#i collect my own health data for two reasons. 1 i need to understand it myself

[hylianengineer]

This is very validating. I make charts and graphs of my symptoms but have thus far resisted the urge to show them to my doctors because I thought they would think it was weird. I did infodump about the statistics of my PMS symptoms once and I think it may be the most autistic thing I've done in my entire life. I am both embarrassed and very proud of myself for that.

Also, those statistics are how I figured out my depression got worse immediately before my periods, which as it turns out is A Thing. Knowing that and being able to explain to my OBGYN what was going on has made my life so much beter. Hooray for the power of data and infodumping!

I love my patients. Like, I tend to attract former engineers, and they bring me detailed spreadsheets, and sometimes it’s unnecessary and sometimes it’s amazing. And sometimes there are graphs about their gas.

[kewltie]

“Papa, we need to talk,” Kasumi says, strolling into the living room with a thick binder tucked against her chest.

“Yes?” Papa stops folding their laundry and turns to her, adopting a serious expression on his face. “Unicorn’s vomit?”  

Kasumi nods her head. Unicorn’s vomit is their secret code for dire, serious business that requires their full attention. “It’s about your marriage,” she answers gravely.

Papa blinks. "Say that again?"

"Marry," she says, enunciating the word carefully. "It's about time for you to get marry, so I brought some options for you to choose from."

"Kasumi-chan, I thought we’d talked about this." Papa frowns, looking concern. "I'm happy with just us two. I'm not looking for another person to add into our family."

Kasumi sighs, because they did but Papa fought it off every time like it's her happiness is on the line here and not his. She got this though. Didn't spend an hour rehearsing her argument to not win.

“Papa," she starts, "I’m getting older now and one day I won’t be able to take care of you anymore—“

“You’re ten,” Papa cuts in.

Kasumi scowls. “That’s not the point though! I’m just saying I can’t always be with you and I don’t want you to feel lonely when I’m not there.”

“I won’t be alone,” Papa points out. “I have your grandmother with me.”

“Who will die before you,” she counters viciously. And then, she sends a silence apology to grandmother for using her against Papa. “And where will that leave you?”

Papa winces. “Can we please not speak of death so early in the morning?”

Kasumi’s lips thin in displeasure, but she lets her shoulders hunched over, making herself smaller as she says, “I just want you to be happy and surrounded by someone who can love you even when I’m not there.”

Papa's eyes soften at her words.

Jackpot. Now going in for the kill, Kasumi looks away for a second and drops her voice to a slight tremor like she can barely contain her emotion. "A—and I always wanted to know what it's like to have another parent like all the other kids."

"Oh, Kasumi-chan," Papa breaths, and there's a slight wet sheen to his eyes. He catches her free hand in his and squeezes it comfortingly. His lips wobble precariously but he holds firm enough to says, "Okay, I understand."

Kasumi tries not to smile but it's near thing.

It's a silence and unacknowledged victory, but she'll take it. "Perfect," she declares, pulling away from Papa enough to show him her portfolio. "This," she points toward her binder, "is 'Operation: Get Papa a Rich Handsome Alpha Husband' or as I call it 'Get rich or Die Trying'."

"That's—" Papa frowns, making a face before finally settling on, "a cute name."

Kasumi puffs up her chest proudly. It took her some time to come up with it. "Isn't it?" She opens the binder and steers Papa's eyes to the first page. "Now, I'd carefully handpicked and narrowed down a handful of viable candidates so far for you. I'd chosen only the best of the bests for you, Papa!" She flips to the next page where several categories are listed out. "I placed each candidate in order by how they fair in the ratings in the criteria I found them in."

Papa cocks his head thoughtfully. "Such as?"

"Well, wealth for one, then looks, family oriented, reputation, employment," she starts, listing them off one by one, "character, likeability, past relationship, education, health, and feelings toward the quirkless."

Papa's eyes twitches. "That's very thorough, Kasumi-chan."

"I did my homework." She preens. It took her several months to gather all the necessary information needed for her data sheets, but she'd pulled through. The fact that a lot of things can be found on the internet had helped a lot, but it was a long and arduous work. Anything for her Papa, indeed.

"Thank you for the hard work." Papa's eyes crinkle and he smiles softly at her. "You're amazing as always, Kasumi-chan." And it's this kind of thing that make Kasumi's heart soar because only Papa, her dearest Papa, make her feels so elated that he wants to launch herself into his lap and scream in joy. She’d known that she’s strong and mighty only because she got Papa to support her up.

At the end of the day, Kasumi is really no good without her Papa.

So, right, she got a mission to complete. "Of course." She clears her throat. Turning several pages forward, she lands on a spread with a picture glued to a corner, several graphs, and blocks of text all over it. "Now, the no. 1 candidate so far at a 7.2 rating is Hirota Ryuu—"

"Our family doctor?" Papa's brows furrow. "And your highest is a 7.2 out of what, a ten?"

"Yes, Hirota-sensei! And there's always room for improvement." She huffs. "Not everyone can be as perfect as you and me, Papa."

Papa stifles a laugh into his hand. "Okay, go on."

"Alright," she says, straightening her back. "For one thing: he's handsome enough that you won't get bored looking at his face, he's a doctor so he must make enough money to spoil you, and he's nice. All the kids and parents I'd interviewed like him a lot. And so do you." Kasumi eyes Papa pointedly and Papa blushes. “He’s blond. Just your type, Papa.”

"Well, he is handsome," he admits wistfully. “And I do like blond hair.”

"Good," she nods her head, pleased with herself, "because I gave him bonus point for that. Anyone that you attracted to get extra points for making you happy,” she says, touching a careless hand to a stray blond hair of her own. Papa really does like blond hair.  

Papa's lips wobble again and he reaches out for a hug but she steps out of the way, shaking her head. "Nope, not until I'm done then you can give me all the snuggles and kisses you want," she says, like it's a heavy burden to be basked in Papa's loving attention and care.

