#i could think of more. truly i just like getting any bot pregnant because i like it when a robot is pregnant

[mychlapci]

Who are your top 10 transformers you’d like to get pregnant

I will be honest with you. I think I'm too horny to remember 10 transformers at once. but I'll try.

No.1 is Optimus, easy. my first tf show was tfp and after watching about ten episodes i went to school (and this was still the last year of high school…) and i went to my friend and i said, I need a fanfiction where Optimus Prime is pregnant. And then she sent me some. My first fantasies were those of him getting knocked up by Megatron and having to hide it from the rest of the team in shame…

No.2, Megatron. This is obviously the right choice. I have a whole weird thing about, like, a big strong warrior getting pregnant and not only keeping his respect amongst his troops but increasing it also. It's so hot to me. 

3, 4, 5 is a three person combo! yes, baby, dratchrod is where it’s at. I like them in a genuine, honest, non-horny way, and I like them even more in a very gross, very lewd, horny way. I need Drift PREGNANT. I need Ratchet PREGNANT. I need Rodimus PREGNANT. i could say more, but my blog is an homage to dratchrod pregnancy dude. Of course any version of them from any continuity (though Drift doesn’t really have many versions...) are not safe from my pregnancy beam.

6. this is a little guilty pleasure of mine but. Elita-1. I need her pregnant… in a woman-respecting way, of course. In the same vein as Megatron, I need her to be respected as a warrior for her big swollen belly. 

no. 7 is Starscream. He was also one of the first bots I'd wanted to impregnate back when I got here, and though my desire to get him pregnant had diminished a little, it never truly left.

no. 8 RUNG. Primus is the life-giver. Old and fertile as fuck. Need i say more?

no. 9 is, and I am disappointed a little for putting him so low, but it’s Bulkhead. I was sitting on the streets of Seattle with a sign that read “I need a fat bitch” and Bulkhead was who I’ve been given. I loved tfp Bulkhead. He was surprisingly parental and it made me kind of horny.

no. 10. Airachnid. Black Arachnia. or whatever you wanna call her, , whichever version. Maybe it’s because I'm in an insecticon mood, maybe it’s nostalgia for my childhood crush on beast machines Black Arachnia, but I need me an insecticon mommy. 

[ageofevermore]

an update on how my oc's are getting along during this pandemic :)

Harry and Goldie: this man is absolutely loving the time he gets to spend with you and your little love! sure, now he's going out and about between the states and your flat back in london, but he absolutely adored the few uninterrupted months he got to spend with the both of you. goldie is just over two and a half years old when quarantine begins, so you and harry decide it's a good time to start potty training. she hates it at first, mostly because the sound of the toilet flushing is intimidating, but soon she learns that harry will sing over the loud sound. you almost rolled your eyes allowed the first time you watched your husband sing beside the toilet, clapping his hands and blowing into a blue harmonica between words.

the three of you also become a family of four, well five if were counting the goldfish named finn. you get pregnant just after march, and your finding out in a few days the gender...it's a little girl. even before you know though, harry has deemed your little one bowie. the baby inside of you loves grilled cheese and tomatoes, which you were never fond of, and is guaranteed to start moving around when music is played. the first time harry realized this, his head was in your lap and david bowie was playing on vinyl.

"did ya feel that, lovie?" he looked up with wide eyes and a glowing grin, "bunny likes himself some bowie."

"who said it's a boy harry?" you bit back, a smile on your lips.

"we already got a girl, it's only fair, love." he mumbled back before pressing his lips to the skin of your bare belly, not just popping but definitely not as tight as it was, "hi, bowie. ya gonna be my music partner? i think yeh big sister might have a fit."

but quarantine also came with struggles. goldie didn't understand why she couldn't bounce back and forth between your flat and anne's house, and she definitely didn't understand why you were no longer going to the pack every afternoon with a packed lunch and a plan to stop at the ice cream shop and collect a blue popsicle. she had thrown a fit at harry's feet for six days before moving along to the next obsession -- which happened to be styling harry's growing hair into a messy ponytail, or unicorn horn as she deemed through giggles.

Ellie McCall: ellie and liam are doing great! they've taken this time to just sit back and actually enjoy each others company. ellie's fresh out of college and beside stiles at the FBI, working as a medically trained field agent. her brothers best friend was less then happy when he realized that the younger girl was moving up in the program quicker then he could. ellie and liam are ready to start a family, though they don't look to be having any luck. when they do get pregnant though, ellie immediately worries that she's going to have to push a werewolf sized baby out of her. it takes seven calls to deaton and three voice mails to derek to assure her that the baby will be normal sized, and lacking in supernatural abilities until he's at least a toddler. oh yeah, it's a baby boy that is immediately named called brett dunbar.

though ellie and liam are enjoying the time home, it does bring ellie into a darker headspace. she dwells over allison and what her best friend might have been doing, and she can't help but think about boyd and erica. even matt crosses her mind a few times before she wiggles into bed besides liam and falls asleep with his heartbeat in her ear. liam isn't oblivious to her suffering, but it's apparent he doesn't know how to help. he sits were her sometimes when she's just staring out of the living room window, and makes her a cup of tea, because recently she's grown to hate the taste of coffee. he just lets her know that he's with her, and even though they're along in DC, she isn't actually alone.

Dylan O'Brien, Chloe O'Brien, and Maisie O'Brien: the trio is so good! dylan is so glad to finally be home with his girls for longer then a couple of broken up weeks. he can't remember the last time he was truly free to just be a dad and a husband. yes, chloe and dylan got married. it was a few weeks before the new year that they celebrated two months married. dylan's glad they waited so long, because the image of his daughter walking down the isle never fails to bring tears to his eyes. mae's just over four and a half, so she was in pre-school when everything started shutting down. she cried for weeks about missing her friends, clinging to dylan's torso for hours until she could be persuaded into walking on her own.

mae was a busybody, which meant keeping her home all day every day was hard. dylan was a personal jungle gym at this point, having bruises and cuts littering his arms and legs from how frequently he was used as a latter or slide. he wouldn't have it any other way though, loving that himself alone could entertain maisie for hours. what was hard about being home was finding alone time. the little one chloe and dylan shared loved to sneak into bed with them at two am, meaning that any passionate love making was rushed and done half dressed. it really wasn't passionate, but it quenched the thirst that would build after days of thick sexual tension.

