#i definitely read more books with autistic characters but here's an even 9

[aroaessidhe]

read in 2024: autistic MCs

Compound Fracture

Key Lime Sky

Party of Fools

Model Home

Junker Seven

Daniel, Deconstructed

The Reanimator’s Heart

The Evolving Truth of Ever-Stronger Will

How To Sell Your Blood And Fall In Love

[minor-annoyance]

rate every Gordon Korman book you read, I dare you 🤠🤠🤠

OKAY OKAY SO THIS IS GONNA BE LONG

There's very small spoilers so sorry 😓

Ungifted: 11/10

I'm very biased here but I genuinely love this book. It's definitely doesn't have as that interesting of a premise compared to other books, but this book is the one that truly made me love Gordon Korman books. Also almost everyone is neurodivergent in this book

Supergifted: 6/10

The sequel to ungifted. A lot less neurodivergency. It focused a lot more on noah than donovan (I love noah, don't get me wrong, but still) and everyone was so mean to donovan in the book. Here's a list of all the NICE things people did for him in the book

Took the pressure off of him (backfires)

A hug

A GENUINE apology 🎉🎉🎉

A backhanded apology (he still accepted it)

And a medal (it makes sense in the story)

Numbers 2-5 happened in the LAST 3 CHAPTERS. Noah was extremely flanderized and all the characters from the previous book became bg characters. GK brought a bg character as a big character and he fucking sucks. No one likes you, Brad, shut up about the god damn corps. It gets a 6 bc it's ungifted. Hopefully Gordon Korman does better in the next book 🙏

Schooled: 7/10

Nice book. Not much to say about it. Capricorn is kind of bland even though he's supposed to be interesting. There's a kind of weird age gap CRUSH (very important) and a big power imbalance between two characters (bully and victim). There's another book called Old School that sounds like it's a rewrite of this book. If Gordon takes out/rewrites the weird crush and sociopathic school traditions and bullies, I'll be fine. This is the first book I read by GK so I might also be biased here.

Restart: 8.5/10

Made me really sad. I think this is one of the few books where a character cries so it got points for that. I fucking hate frank ambrose.

Whatshisface: 9/10

Oh my god I love this book. Cooper Vega might be the best and most relatable character in a Gordon Korman book. This book pulled at my heart strings. It has a much less realistic plot but it's still amazing. Roderick Northrop is my little baby. I am his parent now. It also opens up to a lot more aus.

The Unteachables: 8/10

A very sweet book. Another book where none of the characters are neurotypical. Mateo is VERY clearly autistic.

Unplugged: 8/10

Also cool. It gets WILD nearing the end. I can't talk about how good this book is without spoiling it 💔

The Superteacher Project: 8/10

This book is sweet and has an interesting premise. It kind of pisses me off bc it was written to be suspenseful and you're supposed to be surprised when it's revealed that aidact is a robot (if you haven't already guessed) BUT IT WAS SPOILED IN THE SYNOPSIS

Slugfest: 7/10

One of my least favorites. It's not as interesting as the other books and it was kind of boring. It's based around PE class so y'know

Slacker: 8/10

It was pretty hard to read at first bc it was really slow. It picks up the pace around the middle. The main character kind of sucks but it's in a good way y'know?

Level 13: 9/10

HOLY SHIT THIS WAS INSANE. This is slacker's sequel. The first book was about a gamer boy who's forced to help people with his fake club. This book is about the same kid getting STALKED AND HARRASSED by a GROWN MAN and the boy gets HOSPITALIZED. went from 0 to 100 real quick.

Linked: 8/10

This book was dark but it really was a good book. All of the kids were very realistic (for better or for worse.) Most of the characters have some problems that still aren't fixed/bettered at the end of the story. Tw for racism and white supremacy in this book.

Mixed-Up: 8.5/10

Very gay. Also a book with obviously fictional themes. Another book I cant get too much into without spoiling 😭 Deals with greif and parental death/being orphaned.

Operation Do-Over: 9/10

First off, the main character is dead. Maybe. We don't actually know bc it's left up to the reader but it's universally agreed upon that he's dead and time traveled. Good book. Wish GK showed more of Ty and Mason's friendship beyond them falling apart. I know there was that one chapter that talks about how much they cared about each other but it was all talk. No showing.

The Fort: 10/10

The might be the darkest Gordon Korman book ever. Most of the children are suffering at home and they don't deserve it (bc they're children obviously) so it really brings out my parental instincts. Tw for mentions of drug use, and depictions of domestic violence (both against a spouse and a child)

Notorious: 8/10

I am literally zeebee tice. uhhh it's kind of boring at first but it gets a big better. mainly near the end tho... I'm only really giving it an 8 bc of the main characters they're awesome. Especially zeebee. I'm zeebee. Uhh warning for mentions of crime? Also warning for possible animal murder and stalking.

Faker: 9/10

ANGST!! YAY!! Daddy issues seem to be very relevant in Gordon Korman's books. It took me a bit to get into the book but probably not for others. I also don't understand money or scams so it probably could've been a 9.5 if I did.

6th Grade Nickname Game: 8/10

Really short. Also gay. Uhh that's it

No More Dead Dogs: 8/10

Also kind of short. Uhh basically glee (I haven't watched glee my friend said this.) Father issues in the book so yay! I really want to listen to the Dead Mangoes.

The Juvie Three: 8.5/10 so far

I haven't finished this but it's cool. Obviously about crime. Duh. Warning for gangs and mention of manslaughter. Tw for mentions of child abuse.

Sorry this is so long. Love your art btw!!

Also I'm sorry I didn't get to this fast enough :(

I haven't checked Tumblr in a while

[grayintogreen]

9 FANDOM PEEPS TO GET TO KNOW BETTER

Tagged by @rubixpsyche

3 Ships You Like: Creecien (Critical Role), UraYoru (Bleach), uh… Rocketshipping (Pokémon) listen I have a lot of ships that I feel some way about. I was trying to capture a range here of dynamics across various fandoms and somehow came up with the almost the same ship three times. I just WOKE UP.

3 (Hazbin/Helluva) Ships You Like: oh lord. Idk. Obviously Huskerdust. Moxxie/Millie. Whatever Alastor and Lucifer have going on but constantly on the edge of fucking without actually fucking. I will ship nearly anything in this fandom if the artist/writer can sell it to me.

First Ship Ever: I think it was Ash/Misty, honestly. As opposed to Character I Liked/OC I made up to ship with them, which was definitely happening more often.

Last Song You Heard: Ready For This from Hazbin Hotel. It was on my general hits playlist when my dog woke me up for walkies so I guess he got pumped.

Favourite Childhood Book: GOD. I think it was Lassie Come Home. I went through an autistic period where I only read books with animals in them because I guess I didn’t relate to humans enough.

Currently Reading: Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant, which is a reread. It has the vibes I need for OWDLIF. And also I just love it.

Currently watching: I’m rewatching Helluva Boss right now but mostly I’m between shows that aren’t presently airing (Critical Role and Dimension 20) because of the brainrot.

Currently Consuming: Doritos-flavored popcorn but I’m microwaving Salisbury steak for lunch (doesn’t cook).

Currently Craving: You know the breading chips that slough off in the deep fryer at Captain D’s that are always at the bottom of your meal? Those things. Bad. Don’t fucking ask. I blame the moonshine I drank last night. I need the bits.

Oh hell I don’t know that many people in this fandom yet nor do I know who has been tagged already so if y’all get this twice, celebrate because um?? You’re loved and noticed!!!

@spoondrifts , @birdsaretoddlers , @prince-liest, @arleney , @milyavild , @genderhawk , @masterqwertster , uhhh… and @captainsparklefingers and @winekita , even though we talk every day.

[dustinslovehandles]

RIP Windham Rotunda

I know this is an AEW blog and usually happy fun/thirsty times but I don't have anywhere else to really share this.

Long story short, I wouldn't be in this fandom if it wasn't for this man. I wouldn't be going to Wembley this weekend, and I wouldn't have felt connected to my family for the first time years.

My dog adored you, and you never got to know that your promos touched even her.

I need to get some stuff off my chest in the cut below.

I don't remember how or why I stumbled across Bray and his promos, but it genuinely changed my life. Growing up, me and my brother had been huge wrestling fans. I was going through old family footage the other day and found clips of me as a 2 year old playing wrestling with my brother. Suplexs, power slams... definitely not stuff you are supposed to do as a kid at home, hah.

My brother was 9 years older than me. I remember us watching wrestling together, I remember us wrestling all the time and him trying to hold my eyelids open so I could do the Undertaker eye roll thing, hah. Me and my family would always joke that the most commonly heard phrase in our house growing up was "Paul, not on the sofa!" as he powerslammed baby me into various things, hah.

As he grew up, my brother grew out of it, but those are such strong memories of being so close to him and so loved. Some of you might be able to figure this out, reading between the lines, but my brother died. I was 13 years old when he committed suicide and I was never able to look at the things we'd shared (wrestling, yugioh, star trek) after that. Not the same way, at least.

It was some time after the lockdown, so I guess 2021? 2022? That I stumbled across Bray. I don't even know how because I wouldn't have sought it out for the reasons above. But another thing about me, my sister had been a massive fan of horror films since I was a kid. Some of the first books I read were kids horror books and I still have them to this day. When I was in my teens, my sister did a degree and ultimately a phD in ultra-violent horror films and I said alongside her, watching and analysing and giving my science input on these things. She even gave me a special thanks in her phD thesis.

My brother and sister hated each other. I was always stuck in the middle and even in death my brother made his feelings towards my sister clear. But here was Bray, combining two things that meant so much to me, that represented my siblings. I wasn't close with my sister anymore, she had moved away and moved on, so in a way I was grieving for the closeness of both my siblings. And Bray showed me both of them, both sides of myself, at the same time.

