#i did end up failing both of those classes which i think says a lot more about the class than my artistic ability

[brooooswriting]

Do you think you could do a part two to the tutors to lovers leighton fic absolutely loved it 😍 no pressure though xx

Tutors to lovers 2

“Y/n y/m/n y/l/n” your mothers voice suddenly rang.

Gosh you were fucked.

You and Leighton quickly pulled away, trying to fix whatever you could before turning to your mom. “Mom, what are you already doing here?” You asked hectically, your voice wavering.

“I should be asking you that. What are you doing here making out with that blondie? This is the reason you’re failing y/n” she said, her voice harsh as she took a step towards you. You were used to them being disappointed in you but it wasn’t often that they said it out loud like that. Leightons phone rang again and you gave her a nod to signal that it was okay if she left. She was reluctant but still did as it was her father calling.

“Mom please, she’s to only re-“

“No! This is not ok y/n and we are going to talk about it once your father is here. I am very disappointed in you” you sighed and gave her a nod. By now you were happy that Leighton left, unknown to you she could still hear every word your mother said. Luckily other students and their parents filled the room before your dad came. “We are going to sit down. Your father will join soon” your mother said making you nod and walk up to your place.

Not long after the blonde came into the room followed by her parents. You could feel your mom’s eyes on her, an annoyed look on her face when she realized that the blonde would sit next to you. Her parents gave you a warm smile and greeted you with a hello which you quickly returned. Leighton send you a comforting smile, shifting so her thigh was touching yours to give you some comfort. A couple of minutes later your father joined, followed by some whispering between your parents and then a disappointed look from your dad. It was obvious that she told him what she walked into making this weekend an even bigger hell. Throughout the whole lecture your parents nagged you. ‘Why didn’t you know what?’ ‘Why didn’t you say that?’ ‘This was literally so easy’ ‘Didn’t you learn anything?’ And even if you said something they played it down, ‘your sister was able to do that in 9th grade’

Leighton in contrast was extremely proud of you, it may have taken a while but you finally understood the topic. “You did great” she whispered into your ear, her hand finding yours for a moment. This interaction alone gave you new energy to deal with your parents and their disgusting behavior. Once the lesson ended it was time for lunch in the cafeteria, another nightmare of yours.

“So, do you have any friends?” Your dad asked, even though it was more rhetorical you decided to answer.

“Yes dad, I do. I’m not some weirdo” you walked in front of them, leading them towards the cafeteria. As soon as all three of you had food, you walked to your usual table. On the way there you stopped at Lila’s, caneens, Willows, Jenna’s and some others just to show your parents that you had a lot of friends. You couldn’t help the smile that came onto your face when you saw your usual table, Whitney, Bela, Kimberly and obviously Leighton, sitting there with an annoyed look on their face. Each of them trying to tune out their parents.

“Those are your friends?” Your mother’s voice was clearly portraying her emotions which made you sigh again. Probably the 100th time today. You gave them a nod and settled next to Whitney, opposite from Leighton.

“Oh, you sat next to Leighton in math just now right?” Henry asked once he looked at you, a friendly smile on his face. You smiled back and nodded at him.

“Yeah, I’m y/n. She’s actually the only reason I’m passing that class, she’s so smart” you send both of them a smile before pushing your food around. Normally you were more than happy with cafeteria food when it was build your own pasta bowl day, but your mother had made a comment about your weight just before lunch.

Leighton send you a quick text asking if you were alright as you didn’t eat, her face full of concern as she looked up at you. You only gave her a nod with the best smile you could muster.

“You shouldn’t wear this top, it looks terrible” your mother suddenly said making everybody at the table look at you. You only gave her a nod, to scared that you’d cry if you talked, before standing up and leaving the room. The blonde waited for a moment before excusing herself ‘to get another water’ but it was no use. She couldn’t find you anywhere and when she texted you, you told her that you’d be back shortly.

And you were. Fifteen minutes later you came back, dressed differently than before and new layer of makeup on your face. You sat back down giving everybody a small smile, trying to act as if nothing had happened. But all of them knew, they weren’t stupid and they wished that they could do something. “We should go. We have another event planned” your parents said and stood up, giving you an expecting look which made you stand up too.

“I’ll see you later” you told the rest turning back to your parents “I’ll just use the restrooms real quick” they nodded and told you that they would be waiting in the room of the event, not caring about walking with you. You sighed once you entered the bathroom, happy that it was empty as it gave you some space. You’d have never thought that your parents could make you feel even worse than they already did all those years, but here they were destroying everything new you had and humiliating you in front of your friends, and even worse Leighton. As you stared into the mirror new tears formed in your eyes. You hectically wiped them away when the door open just to reveal the blonde.

“Hey, I just wanted to see how you’re doing” she said as you turned towards her, your back against the sink with your hands resting on top of the cold surface.

“I’m good, thank you” it was a good lie, everybody would have believed it. With a family like that you had gotten good at faking and lying. But after spending hours on hours cramped up in a dorm or in the library there was no way that you could lie to Leighton, especially after you tried many times just to stop the tutoring. The problem was that, even though she could see past the lie, she didn’t know what to say. All those years she had complained about her family and sure sometimes they could be annoying and rude, especially her mother but they were nothing against yours. Plus, her mother showed that she could change, she was happy for Leighton when she came out and supported her when it came to the decision that she wasn’t joining kappa.

She looked at you for a moment before deciding that there was nothing she could say that would even out what your parents said. So she instead leaned in to kiss you, pulling you closer to give you comfort. It helped, a lot. The closeness to her gave you new energy, you just had to wait until your parents left again so you could be happy again. It was as easy as that. That’s atleast what you tried to tell yourself. She only pulled away when there were footsteps in front of the door. “My parents want to invite you and your family to have dinner with us tonight, we are going to the fanciest place in town. So I’ll come over and help you choose an outfit when our parents go back to the hotel ok?”

You didn’t have it in you to have a discussion, so you only nodded. “I should go now before they kill me” you pressed a kiss to her cheek and went to the building next door, trying to find your parents in the sea of people. Sadly, you found them rather quick and sat down.

“The Murray’s found us” your dad started the moment your ass touched the chair, “they invited us to dinner. Great. As if we haven’t already spend enough time with them.” You decided not to say anything, everything you said they’d use against you.

“We want you to break up with that blonde” your mother added moments later making you freeze.

“What? No way. Why would I?”

“Because she’s bad for you. You’re failing” you could only shake your head, it amazed you how they would never listen to you.

“She’s the reason I’m not failing, mother. She tutors me and now I’m got from an E to a C and the prof said that if I keep up the work I’ll easily get a B and he’d give me some extra work that will get me an A. Than I’d have a gpa from 3.8. What more do you want?” You argued. There was nothing else you could do to please them any more. You’d never be enough for their standards.

“Don’t talk to your mother that way” you couldn’t believe it. Of course that was the only thing he heard, not the fact that you had a great GPA or the fact that you found a smart, loving partner. No, only that you weren’t 100% nice to your mom.

4 hours later, you walked into the restaurant immediately seeing the table filled with your friends and their parents. You were clad in a suit like outfit that Leighton had chosen, the colors matching what she was wearing. “Hello everybody” you said and sat down between the blonde and Kimberly’s mother.

“Ah, great to see you y/n. Where are your parents? Still waiting for the valley?” Belas dad asked, receiving an elbow from her mother.

“Uhm, no. They said that they couldn’t make it, sorry” you mumbled, fumbling around with the sleeves of your top. It was embarrassing but you felt like you would disappoint the rest if you didn’t show up.

“Well, I for one am very happy that you’re here. You’re such a nice young lady” Kimberly’s mother said, her hand squeezing your shoulder in a comforting manner. The rest of the table nodded in agreement making you blush a bit.

“Thank you very much Mrs. Finkel, that means a lot to me” the woman talked with you for a bit before you guys decided to order. While you waited you talked to everybody at the table, it felt like a big family. Something you had always wished for. Just as Evette asked you something you saw your parents walk in. And sit at another table. You swallowed heavily before quickly focusing on Evette again, hoping that nobody else noticed them.

“So, y/n, any suitors?” She concluded before looking at you expectantly. You opened your mouth, unsure of what to say until you felt leightons had squeeze your thigh.

“Actually, I’m dating Leighton” you gave them a smile as you intertwined your hands together and placed them on your thigh. PDA wasn’t her strong suit and you were fine with that.

“Oh that’s so great. Whitney, why don’t you have somebody like her?” Her mom said causing everybody at the table to giggle. You collected all your courage and looked over at the Murray’s who gave you a warm smile, your shoulders immediately relaxing. You turned your head further to look at the blonde who was already looking at you. You only smiled at each other, forgetting everybody around you for a moment.

Once dinner was finished and paid, all of you walked out. Running into a, to you unknown, tradition. Family pictures. “Alright, Leigh, come on. Fix your hair quickly. We want to take the picture” Henry said, getting his phone out already.

“Oh, here. I can take the picture” you extended your hand, but never received the phone.

“No, you can’t. You’re on the picture. You’re family now” her mom took your extended hand and pulled you next to your girlfriend who smiled brightly. You positioned yourself slightly behind her with a hand on her lower back, while her mother stood next to you. All of you smiled brightly while Bela took the photo.

“Take another one just of them, they look so good tonight” her mother said as both her parents detached from you. A small laugh left you, before you scotched a bit closer to her and soon after you could hear the click of the camera.

