#i cant find my salt pills

[eorziapple]

I want to know a bit of Apple's thoughts about the tribes of eorzea, the Amal'jaa, Ixal, Sahagin, Sylphs, Kobolds, and Goblins! And if you like, the tribes from other lands, such as the moogles, vath, vanu vanu, ananta, kojin, etc.

How does she feel about their treatment by the larger political structures, do any of them make her nervous, are there any in particular she wants to learn more of, and are there any she is extra happy to consider friends?

An interesting question, I suppose I can organize my thoughts by comparing my initial opinions on these peoples to how I feel about them now.

With regards to the Amal'jaa: Initially I considered them to be more of an obstacle than living people, having assumed they were thralls to Ifrit in totality, and the Primal being my first opportunity to investigate the research I had uncovered on summoning. It is difficult to fault the tactics of any peoples pressured by oppression and conflict, but I do not regret the conflict that was necessary in my initial confrontations with the Amal'jaa. They were making slaves of captives and their own people. Of course, having been brought in to learn of their culture, I again find myself swallowing the bitter pill of Ascian interference, how different it all could have been, how much history could have been different between us. That being said, I fear my lack of physical prowess has proven a bit of a detriment to connecting to individuals. I sometimes think they feel sorry for me?

With Regards to the Ixal: My dealings with the Ixal are few, but having plundered the mysteries of Azys Lla I can only sympathize with the Ixal, yet another victim of the Allagan's cruelty. Created an abandoned with little thought, having their own culture, beliefs, and ideas contending with the genetic programming for a purpose that was abandoned long ago.... I believe it will take generations to undo the damage that so many years of conflict have wrot. But the firswt steps are happening, and I have seen firsthand the wonderful dreams the Ixal can partake on their own. I hope to see them all take flight someday.

With Regards to the Kobolds: I dont think any Limsan worth their salt, from the Admiral herself to the lowliest deckhand, could think of our kobold neighbors and not feel deep regret and guilt for what we have done to them. Even before I began to take to the field, reading our history is stuffy classrooms, I was aghast at the cruelty of the Limsans, and looked at the reports of Titan's wrath upon settlers with an appreciation of the tragedy of it all, and how it could have been avoided. Upon meeting everyday Kobolds, I couldn't help but feel for them, so fearful of me, but so curious and energetic when the walls come down. I've made many friends amongs them now, I am happy to say, and they've helped me build some rather impressive artifices!

With Regards to the Sahagin: I find it difficult to regard the Sahagin with the same sympathies as the Kobolds, even knowing the sins of my forefathers in Norvrandt. My understanding is, initially, the Sahagin considered all non-Sahagins as well... essentially fish, and the initial encounters with the sea fairing peoples of Novrandt were particularly bloody as a result. Its going to take as much work from them as it will from us to strengthen this budding peace, and I expect there may be a few splits amongst the Sahagin themselves over it, with possibly many queens emerging with their own clutches and ideals.

Regarding the Sylphs: I cant imagine anyone having a hatred of the Sylphs, violence being almost entirely committed by the Tempered. I can, however, imagine being -frustrated- by the Sylphs, as I am quite frequently, having many of my belongings being pilfered or even -eaten-, even when I came to the area specifically to gather said belongings!

Regarding the Goblins: I love them, even as adversaries? They're just so clever and excitable. I dont think i've ever found a group that understands the joys of creation and experimentation as much as they do, and I found myself making fast friends with most goblins i've met.

[shego1142]

Me: Picks up a can of soup bc I know my blood pressure is dropping and I NeedTheSalt™️

Soup:

Heart Healthy!

Low Sodium!

Me: You are an affront to both God and Satan!

[sanniee]

Kdramas to know me better

I’ve wanted to do this for a very long time and as you all might know (or not) I am a sucker for movies and tv series and stuff so here we are: SOME KOREAN DRAMAS TO KNOW ME BETTER 

Strangers from hell 10/10

We will start with the last kdrama I finished. I couldn’t find anything even closer to this in quality or, at least, themes. It is one of the best I’ve ever saw. The story is fascinating, the acting was... I don’t even know how to describe it in words. I got very attached to it as the first work I’ve read from Kafka was The metamorphosis. I was immersed in the MC’s transformation. I loved the fact that there are no bad nor good characters, but all of them are gray, I loved how not the psycho’s made him go crazy, but his closest frieds. An amazing drama. I could rand about it for hours

One Spring Night 9.7/10

I want to start by saying that I DO NOT WATCH ROMANCE and I hate slowburnt ones when they happen, but this made my heart beat.It is perhaps the most realistic romance out there, it is about two humans, selfish, spiteful, rebel, but jolly, loving, with such pretty souls, just like humans actually are. It is not only a great story about how harsh we judge other people without thinking much, but also a beautiful way of showing that there is someone good for each and every one of us. It is incredbly filmed and every frame is sooo aesthetically pleasing. The dialogue is also great, one of my favorite quotes is from here: 

her: I don't like taking pills

him: I don't like reading either.

her: You must lack in culture

him: You must ne nutrient deficient. (i will always remeber this)

also, ji ho is like the only man i will ever trust. 

My mister 9.5/10 

this, right here, sir, is what made me feel stuff i havent felt in a very long time. Nostalgia, compassion, pity, a way too deep love for a fictional character. I realised that some people’s lives are just like that. And I pass by them on the streets, I may look up to them because they seem so put together, I might look down on them because they look so petty, but you can never know. I love this kdrama from the bottom of my heart, I made me feel so lucky thinking about the life I have. It made me love humans more.The cast was amazing but I dont think I can rewatch it after that one scene in Parasite. Dong Hoonnie hands have been places. (its a joke, take it with a grain of salt) Another one of my favorite quotes is from here:” Live a happy life, that’s how you can repay the people in your life.”

SKY Castle 9.5/10 

Honestly, a masterpiece. Such a mindblowing show. I wanted to write a full review about this but I procrastinated so much, I’d have to rewatch it for me to write it properly because I don’t want to miss a thing. It is very long, longer than most kdramas, but I understood how it broke the ratings. If you loved Bong Joon Ho’s political satires, you should watch this. I couldn’t pick a favorite character, all of them were so amazingly built. I loved how they made it clear that power comes from education AND I COULDNT AGREE TO SOMETHING MORE. They showed how parents mentally abuse their children in order to make them study and loved that they all had different methods. Again, a drama without good or bad characters. All of them are just gray. OH, AND THE OST!! MY GOSH WE ALL LIE IS A GEM!! 

The guest 9.3/10 

My gulty pleasure, hot exorcist priests. Kidding. This is one I’ve finished quite a long time ago and it stuck to me. I used to hate that trope where some kids go through something traumatising and they meet again as adult to overcome it together. But for some reason, I really loved every second of this drama and I’ve been looking for something similar ever since. I think I wrote something about this kdrama before, but I cant say much about it now. It is great if you love a good horror with an actual plot and ZERO ROMANCE. 

ALSO ANOTHER KDRAMA WITH AN OST THATS A W O N D E R. 

Honourable mentions:

Mad Dog 6/10

 School 2013 7/10

 Criminal Minds 7.4/10

[arthurflecksgirl]

Up on stage /Arthurs POV

My version of Arthur stand up comedy scene at Pogos

I`m standing at the corridor at Pogo`s, checking my journal. The dim, green light should calm me down but it doesnt. The guy upstage is telling some lame jokes about sex. People approve.They always do when it comes to jokes about sex. I`m not sure why they do, I barely understand the punshlines myself. But I guess I have to work on that. I barely listen to him because I´m up next and my mind is all over the place, trying to focus on what to do as soon as I pass that doorway, telling myself that I practiced this the best way possible.

My hair looks fine, I wear some decent clothes, put two  sleeping pills in my mothers oath meal. And cologne.The expensive cologne I stole a couple of days ago is for Sophie. She must be sitting in the audience already, waiting to see my show. Thats what makes me most nervous. Everyone`s opinion is important to me but hers hits different. I really want to be that special guy to her. The funny one that makes her laugh on a cloudy day. And it`s cloudy outside. And inside and inside of me. But I bet inside of Sophie the sun never sets. I imagin her at a beach. Sun kissed skin, the smell of salt and the wind in her hair. I`ll play her some songs. taking her hand, walking barefoot through the sand.....Another daydream palying in my head.

I cant wait to see her beautiful eye lightening up, whileshe is laughing at my jokes. She never heard one of my jokes and I`m pretty nervous about it, but I guess thats the whole point.  I gotta get through this to suceed . The funny thing is... I WANT to be onstage.  But at the same time I get so nervous and all sweaty because I want to get it right. I always put pressure on myself when I want to get it right. But I need it to be a perfect experience for everyone in this room. I want them to remember me and go like "Wow, this Artur guy, he really made me laugh. His jokes are the BEST." That would make me proud of mysef.

"I think most woman look at sex like buying a car.You know like, can I see myself in this long term? Is it save? Is it reliable? Could it kill me? "....

I try not to concentrate on the comedians voice. His freaking jokes are distracting me. I don`t think he`s funny at all.

Is my hair still okay? I check it. Ran my fingers through it carefully as I make my way to the doorway and wait for my name to be called. I take a deep breath. Sweaty palms and all. A scratchy feeling in my throath. Calm down Arthur, this is what you want in life. Right? This is your dream. You can make it!

