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faithinthefuture28 · 5 years ago

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Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship

**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”

I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:

2013

L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker).

H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily

H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song.

L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy. I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).

L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes

L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex

2014

L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back).

L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones

L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs

L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)

H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)

H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean).

2015

H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about).

L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)

H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do).

L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********

H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives.

H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together.

L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home.

2016-2017

H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you.

H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door, hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****

H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad

H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me

L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).

H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)

L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it

L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u

2018-2019

L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H

L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER

L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy

L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now

L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of

L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********

H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******

H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it

H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******

H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person?

H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)

H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28

H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her

H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)

H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”.

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years ago

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2 big posts in one day? it’s more likely than you think!!!

Moze gameplay breakdown babey here we go

shit sorry i forgot my tl;dr the first time i posted this: the tablet is big important and might have eridian writing on it, it ties into the temple, the loot gun, the tablet in tannis’s infirmary on sanc-iii, and the planet holograms in Eleseer from TPS. also you get a special melee tool to break the purple crystals that i'm like 70% sure are Eridium and also, you’re never gonna believe this, but I talk about Atlas for a little bit because of it.

“lair of the harpy”

ah harpies. I’m shifting into Percy Jackson mode

just putting this out there

anyway as for what “Lair of the Harpy” means in bl3? Well we’ve seen in the We Are Mayhem trailer a bunch of flying Maliwan bots (i am assuming rn that those are Maliwan, anyway)

these green fucks

(u can tell that’s Jakobs Manor cause of the railing on the left) so i imagine that’s why it’s called the Lair of the Harpy. Could also be the lair of some evil woman character, idk lmao.

Far more interesting than the Harpy thing, to me anyway, is this:

i wonder if that’s gonna lead us to the psycho basement with tv heads being hanged where the Hammerlock siblings are standing in front of the fireplace

i wonder...

nah but for real. I would almost bet money that the Vault on Eden-6 is in that giant volcano/mountain area. It just feels right. we’ve seen it both dormant (the leaked footage) and active (the 3rd trailer) so I imagine opening the Vault would cause it to activate. Tho I’m still hoping onto the hope that it’s a moon pool. Just saying, Randy, if you’re reading this... just saying.

we also see this glowing sparkle icon again, which I think pretty much confirms from the We are Mayhem trailer that those will show us where the Moxxi crew quests are.

we see an enemy called “Shredder Fanatic”, personally I’m a fan of Splinter, but to each their own. Uhhh but for realsies they probably deal some blade damage or have a high RoF weapon.

a cool detail I noticed about the minimap is that elevated areas won’t get discovered until you reach that level. Thank god lol

part of this camp is made out of an old sailboat, which i think is pretty fuckin rad

makes me wonder if we’re ever going to see the areas of Pandora affected by the flash freeze again. How long do seasons last on Pandora again? I swear it was like 5 years or smth. oh well lol

i wanna know what this big thing is!! it looks cool. they mentioned that eden-6 was going to have a shitload of broken-down ships, so maybe this is related to it?

another look at what i'm assuming is Jakobs Manor. this is very hard because I keep getting distracted by the gameplay lol I’ve seen this video seven times! it shouldn’t be that enthralling!! and yet!

the combat music in this area is so fucking solid btw i am jamming the hell out

in awe at the size of this place. I’m digging the elevated hallway. i am very much getting a hogwarts vibe from here. the far right looks like an observatory, even.

“Big Donny’s Chop Shop - Open 7 Days” lmao

a gramophone and it looks like we can interact with it! i hope it plays classical music while we go on a murder spree

some sort of bridge? i assume that’s how you actually get up to Jakobs Manor. that may be why our quest is “go to Jakobs Manor”, we gotta fix the bridge before we can.

A Typhon journal!!!

No audio, though :(

From the radio: “catastrophe lead [???] to a lets play (flay?). Craving some meat in a bite sized package? then try festy flesh meats with a bandit on the go. hey, we know you want it, but do you have the time to hunt it down? ...”

-moxxi speaking about her crew challenge i can’t understand the radio here-

[different voice] “... for an exciting announcement from the CoV’s own ministers of murder: Pain and Terror! Those guys are cooking up one hell of a sh-” [player turns off radio] I gonna assume he was about to say “show” cause they’re a Penn and Teller reference. These are the guys from the arena with the giant skull thing, i think i have talked about them before?

Eden-6′s version of the shock cactus?

El Dragon Jr.

OwO are those the same purple rocks as Promethea?

They look like they are growing out of a stone tablet, i mean look at the green light. also they have that same star pattern inside them as Amara’s arms and Maya’s phaselock!!! Which makes me think it’s raw Eridium just... growing out of a stone tablet. which IS WILD!!!

AND WHAT IS MOZE HITTING IT WITH?!

FUCKING ENERGY BLADE

that is not her normal melee weapon, BY THE WAY

she normally uses her Stab! knife!!!

when u try to break the purple rocks on Promethea, iirc the player character can say something to the effect of “have to come back here later”, so it’s possible later in the story we get something (the glowing red/orange/yellow) energy sword to break the purple rocks (eridium???). and yes you KNOW i pointed out the colors because Atlas.

After meleeing it, Moze says “let’s open you up” so im wondering if maybe those stone tablets come into play later? the (eridium?) crystals explode into sparkly purple powder

glowing green!!!! It’s weird, I feel like these are eridian ruins/tablets growing eridium or some shit. we’ve seen the ruins have lines of color across them before, but never strictly on one side. and also never saw them grow eridium. i wonder if that is a reaction to us opening the second vault on pandora? eridium grew on pandora from the 1st one, now it’s spreading because of the second? I deffo think Eridium is from the second dimension (it started growing on pandora after the opening of the Vault) and it’s our key to getting there.

OwO

hey doesn’t that look familiar? I’ll give u like

10 seconds

...

yeah it’s the symbol from the gun

YEAH BABEY

AND GUESS WHAT

YOU KNOW HOW THE GUN WAS TIED TO THE TEMPLE

YOU KNOW HOW I WAS TALKING ABOUT TANNIS’S FLOOR TILE IN HER INFIRMARY ALSO BEING TIED TO THE TEMPLE AREA???

