#i choose to believe these clips are all real just in like. another reality. i had visions.

[sophaeros]

yall i had a really wacky milex dream the other night?? i dreamt i was on tumblr and saw a video compilation someone made of random underrated milex moments but i only remember/watched up to the first three clips

for the first clip they wore identical blue and red floral print skirts that were ugly as Fuck but they were still skirts so i was like holy shit??? like the fits were Ugly ok alex had his coachella white button up and miles had a black turtleneck i think? and the skirts were almost knee length they were a Lurid blue fabric with big cartoonish just as bright red flowers patterned on them outlined in black and smaller black flowers scattered across it. just eyesearing. like i got skirts but at what cost

second clip was in the studio of a late night show for some reason they'd just finished their set and the host was patting them on the arm like thanks for coming on the show that was the last shadow puppets everybody. at some point they'd done a costume change or something so they had towels wrapped around themselves??+ pants and i was like why are yall holding the towels up to ur chests like women usually do. but anyway when they turned to leave the stage the back of alex's towel had fallen a bit so i was just staring at his upper back really hard. you know this clip from am era where he takes his shirt off? like that

third clip felt like it was set in some kind of alternate universe where alex and miles apparently didnt know each other that well..? but it was still taotu era they were in their suits and alex was interviewing miles??like they'd already done the album it was a promo video for taotu and they were sitting at different piano benches several feet apart from each other and alex was asking miles random questions. i dont remember most of them but his third question i think was what are your favourite books. miles gave his answer then alex walked over to his pile of books and admitted that he'd panicked a bit before the interview and dug up all his hashtag intellectual books and miles laughed and said he could tell because it was all shit like ulysses. and then alex said actually his first choice had been fifty shades of grey??????????I DONT EVEN LIKE THAT BOOK. (but i also just found out that he has actually mentioned it irl which i did Not know)

and then he picked up a book and sat beside miles and miles offhandedly said he'd always been curious about the stuff in fifty shades but never tried it and alex flicked a glance up at him as he opened the book and said really casually oh really? well we can try them out together later. if you'd like. and then i paused the video and went HELLO ?????? and made a post about it like was anyone gonna tell me this happened and beph rb'd my post saying oh yeah lmfao i have this clip and then the dream shifted to another segment

adding to the realism is the fuckin sexual tension in that clip like at one point it cut to a close up of miles looking at alex in that intense way he does while he talked

this is the consequence of spending upwards of 13 hours a week on tumblr

[tapwrites]

Theme through Story (The Matrix)

This is another review/writing article, this time based on the Matrix series, by the Wachowskis. (Stay tuned for the second part.)

The Matrix has always been a favourite movie of mine. When I first saw it, it really blew my mind! Just the core idea of the world not being what you thought it was, the trippy, all-encompassing surreality of it all was super engaging to me as a kid.

Great effects, some kung-fu, some explosions... great fun.

It was small-scale, big-concept. It's all about a small group, fighting for survival against just 1 - 3 agents, that looked cool with bullet-time and all that. And the idea of living in a simulation and not realising it brought it this weight, and brain-melting quality in the background of the whole thing.

Now... with my review out of the way, the article will begin.

In this two-part series I'm going to go deeper into the themes of each movie, and how they are expressed through the writing. The themes I'm particularly zooming in on are all closely linked between films, so it's a great opportunity to compare different ways of expressing the same (or at least comparable) theme.

scroll down to find out how deep the rabbit hole really goes ▊

Bear in mind, this is written for people familiar with the source material--the "Matrices." If you've not watched them, this will spoil all sorts of things with no warning. And what's more, you'll probably not understand what I'm talking about in the first place.

Films are sometimes referred to by the shorthand: M1: The Matrix, M2: Reloaded, M3: Revolutions, M4: Resurrections.

I'll also leave time codes like this [M1 1:20:34] so you can find the clips yourself. I would embed them as youtube videos, but I'm pretty sure they'd be taken down in a heartbeat.

I'll skip to the end and say, the theme is "choice." Choice as a concept runs through all 4 movies, and is explored from different angles, in different ways in each.

What I'm going to delve into is, how the theme is written into the stories themselves, and how that affects the viewing experience.

Everything here is from my subjective opinion. Yours may differ. I hope that you can learn about "theme" from this analysis either way.

The first scene to look at is... Neo's boss tells him off about being late. Bear with me, you'll see why soon. [M1 0:12:04]

BOSS: You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson. You believe that you are special, that somehow the rules do not apply to you. Obviously you are mistaken. ... The time has come to make a choice, Mr. Anderson. Either you choose to be at your desk on time from this day forth... or you choose to find yourself another job. Do I make myself clear?

This is not a real choice. The boss doesn't expect Neo to think about it and choose between these options. He is given the choices, with the expectation that only one of them will inevitably be selected.

The framing of the choices is given by the "truths" that preceded them. As if saying, "Given that you're not special and the rules apply to you"... these are your options, but we all know which you should go with.

If believes those "truths," he has no choice but to go with that first option.

Now, this scene doesn't really do much, on the face of it. It establishes the boss's office, and the window washers' platform, both of which come back in the next scene.

But nothing really happens. You could say you should just cut this scene, or else spice it up to make it actually interesting. But that seemingly mundane, unimportant conversation is setting up something very important theme-wise.

Consider the pattern:

He is told about himself. "You believe that you are special, that somehow the rules do not apply to you."

He is told what is real or true. "Obviously you are mistaken." ...As in, the reality is you are not special and the rules do apply to you. Or perhaps, no one is special, the rules apply to everyone.

He is given a choice to make. A) "be at your desk on time," or B) "find another job."

He makes a decision. "Yes Mr. Rhinehart, perfectly clear."

This time around, Neo accepts what he is told and makes the choice they want him to make.

And that is how his character arc is tracked--we see how he responds to these "manipulations" and "choices." How free is his mind from relying on what others say is true, and therefore how capable he is to make his own choices.

In the first film, this same situation comes up over and over again. And it becomes so clear once you know what you're looking for.

Later he is spoken to by Agent Smith in the interrogation room. [M1 0:17:00]

You are a program writer for a respectable software company. You go by the hacker alias "Neo." You wish to do the right thing. You are interested in the future.

Reality: We need your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice. The meek programmer life has a future, the hacker life does not.

Choice: The choice is implicit--which life has a future? The programmer, who helps us, and gets his slate wiped clean. Or the hacker who's locked away for life.

Decision: How about I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call. He chooses the "hacker" life, and imprisonment.

Smith presents those truths, because if Neo believes them he will choose to help them. It's set up to manipulate Neo into effectively doing as he's told. But, as his boss said, he does have a problem with authority.

Neo rejects Smith's truths, and rebelliously chooses to not help the Agents. He's disbelieving what's presented to him in this case, but the choice is still a passive one. He accepts the inevitable, that he's going to jail, and simply wants his right to a phone call.

There's only really one time where Neo expresses his own beliefs. [M1 0:26:47]

MORPHEUS: Do you believe in fate, Neo? ... NEO: No. ... Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.

While meekly put, Neo believes--or perhaps wants to believe--that he is in control of his own life.

This is how he rejected the belief from Smith that it was inevitable that he'd give up the hacker life and embrace the programmer life. Because he's in control of his own life.

This core belief of his own is key to the movie.

In that same scene, though, Morpheus pulls the same trick as Neo's boss and Agent Smith does.

You feel like Alice tumbling down the rabbit-hole. You accept what you see because you are expecting to wake up. Reality: you are a slave, in a prison you cannot smell or taste or touch. Take the red pill and I will show you the truth. Choice: Blue pill, or red pill?

Blue pills? Red pills? It's so abstract as to have no meaning, and Morpheus doesn't really inform him to be able to knowingly make this decision in the first place. What Neo is really doing is choosing between believing Morpheus (only symbolised by taking the red pill) or not believing him (symbolised by taking the blue pill).

That's the real choice that Neo is making in all these interactions... whether he believes what he is told, or not. And looking at it from the perspective of choice...

"Believing" can be defined as "choosing to know."

People an believe in things that are proven or unproven, true or false. But they choose that it is true, and live their lives accordingly.

Neo doesn't believe in fate, not because he knows fate isn't real. But because he doesn't like the idea of fate--that he has no control over his life. He chose to know--he believes--that fate is not real.

Of course, here, the fact he'd been searching for Morpheus for who knows how long, and has gone through all the rigamarole to even get to speak to him in the first place... means he believes in Morpheus pretty implicitly at this point.

So this choice is more like a formality. A performance, where Neo pretends he knows what Morpheus is talking about, and goes through the motions of pretending to make the informed choice of taking the red pill.

This is touched on in Resurrections when Bugs speaks of her "pills" offer. "The choice is an illusion. You already know what you have to do." [M4 0:11:22]

You could look at it more like a placebo, a way of preparing his mind to be extracted and accept what is happening without imploding--because he "chose" it to happen in some way. A form of consent, while not really understanding what he is consenting to.

In the dojo, "Morpheus is fighting Neo!" Morpheus tells Neo, "You are faster than this. Don't think you are. Know you are." Reality: "I'm trying to free your mind, Neo." Speed has nothing to do with muscles, in the simulation. [M1 0:52:44]

As they fight, Neo starts to believe that. Starts to "know" he's faster than he thinks.

As Morpheus says at the jump, he is teaching Neo to "let go of fear, doubt, and disbelief." That is how to "free your mind": to believe, separate from anything your senses are telling you, beyond any evidence proving it.

That's his view, anyway. And while it's true to an extent, it's not the full picture.

This situation is made clear with a line from Morpheus in the fight.

MORPHEUS: I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it.

There's the choice. The only real choice that Neo is presented with again and again.

Morpheus shows him a truth to believe. No one can make someone else believe something by force. Only Neo can choose to believe. Choose to "walk through that door," and choose what options to take as if "knowing" it to be true.

And that is what happens over and over. Doors Neo can take, shown by people who want him to take them.

In Reloaded, the Oracle also shows him to a door--the door of light. Or at least sends him towards it. [M2 0:49:31] And the film is about how Neo gets there, and goes through that door. On the other side, the Architect offers him 2 more doors. [M2 1:56:36] The One always chooses a particular door, so surely Neo will as well? This is meant to just be a formality, like the pills.

Later the Oracle pulls the same maneuver. "You already know what I'm going to tell you." "I'm not the one." Reality: Morpheus or Neo will die. The choice is up to Neo. [M1 1:15:06]

Neo believes the Oracle. Why? Because really she didn't tell him if he was the One or not. She let him decide in that moment. And confirmed whatever he said. So of course he believes her; she only said he was right in whatever he already believes.

And he thinks he's in control of his own life, which she encourages too.

Later, when Morpheus is going to die, he decides Morpheus will live, accepting that Neo himself will die in his place somehow--just as the Oracle said. [M1 1:34:10]

It's funny, the Oracle said to Neo "You don't believe in any of this fate crap. You're in control of your own life, remember?" [M1 1:16:31] But in fact, he's really taken control of his own life because he believes in the "fate crap" she told him. (Stay tuned.)

From here on, Neo is on his own. From what he believes about himself and reality, he considers his own choices, and makes his own mind up on what to do.

Neo is not the One. Reality: Morpheus is going to be killed by pulling the plug, sacrificing himself for Neo because he believes Neo is the One. For the first time he really believes he does have a choice. He believes he can simply choose to save Morpheus and he will do so. This allows him to act, to take proactive action to make what he wants to happen, happen.

Later he sees Trinity go down in the helicopter, knowing she will die if he does nothing. But, believing he has a choice to remove the tether and save himself, or hold on and hope to save her... he decides to save her. [M1 1:50:40]

She chooses to trust in Neo in that moment too, which is part of how she is tied up in him becoming the One.

In the subway station, he starts to believe, to know he is the One. He can choose between running from and agent like he's meant to, or fighting. He decides to believe he is the One, and acts accordingly: he stands and fights. [M1 1:54:22]

This rejects Cypher's suggestion that it doesn't matter who you are, you do what they do... "Run! Run your ass off."

Smith tries to manipulate him again on the tracks. He always calls him "Mr. Anderson," telling him over and over that he's just a regular guy who pays his taxes. Reality: "That is the sound of your inevitability. That is the sound of your death." Thomas Anderson has no choice. No one can change the inevitable. [M1 1:57:42]

Neo can choose to accept the inevitable, choose to believe what Smith is saying... or choose that it's not going to happen. He decides with the line: "My name is Neo," rejecting his meek programmer self that goes along with what the world says is true. He hops out the way, Smith is run over. For the first time that anyone knows, someone has beaten an Agent!

And why? Because Neo chose to. Despite the inevitability. Despite what he's been told is true or untrue. He's beyond that now.

Like the Oracle says, "No one can tell you you're in love, you just know it. Balls to bones." [M1 1:14:14] Morpheus can tell Neo he's the One all day until he's blue in the face and it won't do any good. Neo has to just know it, to believe it, independent of any kind of argument or evidence.

"Know thyself." [M1 1:13:54] Believe whatever you want to believe about yourself. Choose to know something is true about yourself.

And now he does.

He knows he needs to exit so the Sentinels don't destroy the ship. This time he chooses to run. [M1 1:58:31]

In the hallway, Neo knows there's way too many bullets coming his way to dodge. Do they hit? He decides they don't with a simple, "No." [M1 2:04:51]

Through all the significant events of the movie, Choice is worked in again and again and again. Neo is told what to believe and given false choices to test whether he believes the "beliefs"truths" or not.

Until he "frees his mind" of what is apparently true, and even what people tell him is true. And makes his mind up, ignoring reality entirely, and essentially deciding what is true.

As Morpheus says, "Your mind makes it real." [M1 0:55:22] Only with Neo, with the One, with someone who has decided that they control what the Matrix does or does not do... it goes beyond the apparent damage to his own body. His mind makes "it" real in the Matrix. "It" being... whatever he chooses is real. He has the ability to "remake the Matrix as he sees fit." [M1 0:45:12] Because he's freed his mind to this superlative degree.

He was dead. That's reality. He--or perhaps Trinity--decided to ignore that and chose to believe he couldn't die. He would not survive three agents firing a ton of bullets at him at once. That's reality. He ignored that reality and choose to believe the bullets would not reach him.

But more than that, the other characters also interact with the theme--in a way that all feeds into the main story line of Neo becoming the One.

Morpheus chooses to know that Neo is the One. Which puts the idea in Neo's head that when he's ready, he won't have to dodge bullets.

Trinity chooses to love Neo, which somehow helps Neo believe. And her kiss saved him, brought him to life, and sort of locked in the fact that he is the One.

Cypher chooses the Matrix as a better way to live. Which is how the situation was set up for Morpheus to need saving, and for Neo to have a choice to make in the first place.

Smith loves "inevitability," where no choice can have any impact. Which gave Neo a clear thing to reject. He chose that he did have a choice. Which is kind of what encompasses "The One" as a concept.

Which brings us to the Oracle.

Did you notice that what the Oracle said was not true? Neither Morpheus nor Neo died. And Neo was the One. It turns out that she's not telling their futures in the first place.

As Morpheus says after Neo saves Trinity: "She told you exactly want you needed to hear, that's all." [M1 1:51:53] Really what she is doing is the same thing everyone is doing to Neo. She tells people what to believe. Why? So that they make certain choices.

All she needs for this to work is for them to believe what she tells them. And they do because she's "The Oracle." I man... she's called "The Oracle," so she must be right... right?

Morpheus goes on to say... "There is a difference between knowing a path, and walking a path." Those that see the Oracle:

Come away thinking they've been told what their path is. They think they "know the path."

Believing that causes them to behave in accordance with that belief. Moves them to make certain choices they wouldn't have made before.

Those choices naturally lead them to "walk the path" the Oracle wants them to walk down.

It's pure manipulation. Just like the Matrix. Just like most of the characters in this film.

Most of the things people believe in this film simply are not true. Many are false. Some are unproven. But they are believed anyway, and pushed onto Neo to believe them as well.

These "truths," these "beliefs"... they don't free his mind. He still cannot see for himself what is true, he needs someone or something outside of himself--Morpheus, the Oracle, electrical signals piped into his brain--to tell him what reality is.

Looked at a certain way, it's a "prison for his mind" he cannot perceive. People tell him what is true, to make it more inevitable he will make certain choices.

But Neo does get onto the path of eventually becoming the One because of what the Oracle has gotten various people to believe--her manipulations worked.

Finally though, he becomes the One by choosing for himself to be the One. Seeing his own reality, seeing the code around him. Choosing for bullets to stop. Choosing to live. Choosing to fly into Agent Smith, and choosing for Agent Smith to flippin' explode from the inside!

His mind is finally free... of believing what anyone tells him, of relying on others to tell him what is true and what is false, of making choices based on what others decide he should do.

The Matrix is dripping with theme. And there's more to discover along these lines if you look hard enough in just this one film!

But does not beat you round the head with it. At no point is a character just talking about the concept of "Choice" and "Belief" what it all means. It's all-story, all-the-time! And only when you stop and think about it, does it really become clear.

To me, that's the ideal way of exploring theme in a film. Not through exposition, but between the lines of the events of the story itself.

Which brings us to Matrix: RE. (Reloaded, Revolutions, and Resurrections.) Continue reading about the themes of the Matrix.

[realitytvbacheloredition]

We See What the Producers Want us to See

Everyone knows that reality television is somewhat scripted and obviously not completely accurate. However, it goes to such an extreme extent for shows like this. The producers film every hour of every single day for the six to nine weeks that contestants are there. Meanwhile, only one hour episodes are released each week. This leaves tons and tons of footage for the producers to sort through. They obviously do not pick scenes where the girls are being normal/boring, or getting along. This constant surveillance makes you think that something real would be shown, right? Wrong! In fact, “reality television situates surveillance as an explicit technology of confession and elides the editing and production process to affirm agency over presentations of the self (participants often claim the edited and produced version of themselves as a product of their own making)’’ (Lindefield, 2013). They agree to the show and are essentially signing up to be willfully objectified for more views. At the end of the day, being a reality television star is all about the company itself and the money. The Bachelor Industry needs to make sure that people will continue watching the show, so they portray “cat fights” and fights and tears to make sure people are interested. They do not show them getting along or really being kind to each other, because what about that is dramatic? 

This selective surveillance also has detrimental effects on women. People see women being nasty to each other on the show, and take it immediately to social media. For example, in season twenty five of the bachelor, a contestant named Victoria Larson was heavily made into a villain. I personally watched this season myself, and noticed that every single time she was on the screen, she was always saying something nasty to another girl. She also got a lot of hate from the other girls competing, as they called her dramatic and mean. The viewers immediately picked up on this. They did not like her whatsoever, and complained about her through several different social media platforms. People started insulting her left and right, and even went as far to insult her appearance. They think they have the full picture from a few clips on their favorite television show, and run with it. In actual reality, they have no idea who this girl really is behind the cameras and have no right to be insulting her and trashing her for the whole world to see. There was a theory going on that the producers kept her on the show longer than she should have been because she brought so much attention and caused so much drama, that it was incredibly entertaining for fans. I fully believe in this theory. Victoria Larson herself even spoke on this, and mentioned that she hated being on the bachelor and was not in control of her own actions. She reported that people were purposefully rude to her when they saw her in person, as well as that she received harassment online constantly (Siwak, 2022). She also claimed that some of the rude actions she committed on the show were not even her ideas, but the producers (Siwak, 2022). This interview with Larson really proves to us that the producers are in control of everything. They choose how they want each of the women to be represented. My mind goes to younger and/or teenage girls watching the show. Their representation of women finding love must be shattered. They think that they have to be mean to other girls and be the prettiest and skinniest in order to get a man, which is not at all true. This show essentially ruins all the good representation women have, whether it is staged or not. By not portraying all of the truth (or any of it, really) people get these false ideas in their head. If anything, this show just emphasizes the sexualization and moodiness of women, which is not the case off camera.

