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frostyreturns · 1 year ago

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Frosty Ruins "Bottoms"

Are you ready for this movie review? Get ready because it starts rough and never stops getting rougher. This is a review I was dreading because it seems to have marketed itself as a cringe fag fest and the first 10 seconds of the movie didn't disappoint, I already hate it and I already have so many complaints. The movie opens on two women discussing "getting puss." You don't know these characters, you know nothing about them not their personalities, their interests their values, not even their names…but you do know about their sex lives. Not only have they prioritized their sex lives over every single other aspect of who they are, making this a degenerate starting point…but it's disorienting from a story standpoint. Why do I care about this character…what do I call this character…give me some setting, some backdrop…anything. Porn starts with more story and less focus on sex than this.

I can tell already this is going to be a constant violater of the classic "show don't tell" advice because the dialogue is atrocious. Lines like "Im in a little suit like the lesbian I am" make you reject the idea that these are even people talking…all I can see is script writers, cameramen, and a director, it does the opposite of making me forget I'm watching a movie…it makes me painfully aware of it and I don't buy it as a genuine human interaction. This is dialogue that can only be the work of a broken illiterate persons imagination or an algorithmic writing program. It's like someone asked chatgpt to write superbad but gay and without any humour or reason. Tell me this doesn't sound like a robot attempting humour... "I bet you could eat food, digest it, let it marinate and poop it out." I'm not making that up or being hyperbolic that is word for word actual dialogue from this awful fucking piece of shit horrorfest of a movie.

Although I will give them credit for one interaction where they acknowledge that some or even all of the bullying and hate they get doesn't come from being gay but from being "ugly and untalented" and show an example of a popular gay dude being widely accepted. But yeah a premise of the movie is that the people are hard to look at on purpose. Finally some acknowledgment that physical appearance plays a much greater role in bullying and acceptance than any minority or special interest status ever did.

One final point in this movies favour is presenting a completely accurate depiction of how cringe and gameless most lesbians are. The moment a woman tries to pickup other women they grow a fedora and a neckbeard and start spilling spaghetti out of their pockets. It's a reluctant point because it also makes the movie incredibly hard to watch for a whole new reason.

I have to talk about the black characters rant early on in the movie, I call her that because again I have no idea who anyone is or what to call them because who they are has taken a massive backseat to who they want to fuck. She goes on this explosive insane rant and there are so many things wrong with it I don't even know where to begin. It comes out of nowhere for one, it makes no sense, she talks about hanging up her vagina…but then her idea of hanging it up is having sex with someone else…I only know it's a guy because I was able to rewind 3 times and listen back to what she was saying. She introduces a character in the dumbest way imagineable. Imagine the first time you get introduced to a character is in a mumbly lightning fast rant about their sex life. If you slow it down and piece it together you learn she's introducing a religious character who is a friend of hers and a closeted homo. See I thought homosexuality was supposed to be two people of the same sex hooking up but she seems to think that because she can't get women and he's closetted it means they would of course be a good default couple.

The rant is also grossly blasphemous and not even just to Christians. I can't explain how bad this is you just have to hear it. "Because he's gay and fearless he's probably going to fuck me without protection, I'm gonna get pregnant, we'll have to join a church and he'll probably be the gay pastor." What the fuck is she talking about, why would a gay man be fucking her…how is she so certain he would fuck her without protection and why is she saying it like she would have no say in the matter? Why would her getting pregnant mean they would have to join a church…why would he then be the pastor of the church? You already established he was gay so why do you have to specify he'd be a gay pastor? None of this makes any sense, every sentence deviates further fom rationality than the last and every line brings with it new unanswered questions. Then it ends with her screaming "the deacons fucking the evangelist" over and over and crying. My headache has a headache. Gay people have to pray people do not watch this movie because "homophobia" will skyrocket if they do.

The movie also has some of the most unbelievable and wooden dialogue I've ever heard in my life. Nobody in the history of planet earth has ever spoken or behaved the way the people in this movie do. It's almost like to make up for the fact that it's a comedy with no jokes or humour at all they try to just exaggerate every interaction and then do it very big with overacting and overreacting. For example a football player is insisting he did nothing wrong by groping an older woman in front of his girlfriend….already a ridiculous caricature of straight men, then he tries to stop her from leaving in her friends car where they gently bump into him with the car and he explodes into hysterics like he's been gievously injured…and the entire football teams comes running to help and fawn over him like he's a gunshot victim. As I write this I figured out what this movie is and why every moment of it feels so cringe and wrong…every interaction is like a fake tumblr story, from the start it had "the whole bus clapped" vibes. Like when the principle summons the main characters to his office by getting on the intercom and announcing to the whole school "can the ugly untalented gays please come to my office." You know the saying it's funny because it's true…it goes the other way…this is not funny because it has no truth in it whatsoever. Every second of this movie is false, every line, every action, every shot…just rings of untruth and fabrication. This movie is the comedy equivalent of a real doll. It has all the same parts all the limbs are where they belong…but they are not real…there's a hollow soullessness to it, a feeling of plastic wrongness.

I said before it's like someone prompted chat gpt but it gets worse and more likely AI written the more you watch. It's like they said to combine superbad and fightclub but make it sound like it was written by tumblr and one of the criteria was that it had to be lesbians and it had to be pure unfiltered cancer.

By the way as of this point in the review I've only watched 9 minutes of this horrific piece of dogshit. This is going to be without a doubt the worst movie I've ever watched every sentence of it pisses me off. Every moment is a new thing to piss you off, this is a weapons grade bad movie…like it was made in a lab to cause frustration and braincunting. Just when you're relieved they stopped arguing over which one of them is faggot #1 and which one is faggot #2 the one asks the other if she "perioded herself." Then there is a completely unexplained "joke" where one of the students claims her vagina is owned by the government and as the viewer you're left with again so many questions…why was that supposed to be a joke? what does it mean? And please can I have at least a ten second break from incoherence and cringe?

Then in another "that happened" moment the football guy from earlier comes into class…in his full gear…because to whoever made this movie it's just a costume and football players are not people outside of playing football. He then smashes a glass and threatens her with it by mimicking dragging the glass across his throat…and the teachers response is "hey man you couldn't make that analogy with your fist?" And again so many things wrong all at once. Why is the teacher not punishing him for smashing school property and then threatening another student? Why does a teacher not understand the difference between an analogy and a gesture? Again these little details are part of why I'm starting to seriously believe my this shit is all being written by algorithms theory. It's like nobody even bothered to edit the script. It's full of lines that make no sense, jokes that have no setup or no punchline…just the cadence of a joke.

If I go in depth into everything wrong with this movie I'll literally…not figuratively have to examine every single line, because at least for the start of this movie there is not one line that is not absolutely mind numbingly retarded and frustrating. And every line has multiple things wrong with it. Listen to some of this shit…

"How come you can't buck up and learn to protect yourselves without running somebody over."

"You can beat the shit out of each other while you perform the vagina monologues,just stay in your lane until you're munching beaver at weslyan."

By the way those two lines are how the concept of them starting a fight club comes up, it's so abrupt, so out of nowhere and so retardly nonsensical…it doesn't follow at all. The entire premise of the movie hinges on a throwaway line that makes no sense. The only reason they bumped into a guy with their car was he was threatening them and preventing them from leaving because they were offering a ride to his ex girlfriend. They took this to mean we as gay people need to learn self defense…already a leap in logic because nobody was attacking them and certainly not because they were gay. Then they accept their principles notion that they shouldn't use anything to defend themselves with, a retarded idea that nobody even bothered to attempt to explain or defend…and they just accept that they can't or shouldn't use whatever means they have available to defend themselves and instead have to learn hand to hand combat…another stretch. And then decide that the best way to do this is to start a fight club with other gays where they all just beat each other up. And they do this because the principle suggested it for no reason while insulting them. And by the way I'm explaining this all way better and more clearly than the movie does, the movie is just a string of incoherent sentences that form some idea of a patchwork of a plot I'm just trying to make sense of the nonsense. This plot is not the work of an intelligence at all…nevermind a low intelligence.

I really can't finish this movie,this is normally the amount of rage and content I have after a full 2 hour movie but im only at 14 minutes here. It's not even that the writing is so atrocious, the timing, the delivery…the acting is just the worst I've ever seen. I've sat through some horrifically bad movies over the years for these reviews I've sat through countless movies and shows that I grade as F-and yet never once did I say ok I can't watch this anymore…I've always finished it. I've watched woke black sitcoms, Rian Johnson movies, femsploitation reboots and yet this is the first time I've ever had to say no I can't finish this it's too awful. This movie is without a single doubt in my mind the worse movie ever made. It has ruined my grading curve because I need a grade so much lower than an F- and it just doesn't exist. Is Z- minus a thing? If in theory that is 20 grades lower than a fail that's what I give this movie. May God have mercy on us all.

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tolkienbrained · 2 years ago

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when i first heard about yoshiden i was like ok cool ship but it doesn't make much sense but THEN i started thinking about it and found and absolute goldmine.

first off, we all know or at least can tell that one of the main overarching themes in chainsaw man is the subversion of common shonen tropes (which fujimoto does wonderfully, mind you) such as "the perverted main character". denji is a subversion of this trope for many reasons which should be discussed in a different post but how wonderful would it be for the sex-crazed women-obsessed character to realize that, oh, maybe women aren't the only option and end up with a guy? i say bisexual denji rights. although to be fair it's true that so far there hasn't been any indication for this in the manga, i don't think denji is at the point where he has realized exactly WHY he's so obsessed with women (cough mommy issues and touch-deprivation).

linking that last point a bit with the Yoshiden Thesis™ we have the fact that a lot of his affection for makima in the first part was most likely linked to this deprivation of love as he grew up and possibly to his lack of a mother figure while he was growing up. and of course makima herself instigated this affection and knowingly manipulated denji. most women denji has known until now have used him, and hurt him in different ways (or just have been older women that shouldn't be messing with a sixteen-year-old anyway). in fact, the ONLY genuinely positive relationship with a woman denji has in part 1 is with power, and it's completely platonic. and it's not only women who have hurt denji, most people in part 1 (with some notable exceptions (aki and power my beloveds)) were not interested in denji, didn't want denji, just cared about chainsaw man and the chainsaw devil. yoshida is someone tasked with protecting DENJI and making sure DENJI gets to live a peaceful, happy life. he has shown a willingness to put up with denji's ridiculousness and has even seemed amused by it. it's too early in part 2 to honestly tell, but we could even say he cares about denji (or possibly will soon since fujimoto needs more characters to break denji's heart even more, fucker).

once again coming back to the "women-obsessed, sex-crazed" part, denji being deprived of affection made him grow up thinking that was the only way to show affection and love, possibly because of how media and society, in general, are very sexualised. a lot of his arc in part 1 was him realizing this isn't true, as shown in his relationship with power and aki. it would be a nice finishing touch to that arc for him to realize that not only are platonic affective relationships possible and just as important/fulfilling as romantic ones, but how romantic relationships also aren't just limited to women and sex by falling in love with yoshida.

of course all of this is talking from a fandom/fanfic standpoint. these are just the reasons why i personally love the ship and consume content on it, and i'm in no way saying "this is definitely going to be canon!!" lol. i went a bit off the rails here but i'm just obsessed with yoshiden rn.

TL;DR yoshiden FUCKS and would go greatly along denji's arc and the themes in chainsaw man.

EDIT: oh my god i just reread this and i mean fucks as in it's very cool not as in they're fucking each other i'm crying LMAO

EDIT2: seeing the recent chapters all of this is most likely going down the drain but i'm still shipping yoshiden idc

#csm #chainsaw man #yoshiden #meta #csm meta #cloudy musings

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ctl-yuejie · 3 years ago

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How the diverse world of the addictive tv series “Cherry magic” got made

(interview with scriptwriter Yoshida Erika by Yokogawa Yoshiaki)

沼堕ち続出ドラマ“チェリまほ”の多様な世界はどうやって作られたのか【脚本家・吉田恵里香さん】2020.12.22 横川良明

for @howdydowdy because we were talking about what a fantastic character Fujisaki is and the notion of consent when it comes to reading someone’s mind

Currently, societal values continue to change rapidly. On one hand the movement of respecting each other’s diverse individualities and making it easier for each and every one to live in society has become more active, one the other hand it is not a rare occasion to be lost for words when suddenly unconscious discriminatory biases – derived from not being able to cut loose old values that are rooted deep in oneself – raise their heads.

How should we exist within this period of polarization? This series is to create the opportunity to think about this topic by having discussions with the toprunners in the entertainment world. The person I am introducing for the first edition is screenwriter Yoshida Erika.

She is behind the script of “Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!”, the tv series that has grabbed the first spot on the oricon satisfaction ranking for 4 weeks in a row, and has gained fast popularity despite its late-night spot. The enthusiasm for the show can be attributed to the soft view Ms. Yoshida has on the world.

Yokogawa Yoshiaki (YY): I am happily watching the series. I really liked the original work, however the way it was adapted to a television format has been brilliant. One big thing is the making of the character of Kurosawa played by Machida Keita. By Adachi’s magic (played by Akasouji Eiji), the voice of Kurosawa’s heart spills out, and while the original text had him be quite blatant in his expressions overall, the drama carefully examines them.

Yoshida Erika (YE): That is definitely where there is a difference in depth. The original has the premise of a work in the BL genre, readers are expecting a BL-like development, so they can take such things in stride, but the viewership of the tv series is more varied. Under them there might be people who do not like BL. That is why I was conscious about how different people from different backgrounds might watch this show.

It is not okay to assault someone just because you were invited to their house, kissing or touching without consent is not okay and being of the same or different sex makes no difference in this. Treating such things as okay because it is BL would be rude to the parties concerned. Because we are using the BL genre, we want to specifically protect the “firsts” of the parties concerned. That is something the producer Ms. Honma Kanami and the director agreed about and I therefore paid extra attention to.

YY: Adachi himself, as he is about to step into Kurosawa’s house thinks “Not that I might possibly get assaulted?!”, and is very vigilant, but with some soul-searching realizes that that is rude towards Kurosawa. To say it briefly, you can feel the probity of the creators.

YE: I thought that a main character that thinks that he will get assaulted when he steps into the house of someone will not be loveable. No matter how well received the person is who acts it out, if we cannot love them on a human level, this drama will not work. Adachi’s power to read people’s hearts is also the action of seeing people’s darker sides on his own volition. That’s why a character we cannot love as a person will receive push-back by the viewers.

YY: Just like you said, the act of reading peoples’ hearts includes great violence. That is why I think that when he realizes that Kurosawa has fond feelings for him, unlike the original where he reads Kurosawa’s heart on purpose, the drama treats it as an accidental force. Over the whole series, it is of focal importance that Adachi doesn’t overuse his magic.

YE: That is where we were extremely careful. In the manga easy comprehensiveness is important and that type of suspense is interesting - and we don’t intend to deny that - but if you do it as a drama, I didn’t want to make him into a young man using his powers at ease. That is why, especially in the first half, he decides and tries very hard not to use his powers when possible. The scene where he reads the CEO’s heart appears in the first issue of the original, but in the drama we pushed it back to the 5th episode. We made it a point to illustrate how Adachi is filled with the emotion to help Kurosawa and that is why he uses his powers.

That what I don’t want others to do unto me, I do not want to inflict on characters.

