#i could never be me five days ago 😔

[simandy]

Shout out to me in my sideblog bc I'm 200% smarter there and i accidentally said something so cool in a reblog now people are quoting me in the tags of said post

[verbenaa]

to eden | chapter nine

𝓅𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔: Astarion/F! Tav 𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔: E 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉: 11.1k 𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: blowjobs 😎; canon-compliant, non-graphic mentions of SA 😔 (Astarion 😭)

𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎: “Do you trust me, Astarion?” Rin asks. She’s waited patiently enough for weeks upon weeks upon weeks, she can easily manage another minute for a proper answer from him first.

He shivers just slightly under her touch as her hands still, and Astarion averts his eyes from hers for a moment before huffing a breath and returning her gaze.

“Stop asking me questions you already know the answer to.” The bite in his words is softened by their meaning, his swallow audible as he stares down at her, a veiled vulnerability shining in his eyes as they run over the planes of her face.

𝒶/𝓃: hello!!!!! apologies it took me so long to get this chapter completed. But it is finally done and I very much hope you enjoy it. Here's to chapter 10 taking me half the time to write as this one did. please let me know your thoughts down in the comments and I appreciate you all!!!

read on ao3 | masterlist

“Are you even listening to me?” 

Rin blocks out the sound of Astarion, positively incensed about absolutely nothing of consequence, as he follows her around the grounds of the Last Light Inn, complaining rather loudly for her tastes.

She sighs as she trudges down one of the dirt paths leading away from the inn and back towards their camp, the area thankfully empty as he strides just behind her at a clipped pace. 

“I stopped listening about five minutes ago, Astarion, when you decided to keep saying the same thing over and over again,” Rin says, annoyance sneaking into her words as she cuts a look back towards the angry vampire somehow managing to stomp elegantly after her.

“I’ll stop saying it over and over again when you realize that I am right.”

Gods, he could be so irritating. 

While their encounter with Ketheric Thorm went surprisingly well and no one dared to second guess them in their ruse of pretending to be True Souls, Rin still felt somewhat unmoored by it all. The plot was thickening with a quickness and intensity she didn’t care for; something that was only growing more and more sinister brewing just beneath the surface, and she isn’t looking forward to figuring out whatever that something might be.

There’s a very large part of her the longs to run—to simply disappear into the darkness and never return; to sprint away from all of this madness, the constant battles, the sharp malice of it all.

Her life may not have accumulated to very much back in Baldur’s Gate—little money, the occasional performance at a shitty tavern, the more-than-occasional odd job for the Guild—but at the very least it was predicable in its unpredictability. 

Sure, she didn’t always have the money that she quite desperately needed, but she always knew to expect the possibility of not having it. She always knew how to sweet talk her way into getting more time to pay her debts, how to charm the baker into giving her an extra roll or two, or when times were particularly tough, how to steal what she needed to without even getting caught (most of the time). 

They were skills she had honed over a lifetime of living on the streets and in the murky shadows of the Lower City, things that she had worked hard to perfect to the best of her ability in order to survive. If there was one thing Rin knew, it was how to work to the system.

Thirty-four years in and she’s yet to meet a magistrate while draped in chains, so she must be doing something right.

But the only thing she can dare to expect these days is the unexpected. 

And Rin is not a fan of unexpected things—unless said things happen to be a nice bottle of wine or a fancy necklace; though as far as she can remember, no one has ever gifted her much of anything.

“What exactly did you want me to do, Astarion?”

“We should have stayed longer,” he hisses towards her, eyes narrowed and lip curled menacingly. “There was more information we could have dug out. There were merchants we could have bought more weapons and potions from. There were plenty of things we could have done, and yet you had us running away scared. You even let those goblins fight for their lives instead of just killing them outright. Absolutely ridiculous.”

Clearly, she doesn’t see the issue the same as Astarion, because she couldn’t find a single problem with the plan. It was the sane, normal thing to do after such a covert operation. They were a rag-tag group of adventurers, not spies.

They had maintained their cover, eventually killed the goblins, talked to the decidedly awful Disciple Z’rell, and then got the hells out of there as fast as they could.

The memory of Z’rell searching through her mind draws a minute shiver to her form, the sensation of another tadpole clawing through her brain with a wave of energy and touching on the darker things she keeps hidden in the depths of her thoughts—old memories that were purposely forgotten, hopes that she had long given up on having, disappointments that had been left to languish in the corners like dusty cobwebs—had been very unwelcome, to say the least.

She hadn’t been expecting to have to defend herself against Z’rell’s invasion, and she hated having to use her desire for Astarion as a distraction, even it if had worked. 

It had left her feeling as though she had been stripped bare, like some raw part of her had been left exposed to salt.

She didn’t dare to show Z’rell any of the truly illicit memories, for the half-orc certainly didn’t deserve to see Astarion in such a way and Rin was not about to put his body on display for her, even within the relative safety of her own mind or for the sake of the mission. 

Thankfully, she had plenty of other memories to use to showcase her more…amorous feelings about him.

The memory of him crowding her up against a cave wall, the feeling of his lips on her neck as he kissed it seconds before biting in, his lips claiming hers for the first time in the forest clearing what feels like forever ago, his fingers removing her armor piece by piece in the Underdark as heat had begun to curl in her belly…she could, theoretically, probably go on for forever.  

Rin breathes out a frustrated breath, attempting to steady herself as she turns around to face Astarion with little thought, and he pulls up short to avoid running into her, stopping right before they collide.

“Here’s the thing. You are not in charge because you did not want to be, and so now I am. And as such, I made a decision to leave, and so we did. If you don’t like it, Astarion, then by all means, go march your way back to Moonrise and have a look around, if you’d like.” 

Rin is careful to annunciate her every word as her finger pokes in the center of his chest, eyes steely as she glares up at him. 

“But,” she continues, “in the event that you decide to not trot off back to that hellish place, can you please tell me how to possibly shut you up now? Because as much as I honor and appreciate your opinion, I am tiring of hearing it.”

Astarion casts a slow look down at the finger resting innocuously against him before dragging his gaze back up to hers, brow raised alongside the casual arrogance painted on his face.

Rin knows she couldn’t look any less threatening—camp clothes slightly wrinkled from where she had pulled them on hurriedly after bathing, her hair still slightly damp, and at least a full head shorter than Astarion.

Anger has never been her strong suit, she’s far better at using the written word as a weapon than she is at yelling, and she realizes she probably has all the intimidation of a hissing cat rather than something terrifyingly ferocious and beautiful.

At the very least, the letter she writes him later tonight will be properly vicious—or at least her version of it. She’s not sure she’s capable of the raw rage of someone like Karlach or the steel-sharpened vitriol of Lae’zel, but she can at least use several choice adjectives to describe him that she has no doubt will irritate him. 

“Well, if you don’t want to hear it then you shouldn’t make stupid decisions,” Astarion says through gritted teeth, claret eyes glaring down at her. “and if you want to shut me up, you’re going to have to make me.”

“‘Make you’? How old are you, ten?” She presses her finger into his chest harder as her patience thins, biting down on her lip hard in failed attempt to take a calming breath.

Her heart is still pounding in her chest even after a relatively relaxing bath, and Astarion yelling at her about it does not help one bit. She aches to wipe the smirk off his lips as her eyes dart down to them, the way they curve up into a maddening off-kilter smile one that burns itself into her memory.

The traitorous part of her mind, the one that won’t disappear no matter how hard she tries to banish it and instead only serves to grow stronger as if to spite her, taunts her to kiss him if she really wants to shut him up. 

No better way to rid his mouth of that self-righteous smirk than by giving his lips something better to do instead, after all.

She had thought after that night, the one where he had so coldly thrown her out while still in the haze of their shared pleasure, that whatever it was that had been growing between them would be no more. It had seemed, at the time at least, that he wanted nothing more to do with her.

Instead, Astarion had shown up every night since at her tent. 

And every single night, he’d ruined her.

It had become their new routine, apparently. Every night they start by the fire as they always do—talking, drinking, divulging secrets in one another; and then afterwards, he follows her back to her tent, sets her alight with his touch, only to leave when he’s done with her.

They make something that Rin thinks must be akin to love; although she’s never really made love with anyone else before, so what does she know?

Perhaps he simply fucks everyone like the way he does her.  

The Traitor in her mind is quick to point out the falsehood that statement, reminding her that he didn’t lay with her at first like he does now. At first, there had been no mistaking what they were doing—it was sex, pure and simple, between two people indulging in a mutual curiosity and need. 

Looking back, it feels like Astarion had barely even enjoyed their first few liaisons together, his actions mostly halfhearted and his mind barely present. 

Now, though, there’s a marked difference in the press of lips, each and every one meaningful and every caress upon her skin intentional during the house they spend lost in one another.

She could no longer call it just sex, at least by her standards.

Rin didn’t know what to think. 

And how could she know, when he comes to her and sends her into complete bliss with a touch that only seems to grow more reverent with every passing night, the look in his eyes when they twine together that of a fire only growing as if being fed by more and more fuel.

But no matter how rough or how gentle he handles her—his touch somehow both softer and more intense with each night that passes, no matter how passionate or sweet the presses of his lips are against hers are as they find their completion together—he never stays.

Astarion’s interests, it seemed, were only in her physical attributes.

She shouldn’t be surprised, in the end. She was nothing more than a half-rate bard whose skills amounted to little of importance, so she can’t quite blame him for not being interested in the rest of her.

She was no sagely wizard like Gale nor a noble warlock like Wyll. She patroned no cause like Shadowheart or Lae’zel, no matter how questionable Rin finds their worship and ideals. 

She has no greater calling, no reason to be; neither a paragon of good nor an avatar of evil. 

She simply exists, day to day, in whatever way she can make it through. 

Perhaps if she were someone greater, someone of skill or importance, someone of knowledge; he would want her for more than just nights of shared passion.

The thought rankles something in her, though it shouldn’t. People like her weren’t meant for much more, and she’s never done anything to be worthy of things like tenderness, affection, or love.

If she were, then surely everyone else wouldn’t have left her. She wouldn’t have been abandoned if she’d been worth it.

Rin has nothing more to offer anyone but simply who she is—and who she is has never, ever been enough for anyone to ever take a chance on.

She’ll just have to make do with what she gets when it comes to Astarion, though he’ll no doubt leave her like all the rest when he’s had his fill of her.

But in the meantime, she’d rather have him in whatever way she can—in whatever way he will let her have him—than not get have him at all. 

And so she gives in to that traitorous part of her brain, the one still whispering of all the ways she can distract him, of the limited chances she has to revel in his closeness, and makes her move.

“You know what, fine. You want me to shut you up? I’d love the honor.”

Rin flattens her hand against his chest and pushes before taking a step forward into his space. Astarion glances down at her hand once before gracing her with a very skeptically raised brow.

Slowly, Rin steps forward again and Astarion steps back; one step followed by another and then another as they walk backwards until his back hits the stone of the wall behind them, dirt and chipped rock crumbling onto the ground next to them.

“Many have tried, most have failed.” He’s devastatingly handsome with such a devious smile, and she almost hates the way it makes anticipation startle to life in her chest. Almost.

Rin keeps her hand where it is as a small smirk of her own forms on her lips. “Most have not been me.”

“Do tell, little bard, what is to be your perfect strategy, hm?” He’s teasing and taunting her again as his head leans down towards hers, eyes narrowed in challenge.

She’s not quire sure what sparks the idea in her head; but she blames it on her ever-evolving and only growing adoration of him—slightly painful to admit, despite being very, very true. 

Regardless of whatever the reason is, she takes her chance.

No time like the present, they say.  

“Maybe I don’t need to shut you up so much as I want to hear you say something else instead,” And for the first time, it’s her own register that drops, words hushed as her cheeks flush despite herself. 

Astarion is quick to catch on, a knowing glint sparking to life in his eyes as he gleans something in her own gaze. In an instant, Rin feels an arm come to circle around her waist, dragging her closer to him until they’re flush together.

“And what is it that you have in mind, darling?” Her skin tingles where his hand rests upon her lower back, thumb brushing teasing strokes that send her mind swirling with a rush of delight at his touch.

Rin runs her hand up, drawing it across the expanse of his chest with enough pressure to make sure that he can feel the drag of it until it finds its home around his neck, her fingers curling into the hair at his nape.

She stays silent in the wake of his query, answering with only an innocent quirk of her lips before giving the path they’re standing on a quick, covert glance. She can see or hear no other being near them and, so long as they’re quick about it, she doubts anyone else will be coming this way. 

Hopefully.

“I must say, I’m intrigued. Are you thinking what I think you are thinking?”

“I guess it depends on what you think I plan to do.” She flicks her gaze back to his.

“I think that you want to—” Astarion’s voice cuts off and the smirk falls from his lips as Rin slides the hand from around his neck down his front and she lowers with it.

Rin looks up at him from under lowered lashes as her knees hit the dusty earth below her with a soft thump and she runs her hands up and down his thighs in teasing passes, thumbs pressing into the muscles of them intently.

He looks momentarily bewildered at the sight of her before him, expression going slack as his brows knit in surprise. Clearly, of all the things he expected of her, dropping to her knees on a decently well-trodden pathway wasn’t one of them.

For all the times he’s tasted her, Astarion’s yet to give her the same opportunity and she has plans to fix such a terrible discrepancy. He has no idea how long she’s waited to worship him like this—to touch and taste and learn his body as well as he’s studied her own.

