#i carry a large binder on all my calls

[fluent-in-lesbianism]

nobody told me being a social worker was 90% collecting and hoarding resource pamphlets from every community agency i visit like a little pamphlet goblin bc god forbid i have a client who needs to know how to regulate their b12 level and my dumb ass didn't grab those free How to Regulate Your B12 Level pamphlets i saw at that clinic two fucking years ago

[atticssmellgood]

I have a request!

I've been feeling super super dysphoric lately and haven't been able to find a fic that just scratches my brain in the right way, and I was wonder if I could request a Spencer Reid x ftm reader where the reader is feeling super dysphoric bc they're pre transition, like no binder level and Spencer helps them feel better with like little words of affirmation shit u know, nothing like super specific you can have creative freedom just definitely words of affirmation

thank you so much!!

To Carry the Weight of a Dead Person with You

Spencer Reid x ftm trans!reader

Summary: Reader feels really dysphoric, Spencer helps

Contains: gender dysphoria, slight mention of misgendering/dead name, hurt/comfort, words of affirmation, slight mention of body parts that could make someone feel dysphoric

A/N: HEY!!! Okay so sorry this took forever to post but I’ve actually been wanting to write this concept for a while, so I’m really glad you requested it! I kinda based this off of my own experiences with gender dysphoria so I hope it still resonates. I hope this makes you feel better🫶🏻 also the title of this is a lyric from “Sweet Cis Teen” by dazey and the scouts

(ALSO LOOK AT HIM HES SO CUTE)

You stand, naked in front of the bathroom mirror, steam from your previous shower fogging up the edges and making the air feel heavy.

It was hard taking a shower when you couldn’t even look down at your own body, and sometimes you succeeded—albeit with a bit of effort. Today was, unfortunately, not one of those days.

Your reflection seemed to beckon you to take a glance when you walked by it and towards the door, it always did. Except today, you listened.

Who knows how long you’ve been standing there, staring at all the parts that just didn’t fit. Your chest that wasn’t flat, your hips that were too wide, your waist that had a curve. None of it felt familiar despite the fact that you’ve lived with this body your entire life.

This week had been especially hard to deal with, the dysphoria practically eating at your insides whenever you had a moment alone with your thoughts. It certainly didn’t help when almost everywhere you went, people just saw you as a woman with short hair and in turn you would get called ma’am by a barista or miss by a stranger trying to catch your attention. You hated it, and yet no matter how hard you tried to ignore them, the thoughts and the comments, you always gave in eventually.

Maybe that’s why you felt stuck, staring at a reflection that you never really recognized as your own. The thoughts began to swarm your mind once more, repeating the one word you hated more than anything.

Girl, girl, girl, girl, gi-

A sudden knock on the bathroom door ripped you away from your trance and a sweet voice spoke to you through the barrier.

“Y/n, you okay in there?” Spencer asked tentatively. He seemed to be a little worried.

You’re quick to respond as you finally turn away from the mirror and crack open the door a bit so your body is hidden behind it but your face is still visible. “Yeah, I’m alright.” You plaster on a smile, one that you hope convinces him of your statement. He looks a little skeptical at first but smiles back.

“Sorry, you were just taking a while and I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He leans in and gives you a small peck on the lips “I’ll leave you alone now.” He grins and turns to leave, walking back to the bedroom.

You close the door and lean your forehead against it with a sigh, closing your eyes, water droplets still dripping from your hair and onto your bare shoulders.

—————————

Not too long after Spencer came to check on you, you emerged from the bathroom dressed in a baggy shirt and large sweatpants. Your moment in the bathroom still clung to the back of your mind as you stepped into the shared bedroom, the door creaking slightly.

You leaned up against the doorframe and smiled at the sight before you. Spencer was sitting against the headboard with his glasses on, reading through a novel rather quickly. He seemed so engrossed in the words on the page that he hadn’t even noticed you watching him, admiring how the dim light of the lamp on the bedside table highlighted his features perfectly. It warmed your heart to see him waiting for you to come to bed, despite how tired he probably was from his eventful day at work.

I padded over to my side of the bed and slowly laid down, not wanting to disturb him. My efforts were in vain however, because as soon as he felt the mattress dip under my weight, he was quick to close the book and turn to me.

“Feel better?” He asks quietly, staring at me with a sleepy smile.

I nod and give him a kiss on the cheek before laying down completely. He took that as a sign to say no more and turn off the lamp light, effectively shrouding the room in darkness. You felt his arm wrap around your waist and pull you closer to him so you were cuddling.

He looked at your face for a second and brushed a piece of your hair back gently. “Your new haircut looks amazing…” he complimented, messing with the now short strands and smiling. When you didn’t say anything back his gaze seemed a little worried.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” His voice was soft and his hand was placed gently on your cheek, his thumb rubbing across the apple of it.

“I’m fine sweetheart, really.” You tell him, although it was a lie. Your thoughts still ate at your mind as you lay there in his embrace. Usually they would’ve gone away by now but it seemed as though they were here to stay this time.

His slight frown indicated that he knew you were lying but he didn’t push you any further on the subject. If you wanted to tell him, you would.

Soon enough, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, his steady breathing signifying his slumber.

After watching him for a bit, you turned over so your back was facing him, his arm still wrapped around you. You try to close your eyes and let sleep pull you under but instead you were stuck staring at the wall, unable to quiet your mind.

As time ticked on and your eyes stayed open, you fell deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole of self-consciousness and dysphoria. You found yourself hearing those same words, over and over and over again, repeated like a mantra in your head.

Girl, her, (dead name), woman, ma’am

This time, you could feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes but you made an effort to keep them at bay so you didn’t wake Spencer. You didn’t want him to see you crying over something so stupid. But it wasn’t until you looked down that you couldn’t help but let out a small sob.

Spencer’s arm had tightened around you in his sleep, effectively pulling the baggy shirt you wore tighter around your body. It now showed the swell of your chest and the curve of your waist as you laid on your side.

The tears started rolling down your face, then. You clamped a hand over your mouth to muffle the sobs but you couldn’t stop the way your body was shaking. You felt Spencer move a little behind you, stirring from his sleep due to the sobs wracking your body.

“Y/n?” He mumbles groggily from behind. You quickly wipe your eyes in a poor attempt to hide your little breakdown and turn over to face him.

You sniff and attempt a small smile “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” You say, your voice cracking slightly and more tears escaping from your eyes.

Spencer quickly but gently pulls you closer to him and wipes your tears with his free hand. His expression is one of concern and softness.

“What happened?” He asks quietly, looking into your eyes with nothing but love.

“Nothing, nothing, I’m fine really…” more tears streak down your face as you continue to lie.

“No, it’s not,” he says as he moves your hair out of your face again “please talk to me, love. I want to help you.”

You finally let the useless facade fall as you bury your head in his shoulder and let it all out.

He strokes your hair softly as you cry on him, wetting his sleep shirt with your tears and shaking in his arms.

After a short while your tears begin to dry a little and you pull back to look at him. He doesn’t say anything but he keeps you close and waits for you to speak.

“I-…” I take in a shaky breath “Why don’t I fit, Spencer?” You ask quietly, your voice wavering.

“Why can’t I look in the mirror and not hate the way my chest isn’t flat or the way my face is too round?” You ask again. You can feel your eyes getting wet again when you speak. “Why couldn’t I have been a boy?”

He strokes your hair lightly and his eyes widen in understanding.

He pulls you to his chest and kisses your head.

“Sweetheart, listen to me,” he looks down at you with a gentle expression “You are a boy, no matter what body you’re in.” He smiles softly.

“It doesn’t matter if your chest isn’t flat or your face is too round, you’ll always be my handsome, dashing, loving boyfriend,” he kisses your forehead “and I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

You sniffle a little bit “It would be nice if I could at least pass though, I just hate it so much…” a few more tears escape your eyes

“I know, but you know what?” He lifts your chin up gently so you can look in his eyes “I’ll be here to help you through your transition, every step of the way.” He smiles and wipes your tears away once more.

“But I want you to know that you already pass perfectly fine in my eyes.” He chuckles and kisses your lips softly, stroking your cheek.

You feel a little better when he says those words, and you nuzzle your head into his neck, mumbling a small “thank you”

He kisses the top of your head again and you both stay there for a moment, soaking up the warmth and love that was filling your small bedroom as he peppers kisses all over you and plays with your hair.

Spencer is the one to break the silence with a small yawn and a whisper.

“You know, I really meant what I said about your hair,” he mumbles as he twirls a strand around his finger “it makes you look even more handsome than usual….” He smiles and you feel a grin coming to your face too.

“There it is…” he chuckles warmly as he pulls back to look at your face with soft eyes.

“I love you so much, you know that?” He whispers, snuggling to you close once again. You smile even wider as he says that.

“I love you more…”

You end up falling asleep like that, cuddled up in Spencer’s arms as he whispers sweet compliments to you, running his slender fingers through your hair.

You knew that you would still have these days, the ones that caused you to break down with just one look in the mirror, but you felt happy regardless.

Because you knew Spencer would be there to give you those small compliments that made you feel so much better in your own skin.

Every step of the way.

[novemberthewriter]

Hi! Thanks for the reblog! 🤗 You mentioned being into writing that explores the "meta part" of fanfic - YES!! Are there other people who do this/fics you can recommend?

yes indeeeed. below are works surrounding this topic i've really enjoyed over the past decade:

-> TRAD PUB. BOOKS

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell [link to NPR review] this came out when i was finishing high school + starting to get disillusioned w HP (for story reasons & 'the author is Unforgivably Shitty' reasons lol) so i was very intrigued with how this book worked as a metacommentary abt HP (seriously, it felt like the book was deconstructing a lot of the issues fans had with the o.g. canon) while being a cute fantasy in its own right. i haven't checked out the sequels yet

New Waves by Kevin Nguyen [link to LA Times review] i read this a year or two ago and enjoyed what it had to say about online vs IRL friendships, grief, hustle culture, and creative identity.

-> FANFIC PROJECTS

running after two hares by chaparral_crown on ao3 this is probably my favorite fic of all time. no exaggeration. i have the whole thing printed out on 200+ pages of copy paper bound with comically large binder clips. and it's not even finished! there's this fanon concept called HEU (Hannibal Extended Universe) where people consider all of the different characters that the main actors played outside the show (in other shows, film, etc) to be connected to the showverse. for some reason i've never been able to suspend my disbelief enough to get into a lot of HEU content. i'm picky about fic just as i am with any other creative writing i engage with -- i have been for most of my life. THEN. i come across this author's insanely popular HEU fic, and i've read non-HEU stuff from them before that i adored, so i figure 'why not' ... and this 'crack treated seriously' quickly became one of my fav things ever. the prose alone is so masterful. and it's such a DENSE read, like, you really gotta slow down to appreciate all the introspective asides and jokes and commentary about the text (show) and metacommentary about how unusual pairings thrive, inside and outside of fiction.

Starsky & Hutch Virtual Season [link to Fanlore wiki] i got into S&H fandom in 2012. i remember how intrigued i was at the concept of the Virtual Season, which had its heyday a decade before i got into the online fandom. this kind of fan activity is the precursor, imo, to stuff like people calling installments of their webnovels 'episodes', the concept of a 'dream season' (ex: how hannibal ppl talk about how season 4 would play out if the show hadn't been cancelled), etc. people weren't just writing serialized fic, they were cultivating a really unique Experience

-> COMMENTATORS / ESSAYISTS

Shipper's Guide to the Galaxy (has not updated their channel in years but has such a huge backlog of thoughtful content about the relationship between media and its fans, including entire segments dedicated to fic recs)

Fionapollo (discovered them recently! i used to watch a lot of art commentary channels that preceded this one, and i'm obsessed w this channel because they focus more on the philosophy of creative practice & cultivating community between fans and media, rather than feeding into toxicity for views. they cover negative topics sometimes, yeah, but not in a sensationalist way at all. super refreshing)

[anglophiletraveler]

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Don’t Let Me Down

Written by John Lennon

*****

This is a shorter chapter written to be a transition chapter to keep the story of our favourite couple going.  Thanks once again to my wonderful friend and beta, Karen Bockius.  And thank you to the readers for all of your support.  It is much appreciated.  

