#i cant with mav anymore

[polar-equinoxx]

I’d consider this breaking news because I haven’t seen a post about this but…

It’s Maverick. Staring at Iceman.

From across the tarmac.

Just before Holly asks him “Did you hear about Ice?”

I cannot with this guy.

[crossthread]

No jokes here. The Navy’s best pilot and the Navy’s best admiral. Between them, eight air-to-air combat kills and five stars. These were men who commanded respect with or without your approval. This was the picture of ruthless competence.

Debriefing (& Other Stories) • part 2 of Easier Done Than Said by @compacflt

[milkyberryjsk]

i got back into r6

[chradi]

Needing to potentially make a big decision that would save me A Lot of heartache while also still hurting myself and others in the process waughuaghough.

I guess at some point, you gotta balance the pros and the cons and realise that not many pros can balance out “borderline heart palpitations and entire ruined days multiple times a month”

[pollyna]

i woke up in the middle of the night and started thinking about this

post uranium mission, bradley mentions to mav one day that he hasn’t seen the flyboys for far too long now. he admits that he misses them and wants to bury the hatchet and “it would be nice if he gets to see them again.”

maverick is like “sure we can have them over or something.”

bradley also says that “it’s a good opportunity to introduce the daggers to the flyboys.”

mav is excited and goes “that’s a great idea baby goose”

he takes out his phone and bradley asks “are you going to text the flyboys?”

mav answers and starts to type away happily “no im going to text ice to have him organise this meet”

bradley stops whatever the hell he was doing first and looks at mav with a look he cant explain

mav looks up at bradley when he doesn’t hear what bradley was doing any longer and is confused after seeing bradley’s look and suddenly…

realisation dawns on maverick’s face “oh… ice is, ice is gone” and mav has to sit down.

if mav’s face and realisation doesn’t kill bradley, it’s the fact that he sees mav’s half typed message and opened chat between him and iceman that does kill him when bradley comes to sit next to mav

safe to say i cant sleep after my brain decided to come up with this

WELL BRO (affectionate and gender neutral) NO YOU BROKE MY BRAIN TOO AND IT'S ONLY 8 IN THE MORNING. Wow.

And on the open chat there are so many message. Because Mav forgets Ice isn't around anymore and he writes him silly little thing, send out photos and sometimes leaves him messages on the voicemail too. But what's worst is, Bradley realises that sometimes Mav writes to Ice knowing he isn't going to answer. He knows because those are the longest and the more heartfelt. He gets to read just a couple of lines before he gets too much even for him.

"I set down with B this morning, over breakfast. He looks like Carole and Goose's son but he has a way of tilting his head and saying stuff it's all yours. I know you're- gone but-"

They stay right there, sitting side by side, Rooster's arm around Mav's shoulder and they don't talk.

[slafkovskys]

more maveric (of course)

i just keep eyeing his hoodie and cant help but imagine being bundled up in one of his hoodies cuddled together on the couch running a hand through his curls

-🎪

thinking about when he comes home from utah for the first time. he wasn’t able to do much exploring without the team because it was dev camp, but he’s so excited to babble about all the places he did find. you’re on the couch in your apartment and he’s sprawled on top of you (something you’ve barely gotten used to in the years you’d been together, but you don’t laugh at his legs hanging off the back of the couch anymore for his sake) and his arms are wrapped loosely around you.

you keep having to pull the sleeves of his ridiculously large hoodie up as you card your fingers through his curls, humming along to his words, “and i made a note — in my phone— of all the places you would like, amour. so many smoothie places, there’s parks. i- j'ai trouvé notre maison, je pense-”

“mav,” you call and he stops, looking up at you with big eyes, “slow down. you switched to french.”

“je suis désolé,” he mumbles as he presses a kiss to the underside of your chin, “‘m just excited for you to see it all. i think that it will be good for us. home.”

you grin, tightening your arms around him and pulling him close, “i’m excited too. now, tell me about our house.”

j'ai trouvé notre maison, je pense - i found our house, i think

je suis désolé - i’m sorry

[unhinged-motogp-confessions]

https://www.tumblr.com/unhinged-motogp-confessions/754170988299698176/on-the-topic-of-weird-moves-i-still-do-not

anon asking about mav moving: i may be able to add a bit of context to this as i was reading about this yesterday! it definitely wont be everything but i think it probably played a part!

so mavs preferred cornering style is more in line with whats called “point and shoot” or “cornering off” which is common in people who dirt bike (funnily enough). this means that you break harsher into a corner and use that to turn before accelerating out. that produces almost a v shape if you were looking at it from above?

what the aprilia is better at (at least in 2022 but i think still now as its aleixs cornering style) is a more traditional corner speed style, where the braking is lighter and the turn more gentle. this style produces a much smoother curve if you look at it from above!

im still kind of in the process of trying to pin down where all of the bikes are at now as the same manufacturer can change over time (and riders can adapt to different styles as well so mav may have adapted to the corner speed style since!) but i think as aleix is the long-time cornerstone of aprilia development its likely to have stayed the same

both styles have their own merits and a lot of what works when is down to tyre compound and durability (marcs very dirt bike point and shoot style worked SO well when he joined in 2013 as it managed his tyres well (so there was less tyre deg than there was on the corner speed bikes) as an example). but a manufacturer cant cater to both styles with the same bike as they require such significant changes (including the actual bike frame, thats how much of a difference it makes!)

so while it might not be a big thing anymore if hes adapted over time, riders tend to feel more comfortable in a prefered style, so this may have factored into his decision to leave

waffle over now, sorry i was reading yesterday and found it interesting! turns out he had the same issues with the yamaha prior to joining aprilia

.