LET ME GO GRAB IT

THE TEMPLE

AND YOU KNOW I WAS REPLAYING TPS THE OTHER DAY FOR MY ANGEL ANALYSIS AND

FUCKING

ASGHDJUYKFDJTYHSRTAGR

THAT’S LABELING A PLANET IN THE HOLOGRAM

AAAAAAAAAAAAA THE ERIDIANS GAVE US A LOOT SPEWING GUN BUT THE GUN MAKES SENSE BECAUSE VAULTS VOMIT UP LOOT ALL THE TIME BUT IT’S NOT LIKE THE LOOT WE GOT WAS AROUND WHEN THE ERIDIANS CREATED THE VAULTS

ALSO I AM VERY CONCERNED THAT CORPSE IN THE TEMPLE IS TYPHON NOW AND THE BOOK IS HIS JOURNAL. WHY WOULD MAYA BE GIVING THE JOURNAL TO THE LITTLE GIRL? IS SHE ALSO RELATED TO TYPHON?

OKAY SORRY I GOT EXCITED but uh yeah idk if that writing/those symbols being the same was intentional or not but it exists and i'm losing my mind over it

i also just wanna know why the rocks are growing eridium and glowing green like what the fuck are your SECRETS

Aurelia shows up as you cross the checkpoint at the bridge, so it’s pretty much 100% confirmed the Hammerlocks are helping us with the jakobs thing. considering Aurelia is contacting us and not Alistar, im REALLY worried about the shot in the We Are Mayhem trailer where he has red eyes. please don’t hurt him. also i love how Aurelia calls herself a rich bitch. she makes that shit rhyme lol

another look at that big tower thing. May be a different one, actually. idk!

round the corner and see a little camp on the left. through that tunnel up ahead leads us here

we head to the right and Zer0 ECHOs us, asking us to kill someone to complete a crew challenge

The target’s name is Heckle (and his rage name is Hyde)

Interestingly he has a megaphone strapped to his mouth

wild.

Lots of stuff! Zer0 sends you mail for killing the target and you are informed that the Crew Challenge is completed. You also get a challenge completed for doing it. You ever notice the actual gameplay of borderlands is very tied to yellow and blue? the color of the title is yellow and the vault symbol for it is red (except for TPS). just odd to me idk

looks like a little envelope icon appears under your minimap when you have mail in your inbox!

we can see some cryo freezing the swamp water here! that’s my favorite thing. the electricity is cool, but ice is cooler.

i love the way this dude runs. also we now know that his pickaxe is to burrow his way into the ground

looks like it will create a huge pink cloud so you know when its about to happen, giving you time to stop it. nice.

getting closer. guess that wasn’t an observatory after all. Awww mannn

lootsplosion from the loot tink

bigger lootsplosion from his bag

i believe this is our first look at an ‘artifact’ which are replacing relics from bl2 and oz kits from tps. and like the interviews said, they’ll be effecting movement! this one turns your slide damage into cryo damage, lets you deal more radiation damage overall, and allows you to slide faster and further. i wonder how broken this can get on a downwards slope with a super high level slide relic. let’s break the sound barrier!

anyway, that’s all i saw that caught my eye. I still haven’t completed my Mask of Mayhem analysis, I was kinda hoping something during E3 would help me figure out who those mystery robed maliwan guys are on it, but alas we got nothing of real substance. oh, i also gotta finish that mural piece... aw fuck

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #moze #moze gameplay breakdown

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wellanthropologicallyspeaking · 5 years ago

Text

trigger warning // abusive parents, emotional abuse

i might be one of only a few people who have been thru the experience of loving and trusting a parent(s) their whole lives, and in a matter of months have that trust utterly broken and the love that you felt for them lost.

context is, long story summarized, my mom put me thru a very tramuatic experience last year (on christmas no less) when she basically said she “disowned me as her child”. i cried and cried and the whole thing was horrible, she just shouted so much while my dad begged her to stop and calm down, and he tried to calm me down too and brought me food afterwards.

the context for this was basically, the christmas tree that i was decorating for hours the night before had fallen when i was downstairs looking for an extension cord, and its falling broke one of the ornaments from my childhood that i had painted myself while in kindergarten/first grade. it was so heckin pretty and i was so proud of it and hoenstly when i saw i broke, along with a few other beloved ornaments, i broke down.

december last year was filled with all kinds of shit that led me deeper and deeper ino my depression, and this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. while we cleaned up the tree with me sobbing intensely, my mom was all “i told you this would happen !!! you should have done what i said !!!” THAT’S what you say to your CRYING CHILD (i’m 20 but still im her child and you would expect a person to be more compassionate towards THEIR KID)??? instead of seeing that they’re obviously upset. this made me fucking pissed and i just stormed to my room, and declared that im not celebrating christmas this year. my mom forced me and coereced me to have christmas dinner, but i slipped away with a turkey leg and bread into my room, while she was fucking pissed in the other room.

the next day, we had the horrible aforemention argument, where we went over the christmas canceling thing and me not wanting to celebrate, but my mom also went on the thing that i didn’t want to take her vitamins anymore, and she was fucking pissed at me for that.

now, that makes no sense, but i have pretty bad acne, and my mom has *taken it upon herself* to treat my acne herself, even though i kept telling i didn’t want or ask for her help, but she’d just insult me and force/blackmail me to take them. this went on for over a year, and it sounds horrible on its own, but it actually didn’t change my opinion of her until last december.

her argument was “because you’re not taking the vitamins i gave you, it means 1) you want to ruin your skin permanenly (and she goes on about ONE lady she knows who has bad acne scars who i’ve never even met) 2) you want to HURT ME EMOTIONALLY because i worry about you and you having horrible skin makes me feel bad (this sounds kinda emphathetic from her side of things but trust me, the way she meant it felt more like im some kind of experiement to her who she needs to fix and when she can’t “fix” me, she feels bad instead of ever considering MY FEELINGS)”

anyways that whole load of bullshit resulted in me arguing with her, and eventually led to her threatening to disown me while i sat sobbing so fucking uncontrollably, which i think was the only time since maybe i was a baby that i had ever cried so much and so hard. she eventually said, in not so many words, fuck you and im disowning you, while i was left shattered in a pool of my own tears.