[therealvinelle]

I know this is like taking a bat to the beehive but... I really wanna hear your opinions on the whole... Imprinting thing

(Note before we go any further: this meta is written purely about the shapeshifting aspect of the Quileute characters, I don’t at all get into the racism in Twilight or any kind of social commentary. This is a purely watsonian meta. Others in this fandom have already addressed the racial dynamics at play, far more eloquently and knowledgeably than me. If I say something in here that’s in any way offensive, that’s not my intention and I’m open to criticism.)

Ooh imprinting.

I touch upon it here, basically I hate it.

The imprinting is part of this theme where the shapeshifters lose their free will and autonomy, and I find it tragic, cruel, and unnecessary.

First of, the fact that they have to phase at all.

They’re made warriors to protect their tribe. There’s no choice involved, only genetics and magic irrevocably changing their lives, and at a ridiculously young age, too. Sam is the oldest of them, and he is 19.

Violence is an inherent part of what they become. Their purpose is to protect the tribe, by fighting vampires. Not only is this insanely dangerous (we see Jake get so injured by a single vampire that he’s bedridden for weeks), but if they succeed, they will have killed. In the singularly brutal manner of tearing apart and burning someone who looks a lot like a human, who talks and might beg for their life, at that. And I remind you, most of these shapeshifters are literal children. They might not see vampires as people, but all the same, killing one can’t be good for their mental wellbeing. (Thought: Perhaps an argument can be made for Laurent’s death having a part in the turn Jake’s personality took? Some, though not many, of the symptoms for PTSD do fit. I don’t know enough about PTSD to pursue this train of thought, but it occurred to me just now, in particular he becomes quite aggressive and prone to outbursts after that incident, so into a parenthesis it goes)

Not to mention how inhumane that responsibility is. Vampires in the Twilight-verse are terrifying, and the shapeshifters might have the power to fight them. But (and this is where I plug one of my all-time favorite animes, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, as it asks the question “Is it okay to sacrifice yourself for others?” because that’s... well there’s a parallel to be made to the shapeshifters. It’s on Netflix!) does that mean they should? Is it really their responsibility? Again- they’re kids!

Then there’s the time Sam lost control, and accidentally mauled the girl he loved. And it’s so cruel to both him and Emily. Sam never chose to have to control himself in the first place, he never chose shapeshifting. He didn’t choose to imprint on Emily either, and he didn’t choose to lose control that day. At no point in the series of events that led to Emily being mauled did Sam have any real choice, and yet he will shoulder the guilt for what happened for the rest of his life.

These kids get superpowers, and several of them seem to enjoy being shapeshifters, but the fact remains that they now carry this huge responsibility to protect their families and homes, doing so is incredibly dangerous, they lose out on their regular lives, and they can’t opt out of it.

This all sucks, but then we get to the fact that they are deprived of their free will, as their alpha can issue an order they physically can’t break. The alpha becomes alpha because of bloodlines, not because of a democratic election. Jake got a mockery of a choice in that he could choose to become alpha himself, or let Sam continue, which was really just choosing between a rock and a hard place. There is no limitation to what this order can be, from “don’t say X to person Y” to “let’s kill someone you love”. Jake has to struggle to break that last one, and he’s only successful because of the bloodline thing letting him become his own alpha.

Oh, and there’s the massive invasion of privacy when they have a hive mind. Cool concept, less cool to have it be reality. Leah is the poster child for how a hive mind can backfire, and they can’t opt out of this.

I’m not good at gifs, but the shapeshifters just make me think of that gif of someone flicking a lightswitch on and off, “WELCOME TO HELL!”. Of course, Twilight in general is a pit of despair for everybody, so I suppose that gif really is... well it sums up all of canon.

So, we have these kids aged 19 or younger, as of Breaking Dawn they skew as young as thirteen, their lives are turned upside down by something they can’t opt out of, they must shoulder this huge responsibility to protect their homes and families from the terrifying threat of vampires, and on top of all of that, they must obey orders that are so irresistible, they can compel them to harm someone they care for.

With all of that in mind, you’d think that the shapeshifters had enough on their plate. That through all of this they would at least retain their selves, and be able to look forward to a future where they could stop phasing, and go on to live normal, human, lives.

Yeah, NOT IF THEY IMPRINT.

I’ll just quote Jake’s description:

Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the halfvampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was—my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self—disconnected from me in that second—snip, snip, snip—and floated up into space. 

I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was. 

Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing—to the very center of the universe. 

I could see that now—how the universe swirled around this one point. I’d never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain. 

The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. (Breaking Dawn, page 237)

Everything that made me who I was disconnected from me.

Jake’s love for his father, his home, his very own self, it’s all gone now. And while I have thoughts on the authenticity of this imprint, whether it was organic, the description above is apparently how imprinting feels. It’s along the lines of what Sam, Jared, and Paul all describe.

I don’t think I can put into words just how devastating I find imprinting, I think the above quotation speaks for itself. And as with all other shapeshifter things, there is no choice involved.

We see its devastating effects in the Emily, Sam, and Leah debacle. Sam and Leah were serious together, so much so that they were engaged. Sam had fallen for and chosen to be with Leah. Perhaps they would have broken up eventually, but Leah was still the choice he made. Then he imprints on Emily, and all that is for naught. He had to break up with Leah, who if she hadn’t phased never would have learned why, Emily and Leah’s relationship is ruined, and Emily must forever live with the knowledge that if Sam had his free will intact he would be with another woman.

Then there’s Jared and Kim. Kim crushed on Jared, but Jared never noticed her. The fact that they were in the same class is damning: if a boy is attracted to a girl, he's gonna notice her. Jared never did.

Quil imprints on Claire, who is a toddler. That’s just a recipe for misery and disaster all around.

And I’ve only touched the shapeshifter side of things. They lose their autonomy and freedom, but the imprintées draw the short straw too. They’re now responsible for this other person’s happiness. Sure, having someone who’ll be whatever you need them to be sounds nice (well, it sounds horrifying, but I’m playing ball) on paper, but you can’t opt out of them being like that. The imprintée can’t say “Sorry, not interested,” and she certainly can’t shut the imprinter out of her life, not without irrevocably ruining the imprinter’s life. The imprinter needs her. She’s the center of his earth now, but she didn’t choose to be.

Imprinting is a liferuiner for everyone involved.

Then we have the question of what imprinting is even for. I’m afraid I agree with Billy, that it’s for procreation. We see Sam, who was dating a woman about to phase (even if Leah isn’t infertile, she’s a warrior now. She can’t run in the woods and fight vampires, and gestate and nurse a child at the same time) conveniently imprint on her cousin, who as cousin to Leah is from a shifter bloodline. Claire, as Emily’s cousin, has those same genetics. Paul imprints on a woman from the Black family line. Jake is the outlier, but either Renesmée’s gift helped that imprinting along, or he imprinted because of the offspring they could potentially have (I firmly believe it’s the former because the latter... NOPE. Also, I can’t imagine whatever magic drives imprinting would want vampiric progeny for the future generations. Regardless of Renesmée’s person, her biology is wired to desire human blood. That’s exactly what Jake is supposed to protect people from. Bad match.).

I just.... ughhh. God, I hate imprinting so much, and on every level.

To me, everything about the shapeshifters is about free will, autonomy, and the loss thereof. And it would have been beautiful if their story was about reclaiming that, but it isn’t. None of this, with the exception of the alpha orders, is even acknowledged.

So, in summation, yes I hate imprinting, but it’s only the horror cherry on top of a very sad and problematic cake.

[d-criss-news]

20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11.  What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

[jadelotusflower]

Robin Hood Rewatch: 3x10 - Bad Blood

aka Retcon: The Episode, aka Childhood Trauma, aka Daddy Issues

Kate, not being in this episode, is safe from my ire week - this time it is directed towards Malcolm, the worst father in the world. I’m aware that this rewatch has devolved from a commentary into a litany of complaints, so proceed with caution.

Again, they should have called this episode Sins of the Father instead of 3x04.

Guy is very nervous walking around the forest, carrying a makeshift bow and arrow. Robin finds him and they draw their swords instead of trying to shoot each other.

I think it’s pretty clear now that we’ll never see Robin’s scimitar again - it was left in the Holy Land and he carries a broadsword now. Just another confirmation that the Robin of season 1-2 has been all but erased.

But before we can get to our once-a-season Robin/Guy smackdown, they both get shot with sleeping darts from a unknown assailant.

Credits! Where we don’t get our usual cast, since they won’t be appearing in this episode. Instead we get the guest stars, and all the clips are of Robin and Guy, which is quite well done actually.

This episode is written by Lisa Holdsworth, who wrote Let the Games Commence earlier this season.

Robin and Guy wake up around a fire, where a hooded figure with a raspy voice wants to tell them a story. We know it’s Malcolm, and that the boys don’t figure that out when he starts to tell the story that only he and a dead woman would know, is a choice.

“Everyone knew that we both became orphans that day.” Everyone except the audience!

And we’re into the flashback, helpfully “twenty years earlier” where Malcolm and Ghislaine are meeting in secret. “Ghislaine of Gisborne” has real Julia Goolia vibes. She’s played by Sophie Winkleman, who was older Susan in Narnia 2005 - and Lady Susan in Sanditon if you like coincidences.

Teenage Guy is rather creepily spying on them.

Back in the present, Robin refuses to believe it and is likely projecting a little when he steadfastly declares his father “loved one woman only.”

We don’t know what happened to Robin’s mother - my headcanon is that she died in childbirth.

Guy accuses Robin of being shielded from reality by Malcolm, and...yes? Generally parents try to shield their eight (ten?) year old children from the ills of the world?

There’s was a feast at Locksley, and we see little Isabella, even if she gets no lines the entire episode. And wait...if Robin and Isabella knew each other as children, and appear to be around the same age, why was this never mentioned before now? I know, it hadn’t been thought of yet, but this should have played heavily into their dynamic.

Missing from the flashback who should have been there: Edward and Marian - I would have liked a nice little scene with Robin and Marian bickering or something, but maybe they didn’t want to visibly put teenage Guy next to small child Marian.

It’s conceivable they wouldn’t be at a feast in Gisborne, but Much absolutely should have been there. There’s no excuse for him not to be, other than they wanted to hone in on Robin and Guy.

The bailiff Longthorn arrives to ask who will be lord now that Ghislaine’s husband has been declared dead, and when she says herself he argues that the land should be returned to the Locksley holdings

Malcolm is referred to “Lord Locksley” - isn’t he an Earl? Lord Huntingdon, surely? Anyway he chooses not to take the lands back.

Alright, my next pet peeve. Robin’s recurve bow. I suppose it was never explicit that he got it himself in the Holy Land, only that Luke Scarlett was unfamiliar with it - which technically works since he wouldn’t have been born at the time on this flashback. But if Robin had been kicking around with that thing for years, surely it wouldn’t be such a novelty?

And where did Malcolm get it? Did he fight in the crusades too? I know it’s pedantic to keep bringing history into a show that is deliberately ahistorical, but this flashback would be taking place around 1174-5, when there was no active conflict in which England was involved in the Holy Land, and there’s no indication that Roger went there for either pilgrimage or penance.

The recurve bow as an inheritance from his useless father takes away from the character beat of Robin acquiring knowledge and respect on his own journey, and I hate that it’s been repurposed like this.

So we get to the purpose of this episode: junior jerk Robin and sullen sadboi Guy, to make us think that hey teen Guy wasn’t so bad after all, and ugh, child Robin sucks. It’s just so...inelegant.

I actually think Charlie Row is a good fit for young Robin, but Tommy Bastow as young Guy is less of a match.

Robin shows off trying to shoot down a lantern and instead the fire wheel comes crashing down on a priest - he then denies he was responsible.

Longthorn blames Guy and throws his misogyny around, wanting him hanged to hurt Ghislaine. Malcolm is comically inept despite ostensibly being the well respected Earl, and Roger arrives to exert his status as lord of the manor. Longthorn stabs his hand and Roger shows no pain, Ghislaine arrives to say the priest will live, and Guy is freed.

Robin of the present claims that he made a mistake and the incident made him a better man, child Robin is penitent at his mother’s grave. He confesses to his father the hypocrite, who tells Robin he must take responsibility when he’s done something wrong.

As an explanation for Why Robin Is The Way He is, there’s just not enough in this for me.

Ghislaine and Malcolm meet in the forest, and he’s figured out Roger has leprosy. And uh oh, she’s preggers, and too far along to pass it off as Roger’s. Longthorn is spying from the woods, and wow are these two terrible at secret meetings.

Malcolm seizes on the opportunity to cast Roger out and marry Ghislaine himself, what a creep. Not so keen on applying that taking responsibility speech to himself and his unborn child, is he?

Back at Locksley Gisborne Manor, Roger is sitting by the fire. I know they just repurposed the Locksley set and it’s not actually meant to be the same house, but they didn’t even remove the Locksley crest from the mantle.

He knows about the affair, but is remarkably sanguine about it - and we have the comparison of Guy’s father = pretty decent fellow, and Robin’s father = dick.

Roger is condemned as a leper, including by the priest Ghislaine saved. She declares herself a widow. He is unable to climb out of the grave by himself and Malcolm helps him - an act that makes him seem generous to the people, when we know it’s his fault Roger has been cast out. I really can’t express how much I hate Malcolm.

Guy, distressed, tries to follow and Malcolm stops him, reminding us that not only has Malcolm’s actions hurt Ghislaine - a woman he claims to love - but he has taken a father away from Guy and Isabella, all for his own selfish ends.

Robin declares he won’t go in a leper’s house, and this is where I feel the characterisation doesn’t square with his future self - hubris, self-aggrandizing and showing off, sure, but Robin at his core is kind, particularly to those below him, in a way that seems more innate that acquired. Yes he’s still a child, and the plot of this episode is that he “learned” to be better because of these events, but it just doesn’t ring true for me.

Not that I think Robin does anything terribly bad this episode - he’s a brat at worst and still a child, but it seems a deliberate turn of the narrative to position him as the cause of Guy’s ruin in a way that is reminiscent of Once Upon a Time and the villianisation of child Snow.

“Imagine you had lost what he had lost.” I mean, we just saw a scene of Robin at his mother’s grave? He has indeed previously lost what Guy has just lost?

Longthorn arrives to blackmail Malcolm and Ghislaine - he wants the Gisborne lands or he’ll blab about the baby. Malcolm’s plan is to agree to hold him off, then quickly marry her so the lands become his. Either Malcolm is just stupid or is again forming plans that suit him best - he could simply say that now that Roger’s been stripped of his holdings he’s exerting his right to reclaim Gisborne after all.

Even if Longthorn did tell everyone about the baby, I hardly think it would be that big of a scandal, so long as they married before the child was born. Again, Malcolm’s the Earl! He has immense privilege and power! A lowly bailiff is hardly going to be an obstacle!

Teen Giz sees Ghislaine visit Roger at the leper colony, and is quite rightly angry that she forbids Guy from seeing him but goes herself.

He confronts her and suggests they all go back to France, but she goes into labour.

Baby Archer has a birthmark of an arrow on his chest. Malcolm takes him away to give to a random mustache.

Back at the leper colony, Guy tells Roger about the wedding and accuses him of not fighting for their family.

Robin is practicing his archery and sees Roger, rushing to tell everyone about it and Longthorn whips up the mob. Just to make sure Guy has a “valid” reason to hate Robin, I guess.

Guy accidentally starts a fire trying to keep Malcolm away, then gets the silent Isabella out (seriously, why does Isabella get absolutely no attention in the flashbacks?).

Malcolm finds Roger with Ghislaine upstairs, the men fight and the Robin/Marian/Guy parallel could not be more on the nose.

Ghialaine really has no agency granted to her at all - she starts out strong declaring she will be the “lady of the manor” but then spends the flashback drawn along by the whims of Malcolm and Roger as she vacillates between them, has her baby taken away, and then dies.

Robin tries to go inside to his father, but is retrained by the priest. Guy just stands there, and in the present day laments that he should have gone in to save his mother.

Malcolm reveals that she was already dead, as when she tries to stop him killing Roger he pushes her away and she hits her head. Okay, so it could get more on the nose.

In the present, Guy tries to strangle Robin - his impeccable logic being since Malcolm is already dead, he can kill Robin in his stead. Malcolm reveals that the former isn’t true.

Because it turns out Roger couldn’t bring himself to kill Malcolm, instead he just wants to die with Ghislaine. 

Robin throws Guy off, claiming that his father never would have left him alone. Malcolm reveals himself, heavily scarred from the fire, and Robin’s heart visibly breaks.

“How could I be your father, after what I’d done?” Um...maybe that’s when you most needed to be his father, Malcolm? Not leave your small child all alone because of your selfishness? Take responsibility for your actions? Try to atone? Look after Isabella and Guy after you made them orphans? How about that?

The same could be said of Roger, choosing to lay down and die rather than be there for his own children. Sins of the father(s) indeed.

Guy gets to be relieved of guilt, thinking he started the fire that killed his parents, Malcolm asks that Guy and Robin forgive each other, for the sake of their brother.

“You lost the right to call me son when you left me alone in the world.” Good response from Robin, but then Malcolm has the AUDACITY to say “but didn’t it make you the man you are today?”

Because you see, this traumatic childhood event was character building for Robin! That makes it all okay!

Longthorn tries to seize Gisborne, but the priest points out that they should revert to the Locksley holdings and their new master: Robin.

There’s something almost interesting going on with the priest here - he’s on Robin’s side, he wants to help him, and we can infer that he becomes a mentor to Robin in the following years, perhaps where he acquires his religious fervor and desire to go on crusade. I just think there were so many other interesting stories to tell about a Robin/Guy backstory but we got stuck with this secret baby nonsense.

Robin Refuses the Call and runs away to his mother’s grave. She is not named in this episode and is only a narrative device, another missed opportunity.

But instead Robin hears his useless father’s voice: “you shouldn’t stand by and let something terrible happen because you were too scared to do the right thing.” A more compelling narrative would have been child Robin learning of his father’s actions and realising he’s a fallen idol, therefore being compelled and committed not to repeat his mistakes - instead we have Robin buying into his platitudes even though we know Malcolm to be a hypocritical pos.

And the bow APPEARS FROM FUCKING NOWHERE WITH A SHAFT OF HEAVENLY LIGHT. Come on, show. The bow was absolutely not there in the preceding shot, there is no rational explanation for its appearance.

Holdsworth took Campbell’s Supernatural Aid quite literally, apparently.

Robin returns to the village where Longthorn’s men are already terrorising the people, and does anyone else think this should have been a young Vaisey? Perhaps that’s too much of a coincidence, although it would make a kind of sense - he is ousted by Robin as a boy, goes on to do dastardly deeds and return 15 years later and assume the role he coveted and more.

It probably wouldn’t have worked from a Guy perspective, given he tried have him hanged, unless that actually played into Guy’s twisted relationship with him - playing on his resentment.

Robin declares that he will care for the people as his father intended, ironically exerting more authority than Malcolm managed in the opening scene. You know you suck as a lord when an eight (ten?) year old is more effective.

The priest villagers support Robin, and he basks in their love.

In the present, Robin declares he can never forgive Guy “because he showed no remorse for what he did to Marian.” It’s interesting how his language has already shifted from anger at him killing Marian, to a grudge because he doesn’t show remorse for killing her.

Guy deflects, and Robin says he killed for the Sheriff for years, to which Guy implies they should be grateful for him because otherwise they’d still be under his rule, and Robin is surprised to learn this? They didn’t know Guy killed Vaisey? Who else would it have been?!?

Malcolm tells them Archer is in York jail ready to be executed. WHY DON’T YOU GO SAVE HIM THEN YOU USELESS PRICK? Oh he’s too sick and dying, well boo hoo. Clean up your own mess Malcolm.

