#i could engage with other people for a whole profession!!!!!

[b-blushes]

i feel like in the last year i'm really, like, meeting myself if that makes sense? which is a really wild experience. like, i'm suddenly realising that perhaps what i thought of as immutable personality-trait Shyness was in fact Severe Clinical Anxiety as the aftermath of/alongside being autistic for nearly two decades without knowing it and Struggling with it, and i'm learning all kinds of things about my me! I've been to two groups for people with some of the health stuff i have over the last year, one a long-term hospital program and the other a fun thing, and i'm suddenly able to not only confidently and competently talk in front of a group but also, like, have a personality??? :P I was at one of the groups earlier today, realising i could straight up talk about my first impressions of an artwork i was seeing in front of everyone (mostly total strangers I'd only met minutes before) and i got home and was suddenly like HELLO?!!?!?!? I can just straight up DO this?! the main two thoughts i've had on realising this are 1. huh that kind of sucks! wild to have lived most of my life unable to kind of, like, develop much identity/self-knowledge of what i *did* like/think because i was So So Afraid In General! 2. if i had physical energy to go along with this i would be *such* a menace >:) which on one hand is kind of sad, but on the other hand it's like *looking at myself with awed wonder* there's things in my me???

NICE!

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

What do you make of the moment when Kate shrugged William's hand on a Christmas show in 2019? The sugars use this to show how they actually hate each other, but I've always thought Kate just reacted immediately because they never did PDA and she was caught by surprise, as in to say "what are you doing? we're working"

I've been following the BRF since the Sussex drama, so I don't have decades the reflect on, but from what I've seen, it really seemed there was a no PDA rule. They also appeared much stuffy, even towards each other, with Kate standing straighter, making sure she was walking behind William, often keeping her hands in front of her as if to protect herself. But the last years, the seem more at ease in public, allowing some hands on the back here and there. And I've actually been wondering if H&M overdoing it with the PDA meant the BRF could actually relax a bit and allow some touching without looking unprofessional.

There isn’t a “no PDA” rule. The rule is that everyone is expected to be professional at work. And PDA - over the top PDA like the Sussexes - is not professional behavior in any industry, in any profession, in any country in the world.

William and Kate are affectionate and playful with each other. They always have been, long before Meghan had Harry in her claws:

Before their engagement: L - Graduating St. Andrews in 2005 C - Saying hello at polo in 2006 R - Paparazzi catching them making out. Date unknown, suspected sometime 2009 (based on William's hair).

Newlyweds: L - Canada, July 2011 C - Edinburgh, July 2011 R - London Olympics 2012

Early Parenthood: L - Christmas Walk, December 2013 C - Commonwealth Games in Glasgow, July 2014 R - Rugby World Cup, September 2015

Before the Love Bomb: L - Hiking in India, April 2016 (there's a well-known story from royal reporters on the India trip that William and Kate were close and affectionate until they spotted the reporters and photographers. Once they saw the royal rota, they immediately separated and became more formal/professional.) C - Private family ski trip, February 2016 R - Canada, September 2016

Before Meghan made her official debut with Harry and the BRF: L - Heads Together awareness event, February 2017 R - Wimbledon Men's Final, July 2017

And no, I didn't see "the incident" as Kate shrugging off William's hand because it was PDA. I see that moment as Kate adjusting her position in her seat and William briefly touching her. If you watch the clip, you'll notice that Kate's whole body wiggles; her shoulders, her trunk, and her legs. William just happened to touch her in that same moment. If she was shrugging him off, if she was recoiling from his touch, only her shoulder would have moved. It was a harmless, normal moment that happens to everyone.

Others may see it differently, and that's fine.

Harry and Meghan overdoing it with the PDA didn't open any doors for anyone to be more affectionate or show more affection. All they did was highlight the difference between working professionals who a) know they're on the job, b) know their roles for the job, and c) know that their job is bigger than their individual needs and people who think their love and togetherness is more important than the job.

[elderberries-and-honey]

Autumn, 1900

Once the tennis match began, it was obvious Vernon was more skilled at the sport than the rest of them, including his own teammate, but Lawrence had enough of a competitive edge to keep the game stimulating for their small audience. Not another word was spoken about what had transpired between Winifred and Hettie; in fact, Winifred did not speak another word to anyone other than Lawrence for the rest of the afternoon.  Winifred knew she was being juvenile, and maybe even spiteful; and she was not oblivious to the fact that she was the one causing the stiffness to linger in the air among them, but she couldn't help it. She was hurting - and rightfully so, too.  She and Mrs. O'Doyle were not what one would call close, but they engaged in what she considered meaningful enough conversation over the years, that the idea of her gossiping about her wardrobe to her sister was cutting. But it was she who made the first jab, which meant she was the one to blame. However, what troubled her the most over the whole thing, was that she could not figure out why she had started it in the first place.

next / previous / first

transcript below the cut

<leaves crunching> <distant chatter>

Mr. O'Doyle: Afternoon, Baudelaires; We're thrilled you could join us. Lawrence: Ah, well we appreciate the invitation. Mr. O'Doyle: You will be playing against my son, Vernon, and his old classmate, Clarice. <whispering> We suspect a romance may be blossoming. <giggling in the distance>

Mrs. O'Doyle: And this, is my sister Hettie. Hettie, these are our friends Mr and Mrs Baudelaire. Hettie: Pleasure to meet you. Mrs. O'Doyle: Mr Baudelaire is a funeral director here in town. Hettie: <high-pitched> Oh, my...what a fascinating profession that must be... I wish I had a service like that for my Hugh. Lawrence: Hugh? Mrs. O'Doyle: My sister's husband <sighs> He passed...oh, three months ago now? Lawrence: I am sorry to hear that. My condolences. Winifred: Your husband passed only three months ago, yet...you wear no mourning clothes?

Hettie: Well, Mrs. Baudelaire, I certaitnly understand your curiosity over my personal wardrobe, but some of us do not enjoy dressing in mourning attire <spins finger> year round...

Vernon; Father, are we going to play, or not? Mr. O'Doyle: Be right there, Son! Vernon: What was that about? Mr. O'Doyle: <sighs> Nothing to worry about. Winifred: I told you I don't fit in with these types of people, Lawrence Mrs. O'Doyle: <whispering> Why would you say that?! She is going to know I told you that!

[phoenixyfriend]

Ko-Fi prompt from Anonymous Supporter:

For the Econ Topic, an analysis on a society that has magic and fantasy races would be nice. Or maybe how a guild of Thieves or Assassins would work in either real life, fantasy or sci-fi setting.

The former is far too varied and complicated a topic to fit into 500 words, but I can definitely make the latter work... by explaining what the fuck a guild is.

These days, the words guild and union are used more or less interchangeably, and they do admittedly have some overlap in modern capitalist society. In the historic Europe that many of these settings are inspired by, the word guild had a more specific meaning.

Let's unpack some of what the economic structure is in these settings.

Large, overarching companies engaging in multinational work are rare in those historic settings. You have some trading/merchant organizations (e.g. the Dutch East India Company) that fit that bill, work that couldn't be performed without a large, existing structure to back it (e.g. mining), and domestic agricultural lordship (you know, feudalism).

For the rest of the economy, though, you have small businesses. Technology isn't at such a point that something bigger can be done. Factories aren't a thing until the industrial revolution, but we do have division of labor, so there are people who specialize in baking, or weaving, or shoemaking, or pottery.

Many of these professions require years of training, from apprenticeship to journeyperson to mastery. Trade secrets are a big deal, you marry off your daughter to your apprentice to secure the line and prevent competition, and you try not to give up those secrets because if you do, what's to keep your lord and other rich folk from taking advantage of you, and paying you less than your worth?

That's where the guild comes in.

No matter how good you are at keeping secrets, the competition does exist. You cannot be the only baker, dressmaker, shoemaker, bricklayer, carpenter in town, unless your town is very small indeed.

Price competition isn't a great idea when profit margins are already low, and you are a small business that doesn't have the diversification or coffers to take the hit for a few weeks. If your lord tries to force you to sell low, you can't just refuse him! He's the one that pays whoever uses the swords!

If only you and all the other trained professionals in your industry could hold together and tell him, "Yeah, that's as low as the price can go. You are paying for the bare minimum of materials and labor with that. So sorry, can't go lower without taking an actual loss, and everyone else will tell you the same thing."

