#i decided to use hurt as my 'prompt' because that's the song i listened to while i was writing this

[lovemikage]

𝘽𝙀𝘿 𝘾𝙃𝙀𝙈 : 𝙢𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙧𝙪 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙖 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ( 𝙛𝙩. 𝙞𝙨𝙖𝙜𝙞 )

summary: you confess to your boyfriend bachira you think his best friend isagi is cute. he decides to do some meddling of his own. wc: 1.4k warnings: fem!reader, dub-conish (reader isn't aware isagi is there oops), humiliation, praise, gratuitous dialogue a/n: hello hello beautiful people ! this is my submission for @ficsforgaza 's kinktober event, with the prompt bachira & humiliation ! please check out the other writers + fics if they tickle your fancy. i have not written smut like this in ... a year, i think, so please be gentle with me. hope you love it, please comment & rb if you do ! credit to @/cafekitsune for the beautiful mdni divider !

" he feels the same, you know. i don’t know why you were so secretive. "

your eyes, previously squeezed shut, fly open, and every muscle that had been turned into jelly from your recent orgasm tenses up immediately. you shift with the intention to move away from your boyfriend, but it’s in vain – bachira’s large palm and long fingers splay against your pelvis, pushing you down into the bed. it doesn’t hurt, nothing with bachira ever does, but it’s insistent in the same way his fingers circling your clit are. 

" what do you – ah! – m-meguru, what do you m-mean? " you know what he means, you’re unsure why you’re asking. bachira doesn’t mind, though, he always loves to tell a story. 

“ well – " his tone is sing-song, sickly sweet, and it’s clear he’s having way more fun than he should be ( than you think he should be, anyway ). a lithe finger pushes its way through your folds to slip inside of you, and your hips buck at the same time you whine – too much, not yet, still sensitive. he won’t listen, “ remember that one time you told me ‘sagi was cute? then played it off like you were joking? you were right, by the way, so don’t think i’m mad, promise i’m not. but it got me thinking – "

one finger turns to two and the burn makes you squeeze your eyes shut again. it’s nothing compared to the stretch of his cock, but enough to make you just that little bit uncomfortable. it doesn’t help that you’re so on edge, “ bachira – "

“ shhhhh. anyway, it got me thinking, you know? he’d never admit it ‘cause he’s my best friend, but i know he thinks you’re cute. " the look you give him has his head shaking, “ don’t talk! i’m not done – i remembered, when we first met you he called dibs. you liked me more – obviously – so that didn’t matter, just a funny joke after the fact. regardless, i had the idea to … well, i was eavesdropping on you the other day – "

an indignant sound leaves you and you squirm more; bachira sighs, lets his golden eyes flick down to your ankle, pretty pink panties dangling from them. quickly he pauses, uses the hand on your hips to pick it up. you whimper, both from the loss of movement inside of you and because you know what he’s about to do, you’ve had enough sex throughout the course of your relationship ( more than normal, according to your friends ). you’re proved right when he taps the side of your cheek, prompting you to open up – you do, ever-obedient, despite the red-hot humiliation burning in your cheeks. cotton presses between your lips and fills your mouth, your whine becomes muffled. bachira beams, “ there we go. always so good for me, hm? “ another pat to your cheek. your eyes start to water – you feel like a prized showdog or something. 

“ much better. " you fight the urge to roll your eyes; it doesn’t last long because bachira’s back to hovering next to you, his shadow imposing. you feel vulnerable, exposed and open for whatever he wants to do. right now, it seems like all he wants to do is make you cum in the most embarrassing way possible. he scissors his fingers and grins when you cry out, big and goofy and too lighthearted for what he’s talking about, “ back to what i was saying – i was eavesdropping on you and your friends the other night. sue me, i’m curious. heard you talking about him – agreeing when one of them said he’s hot, you know, stuff like that. kept it in the back of my mind for later. but then – yesterday, when i came home, i got here earlier than you thought i did. found you. ” 

your mind races in an attempt to figure out where your boyfriend is going with all of this. yesterday, yesterday – oh. oh my god. 

“ you’re so cute when you moan, you know? i know i always tell you, but i can’t help it. so pretty, just like – " bachira curls his fingers, lets them brush against that sweet, spongy spot inside of you that makes you see stars, eliciting a low, muffled moan, “ – that. you were doing that, saying my name, like always. i was just about ready to go in when i heard his, too. s’when i realized it was time. "

the tears previously welling up fall, now. big, fat droplets running down your face, taking your mascara with them and smearing the pretty makeup you’d done for your date tonight. you feel pathetic, like you’d been caught. it makes sense, now; you thought you had heard him come in before he announced himself, but it didn’t make sense, so you brushed it off. now you realize he had just gone back out and made a point of announcing his entrance the second time. you want to look away in embarrassment but bachira won’t let you, his fingers picking up their pace at the same time he grips your chin in his hand. combined with the panties stuffing your mouth, you can’t say what you want to – i’m sorry, i’m sorry, it doesn’t mean anything, i’m sorry. 

what’s worse is it all feels so good, bachira’s fingers pumping inside of you at an almost dizzying pace, thumb carefully circling your clit with just enough pressure to make all thoughts leave your head. you can feel your orgasm fast approaching, a knot in your tummy threatening to unravel. it always amazes you, how bachira knows just how to make you fall apart within seconds. he knows you inside and out, could take you apart and put you back together again. sometimes you think he’d probably like to. 

in your panicked state, though, you hadn’t realized what he said – it’s time. time for what?

wide, wet eyes, embarrassed and earnest all at once, meet bachira’s own – tender, loving, with that bit of mischief behind them. the eyes you love so much. 

as always, he seems to read your mind, and his soft, fond smile turns to another shit-eating grin. his fingers don’t stop their pace when he speaks again, “ thought i’d ask him to join us. you’d like that, wouldn’t you baby? oh – " his words break off into a moan, his collected exterior cracking if only for a moment. the way you clench around him tells him everything he needs to know. 

not like he’d just take that as an answer, though. 

“ she likes that, huh? pretty pussy needs two cocks to be satisfied. i know, i know, s’okay – we just need to make sure that you want it. i need to make sure you want it. don’t needa use your words, you know that. be good for me, baby, like you always are. ”

you break, then – you gush around the fingers digging deep inside of you, your eyes blown wide, glazed over from his sweet talk. all embarrassment melts away, your brain mush. while your legs shake and your hips buck you nod, almost wildly, whining and crying around the intrusion in your mouth while bachira fucks you through it all. you do want isagi here, you want them both, you want – everything, really. your hand grips his arm so hard you’re sure you’re leaving nail marks, pulling him close in what you can only describe as an attempt to make him a part of you. your bachira. 

“ fuck this. you’re an asshole, bachira. can’t believe you made me fucking watch. i’ll be there in ten. ”

you freeze, snapped out of subspace in an instant. you register a lot of things, then – how hard bachira is against your leg, cock thick and heavy and leaking; how that voice definitely belonged to isagi, irritated and gruff; and how bachira’s no longer grinning at you but at the laptop set up on his desk. the one you’d thought was off. 

“ don’t be mad. ” again, bachira knows you, which is why he says it the second the call drops. you’re too embarrassed to speak, just looking at him dumbfounded and still fucked out from your previous orgasms, “ and don’t try to clean up. he’ll be sad if it’s not messy. ”

you shut your eyes to try and push away the humiliation. there’s a pause from your boyfriend, and while you can’t see him, you can feel him slinking down the bed, making himself comfortable between your thighs. you crack an eye open to see him looking up at you, almost pleading, “ think you can give me one more? pleaseeeee. he’s gonna hog you when he gets here! ”

you can’t do much else but nod, accepting your fate. it was what you wanted, after all.

[taintedcigs]

i slept with someone from corroded coffin and all i got was this stupid song written about me.

ROCKSTAR!FBOY!EDDIE X READER

summary: fooling around with a famous rockstar who's a notorious playboy sounds perfect on paper, until you catch feelings for him. that's why you decide to end things, to not get your feelings get hurt, and its all going perfectly, until eddie releases a song, written all about you.

warnings: smut, p in v, MINORS DNI!!!!, pet names, praising?, lovey dovey, kinda angst and arguments, drgs & alcohol mention, swearing? idk this is kinda cheesy n cute with a mix of fluff sprinkled honestly!

author's note: the indented parts are texts between steve and reader and thenn reader and eddie. they look confusing as fuck im sorry i just wanted to make them look unique but they look stupid. also yes. i patted myself in the back after i found this title (thank you fob). and yes the lyrics are inspired by i don't care im on a fob kick sue me! and ofc fboy!eddie isn't actually that much of a fboy bc if i can't write lovesick eddie ill die. this is super cheesy so i still struggled a lot but UGH. not proof-read ignore all mistakes

also credits to @dumplingsjinson for the prompts! (i changed them but still!) and @saradika for the dividers! pls like + rb + interact w me in anyway to support my writings!! ty!!

DINGUS sent you a spotify link. did you listen to this? yeah. its kinda romantic. no. the lyrics are insane. n all about u okay? are u at the party rn? yeah. u comin? soon he’s there too u already knew that, didn’t u?  false accusations r rude, steve.

You click your phone off with a groan, but he was right. You couldn’t stay away from him, and maybe, just maybe, this was your way of running into him, accidentally. 

Because ever since he released the song, the tabloids had gone crazy with it, half of the lyrics screamed you and all of the old headlines pointed at you, the mystery girl Eddie used to be seen with, and you really were growing tired of seeing your name next to “Munson’s new girl.” 

Because you weren’t his new girl, you weren’t his anything. He was a cocky asshole who was good with a guitar and was even better at fucking. And that was something both of you could relate to, the only thing you had in common with him. Or, so you thought. 

But of course, as with everything else, the things between you changed, you started staying over, he started staying over, and the two of you even went on fucking dates, disguising them under ‘we were just hungry, is all.’ 

You tried to keep up the cool girl act, like you could fuck someone and not catch feelings. Every inch of you itched not to care, to act like it was all fine, but it was all fucking bullshit, you cared, so fucking much that your chest ached. The more you got to know him, the more you fell for him, and the more you fell for him, the more you realized there was no fucking way this would work. 

Cocky rockstar who spent more time doing drugs than sleeping, with girls all over him? The imaginary red flag bells rang in your ear, even now. He wasn’t looking for a relationship and you knew that. That’s why you ended it two months ago. Or at least, you started ignoring him two months ago. 

Yet, he had been calling and texting you, wanting to meet up, drunken slurs of nonsense, gibberish voicemails, and yet you never answered, because if you did, you knew you’d be back to pathetically swooning over him.

Until today, just because of that stupid song, like it meant anything. That douchebag probably wrote songs about every girl he fucked. 

You weren’t special. 

Another ding sound from your phone almost startled you, the contact name made you groan even louder. “don’t FUCKING answer.” That didn’t mean shit. It was just something stupid to make you feel better that you couldn’t stay away from him, because you knew, deep down that if you really didn’t want him to contact you, you would’ve deleted his number, and blocked him. You were too chicken shit to do that, and still desperately wanted to hear from him. 

So you settled on that contact name. Like it made a difference, like it changed anything. 

DONT FUCKING ANSWER did you listen to the song?

Don’t fucking answer. The contact name should be enough to convince yourself that.

Too late.

                                                                   no. don’t lie to me, sweetheart.                                                                            why would i lie?

You sink into the couch, a much quieter corner of the party, not even bothering to socialize. Your brows furrow, index finger flying to your lips anxiously, as you chew on it to patiently wait for an answer.

You sip on your drink with a nervous gaze on your screen, barely noticing the way the couch sink further when someone else took a seat next to you. 

“Hi.” The gravelly voice pulls your attention away from the screen, making you set your drink aside as you look up, finding yourself face-to-face with him. 

Shaggy bangs cascade onto his forehead, and with your exaggeration, it looks longer than the last time you saw him. Black jeans cladded with chains. A graphic tee messily thrown over his heavily tatted chest, that you could still imagine right about now—pathetic. He looked just about the same, the deep dimple adorning his soft cheeks had seemed to disappear, wearing a scowl instead, that tiny voice in your head told you that was your doing, that maybe he was just as miserable as you. Maybe your feelings weren’t fully one-sided.  

Shit. 

“Eddie?” Squeaky, and annoying, you were sure that’s how your tone sounded, yet he didn’t seem to comment on it.

“‘m glad you remember my name, sweetheart,” he scoffs sarcastically, leaning further into the plush couch, elbow propped at the side, eyeing you with frustration. 

“W—what the hell are you doing here?” You stutter as if you weren’t expecting to run into him. Full of bullshit. 

“Did ya really think you could ignore me forever, huh?” He tilts his head slightly, almost expectedly, earning an eye roll from you. 

“I wasn’t ignoring yo—”

Eddie tuts quickly, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that cuts through the ambient noise of the party, “I thought we said no more lies, huh?” 

With a huff, “Why are you here, Eddie?” you mumble.

“Am I not allowed to party?” He banters, brows slightly raised, making you huff out an exasperated breath, your eyes bore into him, almost to signal him ‘Take this seriously.’

“I wanted to know what you thought.” He shrugs like it was normal to just come running after everything just to know what you thought of the song. 

“The song?” He nods in confirmation.

“Didn’t like it,” you confess, avoiding his gaze, but your brows betray you, lifting ever so slightly.

He tsks, shutting you off quickly, “You see that little quirk your brow did? That only happens when you lie, you can’t help it. You do that when I ask you if you ate the last pizza slice, or when I ask if you watched the next episode of the show we were supposed to watch together, or when you—” 

“Fine, fine! I liked it,” you groan, interrupting him and suddenly standing up from the comfort of the couch, being so face-to-face with him immediately making your nerves bubble.

“Just liked?” He tilts his head slightly, a smirk curving on his lips. 

A deep sigh of breath, “what do you want, Munson?”

He stands up with you, making you back away from him with a heavy footstep, the entire party was too loud and crowded, yet, in this stupid corner, it was just the two of you. “For you to admit that you loooved the song, and how much you missed me,” he sing-songs, taking a step closer to you, musky smell invading your senses, making you take a deep breath.

Both of you stand near the wall, and it should be awkward, it should be enough to make you leave, but all it does is draw you closer to him.

“You’re annoying.” 

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I wasn’t avoiding—” He tuts, with his stupid index finger up, rejecting your lie.

“I—I don’t know what you expected.” You shrug, so nonchalantly that his gaze narrows, chest aching with the implications of your words.

“We both knew this wouldn’t last forever, didn’t we?” You chew the inside of your lip to stop those tears that had been begging to flow ever since you listened to the song, wiping off that smirk on Eddie’s lips. 

“Would’ve been nice if I got a reminder, and not have been just fully ghosted, huh?” The brunette grumbles with a downturn of his lips, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“Oh, don’t act all high and mighty, isn’t that what you do all the fucking time?” you snap, gaze narrowed, and arms crossed against your chest. 

“Fuck girls and then leave them? Did it crush your ego this fucking much that I did before you could?” 

“What the fuck does that mean?” He retaliates. 

“It means I was smart enough to pull myself away from your bullshit,” you rasp, disdain written all over your face.The room seems to shrink as the distance between you decreases. 

Another step closer to you, and you didn’t realize your back had hit the wall now. “My bullshit? God, that’s fucking rich, if I seem to recall correctly sweetheart, you were in this as much as I fucking was!”

“Oh, was I?” You bark out a chuckle, cruel, mocking, “I don’t remember being okay with you fucking half the city.” Realization of how bitter and jealous that sounds, dawns on you much later than the words leave your lips, and thankfully, Eddie’s too fucking immersed to realize the double meaning of your words. 

“Are you fucking kidding? No strings attached! Non-exclusive! That’s what you fuckin’ signed up for!” His voice echoes, mirroring his frustration, and you open your mouth.

But he doesn’t let you speak further, cutting you off sharply. “Is this all because of that new guy you’re seein’?” 

“What? What guy?” 

“The one who was all over you earlier,” he bites out, jaw clenched, and you can almost taste his bitterness in the air.  

“The same one you fucked at Jeff’s party.”

“Are you stalking me, Munson?” 

“Did you just want an excuse to end things? Are the two of you serious or somethin’?” His voice wavered between anger and desperation, gaze pathetically searching for yours, to gauge your reaction.

You scoff. Did he really think you’d end things because of a stupid fling you had which in the first place occurred just so you could forget him? He was so goddamn clueless it drove you insane. 

But what you didn’t realize was that you were just as clueless, if not more, because why would he write a song all about you, if this was just about sex? Because who would get so jealous of someone they didn’t care about? 

Say my name and his in the same breath.

I dare you to say they taste the same. 

The lyrics from his stupid song swirled your thoughts, yet you were still too stupid to see it, weren’t you?

