#i could stick stickers on my computer case which is cute but its not like anyone would see that.... feels like a waste....

[electricpurrs]

i am a big big fan of trinkets and merch yknow stuff like stickers, pins, keychains etc. theyre often very cool and cute and fun and theyre usually pretty cheap and many small artists sell their little merch which helps support them but my problem is that i dont know WHERE id wear my little merch if i got any..... i dont have any cool jackets, i dont have a purse or a backpack, i dont have a car for bumper stickers, i dont even have a water bottle. i dont even have keys. what am i supposed to do with these thangs

[fizzingwizard]

of course I had a two and a half week vacation in march, right when moominvalley season release was allegedly gonna happen... and it never did...

then on the VERY LAST DAY of my break, "hey guys! guess what show releases tomorrow!" like WHAT x'D

it's april 1st and the season's out and it was my first day back at wooooork aaaaaahhh x'D

being an adult sucks hahahahaha

but its not like i can watch it anyway lol im not in the uk. gotta wait till i find it somewhere >_>;

and being back at work was pretty good, random stuff under the cut

got my new class list and i do indeed have the student i was dreading... fingers crossed there but the rest of the group is already so cute and i cant wait to teach them. who knows, maybe the difficult kid will have matured a lot over the last month...

also met new coworker who is cool. and the atmosphere was a lot lighter than it usually is on first term days. we even got new computers which i am suuuuper excited about, the old ones were so. crappy. just the worst computers you can imagine. took ten min just to turn on and another ten to load a single webpage. if you had a fifteen minute break you were screwed. even if you had thirty min you could accomplish next to nothing. it was such a pain because we generally only get breaks (by which I mean prep time) in 15 or 30 min blocks and we have an INORDINATE amount of paperwork. my dude we teach pre-k! why this endless slog through paperwork xD the struggle is real

but now we got shiny new computers and it comes as a total shock! but a pleasant one. less pleasant was the company trying to stick me with our electric piano. we have one but it broke because of being wheeled around to different classrooms, and apparently the only solution anyone can come up with is "keep it in fizz's classroom instead of in the hall." one: how on EARTH does that stop it getting broken since it will still need to be wheeled around from room to room?? and two: where in my teeny tiny classroom do you want me to put a whole ass piano with wires and breakable bits?? first of all every corner of our room is being used, we already do not have enough storage space or enough space for the number of 1-3 year old kids which is upwards of 30. my room stores all the nap cots for two classes. then even if we figure somethign out, there is no way the kids are not going to accidentally break that piano no matter how hard we try to steer them away. i mean even if the kids are good, the pianos gonna get paint on it from crafts. i swear that it will even if we cover it. i am always finding paint and stickers in the most random of places. and last but not least, my classroom is also a nap room (hence the cots). we aren't allowed to even have water bottles on the shelves in case there's an earthquake and the things on shelves fall and hit the sleeping kids. but you want us to put a piano in there? a piano is less dangerous in an earthquake than a water bottle????

lit i told my coteachers "i will fight this." lol i was boiling over. i am not having that piano in my room. if there is no place to put it where it won't break, then either the company needs to pay for repairs when they happen (which so far is not even once a year, yet they actually rejected the maintenance application the first time we sent it -__-), or they need to not have a piano at all. "but the music teacher needs it" yes im sure she does but thats got nothing to do with me! i didnt decide my 2s need to take music lessons! thats the companies choice! that they knowingly made for their busiest school with the largest class size and teeny tiny rooms with absolutely no storage space at all! the company knows all that and yet they're just like "You guys figure it out." Well ok, im figuring it out. the piano can stay where it was last year and get moved around like usual. there is zero benefit to putting it in my room, it only makes HO feel better about spending money on the maintenance (for now - just wait till next time it breaks 9_9). on top of that it would adversely affect my class which is the number one thing i care about here. im fortunate in that our team leader agreed with me and actually went to bat over this even harder than i did. still not sure whats gonna happen but i do intend to block that piano coming in my room unless someone comes up with a reeeeally good idea for how we're gonna fit it in tetris-style without causing problems.

but otherwise a good day, lol

[mildly-incoherent-ramblings]

Honey Sticks (Straws? Tubes? What Do You Call Them?)

A distant friend's friend was making care packages for trans people and asked folks on Instagram if they wanted them, so I asked for one. This has been a hard season on me and I thought hey, what the hell, worst case scenario I don't get one and its whatever. Right?

This was months ago, and I forgot almost immediately after doing so. It came today. 

There were lots of things included that made me happy, little gestures of sweetness. Two tea bags, one for sleep and one for relaxation, which I had not had much of either and needed. A sticker of a cute little spider, of whom I have complicated feelings for and have grown to love, though from a distance. Some candies, a lemon-honey cough drop, a very nice card, a note and a patch with an anarchy symbol framed in a heart that I bet will probably fade in 3 or so washes but I will wear anyways. It is after all, the thought that counts. But the gesture that warmed my soul and brought me great joy, was the honey stick. 

I didn’t process the significance at first. There were so many of these little items at once and I was just overwhelmed overall by this small expression of kindness. I thanked the person, followed them, thanked the person who had told them I wanted one and made sure I was following them, and set these things aside for a little while to tend to other things. 

I had a stressful situation involving a kitchen mess that triggered me a little and had just sat down after addressing said stressful situation when my eyes fixed on the little honey stick along with the candy I had been given. I ate the mango hi-chew first and briefly was paranoid it would fill the cavities in my teeth and have me regretting it. 

