#i cried like a baby at izzy's death but thought it made a lot of sense

[thequinsaneeaterofapples]

I see so many posts about ofmd season 3. am I the only person in the universe who doesn't want one

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 3

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: 

--

Bucky tried for several hours to try and get you to open the door. You ignored him, not wanting to see him because you were so angry with him. He promised he would change and make more time for you, and then he leaves you in the middle of sex for her! Dot is his priority, as far as you’re concerned. You roll your eyes as you think about the “trauma” she had. You know she is using their past to manipulate him, and he is being stupid and letting her. Well now he must face the consequences for his actions. 

You stare up at the ceiling of your old room as you again, for the millionth time, hear the knock and pleads of your boyfriend from the other side of the door. “Please, baby. Open up. I’ll let you scream at me, you can even hit me. I know I deserve it. Just let me see you, please,” he begs.

God this is getting pathetic, you thought. You sigh and figure it’s time to give him an earful and some food for thought. You walk over to the door and unlock it, before opening it to reveal Bucky looking disheveled. He still has no shirt on, just his sweats from last night.

“What could you possibly want me to say to you, Bucky? You obviously made your choice in this. You are allowing Dot to manipulate you to keep you away from me. She wants you back, and it’s completely obvious. You say you want to prioritize me, but you prioritized her! I’ve tried to be calm and understanding to what she is going though, but enough is enough!” you yell, causing Bucky to flinch.

He opens his mouth to speak but you continue, “Ever since she found out that we are dating, she has made it her sole mission to separate us. Do you even care that your actions are killing me? Do you even care that I have cried myself to sleep so many times at night that I forgot how to fall asleep without crying? Do you even care that you are shattering my heart with your actions?!” you yell as tears fall down your face.

Bucky now has tears falling as well as he takes in your words. He didn’t realize just how bad he had made the situation. He needed to fix this. He couldn’t lose you. You were the best thing that has ever happened to him, and he can’t believe that has been so stupid. He walks up and wraps his arms around you, allowing you to cry in his chest. He buries his face in your neck and cries also.

You don’t know how long you have been standing in your doorway crying, but after some time you pull away. Bucky looks at you with sad eyes, “Tell me it’s not too late for me to fix this. I-I don’t want to lose you,” he says in a raspy voice.

You sigh and look down, “I think I need some time to think about things. You need to figure out where your priorities lie. I’ll stay in here for a bit until I’m ready and then we can talk, okay?” you ask.

It breaks your heart to see the distraught nature of Bucky’s face at your words, but you need him to understand how his actions have made you feel. He nods and quickly pulls you into a hug and then slots his lips on yours in a heated kiss. When you pull away he looks you dead in the eyes, “I’m going to make this right. I am going to show you that you, and you alone are what I want and need. That you are my top priority. I promise,” he says.

As he turns and walks away, you can’t help but say, “Don’t make promises you might not be able to keep.”

Bucky stops and looks at you sadly. He really messed up. He finally turns away and walks back to your shared room, that he will now live in alone. When he closes the door he slides down to the ground and openly sobs. How could he be so stupid. How could he not see what was happening. Now he might lose the love of his life because of his past. 

--

Dot is sitting in her room, feeling rather victorious. She overheard your argument with Bucky, and knows that now that you are separating yourself from Bucky, she will have a better chance to win him back. She sighs at the thought of having her love back with her. She was surprised that he didn’t take her back immediately, as she was his first love. Yes, ok so it was like 80 years ago, but I mean the fact that they were both together after all this time, must be fate.

Suddenly her door opens and shows the man she has been thinking about. Dot looks up and smiles, “Hey Jamie! What’s wrong?” she asks, deciding to pretend she is innocent and knows nothing. Always worked with guys. So easy.

“We need to talk, now,” Bucky says, anger evident in his voice. 

Dot’s smile disappears. She figured he would be upset, but not angry, and not at her. “What’s going on?” she asks with a furrow of her brow.

“This is over, Dot. Whatever you are trying to do, it’s done. I know you are dealing with a lot, but you need to start figuring it out for yourself. I am done putting you before Y/N,” he says.

Dot can’t help but roll your eyes. “Oh is she upset with you again Jamie? I mean I understand being slightly threatened by our past, but she obviously doesn’t trust you. If she can’t trust you, then she isn’t good enough for you. Maybe it’s time for you to cut your loses and return to me,” Dot said.

“She has every reason to be upset! I’ve neglected her! I just want to know... are those panic attacks that you have even real,” he asks.

Dot feigns being offended, “How dare you! Of course they are! Look at all I have gone through! I volunteer for something back in the 40′s and wake up in 2020′s. There is a lot of thoughts and feelings I feel and I don’t know how to process them! Is she saying I am lying?”

“I am saying you are lying. You always seem fine when we are together, but the moment I go to my girlfriend you start freaking out. You are trying to keep me away from her,” Bucky says, his voice raising.

“I feel comfortable with you, Jamie! I love you! Of course I feel better when you are near! It’s not my fault you tried to move on! But tell me this, if you don’t love me like you did, and you love her, why then did you constantly leave your girl for me? You obviously are still in love with me! So dump the girl and let’s be together!” Dot yelled.

“You’re crazy! Seriously you are delusional! You use me being a good friend and a gentleman against me to separate me from the woman that I truly love. Well it stops now! You need to get your ass in gear because it will take me nothing to turn you out of the compound to fend for yourself. If Steve and I can make it work, so can you. And your trauma is nothing compared to what we have gone through. So get yourself together and figure your life out. I am done playing these games with you!” Bucky says before leaving Dot’s room.

Dot sat there stunned at the last outburst. If Bucky thinks that she will go down without a fight to the death for him, then he doesn’t know her at all. Dot always gets what Dot wants. No matter the cost.

--

Bucky knocked on Natasha’s door, trying to calm himself down from his conversation with Dot. Nat opened the door and immediately tried to close it, “Nat please! I need your help,” Bucky begged.

She rolled her eyes and allowed him in. He sat there and told her everything about what happened last night, and this morning with Y/N and Dot. Natasha smacked him upside the head at least 4 times for being dumb. When he was done explaining everything he looked sadly at Natasha, “So will you help me? I have a plan that will allow Y/N the time she asked to think, while also showing her that she is my priority. She is the love of my life. Please?” Bucky begged.

Nat knew how much you and Bucky loved each other. She knew how happy you both were, so she agreed to help. Bucky laid out the plan to Nat and they both agreed to set it in motion. Bucky felt better already. He told off Dot, got your best friend to help him, and now all he needed was to win you back. He hoped he wasn’t too late.

--

Chapter 2 / Chapter 4

Dot is trouble! What plans does he have up her sleeve? Will the reader forgive Bucky? Does he deserve it? 🤷🏻‍♀️Feedback is appreciated!

Permanent Taglist:  @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @shinykoalacat @white-wolf1940 @jessyballet

Story Taglist: @afuckingshituniverse @wintrfld @cherries-and-berries @ilovemarvelanne1 @lilli2411 @minty-fiction @peakywitch @blue-mostacho @r0bbieshapiro

If I didn’t tag you after you requested, please let me know!

[awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands]

Guns N’Roses when they discover that their boyfriend/partner is bisexual:

A/N: Here’s the second part of my wonderful bi boy/ nb people. Remember that you are valid, loved and being bi is not something wrong!

TW: Mentions of sex, biphobia, mentions of addiction, overdose and death

Axl Rose

You were biting your nails nervously, waiting for Axl to arrive. You usually hate that your boyfriend was late, but this time you were glad, because you really needed to gather up your courage and tell him what you needed to.

You were bisexual, but he didn’t know that. You were too scared of upsetting him, to be misunderstood, it was already difficult for him to deal with all his internalized homophobia, due to his upbringing, what if he thought you were just a “fake gay boy” who went after him only for fame, but in reality he was attracted to girls? You would hurt him so bad, because in his eyes you betrayed his trust, you took advantage of his vulnerability and stabbed his heart.

He would have left you, and you couldn’t deal with that, your life without that wonderful redhead was so empty and sad, you’d be so hurt, your heart broken in so many little pieces. Your thoughts were so loud, that you didn’t hear Axl coming towards you.

“Sorry baby boy, I had to stay in the studio a little longer… are you okay?” He asked concerned.

“Ax… we need to talk.” You stated, biting your lips.

“Is it a bad news or a good news?” He tried to laugh, but his attempt fell flat.

You took a deep breath, your heart beating so fast that you just wanted to lie and finish it all, but you knew it had to be done.

“ I’m bisexual, I like girls too. But before you can say anything, I’m not a “fake gay” and not I’m not trying to be straight to please people.” “Babe…”

“ And I didn’t take advantage of you just to get famous and have money. I was so scared of telling you this, because I could never stay without you, please don’t leave me !” You were frenetic, but then you felt two hands cupping your face.

“Hey baby, calm down. I’m not angry, I’m just surprised, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I’ll love you and respect you regardless of whom you like. You’re my boyfriend, I could never leave the most important person in my life!” You looked you right in the eyes, a small smile on his face.

You really felt like you could have cried of joy, it felt so good to be able to get ridden of this weight and to have Axl still at your side. You kissed him, and he brought you into a hug, playing with your hair.

“I love you so much Axl, I know it is hard for you, so it means a lot!” You said.

“Yeah, I want to try my hardest because you deserve the best, ya know?” He said, nervous but also happy.

You squeezed his hand tightly, making him smile.

 Slash

You were sitting on a beat up couch in the backstage. Your boyfriend Slash was showering and as much as you loved to shower together, you knew what would happen if you stepped there, so you decide to spare the boy to hear everything and just hung observe all the roadies working and people talking.

After a couple of minutes, you felt someone sitting down next to you, probably your boy, but before you could turn around and throw yourself in Slash’s arms, you heard a female voice speaking.

“Hey there, beautiful!” She said, flashing you a smile. Probably, she was a groupie.

You looked her up and down, and you had to admit she was very pretty.  Of course, you didn’t feel any romantic feeling towards her, but you could still appreciate beauty when you saw it.

“Do you like what you see? I didn’t know you were into girls too, sugar! I just thought you liked guys since you were Slash’s partner, as he calls you.”

You were no-binary, and you came out to Slash one month after dating. He started to refer to you in the right way and using the right pronouns, then he asked people to call you his partner, even if he didn’t out you.

“Yeah, I don’t discriminate, you know. Even if I like my boyfriend very much, thank you!” You replied, but she seemed to ignore you, sitting on your lap.

“I believe Slash won’t oppose if we propose him a threesome.” She whispered with a smirk.

You felt someone clearing his throat.

“They are my person sweetie, so move on!” He said firmly, and the girl hopped off your lap and got out of the door, still flashing his mischievous smile.

You started panicking, because you had no idea how long Slash was there and what he heard or saw. Oh God, what if he thought that you were a cheater? What if he heard that you are bi?

“Slash… I-I’m bisexual. I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you about this before, but I was scared that you could believe at all the stereotypes, and leave me. Also, I was scared that you thought I was “too much” because “c’mon you can’t be no-binary and bi, too!” Your breathing was getting faster, and you were really afraid to start crying, but Slash held your hands.

“You can always talk to me baby! I love you just as you are, and I’m proud you decided to tell me. I’d never leave you or believe what they say. You are my wonderful partner and I’ll keep loving you until the end!”

You kissed him with passion, running a hand in his curls, and thinking how lucky you were to have him.

Duff Mckagan

Being a bassist and opening for the band that your bassist boyfriend played in was the best thing ever!

You and Duff were pretty reserved with your relationship, and you never felt the need to talk about your past relationships, so your boyfriend didn’t know you were bi and you had been with girls too. You were too scared to come out to him, and make thing awkward between you two and your bands, plus the past partners were not all supportive, and that make you quite afraid that he wouldn’t love you anymore.

You were doing an interview with a rock magazine, Duff was also there, but he already did his, so he was there as moral support. It was going good, the interview didn’t ask you too personal questions, well until now.

“Duff isn’t the first musician that you have dated, though. Before him you dated a famous singer in a girl’s band, is that right?” She questioned pleased.

You felt the world stopping, while your heart started to beat faster. Too scared to look at your boy, you fixed your gaze at the floor, trying to calm yourself, because your brain was shouting at you how Duff would hate you, leave you forever and never come back.

“Yeah, I dated her, but we didn’t get along. I don’t want to talk about it and I think our time is up.” You voice cracked a bit, but there was no way that you would let her know how her words hit you.

She seemed upset, but she left anyway.

“I thought you said that you never dated someone just t pretend to not like boys.” Duff said surprised, but also hurt.

“I didn’t do that, I’m bisexual so I like girls too, and I thought that I loved her, but it didn’t go that well.” Your eyes darted anywhere but to the blond bassist, while you tried to fight the tears.

You were not ready to see him walk away, and you tried to prepare for the worst, but Duff simply thumbed away one of your tears.

“Don’t cry babe, God please I hate seeing you like that. I promise I’m not angry or anything, just why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I was scared that you would react like she did when I told her, that you would think of me as a cheater, a fraud, someone who can’t decide and I didn’t want you to leave me, I love you too much!”

Duff sat down and put you on his lap.

“You are my baby boy, and I could never be pissed at you, or think all those awful things. Nothing is changed between us, I still love you and I’ll support you no matter what, even if groupies will be after you even more!” He joked and you managed to smile.

He stroked your cheek and kissed your nose, while bringing you closer and keeping soothing you.

Izzy Stradlin

Your eyes shoot open, your heart beat fast as the images of your nightmare were still impressed in your memory. Everything felt so real, your mind was still having troubles realizing that what you had seen was not real, or at least it was not happening right now.

You tried you’re best to not wake Izzy up, who was sleeping next to you, but you felt way too anxious and scared to stay still, so eventually your boyfriend woke up due your trembling.

“Hey babe, you okay?” He asked sleepy, his elbows on the bed as he sat on it.

You shook your head, feeling worse and worse, so much that you couldn’t even talk and you just wanted to cry. It’s okay, it was not real. It was not now.

“What’s wrong? You can tell me, it’s fine!” He reassured you, he gently rub your back.

Usually you and Izzy didn’t have secrets between each other, in fact you came out to him as no-binary, and he totally accepted you, never stopped to show you his support and addressing you in the right one. However, you kept away from him two things: that you were bisexual and that your ex-girlfriend died of overdose soon after your breakup.

That was what the dream was about, but of course you couldn’t tell him without coming out in the process, so what were you going to choose? He thought of being rejected by him, made you even sicker, because Izzy was your boyfriend, your rock and you couldn’t be without him. You were about to lose him so many times due alcohol and drugs, you couldn’t bear it if it was your fault this time.

But that the same time, you knew how much he hated lies, and how this all thing was eating you alive.

“I-I had a girlfriend some time ago, she was a good girl, but she started to get addicted to heroin. I tried to help her as much as I could, to stay at her side but the relationship got too toxic to handle, so we decided to break up. S-She died soon after due to an overdose.” It felt good to let it out, but at the same time it was terrifying thinking about the consequences.

“Wait you said girlfriend?”

“Yes Izzy, I’m bi. And I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you! I’ve seen her fading away more and more, until she was gone, and the same thing was happening to you. I’m so glad you are clean now, because I could never stand having you away from me, so please don’t leave me!” You were begging him, with tears in your eyes.

Izzy hold your hands, giving you a smile.

“Darling, I love you and I could never leave you or be ashamed of who you are. I’m so grateful for having you here at my side, helping me stay sober, and I promise you nothing will tear us apart, okay?” He said firmly, squeezing your hands.

You put yourself into his arms, your head against his chest until his heart beat made you fall asleep.

Steven Adler

You were chilling on the sofa, watching some old sitcom on the TV, when Steven entered the room, a confused look on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something for you but he didn’t know how or what, so you decide to leave him think.

“Babe why did you have a pin or your jacket with written “bi” on it?” He asked you, unsure but curious at the same time.