Another step closer to you, a dangerous game the two of you liked to play. He smelled alluring, a fucked up mix of nicotine, his musky cologne, and that damn leather jacket. “Do you really think, he could compare to me, sweetheart?” 

Say my name and his in the same breath.

“Tell me he’s fucking better, and he’s actually what you want, and I’ll fucking leave, I’ll bury all the other songs I wrote, tell me, and I’ll be out of your hair forever.”

I dare you to say they taste the same. 

And just like that, all the defenses you put up, all the times you ignored him, they are cracked, disappearing into thin air. You hate it, you hate that he has this effect on you, you can feel your mind getting hazier, eyes blinking rapidly to process what the fuck is going on, and his face is mere inches away from yours. You knew their names didn’t taste the same. And you knew he could never ever compare to Eddie.

“Tell me,” he encourages, dares you to. You fail to notice how much emotion his gaze carries, how the corners of his lips twitch, just at the thought of you finally admitting you don’t want him. His stomach turns at the thought, this is his last chance, he knows that, and he can’t fucking lose you. He can’t. 

And you don’t know any of that, but you knew, know that no one else could compare to him. And you hate yourself for thinking that, you hate yourself for falling for him, the world stops rotating on its axis when he’s in your peripheral vision, and it’s fucking disgusting. Pathetic. Stupid. Because you know the two of you have no chance. But here you are. 

“H—he is b—” Of course, your brow quirks up almost immediately, betraying you quicker than you can even attempt to lie. 

That dawning smirk appears on his lips again, it’s mocking, and just as much smug. You want to wipe it off of his stupidly pretty face. “Tell me,” he dares you, again. This time much cockier and confident, and you suddenly realize how small you feel under him.

“He isn’t,” your meek voice is barely audible.

And you don’t register the shaky breath he draws when the words leave your lips, giving him the confirmation he needs. You wanted him, he had no fucking clue why you ghosted him, yet you still wanted him. Just as much as he wanted you. 

Both of his hands were placed on the wall now, towering over you, making your breath get caught up in your throat. “Speak up.”

“No, fuck! You know he’s not, you know he could never fucking compare to you, you fucking know tha—” He shuts you up with a rough kiss, lips pressed against yours messily, letting the petty comments die down your throat. Because this is all he wanted, needed to hear anyway. 

“Up,” he grunts into the kiss, tapping your thighs, hoisting you up from your waist to help you wrap your legs around him, tight, he wants you at his mercy, locked to him. 

You wrap your legs around him, barely, the melty sensation in your knees making you so shaky that he barks out a laugh into your lips, holding you close, firm, the butterflies in your stomach traveling all across your body.

He lifts you up as if you are weightless, arms wrapped around you strongly as he carries you to the nearest empty bedroom, impressively without hitting your back anywhere, so roughly that your core throbs at the feeling of his arms around you.

“Baby,” he mutters as he lowers you down on the bed swiftly, smooth, gaze darkened and pupils blown wide, all the pent up desire waiting to explode. 

“Eddie,” you beg, shaky voice sounding purely angelic to his ears once he got rid of his shirt, shrugging it off with a huff, his fingertips grazing against your top, feeling your hardened nipples, causing gasps out of you, he’s quick to pull it over your head while you run your fingers up the grooves of his stomach, the tip of your fingertips almost burns everywhere you touch. 

He groans at the sight of your bare breasts, “missed thi-you,” he corrects himself, because that’s all he wanted anyways, you. 

He nips at your nipples, tongue good at giving attention to both of them, all wet and warm, making you squirm under his touch, you’re quick to get rid of everything else, leaving you in your panties, making him grunt. 

The pad of his thumb rubs against your left nipple, leaving goosebumps in its wake, while his other hand travels down your chest, then your stomach, finally drawing circles when it stops between your thighs, ghosting over your panties before he tugs them down your legs, spreading them apart with a slight hum, pupils blown so wide that you can’t admire those chocolate hues anymore. 

He visually drinks in that sight of you, laid down on the couch, eyes squeezed shut, back arched, and he hasn’t even touched you yet. You’re completely at his mercy and his chest aches with need. “So pretty like this f’me,” he coos into your chest, pushing his middle finger inside of you. Making you feel so good that you can’t stop the gasps coming out of your lips.   

Pleasure shivers through everywhere he sucks and touches, his finger eases into you when he adds another one, a moan escaping you quickly. “Need to be in here, sweetheart, d’ya have any idea how much I missed this?” 

You don’t. You don’t know about the sleepless nights, the drunken ones, the drug-induced ones in an attempt to recreate the high you gave him. It’s fucked up, it’s insanely toxic. Yet, he can’t get enough of you. 

His gaze upon you is dangerous, maybe it’s because he had missed you so goddamn much, or maybe because he didn’t know where this would lead, but it felt fucking sentimental, different somehow, and he could feel you, everywhere on his skin.

Your hips start rocking up against him when the pad of his thumb flicks over your clit, making you arch your back, whines, mumbles leaving your lips. And all he can muster is, “so goddamn beautiful, look at you whining for me.”

You can feel his bulge rub against your thigh every now and then, it’s distracting, almost agonizing. You desperately need it inside of you, you had missed him, missed his touch, missed the feeling of him filling you to the brim, you missed seeing his face contort in pleasure when he was inside of you, you wanted him to never forget you again. 

That’s why you feel so numb, can barely speak, and of course, Eddie notices, how unusually quiet you are, and he wants to make this unforgettable, just so you have another reason to come back to him. Just so you don’t leave him, just so you stay forever. 

“Gone too quiet on me, honey, tell me what you need,” he coos down at you, thumb still caressing your pussy, and all you can fucking do is chew down on your bottom lips, eyeing his bulge that was begging to get out. And he barks out a goddamn chuckle, “P—please, Eddie.” Pathetically leaves your lips. 

And normally he would make you beg, tease further, but he reaches to tug down his pants quickly, because fuck, he had missed you. And he can’t bear the thought of not being inside of you any longer. 

Thinking is not your strongest suit right now either, your brain is mushy, all the nights and days spent thinking about him, about this explodes into your body. Your pussy aches when you finally see his cock again, a sound of need leaving your lips as you eye his length, so big that pleasure ripples through you, especially when you see his gushy tip, glistening with pre-cum. 

You want every fucking inch inside of you, and Eddie’s more than ready to oblige, “What do you need, baby? Tell me.”

“Need you, Eddie,” you moan, all fucked out, his fingers slip in and out of you still, but it isn’t enough for him. He needs more, he craves your validation like he never has before. 

“God, you’re soakin’ my fingers, princess,” he grunts, wedging himself between your thighs, weeping cock drips onto your inner thighs, making you moan breathlessly. “Tell me exactly what you fuckin’ want, honey.”

“Eddie.” His name sounds like silk, even when it’s so lewd, Eddie decides, and it makes him let out an impatient huff. “P—please. Need you to fuck me.” It’s so goddamn desperate that you can feel heat rise to your cheeks, but it’s everything to him.

“Want you to fuck me like you mean it.”

“Oh, that’s easy, sweetheart,” he grunts, lining his cock through your entrance, coating himself in your slick, enjoying your mewls before he doesn’t hesitate to push his cock inside of you, inch by inch, relishing the way you cry out for him. 

Greedily, you rock your hips into him, making him let out a frustrated groan. “Have no fuckin’ idea how much I missed this greedy cunt, sweetheart, shit.” He thrusts in a few more inches, and breathless moans and babbles of his name fill the air.

“Suckin’ me right in, baby, fuck, you’re so pretty like this, mhmm.” His cock moves inside of you, and your hands are wrapped around his back, desperately clawing at it, the fullness making you want more, “you like that, baby, like bein’ full of me?” A heavy sound leaves his lips, pathetic and you pulse around him. 

“S’so good Eddie, and s’big,” you barely manage to let out, and he watches you with that burning amber gaze, thrusting all the way in without hesitation. Those plushy lips that hang open, that filthy mouth, the prettiest fucking features—you, were going to be the death of him. 

Maybe it’s because you had missed him, or maybe because you hadn’t experienced this in a long time, or fuck, maybe, just maybe that the song had created a new type of need between the two of you. Using sex as a sort of connection that the both of you desperately needed. But, shit, was it this different this time. 

He felt different—his lips, touch, skin as it slapped against yours, it was different. 

Full. You feel so fucking full that your back involuntarily arches against him, fingers clenching desperately, your screams and cries filling the room the more he plunges inside of you, deeper, hungry, and just as greedy as you. 

“Yeah, better than that asshole?” It rolls off his lips so bitter and jealous that you can barely register it. Not being used to this possessive side of him, and it’s glorious, especially when he’s pounding his frustrations and insecurities into you. 

“Mhmm, so much better.” You clawed at his back, every thrust of his hip making you feel higher and higher, mind filled with nothing but him. 

“So pretty like this when you say my name, sweetheart… so goddamn beautiful, and all mine, yea?” He wants a confirmation, and wants to hear you say it, his head ducking between your breasts again to kiss, taste, suckle them. Make sure he never forgets it. 

“Wanna hear you say it.” He hums, the vibrations reverberating through your chest straight into your core, cock plowed so deep inside of you that you can barely speak through your cries, hitting that sweet spot that every other asshole misses. 

You’re too scared to give him what he wants. But you feel him, everywhere, and you still want more, of course, you’re his. That’s all you fucking wanted anyway. Plushy lips shake as you gaze up at him, his amber hues are so sticky-sweet that you still struggle to process it, words come out in a ramble “All yours, Eddie.”

His mouth crashes onto yours roughly, desire coursing through both of your bodies, almost interconnected. “Shit, fuckin’ hell sweetheart, ‘m not gonna last long.” His thrusts are getting sloppier, yet you feel the ravaging desire coursing through your veins. 

“So perfect,” he murmurs, the kiss he lays on your lips just as relentless, not letting you breathe or think for a goddamn second, you’re so goddamn close.

And you wonder, how the fuck did you even go two months without this? Without him?

“Eddie!” You cry out once you feel the pad of his thumb rubbing against your clit, eyes squeezed shut as your orgasm washes over you. Pure bliss overtakes you while you claw at his back, his body tenses, and cock flexes as he cums inside of you, groans and curses left in your hair. 

Minutes pass of you lying next to each other, breathless, processing everything that just transpired. And you should feel guilty, embarrassed, and should run to the hills for doing this with him again. 

But you’re obsessed, addicted. He’s like an excitement that you’re sure you’ve never felt before, running through your veins, like a fucking drug. 

Both of you get dressed in silence, the party booming outside is quick to bring the two of you back to reality, and out of the trance that he pulled you in. 

He breaks your bewilderment with a slight “Fuck.” Standing on the opposite side of the bed before he fully turns to you. “This wasn’t—I was supposed to talk to you.” He mutters, fingertips anxiously running through his tousled hair.

Caught off guard and awfully curious, you mumble, “About what?”

“The song…”

“I told you I liked it.”

His brow furrows deeper, and he shakes his head in frustration. “No, that’s not it—uh, did you not listen to the lyrics?”

“I did.”

“And?”

Your face searches his for some clarity, you take a step closer to him, the distance between the two of you was still awfully much according to him. “What are you asking of me, Eddie? Did you really think one song would just solve everything?”

“You don’t get it, do you?”

“W—what am I supposed to get Eddie? You wanna have your cake and eat it too! And I just can’t fucking do that, not anymore.”

“That’s—that’s not it!” His voice wavers, with urgency, and desperation in his tone. He takes a step forward, attempting to bridge the emotional gap, feeling so fucking frustrated that he wants to rip his hair out.

“Then fucking explain it to me!” You plead. 

“You want an explanation, fine! Fucking fine!” His frustration echoed through the room, pacing back and forth, making you take a deep breath. 

Was he… actually gonna do this? 

“You wanna know what the fuck I’ve been doing ever since you ghosted me?” He ran a hand through his hair, scared, gaze all mellow and vulnerable in a way you have never seen before. It makes your shoulders slump when you nod. 

“I go to those stupid Hollywood parties, meet asshole rockstars—the most interesting shit, yet somehow someway the thought of you will pop up in my mind, uncalled for, might I add, and then I can’t stop thinking about it, can’t stop thinking about you the whole fucking day.” Your eyes widen, trying to absorb his revelation, yet he won’t stop rambling and you feel your chest tighten with each word, fuck, he’s finally doing it.

“I—I never—shit! I never thought myself capable of feeling things like this, but fuck, you came along, with that goddamn smile, throwing a manicured middle finger right in my face, a—and just put up with my bullshit.” His voice softened, and he couldn’t help but trace the contours of your face, to desperately know if you were on the same boat, and you look at him with such glistened eyes that his heart leaps to his stomach. 

“My world flipped upside down, and you have proven me, so goddamn wrong that I don’t even know who the fuck I am anymore!” The tears almost welled in your eyes, because, fuck, there was no way this was real.  

You reached out instinctively, the corner of your mouth twitching uncontrollably. “E—Eddie, please… please stop saying things you don’t fucking mean.” 

“Things I don’t mean?” He gives you a breathy chuckle, ironic, and nowhere near funny. His eyes bore into yours, intense and searching. “Do you think I like feeling whatever the hell this is? I fucking don’t, you have me acting like someone I’m so unfamiliar with, to the point where it scares me. All I can think about is you, you, you, because you occupy every single space of my mind.” Your eyes soften, the room seemingly pulsing with his emotions, making you feel hot everywhere on your body. 

He felt the same way.

Eddie felt the same way. 

“B—but fuck I’m scared, honey, I’m so goddamn scared,” He admits, the vulnerability in his voice cutting through the tension before he’s at your side, calloused hands grabbing you by the shoulder, so softly that you melt into him.

“Because what if—what if all of this comes crashing down one day?” His voice trembles, gaze avoiding yours, he was scared, so goddamn scared of losing you. Forever. He doesn’t want that, he couldn’t afford that. 

“Just two months away from you fucking sucked. I didn’t—I don’t wanna feel these things, but you make it so hard not to.”  His forehead rests against yours, making you suck in a deep breath, it’s all so fucking sentimental, and all you wanna do this kiss him, tell him you feel the exact same way. Tell him about your fears. 

“And now I can’t fucking stop, fuck,” He confesses, admission punctuated by a frustrated sigh. 

“I wrote you a song,” he gently caresses your cheek, and you’re so scared to look up at him, to meet his tender gaze, because you know you can’t hold yourself back. 

“I came over to this party in a frenzy when I found out you’d be here,” he continued, his fingers tracing a delicate pattern along your jawline. “I—I just I haven’t even been able to touch another girl.” Your eyes snap open, you’re sure they’re almost heart-shaped now, with the adoration you look at him.

“And, do you actually fucking think I'd write songs for just anyone—” His question lingers in the air before you shut him up with a kiss, rough, sweet, and making Eddie feel dizzy all over, his head struggles to comprehend it all, breathless but he manages to react just in time.

The booming music becoming a mere background noise when he had you, mind swirling with all the possibilities and mouth begging to never stop tasting you. He wants to let you completely engulf him, feel you everywhere.

Everything he wanted and more.

He fucking hates himself for doing this, but he pulls away, mesmerized, eyes so wide that you can’t believe this is Eddie, he’s all flustered, salmon pink. And it makes a wider grin sit on your lips. “So… you—uh, what does this mean?”

You smile at him, lips widely stretching into a grin, as you shrug. “It means I feel the same, Eddie.” you admit, tone a tender reassurance. “That’s why I tried to shut you out… to try to move on, because I was scared—fuck, but I feel the same way.”

“So, does that mean we're dating now?”

“We can take things slow, figure everything out?” you mutter with a shy gaze, lips itching to twitch into a smile, again. “But I—uh—I like you, I really, really like you.”

“Gone soft on me already, sweetheart?” he mumbles with a stupid grin, making you elbow him softly, with an exaggerated playful huff. 

He’s quick to flinch, rubbing his arm as if you even delivered a powerful blow. “Ow—what the hell is wrong with you?”

“You think I’m going soft? You’re the one who wrote his feelings as an exaggerated love song!” 

He leans further slightly, his grin widening when you gave him those adorable eyes, finding you both equally amusing and endearing. “Oh… just you wait.”

You arched a brow, curiosity piqued, “What the hell does that mean?”

“The album is coming out soon, sweetheart. If you think this was an exaggeration, you should hear the whole fucking thing.”

That glint re-appears in your eyes just as quickly, gaze softening as you melt into his embrace.

“You’re an idiot, Eddie Munson.” You tease, scrunching your nose at him, so adorably that he leans down and presses a gentle kiss onto your hair.

He's an idiot, a total complete fucking idiot, but he's all yours.

[thewritingbeforesunrise]

Like Lava.

18+ ONLY. MINORS DNI

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A/N: The idea for this fic was prompted by this post by the wonderful @twistedmelodies. This thought plagued my mind so much that I had to do something about it.