Joining a guild was often the only way to perform that craft or service in a given city. This prevented untrained, untested individuals from trying to peddle something that wasn't up to standard, but also acted as a form of gatekeeping that could prevent the market from becoming oversaturated with competition. The formation of a guild was often related to, or even reliant on, approval from local government or a monarch.

Guilds did absolutely have negative impacts, by the way, often through market manipulation and rent-seeking behaviors. They stifled innovation, gatekept skills, and were capable of price-gouging and price-fixing beyond the basic "this is how we keep from getting screwed over by the rich guys." While the guilds themselves were arguably intended to ensure minimum standards and protect against wealthy clientele, they were just as prone to stagnation and greed as any organization.

The guild differs from the unions in that the guild is for trained professionals that, by and large, own their business to some degree. The unions, meanwhile, are for laborers who work for someone else, and formalized labor unions only began in the mid-18th century, while trade guilds, or something like them, date back over four thousand years.

Remember how I said that factories as we know them, and that whole Big International Company format, didn't really start being a thing until the Industrial Revolution? You know how the Industrial Revolution started in the mid-18th century?

We now see the connection.

So, what does a guild of thieves or assassins mean, at its core?

Well, they have to be doing this professionally. Someone who's just killing for the fun of it isn't a professional assassin, being paid by other people for it, just like how the baker's guild isn't going to care overly much for the farmer's wife making her own bread for dinner. Thievery is a bit less obvious in terms of 'what counts as professional.' Does the person who picks pockets to pay their rent qualify as professional? Or just the ones who steal on behalf of someone else? What about burglars?

So part of what you'd need to untangle is what qualifies as professional for the thieves themselves.

Then, given that these are generally illegal acts in the first place, what purpose does the guild serve? Is the guild supported by the crown as a form of control over theft and assassination in the first place, like privateering? Does the guild institute rules on who can be stolen from, whether or not it's within guild rules to kill individuals of certain ages or genders or classes? What punishments does the guild implement on those who violate those rules?

If the crown allows the assassin's guild so long as members of the royal family are not targeted, is there a rule that any client who requests the assassination of a monarch must be reported, or killed on the spot? What government fees does the guild have to pay in order to exist? If they exist as an underground, unofficial group that is not affiliated with the government, how do they deal with the government? How do they hide? Do they dictate pricing? Do they pay off cops to stay under the radar? How do they advertise their services without getting found out?

For the thieves guild, it's even more wiggly. Who qualifies as a professional? Is it the pickpockets, the cat burglars, the people who climb into dragon's caves to locate ancient treasure and get out unseen? Is there a minimum yearly income threshold? How is that calculated? What about membership fees? Is membership singular, or can it be done as a couple, a team, a family? Are there groups that are off limits? Maybe there are two thieves guilds, one for those who can be Hired By Adventurers, acknowledged by the crown, and a second for those who work in the seedy underground away from official oversight.

There really is no one way for this to play out, and will probably vary from town to town or planet to planet in-story, but hopefully I've given you the framework to build up the various guilds you need for your story!

(Prompt me on ko-fi!)

[senditcolton]

I Get to Love You

Thigh squeezes. Reaching over and resting your hand on their outer thigh, perhaps giving a gentle squeeze. Feeling their eyes on you as they try to decipher your motives. Whether the touch is teasing, loving, reassuring, or just for fun.

part of my Valentine's Day prompts requested by @pyotrkochetkov | word count: 0.6k | warnings: none!

The breeze blowing in from the ocean was a pleasant sensation against your skin. You sit in your designated white wooden folding chair on the large patio, the scent of flowers filling your nostrils. The gentle music floats above you as you watch the adorable parade of kids making their way to the altar. You shoot a quick glance back at Kevin, rocking on his heels, his eyes trained at the end of the aisle.

“Kev looks like he’s about to cry already,” you whisper to Brady, sitting next to you.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Brady questions, his eyes turning to look towards his friend.

“Of course it is,” you lightly giggle. “Which reminds me; if you don’t shed a single tear during our wedding, I might have to call the whole thing off.”

The teasing in your voice is evident, that mischievous smirk on your face as you look back at your fiancé. Brady shares your grin, leaning in to place a quick kiss on your lips.

“If that’s the case, then I promise I will be a sobbing wreck. And if I’m not, you can subtly kick me in the shins until I start crying.”

Another gentle laugh escapes you and you press a kiss onto his lips. The music swells and you see the officiant lift their hands – an indication for you to stand. You do, angling your body towards the entrance of the aisle. Brady’s hands come to rest on your hips, his need for physical touch making you smile.

You watch as Katya makes her way down the aisle, holding the elegant bouquet of white florals, the material of her dress dancing in the breeze. You sneak another glance towards Kevin and you look just in time to see him wipe a tear away. Katya makes it to the altar, kissing her father on the cheek and handing off the bouquet to her maid of the honor before taking Kevin’s hands in hers. Once everyone has settled back down into their seats, you listen intently to the exchanging of vows, the smile never leaving your face.

There was something magical about weddings – an entire day devoted to celebrating love. They were one of your favorite events to attend and you loved every second of them: the ceremony, the first dance, the reception. But your favorite part was the vows. Listening to two people profess their love for each other in front of friends and family was beautiful, especially when it always looked like the couple was in their own world. Just the two of them – no one else around.

You smile as you see Kevin and Katya seemingly caught up in their own perfect bubble.

A hand landing on the top of your thigh pulls your attention away from the bride and groom and towards your soon-to-be-husband. Brady looks at you with a soft smile on his face, his strong grip gently squeezing the flesh of your upper thigh, his thumb running over the silken fabric resting there.

You understood the action – one that could have many different intentions driving it – was one of excitement and love. You grin back at him, your head coming to rest naturally against his shoulder. Brady presses a kiss into the crown of your head and you hear his gentle voice whispering into your hair.

“Only three more months. Then that’s going to be us up there.”

Your smile grows, your left hand coming up to rest on top of his. Your engagement ring catches the sunlight, sparkling like an exclamation to the end of Brady’s statement. You lift your head, resting your chin onto his shoulder, watching as Brady turns to stare into your eyes.

“Three months can’t come fast enough,” you whisper. Brady smiles, leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to your lips before you both turn your attention back to Kevin and Katya.

Weddings were magical. And you knew in your heart that yours and Brady’s wedding would be the most enchanting of them all. You couldn’t wait for that day.

[beevean]

Hey now how could you say such nasty things about the show? Don't you realise how important it is for lgbt representation? I bet you're some bigoted neckbeard!

Go back to your jumping pixels on the ps2 and leave us alone you gatekeeper!>:(

I know you joke and all, but it's honestly baffling to me how NFCV (and esp Nocturne) got the reputation of being woke because of one (1) bi threesome, when it's shockingly bigoted itself.

Wallachians are depicted as backward hillibillies brainwashed by the Church and engaging in bestiality: classism and xenophobia due to them being Eastern European, plus a general shallow caricature of history.

Alucard mocks the Belmonts by accusing them of being "mentally ill hoarders" and engaging in pagan rituals such as sacrificing chickens and mummifying cats: ableism and xenophobia, not helped by the fact that he's technically a nobleman looking down on common people (so classism).

Trevor is an alcoholic because of genuine childhood trauma. He's constantly mocked by other characters (and even the fucking music sometimes), he's pushed aside in favor of Alucard who is the first person who disrespects him, and eventually ditched by his own story.

Carmilla, the quintessential lesbian vampire in popular culture, jokes about being willing to fuck Godbrand only if all the men, half of the women and some of the animals dropped dead: equates having sex with women with having sex with animals.

Isaac's backstory is being a slave owned by a Catholic priest, so historically inaccurate that it can only come from the preconception that black people can only exist in Europe as slaves.

Isaac is a self-professed Muslim man who gleefully worships a demonic creature and agrees with his idea of killing "impure" people for a superior mission, justifying his sins by misquoting the Quran. His hypocrisy is never pointed out, and we're meant to admire him all the way through. I cannot make this shit up.

The generals in Dracula's court come from all over the world, with prominent Indian and Chinese vampires, but they are literally props only there to pretend the world is bigger than it actually is: the focus is given to two white Northern European vampires, Godbrand and especially Carmilla.

