#i close my eyes and i watch episodes of my fake cartoons sometimes

[proxy-pages]

Random doodle dump, most of these are from December I think, forgive my handwriting

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 3) - A Moment

Summary: Jensen is away from home for a few days but isn’t having the easiest time being away from the kids for the first time since the accident. When he returns home, he has a gala to attend on Saturday night but a kiss on the cheek and slip of the tongue will snowball into the reader and Jensen sharing a moment...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,100ish

Warnings: language, death of a spouse, death of a parent, anxiety, self-worth problems, referenced past harassment

A/N: I love this part so much for so many reasons. Please enjoy!

________

“Hi Jensen,” you asked Monday night when your phone rang. “How was your flight earlier?”

“Same old same old. I just got out of work,” he said with a yawn. “Gonna grab a bite out with a friend. Kids eat dinner okay?”

“We had honey sriracha glazed salmon with brussel sprouts and roasted red potatoes.”

“Really?”

“They had kraft mac and cheese and I had Taco Bell.”

“See this is why I like you,” he chuckled.

“I’ll try the salmon again tomorrow. I was gonna make it but they didn’t have any at the store,” you said, opening the fridge and taking out a pint of ice cream. “Hey can I have what’s left of this mint ice cream?”

“Sure. Pick some more up for me sometime before friday please,” he said. “Also, Taco Bell? You do realize we live in freaking Austin right. There are literally hundreds of places you can go that have better mexican food.”

“Yeah but fake cheese tastes good,” you said. He laughed and your stomach rumbled. “I so should have gotten more than two tacos.”

“You in the kitchen?” he asked. You hummed and you heard him let out an oof in the background.

“Yeah. You alright?”

“This bed in my hotel room is comfy,” he said. “But I was starting to say, go in the drawer at the end of the counter by the table. There’s only five hundred gajillion take out menus in there. Order a treat for yourself. It’s on me.”

“Jensen. I can get my own dinner.”

“True but you’re on call 24/7 until I get back.”

“Well in that case I bet you got a menu for a fancy steakhouse in here somewhere,” you teased as you picked up one for a tex mex looking restaurant. “Does this place really have quesadillas this big?”

“You must be looking at the menu on top. I almost ordered from there last week actually. The food’s great. They do delivery too. Just buzz the guy into the gate when they get there.”

“Any recommendations?” you asked, taking out the menu and flipping it over.

“Quesadillas are good. Loaded nachos are amazing. I’ve literally never had a bad thing from there,” he said. “To be honest I’d rather be getting that than where I’m going tonight.”

“Why’s that?” you asked, reading through your options, surprised to find such good prices.

“I have to wear a suit,” he said with a sigh. “After being poked and prodded all day I literally would rather just eat crap and watch food network.”

“How long have you known this friend of yours?” you asked.

“Twenty years, why?”

“Then you guys knew each other when you were young. It’s not too late out there. Call him, see if he’d rather get some crap food, a six pack and just catch up on his couch or in your room. I’m pretty sure he’s more looking forward to seeing an old friend again than the food,” you said.

“You make very good points. I should pay you more,” he said.

“You pay me plenty and barely let me spend a dime of my money on myself,” you said. “I don’t need more.”

“You got that fancy computer though.”

“You literally have the exact same mac in your office.”

“You moved in like three boxes and two computers,” he said.

“An ipad is not a computer,” you said.

“Debatable.”

“Well I like to draw sometimes and it’s easier on an ipad when you’re laying in bed,” you said. 

“Are you any good?” he asked.

“No.”

“I bet they’re really good,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I see you draw with the kids sometimes and those are good.”

“It’s a hobby is all,” you said, leaning back against the counter, your stomach grumbling again. “Anything else you want me to grab at the store? I’m going to hit it tomorrow while everyone’s at school.”

“Nah. Get the usual stuff,” he said. “The kiddos in bed?”

“Yeah, got the last one down about fifteen minutes ago,” you said. He hummed and you heard the sigh in it. “I got a video of them playing earlier I’ll send you.”

“Thanks. It’s my first night away from them in a long time. Normally I’m able to come back same day. I was kinda hoping they’d still be awake to say goodnight.”

“They’re safe and sound dad. We’ll call again after school tomorrow to talk like today,” you said.

“Yeah,” he breathed out. He was quiet and you pulled the phone away, taking a deep breath. 

“You okay?” 

“I haven’t been alone like this in a really long time.”

“I know. You check out your backpack yet?”

“No. Why?”

“You didn’t bring a jacket with you so I put that yellow hoodie that’s always on the hook in there in case you got cold.”

“That was Dee’s hoodie.”

“I was pretty sure it was,” you said. You heard him shuffle around briefly before he hummed, much happier that time. “I thought you might like to have a piece of...something-”

“I really don’t pay you enough,” he said quietly. “Thanks for putting this in there. I need something from home more than I realized.”

“Well put it on, call up your buddy and have some fun tonight, Ackles. Nanny’s orders.” He laughed and you felt that twinge in your stomach again, your eyes quickly closing.

“I will. Hey you mind if I call again tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans and sitting in a hotel room by myself isn’t very fun.” You smiled and felt heat in your cheeks, quickly thinking it away. He wanted company for a few minutes was all and you were friends. It was completely normal to talk with friends on the phone everyday.

“Of course. As long as you get a dinner in at some point that’s more than fine with me,” you said. “We can talk about The Bachelor!”

“Oh God no,” he groaned, chuckling after a few seconds. “I’ll settle for Grey’s Anatomy.”

“This Is Us?” you asked.

“Supernatural?”

“I haven’t watched that yet. I’m working up to it,” you said. 

“Work faster woman. I only know legit everything about that one,” he chuckled. “But probably not a good idea to watch that one until I get back and you're not alone. First episode is kinda scary.”

“Oh well thanks for that,” you said, watching the clock tick by, knowing it had to be almost seven out there. “I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight Jensen.”

“I will Y/N. Promise.”

Friday Night

“Arrow,” you said after she’d flung her pasta bowl all over herself, covering her hair and face. She sniffled and you forced a smile. “Okay. How about a bath after dinner?”

Fifteen minutes later JJ and Zeppelin were in the movie room watching a cartoon while you had Arrow in the kids bathroom, scooping up some water over her head in the tub.

“Well hello ladies,” you heard behind you. You jumped and spun around, glaring for a moment before you recognized Jensen.

“Just me,” he said, backpack still on his shoulders. 

“Daddy I got ziti all over my head,” she said.

“You did?” he asked, dropping his bag and taking off his jacket, kneeling down next to you. You got the last bit of sauce off and squirted some shampoo in her hair, Jensen watching you with a smile. “How was your day?”

She told him all about breakfast and daycare, playing with a few toy boats with him while you rinsed out the soap. You did a bit of conditioner before getting it out as well and putting the spray nozzle back.

“I got the rest if you wanna get the dryer ready?” he asked you, reaching for the soap. You swapped spots with him, Jensen washing her up while she kept talking about her day. By the time he was all done you had the dryer out and plugged in, Jensen picking her up and wrapping her up in a big bundle of towels before he set her on the counter. You went to work drying her hair, Jensen draining the tub and finding some pajamas for her.

“Do you want your hair up or down, sweetie?” you asked. She tried gathering it up and you grabbed her soft scrunchie perfectly fine for sleeping in from the counter. You put her hair up in a soft little bun, Jensen making an adorable sound when he returned.

“Aw, you look so cute, baby. I’ll be right there alright?” he said. She hopped off the counter and got dressed, rushing off downstairs when she was all done. “Survive the day?”

“Somehow we always do,” you said, gathering up the towels. “Kids are in the movie room.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna shower but we’re all good for the night,” he said. “Thanks for watching them this week.”

“You gotta go do your job,” you said. “You working on a movie or something? You never said.”

“Uh gonna be in a show called The Boys,” he said. “I’m gonna be one of the superheroes so I gotta go out and get my suit made all special for me every so often.”

“You’re gonna be a supe! That’s so fucking cool!” you said. He grinned and you blushed, shaking your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so not appropriate.”

“I don’t see any little ears around,” he chuckled. “You like the show then?”

“Yeah. It’s great. Like no other show consistently makes me go what the fuck did I just see. That’s so cool you get to be a supe though. Are you a one off or like a main character?”

“I’ll be very present in the next season. Gonna deal with the seven, all that,” he said. “I’m gonna be Solider Boy.”

“I can see that. You have that all American boy thing about you.”

“It’s my adorable face,” he teased. 

“Well remember to not stay up too late. You have the gala tomorrow night remember?”

“Yes mom,” he said as you walked out. “Get the kids some takeout for dinner tomorrow and yourself.”

“Sounds good boss,” you said. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

The Next Night

You froze from where you were mixing up some brownie batter with JJ at the kitchen counter as Jensen popped downstairs. He was in a gorgeous black suit, a maroon pocket square and no tie going on, his hair scruffier looking than normal.

He started to laugh and you realized you were staring, your cheeks feeling hot as you went back to stirring.

“Mmm, you guys save me a brownie or two for when I get home?” he asked, leaning over and dipping his finger in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.

“We’ll spare one for dad,” you said, Jensen going back for seconds. “Ah, ah. No.”

He dipped his finger in and got another fingerful, kissing the top of JJ’s head and the twins at the counter.

“Be good for Y/N guys!” he called as he rushed out.

You whistled and he jogged back, catching you holding up his phone from the counter.

“Thank you,” he said, taking it and pecking a kiss on your cheek. You looked up at him and he froze. “I am so sorry. I…”

“It’s okay. Go have fun and be all charitable,” you said. He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out, JJ scratching her head.

“Dad’s kinda weird sometimes,” she said.

“Yeah, he is. But so is everybody,” you said. “Let’s get this in the oven so you guys can pick out colors for your frosting, hm?”

“I really shouldn’t. But I really should,” you said to yourself, plopping your second brownie of the night in a bowl and sticking a scoop of ice cream on top. You carried it over to the couch and lay back, watching TV on the big screen as you heard the door open. Jensen came into view a minute later, taking his jacket off and groaning as he washed up at the sink. He went to the tray of brownies on the counter and picked one up with a big sigh. “Fun night?”

He jumped and whacked his head against the cabinet above, hissing before he spun around.

“You okay?” you asked. He nodded and left the brownie behind, pushing his sleeves up before taking a seat on the other end of the lounger.

“Y/N I’m really sorry about the kiss on the cheek. That was so inappropriate. You’ve kinda implied that there was some stuff that’s happened to you at other jobs you found over the line and I’m really truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t...I forgot you’re my employee for a moment. I really am sorry.”

“Jensen if I had a problem with it or you or your behavior I would quit on the spot. I don’t let myself get pushed around anymore. You were happy and busy and you pecked a kiss on my cheek, not reach a hand down my pants. It’s really okay. You’re way too hard on yourself.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Positive. It’s barely ten which means you left as soon as you could. You’re supposed to be out having fun,” you said.

“I was kinda freaking out that you hated me,” he said.

“Dude you gotta relax,” you said. “Have a brownie and some ice cream.”

He got up and after a minute took a seat at the other end with a bowl of his own, smiling as he got a taste.

“This is fucking awesome,” he said.

“I know,” you said, Jensen smirking. “Do you feel better now silly boy? I promise that if you ever do anything I find inappropriate I will promptly kick you in the balls.”

“I can agree to that,” he said. He ate for a moment, watching the TV and laying back. “Do you ever like, want to go do things with your friends on a Saturday night? If you do that’s totally cool. These aren’t normal hours anyways.”

“Being a nanny eats up a lot of your social life,” you said. “Kinda got kicked out of my friend group after I broke up with my ex anyways.”

“Well they sound like they suck,” he said.

“Yes, they do,” you said. “I don’t mind so much. I meet plenty of new people through work. Only person you can depend on is yourself and I don’t tend to let myself down.”

“That’s a very lonely way to go through life,” he said.

“It’s not easy to make friends in your thirties,” you said. “Maybe for someone like you who travels and meets new people a lot and stuff but you have like, real friendships. You know?”

“Well we have a real friendship, don’t we? You’re friends with Jared and Rob and Ruthie and Rich,” he said. “I don’t trust just anybody with my kids. That’s real.”

“Yeah,” you said, taking a bite. “So when’s your friend free?”

“Hm?”

“Blind date guy. Maybe he could be a friend if things work out,” you said.

“Oh yeah. He uh, he actually got a gig up in Canada so you might need to wait like a month or so. But he’s excited to meet you,” said Jensen.

“Can I have his number?” you asked. “Or do you think that’d be weird?”

“No, not weird. I think he just kinda wants to do it old school if that’s okay. Meet you first and go from there.”

“This friend of yours better be like super hot,” you said.

“If it’s a problem-“

“I can respect him wanting to do things like that. But I’m gonna want a firm date soon,” you said.

“I’ll make sure to get you one,” he said. “I’ll get it down tomorrow, promise.”

“He better not mind me eating like this either. I ain’t a salad on the first date kinda girl. He’s gonna need to keep up with my eating while were at it,” you said. He snorted in his seat beside you and ran his hand over his face.

“I will keep that in mind. I have occasionally had dessert first truth be told,” he said.

“This is why I like you Ackles. You get my sweet tooth,” you laughed.

“It’s a good thing your dinners are healthy cause I swear I haven’t consumed this many baked goods in months,” he said. “The kids love it and my stomach loves it though.”

“I’m gonna need to start working out though if I keep this up. Oh hey is it okay if I do laps in the pool in the mornings? I’ll be super quiet and stuff.”

“You don’t gotta ask,” he smiled. “Like I said when you started, you got free reign to use the pool, the gym, whatever, aside from my room. You a swimmer?”

“Not really but I hate running and supposedly it’s a good workout or something,” you shrugged, eating another bite of brownie.

“Anything in the gym you’re free to use. I know you must get a little bored sometimes when I’m gone and the kids are,” he said.

“Not bored per say. Ordinarily I would do more chores but you have like a cleaner and a landscaper and you just...give me more time in the day than I’m used to is all. It’s actually great though. It gives me plenty of time to come up with ideas for the kids and stuff.”

“Well as long as you’re taking breaks and your lunch do as you please,” he said, his spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl.

“Now that’s just sad.”

“I really should get another one of these,” he said, sucking the spoon.

“It’s really the only choice you have,” you said. He laughed as he hopped up, skirting back into the kitchen and fixing up another brownie and ice cream combo.

“Hey you want more, Dee?” he asked. You popped your head up and he spun around. “I’m-“

“Don't apologize, Jensen,” you said. He tapped his fingers against the counter and took a deep breath, putting his back to you.

“That’s the second time tonight I’ve done that,” he said. 

“Jensen. There’s nothing wrong with missing your wife.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“You don’t...talk about her much.”

“It was...she wasn’t…” he trailed off. He sat down on a barstool and you got up, walking over and hopping up on the counter beside him. You set your feet in the stool next to his and paused before you put a hand on top of his head and ran your fingers through the short strands. “This shouldn’t have happened to her.”

“Death is the price for living. Pain’s the price for caring. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” you said. You started to move your hand away when he turned his head. 

“Don’t…” he said, easing when you played with it gently again. “That’s always calmed me down since I was a little kid.”

“Someone should take care of you every once in a while you know. Your parents, siblings, friends. Everyone needs a break.”

“I had a lot of help at the beginning. I don’t need a whole day. Just a moment here and there,” he said quietly.

“It’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and you played with his hair a few moments, watching his shoulders ease. This time when you pulled away he smiled up at you. “Better?”

“Yeah. Thank you. That’s not in your job description to do that sort of thing.”

“Well I think your wife would want somebody to watch your back, even for only a minute or two,” you said.

“You don’t have any brain aneurysms I should know about, do you?” he chuckled. 

“No. That what happened?” you asked, a single nod coming from him.

“She was sleeping. Not a bad way to go I was told, you’d never even know,” he said. “Not a fun thing to wake up to in the morning though.”

“My dad had a mass at the back of his head. It was that same kind of thing where one second it’s fine and the next everything’s different deal. It was inoperable. Then he goes and dies from a car accident of all things before it got bad. My mom had a hard time with that.”

“You said she had a boyfriend later on right?” he asked.

“Yeah. I know you’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. You ruffled his hair and he smiled, a soft look on his face. “Pro tip too from someone who’s been there, kids with a single parent turn out just fine.”

“Do they ever wish they had another parent?” he asked.

“They wish the parent they still have around is happy again someday. They won’t understand until they’re older that it’s a different kind of love between parents. But they’ll know it’s a little different and they’ll hope dad feels better too. Your kids are tough. They’ll be okay too.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. You hopped off the counter and washed up your dish, sticking it in the dishwasher before you went to leave for your room. “So I gotta ask. Who takes care of you?”

“Me?” you asked, pointing to yourself. He shrugged and smiled, your gaze going past him. “I’m all good. I don’t need somebody to take care of me.”

“Liar,” he said softly. “You know my friend tells me everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes.”

“That’s the difference between us Jensen. You’re not like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed, his face scrunching up suddenly.

“It means you’re not on your own and even if you feel like it, it’s only been a little while. You’ll be okay. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“You haven’t lived my life and I haven’t lived yours. Don’t try to tell me that I’m not capable of-”

“It’s not about what you’re capable of. You said pain is part of life, it’s the price for living. You’ve had more than your fair share-”

“Lots of people have it a lot worse.”

“Don’t compare your pain to someone else's. They haven’t lived your life,” he said. You rolled your eyes and started to walk away, Jensen out of his seat and catching up with you in the hall. “You can be taken care of too you know.”

“By who? My non-existent circle of friends? My crappy ex? My mom’s ex boyfriend who’s got his own wife and kids? I am perfectly fine managing all of this by myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“You’re so frustratingly annoying,” he said, running his hand over his face. “Me. I’m talking about me. You just...you took care of me tonight. The least I can do is show you the same compassion.”

“No,” you said.

“No? Why not?”

“Because taking care of me turns into you walking into my shower without my permission and you being a dick and this going away and I don’t want you to be those things so no. We’re getting too friendly. Please leave me alone tomorrow.”

You left him in the hall and went down to your area of the house, shutting the door after you. There was quickly a knock and you growled, ripping it open.

“What?” you snapped at him.

“I am not going to hurt you or be a dick to you or whatever else you think. You need to realize in the real world, not everyone is an asshole.”

“You’re the one not living in the real world then, Jensen. Everybody’s an asshole.”

“Fine. I’m an asshole. But I’m not leaving until you say I can take care of you tomorrow. Two minutes is all I’m asking for.”

“This is my part of the house.”

“And technically I am outside your door,” he said. “Why are you so resistant to somebody doing something nice for you?”

“Because I don’t wanna get used to it,” you said. He stared and you shook your head. “You’re attractive and an actor and kind and funny and it’s not a matter of if you date again but when and when that day comes, we ain’t gonna be sitting on the couch eating ice cream anymore. Please do not invite me to anymore outings as a friend. I’ll attend if required as a nanny but this between us is done.”

“For the record, the only one around here that thinks of you as just the hired help is you. My children are completely like their old selves. I feel more like my old self. You seem happier than when I met you but for some reason, that’s a big problem to you. I do not understand that.”

“Leave or I resign and move out first thing,” you said. He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “This is my formal resignation then. The company will-”

He moved quickly and you weren’t sure what he was doing at first but soon you realized he was hugging you, your hands resting against his chest. You swallowed and he didn’t move, your forehead resting against him.

“What are you doing?” you breathed out.

“When’s the last time you got a fucking hug?” he asked.

“The kids-”

“Not the kids.”

“I don’t remember,” you said quietly. 

“Then you are overdue,” he said. You let yourself reach your arms around him and return the hug, breathing deeply, a small bubble in you rising up. You tried to push it down but it came back harder and you were fighting back tears before you knew it. 

He could feel when you lost that battle, hand rubbing up and down your back. There was a soft shushing in the air and after a few minutes you felt better. You lifted your head but didn’t look at him, Jensen squeezing you in his hug again before it eased.

“You know you’re not allowed to quit on me...like ever,” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh, Jensen smiling at you when you forced your head up. He wiped off your cheeks and you let out one last sniffle. “You’re not alone. I promise you’re not. It’s not the quantity of people you have in your life but the quality and I’m sorry but we are friends and there’s nothing you can do about that so I’d just accept it now.”

“I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”

“You were scared, not a bitch,” he said. “I wish I could make you happier is all.”

“I wish I could bring back your wife for you,” you said.

“One of those is a lot more possible than the other,” he said. A small smile crossed his lips before he ducked his head down, shoulders heaving back before his head raised. “Y/N, can I confess something to you? I hope...I hope it doesn’t bother you but if it does, you don’t have to continue working for me. I’d still like to be friends regardless.”

“What’s wrong?” you asked, Jensen looking past you.

“My single friend I was going to set you up with? He doesn’t exist.”

“Oh.”

“Cause he’s kinda me.”

“Oh,” you said, staring at him, a lot of his previous behavior starting to click into place. “That’s…”

“I know,” he said, stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s weird and douchey and I’m sorry. I like you and I was trying to see if you would ever go for a 42 year old actor. I left out the widow and kids part but...I’m sorry.”

“When did you like me?” you asked quietly.

“The whole time?” he said, laughing nervously to himself. “It’s kinda snowballed since we met. I never in my life thought I’d like someone again. I didn’t want to like you. I hired you because you were the best candidate and I knew the kids would be in good hands but everyday it’s there, even more, and I know this is so inappropriate on so many levels and I’m really starting to ramble here but you make me think maybe your mom had a point and people are allowed to have...more than one…and sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me and look at me...” 

He swallowed as you stepped in front of him, taking a quick breath. 

“I will keep working for you and I’ll be your friend...and you can make me dinner tomorrow,” you said with a smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there?”

“You’re not...weirded out?” he asked.

“By your age, you’re my boss or the cheeky lying about a fake friend?” you said.

“All of the above.”

“Age doesn’t bother me. You have no idea how to be a boss, no offense, and the friend...I don’t blame you for wanting to test the waters first,” you said. “But I expect honesty from here on out.”

“Absolutely,” he said.

“Good,” you said.

“You do like me right?” he asked. “Like you don’t feel obligated or-”

“I like you Jensen. Why do you think I was trying to push you away before you got too close? I didn’t want to be hurt.”

“Give me a chance to not,” he said. “We can have dinner and see how it goes from there.”

“Normally the best course of action,” you said.

“But maybe with a few more hugs from now on,” he said. “For the both of us.”

“That’d be okay with me,” you said. He smiled and you returned it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“I guess you will,” he said. He turned to go when he spun back on his heels. “Or we could go back out there, eat way too much dessert and hang out?”

“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Give me a minute to wash up my face.”

“Take all the time you want. I’m gonna change into something more comfortable anyways.”

He left and you washed off your face in the bathroom, drying it off and taking a deep breath.

You did like him. There was something calming about him to you and you enjoyed his company, even if it was just the two of you having a quiet cup of coffee in the morning.

But he was an actor. And kinda famous. And a widow. And had three kids. 

“But your face is cute,” you said aloud, looking the mirror. “Gah, of course you have to be like...into me. Nutjob. He must be a nutjob. That’s it.”

“Y/N?” you heard him saying and you smacked yourself in the face. “Are you talking to yourself?”

“Uh, yeah,” you said, stepping out and seeing him in the hall sporting a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. “That was fast.”

“Well I didn’t go through an eight step skin routine too,” he chuckled.

“For your information, my routine is only three steps,” you said, walking past him and waggling your fingers.

“I didn’t realize I was living with such a savage,” he said. You laughed and went back to the kitchen, making up another dish of brownie for him while he went over to where he kept his liquor. “You a bourbon kind of girl?”

“Is there any other kind?” you said.

“Touche.” He poured out two glasses and slid one over while you passed his bowl to him. “So what’s this three step routine? Do I need to up my game or what?”

“I think I need your routine, not the other way around,” you said.

“Nah. I like looking at your face more than mine. Trust me.”

“Oh. How long you been holding back those kinds of comments?” you teased.

“Longer than you’d think,” he said, sharing the bowl with you. “Feel okay now?”

“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I cried,” you said. “Especially in front of someone.”

“A good cry session has never hurt in my experience. I’ll do it for work and stuff but normally I’m not much of one. Aside from the past six months I mean.”

“Are you ready to try this?” you asked.

“Yeah. I know I am,” he said. “I’m positive of it.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because you make me happy. You make me...want to do stuff again, believe in all the romantic...if I wasn’t ready, I’d feel guilty. But I don’t. I just know that maybe some people get more than one chance and maybe I’m one of them.”

“I know you are, whoever it ends up being,” you said.

“Are you ready to try this?”

You took a drink and bite of ice cream, pushing the bowl back.

“I miss my family,” you said. “I miss being happy. I’d like to...have someone that could take care of me for a moment every once in a while. I might mess that up sometimes but I’m willing to try.”

“Me too,” he said. “I’d expect some screw ups on this end too. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time.”

“I’m sure it hasn’t changed all that much,” you said.

“Well I’ve never dated with kids and as a widow,” he said.

“I’m just in this for them to be honest,” you laughed. 

“I see how it is,” he said with a smirk. 

“I don’t think it’ll be as hard as you think,” you said.

“I hope not,” he said. 

“Do they know? You want to date?”

“JJ does,” he said. “She’s little but she understands that it doesn’t mean I’ll never love her mother any less. She’s been strangely okay through this whole thing aside from the first few weeks. She helps her brother and sister out more now.”

“As someone who was that kid, minus the siblings, I know they’ll be okay. She’s a great kid. I’ve met plenty of spoiled brats. Yours are not.”

“Well that might just be the second best thing I’ve heard tonight,” he said.

“Whatever was the first?” you teased, eating a spoon of ice cream.

“Oh I think you know,” he said, stealing the spoon back. You smiled and heard some feet run around upstairs before the stairs creeped and a little head ducked down into view. “Arrow. It’s bedtime sweetie.”

“I had a accident,” she said. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, honey,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

“Want help?” you asked.

“Sure,” he said. He scooped up Arrow on the way up the stairs, setting her down in the kids bathroom. He got some clean pajamas and you found a pair of pull ups, Arrow pouting at you. 

