#i cant exactly put the eyes on the side of my head bc then i cant SEE
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I'm in hell actually
#mask making is such a PAIN IN MY ASS#all these ppl doing tutorials and shit 4 therian masks like “oh heres how to make a dog mask” ok what about LITERALLY ANHTHING ELSE#or how do you make masks that are glasses compatable#how do you measure them on your face without wanting to rip your hair out bc all the tutorials have you doing one tiny piece at a time#“start with the muzzle” that's great. on a canine or feline face that works! but it doesn't for a sheep bc it doesnt line up the same#how do you do the planes of the face when the face itself is too different from your own#i cant exactly put the eyes on the side of my head bc then i cant SEE#im overstimulated and pissed off ive been working on this stupid fucking thing ALL DAY#and its not coming out how i want it to at all#and its not like i have any type of base or guide to use so im just winging it and everything looks like shit!#im tired i just want this stupid mask done so i can do other shit#elliot rambles#vent#rant
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strawberry | John Price
summary: price gets you to use your safe word
warnings: rough sex, choking, biting, spanking, overstimulation, public oral (male receiving), slapping(mentions of blood). just like really aggressive John until the end where we get soft core John, not edited bc of how much I wrote so, ignore and possible typos PLZ
Price was always pretty rough with you during sex. but never enough to make you cry like he did tonight. he was a whole new person, new man. and all it took was the teasing at dinner with his family to set him off.
it started off light. pulling your dress down in the car, showing off the top of your boobs. of course, you played dumb, apologizing and saying 'I didn't know'. at first he had fallen for it, saying he wouldn't mind if you kept it that way. but then, you got more bold and cocky. under the dinner table, your hand found its place on his pants, right where his dick rested so peacefully. his eyes that were once on the menu were now on your innocent ones. "is everything alright?" his mother asked. John smiled and nodded, a small chuckle leaving his lips. "yes she just looks so pretty tonight doesn't she? cant keep my eyes off her." he smiled, looking back down at you.
the rest of the dinner you got progressively more cocky. to the point his dick was now out, resting in your warm hand. his parents talked about John's passion for the military, how he'd been dedicated to it his whole life. all while your hand played with his tip, squeezing it ever so gently. his hand was quick to find your thigh, gripping it firmly. thankfully, the cloth was enough to cover his lower half and yours, but the thrill of it all was still very much there. when the waiter had came by, you smoothly let his girth go, using the table cloth to cover his hard on. you smirked at the tiny wet circle that appeared onto the cloth right where his tip was.
when his parents were deep into the menu, the waiter helping them with choosing what to eat, John leaned down to your ear and whispered, "keep this up I promise you'll regret it. don't test me lovie." he smiled down at you before turning back to his parents. you pressed your thighs together, smiling softly to yourself. this was exactly what you wanted from him.
his dick remained out for the rest of the dinner, your hand occasionally reaching down and giving it a firm grab, surprising him each time. by the time dinner was done, he had come close to finishing at least 3 times, always flicking your hand away. he was good at keeping his moans and groans suppressed (public sex was something you both had often), but when he'd cum that was a whole different situation.
"well it was lovely seeing you both tonight. we should do this more often." you smiled to his parents as John tried to put his throbbing dick back into his pants. "it was. thank you for inviting us out. hopefully next time we do meet you both will tell us your pregnant." his mom winked, standing from the table. you blushed and looked at John who's eyes were already staring at you. " who knows mom. you might get lucky real soon." he said, his eyes remaining on yours.
the car ride was silent. you were excited but also a bit nervous about what he had in store. of course, you had a feeling it would be nothing short of amazing. "I had fun with your parents." you said as he pulled to a red light. he shifted his whole body to you, tilting his head to the side. "really? seems you had too much fucking fun." he said, his deep voice suddenly turning into a threatening tone. you shifted in your seat, a proud smile still plastered across your face. "I did. you didnt?" you asked innocently, batting your eye lashes.
before he could respond the light turned green. he shifted back to his original position, driving off quickly. his driving got you both home within 10 minuets, and he was quick to get out the car, slamming the door behind him. he walked over to your side, opening the door and helping you out. it was dark outside, about 9:30 at night. the only light that lit the street was the porch lights on each house.
when he had helped you out fully, he quickly dragged you to the front of the car, shoving you down. you gasped at the pain of your knees and the cement, looking up at him. " John that fucking-" his hand came crashing across your face, gripping your chin so you'd look back up at him. "think I fucking care after that shit you pulled at dinner?" he growled, his grip on your chin growing firmer. you looked up at him, smiling innocently. " I was just having fun tho." you said softly, fingers playing with the ends of his pants.
he growled and let your face go, going to his pants buckle while keeping eye contact. "wanna play silly little games like that, okay. lets play." he gripped your hair at the top of your head, forcing your head back. you gasped at the sudden tug, biting your lip at the same time. "open." he said, gripping his dick with his other hand, jerking it off in front of you. "but captain were outside" you smirked, only teasing him more. "stop fucking playing with me. open your goddam mouth." he growled, tugging your hair. you whimpered at the pain, but ultimately opened your mouth. he wasted no time shoving his dick down your throat, your hands immediately going to his thighs to keep balance.
" s..shit. this what you wanted, hm? just needed my dick down your fucking throat." he growled, pulling his hips back before moving them back onto your face. you were unable to even say anything, but the way you nodded slowly as best you could, he smiled down at you. it was so thrilling, getting your face fucked outside in public. the way he looked down at you with such admiration, his dick repeatedly hitting the back of your throat, just to slide back out again.
he pulled your head back a bit more, your head resting on the front bumper of the car now. that same hand rested onto the car hood, his other on your shoulder. "g..gonna fuck that throat faster. bet you want that huh?" he groaned, his hips moving faster. his head fell back, grip on your shoulder tightening. to be honest, John had never gone this far with face fucking. he was pretty gentle when it came to head. sex, no, but when you gave him head it was never something that he forced upon you or was super rough with. he let you take your time, breaks whenever you needed. he was patient. but not tonight and it was definitely something you had to get used to.
your drool practically poured out your mouth, his dick slippery with your saliva. the mix of his pre cum and your saliva made it even easier for his throat to slide down your throat, and it was a feeling he wanted to keep on feeling. tears poured out your eyes the more rough he got with you, mascara running down your cheeks. and he loved it. "look do fucking gorgeous like this love. wanna fuck your face more." he moaned, watching his dick and a fuck ton of saliva come from your mouth as he pulled his dick out, sliding it back in to watch it all pool at the corners of your lips.
to be honest, it was a bit much. again, it was something neither of you had really experienced before. and as much as you tried to relax your throat, it was pretty hard because of how fast and rough he was getting. but when he whimpered out your name, head falling forward, mouth slightly agape, you couldnt give up. "gonna cum baby.. gonna cum down that tight fucking throat." he moaned, his had that was once on your shoulder cupping your cheek. you squeezed your eyes shut, whimpering around his dick. his body jerked forward, his body falling forward onto the hood of the car, his cum shooting down your throat.
he gasped, strained groans leaving him, his hips giving you small thrusts. "t-thats it baby.. fucking swallow.. all of it." he groaned, breathing heavily above you. you tried your best to swallow it all, only a bit seeping out of your lips. he slowly slid his dick out, strings of saliva, cum or even both connecting you both. shoving his soaked dick back in his pants, he looked down at you. your jaw hurt, lips too. you looked up at him, chest heaving up and down. "get the fuck up." he said, gripping your arm and pulling you up into his chest. he gdragged you to the front door, quickly opening the door and shoving you inside.
you had tripped, but ultimately kept your balance. his keys were thrown onto the mail table as he flicked the light on, making quick movements towards you. saliva was still smeared across your face, his cum too. but to say he cared would be a lie. his lips pressed firmly against yours, his tongue sliding in easily, his hand pressed to the back of your neck while his other gripped your ass. "couch. now" he said against your lips. you stumbled backwards, quickly making your way to the couch. despite your stumbling he walked towards you slowly, his head tilted to the side a small smirk plastered along his face. he loved the shy, kinda shocked version of you. he ate it up every time.
"wait." he said as you got to the couch. he walked in front of you, sitting down on the couch. he leaned back, man spreading before patting his lap. "lay." was all he said, eyes staring up at you. you hesitated but did as he asked, laying across his lap. he sighed, hand gripping your calf before moving his hand up your leg. "been so good for me so far. gonna keep being good?" he asked, gripping your thighs, your dress trailing up your body the farther his hand went. he loved your thighs. so much so he one night woke up and decided to fuck into them. pressed them together against your chest, ramming into them. it was hot how much he loved all the parts of your body you had always been insecure or less confident in. when his hands came to your ass, he smoothly slid your panties off and down your legs, tossing them beside him on the couch.
you nodded, throat still pretty sore to speak. but he wasn't going to have that. his hand came down on your ass harshly, your body jerking forward. but his actions after contradicted that, his hand rubbing on the red spot. " words princess. you know I dont like feeling ignored." he whispered, his other hand petting the top of your head soothingly. "y-yes" you croaked out, letting go of the breath you had no idea you were holding onto. " such a shame tho." he mumbled, his hand quickly coming back down harshly onto your ass. a pained whimper fell from you, your eyes squeezing shut, hands gripping the pillow right in front of your face. "you were acting like such a slut earlier. sluts get punished, dont they? especially my pretty little slut." he said, leaning down to your ear while his hand slapped another red spot onto your ass.
John had become a whole new person in the blink of an eye. first the face fucking, now the spanking. what was next? you weren't necessarily scared. but you were anxious. anxious about what he would do to you next. how far he'd take it. you were left in the dark. " teasing me in front of my parents. in public." slap. "bet you wanted me to cum under that table, didnt you?" another harsh slap. he watched how your ass jiggled after each hit, bitting his lip. he himself had no idea what came over him. at all. but he knew that he liked it. in fact, he loved it.
your ass was a bright red, stinging so badly the cold air didnt even help. in a way, it made it worse. tears once again didnt fail to brim your eyes, feeling more and more slaps hit your ass, the same spot each and every time. " P-price please" you cried out. but he was in a trance. he hated it, but deep down loved the way blood began to prickle up from the spot he was abusing. "so pretty.." he whispered, before leaning down, placing a small kiss onto the skin before gently biting the spot. you winced in pain, again digging your nails into the pillow.
he sighed, pulling you up by your waist, your knees digging into his thighs. "lay down baby.. gonna fuck that pretty little cunt." he whispered, holding your hips to help you lay down. once you were comfortable, back on the couch, he rose, pulling his pants off and down his body. his dick sprung out, pre cum leaking onto the floor in drops. you whimpered at the sight, your eyes shooting back up to his. " dont worry baby.. im gonna fuck you." he smirked, practically leaping over you. he leaned back down, lips meeting your slightly wet ones. your face, for the most part, was dry and crusty. but again, he didnt care. he'd been on the battle field with literal guts splattered everywhere. plus, it was his own cum on your face
his lips distracted you from his tip moving up your cunt, collecting all the slick you had. it was embarrassing, how much pain and embarrassment made you wet. you both had a wild side, but there were limits that you both hadn't yet reached, but tonight, he had decided it was time. and its not like you minded and your cunt was proof you didnt.
without warning, his dick pushed into you, a gasp coming from you that broke the kiss. his nose touched yours, his eyes looking down into your wide ones. " I know baby.. just relax. " he whispered, feeling you tighten around his dick. your hands found his shoulders, gripping them firmly as he bottomed out inside you. his forehead connected to yours, a deep sigh leaving him. he wasted little to no time in gripping your legs to wrap them around his waist, your bleeding ass cheek failing to not sting. he pulled out real slow before slamming back into you, going straight in for a faster pace.
your head pressed into the pillow, eyes squeezing shut. " fuck this cunt is so tight. so fucking... good." he groaned, his hands keeping his body up. he looked down, watching his dick slide in and out, the slick from your cunt forming strings. the sounds were sinful, the squelching of your wetness as his dick slammed into you. "j-john.. oh my god~" you whined, back arching up. he smirked down at you, one hand gripping your face. " keep those pretty eyes on me. wanna see your face while I fuck you senseless." he said, his voice deep and smooth like honey.
his tip was quick to hit your womb, the bulge in your stomach not going unnoticed. he moaned at the sight, biting his lip. " look at that. taking this dick so well. such a good slut for me, aren't you?" he cooed, watching it disappear and re appear over and over. you went cross eyes, mouth falling agape at how deep he was hitting into you. it was embarrassing, but you felt your first orgasm of the night hit you like a train. it was coming, and coming fast. he felt the way your cunt pulsed around him, and he chuckled, looking back up at you. "gonna cum already? better hold it. im not done with this little cunt." he said, his right hand going to your throat.
your gasped, hands gripping his wrists as his thrusts only got more and more rough. you couldnt hold back and he knew you couldnt. but he wanted that. he wanted you to cum, just so he could punish you for cumming. his eyes were saying it all, watching you with a small smirk on his lips, mocking you. the way he looked down at you, his thrusts hitting all the right spots in your cunt, you couldnt stop the knot in your stomach from coming loose. he smiled, looking down between you both to watch your cum pour out of you and coat his dick.
" tsk tsk.. being a bad girl again are we?" he chuckled, shaking his head. " I-i couldnt.. help it. im s..sorry" you whined, eyes pleading with his. but he didnt care. again, this is what he wanted. now he could punish you for it.
his hips didnt stop. in fact they sped up. he let go of your throat, that same hand finding your clit. " gonna cum again. and again. until I decide ive had enough of you. since that what you wanted to fucking bad, right?" he asked, watching his thumb play with your throbbing clit. you tried your hardest to pull away, but his other hand held your hips down. " stop fucking running. take what the fuck you deserve for being such a fucking cum slut." he growled, leaning farther over your body to hit deeper into your cunt.
your mouth fell agape once more, your hands digging into his shoulders. he moaned at the feeling, his head falling into your neck. his lips sucked onto your skin, leaving behind big, dark purple and red, bloody marks. his teeth sunk into your skin, feeling his orgasm approaching. " gonna cum in you. you want that, want me to fill you up with my cum? make you a mommy?" he moaned, his thumb still working on your clit. " y-yes.. fuck fill me with it John p..please" you moaned, hands finding the back of his head and running your fingers through his hair.
he moaned into your neck, giving you a few harsh thrust before small, cute little whimpers slipped past him. his cum shot deep into you, his teeth once again sinking into you. you cried out at the pain, the taste of blood dancing along his tongue. and when you though the was done, you felt his hips slamming back into you.
he leaned up off you, blood smeared on his bottom lip. his hair was a mess, bot from your fingers and his head moving against you as he laid into your neck. his hand gripped your calf, pulling it from his waist before holding it up in the air. " thought I was done with you? no baby.. gonna fuck this cunt till you cant even cum anymore." he said, watching you from below.
his thumb went right back to your clit, rubbing small circles that matched his pace. you were sure it was because you just had the strongest orgasm you've had in a bit, but you already felt tired and worn out. it could also be from all the blood Price had managed to draw from you. " c-cant take it." you cried, hands resting on his stomach in hopes to slow him down. but it only fueled him. seeing your poor attempts in stopping him, watching you run from him. " come on princess. take this dick like I know you can. making me so proud." he moaned, head falling back at the feeling of both your warmth and slick coating him.
the room sounded like pure filth, both you guys' moans, the sound of your slick, the skin slapping. it was hot, but also so much for you. it didnt take long for your second orgasm to follow your first one, this one more powerful than the last. " come on baby, cum for me. I know you want to." he smiled from above you, watching how his dick slid back into your cunt with ease and pull back out that much easier. your fingers gripped the ends of the couch cushions, your body jerking forward as another orgasm washed over your body. you chanted his name, legs shaking as you came down from it.
" p...please hold on." you cried out, feeling him continue to fuck into you. he shook his head, growling at you. " didnt I say im not stopping till this cunt cant cum anymore? now shut the fuck up and take it." he growled, his hand landing a slap across your face.
you had to admit, Price was beginning to scare you. it went from just being anxious to being a bit scared of him. he hadn't realized it tho, thinking the look on your expression was just from being so cock drunk. he loved it, watching your blood slide down your neck, pooling in your collar bone. his balls wet with your cum and slick. he felt too good to stop.
" gonna cum again. milking me so goddam good baby." he groaned, his head falling down. you though that this would be the end. that he'd be too tired to keep fucking you. and you were right, kinda.
he shot his last load into you, his body falling forward just a bit at the feeling. he chanted your name, telling you how good your pussy felt, how he wanted to stay in it forever. and when he slid out, you were shocked to immediately feel his fingers sliding in. your back arched, a cry slipping from you. " j-john please I cant" you cried, your legs arching. but he didnt stop. his fingers curled, hitting your g spot each time. his thumb found your clit again, rubbing it in small circles. " sounds so hot baby.. but I know you can. this is what happens to sluts. if you act like on im gonna treat you like one."
again, you began to spasm around his fingers, tears officially puling from your eyes as your stomach cramped up at yet another orgasm. to be honest, John hadn't realized how crazy he was going on you. he didnt know why you teasing him and jerking him off under the table was what set him off. maybe it was because he wanted to match your energy. but he had begun to take it to far when he again, slid his dick back inside your cunt. you were surprised he wasn't just as tired as you were or overstimulated. but he did just give himself a decent break.
" you look so fucked out baby.. are you tired?" he pouted, his hips moving slowly, giving you somewhat of a break. you nodded, wiping your watery eyes. finally, he was going to give you a break and maybe just stop all together. but no. all he did was lean back into your neck, leaving another hickey followed with a bite mark, ramming his hips back into yours. "John please" you cried, shaking your head, pressing your hands to his stomach and shoving him back.
his hand shoved yours off him, his other hand going to your neck. " I said take what I fucking give you, didnt I? stop fucking moving." at this point your pussy was sore, it hurt. you didnt even think you could cum anymore. and the grip on your throat was painful. tears fell from your eyes once you realized you had to use the now word he had promised neither of you would ever have to use. ever.
"s-strawberry.. please strawberry!" you sobbed, hands pressing onto his abdomen. at first he didnt think he heard you right. he slowed down, his face softening. "what?" he looked down at you, watching at the tears ran downpour face. he noticed, really noticed, the bite marks, the hickies covered with blood. he slid out immediately, sitting down and pulling your limp body onto his lap. " im so sorry.. im so so sorry." he whispered, pulling you into his arms.
but you couldnt stop crying. you didnt know if he was being genuine, if he found it hot. you were in the mindset that he was going to just flip you over and fuck you all over. but he didnt. he held you tight, whispering how sorry he was in your ear, how wrong he was for going so overboard. " i.. I broke a promise. and im so sorry my love. I should've listened to you." he said, pulling you off his chest. he wiped the tears from your eyes, his chest hurting as he looked at your red eyes. "please let me take care of you. for real." he said, taking your hand in his.
he stood, holding you in his arms and made his way to the bathroom. "im gonna set you on the toilet for a bit.." he said, sitting you gently. he started the bath before turning back to you, lifting your dress off you. when the bath was full, he helped you inside, watching you settle in. it was silent, kinda awkward. he didnt know what to say other than he was sorry. and he was. he'd never had to do this before, but he knew that he had to take care of you as best he could.
"look up for me princess." he said, cupping your chin softly. he grabbed the washcloth that hung on the rack, wetting it a bit before gently wiping your face. you eyes met his, giving you a small smile. " your so pretty." he mumbled, wiping your chin before dipping the washcloth back in the warm water. "thank you." you said softly, looking down. he continued to wipe your face before moving down to your neck. " this may hurt.. but I promise ill be as gentle as I can." he said before pressing the cloth to your neck.
you winced at the pain, squeezing your eyes shut. " im sorry my love.. just a bit more." he said softly, patting your skin softly. when it was done, he looked at the bloody cloth, sighing, shaking his head to himself. to say he was angry at himself or disappointed, that would be an understatement. he promised himself and you he'd never hurt you. " im so sorry my love.. I dont know what came over me." he said, head hanging low.
you reached over the tub and gripped his hand. " lets just watch movies and cuddle.. maybe even get some tea." you said, voice still hoarse from earlier. he didnt look at you at first, his eyes still stuck to the ground. but when you squeezed his hand again, he looked at you and nodded. " ill take care of you princess. dont you worry."
and he did. the rest of the night he was like your personal little maid. you needed to go pee? dont even think about using your legs, he'd carry you. you wanted the blanket? he'd tuck you in like a burrito. you got too hot? okay he'd take it off. he ordered your favorite food to the house since cooking was not his strong suit, ice cream on the side as well. he felt happy being able to take care of you like he told himself he would always do instead of hurting you.
when you were tired, you curled into his chest, snuggling into him. he looked down and smiled, his hand resting on top of your head. for the first time that night he had let himself cry. well not cry, but a few tears did drop. he was so grateful that you were as forgiving as you were. how even though he hurt you as bad as he did, you still felt safe in his arms, comfortable.
he kissed the top of your head, switched the tv off and laid back. " goodnight princess, I love you so much." he whispered before holding you in his arms, his grip on you never getting loose.
| this was pure fucking filth but like... I love this man so much I can help but right filthy filthy smut about him, also this was for @grqpegrqve |
#call of duty fan fiction#call of duty x reader#cod#cod x reader#captain price#captain price smut#John Price smut#John Price x you
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I feel like in tired days I just wanna hug hsr women and then sway side to side. Maybe a sigh or two escaping bc of the utter warmth and love you can feel from them. Makes u wanna melt into a small puddle.
-🍏
me core… im literally exhausted all the time no matter how much i sleep and hsr women are sooo comforting in their own ways i’d just be putty in their arms. need black swan especially because she has all the time in the world and knows how to cherish intimate moments like no other so it doesn’t matter how long you’d stay there she wouldn’t get bored, just bask in the warmth she’s feeling and tuck it away in her memory for when she’s away and wants a piece of you ughhh
who are the best huggers do we think… himeko on top! wait its actually a bit hard most of them would be great like natasha raises children and sews teddy bears, a hug from her could cure all my disorders. hime’s canonically super comforting so it’s the two of them at the top but then there’s SWAN who would know just the amount of pressure to put and who’s naturally very easy to trust/talk to as described by people… serval would squeeze you so tight but in a “i love you soooooooo much babe” kind of way so she could also save me. yukong’s a literal mother forget it she might win the top spot bc as a foxian i just know she’s always warm like it would be heaven. and ROBIN? HELLO? this actual sunshineee she’d be happy just hugging for half an hour and she’d rub your back or play with your hair omg im sick
acheron is awkward about it and is the type to weirdly stand still for a minute before she relaxes into the hug but if she’s used to it? omg. im biased bc shes extremely comforting to me but one hug from acheron with her chin over your shoulder or her face in your neck, holding you tight enough that you’re reminded of her immense strength and of how safe u feel with her?…… need that. its the same with jingliu, her and acheron would just be so cute about it. seele would give you 3 to 5 seconds, count them and awkwardly pat your head then immediately slip from your hold. she’s also kinda a “what is this?” “affection” “disgusting. do it again” person to me. bronya’s usually efficient with it like she’ll usually hug you for a few seconds before pulling away but sometimes when you start to pull away bc of how used you are to short hugs she’ll just hold you tighter and shut her eyes for a moment.
jade asks what you’re willing to exchange for a hug and ruins the rest of your life (jk…. but not really😕) she’s somehow superficial about it and its more you hugging her than her hugging you, if that makes sense..? she holds you loosely and chuckles, endeared, but that’s about it. calls you a cutie and tucks your hair back behind your ear when you pull away. topaz will tell you she has exactly 35 seconds to spare so u better make it count and she seems like the type to ruffle your hair or something. (she’s checking her phone behind your back 🤫) firefly is soo down for it she gets all giggly and smiley when you hold her tight and will stay like that for as long as u both can.
best for last…. cant believe im saying this but kafka would be a little like jade except that she not so secretly revels in the attention, it’s hidden behind smugness and confidence but the fact that she lets you hug her for this long speaks for itself. she’s not used to it but she knows how to navigate uncharted waters like a pro (its just a lot of performance) so she never recoils or flinches. like jade, you’re hugging her more than she’s hugging you BUTTT she would play with your hair a little and run her hands down your back until the hug turns rated M😞
i realize u probably dont gaf about all that but my brain started running and i couldnt stop it im sorry hfjfkgjd
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Thoughts ab clingy bf new? Esp trying to distract when playing games?
(shh i want more chanhee content i love him)
im ripping my hair out U ALWAYS SOMEHOW KNOW WHAT TO ASK TO GET MY BRAIN GOING ILY
clingy chanhee thoughts !!
minors dni ; boyfriend chanhee x afab reader ; 656 words
warnings ! established relationship , dom!chanhee , oral (reader rec) , edging , not proofread + lowercase intended :3
chanhee is so ,, im in love with him istg
hes such a tease mostly bc he loves when u get fed up with how distracting hes being n finally snap (but he'll never admit it) but also hes so cute when hes clingy ,, how can u say no to a pretty boy like him ? (spoiler : u cant)
he'll literally do anything in his power to distract u especially when ur playing games bc why don't u just play with him ? he rlly doesn't get it !!
if ur sitting on the couch while playing, he'll sit next to u at first, n then when he realizes u have no intention of paying attention to him he'll lay his head on ur lap, one of his pretty delicate hands (i love chanhee's hands btw aaaaa im crazy aaaa) squeezing ur thigh from time to time.
you'd call his name out a few times as a warning, your eyes never leaving the screen as chanhee pouts bc u r literally so mean! he keeps raking his brain for an idea to get ur attention as he plays with the hem of ur shirt, the tips of his fingers brush against your sides and making you shiver, but still not giving him your undivided attention.
thats when chanhee has the best idea ever.
"can i eat you out?" he asks casually, as if hes asking what movie u should watch later tonight, or what's for dinner (for you? who knows! for chanhee? you, apparently) that wasn't funny sorry
chanhee's mission is successful, as you pause your game and slowly put the controller down to your side, giving him an incredulous look while he smiles innocently at u.
"what?"
"i said," he sits back up, one hand still on your waist "can i eat you out?"
you know this is where it would eventually go. yet you can still feel your face heat up in embarrassment, as if chanhee isn't literally your boyfriend and he hasn't seen you in far more compromising situation than eating u out in the couch.
"yeah," you finally say once you manage to break out from the initial shock. chanhee is ecstatic, leaving a quick kiss on ur lips before getting on his knees on the floor and tugging impatiently at your shorts and underwear to take them off of u in one go.
he's so eager, and has been acting needy and clingy for the whole past hour or so, you really don't expect him to start teasing you out of nowhere, when hes so close to getting what he wants. so that's exactly what he does, catching u off guard. you're kind of mistaken, chanhee doesn't want to eat u out - i mean, ofc he does, he loves going down on u everytime he has the chance, but that's not his main goal at the moment! he wants your undivided attention, so ofc he'll drag it out as much as possible.
he starts leaving kisses along your thighs, so slowly you feel like you're actually about to go insane, chanhee takes his time with you even when you're whining his name and asking him not to tease you, trying to grab his hair to pull him closer to you just for him to wrap his free hand around your wrist and pinning it to your side.
even when he gets to actually eating you out, hes such a tease abt it :(( giving kitten licks to your clit and poking your hole with his tongue until you're a shaking mess bc the stimulation is just not enough for anything! but it's only fair after u were so mean to chanhee n ignored him, no?
but dw! sooner or later he'll get tired of teasing, satisfied bc he thinks u got what you deserved, and he'll start to properly eating you out, so messy n sloppy as he fucks you with his tongue until you cum .
(me after writing like 11 paragraphs leading up to the smut n only 2 paragraphs of actual action)(do not question my vision im a writer im an artist im simply above all judgment /j)
#🍰 seongminiz !#🍞 tbz !#'i dont feel like writing' mfs when choi chanhee exists#the boyz hard hours#the boyz smut#chanhee smut#tbz smut#tbz hard hours
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okayyy haven't done a review in a while so !!! thoughts under the cut (this will be extensive bc this series is all im thinking abt fr)
"You saw him as someone who needs a companion but is too scared, maybe too stubborn to reach out. He looked familiar because he looked like you."
really meant to be bc they met for a reason like jk needs oc and oc needs jk they r meant to help eo get better !!!! this is fate
"“Do you regret the decision you made back then?”
Mr. Ri prolongs the silence. He doesn’t meet your eyes when he answers.