Then I went for the honey stick. I held it in my hands, rolled it gently between my fingers. I watched the honey move through the tube as I squeezed it in different places and the nostalgia started to set in. I remember long drives to the bay as a child with my grandparents and stopping at this little roadside farm that had produce and preserves and flowers and always, little straws filled with honey and sealed off, what I called as a child and refer to now as honey sticks. 

The texture was familiar, cool plastic between my fingers. I popped the seal gently with my teeth and pushed about half the tube onto my tongue. As soon as it hit my taste buds, I was transported to this place. To where my grandfather was still alive, in my mind, during a time where he and my grandmother were still at least as far as I knew, quite happy. The sweetness and the floral and the acidic and the smooth texture floated in my salivating mouth, as tears welled up in my eyes. I felt it coat the back of my teeth, savored it, before swallowing and squeezing from the tube the rest of its contents. I did not waste a single drop of this wonderful gift. I sat with the sadness and the nostalgia and the longing for some time. And then my eyes fixated on the pamphlet from his memorial service hanging in the corner. I miss the man, for all the problems he came with and all the unanswered questions and unresolved hurt I had felt. Missed that time where I had the privilege of being a child, before I was old enough to understand that though my loved ones loved me indeed, their love would only extend as far as their own perspective’s limitations reached.

The last two times I saw my grandpa sit in my stomach like bricks in a burlap sack. The second to last time, he was moving out of state with his good friend, and the last words he chose to say to me were “I love you, Granddaughter.” I had been out as transmasculine to my family for several years, and he was one of the only members of my family who flat out refused to support my decisions. I told my grandma about how I felt about this several months later, at the time worried this may be the last time I ever saw him. I felt like he did not want to see my transition, and did not want to see the man I would become. As much as I love my grandma, she doesn’t keep a secret worth a shit, so of course she went behind my back and told him everything. She always does. 

The very last time we saw each other, he tried to discuss this event and how it impacted him. By this time I was fully growing into my masculine body, had little pubescent hairs shading my upper lip and a deepened voice. He still adamantly misgendered me, refused to even look at me, the entire time. He simply could not see me. He asked me why I would do this to my family. He asked me why I would make them all suffer seeing me like this, as if my choice to live authentically was harmful to everyone around me. He was also under the distinct impression that our loved ones regarded my choices with the same level of disgust he had. He expressed revulsion and shame for my choices, and wanted to agree to disagree, under the impression still that he could just see me as a woman and ignore all the changes I had made and the life I was living, and how much even the other skeptical members of my family had adjusted since. He did not want another grandson, especially one who was a fag. That car ride brought a lot of tension, and the entire time we spent after with my grandma when we met her for lunch, was plated on a bed of unspoken mutual contempt for one another. He salted an already deep and still fresh wound, and it festered over. It still has not quite healed. 

Ironically, it would be revealed not too long after, that my brother had discovered that grandpa himself was in fact very much a gay man. While he was assisting him with formatting his cell phone, my brother would accidentally stumble on a still open incognito tab with some... very gay content still open. Along with that, a string of messages with his “good friend,” who had apparently been his lover the entire time. My brother responded with compulsory homophobic remarks that I will not repeat, but mostly just frustration that he had been dishonest with my grandma all these years. The discomfort that situation has inspired in me still hasn’t properly been unpacked. Everyone was wrong in that situation. Everyone.

Go figure. He and his good friend, “they were roommates.” 

When he passed, my father came and told me in person. I finally spoke of what had happened between us, and even he was angered by the hypocrisy, saying he had known for years that my grandfather was not straight. I know now that how he treated me was what he did for himself to avoid suspicion. Because if I had the audacity to be out, that meant there was little left for an excuse for him to hide. I threatened his cover. I threatened his disguise. I cracked his mask. I left his closet open ajar and he peered outside, horrified at the possibilities he saw.

Acknowledging all this, even still, I could not help but enjoy this moment of being brought back to this familiar childhood memory, before all of that would happen. This person who sent me this great gift could not have known the significance, but rest assured, I am quite grateful. I enjoyed this moment and then it was gone, and then it was back to reality in front of my computer, staring at the wall. The knowledge that that same man who loved me dearly was also undeniably cruel to me burned my skin and flooded my eyes. Hidden beneath that hurt and sadness, I felt remorse for him, because he never did feel safe speaking his truth to us, not even to the others in our family who related to him. I often think of his lover, and how painful it must have been for this man to mourn him publicly as a good friend, and privately as an intimate partner of whom adored him and cared for him in ways they could not ever feel safe speaking of.

Sitting with this conflict of nostalgia and longing for the safety of my adolescent ignorance, with the truth and the reality as I have come to know it, I let my own mask fall, and cried for the first time in months since he had died. It is possible to both love a person who was once good to you and also acknowledge when their actions created harm, and to hold them accountable. I do not believe it to be disrespect to the dead to also speak of their faults as well as their glory. Joy and sadness and frustration and unanswered questions looked down on me, crowded around me, mocked me.

My hands shake as I type and I am overwhelmed with the juxtaposition of these strong emotions.

Written some time in mid July.

RIP August 19th, 2020

[just-the-mage]

Review-Love Death + Robots (Pt 1. Episodes 1-4)

So here we are again.  You, dear readers, and I, a mostly defunct tumblr page.  I was thinking...I’ve written a few reviews on here before, and I’ve rather enjoyed myself to be honest.  So until RP starts up again for me, I’m going to grab some popcorn and start reviewing some of the media I’ve been indulging in during this exceptionally fun pandemic we’ve all been saddled with (and are becoming increasingly more and more used to as time goes on).  Here we go! 