every morning dylan would wake up after chloe and mae, coming down to plates of fresh fruit and pancakes. chloe didn't mind the big breakfast, giving her something to do other then stare at the wall or sing along to frozen for the umpteenth time that week. she had tried to get mae into something else after watching it seven times in a day, but the littler girl had crawled into her fathers laps with pleading eyes and a frown, sweetly asking if he could turn on anna and elsa when you were in the bathroom. it was no surprise that he cracked under the pressure, wanting nothing more then to be mae's best friend even when he knew a movie couldn't hurt her.

chloe's favorite thing about it all though had to be waking up in the middle of the night to cold sheets. she would leave the bedroom confused, having remembered falling alseep in dylan's arms, but in no time she would find her husband and daughter either in the kitchen eating ice cream, or cuddled up together in a toddler sized bed happily asleep. she would selfishly take a few more months of this isolation if it meant making more magical memories.

Emma James and Dylan Sprayberry: emma and dylan are great! they've started wedding planning, and have been using this time to finally finish moving into their house! emma was sad to let go of her first home with everly, but she comes to love their newly purchased home in SoCal even more. emma and ellery have been besties this entire time! it's not often that the two of them are apart, finding it a comfort to have some sort of daily routine that helps them stay mentally okay. emma is more then glad to have dylan by her side at home, but she needs more then her fiancé to keep a level head.

emma doesn't have any upcoming projects, instead taking the time to work on herself and her mom life. everly james is everything to her! the little beauty who looks just like her mother is just under two years old when this pandemic really cracks down on california, and it takes a toll on emma when they're forced to spend her second birthday with just dylan's sister and mother.

emma tries her hardest to keep in contact with holland and crystal, often having facetime calls scheduled. she misses seeing her friends faces every day, but knows that their reunion will be so much sweater once everything is safe and reopened.

Scotland Reilly and Dylan O'Brien: i haven't introduced scotland to this blog yet, but she's my little bean, and the irl oc for leila martin! anyways, scotland and dylan have been so good and really enjoyed being home together for longer then a few weeks or broken apart months! they're coming up on their seventh dating anniversary, and beginning to talk about what the next step might look like. they're been living together since season two of teen wolf, which was a year before they started dating, but neither one is completely sold on whether they want to go through with marriage. they have no doubt that the rest of their lives will be spent happily together and as one, but the idea of getting married never really stuck out to them!

scotland has an eating disorder that goes hand in hand with OCD that manifested after a childhood of travel between modeling jobs and bicoastal co-parenting. she's been strictly a vegan for almost nine years as a way to ensure that she's always healthy and so she doesn't feel to guilt about the foods she's eating, but recently she's started to introduce chicken (which dylan is absolutely thrilled about) fish, and a few dairy products. being home has given her the chance to actually feel comfortable with how far she's willing to push past her comfort zones and find new things out about herself. she's also overly plagued by baby fever!

she had her head on dylan's chest one afternoon, scrolling through moodboard on her pintrest account when the cutest pastel themed nursery caught her attention. they're in no way ready for a baby, but scotland can just imagine a tiny baby the two of them sharing her eyes and strawberry hair but every other quality being strictly dylan's. they both think a baby is the perfect next step, but in a few years time when hopefully the pandemic has calmed down and it's not so high risk.

the conversation goes like that:

"baby." scotland coos, looking up at dylan whose entire focus is on the old baseball game. he hummed in her general direction, his fingers brushing through her hair absentmindedly. "can we have a baby?"

he has to pause the game after that question, his whiskey eyes wide and caught off guard. scotland giggles at his reaction, pressing a kiss to the dip between his collarbone, "not right now, silly! but one day, can we?"

they'd never really talked about kids. dylan knew she wanted a few, having grown up with a large family, but they were both at the high of their career and never had time to imagine little hands and feet.

"one day." he promises gently, "i'd like that."

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Blood Red Heat and Black Shadows prt 30

Paused before the wall, nervousness ran through the team. Pike was held protectively against Keith in a silent agreement as Lance’s alpha Keith had the right to be the one to feel Lance’s warmth one last time should something go wrong. Meeting eyes, they all pushed aside that deep gut rolling feeling, reaching out as a team to place their hands against the wall. This time when the memories flowed, they all felt and experienced the same memories. Memories of the times Lance had hurt their feelings. Their feelings flowing into each other in the closest thing Keith had felt to a mind meld since the last time Coran had bossed them into team bonding and the castle had been lost. Gradually and surely, the feelings changed, those dark memories shifting to softer times as a pack. Lance’s pride in his pack. His frustrations over when their dynamics flared and he wanted to smack their heads together. His embarrassment over the things they did that made his beta side acted too omega like, swooning with pride for his pack as he stomped it down... and god... so many feelings. He’d truly liked Allura. Seeing Lotor steal her heart hurt, but his feelings for Keith had been just as intense. Memories of reaching out to Keith only to find no reply. Memories of Lance fighting with Red. The idiot promising Red he’d find him a new Paladin on Earth if he just stuck with Lance a little longer.

It was a lot. It was more than a lot. Everything flittering through like drops of rain, something they couldn’t quite grab onto before it was gone. Maybe it was bad of him not to focus on everything. Lance’s hurt and Lance’s love... it meant more than his moments... even if now his pack understood what happened with Kuron. Lance really did love him. He loved all of them. There

The terrain beneath them trembled. The dirt turning to smooth grass, as they fell into each other. Holding tight as a team, they all knew they had a whole damn lot they needed to talk about, but it was like a breath of fresh air had hit the team. Keith felt lighter for it. Pike, hadn’t returned to Lance, but his eyes were open now, all of them kind of crushing the fellinwere in a pack cuddle.

“Jesus Fucking Christ. Can we stop with the team memories already. We get it. We sucked! We hear you game! We sucked and we know it!”

Keith snorted at Pidge’s rant, which was promptly followed by Shiro smacking her upside the back of her head

“What was that for?”

Shiro cleared his throat, only his brother could make one word sound both apologetic and indifferent at the same time

“Habit”

“Well stop it. I’m getting a permanent dent in the back of my head from all the times you’ve hit me”

“Maybe you should have learned your lesson by now”

“You’re not my pack leader. Our pack leader swears as much as I do”

“Yes, well. He’s... a handful too. Pike, are you okay?”