“Everyday.”"
this part got me so confused bc i do not remember mr ri talking abt his past ??? turns out it hasn't been revealed yet so omg !!! super intrigued what this could be...my theory is mr ri chose his career/work over the one he loves dk if this is some type of foreshadowing or what
"Taking a seat next to him, you lay your palm out on the table, gesturing for him to give you his hands to treat."
this whole scene just gave me butterflies like !!! oc has such a big big heart, always trying with jk and she is just so persistent but still in a calm and kind way u know ? like she really tries without being too imposing, she is so understanding and that is what exactly jk needs
"He doesn’t like being that bare and uninhibited, especially in front of you, the only person he doesn’t want to scare away."
so sad to see that jk does not realize oc is here to stay like he's shown all his sides he's tried pushing her away but she keeps trying !!! jk pls open ur eyes i beg
"He realizes now that even on days when he hates himself, you’re the one he wants to be around. Somehow you make that hate a little less than before."
this line floored me like i had to put my phone down and calm my breathing for a bit jungkook is just so hard on himself but even on the days where he feels the worst he still wants to be w oc like ??? it just shows how comfortable he is with her and how much he trusts her to let her see his vulnerable side
the bit where they arrived at the office and she got him his favorite lunch and made him nap (LOL) and when he woke up she fixed his tie and coat and !!!!! the way they listen to eo and take care of each other the best duo out there
the way at the end of the week jk noticed that oc has been trying to cheer him up :( she is indeed so patient with him, jk you are so deserving of love and care despite your demons!
and when they call eo by their first names i get all giddy inside <33
enter namjoon our newest character !!!! ngl i was a bit nervous like if he was gonna sweep oc off her feet (understandable tho) but its actually just a job offer hmmm could this be it
"He takes the helmet and puts it on you, and he laughs again like he did at the Arts Center months ago before riding the vehicle."
crying screaming eating my fist its second nature to him to take care of oc first and make sure she's ok he just put the helmet on her no questions asked !! AND CALLED HER CUTE HELLO
THE WHOLE ATV SCENE where she holds onto his waistttttt and "You reach the end of the road and Jungkook lets you get down first, instructing you to hold his arm for support, before following right after." -- he's just so ??? protective ????
i just love how they banter more now like a lot of teasing - shows how theyre more comfortable w eo !
"A bit more time passes before you both decide to head back. He reaches out his hand which you mindlessly take, your fingers instinctively wrapping around his palm."
ch 10/12 they finally held hands but not really and im dying a little bit inside
the team dinner where he stayed inside and oc stayed with him then they went out together !!!! shes knows him so well and she is very understanding but she also kinda pushes him to be a better person
"...but losing you in any way has become his biggest fear."
immmm cryinggggg oh jk just u wait ! cant wait to see the look on ur face when oc gives her resignation letter :D
"“What’s stopping me?” You pant now, your gaze flitting from his eyes back to his lips, with him doing the same. “The ways of the world. And some… boundary that pulls me back, a line that I don’t know he’s ready to cross for me.”"
crying crying CRYING SOBBING ALL OF THE ABOVE oc finally ready to risk it all (or somewhat, as far as we can tell rn) likeeee she's letting jk know how she kinda feels !!! i feel like with all their stolen glances touches etc subtle ways of caring for eo they've been in this sort of limbo just pining for eo and a lot of yearning (cue jungkook irl: its the...yearning?) but oc said that and bam whole relationship on another level idk if im making sense but ya her feelings have finally been verbalized and made known to jk so there
jk caressing her waist then taking a step back and like withdrawing heheheheheheheeheheh brb imma kms (just kidding) but wow does my heart hurt
anw ya this ch was such a rollercoaster to read it got me crying kicking my feet in the air punching the wall and all that and i know there is more angst to come bc hello its mimi !!!!
but ik it will be rewarding and worth it in the end so im excited to see how the remaining chapters turn out
theory for future chapters: oc will pull away and start acting all professional again, jk will either a) try to win her back but not fully like his tactic of pulling her in but not too close but not pushing her away either orrrrr b) let her be professional and put back his walls, THEN arts center will be finished then oc will hand in her resignation letter then jk will grovel then chase her then happy ending YAY
ANW THATS IT BYEEEE
I Want You to Stay (10) | JJK
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; mentions of childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, attempted assault; mention of implied of domestic violence (PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; eventual explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)
Chapter Word count: 20.6k
Series Masterlist
Status: Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist 🎶: on the way home
A/N: Hiii we're close to the end! I've been enjoying this journey with all of you; thank you for being patient, and again for all your love and appreciation for this story. 🥰 Updates will continue to take longer as I continue to work and study. On another note, pls savour this! Hehe
And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight 🥰
PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!
The weekend after your site visits passes by excruciatingly slowly.
You zone out while watching your variety shows the rest of Saturday. On Sunday, you do errands and clean your apartment. Whether you’re lying on the couch or moving about, you find yourself constantly stopping, wondering how Jungkook is doing.
You could say that the trip ended on a good note. The drive back home had you sharing both the silence and conversations about growing up with your friends and finding refuge in your favorite places. He was smiling as you narrated your stories and while he told his. He was engaged most of the time, drifting away for only some short moments before coming back to you.
There was a different emotion in his eyes when you said your goodbye after he dropped you off, though. You could see gratitude in them but also sadness, as if the memories from the night before and from 20 years ago lingered. You know enough about that, too. Good memories can override bad ones sometimes, but in some cases, they only do so for a while, and they can only do so much.
The image of him of looking afraid from that Friday night is etched in your mind. The way he heaved, how he gripped your wrists as if in desperation for the sounds to stop, and the emptiness in his eyes as the thunder continued to roar keep you up at night.
You felt so constrained at that moment. There wasn’t much you could do that would be appropriate, but it doesn’t mean that you didn’t wish you could’ve done something more to comfort him, to tell him that no matter how scared he was, he wasn’t alone. That night and the morning after, you saw the most human side of Jungkook - the one that buries a lot of memories, that deals with pain and loneliness, the part that’s fearful of others seeing him stripped bare, that cowers in his own corner until the storm has passed. You saw him as someone who needs a companion but is too scared, maybe too stubborn to reach out. He looked familiar because he looked like you.
All you could do was hold him in any way, protect him from the monsters outside and maybe within, and show him that whatever hurt, gentleness could make it hurt less; hopefully it could slowly heal the ache, too.
That’s what you learned all these years - all the fear and pain you experienced as a child slowly turned into scars because of your mother’s grace and your best friends’ kindness. You don’t know who gives any of that to Jungkook, and you hoped that during that moment, you were able to give even just a fraction of what you received.
Even if he kept his distance, you stayed close because you knew that that’s when he needed you the most. And you won’t ever forget the way his eyes softened during that ride home; you won’t forget the smile tinged with apology and gratitude that accompanied the silence. You knew it was his way of expressing emotions he couldn’t verbalize and you could only wish that he knew that you accept them, that you understand.
You stop yourself from sending him messages a few times, not wanting to invade his space if he prefers to be alone. Maybe he’s figured out a way to cope. Maybe he’s moved on from the incident and wants to just forget about it. Regardless, the last thing you want is to push him away by being too close, so you do the hard thing and wait for the start of the week to see him again.
You enter the car that Monday morning with Mr. Ri’s soft eyes greeting you. You ask if he’s feeling better and he says he is, expressing his disappointment at not being there to drive you and Jungkook last week.
“How was he?” He asks, knowing that the weather was pretty bad.
“He wasn’t good,” you answer dejectedly. “I think he had a nightmare. I had to calm him down. And he… he told me what happened at that cabin when he was young. I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“It was. He was just a kid. He was only excited about the trip because he thought his parents were joining him and his brother,” the elder man says. “And well, that was when they had to be separated for safety reasons. Then that incident happened. I think he’s carried that resentment towards them ever since.”
“Were you there?”
“I was the one who found him,” Mr. Ri answers, baring his own pain at having witnessed a young Jungkook being so scared. “I noticed he was missing and I searched for over an hour. It was a big area and the ground was wet and I couldn’t hear him because of the rain. When I finally found him, I carried him back and stayed with him until he woke up. He was so frightened and he… he wasn’t the same after. There was this constant fear and this desire to just be left on his own.”
You force the scene of a young Jungkook yelling for someone under the rain out of your mind. Perhaps the detachment in his eyes that you always see is a remnant from that time when he’d felt so helpless and alone. You don’t know how someone can carry that with them for 20 years. You don’t know how someone heals from that either.
“I know he’s not your responsibility, ___. You’ve done so much for him already,” Mr. Ri continues in your silence. “But no one has shown him kindness the way you have and he's learned to accept that now. He needs it the most during those times. If it’s not too much, I hope you can continue doing that.”
“I intend to,” you respond. It had been natural for you to be gentle, to be patient, and reluctant he may have been at the start, you know your persistence helped him as well. “He’s done so much for me and I don’t think I’ll ever get to thank him for that.”
“Is that why, then?” He wonders. “Is all this just to repay him for the times he was there for you? Or is there another reason?”
You meet his eyes in the rear view mirror and the sullen, almost guilty look in yours tells him that there's more. When you look away, he learns it’s something you don’t want to accept, something you don’t want to acknowledge.
“It’s okay, you know?” He says, as if he knows exactly what you’re thinking and maybe he does. “We can’t help what we feel sometimes.”
“It doesn’t mean it’s right.”
“It doesn’t mean it’s always wrong.”
“You know it’s not that simple,” you sigh.
“I know it isn’t. But I just think that being honest about what you feel helps. It may not be easy but you owe it to yourself to find the happiness you deserve.”
“But I don’t know what that looks like.”
“You do,” he insists. “Maybe you’re just scared of what chasing it would mean. But if you allow yourself to truly feel what you feel, then it would be clear what you’d need to do. Just remember that whatever decision you make, you’re gonna have to stand by it, okay? You can’t regret any of it.”
You let his words settle, knowing that they come from a place of pain. But still, you ask a question you’ve been meaning to for a while now.
“Do you regret the decision you made back then?”
Mr. Ri prolongs the silence. He doesn’t meet your eyes when he answers.
“Everyday.”
Your heart breaks for him. You know what he did all those years ago, and knowing that it continues to haunt him pains you. You don’t want that burden. You don’t want one decision to determine how the rest of your life is gonna go with no way to make up for it. You suppose that’s what will happen to you, but you’ve got time to change all that. Maybe you just need the courage to do it.
“The debt I owed kept me from chasing my happiness,” he continues. “You’ve paid yours so don’t let it stop you. You just have to be brave enough for it.”
You nod, meeting his eyes through the mirror this time in understanding and gratitude, letting his words comfort you as you exit the car.
You walk towards Jungkook’s penthouse in anticipation, as the worry of how he’s been creeps in again. The moment you enter, you get your answer, as you hear the sound of leather hitting leather, the loudest it’s ever been. You could hear him heaving, almost breathless with every movement, but he grunts in between, and you hear the frustration in his every breath.
From your position in the kitchen, you can see him in the far right corner of his gym, throwing one punch after another, his face wincing in pain, his body gradually giving in as he slows down. He hugs the punching bag with one arm while his free hand continues to jab at it until eventually, that stops, too. He releases it then spreads his body out on the floor as he tries to catch his breath now. You can feel his exhaustion; there’s desperation, too.
He stays there for a while, and you wonder if he’s releasing whatever negative emotions he’s had these past days just now, or if this is what he’s been doing everyday since he got back.
He sits up, and you look away the moment he glances at your direction. He heads your way, nods at you in acknowledgment, then gulps down the energy drink that he takes from the fridge. His drenched white shirt sticks to his body, but it’s his bruised knuckles that catch your attention. You don’t know if these wounds are from this morning or from the days before but regardless, he acts as if they’re not there. You doubt if he even feels them sting.
Perhaps this is how he copes with anything - tiring himself out, expending all his energy until he’s numb, releasing his emotions in a way that doesn’t require him to be honest or to even say anything. Maybe this is how he accepts; maybe it’s how he moves on and forgets.
He drags himself towards his bedroom then you make your way to his closet to prepare his clothes. You return to the kitchen soon after and decide to make some fried rice. It’s the one dish you make that might make a difference to his mood this morning, so you get to work and cook with what you can, deciding that it’s definitely one of the most delicious ones you’ve ever made.
He finishes his morning routine later than usual. When you walk towards him to fix his tie, you try to hold his gaze, wanting to tell him in your own way that you’re there if he ever wants to talk, but he only glances at you before looking away. You’re unsure of the cause of his somber disposition but the sadness in his eyes causes a crack in your heart. It’s different, you think, and you don’t know how else you can comfort him.
“I made some fried rice,” you tell him as you walk to the dining table.
He follows, taking his seat then quietly eating his meal as you go through his schedule. He merely hums and doesn’t ask questions, only speaking up when you bring up last week’s site visits, with him saying that there’s no rush for that, and that you’ll talk about it some other time. It’s what tells you that what happened last Friday isn’t something he’s really gotten over. Maybe there are still remnants from that night - of fear, of discomfort; perhaps a bit of shame. And you don’t blame him. They’re what you felt after the incident at the restaurant and after your injury. Being helpless in front of someone is confronting; there’s so much of yourself that gets exposed, and you suppose it’s not something that Jungkook is used to.
You share in the silence, glancing at him to see if what you’ve prepared is affecting him in any way, and you don’t miss the subtle satisfied look he makes once he finishes his meal. It’s what prompts you to push it a little. You stand up, take an ice pack from the fridge, then retrieve the first-aid kit from the drawer. Taking a seat next to him, you lay your palm out on the table, gesturing for him to give you his hands to treat.
“There’s no need,” he says, turning away again.
“I let you push my wheelchair,” you remind him. “And I let you dress my foot.”
“You were injured.”
“And you have gashes on your hands,” you point out. “Which means you’re wounded and you can’t leave those exposed. So please, would you let me do this for you?”
There’s a hint of desperation in your voice, as if all you want is for him to give in and let you help him. You’ve been trying to meet his eyes since you arrived and he’s been the coward who avoids it every time. But the last thing he wants is for you to think that he wants to push you away because he doesn’t; he just doesn’t know how to act around you after what happened last Friday. It may have ended with your unspoken forgiveness and your smile telling him that he’ll be alright, that you’ll be alright, but the past days haven’t been good to him.
In an effort to show you that he’s not angry, he moves his hand towards yours ever so slightly. He doesn’t look at you when you take his left hand and put it over your palm, but he does feel his heart skip a beat at your touch. You place the ice pack over his knuckles, then you move it over to his other hand so you can put antiseptic cream on the one that’s free.
You’re so gentle with him even when tending to his wounds. But that shouldn’t come as a surprise, especially now, as he sees you make an effort in letting him know that everything’s okay and that you’re around in case he needs anything.
The thing is, he doesn’t know what he needs right now. After last week’s incident when he blamed you for not checking the weather, he felt ashamed. He’d apologized for how he used to treat you right before that, and then he went ahead and did all that again over a fear of his that he couldn’t get over, one that came to light that night.
You saw it all - that part of him that he despises, that he keeps hidden, that he’s burdened by.
That was another thing - you were the one who woke him up and kept him steady. Perhaps it was a nightmare he was having, but it’s also always been the way his body reacted to the rain and the thunder because of what happened when he was a child. But you saw him bare and terrified, a side of him he wasn’t sure you’d want to see or be around for. You saw him weak and helpless, things he never wants to be in front of other people. You experienced him being honest and not in control, and that made him feel unguarded.
You held him steady though, grounding him when he was slowly losing himself to the fear. Your hands on his head kept him in the present, pulling him back when his mind would travel to that fateful rainy evening in the woods. Your calm and soft voice sounded like a lullaby to him, fighting away the loud sounds that have haunted him for years. It soothed parts of him that were hurting, and you’d done it so naturally, so easily.
It’s what prompted him to share with you the memory he just can’t erase. And you told him that he could call you when it happened again so you can both replace the bad memories with good ones. Maybe you want him to be brave; he thinks that’s not something that he is.
Maybe that’s why he’s been this way since he got home that day. There’s a lot of emotion he doesn’t know how to express nor even properly name. He’s sure they’re negative though, and somehow that makes him even more ashamed. He doesn’t like not being in control. He doesn’t like being that bare and uninhibited, especially in front of you, the only person he doesn’t want to scare away.
He spent the entire weekend boxing and running around the Han River parks in hopes that all the tiredness would help keep his mind off things. But somehow, it always ended up thinking of you. It wanted to hear your voice once more; it wanted your touch.
He has them again today and he feels undeserving. Yet you’re here, healing his physical wounds and everything else that’s hurting within in the ways only you know how to. And he just wants to pull you close. He realizes now that even on days when he hates himself, you’re the one he wants to be around. Somehow you make that hate a little less than before.
“All done,” you say after placing the fabric bandage on his knuckles. “Minimal movements, okay? And ice them when you can in case something’s swollen.”
“I will,” he says softly, retrieving his hand and feeling your touch still linger, knowing he wants more of it.
You proceed to discuss some events he needs to attend all the way to the office with no mentions of how either of your weekends went. He wonders how you spent yours, hoping it was better than his. He wonders, too, if you thought about him the way he thought about you. But you seem focused on work matters for today, perhaps thinking he doesn’t want to talk about anything else. And you wouldn’t be wrong.
He gets to his room where he sighs in relief once he sits on his desk chair. It’s now that he feels the soreness and fatigue, as all he wants is to go home and lay in bed for the rest of the day. But he can’t afford that, so he pushes on, surviving a morning meeting and slowly going through each of his emails. He’s surprised when you serve him his favorite beef brisket for lunch, and your soft smile as he thanks you is his bright spot for the rest of the afternoon.
He powers through reviewing documents right after but his eyes start falling, prompting him to just lean back on his chair for a good few seconds before getting back to work. You knock on the door not long after, and then you place a cup of chamomile tea on his desk.
“I need about five espresso shots, Ms. Cho, not this,” he sighs, the tiredness in his voice evident. But you don’t seem taken aback by his words.
“I disagree, sir,” you reply. “This is to help you calm down. There’s also a couch right there. There’s a reason why it’s big and comfortable.”
He picks up on what you’re suggesting, and he shakes his head in response.
“I’m not gonna sleep here.”
“No one will know,” you shrug. “But you know it’s okay, right? I can’t imagine how tired you must be. You’re not Superman, Mr. Jeon. Plus, Mr. Jung would take naps here after long nights or during hectic days. It’s normal. And it might just be what you need.”
“I’ll decide what I need, Ms. Cho,” he says defensively. “I wouldn’t want my staff sleeping on the job so why should I?”
Jungkook regrets the words right as he says them, especially when he sees your face fall the tiniest bit. But you recover, saying that you understand then turning to head out. But you fix the pillow on the couch and place the blanket on the armrest before leaving, and he knows that your stubbornness is often a reflection of how you care.
So he takes a sip of the tea and eventually finishes it, indulging you in this way, but given the morning he’s had, his body gives in. He decides, like you said, that he needs a nap, and he doesn’t miss the victorious smile on your face that he sees from inside when he calls to instruct you not to disturb him for the next half hour.
With the dim lights and air purifier, he falls asleep right as his body hits the couch. When he wakes up 30 minutes later, he feels infinitely better; now he can focus and be productive.
You see the lights turn back on from outside and it’s your signal that he’s woken up from his nap. You wait a while before asking to enter his room to say that his father requested a meeting due to start in an hour. Jungkook’s putting his coat back on and you walk towards him to help.
“Was it good?” You ask, fixing the creases and aligning his necktie.
“Yeah,” he hums, not meeting your eyes again. “You were right, I needed that. And the couch really is comfortable.”
“That’s good. You should listen to your assistant more often,” you tease.
“I really should,” he smiles now, soft and reserved. “But I do feel better. Thank you.”
You exit his room and feel accomplished. You believe, like what others have told you, that showing him a bit of gentleness will prompt him to be a little gentler to himself, too. He works too hard sometimes, and taking a break when he needs it is one thing, but of course, it’s not everything.
The rest of the week goes by fairly similarly. Jungkook always looks tired, and it makes you wonder if he’s able to sleep properly at night or if he just overexerts himself during his morning workouts. He’s quiet when you’re not discussing work matters, making you miss your casual conversations. And though he acknowledges your occasional teasing remark, he doesn’t tease back like he’s been doing recently.
He has his moments of frustration but he’s mostly serious when you glance at him. He’s less engaging, too, and you suppose that’s what bothers you the most, as you realize that you enjoy talking with him, you enjoy getting to know him through your exchanges, allowing you a peek into his world that you know is reserved for very, very few people.
You suppose that whatever he’s dealing with is something he wants to go through on his own. Accepting your fears is one thing; accepting that you exposed all those to someone else is another. It’s why you try, in your own ways, to lift his spirits, wanting to let him know that he has nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to you.
You get him lunch from his favorite restaurants everyday, you add sweets to his servings of coffee or chocolate milk, you smile at him more, encourage him frequently, and during the times when he seems distant, you don’t completely move away. You reach out just a little bit, hoping that he’ll know that you’re around even when he doesn’t feel much like himself. You don’t want to match his detachment with your own.
It seems that you got your point across. On Friday, he dismisses you after he insists that he wants to stay back to work on a few things.
“___,” he calls out as you’re about to exit his room. “Thank you for being patient with me this week. I… I needed that.”
You turn around and Jungkook doesn’t shy away from meeting your eyes this time. He’s noticed you try to hold his gaze all week; you always lingered, too. Maybe it’s your way of comforting him or saying that you understand him. He felt both of those but he couldn’t find it in him to acknowledge them. There was a lot on his mind as he dealt with the frustration and shame of what happened, of how exposed and unguarded he was in front of you.
But you didn’t complain; you didn’t push him to engage or share anything. Even his moments of frustration were met with kindness and his silence was received with assurance. You tried to cheer him up in whatever way you could, and he could feel you just giving him time to be on his own.
He hopes he didn’t push you away. There were so many times when he just wanted you around so he could see more of your smile and hear the calmness of your voice; those always made him feel better. Whatever fears he had about how you would think of him after the incident have dissipated, as you look softly at him in understanding. He doesn’t need to say anything more, as you seem to know exactly what he means because this whole time, you seemed to also know exactly what he needed.
“I hope you’re feeling better, Jungkook,” you smile. “I’ll see you on Monday.”
Jungkook returns to his usual self the week after. He says he went to one of their properties in Gwangju over the weekend where the weather was good and the long drive helped him stay focused and rejuvenated. He doesn’t say much of what he’s feeling and you expect that, but you’re glad his little trip gave him some peace somehow.
You, on the other hand, were left to deal with your growing feelings for him while downplaying them to your best friends. They came over for their regular visit on Saturday and while they were sympathetic with Jungkook over what happened, they still reminded you to be cautious. Once you cross a line, there’s no going back, and once you fully admit to what you feel, you can’t unfeel it; not acting on it becomes too hard and in your case, complicated.
The week is like any other but with much anticipation, given the upcoming annual team building that everyone’s excited about. This is one of the things that the support team was worried wouldn’t happen under Jungkook’s leadership, but you assured them early on that it was mandatory. And with him having loosened up and feeling more comfortable around them, you have high hopes that he’ll enjoy it as much as everyone will.
It’s why on that Saturday, you find yourself in the mall to buy the things that you’ll be needing for those three days that you’ll be spending in one of the Jeon properties in Gangwon. The venue changes every year and the villas by the lake are perfect for spring this time. Your shopping list includes all the materials for the activities and some other things Jungkook requested, like a certain book that he doesn’t have time to buy.
You enter a bookstore and as you try to find what you’re looking for, something else catches your eye. You may love the library for the space more than the books, but there will always be those that pull you in and make you curious. Even if you only read picture books when you were younger, there were a few short stories and poems that piqued your interest. You never finished them but you did manage to get through several pages.
The one right in front of you - with its pastel colored cover and simple yet intriguing design - feels like one of those. To your delight, it’s a short story collection, and your smile is immediate as you go through the pages, with each story being accompanied by illustrations that feel so personal. This would be a nice read while you’re lounging at the villa’s deck or even on your balcony, you think.
Another book catches your attention. The title is familiar, and you realize it’s one of the classics that you were required to read in high school. It has a new cover, and you see that it’s a new edition to celebrate its 30th year. You go through the pages as well, thinking back to when you had to force yourself to finish this some 15 years ago. It looks more fresh now, and definitely more enticing.
“Did you find what you’re looking for?”
You look up to find a tall man with deep-set eyes as the owner of the voice who’d interrupted your moment of book appreciation.
“I’m okay,” you dismiss him. “I don’t need assistance.”
You politely smile then return the books in their respective spots, ready to head out and search for what you came here to buy.
“Are you not going to get those?” The man presses. “You seemed to be interested in them and—”
“Were you watching me?” You ask, taken aback.
“Uh, no. I mean, not in the way you think,” he answers in panic, seemingly nervous at how it looks. “I wasn’t being creepy or anything I just… I…”
“Do you even work here?” You interrogate him, your alarm bells ringing at this man’s odd behavior and the absence of a nameplate that the other staff have on.
“I actually work for the company that published those books,” he says, his head down as if in embarrassment. “And we just put those out this week and I’m checking around to see people’s reaction and I realize now that it’s incredibly foolish of me to stand around and observe customers because it’s not only creepy, it’s also terribly disrespectful. I’m so sorry.”
There’s guilt in his eyes and it’s something you can recognize. You decide he’s being sincere and engage him a little.
“So… you work at Rkive Publishing?” You ask as you glance at the books. “As what?”
“I’m an editor, actually,” he answers, revealing his shy smile and dimples. “I’ve spent months on these books and thought, what better way to know people’s impression than to see them for myself? It seemed better in my head. I guess I wasn’t being subtle.”
“No, not really. I was kinda having a moment but then you popped out of nowhere,” you say, laughing to ease the tension. “But uh, the covers are stunning. I liked the personal touch of the short story collection and this classic looks a lot more interesting than I remember.”
“That’s uh, that’s good,” he grins, mostly to himself. “Our production team did really well in putting them together and to see the final products is incredibly satisfying, even more so when customers feel the same.”
“I don’t really read books but these just caught my eye. It’s a good way to pull people in,” you admit.
“That’s nice to know,” he smiles again. “I feel pretty fulfilled just knowing they got your attention. Even if you won’t buy them.”
He doesn’t seem like he’s guilt-tripping you but he still apologizes for how it sounds.
“I just… feel really strongly about how these pieces connect with people, even if it’s fleeting,” the man continues. “I just got over excited but thank you for not shunning me away.”
“I don’t think connections are fleeting, though,” you remark, surprising him and even yourself. “Even if it’s a thought or a memory or an impression… they stay with you in one way or another. I mean, every time I enter a bookstore, I’ll probably think about those covers and remember these books and maybe the excitement I felt. That’s still something, isn’t it?”
There’s appreciation in the man’s eyes as he takes in your words.
You may not be a book nerd nor an artsy person but you’ve been more introspective lately about the things around you. You don’t know if it’s the desperation to relate with anything and everything but if there’s one thing that working on the Arts Center has pushed you to do, it’s that pursuit of connection - with your surroundings, with people, and with yourself. You suppose that’s where all this is coming from, and the stranger in front of you whom you’re somehow connecting with right now understands that.
“It is something,” he flashes a smile again, the joy in it radiating and softening his very manly features. “That’s very reassuring, thank you.”
He steps aside and nods, perhaps giving you the space that he thinks he invaded, which in hindsight, you’re glad he did.
You bow in acknowledgment and head towards another aisle to look for that leadership book that Jungkook asked you to get. You immediately find it then make your way home, all the while thinking about your earlier encounter and how the briefest conversations can make you reflect about things and as you learn, lead you down a path you didn’t expect.
To appease your curiosity, you research about Rkive Publishing and learn that it’s a ten-year old company that works with up-and-coming local authors. It has also taken on special projects such as publishing classics for their milestone releases and some translated works. The man you met, who happens to be the editorial director, is a poet as well but apparently finds as much happiness in putting pieces out for people to enjoy as he does in writing them himself. He doesn’t seem that much older than you but he’s seen the world and in the eyes of an artist, you can’t imagine how beautiful and heartbreaking that must be.
You go down a rabbit hole of reading some of his poems and even some interviews he’d done when he set up the company years ago. You learn that he loves to write about the complexity of relationships, the fragility of human emotions, and the search for permanence in an impermanent world.
His words are captivating. You want to pick apart his brain to know more about what he thinks about humans’ need for connection despite our fear of them. You want to know what makes love the way it is, why it creates and sustains and ruins those who feel and have them. You want to know if he thinks that each person is capable of love, if that’s what makes us human, or if our humanness derives from the inadequacy of love - of what we give and what we receive.
You read a bit more about the books they’ve published and the authors they’ve worked with over the years. It’s midnight by the time you finish, and other than deciding that you’ll go back tomorrow to buy that short story book collection, one other thing fills your mind - the thought that there’s a reason for that encounter earlier, and it’s probably to lead you to finding this company and the production officer position that happens to be currently vacant.
The soft eyes that greet you from across the table where the books are placed is a welcome sight this time. The man from yesterday flashes you a shy smile and you greet him with your own.
“I didn’t expect to see you so soon but I’m glad that you’re here,” he says as he approaches you.
