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katytheinspiredworkaholic · 4 years ago

Text

Correspondence, Chapter 03

Pairing: HotchReid

Summary: An AU where Reid never joined the FBI, but got roped into consulting for the LA field office while working and teaching at Caltech. Hotch gets his email referred from a fellow agent, and they start to work on cases together -- until they start talking on a regular basis. Regular becomes frequent, frequent becomes constant. They know nothing about each other, but they don't really mind.

Rating: Mature/Explicit (eventually)

Chapter CW/notes: Mentions of alcohol, a very long conversation happens where Hotch is a little buzzed. Big, BIG focus on their age difference, and unintentional misinformation. Spencer has no idea Hotch thinks he’s older, or at least not OLD older, and gets a little panicky/clams up -- and yes I realize Hotch could just background check him and find it out but he respects the man enough to not do that. The chapter is linear, it just encompasses a lot of time passing so hopefully that’s not too confusing. Set in season 6, self beta’d.

Word Count: 5025

Masterpost Link

Ao3 Link

Chapter 03

Early September 2010

And so, it begins.

The dynamic shift, the vast change in how Hotch and Dr. Reid had been corresponding for the past few months. Evolving from something so professional and academic to something… looser. More freeing. More room for error, of course, but the risk turns out to be more than worth it for what they gain.

The texts are sporadic, at first. Short interactions, here and there, all stemming from that first, longer conversation about Jack. Hotch follows up the very next day, after he gets to talk to his son in the morning over pancakes. Jessica hovering nearby the whole time. She had apologized for her harsh words, and commended him after the fact how he’d approached Jack on the subject and led the little boy into a conversation rather than a lecture like his teachers had done. Because, as Spencer had mentioned -- there was no need for one. Jack already had the situation handled.

[]6/4, 12:39[] You were right.

[]6/4, 12:39[] He invited the kid that was bullying him over for a playdate. Trying to win him over by killing him with kindness.

[]6/4, 12:43[] My kind of kid.

[]6/4, 12:44[] You’ve taught him well, Hotch.

And that was it. That was all it took to kick off what turns into a frequent occurrence. Slowly, as time passes, their quick texts turn to conversations that naturally revert to work. It’s where they spend most of their time, after all, and what they had bonded over in the first place. But unlike in their emails, it isn’t just about the cases or profiles or statistics required to crack them. It’s much more opinionated than that, erratic in it’s content and frequency. Commentary on Hotch’s team, ideas on the cases they work, case studies and research projects and sometimes even just office gossip that somehow always makes its way to Hotch’s attention despite everyone trying to keep it from doing so.

Or just Dr. Reid observing their antics. This is the beginning of the tonal shift, and Hotch can’t help but think… it just might be a welcome one.

[]6/12, 10:03[] Your tech analyst always sends me rainbow font emails.

[]6/12, 10:07[] Yes, she’s doing that with everyone on the team. It’s Pride month and she’s being supportive.

[]6/12, 10:11[] She considers me a part of the team? How sweet of her.

[]6/12, 10:12[] You are, and as far as the bureau goes you might as well be.

[]6/12, 10:13[] I doubt I could sneak you into payroll, though.

[]6/12, 10:21[] I bet Ms. Garcia could.

[]6/12, 10:28[] Don’t. Say. Anything.

[]6/12, 10:29[] But yes, she could.

It turns into a small reprieve, for Hotch, in the constant deluge of bureaucracy and violence that fills his work day. The single moment he allows a sliver of himself to appear through the cracks of his armor he has to wear to guard himself from it all. To be the stoic leader the team needs, the unmovable tree in the storm.

Only in his quick, typed under the table conversations he has with Spencer does he allow himself the slips of humor. Barely there traces of a smile. Finding the smallest spots of light in his dark days, in his work that can surround and consume to the point of suffocation. Hotch thrives in it, he always has -- while others have drowned. But he doesn’t mind finding this small self-indulgence. Making the decision for himself that he can joke and poke fun at his work and not feel guilty about it. That, for once, he can allow himself this.

Until one day, Spencer returns the favor -- and starts talking about his own work.

[]7/21, 16:17[] If I leave all of my Ph.D. applicants in a ditch in the desert, is that still murder?

[]7/21, 16:30[] Technically or hypothetically?

[]7/21, 16:34[] Different question, would you be my legal council if I snap and it happens anyway?

[]7/21, 16:37[] Of course.

[]7/21, 16:38[] But as your attorney, I have to advise you that we never had this conversation, and murder is wrong.

[]7/21, 16:40[] Hypothetically.

Spencer takes a little longer to open up, but when he does it is through this window into an academic world Hotch had never planned or thought he would ever be privy to. He begins to reveal pieces of it, bit by bit, until Hotch starts to form a picture in his mind of what shape this professor’s life really takes. Making deductions based on his speech patterns, what goes on throughout his day, his word choices, and profiling the man through text message without even meaning to.

He tries to put a stop to it as soon as he realizes this. Dr. Reid isn’t just a consultant anymore, he is his friend -- and Hotch will always do his utmost to not profile his friends. But it’s a little too late for some aspects that can’t help but stand out as time goes on. Such as the inkling that the other man probably isn’t senile with a cane and a stooped back, like Hotch had first thought. Certain parts of his day allude to someone who is a bit fresher to the academic scene -- instead of spending decades on a college campus.

But Hotch sets that aside, to be scrutinized at a later date, and instead turns his focus into enjoying what Spencer has to offer him. As his friend. The stories he shares freely, now that they’ve spent all this time breaking down the barriers. He regales Hotch with his own daily problems, grievances, as well as the little bright spots that he just wants to share with Hotch so that it can lighten up his own days. Which were much more bleak, and crowded with danger and horrid things.

Hotch lives for those messages.

[]7/28, 20:42[] So I have a godson.

[]7/28, 20:44[] He’s four, and he just came to visit last week with his mother. Have you and Jack ever done science experiments at home?

[]7/28, 20:46[] Because I have some that are definite crowd pleasers. Do them right, you can call them ‘physics magic’. I can send you the instructions, it’s well worth it.

[]7/28, 20:47[] I’m not sure how helpful I would be in a scientific area, but I’m always willing to try.

[]7/28, 20:49[] I’d require video evidence of it, then.

[]7/28, 20:50[] But they are so fun, I’d forgotten how much.

[]7/28, 20:51[] No children of your own?

[]7/28, 20:54[] Never found the right person, but I always spent so much time on my degrees that I hadn’t really thought about being a parent.

[]7/28, 20:55[] My Godson really brought it to light, though. I love having him here.

[]7/28, 20:56[] I bet he loves when you come around, or when they get to visit you, too.

[]7/28, 20:59[] I work in a science lab, with lasers and telescopes bigger than my first apartment. My approval rating is pretty high when it comes to my godson.

Although Hotch finds that he doesn’t always start these interactions, the ones that lead to topics outside of work, he also isn’t against them in the slightest. They begin to start messaging at all hours, because of this; first thing in the morning, during their lunch break, whenever something pops up -- what used to be jokes that would just be kept to themselves, turn to conversation starters. And that development shifts the dynamic even more.

[]8/11, 10:31[] Coffee shops always make me feel old, and like I’m a grad student all over again.

[]8/11, 10:38[] You don’t have a T.A. to run and get you coffee?

[]8/11, 10:41[] Of course you would send out for coffee.

[]8/11, 10:42[] Well my order is two steps, not sixteen.

[]8/11, 10:43[] Tyrant.

[]8/11, 10:43[] Pretentious.

They start to tease, banter, and poke fun at each other. Comradery, friendship, and the more it goes on the more it seems to spiral towards something else. Something new.

But it’s these small moments, messages, conversations that can last a minute or an hour, that make Hotch’s chest feel so much lighter as the weeks go by. Hints of a smile easing onto his face, smoothing out and softening the edges in a way they haven’t in a long time. Garnering some attention from the rest of the team, or whoever is in the vicinity that felt brave enough to mention it.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Who’s the lucky lady?”

“No one,” Hotch would answer, schooling himself and pocketing his phone. “Just a consultant on a case.”

This is how it goes… for months.

They never speak on the phone. Never even hint at video calls. Never send pictures. (Although Spencer does make a mention once or twice about that promised video when Hotch finally gets around to attempting the ‘physics magic’ experiment he’d emailed him. Hotch secretly hopes that maybe, one day, Spencer will just get to show them in person. Instead of Hotch having to record it for anyone to witness.)

But they talk like clockwork. Play chess on the regular, allowing them to talk more fluently with a laptop to aid the flow of conversation. It starts with once a week, then twice a week, standing dates after hours that meld so seamlessly with their messages every workday. They keep it to the weekdays, at first, since Hotch is busy with Jack on the weekends. But that doesn’t last long. Suddenly, without warning -- it becomes every night as well. That shift is such an organic, natural progression, that it slips in without either of them making comment on it. A silent agreement, because mentioning it would mean admitting why they were pushing this in such a new direction.

They just… missed talking to each other. Two days was too long.

Now, it’s every day.

They text for hours; check in on each other at random throughout the day even when Hotch is on cases or Spencer is busy with his duties as the leading doctoral expert of Caltech. Times when they should be swamped, unavailable to anything other than their primary focus and work load, still littered with short messages. Before and after each flight, when Hotch gets back to his hotel at night, when Spencer has to lecture out of town and they just so happen to be passing each other during travel -- mere states away. So close, yet so far. It’s all the time, it’s constant, and it’s wonderful.

Spencer still helps with cases. Often, even more often than he ever helped the L.A. field office. But it’s not always through email, anymore. Sometimes it’s just easier for Hotch to shoot him a quick text. A detailed message in the middle of their everyday banter and dribble but no less out of place, knowing the good Doctor will answer him quickly. Time is of the essence when they are on a case, but they are always on retainer for each other. Waiting in the wings, ready to jump in with quick, snappy wit and bitten-back smiles, and Hotch feels so good. So light. Better than he has in years.

Happy.

Hotch is happy, finding a friend in Dr. Spencer Reid, even if sometimes that friendship seems to transcend layers he didn’t know were there. Developing into something else, something he hadn’t touched in a long, long time.

Months pass. Months. Like a blur. Like they’ve only just started this thing that’s anticipatory and comfortable and flexible in its medium and that is so easy -- everything Hotch needs in his life -- that he can barely imagine what his days and nights were like before this. Before Spencer.

But it’s months into this correspondence, this charged and bright thing, that he’s home late one night with a Scotch in one hand and a losing game of online chess long forgotten on his laptop screen. Lost in messaging Spencer, back to his phone instead of the chat feature of the chess game. Because texting is their comfort zone, now. He never thought it would be, had seen teenagers and adults attached to their phones like a lifeline and used to scoff about it, but he finally has begun to understand.

Because here he is -- not even looking up when he takes a drink -- lost in his conversation with Spencer. Making each other laugh, in a way he hasn’t in so long. Loud and high and afraid he might wake Jack down the hall so he stifles it with another sip of his Scotch.

[]9/8, 21:12[] If Jack wakes up, you know that’s it for us. He’ll never go back to sleep.

[]9/8, 21:13[] Then stop laughing so loud. I honestly can’t imagine you laughing enough to wake him.

[]9/8, 21:14[] Usually I don’t. I never laugh like this, but I used to.

[]9/8, 21:16[] Mr. FBI isn’t allowed to laugh, I thought. Didn’t they beat that out of you at the academy?

[]9/8, 21:19[] I was able to retain a smidgen of humor, it’s well hidden. You just seem to bring it out more than others.

[]9/8, 21:20[] I’m flattered.

[]9/8, 21:20[] You should be.

[]9/8, 21:21[] If my team saw me crack a smile I’d probably be forced to get a CAT scan.

[]9/8, 21:23[] Do you need one? I have an M.A. in Cognitive Sciences, I’ll be your second opinion.

[]9/8, 21:24[] Probably, but I’ll live.

[]9/8, 21:25[] Very stiff upper lip of you. They teach you that at the academy, too?

[]9/8, 21:26[] No, that would be Scotland Yard. I liaised there for a while.

[]9/8, 21:28[] Wow, you get around. Have you been anywhere else on your global exploration?

[]9/8, 21:31[] Hardly that, I just go where the bureau tells me. I’ve already been bounced all over the country before landing at the BAU. All you can do is keep the ‘stiff upper lip’ and adapt.

[]9/8, 21:31[] “Keep Calm & Carry On”?

[]9/8, 21:33[] Garcia gave me that on a mug last Christmas. I still don’t know what it’s from.

[]9/8, 21:34[] Your age is showing. Get with the times, old man.

[]9/8, 21:35[] You’re one to talk.

[]9/8, 21:35[] What?

Hotch bites back a smile, thinking about how for months he had been so sure Spencer was this elderly professor in his 60’s or 70’s that just happened to find their conversations interesting. That was… very apparently wrong, Hotch can see that now, but he hadn’t had any evidence to the contrary for the entire time they corresponded those first few months.

He could have done a background check on the professor at any time, is sure Garcia already has one saved in a file ready to send him at his first request, but it’s more fun this way. The not knowing, the learning about each other piece by careful piece. Even the smallest bits of information, such as age.

He bet Spencer would get a kick out of his first impression of the man, though.

[]9/8, 21:37[] Oh come on, you know.

[]9/8, 21:39[] No, I actually don’t. Congratulations, you’ve stumped the super genius.

[]9/8, 21:39[] But really, what do you mean?

[]9/8, 21:42[] I always just assumed you are at least ten years my senior, maybe even fifteen. How are you more with the times than I am?

[]9/8, 21:43[] I work at a University. I am surrounded by hormones and the dribble of youth.

There’s a slightly lengthy pause after that exchange, enough Hotch starts to pay closer attention through the buzz of liquor settled over his skin pleasantly.

[]9/8, 21:49[] How old do you think I am?

[]9/8, 21:50[] I don’t know, is it rude if I answer?

Hotch is not laughing to himself, he promises.

[]9/8, 21:52[] Why do you think I’m older?

[]9/8, 21:53[] This feels like a trap.

[]9/8, 21:53[] It’s not.

[]9/8, 21:56[] Well, honestly just from your academic achievements. Not everyone has that kind of time. And all your departments you run, you have to have a pretty level head and knack for maturity to keep that all in order. Especially doctorate students.

[]9/8, 21:58[] Thank you, I think.

[]9/8, 22:00[] I bet you’re the coolest old man on campus, though, don’t get me wrong.

Hotch does outright laugh after he sends that, manages to keep it a little bit quieter, and commends himself on having the upperhand in the conversation for once as he stares at his phone for a few minutes, awaiting an answer.

If he had to guess, Hotch supposes he’s held on to that stubborn image of Spencer being a stooped old professor out of habit. But the more the two have talked, after he'd gotten to know the man and his written verbal expressions and just the way his life runs day to day, it’s pretty easy to see that that is not correct. Spencer could be someone around Dave or Jason’s age, but more likely even younger than that -- closer to his own.

And that… is an intriguing thought that sparks something in his chest. He smothers it with another sip of Scotch and realizes that it has been a solid five minutes of silence. With Spencer not even typing out a response.

[]9/8, 22:06[] Was it something I said?

[]9/8, 22:07[] No, I’m just… contemplating my answer.

[]9/8, 22:07[] Answer to what?

Hotch hasn’t drank that much, but he doesn’t believe he asked a question at all. He scrolls back through their conversation and doesn’t see one. Spencer has asked a good handful, though, all about Hotch’s perception of his age.

Interesting.

[]9/8, 22:09[] Respond, not answer.

[]9/8, 22:10[] I’m all turned around now.

[]9/8, 22:12[] Flustered in your old age? Now I’m flattered.

This is almost like flirting. Skirts the edges of it, and Hotch feels more emboldened to try the more Spencer tap-dances around what is obviously Hotch’s incorrect assumption of his age. He had had no idea Hotch thought he was older, that is apparent, and it’s throwing the other man for a loop for some reason Hotch can’t ascertain.

[]9/8, 22:15[] I’m not old.

[]9/8, 22:15[] I’m not even older than you.

[]9/8, 22:16[] And how do you know that?

[]9/8, 22:17[] Just trust me on this.

[]9/8, 22:17[] Well, how old are you?

Another long, lengthy pause that Hotch waits for with baited breath. He knows that Spencer is there, that he’s staring at his phone and trying to decide the best way to answer without really answering anything. It’s only a matter of minutes, but that is a long time for them. When they are deep in a conversation like this.

Hotch isn’t laughing to himself anymore, but he’s more pleasantly confused than worried. He really has no idea what is making Spencer so hesitant.

[]9/8, 22:22[] Spencer?

[]9/8, 22:25[] I’m not going to tell you.

[]9/8, 22:26[] What, you want me to guess?

[]9/8, 22:28[] You’ll never guess.

[]9/8, 22:29[] That sounds like a challenge. How many guesses do I have?

[]9/8, 22:31[] None. Listen, I don’t want you to know. I shouldn’t have said anything.

[]9/8, 22:33[] I’m afraid it’s going to change your perception of me, and we’ll stop talking like this.

[]9/8, 22:34[] Just keep imagining me with wrinkles and a cane, I’m okay with that.

That drops the small smile right off his face.

Hotch is… surprised by this turn of events. What could be so shocking about this that Spencer thinks they would stop talking to each other? They’re corresponding every night. How could he possibly stop on a dime like that?

It doesn’t make any sense. And that’s not the alcohol talking.

[]9/8, 22:37[] I honestly don’t see how that would be possible.

[]9/8, 22:39[] I’m not going to stop talking to you just because you aren’t the senior professor I imagined running Caltech with an Iron Fist.

[]9/8, 22:40[] Now you’re projecting.

[]9/8, 22:40[] You saying I’m too strict?

[]9/8, 22:41[] Tyrant, I think was the term I chose.

[]9/8, 22:42[] Pretentious.

[]9/8, 22:44[] But Spencer, unless you are somehow underage with five Ph.D.’s, there’s no reason for us to stop talking.

[]9/8, 22:47[] You would not believe how many people treat me like I'm underage, to this day. So that doesn’t inspire confidence.

Hotch pauses with his glass halfway back to his lips, only a few sips left in the glass. Staring at his phone and struggling to make sense of what Spencer is saying. Hotch had been trying to joke and tease with him, but now the word ‘underage’ feels like a glaring beacon of a word on his screen.

He’s very suddenly more than a little nervous, even through the haze of alcohol. He is 45 years old, no matter what he keeps telling Spencer -- there is a limit to this being appropriate or not. What that limit is, he’d have to consider when he’s more sober, and it makes him feel like he should be reigning in the flirtatious notes that keep worming their way into the conversation.

But it’s not actually possible for him to be that young, and everything he’s learned about the man indicates he’s closer to his own age. Was he in his 30’s? Even that felt too young for what Hotch had (subconsciously) profiled -- no, it has to be something else.

No matter what, he didn’t want to keep getting Spencer worked up like this about it. His age hadn’t bothered Hotch before that night, so maybe if he drops it they can revert back to how they’d been spending their late evening hours before this turn in the conversation.

[]9/8, 22:50[] But I’m NOT underage.

[]9/8, 22:51[] If that needed to be said.

[]9/8, 22:53[] Can you buy alcohol by yourself?

[]9/8, 22:54[] Yes.

[]9/8, 22:54[] See this is what I was afraid of.

[]9/8, 22:55[] Relax, I was trying to tease you.

[]9/8, 22:57[] You don’t have to tell me, Spencer. I’ll just keep picturing Sean Connery, or John Steinbeck in the later years.

[]9/8, 22:59[] I see you have a type.

[]9/8, 23:00[] Well, who do you picture when you think of me?

[]9/8, 23:01[] Hugo Weaving, Matrix era. Or Richard Feynman.

[]9/8, 23:02[] Well now I feel typecasted. Who’s Feynman?

[]9/8, 23:02[] An American Theoretical Physicist from the 40’s-60’s.

[]9/8, 23:03[] Ouch. How old do you think *I* am?

[]9/8, 23:04[] I’m afraid to answer that.

[]9/8, 23:04[] O.u.c.h.

[]9/8, 23:06[] You’ve been borderline flirting with me, and you just said you thought I was in my 60’s! What was I supposed to think?

[]9/8, 23:07[] If you’re looking in that age bracket, I’m sure I can get you the Biology Department Head’s number.

[]9/8, 23:07[] He’s 72 with rheumatoid arthritis.

[]9/8, 23:08[] You are hysterical. So funny.

Hotch is smiling wide down at his phone again, feeling lighter and glad he got them back on track.

But…

He can’t help but think back to what he just tried to drop entirely. Blame the Scotch, or whatever drive to know that makes him dig down and root out information in cold cases in his spare time, Hotch doesn’t think he can let it go. Not when it was something Spencer hadn’t meant to be a secret in the first place. Not when, knowing that it has created misinformation between them unintentionally, results in Spencer shying away and hesitant to tell Hotch anything more about himself.

Not when he’d said ‘flirting’, because that had been what Hotch was doing, and he can’t even describe how disappointing it would be to quit while he was ahead. When the build up has been so gradual and easy and everything he’d been looking for and could never seem to find.

Now, this slight disruption is sticking in his mind, sharp like a thorn in his side. Always there, making itself known, and he wonders if he is lucid enough to try and draw the information out of Spencer via interview tactics -- or if the brilliant man would see right through any of his attempts.

Probably. Who was he kidding? Spencer had more degrees and college hours under his belt than Hotch could manage in a lifetime. Best to do this the old fashioned way, then.

[]9/8, 23:10[] 38.

[]9/8, 23:11[] Oh. Really? That’s kind of young to be Unit Chief, congratulations.

[]9/8, 23:11[] No, not me. You. I’m guessing 38.

[]9/8, 23:12[] Oh.

[]9/8, 23:12[] Incorrect.

[]9/8, 23:13[] I don’t even get a hint?

[]9/8, 23:13[] Nope.

[]9/8, 23:15[] We’re not playing a game. I’m not telling you.

[]9/8, 23:15[] So you won’t guess my age, either?

[]9/18, 23:17[] Chicken.

[]9/8, 23:17[] 45.

Hotch near throws his phone across the room. Almost makes a quip about how reading his file is cheating -- but he knows Spencer just made a stupidly accurate ‘educated guess’ because he knows fucking everything.

They really should just put him on the payroll. Hotch is being selfish keeping the man all to himself.

But God, is he enjoying it, too.

[]9/8, 23:19[] There’s no way you profiled that with that kind of accuracy.

[]9/8, 23:20[] How do you do that?

[]9/8, 23:21[] Black magic.

[]9/8, 23:22[] I’ll get it out of you one day, I swear.

[]9/8, 23:23[] And as a man of your word, I believe that you truly believe that.

[]9/8, 23:23[] Full of jokes tonight, aren’t you?

[]9/8, 23:25[] I live to amuse.

[]9/8, 23:25[] And make you smile.

[]9/8, 23:27[] You are one of the few that do.

With a careful pause, nothing left in his glass, a thought perched on the edges of his mind that is already watery with cognitive dissonance, Hotch starts typing before he’s even fully made the decision.

[]9/8, 23:30[] You really think my flirting is borderline? I was going for subtlety, but I must be rusty.

[]9/8, 23:32[] Actually, I just thought I was projecting.

[]9/8, 23:23[] You were married, I didn’t want to presume.

Oh.

The consideration is touching, and sobering even in the dimness of his home office, but it draws the softest of smiles back to Hotch’s face when he begins to type out his answer.

[]9/8, 23:35[] Thank you, for thinking of me first.

[]9/8, 23:37[] But Haley and I separated a long time before she died. We were actually divorced before she went into WICSEC. I miss her every day. But I did try to date for a while, before that.

[]9/8, 23:39[] No luck? I would have thought the FBI badge would at least garner some interest.

[]9/8, 23:40[] I’ve been told I’m intimidating.

[]9/8, 23:41[] I don’t think you are.

[]9/8, 23:42[] You will if you ever meet me. I’ve made underlings cry before without speaking a word.

[]9/8, 23:44[] The Hotchner stare. Have you coined that?

[]9/8, 23:45[] I should. It’s got a ring to it.

They banter and causally slip a few more… flirtatious comments in, and Hotch realizes it really isn’t that much different than before. That he had indeed been flirting with the man long before he knew his age. Which was odd, he didn’t typically go for older men and women. But now that he’s aware Spencer is younger than he thought, possibly even his own age (he swears he is, would put money on it if he could), somehow there’s more of a charge in their correspondence, a warmth and buzzing elation that has nothing to do with his Scotch. Especially now that it’s long gone.

It’s all Spencer, and how they compliment each other, and Hotch finds himself near giddy with that information.

