#i could use a rly long hug 2day

[kuromi-hoemie]

talking about not being loved on back as a top and being unwanted and unloved as children on tumblr's hitting too close to home this morning (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

[hamilton-one-shots]

Hamilton High School AU 36

When he woke up hours later, Alexander groaned and sat up, feeling bloated from the pizza and overall, just gross. "John?.." He tried shaking him away. "John?.." He looked over and saw that he was shaking a pillow. He frowned and looked around, finding a note on the nightstand in John's handwriting.

[Hey, Alex. If you're reading this, I'm not at the apartment. I left to make sure my siblings were back home and okay and I'm going to make them some dinner. I left at 5 and I should be back no later than 6. If you want something specific for dinner, please text me to tell me. Otherwise, please text me anyways when you're awake and let me know how you're feeling. I'll explain everything that I know when I get back. I love you <3]

Alexander tutted and looked at the time. 5:48. At least he'd be back soon. He grabbed his phone and texted him. [hey] [im awaek] [awake*] [miss u] Then he figured that he at least owed Aaron a thanks. [hey] [im ok] [thnx 4 2day] [rly] [oew u big time] He sighed and put his phone in his pocket, then quickly took it back out. "What?.." He threw back the covers and gasped in horror at the warm, wet patch spread across the mattress. It couldn't exactly be helped with the drugs in his system, but still.. Did it have to be in John's bed?.. He got up and stripped the sheets off of the bed before stripping off his wet clothes and heading to the bathroom, taking a quick shower. He put on some of John's clothes and put a new set of bed sheets on the bed before taking the rest downstairs to the building's shared washing machines.

Aaron was the first to respond to the text messages. [I'm glad to hear that.] [Thomas didn't have anything to do with it, by the way. It was Jay.] [He got the drugs from Thomas, but he only gave them to him to get rid of. He said he never was going to use them on you.] [But I don't blame you if you don't believe me.]

John responded soon after. [I miss you too. I'll be home soon, I promise <3] [Do you want anything in particular to eat? I'll make you whatever you want whenever I get home.]

Alexander smiled and went to the group chat, figuring the rest of his friends would want to know he was okay.

[John's Bitch: hey] [John's Bitch: i lived] [John's Bitch: kinda] [John's Bitch: evrythin is sore] [John's Bitch: but im ok]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: Thank goodness! I was so worried about you! 😫]

[MamasBoi: thank fuck] [MamasBoi: what happened?? Jefferson?]

[John's Bitch: idk] [John's Bitch: i dnt thnk so] [John's Bitch: i dnt trst jay]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: I hope you feel better soon. Are you guys still up for the party tonight?]

[OhMyGod:*: Not sure.]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: Maybe we should reschedule?]

[OhMyGod:*: Not if it'd be too much trouble. Its more Alexander's choice.]

[John's Bitch: no its cwl] [John's Bitch: ur mom jst caem home] [John's Bitch: we shoud selebr8]

[MamasBoi: you sure?] [MamasBoi: At least take it easy with drinks 😜]

[John's Bitch: wil do] [John's Bitch: no intenshons of goin loopy] [John's Bitch: ..agen]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: Its fine <3 I'm just glad that you're okay.] [Kitty Mom 🐱: I'll snag that vodka bottle from your room.] [Kitty Mom 🐱: Hey, with that and all of the other alcohol around, there's no doubt that John will get wasted! : D]

[OhMyGod:*: Why are you so happy for that?]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: Maybe seeing you act like an idiot will help him feel better! : D]

[OhMyGod:*: Wow...] [OhMyGod:*: Glad I can help.]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: <3 <3 <3]

John finally showed up as Alexander sat by the dryer and wrapped his arms around him, kissing his cheek. "Hey, I was so worried about you..."

"I'm okay.. Just a bit off.."

"Okay.. What are you doing down here?"

Alexander hesitated to respond. "I... I wet the bed.. I just woke up and.. Yeah... But I changed the sheets and everything.. I'm sorry.."

"I'm not upset or anything. I know you couldn't help it."

Alexander nodded, though he was still embarrassed by the fact.

John held him close. "I'm going to kill Jay on Monday.. I don't know what he was planning on doing, but he used the date-rape drug on you.."

"He was acting funny since I got in the car.. Something about being my resident John and getting Jefferson there and buying my drinks.. I should've seen it.."

"You couldn't have known. Those things are meant to be undetectable.. You're okay now and that's what matters..."