You raise the book you intend to buy. “Connections aren’t fleeting,” you remind him. “I couldn’t really stop thinking about this since yesterday. And uh, curiosity got to me and I looked up Rkive Publishing. You’re doing great work. I read that you’re working on translations of several books, too.”
His eyes light up as he talks about wanting to attract a wider audience, given the increasing interest in Korean culture. The story of your people appeals to many because it’s shared, and he says that’s one beauty of art in whatever form - the meanings are endless, and they weave together to form something enduring and constant. That’s what he and his mother hoped for the company when they founded it a decade ago, he narrates, and he has the tough task of creating that avenue for such art to affect more people without diluting its meaning.
“I’m sorry, I’m rambling again,” he shakes his head. “I just get so… yeah. I’ve just never met a buyer who actually searched us up after seeing our books on the shelf. I’m trying to engage more people. Our sales team said that’s one way to establish our presence.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” you assure him. “I may not be as passionate about anything as you but I understand feeling strongly about something. And if I’m being honest… there’s another thing that caught my eye about your company.”
“What is it?”
“You have an opening for the production officer position. I… I was impressed and looked up career options.”
“Ah, so you’re interested then?” He asks excitedly.
“I am. Although I don’t have any experience in publishing or anything related to books or literature for that matter.”
“Relevant experience is the qualification,” he hums. “I’d ask more but I can do so during the interview. What do you say?”
“That’s if I’ll make the shortlist,” you laugh. “Although I suppose my executive assistant experience is relevant enough.”
“Oh, it definitely is. That is no easy task.”
“Well, I hope meeting you like this won’t make any future application inappropriate,” you say.
“Not at all. That position has been vacant for a while. And we’re looking for two. It’s not always the role that those in the industry go for. I suppose it’s made for those looking for a career change,” he playfully winks. “But seriously though, think of this encounter as part of the process. You’ve done your research about us anyway, which kind of means you’re already a step ahead. It’s only a matter of actually applying, which I hope you do.”
“It’s an option,” you hum. “This wasn’t something I initially considered but it’s amazing how certain moments shape our decisions, isn’t it? I mean, they’re not really fleeting.”
“Of course,” he nods, thinking back to your comment from yesterday. “It’s all about being open, so please think about it. I may not know anything about your credentials but talking with you has already given me insight into what you think about our work and the power of stories. And that’s very important to me.”
“I still have a lot going on but I’ll definitely keep you in mind. I hope the position is still open when the time comes.”
“If it’s meant to be then it will be,” he assures you. “I’m Namjoon, by the way.”
“I know,” you giggle, taking the business card that he hands out. “And I’m ___. I’ll see you around.”
His smile is the last thing you see before you head out the store with your purchased book in hand. And as you lay in bed that night, the possibilities of taking on a new journey play in your mind.
There’s the connection to the good memories of your childhood and the unloading of the burdens you carry. There’s being around people you’re not tied or indebted to and there’s forging your own way towards a path that you deliberately chose.
But there’s also Jungkook, whom you can’t stop thinking about and who happens to be a hindrance when it comes to pursuing your own goals in life. Those goals include happiness and freedom even if ironically, those are the things he also gives you. There’s the new emotions he makes you feel, the connection you can’t deny you have with him, and the desire that constantly eats you up inside.
You’ve always had your feet inside your walls with your hand on the door, just waiting for the courage to finally step out. The only thing stopping you is Jungkook and all the other possibilities with him. They may remain unrealized but they’re there. You just hope that one day you’ll convince yourself that walking away from him was exactly the thing you had to do.
You watch in awe as Yohan loads the last crate of food in the rented van you’ll be using for this weekend’s team building in some lakeside property in Gangwon. The trunk is filled with all sorts of meat and vegetables, chips, and alcohol that seem to be good for a tribe of more than 10, way more than your team of seven.
“You do know we’re only there for three days, right?” You remind the younger man. “I don’t think we eat this much.”
“Don’t you know Do-hyun?” Yohan says. “She’s half my size but she eats twice as much as I do. And I eat a lot. Plus, the guy she was seeing ghosted her so she’s probably gonna eat even more. Heartbreak shit, you know?”
“I don’t,” you chuckle, although you can’t help but feel bad again for Do-hyun whom you had to comfort not long ago because of her boy problems. “But are you sure these are all within budget?”
“Yes. Chin-sun is a master at bargaining. And, because we’re such a good team, Mr. Min and Mr. Jung gave us some of their favorite liquor,” Yohan hums satisfyingly. “Those smell expensive. So yeah, we didn’t have to spend much on alcohol since Mr. Jeon brought some, too, which is why we got to buy all this food.”
“Fine, but we can’t have drunken shenanigans, okay? I don’t have the energy to babysit you guys. And Mr. Jeon is no weakling; he’ll be awake to see you misbehave if you do.”
“We’ll go as far as incredibly out-of-tune karaoke singing, we promise,” Yohan laughs, learning his lesson after last year’s midnight swim in the freezing cold river where he almost got swept away.
Hoseok was thankfully passed out and did not witness the almost-emergency. You had to remind your team that though you’ll be going on a team-building - which is really just an excuse for the staff to eat and drink in some scenic venue - there are still rules in place, and it would be best not to give Jungkook any problem, given the progress that you’ve all made.
You enter the car then leave the office - your meet up place - to take the long drive to your destination. You just got the message from Mr. Ri that they’re almost there; they left much earlier so that Jungkook could make it to a virtual meeting with Hoseok and his father.
The ride starts off peaceful, as everyone is still slowly waking up. Halfway through, it becomes chaotic, with Do-hyun and Yohan arguing about who’ll be on cleaning duties on which days as the youngest ones on the team. You laugh along, knowing you’ll end up helping them anyway, but you look out the window and wonder how Jungkook is doing.
He’s been incredibly busy leading to today, with several site visits to the Arts Center and meetings with the project teams multiple times the past two weeks. He’s been staying late in the office, too, and working on the weekends. You know, because you get the odd-hour emails and find portfolios on your desk in the morning. Despite the work that he still has to squeeze in during this weekend, you hope he gets a bit of rest. More than that, you hope he finds time to be with the team and bond with them. Only you know this may be your last, and you want to keep the memories of these three days and make sure they’re good ones.
You arrive at the place and look around, amazed at every corner and every space you set your eyes on. You know that the Jeon family has dozens of properties in scenic locations that they escape to or put out for rent. This lakeside estate is one of a few you haven’t been to yet, and there’s a reason why Jungkook wanted this to be your venue this year. It’s spacious with lots of things to do and the view is absolutely stunning. Lush mountains frame the sparkling body of water, and with the breeze of spring, it’s every bit relaxing as you hoped.
It’s quiet as the rest of the team walks around in awe. The main house boasts of a large kitchen and living space and it’s surrounded by four two-bedroom villas with their own decks. You, Chin-sun, and Do-hyun head to one while Yohan and Manager Lee head to another. You give yourselves half an hour to fix up before reconvening and when you do, you immediately smile upon seeing Jungkook already waiting.
He greets the team, formally welcomes you all, then talks about the property and all its amenities. He discusses what’s in store for these next three days, then he proceeds with the first activity, which is really the only work-related thing you’re all required to do.
Jungkook facilitates the session, and he starts by asking everyone to reflect on all the gains and challenges this past year. He instructs each of you to share your team highs and lows, what enabled you to achieve the successes and overcome the difficulties, what caused you the most stress, and what you’re most thankful for. Every answer is met with confirming nods and statements, and it seems that everyone is on the same page about how the year went.
The session highlights your team dynamics - you’re all very encouraging of each other, but it doesn’t stop the young ones from bickering and teasing the rest of you. It’s fun though, as you end the hour with laughter and more memories to take with you. You glance at Jungkook who seems satisfied with every response; you hope he’s proud of how he managed everything, too, and you make sure you mention it during your turn. The smile he makes when everyone agrees warms your heart in a way you don’t expect, even more so when he holds your gaze when he thanks the team in return.
You’re rewarded with a hearty lunch an hour later, and not long after, you find yourselves near the deck of the lake, discussing how to spend your two hours of free time before the next activity.
Chin-sun and Manager Lee decide on just laying on the lounge chairs to soak up the sun. Yohan gets on a jet-ski while Do-hyun flounders about in the lake. Sipping your beer, you lean on one of the tables and savor the fresh air.
There’s not much of this in the city, and the silence - save for the young ones’ laughter in the background - is definitely worth the long ride and the backlog you’ll be having once the weekend is over. You’re not really one to stay outdoors. You’d much rather stay inside, under the covers where you could watch movies or variety shows. That was always how you preserved your peace. Being outside always intimidated you, and you think now it’s probably because you just haven’t seen that many beautiful views like this in your life. If this is what’s outside your window everyday, you’d probably be out all the time.
“___, are you just gonna stay there? The water’s amazing,” Do-hyun whines as she approaches you. “Or sunbathe if you don’t want to get wet. Just get out there.”
“I’m content just watching you enjoy yourselves,” you say. “I can see the view just fine from here.”
“It’s much better up close,” she counters, standing next to you now. “Come on, this is your time to let loose since you have the permission to do so. Mr. Jeon isn’t gonna be a killjoy and watch your every move, you know? If he will, then I will…”
“You will what?” You laugh.
“I will tell him he’s being a killjoy. How often can we be in a place as beautiful as this?”
“Do-hyun’s right,” Jungkook says as he appears to your left, catching both of you off guard and prompting Do-hyun to sweetly smile at him. He’s in shorts and a loose long-sleeve shirt, perhaps ready to enjoy the outdoors as well. “The place is too beautiful for you to just sit back and watch.”
“And what will you do?” You raise an eyebrow at him.
“Sit back and watch,” he shrugs, earning him a laugh from you and Do-hyun. “And enjoy my beer. That’s how I relax.”
“Please don’t be boring,” Do-hyun pouts at him, embracing that little sister energy that you’ve all come to love. “You should know, Mr. Jeon, Yohan is being all cocky, saying that he’s the best jet ski rider among all of us here. I have a feeling that he’s wrong, so please show him who’s boss. I mean, you are, obviously. But, you know what I mean.”
“I think I do,” Jungkook chuckles, putting down his drink and looking out into the lake. “But sure. I haven’t ridden one in a while but let’s see how I go.”
Jungkook walks towards the water then unknots the other jet ski. He removes his shirt and wears the life vest before riding towards where Yohan is. The view of him half-naked triggers memories of all the times you’ve seen him like that, times when you’d look away and keep yourself from thinking inappropriate thoughts. It’s no different this time, but somehow, it’s much harder to keep your heart from racing this fast.
“Holy fuck,” Do-hyun gasps next to you. “Please don’t report me but shit, ___. Whoever’s doing Mr. Jeon is one lucky woman. I mean, look at that. And who knew he had a full sleeve of tattoo? That is so freaking hot.”
From your periphery, you could see her shocked face but you merely hum in response. You don’t want to get carried away by your own expletives because there really aren’t enough curses in the dictionary when it comes to describing Jungkook’s body.
“You don’t seem surprised,” she looks at you curiously. “And you’re not affected. You’ve seen it before, haven’t you?”
“Of course I have. I’m with him everyday,” you say nonchalantly.
“In clothes, I would assume.”
“He works out every morning and he’s in sleeveless tops sometimes,” you clarify. “Obviously I’ve seen his arm.”
She furrows her brows as if she doesn’t believe you, even if you’re telling the truth. There are just other parts of that story that you don’t want to share.
“Hmm, fair enough,” she gives in. “But I’d probably be constantly flustered or even crushing on him if I were you. So how have you managed being around him and not being attracted all this time knowing he looks like that?”
You’re forced to look at Do-hyun, as you try to find the words to say, when she answers her own question.
“Right, he can be quite detached and too serious and he’s a playboy and—”
“You also forget that I am his assistant and he is my boss,” you remind her. “Thoughts like that—”
“Are perfectly normal,” she interjects. “And totally understandable. He’s a hot bachelor, ____. I wouldn’t be able to function professionally if I were in your shoes. Which is why it’s great that I’m here and you’re the one in that position.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I might lose this job if I lose my shit every time because my boss is so hot,” she reasons. “And it’s not just me. I’ve seen the female staff lose their cool around him just because he spoke to them or looked their way. It’s kind of embarrassing. But I guess the broody, asshole-y vibes add to that. And then there’s you who’s in his apartment every morning and heavens know what you’ve seen or heard since we all know that the rumors about his dating life are true and you seem fine and totally unbothered.”
You want to laugh at how completely off Do-hyun is with her observations. Sure, you tried to be cool about it at the beginning and you mostly succeeded in being calm whenever you came close or saw any part of his body exposed.
But somewhere along the way, things changed. When you saw the layers underneath, he wasn’t just attractive physically; he was suddenly so much more. That somehow made it harder but it also made all the restraint worth it. But that’s not something you want to divulge to Do-hyun. No matter how difficult, you know you need to keep yourself together and stop the feelings from going any deeper.
“Well, just like you, I can’t lose my job and I will if I let it affect me,” you say. “But if I may say so… there’s definitely more to the broody, serious man we met almost a year ago.”
“Hmm, I guess that’s true. He’s definitely more thoughtful than I expected. Maybe a little funny, too. But that’s really all I know. He just seems too reserved, you know? Seeing him do something like ride a jet ski or laugh with us feels like such a luxury for a man like him,” Do-hyun adds. “It must be hard to get to know him beyond all this. I know it sure is hard to love someone like that.”
You know that Do-hyun’s merely projecting. The recent guy she was seeing was a lot more shy and private than the ones she’s dated before. But she got him to open up and she thought that was it, that she’d broken through his walls and they’d be permanently down for her, only to realize it wasn’t the case. He was distant for a few days and she tried to get through again only for him to completely shut her out; she hasn’t heard from him in weeks.
It’s probably why you agree. People who keep their distance and disengage whenever they want are hard to love. You’d know because you’re like that. It hits you hard knowing that Jungkook is probably the same.
Snapping out of your thoughts, you and Do-hyun watch Jungkook and Yohan outride one another, splashing each other with water and screaming in excitement when they speed up. Seeing this other side of Jungkook does something to you again, and the sight of his smile as he dries his hair while teasing Yohan triggers the butterflies in your belly.
He approaches you - thankfully with his shirt on this time - and you suddenly feel too hot. He tells you that the water’s nice and you should get in, but you’re too self-conscious now, so you compromise and say you’ll just dip your feet in the water while you sit on the steps that lead down to the lake.
That’s how you spend the rest of the hour, as Chin-sun, Manager Lee, and Do-hyun join Yohan in swimming while Jungkook stays back, watching you all from afar. You glance at him a few times and he catches your eyes. He lifts his can in cheers and you do the same. He heads to where you are some time after with five cans of beer then walks back to his room, and you suddenly miss his presence. You wish he was next to you, perhaps laughing or talking about something random or just sitting with you in silence. You’ve learned that last bit brings you a lot of comfort and peace; the view somehow isn’t as beautiful when you aren’t sharing it with him.
It’s an hour later, after having dried and fixed up, when you’re all on the basketball court to start the next activity that Mr. Ri prepared. Divided into teams of two, each pair is assigned a path that leads to either the mountain, the woods, or the stream to find bags of coins needed to “purchase” materials to create a science experiment-type water rocket. It’s meant to practice your communication and problem-solving skills with those you work most closely with, which is why Chin-sun and Do-hyun, and Manager Lee and Yohan are paired up respectively while you, of course, end up with Jungkook.
“The caretakers and I spent all morning preparing this game, so please take it seriously,” Mr Ri says. “And bond with each other while you’re at it.”
You see the competitiveness in the young ones’ eyes, especially when it’s announced that there’s a prize for the winners, and you like the energy. Being Jungkook’s partner, you know it’s just about completing the task and somehow, it’s the bonding bit that makes you nervous. You already know you’re going to like it, which is precisely why it terrifies you.
“There are ATVs for each team which you will ride to the start of the path. You’ll have to go by foot when you get there or else you’ll miss the bags of coins,” Mr. Ri instructs. “You have walkie-talkies to reach me in case you get lost but please don’t. And try to be back here in an hour. All clear?”
You all express your acknowledgement and he signals the start. The other teams rush to their rides and quickly drive off while you and Jungkook stroll to yours.
He takes the helmet and puts it on you, and he laughs again like he did at the Arts Center months ago before riding the vehicle.
“I should’ve expected that,” you pout.
“Which?”
“That you’ll laugh at me again.”
“It looks cute on you,” he says casually before riding the vehicle.
Your eyes widen at his words and you’re glad he has his back turned on you. That way he can’t see the way you’re trying to hold your smile and suppress the giddy feeling at his remark. It makes it that much harder for you to climb up behind him though, but you manage, and you ensure there’s some distance between you and him, knowing how you tend to be when you get close.
Jungkook, on the other hand, internally smacks himself after he says the words. He didn’t mean for the thoughts in his head to actually come out. He’s glad he didn’t see your probably awkward expression, and that right now, he needs to focus on the road. That way, he can preoccupy himself with your safety and not his embarrassment.
He means it though. There’s something about you in a helmet that gets him, or even in anything oversized, like his jacket that he made you wear once. There’s also something about you wading in the water and laughing so freely that make his insides melt. Anything you do actually triggers something in him - a protective side, a care-free side; a side that wants to take a pause and bask in the scenery that includes you.
Now he has to act like he’s not affected with you sitting behind him as he drives the ATV down the rugged path. He feels you far from him, sitting close to the edge and holding onto the handles behind you. But as the road gets rockier, he starts to get worried.
“You should hold onto me,” he says, turning his head to the side so you could hear him before slowing down. “It’s safer that way.”
It takes a few seconds but he feels you move closer to him, your arms slowly wrapping around his torso. It’s a bit loose but it’s enough for his breathing to quicken.
“Is… is this okay?” You softly ask.
“Yeah,” he manages to say. “It’s a bit rocky out here so be careful. You can, uh, you can hold on tighter if you feel unstable.”
You hum in response but you maintain your position. He supposes you don’t know how bumpy it could be. It makes him worry and he wishes you’d grab onto him more only because he’s afraid you’d fall, and that’s exactly what happens after the first big bump.
You yelp, tightening your grip around him immediately. He feels his heart stop, unprepared to have your arms around his waist and your chest flushed against his back even if that’s what he’d suggested you do. He’s felt you close in several instances already, but each time feels different. It affects him the same way though - all he wants is to have you even closer.
But that’s not something he can think of right now, especially when you’re both alone, in a place that’s conducive to letting his inhibitions go.
It’s calm and peaceful out here. There’s a lot of open space but he enjoys it more when he’s looking at it from the comforts of the balcony or the deck. He always prefers to stay indoors because the outdoors somehow make him feel more constricted; he supposes that being trapped in the woods as a child would do that to anyone. He’s always just been a spectator, watching everything from behind the safety of his walls, knowing that he could feel a bit unsteady out there.
But ever since you got here and he’d seen you enjoy the surroundings, all he’s felt was the stability of having you near him. That, ironically, scares him, too. The more he’s comfortable with you, the more worried he becomes. So he settles on what he knows how to do - keeping you at a fair distance but creating moments here and there, only so you don’t think he’s pushing you away or detaching himself.
You decide to just hold onto Jungkook for safety purposes. You didn’t realize that the path towards the stream is this rocky, but you suppose it should be since you’re in the undeveloped part of the property. It's probably why he asked you to hold onto him; he’s your safety precaution and you know enough that he wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you.
He’s steady and skilled in navigating the ATV, avoiding the big bumps and alerting you when there’s going to be one. It’s actually quite attractive. He feels so nice like this, with his soft hoodie and natural scent, and you have to pull away every once in a while so as not to get too comfortable. You can’t let yourself imagine this to be a possibility beyond today, you remind yourself. He can’t be someone you constantly seek, that you could fall into, even if that’s pretty much where you’re at at this point.
You reach the end of the road and Jungkook lets you get down first, instructing you to hold his arm for support, before following right after. You walk towards the mark that signifies the start of the path where you’re supposed to find the bags of coins, and you look around to see that there are more shrubs than trees. It feels a little less constricting compared to if you were in the mountains or the woods, which is why you think Mr. Ri assigned this to both of you.
You and Jungkook start searching, and with the topography of the place, it’s easy to spot the bags that are hanging from the tree branches. You point one out and Jungkook steps on the hollowed out trunk to retrieve it. You stand by watching, reminding him to be careful. And though you tell yourself to focus on the bag, you can’t help but glance at the sight of him - in his light gray sweatpants and hooded sweatshirt, looking casual and comfortable and even more attractive.
It doesn’t help when he reaches out towards the branch while you stay on a spot below him, and the view of him from this angle leaves you quite breathless. Not only does his hoodie rise up to reveal his waist and that lower half of his torso that you’d held onto earlier, but you also get a peek of the band of his underwear, too. Your mind short-circuits for the briefest moment, even more when he stretches even more to pull the bag towards him, and you’re able to snap out of it in time, as you watch him slowly make his way down.
“Watch your step, watch your step!” You call out.
He easily descends, and with his smug face, he lifts the bag for you to see.
“Do you not have faith in my tree-climbing capabilities?” he asks you.
“It’s just not something I’ve seen you do before,” you shrug, acting nonchalantly as you return to walking down the path.
“So, were you worried?”
“Uhm, yes? I can’t have an injured Vice President on my watch,” you exclaim, earning you a laugh. “How am I gonna transport you out of this dirt road and back to the house? I can barely keep still as a passenger on the ATV.”
“Well, I could get hurt but I definitely won’t be immobile,” he points out. “I won’t be a hard person to help.”
“Right… I’m the one who gets injured and then can’t walk.”
He frowns at you at the reminder, and you counter that it’s okay for you to make fun of your injury but that he’s right, he probably won’t be as injured as you. You wave him off, hoping that you don’t have to deal with an incapacitated version of him during this game. You also won’t be able to handle worrying about him without giving too much away.
You return your focus on finding the other bags. There are those hidden behind rocks and in shallow holes; you know because of the shovel next to them. There’s another one tied around the trunk of the tree, and you have to hold your breath again when Jungkook climbs up to get it.
As expected, you have good teamwork. You section off areas to search at and quickly find what you’re looking for. You go for the ones you can get and then ask him to reach for the ones you can’t. There’s some bickering in between, with him pretending that he’s stuck or caught on something while you panic and then pout at him for scaring you. But there are some moments of silence, too, where you walk side by side and bask in the scent of your surroundings. Either way, it’s time that you enjoy just being around him, taking in the environment that you often stayed away from. With him, it’s a lot less scary and definitely more freeing.
When you’re down to your last one, you and Jungkook think that Mr. Ri would hide it somewhere near the end of the path, so you both decide to just take in your surroundings as you stroll towards the stream.
“So, nature smells like this, huh?” you hum. “It’s quite comforting.”
“It is,” he says. “I forget sometimes. It’s nice to remember.”
“Don’t you spend a lot of time outdoors?” You wonder. “You’ve mentioned driving out to some of your properties with views like this. I’d assume you stay out and enjoy the scenery.”
“I do enjoy the scenery… just from inside,” he chuckles, knowing the irony of his words. “It’s just more comfortable that way, I guess. So I appreciate being forced to go outside this weekend.”
“At least you’re not alone, right?”
“That’s true.”
“I’m the same,” you say. “I don’t go out much. I mean, I’m often on my own so I just stay indoors but I do enjoy the scenery when I’m with others. It feels too lonely when you’re by yourself. To be something so small in a world so big… It's kind of scary.”
“Well, I’m here with you. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
You don’t think Jungkook will ever know the weight of his words and just how wrong he is. To be in a place so beautiful with him next to you… it’s everything you’re scared of. You’ve come to appreciate a lot of things because of him. You’ve come to want more when you shouldn’t because of him. You always find yourself in a state of push-and-pull with your emotions when it comes to him, knowing that he’s someone you can’t have. He’ll always be out of reach no matter how close he is. He’ll always hinder you from the kind of life you want to have even if that includes him.
The logical part of you wants to keep your distance, to not create any more memories that will haunt you and that you’ll miss. But the stubborn part of you wants you to hold onto this to remind you that beautiful things are tangible and he’s the one thing you can see and hear; maybe he’s something you can touch, too.
The latter one wins, so you slow your pace, take in the sight before you, and decide that this is a memory you’ll want to keep. You take the disposable camera from your pouch, something you bought the other week specifically for this trip, knowing it might be your last. You take a photo of the sky, then of the path ahead of you, then of the stream, making sure there’s a bit of him in there - a mop of hair, a portion of his arm, his shadow.
It’s then that you see the last bright red bag on one of the big rocks near the water’s edge.
“Oh, there it is,” you say, immediately walking towards it.
You look around and strategize how you’ll get to the rock safely but Jungkook insists that he’ll be the one to get it.
“You’ve gotten all the tricky ones,” you argue, given that he’d climbed the tree and crawled under the shrub because your leggings were too thin and wouldn’t be able to protect you from the thorny branches. “I can get this.”
“It might be slippery.”
“I have good balance,” you lie.
“Uh, I clearly remember that you don’t.”
“Hey,” you pout at him, knowing he’s referring to that time you tripped on yourself during one of your Arts Center visits. “It was the heels. That’s clearly not a problem this time.”
You step on the wet stones and balance your way as they lead towards the big rock, with Jungkook repeatedly telling you to be careful. His voice just gets louder and louder, but you turn around and see that he’s actually just following you. It’s your mistake, as your loss of focus causes you to slip on one of the rocks and almost lose your balance. Fortunately, it doesn’t make you fall on your ass. Your foot merely slides to the side, barely missing the water, which is really fine, but Jungkook doesn’t think so.
“Don’t move until you’re stable,” he instructs, holding out his hand for you to take, prompting you to look at him questioningly. “That’s the foot you injured. You can’t risk spraining it again. Just take my hand or hold my wrist so you can safely get the bag.”
You do as he says, grabbing his forearm so you can stabilize yourself. You let him go once you do, then you turn and take a few small steps to get what you need. He stays close to you though, and once you retrieve the bag, you turn towards him with a proud smile and announce that half of your task has been completed.
“You’re incredibly stubborn, you know that?” He says instead, his firm voice a contrast to his playful frown.
“And you are quite the nagger,” you hit back. “I wouldn’t have slipped if I hadn’t turned and I wouldn’t have done that if you weren’t so noisy.”
“Sure, it’s my fault. Sorry for caring about your safety,” he shakes his head.
“Well, you were underestimating me,” you frown now. “I could’ve done all this without your help.”
“Really?” He challenges.
“Yes,” you stand your ground. “Although I would still need your help to get back to land.”
It’s what makes him laugh, and the way his eyes light up and crinkle makes your heart race. He has such a sweet sound, and you wish you could hear more of it.
“I figured. Let’s go, then.”
“Wait,” you stop him and check your watch. “We still have time. Can we stay for a bit? The water’s quite nice and the view of the mountains is prettier from here.”
Jungkook looks around. The mountain range from far away looks majestic from this angle, and with the sun about to set soon, the way the light shines on the water is just as beautiful.
“Okay then,” he says, wanting to savor this as well.
You just said you don’t go out much, and maybe like what he feels, being with him makes you want to take it all in; maybe it makes you feel less scared.
You both find dry rocks to sit at and it’s the perfect spot for you to take more photos, so you take out your camera and see which angles look best.
“Did you buy that for this trip?” he asks.
“Yeah. I knew the sights would be beautiful. I just wanted to keep something from here,” you explain.
“Give it to me then,” he says, reaching out his hand and gesturing towards your camera. “Let me take one of you so you’ll always remember.”
You hand it over to him then suddenly feel awkward at how you’re supposed to pose. You stay seated with your legs just slightly bent but are unsure of where you’re supposed to look. It feels a little too tense if you look at his direction, even if that’s what you should be doing.
“It’s free to smile, you know? That’s what people usually do for photos,” he says, causing you to giggle. He takes the photo right then, and you have an idea he caught your smile at the right time.
“Was that a trick?” You ask.
“Sort of. I knew you were gonna think of how bold it was of me to say that, considering that I barely even smile.”
“Wow, I can’t even tease you anymore because you already know what I’m gonna say.”
“I know sometimes you can’t help but just tease me like that. I know you too well,” he smugly says. “But I think I got a good photo. You’re welcome.”
You laugh at his playfulness, knowing it’s rare for him to show that side of him. So you ask for your camera back and decide you want him to be part of this particular memory. You hold it out and turn towards him.
“May I?” You ask.
“Uh, yeah, I guess,” he hums. “I just don’t know how to smile.”
You giggle again and you’re quick enough to catch the brief moment when he lets out a short laugh.
You look at him softly, as if there’s more you want to say - that you’ll keep this close to you so you’ll remember what his smile looks like, that he’s something beautiful you can hear and see, that you feel so safe out here with him, and that you hope he’ll remember this, too.
But you look away before any of the words make it out.