She wishes that she had more time to make such an important scholarly pursuit, and the privacy of one of their tents would be vastly preferable, but Rin was nothing if not adaptable.

“Do you trust me, Astarion?” Rin asks. She’s waited patiently enough for weeks upon weeks upon weeks, she can easily manage another minute for a proper answer from him first.

He shivers just slightly under her touch as her hands still, and Astarion averts his eyes from hers for a moment before huffing a breath and returning her gaze.

“Stop asking me questions you already know the answer to.” The bite in his words is softened by their meaning, his swallow audible as he stares down at her, a veiled vulnerability shining in his eyes as they run over the planes of her face.

He’s flustered, and it’s an absolute wonder to see.

Her cheeks flush and her heart swells, despite that fact that she is technically still mad at him. Or at least she’s supposed to be. 

She can’t feel her agitation quite as keenly as she could a few minutes ago.

Rin had lowered herself onto her knees for only a few people in her lifetime, the act one she couldn’t say she had the most practice at. Men were always so typical, shoving themselves into her mouth without care until they reached their end; it was no wonder she rarely offered herself up in such a manner. 

But, Astarion—Astarion she knows will be different.

“I can’t promise to be the best you’ve ever had, but—”

“Don’t sell yourself so short.” Astarion cuts her off, his hand coming down to trace her jaw lightly as she looks up at him from beneath her lashes.

Rin leans her head slightly into his hand as it runs along the line of her face, turning slightly to press her lips against his fingers. “Is this alright, then? Will you let me suck your cock?” 

Astarion’s thumb brushes along the plush of her lower lip, and she takes the opportunity to open her mouth and nip at it playfully.

“Do you think you can take it, darling?” His eyes darken as her lips encircle the tip of his finger and she sucks, Rin relishing the almost imperceptible intake of his breath.

“I guess we’ll just have to see what I can handle.” 

“Well. By all means, then. Have at it,” Astarion says, eyebrows raising in smug challenge.

At his permission Rin’s hands jump to life, fingertips tracing up his covered thighs to hook into the waistband of his pants. She keeps her eyes on his as she slowly pulls them down, revealing his hardening length still hidden behind his underwear. 

She leans in to press kisses to the defined line of muscles along his hips, nosing his shirt out of the way as she runs her lips over the indentations of each and every one of them as she slowly traces her way down, moving ever closer to where his member twitches with every press of her lips.  

“I must say, our pretty little leader on her knees is quite a sight.” The words are meant to be easy, teasing; but the tightness in his voice belies any ease, his hips jumping as she traces her lips over the silhouette of him through his underwear.

Astarion chokes back a moan at the feeling and she smiles up at him, fingers playing at the edge of the final barrier between them before she begins to pull. Her fingers find his length once she’s freed it from his underwear, quick to run them down the velvet softness of his shaft as the deep green of her gaze meets the darkened ruby of his own once more.

“Only for you, Astarion.” Rin cuts off anything further he could have to say by leaning her head forward to press a searing kiss to the side of his erection before tracing her lips over his length.   

The first touch of her mouth against his cock has him exhaling sharply, one of the hands at his side coming up reflexively to rest atop top her head, fingers sliding through her curls as his hips jump.

She wastes no time as she licks a line across his slit, the heady saltiness of him hitting her tongue as she brings a hand up to grip him at the base, pumping him gently in her palm.    

“Does it feel good like this?” Rin swirls her tongue around the head of him, savoring her first real taste of his essence. “You’ll have to let me know how you like it, Astarion.”

His hand curls in her hair, brushing stray locks back from her face as he watches her mouth move along his length, tongue slicking across a vein before she finally wraps her lips around him.

“I assure you, you’re already doing a very, very good job.” He sags back against the crumbling stone facade of the wall as Rin takes him deeper into the warmth of her mouth, her hand pumping at the base of him as her lips work the rest that she doesn’t yet fit inside.

His praise sends a trail of heat straight to the core of her, pleasure of her own ebbing deep in her stomach as her thighs rub together. She leaves his length for no more than a second, adjusting her position on her knees before pressing more kisses to the side of him. “And this?” 

Astarion moans as her lips envelop him once more, sucking at his cock with hollowed cheeks as she takes him in, her hand moving in time with her mouth as she begins to bob her head.

“Decidedly perfect technique,” He’s practically breathless as he speaks, eyes closing as his head falls back against the wall behind him with a dull thud.

His moans echo off the ancient stone as she sucks and licks and kisses his cock, pouring every ounce of her wayward affection for him into this moment.

Astarion, she’s learned, doesn’t give up his iron-clad self control very easily; and Rin’s not going to let herself think about what it means that he trusts her enough to let her take care of him, even if it’s only like this.

It’s intoxicating to have him so utterly undone as she alternates her ministrations, each and every one only serving to push him further and further to the brink as she laves at his length, pleasure flitting openly across his handsome face.

She should tell him to be quieter, but she doesn’t have it in her to halt those beautiful moans and breathy gasps leaving his mouth, not when she revels in the sound of them far too much.

Rin pops off him to take a breath, tongue running around the crown of him before she renews her attentions, swallowing him down deeper and taking as much of him as she can fit into her mouth.

Dots of crystalline tears settle on her lashes as the head of him brushes against the back of her throat, but the ragged moan he releases is more than worth it, another bolt of heat surging down to the place between her legs.

She’s lucky she cares nothing for her reputation, because being found on her knees in front of her most dubious companion with his cock shoved deep down her throat would most certainly ruin it. 

“Such pretty noises you make, Astarion,” She hums as she pops off his cock, a string of saliva connecting her lips to his length as she breathes in another lungful of air. “Please don’t stop making them.”

The hands in her hair tighten as her mouth envelops the head of his length again and he whines, Rin once again savoring the tang of him as she sucks before taking him back into her mouth, deep again as he slides against her tongue.

“Fuck, darling—” She breaths through her nose as his thighs quiver, making sure to keep her mouth moving back and forth on his cock. “Don’t stop. Rin, sweetheart, I’m going to—”

Sweetheart. It was a new one from him, one that she finds that she likes. 

Quite a lot. 

He breaks off as Rin hollows her cheeks once more around him just as his cock hits the back of her throat again, stray tears breaking free to run down her cheeks and she can barely breathe with him like this in her mouth but can’t seem to find it in her to care. 

The thrill of finally being able to taste him and to bring him to the edge of pleasure is one she knows she would do anything to feel again, the weight of his cock nothing short of exquisite in her mouth.

She gives him a final suck and Astarion comes down her throat with a wanton moan, hips bucking as his brows crease and he cries out his completion, the sounds of his ecstasy nothing short of beautiful as they ring off the rock and stone and dirt around them.

Rin swallows his come down as his body quivers and his hips rut into her, the hands in her hair tightening into a vice grip as he rides her mouth. 

He tastes as perfect as she knew he would as words fall from his lips in a torrent—a chorus of praise, moans, and the occasional elvish word or phrase she doesn’t understand all flowing freely from his lips.

Rin lets him ride out his orgasm however long he pleases, a deep satisfaction coursing through her as she watches the pleasure painted across his features until his hips begin to slow and air he doesn’t need finally begins to return to his lungs.

“Dear Gods—” Astarion groans as his eyes open as the hands in her hair loosen  and he stares down at her, one of them migrating down from her curls to her cheeks, softly brushing away the tears that have tracked down the planes of her face.

She pulls off his softening cock slowly, taking in a much needed breath of air.

“Do you still question my decision making skills?” Rin licks off a stray drop of his come from her bottom lip before she smiles.

“Absolutely; and if this is the treatment I’m going to get every time I do, then I think I’ll have to disagree with you more often.” Astarion’s still catching his breath as he replies, but it doesn’t stop a wolfish grin from spreading across his face.

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, Astarion.” Rin gently tucks him back into his pants, patting his hip with a smirk before she rises back up to her full height, knees aching slightly with the motion. “If I did that every time we had a disagreement, I’m not sure I would have much time to do anything else.”

Astarion has an arm wrapped back around her waist in a mere moment and she’s pulled close again, the one hand still in her hair curving around the back of her head to tilt her face up to his own.

“Then maybe you should try to be less difficult, dearest.” His hand runs down, caressing the curve of her bottom before sweeping back up and around to hover at the front of her pants.

His touch sends a spark of heat down to her neglected arousal, Rin taking a steadying breath as she braces her hands on his chest. “If I were less difficult, you would be bored.”

Astarion chuckles as his fingertips dip below her waistband, more heat curling deep in her core as they quickly slip beneath the band of her underwear, intent to find the wetness that has settled between her thighs.

He wastes no time gliding them through her folds, running them up and down her center as Rin gasps, Astarion’s eyes intent on hers as he slicks his fingers with her arousal before finding her entrance and sinking two of them inside her with ease.

“I see I wasn’t the only one enjoying myself,” Astarion groans at the evidence of her own lust he finds waiting, pushing his fingers deeper.

“Far from it, Astarion.” She moans as her head falls forward onto his shoulder, eyes drifting shut as he curls them once, twice; her limbs tightening as he seats them fully inside her.

It would be so easy to let Astarion bring her to brink and push her over into euphoria, no doubt only a few quirks of his fingers and she’d be gone, clinging to him with every ounce of her strength as he makes her come. 

But she doesn’t want it to be about her. Not right now. 

Despite the breath that rushes free and the soft whine she lets out as Astarion pumps the fingers he has buried in her, the desire almost painfully hot in her core; Rin reaches one of her hands down to grasp his wrist, pulling his hand away from where she wants him most.

She’ll take care of herself later. She certainly has plenty of material to think about.

Astarion sends her a questioning look as he slips his fingers out of her, Rin’s hand still on his as she guides him out of her leggings. “Is there a problem, sweet? Need something else inside of you instead?”

Rin huffs a soft laugh as she intertwines her fingers with his, squeezing his hand. She fears that her expression is entirely too open as she looks up at him and her lips quirk into a smile, but it’s too late for her to take it back so she commits to it, letting a tiny bit of the feeling that’s been growing inside her show on her features.

“I just—it doesn’t always need to be about me. Take your pleasure and enjoy it. You don’t owe me one back, or anything silly like that.”

Astarion stares at her as his expression clouds with confusion, but the hand in hers doesn’t weaken, his grip still strong and sure. 

Rin stands up on her tiptoes, lips seeking his cheek as she bestows a light kiss upon it before whispering, “Thank you, Astarion, for letting me give you something for once. I’ll see you in a little bit.”

She steals her hand back, the slide of his skin against her own slow as she takes a step away from him, sending a little wave his way before she turns and walks back towards camp, leaving Astarion to stare perplexed at her retreating form.

✧· · ─── ·✧· ─── · ·✧

Astarion sits perched on his favorite rock in camp, handsome and brooding, no doubt the perfect portrait of a mercurial and mysterious vampire to anyone with eyes who chose to look his way.

Or he would be, if anybody in this damn camp would pay any attention to him.

He rolls his eyes with a scoff as he directs his gaze towards the small group of idiots that are now his companions; a preposterous notion that he even considers them to be such. 

They make their merry by the fire, passing around a bottle of what is clearly a very strong whiskey if the faces they pull after taking swigs of it are anything to go by.

He can imagine the smell of it, smokey and stout, and is very glad to have a goblet of wine beside him instead. 

Whiskey was all fine and good and certainly had its uses, but it lacked the elegance of a fine wine; no whiskey ever as smooth on its own as a delectable vintage feels gliding over his tongue and down.

It’s a chilling thought that he’s been in such close contact with these fools for months now, Astarion learning all their little intricacies whether he wants to or not. 

Yet, he doesn’t find himself hating the growing familiarity quite as much as he did at the beginning. 

He knew his siblings, of course. But that bond was different, one forged by mutual fear and shared pain. He didn’t know what kinds of books they liked to read or what their favorite sweets had been. Instead, he knew how each of their screams sounded and how their bodies had looked torn apart under Cazador and Godey’s punishments, flesh rent from bone.

No, he firmly knew more about this merry little band of imbeciles he had been thrown together with than the six souls he had known for years and years and years, with one individual in particular standing out above the rest.

Astarion, it seems, now knew more about Rin than he had ever cared to know about another person in over 200 years. Useless, meaningless information she’s offered up about herself seemingly at random and without purpose or prize. 

She was a complete and utter fool.

And yet, he drank up each and every tiny piece about herself that she gave him as though it were her blood, flowing free and pomegranate-sweet from her neck. 

Astarion knew her favorite flowers—a hard choice, according to her, but she tends to favor the perfect, happy purple of the crocus a little more than the rest. 

He had rolled his eyes at this, swiftly informing her that flowers were essentially no more than useless, pretty things with little substance; and had earned himself a very sound swat upon his arm.

He knew her favorite foods—any sort of sweet berry at midsummer, along with a nice loaf of bread and perhaps some butter or cheese. 

Her taste in food was pitifully simple, though Astarion supposes a life on the Lower City streets didn’t usually imbue people with a terribly complicated palate for the finer delicacies life had to offer.

He knew that Rin did not know her father—only that he had been an elf come to the city on some sort of business from a far away place and Rin her human mother’s only token of remembrance from an affair she only wanted to forget about, and one she eventually did forget about when she left Rin to fend for herself.

She knew nothing of the Elvish ways and customs, nothing of the language that should sit so naturally on her tongue.

