#i could import them yeah but its Annoying and Extra Work
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how can anyone do funny little comics digitally i start drawing anything digitally and its like pulling teeth
#well. anything that isnt a candid shot i suppose#sketching out comics/things with multiple panels is much easier on paper..... but i wish i was able to do them digitally#i could import them yeah but its Annoying and Extra Work
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Tolerate It
Inspired by 'Tolerate It' by Taylor Swift :)
"I know my love should be celebrated... but you tolerate it."
Quite frankly, Y/N isn’t sure how much longer she can take this. It’s the second time this week Harry hasn’t been home for dinner and it’s only Wednesday. Y/N is normally fine looking after baby Elle by herself, she knows Harry has important things to do and people to meet and deals to close its just… lately he’s been different. More withdrawn, constantly at work and seemingly finding less and less time to spend with his wife and 6 month old daughter. That morning he had left in a whirlwind, pressing a quick, barely there kiss to her cheek before promising to be home for dinner at 7.
Y/N swirls what’s left in her wine glass as she glances over at the clock that reads 9:14. He’d be out for a while yet, she knew. Sighing, she puts his plate in the fridge, washing the dishes before getting ready for bed, popping into check on Elle. She smiles softly at the rise and fall of her daughter’s chest as she sleeps, leaning down and kissing her head then moving away from the crib and towards her own bedroom. It’s Y/N and Harry’s shared room but Y/N can’t remember the last time she actually woke up to Harry still in the room. Or the last time she fell asleep with him beside her.
Y/N intends to wait up for her husband but when her eyes flutter closed she can’t seem to stop them. They open after what only feels like minutes later when the bed dips on Harry’s side. She blinks sleepily, watching him slide into bed and prop himself up against the pillows, reading with his head low. She shuffles, catching his attention and when he meets her gaze, she smiles tiredly up at him.
“Hey. Thought you were going to be home for dinner?”
“Things got busy. Ate at the office.” He turns his attention back to the book he’s reading and Y/N’s smile droops.
“You could have called. I waited for you.”
Harry scoffs at her confession, rolling his eyes.
“Y/N I don’t have time to give you a call every time I’m going to be a bit late coming home. Get off my case, it’s fucking annoying.” His voice rises slightly in volume as he gets frustrated, but not loud enough to wake Elle in the next room.
“I’m not trying to be annoying H. I’m just saying that I missed you today and as your wife it would just be nice if you could let me know.” Y/N sighs, rolling over, her back to him as she tries to go back to sleep. Her breath hitches as she feels Harry come closer to her, kissing her shoulder before burying his face in her neck.
“Sorry my love, I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just really caught up lately.”
“I know you are.” Y/N tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach as he sponges kisses on her neck, shoulders and then slowly down her arm.
“Tomorrow. Take Elle to my mum’s and I’ll be home around 5. Let’s make it a date night, just us.” At this, Y/N turns to face him, a small grin on her face.
“Yeah? Just us?”
“Just us bub. Promise I’ll be home in time and I’m all yours.”
~
Y/N believes him. So, she does what Harry says. Take’s Elle over to Anne’s around midday, the older woman over the moon to spend some extra time with her granddaughter. Around 2, her best friend makes a surprise visit to the house, finding Y/N slaving away in the kitchen.
“Are you cooking for 12?” Lucy laughs as Y/N rushes around putting finishing touches on what seems to be a ten course meal.
“No… just Harry and I. But I’m making all his favourites. I want tonight to be special for us. He’s been so busy with work lately.”
“What are you wearing?” Lucy smirks at Y/N who simply blushes.
“It’s on the bed.” She says referring to the lacy white lingerie set that Harry had bought her for their first anniversary. Lucy wolf whistles, causing Y/N to turn even redder.
“Lucky husband, that Harry of yours. Now hurry up and finish so we can have a glass of wine before he gets here and I have to go.”
Y/N grabs a bottle and the two women sit and chat for a few hours before Y/N realises it’s 10 to 5 and she needs to go and change. She kicks Lucy out as politely as possible before getting ready and waiting for Harry.
The clock ticks over to 5:00pm. Then 5:01pm. Then 5:20pm.
At 5:30pm, she calls. His phone is off.
At 6:00pm, she finishes a second bottle of wine, and then she calls again. His phone is still off.
At 6:17pm, Lucy sends her a link to an article and Y/N feels the sudden urge to throw up. Because the article is about Harry and the headline reads: Trouble in Paradise? Styles and Co CEO Harry Styles seen partying on a yacht with ex Kendall Jenner, just months after celebrating his third wedding anniversary and welcoming daughter Elle Styles.
The photos are incriminating. Kendall’s face in his neck, his hands around her waist. Kendall getting into a cab, leading Harry behind her.
Lucy calls. Y/N doesn’t answer.
At 8:15pm, Y/N picks herself up off the floor, goes upstairs, grabs a bag throws essential things inside for her and Elle and gets her keys.
That’s when the door opens and her husband walks, stumbles, through the front door.
“Sorry I’m late. Something smells good.” Harry’s words have a slight slur to them, she knows he’s been drinking but she can’t bring herself to care. He steps closer and she wrinkles her nose.
“You smell like her.” Y/N comments, willing herself not to cry.
“Who? Kendall?” Harry is suddenly ten times more alert, worry evident on his face.
“Nothing happened Y/N.” “Sure didn’t look like nothing. In fact the photos were… quite something.”
“Love… I don’t- I put her in a cab and she went home. It was supposed to be a quick meeting and then it turned into a yacht event and I know you wanted me home earlier but I-”
“This isn’t about me wanting you home earlier Harry. I wanted this night for us. Because we’re drifting apart and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“You’re being dramatic, I’ve just been busy.”
“You’ve been “busy” for 4 months Harry. Are you not in love with me anymore?” Y/N’s voice trembles but she holds his gaze. Harry feels his heart drop into the floor.
“…What?”
“Tell me it’s all in my head. Tell me I’m wrong.”
“Y/N calm down. You’re acting insane, of course I love you.”
“Harry, you make me feel annoying when all I want is for you to love me back as much as I love you! You just sit there and you… you just tolerate me. And I don’t deserve that. I sit here in this stupid mansion you bought for us with our daughter who probably doesn’t even know that you’re her father because you’re never around. I just sit here and I wait with Elle. For you to come home to me, for you to tell me you need me as much as I need you. And I don’t think I can do it anymore.” She pushes past him to the garage and he grabs her wrist gently. “Y/N. Baby where are you going?”
“Bit late for the pet names H. Don’t you think?” She scoffs.
“I need space. Come find Elle and I if you think you’re going to be able to show up for us, because I don’t feel the need to explain to our daughter why she doesn’t have a fucking dad.”
Harry steps back, looking at her helplessly as her words cut him deep.
“Bye Harry.”
Read Part II here
Tags:
@lukesaprince @harryspirate @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @lilyrmason12 @styleslover-1994 @stylesfever @kathb59 @indierockgirrl @bxbyysstuff @gills-lounge
#harry styles#hslot#love on tour#harry styles au#harrystyles#harry styles fic#harry styles fics#harry styles smut#harry styles x fem!reader#harry styles ceo
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How to Deal with Windows 10/11 Nonsense
This is more for my own reference to keep all of this on one post. But hopefully others will find this useful too! So yeah, as the title says, this is a to organize links and resources related to handling/removing nonsense from Windows 10 and Windows 11. Especially bloatware and stuff like that Copilot AI thing.
First and foremost, there's O&O Software's ShutUp10++ (an antispy tool that help give you more control over Windows settings) and App Buster (helps remove bloatware and manage applications). I've used these myself for Windows 10 and they work great, and the developers have stated that these should work with Windows 11 too!
10AppsManager is another bloatware/app management tool, though at the moment it seems to only work on Windows 10.
Winaero Tweaker, similar to ShupUp10++ in that it gives you more control over Windows to disable some of the more annoying settings, such as disabling web search from the taskbar/start menu and disabling ads/tips/suggestions in different parts of the OS. I think ShupUp10++ covers the same options as this one, but I'm not entirely sure.
OpenShell, helps simplify the Start Menu and make it look more like the classic start menu from older versions of Windows. Should work with both 10 and 11 according to the readme.
Notes on how to remove that one horrible AI spying snapshots feature that's being rolled out on Windows 11 right now.
Article on how to remove Copilot (an AI assistant) from Windows 11.
Win11Debloat, a simple script that can be used to automatically remove pretty much all of the bullshit from both 10 and 11, though a lot of its features are focused on fixing Windows 11 in particular (hence the name). Also has options you can set to pick and choose what changes you want!
Article on how to set up Windows 11 with a local account on a new computer, instead of having to log in with a Microsoft account. To me, this is especially important because I much prefer having a local account than let Microsoft have access to my stuff via a cloud account. Also note this article and this article for more or less the same process.
I will add to this as I find more resources. I'm hoping to avoid Windows 11 for as long as possible, and I've already been used the O&O apps to keep Windows 10 trimmed down and controlled. But if all else fails and I have to use Windows 11 on a new computer, then I plan to be as prepared as possible.
Edit 11/1/2024: Two extra things I wanted to add onto here.
A recommended Linux distro for people who want to use Linux instead of Windows.
How to run a Windows app on Linux, using Wine. Note that this will not work for every app out there, though a lot of people out there are working on testing different apps and figuring out how to get them to work in Wine.
The main app I use to help with my art (specifically for 3D models to make references when I need it) is Windows only. If I could get it to work on Linux, it would give me no reason to use Windows outside of my work computer tbh (which is a company laptop anyways).
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-a/n- this is the barista!reader mall security!mike I was talking about. There will probably multiple parts if it’s enjoyed enough. I may cross post to ao3 at some point. It’s not proof read so bear with me.
Mike hadn’t been working at the mall long when he first came up to the coffee shop you worked at. You were only working there because the last job you had didn’t line out exactly how you wanted it to. Waitressing was different than coffee. Waitressing was more taxing mentally for you. The people getting angry with your service and then tipping you terribly instead of speaking up was annoying and you hated your income depending on how much of a people pleaser you were.
His coffee order was simple, black americano. Espresso and water. Personally you would take the espresso shots over the watered down version. The man before you looked like he needed the coffee. His eyes had dark bags under them. His hair was messy, as if he rolled out of bed to come to work. You could admire that. You had your fair share of days that required you to roll out of bed early with no regards to how you looked to come get the shop open in time for customers to have morning coffee. In fact you’d just had one of those days not too long ago.
He was wearing his security uniform, black dress pants and the long sleeve grey button up adorned with a security badge. It was tucked into his pants and secured with a black belt. His radio at his hip ready to take any of the very important calls about a teenage shoplifting from hot topic.
“Black coffee? You don’t want to sweeten it a little?” You ask half playful, half serious, because coffee on its own was just bitter to you. There wasn’t much enjoyment in it.
He kind of makes eye contact with you but he seems distracted. Focused on something else. Which is fine, most of your customers are distracted by the turmoil of their own life. They don’t care much to talk to the “barista”. This guy should be no different. Something about him draws you in though, makes you want to know more.
“Yeah. Not really a fan of coffee, just really tired today I guess.” He says almost sounding interested in talking to you but there’s something missing in the way he speaks. Something far off and distant. He’s more distracted than your usual customers, like he’s not here, far off in another world, focused on anything but what’s going on around him.
You shrug and go to pour the shots focusing on that instead of the stranger that’s only half there in front of you. Once his coffee is made you take it to the pickup counter and call out his name, “Americano for Mike.”
You start saying that every day. He keeps coming back and you’re not sure why. He still looks just as tired as each day passes. You grow to admire the look. He’s messy but he’s also pretty and that’s enough to keep starting small conversations with this stranger.
He’s ordered coffee from you a dozen or so times by now. Your coworkers begin to notice he isn’t coming to the coffee stand on the days you aren’t working, and so the teasing begins.
One of the next times he’s there you hear your male coworker call out, “Hi Mike!” And you cringe inwardly at his goofiness.
Mike tips his head to the side and you can’t help but compare him mentally to a puppy. You bite back a laugh and shrug, “What can I say, you must be a regular now Mike. You want that americano again?”
He’s less distant the more he comes to the coffee stand. He shakes his head and leans against the counter, “I can’t lie, as much as I’d rather not spend the extra money to make it taste good, I don’t think I can stomach anymore black coffee.”
You smile, you knew it would only be a matter of time before he gave up the black coffee charade. You pick up a cup and your pen looking at him, “Do you know what you’d like instead?”
He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly and shrugs before shaking his head, “Mmm… No. I was hoping maybe you had some suggestions?”
You can’t help the grin that tugs at your lips and you write his name on the cup. He pulls out his cash to pay you, holding it out across the counter and you shake your head at him, “On the house for your first try.” you give him a playful wink and walk away to start making his drink. This time it’s similar to what he’s gotten in the past. You pour two shots of espresso. And put them in the cup. You steam milk with a bit of caramel flavored syrup and layer it on top of the espresso shots. When you’re finished adding a caramel drizzle to the drink you walk it over to the pickup counter and and hold it out to him instead of placing it on the counter.
He walks up and does that thing where he tilts his head curiously again and you can’t help but feel a little twinge in your chest at his cuteness. You can’t muster up the courage to say anything but, “You’re going to want to stir it before you drink it. That way it tastes better.”
He gives you a nod and a hint of a smile before taking the cup, “Thanks, I appreciate it. Sleep has been rough to come by recently. I think the coffee helps.”
You give him a small laugh and a nod, “Coffee is the sleep deprived persons best friend. Gotta make sure you’re awake enough to chase those shoplifters down.”
Maybe it’s the way that he holds the cup up to you in cheers way before walking away. Maybe it’s the fact that you know nothing about him. Maybe you’ve got a crush on the mysterious security guard that keeps coming to get coffee from you.
When you leave from your shift that day you notice Mike sitting on a bench by the exit and he has a cell phone pressed up against his ear. He’s got a look on his face that reads as mildly annoyed and very pissed off. You can faintly hear the words, “No I get it, but I just don’t have any one else to go to to watch her. I can’t leave work I have to be here for the whole shift. There’s no one to cover me.” He says and rubs the bridge of his nose with two fingers, leaning back on the bench.
You can see the stress painted across his face. He looks like hes going to get emotional and you cant help but feel bad for him. It’s the way he’s pleading into the phone as if it really is his last option. You walk over to him as the conversation ends and his cell phone returns to his pocket. You look at him for a moment and he doesn’t seem to notice you, but you speak up anyways, “Hey, mike right?”
He looks up from his lap and his mouth is parted slightly like he’s caught off guard by your presence. Once again too wrapped up in his own lifes turmoil to notice the world around him. He nods, lips still parted slightly before he fixes his slack jawed appearance and stands, “Yeah Mike,”
“Black Americano guy, that is until today,” You say with a smile. “By the way how was your drink? It’s what I suggest to most non coffee drinkers that want it to taste half decent.”
He gives you half a smile which is more than you’ve gotten in the entirety of your interactions. Mike seems to be coming back to this plane of existence, considering hes giving you the time of day, “It was good actually, much better than what I have been drinking.”
You’re not sure how to segue into it but you’re curious about the heated phone call you had so you pluck up the courage to say it, “Trouble with the missus?” You ask half sarcastically. Maybe you’re overstepping your boundaries but it’s too late now, you’ve already brought it up.
He looks confused for a moment and then looks down at himself as if he’s looking for a hint to what you’re talking about. He then looks back at you and here comes that half smile again, “Oh no just babysitter troubles. My sister isn’t old enough to be at home alone and her babysitter just called to tell me that she can’t watch her tomorrow. Some family emergency or something. I don’t know.” He rubs his hands on his pants nervously and shrugs as if it’s no big deal.