You think to just quietly savor this, as you bask in the sounds of the cicadas and the flow of the water and the rustling of the leaves. You’re so small in this big world, but being with Jungkook makes things a little less scary. With him, you don’t feel so alone.
A bit more time passes before you both decide to head back. He reaches out his hand which you mindlessly take, your fingers instinctively wrapping around his palm. You’re too focused on your steps that you only realize you’re still holding him once you both safely make it to dry land. But it’s also at that moment when he lets go. Though a part of you wishes he’d drag the illusion a bit more, you’re also glad he didn’t; you would’ve probably held on longer if he didn’t pull away.
The silence continues as you both walk back to the start of the path, but he stays near you, occasionally asking if you’re tired or cold. You make it to the ATV and you hold onto his waist again with no instructions needed this time. He drives a bit faster than earlier but you feel safe and steady, and there’s something natural about the way you’re clinging to him for support. Part of the illusion as well, you think, but that ends, too.
You’re the last one back to the villas but you and Jungkook quickly make up some ground in assembling the water rocket. It was mostly him, though, as he says that he tinkers around and easily figures these things out. Do-hyun and Chin-sun feel the pressure as you catch up, and they shriek as they slowly feel the win slipping away from them. But then Jungkook holds onto the last piece and lets them win instead. The way they celebrate after their rocket successfully launches makes it feel worth it; you don’t feel bad about it at all. If anything, you expected he’d let either of the other two teams finish first.
After the winners are handed out hotel accommodation gift cards, Jungkook excuses himself to get a bit of work done while the rest of the team prepares for dinner. The team works on your assigned tasks of preparing the grill and slicing the vegetables, while you cook your famed fried rice after Do-hyun convinced you that it would heal her broken heart. Seated outside with the cool evening air, you all wait for Jungkook before starting.
“Mr. Jeon said he’ll just message me once he’s ready to eat,” Mr. Ri says as he takes his seat. “We can start without him.”
“But it’s not a team dinner without him,” Do-hyun whines. “He should take a break from working and spend time with us.”
“I’m sure he wants that, too,” you say. “Let’s just give him some time, maybe there’s something urgent he needs to do. Let’s just enjoy our meal and leave some food for him.”
Everyone dives in once the meat is cooked, and there’s a consensus that your fried rice is definitely worth all the hype. The laughter and teasing immediately start, and you wish Jungkook was here to enjoy it with you. You constantly glance at his villa, noting the dim lights, and you wonder what has him holed up inside this time, knowing he didn’t plan on working too much while he’s here.
It’s one hour later when you decide that he’s gone too long without having dinner, so you take portions of everything and set them on a tray.
“Wait, let me make him a drink. Hopefully that’ll convince him to come out,” Yohan says.
Managing to carry everything, you head towards Jungkook’s villa, and when he opens the door after your constant bell-ringing, he looks at you in surprise.
“The team’s been wondering when you were coming out,” you say. “You might be in there because of work, but I’m not fully convinced. Whatever it is, the food’s too delicious for you to not have a taste, so I brought you some.”
You raise the tray that you placed on the small table outside and flash him a smile. He nods in acknowledgement and takes it from you but you don’t leave just yet.
“I hope you’re not working anymore,” you say.
“I only did for a while,” he replies. “I… got a bit tired.”
“I’ve seen you workout in the morning and work all day after only having three hours of sleep, Jungkook. You wouldn’t get tired from just a jet ski ride and some scavenger hunt,” you raise an eyebrow.
He lets out a dry laugh before heading to the dining room. He leaves the door open so you follow him inside.
“I mean I’m socially tired. Isn’t that a thing?”
“Gee, I didn’t think that spending time with me outdoors drained your energy so much,” you frown.
Your playful pout tells him you’re teasing. He sure hopes it’s not what you really feel. It’s the opposite, in fact. He felt relieved of a lot of things during that hour that he walked around and breathed in the fresh air with you. And you both had moments - comforting glances, the shared silence… the fleeting touches that made him want more. You’re everything new and familiar and he wants to know how it’s like to have you close to him.
He knows it’s a desire he can’t act on, not just because he’s your superior but also because he can’t imagine you feeling a fraction of what he feels. It’s tempting to mistake your kindness for something more, and he’d fall into it if only hoping didn’t lead to disappointment. But like what Yoongi had said before, it’s how you naturally are, even as someone who prefers to be alone. Whatever type of friendship you offer is all that it is - friendship.
Jungkook clearly doesn’t deserve you. It’s not just because of the way he treated you at the beginning but because even until now, whenever he pulls away, you’re always the first one who reaches out. He’s scared that anything he does might push you away, and that’s the last thing he wants. He’ll keep you at a distance for as much as he can and for as long as you’re around. He can handle that, but losing you in any way has become his biggest fear.
That’s why he needed to be on his own after your time together in such a casual and comfortable environment. It’s easy to want that with you and to think that he can have it. Pulling away has always been his default when dealing with things he can’t control, and earlier, he just couldn’t control his mind and his heart.
But you’re here now, having knocked on his door like you always do, wondering if he’ll come out.
“I brought you dinner but I purposely gave you small servings so you’ll want more and leave your villa,” you explain.
“Half a cup of your fried rice?” He scowls. “That’s a crime.”
“I know. And you’ll run out if you don’t go outside,” you warn. “Are you planning on just staying here? Do-hyun’s right. It’s not a team dinner without you there.”
“I… I was planning to go out a bit later. It’s a different setting and I’m a little anxious,” he admits.
He looks away and you feel for him. You were the same in the beginning, too. It’s one thing to share meals with people in a work environment but it’s another when it’s more casual, where people are less filtered and guarded. But you had to try, and after spending time getting to know your colleagues, things got easier.
The team has adjusted to Jungkook but you suppose Jungkook hasn’t fully adjusted to them. Perhaps he was planning on sneaking in much later in the evening or using work as an excuse. But this is part of his function, and like you promised him early on, you want to help him with this aspect of his role.
“I’ll help you loosen up a bit,” you suggest. “I can have dinner with you here first and then we can go out once you’re ready.”
“Sounds good,” he agrees, even if he’d decided earlier that he’d keep his distance. “You can get your food outside. I’m not sharing mine.”
You laugh at how seriously he says the words.
“I know,” you say. “And by the way, Yohan made you that drink.”
“How’d he know I like highball?”
“A little birdie told him,” you shrug, feigning innocence.
You smile before walking out, with Jungkook reminding you to set aside some fried rice for him.
You take your plate and reason to the team that you and Jungkook will just discuss some work stuff and they buy it, saying they won't get drunk until you’re both back outside.
You return to the villa with your dish and a bottle of beer, immediately realizing that it’s new territory for you and Jungkook, too. Sure, you’ve spent some time together out of work, but not in a place and situation like this.
But you want to be there for him. You like that he looks to you for energy and support. On days when he’s distant, you want moments like right now to remind you of the times he needed you, that he wanted you around, even if it’s for a different reason.
It takes half an hour for Jungkook to ease his nerves. In that time, you talk about random things, like his favorite hawker centers in Singapore and the variety shows you watch on which days. You both tease each other, then compete on who gets less affected. You tell him it’s good preparation for when the team, in their drunken states, does the same. You assure him, though, that they won’t go below the belt but he also assures you that he’s a big boy and can handle it.
When he says he wants more fried rice, it becomes your cue to head outside. You’re thankful that other than Mr. Ri subtly smirking at you, no one else reacts uncomfortably. You and Jungkook just came from his villa alone, after all, but you suppose everyone’s too tired or too careful to say anything.
“I hope no one’s eaten my share of the fried rice,” Jungkook says as he sits across from you. “I was really looking forward to it.”
“Here, all yours, Mr. Jeon,” Yohan says as he hands him a bowl. “If it isn’t enough, just know that Do-hyun took one last scoop before we set this aside.”
“Traitor,” Do-hyun scowls at the younger man. “I couldn’t help it. It’s so good, right?” She turns to Jungkook now. “___ gatekeeps this! She says she’s too busy to make it and I only got her to do it now because I’m heartbroken.”
Jungkook smiles internally. You’ve made this for him a few times and it’s heartwarming to think that you had your reasons for doing so, knowing now that it’s not something you easily share.
“It’s way better than the one I make,” Jungkook says, glancing at you. “I can have this everyday.”
“You cook?!” Do-hyun basically yells.
“Uh, yeah. I lived on my own for years. How do you think I survived?” Jungkook asks.
“Paying people to do things for you,” Do-hyun shrugs.
It’s a line he’s heard you say before and neither of you are wrong. It’s normal to make that assumption and it’s also true. He had people to do pretty much everything for him when he was in Singapore. He has that option here in Seoul, too, but he’s found himself wanting less people in his space for long periods of time. You’re really the only one he doesn’t mind being around him.
The conversation shifts to what happened in the afternoon, and you all end up talking about each team’s scavenger hunt experience and the anticipation for the next day’s obstacle course and relay games. A few more shots and bottles of beer later, the vibe turns more serious, as Manager Lee’s question to Do-hyun about how she’s feeling turns into an emotional session where she asks what she’s supposed to do about the man she was seeing, wondering if it’s worth reaching out or just moving on from him.
Chin-sun shares a piece of her mind and so does Yohan. Manager Lee says that sometimes, people don’t know what they want and isolate themselves in response. The pieces of advice are a mix of being patient and forgetting about the man, and you choose to observe rather than give an opinion. It’s always easy to say something but things could be totally different once you’re the one experiencing it. You think Jungkook feels the same, as he stays quiet but listens earnestly.
“What do you think, Mr. Ri?” Do-hyun asks. “You’re the oldest one here and would probably have a lot to say.”
“I wish I did but I wouldn’t say I’ve made the best decisions when it comes to my love life,” Mr. Ri laughs. “I mean, I’ve only ever loved one woman but I let her go. And that was over 20 years ago; I haven’t loved anyone that way since. I don’t think I ever really stopped.”
You watch everyone’s faces turn from shocked to somber. Mr. Ri, having been CEO Jeon’s right-hand man for a long time, has a stable and commanding presence. Everyone knows him to be loyal and firm, yet there’s a warmth about him with how protective and dependable he is. They all know about his commitment to his job, but his faithfulness to one person is perhaps surprising; he was never one to show much emotion, after all. But then again, people make sacrifices in the name of love - sometimes they give everything up for it, sometimes it’s what they let go of.
“Twenty years is a long time,” Do-hyun sighs. “And you never stopped. Where does all that love go?”
“I have people I care about,” Mr. Ri answers. “It goes to them. Obviously it’s different but I learned that if I keep all that love to myself, it hurts even more. That’s how I learned to live with the decision I made. It’s how I learned to let her go.”
“That’s so sad,” Do-hyun sniffles. “Here I am, heartbroken about a guy I was dating for only a few months while you’ve been harboring these feelings for decades.”
“It’s not about the length of time you were together or apart,” Mr. Ri shakes his head. “When you give a part of yourself to someone, losing them always hurts. That part of you is gone because they took it with them and you can’t take it back. So your pain is valid. We all love and grieve and move forward differently,” he says. “It’s all terrifying but that’s the irony of life, I’ve learned. The thing we all want and can’t live without is the same thing that hurts us the most, whether we have it or not.”
There’s a beat of silence as everyone takes in the elder man’s words. They cut deep, as you know they come from a place of deep pain. You don’t want to ever go through something that hurts that much.
“I’m too emotional,” Do-hyun sighs, not wanting to spend the rest of the evening crying and having everyone feel bad for her, so she shifts her attention to something else. “I want something juicy.” She briefly looks at Jungkook, who looks blankly at her, so she turns to you instead. “I don’t know much about your love life, ___.”
“Yes, because I don’t have one,” you chuckle, masking the nervousness you feel because talking about its inexistence in front of the man plaguing your mind was not something you planned for this trip.
“But I know you did,” she insists. “I mean, why wouldn’t you?”
“I think what Do-hyun means is that you’re a highly capable, kind, and attractive woman,” Chin-sun chimes in. “Surely there have been prospects for a relationship, yes?”
“Like Mr. Min!” Yohan says now. “I always thought you two were cute together. Do-hyun and I would bet on it since she says you’re not the type to date co-workers.”
“And she’s right,” you say, glancing at Jungkook whose face you can’t read. “Yoongi and I are good friends. That’s all we ever were.”
“Well, I think he’s very nice and he’d treat you well,” Yohan sighs. “But I guess it might be weird to date someone you work with. I have friends I can match you with!”
“That’s not necessary,” you laugh. “I don’t think relationships are for everyone.”
“Why not?” Do-hyun asks.
You contemplate on whether or not you’re ready for this conversation, especially since it’s the type you usually just have with your best friends. You suppose it’s why your colleagues claim they don’t know much about you other than the way you work because you don’t really share much about your life, your dreams, or the things you wonder about. You’ve always preferred to keep things to yourself, always worried about how they will be received.
But everyone’s allowed themselves to be vulnerable tonight, and given the distance you’ve created between you and them all these years, you think the least you could do is be honest. It’s a team building thing anyway, and people bond over shared experiences during these times.
“I’ve… dated people but it was never serious,” you start. “I never really saw myself committing to them. Sure, I’d give my time and energy but nothing more. There’s so much courage in loving another person. I just don’t think I’ll ever be brave enough for that. I mean, it’s just hard to control. Once you start, you can’t stop; once you do it too much, you can’t pull back.”
“Sounds to me like you’re afraid that you won’t receive as much as you give,” Manager Lee states. “It’s how love is, though. It’s not always equal. But that’s the risk you take, that’s the trust you build. That even when what’s given isn’t the same, there’s still love there.”
“But isn’t that the scary part of it all?” You counter. “Like what Mr. Ri said, you give a part of yourself to someone when you love them but what if they don’t want that specific part of you? Or they did then one day they decide they don’t anymore? So they just retreat and leave you out in the open. They’re safe but you’re not, because you broke down your walls for them but they didn’t do the same.”
“That’s the thing about finding the right person, ___,” Manager Lee says, with all the wisdom of a man who’s loved and lost and loved again. “You either trust that they won’t do that, or you accept that they could and you’d still think that loving them is worth all the pain that losing them would cost. In the end, you get to decide. If you keep yourself from feeling it, how are you to know what’s worth it and what isn’t?”
You’ve heard versions of these words before, too. Soomin and Jimin, whose respective relationship ups and downs you’ve witnessed, have said themselves that committing yourself to someone takes a whole lot of faith in the person and in yourself. It’s because you’re giving them an opportunity to hurt you but you have to trust that they won’t. A lot of times, they do, so you then have to trust in your own ability to get over them.
The thoughts swim in your head and with your silence, Chin-sun gives you an encouraging smile. She’s a few years older than you and has experienced a lot when it comes to relationships, and you can sense that she understands your hesitation and your fear.
“It’s scary but when you find someone who makes you feel brave, that can make all the difference,” she says.
Admitting all this makes you feel exposed, especially when your eyes flit to Jungkook and you find him gazing at you, as if he’s trying to figure you out. You’re worried that any other move you make or things you say will lead him to uncovering your feelings that you acknowledge is beyond just physical attraction at this point.
You find yourself worrying about him constantly, wondering what he’s doing or if he’s getting proper rest. You’re always thinking about his smile and the sound of his laugh, and you imagine how much sweeter and softer they could get. You want him to be happy, to find his peace, to have something to look forward to. And you want to know what his touch feels and how it’s like to have him close.
You know all this is wrong because of who you are and who he is in this world, especially as you realize that you’ve never felt anything quite like this before. The fear makes itself even more known as it is embodied in the man across from you - so palpable and overwhelming that you can’t help but want more, and the more his eyes bore into you, the closer you are to giving in.
How are you to know what’s worth it and what isn’t if you don’t let yourself feel all of it? And if Jungkook makes you feel brave, then what if he’s the person you’re willing to break down your walls for?
You shake your head, knowing you can’t fall into the trap of your own mind. You need to be logical about this, but you also think that you’ve been that way all your life and it hasn’t brought you much happiness. At this point, you question what that looks like.
Maybe it looks like him. Maybe it’s also life without him.
How do people make decisions like this? You wonder. How do they know how much pain they can bear? And when does it become worth it?
“Wise words,” you manage to say after a tense silence. “You make it sound simple.”
“Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t,” Chin-sun says. “Human beings are complicated, ___, so are our emotions. Love makes people stupid. But it also makes us brave and happy and complete. And when it’s shared with the right person, god it feels so good.”
You’re able to get her to share about her own experience and remove the spotlight away from you. Manager Lee narrates his serendipitous love story as well, and the serious tone of the conversation turns into a giddy, enjoyable one. You find yourself constantly glancing at Jungkook, liking his soft smiles and giggles as the stories are told. He briefly meets your eyes during some moments though, and that’s when you look away.
The night ends when he announces that everyone should get some rest and prepare for tomorrow’s activities, so you all clean up and wish each other a good night. Your eyes linger on Jungkook as he walks back to his villa, and you turn away before he does the same, the yearning for him getting stronger as each day passes.
The sun shines beautifully over the lake as you lean on the railing overlooking the water. The clouds over the mountains look like the fog that cleared earlier, and the majestic way that the scenery is framed by the blue skies is absolutely stunning.
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Jungkook hums from several meters next to you. “I never really bothered to appreciate this view before.”
“It is,” you say, turning to him as he continues to gaze at the scene before you while you gaze at him. If he notices from his periphery, he doesn’t say anything. “It’s breathtaking. I could take a picture but that wouldn’t give this justice.”
“I can try,” he says, reaching out to ask for your phone. “I’m good at this.”
You indulge him and watch as he finds the right angle to beautifully capture the surroundings. He asks if you want him to take another photo with you in it this time, and though you’re a little shy, you let him.
You warm at how natural your smile looks, realizing that you were focusing on his smile while he was taking the picture. The view looks surreal but you’re in there, and it’s a reminder of where you are and who you’re with. Jungkook remarks that it’s a nice shot before turning back to the water, and while you wish you were braver and had asked to take one with him so you could hold onto this memory, you know you’ll look at this photo of you and also remember what you’re feeling. There’s so much calm and clarity, and you know it’s not just because of the mountains.
The tension and fear that filled you up last night have slowly turned into a sense of relief. The distance that once bothered you about Jungkook now gives you comfort. No matter how far or unattainable he may be, you still feel his presence - his warmth is in the peacefulness of a park at night, or in the calmness of the lake, or in the safety of your neighborhood library. You never imagined that one Jeon Jungkook would ever make you feel this way, and if he’s someone who makes you be brave to feel something new, maybe you owe it to him and to yourself to be brave to pursue that, too.
Your thoughts are disrupted when Yohan yells that breakfast is ready. You all gather in the common dining room for some dumpling soup before a short planning session to give you time to digest. At 9:30, the first activity begins, with all six of you divided into two teams to finish an obstacle course.
It gets competitive when you’re teamed up with the younger ones, as Do-hyun and Yohan attempt to trash talk the others. They give it their all, especially when they see Jungkook dominating the kayaking part of the course, but the three of you manage in the end. A part of you feels that the other team just wanted to make the younger ones win only to use it against them later on, but the fun and excitement are what matter.
You enjoy some meat and stew for lunch and have another planning session before doing the afternoon games, which has Jungkook on the losing team again. He comes up with a last minute individual game that gives Manager Lee the chance to win this time, and the afternoon ends with all of you, excluding him, winning prizes you can enjoy after this.
The free time before dinner has you reading your book by the lake and then talking with Chin-sun in the hammock while the rest of the team enjoy the sunset and some beer. You’re thankful that this time, Mr. Ri was tasked to handle all the activities instead of you, and so you’re able to focus on spending time with your colleagues.
You grill meat again for dinner, roast marshmallows over the campfire, and passionately sing off-key in the karaoke. But unlike last night, people decide to go to bed early, definitely tired from today’s physical activities.
You’re exhausted as well but somehow, the pull of the cold evening air is too strong, so you decide to walk to the main house and grab a bottle of beer. When you walk out to the deck, you’re surprised to find Jungkook seated on a lounge chair outside of his villa, glass in hand as he looks up at the sky.
Jungkook savors the crisp breeze, knowing that once he gets back to Seoul, all he’ll have is the musty air and the buzzing sounds of the city. He wants to remember this weekend and the peace he felt. Maybe he should’ve taken a photo of the view this morning like he did for you; he at least has the one of you in it that he took ingrained in his mind. You looked so calm and happy; he couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face then.
He’s trying to keep as much of today in his memory as he can, knowing how hectic it’s going to be when you all get back. Other than the amount of fun he didn’t expect to have with the team, he enjoyed seeing a different side of you.
You were competitive but encouraging, probably not the most athletic but definitely capable. He could pick out your squeals and laughter and he thought they were sweet and hypnotic, and he appreciated how thoughtful you were during dinner, making sure everyone had enough to eat, especially him. You would catch his attention to ask if his meat is okay or if he’s feeling comfortable; he hated that it all ended so soon. Though he shouldn’t, he wanted more time with you. It’s different being out here than it is in the office or even in his home. Here, he’s unguarded and a lot more free, and he’s able to make more sense of how you affect him; in a way, he’s able to truly feel all that you make him feel.
There’s so much of you in his mind but you’re not around, so he stands up to head to bed already, hoping he’d at least see you in his dreams. But when he turns towards the door, he sees a silhouette in the main house’s deck. And as if the universe is giving him some sign, he finds you there, standing by the post with a beer in hand. You lift the bottle in cheers and he lifts his drink in return, sipping every last drop he could.
He sees you grab another bottle from the outdoor fridge then place it on the coffee table, an invitation to join you that he’s glad you make. He would’ve been too hesitant to make the move, unsure of your willingness to be in his presence.
“Can’t sleep?” You ask as he nears the couch.
He sits next to you, the short distance a little too tempting to close.
“Sort of,” he hums. “And you?”
“Not really. I don’t get much of the outdoors back in my tiny apartment,” you chuckle.
“Fair enough. The weather’s been nice, fortunately. Not like the last time we were out of town, yeah?”
“Yeah, fortunately,” you shyly look at him, not saying more, perhaps unsure if it’s something he’s ready to talk about.
“It’s okay,” he assures you. “I’ve accepted you having witnessed my extreme moment of weakness. You were patient and understanding even when I was angry and I… I don’t know if I’ve thanked you enough for that.”
“You have, and I understand it all. But Jungkook, what happened at that guest house is not weakness,” you insist. “That’s… dealing with a painful memory.”
“That wasn’t dealing, ___. I was suffering. That's… that’s what happens when someone doesn’t know how to move on from something.”
“Does it happen a lot?” You wonder.
“Well, the nightmares tend to happen when the thunder is really loud,” he says. “Otherwise I just get really anxious, like when it rains, my brain just expects things to get bad.”
“What do you do when it does?”
“I don’t know how I manage, actually,” he answers. “I usually forget and just remember that I wake up dry in my bed. I mean, I’d be sweating but not soaked. I guess that night, I was just too nervous because the rain was so strong, we were on the road. And I was somewhere completely unfamiliar with you. I… I think that made it worse.”
Your silence prompts him to clarify. “I mean, I didn’t want you to see me that way, that’s why it was worse,” he states. “It’s not a side of me I’m proud of. Which is silly thinking about it now because you’ve seen a lot of sides of me that I’m not proud of. All of them, actually.”
“So you’re not proud of the side of you that protected me? That made sure I was safe? That rushed to find me when I was stuck in the rain?” You ask.
“It’s what any decent human being would do,” he dismisses. “Those just probably stand out because I wasn’t exactly one in the beginning.”
“Well, you had Mr. Ri drive me. You’d make me go home early sometimes, too.”
“___, again, that’s what a decent boss should be doing. It’s the bare minimum. You deserve more kindness than you’re receiving. I… I should have been that to you from the start.”
“We’ve moved past that, remember? It’s all okay. I managed, I stayed. And I’m glad I did. I got to learn so much from you,” you assure him. “And you deserve more kindness than you’re receiving, too.”
Jungkook hums. He wouldn’t have thought that he’d be able to freely talk to you about all this - about how he was before and how he’s been recently. And like always, you’re gentle with him. He could only hope you’re as gentle as you are with yourself, something he doesn’t know how to do.
“I… I hope you’ve found ways to cope with all that you went through,” he says, turning away from you in shame. “I… I’m still learning.”
“It’s a process, and it’s not an easy one. No one really tells you how to do it. You kind of just… find your way,” you share. “But just think that the thunder doesn’t last long. It’s going to pass. So maybe when it starts raining, you can do what I did. Just cover your ears to block out the sounds. All we can do sometimes is shield ourselves from it, you know? It would scare us a little less.”
“I don’t even remember how you did it,” he admits. “I felt so out of it that night.”
“But did it help?” You ask.
He nods in response. “I wasn’t alone. I think that was the first time in a long time.”
“When you are, just do what I do,” you say, turning towards him and closing the distance to cover his ears with your hands. “Edge of the palms or your fingers then press tightly. The hollowness will drown out the sounds until they stop.”
Jungkook’s eyes swim in yours. He can’t tell you that he doubts it’d work without you, since your comforting look and your calm voice are what made him pull through. But still, he knows that imagining you’re there would definitely help.
“Edge of the palms or your fingers then press tightly,” he repeats, almost like a whisper. “Got it.”
You smile and it’s like a spell for him, as he mindlessly puts his hands over yours and slowly brings them down. He’s so lost in you that he only realizes he’s still holding your hands when you look down, so he immediately pulls away.
“Who taught you how to do that?” He asks, masking his embarrassment.
“My mom,” you answer, shifting back on your seat and looking out at the horizon. “My dad copped out before he knew I existed and she was too heartbroken to ask for him back. It took a while but she eventually found another man. I was pretty young then. He was okay, but then he lost his job and things went downhill from there.”
Jungkook sees the way your face falls and he already knows his heart is going to break for you.
“He would drink a lot and they’d fight all the time. He’d yell and yell, and then yell some more,” you narrate. “Mom would make me hide in the closet or under the bed just so I’d hear less of it. Thunder used to scare me, too; it sounded like his banging on the wall when he’d scream at her but eventually, I realized the roar drowns him out so I welcomed it. But I would just cover my ears and think of happy thoughts like she said. Sometimes she’d come to me and do it like I did with you. I always liked that better.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, wanting to take your hand back and comfort you in any way. “You shouldn’t have experienced that.”
“Life isn’t fair sometimes,” you sigh, having accepted the hand you were dealt. “My mom and I got out and she found someone who loves and respects her. And we just found ways to deal with the pain, you know? We could only bury it for so long. And so covering my ears just became a habit as I grew up. It was a way to battle all that.”
“I’ve seen you do that a few times.”
“It’s like a general coping mechanism of some sort,” you explain. “Sometimes the loud sounds come from inside, too. Thoughts of not being good enough, of being selfish, of not deserving of happiness… I mean, they come from others but they stay in my head. I have to cover my ears to stop them from overwhelming me.”
“I’m sorry,” he says again, looking away in shame when you turn to him questioningly. “You did that several times during my first weeks. I know I… I said things that hurt you.”
“Hey, it’s okay. It was hard for everyone and like I said, I forgive you. But I've been told worse things,” you shake your head. “You’ve heard some of them.”
“You didn’t deserve those either.”
“I know. That’s why I walked away. It’s easy to do that when you don’t give much of yourself to them. And I do it all the time,” you say. “I never really stay.”
“Would you stay if you found the right person?”
You remember a conversation with him months ago, about people being temporary and how they’d only stay if they had a reason to. It’s safe to say that finding the right person would be your reason, but that also makes it harder.
“I probably would,” you respond. “And I think that scares me, too.”
“Why?” He asks.
“What if I would stay for them? But they won’t stay for me?”
Jungkook leaves your question unanswered, knowing there’s nothing he can say that would sufficiently validate your fear nor comfort you about it. His own past relationship doesn’t give him any right - Chaerin left him but he gave her all the reasons to; she walked away and he did the same. Sometimes he wonders if she’d lost him before he lost her. He also doesn’t know if he loved her so much that he let her go, or if he didn’t love her enough to make her stay. Maybe it was neither. Or maybe he was just too scared - that she’d reject him, or that he wouldn’t be able to love her better if he she came back, he doesn’t know. He was never brave enough to find out.
He lets the silence linger, prompting you to remark that the conversation is too sad for a night as pretty as tonight.
“We should probably head to bed, though,” he suggests. “We still have stuff in the morning then a long ride home. I don’t have to remind you how hectic this next week is gonna be.”
“You just did,” you frown, earning you a laugh. “But I agree. Thank you for keeping me company tonight.”
Your shy smile makes his breath hitch. He wants this to go on for longer but he knows he might just let his guard down even more, maybe share about his other pains and frustrations and worries about life. Maybe he’ll end up moving closer to you, close enough that he’d smell your classic rose scent that makes his mind feel hazy. Maybe he’ll want more, and he reminds himself of all the boundaries he shouldn’t cross, and that crossing them may push you away.
