#i could rant about the last point forever but i won't

[pinkxtrauma]

@deafandstoned send: ☎️ my first character i ever roleplayed 🍷 a character i want to write but never made a blog for 🔥 my hot take about the roleplaying community

MY EXPERIENCE IN THE ROLEPLAYING COMMUNITY / accepting

☎️ my first character i ever roleplayed

Harley Quinn, based in the Arkham games was my first EVER rp character. Had my humble beginnings on Bebo ( a BLAST from the past). My first character on tumblr was The Phantom from Phantom of the Opera.

🍷 a character i want to write but never made a blog for

ngl there's not many characters I want to write at the minute because I know i'm going back to nursing school so I can't really do that. Kakashi from Naruto is the only character recently because he's been my number one comfort character this year but I'm taking a break from Naruto Shippden (although considering resuming it shortly)

🔥 my hot take about the roleplaying community

I still firmly believe there's a bias against female ocs but I don't wanna get into it because it's a topic that's been done to death but considering the fact I really have to tone down my character for the slightest bit of interaction when I've written male muses who are just as unhinged but get praise and love for doing the absolute bare minimun is honestly so telling sometimes. I'm tired and completely over it now.

[roxygen22]

You know how everyone thinks Timothee looked sick/tired during the Dune event last night? Maybe a fic where he’d actually not feeling well and has to miss it and he’s extremely bummed but reader wants to him to rest because he’s been working so hard for his next project Marty supreme and it’s taking a lot out of him. Physically and mentally.

Thx ☺️ love you 😘

🥰 I hope you don't mind a slight tweak where he did go to the event but came home wiped out and irritable.

Written from female reader perspective.

Most Meaningful Role

You could sense Timothée's foul mood before he even reached the front door after the Dune 2 Q&A. It was evident in the little things - the speed at which he pulled into the driveway, how hard he shut the car door, the muffled growl when he dropped his keys trying to get inside. If he was a cartoon, you would have seen a little dark storm cloud floating above his head.

IG credit: tchallamett

The aura of the room changed dramatically as he stepped across the threshold. He never even verbally responded to your greeting. Instead, he flopped down on the couch next to you and laid his head on your lap.

You softly gazed down at the boy turned friend turned love of your life, trying to exude calming vibes to counter his ire. You noticed the purple circles ghosting his eyes masked the beautiful constellations of freckles you adored. Out of habit, you extended your hand to play with his hair, but you hesitated ever so slightly due its new shortness before diving into the longer locks at the top.

Timothée noticed, rolled his eyes, and sighed heavily. "I know, I know, my fans don't like it either."

You gently tugged his hair to turn his face toward you. "They don't understand how much you sacrifice for your roles. How much you put your heart and soul - and health - into your craft. I- I'm worried about you."

He scoffed. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not. You are exhausted all the time. I don't even remember the last time you came home happy. The last time you had the energy to go out on a date or a walk in the park or..."

You were interrupted by a low, exasperated grumble. Timothée sat up quickly and walked away from you to the kitchen island, all but slumping as he leaned with all his weight on outstretched arms on the counter's ledge.

Fed up, you continued. "Remember. I was here, watching you starve yourself for Beautiful Boy. I was here as you went straight from Bones and All to Wonka to Dune 2 to ACU, and now Marty, watching as your poured your energy into your fans and work instead..." you paused, unsure whether you should continue down this path. "Instead of us. I can't believe they still have you doing press for Dune anyway. Isn't it a bit overplayed by now?"

You instantly cringed, knowing you had crossed a line as you saw his shoulders tense, which blunted your surprise as Timothée slammed his hands down onto the cold marble counter with enough force to rattle the silverware in the drawers below. He turned on his heel, insult clearly written on his face.

"Over-? Guess which movies paid for that brand new car of yours in the driveway, huh? Or this house?!" he snapped back heatedly.

"Timmy, I-"

He held up his palm to cut you off. "No! I had to listen to you rant. Now you get to listen. Acting is the ONLY thing I feel a little bit good at. Take that away, and I-" his voice faltered. "I have nothing," he finished quietly.

In the deafening silence that followed, you visibly deflated, shrinking into yourself and hugging your knees on the couch.

"That's - UGH!" Timothée groaned and scrubbed a hand down his face. As you stared down at the plush carpet, you saw him tentatively pad closer in your peripheral vision. He sank to his knees when he reached the couch, looking up to lock eyes with you.

"That is *not* what I meant, Peach," he stated in a much calmer tone. "Without acting, I- I have nothing to offer. To you. The world. This face," he said, pointing to his own, "won't last forever. I have to make the most of it while I still look young."

"You're going to age prematurely if you keep up your current pace," you quipped tersely, breaking his gaze by moving your head to rest your chin on your elbow. "It won't be the end of the world to be typecast into the settled and married dad role, especially if that is what you are."

Your heart was nearly beating out of your chest. This wasn't how you wanted to tell him, but your emotions got the best of you.

Timothée sat back slightly. "I'm not a..."

You could almost hear the gears turning in his head. You shifted to look at him once again, your eyes now bloodshot from holding back tears.

"Dad?" he breathed.

You nodded. "I took a test this morning. Wanted to tell you when you got home."

"Oh. Oh, Peach! That's- I- " Timothée stammered. "You- we- we're going to have a baby?" he repeated with bewildered excitement. He practically launched himself from the floor, throwing his arms around you and peppering your cheeks with kisses while you laughed. He pulled back and held your face in his large hands, gently wiping a stray tear from the corner of your mouth with his thumb.

It was heartwarming to see genuine happiness light up his face once again, even if just for a fleeting moment before his eyes fell to the ground. "This should have been a happy occasion, but you are probably going to look back at this moment and just remember me yelling at you. One of the most important moments of your life, OUR lives, and I stole the wind from your sails." Now it was his turn to cry as he rested his forehead on your knees.

You gave him a moment to wallow, using the time to carefully think through what you wanted to say. You carded your fingers through his chocolate locks. "Timmy, you will *have* to slow down and take care of yourself if you are going to play a meaningful role in your child's life and mine. Pun intended. Is- is that still a role you want?"

Timothée moved to rest his chin on your knee so he could look up at you with his red-rimmed puppy eyes. "More than anything."

He pushed himself up from the floor to sit beside you on the couch. "May I?" he asked nervously, gesturing his hand toward your stomach. The corners of your mouth pulled into a soft smile as you nodded, to which he replied with a huge grin. *This* was how you had pictured this moment.

Timothée gingerly placed his hand on your belly and laid his head on your shoulder, idly rubbing semicircles with his thumb. He exhaled a contented sigh while you resumed watching the sitcom his arrival interrupted. Within just a few minutes, his idle movements ceased, and soft snoring began. Amused, you rested your cheek against the soft pillow of curls atop his head.

"Rest while you can, love," you whispered as you laid your hand on top of Timothée's on your stomach and let out a contented sigh of your own.

<><><><><>

Masterlist

Tag List: @croatianprincess @bluizh @jindongdongie @groovy-lady @pmak2002

[starry-eyed-wild-child]

🌻 tate langdon boyfriend headcanons 🌻

tate langdon x reader

💜 oh lord, buckle up guys, you're in for a wild one

🧡 he definitely fell first and 100% harder and you can't tell me otherwise

💜 we all know how tate is, he's very clingy and he's very very possessive of what's his. and that's how he views you, you're his and nobody else's

🧡 would definitely stay hidden at first, just so he could watch you for a bit. at this point, there's nothing about you that tate doesn't know

💜 when you finally meet, tate swears he could die all over again and he'd die happy

🧡 tate would definitely act more innocent than he actually is. this boy knows how to cry on command and he will use it to his advantage, don't think just because he loves you that he wouldn't

��� if anything, he does it because he loves you and he can't have you leave him like violet did

🧡 i hope you like nirvana, because tate will not listen to something that you like if he doesn't enjoy it. he's not very good at that

💜 tate always needs to be touching you. all the time. whether it's an arm around you or holding hands, this boy craves physical touch and to be the centre of your attention

🧡will probably try his best to get your friends to stop hanging around you so he can have you all to himself. will deliberately scare them to stop them from coming to the house

💜 would also certainly lie about ever doing such a thing were you to confront him about it

🧡 tate wouldn't ever want you to ever leave the house., if he had his way that is. would hate it if you chose to spend time with other people

💜 like what did they have that he didn't?

🧡 he would 100% be the type that watches you even when you're asleep. or anytime, really.