[maybepolly]

tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better

Tagged by: @maverickbackalley and @mutxnts !! thank you mav and ash for the tag :) <3

3 ships: klapollo, narumitsu and phantometis for that angst-fueled crack lol

first ever ship: this is going to show my age like nothing else but it was serena and darien from sailor moon lmao I even made fanart at like 5 years old

last song: candy says by the velvet underground (i was watching my bestie play immortality… I guess it counts?)

last movie: guillermo del toro’s pinocchio. cried like a bitch.

currently reading: i’m actually rereading the sherlock holmes stories thanks to letters from watson!! yes detectives have been a special interest of mine since forever how did you know

currently consuming: coffee. yes i shouldnt but I need it

currently craving: ramen!! i havent had proper ramen in ages. i cant even find the cheap stuff in my local supermarket anymore :(

most people I thought about are already tagged somewhere else, but if you want to tackle this please feel free! once again thank you to both mav and ash for the tag you’re both amazing :D

[beantothemax]

i cant take this anymore

you ok mav?

[ijustlandonboats]

@cllsgnslider​

February, 1987. Miramar, California.

To say that everything was in a somber mood lately, was an understatement. Ever since the training exercise in Miramar where Goose had perished, the mood was dour and somber, amongst the naval pilots of the Navy Fighter Weapons School, best known as Top Gun.In twenty years of the school, a pilot had never died in a training accident like this. Nobody knew what had really happened to Goose and Maverick’s F-14 to make it go wrong. Jetwash from the exhaust of Iceman’s fighter just ahead of him made him lose complete control, and complete mechanical faiture of the ejection system. The naval investigation had cleared Lieutenant Pete Mitchell of all wrong doing. But that didn’t stop Mav from punishing himself, hard, and he was struggling to just get through the day and focusing, until now he had just given up. He had turned in his wings to Jester and the program commander, Viper.

God damn it, everything checked out in pre-flight. Bullshit. This is how Cougar felt, when he walked. But...this isn’t about my family. This is me. I don’t have a fucking family.

He sighed as he entered the bar, and he removed his aviator sunglasses, as he approached the bar, and he tucked his sunglasses into the collar of his naval white uniform. He saw Slider, and Wolfman, and Hollywood at the bar, and luckily, the taller Lieutenant was just drinking, and wasn’t with babes, because he wasn’t going to be much competition for that. 

Iceman and him didn’t speak to each other, aside from Kazansky telling him good luck, and that was it. He had been running his mouth that Maverick was dangerous, and maybe some people were starting to listen to him. He was there with Goose and Merlin, when Cougar got freaked out and quit, and he was there when Goose died, his radar intercept operator. Two pilots who had worked with Maverick were history. It wasn’t a good image. Who gives a fuck? I’m quitting. Just done with this crap. I cant..anymore.

“Hey, Ron.” Mav spoke up, clearly stressed, calling Slider by his real name, as a compatriot and a fellow pilot, just not interested in competition anymore, with his fellow pilots. “You got some time? I’m buyin’, if you want. My plane leaves in a few hours. And I uh, just want hang...before I leave and stuff.”

He was wearing his naval uniform for probably the last time. He didn’t know what he was going to do. Maybe fly civilian jets for an airline, if he ever could muster the nerve, or drive trucks, he remembered Goose suggesting it. Or go to law school next. He was sure that leaving the Navy entirely was the next step. He just couldn’t fly anymore. His heart was broken, and not in it. And well, nobody really wanted to fly with him, and be his RIO after what happened with Goose. His co-pilot in the F-14 was his responsibility, and he failed.

Wolfman and Hollywood just stared at Maverick, not wanting to bother him or give him a hard time, having quiet sympathetic looks, and Slider was a strange choice for Mav to hang out with, but he had his hat in hand. But the more distance he had between Kazansky and himself, the better.

[rmbaloncesto]

[narutomaki]

i want Saejima and Majima to [redacted] me SO BAD

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Declaring War.”

Hope you guys have a great day,and I hope you enjoy the story. 

“There is only one way that we are ever going to finish this!” The human slammed their fist down atop the table and stood, “There is only one way we are ever going to finish this, and that is to turn our eyes on the home of our enemy. This will not be stopped until we bring hellfire to their home planet! And show them what it means to attack humanity and the GA!”

There was uproar around the council chamber as representatives took to their feet in open protest or support to such a plan. Yelling grew up around them until no one could be heard over the din.

It was only the gavel -- bestowed on the Rundi chairwoman as a gift from one of the human counselors -- that was able to silence the crowd. 

“Silence!”

The room quieted only slightly as the chairwoman glanced around at the council chamber, “This is not a decision we should rush blindly into, counselor. This is not a time for blind anger, this is not a time for revenge. This is a time to think carefully and strategically. While the majority of this council supports you in the war effort, we do not support blindly charging in after those who oppose us.”

“With all due respect chairwoman, that is not what we are suggesting either. I am suggesting the logical course of action. The Burg have attacked our homeworld, earth, and it has attacked the groomm homeworld, and if what the Kree are saying is correct, and they were not involved in this attack, which i still doubt, they have come dangerously close to their homeworld as well. They have proven that they have no regard for the rules of intergalactic combat, and if they are going to disregard the rules, they should be treated in accordance.”