*****

Demelza heard a knock on the door and answered it to find Caroline with a big smile on her face, and a large tote bag carrying goodness knows what!!

“Caroline!  Come on in, I’m so excited to see you!”  The two friends gave each other a big hug.  

“Hello darling, how are you?  I hope that you’re as excited about this wedding as I am!”  Caroline set down her heavy bag.

Demelza was staring at the bag, “What on earth did you bring?  It looks like you’ve shoplifted the magazine section of the grocery store!”

“Well, we do have a lot of work to do, don't we?  What kind of a maid of honour would I be if I didn’t help you get started looking at bridal magazines?  We must take notes, and possibly cut out articles and pictures that we want to keep.”

Demelza was a little confused, “Then what do we do with the articles and pictures?”  

Caroline shook her head and rolled her eyes, “What on earth am I going to do with you?  To make a scrapbook of course!  Of anything that catches your eye.  That way we or rather you, can get an idea of what type of wedding you’d like to have.”

“You make it sound simple,” Demelza replied.

“This is the fun part!  Before all of the stress takes over,” Caroline said.

Demelza furrowed her brows, “Have you ever planned a wedding before?”

“Well of course, I haven’t planned my wedding, but I’ve helped a few friends and some cousins plan their weddings.”  Caroline pulled out a giant three-ring binder with blank pages in it. Demelza thought for sure there was a spotlight on the binder and music playing when Caroline pulled it from the bag!   The front of the binder in pretty lettering spelled out ‘Demelza and Ross’s Wedding’.  “And look what I brought!  I didn’t decorate the cover because I thought you might want to do that, and of course, we don’t know a date yet.  So this will help you gather your thoughts.  You can write in it, make notes, scrapbook in it with pictures, and keep memories as you go along in your wedding planning journey.”

Caroline handed the binder carefully to Demelza like it was the original Bible!  Demelza took it gently from her with big eyes.  The empty pages felt intimidating.  Demelza had no clue what to do with it.  She’s never been part of a wedding before, she’s attended a few and had actually played at quite a few, but really had no clue what to do with this giant binder or what to do first.  

The girlfriends made themselves comfortable on the couch with tea and biscuits close at hand.  Caroline pulled out a couple more magazines, “Now I know that you really have no idea what to do first, and I can help you with that, or you can do it on your own.  That’s fine if you do.  I brought a few of the magazines that seem to be pretty helpful in guiding brides what to do and when.  They’re called The Knot.”

Demelza chuckled, “Seriously?  ‘The Knot’?”

“I know right?  Catchy.  But they really do seem to be full of good ideas.  And of course, they have a website.  Have you and Ross talked about any wedding plans at all, or maybe a date?”

“No, not really.  I reckon we should start doing something?  We’re just so busy right now.  He’s been working a lot of hours transitioning over to his new division, and I’ve been either in my private lessons or at the music hall.  I don’t know what I’m going to do if we decide to have the wedding before his mother’s surgery.”  Demelza was getting anxious by the second.  

Caroline could tell Demelza was getting worried.  “Well don’t let it worry you too much.  Something that I did think of, is what venue you could use.  I checked with my uncle and he said that he would be delighted if you’d like to have the wedding and reception at his home.  That way it could all be held in one place and you wouldn’t have to worry about a thing!  And it could be as simple or as grand as you’d want!”

“Oh Caroline!  That would be wonderful! I’ve always loved your uncle’s home and it’s a place that I’m comfortable with!  But I’ll need to talk it over with Ross.”

“Of course.  In the meantime, let’s look at these dresses before I drop you off at the music hall,” Caroline smiled.

*******************************

Jenny was about ready to go home for the night and walked in to see if Ross was ready to go home as well.  But by the look of things, Ross was knee deep in boxes.  “Ross, it’s time to go home.”

Ross turned around and gave Jenny a weak smile, “Oh I don’t know Jenny.  Maybe I’ll just stay until it’s time to pick up Demelza.”

“Ross, that's two and a half hours yet!  Why don’t you go home and rest before you pick her up?” Jenny said.

Ross moved some files so that he could sit down, “I can’t believe there’s so much stuff here leftover from the last bunch of blokes.  Oh hell Jenny I don’t know.  I’m so tired of boxes and files, but I’m afraid that if I go home I’ll fall asleep and be late picking Demelza up.”

“You need to start letting her take the tube home, or better yet teach that woman how to drive!” Jenny felt bad for her boss doing all of this running around for Demelza.  

“No, I don't like her riding the tube that late at night.  And actually she does want to learn to drive when the good weather is here to stay.  Oh, I think I’m just going to stay here for a while longer, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Sure Ross.  See you tomorrow,” Jenny walked out of the office.  Jenny was starting to feel frustrated with Ross driving Demelza all over London.  It’s not fair.  He does so much for her, and she doesn’t do a damn thing for Ross!  If he were my boyfriend I’d … stop it Jenny.  He’s not your boyfriend.  Get over it.  At least she’s not Elizabeth!  Jenny stepped onto the elevator and headed home.   

**************************

Ross had worked until it was time to pick up Demelza.  He was on a roll of getting things done and just stuck with it.  To his delight he was able to get most of the files put away, making less work for them in the morning.  He was now sitting in his car in the parking lot at the music hall, waiting for Demelza, with his head leaning against the window, his eyes closed.   Demelza saw through the window that Ross was probably asleep, his mouth hanging open.  She quietly opened the door and got into the car.  She nudged Ross a little bit to wake him, he startled awake and saw Demelza, “Oh shit.  Demelza, are you done?”

Demelza gave him an understanding smile, “Time to go home Ross.  Have you been at the office all this time?”

Ross cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah.  But I finally got almost all of the move done, so it was worth it,” Ross’s eyes were droopy and his voice sounded tired, “Are you hungry? We could pick something up on the way home.”

“Well, I am hungry, but I could always find something at home if you just want to go home,” Demelza said.

Ross placed his hand on Demelza’s “I don't mind stopping.  I know your appetite.  Chinese?”

“Yes Ross.”

********************************

A tired Ross and Demelza were getting out of the car when Ross stopped dead in his tracks, “fuck!”

Demelza stopped beside him, “Ross, what’s wrong?”

“Oh shit, I wasn’t thinking while working so late at the office that Seamus probably needs to get outside!  I hope he didn’t make a mess in the house.  Damnit!” Ross said as he started to head into the house ahead of Demelza.  He didn’t want her walking into a mess.

“Well, if he did, don’t yell at him, it’s not his fault,” Demelza said.

“I didn’t say it was Demelza!  For Christ’s sake I’m not going to yell at him, it’s my fault,” Ross’s voice had an unusual terseness to it that caught Demelza by surprise.  He opened the door and turned on the light.  Seamus was sitting in the kitchen waiting for his master to come home.  As soon as Demelza and Ross stood out of his way, Seamus raced outside.  The couple was looking around for any signs that Seamus might have left them something but thankfully they didn’t see anything.  Demelza put the Chinese on the table and started pulling the boxes of food out.  Ross went back outside and closed the door behind him.  It was chilly out in the dark night.  The stars were hidden by cloud cover which made it seem colder.  He plopped down in one of the lawn chairs and watched Seamus run around and stretch his legs.  He finally came over to Ross for some attention, “I’m sorry buddy, I wasn’t thinking.  I should’ve come home earlier and let you out.  I got distracted.”  Seamus licked Ross’s face in forgiveness.  Ross was laughing at the kisses.  Eventually Ross sighed, and got up and walked back inside.  

Demelza wasn’t around  when Ross came back inside, so he assumed she had already headed upstairs for the evening.  He looked at his boxes of Chinese and decided his stomach wasn’t up for it and put it in the fridge.  He grabbed a bottle of water, and also poured himself a bit of whiskey and drank it down and headed upstairs.

Demelza was sitting up in bed looking at a bridal magazine when Ross walked in, sat down and started taking off his clothes.  Demelza couldn’t help but notice the grunting that Ross was making as he undressed.  “You sound like an old man grunting over there.”

“Hmmm?” Ross climbed into bed.

“Did Seamus get all fed and watered and tucked in?” Demelza’s voice was now the one that was terse.  She was flipping the pages of her magazine quickly enough that she couldn’t possibly be reading them.

Ross yawned and stretched his arm out, and mumbled something that she didn’t understand.  “What ya readin?” Ross looked over Demelza’s shoulder and smiled, “Aww a bridal magazine, that’s nice love.  Find anything interesting?”  Ross was trying to peek at the magazine.

Demelza closed the magazine abruptly and slammed it down on her lap.

Ross’s eyes went wide and his mouth dropped in shock, “I’m sorry, I was just trying to take a look.”  Ross went to put his hand on Demelza’s hand but she pulled it away.  “Demelza, what’s wrong?  Was it a bad night at rehearsal?”

Demelza let out a loud sigh, “You yelled at me Ross,” she sniffed but was fighting hard not to cry, “and I didn’t like it at all.”

Ross’s eyebrows came together, “When did I yell at you?”

“Just a little bit ago when we were coming into the house.  You yelled at me about Seamus,” Demelza said.

Now Ross remembered what she was talking about.  He pulled her into his arms, “Oh honey, I’m so sorry.   I guess I didn’t even realise it.  It’s been such a long day, and I was mad at myself for forgetting about Seamus and didn’t come home to let him out before picking you up.  I’m sorry Demelza, I wasn’t mad at you.”  Ross made another attempt to hold her hand again, giving her puppy dog eyes.

Demelza rolled her eyes, “Oh alright, how am I supposed to say no to that face.”  She leaned in to kiss Ross and took his hand, which brought the sunshine back to Ross’s face.

“Sooo have you found anything interesting in your magazines?” Ross asked.  

Demelza sighed, “No, not yet.  I haven’t really given them my full attention since Caroline dropped them off earlier.”

Ross’s eyes widened again, “Caroline brought them over?  That was nice of her.”

Demelza got her smile back, “Yes! She brought over quite a few magazines, and she actually made me this three ring binder with blank pages in it, where I can cut pictures out or write down thoughts …”

Ross interrupted, “What?  A binder? I don’t understand.  What are you supposed to write down in it?”

“Wellll, thoughts about the wedding of course!  Silly!  You know, what things we want to include in the wedding, how we want it to look like, themes, wedding dresses that I like, decorations.”

“Really?  I’ve never heard of such a thing.  Sounds kind of complicated.  Do you have an…idea of a wedding dress?” Ross replied.

Demelza started flipping through the pages again, “No, not yet.  I don’t know if we need to figure out where we’re going to have the wedding before I choose my dress.  Oh Ross!  I forgot to mention!  Caroline has offered her uncle’s house to have our wedding and reception in!  Isn’t that wonderful!”

Ross’s eyebrows grew together again, “Oh.”

“What?  What’s wrong Ross?”  

Ross was looking down at his hands, “I guess I just assumed we…would get married at Nampara.”

“Oh.  I hadn’t thought about Nampara.  Well, we don’t even know about a date yet, and when your mother’s surgery is…”

“Well, I have spoken with my father about that.  Mama has a doctor appointment this Friday and he’s going to try to get a handle on that and what the doctor thinks is best,” Ross said.

Demelza was a little taken aback by this, “Oh, you didn’t tell me that you had spoken with your father.”  

“I’m sorry, I meant to tell you but I couldn’t remember whenever I saw you.  It’s hard right now.  I wish we could carve out some time for each other during the week.  By the time you get home, I’m tired, and then in the morning when I’m getting ready for work, you’re tired.”

Now Demelza’s eyebrows were knitted together, “Are you saying that you want me to quit the orchestra and my lessons?” Her voice raised.

“No Demelza!  I’m not saying that at all!  I’ve told you before that I don’t want you to quit your career, and I meant that!  It’s just hard right now with all of the rehearsing that the orchestra is doing to get ready for the album, and with the audition of the next chair of the cello coming up, it’s all just a lot.  I’m getting prepared to take over this new division  so that’s a lot as well.”  Ross let out a heavy sigh, “I’m sorry, love.  I’m kind of new to living with someone and dealing with issues like this.  And now we will soon start planning a wedding, something which I know absolutely nothing about.”

“Well, that makes two of us!  I was never the girl who thought about weddings and wedding dresses while growing up.  I was just trying to survive and get the hell out of the house.  Today is the first time that I’ve ever looked at a bridal magazine.  What about you?”