The knowledge that he could say anything he wanted to her in their language and she would be hopeless to ever understand him is one that tempts him in a variety of ways that he doesn’t indulge, lest his mind find its way heading into dangerous territory.

He knew that she’d had no sweeping romances with tender touches and soft sighs—only quick nighttime flings helped along by pints of cheap ale from equally cheap taverns and that while they had perhaps filled a need, they tended to leave her feeling more empty and decidedly less than, in the end. 

Astarion all too well understood that particular feeling. He hated that she had ever felt the same.

He readily ignores the inkling in the back of his mind warning him that he, perhaps, is no better than the others when he leaves her every night staring up at him, poorly concealed disappointment etched across her pretty face.

Uselessly, he also knew her favorite color—the deep, turquoise blue-green of the Chionthar on a clear day at noontime, naturally, when the sun sparkled off the undulating current of the water. 

It could never be anything quite so easy as simply ‘the color blue’ with her.

Astarion himself had long forgotten the color of the river, having only seen it as the darkened muddy blue-black of the midnight hours for centuries now.

Rin had been utterly shocked when she asked him for his own and he had told her he didn’t have one.

“You don’t have a favorite color? Astarion,” She had said aghast, drawing out the syllables of his name as her bright eyes had widened in surprise. 

He had no use for frivolous things like favorite colors. 

What colors, exactly, was he to have had the time to enjoy?

Certainly not the darkly stained, ornately paneled woods of the chamber he used to entertain his victims; or the gaudy, overly saturated reds and too brightly shined golds in that room meant to invoke opulence and luxury, yet another layer designed to further lure them into the fantasy he provided.

Nor the watery yellow glow of torchlight against the dull, muddied brown of wet cobblestones as he led whoever had been chosen that night back to the Szarr Palace, charming and seductive as he promised them his body and their control over it. 

There was nothing beautiful about the metallic shine of a silver cage in the kennel, dotted with the rusty brown of dried blood, though whether it was his own or belonged to one of his siblings he never really knew.

How was there to be any joy found in color beyond the allure of the deepest burgundy wine as it filled up his cup to help dull his mind as he lowered himself to do the things his mark that evening wanted of him, mind drifting to focus on anything else as he did whatever he needed to do in order to survive.

Astarion grimaces, throwing back another swallow of his wine as the thoughts leave him tinged with the sickly yellow-green of disgust and the feeling of shame: a blistering, burning, glowing red.

At first, right after the Nautiloid had crashed and he had escaped the closeness of that dreadful pod, his chest having constricted at the tightness of it around him—it was just another cage in the end, wasn’t it? Just another leash for him to be collared to—the riot of colors in the bright light of the sun had hurt his newly sensitive eyes as he had hid in the shadow of the wreckage.

It was only once he had realized he wouldn’t be burned to a crisp in the sunshine, a wonder in its own right, that he began to take notice of them all. There were far too many colors and all of them were so…so saturated; all the different shades and intensities unbearably overwhelming.

From the small green leaves of the scrubby trees, to the brown grains of sand, to the grotesque purple of the Nautiloid and the soon-to-be rotting corpses of mindflayers—terribly, horribly overwhelming.

She was overwhelming to look at when he first saw her, too. Shining eyes of emerald green, warm skin thoroughly kissed by the sun, dark blonde curls gleaming in the unbearable brightness of the light. That awful outfit she wore that marked her as none other but a bard, albeit one with terrible sartorial sense. 

Rin was the first person he had set eyes on in the sunshine in over 200 years and he had hated the very sight of her. 

She had been a clash of colors, all dreadfully uncomplimentary to him, that he shied away from the sight of. Colors like that were never quite so bold in the darkness that he was so used to, their vivacity dulled by dancing firelight and the shadows of night.

She was too brilliant to bear the sight of, utterly casual and downright flippant, too unbothered by it all to be trusted—though, he knows better now; and looking back he can see that her confidence was all nothing more than a well-executed performance on her part.

He still doesn’t feel bad about holding that knife to her neck as he had dragged her down into the coarse sand with him, the scent of her scarlet blood still rich despite it drying against her cheek, dots of it mixing in with the freckles that were scattered across her cheeks like the tiniest of constellations.

Perhaps that was his first mistake in all of this, allowing himself to get so near someone so dazzling and warm. It was like playing with fire—dance too close to the flame and you were bound to be burned. 

And going up into flames was something Astarion could not afford. 

But now, slowly, the color has begun to come back to him little by little and he could start to appreciate again it for the first time in centuries.

The precise cornflower blue of the sky on a cloudless day or the deep violet of it at twilight as the stars wink to life. 

The way sunlight dappled onto the ground through a forested canopy to illuminate the all the tiny flowers that grow up from the ground in a rainbow of colors—purples, pinks, yellows, blues. 

The myriad of all the different greens that he could now truly behold: the dark, bountiful leaves of a fern, a fragile spring green stem of a flower, the lush and verdant shade of her eyes.

Astarion still didn’t have a favorite color. Not really.

But he was coming around to the idea of having one.

A laugh carries across camp, melodic and light and lovely, dragging him from the depths of his musings over to where Rin sits by the fire, their companions all floating around her like moths to a flame.

He absolutely hates the way they all look at her. 

He can see it on their faces, a blatant adoration that she somehow seems to completely disregard for reasons he can’t fathom, instead intent to spend her time with him of all people.

But he cannot blame them, after all, because he’s no better. Just as desperate for her attention and her closeness, it seems, if the way his feet kept finding their way to her tent night after night was anything to go by.

Astarion wonders sometimes if they can see the very same hopeless look on his own face as he gazes upon her, despite how well he tries to hide it. 

Rin leans against Halsin as she laughs, cheeks flushing at whatever it is the oversized elf says to her. Her curls are unbound, falling freely around her tonight in a wave of shining gold to her waist and he wishes he could bury his fingers in the strands to feel the softness of them for himself. 

The druid does nothing to dissuade Rin from the circle of his arms as he claps a hand on her shoulder before sliding it down to the small of her back, smiling at her a touch too friendly for Astarion’s liking and a stab of something hits him straight in the chest.

Jealousy.

He has no claim to her, of course. He’s not made one and has no plans to. But the sudden thought of her underneath Halsin—or any of them, really—has his jaw clenching tight. 

The other elf is attractive and strong, no doubt a good lover; and the thought of the warmth he could so easily provide her that Astarion cannot churns his long-empty stomach.

He can see it all too easily, imagining Rin so very pretty with cheeks flushed pink and body inviting as Halsin leans over and takes her sweetness for his own.

He can see Rin on her knees, looking up at the druid with the same look of affection in her eyes that she had given him earlier that day as she had tasted him.

Or perhaps the worst thoughts of them all—Rin telling Halsin all the inane things she would normally bother him with; Rin playing tiny bits of melodies and sweet little songs on her lyre for Halsin while he whittles by the light of the fire; Rin writing the druid letters that she would then hide poorly in his tent, ensuring they can always be found and read and replied to— 

He was spiraling, and he needed to stop.

Astarion shakes the thoughts away with a frown, bringing his goblet back to his lips for another sip. He doesn’t know why she favors him so, why she allows him into her orbit when there’s a group full of others who would so readily take his place, all of whom would no doubt treat her better than he has. 

He wouldn’t blame her, if she sought after any of the others.

Certainly not after that night, the one where he had made her undress before him for his entertainment and then kicked her out of his tent when she was still wrapped up in the afterglow of what was a very intimate evening.

Perhaps too intimate.

His chest gnaws at itself at the thought of the way he had handled it all.

Astarion had lost count of how many times he had undressed in front of others, so many of their faces blessedly long blurred by time.

He had unbuttoned and unlaced countless of his shirts, pants, doublets—a liar’s allure painted upon his features as he gave whoever it was a show, forever the night’s entertainment for his quarry. 

Yet, he had made her do the same.

He had enjoyed it, too. He had enjoyed watching her undress solely for him, piece by piece, her gaze piercing his own as she reveled in his attention on her.

She hadn’t said no or objected to it. But he could see the challenge in her eyes just as easily as she could see right through him and his attempt to gain back his precious lead in their little game, the perceptive little thing. 

A strange feeling—remorse—settles itself in his chest as he watches her from across camp.

The remorse only grows the longer Astarion fixates on it, leading to more and more questions that he doesn’t have the answers to, the weight of them near unbearable upon his scarred shoulders.

The crushing reality was that his plan was crumbling bit by bit, like a tiny pebble crushed under foot; and the worst part about it was that he was finding it harder and harder to care. 

Rin has made it abundantly clear that she is on his side.

He’d seduced her, had won her sword (mediocre skill notwithstanding), and had long secured her dedication to his cause.

By all accounts, his plan is practically complete where she’s concerned.

All they needed to do now was get back to Baldur’s Gate and—well, he wasn’t quite sure what would come after they get back into the city, Astarion was still a little fuzzy on the details of it all, but she’d help him figure it out when the time came, of course. 

Rin was aways helpful when it really mattered.

So why is it that he can’t stop with the first part? Even if he were to decide to stop sleeping with her, he wasn’t particularly concerned that she would suddenly turn on him. 

He has no reason to find his way into her bed now; no reason other than his own selfish, deep-seated desire for her company and attention and affection.

Rin catches his eye in a poorly timed glance of his own, and smiles so full of a sickening fondness—nose crinkled and flushed cheeks—at him.

Faster than he can follow she’s out of Halsin’s embrace, gracing the druid with a playful smile and a pat on the shoulder before she saunters over to where he sits perched on his rock, limbs unnaturally loose as she pads closer—drunk indeed.

Astarion doesn’t miss the way the light from the fire limns her figure from behind, setting her aglow in a halo of golden-red as she finds her way over to him, something in his chest warming as she nears.

She sways slightly when she stops before him and he can smell the rich tang of the whiskey on her as she sends him a mischievous look that has his lips already quirking up at the corners. 

“You,” she pokes him in the chest to add an emphasis that he did not need. “Should come join us”

“And you,” he refrains from poking her back in response, though the thought amuses him. “Are drunk.”

Rin takes a step closer, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning forward, slotting herself between his legs and blithely ignoring the glances the motion garners from their companions.

Astarion’s eyes widen at the blatant display of affection, taken aback by the ease of it as the scent of her surrounds him—honey and flowers and all around loveliness. 

On anyone else he would hate the perfume she wears, but on her it smells nothing short of wonderful; tempting him to bury his face into her neck and breathe her in.

Her hands play with the hair on his neck, as they always seem to, delicate fingertips running through the waves and he resists the urge to lean into her soothing touch.

He can feel multiple sets of eyes upon the two of them, voices lowered into whispers as the group no doubt gossips. The nature of his relationship with Rin is far from a secret, he’s drawn too many beautiful sounds from her lips for anyone to be unaware of their trysts. 

Astarion secretly revels in the idea that they are quite possibly jealous of what Rin gives to him; something that none of them have ever received from her. 

So let them see, then. 

Let them see that it is him who she seeks out, his arms the ones she wants to find herself in, his lips the ones she wishes to kiss.

Astarion’s arms find their way to her waist with an uncomfortable ease, hands settling along the indent of it as his thumbs run up and down her covered skin without thought, dragging her closer between his legs until their faces are mere inches from one another’s, only the rock beneath him stopping her chest from pressing fully against his own.

“I’m not drunk enough, I fear.” Rin cocks her head to the side with a smile, as she whispers covertly to him. “Maybe, if you come share a drink with me, we can fix that.”  

Astarion allows himself the temptation to brush an errant curl away from her face, the lock just as soft as he knew it’d be, before matching her tone. “Don’t be such a lush, dear.”

“Oh, come on, Astarion. I know that you enjoy a good drink as much as I do. And I promise, the whiskey is good.” 

He swears that he can hear her breath hitch as his fingers accidentally brush against her cheek, her eyes widening ever so slightly in surprise as he tucks the curl behind her ear.

“Oh, I’ve got no doubt of that, my dear,” He chuckles, a corner of his mouth turning up without his permission. “If it weren’t, you wouldn’t be quite so tipsy in front of me.” 

“Don’t say it like it’s a bad thing,” Rin tuts, pouting. 

The way her bottom lip pushes out and her eyes widen under lowered brows is, dare he say, cute; and he can’t help the inward sigh that he’s now been relegated to thinking of a beautiful woman something as absurd as cute. 

It’s a blow to his seductive charm, surely, to use such a word to describe her; but all of the other adjectives he’s thought of in the past seem to had fled his mind under her spell when she looks at him like that. 

What in the absolute hells has she done to him?

“Pouting? Really, darling?” Astarion drawls, the hand he had used to tuck her hair back now brushing openly down her cheek in a touch that has her face heating to a most becoming shade of pink.

Rin instinctively leans into his hand and he resists the urge to cup her cheek, suddenly possessed by the want to draw her face closer to his.

“You don’t have to come drink with me at all, of course.” Her voice takes on that same tone it had taken on earlier, intention dripping from her words like the thickest of honey as her she bites her lip, drawing his attention to her mouth. “We can always go find something else to do instead. Just the two of us.”

The pink of her tongue peeks out to wet her bottom lip, soothing the place where she bit down upon it, and if Astarion hadn’t been paying attention already, he certainly would be now.

“Oh? Just the two of us?” He teases her, his other hand moving to curl around her lower back to pull her even closer, Rin curving herself into him, and Gods if the feeling of her against him didn’t feel like heaven. “What do you have in mind? A game of cards? Or, perhaps we should practice our calligraphy together, hm?”