“We do not discard the rules just because others will not follow them, counselor.”

The human counselor stood, “To the contrary. The Burg were never a part of the GA, and while they were afforded the protections as an ally of the state, they have since discarded those rights. All laws regarding GA warfare are predicated on the idea that others, even enemies will understand the importance of these codes of combat. No nuclear or fission weapons, no planetary destroying weapons, no intervening with the function of another solar system’s star, and no direct attacks on civilians or a genesis homeworld.” 

She stood and looked down at the other delegates, “Well the burg have attacked two of our homeworld without consequence. They have proven the use of weapons capable of destroying entire fleets, and if the technology is developed, entire worlds. Commander Vir had to die for us to gain that knowledge, and I will not have his sacrifice be in vein.”

There was a shout of agreement from some of the crowd most enthusiastically from the Celzex and the drev.

“I approve the human message.” THe Drev councilor said, standing.

The chairwoman turned to look at the Drev, “I thought your people were not supposed to go to war based on the idea of revenge.”

The Drev shook his silver head, “While we considered the commander one of our own, that is not what we are saying. The burg tactics during battle were dishonorable and cowardly. They went behind our backs to use technology as a means to their ends instead of pure skill. They have proven themselves to be cowards. They have attacked our people on their home planets.” He looked around at the others, “On our planet, though war is not personal, if someone walks into MY house and slays MY brother, than I WILL declare war, because if he gets away with it once without consequence, he will do it again. The Burg have proven time and time again that they can misbehave on the galactic stage and face no consequences.” He turned in a wide circle all four hands out, “And I say that ends here. If they want to attack our homes, let us invade ours. If they want to strike at our morale, let us strike at theirs. If they want us to suffer, than let us show them the meaning of suffering.”

A cheer rose up from part of the room given heartily by the Celzex and especially Lord Celex, who sat on his pedestal next to the Drev commander -- the two of them having gotten along so well in the past.”

Things were hushed for a moment and then one of the Vrul leaders stood, “A stirring speech to be sure, Sentinel, but let us look at this in a more logical manner. Taking a war to them would be both impractical and costly. The resources we would alone are astronomical. yes , it is sad that we lost Commander Vir, and it is also sad that we lost Dr. krill, a member of my own species, but one man and a single ship is not worth a war.”

A tesraki from across the room snorted, “You are delusional if you think the burg will think the same. What happens when they decide to invade your planet. Do you wish us to just stand idly by and not waste resources.”

The Vrul stood straighter, “Do not take us for fools, we all know that the terasaki simply want war to be able to profit from it.”

The Tesraki stood fists clenched, “I would watch what comes out of our mouth, counselor! For I have thought this through where you have not. If we do not strike at the Burg where they are weak, then they will return,and next time it will be my home planet, my children, and my grandchildren…. But of course you wouldn’t know about that would you, being from a species that systematically slaughters their own people when they aren't useful anymore!”

The gavel slammed down again filling the room with it’s ringing, “That is enough! I will not have. Speciesist sentiments spouted in my counsel chambers.  You all should be ashamed.” The counsel woman stood from her seat, “I, and the Rundi people tend to agree with humanity and the Drev. The Burg have gone to far, and they must have a punishment equal to their attacks. If nothing we should work to ride to their home planet and threaten them directly. If they do not see the logic in surrendering, than we shall move forward with plans.” She turned to look at the Vrul counselor, “Your people are not being asked to join us or even support us. You are simply being asked to accept our decision and not interfere with the war going forward.”

There was more muttered agreement around the hall.

The GA had just declared war on the Burg nation.

*** 

Sunny stood alone on the Tarmac. This part of the military base was old, and no longer much used. It had rained earlier in the day leaving the tarmac wet and filling the air with a fresh cleansing smell that scrubbed out the holes at the base of her neck and her throat.

She looked down at her handiwork.

It wasn’t so bad if she did say so herself, though she hardly doubted the GA would let her fly it… not that she planned on asking for permission.

“It was a ship, sort of. One that she had reclaimed from an old junkyard and had dragged out here to fix. Once upon a time someone had declared the thing unusable, but she knew better, and as a talented engineer she had proven them wrong. It wasn’t a large ship, mind you. It might hold up to thirty people if given the chance, though she didn’t see that being much of a possibility. This was something she found she would probably do alone.

She sighed and turned to look at the fading sky, head tilted back. In one hand she held her long spear, and in the other she hald a short spear…. Made once for someone else.

She sighed and barely heard it as the footsteps approached from behind, pausing at her shoulder.

“IS this what it felt like for you?” She wondered 

Cannon shifted where he stood, “Maybe a little.”

“I miss him.”

“I know.”

“Feels like I can’t breathe… Its cold.”

“I know.”

She turned to look at her brother, towering a good three feet over her, “I have to do this.”

Cannon didn’t look convinced.

“You know I have to.” 

“That’s what mother said.”

Sunny went stiff her eyes falling on him.

He sighed, “I just want to make sure you don’t turn into her, which…. Is why I am coming with you.”

She stopped in surprise, and he smiled, “Don’t think I don’t know what you are planning, and I want to join…. In fact, there are a few other people who insisted on coming too.” He glanced over her shoulder, and she spun on her heels, watching as a group of figures marched up the tarmac.