Pike was crying. Keith pulling him back as the hug mutually dissolved

“Pike?”

Pike rubbed at his arm, Keith drawing him close and kissing his temple

“Sorry. Feeling a lot right now. We did suck as a team... I didn’t do a very good job playing my part”

“Pike. This game is shit. Don’t let it get you down now that you’re back on your feet”

Shiro didn’t smack Pidge this time, though Pidge did duck in anticipation. Pike gave a small nervous laugh

“It really is awful. I’m feeling better now. I felt like I was fading away before”

Keith didn’t like the sound of that. The expression on their pack mates faces said they didn’t either

“Babe, what do you mean?”

“I don’t know... like I disappearing. Like I was on the outside of my body and I might not ever be back inside. I felt Meklavar holding me, but I just didn’t have the strength to open my eyes”

Keith and Shiro traded a glance. The walls of the maze hadn’t dropped, but they didn’t have time for that now. Pike didn’t have time for that now

“Block, I want you and Vala to watch Pike. Pike, you feel yourself slipping, you tell us. Gyro, you and Meklavar watch behind in case the podium triggers something. We have no choice but to double time it”

“What... wait...”

Keith kissed Pike’s hair, cutting off his boyfriend’s objections

“We’re getting out of here with you. You feel faint or tired, you tell us”

Keith’s task wasn’t the best for the distracted Paladin. Five large bots like the ones they used to have in the castle training room formed from thin air, landing to surround him as a blade formed on the podium

“Dark!”

Pike called his name out, the bots circled everyone, not just him. Was this Lance’s fear? A memory bleeding into his task? Did his boyfriend fear a situation where Keith would have to protect them all with his blade without them able to help? Something had changed from sharing their memories, they’d all felt the earth shift

“Guys, watch each other!”

Running towards the first bot, the other bots moved faster than any of the levels had trained to. Like the castle bots, they worked together, not giving him any opportunities to gain ground. With the others behind him, namely Pike, he couldn’t focus enough on the fight here. Throwing himself down, Keith skidded beneath the bot to his left, rolling and taking off, trying to put distance between his pack and the fight. If he fucked up, he didn’t want Pike seeing him hurt.

Making it to the maze corner before the bots, he had the advantage now. They were forced to face him without having him surrounded. Patience might yield focus, yet he was all out of patience. With how courageous Pike had been, he half expected his boyfriend to come running and leap up on the back of one of them as he screamed about not touching his boyfriend. Lance might have a million and one fears, but he was pretty bad arse when he set his mind to it. He’d always kind of been that way. What kind of idiot uses their body to protect a man from an explosion when they’d barely even met? His idiot. Being a Paladin again meant he no longer felt the extra welling of strength that came with being a Barbarian. No, he felt stronger thinking of Lance and the life waiting for them outside of the game. His omega. His mate. He didn’t know how to court, but he was sure Lance would tell him along the way. Their pack was stronger than ever. Their omega would be there to keep them all in line... He had to kill the bots to take his life back.

It was a frenzied fight. Keith threw all he could at the bots, even when they literally picked him up and threw him down. He’d smacked his head hard enough for blood to be oozing from somewhere on his forehead, been kicked in the ribs hard enough to feel like something was broken in there, but every time he went down, he pushed himself back up. The pack had made it this far and he wasn’t about to let them down. Mirroring Lance’s gargoyle move, he’d leapt on the back on a bot, its companion downing it as it tried to swing at him. Using the strength he could, the bot toppled into the second, Keith driving his sword down into his mechanical head, almost wishing Pike could see how much of a suitable mate he was... but then again, Pike had always believed in him. Lance had always believed in him. Even when he couldn’t believe in himself.

As the third and forth bots went down, the team finally appeared at the end of the maze corridor. Being the idiot he was, he found himself smiling at Pike being on his feet. He really was terribly cute, hands on his swollen stomach as he scowled at Keith for running off. Keith knew he was in trouble for getting hurt, but he didn’t care. The last bot was his, and he wasn’t holding anything back. Dodging the blow aimed at him, Keith drove his blade through the bots chest, electricity crackling briefly before the bot vanished and he was left swaying on the spot, the blade in his hand disintegrated into thin air.

Letting himself flop down to catch his breath, he smiled that his task was done, despite feeling like warmed up quiznak from being hit. Kicked in the leg, he opened his eyes to find it’d been Pidge. Her hands on her hips as she glared at him

“I’m okay”

“You don’t look okay. What were you thinking?! We’re a team!”

“I was thinking of your safety”

Pidge kicked him in the leg again

“I’m going to have to beat that nonsense out of you. I know it was your trail but you scared us the way you bolted”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know if they’d go for you, and I know you guys can handle yourselves, but I was the only one with a weapon”

“That doesn’t mean...”

Pidge stalled as Shiro placed his hand on her shoulder

“That’s enough. He made the same call I would have. Are you okay, kiddo?”

Pidge glared up at Shiro. Keith knew she would have made the same choice too. They all cared about each other not to

“I’ll be okay... they got me, but it’ll heal”

Finally catching up, Pike waddled over, tail flicking and ears down

“What the fuck was that?”

Keith flinched. It was different coming from Pike

“I know. I’m stupid”

“We agreed to be a team”

“I know... I look worse than I feel”

“That’s nice to know because you look like a moron. Seriously, if I were pregnant, I would have gone into labour over that. Don’t ever do that to me again”

Pike reached his hand out, Keith taking it. Letting himself be pulled up, his boyfriend kissed the wound on his head

“I’m mad at you”

“I know you are”

“You always do this”

“I know”

“I hate that I feel the same way... and I hate that I would have made the same choice. We’re all awful at this...”