it took me WEEKS to recover from the emotional turmoil that experience brought me, and i could never look her in the eye again.

about a month later, my dad would end up driving me to college instead of my mom (bc im a 20 year old american who still doesn’t know how to drive whoops) and over the months of the semester, he’d share things about how bad this lawsuit is that my mom’s waging against our neighbor (wholeeee other kettle of fish that i won’t get into here) and how it was stressing him out and using up precious time, money, and energy that he had. he also mentioned the whole lawsuit cost 40K to manage up to that point, bc my parents had been doing it for about 5 years and that’s the total sum it cost over those 5 years. i was fucking shocked bc, i remeber years back even BEFORE the lawsuit when i saw my mom google “free colleges” for me to attend when i’d graduate, bc she said college “was too expensive”. i mean yea that’s true but there’s a good college here that i want to go to that’s 6K a year?? like if you add it up, my time at college would cost LESS than the 40K wasted on this lawsuit AND we’d deffo have money left over for house repairs, of which our house needs a million. but nah, my mom’s priorities is that we need to waste 40K on a lawsuit for a plot of land on our drive way the size of a desk. size of a DESK. im not fucking kidding here, i wish i was bc its so ridiculous.

then later i learned that my mother (who i already knew had disowned her first daughter, what a shocker) had as a sort of “punishment” to her first daughter, aka my half sister, to take her piece of their apartment back that is in Russia. my dad said we could compromise on the money and get about 50K to pay for the downpayment for our house here, but my mom was s u r e she could “win” her case and get 300K for her share, which my dad said was near impossible and could put my half sister and her family in danger, bc apparently money handling in russia is risky business and people get killed for that sorta money.

my mother didn’t give a shit. about the actual reality of the situaion or the pain/danger she was putting my sister and her family thru. she could shit a turd and give more of a shit about that than her own daughter.

anyways all this and more that i learned, as well as the trauma she put me thru in december, made me open my eyes to the monster i had truly been living with. i finally learned how horrible, twisted, selfish, and cold blooded she was, and knew she could never have held any love for me. the mother i had known my whole life was a lie, and that lie shattered before my eyes.

this went on far too long (probably bc it shows i need therapy ahahaha i still haven’t dealt with this have i) but the message i want to share here is, if you’ve been in a situation where your parents have turned out to not be the person you thought they were, and the love you felt for them and the trust you had in them had shattered overnight, i want to say i know how you feel.

when that happens, everything that was normal with your parent(s) becomes abnomal. you go to share with them something you’re excited about, but you realize you can’t. you think about that yearly event you both go to but realize you can never go together again. it might not even be because they won’t allow it (my mom has “forgiven” me and thinks we’re alright again, as if december was “nothing”) but because you know in your heart that the person you did those things with is gone. they were really never there to begin with, because the whole thing was an act and the traumatic expriences you went thru made you see their true colors. and you see that their true colors are ugly as fuck.

those pauses when you realize that you can’t ever be the same around your parent as you once was, those times when you’re forever locked up to them because you won’t allow them in, when you feel guilty that you haven’t forgiven them and that its somehow your duty as their child to forgive them, i’m not here to say that you should open up, but that you should not open up to them. don’t ever feel like you are obligated to open up to them or “forgive” them. they hurt you and they broke your trust and made you experience horrible trauma that’s hard to come back from. just because they’re your family doesn’t mean you must forgive them.

there’s this societal norm that we’re surrounded by that in order to overcome and deal with trauma, you have to forgive the people who hurt you. in my opinion, i think that couldn’t be farther from the truth. if you are a person who finds it easist to deal with their pain by forgiving those who hurt you, i’m not bashing you; more power to you for being able to forgive, especially when i can’t do the same. however, forgiveness is touted as this “cure all” that people should use to forgive everyone who’s ever hurt you. that cannot be true because what works for one person does not necessarily work for the next. one person may be able to deal with their trauma with forgiveness, and another person cannot do the same. i believe that you shouldn’t have to forgive those who hurt you, especially when you don’t feel strong enough to or feel any love/trust in them after they’ve hurt you. i can accept that what happened, happened, and that what my mother did to me happened, and that it affected me terribly and left me with emotional scars that will be hard to heal from, but i cannot call her my mom anymore or forgive her for what she did to me.

i do feel tinges of guilt sometimes because, i think, of this societal norm that you should forgive everyone, and i feel that coming from my place as a daughter, that i have some obligation to forgive my mother based on what society tells you. you may feel the same too, that you feel guilty for not forgiving your family and that if you were a better person you would forgive them. im here to say that that’s bullshit. you may feel guilty for not forgiving your family but that’s not some sign that you actually should forgive them or that you deeply down want to forgive them, it just means that you feel guilt because of what society has drilled into you. its okay to feel guilty about not forgiving your family and still not forgive them at the same time !! i feel like this sometimes, but i still know that the trauma my mother put me thru and the lies i uncovered about her make me realize that i can never forgive her. if you’re not emotionally strong enough to forgive someone, if you don’t feel the same love or trust in someone as you once did and so are unable to forgive them, i just want to say, its okay not to forgive them !! this isn’t some kind of contest that you have to win, you don’t have to feel like you’re a weak or bad person for not forgiving someone, bc our ways for coping with trauma are all different !!

in my opinion, i think trying to forgive or keep people in your life who are obviously terrible is not healthy in the long run. my mom is still doing the shitty things that are similar to what i described earlier, and i now know that she’s still just the same horrible, selfish, cold blooded person she always was; she was just under a mask. me forgiving her or tolerating her now won’t magically turn her into a good mom !! she’ll always be shitty and its healthier for me to just cut her out of my life as much as i can (while im still living at home with both that parents, and me being unable to drive, that is proving very difficult). it’s just better to cut out toxic people from your life and surround yourself with healthy people who will help you grow and thrive. it’s kinda like what marie kondo says,