“You work tomorrow though don’t you? That’s tough,” You say and cross your arms thoughtfully.
“Yeah, now I’m kind of just shit out of luck. I don’t really have a back up since that was my backup.” He says and rubs a hand on the back of his neck sheepishly. His face gets that far off look again like he can’t get his mind off of the amalgamation of problems that is his life.
You tap your foot once, then twice, a thoughtful look on your face and your lips tighten into a line before you finally speak up, “I don’t work tomorrow.” you blurt out. He looks at you with a confused look on his face like he doesn’t know why youve brought it up and then you see the lightbulb, “I have babysitting experience too, so I mean if you need someone to step up, I’m your girl” you say with a smile.
He looks like he’s taken aback by your kindness. By the wear and tear of this mans existence you can tell he hasn’t had much kindness in his life. He finally speaks up moments later, “Really?” he’s not sure if this is real or if he’s daydreaming it but it’s the best chance he’s got at not losing this job he so desperately needs to support him and his sister, “That would be amazing I don’t know how I could thank you enough. She’s a really easy going kid she’s just quiet.” he says and feels the hope building in his chest.
You smile at him and nod, “Sounds great. I think I can handle that.”
He digs around in his pocket for a moment and pulls out a small notepad and a pen usually used for taking down descriptions of criminals in the mall but this time he uses it to scribble his address down for you. He rips the page out of his notebook and hands it over to you. There’s a phone number accompanying the address and you assume it’s his. “There’s my address, if you could be there at 8am that would be great. She’s usually had breakfast by that time so it will just be lunch and dinner in terms of cooking. I’d have to pay you on payday. I’m a little tight on funds until then.” He says sheepishly.
This is the most Mike has ever spoken to you and you can tell how much he cares for his sister. You finally know what’s going through his head when he is ordering coffee and seems like he’s a million miles away.
You nod dutifully and smile at him “You got it Mike, I’ll see you bright and early.”
He smiles back, it’s not half this time, it’s a full smile. Seeing it break past that rough and tough exterior is nice. He has a nice smile.
“Thank you again.” He says and suddenly theres a call over his radio for a blonde teenage girl inside wet seal stuffing clothes in her purse and he’s off. Waving goodbye to you before turning on his heel and jogging in the direction of the store he was called to.
You walk to the parking garage with that little slip of paper tucked into your pocket. You get in your little beater car and head home actually excited for a change in your weekly routine. You’re excited to get to know more about him, even if it involves babysitting his younger sister.
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bad flirt
denki x reader
type: hurt to comfort/ fluff
warnings: jealousy, self consciousness, implied f!reader
a/n: this is me combating writer's block, i have nothing to say for myself, sorry in advance <3
word count:1.5k
Kaminari Denki was always a bit of a flirt, calling all the girls in your grade “sweetcheeks”, “sunshine”, and “cutie”. You weren’t in his class, so you didn’t receive the brunt of it but whenever he came by the support classroom to get his disks adjusted or his costume tinkered with, he would always seek you out to do it. Sitting and talking to you as you worked, his words often came off awkward and inexperienced, he was trying to be cool, but he was still learning. At first you were annoyed with him, interrupting your other work, forcing you to divide your attention between him and his tech, unless you wanted him to start whining in an even more annoying falsetto.
“If I had a go-en* for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have 5 yen.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, keeping your eyes down and focused on the disk you were fiddling with, tightening a screw fully before you humored him with a response.
“I heard you say the same thing to Yaoyorozu Momo last week in the lunch line, so you would have at least 10 yen.”
His face flushed in embarrassment, and he reached up to scratch his neck as he let out an apologetic laugh, “ah I better start learning more lines then, shouldn’t I?”
You looked up and at him, “maybe you should stop flirting with so many girls, or get better at it, because you kinda suck at it.”
He laughed in earnest this time, “aha yeah, though I’m just playing around, its nothing serious l/n.”
Oddly enough that sent a weird pang to your heart, you weren’t sure why, but you decided it wasn't important enough to give any thought to.
You hummed in response and directed all your focus back onto his gear, oblivious to the pair of gleaming yellow eyes watching your every movement.
Denki’s gear seemed to be getting broken or needing adjustment more and more recently, and every time he made his way to the support classrooms, he was always seeking you out. Interrupting conversations you were having with other male classmates, sliding into whatever space he could that was next to you, and spouting ridiculous pickup lines.
“Can you take me to the hospital? I think I just broke my legs falling for you so hard!”
“Cupid called; he told me to tell you he needs my heart back.”
“I seem to have lost my phone number, could I have yours instead?”
“I was wondering if you had an extra heart, because mine was just stolen!”
At first it annoyed you, his frequent and rudely impromptu interruptions, but you slowly found yourself looking forward to his visits, to hear his cheesy lines and chitchat with you. Along with that though, you found this uncomfortable feeling making its home in your gut every time you would overhear him talking to another girl the same way he talked to you. Using the same kind of stupid flirting techniques, he used on you on the way prettier girls from class 1A and B. You didn’t like it, in fact you hated the way it, and that stupid blonde, made you feel.
It all came to a head on an overcast, regular day, nothing in particular caused it, in fact the day had been peaceful, and you were allowed to stay late by yourself with the promise of locking up after yourself since you were convinced you were close to a breakthrough on a new technology you had been working on. Maybe it was just the line, maybe it was the way he had come sliding into the spot next to you with no regard for your personal space, maybe it was the way you couldn’t even escape his words after school hours.
“Sorry, can you help me? I think there’s something wrong with my eyes, cause I can't seem to take them off you.”
It wasn’t an especially offensive line, not his worst by far, but something about it caused you to be pushed past your limits, the last screw holding together the damn snapping and opening the flood gates. You stood up from your workstation, leaving him sitting there and looking at you with a confused smile on his face.
“Will you just leave me alone Kaminari? There are so many other girls in this course you can go harass, I’m so sick of your shallow meaningless flirting! You should understand there can be weight behind your words! You can’t,” you sigh exasperated, running both hands up your face and through your hair, “You can’t just go around with your sweet words and sly smiles and stupid cute face and expect it to not work!”
He watched you with wide, electric eyes, and pink slowly blooming across his cheeks.
“You, you think my face is cute?” he stammered.
His stupid question only agitated you more, is that the only thing he had heard you say as you poured out your grievances. Tears of frustration welled in your eyes, threatening and fighting to spill over and ruin the image of strength you had desperately tried to present in an attempt to be taken seriously.
The tears won, and now you were standing in the middle of your empty classroom, crying in front of the bewildered boy who had no idea that there were consequences to his actions.
He stood, arms out in front of him, hands open, as if he was trying to approach a feral animal, “hey, hey, hey, ‘m sorry l/n, I didn’t know.” He slowly made his way closer.
“I wouldn’t have said those things if I knew.” He reached you, and when you didn’t make any move to push him away, circled his arms around you in an embrace, pressing your face close to his heart with one of his hands. It was beating fast.
You bounced your fist off of his chest weakly as you cried, mumbling about “leading me on” and “playing with my feelings”. It took about 5 minutes for you to wear yourself out, to calm down and run out of tears, but he was still as a statue. He stood and listened to you, never releasing you from his warm embrace.
When you had finally silenced, he pulled away slightly, ignoring the small damp spot on his shirt of tears and snot, and looked at your reddened face.
“Are you done?” he inquired. You nodded.
He led you over to your workstation and pushed you down into your chair, before turning around and rummaging through his school bag, pulling out a water bottle and offering it to you.
“I haven’t drunk from it yet, so it’s clean.” he informed, tilting it in your direction, enticing you to take it with a quivering hand, and sip from it slowly.
When you had had your fill of the refreshing water, you screwed the cap back on, feeling much more composed and a little embarrassed of your earlier outburst. You scrubbed your face with the back of your sleeve, wiping away the salty streaks that had smeared themselves across your cheeks. You offered him an apology and excuse.
“I’m sorry about that Kaminari, I don’t know what got into me.”
He shook his head, dismissing your words.
“I’m really sorry too l/n, I didn’t know my talking to other girls like that would hurt your feelings so bad, I just, I don’t want you to think I didn’t mean them when I was saying them to you.” He paused, eyes flitting across the room as they avoided looking at you.
“I know it’s not very convincing, saying that the same things I say to others have no meaning but when I say them to you, they do, but it’s true. In truth, I was practicing what I wanted to say to you, all those times you overheard me, because,” he coughed awkwardly, face flushed a bright red, “because well, I really like you, and I didn’t want to screw up with what I say to you.”
You let out a bemused and astonished huff of humor.
“Yeah, kind of ironic now,” he continued, “but I’ve always been really awkward around girls, especially the pretty ones I like, like you. And, well, I figured practice makes perfect.”
It was your turn to flush now, heat rising to your face at his confession.
“I’m sorry I made you think I wasn’t serious, or made you feel like I was just playing with your feelings. That really isn’t what it is. I would love if you would let me prove that to you.” He took one of your hands into both of his.
“I really like you, l/n y/n, please let me make it up to you, could I take you out this weekend?”
You wiped at the reddened skin of your face once more, as if you could rub away the blush that had made its home on your cheeks. You nodded, snuffling against your sleeve.
“Yeah, I think I’d like that, Kaminari.”
“Call me Denki.” he pressed.
The ghost of a smile graced your lips. “Yeah, I think I'd like that Denki.”
*go-en is the five yen piece
#bnha x reader#mha x reader#boko no hero academia#my hero academia#fanfic#denki x y/n#bnha kaminari#kaminari x y/n#kaminari x reader#denki kaminari#kaminaridenki#kaminari x you#denki x you#denki x reader#denki kaminari x you#denki kaminari x reader
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Maybe I'm not really poly or anything but...Any tips for dealing with feeling... abnormal? I am a very anxious person and I have partner who I am monogamous with and now I have a QPR on top of that and when something difficult comes up I'm able to talk to them both but not before having to struggle through a lot of internal feelings that I'm bad or doing something wrong that'll hurt all of us just by being poly... This blog helps a lot but I'd love more tips.
Eh, I don't really care if you're "not really poly". If you're not, you're close enough. And if you think the poly label fits, that's good enough for me. I got better shit to do than worry about that lol
As for your question, I think you're already doing the most important and helpful thing in making yourself do it anyway. As long as that process is contained to a reasonable amount of time, I don't think its even necessary to force anything else. Gold star for you ⭐! Now if you're wanting to work on it because that seems more comfortable for you, totally fair. But don't put a ton of pressure on yourself here to get it to a place of perfection. It's probably always going to require you to brace yourself a little. That's okay. 🤷♀️
So uh, things you should consider:
yeah, this is a thing you could work with a therapist on. Since anxiety and communication are any therapist's lifeblood, it shouldn't be difficult to find one that can help. There's also all sorts of online apps and tools. Blah blah, you know this
Ask your partners how they feel about you bringing up problems. I personally am very reassured😌 by my partner bringing up problems. It means I don't have to worry that something is festering, and it gives us the opportunity to collaborate on solving a problem, which is a great bonding activity. I make a point to tell my partners this frequently, which is what inspires this next suggestion: see if your partners would be willing to thank you or otherwise give some extra love to you for bringing something to their attention. The hope is that this would help -- along with your efforts -- retrain your brain into seeing discussing things as something good and helpful to the relationship. You will likely, if you haven't already, have to explain to your partners how much of a chore it is make sure things get discussed
Internalize this: any part of you may cause problems in any relationship. This is no one's fault, and it is okay. ANY part of you may cause problems! For no good reason! You gotta make your peace with that, comrade. Sometimes everything goes to shit and its no one's fault. Even trying to make yourself perfect and without needs will annoy the shit out of some people; I had a relationship fail in part because the other person apologized for everything all the time even if it wasn't their fault. You cannot be sure this part of you will never cause problems. You can only choose whether you want to risk the set of problems from living authentically or the set of problems that arise from bottling it up.
Breathe, friend. Your partners love you. Your life is in the day-to-day, not some big, nebulous, unwranglable hypothetical. You'll be okay 💟
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hello! I'm sure your anons have been flooded with a lot lol but I wanted to change the subject a little. I'm a little sad that Trent is out until the Atalanta game (don't know if its the first leg or second leg) feel like he's been gone for the whole season. miss watching him play with the team and the last interaction we saw with Dom was with haaland being annoying lol.
Also idk if it's just me but I don't know if Dom is very appreciated by fans on how much he does on the field. I get he's had some off games but he's such an important piece to the midfield especially when it comes to his pace. During the Brighton game the right side was getting torched until he started spending some time there to help on defense and even the man u game when he was subbed off we were winning and then we lost control of the midfield. It was a glaring difference and I'm not bashing on any other player NOT at all or saying they don't bring anything to the team, it's just he's a part of the success to the team and it's not spoken about as much.
anyway have a good day!
Hi lovely! I want to thank you for this wonderful ask, it's always both a pleasure and an honour to read your thoughts, especially when it's so well put together! 🫶🏼
I know I miss Trent so much:( I looked back at the pre-match interview he did this weekend as much as I could find, and as lovely as it was to see him, I just wish he was back on the pitch, doing his magnificent passes as he does. :( I understand that with so many reinjuries, they are being extra careful with him, but I feel like the dates just keep getting pushed back and pushed back and it's stressing me out lol.
With Domi, yeah, the narrative around him has shifted recently. In a sense, I think he, too, became the so called stepchild of the team, same thing that I have called Cody back in the past, of course just under very different circumstances. I do think that now that we are in April and have already seen how the season progressed, out of all the starting midfielders he has had the least luck lol. Meaning that he basically carried that midfield on his back for the first three months, then yes, he both got fatigued and fell off a bit, but also Macca grew more comfortable in his position and role, Endo caught up to the Prem and Curtis had entered into a really good form too. Obviously the attention then shifted to them, which is only natural, they were putting in some fantastic performances. His injury also came at a very wrong time, then I think those weird social media posts that were made about him also didn't help ( I actually have a lot to say about that lol), then when he did came back from months long injury and wasn't dropping 10/10 he was quickly made into (one of the) scapegoat(s). Sadly, it's only natural, and what's even sadder that those 'fans' will only move on from him if they find another player to overly criticize. Agendas work like crazy. Right now, if Endo or Alexis loses the ball, likely no one will say anything, if he does, he gets ripped a new one. At the start of the season, it was the other way around. It's insanely annoying, but that's online fans for you. Also doesn't really help his case, that he is in a very limited role, which is good for the team (nobody has his levels of athleticism and pressing intensity), but it also highlights his weaknesses. I have talked about this before, but going from always being the protected player to the one who has to protect everyone else can't be easy and it's pretty easy to see that it doesn't come natural to him. However, it's a role that every team needs, and I think overall, he does a good job at it.
Haha, anyways, I spend waaay too much time wondering about the psychology behind how these things work, I could talk the pants off of anyone with this lol.
Have a lovely day! <3
Edit: With all that yapping I forgot to tell you that I agree with you regarding Domi. We definitely lost momentum when him, Andy and Mo were subbed off. The midfield especially got run over. Klopp nearly always gets his man management right, it just wasn't his day that day - or anyone's really, I mean we let Antony score. 😅😅
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[Translation] Clover no Kuni no Alice ~ White Calling~ Light Novel - Chapter 3
Author: Sana Shirakawa Artist: 文月ナナ
Act 3 - Event at the green tower
Alice walked alone through the bustling town.
'............'
In the centre of the mostly green coloured townscape was a gigantic tower.
Clover Tower now stood in the place where the Clock Tower in the Country of Hearts had once been. Her light blue apron dress swaying, Alice was walking around the venue where the assembly would soon be held.
She had heard general details about the assembly from Blood, but didn't know anything substantial about it. She understood that special rules were in place for it, but still had her doubts whether a discussion could really be held amongst such a gathering of individualistic people.