I mean just the AUDACITY to run away, leave your small child with a huge responsibility thinking his parents are dead, and never make contact with him or try to help him until your other son gets in a sticky spot, then you dump the problem in your first born’s lap, insist he work with the man he has every reason to hate, and peace out. Malcolm is THE WORST.

Robin is however moved, and embraces Malcolm. Instead of returning it, or taking the time to talk to his son who has just magnanimously forgiven him, Malcolm sticks him with another sleeping dart. A complete waste of space until the end, slinking off into the shadows instead of lifting a finger to help either of his children. Worst. Father. Ever.

Seeing this, Guy says “look, I really have no desire to see you again” which is a brief light in an episode absolutely devoid of humour, but still gets shot and gives an exasperated look before passing out.

I am just baffled that it was written this way instead of Malcolm just dropping dead for whatever reason at that moment. I mean, where does he go after this? What does he do? How awful for Robin to wake up after being reunited with his father, finding out that father is a terrible person, and just go on not knowing what actually happened to him.

Guy and Robin head off to York to rescue Archer, who unfortunately takes after Malcolm in the character department.

I just am sad about this episode. I LOVE an flashback episode. I am a sucker for a flashback episode. This was just...a waste of a flashback episode, solely to setup this secret half-brother to Robin and Guy to bypass any actual character development and make them allies of necessity, but without actually exploring anything about them by revealing their pasts.

I don’t object to them having grown up together - in fact that’s interesting! But instead we spend the episode with Malcolm, Ghislaine, and Roger instead of Robin and Guy, with only the barest lip service to explaining why they became the men they did.

But I suppose why does it matter at this point, we’re steamrolling to the end of the season to put us out of our misery.

[purrincess-chat]

No one asked, but I want to talk about the BB idea I didn't choose because Idk if I will ever actually write it, but I like the concept.

Wandavision AU

I've seen people do this with Chat Blanc where Adrien plays the role of Wanda, but let's flip the script.

Still CB timeline, but this time Marinette actually gets akumatized. Adrien isn't fast enough, and Hawkmoth convinces her to give in. He gives her the power to rewrite reality to her liking so that she can be with the one she loves. Marinette says lol okay, and rewrites reality around Paris to suit her fantasy.

She and Adrien wake up in a perfect world as young adults. They are married and living together in their beautiful house with the hamster. Marinette is an up-and-coming fashion designer. Adrien models for her brand. They're happy and in love.

Everything seems perfect, but it isn't.

Adrien can't remember his childhood. He has no memory of his father, just his mother who died when he was young. There are no traces of Ladybug and Chat Noir anywhere. No one has even heard of them. Every time he tries to bring it up, something always gets in the way. Marinette getting pregnant, the birth of their daughter, Marinette's career, nosy neighbors.

Which brings us to Alix. Alix visits them often, dropping hints here and there to Adrien, hoping to wake him up to the fact that this life isn't real, but Marinette always intervenes.

Adrien starts to get suspicious when he notices how empty the streets are. Shop owners are only around when they need them to be. His memories are spotty. He doesn't even remember getting married. Or graduating lycee.

When he expresses his concerns to Marinette, she brushes them off, stating that he graduated top of their class, and they married after Marinette finished university. They even have pictures, see? As they are arguing, Alix shows up, and Adrien gets annoyed that they always seem to get interrupted conveniently.

Alix brings in an old magazine, stating that she found it in her closet and thought they might enjoy it. It's an old Mode with Adrien on the cover, dressed in Gabriel brand. Adrien doesn't remember shooting it, but Alix says he must have because he's there wearing his father's brand. Adrien says that it's impossible because his father was... he can't remember. Why can't he remember this?

Marinette pauses reality and moves herself and Alix to the top of the Eiffel Tower where she demands to know how Alix got the magazine. Alix admits she bought it this morning and reveals herself to actually be Bunnix, come from the future to fix reality. She starts to remind Marinette that she's akumatized, but Marinette cuts her off by stating that she has everything under control. Bunnix states that this isn't real life, and this isn't who Marinette is. Doesn't she want to defeat Hawkmoth?

Marinette states that she has written Hawkmoth and Gabriel Agreste out of this reality, so no one can get in their way. Hawkmoth is gone, so what's the big deal? The big deal, Bunnix says, is that Marinette is being selfish and holding everyone hostage, including Adrien. Marinette says that Adrien is finally happy and free, but Bunnix shoots back that he's being held captive in a different way now.

Marinette refuses to see it and tells Bunnix to stay out of her way, or else she'll erase her too. Marinette returns home to Adrien who was worried when Marinette and Alix disappeared. Marinette insists that they just stepped out for a moment. Adrien asks about the magazine, but Marinette states that Alix was just playing a prank on them.

Things come to a head when Bunnix interrupts Marinette's fashion show, stating that she can't let Marinette do this anymore. Marinette is pissed, and she and Bunnix spar. Bunnix begins showing clips from their past, memories they had together, and Adrien is bothered that he can't remember. Bunnix states that he can't remember, none of them can, because Marinette doesn't want them too. Because then they would know how wrong this reality is.

Marinette fights back that she has made everyone happy. Everyone in paris is safe and cared for, but Bunnix reminds her that this isn't real life, and she doesn't get to dictate reality. She's heartbroken and akumatized, and she needs to surrender so things can progress the way they're supposed to.

Marinette refuses and the two battle some more. Marinette defeats Bunnix, but Adrien finds her in the aftermath and asks if all of it is true, and if it is, why would she do this? Marinette tells him that they were together, but his father ordered her to break up with him. She loves him so much that she couldn't stand it. When Hawkmoth offered her a way to be with him again, she took it. She reveals her akuma form, and Adrien says that this reality is wrong, even if it makes them both happy. Marinette knows. She just doesn't want to lose him. Adrien says that if their love is true, which he believes it is, then they will always find a way in the end.

Marinette is afraid that there isn't anything they can do to fix things since his dad is a stonewall, but Adrien says he would wait a million years to be with her if he had to. Marinette kisses him, and when they pull away they're 14 again. Marinette resets reality back to the rainy day outside his house, and the two embrace. Adrien promises that theyll fix this one way or another before, she breaks out of her fantasy. She snaps the umbrella over her knee and deakumatizes herself.

She rushes off to transform and capture the akuma, and Bunnix pops out to thank her for doing the right thing. Marinette admits that she doesnt want to be with Adrien that way. Their love is strong, and they'll find a way. But if Bunnix is willing to share her actual odds... Bunnix laughs and wishes her luck before disappearing back into her burrow.

Marinette returns to the mansion and tells Adrien that she broke up with him because his father demanded it. Adrien is stunned, and pleads with his father to reconsider. Gabriel doesn't know what happened exactly or how his plan failed so epically, but he gets unsettled looking at Marinette. He "decides" that if it makes Adrien happy, they can continue to be together. Adrien and Marinette are relieved, and Gabriel is extra wary of Marinette from then on because what the hell happened, what are you?

[chimchimsauce]

XS - II (First Impressions)

“Give me just a little bit MORE”

Being the son of the largest gang in the country, Kim Taehyung might as well be a prince. He is more powerful than any one man should be and is not afraid to get rid of anything - or anyone that gets in his way.

So when a man is unable to pay back the gigantic loan he owes Taehyung, the heir is all too happy to take his life. Moments away from pulling the trigger, a girl more beautiful than he’s ever seen bursts in and offers her life for her father’s. Taehyung knows right away that he wants her.

And Taehyung gets everything he wants.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

When YN wakes up, she's alone. For a moment, everything is okay. Her eyes flutter open and she stares up at the tall ceiling, a crystal chandelier throwing rainbows across her face. She sits up and silk slides down her skin, pooling at her waist.

She blinks, temporary confusion washing over her.

Where is she?

It hits her like a truck. She's been kidnapped. Or, rather, she's traded herself to a trigger happy stranger in exchange for her parents' lives. Her parents. A pit forms in her stomach just thinking about them. She has no real way of knowing if her "fiance" plans to go back on their deal or not. Her parents could be dead right now, bleeding out on their dingy kitchen floor with no one the wiser.

YN feels nauseous. She scrambles out of bed and heads to one of the doors in the opulent room, pulling it open. Unfortunately, it's not a bathroom, so she shuts it immediately, opening another and stumbling inside. She barely makes it to the toilet before spilling her guts, retching over the golden seat until nothing but air comes up. Her fingers tremble against the cold metal and porcelain, barely able to maintain a grip on it.

"Are you done?" a cool voice calls out from the doorframe.

YN would have startled if she wasn't so worn out. The best she can do is lift her head and wipe her mouth, glancing towards the source of the sound. The man staring at her is vaguely familiar, large nosed and sharp jawed, handsome in a way that's hard to pull off. For a second, she can't place her finger on it, and then she looks at his tatted hands and shrinks back.

He was the man who held a knife to her throat.

YN's fear must be evident on her face because this man - what was his name again? - grins sinisterly, tightening his loose hands into fists.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt ya," he says in direct contrast to his body language, "The boss likes you too much for me to get away with it."

YN swallows, a terrible taste on her tongue. It almost makes her want to puke again, but she doesn't have anything else left in her.

"He wants to see you," he says, "So you better clean yourself up. First impressions are important."

First impressions?

He doesn't give YN any time to ask questions before disappearing just as quickly as he came.

YN stands on shaky feet, stumbling over to the sink. She looks at her expressing, wincing at the face that stares back at her. Her skin is blotchy and discolored, red eyes looking at her sadly. There's blood on her clothes and ugly bruises from where she'd been manhandled. She can only look at her reflection for a few seconds before she has to look away, not wanting to face the reality of her situation.

Still, the body guard's words get her moving, so YN splashes water on her face, grabbing a towel from the rack by the shower and drying off. She takes a whiff of her shirt and cringes. Honestly, she smells terrible, heady with blood, sweat, and tears. Apparently, a quick splash of water will not be enough, especially if she has to make a "good impression".

She's hesitant to strip down in this place, especially since she doesn't even know if this is going to be her room or not. Still, she turns on the water as hot as it can go, watching with begrudging awe as water pounds down from the ceiling like a waterfall.

YN exits the bathroom, taking in the bedroom for the first time. It almost looks like a princess' room, white and gold with decorative molding on the walls. The carpet is soft and plush, YN's feet sinking into it.

She feels so out of place here and it only amplifies her anxiety about this situation. She doesn't know anything about her captors or even where she is. Taking a shuddering breath, YN finds her way back to the room she was in just minutes ago, switching on the light to reveal a closet bigger than her entire childhood bedroom. It's filled to the brim with clothes, shoes, and accessories that tell her with one glance that they're all designer.

YN doesn't know if she is even allowed to touch anything but she doesn't really have any other choices. She picks the least flashy thing she can find and pulls it off of the rack, surprised that it's her size. Does her captor have a sister? Or worse, a girlfriend?

The last thing YN needs right now is enemies, so she closes her eyes and prays that this is just a coincidence.

She stands under the water pressure, watching the water turn pink and her skin grow raw. There's some delicious smelling shower gel that she uses to wash off the memory of what happened as best she can. She washes her hair, taking her time to detangle it with her fingers and message her scalp, trying to let her thoughts float away with the steam. YN knows that she can't stay in here forever, though, and the fear of Tats coming back has her turning off the water and stepping out, wrapping herself in a warm towel.

Once again, she glances in the mirror. She definitely looks better at first glance, but the look in her eyes is vacant, soulless. YN bites her lip, tightening the towel around her.

"You can do this," she whispers to herself, "Everything will be okay."

She doesn't believe it, not at all, but she has nothing to comfort herself but her own words. YN looks away from her reflection and brushes her teeth with an unopened set of brushes and paste she found, rinsing with mouthwash to get rid of that horrid taste in her mouth.

YN pulls the clothing she picked out on, feeling the soft fabric on her skin. She doesn't know what to do with her hair so she pulls one of the many drawers open and manages to find some products. Creepily, they're the exact same ones she normally uses, along with some expensive looking conditioners and sprays she's never heard of.

Before she can begin, the bathroom door swings open, causing YN to knock her head against the underside of the sink. She curses loudly, tears gathering in her eyes.

"Madame! I am so sorry!" A feminine voice calls out, "I didn't mean to startle you. Boss sent me to help you get ready for dinner."

Dinner? Is it so late in the day already? She could have sworn that it was midday based on the light seeping through the windows.

YN pulls her head out from under the sink and looks at the woman. She's rather short and dressed plainly in black slacks and a black polo. Her hair is clipped in a sleek bob, brushing just under her soft jawline. She's rather beautiful.

"Who are you?" YN asks her.

She's already had enough of people barging into the bathroom.

"My name is Yoonji. Boss has assigned me to help get you adjusted to life here. If you need anything at all, call me to help you."

YN sits on the floor, looking at the woman before nodding her head. Might as well.

"Let me get your hair, madame," Yoonji says, rushing over and pulling out hair products.

YN wants to protest but she's tired and Yoonji's touch is feather light, styling it into something more fancy than YN would usually do.

"Is that what you plan on wearing?" Yoongi asks pleasantly.

Even though her tone is nice, YN can tell what she's suggesting.

"Should I change?" YN asks as Yoongi puts the final touches on her hair, adding pretty diamond studded clips.

"Let me grab something for you."

Yoonji leaves and comes back in a flash, holding a midnight blue evening gown.

"This will be more appropriate for dinner with boss and his parents."

"This . . . boss of yours," YN says, choosing her words carefully, "Who is he exactly? What does he do? Why am I here?"

Yoonji smiles at YN again, but YN can tell that it's more forced than before.

"Everything will be revealed in time. Don't worry about it. Boss is a good man."

YN highly doubts that considering he was only moments away from murdering her parents last time she saw him but she swallows and smiles at her, knowing that she doesn't have any allies right now.

Since her hair has been done up so opulently, Yoonji helps YN out of her clothes and slips her into the beautiful dress. She has no energy to feel embarrassed as she stands there in her underwear (thankfully she found some new sets, all still with the tags on) too emotionally worn. Honestly, YN should be more worried about meeting with "Boss" and his parents, especially since she has no idea what they expect from her, but she knows thinking about it too much will just make her sick again.

Yoonji runs off somewhere and collects accessories, turning YN into a sparkling prom queen. She even applies makeup to YN's face, no doubt hiding the stress etched into every inch of her face. By the time someone knocks on the door, YN is starving. SHe hopes she won't have to go through this process every time she has to go eat.

But when Tats comes back into the room, YN finds herself wishing that Yoonji had taken longer.

"Dinner's almost ready and the Boss is getting antsy. She done yet, Yoonji?" he asks.

"Almost," Yoonji replies, picking up a glass bottle of perfume and spritzing some on YN's collarbones, "She is now."

"Great." Tats says, grabbing YN harshly by her wrist and pulling her upwards, dragging her out of the room.

YN looks back at Yoonji who gives her a thumbs up, whispering a "Good luck," in YN's direction.

YN stumbles over the tall heels Yoonji had placed her in, barely able to keep up with Tats and his long legs as they stride through massive black and white hallways.

'Don't fuck up, okay," he says, stopping in front of an incredibly tall set of doors, "Remember, first impressions."

He swings the door open.

Chapter Three

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[not-wholly-unheroic]

Viewing Disney’s Peter Pan Through the Eyes of an Adult

Recently, I’ve seen several posts floating around talking about how Disney’s Hook is difficult for people to take seriously and is much too comical for what Barrie had intended. I grew up with Disney’s Hook. He was my first introduction to the character and the reason why I became interested in reading classic literature, writing fanfic, and seriously delving into the analysis of complex villainous/antagonistic characters, so he has a very special place in my heart and I’m prone to be quick to defend him. Rather than writing a long-winded reply to these individual posts, I decided to just make my own explaining why Disney’s Hook can be viewed as just as tragic and sympathetic as any other version. (You can also read some of my earlier posts defending Disney’s Hook here and here.)

*takes a deep breath* *cracks knuckles* Buckle up kiddos! You’re in for a long ride!

My view of Disney’s Hook as a tragic character lies primarily in my sympathy for him when he switches from a proud, elegant, dangerous character to a shivering mess of a man when the crocodile comes around. Let me attempt to elaborate--but first, a bit of a necessary digression.

Every film/book/play, etc. can be viewed from several perspectives. Typically, there is one character that we are meant to like and who becomes the primary focus of the story. Anyone who opposes that character is automatically an antagonist, if not a villain. Usually, even if the point of view is omniscient, we can still tell that it is not, perhaps, entirely objective in its portrayal of certain characters. This sort of situation happens all the time on the evening news--the interviewer is, in theory, supposed to be a neutral reporter on an incident, but it is often obvious that they favor one side of an issue over another, and as a result, the public's view of the situation and those involved is skewed. The lens through which we view a certain character tends to do the same thing. For instance, in Les Miserables (another favorite story of mine), Javert is viewed as an antagonist because the book is primarily concerned with the redemption story of Valjean; however, if the story was flipped and instead focused on the inspector's character and his transition from a strict legalist to a man so broken by the idea of morality that he commits suicide, he would, perhaps, be viewed instead as a tragic HERO instead of a tragic ANTAGONIST. Javert likely does many GOOD things in the name of the law as well during his career, but we don't see most of them because he isn't the main focus of the book. Similarly, I think Disney’s Hook can be more greatly appreciated as TRAGIC instead of COMICAL when we consider the lens through which we are viewing him.

Disney has always been geared toward children, so naturally, when they tell a story, they want the material to be attractive to a younger audience. This means not only that certain more frightening or upsetting elements of a story may be left out, edited, or altogether changed, but also that WE VIEW THE CHARACTERS THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD. (For example, in The Little Mermaid, King Triton's opposition to Ariel going to the surface world is presented in such a way that he seems extremely harsh when, in reality, he is father trying to keep his daughter safe. True, he DOES overreact, but remember, Ariel is only sixteen--not even LEGALLY an adult--and wants to run off with some guy she hasn’t even had a conversation with. But kids can relate to overbearing parents who, in a moment of disagreement, seem like they are being "mean," so that is how the audience sees Triton.) Peter Pan, especially, with its protagonist(s) as a child/children, really magnifies this perspective to the point where, unfortunately, some of the characters become almost caricatures of themselves. When children are legitimately afraid of something, they react one of two ways: Either they run from it/avoid it altogether, or they make-believe that whatever is frightening them is actually a lot less terrifying than it is so that they appear brave. I remember when I was younger, I used to be TERRIFIED of Monstro, the whale from Pinocchio. I couldn't watch the film without getting nightmares. But I didn't want to be afraid of watching the movie, so with my overactive imagination, I decided that I could fix that by turning him into a less scary version of himself and making him into an imaginary friend who more closely resembled Willy the anthropomorphic opera-singing whale from Make Mine Music than the terrifying creature we see in Pinocchio. Anyway, getting back to the point--I overcame my fear of the character by choosing to imagine that he was less scary than he was. This is what a lot of children do, and I think it's why Disney's Hook comes off as being comical.

The first time we see Disney Hook on screen, he actually comes across as pretty terrifying. He literally shoots his own crew member just because he didn't like the guy's singing! Rarely do we actually see Disney villains successfully kill another character on screen, but Hook does not even five minutes into his introduction. Immediately, we get the impression (or at least, a child should get the impression), that Hook is a genuinely dangerous guy. He also seems to regard his loss of a hand as "a childish prank," which further gives us the impression that he apparently has a pretty high pain tolerance and isn't afraid to do horrible, gruesome things to his enemies. If chopping someone's hand off is "childish," then what sort of serious damage does he inflict on his victims? However, this is Disney, and rather than having Hook gut someone or do something else which might scar a kid for life, we soon see he has a weakness...the crocodile. At this point, the Darling kids have been watching Hook for several minutes from their perch up on the cloud and are, probably, starting to have some second thoughts about fighting real pirates when they seem so scary...so what do they do? They do the same thing I did and turn him into a less-scary version of himself. They find his weakness and latch onto it. And since we're viewing things primarily from their perspective, that's how WE start to see Hook too. Hook's fear of the crocodile becomes comical for the audience because the Darling kids are trying to focus on that aspect of him so that they are can forget how terrifying he really is. We see this more frightening side of Hook come out a few more times, such as when he plans to blow up Pan's hideout...and at this point, we even catch a brief glimpse of the more sinister part of Smee when he asks Hook if it wouldn't be more humane for them to slit his throat...AND THIS IS SMEE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE!!! The LEAST frightening of the pirates in ANY version. But I think Disney throws this in just to remind us that Smee is still a pirate, and if HE'S willing to do something THAT bad, Hook is a thousand times worse. However, for the most part, Hook still remains a rather softened, comical version of himself because we are viewing him through the child-lens. Remove that lens, though, and things become more complicated.