You started to shake as your breathing was getting heavier, you were totally panicking. You turned off the television and tried to calm yourself down. You didn’t think he would be able to catch on it, it was a cute little pin, hardly to read from far, and Steven never showed interest into seeing what it was about, until now.

Now probably your secret was out: yes, you were bisexual. You never told your boyfriend that, but still you felt a sort of pride in your identity, even if you were closeted, you still wanted a tiny bit of freedom, and that pin was it.

You’ve never told Steven about your bisexuality, because you were afraid to lose him or that he wouldn’t understand you, usually boys were wither gross about it, or they thought you were just gay. If Steven reacted like that, not  only your heart would be broken, but you also couldn’t stay with him anymore.

“I know what bi means. Are you bi honey?” He sounded hurt, probably because you haven’t told him before.

“I’m s-sorry. I-I was scared that you could g-get angry at me and leave me, like people did in the past!”. You started crying, reality hitting hard, the possibility of Steven getting away becoming scarier every second.

“I love you sweets, I could never leave you, not when you own my heart, it beats for you!” Your boyfriend said, grabbing your hand, trying to calm you down a bit.

You left out a sigh of relief, while you tried to stop crying.

“Bi means that you like both right? Sorry I lied when I said I know it for sure!” He giggled, a bit embarrassed.

You nodded with a smile, then you hugged him very tightly, still not believing that you were out now and he was okay with it.

“Thank you so much baby, this means a lot to me!” You whispered into his ear.

“You are my heart, I could never stay without you, and I’m proud of who you are!” He replied, kissing your lips gently.

[deathonyourtongue]

Falling Again

Summary: Life is cruel, but the mind is crueler. Pairing: AU!Henry Cavill x OFC  Word Count: 5.2K Warnings: Angst. Loads of tears. I apologize in advance. A/N: @luna-aestas​ requested angst in the same vein as the Welcome Home series, along with some unrequited love. What’s worse than unrequited love? Assuming it’s unrequited. This will probably end up being another series. You’ve been warned. 

Everyone told him that the pain would pass with time. That with each day, the wound would scar over and the dull ache in his chest would go away, that things like work and social events would be less awkward, and that even alone time would normalize again. 

They were all wrong. 

The truth was that it had been five years, and he still felt the pain like a red-hot poker searing through his heart each time he woke to live another day. 

The knocking on the door was never loud enough to hide the sound of her sniffles, and though sleep always threatened to drag him back under, it was her soft voice that always made him sit up. 

“Papa? I had a nightmare.” Her voice, tear-filled and scared, always broke his heart, and though there were days when he needed an extra moment to hide his own tears, he never denied his daughter entrance.

“Come in, sweetie,” Henry called, barely getting the words out before he heard the knob turning. He watched as she padded in, taking extra care to close the door behind her. With her otter plushie tucked under her arm, she tiptoed to the bed, looking up at her father, fresh tears tracks painting her ruddy cheeks. 

“What did you dream about, pumpkin?” He asked, his voice as soft as his daughter’s as he picked her up and lifted her into what had--over time--become her spot. He was shocked when the mere question had her whimpering, her little arms finding his neck and holding on tight as she cried into his shoulder. His face broke into one of sympathy and pain, his heart breaking any time his daughter cried so earnestly.

"We were at the park and I got l-lost! I ran the wh-whole park and f-finally found you, but-but you were a-asleep and wou-wouldn't wake up! J-just like g-grams!" She keened, his shirt soaked with her tears as she shook like a leaf in his arms.

Cradling her head against his chest, Henry smoothed down her hair over and over, his own eyes filling with unshed tears as he realized, in that moment, how much his mother-in-law’s death had affected his little girl. His mother-in-law had been far too young to go, but had lived long enough to become attached at the hip with his daughter. Her death hadn't come as a surprise to either of them, but holding her now, he could tell that his daughter hadn't been given a fair shake at grieving.

He'd taken her to the funeral, not because he thought it was the right thing to do, but because he had no other choice. Babysitters were exorbitant luxuries in NYC, and everyone he knew was either going to be in attendance, or tied up with work. Technically, he couldn't even afford the day off for the funeral, but his boss was self-servingly magnanimous and had paid him time and a half, knowing full well it would put Henry in his pocket for another year. She'd been quiet as a mouse during the ceremony, the eulogies, and the procession to view the body (which he'd left her in her seat for). Even the ride home, he realized, had been a silent one, and for all the grieving he'd done when he thought she wasn't looking, Henry had never seen his daughter so much as throw a tantrum to try and express herself.

Now, holding her as she wailed softly, her grip on him a vice that wouldn't release until she slept, Henry realized that the nightmares she'd been having were her mind's way of processing what had happened, and that, like her father, she was afraid of losing everyone she loved.

Kissing her forehead, Henry tried to think of a way to make her understand that he wasn't going to die the way her grandmother, and her mother both had, but he knew his daughter well enough to know that promising he'd live to a ripe old age wouldn't cut it.

"That sounds like a scary dream, pumpkin, but papa's not going anywhere, okay? Grams was very sick, the kind of sick that only really happens to people that are much, much, older than Papa. Grams was sick for a long, long, time. Ever since you were a baby. Papa just went to the doctor and he said I was in perfect health. I don't want you to worry about Papa falling asleep and not waking up, okay? I’m going to be around for a long, long time. Might even be around when you've got white hair and wrinkles everywhere, okay? Papa works out and eats healthy every day so that I can be around as long as possible. So don't worry, alright? I’m not going anywhere."

Sophia sniffled and whimpered a little more, but finally nodded, understanding what he was saying, even if she didn't 100% believe it quite yet. "I love you, papa," she whispered, giving him a squeeze. He kissed her temple and nodded. "I love you too, sweetheart. More than you'll ever know."

"I won't worry about it unless you go bald like grams or mama," she whispered, the decision one that made her content and relaxed in his arms, Sophia never to know just how much the simple reasoning shattered her father's heart.

Henry waited until she was completely asleep to tip his head up to the ceiling, his own tears silent and desperate as he clung to what little family had left.

There was very little he paid attention to at work aside from work itself. He couldn’t afford distraction; medical bills, funerary costs, utilities, rent, and groceries all required money, and working an entry-level job was barely cutting it, even with mandatory overtime. Still, there was one distraction he couldn’t seem to shake, despite the guilt that came over him each time he realized it was happening again. 

His distraction had a name and a devastating smile much like his wife’s. In fact, there was a lot about Zoe that reminded him of his Izzy. At first glance it was hard to see, given the differences in eye color, nose and face shape, but there was something about her mannerisms, her energy, and her kindness that evoked the love of his life. Henry couldn’t help but watch her whenever she came to speak to one of their colleagues, and at lunch they exchanged polite conversation. That was the extent of it, though. Henry knew that a woman like Zoe, a woman who radiated such brightness and joy, would never be with a man like him, a hulled husk ready to be crumbled into dust at any given moment. 

There were days however, where even Zoe’s brand of sunshine couldn’t break the storm clouds that seemed to follow Henry wherever he went, days where the world crushed him just that little bit further. As Henry took a seat at his desk, he knew today would be one of those days, if his morning had been any indication.

He had cried himself to sleep, if the heaviness of his eyes was anything to go by, but as the sun crept through the crooked blinds of his bedroom, Henry remembered the events of the night before, and in peeking down, found Sophia pretending to be asleep.

"Rise and shine, pumpkin, it's time for school," he murmured, peppering her face with gentle kisses, Henry angling his head before blowing a small raspberry on the top of her arm.

"Papa, I don't feel good," she said as she swatted his face away, her eyes staying closed--Henry's first indication that she was faking it.

"You don't feel good? Well, let's see," he kept his tone soft and neutral, both of them knowing this game all too well, both intent on playing it anyway. The back of his hand pressed to her forehead before he scooted down to press his ear to her tummy. Coming back up, Henry gave her a half-shrug. "You don't have a fever, and your tummy’s not rumbling...Is it the kind of 'not feeling good' where you just want to stay home?" Fixing her with a soft, 'tell the truth' gaze, Henry waited for her answer.

"I don't wanna go to school. Wanna stay home with you."

"But papa's not staying home, I have to go to work, sweetheart," he tried to reason with her, Henry surprised when, for the second time in less than 24 hours, Sophia’s lower lip started to quiver.

"But I want you to stay home! You're always so tired and so sad, papa! Want you to stay home so we can nap and have tea, and so you can be happy!" 

Sophia's reasoning hit him like a truck at an intersection, Henry feeling his heart stop for a few beats while he tried to process what she'd just said. He'd thought he'd always been careful to smile and be upbeat around her, but obviously his little one had the gift of stealth and had caught him in private moments, when he thought she wasn't looking.

"What makes you think Papa's not happy?" he asked, trying to keep his face neutral and his eyes from watering.

"I hear you crying every day, papa! And when you talk to Uncle Dom, you always say about how you're worried about money, and about how bills are piling up. At night, you say mama’s name over and over, like you're having a bad dream."

Tears spilled over as he listened to his six year old be so observant, so astute, and so heartbreakingly no nonsense in her reasoning. Chin falling to his chest, he only managed to hold back his sobs, crying as quietly as he could, because, as seemed to be the case whenever she really watched something and made up her mind about it, Soph was right.

The shrill ring of his cell phone cut through the otherwise-quiet moment, and Henry answered it without looking, not realizing that it was his sister-in-law, Imogen on the other end.

"H-Hello?" he stammered, the grief clearly heard in his voice, even through the shortest word possible.

"Henry? Darling, is everything alright? Nevermind all that, I’ll be over in a jiff."

Wiping his eyes, Henry sighed heavily, getting up to unlock the door to his ramshackle apartment, knowing Gen would be there in less than five. Though it was nice having her and her husband, Dom so close, there were times when Henry wished they lived just a little further up town. Henry hadn't been expecting the hug, but the moment Gen was through the door and her arms were around him, it was all he could do to keep from sobbing. 

“Are you certain you’re okay to go into work like this?” Gen asked softly, feeling a sense of dejavu come over her. It was a conversation they’d had often enough, both before and after her sister’s death, and it had yet to end differently. Shoulders shaking, Henry nodded, the words that followed being the opposite of what anyone wanted to hear.

"I d-don't have a choice," he whispered, knowing full well that any slip-up would cost him his job, and that being without income, even for a few days, would spell disaster for his and Sophia's lives.

"Aunt Gen, make him stay home and sleep!" Soph said quietly with urgency in her voice, the little girl knowing how frayed her father was, even if he fought it tooth and nail.

"Soph, sweetheart, Papa has to go to work. It's not like school, I can't miss a day just because I don't feel like coming in," he did his best to explain it to her gently, Henry crouching down, arms outstretched for her.

Reluctantly, she came, and Henry wrapped her up tight, kissing her head over and over. "You're going to have the best time with Aunt Gen. You always do. You'll go shopping and have lunch at her place, or maybe even help her and Aunt Beth make a cake! Or you two could go to the pool, or maybe even go see Uncle Dom at the bookstore. You're going to have loads of fun and before you know it, papa will be there to pick you up."

Though he managed to keep his voice steady, Henry's free hand covered his eyes, the age-old shame he felt as a father who couldn't provide everything his daughter needed and wanted coming back the second he realized he couldn't even give her spending money for anything.

Wiping his eyes hard, he pulled back and fixed his daughter with a beaming smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I want you to tell me all about the fun you had today once we get home, okay? Now, go on, you're wasting time hanging around here with your old gaffer, when you could be having pancakes for breakfast with your favorite auntie."

He winked, Henry’s smile growing just a little more when Soph's eyes lit up. It was rare she got more than a bowl of oatmeal in the morning, as groceries tended to be kept to the cheapest items that provided the most nutritional value possible. If the military had taught him anything, it was how to stretch food, and he did it without even thinking sometimes; without taking into account that a treat here and there would be good for his little girl.

Standing, he went for his wallet, eyes on the floor, jaw clenched, and face burning red with shame as he handed Gen a five, giving up what he'd budgeted for lunch for the week, wanting his daughter to at least have something on her day out with her aunt.

Henry turned immediately so that Gen didn't have the chance to put it back in his hand, moving across the room to grab his phone and call in to Sophia's school, not wanting to get the call later at work, where he wouldn't be able to answer it.

"Hi, Mary, yes, this is Sophia’s father, Henry. Soph's not going to be coming in today. She's feeling rather poorly, so I'm going to keep her home. Okay, thank you. Have a great day," he spoke softly, making silly faces at Soph while talking, grateful to get a silent laugh from her, his daughter knowing better than to jeopardize her day off by giggling loud enough to be heard by the school secretary.

"All right, pumpkin, come ‘ere. You have fun and listen to your auntie okay? No running off, no being a silly monkey in a crowded place. I love you, have fun, and I'll see you tonight," Henry said softly as he hugged Sophia tight, holding on just a little longer than usual and wishing for all the world he could call in.

“You always have a choice,” Gen reminded him, her face holding sympathy for the man who’d single-handedly been responsible for her sister’s happiness, especially in the last few months of her life. “You should stay for dinner. Dom’s making his famous Kitchen Sink Pasta,” she added after a moment, noticing the sallowness of Henry’s skin, how the hollows of his cheeks were becoming more pronounced.

To Gen, Henry and Izzy would forever be soulmates, an insurmountably perfect couple, but her sister’s request that he find someone new after her passing weighed heavier and heavier on Gen’s mind with every passing year. If Heaven did exist, Imogen imagined her sister was tearing her hair out with impatience, or sobbing without end at seeing how life had panned out for her husband after her parting.

"Easy for you to say," Henry murmured, giving Gen a kind smile, not needing to remind her that her situation was far different than his, given her huge family, and the fact that she ran her own business. The more Gen looked at him with sympathy, the more shame he felt, and while he knew she was only trying to do right by him, it only made him feel worse about his circumstances.

"Don't count on me for dinner. Dom's been picking up Soph for a reason. I probably won’t make it out of there until at least nine," he spoke softly and between his teeth, wanting to make it as garbled as possible so that Sophia wouldn't be upset. One look in her eyes however, and Henry knew his daughter had understood every word.

"You two have fun. I'll see you ladies later," Henry smiled, seeing them to the door and watching until they'd disappeared down the stairs before closing and sliding down against the frame, his tears free to fall in privacy.

Connected to her father by an invisible thread that latched her heart to his, Sophia forced Gen to stop midway down the stairs, her ears perked, head tilted towards the general direction of her home.

"Papa's crying again," she stated plainly, her own chin falling to her chest, the softest, saddest little  sigh escaping her. "He hasn't been happy in a very, very long time. Wish I could fix him. Wish I could make him stay home, aunt Gen. The only reason I wanted to stay home was to stay with him."

Sniffling, she wiped her eyes, looking up at her aunt with questioning eyes. "Do you think it would be easier for papa if I gave him all the money in my piggy bank? Would he be able to stay home and sleep then? Is there a way that we can make the bills stop coming? Stop them from making papa so worried and sad?"

Gen did her best to keep her face neutral as bent down to hug Sophia tightly, feeling the waves of anguish roll off her. Her heart broke for her niece, knowing the little girl was as empathetic as her father, and that at her age, emotions were always felt more deeply.

“Tell you what, why don’t we go back in there and see if we can’t convince your father to stow away with us one more time? I think he could do with some pancakes as well, don’t you?” Knowing she was pushing her luck, but also knowing Sophia would spend the day withdrawn if she didn’t try, Gen opened the door, hoping once, just once, Henry would say yes.

“So Soph and I decided that you don’t have a choice. You’re coming with us today, for pancakes and books and cake, alright?”

He’d had just enough time to wipe his eyes and stand up by the time the door opened and Sophia ran to him full tilt, hugging him as tight as she could manage for such a little girl.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking up at Gen in concern before her words clicked everything into place. Though he kept a smile on for Sophia, he couldn’t stop from fixing Gen with a look.

