#i did decide once i figure out how to im gonna delete all my posts and just keep these three since im doing rebranding anyway

[astralcurses]

why do i smell coffee :standing emoji: its 2:30 am and theres no coffee anywhere NEAR my house girl what

[ijbolz]

giver piwon... and what exactly they love to give

piwon hyung line x fem!reader 🌨️ some smut headcanons (mentions of piv, oral sex, fingering, etc) a bit self indulgent🫣

a/n: pls forgive me guys if my writing may seem a bit rough right now because im trying to ease back into it after being busy with finals a few weeks ago.! also this is my second time trying to make this post bc tumblr decided to be shitty and delete my draft🥲 oh well...

KEEHO ┊ what use would it be if he's spending hours sweating it off at the gym and he's not gonna use his arms to keep you in place. trembling underneath his hold with your bottom lip tucked in between your teeth. especially if you love a man that makes it clear that he's in charge, asserts control over you if his words aren't enough to do so, until he has no choice but to resort to manhandling you instead. unless that's what you're really aiming for, he's not that difficult to talk to.

have you seen kyo's hands? he'll play dumb and pretend he doesn't notice the way your eyes are almost always locked onto his veiny hands whenever you hang out or... accompany him while he works out. sometimes it becomes a surprise whenever a lil work out session doesn't end up with the both of you fucking.

oh… but when the two of you can't help the heated situation, then kyo's one to greatly enjoy catching you off guard. fucking you with his fingers too good until you fall apart—the weight of your frame leaning against his own as you get lost within the bliss from the repeated pump of his digits. and when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore than what he’s giving you, he’s quick to restlessly plow his fingers slick with your wetness while he watches you writhe from his unforgiving thrusts.

his other hand unabashedly snakes from the messy sheets and against the swell of your breasts before stuffing two digits inside your mouth, earning a high sob from your throat. fuck… if only you knew just how much effect you had on him, especially with the spit dribbling by the corner of your lips until kyo can’t help but urge himself impossibly closer to your figure.

“suck,” the warmth of his breath sends a shiver down your spine, doing so while his tongue traces the shell of your ear, the wet muscle a contrast to the trail of saliva hitting the cold air. kyo would teasingly try to mimic the way you’re swirling your tongue around his fingers, pressing his lips flush against your neck before sucking just the way you like it.

THEO ┊ if you want to have giver!theo then… work for it.

would all start from the moment he accidentally stumbles upon your little toy stash the time he’d be looking for something else in your shared apartment. i just know the gears in his head would be turning once he’d laid his eyes on your filthy little secret, silently pacing back into the living room where you’re situated on the couch, unknowing of what’s to come before you.

“so did you find what you were… looking for…” your words trail off the second your eyes met the object taeyang’s clutching between his fingers, an object far too familiar for you and yet you wanted to keep it a secret from him for now, heart hammering in your chest.

…because you know just how much your boyfriend can be a menace, especially when he gets you reduced to an adorable mess from his control. your muddied thoughts aren’t helping the situation.

and that’s how he’s gotten everything into a quick blur, your head thrown back on the surface of the couch, pillows forgotten on the floor and everything, while the weight of his hand keeps your trembling legs spread. your vision’s turning hazy from the shuddering pleasure of your vibrator taeyang repeatedly buries into your wet cunt.

“should’ve hid them better then,”

he mumbles, staring back into your beady little eyes like he knows the exact words swimming inside your mind. and what if you wanted him to discover them anyway?

“keeping a stash of toys and using them by yourself seems like no fun, you know you could always ask for my help, right?” he’s mean, asking in a tantalizing tone while your mouth’s stuffed with your panties the whole time.

and when he does really focus on your pleasure, it’ll take a while before he decides to give it his all, settling on using your toys with the promise of only sinking his cock into your hole once he’s satisfied with the amount of orgasms he’s able to get out of you first.

JIUNG ┊ if he's got something to want to endlessly give you, then it would be pleasure. which comes in different forms of course, but in this case, you won’t even have to beg him for it, he’d probably be the one to plead you to use his cock all you want to get yourself off.

he knows how much it drives you insane, so naturally he knows how to work it.

always talks about how he needs to have you in positions where he can plow you into the mattress better, so i don’t think it would be that much of a shocker if one of his favorite positions during sex would be to fold you into a mating press.

especially once he’s gotten his plan to put a ring on your finger out of the way, jiung’s quick to spoil you like never before. not like he's not already treating you delicately to the point he doesn't even want your foot to touch the bare ground… if that’s even possible.

anyway, he’s always one to dream about a future with you, wanting to settle down and move into your own home where he could spend more happy memories with you and of course, fuck you good undisturbed. enough of quickies at the dorm or whatever, where there’s a high risk of getting caught by other people.

he’s one to value his privacy especially when he’s the type to take his time especially during the act.

only and if only he could put into words just how much he loves staring down at you when you're blissed out of your mind. he jogs back to his memories of your disheveled frame tearfully moaning out underneath him while he struggles to keep steady thrusts with the plush walls of your cunt engulfing his length, pulsing around him harshly whenever he hits that one spot.

"just like that..." he'd hear you whimper out with trembling lips, sneaking in a few gropes on your ass with a gentle kiss on your forehead. fuck, he’d wanna keep at it forever. especially when he gets to witness your gasp for air every time he sinks his cock back into your needy hole. and with the sight of his warm cum seeping down the sheets once he pulls out from the sticky mess you’d made, he’s long gone from being sane.

INTAK ┊ in usual settings, intak loves to make you feel like such a princess to the point all of your friends can’t help but gush about how lucky you are. intak's never ashamed to admit you got him wrapped around your finger, pressing soft kisses on the crook of your neck while he tells you how he’s literally brought to this world just to serve you.

"and i want to make it known to you just how much i want to pleasure you all i can," he says to you with that familiar croak in his voice, and it may sound cheesy in other scenarios. yet it sends a different surge through your core when your boyfriend's got you meekly spread out for him, sopping cunt drooling perfectly while his warm breath hovers on your trembling skin.

his doe eyes are a sight for comfort, not like it ever leaves you, never ashamed to run his gaze from your flushed face over your bare figure. clothes long gone to reveal your chest heaving up and down, until his gaze locks back onto your pulsing cunt, clit swollen and needy just for him.

if only you could read his mind, know just how starved he feels for your essence drooling from your hole, glistening just to heighten the building desire from his throbbing cock even though he's eaten you out far too much that he can count.

intak's a very passionate lover. he'd let you know so obviously from the way he laps up like you as if it's the first time he's going down on his girl, like you'd purposely let him hung dry for days. when in fact he'd beg to eat you out almost everyday if you could, finding it difficult to deny especially when he'd stare at you with his dopey little grin you came to adore.

[skeetlebeetle]

haha i hav 69 followers nice. N E WAY look. i meant 2 save this 4 after the apply fic came out (way 2 long xplanation under the cut) but im impatient n i j made all this cool art so i think u shuld see it

(DONT MAKE ME TAP THE SIGN!!! if yr gonna use my art [don’t repost] u gotta credit me!!)

so i shuld probably start w this: im rlly tired its 1:30 am n this will mostly b incoherent i think.

OK. 1 of the 1st social medias i evr got as a kid wuz wattpad. ive made n deleted so many accounts.. the memories r craz,,, n e way, its mostly behind me now but i still check back on the website sumtimez n i check my notifs or whatevz. n sum1 i followed a while back is doing an apply fic that is basically like 6 percy jackson ocs.

now heres the thing.. i dont actually rlly kno what an apply fic is. but based on the description n other oc entries in the comment section its a thing where u giv the writer yr character n then they write it into a fic. which is p cool!! n i do luv 2 make ocs.

heres the other thing: i dont hav n e percy jackson-esque ocs so i had 2 make sum. n where did my mind immediately go?? ace attorney ofc cuz thats my obsession. so i decided 2 make sum ocs based on ace attorney characters. they were gonna b reeeeeally obviously ace attorney @ 1st but i didnt want it 2 b super easy 2 figure out so i changed up their names n gave em different designs n stuff. but basically they all hav the same backstories n personalities other than all the god stuff

turns out tho that i rlly like making knock-off percy jackson/ace attorney ocs so i made em like supa separate from their original ace attorney source n now theyre j kind of their own oc guise. i rlly luv how theyre turning out actually

N E WAY all of this 2 provide context 4 me 2 say that i wanted 2 save these designs n this ace attorney xplanation bc it was kind of a silly lil harmless prank way of me being able 2 say i snuck ace attorney characters into a percy jackson-esque fanfic even tho i didnt rlly cuz, once again, these r basically my ocs now. also idk if n e of em will actually make it into the fic yet. n i didnt want the writer of the apply fic 2 stumble upon my carrd (which is, yes, linked in my wattpad) n accidentally find my tumblr n see this post n then like. idk. disqualify me. "but beetle u didnt hav 2 tell tumblr n e thing abt these ocs!!!" well sumtimez u j wanna post art dude!!

BUT WHATEVER MAN!!!! im paranoid n the writer finding my tumblr let alone reading n e of this is highly unlikely. even if they did they wuldnt fucking care. so heres sum ocs i came up w. n in case its not clear (which it probably isnt 4 at least 2 out of 4 of these designs/names), rich is gumshoe, jay is edgeworth, phoenix is phoenix (woaw), n spyridoula is maya

note that 'rich' n 'dick' r both nicknames 4 richard, jay's name is basically 'scales of justice' n also his dad died, phoenix is so lazy that his name is actually j 'phoenix,' n spyridoula is i think j named the word 4 'spirit' in greek. also shes a hippie

FINALLY: i think i got locked out of my old pinterest which was fine cuz i wasnt rlly using it n e more but 4 this apply fic i had 2 make either a moodboard or pinterest board 4 each character n y wuld i put in the effort of making a moodboard?? so heres my new pinterest which is j boards 4 these characters:

x

[liberolove]

Testing the Waters (pt. 2)

Summary: youve finally graduated high school and now youre moving on to college. youve decided to go to sendai university. its summer and youve become curious about checking out the dating pool in miyagi, so you download a dating app. you figure you might as well have fun before delving too deep into your studies

Part: [part two] out of ???

Pairings: nishinoya x reader / kuroo x reader / oikawa x reader / kiyoko x reader

A/N: theres tons of ships here, just me living out my hoe phase lmao please dont judge me. let me know what yall think

Genre: fluff, smut, crack

Warnings: flirting, college shinanigans

It’s been three days since the last time you saw Yuu. Gosh, even saying his name to yourself gave you goosebumps. You two have been texting non stop and honestly, it felt so refreshing. You were a pretty bad texter but he knew how to keep the conversation going. 

One of his favorite things to do was play 21 questions with you. He wasn’t like those fuckboys who would use this opportunity to ask you if you were a virgin or what your favorite position was. Yuu was different. He came up with the craziest scenarios and judged you on the way you answered. One time he asked you how you would escape a 300 lb lion that just broke out of the zoo you were visiting. You honestly had no idea how to respond but eventually you replied, 

“I’d make sure to run with a crowd and ‘accidentally’ trip a slow runner so that the lion could get distracted and probably (most likely) attack them. This would buy me some time to get the hell out there.”

This response caught Noya off guard but he loved the way you thought. You continued to come up with barbaric schemes to survive all the scenarios he would throw at you. He kept you guessing and that was what you liked so much about him. He was wild and so were you.

You were getting a little impatient over your next date so you took a deep breath and eventually asked him.

Y/N: Heeey, Yuu. I was wondering when you’d like to go out again. I’d really like to go out with you again.

Nishinoya Yuu: hey cutie! I’ve been wanting to see you again but I haven’t had any days off from work lately.. (; ･`д･´) IM DYING!! I just wanna see yoouuuuu

Y: Aw man.. :( That sucks. When do you think you’ll get your next day off?

N: idk tbh but hopefully it’s soon!!

Y: no worries, just let me know.

N: will do!!

Well, that was that. Now you wondered what you should do to pass the time. You were bored again and needed something to do. “Oh wait. I should check the app. I haven’t checked since I messaged Yuu on there. Maybe I have more matches.”

You opened up the app and you had 10 notifications. You had gotten some likes on the selfie you posted and several people viewed your profile. You checked who looked at your profile, and it was mostly ugly, older, men. “Gross,” you thought to yourself. Besides this, you noticed some new messages. 

You opened up the first message. 

“Hey sexy! Wanna come see me play? Click my link https://…..”

“Damn bots. So annoying.” You deleted the message. Next message:

“DTF?”

“I mean like yeah, but you could’ve been less forward in your message. What a turn off..” You had one last notification left. Maybe it wouldn’t be a let down.

“Are you made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon? 'Cause you are F-I-Ne.”

To be honest, this pick up line did make you giggle a little. You checked out the profile of the mysterious stranger who sent it and you were surprised that it was a bulked up biker. And damn, was he hot as hell. 

His hair stood up in an organized, weird bed head kind of way. It made him look like a rooster. Rather than smile in his photos, he smirked. And his eyes looked like he could undress you solely with his gaze. He looked like your typical bad boy, but that didn’t make sense. Why would he use a chemistry pick up line?

This made you become even more interested, so you replied back with another cheesy pick up line.

Y/N: I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.

Kuroo Tetsuro: Hey, kitten. I thought you’d never reply. You had me waiting.

Y: umm??? calling me kitten already?

K: What’s wrong? Are you flustered already? We haven’t even met up yet.

Y: woah there cowboy! hold your horses

K: I’m not a cowboy, but I’ll gladly have you ride me instead.

Y: skskskks i cant even-

K: Sorry. Too much?

Y: YES TOO MUCH

K: Alright. Let me start over. Ahh, a fellow chemist, I presume?

Y: yeaaah, kind of. I have a love/hate relationship with chemistry.

K: Is that so? Maybe I can help with that.

Y: oh really? how so?

K: I am a chemistry major after all. I go to Sendai. Do you go to school?

Y: uhhh i’m going to start there in the fall. I still haven’t decided what to major in, just yet.

K: Maybe you’ll end up being a chemistry major like me and I can give you private one on one lessons? 

Y: I highly doubt that, but nice try. 

K: Have you gotten a tour of the campus yet? Or are you waiting for freshman orientation?

Y: nah, I haven’t seen all of it yet. 

K: Would you like to?

Y: um sure! When are you free for my private tour? (:

K: How about tomorrow in the morning? Maybe around 9am? I can pick you up too if you’d like.

Y: Sounds good and no thanks. I’m not riding on that motorcycle! Looks scary :(

K: Don’t worry, kitten. I’ll drive safely and make sure nothing happens to you.

Y: there you go again.

K: Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. No, but really. I don’t mind picking you up. Have you ever been on a motorcycle before?

Y: nope

K: Then, let’s change that. Send me your address tomorrow morning. And get some rest.

Y: alrighty it’s a plan then!

K: No. It’s a date.

Y: sksksk omg

After that conversation, all you could think about was how the hell did you get into this mess? Motorcycles are dangerous, yet this rooster convinced you so easily to take a ride with him.. 

It was an understatement to say that you were nervous for tomorrow.

You set an alarm for 7 am the next day and went to bed.

Your alarm woke you up and you immediately remembered why you were awake so early. You rushed into the shower and once you were out, you spent 30 minutes deciding on what to wear. You opted for some black, ripped skinny jeans and a white v-neck t-shirt. 

At 8am on the dot, your phone’s notification bell went off. It was Kuroo.

“What’s your address, baby?”

You sent him the details and continued getting ready. You put on some light makeup and brushed your hair. You checked the time, and it was already 8:55 am. Then, your phone went off again.

“I’m outside.”

Your heart almost beat out of your chest. You grabbed your purse and put on some chapstick. You know, just in case..

You locked up your apartment and walked down the stairs. You were greeted by the biggest shit eating grin on the sexiest man you’d ever seen. You never went for the bad boys but college is a time for experimenting. 

“Hey, Y/N. You ready to ride? I brought an extra helmet for you.”

“Hi, Kuroo. And yeah, I guess,” your voice shook as you replied. You were really nervous but you tried to hide it.

“Don’t worry, baby. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll keep you safe.”

His words made you melt and you had just met him. The way he cooed at you and looked your way made you blush. You felt your cheeks get hotter by the second.

“Alright. Hop on and hold on to my waist. Hold on tight or else you’re gonna fly away when I take off. Okay?”

“..okay..” you managed to mutter. You were shaking but you put on the helmet he gave you and lifted up your leg to sit on the metal machine. You slowly hugged Kuroo from behind and held on as tight as you could. Your head was smashed right up against his large, broad back.

“Ready?” he asked.

“..yeah,” you squeaked.

Before you finished saying this, he had taken off like the devil was chasing him. If this was his meaning of safe driving, you didn’t want to find out his meaning of reckless driving.

The ride to Sendai University only took about 5 minutes, when realistically it would take 20 minutes by bus. You arrived and Kuroo teased, “are you going to let go, kitty?”

You hadn’t realized you were still gripping onto him for dear life. You released him from your hold and your hands still tingled from the amount of force you applied to his shirt. “Sorry!”