"Alright this next comedian describes himself as a lifelong Gotham resident, who from a young age was always told that his purpose in life was to bring laughter and joy into this cold dark world...."

I notice that he holds in for a second "Um...okay....." .I dont like the sarcastic undertone in his voice. He acts like I made too much of a deal out of this. Like the world isnt even THAT dark. Let me tell you it is. It is for people like me.  Nevermind this guy. I just spotted   Sophie sitting in the back. Beautiful as usual. I wonder if my name is echoing in her head. ARTHUR.

"Please help me welcome Arthur Fleck, Yàll. Arthur Fleck".

Alright. Thats my call. The applouse feels good but bittersweet. Like a summer rain at the end of a hot day.  I wave at Sophie and smile at her. Disctraction. A good one but I stumbe, tryng not to let it show how much this was setting me off.

Smile Artur. Smile. You practiced this a thousand times at home.

I place myself in front of the mircrophone and take a look at the audience. Its my job to make them happy now. They are waiting for me to make them happy. All that weight on my shoulders. But I know I can do this. I`ve got my journal with me and some jokes to tell. I try to breathe but its hard. Like the breath itself got stuck in my throath and transformed into something else. Manifesting into a bundle of fear. My forehead feels hot. I guess its glimmering from sweat. The spotlights will make it show. People will notice how nervous I am. Thats no good. Not at all. But I can do it. and I will. I just have to tell them...

"Hello....."

Fuck! My voice is nothing but a whisper that cracks under the weight that is shadowing my heart. I`m short of air and I know what this means. Its the first sign of the laughter trying to get through. .

Why Arthur? You are where you supposed to be. On stage!”

I`m talking to myself in my head. Which makes it even worse. Having a conversation with myself never managed to calm me down before. Why do I even try? Its hot. Its all so hot. This room, the spotlights, my skin,... And tight. I`m trapped in a little box. This room is the box and my body is another and my mind is another. And my breath is filling all the boxes and it can`t escape. I can`t breathe.

Funny when you think about how much I wanted to be here.

I giggle to myself. Swallow a quiet laugh. My eyes searching for something to focus on.There is nothing. "Hm hm hm hm hm..." I hear myself chuckeling. I havent even said  another word. This is going to be harder than I thought. I try  to hold thats smile. For them. For Sophie. Maybe they all think this is part of my act.

"Hello, good to be here....."

Hearing myself trying to make it though is painful and hilarious at the same time. I feel the pain but this other part of me? Makes nothing but fun of it. Maybe this other part is right after all. Maybe this part is the better comedian. Tragic comedy was always my favorite. Its so close to real life. Whatever that means.

I crack up, turning my back on the audience so  can`t see my face. I dont want them to see my pain. They would be so irritated. Not sure if this works as a part of my act anymore. This has already gone too far.

They`ll think there is something wrong with me. I know it. They now realize. They will think I´m a freak. Proof them wrong, Arthur! You`ve got some jokes in your pocket and they will work so well ! I lean forward, laughing  hard covering my mouth with my hands. This never works. My lungs start to hurt.

C`mon . tell that joke you just figured out. Its a good one. They will love it. And if they`ll love it, they will love you.

"I hated...."  hm uurg... I  need some air.

My heart is pounding  in my chest. I thought I would feel like a big star up on stage but the world gets bigger and I am small. So small. I dissappear for a second and i keep coming back.

I cant keep up with it. My hand grabs my throath . Painful laughter. I close my eyes for a sec, trying to imagin empty seats. Only Sophie being left. Does it help? No. I need my audience. I need people to see me.

The world gets smaller. All the world is being trappeed in this tiney room right now. And I get bigger. I grow out of myself.Like a plant towards the spotlight.

Thinking about Alice in wonderland.

One pill makes you smaller. The other one makes you taller....

A cough.

"I....I hated scool as a kid....." hahahhahahahahah.

Flashbacks torture my mind. My teacher yelling at me to stop laughing. He looks like Hoyt. Me hiding behind the trash cans after scool so the other kids wouldnt find me and call me a freak. My small body filled with tears but not one comes out. Only laughter. Their voices when they found me. "Do you think thats funny, Arthur? Do you really think thats a joke?"

I bury my face in my elbow, hoping the laughter wouldnt be as loud. Trying to avoid standing in front of the mic.

For god`s sake Arthur, just tell your joke.

I stand up straight and look at the people sitting in their seats. I cant really see their faces or reactions. But its quiet. Too quiet. They dont know what to do. Just like me. Just like me. Just like me.  What should I possibly do to save the evening?

"I hated scool as a kid" ...hahaha....

"My mother would say * You should enjoy it. One day you have to work for a living*"

Oh I did a great job imitating her voice. I`m finally on the right path to do this.

"No I won`t Ma. I`m gonna be a comedian"...... hahahahahahahahha.....

..

No laughter? Its so quiet. Too quiet.

I look up to Sophie. She`s smiling and I´m proud of myself.

Time for the next one...

Oh my god.

Whats up next? I can`t remember.

I nervously turn the pages with shaky hands and sweaty palms. All i can find are pornographic cut outs. People notice and the`re laughing. More than they did at my joke. Shit. I dont want this to get out of hands. This was just getting better.

."Um...." I go through some more pages. This is for Sophie. She smiled once and I will make her smile again.

"Here`s one....! You know...I was just thinking the other day: Why are the rich people so confused all the time?"

My journal says POOR people but I dont notice because all I can think of is Sophie.

Rich or poor...poor or rich... Its people in general that doesnt make any sense.

But then suddenly...I do!

I`m starting to make sense right now. Here up on stage with smiling Sophie looking at me with her dark, shiney eyes.

The music starts playing. What a perfect timing.

"Because they dont make any cents!"

I spread my arms and people start laughing.

What a great punchline.

The spotlight kisses me softly.

I killed it tonight.

Finally.

[thisweekingundamwing]

This Week in Gundam Wing 24-30 November 2019

Here’s this week’s roundup!

Remember to give your content creators some love! And join in on the events at the bottom!

(Looking forward to all the Unorthodox Undercover Work Mini Bang entries going up this next week!)

~Mod Hel

Fanfiction/Snippets/AU Ideas:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb​

Encounters with Heero (Ch. 12 & 13) https://archiveofourown.org/works/21385951/chapters/51360610

F/M, Heero Yuy/Reader

Heero Yuy, Reader, Relena Peacecraft, Duo Maxwell, Hilde Schbeiker, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei

Romance, Drama, Fluff, Friendship

This man oozed danger. Nonetheless you are attracted to him and you grow closer to him than anyone has ever before. Being nice to a stranger was what got it all started.

Burn to a Cinder (Ch. 7) https://archiveofourown.org/works/18781273/chapters/51374644

F/M, Zechs Merquise/Reader, Treize Khushrenada/Reader

Zechs Merquise, Treize Khushrenada, Lady Une, Mariemaia Khushrenada, Relena Peacecraft, Chang Wufei

Romance, Drama, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Violence, Reader-Insert

Your path had been laid out for you from an early age, allowing you to move into the higher circles of society and catch the attention of one of the most powerful men in the Earth Sphere. As Treize’s mistress, you watch his rise to power and the disastrous war breaking out on Earth and in Space, putting your loyalty to the test. You are torn between your duty to His Excellency, and your unquellable lust for one of the top soldiers under his command. And when he rises to power in Outer Space, there is nothing you can do but stand back and watch them tear each other apart. This is no game of hearts, but yours is at stake, and the consequences can be felt for years to come. Labeled as OZ’s whore, you struggle to find your way, only for things to fall apart around you again. But then there is still Zechs, and the undeniable way he makes you feel…

@doctormegalomania​

Your Body’s Poetry (Ch. 7) https://archiveofourown.org/works/20438891/chapters/48490382

Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei/Original Female Character(s), Duo Maxwell/Hilde Schbeiker, Relena Peacecraft & Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell/Original Male Character(s)

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei, Sally Po, Relena Peacecraft, Lucrezia Noin, Zechs Merquise, Hilde Schbeiker

Past Relationship(s), Slice of Life, Post-Break Up, Slow Burn, Developing Relationship, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence

Long after the wars, long after peace is established the Gundam Pilots discover one immovable fact: Relationships are hard work.

@duointherain​

The Hidden Cherry (Ch. 1) https://duointherain.tumblr.com/post/189338568519/fic-the-hidden-cherry-1

Intersex Duo, disabled Heero

He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. Duo wanted to think that the stress in his voice made him sound like an asshole and that would motivate the person on the other side of the phone. The space he was in was small, like 3 meters by maybe 5. His cigarette lighter had given him enough light to see the space, but it was back in his pocket now.  “I need an analyst. It’s fucking Wednesday. There is an analyst in the office.”

@janaverse​

Stickies from Heero (Ch. 26) https://archiveofourown.org/works/19796581/chapters/51374212

Chapter 26: ‘circumnavigating the simple truth’ is now on AO3. It was nice to actually get another story written for this odd universe!

Duo reads Heero latest note and fallout ensues.