“I’ve never thought about wedding dresses either,” Ross cocked an eyebrow for a mischievous look.  

Demelza pushed him, “You twat!  I meant have you ever thought about what your wedding might be like?  You were engaged to Elizabeth after all, so you must have thought about it.”

“Well, to be honest we didn’t get very far into the wedding planning when I found her in bed with my charming cousin.  As far as thinking of what my wedding would look like?  It’s not really a guy thing.  Although, whenever I mentioned to Elizabeth about getting married at Nampara she would make a face at me.”  Ross yawned again.  “Not to be rude, but would you mind if I went to sleep, love?”

“No, I’m tired too.”  A very loving good night kiss was exchanged and they both settled down under the covers after turning out the bedside lamps.  They snuggled into their usual position of Ross wrapping his arms around Demelza with her back side pressed up against Ross’s chest.  Ross had drifted off to sleep, and Demelza was almost there when she sat up all of a sudden and screamed, “LUNCH!”

Ross sat up dazed and confused from his sleep, “What’s wrong?  What happened?  Are you alright Demelza?”

“Lunch!  That’s the solution Ross.”

“The solution to what?  What are you talking about?”

“The solution to us never seeing each other!  I could come over to your office and have lunch with you a couple of times during the week before my lessons,” Demelza was excited that she found an answer to their current problem.  

Ross’s relieved shoulders sank back down, “Yes, Demelza, that is a very good idea.  We’ll plan on it.  Can we just go back to sleep, please?”

Demelza had a slight smile on her face, “Yes Ross.”

******************************

Demelza stood at the door to Ross’s new office, and in her sexiest voice said, “Well hey sexy fancy meetin you here!”

Ross turned around and got a big smile on his face, “Well, hello there!  Come here often?”

Demlza laughed, “Not often enough.  I’ve heard that there’s a very sexy banker that works here.  Have you seen him?”

Ross got up and slinked over to Demelza, “Well, it just so happens, that I’ve thrown him out a window so that I can have you all to myself!  So, why don’t you step into my office and I’ll take you for a spin on my new office chair!”  Ross moved his eyebrows up and down trying to be all sexy.

Demelza burst out laughing at Ross and walked into his office so he could shut the door behind her.  He grabbed her arm before she could escape from him and pulled her into a very deep, forceful kiss.  Ross whispered into Demelza’s ear, “I’ve been looking forward to lunch all morning.”

Demelza giggled, “My, my aren’t you the frisky one.  Better be careful that Mr. Tonkin doesn’t walk in on us,” She wrapped her arms around Ross’s neck to pull him down for another kiss.  She felt Ross’s hands on her back side bringing a moan from Demelza, then she realised where they were and she pulled away, “Ross, darling we can’t!”

Ross let out a big sigh, “Oh, I know, I know.  Sorry.  I’m just feeling a little bit…”  Ross’s mobile phone rang, “saved by the bell,” Ross smiled.  He looked at the screen, “Hello da, how are you?”

“Hello Ross, did I catch you at a bad time?”

“No, not at all.  In fact Demelza is here with me for lunch,” Ross said.  Joshua chuckled.  Ross raised an eyebrow, “What’s so funny?”

“You, calling it lunch.  That’s what your mother and I used to call it back in the day.”

“Ewwww da, I do not want to hear about yours and mother’s sexual escapades!” Ross replied.

Demelza got a scandalous look on her face.

Ross smiled at  his fiance’, “well now that you’ve completely freaked out Demelza, is there a point to this call?  And I’ve got you on speaker.”

Joshua chuckled again, “Oh I’m sorry Demelza, I didn’t mean to shock you.  Anyway, we went to your mother’s oncologist appointment today…”

“And?”

“And, the doctor suggested that you have the wedding before the surgery, but of course it’s up to the two of you if you want to hurry up and plan a wedding, or take your time and have it later after the surgery.  The doctor is planning on the surgery for two months from now.  Your mother is upset about all of it.  She wants to be a part of the planning, but of course that’s all up to the two of you and where you want to have the wedding.”

Ross looked at Demelza to see if he could tell what her feelings were, but she wasn’t showing her hand right now.

“Ross? Are you there?” Joshua asked.

“Yes dad we’re here.  Is mum hoping that the ceremony is at Nampara?” Ross asked.

Demelza rolled her lips to bite on them in anticipation of Joshua’s answer.

“She did mention that, Ross, but this is your wedding.  You two decide on where you want to have it.  It would be nice to at least have it down here in Cornwall so that your mother does tire out too much.  But like I said, it’s your wedding,” it was obvious that Joshua was stuck in the middle.  He knew how much it would mean to Grace to have the wedding of their surviving son at their home.

Demelza cleared her throat, “Caroline’s uncle has also offered us to have the wedding and reception at his home.  That way everything could be in one place, and there wouldn’t be much planning to do.”

“Well that’s very generous of him, and it would certainly be a lovely venue for your wedding.  Well, I’m going to get going here.  I need to go pick up a prescription for your mother.  We’ll talk soon,” Joshua said.

“Alright dad, we’ll talk later,” Ross replied.  He looked up at Demelza.  “So what do you want to do?  I guess the first thing to decide on is if we want to have the wedding before the surgery, or wait?”

Demelza was biting her thumb nail, something she rarely did.  “I think we should have the wedding before the surgery.  But I also think we should have it at Killewarren.”

Ross blew a big sigh and ran his hands over his face.  “I was afraid you were going to say that about Killewarren.”

“Ross it will be so much easier on Grace and on us if we have it there, plus we can have more guests if we have it at Killewarren.  I don’t have much family, but I do have friends that I want to invite, and you do too.  Not to mention business associates.  If we have it at Nampara, we would have to use a tent for everything, and that’s something I really don’t want to do,” Demelza explained her side of things.

“Is that you talking or is that Caroline talking?”

“Ross!!  I can’t believe you just said that to me!  I haven’t even talked with Caroline since the other day.  Don’t you think I can make a decision on my own without Caroline? I…”

There was a knock on the door.  Jenny interrupted, “Ross your lunch is here.  Do you want me to bring it in here?”

“Uh yeah Jenny, thanks.  Why don’t you go on to lunch as well, yeah?” Ross told Jenny.

“Sure, sounds good.  Congratulations on your engagement Demelza.  You must be very excited. I know I would be.” Jenny said.

Demelza gave Jenny a smile, “Thank you Jenny.  Yes we’re very excited.  Have a good lunch.”

“Aye.  Ross, call me if you need me to come back sooner.  Ta.”  Jenny turned around and left the couple with their lunch.  She had heard their voices raise just before she knocked on the door which made her wonder if there was trouble in paradise.

Ross let out a big sigh and sat down at his desk, “Look Demelza, I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have said that earlier about Caroline.  Of course you can make a decision without Caroline.  I don’t want things to be tense between us.  Can we agree to just try to keep things simple since we don’t have time to plan a royal wedding?”

Demelza sat on the couch and started pulling their lunch out of bags, “Yes, I think we can definitely agree on that.  It sounds like the album recording is going to be after your mother’s surgery, so at least we don’t have to worry about the actual recording itself.”

“Well, that’s one good thing.  I imagine that you’d like to hire some of your friends from the orchestra to play at the ceremony?” Ross asked.

Demelza started eating her sandwich, “Well, there’s a line there.  Is it tacky to ask my friends to play?  I’ll have to ask around and see how people would feel about it.  I mean we would pay them to play, naturally.  Do you think we should hire a wedding planner?”

Ross tucked into his lunch and was thinking about the question.  “Well, would that insult Caroline?  You don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

“Well, I guess I’ll have to ask her point blank on that one.  I don’t want her overwhelmed either.” Demelza’s phone buzzed with a text.  She took a moment to look at it.  “Well, here we go.”

“Who is it?”

“Frank.  He said the maestro just announced the cellist audition for next Wednesday.”  Demelza’s face turned white as she put her hand over her heart.  “Fuck. It’s all too much!”  

Ross could see she was about to lose it.  Her breathing was getting faster, he joined her on the couch quickly, and placed her hand into his, “Demelza look at me.  Breathe in, breathe out.  Come on, do it with me.  We’ve done this before.  It’s okay, my love, you’re alright.”  Demelza was breathing along with Ross.  “Demelza, look at me.  Forget about anything to do with the wedding until after the audition next week, alright?  Do what you need to do to get yourself ready for the audition.  If there’s a practise room somewhere that I need to hire for you just let me know.  And I can hire a driver to take you wherever you want to go until after the audition.”

Demelza looked at Ross like a dewy eyed doe, “Oh Ross I can’t let you do all of that.”

“I insist Demelza.  This audition is very important.  I can’t help you play, but I can make arrangements to help make life easier for you while you prepare.  I’ll do the shopping this weekend and the cooking, and make sure Seamus and I stay out of your way.  Whatever you need, please just let me know, alright?  And no talk of wedding plans,” Ross raised his hand to brush a loose curl from her eyes.  

Demelza grabbed him for a hug, “Oh Ross, I’m so sorry for being so cross with you lately.  I don’t deserve you.”

Ross softly chuckled in Demelza’s ear, “Hey now, no apologies necessary.  I think we’ve both been a little on edge lately.  You just worry about kicking ass at that audition, and being the best cellist that you can be, alright?”  Ross leaned back to look at Demelza, “I love you, and I believe in you and your ability.  And I’m going to be right there by your side, every step of the way.”  Ross took Demelza’s face in both of his hands to gently kiss her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, her nose, and finally her lips.  The two separated and rested their foreheads against each other.  Ross sighed and smiled as Demelza’s phone started to blow up.  “I believe you know what all of that is about?”

Demelza looked at the phone, “Yep.  That would be James.  I suppose that I better get home and get ready for rehearsal.  Sorry that our lunch date was cut short.”

Ross smiled and shook his head, “It’s quite alright.  It was for a good reason.  C’mon, let’s go get you a cab home.  Why don’t you take the rest of your sandwich with you, maybe you can eat it later.”

“Good idea.  You could finish yours as well,” Demelza stood up to get her things together.  

Ross straightened his tie and ran his hand through his hair, “You ready to go, love?”

Demelza smiled at him, straightening his tie, “Yes, I guess so.”  She placed her hand on his chest and leaned up for another kiss.  

“Okay, I’ll walk you downstairs to get a cab,” Ross opened the door for her.  Jenny was standing outside of Ross’s office door when he opened it.   “Oh hi Jenny, I wasn’t expecting you back so soon.  I’m going to walk Demelza downstairs to get a cab and then I’ll be back.”

“Oh the tube station is just half a block away, that would be cheaper,” Jenny piped in.

“Oh I could just do that Ross…” Demelza said.

Ross’s eyes widened at Jenny, “No Jenny, please!  Demelza, I want you to take a cab. It will be quicker and you’ll be able to get home and do what you need to do for rehearsal and find out more about the audition,” Ross said emphatically.  Demelza saw the look on Ross’s face and then looked at Jenny whose face was flushed from Ross’s words.  Ross took a breath.  “So Demelza, do you have everything together?

Demelza’s eyes were wide, and she answered him in a soft voice, “Yes, love, I’m ready to go whenever you are.”

“Right.  Jenny, I’ll be back in a moment,” Ross grabbed Demelza’s hand and led her to the elevator.  

Ross and Demelza stepped into the elevator, the doors closing behind them.  Ross noticed Demelza was looking at him, “What?”

“Um, well, maybe it’s just me, but I think Jenny has a thing for you.  I’ve suspected before but the way she looked at me today, I’m pretty sure.  Has she said anything to you?”

Ross sighed, and ran his hand across his face, “I had an inkling.  I was hoping I was just imagining things.  What should I do?”

The elevator door opened and they stepped out.  “I don’t know Ross.  I guess just make sure you don’t encourage her feelings.  I’ll think about it and we can talk about it over the weekend, but right now I need to get a cab.”

“Yeah, you’re right.  I see one over there, let’s go grab it.”  Ross waved at the cab to make sure it didn’t drive off.

Ross opened the car door for Demelza, “Look, I’ll pick you up later tonight, and then maybe we can go have a drink or something.  Unwind a bit,” Ross reached in the window to give the driver instructions on where to go and paid him.

“That sounds wonderful!” Demelza gave Ross a kiss and got in the cab.