I suggest you listen to the song "My Name Is Human" by Highly Suspect while reading this.

Word count: 4.2K

Pairing: Jake x fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW 18+ONLY, graphic sexual content, oral (m! and f! receiving), protected penetrative sex, use of restraints.

Summary: A terrible day at work takes an unexpected turn when you decide to go to a bar to get a drink.

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The bar was still packed when you entered. Much to your dismay.

It was late and you were already overstimulated by the longest shift ever at work.

You thought that a hot shower could make you feel better but you clearly needed something stronger.

You needed a drink to help your brain finally relax and that place was the closest one to your house that could provide you one.

You didn't look anyone in the face there, you just made a beeline towards the bar and quickly got the attention of the bartender.

You asked for a whiskey neat and sat on a stool while you waited.

He placed the glass in front of you with a smile and turned to serve another customer.

You had just grabbed the drink and were ready to have a much needed gulp of liquor when a hand knocked against yours, making the drink spill over the bar top and the glass fall from your grasp.

The glass crashed onto the floor with a loud noise, sending shards everywhere and you shivered at the sound, feeling your anger flare.

You bit the inside of your cheek to try and make your anger subside but it didn't work.

You quickly turned around with your cheeks reddened and your nostrils flaring, ready to tell off whoever the culprit was, but those venomous words died on your tongue when you were met with sweet dark eyes and a heartstopping apologetic smile.

He started apologizing profusely, asking if you were hurt, if he had ruined your clothes and already flagging the bartender to buy you another drink.

“I'm so sorry, I'm very clumsy sometimes. I’m Jake, by the way” The stranger said, extending his hand for you to shake.

You introduced yourself too and took his hand in yours.

His skin was so soft and warm that you felt your icy demeanor starting to crack.

At that moment you finally took him in.

He was beautiful.

His hair was long and looked so soft you wanted to sink your hands in it. It was glowing beautifully in the low light of the room.

He was wearing a simple black shirt that was almost totally unbuttoned, and black jeans. Nothing too fancy, but what caught your eye the most were the antique-looking silver pendants he had around his neck and the many rings and bracelets on his fingers and wrists.

You were regretting coming to that place with every cell of your being before meeting his eyes.

But something told you to stay and let this handsome stranger buy you a drink.

~

An hour and two drinks later you were still chatting and laughing with him at the bar.

He was incredibly funny and smart and you chatted about anything and everything; time had flown in his company.

And on top of that, you would have listened to him talk to no end because his voice was so intense and warm that it made you melt every second more.

You told him everything that happened at work that day and he listened to you with interest.

Then he told you that he had a bad day too. He was a musician, a guitarist, and that day it seemed like he just couldn't focus on notes and riffs. He kept messing up to the point that his own bandmates had kicked him out of the studio and went on practicing without him. He was so irritated with himself that he had almost risked destroying his guitar against the wall.

A comfortable silence fell around you after a while, and you were slowly losing yourself into his eyes, when the bartender signaled to the customers still lingering around that the bar was closing soon.

You were a bit disconsolate that your time with him had eventually come to an end, but when your eyes met his again, you saw a glint there.

He cleared his throat and came closer to you.

“I'm going to be very direct, okay?” He said while trailing a knuckle down your cheek, with a featherlight touch that made your skin cover with goosebumps.

“If I'm overstepping just tell me and we can forget I even said a word. We can go back to being strangers and you won't see me again I promise. Or we can be friends and meet for another drink whenever you want” he whispered.

You felt his hot breath on your neck when he came even closer and a shiver ran down your spine.

“It's been a long day for us both, why don't we help each other unwind?” He whispered into your ear and your heart skipped a beat.

When his dark eyes met yours again, your mind went completely blank.

It was your heart talking when, a few seconds later, you answered him with a confidence you didn't know you possessed.

“Please, yes. Let's go to my place. It's ten minutes away from here” you said struggling to recognise your own voice.

The idea of having to wait ten minutes to feel him didn't really appeal to you but, thank God, he had a better solution.

“If you want, we could go to my place. It's just around the corner” he whispered onto your lips. His voice was like honey, so rich and voluptuous, that you felt drawn to him like a butterfly to the sweetest flower.

The need to feel him was increasing and your fingers were trembling when you grabbed your glass to finish your drink.

He closed his tab paying for your drinks too and then grasped your hand in his, leading you out of the bar.

Once outside, all you wanted to do was start running towards his house but he didn't immediately lead you there.

He stopped abruptly and turned around to face you.

His eyes bore holes into yours as he gently grasped your face between his warm hands.

You felt a tingle where his fingers were touching you and your cheeks heated immediately.

He leaned his forehead against yours and you felt his hot breath on your lips, before his voice graced your ears again.

“Do you really want this, love? I can walk you home if you don't.” He whispered gently, placing a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Please, I do” you answered him in a sliver of voice.

“May I kiss you?” He whispered caressing your bottom lip with his thumb.

You nodded and his lips were on yours. A shiver ran down your spine at the softness of his mouth.

He sucked gently at your bottom lip and you moaned at the feeling. His lips tasted of the whisky he had been drinking all night.

When his tongue licked into your mouth, you felt dizzy, and you clawed onto his jacket, feeling the soft corduroy under your fingertips.

You needed him.

He broke the kiss and caressed your cheeks with a sweet smile on his plump lips.

There was a little wind that kept blowing strands of his hair in his eyes, but that couldn't hide the fire burning there.

“Let's go” He said, grasping your hand and leading you towards his house.

~

The moment you two entered, you ended up pressed against the cool wood of his door.

His lips were on your neck, sucking and biting the delicate skin while his hands gripped your hips.

Your hands sank in his hair and you moaned at the softness of it.

As he lost himself in your neck, biting, licking and sucking your skin, you took a look around his flat, despite struggling to keep your eyes open because of the pleasure coursing through your veins.

He lived in a cozy open space and, if he hadn't told you before that he was a guitarist, you would have guessed it the moment you entered.

There were many guitars hanging on the walls, one more beautiful than the other.

The place was in semi-darkness, the only light was coming from outside, casting a dim glow on everything.

Near a window there was a desk with papers scattered on top and under it. Many were crumpled and others just scribbled, effectively portraying the chaos plaguing his mind that had gotten him kicked out of band practice.

You tugged gently on his hair and guided his mouth to yours, moaning at the feeling of his warm tongue caressing yours.

He broke the kiss and turned you around by your hips so he was behind you and could guide you towards his bedroom.

There were a few more guitars there, two acoustics on their respective stands and an electric that was thrown on the floor without care.

It was still plugged into an amp and you suspected that was the one that had been almost destroyed against the wall because of Jake's temper.

The room was bathed in a soft golden glow provided by the vintage lava lamp on the nightstand. The orange bubbles rising and falling inside reverberated on the walls creating a cozy atmosphere.

The double bed was completely unmade, the white sheets were incredibly crumpled but looked so soft.

“Sorry for the general mess and for the unmade bed, angel, I didn't plan on having company tonight” he whispered onto your lips before sitting down on the bed with you.

You started kissing his neck and, when you nibbled at the tender skin right under his ear, a little moan escaped his lips.

That little sound elicited an uncontrollable fire in your heart. You wanted to hear more of those sounds, immediately.

He started fumbling with his phone and, a few seconds later, music started filtering into the room from a bluetooth speaker on a bookshelf full of trinkets of any kind.

There was a collection of ancient ships in bottles, a wooden model pirate ship, many little succulents and what looked like antique rings and pendants amongst tons of well-loved books.

His lips on your collarbone brought you back to the task at hand.

He stood and prompted you to do the same. He removed his jacket and you started fumbling with the zipper of yours.

When you finally removed it, he kissed you again and moaned into your mouth when your hand sank in his hair, tugging lightly.

Your lips slowly started their descent from his mouth to his neck and lower.

His almost totally unbuttoned shirt allowed you to reach his collarbone and chest easily. His skin was incredibly soft and hot to the touch. He smelled divine, too.

You made quick work of the two last buttons of his shirt and it fell on the floor, joining his jacket and yours.

When your lips skimmed over his left nipple, another little strangled whimpery sound left his throat and you knew exactly what to do.

You dropped to your knees in front of him and his eyes almost rolled back into his skull at the sight.

You reached for the button of his trousers and he whimpered your name when you successfully freed him.

He was left just in his boxers in front of you, but the item did a poor job at concealing how much the situation was affecting him.

The golden glow of the lava lamp looked delicious on his skin. And you wanted to see all of him.

“You don't have to” he whispered, caressing your cheek, gently.

“But I want to” you answered him in a whisper, right before reaching for the elastic band of his boxers while keeping your eyes on his.

“Please, angel” he begged you when your fingers dipped inside and tugged at the fabric just a little, letting it snap right back with a sharp sound.

You finally peeled the black cotton off his toned thighs and you gasped when his member sprang free and slapped against his soft tummy.

Your mouth watered in an instant.

He looked deliciously needy, so the more you admired him the more impatient he got.

He caressed your lower lip with his thumb and he bit his own hard when you grasped his wrist and opened your mouth to let his digit rest on your tongue, just to torture him a little more.

You stroked his member a few times while sucking at his thumb.

When, finally, your tongue licked at his tip, a loud growl left his lips and both his hands sank into your hair.

You let his tip rest on your tongue for a moment and then you wrapped your lips around it, sucking gently and reveling in the sight of his abdomen contracting and his eyes squeezing shut.

His eyes met yours again immediately when your hands covered his, on both sides of your head and you motioned for him to move his hips forward and then backwards.

He cursed at the first thrust, and moaned when you encouraged him to just go on and fuck your mouth.

He did it gently, ensuring that you were ok and checking up on you every few thrusts.

Your hands didn't stop exploring his body. You started caressing his strong thighs feeling powerful at the sight of goosebumps covering his skin because of your touch. He sighed when your thumbs pressed into the delicate skin of his inner thighs and moaned your name out loud when your hands ended up on his ass, kneading his soft supple skin and prompting him to go a little harder if he wanted.

The song sounding through the speaker made you want him even more and the more you felt and watched him thrusting and groaning, the more your mouth watered for him, enhancing his sensations.

He had a tight grip on your hair and he kept arching his back at the feeling of your mouth around his cock.

Suddenly, he pulled out of your mouth and yanked you up to stand before him.

Get up off your knees girl

Stand face to face with your God

His eyes bore holes into yours as he admired your disheveled state. Your lips and chin were shining with your saliva and his precum and your hair was a mess because of the tight grip of his hands.

Before you knew it, his mouth was on yours, licking, sucking and biting at your lips with intense hunger, tasting himself in the process.

He grasped the hem of your dress and removed it from your body at lightning speed, leaving you just in your bra, panties and dark sheer tights.

It was your turn to gasp this time when his kisses followed a slow path from your neck to your tummy as he sank down on his knees before you. You were about to beg him, but a strangled whimper left your lips instead, when he pinched the waist of your thighs between his teeth and tugged downwards.

He quickly removed them with your help and you shivered before his hungry eyes.

His fingers skimmed over the elastic band of your simple cotton panties and your skin covered in goosebumps.

“Y-you don't have to” you whispered, diverting your eyes from his burning gaze and feeling shy and self-conscious all of a sudden.

“You are right. I don't have to. I need to.” He whispered, squeezing your hips and leaning forward to gently press his nose against your mound.

“Please, take them off for me, love” he whispered and you let your panties fall on the floor at his request.

His hands slowly caressed down your legs and prompted you to spread them a little wider.

“Good girl” he praised you with that deliciously raspy voice of his that got you melting.

When his warm breath made contact with your skin, your knees almost buckled, but it was when his tongue licked a broad stripe over you that you really feared that your legs wouldn't hold you upright.

You sank your nails into his shoulders when he started making out with your cunt and you realized that you were much closer than you thought.

It was almost embarrassing.

Your hands tangled in his hair and he groaned when you tugged at it without realizing.

The vibrations of his groan had you almost screaming his name out loud as your hips pressed against his mouth.

Two of his fingers started caressing your labia, collecting your increasing wetness, while his tongue spoiled your clit expertly.

He slowly slid a finger inside you and your mouth fell open, but no word came out. You felt your walls fluttering and contracting around it and were ready to beg him to add another and move them when he spoke.

“You are so tight, love. I can't wait to feel you around my cock.” he said and you moaned, sounding a little desperate.

“But first, I need you to make a mess all over my face. C'mon baby, cum for me” he begged you and curled his fingers sharply over and over again, making your knees feel like jelly.

The moment he sucked your clit into his mouth was when you knew he was going to get what he wanted.

You let go then, moaning his name and clinging onto his hair and shoulders for dear life.

His fingers kept moving at a soft rhythm and his mouth didn't cease its onslaught on your clit until you forcefully dragged him away from you to stand up in front of you.

He looked disheveled too, now, and absolutely drunk on your pussy. His eyes told you that he would have gone on and on at eating you out till morning if you hadn't stopped him.

Get up off your knees boy

Stand face to face with your God.

You didn't even leave him the time to catch his breath before you crashed your mouth to his hungrily, tasting yourself onto his luscious lips.

He wrapped his arms around your body and unclasped your bra, before pushing you on the bed and climbing on top of you without breaking the kiss.

The sheets felt incredibly soft and cool under your flushed skin.

He crawled on top of you and stole your breath away with another kiss, before opening the drawer of his nightstand and retrieving a condom.

You helped him put it on and then you grasped his shoulders and arched your back when you felt him sliding his tip along your slit.

You spread your legs even further and whispered his name on his lips.

His hands on either side of your head cradled your face before his hips started pressing against yours, allowing him to enter you slowly.

I'm ready for love, I'm ready for war

But I'm ready for more.

Your mouth fell open in a silent moan and you felt yourself clenching around him harshly.

He whimpered at the feeling and his face contorted in a pained expression.

His hips stopped and his voice echoed faintly into the room, needy and strained.

“Love, relax for me, please. Fuck, you are so tight. If you keep squeezing me like this, I'm going to cum” he begged you and you tried your best to relax, feeling his thumbs caressing your cheeks gently.

“Yeah, baby, just like this. Good girl” he praised you smiling.

His body was already covered in a thin layer of sweat and when, finally, he was pressed inside of you to the hilt, goosebumps covered his skin.

You couldn't make a sound. The feeling of being finally full slowly registering into your brain had you completely forgetting how to breathe properly.

“Breathe, baby” He had to remind you, leaning his forehead against yours and kissing your lips.

The first thrust had your legs wrapping around his hips and a strangled moan of his name leaving your lips.

Soon, he set a steady rhythm, pressing you into the matress with his strong hips and, with every thrust, you started feeling lighter and lighter. You had completely forgotten about your shitty day and, by the blissful look in his eyes, you were almost sure he had too.

The song had faded away long ago and now your bodies were dancing only on the symphony of the sounds of the shared pleasure you were experiencing.

You were both panting heavily and sweat caused your bodies to stick together. Drops of it were slowly trickling down his neck and suddenly you found yourself licking them away from his skin.

The sounds leaving his lips increased in volume and pitch the more he approached his high and were heavenly. You mentally thanked every entity in the universe for letting you find a man that wasn't afraid of being vocal in bed.

Hs hair kept tickling your face as it swayed back and forth with the rhythm of his trusting and was completely disheveled.

His skin glowed in the low flickering light of the lava lamp and you reveled in the sight of his face, scrunched up in utmost pleasure. You trailed a finger over the wrinkled bridge of his nose and he moaned your name.

As you started sucking and biting at the tender skin of his neck again, he did something that left you without words.

He grasped your wrists and pressed them together above your head on the bed so quickly that you almost didn't see it happen.

“Are you ok with this?” He whispered into your ear and cursed when you quickly nodded your head.

Then he maneuvered the little hair tie you were wearing on your wrist around his fingers so that it bound your wrists together, trapping you.

You gasped at the unexpected gesture.

His pupils were blown wide as he quickened his pace even more, squeezing your wrists in his hand, basking in the feeling pulsing through his cock and slowly losing his mind.

You both couldn't take your eyes away from the other, admiring as pleasure took hold of your bodies and minds every second more.

Finally, the orgasm hit you like a strong wave and brought him with you a few seconds after.

The room filled with moans and whimpers while the glow of a car passing by in the street illuminated his face as it scrunched up in pleasure. It was the most breathtaking sight you had ever experienced.

His eyes were screwed shut and his teeth bared before his mouth went slack with a loud moan, while you kept moaning his name, digging your heels into his lower back.

Then the room turned silent and the only sound filling the space was the heavy panting coming from your chests.

He let go of your wrists then, and gently kissed your reddened skin there, before slumping down on top of you and hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

He slid out of you but didn't move away.

When you finally recovered, your eyes fixated onto the ceiling, mesmerized by the fluctuating glow of the lava lamp, while you caressed his hair.