Striga and Morana are the laziest form of lesbian representation you could possibly have, literally Disney level of "seventh first gay character".

Alucard got "revealed" as bi in a tweet as if to reassure us that no, he wasn't raped, he enjoyed it! Pure biphobia.

Hector's whole story in S3 and 4 is disgusting rape apologism stemming from sexism, both against men (men are inherently horny and they cannot get sexually traumatized) and against women (women are never a threat and everything they do is inherently titillating).

Vampires, unholy creatures who can only exist by causing harm to humans, are treated as if they were their own separate race, and as if the Belmonts are committing ethnic cleansing against them. Case in point, Alucard being such a cunt to Trevor because oh no, his ancestors killed vampire children and kept their skulls in their hold! As if "vampire children" would be anything else than a cursed existence. (and never forget about the "cabal of vampires" controlling the slave trade in Nocturne, or how in that show vampires are the literal ruling class to be crushed by the revolution.)

oh but game isaac is offensive because he looks like a bdsm stripper or stuff. sure whatever.

At least Nocturne had the decency of fleshing out its gay couple. Yay, progress.

[sweetredbeans]

Just gonna randomly ramble some things here about the Sonic Movies okay cool. (PS. This is absolutely not meant to be mean if you didn't like the trailer: you are 100% allowed to dislike it. This is just me rambling my own thoughts ^v^)

I'm already immediately tired of people absolutely BLASTING the movies for choices that they don't like without actually thinking about why those choices might have been made.

Tom being a cop. Okay. What other Earth profession follows the stereotypical "hero" role (the role that Sonic fills in his games) any better? So, a profession where you are saving people from "bad guys" by beating them up. Because that is what Sonic does in Sonic 1. Follows Robotnik around and beats him up and rescues the people (flickies) he was being mean to. They clearly wanted to parallel that idea and yeah, Sonic doesn't like cops and that makes sense given who he is, but I can also look at the movie and go "Oh, they wanted that parallel for a reason and that's why they made that decision" not just because they want to engage in copaganda.

Why is Amy not here yet. Money. Plain and simple, guys. Amy doesn't sell as well as Shadow. Period. Sorry. And nobody knows if they'll get another movie after this. They might, yeah, but 3 movies in a franchise like this is already a lot, and 4 is REALLY a lot. Yes, it is being more common now for something to have 700 sequels, but it is VERY not guaranteed, and if they wanted to get more hype and make more money, then Shadow coming first makes WAY more sense. And trying to shoe-horn her into this movie would absolutely be a disservice to her personality and backstory, as well as Shadow's--they wouldn't be able to properly develop either of them in one 2.5 hour long movie.

Sonic is working for GUN so he must be pro-military. I reblogged a much better-worded post about this earlier, but I am HIGHLY inclined to believe that GUN is USING Sonic to get to Shadow by playing off something adjacent to "He's gonna destroy the world oh noooooo". Let's be real here: GUN would NEVER let Sonic go get Robotnik again, they blackbooked him HARD for a reason. So I am highly inclined to believe that while Sonic may START working for GUN because they ask for his help, they are not going to stay amicable for the whole movie (especially given the fact that we see soldiers around Maria's dead body and somebody is going to tell Sonic about that) But clearly they aren't going to give something like that away in the first 2 minute trailer guys.

Gerald is here. I don't have a great answer for this one aside from the fact that they needed someone to play Eggman's role from SA2, and Eggman himself isn't set up to do it. Theoretically, SOMEONE had to bust Shadow out of GUN prison, and having Gerald be a hologram or robot or something set up to take revenge on GUN later would make a lot of sense. It's also possible that he was also frozen or stasis-ified and got let out once GUN figured out Project Shadow still existed and then took his revenge idk we'll just have to see won't we?

This is just a random last point but...if you go back and watch the first trailers for either of the other Sonic movies, they are VERY different from what we actually saw and LOADS of stuff is either massively changed or majorly taken out of context so...that could be good or bad.

In conclusion: we'll just have to wait and see, but these are my thoughts and predictions woo!

[gremlingottoosilly]

Just one shot [Military photographer!Reader x CoD characters] part two

You successfully escaped the hell of the art school — in debt, with nothing but your(shitty) camera, a diploma and disappointed parents who never understood your life choices. Being a part if the military wasn’t your first option, but what else can you do? And at least, people here are fun to work with…

Content: female!Reader, lots of bad jokes, young!Reader, nationality is not stated but has a strong accent, a little bit of angst, I have really vague understanding of the army, Reader is short&not really strong, slow burn, Reader is shy and not very social

Character focus in this chapter: Soap, Gaz

🤨📸

Being one of the few women on base, who were not constantly engaging in combat or military trainings, had more downsides than benefits. You are not just weaker than your fellow soldiers, since your profession let you escape the gym as long as you wanted, but also more desirable to pick on. Short, shy, forced to talk to everyone so you make photos for the yearbook of each unit, while working exclusively alone — by all means, you are the perfect victim to evil pranks and not very clever romance attempts.

Right now, for example, you were clinging to your camera, while desperately trying to look for the way to escape a soldier’s grasp without making too much noise or attack him directly. You are good with riffles, and the camera is heavy enough to be considered a weapon — but still, you are not a close combat fighter.

Of course, this guy was trying to ask you out — a typical behavior for boys who haven’t been in touch with reality for a whole months straight, and were seeing you as an easy target. You hated this and you hates the feeling of helplessness that came with such situations — but there was mostly nothing you could do.

— Aye, mate. I would advise yer stop bothering our fine lassie out here and shut yer puss.

Oh.

There he is, your prince with mohawk and accent that you still can’t quite process.

You never knew that seeing his weirdly serious expression would make you cheeks blush, but you decided to blame it on the general anxiety of this situation. A recruit who was harassing you quickly disappeared after a friendly hand of Soap resting on his shoulder. You didn’t exactly knew what he was saying to him, but it was clear, that not something all fun and cheerful.

And still, Johny — even if would never dare to call him that — saved you. Now you were standing in the hallway, with your camera held close to your chest, and shaky, still unstable legs.

— Thank you, sergeant. I was…well, I wasn’t expecting him to being so stubborn about wanting to know me.

— Yer were standing here like a deer in headlights. He was quite a munter, but why didn’t you said anything, lassie?

— Thought we were alone and it would be useless. Plus, I was really worried that he could broke my camera if I would refuse him too harshly, so…yeah.

You tried to smile, to make some silly joke out of this situation, but Soap clearly wasn’t convinced. If anything, he looked even more worried — and placed one hand on your shoulder, gently squeezing soft skin under your jacket. He tilted his head, now looking a little bit like a bird — cute, curious one. You tried not to think about how pretty his concerned eyes were, but failed.

— Next time, you gonna bring yer arse to me second some hackit would try to bother you again. Got it?

Ah yes, because you really want to bother your very attractive superior about some idiots trying to get to you. On the other hand, however…he looked really worried. And it’s not like you would be constantly clinging by his side — even though you would still need a few photos for the 141 album.

It wouldn’t hurt, to hang out with him and the other members a little bit more, right? For purely professional purposes, of course, you don’t want to seem like a silly little recruit who is hanging out with people way out of her league. Even if this is true, and they are way too cool for someone like you.

📸📸📸

— I’m just not sure whether he likes me or just tolerates me. I get mixed signals and I’m terrible at reading them.

— Mate, if Soap would hates you, he’ll be very vocal about it. You can’t just shut him up most of the time, so I doubt he hates you. Seems like the opposite, really.

Gaz was the easiest person to get along with — and the most friendly as well. Your photoshoots quickly became a way for you to share latest gossips and just chat in each other’s company for a little bit. You liked having a friend like him — while not particularly close one, he was also very acceptable of your way of (over)thinking and shy personality.

And he looked great in sunglasses.

It’s funny, because you actually hated making photos of people in sunglasses, darker lenses would always direct light right into the lense and would mirror everyone in front of it, but Gaz somehow make it less terrible — while looking like a freaking superhero movie character.

— You sure? He always uses his dialects on me and, um, I know English, but he somehow makes me feel like I don’t.

— What kind of words does he using? And you can always ask him to just speak normal English, you know.

— This would be insensitive! I appreciate his culture and don’t want to seem like an ignorant jerk. And, erm, he is calling me bonnie all the time, which is weird, because I am clearly not a rabbit.