“No worries. Hey, look! I brought you here alive. Aren’t you glad?” he cackled. 

His laugh sounded like a dying hyena but it did sound a little cute at the same time. “Yeah. Thank goodness. Your driving is insane, dude.”

He showed you all over campus, from the administrative buildings to the gymnasium, to the fields. Sendai was a pretty big campus, and it made you glad that you had a personal guide to show you all the different buildings. 

After your little tour was over, he asked, “wanna grab a bite to eat? I’ll be a gentleman and pay for you too.”

Of course, you couldn’t say no to food. Much less, FREE FOOD! You nodded and got ready to ride the devil’s machinery again.

He took you to a nearby sushi bar. “Order whatever you’d like, princess. Today, I want to spoil you rotten.”

You melted at his words and also at the variety of rolls on the menu. You didn’t ask him if he really meant that you could order anything. You just kind of went for it. You ordered everything from shrimp tempura, to octopus, to eel. Sushi was your favorite and being told that you could order everything was a dream come true.

“Damn, girl! I had no idea you had such a huge appetite!  I didn’t know you’d take me seriously on my offer. You’re gonna run my pockets dry.”

You blushed and looked away. “Sorry, Kuroo. I really couldn’t help myself. I love sushi so much.”

“I’m just teasing you, baby. You deserve to be treated like this everyday.”

You had no idea how to respond so you just kept stuffing your face with sushi.

After you finally had your fill, it was time to go home. It was getting late. Kuroo took you home and you were definitely more relaxed this time on the bike. 

“I hope you had a great time today, kitty. And I hope I met your standards.”

“Yes, I did! Thank you so much, Kuroo! This was honestly so much fun. Thanks for everything.”

“Of course. Nothing but the best for you. I just need one little favor from you, baby.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“Can I get a kiss from your soft lips? I know you want to. I saw the way you kept staring at me, today.”

“Oh.. uhh.. Y-yea-yeah. Sure, of course.. Yeah,” you stammered. 

You looked at him with soft, shy eyes and before you knew it, he leaned in quickly and kissed you on the lips. Your eyes were wide open in surprise but as he deepened the kiss, your eyes slowly shut.

The kiss felt like electricity coursing through your body. You didn’t know what it was, but this man definitely already had you wrapped around his long, slender finger. 

As soon as you realized his hold on you, he backed off, and left you wanting more. He was such a tease.

“I can’t just let you have everything today, kitten. I need you wanting more.”

You didn’t know what to respond so you looked down at the ground shyly. 

“I’ll message you later, y/n. Don’t make me wait too long, again.”

You waved and muttered, “Thank you, Kuroo.”

He revved up his bike and was gone in seconds.

You remained in a daze as you walked back up to your apartment. Once you got inside, you plopped down on your couch and released a long sigh. “Who knew that college was going to be so exciting..”

[link to kuroo pic i found]

[clumsyclifford]

bella I would love a directors cut on literally any of the rilex you’ve written, but specifically it’s always her, and you, and me, or for these days you’ve been stuck in my brain 💙

OHHHHHH those are some CHOICESSSSSS lucy. fuck yeah. let’s get into it. ill link them both here but we’ll take em one at a time

it’s always her, and me, you

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

here’s a cut for convenience cos i KNOW i’m gonna go long here.

okay! let’s start with the rilisex fic.

it’s always her, and me, and you

so like it says in the ao3 notes, this fic came from realizing just how frequently rian and alex kiss each other like, all the time? just? casually? for funsies? this was another one of those situations like i mentioned where the hook aka first line (“Rian's no expert, but he doesn't think normal friends kiss this much.”) just appeared in my head and i was like heyyy that’s a GOOD first line. i have to build from that line. that’s the hook, that’s the summary, that’s the core. 

something i discovered upon searching through the editing history of the doc: i had originally sort of intended to go a direction with this where in some other circumstance, rian would see alex giving jack a super casual friendly kiss and he’d get all sad/jealous and be like sure why SHOULDNT alex kiss jack after all its just a thing he does with his FRIENDS. but the fic ended up going a different way and honestly? im glad. i like this way better.

the role of singin in the rain in this fic actually has a HILARIOUS backstory because the night i originally wrote that conversation in the tour bus kitchen, i went into the club and said the following

and then. the next day. rian streamed with ricky, and i asked if he’d ever seen singin in the rain, and he ANSWERED ME and said he hadn’t. so first of all i had already written the scene and i then had to rewrite it to make it so rian wouldn’t have seen it but also!!! i literally asked rian fucking dawson if he’d seen a movie for the sole reason of using that information for fanfiction!!!! and he provided me with the information i needed!!!! whole thing is just fucking hysterical to me. ANYWAY.

ANYWAY, the other reason why sitr has such a big role in the fic is because megs and i watched the movie together while i was in the middle of working on the fic, so it was extremely fresh in my mind. in fact i can probably show you this: i had this comment left for myself when i was kind of trying to figure out if i could make a real metaphor of sorts with the sitr ot3 and the Big Three of this fic. some of this ended up in rian’s wild musings in the hotel scene but i did conclude that it wouldn’t really have worked and that was definitely true but anyway. fuck it, director’s cut, here’s the kind of shit i leave for myself to refer to

so that’s part of the reason why it became such a puzzle piece of this fic, but real talk, it’s also just because i love singin in the rain it’s one of my favorite movies lmao

briefly gonna also touch on lisa and why she’s in this fic because i realize that rian/alex/lisa is an interesting approach to rilex! first of all, i love lisa. i love alex and lisa. and it occurred to me that there was really no reason to split lisex up just to make rilex happen. plus there’s this tweet that really just pushed me over the edge of being like yeah, rilisex is extremely plausible. so that’s that on that.

as for the scene in the hotel room while they’re watching sitr, there is a small piece of that scene - from when alex starts kissing rian’s shoulders etc to “it would defy the laws of nature not to” - that i actually wrote before anything else in that scene. that small piece got stretched out and edited quite a bit from how it started but it did function as a sort of foundation around which i built the rest of the scene, because that small section sort of ~came to me~ absolutely out of nowhere, and i really liked the Vibe it had and i wanted to include it. i THINK that was the only piece of this fic that i wrote Out Of Order - for the most part this was written chronologically.

ALSO!!! omg this is exciting, this fic actually has a deleted scene!!!!!! i hate cutting scenes but i also hate having scenes that are less than 1k and this one didn’t really contribute much to the fic. i can probably share it here right? sure why not ! hopefully you can read this. it originally took place after the scene where alex and rian call lisa for the first time. the question of “what gets left into interview videos and what gets cut” is also just interesting to me as a (fic) concept in general so...eyes emoji, but here’s my mini-exploration that i cut from the original fic. enjoy lol it’s silly <3

oh! also one more thing!! the very final scene was included for two reasons. the first reason being that when i write getting-together fics, i really prefer to add on a scene After they Get Together because i love to write domestic established relationship stuff and i think that’s a satisfying reward for a reader who’s just slogged through all the mutual pining and bullshit to get the characters together. but the OTHER reason is that i got an anon (here it is!) and i read that ask and was immediately like well shit. now i have to fucking include this. for the anon and for myself. so you can thank that anon for that last scene. (also i wanted to include merrikat especially since i had to cut their little moment in the interview scene above.)

so....................whew. i think i’ve bled that fic dry. holy shit that’s a lot of Stuff. OKAY! let’s move on.

~

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

so!!! THIS fic was the breakthrough after (what felt like) a long bout of writer’s block. long for me was maybe two weeks, but i am the kind of person who is always writing, and two weeks was a long time to go with little to no inspiration/motivation to write anything. i had also been in a weird narrative headspace because i’d been binge-watching disney shows (jessie > austin and ally > girl meets world) and i don’t know how well i can explain this but the way those shows are written is a lot snappier and cares way less for realistic and consistent character development or plots or relationships, and so i was stuck between caring a lot about including those things in my fics but also being unable to conceptualize them in writing because my brain was in Disney Writing Mode. does that make sense? this is rhetorical so let’s go with yes. so anyway. i was in a slump

actually what i ended up doing was basically googling something like “au prompts tumblr” or something and just scrolling through posts. i saw something about soulmate telepathy and i actually tried to write something totally different before i wrote this one, but the first attempt was a different concept and then the direction i took it was like......it wasn’t quite right and i realized that i was kind of writing dark disney style? there is really no way for me to explain what i mean by that because it seems really obvious to me but that’s just because i’m inside my own head so just take my word. 

anyway. attempt #1 of soulmate telepathy rilex went poorly, and this fic was attempt #2. i kinda took the soulmate telepathy thing and changed it as i saw fit and i also went back to skim helen’s telepathy fic because obviously she’s the pro and then i tried not to steal her ideas. and as i was writing it i kinda realized i was doing the whole quirky funny best friend character with jack and also doing the whole “somehow this not-very-dramatic situation with teenagers is treated as The Most Dramatic Thing Ever and that’s totally normal and nobody finds it strange” disney trope with rian and alex being soulmates and i was like (deep sigh) i have to accept that no matter how much i try to fight this, this fic is going to be tainted with disney. and that’s life

on top of that i will add that the real-life rilex were extremely inspiring during the two-day period during which i wrote this fic, because that was when the once in a lifetime video came out and in the brief pre-video livestream rilex were Beyond Married and that definitely helped in the writing of fic rilex!

hmmmm what can i tell you about this fic itself.................honestly, i don’t think there’s much to tell! rian is a band kid because in real life rian was a band kid and he’s staff manager at rita’s just like he was in real life. there is truthfully not a lot to unpack here that i can think of!

oh here’s something i guess: rian and alex go on a date in this fic! that is because watching So Much Disney made me realize that i often forget the fact that people just. go on dates. sometimes. look i clearly do not have an active romantic life but i also really liked the idea of alex and rian going on a date despite not knowing if they’d be soulmates or not and liking each other organically just by getting to know each other, rather than being victim to the whole soulmate thing. like i wanted them to build a connection so that they would want to be soulmates. and then the audience would want that for them too. stakes!! very important.

i can tell you i had a mild crisis over the title of the fic because i am not a fan of the word brain and i didnt wanna use that sticky lyric for the title when it had a word i hated but it was objectively a much better title option than the other one i had, which was “sticky just like the song in my head” but i obviously decided on the former and it has not upset me nearly as much as i expected it to so that was the right decision imo

so! i think that’s all on that! sorry (?) that it got so long although then again i don’t know what’s to be expected in a director’s cut for two long fics but thank you for asking me about these, i love them both so very much rilex is so supremely underrated but so very important

[aries-writingblog]

Atlas (4)

Summary: After years of being imprisoned on the Raft, Tony negotiates freedom for his sister Tessa. When she’s free- so is her past, and it will never stop hunting her.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC(Stark)

Chapter Word count: 1939

Warnings: PTSD (subtle ish), trauma, torture (in later parts), suicidal behaviors and thoughts, mentions of death, character death, injury, violence, angst, and a lil bit of fluff in there

Disclaimer: Atlas is my own, original work with characters belonging to Marvel (except Tessa and Dr. Clifton). Plagiarism is not cool kids.

A/N: this is my first work Im posting to this platform and I’m really excited and nervous about it. Hope you enjoy- constructive criticism is always helpful as well!!

Tony stared at the screen, wondering why he was God’s choice of boxing partners. He had been decoding the intel all night, only becoming increasingly concerned as the data rolled through. There was a surplus of data that encrypted with the title ‘Project Maelstrom’. From what he could tell, it was centered around Tessa. The head of the project was a Dr. J.R. Clifton- the one who was dicking around with things he didn’t understand and caused his baby sister a lot of pain.

What Project Maelstrom seemed to have as a goal was to create more of her. This time on purpose. There were samples of her blood that were torn apart. X rays and documents of medical visits labelled T. Stark. There was even detailed descriptions of the only two missions Tessa had been sent on before she was thrown in the Raft.

Tony would admit- he was curious, burning with the need to read every detail of why she was locked away. Tessa wouldn’t tell him. Ever. And the army never gave a clear reason, just that she was a danger and her whole squad had been killed on a mission. Nothing more, nothing less. When Tony threatened them with a lawsuit, he was told that Tessa would get the death penalty if it went to court. So, he had to play nice.

Instead, he called a meeting at the ass crack of dawn to decide how to play this. He was slightly wary of breaking the news to Tessa, as it was all based around her and her powers, but he figured if he had enough fire extinguishers on hand, everything would be fine. As long as she was contained on one floor. To one room. Maybe we should meet on the roof.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“So... what’s the move?” Tony asked, hesitantly. He was trying to gauge reactions around the room, mostly focused on Tessa. She seemed to lock down as soon as he mentioned the mission reports. She wasn’t surprised or fazed by much of the other intel.

Bucky had also instantly switched his attention from Tony to Tessa as it was brought up. She hadn’t spoken to him since the incident in her room- three days ago. She remained on her floor, although Wanda had convinced her to come down to eat with her, Steve and Vision every day at lunch. Wanda seemed to have that persuasion on her.

He noticed her clam up, keeping her eyes low while Steve began to form a plan, with the help of Natasha and Tony. Bruce was sifting through the medical records produced from the intel, gleaning information to research his own. He had been curious about Tessa’s enhancement but the woman wouldn’t let him near her with any medical or scientific equipment. So, he agreed to wait until she was ready for it.

“What about the mission reports, what do they say?” Steve asked, reaching for the papers. Tessa immediately leapt up, snatching the papers before he could reach them. She looked down at them, seemingly trying to confirm her suspicions before lighting them on fire, letting the ash fall at her feet. She swallowed harshly, meeting Steve’s shocked eyes.

“There’s nothing important in them.” She snapped, dropping the last of the papers. She turned to Tony, anger in her stance. “Did you make more copies of those?” He blinked and shook his head.

“There’s the original on the drive Wilson brought back.” He answered, already aware of what she would ask him to do next.

“Delete it.” She hissed, spinning on her heel and stomping out of the room. Tony nodded, even though she had already slammed the door shut.

“Anyone want to check on her?” Tony offered. There was a hesitance in the way Bucky stood up, pushing his chair back. Tony’s eyes narrowed and zeroed in on the hulking mass of a man. “Anyone else- cause, not to be petty but he’s already killed the rest of my family and I’d like to keep what I have left around for a while.”

Bucky’s expression didn’t alter but he felt the sting of the comment. Nevertheless, he sat back down, pulling his chair in, clasping his hands on the table and keeping his gaze on them.

“Tony...” Steve chided, anger and self righteous indignation in his tone. Tony rolled his eyes before turning back to the papers. None of them could refute the obvious. Everyone was aware of the obvious- the Winter Soldier responsible for the death of the Starks- and they were aware of Tony’s less than forgiving attitude toward the recovering soldier himself.

“Whatever- just let her go, maybe she’ll blow up the top floor and set fire to my belongings.” He responded, grumbling as he began the presentation again.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Days later, Tessa was still being temperamental. Bucky had not spoken to her, Tony had been locked out of her apartment. The only ones she let in were Sam and Wanda. Sam attempted to soothe her, trying to help her make sense of her head and emotions. Wanda ensured she was eating regularly and trying to help her make sense of her powers. She knew a thing or two about out of control enhancements.

Bucky had been upset, moping around his shared apartment mostly because he was unable to talk to the person he had feelings for. The one person who he felt actually wanted him around. Steve took notice after the umpteenth sigh and ensured him that he would try to set it up for him.

“What’s that supposed to mean, jackass?” Bucky’s nose scrunched up and a wrinkle presented itself on his forehead. Steve rolled his eyes and tossed his paper to the table.

“I mean, on the mission. I’ll make you two partners. Someone has to be responsible for her, a guardian when she’s on the field, and you two got... close.” Steve began folding towels, turning his back to his roommate. Bucky blinked twice before snorting. Steve turned back around to see him pouting. “Oh- what is it, you’ve been moping around for days now- what happened between you and Tessa that’s got your panties in a twist?”

“First off- what the fuck my guy?” Bucky’s hands flicked toward him before resting on the table he sat at. “And second, it’s none of your business.”

Steve almost called bullshit. He could see that Bucky was bursting at the seams, almost exploding with his problem. The guy was the best at sneaking around to find intel or perform his espionage but ask him about a girl he had a crush on and the man would spill like a can on a car. Steve knew just what to say to get him to talk- it would only take him asking once more and Bucky would spill his guts.

“Okay... all I’m saying is that you two were helping each other. The progress you made when you started hanging out was phenomenal- exponential almost.” Steve commented, nonchalantly and kept folding his towels. Only a few more seconds now and...

“She doesn’t sleep well.” Bucky started. Steve mentally congratulated himself on being able to manipulate Bucky into talking- the same way Bucky was able to manipulate Steve into doing his share of chores. “And so I’d see her in the kitchen at night when I couldn’t sleep and we started talking. Then she gave me her dog tags, because I said I never got mine back. And my heart exploded. Steve- I’d never thought I’d feel like this again. I just want to make her happy- I want to see her smile and I want to be around her- I want to talk to her.”

