#i dealt with this with SU and ML
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dizzying-faust · 1 year ago
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Personally, my problem with leaks, aside from how it ruins the surprise or how it can hurt people's enjoyment of the shows, is when you have a fandom full of people that are negative Nancy's/salters/"criticals"/etc. it's that time they become even more annoying about being negative.
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larentsaloud · 3 years ago
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Gorya versus Yeon-Su
I’ve been thinking about poverty and how the women from my two favourite shows handle it. (F4 Thailand / Our beloved summer)
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Women are frequently portrayed as poor, for reasons unbeknownst to me, perhaps to set up the saviour trope. But recently I also see this as a way to create tension and just simply have two opposites for the sake of the plot. Especially creating a character that is proud and fearful of being discovered and playing the imposter syndrome bit like Yeon-Su.
If it makes sense for the story I don’t mind, but I do mind the way it’s handled in Our Beloved Summer, because the whole clash between the characters is due to her inability to communicate her background and poverty and ultimately her shame. In a way she is way more relatable to the second male lead with their tendencies to run away from problems.
The ball is in her corner because the ML seems to have already opened up about being adopted. And she handled that beautifully.
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Back to my rant.
I hate shame with a passion, because it’s a debilitating force. It has caused me to do things that I relate to Yeon-Su. Not going to places, falling out of friendships because people were from rich backgrounds and while I grew up utterly spoiled— we were not ultra chaebols. And now as an adult I am nothing but poor, because — well. *Points to the world in chaos*
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So I do understand the perils of counting pennies. What I absolutely adore about Gorya and the way she’s portrayed:
Her Honesty!
Finally someone who isn’t afraid to say:
“Oh this will feed my whole family. I don’t think I can eat here.”
See what happens when you lay your cards on the table? Look at this self awareness 🥰
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The other person becomes considerate and if they’re anything like Thyme they won’t be a complete idiot about it. I think he dealt with it pretty well considering— him being who he is. LOL.
ISTG the amount of times I’ve seen the wound of poverty ruin relationships… Thank you writers for actually addressing it in a way that will hopefully inspire many people to do the same.
When I was growing up my family came from money but they had some difficulties with the government <cue in communism> and we lost everything. The sense of constant perpetration and feeling like an outcast were strong enough to push me outside of my comfort zone.
Yeon-Su however seems to hoard knowledge, education as a way to grasp on security, believing it will seal her success and thus keep her wages stable. She’s an example of highly introverted individual that has spikes all over but once you get to know her, you’ll see that she’s actually softest kitty that needs lots of love.
I relate to the way she was raised by her grandmother— because same.
But what bothers me…
What I can’t get wrap my head around…
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I know she didn’t want to stop Ung from reaching his goals, but was telling him you’re the only thing I can dispose of necessary and never explaining the break up? Also how dumb would he have to be to not realise she’s poor??
Like I GET IT, believe me I’ve felt like a hindrance to people. But…
I guess without it they would’ve had no wound to heal. Still, I am hoping we can start watching stories where the gaps between leads are not solely about wealth, but slightly more intricate things like values.
Like have you ever dated an extremist?
LOL. Don’t. I love doing stupid things like that.
What do we think?
I’m voting for Gorya in this one.
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belovedrival · 6 years ago
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This week has kinda sucked
...but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
Work has been crazy, people hate each other more with every passing moment over political shit or cultural shit (here’s looking at yooouuuu Game of Thrones), and the weather switched from cold and wet early spring-ish to hello! Summer overnight.
THREE bridges into St. Louis were closed yesterday due to construction and an accident. It took over an hour to go nine miles.
I was almost in an accident. It shook me up, bad.
Covering for someone at work has been a okay-at-first-but-holy-cats-now-all-hell-has-broken-loose kind of thing.
I’m tired.
I was crazy stressed this afternoon and then got on the bus and did NOT relax because I read precisely the wrong Tumblr post at precisely the wrong time, and sort of lost my shit for about half an hour.
Last night at my writer’s group a wise friend said (regarding the breakdown of our national political discourse), “It’s hard to judge someone when they’re sitting across from you at the table.” I immediately wanted to frame that sentiment and apply it to my social media behavior.
Yeahhhh... I already screwed that up. 😑
It’s easy for me to be angry. It’s easy to read something and take it the wrong way, rather than trying to put the best construction on someone else’s words.
I fail at that. I fail a lot, and I fail hard.
Did I mention that Crazypants Family is legitimately suing Mister’s school?