He tries, towards the end of the night where it tips over into the early hours of the morning, to imagine an image of Spencer again -- and finds that he doesn’t even care to. He’s enamored with the man and his wit and the way he makes Hotch laugh without trying. How he looks, his age, it doesn’t matter. Not really. Not to Hotch.

But he is still curious why Spencer won’t reveal it. He can’t be that young.

[]9/9, 00:43[] You really won’t tell me?

[]9/9, 00:45[] Maybe one day. When I’m feeling brave.

[]9/9, 00:46[] Well, I’ll be there. Waiting.

[]9/9, 00:46[] 32.

[]9/9, 00:47[] You’ll never guess.

[]9/9, 00:48[] There’s only so many numbers.

[]9/9, 00:50[] Goodnight, Hotch.

[9/9, 00:51] Goodnight, Spencer.

(tbc...)

Tagged List: @spencehotchner @ssa-sarahsunshine @gothamapologist @reidology @marsjareau @dragon-snaps-fandom @emmyraebird @just-an-emo-rat @aaron-hotchner187 @dk18077 @more-heid-pls @fakin-it-til-i-make-it @merpancake

#I've read and rewritten this chapter so many times I'm starting to hate it #but it's super important so I hope it lives up to expectations #we get to all the good stuff after this #but the development here is something I've spent WEEKS trying to make realistic so #I hope you all enjoy it <3 #Chapter updates are Saturdays at 5pm EST #if you want in on the tag list just message me <3 #HotchReid #Heid #katyswriting

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shra-vasti · 4 years ago

Text

Flower

Pairing : Yoon Jeonghan x reader

Type : ex-lovers to soulmate au, idol au

Genre : primarily angst, fluff

Warnings : cursing here and there and a makeout scene at the start

Soulmate au type : In which your soulmate's initial are craved into your wrist when you turn 20 and when you touch each other their initial turns into their full name.

Synopsis : You and Jeonghan dated before getting your soulmark but it ended in a rather most heartbreaking way for you but fate bought you two together and now it's upon Jeonghan to fix what he messed up.

Note : Italics = flashback/past

Word count : 6k

"Yah, Yoon Jeonghan take me home."

He look up from where he was seated with his drink in his hands as he took in your form. You were barely walking straight, your body far from being balanced.

"What did you say?"

Shock was clearly evident in his voice that you even thought of walking in his direction yet alone ask him to take you home. He heard Mingyu and Jun snicker beside him laughing at his confused and shocked state. Their Hyung was never this perplexed in front of anyone.

"You heard me." you let out a whine already regretting your decision to even ask him to drop you home.

"My friends are way too drunk and Joshua told me that you are aren't drinking tonight plus your apartment is near mine."

He put his drink on the counter as he made his way towards you.

"You're going to regret this once you sober up." he muttered more to himself as he took a hold of your hand and guided you out of the party with all of his and your friends cheering up and leaving teasing remarks.

He took you to your apartment as you fumbled with your purse to take out the card to swap across the monitor but it seemed like you weren't even in the condition to do that so Jeonghan took it upon himself to tuck you in bed and then leave.

"Yoon Jeonghan." you called out when he settled you on your couch, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he helped you take out your heels.

He look up at you when he heard you calling his name to see your face really close to his.

"Why are you frowning?" you asked as you gently swiped your thumb across his eyebrows to make him relax, a habit of yours whenever you found him frowning over something.

"I should go."

He was sure that you were mad drunk and if he will stay in your apartment unit longer, one of you will regret it in the end.

You held his hands as you saw him get up from where he was standing and stood up before him, your gaze still hazy.

Your hands craddled his face as you cup his jaw slowly closing the distance between the two of you. His hands found their way around your body and rested on your hips but as soon as he felt your breath on his face and the scent of wine hit his nose he came back to reality, no he can't take advantage of you when you were drunk.

You once again let out a whine, stomping your feet on the floor clearly frustrated.

"I don't want you to do anything with me, which I know you will regret, when you are drunk. I'm not drunk so I won't let that happen."

His voice was stern but it felt like instead of scolding you he was actually trying to warn himself about it.

"Lets have a drink then, why are you the only one not getting drunk." you said as you blackmailed him to stay put and went inside the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine.

A loud noise was heard as soon as you went inside the kitchen and Jeonghan didn't think twice before running towards you to see that you accidentally made the steel utensils fell onto the floor.

He sighed as he picked them up and moved towards where you were in front of your refrigerator. He crossed his arms across his chest eyeing you and silently asking you on how on earth you have so many bottles of wine in your house.

You just smiled at him not really caring about his stern gaze as you pulled his collar by one hand, a bottle on wine on another as you finally pulled him in for a kiss.

His body stiffened at the sudden proximity, he felt your one hand running through his hair and tucking on it making him groan. He pulled your body harshly against his as he devoured you unable to control himself as his hands roamed everywhere on your body, touching each surface of your exposed skin as much as possible.

He pulled away to catch his breath, his eyes darkening at the sight of your swollen lips, then his eyes landed on the bottle of wine loosely hanging on your hand and he snatched it from you, opening the bottle and chugging as much as drink possible in one go.

Your eyes widened as you look at him drinking the wine vigorously. You once again moved towards him taking the bottle from his hands and putting it somewhere on the kitchen counter.

You hop onto the counter and once again tugged him towards you kissing and sucking on his neck and drinking the remains of wine which spilled from his mouth onto his neck and chest. He let out a groan as his hands found your hair and he grabbed them harshly pulling you off him before once again claiming your lips.

You crossed your legs around his body and you felt his hands move down from your head towards you waist to hold you in place as he got away from the counter carrying you, lips still attached with each other sighing and moaning in each other's mouth as he lead you towards your room.

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You hadn't even check your phone and put it in silent mode just to avoid your group members potentially messaging or calling you to reach you and inform you about something you were purposly trying to ignore.

It was late at night, clearly an hour before the night ends and another day starts as you walked in the direction of your dorm room which was few blocks away from your company's building, where you had been practicing for a stage whole day which wasn't even that important and you had already mastered all of the steps and lyrics.

With that thought in your mind, you took out your phone and you watch as the screen lit up as your pressed your finger on the senser, the first thing to catch your attention among the numerous texts and calls of your members and few of Seventeen's was the date&time displayed.

10:50 PM, 4 October.

You made your way inside your dorm building's lobby still focused on your phone as you deligently cleared your notifications not paying much attention to the surroundings since your dorm's building was never that crowded at such times., at least that's what Jeonghan thought as he watched you made your way towards him or more specifically where the stairs of your dorm room lies, unknown of his presence.

He looked at his wrist where your initials were craved, they were just initials and there maybe hundreds of people with same initials for all he knew but his doubts vanished when he asked your members about the soulmark on your wrist and they informed him about his initials being craved on them. Despite all of this, he followed his gut feelings, he just needed to touch you to confirm everything.

He had been sitting on the stairs for nearly an hour now, his eyes narrowed to get a better look and not miss anything as he focused on the building's gate, hand clasped together tightly, legs tapping the ground beneath, he anxiously waited there to at least see you once before his birthday ends, as if he knew that the only person who was going to cross it anytime soon was you.

It was a terrible idea, he knew but if you weren't going to show any signs of acknowledgement of his presence in your life once again he might as well be shameless for the sake of his feelings cause he was aware that he fucked everything up.

He straightened his back and got up taking a few steps down the stairs to meet you halfway when he noticed you putting your phone back inside your pocket, you were going to notice him now that you weren't focused on anything else.

"Yoon Jeonghan?"

Your voice was a low whisper but he felt his heart skipping a beat as his name rolled off your lips. He was never a fan of his name thinking his parents could have chosen some cooler sounding name but he loved the way you said his name and he suddenly was in love with his formerly not so cool name.

He watched as you sighed softly before siding him but not today he wasn't going to let you off today easily, he was confused if he was being this daring because he couldn't take it anymore or that it was all because today was his birthday and he knew that for you at some point of your life his birthday was one of the most important day.

He blocked your path, his body a little bit more closer than it has ever being in years.

"You didn't attend my birthday party."

"I had other important things to do."

"I just needed few hours of your day if not two, you know."

"I apologize, now if you would excuse me."

His breath hitched, this wasn't going to be easy but he had to do something. He had watched you from afar for a year already and his guilt and conscience was eating him up every time he looked at you or hear about you.

He just needed to talk, to let you know about his feelings, to tell you how he didn't mean any of the thing which had happened in the past in between you both which broke you apart, he needed to tell you how he deserved your hatred rather than the obvious nonchalant attitude you put before him.

He just needed to hear your voice directly talking to him, he needed you to look at him to show any signs that there's still hope cause God knows he wouldn't survive being without you.

"You are free now, I asked your members and they said you don't have any schedule till tomorrow evening so I guess you can spend the last hour of my birthday with me without sacrificing your sleep or anything else."

He knew that if he didn't knew any better, the glare which you sent in his direction would have made anyone else surrender in defeat in seconds, but he kept his cool facade on as he threw you a shit eating grin as if to prove you that you couldn't back off.

You rolled your eyes, hands crossed across your chest clearly feeling frustrated cause you knew that once he made up his mind for anything, he'll do anything to get it done and you spending his birthday's last hour with him was one of it.

You groaned, indirectly telling him that you aren't a big fan of the idea as you turned around towards the building gate once again. You frowned when you look behind after walking a good distance noticing that he was still glued on the same place with a confused expression. You huff in annoyance.

"Are you going to spend the rest one hour standing there or you wanna go outside? I don't mind intentionally wasting this one hour just so you know." with that you turned around once again as you started making your way out of the building.

Jeonghan blinked a few times clearly surprised at your sudden change in behavior. You never let him speak more than two sentence before ignoring him completely but here you were ready to spend an hour with him, just him.

He closed his eyes as he silently thanked his members as well as yours to help him mend his relationship with you at least till this point.

When he first faced you after years of not being in contact, you didn't even behave like you knew him, like he never made your day better, like he never really sing you to sleep, like he never was your high, like he never really existed in your life and he was shattered.

He made a big mistake but he loved you way too much to lose you like that, you didn't deserve it and he was ready to do anything to fix that. A smile plastered on his lips as he started running to catch up with you.

He brought you towards where his car was parked and started driving, no words were exchanged. He took a look at you leaning on the passenger seat lazily, your head on the closed tinted window. He reached towards the button and slightly pulled the window glass down enough for the outside air to enter in.

You frown feeling the glass move as you pushed yourself off to properly sit and shot a glare towards him before looking after what he did. You can't breathe properly due to suffocation when the cars windows are all closed so he pull down the windows enough to let some air in.

You looked at him as he casually continued his driving like doing such things for you was his second nature, well it used to be his second nature and all of the things he was doing was just in his instincts.

It was in his instincts to take care of you, to know what you like, to know what you don't, to know how you like your drink, which things pisses you off. To him you were an open book and never in your life anyone had ever read you the way he did. No one could ever.

"Namsan tower? I thought you would take me to one of those cheesy fancy restaurants or something." you mumbled as you took out your seat belt and head out of the car immediately sighing in relief as the suffocating air of car was now replaced by the fresh air.

Jeonghan got out of the car moments after you did as he observed you.

"This place is more important than those cheesy fancy restaurants for me."

He could sense the awkward aura that surrounded you as both of you made your way towards the tower. It held so many memories, so many moments which both of you still cherish from the bottom of your heart. Maybe taking you here would help him rekindle your relationship.

The familiar road which you had abandoned from years, now that you were walking on it again with the same person who was with you the last time you went there you could tell your emotions were running wild and it was going to be one hell of an hour.

Jeonghan stopped when he reached at the far end of the namsan tower locks as he turn around towards you.

You lift up your eyes from the ground to come directly in contact with his eyes, oh how he managed to still make your heat skip a beat with just one look. You broke the eye contact first as your focus slowly was stolen away by the place you were now standing.

There were hardly any people here, since everyone's major attention seeker was the locks of the tower where the lovers wish for their happy ending and lock it. It was only yours and his place, the end of the namsan's lock. You slowly made your way towards where he was standing few feet away from you and you internally prayed to heavens to make the time flow fast.

"It's still beautiful as it was when we used to come here." you looked at him to see him smiling nostalgically at the memory, the sight of him like that was enough for your breath to get caught, he was still breathtaking you concluded.

He turned towards you when he felt your eyes on him which made you look ahead at the beautiful scenery. Your hands felt cold due to the sudden chilly wind and also because of the rush of emotions inside you, you rubbed your sweaty palms on your jeans before putting them back on the railings.

Jeonghan looked at you like he knew that today will mayhaps be the day where either he'll make everything up or fuck everything up all over again and for the first time in years he was so nervous he could feel his heart on his throat.

The last time he felt like that was the time when he sent you a long breakup message on how he fell out of love and was seeing some fellow idol for a quite while behind your back and he couldn't do it anymore. He explained how he got distracted since he spent more time with them as compared to you. He apologized for causing you pain and meeting someone behind your back, he just didn't want to hurt you he said and you just replied with a plain, 'Take care.'

That was it, nothing else. He didn't hear anything from you after that until he saw you in pledis building, this time around as the member of their upcoming girl group.

You didn't yell at him like he expected you to, you didn't hurt him in return, you just completely erased yourself from his life like he never existed. You changed your apartment, he found his things were still there, you didn't take anything with you. Not a single thing. And then it hit him that maybe, maybe he lost something which was very dear to him.

Thinking about the past made him rethink about his boldness that he put up today. He had zero idea how you took the breakup. He was sure you were hurt, devastated, broken up but he didn't know if you hated him for what he did, resented him, still loved him, forget him, cried over him for days, were just angry at him and wished he died instead, cursed him or anything else.

Your feelings regarding the breakup remained an enigma to him till this date, he wasn't sure what was in your mind when you saw him, when you first heard him.

He suddenly felt self conscious about himself, he didn't even properly breakup with you, just a text and you didn't deserve such nonchalant behavior of his, at least he should have told you all of this in person.

But how could he, both of you were not in contact with each other for months since he had recently debuted with Seventeen and was busy with promotions and going out with some other idol to even care about if he contacted you or not cause you were too understanding and too good for him.

He took a deep breath, shivering as he pulled out one of his hands from his hoodie's pocket and gently taking your hand in his and intertwining it, if it was the regular Jeonghan today he was sure he would have run away from the mess he created rather than facing it, but today was different today he actually had something to gain or lose.

Your head snapped towards him in an instant, disbelief portrayed on your face as you look in between your intertwined hands and his face. He put your intertwined hands back inside his hoodie's pocket, ignoring the loud beating of his heart and the obviously frustrated glare you were throwing towards him. He closed his eyes as he tried to calm his nerves down, God this was just him holding your hand like he did countless of time yet he was so nervous.

"We always used to do this back then, your hands get cold easily so I used to hold your hand and put it inside the pocket to make you feel more warm."

He let out a breath he didn't even know he held slowly looking towards you as you were now looking straight ahead and not him. Your facial expressions stiff and a distant look in your eyes.

"What are your intentions Yoon Jeonghan?"

You voice was sharp, to the point and he knew it was meant for him to hurt and for the love of God it did. It broke him. You tried to pull away your hand but he held it tight not letting go. You opened your mouth to say something but he beat you to it.

"It's my birthday today, take it as my wish. I want to relive the time I spent with you just like we used to. Just for tonight, I want my girl back."

He looked at you, his eyes pleading you to consider it. You always fulfilled his wishes which he wished on his birthday be it anything, it was like your own little tradition and you promised him that you would fulfill his every birthday wish till your last breath, he just hoped that you still remembered it and that it still applied, it was his only desperate attempt left.

To beg you for your love.

"Please..."

He sounded so delicate, so fragile, so desperate, he knew he had long thrown his reputation and image in the trash can.

"You promised me you would complete all of my birthday wishes whatever they were if I said them to you before the clock hit 12 till your last breath. Are you going to turn your back on your own words?"

He saw you contemplating to say something and then deciding not to then you took a deep breath and stop struggling to pull away your hand from his grasp.

"Okay....just till midnight." he heard you say as you tightly clasped his hand in yours.

His members and yours had been nothing but a blessing in his and yours shattered relationship. They knew what Jeonghan did was wrong and that he deserved what he was going through but his love for you wasn't something which would go unnoticed by anyone.

So they helped him in every way possible to crack your cold heart into the previous warm one and they didn't hesitate to even blackmail you to consider giving him a second chance and that's the soul reason why you were here with him without creating any scene and argument.

He knew you hated being here and you would've left him there alone if it wasn't for your egoistic self taking a toll on your logical self and compile to whatever attacks your members were making towards you when you said you would never consider being with him again. It's like your members knew you like the back of their hands and knew what exactly they had to do for him to have a chance and he mentally made a note to thanks them personally for this.

You felt him leave your hand and move as you stood still on your spot. He moved behind you carefully snaking his one arm around your torso and other around your shoulder as he pulled you in him. The suddenness of moments leaving your mind blank as he buried his head at the crook of your neck. Your body became stiff as you clutch your fist to control yourself.

This was too much for you, you weren't prepared but he had to, scratch that he needed to be close to you. He was going insane, his body and mind getting euphoric just by your mere scent which he was inhaling. He kept on mumbling sorry again and again as if it would change something, anything, he was desperate.

You looked ahead, not uttering even a single word as he poured his heart out as he cried, his face still buried at the crook of your neck. You could feel his tears slipping down from your neck and sipping inside your clothes fabric or your chest. His grip on you tightened almost as if he was scared you would disappear anytime soon and you let him do what he wanted, till midnight.

"I'm sorry babe, I fucked up. I wish we could get back together like we used to and rebuilt our relationship. I love you so fucking much it's actually crazy how I didn't realize I need you this much when I was with you. Guess I took you for granted but please please please I'll do anything to gain you back please don't slip away from me."

And he cried all of the pain and guilt away which built up in him since the time he broke up. He didn't care if your roles in the relationship changed, he didn't care if you treat him nonchalantly, he just wanted you to love him and be with him.

His cries subsidized as the time passed and you could hear him sniffling and rubbing his nose on your clothed shoulder like he always did and you stayed there silently feeling the warmth he radiated.

He removed his hand which was on your torso and held your hand and brought it in front of you both so that your hands were visible to both of you. He pulled down the sleeves of your top revealing your wrist and he could feel his and yours heart beating loudly against his chest at the sight.

Yoon Jeonghan was craved beautifully on your wrist and when he pulled the sleeves of his own hoodie up you could feel your eyes well up by noticing your name craved on his wrist right beside where your hand was with both of your names side by side.

"I love you." he simply said as he hit his head lightly on your shoulder too tried to utter another word or explain anything else. He did everything he could do and all that was left now was those three words.

"I love you too." you replied as he turn you around to face him, the shock clearly evident on his face like he wasn't expecting this. He didn't even expect you to say its okay yet alone those three words back. But before he could say something, you did.

"I loved you too damn much and I know I'll keep on doing it. Cause all you ever taught me was how to love and I'm filled with you."

He wiped the tears which slipped from your eyes as he mumbled how sorry he was that you had to go through so much pain alone.

"I love you, Yoon Jeonghan...but you betrayed your love and your times up."

With that you pushed yourself away from him, the distant and cold look coming back on your face as you left him there, alone. You stopped a cab and got in never turning back and once he came back to his senses he realized what you did. You gave him a taste of his own medicine. You let him make a fool of himself in front of you and ditched him in the end, just like he did.

He turned around to look for you but all he could see was moving cars and empty surrounding he called for you thinking that you were playing some sort of prank but little did he know that he was wrong.

Jeonghan opened his eyes, his hands clutching on the sheets as he propped himself up. He rubbed his face grabbing his head due to the unbearable headache he felt. He dreamed about his birthday again, it was slowly becoming like a nightmare to him, a nightmare which he knew had already happened.

"You're up."

He ignored his thoughts when he felt like he heard your voice, confusion laced on his face as he slowly lift his head up to see your figure leaning on the doorframe of the bed. You pulled yourself off the leaning position as you threw him a small smile before going out of the room and coming back with a tray in your hands.

You sat in front of him, the blanket was splayed across his lower half as your legs came in contact with his, confirming that it was all real.

"Is your head hurting? The hangover must have hit hard considering you drank everything in one go. Drink this and you'll feel at ease."

You handed him the drink which you made and put aside the tray. His head lingered around the words you just muttered hangover? Drank everything in one go?

"Aren't you going to drink it?" you voice brought him back, his focus once again on you. You hand made contact with his forehead and then back and his arms as you tried to feel his body temperature.

"You didn't caught fever did you?" you asked concernly. He shook his head, he was fine but he wasn't sure about anything other than that.

His eyes landed on your shirt, the one which was somewhat too big for you, half of it was tucked neatly inside your shorts. He realized it was his shirt and after that everything started to fall into places as memories of last night started flooding inside his head.

"Where were you? I didn't see you here when I woke up." he said after he drank the drink you made.

"Hyungjae came to ask me about my schedule so that we could work together on writing the song for his upcoming song."

"You went outside the apartment to meet him, like this?" he questioned as he eyed you form. You were wearing his shirt, the purple marks from last night still visible on your neck even though your hair were kept loose and shorts.

"What's the problem in this? He was just outside the door I could've even gone in my pajamas and he wouldn't have care less."

You shrugged as if it didn't bother you at all about the fact that Hyungjae was also present at the party yesterday and surely knew what Jeonghan wore and then he came to meet you and you were wearing his shirt.

It was as if you had indirectly told Hyungjae that you belonged to him and that boy never shut up but Jeonghan didn't mind about it what he minded was if you were okay with that.

"Come on I'm in the kitchen freshen up and have some breakfast with me."

He watched as you got up and headed outside the door was this actually reality? Didn't you say that he betrayed you and that you have nothing to do with him? He thought whatever you did last night was something done under the influence of alcohol in your system but he guessed you just drank purposely to avoid backing off.

He quickly made his way towards your bathroom and did his morning routine. He looked at himself in the mirror, he was shirtless since you were wearing his and he had his pants on, some of the marks of last night still visible on his upper body reminding him that you are waiting for him at the kitchen so he made his way towards it.

He saw you seated on the kitchen counter eating up ice-cream when he saw you looking at him.

"I was going to make breakfast but then it dawned me how tired I'm from last night and I lost all of my will to do anything. Will you make breakfast?"

His could feel his ears turning red after hearing you say that, a laughed escaped your lips watching him get so flustered as you motioned him to come closer to you and he did. He came towards you and you put the container of ice cream aside, your hands cradling his face to kiss his forehead, nose and then his lips.

He looked at you for a second before wrapping his hands around your body lazily, you leaned in again and he let his body relax against you and let you take the lead. You wrapped your legs around his torso bringing him more close and he sighed into the kiss. The kiss was lazy and slow like you were just trying to remember the way he felt close to you.

You pull away breathing softly as your eyes were still closed, the feeling of his lips still lingering on your own, he put his forehead on yours sighing contently.

"Are you fine?" his voice was a bit hoarse due to kissing, you opened your eyes taking look at him. You smiled pecking his lips again before removing some of the strands of hair fallen on his face.

"You still look so ethereal when the afterglow hits you." you said making him even more flustered if he wasn't already.

"I always asked you to never say it to me, it makes me flustered." he whined as he hide his face at the crook of your neck in embarrassment. Although he was embarrassed he couldn't help but feel at ease listening you talking about the things you did together in the past.

"Why did you suddenly decided to change?" he coughed as he asked you trying to remove the hoarseness in his voice.

"If you don't remember, you said you wish for us to get back together and rebuilt our relationship and I promised you I would grant all of your birthday wishes."

You smiled recalling the memories you made with him, his birthday few months prior and his confession was something you couldn't take off your head for weeks and then you decided to talk it out with Joshua since he already found his soulmate.

After talking with Joshua, you started figuring out your own feelings towards Jeonghan cause all you had even done was push aside anything related to him to not get hurt but when you actually started thinking about it you realize that if Jeonghan was ready to risk it all for you, the least you could do was give me a chance to do so and although you knew it would take sometime to trust him and love him like you did at some point you were determined to test the bond which fate had given a chance to.

"Although it took me sometime to actually consider all of this, I wasn't sure, I never have been but I guess in the end when it comes to you, there's no going back and also there must be a reason the fate tied us together right?"

You felt him smile against your lips, the weight on his shoulder was lifted finally letting him have the peace. He hugged you tight, too afraid that this moment was nothing more than a dream and he didn't want to wake up.

Having you say those words, he felt he could finally sleep at night without feeling the burden and he realized that when you love someone your ego and reputation should be thrown out of your body cause in the end you were the only thing that mattered to him, his lover, his life, his soulmate who had touch him in million ways possible.