In contrast to her misgivings, Blood Dupre had answered as if it were no big deal.
'It's not about having a proper discussion. The important thing is that we gathered and discussed something, that's all that is necessary. What it's about is meaningless. That's the kind of world this is.'
From his point of view, it was likely the real problem was that something so pointless would be taking away his precious tea times. As he drank the tea that had been his souvenir from the Castle, he repeatedly said, 'Ah, what a pain,' while looking annoyed.
She wondered what her other acquaintances thought. So thinking, she asked Elliot who had just returned from work, but the look on his face was complicated as he answered.
'The assembly? Yeah, it really is a waste of time…..there's more work to do, and I feel bad for Blood since he can't have his tea parties, plus I can't eat carrot cake whenever I want…..nothin' good about it at all.'
He was already so busy with work on a daily basis to begin with, she was puzzled as to exactly what kind of situation would cause him to be even busier than he already was. She was even less sure than before about what the assemblies were like.
She tried asking the Twins as well but…..they too shook their heads and sighed.
'Assemblies are awful, Big Sis. We get less days off, and we can't take long vacations. They really overwork us…..don't you think it's far too much, brother?'
'You're right, brother. They gotta increase our salary for the extra amount of work, or it's not worth it.'
The words the boys repeated seemed to imply that there was nothing else they found so troublesome.
Perhaps such a reaction was only to be expected of them, for whom time off and how much they were paid were matters of particular concern…..
But from such explanations as these, it was an impossible task for her to understand what the assemblies were, when she had never experienced them.
No matter how much she pondered, they would eventually happen. Maybe it was pointless to try and collect information in advance.
However, Alice had decided to remain in this world of her own free will.
Even though at the beginning she had only thought about returning home, before she had realised it, she had grown accustomed to this world.
Its workings were somewhat peculiar, but she had confidence that to a certain extent she could get used to them. That was why, even if it wasn't to the level of those around her, she wanted to obtain at least the minimum amount of information regarding the large event known as an assembly…..but it seemed that was easier said than done.
She had heard that just like the Clock Tower, the area surrounding Clover Tower was a neutral zone that did not involve itself in territorial disputes. Since the assembly was so soon, she had thought that if she went there she would meet one of her acquaintances, but as of now she had yet to spot a familiar face.
The fact that she couldn't help but remember the Clock Tower as she looked at the town square—meant that Alice had not yet been able to process all that had happened.
Because until now, assemblies and moves where the land itself changed were matters unrelated to Alice.
'I wonder what I should do now.'
If it were a festival that involved the entire town, she could likely gain the answers she wanted by asking one of the people nearby. However, the assembly wasn't something just anyone could attend. She had heard that only certain people could enter the meeting place in Clover Tower. Although most people knew of the assemblies, they had no direct involvement with them, so even if she were to enquire, she wouldn't be able to get her desired answers.
Just as she was about to give up and return to Hatter Mansion-
'.....Ah-'
She had a feeling she had just seen a familiar vivid pink colour in the midst of the crowd of people.
She quickened her pace a little as she ran up to him, but faster than Alice could call out, it appeared that he had noticed her too.
A face she knew well turned around, Alice reflected in his gaze.
Even from within the fluffy fur muffler wrapped around him, she could see his broad grin.
'Oh, it's you, Alice. It's rare to see you in a place like this. Did you come here to play?'
'It's been a while. I'm happy I got to see you, Boris.'
As she reached a spot that was close to him, Alice's feet came to a stop. Though his colours seemed all the flashier the more that you looked at them, she was no longer surprised. In the midst of the pink fur, she could see his small ears twitching.
Boris Airay, the Cheshire Cat, who could be called Pierce's natural enemy. In the Country of Hearts his place of residence had been the Amusement Park, but now he was living in the Forest.
'Ah, did you maybe have an errand here too, Boris? I would have thought you'd have been in the Forest, or playing with Dee and Dum.'
She would feel bad if she had gotten in the way of his errand. But as she was thinking that, he chuckled and shook his head. The gold decorations attached to the fur muffler glinted as they reflected the daylight.
'Nope, just out here to have some fun. And what about you? Shopping? It'd make me happy if you came here looking for me though.'
Boris' face drew closer to Alice as if looking for her attention. Striped tail swaying, he came nearer to the girl. The tall figure as it bent down a little looked exactly like a cat coming up to nuzzle against her.
It appeared that despite the move and the soon to be held assembly, he was still the same as usual. While feeling somehow lonely as well as relieved, Alice continued.
'I heard about it from Blood…the assembly is about to begin soon, right? I came here wanting to ask everyone about it, but…'
'The assembly? It's a waste of time going around asking about something like that. If it wasn't for the rules, I wouldn't want to go myself.'
Hearing what Alice had said, he shrugged as if bored. Even the tail that had been wafting about excitedly just a moment ago had drooped down. His tail was even more honest than his face.
'I gotta wear stuffy clothes, and can't play whenever I want to. Isn't it just too cruel for a Cat to not be able to chase a Mouse even if he's right next to me? And I can't eat fish whenever I feel like it…..it's such a pain.'
Sighing, the Cheshire Cat stretched himself from his formerly bent position. The flexible Cat quietly looked down at Alice.
As Boris continued to stare intently at her, he suddenly smiled mischievously. The one eye that had seemed so bored before suddenly twinkled as if he were enjoying himself.
‘Why so interested? Are you attending the meetings too, Alice?'
'Yeah, seems like it. Formal situations aren't really my kind of thing though…'
The head of the Mansion had prepared the outfit she would wear to the assembly before she had even realised it. Without a doubt, Alice's name was registered as one of the people to attend with him.
She hadn't yet seen the aforementioned formal wear. If all went as Blood had said and it was ready the time period after next, she would soon be making her debut in the new outfit.
Alice had experience interacting with high society in her original world, but of course had never taken part in any meetings called an assembly. At most, there had been the briefing sessions at the place she had worked at after school, but it wasn't as if she had been an official full-time employee.
'It's just that you all seem to know about the assemblies. I wanted to hear a little about what other people thought of them ahead of time. I feel bad that everyone always has to explain things to me though.’
‘Even if you don’t fret so much over it, you’re way better than that stupid mouse…..no, even more than me, you’re putting a lot of thought into the assembly. If it were me, I wouldn’t have even considered doing something like that.’
The pink coloured cat drew nearer to peer into Alice's eyes.
Half of his face was always hidden by his long bangs. That was why she could usually only see one of his eyes. The single eye that at times appeared childish, sometimes fearless as he laughed, was now looking at her gently as he smiled.
'I get you might feel anxious from not knowing, but once you've been to one once, you'll understand exactly what they're like. No need to be so worried.'
'.....Really?'
'Yeah. You really take things way too seriously.'
When asked if she had been worried, Alice wasn’t sure how to answer for a moment.
To be sure, she did feel a sense of uncertainty as a person not originally from this world in the face of rules that she did not understand. But she had a feeling it wasn't worry that she felt.
The feelings inside Alice couldn't be completely defined with a single word like anxiety. Even if she were to say that to Boris, it would be something difficult to resolve.
‘So by that you mean it’s useless to try and find out.’
‘Well, seeing as it’s the reason I got to see you, perhaps assemblies aren’t so bad….and also-’
His eyes having lit up with curiosity for just a moment, Boris laughed.
‘I’m looking forward to seeing you in formal wear. During the ball, the Hatter guys were sticking to you so closely, I couldn’t really get near. This time it seems I’ll be able to get a good look.'
‘The clothes might be fancy, but it’ll just be me wearing them, you know…..?’
It wasn’t as if Alice were a girl of rare or unparalleled beauty. As far as Blood’s taste in clothes went—although different from her own—while not incorrect, there was still a chance that they would outshine her.
That had been what she had thought, but Boris laughed as if exasperated saying, ‘You’re too down on yourself.’
‘It’ll be fine. It’s not like the others will be wearing clothes that are all that amazing. But, more importantly, Alice-’
‘Boris?’
Grabbing Alice’s arm, the Cheshire Cat grinned mischievously. His eyes narrowed, with one corner of his mouth raised, he pulled her along firmly as he began to walk.
‘Good timing, I’m hungry right now. There’s a restaurant with some good fish dishes nearby, so let’s go eat together.’
‘Huh-…..W-Wait, Boris?’
‘You’ll just tire yourself out overthinking things too much, ya know? In times like these, fish is the best! Let’s go!’
As Boris began to walk nimbly forward, he turned to look back at Alice, who was still surprised, and bent his head quizzically.
‘Oh, did you not like fish? Or would you have preferred a mouse?’
‘I-It would be a major problem if you gave me a mouse-!’
‘Is that so? Then, fish has to be fine, right? Even I like to dine out with a cute girl sometimes too.’
Just like that Alice was dragged along, but suddenly she couldn't help but think.
'............'
His previous place of residence had been the Amusement Park. The liveliest place in the Country of Hearts, where day and night, music was always playing and fun rides were always in operation.
But in comparison, there was barely anyone in the Forest where he now lived. The only other person living there was just the one other role holder…..it was a completely different type of environment. Of course, there was a town in the middle of the Forest, but she had heard he spent most of his time in the green space where the trees grew densely together.
'............'
If it was her, she would surely feel lonely. If she had ended up being separated from the boisterous and dangerous group that lived in the Mansion, and had to live in a Forest where people rarely went, she probably wouldn't be able to bear it.
'Aren't you…..lonely, Boris?'
'? What's this all of a sudden?'
He pulled on Alice's hand as he continued to walk on without answering.
She couldn't tell how the Cat felt just from his tail when his back was turned.
'It's just you and Pierce in the Forest. Gowland and all the other employees were always there with you up until now….I was just thinking you might feel lonely since they disappeared all of a sudden.'
I think I would definitely feel lonely.
She didn't say it out loud, but it was likely the intuitive Cat had picked up on her thoughts. Alice purposely didn't try to hide them.
'.....I'm a cat, Alice.'
So said the pink cat in a light tone, not looking back.
'Cats are fickle creatures after all, we can go anywhere…..and we can return from anywhere, too. That's why I'm not lonely at all. Or could it be-'
'.....Could it be?'
As Alice opened her mouth to confirm what he meant, he at last turned around.
The face with one corner of his mouth lifted in a roguish grin was the smile of the Cheshire Cat that Alice knew very well.
'If you're that worried about me, how about coming to the Forest too, Alice? If we chase after the Mouse together, I won't have the time to feel lonely at all.'
It was a cynical, somewhat unreadable smile. There was no way Alice could say anything to pry further.
She had told Pierce the same thing. No matter how much he were to invite her to the Forest—she could not live in the same place as them.
In the end, Alice stopped at slightly shaking her head with an awkward smile.
'I'll have to refuse.'
'Is that so? If you ever change your mind, come anytime.'
Accepting Alice's words, Boris once more returned his gaze ahead.
'Well, with that idiot mouse around…..the Forest might not be suitable for you, Alice.'
That was what he quietly murmured to himself, but his voice was so small it did not reach her ears.
Unbeknownst to them, there was a single hidden figure secretly watching them from the shadows of an alley.
'.....No fair, Boris…..I wanted to share a meal with Alice too…..chuu.'
The one pouting in a huff was the boy Dormouse the two of them had been talking about.
Moving his large ears, he muttered to himself.
'What to do, what to do. Maybe I should tag along too….but I don't like the kitty cat being there..and I wanna eat cheese, not fish.'
He took a step out onto the main street, but then stepped back again. After doing this repeatedly while humming to himself uncertainly, it looked as if he had at last made up his mind.
'Ah, but I can't. I'm in the middle of work right now! I gotta clean up properly, or the boss will get mad at me.'
Nodding to himself, he took hold of the trunk case he had left nearby. The heavy sounding bag trundled down the path as Pierce began to walk.
'Eheheh. But it's great Alice is coming to the assembly. That makes me happy, so happy…the assemblies are a bother, but Petey will be there, and so will Ellie. How nice, how nice. It's good everyone will be there…..although it would be even better if Boris and Dee and Dum weren't there too.'
With a rumbling, clattering noise-
In contrast to the Mouse's lighthearted sounding voice, the weighty sound of the trunk case echoed as he disappeared down the back alley.
#heart no kuni no alice#hnkna#translation#alice in the country of clover#boris airay#alice liddell#otome game
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One personal critique of totk of mine is the Sage abilities
All of them - except Tulin, his is A+++++ I'm so proud of him - they all... kind of suck. They work for their respective dungeons yeah but once you finish them? 😬 The second best I'd have to say is Yunobo's his roll ability is really useful when it comes to cave exploration and depths voyages for rock breaking but then you have Mineru's who is handing for traversal in gloom and lava situations but not at all in combat, Riju's which I only use for when I need emergency extra damage in critical situations and Sidon's the actual fucking worse with his discount Wish dot com Daruks protection and the water slash ability that doesn't hit the opponent 80% of the time.
And then things get even worse when you're running around and the following you and either constantly in your way or constantly spawning and despawning and respawning every five fucking seconds it gets annoying where I only now have Tulin and one other sage to handle whatever situation I'm in and if there is none I'm only traveling with Tulin because he's the best and most reliable, important, all around useful to have and the only time I turn him off is rare situations where I specifically don't want him to kill certain enemies like the rock octarocks that can fully refurbish your weapons because he's THAT GOOD. He's like a little feathery death machine.
Honestly the Sages (except Tulin I CAN'T stress that enough) are such a downgrade game play wise in comparison to the champions in breath of the wild. The champions were all balanced, reliable, and each one important and tailored to each aspect of the overall the the entire time you played:
Revail - focused on vertical traversal, got you places quicker and convenient. Also could be such a life saver to be escape from dire combat situations like you don't know how many times this bird helped me survive guardian encounters. Tulin's ability is a lot like his in a way and serves the same purpose, only sending you horizontal instead of vertical and while I do miss the vertical wind I do get why they made it that way since we have asend now which sort of does the same thing but on a slower, situational scale but I do very much appreciate the horizontal wind and it's also just as helpful.
Daruk - focused on defense, gives you three free hits before enemies can damage you and can absolutely save you life in dire encounters there's not much left to say, it's a fairly simple ability but it's one of the most helpful that will you will use and probably never take off for the entire game the moment you get it. Sidon's is the equivalent of this. It sucks. A lot. Only has one use and you have to walk your way over to his tall lank ass to activate it instead of just pressing a button (we will come back to this point later)
Urbosa - focuses on offense, my God. This is the most overpowered combat focused ability like. Ever. No wonder its the second largest to take to charge. There's so much versatility when it comes to this move, it activates as you charge up an attack you you get that charge move you'd get anyway without it AND an enemy deleting area of effect in such a large radius???? Insane. Riju's is sort of the equivalent but you have to do it with arrows (again and the bullshit walking up to her to physical activating it which I've personally accidentally triggered her ability at least A THOUSAND times when I'm just mashing A to collect stuff) and it's a lot less powerful, which hey I get this one I'm not too mad at being less stronger than the original with just how insane stupid overpowered Urbosa's fury was.
Mipha - health/life, this is the one ability that statistically probably doesn't get used as much as the other three (depending on what kind of player you are 💀) but I'd argue it's literally the most helpful out of the four. It's quite literally you're free fairy in a bottle, your free escape death because your stubborn horse Romeo kicked you off the bridge of Hylia twelve separate times card (true story) If you're stupid plan fails and you get practically one shotted by a lynel it's Mipha whose saving your ass AND SHE EVEN GIVES YOU EXTRA YELLOW HEARTS!!! Mipha is amazing and it sucks totk didn't give an equivalent ability because it would've personally helped me during SO MANY frustrating moments in my first initial playthrough it's such a same.