Ross waved them off and then turned around and looked at his building.  He couldn’t help but think about Jenny and what he should do, or if he should do anything.  He’s never been in this kind of situation before and he didn’t want to mess it up.  He let out a big sigh and headed back into the building.

*******************************

I have to admit, finding titles for the chapters has forced me to remember Beatles songs that I’ve forgotten about and it’s also been fun learning about how they were written and the story behind the song.  I chose this song for this chapter because as Ross and Demelza go forward in their relationship, and now planning a wedding, things or people will no doubt get in their way just like any other couple.  Demelza has worked hard for her career and Ross plans on supporting her in it, but what about children?  To have children or not to have children?  Where is the wedding going to take place?  Is there going to be a woman from Ross’s past to throw a monkey wrench into the couple? 

[palfriendpatine66]

#20 for Coruscant 212 please! (I'm sorry I feel like I gave you a really hard one?)

From this ask game - find ALL my wips here

20) Put on a timer for five minutes and write as many words as you can in your WIP

YES you're the best for making me work on this! I don't want to abandon it. I got carried away and this is more like 10 min but ummm I think I'm writing a holiday party chapter now so THANK YOU

Anakin strode into roll call to find most of the department already gathered at the tables - which wasn’t new. What was new was that nearly everyone in the room, including his picture perfect partner, appeared to be nursing hangovers. Detective Kenobi was slouched in his chair, his cheek pressed against the surface, a death grip on his large coffee. “What got into all of you?” Anakin teased as he took his seat, elbowing his partner in the side good naturedly and earning a glower that put new meaning to the phrase “if looks could kill”. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Kenobi muttered. “Is that for me?” He eyed the coffee in Anakin’s hands, reaching for it before he had even answered. 

“Sure. Looks like you’re going to need it,” Anakin relented. 

That moment the door to the room opened with a bang and Sgt Windu came sweeping through, throwing a binder down on the podium with far more force than necessary. He was perfectly in control, not angered in the slightest, the display was strictly intended to make a point. The point, apparently, being misery, as almost all in attendance groaned and rubbed at their temples. 

“Coruscant’s finest,” the sgt bit out in disgust. “You all have a mystery to solve before anyone is approved for their holiday leave.” A general rumble of discontent broke out around the room. “Apparently last night after the annual holiday party, someone - or multiple someones - decided they were going to redecorate the captain’s office. I will be waiting in my office in case anyone is moved to make a confession,” his gaze snapped up to glare at Anakin as he laughed, his partner not so subtly covering his ears at the outburst. “Something funny, Skywalker.” 

“Um,” he backtracked quickly. “You’re joking, right.”

“Oh, how I wish I was. Since you weren’t in attendance at last night’s festivities, Skywalker, I’m charging you with leading this investigation.” 

“What?” Anakin looked around, bewildered, to see if anyone else was in on the joke. “You can’t be serious.” 

“I want names, Skywalker,” the sgt leaned forward, a serious as ever. “Names. Or you can answer to the captain, instead of the culprits responsible.” They stared each other down for a long moment, Anakin with a thousand questions in his eyes and Windu with a manic gleam, before the Sgt slammed the binder open to hand out the regular assignments for the shift, causing a ripple of winces and grimaces to travel around the room. 

“What the hell did I miss,” Anakin prodded his partner, muttering into his ear.

“One hell of a party,” Kenobi replied before drawing himself in his coffee. 

[arcplaysgames]

I gave Margaret the fiery cat mount of a Hindu goddess and she immediately wanted to ride it. Margaret is great.

Also, randomly, look at Kanji's fucking Strength stat. Jesus fuck. If you put him in a fight with Akihiko, I don't know what would happen. Like, Aki's hot mad-on luck and crits but Kanji has almost 600 HP. It's fucking wild. /smooches my lightning bruisers

After Naoto's rescue, SOMEONE in town was upset again. Who the fuck is that! I don't know! IS THAT YOU ADACHI? It's probably not Adachi.

Naoto, if you want to make those folks shut the fuck up, Kanji and I are ready and raring to go, just say the word homeboy.

wow finally someone remembers some actual details. Naoto was

Wait sorry I'm having a brainwave. Yukiko also mentioned the doorbell ringing, and she was grabbed when she went to answer it. I could've sworn Rise said the same thing. It's always someone coming right up to the door and ringing it in broad daylight, and managing to carry the person off without being noticed.

Does this town got any disgruntled taxi guys, UPS drivers, or pizza deliveryfolk? But really, this is always happening at a doorbell, so its someone who is super innocuous. But not Adachi bc he was busy when Rise got grabbed. And Naoto says besides Mitsuo killing Morooka, it's all the same dude.

Access to chloroform is weird. Who would have that. I would google "can you make chloroform at home" but I don't wanna be on a watch list.

stares at wall

that's super weird. Like, big screen TVs are not common in Inaba. There's a reason the party has to go to Junes to get inside, it's one of the only options large enough.

But also, idk if its a red herring or not but there was a big deal made in the beginning by Teddie, telling Reverie and Yosuke "make sure you come in here or I might not find you." So I would assume each victim was thrown into the TV at a different location? But.... maybe not? We've literally never entered the TV through another path.

Okay, Yukiko? The "and she's a girl" like oh man a GIRL? Fuck, then OBVIOUSLY there was nothing to be done but get kidnapped. Yukiko, fucking KANJI GOT KIDNAPPED. Kanji, who definitely weighs more than anyone else on the team and 25 lbs of it is metal chains and studs. Come on.

But also, I never would have called fucking Yosuke to just be rolling with Naoto not being Girl and being surprised to be reminded. And Naoto sounds pleased to get the admittedly juvenile boyish compliment.

Anyway.

One, Naoto is the smartest motherfucker here. Two, Yukiko, you're HILARIOUS.

Kanji, you are fist-fighting Junpei for Best Character in Persona right now.

I continue to be denied "what the fuck is teddie" answers. Tho everyone discusses Personae and Shadows, and Naoto mentioned an unofficial secret report they got their hands on that mentioned Persona as shadows-plus-ego and shadows as suppressed power of humans. Which I don't know if we've been told that explicitly yet, that persona are the same as shadows, but it feels like I knew that.

YOSUKE HANAMURA YOU HAVE BEEN DOING SO WELL AND NOT BEING AN AGGRAVATING LITTLE SHIT, COME ON BRO.

Okay, Rise, I'm so sorry about the idol industry. Like, I am so sorry. I'm so sorry. Jesus fuck, you are 15, and the info has been public for "ages." I'm sorry.

ALSO NAOTO USES A BINDER: CONFIRMED. /high fives self

[gayhotpriests]

hello hi bursting into your office (ask box) with comically large binders that have papers falling out (so many questions about spanish)

first off, thank you for the post, and the collection of people in the post willing to help out! super duper appreciate it. I can tell when Spanish sounds odd or forced in a fic, but I don't know enough to fix it so- midnightsbuck, you're my only hope.

So, first, could Eddie call Tia Pepa, just Tia? It's a thing in my language to have custom labels for each family member, that are meant to be more affectionate than just, like, Aunt Cassie, so I was wondering if it would carry over okay into just Tia.

Also, I have her calling Eddie, "Editto" and "Mijo", which, I know the second one is technically, my son, but it feels more, like, my kid or kiddo, vibes? idk you tell me if im off here.

3. “You said we were going to the nursery! I came in work clothes!” Eddie protested, but Tia was having none of it. “Sí, yo dije, pero first, brunch! Look how nice Buck is dressed up, que linda!” - This section, I tried blending a bit more Spanish into English, which is something my mom does often with Urdu, so the speech patterns felt right for the language blend.

4. Would Tia Pepa call Buck "Evanito"? I've seen a lot of that, and I can't think of a way to turn 'Buck' into a nickname. Conversely, would it be approriate for Buck to call her Tia Pepa, or is there a more respectful alternative?

5. “Aw, no, mirame, Tia, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.” - Does this work for "look at me" from Eddie?

okay that was so much many apologies - thank you for offering your knowledge!

Hi!!! thank you for coming in, have a seat! it's my pleasure actually, so lets see what we got here💓

1. yes, it is fine for him to just call her tía instead of just saying tía pepa all the time. i personally feel like he wouldn't just call her "pepa" because it's not common to call your older relatives by their first names, you say their "title" first, idk if im making sense. i have met people who do that, but it's not common bc it's seen as disrespectful.

2. and for her to call him eddito- absolutelly. i feel weird when my aunts call my by my outside world nickname hahaha i feel like pepa might call him eddie too (or even have her own nickname for him), though abuela would stick more to eddito. you're right about mijo though, it's not exclusive to parents and their children, aunts and other relatives do also say it.

3. about this little excerpt:

“You said we were going to the nursery! I came in work clothes!” Eddie protested, but Tia was having none of it. “Sí, yo dije, pero first, brunch! Look how nice Buck is dressed up, que linda!”

there's a couple of things! don't forget the possesive, add the his before tía, because tía isn't a name but a title(?) i don't know how to explain it hahah it's like saying "but aunt was having none of it", it doesn't work in english! if you're replacing the noun you have to keep the same grammar rules. in spanish it would be the same too.

the "i said" part, i would translate as "dije eso" (i said that), in spanish we tend to erase the first person pronouns (and pronouns in general when they're kind of redundant bc the conjugation already implies first person), but to only say "dije" doesn't work. and finally, remember words in spanish are gendered, so adjectives end in A or O if you're describing a woman or a man (YES is a big problem for non binary speak). and lindo translates to pretty or cute, so if you're looking for a word that means "handsome" that's guapo. if you're angling for pretty, lindo works just fine! (pero first is a thing in spanglish as far as i know! good on that).

to sum it all up, it would read better like this:

“You said we were going to the nursery! I came in work clothes!” Eddie protested, but his Tía was having none of it. 

“Sí, dije eso, pero first, brunch! Look how nice Buck is dressed up, que lindo!”

4. i have personal beef with Evanito tbh KSDJKSLSJ i'm more of an "Evancito" myself. you add ito/ita to make the diminutive, but when a word ends in a consonant, you add cito/cita. so it makes more sense to me and feels more natural that they'd say evancito. buck is a nickname on itself so i don't think they would change it.

5. finally! on this part:

“Aw, no, mírame, Tia, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

one thing you have to know about spanish is that we have like three different ways to say you, the informal, formal and a third form used only in spain hahhaha so the informal tú is used for friends, siblings etc anyone on your same or lower levels of hierarchy(? but you would use the formal usted for people in higher hierarchies, like your boss, teacher, or older relatives. this can also change with trust levels! i say tú to my mom but usted to my aunts, although in some countries they are a lot more traditional and also use the formal version with parents (eddie would say usted to his dad, for example).

so, in this case "mírame" is "look at me" but it's informal, when speaking to his aunt in spanish he'd probably say "míreme" which is the formal conjugation. so it would look like this:

“Aw, no, míreme, Tía, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

i hope this all made sense!! i tried not to go too hard on explaining grammar rules but i tend to overexplain all the time ;-; hope this helps and thanks for coming into my office! you're welcome any time<3

[worrywrite]

I actually have an outline for a story about this.

A guy has this hobby of running a "time loop helpline." He has an extra phone and a large binder he carries with him at all times. People can find him through the phone book or his website. Every now and then he gets a phone call on that extra phone and all he ever remembers is that last phone call. Is usually goes something like "Hey, Phil, I'm on loop 4,068, we made it to part 4.c of the process. Keyword is spanakopita." And he goes to that part of the binder and reads out the next steps in the process. And Phil has never been in a time loop himself, but going by how many people have called him and somehow known what to say to get to specific instructions. But a few days after every last call he gets a gift of some kind, often money from lottery winnings. Sometimes these gifts arrive entirely randomly and Phil just sort of assumes that the last day of the loop didn't require a call but he had helped the person get there anyway. Besides, he's not doing it for the gifts.

And I'll be honest my outline kind of stops there. I do not yet know what kind of situation to put this man in... But I really do like this concept of just being the guy that helps people out of time loops because he figures if they're real the odds of there being a genuinely helpful person in the accessible radius of the time looped person is kind of low. I know having a character that is "just some guy" generally doesn't work, but I feel like it would work for this. Because time loop stories are absurd and often very painful narratives, and sometimes having there be just some guy that will listen helps.