“I don’t need ‘em,” she said.

“Your brother wears them. I wore them and your mommy and daddy wore them. Everybody wears pull ups when they’re your age,” you said.

“Just tonight,” she said, stepping into them. Jensen walked past with the mattress liner and she was dressed by the time you heard the washer going off in the distance. You walked her back to bed, Jensen slipping in past you and tucking her in. “Night daddy.”

“Night sweetie,” he said, kissing her temple. 

“Night Y/N,” she said.

“Night night kiddo,” you said, giving her a tiny wave before you left, Jensen flipping off her light and pulling the door shut. 

“Come here a second,” he said, nodding and you saw him head towards his room. The double doors were open and you stepped inside, Jensen going past the bed and over to a set of french doors. He pushed one open and waved for you to follow, showing you out to a rooftop balcony.

“Wow,” you said, a set of chairs, a table and a lounger out there along with a whole lot soft string lights. “I didn’t realize you had this up here.”

“Kinda a place to go unwind, relax,” he said. “I disappear out here sometimes. Been out here a lot at night lately.”

“Thinking about what?” you asked.

“You,” he said. “I talk to Dee about you sometimes as crazy as that sounds.”

“Doesn’t sound crazy at all,” you said.

“I just wanted to say...this area isn’t off limits anymore. Nothing is,” he said. 

“She asked you out, didn’t she,” you said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “You’re cute.”

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, heading back towards inside.

“Come on, Jensen. Before the ice cream melts on us.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

[its-kall-the-clown]

14 Fluff for Red Son realizing he's nursing a crush on MK

As some context this is post redemption for the demon bull family. So Mei, MK, and Red hang out a lot together now. Red Son is also an idiot. XD

Also this isn’t my most polished work so sorry if it feels rushed.

prompt list

Stop that!! (Don't stop)

Rating: PG-13 for implied sexual interactions

"I think I'm sick"

Red Son admits to the ceiling of Mei's room. They were hanging out like they normally did on days MK was training with monkey king. She was playing some sort of retro video game and he was watching till he got bored and lay on her bed thinking.

"You got a tummy ache?" Mei teased, pausing her game and he huffs rolling his eyes, and sits up.

"Don't be ridiculous" he huffs out and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Okayyyy so what're the symptoms." Mei crawls from her spot on the floor and joins him in bed, sitting crisscrossed with her hand in her lap, and leaning forward eagerly.

"It's hard to explain… sometimes when MK is gone my chest hurts " he places a hand over his heart that was beating normally at the moment.

"And sometimes, when he's around, my hands get sweaty and it feels like I'm gonna throw up and…." He watches a wide unlearning Cheshire grin grow across his friend's face. He continues on, albeit, a bit more hesitantly.

"And….sometimes I can't talk right, and sometimes when he IS around my chest hurts also?" Mei was grinning so wide she was more teeth than she was girl.

"Why are you smiling…."

"OMFG!!?? You have a crush on Mk?!!!" She squeaks excitedly and rolls around in her back as she descends into what Red can only describe as absolute madness.

"What are you talking about??!" He sputters, Mei giggles a bit longer before finally pulling together and greeting him with a wide grin.

"Dude. Your like SO gay for him. 'My HeARt hUrTs WhEn hE’s not arOuNdddd~ " she mocks him in a fake tone and he growls hitting her with a pillow..

"Stop that!" He growls.

"SToP ThAt~" she mocks back and they devolve into a pillow fight on her bed. He girns when he hits her smug face squarely with a dragon stuffie.

Soon they lay panting on her bed and the dragon girl rolls onto her stomach poking him in the face.

"So. Crushing in MK huh?"

He grows beat red again and pulls a pillow into his face and groans.

"You should tell him."

Red son sits up with a smile.

"I should!"

"Yes!!"

"So I can tell him to stop making me sick!"

"Say what now?"

He turns to Mei with a feral smile. This 'crush' or whatever she called it could be fixed. If MK was the one giving it to him. He just needed MK to stop doing...whatever he was doing to make him feel like this.

"Hold on I think you are conf-"

"Thanks Mei!" He gets up and is off to confront the noodle boy as he hears Mei shout at him from her room.

"You're a fucking idiot!!!"

-----------

He storms forward like a typhoon. Red son is a force of nature that can not be stopped, nothing could yield him in his goal or hinder him in his path. Wild horses pulling chariots could not stop him, celestials in heaven would not dare stand in his way, and even his parents (by far the scariest force of all) could not persuade him to rethink what he was doing.

He pushes past the doors to Pigsy's noodles, shoves past patrons and ignores the warning shouts from the pigman.

he had one goal on mind

"Nyyyooodle boy!!!!!!" He bellows grabbing the attention to his problem. Those perfect expression color eyes meet him and the disease in his chest grows. He's in his training clothes, clearly on his way up to his apartment over the shop so he can shower.

Why did the idea of MK showering make his heartbeat erratically? Soft shoulders and cascading water off them…

She shakes his head back and forth now back on track.

"Stop. That." He growls out grinding his teeth together as steam leaves his ears. MK tilts his head slightly. The disease grows more in his chest and he hates it.

"Stop that!!!!" He points directly at MK feeling his hair sputter and spark as his temperature rises. He thinks his face is growing red.

"I'm….not doing anything?" MK gives him a sheepish smile, the kind that quirks up on one side and absolutely obliterates Red Son on the spot.

Like a crunchy fall leaf under the heel of a boot he's crushed.

Whatever motivation he had before it evaporates quicker than a drop of water in the Sahara desert.

"Y-your haven't heard the last of me!!" He makes a quick retreat, stumbling over his own feet and taking out one of Pigsy's tables in the process.

He exits the shop faster than he entered. He needed to regroup and strategize.

-----------

"SoooOOOOOo How'd it go?" Mei asked her eyes not leaving the screen, she's playing a different video game now, and she didn't even spare him a glance when he came back as if she predicted he would fail.

"Horrible!!! All it did was make this sickness worse." He throws his arms up and paces back and forth biting his lip. Mei doesn't pause her game this time, only continuing to mash buttons as he grumbles under his breath.

She lets out A long-suffering sigh and finally pauses her game.

"Dude. I know you're behind on the lingo and stuff but a 'crush' isn't a sickness. It means you like MK. As in you want to kiss him and stuff." she explains with a shrug unpausing her game and the sound of power-ups and pixelated men punching each other continues.

Red Son halts in his tracks

He pictures kissing MK. pressing his lips to the boy's soft adorable lips. He can practically feel the warmth it would produce. He pictures MK smiling into the kiss as they awkwardly bump noses. He pictures holding MK’s hand, squeezing it gently as they walk hand and hand. He imagines the feeling of MK’s hair between his fingers as he runs his hands through it.

He sucks in a gasp, his heart beating out of time.

Of fuck.

“I’m so screwed…..”

He feels Mei patting his shoulder, she paused her game again when he was fantasizing

“Yeah, you are. But at least now you can DO something about it.” she nudges his side and he blushes a bright red and he can hear her chuckling at him

--------------

“Can we talk?”

MK blinks back at him looking back and forth for a moment as if he was confused by his precence. Which to be fair he DID just enter through MK’s window while he was showering and was now waiting for him on his bed.

“Uhhhhh sure?” they rub the last remaining moisture from his hair with a towel before tossing it to the floor to be added to piles of laundry they had yet to do. Red Son didn't even curl his lip up at the slob-like behavior because HOLY SHIT MK IS SHIRTLESS!!!

Of course, MK didn't even seem to care that he was only wearing grey sweatpants in his presence. Red Son guilty looked MK’s chest up and down while they searched for a sleep shirt. Working out with Monkey King has been paying off because MK was sporting some muscle. He also had a few scars from battles that only added to how attractive he was, and of course, there were the two faint top surgery scars under his pecks.

“Is this about your weird episode in the shop today?” they asked pulling him from his guilt ogling and MK pulled a shirt over his body. Damn what a shame.

“Mei says I have something called a ‘crush’ and I should ‘tell them how I feel’ in order to make the pain in my chest go away,” he explained using quotation marks with his fingers to punctuate himself. MK’s eyes widen slightly and then it's schooled quickly. They join Red Son on the bed.

“O-oh? Have you told them?” MK squirms in place and keeps his gaze cast down. He looks uncomfortable, no. he looks upset? Why would MK be upset? Was it because he broke into his room again without permission?

No not that. Although he will have to apologize later

“I’m working on that part,” he explains scooting closer to MK and he grabs one of their hands gently. This felt stupid, and he thinks his sickness will kill him with how quickly his heart is beating. He was terrified and all his symptoms were amplified by ten.

He looks into MK’s espresso-colored eyes looking for something. He loved those eyes. They showed so much in them and he SWORE they could change the whole lighting of a room.

He opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water with his false starts. Eventually, he clears his throat and releases his confession.

“Umm well...MK. I h-have a crush on you.”

he shuts his eyes and waits for the rejection, waits to hear MK laugh with their head back and shove him away.

None of that comes.

He peaks an eye open to find MK’s face a bright scarlet red. Was that a good sign? Or was MK so angry at him that he was just building up anger inside of him like a volcano ready to blow.

“ I w-will leave now.” he pulls away ready to retreat with at least his dignity still in tack. He's pulled back violently and soft lips are smashed to his. He lets out a surprised whimper and absolutely melts into the feeling. His brain is electrified and static all at once.

He kisses back hungrily grabbing MK by the waist and pulls him closer. When they are running out of air only does MK pull away with a little breathless gasp.

“Stay the night?” They requested, placing a soft kiss to the juncture of his neck and he can’t find a single cell in his body that would possibly say no. He nods numbly and MK kisses him again a smile on his lips that he could taste.

----------

“MK GET UP! YOU ARE LATE AGAIN!!”

Pigsy burst down the door jolting the demon awake from his peaceful slumber, his arms that were previously wrapped around MK pull away quickly in the process. He thinks he could stick to the ceiling with his claws like a cat in a cartoon if he jolted just a little higher.

The covers are yanked off them both before Red Son even has time to protest. Thank gods they both put underwear back on when they finished satisfying each other. Red Son is completely and thoroughly exposed to MK’s boss, bitemarks, and hickes across his chest snitching on him.

Red Son and Pigsy meet eyes and he feels a sweat break out across his neck. Pigsy sighs and pinches his snout. He sucks in a deep breath and lets it out through his nose.

“I don't know what happened here... And I don't WANT to know. Tell MK he’s got ten minutes to get downstairs.” Pigsy turns on his heel and leaves slamming the door behind him. Red Son looks over to his now-boyfriend who’s mouth hangs open with drool dripping down his face.

MK slept through all of it.

He can’t help but chuckle and kiss their forehead gently.

[rawiswhore]

Hunter Hearst Helmsley x Fem Reader- "You're Beautiful"

During the 1980's, most professional wrestlers, especially ones in the World Wrestling Federation, weren't exactly Shawn Michaels-esque pretty boys.

There were a few that were pretty handsome and even were very over with females, but in the 80's, most professional wrestlers were quite ugly to look at.

And you were not attracted to them.

By the 1990's, before the Attitude era, you didn't care about professional wrestling, in fact, hardly anyone cared about pro wrestling before the late 90's Attitude era.

The WWF nearly went out of business during the 90's, after a decade when they made major pro wrestling draws like Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Macho Man Randy Savage and even Rowdy Roddy Piper household names and popular enough to cross over into pop culture.

Even some of the men you dated during the 90's didn't watch wrestling before the rise of NWO and the Attitude era, because they felt like they were too old to be watching it, and it was so silly, childish, corny and lame.

Though, when they thought of wrestling, they thought of the World Wrestling Federation and hadn't heard of ECW.

However, on a Monday night near the end of 1995, which is considered to be one of the worst years of professional wrestling ever, you were sitting on your couch in front of the television in your living room, flipping through the channels trying to find something good to watch.

You usually love whatever is playing on MTV, BET, occasionally Vh1, A&E, TBS, Comedy Central, and other TV channels, those were your go-to TV channels growing up, and you even did watch a bit of those channels that night since those channels you usually watch.

You even sometimes watched Cartoon Network if they were playing a cartoon from your childhood, during the majority of the 90's, Cartoon Network was a channel that played cartoons from throughout the 20th century so adults could either see cartoons from their childhood again and kids of the 90's could watch cartoons their parents or even grandparents grew up watching.

You should've had a spare TV Guide with you to see what's playing on television, but you couldn't really turn to the TV Guide channel since they scroll down so slowly of what's playing on television.

However, when you were flipping through the channels, you stopped at the USA Network that aired the newest episode of "Monday Night Raw", the match displayed on television was a match featuring Hunter Hearst Helmsley, a rich, elegant, classy 1800's Jane Austin/Charles Dickens blueblood aristocratic gentleman (that's a mouthful!).

When you had seen Hunter, your eyes were glued to him and didn't switch the channel.

He didn't look anything like the wrestlers you knew from the 80's like Hulk Hogan, Macho Man and Andre the Giant.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley looked like he should be on the covers of those cheesy paperback romance novels with Fabio on the cover, not wrestling.

You weren't in love with Hunter for his wrestling talent, but for his looks.

You started to watch "Monday Night Raw" just for him, even if "Monday Night Raw" was so damn cheesy and corny during this time (though was slightly improving a bit), and you eventually fell in lust with other pro wrestlers on "Monday Night Raw", like Razor Ramon (one of the few wrestlers of the New Generation era that was over and a fan favorite), Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Marty Jannetty, and of course, the Heartbreak Kid and sex symbol of the WWF throughout the 1990's: Shawn Michaels.

'Tis a shame that Lex Luger was in WCW by the end of 1995, because he's pretty hot too.

You felt embarrassed and like you had lost some brain cells watching "Monday Night Raw" in late 1995, but there were a few hotties in that wrestling company.

You knew that rock stars, rappers, professional athletes and even serial killers have groupies, and of course, professional wrestlers have groupies as well, they're called "ringrats".

You had seriously thought of being a ringrat for Hunter Hearst Helmsley as well as other pro wrestlers in the WWF like Razor Ramon and Bret Hart, and after fighting the temptation, you did one night go to a "Monday Night Raw" show to sleep with Hunter as well as other pro wrestlers.

You had thought carefully what to wear to "Monday Night Raw".

You are going to be a ringrat, and groupies usually always wear slutty, skin revealing outfits for men to lust at them.

Kayfabe is a word commonly used in professional wrestling to describe something as real, be it anything from Razor Ramon being Hispanic, Hulk Hogan lifting up Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania 3, and Mankind being a psychopath.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley's character was a rich, classy 1800's gentleman who scoffed at cads that were beneath him, would he turn you down if you were dressed half naked and showed a lot of skin?

Though, you don't just wanna fuck Hunter, plus, wrestlers are playing characters and even back in the 1990's anyone with an IQ above their shoe size should know that wrestling is fake.

Not to mention, while watching "Monday Night Raw", you notice there are prepubescent little children in the audience watching this, and you're afraid some little kids will see you in a pretty skimpy outfit.

It isn't an outfit too revealing, like being dressed in a thong and nipple pasties, but it isn't something you'd want your teenage daughter wearing.

You had thought long and hard on what to wear, if Hunter will like you in your outfit, and if you don't do it with Hunter, you can always move to Razor Ramon, a major ladies man, or Shawn Michaels.

You decided to dress in some tiny acid wash denim short shorts and a makeshift crop top that tied at your breasts, but you prayed and hoped that Hunter would still bang you even if you're not dressed elegantly.

Thankfully, the WWF rolled to a town that was close to you, and you had arrived to that "Monday Night Raw" taping dressed in that aforementioned outfit.

You had butterflies in your stomach and felt like a giddy, overexcited schoolgirl when you saw Hunter, Razor Ramon, Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, and other wrestlers you fancied, tears of happiness weld in your eyes seeing them, and thank God you wore waterproof mascara.

You waited in line with some other ringrats, you felt like a hyper kid on sugar deep down inside, you were so excited to meet Hunter as well as other pro wrestlers, but you wanted to meet Hunter first.

You had never had sex with a professional wrestler before or even anyone famous before, though you did do it with a few guys on the wrestling team in high school.

As you waited in line, you chatted with other ringrats about how this is the first wrestling show you've ever been to and you've never done it with a professional wrestler before, they couldn't believe you.

Then, eventually, it was your turn, and you could nearly wet yourself in meeting Hunter Hearst Helmsley in more ways than one.

You smiled from ear to ear when you approached him, and as you walked up to him, his breath was nearly taken away by you.

No, he wasn't just playing his Hunter Hearst Helmsley character, he really did find you absolutely beautiful.

Like you when you first saw Hunter on television, his eyes were glued to you and looking you up and down.

"Hi" you said as you walked up to him, waving one of your hands to him.

"Hello" he greeted, "What is your name?"

He still talked in a phony, terrible British accent.

"Y/n" you confessed.

"Pleasure to meet you, y/n" he welcomed, taking one of your hands as you got closer to him and kissed the top of it like the gentleman he played on "Monday Night Raw", keeping kayfabe alive.

You could nearly faint when he kissed your hand, your entire body could turn red from bottom to top like in cartoons when a character gets kissed, and you smiled so much.

"You are absolutely beautiful" he gushed, getting up and putting both of his hands on the sides of your face, his eyes observing your face and body up and down.

You stared at him with an ear-to-ear smile and felt like a giddy schoolgirl inside as he touched you, you were trying to contain your excitement inside.

You legit feel like you're at Disneyland meeting Cinderella or Mickey Mouse or whatever, meeting people playing fictitious characters and keeping their characters alive, making you feel like you really are meeting them.

"Thanks" you said "Believe it or not, I've actually never actually done it with a professional wrestler before"

"Well, let me be your first" he purred, grinning as he said that.

"I actually started watching the WWF because of you" you confessed. "I never cared for pro wrestling until I saw you on a Monday night and was flipping through the channels, I changed the channel and found you having a match and couldn't keep my eyes off of you"

"I'm so proud of you" he gushed. "You chose me instead of those other cads"

He really is trying to keep kayfabe alive, even though you aren't buying that he's an English gentleman.

Even his British accent is terrible.

"Awwww, thanks" you said, smiling at him and looking like AJ Lee when she looks in someone's eyes and smiles at them. "Most other pro wrestlers aren't all that handsome, but you are"

"Precisely" he boasted, grinning.

"Do you like my outfit?" you asked, pointing at your outfit. "I was trying to decide what to wear, and I was scared you wouldn't like what I'm wearing right now since you play a classy, rich gentleman that scoffs at people beneath you"

"You look perfectly fine" he admitted.

"Oh, thank God!" you thanked to him, breathing a sigh of relief.

"You're welcome" he replied, smirking. "You are such a beautiful woman"

One of his hands stroked the side of your face, his thumb tracing down your jawline down to your chin.

"I'm thinking of having valets, women that escort wrestlers to the ring, wrapped right next to me as I walk to the ring" he confessed "Would you like to my valet?"

Oh. My God.

Your face and body completely froze, you didn't know what to think.

This is what he had in store for you that you didn't know about.

It's one thing to be a ringrat, it's another to be a ringrat turned valet.

Does that mean you're going to be signed to the World Wrestling Federation and be his valet?

"I-I don't know" you admitted, stuttering. "Am I going to be signed to the WWF and be your valet escorting you to the ring?"

"Yes you are" he admitted, nodding your head.

"It isn't just me being a valet for you once?" you asked.

"Well, it's your decision" he suggested.

He is giving you that decision, but you don't know what to decide.

He's so handsome and so are other wrestlers in the WWF, that means you get to travel with him and fuck them.

But...you'll give up your dreams, and you're in something that's a little bit corny and embarrassing that hopefully won't get any worse.

"I don't know what to do" you admitted. "I'll think about it, maybe I can be a valet for you onetime"

Even Hunter thought you can be a valet for him just once, he doesn't know what kind of trouble you'll get yourself into since you're a ringrat.

"I came here to fuck you" you admitted. "Pardon my language"

"It's alright" he understood, nodding his head.

You didn't want to say how you also wanted to fuck some other wrestlers as well: Razor Ramon, Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Shawn Michaels and even Marty Jannetty.

Hopefully his feelings won't be hurt if you go off to sleep with them.

You're not sure if you want to confess that you want to sleep with other wrestlers tonight, because you're afraid you'll upset him.

Maybe he might even show you off to those other wrestlers and how beautiful you are, and they'll wanna fuck you and it'll turn into an all out gangbang.

"Do you mind if I say this?" you asked him.

"What is it?" he asked.

You took a deep breath, preparing what to say.

"It isn't just you I want to fuck tonight" you admitted "But also Razor Ramon, Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty"

His eyes grew wide hearing that you wanna fuck all of those people.

"I hope you aren't upset by it" you said. "Although, having promiscuous sex leads to AIDS and HIV, amongst other STDS"

"Exactly" he admitted. "I'm not upset"

Hunter's character is very possessive of his valets, as evident by next year when he was furious over Wildman Marc Mero stealing Sable from him or when Mr. Perfect/Curt Hennig stole one of Hunter's valets.

Even Hunter admitted his women are his toys.

Hunter shouldn't be getting way too into kayfabe and taking it so seriously, he isn't really a rich 1800's Jane Austen-like gentleman, especially since those kinds of gentlemen carrying canes didn't exist anymore in the 1990's except in movies and TV shows.

That's the problem with pro wrestling: some people take their characters so seriously, they still play them when the cameras aren't filming, and sometimes, when you play a character on any wrestling show, sometimes you have to play that character all the time if you appear on other television shows.

That can be fine, but what if you're playing a nymphomaniac and you have to appear on Regis Philbin and Kathy Lee's talk show, you don't really wanna fuck Regis.

You're basically signing and selling your soul to the devil.

Though, again, wrestling is not real, and anyone who isn't a prepubescent youth should know that.

Hunter would even like to show you off to the other wrestlers, about how he's thought of turning you into a valet.

There have been ringrats he's slept with who are beautiful women, but not as beautiful as you are, much to the dismay of them.

In fact, many women ended up becoming ringrats and sleeping with other pro wrestlers in hopes that they can become a valet and eventual WWF superstar thanks to you.

Basically the Sable effect: Sable joined the WWF because she thought it would be her ticket to Hollywood, and the Bella Twins and Eva Marie followed suit, many other women have been like that as well.

And there has been controversy over "16 and Pregnant" and "Teen Mom" on MTV because of allegedly teenage girls getting pregnant just so they can be on those shows.

Later on that night, you made love with Hunter, and he even showed you off to other pro wrestlers who were in lust with you as well, especially Razor Ramon, Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty.

Did you get to fuck them? Oh yeah.

And you continued to fuck Shawn and Marty next year, but sadly, not Razor, who had left the WWF to go to WCW.

When you had went home, you thought long and hard whether or not to join the WWF or not.

You eventually decided to join the WWF, which was both wonderful and horrible.

When you eventually became Hunter's ringrat, men would cheer for you, but not for Hunter, and you eventually started sharing your own ideas with the WWF's creative staff.

Eventually, you blew up in popularity in the WWF and became the most popular woman in the company, and the most controversial person in the WWF.

Some people knew about your story, how you were a ringrat for Hunter, he got a boner for you and turned you into his valet, and there were many ringrats sending angry emails and letters to you, saying that they're ringrats who've slept with whatever pro wrestler and they didn't get turned into a valet.

Many people also thought you slept your way to the top, you're a gold digger, and you're basically a wrestling Monica Lewinsky, Courtney Love or Lil' Kim.

It's really Hunter's fault because it was his idea to turn you into a valet.

_____________________________________________________________

I really hope that I haven't typed this fanfic already before.

[jay-and-dean]

Rescue You  Chapter 3 : November, 3.

Dean x reader

Summary : My name is Y/n. I’m the outcast of my witch community. This is the story of how I rescued Dean Winchester, the story of how he saved me.

Serie Warnings : Swearing. Injuries. Smut. Fluff. Angst.

Chapter warning : Injuries, swearing, a hint of fluff ?

Words : 3001 (I knooow ! I said not more than 3k but you’ll forgive me one word.)

***Rescue You Masterlist***

***Want to read more ? => MASTERLIST***

___________________________

November 3, 10 am.

             After feeding Mam Griffin's animals, her chicken, rabbits and goats, I'm done with this morning tasks. Walking fast, I join home, with a little smile on my face that won't go away lately.

           Dean is getting a little better. He still can't move, and suffers a lot, but eating and talking are now easier. He won't die. I know he's still very wary, but my visits are more welcome, I feel like lately I tame him a little, and honestly, he's the most exciting thing that ever happened to me.

           Entering my house I hum a joyful Hello, and don't even take my coat off. I have to hurry because he must be hungry, now that he's eating, I know I'm not giving him enough, but I have to discreetly steal food and I can't risk buying a lot of stuff from the store, because everyone knows me, and everybody notices everything in this town.

           When I enter the living room, I freeze. Diana is here, taking a tea with my mom and my sister.

           Diana is my sister's godmother, every witch has one, a more powerful witch, in charge of magic education as much as the mother. Every witch, but me. I hate Diana, her red lipstick and her exaggerated perm. She's cruel and vain, always laying into me for being useless, comparing me to my sister, saying she's not only a real talented witch but also way prettier.

"Look who's finally home" she says with her conceited tone. "And in a good mood for once."

When she laughs, my sister imitates her, as usual ; my mom just looks at me.

"Hello" I repeat, with a lot less joy in my voice.

           I walk pass them and go straight to the fridge to get a little food for the hunter.

"What are you doing ?" Diana asks.

"Making a sandwich for lunch, I have work to do, I won't be back before dawn" I mumble.

"No" she says and my blood runs cold. "I want you to be there for lunch, you'll cook."

"What ?" I look at my mom but she doesn't react. "I-I can't. I have important things to do !"

"Important..." my sister mocks me and I feel anger burning my ears.

"I don't care what you have to do, you'll be useful for once" Diana laughs. "Oh and I want you to iron your sister's clothes, at least one of you has to look like a real lady."

I clench my fists like I have done many times, watching at her fake lashes flutter. Except this time, Dean comes in my head, the idea of him starving makes me sick, and I can't stand them taking this from me, controlling me again.