"Girls, much as I'd like to join you, I have to go to work. Like I said, pumpkin, I can't just skip a day because I feel like it. Papa's has to go to work." Henry was tender with his daughter, never once wanting to be the one that made her upset, but also needing her to understand that his world didn't work as easily as her's did.

"Give papa just a second to have a word with Aunt Gen, alright? Then you two can get to those pancakes," he nodded, pressing a kiss to each cheek and giving Sophia a squeeze, before motioning for Gen to follow him into his bedroom.

With the door closed and locked behind them, Henry ran a hand through his hair, blowing out a sigh. "I appreciate what you're trying to do. I really do. But I can't skip work, or I'll lose my job. Furthermore, Gen, if I miss a day, I literally can't make rent or groceries this month. I cannot skip today, especially when I’m being paid overtime. I'm sorry, I r-really am, and believe me, this is k-killing me, okay? But I c-can't. So please, don't get her h-hopes up like that. It's not fair--"

Turning his back to Gen, he curled in on himself until he was crouching down, hands covering his head as though it were a bomb drill. Using his forearms to muffle the whimpers, he stayed down there until he felt his composure return. Wiping his eyes with the same ferocity he always did whenever he knew someone had seen him crying, Henry stood up and gave her a gentle smile.

"Please make it a day she'll never forget, okay? Do that for me? Please?"

It wasn't lost on him, in that moment of vulnerability, that he'd yet been able to make it to any of his daughter's events during her first year in kindergarten. None of the little parties, show-and-tells, or anything of that nature had seen him in attendance, but instead, had been graciously covered--and recorded for later viewing--by Dom, who had been mistaken for Sophia's father more than once.

Wracked with guilt and shame over his failings as a parent, Henry looked down at the floor, destroyed through and through. There were a lot of things missing from his life that most took for granted; a couch, Netflix, sometimes electricity. But it was the intangible things that ate him up and made him feel like true scum. Missing Sophia’s events, not picking her up from school every day, and often being too tired to do more than what was absolutely necessary for her when he finally came home, were all things that caused him deep shame and often-sleepless nights.

He waited for Gen to give up, to say she understood, and to leave in order to hopefully give his beloved daughter a day she'd not soon forget, Henry knowing that today, no matter how easy the calls turned out to be, would be hell.

"You were supposed to be here by six, Cavill!!"

Henry's head snapped up when he heard his boss' voice booming down the hall.

"I'm scheduled to start at nine, sir," he replied, trying to maintain his cool as he fumbled with trying to pull his schedule from his desk drawers while putting himself in a code so that calls wouldn’t come in automatically. He was certain his schedule was right and that he hadn’t switched with anyone.

Even as he tore through his papers, a write up sheet was laid on his desk, Henry finding the printout before turning and looking up at Jerry, utterly confused and more than a little appalled.

"You were supposed to start at six, you showed up at nine. You're late, so I'm docking your pay." Henry's eyes hardened as he held up the sheet of paper, handing it to Jerry.

"I was scheduled for nine. I logged in at 8:58 am."

"I wanted you here for six, I told you on Friday. Sign the form and get back on the phones."

Henry tried to wrack his brains for any important conversations he'd had with his boss, anything that could help him defend himself, but nothing came. Friday had been as ordinary as any other day.

Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Henry signed the paper, knowing full well he was giving away half his paycheck and with it, any chance at getting rent paid on time.

Sick to his stomach, he looked at the clock, then at the picture of Sophia he kept tucked in the back of his cubicle. "I'm sorry, pumpkin. Should've just stayed home today," he murmured, wiping at his eyes to keep fresh tears at bay. 

By lunch time, Henry was beginning to feel light-headed with hunger. Knowing he’d given his lunch budget to Gen, he settled for a black coffee and took his usual seat, intent on shutting out the world, if only for a few minutes. 

“Uh oh, *someone’s had a rough morning,” Zoe grinned as she came in, setting her lunch bag down on the counter before putting the container inside into the microwave to heat. Moving over to where Henry sat slumped over, she rubbed his shoulders gently, surprised when she felt nothing but tension beneath her fingers. 

“Everything okay? I heard Jerry muttering in his office all morning about you being late, which I found unusual, given you were here on time.” 

“According to him, I should have been here at six. I think he has it out for me, or is planning on letting me go,” Henry answered, finally lifting up his head to look at Zoe. He wasn’t surprised when she gave him a double-take; he knew he looked like roadkill, her expression simply confirmed it. 

“Have you been sleeping alright? You look like you could use at least 24 hours’ worth,” She commented softly, Henry scrubbing a hand over his face before taking a sip of his coffee. 

“No rest for the wicked, isn’t that the saying? Soph hasn’t been sleeping all that well, so I wake whenever she has a nightmare.” Though it wasn’t the full truth, it wasn’t an outright lie. Henry simply omitted the parts he knew no one at work would care about.

Zoe grimaced in sympathy, getting up and fetching her food before sitting down across from him. Whatever was in the container smelled wonderful, and were it not for the coffee boring a hole in his gut, it would have been pure torture. 

“I bet she sleeps snug as a bug in a rug once she’s been comforted though, huh?” Zoe grinned, taking a bite of sauce-covered ravioli with impeccable manners. Like him, Imogen’s family, and Dom, Zoe was a British expat, having come to NYC to fulfill a career in fashion, but having had her dreams detoured instead. Unlike the rest of them, Henry had landed on his ass in the Big Apple, with all his prospects falling through within the first year of him being in the country. He managed to stay afloat until his paperwork was in place, but no matter how often he applied to jobs in his field, nothing ever came through. Then Izzy got sick and the downward spiral began for good. 

“That she does,” he agreed, rubbing his face and managing a smile for Zoe’s sake. Finishing his coffee, he allowed himself to daydream for a moment. He only ever allowed himself to think of what a date would be like with Zoe, and it was always the same thing. A bright blue sky, good food, and a trek through one of the city’s smaller and more interesting museums. Nothing more, nothing less. More than anything, he just wanted her company. 

“Earth to Henry!” Zoe’s sweet, musical voice brought him back to reality, and looking at her, he couldn’t help but blush. “You were on a different planet. Time to get back to it, sleepyhead,” she mused, tugging one of his curls playfully before letting it spring back up.

“Sorry. Just a zombie today, I s’pose,” Henry answered, looking at his watch and seeing he only had two minutes before he had to be back on the phone.

“I’ll see you later. No falling asleep at your desk, eh?” Zoe grinned, giving him a wink as she stood to wash out her container, her heels clicking on the floor in a way that had Henry momentarily entranced. 

Nine o'clock came as quickly as molasses. By the time he’d stamped out, Henry’s vision was blurred, and he was slightly dizzy. He was careful as he walked home, staying closer to the buildings than the car-lined roads, and waiting for the crosswalks to give him the right of way instead of jaywalking like he normally did.

By the time he hit Dom and Gen's block, he was swaying a little, beyond starving. He hoped the goodbyes wouldn't take too long and he and Sophia could be on their way. Dinner would be something quick, easy, and carb-loaded to hopefully keep his roiling stomach from protesting too much.

Taking the stairs slowly, Henry knocked on the door, leaning against the frame and dying to see his little girl.

“PAPA!!!!” Sophie called excitedly, rushing to Henry with the biggest smile on her face. Though she loved her extended family, it was clear that she’d missed him as much as he’d missed her.

"Oh, my sweet, sweet girl. Papa missed you a ton!" Henry grinned, dropping into a squat to hold her close, his body swaying a little at the sudden movement.

“We had so much fun today and I made you dinner and I made cake and Aunt Gen said you can eat here while it’s still hot and I missed you, papa!!” The second part came out in a single, muffled rush of air, a confirmation of the type of day Henry’d hoped she’d had. At hearing about dinner, he pulled back, fixing Soph with a playful, narrow-eyed smile before raising a knowing eyebrow up at Gen. 

"Did you now? Did you make it allll by yourself?" he asked, tickling Sophia’s sides, Henry tugging her close once more to press kiss after kiss to her face.

When his legs began to get pins and needles, Henry reluctantly let her go. Standing, he tripped over his own feet, Henry’s swaying combined with his clumsiness making it seem as though he were drunk.

"Everything alright, mate?" Dom asked as Henry finally came in through the door,  Dom hugging his brother-in-law a little tighter than normal, concern etched in his features.

"Yeah, yeah, just a very long day. Glad to be back with the munchkin and to apparently have dinner made for me…Gen," Henry spoke the last part with emphasis, shooting her a half-smile and a wink, not in the least mad at her for making him dinner. If anything, he was relieved he wouldn't have to wait until they were home.

He didn't even flinch as Soph crawled up onto his lap as his plate was set in front of him, Henry crooking his finger at Gen before she could leave, a warm kiss pressed to her cheek in thanks.

"Thank you for doing this today. I owe you big time," he murmured, cupping the back of her head for a moment, Henry wanting her to be certain that he meant every word.

“Just remember, you’re not alone in this,” Gen whispered back, her expression tight and filled with an emotion that was both intense and unreadable, a cross between anguish and worry.

“Hands off my wife, pal,” Dom joked to bring some levity to the room, his hands coming down on Henry’s shoulders with a friendly shake. Henry’s mind set out to hurt him, reminding him of the many daydreams of Zoe, of their lunchtime conversations, long enough to make him flinch in his seat, the thoughts feeling like blasphemy.  

There was once a time where he’d come back with a quip of his own, something quick-witted to keep the room laughing just a little longer. As it stood however, Dom’s words were just a painful reminder that there was only one married man in the room. Putting on a brave face, Henry managed to look the part, but his voice betrayed him, coming out soft and broken.

“You got a good one, mate, that’s for sure, but I got the angel.”

[vraisang-a]

this is part two of that gigantic one shot/meta about Maryse & the kiddos. I really had so much fun writing this, and I might come up with, hopefully shorter, snippets of their lives soon

     As the years went by and tension between her and Robert grew, Maryse turned colder, the colour of her eyes resembling a stormy ocean getting angrier and angrier. But her love for her children remained just as pure and just as strong. Still, she had had to harden them, to make them into the perfect warriors ― and if after every harsh lesson, every critique, she would sneak into their respective bedrooms and whisper apologies into their ears as she cried, neither of them had to know.

     Catching Robert in bed with Annemarie was still one of the most painful memories she had from her past, maybe because her marriage rune had sizzled against her skin ― their promise to the Angel being broken. But she would recall with a sadistic hint of satisfaction the terrified look on Robert's face, because Maryse apparently hadn't reacted how he expected her to. Instead of screaming and attacking him, she had done something far worse. For the first time since they had met all those years ago in the Academy, Maryse had stared him down. Despite her height, she had looked down on him like he was more repulsive than a Shax demon.

      Maryse had given the same look to Annemarie, her blue eyes burning as she stared at the woman. But while her gaze had made Robert freeze, it caused the petite female next to him to flinch as if she had been struck. And, satisfied, Maryse had gone back to the Institute.

      Maxwell had been conceived in the fight months after Maryse's discovery. Robert had been desperate to save the family name, and he had tried to talk to her, but she had exploded. And the result had been careless and angry sex, after which Maryse had risen from their bed and uttered words that Robert would never forget.

     "This was a mistake and it will never happen again. You're lucky Alexander and Isabelle are everything to me. They are the only reason I won't destroy your family name." And with those acidic blue eyes, she stared him down again and left.

     She had waited as long as she could to tell him she was pregnant again, and got the same reaction she had gotten the first two times. That warm glint in his hazel eyes, the goofy-looking smile on his face. That time, however, Maryse didn't allow him to hug her. She had no longer needed his support. She had been 25, Alec and Isabelle were 9 and 7 respectively.

     In a family with such elemental personalities as theirs, where the ocean prevailed but the fire burned bright even as the earth seemed to falter beneath their feet, Maxwell Lightwood came as the gentle wind. Playful and ambitious, but shy, almost hesitant to engage. And yet he was so loved, so loved by each and every single member of his family. Her children doted on their infant brother, begging her to allow them to help her; and she let them.

      Max had brought balance to their family. Robert decided to stay for the sake of the young boy; for the sake of the elated glint in Isabelle's dark eyes, for the sake of easing the tension in Alec's still very small shoulders. Things were alright for a while, and she stored those peaceful almost mundane moments fondly in her mind: taking turns tending to the baby at night, training Isabelle and Alec along with Hodge as Robert kept to his duties as Head of the Institute, going out on missions and hunting demons.

      But then the news of Michael Wayland's death reached them, and the Clave approached them with a request ― an order disguised with over-politeness and false smiles that had Maryse's blood boiling; but, like the perfect wife she was, she had stood by her husband, smiling back and agreeing to take in Michael's son.

      And that's when, at 26, Maryse gained another son. Jonathan Christopher Wayland arrived at their institute and all she could think was ― he looks nothing like Michael. But that look in his golden eyes, that look of a child starved of love and affection, had her instincts screaming at her. It didn't take long for her to grow to see the golden boy as her son, to see him as family. And when he delightedly accepted the nickname she bestowed upon him, her mind began to see him not as Jonathan Christopher Wayland, but as Jace Lightwood, her son. Another one of her babies.

      Jace fit in with them remarkably well, but Jace was...different. He wasn't calm like the ocean, nor lively like fire, he wasn't steady like the earth nor playful and timid like the wind. Jace was bright ― his presence almost blinding, he highlighted the beauty of the ocean, blended with the fire, and healed the earth while playing in the wind. He had been meant to be with them and Maryse would fight for him no matter what. He was as much her child as were Alec, Izzy, and Max.

      Her thoughts blended together. Her tea was probably cold and undrinkable by now, but she enjoyed reminiscing from time to time.

      "....Um?"

      She had the impression someone was calling her, but she was so deep in her memories it was hard to be sure. When the voice echoed again, closer this time, Maryse blinked her impossibly blue eyes down and saw three pairs of eyes staring up at her: sapphire blue, molten gold, and russet brown, glittering up at her as they used to when they were children.

      They were all crouched in front of her, Isabelle in the middle, her hands gently resting on Maryse's knees. "Are you okay, Mummy?" Isabelle asked gently, her voice almost careful, eyes wide and pleading. Maryse could see the glint of worry in her children's eyes.

      "You've been here for hours, mum, is everything alright?" her eldest asked, a frown on his beautiful face.

      "What's going on, Mum?" Jace's deep voice questioned, stance screaming protectiveness. He had taken the news of Robert’s infidelity the hardest, hovering over her for months before he even allowed his adoptive father to get near her, despite the fact that it had been years ago.

      “Oh, by the Angel, have I lost track of time?”

     She looked around the huge library of the Institute to see that the lovely sunlight which had previously bathed her in gold had started to turn to silver. “Have you three already eaten?” It was surely a little bit past dinner time; how she had gotten so lost in her memories was beyond her. Maybe age was really catching up to her.

      “Not yet, we were waiting for you. But then Izzy pointed out no one had seen you all day. And then Alec got worried so we started looking for you.” Jace supplied, earning an annoyed look from his Parabatai which caused both Isabelle and Maryse to giggle.

      “Well, since I have gotten you three all worried, perhaps I can make it up to you by cooking dinner?” The Lightwood Matriarch suggested, her previously unfocused eyes now looking more lively and mischievous.

      “Home-cooked food? Are you sure you’re okay, Mum?” her Alec teased her, but the tension in his shoulders vanished, and his sapphire eyes now looked lighter. She didn’t deserve him — didn’t deserve any of them.

      “Oh, can I help? Please please please please!” Isabelle practically jumped on her spot, dark eyes endless as she searched her mother’s face for permission.

      “Of course you can, Isabelle. But I’m calling the shots, and you are just following my lead, understood?” Maryse said, slowly standing from the lavish but old couch.

      “Yes, Ma’am!” the young girl squealed excitedly. It wasn’t often Maryse let her help in the kitchen.

      “What are we having, Mum?” Jace asked as the four of them made their way to the kitchen. Maryse watched them as they spoke excitedly.