So he says goodnight and you both walk towards your respective villas, looking back one more time before heading inside.
You’re all he thinks about for the rest of the night. His gaze follows you all through the next morning, too. He misses your presence when he leaves for Seoul in his own car, and he’s back to being a giddy mess when you message him, saying you hope he got home safely.
It almost feels like the weekend was a dream and when Monday comes, he has to remind himself that he’s back to reality and that includes how he should be when it comes to you. Those days remain in his memory, but when you enter his apartment that morning with the softest smile, and when you meet his eyes as you fix his necktie, he knows it wasn’t a dream. And that somehow, just like him, you wish it didn’t have to end.
It’s been over a week since the team building and you haven’t really moved on from all that happened during those three days. There was the joy of being with your colleagues and the companionship you felt thankful to have. There was also the tranquility of the lake and the refreshing environment that rejuvenated you, making you wish you were back there, especially as you sort through the printed photos from your disposable camera and see the pretty views that you already miss.
There’s that photo you took of Jungkook by the stream that you’ve been staring at, another reason why you want to go back to that time. His eyes are warm and his smile is soft and subtle, unforced and just as captivating. It’s quite calming, and it’s the image that you hold onto later that Thursday evening when you’re piled under loads of paperwork. It’s past 6PM but you can’t afford to leave yet, and the only good thing about it is that he’s still around, and you get to sneak in some glances through the window.
You’ve become that person, smitten by her attractive boss and definitely stupid enough to be overwhelmed by her emotions. You haven’t stopped thinking about him. Everyday that you enter his space, the desire to know him more gets stronger; with every common place you step into, you keep wishing he’d ask you to stay close, that he’d invite you to somewhere reserved for those he lets in. Every time your fingers brush, you’re reminded of the way his hands felt on top of yours and how you wanted him to keep them there, and every look you share makes you hope that you’re not the only one in this mess of emotions. And that if you’ll give in, so would he.
You’re not quite sure what he feels, but if his shy smiles and the way he intensely looks at you before looking away mean anything, then you could at least say that there’s definitely something there. You just don’t know if he would acknowledge it or if like you, it’s gotten too strong that you’re unable to think clearly or act rationally.
Finally done with the last item on your task list for today, you start to pack up. It’s at the same time that Jungkook exits from his room to return a portfolio he took earlier and place it on your desk. You’re about to pick it up but he says you should just leave it there and fix it tomorrow.
But you disregard him. You retrieve the stool and attempt to return the portfolio on the top shelf. It’s a little heavy but you manage; you even start fixing the others that moved because Jungkook’s been getting them these past days. You’re about to step down when you hear his heavy sigh.
“I told you to do that tomorrow,” he groans, walking towards you.
With your back turned, you reply, “I like starting my days with a tidy desk, okay?”
“It’s just one portfolio,” he points out.
“It still takes up so much space. It makes my table look messy.”
“You still could’ve waited. Or you could’ve asked me to help,” he insists, continuing to reprimand you as you try to step down the stool.
He’s a little close, blocking your view of the floor, and that’s why you miss a step and trip again, your squeal echoing throughout the empty floor. You think your heart racing is about to join in on the sounds, too, as it quickens when you realize that Jungkook has caught you by your waist, his tight grip on you sending shivers down your spine.
He’s gotten even closer, as you look up and find his scrunched eyebrows and worried eyes staring back at you. The tension starts to rise but you manage to tell him that you’re fine after he asks if you’re hurt.
“I’m sure,” you tell him. “You caught my fall. Again.”
You giggle and that’s what makes him let out a laugh as well. Your left hand holds onto the shelf but his hands remain on you. He’s still a breath away but you suddenly don’t mind, as your right hand mindlessly makes its way to rest on his arm. At this moment, this feels right. You’re all alone in your little bubble with him where you’re all he sees and he’s all you can breathe in.
His bergamot scent wafts through your nose. You can count his eyelashes and see the scar on his cheek that you never noticed. He’s even more breathtaking up close, and as if all reason evaporates from your body, you don’t pull away. You want him just like this.
On second thought, you want him even closer.
“You’re a clumsy woman, aren’t you?” He says, his voice low and deep. “This isn’t the first time that I’m breaking your fall.”
“Well, if you would just be quiet while I’m attempting to go down, then that wouldn’t be a problem,” you breathily giggle, inching the tiniest bit forward.
“Well, if you just listened to me the first time, then you wouldn't have to climb up there,” he responds, earning him a playful roll of your eyes. “You’re a stubborn one, too.”
“So I’ve heard,” you match his teasing. “Can't help it sometimes.”
“So you acknowledge it?” He raises an eyebrow in intrigue.
“Yeah, I guess,” you say much more nervously now, meeting his eyes. It’s like you’re hypnotized again, caught in some spell where being in his presence makes you honest and uninhibited. “I mean, I feel things I shouldn’t feel and want people I shouldn’t want,” you add. “Doesn’t that make me stubborn?”
“What’s stopping you from feeling them? From having them?” He asks, his voice remaining low and his eyes, even more piercing and desperate now as they stare back at you.
His thumbs lightly caress your waist and his touch electrifies you through the thin material of your blouse. There’s so much to say and it’s way more complicated, just as your feelings for him are. You can’t help but eye his lips, soft and pink, and the desire to know what they taste like intensifies, prompting you to nibble your own.
“What’s stopping me?” You pant now, your gaze flitting from his eyes back to his lips, with him doing the same. “The ways of the world. And some… boundary that pulls me back, a line that I don’t know he’s ready to cross for me.”
The words actualize your fears the moment you say them. You know all the reasons why wanting him is wrong. But there’s a small part of you that wants to give in, and it’s terrified that he wouldn’t, that he’d dismiss what you feel and pull away. The way he’s been with you and the way he’s holding you right now spark that sliver of hope you have that he feels the same way, but it’s also the same moment that he lets you go, perhaps realizing that he’s not willing to take the risk the way you are.
He releases you from his hold and steps back, creating distance, and you suddenly feel bare - exposed and unguarded without his touch. He looks at you in panic, in apology, in fear, as if he’d had some sense knocked into him, as if he awakened from some spell that pushed him close to you, only to realize that that’s a place he can’t go.
“I—”
“I should go,” you interject, turning away so as not to see any more of the rejection in his eyes. “Have a good evening, Mr. Jeon.”
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Aid | Frank Castle x m!reader
@satan-incarnate-666 asked: okay one more bc i cant resist
"Last time you asked for my help, I ended up balls deep in a swamp. Not again." - frank castle x m!reader
summary: as always, whenever you're in trouble, you go running to Frank for help.
tws: swearing, alcohol, cigarettes
"Frank!" You yelled as you entered the safehouse, your grey shirt dark and damp with sweat as you slammed the door behind you and started to approach the kitchen. "Frank! Oi! Where are you?"
Frank peered round from his place at the fridge, sighing heavily. "What?"
"I need your help," you started, "so, I may have accidentally purposefully pissed off Logan, and now he wants my head on a platter."
Frank shook his head, closing the fridge and cracking open the can of beer in his hand; he crossed the kitchen to lean against the counter, crossing his ankles as he ran his free hand down his face. "No."
You raised a brow, tilting your head to the side. "The fuck do you mean no?"
"No, last time you asked for my help, I ended up balls deep in a swamp. Not again," he said.
You scoffed, letting yourself into the fridge and grabbing a beer for yourself. You pressed it to the back of your neck as you grumbled. "First of all, it was a bog, not a swamp. Second of all, that was your fault for getting us lost. Third of all, I'm your boyfriend and you have to be nice to me."
Frank rolled his eyes as he scoffed, unable to believe that you would pull the boyfriend card on him at such a time. "You're really gonna play that one, huh?"
"Yes," you nodded, flashing him a cheeky smile. "I'm your boyfriend and you have to help me. Please."
"We're not going near any goddamn bogs or swamps or whatever," he warned, putting his beer down on the counter and moving to grab his phone. "Or else you're on your own... what did you do?"
"Okay, so I was down at the mansion because I had that meeting with Professor X, right?" You waited for him to hum and nod before you continued, "well, Logan was being a dick and he wouldn't let me have one of his cigarettes... so I may have used my powers to sic a squirrel on him."
Frank rolled his eyes as he frowned. "So you did to him what you did to Billy back in secondary school?"
You nodded. "Exactly. And you know Billy's never forgiven me, even if it was years ago."
"And now Logan wants you to apologise," he huffed. "Which you won't, because you thought it was funny."
"Exactly!" You howled. "See what I mean? He's a dick."
"Jesus Christ..."
Frank ignored you for a while as he grabbed what he thought he would need; beers and cigarettes for peace offerings, his phone, his vest if only because he didn't trust Logan to recognise him in his normal clothes. He had hoped that his stay at the safehouse would be relatively peaceful; he had hoped that because you were staying with him, you wouldn't piss people off. Evidently, he was wrong. Very wrong.
But still, you were his boyfriend, had been for a few years, and he had known you for years, and even if Logan had known you for longer, Frank knew what you were like; he supposed he should have seen it coming, really. He supposed that he should have gone to the meeting with you, even if it was just a meeting with Professor X to see how you were getting on; it was a meeting that you had once a year, and even still, you always managed to find a way to piss someone off.
Frank had to admit, he did think it was kind of funny; he had to admit, all the times that you had saved his ass, it was kind of payback for him to come to your aid. He just hoped there were no goddamn swamps this time.
"You ready?" You asked, sitting up on the counter with your head tilted to the side.
Frank nodded, finishing his beer and sighing heavily. "Yeah, I'm ready... are you?"
"Yeah, I'm ready," you nodded. "C'mere, though."
Frank stood between your legs, daring to smile when you cupped his face in your hands and pressed a kiss to his lips, softly thanking him for coming to your aid once again; he chuckled, his hands going to your waist as he pulled you a little closer and kissed you a little harder, groaning softly when your hand went to the hair at the back of his head and tugged it gently.
"You're a nightmare," Frank whispered. "You know that, right?"
if you liked this fic, REBLOG IT - do not just leave a "like", REBLOG IT. you may also leave feedback in the form of asks, tags, etc which is greatly appreciated, but you SHOULD reblog it regardless.
#mlem writes#frank castle imagine#frank castle x y/n#frank castle x you#frank castle x reader#frank castle#the punisher imagine#the punisher x y/n#the punisher x you#the punisher x reader#the punisher#jon bernthal x reader#jon bernthal
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YAHOO SHAWTY LEMON!!! Asking anonymously bc you'll NEVER guess who I am 😈
Mmmmay I request headcanons for gn! reader turning into a cat and spending the day w Xiao?
I LOVE your works and always thought I was following you but I wasn't?!?! I am ashamed 😔😔😔
Turning Into a Cat for a Day
Xiao x GN!Reader
Summary: After eating a new dish Xiangling made, you somehow turn into a cat.
A/N: AYO SHAWTY and I totally have NO idea who u are
Warnings: not proof read and there's probably spelling mistakes.
-I don’t think he knows what cats are
-like let’s say your eating some food you got from Xiangling with Xiao in his room
-and of course with all the stuff she puts in her food- she made some sorta potion but make it a food??
-so *poof* you turned into a cat
-he will fr say “what type of demon did you turn into? I won’t have to kill you, right?”
-you straight up hissed when he said that and he slowly left his room to find Verr, eyes staying on you
-he’d tell her that you turned into a demon and she ran straight to his room
-only to find a cat sitting on his bed
-she deadpanned and said “that’s not a demon, it’s a cat. Like the cat sitting on my desk.”
“Oh.” He blinked, “whoops.”
She scoffed and left the room.
-she’ll probably be back later with the cat that’s always on her desk and watch with fascination if you have an actual convo with it
-she’ll pick you up and place you in xiao’s arms
-he drops u cuz he gets scared
-no animals were harmed i promise
-she’ll put you back in his arms and he’ll hesitantly hold you
This is how he holds u at first:
(yes I KNOW ITS A WIKI PHOTO SHUSH)
-”you can’t carry them all the way to liyue if you're holding them like that, xiao.”
-after a while of her showing him how to properly hold a cat- your in his arms, smol cat head on his shoulder and seeing everything behind him
-he makes his way to liyue to ask zhongli for help and ofc with zhongli being the magic man he is he starts to make a tea to turn you back but it takes 6 hours
-he has no idea what to do with you
-he’ll walk up to the traveler and tell them all about what happened
-he cant exactly take care of you while coNQuERIng dEMons
-so the traveler takes care of you
-cue paimon saying “hey! They’re as small as me now!”
-cue you hissing at paimon
-when the traveler tries to take you out of Xiao's arms he is very hesitant
-paimon just hears a small “meow” while the traveler tries to take you
-it takes 20 seconds for xiao to finally let you go
-”make sure they’re properly taken care of” xiao says before disappearing
-five minutes have passed, and paimon’s carrying you just in case the traveler runs into some monsters
-then xiao comes outta nowhere, takes you out of paimon’s small hands and disappears
-traveler and paimon just blink rapidly
-yea xiao isn't leaving your side, and will stay with you the entire time
-once you turn back after drinking zhongli’s special tea, xiao will be happy he doesn’t have to constantly hold a fur ball and hugs you
-he’ll never admit it but he kinda started to like cats
-adopt a cat please
#genshin impact x reader#xiao x reader#xiao genshin impact#zhongli & reader#genshin impact zhongli#genshin crack
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When I tell you I have a mini heart attack everytime I move my notes to a reblog😭 I need them to move cut away from copy bc idk what id do if i accidentally hit cut🥹
#“like you were made to fit him” we were made to fit him😍
#“hearing Benny’s not-so-subtle announcement that he was home” Benny already knows 😂
#“never able to get over how stunning you were even in your sleep, how divine you looked naked in his bed.” need a man to look at me like I’m the last jewel on earth😩
#“Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Benny is so meeee
#“fully aware of the fact that he was the one who needed an eye kept on him.” I love a self aware king🤌🏾
#“Well stop fucking talking to me, go and figure this shit out!” BENNY FOR THE WINNNN, idk what Will would do without Benny boy
#“He took his boxers off and slipped into bed,” the things I would give to sleep naked with Will😞
#“your bum rubbing against his groin in a way that made him moan and grind on you.” Stand down soldier😂 we got some talkin to do🧐
#“the weight of almost never experiencing this again hitting him hard.” Idk what happened to my emotions but I’m already tearing up😭
#“A breath shuddered out of him as he reached up and smoothed the side of your head, desperately again and again, his forehead leaning against yours as he fought off tears of his own.” I’ve come to the realization that I am not as emotionally prepared for this conversation as I thought I was😣
#“The shake in his voice and the look in his eyes broke your heart,” I actually can’t do this😭 let’s talk about it🥂(imagine this is a podcast and were covered in tissues in our cute lil chairs🥹): off riff the vibes you have set for this scene are phenomenal🙉 (I hate my scatter brain lmaooo😭 bear with me) it’s very authentic with how quickly pain can throw itself into any situation; we were having a sweet moment and although you don’t say it, you can tell that the reader realized that there was a possibility where this reconnection would not have happened, either because Will kept up with his facade or something tragic happened on his tour. Another thing that makes this authentic is Will’s vulnerability. You can feel the turmoil that his nightmare put him through and the agony that he feels knowing that he hurt us. We can all agree that Will is a traditional man, and because of that he would also have a hard time with being seen emotionally and the way you handle that with describing how small and shakey his voice sounds, the extra pauses, the brokenness in his eyes is so perfect🥹 omg not to mention that we’re also naked so he’s feeling extra exposed, but in the “you’re seeing all of me” way. “Of course I trust you.” All of this shows exactly how much he trusts us🥹
#“You’re my everything,” crying🥺😭💖💖💖
#“Shh, not yet, baby. Just let me feel you.”the way I would’ve sobbed some more and pulled him into the tightest hug😭
#You sure know how to make a love making scene feel so real😩🌸
#“Will laid on your chest” if there’s one thing I would actually give up my kidney for it would be to get the chance to just hold him
#“the veins that ran through his skin like rivers” yall already know😍
#“the sweat on the back of his neck feeling like drips of ice.” Again 🙉
#LAUR WHAT ARE YOU DOING WASTING YOUR TALENTS ON TUMBLR????? THATS FILM WRITER/BOOK AUTHOR WORTHY🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉 cant believe I just read another glorious nightmare scene from you for free😲 the details, the imagery, the vibes, the sheer panic in Will’s movements, the added gore factor with this line “Two silver tags were dangling from your neck, the chain wrapped so tightly around your throat that it was embedded in your flesh, your skin marked with bruises and cuts from it cutting off your air flow” how do you do it everytime???
#“feeling his cock hardening against you through his boxers.” This man is always hard😂
#“I need you, baby,” love me a needy man🤧
#“I'm right here, Will,” the double meanings😩
#“You were completely alive, breathing and writhing with life in his arms, your blood flowing in every part he touched, his hands awakening every fiber in you.”😮
#“There was no questioning the falsity of his dream now, your euphoria solidifying your vitality, your body full of life as it shuddered with vigor because of him, the devastation of being the reason you wouldn’t breathe again leaving him with each second he was encased in you.” Jail time affectionately 🙉
#“aware that Benny could’ve walked in at any point.” I really thought Benny was about to catch us😭
#“but he knew he could face anything as long as he was with you.” Awwww🥹
#“Only to make Will shake his head as he reached his hand over the console and took yours.” Laurie please let this go smooth sailing 😭
#“Not without a kiss,” your wish is my command big boy😍😩
#“Will was thankful for his pleasant enough experience,” thank god😭 my heart can only handle so much🥹
#“what looked like a too-friendly of a conversation with a man he had never seen before.” Gimme all the possessiveness 🥵🥵🥵🥵
#“You seemed somewhat nervous or uncomfortable, touching your hair a little more than normal,” never mind Will come save me😣
#UH UH WHYD IT HAVE TO BE CAM😭 MY POOKIE BEAR🤧
#“still unable to believe how stupid he was for having let you go” you were pretty stupid
#“I love you. I only want you, and that was the same even when you weren’t with me.” My hearttttt🥹🥺
#“I don’t think I’ll ever deserve you, sweetheart,” he began. “But I will spend every second trying to.” YES THANK YOU THIS MINDSET IS EVERYTHING 🥹
You’d think I’d know what to say after doing this for a while but y’all always leave me so speechless in the end😂🥹🌸 the way you’re able to write all variations of scenarios never fails to amaze me!! With every part we get to see your creativity flourish and the growth you show within your writing🥹💖 if I were to ever have to choose a favorite part this one would definitely be up there with how you touch on romance, comedy, a bit of gruesomeness, vulnerability, a play on fears and etc🙉 I know I say this all the time, just means it’s true, but you outdid yourself again with this one Laurie🥹💖🌸💗
Breathe
Part 8
Pairing: Will 'Ironhead' Miller x female reader
Words: 6.2k
Warnings: Rated E, 18+. Swearing. Cockwarming. Unprotected intercourse. Nightmare involving death by asphyxiation. Panic attack. Oral sex (female receiving).
Summary: You and Will finally discuss how to navigate your relationship, and after establishing a comfortable rhythm again, something causes a disruption to test you once more.
A/N: I am over the moon and completely floored at the response to this series and am so thankful to each and every one of you who continues to read it and be excited for it! A big thank you to all my readers as well as @spaghettificationandpretzels for cheering me through this last chapter 💗
photo by @avatarskingdom and edited by me.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7
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Will opened his eyes with a smile, feeling relaxed and content, the tension in his neck and shoulders that had been constant since before he left on the op finally gone.
You were still sleeping soundly, tucked up beside him where the curves of your back meshed into his front like you were made to fit him, his arm comfortably draped over your waist.
The sheets barely covered both of your bodies, and the feel of the fan blowing against his bare skin had Will feeling like he never wanted to move, but it seemed someone else thought differently.
The loud bang of cabinet doors and the clink of dishes in the sink pulled another smile across Will’s lips, hearing Benny’s not-so-subtle announcement that he was home, and Will carefully lifted his arm off of you to check the time on his watch, seeing it was well into the morning already and that having a visit with his brother was more than overdue.
You only stirred slightly when Will lifted himself off the bed, adjusting a little as your body subconsciously searched for his, and as he pulled on his boxers he allowed himself to admire you, never able to get over how stunning you were even in your sleep, how divine you looked naked in his bed.
He closed the door quietly behind him, but with all the racket Benny was creating he wasn’t sure why he even bothered, and made his way to the kitchen, shaking his head.
Benny looked at him with a big grin on his face as he entered the room, setting the pan back in the drawer that he had just taken out.
“Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you?” he said through a laugh.
Will couldn’t help but laugh too, his grin stretching so wide it hurt his cheeks as he stepped toward his brother.
“You’re not fucking sorry.”
“You’re right, I’m not,” Benny admitted, wrapping his arms around Will’s back.
Will returned his embrace, both of them hitting each other firmly on the shoulder a couple of times.
“It’s good to see you, bro,” Will said, realizing he had missed his little brother more than he thought.
“Yeah, you too.”
Will studied Benny as they pulled away from each other, assessing his brother to make sure he wasn't missing if anything was wrong with him, meanwhile fully aware of the fact that he was the one who needed an eye kept on him.
Obviously sensing Will’s feelings, Benny lifted his chin and asked in a serious tone, “How’re you doing, man?”
“I'm good…yeah. I'm good.”
“Yeah?”
Will nodded in confirmation. “Yeah.”
“Are you gonna tell me what happened?” Benny grinned, his question pertaining to you, having seen your car parked in the driveway.
Will shrugged and looked away, unable to help the smile appearing on his face.
“She showed up,” he breathed, the relief he still felt over it showing.
Benny raised his hands to prompt Will for more. “And she's still here so…”
Will nodded again, crossing his arms over his bare chest.
“So what does this mean?”
“I don't know.” Will puffed the air out of his lungs, that bit of alleviation he had just felt tainted by doubt, the realization that you still hadn’t discussed anything making him worry.
Benny covered his face with his hands, groaning loudly.
“Oh my god, you two!” He let his hands fall, looking at Will exasperatedly. “You really just got right down to business, huh?”
Will huffed out a laugh, unable to defend himself. “Yeah.”
“Well stop fucking talking to me, go and figure this shit out!” Benny shouted, shoving Will on the shoulder to turn him around and point him back in the direction of his room.
“I know! Okay!” Will chuckled as he started to move. “Will you be around today?”
“I’m gonna give you two some space and go to the gym, but I’ll be home later.”
“Okay. How did your fight go?” he asked, realizing he hadn’t yet.
Benny smirked, his head held proudly. “Beat him with a 10-8.”
“Atta boy,” Will winked, clapping his shoulder.
“See you later, bro. Glad you’re home.”
“Thanks, Ben. See ya.”
Will walked the rest of the way to his room, carefully opening the door to find you still asleep, and his heart swelled.
He took his boxers off and slipped into bed, gathering you in his arms like you had been before, your sleepy moans making him smile.
His nose nuzzled into your neck, the warm scent of your skin the best thing to ever exist, and he pressed a kiss to the spot between your neck and shoulder, moving his mouth all across and back again, not able to resist.
A lazy hum sounded from you, your body moving against his as you began to wake, your bum rubbing against his groin in a way that made him moan and grind on you.
You rolled over to face him, a soft smile dressing your perfect lips, your eyes hazy with both sleep and adoration as you greeted him.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning, sweetheart,” Will breathed, the weight of almost never experiencing this again hitting him hard.
You traced the line that flanked his mouth with your finger, ghosting it over his upper lip and then down to his bottom one, the fullness of them mesmerizing. Leaning toward him, you kissed him, softly and slowly, like you couldn’t kiss him enough to make up for the time that was lost.
A flood of emotions surged through you, feeling tears sting your eyes, your throat restricting and forcing you to pull away.
You could see the concern in his eyes, and you did your best to meet them but couldn’t, your blurred gaze falling to his chest instead.
“You hurt me.”
A breath shuddered out of him as he reached up and smoothed the side of your head, desperately again and again, his forehead leaning against yours as he fought off tears of his own.
“I know. I’m so sorry.”
He continued to hold your face, his fingers clawing your hair as you both focused on breathing, his nose nudging yours as he shook his head slightly.
“I don’t know what I can do to make it up to you,” he whispered, his voice full of remorse.
“Just be here,” you muttered, taking his hand and holding it in yours, squeezing it. “I can’t go through that again, Will. You need to let me be here for you.”
He nodded, his words small when he spoke. “I know.”
You inhaled deeply, continuing to try to muster your courage to keep speaking.
“I get why…Benny told me about the nightmare – I just wish you felt you could’ve trusted me to understand. I know that I’ll never be able to fathom the things you’ve been through but I can try, Will.”
“I was so stupid,” he muttered. “Of course I trust you. I wasn’t thinking…I didn't want to hurt you, but I didn’t know what else to do. I was scared…”
The shake in his voice and the look in his eyes broke your heart, seeing him so dejected and full of shame, making your tears come out faster.
“It’s okay,” you cried, angling your face toward his more, your lips brushing.
“That nightmare was so real. I couldn't handle the thought of actually hurting you and I'm still convinced I could. You know what I did to that guy in Publix…” he explained, thinking of all the other heinous things he’d done to other human beings.
“That's not going to happen, Will. I don't believe you could ever hurt me.”
“But I did hurt you–” he choked, his eyes so full of pain.
“Will…It's okay. We're okay. I forgive you.”
You kept repeating it, hoping he would believe it, your lips moving to kiss each other tenderly.
Will separated his mouth from yours after a minute, but remained close, his eyes searching over your features as his hand broke the connection with yours, moving it up to cup your cheek and smooth his thumb over it.
“I love you,” he confessed, a surety finally held in his words.
“I love you too, Will,” you returned, a sob following, and he kissed the streaks of tears from your cheeks, eventually moving to your lips.
It wasn’t long before he was covering you with his body, kissing you breathlessly while settling between your legs, his rigid cock nudging your core.
He pushed inside you, stretching you out until you were full of him, his mouth moving off of yours to allow you to take a gasping breath, his nose nuzzling your cheek as the rest of him remained still.
“You’re my everything,” he whispered, resting his forehead on yours as you breathed together, relishing in him being inside you unmoving.
He flexed his cock, and you moaned quietly at the sensation, responding by squeezing your walls around him, your mouths beginning to tease each other again.
“I thought I’d lost you, Will.”
He shook his head, his brows knitted together. “I'm here, sweetheart.”
Will shifted to wrap his arms underneath your body, fully laying on you and holding you as close to him as he could, his cock moving within you as he adjusted making you gasp.
He stilled again, his eyes flickering up from your chest to your lips and then to your own loving gaze, breathing out before crashing his lips against yours.
You tried moving your hips, needing to feel him move inside you, only to have him press himself down harder on you to stop you.
“Shh, not yet, baby. Just let me feel you.”
He stole your air as he kissed you again, hard and claiming, his body heavy and secure on yours, nothing moving on each other but your lips as his tongue filled your mouth.
You felt his cock pulse against your walls, making you even more desperate for him, your fervor increasing wildly as you clenched around him in a tight grip.
He growled against your lips, still trying to hold off, but the feel of your hands beginning to run up and down his back, clawing and tearing at his flesh had him fighting off the urge to take you hard and fast.
As slowly as he could, Will dragged himself out of you, all but his leaking tip, and plunged back in as deep as possible, feeling your soaked hole encase him and your walls flutter around him, swallowing your whines as you writhed beneath him.
He repeated the movement, all the way out and back in again, his mouth leaving yours to travel down your neck, sucking and kissing your sensitive skin as the sound of your intoxicating moans filled the air.
His thrusts were slow but forceful, moving the bed with each blow, the build-up to this bringing you close to your climax quickly.
“I love you,” he uttered against your skin, his lips smearing across your chest as he continued to drive into you hard and purposefully.
“I-I love you too!” you wailed, on the verge of more tears as your body tipped on the edge of bliss, the claim of his love spurring your pleasure even more.
Hearing you return it seemed to encourage him too, his movements growing more powerful, his grunts like music to your ears, and feeling you were close to coming apart, he kissed you again, commanding and needy as you both sought your end.
He held you in the tightest grip as your body tensed and spasmed, bucking into you deeply as he filled you with his hot seed, continuing to move his hips until his cum was leaking out of you.
Your hands ran through his hair, both of you breathless when you halted your kissing, Will’s eyes full of emotion as he looked at you.
“I mean it, sweetheart,” he stressed. “I love you so damn much. I’m so sorry I did that to you.”
He turned his face and kissed the palm of your hand as you cupped his cheek, feeling the softness of his beard against it as you nodded in agreement.
“I know, Will. I know. I love you too.”
He smiled despite tears appearing in his eyes, leaning down to kiss you again, his breath shaking into you.
You stayed as you were for as long as you could, taking each other in as if all the ways you had memorized each other wasn’t enough to satisfy the time you were apart.