Gaz froze in place for a second — a perfect pose for you to make another photo. Then he bursted out in pure laughter and, quite frankly, you have no idea what so funny about Soap basically calling you a bunny without any reason.

— And I thought I am bad at clues. He likes you, for real, if he calls you this.

— Wait, then what…what does this mean?

Gaz laughed again — a pure sound that is forcing you to also start giggling a little bit, only saving a little bit more stability in the camera because of your professionally trained and experienced hands. You smiled, trying not to look at him too much — but really, Gaz is very pretty when he is smiling.

So making a lot more photos feels a little bit obligatory.

— It means that he called you pretty. Like really, really pretty. Scottish dialect and everything.

Soap…called you pretty? Oh no. Oh no, no, no, you can’t have that! You both needs to be professional and…well, you really should stop thinking about these two guys. Way out of your league. You just a photographer, and they are legends.

Gaz patted your shoulder, bringing you to a little but awkward, but still warm hug. And to be quite honest, you never wanted to break this hug. Ever. Especially when he was holding you gently, in a way that didn’t feel threatening. Making you smile every second of it.

Do you have a multiple attraction problem?

[scotianostra]

On June 18th, the day after Mary Queen of Scots was imprisoned at Lochleven Castle, The Palace of Holyrood House was overrun by religious zealots destroying the Royal Chapel and plundering the building.

The author James Boswell lamented in May 1758 the state of the church in his poem “An evening-walk in the Abbey-church of Holyrood-house” mentioning the state of the Royal Vaults as also the “venerable roof” which fell “a prey to the rude winds, and Winter’s stormy blasts!”

The biography of Mary Stuart describes the event as such:“The insurgent nobles, on the 18th of June, seized the Queen’s plate, jewels, and other moveables, in Holyrood-house: They coined the whole of her plate. On the same day, Glencairn went with his servants into the Queen’s chapel of Holyrood-house, and broke down the altars, and demolished the pictures, images, and ornaments. This outrage was highly commended by the preachers, as a work of great godliness: But, the other insurgent nobles were somewhat displeased; as he had done this mischief, without any order, and before they had resolved, how to deal with the Queen.

It is a curious circumstance, which marks the real design of the rebellious nobles: They immediately took the most decisive, and vigorous measures against the Queen, in violation of their public professions, and in breach of their solemn engagements, to serve, and obey her; while they did not pursue Bothwell, or take any measure to prevent his escape; though they always avowed one of their chief objects to be, to inflict condign punishment on Bothwell, for the King’s murder: Morton and Maitland, who were his complotters, knew, that he could charge them with their guilty conduct, in that abominable deed.”

So it really shows the anger shown towards Bothwell was merely an end to a means, they wanted Mary dethroned. This was confirmed on 24th July 1567, she was forced to abdicate.

In the years that followed the Abbey’s alters and stain glassed windows were destroyed along with the tombs of Kings David II, James II and Mary’s father James V.

There were attempts to rebuild the building, these were after 1758 when its high vault collapsed, but the repairs were disastrous and did not stand up to the task, by 1766 they were beginning to deteriorate.

Scots Magazine and reported a two stage failure.

“On the 2nd of December, about noon, part of the walls and roof of the church of the Abbey of Holyroodhouse, Edinburgh, gave way and fell in; and in the night following a great part of the remainder fell also. This is said to be owing to the enormous weight of a new stone roof laid over the church some years ago, which the walls were unable to support. The pillars and ornaments of this edifice, though for many years waste, and almost ruinous, were greatly admired, as one of the finest Gothic remains in the Island. The vaults, where the bodies of some of the royal family, several of the nobility, and a great number of the gentry, were deposited, were by this accident laid in ruins. – The church however, is, it is said, to be speedily rebuilt.”

Throughout these times the Abbey was still a place of interest for the people of Edinburgh and visitors alike, it was especially popular as a romantic place to take a walk, especially in the the twilight.

The Abbey is now in the care of Historic Scotland, but much to my annoyance you cannot just go and visit, you have to pay the best part of £20 to the Royal Collection Trust, which look after the royal palaces, I have no interest in visiting the Palace of Holyrood House, nor contributing to the trust, so only have vague memories of visiting when it used to be free when I was a young bairn.

[4th-make-quail]

May I ask a clarifying question on your boundaries? I don’t consider myself “proship” or “anti” as I think those terms are reductive, and two people who may both fit under one label could have incredibly different opinions. However, I believe that the way I interact with media could be something that someone would call “anti”, in that I find it more interesting to look at fiction through the lens of reality rather than “fiction doesn’t effect reality”, by which I mean when reading Lolita I like to go “okay so what is this saying about how the psych profession saw csa at the time?” “How was this influenced by Nabokov’s own experiences?”, I see Marius and Armand as a reflection of child sexual abuse and enjoy analysing it under a more realistic lens, and would find wincest more interesting as a look at enmeshment between siblings under an abusive parent, rather than a ship (although what people mean by the term “ship” is also really vague and can differ wildly).

Based on that, and what you say in your pinned post, would you prefer I don’t interact? I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable!

Okay so to preface this, I don't go into much detail in my pinned because I hate the whole thing, and I hate spaces which are super dedicated to the pro/anti discourse. I try to keep my online spaces free of discourse and drama because its simply not fun! I don't want to spend my days steeping in negativity.

This got very long, so I'm gonna put it under a cut!

So. The thing is anon, the proship label originally came about as a response to antis, to describe people who don't actually care what other people ship ("ship and let ship", "your kink is not my kink and that's okay" and all that), but it's been massively conflated these days and now people take it to describe what they call problematic ships or art. You're right about them being reductive terms - and in fact, I have a lot of freak friends who are super into things I personally dislike or am outright squicked by (and vice versa), because we're not a monolith.

My stance entirely is this: I don't care what other people ship. I don't care how they ship it, or how they want to analyse and engage with that source material. I think what people ship and what art people enjoy has no say at all in what their morals might be.

What you describe as how you engage with those pairings is a completely valid interpretation! Preferring to look at a relationship through those lenses is perfectly fine, and in fact lots of people do this under the umbrella of meta.

What I personally mean by "ship" is the usual description - I want those two characters to have a romantic and sexual relationship. However, I also have no issues with people who don't have that viewpoint because it quite literally doesn't affect me unless they go about harassing others.

Liking a "problematic" ship dynamic doesn't mean you also condone that thing in real life. There's a reason one of the top sexual fantasies is noncon (see: any women's magazine list of these), and it's not because the person secretly really wants to be raped in real life. It's because human beings enjoy exploring taboo subjects in a safe and fictional environment.

Where my opinion stands on this is simple. If you think it's okay to harass people for the ships they like, if you think it's acceptable to write call out posts and smear people's names because of the ships they like, then I don't want to know you. If you think liking Marius/Armand makes that person a paedophile, or that liking underage ships leads to the person eventually moving on to real life kids, or that being an incest shipper means you're gonna go fuck your own sibling, again, I don't want to know you.

The same goes for both sides of this frankly stupid issue - far too many people who call themselves proship proudly love to dunk publicly on antis or people who don't share their viewpoints, which imo makes them just as bad! If someone's out there being awful to people who don't ship their problematic ships, then it's just as bad!

This is also why I don't do any DNIs or anything like that. If I see someone start to follow me and they have big obvious "PROSHIP DNI" in their info, then I will go ahead and block them, but otherwise I'm not interested in policing who can interact with me in that way. It's not for me to decide whether someone else wants to interact with me, it's on you to decide if you want to.

I'm not gonna be going out and ripping on people who dislike a ship I like, or who engage with art in a different way to me. However, if I come across posts in my tracked tags or on my dash expressing anti sentiments, or going on a negative rant about something I love, then I will also probably unfortunately be blocking that person. I don't like seeing negativity about shit I love on my dash or in the tags (really, does anybody? lol) so I'm proactive about that because a) it depresses me, and b) I spent a long time in the ffxiv fandom, where people think liking Garleans makes you a nazi apologist, and where they love to go on ranting screeds about how my favourite characters should die painfully, and I'm honestly not about that in my fandom life.