"I love you, han." you whispered as you heard him chuckle making you frown.

"I was so used to hear to call me Yoon Jeonghan that Han felt like a distant memory to me but now it had unlocked many different kinds of emotions I kept buried inside the deepest corners of my heart. I think being with you once again there are going to be so many nostalgic rides down the memory's lane and I'm ready to risk it all for you."

With that he rubbed his nose against you as he turn around towards the gas stove to start preparing for the breakfast. He felt you hug him from behind mumbling how you were hungry and that he should hurry up, he was actually looking forward for his days now.

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"The one who let me know and see myself, you are my only flower. If you bloom forever in my heart then it's okay for me to get hurt."

217 notes · View notes

wickedobsessed101 · 4 years ago

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Fanfic Writer Asks

[SOURCE: criminal-minds-fanfiction: Most of the writer ask posts I come across are only like ten or so questions long so I thought I’d try to make a longer one because we like talking about our writing! Feel free to reblog!]

I’m answering all of these b/c I love Q & A’s about my writing, both for my fics and other things.

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction? It was 2013, so I was 14 years old. I’m now almost 23.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one? I’m mostly in the Wicked Musical fandom, but I like to read for other fandoms, like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Chronicles of Narnia, ect.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer. OCs, but I’m more than willing to create an OC for someone based on characteristics they give me.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for? I love me some fluffy romance and hurt/comfort, but I also love some angsty drama.

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi-chaptered stories, which would it be and why? OMG, don’t make me choose! They’re all my babies! I love all my children equally! They all hold special places in my heart.

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why? Goodness, most of my stories prior to 2017, because I was in high school and had no idea what I was doing because I was just getting my feet wet with writing.

7) When is your preferred time to write? Anytime really. The latest I’ve stayed up writing a fic was 4AM. *Glares at ‘Threads of Truth’*

8) Where do you take your inspiration from? Where ever it happens to come up. I’m not picky. Movies, music, people I’ve seen on the street, random thoughts that enter my head, anything.

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote? In ‘Threads of Truth’, it’s a tie between Villy’s first date, and an argument that happens in an upcoming chapter. And that’s all I’m saying about that.

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind? In ‘Play The Game’, I liked the epilogue ending that I gave Elphaba with her family, even without Fiyero. I like writing her with kids. Another ending would be with the Fiyeraba still together, but I’m satisfied with the ending it has.

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it? I’ll go back and fix typos that are pointed out, but I don’t change plot stuff. Like, I wrote what I wrote and I will amend my technique in future stories.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why? Other than my OCs, because I get to fully create them and my lowkey babies, I’d have to say G(a)linda. She has so much potential and she’s so much fun.

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why? Boq. Not because I hate him (I don’t!), but because I don’t normally know what to do with him. If he’s not with Nessa, he’s literally just standing there like a brick wall. No offence, Boq!

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories. [Ask me about a specific story(ies)]

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names? I usually change consonants and vowels to already existing names, or add unnecessary letters because... reasons.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx? [Ask me about a specific story]

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on. “Hopefully, this will soak up any more leaks.” (Upcoming Wicked fanfic)

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them? Yes, 2. Both of them are a few years old and I’ve grown as a writer since then. Maybe one day, I’ll edit them and repost, but not anytime soon.

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to? Not everything can have a sequel, y’all! XD

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently? Yes! Around 60% of them.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire? @vinkunwildflowerqueen @raven-curls @mylittleelphie @weaselspeedfanfic Ultimate Queen of Cliffies

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it? This goes back to Question #6; most of what I posted prior to 2017.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence? Silence. I need to focus.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes? I can’t write it. They’ll make out, and then be pregnant in the next chapter. Y’all can do the math for yourselves.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story? YES! Yes, I have! Both sad tears and tears of joy. I’ve also cringed from second-hand embarrassment at the things the characters do and say. I’m not in control of their actions all the time. Sometimes they tell me what they’re gonna do, and I’m like, “Well, alright, then.”

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write? [Ask me about a specific story]

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow? I write bullet points of things I want to happen in a chapter on the Word Doc, or in the story as a whole, and I try to keep those bullet points in order. And the Notes App on my phone holds a lot of my ideas, and sometimes full scenes.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction? That I’d become obsessed with writing and continue doing it for almost ten years, as well as expanding to writing plays and musicals.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like? Yeah. I’m not gonna say which one, but just know there’s one... or a few.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at? Yes, and I’m still not gonna say which one(s). I want all the love!

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec, not the answerer) Yeah, sure!

32) Are any of your characters based on real people? Yes. Villy Doiir from ‘Threads of Truth’ is based on 4 people I know in real life, all mixed together into one wholesome, mother figure/ mentor. Perhaps that’s why I like writing her so much.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten? All reviews keep me going, no matter the length. But I love it when people review saying that they picked up on little references that were really just for me. It makes me feel like we’ve shared a moment.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten? A guest reviewer once said, “You tend to write Fiyero as an abusive person”. It wasn’t harsh, just... NOT TRUE. Especially for the story they were reviewing.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest? Close to my chest. I’ll share it with the world when I’m ready.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s? NOPE! You’ll just have to wait and see! LOL!

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written? I... really don’t know. My stories all have their funny moments.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it. I’m very busy, and collabs aren’t really my thing, but I’m always willing to lend an extra pair of eyes pre-posting.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person? I’ve written one story in the first person and it was fun to get into the character’s head, but I love third person, cause I like knowing what everyone is thinking. Second person makes me feel a certain way and that don’t really like.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction? IRL, no. It’s not something I bring up over dinner. I’ll talk about my plays and musicals, but not fanfiction. I like keeping my fics for the online peeps and my more personal writings for the RL peeps.

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written? My OC, Princess Hannalyn, from ‘A Royal Romance’. She was so much fun!

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx. I haven’t done a song fic.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it? Not fully, but they’ve had little inklings, but certain details were still a surprise. And I’m not mad about it.

44) What is the last line you wrote? “I don’t want this to be the last time we see each other.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process? When I’ll have one idea, and it spirals into many others, and when the characters write themselves. It makes it so much easier for me. Sometimes they tell me that they’re about to make a bad decision, and I just go along with it. They need to learn and grow somehow.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it? [Ask me for a specific story]

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about? [Ask me]

48) What’s your favourite trope to write? I love a good Royalty AU (not fully AU ‘cause of our princey-prince, but still) and Holiday AUs. And I’ve never written a Coffeeshop AU, but I LOVE reading them. I’ll read anything. I’m not picky, and I love to see what ideas others have.

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about? Yes, and both of them were Gelphies: 1 - “Easier Said Than Done” by mecelphie - It’s part of a long, wonderful series of Elphaba and Glinda together at Shiz and how their lives evolve together and has many lovable OCs. 2 - “The Thropp Diaries” by denpa wave chick saki - It’s first-person Elphaba POV of the book. It expands on lots of mentioned moments and we get to journey through Elphaba’s thoughts.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? I’d have to say fluff, so I can get my escape from reality. But it’s hard to write pure fluff without a little bit of conflict.

If you wanna read my stories, they’re all right here: Fae’sFlower

#wicked the musical #wicked #wicked fanfiction #fiyeraba fanfic #faesflower #Q & A #Fiyeraba #gelphie #Elphaba #Fiyero #Glinda #Galinda #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction.net #let me tell you about my writing and my stories #writer #Q & A with Nia

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marauder-exe · 5 years ago

Text

AU list!

hi! These are a bunch of Au’s that i could write,and you could request! (reposting because it didnt work the first time)

General

Fake dating (My personal favourite)

Soulmates

Coffee shop

Modern Royalty

Rockstar

Running From The Police

Rebel Against The Goverment

High School

University

Law school

Delayed-Flights-And-Were-Stuck-In-The-Airport-And-Its-Like-2Am

Roommates

Road Trip

Arranged Marriage

Im-Arranged-To-Marry-Your-Brother-But-Were-In-Love

Amnesia

Tattoo-Artist-And-Coffee-Shop-Worker

Loved-Since-Childhood

Professor-Student (of age)

Met-On-Holiday

More detailed

21.You were singing/playing guitar/etc. in the park to protest the war and a policeman tried to dismiss you for 'disturbing the peace' but you argued that you were promoting peace and things got heated and next thing you know you're being arrested for assaulting an officer. You intrigue me, so I'm here to bail you out and maybe take you on a date?

22.the nice one who everybody loves with the grumpy and strict one that the students hate and the students wonder?????????how what the fuck

23.we just had a one-night stand but a massive storm hit so now we’re snowed in, hello awkward

24. i sit at the rental booth at our local ice rink and watch you teach children how to skate

25. alternatively, i watch kids teach you how to skate because you’re a terrible skater

26. i’m running late to an important interview/meeting and you accidentally spill your hot cocoa all over my outfit

27. you’re my hot ski instructor and i’m failing the bunny hill

28. i slip on some ice and you’re the stranger who catches me

29. i gave my winter coat to a homeless person and come into your store to warm up

30. our friends rent a cabin to go skiing and we’re the only ones who stay inside

31. you’re the asshole of our group and we don’t get along, but then i find out you make soup for the local shelter

32.we’re waiting in line for the club when you complain that your roommate stole your gloves so let me warm your hands up with mine

33.my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and i’m so sorry

34.the power goes out in our apartment building, but i’m not prepared for this, and you come to check on me

35.i’m having a snowball fight with my friend in the park and i hit you instead

36.a storm is delaying our flight home and i’m afraid of thunder, please talk to me while we wait

37. we’re both in small claims court and i got into a huge fight with the person suing me but you stepped in to hold me back before security got there

38. i drove two hours to the closest video rental store that’s still operating and you were checking out the only copy of the movie i was after

39. i hit you with my car but luckily you’re okay, but we should still exchange information i guess

40. i was worried about buying something off of someone creepy from craigslist but oh no you’re hot

41. my friend talked me into playing a drunken game of spin the bottle even though we’re all adults and now we have to make out

42. we both decided to take a [yoga/fencing/cooking etc] class and we’re the only two assholes not taking it seriously and everyone else is giving us dirty looks but we keep grinning over at each other

43. my date just made a scene in public and got arrested and now i’m stranded in a city without a ride home

44. sharing a cab together

45. you’re trying to get me to sign a petition and i have no idea what you’re talking about

46. you’re drunk at this festival and dancing on the table and when you eventually fell i caught you

47. we both play this stupid game online and you keep beating me every single goddamn time so i called you out and you are pretty cute but can you not

48. im a bartender and you just came in here without shoes sat down and ordered a chocolate volcano and idk what the fuck that is and im scared to ask

49. we are neighbours and every night at 3:14 am you start yodeling for no fucking reason??? why???? is that you yodeling??? its been 2 months???

50.im a pizza delivery person and i just delivered a pizza to someone in the middle of a satanic ritual and they gave me their number???

51. i woke up this morning to find you sitting in my living room with a goat in a poncho??? who are you??? why is the goat wearing a poncho??? how did you get the goat in here i live on the 12th floor???

52. we work out at the same gym and you always look super legit but i know you sing hannah montana in the shower and you know i know

53. im a cashier and i saw you stuffing you pants full of potatoes and i would stop you but you already have 27 and i want to see how many you can fit

54. its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes

55. i was playing beer pong with a coin and i accidentally threw it right into your eye at a party

56. i’m at the beach and some kids thought it was funny to bury me in the sand when i dozed off can you please dig me out

57. it’s unbearably hot and we’re both fighting over the last handheld electrical fan at the shop at the amusement park

58. hey i just met you, and this is crazy, but i get sunburned really easily so can you please help me put sunscreen on my back?

59. thunderstorm after a menacing heatwave and we’re both getting weird looks for dancing in the rain

60.i have no idea who you are but you just fainted right in front of me holy shit dude you need to drink more in this heat

61. we both chased after the leaving ice cream van like ten-year-olds and now we’re both out of breath and a bit embarrassed

62.i clearly reserved this deck chair by putting a towel on it why on earth are you lying on it who the fuck do you think you are

63. My friends bet I wouldn’t buy these three weird and questionable items and you’re my cashier.

64.Once a week I go visit the pet store just to stare at the cute kittens and puppies and you’re the nice employee who always lets me hold them and wait I think I’m going to cry hold on.

65.You’re the DJ of the University’s radio station and every time you give an opinion on a current event I have to call and argue with you because could you seriously be anymore wrong?

66.We both wait tables at the same restaurant and you’re always mad at me by the end of the night because I make more in tips

67.We have the same class and once a week you wear this graphic shirt I don’t understand and I really want to ask you about it.

68.We both work at the same craft store that literally has no customers so we have nothing to do and I’m always reading at the register but you always have to criticize my book choice what the hell?

69.I’m working the concession stand for this week’s home game and this is the fifth time you’ve come back for snacks wait are you flirting with me?

70. we’re at a bookstore and you and I seem to have similar taste in books have you read this one? How about this one?

71. you look like you need help and I’m a professional roller/ice skater but I don’t want you to feel bad about how much you suck but wow you suck

72. You ordered your food before me and they gave you a drink you didn’t want so you gave it to me

73. We’re sitting at adjacent computers in the library and I’m taking extra care not to look at your screen out of respect but what the fuck do you keep laughing at

74. as a joke I yelled out “happy birthday to someone!” in this store and you called back “thank you!” who are you

75. You heard me talking about a TV show in class the other day and now you’re passionately yelling at me about how good it is we’ve never actually spoken before

76. It’s 10:30 at night and I left my glasses at home so I can’t read any of these labels and you’re one of the only people in the grocery store and GODDAMMIT DO YOU HAVE ANY TOMATO SAUCE WITHOUT CHUNKS

77. We go to the same support group; I have social anxiety and you’re a kleptomaniac who sorta stole my heart

78. You thought you were alone at the bus stop so early in the morning so you started passionately singing Fall Out Boy but your Patrick Stump impression could use some work and I’m not really afraid to point that out

79. I’m an artist and you have a really nice face so would you mind if I drew you?

80. We’re rival up-and-coming singers and every time one of us releases a new single the other does a cover to try to make it better; we’re always trying to top each other and out-cute each other, but half our fans aggressively ship us; our agents use this to their advantage and decide we should do a duet because it’ll be popular; unfortunately now that we’re in the same studio and I’ve seen what you’re like I really wanna know what your lips feel like

81.PLEASE I REALLY CANNOT FIND MY CAT AND I KNOW IT’S THREE A.M. BUT NEIL CATRICK HARRIS AND I WOULD BOTH APPRECIATE THE HELP

82. We were both stood up for dates at the same nice restaurant so we decide to eat together and split the check but I dunno you’re pretty interesting aside from your distractingly enormous eyebrows

83. We met at a mutual friend’s cheesy masquerade party and we agree that the only good thing about this party is the masks so you can’t judge a book by its cover only now that we’ve been talking I want to see your face but I don’t know how to ask

84. You used to date my friend who absolutely hates your guts after a messy breakup and now you’re flirting with me and I really shouldn’t be so interested in you but I am

85.We pass each other every day while we’re biking on the same path so we’ve started smiling at each other and one day you’re stopped because you’re having an asthma attack so I offer you my extra water bottle and now we’re talking and now I’M the one who’s breathless

86.I lost my little sibling in IKEA and I need your help finding them

87.I'm a private detective hired to follow you, but you're endearingly boring and mostly I just like watching you and oops, I sort of find you adorable.

88. You've been sketching me for half an hour now, and just shuffled up to hand me the finished product and it's TERRIBLE but you just wanted an excuse to talk to me.

89. I'm at an art exhibit and I just badmouthed the art, because I don't get it, okay? And it turns out you're the artist. I'm so sorry, maybe I could get you coffee and you could explain what it was supposed to be?

90. We're the only two people who turned up to an underground gig and it should be awkward, but the band is amazing and you asked me to dance and hey, there's nobody watching but us.

91. You live in the apartment next to me. We're not supposed to have pets, but I KNOW you have a cat. I'll make you a deal, I won't tell, if you let me pet it.

92. I punched you because I thought you were insulting my friend, but it turns out you know each other and it was an inside joke and I'm so sorry, let me drive you to the hospital?

93. We both wanted to rent a bike for an hour but the only one they have is a tandem bike

94. I’m on a terrible date and you’re my waitor please help me

95.Our dick landlord just evicted us both

96.I’m your neighbor and I can hear you fucking someone who shares my name

97. You’re sort of famous and we vaguely know each other through bumping into each other all the time but the media thinks we’re dating

98. Your roommate cheated on me and I just threw your laptop out the window thinking it was his

99. It’s 2am on the night of my 21st birthday and we gotta fix this fucking mess by morning or else we’re fucked

100.Fuck you and your bee farm I’ve had enough

Feel free to use any of these as your own! If you wanna request you could drop an inbox saying ‘ could you do ____ AU with this character’!

#remus lupin x reader #sirius black x reader #james potter x reader #lily evans x reader #cedric diggory x reader #regulus black x reader #fred weasley x reader #george weasley x reader #hermione granger x reader

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botwstoriesandsuch · 4 years ago

Note

Hi I was hoping to ask for your advice on writing. I’m trying to write from headcanons to little short fics (like one shots) from the readers pov but I’m finding it difficult to do so smoothly. Any idea how to do the transition without it coming out as a fanfic readers worst nightmare?

Well, I cannot guarantee the quality of my “advice” but I will give it a shot!

Apologies for you folks that hate my big essay length posts, but I do love infodumping about the writing process :P

So just click “J” to skip the post (if you’re on mobile...sorry just exercise your scrolling finger a bit more)

- - - - - - - - - -

So I’ll start with the distinctions between a headcanon and a fic. On one hand, you got simpler sentences, that summarize a broader idea or scene. You might have visualized the entire thing in your head, but at the end of the day all you do is write down a few sentences or pieces of dialogue that give the broader basis of an idea and/or scene. That’s not to say writing headcanons is easy, but it is, bluntly, the simpler method.

Writing, obviously, is more complicated. Not only are you trying to convey a more abstract idea to your reader, but you’re doing so with more layers and complexities, given that what you are trying to write is generally more detailed. You have to not only account for what your basic premise is, but the method in which you convey it. So, in a “good” fic, it typically doesn’t just focus on the basic “what is happening right now” in a scene, but can give subtleties and intricacies with its tone, themes, point of view, connotation, foils, imagery, symbolism, sentence structure, diction, context, figurative language, narrative, foreshadowing, setting, irony, character arcs, and the thousands and thousands of other layers that go into constructing story.

And I say “story” there deliberately, as I think the best way to summarize the differences is that a headcanon is a plot, while a one-shot is a story. Your one-shot has the ability to tell different messages, details, and themes, and give several points of interest to your reader, while your headcanon is limited to the structure of its initial premise.

[And before you English nerds bash me for my definition of story and plot, please know that I am using my film teacher’s old definition, which (to quote this quizlet I found) is “Story is all of the elements of a narrative that are involved, both shown and un-shown on screen. Plot is only all of the elements of a narrative that are shown on screen.” So yeah, it theoretically could be rewritten as a headcanon is a scene, and a one-shot is a story, but I’m just nitpicking at this point half of you don’t care and want me to move on anyway, apologies!]

So how do you transition between them? Well, in honesty I don’t exactly have a sure fire way for you, saying I do would be very hypocritical. However, what I can do is point out the “gap” between headcanons and fics, and perhaps from there you might be able to forge your own path..?

Chances are, if you’re already familiar with writing headcanons, you’ve already knocked out half of the work. See in a story, specifically in our case, fic, you have eight elements that construct it. You’ve got

Plot

Setting

Conflict

Character

Point of View

Tone

Style

and Theme

With a headcanon, (assuming it’s slightly more specific than “Headcanon that this character likes peaches!”) you’ve already got plot, setting, conflict, and character down.

Plot: being the actual premise of your story. What happens, why things happen, how other characters react, the beginning and ending, etc.

Setting: Being the location and time of your scene/plot. The setting might be a contingency to your story, such as a prison break that takes place in prison, or maybe it is the time that is essential for your High School AU fic

Conflict: Typically goes hand and hand with your plot, although not always (obviously, plot and conflict aren’t essential when talking about fics, *winks at the nsfw side of tumblr*) But if your headcanon does have a basic plot, then it probably has some sort of conflict whether external (The Calamity kills everybody) or internal (you’re character is going through grief)

Character: This whole aspect is practically already done for you. Whether by canon from the video game or media you got it from, or perhaps by fanon, with the collective fandom agreeing on certain traits about your character(s) in question. Obviously, if you got an OC, that’s another thing, as you have to create their traits, and construct a believable way that that character reacts and makes choices throughout your plot, depending on how you characterized them

So congrats! In writing up your everyday headcanon, you’re now halfway there to making a full on fic! Obviously, 50% is still a lot, which is probably the reason you were seeking advice in the first place, so now we should move on to the other half, and arguably it is this other half of elements that give the entire distinction between a headcanon and a one-shot. So in theory, if you get these elements down, you’re on your way to writing that much faster!

Quick additional note: Another way to think of your headcanon is as an outline. While not in every case, a good way to jump from your headcanon to a fic is to stick with the major elements of your headcanon, and weaving your writing style in between. Think of the headcanon as your skeleton, and the story being the meat and muscle. Idk if that makes sense, blame my old English teacher for the metaphor

Alrighty, so for demonstration purposes I’m gonna use the very first headcanon I’ve ever written as a basis. Bear with me for a moment:

“Zelink Headcanon: Zelda Just Wants Some Snacks

Everyone always jokes and adores about how Link eats so much and cooks great food in the game (he’s gotta carbo load guys, he walks like 9 miles everyday!)

However I propose, equally hungry and feral Zelda

After Link and Zelda defeat Ganon, one of the first things they do is stop by the nearest cooking pot and eat

She hasn’t eaten for 100 years!! She’s gotta be starving!

Link just cooks up some meat skewers

“…wait I forgot the Goron spice, gimme a sec…”

But Zelda just immediately snatched it off the fire and eats the whole thing in two seconds

Link keeps trying to go out of his way to make really nice food but Zelda is just like “I DON’T CARE RIGHT NOW PLEASE LINK”

So yeah, their first date is basically just Link cooking Zelda a buffet until his inventory empties out”

Again, this headcanon has already given us half of the answers.

We got our plot: Link, a talented chef, is cooking food which Zelda scarfs down without fear and hesitation

Setting: They are by a cooking pot, perhaps in the wilderness, away from the prying eyes of nosey villagers. This takes place sometime after the initial defeat of Calamity Ganon.

Conflict: Link keeps trying to cook “good” food, but despite the Princess’ royal upbringing, she has no care for the whole “show” of cooking with spices and garnish. She is starving, willing to eat anything

And Characters: Link and Zelda. You know... (Today unfortunately is not the day in which I construct a thorough character analysis of the two...perhaps one day...)

So, now that we have this, we start adding the meat and muscle of our story with point of view, tone, style, and theme. These elements, could be summarized as your writing style. Yes, writing style is more intricate than those four elements alone, but they do fit in with its broad definition.

So, in essence, a way to transition between headcanon and fic is to find out what kind of writing style you’re comfortable with.

How do you do that? Well... shocker, I know, you gotta write.

Write first, plan the elements of your one-shot later!!

Allow yourself to write complete utter garbage. I know you said that you don’t wanna create a “fanfic reader’s worst nightmare,” but if you become more concerned with the quality of your content before you even start writing, you will never ever ever get anywhere. You’re gonna be stuck in writer’s block for eternity, so just let the garbage and nightmares out and write. You’ll never improve if you don’t have something to improve from, you feel me?

So, now that your mind is open and ready to write anything, whether garbage or gold, let us dive in to the parts of your writing style.

Point of view: Do you prefer writing in third person? First? Second? Each have their pros and cons. Second person is good for your “x reader” inserts. First person is good for your narrator’s characterization. Third person is good for describing elements of your surroundings that might not be inherently obvious to your characters or audience. There are hundreds of other pros and cons to the different POVs that you can search up online, but it’ is ultimately up to you to decide which method you like best.

When you find the method you like best, make sure you use it to it’s full potential! Use foreshadowing with your third person POVs. Use connotation, and diction to further characterize your narrator in first person. Elevate the mood and senses of a scene when in second person.

Tone: Now, this element is often confused with another literary device, mood. The difference being that you as the author have more control over the tone, than the mood. The tone, is the attitude that you as the author (or as a character/narrator, depending on your POV) have towards something. For example, your tone might be suspenseful if you withhold information from your reader, or if you have a certain choice of diction. It is typically better to look to the type of genre you’re writing for to identify what kind of tone you want.