Alexander looked up at him. "Everything was blurry and bright and scary.. But you came and I knew everything was going to be okay.." He smiled.

John kissed his cheek and smiled. "Of course. You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I love you so much.."

Alexander couldn't help but blush. "I'm so lucky to have you.. Even when you make me eat my body's weight in pizza," he chuckled. He remembered pretty much everything from the past few hours.

John rolled his eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah. Why don't we take the sheets and your clothes upstairs, then get ready for the party?"

"Sounds like a plan."

John grabbed everything from the dryer once it went off, then took it upstairs. He gave Alexander his clothes and folded his sheets, then left with him and walked to Herc's place.

When they got there, Sarah greeted them with a wide smile. "Ally! It has been too long!" She pulled him into a tight hug before taking a second to look at him. "You've gained some weight, I see! That's great!"

Maybe the others may not have noticed it as much, but it was definitely true. Compared to just a week ago, Alexander didn't look nearly as frail, though he did feel like his eyes would pop out of his skull if Sarah hugged him like that again.

"Are you calling me fat?" he teased, causing her to roll her eyes.

"Oh, hush." She smiled and turned to John. "Martha was such a little lady earlier, John. She insisted on helping clean before leaving. She's so mature."

John nodded. "That's Martha for you."

Sarah smiled and led them to the living room where Lafayette and Hercules were sitting on the sofa, already with drinks in their hand and shot glasses on the table.

"Hey, guys," Hercules greeted. "Come join us." The game in front of them was a Snakes and Ladders board modified for other purposes. Most spaces without a snake or ladder occupying it had an instruction written in instead.

John sat down with them and took the dice as Lafayette handed them to him. He chose a game piece and rolled the dice, moving as the dice instructed. He landed on a blank piece and tutted, giving the dice to Alexander. "Want to play?"

"Yeah, sure." He rolled the dice and on 'Down your drink'. "Ha! Stupid game, I don't have a drink ye-" He cut himself off as Hercules pushed his glass of Guinness in his direction. "Gee, thanks. Herc-germs." He picked up the glass and downed it's contents. The glass had only been half full and the drink wasn't particularly strong, so it was no mystery as to why he gave him that one.

Lafayette took his turn next, rolling the dice and landing on 'Everyone Takes a Shot'. He grinned and poured some of the vodka that he'd snagged from Alexander's room into the shot glasses that surrounded the table.

Alexander almost wanted to protest, but he did practically drink all of Laf's wine last time they'd gotten drunk. It was only fair. He took his shot and watched as Hercules took his turn, landing on a blank spot before handing John the dice.

John rolled the dice and moved his piece, also landing on 'Down Your Drink'. Before he could make the same joke as Alexander, Lafayette poured a glass of wine for him. "Thanks for the girly drink," he joked, knowing how strong the drink really was as it scorched his throat. "Christ, Laf."

Alexander watched and felt memories flood back of last time. He grabbed the sharpie from the table and scribbled untidily on a few of the blank tiles 'Kiss BF'.

Hercules chuckled. "Someone's trying to say something."

"Shut up." He rolled the dice and moved his piece, landing on 'Next player takes a shot'. "There you go, Laf."

He shrugged and downed the shot like it was nothing, taking his turn and landing on a blank space.

While Hercules took his turn, John turned to face Alexander with a cheeky grin. "If you wanted a kiss, all you had to do was ask." He cupped Alexander's face in his hands and pressed his lips to his in a loving kiss.

Alexander let his eyes fall shut as he kissed back, intoxicated by the taste of the wine on John's tongue. He only pulled away when Hercules cleared his throat to get their attention. "What? Is it my turn?"

"No, Casanova, it's where I landed." He pointed at the 'Choose a player to take a shot' written on the tile.

Alexander tutted and poured himself a shot, then downed it. He was certainly starting to feel a light buzz, though he could've sworn that it was more from the taste of John's lips than of any alcohol he drank.

John watched him, in a love struck daze until Lafayette got his attention.

"Your turn, John."

"Yeah, yeah." He took the dice and moved, grinning as he landed on 'Kiss BF'. Perfect. He turned to Alexander and pulled him into a passionate kiss, not pulling away until he was out of breath. "How was that for a kiss?" he asked with a cheeky grin as he dropped the dice into Alexander's palm.

All that escaped Alexander was a strained squeak. He blushed and rolled the dice, lazily rolling them across the board and landing on another 'Down Your Drink' tile. He tutted and downed a glass of wine, though he thought it was too good to waste like that.