After a while, he placed a kiss on your lips and then stood with a groan and went towards what you assumed was his bathroom.

You got up too and started looking around for your clothes.

When he came back and noticed what you were doing, he looked a little taken aback. He came closer to you and grasped your hands in his, looking you straight in the eyes before speaking.

"You can stay if you want. I'd love it if you stayed, honestly” he whispered onto your lips and a smile spread on your face at his invitation.

After a quick shared shower, you fell asleep almost immediately, but all of a sudden you woke up to a dark room.

It took you a while to understand where you were exactly but when you did, a little smile spread on your face.

You turned around ready to wrap yourself into Jake's arms only to discover that his side of the bed was empty and cold.

A fait glow was coming from outside the room and, after a while, you decided to see what it was.

You stood, fixed the t-shirt he gave you around your body and silently padded out of the bedroom.

There he was, sitting at his desk, slightly hunched and scribbling away on a piece of paper with an acoustic guitar in his lap illuminated by the low light of the lava lamp that he had moved from the bedroom.

You were about to approach him silently but he must have felt your presence because he turned around and smiled, motioning you to join him.

He placed the guitar on the floor and patted his lap.

The moment your skin made contact with his again you felt your heart flutter.

“What are you doing?” You whispered.

“Writing. You got me inspired. And I think I finally fixed that song” He said, caressing your hip.

“Well, I'm happy to have been of help” you said, chuckling and leaning your head against his.

“You deserve a reward for it” he said, grasping your hips and placing you in front of him on the table with a glint in his eyes that told you that he wasn't even remotely done with you yet.

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A/N: To those of you who need a visual reference of that moment...here it is 😉

Thank you for reading!

Taglist:

@gvfpal @sammyslappers @spark-my-nature @highladyofasgard @sparrowofthedawnsworld

More in the comments.

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

In my spare time, when I'm not watching dramas I'm either reading books or watching people talking about books on YouTube. One tradition I've always really enjoyed is their "Mid-Year Freak Out" tag, especially because I like the idea of getting a chance to reflect on the year so far as well as look to the year ahead.

This year I thought I'd combine my two passions and use (and in some cases alter) the prompts for my own use, i.e. so that I can talk about dramas rather than books.

The only rule: answer the questions (and go wild I guess).

And we start the list with the biggest risk! No The Trainee is nowhere near finished and, no I have no idea how it's going to finish (it's GMMTV it could drop the ball through the floor and into the earth's core for all I know) but, if it manages to keep going the way it's going, I'm going to absolutely love it. I've mentioned before that The Trainee reminds me a lot of Misaeng, what I haven't said is that Misaeng is my (tied) favourite drama of all time and if The Trainee can get anywhere close to making me feel like I did the first time I watched Misaeng (which it is so far) then it's on to a winning formula.

So far it's got everything I look for in a drama: a solid cast with excellent chemistry, a plot that focuses on the little battles of everyday life, and an excellent mix of fast friendship and slow burn romance with plenty of character development along the way. It also doesn't hurt that it's got the balance between slapstick-funny and emotional tension pretty much bang on either.

I can't get this drama or it's characters out of my head and I am deeply, deeply, invested in where things are going next so, as a nod to the hold it has on me and my hope that I've found a new all-time fave, The Trainee is my favourite drama so far so GMMTV DO NOT LET ME DOWN.

Thai BL opening themes can be very hit or miss for me (I won't lie, I have skipped many an opening sequence because I can't stand the song) but Wandee Goodday's "Fan With Benefit" caught my ear the first time I heard it and refused to leave me alone after that. I think I listened to it on repeat for at least 2 weeks and then at least once a day after that.

It's fun, it's flirty, it's got a chorus I like to dance to and it has now found itself on my "Songs to Cook Dinner To" playlist (I don't know if that says more about the song or how I cook dinner).

Now if only the drama lived up to its theme song...

Last Twilight would have been on this list had I not dropped it in December and, as a result, rendered it ineligible for a 2024 drama. I'm still absolutely fuming about how badly it let its audience down and how terribly it handled an extremely nuisanced topic to the point its final messaging was almost harmful.

I'm not going to get into this in too much detail because my frustrations have been voiced much more eloquently by people @lurkingshan and @twig-tea. I will say, however, that I loved the first 6(?) episodes of Wandee Goodday and I'm really sad about how much I didn't enjoy the rest of the drama.

There were a lot of things to like (and a lot of potential) right from the start: two couples with great chemistry, an ace character with actual depth and dimension, really sweet relationships (both familial and friendships), and the foundations for some interesting explorations of various interpersonal dynamics. Unfortunately none of these things really got followed through on and instead Wandee decided to go dark (with topics like mental health, sexual assault, loss and grief, parental neglect and abandonment to name a few) and do it badly. I don't mind if a show wants to explore difficult topics, in fact I really appreciate it, but what I won't tolerate is a drama introducing those topics as central plot points and then skimming over them in the most superficial way possible.

If you can't be bothered to put in the effort to properly research/explore difficult topics, do not include them in your drama.

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SHOW SINCE IT FIRST GOT ANNOUNCED. Which unfortunate because I was so excited for it I got stressed about it living up to my expectations (or not) and then couldn't watch it when it came out. It's annoying, it happens, I know how to fix it.

Anyway, I've given it some space, I've dealt with the other things that were making me stressed and I am now ready to devour it give it a go.

I have long been a fan of Ahn Pan Seok's works and I really appreciate his directorial style, the themes he chooses to tackle, and the way in which he explores his topics of choice. I will fully acknowledge his work is not for everyone; he favours slow (extremely slow) stories with characters and plots who are realistic to a frustrating (and sometimes infuriating) degree. You also need to have a pretty in depth understanding of Korean society and its problems, taboos and concerns to fully understand the underlying messages of his dramas and the structures/beliefs/views he's critiquing. That being said, for me that is the perfect recipe for a drama that's going to claw itself into my brain and stay there.

Secret Love Affair, One Spring Night, and Something in the Rain all had a lasting impact on me and, thanks to @lurkingshan's posts, I'm pretty sure Midnight Romance in Hagwon will join them.

It may come as a surprise after the last entry but I actually try quite hard to not get hyped about upcoming releases, mainly to avoid creating any expectations which can then be disappointed. I like to go in with as open a mind as possible.

As a result, there are a few upcoming releases I'm keeping an eye on but none I'd say I'm properly "anticipating" (á la Midnight Romance in Hagwon). The closest I can get is Monster Next Door which I am genuinely excited for and which I plan to watch from day 1.

I'm not completely sure why I'm looking forward to it so much, I think it's because I do love a good opposites attract, foes-to-hoes dynamic and Monster Next Door seems like it's going to offer that to me in spades alongside a serving of comedy and a sprinkling of heat. Bring the introvert-extrovert pairing and let me watch them be stupidly whipped for each other, it's all I need for now.

Technically all of the dramas on my Want to Watch list because I want to clear it but I'm aware that that's a bit of a reach.... If anyone can spot any dramas on here that you think I should prioritize (or dramas you think I should scrap), recommendations would be appreciated.

I also want to watch more Japanese BLs. The few I've got through, I've enjoyed and, for a lot of them, I've already read and loved the source manga so I know I'll enjoy the plot. Unfortunately I really struggle with the short episodes (30 minutes is not long enough for me to get invested) and that I have to commit to binging them and can't watch them while they're airing, which is a whole other issue. I'm thinking of focussing on Japanese GL for now as a hook (I'm not enjoying the current Thai GL line up and I'm running out of Korean GL I can find online) so I guess the dramas I "need" to watch are She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat and Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko.

* Biggest surprise

* Newest favourite actor/director/writer/producer

* Most beautiful drama

* Newest fictional crush

* Newest favourite character

* A drama that made you cry

* A drama that made you happy

And there you have it! Lightly tagging @lurkingshan @twig-tea and @italianpersonwithashippersheart but no pressure! Anyone else who wants to do this, feel free! Just tag me so I can gather more recs to make my To Watch list even longer.

[yelenasdiary]

Heyyy♥️ I wanted to request Melina x fem!reader with prompt 48 from your prompt list?

48. kids falling asleep in the car on the way home and their parents don’t want to wake them up

Maybe they have like a family fun day and all the fluff. I know that this is probably not Melina coded but I want to be married to Rachel/Melina so this is all I have 🥲

Another Block?

Pairing: Melina Vostokoff x Fem! Reader

Summary: After a family day out, the girls, Yelena and Natasha are fast asleep in the back and just for a moment, everything seems perfectly normal.

Tiny Angst | Fluff | No Warnings | 0.9K |

AC: My first Melina request!!! I took a little spin on this; I hope that’s okay! Reader is Yelena and Natasha’s “parents”. No hate to Alexei, I love him lmao. I hope you enjoy this x 

A family outing with your little family wasn't at all a part of the mission you and Melina were directed to do but it did fall under the category of making the "pretend family" as Dreykov could call it, look real. You and Melina decided to take the girls to the Cedar Point Amusement Park for the day. Of course, at first, Natasha, the eldest wasn't too interested in the idea but Yelena couldn't hide her excitement. She requested her song, American Pie about five times before Melina had to convince her to listen to the radio for a little while. 

Once arriving at the theme park, you instantly saw the hidden excitement in Natasha's eyes as she looked up at one of the rollercoasters. A soft smile tugged at your lips before you felt Yelena excitedly pull at your jacket, "Come on Ma!" she smiled widely, showing you exactly how many of her adult teeth were beginning to come through. 

"Natasha are you ready?" you asked, looking at the young teen while Melina grabbed the backpacks out of the car. 

"Yeah, let's go" Natasha slightly rolled her eyes to prove to you and Melina that just going on a family outing wasn't going to change what she already knew. 

Given Yelena was only 6 years old, everything was new and exciting to her. Her jaw dropped at each new ride her eyes locked onto, at least for her this was a real and her little mind never gave it a second thought unlike Natasha who struggled to allow herself to enjoy days like these. 

"Yelena, no running off please!" Melina reminded the young girl who ran ahead, stopping at Melina's words. "But mom! I don't want to miss the good rides!" She turned on her heels, causing both you and Melina to chuckle. "You don't love, the park doesn't close until night" you smiled softly. Melina took a hold of Yelena's small hand and walked ahead, giving you a chance to talk to Natasha. 

"You know, today isn't about making this look real" you spoke as you walked alongside the teen with blue hair. "You say that but everything we do is too make us look like we're a real family and one day, I'll have to go back. What happens to Yelena when the time comes?" Natasha snapped as she looked up at you. 

Mission or not, it broke your heart to hear those words come from her mouth. Three years doesn't seem like a long time but within the time of being together as a four, your heart grew to love the girls as if they were your own, you see them as your own and nothing would ever change that, you just wish Natasha would see that.

"Things will be different, I promise" you replied, lying to her and you hated yourself for it. 

"How?" Natasha asked with the tiniest hint of hope in her voice. 

"Because, neither Melina or I will let anything happen you girls and I know you're having a hard time trying to see that, but I love you, Natasha. You're my daughter and no mission will change that" 

"But you can't promise that when I go back, that things will be okay" 

"I can and I am. Melina is a lot closer to Dreykov than I am, if you think she'll let him hurt you or Yelena in anyway, you don't know Melina well enough" you replied, seeing your words put the teen at ease. She smiled, "I love you too" Her words came to you in an almost whisper, but they warmed your heart. 

----

After hours of going on ride after ride, snack after snack and of course some shopping, it was time to head home. Yelena was coming off a sugar high and both you and Melina could tell how tired the girls were. After your talk with Nat, she let her guard down a little and allowed herself to enjoy the day as a normal 11-year-old. 

"Thank you for taking us" Nat smiled at both you and Melina as you all gathered at the car. 

"You're very welcome girls" Melina smiled, helping Yelena into her seat. You smiled back at Natasha, for the first time in a while she looked genuinely happy. 

The car ride home was rather quiet, everybody was too tired and achy to want much of a conversation but of course, Yelena asked if Mac n Cheese was on the menu for tonight's dinner. "I'm sure we can cook some up when we're home" you replied, looking at the 6-year-old through the review mirror. 

The radio played softly as Melina drove you all home, your hand resting gently in her free hand, her thumb stroking your knuckles with love as you watched passing vehicles through the window. "They both had a lot of fun today" Melina whispered when she saw both girls in the backseat asleep. "Natasha seemed to really enjoy herself as well" she added. 

"I'm really proud of her today and letting herself enjoy the day" you replied, looking over at Melina as she pulled up in the drive away. "Do we have to move them?" you asked in a whisper, looking over your shoulder. 

"Let's just do another block and see if they wake up, if not, we'll park in the garage and wake them when dinner is ready" Melina suggested, placing a soft kiss on your cheek. Moments like these made you both forget the meaning of everything, the red room, the mission, the widow program and most importantly, Dreykov. It was just you, your wife and the two young and beautiful girls you shared with her and as Melina took her time, driving another block with her free hand intertwined with yours, you forever wished things would never change.

[abarbaricyalp]

hi!! for the intimacy prompts: "back scratches" ☺️

🦟

"Man, you've got to stop sleeping outside," Sam commiserated, as if Bucky had not already come o this conclusion as well. He gently scratched his nails over Bucky's back again, catching along the plethora of bug bites that littered his skin.

They were still outside, so Sam had no foot to stand on here. He had brought out a huge beach towel for them to sit on, though, so that kept some of the ants away. The sun was beginning to slip away for real, almost to the point of turning the sky pink, but not quite there. Bucky had elected to lay on the towel, but Sam sat next to him, knees bent up, leaned back on his other forearm.

"The sun feels too good not to. Do y'all have one of those bug net tents? I can sleep under one of those."

"Y'all?" Sam laughed. "You from down here all of a sudden?"

It was a good thing the sun and the bug bites and the delight of Sam's hands on him had already assured a flush across his skin because Bucky could feel a fresh blush shooting down his face, neck and chest at the accusation. "You guys say it all the time. Was I not supposed to pick it up? Wait, go back to the left and go down."

Sam adjusted his scratching. He idly drew a circle around the bug bite in question with his nail. It was an angry mosquito bite and he did not envy Bucky it. "Mama would say you must have sweet blood," he said and gently scratched.

"It's all the sweet tea you've turned me on to."

"Always my fault," Sam agreed. "Not your inability to deny an offered glass."

Bucky made an embarrassing noise as Sam hit two bug bites at the same time. He squirmed a little and scratched yet another that was at his hip, just in reach of the towel. "D'ya think aloe gel helps with this?" he asked.

Sam shrugged, even though Bucky couldn't see him. "I think it's cute you're picking up some of the local vernacular."

"Vernacular," Bucky snorted. "Up a little, please."

Sam paused to search out the offending bite. "I think you're making this one up. Got some placebo itches." But he dutifully scratched at the bare patch of skin.

Bucky burrowed his face against his arms again, folded up under his head. Earlier, he'd been trying to reach all the bites on his own, bending his arms behind himself to reach, and the image made Sam's shoulders hurt in sympathy. So Sam had told him to stop and he'd taken over.

"It's not a placebo. You just can't see it. Even the grass is making me itch now."

"Placebo allergies too, huh?" Sam teased.

Bucky sighed and didn't argue, which was kind of disappointing. Teasing Bucky, talking to him at all, was usually Sam's favorite part of a quiet day. But the crickets and the tree frogs were beginning to sing for the night, so Sam let Bucky be quiet as they listened to the song. Sam kept scratching Bucky's back lightly as his mind wandered.

"I wanna do this forever," he eventually said as the sky really began to change color.

"I'd let you," Bucky agreed. "To the right, please."

"No, I mean all of this. I don't-- I don't want anyone else to scratch your back. And I don't wanna scratch anyone else's."

Bucky snorted loudly and dropped his head to the towel for a few seconds. He turned over slowly enough that Sam had time to keep his hand free and then laid it over Bucky's ribs.

"Are you trying to propose to me, Wilson?" he asked with a raised, skeptical eyebrow.

Sam rolled his eyes in return. "No. If I wanted to propose to you, you'd know it. I'm just saying, I want it to be us. Just us."

Bucky put his hand over Sam's and moved it up to his chest, over his heartbeat. "It's just us," he promised. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good," Sam decided. Then added, "Then you can learn to use bugspray."

Bucky's nose wrinkled and he closed his eyes again. "It smells bad. Can you scratch right where you hand is?"

Sam looked at Bucky's chest and sighed fondly. "Gotta be the sweetest blood on this side of the river," he repeated. But he resumed scratching duties. Until the mosquitoes realized they were still around and they were chased back into the safety of the house.