Steve knew the importance of the relationship when Bucky stressed that point. Bucky never went out of his way to join a conversation or even speak to someone. It always had to be initiated by the other party and even then it was one sided. Bucky hated talking to other people. So to actually want to talk to her... Steve felt that progress was being made.

“And then, after the mission... she let me touch her.” Bucky sat back in his chair, remembering how he held her tightly. Remembering how she latched to him, like her was her life line. In a way, he was in that moment. “She let me comfort her and hold her... then she fell asleep and had a nightmare and set my shirt on fire.” Steve’s eyes widened as he whirled around to face him. Bucky was quick to defend her. “It was an accident- she apologized but... I think it hit too close to home for her. She kicked me out and she hasn’t spoken to me in days. What am I supposed to do now? I’ve grown so close to her and now... she won’t even look my way. I thought she had the same feelings but, maybe I was just caught up in my emotions, remembering what it felt like to have feelings for a woman.”

“I don’t think it’s that, Buck.” Steve assured him. He’d seen the glances Tessa gave him. She’d greet him with a ‘good morning’ and already have his coffee mug down with coffee in it. “Maybe she’s just scared. She doesn’t have a good control over her powers and she set you on fire. She just needs time, you both need to be patient with the other. It’s not gonna be easy.”

“I know that... I just- I want to jump straight into this feeling but she’s holding back... and I don’t know how to help her.” Bucky muttered. Steve had seen this before- granted it wasn’t the same reason. It was when they were teenagers and a senior girl had been stringing Bucky along because he was the best looking in the sophomore class. Poor Bucky actually had feelings for the girl but she was just trying to prove a point to her friends. But he knew Tessa was holding back for a different reason. A selfless reason.

“Just try and understand her side. If she gives you the chance, explain how you feel.” Steve couldn’t believe that he was giving Bucky girl advice. It used to be so different went they were younger. “Maybe flowers- buy her flowers to show that you’re not pissed about catching fire.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Everyone suited up?" Tony asked, tossing his glasses onto the seat beside his iron man armor. Steve and Natasha were sitting in the pilot seats, switching buttons and levers, preparing for takeoff. Sam was doing last minute repair work on Redwing, while Bucky sat beside him trying to hold back on jamming his finger directly into Redwing’s circuit board- just to annoy Sam. Wanda and Vision were sitting together reading a book they had borrowed from Laura the last time they had visited Clint. Bruce decided to stay behind, as he usually did. Tessa was the last one on the jet, taking a seat in the far back, hooking herself in and just sitting quietly.

Everyone gave Tony a response- whether it be a grunt, nod, or a ‘fuck off, mom’ from several of the passengers. Tony spared a glance back to Tessa when he didn’t hear a response from her. She was wearing the design he’d made for her. Completely fire proof, black tactical pants with a long sleeved black spandex shirt and black combat boots. She wore a Kevlar vest over the top. She was also decked out in weapons- knives in her belt and boots, a hand gun on each hip and an AR- 15 sitting by her side. He’d wanted to go for the dramatic but Tessa practically cussed him out when she saw his first idea.

“Hey, kiddo.” Tony scooted in beside her, bumping hips as he buckled his harness in. Natasha had announced take off in two minutes so he settled in beside his loving sister for a pep talk. “How you feeling?”

“Did you read those reports?” Tessa questioned, forgoing formalities and small talk. Her dark eyes landed on his face, worry and irritation building up in her brows.

“No, I didn’t. I wanted to because you never talk about it but I didn’t.” Tony sighed as Tessa relaxed slightly into her seat. “I just want to be here for you and you don’t make that easy when you hide things from me.”

“If it makes you feel better I also lie to my therapist.” Tessa cocked her head to the side.

“Well that I can understand.” Tony scoffed, gently elbowing her. Tessa smiled, looking down at her fingers, playing with a string on her fingerless gloves. “I love you, you know that right?” She nodded. “Good. So, just keep your cool this mission, alright? Don’t be afraid of your powers. Don’t be afraid that you’re putting us in danger. We can handle ourselves. And you’re paired with Barnes so just... keep your head down and follow his orders- even though I’d personally like to jab his eyes out.”

“He’s a perfectly nice guy.” Tessa muttered quietly.

“That murdered your parents.” Tony pressured, trying his best to not throw himself into a tirade. “He’s responsible for so much death and destruction-“

“Well so am I...” Tessa shot a glance at Tony, shutting him up instantly. It was the first time she had ever admitted it to him. “He isn’t the only one here with blood on his hands- the whole team is morally grey when it comes to the lives saved and taken. Besides, he wasn’t in his right mind... he’s a good guy.”

Tony could see it- the light blush on her neck and ears. He felt a pit forming in his stomach- she wasn’t falling for the guy, was she? There was so much he didn’t know about his sister from the past six years. That made him feel even worse. She had gone through so much, too much for someone her age to deal with and she wouldn’t even talk about it. So why wouldn’t she fall in love with the first person that actually listened to her- that made time for her.

“Tell you what-“ Tony told her, unsnapping the buckles and standing up. “After this mission- we go to that pizza place you and your friends used to terrorize in high school. Just the two of us. Catch up on everything we’ve missed.” Tessa looked up, meeting his eyes. The dark brown eyes of Howard Stark, passed down to both of his children.

“Sounds nice, Tony.” She agreed. “Stopping for doughnuts on fifth?”

“As many as you want.”

“It’s a deal.”

[yellowmagicalgirl]

Fic Writer Tag Game

I was tagged by @eurazba​, @im-the-king-of-the-ocean​, and @rockymountainvixen​

Fandoms: I’ve written and published for (on ao3 and ffn at least)  Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir, Tai Chi Chasers/태극천자문, Sailor Moon, Puella Magi Madoka Magica/魔法少女まどか★マギカ, iZombie, Harry Potter, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Tales of Arcadia, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, RWBY, Utena, Enola Holmes Mysteries, Pretty Cure, and TAZ: Graduation.

Where you post: FFN and AO3

Most popular multi-chapter fic: On FFN it’s either Supplanter (top review and fave count) or D'un Chat Noir à Un Autre (top view and alert count). On AO3 it’s either Birds, Bees, and Blood Magic (top subscription, hit, and bookmark count) which I wrote with @tunafishprincess​, Supplanter again (top kudos count), or Once and Maybe Future (top comment count). Overall, I’d say Supplanter is my most popular across all sites.

Favorite story you’ve written so far: Hmm, I’d have to say either Destiny's Pawn, Every Ghost in Me, Juliet Dies in This, or Cast Away Your True Love's Kiss. They were certainly rather self-indulgent (I mean, one of them was also written for a tumblr prompt but I’m glad I actually wrote my weird AU instead of something more generic) and therefore in many ways fun to write. In addition, these are also accomplishments for me, being my four longest fics on AO3. (If you go to FFN you’ll see that Once and Maybe Future and With the Distance Amplified are stated as longer than Cast Away Your True Love's Kiss, but those are multichaps with authors’ notes in each chapter and thus the word count is changed. Plus the 3rd chapter of With the Distance Amplified is an apology and an outline.)

Fic you were nervous to post: the last scattered petals was definitely one since I was writing a whumptober fic that was very clearly tagged for character death and body horror for the PreCure fandom (while also mentioning that the fic was mildly inspired by PMMM) and I’ve received (now deleted) flames for that fic. People, do we need to bring back writing “Don’t Like Don’t Read No Flames XD” in our summaries 🙄

Similarly, I posted (the garrote killing me is made of your) heartstrings, Miracles and Magic Do Exist!, Who Run the World?, and With the Distance Amplified with trepidation bc of antis who disliked the ships I was writing for. Thankfully, I never received any hate for the ships of any of those fics, though someone did get mad that I used a phase along the lines of “this takes place a couple months after the Galra Keith reveal” even though the fic was written prior to season 2 making Galra Keith canon. However, this trepidation was one of the many things that caused me to never finish writing With the Distance Amplified.

How you choose your titles: I have a tendency to look up the lyrics of songs I like (and think fit the fic) and pick from the lyrics.

Do you outline: Sort of. I will bold and bracket brief descriptions of things that are supposed to happen in oneshots. I also outline multichaps that aren’t just oneshot collections, but they can look very different from each other.

The outlines to Juliet Dies/Survives In This are very much bullet points with sub-bullets because they’re 5+1/5 things fics. Here’s the entire outline for Juliet Dies in This ; the Juliet Survives in This outline is more detailed but I’m not posting it bc not only is it very dark it also contains a plot twist I refuse to spoil.

Here’s a snippet from the outline for my current longest fic, Destiny's Pawn. I made a copy of it for my own use and then wrote directly on the non-copy, deleting the bolded lines as I went. (The copy was made before Zoe’s name was known.) I used D and K at the beginning of the line to determine which POV was being used. I feel like this snippet also displays how much better I am at coming up with angst scenes than fluff scenes. I had concrete ideas for the angstier scenes, so I wrote a lot about them in the outline. Meanwhile, I was scrambling to figure out how to write cute romantic fluff scenes bc I had decided to leave that work for later in my outline.

Here is a snippet from a oneshot I’m writing, to show how I outline oneshots when I use Fighter’s Block for my writing

Here is a snippet from the outline for the Cagemates AU; I feel like this one is the most formal style of outline. Then again, it’s also gonna be rather long.

Complete: On AO3 86 bc I write a lot of oneshots. I am not going to go back and count all the complete works on FFN bc that’s a pain to sort.

In progress: Technically there’s a chapter of Once and Maybe Future that I’m working on and might just split into two chapters. Also, Juliet Survives in This, the oneshot I showed a snippet of, and a Secret Santa fic.

Coming soon/not yet started: The Cagemates AU is only an outline.

Do you accept prompts: If I reblog a meme asking for prompts then yes. Also, I guess I might take prompts if anyone were to ever actually send me asks but I can’t promise I will write them.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: Uhhhh honestly I’m excited to write most of them.

I’m tagging @tunafishprincess​, @stellarcat52​, @phoenixyfriend​​, @nebulousneko​, @infographicphenomenon​, and any other writer friends who haven’t been tagged yet. Your participation is optional.

[devourer--of--books]

Remember that one time I wrote a Tangled AU?

Context

During 2016, I submitted a few stories for Tagatha Ship Week. Not my best work, but some of my most known works nonetheless. Amongst those, I had a Tangled AU that was originally meant to be a one shot (which has been deleted because sweet lord that was bad), then turned into a draft for a multichapter story and then turned into this cursed WIP I completely forgot about, which you can find on both Ao3 and FF.net  under the name of ‘blinking in the starlight’.

Every once in a while someone comes across it, as it was the case with ‘if you’re not the bride’ and it would remind me of its existence. But unlike IYNTB, I have no interest in rewriting it or continuing this story. 

A few weeks ago I found the original draft for ‘blinking in the starlight’ in my dad’s old computer, so I thought I might do a post no one asked for (some people did, you guys are great, humoring me like that) on what the plot was supposed to be.

But after sitting with it I wasn’t fully satisfied (as usual, fml). So, like the clown that I am, I decided that since we are already here, might as well make it into an actual AU post, mind my language, I’m frustrated.

Blinking In The Starlight: Tangled AU

Okay, so I’m gonna presume that you read the WIP, so if you didn’t, maybe check that out first and then come back to this post. Or don’t, it’s not like it’s a very complex narrative anyway.

Many, many years before this story starts, there was a cruel sorcerer named Rafal.

He tormented the Endless Woods for centuries, extorting kingdoms and stuff, you know, very much a two-dimensional character whose motivations I definitely did not think through. Being evil I guess?

No one could defeat him, because he always somehow ended up knowing the traps were coming and was two steps ahead. No one knew how, so they just like, presumed it was because he was psychic or something.

Until one day, a young vain prince named Arthur of Camelot decides to order a hunt to the big blue falcons, to get their feathers as a present to the girl he was courting, one Lady Guinevere.

Would you believe those birds were Rafal’s spies? Now that everyone was hunting them, they could no longer listen in as easily.

So when Prince Arthur campaigns against Rafal’s evilness and challenges him to a duel in which he tricks the sorcerer and defeats him, stripping him of most his powers (and therefore his immortality), everyone was shook 

Don’t ask me how he did it, I honestly do not know

But instead of killing Rafal, Arthur agrees to spare his mortal life as long as he gives him a powerful love potion for Guinevere and never shows his face around Camelot ever again.

Rafal is pissed, but says sure why not, because he knew  Arthur would be crushed once the potion effects wore off and Guinevere left him anyway

So yeah, they became King and Queen, everyone thinks Rafal is dead, Camelot became known as the guardian kingdom of the Endless Woods alliance, yada yada.

Meanwhile, Rafal, now mortal and still pissed af, looks for a way to get his immortality back, because he is now old and tired all the time.He goes to one of his oldest allies and they tell him a rumor about a woman named Vanessa who found a way to stay young forever using a bird.

It takes a few years for him to track her down, but when he does, he tries to convince her to show him the bird. Vanessa is like that sounds like a you problem, so he threatens her and she tells him she ate it to save her life during her pregnancy (do not ask me how this works, why she couldn’t have healed herself like usual, I don’t know okay)

Rafal is pissed again, because Vanessa was still looking young, so either she lied or she was omitting something and decides you know what, screw you and murders everyone, trying to find the damned bird.

But then he hears soft singing from the closet. A little girl named Sophie, who apparently had inherited the bird’s ability to restore youth. 

First, he thinks of raising her as his daughter. But then, one day she’d try to leave him for a boy, so he decides to trick her into thinking he was that boy, so she’d never want to leave him.

He sells her this bullshit story about everything being a fairytale like the ones her books, makes himself look like a teenager and tells her he is now going to take care of her because they are true loves and whatnot

Using the money from his previous evilness (why am I like this), he builds a tower and gaslights the hell out of her telling her is was to keep the danger outside, when actually he was caging her in. Her guards are all mercenaries and her maids are kidnaped slaves so, hm, that’s nice

He keeps visiting her to restore his youth, but he needs the macguffin Arthur used to take away his immortality (I didn’t specify what it was in my draft, so let’s say its Excalibur, for the sake of storytelling) to restore his full greatness, so he starts a long-long-plan to overthrow Camelot once he gets him hands on the sword.

However, Sophie is a person of her own, even being manipulated and gaslighted. She wants to go outside and see the world. Obviously Rafal won’t let her, and even gives her a ring to summon him and stuff, so she won’t think about going anywhere out of his sight.

But she ends up doing it anyway because she’s Sophie

Now hold on a minute.

Back in Camelot, Arthur has already died, Guinevere ran off with Lancelot and Tedros is a brat, walking around with Excalibur (not knowing how powerful it actually is) playing glorified police officer for the royal guard as a way to prove he’ll be a good king someday.

Festival season is approaching and prince Teddy is on a man-hunt (woman-hunt?) for the thief that has been ambushing noble carriages.

They have some good banter, but the thief always manages to distract him and get away.

Guess who is the thief

It’s Agatha, leave me alone, I was 15 and loved cliches, shut up

Yes, I know I’m now almost 19 and still love cliches, moving on

Agatha is stealing money from the rich like a robin hood pro, because festival season is expensive and poor people need to eat okay

But prince-holier-than-thou keeps showing up so she decides to be petty and steal directly from him. Girl just wanted some gold, but ends up with Excalibur because Tedros is an idiot

So he chases her through the woods for days on end, hot on her trail, and Aric gets caught on the crossfire between them. Agatha presumes from his uniform that there is a castle near and decides to hide there.

Tagatha ends up in Sophie’s tower, and she hides Excalibur to bargain with them.

She strikes a deal with Tedros to show her the festival in exchange for Excalibur. 

Agatha is just f this shit im out, she didn’t want the sword in the first place and last thing she needs is going to Camelot with a pseudo-police-officer.

But then Tedros realizes he doesn't know how to go back to Camelot and Sophie makes him promise not to turn Agatha in. Agatha is still skeptical, so he promises to lift taxes for the lower classes and she agrees to be their unofficial guide back to Camelot.

Princes can't break promises, don’t ask

The three of them escape the tower. 

Shenanigans ensue.

There’s a scene of Agatha helping people in a tavern and Tedros is like???? she nice????

Sophie finding out that the old wizard from her story was the guy King Arthur supposedly killed and doubting Rafal’s lies.

There’s Tedros explaining his need to be just and abide by the laws all the time due to the pressure of his father’s rep after the three of them nearly die of hypothermia (?)

Sophie telling them about her talent.

Very wholesome really.

Meanwhile tho, Aric finally manages to alert Rafal that Sophie left, and Rafal summons his birds to look for her, figuring out that she had Excalibur (how? Idk)

When the trio reaches Camelot, it’s still a few days before the festival. Agatha says she is done and needs to be on her way, but Tedros (softly, may I add) asks her to stay, at least until the lantern scene/day/tradition/thingy

Their unspoken feelings are all over the place and Sophie decides to play matchmaker.

They stay in an inn (why did Tedros not sneak them into the castle, you ask? I don’t know, don’t ask) and Sophie makes the guy tell them there is only two rooms. She then makes up some balloney about wanting to be by herself, so Agatha and Tedros share a room.