Keith tried not to let his sore ribs show as he wrapped his arm around Pike, forcing a laugh

“We are. I’m okay, and my trial is over now”

“I’m still going to kick your arse later”

“Just not my leg. Pidge kicked me twice”

Pike huffed at him

“I should have done the same. Stupid belly”

“It’s not a stupid belly”

Pike huffed again, crossing his arms and looking cranky

“Right. Next time you can be the one waddling around and I’ll be the cool one”

“Awww, babe. You think I’m cool”

Pike threw his hands in the air

“Why am I dating you? You’re impossible”

“Actually, I’m Keith”

Their whole group groaned. Shiro managing to look disappointed in him for his lameness. Pidge had had enough, gesturing as she spoke

“This right here is why they’re dating. Two halves of the same damn idiot”

“Guys, maybe we should keep moving? I don’t want the bots to come back in another wave”

Hunk worried his pointed fingers together, Allura nodding at his words

“Though I do not believe they will, we should aim to reach the next trail as soon as possible”

Shiro backed her up

“Vala is right. Dark, you’ll fall into the middle with Pike seeing your injured. Block, you take lead”

Hunk nodded, the big guy being brave despite the shit storm that was this labyrinth. Shooting them a “Dad” smile, Shiro seemed relieved they hadn’t squabbled over the formation change

“Okay. Let’s go!”

*

The terrain remained level between Keith’s task and Shiro’s. The outside of the podium white, and through logic, it could only be Shiro’s task. For Keith things weren’t going that great. Things were blurry, and Pike definitely knew he was injured. As they reached the podium, Keith stumbled, Pidge moving to his side to prop him back up

“You’re hurt, aren’t you?”

Torn between the need to get out the labyrinth and the newfound rekindled team trust, Keith chose his team, knowing he’d make them mad

“I messed up my ribs... rather, they did. And I’m a bit light headed...”

“You idiot, you should have said. Not cool, babe”

Pike sighing at him didn’t make him feel better. Pretty much what he’d expected from his boyfriend. Softly, Hunk asked

“Dude, are you going to be okay to continue?”

And stubbornly Keith replied

“I’ll be fine...”

Letting his sentence hang, Keith realised Pike was already staring at the podium, and not at him... Was it weird he expected more concern?

“Pike?”

“Block, you and Vala take look at his chest, he might need his ribs bound for now. Meklavar, you stand guard. I’ll help Gyro with his task”

Pidge straight away replied

“We don’t know what his task is”

“This is Gyro. He’s pretty amazing with his observations. I know I’m not as smart as you guys, but you’ve got more mobility than I do thanks to this stomach. Use Block’s headband for his ribs. Gyro, we need you to start your task”

Keith was going to blame the head wound for the spike of desire he felt in his stomach. Pike was hot when he was in command, and his boyfriend’s tone left no room for argument if they knew what was good for them. Lance was always good at knowing what needed to be done, he wasn’t great at communicating it though, but that was because he constantly second guessed himself. Pike knew this, being an aspect of Lance after all. As pack leader, Lance would share the position as his mate. Lance might think himself lacking, but Keith knew otherwise. Lance had kept them together for so long, while keeping his secret. Keith might be backwards on omegas, but he knew Lance’s nature would make him the kind of pack mother they needed. Him being more in touch with his omega side would only draw out the better aspects once the others accepted Lance was in a courting relationship with their pack leader. Drawing his brow, Keith wasn’t sure his thoughts were actually making sense as he tried to think on it harder. He hadn’t contradicted Pike on his self insult and now he couldn’t quite work out why when his boyfriend was so smart.

“Shut up. You’re not allowed to put yourself down”

Scolded by Pidge, Pike snorted, holding his hands up in surrender

“Okay. Okay. But it’s probably going to take a bit”

“I’ll have to add beating you up to my daily list of jobs. I’ve already got to beat the self sacrifice out of Dork”

Pike snorted again, the sound completely different as this was tinged with sadness

“You’d have better luck getting the pearl out of me than getting him under control”

“Don’t belittle my fist of love”

Pike out on a solemn tone

“I would never. Maybe don’t break it out it until once we’ve passed the Labyrinth? We can’t carry him if you’ve beaten him up too much”

“Fiiiiiiine. Dark, you’re lucky Pike’s here to protect you”

“I know I am. You’re fierce for a gremlin”

“Damn right I am. Now shut it and cooperate”

Keith tried to watch Shiro’s task over Pidge’s shoulder. There floating lights that flashed brightly in different colours. As he couldn’t see the podium, Keith didn’t know what the lights meant, only that they seemed to flash rhythmically. Deciding to wrap his ribs, Hunk’s bandanna didn’t reach around enough, flimsy and hardly worth being tied around him. Licking her thumb, Pidge rubbed at the tender spot on his head, their Pidgeon seemed to be taking her revenge with the hardness of her rubbing, Keith knew better than to mention it, lest she rub harder. Closing his eyes, they felt liked only just closed before Allura let out a cheer, clapping and obviously happy Shiro had passed his task

“Well done you two! Pike, that was quite impressive”

“That was all Shiro”

“You need to take the praise. Shiro would have missed that third yellow had you not pointed it out”

“He did all the hard work”

Pike sounded embarrassed, Keith forcing his eyes open in an attempt to see what kind of expression his boyfriend was making. Allura was in the way, so he couldn’t see, disappointingly

“You both worked hard. Congratulations!”

Shiro’s voice joined in to back up Allura, praising Pike

“Pike, she is right. You did well to memorise the order”

“It’s nothing... you get used to it when your... well. It’s nothing compared to the observations you make”

“Don’t sell yourself so short. That was a hard sequence. You’re the one who pointed out that the loop seemed to restart without a pause”

“On the third time through”

Lance sounded disappointed in how long it’d taken, Shiro brushing it off

“I was waiting for that break. And that yellow, I was sure it only flashed the twice”

“It pulsed really fast the second time. Anyway, how’s Dark. What’s the prognosis?”

Deflection. Pike had come a long way, he still has so much healing to do as Lance. Pidge let out a long sigh, kicking Keith in the boot lightly before answering

“He’ll live. Bruised ribs, and a concussion, I’d say. Those bots weren’t holding back”

“Babe! You need to speak up. I’ll help him, heaven knows what’ll be coming up next.

15 minutes to solve a colour puzzle, somewhere out there someone is laughing”

Keith couldn’t have been sitting that long. It hadn’t felt like 15 minutes of his life had been spent sitting on the ground being poked at. There was that strange feeling of it being longer and shorter at the same time

“What exactly was the task?”

Hunk frowned at him as he tilted his head

“Dark, bud, weren’t you listening?”

He was. He simply wanted to be sure in case these tasks had some kind of later relevance

“Repeating lights?”