[seiberries]

HII I HAVE A REQUEST PLEASE 🫶🫶 protective bachira who baby’s you? 😍😍 i’m a sucker for him hope you’re well and don’t feel like you need to do this! take care 🩷🩷

ahh I’ll do my best on this!! he seems like the type, very clingy! take care too <3

lovesickness : bachira meguru

bachira meguru x gn!reader / listen to: glue song - beabadoobee

warnings: none! + note though, bachira and reader are aged up here but it’s because they’re at the point of being live-ins

you were supposed to leave a good ten minutes ago, the clock in your bedroom ticked every second that passed. but you couldn’t. a certain bachira meguru prevented you from doing so. 

“megs, i need to go.” you whine, trying to pull yourself out of his grasp; he would not budge. he whined back at you in protest, still trying to pull you back into bed with him.

your childhood friend had contacted you about a week ago, asking to meet up since they were in town. you agreed, not knowing that the consequences of your actions would result to a very clingy boyfriend. to make things worse, he was being so cute right now- it was getting impossibly difficult to say no to him.

meguru rarely got freetime like this either, it was soccer season. he had been training day and night, barely catching you before you went to bed. you could understand why he was being like this, but you had to go. what would you say to your friend if you couldn’t make it? 

“hey, my boyfriend is being clingy and won’t let me go out. i’ll contact you when i’m free of his arms, thank you!” you couldn’t say that, could you? obviously not.

“what if you said you were sick?” 

your boyfriend felt an upward tug on his lips at his idea. it was brilliant, to him, at least. it was an “aha” moment. similar to the ones his friend isagi had, but, more tame in nature. he didn’t have fierce ego surrounding him, but an aura of affection and neediness instead.

you thought about it, pausing from your struggle. lying was bad… but, it might be even worse to leave meguru here in this state; you definitely were not just making up excuses for what you were about to decide on. his lips pouted as he waited for your decision, with hopeful eyes staring at you- your boyfriend looked like a dejected puppy. even his hair matched the animal. 

to make sure your choice favored him, he let go of your torso and held your hand in both of his. screw his pride, he wanted you here. who knows what would happen if you were without him? if he was without you? what if he died of loneliness, what if you got hurt somehow? what if you left and never came back? sure, the thoughts are childish, but they were very real possibilities to him in his desperation.

“please?” he was using all his powers now, meguru was close to begging as he tilted his head to the side. you let out a sigh and pulled your phone from out of your jacket’s pocket, shooting out a text before situating it infront of the boy’s face.

“happy?” you rolled your eyes in the defeat of being won over by him.

“hi, i’m so so sorry to cancel last minute, but i seem to have caught a fever. i tried waiting it out but it just won’t go away. so sorry.”  meguru read out before jumping you and coddling you in his arms like he did this morning, before the whole fiasco. a satisfied smile appeared on his face as he held you close to him, both of your legs tangled with each other’s. 

“since you’re sick…” elongating the last word as a form of sarcasm, he let out a light giggle.

“let me get you something to eat, yeah?” he spoke as he left you briefly, exiting the room. you laughed at his action, not expecting him to come back five minutes later with a spoon and a bowl of soup from last night’s leftovers.

“ahhh!” meguru seated down next to you on your shared bed, prompting you to lie down as he sat- like you would a sick person. he then proceeded to this- feeding you, like you would a sick person. he looked immersed into the role he was playing too, acting as if you had actually caught a fever.

“meguru, who are you trying to convince?” positioning your hands to block the spoon, a small frown coming to his face as your laughter filled the room. you still leaned in to slurp the broth, much to the satisfaction of your boyfriend. sharing a loving gaze, you grinned and ruffled his already messy bedhead.

but he pondered on your question for a bit, though you meant it lightly. his chest grew fuzzy at his newfound conclusion,

it was you.

he wanted to convince you.

he thought he had moved on from this type of feeling since blue lock, but you coming into his life changed things. not to confuse things though, he’s secure enough now; and how he feels towards you is so much more compared to what younger him felt then.

looking at you, being with you- it was an entirely different joy than he felt with soccer. you brought to him a sense of desire that the striker hadn’t felt before. it wasn’t the desire to win, it wasn’t the desire to beat his competition-

it was the desire to love you.

he wanted to love you all his life, take care of you when you both eventually grew old. just like this, he wanted you to stay beside him. maybe he was lovesick.

you would have to take care of him too, in that case. it seems lovesickness is contagious.

[blinddreams24]

Discover

A Mermay Prompt

(Note: far too much dialogue. Far too little action)

Masterlist

Prev / Next

“Cross?”

Said siren looked up from sharpening one of his attacks with a rock. “Hm? Yes, y/n?”

“I… Can we talk for a minute?”

Concern flashed across his face. “Sure.” He set down the rock, dismissed the attack, and gave you his full attention. “You want to go somewhere more private?”

You nodded. It was… important. To you at least. You wanted answers to questions that weren’t solving themselves.

Cross nodded back and led you to a secluded spot just outside of the trench. The terrain was flat and blank so no one could hide and eavesdrop on the conversation. “What do you want to talk about?” He asked.

You hesitated but went for it. “Dream said he met you when you first entered the ocean and that you had just escaped captivity. And I already knew that you’ve at least been a siren for longer than that. So… What happened?”

Cross straightened and looked away. “Oh. He told you that. Uh.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Shit. Okay. Y’know, Dream is… how do I say this? …He’s not bad. He just wants to help. He helped you the other day. So when he first found me, starving and trying to figure out how currents worked, he helped me. Ink helped too but was about as much help as Killer when he needs to stay still.” Cross chuckled. “He did his best though.”

“Okay. But could you explain why you were in captivity? Last I checked, there was a ban against sirens in captivity unless absolutely necessary and that ‘absolutely necessary’ part was firm about it being a physical disability.” You put your hands on your hips.

Cross shrank at your tone. “I was there all my life. And before you ask, I wasn’t converted. I was and have always been a siren. I was just raised in a lab. The Doctor… he was not nice to me or my pod. He was trying to discover a way to control sirens like how we can control our prey with song. And I think he almost figured it out before……” His eyes flashed and he turned away. “He had to move the aquarium. I don’t remember why. I just remember them sedating us and shipping us across the sea.

“There was a storm, the ship was destroyed, and I made some poor decisions.” Cross looked at his hands as if he expected to find blood and dust on them. Maybe he did. “In my poor choices, I had accidentally forced myself into isolation. Everyone I knew was dead and I couldn’t go back. Not this time. Dream and Ink found me trying to catch fish a week later. They quickly invited me into their pod, Blue welcomed me just as happily, and started teaching me to survive in the oceans.

“And then we had to move, because Dream was tailing somebody. His brother. I decided it was my job to protect Dream and fought to get between him and Nightmare. Nightmare was… careful when he fought me, which I learned later. He could have launched me into the sky if he wanted to, but he didn’t.

“It was a few months later that Nightmare convinced me to join him. Dream was devastated when I left. He kept asking me what he did wrong. He didn’t. He didn’t do anything wrong. Nightmare was just… more prepared for me. Dream, at the time, wasn’t used to dealing with… mortals. Blue was a mortal, sure, but he took care of himself and was busy most of the time visiting his brother. So, since I didn’t know that I needed help, I didn’t learn very important skills. Like song, defense, hunting, and listening for an ambush. I was completely vulnerable.

“Killer caught on to that fact quickly when we first met. He would mess with me. I knew he didn’t like me, I was by Dream’s side just like he was by Nightmare’s, but he didn’t kill me when he could have. Not because he didn’t want to but because Nightmare would stop him every time.

“I didn’t understand. This leviathan, that attacked Dream with enough furiosity to destroy the mountains of the deep, didn’t want his lackey to hurt me, his enemy.

“I also sucked at tactics. I could fight and, in a normal combat situation, I had the upper hand on Killer but Killer was faster. Crueler. He would slip past my attacks and strike me where I was unprotected. He especially loved maiming my dorsal fin. When Dream and I would catch up to Nightmare, Killer would ambush and single me out quickly. Every fight ended either with Nightmare stopping Killer from ending me or Dream dragging me away in retreat.”

Cross sighed in a way that felt like remorse. “It took me far too long to learn how to spot an ambush. And by then, I was exhausted. Dream and Ink don’t need to sleep as much as we do and I didn’t sleep well anyways. They were always doing something, especially when Blue was visiting. Blue was very energetic. So if they weren’t tracking down Nightmare, they were helping other sirens or exercising or making something. Ink insisted that his coral monstrosities were art. They sucked. I don’t know what he was thinking.

“One day, when I could barely see straight, we attacked Nightmare. I tried to fight off Killer, I really did, but he was tearing me apart. And Killer wasn’t alone. Dust attacked me from behind. They restrained me in an embarrassingly short amount of time and Nightmare scooped me up and retreated with me in tow.

“…I woke up three days later, curled up in Nightmare’s tentacles, sleeping peacefully for the first time. He didn’t stop me when I swam away from him and back to Dream. He didn’t even seem to care. He just smiled and turned away as I fled.

“Dream was worried, Ink had already forgotten me, and I was confused. Nightmare hadn’t hurt me or stopped me he just… let me sleep. For days. I couldn’t understand.

“About a week later, we fought Nightmare again. I was tired again, because of how busy Ink and Dream were all week, and Killer approached me instead of ambushing me like before. He teased me about looking like I needed some sleep and jokingly invited me back to sleep with his pod.

“I considered it. And Killer saw me consider it. He laughed it off, we fought, and went home our separate ways. He didn’t tease me after that.

“Nightmare approached me the next fight. He offered, in front of Dream and everyone, to take me in and give me the rest I desperately needed. Dream tried to argue for me but I was so tired. I dismissed my attacks and just swam into Nightmare’s waiting hands.

“Dream was quiet as Nightmare and his pod retreated with me. I haven’t gone back since. Dream just wasn’t prepared for… me. He didn’t know how to take care of a new siren and definitely one like me. I was aggressive, scared, and untrusting. He was not used to dealing with negativity head on so he avoided it. It wasn’t until Nightmare took me in that he realized his mistake. He tried to get me to come back. But I was so tired. I couldn’t go back to that.” He looked so tired and guilty when he finished speaking.

You still had questions. “The… the Doctor. What did he do to you?”

The orca siren was tense, even as he smiled. “Nothing much. Kinda just let me and my pod exist most of the time. Tests were done, sure, but he never physically hurt us. Not our batch, at least.” He mumbled.

“Your batch? Were there others?”

Cross flinched. “Yeah, uh, don’t worry about it.” He wasn’t making eye contact. “It was a long time ago and the details are fuzzy so it doesn’t matter. What does matter, is what Dream and Ink told you.” He finally looked at you, completely serious.

“Uh, it was mostly confusing stuff. Dream said something about helping you out and practically raising you which is why I asked.” Your face twisted in disgust. “And then Ink called both of us useless sirens.”

Cross growled then immediately sighed, defeated. “Yeah, Ink says stuff like that. I can’t say he doesn’t mean it, he does mean it just in the most literal sense. He has no filter and means nothing by it. It’s just how he sees the world. He’ll still hang out with someone he calls useless but, as soon as you’ve heard it once, it’s hard to treat him the same way you used to. Dream and Nightmare understand that he doesn’t mean anything by it, since they can feel the few emotions he does have, but he’s never been able to make friends with anyone other than Blue.”

“Everyone keeps mentioning Blue. Who’s Blue?” You asked.

“Blue?” Cross smiled fondly. “He’s a dolphin siren, like you. Very excitable. He’s always moving, singing, and smiling. You’d like him. Everyone likes him. Stars! Even the destroyer likes him! And he kidnapped Blue!”

“Who what?!”

Cross shushed you. “It’s fine. Error gave him back. Blue had befriended the destroyer all on his own, something no one could even dream of doing. He’s the only siren anyone will allow close without much resistance. He really is magnificent.”

“…W- Was that a pun?” You asked, confused. “I don’t get it.”

“Ah, well,” Cross shrugged. “You’d have to meet him first. He’s awesome. But as I was saying, Ink is kind of an accidental jerk. So don’t take anything he says too seriously.”

“Okay.” You nodded slowly. “All that just opened up more questions than it answered…”

“Yeah…” Cross rubbed the back of his head. “But I don’t think you’ll really understand if I just tell you. It’d be better if you could meet everyone without aggression. Then you could get everyone’s perspective.”

“Why can’t I?” You raised a brow.

Cross hesitated with a guarded look. “Y/n. You can’t swim between two fighting sharks and not get bit. Talking to Dream or Ink right after they attacked you is a terrible idea too. They’ll just want you to leave with them and the guys will attack those Starfish sirens the second they see them. Everyone’s on edge. Don’t do anything stupid.”

You huffed and crossed your arms. “I wasn’t suggesting I go alone. I’m not that dumb.”

Drifting closer, Cross pulled you into a hug. “Just… be careful. We love you. If anything bad happened to you…… just be careful.”

“You already said that.” You pointed out.

“Do I need to say it again?” Cross teased.

You struggled to get out of the hug. “No. Cross don’t.”

“Just be careful.”

“Cross! Stop!” You laughed, trying and failing to stay mad at him.

“Be careful.” He nuzzled his nose into your hair.

“Cross!!”

[edge-oftheworld]

albums and activism part 3: blood on the drums by ashton irwin

I was debating whether to include this here and so early on, but blood on the drums seemed the best album to use to illustrate an important point: you can't do any activism if you're dead.

and this is a 5sos blog anyway sorry for nothing but white men to this point

I'm going to go through track by track and discuss how each song talks about mental health and why this is important. Figure we probably need less of an introduction to ashton, but the historical activism on his/the band's part is going to be woven into it. This is dark, even for one of my posts. There will be mentions of self harm, suicide, domestic violence, and addiction below the cut, so please stop reading if you need to; I'll post a reblog of this with the rest of the songs on this album once that section is over which you can skip to once it's up.

but if you can stomach it I’m also proud of this analysis please read it lol

Straight to your heart: this is an excellent introduction to the album to me, because it's an upbeat pop song about love, but if you listen carefully you get a glimpse into darker topics running through the whole song. The album is the same: it's fun and an excellent listen, but it also delves into some really important subject matter regarding all things mental health.

Straight to your heart's bridge, barely 2 minutes into the 'thorns' side of blood on the drums, is where we start to hear 'you kill my loneliness' followed by 'if I'm not with you I'm better off dead'. This prompts a new hearing of the chorus, and what is meant by 'you'll be my hero here in the dark, saving my mind from ticking'. What exactly does the protagonist need a hero to save him from? He's talking about death 2 minutes into the album. And we'll touch on this later but first, I want to draw a parallel between this and 5sos in general. A pop/rock band who write generally upbeat songs with excellent instrumentation and vocals and lyrics that are sadder the more you listen to them (it's no surprise that this is the genre of song Ashton has gotten good at writing). I think that we forget that it hasn't always been normal, but they've been pioneers at starting discussions about mental health in the mainstream music sphere for almost a decade now; especially Ashton and Michael in the early days. They've been honest and vulnerable, sharing their own experiences with things not everyone understands or has compassion about, with the world, for the sake of us fans.

I think it's time we talked about how we can make sure we're being compassionate towards them as well, as well as towards ourselves and each other.

Break up: I do this weirdly morbid thing with this groovy banger where yes, it's a song about cheating, an imaginary scenario for a lot of us and something we've been hurt by for a lot of us too. But it can also be listened to as a story illustrating an important (and terrible) intersection of men's and women's mental health (in a heteronormative society, though neither position is unique to men or unique to women, there is just unfortunately one type of scenario that dominates statistically, and that is men's violence against women (but also against trans, genderqueer and other marginalised groups)). 'In my imagination, the heaven I'm building, you two come together but you don't leave here with him' aside from jealousy, what's another reason you might really want someone you care about to break up (right now) with their significant other and be with you instead?

Here, the concept of a lover being a hero and a lifeline is reversed. The love interest is empowered with the autonomy to decide when to break up with their current lover, while the protagonist tells them what they want as well; but also empowers them with the corrective experience that being in love can be fun. They don't have to feel small and worthless. The protagonist finds hope in the fact that 'you say I'm not like him'. Maybe they're just horny but maybe it's that abuse takes many forms, but has a common impact on the self esteem of the party being abused. Here, the cheating can be read as a way to take that back, a way to feel empowered again to make the difficult decision to 'break up... be with [the protagonist] now' where they might otherwise feel trapped.

I definitely don't think this is the intent of the song--but I also love the idea that when deciding who to blame or even demonise, things aren't always what they seem.

Blood on the drums: the whole concept behind this, getting blood on your instrument (drums) because you’re giving it your all, is brutal and evokes a certain kind of dark imagery in of itself. It reminds me of the old ‘play me til your fingers bleed’ (you ruin me, the veronicas, referring to guitar), a self-destructive kind of passion, which calls back to the concept of ‘working your fingers down to the bone’ as an image of striving and often exploitation. Blood on the drums (song) tells of feeling trapped and waking up and realising the worst of it was a dream but living with the memory of your own subconscious torment still. It speaks of the insecurity of uncertainty when there’s a lot on the line because you’ve invested everything in this endeavour (will I stand or will I fall; will I ever learn to fly, will I make it out alive?) surrounded by the disbelief of others who insinuate that success is impossible.