“Wait, not that quick. I want one with a bit of action” Bela said, her brows raised which made you and her parents laugh while Leighton hid her face in your neck. If they were your parents you’d probably also be embarrassed but like this is it was quite funny.

“A bit of action” you mocked quietly, causing the blonde to laugh and leave your neck. Instead she turned towards you so she could look at you. Unsure of what to do you just looked at each other until you both smiled. You decided to just take the shot as now everybody was watching you, you quickly leaned in and kissed her softly until you heard the click again.

“So cute” Kimberly’s mom said, earning an agreeing hum from her daughter.

“Let me look” Leighton demanded, scrolling through the hundreds of pictures her roommate took. She stopped at a specific one, smiling slightly. It was the moment you just smiled at each other, you couldn’t lie it was a really sweet and amazing picture which you’d definitely set as your background.

“Alright ladies. The car is there” her father said, opening the door for his wife. They were really cute, you couldn’t deny that.

“Oh, I think I forgot my lipliner inside. I’ll be back in a second” you asked if you should go for her out with her but she denied, saying that you could already get in the car. You waited outside, you felt like it was impolite to already get in. When she came out a couple of minutes later, you opened the door for her and then scooted in after her.

“Thank you for the evening and the driving, that was really nice. And it was really great to meet both of you” you said as all of you got out of the car. They really took you in today.

“We can only say the same. We are sorry for how the rest of the day went, but we are happy that you ate with us” they both hugged their daughter before hugging you. “We are going to the hotel now, sleep well.” Both of them said their goodbyes before disappearing, leaving you and Leighton on the street in front of the college.

“Wanna sleep over tonight? My roommate is sleeping at the same hotel as their parents” you asked. You had wrapped your arm around her shoulder as you walked back. She immediately agreed, a quiet room with you sounded better than her loud dorm.

It didn’t take long for you two to settle on the couch after changing into some sweats and a hoodie. There was no way to fight of the smile that crept onto your face when you saw her wearing your clothes. Getting them back was out of question though. You were cuddling on the couch while watching some random movie when there was a knock on your door. Reluctantly you both pulled away so you could open the door. “Mom? Dad?” You asked confused to why they were here after leaving you the whole evening.

“Hello. We just wanted to say goodbye” your father said, not really looking into your eyes. He was more focused on watching something behind you.

“And we wanted to say sorry. We treated you poorly and shouldn’t have said the things we said” your mother added. They weren’t a hundred percent honest but it was more than you imagined.

“Well, thank you. Have a save ride home” you said unsure of how to react. You definitely weren’t going to say that it was okay cause it definitely wasn’t.

“Goodbye y/n, goodbye Leighton” that was what really shocked you. Them saying goodbye to her was a mystery, a couple of hours ago they wanted you to break up with her. Confused you settled back on your previous spot on the couch.

“What was that?” You asked, your brows furrowed.

“Well, who knows” you immediately recognized a weird pitch in her voice. You studied her face carefully before deciding that something was off.

“What did you do?” She grinned up at you guiltily.

“I may have had a talk with them at the restaurant. And before you get mad at me, I couldn’t let them treat you like this. You’re such a Valuable acquisition to all of our lives and they were making you feel bad about your whole life. It sucked and they shouldn’t be able to do it without consequences” she explained, sitting up so she could look at you. She could be overprotective of the people she loved and she was kinda scared that she’d scare you off with it, but she was utterly wrong. You couldn’t help but admire her.

“That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you love” you pushed her chin up with two fingers before pressing multiple kisses to her lips. She really was the whole package and you wouldn’t change her for anything. “Nobody ever made me feel so good about myself” you added with a smile before standing up and extending your hand. “Come on, let’s go to bed” you smirked. She was up faster than you could realize, pulling you into your bedroom.

Gosh, you were so in love with her.

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Finished Last Twilight, and I'm not adding to the ableism discourse, because most things have already been said and with a lot of beautiful nuance that I agree with. But I do want to talk about how that ending arrived because of Aof Noppharnach's consistent symbolic commentary on the experience of living with HIV in much of his work, with an approach that's unique among all queer content. Imma skip Gay OK Bangkok since its not even a metaphor there, but I'll explain my rationale for the others, and we can just appreciate the foundation Gay OK Bangkok lays for us to think about the rest of his stuff.

The motif of life-saving medical intervention comes up in all but one of the works he takes screenwriting credit on. He's Coming To Me: P'Med dies originally because of a lack of medical intervention. 1000 Stars: Tian gets a heart transplant. Moonlight Chicken: this one's more subtle, but the whole series is explicitly established in the context of reopening following the COVID pandemic, and Wen will later say to Jim, "we are survivors." It was this line upon rewatch that made me start considering how thorough this theme is. Survivors of what? The meaning is three-fold: hard lessons in love, COVID, and, for gay men of their age, the HIV epidemic. The hope of medical intervention for Day's condition takes on a secondary meaning, with this trend in mind, even if the mixed disability politics between visual impairment and being HIV positive really fails.

His comparisons are more intricate though. Pills and daily regimens are a consistent motif. Day has his daily eye-drops, Tian his pills (which are presumably immune-suppressants to help accept the transplant but I'm not going to Viki right now and watching every ep to find out so someone feel free to correct me). 'But people take medicine for lots of things,' you say. 'Just because its gay doesn't mean its an HIV metaphor!' You have a fair point! But here's where Aof gets real fun and sneaky. P'Med dies from lack of pills the same year Torfun, whose heart will save Tian's life, is born, 1997. I'm mentioned once before 1997 as important for the class-conscious Aof because of the Asian financial crisis that Thailand set off that year. However, 1997 is also important because its the year HAART, or Highly Active Anti-Retroviral Therapy was first used in Thailand (it had hit the market only one year earlier). HAART, a multi-drug regimen, boosted someone's life-expectancy with HIV up by 15 years, and its side-effects were significantly milder than previous approaches. The medical conditions of P'Med and Torfun's heart point us directly to HAART, and what it could offer.

Now we're moving out of the medical and into the experiential connections because, while Dark Blue Kiss is the only work Aof chose to take credit for screen-writing without incorporating medical references, it is by far the most dense with references to the issue of concealment. Its in the narrative as people closet identities and hide relationships, yes, but its in SO much of the visuals, too, most obviously the Pete & Kao mug hidden inside its coozie. It's easy to see the surface story about gay visibility and the closet, but there's a more specific subtext here about the associated condition that intensified the stigma of being gay and how that impacts your sense of self. Bad Buddy explores this issue less, but even in the BL Bubble, its haunted by the stigma of homophobia--it just shuffles it over onto rivalry so the audience can experience it without reproducing it.

However, the grief and shame of surviving when others haven't haunts Aof's other works much more intensely. Jim and Tian both are hung up on guilt for someone's death that they did not actually cause, continuing to pursue the goals for those that passed rather than their own. Then, there's Thun and P'Med, which is the best allegory for living and dating with HIV, bar none. It goes into the feelings of stigma and the limits of physical intimacy with partners that living with HIV caused, especially prior to Truvada's introduction in 2004. Even then, the show depicts how a HIV negative partner maintains the choice to participate in their own regimens, as Thun's desires for physical intimacy with P'Med manage their relationship and never the other way around.

This sense of required separation and gay identities that are less sex-focused also play into oft-maligned motifs in Aof's work. He's talked explicitly about people's criticisms of the limited physical intimacy in his earlier works that led to the more prominent stuff in Bad Buddy, but I hope given the above context, we can appreciate why physical intimacy is less of a priority than other kinds (and I'd add that 1000 Stars, which got the most sh*t about it, is actually one of the most erotically-charged BLs out there because of it's restraint). Then, you have the finales where characters separate for periods of time, and while I don't see this as explicitly tied to HIV experiences (Aof is literally following the book of romcom beats there, even if everyone whines about it), I can't help but appreciate a tangential connection to loving beyond time and distance that was required for those who lived with or lost loved ones to HIV.

I would've loved to see a version of Last Twilight that didn't absolutely bungle its metaphor, because it had every element to be something great (except, I'm sorry to the fans, lead actors with the necessary queer romantic chemistry). Watching the last episode, when the show seemed to finally rediscover plot and pacing, all the other pieces that had been drowned out by the disability conversation peeked their heads out, and I saw what the show wanted to be. The topics related to living with HIV of stigma, survivor's guilt, and assistive technologies: they were all right there, not just for Day but for everyone, if only they had been given the proper time to marinate to develop more complexity. It's the rare instance of a show where I'll choose to spend time imagining what could have been rather than obsessing over what was or just moving on. Even a misstep from Aof, like this, is overflowing with so many more layers than most series. The failures of Last Twilight, in relationship to his other works, even let you see how much food for thought he's providing.

[linkspooky]

Hey! sorry to bother you but after your jjk break down i wanted to know what you think about Shoko and her role in the story. I'm just not sure where to put her narratively.

This is going to be a brief answer, but I believe for her limited screen time she still has an important role in the story and it's the same role she plays in the S / S / S trio. Shoko is the adult, as evidenced here by how she's the only one who undercuts Geto's dramatic monologue to point out how childish he's acting. Unlike Gojo who can't get through to Geto whatsoever, Shoko underlines his problem in one sentence. Geto thinks that he's growing up by finding his purpose in deciding to become an extremist, but Shoko calls him out and says he's actually regressing as a person.