[attempting to flirt] if i was stuck in a timeloop id desperately explain my situation to you every single reset

[pahrak-the-sinnoh-slizer]

True Connection Get

Zeke sat against the wall of the convention center, endlessly shuffling his deck and trying to take up as little space as possible.  People bustled over every inch of the floor, but he was only vaguely aware of them, eyes trained on the floor until a jingle called his attention to a large screen mounted nearby.  The updated tournament bracket he saw didn’t exactly lift his spirits.

So he won C block after all.  Guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

The feed rapidly flicked between the players who had won the tournament’s eight blocks, giving the conqueror of C just long enough to give the camera a contemptuous grin.  Zeke grumbled as he looked back down.  He drew the card on top of his deck out of muscle memory; staring back at him was a humanoid robot with a large gear visible in its chest.  “Clockwork Banneret” was printed in glossy letters at the top.  After a few seconds, Zeke averted his gaze.

The memories were fresh and easily summoned.  He had battled his way to the semi-finals of C block, prepared to give the match his all.  When he had offered a pre-match handshake, however, his opponent had scoffed and started his opening turn.  Irksome for sure, but Zeke wouldn’t let that shake his focus; after carefully watching the way his opponent played his cards, he had gone into his turn as determined as ever.  The moment Clockwork Banneret had hit the field, the opponent had laughed.

“You actually brought that to a tournament?  What a joke.  You’re just here because you grew up on the TV show, aren’t you?”

Zeke had ignored the comment and carried on.  He had been successful in staying focused, but even then, a mere three turns later he had been soundly defeated.

“Come back with real cards next time, amateur!”

Shaking his head, Zeke returned Banneret to the deck.  He had hoped to at least clear his block—the lowest placing that would give him a trophy to take back to his local card shop—and while he wanted to be a good sport about things, he just couldn’t bring himself to let it go.

What a jerk.  Are there more jerks than usual here?  Feels that way, with how many are using those new Null Reactor cards…what’s the point of playing if you nullify every single card your opponent tries to play?

He scratched his head.

…Bah, I sound like an old man.  Maybe I’ll check the artist tables, see if that helps me clear my head.

Zeke placed his deck in the plastic box attached to his belt, and then pulled himself up onto his feet, stamping his heel a few times to wake up his leg.  He was just getting proper feeling back when someone stepped out of the crowd and jogged over to him.

“Hey, hi there!” the stranger greeted, offering his hand.  “You’re Zeke Thompson, right?  From C block?”

Tentatively, Zeke shook hands.  “Uh, yeah.  Hi.”

The stranger’s eyes lit up.  “I’m so glad I found you!  Uh, my name’s Christoph—I caught your match in the block semi-finals!”

Zeke winced.  “Ah…you saw that?  Not really my best performance, hah…”

“No, you did great!  Most players get OTK’d by Null Myrmidon decks.  You showed a lot of skill holding out like that!”

“Oh?  Um, thanks.”

“Full transparency, though: I tracked you down in the hopes of talking business.”  Christoph set down his backpack with a loud thud.  “See, I’m a Clockwork Banneret fan myself, and I was blown away when you upgraded it to Alloyed Overclock mode!  I did manage to pull a copy, but I can’t actually use it without a Soul Valence card.  So…is there any possible way I could interest you in a trade?”

Zeke blinked.  Then he chuckled.  “Huh.  I can’t remember the last time I actually traded, now that I think about it.”

“It’s a dying art.”  Christoph pulled a binder from his pack and began to flip through the pages.  “I get the appeal of just buying the cards you want, but I can’t help but find it less fun that way.  The thrill of opening packs and seeing what you get is what gives each card meaning!  Comrades drawn together by fate!”

“You’re a fan of the show too, I take it?”

“That’s why I want to play Alloyed Overclock so bad!  Asimov Junction is the peak of the whole series.”

“Yes!  You are a man of culture!  Here, let me…”  Zeke quickly sifted through his deck until he found the card in question and offered it to Christoph.  “I actually have a spare, you can just take this.”

Christoph shook his head gravely.  “Oh no, sir!  I appreciate your generosity, but this is a matter of honor: I must give you something in exchange!  And I believe I have just the thing…aha!”

He slipped one card out of his binder, and Zeke’s eyes went wide.  “A Starsteel Ingot…?!  Are you really sure?”

“Absolutely!”  Christoph grinned.  “I, uh, actually have like four of them.  But I know you as a Banneret fan can appreciate its true worth!”

“Yeah, that card was essential in the Motherboard Elimination arc…alright, you’ve got yourself a deal!”

The two of them exchanged cards, and then took a moment to marvel at their respective prizes.  Christoph said, “Thanks, man: you really made my day.  I’ve got to get going, but I’ll catch up with you later—I got your socials from your tournament profile.”

“I look forward to it!  Take care!”

Christoph vanished back into the crowd.  Zeke looked down at the Starsteel Ingot card, and after a few seconds, he smiled.

Not everyone here is a jerk.

[2-fast-2-curious]

I Know You Wanna Go to Heaven But You’re Human Tonight

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Female Reader

Summary: Your husband and forever Valentine, Matt Murdock is working too much. You surprise him at the office but you’re the one who’s going to be in for a surprise.

Warnings: Office sex, Breeding kink, Matt talks a lot and it’s dirty, unprotected sex, pregnancy talk, discussion of contraceptives, discussions of fertility struggles, barely any clothes are taken off, IDK anything about Catholicism and that might show with the way they talk about the wedding and birth control. 

A/N: For all my lovely readers, you’re all my valentines today. I feel like I haven’t written something this filthy in a while but I had to try super hard since it’s for @princessphilly​ breeding kink challenge. Also usually I write a whole thing at once but I kept getting too turned on and had to take so many breaks because I was getting too worked up. I was an idiot and starting writing this without even checking if it was eligible but it is because its Marvel and that’s the ship I will be dying on. Also I doubt I’ll be able to finish the series before Netflix takes it off.

You had been running errands around town for most of the day but you really missed Matt and wanted to check in on him. You knew how sometimes he forgot to take care of himself when he got wrapped up in a case.

“Hey, babe. Just wanted to drop by and keep you company.” You leaned over the desk to give Matt a kiss and it still made your heart race every time he rested his fingers on your jaw.

You described each item as you unpacked your bag. “Here’s an order of pasta from our favourite place, tomato basil arancini, a salad with burrata, figs and prosciutto. I also got us some San Pellegrino. I would’ve gotten us wine but it’s a bit early for that.”

“How many people were you planning to feed?” Matt asked as you filled his entire desk with food.

“Okay, I admit, I originally had gone to Eataly in Flatiron to pick up some accoutrements for our meal and I got carried away.”

“We also have a new set of ravioli stamps so that’s what we’re doing next weekend.”

“Thank you very much, Mrs. Murdock.” Matt loved calling you that and you loved it when he did. You loved belonging to him in every sense.

“I promise I’ll try not to distract you too much, I just wanted to be close to you.” You took out a thick binder from your bag and sat down on one of the chairs on the opposite side of Matt’s large wooden desk. You had picked it up this morning by your friend, Stella. She was tired of waiting for the ‘right’ partner and decided she wanted to have a child by herself.

Matt’s ears picked up on the sound of you putting the binder down on his desk. It was too heavy to be a novel or a notebook. “What is that?”

“Stella gave it to me, she’s in the final stages of choosing a sperm donor and she wants a second opinion.” You now had Matt’s full attention.

“Well, you do have excellent taste in men.” Matt punctuated his statement with a smirk.

“You think you’re joking but you should consider selling your sperm if this whole lawyer thing doesn’t work or if we never need extra money.” Who were you kidding, you lived in New York City, you always needed extra money. “I feel like every person in the book is just you but described by a different person.”

“Care to elaborate?” Matt seeming to have forgotten about the case he was working on.

“Smart”

“Ridiculously fast reflexes”

“Funny”

“Ivy-league educated”

“Good physique”

“Beautiful eyes”

“Strong moral compass”

“Athletic”

“Honest”

“Good mouth shape”

“Owns his own business”

“Very observant”

“Tidy”

With each trait, you leaned closer to Matt, you could go on forever but your lips landed on him, silencing your list of compliments.

You broke away before the kiss could get more heated. “Matt when I came in here I promised I wouldn’t be a distraction. Now you’ve got me all worked up.”

“Some of those I don’t think are on the profiles and some of them are redundant.” Matt took off his glasses stashing them inside a drawer of his desk. “But you know a compliment is never wasted on me so I’ll allow it, babe.”

“Regardless, I think you’re excellent baby daddy material.” Your heart was fluttering as you admired your husband sitting on the other side of the desk. Is it weird to have a crush on the person you’re married to?

Matt closed his laptop and moved it off his desk. “That’s just your uterus talking.”

“What do you know about my uterus?” You were puzzled, wondering if you had said something to Matt.

“Since we’ve been together this is the first time that your body has been ovulating.” Matt paused, unsure if he should continue. “I can…um smell it”

The type of birth control you were on previously had prevented pregnancy by stopping your body from releasing eggs but you were thinking about switching to something else. Therefore, this was the first time your body was naturally ovulating in a very long time.

You felt embarrassed despite it being something you couldn’t control. Plus Matt wasn’t the type of guy who would purposely bring something like that up to shame you. “Oh, is that weird for you?”

Matt held your hand reassuringly. “Only in the sense of how badly I want to take you over every flat surface in this office.”

“I have an appointment with my gynecologist next week to try to get on something different.”

“What if you didn’t?” You almost didn’t understand what Matt was implying. “This case should be wrapped up six months from now and the publicity it could bring could mean a more flexible workload for us. It would give me plenty of time to dote on my pregnant wife and help out with the kid.”

You and Matt both wanted to have kids. You knew how heartbreaking and lengthy the struggle could be to conceive. Seeing your friends going through their various fertility journeys had you thinking about bringing it up to Matt soon but you weren’t excepting it to come up this soon. “Yes.”

“Yes, what, Mrs. Murdock?” Even though you knew Matt couldn’t see you, the intensity of his words made you shift in your seat.

“I want you to get me pregnant, Matthew Murdock.” Finally saying the words out loud felt so right and gave you the boost of confidence you needed. “Right now, here in your office on your desk and any other flat surface you can think of.”

“C’mere, babe.” Matt patted his lap. You had stopped protesting about being too heavy or big to sit on Matt like his long ago instead choosing to focus your energy on other arguments that you actually had a chance of winning. 

“I love feeling your weight on me like this.” Matt pulled you closer by your thighs and rested his head on your bosom to hear your heartbeat. His hands slipped between your legs and you lifted your hips to give him the space he needed. “You’re so desperate, turned on, and ready for me and I barely even touched you yet.” 

“You’ve just been turning yourself on thinking about me, haven’t you?” He smiled when he felt the silky feeling of your pantyhose on his rough hands. His fingers danced up your thighs until he reached your pussy.

Matt just rested his hand there feeling how hot and wet you were getting. You whimpered, bucking your hips trying to get more of his touch. “I think you need to share. Tell me what you’ve been thinking about in that pretty little brain of yours.”

You thought about last night when it was just you and your vibrator while Matt stayed late at the office. It might have been a cliche but the fantasy never failed to get you off. “I think about when you’re all sweaty from the gym, all those grunts you make. Makes me wish you would just take me on the floor. You take the wraps off your hands to shove you in my mouth to gag me, reminding me to keep quiet since someone could walk in at any moment.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of how amazing that mouth of yours is.” Matt continued to cup your pussy, his hand the perfect size to hold you like this. You loved feeling how well the two of you fit together. 

He pulled off your silky pantyhose and pushed your skirt higher above your hips. Matt’s fingers pressed against your panty-clad crotch, chuckling at the wet spot. “Such a good girl getting yourself so wet and ready for my cock. You want me to fuck you on the floor like an animal? Is that what you want? Answer me.”

Matt’s fingers dipped underneath the lace of your panties and into your wetness, rubbing you just the way you liked. “Yes, I want that. I want you to want me so badly you don’t care about the consequences and how wrong it might be.”

Matt pulled his well-coated fingers out of you, wrapping his tongue around the digits. “How the fuck do you always taste so good?”