Forget, for a moment, that we are supposed to be rooting for the Darling children and Pan, and look again--not as a frightened child who is trying to laugh in the face of danger but as an adult who can feel Hook's pain. I remember one time when I was driving back from the airport in a busy city in the dark and the road was icy...I'm not used to driving in ice, and I'm a naturally nervous driver...At one point, I skidded into the next lane... I literally spent about the next hour hyperventilating, practically rocking myself back and forth, praying, and trying not to cry because I knew if I did I wouldn't be able to see the road. It was horrible... Take that sort of feeling, and I believe it's what Disney Hook is experiencing when the crocodile shows up. Through the "child-lens" it may be funny to see a frightening character in a vulnerable situation, but viewing it as an adult who understands just HOW helpless and terrified one feels in such a situation, you can't help but empathize with Hook. Every move he makes, every tremble in his voice, every look of absolute horror in his eyes tells you that he is not mentally or physically really functioning at the moment. He's on autopilot--he's in survival mode like a wild animal that freezes in hopes that it won't be seen by the approaching predator. Take away the crocodile's obviously silly "theme-music" and Hook's slightly overdone expressions, and you're left with something similar to what we see Hook experience in the novel near the end of the chapter, "The Pirate Ship." ("Very frightful was it to see the change that came over him. It was as if he had been clipped at every joint. He fell in a little heap...he crawled on his knees along the deck as far from the sound that he could go...'Hide me,' he cried hoarsely.") Now we can start appreciating him for the tragic villain that he is supposed to be.

Viewed through the eyes of the Darling children, Hook represents all that is frightening and bad about the grown-up world. If Peter is ice cream parties and summer vacations and catching fireflies in the dark, then Hook is cancer and broken dreams and being worried about being able to make enough money to put food on the table. Barrie, however, tells us that there is much more to both characters than that. Peter has a dark side--a selfish streak that forgets all pain at the cost of never learning from the past, never growing from his experiences and becoming a better person. He is stagnant not only in physically growing up but also in mentally facing reality, which is just as damaging as Hook's attitude of regretting a childhood apparently gone too soon. Hook, too, has a lighter side that loves soft music and flowers and other such things (representative of the good things about being an adult--falling in love, pursuing one's passions in a professional sense, having children of one's own). Disney, of course, doesn't quite do this to the same extent as Barrie since we're given a skewed view of the characters, but it DOES still make a few points which, when stripped of the "child-lens" effect, gives off a similar impression. Peter, for instance, brags to the mermaids at one point about cutting off Hook's hand and feeding it to the crocodile. Though we never get to hear him finish the tale, it is rather unsettling to think that Disney's Pan is capable of such horror. (Personally, no matter WHAT the circumstances of the situation were, I think any real-life child who took such great pleasure in slicing off a body part of another person and then having the presence of mind to feed said body part to a dangerous wild animal would probably be considered a psychopath in need of some SERIOUS counseling.) Disney, of course, glosses over this little inconvenience by having Hook show up before he can really get any further into the story. Again, the child-lens is going up; Wendy doesn't want to see this side of Peter, and neither does the child-based audience, so they choose to look away. However, we see a brief glimpse of this side of Pan again at Skull Rock. First, we see it resurface when he hands Smee a gun and then flies up directly in front of Hook--knowing that he can move out of the way in time. Again, through the child-lens of the audience, it seems funny to watch Smee doing his best (and failing terribly) to aim at Pan...but when you think about it from an adult's perspective, it's actually pretty disturbing. Peter legitimately wants Hook dead and doesn't care if it happens to be at the hand of one of his own crewmen (and arguably, in the Disney universe, Hook's only real friend). When Hook "dies," Peter simply takes the hat and says nonchalantly, "What a pity, Mr. Smee. I'm afraid we've lost the dear captain." It doesn't even phase him that a man might have just died and poor Smee is probably feeling absolutely HORRIBLE because it was (sort of) his fault. Even Wendy's child-lens falters a little here... While Peter is celebrating Hook's death, she at least, has enough of an adult's heart to have compassion on their fallen enemy and turn her face away with an, "Oh, how dreadful!" It happens again a few moments later when Peter is getting ready to kick Hook's hook off the ledge so that he falls into the waiting jaws of the crocodile. (The captain, at this point, is of course, squirming like--to use Peter's phrasing--"a codfish on a hook.") Again, Pan has no sympathy, but Wendy, who is starting to gradually open up her eyes to the truth that maybe staying a child forever isn't all it's cracked up to be and maybe adulthood isn't entirely bad, is losing her "child-lens." Not entirely. Not to the point where she doesn't continue to view Hook as comical to keep from being afraid. But enough to know that what Peter is about to do is wrong. She expresses this verbally when she shouts, "Oh, Peter, NO!"

It is at this point, shortly after the crocodile chase, that we start to see Hook become more of a legitimate threat (and a legitimately sympathetic character) again. Why? Because Wendy, as the protagonist and the one whose eyes we are looking through even more so than Pan, is starting to grow up and face reality for what it is--scary or not. As she sings "Your Mother and Mine" and tells her brothers that they NEED a mother--that Neverland has been fun but they NEED to go home--Hook is throwing Tinkerbelle in a lantern and planning to kidnap the kids and blow Pan to smithereens. And then we get the "slit his throat" reminder (mentioned above)... Also, as a side note, when Hook is ill after the crocodile chase, we hear him lamenting how Pan has made him look like a fool yet again. This is also something that I think we can appreciate more as adults. All Hook's crew wants is to go back to haunting the Spanish Main, but Hook refuses to leave Neverland because he feels that he has to remain there until he can regain his pride...which in and of itself is admirable, since many people who have been played the fool simply hang their head and walk away in shame. Here's this guy who has been bested by a child no more than twelve or thirteen--and possibly much younger... How must that feel? I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship where I was constantly reminded how I couldn’t do anything right, and it felt SO degrading. I literally just wanted to go hide away in my room and cry because I felt so incompetent and useless and just plain stupid. So how does Hook feel? Probably the same way. But he doesn't give up. If there's one thing we can say for sure about Disney Hook, he's a fighter. So, I guess you could say that, in part, one reason I find Disney Hook so sympathetic and tragic is because I can identify with him in his crippling reaction to fear and admire him for his bold attempts to reclaim his pride.

Anyway, getting back on track with the storyline... As we near the end of the film, Hook once again appears to lose face at the final showdown. At first, this doesn't seem to make sense if Wendy is, in fact, beginning to lose the child-lens. However, although Hook is defeated, we are never actually shown that he dies (and obviously, from the second film, in the Disney universe, he doesn't). I remember reading somewhere that when they were originally working on Peter Pan, Walt Disney chose to keep Hook alive and just have him "going like hell" rather than actually dying because, "the audience will get to liking Hook." And by this point, we have...those of us still looking through the child-lens love to hate him as a character we can laugh at, and those of us who are more grown-up love him for being just like us--an adult who is STILL growing up, in some ways, who is STILL afraid of certain things and hasn't always learned his lessons and isn't perfect but also isn't willing to give up even when everything is against him and everyone is laughing at him and nothing seems to go right.

Now, I said that at first, it doesn't seem to make sense for us to view Hook in a comical light in this scene if we are viewing the movie primarily through the eyes of the Darling children--particularly Wendy, who is starting to grow up and realize that adults are supposed to feel things like compassion for one's enemies. However, Wendy is still a child. She IS still afraid of growing up. In fact, she's terrified. And that comes out when the kids are all mocking Hook. He's still frightening to them. They still need the security blanket of pretend sometimes, of focusing on his more comical, vulnerable side...but they don't defeat Hook by killing him in this version, and I think that's significant. As representative primarily of the "scary" parts of growing up, Hook is temporarily cast aside and shoved to the back of their minds, but he IS NOT DEAD. The kids (and even Pan) know he may come back. They know he isn't gone for good. One day, they will have to face adulthood. One day, Hook--in the guise of mortgages and taxes and wars and sickly older parents--will return. But for now, they have defeated him...not just by pretending but by choosing to accept the responsibility of growing up eventually, in their own good time. Even Peter starts to reflect this theme by beating Hook, "man to man" without the use of flight. Wendy, who wants to be the good grown-up but who isn't quite ready to let go of childhood, warns Peter against it, thinking that it may be a trap. She even goes so far as to shout at him to fly when he has the chance even though he has promised not to. But Disney Pan is a bit more mature than some (maybe Wendy's better judgment is wearing off on him), and he keeps his word. He beats Hook "like a man" NOT like a boy. Pan's victory here symbolically reflects the Darling children's decision to face adulthood by going back to London. Thus, Hook is defeated because adulthood is no longer an obstacle which causes a fear is so crippling that the kids can't face it. When Wendy returns home, we get one last glimpse of this truth in Mr. Darling--the real-world representative of all things frightening and frustrating about growing up and, as I'm sure you know, also (significantly) voiced by Conried--who has done some "growing up" himself. Mr. Darling, it seems, is willing to allow Wendy a bit more time to enjoy life as a child, remembering his own childhood fondly, even as Wendy has chosen to accept the responsibility of growing up. Mr. Darling, who much like Hook, was viewed previously by the kids (and by extension, the audience) as a bit of a bully and an object of ridicule, is now the object of Wendy's affection as a mutual understanding is reached. Adulthood is frightening in many ways, but Wendy has also come to realize that it is necessary to take responsibility for one's actions and feel compassion for others just as Mr. Darling has realized that sometimes, it's okay for kids to be kids and enjoy the moment. Essentially, what I'm saying is--borrowing the idea that Hook and Mr. Darling are two sides of the same coin--Hook in Neverland, chased away by the crocodile, appears as comical in the last scene only because he effectively gets one last serious scene through his London counterpart, staring wistfully out the window with a loving wife and child by his side. Wendy isn't quite yet grown up, so she still sees through the child-lens on occasion, but she is learning, gradually, to embrace that which she once feared. She no longer needs Hook, an imaginary figure, to personify that fear. She now has her father back, and though she now RESPECTS what he stands for, she is no longer so terrified of growing up that she can't appreciate the GOOD side of the future (such as having a husband and a family of her own someday) and look forward to it.

[aussiearrow]

Who's Got Your Love? - Chapter 14

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Who's Got Your Love? - Chapter 14

Week 4 Chapter 5

Briana

The girls all sat around and watched as each of the new guys filed out and stood by each other followed by Ariana who smiled as she saw all the girls.

"Hey ladies, I hope that you had a lovely week with the new guys. But now it's time to make some decisions. As you know you guys were told that you have the chance to bring one of these handsome fellas into the villa. So it goes as follows if you decide you want to recouple now, if you were in a couple the guy would now be single and vice versa. However if either you or him come back single you risk being dumped from the island.. Now if you both decide not to recouple you guys are safe for now. Briana? Do you want to start us off?" Ariana smiled.

"Oddly enough I much rather would have not wanted to go first. After seeing the video package yesterday I went from being so sure to not being sure at all what I wanted to do. I didn't make connections in time like some of us did. I feel like whatever choice I make may or may not be the wrong one. But even after everything I still really like James and I would kick myself if I decided to recouple right now." Briana said as she sat down, Alex and Kat gave both of her arms a little squeeze.

"Layla?" Ariana said," It's your turn."

Layla stood up as she looked around at all the girls before she looked at all the guys," This week I learned a lot. I think I got a lot closer to some of the girls in the house but I also was able to meet some new really great guys." Layla said with a smile, " I know there was a side of Nick that really none of us knew that was showed. A side that I don't know if I really liked. If anything this week showed that if he was that quick to act like that the first time I wasn't around and we aren't together yet. Than how would it be if we do get together and he goes somewhere alone?"

As some of the girls and even Ariana nodded in agreement," So Layla with all of that being said. Do you wish to recouple or do you want to see where things go with Nick?"

"At this time I think it's best that I stay with Nick and take that risk." Layla said as she sat back down with a sigh.

"Don't worry, we'll kick his ass when we see him." Callie said with a laugh as the girls agreed.

"Kat, you're up." Ariana said as Kat took a moment before she stood up.

"I kept thinking to myself all the ways this could go but now when I stand here about to make the decision everything is totally different. First I just have to say that I loved all the time I got to spend with Preston over the last week and he made me realize that this experience isn't only for finding love but also to have fun while doing it. I know my luck hasn't exactly been the greatest before casa amor but at the same time I look at it like did I just take advantage of it to not face the reality that I have too now. " Briana could see that Kat was nervous. As she looked at Preston too.

"Right now I think it's best if I stay where I am and figure that out first without confusing myself even more."

"Do you think Jay is going to come back single?" Ariana asked her.

" Parts of me know that it's done between me and him. So." Kat shrugged as she sat down.

Ariana didn't continue on as she just nodded," Callie, would you like to go next?"

Callie nodded her head as she stood up," Yes cause okay wow. This week has honestly been a lot. Coming in I figured something like this would happen so I've been trying to prepare myself and keep myself open in doing that I met some great people. I can't say recouple cause I'm not in one," The girls laughed remembering how the beginning of all this played out," So I am going to bring someone new in the villa that being Cash." Callie said as everyone smiled happy that Callie actually was able to make a connection and actually be in a couple.

Briana sighed, it was getting closer and closer to the guys turn and she was not ready at all for what was about to possibly happen.

As Cash walked over and wrapped his arms around Callie," Now the real fun starts." He said as they sat down.

"Alex? It's time for you to bring it home for us." Ariana said as Briana started to get nervous. It was almost time for them all to see the boys again for the first time in a week.

Alex stood up," I can't believe I have to go last considering right now I feel like I'm one of if not the most confused person here. I guess I should start by saying that Pete is one of the greatest guys I met but seeing the video clips made me even more confused. On one hand I was hoping Pete would make my decision easy but than on the other hand I was being introduced to Kenny, a sweet guy who never overstepped even though he clearly wanted too more than once. And than Ethan who everyone believes has quite the ego but showed me a side that I can only hope more people can see." Alex said as Ethan smiled.

"So Alex, do you want to recouple or hopefully get reunited with Pete?"

" I think right now it'll be best if I recouple and the guy I would be bringing in is Ethan." As Ethan walked over to Alex and placed a kiss on her lips.

"Finally I've been waiting forever to do that without interruption." Ethan said with a laugh.

" I can tell." Alex said as the two sat down.

With that Briana sighed knowing exactly what this meant now. She watched as Ethan whispered something in Alex's ear that made her laugh. As Layla looked completely nervous that Nick was going to walk in here with someone new leaving her alone, as Kat who sat next to her reached her hand out so they both can go through this next part together. As Callie sat there talking to Cash but she could see the nerves show on her face.

"Ladies? Are you ready to see the boys?" No, not at all Briana wanted to say.

Alex

"Ladies? Are you ready to see the boys?" Alex took a deep breath, not only was she worried about whether Pete was bringing a new girl in , she was also worried about what would happen if he didn't.

Than there was James and how that would be once he came back too. Alex knew there was a lot to think about over these next two weeks. And it was starting now as she saw Trent walk down the stairs alone, she didn't get to talk to Trent much but when they did she could see why Kat had fun whenever she was around him.

It didn't surprise anyone when he walked down alone, and Kat looked up at him when his face went from worry to complete shock. Maybe that Kat was sitting there alone, but than it went back to worry most likely thinking of Jay also coming back. As he sat down next to Kat either way. Next to come down alone was Adam, once again it was a surprise to no one. But it also meant that Adam was still single unlike Trent though his facial expression showed little to no signs of how he felt that Cash was sitting next to Callie.

Alex was starting to feel nerves that she had never felt before as it was getting closer to James and Pete's turn but as Nick walked down the stairs with a new girl. Of course the whispering started almost immediately as Trent shook his head.

"Nick? I see you decided to recouple. Why don't you introduce us to her?" Ariana said.

"I did, everyone this is May, May this is everyone." Nick said he brought her over to the couch. It was almost like he didn't notice the fact that Layla was sitting alone on the couch until he had no choice but to sit next to her with his new girl May.

"Can we talk later?" Nick had asked her.

"Don't" Layla said simply.

Next up to walk down the stairs was James and to no one's surprise besides Briana's he was alone. Briana let out a sigh of relief as the rest of the girls smiled at her, Alex on the other hand was trying to read his expressions but like Adam there was little to no signs of how he was feeling. James made his way over as Briana hugged him but out of the corner of her eye Alex saw him look over in her direction there wasn't going to be much avoidance much longer.

"I just want to get this over with already." Kat said as Alex nodded not being able to agree anymore than the next.

Just as Kat finished talking and Alex finished agreeing. Jay began to walk down the stairs and at first it looked like he was alone that shocked most of the girls as Kat stayed expressionless, Trent choosing to watch her not really paying attention the fact that Jay had turned and held his hand out as a girl began to walk down the stairs and take his hand. He watched as Kat's face changed to something he couldn't quite put his finger on as he finally turned to look at the scene.

As the couch was filled with everyone not being so quiet about Jay's current action, Alex looked at Kat who now had many expressions on her face and while her hand was now on her own lap, Trent actually made a move to grab it and squeeze it as she looked at him but didn't say anything. Alex turned her attention back to the scene in front of her.

"Jay, care to introduce us to your new girl?"

"This lovely lady is named Alison. I would introduce everyone one by one but by the looks on their faces it seems words aren't going to be their strong suit right now so I'll save all of that for later." Jay said and there was that smirk that Alex could have gone without seeing for another few weeks.

Jay tried to walk over to the couch and sit between Jay and Kat but once he realized that Trent hasn't let go of her hand he picked a different spot far away from them as possible. As Alex's attention turned back to the stairs there was only one more person left, Pete. And he wasted no time in walking down the steps but what got Alex the most of out of all of that was that Pete wasn't alone.

Alex let out a breath she didn't know she was holding until he now stood in front of her holding hands with a girl who wasn't her, as Ethan grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Pete, would you like to introduce this lovely lady to everyone?" Ariana said.

Alex could care less about what her name was, it sounded like Kaylie? Bailey? She didn't truly know.

As the two took their seat Ariana turned to the group," Okay you're current couples are as follows Karly and Pete, Alex and Ethan, Alison and Jay, Briana and James, Callie and Cash, and May and Nick. Meanwhile Kat, Layla, Trent, and Adam are now officially single and at risk of being dumped from the island. Please take the rest of the night to relax and get to know each other and I'll see you guys soon." Ariana said as she walked out.

You know it's always much easier to do certain things when you don't have to come face to face with certain people. It's easier to say get to know one another when you don't actually know the person sitting next to you it's the new person sitting next to them that you have to get to know and boy does that suck.

" I'll be right back." Alex said as she gave Ethan's hand a squeeze and hurried off back into the villa what she didn't know was that someone was hot on her tail.

"Ethan, I said I just need a moment I'll be right back out." Alex said.

"Ouch I know it's been a week but you forgot my name that quick?" Alex's eyes went wide as she turned around to see James standing there sheepishly.

"James - I know you know that I heard everything but can we please not - "

"Talk about it right now? I get it, I don't want to either. I just want to make sure you're okay after everything."

