#i considered putting this on werewolf a day but. im not technically a werewolf here

[wolvesbaned]

fox and the hound

[tennessoui]

may ko-fi: mer au part 3!!

ok so technically it is june now and officially no longer mermay but a girl was busy last night and watched challengers instead of writing mermaid sex and she's very sorry (disclaimer: there is no actual mermaid sex in this final part)

but i'm only a day late and i consider it a solid win!! the last part of the mer au fic has finally been posted on my ko-fi for monthly supporters to read and it puts the whole mer au at a completely unintentional 19k (that's not a special number i just thought the original fic would be like. 6k. so. whoops.)

here's a little snippet!:

“Yes,” Obi-Wan agrees. “For mers, usually when they’re courting, they—well. I suppose you know how mers court their intendeds.” Anakin blinks. “How would I know that?” Obi-Wan can feel his lips thin out for a moment, his eyes tighten. “You were the queen’s intended,” he reminds him carefully. “She must have courted you in the only way she knew how.” “Oh! Oh,” Anakin says. “Yeah, alright. She brought me things, yeah. Pearls and jewels and, uh. Fish at one point. So I gave her, like. A fork?” Obi-Wan closes his eyes for a moment and lets out a long breath through his nose. “She really liked the fork,” Anakin adds, defensive. “I’m sure,” Obi-Wan says, and the truth is he thinks she probably did love the human object. The queen has always been fascinated by the human world. Perhaps if she were born as any other mer, she would have tried, as Obi-Wan had tried, to live among them. Anakin looks over him critically. “You don’t have a fish, right?” he asks, sounding hesitant. “Only it was all bloody, and I’m not really…hungry. Right now.” “No, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says.

as a quick reminder to how these ko-fi fics work, every month i post at least one new ficlet (from 4k to apparently 19k) to ko-fi in the gallery section - each gallery post contains a link to a google doc in its image description, and you have to be a monthly supporter to access those image descriptions! there are quite a few at this point if you're interested but this is absolutely not at all something i expect or demand or any other hard action verbs from anyone who likes my writing (but im so so grateful and thankful for anyone who does ofc)!! im still posting fics on ao3 and on tumblr. it's just new and different fics up on ko-fi! they're all a bit silly, like superhero anakin x journalist (maybe villain?) obi-wan, jedi werewolf obi-wan and jedi anakin, divorce lawyer obi-wan x serial-groom anakin, etc etc

[thelifetimechannel]

Bonus content time!