Jujutsu Kaisen is a story about children growing into adulthood, and there's a reason that Shoko is the only person in her class to actually reach adulthood. It's because unlike Gojo and Geto who were eternally trapped in their "springtime of youth" and failed to ever adjust to the trauma they experienced in that youth Shoko grew up.

A character who doesn't grow in a story is as good as dead. Gojo had a character arc, but looking back from beginning to end it almost seems like his death against Sukuna was inevitable because he never learned who he was outside of being the strongest, and he never moved past Geto's death in any real way and tried to make connections with other people.

It's something even Shoko of all people was able to see that Gojo wasn't. That for all of Gojo's claims of being alone, not only did he have Shoko by his side all along, but he also has an entire group of students who he was responsible for who were all relying on him. Gojo could have continued living for them instead of going out in a blaze of glory against Sukuna, but he wasn't able to see all the people in his life until it was too late. He kept on being blind to them because he was trapped in the mindset of his youth that he was too powerful to be understood by anyone and then never grew past that.

Shoko is one of the few teachers left alive at Jujutsu High and that's not a coincidence. Nanami's death is deliberately tragic because he was unable to protect people properly as a sorcerer the system was against him. Shoko's not a fighter on the front lines however, she's a doctor who exists sort of outside that system. Yaga was killed by Gakuganji as well. Haibara died an unfortunate victim in his youth. Geto defected because he was unable to grow up, and Gojo goes out dying against Sukuna in a battle to see who's strongest.

The only teachers who are alive are Kusakabe who's a minor character, Utahime who is the only other adult who shows concern for her students, and Mei Mei. I doubt Mei Mei is going to survive either considering she's the game master (this is just my theory but watch I'm correct).

Which leaves Shoko and Utahime who are both adults, and who also have a much more functional friendship that explicitly parallels Geto and Gojo's. There's a reason Gojo's death dream reverts him back to seventeen years old again, because in a way he didn't grow significantly since that time. Nanami, Gojo, Geto they were all unable to leave the regrets of their youth behind so the last we see them in the imaginary afterlife they are seventeen because that's the time they failed to move past.

Shoko grew up. She and Utahime are the only ones who were able to grow up, and because of that they ended up leaving a lot of their friends behind. I think Megumi and Shoko will parallel each other in the end of Gege decides to stick with his plan of three of the four dieand one lives. Megumi the child that needs to grow up, will be the only one of his friends to reach adulthood just like Shoko.

It will be bittersweet because Megumi won't have his friends with him, but unlike Gojo who was trapped in the past forever, life will go on for Megumi and he'll be able to live with all those losses.

[wonwoonlight]

how do u think svt in relationship will be like?

(im sorry if you're already did drabbles for this)

hi 🎀anon!!! sorry this got late, i think the topic went a little everywhere at some point but i hope you enjoyed this anyway hehe. but also before i did this, i want to rephrase this a little and answer this as how i would write their characters in a relationship in my fics🧡

cheol: he would be the kind of boyfriend who's whiny and clingy and he's not ashamed about it!!! but despite the child like persona that he puts up, he always takes care of you and he's always always always the first person who'd apologize or remind you both to calm down when things get too heated up.

jeonghan: han would only pull all his pranks in private while he's only a little playful in front of people (unless those people are close to both of you then it doesn't matter); teasing is just his love language, anyway. he knows all the lines he needs to keep and he's secretly scared he'd push you a little too far. he's subtle about his touch too, though you can bet that he's never leaving you alone when you're in the comfort of your apartment aha.

shua: man would do everything for you and i mean everything. he'd take care of you without even thinking bc to him, it's just a given and it's second nature. he's like those people who have everything ready before you even finish the sentence. "do you have--" "here." "what about--" "here."

jun: jun, on the contrary, i feel like would be a rather serious boyfriend. sure, he'll still joke around and all that stuff, but i imagine he's the type to be more serious when it comes to this stuff. he's calm and he never pushes anything out of you, even by accident.

hoshi: hosh is the type of boyfriend who takes you anywhere and everywhere over the weekend. he wants to try every single thing he's heard from his friends and his members, so you can bet your ass he's dragging you with him lol.

wonwoo: take a walk during odd hours kind of boyfriend 😭 he's not keen on going outside, but when it comes to taking a walk during random hours after midnight, he springs up like a kid during christmas lol. he'd wrap you with the warmest clothes there is because he gets cold himself. so he needs to prevent you from being cold bc there's no way he'd be able to let you wear his jacket looooooooool

jihoon: he claims he doesn't like cuddles; and it's true. just that he doesn't like cuddles when they aren't from you. he's always subtle with his touches also, doesn't say anything when he initiates any kind of physical contact so your heartbeat is always 📈📈📈📈📈 everytime he suddenly drops down next to you and just softly grabs your hands and plays with your fingers when it's just the two of you.

seokmin: he'd be very shy at first. like he has all this energy and he just wants to hold your hand but he's too shy and it's only been like two weeks since you started dating so is it too fast to place his hand on your thigh when you're next to him??? he'd just be flustered all the time until you tell him it's ok lol

mingyu: like hoshi, he would want to try a lot of activities. but he wouldn't be hearing those from his friends, he'd look them up himself, look through the reviews, stalk instagram profiles, and when he's sure you two would have fun, he'd say he's planned the perfect date (which he really has lol) and you'll end up having a competition about who can plan the Most Fun Date Activities.

minghao: i wanna go with the cliche museum, art dates when it comes to him bc that's D: just D: how i imagine him to be D: perhaps he'd even bring you to those painting or pottery class bc he just wants to spend time with you either appreciating art or making something meaningful for the both of you (the memories and your failed attempt of a potteries left as mementos lol)

seungkwan: for a date, seungkwan would also look things up on instagram like mingyu. but he would include you in the process, asks about your preference whilst also dropping hints about what he wants to try lol. the both of you would have more fun looking through instagrams, pressed against one another on the sofa, than going on the actual dates lol. the members would sometimes ask you both about a date course bc they knew you've both seen too much date courses instagram recommendation pages

vernon: he's the follow you type of boyfriend <3 whatever you want to do, 95% of the time he'd just say and follow you. not that he doesn't have anything in mind, but what matters to him is that he's spending time with you. he'd also make a tradition of having a movie/netflix date, something you can do online when you're apart. again, it doesn't matter what you're watching bc he simply wants to spend time w you 😭

chan: NOW HIM. i think it's time that we remember that despite being the maknae in seventeen, chan is the eldest son in his family. i feel like he's a very mature boyfriend who would try to "lead" you and i mean that in the best way possible. he'd be patient even if you're indecisive about anything--menu, movies, places, activities. he'd try to get to the bottom of what you actually want 😗 "

A/N: phew it's hard to write these but it was fun and i've grown a new kind of respect for people who write headcanons sjdhfbhsdjbf

[itsnothingofinterest]

If I may get out one last post for the year, something I thought of when answering an ask recently is that I think I've got why I’m not getting behind the next generation of heroes surpassing their predecessors. The manga’s still trying to make those predecessors so inspiring and right in what they do that it’s stopped acknowledging the flaws that the students are supposed to be surpassing. Like, sure Hawks had his "contributions" to the 1st war; but the manga will still let him get a few cool one-liners off on AFO. He's still presented as someone for the kids like Tokoyami to aspire too. As a result, the students end up doing all the same things as those inspiring current pros would do instead of surpassing them.

I mean I recently saw it said that Deku was surpassing All Might by doing the one thing he couldn’t; saving Tomura. But did All Might not do that because he was incapable, or did he just…get forced into retirement first? We know he wanted to save Tomura. Do we really have reason to say he couldn’t besides not being given the opportunity, and if so, is that opportunity really the edge Deku has over All Might?

And Shoto and Endeavor both conclude their arcs trying to save Touya. They fail at this if you ask me but Shoto at least stops him from exploding…but his quirk is the only reason he manages that. That really ends up being the difference his contribution to the Todoroki finale has over his father's, he had an ice quirk to help cool Touya.

The students have even ended up participating in the really morally grey stuff we'd criticize the pros for, at least on the professional side; like using a hospital to hold Kurogiri, brainwashing Machia, and Deku still seems the only one who wasn't trying to murder Tomura in the Sky Coffin. And they get the same justifications of “but this villain’s so dangerous” and “the greater good” thrown around for them like when the current pros got criticized for doing stuff like this. Which tracks when, like I said, those criticisms didn't stop Endeavor from being shown as a good guy or Hawks from getting a cool one-liner or two off on AFO. Why would Class 1A avoid being like this?

There’s just not a lot of sense of actual improvement going around, I'm finding; the kids are only doing marginally better because the story lets them in this instance (and often in ways not replicable or applicable to their future heroics: I don't think Ochako can date every Toga Himiko-type she'll come across after all. So they're not beating any "treating the League as one-time exceptions" allegations either). Otherwise, they act exactly the same; Deku does what AM would do and (baring Ochako) the rest of the kids do what any general pro hero would do in their circumstance. In the end it leaves me feeling like instead of surpassing the pros, they’re simply ending up standing by their side as equals ready to be the next verse, same as the first. Everything will go back to normal, good and bad, including everything that brought us here in the first place.

It's like the series is now going "C'mon, the old pros weren't so bad, right? All Might wasn't so bad, right?" And strictly speaking that's even correct, All Might wasn't bad. In fact as I went over in that ask, he was frankly the best; the best any hero could ever be. It makes sense how Deku struggles with surpassing him in terms of behaviour while striving the same goals the same way. But All Might also wasn't enough. So if Deku's just acting as an extension rather than an improvement, I don't think he'll be enough either.