Anyway, all this to say: if you're comfortable interacting with me, a Marius/Armand bitch who does indeed enjoy their fucked up relationship because of how fucked up it is (and finds it incredibly sexy, actually), then I'm fine with you interacting with me. I'm not gonna be sharing or posting about that specific ship anyway, and I'm certainly not gonna be awful about people who find it distasteful or triggering or even just plain don't like it for whatever reason. It won't make me uncomfortable in any way to interact with you because you engage with those things in a different way to me, as long as you don't also engage in the other activities I discussed further up.

Sorry this got so long, anon! Hopefully it all makes sense. As an aside, I'm not interested in having any debates about these issues with anyone and will not be engaging with arguments about it. Sensible discussion, yes. Arguments, discourse and wank? No. Thank you for understanding! 💚

[the-fandom-abyss]

Hey, are your match ups open?

If they are, may I request one from marvel (any gender)? Spiderverse-specific would be great but I understand if you aren't familiar enough with the characters to write for that so any marvel characters would also be fine.

Because I do not understand the concept of brevity, I have my matchup information pinned to my blog. I really hope that won't be too much of an issue for you. I just don't want to clog your asks with my ramblings.

Anyhow, thank you so so much!

I ship you with Felicia Hardy (Black Cat)!

You mentioned that due to your dancing background that you walk on your toes. Felicia adores that about you, she likes to think that you glide as an angel should never touch the ground. With her profession, it can also be a blessing with the amount of sneaking she has to do, she draws inspiration from your movements and implements them into her own.

Now what is a black cat without her witch? The fact that your wardrobe happens to match her alter ego, well Felicia absolutely loves it. This fact alone is why she calls you her special nicknames like witchy, sorceress, enchantress etc. She’ll even go as far as to use cheesy lines such as “I’m under your spell” or “it must be the love potion”.

After what has happened in her past, she tends to avoid large crowds or events that could lead her back to her past. So she likes to be amongst a smaller group, she doesn’t mind what they’re doing as long as it doesn’t involve a whole party of people. She’s like you in a way, happy to stand outside the venue and continue the conversation, it’s more personal that way. She sighs when you tell her, thankful that someone else just gets it. She feels safe around you.

To maintain your interest and engage in your need to not be bored, Felicia shares little jobs with you. She will hand you floor plans, locations of security cameras. She’ll ask you to stake out the staff, gain an idea of their schedules. She will lead you to safes or vaults that are encrypted, just so you can spend your time searching for the code. There is never ending jobs to be done that there is no time to be bored.

If that isn’t enough, in her down time, she will make sure to plan dates or experiences or holidays with you. It will have all the thrills with the added bonus of together time. Which Felicia has a hard time balancing so she tries her best to accomodate both her personal and work life.

There would be no sneaking around if you were in Hogwarts. A ravenclaw often attracts another and that is exactly what happened. You two would cause chaos in class with the amount of smarts and wit that you possess. I feel you would give the Weasley twins a run for their money, always in competition to see who can one up each other

1k Follower Celebration

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

I understand that the evidence to support Paul being not-completely-straight is less robust than the evidence that suggests John was likely bisexual, but his heterosexuality shouldn’t be a foregone conclusion, imo. Obviously I’m in the land of speculation here, but I find it hard to believe that Paul’s feelings toward John were 100% platonic, 100% of the time. The visible, fizzy chemistry between them often strikes me as flirtatious, and the idea of Paul as a passive receiver (lol) of unrequited adoration doesn’t align with anything I’ve observed. I also find Paul’s seeming preoccupation with the physical closeness he often enjoyed with John — the intimate way in which he describes sharing beds, songwriting (eyeball to eyeball), tripping, etc. — to be a telling indicator of feelings he may not have fully understood while John was alive. He seems to put a lot more emphasis on physical proximity when describing their relationship than is typically seen in platonic relationships (between men in particular). However! I have an obvious bias as a shipper that might be clouding my judgment. What do you think?

What a delicious ask!

I hear you, in general. I don't think it's weird to wonder, really. Like, I see how Paul's behaviour falls within the range of what someone who was full-on in love with John would do.

Though sometimes I feel I get a bit lost in the weeds of terminology. When you say Paul didn't always feel 100% platonic towards John, what specifically do you mean? That he actively fantasized about kissing/having sex with John? And let's say he did, I think there is actually a legitimate grey area of curiosity there. I'm actually of the belief that probably the concept of engaging in some type of non-platonic behaviour with John occurred to Paul at some point. (or, you could even say it unequivocally has, judging by his "if I had been a girl, I could have–" comment). Does the idea crossing Paul's mind constitute him having certified non-platonic feelings? I'm asking honestly, because I feel like sometimes people are talking past each other due to these terms not being clarified enough. What if it was even a semi-regular thought of his, that sort of toed the line between fixation and fantasy?

I think flirting is something people engage in without necessarily desiring anything, especially someone like Paul who seems to do it almost accidentally sometimes. I'm not sure what you mean by Paul being a receiver of unrequited adoration not aligning with anything you've observed? Because I think this is a point I've tried to make that often feels sort of misunderstood. I do think Paul was very attached to John and consistently sought out his approval as well as to connect with him, regardless of the nature of his attraction to him. I also wonder if Paul, as you suggested, maybe only considered his feelings might have been non-platonic after John had died, then… could it not be something Paul legitimately never figured out about himself? This is another completely serious question. Is it not possible that Paul has wondered but now no longer has a way to find out?

(I also genuinely think John dying and Paul having to constantly reaffirm to the world they were friends has made him grow gradually more over the top in professing his love for John. Part of what bothers me about some of the way shippers engage with what he says is that it basically feels like it's unself-awarely playing into all of this. Like, "Why does he always bring up John?" For you, partially. Also, that whole murder thing like actually happened, y'know?)

I also take your point re: Paul emphasizing his physical relationship with John a lot. I don't actually know how uncommon it is for men to talk about physical closeness. I've mentioned this before, but groups of men sharing small spaces aren't uncommon in society really (sports teams, the army, etc.). I actually feel like it would be a lot more outside gender norms if Paul emphasized how often he and John talked about their feelings to each other. Also, my far more grim reading of Paul's emphasis is that he, being insanely insecure about his relationship with John, clings to material proof of John liking him, and John being physically close to him is the most irrefutable argument he can think of. I also think he regrets having not been openly affectionate with John ("I should have hugged John all the time", he's said, I think) and thus really treasures those moments of closeness. It also seems like he's often emphasizing the smallness of these moments. John's tiny bedroom, the cramped spaces they were forced to share, Mimi's porch… I think Paul has also attached pre-fame nostalgia in general to John, because he seems to so often be recalling John before the Beatles became successful (I actually think this might be a key factor in his love of mentioning the Paris trip).

I don't know, I see how it's romantic, but I also have similar memories with my best friend that are really important to me, if I'm honest.

In the end, I hear you, it is possible, I just don't find it conclusive enough to feel overly comfortable going against Paul's own word, if that makes sense. If you have more thoughts I'd like to hear them though.

[metamorphosisff]

|Two| It’s Over Now

There are plenty of things I need to be doing, going over the quizzes from one of the three psych classes I taught, following up with three judges about cases I had updates for, and so on and so forth. Yet, here I was rereading the same four words that were sent to my phone earlier this week: Try with somebody else. Jamila Cortez was an enigma that I was drawn to which kind of unnerved me. When was the last time I actively wanted to get to know a new person? For the last few years I had been content within my bubble that consisted of what I thought was a happy relationship, building connections in the educator world, and increasing the distance from my checkered past. Keeping my head down, focusing on my goals served me well until it didn’t, and that bubble popped.

Apparently, the approach I took to reshaping my life caused my ex-girlfriend Mariah, of the last four years, to abandon all of the plans we made for the future. She claimed I wasn’t the same and I hurled the same accusation back. Now I was single for the first time and free from that bubble. I had spent these last few months trying to submerge myself back into the world, catching up with friends that I neglected in favor of hers, and trying experiences that actually interested me. It felt like I was discovering myself again, going through yet another transition, although I had no idea what the end result would be. My previous transitions were brought on by intrinsic motivations, this one? Was extrinsic by all intents and purposes, so I was riding the wave and seeing where it took me. It kept crashing into Jamila.