Spoilers incoming! I don’t like to discuss a show without going through it entirely-no stone unturned.  You have been warned! 

Love Death + Robots is a compilation series-each episode is self-contained content, based on what I have experienced thus far.  The content varies wildly from cute and sweet to surreal, to horrific.  For right now I’m going to stick with the first four episodes since they are fresh in my mind.  

Episode 1: Three Robots

Three robots shows a short adventure shared by, you guessed it-Three robots exploring the crumbling remains of human society.  It comes across as three tourists making their way through an area that they are completely unfamiliar with, attempting to define and understand elements of the environment as humans once did.  Their analysis and attempts to understand not only human culture, but also basic human biology, were entertaining to say the least.  Each robot has flair, character, and a their own take on humans and humanity.  Over the course of the episode, the fall of mankind is referenced a few times, being initially explained as a mass extinction due to environmental disasters (global warming is probably a factor-one of the buildings has an entire ship sticking out of it).  However, the twist ending throws that whole theory into question once the cat that has been accompanying the robots for the last leg of their journey reveals itself as capable of speech.  And, interestingly enough...being in possession of opposable thumbs.  It was certainly unexpected, and a bit odd-the cat (and its many, many brethren) manage to finish out the episode by convincing the robots that if the robots do not pet them, the cats may explode.  I will say that the ending, though it was rather silly and fitting with the tone, felt like an out of place twist intended mostly to give a bit of closure to a story that had no real need to have an ending.  It felt a little out-of-left field, at least to me.

This first episode, I think, is one that I could recommend to a much more general audience than almost all of the other content of the show.  It’s whimsical and cute, despite inhabiting such a grim setting (and grim it is-post apocalyptic is not taken lightly here.  There are plenty of corpses, some skeletal and some not quite so much.  At least one of them appears to have died by suicide).  I found it to be a nice addition and a good introduction to ease people into the tone of the show.  Definitely give this one a watch, even if the ending sort of comes from nowhere. 

Episode 2: Beyond the Aquila Rift

This episode was definitely a change of pace from the first.  It begins as a high science fiction story starring a hunky, middle aged man and his two crewmates, making some sort of cargo run (?) through a wormhole of some kind, but promptly finding themselves in a completely different place from what they expected.  Hunky space captain wakes up first, finding that he is greeted by an old friend (read: lover) of his, who explains that there was a navigation error that led them off course-way off course.  They’re in a completely different area than they expected.  The ship’s navigator wakes as well, swearing that there couldn’t have been an error in her calculations, but seems ill and is placed back in her future tech cryopod to rest.  Space captain man then bangs it out with his ex-lover (Greta) in a scene that was almost definitely written by a man, and she reveals to him that she lied, and that him and his crew are actually hundreds of light-years further off course than they had thought they were, basically dashing any hopes that he could have of returning to his old life.  The two then wake the navigator again, who immediately starts ranting that ‘Greta’ isn’t who she says she is.  At this point, enough clues have been given that the captain catches up with the audience (it was all a simulation the whole time), and he confronts Greta, demanding that she reveal herself as she truly is.  She does, after some prodding-and the captain finds himself in an infested husk of a ship, aged and haggard, obviously dying of starvation.  Greta reveals herself as a lovely spider-beast, and the captain wakes up from his pod again-back in his comfortable illusion once more.  

I love the premise of this one.  Crazy aliens and shit like this is a huge draw for me-sci-fi horror is probably my favorite subgenre of horror when it’s done well.  I would count this episode as doing it pretty well.  They don’t go into much techno-babble, which I think is a pitfall for some sci-fi stories.  The writers are well aware that we aren’t spending too long in this world, so we don’t need to know much about the rules under which it operates outside of ‘computer mistake your ship fly here.’  The twist ending didn’t end up being too much of a twist-in my opinion there were too many clues given throughout the episode to make it that much of a surprise that things weren’t as they seemed.  The odds of this man meeting his ex-lover in the infinitesimal reaches of space just by chance were a bit too impossible to make it believable-and the navigator was far too convinced that her work couldn’t be incorrect.  In the end, it was an expected twist, but still pretty jarring.  Execution is pretty good overall though-and the sex scene is pretty decent as well, even if its strictly a dude-fantasy thing.  Also, call me a sucker for cool looking beasties, but I adore the design on spider-Greta.  That’s a lady right there for you.  

Episode 3: Ice Age

The only live action episode I’ve seen so far-this one gives an *entirely* different tone than the majority of the other episodes in the series.  Topher Grace and Mary Elizabeth Winstead happen upon a lost civilization that exists entirely within their refrigerator.  They watch in awe as it develops incredibly quickly-hundreds of years passing within the civilization in roughly an hour or so of real time.  What starts in the morning as a town in the viking ages eventually develops into a modern society, almost destroys itself with nukes, and then rebuilds from the ashes into a fully futuristic society that quickly ascends beyond physical form, appearing to disperse itself into the cosmos, no longer bound by such petty rules as the laws of physics.  A disappointed Topher asks if they’ll return-to which he receives a sad ‘no’ from his partner.  It seems all is lost, and the couple go to bed for the night-only to find that the cycle has restarted overnight, and they probably won’t be able to keep any frozen chicken in the freezer for quite some time.