"I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE !" I yell before I can hold it back.

It's like the time had stopped. My mom stares at me with a shocked and scared look, my sister looks like I had slapped her, and Diana...

           Her eyes become black, literally, and her face turns pale. She gets up in silence and walks toward me. I'm shaking.

"Oh Y/n is having another little crisis" she says low. "Like when they took that stupid boy from you ? Or your Daddy ?" a evil smile appears on her face.

"Diana..." my mom says in a hidden pleading tone.

But before she can finish her sentence, my face hits the wall in a violent sound, sending a sharp pain in my skull. She's standing there, her hand raised toward me, her pupils blown. I can't move and my throat and half face start to burn, like an instant sunburn. I grunt and whine.

"If you won't do all I say, rebel, show me I'm not stronger than you" the horrible woman snaps.

"Diana !" my mom orders this time and I fall on the ground.

I jump on my feet and shake my head, looking at my sister that seems almost sorry behind her proud resting bitch face. I grab my fallen bag and run to the door.

"Stay here !"

"Let her go now" I hear my mom state before I storm out.

             I wipe away a tear but the contact of my hand on my face is painful. I walk fast, burning with rage and shame, trying to avoid every people's look, not wanting them to make it worse, because that's the only thing they would do.

           I suddenly stop. I have nothing to eat. I have nothing for the hunter and he needs strength. A wave of sadness hits me again but I start to think hard. I'll just steal, they won't be too suspicious if I just buy a coffee and a donut... and they know me, they won't suspect I have anything else in my coat.

 November 3, 11:45am.

              I push the door and smile. Finally ! He was sleeping but opens his eyes in fear at the first noise I make. He always wakes up in fear, and I noticed most of his sleep is filled with nightmares, Hell, monsters, griefs… I guess he has some horrible visions in there…

"It's me" I say, seeing how terrified he still looks again. "I'm sorry, I'm late, but... tada !" I smile showing him the food I bought. "You must be starving, how is the fever ? Can you still move your toes ?..."

"Y/n" he cuts me.

I turn toward him and see him frown. Looking down I put the cans on the table.

"What happened ?"

I try to ignore his question but he tries to move and groans in pain so I get closer.

"Careful" I warn and he grabs my hand with the speed of a snake. "Wh... I didn't tie you again yesterday ?"

"No" he grunts and pulls at my wrist to make me come closer.

I'm not afraid. I should be, but the only thing I feel right now is shame and that stabbing anger I have kept hidden all my life. Before I can control it, a tiny tear runs on my face.

"Look at me" he orders like no one ever did before, with kindness, without an ounce of threat.

I lift my eyes to find his.

           Now his face is not swollen anymore, I can see how beautiful his eyes are, how bright and smart, how perfectly his eyebrows highlight them, how well defined the lines of his face are under the beard growing from days to days...

"Who did that to you ?" he cuts my thoughts. "Are you... burned ?"

"I disobeyed someone important, it's nothing..."

"It's not nothing" he grunts. "I'll ki..." he stops.

Kill them ? Yes, I know he would, and he knows I don't want to hear that. So for an instant the tension between us is back, I look at him with distrust, and the killing fire in his hunter eyes are back. He lets go of my wrist and I take a step back. But my mind finally sees through the fear I've been taught, and realize somehow he wants to defend me.

"Are you hungry ?" I ask, knowing the answer.

He nods and I take the hotdogs from my pocket, making him frown. I shrug then put it in a pan with the beans that are already on the table, four hotdogs ? I turn to look at his tall frame and decide it will be okay.

"I bought a donut and a coffee" I say trying to make the hotplate work. "You like coffee ? It will be cold but I can heat it in here..."

"Y/n..." he calls weakly and I turn. "Did you eat ?"

"Yes, I had cereals for breakfast, don't worry about me" I smile kindly.

           When the food is ready, I come close to him and help him sit like yesterday. In a held back groan he straightens up, grabbing my shoulder for balance. I put the pillow behind him to make him lean on the wall.

"Here you go" I give him the bowl and a fork.

He looks at me, there is something on his face, something I never saw yet, like a simple vulnerable gratitude that is soft and shy.

"Why save me ?" he asks searching my eyes.

"Huh... I... I'm not a murderer I guess, I couldn't... kill you" I look up and smile gently.

I have no idea what to add.

           While he eats, I take a look at his leg, nothing worrying, but it will take months before he can walk again. His arms are still very weak, and sometimes he takes a break from lifting them to his mouth in a sigh. When I look up at him, he’s staring at me.

“I reek” he states. “I would give all my money for a shower, a toothbrush and a razor” he half smiles like he was trying with jokes to light the shame he’s feeling.

I can’t explain why I understand what he doesn’t say somehow, it’s just easy. He’s a warrior, covered in scars and good at hiding pain ; I guess he’s not good at being weak and life didn’t give him much more than the comfort of being clean and dignified…

“The shower will have to wait, but I brought a toothbrush and socks” I smile, checking the cut on his hand.

“Really ?” he raises his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I thought of all that the other day, the things you would need… Razor, okay… If there is anything else, just tell me.”

A silence. He tries to take another bite but the exhaustion is back on his face. I know he’s still hungry, but he just can’t move more for now.

           With caution, I come closer, and sit next to him, my hip touching his side. I take the bowl from his hand and look in it, he barely ate. His head rest against the wall, slightly back and he closes his eyes.

“Let me help” I whisper.

When the fork first appear in front of him, his jaw clenches, he looks between it and me with his mouth closed.

“It’s okay” I state low with my most amiable smile.

He opens his mouth and chew slow, staring at me with an expression I can’t read for once. Even when I avoid looking at his face, I feel his eyes right on me. So, as usual, I decide I should just talk to take his mind off of the food I help him eat.

           At first I ask him if he watched TV and what was on. He answers with few words, talking about a Scooby doo episode he knows by heart but saying he keeps falling asleep. What kind of fierce killer knows Cartoons by heart ? So I talk about it, telling him how I used to watch it with my dad in my pajamas, he used to tell me things could be awesome even without powers, and made fun of how naive they were… Dean listens to me, struggling with just chewing but apparently forgetting the pain in his chest a little when I make him focus on silly things.

“He looks great” he finally talks. “Your dad.”

I know I can’t hide that sadness behind my smile this time, and he frowns.

“Is he dead ?” he asks, sorry.

“Worse. Hey look !” I smile wide. “You ate everything. Good… Now do you want that donut ?”

 November 3, 5pm.

             He’s sleeping. After I washed him a little, gave him something to brush his teeth and changed the bandages, he passed out. The injuries make him sleep, but the pills I give him too, it’s often the issue with powerful painkillers. But I couldn’t resolve to go home. I’m afraid and I’m so angry my stomach hurts. If I could, I would just spend the night here, with the only person that never hurt me.

           I’m sitting on a chair against the little bed, the TV is on. The first four times he had a nightmare, I touched his chest to calm him, he was talking about a guy named Alastair and another named Michael. But now I just let my hand there, flat on his chest on a part of his body where no wounds make him suffer.

           I stopped watching TV after a while. And now I’m just staring at him, trying to understand who he is, like I could read it on his face. I know I should stop staring.

How old is he ? What kind of kid was he ? Does he like music ? Does he have a girlfriend ? How did he became a hunter ?... Are those freckles on his lips ?

           My phone rings, it’s my mom. If I don’t answer, she will look for me, and she could come here. I get up to take a few step away from the bed, turning my back on it.

“Yes, mother” I answer coldly.

“Y/n… I know you’re mad, but honestly I am too” she says on the phone.

“Yeah, you’re mad, not at Diana, I presume…”

“No ! At you” she starts.

“How surprising…”

“Why did you answer her like that ? Are you crazy ? Do you want me to look like a bad member of the community again ?”

“Come on mom, she used the burning spell on me ! The one the Coven uses to kill witches, kill mom !” I try not to raise my voice too much.

“I know, that was excessive…”

“But not throwing me through the room to hit my face on a wall…” I grunt.

“No, Y/n, you deserved that ! I know you’re mad but I have to show them I can control you” her tone is suddenly cold, like that time she burned all my dad’s presents and pictures. “Your room is empty, only a bed and a lamp, I gave your laptop and all your stuffs to your sister.”

My eyes fill with tears, I don’t have much, but reading and watching movies was my last escape from all this shit.

“You know I’m not a child anymore mom ?” I grunt between my teeth.

“Yes, Y/n, but you live in my house.”

“I only live here because the Coven forbid to hired me for anything else than handywoman shitty jobs” I state coldly.

“I guess you’re upset and won’t come home for diner” she just states.

“I won’t come back tonight” I say, my voice breaking.

“Maybe that’s better, that will let you time to think about your behavior. Just don’t freeze to death, they say it will sno…” I hung up before she can finish.

           I take a deep shaking breath and hold back tears. Still turning my back on the bed, I try to make that smile appear again on my face, but I feel like breaking things right now. After a few deep breaths, I finally manage to control my face. I turn around.

           Dean is awake, his worried eyes on me. Just seeing him makes my armor crack and I let out an involuntary a unique sob, putting my hand on my mouth to silent myself. His hand comes out of the covers, like he wanted to reach me.

“Y/n… he just says.

Wiping my tears I smile again, and it is a sincere smile :

“The good news is, I’m staying tonight” I shrug weakly, coming closer.

I sit back on the chair and, out of reflex, put my hand back on his chest, I realize it only when he covers it with his. I look at his hand, and the urge to cry comes back, but I fight it.

           I just realized I never felt that safe ; with the hand of my wounded enemy on mine, just protected by the kindest gesture I ever known.

“What did you hear ?” I ask shyly, looking down.

“Everything.”

 November 3, 11pm.

             I don’t want to take my hand back, but I really need to wrap my arms around myself. It’s now freezing outside and crystals are forming on the small window, outside, and inside. I check on Dean but he seems warm, the thick cover I gave him is doing its job.

           I put my feet on the chair and cover them with my oversized hoodie, wrapping my arms around it.

“You’re freezing” Dean says before he opens his eyes.

“I’m okay” I state, failing not to shake.

“You’re freezing and spending the night on a wooden chair…” he insists. “Come here.”

He pushes the cover to show me the very little place on the mattress left. I shake my head but the warmth coming from it is begging me to go, or I think I will have hypothermia.

“There is not a lot of space, Dean, and I could hurt your ribs” I murmur but he shakes his head.

“If you freeze in the night, I’m dead, right ?” he half smiles, making me smile entirely in return.

           Hesitantly, I put a knee on the mattress and he lifts his shoulder slowly, allowing me to awkwardly lay on my side, completely against him, my head on his good shoulder. I have just enough space to put my legs, side and head, but moving just a little would make me fall of the bed. His arms comes in my back, like he wanted to hold me but he can’t yet.

           I have no choice but to snuggle against him, like we were cuddling, avoiding his wounds, and paradoxically avoiding to touch him with my hands, when my entire body is nestled against his. The warmth seems burning, and it’s heavenly. I look up and watch his face, he’s different from here. His smell is too…

“I didn’t tie you…” I say, almost joking.

“Okay, I’ll try not to kill you…” he grunts with a little tap of his hand on my back, already drifting away again.

_______________________________

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[ladykeane]

Bertie and Reg dress up for Halloween at Dahlia's!! and the party!!!

To the lovely Nonny who sent this, I profusely apologise if you’re not the massive weeb/animation geek that I am. But this idea stuck, and I couldn’t help myself!

Fair warning, it’s quite silly, most definitely cracky, and completely self indulgent…

There was a lesson given to me by my drama teacher at school, Mrs Irving, that has always stayed with me. The gist of her teaching was that a good actor must have a sort of dual consciousness. I suppose what she meant was that a chap should have the power to transform his mindset into that of the character he plays - and then just as easily slip back into his usual mental space, once the curtain falls. There must co-exist a Bertie-the-Wooster and Bertie-the-Prince-Hal within a single animal. Well, I suppose I have put this lesson to good use in my adult life, as I can attest that Bertie-the-Drone, Bertie-the-obedient-nephew and Bertie-the-seducer-of-certain-Jeeveses manage to be conjured at the drop of a whatsit.

A particularly surprising example of this dual consciousness wheeze occurred just recently, on the night of Aunt Dahlia’s annual Halloween bash. I suppose the lifted veil to the spirit world aided this shift of the Wooster disposish. (Well, the costume probably helped too, not to mention my dear auntie’s insistence that her party guests never drop out of character for the whole of the evening. That can make certain things a tad awkward, such as bathroom ablutions. One must ask: does Superman use the lavatory at all?)

I was given the scoop on the event by my ancestor over the phone, as I sat digesting a fourth-or-fifth slice of Reg’s birthday cake. (This year he had requested a Black Forest, and I have to say that I outdid myself. The leftover kirsch was also a boon.)

‘Super-groups?’ I asked. ‘You mean like the Travelling Wilburys?’‘No, young clot, I mean super-groups like the Avengers, Justice League, and their lycra-clad ilk. The group with the best costumes and most convincing delivery will receive a prize from your Uncle Tom and myself.’‘Ooh! And what is that?’‘For one, a cooking lesson with Anatole. Apparently he owed Reg a favour, and your man generously donated said favour to me.’I glanced an appreciative glance at my beloved, who sat perusing the W.H. Auden anthology I had given him.‘Secondly, a near-pristine Nintendo Gamecube, complete with controllers and a collection of best-selling game cartridges.’‘You mean the one you confiscated from Angela and myself? I still think that was an unfair punishment.’‘I say, it was entirely fair! Do you forget that I got stuck with the bill to clean your old headmaster’s office!? I am told that the stench of baked beans can still be detected throughout the school halls, to this very day! Anyway, I would advise you to get cracking. The competition will be stiff, I hear Angela’s little friends have been working on their costumes since August. Perhaps you and Reg could go as Batman and Robin!’‘Perhaps, auntie.’‘Well, pip-pip then. I’ve got many a fake tombstone and skeleton to haul down from the attic.’

As I hung up, Reg raised his head from his book. ‘I believe Mrs Travers has briefed you on this year’s Halloween festivities?’‘Indeed. She’s never offered a prize for the guests before. They’re real plums, at that. I reckon it would be well worth the splurge to get some first-rate togs.’‘May I ask what this year’s theme is?’‘Super-groups. By which I mean, groups of superheroes. She suggested we go as Batman and Robin! We’re already quite the dynamic duo, anyway. What d’you think?’

As I uttered these words, the Jeevesian brow began sinking south, until the look on his face chilled the lukewarm cup of tea sitting at my elbow.‘I should say not, Bertram.’‘Oh. Well… what about Danger Mouse and Penfold? You could be DM, of course.’‘I regret that I shall be unable to attend this year’s festivities. I have much to do to complete the Earl of Rowcester’s living will.’

Of all the paper-thin excuses! ‘Oh, don’t give me that Reg! What is it? You don’t care to be in the same room as all that brightly-coloured spandex? You fared just fine at last year’s “Stranger Things” soiree, and we were surrounded by a multitude of eighties fashion, at that!’(He made quite the dashing Steve Harrington, actually. Aunt Dahlia cast this Bertram as Dustin, so while I was able to tag after him all night there was an unfortunate dearth of snogging.)‘I am afraid I must insist. I do not care to be dressed in the bright, garish apparel that is requisite of superheroes.’

Given that it was the lowly rotter’s birthday, I held on to the flames that should have escaped from my nostrils. ‘Oh, very well, Reg. Have it your way.’ To ensure that none of my internal invective against him slipped past the Wooster lips, I left the flat for a sullen trudge about Mayfair.

***

That very evening, Bingo Little summoned self and several other Drones to dinner. He was in town with his husband Randy, to look for a property where they could spend their Winters. While the reports given indicated that all was spiffy within their NYC townhouse, Randy wanted to ensure that his paramour did not lose touch with his British roots. And I think I remembered him saying that his next novel was to be set in South Kensington, inspired by the likes of Richard Curtis and Hugh Grant. All rather convenient, no?

‘That Gamecube and cooking lesson with Anatole is as good as ours, lads. I have the perfect idea for our super-group.’ Here Bingo took a long sip of tea, leaving us in a state of eye-boggling suspense.‘Christ and his disciples?’ suggested Stinker.‘The Bloomsbury Group?’ queried Boko.‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?’ asked Gussie.

‘Better,’ Bingo finally replied, a rivulet of tea dribbling down his chin. ‘Do you know “Sailor Moon”?’

‘Sparkly schoolgirl with the pigtails? Yes, I recall watching the English language version with Angela sometimes. Quite a cheesy romp, that.’‘Oh, you ought to read the original manga ,’ said Boko. ‘A perfect blend of costumed superhero action and romantic high fantasy!’

For the next half hour, we were subject to Boko and Bingo giving us a full synopsis of the dratted space opera, complete with character studies, mythological references, and feminist overtones. Now, I have known my fellow Drones to sometimes possess hidden depths, but I was unsure whether this encyclopedic grasp of a Japanese super-girl-group was more of a mild pathology instead.

‘So,’ Bingo announced, ‘I believe I’ve figured out the perfect casting for each of us. I shall be Sailor Venus, of course, the soldier of love. Randy does call me his golden love god, after all.’ (Pause here for requisite retching.) ‘Gussie can be Sailor Mercury, given his general… wateriness. Boko’s love of house plants is perfect for Sailor Jupiter. And due to his spiritual calling, Stinker will be Sailor Mars, the shrine-maiden.’

I was trying to picture each of my chums kitted out in a colour coded schoolgirl costume. Perhaps we would score points for comedic effect, if nothing else.‘And what about me?’ I asked.‘Well, you’ll be our Sailor Moon, naturally.’‘Golly! I must say, Bingo, I’m quite chuffed to be given the starring role. I assume that it’s due to my former experience with drag, not to mention my theatrical prowess and general heroic gravitas.’‘Well… I suppose. It’s also because Sailor Moon is supposed to be a ditzy blonde crybaby.’‘Ah.’The judicious nods that the others gave were a tad insulting.

‘Does this mean that I’ll have to wax? ’ asked Gussie.

***

Now, if you’ve ever seen the much-celebrated cartoon, you’ll know that one of the highlights of every episode is the spangly transformation sequences, where each heroine morphs from humdrum schoolgirl into celestial warrioress. Our first go at donning the famous fuku was much less glamorous.

Boko knew a chap who knew a lass who worked at a highly-regarded fancy dress company. Apparently, many a masquerade-goer and cosplayer has raved about their beautifully crafted goods. As we trundled our way out their HQ on the tube, we were all in high hopes of scoring the perfect outfits. As it happens, the fitting session that followed made me appreciate just how inadequate the standard sizing of womens’ apparel really is.

Bingo and I had the best luck, but the costumes closest to fitting us were narrow in the shoulders and wide in the hips. Gussie managed to squeeze into one of the larger sizes, but resembled more of a wrinkly chicken sausage than a cute superheroine. (The skirt was appallingly short on him, and when he bent over to grab his phone from his bag I was quite traumatised.) Stinker, who is built akin to a silverback gorilla, utterly utterly destroyed the costume he attempted to yank on. I offered to foot the bill for that one, as a vicar’s salary can only cover so many breakages per month.

‘It’s no good, boys,’ sighed the seamstress who had patiently assisted us, ‘you’ll need to get these custom-made.’‘And how long will that take?’ asked Bingo.She put on a brave face. ‘I’ll do my best to get them ready for Halloween, but bear in mind I’ve already got a backlog of orders to finish.’‘Chin up!’ I replied. ‘I can probably ask a favour of the drag queen who did my costuming for “Legally Blonde” - Reg cut her a sweet deal with a new agent at the time. I’ll ask if she can source the shoes and wigs and things.’

A level of relief washed on to the girl’s face at this. I’d feel the same, if I were freed from the task of cobbling a pair of Stinker Pinker-sized red pumps.‘Even so, we’ll be cutting it close with this order. I doubt I’ll be done before the morning of the 31st.’‘Send me the bill for your energy drinks,’ I offered.‘It’s a deal.’

***

Time ticked on, and All Hallows Eve drew near. While I did my best not to harbour any full-on wrath against Reg at his blowing-off of the party, I couldn’t help but act a tad pipped towards him. Were lurid leotards and shiny accessories really so horrid?When he snuggled close to me on the sofa, I scooched away. When he dropped a kiss upon my map, my only response was tight-lipped disinterest. The blighter refused to compromise, so wherefore should this Wooster succumb to his entreaties? I took a lot of cold showers that week.

The big day came, and still nary a costume was yet received.‘5pm, she said,’ Boko told me, ‘and we’ll have to go and pick them up ourselves.’‘Hm, that is cutting it close. Well, bear up, old fruits! Leather Smalls will be along this arvo to do our make-up and hair.’‘Leather Smalls?’‘Didn’t I tell you? She’s part of an all-drag M People tribute act.’

If I can impart to you the experience of tubing it across suburban London in a long blonde, pigtailed wig, a full face of makeup, and masculine civvies, accompanied by four other similarly styled blokes, you probably wouldn’t doubt my claim that it was one of the more surreal experiences in my life. Halloween is not quite the big deal here that it is across the pond, so we got quite the share of wolf whistles, disapproving auntly glares, and ‘yaaaas, queen’s from our fellow travellers.

At last, at last, we arrived at Brinkley Court, freshly finished costumes in hand. The coloured lights, costumed crowd, and strains of ‘Monster Mash’ from within indicated a party already in full swing.As we entered the front door, I grabbed for the first bowl of sweets I could find, given my lowered blood sugar.‘That’s it!? Gawd, Bertie, you could have at least made an effort!’

Angela had grabbed one of the sweets from my hand and popped it in her mouth. I wasn’t quite sure who she was supposed to be, but her costume was really quite the thing.She was caked head-to-toe in light purple body paint, with a long wig in a paler shade of the same colour. A brilliant gem was affixed to her chest, and she wielded a long double-headed whip. I did not feel inclined to backtalk her.‘So who’ve you come as?’‘One of the Crystal Gems, obvs. Anyway, you need to go easy on those. Mum says that some neighbourhood bullies have been stealing sweets from the trick-or-treating kids, and she’s promised to recompense them.’‘What!?’My blood was now boiling - what lowly cad felt the need to scam helpless rugrats out of their jelly babies and smarties?

‘Oh, it’s awful,’ said Aunt Dahlia, swiping the remaining sweets from my hand and depositing them back in their bag. ‘I just saw Captain America crying his poor little eyes out, being comforted by Bucky Barnes. A whole evening’s worth of trick-or-treating swag, stolen from them by three nasty teenagers!’‘She means Thos and Edwin,’ Angela translated.‘What teenagers?’ asked Stinker.‘Some of the nastier upperclassmen from Eton, apparently. Captain America tells me that they have a reputation for bullying even the house masters and head teachers. Great brutes.’‘Rum,’ I said. ‘But, Aunt Dahlia-’‘Who?’I took in my auntie’s costume.‘But, Catwoman, hasn’t anyone tried to pull them up for it?’‘They’ve been too wily. I was told that they also egged the Emsworths’ place, running off onto Ham Common before anyone could catch them.’‘Travesty!’ cried Boko. ‘They can’t get away with this!’‘Too right!’ I said.‘Well? You lot are supposed to be the Sailor Senshi, aren’t you? You fight for love and justice, yes?’‘Er…?’‘You must transform, and thwart the damned villains!’

The Drones and I shared a look askance. ‘Um.’‘May I remind you, Sailor Moon, of the video games and French cuisine that are up for grabs for the group who best embodies their chosen superheroes?’‘Right ho. Moon Prism Power Make Up, then!’

***

We stampeded upstairs, bottlenecking on the landing, and Stinker stumbled noisily upon the top step. Into my old bedroom, and our everyday trappings were cast off in favour of our splendid, sparkly sailor ensembles.It was a bit of a muddle - the others needed help donning their padded brassieres, not to mention adjusting their skirts to preserve modesty. But after a few fumbling minutes, we were ready to go, as resplendent a team of magical girls as Brinkley Court had ever seen.

I allowed myself an indulgent linger before the full-length mirror. I really did look cute. The big pink bow was quite flattering to my proportions, and the blue skirt and collar set off my eyes nicely.‘Come on, Sailor Moon! We’ve got a contest to win!’With a flick of my pigtails, I was off.

Bursting out of Brinkley’s front door again, we charged into the gloaming. The place looks directly out over Ham Common, and on the great stretch of lawn, it did not take us long to spot the perps.

A juvenile, quivering Wallace and Gromit were surrounded by three of the largest, most grotesque teenage boys that I’d ever beheld. Though a good decade younger than myself, they looked to be twice my height and about four times my body weight. Most ghastly of all were their choices of costume: the ringleader was dressed as Pennywise the Clown, with his two lieutenants cast as Thanos and a zombie version of Napoleon Dynamite. I admit that the hint of rotten green brain showing through his blonde afro was an impressive use of make-up, but it did turn my stomach a tad.

Just before they could rip the trick-or-treat bags from the youngsters, I put a solid, heeled boot forward.‘Leave those beloved icons of childrens’ entertainment alone!’‘Hurrr,’ slurred Thanos, ‘check out the anime drag queens.’‘Wanna come party with us, girls?’ said Pennywise. ‘We got heaps of sweeties for the sweeties!’I puffed out my padded chest. ‘Never! I stand for love and justice! And… by the Code of the Woosters, I shall punish you!’

And so it began. We swooped upon them. Wallace and Gromit scarpered, and we were met with a barrage of large humbugs. When thrown with enough velocity, those things can leave a bruise.

Behind me, Gussie boldly came up bearing a large garden hose. He turned the nozzle on the head, but instead of dousing the monsters, the force of the spray was a bit too much for him, and he clung on for dear life as the hose thrashed about in his arms. He quickly went down in a self-inflicted mud puddle.

Stinker managed to plant a shiner of a right hook on Thanos. The brute staggered away, doubled over in pain. He threw off his plastic infinity gauntlet, upon which Stinker tripped magnificently, going pumps over skirt into the turf as well.