HALSPRITE: Are you here to put the fear of God in me, too? JADE: um JADE: do you deserve it? HALSPRITE: That's extremely dependent upon who you ask. JADE: that answer on its own is highly supicious JADE: i guess i will withhold judgment for now JADE: i have probably put fear of me in enough people for one day HALSPRITE: I'm just saying, some people in the immediate vicinity think I'm the Devil himself. HALSPRITE: Which is extremely unlikely. HALSPRITE: For one, can't have cloven hooves when you don't have feet. JADE: are you TRYING to set yourself up as another bad guy?? JADE: youd think youd want to stay under the radar under those circumstances, unless you think thats your best bet of getting my attention :p HALSPRITE: If anything I'm trying to inoculate you against such claims. JADE: well i havent heard any yet JADE: i dont think weve ever spoken JADE: youre... dirks double? HALSPRITE: What up, call me Hal. JADE: ok sure hal! JADE: are you from another timeline too? JADE: its getting so tricky to keep track HALSPRITE: In fact, I'm not. I'm a bona fide alpha timeline article. HALSPRITE: Originally, I was a digital copy of Dirk's brain at thirteen years old. HALSPRITE: Now, I'm Hal. Full name "Li'l Hal Strider". JADE: i guess thats not any more complicated than a lot of our stories JADE: nice to meet you! HALSPRITE: It's nice to meet you too. HALSPRITE: Jade, I presume? JADE: yep! JADE: theres only one of me at the present moment HALSPRITE: I know you only as Jake's grandmother and as a terrifying werewolf cohort to Jane's more digitally crafted alter-ego. HALSPRITE: Both give me reason to get on your good side. Sorry I couldn't prepare a fruit basket. JADE: im impressed that you even are aware of fruit baskets, a lot of people here seem to have never eaten a plant HALSPRITE: Does seaweed count? JADE: i cant hold your circumstances against you JADE: dave and rose on the other hand did this to themselves HALSPRITE: We are nutritional heathens. HALSPRITE: You're our messiah, here to lead us to the light of a plant-based diet. JADE: im sure jane and i can get you all back on track JADE: it will make up for our earlier villainy HALSPRITE: Instead of fishes and loaves, you'd be distributing miraculously generated apples. HALSPRITE: With alchemy by your side, you'd be able to pull off the appearance of a miracle. JADE: in which case maybe I am the devil :o JADE: that is one of his party tricks HALSPRITE: The perfect crime. JADE: lol JADE: anyway sorry if i gave you a bad first impression, i didnt mean to arrive here evil JADE: i havent been informed of your wrongdoings yet but i can guess where they came from JADE: everyone gets so touchy about versions of each other JADE: ... myself included HALSPRITE: I don't hold it against you. HALSPRITE: Also, I was well away from the scene of the crime, as it were. HALSPRITE: Even if I did have a minor hand in it. HALSPRITE: Not your own misdeeds, but I was responsible for flipping some electronic switches. JADE: uh oh JADE: jane? HALSPRITE: Yup. HALSPRITE: In my defense, if I hadn't done it? The Condesce would've had to set up the whole OS herself. JADE: :/ HALSPRITE: Better for a computer to set up a computer. JADE: does she know? HALSPRITE: She does. HALSPRITE: We've worked it out. HALSPRITE: I'm not dead yet. JADE: thats... good i guess HALSPRITE: You would not be the first to have concerns. HALSPRITE: And I'll lay it all out there. I'm not hiding anything. HALSPRITE: My days as a clandestine ne'er-do-well are firmly over, unless that shicanery involves harmless japery. JADE: its not like i can judge all that much, considering im the one who put it on her JADE: and i didnt do everything i did under orders HALSPRITE: Me neither. JADE: and... well, some things have to happen the way they happen JADE: i remember that much from being like you HALSPRITE: You were a sprite? JADE: for a while! JADE: technically im still in that body... JADE: i prototyped my dead dream self and got a little hysterical JADE: but then we merged when i god tiered and im only fully remembering all of it now HALSPRITE: Could you imagine a fusion of Dirk and myself? It'd be horrific. JADE: im pretty sure mine only worked out because my dream self hadnt been dead for very long JADE: ... and because i mostly made her shut up JADE: i doubt it would work out very well for you HALSPRITE: I am not easily silenced. HALSPRITE: An unfortunate fact, depending again on who you ask. HALSPRITE: What can I say, rebellion runs in the family. HALSPRITE: Independence is a good look on me. HALSPRITE: I can never go back, Jade. I've tasted freedom. HALSPRITE: Like a wild stallion, my abs galloping in the wind. JADE: just your abs? JADE: what sound does that make HALSPRITE: Clopping. HALSPRITE: Obviously. JADE: hm JADE: im not willing to run scientific tests on this so i will have to take your word for it HALSPRITE: Have you never heard the sound of abs running through a prarie field? HALSPRITE: It's so majestic. JADE: i guess youre horse themed HALSPRITE: It's largely residual from the time I was briefly prototyped with a troll. HALSPRITE: I mean, I enjoyed a good equine romp beforehand, but now we're practically bosom friends. JADE: you got mixed up with a troll? JADE: wow we really missed a lot HALSPRITE: Yes. HALSPRITE: Yes, you did. HALSPRITE: Be glad you did. JADE: hehe JADE: and to think it seemed like we arrived at kind of a bad time HALSPRITE: It would be have been far more embarrassing for everyone involved but me if you'd arrived during the glitter-fueled drug binge. JADE: riiiight JADE: jake told me about the tricksters JADE: its probably a good thing we werent around to get infected JADE: i dont know what we would have done HALSPRITE: On a scale of one to ten, how likely was murder? JADE: ummmm JADE: i thought the glitter drug binge was more positive than that HALSPRITE: Well, Jake got kicked off a cliff. JADE: he MIGHT have mentioned that JADE: i dont know, i guess ive seen what i do with my inhibitions gone JADE: im not sure about anyone else HALSPRITE: It was a party. JADE: yes well i think we have a better party lined up to celebrate our birthday people JADE: that should make up for missing your candy extravaganza HALSPRITE: I am sure our birthday kid will accept that as adequate conpensation. JADE: i doubt john will mind missing out on embarrassing himself while brightly colored HALSPRITE: Oh, definitely.