Papa's face fall as he sits back down, but he holds himself still and rapt in attention before her again. "Okay, so," she plows on, "Hirota-sensei scores pretty good all across the board, but the only reason his score is that low is the fact he's a serial dater." She makes a face."I can't have Papa competing with others for sensei's attention when it's the other way around. Your partner should always put your first and foremost!"

"Right," Papa agrees in amusement, which made Kasumi's narrow her eyes slightly because this is serious business.

It's Papa's happiness on the line here, so she's not playing around. "Alright, so next we have as candidate no. 2 is," she says, flipping several pages ahead, "Todoroki Shouto or as he is known to the public Hero Synergy. He's a 7.0 and a pretty good catch overall. I think he’s good secondary choice."

Papa perks up at that.

"You love heroes and he's from a family of them so that gave Todoroki-san a huge advantage over the other competitors,” she continues. “And if you look at his income bracket—”

Papa grimaces. “Kasumi-chan, is that category really necessary? Isn’t just enough if I like him at all?”

Kasumi gives him a look. "Papa, I may be young but I'm no fool," she says, rolling her eyes. "Love alone is not going keep a roof over our head and put food on our table. Here," she points toward a number distribution chart, "this is the average annual income for a top ranking hero. Since his father was a former no. 1 and he also got a good reputation with the public, Todoroki-san has a good amount of sponsors and contracts. That’s mean he’s loaded, Papa,” she says the last sentence carefully in case Papa hadn’t pick up the clue yet.

Papa heaves an amused sigh and nods. “Alright, he’s rich got it.”

“Now, his only downsize," Kasumi grimaces, "is that he got the personality of a brick wall."

Papa chokes out a laugh. "You shouldn't say something like that, Kasumi-chan!"

"Well," she starts, looking heavenward in annoyance, "he is a little dull. His interviews all come off as tedious as watching paint dry and I nearly fell asleep a minute in watching them. His beautiful face can only get him so far. A handsome partner is fine but if their personality is nothing but a stale bread then you'll only get bored later. Emi-chan told me that a relationship need some spice in it to spark passion," she explains. Emi is only a months older than her, but she held hand with a boy before so she knows what she's saying.

Papa reels back, flushing. "You're too young to have that kind of conversation with your friends."

"Okay," she lies effortlessly, like the lying liar that she is. "So moving on to no. 3 now." She turns the page once more, but this time reluctantly as she lands on the next one.

"He's—" she pulls a face, "not my prefer choice but, here is Bakugou Katsuki or Hero Ground Zero as you may know him with a 6.9 rating."

Papa immediately stiffens at that name and eyes zeroes in on Bakugou's page right away. No surprise there.

Growing up, how can she not noticed that Bakugou have always been a trigger for Papa. "I don't like him," she states flatly with narrowed eyes. "Sure he's handsome, powerful, and is the no.1 hero in Japan but he's also rude, belligerent, and annoying." She can tick off all his flaws all day, she isn’t going to waste her breath on him. "There are other candidates fairing much better than him all other categories. He's only rated so high," she eyes Papa meaningfully, "because you like-like him so much."

Papa stutters. "W-what?!”

"I know about the photos of Zero you've collected and hidden under the bed! You don't have to lie to me, Papa," she says, smiling sharply. "I know of your crush on him. You watched his entire interviews and bought all his merchs like you don't know I wasn't going to find it eventually. I even think he’s the reason you have such a blond fetish."

“Don’t say fetish. Who even taught you that word?” Papa drops his face into his hand and groans. "Mercy. Mercy, please, Kasumi-chan. Let me live.”

“I just pity any offspring produce from his DNA,” she grumbles. “They’re probably as terrible as him.”

Papa lifts his head and breathes, “Oh, Kasumi-chan, you’re going to regret those words so much.”

[basia2002ib]

Profile & summary of my CAS

Learning outcomes

All in all I can say I achieved all learning outcomes. 

1. I identified own strengths and developed areas for growth. I got involved in activities that based on my prevailing skills but opened new ways to develop. Language can be deepened without limits; although I have got a certified C2 level in German I can still develop my skills and I continued to do so throughout my CAS.

2. I have undertaken a range of challenges, for instance passing a C2 exam in German seemed outlandish at first but then I got used to the idea and focused all my efforts to pursuing this goal. And I did it, even though it might seem abstract. I wanted to challenge myself to spice up my life a little bit and grow personally from the process. Now I can see a difference - my German language skills developed to such degree that when I am reading literature in German now I see an immense difference - now I can easily spot nuances and extract the deep meaning.

3. I initiated and planned CAS experiences thoroughly. I am a pragmatic person who tends to stick to the plan because it gives direction. CAS stages came naturally to me, I did not have to force them because they are inherent parts of planning process. My intellectual challenges undertaken in German - 2 competition and one language certificate required detailed planning for adequate preparation. Also my internship in the foundation required planning and time-management skills as I had to combine it with my various initiatives and rigorous IB programme. CAS stages were useful to plan my CAS project as well - I was in MUN staff, which means I coorganized WawMUN 2019.

4. Commitment and perseverance are prerequisite for success. I understand it therefore in every action I take these factors resonate. Otherwise I would accomplish my goals such as honours in German, I would not be able to play volleyball in the first-line up or I would not fulfill my demanding duties throughout my internship effectively. These are only examples of actions where I used my commitment and perseverance to succeed.

5. I saw benefits of working collaboratively during the WawMUN 2019 conference, which I organized as my CAS project but also in my internship in the foundation and my service as a student goverment vice president. In the student government we need to rely on one another and have each other’s back. We do share responsibilities to make sure nothing is neglected. We help each other and in case of emergency may replace one another either during a debate or while discussing issues with the head mistress. Throughout my internship I served as an assistant therefore I needed to adjust to the current responsibilities. I was instructed by more experienced employees all the way and assigned tasks. WawMUN conference is the biggest MUN in Poland therefore the organization process is complicated and required the division of tasks. If we did not trust each other and if we did not share responsibilities, the effect would not be so spectacular. The results showed the benefits of the team work from its best side.