“Don’t scare us like that. I thought your concussion was worse than I realised”

He had to stop worrying Pidge

“Sorry, Meklavar. I couldn’t see... over you. That and your amazing medical aid”

Pidge scowled, Keith not forgiven despite the sucking up

“It was a repeating sequence of flashing colours that Gyro had to press the corresponding colours on the podium. 5 different colours and 13 lights”

Hunk corrected her

“17 lights”

“It was definitely 13”

Pike pushed his way between the pair, stopping to stand with his hands on his hips, pushing his stomach out to stretch his back. So cute... Pike was so cute

“Don’t listen to them. They’re both wrong. There were 18 lights in a loop, flashing at different speeds and in different spaces. How are you feeling?”

About the same as he had, maybe a tad worse because he’d had to take his armour off then get the damn pieces back on

“Meklavar and Block did what they could. What about you?”

“My back really freakin’ hurts... I have a whole new appreciation for my mum”

Keith could only sympathised, before his brother surprised him by saying

“Just wait until you and Dark have children.... if they’re as active as the pair of you, you’ll be in for a handful”

Pike’s ears flatted, arms crossing to “hide” his belly, as he bit his bottom lip

“Don’t scare him. Babe, you’re okay”

“Yeah. We better go though”

Holding his hands out, Hunk and Allura helped Keith up. Keith then holding his hand out, Pike shuffling over to him as he stared at his feet. The others didn’t get what was going on in Pike’s head, but Keith did. Kissing Pike’s hair, the fellinwere sighed softly, Keith reassuring him

“Only a little bit further. Then we’ll be out this stupid place”

“Yeah... Are you sure you’re okay to move?”

“I’ll be okay, all the better now you’re beside me”

Pike blushed softly, though he didn’t lose his distant look

“Babe, we’ve come this far. We’ll work it all out together”

“I know... I’m really nervous about what’s waiting for us”

“The trials should be over now...”

“You know that’s not what I mean”

“Yeah... It’s no use worrying for now. Let’s get moving. I want to get out of this place as soon as possible”

“Me too. I don’t like it here”

Pike meant he didn’t like his head being open for anyone to access his memories... not that they were going to. Lifting his boyfriend’s right hand of his belly, Keith kissed the back off it

“I promise we’ll get through it together”

[speckledcoffeecups]

Scared but Loved

Rating: Teen

Warnings: mentions risks of pregnancy and childbirth

Words: 794

I’m so obsessed with the idea of Peter becoming pregnant, and being so damn overwhelmed with the idea because he’s so young and has no clue what to do. And then this happened. Enjoy!

*** 

He's sobbing over the dumbest thing. He dropped a tool, it's not the end of the world. Yet here's Peter absolutely sobbing and sniveling like he just got dumped, punched in the face and rejected from college all in one day. 

"Peter, hey what's wrong?" Tony asks and Peter shakes his head pressing his palms to his face trying to gain control of his emotions again. 

He's Spiderman. He doesn't do this.

"I, it's nothing, i'm fine," he hiccups and Tony shakes his head but Peter insists. "Long day, I," hiccups and feels his breath coming faster. He shakes and the material of his sweater is suddenly too much, and the lights, and the Tony's cologne, and- 

 "Friday, activate cool down protocol," Tony says softly and runs his hands lightly through Peter's hair barely touching him. 

The lights dim and Peter sucks down a breath as the room turns silent, truly silent, all machines dimming, even DUM-E and his constant whirring and clicking fading as the bot recognizes the change in the room. As Peter regains his breathing, Tony presses soft kisses to his brow and hair. 

"Breathe bambino. I'm not scared, it’s okay, just breathe," He says softly like a mantra. It takes a few minutes of calm talking and soft strokes for Tony to effectively calm Peter. The hiccups turn to soft shudders as Tony runs his hand through his boy's hair. 

 "Talk to me. What's going on in that massive brain of yours?" he asks and Peter shudders almost crying again. "No, none of that. Just breathe and talk.”

“I..." Peter swallows and closes his eyes listening to Tony's heart beat under his brow and the soft almost indistinguishable whir of the arc reactor. "Something's, it's not right." He says softly. 

"I... Tony," He grips the older man's shirt and Tony shushes him. 

 "It's okay bambino," he soothes, yet his own anxiety grows. "Just breathe, take your time." Peter does. 

He takes five minutes to force his tongue to work and form words. 

 "Tony I think I'm pregnant."

Tony shushes him brushing kisses over his hairline as Peter chokes on a sob again, unable to stop himself. He's so damn scared. There's such a small chance of men getting pregnant, the fact he is... it's so damn scary. 

Clinics don't typically accept insurance, and the horror stories he's read over the past week. Miscarriages, hemorrhaging, premies so small they almost could fit in your hands, babies that don't come because the man isn't taking the right vitamins so they loose baby and father. He's so terrified. 

 "Tony-"

"Shhh," he says and wraps his arms around Peter, holding him firmly against him. "Did you take a test?" He asks and Peter shakes his head.

 "I... the bodega didn't have any for guys, and I didn't know how to explain it to May... Tony I'm scared."

"I know Peter." 

 "What if-" 

 "Nope. just breathe. you're going to go get yourself a cup of tea, and I'm calling Dr. Cho, she's at the tower, she can come by and we will have an answer, and you will be okay," he says and thumbs the highs of Peter's cheeks. "Is that okay?" he asks and Peter shivers.

He wants answers but not right now. He doesn't want everyone talking to him about it and touching him and asking Tony all these questions and poking at their relationship. He knows there's going to be so much study done on him due to his mutation, plus being a male mother, he's not ready. He doesn't need any one touching him and observing how fast the "vagina" forms, or what happens to the male genitalia. 

He doesn't want it, and the thought of it makes him hyperventilate for a moment before Tony shushes him. 

 "Focus on me. Just me. Here, feel this," He says and touches his chest, and pulls Peter's hand to his chest, pressing firmly to the arc reactor. "Breathe with me. You're going to be okay."

"But what if-"

"None of that." he kisses Peter's knuckles. "Breathe with me. In, and out. Just like that." 

Tony’s hiding his own anxieties rather well, but he knows how it feels to be young and possibly a father unprepared. He had his fair share of scares, and he made it past with a bottle and cigarette to his lips.He wants different and better for Peter.