(yea im an organizing nut but her book has really helped me organize the house, and i think organizing is kinda my coping mechanism, i spent so much time after december doing a full rehaul of the house that i had never done before, because i think i wanted to regain control of my life in some part as a way to cope for all the shit i went thru)

you should only keep things (or people) that “spark joy”. anything or anyone that doesn’t “spark joy” for you, you’re allowed to remove from your life : )

#forgiveness #trauma #emotional abuse #emotional trauma #family #family abuse #parents #parent abuse #self care #coping

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batsysims · 6 years ago

Photo

didnt wanna do an actual Simself Edit™ so have an arrested development reference

anyways

i was tagged by @0cherub & i tag any1 who hasnt done this yet bc who doesnt like answering 125 questions abt themselves oh also @flavortowne im forcing you to do this sry

get to know me tag

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? its batsy dont worry abt it

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? its batsy dont worry abt it

3. BIRTHDAY? september 15

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? what?? are books

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? ye both

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? ummmm idk lmfao i havent “read” a “book”” in like 5 years

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? 35 & 36 on sirius are like basically the exact same station but that doesnt mean i dont constantly alternate between the two whenever im near a radio

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? pink is a v trustworthy flavor

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? *owen wilson voice* wrow

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? what kinda question is this wt f ive currently reobsessed myself w marina and the diamonds so honestly any of her discography

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? idk any words :^/ sry

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? wheels on the bus im exhausted

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? man in the high castle. man in the high castle. man in the high ca

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? clerks al;dksfjf

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? almost exclusively sims and fallout but every once in a while some indie game i find on steam so. yea

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? never doing anything in my life and having nothing 2 look forward to!! yay

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? probably my resiliency, maybe?? idk

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my habit of allowing bad things to happen to me lol

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? cats but im sorta kinda indifferent 2 both i think i might 1 of the 5 ppl on earth who dont like having pets

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? summer and fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yea

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? not being lazy lmfao

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? @flavortowne eye emoji

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? its natural brown but im thinkn abt going either red or blonde again

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? like 3 ppl irl and everyone on discord u guys legit

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my person and @flavortowne eye emoji

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? tom hardy. what is his end goal

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? tbh going 2 basic lmfao im!! lame

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? as of right now,, spiderverse lol

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? teletubbies was fckn legit and so was old school spongebob

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my person

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? im not superstitious,,, but i am a little stitious

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? i cant deal w fishing poles idk

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? in front babey

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims or stitching play foods 4 the kid to use on her play kitchen

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? stop asking book questions

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? spiderverse yeye

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? piano & i try 2 pretend i know what im doing w a ukulele

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? stingrays :^)

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? legit all my mutuals

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? i had an oc that could read ppls memories like a scrapbook if he touched them and i always honestly thought that was. cool

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in my house!! the door b locked bitch!!!!

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? toddler being an idiot toddler

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? its not really,, a sport,, but i bike

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? cream soda in those glass bottles is top tier non-alcoholic beverage

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? i wrote a letter 2 my person telling him he was an idiot and by the time it was mailed 2 his house i was already living there lol

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? either ppl blowing vape in my face or holding something so close to my face i cant see i just go ballistic

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nope unless u count a sesame street liveshow like 10 years ago

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? nope!

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a cop lmfao

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? this is horrible but the setting of new vegas i just feel like id be at home there, w the radiation and constant danger and dehydration

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? the kid

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? only when im looking in the mirror adlkfj start thinkn abt a different face showing up instead of mine idk

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yea

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? skipped a whole year adlfkj

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? this is basic but i miss the tri-state area

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? this is basic but i miss nj

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yea :^/ a dog, a cat, and uhhhh 14 fish

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but honestly im just always tired

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsettttt

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? i do

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones. they just work

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah but i need em

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? i listen to everything tbh

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? michael cera

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? i used to read them religiously but not so much any more. i am reading the TAZ graphic novel tho

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? having to repeat myself 20 times. or being an idiot when i wanna start a new hobby

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? idk how to read

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? honestly i had a blast in econ and my law enforcement class

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? a bro, another sibling, and a half-bro

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? food lmfao

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? every time i measure myself im 5′2″ but the government insists that i am 5′3″ so w/e

75. CAN YOU COOK? yeap

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? alcohol, bike riding, wearing stupid makeup

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? ppl holding me back, bird box, when my nail breaks before i can file it so its all oglee

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? uh idk?? i dont have,, many,,,, friends

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? bi

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? sc :’^(

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my brother

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 2 nights ago the kid pistol whipped me in the chin w her phone and it just hurt so bad it legit made me lose it

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? ok this is dumb as shit the kid is obsessed w Blippi and i have a mom crush on him afdslfkjs

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? ye

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? i am currently obsessed w L.O.L. Surprise! Pop but all in all probs Pocket Camp

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? bad as parents but theyre fine now that im an adult and they have a grandkid they can like

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? i dont like a majority of them lmfao but idk maybe uh?? irish

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? rly wanna go to nevada but im moving to the mojave soon anyways so

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 15

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? nope

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? i was raised christian but i dont rly give a shit abt any of that

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? outer space my dood the ocean is dumb and scary

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im jus livin my life

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? i mean. im lactose intolerant but thats abt it

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nope

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? no

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? when im wrong abt something

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest ig bad choices

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? i dont think i was ever given advice, ever. maybe thats why im like this

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? idk i try not 2 lie unless its like. an obvious exaggeration for the lols

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? wtf idk ok i just did one of those quizzes & im a slytherin?? what does that mean

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? yeah

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? more of an introvert but im ok w going out there if i gotta

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? i keep one for the kid but thats abt it

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? nah. unless it was something stupid like burning food like im not gonna ban u from the kitchen

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? if theres an id i guess mail it 2 the address on there?? idk ive never just. found a wallet. i think this happens a lot less than all the hypotheticals make it out to be

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? if theyre dedicated to it. i dont think ppl can just do it over night and i dont think its ever a 100% change

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? dont touch me

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Yep

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? 2 in both ears but thats it

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? spidr...mna

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? no :^( once im cleared for them tho deffo

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? i hate that this is the answer but enlisting adlfkjs

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yeah ig??