With me being one of the ten supervisors that worked for the non-profit Helping Hand I met all kinds of people. HH was designed to give people who have had minor brushes with the law a chance to give back to society by cleaning up and volunteering around the community. Along with my job as a professor, it gave me the chance to use the clinical psychology degree I spent four years getting. I loved social work, being on the ground, and getting to know people. My love and genuine care for others was another point of contention between Mariah and I. She didn’t like the way I always had to engage in conversation but it was a quality that served me well in my profession. I was able to see things in people that most would overlook. In Jamila I saw a sadness so profoundly deep I’m sure she didn’t even know how far down it reached and it reminded me of my own cemented over well of sorrows.

It became a goal of mine to strike up conversations with her because something told me her story would be interesting and I could learn from it. That girl was tough as nails though because she had no patience for me. I’ve been trying to think up a response that would adequately do but can’t seem to grasp how. My skills worked better in person I was starting to note. Right as I began to put my phone down, it began to vibrate, and flash with Mariah’s number. Taking a deep breath, I answer.

“Yeah?” I don’t have time or the space to give her pleasantries she does not deserve.

“Hey Xav, I uh, have quite a few of your things here. Are you coming to get them?” she asks in the airy tone I used to adore but now found quite grating.

“What things Mariah? Clothes?” I asked, trying to remember what I’ve left over her new home over the past year.

“Clothes, products, workout stuff,” she lists with a sigh like I was the one inconveniencing her. It seemed that our whole relationship had been one big inconvenience to her in hindsight. “Things like that. So what do you want me to do with them?”

There was no way I was getting on a plane for what was probably less than five hundred dollars worth of belongings. “Donate them or trash them. It’s whatever Mariah.”

“You don’t have to be like this. I was hoping that-

“That what? That we could be friends? After the shit you pulled?” I questioned, mindful not to raise my voice since I was in one of the adjunct offices at the university. There were six in a row in this wing of the floor and the walls weren’t the thickest. I didn’t need to disturb my colleagues with this drama. “What exactly were you hoping for?” 

“I tried to talk to you before any of this happened! You were always too busy helping this convict or that student. You were ignoring me,” she shrieks.

“So it’s my fault you fucked someone else? That’s a new one,” I chuckle dryly though I am not amused. It’s been three months since we last talked, I should have known this call was about to be some bullshit.

“I made my mistakes but so have you. You aren’t perfect either Xavier,” she said.

“And I never painted myself to be Mariah but I was loyal. Cheating isn’t a mistake, it’s a choice, and you still can’t stand on the choice you made. That’s unfortunate but that has nothing to do with me,” I said.

“Wow, it’s crazy you can even say that because it has everything to do with you,” Mariah says.

I closed my eyes as I took another breath because I can tell from the wobble in her voice that she is about to cry. If she does, I might actually lose my shit. She always thinks she can cry her way out of a disagreement. It’s as tiring as it is disingenuous.

“We can do this all day Mariah but it won’t bring us back together. Nothing ever will. Please don’t contact me again,” I said, before hanging up the phone. 

It was the only way to end the conversation and for her to understand that I did not want to be bothered. Moving quickly, I blocked her number before yet another essay text hit my phone. I had been stalling on doing so but it was clearly time to let every part of her go once and for all.

“Fix that form nigga.”

Sweat poured down my body as I readjusted the bar on my back that held two hundred pounds of weight on it. There was only one way to clear my mind after a day like I had and hitting the gym was it. Lucky for me, my best friend Aiden was the ideal work out partner as he was a personal trainer at Equinox. 

“Better but not by much,” Aiden said, as I ascended from the squat. “Where is your head at? Cause it ain’t here.”

The thing about being friends with someone since elementary school is that they know you better than you know yourself sometimes. I reach for my bottle of water on the floor before saying, “Mariah called me earlier today and I’ve been in a funk since. Trying to snap out of it though.”

“Why the fuck you answer? That’s the problem right there. You did it to yourself,” Aiden said, switching places with me at the rack.

He wasn’t one to mince words whereas I considered each word before saying it. The difference between us was patience.

“Man, she hasn’t called me in months. I honestly didn’t know what to expect,” I said, closing my water back.

“You should have expected some bullshit because it’s exactly what you got,” Aiden said as he executed the five rep set without missing a beat. It was lighter than what he had been lifting lately.

“Pretty much but I finally blocked her so the problem is solved. Just dug some shit up is all,” I said, as we switched places again.

“That’s to be expected too X. She hurt more than your feelings, she hurt your pride, and that’s a motherfucker to come back from,” Aiden says.

He’s not wrong. The dig at my ego did and was doing a number on me. Even in the lowest of our lows, Mariah and I’s sex life never reached those dips. Not when she moved either or so I thought. It was one of the reasons I had held on so long even though the end was imminent before she cheated. To know that hadn’t been one of her reasons to hold on fucked me up. We were disconnected in every single way possible.

“She did but what’s done is done. It’s time for both of us to move on,” I said, as I glanced at my watch. I meant to check in on my progress during this workout but when I noted the time I cursed. “Aye bruh, I gotta get up out of here. It’s my turn with Granddad tonight.”

Vernon Taylor, my grandfather, was the heart of our family. That’s why when we got the diagnosis of dementia as an explanation for his frequent sudden bouts of forgetfulness, we were crushed. It would eventually progress toward Alzheimer’s but for now we did everything we could for him. Including alternating night shift visits between his children and their children so that my grandmother GiGi could get some help. If I rushed, I could make it to Queens by eight.

“Oh I forgot about that too. Tell GiGi I said I’ll be there soon,” Aiden said, outstretching a fist towards me.

I bumped it with my own as I gathered my belongings. “Will do, I’ll see you.”

With that I was off. My apartment was only a fifteen minute walk from the gym. Once there I showered quickly and threw on some lounge clothes. The overnight bag I used when going over there was already packed, so once I grabbed it and my work bag, I was in the back of an Uber before seven. For the next forty eight minutes, I used the ride to reflect on my day, deciding what would make it into tomorrow, and what wouldn’t go past today. It was a coping method I learned in undergrad that helped me regulate my emotions when I did not know quite what to do with them. By the time I made it to Queens Village to the yellow two-story home I spent almost every weekend in, I felt ready to deal with what awaited inside. Walking up the pathway, I fished my keys out of my pocket so that I could let myself inside.

“GiGi it’s me, Xavier,” I called out, as I locked both the screen door and front door. No one else would be coming today so I also went ahead and put the alarm on.

“We’re in the living room baby. I left your dinner in the oven, should still be warm,” GiGi called back.

“Ahh thank you, I’m starving. I’ll be in there in a minute,” I said, before heading upstairs to my dad’s old room which was the first one you saw once you reached the landing. 

I didn’t bother turning on the lights knowing it would be a minute before I was up here for good. Tossing my bag on the floor, I stepped out of my sneakers and into the slides I wore around the house. I headed to the bathroom to wash my hands and then downstairs to grab the plate stuffed with salmon cakes, sautéed vegetables, and rice, that was indeed still warm. Within ten minutes I had inhaled the plate between checking my email which was unsurprisingly even more full since I last looked. I’d spend a good portion of the night combing through them for real. The next few hours belonged to Grandad who was sitting in his favorite chair. Gigi sat beside him knitting while he looked ahead at a Knicks game. 

I walked over and dropped a kiss on her brown cheek before moving over to Grandad. “Hey old man, how are you doing today?” I asked, holding my hand out towards him.

His hand grasped mine as his eyes roved over my face trying to place me from the rolodex of memories he had left. “Doing good Lex, doing good. You checked in on your sister? You the oldest you need to keep up with her and Keith,” Grandad replied.

GiGi tossed me a small smile as she said lowly, “Today was a little rough. Sorry baby.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” I said, reaching over and squeezing her hand. Out of all of us, I knew this transition was hardest for her the most. She’s known him inside and out for forty nine years. Turning to face Granddad once more, I mustered a smile while saying, “That’s good Pops, I try but you know how your kids are.”

“Don’t I?! Y’all came out working a nerve let me tell you,” Grandad said, wheezing a laugh. 

“All done with love,” I say as I ease down on the floor beside him like I did when I was younger. His hand taps my shoulder a few times as I get comfortable. It is his form of affection because as a veteran it was hard for him to soften enough for constant hugs and kisses. “Who you got on the game?”

“Not these bums in blue and orange, they need Walt. Where his ass at? His team needs him,” Grandad said, shaking his head and causing me to laugh. The essence of his personality is prevalent.