💜 would definitely want you to commit suicide, so that you can be with him forever. you of course find this idea insane and don't think he actually means it

🧡 he does. he's 100% serious

💜 i can imagine that tate gives really good hugs though. the warm, bear hugs that you never want to leave because they make you feel so secure and safe

🧡 is very big on comforting you after a bad day. he'll listen to your rants, let you cry in your arms, whatever you need him for and he'll do it

💜 let's be honest though, it's probably just another way he gains your trust so that you won't ever think of leaving him

🧡 feels extremely guilty if he ever hurt you in any way, or upset you

💜would probably just disappear for a few days because he can't face the fact that he's hurt you. but obviously he comes back because the boy can't help himself

🧡 tate is your ride or die. he would die for you all over again if you asked him to and alternatively would kill for you if that's what you required

💜 makes silly little handmade gifts for you. tate can't leave the house so he has time to be creative

🧡 it's even better if it's raining outside when he makes them, it sets a nice vibe

💜 loves, loves halloween. the two of you would carve pumpkins together and sit for hours in your room telling ghost stories and drinking apple cider

🧡 if tate had his own way, you'd never meet his mother

💜you do eventually and she probably hates you lmao, but do we really care let's be real here

🧡 tate is the kind of boyfriend that would make a playlist for you as a present

💜 he'd try his hardest to make sure you don't find out about his past. which lasted about 2 months max because you're not stupid

🧡 violet, vivien and moira would try and protect you at all costs. they're like your three guardian angels, whether they decide to show themselves to you or not

💜 i imagine you'd actually get on with violet really well

🧡 this could go one of two ways with tate. he'd love it, both girls he'd loved were getting along, makes his life easier. or, he'd hate it. hate that you choose to spend time with the girl that broke his heart

💜 isn't really big on nicknames tbh, he thinks your name is the most beautiful word he knows, and so he wouldn't dream of calling you anything else

🧡 tate is 100% the little spoon, don't fight me on this

💜 absolutely lives for your affection. he thrives best on it

🧡 would be sweet but low-key toxic, so solid 6/10

[siffrinsfrozendreams]

This is my second time trying to make this post. it will probably be as much of a mess as the first draft but oh well.

Rant? Appreciation post? Character analysis? yeah idk what this is but spoilers for Act 5 and Twohats/secret ending ahead

Act 5 Siffrin lives in my head rent free. His break was SO good, and this post is me going off about them. Specifically, this post was brought on by how Siffrin tried to destroy the world, rather than themself.

It is very interesting to me how Siffrin bends and breaks reality and the world in this final loop.

How Loop, in their giving up, took it out on themself, but Siffrin takes it out on the world.

His last loop, their last attempt at breaking out of this eternal hell, because he can't do it again. They're hopeless. They're grasping at any sliver of hope they can, but at this point he can't deny how stupid it is. How pointless this is. How all this effort will likely amount to nothing, and that he's trapped here forever. That nothing will break them out of this.

"I know its stupid, I know its a long shot, but it has to be this!"

This quote from Siff's argument with Loop towards the beginning of Act 5 always stuck with me. Siffrin, this whole time, has always told himself that things are fine. As long as they have a path to follow, they'll be fine. Slowly, we see them struggle with keeping this up, but he always comes back to it.

Not this time.

This time, its all too much. He knows his plan is stupid. They know this won't work. Why would it? But also... what else can he do? What other choices does he have? Being honest with themselves and admitting that this won't work is the same as admitting that he's trapped here forever. That reality is seeping in, but he's still struggling for whatever shreds of hope they can manage. Whatever flicker of light they can see, they'll take it, even if they know the light will go out as soon as he does. Even if he knows it will amount to nothing. He has to.

Then he realizes that Loop knew there was no escape.

Siffrin can't take it. He can't take it, because it means Loop knew this whole time that Siffrin was stuck here forever, that they knew there was no way out of this, and that they were just stinging Siffrin along this entire time.

Siffrin's guide, his helper, the only person/being who knew about the loops, the only reason Siffrin wasn't completely alone this entire time... lied to him. Strung them along. Gave them false hope that they could see a new tomorrow. And it fucking breaks him.

Already grasping for whatever shreds of hope they can, now forced to face the reality that he'll be stuck here forever. Loop lied to him. They can't trust them. So he leaves, and never contacts them again.

Then they return to the Clocktower, only to hear his family talking about him. To hear Odile say that they can't trust him, and none of the others disagree with her.

Siffrin. Is. Alone.

(Which, funnily enough, is the exact opposite of what they wished for.)

The only person who knew about the loops, Siffrin's guide, is a liar and untrustworthy. Siffrin's family doesn't trust them anymore, and are planning to leave him behind.

Siffrin is tired. They're also out of options. So, what else are they supposed to do, aside from the only thing they can at this point? The only thing they've ever known...

They enter the House.

He has to take down the King himself.

His last shred of hope. The last flicker of light before they're plunged into an abyss of despair. Their final attempt at ending this loop, no matter the cost.

Alone.

What else is he supposed to do, who else are they supposed to lash out at, aside from the world itself?

There is nothing left for them here. No one to go back to. Their family hates him, and Loop is untrustworthy. They can't even remember his own blinding country, can't read or speak the language, and can't remember anything about it. Everything he could be holding onto is gone now.

So, he takes his anger and despair out on the world itself. On the House, his eternal prison. On the sky, with stars they don't recognize. On a world, that will forget him and abandon him just like everything else has.

Because, either he breaks out of the loop this time, or there won't be a world to come back to to loop again. Because they can't do it again. Not anymore. They've had enough. What's the point of going on any further? Whats the point of trying to open a door that doesn't even exist?

Its either this, or nothing.

Loop had no one from the very beginning. They were alone for it all. When they gave up, they took it out on themselves. Who else was to blame for their suffering, after all?

Siffrin, however, had Loop. They weren't alone for any of it. As hopeless as they felt, Loop was there to help him. That is, until now, and Siffrin can't handle it. Can't handle the only person whose been supporting him through this knowing that he was trapped here forever from the start.

Of course he'd take out his anger on a Universe that betrayed him. What else would they do?

[dilvuc]

I'm back >:)

So my request is very simple. It is a continuation of the Sampo x Fashion Designer Male Reader.

Giving them a secret relationship isn't always gonna last long, no? So I have this nice idea on my mind.

While the reader is talking to Gepard, the guards ship them (Gepard and the reader doesn't know), maybe even Pela joins in because why not? It's fun to ship your co-worker and your designer from time to time.

So while Sampo is walking down near the restricted zone (or maybe even areas where there are guards) he overheard their conversation. He didn't mean to! He just wanted to know what's the hottest gossip about the Silvermane Guards! He didn't know that he's beloved was shipped with the Landau Captain.

From here I'll just make it briefly.

Sampo gets jealous (somehow) and he's moody

Seele notices this

They talk about it (more like questioning Sampo)((Sampo trying to avoid the question))

Seele listened to Sampo ranting about some guy he's dating (Sampo describing the reader)

Seele meets the reader first time and puts two and two together.

Seele talks to reader about some guy (Sampo) being moody because of him

Reader confronts and comforts Sampo because, yes.

-Li anon <3

(sorry if I seem annoying in chat by the way)

❝secret relationship❞ pt. 2

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: fluff

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗: male

𝖙𝖎𝖙𝖑𝖊: secret relationship: misunderstanding

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: sampo x m!reader

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌: none

𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: now that you two are secretly dating, people have not find out about it except in the underworld. the overworld started to misunderstood you and gepard as a couple which made sampo also misunderstood this and think you were cheating on him

“Again with the cape? What were you thinking?” you huffed while examining gepard’s ruined cape. gepard embarrassingly apologized, “S-sorry…It won't last like this forever…”

“Ugh…I should find a way to keep your cape from going into ruin.” you sighed before pointing your finger into the blonde's chin, “This'll be your last time, got it?”

gepard gulped, “Got it.”

“Good…I'll fix up your cape and from now on I will no longer charge you. Consider yourself lucky…” you deadpanned. the blonde haired male chuckled, “Right…”

“Don't you think Captain and [Y] make a great couple? They seem so close.” One of the Silvermane Guards gossiped.

“Yeah. It's obvious since they always physically touch each other like they're dating.”

“Ha. I say that they're secretly dating~” Pela smirked, grabbing the attention of the guards. “Captain was the first customer when [Y] started his business. They spoke to each other all the time.”

Unknownist to the Silvermane Guards, a blue haired male was eavesdropping on the conversation. He was disappointed when he found out that people in the overworld are shipping the captain and his beloved. that's completely unfair…

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

“I can't believe I've been cheated on by the one person I loved…” sampo sighed with disappointment, rubbing his temper. he obviously thought that his beloved was secretly dating gepard behind his back. It really hurts to think about it. dear aeon, does everyone hate him in this world? were you just using him until he let his guard down so you could turn him into the silvermane guards? aeon, he's overthinking it. he doesn't think you would do that, right? right?

“Geez. I can't take it anymore.” seele groaned. “What's the deal here? Why are you sighing so much? It's getting annoying.”

“Nothing…” sampo frowned. seele narrowed her eyes, thinking that the male was lying. the sadness in his voice sounded real. too real. she sighed, placing her hands on her hips, “Ok. What's up?”

“I don't wanna talk about it.” sampo looks away with a huff.