She recognized a good few of them, Narobi, Ramirez, Maverick, Conn, being those in the first line.

They walked up and Ramirez gave her a sort of half smile, “Mav and I thought you could use some muscle.”

Narobi nodded, “and someone to keep this hunk of junk in the air” Conn ignored the greetings and floated past her, “This thing is trash.” he commented looking over her ship.

Sunny frowned but ignored him mostly.

When the group of them stepped aside, she was surprised to find Katie marching abroad with a large suitcase, “You idiots are going to need a doctor if this is going to work.” She turned, “Also, I brought someone to pilot this thing.”

Sunny’s heart immediately fell at the thought. It was true she needed a pilot, but thinking about that reminded her acutely of how Adam was missing.

The young man walked forward, even younger than Adam, no more than a boy, but she recognized him as one of the recruits who had been involved in the last engagement with the burg. He raised a hand in salute face serious, “Lt. McCaster at your service.” He paused, “I know I cant fly like the commander did, but I learned a lot from him, so I hope it will be enough.”

He stepped past.

There were two more figures left, standing outside on the field. They were both wearing uniforms though something seemed rather off about all of it. Hats covered their eyes.

Sunny looked down in confusion, until one of the figures raised her head to look sunny in the face.

Bright grey eyes and honey blond hair.

“Martha!” 

She put a finger to her lips, eyes serious, “I can’t stay long.” She said quietly, and we had to sneak onto base.” She paused to look at Sunny, “I wish I could go with you, but I have to stay here…. I have too many other people to take care of.” But I brought someone with me who I couldnt talk out of coming.”

Sunny  looked over, and watched as the other pulled back his hat.

She barely recognized Thomas with his hair cut so short.

“Keep him safe, I don’t want another one of my sons gone.” She looked up at Sunny, “You can do that for me, can’t you?”

“Sunny nodded seriously.”

Martha nodded back

Thomas looked around at everyone, and Sunny found it hard to look at him. He had Adam’s nose and eyes, though his face shape was different, “Look, I havent done a whole lot of worthwhile things in my life, but I, well, no one messes with my family, and that's the honest to god truth of it, so I… I’m here to help.”

There was a small chorus of approval from the rest of the group.

Sunny was about to turn and address them all when another group of figures marched up the tarmac.

She knew Drev when she saw them, and she was surprised to see A hunched figured at their head.

“Hijan?” She said quietly

Martha turned on the spot as the wizened old Drev walked up, A white cape billowing from her shoulder, a spear in either upper hand. It seemed odd to see her like thta, and with a universal translator in her ear no less, “Do you have room for a few more?”

Sunny nodded a bit dumbstruck, while Martha stepped forward, pushing back her cap a little more.

“Hijan…. You took care of my son on Anin?”

The old Drev warrior looked down at the small human almost four feet shorter than her. “Your son in blood my son in spirit.”

Martha smiled, “Than from one mother to another….. Make sure his disappearance was not in vein.”

Hijan raised her spear, “To my last breath.”

***

I lay on the soft padded floor feeling the gentle rocking and listening to the sound of the pulsing alien engines. What I lay on was some kind of white cotton or, moss sort of substance, but whatever it was it was nice, and helped to soothe my aching back.

The alien creature looked over at me, or at least I think it did.

It was a strange creature, about seven feet tall and mat grey. It had five large legs and a small protrusion on the top of its body. My most accurate comparison would be the Hexapods from that old movie Arrival or the Omnidroid from the first incredibles movie. It was so completely alien that I wasn’t even sure how the thing communicated, though it was nice enough to me at least.

They had found me shortly after my run in with the blue raptor thing, and stumbling through the bushes I had looked up only to see a group of these things surrounding me. Obviously I had been freaked out, like pee your pants and scream like a little girl kind of freaked out, but they had been slow and almost gentle, and once I had let them forward they had sealed my wounds.

They even let me keep my things when I was bundled aboard their strange alien ship, nothing more than a hovering silver ball over the sand. I was put into this strange room while one of them watched over me.

It was nice, soft, and comfortable, though I was loath to think of the radio that I had dropped somewhere back on the planet, though I still had the knife and the broken spearhead.

I lay back quietly on the padding eyes mostly closed.

I was weak from blood-loss and the pain, so I only partially noticed as an opening appeared on the opposite wall and another one of the creatures walked in. of a moment I could see across the hall and into a similar room to mine before the wall was sealed.

I watched the two Omnidroids communicate with each other, hearing nothing more than a very deep rumble, which was so powerful it seemed to shake my bones.

No way I was going to understand that.

Somehow, the rumbling was rather soothing, and I closed my eyes just to listen.

I was sure now that wherever that wormhole had taken me, it wasn’t anywhere I was familiar with. The GA had no record of the Omnidroids, and if they did I would have been the first to know about it, not because I was important enough for them to tell, but because I was a nerd for new aliens.

Now all that remained was one question.

Where were they taking me, and what were they going to do? 