YY: His colleague Fujisaki (Satou Ryo) is a Fujoshi in the original and that premise was cut from the series. If you decided to have a Fujoshi character on a prime time show, did you think that misunderstandings might arise easily?

YE: That was definitely a thought. In BL as a genre it is not an issue that a character exists that takes the same viewpoint as the reader, and I love Fujisaki in the original, but the people who are acting it out in reality are real people. At that point, loudly fawning about someone else’s’ love life is not perceived as good conduct. At the least, I thought that I wouldn’t want to be treated like that.

YY: It is fine to envision fictional characters as romantic partners, but it is different when you make a real acquaintance the target of that.

YE:

A thought we had was that if Adachi and Kurosawa were to really date it would be one thing, but grinning at someone - who might even be heterosexual – because you inflate your own BL adjacent delusion isn’t much different from a man grinning at a woman with big breasts and calling her sexy. I wouldn’t want to get treated that way, so I didn’t want to inflict that on the characters in the story as well.

When it comes to Fujisaki it isn’t like she isn’t a Fujoshi. We do not clearly state it, but I thought there was no reason to show it in the drama.

YY: You are saying, that it is fine that people might interpret Fujisaki as a Fujoshi when she is smiling at Adachi and Kurosawa.

YE: Yes. That is where you are free to imagine (laughs).

YY: What I thought was very fresh is that instead of proclaiming her to be a Fujoshi, Fujisaki is turned into someone who “is happily living her daily life even without romantic love”. We don’t often get characters like that in Japanese tv series.

Personally, I also like romantic tv series, but while feeling venerated when the main characters have realized their love in the final episode, when trying to build a romantic connection to someone else in real life it might not go well and beyond that, it is not that it never happens that I, who also holds interests in other things than romance, end up feeling empty because of the lonely feeling of having been left behind (when watching a romance on tv unfold).

But with having Fujisaki appear, it felt like I got rescued.

YE: Until now, for several projects I made the suggestion of a character that is not interested in romance, but I wasn’t understood. “Is it necessary to do that?” “Aren’t you overthinking it?” were things I got told often.

But with this production, when I said that I wanted Fujisaki to be asexual or aromantic, no one denied me. From that stage on I thought that this place was a good one, and thanks to the original writer giving her agreement it got turned into reality.

YY: Since this kind of character hasn’t really appeared in a tv series, it felt like people like Fujisaki were assigned to be non-existent in this world. But thanks to you envisioning her like this, seen from a person that like Fujisaki might say “I got used to acting “normal”” and feel a notion of despair when confronted with people not understanding them, it felt like it got emphasized that people like her also exist in our society. Picking such little voices feels like it is one of the purposes of entertainment.

YE: If that could become the case I would be glad about it. 10 to 20 years prior, a “fairytale gay” (describing the flamboyant gay friend, that mentally supports the heroine by giving some harsh but accurate advice) often appeared in tv series from abroad, but this portrayal slowly changed, finally it has reached the point where the view point that being gay isn’t something special has penetrated the public.

So this time, I believe that one of my duties was to tell the story of people that are not interested in romance or people who do not only love one person, not from a standpoint that is convenient for consumption, but to have properly realized characters up to their individual backgrounds.

I hope the time comes where it isn’t necessary to especially say “This is a BL series”

YY: Please let me speak on something that has confused me this far. Prior, when you explained Fujisaki in context of the script, it felt like it wasn’t okay to call her asexual or aromantic because she herself doesn’t use any of those labels. I was somewhat afraid that an outsider would just selfishly declare that “you are asexual, aren’t you!?” in regards to someone who hasn’t professed anything.

YE: There is the point of both of the terms asexual and aromantic not being widely known in Japan as much as compared to overseas and I also think there are people who just wouldn’t use these words. Even when you think you are not interested in romance at the moment, it could also be that you just haven’t found the person that makes you feel that way. That’s why I can understand how labelling someone has a violent notion.

YY: My next question is also relating to that: This applies to Cherry Maho, but generally when I write about over works that feature a lovestory between men I try not to use the word BL.

This is my own opinion but to me it feels like the term BL has too much of a sexual image.

In private I casually use the word BL. However, for the content of an article that is read by an unspecified number of people, I remember stumbling over labelling something as BL. Using BL as an easy genre specifier has the effect that there will be a layer that won’t get looked at. I simply want to have more people enjoy a piece of work. I don’t object to the editor using BL in the title but in the content I write, I try not to use the term BL story but simply “love story between two men” and keep it close to how you’d address it in reality.

YE: I understand that. Obviously, I don’t intend to shame the taste of people that like BL. However, I understand that there are people that feel a sense of resistance towards BL as a genre. That is why I also don’t use the word BL when I promote on twitter. I do think that it would be great to have a new word.

Just like women have things they don’t want to be subjected to, men also have things they don’t want to be subjected to. This kind of awareness has become more broadly spread bit by bit. However, in order to have it really penetrate society it needs for the voices of the affected people to be heard. But it is also the reality of today’s society that violence is directed at people that raise their voice. That is why I feel like it is the job of the people that create tv shows to speak up instead.

At the least, that is how I want to straightforwardly create the world, so that in 10 years without directly stating “this is a BL series” we have a society that takes it in as a “new cool romantic drama beginning” with “the leads being actor x and actor z” and as nothing unusual. Now we really have such a transitional period, and as a writer I want to build the steps towards it.

original article: https://mi-mollet.com/articles/-/27045?page=3&per_page=1

#cherry magic #thirty years of virginity can make you a wizard #30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい #30 sai made #a bit rusty with my translations but i really enjoyed how they were talking about the writing and character composition in the series and #decided that I had to share #long post

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jennycalendar · 3 years ago

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ok you know what i think it’s actually really vital that i talk a little bit about tea time. buckle up kiddos.

first off, a brief and relatively spoiler-free summary: the premise of the issue is very simple. the kiddos (aged up, if willow’s mention of being engaged is any indication) are hanging out in the library to help giles with research, swapping stories about what it would be like were giles a vampire. each of them, save giles, gets a chance to tell a detailed story -- xander tells two! -- and each story plays out in a way that says a lot about the scooby that’s telling it AND the way they view giles.

obviously this is a VERY character-driven issue, and it’s a really really interesting look at giles and how he is perceived as well! shit like that is my bread and butter, so this has honestly become one of my favorite things that boom has put out -- possibly my ACTUAL top favorite issue if we’re being real here.

below the cut is a spoilery dissection of every story told -- a literal summary of Every Single Thing that happens in this issue, as well as what it has to say about the scoobies and their perception of giles, so definitely keep that in mind.

as can be seen in the preview, xander’s first story is about giles rising from the grave as an ineffectual british caricature, who is easily defeated by smoldering, sexy xander harris (and xander in turn walks off with buffy and willow draped all over him, cooing about how amazing he is). it’s more of an intro to the premise than anything, but it still sets the tone pretty clearly wrt how xander handles this situation: there’s some laughter and levity, and he’s center stage. obviously a lot can be said about xander’s self-esteem issues and how he overcompensates by casting himself as the main protagonist both in canon and here. however, i wanna save my more in-depth xander analysis for his second, longer, story, so i’ll stop myself there.

willow immediately responds with skepticism: she’s of the mind that giles would be an incredibly serious big-bad level threat. the tale she spins involves giles as a dangerous vampire cleric with access to a cryptic altar, killing xander almost immediately and slaughtering buffy as a sacrifice to create eternal night. her view of giles is more clinical than anything -- and, i would argue, the most perceptive and realistic from a threat standpoint. the guy knows a fuckton of magic and he is incredibly well-read and powerful. he’d have some kind of terrifying master plan. where xander goes for comedy, willow goes straight for logistics, already looking at the battle like it’s a battle rather than laughs aplenty.

xander and buffy have a bone to pick with willow’s story (xander is indignant that he’s immediately and brutally killed, buffy is of the mind that she would easily defeat giles in hand-to-hand combat even if he IS a vampire), so (after one more teasing story where buffy lives and xander dies) willow gracefully alters her narrative to reflect her friends’ objections: after a dramatic tussle, xander helps willow and buffy unceremoniously stakes giles in the heart. still pretty straightforward and plausible. willow sees vamp giles primarily as a threat -- one not easily neutralized. one who could easily wipe them out.

buffy, about to tell her story, is interrupted by xander, who “had an even better idea!” the web he weaves is this time purported as realistic and entertaining: while partying at the bronze, buffy and co. are interrupted by a bunch of balding, greying vampires in curlers and bathrobes, led, of course, by giles -- who is wearing a hair bonnet and disapprovingly informing the bouncers how late it is at eight PM. a knockdown brawl breaks out at the bronze -- old people feeding on and decimating the young -- and culminates in giles and the geezers taking over the band to sing “some terrible song” that’s “probably something really old and bad!” the rest of the story descends into b-movie chaos, with buffy throwing a broken guitar neck up at the stage lights to send the whole thing crashing down onto vampire giles and his vampire old person band. it’s categorically absurd.

the thing that really sticks with me about this story is how dumb it is. xander’s take on giles is not even slightly serious and wholly underestimates him. fandom at large talks a lot about how giles dropped the ball with xander, but i think tea time explores an easily overlooked factor: xander constantly, consistently underestimates giles. in canon, xander’s view of giles is not often challenged: to him, giles is a bumbling, british librarian who regularly gets his ass handed to him by vamps and demons and the like. certainly part of his story’s intent is about laughingly entertaining his gal pals, but there’s a very real and consistent thread involving giles being hilariously nonthreatening.

giles, taking umbrage at this particular tale, calls out both xander and willow: xander’s story, in giles’s opinion, emasculates vamp giles and turns him into a ridiculous caricature -- and willow’s story, though much more flattering, lacks the kind of imagination that vamp giles would clearly have. he then offers a suggestion of his own. it’s worth mentioning here that both xander’s and willow’s stories get gorgeous multiple-page spreads depicting the vampy action, but giles’s is a simple and chilling little thing: this is his vampire story. this meeting, called to ostensibly “research” a vampire altar, is really an excuse to get the scoobies to do his dirty work and find the thing for him. they’re tired and silly because the tea and donuts he’s given them are drugged, and their library location is to keep them out of daylight. he laughs it off when he sees they’re bothered, and the meeting is then adjourned when willow finally finds what they’re all looking for.

buffy’s left her phone in the library, so she doubles back, and accidentally wakes up a dozing giles. just as she’s about to leave, he inquires, casually, “...you never did tell your version of the story.”

and good god here is where it gets interesting.

see, buffy’s take is simple: she’s fighting giles in a cemetery, she’s given the chance to kill him, and she is entirely unable to do it. they share a tearful embrace as she sobs about the unfairness of it all -- “you’re giles! and you’ll always be! ...how will i do this without you? without your guidance?” and as the sun is rising, giles turns her into a vampire, with no resistance whatsoever from buffy. the next handful of pages depict bloody, indulgent violence on the parts of giles and buffy, the two of them cuddled up together as they watch the world burn.

buffy’s tale is the most emotive, the most loving, which makes me so damn soft! i love this girl so much! she is unable to even joke about giles as a foe to be taken down -- he is her watcher. he is her friend. she loves him endlessly and that does not change when he’s a vampire. vamp giles as she portrays him is gentle and understanding, holding her as she cries, because he knows that they’re connected. it’s easily my favorite part of this whole issue.

notably, there is a definite buffy/giles bend that the comic itself tries to contradict. the art is sensual in nature -- vamp buffy all dolled up in a way somewhat evocative of drusilla, giles tenderly caressing her face as he waits for her to wake up. “watcher and slayer connected forever” being the quote chosen to describe the situation. i think it’s kind of what naturally happens in a vamp giles sitch, especially if he turns buffy -- the childe/sire bond is incredibly sexual in nature, especially in canon, and a lot of frustrating human sentiment gets translated into something sexual as well. sex is a big BIG part of the relationships between vampires we see in canon; it would make a lot of sense for that to hold true for buffy and giles.

the comic is reticent about Going There, which i can understand -- though buffy is decisively aged up in this issue (willow mentions being engaged to a woman, later revealed to be tara), the buffy/giles bond is always seen through a father/daughter lens in canon. i do think it’s also important to always recognize how desperately giles wishes to escape the label of father in reference to buffy, pretty much entirely because there is no way to parent a child soldier who you’re also training, but that’s a whole other kettle of fish. point is, buffy very pointedly refers to vamp giles as her father not once, but twice -- once as a human, once as a vampire herself. it’s a very clear attempt, imo, to un-sexualize the vampy experience. the reason it doesn’t totally work, at least for me, is the fact that -- like i said -- the childe/sire bond is VERY sexual (spike and dru, angel and darla, angel and dru) and it seems just totally implausible that vamp buffy/vamp giles (two people who, as human were both VERY repressed) would chastely remain within the socially acceptable version of their relationship.

i can definitely understand why they did their best to blur that line, though. the idea of buffy and giles being romantically involved as vampires is 1) Kind Of A Lot and 2) not exactly the target demographic that i think this comic is going for. but the subtext is there, to the point where the issue itself has to actively obfuscate it, which i think is .... so interesting? especially as a counterpoint to the way i often see buffy/giles in fandom, wherein the father/daughter subtext in canon is at times actively obfuscated in fic in an attempt to push a preferred reading.

the ending i particularly enjoyed: after buffy leaves, it is lightly and ambiguously implied that giles might really be a vampire. works GREAT as a standalone, imo, and the end is like the cherry on top. it’s a really REALLY interesting issue and i highly recommend it for any giles fan.

#meta #btvs comics #buffy and giles #''a little bit'' they say. and write a full fucking essay #anyway i love this issue it's my prized possession i am dying for at least one (1) person to read this insane summary and talk to me abt it

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volturialice · 3 years ago

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so i saw a post on tumblr a few days ago about how jasper would handle the loving a human situation so much worse than edward. because, you know, we are talking about jasper-vampirey-totally-traumatized-ex-war-machine-and-an-empath. and i've been thinking about the vampire jasper x human alice thing. considering that, for any reason, he doesn't want/won't kill her, how do you think it would proceed?

I’d be interested to read that post! I actually disagree that he would handle things "worse" than edward, although that's a low bar. I think there are a couple key factors at work with vampire jasper/human alice.

[longass meta under the cut]

1) jasper's terrible control

let's face it, this dude cannot stop snackin on human blood. there's no such thing as cute one-on-one meadow time with him—if you're a delicious blood-filled human and you go into the woods alone with jasper, you ain't coming out alive. and if you're his singer? forget it, you're dead the second you walk over the threshold and so is the rest of your biology class.

there was always some suspension of disbelief involved in buying into the idea that edward was able to get near enough to kiss bella etc in the first place. smeyer tried to have her cake and eat it too with the whole "I could snap and kill you at any second...but let's make out" stuff. she justifies it in-universe by first giving edward Super Control and then having him claim he's simply incapable of hurting bella now after the whole believing she's dead thing in NM, and therefore his Super Control is even better. but ngl, that second part always struck me as pretty lazy writing (“the Power of Love did it!”)

so when people write vamp jasper/human alice, that's something to take into consideration. I personally think the best way to solve jasper's control issues is to make human!alice's blood smell actively bad to him, either because of medication she's on or for some supernatural reason (a reverse-singer? why not.) I went with option A in Perihelion, because it's easy to put Crazy Asylum Girl™ on some good ol' fashioned Brain Drugs.

and even then, I think jasper would still struggle a lot with control. there would be close calls. there would be times he insisted on having conversations in public, or not getting too physical too fast. times he would irish goodbye mid-makeout in order to go drain fifteen deer. from a narrative standpoint, it's a very fun conflict with a lot of potential for drama and comedy.