“Come on. You know you want to talk about it. Tell me what the hell is going on with you?” seele furrowed her eyebrows.

“Oh. Nothing, a certain diva fashion designer was being shipped with the silvermane guard captain. They seem so close that it's almost like they were secretly dating.” sampo protests almost immediately. “The pretty boy with such great fashion sense, cool [h] hair, beautiful [e] eyes, and cute face is probably using me as his pawn or something in order to bring my guard down to turn me in, is now being physically attracted to the captain. It looks like I’m the fool to think that someone finally loves him.”

“...Geez, that's rough. Maybe I can meet this “boyfriend” of yours.” the female hummed, rubbing her chin. to be honest, she has never seen the two together in the underworld at all. she heard about them, but never believed it, so she wants to meet this guy that sampo describes.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

seele arrived in the overworld to look for the “boyfriend” that sampo describes. great fashion sense, cool [h] hair, beautiful [e] eyes, and a cute face. the last one sounds stupid. what guy has a cute face other than the bronya? seele notice a shop with clothes at the window, so…that must be where the fashion designer is. unexpectedly, she didn't have to go inside because you were already outside…looking for someone, perhaps?

seele approach you, “Hey, are you that ol’ fashion designer who designed Bronya’s uniform?”

“Eh? Yes, I am. And, you are?” you raised your eyebrows at the female. seele sigh, “Listen, a certain fool was complaining about another guy. He thought he was cheating on him with the captain.”

you were trying to process who the female was talking about but the word “fool” caught your interest. she was talking about sampo. that fool, but why is he complaining about you? cheating? he wouldn't think that about you, right?

“Ah. I see. I'll see what I can do to clear off the misunderstanding…” you sighed.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

you arrived at the underworld to look for sampo. you were hoping to clear off the misunderstanding between you and gepard. you ask natasha about his whereabouts and she stated that the male was certainly at the mine.

sampo seated at the camp complaining to a peak about you and gepard. “Can you believe it?! I have been cheated on, huh? That no-good, sharp tongue…”

“Go on. Sharp-tongued…?” you trailed off, startled sampo. the blue haired male looks away with a huff, “Aren't you supposed to be with your…so-called boyfriend?”

“So you heard the rumors, did you?” you sweatdropped. “Don't be so dramatic about it. It's not like the rumors are true.”

“Then why are you so physically touchy with the captain all the time, huh?” sampo argued. “You're never touchy with me. I want to be touch, attractively~”

“It's no big deal. It's just a touch.” you deadpanned.

“Hmph. How come you never let me be free as charged? I'm your boyfriend after all.” sampo scoffed.

“Just because you're my boyfriend, doesn't mean I give it away for free. Besides, Gepard only gets a free cape once.” you stated. sampo pouted, “Do you really love a con artist like me? Someone who likes to toy with you? Or get on your nerves all the time? Someone that not many people like?”

“...Yes. I love your dumbass. I enjoy you toying with me even if it backfires. Yes, you get on my nerves, but that doesn't mean I will get sick of you.” you admitted, stepping closer to the blue haired male. you then hold a bouquet of flowers, “There are no others like you. I don't wanna find anyone else besides you. Fuck the rumors. You're the one for me, dumbass.”

sampo turned into a red tomato, turning red from head to toe. he can feel eyes on both of you. you weren't done yet, “I'll marry you to prove that you'll be my idiot forever.”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! L-let's not take it to the next level!” sampo stammered, feeling embarrassed by the fact that the people were cheering for you. oh my fucking god, he loves you so much.

╰┈➤ author note: please note that this is a slow update. i will still accept your request, but it will take a while since i'll be working on my books on wattpad. if you wish to read those books, here's my wattpad account.

rules

hsr masterlist

[smittenmeraki]

Surprisingly not SBG related 😅

I just finsihed reading All For The Game and I am so hyperfixated and need to rant about it

Spoilers

1. People do not talk enough about how Neil told Kevin to get his pycho on a leash or he will and the forever after Andrew told him to never pull his leash again, they highlight his perfect memory all of the time and this is just another one of those moment but like Andrew knew that Neil was right when he said that. He does have a leash, and Kevin has pulled it a lot, whether he means to or not. But Neil has it too, but he doesnt use it the same, instead he holds tight and gives Andrew the choice, every time he give him the choice.

Like Andrew knows wholeheartedly Neil is his weak point even if he refuses to admit it but he has to say something about being emotionally manipulated, but I think it was more of a warning than a threat. He knows Neil has an upper hand, his 'dont pull my leash' seems more like 'you can make me do anything with a single word and that scares me' Neil is different to him and I think he is so entranced and terrfied of that realization, hints the 'its not a this' because if it was he could lose it. He has been pulled and pushed and dragged around for so long, he refuses to let the one person who asks him to do the same. Neil doesnt need to manipulate Andrew because Andrew is so willing to do anything he asks.

2. The whole please conversation broke me. I had to take a moment to calm down because it hit so horribly close to home. Andrew has been used and assulted and belittled for simply being there. He so desperately wants affection, who doesnt, but the memories of someone doing things to him against his will is so haunting. Thats why the yes or no is so important to him every single time, nevermind the always, he will ask anyway, because no one ever asked him. His 'no' was vetoed and his 'please' ignored. Neil didn't even need to know this to stop cold in his tracks the moment Andrew said to. Neil knows Andrew doesn't like to be touched and the breif moments when its allowed are barely okay, so he doesn’t push it because he doesn't want to lose those moments. He is willing to stand with time and wilter waiting for when its okay again. Yes sometimes he has reached out or crossed a line but several more times he reminded himself, he doesn't like to be touched. 'His hand froze a hair away' 'he remembered last second' and so many more times he forced himself not to because he has no right. Andrew sees this, sees how he is so willing to actively not hurt him. Neil disgards the times Andrew has crossed a line, has hurt his friends or got so angry he saw red because he undrestand how desperately Andrew is searching for control, of anything, he's never had it before. He could have killed Allison for slapping Aaron. He so tightly holds onto the few things he has. He won't let someone hurt or break or take anything he has left. Which is why I believe he hesitates when Neil says he's not going anywhere, because he has fought tooth and nail for all he has, to keep Aaron who wants to leave, to hold himself together after all he has been through. Neil is willing to stay by his side and asked Andrew to stop fighting for him. The simple 'no' followed by 'thats why' is all Neil needed to understand, Andrew wants Neil because he is willing to put himself aside. Because his 'no' means so much to Neil, and he would never break it.

I came so close to tear with these books 😭

[eluminium]

SKIZZLEMAN WEEK LETS GOO!!!! May not have actually written and finished something for like two years BUT SKIZZLEMAN WEEK IS MORE POWERFUL THAN PROCRASTINATION!!!!

Thank you @skizzlemanweek for organizing and creating these prompts!

Prompt 1: Silent/Shout

-

It had been a weirdly silent few weeks on Magic Mountain.

Well, kind of. Of course, with seven hermits nearby and many more in horse riding distance, real silence is quite a rare phenomenon. But for the residents around Magic Mountain, an uncomfortable stillness louder than expected had settled into their hearts lately. As she cleans out the bones of her latest catch, Gem remembers mentioning it to Impulse recently.

"I didn't realize how much the man talks until he was gone. And now I'm like: Oh, this is what it's like for there to be silence, actually!"

The man in question? None other than Skizzleman, of course! Who isn't dead, just on some off-server business of some kind. At least that's what he told Gem and the others before leaving.

She rolls her eyes fondly at how Scar started talking about some conspiracy theory of his where Skizz is some heaven-sent spy barely a tick after Skizz took his leave. A rant that resulted in poor Mumbo explaining to a confused Joel that Scar's comic-book hero phase last season had some lasting side effects.

She unceremoniously drops the fish bones into the river outside her new anglerfish-shaped fish shop. They hit the water with a small splash before sinking into the murkiness below. Gotta give back to the river! Otherwise, it'll get mad. That's basic fisherwoman knowledge.

When she turns to head back inside so she can put the fish on the cutting boards away, her eyes catch the faint silhouette of Skizz's pyramid in the distance. The sight of it makes the silence around her somehow more prevalent. A sigh leaves her. She misses him. She never thought that the silence he leaves behind would suck this much.

But as she heads back inside, Gem reminds herself that she won't need to miss him for long. He said he'd only be gone for a few weeks, so he's due to be back pretty soon. Then she can go back to poking him for being old or something. In fact, she can almost hear him shout an overdramatic "HEYYY!" already as she points out that-

Wait.

She quickly drops the floppy boneless salmon in the chilled chest and rushes out the door. She may have a good imagination, but it's not THAT good! She looks around rapidly until her eyes catch something. Two figures in the distance. She squints, but it doesn't really help, so she pulls out a spyglass instead.

She can't help but gasp in surprised happiness when she spots familiar feathery wings and a bright spinning halo. It's Skizz! He's back!

