#i couldn’t even get my usual weekend nap because of this
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Nerd Gojo Headcannons
A/N: I’m so sorry for my lack of activeness. please forgive me🙏🙏 I’ve had so much stuff with school and yesterday was my birthday so my schedule has been packed. I wanted to give you guys something small for now so my accounts not collecting dust, but i promise more will be coming in days prior!! Love you all!💕
Nerd!Gojo who is still completely shocked you chose him out of everyone on campus. Gojo was a known geek, someone who got excited about the latest comic and his grades never fell below an A+. Well lucky for him, you found the fact he was so nerdy to be extremely cute.
Nerd!Gojo who loves planning adorable dates with you, but it’s never commonplace. He will set up picnics right in front of a beautiful lake, taking you to a pottery class and giggling at how dumb your ‘masterpieces’ look, or simply creating a candlelight dinner in your apartment.
Nerd!Gojo who adores you and he makes it extremely known. For someone so shy when the two of you first met, he definitely has warmed up to you. Before, he was too scared to even stand next to you because he was afraid he would slip up and embarrass himself, but now he never leaves your side. You can’t exit the same room with him without giving him a long kiss goodbye, even if you're just grabbing ice from the hallway. Hugs, kisses, handholding, cuddles, you name it, Gojo loves it.
Nerd!Gojo who isn’t the best at taking care of himself. He often stays up late to finish homework or a project that could easily be done the next day, but unfortunately he’s a try hard and will force himself to stay awake until it’s done. Before you, he relied on energy drinks to keep him up and when all of the work was done, he would sleep the weekend away, barely leaving his dorm. Even now, you have to scold him for his unhealthy studying habits.
You were peacefully chatting with your friends, going on about the tests and assignments being piled on top of each other. As you spoke, your group’s eyes shift behind you, but you couldn’t turn before two lanky arms were sliding around your waist. Soft lips gently landed on your exposed neck and in your peripheral vision you saw a puff of white hair. Of course it was Gojo. Your friends did not hold back their cheeky looks, some of them turning and looking off in another direction while muffaling their giggles.
Blush rose to your cheeks instantly and you heard your boyfriend speak up,”Hi Baby.” He’s obviously tired, his voice groggier than normal, but he still has the energy to cover you in his love. You shift your body to face him, cupping his cheek, and you get a good look at his face. Like you expected, he looks on the brink of passing out. His usually bright eyes were a bit dimmer and there were vague shadows coating his under eyes. His own hand reached up and held the one of his face, turning his head to plant tiny kisses to your palm.
“Have you been sleeping?” Gojo sees the disappointed frown on your face, because you already knew the answer. He sighed, leaning into your touch,”Maybe.” The short response was enough to finalize your question. It didn’t help that he had shut his eyes and was practically sleeping against your palm. Turning to your friends, you excused yourself, dragging a half-asleep Gojo on your side the entire time you left.
Nerd!Gojo who knows he should listen to your stern lectures on why he needs to stop doing all nighters, but even if he felt like shit after, without fail the two of you would cuddle on his bed and take a long cat nap. You were never as tired as Gojo, so most of the time you would be awake, reading, or scrolling on your phone, while Gojo slept soundly on your lap.
Nerd!Gojo who may or may not do your homework if you leave it out. He tells himself he shouldn’t, since you tell him it’s not his responsibility to do your own work, but he can’t help it. You’re his girlfriend after all and it would be mean of Gojo to not fill out the first half of the paper and maybe the back half if he has time. (He does it regardless)
Nerd!Gojo who nearly cries when you get him a figurine of his favorite superhero character. He constantly gushes about how cool they are and doesn’t notice how you aren’t even listening to the topic, just focusing on how his eyes light up with pure joy. You have adapted to Gojo’s interest, never denying a trip to the movies with him to see a new action film he has been freaking out about. Holidays are like Gojo’s heaven because you always end up getting him another item for his very large collection. Each time you are smothered in kisses then dragged to his room to watch him rearrange his overcrowded stock.
Nerd!Gojo who is so thankful for you and some nights, wakes up to watch you sleep calmly. His fingers rake over your face and images of your future together flash in his head.
#x reader#⊹ ࣪ ˖ ᡣ𐭩carmi’s headcans ༝༚༝༚#@ink-stainedkiss#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanfic#comfort#cute#fluff#gojo satoru x you#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#nerdjo#jujutsu gojo#gojo x you#sexy nerd#sexy geek#headcanon#drabbles#jjk gojo#gojou satoru x reader#need that#sexy babygirl#<3 mwah#i’m back#writers on tumblr
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It somehow kind of reminds you of the Trussian farce that happened in the United meme Kingdom around September (too) last year. Something that you could have easily avoided, because you were personally not into it. And it could have been funny, if not tragic, if the people—or, in the current case, someone—you care for didn’t have to feel the burn from the downside.
Babe, I hope you’re okay.
#i couldn’t even get my usual weekend nap because of this#did the fucking organizers employ a shaman or rely on a professional meteorologist to foresee what would happen?#I want to scold them#misc
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for worse
jake seresin x reader
wc - 5.5k
warnings - ANGST !! blood, injuries to reader, mentions cleaning up said injuries, arguments + discussions of chronic pain
disclaimer - ANY BLANK/AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED!! I also DO NOT give permission for any of my works to be copied, shared, compiled, translated or posted onto other sites!!
a/n - this is pure angst. i have no clue where this came from but I was so inspired and this just wrote itself.
reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated!!
It’s been a long few weeks for the both of you, not having much time to spend with each other. Having two very busy schedules often meant that one of you missed the other, and heartbreakingly, it was commonly by just a few minutes. Jake’s schedule was vastly more complicated than your own, with the possibility of receiving deployment papers or new missions, occasionally with almost no advance notice. Thankfully, the pair of you hadn’t had to worry about working through the complexities that came with being in a relationship during deployments yet, something that Jake was especially grateful for. He saw himself spending the rest of his life with you, if you let him, but knew a poorly timed deployment had the potential to ruin the longevity of your relationship. That is something that nags at the back of Jake’s mind each and every time he climbs into his plane.
Jake was deeply relieved to be heading home. The entire week had dragged, countless new training exercises and protocols had made for a physically and emotionally draining week. Heading home to spend the weekend with you was exactly what he needed. Still a relatively new relationship, Jake was uncharacteristically nervous, he was eager to take the next step, moving in together, but was keenly aware of just how flighty and generally anxious you were. Moving too fast with you would be heartbreaking, simply because he knew he could lose you, far easier than he gained you.
Pulling into his driveway, the dark house is highly concerning to Jake. Frowning, he checks his watch, and then his phone, acutely aware that he could’ve taken longer on base than he planned, only to find it was 6pm, the agreed upon time. He had text during his lunch break, a quick conversation that informed you that he’d be a bit later than anticipated, and your immediate response reassuring him that you’d be there anyway. What had happened in those six hours that you couldn’t let him know you wouldn’t be here to greet him.
A quick sweep of his house, and no sign of you. No keys, no shoes kicked off by the door, every room empty. Alarm bells start ringing, Jake knows you. You’re not one to not follow through on plans, you’d always text, call or anything you could to get the message through, that’s one of the first things Jake loved about you.
A rather rapid drive over to your apartment is not the calming result Jake was expecting. Actually, it’s far more alarming to have no response at the door, finding it void of you, not even tucked up in bed for an after work nap, like you had been known to do. Jake was half expecting to find you asleep in your apartment, but it being empty, that was far more concerning. It wasn’t like you to just disappear.
On the way back to his house, Jake swung by the café, wondering if you’d picked up an extra shift, and had just forgotten to let him know. His heart clenched when you weren’t there. Your colleagues told him they’d seen you leave at 4pm, your usual finishing time on Fridays, so you could spend extra time with Jake over the weekend. They too were concerned, the usually confident aviator, someone they’d grown to love having around, now having cracks in his carefree persona, his worry for you nearing panic.
Jake’s shoulders felt heavier when he returned home to no signs of you. The worry of not knowing where you were, weighing down on his heart, and his mind.
It was now 7PM.
Jake was still alone in his house, with no communication from you, and all he wanted was to know if you were okay or not.
With still no word from you, Jake decided to head to bed. While he was deeply concerned for you, he also knew he couldn’t stay up all night, he needed to sleep if he was going to look for you.
Trudging up the stairs, Jake’s heart grew heavier and heavier. His concern for you was growing with every hour that passed without any news from you. Exhaling deeply, Jake turned to his bedroom, pausing in the doorway to look at his bed, the side where you should be sleeping.
Brows furrowed, Jake’s eyes scanned the room again. Something was off, something was different from usual, a fact he knew due to his military level of attention to detail.
The right-hand bedside table. Your side.
A slight glisten caught Jake’s eye.
Cautiously approaching to get a better look, only to trip over something, stumbling and grabbing the bed to stay upright. Muttering grumbles under his breath, Jake looked down to see what he tripped over. A pair of boots. More specifically, your boots. His eyes widened at the realisation, eyes darting to the bedside table. Your keys. He knew they were yours from the cowboy hat keychain, the one he bought you from his last trip to Texas, something to remind you of him always.
Heart pounding in his chest, Jake rushes around the end of the bed, calling out for you, turning on countless lights, searching anywhere for you in the diminishing daylight.
The panic in Jake was rising, you weren’t downstairs, and he only had a few rooms left upstairs to check. A slight thud from his en-suite bathroom had him rushing back to his room, nudging the bathroom door open with caution, unsure of what he would find.
From the warm glow of the bedroom lights, Jake can see the outline of your body, curled up on the cold bathroom tiles, knees pulled tight to your chest, head resting against them. That relief he felt was short-lived.
Something was wrong.
Blinded by the immense relief of finding you, Jake pushes the door open further, a forceful shove which causes the door to slam into the wall, making you flinch at the sudden noise. "How long have you been home?! I’ve been looking around for you like crazy! I went to your place and you weren’t there, I even went to the café looking for you!” Jake’s tone is demanding, laced with anger and frustration that you must have been here all along and just never bothered to let him know.
Jake scoffed at your silence, you didn’t even look up at him, instead having remained staring at the ground like had been doing for who knows how long. There’s a quiet mumble that fills the otherwise silent bathroom, almost going unheard by an exasperated Jake. Spinning on his heels, he crosses the short distance between you both, and crouches down directly in front of you, taking a softer approach this time.
“Hey, darlin’. Look at me. Say that again.”
You swallow thickly, looking up, but not at Jake, instead straight past him, fixating on a tile in the shower wall.
“I uh- I can’t- We need to break up Jake.”
Blindsided by this, Jake mentally runs through the past few months, ensuring he didn’t miss any important dates, but your birthday and anniversary were still months away. Things were going well in your relationship, Jake was ready to ask you to move in next month, he’d even cleared a section of his wardrobe for you.
He’d clearly misread the situation.
Now deeply hurting, Jake’s heart dropped, he never wanted to hear those words from your mouth. Not ever. “So you just made that decision for me? You’re not even going to dignify me with that information while looking at me?” The hurt is clear in his voice, his southern drawl seeping through with the intensity of emotion.
You simply shrug, knowing if you look at him, you’d break down. Jake is- was the best relationship you ever had, and that’s why it needs to end now.
Clearing his throat that was thick with emotion, Jake tried to hide just how blindsided you’d made him, choosing to fight for you “Whether you like it or not, I'm not giving up on us. I’m not giving up on you.” Sighing deeply, eyes darting across your face, seeking to catch your eye line, searching for any hint of your emotion. “You gonna tell me where this is coming from? I can’t fix this if you don’t talk to me darlin’.”
Another half-hearted shrug.
Jake nudges you gently, getting rapidly more frustrated when you don’t respond to him at all, but still mindful of your body, and any sensitive areas he was aware of, that was always his priority. You, making sure you were safe and well.
One rather loud clear of his throat has your eyes on him, still refusing to meet his eyes, but this was progress and Jake could work with this. “Darlin’… I can’t fix this, I can’t fix us, if you don’t start talking to me.” At your continued silence, Jake raises an eyebrow expectantly, aware of how emotionally fragile you could be right now, and not wanting to push you much more if he could help it. “Cry, yell, whatever - I'm not gonna leave your side. Especially not until you talk to me.”
Uncharacteristically, you lash out, emotions bubbling over, this conversation not going the way you’d planned it in your head. You should’ve known better. Jake was always one to fight for what he loved. One to fight for you. “Why do you always think there is something to fix?! Am I that big of a burden to you? Hell, what if this is something you cant fix, huh? What then?”
Eyes widened in pure shock at your outburst, Jake shifts to sit in front of you, back pressed against the shower door mirroring you, his feet either side of yours. “You wanna try that again darlin’? Don’t think I didn’t catch that but about calling yourself a burden.” Jake shakes his head in disbelief, it seemed that no matter how many times he reassured you that you were never a burden to him, it never got through to you, you would always view yourself that way.
Now you just shook your head and shrugged weakly, the fight going out of you. Another alarming thing to Jake. “I'm here and I'm not leaving or letting you change the subject. Now talk to me.”
Your eyes dart away from Jake’s face, back to the same tile on the shower wall. Another shrug, to which Jake nudges your knee with his own, clearing his throat again, this time to try and coax you to start talking to him, to go back to being open with him, instead of closing yourself off to him and your relationship.
“You don't deserve someone like me. You deserve someone better.” You breathe out shakily, tears brimming in your eyes, as you finally make direct eye contact with Jake. “Someone like you, shouldn’t be stuck and burdened with someone like me. You deserve so much better than me Jake. I’m sorry I can’t be that for you, but I can’t keep doing this. We need to break up. It’s what’s best for you.”
Now you’d given Jake an idea of where your head was at, what your thought process was, and how he could try and fix this. Even if it meant he’d lose your relationship, the one thing Jake would not lose was you. He just couldn’t.
Attempting a different approach, Jake exhaled slowly, resting a hand on your knee, taking note of you still in your work uniform. You had to have been sitting here alone, in the dark, for hours. "Hey darlin’, look at me properly. I’m here, I'm listening. You can tell me anything. You know that.”
Jake tilted his head slightly, watching you carefully, slowly coaxing you to answer him in any way he knew, “I uh-…” Stopping and trailing off several times in quick succession is only adding to Jake’s concern for your wellbeing, but giving him a better idea of how to get through to you.
Squeezing your knee gently, Jake gained your eyes dart back on his, wide and fearful, a change from the closed off and disassociated look you’d had before. “You don't have to pretend to be fine with me.”
“I feel like the pain is all I am anymore.”
That was not what Jake was expecting at all. Sighing heavily at the idea that you felt like your pain has taken over your entire life, Jake squeezed your knee again, trying to give you as much comfort as you’d let him. With no verbal response from Jake, you carry on, “I know it's selfish, but sometimes I wish someone would just take care of me. So I can just shut off, and not have to deal with everything else for once, y’know?” Sniffling, the first tears spill down your cheeks, “No one ever helped me when I needed it. so, I just try to do my best to keep all that to myself. I don’t want to be a burden Jake. But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t… I can't continue this relationship based on half-truths and hiding my feelings. You deserve better than that Jake, and it breaks my heart that I can’t be that person for you.”
Jake’s eyes burn with emotion at your words, you were constantly putting others before your own well-being, even if it meant leaving your relationship. Leaving him. And it breaks his heart that someone has made you feel like your pain is too big a burden to share, even with those you love. “I know you feel like you're alone and I'm not going to invalidate that. But I can tell you that I'm here. and I know there are other people who want to help if you'll let them.”
Sniffling and nodding reluctantly, you blink back more tears, looking properly at Jake for the first time in this conversation, finding his eyes glassy, with nothing but love and care for you in his green eyes. Nodding himself at finally getting through to you, Jake smiles softly, “Darlin’, I can't promise you that you aren't going to have any more hardship or pain. But what I can promise you, is that I'm always going to be right here to get you through it. Always.”
Bottom lip trembling, you shakily reach a hand out to Jake, seeking his comfort, resigning from your fight to break up, craving him to hold you. He always does know the right thing to say. Assessing your body language, Jake takes your outstretched hand, moving to sit next to you, a strong arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to his body, “It’s okay darlin’. Just let it all out.”