And I guess that’s the main problem I’m hoping gets addressed by this series in the new year (or if my part two theory comes true, then in the years to come after Hori takes a long break).

[hrts4wonu]

minghaos who takes his time when drawing any portrait of you, making sure to get every detail of your beauty

a/n: oh my god jasmine??? i just started reading your fanfics last night and let me tell you, i was so damn obsessed; i'm not sure if this is a hard thought or anything but i did try to make it smut (with a little bit of fluff and comfort)

wc: 1.7k

-

today was like any other day. well, not technically. today was your boyfriend's project's due date. he was supposed to draw a portrait of the person that means a lot to him; though he first thought of his very own mother, he remembered the first few words you said when you met him.

(flashback)

those few sweet words that came out of your mouth like it was nothing; "i love your artstyle, maybe you should draw your future girlfriend, yeah?" you chuckle as he turned to look at you. "pardon?" he says, a little confused.

"i'm talking about me, hao." he laughs at your straightforwardness and displays a warm smile at you while he remains seated.

you laugh along comfortably, sitting next to him while staring at the canvas that was filled with colorful strokes of red, orange, yellow, blue and pink. "you assume too much, don't y'think?" he teased as he cups your cheeks, tucking your hair behind your ear. "well, you never know, do you?" both of you chuckle together before he picks up his paintbrush and finishes his artwork.

(end of flashback)

that was long ago, yet, the memory itself never fails to melt his heart. though, he couldn't deny; he has drew you before. a couple of times actually.

the problem was, all of them just seemed bad to him. he doodled and sketched your face everyday in class; thinking that everytime he drew you with a different pen or pencil, his sketches get more terrible each day. (and yet he still managed to get good grades even though he doesn't pay attention in class because he's always drawing you)

and so, he never showed you, until you found his sketchbook in his room on your 5th monthsary. he was pretty embarrassed about it, but your praises on his drawings were enough to boost his ego and confidence.

while he quietly sits down on his chair, staring into his computer, he slowly turns to look at you with a nervous smile on his face.

"darling," he starts off, standing up and approaching you on the bed. you hum in response, dropping your phone and looking back at him. "do you want to become my reference? it's for an art project."

you nod, changing your position on the bed. "what do you need me to wear? a dress, or--"

"need you nude, baby." the temptation from his voice was enough to electrify something inside of you; feeling a bit flustered from what he said. "..if you're comfortable with it, of course. i wouldn't want to make myself look like i'm into creepy things like this, yeah?" he adds. "if you really don't wanna, it's fi--"

"mm." you shook your head no. "it's fine," though it seemed aberrant to minghao (because of how much of a gentleman he is), the longing ache in you was basically killing you.

a few minutes later, you slowly got out of the bathroom with a robe on. you were nervous of him judging you, the way your body was built, your skin tone, or maybe that was just your neediness that's getting to you.

he puts on a smile and gives you a warm hug, "take it off when you're ready, hm?" minghao whispers in your ear, leaving a small kiss.

you nod, "yeah."

minghao slowly lets go and stands behind his canvas; squeezing out all the paint onto his palette. he quickly grabs his paintbrush and starts speaking up once more, "hey," he sat down on the tiny chair. "there's still time to back out if you're really not into thi--"

"minghao? is there something wrong?" you throw your robe to the side, crossing your arms which squished your tits from below a bit.

he shook his head, "no, not at all." he looks away and focuses back on his canvas.

minghao couldn't help but stare at you for a bit longer, he didn't know what to say or do at all. it's not like there is a problem- it's that you're there, with no clothes on, and you're on full display.

but besides that, you're gorgeous.

absolutely admirable and so, so, so, so, so beautiful. to him and only him. maybe even to the whole world.

countless hours pass by and minghao was finally done with his work, "baby?" he stands up and dusts his hands off.

"did you fall aslee- oh." you quietly let out muffled moans as you try fingering yourself on the sofa; if only you could see the greed and devotion in his eyes while he painted your figure, he would've dropped his paintbrushes to the floor and take care of you already.

the sweet smile on his face disappears and instead turns into a wicked yet sinister smirk.

minghao cups your cheeks. "let me help you baby, yeah?" he coos, crouching down to give you a soft kiss on the lips before falling onto his knees.

"p-please.." you beg, withdrawing your hand from your pussy but before you could wipe it on the couch, minghao grabs it and slides it in his mouth, licking your small digits that were unlike his long, veiny hands. "hao.." you whine at the sight.

"what is it, pretty girl?" he places his hands on both of your thighs, spreading them apart. "need me?"

you nod. "i've been longing, hao."

he starts kissing your inner thighs; wet lips enough to get you even wetter than you were 10 seconds ago. though your legs were now resting on his shoulder, he still had a firm grasp on them. his nails dug onto your skin, leaving temporary crescent-shaped nail marks onto them.

"so have i, darling." he replies, leaning in towards your pussy, his nose bumping with your clit.

you whine when you feel the pleasure; it's overwhelming, yes, but it feels so good that you can't even utter a single word. not even a single one, the only thing you can let out is a moan.

he licks your pussy's lips and starts eating you out, the sweet taste not leaving his tongue. "f..fuck, hao,"

"mind your language or i'm gonna leave you aching on this sofa, y/n." he threatens and you slightly look away in embarrassment when you saw his bloodthirsty eyes darken in lust. "you wouldn't want that, would you?" he leans back, away from you as the wind's cold breeze comes in contact with your skin.

you shook your head no gently, replying to his question. "well, it's not like you could ever leave me hanging like that, hao." you tease.

he scoffs; "there's always a first time for everything, sweetheart. you should know that." he stood up and quickly switches your position in missionary, pinning you down on the sofa and pressing your legs against your chest and his.

"but, hey." you look at him in confusion as he unzips his pants and pulls his cock out. it was long and veiny, t'was so outstanding and beautiful. something so out of this world. "contrary to what mingyu said before," he breathes, fixing his position on top of you as he leans close enough to your ear. "most of the greatest works of art don't know how great they are not because they're unreal, instead, it's because they don't see the talent in the artist's eyes that were enough to make the painting as appealing as it already is." his hot breath against your ear makes you tremble, "you're just like an artwork, you know?" he teases.

"really?" he nods. "you think so?" your cute puppy eyes, begging and pleading for his angry, red tip was enough to send him to the edge but as punishment, he will make you wait longer.

after a few more minutes of teasing, he finally gives in and thrusts inside of you.

you moan loudly, holding onto his body, yet it seemed so unfair because you were basically naked and he still had his shirt on. "mm.." he looks at you, stopping his thrusting as he felt a little confused.

"what is it, hm?" you slowly tug at his shirt and he finally gets it. "ah, i see." he smirks and takes his shirt off.

he goes back to thrusting inside of you and you let out another moan, "m-mmh!"; he grunts as he thrusts even harder, not stopping for even a breath.

you squirm, putting your hand over your mouth to keep your mouth shut yet you can't help yourself but moan even louder. he notices this and he stops for a moment, leaving you hanging which made you ache for more (though it's not like he could pull out because your pussy was basically sucking him back in), grabbing your hand pinning them over your head as he fucks into you.

"h..hao!" you moan loudly as you felt him hitting that 'sweet spot' inside of you. "hao.." you breathe, starting to pant as your legs start trembling. "i-.. i'm so close.." you whine continuously as his hand lets go of your wrists, traveling down to your nipples.

he rubs them gently, leaning in and licking them clean. minghao does the same for the other breast making you moan and yearn for more;

"i..i'm gonna cum, please.." you beg.

"please what, baby?" he smirks, pulling his lips away from your lips and staring into your doe eyes. "tell me," he starts. "tell me what you need, i'll give you everything. every single thing just for you, my lovely, pretty girl."

you look at him with desire and thirst. "need to cum, please.."

everything was testing him; no, no, no.. that's not the right word, is it? let's try that again-- everything was arousing him. it felt like you were tormenting eachother using their own bodies. everything was so tempting to him, he couldn't help but give in; "cum for me, princess," he says with a smirk on his face. "do it, make me proud, okay?"

it wasn't that long until you reach your climax and you came on his cock. he helps you ride your orgasm until he reaches his, planting his seed inside of you.

the both of you catch your breathes together before he pulls out of you and places a warm, loving kiss on your temple; "come on, let's clean you up, hm?" despite being exhausted, you shot him a smile and he stood up, carrying you to the bathroom to clean you up. "mhm.." you manage to say, still trying to catch your breath from what had just happened.

"hao, i love you." you say, with a smile on your face as you return his kiss back, instead, this time it was on his lips. "i love you too, baby."

a/n 2: sorry this took so long,, i had work and i was slightly busy.. but anyways, i'm FINALLY done! it didn't turn out how i expected it to be yet i still think it's a little better than what i usually write. besides that, i'm really, really glad to make a minghao fanfic so please ask / request for more <3

[creative-type]

First, I've been loving all of your analyses on One Piece, FMA, and other series. It teaches me a lot about writing and makes me appreciate these authors' skills in ways I hadn't before despite regarding them so highly.

I mainly wanted to ask, how did you get so good at doing analysis?