Of course, Impulse stands next to him, his demonic tail flapping wildly in excitement. They seem to already be caught up in a conversation. Typical them, can't leave each other alone for five seconds. Seems like the perfect time for her to come and deliver some made-with-love Gem Punches!

But just as she's about to put the spyglass down and run over, she spots a shocking change in Impulse's facial expression. The happy smile decorating his face melts in a tick into something unreadable. (Fear? Annoyance? Teasing? A mix of that and more?) Confused, Gem stops and pans the spyglass over to Skizz's face. Is he…Is he making kissy faces at Impulse-?

Before she can even process what's going on, Impulse looks in her general direction and RUNS. Full-on sprints at top speed in a manner Gem would be impressed he could do if she wasn't so caught off guard. The spyglass quickly disappears into her inventory as she watches him approach with Skizz hot on his heels.

"GEM!!! HELP!!!" Impulse shouts in a clearly overdramatic tone.

"You can't run forever Dipple Dop!!!" Skizz cackles manically.

"What are you idiots doing?!" She tries to put on a tone of playful annoyance, but her amusement leaks through like water through a hole in a boat.

"He's gonna kiss me on the cheek, Gem!!! You gotta help me!!!" Impulse squeals as he runs around in circles on the shore, skillfully dodging Skizz's attempts to grab him.

Gem can't help it. She bursts out laughing so hard it almost hurts her throat. These dudes, she swears. Obviously, if Impulse was actually uncomfortable with the situation he'd tell Skizz, and they wouldn't have a silly goose chase on her front lawn, so she feels rather justified in cackling at his supposed misfortune. And she only laughs harder when Impulse lets out various desperate noises of desperation, which are comical enough that Skizz has to stop his chase because he's laughing too hard. His hands land on his knees as he completely loses it together with Gem. Impulse giggles and stops in his tracks instead of running further, all but confirming that they're just messing around.

"Wow, Gem! I beg for your help, and you laugh at me? I thought we were friends!" He says in an overly hurt tone while crossing his arms and sniffling dramatically.

Gem opens her mouth to respond, but before a single syllable leaves her, Skizz pounces on Impulse and finally scores his victory by snagging a smooch on the man's cheek. He even manages to catch Impulse in a hug. Gem lets out something between a cheer and an "awwwwwww!" as Impulse wiggles in his best friend's grasp.

"I missed you, Dipple Dop!" Skizz says with happy sincerity as he squeezes said Dipple Dop.

"Missed ya too buddy" Impulse responds, sounding like he's getting all air wrung out of him. He pats Skizz on the back. Skizz, in turn, lets him go and turns his eyes to Gem, still standing in the mouth of her anglerfish. He wastes no time jumping into the river, splashing water everywhere, and then swimming over to her.

"And I missed you too, Gemstone!" He cheers as she helps him up onto the solid (?) ground.

Gem can't help but smile as she tackles him for a hug of her own. As his sturdy and comfy arms wrap around her she feels, more than hears, how the hush around Magic Mountain fades away as one of its seven lively mountaineers has come home once again.

[goodluckclove]

Hello! I’m an aspiring author and I was wondering how you got people to get invested in your story and characters?

Well first off I'd bet upwards of 30 dollars that you aren't an "aspiring writer". While I'm firmly in the camp that you need to at some point write something to be a writer, I also believe if you've ever made any attempt to write anything you're past the point of "aspiring". You're doing it, man.

Even if it fails? Especially if it fails. Most of my career is failure that's like a third of my job.

If you haven't tried to write anything yet, you can open up your word processor right goddamned now and churn out 500 words of whatever-the-fuck, and then you'll be done with the label of aspiring writer forever.

Rant aside - that's been building up for a while, but no one's referred to themselves in that way to me directly before.

Okay, so my secret to creating stories and characters that people can get invested in. Because I guess at this point I can say that I do that. My secret is going to sound really weird and kind of mean but maybe it can help other writers. Here it is, put simply:

I have a very low awareness of other people's ability to engage with my work, positively or negatively, and because of that I am hardwired to create solely for my own amusement.

Maybe it's because I was writing alone for about ten years. Don't get me wrong - I value the critiques I've gotten from beta readers. I understand the use of beta readers now. And I do love positive feedback. Oh man it's been such a pleasure being able to have people to talk to about writing, just the highlight of my creative life. But if my engagement plummeted and no one spoke to me on this Tumblr ever ever again - which I hope doesn't happen - that wouldn't stop me. I'd be sad for maybe a few days, but ultimately I'd keep posting little snippets and sharing insights on writing and doing exactly what I'm doing now.

I essentially treat my Tumblr like I did my high school WordPress, which I don't think anyone read. I still posted because I found it fun.

People talk about writing for yourself and they debate whether or not it's valid or pick-me trash. I don't get that argument because it's not really - like - optional? In my opinion? It's not the only thing you need to do, but I do believe it's a thing you need to do.

My last book is like 188k words. That's fucking long. I fully believe the reason a majority of positive feedback comes from the fact that I wrote it in full earnestness towards what I liked and wanted to see in a story. I did think of the reader, but mainly to the extent that I would want a writer to think of me as a reason. Which is mainly in creating a literary landscape that's comforting and exciting in a safe way. Because that's what I wanted to do.

I'm a deeply, deeply selfish writer by nature. Sometimes I worry about markets, or trends, or whether anyone would want to read 4-5 asexual epics where like one major plot point happens per book. But then I get distracted by something, usually writing whatever happens next, and I eventually lose interest in thinking about it. And I firmly believe if you commit to the bit to that obsessive extent - I mean, it probably won't get you commercial success. I am the wrong person to talk about gaining commercial success. But with the right marketing tactics it could gain you cult notoriety.

Frankly my whole goal in life is to be a sort of asexual John Waters type. Like just a kindly, strange, vaguely Eldritch queer with ramshackle production capabilities that just end up happening somehow. That's the dream.

[yansimstorythatiwillnotworkon]

Raibaru Fumetsu

Name: Raibaru Fumetsu

Gender: Female

Class: 2-1

Club: None

Persona: Heroic

Reputation:

Overall: +13

Liked: +10

Respected: +20

Feared: +10

Crush: None

Strength: Peak Physical Strength

__

Respectfully, I hate Raibaru with a passion. It could be pent up irritation of getting my arm broken by someone who still wears pigtails several times, it could be that she singlehandedly makes killing Osana harder than Amai, and it could also be that I hate video game logic.

Of course, this post isn't about me ranting, but I will say something about the video game logic bit. I understand that Raibaru is meant to be invincible, and I'm okay with that in the game, but based on how my story is built, I'm not sure if I want to keep that in. Unlike Raibaru, Budo is evidently physically strong (as you can only really see in the art), but Raibaru is clearly smaller and thinner.

By all means, Raibaru can be the strongest female in school, but I can't possibly fathom her being stronger than the strongest male in school, mainly because it's biologically impossible. Raibaru being weaker than at least Budo would add something realistic and actually make her an easier obstacle for Ayano during Osana' week (I say this while promising literal supernaturality in Oka's week).

Another reason she irritated me was her literal obsession with Osana. You can have a friend that you spend all your time with, and I know that if Raibaru wasn't around, Osana would be a loner, but at least at that point, Raibaru would have a personality. And a life. When I saw that trivia video, it honestly didn't give me much light on Raibaru's obsession.

He could have said something along the lines of "Raibaru was always hated by other females for something or other, and Osana was her first female friend", but he just said that she wants their friendship to last forever because she's "never had a friend like her", with no further explanation. Frankly, I'll just be using my excuse back when I was obsessed with Yansim.

As stated above, the reason why she sticks around Osana as if she'd die without her (wink wink) is because she's honestly paranoid that she might. I won't go into detail, but in middle school, Raibaru had a friend. Some incidents happened, and the one time she decided to give herself some "me" time, she found out that her friend had taken his own life.

That's only a rough draft idea as my idea way back when wasn't really thought through. But I do feel like the only reason you would live and breathe off one person is if you had a serious reason to do so. In this case, Raibaru just really doesn't want a repeat of that traumatic incident.