Yeah, that’s happening too.
So this week hasn’t been great.
But there are bright spots.
This evening we drank after work and went to dinner at a local bar (one of the inspirations for the bar called Pedro’s in my Chelsie fic Managing Love). I watched a little Cardinals baseball, and felt better. ⚾️
My bestie high school friend and I texted back and forth. She laughed at me when I said I was drunk. (I was then, I’m not now.)
And then we got home and my dear friend K called. She, her husband J and their daughters will visit us on Memorial Day weekend. Mister and I are having another couple we know come over for a game day that Saturday, so more! People! To! Play! 😄
It’s been a looooooong time since we’ve seen them. I’ve missed them more than I realized. They’ve been way better friends than I deserved.
Other bright spots this week:
I ran into an old friend from the law firm where I used to work (the inspiration behind ML). She and I talked in front of Walgreens for twenty minutes on Tuesday.
L told me that the office manager at the firm had been fired the previous month.
It. was. about. fucking. time. !!!!!!!!!!!!! 🎉🍾🎉
The woman always had perrrrrrrfect hair, like she spent hours on it, and she’d regularly come into the office late. Like, ten o’clock. Or later. And unlike most other office managers, she didn’t have another significant job. She wasn’t a secretary or paralegal, etc. We used to wonder what in the hell she actually did. Meanwhile the rest of the staff worked like dogs. The firm should’ve gotten rid of her years ago.
(Obviously in ML, I wrote Elsie Hughes as the kind of office manager anyone would want to have, not the snooty-too-good-for-you one I dealt with for a decade.)
Other than gossip, it was good to see L. She’s one of those tell it like it is folks, and hasn’t changed much in fifteen years.
Good God, time flies.
Another bright spot:
Writing. Oh goodness, writing. First, actually posting a new update felt SO GOOD - even if it tore everyone to shreds, including me. It always gives me a lift to continue the story and to actually see what people think of it.
I did go to my real life writer’s group meeting on Wednesday. The thing I’ve been bringing there continues to get enthusiasm, and I’m always blown away by the talent other people have, too. It makes me step up my game.
And last but not least, solid travel plans were made to see family later this year. Mister is such a blessing to me - I was well on my way to getting drunk at six o’clock this evening, and told him that I was grateful he understood why I had to go see family - “some of whom are blood, and others who aren’t.”
He replied in his usual way, “You gotta go see your people, I know.”
I love that man.
Maybe this week didn’t suck so much after all.
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dizzying-faust · 4 years ago
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Ditto.
Whenever I see the ml fandom, I get flashbacks to previous fandoms as well.
The Adrien bashing reminds me of my time int the Marvel fandom where people would constantly bash Bruce Banner because of Age of Ultron, where they tried to push brutasha. Mostly by bitter shippers, and this is coming from an anti Brucenat person. Heck, even the toxic Marinette stans remind me of those Black Widow stans who make her a poor ole victim of abuse from Bruce, just to make her be shipped with their preferred person. Although, at least I like Marinette unlike BW...
The ship wars, check the svtfoe fandom. I've dealt with so many toxic starco shippers who would harass people if they didn't ship them or have issues with it. Like shippers involving a certain blue one. Though it's not just shippers of that ship, I've seen it from Love Square, marigami, or any other spite ship.
The toxic stanning of characters, look at the jojo fandom. "X characters is good,, Y is bad" Especially by dudebros who make obnoxious jokes. There is also people that get obnoxious with their headcanons and attack you if you disagree, like a toxic purity culture. Seen that with the ML fandom as well.
And I don't wanna get started on how many comparisons I could make of ml salters to su criticals.
So yeah, you're not the only one.
You know, it occurs to me how much the bashing in Miraculous Ladybug reminds me of the bashing I’ve seen and heard about in other fandoms.
Like, the whole “she’s useless and awful to the main character and is generally a bitch” thing from Sakura bashing in Naruto tends to show up in Marinette bashing. Other aspects of Sakura bashing show up in other bashing too, with the whole “Sakura didn’t do enough to help and comfort Naruto, she deserves to be villainized, suffer, and maybe die” thing tends to crop up in Adrien and Alya bashing concerning Chameleon, and the “useless” accusation tends to be leveled against Chat Noir as well.