My point here is the champions abilities were all as equally useful and balanced, as you unlock them you use them all playthrough and never really stop using them and they naturally become a part of the game play loop and it's nice. The Sages aren't like that besides Tulin and a occasionally Yunobo and Mineru they're just... meh. Forgettable. AND THE WAY YOU ACTIVATE THEM??? THE ACTUAL FUCKING WORST. In breath of the wild the champions abilities were so easy and each of them had a dedicated button to hold down (except Mipha's whose activates automatically the second you reach zero hearts) and it was all so convenient. There's no reason the Sages powers should work the way they do, having to run over to them mostly during battle to press a for the ability to come up only for them to run away from the the mere second you need them and just keep doing so again usually in battle when you NEED them (I'm looking directly at you Sidon) AND GOD FORBID YOU TRY AND PICK UP A GROUP OF ITEMS LYING ON THE GOUND. It's all so miserable. There's no reason Nintendo thought it'd be better than convenient dedicated button presses like the last game there was no reason!! But at least and not shockingly Tulin proves again to be the best sage and his ability has it easy to use and the prompt automatically pops up when you pull out the paraglider, when you're the most likely to use it anyway.
I hope but highly doubt in enviable story DLC that we get enhanced versions of the sage abilities like botw did and maybe, just maybe the option to toggle button use for them. I feel like that would help even just a little bit.
I don't know how to end this post but look at him. I'm proud of him:
Best Sage :)
#the legend of zelda#the legend of zelda tears of the kingdom#tears of the kingdom spoilers#breath of the wild#tloz tulin#tloz yunobo#tloz riju#tloz sidon#tloz urbosa#tloz revali#tloz daruk#tloz mipha#moosh gives his dumb opinions#non request related
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hey I'm too shy to ask off anon but do you have tips on finding illustrator work in finland. I have zero marketable skills besides drawing but I have NO idea how to find people who want to hire me
(Im gonna answer in eng since you msgd in eng but im gonna tag this w fintags in case someone has extra tips- im a super beginner in my work area so im sure there's other more compitent ppl out here who might wanna add answers etc? :0)
OK SO IM SUPER W U im like ass at anything that isnt art, like, i tried a lot of other stuff before i succumbed to doing graphic design/art as a job bc i just did so bad at everything. Which, im sure ill be doing a bunch of other stuff on the side throughout my life because IT. IS NOT EASY!!! ITS A SUPER HARD JOB TO GET WORK IN!!! I mean im on the medicore side as an artist so it might just be me but LMFAO. I dont wanna scare you off but it is tough HOWEVER. yes there are things you can do ill readmore this tho
I think the easiest to get into IS like. private commission work. The usual "drawing ocs or fandom stuff" for people. It requires a lot of self marketing- building a platform, making your art a desirable object. Im planning personally 2 open comms again after my current gig is done, and ive been hearing good stuff about the small business options osuuspankki offers- re: being able to do the billing via paypal &helping w the taxing which makes overseas work a LOT easier to figure out. I cant swear on them personally tho since i have not used their services before, but i can give more info in abt a month when Im planning on looking into them more! So. Online market yourself. (you can ask further on this but this post would be too long if i get into that, also im not like a master of this), commission work. PRICE YOUR STUFF RIGHT, Look into how long it takes you to make your pieces and create an approx. price based on your hours spent working. And then price higher.
As for a lot of the stuff i do&post about here. I personally DID start w education, which, i am incredibly lucky I could. I studied graphic design/illustration in Ikaalinen, its a really great school which i can recommend if that is an option for you. I could talk abt it more but I think the main things i got from that education was a) making connections b) learning how printing works which is INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT. If you want to work in book illustrations which i have done, I recommend looking into the technical aspects of printing on your own. You can learn it online definetly. As for connections, thats a little tougher, but really anything beyond for me has been. Just making a portfolio & CV and emailing and asking for work. Its tedious and annoying but yeah.. Other options im aware of for illustration work is like. in advertizing (though its kinda rare to do ILLUSTRATION), game companies (theres a lot of other stuff you need 2 learn there tho)... Ik some ppl sell their illustrated products eg. stickers, prints etc, but idk anything abt that section. In finland its rly tough bc you rly dont. I like got curious and just googled "kuvitus töitä" and yeah theres just Nothing. It is abt looking for where illustrations could be (looking for small book publishers, looking for childrens books writers specifically and reaching out to them, etc etc) and reaching out and being a pushy bitch its AWFUL its my least favourite part of this job but it is. Yeah..
#suomitumppu#suomitumblr#jos joku tietää enemmän koska mäki haluisin kyl kuulla mieluusti :D#jos tiedätte paremmin ku mä nii älkää pliiis kutsuko mua ääliöks tiedän et oon tyhmä mut oon just päässy aluilleen elämäs enkä tiedä mitää#mistää vittu#kanitalk#ask#anon
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I posted 3,855 times in 2022
That's 3,609 more posts than 2021!
648 posts created (17%)
3,207 posts reblogged (83%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@proudfreakmetarusonniku
@ruffboijuliaburnsides
@phantoids
@journal-number-3
@las-nevadas-corporate
I tagged 1,355 of my posts in 2022
#lr likes your art - 182 posts
#dsmp - 75 posts
#ua reblogs - 47 posts
#lehhohgoeszoom - 34 posts
#cdc reblogs - 29 posts
#cw food - 29 posts
#haha - 27 posts
#yeah - 27 posts
#passing ships - 27 posts
#creb - 26 posts
Longest Tag: 137 characters
#you know i don’t remember what an ost is but there are many people who go by ranboo and followers knowing your music taste isn’t atypical
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
@americans how many blazes are you getting???
i see a lot of post complaining about blazed posts but im in australia so ive gotten literally like none
15 notes - Posted September 26, 2022
#4
you know i rewatched the whole minecraft bu the sky is eating the world thing where mr soot kept saying that he was being an iron slut
i am beign a whore for copper. i need more fucking copper. 64 of those only translate to 7 blocks (and there should be an extra one but there isn;t because... maht?)
listen I have this massive room and it’s made of snow. and copper.
16 notes - Posted August 31, 2022
#3
“At this rate I see literally no difference between kicking your ass out of the balcony and not.” oh my god.
this is the bullshit that keeps my love of centricide going
how would one describe centricide, genuinely? EDIT: oh my god I am so sorry I forgot to mention this is a quote from the politi-girl fanfic series on ao3 sorry for forgetting to give credit to @politigirls on ao3
19 notes - Posted July 7, 2022
#2
you know, with all this reboot stuff, i just want to say that the ccs... idk, i feel like they dont completely get how funky the fans are. they’ll be real upset that you tore away the plot and characters and storylines they drew to love with a potential of everything failing more, and many will pull away
but even more so, i think many will stay.
im not sure if they realise that dsmp is really important to a lot of people, and how upsetting it would be to have it torn away after waiting and being paitient, endless fan content and community based around a plot that essentially got “Abandoned Work: Unfinished or Discontinued” slapped on it, but its important enough that even when you mock your fans for being there, even when you fuck them over, etc, etc, they will still watch because it was so good and they care enough and hope enough that theyll keep going until you reach really really shit
yeah lol. idk man
25 notes - Posted July 10, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
for me specifically as a teenager who has asthma, i just. maybe its just me, but i swear it can’t be. asthma is this frustrating creature who you get very sick of very quickly. when i have an asthma attack, i might be experiencing like. physcial struggle to breathe but cognitively im just annoyed and tired, and the most emotional reaction you’ll probably get out of me is just frustration or a little bit of fear if it goes on a little bit too long.
everyone is prickish about it, when i was younger i could never participate in sport and people thought i was so lucky when everything just hurt and my head was always light and the office ladies fucking despised me. no one wants to call it a real disability (what else is it? I dare you, tell me what a disability is), it makes you scared to do things, you dont want to run that race or try that sport because you know you won’t be able to do it. you need breaks while running. inhalers are more expensive the price stacks up over time
like when i have an asthma attack, i literally cannot just breathe. that is the entire problem. i cannot do breathing exercises, it does not matter whehter or not i look you in the eyes, i need the medication for my chronic illness.
i had this whole thing where a bunch of student in primary school like year 5-6 made videos about me, mocking me and calling me asthma attack girl, and pretending to have asthma attacks to be like look at (name) and how much shes faking!! and putting them online and they got a lot of shares.
“stop doing that stupid wheezing thing and just breathe” “why are you coughing like that? don’t you want to breathe?” “look at me, no, NO, HEY, HEY, look at me and breathe in- NO NO, BREATHE in and hey no-” “you just lost control of yourself, you need to stay in control and not give in to the asthma”
like. fuck you. treat us with respect. also because your ableism is easy to clown on.
91 notes - Posted October 16, 2022
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Yuu can do it!
Part 35
First - Previous - Masterlist - Next
Enma carefully dusted off a lower shelf, preparing to leave. There was a guy with green hair outside, rapping fervently on the window, as he did basically every other night, seeking answers as to where his ‘Waka-sama’ was, as if Enma would suddenly understand who that was this time… but the store was closed, so this was not Enma’s problem. Should have come within the established store hours. Then Enma would humor him, for only then was he held captive by his responsibilities.
Even Sam was ignoring the potential customer, his magenta eyes scanning over the store’s stock critically.
“Little ghoul? Do you know what day it is?”
Enma thought for a moment, before shrugging. They had just passed midterm exams the week prior, which meant time did not matter to him in the slightest. But he had memorized the days for each exam, so... “The… 25th of October? I think?”
Sam sighed, and Enma almost feared that he had gotten it wrong, but the man wasn’t annoyed with him: “They know my schedule better than I do.”
Enma frowned. “Uh, do you have a stalker or something? Do you need help?”
Sam grinned at him briefly before taking out his phone. “Nothing like that, don’t worry.”
He breathed a sigh of relief and stepped around the man’s contemplation of his calendar (a truly important thing, he wouldn’t dare to break Sam’s focus) so he could set the duster in its unofficial place behind the counter. It was technically supposed to go in the store room, but neither of them ever bothered to take it back there.
Now, though, he was considering expending the necessary effort. Because he was the kind of employee who always went the extra mile, not because he felt slightly awkward when he wasn’t in the know. Not at all. He just also, by chance, happened to take the time to ask what was going on, because he liked making conversation with Sam.
“What is wrong, then?”
“Not wrong, per se, just annoying. The other schoolkids must have realized that I usually have a sale at the end of October and are waiting to buy things until then.”
Enma gasped. A sale? He had never loved his curious nature more than he did in that moment. Hell yeah, a sale –.
… wait.
“I suppose I’ll have to work that day,” he said, already grimacing at the idea of working in that kind of chaos.
“I’ll give you Overtime pay, don’t worry.”
“I’ll take a discount instead and call it even. In the spirit of sales and all,” Enma said, batting his eyelashes.
“You get your things at wholesale price. I can’t go any lower without losing money,” Sam said, raising an eyebrow at him, more amused than genuinely annoyed.
Enma huffed. “I’m not worth losing a few dollars over?”
“You say that like that’s not a lot! I would sell my firstborn to a demon for a couple of dollars.”
He considered this for a few moments.
“I mean, having a kid would kind of mess up your ‘cool uncle’ vibe,” he decided.
“Exactly. You get it.” He ruffled Enma’s hair. “Now, go home. You have class tomorrow.”
~
He grinned widely as he set far too many bags on the kitchen table, leaving his poor roommates (literally poor, they had no money) in shock.
“Sam let me have the first pick of the stuff that’s going on sale tomorrow, and I’m getting Overtime pay during the sale. We’re set.”
This was how Deuce and Ace found them gathered around their kitchen table, laughing evilly over their newfound fortune (two whole weeks' worth of groceries). They paused, their backpacks half off their shoulders, prepared to do their homework, but they suddenly did not trust the Ramshackle residents to be able to reason out the answers with them.
But then Deuce figured it out through context clues such as them actually having a surplus of food for once and the rumors that had spread through the school about how Sam usually had a sale around this time of year, and his eyes gleamed. “The sale starts tomorrow?”
Enma nodded in confirmation.
Deuce cackled maniacally.
Ace looked around at his fallen friends, considering whether he wanted to stay to cure them or run before their laughter had infected him, too.
~
Ito absently tossed their wooden spoon from hand to hand, glaring at the chicken they were frying as if that would make it be done faster. Enma wasn’t sure why they were in such a rush, Kuroki wasn’t done cutting the vegetables, so it wasn’t like they would finish anytime soon regardless.
But whatever. He wasn’t an expert or anything.
He glanced through the door to make sure that their friends weren’t doing anything too stupid. They had sent Ace, Deuce, and Grim out to do their homework while they waited for the food to be ready. Did any one of them think they’d actually do it? Absolutely not. It had only been a few minutes, but they were already slacking off, debating the ethics of punting small children for some reason – Enma didn’t want to know. All that was important was that they weren’t in the kitchen.
Why was Enma allowed in? Well, they trusted him to have enough self-control and self-awareness to not touch the food until it was done.
Enma had long-since stopped pretending to man the fire extinguisher. If Ito hadn’t burned their house down yet, they probably wouldn’t.
Still. Enma watched Ito like a hawk. Not because he was concerned, just a little confused.
“How are you so good at cooking but so awful at Alchemy? Isn’t it kind of the same thing?”
“I’m going to hit you with my spoon.”
“I can handle it,” Enma said.
He could not.
His arm hurt now. Crimes have been committed.
Kuroki snickered. Even worse.
But then he shrugged. “Honestly, I’m surprised that you’re even as fluent in Japanese as you are.”
Ito paused.
“Japanese?”
It was silent for a solid few moments, save for the chicken sizzling in the pan.
And that’s how they found out that the school had an enchanted translator. Just not one that would translate things in and out of Spanish. After some trial and error, mostly done by Ito (who knew a surprising number of languages) and Enma (who had tried to learn English once, only to immediately give up because the grammar rules – or lack of them – had pissed him off), they learned it translated English and Japanese, but nothing else. Enma and Kuroki could only give them consoling pats on the back as they cursed at the inhumanity of it all.
At least they didn’t have to think about that for long, because Kuroki realized that his next ‘assignment’ was to cut a singular jalapeno. “I don’t think it needs –.”
“How the fuck can you not handle –?! It’s one pepper!” Ito said.
“They’ve got a point, man. There has to be something wrong with your tastebuds.”
Kuroki sputtered. “All of us have something wrong with our tastebuds!”
“Sure, but is the spice thing new?”
Kuroki rolled his eyes and refused to answer.
“Maybe you’re allergic or something,” Ito offered.
“I mean, I’m pretty sure the tastebuds that register spice are similar to the ones that warn you when food is hot – temperature-wise, I mean – so maybe you just can’t tolerate heat in general.”
Kuroki grimaced. “I don’t like the sound of that. Don’t experiment on me.”
Life was just one tragedy after another for one Enma Yuuken.
“Or…” Kuroki hesitated. “Well, my parents never really bothered to teach me to cook, so I ended up eating whatever was easy to make or within biking distance. I just never developed a taste for spice.”
Enma and Ito looked at each other with wide eyes. They were not therapists, they did not know how to respond to any of this. Comfort? Was comfort the way? Maybe Kuroki would just like them to move on like usual and not treat him any differently? What if –?
Kuroki’s lips began to twitch upwards at the corners, and he tried pressing them together more thinly to hide this, but Enma saw.
“Hey! You can’t pull the trauma card for this!”
Ito groaned. “I’m putting in three peppers just for that.”
Kuroki hissed a curse.
~
Enma pressed his palms into his eyes, formulas dancing in his minds eye despite his best efforts. He had wanted to learn about magic, but not like this. He didn’t need math to know that spells moved through the air fast, and that people who were better at magic could throw them faster. He had seen it for his own eyes during that Overblot. He should get so much extra credit after that Overblot, enough that he shouldn’t have to do anything more in his math class – sorry, Personal Magical Ability class, it was definitely named that way just to trick people into it – to pass.