[virtualfungus]

was thinking about franmaya in bed last night and im so insane about them!!!!!!!!!

its mostly about the parallels (obsessed with them).

even before they really start to get to know each other (possibly just after the first trilogy), they feel that connection of a grim legacy they have to bear, and one they won't give up on either, with maya becoming the master of kurain and franziska still being a prosecutor.

then obviously, i think theres this forbidden (as in, pearl vehemently being against it at first) but enticing element in falling in love with the girl that prosecuted you. but thats also bc franziska is genuinely trying to become a better person. yes, she will keep saying shit like "this is the von karma's way", but over time, she wants to change what even is the von karma's way (*aggressively points to her dialogues with sebastian*)

they both really admire each others strength. speaking of which, i think franziska is one of the only person who really sees that strength in maya, bc its easy to think shes just quirky and dumb but my girl went through so much shit and yet she still smiles. ofc, not all of her smiles are genuine, but a lot are. franziska doesnt understand it at first, but comes to find her strength, her resilience, beautiful and especially inspiring; turns out being strong is not all about being tough and not showing emotions.

it may sound silly, but franziska realizes its okay to just be human and flawed (or what she perceives as flaws). bc of course franziska is deeply flawed, but either shes revering her flaws as a result of her upbringing or trying to suppress to the point of harm.

mayas like "its okay to show your emotions and be vulnerable". but, eheh... that means maya has to put her own advice into practice, which isnt easy, but is liberating.

they can both be unashamedly themselves without being judged. because before being the master of a technique that could otherwise very much disappear and that requires thorough training and being an international prosecutor taking down smuggling rings, theyre young women who had so much taken from them, including their childhood. they can be silly, they can be themselves without being their occupation first.

maya rants about the steel samurai all the time. franziska initially finds this show childish, but maya really sells it and just reading way too deeply into it, but hey, shes just so passionante and franziska loves when shes like that. on the other hand, franziska will read a shitty book and tear it apart and maya lives for the absolute violence.

of course its not always perfect. at some point, their relationship becomes long distance. on top of that, theyre not always the best at communicating their feelings clearly, especially in the beginning. franziska can get upset easily and always want to have the last word, so they can argue for a while. overtime they do learn how to communicate better and yeah.

would their relationship last forever to the point of getting married and adopt? honestly, probably not. but their relationship is deeply meaningful, and theyll forever hold the other in high regards.

there are so many other things i thought about and worded so well in my head yesterday but i forgor and now idk how to properly explain it.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Loki S2 Pre-E6 Thoughts

So I know that this is totally random content to give to y'all this morning, but I wanted to post up my thoughts about the series before its final episode airs tomorrow. I have, in the past, talked about my thoughts on S1 and how I really did like it until the last 5 minutes of Episode 6 and how out-of-nowhere-forced the Sylvie/Loki kiss felt (I was physically cringing about it).

Given how S1 ended, I was a bit wary about S2, but decided to watch it anyway, and holy hell I think Season Two is KNOCKING it out of the park. I'm loving it as much as I loved Moon Knight, and it's right up there now in my top 5. The episodes are SO cinematically beautiful, well written and flow nicely, the characters are all so charming, and the Mobius/Loki relationship is being built up so much that it COULD lead to more or canonization in the final episode. During the past 5 weeks, I've been lurking on the meta spaces for Loki on Twitter and Tumblr, and wow the nostalgia I feel for it, it SO reminds me of the hey-day of my Johnlock meta-ing before S4.

I think my only gripe right now with this season is that they wasted Sophia DiMartino... her character Sylvie feels like such a... filler character (like they just put her in there because she was in the first season and they didn't know what to do with her this season)? But I think ALSO she's meant to be a counter-mirror to Loki, to show that he ISN'T like her anymore, that he grew and changed for the better with the positive influences in his life, and unlike her he doesn't WANT to be alone and such. And they're REALLY making her so unlikeable this season for me... I'm glad that it's looking like they're pretty much not going the Sylvie/Loki route (and I honestly don't see how people who ship it think it will canonically turn around at this point), but the showrunners are having her have every interaction between her and Loki rather hostile, demoralizing, or toxic. And rather that, they're countering it by showing a more positive alternative for Loki with Mobius as his potential romantic partner. Which is fantastic because I've shipped Lokius since Mobius came on the screen in S1, LOL. I just think they could have done that in S2 without making Sylvie an unlikeable character (like have her be a cheerleader for them instead?) I dunno. It's a shame because I did like her in S1. Don't like her at all in S2. She's so MEAN to EVERYONE. To Mobius especially, like CHILL girl, let a man stress-eat, JEEZ.

And here's the rant I actually wanted to write this post about because I didn't want to clutter up other people's threads with it: So, every week, I usually watch breakdowns and review videos so I can understand the characters and their comic counter parts a bit better, and usually the breakdowns are really good because they show the nods to comic-canon things and such. But OMG these past two weeks, I had to stop watching the reviews because LITERALLY all of them ship Sylvie/Loki and are trying SO hard to prove that it's canon when the past few weeks it's only been more and more likely that it's not happening.

NONE of Big Name Reviewers (NRS and SC specifically, if ya know you know) acknowledged AT ALL the RIDICULOUS amount of romantic tropes and dopey staring that Episodes 4 and 5 had (Loki watches Mobius through a window the first time he finds him, and the second time before going to talk to Mobius again Loki LITERALLY groomed himself and then stutters like a lovesick teenager. It was very rom-com; and they're skirting around the fact that all the empty places in the TVA that Loki kept slipping to were ALL places that Loki tshared time with Mobius in... I CAN GO ON FOREVER HERE, AND AND AND that Loki is constantly panicking if he can't find Mobius). LIKE. NONE OF THE REVIEWERS, who literally break down all the episodes and point out shit like All That for het-ships, just won't acknowledge any of it!! They glossed over both Loki's and Sylvie's bisexuality confirmations in S1, and only briefly mentioned their genderfluidity in the comics and in actual mythology. I usually watch the breakdowns because I'm not familiar with comic lore so I find it interesting to learn about those backstories, as well as little details they find, but they've been dropping the ball ALL season, and EVERY one of them mention EVERY single breakdown that Loki just wants to get back to "his one true love Sylvie!!", like what are you smoking?!?!? I was getting SO FRUSTRATED because they skipped over LARGE chunks of E5, especially, just pointing out the surface level stuff instead. I literally turned it off after all that.

THAT ALL SAID, since episode one it's been clear that Sylvie wants NOTHING to do with Loki – she just wants to live a quiet simple life. Then when shit goes bad, she blames Loki for all the problems SHE caused, shits on Mobius every chance she gets, and then in that bar scene when Loki's bearing his soul to her, telling her that he wants his friends back and DOESN'T want to be alone, she basically is like "tough titties" and leaves him ALONE, showing she's not a friend at all.

But the reviewers literally just gloss over all of this. ANYWAY.

Ugh, sorry about that, that's been eating at me for like 3 weeks and last week's reviews finally just pissed me off so much because even casually watching the show I could see all this shit. I only REALLY started believing Lokius could happen after Episode 4 aired, and then Episode 5 had me reeling.

I am DYING to write meta about every episode as it comes out... I just feel that other people are writing better stuff than I could, and much faster than I have time for, and really it's nice to be on the reader side of things for a change. I just... don't want to add in my own two cents to their posts because I'd feel I'm intruding, is all.

I have lots of hope about where Episode 6 will go... like I'm feeling pretty good about them canonizing Lokius... However... I'm not gonna be disappointed if it doesn't get canonized simply because this is Disney and I am REALLY not thinking they're going to explore Loki's comic-canon genderfluidity and sexuality on a surface level.

Good thing I eat subtext for breakfast LOL. I lived through BBC Sherlock, hahah. BUT... can I get a third ship canonized in one year??? Is it wishful thinking? Oh, for sure. I hope so. I would be so happy if Disney even ACKNOWLEDGED that they love each other But I'm not expecting it. I'll be happy with another hug at least, or a forehead touch or hand holding. I'm a simple gal.

Honestly though, I do inevitably want the last episode to have Loki as the ruler with his friends, because they built up to this for 12 episodes, I DON'T want an unhappy ending for the sake of a twist or whatever. Truly let him be the Loki Who Remains (a callback to Episode One) as the Keeper of Time with Bea, O.B., Casey, and Mobius at his side <3

I LOVE the character development of Loki in this series, too. I legit didn't really care for Loki all that much in the MCU, but this series did the same to him for me that FatWS did to Bucky for me: Make me want to see MORE of them and their adventures with their new friends.

Anyway, thanks for reading and indulging me, I mostly just needed to get that rant out about reviewers and wtf people still think Sy!ki is happening. Feel free to discuss in the notes, I plan on posting a reblog with final thoughts after it airs on Thursday <3

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Hiii, miss me?

Now you want to kiss me (or have to? Wasn't there a song like that?)

This month my blog turned two years old. I got the notification in my email. Last year I made an entire celebration post by publishing the funniest/ridiculous asks I got. There were good times back then. Still. Not so much afterwards.

I wasn't the nicest presence in the last few months leading to me abandoning the blog. And I wasn't too discreet about it. Although there was more to it, a lot more. But I'll get there.

First things first. Why am I here when on the 24th of March I dramatically declared that I'm leaving forever? Well, that was a very emotionally-charged post and the result of a few factors. I'm not entirely proud of how I made my exit, but it's also a true reflection of my personality so there's no point in making excuses. Nevertheless, I will explain as much as I can (I still care about privacy, just like before).