6. I engaged with issues of gloabl significance throughout my CAS project which was co-organizing the MUN conference. Practising debating skills is crucial in today’s world and new generations of politicians have a chance to challenge their capabilities on the conference. The topics discussed in individual commitees touched upon issues of global significance. It is great to give my peers a chance to gain skills, delve into controversial subjects and defend their position. Some of them would probably pursue politics further in life; MUN conferences are truly inspirational in this respect.

7. One of the ethical issues I adressed during my activity as a student government vice president was the animal consumption. To relieve the environment, make my own step to reduce cruelty against animals, at least at the local level, I negotiated with the canteen supervisor to introduce vegan food. Unfortunately it was not possible to serve vegan dinners because of technical diffuculties but vegan sandwiches appeared in the canteen soon after our proposal. This is the way to satisfy needs of people on a plant-based diet but also a way to promote environmentally friendly food, with no associated cruelty.

Creativity

I love literature and foreign languages. Throughout my CAS, I combine this two effectively to follow both of my passions simultaneously. I read and write a lot in German and do far beyond what is required in my school. My goals in German are wide-ranging and not confined to my German B classes, but I challenged myslef to take part in competition and to read German literature. Once I have read “The Sorrows of Young Werther”, “Faust”, “The Visit”, “The Trial” in original and it commenced my relationship with German literature. I was captivated by it to such extent that I made a German classic “The Magic Mountain” the center of my Extended Essay. I also chose “The Metamorphosis” by Franz Kafka to use in my oral exam. Thomas Mann and Franz Kafka are one of my favourite writers of all time and they allow me to trace different nuances of German language. Close analysis of these works of art should involve in my opinion delving into the original work. A valuable experience might be to compare it with the translation, which I did throughout my independent study.

My tangible achievements in German (the evidence for my skills) were: a C2 certificate in German, a disitinction in the translation contest “Juvenes Translatores” organized by the European Commision and a finalist title in the National German Olympiad. I reached my aforementioned goals in 2020. They involved CAS stages. 1. I investigated the area I wanted to deepen my skills in and specific aims I wanted to pursue and these were competitions in German. 2. I prepared my strategy, researched the most respectable competitions and exams I wanted to take part in, signed up for them and planned preparation which was necessary because of huge amounts of school work and limited free time. 3. I took specific action, exposed myself to the language days before the exam and throughout multiple months I was doing practice papers, reading and watching a lot. 4. I realized that by pursuing my passion in German and going beyond the curriculum I freed myself and could really delve into the language. The experience provided me with the sense of purpose - my life was not only concerned with my Diploma syllabus but I could get acquainted with literature and recognized the power of translation in terms of its strong influence on the reception of foreign texts. 

From then onward I worked to maintain my German on the same high level. I should not take it for granted - I am not a native speaker. My accomplishements required huge amounts of work and also talent but might disappear if not cared for properly.

Activity

In the course of my CAS journey I have been active in many disciplines. Sport is one of my few ways to unwind and stop stressing about reality. I think that the limited possibilities to practice sport were one of the major obstacles during the pandemic. I was deprived of my only way to switch off and relax. Before the pandemic I used to swim and play volleyball in a school team every week plus I attended 3 Physical Education classes per week. Now my prefered activities are not possible to pursue because of lockdown which entailed school, sport halls and swimming pool closures. Moreover I am concerned with the virus. At the start of 2020 we managed to take the fouth place in district-wide volleyball competition. My team and I wanted to improve next year but the pandemic unexpectedly shattered my plans. I am grateful, however, for having been given a chance to represent my school in the first line-up. Moreover, I would attend volleyball practice every Saturday.

My PE classes give me a chance to play volleyball, football or do fitness. I enjoy almost every activity that is physically demanding. And I am also great in sport which boosts my motivation. Beyond school, I used to exert myself a lot in swimming and have difficulties to find enjoyment in it. However, I am a really good swimmer and it strengthens my determination, improves posture and health.

Throughout the pandemic, I have been practising sport independently, as it is an extremely important part of my life. However, in the first lockdown in the spring I used to overexert myself doing long and intensive workouts every day on an empty stomach to the point when I got health problems. I had to give it up and switched to another physical activity, less demanding but equally fun: walking. Never before have I taken walks so often as during the pandemic. Now, in the winter lockdown I also go for a walk sometimes.

Service

I began my CAS journey in 2019 with giving tutoring to a primary school student from a underprivileged background. Teaching subjects I am comfortable in (English and German) and his improved grades were reasons for my satisfaction. It required a lot of patience and perseverance as it was extremely difficult to teach him something because firstly he lacked motivation and secondly he had difficulties memorizing. This made it a huge challenge but turned out to be rewarding.

The second half of my first IB year (2020) I sacrificed for my internship (voluntary work) in a foundation.  My scope of activity consisted in the cooperation with the Fundraising Director and the Spokeswoman of the foundation; I had duties related to fundraising and media such as: preparing summaries of the reports from humanitarian missions for fairs in Dubai, translating posts for English social media profiles, collecting data for media reports, translating official requests for the sponsorship, gathering contact details of potential sponsors i.e. big companies and Presidents of the biggest Polish cities, monitoring press mentions.

Throughout 2020 I have also been fulfilling duties of the student government vice president. My team was elected in February 2020 and until now (beginning of 2021) I hold this position. I resolve current problems with the head mistress, co-organize and participate in events e.g. open days, control social media, coordinate logistics. In March we attended an event for student governments across Warsaw. I also tried to organize the Physics conference with my 2 friends in my school but it was cancelled last-minute due to imposed school closure, one week before it was scheduled to take place. Everything had been arranged with lecturers and we had to cancel feeling miserable.