      “Well, I was thinking maybe...spaghetti?” She turned her ocean blue eyes to the golden boy, and her heart soared at the delight on his face.

      “Oh fuck yes!”

     His exclamation was met with a full body laugh from Isabelle who dashed to the kitchen, while Alexander met the improper language with an exasperated “Jace!” which in turn had his Parabatai rushing to follow their sister.

      Maryse smiled for what felt like the first time in years, her heart feeling like it would burst from her chest in sheer happiness. She had gone through a lot, had faced pain and humiliation and regrets most would never imagine. But she would go through it all again — as many times as it was needed — if it meant at the end of it all, she would be surrounded by the laughter of her children, who were far from being kids. Alexander standing tall at 21, while Jace and Isabelle followed close behind at 19.

      Still, as they argued about what sauce to make for their spaghetti — Isabelle forcing her siblings to wear cutesy aprons while menacingly holding a wooden spoon — Maryse knew they would always be her babies. Hers to love and protect for as long as the Angel allowed her to live.

[joysmercer]

Grey’s Anatomy 14x23 Final Thoughts

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve done one of these...but this one blew me away. Wow, what a rollercoaster! By the end of it, we were left knowing exactly who April Kepner is. Let’s get started. 

The episode starts with April sending out very April-like invitations to the Jolex wedding. The scene itself isn’t that important (save for lines like “It might be too fancy for me to go to” and “there’s no way Alex made this, it’s got Kepner written all over it”)…but it got me thinking -- what the heck is Owen Hunt, captain of disorganization, going to do without April running his ER? She excels at bossing people around and making sure everything happens in logical steps, and without her, no one is going to know anything and they’ll lose their trauma cert or something (just watch).

April’s whole storyline this episode was so beautiful. For once, it wasn’t too dragged out (like season 12), or too rushed (like this season’s storylines). Seeing the other doctors -- even Grey, Karev, and Bailey, who aren’t necessarily friends with Kepner -- absolutely anguished over her was heartbreaking. It also had the vibe of old Grey's, where MAGIC was so close to each other that when Izzy was diagnosed, all of them were a mess. We haven’t really been seeing that whole-group togetherness in later seasons, only mostly in pairs (kepzona, merlex…). It was a good reminder that these doctors have been working together for years, and that they’re as good as siblings. 

I would like to address the complaints I’ve been seeing on Twitter that Meredith “cried more for April than for Derek,” or that “she wasn’t even Kepner’s friend, so why does she have more screentime?”. I can’t really speak for Derek’s death, but I’m assuming that the episode didn’t show Meredith’s full reaction. Also, I’m not one bit surprised she was so upset over Kepner today. She and April first became friends in the Shooting episode, when they comforted each other as Derek was undergoing surgery. As general surgeons, I wouldn’t be surprised if the two of them became fast friends. The episode also made it very clear that the situation directly mirrored the Drowning in season 3(?), so again, Meredith feels like she should be there to help Kepner get through it. 

As for Meredith herself, I’m really hoping she’s not retiring the scrub cap. While I don’t care if she dates other people or not (I actually liked Riggs), and I’m glad she’s moving on / finally feeling 100% OK after Derek’s death, retiring the cap seems like too much. Then again, I nearly lost it at the removal of the post-it and the tumor on the wall, so I may just be nostalgic. 

Back to April -- did anyone find it weird that she and Matthew were back together? Don’t get me wrong, I never truly believed she and Jackson were soulmates, and Matthew is a sweetheart. But it did seem random and out-of-the-blue, especially since Matthew refused to see her at all the last time he was in the hospital. Anyway, that aside, I’m so happy she’s happy and in love again. Jackson’s horrible sadness (his crying scene left me in tears) showed that the two of them clearly have a lot of love for each other, and always will…but I think it’s changed from romantic to best-friend love, where they’ll do anything for each other, but they don’t have feelings for each other. Now they’re both in loving relationships (although I hate that Jaggie is a thing), and I feel a little better about Kepner’s departure. Except not really, because Sarah Drew’s acting has been phenomenal this season, and I really want to see more Japril friendship scenes and April being badass because we don’t have enough of either. 

Also, we finally got some meaningful Kepzona scenes this episode! Yay!!! Arizona’s departure is also shaping up in a beautiful way. While, again, I hate that JCap is leaving, and I think its an idiotic decision of the writers, I’m glad she’s leaving to a) be with her daughter and Callie; and b) she’s not giving up fetal surgery or her booming career or doing any of the other things Callie did in her departure. Bailey summed it up perfectly with her opening monologue about AZ being a pixie stick and turning into a wonderful surgeon and human being. I think forming her own Health Center is a wonderful way to leave GSMH, and truly gives Arizona the exit she deserves. Also, is anyone really upset Nicole Herman (Geena Davis) didn’t appear in more episodes?? I freaking love her, she may be my favorite guest character on this show ever. 

Owen Hunt is the third most important friendship April had at Grey Sloan, and while we don’t get to see them together that often anymore, today more than made up for it. Not only is it a mentor-mentee relationship, I truly believe that Owen looks at April like a little sister -- the way he reacted in every scene of the episode reminded me of how he treated Megan too. Like I said before, I don’t know what he’ll do with April gone, but like KMK said in an interview, it’s definitely going to be hard for him. 

While we didn’t get to see a lot of baby Leo today, the good news is that Betty came back! I don’t know if I mentioned this in an earlier post, but I’m really happy Amelia willingly chose to foster a girl not unlike herself. I think by the end of the process, she will realize that maybe, just maybe, she does want a child. The way she acted with Betty today, scolding, nurturing, and joking with her, shows that even in a few weeks, they have become attached, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they teach each other a lot. Deluca was also a surprisingly great character today as well, convincing Amelia not to panic about Herman. Let’s hope he stays this way. 

Unfortunately, the rest of the young residents/interns were just as stupid as they always have been. Roy is back, and his one great line was “I like Doctor Kepner.” He should have stayed fired. As for Glasses and Hellmouth, why would they even expect an invitation? Did they learn nothing from the last time they showed up to a party uninvited? jesus christ. Lastly, where the heck is my favorite intern Casey? He was around in, like, 1 episode and then disappeared.  How annoying.

Anyways, you don’t know how happy I am to find out that Apri wasn’t killed off. She definitely does not deserve that. And I’m super happy Kepzona is sticking around for the wedding before getting written off. Silver Linings, anyone? 

Favorite Quotes (because there were a lot):

"I thought you were a pixie stick. When I met you, I thought you were an empty vessel full of sugar who skated in a hospital. I didn’t know then that it would be one of the greatest privileges of my life to know you, and work with you." -- Bailey

“It might be too fancy for me to go to” -- Jo 

“All I see is yellow, yellow, and yellow” -- Alex

Alex’s monologue + “You gotta stop saying ‘was,'” -- Mer

“Don’t take April, please. I’ll do whatever you want, Don’t take her away, OK?” -- Jackson <3

“She’s in love” -- AZ

“She would have wanted us to pray” -- Owen

“you prayed for me, and it worked.” + “You always come and bring me back” + “I’m here, I’m alive” + “I’ll leave that up to Jesus” -- April <3

"So you did brain surgery while you needed brain surgery?” -- Betty

“She’ll take my hearing next” -- Herman

“I downloaded my whole brain into that girl” -- Herman

“It’s going to be so beautiful” -- Jo

The promo for next week looks really good, and I’m super excited to be back at the barn (think April planned it on purpose?) Anyway, until next time :) 

[sinsiriuslyemo]

Welcome to another season of Cuba v DR!! It’s going to be a wild ride. Fair warning...

EPISODE 1

“Oh my god I love school days,” you screamed as Nevada grabbed you, dipping you into a kiss. The two of you had spent the last few days cherishing the time you spent alone. You kissed back and tugged him until you both plopped onto the couch laughing. “Are you gonna come in with me to the doctor?”

The two of you had discussed a more permanent form of birth control than pills. You'd settled on the implant that would work for three years.

“Yeah, if you want,” he replied, shrugging and looking over at you. “When is it?”

“In two hours,” you said softly. It wasn't that you were nervous, you just didn't love the idea of someone staple gunning birth control into your arm.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I told you that,” he replied.

“I don't want to have to keep worrying about a pill. Plus, it's important to me to let you know that I respect your decision. We either both want a baby or neither.” You kissed his lips and smiled. “You and the kids have always been enough for me.”

“Okay,” he answered. “What time the kids supposed to be back? You know?” he asked.

“Yeah they get back at five, so we have a few hours after the doctors. We just need to stop by Izzy's first to eat.” You tugged him close and kissed him before moving to grab your shoes.

“Sounds good. Let me just change my shirt, and we can go,” he replied.

Izzy settled herself against the headstone in the graveyard.

“Hi mommy,” she said softly, fingers running over the cold marble. “As of today it's been officially nine years. That seems like...a lot. I was married for a while. Her name was Lila, I really loved her. My art is selling, can you believe it?” She smiled, fingers tracing over the engraving as she sighed.

“You remember my brother and my sister. They're doing really well. Rafi got married. I know you wouldn't have loved him at first but you would have grown to love him. His wife is so incredible. My nephew, Eddie is my best friend. We live together now. He's been through some really hard times too so I think we're good for each other.”

She felt the first droplets of rain, thinking she should have brought a jacket or an umbrella.

“Things have been really hard this year mom,” she whispered, feeling her voice crack. “You always told me I was the strong one, but I know how you felt when dad left and...I don't feel strong at all. What am I supposed to do when the love of my life leaves?”

She sniffled, pressing her forehead to the grave as it began to pour down rain. It felt almost cleansing in that moment, the cold water washing away the hurt she felt. She had thought she was okay but she certainly wasn't, loud sobs and hiccups being drowned out in the rain.

“I don't know what to do,” she cried. “I don't know what to do…”

After a while, she got up and wiped her face, though the rain made the gesture futile, and walked toward the graveyard entrance. She quickened her step as she got closer to the exit, throwing her arm up in attempts to hail a cab.

By the time she arrived home she was met with Greyson, Eddie, Rafael and Roxie.

“Did you forget about lunch today?” Eddie said with a frown. He moved over to her and took his coat off the rack by the door, wrapping it around her. “You're soaking wet Iz. What the fuck?”

“Where’d you go?” Rafael asked, moving into the hallway and grabbing a towel from the linen closet, bringing it to her.

“See my mom,” she answered.

“I thought we were all going to go,” Roxie chimed, glancing at Rafael.

Izzy jerked her head to look away from them, moving towards her room.

“Izzy, change your clothes and give me the wet ones, I’ll put them in the wash,” Rafael called out after her.

Roxie frowned. “Should someone help her? I can't imagine losing someone I loved the way Izzy loved her mum. This must be so painful.”

“She's being a drama queen,” Eddie said with a roll of his eyes. “She didn't die yesterday she died nine years ago.”

“Still, it’s her mother,” Rafael said softly. “Roxie, would you help her get out of her wet clothes?”

Roxie nodded, moving to the bedroom. “Izzy, honey let me help you change, okay?”

“I’m fine,” Izzy called back.

“Izzy, let her in,” Rafael called out as he sat at the table again to wait for the wet clothes.

Izzy slowly opened the door, tossing out the wet clothes and slamming it again.

“You know, Izzy, I'd love to hear more about your mum,” Roxie said softly. “Do you have pictures or videos? I want to know what she was like, how she raised such an amazing girl.”

Izzy opened the door in pajamas now and rolled her eyes. “You don't have to pretend to care.”

“I am not pretending,” Roxie answered, handing Rafael the dripping clothes. “I truly want to know.”

“We all do,” Greyson offered. “It’s why we’re all here, to remember her.”

Izzy looked down at her feet before going back into her room, slamming the door.

“She just wants people to feel sorry for her--”

“Eddie,” Rafael said, coming out of the laundry room and shaking his head.

“What? She does. Drama queen.”

“Remember what the therapist said about trying to understand where people are hurting and empathizing with them?” Greyson said softly.

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yeah I guess.”

Izzy came back out, moving to sit on the couch. She set a series of drawings on the table before moving to put a DVD into the player. “This is all I have of her,” she said softly as Roxie sat beside her.

“These are beautiful,” Roxie said, looking at all the drawings. “Rafael, look at these!” she called out.

Her husband came out from the laundry room and sat next to his wife, draping an arm on the back of the couch behind her.

“These are great, Iz,” he said, smiling.

“My favorite,” Izzy said softly. Tracing her fingers over the picture. Her mother was looking over her shoulder, one fishnet clad leg hiked up on a chair as she shot everyone a sultry gaze. She was incredibly beautiful.

“You look so much like her,” Rafael mused softly as Greyson and Eddie came to join them.

“What’s on the DVD?” Eddie asked.

“The only video I have of her...I listen to her voice a lot.”

She pressed play as a woman in a pink tank top with black lace came on the screen, her hair disheveled and messy but she was smiling at the camera.

“Are you going to be behind the camera the entire time?” She laughed and tried to cover her face. “Matias, I look like a mess.”

A toddler ran into the video, screaming and jumping right onto her mom.

The woman laughed and kissed her daughter's hair. “There she is,” she said softly against Izzy’s temple. “My beautiful angel.” She turned to the camera again. “Wave at daddy. Say hi!”

The toddler shook her head, hiding her face in her mom's chest.

“Come on, can't you say hi to daddy?” she coaxed.

Again the toddler shook her head.

The video cut out after that and Izzy remembered the beating that came from not listening to her mother.

Rafael had tensed a little, happy that at the very least his father hadn’t spoken a word, and gave Izzy a smile.

“She looked really happy,” he said.

“She was so beautiful, and funny, and sweet. She didn't wanna be a dancer forever. Someday she wanted to be a movie star.”

Eddie snorted a laugh, quickly getting elbowed by Greyson.

“I bet she could’ve been,” Rafael mused softly.

“She didn’t want to do something where she could use her PhD from Stanford?” Eddie asked sarcastically.

“Eddie, knock it off,” Rafael chimed, furrowing his brows at his nephew.

“Nah, she had always been someone who wanted to be on the big screen.” Izzy’s bottom lip trembled, eyes filling with tears. “I don't have anything but my sketches and that video. I don't remember her smell, how she sounded when she made breakfast. The way her hair felt between my fingers.”

“Did she wear perfume?” Greyson asked.

Izzy nodded. “Yeah she did.”

“What kind? Do you remember the name?” Roxie asked.

Izzy thought for a moment then shook her head sadly as there was a knock at the door.

Eddie got up and answered the door, smiling at you and Nevada. “Hey tio, hey tia,” he said, hugging each of you.

You hugged back. “Hey I'm sorry we can't stay, but I brought flowers, candles and some of my old jewelry for your mom's grave. I figured she should still be glamorous even in death.”

Izzy smiled and got up, hugging you tight, then Nevada. “I didn't think you guys would come…”

“Of course we came,” you answered, coming to say hello to Roxie and Rafael, then Greyson.

“What’re we watching?” Nevada asked.

“It was a home movie of her mom,” Rafael replied.

“Not the good kind,” Eddie mused.

“Eddie,” Roxie mumbled.

“Come on Eddie, stop busting her chops,” Rafael said.

“Do you mind if we watch it too?” you asked.

Izzy played the video again. You watched, looking the woman over, studying her, then Izzy.

You couldn't help but grin. “She's so beautiful. You look just like her.”

“Thanks,” Izzy replied, smiling.

“Well...now that everyone is here, shall we eat? Hopefully the rain will have let up by the time we’re finished,” Roxie suggested, standing up, smiling at everyone.

As you all sat down, you smiled at Izzy, holding her hand.

She smiled softly and looked at her siblings. “Thank you everyone for being here.”

Rafael smiled back at her before he looked at Roxie, taking her hand in his and kissing the back of it.

“Izzy, I know how much you miss your mom, and I know how hard this day has to be for you every year, but I hope this shows you that you still have people who love you in your life. I know it’s not the same, but I just wanted to say that we’re always here for you, no matter what. So here’s to Annabell Barba, may she rest in peace, and always be in your heart,” Rafael said, lifting his glass.