Yeah, you know what I’m doing, don’t you: there’s only one bed.

Some other tropes for a very fluffy chapter equivalent of the score of Kingdom Dance, which is my favorite song in the Tangled Soundtrack, fight me, is such a good ‘falling in love montage’ song

But the fluff doesn’t last long, because the very night of the festival, just as you can almost hear Tagatha singing ‘and at last I see the light’, Rafal’s birds find Sophie and take off her ring by force.

Rafal crashes the festival, stealing Excalibur from Sophie and unleashing his coupe against Camelot, back to being immortal and super over-powered.

He throws Sophie back in her tower, and when she doesn't comply and asks him to stop we have a ‘I never loved you’ ‘you were always just a bird to me, a dumb bird’ moment and Sophie is just destroyed because aside from her new friends (whom she believed were dead) Rafal is all she has.

Back in Camelot, complete mayhem is being wrecked, bloodshed and stuff. Agatha manages to rescue Tedros before his execution and they figure out that they need to rescue Sophie and get Excalibur to kill Rafal for good.

“Insert part one of TLEA here”, bitch, I kid you not, that’s exactly what I wrote wtf even is this draft

Somehow it all leads into this big confrontation, in which Sophie strips Rafal of his immortality using the sword but can’t bring herself to kill him. So she asks Tedros to do it, so he can prove himself to his kingdom.

I do not know where Agatha is during this, but I’m pretty sure she’s like, fatally wounded or something

Rafal reveals to Tedros why Arthur spared his life the first time and offers him a potion to make Agatha return his (already mutual, you idiot) feelings. 

Tedros is like, nah, I’m gonna kill you, and Rafal is like are you sure she won’t just ride off and leave you like your mama?

And Tedros is just, honestly, man, I’m not, but I’m not gonna force her. Then some analogy about caging birds and Rafal is dead.

Yey, happy ending.

So Tedros and Agatha are left in this limbo, because she poor and she a criminal and he a prince. 

Tedros decides to have Agatha take the glory of killing Rafal to redeem her in the public eye, grants her a title, she makes Sophie her lady-in-waiting and they all live happily ever after the end.

[toziers]

can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts. 

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention. 

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable  with “notsfw” and “bill hader”. 

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs. 

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves. 

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over. 

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag. 

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti. 

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself. 

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog). 

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine. 

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts. 

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again. 

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content. 

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning. 

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves. 

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree). 

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen. 

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that 

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19. 

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in). 

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry. 

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has. 

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink. 

[loxxxlay]

Okay long rambling update for anyone who was concerned and for my own personal notes

First, I had to delete the post because I remembered I’m not supposed to tell anyone about my friend’s plans and I’m not sure who IRL follows me on here... (I don’t think it’s anyone who would know context, if anyone IRl at all, but... she’s my bestest friend so better to be safe). 

So in lieu of deleting the post, quickly want to say thank you to @midnight-mismanagement and @thelightofthingshopedfor for supporting me <3 i know it seems like just a little bit to send me hearts or a hug, but goddamn, whenever I’m in an episode like that, it’s a big part of what keeps me from walking two blocks over to the library and jumping off the roof lmao. So thank you T_T <3 <3 <3 i can’t say how much it means to me that you both care (and thank you to anyone who has ever comforted me at such a time)

Anyway now for update... I’m in Ritalin-Ramble-Hour so it’s gonna be longer than necessary.. but it’s mostly so I remember what happened when I go to therapy because I probably won’t remember any of this in 3 hours (especially because I’m super loopy on drugs for most of it)

So, I’m feeling a lot better! I took a fourth of a clonazepam pill and it took until now (maybe a couple hours) to work but I’m a lot calmer now. So calm that I was actuallly able to convince myself to take a ritalin half an hour ago. (For some reason, I was scared taking ritalin would just make the Emotional Bursting Chaos inside my brain worse. During the RSD/Panic ep, I wasn’t planning to take ritalin at all today, but with how calm I am now, I figured it was still early enough in the day to get away with it. (If I don’t take it, I’ll get tired too early and just scroll facebook all evening instead of do things.)

I did self harm a little :/ I tried really hard not to. I went to the bathroom and cried and half-screamed a little. I tried stabbing, ripping, and drawing my pen over the paper angrily, and nothing worked. :( I literally could not cope, even like 30 minutes after clonazepam. I was just dying and having repeated “kill yourself” or “kill your best friend” thoughts lmao, and they needed to stop. I am at work lol, I can’t have thoughts like that at work. So it was just 3 barely anything scratches from a staple on my arm. I’ve never done something to make myself bleed, but this time was even lighter than usual. (Maybe I should doublecheck that I’ve received a tetanus shot recently though.)

Then after that, I was more like... hopeful? My brain was actually trying to get out of the funk instead of just struggling to breathe. So my brain was like, “dude, there’s a song in frozen 2 that fits your feelings perfectly,” maybe that will help you channel this out and start “doing the next right thing” (or i.e. my next work task lmao). So I just listened to that song on repeat for a few minutes and then finally got myself to start working.

Zoned out in work for a while, hyperfocused. Still kinda was scatterbrained and disoriented, so it took me 5 times longer to do things than usual. But by the time I finished the next 2 tasks on my list, my clonazepam was working and I’m back here now.

Not happy. Very unhappy still. Very fragile and numb right now lmfao. I deactivated my facebook for 2 reasons: 1) so that I don’t forget about promise to secrecy and start vague posting all about it, surely ruining our friendship... and 2) so my RSD doesn’t make me start screaming hatred at my friend for things that aren’t her fault (RSD likes to trick me into thinking it’s her fault and blaming her :/ like “how could she do this to me” rhetoric). (and 3 because im an attention whore wondering if anyone on there will notice or care lmfao)

In general, I’m kinda angry at my friend. She offers to do things to help me through crap and then she changes her mind later for her own benefit... which is her right. She has to live in a way that makes her happy, and she doesn’t have to help me through anything. It’s more.. the flip-flopping. Like I wish she hadn’t offered in the first place, because now I just feel... really strung along and really betrayed... I don’t feel like I can trust her anymore? :/ Very upset about that. (fyi, she is sorry about hurting me like this btw. she’s not mean. just indecisive)

So yeah, I don’t wanna talk to her until I sort out what I really feel versus what RSD is telling me to feel :/ bleh :/ so I guess in a few days, we’ll decide whether she’s my best friend or not anymore

deep breaths.

Just gonna try to quit thinking about it for a while.

Sorry for rambling, I’ll delete this once I show my therapist in a few weeks.

[murfeelee]

I just want to speak my piece and voice my hopes & concerns about the ideas for a new Sims Networking site.

Disclaimer: Despite the length of this long effing post, I know absolutely nothing about creating a website, or hosting, servers, or anything like that.

In light of Tumblr’s clear and present determination to kill its own website, many ideas are being proposed about The Sims community starting its own website. This would be a safe haven for simmers, where we can all share our content without fear of overzealous censorship and nefarious politico-economic stunts and power-plays.

Having different simmers presenting different platforms and ideas about how to get a simming network started is great, and I support anyone who pitches an idea. I don’t care who figures it out, just as long as someone does, and it’s good. But at this critical point and time what the community really needs is to not be splintered -- that’s what the problem is: that when Tumblr internally combusts we’ll all mass exodus and go our separate ways (to LJ/DW, Twitter, Blogspot, WP, etc), and we won’t all be in one place anymore. :(

There’s nothing wrong with having multiple simming networks, and having a selection of simmers-only social media outlets, not at all. We do that already, with sites like TSR & MTS, etc, that embrace content from ALL the sims games (1-4, etc), but where different preferences/standards/visions naturally lead to different websites doing their own thing separately.

But I think it’s time we as a community had one main home.

IMO, ideally, it would be one that functions like Tumblr did -- just Better and More Positive. ;) It would not be moderated by admins like the other sims sites, and instead the site runners would be there strictly for site support and maintenance. We’ve been moderating the simblr side of Tumblr all these years pretty okay -- aside from the abuse/neglect of the Tags (which I hope we could come to a more unified system with on a new site).

The new site could have all the image uploading/storage and other features we enjoy (Follows, Reblogs, Likes, Comments, IM, etc) but possibly even with an additional forum aspect, with rich text text threads & private messaging, etc. Is that at all possible?

The forum half of the site could have moderators, if only to keep the threads organized, but there would be none of that censoring crap that gets users warned/banned over stupidness like language, adult content, or my personal favorite: filesharing (especially when cc users rely on WCIFs and reuploaders to share content from dead sites and creators who delete their content for one reason or another).

I’d also love to see a return of more community events:

more Simblreen-like photo prompts & challenges for other holidays & seasons

more creative contests (like the one recreating real movie posters as sims images to get featured as new cc)

more visibility for machinimas (those mofos work HARD)

the return of sims magazines for fashion & builders & whatnot

Age and Adult Content Restrictions

The Sims is a borderline Teen/Everyone/Mature-rated game. It’s got sex and violence and crude humor and weirdness that isn’t really suitable for little kids. It's at each parent’s discretion what their kids are exposed to, but most simmers are either in their teens or older (I haven’t come across any 7 year olds playing this crazy game, at least.) As such, I don’t feel this new site should be censoring/blocking adult content and nsfw. Let the tags do their jobs -- even implement a Safe Mode & parental controls if you have to.

When it comes to what the age restrictions are, can’t y’all just have a captcha or one of those buttons you click that says you’re 13+ or whatever the age needs to be? And there are pretty cool captchas out there, too -- we don’t need something as crazy as what Thaithesims had (for those of y’all who don’t know, it was freaking nuts, trust), but there are others that ask a simple math question, or makes you to click the picture of the vegetable, or some Where’s Waldo looking thing to find all the bicycles or whatever the heck. Y’all’ve seen them, I don’t know.

Again, I don’t even know what goes into making a website, and determining what it can & cant support -- or AFFORD.

And that brings me to Money:

While it’s so exciting and heartening to see different ideas coming out now, honestly, it’s not gonna work when all y’all are all asking for money and donations. That’ll have us scrambling to fund & invest in a million different people’s ideas, until someone gets a site working that we’ll actually use.

Of course we know money is THE issue, and of course websites are Expensive AF™. But it would be more realistic for all y'all to get a site up and running, have us use it and test it out, and once the community gives it our seal of approval, then start doing donation drives to keep the site/servers funded. That’s the way fan-made ad-free sites with adult content like Archive Of Our Own do it; I’ve been subscribed there for years, and they make $100k+ every drive, it’s amazing. Sites like Wikipedia & the Wayback Machine no doubt make more. (Didn’t SimFileShare fund itself to get started? They use ads, though, which might force adult content restrictions like what’s happening with Tumblr.)

I wish I had the disposable income to give to ANY of these fantastic websites that I know and love, just to show my appreciation, but I’m dirt poor, so.... But I just feel that it really shouldn’t be up to users to fund free websites, because that’s hardly better than having to pay for subscriptions to join paid sites. I don’t even like pay for CC, or DLC, or even video games at full price. So any bid for money makes me suck my teeth a bit, frankly speaking.

In Closing:

The Sims community deserves its own space, to freely express ourselves.

The Sims is unique from any other game ever made, because simmers create the stories, simmers create the content, and simmers create the gameplay -- it’s not a linear pre-determined storyline, but a more or less open-ended open-world mechanism by which the gamer decides (and can create) everything from the characters to the plots to the locations.

We’re not just posting pictures on the official forums of our customized Lara, Shepard, Geralt, Arthur Morgan or whoever beating a level or discovering a hidden location. No. We’re creating our own characters and worlds and directives, and sharing art through images, storytelling, and custom content. And we’re sharing a bit of ourselves in the process.

Tumblr used to be the one place we could rely on to embrace our individuality, freedom of speech, agency, expression, and be part of a community that supported us and our content. I don’t want the Sims community to be fractured, and certainly not die out. Y’all have been like family to me, for the 5 years I’ve been on Tumblr, and for almost a whole decade now in the online Sims community -- 2019 will make it 10 years (which is a lot, for an antisocial psychopath like me). If Tumblr fails us, I won’t know where else to go, and it really saddens me. The Sims is a Lifestyle.

So I really hope y’all movers and shakers out there who know about web development can come together, figure things out together, and create a Better, More Positive space for us to enjoy playing and sharing our love of The Sims games.

[moonprincess92]

you know i want all of the AUs!!! but especially that coffeeshop AU — with sprinkles of them becoming roommates and having to fake date for some mysterious reason. :D (but i‘d be happy with just the coffeeshop AU tbh.) but you know i love all of your AUs (stories in general) and love you! ���️

it’s no coffee shop au, but i managed to do the other two - anything for you, girl! (also on ao3) 

Jyn was literally already halfway to her parent’s house when she got themessages.

JynnjYYYNNNNNfuck my life apparently danielle is getting marriedFUCKFKJGIN MARRIEDPLS ANSWER THIS IS AN OFFICIAL CODE BLUE

She’d only glanced at them as she drove, but upon seeing the forebodingDanielle’s name she immediately pulled over to read them through properly.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

She hastily texted back,

AREU FUCKING KIDDING ME TELL ME UR KIDDING 

Only two cars whizzed on by before he replied,  

I am NOT kidding, she’s fuckingannounced it on fb????

In the next second, Jyn was furiously pulling up said Facebook, searchingfor Danielle’s profile. She was technically still friends with the woman, butonly so that she could retain the prime stalking privileges that being Facebookfriends provided. If she could, she would have blocked and deleted herMONTHS ago, but Cassian had begged her to keep her around ‘just in case, Idon’t know, so I can avoid her I guess’. It didn’t take much scrolling. Themost recent post of hers was an engagement announcement to some guy she hadliterally never even heard of, complete with professional photo spread andcurrently over a thousand likes.

Out of spite, Jyn angry-faced it.

JUSTCHECKED, MATE U WEREN”T KIDDING

OF COURSE IM NOT KIDDING

Areu drunk yet????

I’m certainly on my way

Jyn sighed, staring at her phone. She’d been planning on meeting up withher parents for dinner for months now. With her living several cities away andtheir ever-increasing schedules, it was always hard to find the time… but thisparticular crisis called for significant action. She quickly texted Cassian oncemore,

Areu at home??

I am currently on the couch of pain,yes

Don’tmove, I’ve just left work, I’ll be there soon

Before she could receive the expected ‘no, no, you go see your familylike you planned don’t worry about me’ messages, she quickly called herparents.

“Hello?”

“Mama? It’s me,” Jyn said. “Look, I know we’ve had to reschedule thisdinner like three times now, and I’m so sorry, but I won’t be able to make ittonight either.”

“What’s going on this time?” Lyra Erso sighed. 

“Cassian’s ex-fiancée has just announced that she’s engaged again.”

“Oh, shit,” Lyra said at once, any trace of disappointment instantly gone. “Seriously, Danielle?”

“You understand the gravity of the situation.”

“I thought they’d only just broken up?”                

“It was four months ago,” Jyn admitted. “But four months to get over athree year relationship, find someone else, fall in love, AND get engagedagain? Fuck her!”

“Jyn, go home, seriously,” Lyra insisted. “Make sure that boydoesn’t drown himself in the bathtub or something.”

“I think drowning in alcohol is more likely – thanks Mama,” Jyn said inrelief. “Can you explain to Papa?”

“Of course – OI, GALEN!” Lyra’s booming voice suddenly screeched down the other end of theline. “CASSIAN’S EX GOT ENGAGED AGAIN!”

“The girl who dumped him two weeksbefore the wedding? How dare she!”

“I KNOW RIGHT?”

Jyn figured to hang up then. It didn’t take long for her to hang a quicku-turn and swing back in the direction she had come from, but it was longenough to notice the ten or so new messages that had apparently been sentto her as she’d spoken to her parents.

“Don’t even start,” she said upon storming straight into theirapartment. “I was coming back no matter what you said, this is a Code Blue forsure.”

“Did I even use the right one? Which one was Code Blue again?” Cassiansaid in resignation. He didn’t even bother getting up from the sofa, where hewas currently laid splayed out with a half-empty bottle of wine sitting on thecoffee table next to him.

“Code Blue is ‘emotionally my life has gone balls up and I need you’,”Jyn reminded him. “Code Red is ‘I fucked up and need immediate assistance’. Wesave Code Black for ‘I’M DYING’.”

“I don’t know, I think this could be a Code Black as well, Jyn.”

“You’re not dying yet,” she snorted, snagging the wine as she sat downon the other end of the sofa, lifting Cassian’s legs out of the way anddropping them back into her lap. She peered at the bottle in her hand andasked, “Could you have bought a cheaper bottle of wine?”

“I wasn’t spending any more on her.”

“Fair point,” Jyn threw some back. Cassian gestured for her to pass itbetween them, but she shook her head before hastily drinking more. “No, no, Iclearly have to catch up here.”

“I’m not THAT drunk.”

“Try and get off this sofa.”

He glared at her for several moments.

“Case in point.”