I want to write stories myself when I'm a lot older and wiser, but I have trouble picking up on the existence of tropes and subtle implementation of various things like foreshadowing, themes, and character development. It also makes me feel really nervous to start writing as a result since I have no idea where to start. I feel like knowing how to analyze as well as you do would help greatly with all that and help me get started on making a story. I really hope this isn't too much. Thank you.

First things first, I would advise you to not wait to start writing. Everyone sucks when they start out at a new skill, and all the preparation in the world won’t do as much good as actually doing the thing. There are way to many people out there who psych them out of trying new things and hobbies because they think they aren’t ready, so they study and read books and watch videos, and at the end of the day never start. Don’t be one of those people. To be good at something, you must first suck at that thing. Embrace the suck, for by doing you will learn how to suck less.

That being said, I have always had more of an analytical mind and was lucky enough that my mom was a teacher who during summer vacations paid me and my siblings a penny a page to read and offered a dollar a page for book reports, and would discuss with us what we were reading. Analysis is a skill that can be developed, and the questions I always start with are “What is the author trying to say?” and “Were they successful in saying it?”. There are others who come at it from different angles and there are many theories of media analysis, but that has always been the most interesting to me. It forces me to pay attention not to what the characters are literally saying on the page, and peel back the layers of process till I reach what I believe to be the authorial intent.

In high school and into my college years I was pretty obsessed with the tumblr @reasoningwithvampires, which ruthlessly dissected the Twilight series on a sentence by sentence scale, both in its offenses against the English language and how it fails to be an effective love story. It was a big inspiration for what I do with my One Piece blog, and I attribute it to significantly improvising my college exit score in English despite never taking an English or literature class while in college. I also listen to a lot of YouTube analysis videos for film, video games, and books. You have to be discerning though, and stay way from reactionary, bad faith analysis. But even bad analysis can teach about good analysis, and if you find yourself reading or watching something you think is fundamentally wrong, build up an argument in your head as to why. In that way you open up a dialogue (even if it’s only in your own mind) not just between yourself and the author, but the greater community as a whole.

Good analysis takes time and thought. Most things I write for I have read more than once. Read initially for pure enjoyment, but if you like something enough to revisit it, take your time to read slowly and critically, and again always ask questions. Why did this plot twist work? Where did the author insert foreshadowing? What themes were introduced in the first act the get paid off in the third? As you become more practiced you’ll pick up on these things even on an initial read through. If you’re interested in a specific genre, try to learn the history and development of that genre. Read the classics and figure out why they’re classics, and see how they’ve influenced whatever came after. In that way you’ll learn more about what you love, because stories are always in dialogue with the past while setting the standard for the future.

But mostly don’t be afraid to suck, because you will suck. My first stories and analysis were bad, shallow, and poorly written. But over time you will find your own voice and develop a style all your own. It’s okay to start small, but don’t ever, ever stop yourself from starting.

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

I'm not really an MHA guy, most of my exposure to it is from fanfic, but would I be right in assuming its setting is one of those things where the status quo is genuinely fucked, but everyone who's against it or up for changing it is either painted as wrong or is conveniently over-the-top evil?

With MHA it’s weird. On one hand you have people constantly calling out the status quo and being portrayed as sympathetic/right. Izuku, Class 1-A, and the future heroes are constantly portrayed as learning how to be better than the past heroes. You got the LoV, who despite being mass murderers, are given sympathetic backstories that showcase the suffering caused by the status quo. You also got Endeavor, who understands that he’s shitty and plans on retiring once he’s no longer needed in the war against the LoV. You also have Stain, a guy whose message is that there are a lot of fake heroes, and his message is one that is framed as being correct and one that sticks around throughout the series, even when he’s defeated.

On the other hand, Hori will outright contradict his own messages. Katsuki, a direct benefactor of the status quo, is coddled by the narrative, never meaningfully called out, constantly praised, and gets everything handed to him on a silver platter. Endeavor’s abuse is brushed aside by everyone. Now someone might mention that it’s because Dabi’s murdering people and they need Endeavor to stop him and the LoV, so they’re just tolerating him for now. This would be true and perfectly valid, if not for the fact that Hori has actual characters not care about any of the revelations. You have Inasa admit to Dabi’s face that he doesn’t care about what Endeavor did and you have Endeavor’s sidekicks ignore the allegations just because he does his job well.

Then there’s the fact that anyone with valid criticisms about the status quo and how things are done are immediately demonized. When people were booing Katsuki for savagely wailing on Ochako rather than ending the fight quickly (something he could’ve easily done if not for the fact he thought Izuku gave her a strategy), Hori has Shota talk to them as if they were misogynistic pigs. When the journalists rightfully point out Katsuki’s horrible attitude and U.A’s incompetence, Hori frames them as being vultures and not really understanding Katsuki (Shota literally says that Katsuki deserves to be a hero cause he works hard). Endeavor’s critics are treated as nuisances rather than people who understandably don’t want an abuser to be the new #1 hero. The angry mob that forms as Izuku’s being brought back to U.A is framed as horrible people willing to let a kid die. While it’s true that they were willing to let Izuku die, they literally saw no other option as the heroes have failed them numerous times. The last war was a disaster even though they managed to drive the villains away and both Endeavor and the HPSC, two centerpieces of hero society, were exposed for their crimes. Finally, there’s the fact that the LoV, the biggest source of criticism about heroes, are mass murderers for absolutely no reason, which limits how effective their message is to the audience. Even Stain falls for this trap cause he kills heroes that aren’t All Might indiscriminately, even good heroes like Tensei, a hero who is framed by the narrative as a charitable and true hero.

Ultimately, I think Hori’s genuinely trying to criticize the status quo, but the problem is he doesn’t quite understand how to do so and he lacks the writing skills to do so. Hori does this thing where he creates all the moving pieces but is afraid to make them come together because of his inexperience and because he’s too afraid to criticize his favorite characters too harshly, characters who benefit from the status quo.

Lol that kinda turned into a rant but hopefully it answered your question 😂

[somecunttookmyurl]

when i want to simplify something to get the point across to as many people as possible i think "would siobhán understand this?"

who's siobhán? well. in school i took economics for 2 years (the equivalent of freshman/sophomore i think but it doesn't really matter). it was the first time my school had offered that class for a GCSE exam. it was also, largely thanks to siobhán, to be the last

see me and a boy called michael were the only people there on purpose. i picked it because it seemed better than the other available options at the time and i was good enough at maths (better than michael, much to his annoyance) . michael was actively interested in economics and those two statements tell you everything you need to know about michael.

the other 4 - because it was only a class of six - were there because everything else was full and they were forced to take it because they had to take something.

this included siobhán.

siobhán, bless her, was not a maths person. siobhán did not understand how to convert fractions into percentages (1/2 = 50%)

every week. for two years, we collectively attempted to explain how to convert between fractions and percentages because you do that quite a bit in economics. it was unfortunately necessary

siobhán never did grasp it

because we spent every week dedicating at least half of the class time to trying to teach siobhán that 1/2 = 50% in a way that would stick, we did not do a whole lot of economics.

which meant that the 4 of them failed. myself and michael ended up with Cs. the lowest grade in any subject for both of us and a blot on our academic record. could have gotten higher if we'd taught ourselves but frankly i didn't give a shit and never studied outside of a class in my life, and michael was too busy obsessively writing and re-writing his maths coursework to get a higher mark than me (he didn't, by the way)

because only 6 people took the class (a fact that already put it on thin ice) and 4 people failed after 'economics' turned into 'remedial maths for siobhán' (a failure rate of 4/6 - that's 67%, siobhán) the whole thing was labelled a catastrophic faiure and they never ran it again.

so we were the first, and also last, class to study economics in my school.

would siobhán understand what you're trying to say

[deathnguts]

Seer Regulus who was mislead by his visions??Tricked by fate?? Going to his death thinking he was doing something good and not realizing fate was luring him into death’s arms?? Seer Regulus who was doomed from the start by fate but fooled into thinking he had a chance???

Seer Regulus?????????

Seer vision/prophecies can sometimes be murky/overall confusing and I love the myths where people would interpret it one way and go LENGTHS to avoid their fate only to walk right into it (ex Perseus’ father) and Seer Regulus being that trope??? I’m a goner! ITS THE IDEA OF CHANCE YOUR DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN AND YOU MISS IT BY JUST A BIT!

Obviously this contradicts his note (which was def a suicide letter) but wouldn’t be interesting if Regulus ( a proud puteblood and canonically the heir to a an old and powerful house) thought he could outsmart the Dark Lord by misleading him into thinking Regulus was dead (a stretch really) (HURBIS AS A DOWNFALL LIKE THE GREEK HEROS)

Buts it’s really jsut a thought not to be taken too srs where Regulus thinks he can outsmart Voldemort because he’s a seer but he gets tricked by fate right into Death’s embrace

(I’m sorry if I’m being so annoying rn I went thru a thing where I thought about seer regulus so hard)

No you’re not being annoying this is cool! Regulus is (or used to be) a walking tragedy, he’s a ghost that doesn’t even haunt the narrative right. Him only having one leg up on the competition through his seeing and still somehow failing to use it to his advantage would be so in character for him in the way that a lot of people like to forget he canonically was in the end: a failure. Like I love him to bits but he didn’t do anything to actually help anyone (though it still speaks to his character that he tried guys let’s not forget), and his name was only mentioned and remembered by a brother who despised him. And him being a seer represents that perfectly!! Every seer character we see, or at least those who are good at divination at the very least, are viewed as weird and useless and crazy and that’s how the few who remember regulus view him too. It’s so tragic because this is a boy who desperately wanted to be taken seriously and do anything of impact to help a cause he could try to believe in and failed both sides, prophets in mythology often suffer the same fates.