Doesn't hurt that he's gorgeous, hah. I remember looking up all the promos I could get for him on youtube. Reading about his characters over the years and catching up on everything I'd missed in wrestling. Everything I'd shut myself away from because it hurt too much. I remember a friend of mine has a 'random hot guy' thread with me and Bray was the first person I contributed to that thread.

I drank him in. I fell in love with his mind, his creativity and his storylines. And I showed my mum, because I'm autistic and hyperfixate and to be blunt, she's the only IRL person I have in my life. She didn't really get it, mostly because she was never into horror and he's not at all her type, but she loved seeing my enthusiasm and went along with it for me.

He'd just been released from WWE at the time I found his stuff, so I didn't get to see him on tv or anything. But slowly, through drinking in his matches, I learnt more about other wrestlers. I learnt about the storylines I'd missed and the people I hadn't seen and slowly, I got back into WWE and wrestling. But this time, sitting at home on the sofa with my mum, and getting to share it, and my memories of my brother, with her.

I never spent that much time around her before, never felt like we had that much in common. But now days, I spend most days a week at her place at some point. Wrestling brought us together, and made me come out of my head and into the real world, at least a little bit.

I can't tell you how excited I was when I heard Bray was going to return to the WWE. I analysed every bit of those promos with a fine tooth comb, trying to figure things out. I couldn't get enough and my mum indulged my fascination and constant rambling with amusement.

The whole time we had been watching wrestling, over a year at this point, we'd been sat at her house on the 3 seater sofa. Me at one end, her at the other, and our dog, Kiki, in the middle. Kiki loved wrestling time because it was the only time she ever got to spend with both of her mum's, snuggled up in the middle. To the point where whenever I go over now, she will say hello and have her fusses, then jump on our sofa and stare at me until we go over and watch wrestling with her.

I remember the other day, my mum said to me "Do you want to sit down and watch the wrestling then?" and Kiki got up and ran into the other room, onto her sofa and was waiting for us, all excited, heh.

She never understood the wrestling, of course. Her breed has bad eye sight and I don't think she really understands much of what a tv is about. She could obviously see the movement because she was relaxed during matches, but promos made her restless and she'd often jump off and bring us toys and try and play during them.

When Bray came back, it's the first time I've ever seen her look at the tv, nevermind stay still during a promo. But from the first notes of his new entrance tune, from the blue lights, she was transfixed. She stared directly into the tv, both ears up, and watched the whole of Bray's promo, never moving. And she did the same for all his promos. Even if she was asleep, she would wake up when she heard the music and just stare into the screen with rapt attention I've never seen her show before or after. It was beautiful.

I always wanted to tell Bray that my dog loved him. That his words spoke even across the specie barrier. I looked up so many videos of him with fans, at cons and stuff and wanted nothing more than to get to meet him some day. To tell him thank you for connecting me with my family. Thank you for showing me that there was a place for people like me in wrestling. That the two sides of myself didn't have to be opposed to each other.

I remember letting slip once, when I saw Bray in his Fiend gear, that he looked like how -I- wanted to look. Especially when I was a teenager. My mum was confused by this, and it was the first time I ever mentioned to her about my gender feelings. I took my mum to Pride with me the last couple of years, she has a 'Proud Mum' t shirt she wears. I got that, in part, because of Bray.

I always described him as my favourite wrestler. My mum used to say that was why Kiki loved him so much.

Bray, I always wanted to meet you. To tell you how much you meant to me. I never got the chance and now I never will.

Through my renewed love of wrestling, I eventually found AEW. I found Chuck Taylor and the Best Friends, and I finally had the courage to join in with something. I've never joined a fandom before, and I was shaking like a leaf when I made this account. I still get super anxious sometimes.

But you all made me feel welcome, and I've ever made friends here. I did something I was scared of doing because of him. I've been facing my fears IRL too and trying to move forwards at my own pace, my own way, even if it doesn't seem like enough for some people.

Thank you Bray, for everything. For connecting me to my brother, my sister and my mother. For making me fall in love with wrestling again. For giving me friends, a community, a fandom and helping me face my fears.

You were only 3 years older than me. We were robbed of your brilliance.

Rest in Peace Windham Rotunda.

[hashtagloveloses]

Hello!!! I've been thinking of getting into the star wars books, and as a star wars fan, do you have any recommendations? I think I'd prefer the more recent ones but whatever you recommend I will look into!

OOOOO yes ive read a lot of them! ive read most of the new canon (not legends), but im reading chronologically so i havent finished the new republic era, and i havent even GOTTEN to the comics yet, but these are my recommendations:

1. the two padme books (queens shadow and queens peril) and the ahsoka book are TOP TIER shit. TOP TIER.

2. i love master and apprentice with all my heart. it connects well with Dooku: Jedi Lost, which is a full cast audiobook, which i have mixed feelings about but i LOOOOVE dooku so definitely worth your time.

3. The canon Thrawn books (not the old ones) are really phenomenal. The first two in the trilogy are just TOP tier and like....lord Thrawn/Eli is my life even though they’re too cowards to do it, and the “prequel” books to the Thrawn trilogy have started coming out as well (the Ascendancy books). They’ve adapted these into comics as well I think!

4. The Rogue One prequel Catalyst is phenomenal. Some of the best autistic-coded representation I’ve ever seen (not real representation, but still pretty good) for Galen, and really interesting stuff there. The other Rogue One prequel, Rebel Rising, is also decent, although Jyn is not the most compelling character, and I don’t love some implications about Saw (again, a victim of the original film not being written by a woman, and an overarching Star Wars issue politically with Saw, but a good book).

5. Dark Disciple is a wonderful book and lord I love Ventress and Quinlan Vos, but I don’t blame the author for the ending. No spoilers, and I love Maul dearly, but Dave Filoni’s insistence on bringing Maul back to the expense of Ventress really shows here. This book is based on some of the unfinished stuff that was planned for her storyline when TCW was cancelled for a few years.

6. Lords of the Sith isn’t one of my favorites but it is really really good! Same with Tarkin - hateful fucking character but really decent book, and I think there’s a b-plot involving a Rebels Imperial character

7. Most Wanted, the Solo prequel is actually pretty good. Again, a victim of the movie not having much to go on, especially with Qi’ra, but good writing.

8. Lando’s Luck is PHENOMENAL. People don’t talk about it enough because it’s for slightly younger readers but I love it SO SO SO MUCH. (There’s a second book in this series about Hondo Onaka called Pirate’s Price too!)

9. A New Dawn is absolutely top tier shit. What can I say? Kanera is life.

10. A lot of people will tell you Lost Stars is their favorite. It has some really cool characters, romantic writing and interesting concept, but the political implications of it really rubbed me the wrong way. I wanted better. I have a complex relationship with it.

11. The two Battlefront books are shit tier sorry I hate them sorry to people who like them do NOT bother

12. Leia Princess of Alderaan is really good! Although it insists on confirming Leia is straight for some reason. Holdo is in it! And Bail and Breha! It’s a good one.

13. I haven’t read Guardians of the Whills yet but friends who have say it’s wonderful!

14. Heir to the Jedi is just so fucking bad do NOT read it

15. Doctor Aphra is another full cast audiobook and based on a beloved comics character so I haven’t read it yet but I hear it is good!

16. Hot take, I’m really sorry, but the Alphabet Squadron/Shadow Fall/Victory’s Price trilogy is bad and boring and I hated it and I know some people like it but again, some political issues I have and also very boring

17. The Aftermath books are fucking shit tier. I’m sorry. Chuck Wendig I already hate him for various reasons, but GOD they really highlight the MESS that was the setup for the sequels era (which isn’t all his fault), they’re just blatantly misogynist (and RACIST?) at some points, and the omission of certain characters does NOT make sense. Truly a case of when will this man stop writing women. Also a stupid idea to give the BIGGEST Star Wars question “what happened to the Empire after ROTJ” to like ONE man. That being said, there are some good things in there, some little snippets. Cobb Vanth from Mandalorian is from these books! And there’s other little things.

18. Last Shot is PHENOMENAL. Absolutely god tier Hanlando content. Han as a dad. Hijinks. Good shit. Not enough Han and Lando actually being lovers but u know I ask for too much lol. Also L337 is a lesbian in it.

19. Haven’t read Poe Dameron Free Fall or Resistance Reborn yet but I hear they’re good and there’s a tiny bit of Finnpoe food

20. Bloodline.....whew I do NOT like some choices in here. Good writing, tremendous Hanleia content. Some really heart wrenching shit. But bad political implications and some dumb shit involving Ben Solo that’s just illogical. Worth reading though!

21. There is SO little Finn content it makes my heart hurt but make sure you read Before the Awakening!

22. I haven’t read Phasma, Cobalt Squadron, Black Spire, or Crash of Fate, but I hear they’re really good!

23. Force Collector is really good and apparently it got so close to the actual plot of TROS the LFL Story Group had to tell the author to go in a different direction. I think it’s really cute!

i’ve read most of these from my library using Libby, and most as audiobooks. the Ahsoka and Padme books have their original TCW voice actors and are really good. Some other ones the narration especially from men is bad. It’s up to you!

[reynie-muldoons]

'Depends on the Wagon' liveblog!

I saw someone do timestamps in their liveblog and it was absolutely lovely, so I think I'll try that too

1:55 why does Curtain sound like an mlm ceo LMAO

2:07 WOW ASSHOLE 😂😂 waving off your own teacher when he was complimenting you is not the vibe

2:17 so Dr. Curtian is only available through chain emails. Got it.

2:27 he seems like the kind of asshole to say that people on welfare are lazy and exploitave but then like, not pay his taxes

2:42 I DON'T LIKE HOW HE SAID THAT, THAT WAS CREEPY

2:47 oooooh Constance, always asking the right questions

3:05 Kate, why are you yelling, it's literally past curfew 😂

3:35 oh hai Jackson.. gtfo

4:22 oh yeah, the best way out is through the hallway that Jackson just entered. Good plane, babe.