Weasley bashing as well, which often also villainizes and twists huge portions of the Wizarding World against Harry. The exaggeration of Ron’s negative characteristics and outright invention to turn him into a cruel, abusive, shitstain of a human being is reminiscent of the kind of twisting mockery salters make out of Alya, with how she’s made cruel, abusive, and physically violent, even helping to lead a ton of classmates in tormenting Marinette, and then using that to justify an epic revenge fantasy with Marinette having an excuse to be cruel back. Also Chloe, the resident bully, often then becomes Marinette’s new best friend, similarly to how Draco often replaces Ron in Weasley-bashing fics.
And it also reminds me of Aang bashing from Avatar: The Last Airbender, with how his words and actions are taken out of context or made to seem worse than they were in order to justify villainizing him, as long as endlessly bashing him for being too kind, too understanding towards people who haven’t earned it, too merciful, and encouraging others to do the same, much like how Adrien is bashed for believing the best in others, for reaching out to see whether they can come to an understanding or whether he can help get the other person to not be as awful, and also generally for encouraging kindness and mercy.
I guess history repeats, regardless of fandom.
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my-bobohu-blog · 8 years ago
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a very long and probably winded letter to myself
dear elaine,
life sux. LOLOLOL. i would say jk but it’s pretty true and that’s okay too. i’m glad i’m writing you a letter. it’s been a while, hasn’t it? we don’t have these talks too often. but i think it’s important we talk now. we’ve been going through a lot. 
i’m sorry that you’re unhappy. i know how much you loved su. i know how much you hate uw. i’m sorry. the universe isn’t always kind and it isn’t always fair. but you? you are strong. and you’re gonna make it through this. you always do and you know it. 
the depression is new though. sort of? i think it’s always been there... you’ve dealt with it in smaller waves. but recently it’s been feeling like a tsunami. how fun. are you doing okay dear? how are you? not drowning is a lot harder than it seems. you’ve never been a good swimmer. sigh. there’s strength though, you know? knowing that you’re going through this and dealing with this... knowing the depression is there. it lets you have these conversations to properly address it. it’ll get better, i promise. we’ll keep treading water, okay? don’t quit yet. 
you have good friends out there. i know there aren’t many and i know you break more than you make... but there’s still a few good ones. you’ll always have oshian. she’ll always be there for you and she’s one of the few (if not the only one) you can talk to about not being okay. you can be vulnerable with her... so be vulnerable. it’s okay. 
i know ryan and luis and jayson and... everyone else... have been disappointing on the friend line... but... it’s okay? just... don’t confide in them LOL. idk. not all friends are gonna be everything you need them to be. they’re their own persons. you can’t change that. and that’s okay too.
people do care about you, dear. there’s mom and pops, sister, fey, and others. people care. you do matter. i know there are times where it feels like you’re barely a person... but you’re still somebody to someone. just... keep existing, alright? we’ll do the best we can and we’ll survive each day somehow. 
there’s a future ahead for you. for us. sometimes two years seems too far away and sometimes two years seems like it’ll go by in a flash. i hope it’s the latter. but in two years, you’ll be graduated! hopefully with a double degree + minor but at the very least, a degree in mls. we’ll find a job at a hospital. maybe in state, maybe out. we’ll figure it out with time. massachusetts doesn’t seem so bad. i wouldn’t mind living there for a few years. that’ll be in 2019/2020. just a few years away. and then we’ll have a stable job and be living life. we’ll get bubby soon enough and be living a nice quiet yet fulfilling life. it sounds nice, right? movies every night (rewatching all the faves), cooking pastas on sunday, going to the farmers market on wednesday to buy fruits and flowers... it’s a soft life. that’s a life worth living. we can make it there. 
i’m proud of you, my little bean. i know these past few weeks have been especially hard... but you’re gonna be okay. you know how i know? because you’re elaine and you can do this. the emptiness doesn’t just go away. it’ll be back and it’ll come in waves as it always does. it’s okay if you end up drifting away a little. you’ll always find your way back. i’ll make sure of it. 
oh! the new hair suits you. it’s more... determined. less “need someone to complete me” and more “just trying to live my life” and it’s a good change. it feels stronger. it looks good on you. brings out a different attitude. 
i just want to remind you... that the person you are right now... no matter how dark and how lost and how hopeless she may be... you are still strong. you are still you and this is exactly who you need to be in this given time to get through everything you are going through now. revel in that strength. you may be surrounded by darkness, but you will find the light eventually. and if you can’t find it, you’ll create it. i know you will. 
sigh. i hope you feel a little better. a little less lost and a little more determined. i hope you find homes and anchors and safe spaces where you need them most. it’s gonna be okay, dear. you’re gonna be okay.
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