Rin leans in to let her lips brush against the tip of his ear, Astarion barely holding back the shiver that threatens to break free as her hands comb through his hair and she speaks low, “I can make you feel good again, Astarion. If you want me to.”

Her words bleed with affection and genuine sweetness, and Astarion finds it very difficult to say no to her when she asks like that.

His mind flashes back to earlier, the image of Rin on her knees as she had waited for his answer, hands poised at his waistband streaking through his mind along with others as his stomach tightens. 

Her perfect lips wrapped around his cock, the feeling of coming down her throat, drops of diamond-like tears tracing down flushed cheeks, his hands buried in her hair.

How she had told him to take his pleasure and not worry about hers. A very sweet sentiment that he deeply appreciated for reasons he very much didn’t want to think about at the moment.

‘Thank you, Astarion, for letting me give you something for once,’Rin had said. 

As if she didn’t already give him plenty.

He’s thoroughly enjoyed being at her mercy, her touch always soft and gentle while she asks for permission. It had been so many years since he had indulged in wanting to be touched like that, and having affection heaped upon him by someone so eager to please him has quickly become nothing short of addicting. 

“Oh? And do tell, how you plan on doing that?” Astarion lets his fingers drift slowly up her spine, enjoying the way her body presses harder into his and her breath catches, the sound lovely.

“Follow me and I’ll show you,” Rin whispers as she steps out of the circle of his arms, swaying slightly as she does, and Astarion’s brows knit together in consternation.

She grabs his hand, and Astarion swears the feeling of hers wrapped around his could scald him, every nerve in his body set alight by that innocent touch.

He allows himself to be lead to her tent, content to follow after her with hands still connected; but there seemed to be a single glaring issue standing in Astarion’s way that he was apparently now unable to ignore. 

She was quite drunk tonight. 

Too drunk, according to a newer, still unfamiliar voice in his head. 

It’s a step too far for him now, or at least it is where she’s concerned; a step that, granted, months ago he wouldn’t have batted an eyelash at taking. 

All the better if they were too drunk, it only made his job easier in the end.

But Rin’s not like that, she’s not a mark and she deserves so much better than being taken advantage of in such a state, even if for his plan or his own personal desires of her. 

She would be so easy to please like this, with the alcohol addling her mind. 

And oh, how he could please her. 

He could so easily touch and kiss and fuck any thoughts she may have about Halsin or any of the rest of them right out of her mind, ensuring that his name is the only one that falls from her lips.

She steps through the flap of her tent, her hand still holding his, and once he’s inside she’s turning again, wrapping her arms around his neck as she balances up on tiptoes, staring earnestly into his eyes. 

“I’ll do whatever you want, Astarion. Just tell me, I want to know more about what you like.” She sways again, and his arm wraps around her waist to steady her as their bodies press together.

“Let’s get you lying down, sweetheart.”

He hadn’t meant to say such a word earlier, but it had slipped out of his mouth as he had hit the burning, white hot peak of his pleasure at her worship. 

Astarion finds, though, that he likes the way it flows off his tongue when directed at her. 

It fits her well enough, in his opinion.

He lets Rin drag him to the ground until her back is against her bedroll and he hovers over her, staring down into hazy green eyes as her curls spread around her. She’s a vision like this, and he memorizes the sight of her without thinking to, his eyes moving to capture every inch of her before his mind even realizes what he’s doing and can tell himself to stop.

“And now, Astarion?” 

She waits on a bated breath, waiting, as his eyes finding their way again to her lips.

Kiss her. That voice in the back of his mind is nothing but a traitor as it whispers to him, knowing full well he can’t give in to such dizzying impulses like that on a whim.

He knows better than to allow himself to kiss her. Because once starts he won’t be able to stop.

It would be so easy to fall into her, to kiss her into utter oblivion and lose himself in the body she so readily offers. To forget all about his pathetic life if only for the little bit of time they steal away to spend together in temporary bliss.

But it always comes back after. 

The memories, the reality of who is he and what he’s done, the feeling of his skin crawling in the aftermath of so many hands that have touched him without permission.

Her touch is different, but when he’s been touched thousands of times by thousands of people, it all seems to blend together in the end no matter what he wants—even if hers is the only one he wants to think about and remember the feeling of, thoughts of her consuming him even with just a gentle brush of her arm against his.

“And now, darling, you sleep.”

He doubts she’ll remember much come morning, the whiskey burning through her veins hotter than a flask of alchemist’s fire; but Astarion finds that he wants to be remembered, if only by her, just this once.

Wants her to remember their time together the way he always will. If they survive this, even when he has his freedom and is long gone to wherever it is he wants to go—he will always remember. 

He ignores the stutter of loneliness that pangs in his chest as he imagines ever so briefly what his freedom will look like when he’s on his own with no one else around.

It would certainly be quiet. Perhaps even peaceful. 

He would be able to spend his time however he wished it in the solitude, not a soul around to bother him with foolish chatter unless he went in search of such a thing. 

Strange how the thought of it doesn’t hold the same appeal that it once did.

A hand running along his cheek draws him out of his thoughts, dragging him back to the present as Rin looks up at him, eyes soft and yet somehow still managing to pierce straight through his un-beating heart as she studies his features.

“I meant it, you know—what I said to you that night. You don’t have to fuck me, Astarion. You can come sleep with me and we can just lay together. Or even just talk. I know my conversation doesn’t mean much, but—” She cups his cheek in her palm, the tenderness of it threatening to burn him to cinders. “It doesn’t have to be just about sex between us. We’re friends too, aren’t we? Friends can simply enjoy each other’s company and presence and take care of each other, can’t they?”

She’s babbling, words falling out of her mouth freed by the whiskey; but the innate truth he hears in them threaten the remaining bits of resolve that he has left.

Astarion’s not quite sure who she’s trying to convince—herself or him—but his determination wanes regardless, like a thread pulled too tight and on the verge of snapping.

But it wasn’t just about the sex, and if it’s not just about his plan, then what was it about?

He’s fairly certain friends don’t typically know each other’s bodies as intimately as they do, or know how beautiful they look as they fall apart, or find themselves craving nothing more than to simply exist with the other near.

Friends probably also don’t think about each other in the depths of the night when they’re cold and alone and hurting, the thought of the other a shining light in the eternal darkness of their existence.  

Astarion, though, has never had any friends that he can remember.

With more gentleness than he would prefer, Astarion removes her hand from his cheek and rights himself to a kneel, his knees finding their home on either side of her hips. 

He holds her hand within his own, turning his attention where he cradles it in his palm. Her hand is smaller than his, several calluses along the places where she holds her rapier and her quill, fingers still decorated with the ink she must have used earlier to write him a very scathing letter.

He had briefly considered tearing the letter to bits, the words contained on the piece of paper properly irritating and, in Astarion’s opinion, practically libel, but he couldn’t do it; instead relegating it to the pile where he keeps all the other useless slips of parchment from her in a neat stack hidden out of plain sight in his tent.

Her letters were, after all, the first tangible thing anyone had given him since he was bestowed with his sanguine hunger, his dark curse. 

And whether he wants to admit it or not, he’s so far been unable to find a valid reason to rid himself of them, useless though they may be.

Before he can catch himself, he’s leaning his head down to the hand he holds within his own, and with a damning softness he brushes a kiss onto each of her ink-stained fingertips where they had touched his face, lips light against them before placing a final, reverent kiss in the center of her palm.

She’s looks as though she’s not even breathing when Astarion raises his head to stare down at her, her hand still clasped in his own. 

He can hear the beat of her heart, drumming loudly against her ribcage with a rhythm he’s become so very familiar with, and he can smell the ambrosia of her blood as it soars through her veins.

Even in the darkness he can see the pink of her cheeks and the freckles that dust over the tops of them and he’s half-tempted to count them, wishing to brush his fingers over each and every one of them, if only to feel his skin against the sunny warmth of her own.

But it’s too much, and he’s spiraling downdowndown again into the depths of somewhere he’s not yet ready to be, and so he needs to leave. Needs to leave for the same reason he has to leave her every night, despite the weakness that has him indulging in anything and everything else she’ll afford him.

He has no other choice, for when she speaks such innocent words to him, offering him the simple solace of rest so full of a tender, blossoming affection, he’s filled with a want so heavy it threatens to drag him under.

Because if Astarion allows himself to give in—to know what it would be like to be warm, comfortable, safe—he knows he would never be able to go without it again.

Warmth, kisses, attention, kindness—all heaped upon him without wanting anything in return. No money, no favors, no motive other than her pure wish to spend time with him.

It’s a good thing his heart no longer beats, for if it did, Astarion has no doubt that she would be able to hear the rampant sound of it in his chest just as he can hear her own.

He rests her hand back down, letting it settle across her stomach as he swallows down the torrent of things that threaten to break free from him, Rin looking at him with a confused sort of wonder, as though he were a puzzle she was trying desperately to fit the pieces of together in her mind.

“Good night.” He stands to leave, movements as quiet as the night around them thanks to the unnatural grace he possess, before turning toward the tent flap. “Sleep well, my darling.”

He’ll allow himself that much, at least; for what was the harm in letting himself indulge in getting to call her his own just this once, if only to see what it feels like?

“You too, Astarion.” He turns his head briefly at her whispered words and meets her eyes, something molten and unguarded smoldering in her gaze as she watches him leave.

He can’t bear the sight of it a moment more, another utterance from her all it would take for him to succumb to his most secret desires—things he can barely stand to admit to himself—and so he turns his head forward and walks back out into the darkness, letting the honest and true longing that has been slowly burning him from the inside out finally consume him. 

[idcbabyialreadylostmymind]

Can you write something where norm gets jealous about reader spending alot of time with Jake? Sorry about the vague request!

Sorry this took so long to answer :((

Silly thing

Pairing- Norm x reader

Summary- Norm gets jealous of you hanging with Jake so much not knowing the full story he decides to ignore you.

A/N- this low-key sucks and it's short I'm sorry 😔

Norm wasn't a particularly jealous man. He knew where you and him stood, you were his mate as you were his. You two had mated before Eywa so long ago so why did he feel this irritating feeling that wouldn't go away because you chose to go hunting with Jake Sully.

If it was the first time you said yes he would be okay but it seems like everytime he wants to hang out with you Jake is stealing you away for something, whether it be he needed help tying something up, weaving something, braiding hair, or right now for example hunting. His ears twitch as he watches you laugh at a joke Jake made.

He could be that funny could he? Was he funnier than him? Did you get bored of him? So many things ran through his mind he didn't even realize you walked over to him. You gave him a big hug and that is what pulled him to reality. He didn't recopirate the hug like he usually did. You blink your big eyes at him and he tries so hard not to fumble under your gaze as he quickly walks away from you.

He knew it was childish to keep his feelings in and giving you the silent treatment but he just didn't want to face the fact that he was jealous.

So for the next five days he didn't say one word to you. Little did he know how much it hurts you.

You didn't know why he wasn't speaking to you, you wanted to know so bad but he wouldn't talk to you. It hurts seeing him talk to everyone and you finally had enough.

He was in a healers tent collecting something and you finally had a chance to corner him. He was in his avatar form so here you stand looking up at him, fire in your spirit as you snatch the curtain down. He looks at you, "Y/N." He says as if he hasn't been ignoring you for five days. "Don't fucking Y/N me." You say the curse in your sentence caught him off guard and then he realized Jake must've taught you it. "You ignore me." You say and he feels bad as he hears how shaky your voice has become.

"No I haven't." He said.

"No." You say and you tried your best not to curse him out in both English and Na'vi. "Yes, now go hang out with your new boyfriend Jake." He says and then your anger soothed down as his words entered your ears and tucked the sides of your head.

"I do not understand-"

"You've been hanging out with him for the past two weeks. We haven't had a day to ourselves." He confessed. You gasp. "Oh I didn't notice but we haven't been doing what you think we have." You quickly say.

He rolls his eyes. "No no I am not lying, I have been helping him plan something for him and Neytiri's anniversary, whatever that is." You whisper the last part.

When the words left you he dropped to his knees and all kinds of apologies came from him. "I'm so sorry baby I didn't know I was jealous I will never ignore you over something silly again." He says wrapping his arms around your waist.

You help him to us feet before placing a gentle kiss on his lips. "Just don't do it again." You say.

[saraminia]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

Thank you for tagging me @apothecarose 💞

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope. Although my mom's called Riitta so it's kinda similar.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday when I looked at this picture.

So basically I cried about Noah and how much I love him. Seems to be a nearly daily occurrence nowadays. 😔

3. Do you have kids?

I have two. My son is 17 and my daughter is 14. And they're the best kids in the whole world.

(yes, I have their permission to post their pics freely and I'm a proud mama so why not)

4. What sports do you play/have played?

Sadly I never played a sport. (I was never into sports or exercise when I was a kid. Really not until after my daughter was born. That's when I started HIIT training and I did it really intensely for several years. Up until my mental illness put a stop to the training. I hit rock bottom with depression and could hardly even get out of bed. I've been mentally in a very good place for a few years now, but sadly haven't managed to pick up training again.)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I mean.. yeah? Not intentionally, but I'm sure I do.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

I'm extremely unobservant unfortunately. I can meet someone and after five minutes not remember anything about them, especially about their appearance. But I think a really radiant and/or warm smile is something that gets my attention.