On that Friday, I woke up excited. I took a day off from work (yes...I know), I listened to Face, watched the music video. All good. But I was also dreading a bit having to come here because I knew there was this expectation of me to come up with some thought-provoking analysis, say something smart and all that. I was exhausted on all levels, emotionally and intellectually. I had also promised to leave after the promotions were over, somewhere in the middle of April (who would have thought it would last 9 days? Not me), but the plans changed. Not to drag it too much, but on that day I also officially announced to some concerned parties that I'm changing career paths. You know, just something I thought I'd be doing until the day I die and I've been working towards for at least 10 years. No big deal. I was planning on doing it anyway, but actually saying the words and make it real is a different story. I felt extatic, full of adrenaline, so happy with my decision and at that moment, it felt the right time to close BMT. It was somehow directly connected. I made the blog as an escape and now I got the opportunity to turn the page over. It was perfect. Best day ever. I clicked post, I logged out, and then I sat. And after a while, the reality of my decisions hit me in the face. And I felt sad and empty because what the hell am I doing now and what is my identity? I closed my blog too which was my main hobby. And so followed some difficult days. And then it got better. And then bad again. And so on, because it's a roller coaster.

The thing is, I can change my interests, but I can't stop myself from being opinionated. And getting excited. And wanting to talk about it. And share all that on a public platform with some strangers that are interested in what I have to say. Or they used to. It's who I am.

This blog won't remain Bangtan Media Thoughts because I want more than that. I will rebrand this page. I could start fresh with a new blog, but this is still my space and I know some people were interested in reading about other things as well from me, not just BTS. I hope I can built something from that.

The blog won't reflect only a specific niche of interests, but everything that I like in terms of pop culture. From movies, music, fashion, gossip, you name it. Including Kpop. And if I feel the need to rant about Hybe after talking about Ryan Gosling's Ken, I will. Same about JM, JK or whoever I feel like it. If there is a good advice that I got in the last few months, is to adapt and not force myself to abandon something completely. Because it's not as easy as it sounds. And to be honest, it was easier to give up smoking than completely lose interest in kpop. It's a habit. Perhaps this new blog will reflect the way I try to deal with that. A bit more honestly, a little less discourse, certainly less essays because I don't have them in me at the moment. But never say never. This blog will be all me, not just BMT.

I will change the name and url 24h after I post this. This will be an opportunity for all my followers to decide if they want to stay or they are not interested in the new direction. Feel free to do as you please. I welcome new people and greet the old ones who didn't hit unfollow for some reason.

It will go like this:

Bangtan Media Thoughts > Reflections in a Critical Eye

New theme, new profile photo, new beginnings.

All the old posts will still be here. I don't plan on deleting anything. They are all a product of me and my brain and they have their place. I'll probably pin some new posts these days that have to do with the rebranding. It will be like a construction site, but it will be worth it.

One last thing though. After I abruptly left, I received some DMs. I saw them back then. I do feel sorry about those who wanted to check in with me or with whom I used to talk regularly. But I do hope that some of the things I said today will explain my behavior. I also won't start communicating again like that, at least for now. I always felt a bit pressured and I'm not the best at maintaining conversations in private. If that changes, I'll make that clear.

That's it for now. I'm excited. I feel like writing again so here's to another chapter.

My inbox is open and will be, just as usual. No more messages to BMT, but you can call me M. Like in the Bond movies 😉

[s-3lliot]

Nothing Lasts Forever

Currently listening to the song, “Nothing’s New” by Rio Romeo because it’s on my AziraCrow playlist right? And right now I’m working on this history project for my class on Greek Gods (MY CHILDHOOD— though completely irrelevant), and I took a pause to listen to the lyrics right? And of course I add songs to certain playlists based off of vibes, but a majority of a time it’s based off of the lyrics I hear in a song. So a few days ago I added this song to my playlist, but I lowkey forgot WHY so I listened to it all and— Jesus. 

BASICALLY what I’m getting at is that we all know that before Crowley fell, he was an Angel right? But he decided to question god and the almighty’s decisions, causing him to ‘saunter vaguely downwards,’ and y’know, FALL. And this was basically the start of his, for the lack of a better word, “betrayal” when it came to Heaven. Because he had been an Angel all of his life, most likely with the assumption that he would never FALL, especially not for simply ASKING QUESTIONS. I mean how much trouble could you get into for asking questions really? But then he did. Then he fell. The life he once had, in an instant, was taken away from him. 

Fast forward six-thousand-ish years later, and we’ve got the AziraCrow confession. Crowley finally realizes his feelings for Aziraphale, and then BAM! He’s hit with the whole Heaven thing. And I can’t help but link that with the lyrics of the song. SPECIFICALLY:

“So, won't you please spare me indignity?

And won't you please give me some decency?

And won't you please call it, if our time is through?

'Cause I know that we fall apart, when nothing's new, Nothing's new”

The reason why I’m mentioning this specific part of the song is because first of all, you’ve got the main thing I wanted to point out, which was the ‘Nothing’s New’ line. Once again, Heaven had taken something away from Crowley. First it was his ‘Angel/holiness,’ and now it was Aziraphale. 

But then you go MORE into the song lyrics, and god does the third line hurt.

“And won't you please call it, if our time is through?” 

GOD. This just sinks up with the other rant I made about the whole duality of Achilles Come Down and the confession—- because once again it brings me to my point that there’s just so much GOD DAMN miscommunication. And it drives me INSANE because I’m just sitting here thinking about how Crowley is left at the end of season two thinking that THAT’S what Aziraphale meant by ‘nothing lasts forever.’ 

Even looking at it MORE now, there’s yet ANOTHER VERSE:

“I want to be close to you but I don't know what to do— 'Cause if we are near to through, it may make it worse”

My heart? SHATTERED. Because I bet this is what was going on in Crowley’s MIND during the confession. That all he wanted to do was be with Aziraphale, it didn’t matter WHERE, just as long as he was with him. Earth? Space? Who cares, I’ll follow him anywhere. But then reality steps back in and you’re hit with the second line which just keeps making me think about Crowley’s last-ditch effort at trying to convince him to stay, A.K.A, a kiss—- A.K.A: Wanting to be close to Aziraphale, but not knowing what to do, and under the impression that they’re near to through, thus making it WORSE.

I hate this. 

[scyphosunny]

vargastober day 1 !! time to make pretty pieces !!!

HUGE RANT INCOMING !!!! LET'S GET TO IT

okay so it's currently almost 5AM and i set up an alarm in four hours but hey let's just write an entry right now :DDDD ( at this rate i will die soon

i remember that when i saw this prompt in the list , my brain immediately said " 20 / 21 " . YOU KNOW ME , I JUST LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH . and once i had all of the prompts , i put all of them in one of those websites to randomize the order of something ??????? yeah . and " memory " was the first one to appear . ( smiles mischievously

okay . . . of course i had to get something to do on the very first day . i'm going out with my famiily today , and i won't be back until tomorrow . . . great timing isn't it

so idk like three hours ago i had to SIT DOWN and work on this . i was extra stressed because i chose to work on some edgar / jake first , for some reason .

then my sister got home and YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS , IT'S CODE LYOKO TIME !!!!! it was like 10PM and i didn't want to get myself to work on it . i really didn't feel like drawing yesterday . but i still did , because usually that means i can just push myself a little bit and if i get something that i like at least a bit , i'll probably just work with it and enjoy it !

for this whole thing , i had an extremely specific reference saved SOMEWHERE on my phone . that thing when you see something neat , and you're like " hey i want to draw that " then , take a screenshot and forget about it forever . I HAD THIS ONE REALLY FRESH ON MY BRAIN THOUGH !! and even if there's plenty of things i could do for this one ( fuck , i even have a whole pinterest board for them !! and for the rest of the characters , really ) i really REALLY wanted to get this one done taking that picture as a reference .

it was a picture of a little girl kneeling down to get some flowers . . . and the whole thing just screamed childhood for me . i could probably just do the whole thing without a reference but i wanted to see the background and overall the slight blurriness to it . that would be harder to recreate without a reference . but i just had this picture floating somewhere on my phone's photos . i didn't even remember the year i took the screenshot ! and i didn't want to check through 13k pics on my phone to find it . i used to clean my gallery a lot , but since i got a phone with a fair amount of storage ( unlike last one ) i stopped doing it so much because it isn't really necessary anymore lolz . so yeah . . . i didn't want to look for it . last time i checked my phone's photos from last year i got depressed because i fully believe i had everything and lost it all . but hey that's not the point-

at the end , i did find the picture ! didn't take too long , too . . .

and here it is ! a tiktok screenshot of an age regression post . really fitting . i wanted it to have this kind of , hazy dreamy end to it . a memory . ( laughing

GOT TO WORK . I HAD TO . THERE WOULD BE NO TIME THE NEXT DAY !!!!!!!!!

