#i definitely thought about this
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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FNAF Into the pit? More like into the daddy issues
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#pit bonnie#fnaf oswald#into the pit#fnaf sister location#william afton#SO THERES this concept I saw (and I also thought of) going around#and that’s the idea how pit Bonnie treats Oswald is similar to how William treated Michael#obviously not all the chasing and more spooky monster parts#but specifically a lot of the at home scenes#where pit Bonnie acts normalism almost like a stern father#I like this idea a lot it’s very interesting to think about#I can imagine Michael actually meeting the pit and being like yeah that’s like my dad#like that’s how he mostly remembers him too#it’s kinda funny and kinda sad#Oswald definitely just feel so lucky to have his dad#Oswald fr got the better end of the ‘fnaf parents’ stick 💀#love you Michael deserve so much more than you got 💜
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We all know the semi-canonical ‘all the Robins know to hide/duck inside of Batman’s cape, even as adults’ thing.
We also know that Danny ‘is LITERALLY a ghost’ Fenton sucks at remembering his own intangibility while ALSO forgetting to look ahead of him.
All I’m saying is, Danny Fenton (or Phantom, if you’d really like) would absolutely SLAM into Batman on accident while running on roof tops and Bruce ‘Brooding Instinct’ Wayne doesn’t even think twice about letting the kid hide and scanning around for danger before there’s a record scratch of ‘wait who tf is this?’ kicks in.
#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom crossover#listen I’m just SAYING#my initial thought is Fenton bc dark hair and how most of the robins have had dark hair#Danny isn’t even necessarily running from danger. he just got into parkour and forgot how to stop his momentum#I mean you CAN have him running from something. give this an ACTUAL plot#but honestly I just think it’d be a fun little setup#Danny peaks out and. in panic. goes#hi we’re the council of the dead. we’ve been trying to contact you and yours about your extended warranty#*extended life warranty or what have you#Danny hasn’t even gotten death vibes from anyone yet so now he has to wing it#yeah hi… uh. Batman sir. if that’s your preferred moniker?#right so we’re basically the ghost irs and you owe death taxes?#yeah you know the saying. death and taxes. guarantees of life. haha.#which in this case means you owe money bc you aren’t dead yet. probably. idk I uh. JUST got the job .#anyways ohhhh hi yep you’re. red hood. yeah so. mm. yeah we definitely need to get you to the ghostly dmv#it’s the same as a regular dmv but people have actually been bored to death in there#(meanwhile Batman is like WAIT IS THIS SMALL CHILD DEAD?!)#(SURE WHATEVER IM RICH HOW DO I FIND A GHOST ACCOUNTANT AND MORE IMPORTANTLY DO YOU RESPECT GHOST ADOPTIONS?)
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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his therapist woulda had a field day at their next appointment
#my art#doodle#fanart#resident evil 8#ethan winters#i think its so funny that he has a journal in re8. not only does he have a journal but he illustrates it. i dont know if capcom intended to#imply that ethan stops every now and then to jot down the horrors and the hour that the horrors occur my guess is prolly not#but now its there and it makes me laugh. i shouldnt laugh at his mental health journey but i am anyways#shoutout to people who journal i wish i was you but instead i draw a guy feelin my emotions for me#but im so happy the sun goess away at 5pm. truly immaculate. i miss snow. but we stay chillin#i made more dear diary doodles but these were my favs n they went well together#i changed the entry in the 2nd one though cause i thought it was funnier to me this way#i cut my hair too short again im not even sad about it anymore like whatever man#at least its out of my way. and my shower was SO fast i got to stand there 5ever and it was still only like 15 minutes#fantastic. there are so many joys in life. theres twice as many horrors but the joys are definitely there and they are definitely joyful#anyways thats the post stay warm n cozy out there gang
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"The dead one! Yeah I haven't thought about her in a long time!"
A little theory I've had about Winter King's original motives based on his heartless comment about Betty and Ice King's original motives for kidnapping princesses in the first place...... clearly she gave off Bad Ex Vibes…
#adventure time#fionna and cake#simon petrikov#winter king#candy queen#princess bubblegum#ice king#betty grof#fionna and cake spoilers#adventure time spoilers#at spoilers#spoilers#fan art#digital art#sketch#2023#SORRY THIS IS SKETCHY I NEEDED TO GET IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM. I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS JERKWAD#SO MANY QUESTIONS SO MANY THOUGHTS AND NONE OF THEM WILL EVER BE ANSWERED LOL#I say bad-ex in quotes I feel like I hc that this Simon definitely had some ego issues to begin with...#and whether betty left him or died in the apocalypse he held that against her and became resentful instead#after he became Winter King he grew out of it and stopped caring because he's having a fantastic time now#but PB has always been a subconscious reminder of Betty. Why else would he target her specifically.