This one is probably one of my favorites of the series so far.  It’s fairly well acted, but the real beauty of the episode is getting to watch the mini-civilization develop itself in a glorious time lapse-the work that must’ve gone into it must have been monumental, to be honest.  The final product certainly felt that way, in any case.  What I also found fascinating was a specific scene in which the protagonists were abandoned in place of some of the tiny denizens of the lost civilization-which made me realize exactly how slow the ‘normal sized people’s’ actions must have looked to the diminutive people of this rapidly developing society.  Reminiscent of the earth’s motion in relation to our own perception-and reinforcing the concept that to an individual, perception is everything. 

Episode 4:  Sonnie’s Edge 

This episode opens with three people transporting mysterious cargo into a heavily guarded complex, quickly encountering and interacting with a ‘bigwig’ of sorts with a beautiful woman on his arm.  Through context clues the audience is easily able to discover that the three (pictured above) are here for a fight-and that their cargo is their fighter, a living creature of obviously immense proportion.  The bigwig asks the team to throw the fight, and they refuse, even after he offers a large amount of money.  (It’s worth mentioning that during this scene, ‘Sonnie’, the leader and controller of the beast fighter, shares an EXTREMELY homosexual gaze with the bigwig’s beautiful lady friend.  Don’t think I didn’t notice the setup, because I definitely noticed the payoff, even though it was rudely interrupted).  Sonnie and her teammates enter the ring, setting up as it appears that she will be piloting her fighter in some way.  Her opponent is also introduced, though he is hardly important in the story-imagine a cake of beef with a big sticker on him that says ‘mysogyny’ in bold print.  What follows is one of the most brutal fight scenes I’ve seen in animation (this is just my personal opinion though).  These creatures fucking tear each other to shreds, with Sonnie’s beast only just barely emerging as the victor, tearing the opposing fighter’s head clean from its body.  The bigwig is obviously angry, as is Sonnie’s opponent, and Sonnie and her team retires to a hotel room of sorts, with the exception of Sonnie-who slips away into the room that houses her fighter, promptly encountering the beauty from earlier! (Payoff time)..and it gets gay.  Fast.  I love me some wlw content, and there’s some nice tension here, right up until the beauty stabs Sonnie through the head.  Rude.  The bigwig reveals himself, which was a bit of a surprise-the part of me that hadn’t seen much of this show yet was hoping for a fluffy little happy ending.  It wasn’t to be though..after the beauty crushes Sonnie’s skull, the two promptly realize that ‘Sonnie’ wasn’t Sonnie at all-just some biotech.  The *real* Sonnie...was the fighter, the whole time.  Who promptly makes short work of both the beauty and the bigwig, (implied), in what I can only describe as the most satisfying moment in the series that I’ve seen thus far.  

This was easily my favorite episode of the show, and has continued to be, and I assume will continue to be my favorite through the rest of the series.  It’s not just because of the lesbian rep (my people!), or the misogynists getting fucking destroyed, but the strength of the reveal, the choreography of the fight scene, and the *power* of the protagonist.  I love her.  I love her sooo much.  We are seamlessly introduced into the world, shown a woman who has been beaten, scarred, faced sexual abuse, and she remade herself into a being of pure power.  She fought back, and *look how she fights back*.  I cannot describe just how much of a cheer-worthy moment it was to watch the smug smile be summarily wiped from the face of the bigwig.  I *love* seeing a villain who has full confidence in their victory suddenly realize that they don’t have the upper hand anymore...and that they are, in fact, absolutely screwed.  This was one of those wonderful, wonderful moments, and I can think of nobody more deserving than this villain of being torn to shreds.  This was an A+ episode for sure-100% recommend this one for anyone who can handle a bit of gore.  

Thank you so much for reading!  This is only part 1...more to come!        

[thewritingstar]

1-200 we're all in quarantine so got nothing to do. Might as well ask pls

oo anon you were gonna ask anyways lol. But I did this hella quick during a zoom.....

1. What is your middle name?

-Rose

2. Do you have any nicknames that aren’t derived from your actual name?

-Star

2. Do you have any allergies?

-Penicillin (not really thou), but no

4. What is the longest your hair has ever been?

-Lower back

5. How well can you write in cursive?

-Its readable

6. Name one item on your bucket list.

-Going to all the Disney parks in the world

7. Have you ever been on a blind date?

-haven’t even been on a real date

8. What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear and how old is it?

-prob like five years ago and its jeans

9. How often do you eat out at a fancy restaurant?

-nothing like I have to dress up but maybe once a year??

10. How grammatically correct are you when you text?

-rules don’t apply in text

11. Can you drive stick?

-hell no

12. What foreign country would you most like to visit and why?

-japan because I think it would be so cool

13. Nutella or peanut butter?

-NUTELLA

14. At what age did you have your first kiss?

-...............ahahhahahh

15. DC or Marvel?

-DC. Harley Quinn owns my ass

16. Have you ever hosted a wild party?

-my parties consist of drinking capri suns and playing cards against humanity and Mario kart

17. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it?