first i made this incredibly poor sketch to see how bad it'd look because HONESTLY i didn't think i'd get it right first try . AND I HAD NO TIME TO TRY AGAIN

i've been working with backgrounds for a while , and one thing is certain . i SUCK at them i've already had two pretty pieces ruined by shitty / unfinished backgrounds . last one i made ( the fireflies one ) was at least a bit better . and well , IT WAS FINISHED .

the main problem i had with backgrounds is that , my art is pretty line heavy . and the way most people do backgrounds is just like , scribbling things around with big brushes and stuff . first time i tried . idk it just looked odd ! the characters were so sharp looking and the background looked blurry , almost . i don't even have a picture to show because the file of the piece i'm talking about got CORRUPTED at some point , so . . .

there's this guy on instagram that makes tutorials and just MAKES IT LOOK SO EASY IN WAYS I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND . i did notice something , though . . . this person started with the background first , then drew the character . made sense . i mean yes , that would make the character actually fit in the piece . . . . . . it's funny because yeah common sense OF COURSE you start with the background but MY BRAIN REFUSED TO ACCEPT IT FOR SOME REASON i don't want to draw boring backgrounds I WANT TO MAKE PRETTY CHARACTERS WITH PRETTY HAIR AND PRETTY CLOTHES

( by the way , this is the guy and this is the tutorial i followed ! check his art everything's so cool

i COULDN'T ALLOW MYSELF TO FAIL THIS TIME so i tried it this way . didn't take a lot of screenshots of the progress because i was like JUST FOCUSING ON GETTING THE PIECE DONE but hey i had some screenshots i sent to brusk

started with the sky . . . then added clouds , some mountains . . . brusk told me she liked it ! that it had undertale vibes lolz

then adding bushes . . . some trees . . . the place scri would be standing on . . . i watched the tutorial , got similar colors but still took the reference pic as well , a reference lolz

if there's something i hate , is detailing grass . really really hate it I CAN NEVER MAKE IT LOOK RIGHT . seeing just a nice , open field like this one made me think of another drawing idea i have for them

i have at least three pieces like this on my pinterest ideas board . i was like " what if i do something like this instead " but NNNOOO !!!! I HAD A REFERENCE TO FOLLOW ! and quickly got back to the original idea . hmm . . . i still want to draw a piece like that , though . . .

then , i just detailed the grass a bit more . . . added pretty yellow flowers .

i liked how it looked so far ! which was surprising . i usually never like my backgrounds .

then , TIME FOR THE FFFFFFUN PART !! SKETCHING THE CHARACTER !!!

this was the initial sketch . i keep saying " YYEAHH I DON'T DRAW LINE !! MY SKETCH IS MY LINE !! I'M COOL AND SUPERIOR " but nah this piece and most of them have at least the smallest sketches . i lied to you guys .

honestly . . . i didn't really liked how it looked . bleh .

still , chose a nice , pencil-like brush to work on the line . the background doesn't look really sharp , and i wanted to avoid the problem i talked about before ! characters looking solid and background looking blurry . i used this brush before for a little thing before and i thought it'd be harder to use . but everything okay .

this is what the line looked like at first ! love detailing lines and stuff but i didn't really give myself enough time to detail this one as much . half of the details would be lost , at the end . . .

flat colors ! and a pic of william looking like he's constipated on top lolz . that frame is so funny . i know he's suffering and getting his memory back BUT IDC . I KEEP WATCHING CL ANALYSIS VIDEOS . I CAN'T HELP IT , THEY'RE SO COOL TO WATCH

i had to make my colors a bit less saturated for them to fit the piece . you can't really notice at the end , since the filters i added made it look normal lolz

little break to talk about mmmusic !!! okay so , you know . i really like code lyoko . they have this fake band called " the subdigitals " and one of their tracks was used on the credits of the show . nice song . well , once i read in reddit that they had actual songs ! so , i searched in youtube and THEY DO HAVE MORE SONGS ! a fair amount of them , too . . . so i've been listening to them for days now . THEY'RE REALLY GOOD I CAN'T HELP IT

i really like how distorted XANA's eye looks here lol

( also this is just an excuse to show my old youtube . i love add-ons

BACK TO DRAWING . after flat colors , shading was next ! and oh i've seen people shade with purple since i was a kid . but i was like " that doesn't make sense . I'M DIFFERENT AND I'LL DO IT ANOTHER WAY " so i did , but IT JUST DIDN'T LOOK RIGHT . so i had to . ( sigh ) . shade with purple . ( and it looks great !

TO BE FAIR i do add a bit of a darker blue when shading but this time i just used it as it is .

oh also i did have to go back and correct the colors a bit for it to fit better . this time , i didn't color his hair like i usually do ! i wanted something less scribbly , more solid . . . i think it looks pretty . his hair is shining !

SCRI DIDN'T HAVE FEET AT FIRST i didn't draw them because i mean you can't really see them on the reference picture . but here it just looks like he's SINKING INTO THE FFLOOR OR SOMETHINg so i went back and added them . . .

coloring the line was really important on this one ! at the end , scri did look sharper than the background AGAIN so i tried and colored the line in a way that it wasn't that noticeable . i like it . should do it more often .

even after colring the line he still didn't so i had to save the background and a png of scri's character , set them on a different canvas and then blur scriabin just a little . I REFUSE TO MERGE MY LAYERS . YOU CAN'T MAKE ME

once the colors were set and done , i went to add a bunch of filters ! only to notice that !! i forgot the freckles !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! way to go , sunny !

( most of the pics i added here do have freckles on them because i took them after finishing the piece but . yeah

so i had to GO BACK get everything set and add the filters again . AND , AFTER 5 HOURS OF WORK , WE HAVE THIS PIECE !!!! i forgot the freckles because i don't add them as part of the line anymore . they were harder to color like this . . . so i just paint them on his face when i'm rendering . ah well .

i was strugggggling to find a way to crop it , and now half of the background it's gone . gggreat . i don't think i achieved that hazy feeling , if i'm honest . . . but i still like it a lot . so i'm pretty happy with the result .

( also , i should sign these . it's been a while since i signed any of these ! i just don't know where to add the watermark !

this is the pic with and without the filter !

then , i go to bed , get comfortable and warm . only to realize . . .

I FORGOT . THE YARN . ON SCRIABIN'S HAIR .

GOD DAMMIT

i tried to add it on ibis paint because i DIDN'T WANT TO COME BACK TO THE FILE , ADD IT , CROP IT , PUT THE 999999999999999 FILTERS I ADDED AND GET IT ON THE POST . let's just say it's on the bit of hair we can't see on the picture .

i fforgot it because !!!!!!!!! i ddddon't know !!!!! HOW CAN I FORGET THE MOST IMPORTANT PART WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU

oh , and also . this is how my canvases usually look . i make huuuge files just so i can have lots of spacte to add a bunch of references in the canvas and then crop everything out when i'm done using them .

like this piece i made for the askblog ! hahahahah

i don't really know if there's anything else to add . just that i'm glad i'm doing this , i'm glad i got this one done on time AND I'M EXCITED TO WORK ON THE REST OF THESE

happy october , expect more pieces soon ! :D

( also , as an extra ! here's the piece my 10y.o sister made for today ! lolol

( bbbbefore you come at me and be like " why did you show vargas to a ten year old WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU " i kind of . didn't ? and did at the same time ! she saw me drawng them a year ago , got interested and i explained their dynamic to her . now she knows them ! of course , she doesn't know the DEEP PART OF IT lol

[bistaxx]

An annoyance I specifically have about qsmp tntduo fics is that they don’t even (usually) try to be like the qsmp versions of the characters. They have them act like dsmp, rivals that have a weird homoerotic tension. While in the qsmp, we’ve had Quackity being obsessed with Wilbur and Tallulah < and being convinced that Wilbur was the dad and tallulah was his kid. This is just the early stuff but it’s annoying how they pretend it’s qsmp when it’s clearly not.

(TNT MUTUALS SKIP THIS POST- SORRY ILY I PROMMY SRY! THIS ENDED UP TURNING INTO A RANT LMAO)

(Also none of this is my griping over what people are allowed to write or draw lol- i'm just bitching for my own sake LOL)

Yeah that's definitely a major part of my annoyance too, not helped by the fact that I also dislike /r c!tnt LOL- And I was actually interested in what q!Tnt as dynamic could've been but canon doesn't offer a whole lot to work with these days and fanon like you said either just makes them a poor man's rehash of c!tnt despite their q! counterparts being VERY different form those men or, like a mutual of mine brought up in their post, reduce q!Quack into this poor sad little wet cloth of a man that ONLY qWilbur could ever understand or fix because he's the ONLY man who actually cares about q!Quackity... just ignore Roier, and Etoiles, and Forever, and Baghera, and Cellbit, and Bagi, and- You get the point lol.