Everyone toasted to Annabell.

Izzy had never felt so loved in her life. She couldn't help it as she cried again.

After lunch, you and Nevada made your way to the doctors. You sat down on the table.

“We should set up a tent in the house and indoor camp with the kids later, they'd love it.” You said as you took your top off, sliding the gown over your top half.

“Indoor camp? Why not just camp on the roof?” he asked.

“Even better,” you grinned and smiled at the doctor came in.

“Alrighty, Mr. and Mrs. Ramirez. Always great to see you. Let's get started shall we.”

The doctor pulled a tray out from a cabinet, starting to set things up.

“So how does this work? You gotta open her up, or you just go in through the hole?” Nevada asked.

The doctor chuckled. “The implant actually goes right in her arm. Mrs. Ramirez if you can lay your arm down on the table for me. If you want to hold your husband’s hand, you can.”

You look to Nevada. You weren't too nervous. You'd been shot. But no matter how many injuries you'd endured, you still couldn't stand needles.

He offered his hand without a word and squeezed while the doctor shot the implant into your arm.

“Okay,” he said, cleaning the area and putting a bandaid on it. “That’s it. We’re all done. This is good for three years, and if you ever want it out sooner, you can just come in and get it removed. You can get dressed now, Mrs Ramirez.”

You nodded and pulled on your shirt, smiling at Nevada. “You owe me ice cream,” you said playfully. “Anyone who gets birth control staple gunned into her deserves ice cream, don't you think?”

“I told you I’d get snipped of you wanted me to,” he replied, smirking at you as he stood and walked out with you, settling the visit at the front desk before you left.

“I know, but this is less permanent. If anything changes we have the option. If not, and three years go by. We're gonna neuter you so I don't have to do it again.”

“Alright,” he replied, following you out. “So ice cream, huh?”

You nodded. “Chocolate, with sprinkles,” you whispered with a smirk.

“Alright, come on,” he mumbled, opening the car door for you and getting into the driver’s seat. “You okay? Never asked how you felt watching that video of Izzy’s mom...with your old man…”

“It was a lot,” you said honestly. “Not because of Izzy's mom. I feel so...bad for her. Because I know how that video ended. It was how any day with my dad ended. A fist.”

“He’s gone,” he replied. “He can’t hurt any of you guys anymore.”

You nodded and took a deep breath before holding his hand. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” he replied.

Rafael looked up from his place at the dining room table at Roxie, who was working on some new recipes in the kitchen. He’d been thinking a lot lately, about his career and his life, about he and Roxie’s life together.

Getting up from his chair, he went into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him until her back was flush against his chest. Pressing his nose against her hair, he sighed softly, dropping a kiss behind her ear.

“Hey,” he said softly, kissing down her neck. “I’ve been thinking,” he whispered as one hand grazed along her side, letting his fingertips drag her skirt up a little to touch her bare skin.

“Have you?”

“Mhm,” he hummed as his other hand moved to drift over her stomach, pulling her further against him.

“About?” she asked, tilting her head to one side as he dropped gentle kisses over her pulse point.

“Let’s make a baby,” he whispered into her ear, gently biting down on the lobe.

She moaned and giggled. “I know I'm a good chef but that's a tall order. It uses a different kind of oven you know,” she teased.

“I’m serious,” he mumbled against her skin as his hand ran up and down her leg.

“Really?” She smiled, turning and sliding her fingers into his hair and he nodded his head. “Alrighf, let's have a baby.”

Smiling at her, he bent to pull her up until her legs wrapped around his waist, kissing her as he carried her into their bedroom. Laying her down on the bed, his hand slid over her leg until her dress was pushed up around her hips while he kissed down her neck.

She shivered, moaning loudly. “Oh, we're making that baby now?” She tugged him closer.

“I thought I made my intentions pretty clear, but if you object…” he replied, head coming up to look down at her with a smirk.

She giggled and shook her head. “No, no by all means, put a baby in me,” she whispered and kissed him again.

Humming against her mouth, he ground his hips against hers while he kissed down to her chest, pulling her dress off and teasing first one nipple, then the other.

“I love you, Roxie,” he whispered, biting down on the stiff peak as one hand drifted to skim his fingers over the inside of her thigh. Kissing down her body, he pulled her panties off and kissed over her hips.

She whimpered, arching her back. “Rafael, you feel so incredible,” she whispered as he kissed along her inner thigh, making his way up to her center.

“So do you,” he mumbled, licking up her slit until he was honing in on her clit. His hands held her hips against him as he licked and sucked her core.

She relaxed against him, body feeling every sensation as she touched him. “I love you.” She arched her hips up a bit.

Moaning against her, he sucked the tender nub above her opening, finger coming under his chin, tracing her opening.

She shivered, trying to push herself closer to the stimulation. She tugged him a bit closer, lightly pulling at the roots of his hair as he slid his finger inside her.

Thrusting it in and out of her, he hummed against her, free hand stroking over her body.

As her breathing grew heavy, she started to twitch. “O-oh god, that feels...oh…”

Sliding another finger in, he moaned against her, moving them faster inside her before curling them forward to massage her gspot and sucking harder on her clit. His body was on fire beneath his clothes, throbbing, longing to be touched, and he groaned as he inhaled through his nose and caught a huge whiff of her scent. Doubling his efforts, he moaned against her again, beckoning her over the edge.

It took her less than a few seconds before she was coming hard, panting and blushing. He smirked against her, humming as he gradually brought her down and turned his head to lay wet kisses over the inside of her thighs before he made his way back up her body. Taking her lips in a passionate kiss, he let her roll them over until he was on his back.

She kissed him, moving down his body, looking up at him and silently asking if she could return the favor. Nodding his head, he reached for the hem of his shirt to take it off.

She tugged his jeans and boxer briefs down, leaning over and licking the head of his cock in amusement. “Mmmm, you're always so hard for me, Rafi.”

“Always for you, mi amor,” he replied, his hands stroking over the skin of her arms.

She took him into her mouth, slowly at first, licking her way down to the base before going back up. As she repeated the motions, she varied her pace, fingers tracing up his thighs and moving to his balls to give them a gentle massage.

Groaning, he arched and reached one hand to run through her hair, picking his head up momentarily to meet her gaze before he let it fall back against the mattress. Biting down on his bottom lip, he moaned and tried to keep his hips from rocking upward.

“That feels so good, Roxie,” he whispered.

She hummed around his cock, not pushing him too hard, she wanted to make love. Her eyes closed as she took him down again, trying to reach the base as best as she could before pulling back off to lap precum off the tip.

“You taste amazing,” she purred. “I can't wait to feel you inside of me, my love.”

“Oh God, Roxie,” he groaned, shuddering and arching his back again.

She waited until he was close before pulling back and kissing him hungrily, moving to straddle him. She moved his member to her entrance, making eye contact with him before slowly easing down onto him.

Groaning again, he pulled her down for another passion-filled kiss, rolling them over and beginning a slow, tender pace.

“I love you so much,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you too. I want a baby with you, Rafael Barba.” She smiled, tears rolling down her cheeks, she was so happy.

“So do I,” he replied, smiling back and using the back of his fingers to wipe her tears away. “Let’s see what we can do about that,” he whispered against her cheek, kissing her neck and sucking a mark on her pulse point as he moved over her.

She felt every piece of him. Every touch of his flesh on hers. She felt so sensitive. “Oh Rafael,” she whined and pulled him closer.

He moaned her name against her skin, kissing her again while his hips moved steadily against her. Tucking his face against her neck, he moved slightly faster, hands gliding over her side before one reached down to pull her leg up, allowing him to sink deep inside her.

“You feel so good, mi amor,” he purred.

She panted, arching a bit. “I'm close, Rafi, I want to come with you,” she whispered. “Please.”

“Oh...okay,” he replied, moving faster to try and catch up with her. Looking down at her, he nuzzled his nose against hers and kissed her again.

She cupped his face, kissing him and breathing to slow herself down to match him. “I love you,” she whispered with a smile. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he replied through a smile.

She kissed him again, wrapping her legs tight around his body as she gripped him tighter. Moving harder inside her, he moaned against her mouth, arching his hips up to stimulate her gspot. His moans were coming closer together as his arms wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

She screamed his name as she came, clenching tight around his cock as she kissed him. “Rafi, Rafi, Rafi,” she whispered against his skin.

He followed right behind her, coming and moaning against her neck, slowing his hips gradually to prolong both their orgasms.

“I love you,” he whispered, dropping kisses over her face. “I love you so much.”

She sniffled, hiding her face. “I'm so...happy, I love you and...” she hiccuped and hugged him closer.

“And?” he asked softly, letting his nose graze along her cheekbone.

“I'm so excited,” she said between shaky breaths as she hugged him.

“I am too, but let’s not get our hopes up just yet. The midwife said it may a few tries for you to get pregnant,” he replied, hugging her back. “But I want us to have a family together,” he added against her mouth, kissing her gently.

She nodded and kissed back. “We'll just have to keep trying till we get it right then,” she teased, kissing him.

He nodded his head, letting his forehead rest against hers.

“And we're off! Fast foot Fallon rounding the track with the assistance of her talented but less adorable mother, Amber.” Troy narrated with a grin as he watched Amber hold Fallon's hands and let her walk around the kitchen.

“Oh ladies and gentlemen it is a new world record, move over Usain Bolt.” Amber picked up the baby, pretending to cheer.

“The crowd goes wild!” Troy claps his hand.

“Hey, I never asked you--how'd that date go?” she asked, moving to grab Fallon’s baby food and sitting her in the highchair.

“Good,” he said with a nod. “How was your date?” He smoothed down Fallon's wild hair and kissed her head.

“Well, I don’t know if you can still call them dates if you’re dating, you know? But we had a good time, I’d never seen The Nutcracker live,” she replied, smiling.

He smiled back. “Was it interesting?”

Amber squinted a bit. “Yes..?”

Troy laughed. “That's not very convincing.”

She opened her mouth to speak but was distracted by the door.

“That must be Scott. He's going to spend the day with me and Fallon.”

Troy quirked a brow and stood. “Then I should take that as my hint to leave,” he teased as he opened the door for Scott. “Hey man,” Troy nodded politely.

“Hey Troy, how’ve you been?” Scott asked, holding out his hand to shake Troy’s.

“Good, the date turned out pretty nice, I'm gonna head out and maybe see if she wants to go to the shooting range.” He moved to Amber, playfully ruffling her hair before kissing Fallon's forehead. “See ya later, pip squeak.”

He moved to the door and nodded at Scott again before heading out.

Amber smoothed down her hair and moved to Scott, kissing him with a smile. “Hey handsome.”

“Hi,” he replied  kissing her back before looking at Fallon. “And hello to you, little lady.”

The baby stuck her little hand into her jar of baby food and stuffed it into her mouth.

“Fallon, mi amor, calmete, despacito,” Amber scolded as she took a cloth and wiped the babies mouth.

“I didn’t know you spoke Spanish,” he said, sitting at the table next to Fallon’s chair.

“I speak five languages, all I ask is Fallon speaks two.” She brushed a hand over her daughter's hair. “Her father is primarily a Spanish speaker, it's important to me that she learns too.”

The baby reached out for Scott. “Dadadada,” she babbled as she tried to stand in her chair. Getting a bit fussy.

“Whoa, careful there or you’ll fall,” Scott replied, picking up the toddler. “Are you all done?” he asked.

The baby waved both hands in a shaking motion.

“She's saying all done in sign language,” Amber said as she started to clean the tray off.

“I actually know that,” he replied, smiling. “I speak sign language, my brother is deaf so…”

“Yeah?” She quirked a brow. “I didn't know that about you.”

She smiled as Fallon snuggled against Scott signing the word for happy.

“Now you know,” he replied, signing back to Fallon. “So what have you ladies been up to today?”

“We practiced our walking, and then I had Troy watch her so I could shower before you arrived and now I have wet hair, no makeup and a baby who is very happy to be held.” She laughed when Fallon signed happy again.

“Wow, that’s a big day,” he replied, signing to ask Fallon if she was tired.

“Mami, tu quieres dormir?”

Fallon signed back and nodded her head and Scott handed her over.

Amber picked her up and carried her to the crib, kissing her hair and laying her in her crib.

“I love you,” she whispered to her daughter. “There is nothing in this world you can't do. Never forget that.”

Fallon just stared up at her before her little eyes began to drift shut, one hand coming to rub her left one.

Amber waited until she was asleep before moving to the couch. “So what are we planning to do, hmm?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

“I don’t know, I just thought I’d stop by and say hello. How’s the editing coming along? Nicole driving you crazy yet?” he asked.

“Yes,” Amber said seriously. “I don't want to work with her. Not that my other options are better. But she's driving me insane.” Amber shook her head. “I can't talk about it. I'll just stress.” She looked up at him and smiled. “How about you? How's work?”

“Usual. I have a client who is hell-bent on selling me novel about a reporter who gets caught in a zombie apocalypse so there’s that. Sometimes I wonder where these weirdos come from. I mean I know writers are weird, but some are just way out there.”

She snorted a laugh. “Are you sure he's not fucking with you? That's the plot to Dead Rising.”

“No, he’s not because that’s what I told him. He is absolutely serious,” he answered. “So Fallon’s walking, huh?”

Amber lit up. “Oh god yes, she's so fast now. She still needs a little help but she is a total speed demon. I can barely keep up with how fast she wants to go.”

He snorted, nodding his head. “I guess kids are like that,” he replied.

Amber blinked a few times. “They get so big, so fast,” she said softly. “I swear she was born...yesterday.”

“Time always flies, I can only imagine how much faster it feels when you have a child. How’s her speech coming along?”

“She says mom and dad. She's very fluent in signing but still not much verbal communication.” Amber smiled and kissed him. “Do you ever want kids of your own?” she asked curiously.

“I actually had a vasectomy when I was eighteen. I never wanted kids,” he answered honestly, shrugging a little.

“Eighteen?” She stared at him for a moment. “That's a big step to take at eighteen, wow.”

“Yeah, I just knew I wanted to enlist, and that even if I did settle down someday, I...I don’t know maybe it was the way I grew up with so many siblings, I just never wanted kids,” he replied. “Is that...a problem?”

“Of course not, I never wanted kids either. Fallon was a miracle but she was definitely unexpected. I'm not supposed to be able to have children.” She looked him over. It did concern her about a future with him. He didn't want kids. That was fine, she didn't want more kids either but what about her baby?

“And she’s great,” he replied, shrugging. “I mean, would you go back and change things if you could?”

“Never,” she said with a smile. “She's the best thing in my life.”

“Yeah, see?” he replied. “Life is sometimes funny that way, it hands you things you don’t expect that turn out to be amazing things.”

“Yeah, it really is funny,” she said softly, looking up and him. “I really wanna make us work,” she whispered.

He furrowed his brows a little, the corner of his mouth lifting. “I thought we are working,” he replied.

“We are, but I know me and I over think. I say stupid shit, I sabotage good things before they even get started and I'm so scared I'm going to lose you before we even really get started.”

“Well...try not to overthink,” he replied, chuckling. “We’re in a good place, I thought and we’ve only been seeing each other...barely a month. Just relax.”

Amber closed her eyes and took a few shaky breaths. “You're right,” she whispered.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Nothing,” she said honestly. She looked up at him and smiled.

“Okay,” he replied, smiling back. “So what do you wanna do after the little one wakes up?” he asked.

“She really likes the aquarium.”

“Sounds like fun, we’ll go to the aquarium then,” he replied, smiling.

[britishvamps]

Falsified Feelings

Part Three

Part One  //  Part Two

*This was meant to be the final part but I was already on 1600 words so I’m making a final part which will be part four.*

Prompt: 5. I’m sick of being USELESS 55. I’m pregnant 58. It’s not what it looks like...