Boko fearlessly leapt upon Napoleon’s back, wrapping his noodly arms about an equally noodly neck. Napoleon bucked about like a bronco with a bad itch. Boko did his best to hang on, but the slippery satin gloves ultimately betrayed him, and the poor soul was flung off into a nearby rose bush.

The three monsters continued running from us. It was just me and Bingo now. We exchanged a silent glance of Sailor Senshi solidarity, as we pursued them towards a clump of oak trees.With a well aimed stomp, Bingo got Pennywise right in the oversized foot, with the heel of his pump. However, before I could back him up, the two lieutenants grabbed my chum and snatched his wig by its red ribbon, hurling it up into the branches of one of the trees.‘NOT MY VENUS WIG!’Abandoning the skirmish, Bingo pathetically began clambering up the branches to try and retrieve the thing. (I mean, it was a nice wig. And if it came back damaged, I would be owing Leather Smalls big time.)

And so, the beasts turned their attention to me. Three cruel grins bore down upon me like vultures on a dying wildebeeste. They looked like they could easily pummel me into a boneless mush, and not even feel it the next day. I’m not too proud to admit that I quivered in my heeled boots.‘What was that about punishing us, sweetie?’‘Let’s hang her from the branches by those stupid pigtails!’‘Yeah! And then we’ll-’

All of a sudden, something sleek and sharp came whistling through the night air. It popped Pennywise’s balloon, and struck Thanos right between the cheeks of his ample bum.‘Ow!’‘What the…’It was a fine, thin blade, attached to a deep red rose.

The four of us whipped our heads towards the source of the floral projectile. Imagine my total astonishment to perceive, perched upon a high stone wall before the radiant moon, none other than Tuxedo Mask. Gosh, he was splendid, with his billowing black cape and aura of general rakishness.‘How dare you blackguards steal from innocent children and assault these brave soldiers. Sailor Moon, I know you can defeat them.’‘But how, dash it!?’

He tossed me a bright pink plastic object. It took me a moment to discern that it was an external hard drive. It bore a little decal of one of those colourful cartoon pony characters.I looked back at the monsters, to find Pennywise agog.‘Wh… WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!?’‘Uhm…’‘Dude… is that what I think it is?’ said Napoleon.‘GIVE IT BACK!’ cried Pennywise.

Tuxedo Mask and I shared a single silent, meaningful glance, and I dropped the thing to the grass, raising my heeled boot above it, primed to smash.‘Well… I might, if you agree to apologise to every last child you terrorised, AND return their sweeties.’‘But we already ate some,’ said Thanos.‘Alright… maybe just give them a few quid, in that case. AND you’ll be cleaning the egg off Mrs Emsworth’s front stoop.’‘Anything, ANYTHING!’ begged Pennywise. ‘Please just give me back my-’‘NIGEL!!!’

A robust, sour-faced Jean Grey was stomping across the grass, her fiery gaze fixed on Pennywise.‘You have a lot of explaining to do, young man!’‘But Mum-’‘I should confiscate your little pony stories this instant!’‘No! Please…’‘Instead, you will do exactly as Sailor Moon says, and apologise to all the people whose Halloween you have ruined! You too, Cyril, Edgar! Don’t think I won’t be telling your mothers what you’ve done!’

The clown was dragged off by his ear to begin his penance, but not before he could snatch up his pink hard drive. Now that the leader had fallen, his two henchmen slunk along in his wake.

The Sailor Senshi had regrouped, and Angela, Thos, and Edwin (sorry, Amethyst, Captain America, and Bucky) had also dashed up to join us.‘You know who that was?’ said Angela, ‘Little Nigel Belfry. I went to St George’s with his big sister Diedre. Rotten little punk. One of the worst trolls in the online “My Little Pony” fandom too.’‘He bullies us all the time,’ said Thos.‘Well, dangle the name “Eulalie” in front of him. That’s his username on all the major MLP forums. Not sure he’d like that info getting out at Eton.’ Here she thumped me on the back. ‘Well done, Sailor Moon, you gave him the punishment that he sorely needed.’‘Oh, but I couldn’t have done it without…’I turned towards the stone wall. Of course, Tuxedo Mask had already biffed off. Probably to go hunt down the Silver Imperium Crystal or something.

***

Now that the drama had wound down, we finally had a chance to mingle. I got to take in the costumes of Angela’s group: Honoria was some sort of giant magenta woman with sunglasses and boxing gloves; Florence looked lovely and delicate in a gossamer tutu, and gleefully swung about a rather frightening spear; while Madeline was surprisingly dressed in drag - some charming little chap by the name of Steven, I think. The craftwork of their outfits was simply matchless, and they were clearly the ones to beat for the contest.

After Time-Warping and Thriller-ing and Caramelldansen-ing the night away, as well as quaffing some questionable looking cocktails with names like Chemical X and Radioactive Sludge, it was time to announce the winners of the costume competition.Uncle Tom (sorry, the 4th Doctor) killed the music, and tapped a fork against his glass of Chemical X to call for silence.Dahlia-or-Catwoman hopped up on the coffee table, to better survey the throng. ‘The door prize goes to Winnie the Pooh, who clearly misunderstood the assignment.’Spode-the-Pooh shuffled up to grab his bag of humbugs, and Madeline-or-Steven applauded wildly.

‘The runners-up are Wario and Waluigi, who regrettably stayed true to their despicable characters all evening!’Claude and Eustace collected their swag of Quality Street and Jack Daniels, fighting over who would get to carry them.

Angela and I exchanged a tense side eye. Could one of us really have been left out?

‘And the first prize… is a joint win, between the Crystal Gems and the Sailor Senshi! Come on down, ladies!’Well, everyone pooh-poohs nepotism until they benefit from it. Angela and I joined hands, and led our respective groups to their shared moment of glory. (And after a little bartering, we agreed to let the girls take the cooking lesson, while we scored the Gamecube. I know that Angela has long been an avid fan of Anatole’s show ‘Cuisine Inferno’.)

***

After a little more merrymaking, the music changed from novelty festive monster songs to the cheesy fodder of slow dancing. As couples began to pair off and pitch woo, a thought occurred to me: where the devil had Tuxedo Mask gone?

At the very least, I wished to thank the fellow. It was anyone’s guess as to how he had picked up on Nigel-or-Pennywise’s little secret, but he had truly been my saviour.

I squeezed through the waves of slow dancers, trying to keep my eyes peeled for a top hat or a black cape. Alas, the only capes I could spy were of bright and garish hues.

I escaped to the quiet of Brinkley’s large, rambling back yard, in the hopes of getting a little air. As I ankled along the gravelled drive in my heeled boots, I couldn’t help but let a little melancholy sink in. Despite my search for Tuxedo Mask, I well knew who I really wanted to spend this night with.I reached the fountain, ornamented by Aunt Dahlia’s favoured statue of Artemis, and plonked my sorry self down upon its edge.‘Sailor Moon… we meet again.’

He emerged from behind the shadow of the trees, and I leapt right up.‘Tuxedo Mask! Ah… I really did want to thank you for your help back there. Awful solid of you, old chap.’

He did not come closer. ‘You are most welcome. I had been charged with organising the family affairs of the Earl of Rowcester. I encountered his youngest son, who proved to possess a most malicious and scheming temperament. I felt the temporary acquisition of the lad’s most prized digital information would prove a useful bargaining chip at some juncture.’‘And right you were, Tuxedo Mask! What a bally stroke of genius you…’

He stepped forward, and removed his eyemask.

‘Bertram, I am sorry that I was so intractable about tonight.’‘Oh… Good Lord… Reg, I hoped so dearly that it was you!’

I flew to his arms. And Angela, the sneaky brat, managed to get a good number of happy snaps of Sailor Bertie and Tuxedo Reg locked in a passionate embrace.

‘Reg?’‘Yes, my moonbeam?’‘Keep the cape.’

[alexsmitposts]

Lies Which the West Manufactures and then Consumes After my work in the Middle East had finished, at least for the time being, I was waiting for my flight to Santiago de Chile. In Paris. I could count on a few ‘free’ days, processing what I had heard and witnessed in Beirut. Day after day, for long hours, I sat in a lounge, typing and typing; reflecting and typing. As I was working, above me, France 24 television news channel was on, beaming from a flat screen. The people around me were coming and going: West African elites on their wild shopping sprees, shouting unceremoniously into their mobile phones. Koreans and Japanese doing Paris. Rude German and North American beefy types, discussing business, laughing vulgarly, disregarding ‘lower beings’, in fact everyone in their immediate radius. No matter what was happening in my hotel, France 24 was on, and on, and on. Yes, precisely; for 24 hours, recycling for days and nights the same stories, once in a while updating news, with a slightly arrogant air of superiority. Here, France was judging the world; teaching Asia, the Middle East, Africa and Latin America, about themselves. In front of my eyes, above me, on that screen, the world was changing. For many months I had been covering the nightmarish riots of the treasonous violent ninjas in Hong Kong. I was all over the Middle East, particularly Lebanon, and now I was on my way to my second home, Latin America, where socialism has kept winning elections, but was getting beaten, even terrorized, by the corrupt and crooked Western empire. All that France 24 kept showing, I have been habitually witnessing with my own eyes. And more, much more, from many different angles. I have filmed it, written about it, and analyzed it. In many countries, all over the world, people have been sharing their stories with me. I have seen barricades, photographed and filmed injured bodies, as well as tremendous revolutionary enthusiasm and excitement. I have also witnessed betrayals, treasons, cowardice. But in the lounge, in front of the television set, everything appeared pretty groovy, very classy, and comforting. The blood looked like a well-mixed color, the barricades like a stage of the latest Broadway musical. People were dying beautifully, their shouts muted, theatrical. The elegant anchor in a designer dress was beaming benevolently, whenever people on the screen dared to show some powerful emotions, or were grimacing in pain. She was in charge, and she was above all of this. In Paris, London and New York, powerful emotions, political commitments and grand ideological gestures, were made outdated, already a long time ago. During just the few days that I spent in Paris, many things have changed, on all the continents. The Hong Kong rioters were evolving; beginning to set on fire their compatriots simply because they dared to pledge their allegiance to Beijing. Women were unceremoniously beaten, with metal bars, until their faces were covered in blood. In Lebanon, the big clenched fists of the pro-Western regime-change Otpor were suddenly at the center of the anti-government demonstrations. The economy of the country was collapsing. But the Lebanese ‘elites’ were burning money, all around me, all around Paris and all around the world. Poor Lebanese Misérables, as well as the impoverished middle class, were demanding social justice. But the rich of Lebanon were mocking them, showing. They had it all figured out: they have robbed their own country, then left it behind, and now were having a great ball here, in the “City of Lights”. But to criticize them in the West has been taboo; forbidden. Political correctness, the mighty Western weapon used to uphold the status quo, has made them untouchable. Because they are Lebanese; from the Middle East. A good arrangement, isn’t it? They are robbing their fellow Middle Easterners, on behalf of their foreign masters in Paris and Washington, but in Paris or London, it is taboo to expose their ‘culture’ of debauchery. In Iraq, the anti-Shi’a and therefore anti-Iranian sentiments have been dispersed, powerfully and clearly, from abroad. The second big episode of the so-called Arab Spring. Chileans have been fighting and dying, trying to depose a neo-liberal system, forced down their throats ever since 1973 by the Los Chicago Boys. The Bolivian socialist government, successful, democratic and racially inclusive, has been overthrown, by Washington and Bolivian treasonous cadres. People have been dying there, too, on the streets of El Alto, La Paz, and Cochabamba. Israel was at it again, in Gaza. Full force. Damascus was bombed. I went to film the Algerians, Lebanese and Bolivians; people who were pushing for their agendas at the Place de la Republique. I anticipated the horrors that were waiting for me, soon; in Chile, Bolivia and Hong Kong. I was writing, feverishly. While the television set was humming. People were entering and leaving the lounge, meeting and separating, laughing, shouting, crying and making up. Nothing to do with the world. The outbursts of indecent laugher erupted periodically, even as the bombs were exploding on the screen, even as the people were charging against the police and the military. *** Then, one day, I realized that nobody really gives a damn. Like that; so simple. You witness what happens, all over the world; you document it. You are risking your life. You are getting engaged. You get injured. Sometimes you come close, extremely close, to death. You do not watch TV. Never, or almost never. You appear on the television, yes; you supply stories and images. But you never watch the results; what emotions your work, your words and images, truly evoke. Or do they evoke any emotions at all? You only work for the anti-imperialist media outlets, never for the mainstream. But for whomever you work for, you have no clue what the facial expressions your reports from the war zones are arousing. Or what emotions any war zone reports stir. And then, you are in Paris, and you have some time to watch your readers, and suddenly you understand. You get it: why so few are writing to you, support your struggle, or even fight for the countries being destroyed, decimated by the empire. When you look around, observing people who are sitting in a hotel lounge, you clearly realize: they feel nothing. They want to see nothing. They understand nothing. France 24 is on, but it is not a news channel, which it was intended to be, many years ago. It is entertainment stuff, which is supposed to produce sophisticated background noise. And it does. Precisely that. Same as the BBC, CNN, Fox and Deutsche Welle. *** As the legitimately elected socialist President of Bolivia was being forced into exile, tears in his eyes, I got hold of the remote control, and switched channel to some bizarre and primitive cartoon network. Nothing changed. The expressions on the faces of some twenty people around me did not change. If a nuclear bomb would have exploded on the screen, somewhere in the Sub-Continent, no one would pay any attention. Some people were taking selfies. While I was describing the collapse of the Western culture on my MacBook. All of us were busy, in our own way. Kashmir, West Papua, Iraq, Lebanon, Hong Kong, Palestine, Bolivia and Chile were on fire. So, what? Ten meters away from me, an American businessman was shouting into his phone: “Are you going to invite me back to Paris in December? Yes? We have to discuss details. How much am I getting per day?” Coups, uprisings, riots, all over the world. And that plastic, professional smile of the lady, the news announcer, in her blue and white retro designer dress; so confident, so French, and so endlessly fake. *** Lately, I keep wondering whether the inhabitants of Europe and North America have any moral right to control the world. My conclusion is: definitely not! They do not know, and they do not want to know. Those who have power are obliged to know. In Paris, Berlin, London, New York, individuals are too busy admiring themselves, or ‘suffering’ from their little, selfish problems. They are too busy taking selfies, or being preoccupied with their sexual orientation. And of course, with their ‘business’. That is why I prefer to write for Russian and Chinese outlets, to address people who are scared like myself, anxious about the future of the world. The editors of this magazine, in faraway Moscow, are; they are anxious and passionate at the same time. I know they are. I, and my reports, are not some ‘business’ for them. People whose cities are smashed, ruined, are not some sort of entertainment in the editorial room of NEO. In many Western countries, people have lost their ability to feel, to get engaged, and to fight for a better world. Because of this loss, they should be forced to give up their power over the world. Our world is damaged, scarred, but is tremendously beautiful and precious. It is not a business, to work for its improvement and survival. Only great dreamers, poets and thinkers can be trusted, fighting for it, steering it forward. Are there many poets and dreamers amongst my readers? Or do they look, do they behave, as those guests in the hotel lounge in Paris, in front of the screen beaming France 24?

[fluffballgremmie]

Monsters Fate (full story)

“Zane!”

I shouted towards the  red-head as I  jogged over to his spot. He was listening to something, probably fall out boys, and had just slipped on his hood as I came up so he didnt notice me at first. I tapped him on the head to get his attention and he jumped a little.

“Wha?!-oh hey DF! Didn't notice you there! How are you doing?”

I smiled at Zane. Zane usually has his head in the clouds and tends to not pay attention to his surroundings. Sometimes it worries me since he's had a bad history with daydreaming. Back before he became my roommate he had been living with his abusive mother and had been punished for it. When he was old enough to move out he asked me if he could become my roommate. Since we had been friends since he was 5, and I knew about his mother, I didn't refuse.  And I must admit though, ever since he's moved in I have tended to be a bit protective over him.

“I’m doing good. Are you ready to go home?”

“I have been ready for over an hour you dolt.”

“HEY! Don't call me a dolt you dolt. Plus I couldn't wait to get this,”

I retorted back as I flashed the tattoo that I had gotten.

It was a small tattoo on my shoulder of three wolves. Each were slightly different in shape and size as well as coat texture. One of the wolves was slightly smudged so it seemed more like a shadow or if it was a fake wolf.

He playfully punched my arm as the bus arrived. We rode the bus to our apartment building walked up two flights of stairs and opened the door to our third-floor apartment. I walked down the main hall and headed for my room where I dropped off my bag full of merch and turned back to the door and walked towards the living room. Zane was already perched on the couch scrolling through Netflix trying to find his favorite series, Voltron.

“Still working on that cartoon?” I teased as he gave me a triggered look.

“For your information it's called a animated series, thank you very much.” he huffed as the introduction played.

Deciding that I didn't want to push him any further I plopped down next to him and watched the show.After watching two to three episodes I decided to head off to bed.

****                     

“Man that test was easy!”

I had just finished my driving test and was holding my new licenses.

“You better not lose that, you just got it after all.” Zane teased as I slipped it into my pocket.

“Hey I won't lose it!” I retorted as we walked past a alleyway.

That's when I noticed two guys were towering over a poor kitten kicking it over, and over, and over. The kitten was mewling in pain and I felt a bitter rage come over me.

“Hey! Knuckleheads! Stop hurting an innocent animal!”

The one on the right turned to us with a annoyed expression visible on his dog-like face.

“Why don't you shut your trap , pretend this never happened, and walk away,” he growled as he stomped towards my direction.

He easily towered me by like three feet, But I have dealt with worse knuckleheads than these. In one swift movement I punched him in the jaw and kicked him where it hurts. He groaned in pain while the guy on the left swiftly turned and, in  a blink of an eye, was right next to me. Then there was darkness.

I woke up to find myself in a weird looking warehouse. The glass windows that I could see were tinted to be darker and it smelled mildewy from what I could tell. I tried to move but found that I was being restrained by chains. The bite of metal against my skin helped me wake up more. I struggled against the bonds with all my force. The room echoed with the sound of rattling chains.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you.” a smooth, yet dark, voice pierced the silence.

That's when a feeble, yet illuminating,  light was turned on to reveal both the guys who kicked the cat with Zane across from us. Zane was slightly paler than usual and the chains bound around him were much tighter. When he looked up he seemed dazed, as if they had drugged him or worse.

“ZANE! Did they hurt you?,”I asked before I directed my gaze to the two men.

“THEY BETTER NOT HAVE! I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DID!” I yelled baring my teeth and struggling on my bonds more.

“Tch-tch-tch, looks like we got a fighter Ross,” The guy on the left smirked as he continued “ Don't worry we haven't hurt your zaney-pie yet but we will if you don't calm down and be a good pet.”

He sauntered up to me and patted my head as I tried, vainly, to snap at his hand.

“Feisty one to, this one is definitely going to make a good pet for you Ross. I’ll take the quiet one.”He then unchained me and forced me into a leash and collar. He then forcefully tugged at the leash, cutting off my air.

“HEY! Were not animals! You can't treat us like this!” I protested as I gasped for breath and rubbed the parts of my neck that were not covered by the collar. he then  attached the same type of collar to Zane.

“We get to treat you however we want.” the other guy-Ross I think, purred?, no growled in pleasure more like, as he yanked me towards him. He was a lot rougher than the first male and by the time I could see again we were somewhere else. He led me down a hall I didn't notice before and pushed me into a room. It was a bedroom of sorts. It had a king sized bed and a desk with a laptop on top of the dusty surface. I noticed that once we entered the room Ross seemed to treat me much nicer than he did when he was with his ‘companion’. His hand loosened on the leash and his feature softened into a more mellow expression.

“You can sit on the bed if you want, pet.” he said as he, himself lowered onto its surface. The bed groaned in protest as he sat down. I was still suspicious of him and he seemed to notice it and scooted himself near the front of the bed as he tugged me towards the other far side. I gingerly sat down and  stared at him for any sign of ill intent but he seemed more kind and not as rough now that there were not any other being except for us.

I decided to get information . “So who’s your “friend”?”

“Oh him, he's not my friend; more like a jailor if you will. He seems to go by the name Geno.”

Ross’s face seemed to cloud over with anger.

“He claims to be a vampire lord and he said he needed a loyal partner. At the time I was an idiot to think that I would be treated fair by a vamp ,since I’m a werewolf, and accepted his offer.”

Were Wolves,Vampires? I gasped in disbelief at his words. How can they be real?

“W-wait they exist!?”

Ross then gave me a look that I couldn't read.

“Of course they do.”

I closed my eyes so I could wrap my head around this. Maybe they were psychopaths? Yeah that's it.But Ross seemed so sure of himself. Maybe he was psychologically tortured or something as a kid and it messed him up.

When I opened my eyes two bright yellow eyes were staring back. I wanted to look away but for some reason they seemed to keep me stuck in place. I was shocked. So supernatural creatures are real. Ok then. Normally I wouldn't quickly grasp an idea, but his eyes looked to real to be contacts.

“Are you scared of me?” Ross asked as he leaned back. His yellow eyes flicked to my own then to the ground as he prepared for my answer.

“No.” He looked up in surprise as I continued. “Let me guess. He wants you to turn me into a werewolf and he will turn Zane into a vampire.”

He looked ashamed, but he didn't deny it.

I was surprised that I guessed correctly, but it was the answer that made the most sense. The way Geno called us pets and how he looked at Zane as if he was his next 5 star meal also helped tipped me off. Ugh this sounds so stereotypical it would be funny if  it wasn't for the fact that this was Zane and I instead of some other people.

“I have already failed two other times; I have to do it or else I die…”

I was shocked. He dies if he doesn't change me?

“Geno is a horrible cruel Vamp who will kill all who become useless to him.”

That statement upset me. A lot. I know it is weird to feel sorry for your captor but ever here of stockholm syndrome?

Im kidding, just kidding! In reality what made it so that I felt sorry for him was the fact he was as much of a victim that I was in that place.

And at that exact moment Geno decided to barge in with a scared, crying, and disbelieving Zane. That shook me out of my thoughts quite quickly, as well as the jerk of the leash.

“Ross! Have you changed him yet?”

“N-no I haven't…”

“Augh you know what. Follow me.”

Geno starting pulling us towards another room. As we were tugged along I asked Zane if he was okay.

“Yeah Im okay. He tried to bite me but I was able to avoid him. He was pissed”

I sighed in pure relief when he said this. Geno then kicked opened the door to a  room and dragged me to the wall and locked my arms in chains. I then heard him do the same to Zane in another room. I also heard Zane and Geno have a scuffle before the clack of metal telling me that Zane was as locked up as I was. I strained as hard as I could against the chains, but they wouldn't budge.

Geno re-entered the room and turned to Ross.

“Are you going to turn him or what?”

“No Geno, Never!”

He sighed,“Since you wont turn your pet by yourself I guess I will have to force you.” and with that sentence Geno sealed my fate. He walked over to Ross and took out a syringe. Ross tried to fight him but Geno grabbed him and had him in a death grip. He stabbed Ross with the syringe and then with a last “See you in your new life.” to me left the room.

At that moment only one thought raced through my head.

“NOOOOOOO,” I screamed.

My head dropped as I looked towards the ground. I could hear his grunts of pain and the ripping of clothes. I tried to prie my chains off me when I heard a growl so animal like it made me freeze. I looked up to find a full grown werewolf staring right back at me.

“R-Ross?...”

He growled and the next thing I know I am out of my chains and Ross is on top of me. He was a monstrous sight. His body as a werewolf was covered in scars and his eyes made him look even more feral. His fur was all sorts of shades of grey.

“Ross! Stop it! It's me!” That seemed to snap him out of it a little bit but not much. He whined as if pleading with me to just accept my fate. At that moment I heard screaming from the other room. It was Zane. I was thrown into a animal like fury struggling to get Ross off me as I shouted threats and cuss words at Geno for hurting Zane. His screams were nerve wracking and I could almost feel the fear that he felt. Then like someone muting a TV everything went silent in the other room. Ross was still growling but had been waiting for me to stop struggling. I sobbed as I weakly struggled. My strength left me with that last struggle and my head flopped on the floor. I was to weak to do anything then swing my head to look up at Ross as he looked down at me in a hungry/sad manner. He lowered his head towards the end of my neck and seemed to sniff it,then he licked the nape of my neck. It tickled slightly. Ross then bit down. As  I felt his teeth tear through my flesh  I screamed in pain.

****

I woke up gasping for breath. where am I?Am I a werewolf now? Is Zane okay? All of these questions raced through my head. The I noticed a alarm clock and when I looked down I realized I was in a bed I recognized. I was back in my apartment and it was 12:00 and we were safe yet again. I felt at my neck to find it wrapped in bandages. I was to weak to get up so I just sat there in numb silence.

I guess I must have fallen asleep because I was back in the warehouse place watching Zane get sucked dry right in front of me as  Geno said ”see you in the next life kids.” I woke up with arms wrapped around me. I tried to get out of the grip thinking it was Geno but then Zane's voice was coming from the person holding me.

“Df, DF, DF its okay its just me.” He said in a soft voice. I stopped struggling and leaned into his embrace.

“I-I-I am so happy to see you.” I said into his stomach as he put my head in his lap.

I cried in Relief for a little as he carded his fingers through the fringe of my hair. It was so good to see him safe and sound. His hands were steady and his presence was a strong way to relieve my stress.

“How long have I been out?” I finally asked sniffling a little.

“Three weeks.”

I couldn't believe I had been out for that long. I only had two questions left.

“Are we…?” I tried to ask but it got stuck in my throat. Thankfully he seemed to get my point.

“Yes I got turned by Geno and Ross seemed to lose all humanity and turned you.”

“O-oh.”

“Yeah... But I must admit you really pull of the ears and tail.”

“W-WAIT WHAT!” I shouted as I blushed in pure embarrassment. I did not understand what he meant and tried to ask, but he raised a finger to silence me.

“Yeah... you seem to have wolf ears and a tail even when your not in a actual werewolf form. I would let you get up to see but if you did you would probably collapse. Your to weak right now.”

He then got up and left for a short period of time and then came back with a hand mirror and gave it to me.

“Here take a look!”