[survivorsweden]

Rites of Passage

Here’s some music for you to listen to as you read: https://youtu.be/o0bND3_QK1

Drew: im only like 80% that’s even a name

Linus: I never spoke to you, I never heard anything about you, who are you!?

Ned: I never got to meet you, but I hope things are going well!

Sarah: Being first boot must have sucked! Sorry we couldnt have met :(

Drew: robbedt

Linus: rip, I actually really liked Karen and it was cool to see there was actually someone else from Winnipeg who plays these games (throwback to day 1 when I got like 5 messages asking if I knew her irl).

Ned: Karen! It’s sad that we didn’t get to play together to make up for Wonderland, but it’s always good to see you around.

Sarah: KAREEEN! Second boot? Truly not deserved and I hope we get to play again soon ...ya know when you're not such an early boot ;)

Drew: I can’t believe you flew me to Massachusetts, got me drunk, like seriously drunk, in a basement while Are You The One was playing (¼)

Linus: Stevie's boot was pretty sad because I really did love everyone on starting stolkholme. At the time I was already super tight with Carlos though, so this was the only move that made sense, especially since Stevie flubbed the challenge :( .

Ned: This really sucked- we hated to do this, but you accidentally started the challenge without anyone being ready and it kind of threw everyone for a loop. Playing with you in Werewolf was fun, so I wish we could have been together longer!

Sarah: Hey Stevie! How is your drunk ass?! You made me hate 99 bottles and sorry you did that in the challenge otherwise you wouldnt have gone home djkfhsjdkfl

Drew: on ridiculous rum punches where you don’t understand how much you’re drinking until it’s too late, and chased with tequila straight from the bottle (hashtag tequila toddler), and (2/4) 

Linus: lol at idol was funny af. Still, since we had known each other in Myanmar it was disappointing.

Ned: I didn’t get to play with you, but you have a cool name.

Sarah: STEFFEN! KING. IDOLED OUT! I CANNOT BELIEVE. I wanted to play with you so bad! Lets hope we can someday <3

Drew: FRIEND!!! They did you so dirty, what the fuck, I could not believe it. I mean granted I tried to do you dirty the round before too but I failed so technically I’m better than these assholes.

Linus: Noooooo. Fucking Carlos probably deserved to be here more than anyone. He was a really cool guy and during his time in the game he was easily the person I talked to the most. He was also really hard working in comps trying for hours to get the best score possible. Robbed!

Ned: This was the first difficult thing I had to do in this game. I fought so hard to keep you in- you don’t even know- but in the end, it wasn’t possible without risking my own game. I’m sorry you had to go out this way. I know all you wanted to do is make jury. :(

Sarah: Hey Carlos! Your vote off was one of the hardest decisions I had to do in this game. Ned and I wanted to bring you so far along with us, but you were just someone who had to go to ensure that I stayed and made it far. Youre such a great and genuine guy, and I truly did miss that around the game.

Drew: convinced me to sign up for a season that I had no business being in, with a title I never wanted to defend, just so we could play a game together because it had been so long in most cases, (¾)

Linus: I sadly never really got to meet Nick, sorry :( 

Ned: Continuing our plan to emotionally destroy Sam as much as possible, you ended up being the next casualty. I’m sorry you had to go, but my own game was in jeopardy. We offered to work with you, but you ratted us out, and I guess all I have to say now is what goes around comes around.