7. What’s your eye color?

Greyish green.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I like both, but happy endings are lovely.

9. Any talents?

Nope. None. lol

10. Where were you born?

In Finland. Same town where I'm currently living. I've been here and there and lived away from here for like fifteen years, thirteen of which in Sweden, but I returned home about eight years ago.

11. What are your hobbies?

No time for hobbies really. Gotta tumblr for several hours every day lmao. I mean, I write, but not very well. I take walks, often in nature. But mostly I just study and work.

12. Do you have any pets?

I have cats, two old ladies called Mimmi and Simba. They're both girls (despite the name) and both 11 years old. I've had them since they were six months old. They are from the same home, from two different litters, born five days apart. So different mothers, father(s) unknown, so they could be sisters. Either way they have always been together.

13. How tall are you?

164 cm which is about 5'4"

14. Favorite subject in school?

Maths and English (as a second language)

15. Dream job?

I don't think I ever had one. I am studying health care and will be a public health nurse when I'm done, but I wouldn't call that a dream job. It's just a job. I gotta do something so that's what I chose so I at least know there's always going to be work for me. But tbqh if I won the lottery, I would never work again. I'm not sure I'd even finish my studies, since I already am a nurse, it's only the specializing studies I'm still doing.

Oh man, am I supposed to tag fifteen people? Ok I'll try @ramonaflow @flowertrigger @a-noble-dragon @jesuisici33 @carolrain @maryp50 @statueinthestone @goodiecornbread @thisbuildinghasfeelings @rmd-writes @rainbowcoloredpalmtrees @jettestar @grapehyasynth @reasonandfaithinharmony @beaiola

[fl00mie]

OMGG, ysss!! All of the songs you've talked about slap so muchhh!(I've literally been listening to "Waiting For You" on loop xD) Thinking about animatics is the no1 thing I do too soo I tots get you >:)! It's been so long since I last heard "It took me by surprise" thoughhh, I feel like relistening nowww!! UT music is amazingg! My fave is definitely "Bonetrousle" lol, I just love how goofy it iss!! It's "Raining Somewhere Else" also has a special place in my hearttt!1 Anddd, Underverseee, you're so rightt!! "Soulless Heart" and "Broken Truce" are god tier!!! Also, the first time I listened to "Black Apple" I had chillsss!! So goodd!! I appreciate you so much for answering every timee! It's always so nice to talk with you :D! And it's only been a few askss lol! (ps: my nap was great, thnk youuu <3)

-☀️

ayo just came to bed to sleep and checked my inbox one last time, very glad you slept well sunnyy☆ (you feel alright if i call u that way? habshdh) IT TOOK ME BY SURPRISE ENJOYER SPOTTEDDD OMG i think i know no one who knows this song😭😭 i first listened to it maaany years ago but gave it another chance just to realize its lyrics are literally x fricking gaster and now i listen to it constantly- also super same with waiting for you, spent like the first five days listening to it on loop at least 2 hours a day💥💥💥💥 you see nyx goddamn cooked with this one (i need to yap more about this song AHRJJGG).. UGH yeah any ut song is just perfect even 070🥰 lol but yeah actually, most if not EVERY song is quite enjoyable, listening to the whole shuffled ost is very funny while doing any kind of stuff wheheh— YEAYEA SONGS LIKE SOULLESS HEART MEAN SO MUCH IN UVS SERIES😭 especially for ink's character.. i'll never get tired of making ink such a complex character in her story even if i sound repetitive😔😔

AH it's also nice to talk to u everytime ajsbdj<3 literally, since people (and specially u!!!) started giving these kind messages everything just seemed to improve❤️‍🩹 so grateful i could die.. now i'm going straight to sleep lols!! it's pretty late but that's not new for me😵‍💫 gn!

[frombirkhallwithlove]

So I noticed on your wife’s blog that she mentioned that you also associate Taylor Swift songs with Charles and Camilla so I was wondering which ones you thought are most like them??

Thanks so much for this wonderful and inspiring question! In fact, I think that quite a lot of Taylor songs could actually be written for / about Their Majesties (they most certainly aren't but I think they "pitch perfect"). A couple of months ago, I started a little something I haven't posted anywhere yet but I'm happy to share it here (and please do let me know what you think! 🥰)

Charles & Camilla's love story in quotes from Taylor Swift songs...

"We were both young when I first saw youI close my eyes and the flashback startsI'm standin' there..."

~ Love Story (obviously 🥰)

"And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us. He's in the club doing, I don't know what"

~ Gorgeous (Camilla about Andrew... I mean he IS older then them 😅 and I'm afraid the second part was just like that as well...)

"Walked in expecting you'd be late

But you got here early and you stand and wave

I walk to you

You pull my chair out and help me in

And you don't know how nice that is

But I do

And you throw your head back laughing

Like a little kid

I think it's strange that you think I'm funny, 'cause

He never did

I've been spending the last eight months

Thinking all love ever does

Is break and burn, and end

But on a Wednesday in a cafe

I watched it begin again"

~ Begin Again (because Charles treated her so much better than A. and sadly she hadn't only spent eight months but in fact five years with him at that point 👀)

"And I don't know why

But with you I'd dance in a storm

In my best dress

Fearless"

~ Fearless (for when Camilla found herself in love with the Prince of Wales... )

"But you know what they say, you can't help who you fall for

And you and I fell like an early spring snow

But reality crept in, you said we're too different"

~ I bet you think about me (for when they split (?) in December 1972 and Charles left to join the Navy... I do indeed bet they thought about each other all the time... 🥺)

"It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I go back to December all the time"

~ Back to December (for when Camilla realised that A. wasn't going to change even after their wedding and she might or might not have started to regret going back to him after Charles joined the Navy in December (!!!) of the previous year 💔

"It's nice to have a friend..."

~ obviously 🤭 (for the time they rekindled their friendship after she had married A.)

"And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite"

~ Cardigan (because he still managed to make her happy and feel good about herself while A. still treated her... well, the way the did...)

"And when we've had our very last kiss

My last request is

Say you'll remember me

Standing in a nice dress

Staring at the sunset, babe

Red lips and rosy cheeks

Say you'll see me again

Even if it's just in your wildest dreams"

~ Wildest dreams (before he married his first wife 😭)

"She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen

But I know you wish it was me

You wish it was me

Don't you?

Don't say yes, run away now

I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door

Don't wait, or say a single vow

You need to hear me out

And they said, "Speak Now""

~ Speak Now (if only I could go on a time traveller and do exactly that on a certain day in July '81)

"You've got a smile that can light up this whole town

I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down..."

~ You belong with me (... 😔)

"She said "James, get in, let's drive"

Those days turned into nights

Slept next to her, but

I dreamt of you all summer long"

~ Betty (for when he realised he still loved her 😭)

"'Cause there we are again when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well"

~ All too well (for when they finally got back together ❤️)

"Make sure nobody sees you leave

Hood over your head, keep your eyes down

Tell your friends you're out for a run

You'll be flushed when you return

Take the road less traveled by

Tell yourself you can always stop

What started in beautiful rooms

Ends with meetings in parking lots"

~ Illicit affairs (for obvious reasons, around the late 80s/ early 90s

"Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it

My love

They are the hunters, we are the foxes

And we run

Baby, I know places we won't be found and

They'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down

'Cause I, I know places we can hide"

~ I know places (for back when they could only meet at "safe houses" from a handful of friends 🥺)

"And your secrets end up splashed on the news front page [...]

Another name goes up in lights

You wonder if you'll make it out alive"

~ The Lucky One (for 1993... 😭💔)

"My castle crumbled overnight

I brought a knife to a gunfight

They took the crown, but it's alright

All the liars are calling me one

Nobody's heard from me for months"

~ Call it what you want (for when Camilla more or less had to go into "lockdown" following the "revelations" 😔 Glad they did NOT take the crown, though)

"I've been under scrutiny

You handle it beautifully

All this shit is new to me

I feel the lavender haze creepin' up on me

Surreal, I'm damned if I do give a damn what people say

No deal, the 1950s shit they want from me

I just wanna stay in that lavender haze"

~ Lavender Haze (for the mid-90s)

"'Cause baby, I could build a castle

Out of all the bricks they threw at me

And every day is like a battle

But every night with us is like a dream"

~ New romantics (mid-/late 90s)

"Seems like there's always someone who disapproves

They'll judge it like they know about me and you

And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do

The jury's out, but my choice is you

So don't you worry your pretty, little mind

People throw rocks at things that shine

And life makes love look hard

The stakes are high, the water's rough

But this love is ours"

~ Ours (for when they finally "went public" from 1999 onwards 🥰❤️

"Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone

I keep waiting for you, but you never come

Is this in my head? I don't know what to think

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said, "Marry me, Juliet

You'll never have to be alone

I love you and that's all I really know

I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress

It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes""

~ Love Story, for when he finally asked her and she agreed 😍😍😍😭

"But in your life you'll do things

Greater than dating the boy on the football team

But I didn't know it at fifteen"

~ Fifteen (because I think our darling girl really had no idea that she was going to do MUCH greater things in her life than dating/marrying a certain Cavalry Officer even at 25... and probably not even at 57, when she finally married her Prince 🤭)

"I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night

And now I see daylight, I only see daylight"

~ Daylight (because she was finally married to the love of her life and slowly but surely began to discover her potential and became more and more confident in her role 🥰)

"Stick with me, I'm your Queen."

~ London Boy (for when destiny fulfilled itself and she did become his Queen... 🥺😭)

"Long live the walls

We crashed through

How the kingdom lights shined

Just for me and you

I was screaming long live

All the magic we made

And bring on all the pretenders

One day we will be remembered"

~ Long Live (because the kingdom lights will shine for them on May 6th 😍😍😍)

[nicksnyopagodna]

"Twenty Five, Twenty One (2521)"

(KOREAN DRAMA RECOMMENDATION from TVN)

(Brief summary)

"Twenty-Five, Twenty-One" is a love story between Na Hee-Do as (Kim Tae-Ri) and Back Yi-Jin as (Nam Joo-Hyuk).

It began to a Financial Crissis in South Korean, because of that the two main leads have shows the suffering in their life in times of their young age, and the both of them shows what could be the affect of crisis in their teenage life. It shows many in sights of the two it can be (financial, loved ones, living style and their story) that leads them to meet and build a another pages of story.

This show explained in through the eyes of a young ballet performer, Kim Min Chae, who decides to quit ballet despite the support and encouragement from her mother, Na Hee Do. She retreats to her grandmother's home and finds her mom's diaries from the '90s. And so, another story from a different timeline unfolds.

Because of the Diary of Na Hee Doo in her past young age Kim Min Chae changes her sights in life and she discover her true self, she became more caurageous to persue her dream in ballet.

"Let me tell you why TWENTY-FIVE, TWENTY ONE worth watching"

Twenty Five, Twenty One has many themes that challenges me that life has just many choices. It will take you to the highs, lows, the strange, and beautiful moments that form a patchwork of different memories. An overall reflection of how life consists of brief moments that slowly flow away with time. It is a bittersweet drama that will make you ache in the most beautiful way.

Twenty Five Twenty One, could thought you many life lessons that will definitely changes you as a young teenager who is still in the process in building a dream for their future.

Twenty Five, Twenty One brings the deepest of heartaches on me😔, but it will also give me the most beautiful realizations in life. It will make me hug my loved ones tighter, hold on to passing moments longer, and ultimately teach me to love without regrets. The drama taught me that there are moments in life that we think would last forever, but they actually won't. But it's okay. At least it happened. At least in my memories, it's still alive, real, and breathing.

The theme of the Series was Nostalgic, fresh. Twenty-Five, Twenty-One is the show that really shows me how to became a dreamer but I didn’t know that it became pieces that build me Kdrama is all I need in my life because I can't leave without K-Drama HAHAHHAHA.

To top it all off, the OST really hits me different it gives me that vibes that ohhhhhh... I needed to wait 1 week again to see what happens next.

One of my favorite things about this show, is how fresh it feels. My teenage life experiences right now hits in this Drama, it gives me realization in focusing in my dreams goals in my life.

To those who is still stuck in their youth days don't worry "2521" will be your comfort so I definitely Recommend this K-Drama.

This drama will let you reminisce about the old times, specifically in the ’90s. The Tamagotchi, marbles, beepers, and old models of cellphones are some of those things that will make us feel nostalgic and as we look back on those precious times, we will get to appreciate the beauty of it more.

I love this so much that I really became obsessed re-watching it never getting tired because everyday it applied to me, everyday I came across to many different challenges and watching it gives me many advices that I really need.

This is not just a Kdrama it is a lesson for those dreamer who wants to be part of this world. May be one day you can applied the lesson that you see in this Drama in your next part of journey.

Watch it here :

[actualhumansunshine]

Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?? Fingers crossed that this makes it to your inbox.