A sob gets stuck in your throat, choking on it as you try and fail to take a deep breath. Jake’s thumb rubbing soft, soothing circles across the bare skin of your arm is all it takes for the sobs to start. Finally releasing all of your pent up emotions, but majoritively of relief. Relief that Jake would never give up on you or your relationship without a fight, and luckily for you, he always knew the right thing to say, the right way to say it, and always, always had plenty of fight in him when it came down to you.
As your heavy sobs continue, your breathing becomes more erratic, something which Jake seems to instinctively pick up on, soft muttering of reassurances, and pressing soft kisses to the crown of your head, stroking your hair softly, “It's okay, deep breaths. That's it, in and out.” Helping to get your breathing back under control, and your sobs to ease into an occasional sniffle, Jake continues to pepper soft kisses across your cheeks and forehead, “There you go, that’s better darlin’. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
Your fist is clenched tightly into Jake’s shirt, tears silently streaming down your cheeks, a soft whine leaving your lips when Jake tries to coax you away from his neck, to get a proper look at you. He smiles softly, brushing the last tears from your cheeks gently with his thumbs, “I know darlin’, but you gotta let me up. You need something to eat and then some sleep, okay?”
Another soft whine pulls a chuckle from Jake, who gently moves you off his lap, allowing him to stand. Moving to turn on the bathroom light, a glinting fragment catches his eye. Scanning the rest of the bathroom, there’s several more fragments glistening by you on the tiled floor, and a few scattered across the counter.
Jake quickly flips the light switch, illuminating the bathroom in a soft glow. The bathroom counter is bare, various objects scattered across the far side of the bathroom. The glistening Jake saw was in fact various sized fragments of the countertop mirror.
Upon closer inspection, several fragments were covered in small amounts of blood. Panic stricken that you could be hurt, Jake is immediately back by your side, eyes darting over you, scanning your body for any signs of injuries. Clearing your throat softly, you try to surreptitiously slip your left hand behind your back, not wanting Jake to be alarmed if he noticed you were injured.
Ever the eagle-eyed observer, Jake’s concerned gaze is instantly back on you, stepping closer to you slowly, cautious as to not spook you. Kneeling down in front of you, Jake reaches out for your hand, brows furrowed and eyes full of concern. While an emotional person, you weren’t one to lash out and act recklessly, which is why Jake’s concern and worry for your wellbeing is evergrowing today.
Having slightly zoned out again, you flinch suddenly as Jake’s hand comes into your eye line, head hitting the bathroom under-sink cabinet with a dull thud, one that has Jake visibly wincing. Once again reaching out for you, his heart drops when you scramble away from him, hands getting caught on the loose mirror fragments behind you.
Your eyes are wide and full of distress, a look Jake hates to see in you. Your bottom lip is wobbling again as you look from your hands to Jake and back again several times, as if you didn’t know what to do, and Jake would. Sighing softly, Jake crouches before you, speaking quietly and calmly, “I can't clean you up if you keep flinching away from me so that I can't touch you. Will you give me your hand?” One hand slowly outstretched, palm side up as a gentle reminder he’d always be there for you, “C’mon darlin’. Please?”
A shaky and rather hesitant nod from you has Jake shifting ever so slightly closer to you, trying to get a better look at your hands. This time you don’t flinch, instead looking up at Jake with sorrowful eyes, the intensity of pain that you’re feeling almost becoming too much to hide like you normally would.
Grabbing you firmly by the elbows, Jake gently encourages you to stand, keeping you close to his body as you away on your unsteady feet. Having cleared the counter of any remaining shards, Jake’s hands mode to your waist, lifting you to sit on the countertop, a better hand for him to work on cleaning up your wounds.
“Be honest, how bad is this pain?”
A shrug, “Like a four out of ten? I’ve had worse pain.”
“When you say your pain's 'a four out of ten’, that's a normal person's ‘eight out of ten'.” Jake frowns, slightly frustrated that you are still downplaying your pain levels. “If it hurts, it hurts darlin’. Simple as that.”
A shy nod from you is rewarded with a soft kiss on your forehead, “I can sort out my hand, it’s my own fault. You don’t need to do it for me.” Jake routes through his medicine cabinet for some antiseptics and bandages to properly clean and dress your wounds. "This isn't up for discussion. I know you're used to looking out for yourself, but I need you to understand that you don't have to live like that anymore. I'm here. Just let me take care of you.” Another shy nod from you and a small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, happy to have won this fight.
Gentle shushing from Jake is an attempt to soothe any incoming whimpers from the sting of the antiseptic, only to be cut off by a wince upon finding a sliver of glass embedded in your left hand. Blankly, you just look up at Jake and shake your head, as if to say, ‘please don’t do what I think you’re going to do’, but with the resignation that you knew Jake always put your wellbeing first, and he’d do exactly that.
Jake has to grit his teeth as he removes the sliver, pressing kissing of praise when you only whine once, an improvement on the last time Jake had to patch you up. Eying the antiseptic bottle warily, you try to slip off the counter, a strong desire to avoid anymore pain, but a firm hand on your waist tells you Jake isn’t having any of it.
A few swipes into Jake clearing your wound has you hissing in pain, kicking your feet out, trying to push him away, the burning sting of pain almost becoming all-consuming. "I know it hurts, I know. We're almost done darlin’, you’re doing so well.” Next is a dressing and a loose bandage, Jake all too aware of how much you fiddle with tight bandages, there being no point applying on properly when you’re going to sleep soon.
Your eyes light up in relief when Jake tidied up the first aid supplies, “All done?” A terse nod from Jake has you smiling softly, tugging on the bottom of Jake’s shirt, pulling him back towards you, arms circling his waist as you hug him tightly, “Thank you.” A small smile flickers on Jake’s lips, kissing the crown of your head several times, returning your loving embrace, “Always.”
Having scooped you up carefully off his bathroom counter, Jake carries you back downstairs, sitting on an empty section of kitchen worktop. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, “Now, you just sit there and I'm gonna make you something to eat. We're gonna talk this out more tomorrow. We both need some food and sleep first.” His jaw is clenched tightly, expecting you to argue back and fight him on this, but is pleasantly surprised and relieved when you pull him closer, nuzzling your head into his chest as you nod.
“But first, one important thing, that I’m not arguing with you over. We’re not breaking up. I won’t let that happen.”
Opening your mouth to speak your mind, you pause, Jake raising a challenging eyebrow, almost daring you to fight him on this again. Deciding that Jake was perhaps right, as much as you’d rather not admit it to his face, he usually was right when it came to you and your relationship. Opting to shut your mouth and let Jake take care of you, you nod curtly, watching him step away and busy himself around the kitchen.
It’s fascinating to watch the man you love, so dedicated to taking care of you, work in the kitchen, soon noticing the ingredients he’s picking out, registering that Jake is making your favourite comfort food. Tears burn the back of your eyes, you’ve never had someone so content and determined to take extra time from their day to make you feel better.
Jake immediately is back at your side, hand gently cupping your cheeks, when he notices your expression, searching your eyes for any dog of what had caused your sudden emotion, “Hey, hey, hey, what’s wrong darlin’?” Eyes darting down you hand, his fingers gently running over the fresh bandage on your hand, looking for any sign of rebleeding, “Is it your hand? Are you in a lot of pain? Do you need your painkillers? I can get them for you?” Jake pulls away from you, moving to get any painkillers you might need, ever the attentive boyfriend you’d grown to love with your whole heart.
You smile sweetly up at Jake, reaching out for him with glassy eyes, pulling him back to stand between your legs, hand framing his face, stroking gently against the day old stubble. “Jake. Just stop for a second. I’m okay, I promise you. I’m just thinking about how grateful I am to have you to take care of me.” Relieved, Jake kisses you gently, “Even when you fight me when I try and take care of you?” He’s teasing now, you can tell, shaking your head and smiling, you pull him closer by the collar of his shirt, kissing him lovingly, “Of course. I will always be grateful for you Jake, even when I don’t always want your help.”
Kissing you gently again, Jake steps away, lifting you off the counter and leading you into the dining room, setting a portion of food in front of you first, then moving to the adjacent chair and setting down his own. Watching you take the first few bites, Jake only starts eating when he’s entirely sure that your food is okay for your taste.
Finishing your plate, you're surprised at how hungry you actually were. Smiling softly, Jake slides his half empty plate in front of you, content to sacrifice his meal to ensure you don't go hungry. You beam over at him, offering him the occasional forkful.
You’d always take care of each other.
Back in his bedroom, Jake pulls an old t-shirt from his closet, one that he knew you had a not-so-secret favouritism for. Setting the shirt down on the edge of the bed, Jake tenderly starts to help you out of your work uniform. Cautious of how tired you are now seeming, he takes great care to do most of the complicated things for you.
Pulling his shirt over your head, Jake smooths your hair out, combing it out of your tight work hairstyle with gentle fingers, helping to pull your arms through the sleeves, smiling to himself when you can feel the tension of the day leaving your body.
A tired whine leaves your lips when Jake tries to coax back to stand, trying to lead you into the bathroom to fully get ready for bed. Your protests are cut off by a yawn, Jake chuckles, “C’mon darlin’, I know you’re tired, but you’ve got to. You’ll feel better.” A disgruntled grunt from you has Jake laughing, successfully managing to coax you into his bathroom.
Lifting you back onto the counter, Jake pulls out your toothbrush, then his own. He watches you carefully, wiping your mouth with a fresh washcloth when you're finished. Reaching for the hairbrush he bought for you at his place, Jake parts your hair, brushing each section carefully, not wanting to tug on any knots. You giggle at Jake’s attempts to try and tie your hair back, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek when he surrenders the brush to you and letting you pull your hair out of your face properly.
Jake sets a glass of iced water on your bedside table, having carried you the short distance from his bathroom to the bed, tucking the covers over you carefully. He even brought an extra blanket from downstairs to ensure you’d be warm enough, or to at least comfort you a bit more, aware enough of your sleeping habits, to not tuck you in too tightly, and wait until he was next to you to try and help you sleep soundly.
Propping you up against his chest, Jake hands you an anti-nausea tablet, one you occasionally took on your bad days, one that Jake had noticed you’d need through your body language. Staring at it in your hand for a few seconds, you work up the mental courage to swallow, gulping some of the water down to discourage the bitter taste from lingering. He hands you a small blister packet of them, all too aware that you could wake up and need more, but would be too anxious to wake Jake up. It was little things, the basic gestures and actions that made you fall more in love with Jake each and every day that you spend in a relationship together.
Resting your head gently on Jake’s chest, with one arm carefully resting over his torso, you inhale deeply, cut off by a big yawn. Jake secured his arm around your body, pulling the blanket around your exposed arms, his hand coming to rest at the base of your neck, fingers occasionally tracing soft circles onto your scalp, easing the tension there.
The house is quiet, which is not unusual for being so close to a base at this time of night, every for the quiet, yet reassuring mumblings from Jake, reminding you that he’s always going to be there for you, there to take care of you, and most importantly, how much he loves you.
“Next time it gets this bad, you call me okay?” He looks down at you, there’s nothing but love and concern for you in his eyes, and you nod shyly, slightly embarrassed of how your choice to hide away from Jake had in fact caused him more worry, which was what you had been trying to avoid all along.
“You can't keep hiding this stuff.” He lifts your chin up gently with his other hand, trying to get you to look at him again, “I need to be able to trust you to tell me when you're hurting. Whether that’s physically or mentally, okay?”
Gaze dropping down from his green eyes, Jake is quick to whisper more reassurances to you, pushing stray hairs behind your ear, “You are so much stronger and braver than you think you are.” There’s more on the tip of his tongue if you even look like you’re going to dispute his words, yet to his surprise, you nod shyly, eyes flickering back to his loving gaze, “I think I’m starting to get that.” It was a rather shy and quiet admission, yet Jake’s face lit up with pride at your words, and his smile only grew and you continued, “I know that I used to disagree with you rather strongly, but thank you for helping me see clearly. I’m a better person with you in my life Jake. You make me better.”
Jake hums in agreement, it wasn’t exactly hard to see how much better you two were together, how much you bettered the other. This was a first was both you and Jake, and a joy that you both got to discover this kind of loving relationship with each other.
“We’ll talk more about this tomorrow when we’re both properly rested, but I hope you realise that I’ll always fight for this - for us.” Your eyes are fixated on his and you listen intently to what he has to say, majorly aware that the way you went about bringing this topic up to Jake, was the complete wrong thing. Jake wouldn’t give you up without a fight.
Exhaling deeply, Jake offers a different perspective, “Look at it this way - would you love me still if I was the one in so much pain? Would you stay with me for the rest of our lives, like I will for you?”
Your response is instant, “Of course. You know I would.” Jake’s mouth twitches into a soft smile, easing an eyebrow and waiting for you to realise. Your eyes widen as it clicks, looking down at your lap shyly, “Oh… Thanks Jake.” Nodding, he kisses the top of your head, pulling you tightly back to his side.
You can’t help the soft laughter that bubbles up as Jake peppers your face with kisses, there’s not an inch of your face that doesn’t get covered in multiple kisses. Jake can’t fight his own laughter at your infectious one, continuing to kiss you all over, moving to pepper kisses on your hair and neck.
Jake only let up on his over the top display of his affection for you, when it’s clear that you’re struggling to catch your breath because you’re laughing so much at his antics. Grinning, he pulls you close to him, a projective arm around your shoulders while you rest half on his chest, covering you both with the blanket, pressing a final sweet kiss to your forehead, “I love you so much darlin’.”
Smiling tiredly up at him, “I love you too Jake. More than you know.”
While the pair of you had a serious conversation ahead of you, Jake and yourself knew that as long as you had each other, you’d make it through, no matter what life threw at you.
You’d get the chance to spend the rest of your lives with each other.
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#allina writes#jake hangman seresin x reader#jake seresin x reader#jake hangman seresin x you#jake seresin x you#jake seresin fic#jake seresin#hangman#hangman x reader#hangman x you#jake hangman seresin#top gun maverick fic#tgm fanfiction#hangman fic
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Chapter 5: Light Brings Warmth
Chapter Word Count: 2,862
TW
None
CHECK BOTTOM OF CHAPTER FOR NOTES!
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Two weeks had flown by before you knew it. Seokmin kept you busy with tasks outside of SVT at work and really didn’t talk about them much to you. He would text you while you were having the weekends off and acted as he usually did when you returned, flirting and messing with your coworkers about your fake relationship.
While the idea that you were being watched every step of your life now was unsettling, you weren’t going to let that scare you too much. You continued your daily activities because you weren’t someone that did things inherently illegal or out of line. You went to the gym, ordered groceries, and just went about your days normally. Did you add to the playful flirting for Seokmin’s entertainment and the coworkers’ confusion? Yes.
You were chilling in bed Saturday afternoon, tired from the work week and ready to take the fattest nap that turned into you debating ordering take out for dinner when your phone started going off. Patting around your bed to find it, you pulled the covers up and answered, not even bothering to check who it was.
“Get dressed, Ace had been annoying the fuck out of everyone to have you over again and King folded and agreed for you to come to family dinner.” Seokmin’s voice rang clear through the phone.
Staring up at the ceiling, you sniffled then groaned, shoving your face into the pillow. “Do I have to? I’m in bed-”
“I’m pulling into the garage. Unlock the door or I’m picking the lock.” He sounded serious but you couldn’t tell since you were unable to see his face.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Dress comfortably, we aren’t going to the penthouse.”
“Where are we going?”
“To our home .”
Seokmin did try to pick the lock on your door because you were a few seconds too slow in opening the door. When you pulled it open, he was crouching down with a lockpick tool in his hand and a concentrated look on his face, tongue just barely sticking out of his mouth. He was sporting sweatpants and a t-shirt unlike what you typically see him wear.
He gave you a look from head to toe, smiling at your outfit of leggings and a graphic tee. “You listened!”
“You threatened to break into my place again , of course I did.”