But hard work does pay off, sometimes, and that can be said of creating art, of activism, of recovery. Sometimes the blood on the drums is necessary, the blood, sweat and tears you put into something are worth it in the long run, a sacrifice that’s more of a multiplying investment. And for those of us who have the ‘bad dream’ of a trauma background to recover from and brains we have to work to work with, survival doesn’t come naturally, I hope you do give it your all. I hope you do learn to understand the difference between the blood from a life-saving surgery and the blood from another injury that’s unnecessary suffering. I hope you learn to channel your urges towards the latter towards the former. Both in yourself and in society. Sometimes blood on the drums means triumph. This is also an album of triumph.

I did briefly want to touch on the concept of guardrailing and the dignity of risk as alluded to in the second verse. I’ll let you research these terms on your own, but I hope you know that you have the right to autonomy to decide what risks to take and you have the right to work yourself as hard as you choose to (but no one has the right to force you to. sometimes it’s satisfying and ends up being the road of least harm to push yourself. Learn to identify that. Learn to just not listen to the haters. And to have boundaries and where oppression can’t be escaped, find ways to take autonomy over yourself as much as possible in ways that are, in the long run, healing—even if they don’t look like it in the moment or to the outsider. If you’ve been anywhere in this fandom the last 5 years or so, you’ve heard about the value of trusting your own intuition). Let this tune convince you you can have the thrilling and worthwhile life you dream of.

anyway did I mention I really love this song? and album?

I see the angels: I think this is a song about religion and finding the holy in the mundane, including and especially yourself. it plays off Christian themes such as glory following suffering (ie I’ve learned to fly with both hands tied). do you see an angel in yourself after all you’ve been through?

‘I don’t see the light but I see the angels’ implies that the protagonist hasn’t found the light of enlightenment and salvation that Makes Everything All Better people like to stereotype. It’s not all fixed. Everything isn’t all better. There’s no ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ but there are angels all the way there. And the song nuts out a bunch of the trials along the way. Trials we go through surrounded by angels if we look for them. Angels that might just be within us; we might be the angels that we need for ourselves first and foremost, but also for each other. It’s a beautiful song of resilience through really dark times. It pairs perfectly with blood on the drums (song). It’s worth it do go through hard things. If you love it let it kill you.

(And it means it’s really sweet how ashton called luke ‘a real life angel’ for his birthday last year and then made a post just to tag calum as an angel in his life recently too, I get the impression it’s a really high compliment to him, and we’re really blessed to get to see this song of discovering there’s an angel in yourself and live it alongside him.) Some people don’t know how it feels. They don’t see the angels. But a few more of us do, thanks to this song.

tw suicide and self harm for the following paragraph

there was a tumblr trend from maybe 10 years ago of referring to people with self harm scars as angels. I think it came from a viral post that may or may not be around, popular enough to pop up on my pinterest feed at the time (I could probably find it in a few hours if I tried, I haven’t). the viral post from sometime in the 2010s in the peak of the ‘if you have one of these 3 mental illnesses that are the only mental illnesses that exist you’re too soft and gentle for the world and can never do any wrong’ was an explanation of the really sweet and tragic worldview of a child whose teenage relative had died of suicide (framed as going back to heaven). here’s my message to all the angels reading this. I believe heaven is real. but don’t return (yourself) to heaven before your time. there are angels all around you and we want to make your stay on earth including all the hard and painful things as liveable and enjoyable and satisfying as possible. this is what we do activism for. it’s also what we build friendships for. cherish the angels in your life past, present and future.

There’s a lot more than just 3 mental illnesses and the mental health movement of the 2010s has been criticised for only covering those that are already the least stigmatised and most common. Mental illness also doesn’t absolve you of personal responsibility and doesn’t mean you’re incapable of doing wrong. You’re still just as valuable. And when it comes to activism: some things we go through can mean we have to take more care of ourselves and that may mean being judged by others in the movement. But there’s also a chance that having had dysfunctional and destructive habits of your own, you may have better insight on how to enact change than someone for whom moral behaviour has come easy due to their privilege. Still, cherish yourself like you’re an angel. And balance it out with ‘if it doesn’t hurt it doesn’t thrill you’. Sometimes that can simply refer to trying to figure out how to behave morally.

Lose you: if you’ve heard any 5sos album you know that themes of emotional dependence on a partner and insecurity make regular appearances in their songs and have for at least a decade. Including in the upbeat pop songs such as this one, sometimes it’s not that deep but behind every ‘if I lose you I know that I might not make it back’ is a fear that feels very real at least at some point.

Contrary to the last two songs, we get lines like ‘done chasing’ and ‘why risk it’, ‘pressing on the brakes’ to prevent impulse decisions that turn out to be mistakes. Knowing your heart can break. Asking, ‘am I in my right mind’ rather than simply suffering and calling it normal. Self preservation is actually another part of the picture. Realising we rely on others is too, even among the hard work and prioritising looking out for ourselves. This is the song that highlights the fact that you can’t do activism or be there for anyone if you’re dead. The song that gets you thinking about how to go upstream and choose a bit of self preservation sometimes, long enough to realise that no, you’ve not been in your right mind for a long time now and you’ve been acting as if your heart can’t ever break. You know it can now. And you can sing a happy sounding pop song about it!

Rebel at heart: now we move onto the self acceptance middle section of the album. I feel like this one continues a lot of the themes of I see the angels: how you see yourself, and sustain yourself through times of suffering, recovering your identity almost. Except what's interesting to me is the different connotations of the concept of being an 'angel' vs a 'rebel' and how they're both referring to who you are inside, and in a lot of ways to the exact same thing in this context. Pop angels and punk rebels perhaps? This is a duality that 5sos as a band very much straddles. But who says that these things are actually so different? Angels are associated with sensitivity, but can often be associated with divine justice too. Rebels are shunned by the structure of society but carry with them a certain association with street cred, sympathy for the oppressed, and leadership in standing up against injustice. Surely that hints towards a sensitivity to injustice and to the idea of being stifled? It's a more masculine trope, sure, but Ashton has explored masculinity and sensitivity before in songs like Scar and it's interesting to see the two intersect possibly more than we realise, when we take off the goggles of false dichotomies that really only have to do with the relation to authority.

I've talked before about how I appreciate this band when it comes to accepting myself and this rare and stigmatised neurodivergence I have that centres around easily feeling trapped and needing a lot more freedom to feel like myself than most people. Rebel at heart really captures this for me, and the realities of an unaccommodating world: burnout, escapism, destroying myself trying to play pretend (because I'm not actually capable of sustaining it). And in the end, when you feel the boot upon your chest (any kind of oppression, suffering, even the kind created by our own brains) there's something you should never forget.

Don't you see who you are? Coming out of the dark? You're a rebel at heart. Gonna blow them away. When you're feeling the pain. You're a rebel at heart. It's motivational and it also captures the disability that is the pda profile. That's just one of many applications of this song. It can apply to the mental illnesses we've discussed already. Maybe the 'angel' trope doesn't really work. Maybe the 'rebel at heart' trope works better. Maybe it is empowering in that it gives you the framework on how to live a life that's authentically you and it might not fix everything but it's easier to survive it when you've taken off the weight of other people's expectations on top of everything else. You don't just have the options to go back to heaven or to suffer in a world not made for you, even though yes, the world isn't made for you. Because you're a rebel at heart.

Oh, and it makes it almost expected of you to do some kind of activism when you're a rebel doesn't it? Luckily we've also now got a bit of a blueprint to be able to survive it, sensitivity and all. I can't stress enough the importance of this song.

Last night of my life: we're thinking about death again, but not in a hopeless way. Tomorrow's not guaranteed. We've seen people live and die. So let's acknowledge the fact that these people have hurt me and not pretend to still like them. Am I satisfied with my life; if it were a project I got to rest after, if it was the only thing I did til then, would I be happy? Only if I confess to you all the rain left in my chest. I have a story to tell. It involves not pretending that there isn't rain for one. And when I think like this, for once I don't wanna skip to the end.

It seems self-explanatory, a bit existential, but when you take it in the context of the thorns, of a life filled with suffering, it's actually a beautiful and hopeful piece that says, satisfaction is possible for you. Don't waste your life pretending to be okay, not accepting yourself and how you feel, you've got your whole life, and it's gonna be good if you make it your own. It's the rationale behind all the storytelling. You could extend this to activism too: if the rain left in your chest is filled with compassion for those who need it, yourself included, it's gonna hurt you more to keep it in. And do we need to plan out how we do all this? Absolutely. But don't wait. Don't put it off. Be a rebel and give it your all and cherish yourself for the angel that you are now. If lose you is about not letting impulse decisions become regrets, lnoml is about not letting inaction and waiting to be yourself and live your life become regret either. I love how these songs are spliced together.

Indestructible: The final song of the thorns, with a riff that takes us back to the introduction of straight to your heart? How perfect. It's almost its opposite: a dark song with hope and empowerment, as opposed to a hopeful song with some morbid references. Your mind is in the gutter, there's no heaven above--let's not understate the picture that the verses create just because the chorus is victorious. It paints a picture and says, you can get through this. Heads are gonna roll: when it feels like you're surrounded by enemies you're going to beat them. You're indestructible. While we're talking about mental health and the things we struggle with this song injects validation and empowerment and an amazing beat to get those chemicals popping in our heads. You know you're a rebel at heart now. Don't you run, run, run, run run away, get out of the darkness and into the day. Master the mantra, before it's too late.

I love how universal this encouragement is. The more we hear the song, the more we can read into it. Relate it to our own experiences. I could go on. Onto the interpretations of the tip of the knife giving you life every night and just how much background and legitimacy it gives this song as a motivator and shield in battle. But it's dark and it's hopeful and that's not easy to create.

The Canyon: Now that you've been hyped up and you can take it, onto the main song about men's mental health. It’s really relevant, right now especially. We’ve got so far to go on this one and it breaks my heart. Because of the people we’ve seen suffer. Because of the people we’ve lost. Because of the people who maybe would’ve learned to be better people and not hurt others if they had the help they needed. If they had their (emotional) needs met which apparently is something people still don’t think men have. This song is fairly self explanatory. You can see the fire on the mountain (ambition or whatever, everything we/men are told to want or do want, are chasing etc), many men are victim to the canyon.

just like ashton, I grew up just downstream of the blue mountains. they’re a famous national park just out of Sydney and one of my favourite places to visit. Something the mountain range is famous for is its canyons. To explain it simply on a geographical level, imagine you make a cone (hehe see you in the cone lol) out of wavy paper. Think corrugated cardboard but worse. As you climb the mountain there are ridges where you can travel easily upwards. Between these ridges, the heavy mountain rains have carved out really deep trenches starting at the top of the mountain and descending really steeply. They’re not like the Grand Canyon. They’re dark with rock walls on either side of you that go upwards for days and block out all but a sliver of the sun. They’re cold and they’re filled with water and you don’t ever go in them if it’s raining, because you might actually drown. They often have waterfalls in them that are 30+ metres in height. It’s impossible to climb up inside the canyon, you need to be on the ridges for that (but they’re fun on the way down if you have a wetsuit and good ropes to abseil the waterfalls, but that’s not what this song is about). Many men try to climb the mountain to get to the fire. For whatever reason they end up in the canyon where it’s impossible to climb out unless you go downstream first. Whether because they have no one to teach them how to find a ridge, or they slip, it doesn’t matter. Many men are victims to the canyon. Too many. And I don’t see nobody taking action.

and I know. It’s not just men. Women suffer a lot of mental illness and sexism and the emotional labour we’re meant to do play a big role in that. Trans and genderqueer folk have alarming statistics because of a discriminatory world and being a marginalised experience, along with other factors like high correlation with neurodivergence. These are all conversations we need to have.

but the thing about mens mental health is that more often than not, it’s not a matter of being discriminated against and being vulnerable to exploitation. For some it is. For others it’s expectation that’s too big for reality and no one saying that your worth isn’t in your achievement. Your appearance. Not being allowed to talk about or even feel emotions in a way that’s gender affirming. Especially for Black men, there’s people being scared of you and having to grow up too fast, mask your true self because of it. I also want to tentatively suggest that (and often for good reason too, stay safe people) men having a breakdown are more likely to be seen as dangerous and potentially abusive than someone who’s overwhelmed, hurting, needs help but probably doesn’t know how to let anyone help them. And autistic meltdowns can be terrifying coming from a grown man, so can manic episodes, bpd episodes, psychosis. No one has the obligation to stick around where they could potentially get hurt, but at the same time, there are often no alternative resources given to be able to create a place of safety to be able to unpack the emotions and the neurobiology behind such an event. It’s just having to promise to control yourself even if you’re not sure if you can, until you inevitably snap and someone does get hurt, and then there’s punitive justice, on top of the guilt. Not all the time, but sometimes all of this could be prevented by normalising self awareness, especially if you have a condition that means you’re more likely to express violence or a need for control either towards others or yourself. We’re doing better at normalising getting help. We need to do better at destigmatising getting help and learning to repent and forgive yourself when someone already has been hurt, lest it becomes a vicious cycle of believing who you are is only someone who can hurt others or hurt yourself. You’re never too far gone. Getting better is always possible. Yes, even for men.

It’s just a different set of overlapping factors wherever you are on the gender spectrum and with a bunch of cultural factors thrown in. The canyon talks about men, still the overwhelming majority of suicides despite having a lower diagnosis rate for most mental health conditions (implying that men are far less likely to receive appropriate help). Ashton is a man so that is his experience. He wants to talk about that. The suicidal ideation, how it’s pushed aside until it seems almost inevitable gonna die boy. getting harder to deny boy. Longing for external help from someone with a little more emotional awareness who’s able to lend you some safety to sit in that feeling. How hard it is to face the day and face life when the wave of sadness feels constant, like the torrential stream of water when you sit underneath the waterfall at the base of Empress Canyon (which, over time, erodes the rock to create a pool metres and metres deep. I don’t know if he ever thought of this metaphor but I thought it was cool). How more often than not, your emotionally unavailable dad was emotionally unavailable (and scarred you as a result) because he was experiencing the same thing. struggling. How can you process when the exact thing that made life still so difficult for you was the fact that someone you relied on was in the exact same position you are now? Doesn’t that make you feel helpless?

I don’t see nobody taking action.

California Holds Her Breath: I heard snippets of this one before I heard the whole song, and as a result, I can’t unsee in it the same compassion and pride and admiration which ashton looks at his bandmates with. And hopefully himself a little too. I don’t know who the dancer from Indiana is, but I do know of a four-piece band from Australia who came to California and went through some really amazing things but also some really hard things, who have talked about battling things like addiction and who we’ve seen worry for each other too. Who left the stability and support of a home country which they didn’t quite belong in, that didn’t give them the opportunity to chase after what they wanted at the time, for homesickness and the kind of danger that comes with experiences and substances that are only going to make things worse if you’re already unwell or have some vulnerability to addiction or a trauma background or you just feel alone or one of many other things. From the sounds good feels good era of bathroom-graffiti-like angsty confessions to the makeup and tears of the youngblood era to the surrounded-but-alone vibe of 5sos5.

I didn’t address the alcoholism references in rebel at heart. But I feel like this is the other side of you’re blacking out with alcohol don’t drown yourself again, this world just don’t feel right for you and you don’t play pretend. you’re just another falling star you’re burning out again. It’s deciding to be the rebel you are and to create but it’s hard and you’re bleeding and you’re still blacking out with alcohol after crying underneath your makeup and bathroom graffiti confessions. It’s the same melancholic longing and loneliness we’ve gotten as a vibe from this band forever. that over the years has taken some dark turns and we were holding our breath when it did because stardom is so fucking dangerous especially if you get into it because you felt like you were missing something to begin with. It’s they cursed/gifted you with emotion and creativity and so you came to california. will you make it once you’re there? california holds her breath.

(reblog coming with the rest of the songs)

[naavispider]

Ok HEAR ME OUT

Misguided ghosts by Paramore https://youtu.be/oGWeHPK3NC4

ITS AN INSANE SONG, it perfectly describes Spider’s life, his captivity in the rda, and how he feels about the recombinants. NOW-

Imagine he plays it on the ukulele, sitting up in a tree and looking at Polemius, and the lyrics just hits the recoms right into the heart. ESPECIALLY Miles, when he sings “So I can find, someone to rely on and run to them, to them..”