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? 2 late

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? we all b stupit

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? idk?? i get embarrassed but also get over it quick so like. idk

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? yea

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black & red

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? mhm

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? i was on nickelodeon back when they had those cuts to the Live Studio Audience™

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 21

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savory i almost never eat anything sweet

#get to know me tag #now that ive posed this i wanna get back in2 making pose packs sigh

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p101recaps · 7 years ago

Text

Broduce 101: Episode 10 (Quick Livestream Recap)

This post contains spoilers.

We go straight up to the Regal Chair of Doom for the elimination opening.

There are a few hair changes! Minki is dark haired again, while Sanggyun had an ashy blond dye job and a trim.

They’re not sure what the cut off is because of the rumours and the doubt BoA’s script had provided last episode.

Hyunbin ambitiously wants to be first, and the trainees laugh their heads off at this proclamation.

Entrance pose time!

Pledis trainees come in by imitating Nu’est maknae Minki’s disjointed shoulder trick.

Little Lee Woojin does the thigh touching move from sexy concept song Open.

MMO trainees, Daniel and Jisung, dance to Sistar’s Touch My Body. It makes me feel low key bitter because my girls :(

RBW Lee Gunhee did some hip swinging.

Extra as hell, Fantagio Ong Sungwoo brought a bag with him to recreate his now iconic moment from the work out episode.

WH Creative Seo Sungyhuk did some of IKYK choreo. Cutie

YGK+ Kwon Hyunbin did the robot.

Popular WinkDeep boys Maroo Park Jihoon and C9 Bae Jinyoung did twin moves

Ardor and Able hilariously recreate a reference to Noh Taehyun’s viral stomach scratching picture.

Starship Jung Sewoon did the world’s tiniest Nayana gesture.

CUBE chicks do a Twice Knock Knock reference.

OUI Donghan did a weird dance move on the floor.

Only top 20 gets through. So this rumour was right. It’s like Mnet’s playing two lies one truth lol

BoA gets ajumeoni claps as she enters. That dress looks like something from Red Velvet’s closet though.

Fanservice to soothe the pain begins with cute dorm footage.

Snack time is abound in the dorms once again. One trainee carries what looks like a fuckin mountain of cup ramen across the room at some point.

They reveal a bit of first week footage with the HOTSHOT boys depositing their luggage in the waiting room. Sungwoon’s massive show insole falls out and he gets embarrassed, all ‘When did this come out??’

Sunghyuk has a bit where he comes into to visit his hyungs and gets scolded for his informality. He gets visibly scared by Jihoon’s sternness, leaving with his tail between his legs until Ong-ssi calls him back.

Ong-ssi: Why’d you come in here?

Sunghyuk (looking like he may cry): For...no reason.

All the hyungs: Oh, that’s good! :D I’m glad you came to see us!!! :))

Sunghyuk almost passes out in relief when he realises they were teasing him lol

There’s a cut of how the boys all pull out make up to touch up when production staff calls for a break, yanking out their compacts and pat-patting away at their faces.

Jisung eomma is the funniest of all of course, whipping out the compact with a flourish and patting his too red lips to blend them out.

Ong-ssi puts on a few dozen coats of tinted lip balm and gets ticked off by staff for the red lips visible across the hall

Jaehwan touches up Baekho’s nose for him

Another cut is product placement for face packs, its a sponsored bit (you can always tell when Samuel’s acting, bless him) but they play around well with the differently coloured mask creams.

Sungwoon gets 101 written on his face by his dongsaengs, Jihoon makes himself up like a panda while Baekho gets a beard. He’s very pleased with it. A universal cutie.

Deffo more natural PPL than the herbal supplement.

There’s a cut of early morning shower singing from vocal kids RIP FNC Yoo Hwiseung, getting screentime once he’s been kicked.

Sad practice shots with Jaehwan’s acoustic guitar backing and singing of Nayana. I ALREADY FEEL BAD FOR THEM FUK U MNET

Cut to more cheerful trainee time.

Noh Taehyun once again has to heatedly defend himself because of his stomach clip after already having to clarify he’s not a crybaby. He claims the clip was from after a rehearsal sesh, and he was hot and sweaty so, “I WAS FANNING MYSELF I WASN’T SCRATCHING MY TUMMY EVERYONE!!”

CUBE kids explain their initial awkwardness. Their company wanted them to be clear hyung-dongsaeng on the show, but they were friends while they were trainees earlier. This means Seonho can’t use banmal with him anymore and has to remember to call Guanlin hyung. It doesn’t affect Lai Guanlin, but Seonho is still adjusting lol

Minhyun likes sweet boy Seonho, but the younger kid keeps hugging him and is really fond of skinship.

Minhyun: It’s like he’s my girlfriend...he needs to dial it down a bit.

Seonho: It’s just because I love my hyung???!

Daehwi gets a stool to stand on for his individual bit, and is mildly indignant about it. He doesn’t think he’s that short and pulls out massive insoles from his shoes before also ratting out Sasuke Uchiha cosplayer Bae Jinyoung’s use of insoles.

His friend is not happy, and has to reveal his own massive foam shoe inserts.

Bae Jinyoung: They’re only 2cm!!

Staff: Only because you’re pressing down on them like that.

Auntie Jisung, true to form, mentions Daniel’s night talking.

“Mom, you’re embarrassing me!!” - Kang Daniel, probably.

Red lip tint fans Daniel and Sanggyun get called out for their always pink lips, and Daniel gets his own back by pointing out that Yoon Jisung also always wears tons of it.

Kang Daniel called my boy with his ludicrous pink lips an ajumma!!

Sewoon loves his awkward wink edited with post its on his face and the Jaehwan and Sewoon vocal ship continues to sail.

Hosts Auntie Jisung and Ong Sungwoo for basketball manga oppa times

Ong-ssi: Why are you here? Did you trainees only come to have fun here on the show?

Auntie Jisung: Yes. I did.

They chant ONGSUNG ONGSUNG ONGSUNG for themselves. New comedy MC duo, I loaf

Speed quiz is first up, with sexy waves from OngSung MCs.