-...ooof haven’t read a book in a while

18. How many of your Facebook friends do you actually hang with?

-my mom

19. Have you ever donated blood?

-I was apart of a cancer study so I used to donate my blood (and pee) to science

20. From 1-10, how much do you like decorating for holidays?

-8 I love to decorate but I’m not allow near the Christmas trees

21. Coffee or tea?

-vaniila iced lattes or raspberry ice tea own me

22. What is your go-to Starbucks drink?

-Vanilla bean frap with extra vanilla

23. Last show you binge watched?

-currently its assassination classroom

24. Dogs or cats?

-puppy’s

25. Favorite animated Disney character?

-Jessica Rabbit, Dumbo, Rey, Tamatoa and Guedo

26. Have you ever cooked a big family meal by yourself?

-mostly baking for my family

27. Favorite winter activity?

-Staying inside

28. Have you ever butt dialed anyone?

-probably

29. Can you blow a bubble gum bubble?

-yes

30. How early in the year do you start celebrating Christmas?

-my mom plays Xmas music year round

31. What emoji best describes your life right now?

-the wilting rose

32. Are you fluent in more than one language?

-nope

33. What is the longest you’ve ever kept a New Year’s resolution?

-I don’t make them

34. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? Did you gain any of the weight back?

-I’m on a diet to gain weight and its not going well

35. Are any of your grandparents still alive?

-only on my moms side

36. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions?

-hahaha my face gives everything away and I can read people pretty well

37. Have you ever gotten a commercial jingle stuck in your head?

-EDUCATION CONNECTION! Get connected for free

38. Have you ever left a movie theater before the movie was over?

-Nope

39. Do you consider rapping singing?

-rapping is in its own ballpark...its why its called rapping

40. Does your home have a fireplace?

Yep

41. Favorite non-chocolate candy?

-sour gummies worms

42. If you could have only one superpower, what would you want and why?

-oooof ummmmmm maybe teleportation

43. Have you ever locked your keys in your car?

44. Do you listen to any religious music?

-noooooooooo

45. Do you drink soda? If so, which one is your favorite?

-I hate soda

46. What was your ACT score?

-do not do me like this (21)

47. Rice or quinoa?

-rice

48. From 1-10, how good of a driver do you consider yourself?

-like an 8

49. Do you like horror movies?

-nope

50. How easily do you cry?

-uh depends on what it is

51. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where?

-no but I want some

52. You are hanging with your closest friends. What are you most likely doing?

-being dumb and quoting tik toks at target

53. Can you handle spicy foods? What is your spice limit?

-not very well

54. Can you play any musical instruments? If so, which ones?

-no

55. Are you more introverted or extroverted?

-middle of the road

56. Last CD you bought?

-Folklore by Taylor Swift

57. Do you like roller coasters?

-yessss but they cant be extremely tall

58. What day of the week is laundry day for you?

-uhhh depends on when I have time

59. Have you ever played spin the bottle?

-uh maybe once but I was in fourth grade and walked away

60. How long have you known your best friend?

-I’ve known my bestie for 16 years (met when we were 4)

61. Can you eat using chopsticks?

-yes!! I usually eat my Chinese food with them

62. Do you have any stickers on your laptop computer? If so, what are they of?

-no because I need to get a case for my iMac and iPad

63. How often do you say y'all?

-every fucking day. Y’all is my go too

64. Favorite flavor of ice cream?

-cookie dough, pralines and cream, blue raspberry sherbert, vanilla, coffee

65. How long was your longest relationship? Are you still with that person?

-my longest relationship was like three weeks in fourth grade with my friends cousin who I saw twice

66. Star Trek or Star Wars?

-haven’t seen either but prob Star Wars cause r2d2 is cute

67. How good are you at math?

-ehhh I’m okay at stats

68. Have you ever acted in a play or a musical?

-used to do the plays in middle school :)

69. How often do you read/pay attention to your horoscope?

-not much my horoscope but just my sign in general

70. What is the shortest your hair has ever been?

-just above my shoulders

71. Have you ever broken any bones?

-my big toe

72. Do you like to go fishing?

-nooooooo I went fishing once and it pooped on me

73. Do you believe in evolution?

-of course

74. Favorite costume you wore for Hallowen? How old were you?

-I was perry the platypus…. 19

75. Real or fake Christmas trees?

-fake!!! WHO WANTS TO CLEAN THAT UP???

76. How many pillows do you sleep with?

-usually 1-2 but like 5 in the winter

77. Do you live in an apartment or a house?

-House rn

78. How many of your friends are of the opposite gender?

-in my close circle, one but I do have many boy homies

79. Have you ever had a near-death experience?

-many times

80. How long have you been at your current job?

-four weeks

81. What kind of car do you drive (year, brand, model, color)?

-white car

82. How flexible are you?

-not super but mama can bend

83. Have you ever ended a romantic relationship?

-haven’t even started one

84. Phrase you say the most?

-“I’m uncomfortable” “Y’all” “I would let J.D from heathers…..”

85. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same gender? If so, did you like it?

-no but I wish

86. Do you own any homemade clothing?

-not that I know of

87. Do you like fast food?

-yessss

88. Have you ever given anyone CPR?

-nope

89. Have you ever learned to do anything from a how-to video on YouTube?

-I fixed my moms glasses yesterday with a video so she wouldn’t have to spend a shit ton of money

90. Describe your sense of humor.

-if Always Sunny in Philadelphia and “vine comp that butters my eggroll” had a baby

92. Favorite cereal?

-no

93. Have you ever auditioned for a reality competition show?

-no

94. Have you ever gotten a TV theme song stuck in your head?

-Sugar, spice and everything nice, these were the ingredients…….