[vegaprose]

@pastelmoongoddess​ | continued from xo 

Thomas looked up suddenly and glanced around him.  He was the only other person still there, and he glanced over at Maverick, expecting to see him on his phone, talking with some other friend but no, he was looking at him.  "Oh uh, you mean me too?  It’s okay, chow hall food is good for me… uh a bit later, as I’m uh, not hungry…“

Thomas wondered how he could politely decline, but then his stomach growled loudly and he tried to hide behind his operator’s manual on the UH-60 Black Hawk.  It wasn’t easy being himself, Thomas knew as he sheltered his shame behind the safety of a large manual, and to decline it so readily would undoubtedly come off as being too stubborn and too stoical.  This is why other helicopter pilots didn’t even bother trying to be friendly with him anymore and as much as Thomas wished that he could let his guard down, he just couldn’t.  Not with everything that had happened to him.

"I’m glad though, that you have extra money.  That’s always uh, great?”

“ ‘Course I do.. why not? “ Mav had that same old grin plastered to his face when he realised that Thomas didn’t think he would be invited for takeout. They were the only two in the locker room & according to Maverick, everyone had to be included in the delivery or it just wasn’t worth it. There was every reason to celebrate, too, so to see the surprise on the others face was a shock. “ That stuff isn’t what you really want though, surely? “ he asks, canting his head to decipher whether or not the other is just trying to worm his way out of it. 

Maverick could just about see the conflict in the way the other pilot carried himself and the tone he used, as well as his chosen vocabulary, but it only encouraged him to push further. There was no way that he’d spend this much getting some good food in, much better food, if it didn’t include everyone here and despite Thomas’ reluctance to join the upcoming feast, the fighter pilot wasn’t going to let it slide. Even if he didn’t partake this time, Mav would find a way to get through. 

“ You know, if you’d rather just hang back or something, I can bring you whatever, if you’d rather have your own space? “ he offered, hopeful this was the cause and also the solution.

[bytemycupcakes]

Lil Mav and Luci thing I cant shove into a comic or single drawing soooo

Its typed out 👌👌👌

~~

Lucifer reaches up, smacking his arm around Mavriks neck and pulling him to his level, "Mavrik my dear boy, don't you want Charlotte back?"

Mavrik steady's himself and blinks in a bit of confusion, "U-um.. Not.. Really? I was- more hoping to.. Move on-"

Lucifer laughs, letting go of Mavrik and stepping forward, "BULLSHIT!" He whips around, the apple of his cane a few centimeters from his face, "You mourned the breakup for weeks, boy!"

"A-and...?" Mavrik slowly pushes his cane away as Lucifer steps back toward him.

"And I can see how empty you are, Mavrik," Lucifers smile goes from its usual chaotic intensity to.. More soft, caring, "Charlotte was the key to a spark deep within you... With her gone- You're not yourself"

"Sir I can- I don't need Charlie for that- There's pl-"

"Don't finish a statement that you know is a lie, son-"

Mavrik huffs, "Okay so maybe I want Charlie back more than anything this hellscape could provide- So what?? That doesn't matter! She broke up with me! She doesn't- She doesn't want to be around me anymore. A-And I'm-" a few tears run down his face, "I'm not going to force her to come back to something she doesn't want"

Lucifer frowns "Mav-"

"I-I know.. You have good intentions, Sir... But I mean it- I don't... I don't want her back... Not while she hates me."

[calebswitching]

past lives - Mateo/Caleb

When: Monday, August 19

Summary: During the mark-swap event, Mateo discovers that Caleb has been emailing with his ex.

@dommateolopez

Caleb had been exceptionally quiet for a couple of days. It started on Mark's birthday, when Caleb kept thinking about him every time he wrote the date on an assignment, but it was days later now and he was still out of sorts. And he kept itching to email Mark. So he waited until Mateo was busy, and pulled it up on his phone. Unfortunately, he must have misjudged, because Mateo walked in two minutes later, and Caleb quickly tried to hide his phone.

Mateo had noticed the change in Caleb's behavior, but he assumed it stemmed from the anxiety of the mark change, so he didn't push the other man to discuss it. However, when he noticed him hide his phone in a hurry, he frowned, not even thinking before leaning over to look at the screen. "Mark?" he asked, his brows lifting. "I hope that's not the same Mark I'm thinking of."

Caleb blanched and turned off the screen before sliding the phone in his pocket and out of sight.  "....No?" Shit, no one was supposed to see! He would normally just do this in his own room. He swallowed and looked down. Caleb knew he was supposed to be the Dominant here, that was why he was in Mateo's suite, but the moment Mateo had spoken, every ounce of dominance that Caleb had been able to muster vanished. He knew he was in trouble.

He frowned deeper, moving to sit next to Caleb and resting a hand on his shoulder. “That isn’t a very reassuring answer, hermanito,” he said, squeezing his shoulder lightly.

Caleb cringed at the look Mateo gave him and shrank back into the couch.  "It's not a big deal," he protested, but even to his own ears it sounded weak. "... Please don't tell Nick? Or- or Eric, or... Anyone. Please, Sir."

“Hermanito, you know I can’t promise that,” he said quietly. “Nick is my claim, and Eric will be yours. Can you please explain to me why you’re still communicating with him?” he asked, keeping his tone calm and warm.

Caleb scooted back away from Mateo to the edge of the couch and pulled his legs up, wrapping his arms around his knees and pressing his face into his forearms.  "They can't know.  Please, Sir.  Please.  They'll be so mad."  It was extremely obvious in this moment that no matter what their marks were supposed to be for the event, at his core Caleb was a sub, and as soon as his composure was broken he reacted to Mateo as a sub reacts to a Dominant.  "It's just emails.  Just.. just the last month or so.  It's not a big deal."