He was good at math, don’t get him wrong, but he also despised it for its monotony. Math was the reason that Enma hadn’t even considered going into the science field, back when the question of what he would study in university was his biggest concern in life.
At least Deuce was also in the class (so was Ace, though he was in a different period, and surprisingly good at math, able to do it all in his head far faster than Enma could do on paper… when he cared enough to try, that is), so he got to feel slightly smarter when he was teaching him the steps.
It was frustrating, though.
“Deuce… you have to account for gravity in your calculations, how do you forget gravity every time?! It’s gravity! Even Grim remembers gravity, and he doesn’t even follow its rules –!”
“Enma, relax, you’re going to make him cry,” Ito said, though they weren’t hitting him with their Alchemy textbook – Enma was pretty sure they only did that in hopes that it might break one day and free them of their hell – quite yet, so they couldn’t have been that upset.
“So this is what it’s like to be yelled at by your dad over math,” Kuroki said, idly flipping through his Animal Linguistics textbook. He had taken an interest in the mice that lived in their dorm, which was a little weird, but Enma wouldn’t say a word so long as they didn’t get another Fluffy. “Can’t say I missed out.”
“Are you ever going to let the ‘in-dorm dad’ thing go?” Enma said, momentarily distracted.
“Are you ever going to stop with the puns and scolding us when we’re ‘impolite’?” Ace said.
“Shut up and do your theater homework.”
“Theater shouldn’t have homework!” Ace snapped. “I’m not doing it out of principle!”
“Riddle is going to collar you again,” Grim said.
“No, he won’t. I will simply say ‘no’ and then he can’t.”
“Good luck with that,” Deuce said, grinning.
“It’s like he wants to be collared,” Enma said.
“Maybe he has a thing for it,” Kuroki mused. “Like Trey and his thing for teeth.”
Ace spluttered. “I don’t have a ki –!”
“Why the fuck are there so many similarly named things?” Ito cut in before that particular conversation could change the rating. They flipped back and forth between pages labeled Mandrake and Mandragora with an expression full of offense, as if they were being targeted specifically.
Kuroki shrugged. “Latin.”
“Latin is a beautiful language from which all of the best languages sprouted. Alchemy is a crime. Of the Devil. Literally awful.”
“What’s a ‘Latin’?” Ace said.
“Do your theater homework,” Kuroki said.
“I’ve already told you I won’t! It’s terrible and awful and shouldn’t be a thing –!”
“I’ll give you the answers,” Ito said, rolling their eyes.
“Oh, okay.”
“So it’s not a principle thing, then, is it?” Grim pointed out.
“Fuck off. I’m surprised you even know what that word means.”
~
Needless to say, they took a while to finish their homework. By the time Ace and Deuce were leaving, Enma was pretty sure he could hear Riddle yelling about their missed curfew from across campus. The guy got cranky when he had to stay up past his bedtime.
Speaking of, they put Grim to bed.
A shocking amount of people at Night Raven College could be likened to babies without much effort.
Not them, though. They were actually surprisingly disciplined.
Kuroki dropped onto the couch, spreading out despite the fact that Ito was already there, his legs thrown over their lap lazily. “Alright, weekly ‘what the fuck is wrong with this world’ meeting is now in session.”
Their meetings were getting less and less frequent, because… well…
“Politics class is just more of the ‘preying on the weak’ bullshit, but this time with a Sunset Savannah flavor. Still no evidence of anything besides Catholicism in Religion, but Father Frollo is definitely biased. Econ is still going over basic economic concepts, obviously,” Ito droned.
Yeah… turns out that the world they were in had a lot of things that they were supposed to know by 16 that the teachers weren’t bothering to recap for them.
Enma pressed his face into his hands for the second time that night. “Personal Magical Ability is… Personal Magical Ability. Magical Tech is still not past anything we have in our realities because apparently magic and tech took forever to actually mix without things blowing up. Magical Analysis is going over Overblots right now, and I think we’re good on that.”
“Yagujen are still beast men. Mermen are still fish guys. Animal languages are still hard to learn,” Kuroki said shortly. “Thus concludes this week's meeting.”
This begs the question of why they had these meetings in the first place…
Well, they like to complain.
“I hate my yajugen class. I’m the only non-yagujen in it. I feel weird.”
“We know, Kuroki,” Ito sighed.
“At least you’re not the only person in it like my magical tech class. I swear, I’m about five classes away from asking for a phone from the headmaster so I can go as a tablet, too.”
“We know, Enma,” said Ito.
“They keep calling me a ‘herbivore’. I swear that shit is a slur or something.”
Ito rubbed their eyes. “Alright. You can debate amongst yourselves, I’m going to go shower and sleep.”
“We’d stop debating if you just give your opinion,” Kuroki said, batting his eyelashes innocently.
“Nice try. Good night, guys.”
“Night,” they chorused, waving their friend off.
And then Enma and Kuroki immediately got back into it:
“It’s way more annoying to be the only one, he’s always looking at me so if I yawn I’m screwed –.”
“At least you don’t have to deal with all these fucking eyes on you all the time –!”
~
He glanced out the window, more than a little intimidated by the sheer amount of people pressing against the walls of the store, faces and hands flat against the glass, their only thoughts about how they would get more stuff if only they managed to be the first inside. A windowpane rattled when someone tested its strength. This must be what it was like to work during Black Friday in America.
He had heard tales of people paying to watch Americans during their weird ritual, and he had to admit that it was kind of fascinating.
He might have been more interested if they weren’t eyeing him like a horde in a zombie movie.
“Is it too late to refuse?”
Sam thought it over, his hand on the knob. “Are you willing to give back the extra groceries you bought with your advance paycheck?”
Enma’s head dropped forward, a silent admission of defeat.
A hand patted the top of his head. Sam was nowhere near him. This happened more often than he’d like to think about.
Luckily for him, he wouldn’t have to think about it for long!
The doors swung open, and people flooded in. A couple of people towards the front tripped, either because they were in a rush or because of the loose floorboards Sam claimed to have but Enma had never once seen for himself.
A fight immediately broke out over mittens. Why did these people need mittens during the first few days of November, on a campus where temperatures were controlled? Because they were on sale, obviously. What other reason is there to buy things? Need? Please.
Oh, right, Enma’s job.
“Hey, you can’t fight in here,” he said, exasperated.
One of the guys removed his hand from his opponent’s hair to flip him off.
Enma didn’t get paid enough for this.
At least the guy got punched in the face while his guard was down.
“How often do you have to tell people that?” Deuce asked by his shoulder, and Enma gave a manly scream as he whipped around to look at him. Deuce didn’t even look sheepish about it, the asshole. Enma was never going to give him a few dollars off again.
“You’re missing the sale,” he said, still clutching his chest.
Deuce shrugged nonchalantly. “I know, I’ve just been wondering... if we drag someone outside to fight them, is that okay?”
Has Enma mentioned that he didn’t get paid enough for this? Yes? Then he’d like to say it again.
He pressed his face into his hands, groaning. “Sure, man. Go for it.”
Deuce grinned despite his friend’s pain – or, perhaps, because of it – and gave him a single ‘comforting’ pat on the back before disappearing into the fray.
Enma sighed to himself.
But his day could only get worse from there.
“Enma-kun!” an unfortunately familiar voice cooed.
Fuck. Ruggie.
Listen, Enma was sure Ruggie was a swell guy. He just wasn’t a fun person for a cashier to encounter.
“Hi, Ruggie,” he greeted. “I’m not allowed to lower the prices any more than the sale already has. Don’t do this to me.”
“Are you sure?” Ruggie asked, a teasing lilt to his tone.
He breathed a sigh, his customer service smile already straining. He cast his eyes around until he found Deuce. Just in time to watch the boy ‘accidentally’ bodyslam someone into the ground for a carton of eggs, only for them to get stolen by someone else. It brightened his mood, if only slightly.
“There are lots of people around. If they hear me give you an extra discount, they’ll want one, too. I couldn’t give you one even if I wanted to.”
“That makes it seem like one is possible money-wise,” he continued to haggle.
“It’s not happening.”
Ruggie did not seem to like this answer, but he gave in when another Savanaclaw student nudged him, reluctantly paying the full price. Enma went into shock, staring at the money in Ruggie’s outstretched hand. It had never been that easy before.
Enma Yuuken has fallen in love, and the lucky lad’s name was Random Savanaclaw Student #3.
The Savanaclaw student that had once been his savior proceeded to bug him about prices as well.
Customer service workers should be allowed one murder a year, Enma thought dully.
Apparently, there was something up there that was listening and had a sense of humor, because things went wrong at that moment:
The person that Deuce had bodyslammed cried out, and Enma’s gaze shot to them just in time to see their arm get stepped on, forcing their elbow to bend inwards at an angle it wasn’t supposed to be able to make. He gave a sympathetic little hiss at the sight.
The person who had stepped on them shouted an apology, but they were small, and soon swept away by the crowd.
Okay, yeah, this had gone too far.
He grabbed a megaphone out from under the counter. It was supposed to be for emergencies, and he wasn’t sure if there was anything more ‘emergency’ than a crowd crush and someone actively being trampled.
“Everyone stop moving or the sale is canceled!”
A couple of people with animal ears groaned, their hands coming up to forcibly press their ears against their heads, trying to mute the sound. Enma felt a little bad.
Only a little bad, though, because Ruggie and Random Savanaclaw Student #3 hadn’t quite managed to worm their way out of the store yet and were now gritting their teeth, in pain. Deserved.
“You don’t have the jurisdiction to cancel the sale!” someone in the crowd piped up.
“That’s an improper use of the word ‘jurisdiction’,” Enma said.
The person flushed red and fell silent. Ha. Take that. Question his (nonexistent) authority and Enma will embarrass you in front of a crowd.
He started pushing his way forward until he could get to the injured person. Their arm was… well, it didn’t look much better up close.
Crapcrapcrap he wasn’t actually qualified to deal with this oh no oh no oh noohnoohno, he screamed internally.
“Why didn’t you just get off the floor?” Enma asked instead, because his brain-to-mouth filter had scrambled for something that didn’t sound panicky and had, apparently, overcompensated.
The student looked like he was going to cry. It was understandable, considering he had just gotten bodyslammed, trampled, and now berated for it. However, had he considered that Enma did not know how to handle someone crying. Or someone that had been bodyslammed and trampled. Truly, he was the one suffering here.
He located Sam, across the store, talking to Random Savanaclaw Student #3 about grocery drones. Ruggie seemed offended that he wasn’t also being hounded into buying more things – not because he wanted one, but because he wanted to say no to the offer.
“I’m gonna take him to the hospital wing real quick!” Enma called.
He got a thumbs-up in return.
So, Enma helped the Heartslabyul student to his feet and maneuvered him out of the store.
But this day would not be all terrible for Enma, because he was given some very vital information:
“There’s no way this is healing in time for the game,” the Heartslabyul student bemoaned.
Enma immediately perked up, turning to look at the boy more fully.
“There’s a game?!”
#new book new format#im trying to figure out why my masterlist isn't working sh#yuu can do it!#enma yuuken#kuroki yuuya#yuu twst#grim twst#sam twst#deuce spade#ace trappola#twisted wonderland fanfic#twisted wonderland#twst#ruggie bucchi#sebek zigvolt#i like to imagine that sebek just mildly annoys most of the yuus#nothing against him personally but also dude pls they're trying to do their job
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talking further in therapy etc about dyscalculia has been interesting- basically realizing more and more what things are hard to do because of it. people want to assume on the surface that its just "math hard" but its not-- if you have ever read a bit more about dyslexia then you would know its more than just struggling to read or spell, right?
dyscalculia is just like that but its less spoken of. numbers look like nonsense symbols i dont think of as nuimeric values, 'mistakes' in easy math like subtraction/addition/etc (or just straight up not processing/solving them), able to grasp math in concept but not able to actually apply the theory, the inability of remembering any formulas, and even poor name and face retrieval.
its interesting when i add those up to various things in my life i never recognized as one of the symptoms. and i think whats extra important is reading the symptoms as "the inability to [thing]". its not like.. oh i can do some math, i cant remember every fomula but i can do some. its like, i literally cannot at all, and this was blatantly clear when i did the testing. just passed over many things bc i couldnt solve it.
didnt mean to write the above so long but what i was going to get to-- i thought a lot about the stuff i struggled to stick with hobby wise in the past. stuff i never caught on to and always felt like it was hard to do for some reason. a lot of it relates to this overall learning disorder, because of reading and listening comprehension. but something i learned that is hard to learn because of dyscalculia is... music. at first glance you wouldnt think about it, unless you have learned a lot of music. but math to some extent is used- in general... numbers are used. thats the thing. most people would think its silly that numbers alone would make it hard to learn but it really clears up my struggle with music.
and THAT is annoying as hell. i sat around for so long wondering why i just couldnt grasp it. complained to my dad who said all kinds of things about how i could learn w/o reading music, or i could learn by ear. but even that doesnt work- i still need to apply numbers to chords and even without sheet music. i struggle to listen by ear because well, listen comp is bad. i have made music, if you have followed me for a while. i have. but oof, if you knew my process you would see how my issues reflect it. i would bring up a key, like D, and pull out a screen shot of all the chords for that key. and then i would just... put notes on the piano roll. but hell if i knew the chords, remembered them, or even work on the music without that picture. i hardly remembered the key i was using the moment i looked away and i have no clue what scale i used if i open up an old song, cant identify it. i just kinda move notes around while staring at a picture.
and yeah, it works. kind of. but the workflow is hell, and the fact is that if i wanted to learn how to do it better, this whole... math disorder, actually makes it harder. you just wouldnt think about it!! i really didnt.
today in therapy discussing those learning issues, the one thing my therapist brought up was how its not uncommon for artists to have learning disabilities or more specifically, dyscalculia actually. art has nothing to do with any of my issues. no reading, no listening, no math. i self taught myself that, and continue to self teach myself, because its the one thing i could learn without any barriers. still, my issues would reflect whenever i did try to take classes- id get annoyed and not take in information, and id just go back to doing it alone.
it sure is weird, and neat, seeing puzzle pieces come together in some way. lots of "oh, thats why!" lately. understanding it is one key though, the other is now trying to solve it completly.
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Hii!!! It’s me, xuseokgyu, your Atiny secret Santa ehehe
I’m so glad you liked the gifset, I had such a great time looking for these little moments <33
Is kinda late so I can’t ramble much but I can come back to it if you want, just know that the ballet was GREAT
And oh wow that’s HUGE, the Vatican?? Have you already received a proper answer if you’ll be able to go?
I’m agnostic myself, I don’t really have a religion but I can’t say I don’t believe in some kind of higher power whatever that is… Would you mind sharing your dad’s story??
Anyway, if you’d like to take this to dms so is less exposing hahah I’m always open to chat 🥰
DMs, asks, everything's all good! I'd love to keep connected! also, is your username a combo of Seventeen members?
it's SO cute they're such little menaces. poor Seonghwa getting hit with the most antics.
I'd love to hear everything you want to share! was it a traditional performance? I love the long skirts in Giselle, I think the fabric makes the movements more dramatic and more beautiful. but on the other hand, there are so many good choreographers reinterpreting ballet recently that are amazing.
the annoying thing is that I'm good to go on their side, but the ops manager can't decide what days she wants off... like the Vatican in its massive bureaucracy has said I can be there and visit the apartments, it's a 24 year old that's cockblocking me now. it's SO important to our family (even though my dad's divorced and I'm gay, but whatever) and it's frustrating that the request has to wait on her.