Showtime team do okay, Samuel flips onto his back to act out samgyetang. I died. How do you even think of that.

IKYK: Moonbok hard carries. He’s so pretty but that hairstyle...a topknot and scarf wrapped around his head..I wear my own hair like that for house cleans. Taedong quivers for a bit when he gets his word, before dancing The Boys for SNSD.

Open: Daniel does a piss poor imitation of Baekho, who laughs like a baby the whole segment. Seonho gets Ahn Junyoung (the P101 main producer) and wavers for a bit before yelling, ”Ah! PASS!”

Oh Little Girl: Ayn Hyungseob has apple hair! He struggles to convey swag, imitating Baekho and Daniel to no avail. His team finally gets it only because Lee Euiwoong hears Noh Taheyun say, ‘Ah, Hyungseobie definitely has none of this at all!!’

Never: Lai Guanlin passes because he doesn’t know the word...twice; he can’t read Hangul well and the words are too difficult. One of them is an old fashioned Korean flute like?? It’s a hard word and how do you act it out? Poor kiddo

IKYK team wins this segment.

Next game is a game where duos come forth from each team; one trainee does an elephant nose spin, and then runs to apply lipstick on his waiting teammate.

My heart soars at Sanggyun and Jisung representing Showtime

Sewoon falls multiple times and when he gets to Euiwoong, he keeps shaking. Euiwoong gets more and more impatient and Sewoon finally gets shoved by an annoyed hamster.

Jisung veers off and falls like fifteen times before getting to Sanggyun. After, Sanggyun looks at himself and thinks it’s sort of sexy. “You look pretty!!” says excited Auntie Jisung, gleefully.

BNM Jonghyun has a scary determined look throughout.

Kim Yongguk can’t even spin straight, falling over every two spins like a new born puppy. He crawls to Kenta, who waits patiently to have his whole face attacked viciously with red lipstick

Kenta, when the trainees go into splits and Yongguk is still stabbing his cheeks with lipstick: WHY? WHY??

Lee Daehwi remains perfectly, characteristically competent, calmly dabbing on Wartortle GodJonghyun’s lips like a seasoned make up artist.

Yoo Seonho gets to draw again on a caring hyung picked by him, so he picks Daniel

Jaehwan picks Emperor Hwang for redoing the segment. Jaehwan runs lopsided and dementedly fast to draw on his hyung, frightening poor Gunhee on the sidelines.

Seonho applies eight hundred layers of red on Daniel’s mouth lol

The next game is team jump roping and posing for a photo

This was hilarious - you have to look them up, I died laughing at their faces mid air. These are the pictures I’m getting blown up and signed if I ever see them in person.

Open team wins overall, and receives the PPL face packs.

After this dose of healing (this is what Jonghyun calls the segment, with another of his ha ha HAs) cuteness, we go back to elims.

The rankings from last episode are finally revealed for the highest ranking from the live audience. To no one’s surprise, Daniel won the 220,000 benefit.

1 and 20 to be revealed last for the suspense

Jung Sewoon ranked 19.

Woodam and Donghan have a depressingly self aware discussion about how they know they’re lucky to have this far.

Joo Haknyeon is 18. The boys are all shocked but he’s had awful press lately. He’s losing grace swiftly, and this is his first time falling out of top 11.

BNM Im Youngmin has fortunately made it at 17, despite the (totally undeserved) hate he received. He even apologised, for some reason

CUBE Seonho was 16, he almost fell out his seat with shock as his name was called.

Ren, Hyungseob and Jaehwan all make it in succession.

Minhyun’s apparent ‘mistaken’ reveal of his rank was at 12 but it’s Pledis Kang Dongho at 12. The trainees all imitate Baekho’s Boy in Love head bob lol

Pledis Minhyun makes it at 11. He’s handsome on the big screen, and sings at BoA’s request. All the trainees have a shim koong.

Lee Daaehwi at 10. I’m grateful he stays top 11 though a cutie

MMO Yoon Jisung makes it at 9!! YES HE’S BACK IN TOP 11 I LOVE MY AUNTIE!!

So do the trainees, they’re all more excited than he is at his rank, there’s a veritable swarm as they congratulate their eomma.

Samuel’s having a breakdown from nerves.

Auntie Jisung’s ugly crying is slightly muted this time - his company must have scolded him. Daniel is super relieved his hyung’s back in top 11, and Jisung thanks people for supporting him and his dream.

Ong Sungwoo is safe at number 8. BoA asks him to do his Ong-slate bit, which of course, he does with every bit of over the top acting he can.

Nation’s leader Angel God Jonghyun dropped to 7, but at least Wartortle’s safe.

Good shot of the empty Nu’est seats as Jonghyun thanks the voters for supporting him and his fellow Pledis trainees.

Brand New Music Park Woojin makes it to 6! He still has an eye patch on, I hope he’s recovering well. BoA asks him to do his famous snaggle-toothed smile. A cutie.

Samuel’s proper freaking out but he makes it at 5. He thanks all his Showtime hyungs by name but forgets Jisung, adding him last when he realises. Jisung, my drama queen, pouts in mock offence

Goodness, you can really see the relief on Samuel’s face when he sinks into his chair, my poor kid.

BoA calls out Ha Sungwoon and Bae Jinyoung for the next two possible ranks

Ha Sungwoon can’t stop yelling in shock for being in the top 5, he just screams endlessly. When the camera points at him for the shot right before BoA announces his name, he thinks it’s someone else in his row because he really wasn’t expecting it.

ME NEITHER MATE THERE IS SOME FAIRNESS IN THE WORLD I LIVE FOR THIS RISE

Bae Jinyoung is 4. The two pick voting helped him climb back up, WinkDeep sails. In celebration, he does the aegyo bit from his intro.

Sungwoon makes it at number 3 (more slightly muted screaming)

I’m that tear waterfall pokemon gif, and so is he, sort of. This caught me off guard but I love being wrong about this sort of stuff.

Popular kids, teen pick Jihoon and noona pick Daniel for top two.

Daniel and Little Woojin exchange non-forced reassurance as they wait for his rank to be announced.