"You're okay. And we can figure out the details later. For now, just rest," He says softly.

10 months later, there's a beautiful set of twins asleep on Peter's chest as he sleeps in the hospital bed. Tony couldn't be happier, and the little turn up of Peter's mouth is more than enough to say his boyfriend feels the same way too. 

[megacircuit9universe]

Ejector Seat

I’ve been thinking about the previous entry for a few days now... the idea of a self driving economy kept on the rails by the collective smarts of all the learning algorithms out there, whose prime directive is to keep the money moving...

And then it occurred to me yesterday that, even if this were true, things could still be screwed up by something like an arbitrary and pointless trade war with the nations who produce most if not all of the stuff that keeps this modern economy moving... namely, the smart phones themselves, as well as all the products we can use those phones to buy at low low prices.

Trumps insane tariff policies, will eventually result in a fairly painful (if totally artificial) inflation on the cost of all those things, which will eventually result in far less consumer spending... which in turn will result in a recession.

And because he is not sane, Trump will respond to the recession by doubling down on the tariffs... turning that recession into a global depression.

Now, before I go any further, I have to address an elephant in the room here... And it’s that the current economy, which has been doing so well for so long, has been pretty bad for many parties involved... such as the low wage global workforce who produces most of the stuff we buy for those low low prices, and also wage stagnation here in America... not to mention the huge education bubble... the growing problem of rent inflation... and of course, climate change!

But outside of America, we were, and still are, working on those problems. There is an argument that low wage factory work in developing nations, while not ideal, in terms of wages or working conditions... still lifts those people out of poverty and... can be seen as a stepping stone to their future prosperity much as factory work during the industrial revolution paved the way for the following generations to enjoy better working conditions, wages, and general quality of life.

That’s far from a guarantee, but it’s possible with the right focus.

Other issues, such as wage stagnation, and the education, rent, and healthcare bubbles... are purely American problems. Most if not all other first world nations either never had those problems, or have solved them by now.

Which leaves climate change... where again, most of the world is on board for addressing the problem, both short and long term.

So... excluding failed states that aren’t really in the game right now... the global economy, while far from perfect, is a work in progress that could become far more fair and equitable over time... 

...with the exception of America (and I guess, England too) where legacy political issues such as racism and unbridled corporate greed are currently fighting tooth and nail to stay relevant in this new century that is leaving them behind.

But, putting them to one side for a moment, we can see that our self driving economy... such that it is... could be bad, if it refuses to allow any further change... keeping rent and education forever too high, and foreign factory wages forever too low, while we blindly destroy all the planet’s resources and turn the atmosphere into an oven.

However... because this is ultimately an economy driven by social media... there is a built-in flexibility to accommodate the ever shifting desires of a collective human population, around the globe, who very much want life to become more fair and equatable... from the top of the ionosphere, to the street level, down to the bottom of the underground mine.

So if you accept that premise, as I do, then the collective AI acting as an auto-pilot for this economy... is a good thing... that will not become a bad thing down the road.

TLDR: Even if our modern economy is problematic, the self driving aspect does not damn it to remaining problematic forever, because the self driving aspect is designed to learn and change according to the collective will of all global consumers, rich and poor alike.

In fact, the poor, I would argue, have more leverage than the rich, because... well, they vastly outnumber the rich, for one thing... and they spend those pennies as fast as they get them... while the rich mostly sit on their piles of cash.

Those collective pennies from the 99% amount to far more money, pulsing through the veins of the economy on a daily basis... with the number of individual transactions being... what... in the quadrillions or something a day? 

When your self driving feature is a learning algorithm... it can only learn from a transaction.  

They literally look at your transaction history, to try and suggest more things you’re likely to be interested in, and if that leads to another transaction... bingo!  It has learned!

Far more of that is going on with low income consumers every day... than with the rich... who often try to launder their money and mask the few fat transactions they do make... leaving them out of that cyber learning loop.

Their fat cat financial decisions, more and more as time goes on, will be determined by the nuanced concerns of the 99%, who determine which investments are sound, and which are folly.

Alright!  So, lets get back to Donald Trump, noted racist and friend to the greedy... who is also batshit crazy.

He’s in power because of the first two things, but his tariff policy is all that third thing.  It’s not really racist or greedy.  The racists and the greedy never asked for any tariffs.  It’s truly just... batshit lunacy coming out of the cartoonish depths of his plaque ridden synaptic structures.

He heard somewhere that tariffs are a thing bossy presidents used to do, a hundred years ago, and then he heard some other lunatic on AM radio say they were some kind of a solution for white supremacy and... he just seized on that and now he will just never let it go.

As I said in the opening, this is the one kind of thing that could short circuit the self driving economy and cause it to crash like all other economies before it.

However, in the previous entry, I noted that thus far, the economic auto pilot has been doing a freakishly good job of just ignoring his inputs to the pedals and the steering wheel.

I say, “freakishly,” because the result has been huge stock market spikes one day, followed by huge dips the next... for a year now... with the net result that nothing much has changed, because the spikes and dips cancel each other out.

It’s terrifying to watch from one day and week to the next... but on the other hand... it’s been a whole year of this and... we’re still fine!

To be clear here, these are spikes and dips on a stock market chart... they are not spikes and dips in your or my bank balance... or in the prices for the things we buy... because they are happening waaaay to fast.

An apt analogy would be... I come into your living room and flip the lights on and off, fifty thousand times per second, for a whole hour.  Will you notice?

Well, considering that your alternating current cycles them on and off already at the rate of sixty thousand times per second (if you live in the US) no!   You will not fucking notice any change in the brightness of your lights in the living room.

Okay, yes!.. your light switch would break if I did that... possibly leaving you in the dark.  But your light switch is a mechanical component.

The switches and buttons Trump is exercising like mad every waking minute with his daily tweet storms and policy contortions... are all digital... powered by redundant servers all around the planet, sitting in air conditioned rooms, with surge protectors and back up generators.

So... simply overheating the self driving mechanisms our economy, by working them to death trying to compensate for an unending barrage of violent inputs... is not possible.

AI algorithms exist independent of any one server, drive, card, or chip... and the internet as a whole is built to withstand daily attacks from global electrical storms and natural disasters, solar storms, and a never ending assault on the power grid from the world’s squirrels.