He had rushed you from the building, blabbering about how lucky you were to be invited to their house and how Apollo almost shot Ace because he wouldn’t stop talking about you.
The car ride was worse, being trapped in with his mindless chatter and you giving some hums of reply. Not five minutes into the trip you started to doze off and by ten minutes you were asleep in the passenger seat.
When the car came to a stop, a hand was shaking your shoulder and you jolted some, grumbling out something in your drowsy state. As you opened your eyes, you saw the scrunched up face of Seokmin shaking you, humming your name to fully rouse you. Looking around some, you noted that you were no longer on the road and now in a garage. You looked out your window and nearly did a double take.
Kinda an asshole car, huh… What idiot left his lights on on that asshole car too?
“We are already late, come on.” He hopped out and you followed after, shuffling your way from the car beside you and tailed Seokmin as he headed towards a door in the back. You made a mental note regarding the ‘ Reserved for old person’ signs and their various numbers.
He pushed the door open and any conversation that was happening fell flat. Your eyes first fell on the kitchen, letting out a small ‘wah-’ in amazement at how pristine and well equipped it was. The cabinets were a brown color and most appliances leaned towards a black or gray scheme. You didn’t get to see the outside of the house but it was definitely something large if the kitchen was to show for it. Rounding the corner from the kitchen and seeing the dining table, you froze.
Multiple sets of eyes were trained on you and Seokmin, more you than your friend. Some were still standing, placing things on the table while others were already seated and ready to eat. While it smelled amazing and mouthwatering, you suddenly lost your appetite. You saw Blondie and Joggers from two weeks ago. As expected, King was sitting at the head of the table, seated beside him was the one he called Loki the night you saw them in the warehouse with an almost fawn looking man across from him.
“Don’t just stand there, you are both late. I saved you both seats next to me.” Loki winked, raising the glass of wine in front of him and sipping it.
“Sorry~” Seokmin chuckled, placing a hand on your lower back and leading you to the seats free beside Loki . “Got held up in the city because of an accident and I had to get around it.”
Seokmin sat with you between him and the former man. You could feel his eyes slowly looking over you. When you raised your eyes and took in each of their faces, you froze once more. Sitting three down from Joggers who was across the table from you was someone you recognized more than anyone else here. Thick lensed, round glasses rested on his nose but his eyes never left the screen of his phone that was placed on the table. He looked almost exactly the same from c-
“I told you this would be awkward.” Loki snickered, cutting off your train of thought. He leaned on his elbow as he faced you a bit. “Why don't you introduce yourself, little one?”
Internally you gagged, but the distaste was evident on your face.
“Oh did you not like that? What about… Honey? Like Seokmin calls you?”
You felt like hitting your head hard enough against the table to give yourself a concussion. You wouldn’t just sit here and let him tease you.
You turned to face Loki , giving him a once over before snorting. “It’s Y/N, but Honey can be just fine, but I think we both know that.”
Something lit up behind his eyes.
Fake it until you make it .
“And to whoever owns the red Lambo, you left your lights on.” You faced the rest of the group, hoping the monotone you wanted to express came through well.
It took only a second for one man beside Joggers to stand quickly and rush from the dining room table, down the hall, and back through the house to the garage door you entered in from. A string of curse words and the sound of a car door opening and closing before he appeared back, frowning. A few low rumbles of laughter were heard but when your eyes settled on the one with glasses, he didn’t move much.
God what was his name? Some white guy name? William? No…he had a Korean name… Wooyoung? No, too long… You tried not to stare as you thought, thinking back to some old classmates when it hit you. Won-
“Was no one going to tell me?” He scoffed, pulling out his chair and sitting back down.
“ Honey did.” Joggers laughed.
“Keep bullshitting all you want, I’m hungry.” King’s voice rang over everything and soon everyone was reaching for food.
Seokmin was kind enough to grab things he knew you liked and placed some on your plate, clearly seeing the uncomfortability you were attempting to hide behind your mask.
“ Honey, Honey-” Joggers caught your attention, sharp eyes wide with happiness. “I’ll go around the table and tell you everyone’s name. Oh wait-”
He looked towards King , who only raised a brow to him as he ate. He gave a sound of question but didn’t actually voice anything.
“Can I tell her?”
King made another sound in question, having not listened to the conversation and just spacing out with his gaze down the table as he ate.
“Names, do I go with-”
Loki spoke up, “What will she do with the information anyways? Tell?” He laughed now, much deeper and louder than before. “She wouldn’t be dumb enough, right, Honey?”
Each time he said the nickname, you wanted to punch him in the throat. He said it like a pur, wanting to annoy you or get some sort of reaction.
You swallowed the food in your mouth and didn’t bother looking at Loki . “And what? Walk into King’s office again and have him threaten my life? Once is enough, the joke kinda feels old now, don’t you think?”
He looked over you towards Seokmin, “And why was she never brought in sooner? She is more entertaining than all of you put together.”
“I wanted to keep my wife all to myself.” He put an arm over your shoulder and you rolled your eyes.
“Does anyone actually care?” King called down the table, probably more of a question towards the names than anything.
“No offense, but that is a dumb question seeing as you already let her into our home .” Glasses spoke up, finally tearing his gaze from his phone.
You don’t know what came over you but you rolled your eyes again. “ Wow , you really are the same asshole from college. Wonwoo, right? From Cryptography? My rival? ” The last word you said mockingly.
You swore a pin dropping could be heard. He was staring at you now. The fork in his hand being held a little tighter.
“You remember him?” Joggers asked, knowing a bit of Wonwoo’s story.
“Can’t really forget those stupid glasses and his cocky attitude.”
Big and Beefy next to Wonwoo was already trying to stifle his laughter, covering a hand over his mouth and turning his face away. Seokmin had removed his arm from your shoulder and shook in laughter, not wanting to outwardly break the tension.
“I’m keeping her. None of you are allowed to kill her for any reason.” Loki slung his arm over your now free shoulders and tugged you towards his side.
You let him pull you but didn’t drop any sense of defense you had for yourself.
“Let’s start from where they are seated, shall we, Honey?” He started again, motioning towards their leader at the head of the table. “You already know him as King , but his name is Seungcheol. I love to call him Cheolie~”
You might actually punch him by his breath tickling the shell of your ear.
“I’m Loki, but I’d much prefer it if you called me Jeonghan, beautiful.”
The one across from Jeonghan rolled his eyes and huffed a laugh out of his nose. “Very subtle, Jeonghan.”
“That,” He pointed across the table, “Is Hades , but I call him Shua!”
“It’s Joshua.”
“Semantics!”
“Wait wait-” You tried not to laugh. “ Loki? Hades? I know one of you is Apollo , do you just enjoy mythology?”
Jeonghan waved you off and continued down the line, pointing to each man as he went. “Then we have Ace, or Soonyoung.” The mentioned man smiled and tilted his head at you. “ Apollo, or Jihoon. Fenris , or Mingyu.” That one made you snicker. “Wonwoo is called Archivist. At the end is Junhui, or Echo .”
You ran through the names the best you could as he said them and watched him use the arm over your shoulder to point towards the otter looking man at the end. “ Omen, or Channie~.” He pointed over Seokmin’s head and you leaned forward to see who he was talking about, wanting to put names to faces. “ Shadow, Minghao. Watcher, Vernon. Jester , Seungkwan, and you already know Seokmin.”
A lot of names, you’d have to have Seokmin make a list later for you to look over and memorize. Speaking of Seokmin-
“Hey one question, why did you give Seokmin his actual government name for his government job when he was supposed to be undercover?”
Dinner went…well you think. Soonyoung had taken the job of talking your ear off, seemingly interrogating you. You answered most of the questions he asked but kept things simple and low key, knowing Wonwoo has probably found any and all information about you on the internet.
From your point of view, Jeonghan was having the time of his life trying to get a reaction from you and lighting up each time you replied to him with something just as sarcastic or playful that he gave you first. Seokmin as usual was joining in on the antics and flirting with you like he does during the day job and Soonyoung was living for it.
Out of instinct, you had insisted on helping clean up the table when done, believing it was something you could do since you were invited as a guest. Seokmin was right beside you, helping rinse the dishes before placing them in the dishwasher. Wonwoo was a silent being that floated through the kitchen, wiping down the counters and putting any leftovers away. Jihoon had wandered off down the hall, grumbling about his lights being left on, probably needing to check the battery.
Seungkwan, Vernon, Chan, and Soonyoung had sprawled out along the couches. You had seen Seungkwan turn the enormous TV on and streamed some drama you didn’t know the name of. Junhui and Minghao had left not long after the table was cleared. Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua were sharing a glass of whiskey at the table, speaking in hushed voices that you couldn’t make heads or tails of.
Honestly it all felt a little weird. Despite the lives they lead, this group, SVT , was just a normal, young group of guys. You didn’t know their exact ages, but you could piece together by looks that they were all probably in their twenties and it was unsettling how large a business they made so young.
“ Honey, come here.” Seungcheol called and you nearly dropped the plate you were rinsing since you were spacing out.
Seokmin took it from your hands and nodded you off. With slow steps you made your way over to the three, coming to stand beside where Seungcheol sat.
“Tomorrow Seokmin will bring you here and we will discuss the logistics of what you will need to do while at work. I’ll also be having Wonwoo bring you to Pandora to get started on the firewall.” He sipped the amber drink, only looking at you from his side eye.
You didn’t feel like challenging him at that moment but you definitely were thinking of it. Jeonghan finished the whiskey in his glass and reached his hands out to you across the table.
“Honey, give me your phone.”
“Why?”
“Why not? Don’t you want entertainment outside of Seokmin?”
“Are you offering something, Jeonghan?” You dropped your tone and raised a brow.
He narrowed his eyes and a smirk crept on his lips. “Am I, sweetheart?”
Joshua groaned and glared across the table to Jeonghan. “Can you let me enjoy my drink without you making me sick?”
Jeonghan gasped, faking offense. “I make you sick? I thought we were friends!”
“Not for long if you keep this up.”
In the end, you gave your phone over to Jeonghan who typed in his number and added the contact name of ‘ Honey’s Handler’ with a bee emoji to finish it off. If you ever had a chance to fight him, you’d really really punch him.
You bid everyone in the main room a goodnight after the dishes were finished and left in Seokmin’s car. He called back that he would stay in the city tonight so he didn’t have to make the drive until tomorrow.
The ride was relatively quiet this time around with you staring out the window and Seokmin focusing on the road. When he pulled into the streets of the city, he spoke up.
“They aren’t too bad, right? Not all big and scary like they might act like?”
You shook your head and smiled. Of course he was asking that. “I’ve only seen a glimpse of who they are, Minnie, but they seem okay.”
“I know, I know, but still. I’m glad you can get along with some of them like you did tonight. I have spoken about you alot because I don’t have many friends outside of them and I want them to like you.” He stopped at a red light, looking over to you. “You are someone I consider family like them.”
You stared at him, taking in the soft expression that warmed your heart each and every time you saw it. He was your friend, someone you go out with and share drinks with after work. He was really your only friend since you were a homebody and you didn’t speak to anyone from college anymore. You didn’t have anyone around you that you felt so close to.
You sighed, smiling and reaching up to ruffle his hair. “I consider you family too, Seokmin.”
Author's Notes
Here is the list of all the names just in case~ Cheol - King Jeonghan - Loki Joshua - Hades Junhui - Echo Wonwoo - Archivist (reference from cowriter's story, Fallin' Flower on AO3) Soonyoung - Ace Jihoon - Apollo (DUHHH) Seokmin - Tempest Mingyu - Fenris Seungkwan - Jester Vernon - Watcher Chan - Omen
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#seventeen#seventeen x reader#svt#seventeen fic#svt x reader#mafia au#seventeen mafia au#seventeen polyamory#polyamory#x reader#reader insert#angst#jeonghan#scoups#choi seungcheol#hong jisoo#hong joshua#wen junhui#hoshi#kwon soonyoung#jeon wonwoo#woozi#lee jihoon#the8#xu minghao#lee seokmin#deokyeom#kim mingyu#boo seungkwan#hansol vernon chwe
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bed time
jj x autistic!daughter
fluff
some words
“i don’t know what to do em,” JJ sighed, running her hands through her hair. “every night, even when i’m not home she sleeps in my bed-“
“she’s been sleeping in your bed for 16years?”
“yeah! we did it when she was little and it’s just a way to keep her anxiety low at night. i never, ever imagined myself getting with someone, nevermind in a long term relationship,” jj explained. she put her head on the jet’s table and groaned loudly.
“how long have you and will been seeing each other?”
“almost 10 months now.”
“and he’s still not met her?”
“no! and he’s coming this weekend and she’s going to sleep in my bed but so is he and that’s not going to work!”
for the last 16 years, you’d slept in your mums bed. you took naps in your own bed, you played in your own room, hung out in your own room but at 10pm every evening, you climbed under the covers of your mums bed and snuggled up on the right side.
sometimes, she’d snuggle up with you, wrapping an arm around your waist and holding you close but sometimes she didn’t. she wasn’t always home but that was okay because regardless, you felt safe in mums bed.
“hey sweetie,” she mumbled, snuggling closer to you on the friday morning. you hummed, still tired from your mums tossing and turning but you settled when you felt her begin to play with your hair - the only thing you really let your mum do.
“can we talk about something?” she asked next and you rolled over, alarmed.
“what?” suddenly you were wide awake - concern flooding your mind.
“it’s okay, it’s okay,” she reassured, sitting up and grabbing hold on your hands. “i just need to discuss something with you.”
“what is it?”
“how do you feel about sleeping in your own bed tonight? and tomorrow too? maybe we start a habit of it-“
your mouth opened. “no mum,” you told her simply. “why?”
“because i think it’s time you started sleeping in your own bed at night baby. you’re 16, you can’t live with mum forever,” jj whispered softly but you shook your head.
“no you’re wrong. i don’t need to.”
“baby id like you to,” jj pleaded.
“why?” you asked, feeling yourself getting more and more worked up. “this is where i sleep! every night! mum you can’t kick me out, why don’t you want me anymore?” those words shattered jj but she knew that’s what her girl was really thinking.
“hey,” jj whispered, wrapping her arms around you. “i want you more than anything darling but sometimes, i need some grow up time without my daughter here too,” she said softly.
“mum,” you sobbed, unable to keep the upset back anymore.
you headed off to school, shaken up and upset at what your mum had proposed but you tried to let it settle to the back of your mind. you knew your mums boyfriend was coming over today and staying for the weekend, it had been planned for weeks but you didn’t think she’d kick you out !
that’s your bed, where you slept! not some strangers, you couldn’t comprehend why your mum would want to sleep with strangers anyway.
the day ended and you headed out to your mums car. she sat waiting in her usual spot and you climbed in the front.
“hi baby, good day?” she asked, starting the car. you only nodded, far too overwhelmed to speak, you knew what was waiting for you at home.
“wills at home, you just need to say hi and then you can go do your own thing, okay?” jj said softly. you nodded once again and the car fell silent.
you walked into your house and was instantly overwhelmed. will smelt different and he brought this smell into your home and he’s going to put it in your bed.
“hi! you must be y/n!” will said with a smile; walking over to you with his hand out to shake.
you didn’t reply, or shake his hand. you weren’t a hand shaker.
“y/n, will. will, y/n,” jj greeted you both and you nodded before heading off to your room. you couldn’t help but feel sick. who was this person in your home making you feel so horrid?
you trudged down stairs at the smell of your favourite, lasagne. you peeked your head around the corner of the kitchen and saw them laughing and joking together. will was funny, he made your mum laugh which you liked. you studied him from the doorway. you watched his body language, the way he moved himself when speaking. he would stare at your mum, completely stare and that made you uncomfortable just thinking about the prolonged eye contact.
“oh hey mouse,” your mum said quickly, noticing you. you waved at her slightly and then will turned to you.
“i wondered when you would reappear,” he said softly. you walked over to your mum, wrapping your arms around her tightly.
she wrapped her arms around tou, holding you close in the silent comfort.
it was 930 and you climbed out the shower. you felt nervous, sick. you couldn’t sleep on your own. not without her. you headed to your own room and got into your comfort pjs - hello kitty shorts and a top before plaiting your hair the way you did every night. but then you saw the time and audibly whined.