Rough https://janaverse.tumblr.com/post/189270598643/drabble-day-38-adult-themes-rough-heero-stood

drabble - day 38 - adult themes

Consider it done https://janaverse.tumblr.com/post/187883433878/consider-it-done

So this is the follow up to my short fic ‘something to consider’ which I posted about a week or so ago.  You can find it here:  https://janaverse.tumblr.com/post/187689757828/something-to-consider or here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20669474 in case you have not read it yet. this fic will make infinitely more sense if you have!

pairing: 1X2X1

warnings: unholy amounts of sap and lovey dovey stuff. please take this warning seriously! lol  this is THE sappiest thing i have ever written!

Heero had entered the house first, taking off his soaked shoes and leaving them out on the front porch beside the door. Duo had followed suit, noticeably shivering once inside the house, and headed toward their bedroom to get changed. Heero had only removed his jacket and hung it on the coat rack inside the front door; opting to start a fire before getting out of his wet clothes and into something dry.

@ransomedbard​

Clipped Wings (Ch. 3) https://archiveofourown.org/works/21360976/chapters/51500641

Duo Maxwell, Hilde Schbeiker

Preventer!Duo, Criminal!Hilde, 2+H, Adventure, Kidnapping, mild violence, Crime doesn't actually pay

Time has a funny way of turning history on its head. Two years after the Eve Wars, former rebel Duo Maxwell is now a member of the secretive anti-terrorism unit Preventers, while Hilde has been living on the wrong side of the law on Earth. When he makes a visit to attempt to salvage their strained friendship, he’ll uncover just how much their paths have diverged, and end up getting caught up in her life on the run from a gang that wants revenge.

Fanart/Gunpla/Photo Manips:

@animethingsandstuff​

https://animethingsandstuff.tumblr.com/post/189231234100/w-night-by-%E3%82%80%E3%81%86%E3%81%9F%E3%82%8D-posted-with-permission-please

The G-boys and posing... and flowers.

Photosets/Gifsets/Screenshots/Manga Pages:

@vegalume​

https://vegalume.tumblr.com/post/189361489995/i-immediately-thought-of-heero-but-this-could-be

Before leaving the house, Heero does...

Fandom Discourse:

@amberlyinviolet

https://janaverse.tumblr.com/post/189290275628/i-am-here-for-the-giving-of-the-happily-ever-after

@noirangetrois​, @janaverse​

About the struggles of all GW characters.

@incorrectgundamwingquotes​

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189326495789/unpopular-opinion-despite-the-horrible

Unpopular Opinion: FT had good points.

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189326409984/for-unpopular-opinion-not-on-the-series-itself

Unpopular Opinion: 1X2 is overrated.

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189326308699/i-dont-know-if-this-is-actually-an-unpopular

Unpopular Opinion: EW was not that great.

@lifeaftermeteor​

https://lifeaftermeteor.tumblr.com/post/189380639699/life-after-meteor

LAM has a website now!

@ransomedbard​

https://ransomedbard.tumblr.com/post/189357520583/thank-you

Fandom loves you too!

@terrablaze514​

https://terrablaze514.tumblr.com/post/189258275567/wing-zero-episodes

Wing Zero Episodes (Who flew it better?)

My opinions on Wing Zero and the impact it plays. Borderline meta I guess, and excuse the occurrence of Trowa and Zechs muses.

Quotes:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes​

https://gwminorcharactersrpblog.tumblr.com/post/189313789527/quatre-why-is-your-back-all-scratched-up-trowa

Quatre & Trowa

With additions made by @gwminorcharactersrpblog​

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189293229002/texting-duo-hello-duo-are-you

Duo & Trowa

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189298062910/quatre-you-should-be-nicer-to-people-heero

Quatre, Heero, Duo, Trowa, & WuFei

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189326315129/zechs-you-played-me-like-a-fiddle-duo-oh-no-i

Zechs & Duo

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189333739266/duo-whyre-you-ignoring-relena-heero-im

Duo, Heero, & WuFei

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189338458478/trowa-handing-duo-some-pills-here-take-four-of

Trowa & Duo

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189342871815/heero-ill-worry-about-that-bridge-when-i-get-to

Heero & Quatre

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189358288319/heero-dont-correct-me-wufei-dont-be-wrong

Heero & WuFei

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189397723234/duo-uh-its-salt-wufei-thats-what-i

Duo & WuFei

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189377500808/une-about-mariemaia-you-cant-give-her-that

Une & WuFei

Calendar Events:

@gundamzine​

Rhythm Generation: Shooting Stars, Celebrating 25 Years of Gundam Wing

Zine Content https://gundamzine.tumblr.com/post/186791784139/rhythm-generation-shooting-stars-is-an-unofficial

Pre-orders Open! https://gundamzine.tumblr.com/post/189370843928/gundamzine-pre-orders-are-open-rhythm Open until January 11th!

Q about Free Merch https://gundamzine.tumblr.com/post/189215831466/are-you-really-giving-free-merch-i-am-kinda

@gundam-wing-bingo​

Gundam Wing Bingo is here!

Come and sign up for a card here: https://gundam-wing-bingo.tumblr.com/post/185466400076/gundam-wing-bingo

@gwcocktailfriday​

Cocktail Fridays!

Post responses on Friday, during Happy Hour between 3 & 5 pm in your own timezone.

Here’s the prompt for Friday, December 6th! https://gwcocktailfriday.tumblr.com/post/189390586070/cocktail-friday-post-responses-on-friday-december

For those going to Pillowfort, find us here.

If anyone has ideas for prompts, PLEASE send them in! Our ask box is always open.

In need of Winter prompts!

@thisweekingundamevents​

Gundam Wing Holiday Gift Exchange 2019/2020

https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/188113410410/holiday-gift-exchange

Schedule: 5-11 January: Post your Gifts!

Holiday Exchange Q & A: https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/188824081840/some-holiday-exchange-q-a

Criteria and Schedule Reminder! https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/188943007445/holiday-gift-exchange-reminder

Gundam Wing Unorthodox Undercover Work Mini Bang

Posting starts today!

Here’s everything you need to know to post! https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/189346329635/gw-uuw-mb-posting-again-lol

For those artists who haven’t a story, if you finished your piece, feel free to post it up on tumblr. Remember to tag us and I’ll get you in the End of Event Roundup anyway! ^_^

Posting Dates: https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/189405682420/posting-dates-gwuuwmb

Note! There is also a Gundam Wing Discord Meet-up going on right now! See @lifeaftermeteor​ for details and a discord invite if you aren’t in it already!

[stonerbella]

If smeyer weren't a Mormon and the vampires could do drugs who would do what? Like my hc is that Emmett is definitely the dude bro chugging beers and railing coke at frat parties. He's real popular in college. And I think Jasper would like Molly bc it does funny things to his empathy powers. If Jasper is rolling then so is everyone else in the house.

First off I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. You gave me such good jumping off points I love this head canon so much. Okay okay here it goes:

Emmett- absolutely chugging beers even though his body can’t really handle it. He does so much fucking cocaine that it scares people sometimes. He just laughs it off and blames it on his tolerance. Lately he’s been into research chemicals, bath salts, etc. Anything ridiculous thing that usually would kill humans he wants to try. After a few hundred years, Bella joins in as well. They can frequently be found getting high on bath salts and throwing each other off of cliffs. 

Jasper- You’re totally right about this also. Jasper LOVES to roll. Edward can’t stand it because it fucks with him too much. He’ll usually get all depressed and run off somewhere till Jasper is done. 

Alice- I didn’t really know what I thought about Alice, but now that you mention that Jasper is into molly, I think I’m gonna go with my previous anon’s idea and say she’s an acidhead. After a few years Jasper and Alice decide to try each other’s drug of choice and end up candy flipping (acid+molly). Emmett joins in a few times too.

Bella- Bella is Stoner Bella for ever and ever, but like I said after a while a being a vampire she and Emmett become obsessed with finding the newest, latest, and most dangerous drug. They think it’s hilarious. Everyone else is not as pleased. 

Carlisle and Esme- grouping them together because I don’t think they do many drugs. They sometimes go to Isle Esme and smoke like A BOWL and get blasted and giggly and make out a lot. They usually cant afford to be under the influence because their kids are such idiots that they need constant supervision. That being said Esme LOVES CBD. She’s obsessed. She’ll walk around and be like “Oh do you want some CBD in that cup of blood?” and she gets so excited to show Bella her vape. She’s like “Bella! Look at my vaporizer pen! It has CBD in it! Just like yours!”. Bella decides not to burst her bubble and continues hitting her like 99% THC pen.  

Rosalie- Rosalie isn’t one for doing many drugs. She’s kinda classy that way. That being said she will never say no to a good Xanax and a warm blanket by the fireplace. She’s kinda a prescription pill bitch but we love her for it. One or two times she’ll go along with Emmett and Bella’s less dangerous adventures just to see them smile. She’d do anything to see those two smile. 

Oh and Edward does literally nothing because he can’t stand the feeling of not being in control. 

[linisen]

How about #22 did you just hiss with Yurio and Yuuri friendship?

Yuuri & Yuri friendship 22. “Did you just hiss at me?”

A few years ahead where Yuri is old enough to drink.