95. Do you believe in ghosts?

-indifferent

96. Do you think there is life on other planets?

-hell yeah

97. Have you ever given money to a street performer?

-yep

98. Your deepest fear?

-lets not go there

99. Pancakes or waffles?

-waffles but I don’t even like them that much

100. Are you still friends with anyone from high school?

-yep, my friend circle dates back to elementary

101. From 1-10, how good of a dancer do you consider yourself?

-7

102. How much of a patient person are you?

-I can be extremely patient. Once waited three hours in a dressing room with my friend and I didn’t have a phone

103. Do you know your IQ?

-no but its prob god level

104. Do you eat meat at all?

-mama loves meat

105. Do you own any clothes from a garage sale or a thrift store?

-I think so

106. Have you ever bought anything from a flea market?

-yess my mom used to take me to flea markets all the time

107. Have you ever quit a job?

-early this year

108. Have you ever gotten a song you dislike stuck in your head?

-many times

109. Any movie(s) you can watch over and over and over again and enjoy just as much each time?

-robots to ratatouille

110. Do you or have you ever worn glasses?

-just sun glasses

111. Have you ever skinny dipped?

-when I was like 6

112. Are your birth parents still together?

-yep

113. Have you ever been in the audience for the taping of a TV show?

-not that I know of

114. Favorite type of cookie?

-chocolate chip or the sugar cookies with the pink frosting on them (I’m a whore for them)

115. Have you ever been broken up with?

-nope

116. How often do you smile when getting your picture taken?

-most of the time

117. Have you ever accidentally dialed 911?

-yes I have and I was 6 and bullied for it for years by my uncle even though my cousins tricked me into doing it

118. Oldest memory?

-throwing a chair at a kid in preschool for stealing my cookie

119. Have you ever been the victim of a nasty prank?

-nope

120. How often do you snort when you laugh?

-uhhhh a lot

121. From 1-10, how good of a singer do you consider yourself?

-5

122. Favorite Disney song?

-uuuuuuhhh Shiny, See the Light, Why Don’t you Do Right, Show Yourself

123. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

-hopefully in la

124. What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?

-I’m an advocate

125. Have you ever had a fortune cookie fortune come true?

-I think so

126. Name one thing you wish people would stop posting on social media.

-fascist, racist, homophobia stuff

127. Last musical artist you saw live?

-Jonas brothers

128. Credit cards or cash?

-cash cause I feel like I didn’t spend anything

129. Favorite fandom?

-the powderpuff girls or fairy tail

130. What is your astrological sign?

-Aries

131. Have you ever been fired from a job?

-nope I’m a good noodle

132. Any hidden talents?

-I can do the cinnamon challenge

133. Can you surf?

-nope

134. What motivates you to do well in life?

-the fear of failure

135. Your worst physical feature?

-my acne

136. From 1-10, how much are you like your father?

-mehhhhhhhh like a 4

137. How lucky do you consider yourself?

-I’m a pretty lucky person ngl

138. Name a moment in your life when you were pleasently surprised.

-when I won a coffee maker at my senior grad night raffle

139. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty?

-nope

140. What type of shoes do you wear the most?

-my converse

141. Favorite summer activity?

-getting coffee

142. Favorite song to sing in the shower?

-any Taylor swift song

143. Have you ever lived with a roommate you did not get along with?

-my parents sometimes

144. Have you ever lived on a farm?

-my grandparents owned a cherry farm when I was little

145. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal?

-tumblr is my diary

146. TV show or movie you quote/reference the most?

-Always Sunny, The Office, Gotham

147. How often do you get mad at yourself?

-constantly

148. Have you ever gotten any stitches?

-only in animal crossing (he’s so cute)

149. Have you ever been hunting?

-no

150. Favorite YouTube channel?

-Jenna marbles, try guys, mukbang edit channel, drama channels

151. Have you ever had a pet besides a dog or a cat?

-I had a mouse once

152. From 1-10, how well do you work with others?

-9

153. Are you friends with any of your exes?

-I don’t got exes

154. Apple or PC?

-I have an Apple Mac rn but I think I loved my pc so much so I’m getting used to the format

155. Do you collect anything?

-what don’t I collect? Funko, pins, so much stuff

156. Have you ever seen any Broadway plays or musicals?

-I saw Newsies and A Music chorus

157. Any missed opporunites you wish you had taken?

-I’m not too sure

158. Have you ever uttered a spoken hashtag?

-yes

159. Do you have a pool at your house?

-nope

160. What is the longest you’ve gone without sleep?

-like 24 hours and it was hell

161. Last thing that made you laugh?

-a meme 20 sec ago

162. Disney or Nickelodeon?

-Disney

163. Name one celebrity you wish was still alive.

-Billy Mays (Oxyclean dude)

164. From 1-10, how much are you like your mother?

-maybe a 6

165. Your best physical feature?

-my hair

166. Earbud or earmuff headphones?

-earbud

167. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender?

-..hmmmm sometimes I think it would be cool but I’m pretty content with being a girl...

168. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your ear lobes?

-my nose

169. How often do you wash your hair?

-every other day usually

170. Showers or baths?

-I love a good bath but I take showers more

171. Have you ever been a bridesmaid or a groomsman?

-noooo but I wanna be

172. Bottled or tap water?

-bottle

173. What was your favorite TV show when you were a kid?

POWERPUFF GIRLS

174. Any guilty pleasures you’re willing to discuss?

-watching glee

175. Favorite video game?

-Mario kart

176. Have you ever gotten a New Year’s kiss exactly at midnight?

-nooooo why are there so many questions about kissing

177. How many of the United States have you visited?

-four, ive passed over a few more in a plane

178. Have you ever given money to a homeless person?

-yes

179. Have you ever gotten a surgery?

-no

180. Your least favorite food?

-cheese

181. From 1-10, how competitive are you?

-depends. I’m like a 6 but I can be pushed to a 10 when motivated

182. Do you like wearing hats?

-only a snap back occasionally

183. How much of a jealous peron are you?

-ehh not really

184. What was your SAT score?

-900-1100 (stop nationwide testing doesn’t work and I didn’t learn eveything)