I looked in the mirror to see two big, fluffy, Dark gold wolf ears with blue highlights  perched on my head that twitched in curiosity as I stared at them. I was shocked. They were real! It was strange. After a little of staring in the mirror I looked back up to see Zane smirking.

“I never knew you were this narcissistic DF.” Zane teased.

I gave him a mock hurt look as I whined in annoyance. The whine sounded quite dog- like. Zane chuckled and then a strangely hungry looked flashed over his face as he suddenly stood up.

“Um-I-I have to g…”

He broke off as I spun him around to see to blood red eyes staring at me with a intense hunger. Oddly enough I wasn't really worried.

“I forgot that you were a vampire.You haven't eaten at all have you?” I asked. He didn't answer. I started to get a little nervous.

“Zane ar-” I got cut off as Zane climbed on top of me. I froze as his hair brushed my face but then it turned into one of amusement.

“Hungry much? Well….. I guess I could let you feed off of me. Maybe. But... you have to promise to take care of me until I feel better.” That seemed to break him out of his trance long enough to ask me two questions.

“Won't you get turned into a werepyre or something if I feed off of you? And second of all why didn't you at least try to stop me from trying to chomp you? I could have killed you!”

I responded with “First of all you need to eat and I know you are not comfortable with randomly drinking some strangers plasma and second of all if I remember correctly werewolf blood is technically a delicacy to vamps.”

“Really? Where did you learn that? If I remember you didn't know monsters exist until 3 weeks ago.”

“I actually had to do an essay on vampire diets for a fan-fiction convention. I am hoping they are correct so that I can appear to know a thing or two. Now will I have to force you to eat or will you man up and do it yourself.”

At that sentence Zane blushed a little. It was weird seeing him blush at such a silly sentence. His blush was also different. Instead of an extreme rosy tint it mostly made Zane look like he is actually alive.  But in a few seconds my thought completely left me as he lowered his head and licked a sensitive part of my neck.

I whimpered at the weird sensation of being licked higher on my neck than Ross did when he bit me. It made a tingle rush up and down my body. I then felt something sharp pierce my neck and I felt Zane tense a little at the smell of blood. He then lifted my head as blood pooled out of the wound. Even though it hurt I was silent. I then felt his tongue against my neck as he lapped up the deep red liquid. A weird instinct to growl welled up in my mind. As I tried to keep the sound down it escaped my throat. I  noticed something was off about this growl. I wasn't very informed on wolf growls but I knew that wolves normally growl sharper.  This growl was to muted for a normal growl, it was more of a  sort of a placated growl, no hostile. Like it was more comforting. I kept growling as I grew weaker and weaker with every lick and suck from Zane. When Zane sealed my wound I stopped growling After that both him and I just layed there. Not in discomfort or in embarrassment just in placated silence. I glanced at him and saw that he was staring at me. He then blushed beet red as he looked away.

“I am so sorry!”

“

Oh shut it already.”

He looked at me in surprise as I closed my eyes and succumbed to sleep.

****

I woke up feeling slightly shaky but much better that I had in days. I got out of bed, careful not to wake the sleeping Zane that was right next to me, and headed slowly toward our kitchen. I didn't bother to turn on any lights since I could see just fine.

I got a glass of water as I opened the fridge. My mouth watered as the smell of summer sausage assaulted my nose. I noticed that my sense of smell allowed me to smell all of the foods even if the were sealed tightly. I liked how I could maneuver throughout the dark house without bumping into anything or making a single sound.

That's when I remembered my tail and ears . It was to easy for me to forget that they were there. I watched my tail sway as I appreciated that I, we, were still alive. I then went to the bathroom and stared at my ears as they twitched on top of my head. I didn't notice that Zane was right next to me until he tapped my arm. I jumped a little and started to panic but calmed down just as fast. He had started petting my head.  It was actually quite a calming sensation.

“Sorry for scaring you. I forgot that I don’t own a reflection anymore.”

He chuckled as he continued to pet my ears. I had started doing that weird growling thing again and Zane had noticed it for the first time. He at first stopped, worried that I was about to attack him, but then he noticed my expression and decided to investigate. He went back to petting my ears but more halfheartedly. I gave him a uncomfortable look as I edged away from him and went into the living room and sat on the couch. He followed me and went back to petting my ears, this time doing a better job, after a few second the growl came back. He chuckled.

“Hey DF I think you have your own purr.”

“Really?”

I then noticed that unlike the growl I had when Zane was feeding off of me this one held a slight crooning note to it. It made me sound like I was a little pup.

“It's kinda cute.” Zane admitted as he giggled at my triggered look.

“I wonder if your werewolf form is actually just a pup… I guess we will find out tonight.”

“TONIGHT!”

My shout startled Zane, his fists were clenched and he looked like a wild animal but he still kept my gaze.  panic seized me. I couldn't believe it. Tonight was a full moon!?Zane calmed down and his expression turned into a more mellowly worried look as I started pacing.

“DF it's going to be okay. If were correct than you should just turn into a pup.”

“But what if I go full form?! What if I am a full grown were wolf instead of an innocent doe-eyed pup?! what if I attack someone?! Or I end up hurting you?!” I replied with a less intense panicked tone in my voice.

“You won't hurt anyone okay!” Zane said as he hugged me tightly. And with that we waited until the faithful moment.

****

I was feeling weird. It felt like I had a fever and a cold at the same time. Zane had led me to my room, which I thought was strange but at the time I did not question it, and I was curled up into a ball on my bed trying to go to sleep. My alarm clock showed that it was  9:30. I then felt something pop as I groaned in pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zane

As I heard Df groan in pain worry flashed through my mind. Is he going to be okay? Is my prediction going to be true? I started towards his room. I cautiously opened the door a crack as I heard small sniffs coming from the room. I then controlled my fear and pushed open the door all the way.

There he was in the middle of the room. He had jerked around so that he could see who was entering. I couldn't help but inwardly sigh in relief and sorta giggle at the sight in front of me. I was right, he was a pup. He was about the size of a golden retriever and had gold and blue swirled fur all over him. His eyes were two different colors, one yellow the other blue-grey. He gave me a tiny growl as he approached. I held perfectly still as he tried to find out if I was friend or foe. With a bark of happiness he confirmed me as a friend. I relaxed a bit as he pranced around me.

DF was quite big for a wolf but not quite big enough to be called a werewolf. I decided  to sit down on his bed and as I did so he jumped up and snuggled into my stomach like he did when he was human. I started to pet his back and he gave a pleased whimper.

We then heard my stomach growl as I wince in pain. He then jumped off the bed and started to guide me out of his room.

DF whined at me as he dragged me to the entrance to our apartment. “Woah DF no way!” I yelped as he tried to open the door “I can't just let you run down there! You would scare the heck out people!” He gave me an exasperated look as my stomach growled again, this time even louder.

As he kept glaring at me I finally realized what he was trying to relay to me.

I contemplated on how I was going to be able to eat/feed tonight. I didn't want to hurt an innocent person and DF wasn't in the right state of mind so that I could just ask him to donate. He perked up his ears as we hear some birds that our neighbors own chirped. He then looked at me again and the second thing he was trying to relay finally sunk in.

As I mulled it over the idea seemed to get better and better. But I didn’t know if animal blood would kill me or not. Then pulling a ,what I think now was, stupid move I googled “Can animal blood kill a vampire?”. It came up with a whole page stating that it didn’t kill vamps. I know that not all myths about a vampire are true but with all the people saying yes I could bet that at least one or two vampires might be one of the many writers saying that it is ok.

I then felt a wave of hunger and happiness flood over me. “Ok DF I will take us outside as long as one. You only kill squirrels and other SMALL creatures and Two. You don't try to scare people ok?”

DF gave me a cheerful bark as I opened the door to the main hall to the apartment building. Luckily enough it was late enough that no one was anywhere near the building and the forest behind it. DF ran so fast he was like a blur. I jogged so that I could be within eye and earshot of DF.

I marveled at my improved eyesight and hearing. I could hear the rustling of the trees and even sounds of the tiniest animals you could imagine. I could also see the tiny details in DF’s fur as he stood, his ears erect on his head as he listened and scented for prey.

Letting my hunger take slight control I used my new sense of smell to see if I could find any prey. DF flashed by me as he hunted a mouse that just streaked by. I wasn’t very worried. DF as a Were seemed moderately confident in his abilities. I then caught the scent of a  squirrel. My mouth suddenly watered as I imagined biting into the small body as the blood dripped into my mouth, I cringed.

Why am I thinking like this?! I stalked the squirrel into a corner. Then with a slash of claws that sprang from my nails the squirrel was dead. As blood gushed from the slash marks my mouth watered as his hunger took me over all the way. I drained the squirrel and searched for more. The blood tasted good, but not as good as DF’s I thought . I cringed a little at that thought but shook it off as he thought well I’ll have to deal with the weird thoughts from now on. By the time I was done feeding DF was back and my watch said that it was 12:00 a.m.

I then led DF back to the apartment and lifted him onto his bed. Df started to whimper in sadness as I left and I turned around and saw him looking at me with big puppy eyes. I went back over to him and brushed a twig out of his fur.

“I will be right back DF, I just have to wash my hands and take a shower then I will come back, ok?”

He whimpered again but seemed to relax as I explained. I then went into the bathroom washed my hands and turned on the shower. I scrubbed my hair and enjoyed the heat of the water. I smiled at the fact that even though all my other senses were improved, my ability to soak up and feel heat was still the same.  

I got out and went into my room and got dressed into my galaxy shirt and black shorts. I went back to DFs room to see him waiting for me. He seemed to smile as he pulled his lips up to show a row of teeth so sharp it looked like it could rip through steel.

I then Turned on his TV as I got on his bed. He crawled towards me and snuggled into my stomach. I  watched Voltron and did some research as I fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DF

I woke up to a very warm something under me and Pidge screaming at something. I looked up to find Zane sleeping in his galaxy shirt and petting my back. I then looked towards the TV to find Voltron playing. I got up to see that I was butt naked and got into a new set of clothes.

It consisted of my favorite “Potato Life” shirt and black jeans. I was slightly embarrassed at waking up in my birthday suit, but was more concerned about what happened last night.

I did not want to wake Zane up though, since he looked so peaceful sleeping there, so I went down stairs with my phone and headphones and made myself breakfast while the music drifted out of the head phones and into the room. I felt silly for picking the headphones up since I didn't have the ears for it but I thought it would be a good idea to use them to make it so then I don't wake Zane . When I thought about Zane I had this happy feeling that kept washing over me.

The song put me in a good mood as I finished making a stack of pancakes for Zane and I. I sat down and started to eat as Zane shuffled through the kitchen. I giggled at his dazed look as his neck snapped towards me. He smiled tiredly as he shuffled quickly toward the table and sat down and scarfed down the pancakes I put on his plate.

(in this universe vampire can eat normal food as well as blood but they can only survive if the drink blood so Zanes just eating them for the flavor and to appear normal.) He looked happy to see me .

“So how was the transformation?” I asked nervously.

His reply was slow, since his mouth was stuffed with the tasty meal, but he swallowed and finally answered with, “It was actually really fun and interesting. You were not  actually  the were-pup that I thought you would look like; you looked like a wolf. There was the fact I to feed on a squirrel but I got over it. You also snuggled with me.”

I at another bite of my pancakes as I relaxed. I didn't go full werewolf so I am fine from now on. It was interesting hearing him narrate the story on our hunting trip and I smiled at how he kept over thinking things.

Zane continued “ I  have done some research on a few things for your werewolf since you now have a few extra perks and instincts.”

“What do you mean?” I asked slightly confused.

Zane pulled out his phone and opened something I couldn't see and read/paraphrased something out loud.

“Well the problem is that your werewolf form is about the age where it is going through “ wolf puberty,”

I went beet red when he said puberty. I know its a  childish reaction but I didn't want one of the many “Talks”. He noticed this and rolled his eyes.

“Anyways that means that you will get more defensive and easily provoked during this period of time. Especially to those you care deeply for. You will also become extremely snuggly,clingy, and kind to either your mate if you have one, which you don't, or in some cases you can get attached to a certain person, no matter what species, who becomes sort of  your interspecies mate/companion. They are the most important when it comes to your transformation because they are the only ones who can understand and control you in that form.” Zane read.

We had been walking into our living room and had just sat on the couch when he said that. I tensed a little and he petted my ears to calm me down. We sat down on the couch as he rubbed behind my ears as my happy growl rumbled around the room. I had this feeling I couldn't describe and  I suddenly found myself in his lap licking his neck as he giggles. I wanted to stop but my instinct told me to continue. I nuzzled deeper into his neck and kept licking a certain spot. He let out a huff of air and I came back from what I thought at the time was  my affectionate puppy trance.

I looked at his face and it was covered with a deep blush and he was huffing quite a bit. I blushed a deep red as I apologized for my actions. While I stuttered he grabbed my hands and pulled me into a hug.

“Its okay, I knew you didn't have control over your actions and my neck is really sensitive there ever since Geno bit me”

He wasn't huffing anymore and was smiling softly. I felt a bitter feeling well up when he talked about Geno biting him. I then realized that I was imagining replacing Geno’s with my own bite.

I internally smacked myself for thinking like that. As I scolded myself I realized that I had been snuggling into Zane. It actually felt comfortable.

We cuddled  all morning and afternoon as we watched our favorite shows on Netflix.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zane

I had noticed the DF had gotten weird this morning. It was quite weird being licked by him. The cuddling was actually nice  though. even though we are both guys and not dating.

I decided to slip away when he fell asleep. I noticed that his ears and tail were still out and they curled a bit in his sleep. It was kinda cute. I headed towards my room and went online. I had quit from my old job because I couldn't do the day shift any more and all the night shifts were taken so I decided to see what online jobs I could do. I have a Bachelors in computer programing/editing and knew of a few youtubers who needed a new editor.

Jacksepticeye had posted a video saying he needed a new editor and  I decided to send an email with a few references and my resume to him  hoping he would be Ok with a out of country editor since he also had Robin/Pixlpit. I  was now waiting for a response.

I had found out that I still appear in photos and video, just not in mirrors, since I had to take a selfie IRL  for jack.

I thought it was slightly funny but was relieved. I heard the familiar tone of a new email and opened up my email. I couldn't believe it. He had accepted!! He even sent me my first video to edit and his phone number so I could call him to talk about details and such. I fanboyed for a few minutes and then went to work.

****

I had just finished it and sent the edited version back to him. It was 12 Am here and 7:00 their so I plugged his number into my phone and shot him a text.

Fangy boi: umm hello?

Septiceye BOSS: Hey! Its Zane right?

Fangy Boi: yeah… so did I do well?

Septiceye BOSS: You did great editing!! I liked all the references you conveniently placed. Anyways I need to tell you something important.

Fangy Boi: What?

Septiceye BOSS: So something happened to Merk and he called me and asked me to come to the merica’s to help him out with it. Since you live in L.A and he

does as well I thought I could come and meet you if I have time.

Fangy Boi: RLLY!! Umm I will have to ask my flat- I mean roommate first but he will probably say yes.

Septiceye Boss: k.

I couldn't believe it. He was coming to LA!! I was fanboying a little more as DF slipped into my room. He looked like he just woke up. He walked over to me and laid his head on my shoulder as he blearily  read my texts. His ears were still curled and his pupils were blown quite wide from sleep. He made a rumbling sound from his chest and I found myself answering with my own.

“You work for Jacksepticeye?”

“Yeah…?”

“And you do realize that he wants us to meet him?”

“Yeah…?”

“You know we will have to make up an excuse for my ears and tail right?”

I pondered for a few seconds,“We could always buy you a hat to wear to hide them and you could tuck your tail into your shirt until you learn to control you shifting in and out of wolf.”

DF grin was so bright I felt like I could melt from it,“Zane you are a genius. OK he can come as long as you keep my ears hidden and you eat enough so that you do not try to suck him dry.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DF

I had been wondering about what problem THE Markiplier was having that required THE Jacksepticeye to come to america for. I also was proud of Zane for getting the editing job.

I kept cooing praise at him when we hang out. My instincts has quieted down ever since last week. I was happy that nothing awkward happened between us. I like Zane and I didnt want to hurt our friendship that way.

He has been recently using his new powers of speed that he discovered to get himself a blood supply. He refrained from killing and used his speed to steal blood bags from a hospital. I joke about his new mini blood drive fridge that he has now and he is always joking around about my wolf instincts.

He said that he is also able to withstand sunlight if he eats a certain mineral. It was funny to imagine him eating a jem like a dragon.

Zane and I were on the couch, me laying my head on his lap, when he received a text. It was Jack. As Zane read the text his expression became worried.

“What's wrong Zane?”

“Jack says that if I can I need to head over to Marks house as quick as I can. Even through text he seems anxious.”

I got up and went to go get my shoes on.

“Where are you going?!”

“Arnt we going to go see him?”

Recently my parents bought me a car for a present since I had been doing well in school and also doing well financially so I grabbed the keys, my license, and my wallet and headed down the stairs to the car. Before that I had put on a beanie that had a slightly pointed ears and had stuffed my tail into my pants. It was slightly uncomfortable but was tolerable.

As I drove through the L.A streets Zane gave me directions to Marks house. When we got there we saw Jack standing in the driveway. He was paler than usual and was in his huge PMA hoodie even though it was hot outside. In a weird way he sort of mirrored Zane, who wore clothes that covered his skin from the sun. As we got out of the car Jack waved and smiled tiredly.

“Hello Zane, I am guessing this young man to your left is DF?” Jack spoke quieter than he does in his videos and that made me slightly nervous.

I

n many of his videos he does say he is quieter in real life, but he said he still quite a bit louder then everyone else. I nodded at his question and stuck out my hand to give him a hand-shake. He returned it. On his arm under a bunch of bracelets I saw a bandage. He didn't seem to notice me staring as he shook Zanes hand.

“So Jack, what's wrong?” Zane inquired. “Your texts made it sound quite serious.”

Jack Nervously rubbed the arm that had the bandage on it.

“First come in. I don't feel like talking out here.”

Zane and I nodded and we entered the house. It was really dark and smelled like dog and something else that I couldn't place. With my werewolf sense of smell I finally identified it as the smell of blood. Zane could smell it to by the way he looked. In front of us I could here Jack taking deep breaths in and out and slightly huffing. We shared a confused look but continued following Jack all the way to what seemed like the living room.

The living room had really comfy couches and a big flat screen TV. Chica, Mark’s dog, bounded towards us to say hello. When she smelled me she barked and I saw her tail was wagging extra hard. Jack stared at me as I bent down and petted her soft fur. Chica licked my face and neck and nuzzled my shoulder. It sort of reminded me of how I acted earlier that week, Licking Zane, except it was much more quick and seemed more “hello friend!” like then how it was with Zane.

Zane chuckled as he watched me get attention from Chica and then asked again, “So what's up Jack? What's the problem?”

Jack sighed then said “So you may not believe this but, about a week ago Merk and I were walking home after going on a walk around LA when we got stopped by this man and what appeared to be his pet dog. He asked us if we could help him get directions to a certain location. As Merk and I were looking it up on his phone the guy grabbed me and sicked his dog on Merk. Then the guy bit me on the arm! I passed out from the pain and woke up here. At first I thought it was all a dream and went to the bathroom to look in the mirror. When I looked up my reflection was gone! I ran out of the room to find Merk. When I entered his room instead of finding Merk I found a WereWolf! That's when I realized Merk and I had been bitten by a WereWolf and I a Vampire,” He finished slowly and looked down, I am guessing to prepare for our rebuttals of disbelief.

Zane and I stood there in shock. They got turned as well! I looked at Zane and conveyed with my eyes should we tell him? Zane nodded.

I spoke up “Jack… about four weeks ago Zane and I got turned into vampire and werewolf ourselves.”

Jacks head shot up in disbelief.

“Re-ealy?!”

I nodded my head. And to give him proof I took off my hat and pulled my tail out of my pants. Chica barked excitedly and started bouncing around inviting me to play as she realized that I was finnally showing my full self. It seemed as though she branded me as her kin, and in a way, I technically am. Jack stared at my ears and tail in awe as they twitched.

Zane, with a weird expression on his face,  then asked “Where is Mark, Jack?”

Jack looked towards him and beckoned us to follow.

He led us down a hall with Chica in the lead.She had decided that She was going to lead, not Jack. She seemed to bounce with every step towards where Mark was, as if she were excited to show us her master and our new friend. Jack then stopped in front of what looked like a door to a bedroom. He quietly knocked on the door and after hearing a response, entered the room.

There in the middle of the room lying on the bed was a fully grown werewolf. Its fur was a chocolatey brown and had a reddish hue that only anyone with a supernatural sense of sight could see. Chica ran up to the bed and made a boofing sound. The werewolf looked up at chica and gave a pleased grumble as he licked here head in greeting. It then looked up at the others and cocked its head to the side in curiosity. I then stepped up and held out my hand. The Were first sniffed my hand and then shook it with its paw. The others gasped in surprise.

“Merk! I didn't know you were fully in there!”  Jack said in surprise. Mark looked up,  rolled his eyes at Jack, and went back to sniffing me.

“ Anyways,as you can see Mark is still a werewolf…”

I looked at mark in confusion.

“How?”

Mark didn't answer and seem busy trying to identify the others from a distance.

Jack decided to  answer for him.

“I think it was because his transformation took multiple hours. He was trying to fight it and did not try to except it. It must've affected his transformation.”

I frowned.

“That doesn't sound good. My transformation from what Zane said to 30 minutes. I guess accepting the transformation must make it go quickly.” I said. Mark was getting off the bed and when he stood up he towered the three of us. He looked a lot more friendly then Ross did as a werewolf, but instead of being an actual wolf like I was he was a bipedal combo of a wolf and human.

Jack furrowed his brows.

“So somehow accepting your wolf side allows you to change faster and not feel a lot of pain? But if accepting it only lets you be in your form for the short amount of time is it also a bad thing…?”

Jack trailed off a little and then turned to talk to Zane. Chica and Mark both were sniffing around and then they turned to each other and seemed to have a mental conversation. They both were staring at each other and occasionally Mark would nod his head or make a tiny noise. The two creatures seemed to have a connection that allows them to communicate on another level.  

I was pretending to watch Zane and Jack mull over the issue but I actually was watching them. Ever since I got here I have felt a subconscious pull towards them. My Were-Cub side seemed perk up a lot when I was around them. I have decided that I should title my other side my ‘Were-cub’ side since it was more of another conscience as well as new instincts that I have to adjust to.  It was weird  finally noticing that I had two sets of instincts. I had also been feeling quite warm as well as the fact I was more sensitive to scents. Everyone's scents in here were relaxing and calming, especially Zanes.

As I thought about it more I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of Mark and Chica barking quietly to get my attention. I noticed Marks bark was a lot deeper than Chicas and sounded like a really friendly, bigger, breed of dog instead of a wolf. I turned to see them motioning to follow them out of the room. My Were-cub side’s instinct made me even more curious to follow.

As I followed them to the living room I  giggled at what Chica was doing.

She seemed to be trying to look intimidating, growling and raising her lip over her teeth,  but her adorable nature made it look more like she was about to lick someone to death. Mark looked amused for the moment and then he crouched down and growled back. Chica then pounced on Mark and the play-fight began.

I noticed that Mark was very gentle, and when Chica pounced on him  he just rolled her off carefully. They then turned and started play fighting with me. I was slightly slower then they were, but I still put up a good “fight”. He and Chica would carefully jump on their opponents and to attack they just batted each other with either paws, Marks case, or their head, Chicas case. When we were done we collapsed into a big pile. I was smiling quite derp-like and my Were-cub side was filling me extreme happiness.

I guess in a way it was satisfied with the fact that I was willing to follow its instinct.

I also felt as if someone had place me on a fluffy cloud in the middle of the most peaceful place they could find. There was another emotion/feeling that I had but I couldn't identify it and even though I was slightly worried about it I was to out of it to care.

I did feel a bit warmer then before but I dismissed it again, especially since I just did something quite strenuous.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zane

Jack and I talked as we walked down the hall. He and I had been talking about what each of us learned and I found out that Jack had fed on Mark instead of looking for food. He then said that after that he felt to guilty and decided not to take anymore. I offered him some blood bags and he accepted them gratefully.

I was not paying attention  to where we were going and when Jack stopped I sort of ran into him. I then looked up to see what was up and stood there in shock.

There DF was, in the middle of the dog-pile, smiling like a four-year-old that had gotten his first dog. It was quite adorable to see him so happy and I felt my chest bloom with an emotion I couldn't exactly fully identify. It was a mix of joy and… affection but as well as something that made me want to fight anyone who tried to hurt him? I was confused but I did not stop the feeling. I felt in that moment I was two beings in that moment. One that was sane and just like me while the other a primal, savage,  beast.

After a moment I realized Jack was giggling and as Jack headed over to Mark and Chica, I headed over to DF.

“Hey~” DF said in a voice that seemed a bit deeper than normal.

I noticed that unlike the usual both blue eyes he normally had was replaced with the one bright whitish-yellow eye and one a deeper in color grey-blue.

I smiled and replied with “Hello to you to~” in the deepest voice I could make. For a second I thought DF’s pupils had grown  bigger at that,  but in the next second I found that he had pulled me to the ground next to him.

I snorted and started petting his head. His purr growl came back at this and he cuddled up to me. I am actually taller than DF by 6 inches so it made cuddling with him quite easy. Chica came over and boofed at me in a friendly way. She the licked my face once, making me scrunch up my nose, and walked away.

I heard Jack and, I think Mark, chuckle and I looked up.

There Jack and Mark stood, It appeared that Mark was grinning in a dog-ish way and Jack was giving a knowing smile. Mark was still in his full werewolf form and I saw that Jack stood quite close to him. Mark then started to come over to help us up. I felt an emotion well up in me and I acted upon it.

I hissed at them

It was not an innocent kitty-angry hiss it was a dangerous-animal-will-attack-you hiss. The sound startled

both of them and they stepped back a little.

I then stood up, carrying DF, and protectively  wrapped my arms around him as I then started to run. I was feeling that savage burn to protect that I didn't question what I was doing.