(especially since alice has far less patience than bella and is constantly trying to speed things up and skip ahead in her relationships lmao)

2) jasper's attitude toward humans

like you said with the traumatized war machine thing, he's much further removed from human experience than edward, who is actively trying to reclaim his humanity at every turn. jasper doesn’t see being human as a morally superior or aspirational state. he was conditioned for 80 years to devalue any life, and to view humans as Food, Not Friends. we get a glimpse in MS of the way he still struggles with that. so to suddenly be in love with someone whose humanity you struggle to recognize would lead to some wild cognitive dissonance. he might end up taking the same She's Not Like Other Humans view as edward.

he’s also a far less...teenage-y character than edward (bella in book 1: “the two older guys looked like they could be teachers”) who is used to adult levels of responsibility and agency, so that’s another big obstacle to falling in love with a human high school kid.

I think the one respect in which jasper and edward react the same is their horror at falling in love with a human, albeit for different reasons (edward: oh god, I'm a monster stealing this pure angel's future and putting her in danger!) (jasper: oh god, I'm attracted to my food source! a puny adolescent mayfly! what is wrong with me?) a pre-alice jasper has zero romantic ideas about One True Loves or whatever (consider how his last relationship went), so it would take him longer to come around to the idea that it's even worth it to try dating a human.

what I take away from this whole thing is that alice would definitely have to be the pursuer, at least at the start of the relationship. jasper’s not gonna go out of his way to get to know her, which is usually step 1 of falling in love. sure, her gift might intrigue him, but she’s the one who would have to go the extra mile to communicate with him. he’s giving her nothing.

3) jasper’s attitude toward vampirism

this one is really the kicker for me, because, as I touched on above, jasper sees nothing special or remotely useful about being human. to him, being a vampire is everything—it makes you safe, it makes you powerful, it makes you live forever. souls? souls are a fake thing the Church came up with to frighten the sheeple into compliance. humans have nothing to lose and everything to gain from becoming vampires.

so accordingly, once he accepted that he was in love with human!alice, jasper would want that girl bitten asap. every second she stays human is a second she’s in danger. another thing jasper has in common with edward is paranoia and overprotectiveness, which in his case is even more justified due to his violent background. the difference is that jasper is extremely practical and solution-oriented, and the obvious solution is “turn alice into a vampire,” not “hide in her bedroom and kill every spider.”

this can lead to its own interesting conflicts, of course. maybe human!alice doesn’t want to be a vampire, or isn’t ready, or lives under the thumb of abusive parents. maybe she gets institutionalized and goes missing. she’s vain enough that maybe she refuses to be changed until her bad haircut grows out, or she gets the chance to be drunk in las vegas at least once, or she gets just a little taller (“pleeeease I know I’m totally gonna hit five feet if we just wait one more year!”) jasper usually respects her agency, but this is one situation in which I can see him way overstepping and going so far as to change her without her consent (though he would probably need to enlist help from someone other than carlisle.)

in conclusion

so is jasper “worse” at dating a human? maybe, but he also doesn’t let her stay human for long, which in my book means he’s already handling things waaaaayyyy better than edward. there are no weird marriage ultimatums or “let’s try to have sex while i’m still human” bargains with jasper. no ghosting for six months and leaving alice unprotected. no soul-related arguments whatsoever.

how I think things would proceed

I mean, it totally depends on all the other factors I listed! I know that feels like a cop-out answer, but there are sooo many ways to execute vampire!jasper/human!alice (or vice versa, though that’s a somewhat different ball game.) for a long time I avoided writing the dynamic myself because it felt like other people had done it better, but then I completely caved and ended up with Perihelion. that story is definitely on the back burner, but any time I’m inspired and think of some specific thing I think would happen with vamp!jasper/human!alice, that’s where I’m gonna put it!

#meta #jasper hale #alice cullen #asks #anonymous #vampire jasper/human alice #perihelion tag #another endlessly long jalice meta by Me

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faithfire-writes · 3 years ago

Text

Tagging @worldsnotsaid for their lovely support and encouragement.

We’ve all heard sj/m’s rhetoric on how she wants to write “Sex positive” books, and how she was always turned off by the female heroines of her day not being allowed to like sex, yada yada. Actual quote: “There’s so much shame around sex in our world—no one should be made to feel embarrassed or wrong about liking sex, or how they like their sex, or who they like to have it with. It’s natural. With consenting partners, sex is healthy and fun and there’s nothing wrong with that,” she says. And she’s right. There is nothing wrong with liking sex. But you know what else there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH? NOT liking sex.

Some people don’t want sex. Some people want all the sex. Because people are—wait for it—DIFFERENT.

While I have no problem with sex in books, I have a problem when sex is substituted for story. Can anyone tell me the PLOT of ACOMAF? Like, from a writing standpoint? What’s the rising action/falling action? What’s the non-sexual climax?? Granted, I read the book years ago, but all I remember is Fey and Rice hating each other, then Mor “rescued her”, she had some training scenes, the Summer Court stuff, and then the mating bond, and the end. The infamous Chapter 55, in which Rice and Fey have their mating bond click and then we get details of their sexual escapades. When we get the backstory of the other members of the Inner Circle, a lot of it is about their interpersonal relationships and who had sex with who. The bonus short story between Nes/ta and Cass/ian was all about their sexual tension and the revelation that she had almost been a victim of sexual assault some time prior. The book OPENS with Fey in bed with Tam, which is post-sex.

ACOMAF is the moment when SJ/M decided she could—and would—write about the sex lives of her characters as much as she pleased. And while this is true (she is the author) she is also hailed as writing super feminist, sex positive books. And again, a part of sex positivity is embracing ALL opinions on sex, including when people DON’T WANT SEX.

Not even the one “pure” character is spared from SJ/M’s obsession with sex:

From ACOSF: “[Nesta] knew Elain had given her maidenhead to Graysen a month before they’d been turned Fae. Elain had been glowing the next morning.”

Really, Sarah Janet? Really? Even Elain, who you have written to be so soft and flaky that she doesn’t seem to have an idea of what’s going on half the time? ELAIN lost her virginity before NESTA??

I like Elain. She is the one character in all of SJ/M’s writings that I relate to. (There was Sorscha, as well as Elide and Yrene in ToG, but Yrene became problematic in ToD and Elide and Lorcan still makes me feel a bit nauseous, and Sorscha was killed off for Dorian’s manpain). To have her “give her maidenhead” to Graysen, while not super surprising in the ACOTAR world, robs us of the chance to see a character who lives in the highly sexualized Fae world who ISN’T INTERESTED IN SEX.

Another character whose sex life surprised me was Amren. I honestly thought Amren was asexual. She never showed any interest in romance/sex and seemed to be a refreshing change from the typical sex-obsessed character (side eyes the rest of the IC). And then in ACOWAR, she suddenly and inexplicably has the hots for Varian (is it possible for ANY platonic relationships between men and woman—sorry, males and females—that aren’t inequal in SJ/M’s works?). Rice explicitly says that she had denied him before. That, plus her comments on her prior body’s lack of gender, led many fans to believe that she was non-binary and asexual. But nope, can’t have that!

And lastly, we have the one line in the book that grates on me.

“Dagdan and Brannagh had listened to her fawning with enough boredom that I was starting to wonder if the two of them perhaps preferred no one’s company but each other’s. In whatever unholy capacity. Not a blink of interest toward the beauty who often made males and females stop to gape. Perhaps any sort of physical passion had long ago been drained away, alongside their souls.”

Aside from the fragmented writing (which sets my teeth on edge) this is so blatantly disrespectful to people who have lower sex drives or a lack of inclination to sex at all that I am almost shaking as I write this. In SJ/M’s world, if you do not have an interest in sex, you are not natural. You do not have a soul. If you are not constantly sleeping with the Right Person (because, as we saw with Nesta, you must be having sex with your predestined “mate” or else be ostracized and called a bitch), and “shaking mountains”, you are not natural and do not have a soul. If you do not see a problem with this, I do not know what to say.

SJ/M claims she is sex positive, but hers is a very narrow idea of sex. The fact that these books are hailed as “sex positive” is insulting to those who choose not to engage in sex for whatever reasons, and this is something that needs to be talked about more.

#anti sjm #anti acotar #anti feysand

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fenristheorem · 4 years ago

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hi, if your ok with it, can we ask hc for the boys (nevra leiftan and lance ) dating a virgin s/o?

Ah, my first request with more than one LI! Happy to write for the three 😊 Also, this is my first time writing Nevra - and I’m not too familiar with his character, especially with what little we know about him in ANE - so I apologize if he’s a bit out of character.

This ask does sort of request an nsfw-ish scenario - considering the main focus is Guardienne being a virgin - which I’m fine writing for Lance but not as much for anyone else. However, in a wide perspective, being a virgin can effect a few other aspects of their relationship rather than just during the moment - and I can sort of imagine very basic nsfw ideas for the other two - so I do feel I can write this well. This ask is a good example of something that walks along the lines of some of my rules, but can bend them a bit since it's nothing too specific.

That being said; these will be general headcanons mixed with the slightest bit of vague nsfw.

~Under the cut~

Nevra with a virgin S/O:

Nevra is a bit... odd about it, I suppose. There’s certainly nothing wrong with Guardienne being a virgin - he’s been the first time for many women in the past - but recently he’s been... spending time with women who have done this before and know their night will be one and done, or perhaps repeated a few more times in the future without any attachment. Of course, he stops seeing these women once in a relationship with Guardienne, but when they encounter the time where this information is brought up, he doesn’t really know how to react.

She’s a virgin - ok, that’s no problem. He knows how to treat a woman during their first time; gentle, attentive, supportive. However, it clashes a bit with his routine as of late, and since he’s still dealing with a lot of emotions from the past, he does question sometimes if this bothers him in some way.

To clarify: I imagine Nevra is fine and accepting with this, and has no problem with acting appropriately during their first time, but he would be a bit... nervous? about how their first time would go. He would wonder if she’ll be anxious and need support, or if it would be so natural that the idea of nervousness or support wouldn’t even cross their minds as something that would need to be prominent during this time.

Basically, he’s been spending his nights with experienced women, so being in a relationship again - with the woman who saved Eldarya and emerged from the crystal no less - and then realizing that she’s a virgin, so he needs (by his own moral opinion and by social expectation) to be attentive during their first time, is out of his current field of expertise. So yes, he’s probably a bit nervous and clueless in some ways.

His emotional standpoint has changed since the White Sacrifice, he’s a bit more aggressive and standoff-ish, so he wonders sometimes if he’ll know how to treat her properly. He wants to be kind, gentle, careful, and tender, but he’s been through so much - between realizing an old friend has betrayed them, living through the war, realizing her and the demon sacrificed themselves, Valk’s death, Ezarel, Cameria and Miiko’s leaving, and so much more - that he’s not exactly sure if he knows how to be all that anymore.

At first it almost sounds like her being a virgin would bother him in the way that would make him turn his interest away from her, but really it’s not that at all. Nevra will put so much pressure on himself to assure that - of everything that has happened in the past years - this will be right and good, and that pressure will display in way that can make her wonder if her being a virgin is a major issue for him.

In a relationship with her, he’d probably have a few issues with softening himself every now and again, especially in the beginning. Sometimes he may forget that he doesn’t need to be (and shouldn’t be if she’s his partner) cold and aggressive with her, and in time he’ll soften up properly, but once he learns that she’s a virgin there’ll be a bit of a relapse in his personality again. He’ll want to make sure everything will be alright - that their first time won’t be screwed up because he doesn’t have much recent experience in taking someone’s virginity - and since that idea will take up most of his thoughts he may forget that he’s being a bit cold towards her again. Basically he’ll slip back into being a bit distant because his thoughts will be preoccupied with trying to think over how things will go.

He’ll be so busy trying to think things over - how he should react, how he should treat her, what happens if she’s truly uncomfortable and not ready, if his reaction will be appropriate in her eyes - to assure everything will be good that he’ll be at risk of accidentally sabotaging something that he would otherwise be just fine at.

Overall, he’ll withdraw a bit again, becoming a bit cold, distant and aggressive at some moments without realizing it. His partner will likely - justifiably - think that this change is because he’s losing interest due to this new piece of knowledge, but one simple, honest conversation can fix this.

He’s not disinterested because of this, he doesn’t mean to act cold and distant towards her again, he doesn’t wish to drive her away - he wants everything to be alright, he wants something to go right after so many things that went wrong, but fears that it won’t go right for some reason. This continued impression can be harmful for both, so as long as they both have an honest, open conversation about this they can both relax and go into this in an understanding, tender way, where nothing goes wrong and everything is just as they hoped for.

Leiftan with a virgin S/O:

Leiftan really doesn’t want to hurt anyone, especially Guardienne. He’s had his time where he was a terror - except to the angel, for the most part - so when his partner first tells him this information he’s very glad that she not only told him in the first place, but that she also trusts him to understand this and act accordingly. He loves his partner like no tomorrow and is determined to make sure that she knows it, so he readily listens to any concerns she may have and openly talks about this if that’s what she needs to feel comfortable.

In a way, he’ll sort of know prior that she never had sex before - they’re something along the lines of soulmates, so if anything he’ll just have that odd bit of knowing without actually knowing.

Regardless, he’s ready to approach this topic at any time, in any way she wants. He knows how to be gentle, there’s no way he’s not going to be attentive throughout the process of taking her virginity, and he’s willing to do basically anything she needs of him at any time.

He will talk to his partner about this beforehand as well, making sure to stress to her that her comfort matters to him, and that he’ll do anything she needs him to do, even if it means backing off and waiting to try again another day. If she isn’t comfortable, then he isn’t either.

Overall, this facet of information doesn’t effect many things in their life - they still act the same, do the same things, feel the same way for each other. The only difference is that Leiftan will be sure to be that much more comforting and attentive in he moment if that’s what she needs. Leiftan loves his partner dearly and will be just fine with this information, but he doesn’t feel he needs to stress too much that he’ll do anything for her. They have a special bond - she already knows he’ll do anything for her.

Lance with a virgin S/O:

Like Nevra, Lance has likely had quite a bit of experience with sex in the past - including being the first time for some women if that’s what they chose - but none of that is recent.

When he learns of this information, he doesn’t care much. He’s completely fine with her being a virgin - everyone once was before their first time - so he keeps a level head about it and is sure to listen to anything she feels she needs to say.

Lance’s only concern will be if he feels that he can control any impulses during the moment. He’s a relatively feral man - mostly due to his draconic instincts, but also since he feels emotions very deeply - so he believes that, in theory, it would be relatively easy for him to be a bit more aggressive than he should be.