"Maybe you should skip a few turns.." Hercules suggested. After all, it wasn't like Alexander hadn't just gotten date raped. Still, Alexander made them promise not to bring it up, so he threw in a joke for good measure. "Otherwise, you'll be borrowing condoms before you get up the stairs."

Alexander shot him a playful glare, but it worked.

It worked for John, too. He went quiet for a second. "Maybe I should skip a few turns, too.."

Hercules cursed himself for that comment and cursed the alcohol for making him lose his ability to censor his thoughts.

Lafayette shifted everyone's focus back to the game, taking his turn and landing on a blank space.

Hercules went next. Another blank space. They went back and forth like that for a minute until Alexander piped up.

"Don't you have anything else to fill the spaces with?"

"Do you have anything in mind?" Hercules asked, offering the sharpie.

"Maybe.." He wrote on a few more blank spaces 'text'.

"Text?" Lafayette asked.

"Yeah. You choose someone and give them your phone and they choose anyone to text."

"Very evil. I like it." Hercules nodded in approval before offering John the dice.

"Sure." He smiled a bit and took the dice, rolling them. Of course, he landed on 'text'. He pulled out his phone and pondered his choices. "Let's see... Lafayette is embarrassing just being Lafayette, Hercules has no filter when drunk, and Alexander is Alexander.." He gave Alexander his phone.

Alexander rolled his eyes and went through his phone, already knowing exactly who to text. [madison, if u had a kid nd maed them angery, wud they be ur mad son? pls respond. v importnt.] Alexander handed back John's phone, like he hadn't just text James the most god awful pun. It wasn't long before he got a reply.

[...I came out of a movie with Dolley to answer this.] [Damn it, man.]

John chuckled and responded. [Lol, so sorry dude] [We're playing a game and I had to let Alexander text anyone he chose] [And he chose you] [So sorry :' )] "Where would I be without my jealous boyfriend tormenting my business partner?"

"I don't know what you mean."

Lafayette took the dice and took his turn, landing on another 'Take a shot' tile. He downed the shot with ease and passed the dice to Hercules, who took his turn and landed on 'Everyone takes a shot'. Everyone downed their shot, then John took his turn.

He landed on another 'Take a shot' tile and did just that, feeling the alcohol mess with his system. He sighed contently and leaned into Alexander.

Lafayette smiled at the dorky drunk and took his turn, landing on 'Person on your right takes a shot'. he poured a shot and passed it to Hercules along with a kiss on the cheek.

Hercules smiled and downed the shot, feeling the same buzz that John was. "Dia, tá tú chomh álainn, leanbh..." ("God, you are so beautiful, baby ...") he muttered in Irish.

"Slow those flirty tones, son," Hugh chuckled from the kitchen.

John snorted with laughter and took his turn, landing on a blank space.

Alexander, despite Herc's warning, took a turn and landed right on a 'text' tile. Like John, he ruled out Hercules immediately and ended up giving his phone to John, figuring it was only fair. "Go easy on me, won't you?"

"Maybe." He giggled and went through his phone. [Hey, Aaron. Thanks for helping me with club stuff, but don't get too friendly. I have an amazing boyfriend, after all 💗]

It didn't take long for him to respond. [Hmm... Judging by the mainly correct grammar, I'm assuming this is that amazing boyfriend.]

John giggled. [You caught me : P]

Aaron responded. [Okay. No need to get jealous.]

[Just a warning : )]

"And I'm the jealous boyfriend?" Alexander asked with a chuckle.

John ignored him and cuddled into Alexander's stomach. "My baby.." he hummed.  

[jons v. drunk] [lmao] [dw: ur not my tipe anywai ;)]

[Now it makes sense. John's a very sensible person when sober.] [And you'll be glad to know that you're not my type in the slightest.]

[rude]

John whined and grabbed Alex's wrist, taking his hand and putting it against his cheek. "I'm amazing, too.."

Alexander felt a pang of guilt. Ironically, he'd only been hanging out with Aaron so much because he wanted to make the art department as a surprise for John, but he couldn't very well tell him that. "I'm sorry.." He kissed his hand. "I love you so much, more than anyone."

John smiled and sat up a bit. "I love you too. I'm sorry for being stupid and jealous. Don't feel guilty."

"You're not an idi-" He was cut off by John squishing his cheeks together and giggling sweetly. He was always just melting his heart. When he let go of his face, Alexander smiled and put a hand behind John's head, pulling him down into a hug and holding him close. Nobody was going to hurt him anymore. "You know, I really prefer my guys with curly hair and freckles, anyways."