"Define okay?" Alex said as she tried to hold it together as she looked at James, like really truly looked at him. But it was a shame that she couldn't see much of him of her vision began to get blurry.

"Well not about to cry certainly isn't one of the definitions of being okay." James said as he wrapped his arms around Alex," I know this whole thing absolutely sucks. I don't know why this week had to even happen."

"I don't even know what I'm crying over at this point." Alex said.

"Do you think you made a mistake picking Ethan?" James asked.

"No." Alex said as James nodded not that she could see anyway.

"Is it Pete bringing someone new in?" James asked.

"I think that's part of it."

"Only part of it?" James asked as he looked down at Alex with a confused expression on his face.

"I think you know the other reason." Alex said.

"Ah, well sorry for contributing I uh I really didn't think you would see that at least not until way after the show was over and that things were hopefully more clear for you."

"You weren't going to tell me?"

"I didn't think you'd want to hear it if we're being honest." James said.

"Of course I want to know. What makes you think I don't?"

" I don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to telling you things." James said as Alex nodded understanding where he was coming from.

"We should really get back to everyone." Alex said as she pulled away from the hug.

"We should be, are you doing better?" James said.

"Yes, a little. But I can assure you I will be soon enough though."

"Okay than let's go, but when we get out there, remember to stay on your side." James said as they both laughed and headed out.

Kat

Once everything ended and Alex ran off with James following suit it was quiet. Kat really didn't want to break the silence but Jay certainly didn't have that in mind.

"Well there's certainly more new guys than I thought there would be." Jay said as he looked at Ethan and Cash.

"Guess that's what happens when people get treated wrong and they find better." Ethan said with a shrug as Kat looked at him with wide eyes as Trent said he couldn't agree more.

Kat didn't necessarily like when things like that were said cause than it just created more drama that she quite frankly don't have the energy for at least not today.

"Let's go get a drink." Adam said as Kat nodded her head happy that someone wanted to get away from this just as much as she did.

"Man, if you have something to say you can just say it." Jay said to Trent.

Trent looked over at Kat and Adam briefly and it was almost like he was going to decide to go with her when Jay made another comment and Trent's glance went from her back to Jay.

Kat sighed and decided that it was no use and walked over to the bar as Adam poured her a drink that she accepted cause lord knows she's going to need it for the time being. As she opened the fridge and brought out the bottle and put it by them.

" Just in case." Kat said as Adam laughed and sat down. " I don't think we ever got to talk before."

" Yeah, I don't think so either. You were always busy in that Jay mess."

Kat nodded," Yeah the Jay mess that just seemingly won't go away yet somehow gradually gets worse."

Adam nodded," I get that. Other than that how was it getting away from most of us?"

"You're still talking about Jay without mentioning his name." Kat said as Adam raised his hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry." Adam laughed," But yes I'm talking about Jay for the most part, I'm sure there were others too. We saw the videos and you looked really happy like you were actually being yourself. I'm surprised Preston wasn't here with you."

"I think I surprised myself on that one too if we're being honest. Part of me wished that it could have stayed the same so I could have gotten the conversation out of the way already because even when I was having fun at the end of the day there was always still some sort of reminder that Jay was still going to be around come next week. Than seeing him come down the stairs alone at first it gave me false hope. Now him and Trent are having their little dude moment of trying to prove things hence why I hope this little helper." Kat said as she raised her drink.

"I'm more than happy with being your drinking buddy." Adam said as he raised his glass to her as they clinked them together," I mean it's no body shot but I'm sure we can make it work."

Kat laughed," I still can't believe I let that happen."

"Was it fun though?"

"We yeah duh of course."

"Than what's the problem?"

"Maybe that my mom was most likely watching that go down." Kat said as they both laughed.

"So what I'm hearing is I can't offer?" Trent said as Kat looked over her shoulder as she shook her head laughing.

" How was your time away from the villa? It looked pretty fun from what we were all able to see." Kat said as she changed the subject.

" It had it's moments. But honestly I couldn't wait to get back here. I feel like we left things off how they shouldn't of been." Trent said.

"I know we didn't get to talk or anything before everything changed. But we're here now." Kat said

"To new beginnings." Trent said as he raised his own glass except there wasn't 3 anymore as Adam had seemingly found his way away from the two as Kat clinked her glass to his.

"Yeah to new beginnings." Kat said as they both took a drink.

Layla

"Way to go Jay you came back and literally everyone walked away." Layla said with a laugh.

"Ha ha, like that's my fault." Jay said.

"It kind of is, you're the one who had to have that whose manly thing with Trent after this whole thing happened."

"He started it." Jay said.

"So you really had to finish it?"

"Listen it doesn't matter, he's gone now and he won't be lasting that much longer here in the villa. Next time it'll be the same thing over and over again."

"Are you going to talk to Kat about anything that happened?" Layla asked.

"Are you talking about me and you?"

"Well yeah, I mean I know there's a lot of other stuff you have to talk about as well." Layla said as she looked over at Alison and than at Kat and Trent.

"I know but right now, I'm just going to sit back and observe. I'll let things play out and settle down first. But I'll talk to her about everything soon." Jay said as Layla nodded as Nick made his way over.

"Hey." Nick said.

"Hi, how was your time away?" Layla asked seemingly cutting right to the point.

"It was good for the most part. Weird more than anything."

"But I see you got used to it pretty quickly seeming that you have met someone." Layla said.

"Yeah, she's uh she's great. I think you guys would get along."

"Not interested. Seeing the way you guys acted I got pretty close to the other girls finally. And I remember her from some moments in the videos that we seen. Lots of drama that I don't want to be apart of."

"There's not going to be any drama with May. She barely knows any of you guys." Nick said as Layla laughed and gave him a pointed look.

She was going to say more when her phone went off as she looked down at it.

"I got a text!" Layla called out.

"Already?" Alison said.

"Yeah, that's how it goes around here. Maybe you'll catch on but probably not." Layla said as Kat and Trent walked over to the group followed by everyone else.

“ What’s up what did the text say?” Pete asked.

Layla looked down at the phone,” Islanders I really hope you’re enjoying being back together again,” Layla slightly rolled her eyes,” But tomorrow things start to get real. Over the next few days the boys and girls will be participating in challenges all to figure out who gets their choice during the recoupling. All while having a challenge within and the guy or girl with the most points get to pick first as long as their group wins #teamingupforlove .” Layla said as she put her phone down and looked at everyone.

“ Well things definitely just got interesting.” Kay said.

“Yeah I guess you can say that.” Briana said as she played with her hands.

“I don’t know about you guys but I’m excited to be back in my own bed. The other villa’s beds weren’t that comfortable.”

“Oh great now these ex couples have to figure out who gets to keep the bed and who gets the boot.” Layla said with a laugh.

“ Well, well, well, Kat?” Jay said.

“ It was mine first but I’ll give it up. If I’m starting new it might as well stay that well starting with the bed.” Kat said.

“ I’ve been single this whole time so no changes here.”

Callie

“ I’ve been single this whole time so no changes here.” Trent said.

“Hey same here.” Adam said with a laugh.

“ Shouldn’t we figure out how many beds first before we go through all of this?” Callie said as

James turned around and looked inside the room,” There’s 8 beds meaning singles have to share or find somewhere else to sleep.” James said,” Or however everyone wants to do this.”

“ Well I think couples got this figured out.” Cash said as he looked at Callie who nodded.

“ Layla? Trent?” Kat said.

“ Adam? Kat?” Layla said right back.

“ It’s nice out I can take the couch thing out here.” Adam said.

“ I’ll take the one bed, Kat? Trent?” Layla said.

“ I’ll stay on the other couch.” Trent said with a hint of not being so sure in his tone.

Kat looked at him with a nod,” Than I’ll take the other bed.”

“ There all settled. Looking forward to our first full day in the villa tomorrow.” Ethan said as everyone slowly began to clear out and get ready for bed.

Before Callie knew it all that was left was her, Cash, Trent, Kat, and Adam who was off to the side.

“ I can’t believe we only have 2 weeks left.” Callie said.

“I’m not surprised, I just wish I had more time could have saved you from a lot of losers.” Cash said as he wrapped his arm around Callie’s waist.

Adam laughed,” I’m not sure where you think that’s going but I never got my chance.”

“ Not my problem.” Cash said as he looked at Adam.

Kat and Trent both walked away to go get ready for bed seemingly knowing that it was time and that this was something that had nothing to do with the two of them.

“Not saying it is.” Adam said.

“ Than what are you trying to say?” Cash said.

Adam began to walk away towards the guys room,” That I’ll see you around Callie.” He said as he gave her shoulder a squeeze.

“ What just happened?” Cash said as Callie shrugged even though part of her knew what it was.

It was Adam stepping up to fight for her and she was in a lot of trouble.

[tellerford13]

MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 36

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us.                                                       A/N: Oh My God We’re Back Again. It’s been a long time, but we never lost our love for Mo Astor. We’ve been plotting, and writing, and editing behind the scenes. We’re back to posting once a week. Thank you to all the readers who’ve left comments, favorited, and waited patiently. Grab a drink, sit back, and get ready to become lost in the world we’ve created.

                                         Mo Astor Chapter 36

Jax

It’s been a long time since it was just me and my baby sister. I’m looking forward to the one-on-one, though I’d never admit it out loud. She’s been my rock through some hard times.

I imagine she’d say the same for me. When life around you is constantly shifting, you look to each other to remain stable. That’s something most don’t understand.  That bond you have with someone who holds you down through all the bullshit is lifelong. It doesn’t break when you do jail time, have a difference of opinions, or get busy with life. So yeah, I guess civilians right, we ain’t like them.

“Morning,” I call as I walk into the house and disarm and reset the alarm.

“You’re making me regret giving you a key.” I follow her voice into the kitchen.  

“You love it when I visit,” I retort.

“Did you tell the incubator I’m coming with you?” She asks cutting straight to the point.

I snicker. “Believe it or not, she prefers you.”

Journee scowls.

“Proves how fucking stupid she is,” she mutters.

“Jesus, Baby J. hold a grudge much?”

“Pot meet kettle. Mr. Let’s measure our dicks with Kick.” She finishes rinsing off her dishes, and piles them into the dishwasher.

“That was setting boundaries.”

“Riiight. Whatever you need to help you sleep at night. At least I own my crazy ass tendencies.” She pouts.

“’Cause that’s better?” I lean against the counter beside her.

“Oh, yeah bro. Always best to know yourself.” She winks

“You’re full of shit.”

“Guess that’s why my eyes are brown, huh? Wait that can’t be true. Cause your eyes are sky blue, J.”

“You’re supposed to be coming along for moral support,” I reminder her wryly.

“I am.” She pats my cheek as we head out of her house towards my bike. “I’m breaking you down to build you up stronger.”

“That’s some fucked up Gemma logic.” I mutter.

“She did raise us to be like her.”

“You say that with a straight face and it becomes a scary story.” She laughs.

“I know.”

“Such a little shit.” I’m smiling as I say it. Like a true little sister, no one can get away with more bullshit than her, and she knows it. It reminds me of the year she and Tommy were as thick as thieves. He was a lot like her in many ways—more soft spoken and thoughtful. As an only kid she had a crazy patience for him, reading him books, and letting him trail along beside her.

Part of me wondered if they’d have ended up together if things were different and she’d be a Teller for another reason. Especially with how things ended up for me and Lee.

I push the thought out of my mind. What if’s did nothing but drive you crazy.

“So, what exactly did I agree to go to anyway?” she asks.

“Don’t you think you should’ve asked that beforehand?” I tease.

She shakes her head. “You know I’m your ride or die.”

“I do. Basic check-up, and then lunch. I get the feeling she’s got some new man.”

She whistles. “Damn that fast?”

“Hey. If it keeps her from dicking with me and Lee, and doesn’t affect my boy, let her be happy.”

“All kidding aside.” She shuts the door to the dishwasher and turns to me. “ I’m proud of you, big brother. You’ve come a long way.”

My neck grows hot. “We both know Lee had a lot to do with that.”

“Your, opening your eyes and seeing what was in front of you did that. You and Lee were always just a matter of when not if.” She starts the wash cycle.

“So sure.” I roll my eyes.

“I could see it. Over the years you got so close, but something always kept you from clicking.” “Deep down I knew in order to keep her I’d have to get my shit together, and I wasn’t ready to do that. So I stayed back ‘cause fucking things up between us wasn’t an option, you know?”

“Things came out the way they were meant to.”

“You really think that?” I glance into her soft brown eyes, and she gives me that Madonna smile that makes me feel like everything is going to be alright. I can always be real with my sister because I know she’s going to give me the truth. Wither I want it or not.

“I do.” She reaches over and places her hand on mine. “You both had some work to do before you could commit to forever.”

“You think I have it in me?  Forever and kids and all that?” I ask cautiously. So far, I’m screwing up the baby thing with my first born. It’s scary thinking of another person depending on me, let alone a child. It changes everything, and our life is unpredictable.

“You are your father’s son. Is there even a doubt?”

“Naw.” I lie, trying to fake it till I make it like I always do.

“Didn’t think so. You’re paying for lunch right? ‘Cause I’m starving.”

I laugh.

“You about to try to put a hurting on my wallet?” I hand her my spare helmet before climbing on my bike.

“Better than putting a hurting on your ex.” She says with a shrug, clipping the helmet on.

I chuckle, pulling my helmet on.

“You have a valid point. Damn you are our mothers’ child.”

She blows a raspberry, before mounting my bike.  Little sis knows since she’s doing me a favor, she has the upper hand—and she’s going to milk that shit for all it’s worth. It’s the Teller way.

~~~~~~~ I’m pleasantly surprised and slightly bewildered by the manicured lawn and uncluttered space by the garage. The large black garbage cans are lined up neatly by the curb on the street.

Pulling into the driveway, I remove my helmet and pause to take in the freakish cleanliness it’s lacked in prior visits.  This is above and beyond the duties we assigned the prospect keeping tabs on Wendy’s house.

“Well. This is different,” Journee whispers.

“Yeah.” I frown and turn to look over my shoulder.

“Maybe Ma sent over multiple prospects to tidy up.”

“Nu-uh.” Journee shakes her head.

“She said this was your mess to handle.” I purse my lips. “Which means it’s up to me to help you out with the pile of shit you’ve landed in.” Journee sighs.

“I feel the love.”

Journee shrugs. “I’m only speaking the truth big bro. You choose poorly for your first baby Mama. I told you how I felt about her long before you decided to give her your crow.”

I scowl. “No need to rub it in.”

“I’m just reminding you to listen to me. Sometimes I know things.” She flicks my ear and climbs off the back of my bike gracefully.

“Let’s get this torture session over, please.”

“You think it’s bad for you? I got eighteen years of this bare minimum.”

Storing our helmets in my saddlebags, I wrap an arm around her shoulders. “Come on, be my buffer.”

“I should let you go up in flames,” She mutters.

“That’s not sisterly,” I say with a grin.

“Jaxass.” She mutters.

We climb the steps, and the door swings open to reveal Wendy before we can even knock.  My jaw drops at her appearance. I glance over to find Journee equally shocked.

She looks like a fucking Stepford wife in a pale-yellow sundress complete with a flared skirt and heels. Last time she dressed like this a waffle iron came flying at my head.

“Jackson.  Cat got your tongue?” Wendy smirks.

Journee growls. “Aaaah, the little cocoa sidekick.”

“You know it only takes nine months to bake a baby, and you’ve got what...” Journee taps a finger against her cheek. “Less than three months left?”

“Nice to know you can count,” Wendy sneers.

  This is a new woman in front of me. I’m glad that she’s gotten the idea of us getting back together to be a family out of her head, but this one-eighty makes me uneasy.

I scan her body, and notice the thick strips of white medical tape over her entire right forearm.

They stand out against her nineteen-fifties get up.

“The fuck.” I grab her arm. “What are you hiding?”

“Your mark. Which meant nothing.” She spits, tugging her arm away.

“Let me see.”

“Fuck you, Jackson.”

Journee moves forward, blocking the doorframe with her body to keep me from dragging the smart-mouthed bitch out.

“I swear to God. If you’re using again.”  My breath quickens, and my visions tints red as rage builds up inside me like an inferno about to blaze out of control.

“You can take it off on your own. Or I can make you,” Journee says softly.

“One of these days, someone is going to put you in your fucking place. You don’t even belong here,” Wendy growls.

Journee climbs up another step, getting in her face.

“I know exactly who I am, where I belong, and where I’m wanted. You could never say the same, could you? Poor little lost girl, with loose legs begging to belong.”

Wendy blinks and turns away. Her hands tremble as she unwraps the tape and thrusts her arm toward me. “Look your fill. You dick.”

I peer down at the unmarred skin, and my knees nearly go weak with relief.  “It better stay this way.”

“I have someone to take care of me now, Jackson. I don’t need your bullshit concerns.”

“The minute you give birth to my baby you can do whatever the hell you want. Until that time, your business is mine.”

“It’s my baby too.” Her tone makes me stand up straight.

“What was that Wendy?” My voice drops an octave. “Is the junkie with no job trying to tell me she thinks she’s the better parent?”

“Inside.” Journee whispers.

Of course, We always have to keep up appearances here in town.” My mother’s voice plays in my head.

The fresh scent of cleanser and scented candles greets me. The house has never looked this good.

Who turned her into June Cleaver? I search the place for clues. The laundry basket resting on the couch has t-shirts that are far too big for Wendy, and the black boxers are a dead giveaway.

I don’t feel anything for her. I haven’t for far longer than I care to admit.  But I do worry about the company she’s keeping with my boy still in her belly.

He’s not a junkie. Shit’s too put together for that.

“Going somewhere?” Journee asks, nodding toward the kitchen.

I spot the half-packed boxes and bare spaces on the counter.

“I don’t want to stay in this house of lies.” Her dark eyes burn into mine.

“And where do you plan on going?” I ask. She looks away.

“Do you really want us to have to find you?” Journee asks.

Wendy crosses her arms under her breasts, pulling the material tight around her waist.I take in the bulge that’s grown over the past month.

“I’m just preparing.”

“You’re not supposed to be lifting heavy things right now.”

“I have help,” She snaps.

“You aren’t the only person who’d ever want me.” Her hands ball into fists. “If you can move on, so can I.”

“No one is saying you can’t, you crazy bitch. Calm the fuck down before you distress my godson. There’s no reason for everyone to get all worked up. We get it. Wendy bagged herself a new man. Good for you. We’re here to get our report on the baby, and we’ll be gone. The quicker you update us, the sooner we’ll be out of your hair.” Journee holds her hands out like she’s wrangling two high school kids about to fight.

Huffing, she stalks over to the large chair and sits down crossing her ankles, like some kind of proper lady. I’m in the fucking twilight zone. I lean forward with my arms on my knees, drinking up her reports. My boy is growing properly and healthy. It’s more than I could’ve hoped for, considering how fast and hardcore we were living when she got knocked up.

We were both empty shells looking to fill up spaces neither of us could ever fit into.

It’d been fun for a while, but it had never been built to last. She wasn’t even a consolation prize post-Tara tear down— Wendy was a pretty thing to warm my bed and play by the club rules without question. Now I’m paying for my poor choices.

“You satisfied?” Wendy asks. Journee looks at me, and I nod.

“For now.” Journee nods her head, and we both rise.

“Same time next month, Case.” Journee drawls. Such a little shit. Makes a brother proud.

She scowls as we leave.

“What. the fuck, Jax?” Journee whispers.

I shake my head. “Not sure, but if he keeps her shit together for the next 2 and half months, I don’t much care.”

~~~~~~

Sitting down at the table in Hannah’s, I wait for J to finish most of her meal before bringing up the main reason I wanted to go out to lunch after.