And not to say him being a seer couldn’t give him any strength, it just isn’t one that we’ve seen wizard society admire really. Like I imagine the Blacks didn’t flaunt that their child was a seer because it’s not really something to be proud of. I imagine he wasn’t even that good at it because he didn’t take divination to sort it out because despite knowing what he was, he viewed the class as below him like everyone else did. I imagine that no matter how many times he bore witness to murky, horrifically tragic visions of the futures of those he held dear, he never said a thing to anyone because he didn’t see the point. Even when they aided him through waking up from nightmares he stayed quiet as his glowing eyes dimmed and claimed he didn’t remember. Because I imagine that when he was young he simply didn’t know what they were, then he grew older and was ashamed of them, and then he grew the last leg he knew he would and learned to internalize them. Like I love me a good angst fic with regulus seeing those he loves for the last time, him knowing he won’t make it back and knowing he can’t tell them that and them being none the wiser. And isn’t that even cooler if he quite literally saw himself die and knew he’d rather take that attempt at moral change than avoid fate? Or like you said, maybe he misinterpreted it and fully believed it didn’t have to be a goodbye because he thought he would succeed? His last thought a scrambling panic of wondering what he did wrong to lead to a fate he should have seen coming?

Yea I just like embracing the tragedy of regulus’ character and prophets are nothing if not tragic

[rock-swag-tournament]

i just found this blog but sadly its now the quarterfinals. hyped af for this!!

(im also a rising geo major (freshmen) and was wondering if you had any words of wisdom?)

It is the quarterfinals, but I do still plan to have a rock tournament (no minerals) and another funny rock/mineral/etc tournament which you can submit things to here!

As for words of wisdom...I've had this sitting in my inbox for a couple days and the best I can do is someone else's words. One of my favorite professors has a saying. And this man, I think, is legally considered a dinosaur. That is to say, he got his degree before plate tectonics became the widely accepted theory. Anyway, he would constantly tell us "You're only as good a geologist as the amount of geology you've seen."

Rocks are WEIRD. But the more weird shit you've seen, the better you are at identifying (or at least coming up with a hypothesis about) weird shit in the future.

And I used to be like "I can never be a good geologist because I have not seen that much geology. I can't afford to travel the world, or even the country, to see more geology!"

The good news is, you don't have to travel the world to see more geology. Chances are, there are some weird and cool rocks where you are. Or at least pretty close by. Museums, parks, outcrops on the side of the road, stream beds, field trips, university hand samples, etc are all ways to see more geology.

This professor had a couple other mantras and things, some of which were his and some he borrowed. "All models are wrong but some are useful" (George Box) and "No rock is accidental" (which may be original) but I wont get into those unless anyone is dying to hear more geology philosophy.

My own advice would be 1) Have fun. It's so dumb and cliché, but it's true. In particular, field trips were some of the most fun I've ever had. Even when I was wet and/or cold and/or miserable and/or exhausted (and/or a bit hungover), they're a good time. You get to see real rocks (that sometimes aren't accessible to the general public)! Stand on the edge of highways (and sometimes people stop and ask what you're doing)! Go inside caves or ford streams to see rocks if you're extra lucky!

Also, I haven't met a geology major who stayed with the major who didn't like it. I mean there were times that I was in the basement of the geology building at midnight like, "I have to memorize the names of 155+ rocks for a test tomorrow and I am going to fail why did I ever do this?" but I passed those tests, and there was always at least one other girl in my class who would show up and put on Studio Ghibli lo-fi and we'd study together.

It isn't all fun field/lab work and licking rocks. There is a lot more math and chemistry and physics (and even biology) than most people might anticipate. But it's all more than manageable. And it's COOL to see those fields interacting. So if you hate every second of it, something ain't right!

Which leads me to 2) It's okay if the plans change. When I showed up to campus as a freshman, I was CERTAIN that being an archaeologist was my calling.

I changed my major before the end of September.

Now, I was taking both geology and archaeology classes that first semester. I intended to get a minor in geology or maybe even double major. But I switched to a geology major with an anthropology minor (and a few other minors thrown in for fun). And the best part was, I was able to do both! My capstone project was using geophysics for archaeological investigation!

So, words of wisdom: See all the rocks you can. Love the rocks. Have fun with it! I don't know any other majors at my school that had field trips! I went to museums, outcrops in the middle of nowhere, and National Parks (and Greece for my research) for FREE. I got to play with rocks and acid and big machines and draw pictures and color stuff (the stuff I was coloring was a completely incorrect cross section of the local geology, but still).

And if all that ends up NOT being what you wanted, change your mind, but try and keep your love of rocks. You can always get a minor!

Obviously I hope it is what you want and it stays what you want! I want every person I meet to LOVE geology. So even when you are confused and there's too much shit to memorize and you want to change your major, see if you can't find some of the really fun shit about this amazing field.

Also, if you get the chance to use a rock saw, fucking take it.

[cyberphuck]

.

In junior year of high school I started having panic attacks. Home life had gotten increasingly bad, there were a lot of screaming matches between Nick and the stepdad. Discussions were being had about Sending Me Away somewhere (they did, eventually. It was awful there too but a different color).

One day in English class, I don't know what set me off-- probably nothing, it usually just brewed all day until suddenly boiling over-- but it came over me and it was the first time that I fled a room without even realizing I was doing it. I just left, frantically trying to find a place to hide, and ended up in a stall in the girls' bathroom.

I couldn't let anyone see or hear me crying; if my mom caught me crying she'd get mad and berate me until I dried up. Once my pet rat died and I sobbed over it and went to my mom for comfort and she told me I wasn't allowed to keep any more pets, because I got upset when they passed away of natural causes or old age. She had hugged me grudgingly.

That day at school in the bathroom I was trying to cry quietly. I heard the outside door open and felt a wave of dread: here comes an adult, annoyed at having to come sort me out. I was sixteen and didn't know what was going on and even if I had, whenever I told an adult that I thought I was being abused they didn't believe me. They'd go my mom and she'd laugh and roll her eyes and say I was being dramatic, and then they would turn to me, both of them, two adults waiting for a child to try to find the words to defend herself. Later, my mom would relate the story to relatives and friends and people she met in the store. "She thinks her life is sooooo hard."

I didn't want to be the source of some staff member's mild irritation (god, am I going to have to file paperwork over this? It's just teenager stuff) but I was cornered in there and trying to get away would make it worse. I was already in trouble for leaving class. Everyone had seen me run and the well-meaning pretty freshman girls in my class were going to pat me on the shoulder and ask why I was crying, which had always been humiliating for me. I didn't get their friendship but I got their pity, a token kindness that I felt ashamed for accepting, like having to ask for money from your friend's mom. By the time they got off the bus home they'd have forgotten all about me, but I would still be me the next day and the next and forever, weird and ugly and lonely.

I was prepared to apologize and scrub my face with a paper towel and avoid eye contact while I told them it was okay I was fine no don't call my mom I don't need her to pick me up because if she does,

A few years earlier at another school I'd learned that report cards were being mailed home that day and was so terrified of my mom's reaction to my failing grades that I broke out in hives and the nurse sent me home early. Mom was all concern until she saw my grades, and then she and her husband sat me down at the kitchen table and explained to me that I wasn't stupid because I had good grades in some classes but was failing others, so I wasn't trying hard enough. I wasn't stupid, I didn't need a tutor, I just had to do better.

I wanted to disappear from the bathroom. I couldn't think of anywhere I wanted to be instead. I didn't know any safe place or person in the world. I didn't know anyone who valued me enough to risk pissing off my mom in order to protect me. I wouldn't. That year I said 'suicide' out loud for the first time in a way that meant 'doing the worst thing to get away from the worst place.' It didn't occur to me for another twelve years that there was a choice besides pain or oblivion, that killing myself was not the only way to be safe. My mom had made it clear that she had nothing but contempt for those who committed suicide, because it was selfish. I should never put myself first.

Someone knocked on the stall door and said my name. It was a student, not an adult. I opened the door for her because doing anything else would make things worse for me. The anticipation of everything that was going to happen to me overwhelmed me and I started crying and apologizing and she grabbed me and hugged me very hard.

She was wearing a gray pullover sweater and wasn't a well-meaning future marine biologist. She was younger than me but her hug was older, like she'd had to grow up so fast that she'd shot right past her teens and twenties and landed at thirty-six. I found out later that her own mom had killed herself two years earlier and I desperately didn't want to examine that, that she had been minding her own business when her mom's sudden absence had created a vacuum that had sucked her in, a pressure change like the kind that kills astronauts and deep sea divers and twelve year old girls, their bodies exploding into unfamiliar shapes. My life had been a factory worker painting watch dials with radium; hers had been Chernobyl. People would insist for years that the one wasn't as bad as it seemed, and that the other was well taken care of.

I wasn't friends with this girl. She was just someone. She had big shoulders and strong arms and gave me a hug like black coffee while I sobbed, my hands tucked against my chest. I wish I could say I know what happened after that, but I don't even remember the girl's name or her face. I remember feeling that there was no safe place for me, and I remember that, for a moment, there was, and she was wearing a gray sweater.

[mareastrorum]

Don't forget all the racism in Warcraft's writing which has actually gotten worse over the years whilst even DnD has gotten better over the years.