I think my last straw personally was seeing everything that Quack goes through be made to be about Wil- getting Tilin? Him and Wilbur can raise them together despite us knowing Luzu was the other parent! He loses his child? Dw he can raise Tallulah with Wilbur! Quackity's been kidnapped and replaced with Elq? Oh no! Onyl Wilbur will ever care or notice :( Just ignore that Jaiden witnessed this happen- Quackity is back, but his memories are gone and his mind severely messed with? Oh Wilbur will fix him- he'll teach him how to read and write and take care of him and they can be a family alongside Phil Tallulah and Chay! Quackity's been kidnapped again? Oh no only Wilbur will care Part 2 even though everyone quickly noticed Elq isn't Q! Quackity (and Phil) have weird tickets? This must be related to WILBUR somehow?! Quackity's DEAD?!? OH NO- WILBUR WILL BE SO SAD AND DEVASTATED! Quackity's back but extremely traumatized and broken after everything he's been though? He needs Wilbur to hug him and heal him :((((((((((((((-

And I wanna take a brief aside to complain about how people treat them and the eggs too- See I really like Quack and Pepito's dynamic, so I give into temptation and look on Twitter to find fanart of them... only to see them paired with Wilbur and Tallulah... with Quackity's OTHER CHILD Richas nowhere in sight! Because he just... doesn't matter I guess even though the two still care about each other a lot and still call each other father and son! Also the god damned disservice this stuff does for Talsy's character too- yeah she'd so be running over to hug Wil with her current growing resentment of him- but to know that'd require people to acknowledge her as more then just Wilbur's cute little daughter who exists only as an extension of him- SOMETHING SHE'S COMPLAINED ABOUT TO PHIL. But back to Quack...

Would you believe me if I told you people also did this shit during KARMALAND too- A SERIES THAT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE WILBUR PLAYING IN IT! That during the early days people were CONVINCED that k!Quackity was secretly an amnesiac c!Quackity and he was only drawn to k!Luzu because he reminds him c!Wilbur... yes people really fucking said that and god it made me so mad I won't lie 😭 People can headcanon whatever they want that's fine even if I don't gel with, the thing is it was just everywhere during the early Karmaland V days and people were doing to most to push it 'canon' cuz God forbid Q exist outside of Wil or c!tntduo in this Spanish server.

Listen- I never wanna be That Guy who DEMANDS people stop doing this or that- people can do whatever they want- I get missing a ship, I still miss Karmaland Luckity- I just wished people cared about q!Quack for q!Quack and not just tntduo. q!Quackity is a very flawed screw-up of a man with a big heart whose been through Hell and even though he wants to give up still chooses to keep on going for the sake of his new child- not to mention his mysterious connection to Elq and being forced to be a pawn to Oscurucho! He has a lot going for him outside of his celebrity crush! He has a lot of really good and complex bonds with other characters- he has a strong friendship with Etoiles, Forever tried to look out for him after Quackity lost his memories and Quackity in turn was visibly distressed when Forever went missing, HIS WHOLE THING WITH ROIER- LIKE- Quackity being a major part of the betrayal at the start of the server and Roier in turn ruining Quackity's reputation on the server in revenge but Quackity still tries to help Cellbit fix things with Roier during Festa Junina, Quackity admires the strength of Spiderbit's love to the point that it makes it reconsider his own view of what love is after his fake wedding with Wilbur's cardboard cutout, Roier still tried to help Quackity regain his memories when Quackity found Tilin's old diary, Roier is listed as one of the most important people to Quackity, during his hell coma in the maze portion there are photos of him and Roier everywhere, they even share custody of a child now- but no, Wilbur is the only one who gets or cares about Quackity, okay sure.

Anyway rant over- sorry anon I pretty much just used your ask as an excuse to vent about all my grievances I'm sorry 😭 People can send more anons about this if they want but I prolly won't answer- I don't like to bitch too much on this blog- this is the exception to that LOL I don't hate qWilbur either- I just don't care for q!tnt.

[swannerina]

A Cup of Coffee  ˚    ⊹    ♡

Written by Swannerina WORD COUNT : 1069

⋆       ౨ৎ      ˚      He Probably likes You !    ⟡       ˖      ࣪    

Hazel was on her night shift as a barista, and was busy brewing coffees, lattes, and other things. She would yawn out of boredom, she could not wait for this shift to be over. She was working overtime since last week she came in an hour late because of traffic, which wasn’t a good reason to work overtime but it’s that or she gets fired. As she worked, she looked around to see the customers in the café, as always just the regular daily customers who would come to study and work on their assignments. Or the rare few who came to hangout with friends.

[  “This is so boring. I just wanna go home and sleep… oh shit, I still have that upcoming assignment..” ]

She would internally sigh. At this point, she felt like she could faint at any moment. College was hell and she hated it, the assignments, the projects, the lectures, the classes. Suddenly, while she was working she saw a familiar face. Rei, a regular at the café who would come in particularly often during her shifts. Rei then glanced at her, before approaching the counter Hazel was serving at. Hazel would internally cuss at the sight of him, she didn’t appear particularly pleased to see him at the moment. Despite the negative glares, Rei would continue to grin annoyingly. Hazel just sighed before preparing for the worst.

“Good day. I’ll have one ham sandwich and a biscoff latte, please.”

He said with an irritating smirk.. From the way he talked all the way to the way he smiled, she absolutely hated him. She cussed at him internally, but tried to appear calm. She didn’t want to be fired just because of this one guy she found annoying, despite that she really had a hard time keeping her cool, especially with the way he was looking at her. He had been acting really strange for the past few weeks, and at this point it felt like it was on-purpose. She really wanted Naoko or Dal to be there for that shift, but Dal was sick and Naoko did morning shifts.

“Alright, Name? And will that be all?” Hazel said, a hint of irritation in her voice. “Rei. And hmm…. No, I’ll also get..” Rei said before pausing for a while.

Hazel would sigh, knowing she would have to wait forever for him to make up his mind. She somehow knew that this was just his way to annoy her and get her attention. She just stood there for a while waiting for him to finally make a decision. He was taking forever and it was pissing her off, at this point she probably waited for a full 5 minutes for him to decide. During this time, she just stared at her phone and ranted on twitter about how annoying this man was. After waiting, Rei had finally made his decision.

“You know what, I’ll just have what I said earlier. I gave it some thought and I probably won't finish everything if I order anything else! “ He says with a smirk on his face.

“. . . That will be 12.99$” Hazel says, her voice with a great amount of irritation.

Rei grins as he gives her some cash, before going on, laughing to himself. It was a comical situation, something that Naoko and Dal would laugh at. Hazel sighs before beginning to prepare his pre-made order. Once she completed preparing it, she then gave him his order while sighing. She told herself to keep her cool, only 10 minutes until her night-time shift would end so she just kept reassuring herself that everything would be fine.

“Here's your order, enjoy.” She says, her voice tired and filled with annoyance.

“Great! I’ll be sure to come again soon.” Rei said to annoy her. He would then smirk, after having successfully annoyed her. He would then leave.

Hazel, relieved that her shift had finally ended, had already begun to prepare to head back to her dorm. While packing up her stuff, she chatted with Naoko and told her about the horrible shift that she had today. Naoko had replied laughing, finding the situation comedical. Hazel scoffed at this, knowing that Naoko would probably tell Dal about what she told her.

After her shift, Hazel would head to her dorms and see Cecil at her desk trying to finish an assignment. Cecil appeared to be absolutely dying, especially with the assignment deadline being tomorrow. Hazel would chuckle lightly at the sight of this, before suddenly remembering she also has another assignment that she needs to complete. She thought of the horrid shift she just had

“Working on your assignment huh?” Hazel said, before scoffing. “Procrastinating really makes you end up somewhere, huh?” She says, before sitting down next to Cecil. “I procrastinated way too hard. Now I have to design a weird ‘Optical illusion’ building. Really weird assignment.. But my Professor is weird so it makes sense I guess.” She says, chuckling a bit.

“Goodluck with that. I still have to finish my menu planning. . It may seem easy but I need to consider expenses, portions, time.. It’s a nightmare. As long as I get to graduate college, then I’ll finish it.” She says before standing up and laying down on the bed. “I had a horrible shift today..” Hazel said, about to rant.

“I know, Naoko talked about it in the groupchat and I saw it. That guy who annoys you a lot came during your shift today huh?” She laughs. Still doing her assignment, she still had energy to chat so that was good.

“Yeah.. He’s so annoying! I absolutely hate him. It’s like he’s purposely trying to irritate me… Well, he probably is..” Hazel says, sighing. She then goes to her desk and opens her laptop to begin working on her assignment. “This day has been absolute hell. I hate it.”

“You know how people say ‘If he bullies you then he just likes you!’ back in elementary right?” Cecil says, smirking. “Just an idea you know…”

“Do not suggest that.” Hazel says with a look of slight disgust. Cecil laughs at this, before continuing to work on her assignment. Hazel sighs and looks up at the ceiling thinking about things. Her and that stupid Rei guy? Was that even his name? She could hardly remember. Whoever this guy was, Hazel knew she just absolutely hated him.