My wide range of CAS activities - other examples

Apart from my core activities which I described, I got involved in numerous other CAS experienced described on this blog. One of the most enriching ones was my participation in the process of creation of a book. I wrote my own essay to a book published this month by my former class teacher. I entitled my work: “School is people: about sparking authenticity and breaking patterns”. I also cooked a lot and published some of my recipes on the blog, wrote to my school newspaper, took part in environmental protests, wrote some poems, some diary entry, practiced Frech, including writing, took many beautiful photos on my trips abroad,... 

I also co-organized WawMUN2019 conference as my CAS project.

[addictivegerard]

why the prolife argument makes no sense

I think it’s hilarious how right wing “facts don’t care about your feelings” activists are almost always pro-life. The argument against abortion as an accessible form of birth control is 100% an emotional appeal, and here’s why:

1. “You have no right to kill your fetus. It’s not your body, the baby is an individual and has the right to life.”: 

Of course, all embryos are human individuals, separate from their mothers. They have their own unique DNA composition, and are definitely alive. But do they deserve the right to life, which would make abortion equivalent to murder?

Pro-lifers are largely okay with IVF, an industry that throws away and destroys millions of fertilized embryos every day. In-vitro fertilization is an uncertain science, so couples are advised to fertilize multiple eggs in the labs in case the first few don’t work out. If a couple succeeds and have extra embryos left, they have the option to continue paying to store them in the lab, donate them to medical research, or destroy them. 

Anti-abortion bills always have exceptions for IVF clinics. Republican, pro-life lawmakers have literally had children via IVF. If a pro-lifer ever tells you that life begins at conception and that every embryo has the right to life, know that it’s bullshit. They don’t care about an industry that kills more embryos in a day than Planned Parenthood does in a year.

2. There are two possible responses to this.

A) “Fine, let’s ban IVF.” Out of all the conservative groups in America, only one major group explicitly stands against IVF – the Catholic Church. The same organization that condemns sex before marriage, homosexuality, divorce, masturbation/porn, the use of condoms, getting drunk or high, and tattoos. At this point, I’m assuming you understand that the Church’s ideas of morality are regressive, illogical, primitive, and… make life extremely boring. IVF is a wonderful science that brings children to parents who want them all over the world and is in no way a bad thing.

B) “Fine. Maybe not at conception, but at [x] months, it’s a baby.” This is the point where most conservatives start arguing about the point up till you should be allowed to have an abortion. Two weeks? Six weeks? Three months? Unfortunately, there is no scientific way to determine when an embryo is no longer just a clump of cells and now a human being with rights.

Since pro-lifers are okay with IVF, we can assume they don’t believe in the right to life at conception. How about the heartbeat theory? At six weeks, the fetus develops a heartbeat, and proponents argue that it is the point at which the fetus is no longer simply a fetus, but a human being. However, having a heartbeat doesn’t necessarily mean you have the right to life.

Legally, if you are brain dead, you’re… dead. You no longer have the right to life, which is why organ donation is possible. All this while having a heartbeat, so that’s clearly not a viable hallmark of an individual that inherently has the right to life. So while it's true that at six weeks a baby develops (what is flimsily termed as) a heartbeat, that doesn't somehow give it rights to life that it did not have before. So far, I haven’t come across any other sensible theories as to “when” an embryo deserves the right to life. It’s a lousy concept to begin with, as blurry as the legal definition of adulthood – not all 18+ year olds are mature and nothing fundamentally changes in a person once the clock strikes midnight. Similarly, embryo development is a process. There’s really no point at which you can logically claim it’s transformed into a human being with rights.

3. Evidently, there are two extremes — life begins at conception, vs life doesn’t begin until birth. 

There’s no “scientific backing” for a point in between, but you’ll never find a pro-choice advocate arguing in favor of the latter, because it’s called an extreme for a reason. The best way to deal with the abortion issue at this point is to leave the science and technicalities alone, and think about the people who are actually getting abortions.

4. “Use protection and you won’t get pregnant”: 

Protection is never 100% reliable. Plus: if two people are irresponsible enough to have unprotected sex, what makes you think they’re responsible enough to have and raise children? The number of children growing up with unqualified, immature, abusive, or neglectful parents automatically disproves the theory that parenthood brings about a sense of personal responsibility. Being raised by bad parents inflicts often irreparable damage on children. Treating babies as some sort of “divine punishment” for irresponsible sex, instead of human beings who deserve a stable upbringing, is harmful on both an individual and collective scale. The data on irresponsible, neglectful, or abusive childhoods/single parent childhoods speaks for itself. In the quest to punish irresponsible parents, most of the damage is inflicted on their children, which in turn impacts the generation that will lead us forward into the future. It is in our best interests to raise as many mature, healthy, and productive young adults as possible, and while not every child born into these circumstances live lives of mental health/psychological/intimacy issues and criminal behavior, a large majority do. Growing up with bad parents is simply not ideal for an impressionable child’s wellbeing. Quality of life > quantity of life.

5. “Don’t have sex if you don’t want to have children.”:

Unhelpful, unrealistic, and telling of no real desire to solve the problem at hand. Telling people not to have sex unless they deliberately intend to have children is like telling people not to smoke, drink too much, or eat unhealthily. People will have sex. What are we going to do to make sure the sex doesn’t lead to unplanned pregnancies?

6. “Okay but what about xyz who had an abortion and has regretted it ever since?”: 

Abortion is a result of unplanned and unfortunate circumstances. Whether it’s because the doctor tells you your baby will be stillborn or born with a fatal illness, or if you were raped, or if you had sex with your boyfriend during your first year of college and found yourself pregnant: these are bad situations, and no matter what you do, there’s always a chance you’ll look back and wish you’d done things differently. Kept the baby? Well, maybe you’ll find that the baby brought newfound purpose to your life. But maybe the baby added an additional financial strain to your life and forced you to quit your job, leaving you destitute and homeless with no way to feed it. Alternatively, if you got an abortion, maybe you end up being able to finish college and fulfil all your goals... or maybe you regret that decision for the rest of your life. There’s no way to guarantee that you’re making the right decision, but being informed about your options, and having options available, makes it more likely that you do. That’s why we are advocating for informed choice. Whether they eventually choose to keep the baby or have an abortion, give women the time and resources to truly evaluate their options and do what’s best for them in their own circumstances.