Mark and Jack called for me to stop but I as they did I felt the weird emotion take full control and the next thing I knew I was carrying DF to his bedroom and then nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DF

I felt pure bliss.

I felt like I was high on happiness, I felt so good. I felt dopey, puppy like, and safe in Zane’s arms.

I couldn't understand what was happening and it seemed like my comprehension skills went out the window. I felt myself be lifted off the ground and the next thing I knew, we were back home.

I felt myself lower onto a surface that I finally identified as my bed and I snuggled into its plush surface. I had my vision back so I looked towards Zane. I saw that his eyes were bright crimson instead of his normal brown.

I felt a weird bark well up in my throat and I released it. From what Zane says later it was a mix between a whimper and a sort of chirp in a way. Zane also told me about how he couldn't seem to remember actually hearing it.  Zanes head whipped to me and he walked towards me. He did not say anything but he started to pet my head again. As he did so I fell into the clutches of slumber.

****

I woke up to find myself wrapped in Zanes arms and licking his neck again. I groaned and sat up.

I looked over to Zane to find that his appearance had changed. His hair was slightly longer,  and I could see that black had been mixed with the reds of his hair. His nails were longer as well as sharper. The biggest change was the fact that he had leathery bat wings that stretched out and draped over the bed. I noticed that one of the wings was covering me like a blanket and I stroked it. The wing was soft and felt quite thick. I still felt out of it and the Were-cub instincts were still running strong so I leaned back into the bed and snuggled into the wing.

I couldn't understand what happened.

I had been feeling weird ever since the play fight with Chica and Mark and when Zane picked me up it was if I got dunked in pure happiness. But imagine if that pure happiness, after the fact, feels fake and creepy instead of normal and nice.

I was overwhelmed with fear in that moment and a whimper escaped my throat. It sounded like a wounded animal and I felt my Were-cub sides influence so strongly right now that it hurt.

Zane stirred and then, with what was probably, great difficulty on his part, turned to face me. His eyes were a bright crimson and his gaze felt more animalistic then human. He lifted his hand and brushed a piece of my hair out of my face as he made a weird cooing noise.

I felt relief wash over me and then I found myself cuddled up into Zanes side, and I nuzzled the flesh that was in front of my face. As I did so, I could smell a nice aroma come from him. It was calming and made me feel like he could protect me from anything. Feeling  my Were-cubs conscious meld with my own calmed me even more and my mind was filled with only one thought.

Mate.

I fell asleep with that thought strong in my mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zane

I woke up to DF rubbing himself up against me.

I was slightly groggy since I had just woken up but I still was awake enough to realize two things.

One, DF was extremely sweaty and that sweat left sticky feeling against me.

And two, he was mumbling the word mate in his sleep.

I then noticed that he was wrapped up in bat wings. I went to scramble away when I realized that they were mine. I stared in shock. The bat wings twitched with the shaking of my body and that's when I noticed that the tiny fur on them swirled in a pattern. Brown,black, and grey swirled together to make the most beautiful wings you could ever see.

As I shook myself out of my trance I transfered my sight to DF. He was nuzzling his sweaty body up to mine and I noticed that he kept nipping at air. It was then that I  was hit with a powerful scent.

It was beautiful in a way. The smell of cherry blossoms and smoke assaulted My nose. I was quite surprised that two drastically different scents could come together to smell so divine.

I knew in that moment what DF was….

My Mate.

And I knew what I had to do now…

Take care of my Mate.

****

[welcometoyournewhell]

A Loving Family

Domestic Klance family tickles! Contains and oc.. you’ve been warned. 

It was late into the night. A rather large room was dimly lit by two side table lamps and the flicker of the television. A brown couch that sat in the room was inhabited by two men. Lance McClain sat lazily against the arm of the couch, his husband Keith cuddled up next to him wearing a blanket as a cloak. "But my king, what am I to do," Keith rolled his eyes, burying his face deeper into Lance's stomach. "What, you dont like this," the other asked. Keith looked up, chin resting on the soft surface. "Lance you know what I like," Lance smiled a bit. "Yeah... I know. But none of your shows were on tonight," Keith closed his eyes. "But this isn’t even one of your shows," He argued looking at the screen. Lance shrugged, " The title looked cool enough, thought we could give it a chance." Keith laid his head back down, wrapping the blanket tighter to his body. "Can we just go to bed," he asked. Lance pet along the top of Keith's blanket covered head. "No kitty, we don't get to bond often," Lance chose his words carefully. Well one word anyway, Keith was a sucker for bonding. Keith huffed before looking up. "Can you change the channel at least," Lance sighed. "Yeah sure, what so you want," Keith shrugged before getting onto his knees. "Anything but this garbage," Lance pouted as Keith shed his warm, thick, cloak. "Wait where are you going," he asked as Keith started to walk away.

"To the bathroom and to check on Jerome real quick," out if all the names in the world Lance had to choose Jerome. Not that it was a bad name, no not at all. Keith rather liked, it was old. But he felt that Jerome should have been named something like Kevin or something, he didn’t look like a Kevin though. Standing up he started he journey. Lance looked boredly at the tv as he flicked through the channels, until something caught his eye. Not touching the remote again, he watched the bright colors of the cartoon. It had been one he used to watch as a kid, he was surprised it was still airing, it had to be older than his sister. "Really Lance," Keith had finished his mission. "A kids cartoon," he asked skeptically. "Yeah. I used to watch this as a kid," he was now sitting up facing the tv. Keith looked at the screen once more before shaking his head. It was like being married to a damn child half the time. Sitting down he wrapped his blanket around his body. "It's literally just this animal thing that gets into trouble each episode," Keith curled up against Lance studying the pictures on the screen. "It’s rather creepy," Lance scoffed offendly. "How dare you! It’s a classic from the early 90's," Keith rolled his eyes. "Uh huh," he kisses Lance on the cheek before situating back in his spot. " All is forgiven," Keith snorted a bit at the comment. Watching the tv an idea hit Lance as the mad doctor had captured the animal like creature. He had him tied down and a large saw was about to cut him open. Only it didn’t, it tickled. He was laughing and crying his head off...rather creepily. Lance smirked, his hand resting on Keith's side. " Besides don't you like creepy? You watch those damn cop shows where they go over how some died," Keith shrugged. "Depends," he jumped slightly when a ticklish sensation spread through his side. "Lance stop," he warned nuzzling his head into the other's side.

"H-Hey! Kehehith," Keith smirked. "Dont tickle me and I wont tickle you," Lance blushed. How did he know that was on purpose? "I don’t think so Keithyboy," Keith was pushed back into the couch giggling as ten fingers descended onto his firm tummy. "Ehhhehehhe! Lhahahance stop it," He was now cold. "Leheheht mhehehe ghahahaoooooo," Lance grinned evilly before moving to his husbands sides.”Aw can my big, bad hubbie not take a few tickles,” Lance teased earning a blush from Keith. “Or does my kitty love to be tickled,” he asked, smirking when Keith’s blush increased. “S-Shhuhhahaht up,” he giggled trying to push Lance’s hands off him. “Ah, ah, ah. I don’t think so,” he said dodging the hands while still tickling every area available on Keith’s body. “Coochie, coochie, coo,” Keith thre his head back and screamed when Lance hit his under arms. “N-Nhat therhehehere! L-Lahahance sthahp thehehasing,” Lance new he was making the sensation worse for his poor hostage but… he really didn’t care. This was simply adorable! Keith snorted and squeaked each time he’d switch tickling tactics. Even with his arms pinned to his side lance could still maneuver enough motion to keep the half galra mad.

A small boy tossed and turned on a rather large mattress. Little noises of discomfort escaping his mouth as he slept. This gained the attention of a certain wolf who looked over from his side of the bed. As another whimper escaped the small boy Kosmo brought his head closer in an attempt to comfort him through nuzzling. It almost worked… until a scream rang out through the house, probably loud enough for Kultinecker to hear from his little barn outside. Kosmo was on high alert, climbing on top of Jerome who jumped from the sound. Another scream rang out, it didn’t sound painful but it sounded like his Keith. Jumping off the bed Kosmo sprinted down the stairs before a flash of light indicated he teleported. Jerome looked around the dark room, his little cow night light doing little to fight of his fears of what could be in the dark. The noise from downstairs wasn’t stopping and he was growing more and more scared, he no longer had his friend to protect him.

He could call for his daddy or papi but what if that was them screaming? Who was screaming? Was there someone in the house? Flashbacks from his nightmare came rushing up. He let out a yelp and held his stuffed elephant tight, eyes squeezed shut at the thought. “No Lance! Get away from-- EEE,” he heard by his door. The sound of heavy footsteps pounding about mixed with his parents yells did little to calm him. Looking over at his little alarm clock he noticed it was pretty late. Well late for him. It was eleven thirty at night. Mustering up his courage Jerome took his elephant and baby blanket and tentatively made his way out of his room. “Dada,” he called softly. He waited a minute before continuing to walk. “Papi,” he tried again still walking. When he made it to the stairs he could hear the sound a bit better, it was laughter. Confused but still scared the four year old made his way slowly down the stairs. Upon reaching the living room he was met with the look of annoyance by Kosmo, who was just laying on the dining room part of the connected rooms’ floor.

Looking over he saw his papi sitting on the back of his dad’s calves tickling his bare thighs. “L-Lhahahheheance sthahahp,: Keith giggled hysterically. His eyes were watering from tears. He had escaped before, why didn’t he make a better break for it? Why didn’t he fight back? Questions he asked himself before Lance managed to pin him back to the couch. He jerked his head up when Lance started tickling his inner thighs. “AhA! Not thehehere,” he bucked a bit before slamming his face into the couch cushion below them. “Aw I’m sorry, does this tickle,” Lance asked with a fake sympathetic voice. “L-Lahahance seriously! Nahahaha! E-Ehahase up a bit plhehehase,” Keith did love bonding moments like this, especially when they involve physical contact but there was only so much one man could take. “Alright, alright,” Lance stopped, both still oblivious to the child in the room. “Heh… heheh…. You suck,” Keith could feel the smirk on Lance’s lips. “And you--,” Keith cut him off. “Don’t. Idiot, let me up,” he asked. Wel rather demanded.

“Why would I do that sweetheart, kitty, princess, Keithyboy, mullet, love of my life,” wow he knew how to get Keith flustered. “Because you love me and have tormented me enough for one night,” the small Cuban boy wanted to say something but it was late and he was still tired, the sense of fear leaving. He stood on the tile by Kosmo just watching in a zombie like daze. “It’s not torment when you looooovvveee it,” Lance giggled wiggling one finger on each side of Keith’s sides. “Ahahaheheh! Ah-- Lahahnce,” Keith giggled softly. Stopping Lance stood up before rolling his husband over. During the flip Keith noticed the boy standing in the room and nearly jumped. He loved his son but the kid could freak him out and starel him sometimes. “Jerome help me,” he cried out as a last resort. Lance looked over his shoulder and noticed the small boy standing with his blanket pressed to his nose. “Oh shoot, did we wake you,” Jerome nodded a little.

Lance frowned before looking at Keith who was watching him with fearful eyes. A smirk played on his face. “No Lance d-d-- aha,” Keith bucked when Lance dove back into his armpits. “EHhahahahaha! N-Not thehehre! Not theheheree! Bhahaby help me,” Keith laughed helplessly kicking his legs as Lance straddled his waist. Jerome observed the scene in front of him. The idea seeming both like a game which excited his small mind, but also he was tired and … eh just blanked out. “N-No! Lhaha-- ahahaha,” Keith had given up as Lance lifted his arms over his head and began blowing raspberries on the clothed area. Jerome walked forward slowly before tugging gently on his papi’s shirt. Nose still to blanket he looked up with big blue eyes. Lance stopped and smirked down at his son. “You shouldn’t have done that Jerome,” he said crawling off of Keith. Jerome giggled groggily, moving backwards slowly. Kosmo was on high guard, this was a pup. A pup he had claimed. You harm his pup, you die.

Keith was giggling still on the couch, a hand over his face. Looking over he smiled, well with intention, at the sight before him. “Cause now… the tickle monster… is gonne eat you,” he yelled before grabbing ahold of the shrieking child Kosmo stood up but Keith clapped his hands gaining his attention. Lance stopped before looking over his shoulder, a wave of nervousness hit him. “He’s not hurting him,” Keith assured. The space wolf retreated back to his spot on the cool tile before Lance looked at Keith. Keith just glared at him before his attention returned to Jerome. “Any way, as I was saying….  The tickle monster has you now little boy,” Lance let out and evil laugh before placing the the dark haired child on the floor and tickling his tummy. Jerome squealed and kicked his legs out of reflex, his blankey and elephant lost in the battle. Small pudgy hands attempted to grab aged, but young, semi- chubby hands. “Rawr,” Lance hoolard bring his head down and lifting the large t-shirt. “I’m gonna eat you up little boy,” Jerome shook his head before suddenly bursting into a fit of loud laughter. Keith rolled his eyes, finally breathing normally again. It was time he joined in. “No one eats my baby,” he yelled over the child’s shrill screams.

Lance jumped when Keith’s fingers found his sides. “Ahaha! K-Keieith,” he giggled stopping his attack. Jerome giggled still despite the tickling stopping. “I think the tickle monster needs a taste of his own medicine, huh,” Keith asked smiling mischievously at the four year old. Jerome shared the same look before crawling onto his papi’s mostly crossed legs. “O-Oh nohohohhahaha,” Lance there his head back as Jerome started moving his small pudgy fingers along his tummy. Keith liked wearing Lance’s old shirts to bed along with boxer briefs. Jerome wore Keith’s old shirts from before he and his mom lied on the space whale for two years and typically just wore his underwear. During winter though Keith’s made him wear pants. Lance prefered to sleep in not just a long sleeve and pants but a robe… which stopped after the first night he tried to sleep with Keith like that. Too much heat, no cuddles, sad Lance, cranky Keith. However tonight he had on a thin t-shirt, and sleeping shorts, neither of which were doing him any good.

He jumped when Keith started poking under his arms. “N-Nnahahahat thahaht,” he shook his head. “Get ‘em daddy, get ‘em,” the small boy giggled just watching his parents now. He moved of his father’s lap as it was becoming unstable from his reactions to pull away. “Not this? Okay… how about,” Keith quickly grabbed Lance’s exposed ankle, pinning it down he started scribling along the soft soles. “S-Shhhhahahahahaha! K-Keieiehahahahahahaththheheh, nhot thheheheret! Nhohtoht thehehere” he cried desperately. Dark brown locks lay scattered on the tan, wooly carpet as he fell over. “Should have thought about that before trying to make a snack of my baby,” Keith teased  scratching under the ball’s of Lance’s foot. A mole his a very ticklish spot Keith knew all too well. “C-Chohohjmehehe on! I- Didhahahah! I didn’t thhahhahahickle yhohour fheheht,” he rsquirmed trying to dislodge his foot from his husband’s hands.

Jerome smiled in amusement, holding his elephant close. Keith smirked, “Jerome, does Ellie think we should let pa-- I mean the tickle monster go,” Jerome thought for a moment before looking at his giggling father. He nodded. Keith immediately stopped, dramatically pulling his hands away. “You two,” Lance panted. “Are evil,” Keith glared. “Says the one who tickled me for like an hour straight in all my worst spots. You only lasted about ten minutes,” Lance sat up in defense. “I did not get all your worst spots, but I can if you’d like,” Keith pulled his feet away leaning back. “Don’t you dare,” they weren’t truly fighting per say, but it was close enough to Jerome. He frowned and covered his ears, what he would normally do when the two fought. Keith and Lance both hated it but sometimes discussing feelings and topics weren’t easy. But it would normally stop because Keith would typically start crying because he hates upsetting Lance, and even more so their child… and he actually doesn’t take being yelled at very well. The fights don’t last long unless Keith’s still yelling through his tears but then much family cuddles and typically movie night happen.

Keith noticed the sudden movement and pushed his foot in to the irritated Cuban’s stomach. Moving his head to the side Lance followed the direction and stopped. Looking back at Keith he sighed before standing up and walking to the small boy. “Hey, pumpkin,” Lance said pulling the boy into his lap. Jerome peeked out one of his eyes before uncovering his ears. He really didn’t like loud noises, and not that his parents truly fought a lot just Keith sounded scary when he was mad, they both did. It wasn’t toxic either, just normal, verbal fights. “We’re not fighting,” Keith said joining them. Sitting down he pushed some of the dark strands of hair out of the small tan face. “No we’re just trying to prove daddy’s a ball of tickles,” Jerome giggled a bit at the statement. Lance would pay for that latter. “There’s that laugh,” Keith said in a sickly sweet voice before grabbing one of the little socked feet and tickling it. Jerome shrieked with laughter and fell against his papi. Lance smiled, he loved nights like this.

[perispinel]

Adventure Time Finale Liveblog

Already this episode is off to a weird start, starting with a flashforward in the future with two random one-off characters and- OH MY GOSH THEY FOUND FINN’S ARM AND THEY LIVE IN MARCELINE’S HOUSE NOW!

Did Finn like die? THis has to be a fakeout about this.

King of Ooo is alive far int he future? he melted in the fire as wax remember writers? 

Oh my gosh this is why they showed the Enchiridion episode last, Mount Kragdor is back!

the king of Ooo is BMO! Wait why does he have PB’s crown... oh my god BMO outlived everybody. he is unfazed by death

BMO is kickin’ em out already, what a savage

That arm is giving BMO some flashbacks. Awww adorable!

Heh after so long BMO is having trouble remembering Finn’s name.

The plot description said NEPTR was telling the story, they faked us out totally!

Finally, more Betty! 

Finally, more Maja!

Looking at Finn is like “you die eventually. BMO has your arm now.”

Having BMO narrate the whole story makes it sound like a five year old trying to describe World War II. 

Finally Duke of Nuts, my favorite character!

Literally no one likes him, he wants to be MacGyver

Justin Roiland has work while R n M is off

Princess Bubblegum is going the Leia route of going from Princess to General

Oh no a little cake spy.

Huntress Wizard, played by Mona Lisa from Parks and Rec, did a good job getting rid of that sky

Come along with me, it is time for war you seeeee

Marceline and PB better makeout RIGHT NOW Marceline, yes, please reconsider PB Oh geez Marceline is just casually like “I saw people die PB.” Marceline be like “I felt worse” all over us

Finn is right.

W-what? Finn whatcha goin on about with nightmares? I thought he was gonna break the fourth wall

I love when a war begins with someone repeating “WAR” over and over

Yep yep there goes the banana guards. What a great plan

“You’re weird” isn’t what I’d say honestly

He doesn’t know what fruit is apparently

Lemongrab is totally piiiiiissed... Oh he’s just sad.

Gumbald literally is backing UP because of them being serious Finny boy

Hey Fern, remember when I accidentally killed ya? Good times boi

“You’re a toddler” is the cue for “I kill you or you give up”

What a great time for a commercial break. 

Okay, time for my thoughts in-between the show: this is giving me crazy feelings. Like, knowing BMO outlives everyone, regardless of the war’s outcome... wait, BMO said Finn was heroic til the end right? Oh my gosh will Finn sacrifice himself? Well either way BMO probably SAW him die, old age or not. BMO is literally the imbodement of a child who doesn’t understand the consequences of anything. Back to the show!

Nice job making me almost sad BMO.

Unconscious world? That’s crazy man.

So no war? Aiight.

Finn was all like “go to dreamworld and talk things out” and they be like “let’s have a war again”

Ooh cool, let’s get those songs for the album here

Jake is going back to his roots

Ooh let’s get Tom Sharpling up in this guys

Aww poor Fern. 

PB isn’t reluctant at all to kill someone even if they look like Finn, as long as they be an enemy. 

Oh sweet evolution Fern! 

Fern is going the toddler solution, that’s fine.

Okay Greg from Steven Universe, enjoy your appearance while it lasts.

Is John DiMaggio spending the episode in a dream state?

Pinching people in the dreamworld really wakes you up? That’s dope.

W-what? why’d they just vibrate

Fern does sound like a knockoff Finn sometimes honestly. Heh prove you’re tormented Finn! 

Oh geez this is really dark, PB had a messup life. Recreating that scene for some symbolism I suppose!

Ooh subconscious world!

Aww his girlfriend is here- I wish I spoke korean.

It’s nice his kids- oh nevermind. 

Is this symbolism for him being connected to his wife like by the sides?

Hahah we got a fart joke everyone, wrap it up! Just kiddin I don’t care either way

I bet Pb is learning what it was like living as a completely unintelligent being without any choice. Will this cause some empathy?

Yeah repressed memories must smell awful.

Obviously Fern and Finn share the same memories, but it’s cool to see them confront it Mindful Education-style

I missed Adventure Time’s art style honestly. 

Oh I get it, Fern originated from the Finnsword.

Oh wow, all of that took place in the span of one second!

PB and Gumbald are learning empathy now, are we not having a war or?

“No no no that happened next.” Good job faking out the fake out.

I love these breaks telling us small bits of lore and secrets about what’s going on that we’re not noticing. Anyway, I am excited to find out what this portal is exactly- I’m guessing Magic Man, Betty, and Maga’s weird cryptic chant is gonna cause some big bad event. Will Adventure Time end with the end of the world? I’d be mega shocked if Finn just died. Wait why isn’t Marceline in the future? Realistically she should be there UNLESS she got killed, soooo... back to the show!! :D

We saved the day! Big scary baby is definitely good!

Wait Fern is in the real world now???

Ice King was just gonna leave until he had that flashback

It is so cute seeing Betty and Simon’s past, I wwant fanart of them having a happy life.

Did I mention FP is super cute? I love Flame Princess

This is getting quite dark man. Even Marcy is scared.

PB don’t martyr yourself

Aww what a great leader, telling her army to flee in terror instead of dying without purpose!

Oooh Fern is on good side now!

Gumball Guardians are her real children

Is this even a kids episode? this should be rared PG-13 man

I hope all this rogue gallery characters still get lines. oh there they go

Heh Jake and Amethyst have some similarities don’t they

Wow what a dark end for someone, skull cracks open and innards bounce around and endanger people

Ice King is the savior! How cute

This is more epic than Reunited but that’s not fair to say exactly, one is finale and one is a special

Oh no poor bananas, so dumb

Let’s go Jake, doing what he does best and being helpful!

Did Jake explode and die?

Remember when LSP and Lemongrab dated?

Aww Lemongrab and LSP is a canon ship, only straight ship allowed for those two

Come on Ice King, remember who you and Betty are!

Ice King is reciting the song from the episode. Oh my gosh come on dude, replace at least ONE word in the song silly!

Betty is too crazy to not throw a tantrum I guess.

Maga the Sky Witch- Kill Count 1

No no no Flame Princesssss! Maybe she’s okay?

Fernnn! 

Did PB just die? Oh my glob

Oh Marcy’s going back to her roots

Okay PB is alive, it’s fine.

Marceline just had a PLanet Hulk moment right there.

Aww it’s canon now guys! Marceline X Bubblegum eternally and they kissssed! Guys they made up for so long of teasing!

Oh no I think they’re breaking them apart layer-by-layer

Ice King is Simon again, yeyyy!

I love that the moment PB and Marcy are confirmed gay for real they just have them holding each other close to prove it even more

Finally Jakei s confirmed not dead

Oh no is Jake dead, 2.0.?

Finally we have a reason BMO knows what happens. He nearly died.

Okay so... Flame Princess and Fern are taken out while Maga is definitely dead. I have a feeling Marceline might die,or else we’ll need a thorough explanation for why she’s not living in her house. Like I can tell that this character voiced by Willow Smith is Jake’s descendant but Marceline is potentially an immortal I assumed so they wouldn’t have her be gone without explanation. Then, here’s a question: is Jake about to sacrifice himself to save BMO?? Also, BMO straight-up says the world ended so I have a feeling that he wasn’t just being coy.

Oh my glob, what’s about to happen. Jake and Finnn’s home is destroyed. 

BMO is getting deep. Okay HE’S SINGING THE SONG :D

Is this about to have a Rogue One ending? How is this going to end happily?

This song is meant to be bittersweet, no way is this a happy ending song guys.

Is BMO secretly badass? CARTOON CONSPIRACY No it’s just the power of music.

Oh I get it! Discord, Harmony, Music, it all makes sense! 

Oh literally everyone sings this! along with screaming!

They got so many voice actors for this! 

Is he going to explode? Oh my glob?

Here lies Finn. he was a good man. I love him. 

“No one gets to choose how it happens. the most important thing is that we’re here together.” Nice way to make me sad twice

Is Simon going to become Simon forever? What’s going on here? Is Betty going to get her bones crushed???

Aww how cute of you Betty. not making my heart any calmer

Ooh yes he’s Simon again :DDD

Oh my gosh this is a crazy kind of ending

Oh no I’m scared now.

thanks for the reminder of The Tandem Elephant’s existence man. Okay, so... this is crazy. Simon is back, like for real, he’s not dying or anything... Betty is potentially dead... Finn didn’t die, which is dope... my eyes are watering, definitely not about to cry. I can’t believe it I’m emotional over cartoon show wow. Just knowing I have eight more minutes until it for real is all over. Maybe I’ll just like, watch it again so I can pretend it didn’t end yet? No that’d be fake. I normally don’t even cry in situations where it’d make sense so this is telling for me I guess. These commercials really make me appreciate how good the show I’m watching are. :’D Okay so, I don’t think Magi actually died, although it’s hard to tell really since I didn’t get a good look at her. I have no idea what is about to happen but I am freaking out. 

Ultimate Adventure continues now

Oh wow Betty fused with the crystal boi

Simon and Marcy, reunited for real

Imagine how much it must suck to wake up after so long of being stuck as someone else

I DON’T FEEL SO GOOD. is that a reference... Oooniverse?

Okay so Gunter is the future beard boy I guess.

Oh wow they grew a Fern. and found a new sword. 

YES HE SCREAMED. THE BOY SCREAMSSS!

Thanks for disobeying me Finn

Finn officially has the singular arm. Dope.