9:50, time for bed. how did you do this? how was you going to do this?
shaking, you climbed into your own bed and almost immediately, JJ turned up at your door.
“do you want me to join you?” she asked and you nodded frantically. she slid into your bed, holding you close and although you settled slightly - it still wasn’t right.
you never fell asleep, no matter how much she played with your hair, no matter how much she tried to coax you to sleep. but you pretended to be and she left the room silently, making sure you were tucked in before turning on your night light.
at around 230, you headed to the toilet and you walked past your mums room. she was in her bed with will beside her, both sound asleep and you had an idea.
after washing your hands, you grabbed your blanket and slid in behind your mum. you made sure you were comfy but not taking up too much room before falling asleep quickly.
this happened for the rest of the weekend. they’d fall asleep without you but wake up with you. your mum knew you were trying though and that’s all that mattered to her. will went home on the monday and mum dropped you off at school on her way to work.
when you arrived home, you were exhausted- with hardly any sleep all weekend you weren’t surprised. you headed up to your room, expecting your mum to be at work but when opening your door, you were greeted by the team - re decorating your bedroom.
“your home early!” JJ gasped.
“i skipped last lesson. what are you doing?” you asked.
“we’re moving jj’s bed into here so you can sleep!” derek told you.
“without you?” you whispered, turning to your mum and letting your lip wobble.
“i’ll sleep with you ever opportunity i get baby but now; you can sleep in this bed whenever you like.” she replied. she wrapped her arms securely around you and you sighed, soaking up her love.
#criminal minds#criminal minds evolution#jennifer jareau#jennifer jareau head canons#jennifer jareau x daughter!reader#jennifer jareau au#jennifer jareau x reader#jennifer jareau imagine#jennifer jareau x autistic!daughter#jj x daughter!reader#jj x daughter#jj x autistic!daughter#jj criminal minds#jj
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You’re not funny…
A/N: I feel not tired at all and kind of nauseous. I think I’m severely dehydrated but drinking the water gives me even more nausea so… tf do I do? Write a fanfic and ignore my problems. I did not proof read it and It’s not a literary masterpiece so please, lower your expectations lol (shuffled my stray kids playlist and we got thunderous this time ;) for our boys thunderous dance moves (I mean that was terrible but I wanna play a song for every fic now so, yeah lol))
Summary: Minho is expecting a nice weekend together that he needed very much but you’re planning to play a prank.
Minho x Gender neutral reader
Minho had been getting frustrated very fast lately. Getting burnt out a lot because this comeback had been so demanding. He could see all the work coming too because they had been told, they were going on tour.
Now he was agitated because he was working all the time and he couldn’t spend time with his loved ones.
He knew what would make him feel better though. Spending time with you. All he was looking forward to all week was a whole weekend with you.
What he didn’t know was that the perfect storm was brewing. At the time where he wanted nothing but affection fhe most, you had the plan to play a prank on him.
You would try your best to swerve anytime he wanted a kiss or a hug. You had seen it on tiktok a lot recently and you just really wanted to try it out.
Horrible timing honestly but you had no idea.
He had called on monday and you would both be spending the weekend together. He hadn’t told you about the tour either because he hadn’t got the chance to. You would never be playing this prank if you knew.
Friday afternoon, he arrives. You hear him knocking on your door and instantly, you ready yourself. Usually you would run to him in the most dramatic way possible and give him a hug. He acted like he hated it but it made him feel wanted.
While he thought about how much he needed that hug, you were making sure you wouldn’t do it. As you opened the door, he stood there for what felt like a century, expecting the hug. You looked st him with confusion.
‘You good?’ You asked with a puzzled look.
‘You usually hug me when you open the door,’ he also looked extremely confused.
‘Oh, you hate it so I thought I wouldn’t do it. Come in,’ you smiled at him. As he walked in, you took the things he was carrying. It was your way of busying yourself.
He let out a sigh as he sat on the sofa, ‘I’m so tired. I could barely sleep yesterday.’
‘Aww, that’s sad. Have you had a hard time sleeping for a while or just last night?’ You came back after putting his bag in your room.
He looked at you and you could see how tired he was, ‘all week. So much work and I just don’t even want to think about it. It’s early as hell but can we watch a movie and take a nap?’
Code for watch something and cuddle. He wasn’t one to just outright ask for physical contact so you had gotten use to recognising when he wanted it and how he asked.
‘Of course we can do that,’ you smiled at him and set up everything for a movie.
You got some sweets and popcorn with the softest blankets. You picked a feel good movie that you both really liked and started to get settled. You played the movie and sat down on the floor.
He was surprised, ‘why are you on the floor? There’s plenty of room on the sofa.’
‘You should stretch out and get comfy. It’ll be easier to fall asleep. I have some work I need to do so I’ll sit here and do it when you fall asleep,’ you said while feigning interest in the movie.
It’s like you could feel him pouting. And he was.
‘Could you not do the work tomorrow?’
‘I’m sorry, my love. It’s urgent. I need to get it in by the end of the day.’
‘S’okay…’ he covered himself in blankets and got comfortable. He didn’t let it show just how hurt he was by it.
He fell asleep after a little while. He woke up a couple hours later and you had nodded off while working on the floor. Your brief was on the table and he looked at it.
He tried to help you with your work sometimes because you liked his opinions on it. As he read through it, he noticed it wasn’t due for another two weeks. That hurt him again because he didn’t understand why you lied.
He moved back and laid back down. He didn’t know how long he stared at the cieling before you woke up. He pretended to sleep when you got up to check on him. You picked up your stuff after you fixed the blanket so it was covering him properly.
After that, you started cooking for dinner. He took a little while before he got up. He acted groggy as he walked into kitchen. You heard him shuffle in and it was so hard not to hug him when he looked so cute with the wayward hair and the puffy cheeks.
‘Sleep well?’ You asked as you moved to the fridge.
‘Mhm, something about this place helps me sleep,’ he smiled.
‘Pff- you’re so sweet,’ you giggled a bit as you gave him some juice.
‘I was talking about your sofa and the tv but whatever helps you sleep at night.’
You playfully glared at him, ‘they’re mine and they help you so ultimately, it’s all me.’
You began washing some extra pots as you let him know what you were cooking and that it was almost done. You felt him get up and walk over. As he got closer, you quickly put what you were washing down and moved away to the stove.
A look of hurt and confusion flashed on his face for a second but it was gone as fast as it came. He followed to look at the food but kept a little distance. He didn’t understand at all what was going on.
You guys set the table up and ate your meal.
He was extremely silent the whole time and it was a very awkward 25 minutes. He offered to do the dishes and as he grabbed the last one, he leaned in to kiss you out of habit as he said thank you. You swerved and this seemed to be his breaking point.
He froze for a moment but then put the plate down and kneeled next to you. He took your hands in his and he looked into your eyes.
‘Y/N, what have I done? I don’t remember doing anything to hurt you and that may also be bad but whatever it is, I’m sorry. Please just tell me and let me fix it,’ he looked so torn up inside and it hurt your heart to see him like that.
And then you broke. (Because you would be a menace to society if you didn’t finally tell him what was going on)
‘I’M SO SORRY! Hold on… I’ll explain,’ You pulled him off the floor and took him over to the sofa. You both sat down. ‘It was such a stupid idea but I saw this prank on tik tok and I wanted to do it.’
The sad look on his face hurt your soul, ‘so you don’t hate me?’
‘God no! I could never!’ You leaned forward and gave him a hug. ‘I’m so sorry! It was a stupid idea!’
He hugged you back in an instant. You were basically in his lap, his face hidden in your neck. ‘Can we just stay like this for a while?’
You nodded and hugged him harder, ‘Can I turn off the kitchen light first?’
‘I’ll pay your electricity bill.’
‘I was kidding,’ you smiled.
‘Someone has to tell you, you’re not funny,’ you could feel him smirk.
‘So mean and hurtful, for what reason?!’ You jokingly sniffled.
‘Feel my pain,’ he laughed.
‘If it makes you feel better, fine,’ you hugged him a little tighter. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘S’okay. I’m just glad it was a prank.’
‘I love you most.’
‘I love you even more’
A/N: I’m thinking of a part two for this. I dont know. Cus I mentioned a tour so maybe it’s worth playing that out a bit. Lemme know what you think.
Please like and reblog and submit your prompts/requests :)
I’m writing anything that comes to mind right now so suggestions would be great.
[I’ve tried to look over it but if there’s anything that isn’t gender neutral about the reader, lemme know and I’ll fix it]
The following parts will probably not come and this was made as a stand alone story. If you’re still wanting to continue reading after this, go for it :) I just wanted to warn you cus if I were you, Id want someone to warn me.
Part 2
#lee know#lee know x reader#lee minho#stray kids#stray kids hurt/comfort#stray kids fluff#skz x reader#skz imagines#stray kids scenarios#skz lee know#hurt/comfort#minho x reader#x reader#skz fanfic#stray kids angst#angst#skz angst#gender neutral reader
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source: sohnhj11 on twitter
I'm posting this translation. Please help spread the word about the dangers and horrors of Korean men to the world.
“There was a time when my younger brother, who's just a year younger than me, made me feel so awful that I wanted to die. We were both in middle school at the time, and we were so close that people were even jealous of us. The first time it happened, I was so shocked and didn't know what to do, so I just pretended not to notice. I really regret that. One weekend afternoon, while I was taking a nap and our parents were home, my brother touched me and even tried to film it. I woke up and caught him in the act."
"I was so shocked at the time. I couldn’t think straight at all. Even though he was apologizing and acting like nothing happened, I felt so embarrassed and couldn’t stand even looking at him, so I just sent him away. My mind was racing with all sorts of thoughts.
Did he post it online anywhere?
How many times has this happened?
Who did he send it to?
Did he sell it somewhere?
Did he use it to pleasure himself?
What did he really think of me? "
" I went into a panic, my hands and feet were shaking, and I couldn’t even cry or breathe properly. I never thought my brother would do something like this, especially not my brother."
"My parents went out for a bit, and after about two hours, I thought something was wrong and sent a message to my mom. I asked her not to tell my dad because he really cares about me, and I was so embarrassed. About an hour later, my brother left the house. When my mom came home and asked about it, she said that Dad had called for my brother. So, my concerns were completely ignored,lol"
"Did they say something like 'Your brother needs to talk to Dad'? I was really anxious, worried that Dad might end up hitting him or something serious like that.
But I think it was all just in my head. They came back laughing and chatting like nothing happened. Ugh, at that moment, I really felt like I wanted to die. Damn, it felt like such a nightmare."
"So, my family is usually pretty close and gets along well. We’re financially comfortable and have a good time together. But that evening, my mom had been drinking and ended up hitting my brother a few times. What really got to me was that I heard everything, and then my mom said, “You’re part of the problem too. Who wears such short pajamas at home? I’ve never dealt with something like this before, so I don’t know what to do.”"
"My pajamas back then were just these short-sleeve, short-pants ones that were pretty trendy at the time. Yeah, I guess you could say it was all my fault. I was pretty slim and my chest was a C cup, so it wasn’t exactly small.
But does that really mean it’s okay for something like this to happen?"
"Was it really my fault?
I was just wearing normal pajamas, in my own home, and went to sleep comfortably.
Does that mean it’s my fault? After that day, I couldn’t really live a normal life for about a year.
Even when I was in class at school, or eating a meal, or even at home, and especially when I was showering, those moments, feelings, and sensations were so vivid, and I just wanted to cut myself out of my own body."
"My family? They all seemed to be doing just fine. It was only me who felt like a complete mess, while everyone else acted as if nothing had happened. It felt like they were too afraid to even talk about it.
Later, I had to go on a family trip that was already planned. It was less than a week after the incident, and since it was a trip with my grandparents, I couldn’t say no to my mom’s request.
But that wasn’t the end. Throughout the trip, my parents kept trying to get me and my brother to make up, and they looked like they were having a great time, laughing and enjoying themselves.
Is this what you call making up? It felt like I was the one who had to forgive everything."
"In the end, I reached out to my brother first and we became close again, like nothing ever happened. Everyone around us was praising him, saying things like, "He's such a great brother. You’re so lucky to have him."
Seriously? I once brought up the whole situation in front of the family again. My mom said, "I didn’t realize how far it went. I’m sorry." (But since this was during an argument, it didn’t feel like a genuine apology.)
My dad was like, "How long are you going to keep talking about this? Are you going to bring it up every time you’re in a tough spot?" This was the first time I had mentioned it to my dad since the incident, but he acted like I talk about it every day.
I’m still struggling with it. Even after years, it’s not something I can just forget. What is he trying to do?"
"MY dad called my brother and me ‘fucking assholes,’ and then he couldn't control his own anger and took it out on us.
That day, my parents ended up apologizing to me.
That was about 2 years ago. I’m not sure about other cases, but honestly, I don’t know. If you talk to your parents about sexual abuse within the family and end up in a situation like mine, what I want to say is that no matter what the person who did wrong says, you’ll never find comfort within yourself. Even if they beg for forgiveness, it really doesn’t feel like real forgiveness.
If you’re thinking about reporting it to the police… well, I’m not sure. If your parents are covering up for the criminal and the offender is a minor, the outcome might not be much. Honestly, I even thought that I should've just ended it back then."
"I thought that if I had ended things back then, maybe my family would have finally felt some guilt and blamed my brother more. But, honestly, saying this feels really bad, especially since my family views the whole thing as my fault and even turns their back on me. I just can’t think of a clear solution. The only thing I can do is try to get through it myself.
I still think about that time sometimes. But, honestly, I’m kind of dumb. I still get along with my brother.
Maybe he’s the one who wants to avoid thinking about it the most.
I’m no expert, and even though I’ve experienced family sexual abuse from my brother, I still don’t know how to truly comfort myself or find a real solution."
"Honestly, I wonder if there's even a real solution, haha. But anyway, my family and I are just living like everything’s normal from the outside. I’m still fooling myself with the word "family." And I’m still a minor, so I can’t really cut ties with them..."
[original thread here]
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maybe you’re struggling to shift, maybe you’re demotivated late at night and scrolled though the tumblr tag (like me) and try to find something new. these tips i have collected, which worked for me, may or may not be helpful to you - most of these are obvious, but you know? even if it helps one person, it’s enough. so, let’s start!
- try to drink a lot of water. i know, this one is quite controversial and i was a victim of early 2020 shifttok myself. but, i tried drinking extreme amounts of water yesterday and i was a lot more focused and concentrated.
- feel comfortable in your script and your dr. this is one of the most obvious ones but for myself, i was scared to shift to my first dr and didn’t realize that. i thankfully never shifted there because it was weird and scary, and this kept me from doing any progress. and if you’re not happy with your script - try different layouts, simplify or extend it! that can raise your motivation and the work on your script may connect you a bit more to your dr
- waiting rooms. for those of you who have one, the directly shifting into your dr. that helped me, because it’s easier for me to directly jump into my dr. for those who don’t have one, try creating one and shift to the wr first. it’s not as complex and scary at first.
- try to do things before bed you’re not usually doing! taking an everything shower, flossing your teeth, making an extra step in your evening routine - whatever it may be, but it will get you a bit out of the everyday routine. you may be a little bit happier and find more ambition to actually shift - also, unusual things tend to disconnect me from my cr
- go around and see what works for you. look what methods with what mechanisms do something for you and combine those. if you’re experiencing the most symptoms with visualization, focus on that. if you’re good with just affirming, do that. don’t press yourself into methods you don’t even like.
- shifting symptoms are not mandatory to shift! i didn’t had them myself and usually get very close to it. shifting symptoms are NOT ALWAYS symptoms of shifting but your body falling asleep. if you have them, that’s good! but if not, then don’t worry. to be said, i had symptoms that actually came from being in the shifting process and some of them were really just my body falling asleep - there’s a difference.