7. “Why kill the baby? Put it up for adoption.”: 

The adoption system is known for being isolating, exploitative, and unhealthy for children growing up in it. Being adopted into a great family can create healthy, happy young adults. But far too many kids don’t get that opportunity, and pay the price for it. In 2019, 122,216 children in the US adoption system were waiting to be adopted. Young people who age-out of the foster care system without being adopted are over-represented in rates of incarceration, suicide and substance abuse.

Granted, for some kids it’s a better alternative to the families they would have grew up in, but again: it’s an unideal situation. An unideal situation that can very easily be avoided with abortion. Why would a person choose 9 months of labor, plus all the emotional labor of having to give your child away to a system that more likely than not will eat them alive, knowing they will grow up asking themselves why they weren’t good enough for their birth parents, when the person could… simply not have that baby and not invite all that pain?

8. “It doesn’t matter, no one has the right to take another life.”:

Here’s another way of looking at the abortion question: the fetus is in a position where its existence impinges on its mother’s bodily integrity, and it stays in that position until the point of viability (at which it could plausibly survive outside the mother’s body) at about 24 weeks. One person’s bodily integrity will always override another person’s right to life; this is a fundamental truth. Otherwise, we would have mandatory kidney and liver donations. People all over the world are dying due to a lack of kidneys or other organs - why should we be allowed to keep both of ours when one of them could save someone’s life? 

Let’s say I caused a car accident that resulted in someone needing a kidney donation. It’s my fault they’re in that position, and I was negligent - should I be legally obligated to give mine up?

If the idea of being forced to donate one of your kidneys sounds violating, you’re closer to understanding why forcing someone to have a baby is such a barbaric thing to do. Even if the risk is small - kidney donations have a death rate of about 0.03% while childbirth is at 0.02% in the US - it’s still wrong to force something so invasive and risky onto someone against their will. Additionally, there are many complications that can arise from pregnancy short of death, just like there can be consequences to living your life with only one kidney down the line.

To summarize:

It is definitively not in anyone’s best interests to force unwilling and unprepared parents to have an unwanted child. It’s also not a good idea to get too deep into the technicalities of when an embryo is a fetus or when you’re allowed or not allowed to abort it. We need to focus on the women who are actually getting abortions. Having a baby is a huge life adjustment. Keep it, and you’re taking on an 18-year responsibility. You are responsible for another person’s wellbeing, and your life will never be the same. 

In three months (about 12 weeks), a potential mother can: find out that they’re pregnant (missing periods is extremely common. A lot of women only find out they’re pregnant at two months, or 8 weeks), think about their financial, professional, social, romantic, or whatever situation and figure out what would be the best course of action, and then actually get the abortion if she chooses to. 12 weeks is enough, 12 weeks is reasonable, 12 weeks is humane. Nobody wants third-trimester abortions unless there are serious, life threatening complications.

The pro-life argument is reduced down to: well, abortion is bad! That's a little innocent baby. It didn't hurt anyone. Well, we agree: abortion is bad. It’s not a good thing, it’s not something people want to have to do. Nobody looks forward to giving or receiving an abortion, it’s physically painful and often heart-breaking. But is it as bad as forcing a woman to go through hours of excruciating, potentially life-threatening labor for a child she doesn't even want to have? Is it as bad as enforcing serious health, financial, emotional, social, and professional risks on a woman who knows she is in no way ready to give a baby the life it deserves? Is it worse than having to drop out of school with no way to feed your child? Worse than having to give your baby away to an adoption center, where they’re likely to join the hundreds of thousands of unadopted children? There are evils, and then there are greater evils. Abortion may not be ideal, but for some people, it's the best option out there. When broken down, the pro-life argument is nothing but sad, provocative videos & descriptions of surgical abortions intended to pull at your heartstrings. But they’re sometimes the best option for the mother and her unborn baby. Nobody is pro-abortion — we’re pro-choice.

[pythosart]

A big ol 2019 end of the year update

I felt somewhat compelled to write my end of the year/decade thoughts, but a warning before you read: This one’s going to be heavy, intensely personal, and long. If you don’t feel up to reading that, it may be best to skip it. I promise I’ll go back to shutting up and posting art afterwards. I’m profoundly incapable of being concise, ever, so apologies for the length of this.

2019 was a nightmare.

Some background: In mid 2016, my mother was diagnosed with a rare form of liver cancer. She was given a few months to live. She was given weeks or months to live multiple times, for almost three years. In that time my mom was in and out of the hospital, but spent all her good days living life to the fullest, starting and finishing dream projects, and keeping all of us going despite her own situation. Even when she was bedridden, hooked up to tubes and bags and god knows what, she found time to prop up her loved ones and pursue her hobbies. She even managed to develop new hobbies and interests while otherwise imprisoned by her physical state, something I struggle to do at the best of times even in my young and relatively healthy form. If there’s anything I can make of this experience, it’s that I hope to grow into even half the woman my mother was.

I ended 2018 with my final quarter at SCAD. I spent the entire quarter terrified my mom was going to die while I was away from home. It was horrific, I barely scraped by my last few classes (bless my professors’ endless patience), and immediately left Savannah for home as soon as the quarter was up. I never had room to celebrate finishing college. Any other year it would be a huge milestone, but I barely even care.

This past May, my mother passed away, after three years of petrifying suspense. It happened in the dead middle of the night, while my best friend was visiting for a con, and it still feels like a bad dream. It’s also one of the only vivid memories I even have of this year. 