This is why, of all the guys written here, Lance is most likely to talk about this subject with his partner with his own concerns regarding himself. He knows there’s a possibility that he may not be her ideal in the moment, but he doesn’t overthink and have an existential crisis about it that could cause more harm than good (*looking at you, Nevra*). Lance will be sure his partner knows that it’s possible for him to get caught up in the moment and forget to be gentle, so he’ll tell her that if she’s at all feeling uncomfortable, hesitant, in need of comfort / reassurance / affection, anything at all, just tell him. He’s not going to be disappointed, he’s not going to be angry or upset, this won’t turn his interest away from her - he will listen and be as patient as she needs him to be. He knows it’s possible for her to decide in the moment that she’s not ready, he understands that and doesn’t hold it against her, and even if he’s aching to have her, this is something that he will not debate - if she wants him to stop, be more affectionate, be a bit more cautious about the manner in which he touches her, etc. he will do as she wishes. He just wants her to be comfortable and know that he cares.

However, if she tells him that she’s a virgin before they’re anywhere close to having sex, Lance will take it upon himself to change his daily manner with her a bit. He’ll be more attentive to anything she needs, he’ll be a bit gentler with his touches, he’ll be a bit more transparent with his emotions and affections for her. It’s not that he’s trying to entice her into sleeping with him sooner, he just feels that he should be more obvious to the fact that he’s willing to treat her differently if she needs it, and in this case he feels that he’s showing he’s happy to treat her in a more tender manner.

Of course, his partner may notice his slight change of manner and think that his opinion of her has changed a bit, and she may confront him about this. She may think that he feels he needs to treat her softer or be more attentive - like she’s suddenly a glass doll that he could break if not careful, and she’ll be quick to point out that she is - in fact - none of that. He’ll immediately realize and understand her reasoning for this, and he’ll be quick to tell her that he doesn’t think that at all; sex can be emotional and messy, and while she may think she won’t need any reassurance, that may change in the moment. Everyone is different during their first time, some people do end up needing reassurance and some don’t - he just wants her to know that if, per chance, she does end up needing him to do anything different, he can provide that and he’ll be happy to provide it. If he’s in a relationship with her then she truly means a lot to him - I can’t imagine Lance in a mere casual relationship at this point - so he’s going to make sure that he acts appropriately in every way, and if he’s not acting appropriate to her standards then she needs to tell him so he knows. He’s not someone to break his back to please someone, but his partner will hold a special place in his heart that he won’t want to lose, and he realizes that no relationship is perfect so it will take listening and compromise to work, so he’d likely be just fine with making any changes to help her feel more comfortable.

On another note - there’s a bit of a... carnal change that takes place within him. Knowing that he’ll be the one to take her virginity will spark a bit of a territorial streak within him. She’ll be his, only his, no one else will have ever touched her in the ways he has. This won’t make him obsessive and controlling with who’s near her, who she talks to or anything, but there’ll be a special loyalty that he has for her thereafter (however, I can image he’s a bit territorial with her regarding certain people depending on if they seem romantically interested in her and his past relations with them). He won’t really treat her differently, if anything he’ll just be a bit more obvious with being protective about her, but he’ll definitely feel the change within him when he suddenly has overwhelming urges to be around her and have her in his arms. After all, being a dragon means that he’ll be quite possessive at times - especially knowing that he’ll forever hold a special place in his precious gem’s heart from this.

These are somewhat short since there’s three of them together, but I hope you like them despite the length! I suppose this post is a good comparison on how I write the three different men, since I had a bit of a hard time writing for Nevra and Leiftan (especially Leiftan - I feel he’s very straightforward with this) whereas I could easily add another couple bulletpoints for Lance (but I didn’t want to make one headcanon incredibly long while the others were short). This, again, was my first time writing for Nevra, and I’ve only written Leiftan a few times prior as well, so they may be a bit out of character but I think I have them well written.

Thanks for requesting!

Have a request? Ask them here!

But first, please read the rules list for asks!

#Eldarya #Eldarya ane #eldarya nevra #Eldarya nevra ane #Eldarya leiftan #eldarya leiftan ane #Eldarya Lance #Eldarya Lance ane #Eldarya nevra headcanons #eldarya leiftan headcanons #eldarya lance headcanons #fenristheorem writing #askfenris

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strideofpride · 3 years ago

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Have u watched the 1st episode of the reboot? If yes, what are your thoughts on it?

Sorry for the wait anon!!! I wanted to answer this once I watched it and I had to work a full day. Anyway, under the cut, cause I surprisingly had a lot to say:

-From a production standpoint, wow, Safran was really not kidding. They got that HBO money for real!!! But tbh there was wayyyyy too many needle drops. Like not every scene needs background music you know?

-My favorite characters by far are Zoya and Obie. Obie's been getting a lot of hate in the GG tag all day, but I personally found him to be really genuine. He seemed like he actually cared about things, he wasn't just doing performative activism. He also wasn't creepy towards Zoya at all, didn't take a peak when she undressed (I love Dan but...he did not pass that test), never made a move on her while he was with Julien.

-I'm not really getting romantic vibes from them though (even though I know they're going there) and don't ship them...but I will say that they kinda were giving me platonic!dair vibes anyway? Like they clearly just get each other on a level no one else does, they have common interests, they were brought together by someone they both really care about (Julien/Serena), and, well, to be frank, Whitney Peak and Eli Brown are the best of the "teen" actors, just like Penn and Leighton were.

-And yeah, a lot of the acting wasn't amazing (the two male teachers and Evan Mock really made me cringe...and Jordan Alexander was wooden sometimes as well) but neither was the acting on the CW show so. If you're expecting award winning performances from Gossip Girl, you're definitely in the wrong place.

-Aki and Audrey are by far the least interesting to me. I feel no chemistry between them at all or between either of them and Max tbh. Now Max and Luna on the other hand...their two second interaction had more chemistry than the Max x Audrey x Aki triad the whole episode. (I thought going in I would ship Monet and Luna but I'm not getting those vibes at all).

-(Also I think it really says something that the white/white passing cast members were the ones getting most of the attention from the fandom, when it's really Zoya and Julien's show. GG fandom already returning to its old ways I see).

-Also like...I do not understand at all why Julien and Obie were ever together (or Audrey and Aki). And even when they tried to explain it, it was all telling, no showing. Like the OG did a really great job of showing us why Nate and Blair were still together, even though they weren't happy. The reboot didn't do that at all. (Sorry, I didn't want to compare them too much but I feel like that was worth pointing out)

-Also Julien and Zoya's whole secrecy plot makes no sense to me either, but Gossip Girl's gonna Gossip Girl.

-And finally, I have to say, I still find the idea of the teachers being Gossip Girl really interesting. Like I think if done right (but I mean, look at what show I'm talking about lmao), there's good commentary to be made about how adults police children and the over interest they take in minor's sex lives. Also the show still paints the teachers very sympathetically, so it doesn't feel like a huge classist issue like the OG became (but probably just give it time unfortunately). And I'm glad they clearly know a lot of what they're doing is wrong (like how that one teacher pointed out he probably should've been arrested for taking that picture of Obie and Zoya), but they can't help themselves/feel they have no other choice. Almost Jenny Humphrey descent into darkness vibes. I feel like it could be done really well??? But you know, I know I'm putting too much hope into Safran lol.

So yeah, that's what I thought!

35 notes · View notes

jessikahathaway · 4 years ago

Text

Into Eternity - FINAL

So, oh my gosh this is actually happening???

I have been writing this story for three years and it honestly has gotten me through so much? I love these characters and to give them an ending has brought me so many emotions. Thank you to everyone who has read and has loved these characters as much as I have.

Now buckle up, for the finale.

Pairing: Jimin X Reader

Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Royalty!AU

Words: 8,877

Warnings: Attempted Suicide (it isn't graphic, but it's there so please be aware of that), Explicit Sexual Content, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Unprotected Sex (She preggie, but y'all be careful), Creampie, Dirty Talk. Birthing Scene (Not terribly graphic but just be aware), the fluff we've all been waiting forrrrr! (If I forgot anything please do let me know!)

It had been a week since the fight with Morgana and your death.

Jimin hadn’t been coping well at all.

Taehyung entered the bedroom where they had set you after the fight. Father Jin redressed you and washed your hair, but other than that you hadn’t moved or breathed. Nothing to note that you were alive. Father Jin had resigned himself to his room and hadn’t come out. Jungkook was training for hours on end and Taehyung was too busy trying to keep Jimin alive to do much else.

Hoseok had sent for more guards and they arrived soon after. Although they weren’t allowed inside the palace. No one was to come near, Jimin would have them beheaded.

Taehyung saw the same sight he’d seen for the last week. Jimin, at your bedside, waiting.

“Sire,” Taehyung announced his entrance.

“Taehyung,” Jimin answered softly.

“I brought you something to drink and a bit of porridge, will you eat it?” He asked, looking down at the small mugs in his hands.

“Yes, I’ll eat,” Jimin answered.

Turning around Taehyung sighed as he saw the dark bags under his eyes. The look of exhaustion that filled his frame was overwhelmingly sad. Taehyung knew his friend, and he was a shadow of himself. As if he were slowly dying without you with him.

But Taehyung pressed on, a smile coming across his features.

“Here you are,” Taehyung said, setting the mugs in his hands.

Jimin ate slowly, methodically. As if it was a chore to be doing so.

Taehyung wondered if he tasted it, his eyes were so devoid. It was like he was a skeleton walking around. No joints or ligaments, just bones clacking together. The way he moved was awkward and ungraceful, nothing like the Prince he knew. One thing was for certain.

He missed you.

“Jimin, do you want to take a bath?” Taehyung asked, looking at his friend’s appearance.

“No,” he said quietly.

“It’ll take a few minutes, please,” Taehyung urged.

“I’d rather not right now,” Jimin almost whispered.

“It’s okay, perhaps later,” Taehyung gave in, knowing that it wouldn’t happen later either.

“Taehyung,” Jimin’s voice was stronger this time.

“Yes, sire?”

“Do you think she’s really dead?”

“I don’t-”

“Perhaps this is what they wanted for me. To suffer without her,” he said bitterly.

“Don’t think so lowly of your ancestor, he tried to do what he could for you both,” Taehyung admonished.

“Perhaps I should die as well, join my beloved where we can be free together,” Jimin said, laying his head down on the bed, and gazing at you with misty eyes.

“Jimin!” Taehyung yelled.

Jimin flinched but didn’t move.

“I don’t think this is what Y/N would’ve wanted for you. She wouldn’t want to watch you starve yourself. She would want you to lie here and wait for something that might not happen. She’d want you to go out and live your life. To go out and be happy. Jimin, please listen to me. The way you’re treating yourself isn’t anything like what Y/N would’ve wanted for you. She loved you so much, and wanted nothing but the best for you. So for you to disrespect her wishes like this... It makes me sad, Jimin, truly it does.”

“So you do think she’s dead,” Jimin whispered.

“Jimin,” Taehyung said.

“Get out,” Jimin demanded softly.

“Jimin listen.”

“Get out Taehyung!” Jimin screamed, standing up.

Taehyung didn’t waste anymore time, slamming the door before he left.

It was the day of your funeral...

Jimin had fought tooth and nail to make sure he never saw this day, but here it was. It had been two weeks since your death. And Father Jin said it was time to lay you to rest. Jimin had denied it at first, but now, there was an eerie calm that settle over the palace. Jimin was silent, save for the few words he spoke to Taehyung. But other than that, no words left the man.

“We are here today to lay to rest a soul who has touched all of us in many ways,” Father Jin began.

You were laying in your coffin, beautiful as the day Jimin first saw you. The maids had braided gorgeous ribbons in your hair, and graced your face with the smallest amount of makeup, enhancing that natural beauty you had. Jimin’s eyes were filled with tears as he looked at you. His beloved bride, going so soon. And it was his fault you were dead. Because he couldn’t protect you.

“Jimin,” Taehyung whispered, nudging his friend.

“I’m fine,” he whispered back, wiping his eyes gingerly.

“Lady Y/N was a tender soul. Someone who wanted nothing but to share love and happiness wherever she went. I had the pleasure of knowing her, and I will forever miss her and her laughter. She is with God now, and I will take comfort in knowing that. May God rest her soul.”

Father Jin stepped away from the casket, Namjoon taking his place.

“Lady Y/N was fearless, and bright. Always willing to lend a hand to those in need. I failed her a guard and I will forever be unworthy. But as I continue on with life I will live for her, I will live with her in mind so that no one will ever suffer the same fate. I will protect the Royal family for the rest of my days, and will forever ask for forgiveness that I wasn’t able to protect them this time. Lady Y/N, I am so sorry. May you grace us with your love and kindness, so that we may forgive ourselves as well. You will be missed, dearly,” Namjoon said.

The rest of the proceedings went on, yet Jimin felt numb.

You lay there before him, so close yet out of reach. His soul yearned to reach out for yours, longing to touch you, to hold you. To bring you into his embrace and care for you as you did for him. When it was finally his turn to save you, he failed...

“Y/N was a beautiful person,” Taehyung began.

“She was smart, funny and a true joy to be around. I remember the first time I met her. She was outspoken, yet, in the best way. She challenged all of us to be better. To think more, to be more. She challenged me to be the best version of myself, and all I can say, is that I will continue to be the best person I can be. I will remember her fondly, and I will always be grateful for what she has done for me and my friends. May God rest her soul,” he repeated.

Yoongi spoke next, saying little but it was enough. Although Jimin still felt as though something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong.

Soon, it was Jimin’s turn to speak.

He felt awkward as he went to the front to speak. He took a deep breath in and imagined you, holding his hand. The warmth that suffused him gave him the strength to speak.

“Y/N was... everything to me. Never have I loved like I loved her. She was beautiful, caring, sweet and... maddening. She challenged everything I knew about myself. Everything I ever thought I knew, and she changed me. Y/N changed me for the better. She made me believe that I could do anything, be anything. No matter what I thought about myself, she always believed in me. More than I did. Y/N was knowledgeable. She loved to read, I promised her a library. That way she could read without me getting in her way, I had a way of interrupting her at the most important part of the book she’d tell me...” Jimin laughed, tears coming down his cheeks. “I love her so much, even now I love her so dearly and so fiercely that this all feels wrong. To be burying her feels like a foreign concept to me that I cannot accept. I-I... don’t want this to be it.”

“Y/N, I love you. Please forgive me,” Jimin said, taking out a vial.

It was poison. Jimin had planned to end his life here. Perhaps that was what had felt so wrong the whole time. The fact that he knew he’d be ending his life in front of his friends brought him no comfort. He only felt guilt, but he couldn’t bear another day without you here. It wasn’t feasible to him. It was everything he could do to stand right now.

“Jimin no!”

“I love you, Y/N,” he whispered, bringing the vial to his lips.

“I love you too,” a soft voice answered.

Before Jimin could turn around, Namjoon and Jungkook tackled him to the ground, taking the vial from his hands.

“No!” Jimin fought back, thrashing around like a child.

“Sire please!” Jungkook said, reaching for the vial.

“Jimin?”

Everyone froze.

Jimin looked up to see you, his beloved bride, sitting up in your casket.

“Y/N?” he whispered. Unable to believe his eyes.

“Jimin? What’s going on?” you asked, looking around. From your standpoint, you felt like you’d been asleep for a very long time. As if you’d be put under a sleeping spell or something along those lines. But now, you felt better than ever, as if you were refreshed for the first time in a long while.

“Y/N...” Jimin said, looking at you in disbelief.

“Jimin, what am I doing in here?” you asked, placing your hands on the side of the coffin.