- if you’re at the verge of shifting and you can’t quite push yourself over the edge, a common thing to do is repeating ‚i am shifting‘ or ‚i have shifted‘ which just puts me out of that state entirely. try affirming things more actually connected to your dr (‚i am in [place you wake up] and ‚my name is x‘ and try describing what you’ll see once you open your eyes)
- shifttok may be a good place to get tips from, but try other sources as well. books with information about shifting, reddit, youtube channels, and especially the community on tumblr with helped me a LOT.
- even if you’re not comfortable with subliminals because you don’t like falling asleep with headphones - maybe it will help you. i was kind of forced to sleep with headphones one night because the apartment was too noisy and i shifted for a few seconds with it. i couldn’t quite ground myself but i did it. either try music you’re comfortable with (for me the minecraft music pushed me into that nostalgic, beautiful feeling that helps me) or subliminals on youtube. one i really like is this one (x), which are simple theta waves. also - you don’t have to shift at night. shift during a nap so you don’t need to sleep with headphones the whole night, try that.
- try shifting throughout the day. at night i tend to fall asleep to quickly or distract myself because i‘m too tired. lay down on the weekend in the middle of the day and try shifting - and just put headphones on - or don’t. whatever you like :)
- try to sleep with your head at the place your feet are usually in. it gets you a bit disconnected from your cr because it’s unusual and if you have the chance to - sleep in another bed and try it there.
- focus on what’s the sense you connected the first. for me, it’s hearing. both time i shifted i heard sounds from my dr. the next time you’re shifting, try to imagine that the hardest.
- feel. if you’re on the edge, try to feel what you’d feel when you’d realize you shifted. feelings can help you the most.
- methods cannot make you shift. they can help you and guide you through the process, but it’s YOU who does the ‚magic‘. you can shift without a method, too.
- pinterest boards. make pinterest boards with pretty pictures about your dr that match the vibe of it. it’s fun and you have real pictures you can keep in mind to try to visualize better
- take a break once in a while. if you get too frustrated with it and just can’t get the hang of it or you’re just tired, take a break. it will not only help you but it’s for sure healthy.
#shifting#reality shifting#affirmations#shifting realities#desired realities#shifting community#shiftblr#reality shift#shiftinconsciousness#desired reality
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The only reasons that I will accept are if you or the animal would be in SERIOUS danger if you were to sleep in the same bed. Like, some people with asthma have an excuse. People with bunk beds, pets-that-aren’t-dogs-or-cats, or people who have to use topical medicines at night have an excuse. That last one is usually temporary, like when I had to use permethrin cream and I couldn’t let Blue in my room. Obviously not a temporary thing for everyone but it’s often TEMPORARY.
Blue eventually passed away. One of the things I miss the most, and one of the happiest things we did together and nicest to look back on, is how she would snuggle with me. On the couch, in my chair, in my bed, wherever. Bedtime was her favorite time because she was guaranteed cozy snuggles and a nice human whether it was my turn or Mom’s, and in my room, she also loved to snuggle with my plushies with me. And she would really make sure both Mom and I got turns snuggling with her, because she knew we both loved it, too. Because we loved her. And many nights, she would snuggle up in my arms between my stuffed animals, purr in my ear, maybe make biscuits, and just be sweet like that until we both fell asleep. Sometimes, if it was a bit too hot to be all bundled between stuffies, she would do things like curl up on my pillow. Some mornings, particularly on weekends and other days off, she would wake me gently by attempting to clean my hair, but other times, she just soaked in the extra cozy snuggle time. She would love on my plushies, too, gently licking them or making biscuits on them or simply snuggling them. Just like she did to Mom and I.
In fact, while I was at work when Blue died, Mom was home like normal, and Blue trusted Mom with her last moments. She didn’t run and hide like most cats do before the end. She didn’t even try. She just snuggled up with Mom, like normal, in her bed, and they took a nap…and Blue didn’t wake up.
So if you can, let your pets in the bed and other furniture. They’re not “dirty” or “annoying” or whatever. And you gotta make memories for yourself to look back on because one day your pets won’t be there anymore, and you wanna know that you and the pet lived happily together for whatever too short a time you get with them. Dogs and cats have such short lives compared to humans. It’s 2025. If you have a cat or dog, let them spend time with you. You’re both better off for it.
fucked up to me that some people dont let their pets on the furniture. you have this little guy in your house and youre not gonna let them sit on the couch with you? no kitty on the bed? incomprehensible.
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MONDAY, APRIL 30, 2007 Tom said she didn’t wake him up on her way to work, but I’m not sure what my case is. I wake up a lot just because. One of the times I awoke was right around the time she’d be going to work.
We’re in for rain in a couple of days, but today, being in the 70s, clear, and a weekday, means it’s going to be utterly maddening. I’m going to throw in an earplug when it starts getting really bad.
SUNDAY, APRIL 29, 2007 We still haven’t decided on an exact date to move, but we should have one in a couple of weeks. Tom’s researching during commercials while he watches a car race. He wants to try to avoid areas where there’s more crime, but since there’d be no way to afford a ritzier area down there, I doubt there’ll be much of a choice. Especially when we’re going where 21% of the people are Mexican and 15% are black. That’s what they do; they rip shit off and sell it. That’s how they make their living, and why not when it’s easy, tax-free, and a simple cry of discrimination gets them from having to answer to it?
Yesterday I crashed as the sun was setting with an earplug. It’s rather sad to have to sleep that way, but I didn’t get woken up, even though Tom said there were a few really loud stereos that went by. The question is, how loud is going to be too loud for society in general? How loud? When we can hear them from other states? When the vibration’s so fierce it literally knocks people’s houses down? What will it take for someone to finally do something about this problem?
Kim’s been an annoyance at times, too. She still usually doesn’t play music, but sometimes I can hear it loud and clear what with the warmer weather we’ve had. What’s most annoying with her is the slamming in and out during the mornings.
I got fed up with the Yves games, so I decided to get a basic Glinda doll for the same price. I got her from the Doll Peddlar because they were cheaper than the other places I usually shop at. I just hope she’s in stock.
Jessie’s cold is better, but now she has allergies so I’ll see if I can influence that for her, too.
They’re having another Delbert cruise, only it’s embarking from San Diego. Yeah, I figured Nancy was full of shit when she tried to tell me that I may’ve cost them their contract with House of Blues and Sandy Beaches Cruises. She sure tried, though!
Later…
Tom just woke Kim up doing the yard. She came out and asked him if he’d do it on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, saying those were her days off. He told her, “Sure.” Watch, now she’ll go and use this as an excuse to play her music louder, or maybe slam doors harder and more often. But at least she’d be easier to wake up again, if she did, unlike that bitch at the duplex. I couldn’t have woken her up without waking Tom up. At least we’re almost out of here! If she thinks she’s going to sleep peacefully during the daytime, though, with people moving in here in the middle of summer, she’s in for one “rude awakening!” The chances of the newcomers not barbecuing in the backyard or doing something else back there aren’t very good. Of course, if God really has it in for her in any way, He’ll sic a little kid on her whose mother sends it outside to play. A preschooler who’s home all the time. I don’t see how she sleeps with that damn dog as it is. Certainly, it’s got to be louder to her as the stereos are to us.
SATURDAY, APRIL 28, 2007 I’m depressed, frustrated, pissed and tired, and my undying hatred for God only continues to grow while I’m at it, too. They woke me up twice yesterday, then I woke up twice more, once when I was hungry and once when I was sweating. I got up at 10:00, did my work, then took a 3-hour nap from 2:00 – 5:00. It was so nice to do it with no sound machines, too. Had Tom gotten up to pee, yeah, it would’ve woken me, but there was absolutely nothing but the computer’s fans whirring in the background and it was nice for a change.
Tom wants to research the Sacramento area this weekend, but whether we end up in the $400 apartment or the $800 house, it’s all going to be maddening and so I’ve already made up my mind to starve to death just as soon as I get my hands on that Claritin. I’ll be damned if I’ll live like this another 5-14 years, more like 14. I just can’t believe any retirement home would let a couple in with one being under the age limit, so fuck this Tom-and-Jodi-are-only-allowed-to-live-in-noisy-places rule our fucking God’s slapped on us! I can’t deal with these things that only get louder and louder each year for another decade and a half. Hell, the freeloaders’ stereo wasn’t nearly as loud as they are today! If they had been I’d have assaulted them for damn sure and ended up at least somewhat deserving of the shit they put me through. And no one’s ever going to do shit about them either. They’d have done that 10 years ago if they were.
I’m just sick of life. Sick of humanity. Yet the more I try to escape it, the more I just get stuck right in the middle of it. I can run, but I can’t hide. Not as long as I live, and this is no way to live, trust me. I’m simply not allowed to have anything I want, no matter how simple it may be. All I want is a peaceful place and some money, but sure enough, that dream Tom had just had to be that 1% of the time that it didn’t pan out. Gee, why am I not at all surprised?
Anyway, it’d be nice to have a place lined up for when we get down there so we don’t have to waste money in motels for too long, but at the same time, I don’t want to do the sight-unseen thing again either. There’s no way we could stay in motels indefinitely, though, on the Unemployment. It won’t be enough to cover the higher rates down there.
FRIDAY, APRIL 27, 2007 I’ve been stressed out over the upcoming move, and a bit depressed, too. Especially with knowing how maddening it’s going to be down there with the stereos on a daily basis, year-round. And the barking and God knows what else. The thought of having to live with this year after year just makes me want to drop dead! Even if the fucking stereos didn’t exist, though, dealing with all the barking and car door slamming right outside the wall of our place is bad enough. And so is dealing with struggling to make ends meet, which we’ll be doing for God knows how long.
I’m also not looking forward to returning to all the Mexicans and blacks, but seeing that the entire southwest was once Mexico in the 1800s, there’s no avoiding it. But I do miss the warm climate and the palm trees so I don’t want to deprive myself simply because people can’t shut up and are rude assholes.
It’s back in the 60s and 70s here, so it’s been quite maddening. I can’t sleep well during the daytime, so I’m going to have Tom get me some melatonin and start trying to train myself on a day schedule so I can try to find work when we get down there.
I’ll just try to remind myself when I’m listening to the stereos, the screaming, the barking, the door slamming, etc., that thanks to God’s being obsessed with my living in places I hate, that’s just all the more security for us. The more I hate a place, the more impossible it’d be to get evicted from it. I’ll also try to remind myself that a chaotic day only makes for a more special and appreciated night. I really enjoy the peacefulness of the nighttimes all the more on account of it being so maddening during the daytime. I never take it for granted. The same with those few scattered bursts of money we have throughout life. We’ll probably be broke for the next 2-3 years, but come the next time we’ve got extra money, it’s going to be all the more wonderful.
On the other hand, I also know I don’t have to take it. I don’t have a gun to shoot myself with or a garage to fill with carbon monoxide, but I can stop eating anytime I choose to and simply drift away. God can make me suffer, but he can’t make me eat, and I would think that death by starvation is a relatively easy death. You just get weak and tired.
I decided we should keep the truck. It’d not only make getting around a brand new city all the easier but there’s no way we could get something new as soon as we got down there. Even the biggest piece of junk is going to cost hundreds or even thousands down there, and making it drivable would cost thousands, too. This $500 truck cost us 2 grand to bring to life as it was.
It’s been a month and I still haven’t gotten my order from Yves! It turns out that the first time around they didn’t process it due to a glitch. This time around it’s because credit card companies are clamping down on different first names, even if the addresses are the same. The account was in my name, but the card was in his. I created a whole new account in his name and added a few more items that are on sale. We’ll place the order this weekend and hope Yves doesn’t fuck up again. This is the first time they’ve fucked up on me.
The good news in all this is that my eyes are better than ever! I found that if I go cross-eyed for a few minutes each day, it helps a lot. I’ve been working all night without glasses. What was cool was that it was noticeable as soon as I got up, and when I first wake up is when it’s usually the hardest to see.
It’ll be interesting to see how Jessie’s cold is. She emailed me a few days ago saying she’d been sick. I told her I’d try to ease it for her as best I could.
Anyway, this weekend we’re going to really check into the houses down there and do our best to see if we can figure out what types of neighborhoods they’re in, what’s around it, etc. It’s just that you can’t always know till you get there. You can’t “see” if there’s a stereo living right next to a particular house you might want. Not all satellite pictures will show you which yards are decorated with dogs, and even if they could, they’re outdated photos. I doubt most houses in the mainstream down there will be much quieter than an apartment or duplex, but at least I won’t have to worry about someone complaining about me when I want to blast my stereo or run around with the rat. I weighed the pros and cons of living alone, versus connected to others, and I still say it’s best to go solo if God will allow this much to be up to us for once.
I hope there’s also a way to find out who owns the houses down there. We do not want to end up next to a city house again!
MONDAY, APRIL 23, 2007 There’s this same dog that goes barking by in the back of a pickup regularly and it really gets old. But hey, it’s another good way to be obnoxious and get attention.
I never heard from Jessie over the weekend. The kid must’ve kept her busy.
I won 5,000 points again on Netwinner and am now just under 30,000 points. They definitely do compensate you, though, afterward. I haven’t been winning nearly as much ever since, so I won’t bother to play much for a few days.
For as long as he can remember, Tom’s gotten solutions to various problems in his sleep. It’s not like he’ll dream that a person’s telling him the answers, he just wakes up knowing something he didn’t know the day before. He says the answers prove correct 99% of the time, so if this is that 1% where he’s wrong, that’s all the more reason to believe something up there really wants to tease us badly with money. The question is why. We’ve never ripped anyone off or anything. If anything, we’ve done nothing but be a profit to others, so if anyone’s owed money and deserves it, it’s us! Anyway, he said it’s not like he got the answer that’ll get us rich (though he still feels that’ll happen at some point), but that will up the win percentage, giving us a small profit each day, instead of the usual, win some/lose some trip we’ve been on. I say it’s just another tease (as if God has nothing better to do than pick on us), but if we ever do get rich somehow, then I’m no longer psychic!
I’m not sure if I can say my eyes are better or not. They sure don’t seem to be at the beginning of my day, but then they do seem to get better. It’s really weird. Yet when I think of the inhalers and snot sprays I influenced myself off of, and the dairy products I influenced my stomach to be able to handle, it gives me a little hope. It seems it’s the more tangible things that are easier to influence. If only I could influence my metabolism! Once again it does seem like I’ve maxed, though I don’t think I’ll stay this weight forever if I continue to eat all I want.
FRIDAY, APRIL 20, 2007 Just like I was saying that I couldn’t believe it was early April back when we were having that warm spell, now I can say I can’t believe it’s nearly May! Not with the cold and snow we’ve been having. It’s just some dustings but it’s still snow.
As much as I have to bitch about and worry about, I know I’m living the right life when I think of Jessie getting up each morning to go to an accounting job of all things, then going home to a 4-year-old. But it suits her well. It’s just a matter of individual priority and preference. I’d rather have a life, even if it’s not always the life I’d like to have.
Sometimes I think of contacting Mary, who appears to still be in jail since I can’t find anything new on her, but then I think of how sensitive she can be and what a pest she’d no doubt make of herself once she’s released and I say, nah. Even Tom says he wouldn’t bother.
Jessie emailed me at 7 AM her time this morning to say she was on her way to work and to have a fun day.
It’s so hard to believe we’re in touch again! At the same time, it doesn’t feel like there’s a 15-year gap there, what with how far we go back. I updated her on how my psychic skills have advanced and how Tom feels I’m more of an influencer than clairvoyant. I’m trying to “influence” my eyes back into focus, but it isn’t working yet. This text is maybe a little clearer, but that could be pure wishful thinking on my part! We’ll just have to see as I continue the spells.
I told Jess she could be a character in one of my books sometime, but that I can’t use her as a main character. She’s as straight as I wish my hair was.
I hunted through my photo albums yet was unable to find the picture of us I had for years. Bummer! We’ll see if she has any.
I told Tom about her years ago but filled him in more since our little electronic reunion. If anything, he and she are more similar than she and I are. She’s a lot like Mary but without the religious fanatic BS mixed in.