Cassian groaned, flinging an arm over his eyes. “Honestly, how did I endup here?” he said and Jyn felt for him, she really did. When you knew someonefor nearly 10 years, you saw a lot of heartbreaks and aches. From when they’dfirst met as awkward 18-year-old’s, to now in their late twenties and honestlyjust trying to Adult without dying, the two of them had been there throughevery single disastrous relationship they’d ever had. She’d been therebefore, during and after the Danielle fiasco, and he’d been right at her sideas she’d slashed the tyres of every ex who’d ever cheated on her (tugging onher arm and practically begging that they leave before they get caught, but he’dstill never let her do it alone). There was little that they hadn’t donetogether, or that they wouldn’t do for each other, to be honest. She rubbed hisshin where it lay over her said,

“It’s gonna be ok.”

“IS IT?” Cassian pressed his fingers hard over his eyes. “I appreciatethe support but Jyn, she’s engaged. Three years apparently wasn’t even enough time to want to marry me,but four months and she’s more than happy to say yes to some other bastard? Whothe hell even IS that guy?”

“Cassian, we’ve established that Danielle is a flighty bitch who can’tdecide what she wants and you’re better off without her,” Jyn sighed. “Do Ireally have to beat it into your head again?”

“Probably.”

She leaned over and whacked him affectionately. Thing was, the nightDanielle had called off the wedding was still a very vivid memory, even allthese months later. Literally two weeks before the day, and he had turned upoutside her door out of the blue at one am. He had only been living in his newapartment with his fiancée for three weeks at that point and her first reactionhad been to think welp, SOMEONE’Sdead. Instead, he’d looked at her with an expression that she couldn’t readand had told her simply,

“Danielle left me.”

“… fuck,” she’d said in reply.

And she really hadn’t known what else to say, because what the hell elseCOULD you say? Cassian had been so dedicated, so ready to be married, so deeplyin love that the idea that Danielle had just casually told him one night, “Hey,so I don’t really think I’m ready for marriage, sorry this didn’t work out,”seemed unfathomable.

Jyn had held out her arms and Cassian had immediately walked into them.

“Can I move back in with you?” he had sobbed into her neck.

“Of course,” she’d said back.

“ANYWAY,” she said now. “I might make more jokes and hit you some more,but I’m honestly sorry, Cassian. This sucks.”

“Yeah,” he muttered through his hands.

“You can cry, I won’t judge,” she smirked.

“Fuck you,” Cassian was already attempting to smoother the tears that wereleaking through and she damn well knew it. “Honestly, this is just mostlyembarrassing. Everyone knows that we were engaged only four months ago, and sheapparently wasn’t ready for marriage then but she’s suddenly ready NOW? WHY,JYN? FUCKING WHY.”  

“Hey, only a handful of people know that’s why she left,” Jyn pointedout. “If anything, everyone will be judging her for getting engaged again soquickly! That help at all?”

“A little. But I haven’t even told you the worst part yet.”

“Christ on a bike, there’s a worse part?”

“Brace yourself,” Cassian took a moment to apparently pull up somethingon his phone. In the next, he was handing her the device apparently showing atext conversation between himself and someone with the name ‘DO NOTENGAGE’. 

Hey, Cassian idk if you’ve seen, butI’m getting married!! I’dlove for you to be there, of course it’s a little whirlwind hahaso we haven’t had time to send out official invites but it’s onsat 5th Aug in southlake tahoe. PLS come, I’d love to see youagain!!!! Xxxalso feel totally free to bring a plus 1 ;)  

Jyn was honestly kind of in awe.

“Say the word,” she declared, staring at the offending message. “I swearto god, just say the word and I will fucking END her.”

“I’m not quite at that point, but I’ll let you know if I change mymind.”

“You’re not going. I cannot BELIEVE she had the guts to inviteyou!”

“About that…” Cassian cringed.

Oh, motherfucking shitballs.

“You already said you’d go, didn’t you?”

“Well, if I don’t go I look petty and clearly not over her!” Cassianhastily defended himself, snatching his phone back off her before she couldread his no doubt ‘omg I’d love to!!’ messages (not to mention promptly hurlinga fist into his head as well). “So I said yes out of spite, only now I thinkI’ve backed myself into a corner. I can’t go, but I can’t not go either.” 

“Christ on a bike, Cassian." 

"I know." 

“Well, if you think you’re going alone, you got another thing coming,”Jyn pointed out, grabbing the wine. Blimey, even she needed it now. “You’reshowing this bitch one way or another that she doesn’t have a hold on youanymore.”

“I appreciate your furiousness on my behalf,” Cassian said. “but believeme when I say I am in absolutely no headspace right now to go out and find adate.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I get you,” Jyn said. “Good thing this isn’t just awedding anymore, this is a fucking war. You can’t just take anyone, you need to take someone that is going tomake a statement. Someone that people will talk about for MONTHS after. Youneed to take the one person in the entire world that would piss her off themost.”

“So… you?”

She started a little.

She hadn’t actually been thinking of herself, but now that he mentionedit, it was suddenly the perfect plan. Danielle had quite famously never exactlytrusted the over-half-a-decade of friendship between her and Cassian, despiteJyn having attempted to date several other people over the last three years andCassian being the most devoted boyfriend she thought she’d ever seen. Herand Danielle had always played nice of course and there had even beenmoments when Jyn had managed to bring herself to maybe kind of like her, butthere had always been an undertone to their every interaction that just made itclear that at the end of the day, Danielle Livesay hated Jyn Erso’s guts andprobably always would.

There was no one else Cassian could possibly take that would annoy hermore.

“Yes, me,” Jyn said. “I’m serious, you take me as your date and Daniellewill flip her fucking LID, it will be perfect!”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that–”

“Good thing you’re not asking then,” Jyn declared. “I’m insisting andit’s decided. You got yourself a fake girlfriend! For the record, I’ll cuddleyou and give you a few kisses if she’s looking in our direction, but no tonguestuff ok?”  

Cassian just shook his head, trying not to laugh.

“You’re the fucking best, Jyn.”

“Of course I am. Now drink more wine, this is gonna be a longnight.” 

Of course the wedding was in fucking Lake Tahoe.

Last minute AND destination, Danielle was basically guaranteeing thatthe only people who would come were either only interested in a weekend away orwere the only ones who had no plans. Cassian’s jaw had been clenched basicallyever since they had left their apartment Friday afternoon, but steadily gotworse the closer they got to stepping inside the hotel for the ceremony.

“What do I say to her, whatdo I say–” he hissed frantically under his breath as they approached the nodoubt bloody expensive hotel. She insisted that he chill the fuck out, onlythat resulted in him shutting up and staying deathly silent instead.

"God, you’re not making this easy, mate,” she pointed out.“I think I liked it better when you were talking, I could at least tell ifyou were still alive or not.”

He just let out a strangled squeak. 

“Hey,” she said,reaching out and gripping his hand tightly, their fingers interwoven together.She brought them to her chest, holding him there and making him look at her.“Cassian, I get that this hurts but don’t make it about that. You can hurttomorrow, make tonight about revenge. Hold onto that feeling instead. We’llmake out in front of her a little, and then go and get smashed at the bar.Deal?” 

He nodded faintly. 

They were purposefully a little late to the ceremony, just to furtherprove the point that they didn’t actually give a fuck. They were quicklyushered in amidst some irritated looks from Danielle’s family. Jyn did noticethat only one of Danielle’s three sisters had apparently bothered to show up,and yet it seemed that nearly everyone from her office had taken the trip justto take advantage of the open bar later. They took up an entire row, lookingbored and passing a hip flask subtly between them.

Danielle naturally looked fucking stunning in her dress, and Jyn wassuddenly very glad that Cassian had insisted on tradition and not seeing itbefore their own wedding because turns out she was literally wearingthe exact same dress. Out of all the things to piss her off, Jyn had honestlythought it would be something more extreme, but nope. Apparently, a dress didit! That fucking dress, the one that had to be altered three times,that Jyn had helped her pick out, had reassured over manycomplimentary glasses of champagne that she looked beautiful in and thatCassian would love it, only to just turn around and use it to marry someoneelse instead… fuck her. Her husband-to-be looked kind of in shock, honestly, like hedidn’t quite know what he was doing up there in front of all these people.

Really, she knew the feeling.

Luckily, their strategic lateness meant that they had missed half theceremony, so they didn’t have to sit through too much of the gushing ‘I loveyou’s. They only caught the tail end of it, Danielle tearing up as she spokeher vows.

“Oh my god, I’m going to ruin my make-up,” she said, gaining some politelaughs. “Oh, Derek. Honestly, I don’t even know how to finish this. I thought Iknew what love was before we met, but turns out I had no idea. I am so, solucky that I found you and get to spend the rest of my life with you. I loveyou.”

Jyn glanced over at Cassian briefly as the vows wrapped up.

She had never seen the man go white before, but he was white as a sheetnow.

“I’m so glad that’s over,” he ended up grumbling through champagne onlya little while later. Thankfully, the reception was in full swing and honestly,it was almost worth all the emotional pain this weekend was so far causing justfor the sheer elaborance of it all. The dinner had been fucking amazing, and the vinyl windows had all beenrolled up to expose the ballroom to the open air and natural lakeside view.Lanterns criss-crossed the ceiling and with a DJ pounding out cheesy pop dancesongs, it was easy to get lost in a sea of alcohol and forget the whole‘getting married four months after getting dumped’ thing.

“I’m still pissed that she hasn’t even come over to talk to you yet,”Jyn pointed out. “What kind of fucking host doesn’t even talk to all theirguests? It should be easy, there’s only about thirty of them who even botheredto come!”

“Honestly, I’m fine with it.”

“Honestly, I’m not,” Jyn said. “I wanna show that bitch a piece of mymind.”

“God stop talking, stoptalking, I think she’s watching us,” Cassian suddenly panicked, spluttering onhis drink as he hastily turned around. “You’re jinxing it!”

“She’s looking?”

“From the high table, I accidentally caught her eye!”

“Perfect,” Jyn reached out and wrapped her arms around Cassian’s waist.He didn’t raise an eyebrow, however, until she started running her hands up anddown his back, clearly something she didn’t usually do when hugging him andalso obviously in Danielle’s line of sight.

“Jyn…” he sighed.

“Come on! Is this not why you brought me?”

“I’m starting to re-think the idea, to be honest, she’s going to knowit’s not real, that I’m just a hopeless loser who brought his roommate as adate to his ex’s wedding–”

“Shut up, that’s just her getting into your head,” Jyn insisted. “Workwith me, here.”

Cassian sighed… before leaning forward and pressing his nose into herneck. “That’s it,” she grinned. It wasn’t quite the statement she was goingfor, but it would work for now at least. From this angle, it would look like hewas kissing her exposed neck and shoulder, and she purposefully turned ever soslightly so that her face could be seen from the high table.

Sure enough.

“Oh my god, she’s coming over.”

“Shit–” Cassian nearlyspilled champagne down her back.

“Don’t stop kissing me!”

“I’m not kissing you, remember–”

“Well, maybe you should be, because we got about twenty seconds beforeshe’s here–”

He cut her off with a sudden kiss that was just on the side ofdesperate, but she didn’t care. Honestly, she’d had worse kisses before andwith worse people. She didn’t even have long to make a spectacle of it sincebarely a second later Danielle was upon them, calling out and forcing themapart.

“Cassian! Jyn! Shit, guys, thank you so much for coming!”

“Oh, Dani,” Jyn said, cheerfully. “It’s no problem.”

“The journey wasn’t too bad?”

“Nah, we road tripped it,” Jyn carried on talking, seeing as it seemedthat Cassian had been deemed temporarily speechless. As well as she knew herbest friend… really, she didn’t know at all what he was currently thinking.Hell, she wasn’t even sure if he was even out of love with Danielle yet. Like,properly and everything. He was clearly not over her, as anyone rightfullywould be, but the man had been in love with her for three goddamn years. Thatwasn’t something you could just turn off overnight.

(Jyn knew. She had tried once.) 

So she kept an arm slung around Cassian’s waist and chatted away aboutmostly meaningless things for a while until he could get his bearings (and histongue) back. Eventually, he managed to cut in over the conversation with arather strained and out of the blue,

“You – great! The ceremony was great!”

Danielle blinked a little, but otherwise carried on like normal. “Thanksso much,” she smiled daintily. “Hey, honestly it’s just good to see you guysagain! It’s been too long and apparently,” Jyn noticed her gaze harden just slightly around the edges. “I’vemissed a lot.”

“I s’pose there is a lot to catch up on,” Jyn noted. “Bodhi says hi, bythe way, and Kay says you can go something anatomically impossible.”

“Oh, Kay. He never gets old,” Danielle blatantly lied. “Not that I don’tLOVE your friends, but I was actually talking about you two! Like holy fuck,when did it become a thing? It’s so exciting!”

Her tone made it clear that it was not something to be excited about atall, but Jyn feigned the same enthusiasm anyway.

“Oh, it’s pretty recent,” she glanced at Cassian for help confirmingtheir made up story. They had spent their eight hour car journey here creatingit and honestly, it she had thought it worthy of an Oscar or two at one pointbefore they’d forced themselves to tone it down a bit.

“Hold up, hold up,” she had said somewhere around Yosemite NationalPark. “The key to a good lie is simplicity. The more dramatic, the more detailsyou have to remember, the less believable it becomes. You’re a decent bloke,but not even Danielle is going to buy that you surprised me with a weekend awayto Paris.”

“But I was going to photoshop us some photos and everything,” Cassianhad mock-complained.

“Maybe we save that story for when Danielle ultimately invites us to herthird baby shower,” Jyn rolled her eyes. “Let’s just go with the ‘we hooked upwhile watching a movie one night’ story.”

“But that one’s boring.”

“Are you kidding? It’s not boring at all,” she had insisted. “If anything,it’s the most romantic shit I’ve ever heard! I mean it’s two best friends andflatmates who have known each other for years taking a chance one night andhaving it pay off, like this is fucking romcom gold.”

“Ok, fine,” Cassian hadrelented.

She might have also thought of pitching the entire thing to Hollywood,but that wasn’t the point to be focusing on here. Danielle was still standingin front of her, impatiently waiting to hear some epic-worthy tale that couldpotentially rival her own and considering the expression that was currently onCassian’s face, Jyn knew that she was gonna have to be the one to tellit. She could practically see the man internally spiralling.

“So it just happened then, huh?” Danielle said through a strained smile.

“Yeah, one night we were watching a movie together,” Jyn quickly threwback. “Just something dumb, but it got us thinking and it was like… I don’tknow. A switch getting flicked somewhere. Next thing we knew, we were athing and we basically never looked back.”

She glanced up at Cassian. She was a little thrown to realise that hewas no longer staring at Danielle in utter distress, but now watching her. Shewasn’t ridiculous enough to insist that the story wasn’t a nice one to thinkabout – was there really anything more ideal than falling for someone youalready knew so well? Someone that you didn’t have to worry about annoying ormaking a good impression with, because they had already seen you at your 4amworst and didn’t care? – but imagining pretend scenarios wasn’t exactly goingto get you far in life. How bad would it be if she let herself indulge for aweekend? No matter how unhealthy it probably was, she wanted to pretend atleast for a little while that she had her life sorted.

(A part of her hoped that Cassian might be willing to pretend a bitlonger too).  

“You know, I knew it,” Danielle hastily cut in. “I don’t know how, but Ialways knew it was you two! OMG, you’re like a movie or something!”

“You know, we had that exact same conversation on our way here,” Jynsaid, pulling back to give Cassian a pointed look.

“Well then,” Danielle’s smile was definitely edging into painfulterritory now, but that was what Jyn was hoping for. “I guess I’ll, erm–”

Jyn didn’t let her answer. She reached up and threaded a hand intoCassian’s hair, ignoring Danielle completely as she hauled him into her body.Danielle’s words died off immediately as Jyn kissed him with edge, with armswrapping around his neck and with that kind of energy that suggested that theywere only minutes away from pushing each other up against the gifts table.Honestly, she forgot the wedding, the people and the ex-girlfriend for amoment. All she knew was the inside of Cassian’s mouth and the things itwas doing to her.

Danielle hovered awkwardly for the entire five minutes it took her tofinally realise that they weren’t surfacing anytime soon.

“Well, see you guys around then!” she eventually trilled.

“–oh fucking lord,” Cassian gasped, pulling away once she was out of theirline of sight. “Oh fucking LORD, we just did that. She just did that. Am Idead?”

“Not yet.”

“I thought you said no tongue?”

“I don’t bloody know, ok?” Jyn said exasperatedly. “By the time Irealised, I had already committed. Kill me all right?”

“Nah, nah, I mean,” Cassian coughed, avoiding her eye. “the tongue wasgood.”

Honestly, a part of her wanted to simply laugh back the tongue was good? but something shot through her at his words. Maybe it was theawkward way he said them, maybe it was the fact that she could still feel himagainst her mouth, but either way something choked her throat and settled inher chest. When she looked up at him she felt her face growing hot.

Blimey.

“Jesus Christ, this was an insane idea,” he added, hastily.