Mood is the feeling that the reader experiences from your writing. It’s really much more simple, a beloved character dying give a depressed mood. A cute couple hanging out will give the reader a happier mood. This is your angst and fluff feelings, if you will. (Although, please remember than mood and tone are not a binary thing, it is a spectrum, as broad and diverse as the capabilities of human emotion)

Style: Ok yes this is a bit meta, me explaining how to use style to help you construct a writing style. Blame the bendable definitions of the writing world. So just think of this as the face of your writing. The more obvious and apparent part that is unique to you and your personality.

Think cake. Your story is a delicious cake, it is a chocolate, Zelink cake. Now, your style is the way that you present this cake. Pink frosting? Yellow? A full cake or just a slice? Chocolate ice cream cake? Chocolate lava cake? Five tier cake? Cake pops? These possibilities are the infinite ways your style will present the story.

Style, sometimes called voice, is the combination of your use of tone, mood, POV, syntax, diction, and other literary device that you commonly use in your writing. This isn’t something you learn, it’s just something you do naturally when you write. It’s what readers will like about your fics, because they like the way that you use this or that, or the way you describe this thing or that person. It’s something that can change and improve over time, but in essence, it’s what readers can read and identify as you, without even looking at the username.

Style isn’t something you have to remember, per say, like other literary devices, but it is something to be aware of as you should try to keep it consistent through your whole story. Sometimes have people have different writing styles depending on their own mood, or what they’re writing about. That is fine, so long as you keep it consistent through your whole work. A good trick for this is to listen to music that fits with the style of your writing. Use that one catchy love song whenever you’re writing cute headcanons or fluffy one shots. Use that anime opening theme for your adventurous fics and fight scenes. This way, you are keep in a consist atmosphere and your brain will be in the “Oh! It’s time to write ____ stuff!” mood.

So just be aware of when you’re in a descriptive style, a narrative style, argumentative, or whatever style you like using. You style might even derived of the way you already create headcanons!

Theme: This is a big one. Have a cohesive theme can easily bring any story from good to great! I like to think of it as you’re story’s destiny, or reason for existence.

Theme is an outlier for the other elements in that not only is it not necessary for your fic, it is also not necessary for your writing style either. It’s really not necessary... at all. Yet, people always use theme in their writing, even accidentally.

Theme is your story’s underlying message, or lesson. Yes, yes, if you paid attention in your basic English class you probably already knew that, but this is a big pet peeve of mine.

The theme of your story isn’t “true love,” the theme isn’t “innocence”, or “failure”, or “trauma”, or whatever. Theme isn’t a broad idea, it’s a specific question and an answer.

For example: The theme of Breath of the Wild isn’t “exploration” or “time”. The theme is there is always something to seek and find, so long as you have the curiosity and courage to find it. The theme is despite the eternities of time, we still found each other.

Your theme shouldn’t be a broad, one word answer. What about love are you trying to convey? What specifically about failure are you saying?

Theme is the entire reason why the entertainment medium exists, because artist found a way to create something compelling and interesting while also connecting them to real life things.

When you give your reader something to really chew on, even days after they finished reading your fic, then you did a brilliant job. Essentially, you want to use theme in your story because it is what will stick with our readers even years after they’ve read your work.

While that’s all sentimental and sappy, that’s still not your biggest problem, is it? You still need to practice, you still need to learn how to use the things you’ve learned to actually write. So, a summary of what I advise you should do.

Look over and improve your old headcanons, and keep making more! Keep making headcanons and litte prompts, and let them grow bigger and bigger, and more desprictive. This could help you ease into actually writing paragraphs a bit more

Find out what you like to write. Yes, you probably already have a fandom in mind, but think back to those first four elements. What types of plots are you comfortable with, what settings, characters? Genius is only the work of enthusiasm, if you don’t like what you’re going to write, you’ve already failed

Write, write, write. Practice, practice practice. Let yourself write complete and utter garbage and nonesense. Then read it over. See what you don’t like about it. Then change it and write again. I MEAN it when I say you should write garbage. Write a completely terrible, nightmarishly cringe scene. See what you don’t like. Then rewrite it again. Repeat, repeat, repeat. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be a scene or something from your fandom. Let it be your description of a shirt, let is be some cringy poem from 7th grade. Just write and learn how you like to write. It will be so much easier in the long run

Read stuff. The stuff you read usually seeps into how you write. When you get used to reading things a certain way, you usually unconciously try to imitate it when you write. So, got a favourite fic writer? Read their stuff over and maybe even analyze the elements you like (again, think back to those eight elements I talked about) and hey, writers like it when you analyze their stuff so maybe even hit them up and talk? We like book reports we swear, most of us don’t bite.

When you finally think you’re comfortable with your writings, maybe think about what kind of themes you’re into, or what kind of messages you want to say. It doesn’t even need to be that complex. Could be as simple as “I love this ship because it shows that you can still have flaws and be loved” Again, themes are the rEASON for eVERYTHING in the entertainment world

For further demonstration purposes, I’m going to come up with further elements for a hypothetical fic I would write based on that Zelink headcanon. So I’ve got the plot, setting, conflict and theme down. Hmm... I’ll probably use a third person POV as that is what I’m most comfortable with. With third person, I can better highlight the descriptions of Link and Zelda’s surroundings taking in the atmosphere and the aromas and and tastes. The tone will be more happy, focusing on the fun of Zelda and Link’s banter, I’ll try to create a mood in which the reader is laughing along with them, and enjoying the scene. My style will be more descriptive, again with the tastes and smells and other senses of the scene. However, I might go into a more narrative style for Zelda and Link’s banter and dialogue. While typically some people don’t want to use two different styles, I am personally familiar with the styles and know how to write them so as to blend them together more seamlessly. I might have a hint of angst at the end of the fic, as a little climax, given that the setting of the fic is after the defeat of the Calamity. I might through in some themes about how it wasn’t the material power of Hylia or the Master Sword that saved Hyrule, but the courageous and wise bond between Link and Zelda. Then...idk, a little romatic kiss for resolution because this is a fic and I can throw in some fanservice because my writing my rules.

Babam! I just converted a headcanon to a fic.

So yeah, go write your headcanons. Then maybe next a paragraph. Then next a scene, and then you’re well on your way to one-shots and chapter fics. Happy writing and good luck!

#writing #botw #breath of the wild #botw headcanons #zelink

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dianapana · 4 years ago

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SasuHina Month 2020- Day 18

Prompr 18-Movie Stars AU

Initially I wanted to do this in the same universe as the fake dating one. It’s based on pretty much the same idea I guess. I wrote this a few years ago and I wanted to use it; hope yall don’t mind. Love ~Dia

<<Their break-up was the kind of thing that filled front pages for days, it was the talk of the internet, much like their first hook-up was, much like their first meet-up was. Despite working on the same set for a few months, their schedules never matched, they never had a scene together, they were never even in the same building, yet once the movie hit the screens, the unlikely couple picked up fans and speed like a snowball rolling down a hill.

It didn’t matter to the fans that the two raven-haired young adults were never on screen at the same time, the only thing that picked their interest was one of Sasuke’s character line which mentioned something that had an indirect reference to Hinata’s character. That was all it took for the ‘SasuHina’ fan base to blow up out of proportions.

The ‘sasuhina’ tag grew bigger each day on all social media platforms, until it received the attention of a few small magazines, then bigger ones which led to several questions asked to both celebrities about the other.

On a red-carpet interview, a reporter from ‘KonohaNow!’ Asked Hinata what was her first impression when she met the Uchiha heartthrob, after a small laugh caused by the subject of the said question, Hinata stated “No, but really, I never even met Sasuke. Once the trailer launched, I noticed a few posts about me and him, but I honestly never expected it get this big. You’d be surprised how many rumors I heard about the two of us, despite us never actually being in the same room”

The said declaration set the fans on fire, making it their top priority to get the two of them to formally meet, of course in a public way. So, a few months later, both of them stood on a chair across from each other live on ‘The Akatsuki’, while Deidara couldn’t help but grin at the two. Once the show was live it was ranked as one of the most viewed talk-shows in the past years.

After Deidara finished his usual introduction, the two of them got up and officially shook hands and introduced each other. The gesture was a bit awkward which did not escape the public eye, making them come up with reasons such as they were shy to meet, or nervous. If the fandom was big before, after their ‘meet cute’ it had tripled, making both of them rise on the popularity ladder quite a bit.

Even so, the moment that it was certain that SasuHina was real, was a year after their meet, when without any promoting, a trailer for a movie was launched, with the two of them as the main characters that made a deal to help each other commit suicide. The movie was the most expected one of that year, despite no one knowing anything about it but those 50 seconds showing both of them in front of their laptops writing mails to the other. The title was vague “50 Days” and there were no promoting methods, from posters of the movie, to short interviews about it, none of those existed.

Every talk show host that asked to make an interview about the said movie was shut down, critics were confused by the secrecy, since directors tend to do as much advertising as they can, but it turned out that doing nothing, was the perfect method to make everyone talk about the movie. Once it hit the screens a few months later, the fans that expected it purely based on the actors playing were pleasantly surprised with a well written plot, and marvelous filming and editing. The ending of the movie, was one that left its mark on the YA movie industry, making everyone wish that the heroine would have found her partners in crime affection enough to make her wish to live, but sadly it didn’t. The ending broke the world’s heart, but no one seemed to mind at all, since the film featured a couple of shared intimacies between the Hyuuga girl and Uchiha boy. From kisses to, warm hugs and even the dramatic final scene, of Sasuke’s character walking away crying after Hinata’s character funeral, all the tragedy was forgiven.

After finally all the secrets of the movie being spilled, the two actors had the freedom to share everything about the making of the film, from the easiness of working together, to their fast friendship. Pictures of them together on and off set started filling the internet and newspapers for a period of time, only to die down for a couple of months.

Their radio silence was picked up as a sign of their relationship, which was in the ‘hiding’ at that moment. As crazy as it seemed at the time, the theories were proven somewhat right when a picture of them kissing was featured on the front page of a magazine, followed by a video posted on Hinata’s Instagram with her and Sasuke doing a silly dance which ended with the pair hugging and sharing a small kiss.

The fandom could not hold their excitement back, their relationship was labeled as ‘goals’ for the duration of 3 years, the length of it. But a couple of weeks after Sasuke’s 25th birthday their relations suddenly ended.

The media and fans were confused, since they never once made any statement of not getting along, their last picture together was barely a week before the break-up and they seemed content. Everyone was expecting a marriage, not a break-up!>>

It came hard for him to read about his failed love life on every magazine and news site in the world, but whenever he saw anything with her name, he couldn’t help but read, because maybe one of these writers would say something remotely close to the possibility of their break-up being fake, or them getting back together, yet none did that.

“You’re sulking again”

Gaara, his friend and bodyguard told him. The redheaded man was sitting on his sofa as well, switching between Tv channels, to anyone he would have looked like a friend only, not like the man in charge of the safety of his life. Sasuke sighed and put his pad on the coffee table.

“She’ll be back.”

The Sabaku man reassured him, he had been saying that every day since the break-up, and each day it seemed more of a lie. At the beginning he was certain Hinata would turn around and run back to his side, but as weeks passed, he was starting to doubt the possibility.

“You put too much faith in her”

The black-eyed man said while walking into the hallway leading to his bedroom, he was tired and needed sleep. His bed was the only comfort he still had. It was their bed for 3 years. The bedsheets still smelled like her even after being washed a number of times, the mattress still held her body shape.

The last phrase from the article he just read sat heavy on his brain. << Everyone was expecting a marriage, not a break-up!>> He sure had too. He had asked Hinata to marry him, and she dead-pan rejected him, not only did she say no, but she had actually got up and left him.

He knew that she must have had a good reason to leave, he just couldn’t figure out what. Before the said incident, she had been dropping hints here and there about getting married. Subtle hints from sighing happily at the end of rom-cons when the couple got married, to straight up forward questions such as whether he would be alright with a western-type wedding rather than a Japanese one.

He was so fucking certain they were on the same page. Every time she asked anything regarding marriage, he sat a little straighter since the ring sad untouched hidden in their bedroom for a little over 2 weeks, before the hints started. He just needed the time to be right, and when he thought it was; apparently, she didn’t.

He took out his phone and looked at his messages, he had plenty of those but none from Hinata. When she left, she only asked for time and space and he was hell bound to give her whatever she wanted, but the more time passed his hope of her returning with an explanation grew smaller. Being a person in the public eye, he learnt a few important lessons such as not to read the comments to Drama-articles, but he caved this time. Every comment was full of speculations or just straight-up angry for the way things ended between the two of them.

Finally, he put his phone on the nightstand and sighed. Since they started dating 3 years ago, he was so used to her being at his side almost every day. Sure, they were busy with filming their own movies or tv series, with photo shoots, interviews, talk-shows and everything else their agent scheduled. But everyone liked to take advantage of their relationship and of their common fanbase so most of the times they played in the same series, they were called for shows at the same time, there was not a day to go by when they weren’t together for at least a couple of minutes.

Sasuke moved onto her side of the bed and buried his head in her pillow. He kept wondering if she missed him as much as she did him. Her smell still filled their bathroom and there were still days when he’d wake up confused over the empty space in his bed.

He knew Hinata loved him, their love life was full, he would catch her staring at him with a smile on her face, without even realizing it they were always touching, holding hands, their shoulders pressed together, her hand on his knee, his arm around her waist, so without her there he felt somehow incomplete.

He must have fallen asleep at some point because he was jerked awake by a loud crash in the living room. He could hear Gaara talking to someone, not sure who could have caused all this chaos he got up and went to see what was happening. Getting closer to the ruffle he recognized the man talking.

“I don’t give a shit that he decided to give her space. Just because that’s what she wants doesn’t mean it’s what she needs”

His breath sped up. Neji, he was talking about Hinata. He never expected her cousin to come seek him out. The older Hyuuga saw him and started moving towards him, Gaara made a move to get in front of Sasuke before Neji could reach him.

“Out of my way Sabaku. He has to come with me”

“Do you know where she is?” Sasuke asked and he moved around Gaara.

“I do, and she really needs you right now”

That was all he had to hear. If Neji thought it was a good idea for him to go to Hinata it had to be, he would never do anything to harm his little cousin. Sasuke only nodded at his red-headed friend and they were on the move.

They took Neji’s car, the plan was to get Hinata and if all went well Neji would drive them both to their home if not…he’d still drive Sasuke. He only hoped things would turn out good.

“Do you know what happened?”

The Hyuuga clenched his hands around the wheel tighter. “I do” Sasuke opened him mouth to ask what but couldn’t get the words out before Neji talked again. “I really don’t think you should hear this from me. Granted you were supposed to be the first to find out after her but we all make mistakes, don’t be mad at her, she tried her best”

They parked the car across the street from a hotel, Sasuke followed Neji and Gaara was just a step behind him. They didn’t stop in the lobby to ask for the hotel room, Neji walked straight to the elevator and pressed the button for the 12th floor. They didn’t talk, the people that got into the elevator on the 4th floor kept staring at Sasuke but they didn’t say anything either. Finally, when they reached their destination, they marched down the corridor to room 127. The Hyuuga male sighed before softly knocking on the door.

“Hina..it’s me open up” when nothing happened he knocked again but no movements could be heard from the other side of the room. Being fed up with the wait he got his wallet out and took a key card and opened the door.

The room was dark but Sasuke recognized her scent, he noticed her clothes on the floor and finally his eyes rested on her sleeping form on the bed. He took a few steps forward and felt his mouth dry when he realized she was wearing one of his shirts and clenching another one in her hands.

He heard Neji sigh again and he whispered something to Gaara, the two made their way to the hallway but not before telling Sasuke to call for them if anything happened. He nodded without really registering what they were saying, nothing mattered but Hinata at that moment.

He walked up to the bed and sat next to her caressing her check and then her hair, she stirred in her sleep but didn’t wake up. The need to touch her was immense, it physically hurt him not to bend down and kiss every inch of her skin.

He didn’t stop caressing her face and hair for another 30 minutes until finally her eyes opened, she looked up at him and her smile was so wide he felt his heart bust. She was still sleepy and he wasn’t sure if she thought he was real or just a dream but when she sat up and hugged him, he didn’t stop her, nor did he stop her when she started kissing him or when she sat herself in his lap.

He knew they should talk but he missed her so fucking much his brain wasn’t working right. He forgot just how perfect she fit in his arms.

She was the one who stopped the kiss, her breath was shallow, and her eyes were dazed with lust. That look alone would have been enough to make him hard, but her weight on him and the feel of soft curves in his hands only made his pants feel even tighter.

Hinata looked at him for a moment before kissing her way from his jaw down his neck. Her hands wondered all over his chest and back, she started rocking her hips and he couldn’t help the deep throaty groan that escaped his lips. She seemed pleased with the effect she had over him and only started moving faster.

“Hinata��o fuck”

Hearing his voice everything in her stiffened. She stopped moving, stopped kissing and looked up at him like a deer caught in head lights. She was about to get up and flee but Sasuke reached back for her and pulled her into his lap and held her close.

“Y-you’re real” her voice was only a whisper. He wanted to kick himself for allowing things to go that far when she obviously thought she was dreaming. Her shoulders stared shaking and soft sobs filled the room.

“Shh, it’s okay. Everything’s going to be fine”

After a few minutes she stopped crying and moved her head to look up at him. “Why are you here?”

He only smiled at her and kissed her tears away. She didn’t push him away which was a good thing. “I asked for time, for space…” her voice was soft.

“I know, I’m sorry I thought I could give it to you, but…”

After looking at him once again she rested her head on his chest and finally returned his hug, her hands fisted the back of his shirt and her legs wrapped around his middle it felt like she was trying to bring herself closer to him, as close as it was physically possible.

“I’m sorry”

“It’s fine love” He said into her hair. He didn’t know why she apologized, but he didn’t care at that moment, all it mattered was that she was in his arms now. Her soft sobs broke his hear and he couldn’t help tightening his grip, bringing her as close as possible.

It took her a couple minutes to calm down, her face was on the crook of his neck, his hands buried into her hair, they were both breathing in the other, almost like their need of the other was what fueled their lives and the past weeks they’ve been working on empty tanks.

Hinata was the first to push away and look up at him, her hands were trembling as she reached out for his face. She cupped his cheeks and ran her thumbs under his eyes taking in the bags, Hinata leaned towards him and kissed his lips softly, just a few pecks nothing more.

“I’m so sorry baby” Her voice broke and he wished he knew what was wrong, so he could fix it.

“What’s wrong Hina? You have to tell me so I know how to fix it.”

Her eyes filled with tears and she kissed him once more “What if you can’t fix it? If we can’t fix it?” her voice was barely above a whisper.

She bit her lip and got off of him and walked to the far end of the room. Pacing back and forth, she did it a couple of times before suddenly stopping. “A few weeks ago, I thought I was pregnant”

Sasuke was stunned, her being pregnant never crossed his mind, but it would have been the best news ever, but the past tense filled him with anxiety.

“I didn’t want to tell you until I was certain. So, I took a few pregnancy tests 2 of them came off negative but one was positive so I was confused. I scheduled an appointment to check. I-I never had issues with my cycle or infections so I didn’t visit my gynecology doctor quite as often as it is recommended” She stopped pacing in front of him and took his hands into hers. “I told her I wanted a pregnancy test and when that came out negative, she suggested we do a few more tests and I said sure…” She was crying again. Sasuke freed his hands from hers and instead placed them on her waist and pulled her next to him. The silence overtook the room.

“I’m infertile” she finally confessed “the chances of me getting pregnant are very slow, I can’t give you the family you deserve. How could I do that to you? The day you asked me to marry you was the day I just got the results back” Sasuke silently cursed himself for not noticing the fact that she was upset, he had planned it and was so nervous about it, he did not pay attention to her.

“Hinata, it’s fine, everything is ok” He whispered against her hair and placed kissed on her temple. Of course, he wanted to have kids with her, and he would later mourn the loss of that idea but only after he was certain that she would be in his arms. “We’re already a family Hianta. we could also always adopt later on, but all I want now is you.”

Her eyes were watery and red, her expression was so broken. “You don’t hate me? You don’t think I’m broken?”

“I love you, you know that, there’s nothing that could change that, plus you’re not broken love. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you” Sasuke assured her. He couldn’t imagine how Hinata felt. “Let’s go home ok?” He asked to which Hinata only nodded. He picked her up and walked to the door, opened it and looked at Gaara and Neji who were on the hall away from the door; probably to give them privacy. Neji looked relieved to see them together while Gaara’s eyes fell to Hinata and his composure changed from his normal expressionless to sadness. Gaara walked in front of him and Neji was behind him. The walk from the lobby to the car was done in a rush just in case there were paparazzi around.

Neji started driving. “I’ll come back and pack all her things tomorrow” Sasuke nodded. They were together, that’s what mattered. Everything else would fall in place later.

@sasuhinamonth

#sasuhina #sasuhina month #sasuhina month 2020 #SHMONTH2020 #SH2020 #Sasuke #Hinata #Sasuke Uchiha #Hinata Hyuuga #Naruto #dia-story #diawrites

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scentedflowersong · 4 years ago

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The Swan-Mills Saga Annual Couples’ Awards

Ladies (and in broader sense gentlemen), welcome to the most prestigious event of the year - The Swan-Mills Saga Couples’ Awards!

Tonight, we are going to celebrate the accomplishments of love. A jury of thoroughly selected individuals cast their votes and you are welcome to witness their picks of the best couples.

Following rules were chosen for this year’s contestants:

1. the couple must feature in Sins of the Past, The Once & Future Queen (by the ever so talented @swanqueeneverafter) or both,

2. during these two stories, the couple must pass a major relationship milestone.

We sincerely hope you’ll enjoy our picks...

!!!WARNING - SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Rocky Road to the Chapel of Love

Pairing: Ella of Valencia/Henry Swan-Mills Status: married Henry and Ella Swan-Mills went through a bit of a rough patch with Henry letting his fianceé go on an adventure alone (or well not alone, which was half of the problem), but in the end, they managed to overcome all hurdles and as far as we know are happily married and living in a house of their own.

The Star-Crossed Lovers

Pairing: Tristan/Isolde Status: Isolde is dead Quite the opposite fate awaited the pair(s) in our second category. Before Romeo&Juliet there were Tristan&Isolde. Although not exactly the milestone most couples want to go through, the death of Isolde brought the pair immortality AND a place in our contest (which makes it almost worth it in the eyes of our jury).

Honourable mention: Zelena Mills/Robin Hood 2.0

The Old Married Couple

Pairing: Xena/Gabrielle Status: engaged Contrary to what the title of this category (and their behaviour of the last 50 years give or take) might suggest, the Warrior Princess and the Battling Bard of Potidaea have yet to seal the deal. Finally, at the end of TO&FQ Xena asked her soulmate for to marry her, and I think it’s pointless to say that the jury is crying tears of joy even now.

Cottage Core/Teashop AU

Pairing: Tinkerbell/Tiger Lily Status: dating With a few twists in the timeline caused by an impromptu trip to the past (of which more later), the couple taking our next award are literally a pair of your fairy aunts who will sell you delicious herbal tea spiced up with fairy dust in their newly opened shop. Not counting X&G, Tink and Tiger Lily are quite possibly together for the longest time of all the couples featured here. Certainly a very pleasant surprise.

The Fresh Meat

Pairing: Drizella/Dr Whale Status: dating And from the ‘oldest’ to the very freshest twosome in the United realms. With both of her sisters married, Drizella decided that she’d like to put a ring on it too. The jury could not be happier fo her and Storybrooke’s hottest surgeon, Dr Victor Whale, to find love after their past hardships. Perhaps we’ll even get invited to their wedding soon...

The Wholeass 10-course Meal with a Cherry on Top

Pairing: Merida/Anastasia Status: married Speaking of weddings, this one was the titular cherry on top. Where to even start with Anastasia and Merida? They got it all, meet cute, crush/flirting without noticing but everyone else knows phase, the meet the dead relatives stuff, True Love’s Kiss AND a wedding/coronation! Looks like Scottish lasses know how to get thing done, eh? (the jury hereby asks for a step-by-step instructions)

Once Upon a First Time

Pairing: Emma Swan-Milla/Regina Swan-Mills Status: married Before you start to protest against Swan Queen getting awarded despite already going through all the standard relationship milestones, let us point out a very simple fact - thanks to the aforementioned trip back in time Emma, Mulan and Tiger Lily were forced to make, Mrs Swan-Mills met a pre-Evil Queen version of her wife and managed to be Regina’s first lover. Thus making their night of passion in a tent their first time thirty years before they officially meet in the “You’re Henry’s birthmother?!” scene, which is by the jury unanimously seen as an award worthy relationship milestone (not that Emma needed any more reasons to be smug little shit about it).