185. Have you ever voted for a reality competition show?

-no

186. Does anyone in your family currently serve in your country’s military?

-my cousin

187. Snowboarding or skiing?

-I don’t do snow

188. What celebrity would you most want to play you in a movie about your life?

-jack black

189. Have you ever been a Boy or Girl Scout?

-hell no

190. Have you ever dyed your hair?

-many times

191. From 1-10, how good of a cook do you consider yourself?

-7

192. You have just opened up a web browser. What is the first site you visit?

-this cursed site

193. How many things can you do with your weaker hand?

-a lot

194. Were you involved in any academic clubs in high school?

-honors i guess

195. Have you ever played hooky from school?

-like twice

196. Are you comfortable with watching rated R movies?

—-not with my parents

197. Do you root for any sports teams?

-bold of you to assume i do sport

198. First thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

-pee

199. If you could take home any one animal from the zoo, which one would you choose?

-a lizard

200. Tell something about yourself most people don’t know.

-uhhh ummmm (I have a tik tok with 7.5k followers) 

[badtusk]

Quick cover for my alternate universe Pokemon fanfic 

Riley doesn’t remember the “good old days,” not many kids her age do. Pokémon battles have been phased out, the Indigo League disbanded and the Elite Four remembered only fondly by those old enough to say they might have battled them. It’s not so bad, it’s hard to miss something you never had, but that never stopped anyone from dreaming - and Riley has big dreams. Chasing the whispers of a rumored underground Pokémon league, she hopes to challenge the new Elite Four and become a Pokémon master.

I usually don’t share my writing on here, but you can find the first installment under the cut here too c: 

"Are you sure you want to do this, Riley? I mean, there are easier ways to get a Pokémon than breaking into the Old Lab. Besides, there's no way they have any old pokéballs left in there, they probably got rid of them all when they turned the place into a museum. I'm sure The Pika Cabin has some great Pokémon you can adopt."

"Liv, the Pika Cabin only ever has Rattata and Pidgey. Maybe a Snubbull. You look me in the eye and tell me Rattata is a great Pokémon," said Riley.

"They're cute," it was a very poor lie. Liv never liked rodents, not since her brother's Pikachu made a nest out of her favorite boots. The thing had given her a good shock when she stuck her foot in without looking. She cried.

Her brother still brings it up every family gathering.

"I don't really care if they're cute," said Riley, "if I'm going to compete in the Cinder Circuit, I want something that's going to win. Every new challenger is going in with Rattata because that's ALL anyone has. I want something different."

"Cinder Circuit?" Liv asked with a here-we-go-again air. "Come on, Riley. PLU shut down Pokémon battling years ago. There's no super secret underground league."

"That's the point of a super secret underground league," Riley said, "it's super secret."

"Where'd you even hear about it, huh? And don't say Bruce."

"He said he got his Pokémon from the Old Lab, from some guy named Big Hoss," said Riley, "Apparently this guy runs the entire League with his own Elite Four."

"Oh come on, Riley, you know he's just messing with you. And even if he's not," said Liv, "what're the odds this Big Hoss guy isn't some kind of sketched out dealer or something? You're going to go in there and get yourself killed, or worse."

"Look, if you don't want to go in, you can stay out here and be lookout," Riley said.

Liv jammed her fists into her coat pockets, "Fine."

"Text me if you see anything," Riley checked her Pokégear for good measure, noting her 45% battery life. More than enough for a "Rangers are coming" text.

She tucked it away and exhaled a calming breath, looking out at the fence that kept them out. She pulled the mane of pink curls out of her face and fixed them into a springy ponytail. Stray wisps framed a soft tawny face, her eyes magnified by gold circle rimmed glasses matched to a jeweled ring pierced through her septum.

Her mother hadn't approved of the piercing three years ago when she came back from Goldenrod with it fresh in her nose. She didn't much mind it now, bargaining that it was better than stealing or doing drugs.

Riley would be sure not to tell her about tonight.

"Be careful," Liv said.

Riley pushed her way through a hole in the fence and made her way towards the Old Lab.

Professor Oak's lab lay a ruin of memory, strangled by overgrown vines and dark shadows. Their fingers digging deep into the old bricks, spreading like an infection until the whole building was locked behind an iron gate posted with ugly signs marked :DANGER: and :DO NOT ENTER:. Bold letters, bold paint, hidden beneath a layer of dust and dirt, warnings that seemed just as apathetic as the Rangers that patrolled the grounds, punctuated with an indifferent shrug.

They had tried once to restore the old building, stripping away the rot and root and every broken brick in between. They'd dressed it up nice and plastered posters within her walls to hide the holes they couldn't fix. Old news, championships long passed and won; They figured history might thrive here, a nostalgic memory to the "good old days" when people and Pokémon battled to become "Elite." Because this is where it all began. But even that wasn't enough to save the old lab or the new museum it had become. Old display cases collected in their filth, glass like winter's frost, muculent like soap, but far less as clean or pleasant. The curios of the bygone sat beneath a layer of dust so thick they looked more like crude sculptures, ready to fall apart at the softest sigh. Monitors hung as empty black picture frames, silent in their omnipresence, cameras too still bowed over corners, soft fuzz prickling the glass that bulbed their eyes.