“My love,” Jimin said, standing up and coming to your side. You looked up and smiled, so glad to see him.

“Hi,” you said, placing your hand on his cheeks. He’d been crying, you could tell.

“Y/N,” he whimpered, wrapping you up in his arms and cradling you to his chest.

“Jimin?” you asked, trying to push him back so you could look at him. But he held you firm.

“My darling, I thought I lost you,” he said, tears falling down his cheeks so freely.

“I don’t understand, the last time I saw you I was... How am I here?” you asked, looking around.

“It doesn’t matter, my love, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re here now,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around you.

“But Jimin,” you started.

“Shhh,” he shushed, tangling his fingers in your hair. “I love you, so much,” he said, tilting your head up.

“I love you too,” you said back, but before you could say much else his lips were on yours. Jimin wasted no time, pulling you from the coffin without much difficulty. Jimin had you in his arms and like hell he was ever going to let you go again.

Slowly he pulled away and let his head rest against yours.

“Can you stand?” he asked, placing your feet on the ground.

“I think so,” you answered. Carefully, you took a step, almost falling to the ground if it wasn’t for Jimin’s strong arms keeping you up.

“Maybe not just yet darling, let me carry you,” he said, sweeping you up into his arms.

“Jimin!” you gasped, hanging onto his neck, not wanting to fall.

“I’ve got you,” he said, starting to carry you back towards the palace. The rest of the men there did nothing but watch as Jimin carried you in his arms.

“I never thought that this marriage would work out,” Taehyung said softly, looking at the disappearing silhouette of you and Jimin.

“Well, never say never I guess,” Namjoon said back, crossing his arms.

“I’m glad it worked out, Jimin deserves to be happy,” Jungkook commented.

“They both deserve it,” Father Jin said, smiling.

Your coronation was creeping up on you.

You and Jimin both would be crowned King and Queen of Arcane Kingdom. The people would be yours to govern and yours to care for. They were now your responsibility and duty. It weighed heavily on you, the stress of being a Royal. But you didn’t let it show, because you had been given a second chance at life another try.

No one gets that lucky.

But you did. And you weren’t going to waste it.

After everything that had happened, you were still so glad that you were with Jimin. Able to call him yours. It made your heart sing knowing he was your partner in all of this, your husband and truest love.

A knocking at the door shook you from your thoughts.

“Lady Y/N,” Father Jin said from the other side of the door.

“You can come in Father,” you said, putting your hairbrush down as you turned to face the door.

“I’m here as you requested,” he said, holding his bible and other various things you’d requested.

“Wonderful, I need your help,” you said, moving towards the bed.

Father Jin looked at you with confusion.

“It’s been two months and I haven’t bled yet. I-I was hoping you could find out if I was with child?” You said softly.

Father Jin almost fainted on the spot.

“W-With child? My dearest Y/N are you sure?” He asked coming forward.

“I’ve been having symptoms, the nausea in the morning, wanting weird foods and of course not bleeding but, I just wanted to know. I know if I have the palace physician check and I am pregnant he’ll run and tell Jimin. I want to tell him myself, it’s our possible child,” you said.

Father Jin beamed at you, quickly getting his materials ready.

“It would by my absolute honor my Lady,” he said. You smiled.

He busied himself with usual questions and looking at your stomach.

Finally Father Jin smiled brightly at you.

Biting your lip hard you heard his answer.

“My dear Lady Y/N, congratulations. You’re with child,” he said. Tears burst from you quickly, unable to handle the emotion of the whole situation.

You had been so worried that perhaps Morgana killing you would ruin your chances at having a child with Jimin. And considering you two had been having plenty of intimate moments, it was starting to become a fear.

But now...

Now you’re pregnant. With Jimin’s child.

Everything you’ve ever wanted and more.

“Father Jin,” you cried, hanging onto him so tightly. He pet your head gingerly, making sure you were alright before pulling back.

“Your timeline is correct, you are around two month pregnant,” he said, looking at your stomach with nothing but sheer adoration.

“I’ve been so worried,” you hiccuped.

“It’s alright Y/N, you are pregnant. And may the Lord bless you and your unborn child,” he said softly.

“Can you please keep this between us?” You asked.

“I won’t tell a soul,” he agreed.

“Thank you Father, truly, thank you so much.”

—

You were incredibly giddy for the rest of the week. Everyone had taken notice of your spunk and lively attitude. The stoic Yoongi even asked what had you all excited.

You just brushed it off, telling them you’d read a really good book or just ate something delicious. You wanted to tell Jimin so badly. But he was nowhere to be found no matter how hard you looked. The only time you were with him was when he crawled into bed with you early in the morning. Wrapping himself around you and keeping you close to him.

But he was always gone before you woke up.

You knew he was getting ready for the Royal coronation coming up soon, but it still made you a little sad. The distance.

However, you had planned it perfectly.

Jimin’s favorite lace night dress was wrapped around your body. A soft pink dressing gown over top. The man enjoyed unwrapping you like a present.

It was everything you could do not to just run to him in his study and proclaim your pregnancy to him then and there. But you oh so loved the look on his face when you gave him surprises.

Teasing little hints.

It was already late into the night, but you were determined to stay up and see your husband. It was moderately boring in your bedroom, alone, but it wouldn’t be lonely for long...

Just as you thought about going out on the balcony for some fresh air, you heard Jimin enter the room. You hadn’t seen him awake in a few days so you rushed over immediately to see him.

“Jimin!” You said, rushing to bring him into your arms.

Jimin smiled, looking exhausted, but happier now that he got to see you.

“Y/N, it’s late. What are you doing up?” He asked, kissing the top of your head with such tenderness it made your heart ache.

“Wanted to see you,” you mumbled, cheek pressed against his shoulder.

“Well, you’ve seen me. But I think it’s time for bed,” he said, removing his tunic and draping it along the chair of your vanity.

“Can we talk first? There is something important I have to tell you,” you said, taking his hand in yours.

“Is something wrong?” He asked, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.

“Just sit down,” you said, moving him towards the bed. Jimin sat down heavily, looking up at you with a gentle smile.

“Alright my love, what did you want to discuss,” he said, rubbing his face.

He was utterly worn out, and you could see it on his face. But you knew what you were about to say would make it all worth it. It would be okay.

“Jimin, I want you to know something,” you swallowed hard. Trying to keep your emotions from becoming too much.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yes, I’m fine Jimin. But, I want you to know how much I love you. How much I adore waking up in the morning next to you. And how much I love being your wife,” you said, bringing your hand to his cheek softly.

“I love you too,” he said, a smile appearing on his weary features.

“Jimin, I-I...” you stammered, trying to find the words to get them out. Jimin frowned at your flustered attitude. Normally you could tell him anything, he wondered what had gotten you so worked up.

“Jimin,” you said, walking closer. His sparkling eyes looked up at you and you so hoped the babe in your stomach would inherit those beautiful eyes.

“Jimin I’m with child,” you said, bringing his hand to your stomach.

Jimin’s whole demeanor changed instantaneously.

“What?” He croaked, looking up into your eyes with so much hope.

“Father Jin confirmed it,” you said.

“Y-You’re really pregnant?” He asked, looking at your stomach with a multitude of emotions running across his face.

“Yes,” you said.

“Oh my God, Y/N,” he cried, bringing you into his arms. Big fat tears were rolling down his face, catching in your hair and dressing gown.

“It’s okay, Jimin it’s alright,” you said, holding him tightly.

“I’ve waited for so long to hear those words from you,” he whimpered.

“I was worried that... possibly I couldn’t after-you know. But, I-I know they’re healthy, I can feel it,” you said brightly.

“I know they are too, my love. You’ll care for them so well, they’re going to be so perfect. You’re perfect,” he said, bringing his lips to yours gently.

Smiling into the kiss you attempted to deepen it, longing for your husband's touch. But Jimin quickly pulled away.

“I’m so exhausted my love, would it be okay if I just held you tonight? Both of you?” He asked, looking down at your stomach with so much love it made your heart stammer.

“Of course, Jimin, that’s always okay,” you said.

You both went to bed, sharing innocent pecks and warm words of love for each other.

It was so perfect.

—

Being pregnant was rather grueling task, you’d found out.

There were the weird food cravings. The palace chefs could hardly keep up with you. Then the constant nausea that had plagued you and often made you miss out on certain meals. And the aching of your back and feet was another problem.

But the love you felt for the being inside of you right now, was more than you could’ve ever dreamed.

Although, there was another symptom of your pregnancy that had been particularly hard to handle.

You were ravenous for your husbands touch.

Except, he hadn’t really wanted to do anything like that with you for a while... the last time you two had been intimate was when you made this baby. And that was five months ago.

Now that you were coming into a different stage of your pregnancy, everything was getting harder. Clothing yourself, putting on shoes. It was all so taxing and you mainly wanted to rest.

Unless Jimin was there.

In which case you wanted him to ravish you until the morning came.

But, for some reason, he didn’t feel the same.

Of course he loved you, this wasn’t something you doubted. But he was very busy and you were already pregnant so what was the point in engaging in those kinds of activities if the end goal was achieved... right?

You knew Jimin loved you, he said it and showed it often. But you wished he would take you to bed and pleasure you. Let you have as much of his cum as you wanted. However, something was stopping him.

And you were determined to find out what.

Walking through the palace halls you found your husband admiring the gardens out in front of the castle. Jimin loved seeing the flowers blooming and flourishing with colors. Made him feel light inside.

You came up beside him and looked at the flowers with him. He smiled at you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and bringing you close.

The two of you stood like that, in silence for a few moments before you decided to speak.

“Jimin,” you said, keeping your eyes trained outside.

“Yes my love?” He answered, looking at you with pure joy.

“You seem distant lately,” you said, wrapping your arm around his waist.

“Have I? I thought we’d been spending quite a lot of time together... although if you’re feeling neglected I can see if I have more time to spare-”

“I-uh... I’ve noticed that we haven’t been... intimate since we conceived and I was just wondering, if you simply weren’t attracted to me being like this? Or if it’s because we’re already pregnant so there’s no need to try anymore or, um, something else maybe?”

Jimin’s face looked mortified as he tried to gather his scrambled mind and unprepared thoughts.

“Y/N, love no! Of course not! I absolutely adore being intimate with you! And not attracted to you? I-I can’t hardly control myself when I’m around you. Pregnant and swollen with my child,” he said, almost growling out the last part.

“Then why Jimin? Why haven’t you been touching me? Letting me touch you! What’s going on?” You asked, wondering what was causing the distance between your husband and you.

“T-the palace physician warned me about being with you like that, I don’t want to hurt you or the baby,” he said softly.

“But it’s not dangerous-Father Jin was encouraging me to, well as much as he would encourage someone to be intimate...” you said. “He said we should be... with one another as much as we can. It’s good for us to relieve the stress and I’ll never complain about you showing your love to me and my love for you.”

“But, what if I go too hard? What if I, I don’t know, make the baby come early? Or what if-”

“Jimin, my love, these are a lot of what ifs. Not a lot of what will... Nothing will happen to me or the child. That I can promise you,” you said, holding your distended stomach with affection. “You’d never hurt us.”

The young King looked so torn. Like he truly didn’t know what to do.

“I’m just... I’m worried about you,” he said softly, resting his forehead against yours.

“I’m tough,” you said, squeezing his hand gently.

“I know, God I know how strong you are. More than fit to be the Queen of this Kingdom, my wife, my equal... But, carrying a child is no small feat,” he said, brushing your hair off your face.

“It isn’t but I’m not doing it alone,” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You’ve been with me every step of the way. We had rocky beginnings, but look at where we are now. Look at how much we’ve overcome and how much we will overcome in the future. It’s incredible, Jimin. You are the ruler that destroyed the witch Morgana,” you said.

“Actually, you’re the one who dealt the killing blow on that one, I just get all the credit cause I’m the King. Unfair if you ask me,” Jimin laughed lightly.

“What I’m saying is, you’re so brave, stubborn and wickedly smart. Surely you can think of a way in which we can be intimate and it not harm me or the babe?” You said, biting your lip.

“Don’t do that, I’ve been having dreams about your sweet mouth,” he groaned.

“Mmm, have you? Perhaps I should give it to you then, hmm?” You teased.

Jimin was a rather dominant person, but you’d discovered that sometimes he likes to be pushed around in bed. Told what to do and to be praised. It wasn’t something you’d been entirely good at to start, but, with a little practice you’d gotten the hang of it.

“My love,” he croaked.

“Jimin, I know you. I know how careful and gentle you can be. I’ll tell you if anything hurts or if I’m uncomfortable. But please, please take me to bed,” you begged.

Finally, it seemed you broke through. Because soon, you were being practically dragged down the hallway. Jimin’s grip on your wrist was tight, but not enough to hurt. You smirked as he hauled you into the bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind the two of you.

“God, look at you,” he murmured, coming forward to place his hands on your swollen belly. “So beautiful, so perfect carrying my child.”

“All yours,” you agreed, humming as his lips touched your neck.

“And I’m yours,” he said softly.

“Take this off,” you pleaded, tugging at his shirt with disdain. Giving you a coy grin, he pulled the shirt off and threw it on the floor. You ran your hands over his beautiful body, teasingly pinching his nipple, causing him to flinch.

“Little sprite, I’ll teach you to tease me,” he growled. Wetness pooled between your legs. Jimin came forward, finally connecting your lips.

Kissing Jimin was something you’d never tire of. You were certain. The way his plush lips moved over yours with reckless abandon make you squirm. His mouth captured your own, pulling you into a romantic embrace as the pair of you shared your breath.

“Jimin,” you whispered as he pulled away.

“What is it my love? What do you desire?” He asked, moving his lips along your jawline.

“Whatever you’ll give me, I want it all,” you pleaded.

“My my, so greedy. What a greedy Queen I have,” he tutted. You whined at his tone, wanting nothing more for the clothes between you to be removed.

“I just want you, only you,” you pleaded.

“You have me my love, all of me,” he said, kissing you softly. You wrapped your arms around his neck, cradling his head. You felt the back of your bed against your knees, forcing you to sit down while Jimin kissed you with such ferocity it made your poor core clench tightly around nothing.

“And you have all of me in return,” you smiled. Jimin pushed you onto your back, making you stare at the ceiling. Your heart was hammering so hard in your chest, you could feel it in your throat.

“I-Is it okay if I pleasure you? With my mouth?” He asked, looking at you beneath his long lashes. You smiled and brushed his hair from his face gently, but this was not without difficulty, you swollen tummy proving to be an obstacle.

“Mmm, that does sound nice. But, you have had me wait five months for you. I’m slightly tempted to skip the foreplay and go right for the main event,” you mused, watching as Jimin’s eyes inflated slightly. You smiled at his obvious desire for you, before you sat up and undid the ties at the front of your gown. Jimin watched as your chest relaxed, breasts bigger than they were before you’d gotten pregnant.

“I-If you’re wet enough,” he said, licking his lips.

“Why don’t you check?” You said, peeling your dress from your shoulders and easing the fabric down. Jimin moved so you could wiggle out of the offending material and lay naked on the bed. He was astounded and slightly concerned that you hadn’t been wearing any undergarments underneath.

“Oh my beautiful wife, how lucky am I to have someone like you...” he trailed off, gazing at your center with wanton desire.