Future baby boy has a big beard

Finn and Jake can’t live forever, this is the past yes

Ooh the music hole is here again! Epic callback broos

Ooh the hole sings the End Credits Song oh geez

New Ice King is Gunter, old ICe King is Simon

Ooh nice glimpses of what might become of some of our friends in the future

Ooooh Lemongrab and Jake get along better. 

Aww cute his dad is going to space now

Flame Princess and NEPTR friends forever

Jiggler callback! 

Susan is here!

Normal Man is cool!

Huntress Wizard continues to be fun! 

PB and Marcy are still gay, Pep But is still edgyyyy

THE HUMANS ARE BAAAAAACCCCCKKKK

They found the sword oh glorb! 

OH WOW THEY JUST HINTED AT WHAT A FUTURE ADVENTURE TIME SPINOFF WOULD BE LIKE!

I LOVE THE FACT THAT THEY DIDN’T RESET BUTTON US BUT DIDN’T KILL EVERYBODY OR SOMETHING! 

Okay I have a lot of thoughts... that was a ffinale. It really was. It was not something I got disappointed in because they didn’t wrap up anything. It wasn’t like waiting 10 years for 10 more episodes of a cartoon. It was like epic man. I naerly teared up guys. It didn’t end with a Reset Button like some finales would- Everything Stays, but it still changed. Sorry, this post is too long for anyone to read all the way through, but I still hope you enjoyed my thoughts on the last Adventure Time episode. A zillion out of ten guys.

[buzzfeedwheeze]

The New Teacher - Shyan fanfic

Ugh

Sorry it took me so long to post the new chapter. I didn't know what to do with the fic (I blame the new Star Wars movie and the WiFi at my beach house), but I think I found my way again!

Hope you enjoy.

You can find it at AO3

Two months passed really fast and Shane got into a new routine. One that he actually enjoyed. Apart from having to give his son up two weeks a month, he was actually quite content. He would wake up earlier than what he used to, just so that he could have breakfast with his kid, generally milk and cereal because it was the fastest option and they were both lazy suckers. Then Shane would drop Andrew at school, go to work, banter with Ryan Bergara on Twitter and sometimes prepare a nice meal for Andrew and his boyfriend Steven. Yeah, somehow the new teacher became a part of his life, whether it was a conscious or unconscious decision of his. Usually at the lunch break he would find himself engaging of multiple discussions with Bergara about aliens, ghosts, movies and one time they even had a passionate debate about popcorn.

After one week of smiling like a teen after he received a new notification of @ryansbergara, he was forced to admit that there was more than simply bantering going on. Their fights didn’t feel real, or maybe they never were. When he took Andrew to school or went to pick him up he would wait to see Bergara arrive and then would tease him on twitter about how he looked ridiculous with his weird love for yellow clothes, especially one vest that he wore a lot. Ryan would always reply with a “stalker :)” and Shane would grin from ear to ear.

Now, he found it kind of hard to look at the man, that being the reason why he adopted the method of avoiding at all costs to get out the car near school grounds. Andrew reacted to this novelty with curiosity at first but now all he did was smirk when he got to the car, always making sure to mention the damn teacher. But although he wanted to avoid Bergara he couldn’t help but show up at the exact time he knew the teacher was about to arrive at school. He didn’t want to confront his feelings, but hey, he could still appreciate a nice body, with a great face, fantastic humor, amazing knowledge, sweet eyes... Ryan Bergara was the closest thing, for Shane, to proof of the existence of supernatural beings. Of course, he had flaws, Shane knew there was no such thing as perfection, but that man was pretty damn close to it.

But today was saturday.

Meaning no Bergara and no need to confront what was going on between them. The only thing planned for the day was a draft of a new cartoon he had to present for his superior on Monday and a dinner at the new restaurant that opened near his apartment. He was going to take Andrew and Steven and they were going to order enough food to make themselves ashamed on the next day.

A great plan. He had a cocky smile in place as he skimmed through the newspaper.

“Why are you smiling like that?” he looked up to find a very sleepy Andrew exiting his room. “It’s kinda creepy since you’re reading the Sports” the boy then rubbed his eyes.

Shane rolled his eyes. “Keep that attitude young boy and you won’t be having any pancakes today”

Andrew frowned. “You wouldn’t dare…” then his dad wiggled one eyebrow. “YOU WOULD! YOU SICK BASTARD!” Such a drama queen… I taught him so well. Shane smiled fondly as his son threw his hands in the air as he grunted on his way to the kitchen.

Shane got up quickly and took over his position on the stove. Andrew had already set up the table and was now resting his face on his hands as he watched his dad. Shane prepared the dough and after a few minutes, full of flips and a lot of cursing, the pancakes were ready.  Before placing them on the table he turned to Andrew.“Want me to cut them on Disney characters shapes?”

“What is the point of eating pancakes if they are not Disney themed pancakes?” he raised an eyebrow.

Shane had to blink a few times because he wasn’t seeing big grown up Andrew, there, right in front of him, was little Andrew with chubby cheeks and small hands. He quickly turned and focused on the task of cutting the pancakes into various shapes to make Andrew’s new favorite character from ‘Disney’. The sound of nervous fingers tapping on a screen and the rhythmically sound of the knife hitting the board helped Shane concentrate and suppress the treacherous tears. It was hard to get around the idea of Andrew no longer being his little boy. I’m becoming one of those dads.

Soon he placed an almost perfect, considering that it was made with pancake, BB-8 right in front of his son. Andrew gasped and stared at the plate he like used to do when he was a kid. “I was going to do a Kylo Ren. But since you are probably going to post it on Instagram, and I know you are not ready to share your obsession with Kylo, I thought it was better to play it safe. A good ol’ bot for ya.”

Andrew reached over the table and hugged his dad. “You are the best”. He snapped a photo and munched on his BB unit quite happily. Shane just ate his regular stacked pancakes but his heart was so warn that he felt like they were made of pure gold.

They ate in silence and after breakfast Andrew washed the dishes and left to meet Steven and head out to Matt’s place. Some other friends were going to be there as well, their friend Adam, Ashley and a girl called Jen. Apparently they were going to have a Harry Potter marathon and survive out of popcorn the whole day. They were living the dream. Shane tried to tag along and Andrew said that even though he was cool there was no chance he was going since he had a project to begin. Boo hoo adult life sucks.

Shane got all his stuff and found a comfortable spot on their dining table. Put on his ‘Thinking Cap ON” playlist and started to take notes of some ideas he had on the past few days. But as he jotted them down he felt like they weren’t exactly very creative or even original. No one would ever bother to invest on a cartoon like that. So he decided to start by designing the main character. It wasn’t how he normally worked but he had a deadline and he needed to present something to his boss. Anything. He opened his memos and found some notes from the briefing he had had last week about the new cartoon. The notes were kind of confusing but at least he managed to get some of the things his boss wanted.

“Supernatural. Two main characters. Diversity. Funny. Not too scary. A bit of sarcasm.” Shane wanted to throw his phone on the street so a car could smash it. “I’m so fucked right now.”

The hours flew by like minutes and he only had the sketches of the main characters done. He opted for two girls. One was blond with a big nose and thick glasses. He decided that she was going to be a bucket full of sarcasm and bad jokes. The other one was smaller, a mix of Asia and Latin America on her features. He didn’t know what to do with her. He stared at the page in front of him and tried to see what was behind those big beady eyes he drew. Maybe she was going to be more like a sidekick, always scared and hiding. Shane was about to to write that, but something stopped him. That wasn’t right. There was more to those characters and without a plot he couldn’t fully comprehend them. Especially the tiny girl. Shane shut the sketch book and decided to prepare his lunch.

After having lunch, Shane did no progress at all. All he had was two sketched and barely filled profile about the characters. He had longed abandoned the notion of having a plot or even having ideas for one. So until Andrew and Steven called for him to go pick them up, all he did was complain, play Disney Crossy Road and watch old episodes of Brooklyn Nine Nine on TV. Their call would be a true blessing. He would finally be free of his responsibility and be able to go out and enjoy his weekend. Or at least his saturday night since he needed the damn project ready.

Then as if by magic his phone screen lit up. Shane turned his attention from the TV to the now vibrating phone. It wasn’t a phone call but a series of text messages from Andrew asking his dad if it was ok to pick them up an hour earlier and that he didn’t want to disturb him now that he was focused on a new project. Shane replied quickly with ‘im already on the car’ and a ‘FREEDOM’ followed by a series of gifs to illustrate his state of mind. He got up, collected the car keys and soon he was driving on his way to Matt’s house.

The traffic wasn’t that bad so he managed to arrive in less than 15 minutes at the fancy neighborhood that Andrew’s friend lived. The house was at the end of Capt. Hugo Vega Street, it was a huge modern mansion that even had some bushes cut in the shape of animals. There was a fucking crab and a flamingo, for fucks sake. Shane pulled over in front of the house and was about to honk when he saw that Andrew was waiting outside. He waved at him and watched as he began to tow Steven by his hand. Andrew sat by his side while Steven took the backseat. Shane watched through the mirror Steven laying down on the seat and chuckled. “So how wa...”

“Dad please drive!” Andrew interrupted him. “If we stay here longer I might have to go inside and kill Matt with my bare hands. Do you want me to go to jail?!” he looked exhausted.

“Let me guess.”

“You wouldn’t be able…”

“Matt’s idea of eating solemnly popcorn was a disaster and you had to deal with a very hungry Steven Lim complaining.” Andrew gasped and stared at him with wide eyes. “I had to travel with you two to a festival when you were little and I know some things don’t change.” with that he drove to the restaurant as fast as he was allowed to.

Steven practically ran inside the place when he smelled the aroma of hot meals being served. They checked their reservation and, thank god, got a great table. Soon a waiter with a fake smile kept on for pure obligation asked for their orders. Eyeing the kids barely keeping it together, staring at the basket of bread as if it was some sort of rare item, Shane picked up the menu and ordered an absurd amount of food. Lots of chicken wings dipped on spicy sauce, french fries with olive oil and herbs, one small pepperoni pizza, medium portion of quesadilla and a basket with a mix of different nacho flavors. It will do. When he finished listing almost all of the items on the menu one very scared, or maybe impressed, waiter left to go deliver his order to the kitchen.

“Food will get here soon, kids, don’t worry.” he looked at them reassuringly.

Steven looked up and his tired expression was replaced by a huge smile, which left Shane feeling pretty smug. He was capable of making those kids feel the joy of life again. Then he noticed Steven poking Andrew on the forehead, which only made the other one glare at him. But it was all he need, pointing at something behind them he whispered something for Andrew. Andrew perked up on his seat and managed a small smile when he saw whatever Steven asked him to look. Shane couldn’t hear what they were saying so he turned to look for whatever got them all so happy. You gotta be fucking kidding me.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” Ryan Bergara was there at the hall gesticulating like a maniac while talking with the maître. Shane of course still felt the urge to fight Bergara, but watching the other man arguing with someone, that wasn’t him, made some weird protection instinct kick in. It was almost like it was his duty to protect Ryan Bergara from all evil in the world. I’m so pathetic.

Deciding to ignore the situation was the best option for him, so he turned to look at the boys and noticed that Andrew wasn’t at his place anymore. Steven just shrugged and nodded his head in the direction of the teacher. I raised a snake. Shane thought bitterly as he watched Andrew talking with his teacher at the hall. Bergara was blushing and Andrew looked at him with one of his, perfected through the years, puppy eyes look and Shane rolled his eyes. Surely he was inviting Bergara to sit with them. There was one spare chair and Shane considered throwing it across the room for a second or maybe throwing himself across the room. Lost on his thoughts and still watching the chair squinting his eyes, Shane didn’t notice when Andrew got back to the table with the teacher.

“Hi, Shane… I mean Mr. Madej.” Bergara was blushing and stuttering and all of his previous thoughts of destroying the chair vanished. Boy, he was a handsome man.

“Hi. You can call me Shane Madej.” Stupid mouth. “I mean, Shane. Call me Shane” Shane got up awkwardly, bumping on the table and almost knocking down everything. He shaked Bergara’s extended hand vigorously. Then Shane helped Ryan sit, which obviously made things worse. Internally he was a mess, an eternal replay on his mind of Gordon Ramsay calling him an idiot sandwich.

Steven and Andrew were sat on VIP places to watch the show unroll in front of them. They kept snickering and whispering thing to each other, which left Shane no option but to make small talk with Ryan Fucking Bergara as they waited for the food. When the meal arrived he kicked Andrew on his shins and got the boys to talk with the teacher, who seemed to relax and appreciate better his meal.

After they ordered the dessert and were waiting for it to arrive, Shane noticed Andrew leaning in on Steven’s direction to whisper something then he got up abruptly and announced he was going to the bathroom. But before he left he winked to his dad, and Shane knew this was no teenage hook-up-on-the-bathroom plan. No. It was a masterplan to leave him alone with Begara. And his suspicions were soon confirmed when Steven giving him an apologetic smile left to go to the bathroom too.

When they left Ryan began to laugh which caused Shane to look at him with an arched eyebrow. “What?” he managed between giggles. “It’s just that no matter how many years have passed teenagers will always try the bathroom excuse to go make out.”

“Yeah. The ol’ bathroom excuse to make out” he said through gritted teeth.

“They even try that at school!” Ryan wheezed. “I just look at them with one raised eyebrow and say ‘really? I’ll tell you kid, I invented this excuse. Go back to your work’.”

Shane’s annoyance left just as soon as it arrived. He looked at Ryan with glinting eyes and in a malicious tone asked. “You’re telling me, you skipped class to make out with girls in the bathroom, Bergara? The shame”

Ryan gulped and stared at Shane mortified. And stuttering a bit he managed to spit out the words. “I-I supp-suppose at the time they were girls.” he sipped his cranberry lemonade and eyeing Shane by the corner of his eye said in a much clearer voice. “You can call me Ryan, you know.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed. It’s rude.” Shane’s heart was beating so fast that he felt like it was going to escape his chest. “Considering that people always assume I’m heterosexual or just deny my bisexuality, I should’ve known better.” he didn’t want to look at the man sat by his side. He knew the look of disgust people generally had on their faces when he admitted his sexuality.

“Bisexual? That’s nice.” Ryan’s voice was so sweet that Shane had to look up. He was looking at him with those gleaming eyes and soft mouth curved into a beautiful smile. Shane smiled back.

“I guess it is.”

Ryan sipped his drink again. Coughed a few times then turned to Shane. “So, Andrew was telling me some other day after class, that you work at Disney?” then after stealing one of his fries added. “Your son really loves you, he’s always talking about you.”

“Yeah, I do. I work at the animations studio.” he was torn between hugging Andrew and cutting his allowance. He’s basically selling me to his teacher as if I’m a cow.

“That’s so cool! I love Disney!” he now was turning his whole body on Shane’s direction. “You see, I have this friend, Helen, and we go every year to Disney together. It was where our friendship sort of began.”

“That’s really sweet. I, too, love Disney. Otherwise I wouldn’t work for them.” he also tuned his body. Their legs were touching.

Ryan looked at their legs, coughed a bit and blushing continued to make small talk. “Yeah, you don’t strike me as the type of man who would work at a place you hated.” his eyes followed Shane’s movements as he sipped on his green tea. Ryan shook his head. “Hmm… Working on any new projects? The new Moana maybe?”

Shane didn’t listen the question since he was too focused on studying those full lips moving. Quickly, he reached for his tea. When he noticed Ryan waiting for something, he apologized and asked him to repeat the question. Questions about his new projects always got him excited. He would feel like a secret agent when he asked for secrecy and judging by Ryan’s expression, he was probably into it. Shane and Ryan leaned on the direction of each other, and Ryan’s legs were now between Shane’s. They were whispering but sometimes, one of them would laugh too loud (Ryan) and other would smile like a stupid RomCom guy (Shane).

The kids got back to the table at some point, but the two of them barely acknowledged them. Their desserts were left untouched in front of their places. Shane had to admit that maybe Ryan had some great ideas. Well, and some not so great. “What if they are like the ghostbusters?! But they hunt sea creatures instead of ghosts.”

“Are you insane?” The boys would chuckle and Shane would just keep shooting questions at Ryan.

“You said you wanted two girls, right? What about two girls that investigate allegedly haunted locations around the world. The skeptic one could be a ghost that came back to have some fun at the cost of the other girl. Always pulling pranks and ordering other spirits to scare the believer who is obsessed with finding proof of ghosts existence.”

“Ryan Bergara, you are basically telling me to make a genderbent version of yourself.” Shane chuckled.

“Shut up, Shane. There’s more” he rolled his eyes. “The skeptic girl liked to scare the other girl at the beginning. But then they started to go to more dangerous places and she began to protect her and grew fond of the tiny scared, yet brave sometimes, human. I’m not saying there needs to be a romantic relationship, since they are teens, but they can be really good friends.”

“I like this. A lot. Even the romantic part.” then smirking a bit he added. “Now it definitely doesn’t seem like you are trying to be the smaller girl.”

“Well, for me it does sound like genderbent fanfiction of you two” Steven mumbled to Andrew

“What did you say, Steven?” Shane nervously asked as he eyed Ryan. I guess he didn’t hear it. But he’s blushing a bit.

“Nothing.” Andrew replied while glaring daggers at his sleepy boyfriend. “He just ate too much cake.”

“I guess we should be going.” Shane said as he started to look for the waiter to ask for their check.

“Yeah, it’s probably better. I need to take the bus home. We need to see how much I…” Ryan began but was cut off by Shane.

“No need. This dinner is on me. Would like a ride home?” Bergara shook his head. “Then I guess you should be going.” Shane added a bit off.

Ryan got up and said his goodbyes. Shane watched him walking out of the restaurant and something ached on his chest. He left his credit card for Andrew. “Meet me outside kiddo”. Just after he got out of the restaurant there was no sign of the man nearby, then Shane saw a small bus stop in the distance and a small figure walking in the direction of it. Shane ran.

The bus stop was close when he felt a hand touching his shoulder which startled him “Fuck, sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” a familiar voice made him relax and Ryan turned to stare at its owner.

“Hi. Again.”

“Yeah, I could’ve asked you on twitter, but I guess my brain thought it was a better idea to ran after you in the dark.” Shane was rambling. “And you have no clue of what I’m talking about and…” a small hand slapped his arm and Shane looked at Ryan half surprised and half in pain. “What…”

“Just spit it out, Shane”

He looked at Ryan and gaining back his non-justified confidence ‘spat it out’. “I was wondering if you you would like to meet me tomorrow at a coffee shop. It’s a small place, very intimate. We talk about my new cartoon and maybe other stuff.” I can’t believe I’m asking my son’s teacher on a date.

“Like a date?” Ryan’s voice was hopeful.

“No” Yes. “I mean, maybe.”

Ryan smirked and added before making a signal for the bus approaching the stop. “Then DM me the details for our date of Schrodinger, Madej”

[sending-the-message]

She's Acting a Little Strange by MillersMinion

I look down as my phone vibrates for my attention.

“The kid’s asleep, get over here” the text reads.

Oh, right. Lisa is watching her little brother while he and her parents are visiting from out of town. We talked about me stopping by with snacks and binge watching some Archer.

“See you in 30 minutes” I reply.

I grab mostly Halloween candy because, hey ‘tis the season and head on over. It’s just past 10 when I arrive, and the house looks dark. There’s not even a car in the driveway.

“U home” I send her. No since carrying all this up to the house if she bailed on me.

“Yup, get in here, its Archer time! : ) "

I smile, grab the snack bag and head up to the front door. Just as I’m reaching for the doorknob, the porch light turns on blinding me and the door opens.

“Where’ve you been? I’ve been waiting forever! I haven’t seen the newest episodes yet.” She turns and I follow her inside toward the tv room at the back of the house.

“What? I thought you’d seen them all. Just the other day you were complaining because the season was over!”

The house is dark and still, the only lights are a dim nightlight in the kitchen and a lamp on the side table by the couch. The curtains are open to the back yard, but inky blackness is all that is visible.

I flop down on one end of the couch and start dumping snacks and candy out on the coffee table. Lisa is standing by the tv holding the remote and staring off into space. Her head is slightly tilted as if listening to something and a small frown line appears between her eyebrows.

“Hey, space cadet! Grab me a water ok, let’s get this show on the road!”

“Wha…? Sure!” She flashes me a huge grin and dashes off to the kitchen. I look down and see her cat, Frankie, peeking around the edge of the sofa after her.

“Hey little guy,” I reach out toward him but he hisses and runs off when Lisa returns with the water. She hands me a bottle and I notice it’s been opened already.

“Gross, this one’s open.” I say giving a disgusted look, something I would never normally do. She doesn’t comment on it and just hands me hers.

“Here, I’m having trouble with the remote, can you get the show started. I have to dump this out.” Handing me the remote, she heads back to the kitchen with the open water bottle.

“Okaaaay,” I say and watch her start pouring the water down the drain. I’ve been here a million times and easily get the tv on and the show queued up. “Remote seems to be fine now.”

I turn back around and jump, Lisa is standing directly behind me now with a thoughtful look on her face.

“What are you doing weirdo?” My voice seems to snap her back to the present.

“I…” she stops and looks behind her. I hear a faint thumping noise upstairs. “I’ll be right back. Looks like my brother needs something!” Lisa flashes that strange grin and walks quickly through the dark to the stairs. Even though I cannot see her, I hear her faint footsteps on the stairs and across the second floor.

Through the floor I hear a few more thumps and her raised voice. I can’t make out the words, but it sounds angry. Why is she acting so odd? I know she’s seen all these shows a million times. We’ve seen them a million times together! What’s up with the cat? And there was nothing wrong with the remote, and why yell at her brother? She’s always been super patient with him, he’s only 7!

I’m feeling uneasy but I can’t quite put my finger on what’s wrong. Something is…different about her. I force myself to turn around and dig through the snacks nonchalantly when I hear her footsteps on the stairs.

“Everything ok?” I ask as she rounds the end of the couch and sits down.

“Everything is perfect.” Lisa smiles at me and I try to smile back.

“Okay, let’s start the show then.”

After a few minutes of staring and smiling at me, she finally faces the tv and we pretend to watch it. Lisa keeps glancing at me out of the corner of her eye and I pretend I don’t notice. She starts asking me which characters are which and what’s happening. What’s happening? We watched this episode together yesterday! I’m starting to think maybe she fell and hit her head or maybe she’s just pranking me but that’s not really her style.

“I’m going to use your bathroom, ok?”

“Sure, whatever you like.”

Lisa doesn’t even look up. She’s staring down at her cell phone like it’s going to pour out the secrets of the universe. I’m a little surprised she said ok, since her bathroom is upstairs, but the light’s been broken in the downstairs bath ever since we killed that spider with a broom in there.

I use the flashlight on my cell phone to light the way up the stairs and down the upstairs hallway. I consider turning on the lights up here, but don’t. Things feel strange enough and I don’t want to disturb the darkness. The door to Lisa’s room is shut, but as I pass by I can hear what sounds like crying. It’s soft and muffled but definitely someone crying.

I glance over my shoulder at the stairs and see nothing but darkness, hear nothing but the soft sounds of the cartoon. I reach for the door knob and turn it slowly, trying to make no noise.

“Hello?” I ask softly into the room and swinging the light across the floor.

“hhhhhmmmmm! HHHHHMMMM!!” Lisa says through the tape. My jaw literally falls open! It’s Lisa! Tied to her desk chair with duct tape! I look back in the hall and shut and lock the door quietly.

“What’s going on? Who is that?” I whisper as I pull the tape off of her mouth and turn on the desk light as I search for the scissors she keeps there.

“I don’t know! When I answered the door, I thought it would be you but instead I got a punch in the face and woke up tied to this chair.”

“She looks just like you! How can that be?” I’m cutting through the tape but there is a lot of it around her wrists, ankles and chest. I need to do this quick before the fake-Lisa decides I’ve been gone too long.

“Why won’t this cut?” I’m sawing through the tape but there seems to be a thin wire wrapped around her wrists and ankles under the tape. “What is this?”

“Break it if you can or just unwind it, it’s really hurting!”

Finally I reach the end of the wire and free her. Lisa jumps up and rushes to her dresser, digging around in the top drawer. Removing something, she turns keeping it behind her back and sighs.

“I need you to wait in here. Please wait in here, lock the door and don’t come out until I tell you.”

“What? Wait! What are you going to do?” I’m confused and don’t understand why she doesn’t just call the police. “Can’t we just call for help?”

“No,” she shakes her head, “Just, please do it? Stay here.”

“Okay.” I watch her open the door slowly and move through the opening like a shadow. Walking over quickly I close and lock the door, standing there and wringing my hands. I hear nothing for a few moments and walk towards the bed to sit down.

I close my eyes when the screaming starts. It’s muffled through the floor, but definitely screams. The next one is cut off midway and even though it’s only been a few minutes, it feels like forever.

Tap tap tap.

“Willow? It’s me, its Lisa. Open the door ok?”

I rush to open it but pause. “How do I know it’s real you and not fake you? What’s your favorite book?”

I’ve never been so happy to hear the answer and I yank open the door to see Lisa standing there, covered in blood.

“Oh my God…”

“I know, I’m a mess. But its ok.”

“Who was that? What happened downstairs?”

“Let’s go down and I’ll try to explain.”

She turns and starts down the stairs and I follow close behind her. Lisa is telling me about her great grandfather and how the Van Helsing family has been in hiding for years, and sometimes things come after them but I’m not really listening. Instead I reach my arm around her neck and in and one smooth motion, press the switchblade I was hiding against her back, hard. I pull her backwards making sure the blade goes all the way into her heart.

She turns her head a bit, a shocked expression crossing her face. Leaning up I whisper the last words she’ll ever hear; “I found your family earlier. Tell your bastard grandfather that Vlad’s family says hello.”

[misssamericaschavez]

Gosh, Stop Flirting.

Pairing: Dean x Reader Summary: Dean’s packed up all of his stuff and is ready to give up and say yes to Michael leaving you and Sam behind. Cas decides to show him the future he could have if he has faith in his family instead. Word Count: 2,200 Warnings: fluffy with a little bit of angst, canon divergence, language. A/N:  Based on an episode from season 5 called Point of no return. Only the beginning though when he’s going to say yes to Michael. Beta’d by @nighttimenoodle 

I place everything carefully into the cardboard box sitting in front of me and pour another drink. Everything’s in order, I’ve gotta fix this the only way I know how. Sam will be fine as soon as this is all over; I’ll get him a sweet deal out of this, but everything will be fine.