“All right Baby J, so…I gotta admit there's another reason I brought you along today.” I begin, wiping my hands off with my napkin. She rolls her eyes playfully at me. “Of course there is. So, which of my skill sets will you need for this favor? I've got a few spots saved in the woods for disposal and Hap gave me an amazing cleaner kit for my birthday.” She says with an excited grin and a bloodlust in her eyes. She is so her father’s daughter. I can't help but chuckle, shaking my head in Disbelief.  By looking at her you'd never guess what she was capable of.  But with her dad the Sergeant at Arms of Grim Bastards, and her mentor Happy Lowman…there’s a side to her that I never want to get on the bad side of. “Well I do need your skills, just not those ones.” I say, taking a sip of my water. She raises a curious eyebrow at me before smirking.

“Sorry bro, my other skills are only allowed to be enjoyed by my husband and my wifey. As kinky as my old man is, I don't think we're ready to swing just yet.”

She teases with a wink and I damn near spit my sip out. “Jesus J, not that either! Shit little sister, I’ve only just begun playing in Lee's pussy myself. No other dick is going to be poking around in her till it’s been claimed to completion.” Her eyebrows shoot up.“Already planning on making her your second baby mama?” "Second and final. But not just yet. I just got her to say I love you to me. If I plant the seed too soon, I'm worried she'd rip out the roots.”

She rolls her eyes. “Naw Bro, Lee'd never terminate.”

“Oh I know, I wasn't talking about the baby. I was more concerned with her going Loreena Bobbitt on me.”  I say honestly, shifting in my seat at the imaginary pain. She bursts out laughing, nodding her head in agreement. “Yea, that uh, that might be more likely.” She says between adorable little snorts.

I nod my head in agreement. “Exactly and seeing is how I ain't planning on changing my singing voice anytime soon, I'm real careful how I'm navigating this one.” Feels like the story of my life right now. It’s been a unique experience having the girl be hesitant with me.With Tara and Wendy, we went full steam ahead, and the crows afterwards all but jumped on my dick the minute I looked at them.

Lee is different. And being with her like this has shown me just how special she is.

She’s worth the time and the energy to make this work for both of us.

J offers me a soft, approving smile. “That's good to hear.” I nod. It’s a relief knowing how much baby sister supports us. None of this would’ve happened without her, and I know she’s got my back to help me navigate these new relationship waters. “Besides she's got that IED thing in her arm.” I add.

She bursts out laughing again and this time I'm a little confused.

“It's an IUD dumbass. Lee doesn't have a fucking bomb implanted in her arm.” She teases and I can't help but chuckle.

There's a joy in her eyes I haven't seen since before the whole Kyle debacle. I'm not the least bit surprised her old man helped put it there. I've known about his crush on her for years, but I knew better than to say shit. I figure if Chibs was taking his time there had to be a reason. Brother was one of the most strategic mother fuckers I knew. I was fifteen when he patched in, and after losing my old man, I saw him like the big brother I never had. There was no one I listened to and trusted more than Filip Telford.

I loved Ope and, there would always be a lifelong bond between us, but when he met Donna, we both felt something sever between us. He became a family man almost overnight, and I wasn’t done sewing my wild oats. Plus, the way the whole thing went down with him hurting J, it never sat right with me. Those two had been headed in a direction that would’ve been something real special. But then Mary got involved, dragged him away and he came back with Donna.

I can still feel my anger at the look of heartbreak he’d put on Journee’s face.

He’s been out a few months now and I rarely see him. The separation has been painful, but he’s trying to go the way of the straight and narrow for his family. Donna’s laid out the rules damn clearly. If he gets into trouble again, she’s out. Should’ve had brown babies Ope. This was the real danger of marrying and procreating with a Civi. They never fully understood our world, and few respected the price that sometimes must be paid to be apart of it. I don’t resent Ope for finding love, but I do resent his love for taking him away from his family.

“All right, Well then I'm lost Jay boy. If it ain’t cleaning and it ain’t playtime…what could you need from me?” She asks, taking a sip from her drink. My stomach flutters excitedly. I reach into the pocket of my cut. Producing the crinkled, early stages of a sketch I’ve been working on, I slide it over to her.

“Need the artiste in you little sister.” She glances at me and then opens the paper. My excitement turns to nerves as I watch her eyes studying the picture presented to her. "What am I looking at here J?" She asks and I scowl slightly. "I mean I know I'm not a great artist like you, but you can tell it's a crow.”

She chuckles. “I mean I know that, but I’m wondering why I'm looking at crow?”

"Right so, I need your help J. I want to design a new crow for Lee. After the shit with Kick, I need her inked. I want everyone to know she's claimed.” Her eyebrows shoot up again. “Wait what? A new crow, but your dad designed the first one. Why do you want to do new?” “I know dad designed the first one, but he designed it for my mom. And then ya know other old ladies got it and it just sort of became trademark.” I pause. “But there's nothing trademark about my old lady. I want her to have one just for her, cause she's damn special to me and she deserves something that represents not just me but us. Like you and Chibs did. Seeing the crow designed specifically for the two of you made me realize, I don't want her wearing the same generic shit that both Tara and Wendy got. Lee is never gonna be an ex, I know she's my forever and I want this crow to be more than just the generic SAMCRO trademark.”

I explain my thought process to her watching the smile tugging at the edge of her lips.

“So, that's what I need your help with. No one loves Lee as much as me and no one knows her better. I've got an idea and I can explain what I want, but I need your help executing my vision and making it something that represents us both and that she'd be proud to wear.”

I wait for her reaction. She studies the sketch and runs her fingers over the lines. “Where are you thinking she wears her brand?” I can’t help but remember before we were together, standing in my dorm room at Journee's engagement party.  Journee running her slender fingers over Lee's chest saying how sexy a chest piece would look. I lick my lips and shift in my seat before clearing my throat. “Depends what we come up with. I know I’m definitely going to want her to get a chest piece so anyone who looks knows exactly who she belongs to, but I also know she's gotta be careful with size given her business dealings in the upper crust. So maybe just property off Jax across her chest so she can cover it up if need be. But this crow, HER crow...I don't want to worry about size. Maybe her shoulder or tricep for when she's in tank tops. After we design it and I give it to her, I'll let her decide where.”

Journee nods thoughtfully. “All right so explain to me what you're thinking.” She reaches into her oversized satchel she almost always has with her, and pulls out a small sketch book and pencil. I chuckle at her. She shrugs sheepishly. “Hey I'm an artist, never know when inspiration might strike.” She says flipping the book open to an empty page. “So I like what you have going here with the crow but what if you go with a two headed crow. Sort of like you and her becoming one.”  She explains, masterfully sketching out what I'd already drawn and adding on to it. “Now, tell me what else you're thinking.”

By the time we’re finished, the idea is a fully formed tattoo. The two crows each have a wing.

A bleeding heart in the middle of the crows speaks to our passion and dedication for each other. One crow clutches an A.K. 47 for the club, and the other crow clutches an olive branch to represent the peace she brings me.  With her, I’m completely balanced. Journee’s thrown in a few other hidden easter eggs to symbolize Lee.  My name sits above the entire thing to let everyone know who my old lady belongs to. I love that in a way Journee is woven in there. There would be no me and Lee without her wonderfully “subtle” match making ways. We stand to leave, and I toss 20 extra bucks down on a 24-dollar bill. SamCro always makes sure to tip extra well in town. Keeps our business running and our business owners happy to have us. As we're walking out my phone rings and I can't help but grin when I see Lee's name on the caller ID.

“Hey beautiful, I was just thinking about you.” I say answering the phone. “How'd your meeting go?” I ask as we walk towards my bike. "Hey baby, went good. I think your mom and I were able to nail down the last of the details for the taste of Charming festival coming up.” I can hear the relief in her tone.

“Glad to hear it Darlin. J and I just finished up lunch. Headed back now.” I pause.“I mean, headed home.” I correct, winking at the smirk J gives me. “Glad to hear it darlin.” She mocks on the other end. J and I get to the bike and she grabs her helmet. “How’d your meeting go with Wendy?”

“Went good. I’ll tell you more about when I get there.”

“Okay baby.” I can hear her hesitation for a moment.

“Something wrong?”

“No, not at all. But umm Sack came by this morning with a few boxes of your stuff. And I hope you don't mind that I started unpacking some things. You know I hate boxes.” My heart damn near soars at her words. “Of course I don't mind Lee. You know how I hate unpacking, so unpack away. I can't wait to see it. My shit mixed in with yours. Bet it's gonna look amazing.” I say honestly. After our bathtub wall breaking session we both wanted as much of my stuff into her house as soon as possible.

Mostly cause I didn't want her changing her mind on me. “I think you'll like it. I’m headed back to the house now. You done for the day or you got Club stuff you gotta do?”

“I got some free time babe. I'll head over after I drop J off.”

I mount my bike so J can get on while I finish up my phone call. “Okay sounds good Jax.” She grows quiet for a second before a sweet "I love you Jackson," comes through the earpiece. I can't help the smile hearing her initiate the L word that been circling my head for months.

“I love you too Harley.” I say sincerely, picturing her bashful, smile on the other end.

“I'll see you soon babe.”

“Okay, bye baby.” She says before disconnecting the call. Journee is settled in her seat behind me and I can practically feel her smile. “How'd that feel?” She asks learning forward to wrap her arms around my waist. “Pretty Amazing, I’ll never get tired of hearing that from her.” I answer honestly, pulling my helmet on.  I can always be honest and real around J. “I know the feeling.” She says giving me a squeeze. She leans forward to place an affectionate kiss on my check.“I'm so happy for you Jackson. For both of you.” She says.

I thread my fingers in her course curls and cup the back of her head. After Pressing a firm kiss to her cheek, I rest my head on top of hers for a moment. “Thank you, Journee. For everything.” I sincerely say.

There is no doubt in my mind if it hadn’t been for my baby sister I wouldn’t be in this amazing stage with Lee.

Knowing me I would’ve fucked us up by now. She gives me a squeeze before situating in her seat. “All right, enough with the chick flick moment. Take me home chauffer, time for me to go see my old man.” She says like a little kid getting ready to open presents as soon as she gets home. “Yes ma'am.” I tease starting my bike and heading out. ~~~~~ A/N: In case ya’ll were wondering this was what Tellerford was thinking Lee’s Crow Looks like. It’s based off a Design the show produced and was tweaked to fit our image lol. So we thought you might like a little glimpse into what’s in our head. 

[kfpaddle]

How To Come Up With Excellent Invention Ideas

Learning how to come up with good invention concepts that are within your budget plan to prototype and maker is not constantly a very easy job.

The reality is that I have actually been an inventor for greater than twenty years and even I in some cases do not know exactly how to come up with excellent invention ideas. It is a matter of trial and error integrated with little expertise in the prospective market.

Product Ideas You Can Invent

Family Pet Related Products

Camera Accessories

Automotive Add-on

High Priced Innovation Products

Searching Equipment

Diving related items

Boating Devices

Golf Products

Sporting Item

Outdoor camping Equipment

High-End Home Items

Motorcycle Accessories

Bicycle Tools

Exercise Devices

Construction Devices

ToolsAnd there are hundreds of even more categories you can discover.

Find Markets With Money

Just bear in mind to choose a specific niche market for your invention that has a customer base of people prepared to invest cash. This video clip aids discuss just how you have to think about the market first and also at what rate you can market your inventions.

Determine The Market

That's right, you find the marketplace where individuals are willing to invest real money on each item. That's typically somewhere between $150-$ 300 per thing in my experience and afterward, you invent products for those consumers.

You can find lower list price items to invent but keep in mind that you will certainly need to market two times as numerous $50 products as $100 products and four times as numerous $25.00 retail items. If you sell items with an average list price of $300.00 it won't take numerous sales to get to a million dollars in earnings. That is if you leave on your own enough earnings margin on each product you invent.

As an example, below is a $149.00 retail science task that I designed. The Sonic Levitation Equipment is a basic digital gadget that only took me a couple of weeks to create a construct.

This is a brand-new method of believing when you learn exactly how to come up with good invention ideas and not everyone will certainly concur with me. Just make sure you ask individuals that have created items as well as made cash like me before you comb off these recommendations. Certain you may have a wonderful idea for some brand-new clothespin or potato chip bag better but keep in mind that those products are very easy to copy, the market for dimes and leave little area for profit even when you might have the potential to market millions of units of the product you designed.

Also read: how does inventhelp work

Invention Truths

Obtaining your idea out of your head and also right into your hands is just the first in a lengthy set of actions towards ending up being a successful inventor.

Exactly how ahead up with great invention ideas is a bit more challenging than merely having a concept and also declare a patent if you intend to make any money with your invention. DO NOT get fooled by all those people and also invention business telling you that they will certainly aid certify your concept to the sector. In most cases, it will certainly never take place and also they will certainly simply take your money and also leave you with what you started with ... just an invention suggestion and also no final product or model.

We all have concepts that we believe are the following billion-dollar chance, yet the trouble is you require to make that idea a truth. The best suggestions for inventions are the ones that people will certainly want to purchase so that as inventors, we can continue to come up with more wonderful concepts.

The only good ideas are the ones that we get out of our heads and also develop into products. Transforming a suggestion into a tangle product is not easy for a lot of us. It's not because we do not have the abilities however even more from the anxiety of trying. Many people obtain hung up on this idea that someone is mosting likely to come and duplicate it before they even attempt to produce it. The weird reality about this is that you have already failed if you don't at least attempt to begin dealing with the invention suggestion. This adverse way of thinking is so impractical, and also I can not tell you the number of times I have heard it, as well as I see it as an excuse for you not to begin working.

File for a patent if you must

The next problem that emerges is an inventor assuming that they require a patent. While patents do play a crucial role in the invention process, most of us can not manage the costs associated with both submitting a utility patent and then safeguarding it ought to any person attempt to infringe on our idea. Often, it would certainly be less expensive as well as less dangerous if you just constructed your item and began selling it to customers online. The option is up to you and it is best to ask a patent lawyer what it will set you back to patent your invention before choosing.

If it makes you feel much better, head out as well as get an energy patent or whatever shields your invention best. You will certainly require to see a patent attorney, so be prepared to invest some money. After you pay all the fees as well as get your patent authorized, you possibly will be no better you earning money with your suggestion. The stats aren't in your support because a couple of licenses recover also their declaring fees.

Pretty much every one of my ideas has been duplicated. The trick is that by the time this happens, I have currently made my cash and moved onto something new. And that's the means you need to consider protecting your inventions. Become the leader in the marketplace by producing initial items and then maintain introducing more concepts.

Also read: InventHelp inventions

Offer your product worldwide over the internet

The web has altered the way the globe operates. When you're thinking of your suggestions, they must be things that we can sell on the web. That's the only location where we will certainly have the ability to be competitive initially.

As we expand, we may attempt to sell through stores, however, we ought to set up our business to make sure that distributors can do all that part of the job for us. We do this by supplying a rate structure that motivates firms to intend to market our items.

What's interesting is all the unrestricted possibilities of the ideas that you can dream up. I have discussed this a million times. You need to research the market first to see what other items are out there, how much they're costing, their quality, and also, most notably, just how much you believe they will cost to make. The truth is that you can develop an endless number of suggestions. For you to produce the prototype and afterward make your first one hundred items of the item is another story.

Keep in mind, we constantly discuss the reality that you should just make one hundred pieces the very first time out. This way, if nothing takes place, despite just how tough you try to market them, you haven't lost that much money. I am not attempting to crush your desires. By only constructing one hundred pieces, we are lowering our danger to almost nothing. In the probability that your item achieves success, you can get even more stock very rapidly.

I assure you that even if you stop working on your very first invention, you will find out a lot that even the 2nd, the third, the fourth, or perhaps the fifth will become your big idea, your great invention. I understand that's discouraging to hear that it might not take place out the gate, however that's life

and also think of all the important things that you'll find out in the process. Even if you shed a few thousand bucks, it won't be enough to make you wish to give up your occupation as an inventor. It must inspire you to try once again!

Follow: InventHelp Instagram

The most effective concepts for inventors

You may be surprised to uncover that as an inventor, I do not come up with my suggestions first. I generally see the chance in a market where there are individuals with money to spend as well as not enough exciting items offered in that particular niche. If you do think of a concept initially, you require to dig much deeper and also ensure that there will be enough passion in your invention to ensure that it deserves investing your money and time into the concept. Without the potential for sales as well as a profit, there will be a little factor to introduce your item right into the market.

[yuvon-writes-letters]

Hello again dear friend. Maybe friend. Or whatever. (I guess it'll take time to figure out whether we'll really call each other friends? :) )

How much time went by since the last letter I sent you? For me it's been almost two days. Your reply came this morning, but I needed some time to get over the call I told you.

The call, and honestly also you and your Jake. Don't get me wrong, I'm still absolutely glad I found someone to talk to! I also want to thank you for giving me Jakes message. But I was still having some doubts...How can I be sure this all is real? You are real? And not lying to me?

I'm scared and honestly, you do not figure out that there really is some messed up multiverse and some kind of...trickster entities who like to play weird games everyday. Like..How did you even figure out that an entity brought you to this place? (Even though I have to admit; maybe I would've thought the same thing in your situation.) To bring my emotions more near to you: I'm sighing right now. I guess I'm just scared this is another kind of sick mind play.

Aaaaaand I start babbling again.

The second thing I wanted to adress; the call. Like you said there weren't many options I had in mind, but I still was kinda hoping for..I don't know, just a spam call? Since I didn't hear from the Crow-Crew.

But it wasn't. Not that I would know. I didn't pick up the call, but some time later an unknown number sent me a picture of THE mask. Ya know what I'm talking about? Nothing more. Just the picture. (I'm sighing again. Really much today...)

What I'm trying to do is reaching Jake now..I mean, maybe this time-stopping-thingy ended by now? Or, to say it in your words, a weird entity started messing around again.

Well, I hope this letter wasn't to accusing or rude..Because, honestly, even if it was a weird mind game...I wouldn't want to lose you and your contact now.

Liska🐾🔥

Liska,

If you want to be friends, I'd love to be :)

It's... been a couple of hours since the last letter? I think. It's hard to tell time, here. Wait, I'll ask Jake. ...He says something like four hours, but he didn't think to keep track. Great, now we get to deal with time bullshit. Wonderful. Excuse me while I scream in frustration for a moment.

I mean, fair. You don't really have much of a reason to trust me, I guess, other than the proof I gave to Rai that I'm involved with the case. If you want any more evidence, though, I will say that I've got very strong suspicions as to why you mentioned you wanted to make Chinese food in your last letter. It's across from the motel room, isn't it?

Additionally, to be fair, I've very little reason to believe you either. However, given both that Rai is who they say they are, the contents of the letter that started it all, and our similar relationship dramas, I think I can safely assume that you are at least heavily involved in the Duskwood case, and that you're taking the same role that Rai and I am. So I'm choosing to trust you, here. Not like you can use any of this information to hurt me, anyhow XD I'm in a pocket dimension slash limbo prison thing, after all.

I don't know for SURE that it's an entity that brought me here, but it seems likely, doesn't it? I mean, this... place was clearly CONSTRUCTED, looking at the library, the game room, the comfy room, and the initial letter that started all this shit. Constructed for ME, in particular. Unless this is some weird as hell manifestation of my subconscious or something, that implies intelligent design.

Then again, I do have a habit of jumping straight from point A to point C, and skipping B in the process. I could be wrong. The "eldritch" descriptor is because in the works I read/watch/play, dimensional travel almost always ends up with Lovecraftian monsters somewhere in the mix of the bad guy rosters. Again, I made assumptions there. Whoops.

Huh. So, Duskwood is in stasis, but someone still sent a photo of the MWAF mask... grrrr. (There's a rough pencil sketch of the MWAF's mask here, with cartoonish inked X's over the "eyes.") This complete lack of logic is what I really hate about dealing with these reality warping assholes. Yes, definitely try to reach your Jake. Don't repeat my mistakes, just tell him everything if you manage to reach him. Good luck. Sincerely.