I wish I had more to say on that, but I genuinely think the drawn out suffering and fracturing of my whole world left me unable to fully unpack everything that’s happened. It’s hard to even think about for long, and at times I even half-forget she’s gone. I think of things I want to show her, or tell her, or cook with her. Just the other day I kept thinking I’d tell her how much I liked endive after she showed me how to make it. I found a historical Italian cooking channel that, every time I see it, I just think of how much she’d love it. I knew she’d love Hot Fuzz but never got to show her. Little, stupid things that shouldn’t matter, but they do. They just do.

My mother and I were close, much closer than I am with my dad. Especially towards the end of her life, we had gotten closer, and I felt like I was only just really getting to know her as an equal. I still want to share my life with her, but that chance is gone.

This holiday season has been especially rough in her absence, because not only was my mom the motivational and creative force behind a lot of holiday activities here, it’s the first everything without her. We had Thanksgiving with friends and a catered dinner, instead of spending several days cooking and polishing family silver and setting the table. I won’t be making handmade tortellini with her for Christmas like we did every year. It’s the little things like that.

We’re a tiny family, with over half of us in Italy and lacking much communication due to the language barrier. Family holidays were always small, but there’s just a huge hole how, much greater than the cold numeric value of “one fewer participant.” My mom was always a driving force and a keystone in our support networks, not to mention the main line of contact with the Italian-speaking side of the family, so now the family feels so much more scattered and isolated than ever.

My girlfriend was close to my mother too, and as she’s been living with me for years now and is practically part of the family, I think she took it just as hard as anyone. Cel saw everything I did, and dealt with many of the same uncertainties and traumatic experiences I did.

A month after I lost my mother, I lost my cat too. Galileo was twelve years old, a spry old man who yelled instead of meowed, and just a wonderful cat. I got him when I was in 7th grade, after begging my parents for years to get me a cat. It was my mom who eventually overrode my dad’s hesitations, and from then on Leo was part of the family. He went through a very sudden decline over the course of a week or two, and we learned it was cancer. Feline lymphoma, I think. I had to make the call to put him to sleep, and it ripped what was left of my heart out.

Not that it needs stating, but fuck cancer.

A few too-short months later, I cut ties with a “friend,” which despite how fucking much it hurt, was really for the best. At a certain point one simply can no longer afford to waste energy on a certain kind of person. Unfortunately I’m a persistently optimistic idiot, and it took me too long to cut my losses before deep damage was done. Done to me, my close friends, and even barely involved acquaintances this “friend” dumped on relentlessly and tried to harass into spying on me. Really, if any part of this is unforgivable, it’s that.

All this was, however, a valuable reminder that it’s no good to have any tolerance for habitually dishonest people, even if they think they’re doing it to look “nice.” Chronic liars will gaslight you whether they know it or not, and trying to navigate that in an already damaged mental state is inadvisable. It was an important lesson in picking one’s battles, albeit one learned too late. I’m still holding out hope I can find it in my heart to forgive this person, if only for my own selfish sake so I can move on. I have a lot of experience living on spite, and I don’t want to make a further habit of it.

Naturally all of the above did little to curb my already inflamed pessimism about the state of my country and the world at large, but I need not expand on that, I imagine.

I suppose it would be unfair of me to leave it all at that and only mention the negative, though admittedly positivity is hard to muster these days. A few bright spots of note:

Graduated from SCAD with my BFA in Sequential Art (technically last year, but I did the ceremonial bit this year)

Tabled at Animazement with Woods. We barely broke even, but it was a great time and I plan on doing it again in the new year.

Spent literally an entire month hanging out with my two best friends, which was amazing and exactly the kind of healing experience I needed around that time of year.

Properly did Halloween for the first time in years. I made a costume I’m proud of and we went out on the town… for like an hour, because it promptly started pouring. But fun nevertheless

Started therapy. As of writing this, I’ve only had an introductory session, but it’s a start. Should have started six months ago, but didn’t for reasons to be addressed...in therapy

Started volunteering at the local natural history museum, where I spent like half my childhood. I’ll be doing data entry in collections, but that’s still cool as hell

Got a start on figuring out what I want to do with my life. It’ll involve going back to school for science within the next five-ish years, but it’s nice to have a goal. More of a goal than I’ve ever had, in fact.

Played some extremely good video games (shout out to The Blackout Club and Control)

Made a shitload of unnecessary yet endlessly fun and good AUs with my friends and my one (1) OC

Got an iPad Pro and started learning Procreate, which has gotten me drawing more

Learned a bit of needle felting

2019 was a year of getting much closer to my two best friends, and I genuinely owe them my life at this point. I don’t know where I’d be without them. Nowhere good, certainly.

Woods and Dross kept me talking to people, kept me creating, told me when I was being unreasonable or needed to cool it, heard me out when I needed it but always kept me honest. They helped me keep some creative juices flowing when otherwise I’d have been at a frustrated loss and might have given up for good. If it seems like I’ve kept up my usual art output at all, and if you’ve enjoyed the Lou content (or not, whoops... apologies to everyone who followed me for monster content) you have both of them to thank.

Even moreso, I owe my girlfriend a great deal for being there for me through all of this while she herself was suffering similarly. She and I have had our ups and downs, and been through a lot in the five-ish years we’ve been together. We aren’t the most outspoken couple, but I think our mutual understanding and pain mitigated a lot of the damage this year has done. I don’t think I could have handled it alone.

Furthermore, I really need to thank a lot of other friends and acquaintances I’m not quite as close with, but still talk to. These people especially were willing to call me on my bullshit when necessary, or just talk to me at all, about anything. Even if these acquaintances didn’t know it at the time, there’s a good chance they were dragging me out of one of my frequent existential despair spirals.