“Well, we can’t go back now,” Jyn said, shaking her head. “C’mon, mate.Let’s go dance.”

(An hour later, she was still ignoring whatever it was that was in herchest).

Neither of them claimed to be good dancers, but the open bar surehelped. “Honestly, the drunker we get the better,” Jyn had added at one point,seeing as every good wedding had to be ruined by at least someone who got toodrunk to function and eventually rounded off the night with throwing up into anewly gifted vase. Traditionally, the more she and Cassian drank, the more theyembarrassed themselves and the equation only got higher when you added the twoof them together.

It was the perfect combination, really.

“CAN YOU PLAY WEIRD AL’S AMISH PARADISE?” she had screamed at the DJ atone point. “THAT’S THE SONG WE FIRST HAD SEX TO!”

“IT WAS?” Cassian had yelled back.

“JUST GO WITH IT, BABE.”

And so the last hour had resulted in many, many dances to increasinglywedding-inappropriate songs that had the guests roaring with laughter andDanielle no doubt fuming at. Jyn’s memory admittedly got a little fuzzy aroundthe fifth (or maybe sixth?) champagne, but she certainly did remember wrappingherself around Cassian and sloppily making out on the dance floor to the sultrytunes of Big Sean’s ‘I don’t fuck withyou’.

Somewhere between the sixth and seventh drinks, they discovered thephoto booth in the foyer, complete with little basket of novelty props. A largecanvas was mounted on the wall next to it, currently half full with photostrips of varying wedding guests wearing miniature hats and sunglasses. ‘Please help us make our night memorable!’ a small note read above it and Cassian had gotten the idea thistime.

“I’m going to hell for this… but Jyn, would you please make out with mein the photo booth?”

“It’d be my fucking pleasure,” she had declared.

She was still laughing about it afterwards. Their photos they hadpurposefully posted right in the middle of the canvas, complete with thescrawled message of ‘thnx 4 inviting us!’. She had lost Cassian however during a trip to the bathroom, and shetried to not make it too obvious that she was staggering back into the hall,clinging onto the nearest table to stay upright. He wasn’t waiting where shehad left him, and couldn’t see him anywhere near the dance floor. For a moment,she panicked that he had somehow tracked Danielle down somewhere and was busybegging for her back, but no, Danielle was accounted for, currently making therounds and chatting to all of her guests. She caught her eye and Jyn mock wavedwith a grin, only to turn it into a curse when the woman apparently took it asher cue to come over.

“Fucking Jesus, Dani, I’m not drunk enough for this–” she whined.

Danielle stomped to a halt in front of her. The charade was gone. Allpleasantries left at the door. This was the bitch underneath the smiles and shewas apparently not humouring her anymore.

“What is your problem?” she snapped. “Why are you intent on ruining mywedding?”

“Hey, you fuckin’ invited me.”

“I invited Cassian,” she reiterated. “If I’d known he’d be bringing you, I wouldn’t havebothered.”

“Why did you bother, though?” Jyn tried very hard to keep track of theconversation. It was difficult when one could barely stand upright. “I mean,you broke his fucking heart, wasn’t that enough? Did you really have to stompall over it, too? Who the fuck even does that?”

“Oh, like you have literally ANY idea–”

“I see you didn’t answer the question–”

“I never meant to hurt him,” she suddenly bit out. “It wasn’t as if I wanted to cancel my own wedding twoweeks before! No one wants to fucking do that, but I was getting married forall the wrong reasons. Sure, it might’ve helped if I figured out howimmature and insecure I was being a bit earlier, but sorry that I’m a dumbass bitch whotook my sweet time, ok?” 

Jyn just stared at Danielle. It really wasn’t the story she had beenexpecting, but maybe it should have been. At the end of the day, Daniellewasn’t a bad person. She was certainly an annoying person, a self-centred andmanipulative person, but never bad. There was a woman in there that Cassian Andor had managed to fall inlove with after all, one that she had reluctantly called a friend. She wasstill in there.

That was good enough for her.

“Ok,” she said, simply.

Danielle nodded before taking the champagne glass out of Jyn’s hands anddraining it herself. “I am happy for you guys, by the way,” she insisted.

“You don’t have to–”

“Nah, it’s fine,” she gave a strained smile. “Honestly, maybe anotherreason I left breaking it off so late is because a part of me was secretlyhoping he would do it first.”

“Why in the hell would he have done that?”

“Because of you,” Danielle shrugged.

She found him outside.

Sat on the steps that led from the ballroom out onto the rolling lawnsof the hotel grounds, his back was only a silhouette but she knew it was him.She clung to the handrail until she could throw herself down beside him,nudging his shoulder lightly. “Hey,” she said. “you disappeared.”

He drew in a shaky, rattling breath, and it was only then she realisedthat he had been crying.

“Oh, fuck,” she said at once.

“I’m fine, Jyn.”

“No you’re not, you’re – oh,god –” She was ill-equipped to deal with emotions on her best of days! Whenshe was drunk, she may as well pat him on the head and say ‘there, there’ forall the good she could do. But still, this was Cassian so she had to try. Shewrapped both her arms around his, hugging it to her body and resting her headagainst his shoulder. Cassian sniffed loudly, rubbing a sleeve across his face,but thankfully not shoving her off. She stayed quiet until eventually, hecalmed down.

“This was supposed to be mine.”

She stayed staring off into the grounds, squeezing his arm tighter.

“All of this, Jyn. The wife, the wedding, the lifetime spent togetherforever, this was supposed to be mine. Where the hell did it all go wrong?”

“It’s not your fault,” Jyn murmured.

“Isn’t it? How did I not realise?” he said. “Honestly, there must havebeen warning signs, things that I ignored or something, because no one just dumps you twoweeks before your wedding out of the blue like that.”

 “I just spoke to her,” Jyn mentioned. “Well, I say I spoke to her,it was more like she cornered me… but she said some things. Do you want me totell you?”

He shifted a little and she knew he was glancing down at her. “Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Jyn, I need to know why she did this.”

She took a deep breath. “She said she realised she was getting marriedfor the wrong reasons. She did love you, but she mentioned the words immatureand insecure, so I’m guessing she only said yes to getting married because itwas the way to hold onto you… maybe she didn’t quite grasp the finality of itall until it hit her…”

Cassian sighed.

“She also mentioned me.”

FUCK.

She hadn’t meant to say that part. Hell, she still didn’t really knowhow to process that particular statement herself, that part was supposed to beburied and ignored for the rest of their given lives! Christ in heaven, youcouldn’t even give drunk her one job! She had no idea what to say to try anddefuse the situation (or even if anything COULD be said) and so she ended upstaying silent, her grip on his arm loosening a little.

When she tried to pull away, he grabbed her hand in the dark and pulledher back, holding it tight.

“Ah, well,” he was apparently going to laugh it off. “We always knew shedidn’t like you.”

“Dunno why,” Jyn said. “I’m a splendid bitch.”

“Look, please don’t think I blame you–”

“Nah, nah, shut up,” Jyn quickly waved past it. “Either way, are you oknow?”

“I’m far from ok,” Cassian mentioned. “but at least I think I’ll be ableto get over it. Someday.” 

“Good. Now let’s go bail early to piss her off one last time.”

“Sounds perfect.” Cassian was the first to move, heaving himself up onthe handrail before turning back to her and offering out a hand. Jyn stillwasn’t quite sure what exactly had gone down between them thisevening. More than a nothing, but less than a something… it waslike the idea of the two of them had simply been dangled teasingly infront of her nose and for the first time in her life, she was actually thinkingabout what it would be like to grab it. Jyn felt that undercurrent thatDanielle had always been so afraid of, the one that was currently thrummingbetween them, and the thoughts simultaneously terrified her and thrilled her…

(But they’d be fine. Tomorrow was a new day, and they would wakeup and this would all be fine). 

She took his hand.

“Thanks for doing this with me, by the way,” Cassian mentioned in thecar on the way home. 

“What, ruining your ex’s wedding for you?”

“Yeah, that,” he snorted. “We never mention the amount of kissing we’vedone to either Bodhi or Kay, by the way.”

“Oh, you can count on it,” Jyn said.

[mxadrian779]

It really sucks when you find out someone you thought was a friend (or at least a good acquaintance) is actually a pretty trashy person.

Okay, let me build up the backstory. Almost seven years ago, I created a niche political page. I tended it alone for about a year before enlisting the help of a second admin. In comes this guy we'll call Richard. Richard and I got along decently. We shared a lot of thoughts and identities. I thought he helped me with the page considerably. He helped tend the page with me for about two years or so. We chatted a lot, and I really liked him. Then things start getting weird between us. Richard seems to start getting weird. There's stuff going on in his life, divorce and whatnot. I get a notice that the page we had was scheduled to be deleted within seven days. I loved my page; I certainly didn't schedule it for deletion. I ask Richard, who swears he didn't and blames his ex-husband, whom he insists must have hacked his account. I don't know who to believe, although I am certainly more suspicious of Richard than of his ex. I remove the deletion schedule, and bump Richard's page access down—basically, I took away his power and control over my page. Things are okay, kind of. The stuff Richard posts to the page is half decent and half questionable. Then he posts a swastika picture, a meme comparison of some current figure to a past Nazi figure with a swastika flag in the background. I wasn't aware of the post at the time; I was busy with school. I only heard of it when my stalker elsewhere online started circulating news of that post (my stalker watches every one of my online pages and presences) and calling me antisemitic—because of something I didn't post and wasn't even aware was posted! I immediately track down that post and remove it, and talk to Richard about it. He claims innocence and dodges the matter. I don't remember what else went on between us, but I certainly remember him being vague and dodgy about it, even after I told him what a shitty thing that was, and told him to at least consider the image that post projects. He didn't care.

(edit: looking back at my messages to him and finding a host of other problems that happened at once. I wanted to address them but he just ignored me. Transphobia, the swastika post, and he'd made some crude sexual posts, as well.)

 Now, I don't remember the exact timeline of events, but this was coming to a head about two years ago, when I was coming out of my transphobia. Richard had made a few transphobic posts on the page over its lifetime, which I didn't protest then. But then I started to see its shittiness and started deleting it all. I tried to open a discussion about it with him, like, “hey, what's up with this stuff?” kind of thing. Richard ignored me. A little later, I removed him from the page completely, which he didn't protest or maybe even notice. Richard was no longer an admin, but I spent the next few months cleaning up his messes and remaking the tone of the page. I tried to track down his old crappy posts and delete them. I know there must be many more, but they're buried beyond reach. I made it clear on the page that we are no longer to be transphobic, and that we are to be welcoming instead of mocking. I ran solo for a long time, afraid to enlist another admin and another Richard.

 A few years ago, before anything went sour, Richard decided we should have a group counterpart, which he created and added me as an admin. I was hardly active with it, though, more focused on the page part. I was last in the group three years ago—my last post. The group fell inactive and I stopped caring about it, especially when I started seeing what a richard Richard was.

Recently, this group came back to the fore when one of the other people Richard enlisted as an admin came back and started poking around. He took issue with what I had posted three years ago, and flew into all these weird accusations about it. He questioned my integrity and my identity, and said I shouldn't be an admin there. He especially didn't like when I told him I was transgender (he said something derogatory about me being a woman or something, so I countered). I private messaged Richard, and said, “What's going on with the group (i.e., this asshole)?” He replied that he'll handle it. I wish I took record of exactly what was said in the group by the other guy, but that wasn't on my mind. I'll finish this off with the transcript of our messages.

>me

>>him

 >Okay, what's going on with the group?

 >>I have no idea. [he] messaged me about your post im reading it now. But i dont particularly see anything controversial

 >It's so old xD I don't get the sudden action and the “I don't think you should be an admin”

 >>Think he just wants my attention...:P

Ill tend to him

I didnt know your not a woman

 >I'm female, but I don't identify as a woman.

 >>K well.. he says and I agree thats [accusation]

 >No, it isn't.

 >>And I was having such a pleasent day... haha

Drama queening over a dead group

 >Did

Did you just ban me?

 >>No y

 >I think [the other guy] removed me.

I can't access or even FIND the group.

 >>Dont worry about it. Were chatting ill take care of u in a min

And dont talk to him... shes just in a mood. This a mans job

 >? [I have no idea which of those was intended for me]

 >>Sigh... just let the men talk thats all you gotta do. RN

 >Uh, okay then, I'll let the penises talk.

 >>Lol

>> […]

>>Ok weve decided to reinvent the group and its gonna be male exclusive

 >Why??

 >>Because its a dead group anyway and if we reinvent it we can just say its been here for years. Also engage gay men in intellectual discussion and dialouge

Which isnt something woman are not typically interested in anyway

 >Only cismen are interested in intellectual discussion? Wow, seriously dude?

 >>Yeah actually. Its true. But ill let you know if theres something interesting going on in it :)

 >No, it actually isn't, and I didn't have you pegged as a sexist turd. Don't bother. I'm not interested in whatever Grindr knockoff you're going to turn the group into.

I can't believe you're doing this. We used to be a team. You wouldn't even have had the platform without me and the page, and you're just going to turn around and betray me like this?

 >>Its a dead group hun. Buisness comes first... also didnt need page platform for anything. Actually thats what killed it imo

Also no its not grinder. Its for intellectual dialouge and discussion.

We smoke cigars and drink brandy like men. And its a beaitiful thing

 And that's that. Richard is gone. I feel betrayed, but I don't know what I'm entitled to feel when I wasn't that close with him for the last few years anyway. He was married to a man and for all intents and purposes, he bills himself as gay, but he recently had a very strong and public relationship with a woman and got close to her son. Apparently that relationship is no more, and he still calls himself gay. Meanwhile, his page is full of questionable things. I haven't been keeping track of him, but he had recently started cropping up on my feed again. One of his posts said something to the effect of “the country went to crap when we gave women and minorities the vote” and it's just like WOW ARE YOU KIDDING ME. How was I EVER friends with this dude??

[overly-b]

Infinity War - Tom Holland

TUMBLR WAS BEING WEIRD SO YES THIS IS MY SECOND TIME POSTING THIS IM SORRY!

MAJOR INFINITY WAR SPOILERS!!!!!!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN!!!!! I’M SERIOUS!!!!

Word count: 2k

Warnings: INFINITY WAR SPOILERS! swearing, some of the reactions were legitimate things that I said while watching IW.

Needless to say, before you even knew who Tom Holland was, you were a fan of Marvel. Being an actress yourself meant that you got to meet many of the beloved actors that played the iconic roles, which lead you right to Tom when he started off on Spider-Man Homecoming.

Even being longtime friends with many, you were a fan at heart, and still fangirled to no end when there were new movies.

Infinity War was no exception. You begged Tom to let you in on spoilers, for some reason he seemed more careful and determined to keep them from you than the rest of the world. He claimed that he didn’t know much, but you knew that he had to know something.

It broke your heart that you couldn’t make it to Infinity War premiere. You wanted nothing more than to support your boyfriend and his castmates during this time, not to mention you wanted to see the movie you had waited ten years for. You settled for a facetime call with Tom, in which you also talked to Robert, two out of the three Chris’s, Mark and Scarlett. You struggled to get through work that evening, wishing you could be with your best friends.

Tom called you afterward, as he was tucked up in bed. His hair was freshly washed and for a moment you imagined the smell of his shampoo. You pout at the fact that you couldn’t be there for him. You tried to trick him into telling you at least something about the finished product but as tired as he was, he did not want you to know anything until you could see it for yourself.

For the next three days, you avoided the internet. You blocked certain accounts, you deleted Instagram off of your phone and became a very productive human as you neglected your electronics as much as possible.

Once he was home, your usual welcome home sex nearly slipped your mind because you wanted to see the movie so bad. Little did you know, he had a private screening planned for later that night.

You were antsy all the way to the theater, bouncing your feet, picking your nails, playing with your fingers as well as Tom’s. When you entered, the room was empty. You were confused until you saw the look on Tom’s face. You gasped and began to jump around squealing. You were relieved that no one would have to witness your reactions and that you could be as loud as you wanted.

The two of you chattered as previews played. As soon as the lights dimmed, you gasped loudly and slapped his shoulder repeatedly in excitement. He simply smiled at you, lifting the armrest and getting comfortable, motioning for you to follow.

Tom knew all of your theories. He knew your ideas and fears. He knew that some of your theories were right, however, he also knew how much of it you got wrong, and how surprised that you would be.

You settle in with Tom’s arm slung around your shoulders. He was excited. Not to see the movie again, but to see how you took it. One of your quirks is that your reactions to movies are priceless. He loved the nights that you binged watch shows or movies because of all of the comments you’d make and reactions you had. If you were into something, you would say so. Most people found it annoying, however, Tom found it endearing. He loved watching you get riled up.

And without fail, as soon as the movie started, you were already going nuts.

“Oh my god, there’s no music. Where’s the Avengers theme, where’s the music? That means something bad” You decided, sighing and shifting slightly. Tom chuckled, you had no idea.

You watch as the first few minutes roll by. You smirk as you tell Tom that your theory of Thanos attacking Thor's ship was in fact correct. But soon enough, your happiness is replaced by the first death of the movie.