I’m a few hours early, but wanted to make sure I wished you a “Happy Birthday!” I hope you are doing well and your 32nd trip around the sun is a memorable one. Were you able to see Niall while he was on tour? Did you get to have your gooey cake (can’t remember what you call it, but you poke holes in the cake and then pour condensed milk, I think, over the holes)? I think I remember reading about this in one of your posts/in your tags. Gosh I miss reading your tags on things 😭 Anyway, let’s get to the real reason why I’m here. 1.) something you learned the last year

2.) something you regret

3.) something you wish someone had told you

4.) what do you want to be when you grow up

5.) a song you heard that you love

Hoping you spend your day doing something fun and you are content (or feeling however you wish - hey maybe you want to be sad and that’s ok). Thinking of you. 🥳

HELLO!!!! before we get into the rest of it i just want to say how much i appreciate you showing up every single year, and that goes doubly so now when i've been more mia than not 😭

unfortunately i wasn't able to see niall on tour (the downsides of living in buttfuck nowhere 😔), but rand and gwen sent me some really lovely videos when they went to the MSG shows so i almost feel like i DID see him.

and you remembered the cake too omg!! you're right, you pour condensed milk and caramel over it, then top with whipped cream. it's SO fucking good. this year tho, i decided to get an oreo blizzard ice cream cake from dairy queen and it was fucking delicious.

anyways onto the questions:

i don't exactly know how to phrase this as 'something i learned' but i feel like my biggest takeaway from the past year is that i finally feel like at the big ol' age of 31 going on 32 i'm like....coming into myself? figuring out who i am and what i like and how i want to spend my time and who i want to surround myself with and all of that. so maybe the thing i've learned is that what everybody says about your 30s being the time when you REALLY get to enjoy life as a fully realized human is actually true.

this isn't a cop out i swear, but i....don't think i have a regret from the past year? at least not anything major that really stands out rn? there's maybe a fleeting thought every once in a while that i wish i could've gotten to this part of my life where i really do feel so happy and fulfilled sooner, but i don't know that it's necessarily a regret because ultimately isn't it the journey that makes us who we are...

oh god, i really am just gonna be repeating myself from the past however many fucking years but GENUINELY it's ok to not have everything figured out!!! the day will come when it starts falling into place and up until that point it kinda fucking sucks but that's ok!!!! again, it's all just part of the journey 💕

honestly i LOVE that job i'm in right now so if i could just do that...i'd be so down (and yes it is the same job i talked about last year lol)

and once again, as per usual, you fucking know me and you know that i could never share just ONE song, so here's a top five of the year:

charlie xcx - von dutch (literally THEEE gym song of all time)

zach bryan - the good i'll do

tyler childers - all your'n

artic monkeys - stop the world i wanna get off with you

sabrina carpenter - bed chem (i know it just came out two days ago but i've listened approximately 5 bazillion times, song of all time, album of all time, artist of all time, HORNY QUEEN 👑🫶)

[t4tdanvis]

This ask is your sign to talk about any of your aus (please do)

😼 you dont know how much i LOVE talking about my aus

i have like 10000000000000000 different aus but i will choose one of them to talk about rn. one i dont think ive talked about much on tumblr?? ive talked about it a LOT in the aphverse server im in so shout out to yall for putting up with me /j

this au is also probably the au that made me extremely obsessed with vylad. not my fault hes just so fucking attractive 😔

so anyways. dante and gene both get kidnapped by a "medical research" company (which is a front for like. human experimentation). later they find out that garte is the ceo of that company and bc hes friends with dante and gene's dad (shittiest dads in the world gotta stick together /j) their dad basically just handed them over to be experimented on

so anyways they have wings now!! dante has black wings and gene has white wings. also the experiments messed with the colors of their hair. here is a very quick sketch of what they look like now

dante is 22-ish and gene is 24-ish whenever they escape the lab (they were both there for 4 years). vylad is the one who helps them escape (however dante ends up getting separated from them and runs off. dw hes fine he finds travis, garroth, and laurance)

uh... i should probably explain the setting. and then we will talk about my bbg vylad 😁

so this takes place in the future obviously. its a dystopian future where uhhh basically a while (30-40 years) ago a bunch of countries went to war and completely destroyed most of the landscape of the world and killed off a LOT of the population and now the world is sorta trying to rebuild itself back up. the place where the story mainly takes place is o'khasis city, which garte is the governor of. its one of the (relatively) safest places for many many miles, and traveling across whats basically a desert filled with random people out there doing anything to survive is dangerous.

ur also just not allowed to leave the city without permission (and u have to have a very good reason to leave). this is for a lot of reasons including how dangerous is outside and also bc they want everyone to stay there so they have enough people to keep everything running smoothly

anyways. vylad. hes got a lot of lore. oh god

so first of all. vylad, zane, and garroth all have the very unfortunate luck of being the kids of garte. when gartes kids were 5, 6, and 7 respectively, he began working on a mind control drug that would basically make anyone who took it do whatever he said. at first, it didnt work super well, and he spent many years getting his scientists to perfect it. before he could fully perfect it, vylad ran away when they were 11, so they were never fully under mind control. zane and garroth, however, were put under full mind control and have been ever since (you do have to keep taking the drug about once every 24 hours or the effects will start to wear off, but garte can just tell them "take one of these a day" and theyll have to).

vylad knows about what garte is doing but doesnt have any evidence, and the side effects of the drug mean that his brain just sorta fucks itself over (giving him headaches, making his limbs not move properly, causing him to black out) whenever garte tells him to do anything (this is because the drug was very much a prototype and it permanently fucked up his brain)

when vylad ran away, about five days after he escaped he sorta just passed out in an alleyway on the edge of town. that happened to be the alleyway that sasha, gene, and zenix were currently staying in - sasha manages to convince gene and zenix to Maybe Not Kill This Random Kid and vylad wakes up after like 18 hours and is like "what thje fuck happended"

anyways, sasha, gene, zenix, and vylad quickly become a team, although vylad is the only one who goes and sneaks out of town randomly every few days (hes going to garte's company's lab to see if theyve created a cure for the mind control drug, because theyre trying to create a cure as a backup just in case anything goes wrong)

gene is technically not a runaway, they still mostly live at home with dante and maria. their dad isnt really in their life at all, until he randomly shows up when theyre like 20 and suddenly dante and gene mysteriously disappear a couple days later

vylad immediately knows what happened, but unfortunately the section of the lab where he knows theyre keeping gene and dante is super high security. if he gets caught, theres literally no hope for anyone because garte will just put him under the mind control drug forever. so it takes four entire years for him to rescue gene and dante

thankfully, garte didnt have them put the two under the mind control drug, since he needs all of it for zane and garroth. which makes vylad's job a little easier lol

oh yeah also remember when i said that dante gets found by travis, garroth, and laurance? yeah. garroth is 100% under mind control (which does give you bright green, glowing eyes, but he hides that with contacts) and is being forced by garte to spy on his friends. and whenever she, travis, and laurance find dante, she reports back to garte that one of the escaped experiments has been found, and so garte tells him to go find gene as well.

i need to actually write this bc this is something i actually wanna write instead of just rotate around in my brain forever HDFHDGGHDGHDF so im not gonna tell u all the plot. L for u ig /j

oh also vylad and zenix are very good friends. the best of friends. just guys being dudes. a couple of pals. just some buddies who send each other romantic letters when theyre apart and also kiss each other. just super close friends :)

also sasha has a pet snake and zenix has two pet rats (xe uses xeir rats to carry letters to vylad) :>

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning from Charlottesville, Virginia! ☕️

Fortune

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak told ABC News that he had “minor but real stroke” while attending the World Business Forum in Mexico City, confirming reports from Wednesday

Here’s hoping for a full and speedy recovery!

The Iconfactory

The latest update to Linea Sketch is now available! From textures to thumbnail cropping, version 4.3 is packed with clever new features to make sketching on your iPad easier and more fun than ever.

By now I think you all know about my deep love for The Iconfactory. They are the brains behind Twitterrific — may Ollie rest in peace — and Wallaroo. But they also make this amazing drawing app called Linea Sketch!

The Iconfactory also does design work and consultations. They recently did the artwork for Stream’s feature in the App Store . They’re extremely talented and so easy to work with. Give them a shout if you needs some design work!

If you’re an artist you should give it a try and see how you like it.

Thanksgiving FYI

Hi, I’m Jim, an enthusiastic and dedicated home cook with more than a dozen Thanksgivings under my belt. I’ve hosted everything from small friendsgivings to giant multi-family affairs in foreign kitchens and I’ve assembled some strategies to help make the day great.

Jim is an internet pal and extremely nice fellow.

Thanksgiving FYI is Jim’s Thanksgiving newsletter chock full of tips and recipes for, you guessed it, Thanksgiving!

Who doesn’t like a good thanksgiving recipe?

I’d imagine you can still sign up and get everything he’s already published if you’d like and at $5 it’s a real steal! You even get access to a Slack so you can chat with others about the big day! 🦃

John Scalzi

FYI, I’m Writing a Film Column For Uncanny Magazine

I didn’t know it but John Scalzi was a reporter for the Fresno Bee at one time. Wild!

It’s incredible to me how much work this man churns out in a year. Here’s hoping his column is well received and long lived.

Kevin Purdy • Ars Technica

It’s not quite the end of Tumblr, but when management is supposedly sending memos with the Lord Tennyson quote about having “loved and lost,” it doesn’t look like there’s much of a future.

I’ve had a Tumblr account for years and years and I cross post to it, like I do Mastodon, but I’ve never used it as my primary blog. I’d considered it multiple times but I was never happy with their fixed taxonomy. I like to publish my posts in a Y/M/D format and Tumblr doesn’t support that. They also don’t publish static HTML which is another strike against them.

I’m bummed out by the possibility of it disappearing. It’s one of those internet properties I’d like to see stick around. It’s also looks like they’re gonna drop ActivityPub. 😔

Jason Snell • Macworld

There’s no real way to gloss over the fact that Mac sales went down 34 percent versus the year-ago quarter. And yet, for some reason, Maestri and Cook got out their Tom Sawyer paintbrushes and got to work.

At some point hyper-growth will stop. It’s just the way it is. Of course Apple offsets this by raising prices, which isn’t a surprise.

I got my first M based Mac early last year and didn’t unwrap it and start using it until early summer because I felt that my x86 Mac was fine. Luckily I decided to take the plunge to M2 land because I went from being a Director back to being a Software Engineer.

For me I’d guess this M2 could easily go for five years before it feels sluggish, and who knows, maybe beyond that?

As I like to say. I’m not compiling Photoshop or Microsoft Word. I’m just compiling iOS Apps. Even big iOS apps written in Swift build super fast. I’d even wager an M1 MacBook Air would blow the doors off my old x86 based Mac. They’re fast!

Marc Anthony Lopez • abc30.com

The founders and co-CEOs of failed tech company Bitwise have been charged for a $100 million fraud scheme following a federal investigation.

This one hurts. I know Irma — Irms as everyone calls her — and Jake. I’m having a difficult time believing they’d do something illegal like this and I still want to believe it was a horrible blunder. 😔

Emma Roth • The Verge

Disney’s combined Disney Plus and Hulu streaming app is on the way. As part of its fourth-quarter earnings results, Disney announced it’s going to launch the new app in beta for bundle subscribers in December, with the official launch coming in early spring 2024.

We are Hulu subscribers, Kim loves it. It makes me wonder how much it’ll change or will it literally be merging what Hulu offers directly into the app? So far Max seems to be fine with this strategy, although I’d prefer to have HBO content front and center instead of the mix of items we have today. Here’s hoping they do a great job combining the properties. I think they will.

Jonathan Lamont • MobileSyrup

Telus has joined Rogers in offering an online tool for customers to manage their eSIMs.

Telus is the grandparent company of WillowTree so I had to share this news.

Mark Frauenfelder • Boing Boing

Trump plans to deploy military on Inauguration Day, seize government agencies, and purge critics

This doesn’t surprise me. I fully expect his next term (he’ll never leave) in office to be a full on MAGA revenge tour. Our democracy will fail under the strain. We cannot let this guy become President again.