I believe in the recovery idea of a higher power for sure but that's kind of where I leave it lmao
yeah, I'm so insanely proud of him I'll brag all the time lmao. in his second round with cancer the tumor was all tangled in and around a bunch of nerves. the damage from the surgery was bad, he lost use of a leg and a hand, and the doctors told him he might be reliant on a wheelchair or a brace/crutches for the rest of his life, and he told them it was cute they thought that but he'd be back on his feet. when I told my mom he'd done it, she sighed "if anyone could will himself out of paralysis, it's your dad." (obligatory statement to make it extra obvious: there was a ton of luck on top of his hard work, it's not a matter of ~not working hard enough~ that people use mobility devices)
anyway, I hope you're doing well and having a great last few days of 2022! (can you even believe????)
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Okay. Let's think about this for a moment.
Byroden, the home town where Vex and Vax were born, is several thousand miles to the Southwest of Whitestone. Elaina, their mother, was a seamstress, a profession not exactly known for traveling far distances... and thus likely lived in the region her entire life.
Laudna's parents seem to have been farmers, living on the outskirts of Whitestone. I'm not sure if I'm remembering Marisha talking about her background or if I'm remembering fanfictions I've read, but I kind of had the impression her family was fairly poor. And thus they are also unlikely to have moved far.
That said... it is possible both mothers shared joint parentage. There is always a possibility that Matilda and Vex'ahlia have a common grandfather or even great grandfather on their mothers' side... and this is in part why they bear a small resemblance to each other.
This is most unlikely. Marisha would not have come up with a biological familial link between her character and with Laura's old character (though it seems quite apparent that Marisha never told Laura about her character being "Vex'ahlia" on the Sun Tree given that the moment Laura heard Laudna telling Orym about her past, she swore out loud and was... oh, you could just see her get annoyed and she whispered "I want to throw something at her" when the pieces connected and she was "wait... she's Vex'ahlia" (and we later learn that originally Marisha had intended on having Laudna be the little girl who took Pike's place but Matt warned of unfortunate connotations, especially as a Hollow One from a child form would still be a child in form, so... violence against kids? Not a good idea.) (Remember, Marisha was not thinking of anyone having romantic thoughts toward her character. That "unfortunate connotation" never even raised its head, no doubt... though why a gnome or halfling Hollow One couldn't be used, I'm not sure).
Anyway, that's far afield. (And why I go by "Tangent" to be honest!) So yeah, from a fanfic perspective, it is entirely theoretically possible for Vex'ahlia and Matilda/Laudna to be second or third cousins. Or even in-game for that matter. And the fun thing about cousins is that sometimes they end up resembling each other. And some wandering merchant or adventurer ends up responsible for one young woman's torture by pure chance because he slept his way up the Tal'dori coast 40 to 60 years before the events of Vox Machina. And it even gives a hook as to why Vex'ahlia goes to such lengths to have this stray girl brought back to life... because she learns they are family, if distant, and yes, she would do everything she could to bring back family.
In fact, having them be related helps turn Vex'ahlia's actions from those of guilt... to that of a girl who had lost family, lost Vax... and was fucking not going to lose another one, and pays that extra cost to ensure her cousin is alive and able to live her life even if Matilda doesn't understand why this is so important to Vex'ahlia.
That might make for a sad little tale, in fact... Vex'ahlia just idly going through old records including how one Laksonssen Harrill had gotten a girl pregnant and bounced out of town and the name sticks because she remembered tales of how that name appeared for back in Byroden... with his being her mother's father or grandfather.
I mean, just a coincidence, right?
And on a whim, Vex'ahlia looks through the family tree because it might be fun to look up distant potential family here in Whitestone and... the line ends with Matilda Bradbury, slain on the Sun Tree.
A decade or so after the Sun Tree, after saving Whitestone... Delilah Briarwood managed to kill yet more family that she never knew she had. And she convinces Pike to question the Everlight and learns that Matilda is in fact kin, and where she is buried. And at this point? Percy agrees to the extra cost, to have this teenager brought back. And it works. Matilda Bradbury lives again.
Imagine what that must be like. Your last memory is being pulled up and hung from the Sun Tree. And then a woman who probably looks a little bit like her mom greets her, calls her cousin... and probably apologizes for everything that happened to her but also fiercely calling her kin... oh, and she's the Lady of Whitestone. And she wants you to live by her side, and with Lord de Rolo because it seems that the Briarwoods didn't get the entire family after all.
What's more, she is also disconnected from time. This isn't nearly as bad as being 200 years dead before being woken by an elderly man who was fulfilling a promise but no longer felt that same love as before... but even so. If it's 15 years... or 20... then we have a girl who wakes and if she does come across one of those kids who abused her or the like then... well, what can they connect over? "Remember the time you threw dirt at me? Ah, good times, good times, right?" And the poor guy is just twitching and looking nervously around while probably planning on going off to get stone drunk if he survives as he's scared she's here for revenge.
She died and Whitestone was a piece of shit, having been rotted by the Briarwoods. She wakes and Whitestone is a shining example of progress and hope, with far more people, industry, innovation... and her cousin Vex is at the right hand of it all. And hey, more cousins, once-removed, and was she brought back just to be a babysitter? Why was she brought back? She feels... out of place. Like she's... I don't know. She owes them and knows she can never repay them but at the same time knows Vex feels huge amounts of guilt and would refuse to claim any reparations for bringing back Matilda...
She flees. She has to escape. This happens probably five years after being brought back. She flees as far as she can... getting on an airship and heading to Yios and then wanders across the border to have a meeting with destiny, a young woman in her 30s meeting a beautiful and vibrant woman in her 20s and the both choosing to travel together while in search of answers. And the name she chooses for herself? Lorelei de Rolo. Because she's not ashamed of her relation to the de Rolo family (even if it's being a second or third cousin of the Lady de Rolo) and hey, Matilda might be dead, but she isn't forsaking her cousin. She just... needs a vacation. So she keeps the name.
And when Thull murders her, Vex'ahlia's cousin is brought home. Because she's family. And yes, they did not speak... but it was due to concern she did not want to be there. And yet they wanted her back.
Au where Laudna gets resurrected late and taken in by Vex and Percy, where she is as old as his daughter but the same age as him, where she is an odd mix of sister and daughter, a mirror to vex but the same hair as Cassandra. She is so obviously related but no one knows precisely how, strangers are to afraid to ask is she a cousin, a daughter, a niece, another miraculous surviving de rolo sibling, a distant relative only recently found, nobody knows for sure all anyone is that she is definitely a de Rolo of some kind.
Where Laudna is intricately connected and dearly loved part of their family but also very isolated, disconnected and outcast from Whitestone. Taken care of and provided for but in a way that only makes feel like a burden and exasperated her loneliness.
Laudna leaves thinking she will be quickly forgotten but is deeply missed instead, where they want to respect her choice and agency by letting her go but that leaves her believing she is unloved as no one comes to contact or find when she is gone. Where Laudna slips away and is impossible to find without so they let her go and hope she is safe.
Where Laudna doesn’t spend 30 alone in the woods chased from everywhere she went, but is still deeply lonely and isolated when meeting Imogen. Where she sounds like music still and saves Imogen as the run together.
Where meeting Bertrand who claims to be a member of Vox Machina that she has never heard of makes her feel as though she really knew nothing of her foster family and makes her feel further disconnected from them. Where sending his body to Whitestone makes her wish she was going with him and hearing Imogen doing a perfect impression of Vex when reading her letter makes her feel something she can’t quite identify. Where in Whitestone they get news of someone going by Lorelei de Rolo at party matching her description and are deeply relieved she’s alive and well, where she truly is de rolo but doesn’t realize it.
Only for her to finally return home dead, the bells hells mostly not knowing her connection to them, not realizing they are bringing their dead sister-daughter home. Finding out she made another family without them, meeting Imogen.
Not being able to speak at her resurrection because they don’t she would want to come back to them. Waking up home surrounded by all members of both of her families.
#critical role#vox machina#percy de rolo#vex'ahlia#laudna#imogen temult#alternate universe#critical role fanfiction#fanfiction ideas
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KNJ - Tailored To You: 0neshot
ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: ꜱᴇᴀᴍꜱᴛʀᴇꜱꜱ, ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ, ꜱᴍᴜᴛ, ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ, ᴄᴇᴏ!ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ, ꜱᴇᴀᴍꜱᴛʀᴇꜱꜱ!ᴏᴄ,
ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢꜱ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ɪᴛ ʜᴀᴅ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴏꜱᴀʟ. ʙᴜᴛ,
ʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ..
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ꜰᴏᴜʟ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ, ʀᴜᴅᴇ ʙᴇʜᴀᴠɪᴏʀ, ʙᴜʟʟʏɪɴɢ, ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴜᴀʟ ꜱᴍᴜᴛ, ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ, ᴄᴜʀꜱɪɴɢ, ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ꜱᴇx, ꜱᴘᴀɴᴋɪɴɢ, ᴅᴇɢʀᴇɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ, ᴀꜱꜱ ᴘʟᴀʏ, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍ-ᴘɪᴇ, ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ!ᴋɪɴᴋ, (ꜰ.ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴜʀʙᴀᴛɪᴏɴ), ʜɪɴᴛꜱ ᴛᴏᴡᴀʀᴅꜱ ɪɴꜰɪᴅᴇʟɪᴛʏ, ɴᴏɴ-ᴠɪʀɢɪɴ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ,
ᴇʟɪᴢᴀ'ꜱ ᴊᴏᴛ: ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ᴄʟᴇᴀɴɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ꜱᴇᴡɪɴɢ ᴅᴇꜱᴋ. ꜰᴇʟᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʙɪɢ ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ ᴄᴇᴏ ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ꜰɪᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʀᴏʟᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇꜱᴛ. ᴛʜᴇɴ, ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴏʀɪɢɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴘʟᴀɴɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ʙᴏꜱꜱ!ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ ꜰɪᴄ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɢᴜᴇꜱꜱ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ..?
ᴀꜱ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ, ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ!
Main Masterlist
Songs:
High For This
Daddy Issues
“Almost got it…” Your hands steadily attach the sticky panel meticulously to the piece of work you’d been working on the whole day. “Please please please..” You silently pray to any God who could hear the trembling in your voice, delicately pressing the panel to the bust of your masterpiece.
“And..g-”
“OMG!!!” The loud pitched squeal knocks your hand from its place, completely destroying the glue that was holding the panel to fabric. You groan, sending a death stare Sandy’s way.
“Sandra!!” Yelling, she looks back your way, mouthing a small ‘oops’ before returning to her phone. You make a b-line to where she’s leaned up against the counter, her many projects still having yet to be touched. “This puppy’s so cute!!” You snatch her phone, turning the small device off before sliding it into your jeans pocket. “HEY! Give that back, Y/n!”
“No!” You start pacing your way over to your corner of the store, continuing the project that’s due in less than 2 days. Now because of Sandra, you’ll have to practically beg the production studio to not cut your pay for tardiness.
“I said give it back!” She keeps yelling, but you ignore her whines. She scoffs, going over to sit at her work table. A mumbled word you could only assume was profanity, spoken grumpily under her breath. You happened to catch the vulgar slang, sighing at her childness.
“Bitch..”
~ ~ ~ ~~ ~
“Finally..” It took you almost 5 more hours, but the mold had finally attached to the fabric. You sigh in relief, checking the clock to make sure you’d have enough time for the rhinestones. You grab extra glue, carefully placing the jewels on with tweezers.
Ding
“Sandra” You call softly, too distracted by this tedious task.
ding
“Sandra, go help them” You repeat, eyes focused on how the expensive gems shimmer from the warm afternoon light that seeps into your workspace.
ding
“Ugh!” You frustratingly place the tweezers down, walking up to the counter to help the customer. He sports a raggedy gray tee, multiple holes punctured through the thin fabric. The man, slouched and dazed by something. The holes match his bottoms, ragged and dirty. Nevertheless, he’s still a human being.
“Hi, how can I help you?” His gaze runs over all of the costumes and pieces that decorate the store.
“A suit please.” His voice gruffed and harsh. Long stubble covers most of his lips.
You nod, calling Sandra in here -because it was her forte-
“God, you’re so annoying sometimes y/n! What do you-” She unplugs her earbuds, face contorting to disgust at the man.
“Ew..” She mumbles under her breath, switching her eyes to fixate on your own.
You embarrassingly clear your throat, silently letting her know that you’d have a very important conversation after this.
“W-what she means is ew…she has to go clean the bathrooms now-” The man doesn’t look convinced, but doesn’t say anything.
“WHAT?!” You crane your neck her way, giving a death glare. Surprisingly, she cowers down.
‘Y-yeah…Bye.” She walks back behind the sheer curtains that blocked off the customer section from employees only.
There had been silence for a second, before he had cleared his throat. “Maybe I should come back another day..” He starts to make his way to the exit.
‘No, sir! I’m so sorry for her behavior.” You follow, trying to stop the man. You’d felt really bad after the introductions, you had to make it up to him somehow.
“It’s okay young lady..I’ll just come back later. I need to clean up apparently..” His voice sounds very saddened.
‘Please sir, she didn’t mean it. There’s nothing wrong with how you look, I promise. I feel terrible for her behavior. I’ll make sure to properly set her straight later..” That last part you had mumbled, hoping to keep it to yourself. He’d heard. He meets your eyes, your hand unconsciously wrapped around his forearm. He felt built..
He thinks for a second, and nods. “No, she’s right. I probably do smell..” He sadly chuckles, keeping the gaze you have between you two.
“Please… Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” He stops. A nervous energy settles into the store. Wrapping around you the most, like a possible poisonous snake.
After a few seconds, he shakes his head, continuing to walk out.
You felt terrible. How could Sandra not even treat this man with at least a little respect!??! You’re pissed now. Not only had she lost a customer, disrespected him, she just dragged the whole store’s reputation. She practically treated him like a pile of dirt.
By this time, you’re furious.
You make your way to the back of the store, seeing Sandra scrolling Tik Tok using your computer. What. The. Fuck. No, you’ve had it. You stand in front of the desk, slamming the device shut. “Hey! What gives!?”
“What gives!? Your behavior, Sandra!” She stands, pushing her chair out from up under her. The piece of metal making a huge screeching sound across the concrete floors.
“It was unacceptable! First, I tell you to start on the plastic ties for Miss Calthy’s dress form, you ignore me. Second, you just disrespected a customer, no, A HUMAN BEING just because you can’t learn how to SHUT IT.”
She looks shocked from your sudden burst of emotions.
“I don’t care if you came from fucking LOUIS VITTON. That’s NOT how you treat someone! Especially the elderly!” Your words pushed her into a corner, tears starting to well in her eyes. You stop, finally taking on a calmer disposition.
‘Look, I can’t fire you. But, if you don’t clean up your act and start actually working, I’m going to file a listless complaint to Mr.Kim.” Her eyes go cartoon-wide at your words. She falls to the ground, begging on her knees.
“N-no! Please Y/n, I-I promise I’ll be better! Please don’t tell him!” She weakly crawls over to the broom and dust pan, making quick of her poor job of sweeping. “L-look I-I’m cleaning like you said!” Tears still swelling in her ducts. You fold your arms across your chest, sighing.
This was pitiful.
The weaker side of you gets the best “Fine. But you’d better keep your word” She nods uncontrollably, smiling while still crying. “Thank You! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” She hugs you tightly.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Interesting..” He pulls away from the tall brick wall, peeling himself from the gum filled plank. He slides his phone back into his eaten-away pocket, a small smile presses his lips.
“She’ll do wonderfully.”