Tom’s eyes wander to you as your face changes and your hand goes to your mouth.

“That was,” You pause, clearing your throat as the movie continues on. “Quick” You sniffle, unsure of how to feel. “And we’re only like ten minutes in!”

The scenes change a few times before you see Tom portraying Peter, along with a best friend of yours Jacob. You smile widely in pride and giddiness. Tom notices this and his heart glows in awe. He was nervous that you wouldn’t like his addition to the movie franchise that you had loved for years.

“Tony and Pepper! Damn that ring! Tony wants kids oh my god!”

“A wizards necklace” You chuckle.

“Kick his ass!”

“Iron dad for the win” You state at Tony’s behavior.

“Ohhh upgrade!” You exclaim at the Iron Spider suit.

“Vision!”

“Tween Groot oh my gosh”

“He is not fat Chris Pratt is dad. Daddy Pratty” This earned you a funny look from Tom. He knew how much you love Chris Pratt.

“Steve! Steve! Steve fucking Rogers is here! Fuck yes!” You exclaim. Tom bursts out laughing at that one. “Brooklynn bitch is back”

These were just a few of the things that you had said during the movie. There were many others to follow. All of which Tom found extremely amusing and entertaining Everytime that Peter Parker said something funny, she would instantly turn to Tom, giving him looks of humor and amusement, or rolling our eyes at the interesting nature of the words.

He cuddles you closer as you near yet another dramatic scene.

“He’s not gonna do it is he? That grape would not.”

Your face contorts into a large pout as your eyes water.

“No” You drag out, sitting up to wipe the few tears that had streamed down your face. “Goddammit” You sniffle, leaning back down to Tom, shifting the original position that you both sat in.

The movie rolls on, you keep up with comments of encouragement, advice, and shuns to characters. You burst out laughing at some points. As the end of the movie built up, you began to get anxious. That could not be it. There was something else that had to happen. You and Tom had both sat up and were now shoulder to shoulder, holding hands. When you reached what was thought to be the climax of the movie, you were confused.

“What? What did that do? Nothing happened, what the hell? He snapped? Nothing happened!” You scramble. And then came the punches. “What the fuck!” Your hand clasps over your mouth as your eyes water rapidly. “No!” Tears rolled down your cheeks as you blinked. Character after character, disappearing before your eyes.

You sit further up as the scenery changes, from Earth to the planet Titan. “No!” You whined, your voice strained slightly. You rub your eyes, they had slowed in producing tears.

“Mr. Stark?” You felt your chest tighten.

You whip around from your upright position to face your boyfriend who simply wore a small smirk on his face.

You watched as your boyfriend, no, Peter Parker, one of your favorite Marvel characters even before your boyfriend played the role, die. In the most painful way, clutching his father figure because he had lost two in the past. He begged for his life. You knew that Peter Parker always had to prove his strength because he was the youngest, but alas he cried, sobbed even, pleading to be saved before vanishing completely.

The end of the movie plays out, your tears slow but do not stop as the credits roll onto the screen. You swipe the remaining tears from your chin, neck, and cheeks before leaning back to Tom with a pained expression.

“Did that just fucking happen?” You breathe out, curling into his side. Tom hums simply. You lift your head up to look at him, your eyes like puppy dogs as they water again when you think about what you just witnessed. Your lips curve downwards as you look into Tom’s eyes. His heart melts at the site.

“Oh, darling!” Tom chuckles slightly at your sadness to his, along with many other characters deaths. His lip juts out into a pout as a result of your heartbroken demeanor as he hugs you closer, kissing the top of your head. “It’s okay”

You use your hands to cover your face as another tear sneaks past your lids. You shake your head against his chest where you lay.

“What the fuck Tom” You whine, craning your neck to look at him, your cheek still pressed into his chest. “They can’t fucking do that”

“I think that did love” Tom weakly smiles at your fragile state. You watch the credits and like true fans watch the end credit scene, questioning it excitedly.

Thanos will return.

“That prune, just die already!” You argue with the three words displayed as the very last point of the movie. Tom snickers at your behavior.

It was a quiet ride home as your replay what you had just seen in your head. Tom understood that you wanted a few moments to process, so he turned the radio on a low volume and held your hand all the way back.

Once you enter your shared place, you sigh loudly, wanting nothing but to mope.

“Y’okay love?” Tom questions as you both step into your bedroom.

“That was too fucking depressing” You scoff down a laugh, feeling slightly embarrassed by how upset you were.  

“Okay c’mon” He takes your hand gently, leading yours to the bathroom. He turns the shower on, letting it run as he slips his shirt off.

“Tom I love you but I’m not in the mood-”

“Ah ah ah” He shushes you. Placing a sweet kiss on your now chapped lips, he begins slowly undressing you. Your face contorts into one of adoration over how adorable he is.

“I’m capable of taking my own clothes off” You cock your head to the side as he had you in your bra and jeans.

“I know” He states, a small caring grin upon his lips. He kneels down, placing a kiss just above the waistline of your jeans before unbuttoning and unzipping them. He lifts you onto the counter to slip the fabric down your legs, showering them with light kisses despite the fact that it had been two days since you had shaved.

He slips your down, unclipping your bra and sliding it down your arms. Followed by him guiding your underwear down just enough for them to fall to your feet on their own. You step into the tub where the water is now hot, and Tom is by your side a few moments after.

“You are the sweetest thing” You muse, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck.

“And you are the most dramatic movie watcher I have ever witnessed” Tom shakes his head in remembrance of the past few hours. Your head falls back in giggles, the hot water hitting the top of your forehead as you do so. Toms chuckles rang through the shower in harmony with yours.

“I cannot believe that you kept all of that from me” You scoff in disbelief.

“I didn’t want to ruin it for you. You deserved to get the best experience.”

“Well, the best experience freaking sucked” You pout. Not that you weren’t happy with what Tom planned, but with the events of the movie itself. Tom understands this right away, knowing that you were upset with the movie.

“Yeah” He agrees with you. “I know” He pulls you into his bare chest that is beaded with water, rubbing his fingers on your wet scalp. No doubt tangling your hair as it got soaked, but it felt so good that you didn’t stop him. Your arms snaked around his torso and his free hand found the small of your back. After a moment, he rests his chin atop your head and you begin swaying slightly under the stream of water.

“Don’t ever leave me” You mumble. Before he can open his mouth, you defend your words. “And I know it’s stupid because he's a character but, he’s your character. Watching your character die was also an image of you dying. I just, don’t do that to me, not for real.”  

You didn’t have to look at him to know that his lips were pursed to suppress a small forming smile. Tom’s tiny laugh of cherishing your wish left him as air out of his nose. His chest rattled.

“I won’t. Especially not like that” To his statement you whine sadly. 

“Way too soon!” 

[staycalmandlovekpop]

Who You Are Pt.2

Scenario: Im Jaebum has a dissociative identity disorder/multiple personality disorder and he meets this girl that he didn’t know was his private therapist.

A/N: It’s been quite a long time since I posted! I’ve never done a series before and it’s not easy to update/write often cause of life and responsibilities (Kudos to all the writers out there that update frequently!) I won’t make any more promises on how fast I can release these chapters, but if you’ll be patient with me I will continue this series over a period of time~. 

Read Pt.1 Here

JB’s eyes widened in shock. You were the only woman that rejected and was repulsed by his flirting. He couldn’t believe that you actually believed him (ish) and is willingly kissing him now. Although JB wanted to enjoy this moment of victory longer, he knew that he would have to go back into Jaebum’s consciousness if was gonna score another kiss from you in the future.

As you pulled back from the kiss, you watched as Jaebum’s body went limp and caught him before he fell over.

“I’m not getting paid enough for this...” You murmured to yourself as you managed to prop him against the wall.

You were about to call GOT7’s manager when you suddenly heard footsteps coming towards your direction. You began to panic. What would other K-pop idols think if they saw you with Jaebum passed out like this? Without thinking straight, you quickly wrapped your arms around Jaebum's waist tightly. "Hey, I heard some commotion back here so I was going to check it out and see if-WHOA" The owner of the shop stopped talking when he saw you and Jaebum "cuddling" by the corner. "Oops haha nevermind. Sorry~. Get back to what you guys were doing~."

You pulled back once the owner and left and sighed. Is it possible for you to get Jaebum out of here without looking suspicious? You dialed GOT7's manager when Jaebum suddenly started to stir awake. 

"Hello?" 

"Hi, um...So he kind of dissociated into JB and then he passed out again. Is there any way you can come and help me bring him back to the dorm?"

"Okay. I'll be there in 15 minutes." GOT7's manager answered.

"Thanks. I think he's waking up right now, so I'll try to keep him calm for now." As you hung up, Jaebum's eyes fluttered open and his gaze landed on you. 

"Um excuse me, but what are you looking at?" He asked in a sassy tone.

"Uhh...Jaebum...?" You said with uncertainty. 

"Pfft no. I'm Nora."

Your eyes widened. NORA??!! 

"Nora...Nora as in Jaebum's cat??"

Nora brushed her hair behind her ear. "I'll take that as a compliment that you think I'm cute and pretty like a cat."

DID A NEW PERSONALITY JUST FORM? OH BOY. You weren't too excited to get to know more about this one.

As Nora busied herself by taking selcas next to the ice cream shop's decorated walls, you texted the manager.

"Um nevermind...She-” You caught yourself and deleted “she” and replaced it back with “he” to not worry their manager. “He just woke up...We’ll meet you back at the dorms soon."

You turned your attention back to Nora who was busy scrolling through Instagram. “Hey Nora? How old are you?” You asked. Might as well get as much information on the new personality as possible.

“I’m 12...and a half.” She replied, not looking up from her phone.

“Okay...Do you know why Jaebum created you?”

Nora scoffed. “You think that I would tell you our secrets? Think again, old hag.”

Old hag? Technically, she’s physically “older” than you because she’s in the body of an 25-year-old man…

“You know, I’m only-”

“22? Yeah, I know.”

“Yeah! So don’t go calling me a-. Wait...how did you already know? I’ve only told JB my age because he wanted to see if he could make me call him ‘Oppa’ (which failed cause there was no freakin’ way you were going to call him that).”

“Cause we all share Jaebum’s general knowledge, duh~.” Nora said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You figured that you weren’t going to get the answers you wanted if you got up all in her case, so you decided to take advantage of her pride by playing dumb.

“Uh general knowledge...?”

Nora crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “Uh yeah, it’s exactly how it sounds. It’s the common knowledge that we all have access to.”

“What? I don’t get it... Then why didn’t Jaebum know who I was when all the other personalities did?”

“O H  M Y  G O O D N E S S. Aren’t you a nurse? Shouldn’t you know about this?”

“Actually, I’m a first-year psychiatry resident.”

Nora rolled her eyes again. Wow, what a sassy pre-teen…

“Jaebum didn’t know about it because we’ve all been blocking that knowledge from him. We knew he would freak out like this, but we also knew that if he doesn’t get help now it might be too late to work on integrating.”

Integrating, the process of all the personalities combining back into one main personality. You wondered if Jaebum tried or even wanted to try integrating. Though you suppose he should be a part of this process too since it’s a team effort. Was he trying to do it by himself without any psychiatric help? Did he give up? You had so many questions for him, but you were stuck with bratty Nora for the time being. Maybe you guys should just get back to the dorm first and get Jaebum his meds.

You linked your arm around Nora’s and gave it a small pull. “Alright, cmon Nora. Let’s go back home.”

Nora made a face and shook her head. “I don’t want to leave just yet! Just look at all the cute boys here~.”

Your eyes widened at her comment as you looked all around to make sure it wasn’t loud enough for anyone else to hear. “Shhh!! Keep it down! You don’t want to start any rumors.”

“Oooh rumors~? Can you help me start one of me and G-Dragon dating?” Nora said with lit up eyes.

“No! Just come with me!” You whispered loudly, tugging her arm harder.

“I don’t want to!”

The both of you were starting to get some weird looks from the other customers. You had to get Nora out of there FAST.

“Tell you what, I’ll buy you another ice cream if you come with me.”

“How old do you think I am? 5?” Nora scoffed.

“You can get three scoops with unlimited toppings.”

Nora thought for a moment with pursed lips before giving in. “Call~ (Deal).”

After getting Nora her ice cream, you called a cab to take you guys back to GOT7’s dorm. Even though their dorm wasn’t that far away, it was safer than walking on the streets and being caught by the paparazzi. You don’t know Nora too well yet, so you can’t really trust that she would act normally in public. The cab then pulled up a few steps ahead and you guys scurried in. As the cab driver began driving, you noticed that Nora was surprisingly silent. You looked over at her and saw her eating her ice cream while looking outside the window. Man was it a good idea to give her ice cream, keeping her preoccupied and not making the cab driver suspicious by being her sassy self. You noticed that she could pass for Jaebum himself when she's not talking. What kind of person is he? What's going to happen when he comes back?

In no time, you both arrived at the dorm and Nora finished her ice cream. Once you guys were at the front door, you did the secret knock. * knock. knock knock knock. knock. knock knock *

"Hey..." You said awkwardly as GOT7's manager opened the door.

"What happened...?" He asked nervously, letting you two in.

"Uhh soo..."

"Oooh there's a cute little butterfly clip on the floor!" Nora shouted as she ran passed and picked up something from the floor.

You looked down at your feet as you felt something nudge your leg. "Oh Coco~, you're here!!" You picked her up and held her in your arms. The clip must've belonged to her.

"Oh yeah, Youngjae is staying here for the weekend because his brother went out of town."  Their manager explained. "Umm...did something actually happen?"  

You both turned and watched as Jaebum/Nora clipped the clip onto her hair. You sighed. "It's a long story....You might wanna gather everyone and sit down for this."

"Oh Y/N? Is that you?" Jinyoung asked as he popped his head out from his room.

"Oh hey Jinyoung." You said with a wave.

"Hey! So uhh do you happen to know where my movie script went?"

You facepalmed yourself. Must've been freakin Seo Mijoon again. "Try checking Jaebum's room under the bed."

Jinyoung snapped his fingers and smiled before walking towards Jaebum's room. "Thanks!"

You and the manager sat on the couch as Nora examined herself in the mirror hanging near the T.V. 

"So, as I was saying...."

Mark suddenly comes out into the living room, drying his wet hair with a towel. "Hey manager hyung, is Jaebum home?"

Nora turned in the direction of the sound of his voice and literally froze in place once she laid her eyes on him. She watched as Mark shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair in slow motion in her head. When Mark glanced at her, she heard a choir of angels as a nonexistent light shone on him.

" O M G." Was all she was able to say as she stared at him with sparkling eyes.

"Is he okay?" Mark asked, noticing the weird look Nora was giving him.

"Maybe you should go back to your room for now..." You said, getting up to block Nora's path from Mark just in case she was going to jump him.

"Okay..." Mark said as he picked up Coco and went into his room.

"Bye Oppa~!!" Nora shouted after him.

The manager stood up with his hands on his hips. "Okay, now you really have to tell me wtf is going on. Why is Jaebum putting on hair clips and calling people 'oppa'?"

"I've got his medicine!!" Youngjae shouted as he walked out from his room. "Oh hey Y/N!"

"Hey Youngjae~." You walked over to him and took the pill bottle from his hand. 

"Thanks~." You said with a smile.

"Alright Nora, time to take your medicine." You said, walking towards her.

"No, I don't want to!!" Nora shouted, backing away from you.

"I got the water!!" Jackson exclaimed as he came running from the kitchen with a water bottle.

You poured out a pill and shoved it toward Nora's face. "Just swallow it!"

Nora shook her head frantically, dodging your attempts to put it in her mouth. "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

While struggling with Nora, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around and see Jackson standing there with a serious look on his face. "Let me handle it."

You slowly handed him the pill and stepped aside.

"I'm sorry Hyung, but this is for your own good."  Jackson then took a deep breath before stomping on Nora's foot. As she yelped in pain, he quickly shoved the pill into her mouth. "Quick! Help me get this bottle opened!" 

You reached over to the water bottle Jackson was holding and twisted off the cap as fast as you could. Both you and the manager watched in amusement as Jackson proceeded to pour water over her mouth. Nora swallowed the pill along with some of the water, letting out a cough when the bottle was empty.

"3, 2, 1." Jackson counted before Jaebum passed out and fell into Jackson's arms. "We're in the clear now."

As Jackson set Jaebum down on the couch, the manager gathered the rest of the members into the living room. "Well now that there are no more distractions...Y/N, why don't you tell us what happened."

And so you told them about Jaebum hit his back, how you thought JYP came out, how Jaebum got so furious after finding out that JB came out, and how this new personality suddenly appeared.

The manager was distraught and confused. "What?! A new personality? How is that even possible? He's 25-years-old."

"Maybe being halfway to 50 is a big milestone of his life." Yugyeom joked, bursting into laughter along with Bambam.

"In the past, a personality would only form after a traumatizing event. Are you sure that nothing like that happened?" Jinyoung asked.

Traumatizing? Your thoughts go back to the kiss that you gave JB. Seriously?? Was that really THAT traumatizing for him to experience?? 