You're being rightfully skeptical. I didn't take offense at anything. When you're in situations like ours, not even the weird shit happening around us but just the Duskwood case itself, you really start doubting everything, don't you?

Or is that just me?

Jake thinks that the picture of the mask was either a threat or a message of some sort. He's recommending you keep an eye out for raven signs, or (given how things are going over on my side) just literal ravens. He's not sure whether you should follow them or run from them if you find them, though. He's also asking if there was anything in the background of the image.

I hope your Jake responds to you soon :(

—Yuvon and Jake

(The letter tucks itself in the paper clip with the others.)

[taeggukstime]

I am a taekookers but I can't blind to see that their profession is not a joke.

Sara, please cmiiw

Agt/sept 2019 tattoo girl scandal

JK apologized during the BV shoot.

Dec 2019 nape kiss

Jan 2020 grammy carpet and gda backhug

April 2020 jikook started sharing car

Don't you think JK really worked hard for his ship? He knew the consequenses of his scandal. He can't lose his fans even he was so afraid.

We should consider his job as an idol. Thinking how much fans he might lose. Rather than to explain who's the girl to him, he choosed to work harder for his ship.

I know it's sound rude, but he can't sacrifise his idol life. That's his dream and he love it so much....

And also from the company side, they're lesser favoured him. They let dispatch posted news about itaewon.

Sometimes I just want to stop analyse them. To me, TK is heavy material and never enough to dig. I was like what if this whole scenario was made up by company just for a reality show like Kardashian family??? I'm so skeptical and blank no idea in my mind

What kept me going all this time is expert analysis of TK' s body language. I believe because it's science. All BL expert said there's something more than friends between them. Not to mention they are dating or not because nobody knows.

Sara, do you believe what expert said about them????

Yes, I do believe the experts in terms of them being attracted to each other & having been intimate. I first noticed they liked each other romantically due to their body language back when they were young teens and had only ever been friends. It's relatively easy to know if people like each other, but it gets more complicated if you want to know the exact state of their relationship. For that you have to pay special attention to events, testimonies, off-handed comments, etc, and maybe we're lucky to figure it out. Whatever point they're at the moment, I'm positive they truly love each other because they've given way too many hints about it as well as about their identity and future hopes (I'm making a video to somehow adjust & expand the theory I initially presented but I started with a specific structure in mind & now I've broken it so I'm not sure how long it'll take + I'm not sure if I want to tackle recent times yet. It'll include a lot of reused clips though and it's probs boring).

Are you wondering if him & the tattoo girl were more than friends? Well, I doubt it. Nowadays I don't think TK were "formally" dating at that time, but I don't really see Jk seeking other people while having this other situation with Tae & being in love with him. The hug could've been completely innocent & platonic, but since they're from the opposite gender people make a big deal about it. Another idea that floats around in my mind is: what if the scandal was planned to reduce gay rumors? It sounds silly & I'm not claiming it, but my mind just wonders in a lot of different directions in order to see if it would make sense - even if I end up discarding it. The scandal wasn't THAT big of a deal (just a hug), and it didn't have long-term consequences, but it left a looooooot of people with the idea of him possibly dating that girl in the back of their minds. Some idols have even been confirmed to be dating & their career continued without much of a problem (Kai & Jennie, etc). On the other hand, if he really was dating her I don't think his ships would do anything to help his case. Most army don't believe in same-gendered ships in the slightest and they only enjoy their interactions as a cute bromance or simply fetishize them. The kpop industry knows this so that's why they keep using & encouraging fanservice among members as a marketing strategy without it being considered a real threat that could put their image at stake. Every group does it as it's a standard practice and seen as completely normal. I've seen idols full on kiss on the lips on stage & in skits just for the sake of FS and people just giggle. There's even that popular paper game where the whole fun of it is see if it falls & members accidentally kiss, etc. Believe me when I say that's only the hardcore type of FS but it's actually low-key implemented anywhere a camera is rolling. Taekook & Jikook, etc, have always engaged in it.. it's not like they suddenly started after the scandal with that girl. If a kpop company makes any type of effort to hide the bond of two members, then you can bet there's something real going on between them that is a matter of concern. Think about the time staff "discretely" asked Tae to leave Jk's live in May of 2019. Bighit doesn't mind interactions that can be seen as fanservice, but they can't trust them during a live without any type of control because they can accidentally expose themselves by off-handed comments that hint towards a non-platonic real-life dynamic and - as said - there's truth behind it.

Now that you mention it, I agree the gda backhug was planned fanservice (unplanned FS also exists), but I've always seen the nape kiss at the airport as Jk stumbling. I mean, judging by his body movements, the situation and him having a mask, bumping with Tae's hair rather than nape, etc. Anyways, FS doesn't automatically mean the pair can't have real feelings, even if they indeed participate in what could be considered a theatre. Notice how I didn't include heavy affection as proof in video "taekook proof" video, though even when they do FS I do think their body language can give their feelings away & I've clearly noticed on occasions.

When it comes to BH letting dispatch slander them...it also happened to Yoongi with his mixtape. That's not the company's fault. Maybe they tried breaking off their relationship with dispatch but quickly went back to making business with them after those articles came out.

[honey-girlie]

every kind of way epilogue

chapter: 4/4

word count: ~6k (lol it’s longer than all of the other chapters)

a/n: i wasn’t planning on writing an epilogue, but someone on reddit was interested in reading about Jake and MC winning the finale. so this final (for real final) chapter is dedicated to that person!

thanks so much for reading/liking/reblogging/writing super nice tags, as always!!! you are all so sweet! 💛💛💛

[link to chapter 1] [link to chapter 2] [link to chapter 3]

[link to ao3]

x x x

Eris blinked, staring dumbly at Jen. She must have heard her wrong when the latter announced who won.

She must have, because the very idea of her and Jake wasting the whole summer then coupling up two days before the Love Island final but still coming out as the winners was...

It was absurd, to say the least.

But when Jen and Tim beamed at her and Jake, rushing towards them with open arms, Eris forced herself to face the very absurd reality she was living.

They had won. Somehow.

She burst out a disbelieving laugh as Jen hugged her tightly. Beside her, Jake was wrapped up in his own hug with Tim and looking just as stupefied. When he turned to her, he joined in on the laughter.

“You guys, you did it!” Jen squealed as she pulled away. Her eyes were full of unshed tears, but the excitement for Eris and Jake was evident. “I’m so happy for you!”

“I —” Eris stammered, her brain still trying to catch up. “I’m —”

Jake jumped in and thanked her, saving Eris from embarrassment with his usual eloquence. Tim and Jen quickly congratulated them for a job well done before they were called over by the producers, then they hurried away from the fire pit and left Eris and Jake alone.

She faintly shook her head and glanced over at Jake, whose eyes were bright with elation.

“How in the hell—?”

He grinned from ear to ear. “I have absolutely no idea.”

Eris laughed again as she flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a near death grip. He embraced her with just as much fervor before bending down and melding their lips together. It was the clumsiest kiss they’ve ever shared from the way they were smiling like idiots.

Love Island 2018 Winners. It was the last thing she expected, although maybe after all they’ve been through, it was the universe’s way of apologizing. She’d gladly accept, particularly if that apology included £50,000 in her pocket.

The next few minutes passed in a blur as she and Jake were thrust about by the crew, making sure their hair was perfect and makeup wasn’t smudged before walking out of the villa. Once their appearances were green-lighted, they stood hand-in-hand behind the doors and awaited their announcement.

Eris had just enough time to glance up at Jake and give him a wide smile. Her incredulity had waned, and all that was left was euphoria.

Despite her apathy towards the public’s opinion over her and Jake, she couldn’t be more flattered that they were chosen as the best couple. Perhaps they loved the story. The way she and Jake had gotten together could have been scripted, for Christ’s sake. It was that dramatic, though the payoff had been more than worth it.

He returned her smile and began to lean in for a kiss, but the doors suddenly flew open and blinding lights assaulted her vision. Eris hissed a colorful curse, distantly hearing Jake laugh beside her before it was drowned out by a roaring audience. Jake squeezed her hand and tugged her along onto the stage, and in a flash, her annoyance evaporated. She forgot to be anything but thrilled, especially when she spotted her family and best friends in the enormous crowd.

Everyone quieted at the voice booming over the loudspeaker.

“Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners of Love Island 2018 — Eris and Jake!”

Even if the applause nearly shattered her eardrums, Eris grinned through it all, waving at the mass of people along with Jake. His firm grip on her hand was grounding in the midst of all the craziness.

An image then appeared on the giant screen above the villa doors behind them. Eris and Jake twisted around and tilted their heads up. She stifled a groan at the words that came out of the speakers.

“Eris, welcome to your Love Island Journey.”

“Oh god,” she muttered. She did not need a recap of her repeated failures in the villa, thank you very much.

Of course, Jake heard her. He shot her an amused look and leaned his head in.

“Come on, it won’t be that bad,” he said in a low voice.

“Well, it’s not your wonderful little journey we’re watching, is it?”

He shook with silent laughter. Before the video played on screen, he said, “I’ll find you a glass of wine the moment this is over.”

The clips started from the very first day when Eris had picked Jasper. She winced as she watched herself argue with him by the loungers, the daybeds, the fire pit. It was painful remembering how horrid the two of them had been as a couple.

“It wasn’t long before things came to an end,” the voice-over said.

Eris scoffed. “Things hadn’t even started with him.”

“He was such a massive prat to you,” Jake commented with a frown. She and Jake hadn’t spoken much on the first day in the villa. It was only in the days following that he had learned enough from her about how awful it had been with Jasper. “It’s still so weird to me that you were ever partnered up with him.”

“It barely lasted, but trust me, it’s weird for me too.” Eris glanced over at the other Islanders and unsuccessfully tried to spot the man in question. “He’s much better suited for Allegra anyway.”

The video continued, showing her talking with Mason and Levi. They were all smiles and laughs and not-so-subtle muscle flexes as they approached her, whether or not she was alone. She couldn’t deny she enjoyed the way they fought for her attention, even if things remained friendly on her end.

While her primary interest had always been in Jake, Eris still hadn’t discouraged either man at the time. But she didn’t regret her choice. It was important for her to play the game in those early stages. As the clips went on, she was just a bit surprised at exactly how much flirting Mason and Levi had done. It didn’t seem so excessive back then.

“Wow, you were cracking on with everyone, huh?” Jake said. Rather than sounding accusatory, however, his voice was thoughtful.

Eris shifted in place as she watched Levi sidle up beside her on the daybeds. “Can’t blame me for making do with what I had.”

“No, of course I don’t. Everyone did the same.” He huffed a small laugh. “Well, everyone except me. I just didn’t have the confidence. Otherwise, I’d be cracking on with you right beside them.”

She smiled. If only. When Jake really tried, he could make her blush and stammer like no one else.

More drama played out on screen, showing her argument with Allegra and Jen in the bathroom and the fight over Mason by the fire pit. She recalled the severe annoyance she felt at Allegra’s constant attacks. It wasn’t Eris’ job to coddle the girl, despite whatever lasting insecurities she had from her previous relationships.

Nonetheless, Eris encouraged Allegra and Mason to keep trying. They only stayed together for another twenty-four hours, to no one’s surprise.

“You liked Mason, didn’t you?” Jake asked. Her friendship with Jake had been budding at the time, and she remembered ranting extensively about the whole Mason situation to him. “At least a little bit. Why did you keep them together?”

Eris raised a brow and looked at him. “Because I wanted you more.”

He turned to her, his mouth parted, and then he grinned as his cheeks went red.

“I love hearing you say that.”

They both looked back at the screen. The audience laughed at the Art and Graft challenge when the Islander’s artworks were shown. Although Eris wished she had a hand in the actual piece, she enjoyed seeing what Jasper had come up with. Even better, Jake’s strange paintbrush-human with tiny feet was still one of the funniest things she had seen in the villa.

Beside her, he merely smiled and shrugged. Eris laughed to herself, vowing to give him some painting lessons when they got home.

The next recoupling played, and Rohan and Cherry sauntered into the villa. Eris remembered tensing up at the arrival of a new girl. She hated feeling threatened by other women, but it was inevitable on a dating show, especially when said woman was gorgeous. Luckily, Cherry ended up coupling with Mason.

Jake squeezed Eris’ hand while they watched her past self choose him. Despite having grown much closer to him then, she still hadn’t been able to gauge whether or not he actually fancied her. They didn’t talk about the decisions they were going to make that night for the recoupling either, so it had been a gambit picking him.

Then she had noticed the unmistakable glee in his expression when she called his name, and her fears had vanished.

“I was so worried Cherry was going to pick you first,” Eris said. “I thought I was going to go mad.”

Jake nodded. “I was worried too. I wasn’t sure where we stood or if you picked me just as friends or because you knew Erikah wanted Rohan.” She looked over and saw his lips twist into a frown. “That could have been it for us. We could have stayed coupled up since that night, but I was so scared to really make a move. Above everything, I wanted to keep our friendship.”

Eris sighed, her brows knitted together.

She still couldn’t believe how much they skirted around each other despite being close mates and a couple. Countless times she questioned herself why she hadn’t just talked to him like she normally did, why she suddenly lacked the courage to be honest. Maybe it was both the villa and Jake himself that messed with her head.

The screen displayed videos of the short amount of time they coupled up. Aside from the fact the two of them flirted a little more, they acted no different from when they were mates. She never went beyond a hug or a hand on his arm, and he did the same.

Eris cursed herself for it. What if the reason he hadn’t made a move was because he simply mirrored her behavior? What if she had acted differently? What if she had tried kissing him?

And when clips of Levi spending more time with her appeared in the video, chief among her many conjectures was what if Levi hadn’t grafted on her?

Eris stared as he joined her by the pool on the day she’d won a date from the Pied Off challenge. Right out of the gate, he started flirting hard. His smiles were coy, his body language confident. It was slightly embarrassing to admit that even if she fancied Jake the most, Levi’s lines still worked on her. His charm was undeniable, and he knew all the right ways to make a lady swoon.

Up until then, Eris had kept things strictly platonic because of how strong her relationship with Jake had become. Then when Levi started grafting, Jake grew distant. Present, but distant, both as a friend and a partner. She was flooded with doubt and battled with herself on whether or not he actually had feelings for her.

That was why she let Levi get so near her by the pool and why she hadn’t rejected his advances. She’d been so dumb, just because she felt humiliated.

More of her and Levi played, then her heart broke when it cut to a shot of Jake watching them from the kitchen, the troubled wrinkle on his forehead ever prominent. He glanced down and fiddled with his water bottle on the counter before raising his eyes again and keeping them locked on her.

Her hand in his tightened. “Is that when you decided —?”

Jake sighed. “Yeah. Seeing him hang around you so much... I really believed I ruined everything.”

“Jake,” Eris whispered. “I’m sorry.”

He let go of her hand only to wrap his arm around her shoulders, and she looked up at him as he smiled. “I feel like we’ve been over this,” he said wryly.

She released a huff of a laugh. “I know. It’s just different seeing it from your view.” She paused and said bluntly, “I kind of hate watching this.”

Jake chuckled as he rubbed her arm. “Same. But the best parts are coming up soon.”

Her journey continued, cutting to her date with Levi. Jake’s body went rigid beside her when Eris and Levi kissed, and she grimaced, willing the scene to be over as fast as possible.

“For the record,” she said, “you’re a much better kisser than he is.”

As if realizing how tense he’d become, Jake instantly relaxed. His tone was sheepish when he spoke.

“I won’t even lie. That does make me feel better.”

“Am I a better kisser than Cherry?”

He raised an eyebrow at her, looking highly amused. “Are you really fishing right now?”

Eris just shrugged. She spent an inordinate amount of time worrying that Jake and Cherry were actually going to go all the way as a couple. This one small validation was well-deserved, in her opinion. Petty, but deserved.

“Cherry and I never kissed.”

She widened her eyes. “What?”

“Not on the lips anyway. She would try, but I just couldn’t...” Jake trailed off as he smiled softly. “She wasn’t you.”

Her heart leapt. Flooded with warmth, Eris smiled back and looped her arm around his waist. She stood on her tiptoes, pressed a gentle kiss on his neck, and returned her gaze to the screen. Something else fluttered inside her too, but she ignored it.

At the next recoupling, Eris chose Levi and Jake was with Jen. The whole crowd began to murmur, knowing what came next that night.

With thinned lips, Eris watched herself react to Levi and Cherry’s kiss. Her expression was a mixture of incredulity and shock as she stood gobsmacked at the terrace doors. Tim hurried in beside her, instantly followed by Jake.

Eris had been too focused on the scene in front of her at the time that she never noticed the fury on Jake’s face and the menacing step he took towards Levi. Recalling his haste to defend her, chastise Levi, and lead her away from the terrace... It all made her throat tighten in emotion.

She swallowed thickly before speaking. “I’ve never seen you look that mad before.”

Jake was silent for a second before he sighed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been that mad before. I hated watching you go through that. I’m still a little angry with Levi for what he did.”

She rubbed his back soothingly, for both of their sakes. The way he had always supported her almost brought tears to her eyes, and she did her best to keep them at bay. That fluttering inside her intensified. Still, she couldn’t put a finger on it.

“It’s in the past. I’ve moved on from it. Best you do too.”

The clips went on to show Reese entering the villa and the recoupling afterward. Eris knew she had probably been ripped to shreds on social media for staying with Levi, and yet she had done it anyway.

It wasn’t an easy choice. The day after Cherrygate, he had groveled and turned on his charm more than ever, pleading his case that it was a spur of the moment thing.

I don’t know how, it just happened, he had insisted with apologetic eyes. Erikah got in my head, and I’d been overthinking things. But I swear, it didn’t mean anything.

The authenticity in his voice and expression caught her off-guard. Eris remained stoic towards him for a bit, but his obvious regret started to wear her down. For the first time, she didn’t go to Jake for advice, too afraid of what his answer might be. Would he have convinced her to make things work with Levi?

She didn’t have the backbone to be rejected by him a second time. So alternatively, she had sought out Talia.

Talia neither encouraged nor dissuaded her to stay with Levi, and instead she offered what she knew. He seemed genuinely remorseful for what he did, and he’d been brooding even more than usual on the terrace. She also mentioned how clear it was to the other Islanders how much he’s fancied Eris since the beginning. In the end, Talia smoothed her hair in a comforting gesture and suggested she take more time to think it over.

The video played Eris uttering Levi’s name at the recoupling. Her eyes flew to Jake’s reaction. His face remained as unreadable as it was that same night.

“What were you thinking then?” she asked him now. “Were you expecting it?”

Jake shrugged. It was the slightest bit stiff. “A little. I knew you weren’t going to pick Mason, for sure.” He paused. “But I’m still not totally clear on why you stayed with him. We never did talk about it.”

Eris chewed on the inside of her cheek. She’d actually considered Mason several times, but her tiny crush on him never stacked up to the potential she had with Levi. Aside from Jake, he was the only one she truly saw herself having a shot at a future with. But just barely. It was enough to pick him again for the recoupling.

“If it wasn’t going to be you, I thought I could make it work with him,” she said. “We got on well enough, and I know he regretted the kiss.”

“And after?”

Her lips curled into a small scowl. “He lost my trust after Cherrygate, and from then on, he started losing my interest. He was such an arsehole for expecting me to blindly fall back into his arms after what he did. Just because I stayed with him didn’t mean I was set on him.”

On cue, Eris observed the many clips that visibly showed her feelings for Levi fade. She’d long stopped cuddling with him in bed, and she subtly shirked away from his touch. After the disastrous Lie Detector challenge and that night’s recoupling, it was painfully clear that her smiles towards him were becoming forced too.

Instead, more of Eris and Jake rolled on the screen. Shots of them talking in both quiet and carefree tones or laughing with one another played in succession, as though they were spending every waking moment together.

A particular clip played of them hanging out on the bean bags, Jake making conversation as he mindlessly looked out at the Spanish hills. But Eris was staring right at him, a small smile on her face while she hung on to his every word.