“I’m just as lucky, if not more so,” you smiled, tugging on his ashy locks, earning you a warning grunt in response.

“A husband who neglects his wife for months on end? Surely you jest with me,” he chuckled sadly.

“You are more than attentive. Sometimes smothering, but never neglectful. Jimin listening to the palace physician isn’t wrong. He just happens to think he knows everything while Father Jin has had actual experience with pregnancy and birth. By the way, he will be delivering our child, not that ridiculous palace physician. I’d rather not have him near me when I’m giving birth,” you huffed, pouting slightly.

“Oh? I see, who else did you want there while you deliver? I know I should’ve asked this but-”

“You, Father Jin to deliver and Jungkook as well as Taehyung. Yoongi and Namjoon, and... Hoseok,” you said pondering for a moment.

“Those are all men, Y/N,” Jimin reminded, pouting from above you.

“And? Hoseok is our Godfather for the child, I believe he should be there. Jungkook is good in a crisis and also has knowledge of pregnancy and birth from his mother. Taehyung is such a dear friend, I certainly want him there. Yoongi is always calm and collected, and Namjoon would just feel left out if I didn’t include him!”

“You missed one,” he frowned.

“Of course I want you there silly. It’s your fault I’m like this, so you’re going to be there for the whole thing, no stepping out and no leaving me, understood?” You asked, raising a brow at him. Jimin just nodded.

“It’s not just my fault you’re like this, I don’t ever recall you saying no,” he snarked.

“I’m also not saying no now, if we could get back on track?” You asked, bringing his hand to your throbbing center. Jimin seemed to get the message as he rubbed his fingers along your slit, collecting your slick between the pads of his fingers and your skin.

“My love, so ready for me,” he murmured, coming in closer to kiss your neck. You let out a sigh of pleasure, running your hands down his back, scratching along the skin gently, causing goosebumps to rise in your wake. He groaned as you gripped his ass in your palms, causing him to rut forward like a pup in heat. You smirked at his enthusiasm, squeezing once more before he whined against your skin.

“Oh!” You gasped as he entered one finger inside your tight heat. A soft groan came from his cherry red lips, causing you to clamp down on the digit inside of you. Jimin moved his finger gently, stretching your hole out carefully. Everything he did, he did with purpose. It made your heart stammer in your chest as you could feel another finger slipping in next to the first one.

“So tight,” he growled, pumping in and out of you with a delicious tempo that had your hips grinding down against his hand. “You’re soaking the bed my darling.”

“I-I can’t help it, you feel too good,” you moaned.

“Mm, you sure I can’t have a taste? Just a little bit wouldn’t hurt,” he whispered against the shell of your ear. You wanted so badly to encourage his devilish mouth, but you gripped his wrist and forced him to stop moving those dangerous fingers inside of you.

He looked worried for a moment. But you smoothed your thumb over his brow.

“I can’t wait any more, please don’t make me wait,” you whined, humping against his fingers. “Give it to me, please. Fill me up.”

Jimin’s eyes turned dark as he pulled his hand away from your center. Watching with rapt attention you saw him take his sticky digits and put them in his mouth, sucking lewdly on your arousal. Jimin made a show of it. Licking and sucking on his fingers, trying to get every last drop of your essence off of his fingers. He was also proving that he could pleasure you with his mouth if you’d only let him.

“You want my cock? Want it so bad huh? My beautiful Queen, you want it? Huh? Tell me why I should give it to you?” He said, eyes glazing over as you presented yourself on all fours for him.

“Because, I’ve been so good for you. I’m carrying your baby, so pregnant and full, but not full enough. I need more, more of your cum Jimin. Want more of it leaking from me, please, remind me how you got me pregnant. Please, won’t you give me your cock? Your cum? Please, I want it so badly,” you pleaded.

Jimin’s eyes darkened further. He knew you were good at begging, it was one of his favorite things to teach you, because you learned so quickly what he liked. And he would never be able to deny such an earnest request.

“If that’s what you want my love, then you’ll have it. Have me,” he agreed, moving off the bed to push his pants and underwear to the ground before coming back to the bed. You felt his presence behind you, smoothing over your back gently. “Is this position okay? Or do you need something different?” He asked, kissing your shoulder.

“This is okay, I’m comfortable,” you encouraged. “Now, fuck me.”

Jimin needed no further words as he sank into you slowly for the first time in months. The pair of you breathed out heavy sighs as you finally felt the fullness you’d been craving for weeks. Jimin choked on a moan when you flexed your walls around him, making him buck into you a little harsher than expected.

“Sorry! I haven’t-Since we haven’t been doing anything I haven’t even pleasured myself, I haven’t had the time, you feel so good around me, fuck,” he moaned out, gripping your hips firmly.

“It’s okay, I won’t last long. I’ve missed you so much,” you moaned, your fists tightening in the bed sheets beneath you.

“Oh shit,” he growled, bucking into you again, building a steady rhythm that had your chest jolting almost painfully. Your core was soaking, and Jimin wasn’t letting up. He was fucking into you so hard some of your arousal was falling down your thighs.

“Jimin, harder,” you pleaded, head falling into the mattress. Your husband didn’t have to be told twice as he started rutting into your wet heat with vigor.

“I’ve been thinking about this everyday since you told me you were pregnant,” he snarled, pulling all the way out just to force himself back in once more. You cried out when his fingers found your clit, causing you to grind back against him. The air rushed from his lungs as he watched you practically use him for your own pleasure.

“Everyday? Then why didn’t you do anything?” You whined, bouncing back against him harshly. Jimin swallowed hard as he tried to stave off his looming orgasm.

“Because the physician... I was worried I’d hurt you or the baby, like I said earlier. But now that I know this is safe, don’t expect to be able to walk for a while,” he warned, pulling on your sensitive nipples gingerly. You cried out into the mattress when milk started to leak down Jimin’s hand. He watched as the pearly white substance soaked the sheets beneath you like your arousal had earlier.

“Fuck! Jimin, keep going please!” You begged when he got distracted by your chest practically flooding the bed.

“Have you not been expressing the milk? Doesn’t it hurt?” He asked.

“Yes, it aches so much during the day and I’m so sensitive when I try to sleep. Sometimes I wake up and my nightdress is soaked from milk,” you whined, trying to reach for him so he would keep pounding into you.

“Mm, since I didn’t get to have a taste of your pussy... Maybe you’ll let me have something else instead,” he teased, licking the milk off of his hands and groaning when it hit his tastebuds.

“More, please more!” You begged. Jimin noticed your frantic bouncing and eased you into a spooning position. He was still throbbing inside of you, but you could feel his head come to your shoulder, placing soft kisses against it.

“Let me drink from you, it must hurt my darling. So full and heavy with milk for our child, but they can share, surely?” He teased, kissing the side of your breast while giving shallow thrusts to your womanhood.

“You can have it, whatever you want as long as you keep fucking me. Please, Jimin, I’m so close,” you whimpered. Sensing your urgency Jimin started his brutal pace back up. You cried out in bliss when his mouth met your sensitive nipple. Jimin gently suckled at your chest, causing more milk to enter his mouth.

He groaned at the flavor and gave a few sharp ruts into your clenching pussy. You were besides yourself with pleasure, almost in tears at all the stimulation.

Jimin wasn’t doing much better. Five months without even masturbating was proving to be his end far too quickly.

“Y/N, I’m going to cum. Are you close?” He asked, reaching down to push at your clit gently.

“Yes! Right there, pleasepleaseplease! Jimin,” you cried. Your walls tightened beyond belief, causing Jimin to freeze in his thrusting. He watched your face as you fell apart for him, causing him to reach his end as well. A cry of your name on his lips as ropes of hot cum painted your walls milky white. Jimin shuddered in overstimulation as you continued to clench yourself around his spent cock.

The pair of you lay there, clutching each other in the afterglow as you tried to catch your breath. Jimin decided to move first, pulling his still twitching length from your abused center. You watched as he stood on wobbly legs and came back with a towel to clean you up with. A soft smile took over your features as you spread your legs easily for him.

After he was satisfied, you opened your arms for him. Jimin moved forward without hesitation, wrapping your exhausted body with his own. He kissed the top of your head, then around your jaw and finally a firm kiss was placed on your lips.

“I love you so much my darling,” he smiled, resting his head on the pillow.

“I love you too, we both do.”

—

You’d never thought that giving birth would be a pleasant experience.

But never in your entire life did you imagine it would hurt this much.

The contractions had started early in the morning. Making you wake Jimin with a frantic push.

“My love what is it?” He asked, sitting up in the bed with a bewildered look on his face.

“Get Father Jin right now,” you demanded, leaning forward to hold your severely swollen stomach. Jimin was out of bed and quickly called the guards to get the Priest from his room as fast as possible.

They yelled back their confirmation before they hurried off. You felt the distinct cramping from your groin and moaned low in pain. Jimin came back over to you, looking at you with worry etched onto his features.

“Do you want anything? Anyone? I’ll call for whatever you need,” he said, taking your shaking hands in his.

“Good morning,” you whispered, giving him a weak smile.

“Good morning,” he smiled back, kissing your knuckles gently.

Soon you were in a different room entirely, getting settled into the blankets and all the people close to you had been summoned.

Jungkook and Taehyung had gotten there first, both excited and ready for the proceedings.

“Lady Y/N! It’s really happening? Oh my gosh! I’m so excited for you,” Jungkook said, coming over to place a gentle kiss on your hand out of respect.

“Thank you Jungkook, how is training the new recruits going?” You asked, trying to distract yourself from the pain.

“Oh that’s all boring! We don’t want to hear about that!” Taehyung said, coming next to you and also kissing your hand.

“Maybe she does my Lord,” Jungkook sneered. You knew the two of them had always had a friendly competition going on. But, right now you shushed them and told them to go sit down.

Hoseok and Namjoon were next, coming in shortly after Taehyung and Jungkook.

“My lady,” Namjoon said, taking to his knee in front of you.

“There’s no need for that right now, Namjoon. How are you? We haven’t had tea in a while, and I fear if this babe comes now we might not for a long while yet,” you teased and Namjoon just smiled as he stood up.

“We can sneak some tea in soon my Lady, leave the child with the King to see how he fares,” he smirked. Jimin was pouting. You knew it without even looking at him.

“I might have to do that,” you smiled. Hoseok came over quickly after, kissing your hand a few times before looking at you with excitement.

“Is there anything you want? Anything you need? I know you’re not supposed to eat anything right now but maybe some water?” He asked.

“It’s so sweet of you to offer, but right now I’m just tired and a little cranky,” you laughed, trying to keep yourself in good spirits.

Hoseok seemed to understand, giving your hand a soft squeeze before walking over to talk with Namjoon and Jungkook.

“Where’s Yoongi? And Father Jin?” You asked, looking around.

“We’re here!” Father Jin said, a bright smile on his face as he escorted a grumpy looking Yoongi through the doorway.

“Yeah, here,” Yoongi said, yawning and scowling at the older man.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” you whispered, reaching out for the stoic man. His resolve quickly melted as he came by and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of your hand.

“I’m sure you’d rather be sleeping now too, but I’m fine. Are you alright?” He asked, looking at you with an intensity you always forgot he possessed.

“Yes, just some contractions right now. My water hasn’t broken yet,” you said. Yoongi nodded and looked at Jimin with a soft smile.

“How are you faring, feeling okay?” He asked, looking at the father to be with kind eyes.

“Nervous, but happy,” he confirmed, taking your hand in his.

“Wonderful,” he yawned, going to sit down and hopefully doze off while you were still in the early stages.

Father Jin gathered everyone up and they all listened attentively to whatever he had to say. The day progressed and your water hadn’t broken yet, but the men all stayed, asking if there was anything you needed, holding your hand if you felt a particularly rough contraction.

But most importantly, Jimin was right by your side the whole time.

When your water did finally break, it was like hell also had broken loose.

It was later, probably afternoon when you felt it happen.

Father Jin was suddenly on his feet demanding towels and hot water for you, as well as some herbs that would help numb the pain as much as they could. Jimin looked panic stricken when you clutched onto his hand.

“It’s okay,” he said softly, brushing your hair away from your face.

“I’m scared,” you whispered, another wave of pain crashing through you without remorse.

“I’m scared too,” he confessed. “But I know you can do it. You’re already the perfect wife, now you’re going to be the perfect mother... Our child is almost here,” he said, kissing your cheek.

“Jungkook, Lord Taehyung each of you grab a leg and hold them please,” Father Jin said as he sat in front of you. Both men looked shocked at the idea, but you and Jimin both nodded, giving them permission.

Jungkook gently placed his hands on your calf and pushed your leg back holding it in position for you. Taehyung did the same, each of them keeping their eyes respectful.

“Why do we have to hold her legs?” Taehyung asked, looking at Jungkook.

“Gives her more leverage and relieves some of the pressure on her back,” Jungkook answered.

“The only problem is it can close off the birthing canal at an awkward angle, but for now this is the best position to give her a break,” Father Jin said.

When you started pushing, you felt your lower back ache with how much strain you were under. Jimin could only watch as you cried out in pain when Father Jin urged you to keep going.

Everyone in the room was tense with worry.

Your health had always been fragile, even after coming back from the dead you still fell sick easily and had trouble with your lungs. But Father Jin was focused on the baby, while Jimin was focused on you.

“I never expected it to hurt this much,” Namjoon whispered, watching on in horror as his Queen and dear friend struggled to keep conscious through the pain.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” you wailed. Hoseok was quick to grab a bucket that was formerly filled with water and held it as you threw up. Jimin smoothed his hands down your back, trying to keep himself from crying. Jungkook and Taehyung had given you a break with your legs so you could turn as you emptied your stomach.

“Y/N,” Jimin murmured, kissing your shoulder gently.

“Sit back straight, Y/N, you need to keep pushing,” Father Jin said. You were delirious with pain and exhaustion. You needed something to keep you grounded. The one thing you knew would always keep you grounded.

“My love, talk to me, just keep talking to me,” you pleaded, voice hoarse with how much you’d been crying.

“Y/N, it’s alright,” Jimin soothed, kissing your sweaty forehead with worry. “They’re almost here, we’re so close to meeting our baby. We’re so close to being a family.”

“Alright your Majesty another big push on the count of three, one... two... three!” Father Jin said, you pushed hard and felt nothing but sheer agony as the child started crowning.

“I can see the head!” Hoseok said, standing behind Father Jin, now hanging onto Yoongi tightly.

“Oh my God,” you cried, head falling back on the pillows.

“Keep pushing Y/N!” Father Jin said, preparing a cloth.

“I can’t, I really can’t, I’ll die if I keep going please,” you stammered. Taehyung and Jungkook shared an anxious look. Namjoon looked at you with fear written all over his features.

“My love, look at me,” Jimin said softly, bringing your eyes to his.

“It hurts, I can’t... Please don’t make me, ah!” You cried out as you felt another contraction.

“Y/N you need to push! Hard as you can,” Father Jin said, looking at your situation.

“Keep going Lady Y/N,” Jungkook said, looking up to your weary face. He’d seen several women give birth in his village, his mother being a midwife. But, to see someone he cared about going through this was difficult.

“You’ll be alright, you will. But if you stop pushing you’re putting you and the baby in danger,” Father Jin warned.

“How much longer?” You cried, giving another hard push.

“You’re so close,” Yoongi said, watching you with concern.