4:25 soooo Kate Depending On Friends arc :)

4:59 AYYY HI RHONDA!!

5:13 why do I kinda fucking love then all deciphering the Morse code together

5:20 so the kids use the gemini riddle? Not the adults???

5:36 his face when he figures it out 😭😭😭

5:46 Nathaniel? Guess that's Dr. Curtain's name now. Less ridiculous than Ledroptha, but you dont get the badass Let Drop the Curtain reference

6:53 okay so no one knew he had a brother? But he did???

7:21 his faaaace 🥺

7:29 AWWW HE COULDNT BRING HIMSELF TO SHARE 😭😭😭 okay I'm kinda on board with the change if they can make it work in the long-haul

7:42 hi Milligan, good timing 😂

7:56 "not the time.........I'll take a dozen" Number Two my LOVE

8:23 interesting. I dont think Mr. Benedict was adopted in the books? He certainly didn't let Violet's family, the Hopefields, because he knew their financial troubles would be even worse. So who?

8:54 ohhhh dear, stages of grief at work. Maybe don't do that

9:05 I talked about this in the MBS discord server, but I think the show is really nailing Mr. Benedict's feelings. He's always been an emotional person, but he has to be so careful. Bottling up your feelings only leads to bigger feelings later. It makes so much sense for Mr. Benedict to be a whirlpool of strong, repressed emotions.

9:11 MILLIGAN'S FACE JAHAHS

9:34 RHONDA'S FACE HAGSKDGDJ

9:40 Mr. Benedict, sweetheart 🥺❤

10:01 "brothers stick together" why does it sound like he's talking about Reynie here 😭😭😭😭

10:12 that is a good ass point, Mr. Benedict already lied to them once

10:21 it makes sense for Sticky to be the one questioning the most because of his anxiety, but damn

10:46 AWWWWWW

10:56 KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT

11:00 I dont like how aggressive Kate is but it makes sense considering she's been in the circus for years, taking care of herself for far longer than she hasn't. She's not good at depending on people, and she's not good with difficult people.

11:10 Yeahh, Constance gets it!

11:40 Yeahhh, Constance gets it

12:55 that teacher seemed pretty nice last episode, nice to see that they're not what they seem just the same as Dr. Curtain lol

13:28 CONSTANCE I LOVE YOU 😂😂

14:00 "check again" okay so Krista from the tests and Martina give off the same vibe.. perfect 😂

14:16 "yeah......hang in there :D"

15:05 all of the apologies to the general class.. he's such an anxious sweetheart. He's really reading as autistic to me.

My sister just called me 😑 it's like 8 am, I answered her like "did you ever consider that you might be waking me up?" She did not consider that 😂

15:22 Martina's face just growing more and more annoyed and disgruntled HAHA

15:29 that was CORRECT?? WHAAAA

15:51 throwback to when I compared Dr. Curtain to an mlm ceo.. definitely like a cult

16:44 ohhhh Martina

17:30 CONSTANCE HEARING VOICES HELLOOOOO

18:22 ayyyyyy helper man

18:40 he seems too cheery to be a helper .-. The helpers all being super sad made [redacted]'s story make a whole lot more sense

19:35 aaaand now we get to it. You know, it really does seem a lot more cultish on screen than in the book

19:53 WAIT CONSTANCE GOOD JOB PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER 😂😂😂😂

19:53 that cut to Milligan making that exact face was INCREDIBLE

20:05 was he tryna leave? Yeah, good fuckin luck bucko

20:10 "critical papers at home" my ass, they packed everything up

20:24 the stages of grief back at it. 🥺

20:38 their relationship >>>>

21:00 "located in the..?" *description of envelope* "located in the....?" *more description* "located in the????" 😂😂😂😂

21:34 ohhhhh Thursday must be the student ranking day

21:56 Martina seems like the kind to throw out "pick a god and pray" as a crit quote 😂

22:07 I don't see any of the Society'a names on the list. Maybe they havent been there long enough

22:17 OH SHIT JK THERE THEY ARE

22:25 ohh Kate and Constance

22:55 the combination of the ferry horn and the bell makes it weirdly grim

23:55 them bringing Kate up and reminding her that she's needed 😌✨

24:29 hi Milligan bb ilyyyy

24:35 real good lookout guys, y'all are so well hidden

24:52 AYY HE'S DOING IT KATE STYLE

26:31 "visionary" is a word for it

26:31 I really kinda love that Number Two and Rhonda are going to such depths to try and help Mr. Benedict figure this out for sure

26:56 Mr. Benedict fully walking away while they talk about his brothers accomplishments 😂 I'm laughing, but poor guy

27:08 his FACE 🥺

27:28 HERE'S THAT TANTRUM FROM THE TRAILER

27:28 take your guesses how many times will he fall asleep

27:50 "he just has to work through some things" you dont fuckin say

27:55 you mean to tell me he had a full blown meltdown and they didn't show him falling asleep once??

28:35 like father like daughter 😌✨

29:10 ayyyy secret desk compartment

29:19 honestly I'm surprised there were actually papers he needed and it wasnt an excuse to go confront Dr. Curtain

29:32 oh shit, how'd they manage to get that far inside? No one was there to guard it, but the maze itself is a security measure

29:42 KATE STYLE STRIKES AGAIN

29:47 ooooh I like Dr. Curtain's office

30:01 WAS THAT SQ AND DID HE JUST CALL DR. CURTAIN HIS DAD

30:41 birds have careers. Got it 😂

30:50 JOURNAAAL

31:02 the fox?? Reynard the fox???

31:27 ohhh here we go, Dr. Curtain sees himself in Reynie only to resent it later

31:37 Mr. Benedict called Reynie a leader once too.. the parallels have ✨begun✨

32:12 is this the "keep your enemies close" conversation??

32:15 I'm honestly surprised he called him Sticky and not George

32:42 IT IS SQ IT IS SQ IT IS SQ

32:59 sooo that starts by not letting his caution down with you

33:11 Dr. Curtain congratulating himself mid-conversation on saying something deep is so in character

33:20 "I was betrayed by someone very close to me" so that was Mr. Benedict. Who the fuck else would it be

33:23 WHAT DID I SAAAAY

33:31 oh noooo Reynie starts doubting Mr. Benedict here? Is that the move?

33:43 that transition was so pretty stoppp

33:53 again how hasn't he fallen asleep

34:55 ayyyy journal snooping

35:05 Constance, my love, you are cut throat

35:11 Milligan is in the DRYWALL? ohh buddy be careful

35:21 omfg are they talking about water polo 😂 I love that that's the sport of choice

35:51 ayyyy they put the Milligan dots together too. Shame the guy's not with them rn

36:36 so Mr. Benedict brings up cheating first? I really like how we get to see the adults riddling out what to send back, we didn't get that at all in the books

37:46 I LOVE THAT THEY KEPT "don't get caught"

38:51 Kate riddling out the island schematics engineer style is so like her

39:07 they're just walking out the door?? Huh???

39:29 babe... turn off your flashlight

39:33 AND THAT'S WHY

39:58 is that the precursor to chuckroot?

40:38 the papers were from his orphanage 🥺🥺🥺

41:14 why does that break my heart

41:19 Dr. Curtain and SQ doing shit together it just.. so heartwarming

42:00 HAHA

42:16 okay, so show!Curtain is a kissass 😂

42:35 wait wait wait so Dr. Curtain is actively trying to contain his brother? That would explain why the Recruiters were looking for him and weirdly not the kids

43:25 "power wants to be free" sounds more like a personal mantra than a conversation between engineers

43:41 YES A LETTER TO MISS PERUMAL

44:02 more voices. Poor Connie girl 🥺

44:36 he loves her so much 😭😭😭

44:45 SHE TRIED TO SEND HIM A CARE PACKAGE

45:13 WORRIED MOM TIMEEE

[creacherkeeper]

Welcome to the tOH fandom!! What do you think of ADHD! Luz (and maybe Eda too!) and autistic!Amity (and maybe Lilith as well)?

thank you!! okay listen this show is so so good for ND headcanons WEIRDOS GOTTA STICK TOGETHER and im like *cries* yea 

adhd luz is great. i love it. she’s eager and never runs out of energy, strong emotions & very expressive, can definitely act immature for her age (i saw something saying she’s 14 but idk if thats canon?), has a hyperfixation on learning magic & her azura books. her inability to choose a magic track i would argue could be read as indecisiveness or decision paralysis. and sometimes her own feelings cause her to miss cues from others (like with eda, amity, & king at the carnival). even the way she has to learn magic works as a metaphor - the way other people learn doesnt work for her so she has to adapt and have accommodations (something to draw on). we also see a few instances that suggest she’s not good at reading how trustworthy people are 

im totally down for adhd eda but i think i like autistic eda better. she has unusual style (the ripped dress, big earrings, gold tooth - not to mention the times she puts on ‘human fashion’). her speaking voice is unusual too, but is often at a flat effect (absolutely not a dig at the actress i’ve had a crush on her since i was like 9). special interest in owls & weird human objects. learns differently & thinks outside the box, but is still extremely gifted as a witch, she just has to do things her own way. uneven motor skills - very powerful witch & good at sports but also like, just fumbles her staff all the time. seems to get along better with demons (king, hooty, and i’ll count owlbert here too) over other humanoids. did NOT fit in at school. has trouble connecting to and empathizing with people, often says rude things whether she means to or not. tends to show affection through gestures (training, making the cloak) over words or physical affection. does NOT understand why she should have to follow the rules (school, witchcraft, society at large) because they seem arbitrary to her 