It sucks that her kid’s so young. That sort of shoots down any possibility of her being able to visit us for quite a while if she wanted to. It used to be that none of my friends had kids, but ever since the 90s, almost all my friends have had kids, and as selfish as it may sound, it can be a drag. On the other hand, it keeps them from having the time to bug me.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18, 2007 I have quite a shocking update – an email from Jessica S! The message was sent under the name Bonnie S, but she hasn’t told me who that is yet. She sent the message a few days ago saying she received my letter a while back and misplaced it till now, and to let her know if I have the same email address.
I replied, letting her know I was glad to hear from her, and that we were moving to Sacramento soon. Then I sent her a detailed update of my last 15 years in the wild, wild west and she replied saying her life seemed dull in comparison.
I responded by letting her know that sometimes dull is better than adventurous and that I was looking forward to hearing all that’s been going on with her.
Today she said she got an accounting degree at HCC, got married, went through a bunch of shit, got separated, had a beautiful daughter, and is now trying to work things out with her husband. Between work and a 4-year-old, free time is sparse.
I told her that’s why I opted not to have kids (if ever I really did have the freedom of choice in the matter in the first place); so I could have a life. I told her it’s all a matter of priority, but if she’s happy, that’s all that matters. I sent her the links to my photo albums and she’s seen some of them. She never answered a fraction of the questions I had for her or even told me her daughter’s name or how her son was doing, so I figured she could tell me what she wants when she wants. With a job and a kid that young and probably a man who doesn’t give a shit about either one of them, I can see where she’d have no life. I figured that like with Paula, her life would be pretty much the same, though she’s certainly a lot more with it than Paula, whom I finally spoke to earlier today.
The only new thing Paula told me was that she’s moving after 8 years of being in the same place. She gave me two different reasons as to why she’s moving. First it was because her landlady won’t renew her lease, and then it was because of the freeloaders upstairs. She’s moving to another 3-family house in Chicopee, but will still have the same PO Box in W. Springfield. She’ll be on the first floor, under an old lady. She says the lady can ask her son to turn down his music if she wants, but she better not make a habit of it. Justin’s been really mean to her, she says, and she’s having problems with him.
Gee, Paula, I wonder why! Like maybe you weren’t a great example for him perhaps?
The biggest shocker was that she got married last October, but hasn’t told anyone, not even Justin. I don’t know why the secrecy, but anyway, the guy turned out to be a real psycho, so it turned out to be the biggest mistake of her life, she says.
Tom thinks it’s just water, but it looks to me like my weight hasn’t maxed after all. Figures, huh? It looks like yes, I will keep gaining indefinitely if I eat all I want, it’ll just be a slow process. I’m back to 137 pounds, but I still doubt I’ll do much about it till I can get a hold of the Claritin.
SATURDAY, APRIL 14, 2007 I guess now’s a good time to get caught up here since I can’t start sweeping till 2:00. I don’t like to start earlier than I did the day before because some of the ‘dailies’ are really ‘24s’ and they won’t let me enter till it’s been exactly 24 hours.
If we really leave on June 1st, we now have just 48 days left to go!
I was browsing this weight-loss tip site and didn’t believe it when they said switching from soda to water really makes a difference, but it does. It’s only a few-pound difference, but it’s a difference just the same.
I’ve also changed the way I exercise my lower abs muscles.
I was surprised to read there are certain foods said to boost the metabolism. They don’t recommend having less than 1200 calories a day, but I still intend to starve myself once I get a hold of that Claritin because it’s faster and easier. Then I’ll try taking some of their advice to keep it off for a while like having 2-3 ounces of cheese, sliced meat, fish or egg with every meal. They also recommend peanut butter, dark chocolate, sunflower seeds, whole wheat bread, bananas, dried apricots, honeydew melon, baked potato with skin, miso soup, spinach, lean red meat, fortified bran flakes and raspberries. They say not to let 4-5 hours pass without eating as that’s all it takes to put your body into “starvation mode,” and to eat when you get up. Lastly, they recommend taking 3 deep breaths 10 times a day.
Tom set us up to download movies from the Starz network. We can also watch what’s currently playing on their channel, too. It’s pretty cool and makes for good time-fillers when I’m done working and don’t feel like doing anything else like writing or reading. The first two weeks are free, then it’s $10 a month. At first I wasn’t sure the selection would be worth it after two weeks, but they’re constantly adding new stuff, so we’ll see.
MONDAY, APRIL 9, 2007 Some guy’s out in the yard next door now with a girl of around 8 flying a kite. This is the first time I’ve seen a kid over there, so I’d say she’s visiting. In the bedroom with the music going, it’s no big deal. I’m surprised they don’t have a car stereo thumping away while they’re at it.
Anyway, today’s cooler and windier and it’s been much quieter stereo-wise.
Tom said gamblers are superstitious and that they would definitely give him a hundred bucks or so if they won big from his picks. Just like people are superstitious about leaving a payout on a slot machine, they are with this too, he tells me. That’s something God would do too; have someone win big from his picks, while we hardly got shit.
Won a boring DVD and the best shirt for Tom ever. A $50 polo shirt. It’s actually a Nautica deck shirt. I won him a fiery red one and next time I’ll go for a black one. They give away 50 shirts each week, then the grand prize winner gets 22 shirts, each in a different color.
SATURDAY, APRIL 7, 2007 The doll finally came and is way nicer than my other Tonners. She’s a little bigger, but a lot better proportioned. I love the drop-down ankles and more detailed toes than the typical Tonner has. Just like my porcelain bride doll, Summer Dream, one of her hands is fist-like so she can hold her flower bouquet.
I hope I don’t lose any of these dolls once we move! But if we do end up in total poverty, and if we’re not smart enough to kill ourselves, we sure do have a lot of stuff we could sell.
There was an instant sweep where I won a “naughty & nice” towel set, and apparently, I got the win notice in error. And although this company isn’t required to give prizes to those affected by their mistake, they did send a T-shirt and a watch with 3 different colored bands, so that was nice.
The trees are in bloom now and so are the bees and spiders. Tom’s going to spray the outside of the house today, then we’ll bomb next weekend. I love seeing the cherry and apple blossoms. They’re so beautiful but so short-lived.
I was reading various posts on the global warming debate. Some feel it’s all hype, but others believe it is a genuine crisis, pointing out that 80-degree temps in March aren’t normal. Someone even said they wore shorts in NYC for the first time ever in January, although they did get slammed with tons of cold and snow shortly afterward. Has it ever been 76º in early April in Klamath Falls, I wonder? That’s what it was yesterday. I was so hot under this heavy comforter that I had to sleep with the fan on. It didn’t warm up till June of our first spring here, then last year it warmed up a month earlier, but this year it’s over two months earlier. Tom said it won’t affect us personally, but those billion or so people who live by the sea will be displaced by the rising sea levels. It could affect us, however, if many of those people decide to come live with us. That’d really suck cuz the cities are crowded enough as it is! I got a kick out of how one lady said, “I’m 73 years old, and why should I believe their weather predictions for the next 50 years when I have yet to see them get the next 3 days right?”
A couple fell 50’ from the balcony of a cruise ship near Mexico. They survived, and although no reason for the fall was mentioned, I’d say they were trying to kill themselves. Not even the drunkest of drunks would be dumb enough to fall off a cruise ship like that!
Another cruise ship sunk in the Mediterranean Sea in Greece after striking a rocky reef. Two people are missing. Guess these things still aren’t unsinkable!
THURSDAY, APRIL 5, 2007 I was checking into houseboat rentals, hoping to find something affordable that was long-term, but sure enough, all I could find were vacation rentals that cost a fortune. You can buy boats too, but I couldn’t find anything smaller than a 4-bed boat for $234,000. A houseboat would’ve been awesome. Probably more so than a rural or a retirement type of place. You couldn’t take it out to sea, but you wouldn’t have car stereos to deal with or a pack of brats bouncing basketballs for 5 hours at a time. Barking dogs may be a problem, and kids may go running up and down the docks constantly, but the boat’s windows would be watertight and that cuts down sound big-time. Typical me, always wanting what she can’t have. I’m still just as happy to go to Sacramento as opposed to staying here in the cold and snow, but I can’t see us avoiding an apartment while we’re at it either. I picture us ending up in a complex like what’s common in Arizona, and seemingly, most of California, too. Those are noisy as hell, but at least the place would have central AC/heat, a dishwasher, and hopefully a washer and dryer that was at least on the grounds if not inside the apartment. I just hope that if we have to live in a complex, since it’s up to God only and not us, we’re not on the pool or parking lot. Knowing we’ll have the shit “luck” to get next to the freeloaders with the 16 siblings visiting, and to get below the stomping elephant, and above the stereo blaster will be enough to deal with as it is, on top of the constant outdoor projects. You know, the mowing, the blowing, the painting, the re-roofing, etc.
The procrastinator never sent the tracking number like she says they always do and the doll didn’t arrive yesterday, so let’s hope this time she meant it when she said it’d go out Wednesday if it didn’t make Monday’s shipment. Then she should arrive tomorrow. First I was tempted to leave negative feedback, but then that may prompt her to leave me negative feedback, so I may give what I get and go back on my own word as well by leaving nothing. She hasn’t left me anything. On the other hand, she did give me a good deal on this doll and may be waiting to leave me feedback once I leave hers, so maybe I’ll just write “Good deal.” I had a dream last night that there was another problem getting the doll to me, so let’s hope it was just a dream.
Kim had company yesterday. Some old car was there. Even though we have just 57 days left, I hope she doesn’t go back to being the company junkie she was last fall. I’m going to have enough indoor and outdoor door slamming to listen to down there, so I don’t need it up here, too. Today I think she might’ve brought someone back with her.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4, 2007 Tom hasn’t yet admitted his program’s a bust, but he is at least ready to “prepare for the possibility that I’m right,” so he says, but setting things up to sell his picks. It’s like with psychics who sell winning lottery numbers; they hope someone wins big and will be kind and generous enough to share some of it with them. That’s totally something God would do too, have someone else strike it rich of off something he did. And no one’s that kind or generous either!
Meanwhile, I still have my bouts of anger and depression over it being just another joke on us. It was a hell of a cruel tease, and of course, God sat back and allowed it, as always, because the joke was on us. And if it’s us, why that only makes it all the more funny, doesn’t it God?
I’ve come to resign myself to the inevitable living conditions that are in our fate and that simply can’t be changed and so I try to see the good in it. If we did own a nice place on some land that wasn’t noisy, God would just take it away from us. If we don’t own anything, well then we couldn’t lose what we didn’t have. I’ve had a zillion apartments yet I’ve only been evicted once due to being the kind of prankster I haven’t been in years. Meanwhile, we lost the Maricopa house and we nearly lost the Phoenix house too, at one point, even if our lives were hell there. So while it’s easy to complain about the things that go bump, bang, and bark all the time and all the wake-up calls, an apartment is something I know we could never go wrong with or ever lose. And while it’s easy to say I want to live in peace, living in noisy places is all I know for the most part, and while it may be nice to live in peace, it may seem rather strange. The longer I live a certain way, the harder it is to adapt to something else, even if it’s better. Noise – can’t imagine life without it!
I’m determined to learn to tune out what I haven’t been able to tune out as of yet and to fight the sleep problem God has cursed me with in order to supplement our income. Just because we can’t live in peace doesn’t mean I want us to ever again suffer the kind of poverty we suffered upon coming here. If I hadn’t been so damn lazy and if I hadn’t been so damn submissive to God’s shit, we wouldn’t have had such a hard time. He could break my legs or something to stop me, I know, but I’ve got to at least try to fight Him. Maybe that’s what He wants; to see me finally fight back. Maybe then He’ll cut me some slack. Besides, daytime sleeping in an apartment is virtually impossible. I remember that all too well.
In better news, the last doll of ’07 will be here either today or Friday. Now she says she’s not sure if it made Monday’s shipment in which case it’ll go out today.
It took me about 30 DVDs to do it, but I finally won one worth watching.
SUNDAY, APRIL 1, 2007 As excited about the move as I am, and as anxious as I am to get out of this dump, the more nerved up I become. I keep trying to tell myself, “Relax, you’re not going back to Brattleboro, Valleyhead or jail! You’re going to California.”
California! A place you’ve always dreamed of living. Yet sadly enough, while it may be California with its warmth and palm trees, it’ll also include poverty for us and a very chaotic place to live. You know, all the things that my fantasies never included when I’d imagine living there?
My ingrown toenail’s been bugging me even though Tom just trimmed it. I was tempted to burn the damn thing off with the head of an incense stick, but the only way I’m going to learn to adapt to chronic pain and noise is to stop fighting it! A good way to start is to forget about getting that thing to curb a dog’s barking. Besides, it shouldn’t be my responsibility to shut the damn thing up anyway.
The only thing that keeps me from ending it all is knowing that my death would be leaving Tom alone for 35 years and feeling guilty. Guilt was something I always felt he didn’t feel so easily, like back when he’d casually make false promises to me, but I think he would if I killed myself, and probably even get lonely, too. Not for sex, of course, but for companionship. It’s just that knowing that I’ll never be able to live in peace, never live without pain or some kind of medical problem, and will probably never again have money makes me wonder if any good times mixed in are really all that worth it.
I don’t just loathe God for the shit He’s allowed me to go through in my life, but just hearing about this Uganda lesbian that sought asylum in the US confirms all the more that God really truly is an evil being in every sense of the word. It isn’t just what He allows to happen to me, but to others like this woman as well. The Arabs, I could care less, they can all kill themselves, but when I read that this woman’s family was so angry and ashamed to learn she was a lesbian that her relatives hurled insults at her, pummeled her and, stripped her and held her down while a stranger raped her, I had to wonder yet again who the hell people think they’re kidding by praising and worshiping any kind of God that could let this happen. And yes, He’s just as guilty for allowing it to happen. What did these sickos think having her raped would do, make her love guys?
Ah, the nearest but not so dearest. It just goes to show once again that quite often our “family” isn’t those we’re born to, but those who love us as we are. I have to admit that not even my twisted family would do such a thing, and they’re bad enough. Bad enough that they never deserved me. I don’t know why I gave them as much of myself as I did after I turned 18, but building the self-esteem, self-respect and courage to break away from abusive people can take time.
Anyway, Africa’s one fucked up continent. Homosexuality is illegal in Uganda, though no one’s ever been convicted. The woman’s hiding out in Minnesota right now, pending the outcome of her case. My first thought was that she’d lose because she’s gay and she’s a woman. But she’s also black and those aren’t very deportable. We have Abe to thank for that for when he freed the blacks he forgot to send them back home where they belonged, and so we got stuck with them, and the people of today are paying for it and so will the people of 200 years from now, assuming an all-out war hasn’t killed everyone off by then.
Here’s another classic example of how I have to pay for fighting back. I’ve been getting spam like crazy from these damn Brits that are running this scam, trying to take advantage of people’s stupidity. I can’t block them out because they use a different email address for each of the 15 messages a day I get. So I decided why not spam the spammers? So I’d reply to all the messages with various mumbo-jumbo, then next thing I know it tells me I’ve sent all the messages I’m allotted to send within a 24-hour period. I didn’t even know there was a limit! But the point’s the same; I’m being punished for jamming up their mailbox like they do mine with absolutely no punishments attached whatsoever on their side. In fact, I’m sure they’re making a good amount of money for all the credit card numbers they must’ve sold by now or else they wouldn’t still be at it. The object of the game is to claim someone won a lot of money in a draw they never even entered, then ask that they call them. This is when they promise to deposit the money into your account or on your card if you give them the account information.
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Fake friends on weekends killing me slowly, getting back the time and love that I owed me. Finally getting good at letting go, mastering the art of how to be alone.
This has been quite the week. Once the work trips fall apart, they all seem to fall apart.
Wednesday ended up being "A Day" at my favorite bakery so I left a little earlier than usual to take a detour to get my free pie. It was worth it, even though I didn't realize I had a fork and literally had to fold the pie like a taco to eat it.
I made it to yoga, which was nice. My friends there were trying to be helpful by offering suggestions on places to move. I told them that I was supposed to be moving into an apartment next week but decided not to take it. I feel at peace with that decision.