Fandom:Shadowhunters Member: Sebastian Verlac/Jonathan Morgernstern Warnings: None Word Count: 1636

Summary: Jonathan finds out you and the Institute know he’s not Sebastian, the gang finds out about the baby.

It’s been nearly a week since you witnessed the death of who you presumed was the real Sebastian Verlac, you had tried your best to stay away from everybody, especially Sebastian. And it seemed that everyone was noticing the shift in your behaviour.

And once again Izzy and Clary were asking questions. “(Y/N)... Babe... You really need to talk to us. You‘re throwing up more often, missing missions and avoiding us, especially Sebastian.” Izzy said as she and Clary had walked into your bedroom once more. Sighing, you rolled over on your bed to look at the two girls that were now moving closer to the bed and staring down at you. “I’m fine guys, I just don’t fee-” You were cut off by a wave of nausea and hurriedly jumped out of the covers and into the bathroom to throw up. Leaving a worried Izzy and Clary on your bed, forgetting that the pregnancy test was still on the bedside table.

When you finally stopped throwing up, you brushed your teeth and walked back into your bedroom, only to see the two girls with the test in their hands. “If I said it’s not what it looks like, would that be too cliche...” You awkwardly laughed, as they stood there shocked. “It makes so much sense now! The lost appetites, the throwing up and missing training or missions! Is this why you’re avoiding us? Did you tell Sebastian yet?” The questions kept flying out of their mouths, shooting at you. “WOAH! Slowly, okay.”

“Wait, is this why you’re avoiding Sebastian? Does he know?” Clary asked, turning to face you once more as you all sat at the edge of the bed. Wringing your fingers, you looked down, not wanting to answer the question. “YOU DIDN’T TELL HIM YET?!” Izzy yelled out, shocked. Sighing, you shook your head before you began explaining. “Ever since he disappeared and reappeared, Sebastian doesn’t seem like Sebastian.” Letting out a small breath before continuing, “It seems that the only thing that is similar to my old Sebastian is his looks. He feels like a whole new person, even when it’s just the two of us. I just don’t want to tell him I’m pregnant yet until I’m sure that my Sebastian came back to me that day.” At this point, tears were streaming down your face, as you had finally let all your emotions come tumbling down.

After you had finally pulled yourself together, you, Izzy and Clary all went to grab some food from the Institute’s kitchen when Jace and Alec walked in. “(Y/N)! Are you feeling better? Sebastian says that you’ve been throwing up.” Alec questioned, walking over to you and embracing you in a side hug. “Yes, Alec I’m fine. It was nothing serious.” You say, whilst Izzy and Clary both look at you from behind Alec, as if expecting you to tell them the truth.

A short while passes before you turn to the girls. “Is there anything new about Jonathan in Valentine’s journals that could be useful?” Receiving a short shake of their heads showed that they were still unsure of how to capture  Jonathan. “Well maybe a fresh pair of eyes could be of use. I am available and off missions for the time being anyways.”

“Are you sure? I mean, maybe you should rest an-”

“Iz, I’m fine. I want to help however I can. I’m sick of feeling useless... Plus you have to go help Alec so I will happily take over for you.” And off you went into Alec’s study where the journals were. After around 3 hours of you, Clary and Jace flipping through the masses of inked pages of information on Valentine’s various experiments on both Jonathan’s; Jace and Jonathan and you had found nothing. That was until you had decided to re-read a page and shot up. “Guys! I found it! Look!” You called them over. “What is it?” Jace inquired, looking over your shoulder as you sat back down. “Electrum! Jonathan can’t tolerate Electrum because he’s demon blooded.” Judging by the looks on Jace and Clary’s faces, you had cracked the secret to finding Jonathan in the Institute but a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach almost suggested that something would make this plan backfire.

Later that night, Alec had called for an Institute meeting to let everyone know about the Institute lockdown and thus began the plans to capture Jonathan. But then complications started, someone had attacked Max and he was unconscious. As you sat outside the makeshift hospital room for brother Enosh to finish the process on Max when Jace came running into the corridor breathing heavily. “Where is he? What happened?” He frantically asked, everyone now looking towards the distressed male. “What are you talking about?” Alec asked, wondering what had Jace so rattled. By the look on Jace’s face, he seemed as if Alec’s words were like another language. “Max. I got your text.”

“What text?” Then the sudden realisation passed through everyone. “Jonathan.”

“Sound the alarm!” But judging by the beeping sound on Alec’s phone, the alarm was disabled. “Son of a bitch.” Rushing to your feet, you ran past everyone, looking for the only person who seemed to fit Jonathan’s current characteristics and when you reached Clary, you found him too. “I guess I passed your test.” Sebastian’s voice rang, as he handed Clary back the Electrum in his hand. When you turned to Clary, you whispered. “Jonathan.” And she knew. “Sebastian! Hey! Hey.” She ran after him before he could leave, “You forgot something.” And she grabbed his hand, seeing the scorch mark from the Electrum in the centre of his palm. And then the doors to the entrance slammed shut, closing Clary in with the man you had all thought was Sebastian but was really Jonathan in the skin of your fiancee.

After the attack, Jonathan had managed to get away but Clary had secured what you had assumed was the real Mortal Mirror. That was until Clary used her deactivating rune and the Mirror disintegrated. “What just happened?” You asked as what was once the Mortal Mirror soon became a pile of dust in Clary’s palm.

As nobody knew the answer, you all went to see Max, who had gladly awoken. “Did you catch Sebastian?” Causing chuckles to escape everyone’s mouths. “You almost died and that’s what you’re concerned about?” Maryse laughed, tears threatening to escape as she looked down at her baby boy.

Finally, you, Izzy, Clary, Jace and Alec went into his office. “Saving me from Azazel must have all been part of Jonathan’s plan.” Izzy sighed, “I was the one to bring him to the Institute.” She continued, looking apologetic at each of you. “Don’t.” You said. “We’re all responsible for this.”

“Look, even with our pure angel blood, doesn't it seem strange that Clary's runes would be powerful enough to destroy a Mortal Instrument? And why didn't it destroy the sword? What if the mirror I destroyed isn't the Mortal Mirror?” Clary proposed. It did seem strange that the Mortal Mirror was destroyed by a rune.

“Then why would your mom give it to the warlocks to protect?” They quizzed, confused by Clary’s statement.

“Maybe she thought it was. We all did.” She said, which made a lot of sense. “Maybe whoever made it wanted it that way.”

“Maybe the Angel Raziel knew that someday, somewhere. Someone would try to resurrect so he made it hard for it to be done by having a decoy. So whilst everybody looked for the Mortal Mirror, they weren’t looking for the real Mirror.” You spoke, adding to Clary’s idea of the Mirror being a fake.

“To distract people from finding the real one.”

As Jace, Isabelle and Alec continued discussing the events and actions of the night, you noticed Clary was staring at the photo of Lake Lyn in Idris, when she quietly gasped and whispered. “The lake.” She turned and looked at each one of us. “The water. It’s a reflection.” She bursted, as if it all made sense to her finally. “What water? What are you talking about?” Alec asked.

“I didn’t destroy the Mirror. These visions I’ve been having, they’re a message from the Angel. The Mirror is Lake Lyn.” And suddenly it all seemed as if the pieces of the puzzles were finally set in place for the whole image to be seen.

After the recent discovery of the real Mortal Mirror, you’re body was definitely drained of all its energy but you couldn’t bring yourself to sleep in the bedroom that had once had ‘Sebastian’ laying beside you. Walking in the direction of Jace’s room, you knocked quickly on the door, praying he was still awake. When the door opened, you let out a silent breath that you didn’t know you were holding in. “(Y/N).. What’s up?” Jace said, obviously preparing to sleep. “Can I sleep here? I don- I can’t sleep in that room just yet.” You breathed out, voice barely above a whisper. “Sure. Come in.” He said, moving the door wider to let you in. “Thank you. I couldn’t sleep there in that room, knowing that Jonathan was less than a foot away from me for so long. And then the bab-” You stopped yourself, the tears still escaping your eyes, as Jace looked at you with wide eyes. “You’re pregnant?” He asked, looking between your stomach and your face repeatedly. “Jace... Pl- please, don’t say anything. I-I don’t know what to do anymore.” You cried as Jace laid you down onto the bed, laying beside you and letting you just cry until finally your racketing sobs turned into sniffles then finally silence as you passed out, tired from the second crying period today.

[thelavirule]

Hi guys! Sorry it took me a while to upload this chapter I was so busy during the holidays. But anyways Happy New Year everyone and I hope you enjoy this chapter. If I may be so bold as to suggest a song for you to listen while you’re reading this chapter. My recommendation would be Money, Power, Glory-Lana Del Rey for the darker sides and for those looking for a lighter tone, I would suggest Love Never Felt So Good-Michael Jackson. The MJ song would come more in tune towards the end of this chapter but go ahead and listen to anything else you would like to or even make a suggestion to me if you’d like to. I do not own this picture so credits to the owner! Once again happy new year!

Chapter 2: Home Sweet Home

Naya walks to her room very slowly. She had imagined the day would go differently; they would go ordered dinner from the local pizza place they liked and then she would have gone by Magnus place for a bit. Naya would have spent a couple of hours catching up with Magnus and then she’d have gone to hangout with the rest of her siblings early in the morning at Taki’s again.

She sighs because she had been craving the watermelon raspberry smoothie they served at Taki’s. Now it was hardly likely Mum would let them go.

Her room is the exact state she had left in; an utter mess. It was obvious that Izzy had rummaged around for clothes, shoes or makeup but other than that most of her things were where she had left them. On her desk is a vase filled with roses and the whole room reeks of the scent. No doubt Izzy had taken the initiative to put some because she knew Naya loves roses. 

And Naya can’t help herself when she leaps on to her bed like a child. Then she reaches under her bed for her special box of things. There was a small section that Naya had built to hide little things of her own from her family. Mainly stuff like her cigarettes, her special Star Wars Zippo lighter that she only took out for special occasions, a dried rose that a drunk girlfriend had given her, a couple of concert wristbands and a small vial of billywig serum Hodge had given her.

It was hard to believe that Hodge, who she’d respected and looked to for guidance while she was a teenager had betrayed her family that way. Maryse had to told her what happened to Hodge but didn’t go much into details. Naya didn’t ask but she knew he was probably in the Silent City. She gets up and from a small cupboard filled to the brim with books, Naya retrives a Star Wars book. It was most important to her as it contained her fathers journals. 

Naya opens the book and pulls out the journals. She smells the nice old scent that books typically have and then hugs the journals to her chest and sniffs. She remembered her parents despite losing them at 10. Naya looked more like her father, only the more feminine version but people had often told her she was more like her mother. She had inherited Dev’s physical features but Naya walked and talked Naina Patel. Naya has always been the type of person to question higher authority. While her parents were alive, they questioned the Clave and the politics that surrounded Idris. 

They taught their daughter that at every point, that it was always good to question higher authority. She had just turned 10 when news of their death came. Naya had no other living relatives or even Godparents as her parents had run away together and gotten married secretly in Britain.

They were supposedly from one of the more prestigious Shadowhunter families in India but eloped as their parents were against their union. They lived for a bit in Leeds, taken refuge in the London institute when Naya was born and lived there for a couple of years. Naya couldn’t remember much of the members of the London institute and she didn’t visit them either the entire time she was in London either. She had stayed at the mundane college campus and went for classes and pretended to be a mundane overall.

Dev Patel was later offered leadership of the Amsterdam institute so they moved to the Netherlands when Naya was about four or five years old. Naina Patel was later chosen as the local Conclave’s representative and her political career kicked off then. She climbed the ladders quickly, known for her wit, practical arguments and tactical proposals. She was offered a seat in the Council after two years and for a brief time, Naya floated back and forth Alicante and Amsterdam as her father couldn’t leave the Institute.

Then Naya had discovered in the journal that her father had left behind, that Valentine had come looking for her parents. He had wanted Naina Patel to join the Circle, her husband and child were also most welcome to join them. Naya was only a child then.

According to his journal, her mother had wanted to join the Circle. Naina Patel had believed the Clave was truly corrupt as she was a member of the council. The journal her father had left behind was full of entries about the various corruption and crimes going on in the Clave. Stories of murder, corruption, abuse of power among the more prestigious families in Idris, serious offences of the law and sexual favours among ranks. But they were a very practical couple, Naina was the idealist, Dev was the realist and he managed to talk her out of it. They had sent Valentine a letter of their declination and he had sent one back with a faerie ring, asking them to contact him through the ring if they had changed their minds. Naya had the both the letter and the ring that she kept in a jewellery box that was supposedly her mothers. 

The jewellery box had both her parents wedding bands, her mother’s engagement ring, an old photo of them at their wedding, a polaroid photo of baby Naya, letters from both her parents and a lock of her Naina’s hair. And right after the Patel’s had declined Valentine, the Circle was ruined and Valentine fleed. But then the Council had discovered Valentine’s interest in Naina Patel for it was rare that Valentine himself asked people to join him. And for him to have targeted Naina Patel made her an instant threat, especially since she was a Council member. 

What made matters worse, was that her mother was elected to become the next Inqusitor. Now they couldn’t publicly execute her or demote her, as Naina knew too much and the Clave faced a risk by making it a public affair. Even if they managed to sentence Naina, they risked being questioned by the rest of the public. So they sent Naina and Dev on a mission that was aimed on getting rid of Naina Patel. They didn’t intend for Naya’s father to get killed too but it certainly made things easier. It was no doubt they killed Naina Patel off knowing she was eventually going to expose and rid of a lot of the Clave’s members when she became Inqusitor. 

So they sent Dev and Naina on a “mission” to New York which was how they ended up at the New York institute. Naya wasn’t sure what exactly the mission was about but her father had written that they knew they were being set up. The Patel’s had made all sorts of necessary arrangements for their only daughter, thus all the letters, the jewellery box and the journal were hidden away until Naya had found it. The Clave had ransacked through their belongings but her father was a formidable man. He had hid the book inside another book in the Institute’s library. In a book he knew only Naya would want to pick up; Star Wars: From Concept to Screen to Collectible.

The Lightwoods kids never bothered much for mundane movies. The boys and Izzy did watch Star Wars now and then when Naya bugged them but they wouldn’t pick a book up to read about it. But her father must have known that she would. He had been a huge fan of it and made Naya watch every single one of the movies at home on DVD.  And like her father had collected vintage Star Wars merch, Naya had Stormtrooper toys, a tie fighter model, a very prized Princess Leia figurine and her very own version of Darth Maul’s darksaber. All of that were left behind at the London Institute. And they never came back to her when her parents died. Infact nothing except for the possesions she had at the New York institute. She had only brought along a stormtrooper plushie with her to New York that she still had, now old and smelly on her dresser. 

After her parents death, the Lightwoods took over as her official guardians. Naya had never talked to Robert and Maryse about it but she wondered if they knew what had truly happened to Naina and Dev and if they becoming her legal guardians were no accident. After all they were Circle members and had known Valentine directly. It was all very confusing at first because Maryse was rubbish at explaining her parents death but eventually Naya understood was had happened. She had cried when they died but she hadn’t truly understood the depth and the impact of their deaths on her. 

But Naya flourished, loved and cared for by the Lightwoods, like she was their own. She was older than Alex by a year but was thrilled to finally have siblings, Alex and Isabelle. They were all very young and she fit in like a glove. It took a long while to warm up to Alex but Naya loved Izzy instantly.  It was funny how Naya thought she would dislike Isabelle but ended up liking her the most. Izzy was nothing but curious when Naya had first arrived at the New York institute.  She asked endless questions about Naya and her parents and her culture and what India looked like. And Naya in return asked a great many questions about New York, and America and if she had ever met Mark Hamill. 

Naya was in many ways like Isabelle. They shared a great love for clothes, makeup and high heeled shoes, both being tall girls. But while Izzy was more outgoing and cheeky and sexy, Naya was more reserved, skeptical and shy. She came off as snobbish sometimes and intimidating but she didn’t mind. And when Izzy turned 12, they became parabatai. It was so natural and expected of them, that it came off surprise to no one. They were parabatai right before Alex and Jace Wayland. 