“You’re doing great!” Taehyung chirped, watching on in amazement.

He couldn’t wait to have his own family...

“The head is almost out, come on Y/N, keep going,” Father Jin said.

“Jimin,” you whimpered, clutching his hand as you gave the hardest push yet.

“I love you so much, keep going Y/N, I love you,” he whispered into your ear. You pushed again and finally, finally there was some relief.

“Oh my God!” Hoseok yelped, gripping onto Yoongi’s arm so tight he was certain that he was going to break his limb.

“You’re going to rip my arm off! Father Jin is a little busy right now!” Yoongi growled.

“Can you give me one more push? Just one more,” Jimin asked, kissing your shoulder. Looking at him with tears in your eyes you nodded, giving another strong push before soft cries filled the room.

“It’s a boy!”

“A prince!”

“Congratulations your majesties!”

You slumped back onto the bed, breathing heavily when a small bundle was placed on your chest. Looking down you saw your son, wiped off haphazardly and clutching your nightdress tightly.

“Oh Y/N,” Jimin whispered, placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

“He’s so handsome!” Hoseok cooed, looking on at you and Jimin both. Father Jin had you push a few more times to deliver the afterbirth, but nothing was as intense as giving birth to your son.

“Ji...min...” you breathed, eyes growing heavy.

“Can she rest Father?” Taehyung asked, looking at the little prince attached to his mother with tear filled eyes.

“Not yet, Y/N, stay awake,” Father Jin warned.

“Why...?” You asked, slowly taking in deep breaths.

“I need to check you and the baby over, and he needs to feed,” Father Jin said softly, cleaning you up still. Your eyes were still heavy, but you heard your baby crying softly on your chest.

Instinctively you shushed him, bringing him to your chest so he could latch on. After a little struggle, he was feeding eagerly. You brushed his hair gently, watching with sleepy eyes as he ate his fill.

Father Jin came over, congratulating you on a wonderful delivery. He did tell you everything you needed to do for the coming days, encouraging you to stay in bed and keep the baby close to form a relationship. He also told Jimin to take the baby and have time as well.

“It’s important that you two stay together for this coming week, I’ll make sure that the advisors and everyone just leaves you alone unless it is absolutely life or death,” Father Jin said, looking at your babe with a tenderness that made your heart swell.

“What’s the baby’s name? Hmm? What do we call our new prince?” Namjoon asked, raising a brow.

“Jihoon?” You asked, looking at Jimin for confirmation.

“It’s perfect,” Jimin agreed, giving you a kiss on the forehead.

“Prince Jihoon, I’ll let the advisors and everyone know,” Taehyung said, running into the hall.

“Lord Taehyung! Just hang on a second!” Namjoon yelled, chasing after the excited noble.

“We’d better go and make sure they don’t get into any trouble,” Yoongi said to Jungkook, patting his shoulder before guiding the younger male out the door.

“As much as I’d love to spend time with my Godchild, I have to make sure that my brother and friends don’t cause a scene,” Hoseok said. He came up and gave your hand a gentle kiss. “Congratulations Lady Y/N, I’m truly happy for you.”

With that he left the room, followed shortly by Father Jin.

You and Jimin were alone with your baby, the soft sound of his gurgles filling the room. Jimin looked down at you, eyes watery as he kissed your child’s head. You brushed the tears away from his face, even though exhaustion was flooding your aching body, you wanted to make sure he was okay too. He had also been through a lot today.

“I love you,” you said, watching as more tears fell from his eyes.

“I love you too, both of you... So much,” he whimpered. “That was the most beautiful and heartbreaking thing I’ve ever had to experience.”

“Heartbreaking?” You wondered out loud.

“To see you in so much pain, and there was nothing I could do about it,” he said, looking at your child, hands shaking.

“It’s alright, I’m okay now,” you said, holding his hand in your clammy one. Jimin pressed a delicate kiss to your wrist, looking up at you with so much love and adoration.

“I’m sorry you hurt so much, if I could take your pain I would,” he said, brushing your hair back.

“Doesn’t hurt anymore,” you mumbled, eyes closing slowly. “Just tired now...”

“Sleep my love, we’ll be here when you wake up.”

And they were.

And they always would be.

Forever.

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lochnessies · 3 years ago

Text

I guess my discomfort with the AM route could actually be summed up as

“I went straight from playing The Gayest House to the Most Heteronormative and Patriarchal House and even though it makes sense from a worldbuilding and storytelling standpoint, it still made for a very uncomfortable experience for me, the player.”

i’m not here to say what can and cannot make a person uncomfortable since that’s so heavily subjective and i personally also don’t like patriarchal undertones as well so i completely get it. however, i have always found it weird when people refer to the black eagles as the ‘gay house’ and act like that makes it superior to the others. i mean… i like edel, dorothea, and linhardt but their sexualities don’t make or break them for me as characters. and the ‘gayness’ of these characters only happen if you happen to s-rank them as the same sex and has no impact on the story. plus you can recruit 2/3 of them out of house and marry them there so it’s kinda irrelevant. the only house that doesn’t have canonically lgbt characters is golden deer and i’ve never seen people use that as a reason as to why they don’t like them. hell, i’ve seen people call them the ‘gayest house’ before. also blue lions does have a canon bisexual… mercedes. plus a lot of endings for the characters have a lot of homoerotic subtext… mercedes/annie, dedue/dimitri, dimitri/felix, sylvain/felix, dedue/ashe. opening an inn together, living together, being buried together, dying on the same day, loving a man more than his wife…. last i checked these are not very heteronormative things. quite the opposite actually lol

as for patriarchal…. are you sure you wanna say that about the kingdom rather than the empire? what makes the kingdom more patriarchal than the place that has a man drill into his daughter how to be the perfect wife, the emperor has lots of concubines, daughters are thrown to the streets, women are desperate for husbands bc it’s the only ways to gain stability, a woman used as a broodmare till it kills her, a noble woman with a crest can’t inherit her house and her daughter is almost forcibly married and raped to have children by her step father.

is it because a lot of the main characters for the plot are male rather than female? that’s not patriarchal it’s just slightly lazy bc patriarchy is systemic not a a problem of plot structure. once again, the golden deer only has judith as a female general/essential npc and the rest are men but i don’t see people get upset about that.

Imagine if I only played AM and I came away thinking this was a typical medieval fantasy where the men are all in leadership roles,

not all the men are leaders and some women are too. such as cornelia and edelgard and they hold a lot of it.

the women are all relegated to support roles and struggling against forced marriages,

no they are not. once again, edel and cornelia are major characters and definitely not supporting roles. also, nobody is being forced into marriage in the blue lions. ingrid’s father suggests suitors but she has complete control over saying yes or no. and in her endings she gets to be a knight. however, we do know forced marriages are a thing in the empire.

men act out their feelings with violence,

yeah, dimitri does get violent but it’s seen as extremely negative and as a sign of his poor mental health and lack of ability to rule at the moment. if this was a typical fantasy game then his violence would be praised and a sign of a warrior and king. dimitri has to let go of his violent impulses in order to become a good kings and as shown in ss/vw he will die if he continues down his self destructive path.

in azure moon byleth and everybody else is constantly telling dimitri to get his shit together where as cf everybody just vapidity nods along to edelgard’s violent impulses.

women in power are inherently suspect,

women are not inherently suspect due to their sex. they are suspect bc the main female characters are suspicious and they do shitty things that hurt the other characters and they are rightfully angry. hell, even male characters are suspect. for example thales and even dimitri himself is seen as suspicious during the academy arc.

hints of flirtation between women are aggressively shot down,

i assume this is about ingrid? i hate to tell you but rejecting somebody’s romantic advances isn’t homophobic and if you don’t respect people’s boundaries then i don’t want to be around you. all other female relationships are treated very well and the female characters admire and respect each other.

hints of feelings between men are treated awkwardly and uncomfortably.

once again, with feeling this time, opening an inn together, living together, being buried together, dying on the same day, loving a man more than his wife are not examples of feelings between men being treated awkwardly. hell, most of the deep and loving relationships are between men. some are strictly platonic (rodrigue/dimitri & gilbert/dimitri) and other are much more 👀. dimitri was even critiqued by some straight men bc he was so open about his feelings with bylad and many people read him as bisexual (my sister even hcs him as completely gay). he literally calls another man ‘irreplaceable’ and ‘cherished’ while he’s apparently shirtless.

Not knowing there’s a whole other route where multiple women are in charge,

just because a woman is in charge doesn’t mean she’s good at it and we know edelgard isn’t a good leader and is willing to stoop to the lowest of the lows. just bc she’s a lady doesn’t make her horrific actions suddenly #girlboss and #feminism

men pay women respect and never degrade them,

women are not above critique. and men don’t violent degrade women for no reason on blue lions (you could say felix and his ingrid supports but he’s a dick to everyone and sylvain whos a rampant misogynist regardless of route and the same could be said for lorenz on golden deer). also hubert does degrade petra and that’s a cf exclusive.

nobody ever suggests that there are inappropriate roles for any gender,

and i have good news! neither do blue lions! ingrid is wholeheartedly supported by her male peers and dimitri (by op’s definition a violent man) even wants her to be his knight and serve in his guard.

men are allowed to be soft,

dimitri, dedue, and ashe??? hello?!??

women are allowed to be aggressive,

ingrid and catherine??? hello????

everybody has at least one potential gay ending and it’s not treated as a shameful secret.

i hate to be the one to tell you but none of the characters from any routes have explicate gay endings outside of the few with byleth. you can read into something all you want and make headcanons but that doesn’t change what is provided in canon. i find all the same sex endings in azure moon to have romantic undertones (outside of gilbert of course go home to your wife dude). and NONE of the endings are treated as a shameful secret. homosexuality is never talked about as being shameful in the game and that sounds like you projecting.

#asks

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pasta-abomination · 4 years ago

Text

I don’t even know if I should post about this but I feel like I have to say something because it is so profoundly painful that I think it needs to be said, and I’m carrying a lot of anger around with me as a result, and no one who’s saying these things (at least none of the people around me) deserves anger.

But I struggle to put into words how completely fandom has been ruined for me by completely arbitrary rules/discourse about fandom activities that I don’t even engage in.

The absolutist, hard-line defensiveness of lesbian-identified (it exists everywhere, but I have not run into it nearly as often in other spaces) fans in saying “you cannot ship these other ships because one of these characters is a canon lesbian—” (and oftentimes they aren’t, and the interpretation is based mainly on the fact that people identify with those characters) “—and if you ship this character with a male character that is lesbian erasure” is incredibly alienating and painful to me as someone who was assigned female at birth, grew up exclusively attracted to women, learned the vast majority of my politics from lesbians, share many experiences of erasure and trauma with lesbians (including the erasure and belittlement of my feelings for women & the importance of my relationships with them), and identified as a dyke for years (and I’m still more comfortable with “dyke” than “lesbian” because of how successful TERFs have been in hammering in that lesbians are women full stop, even the non-binary identified ones)

I don’t think the people saying these things realize just how deeply and clearly it sends the message that my not identifying as a woman all the time, my taking testosterone but not identifying as a man, my genderqueerness, my butchness, my navigation of my sexuality now that my physical hormone levels have changed—that it means I don’t get to write about complicated experiences or desires because I’m “erasing” other people. That I’m the “invader” in “their” space (which, that phrasing sets off my TERF alarm tbh) when this is the only place I’ve ever belonged. That it invalidates my identity, and in its own way, erases my experience by pretending that there is One Correct Way to be a lesbian, a dyke.

That I am too far to the masc side of the spectrum to have a voice or be part of this community when for years my understanding (based on my interactions in IRL lesbian spaces, with other lesbians who also ID’d as genderqueer) of this community was that it was a place for people with complicated relationships with their assigned sex and with their gender and with how gender operates in our culture—and yes, that includes sexuality and sexual & romantic attraction, because those things are inextricable from how gender operates in our culture.

You are saying that I don’t belong anywhere. You are saying that I’m too much of a minority within a minority to get to explore or express my feelings because someone I’ve never met who has no idea what my life is like might be reminded of painful experiences—experiences that we share. You are claiming that any expression of those complicated desires and embodiments, from the perspective of someone who experiences them and is sympathetic to them as a queer person, is literally the same as Hollywood and the entertainment industry’s demeaning and malicious portrayals of lesbian sexuality.

And I think you are wrong, and I could argue about that, but right or wrong doesn’t matter when it comes to things like this. More importantly, what you are saying is hurtful and damaging to the point that I cannot participate in fandom anymore. Fandom was a space for me to explore parts of myself that I do not get the chance to live in my daily life. To celebrate everything being queer could mean. To be my whole self.

But that is not what it has become, and I never expected to say this about fandom of all places, but I no longer feel welcome, because I no longer feel whole here. Even though nothing about the way I identify has truly changed. I am, and always have been, genderqueer and butch. I have tried other labels, but those two have never gone away.

But fandom no longer feels like a celebration of queerness in all its forms. It feels like I’m constantly walking on eggshells and cutting bits and pieces off my identity and my experience to avoid being lumped in with the very same people whose work I’m in here to celebrate, to queer (verb), to make more whole. The people who I am anything but, because I am and always have been queer, and even when I engage with M/F works, my approach has always been from a queer standpoint.

The irony is that so many of the people saying these things identify as non-binary lesbians. As in, at least by my understanding, having a complicated relationship with womanhood and gender as a whole.

What’s even MORE fucked up is that I don’t even engage in the kind of fan activities for those ships that they would consider “erasure”. They’re not really on my radar except peripherally. But I know that I have a relationship to those ships and experiences too. And being told I have to swear off even thinking about those experiences or I’m A Bad Invasive Transgender Who Needs To Man Up And Transition Fully And Stop Telling “Real Lesbians” what to do hurts. It feels like being asked to cut part of myself off.

Do I ship, say, Adora/Bow or Catra/Bow or Adora/Glimmer/Bow? Not particularly strongly. Nor do I feel negatively. I don’t have any strong feelings about the ships one way or another beyond, “Okay, I can see how someone might think they’re cute”. I would so much rather spend time talking about Mara/Light Hope or Catra/Glimmer or literally any F/F ship. M/F just does not move me or connect with me the same way. I engage with it usually in the context of headcanoning a canon cis character as transmasculine, enby, genderqueer, BPQ, or gay; or to explore the nuances of sexuality and romantic or non-romantic attraction in the context of a poly relationship.

And that’s what’s so fucked about this. I don’t have anything invested in Adora/Bow (for example). But I know that if I did, I would be In The Wrong to express that. I would be the bad guy. I would be disowned, looked askance at, possibly harassed. I would be judged, and I would be judged to be something that I am not.

I’m not asking for you to ship things that you don’t like. I’m not asking for you to read fics that headcanon a character you view one way, another way. I’m asking for you to recognize that there is no one single “lesbian” experience or expression, even if there are overarching general patterns. I’m asking you to please think, for just a second, that the people you are accusing of erasure are real people, and a real part of your community, too.

I’m asking you to please consider, the next time something like this comes up—what is this person getting out of their shipping? What are they exploring? Why are they attracted to this ship? We act like these have simple easy answers that you can figure out just by looking at what people ship, but that’s not always true. What tropes are they engaging? What traumas do these characters speak to for them? What aspect of gender or gender dynamic are they exploring?