After yoga, I rushed over to Students. It's sad to think that the school year is winding down and we only have a few weeks left. We're planning on having a summer itinerary though so that we can get together often.
That night at work ended up being a long one. We were supposed to go to San Antonio and boarded the flight, taxied out, and then had to go back to the gate due to the weather en route to San Antonio. Once we were back at the gate, the pilots called out fatigued since the fight got delayed until 5am. All of the routes to SAT were closed. We tried to call out fatigued, too, but they threatened us with zero pay and missed trips. Instead, they sent us to the hotel for a couple of hours. We had to Uber there and back and of course, they set it up that the Uber dropped us off at the training center and not the hotel so it was a long walk. By the time I got to my room, I had less than two hours to nap before getting back up at 3:40am to get ready, head back to the airport, and work the SAT turn. We got back late on Thursday, which was also pretty crappy.
Thursday night I wanted to call out from work but went since I was flying with friends. Everything went relatively smoothly and I made it to yoga on Friday afternoon. It was just what I needed.
Friday night turned out somewhat okay and Saturday morning I napped for a very short time before pulling myself off of my couch to go to slow flow yoga. I left there dripping in sweat and so exhausted but thought I'd try to go to Central Market and Trader Joe's but neither was a success since the crowds all came out and the parking was limited. I ended up going home and hanging out until it was time to go back to work.
I thought for sure we were going to cancel last night because they reassigned our pilots and had to find us new ones. The new ones were super close to going illegal so I wasn't sure that we would get out on time given the storms and the ramp being closed. We made it to Oklahoma City anyway, though it was later than planned, which also meant less sleep.
I can't tell you have relieved I was to get home this morning and know that I'm off for the night. I had every intention of going to church in Fort Worth but I was too tired to get up from my nap until the afternoon when I decided to run a few errands in town.
It's weird that it's Cinco de Mayo and I'm completely sober. I remember so many Cinco de Mayos before wanting to get a margarita all day. Back in 2015, I was a new hire flight attendant on reserve, calling scheduling every hour to ask if they'd release me so I could go to the Mexican restaurant next to my apartment to get a margarita. Even though this year is very different, I still might grab a margarita after yoga tonight.
This month marks one year since I moved across the metroplex. It honestly feels like it has been the longest year. It has been filled with a lot of good but also a lot of bad.
I remember going to my first yoga classes in Fort Worth and being that new person who knew no one and for the first few months, the instructors didn’t even know my name. I felt like I just couldn’t find my groove or fit in anywhere. I didn’t feel at home at all.
For most of last summer, I spent Tuesday through Thursday back in my old town, mainly so I could go to my yoga classes. I’d drop my dogs off at their sitter on Tuesdays and then live like a homeless person until Thursday afternoon. I’d go to yoga at noon on Tuesday, spend my afternoon running errands, going to appointments, and working from coffee shops. I’d fly on Tuesday nights and then make my way back there Wednesday for another yoga class and eventually Students in the evenings when school was back in session. I’d fly Wednesday nights, too, and then Thursday I’d go to one last class before picking up my dogs and heading home.
It was really rough living that life and now I can’t even imagine how I ever did that because lately I come home from work and crash on my couch for a good chunk of the day between trips. I’m working more than I’ve worked in years and it is really draining me. A friend sent me a meme a few years ago, back when I worked a lot, and it said something like, “My mom said I need to find a rich man. I said, ‘Mom, I am a rich man!’” Life would definitely be better and easier if we finally got our new contract, a raise, and some retro pay, but whether we do or we don’t, my goal is to try to earn 6 figures this year and if I keep flying as much as I am right now, that very well might be possible.
I’m learning to make the best out of every situation and appreciate the things I have. I think that a lot of times, we don’t realize what we have until it’s too late. I’m learning to work with what I have to reach my goals even if other things in my life don’t improve.
It has been almost 2 years since I lost Dan and rereading some of his texts now makes me realize all the things I wish I had now, are all the things I had when he was alive. I wanted someone to fight for me and believe in fixing things instead of walking away. I wanted someone to feel like I was the best thing that ever happened to them. Shortly after he passed away, I made a little video since there was a text message trend going on. I'll share it here:
Reading over Dan's old texts made me realize that at one point, we switched roles. Dan went from being the avoidant to being the anxious one. In our relationship, long before all of these texts, and in my relationships since, Dan sounded like me. All the things he said to me are things I've said to guys I've had in my life since. He never wanted to let me go a day without knowing how he felt about me, and it means so much to me to look back on all of that now and know that at one point in my life, there was a guy who thought the world of me and loved me despite my flaws.
These last few months have allowed me a lot of time to shift my focus. I've been working more, making more money, prioritizing my health/fitness, trying to make new friends and maintain friendships with old ones, spending time with family, and really learning more about myself and what I want in my life. I've also had the opportunity to spend more time with God, reading my devotionals and praying for guidance.
When we drove home from Oklahoma a few weekends ago, my friend Nancy made me realize that it's ok to take a pause and enjoy being single and not dating right now. I'm getting the opportunity to self-reflect and realign my priorities. It's ok to put yourself first and do what makes you happy. I'm ok right now pausing dating and pausing my move to be able to work on other more important things. With God, anything is possible and sometimes, you just need to let go and let God.
xoxo
Annie
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My Barbenheimer Experience
(I don’t think there are any spoilers here, just basic thoughts on the movies)
Saturday, July 22, 2023 7:23 PM
I guess I feel the need to type “Barbenheimer” even more this weekend so I figured I’d recap my busy Friday at the movies. It was definitely an experience and people need to know this information. Yes, this is important.
WELL, I’m on the internet so I was aware of the Barbenheimer meme phenomenon and knew I’d see both movies at some point but didn’t make any plans until my friend BJ texted a week or 2 ago asking if I’d want to join he and 1 or 2 other people for the movie event of the year. It doesn’t take much to get me to watch movies so I said I was down. We got our tickets for a 10:45 showing of Oppenheimer on one of the XD screens at Tinseltown in Grapevine followed by Barbie at 5:30. Cool.
So Friday rolls around and I drive the half hour over to the theater, which I don’t go to often these days but it was the main place I saw movies at in high school so it always makes me think of the late 90s when I go back. I remember Friday nights and teenagers driving fancy cars their parents bought them. #memories Anyway…
I met up with BJ in the lobby as he waited for his friend Michael. I got a large popcorn and a bottled water, my usual lately. I found our seats and went for a successful pee and sat back down like 30 seconds before the movie started. Now, to be clear I think all I knew about Oppenheimer, the actual person, was that he was the father of the atomic bomb. I was more going to see the new Christopher Nolan movie than because I’m a history buff but I was glad to have a chance to learn more.
The screen was gigantic, like 3 or 4 stories high, and the filmmaking and acting were top notch but there was more talking than I expected and for some reason I kept losing focus and just blanking out for whole scenes, which of course were important to remember later, so I kept feeling like it was going over my head. I think I’m going through a sort of personal Christopher Nolan existential crisis where I can’t tell if I’m a fan anymore. I respect and admire his ambition but I’ve been having a difficult time hooking into the stories in his movies. I think maybe he’s smarter than me and I feel kinda dumb. Yesterday, I kept telling myself that it was an important story and that I should pay attention better but I just couldn’t chill out and enjoy the movie like a normal person. Maybe I was thinking too much about how I was going to watch another movie afterwards, I’m not sure. I just know that as the movie kept going I got noticeably sleepier, which doesn’t typically happen with me at movies. Like I kinda wanted to take a nap even though I got decent sleep the night before.
All this to say I had a pretty lukewarm feeling about the movie by the end of it, which I’m pretty sure isn’t the normal response; most seem to be blown away by it. I’m seriously not sure what my deal is because I think it was a good movie and I’d recommend it, but I was just sorta bored if I’m being honest. I’m sure it’ll be nominated for Best Picture later and maybe I’ll revisit it but I just wasn’t feeling it much on the first viewing.
Anyway, after it was over we walked out and the other 2 seemed more positive than I was. We had 3 hours to kill before Barbie and Michael went home so I hung out with BJ. We went to his house where his wife and 2 of his daughters were and it was hilarious to me that we were leaving them soon after to go watch Barbie with 2 other dudes (a 4th, Codey, joined us).
If you asked me before we went which of the 2 movies I was looking forward to the most it would 1,000 times be Barbie. I’m a big fan of Greta Gerwig’s previous 2 movies Lady Bird and Little Women and was excited to see what she would do with a giant Hollywood movie. I don’t have much of a connection to Barbie as a toy but it’s an interesting pop cultural thing to play around with and the trailers and promotional material made it look like a blast. Also, her partner Noah Baumbach co-wrote the script with her, and he’s a director I enjoy, as well as his writing collaborations with Wes Anderson, (The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou and Fantastic Mr. Fox) so Barbie has been in the “stick it in my veins”-zone for me for a while.
Anyway, I was disappointed with one thing going in. Where we got to see Oppenheimer on a gigantic screen, Barbie was playing in one of those older, longer auditoriums and we were sitting near the back so the screen was maybe 8 times tinier. I knew the movie was going to be dynamite visually so I wished we could’ve been closer to the screen (maybe I’ll see it again just for that reason). I didn’t mention this earlier but ALL DAY LONG we were passing by groups of people dressed in pink and it seemed like over half the people in our screening were outfitted for the movie, which added a fun extra layer to the experience. BJ and I thought about going to Target between the movies to get pink shirts but didn’t make it.
I thought the movie was incredibly entertaining and creative and super weird for a big studio tentpole, which made me like it even more. I don’t know how Gerwig got away with so much of what happened. I can see a lot of people not enjoying it, but I admired how boldly it was its own thing; it felt very punk rock for a movie that’s going to make boatloads of dollars. It reminded me of The LEGO Movie in how it used the IP in a fresh way and made an actual good movie out of a film that was probably put into production mainly to sell toys. The most impressive parts of Barbie to me were clearly the production design and the performances. I couldn’t believe how cool the sets and props looked and Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling could seriously, weirdly be nominated for Oscars for playing these toys.
More than anything the movie reminded me of things like The Brady Bunch Movie in how it took a beloved, if dated, property and honored it while also satirizing what it stands for. I remember seeing that movie in the 90s when it came out and not getting it and thinking it wasn’t very good, but I rewatched it a few years ago and thought it was hilarious. Heh.
If you haven’t seen Gerwig talk about the movie’s inspirations they’re pretty interesting. She’s cited The Wizard of Oz, The Truman Show, Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, Singin’ in the Rain, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Rear Window and many others as references. It’s fun to think of the movie leading young, emerging cinephiles to some true classics.
I’m glad I was able to see both movies on the same day and fulfill the meme but it was honestly a LOT and I don’t think I processed either one especially well. This was a special movie day though and I’m happy I got to participate. I think that’s about it. Thanks for reading.
SUBLIME!
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“Would it make you feel better if I lied to you and pretended that I was going to get some sleep?,” I ask you, tucking my hair behind my ear. Now that I was up, I was going to take advantage of the free time that I had and get some work done. It was the weekend and I didn’t have much free time on the weekend since I was with Noah always. Of course, I wouldn’t have it any other way but it meant I was unable to get much done unless he was napping. “Just think how many more hours I have in the day now! I can get so much more done now,” I say, not realizing that would not make you feel any better. “Please don’t be mad at me,” I pout at you, hating the idea of you being upset with me. I was a natural people pleaser and besides my son, you were the one person that it would kill me the most to disappoint, even if it was over something as small as this.
Seb just shakes his head, realizing he wasn’t going to win this and that he was better off just letting you do whatever you wanted. “I’m not mad at you. I just wish you’d listen and relax. The sun isn’t even up yet...” He sighs, stuffing his dirty clothes back into his duffle and slinging it over his shoulder. “I hope you have a fun morning of doing work and not relaxing like I want you too. It sounds like such a fun time.” He leans down and pecks your lips, pulling back and looking down at you. “Next time, I’m not letting you get up.” He pecks your lips again before standing up straight. “Have a good day, babe. I’m sure I’ll get a text from Don later about how you ranted and raved about my lovemaking skills.”
__
Emma was irritated now, even more grumpy than normal and she could not understand why she cared so much. She found herself wanting to text you to warn you but she didn’t even have your number. If she gave her number to you, you would probably just send her a bunch of cutesy emojis. “Whatever, do whatever you want,” Emma said to Regina. “It’s nice to see that you don’t have actual work to do,” she said, fixing her leather jacket before standing up and brushing past Regina, having a real attitude about her now. She was so irritated that Regina was just going to go to the diner to flirt with you in the middle of the day. She hated herself for putting the idea in her head and she hated that she was letting it affect her. It’s not like you actually liked Emma anyways. Emma was terrible at believing anyone actually liked her. Especially after everything that happened with Killian, it had killed her to know that he didn’t care for her like she cared for him.
Regina watched Emma with a confused look, the blonde’s attitude was always pretty bad recently but this was different. Emma usually never came at Regina like that, at least not since they finally became friendly a few years ago. “Emma, you used to slack off actual work all the time to go make out with Captain Guyliner, so please don’t act all holier than thou right now because I for once want to do something non-work related. I’m sorry that you’re newly single but that doesn’t give you the right to be rude and jealous.” Regina grabs her jacket and shrugs it on, obviously annoyed at Emma’s rudeness. “Take your pissy attitude somewhere else and I’ll see you later, Miss Swan.” She never referred to Emma as ‘Miss Swan’ anymore, but her friend was pissing her off so royally right now that she couldn’t help but go back to that time when they hated one another. She walks out of the office, slamming the door behind her, brushing past Emma and walking down the hall and out of the building, not waiting for her friend like she normally would.
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Okay so I’ve been searching for the bottle for the past hour so I can show you a picture, but I can’t find it so I’ll probably have to ask my mom if she moved it somewhere else.
And to add more to the story, my aunt kinda got possesses some time around 2009-2011 maybe (I can’t really remember the exact time, I was a kid and the adults tried to keep us away from the situation when it was happening), but my aunt started acting very off one night after a party from what my mom told me. It happened like between the hours of 1-3 am on a weekend, and my parents got a phone call from some of my other aunts and uncles to tell them that one of my aunts was acting strange. They had to drop us off, then return to the party, hold her down until they could get her home, and then that’s when my aunt started to react more violent with strength she’s never had. She supposedly clawed, hissed, and said some really offensive things in a voice that sounded nothing like hers, and she couldn’t be held down that well by like 8 people. Eventually she started talking about the dead people in the room and even pointed to one of my uncles and how they’ll come for him soon (he had cancer and sadly did pass away maybe about a year later). The adults didn’t know what to do with her since it was a weekend and the night, so the church we usually went to was closed, and we couldn’t interrupt mass services the next day, but they stayed most of the weekend holding my aunt down and praying around her, until they could ask our priest for help on Monday. It all mostly calmed down by then (my aunt said she couldn’t remember anything, but she did feel sore and couldn’t move well. For the record she was not drunk that night), but since things were calm the most he did was give us some holy water in a Pepsi bottle (not coke), and told us if anything happens again and the holy water isn’t enough to go get him.
I didn’t believe much in it, until I watched a smosh video where they talked about spooky reddit stories, and one of the stories discussed was about a women having an encounter with a mimic. For those who don’t know a mimic is an entity that appears as someone you know, often someone you love or care about, and they usually from what I understand pull a prank of some sort, but then vanish and feed off the negative energies that attach to you if you don’t clear the area from where the encounter happened (I commented this story on that video I think). Anyway, my aunt had an encounter somewhere around the 2004-2006 years where she lived with my family, and while trying to nap in the living room she was woken by either my brother or me jumping on the couches and changing something (most likely me since I was the age to jump on couches at the time), but the thing is… I wasn’t home at the time that happened, and if I was home I was asleep in my room, because I remember well the conversation she had with me where she confronted me for not letting her sleep., and I was so confused because I wasn’t jumping on any couches. My mom quickly defended me and said it wasn’t me or my brother because we weren’t home, and my aunt just left it at that and the conversation was over. We never cleansed the house or even speculated that it could be an entity until years later.