___________________________________________________________________

Light bursts into the room as someone pulls open the curtains in front of the windows, letting the bright morning light in. Yuri screams as he hides under the covers, headache increasing tenfold by the light. His mouth feels dry and his lips chapped, his body sicky as it catches against the sheats. His hair feels more like a crows nest than the usual locks falling around his face but he dosent care. He’s hungover and miserable.

He didn’t make a single jump yesterday, not even dubbles. He haven’t fumbled dubbles since he was like five. This late growth spurt is putting a serious dent in his confidence and his work out time. He needs to focus on worlds, perfecting his short program and expanding his quads. He doesn not need to fumble doubles.

After practice Yakov had just grumbled and sent him home, bruised and so angry. Not having the patience to deal with himself and his failure he had snagged his wallet and headed straight to the club two blocks away. He had chugged down as many shots he had been able too before the ache in his chest had lifted and then he had danced and drunken some more and then ist kind of a blank. Apparently he made it back to the apartment in one piece so it can’t have been too bad, except the exploding headache.

“Come on Yura, sit up.” Yuuri’s honey sweet voice comes thru, muffled by the cover he’s pulled over his head. Shit. Why did they have to send Yuuri. It would have been better if it had been Yakov, or Victor or Mila. Any of those he would happily have torn apart and thrown out with their heads first. But for as much bite he is towards his name sake, he could never be as vicious  to Yuuri as the others. Crap.

“No.” He grumbles under the covers, pulling his knees up towards his chest. His shins ache, growing pains the physical therapist said. Crappy body betraying him like this.

“I’ve bought hot chocolate and fries.” Yuuri says, tugging at the covers. Something lands on Yuri’s cover clad form, four paws treading along his back before a soft meeow can be heard.

“Hi Potya.” Yuuri coos and potya starts to purr loudly, probably getting pets by the other skater. With a grumble Yuri pushes himself in to a sitting position, covers pooling around his waist. The light burns at his eyes as he squints, trying to blink away the headache. It works like shit.

“Do you want an aspirin?” Yuuri ask, holding out a pill and a cup of something. The thought of swallowing anything sends a shiver down Yuri’s spine and an in human sound leaves his throat. Yuuri arches an eyebrow at him, small smile tugging at his lip.

“Did you just hiss at me?” He asks, sounding far to fucking amused. “Are you turning into a cat?”

“Shut up.” Yuri shoots back, still watching the pill. He really doesn’t wanna take it for the risk of vomiting but he needs something to sooth the pounding in his head. He slowly reaches out and grabs the offered cup and pill, swallowing it. The hot cocoa is sweet and it soothes his stomach. Yuuri holds out the fires again.

“Itsn not on the diet plan.” Yuri mumbles and Yuuri rolls his eyes.

“Eat.” Yuuri orders, handing over a bag of fatty fires. It feels like a horrible idea but as soon as he’s put one in his mouth he cant stop shoving them in, the salt and fat tasting like heaven.

“Why are you here?” Yuri grumbles.

“You called last night, drunk out of your mind and couldn’t find your way home.” Yuuri says as he rises, picking up Potya who’s stroking around his legs, asking for cuddles. Yuri groans again. Typical. He always got way to needy when drunk.

“Where is the idiot?” He asks. He has no patience for Victor right now.

“I want allowed to bring him.” Yuuri says, amused. His face then turns tender and shit, here it comes. “What wrong Yura?”

“Nothings fucking wrong!” He spits. Yuuri doesn’t even flinch anymore, far to use to Yuri’s outbursts. It makes Yuri’s heart clench a little.

“I just. I can’t even land fucking dubbles and worlds is coming up and it’s like my body’s working against me and I don’t know what to do!” A ragged sob rips thus his chest and he wipes furiously at the tears. Suddenly, warm arms wrap around him, holding him tight.

“Im sorry. It sucks.” Yuuri agrees as Yuri’s tears increase, snot coming out of his nose creating a wet mess on Yuuri’s shirt.

“You wanna skate it away?” Yuuri asks when Yuri’s sobs starts to calm down.

“Why? So I can fall on my ass?” Yuri asks, detangling himself from Yuuri and wiping his nose.

“No, we can practice the other stuff. Spins and steps.”“I can’t win with spins, steps and doubles Katsudon. “ Yuri grumbles without bite.

“I don’t know. Wouldn’t it be cool if you did? Show the entire world you don’t need jumps to be the best?”

It’s completely insane, and undoable. But the comforting smile from his friends makes Yuri’s heart lighten as he wipes his nose one last time before tetangeling his legs from the sheets.

“Yeah. It would be cool.”

[buggyrpt]

i am so much happier now that im dead. technically missing. soon to be presumed dead. gone. and my lazy lying cheating oblivious husband will go to prison for my murder. nick dunne took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money. he took and took from me until i no longer existed. thats murder. let the punishment fit the crime. to stage a convincing murder you need discipline. you befriend a local idiot. harvest the details of her humdrum life and cram her with stories about your husbands violent temper. secretly create some money problems. credit cards, perhaps online gambling. with the help of the unwitting bump up your life insurance. purchase getaway car. craigslist. generic. cheap. pay cash. you need to package yourself so that people will truly mourn your loss. and america loves pregnant women. as if it's so hard to spread your legs. you know whats hard? faking a pregnancy. first train your toilet. invite pregnant idiot into your home and ply her with lemonade. steal pregnant idiot's urine. viola. a pregnancy is now part of your legal medical record. happy anniversary. wait for your clueless husband to start his day. off he goes. and the clock is ticking. meticulously stage your crime scene. with just enough mistakes to raise the specter of doubt. you need to bleed. a lot. a lot a lot. a head wound kind of bleed. a crime scene kind of bleed. you need to clean. poorly. like he would. clean and bleed. bleed and clean. and leave a little something behind. a fire in july? and because you're you you don't stop there. you need a diary. minimum 300 entries on the nick and amy story. start with the fairy tale early days. those are true and crucial. you want nick and amy to be likeable. after that you invent. the spending the abuse the fear the threat of violence. and nick thought he was the writer. burn it just the right amount. make sure the cops will find it. finally honor tradition with a very special treasure hunt. and if i get everything right the world will hate nick for killing his beautiful pregnant wife. and after all the outrage when im ready i'll go out on the water with a pocketful of pills and a handful of stones. and when they find my body they'll know. nick dunne dumped his beloved like garbage. and she floated down past all the other abused unwanted inconvenient women. then nick will die too. nick and amy will be gone. but then we never really existed. nick loved a girl i was pretending to be. cool girl. men always use that dont they? as their defining compliment. she's a cool girl. cool girl is hot cool girl is game cool girl is fun. cool girl never gets angry at her man. she only smiles in a chagrinned loving manner and then presents her mouth for fucking. she likes what he likes. so evidently hes a vinyl hipster who loves fetish manga. if he likes girls gone wild shes a mall babe who talks football and endures buffalo wings at hooters. when i met nick dunne knew he wanted cool girl. and for him i'll admit i was willing to try. i wax stripped my pussy raw. i drank canned beer and watched adam sandler movies. i ate cold pizza and remained a size 2. i blew him. semi regularly. i lived in the moment. i was fucking game. i cant say i didnt enjoy some of it. nick teased out of me things i didnt know existed. a lightness a humor an ease. but i made him smarter. sharper. i inspired him to rise to my level. i forged the man of my dreams. we were happy pretending to be other people. we were the happiest couple i knew. and whats the point of being together if you're not the happiest. but nick got lazy. he became someone i did not agree to marry. he actually expected me to love him unconditionally. then he dragged me. penniless. to the navel of this great country. and found himself a newer younger bouncier cool girl. you think id let him destroy me and end up happier than ever? no fucking way. he doesn't get to win. my cute charming salt of the earth missouri guy. he needed to learn. grown ups work for things. grown ups pay. grown ups suffer consequences.

[kaleid-tay-scope]

im sorry if this sounds gross but i have cramps so bad. no meds seem to work at all and its so horrible that i vomit and cant walk. doctor says its normal. i dont know what to do anymore i'm in so much pain :(

1. It is NOT gross! 2. I am so sorry!!!! 😩💔 3. It is NOT normal!!!

Get a new gynecologist. You could have endometriosis or polycystic ovarian syndrome, or be prone to ovarian cysts. “Typical” cramps are not so painful they induce vomiting or passing out, agony, etc.

You definitely want to get a second opinion and if your doctor hasn’t ordered an abdominal ultrasound at the very least, you should really be having a vaginal ultrasound, then they are not doing their job!

Even if they find nothing there are options to help you manage your cycles like through the birth control pill. For now, I recommend a heating pad. Definitely try to take a warm bath and be good to yourself. Lay off overdoing salt and definitely hydrate. ❤️

Also there’s over the counter medicine like Aleve (naproxin- get the generic) that I would recommend. Also Salonpas makes a roll-on that has lidocaine and pain reliever. It can be used on your lower back and your lower abdomen for pain relief as well.

I hope your cramps go away, sweetie. ❤️ Please let me know if you have any questions or if you want to talk my messages are open for you. 😘

((((Gentle hugs and love))))

[frankensteindotpdf]

All of them

FUCK I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA DO THIS CRAP AHHH

Who’s your crush/squish?