______________________________________________________________
Ding
The first time Baek-hyun had introduced you and Sandra both, she had this puppy-like innocence to herself. Well she did hold up to her puppy side. Leaving messes everywhere she went, cups, food, and even snotty tissues across your workspace. A customer had to even come to you, complaining on how she would try taking selfies with the ‘hot’ men who were about to get married. As the manager, you actually had called your company’s label, asking for a listless complaint sheet. They told you to wait a few days. It’s been almost a year. You’d given up, submitting to the fact that she was now in your everyday life, and that you’ll just have to deal with it.
The ding of the front door alerted another presence once more. “Sandra, get it, I’m bu-”
“On it!” She rushed past your focused self, rushing to get the door for the person. Well, she definitely has changed for the better. Let’s hope it stays like this.
“Welcome to Kim’s secret wor-” You heard her stop the introduction. You sigh.
It might be another ‘not 10’ according to Sandra. you thought.
“Sandra what’d I tell you about being ni-” You stop. A man dressed in a Chanel dress suit, gold cuffs accentuating the slim wrists he possessed. His waist, cinched perfectly to hug his built figure. He looked.. Wo-
“Ah, there she is.” He makes his way over to your stunned self, meeting to look in your eyes. Sandra had been just as stunned. “Miss..” He glances at your nametag.
“Miss Y/n.” He gets a taste of your name on his tongue, liking the feeling of it.
“Can I help you sir?” You ask, trying to maintain your professional demeanor.
“Actually, I can help you. Can we…” He glances back at Sandra, who’s been making googly eyes at him for the past ten minutes.
“Talk somewhere private, please?” You didn’t know who this man was. A sales rep? No, he would’ve gone through Mr. Kim. Landlord? No, they would’ve contacted headquarters for that. Loan sharks?!?!
Your mind races with possibilities, which haven't been the best outcomes.
“Miss Y/n?” He calls again, finally pulling you out of your own head.
“Y-yes..Uh. In the back, here.” He nods, following your movements while holding a hand up to Sandra, silently demanding that she does not follow you two.
“Lucky bitch…” She mumbles, while going to grab the broom.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You immediately start apologizing, What had you been sorry for though?
“I’m so sorry sir I-” She starts chuckling at your speed.
‘Sorry? What are you sorry for?” You pause, not really knowing. He smiles, pulling a chair out from up under the metal table that you usually take lunch at, motioning for you to sit. You oblige.
He takes a seat, starting off. “About the other day-”
Oh God. The man went to HQ about us!! He’s probably gunna fire me for having an insufficient employee. I knew Sandra would make us go-
“What? No, no. I’m not here to fire you, Y/n.” His words stop your spiraling train of thought. If he’s not here to fire me… then what happened the other day..?
“I’m here to propose a job to you. A task, really.” You nod, your heart starting to slow down. His voice was very soothing and calm. His blonde hair making the whole black-on-black choice, insufferable. He looked good enough to eat.
What?! Stop it, Y/n! You just met him! He might even just want money!!
“So, what do you think?”
“Wa-..huh? I-I’m sorry..” He chuckles, continuing the proposal.
“I would like you to be my wife.”
______________________________________________________________
“Your..what??” You stand up, not believing what he'd just proposed.
AH! Not proposed, y/n!!
“Not a wife, but a partner. See-” He gently tells you to sit back down, motioning for you to calm down. Once he sees that you’re a little more calm, he starts again.
“You see, our company needs a female representative for the face of ‘allure’. With me being a man, people would assume I’m gay.” He chuckles at the ridiculous thought.
“But my assistant said the best rep would be someone people could trust. And from what I saw yesterday..”
He leans forward, you finally being able to process the woodsy-vanilla scent cologne he modeled.
“I saw your beauty from both sides.” His chocolate eyes meet yours, soft spoken and tranquility is the only thing you feel and hear.
“You wanted to see my face from both sides..?” He laughs at your ridiculous answer.
“Well, I can obviously see that as of now, but what I meant is that I saw your beauty on both the outside, when we first met, and inside, when you had been so kind to me. Wanting to do anything to make it up to me.” Your brows furrow. Then, it hits you.
“You..you were the old man..?” He leans back, hand on his chest, playfully acting offended.
“Did I really look that old?” You shake your head furiously, mentally hitting yourself for insulting the head of your company. “No! No! That’s not what I meant- I’m so sorry-” He laughs, fixing his posture once more.
“Relax, Y/n. I was only joking. Well, I had only not shaved for a couple days..” his words trail off.
“That’s not the point. The point is; You’re obviously a beautiful and kind woman, and I'd like to represent my company.”
______________________________________________________________
After the whole shock session that had happened only a few hours before, you had politely walked him to the front door. Before you could kindly kick him out -of his own fucking store, idiot- he had smiled, meeting your eyes.
“I’ll be in touch.”
Pssh. He’ll be in touch. Yeah right. He’ll probably go to the office tomorrow and see a woman ten times prettier than you could ever be. He’ll forget about you in just a few hours.
That’s what they all do.
______________________________________________________________
The office couldn’t look any more luxurious. Monochromatic colors filled the room, along with golden massage chairs for the higher ups, with a …holy shit.
This office had a mother fucking swimming pool.
Psh. Rich people, you thought.
Your hands are now shaking even more from the Mcdonald’s one dollar coffee you had sparingly picked up on the way here. Now you’re wishing you would’ve taken that girl’s offer for their coffee. You could probably sell it online or something, Make a few good bu-
“Miss y/n, welcome.” A familiar voice stops your thoughts, now examining his newly pressed suit. It looked like heaven. The hems are perfectly aligned with each other. The suede black textiles hug his frame like a woman putting on her favorite body-con dress. Each stitch obviously being hand-sewn with tiny embroidered details letting every onlooker know that this was their work of art.
That suit was a seamstress’s dream.
You lift from the couch, eagerly holding your hand out for a handshake.
Let’s be honest. It wasn’t a nice gesture from you. You’d actually wanted to feel the stitching on his sleeve. Pathetic you thought.
“Uh, yes. I did.” He flashes a professional smile, starting to stride alongside you.
‘Well then, follow me.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
If the office for employees was crazy, his own was insane.
A bright golden chandelier hangs from the ceiling. Dress forms of all shapes and sizes align the big window that looks out to the other 100 foot high skyscrapers. Purple accents dance along the edges of his desk, mixing along with an L shaped piece attached.
Holy. FUCK.
“Holy fucking shit balls!!” His eyes widen at your sudden foul language usage, until he starts laughing at the reason.
“Is this THE Singer machine that created the most beautiful dresses in the WORLD??!” He chuckles, walking over to meet your fascinated state.
“You’re a follower of Walter Plukett?” You nod, smiling while silently asking if you could touch the beautiful work of art. He nods, allowing permission for you to fan.
“Not just Walter Plukkett, but his whole creation sets for Gone With The Wind movie! Along with The Most Dangerous Game! I LOVED these growing up!” Your hands carefully trance along the worn metal, weary to not impose any damage to the old machine.
“I see. I had picked it up from a random auction one day. Didn’t know it was actually something..”
“It’s more than just something! This machine was caressed by the hands of the greatest designer for the film industry!” He leans down, shrugging, seeming unamused.
‘Looks like any other sewing machine from the 1930s to me.” He walks over to his desk, taking a seat, studying how your face lights up even brighter every time you see a new component to the machine.
“How can you be a billionaire seamstress but not know the history! That’s like making a movie without knowing who invented the first camera! Which by the way was; Louis Le Prince and Johann Zahn” He chuckles, leaning back in his chair to study your moves.
Cute. he thought.
“God, this machine created some of the best dresses for its time.. How can people just throw that history away??” You mumble, still fascinated by the old antique.
He clears his throat, finally pulling your attention away from it.
“Y/n? Can we get started now?” You contemplate. Him, or this beauty.
Wait y/n.. He pays your rent, dumbass. Obviously you’ve gotta-
“Uh…well..”
IDIOT. HE’LL FIRE YOU FOR THIS.
“That’s alright, take your time. You must really like history as well?” You nod, thanking him for the wonderful opportunity. You start talking, not knowing for sure to whom though. Your thoughts are just being too grand to keep inside.
He wasn’t complaining at all. Your voice sounded like an angel to him. The way your black pencil skirt wrapped around your protruding hips has the back of his throat drying up, needing to clear his airway, But, he just can’t help it. Your knowledge beyond anyone else’s in the company has him so intrigued. How long have you been studying Walter’s work? What’s your favorite of his? Are you single-
“Alright, I’m ready.” He pulse from his trance, nodding to the papers placed in front of you.
‘These are the terms and agreements for this… arrangement.” He clears his throat, loosening the tie which had suddenly become very constricting. You glance up through your eyelashes, something that had definitely not gone unnoticed on his end.
‘And… what is this arrangement exactly?” Lifting the glass to his lips, quenching his thirst.
‘This is not the time, Namjoon’ He thinks.
“Just a proposal. Nothing within legality. We won’t actually be married.. not unless you wish to..” That last part he hoped had gone unnoticed by you.
It wasn’t.
‘So, I can still date whomever I want?” He pauses. No, he doesn’t want to see another man hanging all over you! Hold hands, kissing you, sleeping in your bed-
‘Yes.” He dryly gets out, before his jealousy gets the best of him.
“Okay.” You reply, too focused on the documents to make sure there’s no funny business going on.
Once you’re done, you slide the paperwork back over to his side. He grabs then, knocking them on the table once to straighten them all out neatly.
“One question;” He nods, closing the drawer of his desk, giving you all ears.
‘Why me?”
He stops. Smile, lessening a bit. She’s right. Why her? He had many candidates lined up outside his door for weeks..why her?
“Because you’re my ideal type.”
WAIT NO- FUCKING IDIOT
His eyes blow up, shaking his head repeatedly.
“No! I mean you’re the COMPANY’S ideal type! Not Mine! Well I mean you’re very gorgeous- Not that I only look at physical attributes! I admire everything about a woman’s physique- SHIT” You adorable laugh cuts him off. Leaning over, you couldn’t help but laugh at his clumsiness.
“I understand. Thank You for the clarification.” He shyly nods, wanting the whole earth to swallow him whole.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“So I’ll see you tomorrow?” You pause the clicking of your heels. “For..?”
‘We’ve got a branding session tomorrow at 3. I’ll get my assistant to send you the details.” You nod, waving him bye as you make your way out.
______________________________________________________________
“Great! Looks amazing, Mrs. Kim! Yes, now to the left- Perfect!” These black heels had been killing your feet for the last 5 hours of shooting. He said a branding session. Not a photo session. Little prick-
“What do you think, Mr.Kim?” The photographer pans the camera screen to Namjoon, a soft nod is confirmation he needs to continue. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she Pierre?” The photographer smiles, continuing to snap photos of you. “One of the best models I’ve worked with. She’s a natural.” That makes you internally blush, not being able to handle all the candy-rotting sweetness.
Thankfully, the buzzing of Namjoon’s phone stops the session, giving you a break to sit down in a nearby chair.
A few sips of water later, and he clicks his phone off, signaling you that everything’s okay.
“That was Mr. Arnault” Your eyes blow wide.
“You mean Bernard Arnault!? The HEAD of Louis Vuitton??” Namjoon nods, sliding his phone to the inner part of his suit.
“We’re collabing on a piece together this winter, and he asked me personally to showcase it in his next show, but…” His voice treads at the end, softening the more he talks.
“But..?”
Sighing, he takes a seat next to yours. “I’ll be in Paris that time around. We’re trying to reschedule but he’s really persistent.” You couldn’t believe that your ‘husband’ is so desired by so many luxury companies.
‘Well…Why not move the showing to Paris. That way, you can be at the show and the meeting at the same time.” His eyes light up, standing quickly.
“Wonderful idea, y/n! Bernard’s always been a sucker for France anyways. Thank You, love” He kisses your cheek before hurrying off to schedule everything, leaving you with burning cheeks.
______________________________________________________________
“Phew…glad for that to be over..” You step out of the ridiculously high heels -remembering to praise models and Bella Poarch for doing that for hours, later- turning the knob on your shower. The warm water feels so soothing to your aching muscles.
*ring*
“Ugh..come on..” You step out of the bathroom, wrapping a towel around your frame. Pulling the door open, you see a familiar face standing in the doorway. This time, he’s sporting just a gray tee and basketball shorts. Still, none the less attractive.
“Oh.. sorry. Is this a bad time?” He motions to your choice of outfit.
“Shit! Sorry-” you run quickly, letting him in while going to turn the shower off and putting on a quick choice of clothes. Once you’re decent, you join him in your apartment’s living room.
“How’d you find this place?” You question, adding along if he wanted something to drink.
“No thank you, and I had pulled your files from the employees section.” He takes a seat on the couch, observing the room more intensely.
Of course he could find where you lived. He’s your boss.
“Oh..right.” You play with the hem of your oversized tee, not knowing what to do with your boss literally standing right in your living room.
“So.. what are you doing here?” He looks up to meet your gaze, sporting the awkwardness that engulfs you both.
“I’m here to help pack your things.”
“I’m sorry … what?” For the third time that day, you’re shocked. What does he mean, pack your things!?
“Well, since we’re ‘married’ it would only be right to move in together. And-” He looks around your apartment, an unfamiliar look creeps his expression.
“I think my place would be the best option.”
“And you just decided that I wanted to move in with you?” He slumps down, a little hurt by your words.
“Well I.. thought that you’d..” You interrupt him.
“Yeah, you didn’t think. If you haven’t noticed, I quite like my ‘not best option’ of a place. Sure it doesn’t have an indoor swimming pool or jacuzzi, but it’s my home!” Your anger is starting to peek through.
“Y/n, please calm down. I was only suggesting, I would never force you to move in with me. I just thought that since you said your lease is almost up, that’d it be the best option.” His voice is still calm and collective, unlike his clammy, sweaty hands.
“How’d.. How do you know that my lease is almost up?”
He pulls his phone from his pocket, showing you an app on his home screen.
“Because I own the building you work in? I have cameras everywhere- not for perverse things though! It’s just so we don’t have any incidents with employees. You know, because some like to..ahem..” He clears his throat, shifting to support his weight on the other leg.
“Do some certain activities during a shift. It’s just to prevent a lawsuit, that’s all.”
“Then if it’s just cameras, how’d you listen to what I said?” His face turned a light shade of pink from being caught.
“Our..cameras also have an option for audio recordings as well. I just happened to be looking for something, and you popped up on screen instead.”
“Huh.” You mentally laugh. He obviously was lying, but you haven't done anything embarrassing at the store, so you let it slide.
“Give me a few days, okay?” He nods, walking to the front door, making himself leave before he embarasses himself even more.
“See you then?” He asks, turning to walk out.
You flash him a sweet smile. “See you then, boss.”
He chuckles at the given nickname.
______________________________________________________________
“Ugh” You groan, tossing to your right side, trying to get some much needed sleep. However, your mind had much better ideas.
“Aish! Shut it, stupid thoughts!” You yell out, frustrated at your brain’s sudden liking to activity at night.
How long has it been..?
Too long.
Something in the back of your mind answers your own question. Sighing, you give into the temptations on the promise of actually sleeping tonight. You reach into your nightstand drawer, pulling the small black item from its encased little box discreetly hiding in the back.
You trail your hand down your torso, silently crying to the sudden pressure applied to your aching clit.
Yep. Definitely too long.
You cup your hand on your mouth, trying to silence the small whines and cries your body can’t help but release. Images of hot celebrities fill your mind quickly. Ryan Renyolds, Dwayne Johnson, Chris Hemsworth, until your mind drifts to a certain face. You couldn’t really tell who it was, but you decided to use them to indulge in your sultry acts. Imagining riding their cock so deeply, breasts bouncing up and down, making your force on his body ample in roughness. Deep groans emit from his chest, whines bubble up in the back of your throat. Speaking of throat, you switch the image to him pinning you to your bed, one hand around your neck squeezing it firmly.