Something to Talk About

Pairing: Lena/Zelena Mills, Lena/Kara Danvers Status: unknown And so we’ve come to our last category. As the title may suggest both of these pairings are about to be the talk of the town for weeks, if only we knew which of them. During her journey from darkness, Morgana Pendragon left behind (among other things) her name and chose a fresh start where else than in Storybrooke as a new mayor. It goes without saying that as such, Lena is one of the best catches in the United Realms, the question is, who is gonna capture her (literally magic-filled) heart - the former Wicked Witch who saved her life, or the cunning new reporter with Daily Mirror? ;)

Now, thank you all for reading, let us know what you think of our picks.

A special thank you goes to the one and only @swanqueeneverafter for giving us all of the pairings above and much much more (just through the course of SOTP and TO&FQ twice the number of couples were featured).

May we meet at another celebration of The Swan-Mills saga again soon!

#the swan-mills saga #Sins of the Past #The Once & Future Queen #henry x ella #zelena x robin #tristan x isolde #xena x gabrielle #tinkerbell x tiger lily #drizella x dr whale #anastasia x merida #morgana x zelena #lena x kara #emma x regina

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hollowempire · 5 years ago

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Grease || Teen!Yancy x Teen!Reader

Request: Toni and Lexi sort of... they gave me the idea

Summary: Yancy and Reader star in a high school production of grease as Sandy and Danny

Word Count: 1,194

Warning(s): AHWM spoilers, swearing

A/N: I’m not usually really one for high school AUs but it had to be done. This is just too good. (and now y’all got me in a huge Grease mood. damn.)

There it was. The Cast List. Yes, all beginning with capitals. That’s how much it mattered to y/n. She approached the announcement board slowly, the three white sheets stood out against all the worn out messages from previous years. All stapled next to each other, the sheets had about 50 names listed all together.

Based on previous experiences, y/n scanned the ensemble section first. Y/n couldn’t find her name and she grew slightly worried. Had she not made it into the musical at all? She had been wanting to Grease for so long, and this being her senior not getting to do the musical was made even worse. Not in her favorite show, which also happened to be the last show she could ever do at school.

She sighed, defeated, and turned away without even bothering to look at the rest of the sections.

Before she could make it any farther, though, her attention was drawn back to the wall by a strange yet familiar accent.

“What’s the matter? Aren’t you happy with being a lead?”

“That’s not funny, Yancy, you know how I feel about Grease.” y/n snapped.

“Come on, kissing me can’t be that bad,” he said.

Y/n eyed him suspiciously, and kept doing so as she walked back over to the list. He really was serious. Right there under Sandy Olsson was y/n’s name, and beneath that... Yancy as Danny Zuko.

Y/n stared at her name and role with her mouth wide open; meanwhile, Yancy chuckled.

“Well, you certainly look the part! You hair is already greasy as hell,” y/n teased when she had recollected herself.

Yancy immediately stood up talked and placed his hands on his hips. “Now youse just wait a minute!” he said defensively.

Y/n laughed at swatted at his hair. “I’m kidding! Your hair is great,” she said, then running a hand through it.

Yancy had to hide his blush at the comment, shielding his face with his arm under the pretense of trying to fix his hair.

“I’ll, uh, see you at rehearsal,” y/n paused to look at the green sheet posted under the cast list for the schedule. “on Friday.” she said, and left, Yancy still standing there with his face hot.

On Friday, Yancy sat in the audience with the rest of the cast, slightly farther than the others in hopes of getting y/n to sit with him. When he heard the door in the isle nearest to him open, Yancy turned his head and allowed a small smile to form on his face as he watched y/n enter the auditorium and then walk over to where he was sitting. Y/n plopped down in the seat next to him and propped her feet up on the row in front of her. She could only manage to say hi to him before the director announced he would be passing out scripts and then they would do a first read through, skipping over the songs.

Perhaps sitting with y/n wasn’t the best idea. Yancy often found himself distracted watching her and listening to her deliver her lines wonderfully despite never having done it before, almost missing his cue on multiple occasions.

As the days went by and rehearsals got longer, Yancy realized something. No one else was really that good. All the talented kids from the last few shows had graduated while others just didn’t want to do theatre anymore. It’s not that it didn’t interest them, but they just didn’t want to work with the ones that joined theatre just to get some credit for college.

He never really got to hear or see much of y/n, despite the two playing the main characters. The directors has decided to start working with group songs first, so when y/n did sing she was often too hard to hear mixed with other voices. He did quite like it when he noticed her watching and listening intently when he was up on stage.

Finally, it was time to stage Summer Nights. All the songs had been learned in the first few weeks, now being the time to block each scene and learn choreography.

Y/n was good. Like really good.

And then in Born to Hand Jive. She had dance skills that could rival his... and they did. The one thing he never saw coming in this musical was the newfound rivalry between him and his sort-of-friend. He and y/n had some conversations here and there while also mostly picking on each other jokingly. But here he was, with a crush on her and growing tensions. Not an ideal situation. The time Yancy caught y/n staring at him during Greased Lightin’ didn’t help sort his feelings either.

About a month into rehearsals, the two hit a road block. Both had seen Grease many times, both the movies and different productions of the musical, and always sang along to the soundtrack. Even with all that, they still struggled with You’re The One That I want. The most iconic and well known song yet they just couldn’t get the timing right at some parts.

“You suck,” Yancy said after y/n missed her entrance again. For the firth time in a row. She sat next to him on the piano bench, fingers slamming down on the keys in frustration.

“You’re no better,” y/n said, turning her head to look at him. He did the same, and suddenly they were much closer than they intended to be.

They stared at each other for a while. This was the first time either of them had ever gotten a really good look at the other’s face, always too busy with trying to remember lines or choreography or blocking during rehearsal to do it then.

The moment one person leaned in slightly, the other did too and soon they found themselves hovering. Both dared the other to go just a little bit farther. Yancy eventually caved and connected their lips. Y/n, taken by surprise, accidentally knocked her music off the piano as she grabbed onto Yancy’s shoulder for support.

“Okay, so maybe kissing you isn’t that bad...” y/n commented after they pulled back, both sliding to opposite ends of the bench with dazed looks on their faces. Y/n was referring to what Yancy said to her all the way back when the cast list had first come out, the two smiling as they remembered the memory. Y/n suddenly looked down shyly and slipped down to pick up the music.

“What would youse say to a date?” Yancy asked from his spot on the bench while y/n crawled under the piano to retrieve the last couple sheets.

Y/n accidentally hit her head on the bottom of the piano when her head perked up at the question.

“Ow!”

“Shit, you okay?”

“Yeah... and I’d love to go on a date with you.” y/n emerged from under the piano triumphantly with all her music in one hand. A wide grin was plastered into her face. What an eventful past few minutes.

Rehearsal from then on went a lot smoother. Mostly. They still had to work on music, and it wouldn’t get better if it ended like this every time.

#Yancy x reader #yancy #ahwm #a heist with markiplier #yancy ahwm

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carbootsoul · 4 years ago

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i was tagged by @katarahairloopies!!! thank u :mwah:

name: leo! @/zeitgeistofnow on ao3, @lazypigeon & @timetohope on here, altho i’m considering uh switching back to not having an art blog :/ i have to think abt it.

fandom(s): ace attorney is my main one rn bc i’m replaying the games with a friend of mine and it’s reminding me how invested i am in the characters!! a lot of my recent fic is atla stuff, altho i’ve been distancing myself from the fandom bc i’ve kinda exhausted my interest in it. finally i’ve been reading a lot of mp100 fic but i don’t think i’ll ever write for it. i just love how dumb all the characters r (with the dubious exception of ritsu)

where you post: ao3!! tbh i always get suprised when people say they write/read fic on any other platform like i haven’t messed around w wattpad or ff.net since middle school... catch up........

most popular oneshot: going just by “one chapter” as the definition of a oneshot, the firestarters, bc it’s fluffy and modern au :) i wouldn’t necessarily call it a oneshot tho bc to me a oneshot shows like, one scene? so like by my definition and your sweet sweet sun makes me crazy (i wanna lay you down and see how you amaze me is my most popular!! (also @ kit u thought UR fic titles were unnecessarily long??? i’ve hit the ao3 LIMIT for characters in titles. it’s about the aesthetic

most popular multichapter fic: sdkjflakjlkj it’s two crowned kings; and one that stood alone, which is a w359 fic i wrote back in late 2017. it’s literally the last fic i haven’t orphaned from when i actually wrote podcast fic (i have 4 other podcast fics but they were all borne out of nostalgia and written after i stopped participating in the fandom). i rewrote all but the last chapter? the last two? about a year ago and i fucked up halfway through so like chapter 6 and 7 are repeated and there’s something missing but i’m too lazy to fix it. no one’s going to read it now anyway :) it WAS the top minlace fic for a little while tho which i take great pride in.

favorite story you’ve written so far: oh that’s a hard question akfsldkfj i honestly like most of them!! and i write a LOT so there’s a lot to choose from. tonight, we are young is def one of my favorites- it was fun to write and i got to explore the ways zuko and yue r similar, which i LOVE to do outside of a zukka/yukka view. you can lean on my arm as you break my heart is one that i’m really proud of? the whole “cooking as an expression of bato’s love” is definitely some of my favorites. a lot of my ace attorney fics would be categoried as my favorites if i hadn’t improved, too, if that makes sense. like they’re no long my favorites because i can see where my writing is shitty and it bothers me, but if i had written them a month ago they’d be my favorite.

fic you were nervous to post: figures 1-5: killing gods def!! it’s a lot more purple-prose-y than most of my fics and it was also written before i’d kinda like emersed myself in the atla fandom so i didn’t have as good a grasp on the general understanding of zuko’s character as i do now. tbh it’s one i’m rly happy w tho!! i have a few people leave really nice comments on it and rereading them makes me really happy. also it was the start of me hating the position of fire lord and being at least passively anti-it in my fics.

how you choose your titles: they’re almost all song lyrics!! only 14 of my 50 words AREN’T song lyrics and about half of those are from before i started writing ace attorney fic lol. sometimes i go into a fic with a song in mind for the vibes and then i usually go with lyrics from that (like in ‘cuz we’re the greatest /they’ll hang us in the louvre), but otherwise i usually pick an artist i’ve been listening to and go through their songs until i find a lyric that fits. sometimes the lyric doesn’t even really fit the fic and i just chose it at random or because i searching up the word “fly” in my spotify library or whatever. honestly i like coming up with titles? i know a lot of fic writers hate it but being able to just use song lyrics is v soothing for me and while i know that most people won’t search out a song just bc it’s a fic title like.. seeing that the title of a fic is a hozier lyric does affect how i read it and i kinda like that.

do you outline? i outline my long form/multichaptered fics with varying strictness. usually anything over ~8k will have some kind of outline. sometimes i go into it with every single scene planned out, sometimes it’s just notes on the side of the google doc that say “it's about MORE family. about how it's not betraying your existing family to find more” and “scenes i want to include: [...]” and “vampires... ngl kinda hot.” i’m trying to outline super strictly less bc i’ve found it’s less fun? but i do try to keep a plot arc in mind. since most of my fics are more character-driven than plot-driven, that usually just means keeping track of what character development i want to happen or what is motiviating the characters.

complete: um everything posted on ao3 i guess. also the MULTITUDE of orphaned fics out there asksfjldkj i always click ‘leave my pseud on’ so if u look up my username you see all of my fics and then a. lot of other ones.

in progress: - a fic titled ‘dad phoenix’ that is actually just a no DL-6 au with defense attorney miles edgeworth and single dad bartender phoenix where neither of them want to date for A While but phoenix gets wrapped up in one of miles’s cases. it’s about family. it’s about writing teenagers. it’s about the background franmaya which is ALWAYS what i’m here for in wrightworth fics - a franmaya werewolf/vampire au because i’m ~gay~ and love rivals to lovers and also franziska and maya both being angry their older brothers r dating each other. - my secret santa fic!! which i can’t talk about much but it does feature toph and zuko and also piandao and jeong jeong???? idk where they came from but they are Part Of The Fic Now also i forgot iroh existed for half the fic and wrote piandao as zuko’s father figure and now i’m in too deep. - a 5+1 bakoda fic (maybe a bato/hakoda/kay fic??? i need to decide. that’s part of why this fic is still incomplete bc i can’t decide which relationship dynamic i prefer) that’s 5 times bato said he loves hakoda and one time hakoda said it back. possibly i have already written him saying i love u back and i need to change the title a little. - retail au klapollo where klavier works at an overpriced boutique and apollo comes in to buy earrings for nahyuta’s birthday. klavier gives him a punch card (one that the store doesn’t actually offer anymore as a bid to get apollo to come back) and all of apollo’s family come in to use the punch card and also give klavier variations on the shovel talk/find out if he’s actually into apollo. - a LOT of atla fics that i don’t think i’ll ever finish :(

coming soon/not yet started: - i want to write some blackmadhi bc they’re.. cute..... and it’s a good excuse to also write athena and i love her - my stuff for yueki week!!! i have NOT prepped enough but hopefully i’ll remember in time! i wrote the prompts in a way that kinda set up stuff i’ve already wanted to write (don’t look at me lol) so hopefully i’ll get at least two or three fics finished in time. - i want to rewrite the wrightworth fic i have about them not getting married bc it was interesting and i like what i wrote about but i think i could have written it better and made it more interesting. rewriting fics is hard tho bc i’m never sure if it makes sense to just edit in the new work or to repost it? and then if u repost it do u delete the old one? conflicting so i might just not

do you accept prompts? totally!!! a disclaimer tho i’m not super into writing atla stuff anymore (most of the atla stuff i’m still writing is something i made a commitment to finish) so if your prompt is an atla one i probably won’t do it :/ basically anything else is fair game tho!! podcasts/aa/sa/uh i don’t remember anything else but like if you search a fandom on my blog and come up with more than two posts about it chances r i’d be happy to write fic for it!

upcoming work that you’re most excited about: oh huh i mean probably the no dl-6 au!!! it’s the longest ace attorney fic i’ve written already and since it’s wrightworth it’ll get more attention than any franmaya fic i write. my standards r so high now tho after getting to much feedback from atla fans... love u all... obviously i have no choice but to pressure my atla mutuals into playing ace attorney. pls ask abt it bc i WIll Give You A Sales Pitch about why you’d like it in relation to atla

tagging: i’m not rly tagging anyone!!! @deadflora if you still consider urself a fic writer also consider urself tagged! also any of my other mutuals who write fic i just can’t think of anyone rn

#leo.txt #thank u!! i think i wrote a lot for this lol #but literally ive been so bored i don't have anything better to do

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touchmycoat · 4 years ago

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5, 6 (i already know this is some insane amount), 9, 10, 16, 23, 26 (house)

BAAABE :*

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

my office cubicle apparently kdsjfnksd

no but genuinely anywhere i can zone out. i make faces & mutter to myself when i write tho so, anywhere where that wouldn’t draw weird glances lmfao

6. If you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day?

bahahaha i think Farmer’s Almanac holds the record rn—10k, give or take.

9. Do you prefer to write AUs, canon divergence, or canon-compliant fic?

#selfintrospection, my pattern per fandom seems to be starting with canon divergence! I’m a side characters ho, y’all know this, so I always like to recenter the narrative & get a surer foothold in my own interpretations of character first. but after that.... no preference! I love (and have written) all three to great enjoyment heheheh just depends on where i wanna see ‘em fuck

10. Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

NFJDNFJDNFJD HOW CAN I CHOOSE

Exposition is sexy, and i get to be the most experimental & excessive & self-indulgent here w/ style choices.

Dialogue is sexy, ‘cause voices and humor and dirty talk and heartbreak and communication!!! I’m a movie ho so i’m all about that plot-driving script game ;;;;

Plot is sexy ‘cause that’s where you get to fuck around with all the canon themes, subvert & avert & redistribute them!!!!!!!! I’m a slut for that!!!!!!!!!

can’t choose won’t choose :’D

16. What is your most underrated fic?

LMFAO you know i’m gonna say Sword of the Yi Maiden ;) she’s basically like, our child ;;

23. If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

well once i sort out the single dad!Song Lan universe, i’d loooooove to switch gears & swerve into single dad!Xiao Xingchen B) just for kicks. But where Song Lan is like, a high school lit teacher and A-Qing is our favorite local delinquent child. XXC gets called in for a parent-teacher conference, and he’s actually kind of dreading it at first because AQ honestly never had too many complaints about the English teacher, so if this Song Laoshi was suddenly going to betray his daughter’s trust and tattle on her XXC would def take AQ’s side.

But! Turns out SL’s calling him in to be like “hey, AQ never does homework but is fine with participating in class if i kind of trick her into arguing about it, so i figured she just really doesn’t like being told what to do. That’s fine! But that also means I don’t think she’ll respond well to me sitting her down to talk about her higher education options, so I figured I’d run it past the parent first to see if you have any thoughts about how we’re going to proceed.”

it’d be SO fucking funny... AQ stops skipping class or stops zoning out the moment she catches onto her dad’s little ~thing for Song Laoshi. She starts challenging him in class instead on every little thing (”yeah but don’t you think it’s inherently racist to require us to read conrad at all, if there are so many books out there written by actual African postcolonial authors”) but he’s just happy she’s engaging so they bond

they’re both super proud and near tears at graduation, and AQ is too but to hide her own embarrassingly feelings she’s like “don’t pretend y’all aren’t just crying ‘cause you can finally date each other now that it won’t be fucking WEIRD for me”

26. Which part of House was the hardest to write?

hmmmmm I think I had the most number of false starts w ch. 3!! i never save shit rip but at one point i straight up had like.... 13 pages all blacked out? Oh i remember, the scene where AQ first tests SL. I had that set in like, the breakfast stall, in a busy street, a quiet street, etc. etc. I was putting each of their conversations in different contexts too, just seeing how they would play out based on the surroundings??? i even thought about dropping AQ’s POV completely at one point but I’m very glad i didn’t. The current version is actually the very first opening for the chapter i ever wrote so, el oh el, i try not to think all that effort went to waste. It’s more like, I had some ideas, but i had to prove none of them would work before i could proceed with this one, y’know?

BUT TELL YOU WHAT I DID SAVE THO. The first draft of the Ch. 2 opening? After I wrote this i was like “yikes this is way too conventional a set-up for a flashback let’s just do it,” and wrote the current version on ao3 lmao. I kept the chapped knuckles thing~

Under the Cut:

((Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing Asks!))

Song Lan stood at the entrance of his room in the inn, fist clenched hard around Fuxue’s hilt as the rain came in. Night had been the herald, and now, the lantern at the top of the stairs to Song Lan’s left was flickering wildly, buffeted about by the stormy wind.

The inn’s owner, an older woman in her 50s, spoke a string of worried utterances as she hurried up the stairs to close the window. As her hands approached the latch though, Song Lan sensed bloodthirst. Fuxue went flying.

The woman screamed, but the harm was over; a mutated critter of a hungry ghost slumped against the window frame, pinned there by Fuxue’s cool blade. Instead of closing the window for her, Song Lan pressed two paper talismans on either side. He pulled out Fuxue and watched the hungry ghost dissipate.

“Daozhang, daozhang, gratitude,” the woman wept. “A few here and there is nothing, you know? But once they begin to stay, and bigger things start to come, and we have young ones in the house, oh, it terrifies me, what state this city has been falling into…”

Fuxue returned to its sheathe, and Song Lan still had his fly-whisk tucked in his arm. He gave the inn owner a polite bow.

“I will attempt an extermination tonight.”

“Daozhang is so reliable,” the woman said, tears instantly transforming into simpering gratitude. Her distress had been in part a show, meant to move Song Lan into action. Song Lan did not mind; this was his third night at the inn, after all, and the second time the inn owner’s requested a favor from him. It stood to reason that she would think he needs more affective convincing, even if she’s wrong.

“I may trouble you for tea upon my return,” he murmured. When the woman reached out to pat his elbow in a matronly gesture, Song Lan stepped back, disguising the gesture as a readjustment of his robes as he replaced the stack of talismans back in his sleeve.

“Of course,” she replied, hand waving in the air before lowering back down to her side. A spot of tension eased at the base of Song Lan’s neck. “The stove never stops burning in our kitchen, particularly when we have guests. Just give our door a knock if the evening chef isn’t around. We’ll take care of you.”

Song Lan was grateful. He’d need the hot drink when he returned from the rain—soaking in the deluge always left his skin feeling beaten and bloated. And the sensation, if untreated, never failed to transform itself into two long iron nails hammered deep into his skull and brain. The pain was best avoided if at all possible.

(Xiao XingChen knew this about him. Nothing’s ever eased the migraines faster than XingChen’s smile as he wordlessly pushed a cup of hot water or tea across the table. Nothing’s ever distracted Song Lan from the pain more effectively than wondering exactly what would happen, if XingChen’s fingers lingered and his own could touch, just lightly, those perpetually chapped knuckles.)

(Take better care of yourself, Song Lan had once chastised when blood came seeping up between cracked skin.

I forget to, XingChen had confessed, sheepish lines crinkling around his eyes.

Had Song Lan been anybody else, he would’ve said out loud what he wished he could’ve said out loud: I’ll do it then.

Had Song Lan been anybody else, he would’ve thumbed a layer of protective grease over Xiao XingChen’s dry hands himself, save them both the need for cheesy lines and impotent promises. Words often got him into trouble, he knew this; he much preferred the vows made in every shared action that was mutually fostered into consistency. But what did it say about him, that his hands flinched from touch and Xiao XingChen walked at a careful radius around him, that he couldn’t make a vow on any level that counted?)

The extermination was no reprieve from the discomfort, the dissatisfaction, the disassembly of it all. The sky was falling apart and so was his skin. Moderation was less a stranger to Song Lan than longing, but tonight, the berating of his body was not moderated at all.

A year of searching, over, just like that.

An opportunity to apologize, gone, just like that.

A promise.

A dream.

So do you like him then? You want to really build a family with him?

Gone. Just like that.

#microdactyls #asks #THANKS BABE #LOVE ME SOME NAVEL GAZING

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kazablanka96 · 5 years ago

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Do you have any pwp stucky fic recs? I've been looking for some on ao3 for a while but I haven't been able to find any good pwp fics with good writing, good mature scenes and development, they're just so corny, like gimme some good plot man! x.x

Hi anon! ❤️

First of all, I wouldn’t describe a fic corny because no matter what, they are someone’s hard work and effort and there’s always something to love in everything. That being said, I understand different people have different tastes, so I searched in my stash of fic and my goal in the end was to find you ones that were more focused on the plot and character development than that on the smut part of the story. Almost all of them are E rated (and too long), so you know the good stuff are coming.

I am so sorry if these weren’t what you were asking for, but you can always send in another ask and I’d be more than happy to do another search with a different criteria in mind. And if anyone knows of a different fic the anon, or anyone really, can benefit from, please drop it in the notes!

All the fics are under the cut because they are over 50 and that’s a long post.

These Streets ‘verse: The trials and tribulations of Police Officer Steve Rogers and his experiences with the locals in his precinct, as well as his involvement with the stupidly handsome roughneck from the ‘hood, Bucky Barnes.

The Firing Line: When Steve’s dad is diagnosed with cancer, Steve returns to his childhood home to support his mom – a small town called Gold Cliff, Colorado. Ten years before, he left Gold Cliff behind him, left his no-longer-best-friend Bucky Barnes behind him, with the intention of never seeing him ever again. But Bucky Barnes crash-lands back into his life nonetheless, long-haired and one-armed and haunted, keeping secrets from day one.

Institutions of Love and Incarceration: The Winter Soldier has been sentenced to life without parol. His entire world had been condensed to a hot, cramped cell that he hasn’t seen the outside of in the four years since his apprehension. It’s hell. He has no means of escape, no means of terminating his suffering, and no means of distraction…that is, until he’s assigned a new guard. Steve Rogers is assigned the Winter Soldier as his singular charge.

There Is No Shortage of Blood: The long slow recovery of Bucky Barnes after his escape from HYDRA. (And the longer, slower recovery of his sex life.)

Choices We’re Given: Steve Rogers is a good man and a good agent. There’s really no excuse for the assassin in his bed.

Put It on Repeat, It Stays the Same: Steve and Bucky have a one night stand that turns into a friends with benefits situation. A weekend snowed in at Bucky’s apartment brings to light how much that really doesn’t suit either one of them.