I......tend to have a couple at a time (go unreciprocation whoop whoop) anyhoo the main one is this girl who is SUPER CUTE AND HAS THE CUTEST LAUGH AND IS LOWKEY EMO AND JUST BRILLIANT TBH and fun fact she’s the one who made me realise I’m bi! annnnd there’s a guy....who I just realised I have a crush on....like yesterday....and I’m dying a little

Who’s your fictional crush/squish?

Hahahahahahaha that talks like there’s one.....Remus obviously...Tonks....Dean Winchester...Jughead .....Rapunzel.....Duke Crocker from Haven (holy crap bro).....I used to have a crush on Klaus Baudelaire and also Yo-Yoji (shut up Carina)..... massive squish on Sherlock Holmes....and more I’m forgetting

Worst joke you’ve ever told?

Crap bro my life is full of stupid jokes I can’t choose one

Worst insult you’ve ever given?

Just really dumb ones, nothing specific

Got any weird kinks?

not any weird ones

How did you find out about sex?

No idea, probably like parents or sex ed classes? I don’t remember

Trashiest thing in your wardrobe?

Literally none? I mean I have trash like a billion HP t shirts but nothing revealing or anything

Worst Phobia?

Needles. I literally cry everytime. 

Hentai or the real thing?

Ew neither thanks

Ever been arrested?

lol i never go outside no

What are you most selfish about?

This question is worded weird....uh my..sketchbooks? maybe? like I don’t really get the q but I never let anyone draw in my sketchbooks so ig that counts?

Who would you let die if given the chance to save them?

Myself

Who would you sacrifice yourself for?

Anyone

Something silly you believed as a kid?

Well I didn’t think “washcloth” was a real term, for some reason (I have literally no idea why) I thought it was just a word my family used but they were really called something else. I mean washcloth is so... on the nose

Weirdest/most embarassing thing you’ve drawn?

I once.....drew a picture....of my crush.....with a stupid nickname above it....and little hearts....and little pics of the stuff he liked.... UGH I CRINGE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT I WAS IN GRADE 2 DONT JUDGE ME

Controversial role models?

I can’t think of any? 

Cringiest fandom you’ve been in?

for like A MONTH I was into... Justin Bieber.

Cringiest thing you’ve shipped?

Trans Gilderoy Lockhart and Snape

Ever had “an accident” in public?

I mean when I was real little I did once after school but like no one was there besides my family so it wasn’t a big deal

What helps you fall asleep?

Honestly watching Bob Ross. He’s just so soothing

What childish things do you still do?

I dunno man...Lots I just can’t think of anything specific

What’s your age?

A HEATHERS SONG AND THE YEAR A WIZARD COMES OF AGE

Grossest thing you’ve eaten?

Some people would say crickets (they tasted great though) I would personally say (not eating but) gargling salt water. I literally threw up. Thanks, father.

Honest opinion on religion?

I definitely like the idea and totally respect other’s beliefs, but I’m still working it out. I mean I know mine pretty darn well but the more I learn the more it just sounds really convienient idk

What does your laugh sound like?

From being told to shut up so much it’s changed a lot....It’s kinda squeaky but mostly silent? I’m a bit self concious about it tbh

How would you describe your smile?

stupid. it scrunches up my face all wrong and makes me look even fatter than I already do

Did you go through any regrettable phases?

“Liking” music everyone else liked to fit in

Ever dropped plans/projects and not said a word?

Not one-on-one stuff (though social anxiety makes me want to every time) but like I guess? nothing noteworthy

Intovert/Extrovert?

INTROVERT

Personality Type?

INFP

Ugliest thing in your wardrobe?

I have this nightgown that I never wear that looks like something out of an 1800s movie...floral pattern and all

Would you wear pajama’s in public?

If I was with friends who were 

Weirdest thing that turned you on?

uhhhh I have no idea 

Pineapples on pizza????

hecc yes

Do you use the XD emoticon?

Only in an ironic way

Do you have a dark sense of humour?

yup

Worst thing you ship?

Ms. Frizzle and Brendon Urie

Top or bottom?

Oh I cant believe I’m answering this on the internet gosh well from my personality I’d say...bottom 

Top or bottom bunk?

Also bottom because I feel like I’ll fall off or break the top bunk

Pettiest thing you’ve cried over?

Dude I cry over everything...My sister said she’d rip one of my books

Pettiest thing you’ve gotten mad over?

Bro again like I usually get upset at myself rather than mad at other people but like at my family basically everything?

Longest time you’ve cried?

lol well multiple times I’ve cried for a few hours straight, I cried through an entire movie once (I’m not evenexaggerating I had to pause it because I was sobbing too hard literally 5 times)

Do you touch the art in museums?

NO THAT CAN WRECK IT AND I COULD GET IN TROUBLE

Do you have a fandom OC?

Kinda? I mean just self-inserts tbh

How much do you believe in astrology?

not at all

Have you ever used a base for drawing?

I mean I’ve copied them down but not traced

Have you ever used MSPaint for drawing non-ironically?

yup. there was a time when I had a laptop and sucked at drawing so when I got bored I’d draw on MSPaint

Controversial opinion?

I’m a feminist and I think everyone should be

Ass or chest?

I hate answering this I’m just gonna do it quickly and get it over with female ass, male chest

Chest or genitals?

chest

Genitals or ass?

I HATE THESE I HAVE NO IDEA OK

Any scars?

Yup. I have one on my arm from burning myself while baking in grade 8, and two others on the inside (of the same arm haha) that are from somehow managing to hit my arm off a staple sticking out of an old recliner

Do you pirate anything?

Only music for animatics, but even then only songs I’ve already bought but cant transfer. I don’t see the point. The artists I like I don’t just like for their music (or movies or whatever), I like them as people too. I want to thank them for making such awesome stuff, so a little donation is totally reasonable to me

url for an old cringy social media account?

I mean this one? I wasnt allowed to have social media when I was younger so yay none of that

Any post’s you’ve deleted and why?

Only ones I accidentally reblogged onto my art blog, but I always reblog them onto my main first

How long does it take you to get up in the morning?

depends. if I have nothing to do, hours. If I have school, anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour (I set my alarm real early)

What will instantly turn you on?

idk man nothing really...someone being good with kids is always sweet tho

Fave eye+hair colour combination?

Nothing specific, I like basically all colours?

Have you already named your future children?

If I have any they will be named after someone in one of my billions of fandoms (probably someone from hp)

Do you do drugs?

Just Ibuprofen amirite lol even then I am in pain way more than I take it I hate swallowing pills

How tall are you?

about 5′5 or 5′6

Did you go through a “RANDOM XD” phase?

yup

Dumbest thing you believed?

No idea, probably something from when I was little but idk

Dildo of choice? (besides an actual dildo)

boi i’m not even coming near this question (get it?)

Daddy kink?

I mean I find it hot when some people say it? but not really

Who could change your sexuality just by looking at you?

I’m...bi....so like.....no one? I’m confused mate there’s no way to answer this question

Bara/Yaoi/Shota?

none tbh i dont even know what 2/3 of those mean

What area’s of your body are most sensitive?

besides the obvious my knees, stomach, back, neck....okay everything I just hate people touching me thanks oh and my feet oh gosh I got a pedicure once and it was the worst experience of my life

Weirdest dream you’ve had?

A bunch man, once I had a dream where Peeta was transformed by the Capitol or smth to look like one of my friends and he was also heavily drugged and at my school for some reason and I was trying to help him get to safety....I had a dream where my family and I lived in a trailer park and our neighbour had a big dog that attacked my little brother, first by biting and then picking up a stick with its paws and beating him with it....one where my friend tried to touch my stomach and i panicked, punched him in the face, and then had a panic attack because I felt so bad

THANK GOSH THAT’S OVER

[easilyabandonedgirl]

You weren't ready to talk about it, but this is all you'll ever get.

Here's my truth.

I would say in fairly confident I got pregnant on the birthday. It could have been the next 2 days after, but I'm sure it was the night of my birthday.

Yes, I was on birth control pills. I took them every day, on time, like clock work. No, I did not miss a pill or take one late. But there is apparently something about you and I that makes the universe not care if I'm on birth control. Even though we did go almost a whole year without getting pregnant between Persephone and Lillith. April 2018 to March 2019.

Lillith was the reason I had an IUD put in. After receiving a less than enthusiastic reaction from you at the very thought of a baby, I told myself that if this pregnancy didn't last, I would go to a more permanent form of birth control. You made it very clear that giving me a baby was no longer something you were willing to do and I understood that the best I could. My Dr still didnt want to tie or seal my tubes, and I'm kind of thankful for that. So we agreed on a very long term IUD. So now I have a paraguard IUD in and I've had it since April 23, 2019. I can have it removed at any time if babies are in the plans, but I have to have it removed no later than April 20, 2029.

Anyway, when I started dropping hints that I was dreaming about babies and other people were dreaming about me having babies (which is 100% true), I didnt know I was pregnant. So the first couple of days when I said that I wasnt pregnant, I didnt know I was then. I found out a couple days later. I know I pushed a little too hard on the subject and thats what drove you away. But I wanted to know that you would be there for me, at least emotionally. And when you stopped replying to texts or answering calls or calling me back, I panicked. Wholeheartedly freaked me out. When I said that you mean more to me than anyone, even a baby, I meant that.