Matt returned his fingers to your warmth. “Sorry I haven’t been home much last week. You have no idea how irresistible you are when your body is doing everything in it’s power, making you oh so fuckable. I knew once I sunk in that sweet cunt I wouldn���t be able to pull out.”

“I would’ve had to fill you up and breed you.” You didn’t realize you had been grinding yourself on Matt’s fingers until he used his free hand to stop the movement of your hips. “Probably over and over again just to make sure it takes.”

You were so touch starved it didn’t take long for you to get close but Matt pulled his fingers away from you before you could get any closer. While still in the chair, Matt cleared his desk, making space for you. He hitched one of your legs to rest of the top of solid wood desk. Matt pushed his chair away and you were preparing to feel nudge of his cock. Instead, Matt got on his knees pulling your panties completely off, taking a deep inhale of the damp fabric before putting it in the breast pocket of his jacket.

His tongue swiped languidly across your folds, moaning at your taste. “You know I adore how you taste but it’s different when you’re ovulating.”

Your nails dig into the edge of Matt’s desk as you cry out Matt’s name. “Please Matt, I’m so close.”

“C’mon baby, come for me. Gotta make sure this pussy’s nice and relaxed before I impail you with my cock.” Matt flicks his tongue against your clit, making your body shake and thrash before going limp.

Matt gets off his knees, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down to free his erection. “You look so pretty all spread out on my desk.”

Matt’s fingers swipe some of the wetness that was dripping from your pussy to the edge of the desk. “Look at the mess you’ve made, baby.”

You heard the wet sounds as Matt used the fluid to fist the shaft of his cock. His hand goes back to your still-sensitive pussy shushing your whimpers as he gathers more of your wetness to coat his dick.

Matt comes up behind you, pressing his throbbing cock against your plush ass. “Matt, please, I need your hard cock inside me.”

Matt leans over you, adjusting himself so his hardness slides between your folds. “You just came and you’re already begging for more.” Matt whispers, in your ear as he plays with your hair. “Such a desperate cock-hungry slut.”

“I’ve thought about this every day since the last time I was inside you. Matt sunk into you slowly, allowing you to feel every inch as he kisses the side of your face.

As Matt went deeper, you whimpered, every time you thought it might be finished Matt had more for you. “I know, baby, I know it’s a stretch.”

“You’re like this every time it’s been a while.” Matt chuckles as you wiggle on the desk, wanting him to start moving. “Stay still, baby, just let me feel this pulsing cunt squeezing me so well.”

“It just can’t wait to milk my cock and take every single drop of my cum.” Matt’s thursts start slowly, his hips slapping against the flush of your ass. “You’re being such a good girl for me. Letting me inside this pussy unprotected when you’re at your most fertile.”

“I’ve been thinking about this ever since we got married.” Matt admitted. “Your dress was beautiful. I know you’re going to say that how would I know since I couldn’t see it. But I just know it was.”

Despite Matt describing one of the sweetest moments in your relationship, he started to go faster.You and Matt had a winter wedding. Your dress was white velvet, long-sleeved, off the shoulder, fitted with lace detail around the neckline and sleeves. When you chose it you made sure to pay attention to the texture and feel of all the different materials. Matt was so appreciative of this when you guided his hand over your body before the reception so he could feel everything.

You could hear the smile in Matt’s voice as he recounted that day. “I could feel the warmth radiating from your bare shoulders and neck. The way you threw your velvet sleeves around my neck when we shared our first kiss as husband and wife. I loved how the fabric clung to your hips. You were almost too beautiful, almost had to have you right there in the church.”

Matt hiked the leg that was on the desk to wrap around his hips, allowing him to go deeper. “Oh fuck, I’m going to get you pregnant.” 

Matt’s movements got more frantic, stimulating your clit on the edge of the desk. “My perfect little wife is going to look so cute with a swollen belly and tits.”

The thought caused your pussy to momentarily tighten around him and there was no way the cheeky bastard didn’t pick that up. “You like that didn’t you? You like the idea of walking around and everyone knowing what I did to you. Complete strangers knowing that I’ve claimed you and you’re mine.”

Matt’s words pushed you over the edge. “Oh fuck. Matt, I’m going to come.”

“Yeah, gorgeous? I’m close too.” Matt grunted as your cunt fluttered around him. He released inside you kissing your neck as warmth overfilled your sensitive cunt. 

Matt hugged you from behind, snuggling his head in your neck. “You did such a good job, taking me so well. I’m so lucky to have you.”

You made noises of agreement and hissed when he pulled out of you. Words felt like they took too much energy right now.

“Did I tire you out?” Matt asked as he helped you off his desk. “I guess I’ll just have to work on building up your stamina again.”

“I’ve been neglecting you and I’m sorry that I haven’t been taking care of you properly.” Matt’s snuggles continued in his chair. “I might have been gotten a bit carried away. If you want me to, I can run down to the pharmacy and pick up the plan B pill.”

“I can’t wait to have your child.” Matt fixed your clothes, wrapped you up in a throw, and helped you into an oversized armchair in the corner of his office. The quiet sounds of Matt working lulling you into an afternoon nap.

[agitowarrioroftheforest]

I got top surgery in November and it improved my life so so much. I would genuinely call it life saving. I had really bad chest dysphoria and back pain. Chest dysphoria is basically gone and I have way less back pain now comparably. People have noticed I carry myself differently, I sit differently. I no longer have to be hyper aware of my chest and I never have to wear a binder again(the compression was always very uncomfortable for me) I feel like I can finally be comfortable in my body. Maybe even be able to be intimate with other people again.

I noticed my mental health improved afterwards as well. I still have depression but it’s not as severe as it was last year. The thing about clothes mentioned in this post was true about me too, so many things I didn’t want to wear because there would be cleavage are now really comfortable.(crop tops!!!) I haven’t tried running yet because it’s winter but i’m looking forward to it.

I went into it with a lot of research under my belt and the most uncomfortable thing about recovery was the compression vest and the drains. But it was so worth it to me. My scar goes all the way across (my chest was large) and I honestly really love it.

i dont have to wear a binder. i have a flat chest i can inhale as deeply as i want and i never look like i have breasts. im not aware of my chest when i go down steps, im not aware of my chest when i put in a seatbelt. when someone hugs me it's like a flat board for them. i can wear a towel around my waist around my house and go shirtless to the beach. i was subconsciously avoiding half of my closet for years until one day i realized; i DO love these shirts, and they look *so good* now that i dont have a chest. im not paranoid at my job that my coworkers will find out the truth if i reach too high or tuck in my shirt. i dont stare at my chest every time i put on an outfit any more. i dont catch myself in a mirror at a department store and hunch my back. i stand up tall. i lie shirtless in bed every night and nothing stares back at me.

these are my experiences with top surgery if anyone is debating whether or not they want it. for me, every day i lie shirtless in piece. greatest decision ive ever made

[singular-braincells]

genshin characters (diluc, thoma, albedo) + gender neutral convenience shop owner reader 

or my funnier alternative title: when i agreed to temporarily take over my grandparents’ shop i did not agree to meet hot men

tw: some swearing and not proof read

uh six month hiatus? nah i wouldn’t know her even if i tried.

anyways, if anyone wants a continuation of this or has a brain rot of this too do shoot it in my ask. i’d love to brain rot together <333 have a good day y’all. if anything in this is weird or doesn’t make sense sorry brain juice isn’t flowing

ALSO IF I MESSED UP WITH THE GENDERS DM OR SHOOT ME AN ASK BRAIN HURT AT 2AM AND IS PRONE TO MISTAKES ;-;

background: 

your grandparents have been running their small cosy convenience shop for as long as you and your parents know

you’ve decided that for a year you would run the shop while they went out on a well needed vacation (to visit your parents, go sight seeing, etc.)

they’ve left instructions in a big 4 inch binder for handling shipment, closing shop, opening shop, dealing with problematic customers, stocking shelves, taking inventory, etc.

anyways, the locals who always see your grandparents are very surprised to find a new face running the store. they’re understanding when it takes you a just a tad bit longer to bag their belongings or giving back their change

after that week, there is a buzz around the neighborhood (or shop plaza if you will) about a new face running the small family grocery mart run by your grandparents. now people are going to the shop at least once to sneak a peak at you, after all it’s not very often that they see new faces

diluc

you first met when he saw you struggling to lift two large boxes of snacks and juice at six in the morning

it didn’t help that you happened to be in bed by one am and actually went to sleep at two am

you just received a several notifications at 5 am of your delivery of chips, granola bars, and orange juice. how wonderful

cue you having to wake up even earlier than normal to move a bunch of heavy boxes in the middle of the dark

a tall figure approaches you. they come closer. you recognize the uniform as the ones the coffee bar, next to the shop, that the employees wear. “do you need help?” the person asks. you look at the other nine large boxes and then glance at the granola bars you just dropped earlier. “if you wouldn’t mind. help would be greatly appreciated.”

you were able to move half of the boxes before you arms start to burn from all that lifting. you weren’t sure how your grandparents were able to carry all these heavy boxes when they were running the store

carrying the 8th box of granola bars, you hasn’t noticed the box started to slip from your hands and they make a very loud “thud” on the ground. you let out a stream of curse words before trying to pick the box back up

you hope only a couple of the bars would be broken and not the entire box of granola. you hear someone calling out to you, but with the wind being as harsh and loud you couldn’t really hear them

the guy gets close to you and effortlessly carries the box that you had dropped. “be careful. wouldn’t want you getting hurt.” he carries the box of granola away and leaves you low key flustered

you notice that the man looks really buff. like not to be creepy (you definitely weren’t staring 👀 but like you kinda were), but he made moving 4 boxes of orange juice look like it was nothing. absolutely weightless??

wait... now that you’re looking at him, he looks super hot??? his bright red hair tied into an effortless high pony tail?? the way his dress shirt is rolled up that show his forearms?? you can see some of his biceps when he lifts another big ass box of juice?? dude, this man looks like a male lead straight out of a Korean romance drama?? you on the other hand had rolled out in your crusty pajamas with bright pink slides that your grandma gifted you

talk about unfortunate. anyways, you tried to assist with carrying the smaller boxes to the inside of your shop. you two work on moving the boxes with only the buzzing of the bright white fluorescent lights coming from inside the store

you thank him vigorously for the help. you try to straighten out any bed head hair strands, but not gonna lie you look like ass at this point

“you work next door right? are you sure the owner won’t get mad at you for being late for your shift or something? i would hate for you to get in trouble for helping me out.”

“no? what makes you say that?”

“well if they fire you for being late, you’re more than welcome work here. I’m sure your boss is ass anyways.”

“i’m the owner?”