What Gladiators Fight For: A new gladiator is brought to Ludus Stark. Steve Rogers is a disgraced soldier, who refused to fight for Rome.He doesn’t want his actions decided by others anymore, and accepts death until Bucky changes his mind. Steve fights to stop Bucky being sold back to his previous master, and Tony exploits the bond blossoming between them. He makes a bargain with Steve, if he fights and wins, Bucky will spend the night with Steve in his cell.Steve wins every fight, until the finale in the Colosseum. Hes not fighting for Bucky, but his Freedom, but is Freedom worth it without Bucky by his side.

If I Was There: Steve is lonely and the number on his phone-screen is unfamiliar. He’s not the social type, not even close, yet there’s something about the man on the other side that makes him interested. He doesn’t hang up until two hours later.-Wrong number AU in which phone sex is the answer and the question is irrelevant.

the Steve Rogers problem: Bucky doesn’t consider his Steve Rogers problem as a problem so much as the solution he hadn’t realized he was hoping for to help him through the transition from the Bucky Barnes he’d been before his accident to the new, shiny version of himself.No, the problem isn’t with Captain America and The Howling Commandos fandom.The problem is the amount of porn Bucky managed to write and draw about Captain America before finding out that he’s less than one degree of separation away from Steve Rogers. ‘Less than’ as in he’s sitting across the table from him.

Prince Charming: Bucky Barnes leads quite the charmed life. He has a thriving tattoo shop, a son he adores, the world’s best dogs, and a great group of friends — almost all of whom are in relationships. And maybe he’d been the one nudging them towards each other, but there’s nothing wrong with a little match-making. The world could use more romance.As for him personally, well, he doesn’t need anyone for the long haul. Not when every girl he meets is someone who he thinks would be perfect for someone else.But then Steve Rogers comes into his shop looking for some ink, and maybe that’s the problem right there. Maybe what he’s looking for in a relationship isn’t a girl at all.

Heaven and That Other Thing: Bucky Barnes is the owner of a cat sanctuary in Brooklyn, an ordinary guy by the Avengers’ low standards, and a growing problem for America’s favourite captain. Steve Rogers is publicly straight, endlessly bored, and has a habit of not fully thinking through his decisions when Bucky is around.

Keep Your Enemies Close: Pierce was an intelligent man. If the Asset was going to start remembering Rogers, it was best to give him an assignment other than the simple, point and shoot. The Asset’s Mission: Pretend he was James “Bucky” Barnes, best friend to Steve Rogers. He was to evaluate Rogers and see if Rogers could be used by HYDRA…or be put down if the Asset thought otherwise.The Asset now has to pretend to be Bucky Barnes, unknowing that he is in fact the man that Steve has been searching for all along. Pierce instructed the Asset to gain trust, observe, and report. How far is the Asset supposed to go to avoid his cover being blown? He guesses he’s just going to have to find out…

Of Broken Dreams and Mended Hearts: When the House of Barnes is left in massive debt after the death of George Barnes, their oldest son and heir, Bucky, is forced to sacrifice his own hopes and dreams by entering an arranged married to Steve Rogers. Steve seems kind enough, has a prominent job in the government, and was even voted Society’s Best Catch. But the House Rogers is significantly higher in status than Bucky’s family, which means Bucky is marrying up in Society, and marrying up doesn’t only come with rewards, it also comes with certain…expectations and losses–some of which Bucky might be willing to do anything to avoid. And those opportunities might come his way.Unless, of course, he actually starts falling in love with his new husband…

A Myriad of Misdecisions: “My parents thought I was working for an insurance company in New York when really I was joining the CIA so I just sort of never mentioned when I met you on an assassination-gone-wrong and now we’ve been married for five years and they still don’t know you exist, this has gotten wildly out of hand and you won’t stop laughing about it”

Catfish: Steve Rogers is a famous movie star, known for his role as Captain America. Bucky Barnes is a bored law student who drinks too much wine. Bucky gets on match.com to boost his confidence. What he doesn’t expect is a guy using Steve Rogers’ pictures on a dating profile. Bucky decides to mess with the guy. After all, what idiot uses Steve Rogers’ pictures on a dating site?Not like it’s really him, right?

Give ‘Em Hope: Dr. Steve Rogers likes to think that if his patients have hope- their chances of survival will increase. Bucky Barnes has a 20% chance of survival and a desperate yearning to experience life. Against Steve’s better judgment, he develops a relationship with his patient. It’s illegal. It’s wrong. But it’s giving Bucky the hope to keep going, so Steve’s going to keep giving it, because he wants Bucky to survive.He needs him to.

A Love I Never Had: Detective Steve Rogers is not a cop if he’s dead. A Modern Frankenstein AU; or, the Modern Prometheus

After Hours: Steve wishes Bucky wouldn’t look at him the way he does – a deliberate gaze, subtly digging his top teeth into that pouty bottom lip; following his every move like a lion watches a gazelle. It’s been going on for months, perhaps longer… Steve talks, and Bucky listens. Well, that’s the point – Bucky’s supposed to be listening. Steve’s just doing his job, after all… No harm in that.The problem is that it’s no innocent gesture, the way Bucky will have the top of his pen tracing the outline of his mouth… It’s also not innocent at all when Steve turns to look out at the sea of heads while he’s speaking and catches the quickest glimpse of the brunet sneaking a peek at his ass. And Bucky doesn’t even pretend to be bashful about it. He just meets Steve’s eyes and smirks – just the tiniest hint of a thing.

The Match Game: Steve meets and promptly falls for Bucky Barnes, new resident in his apartment building. The one who makes him feel like he only wants to be with one person, forever. He just doesn’t know how to make that happen. Lucky for him, he has friends who… tease him mercilessly. And then help. A lot. Steve gets a lot of opportunities to get to know his new neighbor and thinks everything is going great, until Bucky reveals to him his own long-term relationship ended badly, and he doesn’t want another…but he might be up for a friends-with-benefits deal.

G.I. Joes and 2AM Diners: They look nothing like what they used to. Time and life have completely changed them. But as they sit there in silence, eating two halves of one cupcake, letting Brooklyn remind there where they came from, and enjoying a sky full of stars… They are those same little boys, somewhere deep down. For just a second, you’d be able to see them again.And Bucky thinks to himself that maybe it’s little moments like these – fleeting as they may be – that remind him why life is still worth living.

Screaming Words (Left Unspoken): Living as a fugitive is hard. Living as a man who has to wake the love of his life from cryo is harder. Why? The codes in Bucky’s brain don’t have a fix yet, but Steve has worse news to deliver. Bucky’s dying slowly from self-destruct protocols inside him. Now, it’s a race against time to save Bucky once and for all.And maybe finally tell Bucky that Steve’s been in love with him since he was a sixteen-year-old kid in Brooklyn. Oh and not get extradited by the UN from Wakanda. That’d also be great.

Winter Gorgon: For as long as Steve could remember, all he ever wanted to do was what was right. So when he hears about his father’s old regiment being held as POW’s by the Nazis, he’s determined to put what Doctor Erskine gave him to good use and goes AWOL to rescue them.But the 107th isn’t all he finds there. Deep in the labs is a very unusual prisoner; one with snakes in his hair and a mask nailed to his face. Despite the man’s monstrous visage, Steve can’t in good conscience leave him to the enemy. That one act of mercy will change his life, the course of the war, and even the future of the world.

That Would Be Enough: Bucky Barnes, a Columbia University graduate with a Masters Degree in Education, is in his fourth year of teaching AP US History at Shield Academy, a private school in the very heart of the Connecticut valley in the bucolic town of Barkstead. He also helps run the Russian Club with his colleague and best friend, Natasha Romanov. He’s got amazing friends, three nephews he adores, and a beautiful little apartment. The only thing Bucky would change about his life? His luck in love. It’s been two years since Bucky ended an emotionally abusive relationship and he’s just now starting to feel that his heart has healed enough to try dating again. Then, a new Art History and English teacher arrives with tattoos he doesn’t like talking about, a body like a Greek god, and some secrets of his own, and Bucky knows he’s done for. Cue pining, sass, and a ton of Hamilton references.

Heat of the Night: Steve is a cop. Bucky is the kept boyfriend of the super rich bad guy. Bucky doesn’t really have any information because his sole job is to look good when they go out. But he gets Steve’s card and he calls him and Steve meets him for lunch and coffee and dinner and Steve knows this could be a bad thing. He knows Bucky could be a trap. But the way he talks, how he smiles at Steve, laughs like it’s a sound he’s not used to making…Steve thinks he could be worth it. Steve thinks he could be worth everything

The North Star: “You got plans to retire, Cap? Find a nice little beach in the Indies and a good supply of rum? Couple of pretty girls in grass skirts to dance for you.”.“Sam,” Steve mumbles, covering his face with his hand.“I’m sorry, a couple of pretty boys?” Sam grins wickedly.“Sam!” Steve looks scandalised, which gets him nothing but laughter from his Quartermaster. “You’re fired. Go throw yourself overboard this instant.”

Lemon Meringue Lies: Being a server at a high-end restaurant is working out well for Steve. All he has to do now is convince Bucky he’s good enough to work as chef in the same restaurant. Meanwhile, Bucky has his own issues to deal with. Namely: trying his damndest to dig them out of poverty, make sure Steve’s health is on the up and up, and not acknowledging his very longstanding desire for his best friend that is slowly eating him up inside.

Steve Rogers. Cheerfully Slutty: Steve Rogers. Cheerfully Slutty. But not going to take your shit about it. Bucky Barnes. Voted most likely to fall in love first.

Sorry, Not Sorry: All Steve Rogers ever wanted was to do what’s right. So when he drops in to volunteer at the Brooklyn VA Outpatient Center, he’s surprised to learn some veterans actually resent Captain America and everything he represents. One veteran in particular is determined to make sure Steve understands just how much he dislikes him.

Lucky Seven: Captain America trashes his motorcycle a lot. Tony says he’ll fix it, then never gets around to it and just buys him a new one. Steve, the Depression-era kid, can’t stand the waste and goes looking for somewhere near him in Brooklyn where he can get his bike fixed. That’s how he finds Red Star Bike Repair, and the hot Russian-immigrant bike racer who runs it: all long hair and muscles and tattoos. And for the first time since he woke from the ice, Steve feels a connection to someone; a comfort in the other man’s silences and his space, an attraction in his sheer skill at racing. But James Barnes isn’t exactly who he seems…

Above the Rain and Roses: But tonight, Steve is visiting The Armory. An exclusive club where unattached Doms can go and enjoy themselves with a good sub for the night. Not exactly the place Steve expects to find his one true love.Then again, fate might have other plans, and one sub might get in way over his head making assumptions about this Dom.

A Marriage of Ice and Fire: Steve Rogers hates James Barnes. The feeling’s mutual; their families have been at war for longer than they’ve been alive. But King Odin has had enough. He orders the two of them wed to end the fighting.It’s not enough that they have to look at each other’s faces without spitting; the King has declared the year’s tournament in their honor. They’ll have to lead the events together. They’ll be wed in front of everyone.

The Commander’s Omega: Steve Rogers is struck by a persistent headache as the dawn rises over DC.So are—simultaneously—Natasha Romanov in the Muscovite night, James Barnes in the dull grey of a Berlin afternoon, Tony Stark stumbling out of his Afghan cave, Bruce Banner in the crushing heat of the Nevada desert, Clint Barton squinting up at the Vegas lights, Loki Laufeyson under the Scandinavian sun, and Prince T'Challa amidst the West African rainforest.Surely it’s nothing but an odd coincidence.

Oh Can’t You See, You Belong To Me: Bucky Barnes has recently moved to New York and things are looking up. He’s got a great new job working for Tony Stark, he has a nice apartment, and his boyfriend Peter is fun. He just needs some friends. Unfortunately Steve Rogers doesn’t seem to want to be just friends.

Echoes In Our Minds: Steve Rogers is struck by a persistent headache as the dawn rises over DC.So are—simultaneously—Natasha Romanov in the Muscovite night, James Barnes in the dull grey of a Berlin afternoon, Tony Stark stumbling out of his Afghan cave, Bruce Banner in the crushing heat of the Nevada desert, Clint Barton squinting up at the Vegas lights, Loki Laufeyson under the Scandinavian sun, and Prince T'Challa amidst the West African rainforest.Surely it’s nothing but an odd coincidence.

Leg Day: The one where Sam is Bucky’s long-suffering roommate, Bucky is a hot mess of a millennial, and Hot Steve spends far too much time on the Lat Pull-Down machine.

Give a Little, Take a Little: Bucky’s nearly thirty and has never been spanked. For most people, this wouldn’t be a pressing concern. Bucky is not most people.

Trained on You: Bucky Barnes is disabled veteran who’s trying to learn how to live his life now without his left arm. His best friend Natasha pushes him to build up the strength and confidence he’d lost along with his limb at the Rally Health and Wellness Center with the help of top notch trainer/physical therapist Sam Wilson.Bucky knew it’d be hard work. What he didn’t realize was just how difficult it’d be to concentrate on his own rehabilitation at the innocuous, easygoing gym. But after he first lays eyes on new trainer and walking wet dream Steve Rogers, it’s all he can do not to fall face first on the treadmill.Working out had never gotten Bucky so worked up before. Go hard or go home? Yeah, he’s definitely going home hard.

Where There’s Smoke: Steve is a Brooklyn firefighter who is about to be saddled with a new, rookie crewmate. James Barnes is that rookie, just looking for a fresh start at a new station. Steve’s friends think they know what’s best for him…start dating his new crewmate. Steve thinks they’re crazy…or possibly right. But events from James’s recent past may pose a threat to any designs they have on each other.

Under the Bridges of Fame: For better or for worse (usually worse), Steve Rogers has been the most famous guy in the room for a while. And though newsreels have given way to YouTube, people’s reactions haven’t changed much in seventy-some years. Steve’s become an expert at keeping his head down and getting on with his life.A head-on collision on a busy street sends books flying and sweeps Steve off his feet. The point of impact has a name: James. A charming mess of long hair, thick glasses, and a crooked, not-quite-smile. If he recognizes Steve, he chooses not to comment, placing him firmly in Steve’s good graces. As far as Steve can tell, they might be Bogie and Bacall all over again, save for the group of idiots with selfie sticks who surround them. But for once, the request isn’t for Steve.Which begs the question: if James is James, then who the hell is Bucky?

Keep Making Trouble ‘Till You Find What You Love: “No no no, hear me out,” Bucky says. “You wanna get back at them, right? Imagine the following: We date, fall madly in love, then have the most horrendous breakup in history and make them deal with that. They’ll feel terrible because they set us up, and we get to eat free ice cream and see their faces when we eventually tell them we pulled one over them,” Bucky finishes with a smug grin. “That’s a terrible plan,” Steve says.

Trust Enough: So they exchange numbers, and then Steve says he should go, and Bucky agrees, and they kind of stare at each other for a bit more, then Steve actually does go, but not before taking Bucky’s hand and squeezing it warmly in a way that makes Bucky want to shiver all over. Then Steve is gone, and Bucky is standing alone in the alley, grinning to himself. Right up until the moment he remembers that Steve thinks Bucky is an escort he’s just hired. Well fuck.

Took my love, took it down: The problem, Bucky thinks now that he has most of his memories back, is that his whole entire world has always revolved around Steve Rogers. Steve has been always been half of Bucky’s identity. Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers’ best friend. Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers’ wingman. Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers’ teammate. And now, well, now Steve had other people to fill those positions.

These underdog hearts: It starts in October: the sun is shining, the leaves are falling, and Steve Rogers is Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Push It Real Good: The way Steve had to steel himself to ask the question made Bucky a little wary. “Will you be my partner for a Lamaze class?“For a few long moments, Bucky just blinked at him, not knowing which question to ask first. Finally he went with the biggest question on his mind. “What?”

I just met you (and this is crazy): After Steve gets outed by a grainy cell phone picture, it takes the media less than 24 hours to discover Captain America’s secret relationship with James Barnes: classical musician, teen heartthrob, and son of a former president.The only problem? Steve has never met James Barnes in his life.

We Never Had a Choice (But I Choose You): When Bucky Barnes is abducted by political activists, the circumstances are simple enough. Desperation breeds all sorts of terrible decisions, after all, and Bucky’s captor is clearly woefully out of his depth. Maybe, just maybe, he can talk his way to freedom, but the more Bucky learns about the circumstances of his capture, the more complicated things seem to get. On the run and forced to trust the man who abducted him, Bucky comes to realize that kidnapping is the least of his worries.

Someone To Watch Over Me: One cold, winter’s night, Steve Rogers, retired Special Forces operative, finds an unconscious young man in the woods surrounding his property. In the morning, the stranger wakes up and Steve is left with plenty of questions about the beautiful young man with guileless eyes and a sheepish smile, who speaks with self-deprecating humor as though there isn’t a bruise on his face and restraint marks on his wrist.

A Hatemance For The Ages: This is what happens when you find your soulmate… and instead of birds singing and roses blooming, you discover they’re an insufferable jerk. But an insufferable jerk that you low-key really want to bang, if nothing else because MAYBE THEN THEY WOULD SHUT UP.

Home Is Wherever I’m With You: This is what happens when you buy a house to flip having only seen the online images: you get more than you bargained for. Bucky Barnes brings all the tools to handle a dilapidated home, but he’s hardly prepared for a smart-mouthed child (with poor aim), a crying baby, and the hottest dad he’s ever seen in his life living right next door.

Sugar Sweet: College Student Bucky finds himself immediately attracted to Steve. He knows that Steve’s a bit older than him, and that Steve himself is put off by the age difference… But that doesn’t stop Bucky from wanting to climb him like a tree. AKA a Sugar Daddy AU that no one was asking for.

Parallels: At the end of “Captain America: Winter Soldier,” Steve fell from the helicarrier into the water. He wakes up, however, in an alternate universe where he and Bucky are dating.

Parallels 2: Bucky wakes up from cryo in a parallel universe - in which he works at a coffeeshop and Steve is his favorite customer.

… and I know the ask clearly asked for E rated fics, but those are some PG-13 ones with some solid plot and development, or at least for me, that I think worth mentioning:

It’s No Coincidence: The kids immediately scream, “Trick-or-Treat” before they see who opens the door.The strange resident looks between the two kids, then at the adults, and his eyes widen in horror.“It’s October already? “Okay, Bucky thinks.This guy is probably high.

A Working Romance: Eddie just wants to make a good documentary about good, normal people. Tony Stark just wants to manage his branch and make his dad proud. Bucky Barnes just wants to sell paper without pining over the receptionist. Steve Rogers just wants to draw superheroes and marry Peggy Carter. Sam Wilson just wants Bucky and Steve to get their act together.AKA The Office AU no one asked for.

Leave Me On The Mountain: Bucky is certain that he’s about to die, cold and lost in this mountain forest. But just as he thinks that the wolves have him, someone finds him and takes him in.

Thawing: Heroin. It’s a helluva drug.

The Necrofloranomicon: Bucky didn’t want much. Just to keep his head down, to sell his scavenged flowers in peace, and to stay off Shield’s radar. His life would have been a lot easier if his flowers weren’t dead and if being a necromancer wasn’t illegal, but easy or not, he was getting by. Steve didn’t want much, either. He was happy working for Shield, he had good friends, and overall his life was going just about the way he wanted it. Problem was, being happy with your life was generally an invitation for fate to throw a spanner in the works—and in Steve’s specific case, it was going to be a spanner named Bucky.(A love story about flowers, trust, and magic and the choices we make about doing what’s right.)

… aaaand that’s it folks! Sorry for the long post, and again, if anyone has a fic or seven to rec, please write it in the notes for us all to enjoy!

#stucky #stucky fic rec #stucky fic #stucky au #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #answered

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commentaryvorg · 5 years ago

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Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Bonus 3.1 - Dangan Salmon Team (Kaito Edition)

This is postgame content, so people shouldn’t be reading this without having already finished the main game anyway. But just to be safe: while this is non-canon character stuff, I will sometimes be mentioning events that happened in the main story, so there will be spoilers for the main game.

First of all, can we talk about the ridiculous title of this game mode? “Love Across the Universe: Dangan Salmon Team”. Or, in Japanese, “Year-round Space Variety Love Show: Dangan Red Salmon Gang”. The salmon part is just your average Danganronpa weirdness, but on the other hand I do like the inexplicable space theme they’ve also got going. I like to think this is less because of the fake story about them being on a spaceship, since they don’t try and push that angle at all in this AU, and more just because Kaito, did you know Kaito is the most important character.

The title screen of this mode really leans into that space theme, too. It’s even got a rocket! And most importantly the rocket has a window, remember how Very Important it is for all rockets to have windows.

(In other Inexplicable Space Theming for this game, there’s a BGM piece used during trials that’s called “Class Trial Space Edition”. SPACE. Space is important in this game, you guys.)

For clarification, since the title does not remotely explain the point of this, this is the social interaction side mode in which you can get the FTEs of everyone you didn’t do during the main story (not that that’s what I’m here for) and then also some extra bonus interactions. Those bonus bits are what I’m here for, specifically with Kaito, because it’s me, and Kaito is the only character I like to such an extent that I even want to cover this bonus fluff for him. The title is about space, so clearly spending even more time with Kaito in particular is the entire point of this game mode, right?

This mode has the most half-assed introduction explaining its premise which I’m not going to go into in detail because it doesn’t deserve it. The gist is that things begin as they do in canon, except then Monokuma abruptly decides to cancel the killing game and have a reality dating show instead because apparently that’s what the outside world would prefer. The couples who end up together get to leave!! which is gross and manipulative and amatonormative and unfortunately very believable as something a shallow audience like this one might want to see. And, sure, it is an improvement on them being made to kill each other, but this is definitely still some level of fucked up. If any romances did form during this, how could the people involved be sure their partners’ feelings were really real and not just faked so that the two of them could escape? How could they even be completely sure about that for their own feelings? This would result in the most unhealthy of relationships.

Kaito: “Hey, what the hell are you talking about!? Telling us to fall in love or whatever? What do you want us to do!?”

Okay I said I wouldn’t do this in detail but I do like that it’s Kaito in particular who objects to this specific idea. If people are being forced to fall in love, then it’s not people acting on their own feelings at all! Kaito doesn’t have any specific opinions about romance that we’ve ever heard, but this is from his principles about being true to yourself.

So… that’s the thing about this mode. While it makes sense with the overarching V3 twist that this is just to entertain a shallow TV audience, it leaves things with this uncomfortable patina of being all about romance. Even though the free time events are exactly as they are in the main story, and most of what the game calls “dates” aren’t explicitly romantic either, that’s still apparently supposed to be the goal. And while I just talked about how messed-up this setup is for forming romances, which could at least be potentially interesting to explore if they acknowledged that, the narrative plays it completely straight because of course it fucking does. It’s not only the in-universe audience that’s being amatonormative here.

Kaede’s FTEs in particular, since they only exist in this Amatonormativity Mode, really lay on the romance more heavily than I think they would in any other context, which makes me not want to cover them even though I otherwise might like to because Kaede’s one of my favourite characters. (As far as I remember, they’re not bad or anything, it’s just Not My Jam.) And it seems that some of the characters’ ending scenes for this mode also embrace this annoying idea and shoehorn more romance in them than they really should have. For example Maki’s ending scene is mostly fine until it suddenly insists that she and Shuichi are romantically into each other, which is provably not in line with canon because Maki becomes equally close to Shuichi in the main story and there are no romantic feelings on either end there so why should this be any different. And it’s not just her ending scene: a small handful of Maki’s dates and other dialogue specific to this mode try and make her all stereotypically tsundere towards Shuichi in what I can only assume is a very tiresome attempt to hint at romance between them, and ugh no get it away leave Maki the fuck alone she does not deserve this.

However, this game is also reasonably heteronormative, and while heteronormativity is of course objectively terrible and needs to go away, it does mean that when things are also being amatonormative (another thing that is equally terrible and equally needs to go away), there’s only 50% as much amatonormativity as there could be. So, since Shuichi and Kaito both happen to be guys, all of Kaito’s scenes in this mode remain completely platonic. While Monokuma didn’t mention this and everything in the flavouring of this mode is trying to pretend this is totally all about romance, apparently any people who become epic inseparable platonic friends also get to leave? Which I am very happy about, because I would not want to cover this otherwise. I don’t like it when my adorable friendships are diminished with romance, dammit.

So now to complain about the other awkward thing about this mode, which is how horrendously artificial and inorganic it feels to actually play. For one thing, we’re playing as Shuichi, but he’s already removed his hat and is apparently also already Kaito’s sidekick as we’ll be seeing, even though literally none of the character development and interactions that were required for Shuichi to make that progress has happened. And that shouldn’t have had time to happen offscreen either, since Monokuma declared that there’ll be a 10-day time limit for people to partner up, and then you get dropped into the game on Day 1. It’s just really hard to buy this AU as a properly justified and backed-up story.