Mateo sighed and let Caleb have his space, but he did reach over to set one hand on his back, rubbing slowly. “You didn’t explain to me why,” he pointed out after a moment. He knew he wasn’t exactly acting as a sub but this clearly called for him to slip back into his normal role.

Caleb grimaced and didn't look up.  He knew what that sigh meant.  He was disappointing.  He was difficult.  He was too much work, and he wasn't cooperating, and he was frustrating for everyone around him.  His stomach  felt like it was twisting into knots.  "I'm sorry," he mumbled.  "I... I don't know.  I just wanted to talk to him."

His hand moved from Caleb’s back to his chin, gently moving the switch’s face so he could look into his eyes. “Hermanito, you understand why that’s concerning to me, don’t you?” Mateo asked quietly. He didn’t want Caleb to feel attacked for this - he just needed him to understand why this was not a very good choice.

When Caleb looked up at Mateo, following his gentle direction, his face displaying raw, unfiltered emotion.  He couldn't keep it away anymore.  He was awash in a sea of shame and guilt and fear and sorrow and desperation.  "It's... it's not like I'm.. dating him.  I'm not going back to Texas.  I'm just... just talking.  I miss him."  He knew how that sounded, and he grimaced, pulling away from Mateo's hand so he could look down at the floor.  God, he was pathetic, wasn't he?

He supposed he could understand why Caleb might miss him. It was all he’d known when it came to relationships. “What do you miss about him?” As much as Mateo wanted to order Caleb to never message that... sorry excuse for a Dom again, he knew a gentler approach would be needed.

Caleb shrugged and rested his chin on his knee.  "He wasn't all bad," he said quietly.  "...He was funny.  When he emails me... They still make me laugh.  And..."  He turned his face away from Mateo so he couldn't see the tears that felt like they were coming.  "He misses me.  He... he hardly ever sends angry messages anymore.  And... he was so happy to hear from me.  Said he misses me and he still- still loves me."  His voice cracked at the end.  He hadn't talked about Mark like this with anyone.  He'd talked about the pain, and why he'd left.  He hadn't talked about why he'd stayed for five years.

His hand came up to the back of Caleb’s neck, fingertips lightly running over the ends of his short hair. “I’m not surprised he misses you. It would be impossible not to miss you,” he murmured. “I know that all sounds wonderful. But I want you to think about something you said. He hardly sends angry messages anymore,” Mateo quoted, pausing to see if Caleb would say anything.

Caleb shook his head.  "I know, I know, it's- God, it's so stupid, I'm such a fucking idiot.  I know he- he mistreated me.  And I still miss him.  How pathetic is that?  I- I used to get so mad at him.  And I miss him anyway, I miss his jokes and- and the stuff we used to talk about, the stupid inside jokes and the way he could be sweet sometimes..."  Caleb covered his face with both hands.  "He wasn't all bad," he insisted.

“You’re not an idiot,” Mateo said firmly, squeezing his neck gently. “You were with him for years. It makes sense that you miss him. But hermanito... you cant keep clinging to what you had. You know now it was unhealthy and not good, and continuing to speak with him might not be the best idea. He doesn’t seem like the type to let go.”

Caleb shook his head again, but not enough to dislodge Mateo's hand.  He didn't want Mateo to stop touching him.   "It's not hurting anyone," he insisted weakly, even though he knew it wasn't a good enough excuse.  He knew he shouldn't be doing it.  Why else would he have hidden it?   "He's been emailing me... since I left.  Once or twice a week.  And I... I didn't say anything back until a few weeks ago, but I just...  I don't know.  I don't know what I was thinking.  I hate that I miss him so much."  He was trembling, trying desperately not to cry in front of Mateo.

“It’s hurting you,” he pointed out quietly. Mateo let out a soft breath, shifting on the couch to be closer to him, his arm sliding more fully around the other man. “Can you explain to me why you answered him the first time?”

Caleb shook his head.  He couldn't explain it.  He didn't know why.  "I just... He... he sounded...  He wasn't angry, but he was upset.  He said he just wanted to know that I was okay.  But... he'd said that before.  Lots of times.  I.. I don't know why it was different.  I just..  Fuck.  Fuck fuck fuck, I'm such an idiot, I'm so sorry.  Please don't tell anyone."

“Caleb. You’re not an idiot,” he said again, his tone a bit more firm this time. “I won’t tell anyone. For now. If I find out this is continuing though, I’m not holding my tongue. You have something beautiful growing with Eric and Maverick. They’re your future, hermanito. I’m not saying you’ll be able to forget the feelings you have for him overnight, but they will fade. I promise.”

Caleb shrank into himself at Mateo's harsher tone.  But he listened, and he nodded, because he knew Mateo was right.  He couldn't keep doing this.  He shouldn't.  But it was so hard.  After a second, Caleb turned towards Mateo, but couldn't bring himself to meet the Dom's eyes.  Instead, he looked down at his own hands in his lap.  "Thank you, Sir.  I... I know I don't deserve to ask for anything right now, but... can.. can you hug me?  Please."

He didn’t reply right off - he just pulled Caleb onto his lap, hugging the switch to his chest. “There is nothing I can think of that would make me think ‘oh my brother definitely doesn’t deserve a hug.’ Well. Murder probably. Making me eat coconut. Conspiring with Nick to drive me batty,” he mused, trying to make Caleb laugh.