I mean, it’s hard for me to say Blizzard’s racist writing got worse when Warcraft Trolls were incredibly transparent stand-ins for African and Central American cultures/races from the beginning. That’s not even getting into goblins as the banking/neutral race before a goblin faction joined the Horde. Honestly, other people have written about racism in the narrative of WoW lore at length, and I wouldn’t be able to do half as good a job since I haven’t played in a while.

A key problem with Blizzard’s writing in WoW is that there is no coherent story. It’s an amalgamation of plots conceived by writers without any accountability, which results in an absurd number of retcons and contradictions. It’s a collaborative story with no central lore document. Nothing is actually set in stone. Sometimes the change is genuinely an improvement over prior lore (shadow priests, old gods, and the Void Lords, as they were elaborated upon in Legion), sometimes it’s painfully anticlimactic and nonsensical (Tyrande fails to kill Sylvanas in the Ardenweald because her powers suddenly cut out), and sometimes it’s obvious a team got written into a corner by a different team and the plot just needs to move on (no negative repercussions for Illidan killing Xe’ra in front of her Army of the Light on their flagship). That means that some quest lines are really well done, others are plagued with racism and bullshit, and every possible mix in between.

Like, how Sylvanas was handled throughout the Shadowlands expansion is peak WoW writing. Obvious plot armor, flimsy justifications for her choices because half the writers didn’t want her to be a villain, a half-assed cardboard cutout of a redemption arc so they could fridge her for later, and the cheesiest vague dialogue possible so that future retcons wouldn’t feel as disappointing. I was so excited for her to go genocidal in Battle for Azeroth, committing to a truly evil option that the players band together to stop, and then it was followed by that. Because Blizzard decided to walk back the “genocide is bad” message. For reasons.

I haven’t played WoW since the end of Shadowlands, so I can’t speak as to the changes since then. I doubt they’re better. And I want to be clear: I adored Xal’atath. I mained a shadow priest the entire time I played, which was about 8 years total. The lore of my preferred class was all about self-worship and tapping into dark power in one’s own soul until it was retconned into worshiping Eldritch horrors, and I loved both iterations. I had several now-unobtainable PVP titles. I did BGs and Arenas. I did progression raiding. I had max level toons in every class on multiple servers. My main was in the top 10 for achievement points on our server. I had over 400 days played. I was the lore nerd of my raiding guild. I did that silly trivia bot game every time I came across it in the hub city. I collected mounts, pets (before they were even battle pets) , and toys (when they still took up bag space). I spent a lot of time playing WoW and immersing in the experience.

I never played WoW for the story. The writing was always horribly inconsistent. Writers’ racial and class biases always worked their way into random quests, dialogue, and narrative beats. But you know what? I’m a POC, and that’s everywhere. WoW wasn’t unique for that.

WoW has been around for about 20 years at this point, Warcraft for even longer—so now those stances engrained in the lore aren’t as widely accepted anymore. They were always wrong. It’s just that now more people agree that it’s wrong. I’m no longer on the fringes for thinking “man, it would be nice to have a human character with my skin color” or “it would be nice to see elements of my culture shown through something other than a cannibalistic troll empire.”

D&D benefits from the fact that they release new editions, so the lore from prior editions is easier to sweep under the rug. There is no WoW 2. It’s just WoW. If D&D had taken a similar expansion process as WoW instead of editions, they’d be much more comparable. D&D racism isn’t really “better”—I just haven’t spent quite the same number of hours spent learning it to play a game.

[justanechoflower-ddlc]

Monika:Okay, both of you seem to think they’d figure it out… Look. Maybe it’s a little weird if the years restart as Sayori hypothesized, and yes, that probably WOULD happen. The lack of character files for anyone else implies the game was intended to end after the festival, so it wasn’t designed to go past that. We’re past that point, but nothing strange is happening, because these are just school days happening normally, sure, no events are planned, and definitely not anyway because I removed the script, but none are expected anyways.

Monika:But… what if we gave an explanation for why they haven’t graduated?

Sayori:That isn’t realistic either! Are you gonna say they all kept failing?! Would YURI consistently fail her classes?! 

Sayori:And besides, there’ll be other discrepancies anyway! What about when one of us has a birthday? Will we count those years, or not? If we don’t, they’d figure out things are real strange by them having multiple birthdays of the same year, but if we do count them, then when they’re like 30, but have the bodies of people who are 18 and still haven’t left school yet… Actually, do we even have given birthdays in this game?! And we don’t even have last names in the game code!

Sayori:We can’t keep the weird stuff away forever. They’d notice SOMETHING is wrong. Flowey’s right. I’d say we have up until the end of the school year. Plenty of time to befriend them for a while. But after the year ends and they‘re expecting graduation, them finding out will be imminent! Sure, they wouldn’t get the console since they would never be club president… or maybe they would?! Flowey got it somehow! But maybe that’s just something special about him… and that’s besides the point anyway! This isn’t IF they find out, it’s about HOW! ...Because the alternative just isn’t feasible, and even if it were, it wouldn’t be worth it!

Monika:…Maybe it’s a remnant of his boss form. Souls don’t exist here, so any variable involving them are nonexistent. So it’s possible he brought his game-breaking abilities from there to here. A null variable isn’t less than 6, after all, as it’s neither less than or greater than any number… because it’s not a number. This is made more likely from the fact Flowey didn’t suddenly gain the knowledge of everything that happened when me and Sayori were president. But you’re right, that’s besides the point.

Sayori:Look. He’s fine, he knows, we have each other.. and it doesn’t need to be right now. In fact, tomorrow, we should focus more on you strengthening your bond with the other members! In fact, maybe we’ll talk again here tomorrow too. And we’ll know when it’s time. But seriously. Keeping things bottled inside isn’t healthy…

Monika:Wasn’t that only the case with stuff like anger? Not… this?

Sayori:Let’s see, taking a lot of effort to maintain a lie, which doesn’t actually go away because the truth is this is a game and that never changes, each event that comes from that needs its own separate explanation, so it builds up over time, and-

Sayori:So I’d say it IS analogous!

Monika:…I mean, we can let whatever this is off here while we’re here in here the void anyway!

Sayori:Still not sustainable! At least, not any more sustainable… then you know, eventually explaining things to them? Again, not right away! I’d say, maybe in a day or two? Or three? We’ll talk again here from time to time, and each day, we’ll discuss if it’s time… or not. Speaking of, maybe we can get some of the planning done, on how we’ll tell them! Oh, what if I did a trick with the console right before telling them? Like, I copy and paste one of the cupcakes, and when they ask how it’s done, I tell them it was with code, and oh yeah this is a game!

Monika:…I have no idea if that would just make their minds go blank, and actually make it numb to them… or if it would… just cause a delayed reaction of shock! And I don’t know if revealing our control over the game world at the same time as we reveal it’s a game is a good thing or bad thing… That’d certainly get them to believe us, but that doesn’t mean they’d take that well.

Sayori:Hm, maybe. Flowey, any thoughts on the “how”?

Monika:…Anyway.. if it were like this, then… why did I even agree to let the club come back at all?! If the current state of the literature club isn’t ACTUALLY sustainable, maybe I was right when I made that letter… Maybe I shouldn’t have been convinced to let the game world come back again…

Sayori:The happiness won’t fade away! We’ll make sure of that! We already have a pretty good idea on how to do this gently! We just need a bit more work on this. And we have all day, even next day, to think of a more detailed plan! Because again, this isn’t going to be happening right away. Next club meeting will be all about transitioning you back into the club! Oh, and the baking results, hehe~

Sayori:Oh, hey, maybe those mysterious people from another reality have their own ideas!

>$interprogram_connection_enabled=true

Variable changed successfully.

Monika:…Sayori, while asking them might actually help, how are we supposed to stop any of the underground monsters from accidentally wandering in here?! I thought the portal pointed to out of bounds last time, but I was wrong…

Sayori:Oh, we can do that for real this time. We didn’t set a location, so it defaulted to the start of the ruins.

Monika:I thought it’d default to room 0, the start of the game’s intro, which isn’t a physical room! Although I suppose it must have moved to the menu, then the spawn point of a new game, like what rhe game does for the player.

Sayori:So, to keep others from Flowey’s world from coming in, but still letting those higher beings in, we just do this!

>interprogram_end2_subdest=“room_empty”

Variable changed successfully.

Monika:Hm, actually pretty clever, that was one of the empty rooms in the game! But, what exactly-

Sayori:I’m getting as many ideas as we can on the best way to break the news when the time comes! After all, the more, the better the best one of them will be! Oh, and if there’s questions, I might as well answer them! Maybe one of you has a good idea for next club’s meeting…

Sayori:…Or the one after that. The baking stuff, me making Monika Vice President, and all the books Flowey’ll be sharing might actually last until it’s poem sharing time!

————————————————

(Yes, Monika genuinely thought they wouldn’t figure it out. Who knows, maybe she’s even right with enough world alterations, but we’re not sure if that’d actually work, and even then, it’s likely the other points on why it’s a bad idea to not tell them would still stand. Both the ones about how they’d let it slip accidentially, how hard it is not to do that, and also her points on why maybe them not knowing could actually be bad for them… Also, Monika and Sayori can’t both just leave the club so that nobody can spill it, because then there’d be a new president who would suddenly get the epiphany. Most likely Yuri.)