Will laid on your chest, his face turned to the side to give you a view of the way his golden eyelashes touched his cheeks, how the hair around his mouth was bleached lighter than the rest, feeling his heart beating against your stomach.
His long fingers ran patterns up and down your waist, following the curve of your hip, the veins that ran through his skin like rivers prominent on his forearms even through his tattoos.
“Where do we go from here?” you wondered out loud, playing with his hair idly, questioning whether it would be better or not to drop right back in where you were before, if it was even possible.
Will sighed, and you watched his eyebrows rise on his forehead. He didn't speak right away, the way he was carefully configuring his answer clear on his features, and after a minute, he sighed again and turned his head, pressing a kiss on your stomach.
“I don't know,” he said, honestly. “I think it might be wise not to rush things…” He paused, shaking his head slightly as he blew air out of his mouth again. “But we said that before and didn't manage that very well.”
He turned his head to look at you and chuckled while you smiled, nodding in agreement.
“I understand if you're hesitant or don't trust me,” he continued, his tone changing to be more serious. “And I can't blame you for that. I know how badly I messed up.”
He propped himself up and shifted, moving up to collect you in his arms and lay beside you on the pillows, switching positions so you rested your head on his chest instead, your lips grazing over the warm skin on his thick pecs.
The truth was that there was no way you could hesitate on loving him, your heart set on belonging to him no matter what you faced, and despite what had happened, you knew you would trust Will with keeping it safe and not breaking it again.
You tilted your head to meet his gaze, your finger reaching up to trace the line beside his mouth, knowing that even if you agreed to take things slow, there was no such thing when it came to your love.
Summarizing it all in the best way you knew how, you smiled and brought your face close to his, your lips brushing his when you spoke.
“All-in. I’m all-in, Will.”
He smiled and you saw his eyes glistening before he rubbed his nose against yours, his hand coming up to hold your face to keep you close to him.
“All-in, sweetheart.”
“Will! WILL!”
His name cut through the dense air in your piercing voice, making a shiver run down his spine, the sweat on the back of his neck feeling like drips of ice.
He looked right and left, everything black, and all he could do was listen, being as still as possible to try to figure out which direction your screams were coming from despite wanting to run as fast as he could to get to you, but all he could hear now was his cold blood pounding in his ears.
“Will!”
Again, only further away this time, and he whipped around only to continue facing complete darkness, his panic rising with each second that passed.
He started sprinting, hearing you begging for your life, your cries and struggle becoming clearer and closer as he moved.
His body hit a wall, his hands frantically searching it for something other than the smooth, hard surface, unable to find its end in his sightless hunt. Reaching a door, he turned the handle only to find it locked, immediately starting to slam his body against it to try to force it open.
Your screams increased, just on the other side, your desperation growing in knowing he was right there, but the door wouldn’t budge.
Will kicked and rammed his shoulder into it over and over, his breathing ragged and laboured as he tried to work through his panic, and finally, it gave in.
He stumbled through, his eyes frantically searching for where you should be, only to find the space where he had so vividly heard your screams completely empty.
“Will! Please!” you wailed, the sound distant again and making his stomach lurch that he couldn’t get to you.
Room after room appeared, all of them empty even though he swore he could hear you in each one, and he began yelling back for you, trying to keep you talking so he was able to follow your pained voice.
“No! No, please!” he heard you beg, your voice full of terror and quieter than it had been before, and then it was silent.
Will continued to search every room, and after opening the doors of about twenty more, he finally found you laying in the center of the room.
You were facing the other way, unmoving, your form limp on the cold, concrete floor.
His heart was in his throat, and he could barely capture a breath, stepping toward you hesitantly in fear of what he was about to discover.
His knees struck the ground and he reached for you, pulling on your shoulder to turn you over, the cold of your skin telling him exactly what he already knew.
A sob escaped his mouth before his cries filled the air, tears blurring the sight of your lifeless face, the colour of your lips darkened by death.
He pawed at you, trying to shake you awake, his mouth instinctively covering yours to try to give you his air even though he knew it was pointless.
Something cold fell against his hand and he stopped his efforts to revive you, bile rising in his throat when his eyes focused enough to see what it was.
Two silver tags were dangling from your neck, the chain wrapped so tightly around your throat that it was embedded in your flesh, your skin marked with bruises and cuts from it cutting off your air flow, the information listed in the embossed writing all things Will knew by heart.
MILLER
WILLIAM J.
196-37-5436
O POS
NONE
Will screamed himself awake, flying up in bed gasping for air, his cheeks wet with tears and his heart furiously pounding in his chest so hard he clapped his hand over it in fear it would stop or jump out.
His panic continued, realizing you weren’t in bed with him, his body shaking as he tore the twisted sheets off his legs and stood.
With the nightmare so fresh in his head, every door he passed had him feeling sick, but he pressed on, moving toward the kitchen in the dark as quickly as he could.
His feet nearly slipped on the hardwood floor from his sweat, his breathing not slowing, and a relieved gasp shuddered out of him when he stepped into the kitchen and saw you standing at the counter pouring yourself a glass of water.
The small light above the stove illuminated your half-clothed body, his t-shirt covering just enough to keep you modest, and you turned around the moment you heard him come in.
“Hey, I–,” you started, your face falling in seeing the state he was in. “Will, what happened?”
You basically threw your glass in the sink and stepped toward him, holding either side of his face where you searched his wild eyes, his breathing short and gulping in his distress.
“Will, listen to me, breathe…” you stressed, trying your best to keep calm, forcing your own breaths slowly out of your mouth to get him to follow suit.
He nodded in your hands, his eyes closing as he worked to focus, the skin around them crinkling in his efforts that almost seemed to cause him pain.
You counted slowly, your voice calm and even, feeling your heart break the longer it went on and he had only settled slightly.
“Will, look at me, I’m here,” you reminded him, exhaling again as his eyes flashed open and locked with yours, his head shaking back and forth as he swallowed hard and his broken voice echoed in the kitchen.
“It happened again–”
You gathered him in your arms, thankful when he did the same, his grip on you so tight you wondered if your ribs would crack but didn’t care, soothingly running your fingers up and down his wet back as he gripped at you like he needed to prove you were there.
“It’s okay. It’s not real.”
You repeated it over and over until he eventually relaxed against you, his mouth smearing across your neck before peppering kisses onto it, his hands still groping and pawing at your form.
He sighed out deeply as he peeled away from you, his hands running up your waist where they pulled your shirt up with them, his eyes switching to have a desperation in them that differed from before.
Will clasped your face and angled it toward him, leaning down to capture your lips in a tender kiss, able to feel the tremble in his fingers from his lingering panic.
“Thank you, sweetheart,” he breathed.
You returned his kiss. Once, then twice.
“Are you okay?”
He leaned his forehead on yours, sighing out slowly again.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “I’m okay. You’re okay…” he said, reassuring himself.
He kissed you again, deeper this time, drawing in a long inhale as he did.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he whispered when he parted the seal of your lips briefly, taking another breath before crashing against them again.
You moaned into his mouth, your legs feeling weak to his advances, feeling his cock hardening against you through his boxers.
His tongue explored your mouth, his fervor increasing quickly thanks to the adrenaline coursing through him, his hands slipping under your shirt to stroke your naked sex.
“Will…” you breathed, inhaling sharply as he slid his fingers between your folds and fingered you.
He kissed down your neck and then up to your ear, his breath making your shiver, and as he hooked his fingers inside you to massage your g-spot, he grabbed your earlobe with his teeth and tugged on it, a low growl making you melt.
“Turn around, sweetheart,” he growled, not giving you the chance to comply as he guided you to face the counter before you could even move.
You planted your hands on the ledge, gripping it tightly while spreading your legs apart and hinging slightly at your hips, granting him access to where you both needed him to be.
You heard him tear down his boxers, and you gasped when you felt his cock land between your legs, nudging at your center where he dragged it back and forth, his lips landing on your neck while his hands grabbed at the hem of your shirt to lift it over your ass.
“I need you, baby,” he groaned, kissing your neck until you were squirming.
You tilted your head to expose more of you, sighing out as you relished in the feel of his lips on the space between your shoulder and nape.
“I'm right here, Will,” you assured, permitting him to do what he wanted with you while reminding him that whatever happened in his tortured mind was false.
His hand splayed out over your stomach, holding you against him as he pushed inside you, and you let your head fall back onto his shoulder as he began sliding in and out of you, his pace determined and steady.
You reached your arm up behind you, your fingers finding his hair, raking through it while he continued to kiss and suck on your neck as he fucked you, his hand that was on your belly falling to your clit where he rubbed it purposefully.
“Fuck, Will…” you moaned, your breathing growing ragged with each second that passed with him rutting into you.
His hand that wasn’t between your legs explored you everywhere else, pulling at your nipples through the worn cotton of his t-shirt, the soft plush of your breasts being squeezed in his large palm, grabbing at you desperately and thoroughly.
“Come for me, sweetheart,” he growled beside your ear, his thrusts increasing. “I need to feel you cream on my cock.”
His demand and the sensation of his mouth continuing to attack your neck sent you over the edge, his dick slamming against your g-spot and his fingers toying your swollen clit making you do exactly as you were told, feeling your release soak his fat cock.
Will didn’t falter, keeping his tempo with his hand planted firmly on your cunt, the only change being his breathing turning ragged and his grunting sounding louder in your ear.
“Again,” he ordered, “I want to keep feeling you.”
The tone of his voice made you gasp, your arousal pushed beyond any limits, knowing he couldn’t get enough of feeling you fluttering and squeezing and creaming around him keeping that heat billowing at the base of your spine.
You rocked to his movements, meeting him in his thrusts, equally as eager to feel him fill you up and throb inside you at the same time you lost all control again.
You tore at his forearms, clawing him frantically as you leaned back against him, relying on him to keep you upright instead of bracing yourself on the counter.
“That’s it,” he purred in your ear. “I’m right there, too. I need you to come with me.”
“Fuck!” you wailed, your pleasure spiking as his one hand squeezed your breast, plucking and pinching your hard nipple between his fingers.
“You feel so fucking good, sweetheart,” he groaned. “I love you so much.”
Will held you tighter, keeping you as close to him as possible as he slammed into you, his lips landing on your neck where he could feel your pulse hammering against them.
You were completely alive, breathing and writhing with life in his arms, your blood flowing in every part he touched, his hands awakening every fiber in you.
There was no questioning the falsity of his dream now, your euphoria solidifying your vitality, your body full of life as it shuddered with vigor because of him, the devastation of being the reason you wouldn’t breathe again leaving him with each second he was encased in you.
His hips stuttered as he emptied himself deep inside you, coating your walls that pulsed around him, his eyes falling closed as he began to slow his movements and relished in feeling your hand reaching up to card through his hair.
You hummed softly, the sound vibrating on his lips that he kept pressed on your neck, breathing you in as he listened to your heart thrumming strong and steadily, your body relaxing against his as you both came down to a place of calm.
When he slipped out of you, you spun around, looking up at him sweetly with the most warmth and care in your eyes.
“I love you too, Will,” you whispered, your hands laying flat on his bare chest where you smoothed them upward, holding his scruffy face in your hands. “More than anything.”
He huffed a small laugh, one corner of his mouth lifting as he gave a coy smile, making you love him even more than you thought possible.
“Are you ready to go back to bed?” you asked, wondering if his terror from his nightmare had dissipated or if the thought of closing his eyes again filled him with dread.
He hummed, looking down at the floor before back at you. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep,” he admitted.
“That’s okay. I’m happy to stay awake with you.” You leaned in and kissed his lips softly, pulling away only slightly, dropping your voice to a murmur. “Whatever you need from me, Will, I’m here.”
Your words held so much more than just one meaning, making the ache and residual panic in his heart settle even more, and he found he couldn’t stop staring at the vibrance of your eyes, the spirit in them helping bring him a sense of ease.
“I just need you,” he spoke, his voice quiet but rough with a mix of lust and strain from his anxiety.
Will didn’t exactly want to return to his bed, preferring to stay in the kitchen or go lay with you on the couch, but knew you had already risked enough by having sex where you did, aware that Benny could’ve walked in at any point.
Accepting it was the only option, Will sighed and held your hand, taking you with him to his room, happy with the fact that no matter where he was, being with you was where he felt safe and at home.
You went to crawl back into bed when you got inside and shut the door, but Will stopped you, tugging your hand that was still entwined with his, pulling you into him.
You smiled against his lips, your foreheads touching, and Will breathed, closing his eyes as he let his hands roam your body.
“Hang on, sweetheart,” he whispered, his hands grabbing the hem of your shirt to pull it over your head.
His face dove to your neck, kissing a trail over your collarbone and down to your chest, his hands grabbing at your warm, supple flesh, every touch another reminder that you were very much alive.
He moved lower, sinking to his knees as he went, his mouth sucking and smearing wet kisses over your stomach and now your thighs.
Your hands wove through his hair, your breathy moans sounding above him as you anticipated the next part of you he would touch, giving him more evidence that he needed to forget the things his mind had tried to trick him into believing.
As Will met your cunt with his lips, slowly and tantalizingly licking through your folds, he vowed to spend every moment awake loving you, your body his refuge and temple to worship, your heart beating with a furious love just the same as his.
It was fairly quiet considering it was Sunday, and for that, Will was thankful.
You had already navigated the grocery store together, something he had come to appreciate more than you would ever understand, and were now making a quick stop at the hardware store.
Running errands with you put him at ease, the seemingly simple and mundane task typically a feat for him to tackle, but he knew he could face anything as long as he was with you.
“Oh, we should pop in the bakery after,” you suggested, looking out the window somewhat excitedly as Will parked in front of the hardware store beside it.
“You can run in now if you want.”
You turned your head to look at him questioningly, your eyes searching him to verify the confidence in his recommendation, clearly worried and always fully aware that he didn’t like going into stores solo.
“It’s okay, I can just go in with you and we can go together after,” you tried, only to make Will shake his head as he reached his hand over the console and took yours.
“I’m fine, I’m only grabbing light bulbs and some oil for the lawn mower, I promise I won’t hurt anyone.”
You smiled only when his own grin stretched out on his face, a look of understanding and surety appearing on your features.
“Okay, sounds good.”
You went to reach for the door handle, only to be stopped by him tugging the hand he wouldn’t let go of toward him, turning back to face him where he leaned over the center that separated the two seats.
“Not without a kiss,” he purred, looking at your lips through his long eyelashes that gleamed in the sunlight.
You smiled and met your lips with his, lingering a moment before you could get too carried away.
“See you soon, sweetheart.”
Will was thankful for his pleasant enough experience, quickly finding what he needed and reaching the cash register to check out without any interactions with anyone other than the older gentleman who owned the store and rang him through, walking out of the door that chimed as he left while tucking his wallet back in the back pocket of his jeans.
He looked up as he took a couple steps, only to stop dead in his tracks, seeing you standing outside the bakery having what looked like a too-friendly of a conversation with a man he had never seen before.
He did his best to assess the situation, trying to read the body language of both you and him, and the longer he took in the scene, the angrier he grew.
You seemed somewhat nervous or uncomfortable, touching your hair a little more than normal, taking a subtle step back as the man leaned in closer.
Your polite giggle filled the air, and the man beamed whenever you did, his eyes unashamedly flickering all over your body and constantly on your chest, making the rage inside Will bubble to the surface.
“I’d still really like to take you out for that dinner,” he heard the man say, and before Will could hesitate any longer, he was closing the distance between you.
The man smirked and tilted his head slightly, eyeing Will up and down when he approached and immediately landed his hand on the small of your back, glancing lower to watch you place your hand on Will’s stomach that rose and fell with deep breaths.
“Sorry…uh, I’m Cam,” he introduced, shooting Will a confused look as he extended his hand.
Will didn’t accept it, instead continuing to stare him down, his voice tense when he spoke.
“Did you get what you needed, sweetheart?” he asked you, still holding eye contact with the stranger he was imagining landing a right hook to his square jaw.
“Yeah, I did, I’m ready to go,” you said sweetly, a nervous shake noticeable in your voice.
Will could feel the tension coursing through you, your muscles rigid as you walked to the truck with his hand still on your back, looking at the ground until you reached the passenger door that he opened for you.
He closed it once you hopped in, glancing over at the man who was staring in your direction, Will remaining fixed in place until this ‘Cam’ finally surrendered and turned to walk away.
Will sighed as he walked around the front of the truck, getting in and closing the door, but not slamming it like he wanted to.
“Will I–” you began, stammering to explain.
“It’s fine,” he cut off, his tone sharp. “I broke up with you.”
He was more mad at himself than anything else, still unable to believe how stupid he was for having let you go, a flood of emotions running through his veins.
He breathed out slowly, nodding and closing his eyes when he felt the soft comfort of your hand cover his.
“How could I have expected it not to happen? Look at you, you're the most gorgeous woman in the world and I let you go.”
“Nothing happened,” you stated, the surety in your voice making Will turn to look at you. “I was out with Nicole and Grace and he came over to our table. He asked for my number and if I was interested in going for dinner with him. I wasn’t even thinking, I was numb…” you paused, the remembrance of your hurt plastered on your face. “I said yes but never followed through. I was in line at the bakery and he was there behind me and said hello.”
Will nodded, relieved at your words, but still found it difficult to come up with his own.
He swallowed hard and looked straight ahead out the windshield at the people passing by on the sidewalk, remembering all too well how it felt to know his ex was cheating on him every time he deployed, yet never once did he feel as possessive and threatened as he did now.
“You have nothing to worry about, Will,” you assured, squeezing his hand three times, giving a soft smile when he finally looked over at you. “I love you. I only want you, and that was the same even when you weren’t with me.”
Will leaned over and kissed you, hard and claiming, his hand holding the side of your face in a grip that told you just as much as his kiss did.
There was a mix of things in his wild, cerulean eyes when he pulled away from you, making your heart hammer even faster in your chest.
“I don’t think I’ll ever deserve you, sweetheart,” he began. “But I will spend every second trying to.”
---
Taglist:
@sotwk @dailydragon08 @sunnys-day @thedreadandthefugitivemind @glassgulls
@littlenosoul @glitterypirateduck @momia2910 @maggotzombie @rmwarn90
@paintlavillered @casa-boiardi @stealfromthedevil @kmc1989 @justreblogginfics
@spaghettificationandpretzels @whatever-lmaoo @steviebbboi @charethcutestory02
@christinhunnam @hp-hogwartsexpress
#10/10 would read again🥹#more like infinity/10 would read again🥹#author rec pookies👻🌸#top tier writer🙂↔️#top tier writing🤞🏾#one of my faves😍#pure talent 🤩
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okay but here me out: you're a prostitute hired by laurie bc she found out that andy is cheating on her and needs proof for a divorce. when you see him, the payment is merely a bonus
wait i love this but i wanna modify it slighty: you’re a private investigator hired by laurie to seduce andy to prove he’s cheating!
this got so nasty so fast omg watch out for really dominating andy, with lots of dirty talk and a little bit of manipulation if you wanna read into it
“you don’t have to go through with it, obviously,” she explained, “you just need to get him to admit he’s done it before, and he’ll do it again. on tape, with this.”
she set the audio recorder down in front of you, and you smiled sympathetically.
“don’t worry, ma’am, this isn’t my first time with a case like this. I have my own equipment that’s less conspicuous and more reliable. I could even catch him on film if you wanted.”
“you can do that?”
“yep, I have cameras that look like pens, buttons, rings, earrings, glasses...”
“well, video footage would be even better,” she explained, excited yet somber. “I mean, it would make a better case in the divorce. it would kill me to have to watch it, though...” she trailed off, scratching the back of her neck.
“is there any doubt in your mind he’s cheating on you?”
“only because I don’t want to believe it. but it’s become to obvious to ignore,” she shook her head.
“I understand. it’s hard to stomach that the people we care about most would hurt us like that. but sadly it is all too common. let’s just say that as a private investigator, this is a huge portion of what I do... and I get very steady work. you’re not alone, laurie.”
“thank you,” she smiled weakly. “can you do it tonight? I want this over with.”
“um, as long as it’s pretty late, I have other tasks this evening.”
“oh, late shouldn’t be a problem, he’s out until 4 or 5 in the morning these days. this is the address of his work--” she set a piece of paper in front of you-- “just follow him to whatever bar he goes to from there and you shouldn’t have a problem.”
she’d shown you a photo, so you knew what to expect. you had to come straight from your last assignment following somebody else around the city, so you weren’t dressed for the occasion at all. to follow someone, you needed to dress plain and forgettable; to seduce someone, especially someone like andy barber, you needed to be extremely memorable.
you brought a change of clothes in your car, which you hastily slipped into in your back seat-- it required some acrobats to put tights on in the back of a small car like yours, but you managed to get through.
not just tights, but lingerie and garters. sky high heels, a skintight dress that made you feel like your whole body was on display. a motorcycle jacket and dark lipstick to give the whole look some edge. basically, you’d tried to look as different from his wife as possible. married men who were fucking around on the side always wanted something different, something fresh. you knew how to do that.
plus, the jacket had the hidden camera attached to the lapel, nearly invisible among the snaps and buttons.
the echo of your heels on the concrete floor of the bar made every head turn. it was quiet, and apparently a pretty slow night with only a few men scattered here and there-- the only other woman was the waitress.
andy was sitting at the bar, nursing a beer, and he gave you a quick glance before doing a double take. you tried not to smile visibly. gotcha.
you sauntered up to the bar, leaning forward and making sure to arch your back just so, showing off your ass. “vodka cranberry?” you requested, smiling when the bartender nodded and started pouring grey goose into a glass.
you took a seat decently far away from andy, “adjusting” your jacket to turn the camera on. you wanted to make sure you caught him coming up to you, starting the conversation, flirting first. he looked over at you a few times but never said anything, making you start to get a little impatient, before finally the bartender arrived with a second drink.
“from the gentleman at the end of the bar,” he explained as he handed it to you.
“oh!” you smiled, “that’s so sweet! you can tell him to come say hi if he wants.”
and it was just a few minutes before andy got up and leaned against the bar beside you, looking down at you with dark, half-lidded eyes.
“thanks for the drink,” you grinned coyly, letting your gaze drift a bit. he was really good looking, honestly, and he looked all kinds of right in that suit, too. if it weren’t a job, this might be the kind of guy you would actually flirt with of your own accord. then again, you knew better than to go for a guy who had a tan line on his ring finger-- you hoped the camera was able to see that he’d taken his wedding band off.
“I’m here almost every night and I’ve never seen you before.”
“I’m from out of town,” you explained.
“business or pleasure?” he asked with a little smirk.
“I guess we’ll find out,” you winked.
it didn’t take much more flirting and a few more rounds of drinks for him to ask if you wanted to ‘get outta here,’ and with a giggle and a nod you let him guide you to his car with a hand on the small of your back.
of course, you thought he was going to drive the both of you somewhere. you didn’t expect him to push you up against it and kiss you roughly.
it was so sudden, and you knew you should stop him, but you somehow couldnt bring yourself to push him back, not when the way he was breathing heavily against you made your head spin, not when you could feel his beard and it was so hot for no good reason at all, not when his thick hands were grabbing you at your waist just tight enough to make you breathless.
“get in the back,” he instructed when he pulled back, making you blink up at him in shock. you knew you had enough, you knew you should make an excuse and leave, get this footage uploaded from your mini cam and onto your laptop so you could get laurie what she needed...
but instead you found yourself biting your lip and nodding, letting him open the door for you and hopping in before he climbed on top of you, shutting and locking the door.
“we can go back to my place,” you offered as he started to suck on your neck, pulling you closer.
“cant wait that long,” he mumbled quickly before helping you push your jacket off.
and you could tell that the way he tossed it onto the floor made the camera perfectly angled to see what he was doing to you. maybe it was the perfect evidence for laurie’s case. maybe it was about to tape you in your most intimate state with no way for you to stop it.
certainly there was no way you could stop when he manhandled you onto your hands and knees, pushing your dress up to find your black lace panties, and the garters holding up your tights.
“fuck, look at you... that’s why you came out tonight, then? to get fucked?”
you nodded a little, gasping when he slapped your ass.
“little whore.”
you didn’t think you’d like being talked to like that, but it made your pussy throb beneath the lingerie that barely covered it.
just when you thought he was going to give it some attention, he flipped you around again and pulled you into his lap.
“get on the floor, on your knees, and suck my cock.”
how was he so comfortable telling you what to do? better yet, why were you doing it?
you slipped down, barely finding enough room with your massive heels in the way, and started to palm at his cock through his suit trousers, moaning absent-mindedly when you felt the thick, hard, hot length hidden beneath. your mouth was already watering.
you started on his belt, looking up at him occasionally to find him watching you with a cold, unyielding stare. when you reached inside his boxers and pulled it out, he smiled at your little gasp.
“bigger than you expected?” he taunted. you were speechless, only able to nod in response before he put a hand on your hair-- not exactly forcing you forward, but definitely encouraging you to go ahead and put it in your mouth.
“fuuuck,” he groaned with you licked the head and finally closed your lips around it, suckling gently as your eyes fluttered shut. “no no,” he correctly instantly, “look up at me with those pretty eyes, sweetheart. take it deeper.”
you moaned around him but obeyed, using your hand to stroke the portion you couldn’t fit in your mouth (which was more than half). you started to back away when you choked a little, but he pushed you back down and moaned a little louder, “I like it when you gag,” he explained gruffly, smiling when you looked up at him again, your eyes watering this time. “god, you look so good like this.”
he pulled you off by your hair while you took in a gasping breath, gripping his cock at the base and slapping you lightly on the face with it a few times. when you put your chin by his balls, the head hit you on the forehead... it made your gut burn as you tried to imagine how that would possibly fit in you without breaking something important.
when he pulled you back onto him, bucking up into your throat as you choked and gasped for air, you felt need tingling up your spine from seeing him like this. he was completely in control and yet looked totally wrecked as he fucked your face. it made you so wet you couldn't stand it.
just when you thought he might come, he stopped suddenly and lifted you up onto his lap, pulling your dress down to admire your completely impractical bra.
he grinned when he saw your nipples were already hard, reaching up to tweak them gently until your hips rocked on top of him of their own accord.
“you like having your tits played with, sweetheart?”
“I like when you do it,” you blurted out.
“sweet young thing like you, you’ve probably never even been with somebody who knows what they’re doing.”
it’s not like you hadn’t had some adept partners in the past, but none of them were like this. nobody had ever made you this desperate.
“please fuck me, andy,” you whimpered.
“not yet,” he growled, ripping your bra and tossing it aside.
“that was expens--” you started to protest, but it fell into a moan as he latched his lips onto an exposed nipple, sucking and licking eagerly.
“f-fuck!” you stammered, gripping his jacket tightly as you tried to stop yourself from humping his leg out of desperation
but he wanted you to-- he grabbed your hips and pulled you down, guiding you to rub yourself on his thigh.
“go ahead, pretty girl, show me how bad you want it.”
you were pretty confident that even through your panties, you were going to leave a stain on his trousers.
you could even feel his cock on the inside of your thigh, hot and still slick with your spit, so hard you wondered why he wouldn't just put it in you already.
“please please please, need it so bad,” you whined, “I'm so wet for you, baby, I'm so fucking ready....”
“I know,” he whispered, pulling you closer to put his lips right beside your ear. “I know, baby, I can feel it. I can smell it. you smell so fuckin sweet...”
you whimpered and your head fell back, pleasure shooting up through your body in jolts as you rubbed your swollen clit on his thick thigh.
“want me to fuck you? I’ll fuck you, babydoll. hard and rough just how you need it.”
“yes,” you sobbed.
“I’ll give it to you so good you won’t be able to walk straight tomorrow, won’t be able to sit right cause I tore that pretty little pussy up.”
you gasped but you wanted it, god you wanted it so fucking bad you couldn’t even remember that this was supposed to be a job, not a hook-up. but you didn’t care.
“please baby, I’ll do anything just fuck me, please--” you cried, cut off by him grabbing you and pushing you onto your knees again, slapping your ass one more time before pulling your panties aside.
“god, you’re soaked,” he chuckled condescendingly. “you’re so sensitive, honey. I bet you’ll go crazy if I touch you here,” he proposed, rubbing his thumb over your clit and making you jolt forward from the intensity of it.
he leaned down to wrap his body over yours, holding you close with one arm around your neck as he whispered in your ear, turning your face slightly with a hand on your jaw.
“look into the camera while I put it in you, baby...”
you weren’t sure if it was realizing you’d been caught, or the feeling of him pushing into you that made your eyes water, but a tear fell down your cheek as he buried himself into you with a groan. it was just the right type of pain; with how wet you were, even a cock as massive as his slid into you easily. but it felt like you’d never been stretched so wide and you didn’t even know what to do with yourself as he pulled back and slammed into you.