also - not an nd headcanon and FAR from a perfect metaphor - but my chronically ill ass was just sitting there like 8O SHE HAS TO TAKE HER MEDS OR SHE’LL GO INTO A FLARE and i was just pretty excited about that 

jury is still out on lilith for me. i can see autistic lilith though. she’s got flat effect, dulled emotional expression, gifted in her craft, trouble seeing eda’s pov, seems to be low empathy, and from what we see may be fairly gullible. i need to see more screen time from her before i make it an Official Headcanon though. 100% up to hearing other peoples arguments about this 

amity is a little harder for me but here’s my headcanon (cw child abuse) 

she very well could be autistic. i didnt get a strong Vibe from her one way or the other. but her behavior, to me at least, seems to line up a lot more strongly with childhood trauma. specifically parental abuse. granted we haven’t seen much of her parents yet, but that’s the vibe i got and i’ll explain why 

amity is extremely driven and perfectionistic, but it does not seem like she’s self-motivated. it seems like she’s trying to live up to her parents high and strict expectations of her. she wants to be friends with willow, and then later luz, but she can only keep the friends her parents deem are worthy - theyre controlling of her social interactions far more than is normal. she has very low tolerance for her own mistakes, and gets extremely upset when she’s embarrassed or gets into trouble. to me that’s a thing a kid learns at home - mistakes are a big deal (and could be punished in some manner). she’s very awkward at trying to make real friends, which makes me think she doesnt have good role models & her emotional development was not prioritized. in the beginning we see her bully people and gee wonder where she learned that. when she’s training, it’s not her parents or even lilith who are training her - its her older siblings who she doesnt get along with and dont even seem to be on the same track as her? so even though expectations for her as a witch are extremely high, the actual adults are neglecting to help her 

when both lilith and eda cheat at the covention duel - amity doesn’t get upset at lilith. she gets upset at luz who is not an adult and is an easy target. lilith and eda are really the ones that embarrassed her, but she doesn’t feel she can get angry at either of them and takes out her emotions lower in the pecking order. we also see that she quit grudgby forever because she accidentally hurt her teammates - which makes me think her anxiety & guilt in general is pretty high. when she does decide luz is cool, she gets Very Attached Very Fast which can definitely be a trauma thing - here is a Safe Person i am now incredibly invested in. when they go into willow’s memories, she’ll do anything to keep luz from seeing how she hurt willow, probably because she’s afraid luz will be disappointed in her (and what? abandon her for not being perfect?) and even her parents in the memory are just shadowy figures and not real people. her biggest fear (which, yes cute gay stuff was happening) is being rejected, which makes me think besides the grom there is an actual threat of that in her life

so ALL IN ALL yes some of these things overlap with autism & i definitely wouldnt argue against an autism headcanon, but to me this just is so strongly childhood trauma stuff that i personally wouldnt hc autism until i know more 

also LITERALLY ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE ND thank you for coming to my ted talk good day 

[starlit-pathways]

rules: tag people you would like to know/catch up with❤️

thank you so much @faeinthefog for tagging me, you have such incredible taste???? (as always) also, brb adding piranesi to my already-too-long tbr list

...speaking of lists that are far too long!! *cracks knuckles* let's get down to business!!!!

last song: excluding my many varied writing playlists, then probably eclipse by moonbyul or love poem by iu, including my writing playlists then this was my last listen

last movie: the prom. didn't personally vibe with it but i know it meant a lot to some (personally, i feel like a lot of what it was trying to do has already been done better by other films—like ek ladki ko dekha toh aisa laga). it had very pretty colours in it?? and i definitely wouldn't pass up the chance to play emma in an actual musical, but i feel like the story itself is too much of "aaaaand THIS is how the Gay Struggle™‬ applies to the average straight person!!!" which I don't even mind in a story that's done WELL (again, see ek ladki ko dekha toh aisa laga, or even one of my favourite books; the seven husbands of evelyn hugo) but i don't personally feel like it was done well enough here to pass it off

currently watching: oh no. a LOT. uhhhh okay let's try counting

1) godless—a miniseries on netflix which is v. good and very beautiful; essentially a story about fatherhood, masculinity and the loss/lack of it in a historical "wild west" type setting (it's a lot more diverse than it sounds. i promise.)

2) the fresh prince of bel-air—i shouldn't have to describe this one to many people lol, but it's basically a comedy about a quick-witted, very street-smart boy who goes to live with his very wealthy and privileged family in bel-air. it's very funny, and very heartwarming but i'm only a couple episodes in so far.

3) my mister—i'm only a few episodes into this drama myself but. damn. it's a show about two very broken, wearied people whose lives are falling apart in different ways (a very principled slightly older man, and a very... alternatively principled younger woman), who find each other and help each other heal. i've seen their relationship described as "everything but romantic", though the subject of romance and the nature of their relationship is questioned in the show and sometimes by the two characters

4) taskmaster—this one's just FUN, and also quite honestly pure chaos. i'm trading favourite shows with a friend, and damn if i'm not having a blast with this one. it's basically about a group of comedians who get given a set of tasks/challenges to do, to see who does them best—it has the exact same vibe of the joke "how many comedians does it take to change a lightbulb?". if nobody watches anything else of the show, i implore them to at LEAST watch this tree wizard clip. it's a masterpiece.

5) rick and morty—probably not my favourite type of show (monster of the week's not my usual style), but still good if you're it's intended audience. trading this with another friend, and i'm very much enjoying the experience of trash-talking all of the adult characters every episode with them.

6) mr. iglesias—this one's a very new addition. am also watching it with a friend. comedy about found family in a classroom full of underprivileged kids and the one teacher who really cares about them. i like it! i love marisol a lot as a character and mr. iglesias is very wholesome

re-watching:

7) the untamed—i'm going to be watching this show in some capacity for the rest of my life. i'm on my seventh watch by now and it never diminishes in quality. it's a truly epic introspective character exploration, about a quick-minded, entirely chaotic and very free-spirited man who dies and comes back in quite literally the opening moments of the show. you get to see his descent from being the world's envy to being the world's villain. it's a wonderful fantasy series about perception, the nature of morality, of family (born, raised and chosen) and about building a better world. did i mention that the main character is—as far as chinese censorship laws would allow—very bisexual and the story very heavily features a love story between him and another man? this was the edit that got me into it (it has spoilers but without context it won't make any sense anyway)

8) healer—what a drama. this is all about the power of information—how being informed and making information available can heal a nation that was built to be corrupt. starring a character who is basically a man who is a much poorer batman (kind of like a batman for hire?) with superman's love life (the show's got one of the best and most valid love triangles i've ever seen—and that's coming from somebody who typically HATES love triangles with a burning passion) and a woman who is feisty and strong-willed but not in an overbearing way? as well as amazing action, from somebody who normally can't stand action. i love the chemistry between the two romantic leads and just. i love the three leading characters, and a great deal of the periphery ones a lot. this show is absolutely incredible, would highly recommend

9) it's okay to not be okay/psycho but it's okay—a show that says neurodivergency and found family rights!!!! it's a very healing and introspective drama, but equally very intense/gripping/interesting? the chemistry between the two leads is astounding, and i just really love the amount of empathy this show has? it's truly stunning to watch and experience. starring an absolute badass of a woman, who acts almost entirely on impulse and communicates with the world through storytelling and fairytales, alongside a very kind and nurturing man who doesn't know how to communicate when he's miserable and an autistic man, who struggles deeply with his own fight for independence (i wasn't too sure on him at first, but he grows into just as much of an equally important character as the other two and i loved his arc).

currently reading: the earthsea quartet, by ursula le guin—i'm really loving it! it's probably not one of my favourites (yet), but she has such an interesting way of building up her world, and there's such a strong sense of compassion in every word she writes.

also i've recently found and fallen in love with this fic series. it's very nsfw and modern au's aren't usually my thing for historical (or even semi-historical) fiction/fantasy, but there's just something about sex worker!wei wuxian and translator!(and also secret fashion nerd!)lan wangji both being absolute disasters and also really cute and really repressed but also being neurodivergent and disabled characters (i'm SO here for autistic!lan wangji, traumatised!wei wuxian and chronically ill!yanli all being happy) and getting therapy that really appeals to me.

currently craving: crisps. always. of the salt and vinegar variety (this specific variety especially), of course, but there's never a day that passes when i'm not craving crisps

this was really fun!!! now for the worst part of this............ tagging. OKAY. so... please know that nobody is under any obligation to do, or even acknowledge, this—and also, if i missed you, you see this and you WANT to, then consider the act of seeing/hearing this a formal invitation

@ethereal-sserendipity @lillb5678 @genericfandomusername456 @mars-aria @ikatella @juliedohbigny @multiplequestionmarks @itiredwriter @myrim-anna-rose @gaysofmyheart

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

[quillwritten]

25 Questions Tag

I was tagged by the wondeful @jaimistoryteller so here’s what I’ve got:

1. Is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

Oh my gosh, so many. I just don’t have the time or the energy or the storage on my computer for all the stories I want to tell.

2. What work of yours, if any, are you embarrassed about existing?

Some of my first works of fanfiction I really hate so much that it hurts to think about but I was only a baby writer and that’s really what most first fics end up being like so I won’t take them down bc some people seem to still like them even if I have no idea why (but I will not be telling you any more about what they are or where to access them).

3. What order do you write in? Front of book to back? Chronological? Favorite scenes first? Something else?

I used to write chronologically unless I had a burning need to write one particular scene or paragraph but with Silverstorm I’ve worked more on the scenes that interest me and hop around when I’m bored; if I’m not enjoying the scene, the likelihood is that neither will my readers.

4. Favorite character you’ve written?

How can you ask me this? but it’s Elva. I really want to work more with her and I’m currently tossing around the idea of saving her story for my dissertation at uni. There just needs to be so much more incidental autistic represention (tbh there needs to be more autistic representation full stop.)