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They deserve to have fun ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔっ✨
#manifesting the happiness the League deserves#it's truly messed up we never got an OVA of them having a good time#no beach episode or nothin#the world is cruel#so I will make it myself#I thought about this when we went to Six Flags this year and my friends and I went hog on the teacups#I just know Dabi and Twice would crank that cup so fast#everyone else is watching from the sidelines because they know better#Tomura definitely threw up after this#I was going to draw a bunch of other people in the other cups but i got lazy sorry#anyways enjoy the meal#my art#bnha#mha#my hero academia#bnha fanart#shigaraki tomura#shiggy#tenko shimura#Dabi#touya todoroki#toga himiko#twice mha#Twice#league of villains#lov
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Okay but imagine me forcing you into diapers and strapping you into a baby bouncer with a rattle and a little remote-controlled vibrator underneath your diaper's liner. I keep you there all day, working on grown-up things that you're just too dumb to understand.
Every hour, I take a quick break to feed you a big bottle of milk, before resuming my adult activities. Since you're just a baby who can't control when you pee yourself, you're making peepees in your diaper in no time at all. As a reward, I turn on the little buzzy toy inside your diaper.
I keep it on a low setting at first, and I turn it off whenever you're close. After all, that diaper can get fuller, and you haven't earned cummies yet. I continue to feed you your bottles, and as you fill your diaper more and more, I turn the setting up more and more.
Eventually, I'm satisfied with how much you've filled your diaper. I turn the buzzy toy to its highest setting, allowing you to cum. Your little whimpers and cries are music to my ears, but it's time for the pacifier gag to go in, since Mommy has to go on a call soon. It's a good thing that you'll be occupied with what's going on in that diaper.
Oh, you're so helpless, aren't you baby? There's no thoughts in that little baby brain. All you're able to do is bounce while you make peepees and cummies inside your diaper, over and over and over again. And don't think that I don't see you leaking. I bet you love that all the more, being able to bounce in your own mess both between your legs and beneath your feet while making cummies.
I don't think you'd be coming out of there anytime soon, unless it's for a change. I think you belong there, and I'll make sure you stay there. Don't worry, little one. Mommy will take care of you and all your needs. All you'll need to worry about is bouncing and keeping those diapers nice and full for Mommy. But judging by your performance today, I'd say you'll have no trouble doing that.
I bet you'd enjoy that. I bet you're squeezing your legs together just reading this. Or trying and failing to do so because your diaper is too thick~ Now, come here, baby, and we can make it happen. After all, Mommy knows best! ♡
#i think about baby bouncers a lot actually#i'm definitely not a baby who fantasizes about baby bouncers like. a lot#axo.txt#text#dom thoughts#mine#lesbian ab/dl#ab/dl#md/lg#mommysprincess#mommysbaby#mommys little girl#mommy k!nk#ab/dl diaper#ag3 play#ag4play#4gepl4y#4g3pl4y#4geplay#@gepl4y#@geplay#ab/dl babygirl#ab/dl community
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Part four of old GF sketches
The twin thing, Stan and Ford edition
#fanart#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#i saw a lot of posts pushing the big/little sibling titles on these two when I was drawing this#i won't say it's irrelevant to their characters#(though it comes up way less with Dipper and Mabel)#but as someone with a twin and other siblings very close in age#I've only used 'big/little' instead of 'older/younger' as a joke#other families definitely care more than us#so my opinion is that Ford cares very much about being the 'older' sibling that sets the example and has a respectable title#and Stan has never thought about Ford in these terms in his life#being in their late fifties/sixties just makes it worse for him
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Team loserboy
#been feeling REALLY manic about gravity falls and by extension#this crossover#I've been quiet on here but my mind is constantly on FUCKING FIRE WITH THOUGHTS ABOUT SO SO SO MUCH#I feel like I'm gonna explode#i was just cleaning my desktop and I was like i may as well throw this on here#i'm currently cleaning these up and making character sheets for them#... dont tell anyone >:)#gravity falls#dipper pines#invader zim#dib membrane#billy gaobam#grim adventures of billy and mandy#billy is definitely the least loserboy here#but I've been mostly doing comms#that comes first
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#matt smith#david tennant#peter capaldi#alex kingston#jenna louise coleman#catherine tate#dw spoilers#ok i thought about waiting until saturday to make this#so that i could have a better quality one of fourteen and donna#but i couldn't do it!!!!!#the context for all of these kisses on the hand are so different i love it#but clara definitely got her fair share of them lol#also thought about including eleven and amy's forehead kisses but.... idk#anyways i'm very excited for saturday ahhhhh
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its sonics turn! 👅