So, the economy is quite safe from his day to day insanity.

The question is... is that self driving infrastructure clever enough to deal with the long term, artificial inflation that his tariffs will impose upon the system from the outside?

With the tariffs... Trump is side-stepping the computers entirely, and fucking with the underlying economic math itself!

That’s... what a tariff is!  

It’s a way for a leader to arbitrarily change the fundamental math that underpins the economy.

So the answer to the question... if the self driving economy can correct for such a root level attack... depends on how intelligent it actually is.

All of these learning algorithms, working in concert toward the one objective of maintaining and improving the circulation of money... are ALL black-box algorithms, as touched on in the previous entry.

It means... all of them have evolved to survive inside our internet jungle of multiple such species of AI... and while we do not know how any of them think or work... it’s a safe bet they will all work together to isolate and neutralize the same existential threat.

Now, that last paragraph echoes the two-parter on cyber sentience... specifically the fear of such destroying humanity in an act of self preservation... but that fear was fairly well resolved in that two-parter... and the echo to it here, is not intentional.

Instead... and now we are down to the grit of tonight’s entry... I believe it may just be possible that a self driving economy, such as our own, could actually posses, within the cryptic depths of it’s curious, collective mind... a primal awareness that all the, “off the chart,” alarms which have been plaguing it recently, are tied back to one single “agent” known as “President Trump.”

This would seem to make sense, given that the same collective of economic bots are able to identify random teenage girls who are pregnant, even before the girls know it themselves, and start marketing baby products to them.

Would it really be such a leap to imagine that a self driving economy, would not figure out that it was under attack by a worm, introduced through social media, that went by the name of “President Trump.” and... through trial and error... figure out how best to defend against this destructive parasite?

If so... then flashing the all powerful warning signal of an inverted yield curve last week, has proven to be very effective... rattling him to the core, and rattling his greedy enablers hard enough to start trotting out Republican primary challengers against him.

What this would amount to is nothing less than... a self driving car which is learning how to eject an abusive driver... even when the cops are giving that abusive driver a pass... without destroying itself... by turning that abusive driver’s friends against him... by threatening their lives.

And that’s pretty damn clever, if you ask me.

Of course, at this juncture you’re surely thinking, “all of this is has to be bullshit and the inverted yield curve was real!  That’s all there is to this!  The rest is just your own madness trying to get rid of Trump without suffering an economic downturn.”

And maybe you’re right.

But the larger theme of this blog IS... that we are living in very strange times... like nothing we’ve seen before.

And all of this is just an attempt to try and explain such insanity... by tying together the newest branches of established science, tech, and sociology... into a kind of braided rope to climb?

Okay, time for bed.

[buttersbots]

Ficlet: Fathers’ Day

:0 Day late Fathers’ Day short.

deviantART | Archive of Our Own | FanFiction.net

“You doing alright?” Two asked in a low voice, putting her hand on Nos’s elbow.

“Oh, yes, I’m fine. Just came out to enjoy a bit of quiet,” the Energy Vampire smiled. They were hovering on the patio outside the Earthclasses’ living room, looking out at the city lights sparkling off the lake. Small boats slipped over the glassy surface, emanating distant music and laughter.

Wall.E and One had built their house on the same spot that the truck once stood, perched at the top of a fortified bridge extending over the water. It was made with a similar style to the towering residential buildings on the shore, with pale stucco walls, red tile roofs, and high, arched windows. The inside was decorated with the best of Wall.E’s collection, flowers growing out of anything that could hold dirt, with even more plant life spilling out of hanging planters. Somehow, as eclectic as it was, the place could never be called “messy.” The Earthclasses managed to maintain enough order to host parties such as the one currently underway, a celebration of the third Sunday of June, Fathers’ Day. The patio where Nos and Two stood was floored with tiles made to look like wood, a glass table with six chairs to one side and a couple overstuffed sofas under an awning to the other, fairy lights illuminating the whole area from above. The coffee table between the sofas was littered with glasses and plates from the human guests who had been out to watch the sunset, some detritus even sitting on the edges of planters filled with colorful succulents.

“You don’t always have to follow me when I disappear at parties, you know. I’d rather you catch up with your friends than sit alone with me.”

“Has it ever occurred to you that I might be disappearing as well?” Two chuckled, leaning against his side. “It always gets a little crazy after Mary’s third glass of wine, anyway.”

Nos gave a short hiss of amusement, putting his arm around her shoulders. “I thought that was half the fun of having parties with humans!”

“I mean, sure, but some of the ‘bots from the Axiom get a little too into it. You should’ve seen the look on poor Michael’s face when Mary started singing and L-T let her use them as a microphone!”

“Oh, is that why everyone went inside?” Nos smirked.

“No, no, I think they started opening presents. That’s actually part of why I came out here... I figured it was a good time to slip away without anyone noticing.”

“Well, shouldn’t at least one of us be there to see Wall.E open the gift we got him?”

“Eh,” Two shrugged, “we’ll get a thank you note either way. I was thinking we might go home soon, anyway... I’m beat.”

Nos-4-a2 hummed and squeezed her side, his hand trailing down to the front of her containment chamber. “You are feeling a bit low. We need to be more careful. It’s not good for your energy to fluctuate now that we have a third party to consider.”

Two smiled and laced her fingers with his. She had only been pregnant for a month and hadn’t started to show it yet, but things were already changing. The nanobots were hard at work processing information and starting to build components; she wasn’t used to how fast it sapped her energy. “The baby’s probably just a speck at this point... I don’t know how it’s managing to drain me like this!”

Nos grinned and kissed the top of Two’s head. “We must have a little vampire on our hands.”

Two’s eyeforms swelled. “Oh wow, I never thought of that...”

“Well, it would make sense. You only became pregnant after you turned.”

“Wow...” Two whispered again, “I wonder if Patrick’s thought of that.”

“Something tells me he would have talked to us about it by now if he had. The man’s a fanatic... I’m sure he’d have some input about it if we asked him at your next check-up, though.”

Two grumbled and pressed her head into Nos’s chest. “I can practically hear the excitement in his voice now. Honestly... just thinking about his high energy is exhausting.”