Then there’s the fact that all the other characters you can hang out with just stand in a fixed spot in the courtyard – always the same spot every day – apparently just waiting for Shuichi to come and talk to them. If you do an FTE and not a “date”, they will then stay in this exact spot (apart from rare exceptions in which the FTE itself involves going somewhere in particular) for the whole event, despite that this might be awkwardly in earshot of another student who’s busy standing unmoving in their own spot nearby. There’s no sense of this being a story and not just a game – no hints of any kind of other friendships or community forming or any of these characters acting like people beyond just existing for Shuichi to get close to.

Which, okay, is pretty understandable since this is just a hasty bonus mode mostly slapped in here to make getting everyone’s FTEs easier than replaying chapters of the main story. But even so, there’s Kaede’s and Rantaro’s FTEs and then all of the “date” scenes and graduation scenes which are all scenes that only exist in this AU – that’s precisely why I’m here covering Kaito’s ones in this commentary – and so it would be really nice if they’d actually put, like, any effort at all into making this AU feel like a real story to give these scenes a more robust context. As it is, these scenes mostly just feel like context-less snippets of character insight, and if anything really needs more context then you have to use your imagination and come up with it all yourself.

But anyway, I’m here to talk about practically everything Kaito ever says and does, and I’m damn well going to do it regardless of how little context I get for it.

First, actually, while wandering around the courtyard I learned that you can talk to the two Exisals that are at work there, one of which is the good old red Exisal, and Monotaro actually has something kind of interesting to say. (Shocking, I know.)

Monotaro: “I’m the red Monokub! That means I’m a main character, so I don’t tell lies! …Hm? But then, why do they call them ‘bright red lies’? Are lies red? Does that mean I’m a liar?”

Obviously I always figured that Kaito got the red Exisal because it’s the main character’s one and therefore the most fitting for a hero like Kaito (plus there wasn’t a purple option). But this is an interesting potential extra reason why they chose that colour! I can only assume this is a Japanese saying because I’ve never heard it before, but that’s neat if it’s really a thing.

Kaito’s designated Unmoving Courtyard Spot is sadly not the training spot. Instead, it is worryingly close to the gates to the casino. Kaito, no.

Dates Hangouts

So the main bulk of content unique to this mode is a series of mini-scenes you can get with each character after having maxed out their FTEs. The game refers to these as “dates”, but screw that, I’m going to refer to them as “hangouts” despite what the game calls them because the romantic connotations of the word “date” annoy me. Let’s hang out with Kaito! In a… slightly different sense of hanging out than what happens for his FTEs.

You get to choose one of five locations to hang out in, and then the game gives you a set of three options to pick for that place, which will vary in how much your hangout partner enjoys it. If you then later hang out with that person in the same place, it’ll give you a second set of three options, and then a third set the next time. Once you’ve had all three sets for a given location, it won’t give you any more options and you’ll just get a generic “we hung out for a while” textbox. So within one playthrough of this mode, for each character, you can only see three out of the nine mini-scenes for each place, or only fifteen out of the forty-five in total. Which is fine if you’re just trying to max someone out and get their ending, because that takes a minimum of five scenes if you get the best outcomes. But if you’re trying to see all the scenes, it’s a bit inconvenient.

What I’m saying is that I’m going to have to do three separate playthroughs of this mode to get all of these for Kaito. I do not envy whichever wiki writer went and compiled these for literally every character, but I am definitely thankful to them for removing the need for anyone else to do this, and for allowing me to see all these scenes beforehand without doing this myself. (I’m doing it myself here anyway because it feels more natural to me to transcribe the lines from my Vita after doing it for the whole game, but at least I wouldn’t have had to if I didn’t want to.)

Some of these are just going to be me fairly superficially going “hee look at Kaito being a dork”, and some will be me discussing how Good Kaito’s principles and outlook are some more. But the biggest reason I wanted to do this is that some of them go deeper than that and are relevant to his issues in some interesting way. They’re pretty delightfully subtle about it, as Kaito’s issues usually are because he refuses to talk about them, but they’re very present even in this context of just hanging out with Shuichi, since Kaito’s issues revolve heavily around his relationship with his sidekick.

For the sake of not having this be a completely disjointed read, I’ve grouped these hangouts not by the arbitrary categories of which location they take place in, but rather by some of the general ideas relating to Kaito’s character or outlook that I end up discussing with them.

First, though, just a couple of odd ones out that didn’t quite fit into any of the upcoming categories.

[A/V Room]

- Watch a horror movie

Kaito: “L-Like I’d watch something so uncool. What’s so fun about watching fake g-g-ghosts? Don’t get me wrong! I’m not s-scared or anything!”

Yep, this was of course a bad idea. The purpose of Kaito being written with his phobia is irrelevant in this non-killing-game AU, but since the writers changed their minds about doing the killing game after creating the characters, he still has it anyway.

While a player would choose this knowing full well it’s the wrong option, at least this isn’t Shuichi deliberately being a dick, because in this AU he wouldn’t know about Kaito’s phobia. He probably innocently thought Kaito might enjoy the thrill or something.

(Observe how “Kaito has a phobia of ghosts” is something that doesn’t fit into any of the categories I’ll be having here, which all have some kind of connection to meaningful parts of his character. Tsumugi, you’re a bad writer.)

[Library]

- “Let’s make a tower of books”

There’s only one thing of note about this one, which is this:

Kaito: “Let’s make a tower of books that’ll pierce the heavens!”

This is a delightfully blatant Gurren Lagann reference and I love it. They knew. They knew exactly what they were doing with Kaito’s character, and then some.

Astronauts and space

Obviously a necessary category for Kaito. Let’s talk about SPACE and his astronaut training!

[A/V Room]

- Watch a documentary on athletes

Kaito: “Seeing this makes me remember my astronaut training. Astronaut training involves just as much exercise as athletes do.”

It’s neat that he enjoys this because it reminds him of his own training. Kaito really would not normally slack off with exercise; the only reason it seemed like he was doing that in the main storyline is because he was sick!

Kaito: “I wonder how all those guys who trained with me are doing…”

Yeah, uh, about that…

Kaito: “Alright! Thinking about that made me super motivated! We’re definitely gonna get out of this place, you got it!?”

Oh dear, Kaito now especially wants to get out of here so he can see his friends from astronaut training again. They… don’t exist. Neither do his grandparents. When everyone escapes in this AU, they are all going to very abruptly learn that they’re “fictional” and none of their loved ones are waiting for them at all. That is not going to be fun for them. (And they’re going to learn that off-camera, in a way that is no longer part of this “story”, so the audience isn’t going to see how fucked-up this is and nothing is going to change.)

Since they’ll still have memories of their loved ones that feel real to them, and yet they can’t ever actually see them again, it’s basically going to be feel equivalent to if their loved ones had all died while they were in here. They’re going to be grieving for people they know in their heads never even existed. That did also apply to Shuichi, Maki and Himiko in the canon ending, but it’d have been a lot less significant next to all their grief for the real people whose deaths they actually experienced. In this AU, though, it’d be a much bigger thing.

(On the other hand, their pasts being fictional is still a good thing for Maki at least (whose best friend was already dead in her memories). And Kaito would still definitely take that opportunity to be happy for her even as he’s reeling from his own loss.)

[A/V Room]

- Watch a documentary on aliens

You’d think this’d be the one Kaito would enjoy the most of the three options it’s part of, but it really, really isn’t.

Kaito: “I totally get why you’d be interested in this documentary.”

Of course. Everyone should be interested in aliens, right?

But, alas, he goes on to say that he found out some time after having watched it himself that it was all fake.

Kaito: “The day I found that out… I’ve never felt despair like I did that day… How dare they mess with my adventurous heart…”

Turns out, the only way to make Kaito feel despair is to give him false hope that aliens exist, and then take it away. That’s adorable.

(Obviously he doesn’t mean real, proper despair, though. Kaito is literally incapable of feeling that; it’s like his superpower – remember when he convinced himself the destroyed outside world maybe wasn’t the truth with no evidence purely for the sake of not giving up? But still, it’s amusing that he uses that word.)

I wonder how convincing the documentary even was in the first place. Wouldn’t surprise me if it emphatically wasn’t and Kaito only believed it out of childlike optimism when he really should have been able to tell it was fake already, because he’s a dork like that.

[A/V Room]

- Watch a documentary on bugs

Kaito: “I remember a while back there was some theory that bugs came from space. All life came from the ocean and as far as I know, there aren’t any bugs there.”

Kaito, no, that is not how evolution works. Apparently whatever science credentials he has do not extend into biology. There being almost no bugs in the ocean any more doesn’t change the fact that they evolved from ocean-dwelling organisms just like all life did. There are no humans who live in the ocean either, but that doesn’t make humans aliens.

Kaito should sit down with Gonta sometime and learn about the evolutionary biology of bugs. He’d find it interesting (even if it does mean no bug-aliens), because he finds everything interesting! And it’d mean Gonta would have someone he could actually talk to about bugs who’s genuinely interested and not secretly squirming from revulsion.

Kaito: “That theory got shot down, but I always get so pumped up by stuff like that!”

I should hope it got shot down, because it didn’t make any goddamn sense. It can’t have even been a proper scientific theory in the first place. But of course Kaito just liked to be able to imagine there’s already aliens on Earth. Nothing’s stopping him from still pretending bugs could be secret aliens just to amuse himself! Fictions are exciting even though you know they’re not true!

[Dining Hall]

- Drinking green tea after a meal

Kaito: “Yeah! Green tea’s great! A piping hot cup of fresh brewed tea is seriously the best.”

While I’m emphatically not an expert on these things because I don’t drink either beverage, I would have pegged Kaito as more of a coffee person than a tea person. Maybe it’s just because tea is a lot more of a thing in Japan than coffee. Or he gets it from his grandparents.

Kaito: “But now that I think about it, you can’t drink fresh tea out in space, huh? It’s so obvious, I never even considered it… Well then! I’ll just enjoy it as much as I can on Earth!”

Oh no, what do you mean that going to space might be kind of harsh and empty of luxuries and not the best thing ever in every conceivable way!? He really has not wanted to consider any of the downsides of it at all. But at least he keeps a positive outlook about it now that he’s realised it, because he’s Kaito.

(Maybe Kaito likes tea so much that making himself a nice cuppa is one of the first things he does when he gets back to Earth… and then he promptly drops and breaks the cup because what is gravity.)

[Library]

- “Let’s study”

Kaito: “Yeah! In order to become an astronaut, you gotta study hard!”

Reminder: Kaito is not an idiot, and despite being kind of oblivious about certain things, is actually very book-smart!

Kaito: “Let’s start by studying language! And don’t let me hear you say you don’t need it.”

And it’s so him that this is the thing he wants to encourage Shuichi to study. Communication is vital in all walks of life, not just in being an astronaut!

Kaito: “There’s nothing unnecessary in this world!”

I still love this philosophy of his. Kaito is so good.

[Library]

- “Let’s look through photographs”

Kaito: “Photographs of the planets, huh?”

Yes, Kaito, Shuichi definitely meant this, he couldn’t possibly have been interested in any other kinds of photographs except those of SPACE.

Kaito: “When I think about actually being there and seeing them… I get the chills!”

THE ROCKET HAVING A WINDOW WAS VERY IMPORTANT

(not that he saw planets through it, but just being there and seeing it himself was so so worth it for any part of space)

Kaito: “Just you wait, planets! I, Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars, am gonna see you with my own two eyes!”

He’s such an optimistic dork. Just like with his bold claims to Kaede about how he’s going to meet aliens, this is probably not a thing that’ll happen within his lifetime. Maybe Mars, but not, like, multiple planets. But hey, let him dream!

[Courtyard]

- “Let’s relax in the sun”

Kaito: “It’s been a while since I was able to get some sun. Ever since I was a kid, I’d think about the universe while sunbathing.”

Oh, Kaito. He would turn sunbathing into an excuse to think about space, even though he can’t see the stars when the sun’s out.

Kaito: “But these days, I’ve been so busy with training, I haven’t had time to relax. Thanks to you, I remembered how important it is to relax sometimes!”

Yes, Kaito, it is important to rest sometimes and to not push yourself too hard. Of course that’s something he’d only think about when somebody else reminds him of it.

[Library]

- “I’m getting sleepy”

Kaito: “Yeah, it’s pretty quiet in here. But the silence of a library is nothing compared to the universe, y’know?”

Somehow, Kaito finds an excuse to make this about space, too. What a dork.

Kaito: “After all, the universe is just one big silent room. If you went up there, you’d probably be sleepy all the time.”

You’re… not doing a great job of making space sound inviting, Kaito. What happened to all the passion and adventure there’s supposed to be out there?

[A/V Room]

- Play dominoes with the movie boxes

Kaito: “I may not seem like it, but I’m pretty good at setting up dominoes! During astronaut training, we had to do dexterity exercises.”

More fun little tibits about the kind of skills astronauts have to learn!

Kaito: “I, Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars, will make a domino setup that will shock even you!”

But even so, it’s not the “Ultimate Astronaut” but rather the Luminary of the Stars who’s good at this, because he still much prefers the latter title for himself.

Also, the “even you” is interesting. Why would Shuichi in particular not usually be shocked by an epic domino setup? Does Kaito’s secret idolisation of Shuichi even extend to thinking he’d be inexplicably good at this? (Kaito’s secret idolisation of Shuichi shouldn’t even be nearly as much of a thing in this trial-less AU, though.)

[Dining Hall]

- “Let’s go in the freezer”

This is one of those very odd, why-would-Shuichi-ever-actually-suggest-this options. But it works on Kaito!

Kaito: “Did you know… In astronaut training, you have to be able to survive in subzero temperatures! If it’s a competition to see who can hold out the longest, I won’t lose!”

More astronaut training things! And of course Kaito would turn it into a competition. Though it is a bit much of him to think that Shuichi should do this even though he has no need to train in this particular dangerous way, but Shuichi did inexplicably suggest it, so, uh.

Kaito: “The loser has to say how many girls he’s had a crush on!”

…I don’t know about this line, though. While I don’t headcanon Kaito very strongly this way because there isn’t any actual evidence relevant to it like there is for Maki, I like to believe it could at least be possible for Kaito to be aromantic. This might just be me wanting to project onto him, admittedly, but the way he puts so much investment into his platonic relationships, including having an especially committed type of them in the hero-and-sidekick thing, is very enjoyably non-amatonormative of him. It just doesn’t feel right to me that Kaito would care that much about crushes – and, in particular, even less so that he would care about someone else’s crushes, which are really none of his business unless they choose to tell him about them. Peer pressuring Shuichi into admitting to anything of that nature when he might not be comfortable doing so really, really doesn’t seem to me like the kind of thing Kaito would do.

I don’t really have any actual evidence with which to argue that this is definitely out of character for Kaito, so this could just be me here – but it seems quite possible that this is an example of a line that kinda belongs in this next section.

The clueless intern

Remember that clueless intern last post who somehow ended up writing a handful of Kaito’s lines in the demo despite having only a very shallow grasp of his character that misses everything important about him? (That’s totally why those out-of-character parts in the demo happened, shush.) Well, apparently they were also given a few of his hangouts to write, as well. I feel it’s important to point out which few of these involve things that Kaito shouldn’t actually be saying.

[Gym]

- “Let’s play basketball”

Kaito: “You got guts to challenge me at basketball! Didn’t I tell you? My basketball skills are universe-tier.”

So why wasn’t Kaito in the basketball club in middle school? Because Ryoma needed to die, of course. (I suggested soccer as his alternate favourite sport in my Kaito-isn’t-into-tennis AU, but basketball, as another team sport, would make just as much sense.)

Kaito: “World-class athletes try to be my apprentice just to steal my skills.”

It’s potentially interesting to see him use the word “apprentice” here, when really that word would be a much more accurate and representative word for what he calls a “sidekick”. I guess in Kaito’s head, an apprentice is something totally different and only there to learn tangible skills such as this, without any kind of emotional support being involved? …Orrr the writer for this hangout just doesn’t know what they’re doing at all; that’s also possible.

Kaito: “But… my muscles are cramping, so I can’t really play basketball right now.”

See, I don’t like this. This whole thing was Kaito boasting about something he knows is not true with no intention of ever even trying to back it up, and making an excuse that is blatantly nothing but a lie. That is not remotely what Kaito is like, despite that he might seem that way at a glance. He may talk big, but the intent behind his words is always genuine, and for every instance in canon of him making what seems like an excuse to get out of backing up his words, it’s actually because he is literally sick and doesn’t want his sidekicks to know that. Meanwhile, this here seems like it was written by someone who knew almost nothing about Kaito’s character, briefly saw the part where he talks big, and interpreted it in the most superficial and typical way possible rather than actually understanding him at all.

[Dining Hall]

- “Let’s bake something”

Kaito: “Sorry, I’m not really in the mood for sweets. I need something… more manly. Something that’s gonna fill me up.”

This is the only actual time in the whole game, aside from the very first Misogyny Bullet that was also provably out of character, where Kaito talks about manliness in a way that seemingly is about stereotypically masculine things, if sweets apparently aren’t. This really isn’t his usual definition of the concept, and as such it also reads as out of character that he’d use that word here.

Kaito: “If you eat too many sweets, you’ll become a spoiled person.”

Still, at least he also has a more meaningful reason for not liking sweets much. Plus, you’d think that as an astronaut, he’d want to eat healthier stuff that’d keep his strength up.

(All this said, though, based on his gift preferences, Kaito does at least like ice cream.)

[Gym]

- “Ah, maybe we should take off our clothes?”

Another one that, what the hell, writers, Shuichi would be way too shy and awkward to actually suggest this even if he did secretly want to, this is blatantly just in there for some eyerolly shipbait. I would ignore this one entirely, but… we kinda need to talk about this.

Kaito: “Huh!? What are you talking about!? Save that stuff for the girls! Or wait, did you come out or something and not tell me!?”

Okay, so originally my plan for talking about this line was to say that I have no idea where the hell some people get the idea that Kaito is homophobic. This is the only line of his in the entire game that actually addresses the topic of homosexuality at all, and it’s apparently him being upset at the idea that Shuichi would have come out and not told him. His sidekick’s supposed to be able to tell him anything! He’d want Shuichi to trust him enough to be the first person he tells about something like this! Of course he’d be supportive about who Shuichi is!

…But the expression Kaito’s actually making for these lines is a kind-of-horrified face which definitely does not allow for that reading of it, and no, fuck off, fuck you, game, Kaito is better than this, he would be supportive of his sidekick, and of everyone, no matter what. This is Danganronpa’s occasionally-shitty writing temporarily affecting Kaito in a way that is not in character for him and I will hear nothing else.

See, okay, maybe I can accept Kaito having passively picked up bigotry like this through cultural osmosis as he was growing up (perhaps through his grandparents’ old-fashioned views, although people use his grandparents to justify Kaito’s supposed bigotry way too much when they should just be pointing out that it’s not actually in character for him to think that way at all as I’m about to do here and have done previously on the topic of misogyny). But that’s only a view Kaito would ever have in the background without really thinking about it. Kaito’s principles (his concept of manliness, even!) put a lot of focus on thinking for yourself and not just mindlessly going along with what other people think without deciding on your own if you agree with it. So as soon as a situation came along in which he actually consciously noticed his passive bigotry, Kaito would question why he even thinks that way and realise it’s wrong.

Remember, Kaito believes more strongly than anything that everyone is important and amazing and deserves to be the hero of their own story. He puts so much value in communication and co-operation between all different walks of life (he speaks English and Russian fluently and learned the cultures along with the languages), and even hopes for communication between humans and aliens if they exist out there. The moment Kaito were to consciously catch himself feeling inclined to think that some people apparently don’t deserve respect just because of something arbitrary about them that isn’t hurting anyone else, he would immediately stop, go “what the hell is wrong with me, that’s bullshit”, and work on training his brain to stop thinking that way at all. Kaito’s not perfect, but he’s always trying to be the best he can be, and this would be no exception. Anyone who thinks Kaito wouldn’t do this doesn’t properly appreciate his character, and that includes the writers of this game when they’re being like this.

[Library]

- “Let’s read a dirty book”

Another one that Shuichi shouldn’t actually have any in-character reason to pick, because he is evidently not this kind of person, remember when that was literally a vital plot point?

Kaito: “Hehe! Of course! It’s weird for guys to not look for those kinds of books in a library!”

The way Kaito phrases this… kind of almost suggests that he’s not actually doing this because he wants to, but just because peer pressure and society has made him think he’s supposed to want to. I’d like to say this is something the writers are deliberately trying to hint at, but that makes very little sense for Kaito in particular, because that’s not thinking for himself.

And if Kaito is supposed to genuinely believe that obviously all guys should be like this… then that’s also kind of gross and another thing I refuse to accept is actually in-character for Kaito to think. Shitty Danganronpa writing, leave Kaito alone.

Mentions of manliness

But anyway, let’s move on from those brief instances of out-universe bad writing and see some more examples of what Kaito’s concept of manliness actually means. He brings it up in a few of these hangouts, and all but that earlier one have a perfectly good understanding of it.

[Courtyard]

- “Let’s get some fresh air”

Kaito: “Yeah, it’s a hundred times better than the stale air inside. A man’s gotta be in a wide-open space, y’know? Staying indoors for too long will turn you into a narrow-minded person.”

Oh, look, Kaito explicitly does not want to be a narrow-minded person. Cough cough like not a sexist or a homophobe, cough! He even connects being open-minded to his concept of manliness, because of course this is along similar lines to that! Be true to yourself – and to do that, think for yourself!

Kaito: “That’s why I’m gonna go to the universe and be a universe-minded guy!”

Also, SPACE. But this actually makes a lot more sense than you might think – some astronauts have described something called the Overview Effect. It’s an overwhelming feeling they get when first seeing the Earth from space: the sense that all of the fights and prejudices and differences between humans down there are so insignificant in the grand scheme of how beautiful our planet is and how small we are in the vastness of space, and that we need to work together to protect our precious tiny blue dot. Did you know that astronauts are good? It’s not just Kaito; all astronauts are good.

[A/V Room]

- “We should focus on reality, not movies”

Kaito: “Right on! That’s my sidekick! A man should chase real passions, not sit around watching fake stuff!”

Since Kaito’s idea of being a man is all about being true to yourself, it follows that he’d also think a man should focus more on things that are real! At least, I guess, in terms of “chasing passions”, aka the things he wants to do with his life. We already know plenty about how much Kaito enjoys believing in fictional things like magic and kids’ games just because they’re fun.

Kaito: “Hell yeah! I’m fired up like crazy now! I’ll teach you all about the universe as I imagine it!”

Kaito. Buddy. The universe as you imagine it is not reality either. You dork.

[Courtyard]

- “Let’s go back inside”

Kaito: “Huh? Why’d you pick this place if you were just gonna go back? It’s not manly to keep changing your mind like that!”

Be sure of yourself! Only decide on something if you know you’re going to stick to it, and if you do change your mind after that, it should be for a good reason!

[Dining Hall]

- Sleeping after a meal

Kaito: “Yeah, you get it! As expected from my sidekick! They say sleeping after eating makes you fat, but you can’t fight instinct!”

Oh, dear. According to Ryoma’s comments on this same option (and you’d think he’d know better than Kaito), sleeping after eating is indeed unhealthy. But Kaito tells himself it’s a good thing to do anyway because it’s what he feels like he wants to do. And he’s happy that Shuichi agrees with him on this, even though it’s not actually a good thing to agree with him on.

Kaito: “And now that I said that… I’m feeling sleepy myself… Alright! I’m gonna listen to my instincts and sleep like a man!”

Sounds ridiculous, but actually a correct use of Kaito’s concept of manliness! He’s listening to what his body wants him to do, which totally means he’s being true to himself, right? …Even though in this instance he apparently shouldn’t be.

Exercise and training

This being Kaito, the options suggesting some kind of exercise are some of his favourites. Well… usually.

[Dining Hall]

- Exercising after a meal

Kaito: “I know that’s best, but don’t you get sleepy after you eat?”

Apparently Kaito is perfectly aware that it’s a bad habit of his to sleep after meals. Come on, Kaito, if you know it’s bad, you should be trying to break that habit, instead of justifying it to yourself because it can technically be argued to be manliness!

This hangout is one of the bad-outcome ones, and maybe the reason why is just that Kaito apparently really wanted to be validated by not being the only one with this bad habit.