The video transitioned again, showing them in the kitchen. It was her talking this time while she made a messy sandwich for herself and probably complained about the lack of crisps in the villa. Jake had been leaning on the counter next to her, his gaze flitting to her lips every few seconds.

Eris was floored. God, they had been so blind. How had neither of them caught each other’s stares or smiles? How had they missed the fact that they always subconsciously sat next to each other for meals, or the way they knew exactly how the other took their tea?

Their inside jokes, their shared looks of exasperation, their thoughtless touching. The way Eris would straighten out his tie before recouplings, the way Jake would adjust the clasp of her necklace back to the nape of her neck. Their small interactions were constant, each of them a blow to her chest.

She wanted to scoff. They looked bloody ridiculous dancing around each other. They looked...

Eris paused. She blinked at the screen.

Oh.

They looked like they were in love.

She felt the air leave her lungs as the fluttering in her abdomen consumed her whole.

Oh.

Well. At least she knew it wasn’t indigestion she was feeling. It still made her want to lay down.

Watching her journey through these clips didn’t show her anything new. It just opened her eyes to something she’s unknowingly come to familiarize herself with. That relentless fluttering — the warm, tingling sensation she always felt whenever she was around Jake. She knew it well. She’s just never been able to place a name to it until now.

Love.

She loved him. She loved Jake.

The revelation made her dizzy. She would have swayed if not for Jake’s arm around her shoulders.

“Oh my god,” Eris exhaled to herself.

Jake groaned under his breath, unaware of the earth-shattering epiphany she’d just experienced. He commented on their obliviousness all the same.

“I know. It’s almost embarrassing seeing us now. Like, yeah, I would look at you a lot. I just didn’t know I...” He rubbed the back of his neck and grimaced. “I didn’t know how much I did it. I didn’t know how much you did it either. But I probably would have dismissed it as something else anyway.”

Eris didn’t respond, her heart pounding fiercely inside her rib cage. Did he realize it too? Did he notice the language they’d unwittingly developed with one another, each gesture an unspoken but glaring truth?

It was right there. All this time, it was right in front of her, dangling in her face. Since the first day, they’d been leading up to it. She could see it now.

She loved him.

Did he love her too?

Mind reeling, Eris stared blankly as the video went on, displaying another recoupling and Lucy’s arrival in the villa.

Was it too soon for her? They had only gotten together three days ago, and every day since, they had already taken huge steps towards a serious relationship. But was she ready to admit that she was in love?

As soon as the question crossed her mind, she knew the answer.

Of course she was. The amount of time didn’t matter. Eris was confident in her feelings for him. They were stronger than they’ve ever been than with anyone else, and there was no doubt in her mind that they were only going to strengthen even further.

Plain and simple, he was it for her. No matter what her future looked like, she knew she wanted him by her side. No matter if he didn’t love her now, she knew they’d both get there.

Eris waited all summer for him. She was willing to wait even longer, as long as it took to hear those same words come out of his mouth.

Her cheeks hurt. It registered for her a moment later that it was because she was grinning wide enough to split her face in two.

Jake noticed her expression when he glanced at her, but he chalked it up to the video still playing on screen. It was displaying the scene on the terrace when they admitted their feelings for one another. The crowd whooped at the kiss they shared. Although for the sake of national television, the producers edited it to keep it tame.

Jake leaned down to whisper in her ear, his lips brushing against her skin. A delightful shiver ran through her spine.

“You made me the happiest bloke in the world that day. Seriously, I thought I was going to pass out. I’ve never been so terrified in my life.”

Eris gave a small laugh, barely an exhalation of air. She couldn’t seem to catch her breath. She loved him so much.

“You look great, though. Terrified, yes, but great. Only you could pull that off.”

“Well, I suppose they call me Sweetcheeks for a reason, yeah?”

“Careful there,” she murmured. “You’re liable to let all your little fans inflate that ego of yours.”

He snickered. “You sound jealous.” Gaping, Eris snapped her head towards him, but he cut her off. “You have no reason to be, Eris. Besides, you’re the only one who knows exactly how sweet my cheeks —”

“Jake, oh my god,” she choked out as her face flamed. Even if the audience couldn’t hear them, they were still mic’d up.

His laugh was pure sunshine. It spread throughout her body and lingered on her temple when he kissed her there.

“I absolutely adore you,” he sighed.

Eris bit her lip. The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she wanted to wait. He deserved more than a rushed confession in the middle of a massive crowd.

The final recoupling played. Jake looked more excited than he’s ever been the entire summer standing by the fire pit and calling her name. That same enthusiasm lasted for the rest of the show. It was evident in the following clips of them making their relationship official, their date by the beach, their last moment on the terrace. She looked just as ecstatic as him. She looked like a different person altogether.

Because you’re in love, the voice in her head reminded her. That fluttering refused to cease.

The screen finally went blank, and the crowd burst into raucous applause. Jake rubbed her arm.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked.

Eris laughed wryly. If not for that recap, she wouldn’t have had the staggering realization that she was so ridiculously in love, it rendered her breathless.

“Not at all,” she said. “I’d still love a glass of wine, though.”

He smiled. “Whatever the lady wants.”

A vibration in his pocket made him glance down. He took out his phone and raised his eyebrows at her at the text he received. It showed up on the screen above them too, for the audience to follow along.

Congratulations, Jake and Eris. The public voted for you as their favorite couple. You are the winners of Love Island 2018, and you now have a chance to receive the £50,000 prize!

#cantbuymelove #thefinalchoice

Eris felt her own phone vibrate in her hand, and she held it up for Jake to read.

However, it’s not quite that simple. You’ve spent the whole summer together. Your relationship has been tested every day, and today is no different.

In front of you are two envelopes. One of these envelopes contains the £50,000 prize money, and the other contains nothing.

Eris and Jake raised their heads and noticed the stand at the front of the stage. On either side were two large, golden envelopes.

In a moment, you will both take one envelope. The person who gets the winning envelope will have a BIG decision to make.

They must choose whether they want to share the money with their partner, or keep all of it for themselves. If you decide to keep it, you will go home with the full £50,000 prize, and your partner will go home with nothing. If you share it, you will both go home with £25,000.

It’s time to make your choice. Has this summer been about love or money?

Eris held back an eye roll. It was comical how easy of a decision this was. It was barely a decision at all.

Jake seemed to think similarly. His lips lifted into a smile as he turned to her.

“Choose carefully, now,” he said. “I’ll even let you pick first.”

The audience was quiet as she extracted herself from his grip and walked up to the stand. Flippantly, she took the envelope closest to her, then Jake strolled up beside her and took the other one. He peered at it, and at the last second, he snatched the envelope out of her hands and replaced it with his.

He grinned when Eris hit his arm with it.

“I can’t say I don’t want to have the pleasure of seeing that money in my hands,” he said, shrugging.

She scoffed and gestured at him. “Please, by all means. I’ll happily watch you come out empty-handed.”

Jake opened the envelope. He barked out a laugh and showed her the card.

Empty.

Triumphantly, she ripped her own envelope open. She was greeted by the lovely sight of glittery pink letters that read £50,000.

Eris stuck her tongue out at him. “That’s what you get for stealing from a girl.”

“I suppose I should have known better,” he conceded, his eyes twinkling. “So what’s it going to be, Eris?”

She took a deep breath and smiled sweetly at him. “I’m going to take the money.”

The crowd gasped, but Jake’s grin was crooked as he shook his head. The fact that he trusted her so much that he refused to even consider her bluff made her stomach riot.

I love you, she thought wildly as she met his bright eyes. I love you, I love you, I love you —

“You’re going to be the death of me, aren’t you?” he sighed fondly.

Eris laughed and threw the card down before launching herself at him. His arms wrapped tight around her as he picked her up, laughing alongside her.

“Of course I’m splitting the money with you!” she exclaimed.

The audience’s cheers were deafening, but Eris could only hear the sound of Jake murmuring in her ear.

“I can’t believe we won!” he said. “I can’t believe how much the public liked us. I can’t believe I switched envelopes.”

Eris chuckled as he set her down and cupped her face. She almost died at the tenderness in his expression.

“And I can’t believe I get to spend every day doing this to you,” he sighed before leaning in.

His lips were soft against hers. He kissed her languidly, as though they weren’t snogging in front of their friends and families or a crowd of millions; as though he had all the time in the world with nothing else to do but to stay locked in place with her, just like that.

The voice over the loudspeakers congratulating them tore her and Jake apart, then they turned to wave and grin at the crowd’s applause. Eris could just make out the other Islanders off to the side, who were either clapping politely or cheering just as loudly as the rest of the audience.

She scanned the sea of bodies to find her family and friends, then Jake tugging her in the opposite direction diverted her attention. His face was the very definition of joyful.

“Come and meet my mum!” he said. “She’s going to love you.”

Dazedly, Eris let him take her hand and guide her off stage, but before they got too far, she pulled him to a stop. Jake turned around and knitted his eyebrows together a little.

She wanted to wait until they were alone. She really did. She thought she had the willpower to hold off until she found the perfect moment together.

But she loved him with a fierceness that she was quickly learning was not something she could hide. It was vivid and relentless and it wanted to burst from every fiber of her being.

Her willpower was always shot to hell whenever Jake was concerned anyway. This was no different.

So it was without consent that the words tumbled out of her, unable to be tamed.

Eris looked up at him and took in the affection in his gaze. He squeezed her hand, and that did it for her.

She breathed, “I love you.”

Jake stilled. His widened eyes met hers.

A moment later, they were filled with unshed tears. His hands very slowly raised to cup her face. They shook like she was the most precious thing he’d ever held. She couldn’t help her own eyes from welling up too.

Jake’s voice was hoarse when he spoke. “Again,” he whispered. “Say it again.”

Her smile was tremulous. “Jake, I love you—”

He was on her the millisecond she finished getting the words out, capturing her bottom lip in a desperate kiss. Caught off-guard, Eris gasped, and he grabbed the opportunity to stroke his tongue with hers. Her head was swimming when he pulled back just a touch, brushing their lips together.

“I love you too,” he choked out. “I love you so much. I’m crazy about you, Eris.”

She could have crumpled at his feet. Eris knew she’d be overwhelmed when she heard him say those words back. What she didn’t expect was for it to send her to the verge of delirium. That telltale fluttering swallowed her whole as she let out a noise that was half a sob, the other half a strangled laugh.

“This is absolutely mental,” she said, thinking of how they only met each other mere weeks ago. “Are we mental?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

The tears fell from his eyes, and without thought, she wiped them away from his cheeks. Jake smiled as he cupped her face firmer.

“But I don’t care,” he breathed. “I don’t care about anything but loving you and being loved by you.”

She cried harder.  His ability to reduce her to a blubbering mess with words alone was the last thing she needed right now with a million cameras potentially filming their every move.

“Stop,” she pleaded. “Please. You’re going to ruin my makeup at this rate.”

Jake chuckled and gently kissed her forehead. Screw the prize money. She didn’t want to do much else other than to drag him to the closest bedroom and have her way with him.

Eris and Jake pulled apart when a few members of the crew hurried over with tissues and more makeup to retouch their faces. Once they were ready again, he wasted no time gathering her in a tender embrace and sighing into her hair. She closed her eyes in bliss, savoring another few moments with him.

“I suppose it was only fitting that we end our journey in the villa with you being the one to shock me with a confession this time,” he said.

Eris smirked. “You’ve caused me too many near heart attacks. I was left with no choice but to return the favor.”

“Ah. Your retribution, then, is it?”

“Yes. Ruthless, remember? Don’t think you’ve seen the last of my wrath, either.”

“You’re so weird, love,” he chuckled.

Her heart clenched at the endearment. She made it a personal goal right then to get him to call her that as often as possible.

“Gotta keep you on your toes,” Eris breathed. “You’ll never know with me.”

She felt him smile and hug her tighter.

“Yeah, my mum’s going to love you.”

Eris spent all summer trying to stuff down her feelings for Jake, but it was a fruitless endeavor. She was tired of shying away. So at every opportunity throughout the night, Eris would whisper those three words to him, without reservation or fear. To anyone else, they probably were sickeningly over the top and mushy. She didn’t care. It was worth it to see Jake give her that intense look of utter devotion, a look that told her he’d do anything she wanted if she asked him of it.

She said it when she met his mum and older sister, and when he met her own parents. She said it during the party, after their interviews, on the ride to their hotel.

She gasped it as he stripped her of her clothes. She moaned it as he rocked into her. She whispered it as they lay in each other’s arms in a sweaty mess of limbs.

“I love you too,” Jake sighed into her neck, and a smile spread across her lips.

There were few certainties she could count on in her life, but something in her knew without a doubt that Jake was always going to be one of them. And as he held her in his strong arms, she vowed to be the same for him.

Jake took notice of her wistful expression and caressed her hip. “Everything alright?”

Smiling wider, Eris nodded as she burrowed deeper into his warmth, drowning in the fluttering that overtook her.

Everything was perfect.

[azraanth]

This is analysis, not justification.

Okay.

Basically the last clip is Lucas not letting Lola see Eliott to apologize for her past behavior. Now, I have a few things to say.

Mistakes were made by the both of them or three for that matter. Lola, at the end, chose to go back to her old coping mechanisms when she has other options (talking to Daphné or Maya/Lamifex). She chose the easiest and the most familiar one. Which I don’t blame her for. For someone who’s been self-harming for quite a long time, it’s pretty hard to choose another option when the most familiar seems the safest. Her actions make sense (even though I don’t defend the writing of Skam France in this season, just to be clear), because she lost control on a few things : her relationship with both of her dads and else. So, the easiest options is either 1) retake control through self-harm (which is the drugs) 2) escape from her reality using those same drugs. Now, well, I do believe she chose to ask Eliott to come/join her because she wanted to talk to someone who understood her (which Eliott clearly does) and her mental health/mental illness and who wouldn’t judge her for relapsing. Or she just...didn’t want to be alone in her suffering, so she basically asked Eliott to share it for a few moments. She did ask of him to drink, while being aware of the fact that Eliott can’t take alcohol with his meds. Now, see. She didn’t made the choice for him. She didn’t force him. But, it’s a bit more complex than just simple facts. I will explain, just...wait.

The thing is, Eliott is someone who’s kind, empathetic and definitely gets attached to others quickly. He’s also really sensitive. He’s also have a really hard time trusting people concerning his mental health and goes directly to lie about it than to talk about it. (And it’s something that he still does)  He definitely sees himself in Lola. He connects with her on a lot of levels because he lived/is still living this time to time. He doesn’t want her to be alone in this. This is simply compassion and kindness showing. Now, last night, she asked him to be a friend, which is exactly what he wants to be to her : a friend she can count on when there’s good and bad moments. He wants to be what she needs and she asked of him...to be there. So he did. He just, simply didn’t think about his own mental health and else when he chose to join her. He didn’t do the reasonable thing last night. He saw someone in pain and decided that she shouldn’t live through this alone and he didn’t think of himself. He just didn’t know how to help her, so he stayed and thought “It can’t be that bad, right ?” and you know what happens after. So yes, this choice was solely his. But he wasn’t look out for himself, there. His priority was his friend, in pain. So, at the end, the problem isn’t the fact that Lola “dragged” him into this. He chose to do it himself, but I don’t think he was very aware of what it would do to him. 

Now about Lola getting into his head : this is exactly a common attitude from her. When she’s in pain, she hurts other people. This is not excusable, of course it isn’t. But what she did isn’t surprising. She does needs to be held accountable. Lucas did that : he didn’t forgive her immediately like Daphné, Maya and her father tend to do, simply because she’s in pain. Eliott, well, when it comes to him, I think he does have insecurities about his mental illness. She got into his head because he already thought about this. That’s it. He can’t control how he feels about things. That’s just how it is. It’s not because he’s what, 19 ? 20 ? That he has doesn’t have to let other people get into his head, that he shouldn’t be allowed to feel or have insecurities. What he feels is real, important and shouldn’t be...dismissed. I don’t think he needs to be forgiven for his emotions, insecurities or else. He doesn’t need apologizing for this. But he does need to have a proper conversation with his boyfriend about this specific topic. But, it’s not Lola’s fault that he feels this way or Lucas. He has a history of...being controlled, dismissed, etc. So of course his attitude will be defensive, and of course he’s not going to be a 100% honest right away. This is, just coping mechanisms and he has to unlearn them to grow and to trust people a bit more concerning his mental illness and lean on them. Which he’s kinda starting to do with Lola...but, he needs to confide in people who cares for him. Because it might hurt them in the long run.

Now, Lucas...Lucas. We know how he is : angry, wary, internalize a lot of his feelings and emotions so that no one worries about him, so that everything is alright in the world. Which is kind of him. But he’s also doesn’t have much tact, is insensitive until he’s called out on it. This is a flaw of his. But, there’s also a lot of goodness in him. That’s why the major part of this fandom is so eager to forgive him. Because he’s important to us - to me. I recognize this fact about me. I do love him. But this doesn’t stop me from being able to analyze and understand him and his flaws. He’s not a perfect person. Now, we have to see his side of things : his boyfriend lie to him (which he must know on some degree), asks of him to give his “role” to a girl he barely knows, and this girl, it seems, have a lot of issues, is angry at people (he saw her being physically violent with someone after all and that is insanely scary for anyone), talk harshly, doesn’t show much kindness. Do you see where this is going ? Yes. He didn’t saw all of the right things she did, all of the kindness, empathy, all of her efforts...he never saw that. We did. Not him. Of course he’s going to be wary of that girl when she starts being friend with Eliott. He does know, on the other hand, how it is to be in a situation that is this much...messed up and he could be more sensitive and kind to her, use a bit of compassion and kindness he’s showing to Eliott. He could be more understanding. That is true. He could also understand that Lola is someone that Eliott can confide in and he might need it and, maybe, he understands, on some level because he still tried to make efforts too. But, that was before what happened last night. In his POV, that girl managed to push his boyfriend into drinking while being very much aware of the fact that he can’t. For him, she exploited Eliott’s kindness and managed to hurt him. So yes, he gets angry at her, rightfully so and doesn’t want to listen because himself is blinded by anger. He gets protective. Now, we know things about Lucas : he can be understanding of people if you show him that those people are worth it or if you explain to him what’s wrong, what hurts them etc. He can show insane levels of compassion, he just needs to let his pride, anger on the side to simply listen. He needs to listen. Because right now ? He’s not listening to Eliott or Lola. He needs time, but he will come around. He always have. 

He needs to let Eliott handle this because he can’t decide for him. This is an Eliott matter. He also needs to understand that...sometime, this kind of shit will happen, because he can’t prevent it. It’s just part of life. It’s okay too. Now, well, I do believe he needs to learn that Eliott can handle himself and let him make his own mistakes and learn from them. That it’s not up to him to decide of who Eliott needs to doesn’t needs in his life. Lucas needs to trust people too. But that doesn’t invalidate his emotions or feelings, it’s just that...feelings aren’t facts. Eliott needs to learn how to lean on people, trust them, not lie etc. Lola needs to find other ways of expressing her hurt than by making other people miserable, by using her words. 

Now I do believe that all three need to apologize for their actions (or words)  but not for their feelings. Lola doesn’t need to apologize for her mental illness, her feelings or else. Neither does Lucas or Eliott. Because it’s all valid : they were all hurt a lot. They have the right to feel it. It’s just their behaviors that needs to be corrected. Behaviors doesn’t mean their characters. 

Lola needs to apologize for hurting people/Eliott. She also needs to held accountable and, Lucas just did that. She needs to understand that she fucked up and that she needs to do more than just talk. Because that’s not how it works. She needs to do physical things : go to therapy, talk to someone, search for help. But not...come around and wish that everything will be solved, so she can feel better. Lucas needs to apologize for his words. Eliott needs to apologize for lying (and not for feeling insecure). 

It’s just gonna be a lot of work, after that.