5. Character you were most surprised to end up writing?

Probably Tom Pepper. He started as a kind of placeholder for all the other kids at the academy and was supposed to be really oblivious in general but he’s grown into quite a perceptive young man -- except in the case of politics, but we all have our faults.

6. Something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

Nothing, really. There are lots and lots of things that are complicated to change but I’m not even finished my first draft -- there’s plenty of time the fix the things that aren’t working.

7. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

I’m definitely enthusiastic to tell people I write. I’m less enthusiastic when they ask what it’s about because then my brain forgets all the words it’s ever learned, let alone good words for describing the novel.

8. Favorite genre to write

Definitely fantasy. This world and it’s rules aren’t enough for me.

9. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Mostly it’s listening to the playlists the amazing @ava-burton-writing made for me for my characters. That really helps a lot. Otherwise it’s reading books that have a similar sort of theme because it can get me worked up and excited for doing that thing better and in my own way in my writing.

10. Write in silence or with background music? Alone or with others?

Usually silence because my brain gets distracted easily but sometimes no sound feels weird so I put something on in the background. Usually film scores or the character playlists.

11. What aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

Everything has improved because that’s what practise and experience does. I don’t know what’s improved the most.

12. Your weaknesses as an author?

Long, long, long sentences and paragraphs. I’m working on it.

13. Your strengths as an author?

I think I’m pretty good with characterisation, but I don’t really know.

14. Do you make playlists for your work?

I don’t understand playlists if I’m honest. That’s what I have Ava for.

15. Why did you start writing?

I’ve always wanted to tell stories. My only two dreams ever in life have been to be an author and a performer. I’m still determined to fulfil both of those dreams.

16. Are there any characters who haunt you?

One character still haunts me in the painful ‘omg I can’t believe I wrote this character so badly’ way and she’s from one of the aforementioned fanfics.

17. If you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Ignore assholes who try telling you “their way to write is the right way” also ignore pricks who tell you “you have to use it for those who are not male or female”

Oh wait, fledgling author me already did that, which is why I use zhe/zher/zhers/zherself.

18. Were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? What were they?

The idea of Harry Potter definitely influenced me possibly too much but I’m not the biggest fan of J K Rowling herself (#avatoreplacejkr2k18) so I’m using my own style and actually including diversity and making it all better.

19. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

...I don’t. Okay but for real I have like seven different places I make notes and then I try to collate them in scrivener and then I forget so I never know where that one particular note is and have to look in every place until I find it.

20. Do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

I used to be really good at long sit-down sessions but I’ve been really struggling lately and not writing much at all.

21. What do you think when you read over your older work?

Usually my first reaction is cringing embarrassment but I’m working on appreciating my old work more because it shows how much I’ve improved and I did think it was good when I wrote it so at least someone enjoyed it, even if that someone was only me at the time of writing.

22. Are there subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

Yes.

23. Any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

Many. 

(This isn’t so much helping my writing but I’ve just come back from a hen weekend where there were three women who all had the same first, second, and surnames and someone said ‘honestly, you couldn’t write stuff like this’ which was meant in a jokey reality is stranger than fiction way but all I can say is watch out for characters with the same names in my works from now on)

24. Have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Not really an expert. I’m a bit of a lazy write, I admit, and whilst I do lots of research, I tend to stick to things I either know or can make up.

25. Copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of.

This is a bit I’ve shared before as part of a large excerpt but I really love it:

Avery realised why no one was calling her out for not sleeping on her second night out of the medical room: they weren’t sleeping either. She went wandering at three in the morning and found Sorrel in the cloisters calling all manner of animals to him and getting them to fight a glowing blue dummy. Avery watched in silence, her throat tight, and crept away without saying anything. The next night she woke up to Elva biting her lip as a vine twisted its way through the window and across the bed. “Sorry,” she signed. “Go back to sleep.” Avery shrugged “I had a nightmare anyway. I’m gonna take a walk.” “Again?” “Yeah. I won’t stay out too late.” When Avery found Anita in a philtre classroom with a cauldron bubbling on the table, she dragged a hand across her face and blinked away the sting behind the bridge of her nose.

I tag: @sapphicauthor @quecksilvereyes @ava-burton-writing and @boothewriter

[televinita]

Library Triage

Speaking of my incompetence, I managed to accidentally check out an avalanche of super-awesome-looking/hotly anticipated books with fairly restrictive deadlines toward the beginning of a 10-day hell period at work where I had no time to start them. I am almost out of it now, but they are basically all due by or before the end of June and my brain is spinning out trying to fathom how I am going to organize my reading schedule without rushing and ruining the books for myself, SO, time for project Talk It Out Concretely!

(or. you know. even more ramblingly than usual)

Starting with an achievement: Last night I finally had time to finish Fanny Fran Davis’ Everything Must Go, an absolutely delightful romp which was on its final renewal and only a week away from being due. Prior to that I was working on it in 15-minute breaks at work and 1+ minute stoplights on the commute to work. (seriously. thumbs up to its format.)

SO, HIGH ON THAT:

1. A & L Do Summer - Jan Blazanin: This is a book that Goodreads has been recommending to me for 5 years. I always thought it looked cute, but maybe not substantial, so I kept putting it off because it required an ILL request. But next week’s Top Ten Tuesday prompt is “books to read by the beach,” and I saw this on my recs list again and went, “You know what? This is exactly that kind of book. This is exactly the right time of year to finally read it. I want juvenile cuteness that lets me vicariously be 15 (17 apparently?) again with months of freedom ahead to enjoy in a rural Midwest setting.” I’m struggling with whether to read this or the next book first, but I think this one will go quicker. Due 7/2, like the next two. 

[edit: I waited until the day before it was due, for some reason, but it was everything I wanted it to be!]

2. Like Mandarin - Kirsten Hubbard. Another book GR has been recommending to me for 5 years, another one that needed an ILL request. I figured I’d send away for them both together because of sort of similar themes in girl-bonding and rural locales, though this looks much more serious. It’s  always caught my eye; there’s just something about the "young high schooler latches onto/idolizes Cool Senior High Schooler" concept that appeals to me -- oh, and only JUST NOW did I realize it's by the same author as my beloved Wanderlove! Definitely loving it now. Definitely.

[edit: accurate]

3. Heart-Shaped Hack - Tracey Garvis-Graves: After rereading The Island for the first time in 6 years and remembering how much I loved that romance/had anticipated more work from her, I saw this and immediately went, “I could cast Waige in this.” I am coming to the conclusion that this is untrue, because Mr. Hacker is turning out to be way too cocky for any character I’ve ever liked, but if I re-calibrate my expectations for what is actually being offered, I still feel like I will love this. And if that’s the case...there is a sequel. (which unfortunately would have to come rather far down on this list)

[edit: really should have waited for the sequel in hand! I think it will be better; this was good but rather more, uh, adult-romance-y than I expected so I’d like to at least see them in a higher stakes plot]

4. Going Geek - Charlotte Huang: technically due first, on 6/23 and it’s an ILL so getting it back is tough. BUT I am less interested in it than any of the 3 above, so if I don’t through at least 2 of them first, I’ll let this one go with no remorse. I only requested it because it seemed similar to Life in Outer Space, but that one was wholly satisfying on its own. This does look like a solid YA novel, but it doesn’t have a special hook, and I am up to my ears in Hook Books.

[edit: I made time! Glad I did; it was better than I expected it to be]

5. The Broken Girls - Simone St. James: Not a specific craving right now, but I have been on a wait list since it was released and mentally waiting since November because I love a good thriller with a mystery from the past & an abandoned building -- and then I forgot to suspend my hold and it came in before I was ready. Also due 6/23, and still hotly requested. I am probably gonna lose my shot to read this on time and have to wait another 4-6 weeks, but at least it’s in my home system.

[edit: I made time! Barely took me 10 pages to get addicted; SO WORTH IT.]

6. Learning to Stay - Erin Celello: This popped when I was looking for novels with brain-damaged spouses. I was looking for Waige-related reasons, and with the veteran angle this isn’t going to work for them, but its premise is irresistible to me and I have a suspicion who it’s perfect for: Barbie/Julia (with begrudging thanks for season 3 of Under the Dome for actively showing me what it could look like). Not due until July 8 and will probably delay it until after #7, actually, because I’m having trouble focusing on other ships right now, even ones I adore.

[edit: well done, though I couldn’t keep my characters straight because there was an annoying lot to match up with my original pick, so I kept unintentionally running everything twice.]

7. Shine Shine Shine - Lydia Netzer: All right, full disclosure -- this one is my final, brightest and best attempt to find Walter/Paige (complete with a Ralph!) in a novel. I am setting myself up to fail, in part because the premise includes the idea that the central female character is kind of off in her own way. But like. How else* was I supposed to react to “genius engineer husband whose wife has 'taught him to feel -- helped him translate his intelligence for numbers into a language of emotion‘ + autistic son”???

(*alternate option for how else: I’ve got Happy in my back pocket: As children, the temperamental Sunny and the neglected savant Maxon found an unlikely friendship no one else could understand. Even the ironic name fits!)

This one just got here and I’ll pick it up in a few days. It’s a home system request, but we only have one copy and I already had to wrestle it away from someone who kept it 2 days overdue* so we might tussle again. (*you might be asking yourself why I did that, given the state of this post. I don’t know either. I was in a feverish delirium of reading desire by that point and every book I found online looked more imperative to get immediately than the last, but I was stuck waiting for all of them).

[edit: it was beautiful and I have so many favorite quotes and I cried a lot and it was worth it even if only one character lined up well; the pair won my heart on their own merit.]