“I never told you my name,” he reminded you, “but you knew it anyways. and with what I do for a living, I can smell a p.i. from a mile away. you’re not as slick as you think, sweetheart-- well, proverbially slick... cause literally, this pussy is so fucking wet for me.”
you could only gasp and sigh as he pumped into you faster and deeper, reaching parts of you that had never been touched before, let alone ravaged like this. you could feel his smile against your ear as he started to fuck you faster, his free hand palming at your breasts before reaching back to hold your hips steady.
“god, you’re so fucking tight... anybody ever fucked you this good, honey? anybody ever taken you like the needy little slut you are?”
he bit down on your ear and you realized he wanted an answer.
“n-no,” you replied, “never. nobody’s ever fucked me like this, andy.”
“anybody ever fucked you on camera before?”
you swallowed dryly. “no.”
“was it all an act, then? all part of the job? I don’t buy it. I think this is who you really are, a desperate little slut who needs to be stuffed full of cock by somebody who can give you everything you need.”
his filthy monologue fell on deaf ears as you tried with all your might to look away from the camera on your jacket, knowing that you had totally blown your case as well as presumably destroying your reputation. fucking a married man is one thing, fucking a married man whose wife is your client who hired to prove he was cheating? maybe you could spin it as doing your job a little too well?
“I can tell you’re close, sweetheart, go ahead and come for me. I wanna feel this pretty pussy squeeze me, milk my fuckin cock when you come.”
mainly you were just trying not to get too loud, afraid that the car wouldn’t be enough to muffle your noises in case somebody walked through the mostly empty parking lot.
“andy!” you yelped when you reached your peak, not really meaning to but it came out anyways, he chuckled a little, the sound morphing into a growl as you clenched down around him with each wave of pleasure washing over you.
“fuck, don’t fuckin stop, this pussy feels so good I think I’m gonna come inside...”
you were too out of it to protest; you would’ve gone limp and fallen down onto your chest if he hadn’t held you up, his cock flexing against your overstimulated walls as he painted your insides with his come.
he grinned as he stilled his movements, catching his breath for a moment before sitting up and pulling out, slipping your panties back on to keep his come inside for a bit longer.
it was all a blur as he helped you half-redress before he all but shoved you out of the car, stuffing his cock back into his pants before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the engine.
“tell my wife I said ‘hi’,” he winked at you as he drove off, leaving you with wobbly legs balancing on your heels while his come leaking down your thighs.
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Please do a pt 2 of toxic traits that had kenma, kageyama, and Tsukishima. Please make it fluff in the end🥺. I loved it
❝toxic pt. 2❞
↳haikyuu boys toxic traits part two
characters: kenma kozume, kageyama tobio, tsukishima kei
warnings/tw: toxic relationships
a/n: I'm so glad you loved the first one !! I hope this is good enough afndjsmsj
(this kinda long sorry lmfoaodjrnf)
part one here
kenma ;
-its been a few weeks since the two of you had talked properly.
-you did what he wanted, you had broken up with him.
-it felt weird going back to your regular life as if nothing had happened. as if you didn't spend half a year with him.
-it did hurt when you realized he didn't even care. that day when you walked away from him, you doubted that he gave it a second thought.
-but, unknowingly, the whole situation was slowly eating kenma up with guilt.
-after your breakup, he briefly had talked about it with kuroo and that’s when he realized how much of an asshole he really was.
-he missed it when you watched him practice, apparently, the other members of his team did too.
-“where’s y/n? are they okay?” lev would ask the most.
-“they broke up idiot- if you’re wondering how they are ask them yourself” of course, yaku would hit him for even mentioning them.
-up until now, kenma never noticed the little things that you did for him. how you would praise his hard work after practice or a game.
-how you would softly comb your fingers through his hair while playing games. or how you would bring him lunch every day in case he forgot to eat.
-not only that, but he started missing the little things about you as well.
-how your nose would scrunch up when you laughed,
-when you would hold his hand, you’d always rub circles on his thumb.
-how you would hum when playing with his hair.
-all those things, why hasn’t he realized them before? why did he let you go?
-why did he hurt you so bad?
-he wanted to— no, he needed to apologize to you.
-he wanted to be with you again, though he didn’t really think he deserved you anymore.
-he wanted to try anyway.
-you received a text from him in the afternoon. you were hesitant to answer. what could he be asking for? his hoodie that he left a month ago?
-when you finally decided to answer it, it read-
-“Can I please talk to you.”
-he wanted to talk now? he had a chance weeks ago. months even.
-you just sighed and texted back saying yes. he asked if he could come over and you agreed, maybe things would end off on a better note? you’d be lying if you said you didn't miss him.
-when kenma came over, he looked different than how he usually did. he didn't have his psp and he didn't use his phone once.
-he slowly walked to your bed and motioned you to sit next to him.
-“I’ve been a big fucking asshole to you, y/n. I'm so sorry I treated you like that.” he would start.
-he ended up apologizing for everything and told you he never realized how much care relationships need.
-“you deserve so much better. it’s selfish of me to even consider the fact you’d take me back but. I missed you a lot, I'm so sorry for hurting you.”
-you wanted to be with him again, to hold him and tell him it’s alright.
-instead, you rest your hand on his shoulder with a squeeze.
-“it's okay, it’s fine. I messed up along the way as well.” you’d start. kenma kept the same stoic expression he usually had. but you can tell in his eyes, he was hopeful.
-“but maybe we don’t belong in a relationship. maybe not yet at least.”
-kenma understood what you meant.
-in the end, the two of you had agreed that to ever get back into a relationship again he had to work on letting himself be vulnerable around you.
-he had promised to be better for you, and wait until you were ready to be with him again. although you had promised to be with him sometime in the future, the pang in his chest didn't fully go away.
-the day ended with him in your arms, comforting him.
-his arms were wrapped around you, his head in the crook of your neck.
-“kenma, I still love you. you know that right?”
-kenma didn't exactly answer. instead, he pulled you closer to him. you could feel his smile against your neck.
-you both still loved each other but decided to take it slow this time. not wanting to hurt each other.
kageyama ;
(reader is into photography bc that's the only thing I could think of I'm sorry lfmsoakedjdnsn)
-it’s been a few days since his last game, where he basically told you that you “clearly didn’t love him”
-in those few days, kageyama couldn’t explain what he was feeling.
-he always had trouble expressing his emotions. so he often ignored them.
-but this time, there was a pit in his stomach that just wouldn’t go away. whenever he looked at his phone he would be tempted to call you.
-he wasn’t so sure if that was a good idea, but the silence was killing him.
-one day during practice he had asked hinata if he had seen you.
-hinata nodded and told him you were out in the courtyard doing club activities.
-kageyama didn't know you were in a club? though, he hardly payed any attention to that stuff.
-he wondered how he could be so clueless, you two have been together for months.
-that day, he skipped practice. that on its own was a whole different story.
-he managed to find you outside, taking pictures of the flowers and anything remotely interesting you could find.
-but no matter how mundane, kageyama didn't fail to notice the smile you had.
-he recognized that look in your eye, that was the look he had whenever it came to volleyball. how could he have not realized how happy your little hobby made you?
-he wanted you to be happy, to see you smile with so much passion like that.
-kageyama approached you cautiously, trying not to scare you.
-“what do you want kageyama?” you started. it startled him a little.
-you didn't need to turn around for you to know he was there. hinata had texted you that kageyama was coming, of course.
-“Nothing... I just.. missed you I guess” he sat down next to you. neither of you had talked, it became awkward fast.
-“so... you like photography? I didn’t know”
-“of course you wouldn't.”
-kageyama cringed at the words. you weren’t wrong in the slightest, he had been ignoring your interests for the longest and he feels like such an ass for it.
-“I'm sorry for not paying attention” he stated. you nodded at his words. but that wasn’t enough for him.
-“I should’ve payed more attention to you, it’s my fault I got so caught up in my own head” still, you didn’t say anything but you did turn your attention to him. progress he thought.
-“I should’ve realized that this, is just as important to you as volleyball is to me.” he rested his hand on top of yours. in return, you squeezed his a little. he smiled softly.
-“I’ll give you more of my attention from now on. okay? I'm sorry y/n. I love you, I really do.” he finished. and that’s what you wanted to hear.
-you wanted him to acknowledge his wrongs and apologize. you knew kageyama struggled with his emotions sometimes but he would eventually come around.
-you rested your head on his shoulder.
-“did you really skip practice for me?”
-“of course I did”
-by the end of the day, kageyama had learned that relationships aren’t just a one-sided thing. that you cant constantly be supporting him without him supporting you.
-he promised to you that no matter what it is that you would do, he would be right by your side cheering you on.
tsukishima ;
-the days had turned to weeks, and tsukishima was barely paying any attention to you. after your little fight, it was clear that he wouldn’t say a word until you said something first.
-but you were scared to.
-how could you not be? his teasing crushed your self-esteem.
-you would notice things about yourself that you never saw before. picking at your skin for the tiniest imperfections.
-or even trying to change your appearance in any way you could to seem different, but in the end, tsukishima didn't pay attention.
-but someone else did, yamaguchi. he was close to tsukishima and knew what was going on.
-he was the first one to comfort you after your fight with your boyfriend. he promised to you that the things he said weren’t true and he never meant it.
-yamaguchi was slowly replacing tsukishima as the days went by. still, the two of you remained friends.
-“I think you should talk to him, y/n. he misses you I know it” he told you one day. he was on his way to practice and asked you to come with.
-you didn't know if that was really true but you decided to put your trust into him.
-instead of going into the gym yourself, you waited for practice to end nearby. you didn't want to be a distraction.
-when practice did end, tsukishima and yamaguchi ended up being the first ones to come out. yamaguchi was smiling as he yelled out for you. tsukishima stayed silent.
-walking towards the two made your anxiety rise. it was nerve-wracking honestly.
-the three of you ended up walking to the gate before yamaguchi told you that he had somewhere to go first and he’d meet you two later.
-after that, it was just the two of you. you noticed how although his house was in the opposite direction, he still walked with you. you smiled a little at that.
-“So what’s up with you and yamaguchi?” he said bluntly. the abrupt interaction kinda scared you a little.
-“Nothing, we’re just friends. why?”
-“nothing. I just don't like seeing you all friendly with him.”
-“Are you jealous?”
-“I guess so”
-his words were so blunt it left you confused.
-you asked him how he could say something like that when he’s been ignoring you for days. and not only that but just straight-up bully you.
-tsukishima stayed silent at that. he had stopped walking at this point, and so had you.
-“listen. I'm sorry for saying those things to you, I was just stressed and took that out on you. I never meant to hurt you y/n, I mean it” you knew tsukishima wasn't the type to talk so openly about how he felt.
-he probably meant it.
-it doesn’t take away the fact that it hurt you. you told him what his words had done to you, that you had tried to change yourself for his approval.
-at this, tsukishima brought you into a hug. he held you close to him, softly petting your hair.
-“I'm sorry y/n, I’m sorry for taking it too far, for making you think so low of yourself. I promise you I never thought those things about you, I was just mad. I should’ve never taken it out on you.”
-at this point, you didn't know if you should be happy about it or cry.
-“it hurt tsukki.” was all you said to him.
-“I know. I'm so sorry y/n, I understand if you cant forgive me.” he pulled away from you to move your hair away from your face, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on your forehead.
-“I understand that I’ve hurt you. you don't need to forgive me. but please know that I love you so much.”
-afterward, tsukki ended up walking you home, holding your hand the rest of the way.
-he knows things might not go back to being the same, but he’s willing to work on letting you past his walls, being nicer towards those he loves, you especially.
-you know old habits die hard and that relationships aren’t always easy. but this was a journey you both were willing to take. both learning from each other to make sure this never happens again.
——-
I'm really hoping this is okay uh- I tried to make this as wholesome as I could but continuing the theme from last time. I might have to just make fluff has for these three after HANDFJDNN (i’m also very sorry for my terrible english @(*$@*(24)
#haikyuu#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu x reader#kenma kozume#kenma#kenma x reader#kenma headcanons#kenma imagines#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu angst#kenma fluff#kenma angst#kageyama tobio#kageyama x reader#kageyama tobio x reader#kageyama fluff#kageyama angst#kageyama headcanons#tsukishima kei#tsukishima headcanons#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima imagines#tsukishima fluff#tsukishima angst#tsukishima scenarios#PLS I FEEL LIKE I MESSED UP SOMEWHER HELP#st.asks
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birthdays with the boys
in honor of my own birthday, today i’ll be sharing with you what i think your birthday with many cevans characters would be like. enjoy! <3
steve rogers
he leaves his mission early and unannounced so when you wake up to the smell of pancakes in your house, and a man with breakfast in bed you almost jump out of your skin buuut you couldn’t be happier to see him
breakfast in bed is just the start of your bday because he goes ALL. OUT.
as you finish up eating, he grabs a folded piece of paper with a wax seal on it and hands it to you
he tells you to open it once he leaves, gives you a wink, then goes
he planed a birthday scavenger hunt for you!!!
for the rest of the day, you travel around the city to a bunch of important places in your relationship, like your fav dates n stuff
at the midway point of the hunt, he meets you for a coffee and makes sure you’re still enjoying everything before he sends you off with the avenger’s company card and basically tells you to get something nice before finishing the hunt hehe
you do in fact get yourself something nice
at the end of the hunt, you end up at the compound where all of your friends and teammates are and you have a very nice birthday party
by the time that you and steve go home, you’re exhausted but wanna spend a lil more time savoring your birthday so steve suggests that the two of you watch that one cheesy rom com that you love (and he hates)
as you cuddle on the couch, popping the occasionaly popcorn kernel in your mouth, you cant help but to feel grateful that you have such an amazing boyfriend
ransom drysdale
his birthdays were always disregarded when he grew up, so he has a very extravagant celebration planned for you
we all know that he can make a pretty airtight and elaborate plan so you literally have zero idea of what he’s got up his sleeve
enter: a whole birthday week
(he sweet talked your boss into some time off so thats one whole thing you don’t have to worry about)
day one is a whole spa and a shopping day
he can’t stand some of your friends but he invites them anyway bc he knows it’ll make you happy
he’s glaring at your friends while they giggle about some new louis vuitton purse and you’re thoroughly amused by it
you give him extra kisses that night as a reward for not instigating any fights that day (awww bf of the year am i right ladies?)
day two you guys do a museum hop and look at lots of art
ransom rolls his eyes at canvases that have a few drops of paint on them and are called modern art, you think this is hilarious
day three you have a picnic together in a park
ransom knows you have an affinity for charcuterie boards and attempts to make you one himself (and it’s not all that bad), along with a bunch of dainty little sandwiches
later that day, you go to a planetarium together
on your drive back home you have an interesting convo on the meaning of life
day 4 you take a pottery class together
ransom makes the most deformed bowl you’ve ever seen in your life
so naturally you put it up for display in your bedroom (so whenever you see it you can think of him)
day five is a first class flight to some luxurious villa in europe. most of day five is taken up on a plane
ransom lets you lay your head on him while you sleep, even though the position you’re in is making it astonishingly uncomfortable for him
day six you guys explore the city all day together
ransom makes sure not to complain about his aching legs (even though yours are getting sore too, and if he said something you would’ve done something about it!)
on your real birthday (day seven), ransom takes you out to a very nice dinner, and gives you a hand written letter detailing how much he loves and cares about you (because sometimes it’s hard for him to say his feelings)
you’re extremely flattered but have no idea how you’ll top this for his own birthday
andy barber
you and andy aren’t really huge on big gestures, so he does little things throughout the day
while you’re at work, he makes a surprise stop by and brings you your favorite drink & lunch from your favorite food place
he sends a bouquet of flowers to your job as well
after work, he cooks for you then showers you in gifts
your favorite thing that he gets you is a little engraved necklace with yours and his initials on it
at the end of the day, he gives you a nice full body massage and somehow that was exactly what you needed.
maybe not the most extravagant birthday, but a good one nonetheless.
frank adler
you have a pretty chill birthday with him and mary
he brings you a cake that him and mary made/decorated together
it’s kind of hideous but you love it
you guys let mary skip class for just 1 (one) day but tell her to keep it a secret
you call the school and let her fake being sick in the background. it is a hoot
you all go to the zoo together
you take tons of pictures
your personal favorite is one where mary and frank are posing with a giraffe
after the zoo, you go bowling
when you win, the sore losers that came with you claim they were letting you win since it was your birthday
you end your day at the beach, watching mary and her cat play in the sand in your peripheral vision while you and frank admire the sunset
ah, sweet, sweet domesticity
ari levinson
you go to an escape room to celebrate your birthday
it’s just you and ari, but you’re smart so you don’t expect it to be too difficult
🚨wrong🚨
you’re both so hard headed and stubborn that doing any of the tasks is like pulling teeth
eventually the building had to close, and you’ve only finished like... a few tasks in the hours you’ve been there
this was certainly not a bad birthday though, arguing with ari is one of your favorite pastimes
and this birthday certainly did not disappoint
jake jensen
you and the rest of your team decided to go to a little retro arcade for the first half of the night
you spent way more time than necessary watching jake attempt to beat the high score of some random game
after giving up on beating the highest score on a pac-man machine, jake decided to attempt to win you a prize on the claw machine
like, $20 and a few annoyed humans in line behind him later, it was still nothing
when jake finally gave up, the next person in line won the soft and plushy elephant you had your eye on
and while your back was turned, he may or may not have paid off its rightful owner in order to get it with you
it was too sweet of a gesture for you to even try to be annoyed with jake
a bit later, you decided to partake in a game of laser tag which was going on in the same building
this was fine and dandy buuuut
everyone on your team treated every mission (real or fictional) like the end of the world
this made for a few very interesting matches
jake nearly trampled a child more than one time
good thing everyone was required to sign a waiver before playing
a custody battle over which team got to have cougar seemed to be a consistent theme during the night
when you were on different teams, you couldn’t help but notice that jake was getting a little too much pleasure out of shooting you
it was fine because you were equally enthusiastic about shooting him
you were eventually booted from the game when an employee claimed you were all being too rough
at some point you lost the elephant
but luckily for you, you found it before you went home
you were going to keep that elephant forever
johnny storm
you were genuinely convinced that johnny forgot your birthday
he did not bring it up ONCE the whole day
you’re actually kind of hurt for a while and get all in your head
johnny gets the silent treatment 🙄 (but he deserves it)
you decide to stop moping and go out, since it issss your birthday
you do your makeup and put on a skimpy little dress
as you leave your room and start enter the communal portion of the baxter building, johnny stops you and checks you out
he’s like “where are you going????”
and you’re like “out 😐”
and he’s like “are you sure? 🤨”
and you’re like yes duh
then he gestures to the side really quickly and you’re kinda confused then a whole bunch of people pop out and start cheering for your birthday
you’re kinda embarrassed that you spent so much of the day moping but you quickly get over it because you love a good party
by the time that most of your guests are gone, you force johnny to take you out to the club
and of course you warn him not to ever pull a stunt like that again
lucas lee
he forgot it was your birthday
#steve rogers x reader#ransom drysdale x reader#andy barber x reader#frank adler x reader#jake jensen x reader#johnny storm x reader#lucas lee x reader#ari levinson x reader#headcanon#chris evans x reader
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Companions and their mental health statuses?
(Wrote this while listening to a Spotify playlist named "going absolutely fucking apeshit" anyway- I'm gonna split this up by what I think character wise...and then my experiences with these seggsy bitches in game bc boy, it's been wild)
Cait:
•Sufferer of severe trauma throughout her life.
•Shit just gets worse
•Fights for her life and has a strong love for psycho before a special someone convinced her she is worthy of being loved
•Trust issues out the wazoo..for sadly, good reasons.
•Maybe not the worst on the list, but definitely up there.
In game experience...
•GOD DAMN FALLOUT VERSION OF LYDIA- like seriously? Gtfo the doorway! I'm getting blown up!
•Hates everyone and everything except sole and breaking the law.
Curie:
•Actually not all that bad...except for secret abandonment issues.
•Usually masks it by burying herself in research.
•As far as these poor bastards go, she's probably one of the most mentally stable- which is scary.
In game experience.....
•Sweet Frenchie with asshole pets.
(I don't travel with her often 🥲)
Danse:
Pre-Blind Betrayal-
•Confirmed sufferer of PTSD
•Blames himself for the death of several team members.
•Evidence points towards un-talked about alcoholism.
•Seems to be attracted to power armour..
•Not very good but not the worst on this list..
Post-Blind Betrayal-
•Same as above but add on identity crisis times a thousand and two.
•Will literally kill himself (or let you kill him) if you don’t convince him otherwise.
In game experience....
•Fucking goes apeshit, pre or post BB
•Completely unaware of his surroundings unless it has to do with vertibirds flying over head, then it's time for guerrilla warfare. "Fate has decreed that you must die!"- he speaks, drawing a laser rifle.
•Has been caught on multiple instances doing drugs out of the drug vending machine in Nuka World despite clearly being against them.
Deacon:
•Probably one of the more mentally fucked.
•Lost his wife in front of his own eyes in a notably terrible way.
•Escapes his deep seeded pain through his elaborate schemes, justifying it by telling himself it helps his organization.
•Still feels like shit every waking minute.
•Cant really allow himself to get close to anyone because of his experiences.
In game experiences...
•Asshole
•Jumpscare king, mainly because I didn't know he changed outfits THAT often.
•Doesn't like physical affection??? Shit that actually makes sense..
•Stalker.
Gage:
•He's pretty "meh" on the sanity scale. He's ruthless, but he's entirely stable besides his attachment issues.
•Trusts too easy and hates himself for it...also tries to make himself not be that way and for the most part, it works!
•Problematic raider.
In game experience...
•Makes stupid comments at inappropriate times as though he wishes for the enemies to murder us
•Thinks that walking through walls is entirely possible and gets stuck every time I run with him
Hancock:
•The actual worst on this fine list of mentally messed up individuals.
•Self worth is just nonexistent despite being a pretty all around decent guy
•Uses drugs to cover up terrible trauma to the point of putting himself in the greatest danger just short of dying
•Oh yeah, doesn't mind death actually.
•Doesn't feel worthy of anything deep down.
in game experience...
•Shoots sole for stealing shit in the third rail
•Unhinged
•Sits for hours
Macready:
•Lost his wife in a horrific way
•Only has his son, who he is convinced is going to die sooner than later because of something he can't control
•Willing to do everything if it means caps to send to his sick child
•Doesn't really have a place to call his "home"
•Reckless and unforgiving
In game experience...
•Being nice? How dare you speak such ill language.
•Kleptomaniac
Maxson:
•Does as good as a boy his age with all of the responsibility possibly could.
•Just imagine- your dad died when you were super young. Your mother shipped your ass away. The people you loved like family died all around you. Now you're stuck in foreign land and have no fucking idea where to begin, only that you have to mobilize these fuckers you're in charge of and remain a good leader...
•Still not good enough? Okay, pile on insomnia, alcoholism, and the thought that you have no one alive that truly loves you as more than just the "elder". Oh, but you eventually got to spit out some kids somehow because you're the last of the great "Maxson" line...
•Also not exactly on the "stable" side..
In game experience...
•Stares intently down the Prydwen command deck with his hands behind his back..for hours.
•Never wants to chat :(
•Long winded and short sighted, bad combo..
Nick:
•Has to deal with not only demons that technically aren't even his, but after "reunions"- Kellogg's fucked up self haunts him. He keeps it to himself and suffers silently.
•Deals with the pain of knowing there will never be a place where is truly just himself. He's a man trapped inside of a metal cage..and yet he's not even really "that" man, is he?
•One could easily understand how he has some issues too.
In game experience...
•Cigarettes? Yes.
•Oh, Youre in a fight? Seems like a good time to tighten the bolts in my hand right about now...
•Wields a flamer like a champ.
Piper:
•Surprisingly..has the most sound mental state out of all.
•Is a little obsessive tho
•Has had to adapt to the role of sibling and parent to her younger sister, which isn't easy for anyone.
•Often delves into her work, sort of like curie, to avoid dealing with the pain of her parents no longer being there for her or nat.
In game experience..
•Hey kid, want some Nuka-Cola?
•Mayor McDonough shall die, even if it means execution by the hands of everyone else in Diamond City.
Preston:
•Has canonically admitted to considering suicide.
•Is holding onto the last threads of hope he has with a fucking death grip.
•Definitely not of the best mental state
In game experience...
•Doesn't know how to properly use furniture.
•Can hear sole coming from a mile away and is already getting the map out for the next settlement
X6-88:
•Emotions? Is that a snack?
•Seriously though, he has been "reset" so many times that sometimes-he doesn't even realize it- he doesn't even know what "he" is. Every aspect of who he is..it should be gone, he's a machine and he knows it...why does he still feel like a person?
•Short story, he hates life. He hates being held captive and being used like a damn hound to hunt down those who were smart enough to run- those of which he envied and didn't even realize he did. Hey, he's just a machine though- it's his job and he knows better than to revolt.
•Violence is the freedom he feel he has. He can kill and track in any way he wants, so long as it is successful and what the Institute deem appropriate. It's horrible, but he doesn't realize it- and at this point he doesn't care. The death of another and the way they die by his hand is just his way of expressing who he is deep down.
In game experience...
•Oi, you don't like the institue? FUCK YOU
#fallout 4#fallout#paladin danse#fo4 companions#fallout companions#danse#elder maxson#fallout shitpost#porter gage#curie#x6 88#cait#deacon#hancock#fo4#nick valentine#arthur maxson#brotherhood of steel#macready
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Manager!Seijoh Part 5
a/n: we ltr going at 5 parts and i have another part written out and im just drowning in love with these seijoh asks
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
anon request:
Can i ask for cute moments between manager and the boys outside of school, like how she and kyoutani probably bump into each to go feed strays etc??
yes anon!!!!!! these moments made me so soft™
IM CACKLING LIKE BLS THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE ENTIRE STAGE PLAY BC HE PLAYS OIKS SO WELL AND IWA IS JUST SO IWA AND I LIVED FOR OIKS’ ‘IWA-CHAN!’ AND IWA’S ‘RAAAAA!’ AND THIS GIF JUST SHOWS SEIJOH BEING SEIJOH AND HOW THEY WOULD REALLY ACT IF THEY WERE REAL LIKE UGH THEY DID SUCH A GOOD JOB W THE CASTING
these are the cute little moments and get ready to die of the cuteness
be warned, this isnt a straight plot or no main focus but just bits and pieces of fluff
keeping up with seijoh episode 3467328937
as mentioned before, they dont really get to hang out a lot w you outside of practice
youre either too busy taking care of your schoolwork, catsitting for the aizawa’s, or having you time since youve been busy w the boys all week
but there are times where you do have available time to go hang out with the boys
and they know about your schedule so they try to make memories either during practice or after practice
fortunately, kyo lives at the same street as the aizawa’s so he walks you to their house when you have a job
but sometimes when you are just walking home, you both stop by the convenience store first and find some cat food cans and dog food cans and water
it was a complete accident when you both found each other standing at the same aisle, holding the same things, with the same intentions, for the same animals
the alleyway where you first met is basically your second home bc thats where your babies live
since you cant exactly take in 5 dogs and 6 cats in your house, you and kyo are taking care of them in that alleyway where you feed them and build them a little shelter with blankets and stuff
this will be explained more in the next manager!seijoh part
after practice, particularly after a really productive one, the guys like to go to the ramen shop near the school to treat themselves after their hardwork
by now, the old lady who owns the shop knows their order by heart and has it ready when you all enter
yall get settled in but you go over to yahaba and snap his wooden chopsticks for him bc he never snaps them properly and ends up breaking them
meanwhile,,
you gather as much napkins as you can and place them beside kindaichi bc he makes such a mess while he eats and you have stand-by wipes for him
you make a special request to add tofu into iwa’s ramen bc the mans loves tofu so much and he still doesnt understand how the lady seems to know this despite him never telling her
your seat is usually next to mattsun bc he doesnt eat all the side dishes up like the others and you can eat some of it too
kyo sit across you and demands you eat at least 2 bowls bc you never seem to eat enough and he gets secretly concerned so he aggressively cares for you
‘kyo-san,,,, im full though’
he ‘glares’ at you
‘what you mean youre full. you didnt even finish the bowl. eat the rest and have another or youre not leaving this table’
pls what
fun fact, oikawa actually has two pairs of glasses and he gave you one in case he forgets to wear his main one and leaves it at home
so he gets to school and he just realizes he forgot his glasses and his contacts were still being shipped so he freaks out and texts you about it
but you always have the case safely tucked in your bag so you wander up to the third year floor and knock on his class door
iwa, who is in the same class as him, glares at the students who stare at you and nudges oikawa who was looking out the window
‘oi, your glasses’
his head snapped to the side and sees your smiling face and the familiar brown box being held out to him
his face scrunches and he launches up his seat and takes you in his arms
‘Y/N-CHAN IS SO RESPONSIBLE! SO NICE! OIKAWA-SENPAI REALLY APPRECIATES YOU!’