“oh.”

you ended up giving him a cold bottle of grape juice and a milk bread bun as a “sorry I mistook you as an employee and not the owner” and for being delicious eye candy at six am helping you out so early in the morning

every now and then he occasionally stops by the store with a warm cup of tea for you whenever he’s there to pick up dairy products for his coffee bar. in return, you give him a bottle of grape juice (at first he tried to pay for it but now he’s learned to just take it)

you and diluc are pretty good friends? well you can’t really tell... he’s not very good at sharing things about himself but that’s okay! you can understand and respect it

in general, i think the two of you enjoy each other’s company? i would hope so because you don’t really see him hang around anyone else...

thoma

he's a regular to your grandparents shop. in fact, your grandparents like him so much that they said specifically in their guide to give him a discount. always

he was there on your first day running the shop. you weren’t quite used to waking up at 6am and opening the store at 7am so naturally, you overslept 

you wake up at 7:05 am and you’re shitting bricks. you hastily change out of your pajamas and into normal clothes. you go to the bathroom and quickly brush your teeth while washing your face. by 7:15, you’re out the door with your work apron and with the keys to the store. 

you arrive at the store five minutes later and see a tall man with blond hair tied into a low pony tail. he has a red jacket on and he turns to see you. 

you greet him as nice as possible considering you just woke up and you were sure that the grogginess in your voice didn’t help. he waves back at you with a bright smile on his face 

“good morning! i’m not sure where the owners are, but i’m sure they’ll be here soon. they’re a lovely old couple so i’m sure there’s a reason to why they’re late.” you cough as you fish out the keys from your apron pocket

“ah, they are my grandparents.” you move towards the locked door and unlock it with ease. “i’m their grandchild, (y/n). i offered to run the shop while they take a long and overdue vacation.” you explain as you open the door for the tall man

you flick the lights on and allow the blond to gather whatever things he needed

while waiting at the cash register, you notice how handsome the guy looks while opening the fridges to access the whole milk. the white fluorescent lights highlight how soft his features are, the way his green eyes are focused when they’re glued to the different price labels, how he has a confident stride with the way he’s walking towards you

wait he’s walking towards you

oh shit and he has definitely noticed the way your eyes were glued to him

quick look at something else! it can literally be anything else... cat food?

you cough into your sleeve. “you find everything okay, sir?” he places his basket of goods onto the counter and nods. “oh, i didn’t even realize i hadn’t introduced myself.” he extends his hand out to yours. “my name is thoma, nice to meet you.” you extend your hands as well and take his hand. thoma has a very firm handshake and not to mention how incredibly warm his hands are 

“again, i’d like to apologize for being late this morning. my grandparents would kill me knowing that i made their favorite customer wait outside. that and being tardy on my first day.” you quickly scan the goods trying to get him out of the store as soon as possible so you could go into the janitors closet to cry

“oh no it’s quite alright! i think you’re doing a fantastic job for your first day. don’t worry i won’t tell a soul.” he registers what you said for a moment. “wait, i’m their favorite customer?” you laugh at the blond

“yes you are. they describe you as the perfect grandchild.” they’ve also said that you and him should go out on a date but do you really need that kind of complication in your life? absolutely not

“anyways, this is yours.” you hastily hand thoma his receipt. “have a good day! do come again.” you wave goodbye as thoma leaves the store. he waves back as the bells on top of the door jingle to signal his leave

thoma is a frequent customer of the shop and so far you can see why your grandparents want to set you up with him

he is single handedly saving the cat food industry with the amount he buys every time he visits

you ask him once if he has lots of cats with all the cat food he’s buying. “i don’t have any pets unfortunately, but i do use all the cat food to feed all the stray cats i see just outside of town.”

so he’s nice, polite, hot, and he’s caring towards animals??? how is he still single???

you and thoma are pretty good friends. small talk with him is not like the small talk you have with customers just to be polite. he shares things about him and in return you feel comfortable enough sharing some things from your old town with him

 overall, a 10/10 friend. you enjoy his company and vice versa. now, if only if you had the time to hang out with him outside the store :/

albedo

albedo works at the flower shop right across from your grandparents shop and every now and then you see him with a sketch book out

he looks ethereal. heavenly. delicately created from the gods themselves with the perfect hot to cute ratio

you always see him with a sketchbook out and he’s always sketching flowers or the different types of birds that perch on the flowers right above the entrance to the shop

honestly, you could watch albedo for hours. the way he cuts the thorns off of roses and places them with the bunches of brightly colored lavenders and how he arranges each basket and bouquet very thoughtfully 

your grandfather on more than one occasion he’s bought flowers from albedo for your grandmother for her birthday or on their anniversary

your grandmother always sends pictures of said flowers in the family group chat and they look lovely every single time

when the first holiday comes around you see the shop swamped with people and you feel kinda bad for albedo

so when the crowds of people died down at the flower shop, you grabbed a bottle of water and a bag of fruit snacks and headed out of your store. surely it couldn’t hurt to leave it for 5 minutes to give him water and a small snack... right?

you quickly rush over to the store while trying to keep an eye on the store. albedo is working at the counter and greets you as you walk in.

“good afternoon. I’ve never seen you around town before. are you new here?” You explain that you are temporarily running the convenience store across from his shop.

“it looked like hell from where i was. that rush of people looked really stressful not gonna lie.” you hand him the fruit snack and water bottle in your hands. “anyways, my name is (y/n) and if you ever need a break you’re more than welcome to crash at my store.”

“um, good luck with the rest of the holiday. see you ‘round” you wave good bye to him. you see some elementary kids enter the store and you make your way back to the shop.

later that evening you find a pot of the brightest yellow lilies right on the porch of the shop with a note attached to the terra-cotta pot

i think that you and albedo are friends but the amount of times that you stare at him makes you feel like a stalker than a friend. YOU FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT IT but how could the gods make someone so pretty and how could you not just stare at them for hours on end ;-;

[oreoambitions]

I just want to crosspost this from the Yosemite National Park facebook page, because I think it’s a really important message for anyone who spends time in wild places. Apologies if it has already been crossposted.

Speeding Kills Bear We get this call a lot. Too much, to be honest. “Bear hit by vehicle, dead on the side of the road.” Sadly, it’s become routine. I log the coordinates into my phone, gather the equipment I may need, and head to the location. This call came in cold; it sounds like the collision happened sometime around noon and it’s 4 pm now. The location is an hour’s drive away, so by the time I get there it’s well after 5 pm. I pull off on the shoulder, lug a large backpack of equipment over my back, and head off down the road. My job here is easy, really: find the bear, move its body far away from the road to prevent any other animals from getting hit while scavenging on it, fill out a report, and collect samples and measurements for research. Then I’m off on my way again with another number to add to the total of bears hit by vehicles this year—data we hope will help prevent future collisions. Pretty callous. However, the reality behind each of these numbers is not. Per the coordinates I was given, I’m still a few hundred yards off, so I continue down the road scanning it for blood as cars whiz by. I try to remember how many times I’ve done this now and, truthfully, I don’t know. This is not what any of us signs up for, but it’s a part of the job nonetheless. Then something catches my eye. It’s small and artificial, and laying in the middle of the road. As I walk closer, I see that it’s a broken shapeless car part, likely from an undercarriage. More cars whiz past. I turn my gaze from the car part down the embankment on the side of the road and there it is.   A cub. Its tiny light brown body laying just feet from me and the road, nearly invisible to every passerby. It’s a new cub—couldn’t be much more than six months old, now balled up and lifeless under a small pine tree. For a moment I lose track of time as I stand there staring at its tiny body, but then the sound of more cars whizzing by reminds me of my place and my role. I let out a deep sigh and continue on with my task.   I pick up the cub—it couldn’t be much more than 25 pounds—and begin carrying it off into the woods. I have no certain destination; I’m just walking until I can no longer hear the hiss of the road behind me. I see a grassy spot surrounded by a semi-ring of down logs and gravitate towards it. The least I can do is find it a nice place to be laid. I lay it down in the grass protected by one of the nearby logs and sit back on the log opposite of it, slightly relieved that it looks far more in place now than when I found it earlier. I take another moment and then continue with my work. I slide off my backpack, remove a binder, and start the assessment. It’s a female. This immediately triggers thoughts of the life this bear may have lived—perhaps she would have had cubs of her own—but before I finish that thought I hear a stick break and look up. Just beyond the ring, there’s a familiar figure intently staring back at me. It’s another bear. Surprised, I stand up quickly and the bear runs off into the brush but stops not far off and looks back at me. Acting on instinct, I pick up a stick and smash it over a tree to scare the bear further away. I stand there quietly, listening as I hear the bear’s footsteps tapper away.   A few silent minutes pass, and I settle back into my task. Timely coincidence, I think at first. It could be a bear coming to scavenge or this could be a common crossing area for whatever reason—we did have another bear hit and killed not far from here last week. But then I hear it, and it changes my mind completely. From behind me there’s a deep toned but soft sounding grunt. I immediately know what it is. It’s a vocalization, the kind sows (female bears) make to call to their cubs. I turn and look in its direction and there she is, the same bear from before intently staring back at me. It’s no coincidence. I can feel the callousness drain from my body. This bear is the mom, and she never left her cub. My heart sinks. It’s been nearly six hours and she still hasn’t given up on her cub. I can just imagine how many times she darted back and forth on that road in attempts to wake it. It's extremely lucky that she wasn't hit as well. The calls to the cub continue, sounding more pained each time. I glance back finding myself hoping it would respond to her call too, but of course, nothing. Now here I am, standing between a grieving mother and her child. I feel like a monster. I get up, quickly pack my bag, and get out of there. It is time to go even though my task is not done. Quickly, I set up a remote camera. Why? Every year we report the number of bears that get hit by vehicles, but numbers don’t always paint a picture. I want people to see what I saw: the sad reality behind each of these numbers.   So please, remember this. Remember that when traveling through Yosemite, we are all just visitors in the home of countless animals and it is up to us to follow the rules that  protect them. Go the speed limit, drive alertly, and look out for wildlife. Protecting Yosemite’s black bears is something we can all do. Learn more at http://keepbearswild.org/vehicle-bear-collisions/.

[chubbygaysunite]

Image ID: a six-panel comic drawn in black linear on a white background, all drawn in a cartoony style that limits the face to large, round eyes. Panel one is the author drawn as a young girl with long straight hair. She holds a sign that reads “Hello, my name is” before being cut off by the bottom of the image. The text reads: “I never liked my old name: too uncommon, too easily misspelled. I wanted something different: Sunshine, Francesca, Venus, [dot dot dot], Claire.” The names are arranged on her left and right, and “Claire” is written in smaller text, like a shy admission. 

Panel two: the author, walking rightward with a hunched posture, her hair arranged to hide her face from the audience. Her gaze is fixed on the ground ahead, and she carries a school bag on her back. The text reads: “My old name means ‘one who is free’, [dot dot dot], but I never felt free. I felt stuck in a body I hated, with a name I didn’t like,”

Panel three: The author is now older, with hair cut into a wavy bob, still in the same setting and still carrying a backpack. They still walk with a hunch with head ducked to hide their face, but they appear to be looking up more than down. The text reads as a continuation of the previous panel: “Living a life that wasn’t even mine.” 

Panel four: A close-up of paperwork, with both signature fields filled in. The signatures look similar from a distance, only a few strokes difference. The text reads: “In Grade 12 I asked to be called Thomas because it all looked the same, in my handwriting.”

Panel five: The author at seventeen, now transitioning as a trans man. His hair is cut short, and he wears an oversized t-shirt with a binder. The T-shirt still clings to his hips, and he looks directly at the audience. The text reads: “A boy I hated told me he would only call me by the name on my driver’s license. I told him it was Claire Rhoda Robinson, and we never spoke again.” 

Panel six: The author at his current age, wearing a crop-binder and a pair of oversized jeans, pulled up over his navel with his hands on his hips. His hair is long and wavy, layered poorly but still calling back to the volume of his past self’s hair. He has faint hair on his chin and sideburns, and some on his stomach. The text over his head reads: “Thomas means ‘twin’,” and the second clause - bracketing the author - reads: “But here’s my take: Thomas means ‘free’.” End ID. 

This took awhile but it was definitely worth the work. Idk anything about zines or trans events that I could send this to so it’s going here. Congratulations if you can figure out what my old name is, but don’t talk to me about it, that’s not my business anymore. Yes i know the art style is ripped off of KCC, i just like the concept of people just being a pair of eyes wandering around: it makes me feel better about never making eye contact. 

[mcyt-imagines]

hello! i am here to request a tommyinnit x reader! where the reader is a smaller streamer who accidentally befriends tommy while having no idea who he is??? they only find out when they see him streaming one day and lose their fucking marbles over how many people are watching him, and proceed to blow up his phone like??? hello what the fuck???? also, they/them pronouns please!

I love this request, mainly because I can totally see Tommy doing this to someone. Befriending them and just accidentally forgetting about his online popularity just to laugh as they freak out over it. I’ve used they/them pronouns as per requested as well, hope you enjoy! :D

Hidden In Plain Sight

You were worried you weren’t going to actually make any friends in your new classes, moving to a whole new school partway through the year wasn’t exactly common practice. So, you had braced yourself for the worst, mentally prepared to eat your lunch alone in the bathrooms even if it was gross, it was better than being eyeballed by your new peers. Approaching the common area with your food now in hand, you felt your stomach start to sink deeper and deeper, yet you kept up your pace determined to not look as downtrodden as you felt.

“Hey, new girl!” You turned quickly, giving yourself a bad case of whiplash that the boy who had called your name definitely noticed. “Uh, yeah?” You raised a singular eyebrow at him, the empty seats around him beckoning you closer. “Nice twitch patch. You stream?” He asked, gesturing to the small purple and white patch you had badly sewn onto your backpack. 