Sidenote while watching the livestream: That Cha Eunwoo kid is in a lot of ads for a rookie. He’s rather handsome.

MMO Kang Daniel ranks number 1. It’s his first time, he never thought he’ll be Jihoon’s rival, but he’s deeply grateful.

Which puts Park Jihoon at a safe 2. He thanks his fans for their continued support. His consistency has been incredible, he’s never left the top of the pyramid.

Last trainee for the cut off at 20. These shots of my eliminated talented boys makes me sad.

They draw out my pain by showing the ranks from 35 upwards, and having the trainees speak as they get booted.

Bye little maknae Lee Woojin, star vocal Park Woodam, RBW meme Lee Gunhee and musicial kid Kim Yehyun

All of I Know You Know got booted. My sweet boy WH Creative Seo Sunghyuk cries. The Vibe knight boy Taedong and blond pretty kid OUI Donghan are composed. They must have all expected this.

Oh, Donghyun. His BNM trainees look like they’re going to cry as he asks the voters to support them.

Sanggyun spits some sugar coated bitterness, Noh Taehyun and Takada Kenta are graceful.

Visual dark horse Moonbok, who got played by Mnet the most, leaves the show too. He really speaks very prettily. 3

BoA says this isn’t the end for their careers. I wish I can be that optimistic.

Yuehua Lee Euiwoong doesn’t make the cut. You can see Hyungseob’s face fall.

YGK+ Kwon Hyunbin is eliminated at 22. He says a nice ment too, but lasting this long considering his background and skillset is just miraculous.

It’s between Kim Yongguk and Lai Guanlin for rank 20.

Honestly, I’d never have guessed this in a million years. Kim Yongguk, maybe, because of his lack of clear broship, but Cube chicks must get a lot of their hype from teenagers.

Lai Guanlin makes it by the skin of his teeth.

We have to say goodbye to Arctic Fox Kim Yongguk. This feels so unfair, he had such a nice, melancholy tone.

Daniel leads the ending salutations to the national producers.

Last voting period opens, and it’s one pick. This season has been super makjang for real. Far out.

We cut to a new day, the top 20 trainees have gathered for final evaluation mission. BoA reminds them this is the final, debut mission for the live broadcast finale.

The trainees will be split into two teams to perform one of two songs, Super Hot or Hands on Me. I’m keen to hear these songs, the composers are really well known. The choreography has to be created by the trainees themselves.

Harvey Mason and his team created Hands On Me, the demo sounds like a laid back jazzy track that will probably go the IKYK way (hashtag bitter).

Ryan Jhun, who composed Nayana and EXO’s Love Me Right, my favourite EXO title song by far, wrote Super Hot, which is more funky, fast paced.

I take a minute to thank Mother Mary for the lack of EDM. Let’s hope it doesn’t jump out on me when I hear the full songs.

Positions depend on rank, with low ranking trainees picking first and the higher ones possessing the ability to replace them if they want the position.

Im Youngmin’s penalty for leaking spoilers is that he has to take what’s left over, so he picks first and can be replaced.

Seonho ambitiously displaces Haknyeon for sub-vocal 3 on Super Hot, pushing him down to 4.

Hyungseob pushes Joo Haknyeon further down to 5 lol

Then Daehwi pushes him to rapper 1

Jonghyun comes in to shove him to the other team, as vocal 6 for Hands on Me.

Dead. His fellow trainees seemingly have no faith in him at all.

Jaehwan takes his rightful place as main vocal for Hands on Me.

Sewoon had picked sub vocal 1 on the same song earlier, wanting to sing with Jaehwan.

Minhyun continues to be a Joseon level strategist by pushing Sewoon to a different team. Samuel moves him back but to a lower vocal position.

Daniel changes Sungwoon’s team from Hands on Me sub vocal 1 to Super Hot but promotes him to main vocal on there so it works out well.

Everyone on Super Hot understandably wants to be centre considering the timing of the mission and they all sing the main chorus line to compete.

Samuel has to create the choreo and formations as the strongest dance trainee. His teammates come up with a bunch of unhelpful suggestions and he’s stressing out again.

Ong-slate opens on Hands on Me discussions.

They’re discussing leader, Ong-ssi surprisingly nominates himself and receives the position.

Again, everyone wants to be centre and audition with the ‘killing part’ but they don’t show centre pick.

We see the eliminated trainees crying at the eliminations again before next week’s trailer and ranks.

Below is a comprehensive list of this week’s rankings. I’ll post the entire set this time, because we’re down to only 20 :(

Kang Daniel

Park Jihoon

Ha Sungwoon

Bae Jinyoung

Kim Samuel

Park Woojin

Kim Jonghyun

Ong Sungwoo

Yoon Jisung

Lee Daehwi

Hwang Minhyun

Kang Dongho

Kim Jaehwan

Ahn Hyungseop

Choi Minki

Yoo Seonho

Im Youngmin

Joo Haknyeon

Jung Sewoon

Lai Guanlin

#p101 #p101 recaps #p101s2 #p101 spoilers #p101se2 spoilers #produce 101 season 2 #p101 season 2 #produce 101 #produce 101 recaps #broduce 101 #broduce 101 recaps #broduce 101 spoilers #livestream recap

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sendmenot · 6 years ago

Text

9/25/18 Butterflies and Farewells

Hey there, devil. Yes, you! That’s my pet name for you (and I also call you lolo but hey, who cares).

It’s already 1:20am, and I just really need to release these thoughts I have inside. Just got home around 12:30am. I’ve had the loveliest night in months, truth be told.

It started earlier when I was playing league. Paul (you) suddenly messaged me whilst I’ve just started playing a normal game with a friend (lil’ bro K).

“ how far are u from makati? “, your message read.

“ let’s go out tonight! cmon cmon “

I got really excited when you asked me out. After the game ended, I showered as fast as I could and put on cute clothes and make-up. I was late, but hey, it’s deffo not my fault! You asked me out so suddenly!!! My heart wasn’t ready...