“F-fuck..” You moan, legs beginning to shake from the buzzing sensation that’s been applied to your clit. This time, you’re tossing and turning for different reasons.
His sandy blonde hair hangs above your figure, brushing the top of your forehead as he pounds into you at God's-speed. Him telling you how dirty of a little slut you are; or better yet- begging you to let him cum inside of your pretty pussy, creaming your smooth, velvet-like walls. His own hand, replacing yours that’s been mercilessly abusing your poor clitorus for the past what feels like hours. Probably only around two minutes though.
“Oh- God!”
“Yeah, you like that baby? My cock splitting this little pussy open so well? Hmm? You wanna cum? Tell me darling, tell me what you want. Look how dirty my girl is, huh? Being so good for daddy. You gonna cum, sweetheart? Come on, show daddy how well you can cream his cock. Gunna fill you up so well, be my own fucking cream filled donut. Hell, maybe if I’m lucky enough, you’d get big and swollen with my children. Huh, you’d like that baby? You wanna have my babies? I bet you do, dirty whore. Gonna get you nice and pregnant. We’re gunna have such beautiful babies, y/n- fuck.” He finally looks up through sweaty brows. The blur of his face now clearing to reveal-
N-namjoon!??!
“HOLY FUCK!” You scream out, not giving a rat’s ass who’d hear. Your breaths now calming down from such an intense high. The toy now feels like pins and needles against you from every stimulation. Quickly turning the vibrating object off, throwing it somewhere on your bed, you lay flat on your sheets. That had to be one of the best orgasms you’ve had in forever. But-
You just came to your boss’s face.
______________________________________________________________
“And we’ll be adding a second store right on the corner of 5th and areche.” The dulling sounds of pen against paper, and a man showing graph charts couldn’t be less of a bore. Your legs, swinging from side to side nonchalantly under the table.
“Sounds good, everyone?” They all nod, no one being opposed to Namjoon’s idea. Once the area is all cleared out, Namjoon starts packing up his briefcase, neatly stacking papers on the inside pouch of the case.
“You ready to go, y/n?” He asks, glancing over at your dazed state.
“Uh, what? Oh. Yeah.” You excitedly stand up, packing your things as well.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Looks delicious, thank you.” He kindly thanks the waiter, before taking a sip of his wine. “Everything alright, y/n? You look a little off..” You straighten your posture, nodding to confirm his answer. “I’m okay. Just..” You sigh, letting the silverware in both of your hands, rest on the untouched plate.
“Just..?” He presses, leaning forward so it doesn’t feel like you must yell it to get his attention.
‘I just couldn’t sleep last night, that’s all.” He smiles, cutting into his steak.
“That’s because I wasn’t there, darling” He teases, taking a bite of the juicy meat slice.
You chuckle at his stupidity, lifting your glass to take a few sips.
“I’m serious. Like- something wouldn’t let my mind calm down. It felt like I was on a rollercoaster.” He hums, tilting his head to ponder a solution.
‘Why not try some soothing music?” You shake your head.
“I’ve already tried. And bird, ocean, and rainforest sounds. I even took 3 melatonin gummies! Nothing would shut this thing up.”
“Hmm. Maybe it’s stress? Your deadline is coming up soon for your place.”
You shake your head again.
“I don’t think that’s it. Besides, I’m planning on moving in with you.” His face lights up, but not with a happy emotion. More so … mysterious.
He leans in, a hushed voice soon taking over his normally deep and calm one.
“Maybe.. I’m the reason you’re up all night.” He smirks, continuing to eat more of his food. Your face flushes a light pink tint. Well… he’s not all wrong..
He leans back, resuming his normal happy demeanor. “I’m just joking”
“Oh.. hah.” Is all you can reply with. His eyebrows raise in suspicion.
“Y/n.. A-” The phone ringing in his suit pocket cuts his sentence off.
“I’ll be right back” You nod, as he stands to make his way towards a quieter place of the restaurant.
______________________________________________________________
“Is that all?” You nod, looking around to your now completely bare apartment. You hadn’t decided to bring up your restless nights anymore since a few days ago at the restaurant Of course this is all just business.
“Alright, let’s head out.” You follow suit behind him, stepping into his luxury car.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“This is your room” The ‘room’ has been bigger than three of your dinky apartments combined.
One wall, just filled to the brim with cabinets and wardrobes. The bathroom connected with the room. A huge porcelain tub sits inside the huge glass encased shower; omg it has a rain shower head!
“I know it’s a little small but my apartment’s pretty messy right now. I’ll be clearing out a room for us to coincide with projects in.” You nod, mouth still on the floor from the level of detail everything was in. A huge golden and glass chandelier hangs about the tub, adjacent to the marble-stone countertops, with gold accents trimmed along the edges. So. Much. White.
“Well..I’ll leave you to it.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Once you’d finish unpacking all of your boxes, you glance over to the huge clock that had come from your old apartment.
2am.
Holy shit- When did it get so late?? You’re probably keeping Namjoon up by making all of this ruckus!
You turn off all the lights, tip-toeing to the kitchen to grab a quick bite. An illuminating light comes from up under another door across from the living room. Didn’t Namjoon say that he’s just across the hall?
You silently walk over, cracking the door open a bit to take a peek inside.
There sat Namjoon. White button up shirt -now unbuttoned down by two- paired with the trousers he’d been sporting earlier. Usually style and slicked back hair, now messy and tousled. He had been conversing on the phone with someone in a language you didn’t speak.
“Bien, merci bien pour tout ton soutien, Pierre. Oui. Bonsoir” He tosses his phone to the huge king sized bed which had sat in the middle of the room. It’s like the decor came straight out of a piece of art.
Namjoon goes to sit on the edge of his bed, taking a sip from the circular glass he’d already downed around three times now. He sighs, falling backwards onto the comfy sheets.
“Are you just going to stand there the rest of the night?” He asks nonchalantly, taking your aback.
“I..I’m sorry- I thought you were sleeping..” He chuckles.
“I never sleep, only rest my eyes.” He says, grabbing another glass, motioning you to come sit down.
“So. I’m guessing you’ve finished unpacking?” You nod, thankfully taking the glass from him.
“Thank You..” Silence creeps over like rain upon a flowery meadow.
Has he always looked this tired?
You take a few glances around his room, studying all of the different pieces carefully put together.
“You’ve got really good taste..” You mumble, not expecting him to hear.
“I should. Put me to shame for being a fashion designer and not having good taste” He jokes, sipping from his glass, before setting it down next to yours.
“True.. it was a stupid thing to say. Sorry I’m dumb..” He turns to meet your gaze, bringing his hand to gently lift your eyes to meet his.
“It was not stupid.” Your breaths slowly mix together, a certain type of taste could be relished.
‘And if you ever call yourself stupid again, I won’t hesitate to tie you to this bed and spank sense into you.” He smirks, taking the glass from your hands, placing it on his side of the seat.
Your breath catches in your lungs at his choice of wording. Did he really mean it? He wouldn’t actually do that, would he? You’re just one of his employees.. He doesn’t like it like tha-
“Y/n..” His voice softens, trying to coerce you out of your spiraling state much like the first time you met.
“Y/n, it was just a joke.” He chuckles.
‘You’ve got to learn how to take a joke '' He smiles, laughing at your flustered face.
‘That’s mean..” you mumble. He raises his eyebrows.
‘How?”
“You don’t just tease someone like that. That’s like saying; I’ll suck your dick-” You cut yourself off from embarrassment
Too late.
Your eyes catch his, seeing a new look glinting behind them.
“Well, I never said I wouldn’t follow through with it..” His voice changes to a hushed whisper tone, making the room even more sultry than it had previously been.
“Me neither..” You admit, scooting closer to his side, laying a hand onto his thigh.
You’d never been this brave before. With anyone. But… something about Namjoon had made you want him to submit to you.
Both sets of eyes not daring to break the spell you’d both casted on each other. Lust, growing impatient with every ticking second. His pants tightening against the fabric of his trousers, indicating his arousal even more.
“Y/n.. we should..” You press your lips to his, quieting his attempts to reject the tension. He immediately tenses under your touch, hands leaving a fiery blazing trail wherever your hands could grasp onto. Lips crashing into one another like waves upon a seaside shore. Both, fighting for dominance.
His hand travels up the back of your graphic tee, resting the palm of his hands against the dips of your hips. Ever so slightly squeezing bits and pieces of your skin along the way. Your hips dig impatiently into the fronts of his trousers, His own, meeting you in unison.
“N-namjoon..” You wantonly moan against the flushed flesh of his mouth, his own desire returning the sound.
His hands dip even lower, reaching into the front of your underwear, rubbing gent;e circles against the throbbing bud. The other, coming to clasp around your breast, messaging the soft, plush flesh, tweaking your nipple between his thumb and index. His motions earn louder sounds from your side. His lips trail down your neck, sucking deep marks into the fleshy bit, before sliding your shirt over your frame.
“No bra?” He pants, examining your physique.
You shake your head. “I was about to go to bed..” He chuckles, resuming his motions, this time, lips meeting the protruding bud of your breast, taking it between his teeth.
“O-oh shittt” You throw your head back, an old friendly feeling coming back into your core.
“You like that?” Shit. His voice sounded exactly how you’d imagined that night.
Your hips rock gently against his, increasingly harder by each passing minute. Your entire breast almost soaked from his tongue.
‘F-fuck..Just like that.” His hips grind against your own, his hands grabbing handfuls of your ass through your thin sweatpants.
“Off.” His deep voice commands, flipping you onto your back. He makes quick work of the belt tucked loosely around his hips. He lifts your wrists to hug the metal Xs on his headboard.
“Are you okay with this?” You crane your neck upwards, checking out his neat work on your wrists. Now, being belted to his headboard.
“Mhm.” He slaps the outside of your thigh.
‘Imma need words for this, baby” You smirk, teasing the bulge of his trousers with your knee.
‘Yes daddy.”
He smirks, tightening the belt around your wrist.
“Good girl.”
Hooking his fingers around the thin materials, he easily removes both your sweatpants and underwear in one fine swoop. The cold air brushing against your core has your thighs clenching.
“The first time I walked in the store..” He tells, while lowering his face to kiss just above your public bone. Moving lower with each soft kiss to your skin.
“I wanted to taste this pussy for so long, baby” He mumbles, yanking your hips down to meet his eyes.
“To know how you taste.” He slides the tip of his finger past your folds, a slight squelching sound fills the silence.
‘To know how it feels when you’re wrapped around me” You moan, his thumb coming up to toy with your throbbing bud. Soft circles rubbed against the aching muscle.
“God, I’ve barely touched you and you’re already wet. Tell me darling” He grabs hold of your panties, opening your mouth forcefully to shove them inside. The sensation is new, nonetheless even more of a turn on.
``You a virgin baby?” You shake your head.
“Naughty baby” He licks a slow stripe up your core, making you moan against the slightly wet material that had been so forcefully shoved in your mouth.
“How dare you let another man inside this sweet pussy.” His voice is deep, a growl threatening to escape if he doesn’t get satiated soon.
“Looks like I’m going to have to punish you, kitten.”
His tongue immediately dives deep past your folds, the strong muscle making circles along the inside of your slick walls. You throw your head back against the headboard, not caring if you had accidentally hit it. The pleasure was far more overpowering than the paint you’d felt.
His thumb trails up to draw figure eights against your bud, moans slipping from the crack of the cotton material shoved down your throat.
You were so close. Practically being able to taste your release. His thumb, tongue and fingers were more than enough to juice you of all your worth. Your legs wrapped around his head so tightly, you might think you’d accidentally pop his head like a pimple. But, he stays put, using both of his strong arms to push your thighs apart. A string of saliva and your juices hangs from his swollen lips.
“As much as I’d like to die by these thighs right now, you still haven’t received your punishment.” His smirk is dark and hell-iously tempting. This man was the epitome of ‘sin’.
You wanted to do anything. Touch anything just to cum. But alas, your hands were tied. Literally.
“Cum on my tongue baby girl. I know you want to. You can do it, come on” His words of encouragement are all you need to send you over the edge. Like a rollercoaster about to drop down the hugely inclined rails. But-
His smirk is one only the devil portrays well enough. Dark, lustful eyes meet you halfway. You scream out of frustration, wanting nothing more than to come on his tongue like he said.
“Sorry darling. That was for sleeping with other men besides me.” You almost have tears in your eyes at his words.
‘And this,” He unties your wrists. Before you could jump him, he flips you around once more, bending you over his knee.
“Is for teasing me this whole fucking time.” One firm slap is applied to your bare ass. You yelp in shock -and pleasure- from the impact.
“nnmmjoon!” He continues to spank your ass, hard. Every smack though, earns you a soft bottom rub while he whispers to you;
“That’s my good girl. Taking your punishment so well,”
Smack.
“It’s alright, love. I’ve got you. It’s almost over.”
Smack.
“You’re liking this, huh? Getting spanked by daddy so hard. I bet you could cum just by this.”
Smack.
“You’re doing so well, baby. Being so good for daddy. Can’t wait to fill you up after this.”
Smack.
“You dirty little slut. I’m gunna fuck you so hard you’ll forget every man’s name you’ve ever met. Only having my name in your mouth, got it?”
You can only lay still and take it like his; good, dirty slut..
You’re confused, horny, on the verge of crying, and you just want his dick now. Once you feel the final ass rub, he carefully leans you up, helping you slowly lay back down on the bed. His kisses trail all the way down your chest, hot puffs of air rests before a chilling cool air mixes them both.
“You did so well, baby. Such a good girl for daddy. Do you want your reward now?” He questions, but you’re too exhausted to answer. His voice, now a lot more soothing and calm, questions.
“Do you wanna go to sleep now?” You immediately sit up.
“NO! Pl-Please!” He looks up at you through glassy eyes. Somehow, you both are modeling the same dirty look in each other’s eyes.
“What do you want me to do, love? I need words, honey”
“F-fuck me! Please!” He nods, quickly stripping himself of the boxers he’d been wearing.He reaches over to his nightstand drawer, opens a square packet to slide it over his cock.
Before you could finish your sentence, he slides his cock in between your folds, already throbbing from how tightly your cunt is wrapped around his cock.
“F-fucking s-shit, y/n- You’re so tight, baby” After a few pauses, his thrust began to commence, sending you both into a loud stream of moans and groans, while skin slapping together mix in harmony. You tightly wrap your legs around his waist, not losing a second to begin to match his pace.
‘S-shit y/n.. Y-you’re gonna be the death of me” He chuckles, never missing a beat. Your hands finding the beginnings of his roots, fisting around them for support. Switching back and forth between scratching the living hell out of his shoulders and back, and almost ripping his hair out from such force.
“Fuck baby!” His lips came to catch yours, a heated makeout sesh was just what the doctor ordered for the cream filled pastry to be made. His switch positions, throwing you on top of his own body, making you ride him the rest of the way.
‘Fucking cum with me, baby” his hips thrust up to match your own pace, set to accord.
“F- ComING!-” Your breaths are now slowly coming to a controlled pattern. His sweat drips from his forehead onto your cheeks. His body lays limp on top of your own. His backside now has bruises in straight lines. Once he’s gained a little energy, he leans up to trail sloppy open mouthed kisses along your neck. The intimate act is not going unnoticed.
Before long, his back bedroom door swings open. A woman standing around 5’9 stalks the frame. Black bags and sunglasses sport her look.
“What the fuck Namjoon!!”
_____________________________________________________________
©Sweethearthigh 2022. No copying, translations, or modifications of any kinds without my consent.
#BTS namjoon fic#bts namjoon smut#KNJ#kim namjoon smut#RM smuts#namjoon x yn#kim namjoon smuts#bangtan#bts kim namjoon
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