#i could probably go off on a LOT more but ive been typin this for so long bro i cant do that to people lookin at my blog

[neon--nightmare]

Bro please give me some of your Fresh headcanons

FRESH HEADCANON OF THE DAY - This was originally a completely different write up about how Fresh doesn’t take proper care of his hosts or himself because he considers it a waste of time but this got so long and sidetracked that now it’s kind of a mini analysis I guess!!

So, for Fresh, his entire reason for being created AND the reason he’s survived this long is productivity. He refers to what he does, jumping from host to host, manipulating and learning more about the specific world until he finds a perfect seam to exploit, putting himself into a position where he can infect the whole world and move on to the next - as his JOB, and if he doesn’t keep going fast enough, well enough, if he makes too many mistakes he can’t bounce back from, he’d be replaced by a “better” version of him in a heartbeat, and he is SO aware of that! Every waking moment!

Of course, though, he can’t feel, so it doesn’t stress him out like it would for you and me!! He loves his job, which considering it was something he was literally designed and created to do, makes sense! He’s incapable of any emotion besides immediate fear for his life and anger in VERY specific situations, and the only thing he can physically get enjoyment out of is sadism (which also makes sense, it’s more motivation besides just survival to possess and toy around with his quote-unquote prey, and he also “likes” challenges - though mostly he couldn’t care less, they keep him entertained for longer, something that he’d consider fun)

SO for Base Fresh it’s not something to fall apart over, it’s more of a fact of life he adapts to! If he did end up ever developing emotions, though, the anxiety would be CRUSHING and immediate!! So, the solution is so repress and deny until he physically and mentally couldn’t anymore, and even then, he’d either crumble completely OR still probably try to force himself to keep going, because if he couldn’t do the thing he was created for, then what is he? What was the point of all of it, if he was just going to become what he’d always hated and mocked?

This is why, honestly, I’ve always preferred to write Fresh’s emotions as a gradual thing, slowly building up while he tries to deny that they exist, deny that he’s angry, or anxious, or acting irrationally in any way different than how he’s always been! Even if it reaches a point where it’s obvious to others, he’ll STILL try to deny it in 98% of circumstances, because it’d be both showing weakness, and whole he can’t admit to others that something’s wrong, more importantly, he can’t admit it to HIMSELF. A huge ball of nerves way more prone to physically or verbally lashing out when it’s brought up, unless in VERY specific circumstances - Pacifrisk was the first person he’d ever cared about, and he almost straight up MURDERED them in cold blood when he realized they were making him act irrationally, that he cared about them and wanted to protect them when it served no purpose to him, even when it meant putting himself in danger.

Of course, I do think that Fresh would be able to learn to cope with his emotions, everything he’s done, everything that’s been done to HIM, and start to heal, becoming a better person, and actually manage to find peace and happiness!! That’s honestly one of the things I hold closest about him - that having emotions doesn’t make him a good person, he has to WANT to be, he has to LET himself feel, and let himself process! And he CAN heal, he CAN grow and change, it’s possible for him to be,,, BETTER. It’s not like flipping a switch, you can still have emotions and be cruel, he needs people by his side, and even if he does backslide, it’s still a part of the process and doesn’t undo the progress he’s made. It’s a long road, and it’s impossible to make up for everything he’s done in the past, but that’s okay!! I’M SORRY FOR GETTING PREACHY, BUT THAT’S LIKE, JUST ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT FRESH FOR ME!! I think it’s great, man. This was absolutely not what you asked for but thank you for giving me a chance to go off!