[fruti2flutie]

extra notes (potential spoilers ahead!!!):

written for seungchan fest 🐺🐶

the title taken from "you'll never know" from the shape of water (2017) soundtrack, sung by renée fleming

i literally Did Not rewatch this movie. i wrote it using my memory of watching it several years ago, the wiki synopsis, and Summer Vibes. also, the power of seungchan 🩷

the multimedia format was inadvertently inspired by one last stop by casey mcquinston. i didn't realize that's where i got the idea from until i cracked open the book (which i have not finished yet asdfghj) and saw that the beginning of every chapter has some sort of headline or text media!! i have horrible memory lol i think using different formats like pics or headlines is just a fun way to tell a story that's not the actual writing, if that makes sense?? it's another way of setting up exposition that isn't just Text hehe

my first fest fic...!! i get very worried at deadlines so i tend to stay away from fests bc i don't think i'll write in a timely manner. but out of curiosity i glimpsed thru the prompts & this one caught my attention 😳 i went back to it like... five times before making the decision to apply, and then hit the ground running 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

I HAD NO IDEA HOW LONG IT WOULD GET!!!! i outlined pretty much all the scenes, debated between a chapter format vs oneshot, figured out the media interludes... what i ended up with (30k oneshot) felt right in the end, and pretty on brand (i.e. i only know how to write long fics 😔)

i feel like i see a lot of chan being a creature in fics, so i wanted to flip the script & make seungmin the non-human entity. a fish? an alien?? who knows what he is!!!! he's very interested in bang chan, maybe to the point of imprinting??? it's an intellectual & emotional connection that just... happens. love 🩷

after LMB got announced & the ties to zionism got exposed, i was very very very hesitant to continue working on this fic. i might've been 3/4 done with it at that point? it was pretty disheartening as a fan, and writing felt.... bad for a while. i did my best to avoid any & all content regarding the collab, and i'm doing my best to stay informed. a free palestine is more important than kpop & streams!!!!

the time period of the original movie is set in 1960s, and since i'm never too into researching for fics i tried to make a setting that was more comfortable for me to write. i chose modern day! more specifically, the vague pacific northwest lol some references are for real places (e.g. tiger sugar, the puget sound, etc.) while others aren't (e.g. bayleigh's bayou, gangnam grub, etc.).

elisa, the main character of the movie, is mute with damaged vocal chords. she doesn't communicate with The Creature verbally at all. in contrast, i wrote HoH!chan to pay homage to her with telepathic!seungmin so i could write their dialogue more smoothly. chan's rambling is so important to me, and i don't think i would be able to write him unable to speak his mind.

seungmin's "dick compartment" legitimately was what convinced me to bump this fic from Mature to Explicit 😳 i had to explain it 😳

the climax of the story may have been inspired by a werewolf boy (2012). it damaged my young heart & i can't tell u how much i cried watching it,, hopefully i was able to recreate an ounce of that pain??

making up seungmin's youtube history was one of my fav parts!!! the shu and tree dog grooming youtube channel is sooooo comforting to watch, i'm glad i found it 🥹

i didn't mean to include all the skz in this fic tbh... like, hyunjin was gonna be an even lesser side character!!! but i loved writing him into a bigger role, and it really can't be a fic by me unless all of them have an appearance 🥲

speaking of: minho is the kind of significant other that makes sure changbin always smells like clean linens 🥰

while making the media interludes made a Significant Mistake that i have no idea how to fix & therefore will live in this fic forever. if anyone catches it, i'll audibly cry to them. truly. for reals.

moonlight & memories

summary: Chan discovers– Well, no. He finds– That isn't exactly right either. Maybe the moon goes full, the stars align just right, and he feels an impossible, otherworldly connection. He meets Seungmin, and falls into the deep.

pairing: seungchan (seungmin/bang chan), minor background relationships

rating: NC-17

posted: june 1, 2024

———-

Something is there. Undeniably, something is there, in the tall grass. The movement is too irregular to just be from the fan's wind. Closer to the light is a shadow. An indiscernible figure. Something.

(read on ao3)

[heavyhitterheaux]

FTCU

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU 

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, softtcurse, danivaletine, mortirolo, saweetie, glorillapimp, and 3,459,182 others

y/ninsta: fucking the club up with none other than glorillapimp 💕😘

saweetie: my girls killing it 😍😍

glorillapimp: they weren't ready mamas! thank you for having me 🥺

y/ninsta: saweetie love you 😘

y/ninsta: glorillapimp any time boo!

jackharlow: you fucking the club up, but I wanna fuck you 🙈

y/ninsta: jackharlow JACKMAN THOMAS! 😭😭😭😭

urbanwyatt: here we go 🙄

jackharlow: y/ninsta what I do, baby? 😟

neelamthadhani: jackharlow not you trying to act all innocent 🙄

jackharlow: I did absolutely nothing wrong

2forwoyne: it never ends

jackharlowsource: how is y/ninsta not pregnant yet? Lol

urbanwyattsource: jackharlowsource "nasty little bitch and I swallow" that tells us all we need to know

jackharlow: 2forwoyne not my fault she look good all the damn time 🤷‍♂️

dualipa: jackharlow I second that

jackharlow: dualipa no.

dualipa: jackharlow one of these days she's gonna fold

jackharlow: dualipa when she ends up pregnant, I don't want to hear a WORD outta you. fold my ass.

dualipa: jackharlow you act like me being a step mother is off the table 🤔

jackharlow: dualipa forget a blow torch, I gotta upgrade to a grenade

y/ninsta: jackharlow smush

jackharlow: y/ninsta you called my love? 😍

y/ninsta: jackharlow I miss you 😔

jackharlow: y/ninsta tell brandisimmons you need to hop on a plane to L.A. to get this dick

y/ninsta: jackharlow lmaooooo

brandisimmons: jackharlow no. your wife is working

jackharlow: y/ninsta what you laughing for? I'm serious and brandisimmons you act like that is supposed to stop me

saweetie: jackharlow you don't give my girl any type of breaks lmao

lilnasx: at all lol

sza: not gonna lie though, group chat was LIT two weeks ago

druski2funny: sza oh? share with the class

sza: druski2funny no.

druski2funny: sza just a tiny hint!?!

normani: druski2funny I repeat. bad bitches only.

mortirolo: this is off topic but 2forwoyne COUNT YOUR DAYS

jackharlow: uh oh here she go

mortirolo: jackharlow don't start because you can get this smoke too

urbanwyatt: 😟😟😟

jackharlow: I told yall Nicole doesn't like me

y/ninsta: jackharlow yes she does! mortirolo be nice to hubby please

mortirolo: y/ninsta maybe next week

2forwoyne: mortirolo I didn't do it

mortirolo: 2forwoyne oh? So my iced pound cake just got up and walked away?

2forwoyne: aight imma head out

claybornharlow: talk to me, talk to me, talk to me BABY 😍😍

jackharlow: claybornharlow NO.NO.NO. GO AWAY 😡

allthingsy/n: little brother choosing violence once again lmaoooo

claybornharlow: y/ninsta let me know when you drop him

danivalentine: CLAY!

claybornharlow: 👨‍🦯👨‍🦯👨‍🦯

y/ninsta: claybornharlow MY BABY!

jackharlow: y/ninsta you don't get that excited for me 🙄

y/ninsta: jackharlow yes I do so stop lying

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta please come see your husband. he is complaining every five minutes about missing you

quiiso: please because I'm getting flashbacks to when she went on that girls trip and we all just about died 😭😭😭

shloob_: jackharlow is bad when he's away from her for a few hours but this was an entire WEEK

yungskylark: I could have smothered him with a pillow but I didn't want to have to explain that to y/ninsta

jackharlow: not yall throwing me under the bus 😟

y/ninsta: jackharlow smush, not a bus but an entire tractor trailer lmaoooo

jackharlow: I WAS NOT THAT BAD

nemoachida: jackharlow admit it. you were.

neelamthadhani: jackharlow you were terrible that week

jackandy/naremyparents: jackharlow would literally cease to exist without his baby y/ninsta

jackharlow: jackandy/naremyparents and I have no shame 😌

2forwoyne: I remember when jackharlow called her to figure out what temperature to put the oven on to warm up a meal she made for him

quiiso: and he called to see how much sugar to put in his tea

shloob_: and remember when he got that paper cut? I thought we were going to have to call 911

jackharlow: ANYWAY, y/ninsta soooo what you tryna do? 👀😏

y/ninsta: jackharlow give me 3 hours

brandisimmons: Y/N!!!!!

y/ninsta: brandisimmons my man is calling meeee byeeeeee

brandisimmons: GET BACK HERE!

saweetie: don't break any headboards this time lmao

jackharlow: y/ninsta YOU TOLD THEM THAT!?

y/ninsta: jackharlow one of your best performances and I couldn't walk for a week 🤷🏾‍♀️

jackharlow: y/ninsta hurry up so I can teach you a lesson

y/ninsta: jackharlow don't have to tell me twice 😏

Taglist:

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@evansxchalamet 

[violetsandfluff]

Could you write something where shawn and reader are dating in college and maybe it’s like summer and they get in a big argument over shawn making a rude comment a few days ago and his parents notice how she doesn’t come round lately and it’s like shawn gets really upset talking to his parents about it and ends up going to her house only to find she’s gone on holiday with her friends and it’s just him being a lost puppy looking at photos of them two together until she gets back and he just admits how big of an idiot he was

certainly 😔 it’s so sweet <3333333333 i didn’t proofread this and it’s not great bc i kinda have writer’s block so yeahhh

Shawn’s room seemed so small and dark without you there lighting it up.

His parents had noticed how he had distanced himself from you lately, and they were trying to pry all of the information out of him. They were sitting on the small, low couch in his room as he sat on his bed, refusing to say anything.

He picked weakly at the one of the ties on his quilt, but didn’t say anything until he realized his parents weren’t going anywhere.

“I made her mad,” he said finally, swallowing hard. “I don’t think she likes me anymore.”

“What did you do?” Karen asked as she sent a sidelong glance at Manny, who looked rather uncomfortable himself.

“I…” Shawn grimaced as he remembered the words flying out of his mouth. The expression on Y/N’s face was one of pain and disbelief and he hoped never to see it again.

“I called her an attention seeker,” he said quickly, feeling hot tears prick the back of his eyes as he remembered her response.

“I didn’t know you felt that way, baby—err—Shawn.”

“And why would you say that?”

“I was jealous,” Shawn whimpered as he pulled a pillow up against his chest. “I told her I was sorry.”

“Why were you jealous?” Manny asked at the same time Karen asked, “How did you apologize?”

Shawn just looked down, face flaming with shame. “I told her via text.”

Karen shook her head while Manny insisted, “why were you jealous?”

“She was really close with this… this guy in her pictures and I got really jealous. Turns out the guy was her cousin.”

Manny put a hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh, but Shawn noticed.

It made him feel even worse.

Karen pushed her husband out of the room and came to sit at the end of her son’s bed. “You wanna go over to her house now?”

Shawn nodded with a sniffle as he wiped his eyes. He grabbed his phone and keys and began the short walk to your house.

When he got there, his heart sank.

All of the lights were off and there were no cars in the garage. He stood at the door in shock for a few moments until your nosy neighbor poked her nose out of her door.

“They’re on vacation,” she said in a nasally, high-pitched voice as she emerged onto her porch, pulling her obnoxious floral robe around her. She looked a mess. Her frizzy white hair was falling out of its curlers, and she was only wearing one slipper.

Shawn grimaced at the sight of her, but he stuck around to listen to what she had to say.

“They went up north for the week to visit [your/dad’s/name]’s parents. They were gonna get a hotel on their way back for one night and they should be back on Wednesday.”

Wednesday.

That was five whole days away. Shawn didn’t want to bother you while you were on vacation, but he couldn’t wait to apologize. He settled for leaving a handwritten note in the mailbox, telling you to come over the second she got home.

After that, all he had to do was lay on his bed in the dark and play his guitar, the same four chords over and over again.

His parents found it incredibly hilarious that he was so depressed over such a minor argument, but his conscience was eating away at him.

He woke up early on Wednesday morning and waited on the couch by the door for you. All day passed and you didn’t show up. At nearly midnight, he returned to his room, at a loss. He had no way to apologize now.

A gentle knock on his door stirred him from a restless sleep. He opened his eyes to see his mom peeking into his room.

“You have a visitor,” she explained and he sat up to see you standing there.

You entered his room, eyes on the ground, as he watched you, trying to figure out how to state his apology.

You sat down on the edge of his couch, hands on your arms as if you were cold.

“I’m so sorry,” he blurted out once Karen had closed the door. He refrained from calling you baby, in case you were still angry. “That was a stupid fucking thing for me to do and I’m so sorry.”

You looked up from the ground, ready to forgive him, when you saw big tears falling down his rosy cheeks.

“Aww, Shawnie,” you cooed. “Come over here. I forgive you.”

Shawn got up, blanket still wrapped around his shoulders, and sat down beside you. He laid his head in your lap and pulled the blanket tighter around himself as you played with his sleep-tangled curls.

“I love you, baby,” you whispered into his ear. “I’m not mad.”

A smile played on his lips as he fell back asleep, comforted by your presence.

Taglist: @butlersluvr @chocochipcookie305 @fishingirl12 @monikamendes @pamelagramm

[souperbulous]

forever - fatgum x reader

a/n: i had started working on this a few weeks ago and just never finished so here it is. kinda stole his idea from an old oneshot i wrote about tamaki but. but it's okay 😔 the reader in this is gender neutral!

word count: 700

warnings: n/a just straight fluff

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Your alarm screamed at you, begging you to wake up. You groaned, reaching for your phone and quickly turning off the alarm, rubbing your eyes. Taishiro was still fast asleep beside you, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. You attempted to pull away from him, but his grip only tightened.

“(Y/N), what time is it?” he grumbled, burying his face into the crook of your neck. You gave him a pat on his arm in hopes he would let go. He didn’t move an inch.

“It’s five in the morning, hon- I’ve gotta get ready for work.”

“What? You don’t leave for work ‘til eight, though…”

“Well, if you want me to make breakfast, you’re gonna have to let go,” you reminded him, attempting to pull away from him again. Of course, your attempts were futile. Although you were strong, he was much stronger.

“I don’t care about that. We can just go out to eat for breakfast today,” he mumbled stubbornly, determined to keep you in bed with him for a little while longer. He began planting little kisses all along your neck and your jawline. You had lost this battle, and you both knew it. “Just a few more minutes? Please?”

You sighed, turning around in his arms and cupping his doughy face in your hands, smiling. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“Oh, trust me, I know I am.”

He pulled you in as close to him as he possibly could, his hands resting comfortably on the small of your back. Even in his skinny form, he was extremely soft to the touch and extremely squishy, like a pillow, and a nice pillow, too. Like a hotel pillow.

“You know I’m obsessed with you, right? You know I’m in love with you?” he asked you, playing with your hair and continuing to kiss along your neck. “I feel like I don’t say that enough…”

“I do know… and I love you too, hon.”