8. 45 Pounds (More or Less) - K.A. Barson: a cute YA novel about an overweight girl trying (or at least being pestered by her mother) to lose weight. I’ve been saving it for motivation for when I actually attempt to exercise / not eat like crap this summer. This, like the remaining books, has essentially no due date since no one is likely to request them out from under me even once I return them.

[edit: tossed back unread for the time being. too many shiny new things appeared.]

9. Voracious: a hungry reader cooks her way through great books - Cara Nicoletti: this is either going to help the above plan or hurt it, but it’s such a great premise, especially as someone who once considered starting a side blog devoted to highlighting passages in books that describe great meals. I am not actually sure if I will finish it at all. But I’d like to try. 

[edit: see above.]

10. Shelf Discovery: The Teen Classics We Never Stopped Reading: this book was mentioned in a review for one of the lesser-known books in it; I forget which one, but it intrigued me because there are TONS of titles in here that aren’t usually mentioned in online lists like this, and I love when people talk about books I have actually loved instead of pretending that Catcher in the Rye and The Perks of Being a Wallflower are the best examples of universal YA literature we can find.

(What’s most likely going to happen is I’m going to read 3 chapters and then wig out about how many I haven’t read and put it back until I have, so I can enjoy the comparisons in our reactions instead of being unduly influenced, but... )

11. Sixteen: short stories by outstanding writers for young adults: Absolutely lowest priority, probably will never get to it, but if I had no other reading responsibilities right now? I would be reading it now. I spotted this when I went to pick up the above, and I don’t even usually like short stories, but this is a compilation of outstanding writers for young adults IN THE 1980S.  And there is a very specific style to young adult books from the 1980s that sometimes, I just absolutely crave. Let me give you more of its description: Stories dealing with teenage concerns, written especially for this collection by well-known authors of young adult novels such as the Mazers [that would be Harry and Norma Fox], M.E. Kerr, Robert Cormier, Bette Greene, and Richard Peck. Biographical sketches for each author are included, as well as follow-up activities for the reader. Me, gesticulating wildly at basically all these names: I KNOW THEM! (as authors, I mean. Once upon a time the library’s teen section was full of their work and I devoured it as voraciously as the newer stuff)

[edit: it was short, so I read it and am glad I did.]

========

AND AS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED: THERE ARE STILL MORE I WANT, but I can’t think about them right now.

[undervaluedagent]

1) I got my diagnosis at the age of seven. My grandparents had quite a negative view on it, so I don't think it impacted me well.

2) As long as it's not ridiculous, I'm good. "Person with autism" bothers me more because of the unnecessary length than anything else.

3) I couldn't tell ya. I never know what I'm doing.

4) When my grandparents were getting me diagnosed. "If the doctor can't say whether you have Aspergers or autism, we're getting rid of you!" (Paraphrased)

5) My dad's autistic, and I know some other people who are autistic and one person who I suspect of being so (who is my crush). My best friend also has ADHD, which is pretty close.

6) I excell in pretty much everything book smarts and music-related. I also notice trends and patterns easier.

7) E X E C U T I V E D Y S F U N C T I O N

8) Yeah. I'd throw my executive dysfunction into a cement mixer.

9) Being really intuitive when it comes to animals. I'm super hyperactive, so I tend to scare animals off sometimes. And I'll often get startled by those same animals.

10) I don't know what support labels are, but I'm certain that I like the idea.

11) WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME THINGS BUT DON'T LISTEN TO THE RESPONSE BECAUSE THEY WERE ONLY BEING FRIENDLY AND/OR POLITE! IF YOU DON'T CARE, DON'T ASK!

12) I'm oversensitive to sound (specifically high-pitched sound and layering sound), oversensitive to light, undersensitive to smell, and I can't stand it when people lightly touch me (as in like brushing against me or something. If you tap me firmly, I won't be bothered).

13) Undertale, Sanders Sides, Order of the Stick, and psychology (I don't know what to do with the last one, though).

14) My what? I abolished having a routine a long time ago because I was rebelling against autism. Stupid, right? I need to get a routine back.

15) Hand flapping (strong feelings), finger flicking (idle), knuckle cracking when I can (idle/nervous), humming/singing/whistling (anything, really), running and bouncing (happy/bored/energetic/listening to music), rocking (idle/nervous/lowkey freaking out), rubbing thighs (energetic/lowkey freaking out/bored).

16) No, I don't think I've read anything with a canon autistic character that I've really liked. Sometimes the portrayal's bad, other times it's good but the point of view feels like I'm floating through a dreamlike cloud of existence, which makes me feel disoriented. I don't even know why it's like that? I just want one autistic character that doesn't make me dizzy!

17) Pretty much every Undertale character I've ever gotten attached to. Papyrus has the mannerisms that suggest so (though I will fight anyone that calls him childish) (and Alphys also has mannerisms that suggest so), but I'll admit a lot of it's just headcanons on my part. There's one in particular that I'm kinda embarrassed about (Flowey/Asriel), mostly because it originally came from internalized ableism on my part. But I've realized this and reevaluated the headcanon, and it can still make sense. I'm too scared to write him that way, though, for fear that people would take it the way I once did.

18) Whatever it is that I need to get things done. I haven't figured out what that is yet, but I need it.

19) Whoever's portraying us all as innocent angels or whatever. No, bitch.

20) It's basically just being a different brand of human. If you look up an explanation of it, I can try to translate it out of medical speak.

21) Hahahahahahahaha no. But I'm starting to get them.

22) Pattern recognition. Definitely.

23) Honestly, I couldn't care less whether it did or didn't.

24) I used to think autism made me angry and unsympathetic. I know that's untrue now, though.

25) "Soon" is too subjective of a term for me to give a proper response to that.

26) It changes back and forth rather quickly.

27) No food touching, though I'm not too strict about it. The second kind sounds disgusting.

28) I've had both of those things in my lifetime, so both.

29) Slightly? Listen here, if I'm in charge of kids, I'm constantly afraid they're either gonna kill me or die. Despite this, I somehow manage to be okay with them.

30) Deep pressure. Definitely deep pressure.

#ActuallyAutistic Asks

1: Did you discover that you are autistic early or later in life? How do you think it affected you?

2: Which terms and words do you prefer when talking about autism?

3: Do you advocate for yourself and other autistic people?

4: How did you find out about autism?

5: Do you have any autistic family members or autistic friends in real life?

6: What, in your opinion is your best autism-related quality?

7: Which autistic trait gives you the most problems?

8: If you could get rid of one and only one autistic trait, would you do it and which would you choose?

9: Any autistic traits that you don’t have but wish you had?

10: What do you think about support labels as an alternative to functioning labels?

11: What, in you opinion, is the most ridiculous social protocol rule?

12: What are your hypo- and hyper-sensitivities?

13: What is/are your current special interest(s)?

14: What is your daily routine like?

15: How do you stim?

16: Is there any media with canon autistic character(s) you like and would recommend to other autistic people?

17: Which characters do you headcanon as autistic and why?

18: If you could make one accommodation universally available and 100% accepted, which would you choose?

19: What, in your opinion, is the most ridiculous autism myth or stereotype?

20: How would you describe autism to someone who knows nothing about it?

21: Do you have any happy autistic childhood memories?

22: What, in your opinion, is the best thing about being autistic?

23: Do you think autism influences your identity, like your gender, sexuality, religious and political views or personality?

24: Are there any internalized ableist ideas that you struggle with?

25: Do you think we will achieve autism acceptance soon?

26: Are you a no eye contact autistic or excessive eye contact autistic?

27: Are you a “no food touching” autistic or “mesh all food up” autistic?

28: Are you a pretty rock collection autistic or soft stuffed animals collection autistic?

29: Are you a get along with kids autistic or slightly afraid of kids autistic?

30: Are you a soft, gentle touches autistic or a deep pressure autistic?

[toralyzer]

apparently there was this series of personal writing prompts for autism acceptance month that i missed, but i decided to do them all now cause i like talking about myself. http://doingcollegedisabled.tumblr.com/post/159842938764/30-days-of-autism-acceptance

Day 1.     Make yourself known.

I’m Amanda I’m 19! I was professionally diagnosed at a young age but by the time they told me I already long since knew I was weird.

Day 2.     Talk about passing and/or being out.

I’d be open about it I think but it hasn’t come up many times. I guess I did work really hard growing up to be able to pass as allistic though. Oh... I’m not sure if that’s ever caused burnout!

Day 3.     Talk about relationships, both platonic and romantic. 

Yeah as a kid I had a hard time making friends but now I’m a lot better at being sociable - in the allistic way I guess. But now lots of my friends are proudly autistic anyway!

Day 4.     Talk about your family and support. 

I think my family was fine about it. Unless in fact my trauma comes from them dealing with my autism badly. It’s unknown.

Day 5.     Talk about employment and your career. 

Yeah I gotta get one of those...

Day 6.     Talk about music, art, writing, and other forms of creativity. 

Yeah I do that stuff! I’m really creative. Sometimes I think about autistic themes but I don’t think I know what they would be, I think I have too many bad depictions internalized. Sometime I wanna do something with the changeling comparison though...

Day 7.     Talk about community. 

I guess I’m really not out as autistic anywhere ‘cause I pass well. So idk. And I’m not in any communities of autistic people.

Day 8.     Talk about traditional media. 

I think as a kid, media depictions gave me this horrible sense of condescending superiority toward myself and added to my complexes of not listening to my feelings. It’s like, you get these books that put you outside the autistic kid to laugh at his misunderstanding things, and I think then I felt like any sincere expression of my own feelings and thoughts was an immature misunderstanding and worthy of shame.

Day 9.     Talk about Autism Speaks.

Ya, fuck them.

And/or  Talk about special interests.