#sonadow#shadow takes his job very seriously#do not test a guy who has a 20 step skincare routine#sonic is definitely a scruffy little thing who damn near never brushes himself#shadow will make sure!!! that he is left shiny and smelling like freshly ironed laundry instead of dirt#idk there is something so....cute about this that i have never thought about before and i think shadow despite being a hybrid is#much better at doing things like this and less bashful compared to sonic who is just a stinky guy by default#he would be grumpy but very nurturing. i think it would give him a sense of calm to bond like this#sonics of course a little taken aback at his enthusiasm but its a pleasantly welcome surprise from someone like shadow esp#idk what level the relation between them would have to have progressed to for sth like this to even happen but yknow#simply. when he licc. it makes my heart melt#i almost cried drawing this.....i love shadow....#almost forgot to tag#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#my art
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FNAF movie Mike thinks Michael is dumb as hell
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#mike schmidt#fnaf vanessa#vanessa shelly#vanessa afton#michael afton#sister location#fnaf movie#fnaf fanart#I SAW the joke going around with Michael that like#‘why didn’t he move out the way of the scooper is he stupid’#WHICH OBVIOUSLY I LOVED and wanted to do a mini comic about#I thought like Mike would say that BAHA#MIKE would hear Michael’s story then be a smart ass and say that#it’s on brand for Mike 💀#Vanessa definitely would be more sympathetic to Michael’s story#especially seeing she can relate to the situation he was in#and Michael is just flabbergasted#probably because a5 the time he didn’t even think of dodging the scooper#Michael Afton might be a lil stupid but that’s ok 💜#we still love him 💜💜💜💜
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the crusaders do have a healer.
they don't like to talk about it.
#jjba#kakyoin noriaki#kujo jotaro#joseph joestar#muhammad avdol#daily#((bet you thought i abandoned this blog. well jokes on YOU. i havent stopped thinking about it ONCE since i started it.))#((the guilt is killing me. but not really. anyway this is 100% canon to my blog's continuity and you may quote me on that.))#((i cannot guarantee regular updates going forward but i am at the very least trying to get back on track!))#((regardless! hope you enjoy this silly joke. i spent a long time on it and i definitely had more to say about it but i forgot.))#((peace and love💚))
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#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#kim kitsuragi#harrier du bois#harry du bois#this is probably one of my fav conversations in the game...#sad that not many people get to see it(?) cause you need like 7 in empathy?#comics#comic art#trans#cw blood#blood#cw smoking#my first time making a comic i hope it looks okay lmao#ough i have so many thoughts about kim and his complicated relationship with his name#im interpreting the dialogues in a very transgender way but its definitely about his racial identity too#cause its a *seolite* name#another factor of him not being seen as a revacholian#and its one of the only things he has left of his parents too#i wonder if the name kim is seen as more masculine or feminine in seol and in other isolas?#im definitely *not* projecting haha#i read once in a fic that kim *attempted* to translate his parents' letters when he was young#10/10 fic made me cry#thats why i decided to add the seolite dictionary - i dont think kim would have *tried* to learn seolite otherwise#he definitely has some kind of internalized racism he needs to get over#sorry for rambling#my art
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based on the Billstill au by @jellynut! You guys should totally go check it out, it's so cool and angsty and somehow my monkey brain took that idea and made it Stan tormenting Bill forevermore. (This has spiraled rapidly not its own au of an au based on an earlier idea I had once) (might draw more of this au and that one who knows)
This has been going on for at least 15 hours straight, and Stan is having the time of his goddamn life watching Bill suffer
And then Bill gave Stan horrendous night terrors
And then Stan bought a giant bag of nachos and ground them up into crumbs and dumped them in the sea or some shit
Transcript and full image under cut
Bill, floating intangibly: You're a loser, Mac
Stan, looking up from his magazine: Yeah? And you're an interdimensional demon dumb enough to die in my head. You're the biggest idiot I know, and I know me
#They're so funny to me#Bill is trying so hard to break Stan and yeah the nightmares suck and stan is definitely scarred for life#But for the most part... to me at least#The Bill still au is about Stan repeatedly wrecking Bill's shit and tormenting him and having the time of his life#Bill is the real captive audience actually#They're stuck with Each Other <3 and they hate each other and it's so funny guys trust#Headcanon that Bills insults wouldn't work on stan and would actually improve his self esteem#Because Bill can't day anything Stan hasn't said about himself#And hearing this massive loser call him pathetic has to be so funny and also invalidate the negative self outlook#Like hell is he gonna agree with BILL of all people#Ford is extremely confused about Stan's sudden Nacho buying spree but then sees Stan throw them in the Sea while shouting profanities#Ofc he joins in#stanley pines#bill cipher#billstillau#I have too many thoughts about this sorry guys 😭😭#gravity falls#gravity falls au#sea grunks#stan pines#my art
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