A couple weeks went by and things were pretty much back to normal with us. I was still holding on to this tremendous secret and I honestly, didnt know what I was going to do. I knew I had time to think about it still, but I didnt want you to freak out and reject me and our baby if I told you the truth. Not that I thought that was what you would do, but I was scared to even risk it. I wasnt willing to take the chance of finding out how you would react at the time. I was terrified of everything.

So I woke up the morning of a March 27th and told myself that I was going to tell you, to your face and accept whatever happened after that. You had already told me the night before you were going to come see me that day after work. I was so ready to butter you up with kisses and blowjobs and pizza and backrubs and shower time and just being the most overly affectionate human being ever. Do you remember what happened the day of the 27th?

You called me when you got out of work to tell me your were leaving. You cancelled coming over to see me, you hung up the phone on me and refused to do anything but text me. I didnt know what to do. I finally built the nerve to sit you down, face to face, and tell you the truth, accepting whatever reaction you were going to have as my fate. Then you cancelled our night together and I took it as a sign from the universe to keep my mouth shut. So I did. I kept silent.

A few days go by and I'm about a month pregnant when I start getting so fucking nauseous that I cant do anything without throwing up. I tried to hide the pain in my body with other things, I blamed being sick on anxiety (though my anxiety was outrageous, it was only 10% of why I was throwing up all day.) I couldnt eat, couldnt sleep, couldnt shower without puking my brains out. It was horrible and I'm certain my anxiety made it worse. I tried hard not to think about you leaving or about keeping this secret from you.

There were moments, so many moments, I caught my subconscious mind sending you signals. We would be laid down and my hand would put your hand on my belly without me even thinking about it. I was asking for belly rubs and back rubs and asking you to rub my feet because everything hurt so bad. There were a few moments I thought you knew or that you were wondering. One of them was the first time we had sex after I hit 4 weeks and my body starting becoming overly sensitive. I didnt notice it the first time, but as I had 8, 9, 10, 11 screaming orgasms, I thought to "Holy shit. He's going to know if I keep this up. Hes going to ask."

The next 5 or 6 times we had sex, I tried so hard to keep quiet. To keep my screaming to every 3rd orgasm. We have great sex and it's not unusual for you to make me cum 2 or 3 times. So I told myself if I only scream every 3rd or 4th time, you wouldnt become suspicious. So that's what I did.

The last week we were together, before you left, we had two rounds back to back where it was just unreal. In total I remember something like 18 or 19 orgasms. I laid beside you and you looked at me and I remember it just being such a different look on your face. I was like, "fucking fuck I'm fucking busted as fuck. Hes fucking going to fucking ask. Fuck it. If he asks, tell him the truth." But you never asked. You just closed your eyes and even when I asked, "are you thinking about something?" You said, "just about how tired I am." And I subconsciously placed your hand on my belly and we took a nap.

Now you're probably going to hate me in a thousand different ways for this, but it's the truth. When you didnt come over the Tuesday before you were leaving, I told myself I needed to make a choice. Your stuff was packed. You were leaving and there was nothing I could say or do to stop you. I wanted our baby but I wanted you more and I thought if I kept her, you would exile me. So I called and set an appointment to have an abortion. It was one of the most horrific feelings I've ever had during a phone call. My appointment was set for April 23rd at 8am. At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do. So I started drinking, heavy and fast. I wanted to numb myself. The one thing I said I was never going to do again in my whole life, I now had to do. It was emotionally tormenting to say the least. I had convinced myself that no matter what I did, you were going to hate me regardless.

So I drank. And for 3 days it was all I did. It makes me a horrible person and makes me sick to stomach just thinking about it. I hate every inch of who I am because of it. I deserve to burn in hell fire for all eternity for what I did. Theres no excuse for it and you're welcome to judge and hate me, but you should know it will never surmount how much I judge and hate myself for what I did. The drinking started causing complications. That's why I was suddenly in enormous amounts of excruciating pain. My uterus started contracting and I knew I was going to miscarry. I could feel it happening all over again. The same exact lain I have become so accustom to.

I begged to Gods to keep me together until you left. Just two more days. They were kind enough to give me that. I didnt want there to be any conflict between us with you so close to leaving to the other side of the country. So close to your birthday. So I kept my mouth shut and tried to keep things as normal between us as I could. I wasnt going to be the reason to made any big life decisions. I wasnt important enough for that, nothing about me was that important.

The morning of you leaving came. When I first got our of my car at Mugu Rock, I saw your face and I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you everything. All of it. Beg you on my knees and plead with the Gods to make you stay. Right there in the gravel, in front of anyone and everyone. I didnt care about anything but not losing you. We sat on the rocks at the beach and stared off into the deep waters, across the horizon. While you were taking mental pictures of everything around you but me, I couldn't focus on anything but you. Memorizing the way your hands felt against mine. I fought hard to memorize every inch of your handsome face, every inch of your body, to count the gold flakes in your eyes and the green speckles. One by one.

You squeezed my hand and it made me want to tell you everything. I was just going to blurt it out and let it be what it was, whatever that was suppose to be. But I turned my head and saw a tear fall down your face. I heard you sniffle and I could feel all your pain and the heartbreak you had. There was no way in hell I was going to add to that. I knew in that moment that I had to keep my secret. I couldnt bare to watch the strongest man I know break down and dare to be the little cunt who adds salt to your already open wounds. I couldnt do it, there was no sound coming from my mouth when I opened it. I wiped the tears from your face and suddenly had no urge to say a word.

I lost Lillith on April 18. I never made it to the clinic. I already hate myself and know it was my fault. 100% my fault. I was drinking for a few days. I wasnt eating, wasnt sleeping, no water. Nothing. I laid in bed after you left and pretty much wished to die every single day for weeks. I laid in bed, that was it. I distinctly recall there being two days I didnt even get up to pee. I let my body suffer because I genuinely wanted to rot into a corpse. I had pain in every inch of everything. When I lost her, I didnt go to the ER, I didnt see my Dr. I just laid there hoping it would kill me. I saw my Dr on April 23rd. He confirmed my miscarriage and told me I looked like shit. He was right.

He did blood work, ran tests. The typical stuff. That's when we found our my kindneys were so dehydrated that they were failing. That's why my apartment fell into such disarray. I was really hoping the whole thing would just kill me. And I kept up my facade with you every day. Keeping to conversation turned on you, and how you were doing so I could avoid talking about me.

I didnt want to tell you I lost her. I told myself there was no point because what was done, was done. There was nothing I could say to you or do to bring her back. So there was no reason in my mind, at the time, to tell you.

And that's the whole truth. Start to finish.

I'm positive you're going to hate me, think I'm vile and foul. You're right. 100% accurate. And I know my sorry wont count at all after everything I did. But I am wholeheartedly sorry. I know I handled everything wrong. All of it. I know in my heart you would have never hated me or left me for dead back then. But I was so scared. I let my anxiety and fear run the show and it cost me everything.

[callmemoonlight123]

Thank you for tagging me @sensaxtional ❤❤❤❤

1. What’s your nickname? Kels or Nicole

2. When is your birthday? June 11

3. What’s your favorite time of year? Definitely winter. I love the cold weather.

4. What’s your favorite candy? Rolos or twizzlers. Honestly I love all types of candy.

5. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas. Christmas lights make me so happy

6. What’s your favorite word/phrase? I always find myself saying Boujee or Otay 😂😂

7. If you read, who’s your favorite author? Omg I love so manyyy

8. What’s your favorite book? All of the Harry Potter Books. Alex, Approximately by Jenn Bennett. Artemis Fowl. Midnight Sun. The Testing.

9. What’s your go-to happy song? She looks so perfect - 5sos or I want it that way - Backstreet Boys

10. Finally, what’s a random fact I don’t know about you? I cant swallow pills. And I have a freckle right between my ring finger and my middle finger.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Tagging: @blue-da-ba-dee @salted-caramel-tea @ilovebeingintroverted @reyreysistance @timelordy-fangirl2

I WANNA KNOW YOU BETTER- TAG GAME

Thanks for the tag @irrelevantwriter ❤

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

1. What’s your nickname?

Letsby, Pepsi, Victorious

2. When is your birthday?

6th October - it’s a Libran ting 

3. What’s your favorite time of year?

September - December.  

4. What’s your favorite candy?

Haribo

5. What’s your favorite holiday?

CHRISTMAS 

6. What’s your favorite word/phrase?

“Come here, puss,” which is a Stewie Griffin quote I use whenever I need to get my daughter to come and do something 

7. If you read, who’s your favorite author?

Roald Dahl, Sue Townsend, Terry Pratchett, A.M. Holmes 

8. What’s your favorite book?

The Queen And I by Sue Townsend. Anyone who is into political satire should read it. 

9. What’s your go-to happy song?

Twilight’s Last Gleaming by High Contrast. Even if you don’t like DnB you should have this track on your playlist. 

10. Finally, what’s a random fact I don’t know about you?

I am qualified to cut dead tissue off your body. You know, should it ever come up. 