Damn I’m not sure if I’ve had a special interest lately? I guess some things I’ve been constantly thinking about lately are, um, Sports Anime RPG and my Zimmy fanfic. Okay so Sports Anime RPG is a roleplaying game I’m making based on sports animes even though I haven’t actually seen many but I thought it was a cool idea. It’s split into two sections, one is for the sports games and you can swap out different rulesets for different sports, and in general it’s focused on strategy and mechanics, similar to traditional RPG battles. The other is more freeform roleplay for the story outside sports matches, with light skill checks that are mostly social-based. And there are friendship mechanics where you can build friendships with other characters and get friendship abilities that you can use in either mode! And then the Zimmy story is this fanfiction idea that I always come back to when I feel really fucked up in my head - the premise is basically to throw together all the most viscerally upsetting surreal gore and horror set pieces I can think of, in the context of Zimmy from Gunnerkrigg Court’s reality warping getting set off bad. I’m a little frustrated because I can’t figure out how to express how much I love Zimmy and want to save her but also address how abusive she is.

Day 10. Talk about a cure. 

It’s a divergence not an illness so it wouldn’t be a cure so much as just mental modification. And no that would be really evil for other people to be able to make us allistic

And/Or  Talk about stimming. 

Yeah I like stim toys sometimes. I have a bracelet of rainbow stars and a thing of rainbow blocks you can put in different shapes and a fidget cube. I think a bigger thing for me though is that if I’m listening to a podcast or so I need to play a video game that uses my hands but not my listening brain. When I do that it can be the most fulfilling and engaging activity ever. Watching video fills my attention too much to do a simultaneous activity but not enough to keep me from being distracted so it’s not as easy for me.

Day 11. Talk about sensory issues. 

When I was a kid I only wore shorts all the time. Now I’m hugely self-conscious about it and I’ll never wear male shorts again. Yeah, I guess there are various sensory things I have a problem with... It’s not too intrusive to my life though.

Day 12. Talk about ableism. 

I don’t think I’ve got any stories here. I’ve never been targeted directly.

Day 13. Talk about something funny. 

“Has anything humorous or ironic ever happened to you because you were autistic?“ Haha probably not anything I’d want to joke about!

Day 14. Talk about role models. 

Uhhhh I’m not sure I know any autistic role models. Sometimes there are tumblr users who are vocally autistic who seem cool. Role models in general? I was saying the other day, I used to have a list of people I wanted to be like, but several of them have since become my enemies, so. Yeah, I think every celebrity disappoints you eventually. The last person about whom I thought “well, at least so far, this person seems really good and kind and a cool artistic inspiration” was... Rebecca Sugar.

Day 15. Talk about identity. 

I was diagnosed with aspergers but later I learned that’s just a subset of autism now. I like autistic better.

Day 16. Talk about treatment. 

I haven’t done any that I can really remember. I should go to therapy though. Like in general.

Day 17. Talk about empathy. 

I guess usually I have more sympathy than empathy for people? But sometimes when my girlfriend does a kind of cutesy sad voice as a joke I get some kind of weird hyper empathy and get really sad.

Day 18. Talk about functioning labels. 

I hear those are bad. I would probably be on the higher functioning side but yeah, those seem like a bad idea because they describe how well society is ready to engage with us as if it was our own success or failure.

Day 19. Talk about your struggles and strengths. 

I don’t really know which of those are because of autism or not and I’m self-conscious about finding out because I spent so long trying to learn to be “normal”. On the other hand sometimes it feels like it’ll turn out that autistic traits just account for my whole personality.

Day 20. Talk about communication. 

I’m verbal, sometimes I like when I can communicate in other ways though, like when I can get something across with quick hand signs.

Day 21. Talk about comorbid conditions.

Well I’m not sure about any of those and I don’t think I’ll speculate here to make sure I don’t appropriate anything.

Day 22. Talk about autism parents. 

Wow fuck them! Yeah I was just reading about #BoycottToSiri. People who abuse their kids because they can’t fathom trying to interact and listen to them to understand what they really need and instead go to great lengths to train them like animals into simulating “normality” should die.

Day 23. Talk about your living situation. 

I have a roommate who I know enjoys being able to stay in their room without ever encountering a single allistic or cis person. ^u^

Day 24. Talk about the stereotypes and misconceptions that neurotypicals and allistics have. 

Luckily I haven’t encountered it much in person but I know people see us as a young boy with a slightly distant expression with a single savant skill but also enough tragic disconnection from the rest of humanity that they can safely feel intellectually superior. Wow now that I think about this it’s actually this really unique way of viewing a person where they feel that the stereotypical expression shows that this child doesn’t really exist outside of his mysterious, unknowable brain and therefore all of his personal space and bodily autonomy is up for grabs. It’s really unsettling how autistic bodies in media are dehumanized into dolls because the portrayer is so obsessed with emphasizing this perceived unbreachable distance between the subject and the human observers.

Day 25. Talk about meltdowns/shutdowns. 

Kinda had one earlier because academic research is so frustrating. I think work pressure like that is the usual cause, other than social overload.

Day 26. Talk about echolalia and scripting. 

Yeah I don’t use really specific scripts for most things now, but when it comes to formal things like phone calls I do really need to work out my full sentence before I start.

Day 27. Talk about eye-contact. 

I think I’m pretty okay with eye contact? I don’t think I give people the wrong signals? This always makes me self-conscious X(

Day 28. Talk about autism as a disability.

It’s not a disability ‘cause it’s just different, right? Or are there aspects that strictly make things harder? I don’t really know...

Day 29. Talk about executive functioning.

IT’S DEFINITELY AN ISSUE.

Day 30. Talk with pride. 

“Are you proud to be autistic?” Yeah definitely!!! “How do you show the world your pride?” Oh. Hm...

[stretchearsnotvaginas]

Before I eventually end up starting the new year with resolutions and realistically set goals, I need to wrap up 2018. Last year was one for the books; no pun intended. All along the way, I finished 30 books in total, and 27 of them are in the slideshow at the bottom of my screen (I left out the three for school). While 30 might not seem like a lot to those of you that can finish a book in a day, after looking at my stats, I’ve found out that I can too! Most of these took under 10 hours for me to read, so while it is possible… I just don’t have the time to sit for that amount of time every day. However, I will continue on my reading streak, and I’ll set the bar even higher for this year!

After reviewing the stats, I’ve noticed that surprisingly, most of these books received five stars from me! Unfortunately, that’s not as realistic as I’d like it to be. So, in this recap of my 2018 reads, I’m going to… in a way… re-rate all of my books (besides the three for school). So, let’s dig in!

(I’m also going to tie in Goodreads reviews to each of the book titles in the mini reviews I provide.)

1. A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

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A Game of Thrones exceeded my expectations. The show is eerily similar to the book… almost word-for-word, and I really enjoyed it. The relationship between Khal Drogo and Daenarys was revealed more in the book than it was in the movie, and it took me a bit to get through, but it was definitely good enough for me to snag the second book.

2. Fight Club and 3. Fight Club 2 by Chuck Palahniuk

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Fight Club was one of those books that made me squirm a little, but I can’t talk about it (see: Chucklehead101). So you’ll just have to read this yourself!

Fight Club 2 was unexpected honestly. It’s a graphic novel, and the narrator’s name was finally revealed as Sebastian. Also, Chuck made quite a few cameos! They gave the book more depth and “broke the fourth wall” in literature. I loved the overall feel of this book and finished it a little less than two hours. I can’t wait for Fight Club 3‘s release this January!

4. Invisible Monsters Remix by Chuck Palahniuk

Invisible Monsters Remix is going to have it’s own review here shortly!

5. Phoenix by Chuck Palahniuk

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I distinctly remember reading Phoenix in a hotel room in Golden, Colorado. Phoenix was only around 50-pages long, but it stood out enough for me to give it five stars. Even though Palahniuk is one of my favorite authors, I still choose to review his novels without being biased. Phoenix was a quick read, but it was resolved really quickly. The book discussed showed a broken marriage pretty accurately, and even though I’m a cat person… I couldn’t put it down.

6. Choke by Chuck Palahniuk

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Whenever I go to pick up any Palahniuk book, I always have semi-high expectations. So, giving this book 3-stars isn’t unusual. Choke was one of those books that seemed to try too hard. I love Palahniuk, but this just wasn’t… it. The narrator was prude and he just seemed like a fuckboy. As someone who doesn’t mind reading things “out of the norm,” Victor Mancini was just too much. He was just frustrating to read about, and while I appreciated his storyline, I just didn’t care for him. However, if you don’t mind reading things about a mans’ “dog” every other page/paragraph, then take a shot at it!

7. every day by David Levithan

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I’m not one to read Young Adult books as much anymore, but every day really stood out. While it’s only receiving around 3-stars from me, it was still a unique plot line. However, I just didn’t like the ending as much as I hoped I would’ve. I love the concept behind a non-binary character such as the narrator, but the ending is honestly what ruined it for me. I’m still going to buy the next book to see if it’ll redeem itself, but as for just this one? I don’t think it should standalone as much as it does.

8. the woman in the window by AJ Finn

the woman in the window was my all-time favorite book of 2018. I can’t really put more of what I want to say into words, so check out Review: “the woman in the window” by AJ Finn (2018) for my review!

9. The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory

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I’m not one to read romances like this, but it was a book I received from a book subscription I used to have called PageHabit. They’re no longer in commission, but I still have quite a few books that I have to read from them.

The Wedding Date, in particular, wasn’t one that I’d find myself reading again. It was a cute story, but it was definitely a cliche right from the beginning… which is why I don’t tend to read romances anyway. The characters in the book were cute and charming, but Alexa Monroe (the main character), was a little short-tempered. However, after reading more and more about Drew Nichols, I realize why she is. He is more than just a quirky guy in an elevator, but the more she finds out, the more shady he seems to become.

10. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by J.K. Rowling

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Anyway, I devoured Fantastic Beasts in one day. I found myself falling in love with Newt and his creatures fairly quickly, but there’s just one thing I would’ve changed. The dark side of this novel, should’ve been darker. After watching the movie, the book just seemed light compared to how devious the creature came to be. I loved the entire concept of creating a world before our beloved Hogwarts, I loved the snippet of Grindewald, but since this isn’t technically a YA novel like the Harry Potter series… it just should’ve been darker, which is why it got 4-stars from me.

11. Simon vs. the Homo sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

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I have to be one of the only people on the internet so far (from what I’ve seen) that didn’t 100% love this book in its entirety. I’m glad that it brought a few LGBT issues to light, but I just can’t do the cutesy romance books at all apparently. This was another Young Adult novel that flopped in my reading conquests, but I will say one thing… the movie adaptation was really cute. Even though Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda wasn’t my favorite, I still appreciate how everyone came together and read it upon its release.

12. the curious incident of the dog in the night-time by Mark Haddon

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the curious incident of the dog in the night-time was so unique. So, so unique. It’s from the perspective of Christopher Boone, a fifteen-year-old boy on the autistic spectrum, which only made it more significant. In the book, it shows how Christopher lives by patterns, rules, and the diagram that he keeps in his pocket. The way he moves throughout the world, and how he acts whenever he finds a dead dog across the street. While the entire book is filled with Christopher’s quirks and the way he solves and unseen mystery, I still found myself struggling to get through it on its own. So, I downloaded the audiobook, which led me to a reading by someone who gave Christopher his own unique voice; Jeff Woodman. He managed to create a character with even more depth than Haddon intended. Now, I’m not one to listen to audiobooks all the time, but I’m glad I did with this one. So, if you have Audible, I highly suggest it.

13. Adjustment Day by Chuck Palahniuk

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I’ll admit, Adjustment Day was not my favorite Palahniuk book at all. While it was still better than Choke, it just didn’t feel right. I love that Palahniuk is back in the world of fiction after four years, but this book just gave me a 1984 vibe with a transgressive fiction twist. Honestly, that’s all I can say about it, other than the fact that the idea behind this was pretty ingenious and it could very well happen with the way society is going. I also find it hilarious that in my logo for my blog, I’m reading Adjustment Day. The cover was too great to ignore, and I found myself reading it for hours on end… unfortunately, it just wasn’t… enough.

14. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

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Gone Girl was an enigma in itself. Not that it was too puzzling to figure out, but the whole plot line is really what hooked me. From the beginning, the first paragraph stood out for me; when Nick describes the back of Amy’s head. So, even before all of the crazy twists and turns, this book already starts out on a rather, unusual note.

I oddly found myself rationalizing with Amy Dunne, and realizing that what she did really did have a reasoning behind it. Plus, her whole plan was just ingenious. The plot twist in this book was seriously unexpected, and the fact that it has the potential to be so realistic is really what brought this book to life.

15. The Merciless IV by Danielle Vega

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Ahhh, The Merciless IV. The fourth novel in The Merciless series by Danielle Vega… aka a candy-coated horror novel. Honestly, this series has been hit-or-miss with me. I loved the first two, but I needed more insight on a few of the characters. I really liked how this was set in Italy, and it was just as stomach-churning as the rest of them.

Now, I’m not sure if there’s going to be another installment in this series because it’s called Last Rites, but I’m going to stay hopeful that there is going to be at least one more so Vega can round it off more with Sofia.

16. Providence by Caroline Kepnes

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Providence was a very unusual take on a monster story similar to Frankenstein. This book was equally terrifying as it was mind-bending. It left me wanting more throughout the whole thing, and I was filled with hope that Jon would find justice in the end. Kepnes seriously created a masterpiece filled with illusion, self-destruction, love and obsession. I found myself reading it outdoors in my hammock, falling more and more in love with the relationship between Chloe and Jon, but I just wish it could’ve ended in a better place. To prevent spoiling this piece of art, I won’t go any further, just know that if you haven’t read ANY Caroline Kepnes books. You should pick up this one, and then continue onto YOU and Hidden Bodies (there’ll also be a review on these soon!).

17. Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn

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Sharp Objects was definitely not a favorite. Going into a Gillian Flynn novel after Gone Girl, I was hoping for it to just have more depth to it. instead, I stumbled in upon characters who were tricky and a little cringy. Honestly, the whole idea behind Camille visiting her hometown, definitely reminded me of whenever I’d visit mine. The quaint little town, the drama, the family, it was all surreal how Flynn captured it in this. Yet, I still wasn’t drawn to it. I ended up taking a while to finish it, and I couldn’t focus on it for too long before I got annoyed. However, I did love the show adaptation of it, even though I’m a little biased towards Amy Adams. I just couldn’t grasp onto reading about the characters that were brought to life. The plot twist at the end wasn’t enough for me to grab her books The Grownup and Dark Places, but I know I’ll inevitably end up buying it on one of my bookstore conquests.

18. I Could Pee On This by Francesco Marciuliano

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I Could Pee On This was one of those books that only a true cat lover would love. It felt as though my cats actually wrote each one of these poems, and I found myself actually laughing at the thought. Throughout the whole book, it shows pictures of the “authors,” so not only do you get cute, quirky poems, but you also get cute, quirky photos of the cats themselves. Even though this was an extremely quick read, it still made quite the impact, and instead of having it reside on my “finished” shelf, it now has a place on my desk among a few others.

19. Talking As Fast As I Can by Lauren Graham

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Talking As Fast As I Can was such a hilarious autobiography. While I read it, I heard Lauren Graham’s voice, and shortly after I ended up watching Parenthood and Gilmore Girls. This book really brought to life how difficult it can be to get to where Lauren Graham has gotten. She created a quirky novel that came off as though Lauren Graham was Lorelai Gilmore while she was writing. I got through this autobiography as quickly as she talks, and I’d recommend this to anyone who loves her. Even though there are spoilers to the Gilmore Girls reboot, she does warn about them. So, if you haven’t seen it yet, go watch it! Then check out this book! As someone who doesn’t read very many autobiographies, I found myself so attached to this one that I finished it fairly quickly.

20. Coraline by Neil Gaiman

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Even though Coraline is a children’s book, it was still written very well. I only gave it 4-stars because I didn’t finish it. Before you jump on me for this though, I only didn’t finish it because it was TOO close to the movie. Even though it would’ve been a quick read, I couldn’t imagine my own characters. I love the movie adaptation, but once I already know what the characters look like… the books are almost ruined for me. However, if you like creepy stories, or if your kids like creepy stories, I highly recommend this. Neil Gaiman is an amazing writer, so only you can use your better judgment on this one.

21. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society is going to have it’s own review here shortly!

22. Tell Me Lies by Carola Lovering

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Tell Me Lies was extraordinary and filled with a ton of relationship issues that many authors don’t tend to discuss. Written from both the perspectives of the relationship; the gas-lighter and the “gas-lightee,” this book is unique on its own. I actually found myself uncovering more about Stephen in the beginning chapters than I realized. As someone who’s been a victim of gas-lighting, I was surprised I was able to catch the signs so soon. Stephen was an expert in his craft, and it was frustrating to read about Lucy falling for it over and over again, but I couldn’t put it down. Overall, it was a great read, and definitely one of my top five of 2018.

23. Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin

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First thing first, if you’re going to read Rosemary’s Baby – don’t; LISTEN TO IT. Like I said before, I don’t really love copping out of “manually” reading a book, but this one was worth it. Mia Farrow herself reads this and incorporates all of the screams and different voices. It really created a world that was just as intense as this was 50-years-ago. Dare I say, it was scarier in the audiobook version than it was in the film adaption or the book itself? Next is Son of Rosemary, and one can only hope she recorded that one as well (update: I just looked it up and it turns out she doesn’t… which is unfortunate).

24. Saving Red by Sonya Sones

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Even though Sonya Sones is a YA writer, Saving Red was a great story. It was unique on its own, and I can say I’ve never read a story like this before. In this story, a 14-year-old named Molly decides to help a homeless woman named Red. She had to have been only a few years older than Molly, but she ended up on the streets. I read this around Christmastime, and surprisingly it was set around the same time. This book was really cute and heartwarming and, even though I don’t read YA novels, I’ve always found that Sonya Sones’ books will always have a special place on my shelves.

25. A Simple Favor by Darcey Bell

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Eerily similar to Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, A Simple Favor just wasn’t as appealing to me as I hoped it to be. While I think it was a good standalone book on its own, without comparing it to another book, I think the rating I gave this book was pretty accurate. A Simple Favor, was filled with just the right amount of plot twists, but it was still predictable. Although, as someone who reads thrillers frequently, I’ve found that this is the case for most thrillers at this point anyway. I loved the unique point-of-views, but I still wish it was a little more intense. However, I think this would be a great book for people who are new to the thriller genre. I’ve talked to several people who have loved it, and several who didn’t think it was the best, but if you’re just starting out with thrillers, try this!

26. Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Machado

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Her Body and Other Parties received the lowest review of the year, not only because it was a schoolbook… but because it seemed as though it was written purely for shock factor. I couldn’t even make it through some of the chapters, but I had to for school. This book was another that I needed to download the audiobook, and while a few of the chapters were clever, they weren’t good enough for me to rate this any higher.

27. Bait by Chuck Palahniuk

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It’s not unusual that Palahniuk has presented us with a collection of short stories. It certainly isn’t his first collection, and it won’t be his last. However, what makes Bait unique is that there are photos you can color along with.

While I was reading it, I couldn’t put this book down at all. A few of my favorite stories were: Conspiracy, Let’s See What Happens, and Bait. Even though they were all unique, those three really stood out among the eight in the whole book. Plus, the illustrations really rounded it off.

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      Danielle’s 2018 Reads Before I eventually end up starting the new year with resolutions and realistically set goals, I need to wrap up 2018.