He smiled against you, nuzzling his face into your chest. He was always extremely affectionate when the two of you first woke up in the morning. He was extremely affectionate all day long, really. Although in past relationships you had always doubted that your partner actually loved you, you never doubted Taishiro. You knew he loved you more than he loved anything else in this world.

“Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have to work, so we could just stay home all day and I could hold you, like this,” he muttered beneath his breath. You laughed, caressing his cheek.

“I’m sure people would miss you if you stopped working, though. A lot of people look up to you, Tai.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled tiredly, now pulling you in for a real kiss. You immediately melted into his touch. He always tasted so sweet, it was almost criminal. He pulled away from you, keeping his lips only an inch away from your own. You whined, leaning in to kiss him again, but he pulled away.

“Weren’t you the one complaining about needing to get up just a minute ago?” he asked with a smirk. Oh, so he was teasing you, was he?

“I can still get up anytime I want,” you reminded him. “In fact, I think I’ll be getting up now if you’re done with me-”

His grip on your waist tightened. “Fine, fine, you win. It’s a shame, really. I should’ve married someone who loved me for my charming personality rather than someone who only loves me for my kisses.”

“Oh, shush, you know I love you for more than just your kisses. They are nice, though,” you said, planting little kisses all around his mouth. Now he was the one leaning into you, hoping for a proper kiss.

“Say please,” you jeered.

“We’ve been together for six years and you’re going to make me say please to get a kiss from you?”

“Yep. Go on, I’m waiting.”

He sighed, rolling his eyes at you. “May I please have a kiss?”

“Since you asked so nicely,” you joked, pulling him in for another kiss. You couldn’t help but agree with Taishiro a little bit. Sometimes, you did wish you could stay like this with him forever.

[latenightdislyte]

Hi! Could you do a Falken x reader fic where the reader is recovering from some injuries but refuses to sit still for too long so Falken has to keep an eye on them to get them to recover properly? I too am obsessed with this man and I’m sad that there aren’t a lot of fics about him. 😔

I apologize if this sounded weird or doesn’t make sense, this is my first time requesting a fic and couldn’t figure out a good prompt to give. Love your fics btw!😁

Buh, I had a page and a half written for this and my brain tried to say 'but what if we did this instead' like, no brain I've already rewritten this once, we're sticking with this, fuck off with your shenanigans. I'll have to work on writing for Falken more so sorry if he seems ooc.

I'm glad that I'm the first person you've made a request to. It makes me happy! This was a good prompt and I think Falken fits it perfectly. Thank you for the support! <3

Anyway hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Working for the Esper Union always had its risks, especially for those who weren’t espers. Some of us in the offices worked with some sensitive paperwork and reports making us targets for those wanting information, like the Shadow Decree. I myself had never had a problem with anything or anyone. Until recently, that is. I was only supposed to be working a five hour shift that day, but was asked to stay and make it a nine hour. With the shift extension, I was required to take a lunch break at the time I was originally supposed to get off, not knowing that I had some… company waiting for me.

The Shadow Decree had been tipped off to the times certain people were supposed to be off work and waited to follow them a safe distance away from the Union HQ before attacking. Unknown to them, I was just going to lunch and still had a specific device on me. One that allowed me to contact certain members of the Union regarding paperwork and questions.

I had already been messed up pretty bad by the time I remembered that I had it. Thankfully it hadn’t been broken and I quickly used it to tell them what was going on before it had been snatched out of my hands. Not too long after my device had been taken from me, Commander Falken and a couple Union Ops Chiefs had arrived and quickly took care of the Decree members with only a couple of them getting away. Falken had taken me to the med bay himself while the Ops Chiefs stayed behind to clean up the mess and make sure there wasn’t anyone lingering about.

That leaves me in the state I’m currently in. I had received some bad injuries here and there, but the main ones were a large gash on my leg and a spot on my head where I had been hit hard. The whole incident happened three or four days ago and they didn’t hurt that bad anymore, only on occasion when I step or turn wrong with that specific leg or swing my head too fast. I figured that, as long as I was careful, I could be at work. Wouldn’t want to get too behind on reports and paperwork and I felt bad that they might have shoved all of my work on someone else.

I made my way to my desk, ignoring the slight burning coming from my leg injury. No one seemed concerned about my condition, they just welcomed me back glad that I was ok. As long as I didn’t run into a certain someone I should be able to get through the work day with no problem. I didn’t need him worrying about me while he had plenty of work to do himself after all. He has a tendency to fret too much.

I stretched my injured leg out in front of me after sitting down, situating a small trash can under it to prop it up, and began to work. I was right about the build up of work and am glad I chose to come in today, anymore and I would have to put in overtime while skipping some breaks to catch up. First things first, I needed to get the paperwork organized and make sure it was all in order from when it was placed here.

Short time skip

I hadn’t been working for too long when I felt my stomach rumble. I’ll admit, I didn’t eat much for breakfast, coffee makes me feel full for some reason. Pushing my chair back, I stood and stretched before making a b-line to the lounge. There was always someone who brought snacks for everyone and if something wasn’t to my taste I could just hit up the vending machine.

Entering the lounge, I froze. Great, of course he was here at this time. Falken stood looking out the window as usual, it was something you could find him doing quite often. A favorite pastime of his. Maybe I could get past him without him noticing me. Last time I got the least bit hurt around him he wouldn’t leave me alone ‘til I let him tend to it. It was a cardstock cut. A little over the top if you ask me. Seeing as how he knew about my current state, he would undoubtedly be on my case about being here today, especially after insisting that I stay home ‘til I was better.

I quietly made my way to the fridge, not wanting to draw his attention to myself. I’ll leave him to his thoughts. “I had heard you had come in today, though I was hoping they were mistaken.” Damn it. I turned to the slim man still facing the window, my eyes meeting his through the reflection. “Commander Falken, I’m fine. Really. I just take care of paper and computer work, not much else.” He turned, stepping a foot back to face me. “It’s the stress and exertion of energy that is the problem, energy your body needs to heal itself. You’d be better much sooner if you were at home resting.” I turned back to the fridge and finally saw something that caught my attention. “I already have plenty of work piled up from just, what, three or four days? I can get caught up today and maybe take tomorrow off. I can come in every other day. How’s that?” I turned back to him, snack in hand, just in time to see him shake his head, eyes closed. “Unacceptable. Come on. Time to go.” “What? Falken, come on, I’m fine. Just let me- Ow!”I hissed and jerked away. He had made his way over to me and pressed my side, pain spiking from a forgotten wound right under my rib cage. “Well yeah it’s gonna hurt when ya do that. Ow, damn.” He stepped to the side and gestured for me to go. I sighed.

Falken followed me to my desk, where I closed down the computer and gathered the less confidential papers to take with me. “Follow me for a moment, I’d like to swing by my office and grab a couple of things.” I was confused, why would he want me to go with him. He just wanted me to go home and rest right? “Uh, ok.” We went to his office and he went through some papers and leaned over his desk, clicking a couple of things on his computer before straightening up and stretching his arms in front of him.

He grabbed a shoulder bag from a hanger on the wall. “Alright, sorry about that. Let’s go.” “Wait. What are you doing?” He stopped and blinked at me, tilting his head. “Well I’m taking you home. I’d like to make sure you’re actually resting and are properly taken care of so I’ll be accompanying you.” Heat engulfed my face and I froze. Falken was… what? Shit. It was a struggle enough to keep my composer from the sight of him at work. Now he’s gonna be with me at home. Hoo boi.

The whole walk Falken silently stayed close to my side, every now and then getting a notification and typing away on his device. I walked mindlessly, trying not to think about the situation or the pain building up in my leg. My head also started to become just a bit woozy, I’d been standing too long at this point. I hadn’t realized where we were going until I had stepped through the door. That’s when it hit me. This wasn’t my place.

“Falken? I thought we were going to my place.” He turned back to me. “Hm? Ah, apologies. I forgot to mention that. Why don’t you come sit on the couch, I’ll get you some tea.” “I- sure, I guess.” Did he just change the subject on me. Whatever, I’m already here. I made my way to the living room and sat down, resting my head in my hands for a moment. “What kind of tea do you prefer: lavender chamomile, earl grey, green tea, peppermint, oh, I just got this new blueberry hibiscus herbal tea.” Without thinking I got up, a slight burn blooming from the injury, and made my way to where his voice was coming from, leading me to the kitchen. I went over to see what all he had. “What are you doing?” “Huh?” “Go lay down on the couch, I’ll get you some tea and something to eat. You need to stay off that leg and rest your head.” He shooed me away. “Now go.” I squinted at him. “Green tea or lavender chamomile sounds good.”

I sat on the couch again this time laying along it. Falken entered not too long after with two mugs, placing one on the coffee table in front of me and the other on a stand between the couch and a chair. He left momentarily, returning with the bag he had brought with him, pulling out a laptop and making himself comfortable in the chair. “Thank you, Falken.” “You’re welcome, I hope you like it. You should get some sleep after you’ve finished, your wounds will heal faster.” 

I drank the tea while scrolling around on my phone, nothing really catching my interest. Setting the now empty mug down I stared at the ceiling, mind wandering aimlessly. Until a melody played in my head. I knew instantly what it was and I smiled, no better way to pass the time than by watching movies. I searched through my movie app and quickly found it. Alice in Wonderland, the live action from many years ago. Making myself comfy, I started the movie, keeping the volume low so as to not bother Falken. 

I was about twenty minutes in when he spoke up, I think just realizing that I was watching something. “What are you doing? You should be trying to sleep.” “I just wanted to watch a movie, the song kept playing in my head and wouldn’t leave me alone. Besides, I’ll probably fall asleep while watching this anyway, so...” He sighed. “Fine, but just this one. Then you’ll get some sleep. Alright?” “Mhm!” I started the movie again smiling as it played, unaware of Falken glancing at me from his laptop with a small smile forming under the face mask he wore.

Within thirty minutes I was almost completely out, the movie still playing as my phone fell from my hands. The thunk it made woke me slightly, but I didn’t bother to pick it up. Instead opting to continue laying there and going back to sleep. I could hear movement from Falken, footsteps approaching the couch. The rustling of fabric giving away him crouching next to me, picking up my phone and placing it on the table. A gentle touch caressed my cheek, thumb stroking my cheekbone, before tucking some hair behind my ear. Then the lightest feeling brushed against my forehead and the scent of his cologne invaded my senses, my heart now pounding in my chest. 

I smiled and snuggled into the blanket I had pulled from the back of the couch, hoping that he would just brush it off as me moving in my sleep. Finally beginning to drift off, I hoped I would remember this moment when I woke up.

[darknessisafriend]

Hi my dear friend! ^^ This is my very first request, so I'm a bit nervous about asking 😅

So one of my friends passed away recently and I feel down. I would love to read something about Commodus comforting me 😔

Thank you in advance❤️

Here it is!Once again, I am so sorry for your loss darling ❤️ It is short but intense and I hope it will bring you the comfort you seeked ❤️

Too soon, why…were the words that kept running through your mind. You had lost a very dear friend some days ago and since then the world around you didn’t feel the same. Less joyful perhaps, less fun, someone less to talk to. You tried to distract yourself as you grieved, going to the games, the amphitheater, shopping, anything. But always something reminded you of your friend, or your mind would simply slip away to memories of them.

“Y/N.” called Commodus, approaching you and wrapping his arms around you. He had noticed how affected you were. He was angry that being God-Emperor didn’t give him the power to bring back your friend. “I cannot bring back your friend. But if there is anything else I can do, I shall do it.” he murmured fondly, brushing his nose against yours as if to keep you focused on him. And it worked, you looked at him in the eyes, pinching your lips to not cry.

“I…I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do.” you lightly sniffled, cupping his face, your thumb stroking his cheeks. Nothing could ever replace the empty spot your friend left in your life. Pained flashed through his eyes, he knew that too well.

“You will never stop missing the one you lost. Everyday I miss my father.” he murmured, holding you close to his body as he guided you to the Triclinium to sit down with you, making you lay your head against his shoulder and wrapping his arm around you. “But everyday I think about what he would say if I disappointed him. So everyday I vow to myself to do my best to make him proud.” he spoke fondly, and you knew well his passion and combativeness. “And everyday, I love you as if there was no tomorrow, because he would want to see me happy and you make me happy.” he added in a softer tone. “What I mean is….your friend wouldn’t want to see you so sad. They left this world knowing you loved them. They don’t need to see you cry for them…you need to be happy and live for their memory. How much they would smile and laugh by your side.”

You silently listened to his words, your eyes wet with emotion. Commodus’ words made sense, even if it was hard to apply, he was right. Your friend wouldn’t want you to stop living because they left this world…you had to live happily and enjoy life until you would meet them in the Elysian Fields, reunited again.

“You are right, my love.” you hugged him tightly, his warm embrace soothing your soul. “It might take a bit of time but I want them to smile and laugh as they watch us. They don’t need more pain.” you smiled softly as you thought of your friend’s smiling face. Commodus kissed your forehead, his hand soothingly rubbing your arm as you stayed silent for long minutes, an hour perhaps. He had even sent a messenger away, wanting to fully dedicate to your wellbeing. After this long and needed silence, you lifted your head, caressing your husband’s face.

“Can we go for a horse ride? To Ostia? They loved the sea, just like you.” you asked him, it was a nice way to start healing.

“Yes, my love. We will stay as long as you wish.” Commodus smiled tenderly, happy he was helping through this tough period.

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