So yeah, that’s basically how we got a Pepsi bottle of holy water
Y'all I just remembered that one time I woke up at two am cause of a noise and decided it was either someone breaking in or a ghost
So I grabbed me bat and realized I didn't have any salt for the potential ghost
So y'know what I fuckin did
I grabbed my half empty sprite cause that shit got a lot of sodium
There I am doing the corners round my house armed with a bat and fucking sprite
At two am
It was my cat, she knocked over me ritz
#for the record my aunt was never possessed again and she doesn’t live in the same state as us anymore#at the time this happened her energy was very negative so it wouldn’t surprise me if something did attach itself to her#I didn’t believe in much paranormal things as a kid but now that I’m older I’ve been so fascinated by anything involving it#I wish I could’ve witnessed that but I’m happy my family was careful with keeping us safe#and to think the dots all connected because of a Smosh video for me#paranormal#mimics#smosh
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🎃Kinktober Day 13🎃
Day Prompt: Breeding/Olfactophilia/Public
Word Count: 908
Warnings: +18 (MDNI), sexual content, teasing in public spaces, kinda getting caught (?), my English as usual.
A/N: I know, I know, barely made deadline lol. Surprisingly, I've been a busy bean these days, man. (Actually, later than intended bc I forgot that I actually didn’t post it only saved it 💀)
Robin Buckley x F!Reader
Dating Robin was anything but boring. There was no dull moment with her, her personality not allowing for a moment of stillness, not even when you two took a nap. So it was really no surprise when that lack of physical control transferred into the bedroom. Robin was…energetic. But not in a bad way, but with time she had learned just how to do it right, how to allow her wandering hands to leave grand touches while she busied into exploring your whole body. But as you found progress behind closed doors, Robin began to show the restraint breaking through in public. Robin was always a touchy person, her love language was touch in an unconventional way, and you were used to that. But you weren’t used to how Robin how found comfort in teasing you in public. Her hand on your thigh used to be an innocent touch, and now she indulged in letting it go past grasping your thigh to ghost a finger on your unaware clothed pussy. The first time she’d done it you had gasped loudly. You had been watching a scary movie at your place as the weekend tradition; Nancy, Jonathan (who had come for the weekend to visit Nancy), Steve, and Eddie had been there. They all had asked if you were ok, and let it go when you—red all over—said yes. Later that night Robin had apologized, and said she couldn’t help herself. You let it go, but then it happened again when you two were having lunch during her break while Steve tried to score a date with a client. Instead of physical teasing, she had gone for verbal, letting you know she was absolutely horny and told you all the things she wanted to do to you. And then a mixture of both followed days later, and so on.
You couldn’t stop her, and part of you didn’t want to either. While there was a nagging fear of getting caught, there was another thrill that hit right down your pussy that made you ridiculously wet.
And Robin picked up on by the third week of her unyielding teasing.
And you never knew when it would come, and you had definitely not expected her to do at the local theater with your friend group as you all watched Ferris Bueller’s day off.
Her hand was on your thigh, squeezing every so often, and she had been doing so for a while. She hadn’t moved from that point, but almost knowing what her intentions were your pussy grew wet. Your mistake had been to wear a skirt. It was June, and it had been a nice day to wear one, and Robin seemed to want to take advantage of the rare occasion.
Your friends and the rest of the audience laughed and watched the movie, which told you it was a good one. You would have to rewatch it again someday. Your mind was more preoccupied on keeping you in check, making sure you didn’t make a sound to avert anyone’s eyes to you. Your friends would tease you, but if anyone else did, you and Robin would be branded the queers of town and you two might get arrested for trying to get frisky in public.
And at some point, those thoughts didn’t matter anymore because Robin was now teasing the skin between your pussy lips and your inner thighs. Your underwear was a sticky mess, you knew if she dared press on it the mess would give a small squelch that could be heard only in the silence of your room or hers. Robin was attentive of the screen, but the light of the screen reflected on her face showing the smallest of frowns which was the only sign that she was concentrating on what she was doing. It made you smile but it quickly dropped when a slim finger slipped under your soaked undies. You filled your mouth with popcorn to cover a small gasp, but you saw Robin steal a look at you. Her eyes were wide as she glanced down where her hand was.
“So wet,” she mouthed, a soft flush spreading on her cheeks as she forced herself to look back at the screen. Her finger roamed the length of your slit, dragging the slick with her. Chewing had never seemed more difficult than it did then, trying to properly chew and not choke was a challenge. But you did just fine, and thankfully you did because you might’ve choked had her finger dipped inside of only seconds sooner.
Eddie sat next to you, slightly less attentive of the movie than the majority of the theater. He spared you a look at you were turning away with a poorly hidden grin. You blushed madly at turned to Robin trying to tell her that Eddie probably could guess what was going on. It seemed you two weren’t as secretive as you thought.
But nothing stopped Robin, her finger slowly dragging in and out of you, careful to not make too much noise. But you swore you could hear the faintest of squelches, maybe it was your mind though. You hoped it was your mind. Her lone finger drove into madness, turning you on more than you cared to admit, legs spreading slightly more practically asking for more, but she didn’t give in.
There was no intention of letting you cum it seemed, only torturous teasing.
#theravenclawlover#Kinktober 2022#Robin Buckley#Robin Buckley x reader#Robin Buckley smut#Robin Buckley x reader smut#Stranger Things
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Can you a Draco Smut where he gets bored and literally just decides to make out with and suck your clit slowly like lazily and teases you into an orgasm?
bored | draco malfoy smut 18+
draco malfoy x fem!reader
summary: draco’s bored so he decides to eat you out
warnings: 18+, smut, oral (female receiving), degradation?, really cute boyfriend!draco
word count: 2.1k
For some reason, lessons today felt like they had dragged on for far too long. Snape’s monotone voice had only drowned you deeper into a pit of boredom from where you sat at the back of his DADA lesson during the last period of the day, hoping that time would just speed up so you could spend your Friday evening with your boyfriend.
And finally the time came where Snape eventually dismissed the class, but not without a pile of homework and a stern message about the N.E.W.T exams quickly approaching. You didn’t even want to think about any of that right now; N.E.W.T level DADA would be the death of you, you were sure of that much.
“Come on pretty girl,” Draco whispered, his arm tucking around your shoulders, your head leaning on his shoulder slightly as you left the classroom. “You can nap in my room, or read - whatever you want.”
You smiled at that - you loved Draco’s room. He was a prefect, not to mention a Malfoy, so he got special privileges; one of them being a room all to himself. His double bed was far comfier than the single you had in your dormitory, which was where you found yourself five minutes later.
Your robe had been ditched; chucked somewhere onto the floor before Draco could even enter the room. You collapsed onto his bed, lying horizontally across the bottom half and staring up at the ceiling as you heard a huff come from Draco. You craned your head in time to see him swipe your uniform off the floor.
Draco didn’t even bother to scold you anymore - no matter how many times he said it, you always forgot his ‘nothing but feet on the floor’ policy. It sort of surprised you when you found out how tidy he was — much more organised than you, who couldn’t even be bothered to take your shoes off.
You wiggled your legs which were dangling off the end of the mattress and Draco rolled his eyes, finishing folding your robe and placing it on the back of his desk chair before moving over to your feet. His hand grabbed the back of your heel and he began to undo the laces of your school shoes, staring at you in amusement.
“You have me running around like a House-Elf for you,” he huffed.
You grinned up at him, lifting your head so you could see him properly. “I know,” you chirped.
Draco finally got both your shoes off, your toes wiggling in your tights as they thanked you for finally releasing them from their tight confidements. You watched your blond boyfriend move around the room to place your shoes neatly by the door before he peeled his robes and shoes off too, putting them away also tidily.
“You’re lucky you’re pretty, darling,” Draco muttered, shooting you a look as he climbed onto his bed, his back against the headboard as he grabbed his book off of the bedside table. “You gonna sleep?”
“No, just lay here,” you murmured back, your fingers fiddling with the detail of his silk bed covers. “I just want to… reflect on my day.”
“Oh, that meditation thing you’ve been doing?” Draco hummed, not lifting his eyes from his book as he stretched his legs out, them resting by your head from where you were curled up at the bottom of his bed.
“Reflecting is not necessarily meditating, Draco,” you reminded him for the hundredth time. “Just because you have no thoughts whatsoever.”
“I have no thoughts?” Draco glanced over, raising his eyebrows at you.
You giggled. “Yeah - I bet it’s just lift music in your head.”
“Lift music?” Draco repeated, confused.
Your eyes lit up - another fact you could give him. You loved how confused he looked whenever you told him about the other world he had grown up despising. You adored the way he asked questions and pretended not to be interested sometimes.
“A lift is a Muggle invention. It’s a metal box thing that replaces stairs sometimes; you get in, press which floor you want and it takes you up or down,” you explained to him, “And there is music inside it sometimes. And it’s really slow and…” You noticed the weird look on Draco’s face, your voice fading away. “Never mind.”
“I don’t get it,” Draco hummed before turning back to his book.
It made you giggle and shake your head. You closed your eyes soon after, just thinking. About Draco, about the homework Snape had set you, the Hogsmeade trip you planned to go on with Pansy next weekend…
You can feel his eyes on you.
Your own peel open and you turn to face him. “What?”
“My book’s shit,” he admitted.
“You’re halfway through it.”
“Yeah, and it’s shit.”
You frowned, your eyes moving from his face to the cover of said shit book. “I recommended that to you,” you pouted slightly.
“Which is why, as you can see, I’ve tried to like it - but I can’t,” Draco said, placing the book back down onto the bedside table. “It’s boring. And I’m bored.”
“How?” You cocked an eyebrow at him. “Classes literally ended twenty minutes ago max.”
Draco shot you a look. “So? I’m still bored.”
“Too bad, I’m -”
“You’re meditating, I know.”
“It’s not - Ugh, whatever. Yes, I’m meditating, so leave me alone,” you replied, rolling your eyes before closing them yet again.
There was more silence. Draco seemed to respect your wishes, not saying another word. All you could feel was the silk sheets beneath your body, all you could smell was Draco’s scent and the fresh fragrance of his bed covers, and all you could hear was the sound of your breathing and Draco’s - as well as the sound of him adjusting himself on the bed a little bit.
You wished you could stay like this forever. After the long day you’d just had, this was the perfect way to end it. Maybe some cuddles from Draco would make it better, but that could come a bit later, maybe after dinner.
Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt a weight above your legs. Your eyes cracked open and you glanced down, your brows furrowing at Draco. He wasn’t even looking at your face, he didn’t say a word, but he reached for your skirt and flipped it above your stomach, pulling your tights and panties down in one go.
“Draco -” You were cut off by his cold finger sliding up through your folds.
“Shh,” Draco muttered, still not even glancing at you, too focused on what was between your legs. “Go back to your meditating. I’m just… entertaining myself.”
You couldn’t complain with that. You found yourself complying, your head tilting back so you were facing the ceiling, your eyes closing. You weren’t really wet, much to Draco’s dismay, but you soon felt him spitting on your clit and felt it drip down your folds. His fingers slid it around, knocking purposefully at your bundle of nerves and causing arousal to spike through you.
When you felt yourself begin to get wet, your clit throbbing beneath his lazy, aimless touch, you couldn’t help but open your eyes, glancing down at him. He wasn’t even sitting between your legs - just beside you, his hand reaching for your cunt like he was half-heartedly playing some sort of game.
Draco’s silver eyes were entranced by your cunt, his fingers experimenting as they changed direction, moved about, all so agonisingly slow. After a minute of the torturous pace, his eyes flickered up to you and he lifted his hand towards your face.
“Wanna taste?” He asked as if he was talking about sharing food.
You opened your mouth anyway, two of Draco’s fingers slipping inside. You sucked around his digits, your tongue being invaded by your own taste - a taste that Draco insisted he could never get enough of. He pulled his hand away when you were done, looking back down at your cunt and beginning to rub again.
“Draco,” you whispered desperately as he hit the right place.
He glanced back up at you, smirking a little. “Does it feel good?” He murmured, voice deep and barely above a whisper.
“Mhm,” you mumbled back, eyes clenching shut again.
His mouth touching your cunt nearly made you jump. Everything about what he was doing was so lazy, as if he had all the time in the world and he wasn’t there to make you cum but to just satisfy his own boredom and curiosity. Maybe that was the only reason he was touching you like this, but either way, you liked it. You liked the teasing nature of the whole thing, even though it was tortuous how slowly his tongue came out to lick up your folds.
Everything inside you wanted to wither and grab at his hair and tug, begging him to go faster, but you refrained; your hands remained gripping the sheets beside you, your small whimpers that made Draco’s cock hard filling his bedroom.
His mouth was wet, a mixture of his own spit and your arousal, as it wrapped around your bundle of nerves, your back nearly arching as he began to suck softly. Your breath hitched, not used to the aimlessness of it all. It almost felt careless, but his hand on your thigh said otherwise as his thumb stroked circles against your skin.
Your lips pursed together, a moan threatening to leave your mouth as Draco sucked, his aristocratic-like lips working idly. His tongue peeked to swipe across you and this time your stomach clenched, your legs nearly clamping around his head. But Draco’s grip on your thigh tightened a bit in warning.
“Draco, please…” You whimpered, one hand going down to gently grasp at his platinum locks.
His head pulled away with your hand still in his hair, much to your dismay. He leaned his head against your thigh, staring down at your dripping cunt. His finger moved towards it and he circled your swollen clit, feeling your legs tremble slightly beneath him. Then his thumb came out and he rubbed it in small figure of eights, his breath still fanning you from where he used your thigh as a pillow.
“So pretty…” Draco muttered.
You swore if he didn’t start acting like his usual rough self then you were going to start crying. It was agonising, the way he seemed to not care. In a way, it felt degrading - like this was for him and not for you, and it only made you soak his fingers even further.
Draco’s mouth dived back in for your clit. It was like he was making out with it, his lips capturing it and sucking, his teeth grazing it slightly just to hear your small hisses and loud whimpers. His nose nuzzled against your mound, his hands still on your thighs.
When you looked down, all you could see was the slow bobbing of his head. His tongue was unmatched, skillful and taunting, slow and painful, and you would do anything to cum right now. Anything.
You could feel the tightening sensation in your stomach, your brain growing fuzzier and fuzzier as you acted with your hormones rather than your brain. Your hand gripped his hair tighter, your hips rolling for more, faster friction. You half-expected Draco to pull away from you and warn you to keep still, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“I’m gonna cum,” you admitted breathlessly.
Draco hummed against you, the vibrations making you cry out a little. You lifted your head back up to look down at him, finding his eyes already concentrated on you as he sucked your clit, rolling the knot between his tongue gently. You moaned loudly.
“Fuck, I’m cumming,” you hissed quickly before your orgasm washed over you.
Draco helped you ride it out, his tongue lapping up every wave of arousal, his hands still brushing your thighs comfortingly. He even groaned around your clit, encouraging you as you rolled your hips, your legs trembling even harder. His name slipped past your lips several times as well as some curses, before you were left breathing heavily on the mattress.
A whine left you when Draco didn’t stop kissing your cunt. “Draco…” You jerked beneath him slightly. “I’m sensitive.”
“I’m bored,” he murmured back as he pulled away, his fingers working at your clit and making you yell out in a mixture of pain and pleasure.
You knew for certain now; this was never about pleasing you, it was always about satisfying himself - and you knew you weren’t going to be let off the hook anytime soon.
TAGLIST: @edithreads @abbott27 @Sweetvnlla @skaratjung @lolooo22 @yyoflam @fjorelaant @cpetrova @bby-gxrnet @draysslytherclaw @dawnmalfoy @miarivi @hpotter3390 @justfangirlthingies @fleurwands @hufflepuffsophie @riddleswh0r3crux @dracosathenaeum @weaselbrownie @Dracoscumwh0re @miraclesoflove @wh0re4blaise @ilovemoviekidd826 @drarrysimp
#draco malfoy imagine#draco malfoy#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy smut#harry potter#draco malfoy x female reader#draco malfoy fanfic#draco malfoy fluff#draco malfoy x you#draco malfoy x y/n#draco#malfoy
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