As much as things were changing, I had to hold onto these moments as tight as possible to carry into however many tomorrows I had left on this earth.

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[lady0ctavia]

As We Ponder Belief

(2p!Prussia x Reader) - Chapter 35

Note: This story is based vaguely during the mid 1200s in Eastern Europe where the Teutonic Knights fought the Northern Crusades to try and convert the native pagan population to Christianity. As a result, this story will have heavy religious themes all throughout. It should also be noted that, while referencing real-life events and locations, I am not striving for full historical accuracy. This is for the sake of the story I am telling.

Once again, this series will have heavy religious themes throughout, including discussions of bible stories, doctrine, and scripture verses, as well as critical analysis of Christian doctrine and beliefs. So, if you don't like that, you will want to skip out on this.

"Last night, you asked Gilbert if he was jealous of something. I was wondering if you could perhaps shed some light on that?"

Gillen paused, looking to the side as if unsure of how to answer. Sensing that she may have stumbled upon sensitive territory, she attempted damage control.

"If you'd rather not speak about it, I understand. It's probably not my place to ask," She commented as she continued to apply the ointment to Gillen's wound.

"Oh no, you're fine. Don't worry. It's just... Not something Gilbert liked to talk about," He ran a hand through his bangs, appearing deep in thought. "But it only makes sense you're curious after everything. So, I can tell you the story, if you'd like."

"I would, if you don't mind," (y/n) assured, eager to hear what he had to say. "But first, I'm going to need you to turn around so I can treat the other side."

Gillen complied, turning around so she could continue the treatment, applying ointment to the spot where the arrow first went through. As she did so, he looked out into the forest ahead of them, a sense of melancholic nostalgia rushing through him momentarily. Gazing into the woods as if expecting to see children running about and playing, his mind dipping into the memories of the past. Taking a deep breath, he began to tell a story. All while (y/n) gently treated him, listening intently.

"Growing up in Österreich, Gilbert was best friends with a Hungarian girl. Her name was Elizabeta. The two of them were exceptionally close, playing together whenever they got the chance. They did almost everything together. The only other people who were closer to Gilbert than Elizabeta were me and Ludwig. We spent our whole childhoods together. For me, she was a good friend. For Ludwig, an older sister. And for Gilbert... His first, and only, love."

His first love? (y/n) thought to herself as she set the ointment aside and reached for the clean bandages. As she did so, Gillen continued. His calm words floating through the air as she began to wrap the bandages around his shoulder.

"Gilbert was absolutely head over heels for her, but couldn't bring himself to say anything. It was like he was constantly waiting for the right time to profess his love. Perhaps waiting for what he thought would have been the perfect moment. Unfortunately, he had waited far too late.

"A little over five years ago, around the time I was preparing to leave for what I thought was going to be Jerusalem, a cousin of ours named Roderich came to stay with us. His family had perished in an accident, and seeing as we were his next of kin, we were the only family he had left. To everyone's surprise, he and Elizabeta got along very well. And while Gilbert was busy helping our father in his forge, and I was busy with finishing my training... Elizabeta and Roderich began spending more and more time together. So much so that about a month before I was to leave home, they announced their engagement."

"And... How did that go?" (y/n) asked nervously, feeling as though she already knew the answer. All while she tapped Gillen's uninjured shoulder and motioned for him to turn around and face her so she could bandage the other side.

"Well, that would depend on who you ask. According to Elizabeta and Roderich, it went great. They announced their engagement when we were all home. While admittedly shocked, most everyone was supportive. Gilbert, however..." Gillen trailed off, sighing as he ran a hand through his bangs.

(y/n) looked up from her work, curious. After a second or two, Gillen continued. His tone lowered, with a sense of unease and sadness coming through.

"It was difficult, to say the least. I remember when they told everyone the news. When we all went forward to congratulate them, Gilbert just... Kind of stood there. I know Gilbert better than anyone, but even I couldn't fully read the look on his face. At least not at the time. But it all became clear when we talked later that night. Or rather, he talked, and I listened. Turns out, that face was one of devastation.

"He managed to barely feign a sense of joy and excitement for them. But as soon as Elizabeta went home and Roderich, Ludwig, and our father had all gone to bed, did Gilbert finally break down. We sat in our father's shop, and it was then that he showed just how hurt he was. There was anger, frustration, sadness, self-loathing... I had never seen anything quite like it. He just... Cried. Sobbed, even. I had never seen someone so broken before," Gillen's voice became quiet, his eyes appearing vacant as he relived the memory. (y/n), who had just finished her work, raised a hand to cup the side of Gillen's face, drawing his eyes to hers.

"You don't have to keep talking if you don't want to, Gillen. If it hurts to talk about, I don't want you to force yourself," She spoke softly, tenderly. Her voice as soothing as the sound of a babbling brook. Offering her a shy smile, Gillen reached up to hold her hand, rubbing his thumb over the skin, unconsciously leaning ever to slightly into her touch.

"Don't worry about it," He reassured before continuing the tale. "After that night, Gilbert decided to go along with me to join the Order. He had talked about it before, but only ever as a backup plan in case things between him and Elizabeta didn't work out. Which, as we now know, was the case," His smile began to fade once more as he lowered his hand into his lap, still holding onto (y/n)'s.

"Did he ever tell Elizabeta how he felt?" She inquired, tilting her head to the side. Gillen shook his head.

"No, he didn't. He considered it, but decided against it when he saw how happy she was with Roderich. And so, he decided to tag along with me. He couldn't bear the sight of seeing her with another man. It became too painful for him." Gillen finished.

"Because he couldn't bear to be around someone he knew he couldn't have," (y/n) commented, her voice low and quiet as the sudden realization dawned on her. Gillen appeared surprised by what she had said.

"I take it he said that to you as well?" Gillen asked.

"Multiple times, yes," (y/n) admitted. "And I finally get it now. Why he said that. And why you were able to deduce that he was jealous. He was jealous of you obtaining something he wanted more than anything. Is that right?"

"Yes, it is," He confirmed, giving (y/n)'s hand a light squeeze.

She felt a tightness around her heart at the thought of what Gilbert had been through. I am so very lucky to have someone like Gillen who loves me. That I can be with the person I love more than anything. It never occurred to me that others were not so fortunate, least of all Gilbert.

"How did he manage? Gilbert, I mean. When I first met you two, he seemed so upbeat and jovial," (y/n) asked.

"That's because he was. Granted, the trip to Malbork Fortress was an unpleasant experience. He practically moped the whole way there. But once we got there and became better acquainted with our fellow knights, he began doing better. Unlike me, who would have rather been in the Holy Land like I had planned, Gilbert thrived at Malbork Fortress," Gillen's forlorn expression became slightly happier as he spoke of his brother's progress. "He found that he loved being there, with the other knights. Dueling, fighting, riding through the woods on patrols, and spending each day in the service of our God. Make no mistake, (y/n), he truly was himself when we met. But even so..."

His eyes fell downward once again, and his expression fell. An air of grief settled in around the two.

"I always got the feeling that he was thinking of Elizabeta. That she was living somewhere rent-free in the back of his mind. And while he was happy, I can't help but feel as though he mourns the life he felt he could've had. Had he just acted sooner."

As Gillen finished speaking, (y/n) see the beginnings of tears starting to form at the corners of his eyes. Instinctively, she lovingly lifted her hands to hold his face, gently wiping away any tears she saw. I've never seen him like this before. Like he's about to cry. Gillen froze for a second, but closed his eyes and relaxed, allowing himself to be comforted.

"You truly love him, don't you?" She leaned in just a little closer, pressing her forehead up to his. His long, choppy bangs tickling her nose.

"He's my brother. How could I not?" He responded, allowing a few tears to fall freely into her loving hands.

They sat there for a brief time. Him allowing his emotions to rise and fall like a wave, and her embracing it all as he got himself together. It was strange. While (y/n) felt sad upon hearing Gilbert's story, she was also so full of compassion for Gillen. Sweetly wiping his tears away as he made barely a sound. One of his hands rested on hers, holding it in place. When Gillen was done, he looked up to see (y/n) smiling before him.

"Thank you, (y/n)," He whispered.

"Any time. And thank you for taking the time to explain. I can tell that wasn't easy for you," She lowered her hands to rest at her side, but still held one of his as she leaned away.