The arrival of Jace Wayland had made Naya quesy. Initially she didn’t like the blond boy with the fearless blue eyes. But that was more to Naya’s shyness, that eventually lead to an unbreakable bond between the four of them. Naya wonders if she’ll look at Jace differently now that she knows he is Valentine’s son and has a younger sister named Clary. She wonders temporarily what Clary looks like and if she’s like Jace with blonde hair and filled to the brim with arrogance and self-confidence. She shakes her head and goes back to reading her fathers journals. When Naya had just turned sixteen, she had discovered the Star Wars: From Concept to Screen to Collectible in the Institution’s library. It was a large book and had seemed like such a weird and unnatural book to be in the Institution’s library. 

A book like that had only one place and that was Naya’s personal book collection in her room,“Naya had thought as she carried the book back. She can still remember the surprise and slight dismay when she had discovered a huge hole in the middle of the book, holding her father’s journals, surprise at the journals and dismay that she wouldn’t be able to read the Star Wars book. She poured through the personal journal and cried and laughed whenever she hit sad or funny parts. 

The journals dated back to when her parents had first got married and Naya was grateful that her father had written so much so she could have this piece of them forever. She roared in laughter when she read an apology her father had included for destroying the book. And at the end of the journal, Naya had decided that she wouldn’t tell anyone of what she had discovered that summer afternoon, not even Isabelle who she trusted with her life.

Naya sighs as she puts the journals back into the Star Wars book. Then she puts them back to her book cupboard and then lunges her heavy bag on to her bed. She starts to unpack some of the new clothes the mundane boy had given her but some she leaves in the bag. She’s in the midst of zipping her bag up when a soft knock can be heard from her door. Her mother steps in with another lady trailing behind her. 

Naya, there’s someone I’d like you to meet,"Maryse says softly as the lady behind her peaks shyly. Naya plasters a large smile on her face and holds her hand out to shake the strangers hand.

Hello I’m Naya,"Naya says, sounding friendly enough. She shakes the lady hand and makes note of the strong grip the lady has for someone seemingly small.

I am Madeleine Bellefleur,"she says, smiling warmly at Naya. Naya looks at Maryse in confusion and Maryse nods.

She’s my friend from when I was young. I went to school with her and she was a close friend when I was your age, Naya,"Maryse explains. She’ll be coming with us tomorrow to Idris,”

Oh that’s lovely. I assume you will be staying her tonight then?“Naya asks and Madeleine nods. 

Yes of course. We’ve some very important business in Alicante, best to spend the night here. Wouldn’t do us any good if I were late when the Portal is opened,"she chuckles and Naya nods. The Maryse frowns at Naya looking at her overflowing bag of clothes.

Naya you can’t be bringing all those clothes to Idris,"Maryse begans. Come on I’ll help you sort some more clothes,”

Mum no I want to bring all this and I’m packing light!“Naya argues and Madeleine chuckles. 

I sense a mother/daughter argument from a mile away,"she smiles. I’ll leave you two to packing then,”

She exits the room, closing the door behind her softly and Naya turns her attention back to Maryse.

I just finished packing with Isabelle. She wanted to bring a huge bag too, the both of you are impossible,“Maryse says, her hands on her hips in typical motherly fashion. Come on lets have a look,”

With a groan, Naya holds up whatever she decides she absolutely needs and Maryse decides if she gets to bring it along. Whatever Naya doesn’t get to bring, she chucks back in to her wardrobe and whatever she can bring, Maryse folds neatly into a smaller suitcase.

What’s all these new branded clothes?“Maryse asks, holding up her favourite new and very expensive Balmain leather jacket. And don’t tell me you got these stuff cheap because they’re second hand, they look brand new,"Maryse holds up a small Prada bag.

Oh they’re gifts from this mundane boy,"Naya explains but then Izzy comes barging in to her room. 

Nai Mum says we can go out so we’re going to Taki’s for dinner. Are you coming or not?"Izzy demands but then spies the Balmain jacket and pounces on it. You have one of these? They’re like two thousand dollars,”

Naya,“Maryse says, her tone skeptical and demanding an explanation.

I’m not lying Mum,"Naya protests. I met this mundane boy there, he was really loaded and we went out for a bit and he took me shopping once or maybe twice, okay fine three times and told me to knock myself out so I did,”

Yeah mum no harm in that,“Izzy defends me. I heard he was a really shitty guy so its justified,”

Nai you can’t go around making use of men’s emotions like that. What have I told you about playing with boys emotions,“Maryse says with a mischievous smile on her face. Naya squels and hugs Maryse. Then she rummages around her bag till she comes up with a two boxes, one that’s heavily dented and looks like a shoebox and another much smaller box, bearing Bvlgari’s logo on it. She tosses the shoebox at Izzy and then hands the smaller box to Maryse.

I know you fancy their perfumes so I picked one up for you while I was at Harrod’s,"Naya says, beaming at her mum. Maryse smiles and then leans over to kiss Naya’s cheek. Izzy screams in delight when she flips the top of the box and sees the black pair of shoes in it. Naya had managed to snag a pair of the infamous Pensamoi Christian Louboutin heels for Izzy, when she saw it in Harrods, she knew she had to get it for Izzy.

Oh you didn’t,"Izzy squeals excitedly as she tries the shoes on.

Of course I did idiot,"Naya says affectionately. Can I borrow them every once in a while though,”

Uh duh you can but I get to wear them out first,“Izzy says and Naya laughs. Izzy manages to put on the strappy pair of heels and then parades around the room for a bit while Naya and Maryse applaud her. They finish packing and then after waving goodbye to their mother, the make their way downstairs to where the boys were waiting. 

That’s all we do nowaday,"Alec grumbles. Wait for you two,”

I just got home today Alec, you’ve got a whole lot of waiting to do,“Naya teases. They make their way out of the Institute and then to Taki’s Diner. Naya eagerly orders chocolate chip pancakes and her favourite smoothie. Then they sit down and talk about the things that had been happening. Naya knew she have gotten a more extensive explanation from them because she knew they would have been more involved than anyone else.

So Valentine’s son eh?"Naya asks, sipping on her smoothies. Jace frowns sheepishly and nods. Naya finds that she doesn’t look at Jace any differently, even with the shocking news but he’s the same old Jace, albeit a little older and less carefree than when she had left for London. 

Relax. I’m still your sister and your still my brother,"Naya says with a light tone and Jace chuckles. Now that they’ve addressed the elephant in the room, the four talk excitedly about everything. They hang out at Taki’s till 12 when Alec starts panicking at the time and insists they leave. They catch a cab back to the Institute and go to sleep even later because they stay up and order pizza. Its nearly 3 when Maryse finds them lounging around and shoos them to bed. And that night Izzy and Naya sleep together in Naya’s room. Her bed is more than accommodating to fit the both of them and they figure there’s so much more to talk about but the minute their heads hit their pillows, they’re sound asleep.

Alec comes in a little while later, grumbling about getting nagged by Maryse to sound off at the two but softens and a small smile creeps on to his face at the sight of them sound asleep. He closes the door after him and then creeps back to his room.

[ikagrp]

Welcome, Lix! You’ve been accepted as your first choice of Abigail Cowen as Narcissa Xenos. Please send in your account within the next 24 hours.

Also, please follow these tags: ikag starter, Ikag social, ikaghh, ikag important, ikag task, ikagfollow, ikagunfollow and   ikag event

[ OOC INFORMATION ]

NAME / PRONOUNS | AGE | TIMEZONE

Lix, she/her, 25, EST.

YOUR ACTIVITY:

I work a physically hard job 3 days a week, so the other 4 I’m resting, stalking this website that’s about to get f'ed up in 3 days from now and keeping up with my people irl so it totally depends on my mood how active I am? Can be dead for days but also be on whenever, really!

ROLEPLAYING EXPERIENCE

Dang 9 years, time flies when you have fun.

IC INFORMATION

WHO ARE YOU BRINGING TO THE SHOW?

FACECLAIM: Abigail Cowen. Secondary choice: N/a.

NAME: Narcissa Aphrodite Xenos.

AGE: 20.

BIRTHDAY: February 18th, 1998.

OCCUPATION: Vlogger & studying online.

HOMETOWN: Papingo, Greece.

PETS: 2 baby turtles named Celia & Melani.

BIOGRAPHY:

TW: 9/11 & death.

It was a forbidden love type of situation, Ashley Johnson, raised by a single mother, and Darius Xenos, raised by a big family, met in college when the student exchange program struck. Ashley, from Australia, got sent to Greek with a few other fellow students she had no connection with whatsoever. But with the boy who came sitting next to her one day in English class, she did. His English was anything but close to okay, but it entertained Ashley to no end. And that entertainment he provided her with meant they’ve got to hang out more, she got to teach him English and he taught her Greek in return. Except, you’re guessing it already, their little masterclasses outside of class didn’t remain just that. Languages weren’t the only things exchanged. But feelings and innocent physical contact were too. All kept very secret, for he wasn’t allowed to bring any girls home, especially not the foreign kind. And by the time Ashley had to fly back to Australia again, their crush had bloomed into love - a big flame that wasn’t easy to be put out, so they promised to write each other letters until they were able to see each other again. Ashley would save up to earn enough to visit him next summer, until then; they were limited to writing. To being faithful, patient and trustworthy of each other. 

But letters were uneasy to keep secret, especially not in Darius’ big household full of siblings and parents that were on top of him all the time. They found out about his long distance relationship and forbid him to write any letters to Ashley any longer. For months Ashley didn’t give up writing though, feeling hopeful, she even saved enough to take the plane to Greece the very same day she graduated college. Knowing his whereabouts, she showed up at the Papaevangelou Hotel and like a movie with a happy ending, it was love at first sight all over again. By the end of that same Summer, he proposed to her and they got married before the end of the year. A year later, a baby was on the way - and they moved to Greek, for the sake of Ashley’s visa and so Darius’ family could take care of the baby when it was born. 

Narcissa Aphrodite Xenos, that was their daughter’s name, as Darius’ family business is a hotel where mainly daffodils grow and it was the kind of flowers he always gave to Ashley, stuck in her fiery red hair behind her ear and was the first word he taught her to his girlfriend-now-wife. Ashley had always been fond of the Goddess Aphrodite, and that’s how her middle name came to a stand. For three years they lived in a tiny apartment, Darius worked at the hotel, Ashley was an accountant who mainly worked at home, taking care of their daughter they both loved so dearly. There wasn’t a day they couldn’t live without her - but when a business opportunity for the hotel came up, a big company from New York willing to invest in the business, it was their job to travel over from Europe to the United States. Which meant Narcissa had to stay over at her father’s family for a week or so, depending on how long the meetings were going to last. 11 September, that was the day they were supposed to land in the city of dreams - but the plane never landed. On that day it was when Narcissa lost both her parents to a horrible terrorist attack.

The business opportunity got retracted a month after, her grandparents never got back to them as their heads were filled with grief and worry. Ashley’s mother had taken them to court on top of the loss, fighting over the custody of Narcissa - which she terribly lost due to both lack of money and the fact Narcissa was born in Europe. She was granted visitations, but Narcissa remained to live in the Papaevangelou Hotel with her father’s parents and his of age three siblings. Two brothers and a sister, who were leaving the house over the years as she grew up bouncing and running all over the place. Never has she ever had time enough to run around, even without sugar she had energy like a puppy, always wanting attention - always wanting to play! She barely cried, nor was she a difficult child. She grew up bilingual, as her grandfather was a well-spoken Greek man who threw himself into learning English from a young age, for the tourists that came into the hotel ever since he was a young child. He continued to teach her what Ashley already had started, both in honor of her and the fact he thought it was never too early to learn as much as possible. By the time she was supposed to go to kindergarten, her grandparents made the decision to home-school her, as her aunt was a teacher herself.

As she grew up she helped around the hotel throughout the days and worked on school during the evenings and the weekends. And when her teenage years hit, she could be found outside the gates of the hotel, hanging around with others that were around her age. Narcissa made lots of friends, both tourists and the locals she made her impression with. She’s a true goof that likes to be loud and attract attention, isn’t shy about anything and speaks whatever’s on her mind. This caused her to be in an argument with any of her family members at least once a week - which was typical Greek behavior, or so she got told. Especially when she started to mature she clashed with her family often enough, leaving her to wander around Papingo, either on her own or with the friends she’s made in town. She often even hung around with customers of the hotel, showing them around town - and finding interest in the women especially. At the age of sixteen, she got her drivers license for a motorbike - after often enough stealing her grandfather’s for a ride throughout town illegally. And when she got her own vehicle, she drove her friends around, some of them a bit older than her own age. They were the kind that weren’t from Greek, and had no intention in sticking around - which gave Narcissa the opportunity to start exploring her sexuality. 

It was no secret Narcissa had a likings for the ladies as well, her family found out when she came home on her eighteenth birthday with a girl, kissing her in the front yard, not having a single idea there was a surprise birthday waiting for her. A small shock for the family - that wore off over time and even started to accept when they learned she was interested in both genders and could still marry a man someday, as old-fashioned they were. When she started visiting bars, she came to discover a show that often played on one of the TVs, an MTV show called I Kissed A Girl. It definitely pulled Narcissa’s attention, but she was too naive to even think of joining when she was still eighteen. But two years later, and watching the show non-stop just as talking about it to her friends, she got nudged to finally audition for the show - it was in Europe after all. Not too far away from her family, which she could visit anytime. 

RELATIONSHIPS:

Half niece to Izzy Hallow.

FOR RETURNING CHARACTERS ONLY:

-

ANYTHING ELSE:

-

[angstysebfan]

Okay I think I'm gonna hurt my own heart with this but hey, it's angst. Could you please write something where reader and Bucky are married, have a child or children and still work as Avengers. Maybe one day reader is sent to go on a mission and Bucky stays home on dad duty. Reader's mission goes badly and she doesn't make it home, leaving him all alone 😭.

(I may request an alternative ending to this because I'm a soft bean).

Oookay can I change up my second request that I sent, please (I've decided my heart can't handle the horrible ending I suggested 😂. Yes I'm a wuss). So mission still goes awry and they think reader is dead because they don't find her body. So Bucky is still told horrible news that she is dead. Maybe a month later he gets a call from a hospital that says they have her and have finally identified who she is and she's okay. (2/2)

--

Lol!! I understand not wanting the angsty ending. I might write angst, but I hate writing angsty endings... lmao! Hope you like this. WARNING: MENTIONS OF BLOOD AND INJURIES.

--

Be Careful

Bucky kissed you passionately, not wanting to let you go. You pull back and give him a smile, “I’ll be home before you know it. Take care of our little bean while his mommy kicks some ass,” you say as you walk backwards away.

“I will. Be careful. I love you, Doll,” Buck says with a smile.

You blow him a kiss before you climb the ramp to the quinjet before going on a solo mission. You turn back and look at your husband, “I love you more!” you shout before entering the quinjet.

Bucky watches as the quinjet lifts off and flies you away, until you are finally out of sight. He turns and goes back into the compound and into your shared apartment, where your 8 month old son is blissfully asleep in his crib. Bucky quickly checks on him before going back out into the common room, knowing FRIDAY will let him know if the baby wakes up.

--

It’s been several hours and there has been no word from you, and Bucky was starting to get nervous. You were supposed to check in an hour ago, but Steve told him to not panic. Bucky tried to distract himself with caring for your son. He fed him, played with him a little bit, gave him a bath and put him to bed. He hoped you would have been home before he went to bed, but there was still no word. 

Bucky sat in bed, thinking about what could have happened. He tried to think about how something had gone wrong, and you had to find a safehouse, and it was taking a little longer. He knew something was wrong, but when Steve knocked on the door, and Bucky saw his face, he knew it was worse than he could imagine. 