Under normal circumstances, Caleb would have laughed at that, but right now he barely managed a weak twitch of a smile.  He leaned into Mateo, laying his head on the Dom's shoulder.  "I'm sorry," he whispered.  "Do I....  do I have to be punished, Sir?"

He slid his hands over Caleb’s back slowly, trying to soothe the switch. “No. You don’t have to be punished for this, hermanito. But if I find out you’re still communicating with him that might change,” he warned.

Caleb nodded, accepting Mateo's decision.  He knew that he'd already asked a lot just getting Mateo agree not to say anything to Eric or Nick, so he had been prepared to accept a punishment without arguing, but he relieved he didn't have to.  "I don't understand what it hurts," he said quietly.  "Just talking to him.  I'm not going back to Texas."

“If Nick or Noah had someone in their lives that hurt them like Mark hurt you, would you want them speaking to that person?” he pointed out, keeping one hand stroking over his back. “He might not be able to physically hurt you, but he can mentally. Having him in your life doesn’t seem healthy at all.”

Caleb sighed softly.  "No, Sir.  I wouldn't want them talking him.  ...But...  I don't know what to do, Sir.  I miss him.  I hate that I miss him so much.  I still care about him.  I hate that he's hurting.  He hasn't.... I've found Eric and Mav, he doesn't have anyone."

“It’s not your responsibility to help him move on. Especially not if it takes a toll on your own mental health. The thing to do is not speak to him. Change your email. Don’t even read his messages. He doesn’t deserve to have you in his life, hermanito,” he said, trying to keep his tone under control but god, he needed Caleb to stop communicating with the bastard who had hurt him so badly.

Caleb shook his head and finally pulled back from Mateo's embrace.  He sat back, putting his hands in his lap and looking down at his knees.  "It doesn't feel right, just cutting him out completely.  But I'll do it, Sir.  I'll block his email address.  I just feel bad about it. I think... I think he didn't realize, a lot of the time, how difficult he was.  Even when he punished me, I think he really thought he was being a good Dominant."

He laid his hand on Caleb’s back again lightly. “That’s not your problem to remediate, hermanito. That’s something he needs to realize on his own.”

"Yes, Sir," Caleb said softly.  He had a sudden desire to go back to his room and be alone, but he couldn't do that.  Not until Thursday.  Which reminded him... "Sorry.  I'm not supposed to be calling you Sir.  I'm sorry, I forgot, I wasn't thinking about the event..."

He squeezed the back of Caleb’s neck lightly. “It’s all right, hermanito. You needed to be back in your role, I completely understand. It’s what makes you feel comfortable after all. And I’m here to serve you and be what you need.”

Caleb nodded but didn't look up, but hearing Mateo say he was here to serve him made his stomach clench uncomfortably.  "Can I-"  He cut himself off after a second thought about the question he was going to ask, and shook his head.  He couldn't ask Mateo to let him be submissive for a while, it defeated the purpose of the event if they just flipped roles just because Caleb felt like it.  Mateo had already given him a reprieve.  The desire to go hide in his room was increasing.

He raised his eyebrows at the cut off question. “Finish your question, please,” he requested gently. Mateo wasn’t about to deny his hermanito much - even if they weren’t in this event, he didn’t think he would be able to.

Caleb shook his head.  "I can't.  I'm supposed to be a Dominant until Thursday I can't just... give up.  I can't ask you to let me.  It's not right.  ...You let me be submissive for a little while, that has to be enough."

Every time Caleb did something like this, he hated Mark a little more for making him think he couldn’t ask for what he needed. Mateo gently took Caleb’s chin in his hand, looking into his eyes. “What do you need, Caleb?”

Caleb looked up at Mateo for a moment, then grimaced and shook his head.  "It's nothing, I'm fine."

His grip on Caleb’s chin tightened. “Caleb. I expect you to answer truthfully. So please try that again.”

Caleb winced both at the tighter grip and the sharper tone.  It was like it went right to the core of him.  It didn't matter that he was supposed to be the Dominant and that he didn't want to ask Mateo to mess up the event, because as soon as Mateo used that voice, the Dom voice, Caleb basically rolled over and showed his belly.  "I was going to ask if I could be submissive to you for a while, Sir," he said, looking chagrined.  "I'm sorry, Sir."

There it was. He leaned in to kiss his forehead, his fingers stroking lightly over Caleb’s chin. “Don’t be sorry for asking for what you need. Why don’t you kneel by me for a while, hermanito? Rest your head on my lap?” He suggested.

Caleb looked pained, and curled in on himself almost imperceptibly.  "I'm not supposed to," he protested weakly.  He wanted it so badly.  He wanted to submit and make everything else go away.  He couldn't handle this.  He couldn't handle the world, or Mark, or any of this, and he just wanted the peace and mental quiet that came from submitting.  But it felt like he was cheating.   It felt like he was being bad, and Caleb couldn't handle that either.  "Are.. are you sure it's okay?  To take a break from the event?"

“You’re supposed to be acting as a Dom with a submissive. To take what you need from that submissive and trust they will do their best to fulfill those needs. That’s exactly what’s going to happen,” he assured him, squeezing the back of his neck again, hoping to comfort him.

Caleb frowned, because he really wasn't sure that that applied to him kneeling for Mateo and very clearly submitting, but he nodded.  He didn't have the mental wherewithal to argue right now.  He slid off the couch and onto his knees, and then shuffled until he was facing Mateo, his hand in his lap and his head bowed.  It felt marginally better.