“Well, we don’t need to worry about that now. Let’s enjoy the view for a bit, just until they’re done with presents. We can say goodbye to everyone after that, and then I’ll carry you home.”

“Really?” Two beamed.

“Of course,” Nos smiled back, “we can’t have you exerting yourself too much! You always make it a race, and I don’t think high speed chases are good for the baby’s development.”

“I only make it a race because you constantly drag behind,” Two scoffed.

“Oh, is that so?” the tall robot drawled, “Then maybe it would be faster to fly yourself home after all!”

“No! I mean ‒ I guess I can put up with it for now.”

Nos laughed and rolled his optic, leaning forward against the railing and rubbing the dip in Two’s side. It was truly a spectacular view, and the cool breeze rolling off the water made the scene all the nicer. Two relaxed against him and watched the patterns in the water, the waves far below lapping steadily towards the shore. Sometimes it moved as the wake of a boat or the ripples from a fish breaching the surface, but it still seemed regular, mathematical. Two had to catch herself to stop from drifting off, so comfortable under her husband’s touch, surrounded by the muffled sound of celebration and chattering behind them and distant music from passing boats. She fantasized about the soft bed waiting for them at home, cuddling into Nos-4-a2’s metal and sleeping the night away. Two actually started to doze off when one of the french doors that led to the patio opened wide, bursting with the sound of the party.

“Oh! Dad, I found him!”

Nos and Two looked back to greet Willow, who floated over the threshold with her father making his way through the crowd behind her. Some people watched Wall.E curiously, but most were so invested in their current conversations that they just squeezed out of the way to let him through. He had to turn sideways and shuffle on his treads to make it past some of the tighter spots, but he eventually made it through the door and out to the patio.

“Thanks, Willow. Could you tell Momma we need her out here?”

Willow nodded and darted off, hovering over the crowd to find One.

“Sorry, were you looking for me? I didn’t mean to be hard to find,” Nos turned fully away from the railing to face Wall.E. The short compactor sported a fresh coat of yellow paint and a vividly patterned bowtie around his neck, gifts from his wife and daughter respectively.

“No, it’s fine! Better that we’re outside,” Wall.E looked back over his shoulder to make sure they weren’t being listened to, dropping his voice, “We know you haven’t told everybody you’re expecting yet, but we got you something for Fathers’ Day.”

“What? You really didn’t have to, we ‒ we hardly told you a week ago! How’d you have the time? Besides, I’m not a father yet,” Nos-4-a2 stammered.

Wall.E’s optics lifted, the covers of his lenses conveying a grin. “Then happy ‘Almost-a-Father’s Day.’ Come sit down, nobody will be able to see us over here...”

Nos and Two followed Wall.E to the sofas, taking seats across from him. One came outside almost immediately after with a package in her hands, Willow following and making sure the door shut behind them.

“Oh, good! I was worried you’d left,” One smiled.

“Without saying goodbye? Come on,” Two laughed, shaking her head.

“I’ve been distracted! But it doesn’t matter. Here,” she handed the package to Nos before hovering back to lean on the sofa, absentmindedly taking Wall.E’s hand while Willow bounced onto the cushion next to her dad.

“This is really too kind. What could you possibly have gotten me though?”

“The point is to open it and find out,” Willow snickered.

Nos smirked, “All right, smart aleck.”

The package didn’t have a bow, simply wrapped in blue and white striped paper. Nos used his talons to tear it away and reveal a book with hard-backed binding in a featureless, deep green. The book was light and wider than it was tall, a silk ribbon lining the spine.

“It’s beautiful,” Two murmured, leaning over Nos’s side.

“Open it up!” One gestured, giddy.

Nos lifted the cover, still not sure what to expect, and found it was a scrapbook entirely empty besides a single, official looking image of white coding on a black backdrop with a date stamp along the bottom from the previous month. The Energy Vampire’s expressive optic opened as wide as it could. Under the picture was a handwritten caption: “Baby’s first line of code.”

His voice was hardly louder than a whisper. “Is this...?”

“It’s a baby book,” Wall.E answered.

With Nos and Two still staring, awestruck, One continued, “I visited Patrick at work the day after you told us the news. When I asked him if he could give us anything we could put into a baby book for you, he printed this off right away and told me it was the first sign he had that Two was pregnant. What do you think?”

Nos-4-a2’s smile stretched all the way across his face, his silver fangs glittering under the fairy lights. “I... this is the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received... thank you!”

Two nodded vigorously, covering the base of her visor in her hands, keeping herself from speaking in case she started to cry.

“Oh, I’m so glad you like it!” One chirped.

“Of course,” Nos traced the jumble of characters on the paper with the pad of his finger, trying to hide the fact that he had oil building in his optic.

“We know your baby isn’t here yet, but that doesn’t make them any less real. If you ever need anything, advice, planning, whatever you can think of, we hope you’ll come to us,” Wall.E nodded.

Nos could only bring himself to say “thank you” again, lacing his arm around Two and hugging her to his side. One, unable to contain herself at having elicited an emotional response from Nos-4-a2, hovered forward to hug him as well.

“Happy Fathers’ Day, Nos!”

Obviously, I would have preferred to post this yesterday, but I was distracted at a huge Fathers’ Day celebration with my own clan! I probably could have had it done if I had just written what I had originally planned, a super short story where Two woke Nos up with a fancy power cell and a kiss for Nos’s “first” Fathers’ Day after she’s pregnant, but I’m trying to expand my scenery a little. I don’t know if it’s as obvious to you guys as it is to me, but a LOT of my stories happen while the characters are either waking up or getting into bed. I guess one of my greatest fantasies is just being cozy... Headcanon: The rogue robots, the Ratzenbergers (John, Mary, and their immediate families), the Earthclasses, and the Energy Vampires are all basically one big family who gets together for every little occasion. Others, including but not limited to the McCreas and the Henrys, are considered part of the extended family and always make it to at least one gathering a year, usually Christmas. Also, for the Earthclasses’ house, I decided to create a description based on this shot. I know it shows the truck on the end of the bridge, but this is already a crossover AU... so I don’t feel too bad twisting the canon a little. Wall.E and One are grown adults with a growing family who need a roomy house! They keep all the knick-knacks they couldn’t fit into the decor in a storage unit and the truck itself is kept as a historical monument in a local museum.