John smiled and looked up at him, his chin resting on his chest. "I have curly hair and freckles!"

"You do!" Alexander smiled, as if it was some sort of epiphany.

Hercules tutted and leaned against Lafayette. "I'm glad we're not soppy like that. We don't have to be for you to know I love you."

"Of course we don't," Lafayette claimed, though Hercules was just as soppy and silly.

Sarah giggled, looking over at them. They were all so sweet together, so in love, just like herself and Hugh.

Hercules looked over at her and her orange juice. "You're not drinking?" Sarah wasn't a heavy drinker by any means, but she hardly ever passed up a chance to drink with her family.

"No, not tonight."

"Why not? Everything okay?"

"Well, we were going to wait a while longer to tell you, but you're going to be an older brother."

[love-elizabeth-the-3rd-blog]

What about a reaction of the RFA to an MC with SCD and ADD who is still very caring, thoughtful and understanding (ofc intelligent as well) but has a hard time inside dealing with the newly assigned diagnosis (I had a 2days-week long melt/breakdown bcz of it-crying&flustered at how some of the symptoms felt rly relatable to me&my past self, & that I may have ASD & some say it doesn't even exist& it's just- a lot of inner turmoil tht goes on inside that MC tries2keepitin-not2burden&bjudgedbyothrs

Thank you for the request! I hope you like it ^^ 

I hope you are doing alright now and send you lots of hugs :) 

Yoosung:

He was sympathetic

Of course he loved you for you

You are such a kind, caring person, someone the whole rfa came to grow deeply fond of in such a short period of time

how you were so thoughtful and understanding, he loved that about you

especially since you were so thoughtful and understanding with him, even when he kept on comparing you to rika before, he is so glad you were so patient with him

because you meant a lot to him

So when you told him about your new diagnoses, he was there for you, just as understanding as you had for him

he knew of ADD but honestly that didn’t bother him at all, nothing would

He listened to you and comforted you as you were going through processing the new diagnoses

he reads up on all of it to help make things easier for you so you won’t have to feel overwhelmed by this

He looks you in the eye and tells you that you will never, NEVER, be a burden

You had kept this in the whole time? You are such a wonderful caring person that changed his life and helped the rfa finally move forward once again

Hell, you helped him out at his worst too, so really

he helps you out whenever you need

zen:

you were so warm and bright, you always gave encourgaments and comforted him when he was going through his thing with echo girl

he never knew his princess was going through such inner turmoil and such a hard time

but when you tried to cover it up with a smile, he immediately knew something was up

I guess he could sense it or he is just an emotional person himself so he noticed those little quiet moments you had or that solemn look you’d get sometimes

he one day sat down with you and squeezed your hand, speaking in a comforting voice “Princess, you don’t have to hide what you’re feeling from me, it’s okay to feel weak around me, I’m here for you.”

Soon Mc began to shake a bit, as tears began to fall from her eyes and slowly all the emotions she had holding in came out

He held you to him and stroked your hair comfortingly as you sobbed into his chest

you two stayed like that for a while

he wrapped you up in a blanket and brought you tea and some tissues, happy to look after you while you go through this, he will do everything for you

you both sit on the couch while you lean against him as you two watched tv, every time you tensed up a bit or sobbed a bit more he would rub your arm comfortingly as you did

He was always ready to listen and was very sympathetic to what you would say

He told you not to worry and that’d you two will get through this together

reads up on all about it so he could understand what you go through and so he could know ways to help you too

he would do little things that would help cheer you up as well

but he always told you that he and everyone loved the person you are and how bright of a person you were to them, and that this is not something to feel bad about

Spends time with you even letting you read the script with him and always giving you sweet forehead kisses in case this helps.

Is supportive af, he’s got u girl

Jaehae:

She brought you herbal tea the one day, and spent some time with you

She always enjoyed your wonderful personality but one day she noticed that you seemed troubled, despite your efforts to try and hide it

“Mc, are you alright?” She asked, concern etched in her face, “If anything is troubling you, you can tell me, I’ll always be here to listen.”