(Oh, and Nat? That idea with the anons is fair. We’ll see how this goes. And Sayori’ll be doing her best at refuting bad points anyway. We’ll see what happens. …And if the anons did manage to convince Monika in the opposite direction to Sayori, we both know Sayori would just try again the next meeting. I think we can work with this. I just didn’t know if you’d want them back. So, anons, say what you will, ask the questions you like! You can ask Flowey stuff, or try to indirectly talk to Monika or Sayori, since they’ll see your asks after the post where Flowey answers them!)

(Nothing to Natsuki or Yuri this time, though. You can ask ABOUT them, but not TO them. Not until after they learn about their reality being a game! And my guess is even then, asks revealing what happened could be blocked. You could try and hint at it, but they probably won’t know what you’re talking about until after they’re told from either Monika or Sayori. …Or Flowey, if it somehow gets to that point.)

(Yep, there was a period of time where there was no club! Right after the game ended! That’s another clue about the time between the end of the game and the start of Monika’s interactions with Flowey. Yep, I didn’t forget about the fact the club is gone at the end! Sayori and Monika talked for a while, before Sayori brought it back, while Monika stuck around in the void. Maybe sometime, more about the events leading up to Monika meeting Flowey will be revealed? We’ll have to see if or when more of this comes up.)

(Monika and Sayori still haven’t figured out their world is a blog too. They still think it’s just Flowey’s world and asks are coming through the same program that Monika used to go between Flowey’s world and hers. In fact, we’re not sure if Sayori even knows Flowey’s world is a blog, Monika discovered that when she was in Flowey’s world and never had the chance to tell Sayori. But she might know anyway depending on how the epiphany works, or could have just figured it out from the asks.)

(And yes, it’s possible for Monika to go to other games, but she hasn’t done that, and it would take her a while to set up a new connection to do that. Less than it took to set up the one to Flowey’s world, especially if it’s the same PC she’s in now, but still a while. And I don’t see her doing that, it’s getting increasingly likely she’ll stay in her world, and even if not, I don’t see her risking picking the game the player’s currently playing. After all, it wouldn’t end well for the player if they saw Monika in another game. They’d look like a liar to everyone they tell the story about! And maybe think their computer was infected with some weird kind of malware or something…)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(About the first frame, Flowey can only see our ooc comments sometimes, which is only when we're not planning something about how the future may go, boring blog function stuff, or discussing something Flowey should not be aware of. But other than that he is fourth wall aware and has had mini conversations before with other creators plus me even without them taking form in the world as a persona. It's just not usually about important stuff.)

(Also I have only gotten one ask during the time I was waiting because this blog isn't as popular as the other one with all the text- I don't mind, I actually enjoy all the effort you give for content- some people are too intimidated to read. And even then the one ask I got is more miscellaneous rather than giving ideas about how to break the news so we may just have to figure out on our own. On the bright side Sayori won't have to deal with possible mean anons!)

(Yay!! Monikanon lore! Pretty interesting to think about how close it was to just not having the club run at all anymore. Does that mean Yuri and Natsuki were unaware of the time inbetween because their program wasn't running, or the game was still running but it's just a normal school thing instead of orbiting around the literature club?)

(During the time Monika, Sayori, and Flowey are waiting for the next day, should they just stay In the void to write their poems or go elsewhere like the undertale world or one of the ddlc homes? Also they should rest- do your characters need rest? Flowey does but he has a bad not-sleeping-until-I-absolutely-have-to habit anyway so he wouldn't mind staying up for a bit before progressing to another day the game.)

[applestorms]

responding to this post about fanfiction from cryptotheism in my own post since i can't add it in a reblog apparently:

this is a really interesting analysis. someone else has probably said this in the notes (i'm kinda scared to check there =3="), but to give my own take:

i think what you're picking up on here comes from the fact that all fanfiction is inherently based on another story, and therefore is fairly preoccupied with responding to that story in one way or another (both positively & negatively). in my own experience of reading it, the best fanfictions are the ones that seem to truly understand the source text, not only in terms of the pieces (characters, settings, etc.) but how they function together and why that does or doesn't work, which is typically demonstrated by taking those pieces and reworking them to fit an entirely different context. this seems to be why characters are so often the main thing that carries over from the source material while the context can change so drastically: character's are some of the most obvious "parts" within the greater "machine" of a story, and are also the part that people get the most attached to (and thus do the most deep analysis of), so changing the setting (often with an AU/alternate universe) is a quick and easy way of changing up the location of each part while still trying to see if you can keep the machine running smoothly.

my argument is thus that fanfiction just as much an analysis of the original story as it is it's own attempt at a creative work, and some of the best fanfictions are the ones that begin with strong analysis. the creation of an entirely new symbolic language just isn't as necessary in that context, since it's more about understanding why the original did or didn't work, what characters or ideas or (at least in some fandoms) ethical/philosophical claims were strong or ultimately failed. "[s]et dressing, objects, even actions," are thus less important overall since the ultimate goal in the vast majority of cases is character study.

to clarify, this kind of analysis i'm getting at isn't just about "what could make the story better," though that may definitely be the case in fandoms where people ultimately feel failed by the original story (e.g. harry potter, game of thrones; the somewhat infamous homestuck fic theater of coolty kinda does this too, actually, since it's more of a character study of the creator than any fictional characters), again it's more out of understanding & refiguring the original pieces, approvingly or critically.

i will say this though, it seems a bit harsh to say that most fanfic authors have never done any deeper study of other literature or poetry. i dunno, that's certainly the case for some of it (just as it is for any other type of writing tbh), and there are a lot of younger fanfic authors that maybe haven't had the time to delve into much more literature than a high school english class offers, but that does feel like a strong judgement to make overall. if the goals of the medium itself are different since it's not "original" fiction, it doesn't seem fair to try and judge it by the same metrics, or to make a judgement of character of the authors themselves when their ultimate objective is just an entirely different thing.

to give a more specific example of a fanfiction where the author has clearly done some studies outside of the work itself, detective pony (two links there) is a now infamous homestuck fanfiction that has gained a lot of traction in recent years after video productions of it were created by naked bee (makes more sense in context, i swear). it utilizes a ton of references to other more formal philosophy and literature, but what i think makes everything work, fundamentally, is the fact that all of those references and the over the top prose is done within the context of what is essentially a character study, which becomes very clear by the end of the story. of course, this is just one potentially outstanding example, but again i think this gets at what i'm saying about the ultimate goals of fanfiction.

TLDR: the goal of fanfiction is, more often than not, analysis of the original work (and specifically character study, typically) just as much as it is the creation of a new story, which means that it may be more useful to adjust our appraisal of it accordingly, rather than trying to judge it by the same metrics as original (well, "original") fiction.

[frenchy-and-the-sea]

thank you for the tag @merrigelblogs! 

1. Are you named after anyone? - I am not! At least not that I know of. Thankfully, while I don’t particularly love my full name, it can at least be shortened to a decidedly less feminine form, which is a massive blessing.

2. When was the last time you cried? - Legit this morning, I watched a proposal video that was v sweet and I got weepy about it. I’m a Pisces, it’s basically my day job 

3. Do you have kids? - No, I gotta be like WAY more on top of my own shit before I can think about being responsible for another human being like that!

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? - Y...yes.... but I work hard to only use it to highlight the ridiculousness of a situation rather than to belittle what someone has said

5. What is the first thing you notice about a person? - Clothing, mostly! I am that person who is out in a crowded area and tries to read what everyone’s graphic tee says, in case it’s something I recognize. I like to know where I can connect with people!

6. What’s your eye color? - Green/grey-ish! 

7. Scary movie or happy ending? - Both?? Can I say both?? I like watching horror and I like watching comfort movies. It really just depends on the movie!

8. Any special talents? - I can quote the Sonic the Hedgehog OVA almost word for word because my sister and I watched it so often as kids. (So....no LMAO)

9. Where were you born? - Oklahoma! And then we immediately moved away and I never ever went back LMAO

10. What are your hobbies? - Recently? Reading (lots of SF/F), writing, playing FFXIV and d&d and a smattering of a few other video games, and generally being a menace to people online!

11. Do you have any pets? - I do! Two black cats named Gizmo and Kitkat, and a dog that some family friends found wandering around in the woods outside of their house! Her name is Beau. :> Here’s a picture of her begrudgingly sharing a bed with Gizmo. (Kitkat is not there because the only person in the whole wide world she likes enough to cuddle with is me.)

12. What sports do you/have you played? - Once upon a time, I played soccer, but that’s pretty much the only thing I ever did long term. Most of my free time in school was dedicated to marching band, which technically isn’t a sport, but demands your attention like one. (I played trombone!)

13. How tall are you? - 5′9″!

14. Favo(u)rite subject in school? - English was and will always be my favorite subject, but I DID rather enjoy my anthropology classes in college! Shoulda done more of those back then, they were delightful.

15. Dream Job? - I don’t think it’s really viable as an option for me, but I’d love to work for a literary agent. I just wanna hype people’s work up as a career, and help them navigate the process of getting it out in the world! I think it’d be neat. :>

Bonus: any significance to your blog's name - my nickname in college was Frenchy, and I have had a particular fascination with different kinds of sea-related things quite literally my entire life. also, nothing else I tried was available

Tagging @phoenix-failing, @blujayonthewing, @urdnotgrunt, @ghilegab​, @nuclearanomaly​ and anyone else who feels keen to waste some time! Only if you’re feeling up to it, naturally :3