Wanda came to watch the baby, while Bucky went with Steve, Sam, and Nat to the location where they lost signal from you. When they landed outside of the abandoned HYDRA base, they search and eventually find your empty quinjet about a half mile away. 

Bucky ran over to it, calling for you in desperation. It was dark, but with the lights on the quinjet, the team was horrified to not only not find you, but see a lot of blood around the inside quinjet. Bucky thought he was either going to throw up or pass out. Nat seeing his reaction, pulled Bucky out of the quinjet so he can breath some fresh air. 

Sam looked at Steve sadly, “This is a lot of blood, Steve. If this is hers, there is no way Y/N is...” Sam couldn’t bare to finish his sentence. Steve took a sample with a piece equipment Tony and Bruce created, which showed that the blood did indeed belong to you. He sighs defeatedly and looks out of the quinjet where Nat was holding a sobbing Bucky.

He walks out and looks at Nat, “Take him back to the compound and have Tony and yourself come back when the sun is up. Sam and I are going to continue to search the area,” he says. 

Bucky pulls away from Nat, “I’m not leaving. I am finding my wife,” he says.

“Buck, you have to go back to the compound and take care of your son. You aren’t emotionally able to handle this mission. If the roles were reversed you would say the same to me,” Steve said, putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. 

Bucky choked on a sob, but nodded, knowing Steve was right. Nat pulled Bucky to the other quinjet and set off toward the compound. Bucky was silent the whole ride, praying to whatever god there was that you were still alive. He knew he was going to make whoever hurt you pay no matter what, but he needed you to be alive.

--

The next day Wanda stayed with Bucky to help with his son, as she knew Bucky was distracted waiting to hear back from the team. When he saw the quinjet land he ran out, hoping that they found you. Steve walked out and looked devastated and like he was crying. Bucky took a deep breath as Steve walked up to him, “Buck...”

Bucky nodded, knowing you were dead. “I’m sorry. We couldn’t even recover her body,” Steve said, fighting back tears.

Bucky took a deep breath, wiping the tears that threatened to fall. He looked behind Steve and saw the rest of the team crying, all feeling the devastation of losing their friend. Bucky took a deep breath as Wanda brought his son out to him, knowing Bucky needed him. 

Bucky looked at his hansom son, who looks just like you, with Bucky’s eyes. How was ever going to be able to explain to him how he failed to keep his mother safe? How would he explain how amazing his mother was and how much she loved him, and Bucky let her go out alone and get herself killed? 

He forced himself to swallow the sob that threatened to come out when looking at his son and grabbed him from Wanda and held him close. After a few moments and walked away from team, not able to handle seeing them distraught. He went to his apartment and sat on the couch with his son in his arms. He looked at the big smile on his sons face and let the sob out. 

“I’m so sorry,” he cried.

--

After a funeral a few days later, Bucky was benched from missions, though he was pretty sure he was going to retire now anyway. He didn’t want to make his son an orphan, plus he was in no mood to go out and save the world. He tried to act normal for his son, but every night he cried himself to sleep while he held your pillow, which still smelled like you. 

He constantly apologized to you for letting you get hurt and killed. He had made a vow to protect you and he failed. He would never forgive himself for that. He knew his son would never forgive him either once he was old enough to understand. The team tried to be there, especially Steve, but Bucky was pushing everyone away. They all understood, but was worried about him. 

It’s been a month and Bucky was not doing well. Nat stepped in and started taking care of the baby. Bucky fell into a deeper depression then he thought possible, and finally asked for help to take care of his son. He felt he didn’t deserve to have his son. Steve had never been so worried for his friend and didn’t know what to do.

Tony and Sam took lead in looking for the people who did this, and went on a mission to another HYDRA base. Once they entered the facility they went to find files to see if they could get information, but what they found surprised them even more.

--

Bucky was lying in bed, looking at the ceiling. This was life for him recently, and he was ok with it, since he obviously deserved it. Your death, he concluded, was punishment for his transgressions as the Winter Soldier. He did start to take better care of his son, but still required a lot of help. 

While lying there, Steve came in, not bothering to knock. He rushed over to Bucky. “Buck, there is news,” Steve said urgently.

Bucky let out a sigh, “I thought revenge was what I wanted, but I don’t have the energy to find them and kill them. It won’t bring her back,” Bucky said sadly.

“No, Buck... Tony and Sam... they... they found her,” Steve said.

Bucky sat up and looked at his friend, “You mean they found her body?” he asked, hoping that’s not what he meant.

Steve shook his head, “She is alive, Pal. She is down in med bay, and she is alive, awake, and asking for you.”

Bucky was never up and out of bed faster, running out of the room and toward the elevator to get down there. He had to see it for himself. Once he got down to med bay he ran down the hall to where Tony was standing.

“Woah Barnes, you have to stop and take a deep breath before you go in. She needs to remain calm, you got it?” Tony said quietly.

Bucky nodded and slowly walked in and saw you lying in the bed, bruised, bloody, but alive. He thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest. “Y/N?” he asked, still not believing his eyes. 

You looked at him and immediately relaxed, “Bucky,” you said in a raspy voice. 

Bucky walked over to your bed and grabbed your outstretched hand. “Baby? Is... is it really you?” he asked.

You let a watery laugh escape, “It’s me baby. I’m sorry I’m late,” you said. 

You pull Bucky into a hug and you both cried into each others shoulder. Wanda brought your son into the room, and you both held him and each other tightly. Bucky swore nothing and no one would ever take you away from him again. You were home, safe, and alive. He was going to make sure you always were.

--

Oh i loved this one! Thank you for requesting it! Hope you liked it!

Permanent Taglist:  @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @arundhati1609 @amandamdiehl​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @its-izzys​ @roserose26​ @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8​ @bestofbucky @white-wolf1940 @loser-alert @jassy2101

[imgilmoregirl]

A Rose of the Forbiden Love

AO3 Link

Notes: So, this fic is going to be finished this week. Another to chapters more for what I have planned, although knowing me it could turn out into three chapter, but let's see what happens... But this WIP is going to be finish until Sunday and I'm really happy about it. Thanks to everyone who is reading. You are lovely people <3.

Chapter Fifteen

Gold knew a call from his mother meant no good. Belle had been spending a lot of time with him at the hotel lately and he was looking for a job, so with all of this, he hadn't had much time to think about visiting Fiona, which was a huge problem because she freaked out if he didn't appear at her house at least once a week. He had driven there already anticipating the moment of leaving and planning to stop by Rose's flat to see her. She had been distant ever since she found out he and Belle were her parents, but he understood that she needed time, in fact that was why he hadn't looked for her until now, however Rose was working with her mother again and he felt like he needed to have a serious talk to her about the bad things she was saying to Belle.

Even if he comprehended her situation and knew it was hard for her to grown up in an orphanage, Adam also knew Belle wouldn't have given her up if she didn't have any other choice. She was such a lovable person, who treated her adopted children so well, that he couldn't imagine her leaving their baby in front of some strangers' house for no reason. If only he knew that she got pregnant with his child, he would have left it all behind quickier, without even thinking twice. Adam wished he could have been the father Rosalie needed when she was a child, but he had the chance of being the one she still wanted now and he wasn't going to give it up just because she was upset right now.

Taking a deep breath, he entered his old house, seeing the caretaker dusting his mother's old wine collection before she pointed at the living room and he made his way towards it. Fiona was sat by the piano, moving her fingers through it without really playing anything, her Bible set by her side on the stool alongside her golden cane.

"Mrs. Potts called me saying you were requesting my presence," Adam started.

She slowly looked up at him, not surprise in seeing her soon by the doorstep, but surely feeling stupefied to see him wearing a normal suit and no priest clothes. Fiona had been hoping for the best, even wishing he had gotten sick or something else, but even if she still needed to hear it from his own lips, she already knew.

"I went to church yesterday and you weren't there," Fiona said very slowly. "Why?"

"I resigned, I've told you I would do so, and no, there is no coming back," he replied, careful with his answer but no less firm than he knew he should be with the hard mother he had. "I'm marrying Belle and we've already reconsummated our relationship."

He knew he probably should have kept the last part for himself, but Gold wasn't a fool, he knew that if he hadn't said that, his mother would have dragged him back to the church and asked the new priest to write a new letter to the Vatican saying it all had been a terrible mistake. She had already played too much with his life and now was time for him to do what he wanted.

"No," Fiona cried, standing up and taking a few shaken steps into his direction. "You can't do this with me, you can't!"

A sob erupted from her throat and she fell to the floor, gasping for air as Gold rushed to hold her body. She was coughing repeatedly, a hand pressed firmly to her heart and he didn't quite know what to do, because despite of some flus and another clinical things, that had weakened her through the years, Fiona hadn't been ill at all for a long time.

"Mother," Gold exclaimed in despair, before screaming: "Mrs. Potts call a doctor!"

As satisfying to her ego as having a job again was, Rose missed Izzy too much. She was just a small baby and she hated to have to leave bottles for the nanny to feed her instead of doing it herself, but she knew she was building a better future for both of them, so she tried to relish in it. The nights, however had become her favourite part of the day, the nanny stayed until she had taken a bath and then she spent some quality time cuddling her little before Izzy fell asleep. She thought herself to be lucky because her daughter had a great sleep routine and was only awakening at each three hours for her little snacks and sometimes Sabine would warm up a bottle for her in order to let Rose get some uninterrupted rest.

That night she was tendering Izzy when she heard the knock on her door. Rosalie was feeling decided to not give her address to anyone when she got enough money to move out, but then she opened the door and her eyes got wide at the sight of Roland by her doorstep, eyes swollen and watery.

"Hey, are you alright? What are you doing here?"

"Ivy is dead," Roland murmured.

Gasping, Rosalie allowed him inside and closed the door, holding her daughter closer. She might not like Ivy because of everything she did to her, but Rose didn't wish her dead, she could never do it, actually she was praying that the poor woman could be cured of her currently mental instabilities.

"How?"

"Overdose," Roland said with a blank face, taking a seat and folding his hands above his lap. "She took all of her mother's pills."

Rose blinked. She couldn't quite understand the reasons why someone would want to end its own life, but she had never felt desperate enough to do such a thing either. Poor Ivy, she must be really bad to make this decision and the fact her relationship with Roland was one of the things that most bothered her, made Rose feel slightly guilty.

"Why?"

"She was unhappy," the boy shrugged before burying his face in his own hands. "God, I feel so guilty."

"No, babe, this is not your fault," Rose said, laying Izzy back on the basket and kneeling in front of him, pulling his hands away, so she could look into his eyes. "You said yourself that she was already a bit off when she left the country."

He shook his head. Roland had never loved Ivy and he truly got mad at her when he discovered that she didn't love him either and lied about the baby, just to make him marry her, because that was what her mother expected her to do. He swallowed, thinking that Belfrey might have been the biggest reason why she got so ill and then decided to die.

"Victoria says I should have taken care of her better," he whispered, brushing the hair away from the girl's face. "Oh, Rose, I'm such a jerk. I was a real bastard with both you and her."

"I have to agree," she answered with a small chuckle. "But her death is not on you, ok?"

Roland nodded, then pressed his forehead against hers and kissed the top of Rose's nose. He couldn't understand why she was still giving him a change after all the wrong he did in her life, but he was glad she was still willing to give it a go. He looked at the basket, seeing that little Izzy seemed to grow more impatiant a any second without anyone's attention.

"Can I hold her?"

Rose agreed picking the baby up and laying her in his arms. Just to fell the warmth of another body, Izzy stopped fussing and he smiled, because she had that magical ability of making everyone smile.

"Hello, ladybug, you're the only light in daddy's life."

There was a beeping coming from somewhere and Rose stood up, looking around until she found her cell phone.

"Hello, this is Rosalie Weaver."

"Rose, it's Father Gold... Your father. I - I need you to come to your grandmother's house. I think she is dying."

Rose didn't have much option but to leave Izzy with Roland while she took a taxi and went straight to her grandmother's mansion. She knew Fiona was an old woman, however he was always so firm in everything she did, so fierce and decided that it was hard for Rose to believe that she could die this way, so suddenly. Mrs. Potts received her when she arrived, telling Rose she should go upstairs to the master bedroom and that she did, finding her father pacing around the hallway.

"How is she?"

"Not well, she refuses to go the hospital," he said.

"Why?"

He shook his head, as if his mother's way of seeing this was completely impossible for other people to understand.

"She says if she God must take her, then she wants to be in the comfort of her own house."

It was madness, Rosalie concluded, there were people out there who could actually save her life and Fiona didn't want to be checked. But, she thought that if Fiona was so sure she was going to die, she must know what she was suffering of and was pretty aware of her chances of surviving here or anywhere else, however it still felt wrong for Rose.

"But, maybe there is something that can be done to help her," the girl insisted.

"Oh, my darling, she doesn't want any help," her father assured, cupping her cheek affectionally, which made Rose realise how much she missed his company. "Come in, she wants to see you."

Nodding, Rose followed him. The room was large, full of dark furniture and Fiona was laid in a huge bed, comfortably nestled against some pillows. A weak smile, very different from the wicked one she used to wear all the time, appeared in her lips and she stretched out a hand in Rose's direction.

"Rosalie."

"Fiona..." She murmured taking her grandmother's hand in hers and sitting beside her on the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm going to leave this world soon, but I'm glad I could see you one last time."

She could feel her father's presence behind her and it was good to know he was there, because Rosalie felt very much like she was about to start crying. Fiona scared the hell out her, but she could be a tender woman when she wanted to and once her mad threats of taking her child away ended, she proved herself to be a great company that Rose didn't want to lose just now. She had always wanted a family and thinking of losing a member of it, really hurt.

"Don't say that, allow us to take you to the hospital."

"No, no, I don't want doctors attempting to open me and fix anything," Fiona replied, stubborn as always.

That was when the bedroom's door was open to show Belle French. Rose's eyes got wide at the sight of her, because she knew how much her mother and Fiona hated each other so she was the last person she expected to see in there.

"I just got your message, I - " she started to say to Gold when she laid eyes on Fiona and Rose.

The old woman's current state seemed to surprise Belle as much as it surprised her when she arrived, because she stopped in the middle of the sentence and got a hold of Gold's arm as if to help her keep up on her feet.

"Hello, Isabelle," Fiona said, very slowly.

"What is happening in here?"

"My mother is dying and she wanted to see you," Adam explained, caressing her back.

But Belle didn't appear to buy the idea. No, Fiona had mistreated her too many times and she thought that if she called her there was maybe to humiliated her one last time, because she couldn't see any other reason to explain it all.

"Why?" Belle questioned aloud.

"It is time for the truth," Fiona shrugged, still holding Rosalie's hand security in hers. "I'm really thankful for your friendship, Rose, but I must tell you I've tried to poison your heart against your mother. She is not as bad as I said and I've never offered her any help."

"I know," Rose confessed. "I mean, I felt like you weren't telling me the truth."

Fiona nodded, looking at the three of them and finally understanding the wrong she had done. Seeing her son dedicating his life to the church would be her eternal dream, but it was hers, it had never been his and thanks to her selfishness she had taken away from him his only chance of raising his daughter.

"Here it is the family that should have been together from the start. I'm sorry that I've torn you apart," she whispered weakly. "Do you forgive me, my boy?"

"You know that I do."

"What about you, child?" She asked Rose.

The girl pressed a soft kiss to her grandmother's cheek, bathing her with a few tears as she waved her head positively.

"You regret your mistakes and I'm not one to judge them."

Feeling utterly grateful, Fiona turned to Belle French the maid who had fallen in love with her son, the woman she most hated during her life and the one whose forgiveness mattered more to her. She could never take back what she had taken from her, but she could give Rose the truth and that she did, now it was up to her to decide Fiona go in peace or not. And she had all the rights to refuse it.

"Isabelle?"

"I - " Belle swallowed. "I do."

There was a brief, slow nod and then a smile stretched in Fiona's lips as she closed her eyes. Then, she was gone.