I am asking that you allow people (and characters, because that is where this seems to start in fandom) ambiguity and complexity. I am asking that you allow queer people to write queer things even if they are not your queer thing.

Ultimately, though, what I’m asking you to remember is that even though I understand where you are coming from, even though I agree in many cases, this trend in fandom is so incredibly painful and othering and broadly accepted by people that it is almost impossible to be active in fandom anymore

and that hurts so much.

#fandom wank #there’s gonna be terfs on this post i just know it #but w/e

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nellie-elizabeth · 4 years ago

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Supernatural: Carry On (15x20)

Oh my god. Lol. So... did Andrew Dabb forget to read back through his finale script one final time before deciding it was finished? Because like... Dean says "if we don't keep living, all that sacrifice (Cas and Jack) will be for nothing." Cut to a comically short time later, where Dean dies and is just like "time to go, let's not keep fighting, I'm tired lol."

Like WHAT did I just witness. I'm so grateful, in this moment, to a little show called The Magicians, because in April of 2019 they ended their fourth season with such an egregiously terrible decision that I literally couldn't sleep for a week, I was shaking and intermittently sobbing, I had never felt so betrayed and devastated over any piece of media before. After that, I've sort of become numb to bad endings, and this is no exception. This episode was absolutely terrible and I'm just sort of like... meh. I'll ignore it. Whatever.

I do want to forego the usual "pro" and "con" sections in this review, and do a more traditional full-on ramble about my thoughts, because they're kind of convoluted, if I'm gonna be honest.

The first thing I want to say, is that this wasn't the worst finale I've ever seen. Objectively, it was a terrible episode of TV and an insulting wrap-up to a fifteen-year-show. But I have a very specific category for the worst finales ever, and those are the ones that provide endgame states for the characters that are... unfixable in a post-canon but still-canon-compliant world. So, for example, the How I Met Your Mother finale killed off the titular mother and betrayed years of buildup, and that's a real-world sitcom. There's no resurrecting people from that shit. Or like. Game of Thrones being an obvious recent example. The Rise of Skywalker is a good movie example.

This? It's a little different. The endgame state of Sam and Dean and Cas is that they all die and spend eternity in Heaven, where they get to be with all their loved ones. I mean, sure, we don't get to see that, we only get a throwaway line to imply that Cas made it out of Super Turbo Hell The Empty, but that's the endgame state of the characters. And that's more or less what I would have wanted, as like a... years after canon situation. Right? So yeah, this was a bad episode, but if I edit in the shit I wanted to see, none of it contradicts the canon in a way that's not workable. It's a sad world we've come to where this is all I can really grasp at, but there is a perverse sort of comfort in that.

So, should we talk now about how Dean dying is a betrayal of what they said this whole season, and maybe whole show was about? Ha. It's so ridiculous. It's embarrassing. I watched Dean's final moments and I was embarrassed for Jensen. For Dean. For all of us watching.

Just. Watch the end of 15x19 again, okay? Watch it, and hear what they're saying. Yay, we killed God, we killed the author of the story, which means we get to write our own stories, finally. We get to do that. After all this time, we're finally free. And what does freedom look like? It looks like Dean dying on a run of the mill hunt.

We get this little montage of Sam and Dean at the Bunker, you know? They're doing laundry and going on jogs and cuddling with Miracle the dog, and they're brushing their teeth and going on hunts, I guess. And the emotional resonance from that scene was just kind of... ennui? And boredom? And that's what's so terrible and depressing about this ending. It's so empty, because Dean didn't get to do the thing he said he was fighting for. Sure, he was always fighting for Sam, but he should have been able to fight for himself, too, right? He should have been able to fight for a life after the years of programming. He should have gotten to be a rock star or a chef or worked at an animal shelter or become a foster parent or grown old as Sam's brother, as an uncle to his kid. He should have been able to find love, if he wanted that.

Look, I'm not even mad that Dean died in a "mundane" way. It's not like "nooo Dean is too coooool to die in such a laaaame way, he's a bad-ass and he should have gone out in a blaze of glory!" That's actually not what I'm mad about at all. Sam died old in his bed, and Dean should have been able to do that too. This whole season, since finding out that Chuck was the ultimate big bad, was supposed to be about free will, and Dean never got to figure out a way to be happy and find peace. That's fucking dour and stupid.

I kept saying, in the buildup to this finale, that a depressing, grim-dark ending to this show would be a failing of the themes they set up, and, hey, they didn't go grim-dark, because the writers did not think this was grim-dark. They thought it was powerful and emotional and resonant. You can tell they thought that, even though they're... uh... what's the word. Wrong? Yeah. Wrong. You know what I realized while watching this? It was just a lamer, less resonant and appropriate version of Sam's sacrifice at the end of season five.

Right? Because after Sam yeets himself into hell to save the world, Dean just has to keep going, and as Cas says, "you got what you wanted, more of the same." Just... more of the same. And Dean couldn't hack it, he was miserable without Sam, and Sam came back and we got ten more years of the fucking show. And now... what, we just get that in the other direction? Because Sam is the strong one and can soldier on without Dean because his codependency was a little less crippling? Wow, what a great ending for him, I guess. It doesn't work because we've seen Sam without Dean, and he falls apart too.

And now the show ends with Sam alone. Sure, he gets married to a blur in the background and has a kid, but let me ask you a question, here. Did Sam... want to be a father? I didn't know that was a thing he wanted, that would make him happy, honestly. I had no idea. So this doesn't seem like it works as something even remotely satisfying as an endgame state for him either. It's bleak.

And it's bleaker because there's nobody else in this fucking episode, y'all. The other big theme in all of Supernatural, after "free will" would be "family don't end in blood." And guess what? Apparently it does? Apparently Sam and Dean are each other's whole worlds and nothing else matters? We get... an implied wider world but we don't get to see it. We don't get to see Eileen, Jody, Donna, anybody left alive for Sam. So from the standpoint of characters that we know and give a shit about, Sam loses Cas, Jack, and Dean and lives the rest of his life lonely and sad. Nobody else even comes to Dean's funeral. It's just Sam alone with the dog. Like... that's bleak.

This ending gave the fucking Wincest shippers everything their hearts could desire, for fuck's sake. Like. Why did they cater to that and not follow through on the idea that they had created a family and community beyond each other? You know, this thing called character growth?

To take a brief break from the negativity, I will say something here about Sam and Dean. In the weird hysterical euphoria of the whole Destiel thing a couple weeks ago, I lost sight of something, which is that for me, the draw of this show has always been the relationship between Sam and Dean. I was never a brothers-only person, but it was their fucked up codependent bond that drew me to the show over the years. I loved the idea of Destiel, but I never thought it was going anywhere, so really I loved Castiel, the character, separate from the context of his relationships. Having a big dramatic death scene where Dean says "I love you so much" and there's a forehead touch and Dean saying "it's always been you and me" and confesses that he was scared to get Sam at Stanford because he didn't know how to survive if he didn't have him, and to have Sam say "don't leave me" and then give Dean permission to go... I mean, all of this is catnip, right? All of this is great, like, in isolation, it was such an amazing "broment," as the fandom says. I mean, it made no sense with context, it was utterly insulting in every way, but Jensen and Jared acted their lil' hearts out and I could tell they were really in the moment.

So let's talk about Cas for a second, while I have you here... they never should have done the big gay confession. They just shouldn't have even fucking bothered. I'm telling you, that makes this whole thing worse. It felt completely intentional and weird that Dean never acknowledged the confession, never told Sam, never had a moment where he specifically reckoned with Cas' loss. But that's what I knew would happen. I knew it in my blood and bones, and as the meta started pouring in, I knew people were getting their hopes up for nothing. See, Cas saying "goodbye Dean" and the handprint on the arm... I knew that was their catharsis, that was the writers' and Misha's big goodbye to the character of Castiel. They thought they fucking nailed it. I knew we wouldn't see him again.

Like I said before, I have to be satisfied with an endgame state that doesn't totally suck, right? So, we get this throwaway line from Bobby that Jack fixed Heaven and made it not suck, and that Cas helped. This implies a multitude of things that are... comforting. At least Cas doesn't get that dour, dark, helpless oblivion that I worried he'd get. We can assume Jack plucked him out of the Empty, that he gets to be with his son, and that, if the fic writers so choose, Dean and Cas can have lots of gay sex up in Heaven. I think Misha not being in this finale was frankly a slap in the face to one of the biggest and most important characters the show has ever seen, you know? And I think that they kept him out of it so we could have Schrodinger's Destiel. Because if we'd seen Cas in heaven, and he hadn't confessed his big gay love, Dean could have been like: "hey Cas! Buddy! Good to see you, my friend." But since we did have the love confession, whatever Dean did upon seeing Cas would have to mean something in that context. So instead we didn't get to see him at all.

Which is stupid.

Also stupid is that the big sacrifice was to save Dean's life and then a couple weeks later he gets impaled on a rusty nail and dies anyway. Thanks for making the whole thing feel so utterly pointless and empty. No pun intended. Wow, they did Misha dirty, here, didn't they.

Turning back to Sam's ending, let's just talk about that for a minute. Like I said, I'm happy he got to live a long life and die an old man, what Dean always wanted for him. But nothing about that ending was more poignant because Dean was gone. In fact, it just made it super duper depressing and lame. There was no reason Dean couldn't have gotten a happy life, too. It adds nothing that he died young and unfulfilled. Like, you know how people joke about the end of the Titanic, where you see that Rose's Heaven is reuniting with Jack and everyone else on the ship, and people will say "well, gosh, that's kind of a slap in the face to Rose's family" since she clearly got married and had kids and grandkids? This is literally that! Like, having an ending where a young-again Sam Winchester gets to Heaven, and his whole Heaven, the thing that he needed to find peace after death, was a return to his brother... look, I'm not mad about that, but what the fuck about nameless blurry wife that we couldn't even confirm to be Eileen for some reason? What about everyone else?

And did Sam... keep hunting? Did he go to law school? Maybe there were background details that confirmed what he ended up doing with the rest of his life besides becoming a husband and father, but I didn't see evidence of it because I was too busy rolling my eyes out of my skull at how dumb this all was. So Sam just gets a generic "raking leaves in the yard" ending, like we saw for Dean at the end of season five, with nothing to challenge that. Even though we've seen why life outside of hunting, life without Dean, isn't satisfying for Sam, we're now supposed to accept it as how he spends the rest of his life, without seeing him put the work in to get there?

One thing I realized watching this episode is that it tries to play the middle. Like, with the Cas thing, they didn't want to make his noble gay sacrifice totally meaningless, so they couldn't just pop him back into the story, but they did give us one single throwaway line to reassure fans that he's not still in The Empty. So, people who don't give a shit about Cas can assume he's off being Jack's assistant and doesn't really interact with humans in Heaven. People who do give a shit about one of the show's main characters can assume that he has a home in Dean's little Heaven neighborhood too, and they all get to buddy around for eternity. People who don't like Eileen? Well, Sam married some nobody who we never got to meet. People who liked her? Well, you can't prove that wasn't Eileen, can you? Even Dean driving around in the impala waiting for Sam to die so he could finally be happy with his fucking soulmate or whatever. Time in Heaven is weird, Bobby says. It's metaphorical. You could assume that the driving montage was actually intercut with other moments, with Dean getting to see dear old mom (and dad, I guess, but ugh), and spending time with Bobby, with OG Charlie, with other familiar faces, and new ones as they finally reach their own deaths on Earth and come up to party with the rest of the gang.

Like, in a better show, in a world without Covid, maybe they had plans along these lines, to get more guest characters back and show Dean getting sappy hellos to a bunch of side characters in Heaven. To be quite honest, I would not have been mad about that. If you're going to make Dean die young and never give him the chance to find out who he could have been when the choices were all his own, which is, in case I haven't made that clear, a horrendous and insulting ending for his character... at the very least you could have given us the cheesiness of seeing him hug his friends in Heaven. Jeezus.

I want to hammer in this point one more time before I wrap up: they ended the show by saying that character development didn't matter. They had Dean's dying speech be a meta reference to the pilot episode of the show, they had him saying "it's always been you and me" and then they confirmed that with everything they had. Sam became a father, but did he have a happy life? Seems like he pined away for his dead brother for decades and then died. If the pilot had never happened, if Sam had stayed at Stanford and Dean had gone on hunting by himself, you know what would have happened? Sam would have had a "normal" life and married a woman and had a kid, I guess, and grown old, and Dean would have died fighting some vampires in a barn. This show has been on for fifteen years, and the ending did not honor anything about the journey the characters had been on.

A particularly egregious example is the early scene with the pie festival, where Sam is like "I'm sad about Cas and Jack" and Dean is like "if we don't go on living it won't honor their sacrifice" like... yeah, I get it, bringing people back from the dead time and time again is supposed to be a bad thing that Sam and Dean did for each other because they were selfish. So Sam giving Dean permission to go was supposed to be a growth moment. Sam and Dean accepting that Cas was gone and not even asking Jack to make sure he got sent to a happy eternity instead of oblivion, that's supposed to mean they've learned their lesson. And what a fucking lesson to leave things off on. Jesus, this is grim.

So like. As I try to figure out what to say at the end of this review, I will point out one glimmer of light in the darkness, which is that this finale isn't going to ruin the rewatchability of the show for me. I can still come back and re-watch without feeling like the whole thing is ruined by the ending. It's more than I can say for some other shows.

But honestly, if this was the ending we were going to get? Why the fuck not leave it open-ended? I did not enjoy 15x19 particularly well, but at least that episode left them on the open road, with a wide future ahead of them. Anything might have happened. It's their turn to write the story, right? Chuck is dead, the writer is "dead", the show is over, and now the possibilities are endless. That would have been an anticlimactic ending, for sure. But this ending just turns around and slaps the whole point of that first ending in the face and says "haha bitch you thought". They don't get to write their own stories. We see exactly how those stories end, and it's lame. Leave something to the imagination, yo. Leave it vague how and when they died, what their lives turned into. Show them in Heaven, getting to their peace at last, reuniting with their friends, including Cas. Put in a significant glance between Dean and Cas, and leave it to the internet to go wild about what it could mean. And never answer when fans ask "so what happened, when did they die? Did they keep hunting?" Just leave it vague. If this was the only ending they could come up with, I'd rather be left with questions.

This finale gets a low score from me, because they couldn't even pull on the right heartstrings to make me sentimental...

4/10

But the show as a whole? Well, it was a mess, and it had some seriously high highs and some devastatingly low lows. It's a bummer that the lowest low came in how they tried to wrap up the whole shebang, but like I said, this ending isn't going to ruin the whole fifteen-year run for me. We get to make up what happens next, and we can make Jack's new and improved Heaven our post-canon fix-it haven. I don't think there's ever been a show in my life quite like Supernatural. The fandom is so bonkers. The meta narrative of the show is so convoluted and twisty and goes in so many unexpected directions. I liked watching this show for its own sake, and also as like... an anthropologist trying to discover something about humanity and American values specifically. It wasn't always a pleasant experience, but it was one I know I'll never forget. My heart tells me to give the show as a whole a high score, representing the many, many hours of joy and dread and delight and horror I got over the near decade I've personally been watching. How do you wrap up fifteen years in a score out of ten?

9/10

#review #supernatural #supernatural review #spn #spn 15x20 #spn finale #lol y'all #it's been a JOURNEY

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