Sure, she’ll be pissed that I left the both of them in that motel room, but she’ll move on as soon as she realizes this is a good thing. This could mean a win for them. I stare into the mirror and then I see him.

“Sending someone a candygram?” Sam says watching me with sad eyes.

“How’d you find me?” I ask shocked.

“You’re gonna kill yourself right?” she says walking into the room behind Sam. God, she looks so hurt. This is why I ran, I didn’t want to see her face when she found out.

“It’s not too hard to figure out the stops on the farewell tour,” Sam says stuffing his keys into his pocket.

“I’m not gonna kill myself,” I say avoiding their eyes, staring at the floor in front of me.

“No? So Michael’s not about to make you his muppet?” she says angrily her eyes filling with tears.

“Sweetheart please-” I say trying to stop her tears.

“What the hell, man?” Sam sighs as I take another drink. “This is how it ends? You just... walk out?”

“Yea I guess,” I respond and I hear her scoff loudly.

“How could you do that Dean?” he spits angrily as the tears spill over falling down her face.

“How could I?” I say yelling back at him. “All you’ve ever done is run away.”

“And I was wrong every single time I did!”

“Dean please just not now,” She says trying to dry her eyes as best she can. “We’ve got bobby working on something, please.”

“Oh really? What?” I know she’s bluffing. “You got nothing and you know it.”

“You know I have to stop you,” Sam says staring at the stained carpet.

“Yea well you can try,” I say slamming my empty glass on the dresser. “But just remember, you’re not all hopped up on demon blood this time. And sweetheart I know you’re good, but I also know you won’t hurt me so there goes most of your muscle Sammy.”

“Yea whatever,” she sighs, “That’s why we brought help.”

My eyebrows furrow as I realize exactly what she means. I spin around to see Cas standing behind me. Two of his fingers raise to my forehead and everything goes white. When I come to, I’m standing in the middle of a sidewalk in a nice neighborhood. I look around confused, spinning in a circle. Why the hell would Cas send me here? Is this like suburban hell or something?

I turn around facing the nice house in front of me. It looks like something she would have chosen actually. It’s a two story home with a two car garage. It doesn’t look super expensive, but it doesn’t look cheap either. There’s a nice Ford Focus parked in the drive way and-

“Go open the door,” Cas says from behind me interrupting my thoughts and scaring the shit out of me. I spin around fast narrowing my eyes at him.

“What the hell Cas? People don’t usually take too kindly to strangers opening their doors and just walking right in. It’s creepy. Also you know what else is creepy? Sneaking up on people… we talked about this.”

“Yes I remember,” he sighs. “But those people inside won’t think you’re a stranger.”

“Cas where the hell are we?”

“Your future if you don’t say yes to Michael. In this future you get your happy ending. There is no hell and there is no utopia. Just this nice house in this nice neighborhood.”

“Cas,” I run my fingers through my hair. “This isn’t some made up world like that time Zachariah put me in a monkey suit and had me sit behind a desk for a week. Made me eat salads and shit. Disgusting.”

“No it is not like that. Just turn the door knob and you’ll see,” he says before disappearing. I roll my eyes at the empty air he left behind. Might as well see what’s behind door number one because he’s not going to pull me out of this bullshit unless I do what he says.

I walk up the sidewalk to the door then trudge annoyed up the porch steps. My hand hovers over the doorknob. I take a deep breath before turning the knob and pushing the door open. Walking in I see a small sitting room to my right, a long hallway in front of the door, and a staircase right beside it.

“Hello,” I say stupidly. Cas did say there were people inside who knew me. Suddenly I hear tiny feet running across the floor.

“Daddy! You’re home,” says a little boy, probably no more than 4 years old, as he runs towards me. He wraps his arms around my left leg and my mouth hangs open in shock. “Daddy up,” he says holding his small arms out for me to pick him up.

“Hey buddy,” I say trying to act as normally as possible. I scope him up and really look at him. Yea, definitely my kid; he’s got my eyes and my nose, but everything else is all her. He’s a perfect mix of the both of us and my eyes begin to water. When Zachariah sent me to the future where Sam said yes, this little boy was never there. At least I now know we’re safe from that future and this is what I get to look forward to. “Buddy where’s mom?”

“She’s in the kitchen cooking,” he says kicking his feet for me to let him down. I let him back onto the floor and he takes off in what I assume is the direction of the kitchen. I follow him down the hallway, my heart hammering in my chest. “Mommy! Look daddy’s home early.”

“What sweetie?” she asks turning around to look at me. She looks older, maybe only a couple years, but still just as beautiful as ever. She wipes her hand on her apron and her expression is hard before she puts on a fake smile. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and I notice the wedding ring on her finger.

“Hey sweetheart,” I say trying to ease the tension.

“Hey honey you didn’t call me to tell me you were on your way home. What happened?” she asks sweetly reaching out to hold my hand between both of hers making sure the ring on her right finger touched my skin. “Hey Mason?” she says not taking her eyes off of me. “You wanna go watch cartoons while I talk to daddy?”

“Yay cartoons,” the little boy, Mason, says before running back down the hall to the living room. She waits until she hears the TV turn on in the next room before she walks over to the cabinets.

“Baby you want a drink?” she says pulling out a bottle of whiskey and a glass. “I know this case was hard for you. Sit down, I’m making pasta.”

“Thanks,” I say as she sets the glass down in front of me. I drink the whole thing in one go and open my mouth wide so she can see. “Not a demon either sweetheart it’s really me.”

“Seriously?” she asks confused. “It’s not you because when you left yesterday you were not this young. Looks like someone de-aged you quite a bit. Was it a witch because the case for sure sounded like a wendigo?”

“No it wasn’t a witch,” I say smiling at her. “It was Cas.”

“Cas? Really?” she says even more confused than ever. “Cas made you younger? Why?”

“No he didn’t make me younger. I from 2010.”

“No way so DeLorean Cas strikes again?” she asks smiling.

“Yea guess he did,” I chuckle. Gosh, this is why I love her. Tell her I’m from the past and she just goes with it, smiling that perfect smile that makes my heart hammer in my chest.  “You’re so beautiful.” I can’t help it she is and her cheeks heat up under my gaze.

“Gosh, stop flirting with me, nerd,” she responds laughing. The sound makes my heart soar, always has always will. “So when’s he going to take you back?” 

“Damn trying to get rid of me already I see,” I say smirking.

“Well my husband texted a while ago… said he was close and should be here in two hours and he’s kind of a hard ass. He catches me in the house with a moderately attractive man who’s flirting relentlessly mind you and...” she tsks shaking her head. “No telling what he’ll do.”

“Hard ass huh?”

“Yea he’s the worst,” she laughs.

“Only moderately attractive?” I ask chuckling and she shrugs. “So uh, we’ve got a kid,” I say staring down the hall to where my future kid disappeared.

“Yep we’ve got a kid,” she says smiling softly at me.

“How old is he?”

“He’s 4. He was born December 17th 2010,” she says watching my eyes light up. “Yep, so since you seem surprised by the news of a kid I’m guessing you’re from before you both found out or he hasn’t even been conceived yet. So getting you back home is now my top priority.”

“Fucking Cas,” I say rolling my eyes. “Has the worst timing sometimes.”

“Sweetheart, I’m home.” I hear my voice call out from the front door. “You know this door was unlocked? Extremely unsafe.”

“Shit Mason’s gonna be confused as hell. Stay here,” she tells me firmly. I can hear him in there with his family and I’m jealous. I know this is all mine if I choose the right path, but what if I don’t. What if I fuck up along the way and never get here? “Ok promise you won’t freak out?”

“Really?” Future Dean says looking me up and down. “He passed all the tests?”

“Yep,” she says biting her lower lip.

“This is fucking weird,” say future me.

“I know right?” I say looking at him.

“Fucking Cas,” he says running his fingers through his hair.

“That’s what I said,” I say. “Freaky.”

“How do we send him back?” he asks.

“Can’t we like call your Cas or something maybe he’ll listen better.”

“Nope no can do,” he answers immediately avoiding eye contact.

“Why not?” I ask curiously.

“He’s not exactly taking my calls these days. Why did your Cas send you here anyway.”

“I guess I’m supposed to learn an important lesson or something?” I say looking down at the floor.

“What happened?” she asks, though I can tell she already knows the answer.

“Was gonna say yes to Michael,” I say and I’m met with silence.

“Well if you do something stupid like that we’ll never get here asshole,” she says glaring at me. She’s pissed. She knows what saying yes would mean. She knows that if I give up control to Michael, it’s a death sentence.I know that too, but the world doesn’t need me. “That little boy in there needs you Dean,” she says like she read my mind. “I need you too. So don’t give up on me.”

“I know it’s just,” I sigh. “Things are bad right now and I just need a win and I thought this would get us somewhere.”

“Well you thought wrong. Don’t you dare walk out on us now. Do you understand me?” she asks sternly, she’s got that mom voice down perfectly.

“Yea baby. I understand,” I say winking at her.

“Told you to stop flirting,” she says wrapping her arms around future me. “My husbands right fucking here.”

“Rude,” he jokes. “I’m right here.”

I go to respond, but I don’t get the chance to. I don’t even get a second to say anything before Cas pops in front of me pressing two fingers to my forehead and saying “Time to go”. Suddenly, everything burns white again and I’m standing in the middle of Bobby sitting room. Looking around, I see her sitting waiting anxiously on the old couch against the wall.

“You’re back,” she says voice shaky.

“Yea I’m back,” I croak watching her sad eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Dean just tell me you’re not going to say yes to Michael,” she says standing up and walking towards me.

“I’m not going to say yes,” I say and she lets out a relieved sigh. “We’re going to figure this whole apocalypse shit out. I know we can. I’m not leaving you.”

“Good,” she says pressing her lips to mine and for the first time in a long time I feel pretty good about the future. As long as I’ve got her by my side, I’ll be alright.

Masterlist

Dean Girls:

@nighttimenoodle @shut-ur-face-and-get-in-the-car @bunnywinchester @akshi8278 @deanandsamsbitch @thebikiniinspector @moonlightxhs @snowy-67 @chicagolove88​

Wanna be added?

[theinbisibleman]

“I thought I was white”

When I was a kid, I thought I was white. I woke up and ate the sugary white people cereal for breakfast, I watched the idyllic families on white people TV, listened to the nonsense lyrics of white people music (this one is @Hanson for MMMBop and @LFO for their entire discography), and then went to school with my white friends. It never occurred to me that I was different. Sure, my name was not as easy to pronounce as “Chase” or “Rob” or another name that is also just a verb. My name is Jerwin Gabriel Santiago, which roughly translates to my parents are lazy, Catholic, and racially confusing to white people. We can break this down a little further.

First, lazy. Let me qualify that my parents are the hardest working, most ambitious and determined people I’ve met in my whole life and that would hold true even if I met either Serena or Venus Williams. However, my father’s name is Erwin and my older brother’s name is Erwin Jr. My parents, like a college student who started their twelve-page midterm paper on civil disobedience at 11:30pm when it’s due at midnight (@me during my first year of college), hopelessly scrambled for a name. Out of literally infinite amounts of names, they decided to tactfully pluck the “J” from “Jr.” and delicately place it onto “Erwin”. My brother inherited the legacy of my father’s name almost monarchically and I was left with the off-brand version of it. You know when Aldi is trying to come up with a name for Fruit Loops so they just change it to Fruit Rounds and hope no one notices? Yeah, that’s what my entire existence felt like. I was so embarrassed by the obscurity of my name until I started shopping at Aldi and realized that, just like me, Fruit Rounds were more reasonably priced, more accessible, and (I’ll say it!) WAY TASTIER than Fruit Loops (mostly due to the reasons listed before)!

Next, Catholic: my parents are Christmas-and-Easter Catholics who will occasionally lecture me about how God is the most important force in our lives a propos of nothing. We could silently be eating at a Cheesecake Factory and my mom will set aside ten minutes to remind me that God blessed us with overpriced cheesecake and fake Italian food. The name Gabriel is derived from the angel Gabriel who served as God’s messenger, relaying important and formative pieces of information to various biblical characters. Now, I am not very religious because at the early ages of me attempting to memorize prayers, I had already filled my entire brain with Kelly Clarkson lyrics. However, I feel like I carry on Gabriel the Angel’s legacy after one glass of wine and a quick listen to any song off Carly Rae Jepsen’s Emotion album. I often find myself delivering almost Shakespearian monologues to people (close friends and complete strangers alike) whenever I am within 5 feet of a bottle of cheap wine (Aldi’s Winking Owl Bordeaux is my go-to) (and yes, this is me begging for an Aldi sponsorship). Often times I will deliver a 20-minute monologue with these phrases strung together in a random order: “you are a powerful force that deserves love”, “you inspire me with your joy”, and “you’re gonna go so far”. So, despite my lack of saliency to my Catholic upbringing, I believe the name Gabriel is entirely fitting (and, honestly, kind of hot).

Finally, racially confusing to white people. Countless white people read my last name and become visibly confused upon their first look at my face. I’ve got a Spanish last name, several “Asian” facial characteristics, and a skin color I could only describe as “Liberal Studies College Pamphlet-Brown” (i.e. a sort of panethnic skin tone meant to encompass all people of color to convince you a college “cares about diversity”) which is synonymous with “Would Be Asked to Portray Any Ethnic Person in Pop Culture on SNL-Brown”. I had a grade school friend of five years once say to me “Wait, you’re not Mexican?” so shocked that I heard a record scratch like in a 90’s rap music video. This was just one of the many times of my early adolescence that I had to confront my racial identity. I am Filipino; meaning, I mark “Asian” on all my forms, my entire family is 100% Filipino, and am thrust into all the sociopolitical standards and implications of my Asian identity.

At home, I was constantly reminded of my Asian-ness and, as a byproduct of my predominantly white surroundings, my overwhelming Other-ness. My mom is a powerful woman who carries herself with admirable strength and poise. My dad is a loud-talking, lively man full of passion and authority. The strong guidance of these two taught me work ethic, perseverance, and hope. On paper, these qualities sound perfect. There was one flaw though: we weren’t white. We weren’t what I saw in practically every direction I turned. So, I tried running from that.

Every opportunity I had, I would beg my parents to buy Lunchables at the supermarket or pack me a ham and cheese sandwich instead of rice and some traditional Filipino dish out of fear of being made fun of in the cafeteria. I hated being asked if I “ate dog” when I pulled out chicken adobo and rice. I hated looking to my left and right and not seeing a single Ziploc Tupperware container that looked like mine. Even worse, I hated looking to my left and right and not seeing a person that looked like me.

I thought I was white. Grade school Jerwin was crushed the day that his mother sat him down, looked him right in the eyes, and said, “Mommy gets paid less than white men who do less work at her job. We are different. We have to work twice as hard to get half as far.” I felt like a mutant in the X-Men cartoons I would watch every day. I felt like a blue little monster that just wanted to teleport away or change how I looked or do whatever Beast did. Smash things and grow chest hair? Besides the point. I felt defeated and now there was no running from it. No matter how much Lucky Charms I ate, or how many episodes of Full House I watched, or how many Rivers I Cried (sweet Justin Timberlake reference, you don’t even have to tell me), I was still Asian.

As I’ve grown up, I’ve received and will continue to receive several rude awakenings. I read about psychological experiments done that prove names are sometimes the key factor in who employers choose for a position, mostly at the detriment of the more ethnic sounding name. I learn about the toxicity of the “Model Minority” standard that many Asians are forced into and how its presence in Western culture is destructive to all people of color. I am “pretty funny for a brown guy”. I get labeled “the brown friend” like I’m some kind of one dimensional supporting role in a mid-2000’s romantic comedy. I get asked if I “tark rike dis”. I get confused for other brown people. I get called “Mocha” or “Japanese-Chinese-Caramel-Man” (both actual things I was called by actual humans). I am referenced as “the crazy little Asian boy” or “the oriental one” at work. I get talked over by white people in academic or professional spaces. I am minimized and silenced in predominantly white comedy venues.

However, as I’ve grown up, I’ve also grown stronger. No longer am I the seven-year-old weeping in the aisle of a Jewel-Osco, asking for a pizza Lunchables, which were horrible anyways. Does it still hurt to get microaggressed? Absolutely. Will I and all other people of color continue to face discrimination? Absolutely. But now I stand taller, ready to put in the work my mother warned me about.

I am not white. I am proudly Filipino. I am proud of my skin. I am proud of my Tupperware full of Sinigang and rice. I am proud of my Asian-ness – my Other-ness. I am Jerwin Gabriel Santiago, and I am not white.

[noddytheornithopod]

Okay, then how about a show I know you have watched: SU!

haven’t heard of it | absolutely never watching| might watch | currently watching| dropped| hated it | meh| a positive okay| liked it| liked it a lot!| loved it| a favorite

don’t watch period| drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes| give it a go, could be your thing| 5 star recommendation

fav characters: Ugh, I love them all, it feels like picking between children. My go to for favourite is Peridot, but I also love characters like Connie, Pearl, Steven, Lapis, etc.least fav characters: I honestly don’t dislike any characters on this show, and if I do they’re so insignificant I’ve already thought about them. I probably would’ve forced myself to pick someone like Marty or Kevin, but now after Kevin Party I even like Kevin dammit. :Vfav relationship: Oh wow, another tough one. I love how Steven manages to have an interesting relationship with pretty much everyone he interacts with, and all the relationships that don’t involve Steven are great too. If I had to pick I’d probably go Steven and Connie though, they just have such great chemistry and are able to be really close even with implied romantic feelings. Not to mention they get me the most emotional. XDfav moment: Ugh, this is so hard. My gut reaction is the ending to I am my Mom because of how tragic it is on so many levels, but seriously this show is filled with great moments and it’s really hard to pick just one.headcanons/theories: - Lapis is shady as fuck and she’s hiding something, people seem to really underestimate how dark and powerful she can be. I mean, even if we’ve just gotten to see a bit of her view on the Diamonds, we still don’t even know why she has yet to comment anything on Rose Quartz or mistake Steven for her. This is part of why the Blue Diamond fusion theory appeals to me, since even though it sounds outlandish on paper the analysis provided by @radioactivesupersonic and @mollinosis really suggests if the Crewniverse did something like this it would be a pretty compelling and emotional story. I mean, secret former co-matriarch or not, there’s a lot about Lapis we don’t know yet.- Rose was most certainly involved in the shattering of Pink Diamond, people appear to have taken “Rose isn’t responsible” at face value and just assumed it could’ve been anyone in charge. For what the show is going for Rose really still makes the most sense to have done the deed, even if she simply say masterminded it and Pearl did the dirty work (I’m positive Pearl was involved somehow, given how she refuses to speak when the subject comes up and her distress around it).- On the subject of Rose, I like the idea that she was Pink Diamond before faking her death, fight me. :V I’m not banking too hard on the theory, but I feel like it’s just got so much potential to shake things up narratively. Like, Rose would then have been avoiding confrontation and ruining things with everyone from the very beginning, even as a ruler, it just adds a whole new layer of messed up of what Rose has been doing.- Steven is going to have to come to terms with his reviving from death powers at some point and figure out how to be responsible with them.unpopular opinion: - Whenever people say “I hate X character or episode,” I never agree, and it especially bugs me when people use subjective reasoning and claim to be objective with it. Even if I have knee jerk reactions to things, I still try to think things through.- I like the slice of life episodes, and think they’re important thematically.- Lapidot is an overrated ship and I was not surprised at all when I saw what went down in Raising the Barn.- The quirk of having storyboarders’ styles influencing how the characters look is fine and not an issue, and it’s especially grating when people use this as “objective proof” the show sucks. At most, I only find it a bit distracting when two obviously different styles are shown within a close time frame (eg Raven and Lauren), but even there it’s really just a nitpick and nothing like the show breaking thing it claims to be.- Lapis is way darker and more interesting than people give her credit for, they always reduce her to either “waiter waifu” or “lol inconsistent, bad writing,” but she’s so much more interesting than that.- Steven’s perspective isn’t always right, people sometimes take what we see for granted and get angry at things that can really be solved by looking beyond the fact that we only see the world through his eyes.- The one sidedness people have in discussions about which character was in the wrong in X episode drive me nuts, because it’s always tried to be framed as a black and white issue when it pretty much never is.- Aquamarine is really fun and one of my favourite antagonists on the show, not just because of her general personality but also how she doesn’t even seem to want to be there and yet is arguably one of the most successful in doing what she’s done.- Onion isn’t evil and he is my sonion, give him a break guys.- #GivePeridotBackHerLimbEnhancers2k17. No, seriously, Peridot’s limb enhancers did nothing wrong and she’s allowed to have them back, they make things way more convenient for her and she doesn’t need to be eternally stuck without them just because “lol technology evil.”how’d you find it: People raving about it on tumblr, first when Jailbreak came out but then more discussion piqued my interest.random thoughts: Cartoon Network needs to sort out their airing schedule.

[mr-starkasm]

RULES: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

I was tagged by @ironcaptains thank you darling!! I love being tagged on these things!!! 

I’m going to tag @udontas @not-close-to-straight @ironheartng @fangirlingmanaged @tony-stark-is-bae @kay-cas19 @themxchanic @heart-of-gold-titanium-alloy  (as soon as I hit post I’ll remember 1000 people I’d like to tag so if you want to do it please do and tag me so I can see your answers!!)

ANSWERS UNDER THE CUT!

my last:

1.  drink: water (I’m always drinking water)

2. phone call: my friend

3. text message: my other friend

4. song you listened to: Me Enamoré by Shakira

5. time you cried: I love to suppress my emotions and try to convince myself I can’t and shouldn’t feel anything so I don’t even remember 

6. dated someone twice: no (in portuguese, which is my first language, we have a saying that i love to use, it’s perfect for this question but i don’t think it’s funny in english :/)

7. kissed someone and regretted it: yes (but i didn’t regret kissing them, just the occasion, it wasn’t a nice time for what we did lol)

8. been cheated on: no 

9. lost someone special: no 

10. been depressed: when have i NOT been depressed?? lmao this shit is out of control

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: ew never happened to me

3 favorite colors

12. to wear: black (like my soul)

13. in general: purple

14. lip stick: nude

in the last year have you 15. made new friends: yes! a couple of new cool friends!! love them!!

16. fallen out of love: no (i hate to be that person but i don’t think i’ve ever been in love lol except for 4th/5th grade when i thought i was going to die because the boy i liked didn’t like me back what a dumb bitch wasting my time on boys ugh)

17. laughed until you cried: basically always

18. found out someone was talking about you: yes

19. met someone who changed you: eh not really 

20. found out who your friends are: hmmm it sounds dramatic. you mean like, finding out they are fake or something?? i don’t think so

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes (is facebook alive?? i never go there anymore) general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them I think

23. do you have any pets: no

24. do you want to change your name: that’s funny because when i was a kid I wanted to but now I love my name!! when my mom told me what the other option was I almost died because i don’t like it 

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I had a Depressive Episode™ so it totally ruined my plans and I just went out for dinner with my family and convinced myself I’ll never celebrate my birthday again

26. what time did you wake up: 8:30 my nephew entered my bedroom screaming so I’d put on cartoons for him

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: i was on this Hellsite of course (2)

28. name something you can’t wait for: to die  to get a job!!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like 10 min ago lmao (2)

31. what are you listening to right now: Desesperado by Rihanna

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no (it’s not a common name here)

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my inseparable friend anxiety :)

34. most visited website: tumblr 

35. hair colour: brown

36. long or short hair: i used to have veeeery long hair but i’ve been cutting it short and now it’s getting long but i want to cut again but i don’t really know aaaaaaa

37. do you have a crush on someone: no

38. what do you like about yourself: omg i hate this question because i hate myself ok i tried but i can’t answer this aaaaaaaaaa sorry

39. piercings: i used to have one on my ear and planed to have more but it infected and I found out I’m allergic :’(

40. blood type: AB+

41. nickname: Lena

42. relationship status: married to college

43. zodiac: virgo

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: i don’t really watch much but i loved hannibal and I think it’ll always be my favorite

46. tattoos: again i’m allergic :’( there are so many i’d like to do :’’’’’(

47. right or left handed: right 

48. surgery: i had a plastic surgery on 2014

49. piercing: shocking but still the same answer as 39

50. sport: who the fuck is sport?? 

51. vacation: omg no plans :’( but i wish i could go to europe!!

52. pair of trainers: what kind of questions is this??

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: paçoca <3 

54. drinking: water!!!!

55. i’m about to: go to sleep (i wish but i’ll be stuck in this hellish site for a couple of hours lmao)

56. waiting for: death to see my friends on saturday!!

57. want: to die go to paris!!! someone give a few million dollars so i can live there please!!!!

58. get married: never i think (unless Rihanna wants me)

59. career: I’m studying International Relations and I want to be a diplomat!!

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: hugs 

61. lips or eyes: eyes

62. shorter or taller: taller

63. older or younger: older 

64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms

65. hook up or relationship: hook up

66. troublemaker or hesitant: a troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: yes

68. drank hard liquor: yes

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: no (i’ve broken my glasses in a concert tho)

70. turned someone down: yes

71. sex on the first date: no

72. broken someone’s heart: yes

73. had your heart broken: no

74. been arrested: no

75. cried when someone died: yes

76. fallen for a friend: omg whenever i have a friend for too long i get to a period where i have a crush on them is it normal??

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: hmmmm maybe?? sometimes?? i think so

78. miracles: no

79. love at first sight: no!! love needs time!!

80. santa claus: christmas is not real jesus wasn’t born on december it’s just one more way for capitalists to get our money love him

81. kiss on the first date: yeah sure

82. angels: no

OTHER: 83. current best friend’s name: Deborah and Izabella love them so much

84. eye colour: brown

85. favourite movie: The Devil Wears Prada (one day i’ll be Miranda Priestly)