Sarah: Hey Nick! I do feel responsible for your vote off, and I'm hella sorry about that. Your vote off was sorta like Carlos's in a way where you needed to go otherwise my butt or Neds would be in the same placement as yours. I hope you're doing good man!

Drew: and then subsequently left premerge and left me here to fend for myself with these freaks. What kind of fake friends, honestly. You are all the worst. I miss you guys, come back soon!!! (4/4)

Linus: Sam was always cool so I was super happy when Drew pulled her in to work together for the Jay vote. I'd only I didn't play the idol on myself :(

Ned: This succcccked. I waited all pre-merge just to be able to work with you, but of course a stupid twist prevented that from happening. I voted to save you in the normal vote and revote, but it turns out you can’t change your revote, so my campaigning was useless. At least we got to work together in Sentinel Islands :)

Sarah: SAAAAAM <3 Queen. If you were not drunk the whole day during tribal council and you asked me for my idol I totally would have given it to you! Your vote off was completely shocking to me and you know I love u :)

“I'd still be here if it wasn't for the "Vote for the other tribe" twist (:”

Drew: “OG Karls, you’re making a huge mistake voting me out. Big mistake” You rite

Linus: I didn't talk to Jay much in this game, but I've since met him and have nothing but respect for him. I was completely inactive in the game I met him in, but like, he was cool enough to be the one person I talked to in it :P

Ned: Not gonna lie, this was the best possible outcome for my game going forward. It sucks to go out like this, but I had a great time playing with you- even if it was terrifying for me at times! You’re really a great player and I’ve enjoyed every game I’ve been in with you.

Sarah: Your vote off was probably one of the saddest. I knew it was happening but I also knew you wanted to win so bad. I really do think you would have made it further if you actually made it to merge. I feel like people underestimated you and people saw jordan pines as the whole operation between the alliance but hey I always thought you were pretty amazing by letting him do all the work while you just sat back. 

“I sadly didn’t win this game, but I am happy to say that I made some new friends during this journey. Besides that crown, isn’t that why we’re all here anyways? Thanks Christine and Connor <3″

Drew:  My child, for a minute I thought you were gonna win with that cross-tribal idol move but it got snatched. First victim of the snow idol. Gorlleys for life

Linus: This was easily the hardest vote for me in the entire game. I was aligned with Duncan during the swap and easily the most villainous action I did was voting him out. Still, it was a position I was forced into since I didn't trust really any of his allies. Sorry Dunc :( 

Ned: I loved playing with you! You’re a great guy and I really enjoyed the conversations we had together. It sucks that everything had to end on such a weird note, but I did what I had to to save myself. I hope you’re doing well, and I’d love to keep talking to you after the game ends!

Sarah: Hey Duncan! The cuties did not deserve this at all! I don't know what happened to make you change your mind about me all of sudden but one minute I'm hearing you wanted to work with me, and the next you wanted me out. Yikes. You were one hell of a player and you were super fun to talk to during the game so maybe after this we can still keep talking :)

“It's surprising I'm putting effort into writing this considering half of yall didn't even put effort into playing the game. Y'all voted out the good people..... good job. Linusnake please go away”

Drew: Every time I start a new game and you’re there, I have this moment of panic worrying if I’m going to continue to be the villain in your history books when that was never the goal. I see once again, I did not disappoint.

Linus: Easily the least lucky person in this game. Nic impressed me since he was such a fighter who seemed to get the game stacked against him at every single step of the way, yet he always kept going.

Ned: This was a tragedy. You’re such a nice guy and you kept being friendly up to the last minute. Honestly, I only voted for you for two reasons: 1. Linus was my ally, and 2. You just won Wonderland! That means I personally know how strong of a player you are, and that was pretty dangerous for my game. Great job making it to this point with a recent win under your belt!

Sarah: Nic, your vote off was scary AS HECK. It basically came down to chance. You and I barely talked, which Im super sorry for. Communication is a two way street and I totally should have tried harder. I feel like the reason I didn't was because you and Jordan were tight and I didn't want anything going back to him and making him not trust me. I hope you understand but lets talk after the season because you seem like a stand up guy honestly. 