Tagging: @another-stark-sub @agustdowney @mostly-marvel-musings @specialk-18 @boop-le-snoot

[123453738282862682916111838282]

boy: hi me: i am so much happier now that i'm dead. technically "missing", soon to be presumed dead. gone. and my lazy, lying, cheating, oblivious husband will go to prison for my murder. nick dunne took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money. he took and took from me until i no longer existed. that's murder. let the punishment fit the crime. to fake a convincing murder, you have to have discipline. you befriend a local idiot. harvest the details of her humdrum life, and cram her with stories about your husband's violent temper. secretly create some money troubles. credit cards, perhaps online gambling. with the help of the unwitting, bump up your life insurance. purchase getaway car. craigslist. generic. cheap. pay cash. you need to package yourself so that people will truly mourn your loss. and america loves pregnant women. as if it's so hard to spread your legs. you know what's hard? faking a pregnancy. first, drain your toilet. invite pregnant idiot into your home, and ply her with lemonade. steal pregnant idiot's urine. voila. a pregnancy is now part of your legal medical record. happy anniversary. wait for your clueless husband to start his day. off he goes. and the clock is ticking. meticulously stage your crime scene, with just enough mistakes to raise the specter of doubt. you need to bleed. a lot. a lot, a lot. a head wound kind of bleed. a crime scene kind of bleed. you need to clean poorly, like he would. clean and bleed, bleed and clean. and leave a little something behind. a fire in july? and because you're you, you don't stop there. you need a diary. minimum 300 entries on the nick and amy story. start with the fairy tale early days. those are true. and they're crucial. you want nick and amy to be likable. after that, you invent. the spending. the abuse. the fear. the threat of violence. and nick thought he was the writer. burn it just the right amount. make sure the cops will find it. finally, honor tradition with a very special treasure hunt. and if i get everything right, the world will hate nick for killing his beautiful, pregnant wife. and after all the outrage, when i'm ready, i'll go out on the water with a handful of pills and a pocket of stones, and when they find my body, they'll know nick dunne dumped his beloved like garbage. and she floated down past all the other abused, unwanted, inconvenient women. then nick will die too. nick and amy will be gone. but then, we never really existed. nick loved a girl i was pretending to be. "cool girl." men always use that as their defining compliment. "she's a cool girl." cool girl is hot. cool girl is game. cool girl is fun. cool girl never gets angry at her man. she only smiles in a chagrined, loving manner, and then presents her mouth for fucking. she likes what he likes. so evidently, he's a vinyl hipster who loves fetish manga. if he likes girls gone wild, she's a mall babe who talks football and endures buffalo wings at hooters. when i met nick dunne, i knew he wanted cool girl. and for him, i'll admit, i was willing to try. i wax-stripped my pussy raw. i drank canned beer watching adam sandler movies. i ate cold pizza and remained a size two. i blew him, semi-regularly. i lived in the moment. i was fucking game. i cant say i didnt enjoy some of it. nick teased out of me things i didnt know existed. a lightness, a humor, an ease. but i made him smarter. sharper. i inspired him to rise to my level. i forged the man of my dreams. we were happy pretending to be other people. we were the happiest couple we knew. and whats the point of being together if youre not the happiest? but nick got lazy. he became someone i did not agree to marry. he actually expected me to love him unconditionally. then he dragged me, penniless, to the navel of this great country and found himself a newer, younger, bouncier cool girl. you think i'd let him destroy me and end up happier than ever? no fucking way, he doesnt get to win. my cute, charming, salt-of-the-earth missouri guy. he needed to learn. grown-ups work for things. grown-ups pay. grown-ups suffer consequences

[gardenplow3-blog]

TPV Podcast, Episode 310: Finding Health While Housebound

In this episode, Stacy and Sarah answer a question from a listener who is housebound and very limited due to overwhelming fatigue and nausea. We try to help her to eat more and perhaps do AIP.

Click here to listen in iTunes

or download and listen by clicking the PodBean Player below

If you enjoy the show, please review it in iTunes!

Intro (0:00)

News and Views (0:40)

Stacy and Sarah are doing the Time Warp because Sarah is still in Canada this week!

Stacy stood up on her paddleboard today! And she paddled with the family for a mile or so! She’s so happy to have recovered her health this much!

Sarah’s philosophy is to do physical activities that are fun!

Big thanks to this weeks podcast sponsor ShopAIP! Use coupon code PALEOVIEW for 10% off your order! Use the link: bit.ly/shopaiptpv

We will be doing sponsored shows occasionally. Please support us by supporting them

They are an excellent resource for obtaining safe foods for the Autoimmune Protocol as everything is prescreened!

They have everything from snack foods to sauces to spices that are all AIP compliant!

And you can a subscription order or bundled items for additional savings!

This weeks question is a heartbreaker.

Vivian says, “Hello Sarah and Stacy. I have been following you for a few years now, and I love your show (and books, and blogs). Thank you for all the science! I have ME moderate to serious. I have endometriosis and fibromyalgia also. Trying to do AIP, bit am so disabled I don’t make my own food. I think (know) that I struggle to eat enough food, Even when I get help cooking. I have a lot of nausea and struggle to eat because I have trouble sitting up. My sleep has gotten better, but I still struggle. Before I would often be tossing on my bed until 5 in the morning. My doctor has given me a prescription for melatonin, and now I sleep before 1 in the morning most nights. Still not perfect. But better. I sleep 8-16 hours. I am housebound, partly bedridden. I am really struggling to eat enough food. I wake up every morning with a horrible nausea. I have tried ginger and other things people has recommended for it, and nothing seem to work. I had a friend help me measure everything and calculate the calories for a week (it was for a nutritional specialist at the ME Clinic who wanted a diary). My daily intake (calculated) was 800-1100 calories a day. Probably it was actually a little bit less, because I did not finish the plates of food. On bad days I sometimes only eat a bag of samai chips (rainforest or plantain). Because salt and crispy goes down in small quantities. In norway (where I live), there has been some research into fish protein as a dieting method, and because of that research a few companies are producing fish protein pills, but also fish pills (from the entire fish). So I have two questions. First; do you have any suggestions on how I can manage to eat more? Second; could fish protein be a way for me to get protein in me om the days I really struggle to eat anything? I have found one that the ingredients are powdered fish, fish gelatin, magnesium and silica. I am guessing the silica is not ideal. But not eating does not seem to be doing me much good, even though people are trying to convince me fasting Will make me better. I would be so amazingly grateful for any help, as I feel very trapped in my body and my house. I want to do the AIP, and to get better. I love you both, and I really appreciate the respectful and sciency way you approach all questions.”

ME refers to myalgic encephalomyelitis.

Vivian is solution oriented and that’s great!

More protein is a common cure for nausea because it tightens the esophogeal sphincter.

Grazing and frequent meals is also good for nausea, avoiding an empty stomach.

Time shift your meals towards when you are less nauseous.

Ginger and mint are natural anti-emetic remedies

Fish protein might be great! It’s already hydrolyzed (broken down and easier to digest) and should be great! Sarah saw white fish capsules, maybe not as healthy as salmon but a good idea

Now, the ones we found were 2g of protein for 6 pills. So this is a LOT of pills for a serving of protein

Stacy says a smoothie with collagen would be nutrient and caloric dense

Broth would be great as well (Shop AIP has Epic Broth which is great.)

Pudding or popsicles might go down well and slowly.

 Vital Proteins liver pills might work well, and they are only 4 pills for 2g of protein.

Nutrient dense meats like liverwurst or braunschweiger fried in the oven would become crispy and maybe more tolerable.

Avocados and coconut are very calorically dense.

Convenience foods are very important so that people can help you quickly when you feel up to eating.

What would you have someone bring you to help?

Homemade broth

Clean, quality protein and vegetables (maybe cooked already)

Do chores that you can’t do instead of food (laundry, vacuum, dusting, etc.)

If you want to do AIP but you have a but after that, then figure out what you need to do to mitigate the but.

Be strong and brave and stand up for your health! Ask for what you need for you to be healthy.

You could need to help me less if you help me with this!

If someone wants you to cheat, remind them that it’s inappropriate for others to judge your choices. It doesn’t effect them!

Vivian! We’re rooting for you! Keep in touch!

Reminder: Big thanks to this weeks podcast sponsor ShopAIP! Use coupon code PALEOVIEW for 10% off your order! Use the link: bit.ly/shopaiptpv. Free shipping in the lower 48 and shipping to Canada, too!

Have fun in Canada, Sarah! Come back with your accent!

If you’ve enjoyed the show, please recommend it to someone who might enjoy it.

We love when you share and when you leave reviews for us! Thanks for listening!

Stacy

Mom of 3 boys, she's often found wearing a bearded dragon as an accessory while wrangling cats and pulling boys off each other before wrestling turns deadly. An executive in her day job and the creative force behind the blog in the night, her passions range from nutrient-dense anti-inflammatory approach to healing with lifestyle to body love and self-respect. Join her soap-box rants on the syndicated top-rated podcast, The Paleo View or Strong Woman Radio.

Source: http://realeverything.com/tpv-podcast-episode-310-finding-health-while-housebound/

[waiting-to-be-pretty-blog]

Bulimia

Mia is her name… She’s only thinking about food, yet she can push you to puke it all up if she wants you to. She doesn’t like that other people eat more than her, so she makes them push their finger down their throat, make them sick and make them punch themselves since they ate her food. hahah The tips are from all over the internet + own experiences..

Drink water, it fills you up when you are hungry and makes purging easier.

Throw away the foods you think you’ll binge on.

Cut food into tiny pieces.