After a shared, tender moment, the two of them felt it was best to get moving again. After Gillen put on his black shirt, he stopped upon taking a look at his white tunic, the black cross staring him directly in the face. The symbol of everything he was leaving behind.

"I suppose I ought to get rid of this," He furrowed his brow.

"Or wear it inside out?" (y/n) suggested. He shook his head.

"Nein, you'd be able to see the stitching pattern. But I suppose it's better than nothing," He shrugged before putting it on inside out, making the tunic just a simple, pure white, with the stitching of the cross only barely visible. "Though I'm probably going to omit the cloak and hood from here on out."

"Good," (y/n) gave a light chuckle. "I like seeing your hair. It's very pretty," She chimed as she lightly ruffled the hair on his head.

"Don't call it that," He mumbled, his face going pink.

The two of them got up and sat at the front of the cart, there their horse stood by, patiently awaiting the continuation of the journey. Once Gillen got the horse going, (y/n) leaned her head on Gillen's shoulder.

"So, exactly how long is it going to take to get to Österreich?" She inquired.

"About a month, minus a few days," Gillen informed. (y/n) hummed in acknowledgement as the sounds of nature and birds high above carried on.

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

Here! Have all of my feels! (This is what I get for writing on my period...) As always, let me know your thoughts!

[streamdotpng]

in an alt. universe of streamer enid feat. twin sibling

enid sees that wednesday starts dating her twin, and, of course, she's devastated. she basically drops off the face of the earth while going through the five stages of grief. acceptance is...hard, and really, it feels like reluctance, but she manages to get back on her feet and crawl out of the hole of despair she was in.

so she tries to move on, and it's hopeless at first. date after date, and she just can't seem to mesh with anyone. that is, until one day, she basically has a meet-ugly with someone. maybe she gets a fist to the face due to a mistaken identity or something, but whatever happens, charms enid enough for her to her ask this hot-headed stranger on a date.

and it actually goes well!

soon, one date turns to two, then three and so on and so fourth. and she's actually enjoying herself. sure, maybe the feelings she has for this person aren't as intense as the one she has for wednesday, but she finds herself thinking more and more, "i can be happy like this."

her and whoever this person is start dating officially. she's introducing them to her friends and posting it on her socials. hell, they even have some cameos on the blonde's streams. eventually they get engaged, but enid actually hasn't introduced them to her family...or wednesday

when wednesday eventually learns of the engagement, she is enraged and doesn't know why. she angry every time she sees their couple photos, any fan compilations about them, and goes absolutely apocalyptic when she learns through a 3rd party that wedding invites are being sent out. cue the oh-shit-im-in-love-with-enid epiphany, with a shit load of angst and self-loathing, and she decides to break it off with sin (that's the twins' name, right?). the goth doesn't care that enid's in an obviously serious relationship and attempts a grand confession. [douche move, wednesday]

but enid isn't the type to just drop someone (hopefully) and well, she's finally met someone who's chosen her first. her.

yes, she is still completely in love with wednesday but she's accepted that she was with her twin. wednesday chose someone else. they were on the brink of something special and wednesday still left the second she could, but enid is not going to do that. so she refuses the confession, no matter how hard it was, and maybe wednesday fucks it up more by calling enid the wrong name in the heat of the moment. and that, that was the final straw for enid. she goes on to marry her lover and now wednesday is left heartbroken.

wednesday keeps trying, though, attempt after attempt, but enid doesn't budge. she dedicates books to her, poems, and scripts. she professes her love anyway she can, and she doesn't care that her rep takes a downward turn for continuing to fawn over a married woman.

and that's basically how it goes for the rest of their lives. two people who love each other fiercely, but love wasn't enough in this situation.

definitely sorry for the uber ramble and this going all over the place. It was going to be short and then I just couldn't stop 🥲

Hello, what- nothing to be be sorry abt cynadquil just pleasantly surprised and hey totally understand wanting to write smth short and it just expands to a whole big thing

Its a writers ability

Anyways, I didn't expect people to be so interested in the lone path spin off after all

Seriously tho, very douche move on Wednesday's part. I read all this and it felt like a whole Rollercoaster.

Damn, this really is just a bad timeline. Nobody getting what they really content with in this au 💀

[gion-division]

With the COVID numbers slowly rising again (unfortunately), that's got me thinking of a question I wanted to ask...

If COVID took place in the HypMic universe, how would your OC's handle it? Would they slowly go insane from being trapped indoors? Would they develop an unhealthy drinking/smoking habit? Or would they be perfectly fine?

Koyumi herself is fine. She considers herself someone who can adapt to things pretty well, even if she is rather shaky at first. She’ll follow the regulations done to a T, will watch over Moriko and Honoka as usual, etc. She’ll be the one to go shopping for whatever the team needs to too. As expected of the Division leader, she’s got it all held together!

But what she is worried about is her profession. Her entire job centers around people; engaging in conversations, pouring tea and performing for them, etc. If she can’t do any of that, then what happens to her? Geishas are already becoming pretty scarce in the modern day because of a lack of interest, this is just making it worse…Sure she can take on some other jobs in the meantime to make income, but she definitely won’t enjoy it as much…

Honoka wouldn’t care that much to be honest. In fact, she’s the most unaffected about the pandemic. Yes, concepts such as ‘wear a mask when going outside’ and ‘social distancing’ are new and confusing to her when Koyumi first tells her about it, but considering the fact that she never went outside that much anyway, does she really need to worry?? All of Honoka’s hobbies are indoors too, so she’ll just be chilling honestly. Hana No Joō all live in the same home as well, so all of the important people in her life is right next to her. It’s not that bad!

Knowing this terminally ill child though, she’s probably gonna get COVID anyway despite all of this. Someone help her. When will she be free of this curse?

Moriko would’ve definitely had a harder time adjusting to the pandemic if she was still an actress, but now? Considering how many hours she needs to spend on drawing panels, she can’t really complain! At least she might be able to actually complete things before the deadline now since she can’t go outside much anymore; she keeps finishing her manga at the last minute because of how much she spends her time doing things outdoors. Besides, it’s not like she’ll be completely bored and only working! She can do some video game streams too whenever she’s on break, and her teammates can join in!

I guess the only thing she’s gonna miss is the in-person interactions between her and her fans…Seriously, those are so fun! She’s quite an affectionate person too, so the ‘social distancing’ thing is dreadful for her.

Yudai is DYING. Seriously, this is the most terrible situation he could imagine! He understands why these rules are established but he will continue to complain endlessly about it until his teammates distract him with something else—like gaming. He’s unintentionally the worst one out of everyone here due to his natural extroverted-ness; he gets all touchy/affectionate when greeting aka he doesn’t do social distancing, sometimes he pulls the mask below the nose, he sneaks outside anyway, etc. Get Fumio to whack him.

And you know what’s worse? You know what he hates the most? He can’t go to the fucking beaches. That’s literally what made him famous, his love for water and being a swimmer—And you’re telling me he can’t do it anymore?! Yeah his house in Enoshima has a pool that he can swim in but it’s not enough! Not enough at all!! Even the backyard lake he has back in Hokkaido is not enough for him and that’s significantly bigger! Fuck you Coronavirus! …….Maybe he should actually go into that pool to cool his head for now. Time to get mopey again.

…Well shit. Asuka is slightly distraught at the fact that he needs to stay inside. Being outside is literally his job, the whole point of archaeology is to discover ancient things, so this…sucks. It really does. He’s fine with the whole ‘online’ thing, he can definitely still teach people who are training to become archaeologists or just wants to learn history/culture in general, and he can still do part-time jobs online too but…He just doesn’t get the same energy.

…I mean, he was never a complete stickler for the rules anyway. As long as you stay away from people and wear your mask then you can be outside, right? Sooooo he can definitely go explore as long as he’s not near anybody, yeah? Yeeaahhh? :)

Fumio is hands-down the only sane person in the entire Solar Siren team when it comes this pandemic, he’s perfectly fine just being inside the household with his plants. Peace and quiet, his beloved. However, he’s looking at his teammates with the most scared look because of their feral ‘I-need-to-be-out-in-the-world’ aura. Unfortunately for his ass, he is still gonna get dragged around by Yudai whenever the olympic swimmer wants to leave anyway so someone pray for him please—Fumio doesn’t get as easily sick as Honoka does but he’s still the physically weakest out of the team so!