If you’re not taking this prompts it’s totally fine, I just got emotional over imagining Spider sing it lol

The lyrics are so perfect for when Spider was with Quaritch and the recoms, somebody should make an edit already 🙌🏻 Here are just SOME of the lyrics:

See I'm trying to find my place and it might not be here where I feel safe

Would someone care to classify our broken hearts and twisted minds, So I can find someone to rely on and run to them, Full speed ahead

The ones we trusted the most pushed us far away

We should not be the same, But I'm just a ghost and still they echo me

Hkhdskshf like,, yeah. @hyperfixatedfandomer

"What's that you're singing kid?" Quaritch asked, pulling Spider completely out of his reverie.

Immediately, he stopped fingering the ukulele and scooted further away from the recom into the firelight. A few of the other members of the squad were still awake, leaning against tree trunks or trying to find a comfortable position to lie in on the floor. No one was chatting anymore, leading Spider to believe that if they weren't interested in his noodling before, they definitely were now.

"Have you got nothing better to do than listen to my singing?" Spider bristled. He hadn't realised that anyone could hear him at this distance.

"Surprisingly, no," Quaritch retorted, which elicited a grumpy huff from the teenager.

"Some old Earth band. Why do you care?" He tried to make it clear how much he was not in the mood to discuss it.

Quaritch shrugged, eyeing Spider strangely.

Spider was just working his way through his repertoire, but weirdly enough that particular song was extremely fitting to the situation, he realised as he worked out the chords. It was just a shame that Quaritch seemed to take an interest. Immediately, he decided not to sing it again. That was the end of that conversation.

... Or so he thought.

Spider couldn't know, but Quaritch had been listening as closely as possible to his son's impromptu, one-man jam session. He couldn't know that the lyrics had resonated with Quaritch in a way that made the recom consider Spider's feelings more so than he'd ever done before. He couldn't know that Quaritch couldn't sleep that night, his son's soft voice echoing over and over in his brain. He couldn't know that Quaritch hadn't heard every line, but he'd heard every ounce of truth and hurt and pain behind the words. He couldn't know, because he shrugged the uke away from him and rolled over to go to sleep soon after, feeling resentful that his noodling had been so rudely interrupted.

[slashingdisneypasta]

For the fic sentence thing, I thought of these sentences for different characters (you don't have to do all of them of course, I wanted to give you a choice and also not flood your inbox more than I already have 😅 I hope that's ok. Though if it isn't, you can just ignore this)

Norman Nordstrom

He found it amusing when you, gently, ordered him to sit down while you made tonight's dinner, as if he hadn't been living on his own and caring for himself all these years.

Freddy Krueger

You were just walking down the halls of the very familiar boiler room, an amused smile on your face as you felt the air behind you shift erratically, right where you knew that Freddy was 'sneaking' behind you.

Jennifer Check

"Are you sure I need all this?" You asked as your friend added more cosmetics to the shopping basket, "I don't wear makeup that often anyway... Wait, are you using this as an excuse to shop for your own makeup?"

Inkubus

You did find him pleasant company, really! Even if he did look at you... That way... But it's not like he was anything more than a charming- albeit way too smooth- guy you knew.

Slenderman:

"You stress yourself too much." You state- not in a playful tone that would imply you had other things in mind, but a genuinely concerned and slightly frustrated tone, "C'mon, let's get a cup of tea, or take a walk through your forest. You love your forest!"

Chick Hicks (Human)

"Wow, your car is pretty impressive." You commented with a smirk, before leaning against the front of the car foxily, "Do you use it for just the races, or can you make use of it on your downtime too~?"

Randall (monster or human, you decide)

'Really? He has to bother me on my lunch break too?' You thought while rolling your eyes once Randall approached you.

Psycho Weasel (human or toon, you decide)

Everytime without fail, whenever his friends managed to 'bring' you here, those crazy eyes of his would follow your form no matter where you went.

Cruella De Vil

She stopped dead in her tracks when she heard that song- the only successful song Anita's spouse had managed to write, that was about her- and you singing along with it on the radio.

Ok I better stop here. Holy moly, it was harder than I thought to configure 1 sentence for a whole narrative XD

But anyways, even if you don't write these (which is totally fine!) I hope you at least got a kick out of these sentences ^^

These are great sentences XDD Much better then the ones I added!! 🤣🤣🤣 Thank you so much, these are fantastic prompts to work with!! I did them all- because- I couldn't resist XD

Also most of these exceed the sentence limit by one or two 😅Sorryy...

As if he hadn't been living on his own and caring for himself all these years. With Norman Nordstrom

He found it amusing when you, gently, ordered him to sit down while you made tonight's dinner, as if he hadn't been living on his own and caring for himself all these years.

So he did not sit down, he instead followed your footsteps into the kitchen- so silently, apparently, that you did not hear him. You jumped under his touch when he found you at the stove, and wrapped his arms around your middle; Tucking his chin over the top of one of and watching unseeingly, silently, over one of your shoulders.

You quickly relax under Norman's familiar, strong touch though, and feel the warm and fuzzies envelope you just like his arms that you know perfectly well could hurt you so easily- but instead make you feel safe. With a gentle smile, you just continue to cook the steaks and the broccoli, listening to the sizzling sounds with him and relaxing against his warm body until they're good and cooked, and you turn your head to whisper to him how its done and he can wait at the table if he wants.

"No," he just says, gruffly, turning stubbornly to collect plates and cutlery for the both of you. "Not leaving."

Right where you knew Freddy was 'sneaking' behind you. With Freddy Krueger

You were just walking down the halls of the very familiar boiler room, an amused smile on your face as you felt the air behind you shift erratically, right where you knew that Freddy was 'sneaking' behind you.

What is he doing??? you ask yourself, exasperated and bemused at your doofus' antics and almost tempted to ignore him- he's been hiding from you for hours, only giving you a sense that he's near every now and then to keep you on your toes as you wander the maze of a boiler room... just like this. You shouldn't turn around- you shouldn't play right into his hands- his games... but god damn it, you cant help it!!

"Fredd- oh for fucks sake, get your burnt ass outta the shadows, I am not gonna fall for this again you toothpick-fingered, melted-cheese-face looking- "You're just building up to call him a bitch, when you turn back in the direction you were walking again and come face to face with the smug, smirking bitch. It takes your breath away, surprised at the sudden appearance. "- Oh."

"Yeah,... oh."

Wait, are you using this as an excuse to shop for your own makeup? With Jennifer Check

"Are you sure I need all this?" You asked as your friend added more cosmetics to the shopping basket, "I don't wear makeup that often anyway... Wait, are you using this as an excuse to shop for your own makeup?"

"Needy, am I using this as an excuse to shop for my own makeup?" Jennifer asks, not even paying a whole lot of attention to your concerns, even as she picks up your hand and draws a cute little heart on it with a tube of tester lipstick.

Needy, the one pushing the trolley, gives a tight smile, a tired sigh, and a blunt nod to you as you stand there with your hand stuck in Jennifer's grip.. "Yeah, she is."

"... oh you bitch- You do not get to share our curly fries when we hit the food court."

Even if he did look at you... That way... With Inkubus

You did find him pleasant company, really! Even if he did look at you... That way... But it's not like he was anything more than a charming- albeit way too smooth- guy you knew.

... right?, you think, looking hopefully at the little adorable koi fish in the pond you're kneeling next to; awaiting guidance from them. "I mean- I'm too busy for a guy," You whisper this part out loud followed by a very nervous chuckle, sprinkling a few food pellets to the fish as offerings. "So... I can just ignore this- him- cant I?? Surely... "

Feeling crazy, talking to koi, you give a frustrated sigh and lay down in the grass beneath you by the pond; Closing your eyes and trying to clear your mind of thoughts... about him... him... aghhh!

Little do you know, of course, Inkubus is there right then, with you- leaning against the side of a tree just out of sight, and thinking how abominably adorable you are... thinking you could ignore him.

C'mon, let's get a cup of tea, or take a walk through your forest. with Slenderman

"You stress yourself too much." You state- not in a playful tone that would imply you had other things in mind, but a genuinely concerned and slightly frustrated tone, "C'mon, let's get a cup of tea, or take a walk through your forest. You love your forest!"

"I don't have time for a cup of tea," he snaps back, the tentacles on his back practically flying they flick around so much; The irritation clear in his body language. "I have some teenagers to kill."

"You wont kill Jeff and Liu... they're too valuable as manual labour- you need them."

"Oh no I don't- I have you."

The way your jaw absolutely drops, at that, causes Slender to stop his flicking for a moment - if only a moment, - and release a sound somewhere akin to a low, staticky, inhuman chuckle.

Foxily. With Chick Hicks This is a prequal to his section in This Smexcerpts post.

"Wow, your car is pretty impressive." You commented with a smirk, before leaning against the front of the car foxily, "Do you use it for just the races, or can you make use of it on your downtime too~?"

"I can use this whenever I want! Why, baby?" Chick swaggers up to you, setting his feet on either side of yours so his body is right up against yours and he's looking down at you; a mischievous look on the older racer's face that just matches the twinkle in yours, "Didja have an offer for me?"

You know this is probably not a good idea - Chick Hicks does not have the best reputation, and he seems to act just like how the tabloids show him, unlike the other racer's you've met today, - , that you should just finish flirting with him and leave it at that- let that be the story you tell when you're searching for bragging rights... But his warm body against yours sets you alight and you desperately want this man, now; Any way that he'll have you... take you... use you.

So, flashing a dangerous smirk, you slither your arms up over his chest to link around the nape of his neck, playing with the short, brown hair there. "Hm, no~... Do you have any for me?"

He has to bother me on my lunch break too? With Randall Boggs *Note- This one is linked up to This set of Dark Drabbles. I feel like that may be what you were going for??? I dunno, but there it is, now XDD 😅

'Really? He has to bother me on my lunch break too?' You thought while rolling your eyes once Randall approached you.

Ugh... Pouting, and feeling sick to your stomach now because he's back and he's taking your hand in his as he sits down next to you, and he's so close... you can feel his breath on your face as you huph and lower your lunch; Defeated. "Do we have to do this now?? I really wanted to enjoy this rot dog... "

He gives a chuckle, eyes flickering to the paperwork in front of you that you were gonna do while you ate- like he's entitled to know what you're up to- like you're truly in a relationship with eachother. "Sweetheart this is lunch, this is exactly when I'm gonna get cosy with you- get used to it, and maybe eat when you get home if I really turn you off your lunch... "

Eyes downcast, you cringe in on yourself, away from him. "... I want you to leave me alone, Randall... "

"That's not going to happen, doll, so keep quiet and give me a smile~ "

Those crazy eyes of his would follow your form no matter where you went. With Psycho Weasel

Every time without fail, whenever his friends managed to 'bring' you here, those crazy eyes of his would follow your form no matter where you went.

Greasy disgusted you- he would take great pleasure in being the one to hold you down while one of the others tied you up; With the canvas bag over your head you couldn't really see whoever it was touching you... but Greasy had his calling cards, including wandering hands and groping.

Smartass hurt you ears, yelling at you, and yelling at the others too.

Then Stupid was a real problem- once he got a hold of you, you were not getting away.

Wheezy stank, and if you ever got lung cancer you would blame him, but to be truthful he never really went near you- his problem was staring, those slate grey eyes would make you feel cold just feeling them on you... but still, they were nothing compared to Psycho.

He was the one you worried about, the one that caught your attention; the way he looked at you, but never ever came close to you, was different... you kind of wanted him to come near.

The only successful song Anita's spouse had managed to write, that was about her. With Cruella De Vil

She stopped dead in her tracks when she heard that song- the only successful song Anita's spouse had managed to write, that was about her- and you singing along with it on the radio.

When you turned to look over your shoulder and see Cruella standing in the kitchen doorway, the words to the song die on your tongue- your hands no longer washing dishes. Quickly though you switch that shocked look on your face in with an awkward, yet smug grin; Giving a jaunty little shrug. "Its catchy- and so true."

For a good moment, she just sneers at you; Looking like she's about to snap for your insolence in her own home... then her eyes disappear up into the back of her skull in that cool, intense way you love- quite used to your insolence (Sometimes, its a good thing after all). "Whatever- I'm just too busy to worry about the influence Rufus' dumb little tune might have right now-- Did my package arrive at all, today, or do I need to pay that postal office a visit?"

[khaotungthanawat]

Artists and designers self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five works in any medium that you've created, then pass it on to at least five other creators. Let’s spread the self-love 💛

aw thank you for thinking of me, cat! apologies for being so late to do this 💛💛💛

💜 icon: pete saengtham set - this set was a BEAST to make (the first gif alone took me two days to get the way i wanted it kdfshfj), but i love the way it turned out! i set out to really let loose with typography and animation and transitions, and i think i pulled it off.

🧡 only friends + iphones set - when @cal-kestis shared her template for her incredible iphone sets, i had to give it try! coming up with different color combos and thinking about what the characters would prioritize on their phones was a lot of fun.

💖 emotions: love + uncertainty (sand x ray, only friends) set - this set reinvented itself a few times bc i wanted it to express what was happening between sand and ray at the time it was being posted. i'm often inspired by music, and when 'do i wanna know' by arctic monkeys played in one of my mixes, i knew that had to be the basis. that sand mentions liking arctic monkeys in the show only helped fuel that. i was inspired by this set, esp by the second to last gif, and i wanted a similar effect for my set. it took FOREVER to get it (mostly) the way i wanted it, because i had to just. figure it out? it's not as seamless as it is in the inspiration set, but i think i did okay?

💛 sand x ray, only friends (inspired by this beautiful set by @seamayweed) aka the kintsugi set - i fell in love with sea's kintsugi set and when the prompt of 'inspiration' was announced for the userdramas event, i immediately thought of it. the timing coincided with eps 8 & 9 of only friends, and i was thinking about how ray has these 'cracks' and sand is the gold lovingly piecing them back together to help make something even more beautiful......that was corny as hell but that was the thought process. honestly? i think it turned out beautifully and i'm really proud of it.

❤️ halsey - finally // beautiful stranger (sand x ray, only friends) (tw cracked glass effect and flickering neon) - this was a birthday gift for my beloved @henwilsons, who loves sandray as well. she also likes halsey, so i combed thru some songs and finally (heh) decided to work with 'finally // beautiful stranger'. i feel like the mood and lyrics of the song mirror sand's feelings for ray: this beautiful stranger bulldozes his way into his life and he wants to believe they can just be friends, that sex between them won't change anything ('and i say i'm only playing'). but whoops he fucked around and fell in love. and he's been hurt but he can't help but want this man. (god these bozos mean so much to me.) i wanted the set to have a 'last call at the bar' kind of vibe, so i used deep blue and red and then paired that with neon lighting. the cracked glass effect to convey being terrified and hurt just made sense to me. i think it turned out nice, and mia really liked it, and that was the most important thing!

💚 put that blorbo under a microscope!: ray pakorn - she's new but i love her! like most a lot of my sets, i didn't have a solid idea in my head about what i wanted to do. i knew that i wanted to gif ray (he's such a dumpling), that the scene of ray and sand in the hallway of the rehab center with the green floral art behind them made me want to use green, and it evolved from there. infinite thanks go to @deokmis who patiently listened to me ramble about this and gave me valuable suggestions and feedback that made it so much better! i love this set and i'm obsessed with green now.

so there you go. yeah, i know. i did six sets. i couldn't choose and also i don't know how to shut up. don't be like me. be normal.

[sleepygamerotaku]

~|Your Hoodie...|~{Part One}

Paring:

Scaramouche X Reader

Prompt:

none

Content Warnings:

angst, cuss words, violence(?), crying, mental breakdown(s), implied established relationship, tue story is written in a first person POV, lmk if i missed anything

Reader pronouns:

not specified (read in first person)

Authors note:

I have been working on this since July 25th of this year... i Have gotten nowhere close to finishing it so i decided to break it up into chapters. this is Chapter one of a -however many parts it takes me to finish this shit- part story. This was inspired by the song Hoodie by Hey Violet! i have cried FAT crocodile tears whenever i would try writinrg onto this so there's that i suppose... Whenever i finish them i will post the next chapters here! might do Scara's POV later on but idk-

❈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❈

"You dumbass..." He hissed. Scaramouche always said that me... But he always said it a lighter, semi-playful tone. He never truly meant it. But this time... It was mean. He said it with genuine anger, evidently clear in his voice. The same voice that always teased me... The same voice that lulled me back to sleep whenever i had a nightmare... The same exact voice that gave me butterflies.

The same exact voice I used to love, now filled with hatred and anger. I know he had a short temper. I accepted that the day we met. "You never shut up... And you don't listen either..." He heaved at me again, the tone of his voice was still angry... Because he wasn't just angry... He was infuriated. Infuriated at me. I felt the tears as they stung the corner of my eyes. I didn't bother wiping them away as they rolled down my cheeks.

I've witnessed him snap before. But he's never snapped at me... "I'm... Just... FUCKING DONE WITH YOU!"