You stood dumbly ahead of him, your food held tightly in your hands. “Uh, yeah. I do, I only started a few months ago though.” You grow sheepish wondering if admitting to that could just lead to you getting bullied quicker. The boy’s face suddenly lights up, “Me too! I’ve been streaming for a few years now though.” He boasts a little, obviously taking pride in his hobby. You nod along, “Cool.” A few moments of silence pass, “Are you gonna sit or what?”

The smile that graces your face leaves Tommy a little stunned, “Oh! Thanks.” You quickly sit, shoulders relaxing almost instantly. “I-It’s nothing, I’m Tommy by the way.” He holds out his hand, you warmly shake it giving him your own name with a soft blush. Partly from the embarrassment of your pointlessly spiralling thoughts and partly from how cute this boy next to you is. Tommy happily carries the conversation, cheeks a soft pink as you watch him with intrigue and interest drinking in his words with an attentiveness he wasn’t used to. Tommy listens eagerly when he asks you about your twitch channel, you shyly tell him a little about it.

You give him your channel name and he follows you, you follow back instantly Tommy speaking through the exchange partly to distract you from his profile. It works and you close the app without a second glance, happily listening to the rest of Tommy’s story without a care in the world. Tommy feels relief rush through him, he didn’t want to overwhelm you and he knew that his popularity was likely to have an impact on your friendship. He didn’t want that. He wanted someone to want to get to know him because they found him interesting not because of his following and the ‘clout’ they may receive from being his friend. You didn’t seem like the type to do that but he knew better than to assume, he’d learnt that lesson a few too many times before.

“You normally sit alone?” You breach the subject with little tact, knowing that surely, he’s a popular guy. He’s loud, extroverted and funny, there’s no way he was as much of a social outcast to be forced to sit alone. He sighs loudly, huffing air through his nose. “No! But my lame-o friends decided to join clubs this year and they meet during lunch for extra club time.” He grumbles, arms now gesturing widely around him as he articulates exaggeratedly. “But I know that they’re really just trying to suck up to the girls in the drama club.” He makes a loud gagging noise.

“So, I stay out here and study, that way I have more time to stream when I get home,” Tommy explains with a soft shrug, motioning to his binder nearby, notes scribbled in an illegible chicken scratch. “I might have to start doing that, the workload here is so much more than at my old school.” You groan, gesturing to your own binder chock-a-block with notes, textbooks and spiralled notebooks.

That’s when the two of you hear a distant ringing of bells, “Where’re you headed? I can lead you there, this place is a maze sometimes.” Tommy offers the smile soft on his face. You pull at your folder and point to your next class, “Uh, it’s-“ You begin, only for Tommy to exclaim. “We have the same class! C’mon, Miss will beat our asses if we’re late!” “Miss who!?” You look at him quizzically as Tommy quickly stands grabbing his things and motioning for you to follow. When you stand slowly and grab your things Tommy grabs your wrist, “She might excuse you for being late, but I’ve been late one too many times dude, you don’t even know.” His pace is faster than yours but his hold on your wrist is firm, forcing you to keep up with him.

Days of chatting and befriending Tommy turns to weeks and soon it’s been a few months. You had been happily keeping to yourself mid-stream, your regular viewers making light conversation with you through chat. “Oh woah, we got a raid!” You cry watching your chat, “Aw it’s from Tommy! Hey big man, thanks for the raid of- HOLY SHIT! 300,000!?” Your eyes grow to the size of saucers as you reread the notification several times before finally looking into your webcam looking like a deer in headlights. “U-Uh welcome guys! If you’re planning on sticking around please be polite in chat!” You try your best to gain control over your racing mind, heart beating rapidly against your chest.

A large number of Tommy’s viewers leave, but you try your best to entertain those that stay for another hour or so before you end stream with a significantly larger number of subs than what you started with. Your speed dialling Tommy’s number is unrivalled as you lay back in your chair, eyeing your stream set up across from you. He picks up, “Hey-“ You cut him off immediately.

“Um, so when were you going to tell me you’re some big twitch hot shot!? Or was I just supposed to find that one out for myself champ?” You hold back the urge to screech down the phone line as he laughs at you. “Hey! It just slipped my mind, okay!? A big man’s gotta lotta big things on his mind at the one time!” He cries out in futile defence, knowing you had every right to be at least a little bit furious at him for keeping this a secret.

“Wasn’t the raid fun though!?” He squawks after a couple of moments of silence, “It was… fun, but it was also the most stressed I think I’ve ever been Tommy. That’s a lot of people to just throw at someone.” You huff a little, “Sorry, I uh, I didn’t really think before doing it. I was just super excited to send them over to you, I just knew they would love you as much as I do.” He mumbles the last part of his sentence, but you hear it just fine. “Aw, I love you too Tommy.” A smile finds it’s way onto your face, “I can’t believe I’m actually considering forgiving you.” You throw a hand over your eyes, groaning. “Would a midnight trip to get some fast food accelerate the forgiveness process?”

You hum for a few moments, “Are you trying to bribe me, Tommy?” The blond stammers adorably before huffing, “Uhhh, no?” He offers, “Oh well if that’s the case, then yes.” You grin as his screeches of laughter reach your ears, your own laughter joining his within moments. “Talk later big man, got a midnight meal to plan for.” Tommy groans, “Oh no! You’re gonna spend all my money!” You scoff, “I’m sorry mister millionaire! You’re my walking talking money bags now, get used to it!” You giggle along with Tommy’s chuckles, his voice relaxed. Tommy knew his assumption was right, even on the first day he met you. He knew you were a good person, a good person for him. There’s no one he would rather spend his time and money on.

~Requests are currently open!~

[mylifeisactuallyamess]

Armitage Hux x Female Reader

A/N: Set in my Echoes of the Heart universe I went back in time and wrote a little moment between Armitage and Reader before their arranged wedding. For Writer Wednesday @autumnleaves1991-blog @clydesducktape

Warnings: Mention of arranged marriage, nothing else I can see.

Word Count: 1503

The house seemed empty, you knew better though. Candles lit the dark wood hallways, casting a warmth that was not felt, flickering long shadows on the walls making the hallway have a life of its own. Your feet were bare, feeling the plush carpet beneath your toes as you padded to your favourite room on the Hux estate, your black nightgown fluttering with your movement. You took a candle off the wall and gently pushed open the large dark wood door, it creaked and you paused for a moment before slipping inside.

Rain pounded on the window, rivers of water flowing down the outside of the house as the never ending deluge fell from the perpetual grey clouds that filled the skies of Arkanis. The room was long, a dark wooden desk and two chairs stood to one side and you gently placed the candle down swapping it for one of the fuel cell powered lights. It filled the space with a barely perceptible hum but it gave you a sense of comfort. You trailed a hand over the back of one the chairs, the velvety grey/green texture soft against your fingertips. Lining the walls were rows of shelves all holding artifacts from one place or another. You even saw an old Imperial Trooper helmet on one but that’s not why you were here. Looking up you could see the foreboding wooden structure ran all the way to the ceiling and the top half was filled with books.

Books were rare in the Galaxy and for the Hux’s to have an entire library of them just screamed out their insurmountable wealth. You carefully made your way up the stairs, your heart thrumming with excitement as you approached the delicate objects, some were standing, their binders out so you could see the titles. Others were slumped in their little spaces, resting on one another as though they were tired of existing. Dust covered them, a thin layer but enough to see when it had been disturbed and you saw a void on one shelf. You trailed a finger across the gap, someone had been here and recently. You jumped when the door opened below, your first thought was to hide among the shelves but the light was on and it was pointless pretending you weren’t here.

“Hello?” Your breath hitched at his voice.

“Forgive the intrusion General.” You carried on perusing the shelves, coming into view so he could see you as you moved into the next aisle and disappearing from view again.

“No intrusion, it is I who should apologise for disturbing your solitude.” Always so formal, you thought with a little sigh. A shiver ran down your spine when you heard him start to come up the stairs to replace the book he had taken.

“Do you have a favourite General?”

“Book?” You peered round the end of the aisle to look at him, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. “Yes of course you meant book,” he muttered to himself. Your eyes dragged over him, he was still in his First Order uniform, he had bags under his beautiful green eyes and his hair was fluffy and soft as it dragged over his brow.

“Can you not sleep?” He cast a guilty look at you, his pale hands clutching the book tightly as though it was grounding him.

“No,” he confessed. “I am, I believe…nervous.” Your heart skipped a beat at his words, you had so much you wanted to say, how you hoped this marriage could blossom and become real but you didn’t think he was ready.

“I told you, I am not unwilling, I do believe it was the library that might have sealed the deal.” You joked and he let out a slight laugh, running a hand through his hair. You wanted to commit the sound to memory. He didn’t seem like a man who laughed freely very often.

“You enjoy books?” He asked lightly.

“I must confess we only had a couple in our house before…” my father sold them. “I did have one, it had such beautiful pictures depicting the planet Naboo.” Your eyes drifted as they lost focus, you remembered running your hands over the pages admiring the blues and greens, the glint of gold in the letters. Naboo was everything Arkanis was not. Armitage raised a hand and you focussed back on him.

“Wait a moment,” he mumbled and disappeared down an aisle, curiosity got the better of you and you followed him, both of you disappearing into the dimly lit rows of books. “Here,” the whisper of a book being removed from its resting place reached your ears and he turned to you with almost a hesitant expression on his face. “I believe this is the book you are referring to.” You took it, tracing your hands over the cover before turning and heading back into the light. You felt like you were in a dream as you glided down the stairs and took a seat in one of the plush chairs. You didn’t realise he’d followed you until he was peering over your shoulder. His body heat a comforting sensation on your back as he leaned over, his hand resting on the back of your chair, ever careful not to touch you.

You winced at the crack in the binding as you opened it, they hadn’t been handled for a while and so you must always open them with care. The pages were thick, just as you remembered and words were scrawled across the parchment. Long flowing runs of slanted words, the first letter of each page stood out, decorated with shimmering gold and you gently traced a finger over the colouring. You turned another page and sharply inhaled at the picture that was revealed to you. This picture showed waterfalls all blue and clouds of white, vibrant green grass and sunshine. You ached for such things, to feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, to be able to lay on the grass and hear birdsong instead of rain. To splash in the lakes, run your hands over the gem coloured pebbles only to dry off in the sun, a gentle breeze drifting over you. Many hours had been spent pouring over this book, it had got you through your mother’s death, transporting you to places undiscovered.

You didn’t realise you were crying until a tear slid down your cheek.

“Are you alright?” He asked softly, concern edging his tone.

“Yes,” you dabbed your eyes, careful not to mark the pages. “I am just being silly.”

“Do you have memories tied to this book?”

“I do,” you hiccuped softly. “When my mother was dying I spent hours pouring over the pages, imagining I was anywhere but here.” You slammed the book shut already worried you’d said too much. The marriage was tomorrow and if you spilled anymore of your damaged soul he might call the whole thing off. You stood abruptly making him back up a step in surprise, your fingers clutched the book almost loathed to part with it. “Thank you for showing me this,” you whispered, offering it back to him. His hands were hesitant and slightly shaky as he wrapped them over yours. His fingers were warm and smooth and he pushed the book gently back towards you.

“They never get looked at in here. Consider it….a wedding present.” You glanced at him, the light from the lamp casting harsh shadows over his chiselled features but all you got from him in that moment was kindness.

“Thank you,” you mumbled. You expected his hands to move away but he stayed where he was, the warmth of your hands bleeding together until you couldn’t tell them apart without looking down. Your heart fluttered, you wanted to kiss him, to express your gratitude and to show him some kindness in return. You’d heard the rumours of how ruthless General Hux was, his subordinates deferred to him without question, he’d killed people for less than disobeying a simple order. But right now you saw none of that, just a quiet man in his huge house offering a moment of solace to someone he barely knew. Your chests rose and fell in sync as you stared at each, you leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek but his expression changed. You saw the horror flood his eyes, the panic fly across his face as he snatched his hands away, his movements jerky and he backed out of your reach.

“Goodnight My Lady. I shall see you tomorrow afternoon,” his tone abrupt and dismissive as though he was brushing you off.

“Goodnight General.” You replied softly, watching him almost flee the library. You sat down with a sigh, pulling your gown around you to ward off the sudden chill that filtered into the room. Hopefully he would open up once you were married, hopefully you could show him the love that he clearly deserves even if he never returns it.