"Uhhh not that I can I think of..." You lied, protecting your pride and erasing that horrifying image from your mind.

As you told them more information on Nora's personality, Jaebum began to stir. "Look, he's waking up." Bambam pointed out. 

Jaebum rubbed his eyes and slowly sat up. "What happened?" He asked with a groggy voice.

He immediately froze in place when he laid his eyes on you. "Um, guys...Why is there a sasaeng in our house?"

"She's not a sasaeng…” Mark began. “She’s a-”

"She's your private nurse." Their manager flat out said. "Or more like private psychiatrist to be exact."

Jaebum furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What...? Wait wait wait...You hired a private nurse without my consent? How long has she been monitoring me?"

"It's been 2 weeks. And yes, you need the help." The manager said sternly. 

Jaebum’s scoffed, with his mouth agape. "I told you already that I don't need it. I don't need anyone to help me!! I can do this on my own! Did you guys know about this too?" He turned to look at his fellow members who all just awkwardly avoided eye contact. "Wow. Just wow."

You could tell by the sound of Jaebum's voice that he felt betrayed and frustrated.

"Hey, don't blame them...They're just trying to help." You said softly. 

"Well, it's unwanted. Also, I don't mean to be rude but...you can leave now. You're no longer needed here." Jaebum said, gesturing you towards the door.

"Hyung...it's way past midnight. Are you really going to send her out alone during this time of day?" Jackson asked.

You sat there staring at Jaebum with hurt eyes in silence. Is this really what the real Jaebum is like?

Jaebum looked over at you and clenched his fist. "Fine. I'll leave instead." He said through gritted teeth. Turning around, Jaebum went out the front door and slammed it behind him.

Jinyoung sighed. "Don't take it personally Y/N. He just needs to cool down. I'll talk to him." 

As he got up and followed after Jaebum, Youngjae scooted over to you. "Hey, you okay?"

You let out a sigh. "Maybe I should leave...The contract has already been broken anyway since he found out."

"What? You're just going to give up like that?" Youngjae said with a tad bit of disappointment in his voice.

"Well, you heard him. He doesn't need me. So what's the point of even trying?"

"He DOES need you. He's just too stubborn to see it."

You stood up and threw your hands up in the air. "Why bother to help someone that doesn't want to be helped?"

Youngjae gave you a long and serious look. "But then who will help them? If we choose to ignore people who claim that they don't need help, they who will be there for them? Nobody else is going to ever know how they truly feel and they will end up facing their sufferings alone."

You sat back down and lowered your head. Youngjae was right. You felt guilty for even just thinking those kinds of thoughts. 

"I do...I really do want to help him. I just don't know how or if I even can do anything to help. I'm just a first-year psychiatry resident with no real experience...For undergrad, I just managed to pass my classes. I may have the knowledge, but I don't know how to utilize it... "

"Hey now~." Youngjae patted your back. "You're doing the best you can. You're doing a great job. You being here right now and trying to help is already more than enough."

You looked over at Youngjae and smiled. "Thanks."

A few moments later, you heard the front door clicked and Jinyoung came in. You and Youngjae stood up simultaneously. 

"Where's Jaebum?" Youngjae asked. 

Jinyoung sighed as he thought about the heated conversation he just had with him.

"Hyung, get back here." Jinyoung had called out after him, as he ran to catch up with Jaebum who was walking towards the subway station.

Jaebum just kept on walking without looking back. "Just go back home Jinyoung. I've already made my point. You can't change my mind."

"Why can't we just sit down and talk about this? Hm?" Jinyoung finally caught up and went in front of him to block his path.

"There's nothing to talk about. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I don't need her or anyone's help! I can and will overcome this on my own."

"It doesn't hurt to try!! Maybe she's different than the past therapists you've seen?"

Jaebum put his hands on his hips and shook his head, chuckling to himself without any humor in it. "Different? Haha. You make me laugh. She's the cause of why this new personality formed isn't she?"

Jinyoung stared at him in shock. They haven't told Jaebum about Nora yet or about what happened.

"Yeah, that's right. I can feel it. I can hear and feel that there's another personality that has taken a vacancy inside my mind. And all this happened right after this girl showed up. Coincidence? I don't think so."

As Jaebum walked passed Jinyoung, Jinyoung clenched his fist in anger. How could Jaebum say such things about someone who was just trying to help him? 

"Quit being so temperamental and stubborn!!" He shouted, making Jaebum freeze in his tracks and turn around.

Having Jaebum's full attention, Jinyoung continued. "H-how about us?! We're sick and tired okay?!?!" Jinyoung took a breath as he started to choke up. "We're sick and tired....of watching you suffer and not knowing how to help you...But she knows how."

Jaebum just stood there in silence, astonished at Jinyoung's outburst and seeing tears welling up in his eyes.

"Please, Hyung...The six of us really care about you and want the best for you..."

Jaebum let out a deep breath and turned away. "I'm...I'm just going to spend the night in my studio." He then walked away towards the subway station, leaving Jinyoung standing there in defeat.

And that was how Jinyoung ended up returning to the dorm alone. Maybe one night outside will give Jaebum some time to clear his mind and think about it.

"Where did he go?" You asked.

Jinyoung looked over at you. You looked worried. Worried that Jaebum went and did something stupid and that everything was all your fault. He gave a little small reassuring smile before saying, "It's okay. He's just going to spend the night in his music studio."

You and Youngjae looked at each other and smiled in relief. 

Jackson then popped his head out from one of the rooms. "Hey Y/N, you can sleep in my old bedroom. I can sleep on the couch tonight."

Your eyes widened and you shook your head. "Oh no, no. It's okay, I don't mind sleeping on the couch. You guys are the ones that need a good night's rest. You guys are K-pop idols with packed schedules every day!"

Jackson raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" 

You smiled."Yes. It's totally fine~. Thank you guys for letting me stay."

Mark then came out with a pillow and a few blankets, followed by their manager. "It's no problem. We'll discuss more about what we're going to do with Jaebum tomorrow."  The manager said as he helped Mark set up your "bed" on the couch.

You thanked them once again and said your goodnight's to each member before laying on the couch. You would wash up, but you just felt so drained after all the craziness that happened today. What an emotional roller-coaster. You tossed and turned to the other side and sighed. Will you be able to say the right words to Jaebum to convince him to let you continue being his therapist? You got up, took out your laptop from your bag, placed it on the coffee table next to you, and started looking through all the notes you took on each personality. Will you ever get the chance to meet each one of them again? While scrolling, you stopped at Jaebum’s name and stared at the little information you had on who he (the main personality) was. You knew that there had to be more to him than what you saw tonight.  Although you thought you would stay up all night thinking about it, you eventually drifted to sleep after staring at your screen blankly.

Meanwhile, Jaebum was trying to get some sleep himself on the couch inside his music studio. But he couldn't help but think about what Jinyoung said to him. "We're sick and tired of watching you suffer and not knowing how to help you....but she knows how." 

Honestly, Jaebum had his own reasons of why he has been so stubborn like this. But maybe it was time for him to consider other people's feelings too. The next morning, Jaebum carefully entered the dorm quietly to not wake anyone up. After closing the door ever so gently, he began tiptoeing around until he spotted you sleeping on the couch. The hurt expression you gave him last night when he told you to leave flashed through his mind, making him feel guilty for his immature actions. Jaebum then noticed your opened laptop on the coffee table. He turned the laptop towards him and began to read through all your notes. He was shocked and amazed at how much information you were able to gather on each personality in the span of two weeks. Based on the descriptions you wrote, it seemed like you were able to read each of them well. Jaebum looked over at you and sighed. He could really see how much effort you put into this. Pushing the laptop back towards your direction, he softly knocks on the manager's bedroom door.

The door swung opened and there stood a sleepy manager. "Yes?" He answered groggily, with his eyes slowly widening at the realization that Jaebum has come home. "J-Jaebum you're back."

Jaebum nodded before saying, "I'll do it. Let's keep Y/N as my private nurse."

Part 2 END  (A/N: Five stars for you if you caught on to a GOT7 reference ;) )

[wolfwhiteflowers]

s9 filming spoilers and speculations..... TWD RANTS

Timejump-capital /twd parade pics and Caryl-the skybound thing, & other-richonne. (this post is meh and confusing) 

*twd spoilers, comic spoilers, anti C/E

k so writing this long weird speculation and thoughts-post. I wanna like move on from the show. Like as usual it’s on hiatus ykno? But the s8 finale messed me up so much. And I wonder a lot about Carol and the ships. Unanswered questions. I guess I’m saying I’m gonna rant a lot...or I go big in this post. 

Now we’re getting filming spoilers. bits and pieces but s9 premiere is a big deal like because of the time jump. The time jump changes the story a lot right? So... just from spoilery things, I realized, it’s hitting me a lot that it’s so 50/50 on me for if I still like the show or not (with timejump, ships, different showrunner/writings, and who knows how TWD ends). 

I really don’t like how 50/50 that is. So shock value way? Anyways, this hiatus I guess is gonna be a really big roller coaster ride. :\ I feel more doubtful than hopeful about s9. ....I just want Carol to be in character (the way i see it) and I want Carol (anyone) to interact with team family more. Idk if I can trust the writers during the hiatus with some bits of spoilers because some arcs start off frustrating and end well. It’s like I also have to wait till they film the finale to know if I wanna watch s9. or it’s like I wait till s10 for an arc to end. Idk I’m bummed that it’s at that point for me to decide to quit or not. sigh stories.

Yeah so this reminds me of s8, where the biggest change to the show happened with Carl’s death for me and the fandom. So I(and like most people too apparently...show is still going) keep watching TWD because Carl’s death doesn’t bother me that much, I feel the writing is still fine, and I see it as Rick’s show. So ..idk what im saying. I just think if they screw up Carol’s character and her interactions, then I feel it’s pointless to keep watching the show. I want charactery bonds, interesting arcs, and parallels. I know TWD can still be fine, but s8′s bad finale ep made me doubtful on the writing (or editing...there were good deleted scenes in s8 finale). 

Time jump

Wow those pics of the cast at the capital and on horses. “twd parade” The pics also tells a lot or so what 9x01 will be like/time jump. It’s overwhelming. It got me excited and then I worry the show will suck and mess up my faves.

The time jump in 9x01 looked like not like Carl’s dream/5 years(?) where Rick had a cane, white hair, 6 yo Judy, and Negan gardening with TF. This time jump in s9 so far looked like one year went by. Also looked like the characters got one thing changed on them. Rick-short hair, Carol-hat, Jesus-manbun, etc.so it’s like it’s not that much of a time jump.

Oh man, I can’t help it but I want to compare TWD and The 100. (They’re different ofc, one’s pace is fast and more violent/survival-like. It’s also like it’s ok to watch more than one show even tho one is better or whatever. It’s frustrating tho T100 have way more interactions/girl power.) Both current survival-shows. Right now, The 100 just had a six year time jump(I think) and TWD in s9 there will be a time jump too. So The 100′s current season, I really liked how they did set up the time jump and informing us how the characters are doing and see the changes in them and their looks. Even their previous season, there was a good understanding foreshadowing to the time jump plot. ...TWD didn’t, I mean Idk why, it’s like easy writing they should’ve done..to keep fans interested to what’s next on the show. I noticed in The 100, is that there were flashbacks and bottled/centered episodes. It’s also quick but partly because The 100 have a short season too and the writers want to focus on the upcoming different plot.

Anyways, so now that I think it’s been like a year later in TWD story. My theories are like everywhere and changed. I’m also like being an annoying comic fan..wants to be exact way but it’s a show and they can remix stuff. Whatever, we all want good stories! It’s kinda following the comics like usual. ok. Time jump and whisperers are coming. Idk why, I’m really excited for ‘old man Rick’ hair cut and horses, when I’m like wtf Rick’s curls tho. lol  Also just..9 seasons...and do I still like the show and will I like what’s next based on comics? (I actually figured AOW in s7-8 would be boring or come off different in the show. It’s all battle scenes and comics goes quicker..Idk I figured it would be boring but I think the war story on show and comics did alright. It wasn’t like a boring action movie that I see most of the time with action movies :P So I think this arc in s9 people will like this. More charactery stuff, well based from the comics. But we don’t have Carl and Maggie(for certain)?... Yeah usual tv flaws.)

So, I think it’s just one year later and that’s it. Also, I don’t mind seeing flashbacks and bottle episodes, as long it’s done well and entertaining. I think in s9 bottle episodes are needed.

kids

So since I think it’s one year later, then we probably get the same Judith girl in s8, as 3 yo?, Hershel Jr as -months old, and I don’t think there will be a Richonne-baby...unless Michonne got pregnant right after the war and Hershel Jr and Richonne-baby are about the same age. 

Skybound mailbag/Caryl/ E&Z

I read some speculations and from C/E shippers, just to get more info on Carol. (I gotta stop that. I’ll know about Carol when I do and they’re really anti-Caryl. It’s annoying. ugh ship wars.) I realized from the spoilery pics and speculations, I just don’t want Carol with anyone or C/E in s9/s9A. I just want to know what’s up with Carol again. Unless Carol being with E is a very minor thing. Like in The 100 show where two times fans suddenly learn Bellamy has a gf. There was a time jump and the relationship’s build up and being canon was all offscreen. The relationship didn’t last or some other thing important was gonna happen. I just want to know what’s Carol’s thinking and feeling. Idk I just feel if C/E happens,I just feel like Idk Carol anymore. :\ Idk what Caryl is anymore. They’re best friends (crushes) right...and still is? I really don’t like in s8 finale where Carol didn’t talk to any TF member/Daryl about why she wants to stay at Kingdom. Just any moment to see TF knows too. Also, Idk if Daryl is staying at ASZ or Hilltop and does Rick knows Daryl doesn’t agree with his decision on Negan.

(lil post on twdzone. carol/and show stuff)

‘If C/E happens like a - a surprise ship in s9. I find it bad writing because they didn't set it up in s8 or should add more romantic tone in it and obviously put a C/E moment in the finale. But they didn't. So..bad writing. Or just idk maybe it's for plot reasons (E’s death). Maybe there will be a love triangle? It makes Carol out of character or strange for me. Who/What does Carol care about and why? Idk.

 It’s also something that TWD has to do too...from s8 finale and time jump/season premiere it means s9 premier ep gotta be a very well written episode to explain to everything and well reasons. But man...the s8 finale was so wacky and frustrating. It made me lose hope on the writers. I did like s8B but wow finale wtf. And finale is important ep of the seasons..and also it was before the big time jump. sigh. //It reminds me something, it’s kind of TWD’s style or Gimple’s, that premieres are more important than finales. So I hope s9 premiere is good. So yeah if Caryl is just gonna be friends and also just gonna like nod at each other like they don't have that special (continuity) bond anymore. Then that show is over for me. It's also not Caryl’s connections too, I miss Carol’s connections with Team family so much! OMG just looking at Carol and Rick edits, I just sigh.. I know some don't like their relationship. But I like theirs and they got that history, interesting dynamic. I don't wanna see Carol and Rick like they're just acquaintances now. (um like remember their history and trying to save Sophia. etc.) I want Carol or anyone to interact and be team family. The show gotta focus on their main characters and interact them. Too many side characters...too many separations.’

Other

Once I thought about this idea, I’m like gaaah I really hope TWD does this. I really want and hope Rick have these moments to remember Carl by and to do it every season. I really like this idea I have where Rick could write a letter to Carl or talk to Carl’s grave in every season premier/finale. It’s something that merge the old TWD and the new TWD story...even though it’s Rick’s show, it’s still a father and son show.

Richonne!

I have some speculations and thoughts. I just wanna say that I hope Richonne in s9 is more interesting than comic R&A in the comics in the point of the story. Just be like on the show, power couple and all. I really like how in s8 finale, they were like co-leaders. Together. Idk I’m curious how Richonne will go in s9 and on. It’s seems real different than in the comics/R&A are doing. 

So, in the comics, Andrea was like focusing on protecting Carl and co-leading etc. and then she dies at the end of Whisperer war. I find her death and end of her journey boring and disappointing. So Idk, I hope Michonne’s journey is interesting and I have no clue how this comic-Michonne and/or Andrea remix thing works out since Carol is using comic-Michonne’s too. %) Anyways, so I don’t think Michonne will die like comic-Andrea because tv-Carl got the death. After the Andrea’s death, Rick bonded and grieved with Mikey (Carl’s friend) while Carl is at Hilltop adulting. From the comics, I felt like Kirkman wished he had Rick and Andrea to have a child together but he didn’t so he got Mikey more into the story and w/Rick. So I’m like maybe we will get a Richonne-baby? But, then I also thought maybe Judith is like comic-Mikey. Grimes 2.0 grieving and missing Carl. So yeah.. I’m suspecting Richonne won’t have child together or at least in s9. From the twd parade pics, Idk, I don’t think there will be a baby. I really hope they do someday though.

 Another thing is, I really want Judith to call Michonne “Mom” and Rick to point out to people that Michonne is his wife.  

So yeah, roller coaster.