He sighed mentally in relief when Caleb moved to kneel in front of him. Mateo leaned back against the couch, slowly carding his fingers through the switch’s hair and just letting him relax where he was, hoping this would help.

Caleb leaned his head into Mateo's hand, but otherwise stayed perfectly still, his eyes on the floor.  He was so tense, it was obvious from the way he wasn't even fidgeting like he would have done if he was only nervous.  He knew he needed more than this, but he was so reluctant to ask.  He wasn't even sure what would be okay for him to ask for in this situation.  He felt hamstrung and it was killing him.  "Sir?" he said in a small voice after a few minutes, without looking up.  "Is it okay if I..."  He trailed off and swallowed, then tried again.  "I don't know what it's okay for me to ask for."

Mateo felt a little more at ease himself as he just sat there with Caleb kneeling for him. But he leaned up a bit, looking down at the switch. “You can ask me for anything, hermanito,” he assured him.

Caleb grimaced, because that didn't help him narrow it down, and he really didn't feel like a lot of his normal options were on the table.  "I need to make my brain stop and it won't," he said finally.

This time he couldn’t stop the sigh he let out, running his fingers through Caleb’s hair. “Go into the spare room, take off your shirt and kneel by the bed. I’ll be there in a moment,” he said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Caleb nodded without looking up. "Yes, Sir." He stood and headed to the spare room, where he'd been sleeping, and pulled off his shirt and dropped it on his bag. He knelt on the floor by the bed just as he had in the living room, with his hands in his lap and his head bowed.

He waited until Caleb had moved into the spare room before getting up to retrieve a couple of water bottles from the kitchen, then a thin silk rope from his own room. Mateo sat on the bed, resting a hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “I’m going to tie a harness onto you, hermanito. Then your arms. From there, we’ll see how you feel. Okay?”

Caleb stayed perfectly still, his posture straight and his head bowed, even as Mateo entered the room. "Yes, Sir," he answered softly. "Thank you, Sir." He felt guilty for asking for this when he wasn't supposed to, but so grateful for Mateo's help.

He sent up a hopeful prayer that Sue hadn’t bugged the rooms somehow before kneeling in front of Caleb so he could begin tying the ropes around him, his work steady and methodical, the line of knots perfectly even across Caleb’s chest.

Caleb watched Mateo for a moment, then just closed his eyes. He didn't need to see what was going on. He just needed to stay still until Mateo moved him. The rope was soft against his skin, it had to be silk. It felt really nice. He hadn't had ropes on him in a while. As it started to wrap around him, containing him, he felt himself starting to relax.

He finished off the chest harness easily, then moved behind the other man to start tying his arms. Mateo took his time, lining up the knots perfectly from shoulder to wrist, making sure they were just tight enough so Caleb wouldn’t be able to ignore them.

Caleb kept his eyes closed as Mateo worked, but it was comforting to hear and feel his movement and know that he was close. He let Mateo move and position his arms without any resistance. The ropes were right, certainly tight enough that Caleb couldn't move his arms at all, but they didn't pinch or constrict any vulnerable places. It wasn't a surprise, Mateo was an experienced Dom, of course he knew what he was doing. By the time Mateo finished, Caleb felt far calmer than he had ten minutes ago. He felt safe and contained, and he knew Mateo would stay with him and take care of him.

He stood once he was finished, moving in front of Caleb and running his fingers through his hair. “Feeling better, hermanito?” He asked softly, hoping the bondage itself would help ease Caleb’s anxiety.

Caleb opened his eyes again when Mateo spoke, looking up at his brother in law.  "Yes, Sir," he said softly.  He leaned forward to rest his forehead on Mateo's thigh.  "May I stay like this a while?  If... if you want to sit on the couch or something, I can move, if you help me up... Please?"

"We can certainly do that. I have a couple episodes of Flip or Flop I need to catch up on," he said with a little laugh. Mateo helped Caleb to his feet, leading him out into the main room. He kept a steadying hand on the switch's back as he got back down onto his knees before settling himself next to him on the couch.

Caleb smiled a little at that, and let himself be helped up.  He could probably stand on his own, but it was easier with Mateo steadying him.  He walked back out to the living room, and then knelt next to the couch, again appreciative of Mateo's guiding hand on his skin.  "Thank you, Sir," he murmured as Mateo sat next to him.  Caleb kept his eyes down on the floor, trying to be small and unobtrusive.  He didn't want to be a bother to Mateo, who hadn't signed up for this.

He leaned over to press a kiss to the top of Caleb's head. "I like taking care of people I love, hermanito. You don't have to thank me," he murmured against his hair before sitting up. Mateo flipped the TV on, his free hand moving to run through the switch's hair as the episode played.

Caleb nodded  and tipped his head into Mateo's hand, but didn't otherwise move.  It helped, being bound, because it meant that he couldn't move from where Mateo wished him to be.  He stayed as still as possible, and that helped too.  It eased the whirling in his mind, quieted things down.  He was good.  There was nothing he should be doing.  He was being good.  Worries and fears still flashed through his mind, thoughts of Mark, the messages he'd received, the one he wanted to send but couldn't.  Thoughts of Mateo and how it must be annoying to be saddled with Caleb for a week, when Caleb couldn't even manage to be a Dominant when he'd explicitly agreed to do it.  Some switch he was.  But at least Caleb wasn't panicking.