Her words seemed to be enough for you to slowly lose your facade and for tears to begin to fall, you sighed as you looked troubled trying to find the words

she looked at you concerned but stayed patiently, you didn’t need to say anything or talk, just sitting here in silence was perfectly okay, you could let it out

she took your hand and squeezed it gently and assurance and you could even hold hers and squeeze it instead of talking as just a way of comfort

She told you little reassurances, and that it’s always okay to feel this way because she and all of rfa are here for you

she even pointed out her troubled moments and how you will not be judged because all of them wind up hitting a very vulendrable place too

She wipes away your tears and rubs your back, smiling to you

Gets you herbal tea since it helps you because it does not contain any caffeine but has calming properties, always checks which foods can aggravate your condition and what foods and drinks could calm it

Ensures you’re getting adequate levels of the right foods that improves your symptoms as well

She reads up all about and boom goes into full support girlfriend mom mode and has your back with anything

Jumin:

This dude knows all about trying to hide emotions, even though it’s not exactly the same case

Hell, he is still understanding them but has improved thanks to you

So when he noticed that one day you seemed a little quieter than usual, he noticed the small differences like a solemn look in your eyes

You are such a caring person, he doesn’t want you to go through anything on your own or feel like to hide anything that is bothering you

“Mc, are you alright?” he asked with concern, his eyes looking into yours, you couldn’t really hide anything from him

You began to speak but stuttered a little, your lip quivering, that was enough for him and he took you into an embrace, his hand at the back of your head holding you against his chest

You don’t have to force yourself to speak, you let out little sobs and your posture gave in to what you were really feeling, sinking into him.

“It’s okay, Mc.” he whispered comfortingly, you can lean on him, you can be completely vulnerable because he will take care of you

He would rather you let it all out and than have to hold it in

“You never have to feel like you need to keep anything from me or rfa, we all love you for you and you don’t have to pretend you’re happy for our sake, we all care for what is best for your well being.”

“You don’t have to be strong for us, we will be strong for you.”  

Makes sure you have a healthy lifestyle and everything that will help ease the symptoms or make your life easier, but is always there and ready for when you feel like breaking down

You don’t have to feel bad at all for letting it all out

Seven:

This boy knows all about covering up what you really feel behind a fun easy going facade

he was practically a master of it

So when he noticed something was quite different with you but you still smiled to him as if not to worry him about it, that boy went straight to you and pulled you against him into a tight hug.

He held you there for a while, just breathing calmly, you seemed to know that he could see you were trouble and sunk into him, he made you feel secure like this when you were feeling anything but

“Mc, if something’s bothering you, I promise you can tell me.”

You two stayed like that for a bit as he gave you a look of unconditional love and trust, you could be open to him about anything, since you were so understanding when he confided in you

“I-I guess I can’t fool you hey..” you joke sadly, as you sob a little, he stroked your hair soothingly in response, whatever it is, it’s okay now because he is here for you

he will support you in every way so you don’t have to feel like you’re going through this alone, and despite how bad it feels or may look, you have him and everyone who loves you for who you are, no matter how you feel.

He knows all about it and helps make your life easier accordingly, he sits and holds you during your melt downs and sometimes jokes a little to cheer you up

To be honest though, him and Saeran are there for you, Saeran brings you food or tissues if you need it and he’s always there to listen

the choi twins got your back  

V:

He can’t see but he can already feel that you seem down

He asks you if you’re alright, but knows that you aren’t

this dude is so empathetic that he can just tell

Sits with you and patiently lets you let it all out while giving you compliments and reassurances

seriously you never have to worry about opening up about anything you have with this guy, nothing phases him, he looks at you the same as he he always does

with love and admiration

he tells you have beautiful your personality is, how amazing you are, how you mean the world to him and how you mean so much to rfa and how they all loved you so quickly

You are so beautiful to him, you are such an amazing person that he has the privilege to even know and love let alone love him back

He tells you no matter how bad you feel, how bad the it gets or your break downs get, you never have to worry or feel bad about it or how others think because the truth is

Is that you are such an amazing person and that will always stand out more than the symptoms, his love for you will always stand out for you and you are always a blessing to everyone in the rfa

You are an angel to him, no matter what

He will look after you and be your strength and emotional support

Seriously he loves you with a passion

Always takes photos and tells you how beautiful you are and how spending time with you always makes him feel blessed

Hugs and cuddles you tightly during the really bad times, kisses you on the cheek and head lovingly literally every time he gets the chance, even in the morning and night

Always leaves you a sweet note even though his handwriting is pretty bad so you can’t really tell what it says but the thought is there

Always texts you to see if you’re alright

Brings you little gifts of things you like whenever he gets home

Helps you get the best treatment and lifestyle to help manage the symptoms because he wants you to be happy

He would honestly give you the world