For so long it sat here, among all its dust and all the creeping woods, fading into the static of a familiar background where it became its own ghost. Remembered fondly by teenagers all for the wrong reasons, graffitied into the walls and littered upon the floors.

Riley clicked on her flashlight. The beam of light cut through the choking dark, filaments of dust drifting through its stream. She swept its light from one end of the hall to the other, murky glass casting back glares in what little clarity they had left.

She couldn't remember what this place looked like when there wasn't a gate and all those signs. Not many people could though. It's life as a museum was short lived, shut down when the Pokémon Liberation Union came to rise saying that it promoted "old and dangerous practices."

The laws came with great backlash and still did, not many people were happy about it or the dissolution of the Indigo League. But time passed, as it's known to do, and soon those people were old and the new generation couldn't remember a time where Pokémon battles were the norm.

But - there were whispers, quiet whispers, ones you had to strain to hear and question even when you thought you did. They called it the Cinder Circuit, the last burning coal beneath the ashes of a bygone era, an underground league that ran all throughout Kanto.

Riley had heard of it from a friend, Bruce, who swore to its existence on the grave of his mother. Which always made Riley laugh, seeing as Bruce had two dads.

She was skeptical, most people would be, that was fair to say, but being the daughter of a Joy, the idea of an underground league was more than exciting. And it all started here.

She crept down the hallway, keeping her light low and away from the windows looking out. Empty nips littered the corners of the hall with crumpled candy wrappers and cigarette butts that reminded Riley she wasn't the only one who had been here, or, was here. But listening close she could only make out the sounds of the wind and the Rattata in the walls.

Her footsteps never echoed, quiet in the pillow of dust and debris as she made her way about the Old Lab, peeking in every door, hoping to find something more than the vast nothing of a worthless museum's worth of crappy curios.

Pi! The text notification made her jump, panic already setting in as Riley feared the worst. She fumbled to pull her Pokégear from her pocket, sticking her light beneath her arm as she did so.

It was Liv, "Did you get in?"

"Shit, Liv," she breathed, "scared the hell out of me." She texted back: "Yes."

Pi! "Find anything?"

"Nothing yet. Any Rangers?"

Pi! "Nope, you're still in the clear. What's it like in there?"

"Like your grandma's house."

Pi! "Lol"

There was an emoji that followed after the "lol," but Riley didn't have it installed. She didn't bother to ask what the white box with the X through it was. It wouldn't change the message.

She tucked her Pokégear away and flipped the flashlight back into her hand, fighting back the shadows that threatened to swallow the halls and great empty rooms of the Old Lab.

She swore she saw one move.

And chose to ignore it. That was much easier than admitting it had moved.

She made her way down into a great open room, introduced by a 63 point font, bold letter Impact sign that read "Professor Oak's Lab." Outdated computers lined the walls, blank monitors reflecting back Riley's own complexion there in the dark. Old machines no one knew how to use were still plugged into wall sockets that didn't work, strange contraptions all tubes and screens, buttons and widgets, valves and half cranks. Riley fantasized their purpose, but didn't quite have the mechanical imagination for it.

She inspected each, leaning in close and bathing them in the light of her flashlight. She ran her thumb over their serial plates, reading the numbers as if they'd allude to whatever it was that they were.

Behind her, another shadow moved.

Or maybe it was the same shadow.

She listed across the room, coming about to the circular, flat top pedestal settled directly at its center. A glass display case enclosed its top where three pokéballs nestled neatly within, a faded stickers on the glass read "Bulbasaur," "Charmander," and "Squirtle." Distracted, interested, either way and all around unknowing, failed to see the shifting about her as the black of shadows melded with the floor, shrinking away from the walls and leaving them bare, as if nothing more a dusty drape left to hide the Old Lab from the New World, now there in a puddle all it's own just behind her heels where red eyes peered up from its void. Glowing. Ominous and dreadful.

Riley tilted her light to the case and could see the device that would project the Pokémon's data on the glass were electricity still working in the Old Lab. "Just a display," she told herself "there's no way they're real. No way they'd just leave some Pokémon sitting out like this." And stepped backwards, directly into that puddle of shadow where her foot sunk half an inch.

Startled, she pointed her light to the ground and couldn't help the yelp of fear that bubbled in her throat as her eyes met those glowing red slits of playful hate.

She pulled her foot up and pressed her back against the pedestal as the shadow pulled up from the floor, two spiked ears first, glowing eyes next and a wide toothy grin.

"Oh shit...a Gengar..." Riley exhaled her nerves in some big attempt to look calm in front of the wild Gengar, but her voice betrayed her when it broke between her words "H-hey there buddy, this your place? Pretty cool." She gave the Pokémon a thumbs up as she slyly made her way about the pedestal, unsure of what her next move was going to be.

The Gengar watched her with that unflinching smile, the glow of its eyes casting new shadows across the Lab, all seeming to smile just as big as it.

It wasn't stupid, she could see it in his eyes, the same type of look any manager might give in hearing whatever lame cover up you had to being late that wasn't simply just "I slept in." It knew. And she wasn't ignorant to that fact. She had to be quick, but most of all - she had to be lucky.

Riley's gaze flicked down to the encased pokéballs, then back to the Gengar as the rather ill advised plan began to knit itself to fruition.

The latch that affirmed the glass case over the pedestal was old and worn, rusty about the edges and one good wrench away from breaking. Riley didn't know the first thing about breaking locks, but she'd broken plenty other things without meaning to, so she assumed it wouldn't be that hard. Or hoped so at the very least.

'Screw it,' she thought, 'I'm going to catch it.'