I also, weirdly, owe a lot to helping my hen Julia recover from her dog attack. That was around the time that my mom’s health was in its final decline, when I felt the most helpless and despairing. I think having even some tiny something I could do to help was like, the only feeling of control I had in life for a bit there. Julia’s fine, by the way. Still queen of the yard, top chicken boss bitch, etc. Julia was always a kind of kindred spirit with my mom, in a way. Little but not to be underestimated, gray, big personality and commanding presence… Not to mention, she was one of the first in our flock and was always my mom’s favorite. 

It would be too much to say I have high hopes or plans of any kind for the upcoming year, but I do have a list of things I want to try and do. Some of which will involve art, and the posting thereof.

Big if on this one, but I’ve also recently started therapy (only took me half a year to work up to making a phone call after the first failed attempt took all the wind out of my sails) and I have…maybe not high hopes, but hopes, for that doing something to help. I should have started therapy two years ago, but the second best time is now, etc etc.

I have a lot of New Year’s resolutions, beyond the usual “get in shape, drink less coffee, blah blah” that I’ll try and write up a little list of separately. Most of them are art-related, so you all will be there to watch me swing and miss I PROMISED I’D TRY TO BE LESS NEGATIVE. New Year’s resolution #1: Maybe don’t make so many self-deprecating jokes.

Anyway, I don’t know how to end any wall of text, be it an OC worldbuilding screed or something serious like this, so... I guess, love yourself, cherish your friends, know when to put your own needs first and when to put your friends’ needs firster. One of the things my mom taught me in this past year or so is that relationships are what you make of them, and that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. Be generous, be genuine, don’t be a doormat and don’t lie to people you care about, even if it seems kinder in the moment. Savor the time you have with those close to you, and spend time doing things you love. Cliché, maybe, but cliché can still be true. Happy new year, everyone. I sincerely hope it will treat us all better. 2020 may just be an imaginary change of numbers, but I like to think it really does wipe the slate in a way, and make room for all of us to do what we can to be better. Speaking of which, vote. For the love of all that is good, vote.

--

A little bullet list of New Year’s resolutions, because it’s nicer to look at

Try to get back in shape (of course) - That 30 days of strength thing was good while it lasted, despite my joints hating me

Learn some new recipes, preferably with fewer carbs, you Italian ass

Keep a physical calendar and stick with it for at least a few months

Learn at least one new skill by the middle of the year, whether it’s art-related or something else

Start writing more. Don’t have to share it, but try. Write down ideas somewhere other than Discord where they’re easy to lose

Either reopen Patreon or figure out how ko-fi works. Even if it’s for no money, just to have structure and goals.

Do Animazement again and try out some new product types

Go to SCAD career fair with a decent portfolio

Get better about spending, by whatever method works

Attend some art classes at the local collectives, doesn’t matter what

Play more video games. I swear I only played like three new things this year 

Read more classic literature and nonfiction, at least one book per month. I’ve been really enjoying Agatha Christie’s works and am about to start Guns, Germs, and Steel

Read more comics. Basically just consume more media

Do Halloween again, better this time

See friends in person more

Practice accepting whatever shitty thoughts show up and then letting them go, rather than dwelling on them

[haikyuupenpals]

FAQ

I have a question that wasn’t answered! If we haven’t answered your question here, you can contact the mods through twitter, tumblr, or directly by email at: hqpenpals@gmail.com 

(We’ll continue to update the FAQ with answers to participant questions!)

General Information

What is Sincerely, Haikyuu? 

Sincerely, Haikyuu aims to connect Haikyuu!! fans around the world through old-fashioned physical letter writing. Inspired by the Final Fantasy Pen Pal Palooza, it’s a fun way to make some new friends, be creative, and spread a bit of joy! (Or at least give each other something to look forward to). 

Sign-up through our Google Form and the mods will match you with another Haikyuu!! fan. Once sign-ups are sent out, you’ll have two weeks to write a letter to your pen pal (and, yes, it must be a letter. Packages are outside of the scope of this event, and may only be sent in addition to a physical letter. See specific FAQ for details). 

Then, after a few weeks (or longer, depending on the postal service in your country), you’ll receive a letter from your pen pal in the mail!

I’m a minor, can I still participate?

Yes, but minors must have their parent(s) or guardian(s) permission to share their address. Since minors are allowed to participate, no NSFW content will be allowed in the letters, and we ask you to be respectful to your pen pal. 

On the sign-up form, there will be a place for you to indicate whether you are willing to be matched with an adult, a minor, or either. You are welcome to request not to be matched with an adult / minor for any reason.

Please review our Minor Policy for more information.

What if the mail services in my country are experiencing major delays or other issues?

Postal services worldwide have been affected by the current situation. There are no deadlines for when letters need to arrive, so please don’t let delays stop you from signing up if that is your only concern! However, if mail is frequently being lost or destroyed in your area, or if you have health concerns about receiving mail from your local postal service, please consider carefully when deciding to sign up. 

I can’t send a real letter - is there an option to send an email instead?

Since this event is specifically focused on sending real, physical letters to your pen pal, we won’t be having an all-digital option. Logistically, it’s just too complicated for us two mods to run both a physical letter sending event and a virtual letter sending event at the same time. We apologize if this means that some of you won’t be able to participate. 

What if I need to drop out of the event?

Please let us know as soon as possible if you need to drop out! We get it—life can get in the way, and it's totally okay if you need to drop out for any reason. We will find a new pen pal for your assigned partner.

Pen Pal Sign-Ups

How do I sign-up?

You can sign-up through this Google Form! Sign-ups will be open through July 13th, 2020 (closing at 11:59PM Pacific Time). The form will take approximately 15 minutes to fill out. 

Is there an option to only send a letter within my own country?

Yes! The sign-up form will ask for your country of residence (i.e. where you’ll be sending your letter from), and whether you’re willing to send an international letter. If you answer “no,” moderators will match you up with a pen pal within your own country. If there are no participants from within your country, mods will contact you during the matching period. 

Do I have to provide my legal name?

