#i cant keep trying and pouring my heart into people who are just bottomless chalices who take and take and throw me away when theyre done | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

drashleighreid · 5 years ago

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life is so unfair. so ridiculously unfair.

this week has been so hard. moving house really shone a light on how alone i feel here and how non-existent my support network is and i’ve been having a really hard time reconciling that and trying to keep on top of things and then in the middle of that someone who was really important to me said we shouldn’t be friends anymore and unfollowed me on everything and cut off all communication and im just like. why is life and timing like this. like it really just wants to throw you to the rockest of bottom and give you every horrid curveball imaginable

#i was just talking to my brother #and he was telling me about how he's on the same meds im about to start taking #and how theyre gonna make me feel like complete SHIT for like the first month probably #and im like... sick and tight #because its not like i have 5 million things to do #its not like i already feel like i cant cope with anything #like i literally should just have time off to manage this but i just cant #and i cant keep letting people into my life who say that theyll be there for me and then run the second things get mildly difficult #i just cant do it again and again and again #this is just such a tipping point #i literally just want to go lay somewhere dark for like a month and cry until i cant cry anymore and feel nothing #i want to be hospitalised and not have to pay money for it because i need the help and i need the support #but i cant get out of uni and i have responsibilities and i just cant do any of it anymore #i cant keep being so alone i cant keep working and working and working for no reward #i cant keep trying and pouring my heart into people who are just bottomless chalices who take and take and throw me away when theyre done #im just truly on my last shred im at the end im so empty and so tired of being left in the dirt by people who are unaffected #this is so painful and it doesnt feel like its ever going to get better

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