I first saw your back. You were wearing a gray shirt with black tones. You were fiddling your phone. I tapped your arm and announced my arrival. You smiled; Gods, it was such a beautiful smile. I love the way your eyes sparkled as you smiled. We were awkward for a bit; we haven’t seen each other for months (although we have been talking a lot for the past 6 months)! After a few moments of awkwardness, you told me that our grab driver has arrived. We looked for it, but we were too stupid to see it right before our eyes, hahaha~

Inside the car, we were just making small talk. I made sure not to sit too close to you. We aren’t even touching! You showed me your waifus and your beloved love live game. You suck at playing on pro mode!!!! :P

At long last, we’ve finally arrived at our destination. It was already around 9 pm. We ordered food and drinks. You told me that they serve local beer there and that you really wanted to try them. It was a tad bit too sweet for your tastes though. More conversations followed as we munched on our chips and chicken nuggets.

I told you that I’ve had the weirdest dreams for the past few weeks. (A.K.A. the preggo dreams). You called me a slut!!!! But I laughed it off, knowing that you were just kidding. As it turns out, you’ve been having nightmares of your own. You’ve dreamt of your ex gf doing something really bad, and you were trying to get her to stop doing that thing. There was another dude, and she’d rather listen to that dude AND flirt right there on your face, instead of believing you. You were pissed- hell, you LOOKED pissed. Kinda scary, truth be told. I wanted to hug you right then there but opted not to. It might not be welcomed yet..

I just let you rant about it- the way you wanted to get back with her, but couldn’t. There’s always doubt at the back of your mind. I played that role again, and I guess that’s just how it is with us. I know I’ve had my share of rants to you as well, and you never complained. I just extended the courtesy back to you; there’s nothing I can do about it at this point.

You took out your phone and told me to log on my okc account. I noticed that you weren’t even hiding your phone when you were putting in the code. (Yeah, I notice the little things) You told me to match with some guys and that you’ll chat them up. We’ve had fun looking at weird profiles, pointing out our observations.

Out of the blue, you suddenly asked me if I’m going home soon to Japan.

“Yeah, but not so soon though”, I replied.

“But we’ll keep in touch, right? Let’s keep in touch!”, you said.

“Of course! Knowing you- there’s probably an ulterior motive behind that, yes? You wanted a dakimakura?”, I asked.

“No, not that.”

“I thought you wanted that? You told me so before.”

“That was before. I want figurines.”

Suddenly, you told me that you were leaving Manila soon. You were going back to your hometown, Iloilo. Tomorrow (later), to be precise.

I suddenly felt really sad. There’s this crushing feeling and I feel so suffocated. It’s as if I have forgotten how to breathe. I can’t sleep right now since I’m still thinking about this lovely night we’ve had. I can’t handle how miserable I feel.

Anyhoo, you told me the reason why you hated our school. Guess all schools are actually rotten to the core. You told me how school wasted your potential, and that you wished you could have gotten an apprenticeship instead (since your father already asked). You told me how you hated the fact that your father has a lot of connections, which is the precise reason why you avoided your previous school/ course. Gods, we laughed and ranted our hearts out tonight! I totally had a lot of fun! I just wish that it was the same for you.

A few drinks later and my bladder can’t take it anymore. I asked you to accompany me to the rest room (we were both new to the place, haha). God, you were so adamant not to!

“God, do that to your okc boys.”

I saw you smoking outside, upon returning from the restroom and decided to just join you. I’d rather spend my time standing beside you than sitting by myself alone. You asked if I had a curfew and I shook my head. You asked for my address so you can walk me to my house.

“It’s fine. Let’s just go back where we met tonight. I can walk home.”

“No! What kind of man do you think I am? I might be an asshole, but I’m a gentleman with etiquette. Speaking of which, will you offer me coffee?”

“NO.”

“Don’t you have etiquette? I was hoping to get atleast a glass of water..”

“Nawp, go home already!”

I noticed a cool place while we were in the car. It had a humongous display of dino skeleton! I pointed it out to you and you said:

“Yeah, next time I come back..”

We got out of the car and started walking towards my house. There was a car passing by, but it won’t hit me by no means. You jokingly said:

“See! If I weren’t here to escort you home, you’d probably get hit by that car!”

“That car won’t hit me at all! And I’m not that drunk; I can walk home.”

“Naaaah, I’ll walk with you.”

We walked a looooooong way from the lrt station. Welp, I love walking home. Especially if I get to walk by your side...

You were panting by the time we were on our street! It was funny ‘cause you kept complaining. I think it’s cute though...

Soon enough, you were in the car, on your way home. We bid our goodbyes. I waited on our street until I can’t see that car anymore. It dawned upon me right then- the sadness I was trying to hide tonight when you told me that you were going home. We won’t play league together anymore; you’re gonna try your best to act like a responsible adult.

At home, I saw a message on my discord. It was from you.

“ you home yet? “

I thanked you for the lovely evening.

“you're welcome! praise me more!!! im home n btw”

“ That was fast @@ You're the greatest human being to ever grace the planet~ “

“ man... make it a little more believable at the least “

“Alriiiggght”

“try again~ go!!”

“ You're an asshole but at the same time a gentleman “

“ see was that so hard!? work on the delivery though “

“ Which is highly contradictory “

“ no its not. u suck “

“ U suck too “

I remember consulting runes about a month ago. It said that my future decisions will rely on someone else leaving. Someone close to me. I thought that was my friends- Maj and Nikki were sent home as well. I don’t get to see them a lot anymore. Sleepovers were over. Their absence hit me as well, but it did not prepare me for what I’d feel when you said that you were leaving...

Guess it’s time for me to grow up as well. No more hiding behind the safety of my room. I just wish I hugged you before you left...

I realized it last night, you know? My feelings for you. Told myself not to fall since I’m still trying to heal myself from the scars of the past- I knew you were on the same boat. That didn’t help though. I still fell for you, stupid cocky human.

Come back soon, alright? I’d love to hear your stories again.

Love, Amoeba

P.S. You took me by surprise when you asked me to go out with you.

“Let’s date! I won’t cheat on you.”

Tongue-tied, I just laughed it off. I didn’t know what to say. You looked serious but I didn’t know if you were just kidding or not. Ask me again when we’re both ready, okay?

#journal #journal entry #feelings #things i wanted to say

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