No. You will be asked to provide a name for your letter address, but this does not need to be your legal name. Any moniker will work. 

In addition, the name you provide for your address does not need to be the same as the name you ask your pen pal to address you by, or the name you give the mods for internal communication. You can provide different names for all three of these situations, if you’d like to.

What are you doing to protect my personal information?

Please refer to our Data Privacy and Protection policy for the full explanation on how your data is being used, protected, and distributed to your pen pal.

Pen Pal Matching

How will pen pals be matched?

After sign-ups close, pen pals will be matched up in a 1-to-1 scenario. You’ll send a letter to your pen pal, and your pen pal will send a letter to you. This was chosen to make any necessary partner switching a little easier and to minimize the amount of personal information being shared.

Moderators will try to match you with a pen pal that has similar interests to you based on what you wrote in the sign-up form, but we may not have an exact match (especially keeping in mind your mailing preferences). One of the goals of this exchange is to introduce participants to new people, so it’s likely that you won’t know your recipient. We encourage you to introduce yourself in your letter and ask questions! 

When can I talk to my pen pal?

If your penpal has shared their social media handles, you are welcome to reach out as soon as matches go out to ask for clarifications, optional gift preferences, or just to chat. If no social media handles have been provided, you will have to communicate the old-fashioned way in your letters! 

If you don’t have your penpal’s social media handles but need to ask an important question before letters are sent, please reach out to a mod, and we’ll help facilitate communication.

Will I be able to switch pen pals?

We will do our best to match all participants with awesome partners. However, we understand that sometimes, partner switches need to happen. After pen pals are matched, there will be a short period where, if necessary, you can request to be matched with a new penpal. Please only request to switch partners if absolutely necessary. 

Once all partnerships have been finalized, addresses will be sent, and you will no longer be able to switch pen pal partners. This is to minimize the amount of people who get access to confidential address information.

How will addresses be distributed?

After pen pal partners have been finalized, we will send addresses via email using GMail confidentiality mode. This will allow us mods to delete the email and the confidential information it contains after the event is complete.

If you are a GMail user, confidentiality mode emails will not look significantly different from normal emails. If you are not a GMail user, your email will include a link where you can view the email. Follow the prompts to verify your email and view your partner’s address.

Letter Creation

What do I put in my letter? 

You can write about ANYTHING, with the exception of NSFW content. There’s no minimum word count, the only requirement is that you send a letter to your pen pal! We encourage you to ask each other questions, share headcanons, write drabbles, scribble doodles in the margins, or plaster your letter in stickers. Let your pen pal know what your favorite arc or episode is, relive your favorite moments from Haikyuu!!, or send photos of your keychain collection or cosplays. As long as it is SFW and fits in your envelope, feel free to send whatever you’d like.

If you’re comfortable, we also encourage you to share your social media, Discord, or AO3 usernames, so that y’all can find each other online after the exchange is over!

Can I include gifts for my pen pal? Can I send a package? 

For this event, we’re requiring that you send a flat envelope to your pen pal. This envelope can still include little doodles, fic, stickers, and other small little gifts. If you’d like to send a package, in addition to your letter, you may choose to do so.

Do not feel obligated to send a gift to your pen pal. The only requirement for the event is to send a letter! This is not a secret santa event, but rather a pen pal letter exchange.

We have chosen to require a letter in a flat envelope to be sent for three main reasons: equity, ability to moderate, and current postal delay. First, we know that not everyone can afford to send a package -- requiring a letter makes this event more accessible to all people, without feeling obligated to send something extra. We also don’t have a structure in place to be able to moderate the packages people are sending. Finally, postal services around the world are seeing mail (and packages especially) being delayed. We don’t want your recipient waiting months and months for your gift to be received. 

That being said, if you’d like to send a package, feel free to send one in addition to your letter! You could even mention in your letter that your pen pal can look forward to an additional package arriving. These will not be moderated in any way by the Sincerely, Haikyuu!! team, and we advise you to coordinate with your pen pal, if necessary. 

If you are sending a package, make sure that you’re checking current postal guidelines, and be wary of sending any perishable goods with the current delay in shipping. Also check if the address provided by your pen pal is a P.O. box, as not all P.O. boxes can accept packages.

Letter Sending

Do letters need to be tracked?

We will have a Google form for participants to fill out to confirm that letters have been sent, but we will not require tracking for individual letters. 

If you choose to send your pen pal an additional package, you may think about adding tracking to that package. 

What happens at the end of the letter creation period?

All participants will be expected to confirm that they sent their letter (or communicate extenuating circumstances so that we can inform your recipient that their letter is delayed). This check-in will be a Google Form that will be distributed at the end of the letter creation period. Once you’ve received your letter, the event is complete!

Am I supposed to write a letter back?

Only if you want! It’s not required for the event, but if you want to mail a letter back to your pen pal, you can! 

The primary goal of Sincerely, Haikyuu!! was to create a one-time pen pal exchange between fans of Haikyuu!!, not create long-term pen pals, but if you enjoy exchanging letters, we encourage you to continue!

I never received my letter! 

 Mail services all over the world are experiencing delays right now. Your letter may just be stuck somewhere in between you and your pen pal’s home. If you’re still worried about the state of your letter, please contact the mods!

Mod Contact

Who is running this event?

The mods for this event are Ry (rythyme) and Zoe (SoVeryAverageMe). You might know us from SportsFest 2018, an event we co-created and moderated.

During SportsFest 2018, we mailed out postcards with a personal note from the mod team to any participant that wanted one, as a souvenir from the event. (Even the postcard design itself was created by a Sportsfest participant!) Seeing everyone’s reactions to receiving them remains one of our favorite memories of the event, and we’re hoping that this pen pal exchange can inspire some of the same positive energy! 

I have a question that wasn’t answered!

If we haven’t answered your question here, you can contact the mods through twitter, tumblr, or directly by email at: hqpenpals@gmail.com