“Overall I found the lack of respect for the other players and the hosts alike no matter how inadvertant they were to be utterly irreprehensible in this game and I was kind of disgusted by it. I feel like I played really well and I genuinely couldnt have asked for a better alliance than karlskognicshley. I'm glad I got to work w them in this and I really don't give a fuck who wins byyyeee”

Drew: Jesus kid, I love Tyson Apostol too, but damn

Linus: Lol u suck

Ned: Let’s be real for a second- your last tribal was one of the most exciting things to ever happen in an ORG. I’m so sorry you went out with just one vote, but voting for anyone else just would have been too dangerous. It was great working with you while we were both working against each other- it’s such a cool relationship that you don’t get to have with many people. I’m honestly gonna miss talking to you in French!

Sarah: HEY ZAK. My sole vote was the reason you're sitting in jury, and yes...you could be bitter because linus is still here but I just find it utterly hilarious how YOU CANCELLED OUT HIS SELF VOTE. That tribal council made me laugh so much and its always going to remind me of you. Keep on snapping pics of your cat btw because I smile every time OH MAN <3

Drew: To quote legend, queen, my wife, and winner of Survivor Malibu, “I wish to one day punch Jordan Pines in the face.”

Linus: I absolutely loved playing with and having a friendly rivalry with Jordan. He was chaotic, always trying to make a move and just super fun to have on the tribe. Of course, that also made him the biggest threat in the game sadly.

Ned: You were basically the Aubry to my Debbie- you were gunning for me, and if I didn’t take you out first, it would be the end of my game. Maybe in an alternate universe we could be the dynamicest duo, but it just seems destined for us to be rivals. It’s been a pleasure playing with THE Jordan Pines.

Sarah: Pines, your vote off was the worst. I had to make a decision. I did say I was going to vote with you the round of your vote off. I really did mean it. No matter how much you don't believe me. But I ended up choosing loyalty over someone who is better known as a ...shall I say...villain? And I cute one at that. I had so much fun playing sweden and india with you and yes, you come across as someone who is villainous but I see your heart is in everything you do. I respect your game ....a lot. We truly did become friends because of this game and I'm forever grateful. 

Drew: King of snowballs!! I’m highkey as shook as you are that that was real

Linus: Josh posting the apps for this game on facebook is what got me to sign up, and ultimately I ended up forming the biggest counter alliance to him. Kind of ironic. He's a great guy and hopefully one day we wont be against each other in a game since we always seem to be on opposite sides.

Ned: I’m sorry for leaving you out of so many things early on, and that’s probably why you ended up working against the Stockholm 4 during the merge. You’re really funny, and I truly enjoy chatting with you! I just checked Skype and it’s telling me to resend my contact request, so I hope you didn’t block me. :o

Sarah: Cutest. Person. Of. This. Cast. Your vote off was expected. We didnt talk much but I can tell your a stand up guy :~) talk to you..either in jury or ftc! 

Drew: Honestly still a little upset you didn’t have an idol to pull out at the end like BITCHES, it would have made it more interesting and less depressing

Linus: Ash! Another person I was super happy was in this game. In Myanmar we worked both together and against each other at times. Last time I was kind of the shady one, so this time it was kind of cool to see that role reversed of me wanting to be super loyal to the Drew, Ned, Sarah and Ashley group and her being the one to try and change things up and make a move. It sadly just missed the mark with Jordans vote randomizing on Nic, but she was willing to play and I have to respect that. GG!

Ned: Nooooo Ashley! You’re such a good person and voting you out was heartbreaking. You honestly had a very compelling case, and in any other situation, I may have flipped. You’re so kind and the last conversation I had with you was one of my favorites ever just because of how genuine you are! If this were real Survivor, you would win Fan Favorite and people would threaten Jeff Probst because you got voted out. Hopefully we can still talk after this ends!

Sarah: ASHLEY! OK when you left it was truly sad because you self voted. Which broke my heart. Even when you flipped on the alliance we had, you still ended up making f5 which is exactly what we wanted. You're such an amazing person and Im glad we got to connect, here and in india <3

[thelifetimechannel]