He quickly turned around and punched the wall. I thought he going to punch me, so instinctively i flinch, a small squeak escaping my lips as well. I gulp and with all my strength i muster his name. "S-scara-" He simply growled in response, cutting me off. "I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOU ANYMORE!!"

......... And just like that... He stormed out of the door without another word.

I held my hands close to my chest and i let myself fall to the floor. I begin to sob uncontrollably while i clutch onto my shirt and let the crocodile tears fall, and fall, and fall. I continue to cry and screaming in the middle of the living room floor.

I guess he just doesn't love me anymore... I annoyed him too much... I knew i was just a burden to him... Did he even love me to begin with..? Did he mean it when he said he loved me..? Did he mean it when he said he trusted me..? Did he simply take pity on me so he didn't have to see me being pathetic..?

The negative thoughts flowed as quick as my tears and i didn't know what to do... So i kept sobbing. I kept sobbing until it hurt my cheeks. I wiped away the tears and sat there trying to calm down and fully comprehend whatever just happened...

After i calmed down i stood up and glanced at the digital clock on the coffee table. It read [ 1 : 17 AM] usually me and Scara would be asleep in our shared bedroom by now... but he stormed out of the apartment so he wasn't there anymore.

The bed never felt so empty before... I got comfortable underneath the covers but i couldn't fall asleep for awhile... I was too worried about Scaramouche... Was he okay? Where is he going to sleep tonight? Is he even going to be home by tomorrow? He said he couldn't deal with me anymore so i wondered if he would come back. Slowly, drowsiness began to consume me before i finally fell into a slumber...

(~Time-skip~)

I feel my eyes flutter open and the light of the sun seeped through the windows of the bedroom. Last night was playing on repeat in my mind. It's all i can think about.

"You never shut up... And you don't listen either... I'm... Just... FUCKING DONE WITH YOU!"

I thought of Scaramouche's irritated voice and cruel words that he directed at me. I didn't even realize i was crying and hugging his pillow until my tears fell on my hand. There really isn't a reason for me to still be upset over all of this.

I slide out of bed and stand up. I don't move i just stand at the side of my bed. No thoughts filled my mind i simply stood there. My eyes slowly wandered around the room before setting on my closet door.

I heaved a heavy breathe and started walking. I might as well change out of the clothes i was wearing now. I don't have anything better to do anyways. Scara isn't here anymore and i don't even know if he will come back. He probably hates me now...

I slide open the closet door and look at all the clothes i have. but there was another half of clothes that weren't mine.

inside the closet was Scaramouche's hoodie that he always wore. he would wear it all day and put it away before bed... he must be so cold without it...

I reach out my hand and rub the arm of the soft hoodie before taking it off it's hanger and putting it to my nose. it still smells like his cologne...

"GODDAMNIT-!!"

i let myself fall to the floor and cry even more. It felt like i was drowning. His scent filled all of senses and left me numb, just as he did before he left.

After some minutes of crying i sit up. My phone was still lying on the nightstand so i rise to my feet and slip his hoodie on. After walking towards my phone and click Scara's contact photo, which was one of the times i ever made him laugh... He was smiling so warmly.... i was the only one he ever smiled at like that... with such genuine love and happiness...

i start typing ; Scara are you alright??? Are you still mad at me? ; and click send. i pull his hoodie to my nose again... i miss him so much. i feel tears begin to well in my eyes as i start chewing on the hoodie strings. i glance back to my phone screen... He left me on read... i pick my phone back up and lie down with it over my face.

i call him and put the speaker to me ear. it rang... and rang... then beeped. he didn't answer me... of course he would still be mad at me. why wouldn't he be. i screwed up bad. I don't blame him. i try to call again but he didn't answer this time either... why is the world so cruel like this?

Why did he hate me so much? Why did he leave? what if he never comes back? what if he completely resents me and has been faking it from the start? what if- *bing!*

💜Scara💜

I'm Sorry.

I'm coming back. Wait for me inside.

[lunarwritesthings]

Who Did It

Paring: Gerard Way x M!Oc

Fandom: My Chemical Romance

Request: Yes, by anon

Summary: Gerard learns that his boyfriend is hurt and demands to know who did it, so he can "talk" to them.

Prompt: #47 “Who did this to you?”

Note: The nickname sugar is used because I've seen so many people use it in gee fics that I feel it fits. Gerard is referred to as Gee and Colton is referred to by Col at times.

Warning: Bruises and blood is mentioned!

It's well known that Gerard is shy and extremely nice but what's basically unknown is Gee is a totally different person when someone he loves is hurt. Then he's ready to fight the whole world if he has to.

There's one specific person he'd drop everything for. That person is his love, better known as his boyfriend. Gerard would refuse to go anywhere without him, that included tour. Gee and Colton were inseparable. This was not surprised those close to them. Gee and Col had been together for 3 almost 4 years. They were super important to each other.

Now, normally Colton can protect himself and fight back if he's expecting something to happen. That why the day so-called "fans" decided to hurt Colton simply because they were jealous and apparently Colton "wasn't good enough for Gerard". No one was prepared for what was about to ensue. Let's just say there one rule the band has. That being DO NOT mess with Colton.

It took Gee a while to learn about Colton being hurt because it happened while the band was on stage. Gerard learned about what happened when a voice came through on his in-ears. Gee was immediately filled with anger. He wanted to know who dare hurt his sugar. Mikey, Frank, and Ray knew just off Gerard's mood changed that something had happened to Col and they knew this wasn't going to end well.

The concert was close to being over. The guys were in between songs and on a short break so Ray, Mikey, and Frank had used this time to check on Gee and see what happened to Col. Gee didn't answer the question of how he was he just told them that Colton had gotten hurt. Of course, this upset them. They weren't as upset as Gee well except Frank, but they were still upset.

To Mikey, Col was like the young brother he never got. Mike was honestly surprised Col wasn't truly his brother yet but he wasn't going to rush Colton or Gerard. He cared about both of them a lot. They were part of his family. His main worry was knowing how hurt Colton was. He didn't care about who did it. He wanted to make sure Col was okay.

Ray being the dad of the group was trying to calm down Gee but he was worried about Col as well. He knew something was wrong when he didn't Col in the front row like normal. Now to Ray, Colton was a best friend and almost a son. Col always went to Ray when he needed advice because he knew Raw would listen and try his best to help. They were aware of the father/son bond but didn't care.

Frank was on the same level as Gee on being angry. He wanted to know who dare had the fucking audacity to hurt Colton. Colton was probably Frank's best friend. They had bonded over so much. Frank and Colton may not be related but they sure as hell acted like brothers. Frank was big on being there for Col even if that meant defending him from people because rude to him simply because he was gay and trans. Colton was Frank's not-so-little buddy. That meant if someone hurt col then they better start running because karma was coming.

Once the concert was over Gee and Frank immediately ran to the medical area to check on col and find out who did it. Ray and Mikey shared a look before following the other two to make sure they didn't go crazy and to make sure Frank and Gerard didn't try and murder anyone.

When Ray and Mikey got to the medical area they were shocked when they saw col. Col had a lot of bruises and a quite a bit of blood coming from his nose. Gerard was beyond angry. He had one question. "Who did this to you?". Simple yet not so much for Colton. Did he really want to tell the band that "fans" of theirs did this? Of course, he didn't but col didn't have much of a choice. One Colton told them, they all had different reactions.

Gerard's reaction hadn't changed much but Colton could see the disappointment in his eyes. Frank? He was furious. people who called themselves had the audacity to hurt Col over stupid jealousy and a stupid opinion.

Ray was just fully disappointed. There were people that were fans of theirs that were willing to hurt someone that made Gee happy. He couldn't understand. Mikey was sad and disappointed. It made Mike sad that people told col that he wasn't enough for gee yet Mikey has never seen gee more happy and more himself. Mike was disappointed in the fact they felt like they were Dan's.

Gerard had picked up Colton the second he was free to go. Until Col was fully healed Gee wasn't letting his sugar leave his sight. Deep down Gerard was scared of this happening again. Ray and Mikey worked on calming down Frank and worked on a tweet to post about the situation because it needed to be talked about.

Gee had gently put Col in their shared bunk and knew that col was shaken up and needed comfort. Knowing this Gee was careful but laid down next to Col and let col cuddle into his side. Gerard refused to sleep just in case Colton needed something.

Colton wasn't going to be in bad shape for long only a few days. By the time Col was healed the band had made a tweet about the situation and thank to the help of the fans they found the ones that hurt Colton. They were rightfully banned from all shows and events where My Chemical Romance would be. At the end of the day karma had gotten the "fans" and Col was alright and safe.

[freshrained]

BOY WITHOUT A CAR / A.I

Requested; no, but requests are open!

Pair; Ashton x reader

Note; first longer writing that im posting to Tumblr, and its sort of an au, based in 2013/2014. this has been sitting in my drafts for almost two years and it just needs to be posted lol, please be kind & i would love any type of feedback. more to come

Prompt; somewhat based off of boy without a car by the vamps

Word count; 1k

———

He sat there under the tree just glancing at her while trying to remember the rhythms he had to know for band practice later.

It was his typical spot, usually to just watch her with her friends. Everyday he'd come to the same tree in the courtyard of school. Most of the time it was a way for him to get away from his friends that were pissing him off, but he just wanted to see her, other than at 3AM.

He knew her, but she didn’t talk to him while they were at school, or public in general. He understood though, she was popular and he wasn’t. He was just in a lame band and he didn’t quite have himself figured out.

His fingers had stopped moving and he realized that he was staring at her, when she glared back he knew he had to leave. He just wanted to talk to her, tell her how he felt, but he knew she wouldn’t feel the same way about him.

hey pretty face, I need to tell you something xx

He sent it as soon as he was out of her sight. He couldn’t get over her, and the fact that he knew she didn’t even care about the ‘friends’ she was with, even if she never really got close with them.

Ashton knew she didn’t get close to anyone, but he was an exception, and he still didn’t understand the girl.

“Bro you’re late. Again,” Calum muttered, confused to who he had been texting, and he used to never be late to a band practice.

“I know, just kinda got caught up at school,” Ashton didn’t even think twice about his answer and avoided eye contact with the dark haired boy.

“Ash, come on that’s been your excuse for the last week, what the hell is going on?” Calum quirked a brow, not putting up with his bullshit.

“Calum, I’m serious, school has been kicking my ass and I’ve been trying to learn new songs, promise it won’t happen again,” he looked up at Calum, defeated because he didn’t want Calum to be disappointed in him.

“Just fucking play the songs,” Calum spat, hoping Ashton would spill at some point what he was actually doing.

“Stop being such a fucking asshole, Calum,” Luke glared at him, being the only person to know what Ashton was dealing with, he knew Ashton was being lead on, he knew Ashton was gonna get hurt at some point. He tried to tell Ashton and he wouldn’t listen.

“Guys its fine, he’s right, I’ve been late recently, I’ll step it up,” Ashton mumbled while sitting on the drum stool, hoping they would just drop the subject.

“How do we expect him to be on time when he doesn’t have a car and rides a bike?” Michael spoke up, trying to help Ashton out, even though he didn’t really know what was happening.

———

Once band practice was over, Ashton didn’t even know what to do. He still had 4 hours until he could go and meet her, so he decided to keep texting her and he knew it was a bad idea.

You know, ive never met a girl like you

Im glad i did though

Because you always have me wanting more

She never responded to him, but it was normal. He’d text her, she wouldn’t respond and they would still end up meeting at 3AM anyways. It was always at the park, and even though she didn’t wanna be seen with him, she went with it, and has kept with it.

3:01AM

“Ash you’re late,” she faintly smiled, hoping he would sit next to her.

“I know, just kind of confused because you still show up, and still meet me here. And I know you don’t get close to anyone. I’m just wondering how we got this far I guess,” he rambled taking the seat next to her. Ashton was so caught up in looking at her, he didn’t even realize she was speaking to him.

“I don’t know, you’re just easy to talk to I guess, you understand me, trust me I’m surprised we still meet every night too,” she hoped she didn’t lead him on because it was all fun in the beginning until she caught feelings for the boy she couldn’t be seen with.

“Don’t quite understand how this happened though, like I’m just a boy without a car, you have a car, you have guys lined up with cars that want to date you.  I ride my bike everywhere, and that’s no way to get around. like girls like you don’t talk to guys like me. and it’s so easy to talk to you, like I literally pour my heart and soul out to you and you don’t ever judge me, I just wish you felt the same way about me,” the last part he whispered, hoping she didn’t catch it.

“Fuck Ashton, if you had any idea about the way I felt about you, you wouldn’t be left high and dry all of the time,” she looked up at him, thankful something was finally being done about it.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” He was confused, especially because she felt the same way towards him, even if she ignored him at school and wouldn’t ever respond to his messages.

“If it hasn’t been obvious this whole time, I like you, and I love talking to you, I know I might not be good at showing that, but if you wouldn’t be a dumb boy for 2 seconds you would know I like you back and would of interacted with you more,” she was messing with the hole in her jeans, becoming more nervous by the second because she really did like him and wished she hadn’t treated him the way that she did.

“y’know, you’re like rain, I love to drown myself in it,” Ashton smiled, glad his feelings finally got across to her.

“Glad to say that I feel the same way,”  she smiled, thankful for all of the times they met up to talk at 3AM.

[bravevolunteer]

GET  TO  KNOW  THE  MUN.

WHAT  MADE  YOU  PICK  UP  THE  MUSE  YOU  HAVE  ?   well you see i liked fnaf and its lore a normal amount until one night after security breach boosted the fandom i thought a little bit Too Hard while staring at the ceiling and decided to add michael afton the next day-

IS  THERE  ANYTHING  YOU  DON'T  LIKE  TO  WRITE  ?  aside from the obvious? in spite of writing a marvel character for years straight i also suck at constant action with nothing else going on (aside from figuring out how to phrase it i really struggle knowing how far to go in those kinds of replies without overstepping what the other muse would do if that makes sense), which is great because for as much as michael gets into fights he is Just A Guy. and uh... for michael specifically, given the ambiguity of fnaf, there are some ideas that i'm not on board with because they don't align with how i see the story you know?

IS  THERE  ANYTHING  YOU  REALLY  ENJOY  WRITING  ?   angst and hurt/comfort sorry i am a predictable bitch i'll eat it up every single time. the softness hits harder when it comes with or after excruciating pain

HOW  DO  YOU  COME  UP  WITH  YOUR  HEADCANONS  ?  possession yeah. i can't force them they just occur to me in sudden visions. who said that.

DO  YOU  WRITE  IN  SILENCE  OR  LISTEN  TO  MUSIC  ?   music always i CANNOT write in silence, i barely Exist in silence. usually i'll use a character playlist (stupid amount of michael ones), however if it's overstimulating and makes writing more difficult i'll loop specific songs that set the mood but i can tune out for the most part

DO  YOU  PLAN  YOUR  REPLIES  OR  WING  THEM  ?   somewhere in between? i definitely like to plot things out, ESPECIALLY with michael, however i prefer plotting that leans closer towards discussing overall dynamics or the general vibe/direction of a thread. i will not hesitate to go super in depth there. while i rotate them in my head constantly before i write the reply, i tend not to go too far discussing a Hyper Specific prompt though because then i'll avoid writing it (both because i've already discussed it so much and i end up hyping it up to the point where i've set impossible standards)

DO  YOU  ENJOY  SHIPPING  ?   yes :) all kinds :)

WHAT'S  YOUR  ALIAS/NAME  ?   ash which is just. my name. real nickname. it's not that interesting of a story DKFHFJDS however if i were to start going by an alias online my favorite option has always been atlas

AGE  ?   21

BIRTHDAY  ?  october 17

FAVORITE  COLOR  ?   always changes because something's wrong with me. been a sage green enjoyer lately like the gay person i am ( but most of my clothes are black )

FAVORITE  SONG  ?   soooo many so you're getting my 2023 winners: song was not strong enough boygenius but my favorite Album was unreal unearth

LAST  MOVIE  YOU  WATCHED  ?   humiliatingly enough i. Think it was the fnaf movie ( at 3am on call while going insane ) i don't think i've watched one since then

LAST  SHOW  YOU  WATCHED  ?   oh god my brain hasn't been letting me watch anything new lately but i THINK it was trying to watch infinity train and then giving up because of that lmao. if podcasts count i'm relistening to tma-

LAST  SONG  YOU  LISTENED  TO  ?  ... once more to see you mitski

FAVORITE  SEASON  ?   autumn

DO  YOU  HAVE  A  TUMBLR  BEST  FRIEND  ?   i have so many beloved close friends i've met on tumblr i can't just list ONE

tagged by: @mischiiefs tagging: yea mak you stole a good chunk of the crew just steal it from me idk DHJFSJDF