Kaito: “I guess even though you’re my sidekick, we’re pretty different sometimes…”

But… it seems like it might just be the more general thought that he’s different from Shuichi that’s bothering Kaito here, as if he’s worried Shuichi might be less inclined to be his friend if he felt Kaito was too different from him. (Hold this thought – there’ll be more along these lines in the next post.) Being different doesn’t stop you from being friends, though, Kaito! He and Shuichi are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but that’s what makes them such a good team, because they complement each others’ weaknesses so well.

[Gym]

- “Let’s warm up a bit”

Kaito: “Yeah, it’d suck if I got injured and had to give up on being an astronaut. Let’s work on our warm ups, then. Oh, hold on. Is it possible to get injured doing warm ups? If that’s the case, then we better do some pre-warm up warm ups.”

Kaito… does not seem to be all that knowledgeable about how physical training actually works. (See also: his totally very “systematic method” for his sidekicks’ training.) Maybe he really should watch that documentary about athletes. Or sit down with Ryoma and learn a thing or two from him… except, ha ha, that’s not going to happen very easily now is it.

(…Not that I know any better myself whether Kaito’s right to be worried here. I may do daily exercise now thanks to Kaito, but I also have a very systematic method for it, which is of course to say that I don’t and have no idea what I’m doing.)

You’d think Kaito should know this stuff, but, well, maybe his in-universe writers were slacking off while giving him memories of the physical part of astronaut training. Which should have been a difficult mistake to make when you consider that Team Danganronpa must have this character-creation thing down to a science by now and that sport-based talents are very common. They should have a standard “general athlete knowledge base” section of Flashback Light data that they put into every sporty character’s Flashback Light, which should have included Kaito; they’re clearly aware that astronauts train just as much as athletes since they gave him knowledge of that fact. But apparently someone was sleeping on the job.

[Courtyard]

- “Let’s dance!”

Kaito: “Huh? Dance with you? Why? It’s not like I don’t want to, but… Well, whatever! If you’re suggesting it, I’m sure you’ve got a good reason!”

Let’s pretend Shuichi was suggesting this as a different kind of exercise, even though Kaito should probably have realised that’s why and have said so and been on board with it for that specific reason. Kaito should enjoy dancing in particular, too, because it’s all about expressing yourself!

(Honestly, the lack of Shuichi having any of his own dialogue in these past the initial options, leaving the hangout partner essentially just talking to thin air, is kind of awkward sometimes.)

[Gym]

- “Let’s do some muscle training”

The obviously correct choice for when you are in a gym with Kaito!

Kaito: “Alright! Let’s do 500 push-ups! We’re gonna go non-stop, so get ready!”

That is a big number. I can maybe imagine reaching 500 with a lot of breaks to rest – like, a lot – but non-stop? Yikes. Especially for Shuichi, who’s still new to this.

Kaito: “Huh? That’s too many? 500 should be a piece of cake for my sidekick! Don’t complain, just do it!”

But of course Kaito pushes Shuichi into at least trying anyway.

Kaito: “The impossible is possible! All you gotta do is make it so!”

Ayyyy! He still wants this to be known even in the bonus mode. If Shuichi believes 500 non-stop push-ups are possible, he’s a lot more likely to be able to do it than if he’s already written it off as impossible, after all!

…I doubt Shuichi managed to get anywhere close to 500. But then, I also doubt that Kaito did either, so after they both inevitably collapsed in exhaustion, they probably agreed to get there more slowly with breaks after all.

(If Maki were here too, though, she could totally do 500 non-stop without breaking a sweat.)

[Courtyard]

- “Let’s go for a run”

Kaito: “Yeah, sounds good! I haven’t been able to do my daily training since we came here.”

Surely he has been doing his daily training since he started training Shuichi under whatever circumstances kicked that off in this AU? Ugggh this AU and its lack of a proper contextual story for any of this.

Kaito: “Let’s run like we’re chasing our pasts!”

Usually when Kaito has a line that appears kind of ridiculous and there-to-sound-cool, there is actually some kind of meaningful substance to it that makes sense in his head. But I’m not sure what he could mean with this one here. Kaito’s generally more about people putting their pasts behind them and looking to the future, after all.

Kaito: “Detectives need stamina too, right?”

Well, they do if they’re going to be having cases that involve things like capturing alligators, apparently. (Man, Shuichi should tell Kaito about that case. He’d enjoy a story like that, no doubt.)

Principles and advice

Some of these hangouts lead to Kaito showing his delightful principles about keeping a positive outlook on things. (This is partly because quite a few of the obvious-bad-hangout-partner options involve Shuichi grumpily complaining for no good reason, which Kaito would obviously take issue with.)

[A/V Room]

- Watch a comedy movie

Kaito: “Movies like this are great for turning your mood around. When you’re down, all you gotta do is let out a laugh and everything’s good!”

It’s interesting that Kaito apparently likes comedy movies not exactly for their own sake, but rather because they’re good for cheering you up. What Kaito has just implied here (definitely without having meant to) is that he can in fact feel down sometimes and has found that things like this work for pulling him out of it.

Kaito: “If you’re down all the time, then your dreams might get away from you!”

After all, you shouldn’t just wallow in your sadness when you could be doing whatever you can to stay positive!

[Gym]

- “Let’s train… our minds…”

Kaito: “Yeah! It’s got nothing to do with exercising, but your mind’s important!”

Of course Kaito thinks this! Although, what does he mean it’s got nothing to do with exercising? The whole point of him getting his sidekicks to exercise is to help with their mental health!

Kaito: “If you can’t visualize your goals, you’ll never be able to achieve them.”

If you can’t believe the impossible is possible, you’ll never be able to make it so!

Kaito: “That’s just what I’d expect from my sidekick! You get what’s important!”

Aww, he’s so happy that his sidekick already understands the type of mindset he likes to advocate.

(Fun irrelevant fact: I had Kaito use the sentence “You get what’s important!” in a piece of extremely silly Kaito content on my main blog just because it sounded like the kind of thing he might say, while not remembering at the time that he says that exact sentence in the actual game. I was quite amused when I saw this line again.)

[A/V Room]

- “I might fall asleep…”

Kaito: “Well, sure. If you grab some boring movie or something. But if you decide that’s gonna happen from the start, then it probably will. If you always expect the worst, then you’ll always get the worst!”

Kaito’s philosophy is just so good. He always encourages people to try and have a positive outlook, not just because it’ll help them feel better, but because it actually matters to what they’ll be able to achieve. You have to believe the impossible is possible before you’ll ever be able to make it so!

[Library]

- “This is boring…”

(This is another one that doesn’t make any sense for Shuichi to say. He likes novels; he would not be bored in a library.)

Kaito: “Really? There are so many books here, there’s gotta be some that interest you. Before you start complaining, try looking around a bit more.”

Don’t just pointlessly complain when there’s something you could be doing to make things better! Don’t give up before you’ve even tried!

[Library]

- “Sure is dusty in here”

Kaito: “Yeah, but instead of complaining, you should do something about it. If you’re gonna be my sidekick, then you gotta know that much.”

I like that this one isn’t just Kaito’s don’t-complain principle, but is also him asserting that any sidekick of his should already know about this principle of his and be trying to follow that advice. People only become Kaito’s sidekicks once they’ve made the choice to try and change themselves and make their situation better, after all. His principles about not complaining when you could be doing something are basically the same idea as that.

[Gym]

- “I’m tired…”

Kaito: “Huh? You haven’t even done anything yet. If you keep talking like that, I won’t hold back, even if you are my sidekick!”

This is presumably more of Kaito’s don’t-complain principle going on here, except this time he’s not even mentioning the principle itself and is just assuming his sidekick should know better and being annoyed that he’s still complaining anyway.

I should note, though, that if Shuichi complained about being tired in a different context, Kaito would definitely take it very differently and see it as a sign that something’s wrong with him and offer help like always. But in this context, in which Shuichi has just invited him to hang out in the gym and then immediately gone “oh but I’m tired” before they’ve even done anything, it does just come across like he’s being lazy and flaky and doesn’t actually want to exercise, in which case why even come here if you’re only going to complain?

Somewhat relevant to this is Kaito’s stock dialogue when a hangout has the worst possible outcome, which the above hangout is one example of.

[Worst outcome]

Kaito: “C’mon, man… Don’t go forgetting a sidekick’s responsibilities. I’m heading back…”

He expected his sidekick to know better than to change his mind and complain for no reason like this! A sidekick doesn’t have nearly as many responsibilities as the hero does, but Kaito does expect them to understand some of the most frequent advice he gives and be making at least an effort to follow it. To be his sidekick, they’ve got to be trying to change.

There are literally only four hangouts that have a “worst” outcome for Kaito, so it’s really not often at all that Kaito gives this response that implies that he’s disappointed in Shuichi like this. One of the others is the one from the manliness section where Shuichi wanted to go back inside as soon as they’d gone to the courtyard, which is a similar thing of changing his mind and complaining about the decision he literally just made – the kind of thing that Kaito already expected his sidekick to know better than to do.

(Another of the worst outcomes was Shuichi suggesting a horror movie – that one’s not at all Shuichi’s fault and has nothing to do with Kaito’s principles, but I can understand Kaito getting upset enough about it that he somewhat forgets himself in his reaction to it. The fourth one is one that’s coming up later.)

Heroes and sidekicks

My favourite category! Time for some hangouts that hint at Kaito’s issues about heroes and sidekicks, either in a general sense or specifically in regards to his relationship with Shuichi.

First, though, Kaito’s response when a hangout has only a bad-but-not-worst outcome is relevant to this topic as well. As I mentioned, the worst outcome is very rare – most of the time, if he doesn’t have a good time, he’ll just say this:

[Bad outcome]

Kaito: “Are you tired or something? If you’re not feeling well, just rest. My sidekick’s fatigue is my fatigue. I’m… gonna head back first.”

Obviously, it’s not that the hangout made Kaito feel bad or anything. It’s just that apparently Shuichi looks tired, and Kaito’s looking out for his sidekick by suggesting he should go back and rest! And then it’s totally just a coincidence that Kaito heads back first.

(“I’ve projected my own fatigue onto you in order to hide the fact that I’m the one feeling tired” sure is one way for the phrase “my sidekick’s fatigue is my fatigue” to technically be true.)

On some level this could be Kaito trying to hide the fact that Shuichi showed him a bad time so as to not make Shuichi feel guilty for being a bad host – after all, it’s only very rarely that he gives the worst-outcome dialogue that makes it seem like Shuichi did anything wrong. I feel like if that was the only issue, though, Kaito would be more open about it and just say something like ��I didn’t have a great time, but hey, it’s not your fault, don’t worry about it, I’m still up for hanging out with you again”. But that would still be Kaito all but admitting that something actually made him feel down at all. Which is obviously not a thing that ever happens to Kaito, right?

[A/V Room]

- Watch an action movie

Kaito: “Action movies are fun cuz you don’t have to think too hard to enjoy them.”

…Because they tend to just have the heroes winning by saving the day in cool ways and being uncomplicatedly awesome?

It is such a delightfully relevant detail that Kaito prefers his fiction simple. If he appreciated more nuanced fiction, if his favourite kinds of stories were instead the ones where the hero’s character is more of a focus and you watch him go through hardships and struggle and grow and still manage to be a hero in the end anyway, then things in canon would have been very, very different.

Kaito: “And there’s a bunch of ‘em that use the universe as their stage!”

Of course, this is an even better reason to like action movies: because SPACE.

(The writers could so easily have had this hangout be nothing but Kaito taking the excuse to talk about space movies, and nothing would have seemed amiss. But they put that first comment he made in there too. I love Kaito’s writers so much.)

Kaito: “Alright! I’m gonna tell you all about my favorites! You ready to take notes!?”

And then… they don’t even watch any space action movies, it just turns into Kaito excitedly telling Shuichi all about his favourite ones. What a dork.

(At least, if Shuichi really did take notes, he can use that list when they’re living a normal life on the outside and he suggests a space movie marathon with Kaito on the 31st of October for no particular reason.)

[Library]

- “Let’s read manga

Kaito: “Adventure manga are the best! They’ve got so much passion in them!”

Heh, of course Kaito’s favourite genre of manga would be that.

Kaito: “You should read all the famous adventure manga, Shuichi! Since we’re pals, it’d be great to read through some together.”

And then it’s cute that he wants to bring Shuichi into this thing he’s interested in, too! Shuichi does like novels, so while maybe he doesn’t usually read much manga, he should still be able to enjoy them! It makes me happy to think of them doing regular kinda-nerdy friend things together like this. Kaito even referred to them as “pals” and not “hero and sidekick”, which is very rare for him!

(I’m imagining, as they read through one of Kaito’s favourite manga, that Shuichi with his more nuanced appreciation of fiction comments that the hero isn’t very interesting because he keeps winning too easily without much effort. And Kaito is internally all “???????? He seems like a perfectly good hero to me??? Why does Shuichi think he’s supposed to be struggling?”)

[Dining Hall]

- “Let’s cook something”

Kaito: “Oh? You can cook, Shuichi? That means I can cook too! My sidekick’s skills are my skills, and my skills are my sidekick’s skills!”

Uhhhh Kaito that’s not how this works. “Your X is my X, my X is your X” definitely does not apply to this. Does that also mean that Shuichi can speak fluent English and Russian and pilot a spaceship?

Being happy that your friend can cook because then you can enjoy his food whenever he feels up to making something is one thing, but this is not quite how you express that, you dork.

(Ask him to teach you, Kaito! It’d be a fun thing to learn, just like how to build a crossbow!)

[Dining Hall]

- “Let’s drink something”

Kaito: “H-How did you know I was thirsty? Insight like that is just what I’d expect from the Ultimate Detective.”

Really? Because insight about the way someone’s feeling is really more the kind of thing that one would expect from you, Kaito.

Kaito: “Or maybe… it was your sidekick powers that tipped you off! If that’s the case, then I’m proud to have such a great sidekick!”

What does “sidekick powers” even mean? …Perhaps it’s Kaito-speak for Shuichi being such a great friend that he can pick up on his friend’s needs. But even if that’s what he means, Kaito has to word it in a way that’s about Shuichi being his sidekick, because he very rarely actually refers to Shuichi as his “friend”.

…The third and by far most likely option, of course, is that it’s pure dumb luck and Shuichi just happened to want a drink himself without realising Kaito did too. But Kaito has to go and make this about the sidekick thing and use it as an excuse to shower praise onto Shuichi like the encouraging hero he is. He’s such a dork.

[Gym]

- “I’ll be the referee”

Kaito: “Huh? If you’re the referee, does that mean I’ll just be exercising by myself?”

Saying you’ll be the referee is probably supposed to be interpreted as the lazy way out of having to do any exercise yourself. But somehow Kaito doesn’t take it that way and admonish Shuichi for not wanting to train.

Kaito: “Haha! So the sidekick wants to see the hero’s full potential? Then why didn’t you say so!? I’ll show you everything I got!”

Because he takes it this way instead. Obviously Shuichi wants to see how awesome the hero is! Being the most awesome so that he can set an example and inspire his sidekicks to try and reach his heights is exactly what a hero is supposed to do!

I love the “why didn’t you say so?”, implying that this really is not at all why Shuichi suggested this, yet Kaito is automatically assuming it is because that’s definitely how heroes and sidekicks work.

[Dining Hall]

- “Let’s have some tea”

Kaito: “Yeah, let’s grab some tea and have a heart-to-heart.”

Yes, this is totally going to be a two-directional outpouring of emotions and issues here.

Kaito: “Don’t you keep any secrets from me! Sidekicks and heroes shouldn’t have secrets between them, y’know?”

Oh, Kaito, you wonderful hypocrite.

It is a little surprising that he’s so adamant that Shuichi shouldn’t be keeping anything at all from him, since he advocated during trial 3 that people are always going to have some secrets and that doesn’t mean they’re keeping them out of malice. But I suppose since Shuichi is his sidekick, the whole point is that Shuichi is supposed to trust him with anything and everything, and if there was something Shuichi wasn’t willing to talk to him about, it’d mean Kaito’s not being a good enough hero.

And obviously, as the hero, Kaito definitely also trusts Shuichi with everything that’s going on in his head, right? Definitely.

[Library]

- “I want to scream really loud!”

Kaito: “Huh? That’s not like you, Shuichi. You’re not the type to be rude like that. You don’t gotta force yourself, y’know?”

Pfft, look at Kaito pointing out for us that this is one of the out-of-character options for Shuichi. It’s kind of a shame that he doesn’t take this further like he does for some others that we’re about to see.

[Dining Hall]

- “Let’s try fasting”

Kaito: “What!? If you do that, you’ll die for sure!”

…I feel like this might be an odd translation thing, because fasting is obviously not something that kills people. Kaito is open to other cultures enough that he should perfectly well know this.

Kaito: “Do you have a fever? Don’t push yourself, alright?”

Yeah, if you’re sick, you shouldn’t push yourself, Kaito.

(…It’s not clear whether or not Kaito actually has the virus in this AU, because that would depend on whether Team Danganronpa changed their minds about doing the killing game before or after infecting him with it. But even if he does, his symptoms wouldn’t quite get far enough along for him to realise he’s dying within the ten days this takes place. And since he’s going to get out of here in ten days, that’s plenty of time to get himself to a hospital once he’s outside, so he’d be fine.)

Kaito: “If you’re not feeling well, it’s because of my poor management.”

It is very Kaito that he turns this into assuming something must be wrong if Shuichi is inexplicably suggesting something like this, and so he starts worrying about him. It’s also very painfully Kaito that he’s blaming himself for it – he considers himself thoroughly responsible for his sidekicks’ wellbeing, and so if something’s wrong, it must be his fault somehow for not being a good enough hero, right?

[Gym]

- “Let’s burn this place to the ground”

Another “what the hell, Shuichi?” option. But this one Kaito takes quite seriously.

Kaito: “What? Hey, c’mon, that’s not you, man. What’s wrong?”

Which is to say, he immediately takes it as a sign that something wrong with Shuichi, because Kaito is good and always concerned about his sidekick’s wellbeing. If Shuichi actually did ever suggest this, it probably would be because he’s very upset about something.

Kaito: “If something’s wrong, all you gotta do is talk to me about it. If it’s something you won’t talk to me about, then there’s nothing I can do…”

And I love that this then turns into Kaito being really worried that there might be a problem that Shuichi won’t talk to him about, which would mean he’d be powerless to fix it. He can’t bear the idea of not being able to help, especially not when it’s his sidekick, whom he’s always supposed to be able to help.

(It’s almost like someone not talking about their issues and therefore being impossible to help is precisely the problem with you, Kaito! But of course that’s not an analogous problem, Kaito’s the hero so he’s not supposed to need help, what are you talking about.)

Unfortunately, since this is a “what the hell, Shuichi” option, and since Shuichi gets no further lines in these, there’s not really anything that’s actually wrong with him and so we can’t further explore this idea of Kaito feeling like he’s unable to help his sidekick. It’s just a fun look at how the possibility of being powerless like that is something he’s really scared of.

(The wiki says this option is a worst outcome, which would be an extra sign of just how awful Kaito feels about this… but the wiki is wrong and this is actually only a bad outcome. The worst outcome dialogue, about Shuichi forgetting “a sidekick’s responsibilities”, could sort of work here – one of his sidekick’s responsibilities is to tell him whenever something’s wrong, isn’t it? But on the other hand, this hangout lingers on the note of Kaito feeling helpless to support Shuichi, which is not a state of mind in which he would want to blame Shuichi for anything. Meanwhile, the “you’re totally the one feeling tired, right, and there’s nothing at all wrong with me” bad-outcome dialogue is perfect for this situation. So maybe this is why this is nominally only a “bad” outcome even though it would definitely be making Kaito feel more awful than any of the “worst” ones do. I am totally not overthinking this.)

[Courtyard]

- “I want to get outside as soon as I can”

Kaito: “Well, that’s obvious. What’s really on your mind, man? If there’s something you’re worried about, just talk to me.”

Here’s some more Kaito delightfully deciding that Shuichi must clearly have a different problem to this that’s what he really wants to talk about. Perhaps the reason he decides that is because the problem of getting out of here isn’t something Kaito can actually help with other than being positive about it, so he wants to turn the conversation onto something he can help with.

Kaito: “Your worry is my worry! My worry is your worry!”

Hee. He only says this once in canon, but I love that it’s here again. It is still so delightfully hypocritical.

Kaito: “If I can ease your worries, mine will be eased too!”

This is extremely true and accurate, though. A lot more literally so than it would be for most friends who support each other, because almost all of Kaito’s own worries revolve around whether he’s able to help Shuichi with his. The best way for Kaito to feel better really is for him to know that Shuichi is okay and that he helped Shuichi be okay. The counterpoint to this, of course, is that if Kaito feels like he can’t ease Shuichi’s worries, then his own will only get worse.

In fact, this basically proves that when Kaito says “My worry is your worry,” he really is just thinking of it as another way of wording “Your worry is my worry”. He’s saying that what he worries about the most is how to help with whatever’s bothering Shuichi. That line is not and never was Kaito trying to actually claim that he’d be happy to share if he had problems of his own.

And even when Kaito does have worries entirely of his own, like when he’s dying in canon, the feeling of being able to support Shuichi means so much to him that it at least manages to distract him from his own worries and therefore sort of ease them in a sense. Though what that really ends up doing is making Kaito increasingly convinced that his own worries are insignificant next to Shuichi’s, which is incredibly not healthy and part of the reason he died.

Being stuck here

And finally, to finish off this post, a few of the hangouts actually reference the vague semblance of a “story” we’ve got going on by mentioning the fact that they’re trapped in here.

[Gym]

- “Let’s renovate the place”

Kaito: “What, you wanna make this place more comfortable or something? What if you start liking it here? Weren’t we gonna work together and escape this academy?”

It’s neat how Kaito makes this about escaping and warns Shuichi not to get too attached to this place.

I guess by “work together” to escape, given the context, Kaito’s specifically talking about how they’re working towards escaping by hanging out and becoming close enough friends with each other? (let’s keep pretending Monokuma mentioned platonic relationships at all, shush)

[Courtyard]

- “I’ve gotten used to being here”

Kaito: “Yeah, me too. But that doesn’t change the fact that I wanna escape!”

Despite the previous one that had Kaito asserting it’d be bad for Shuichi to get used to being here, in this one he’s willing to acknowledge that he’s done that too, even though he doesn’t like it.

Kaito: “Life is short! I don’t have time to waste loafing around here.”

did you know Kaito’s parents died

Kaito: “Don’t get complacent! If you start to enjoy a place like this, then you’ll never find new horizons!”

Here’s more of Kaito just having a generally Good outlook on life. People shouldn’t be telling themselves they’re okay with a situation that isn’t what they really want (just like Maki was doing before she met him), because then they’ll get stuck in that rut and never be able to get themselves out of it! And so, even though he is finding himself getting used to this place, Kaito’s determined not to let that stop him from wanting to move on and not look back once they get out of here.

[Courtyard]

- “What a great view…”

Kaito: “Really? I don’t think so. I mean, I’m the guy who’s gonna fly off into the universe. I can’t be content with a view like this. I gotta see bigger and better things!”

I’m going to assume this is meant as basically an extension of the idea that Kaito doesn’t want them to get used to being stuck here and not try to escape; the view from the Academy isn’t anything particularly special, after all. Because it’d be sad if Kaito wasn’t able to let himself enjoy some of the prettier views on Earth just because they’re not space. You can still enjoy a thing even if you know there’s an even better thing out there! Kaito is definitely the kind of person who should be able to understand that. There’s nothing unnecessary in this world!

(but also have I mentioned how very important it is that the rocket had a window)

[Courtyard]

- “Staying here forever wouldn’t be so bad”

Kaito: “Huh!? What the hell are you talking about!? No way we’re staying here forever! Even if you are my sidekick, I won’t let you off the hook for saying that!”

This one reads to me less like Kaito’s trying to encourage Shuichi to be less defeatist and more like Kaito is angry on his own behalf. It’s almost as if Shuichi is trying to tell him to give up on getting out of here. Hey, Kaito, what’s so great about space anyway? Maybe you should just never go there after all.

(This is the last of the rare absolute worst outcomes. Kaito does not approve of having this idea suggested to him, and his sidekick should obviously have known better than to try and make him be okay with giving up like this.)

And while you might think Kaito is so optimistic that the thought of staying here forever would never have even occurred to him, it is a thought that’s been plaguing him, even though he’d never admit it out loud. More on that next time when we reach the main event here.

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #ndrv3 #bonus content #salmon team #commentary

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