Put your fork down between bites.

Chew everything a certain number of times. Eat in patterns.

Develop systems of eating. All of this helps to make food a mere object rather than the devil itself.Take a sip of water or other calorie-free liquid between each bite. You feel full much faster, partially because the body often mistakes thirst for hunger, so by drinking lots of water, one actually reduces the amount of food their body needs to eat.

If you are really craving something specific and are on the verge of a binge, go into the kitchen, prepare it, and then eat it-but do not swallow instantly! Chew it slowly, enjoy it, and then spit it out if you can. Immediately after that rinse your mouth with water at least three times before swallowing a sip. And remember the 3-bite-rule!

If you are about to binge, pick a safe food, preferably negative calorie (pickles, celery, lettuce, etc.) everything got calories, sweetie.. and eat it, while taking a sip of water with each bite. You will most likely be full so the desire to binge will be gone, but you haven’t eaten anything “bad.”

Eat as slowly as you can. It takes your body around 30 minutes to realize it’s full. Chew until the food dissolves in your mouth and drink a lot of water.

If you must binge, only binge for 5 minutes then purge. Take the time and control yourself!

When you’re going to prepare your food, put little food on your plate and make sure to make it look big!

Your tummy gets full faster than your head, so make sure to make your food look more than it is. It's really important, you see!

Sabotage your food. Adding too much salt etc works great.

When you eat, ONLY eat when people are watching.

STOP EATING IN YOUR ROOM.

Remember to sit down in the same place every day; not in front of TV or computer. Eating in front of TV distracts you from your body’s fullness signals, and you’re more likely not to notice what you’re eating.

If you feel like you want to eat, go to a friend’s house. You can not just raid the fridge, and chew gum so if you’re offered something, you just say that you got gum in your mouth.

After you purge, drink some water, jump up and down, and go purge again. Keep repeating this until you only get up as clear fluid as possible.

If you live with roommates or at home and need to purge while hiding it, turn on the shower while you’re purging to cover up any sounds or suspicion of taking forever, and then hop in and take a quick shower after you’re done. But be careful so you won't clog the shower.. so chew well.

If you’re completely desperate, mix 2 tablespoons of salt with a cup of water and drink it. Jump a bit up and down to make yourself really sick. It’ll make you nauseous. But beware, it tastes DISGUSTING and it’ll make everything else that comes up taste just as gross.

Wear a belt and tighten it as you progress in your purge. It will help get the food up.

Try doing pushups, jumping jacks, squats, or other short but intense activity after a binge. You’ll feel more like throwing up right after.

Drink electrolytes to get some of minerals you have lost.

I’ve heard that mineral oil is a very effective and less harmful laxative, but I've never tried it.

If you take laxatives(in pill form), try in a 2, 4, 6, 8 ratio so your body doesn’t get used to them, because then you have to take higher and higher doses. So use 2 the first day, then 4 the second, 6 the third and 8 the forth, then fast one day and don’t use any laxatives, then start up the cycle again. You are basically tricking your body. BUT don’t overuse the laxatives. You’ll end up making the POOP muscles all weak.

Drink tons of water while you are eating. It will make the food so much easier to get up, plus it won’t taste bad if there is enough water. it also fills you up faster so you have less food to puke out.

Use more than one finger, and wiggle them a little to “tickle” the gag reflex. i personally use three or four… It makes me feel like i am choking and everything comes up.

Push on your stomach when you want to purge.

Wet your fingers first by sucking on them or running them under warm water.

Use your stomach muscles to push the food up.

Chew your food until it dissolves.

Food comes back up in basically the same order it went down in. If you eat something brightly colored first, you’ll know when you’ve gotten up mostly all the food. However, since you can’t always get up everything, it’s better to make this “first-food” something low-cal in case you end up having to live with it after all. Everything gets mixed in the tummy.

If throwing up is hard for you use a tooth brush (not the side with the brush) and drink lots of fluids before, but I find this annoying and it makes my throat hurt even more.

when gagging find that little hump in the back of your throat and just keep rubbing it around in circles

Do not kneel by the toilet. Stand in front of the toilet - tilt your head up and put your fingers down your throat. When you begin to gag, bend down over the toilet. Much easier and less effort needs to be put into it.

The bristly end of a tooth brush works well for purging, irritating, but gets the job done and the puke comes up.

Drink a glass of water before you puke, and then take a break and drink another one when ever it gets a little hard to get it all up…then after drink another glass and brush your teeth you will feel refreshed and ready for the rest of the day.

After purging don’t brush your teeth!! It just rubs the acid in a eats away at your tooth enamel. Instead rinse your mouth out with water or mouth wash.

Throwing up more than one hour after eating is mostly useless. But it takes between one and three hours for the stomach to empty.

DO NOT eat granola bars or bread. They do not come up easily if at all since they stick together and you’ll end up puking a big ball of ew.

Try a not- so-harmful laxative solution instead like lactulose.

If you’re purging in a public toilet, flush the toilet with each puke episode… it covers the sound & you can always say that the toilet isn’t flushing forcefully enough (like it’s broken).

Stand up when putting your finger down your throat… when it is down… breath in… lots of air… then bend over and it will come out.

Instead of rising suspicion by going to the bathroom after every meal, go to your room, turn the stereo up and purge in a garbage can with a plastic bag that doesn't leak and may be seal-able. you’ll get a chance to see how much actually came up and it’ll be easier to hide if you make any noise. But get rid of the evidence discreetly.

After purging run hands under cold water and pat your eyes. After you finish purging usually your eyes look puffy and red. cold water helps tone the redness down

Rinse your mouth with baking soda or fruit-salt with bicarbonate after you throw up- to neutralize the acid.Then use mouth wash- or gum or whatever. do NOT brush your teeth right away- that just worsens the effects of the acid.

Things that hurt to throw up: Hot stuff, since you'll most likely puke trough your nose too... hard stuff like crisps...

Drink lots of fluid, a gallon of anything will automatically help you throw up. If you drink loads you to get really full and it will all come out

Drink hot water then try to purge, the hot water makes me nauseous and makes it much easier.

Drink lots of warm water before you throw up it helps the food come up better or after you binge eat a few spoonfuls of ice- cream. It makes me nauseous and I want to puke.

Don’t clog up the toilet

If possible do try and puke in your bedroom in a bag or something because after puking there’ll be a shiny layer on top(from fat) the water (in toilet) and this will attract attention at home

There is nothing more degrading than puking in a toilet and being splashed in the face by potty water and your own vomit. this usually doesn’t happen often unless it is very forceful purging, you can lessen this splash-effect by putting a few squares of toilet paper on the surface of the water

Force yourself to wait at least one hour between binges. I have, like so many others, a bad habit of binge/purge/binge/purge/binge/purge, etc… By the end of the entire session I get lazy & put less effort into bringing everything up. By spreading out binges, less food gets left behind

If your eyes get red after purging (say if you’re out eating with friends and you go to the bathroom), come back and tell them how you’re contacts are driving you NUTS…makes it seem like you were taking them in/out in the bathroom (hence the red eyes)

Don’t eat your food when its too hot. You wont be able to chew properly and then it’ll be hard to vomit big pieces of food. If you’ve been there you’ll know what I’m talking about...

When you’ve nearly finished but cant get the last bit out, punch yourself as hard as you can in the stomach…..just below the base of the rib cage, I’ve found this really helped as when you drink water after it you feel so nauseous it all comes out

Soft fruit (grapes, strawberries) are the best to purge with, but remember to chew them well

While you are bingeing, take a sip of water in-between each bite of food. So then, when you purge it, the food is all mixed up in the water so nothing gets stuck or is hard to come out.

Try to get all the vomiting done at once, if you stop for a little you ain’t going want to go back. So take a deep breath, and get it all done.

Stay away from sandwiches! They are just about the worst kind of food when you are on a diet. First, they pack a lot of food into a small space, leaving you relatively unsatisfied for the number of calories you’re consuming. Second, they are designed to be eaten quickly – a big no-no for anyone trying to lose weight. Third, they tend to come with a lot of empty calories – sauces, too much filling, etc. And finally, sandwiches treat bread as a vehicle for food, not as food in itself, thus adding a lot of unnecessary calories to what might otherwise be a sensible meal. If you absolutely must eat on the run and need a sandwich, make sure to use a low-calorie bread, stay away from sauces, and pack your sandwich with lots of leafy vegetables (crispy fresh baby spinach or arugula are my favourites) Or have a FREAKING SALAD, FATTIE.

Chew eat bite of food thoroughly and then take a sip of water between bites. You will feel full quicker and will not eat as much.

Long nails can make you scratch inside of your throat and you’ll be in unnecessary pain.

Make a list of all the “bad” foods that you crave and tend to binge on. Each day, pick one to take out of your diet that you absolutely, no matter what, cannot eat again. Take one off the list each day until there are no more bad foods you can have.

Before you dig into that cake, bag of chips, candy, or whatever, take a deep breath and count to 100. Maybe by the time you get to 100 you will have convinced yourself that you don’t really want it.

[dy1kjxxa-blog]

How much insurance should I have on a 12 year old car?

How much insurance should I have on a 12 year old car?

Should I have full coverage or can I get by on something less?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :4insurequotes.xyz

SOURCES:

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