‘oikawa-san, please let me go’
you mumbled, embarrassed at his behavior in front of the whole class
once iwa has you safely on the ground, you excuse yourself and go back to class
the class still stared at the door you passed through and iwa had to bark at them to go back to their business
youre like the seijoh and younger version of goddess kiyoko
before kyo got back to the team, you usually walked home by yourself but makki actually accompanies you when he doesnt have errands to run
‘makki-san, i heard theres a sale going on for puffs’
you would mention as you walked and you would look to see his eyes light up and walk faster towards the bakery
‘cmon, y/n-chan. makki-senpai is treating you today!’
he turns into a child, a contrast to his chaotic energy in school, and he runs over to the glass where indeed, there was a sale going on for his puffs
while he was staring at what flavor he wanted, youd go to the cashier and give her your card
‘when that guy with the light brown hair with the blue and white jacket comes up to pay for his cream puffs, charge it to my card, please. whatever you do, dont take his and use mine immediately, please. ill come by later and pick it back up’
the old cashier lady felt true hope and happiness for humanity at your actions and it increased when she saw the shocked look on the boy’s face when she immediately swiped the card when he finished ordering
‘what? i havent paid-’
‘the young lady that came with you already did, young lad. shes a keeper’
he turned red
‘ahaha, no, shes our team manager’
once he finished paying and went outside, he took out his phone and dialed your number to call you
you smiled from the aisle in the convenience store down the street bc you were expecting him to call you
‘hewwo, makki-san’
he shut his eyes at how cute you sounded
‘y/n-chan, senpai wanted to treat you today!’
he whined but you bit your lip, leaving the store after purchasing a drink with the remaining cash you had
‘hmm, but i did too. you just werent too fast, senpaiiii~’
you teased and he let out a breathy laugh
‘next time i’ll be faster! mark my words!’
‘then im looking forward to it, senpai~!’
did anyone notice that he is the first one she called senpai?
to our baby yahaba
we know how he literally tried to go after yachi in that one episode so you know how flirty he is
but youve made it clear that you reject his advances and he pouts and finally accepts it so he stops it, instead actually just caring for you
ya know how he cares for the others and cheers them on?
he does the same to you
our babie notices that you are so busy taking care of the others that you forget to take care of yourself
like that time they lost to shiratorizawa, you made bentos for them all week to cheer them up
but he saw you not even eating and realizes that you were busy making the food that they like, each different to accomodate to their taste, that you had no time to make your own
he went down to your class and noticed you missing and he asks kindaichi and kunimi and they said that you said you wanted to get fresh air
since he pays attention to you, he knows you like to go to the roof to breathe
he ventures up the stairs and when he opens the door, he notices you just staring up at the sky, sitting down on the floor
‘being in an empty place like the roof doesnt compare to how lonely Pluto must feel to be outcasted in the solar system’
your comment catches him off-guard but he regains composure and makes his way to you before sitting down next to your form
‘hmm, oikawa-senpai talked to me about space one time. he mentioned the vast possibilities that stays hidden in the shadows’
you and him turn your head at the same time and share a gentle smile
‘but its up to us to find those secrets and abilities’
you finished
he nodded and went back to look at the clouds that looked like they were slowly moving but it was really the earth turning
‘i want to be a sports instructor. i want to be able to help others,,, i want to help them find those abilities and perfect them so they could fully love playing’
a chuckle escaped you and you tightened your arms around your knees, following his gaze to the blob of white that was painted on to the blue canvas
‘let other people be your universe, baba-senpai. dont let them be like Pluto. take time to find out who they are so they dont feel so lonely, okay?’
yall im tearing up right now though
as mentioned at the first part of this series, you go to the gym very early to set up for morning practice
sometimes, the four third years arrive at the same time but sometimes, only iwa comes
you noticed him put his bag down and help you with the nets before pushing the cart to finish the task for the morning
‘thank you, iwa-san!’
you thanked and he ruffled your hair
‘can you actually help me with my workout?’
you nodded and you knew his routine by now
as he got in position for a push up, you gently sat down on his back so he could start pushing up
you sat cross-legged and you counted every push up and held a timer so he could beat his previous record of 100 push ups in under 5 minutes
IWA IS LITERALLY ON ANOTHER LEVEL
once he hit 100, he collapsed on the floor and you stopped the timer at 4 minutes and 48 seconds
‘good job, iwa-san! new record!’
you cheered and he grumbled on the floor
you gently turned him over so he could lay on his back
he closed his eyes from the bright light of the gym and he raised his arms as his hands made a grabbing motion
‘hug. i want hug’
he whined and you fake gasped at this
‘iwa-san, i didnt know you could be so whiny’
‘huuggg~’
in my series, its canon that iwa is actually a whiny little babie despite that tough exterior and hes much more whinier than oikawa
you laughed before surrending, mumbling ‘yes, yes’
this wasnt the first time this happened since he asked you to do this before bc hes a touch starved babie and as a manager, you must give your team love
you climbed on him and laid your head on his chest while he mumbles happily with his arms going around you
‘just five minutes’
you offered and he said ‘mhm’
well, you both fell asleep and were woken up by scandalized and jealous yells from oikawa
to our baby libero watari
watari is actually the only player who has been to your house before
you made an off-handed comment of making bentos for the team again and he offered to come and help you make them
so here he was, standing in your kitchen, as you were cooking with him
you were chopping up vegetables and he was waiting for the eggs to boil so he was just stirring it slightly
‘wata-san, can you give me a bowl from the cabinet above you?’
he nodded and gave it to you so you could place the chopped carrots and onions in it
once the timer was done, he scooped out the eggs and placed them into an ice bowl so he could peel them later
you knew his favorite food was boiled eggs so you wanted to boil some so he could snack on them
‘can you peel one and see if theyre perfectly cooked, wata-san?’
his fingers skillfully rolled the egg on the table before peeling it effortlessly
he hummed as he chewed on the food
‘delicious?’
you asked and he turned to you, cheeks still full but he raised a thumbs up
you grinned and went back to chopping the scallions
‘actually, i didnt need any eggs for the dishes. i wanted you to snack on your favorites as i cook. its like payment for keeping me company’
his eyes shone and he hurriedly went to hug you tightly
‘i really appreciate everything youve done for us, for me. but i just want you to keep smiling okay? i know we’re a handful and we can get out of hand sometimes but you always keep us together. you must be stressed and there must be times you get angry with us and must’ve cried because of us but i hope you’ll still stay with us even through all that’
WATARI YOU MAKING ME C R Y
lmao kindaichi’s made me laugh
so basically, we all know his famous haircut, right
but what if that was actually just a style hes had since he was young but he has naturally down hair?
the stuff he puts in it like this brand of gel is just so tough and sturdy that two washes of hair is the only thing that can get rid of it
even during practice when hes sweating the atlantic ocean, it somehow stays up
he puts gel on it and stuff after he showers to make it stick up and BOOM turnip head
but one morning, he,,,, wasnt turnip head
the boy woke up late and he didnt have time to perfect the sticking up so he went to school with his hair down and everything
you were already there since morning practice has started and kunimi told you that kindaichi texted him he would be late so you were just patiently waiting by the door for your classmate
but some guy just walked in
your eyes widened and you pulled their arm
‘um, this is for seijoh volley-’
then the words died in your mouth
‘yuu-kun,,,’
you stuttered and he placed his hands on his face to hide away
‘dont look y/n-chan!’
his shout attracted the others and then silence before the laughing and howling started
‘THESE FIRST YEARS I SWEAR!’
makki was on the floor, punching it as he laughed
kindaichi turned red and he was about to run out but you held on to him
‘i can fix it for you, yuu-kun. come with me?’
he nodded immediately and hurried away towards the back where the sun was just starting to rise
you rummaged through your gym bag and found the specific gel brand he uses
kindaichi was SHOOK bc why the hell did you have it?
you noticed his shocked and confused look
‘i knew this would happen. we’ve facetimed before, remember? just in case this would happen, i brought backup’
his eyes glistened with tears of gratitude but you waved it away and started attempting to fix his hair
tbh you dont know why he did this hairstyle because his hair was really soft and nice and he still looked attractive either way
moving on to kunimi babie
lets face it, he probably doesnt sleep at all at night and he suffers from insomnia
and when he cant sleep, he bothers his friends
but he doesnt bother you though
which makes you sad bc you thought you made it clear that he could come to you if he was in need of something
you only found out after kindaichi accidentally blurted out during morning practice of how tired he is bc kunimi wouldnt stop talking to him at 2 in the morning
‘aki,,, you could’ve called me’
you gently said and kunimi scrunched his nose at how sad you sounded
‘you need your sleep, y/n’
‘but i want you to sleep too’
‘kindaichi’s been my contact since i was like 5 so-’
‘so you dont need me?’
your eyes watered and kunimi jumped, frantically fussing over you
‘okay, okay, y/n, okay. ill call you’
then as if they were never there, you cheered up and bounced happily
‘i’m expecting it, aki-kun!’
but at 1:43 in the morning, his finger hovered over the call button on your contact since he really didnt want to bother you
but he could already hear your whines in the morning
‘aki?’
he cursed when he heard your groggy voice
‘sorry y/n, ill hang up-’
‘no!’
you sat up, forcing to wake up
‘stay’
you mumbled and he made a sound of agreement
‘not tired?’
you asked
‘no. well, like im tired but i cant sleep, yknow?’
you laid on your bed with your cheeks puffed out, trying to think how to put him to sleep
‘we can just talk, aki’
‘about what?’
‘anything. just,,, talk to me. i want to know your favorite color, your favorite food, everything about you’
:( morning calls really hit different
last one is our mattsun babie
so like, mattsun is a TREE
im like 5′3 and hes like 6′2 so we a whole dwarf next to him
you are always dwarfed whenever you stand next to him and this little shite takes advantage of that and puts his elbow on top of your head
he likes to poke fun at you but you just pout bc you know hes all fun and games
‘hows the weather down there’
‘so mean, mattsun-san’
but his height did give him a special memory with you though
you were both left in the gym to clean up bc everyone had something to do like oiks had to go home bc takeru got sick and iwa also got sick and you just volunteered to clean up and mattsun stayed behind
you were sweeping the floor and you unconsciously started humming as you swept and started swaying a little
mattsun heard you as he pushed the carts and watched as you just swayed and twirled around and he found himself smiling at you
you noticed him stop in front of you and he bowed down, holding out a hand
‘may i take this dance, m’lady’
you laughed
‘what? whats going on?’
he softly held your hand and pulled you to him
‘you were dancing and i wanted to join you’
you nodded and looked up at him, eyes half-lidded
‘stand on my feet, chibi-chan. i can lead while you sing’
it was a random song you heard from the radio earlier but you complied while he moved with your feet on his
you giggled when he would lean down to softly kiss your forehead and shriek when he would unexpectedly dip you down
either way, at 8:34 PM, you and mattsun danced under the gym lights with no witness except you and him
ughh i really want seijoh now
you and the team share individual memories that are more special than the ones with the others bc its where you could actually be upfront with each other
its just a shame that there are 4 third years in the team that would eventually graduate and go their own separate ways after high school, leaving behind their underclassmen
they could just hope that those memories and special moments would remind them of who you were and how special you were to them since at the prime of their youth, you were their first true love
a/n: ngl i didnt expect to finish this so quick but im just in a really soft mood right now and this is to makeup for the fact that my update schedule could start becoming erratic due to my school so i hope you enjoyed this blurb!! and depending on my asks, there could only be one last part to this series unless someone requests for another specific scenario with the manager!!
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!! imagines#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!! headcanons#aoba johsai#aoba johsai x reader#aoba josai x reader#aoba josai#seijoh#aoba johsai imagines#aoba josai imagines#seijoh imagines#seijoh manager#haikyuu manager#haikyuu!! manager#aoba johsai manager#aoba josai manager#seijoh x reader#aoba johsai headcanons#aoba josai headcanons#seijoh headcanons#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu!! fluff#aoba johsai fluff#aoba josai fluff
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| 🎃 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖍 🎃 |
↪ ✦ close your eyes ✦
this chapter pairing; sub!seokmin x vampire!reader
genre&warnings; vampire!reader, sub!seokmin, dacryphilia(crying kink baybeee)🥴, corruption kink kinda went brrr in this a little, lots of teasing, dirty talk, a little mutual masturbation, tiniest hint of orgasm denial, whiny needy seokmin, allusions to subspace.
he said:
notes; THE-- ☠️ I exposed my crying kink in sdpp so we out here living our best lives now 😗💖 also seokmin being a whiny baby and crying bc everything you do to him is new and just too much for him is so fuckin hot ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ HENNYWAYS, you guys!! I cant believe monster mash is almost at the end, how the hell?!? this went by so fast 😭💕 and thank you for all the love and support on each chapter! even when tumb1r seems to hate me!! Lol, and for those in SoCal, be safe! stay indoors if u can, wear a mask if u have to be outside! And stay hydrated!! I’ll see y’all tomorrow! 🎃 👻 💕
word count; ~2300
chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - x - x - x - x - x
you take a drag, i take a sip;
i want your legendary kiss
you know i got designer taste;
and your design’s too good to waste
when the beast comes out at night;
yeah, it always wants a bite
and i try, try to resist;
but then the devil always wins.
Seokmin doesn’t believe in vampires.
He thinks Halloween is fun, but doesn’t believe in ghosts, demons or anything of the sort so he spends the night in; feet propped up on the coffee table as he watches another rerun of another vampire horror flick that he’d seen at least two times prior.
It’d been thankfully quiet for most of the night, despite the pouring rain and periodic thunder claps, but he enjoyed the way it added to the spooky atmosphere of the holiday.
Seokmin scoffs at the TV a few moments later, hand lodged deep in the bowl sitting in his lap. “Vampires aren’t even real.” He mutters.
“Says who?”
The bowl of popcorn in his lap is sent flying, and he acts quicker than he, himself, anticipates. “Who the fuck are you!? How did you get in here!?” His eyes dance over to the front door still locked and momentarily wonders if he left a window open.
He pales, realizing that it’d be impossible anyway.
Seokmin lived on the 17th floor of the building.
“Well!? Fuck---I’m---I’m gonna call the c-cops!” His shaky hands reach for his cell phone on the coffee table as you giggle.
You take a seat on his sofa, picking off a piece of discarded popcorn as you pop it into your mouth. “And tell them what? Exactly?”
“That there’s a psycho in my fuckin’ apartment and that you broke in!” Seokmin holds onto his phone a little tighter, palms clammy. He didn’t even hear the door open. You nod, pretending to think. “Oookay, so what are you gonna tell them when I do this?” You disappear in a puff of smoke and Seokmin feels like he’s going to throw up.
“Wh---”
“Boo!” You whisper from behind him, laughing when he runs roward and trips back onto the sofa. “What the fuck!?” His eyes show panic and confusion, shaky fingers letting go of the phone that was in his hand as it clatters to the floor.
“I--What are y-you? Please, don’t take my soul, it’s all I have left! I swear!”
You can’t help the laugh that bubbles up from your throat, doubling over as he watches in fear. “Why are you laughing!?”
“I---you--you’re a funny one!” You wipe a stray tear from your eye as you catch your breath. “No, I don’t want your soul, I just want something to eat, that’s all~”
Seokmin’s eyes only read confusion when he stares back at you. “You want… food?”
“Mmhmm~”
You smile wide and Seokmin finally understands.
Ah. That kind.
He doesn’t know why he agrees.
Maybe it’s in his kind and innocent nature to believe you won’t suck him dry like a caprisun, but he agrees.
Maybe part of it is curiosity too and maybe part of him feels bad that maybe you haven’t fed in a while, but he introduces himself after you do and he finds himself trusting you a little bit more.
He’s not totally sure why.
“So----So how does this work, do I just---” He cuts himself off as he shakily turns his head to the side. “Wait, how do I know this isn’t a Halloween prank?! Did Jeonghan put you up to this?”
“Oh! Jeonghan, you know him?”
Seokmin’s eyes almost fall out of his skull. This couldn’t be happening. “Are we talking about the same Jeonghan? Yoon Jeonghan?”
“Yeah, lanky guy with brown hair, right? Super lethargic?”
Yep. That was Jeonghan.
Seokmin nods slowly, still a little perplexed. “So, why do you know him exactly? He hasn’t replied to my texts for the last three days... You didn’t... do something to him, did you?” You sit next to Seokmin on the sofa and he flinches almost immediately; scooting over a little more to put some space in between you two.
He wouldn’t admit it right now, but he thought you were really pretty.
“Um, no. He’s out of town and maybe just ignoring you but he lets me feed sometimes, y’know, when he is around. Maybe that’s why I was drawn here, y’know? Familiarity.” Damn.
Seokmin does feel a little bad now; for himself and for you. He bites his lip as the heat rushes to his face. “How---how do you usually, um, d-do it with Jeonghan?” The heat rushes down his body at the same time at his unintentional innuendo. “I mean, no! Not---not that, I meant how you feed! Fuck, sorry!”
Grinning, you’re quick to make your move as you push Seokmin down onto the sofa and straddle his waist.
“Wh--”
The words are caught in his throat as he watches you lean over to the coffee table to pluck out a lollipop from the bowl of candy. You unwrap it, licking it once before you bring it down towards his lips. He shakily parts them, welcoming the cherry flavoured candy into his mouth.
“You see, Seokmin,” You start, hands already roaming down his torso as he moans around the candy. “When people think of vampires, they think vampires just feed whenever, right? Just a quick bite here and they’re done.” He nods. “But that’s no fun~ So some of us like to play a little first, y’know? Get the blood rushing~”
You cup him through his sweats as he whines and he’s quick to thrust his hips up into your touch before he can even think properly.
Oh, fuck! Don’t do that! He tells himself.
A giggle from you is all it takes for him to blush even harder. “It’s okay, Seokmin. I want you to feel good too. Don’t you wanna feel good?”
“Y-yeah… O-okay…” His voice is muffled slightly from the candy still in his mouth, but he allows himself to lean into your touch. In truth, he was a little scared and a little nervous and he knew you could tell.
“Have you ever done anything… with restraints? Or things like orgasm denial?” You pluck the lollipop from his mouth; a thread of spit connecting it to his lips before you bring it to your own mouth. You quickly bite down on the hard candy, breaking it down into small pieces before swallowing. Seokmin grimaces a little.
“Um…” He’d never even heard of orgasm denial before, much less even had a thought about restraints. “...No. I--I’ve only… um… done it twice...”
You grin down at him, eyes flashing red. “Oh, Seokmin… you have so much to learn.”
You like shy Seokmin.
Maybe even a little too much.
“A-ah, no… no more t-teasing, I--ah!” He lets out a choked sob, hips thrusting up as you continue to tease the head of his cock. You move frustratingly slow and you don’t even bother to wrap your whole hand around him, instead just rubbing your palm across the tip as the tears pool up in his eyes.
“I--I don’t---mmh!” Seokmin bites his lip. He’s never felt quite like this before and the feeling was good, but unfamiliar.
“Don’t even think of cumming either~”
“But--” He chokes up again, except this time he can’t stop the tear that slides down the side of his face. You smile down at him, licking your lips.
“You’re so cute when you cry~ So pretty~” You pity him a little so you wrap your hand around his cock, working your hand up and down his shaft as he lets out a shaky breath. He’s unsure of where to put his hands, so he keeps them crossed over his chest, sweater paws keeping his clammy palms contained as he watches you.
“I--p--please, can I c-cum?” He whispers, voice small and slurred. “Nope~”
He lets out a small sob as he tries to blink away the tears.
When you feel him getting close, you pull your hand off of him; easing off of his lap and to the other side of the sofa. Seokmin watches in confusion, sitting up slightly as he watches you slide your panties down your legs. You toss the material at him, laughing when it falls onto his cock.
“We’re gonna play a little game~” He watches with an open mouth as you spread your legs; gulping when you immediately run your precum covered fingers through your wet folds. “We’re gonna touch ourselves just like this, across from each other, and if you can hold off your orgasm for, oh let’s say, 10 more minutes? Then I’ll reward you.”
“And---and if I c-can’t?”
“If you can’t… Hmm~ Then I’ll have to bring my ropes next time~” You wink at him, fingers pinching your clit as you moan out loud. The noise is enough for Seokmin’s cock to twitch and he wraps a shaky hand around himself as he watches you touch yourself from across the sofa. He uses your panties too, covering them in the precum that leaks from the head of his cock.
It falls into relative silence as Seokmin bites into the neck of his sweater to keep in his high pitched whines and cries. He watches as you sink two fingers into your cunt and he sobs as he thrusts up into the his fist and your panties wrapped around his cock.
This is unfair, he thinks.
“Mmh Seokmin~ I’m already imagining your cock fucking into me so deep… Ah, my fingers just aren’t enough~” Teasingly, you curl and scissor your fingers inside of your tight warmth, genuinely imagining it’s Seokmin instead. He releases the sweater material from between his teeth, drool dripping from his lips and eyes pooling with tears ready to spill.
“Please, I, hic, I--I can’t h-hold off, hic, I need t-to, hah, c--cum… I--I can’t...”
In a flash, the air is knocked out of Seokmin’s lungs as his back hits the sofa and he’s staring up at the ceiling. His sticky fingers find purchase in the material of his sweater again as you crawl back into his lap. You pry off the soaking panties covering his cock, tossing them to the coffee table as he groans.
You wrap a hand around his leaking cock, moving your hand up and down a few times before you use your thumb and index finger to circle the base as you squeeze hard. “Just a whiny baby boy crying and begging to cum. So cute~”
He squirms underneath you as he tries to get you to do something but you hold steady, fingertips wrapped around the base of his cock to keep him from cumming. “Now now, Seokmin. I’ll let you cum. But you have to be patient~ If you cum without my permission, I’ll make you wait even longer~”
Seokmin nods feverishly, uncaring of what came after. You still hadn’t fed from him too and he could’ve cared less about that.
You let go of his cock as he releases a shaky breath and he watches through foggy eyes as you raise your body until you’re hovering just above his cock. You use your hand to position him right at your entrance and Seokmin lets out a sharp whine when you drop yourself down onto his cock in one fluid motion.
“A-ah, fuh--fuck!”
Your pussy is warm, wet and tight and Seokmin is really fighting a losing battle at this point.
He cries quietly, hips canting up to meet you bouncing in his lap.
“Mmh~ Seokminnie crying making me so fuckin’ wet~ Ah~ I’m gonna cum soon too~”
His head is fuzzy and every new sensation makes his body react in a way he never knew it could. The tears blur his vision but he can already feel his cock twitching and body tensing up slightly; a telltale sign that he was already close.
“I, hic, please…” He slurs out, already too far gone. His body felt weightless; a slight floating feeling overcoming him as he continued to fuck up into you.
Your eyes flash crimson and you pry one of his arms away from his clothed chest, pushing the sleeve back as you kiss his wrist.
“Okay Seokmin~ I want you to cum, baby boy. Let me feel your cock throbbing and filling me up with your warm cum~”
Seokmin could die and be happy, thank you’s rolling off of his tongue through choked cries as he finally lets himself go.
The pleasure washes over him after a few more swivels of your hips and he barely even registers the fact you’ve already sunk your fangs into his wrist, too lost in his own bliss.
You moan against his skin, drinking up just enough to get him lightheaded before you’re lapping up the wound.
Seokmin tasted extra sweet.
Licking your lips, you release his arm as it falls limp next to his body and you immediately bring your fingers down to your clit, rubbing harsh and quick circles on the nub to get yourself to cum.
“Oh, god, Seokmin!” You cry; walls fluttering around Seokmin’s overly sensitive cock as he whines and squirms underneath you.
You ride out your high, hips coming to a stop as you catch your breath above him. Seokmin, on the other hand, feels a little delirious and warm; fingertips twitching at his sides. “Ngh…” He whimpers, unable to even speak with how exhausted he felt.
You lift your hips, cum sliding down Seokmin’s cock as he groans in oversensitivity. “Ah~ Look at how much cum you spilled in me, Seokminnie~” His bleary eyes watch as you let the cum slide out of your pussy and right over his cock and he almost, almost hates the way his cock twitches as the sight.
Sitting back on his thighs, you watch him bask in his post-orgasm glow; smacking your lips as you reach for another lollipop from the coffee table. “So~ How did you like it?” You ask, a teasing lilt in your voice when you visibly see his cock twitch.
His throat feels dry, that’s all he knows.
Seokmin’s clammy palms slide back into his sweater paws, pressed tight against his chest again as he gently leans up. You can’t help but smirk at his appearance; puffy red eyes from crying and cheeks stained with drying tears with his cock still curving up to his abdomen covered in his own cum.
“I---s--so what’re you g-gonna teach m-me next…?”
#sub!seokmin#seokmin smut#dk smut#seventeen smut#svt smut#seokmin scenarios#seokmin imagines#dk imagines#dk scenarios#svt scenarios#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#sub!svt#sub!seventeen#monstermash!svt#dk#seokmin#sub!dk
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— full stop | 04
* .✫*゚・゚。.☆.*。・゚✫*. * .✫*゚・゚。.☆.*。・゚✫*.* .✫*゚・゚。.☆.
a series.
a messy divorce, unrequited feelings, and a five year old.
* .✫*゚・゚。.☆.*。・゚✫*. * .✫*゚・゚。.☆.*。・゚✫*.* .✫*゚・゚。.☆.
+ this isn’t a big update, it wasn’t even supposed to be a main part since i wrote this today n it’s literally 2k n i was going to put this in memories n moments but since this an event that had just happened a day later .. sry i’m putting it with the chronological list bc smthg happens at the end.
this is also the jk i talk about bc i cant get him out of my head, frankly
03 ⇋ 05
x full stop masterlist | x masterlist
* .✫*゚・゚。.☆.*。・゚✫*. * .✫*゚・゚。.☆.*。・゚✫*.* .✫*゚・゚。.☆.
full stop | 04: over the fence
Shutting the car door after helping Yeona out, you skeptically glance at her before asking, “Do you need any help?”
Her head stubbornly shakes in between the colored plastic wrap of the flowers and the wide poster she holds close to her chest and a determined pout set on her lips. “No Mommy! I’m okay,” she says, even when she stumbles slightly on the sidewalk’s pavement.
Your fingers ghost against her back just in case, observing her nervously before you both reach the entrance of the studio. “Alright. Just be careful, okay?”
The plastic and paper rustle and it simply tells you she’s nodding back.
You reach for the door and nudge her in the right direction, finally setting your eyes forward and at the front desk where Seol is sat at. “Hi, miss!” Yeona greets, voice muffled and fully unaware of who exactly the person was behind the desk. She’s seen her a few times when you both visited through the years, but not enough to be introduced as Jungkook’s new girlfriend — which has only happened recently.
And as if that was even a thing to her yet.
Seol’s eyes widen before timidly waving at your daughter.
You offer a curt smile and a short greeting before asking, “Is Jungkook busy?”
She doesn’t seem as surprised by your sudden visit, clearly aware of the date on the calendar set out and taped down in front of her as she offers a polite smile back. “I can check for you.”
Her pointer lands on a specific paper, dragging down towards the time slots until it reaches a point. She looks back up. “He’s free for the next thirty minutes before his lunch break.”
Gently patting your hands on Yeona’s shoulder, you begin walking forward, pushing at the small gate that separates the employees from the clients and out of Yeona’s way when she walks through it.
“Thank you, miss!” She throws out, rushing towards his office without even waiting for a reply back.
“Careful, baby,” you remind, wincing at some of the reflective glitter that falls onto the black flooring.
She simply ignores it, greedy hands reaching for the doorknob, unfortunately too short and weak to properly turn it. With her struggling like this, you’re a hundred percent sure Jungkook can hear the wiggling and disruptive noises from the opposite side of the door.
It only reminds you to work on her patience some more when you get back home.
Finally reaching her, you’re the one to open the door and allow her to rush in with the abundance of gifts she’s been too excited to get the past few weeks.
“Daddy!” Yeona squeals, finding him already standing up, most likely preparing to confront the ruckus that was happening behind the door a few moments ago.
With wide eyes behind the lenses he wears today, he immediately crouches down and accepts the ecstatic little girl that sprints towards him.
You stay close by the door after gently closing it.
“Yeonie,” he chuckles after the embrace, fingers supporting the back of her head as he envelopes her further into his chest.
Yeona gasps, wiggling away all of a sudden. “Your gifts — You’re crushing them!”
“Ah,” he sheepishly replies then apologises soon after. “You got me something?”
Yeona eagerly nods. “It’s Daddy’s Day, remember?”
He holds a blank expression and you’re already assuming he has forgotten all about today and that it was just another work day with his schedule full as it always was. “Oh,” he realizes. “It is, huh.”
At this point, it doesn’t even come as a surprise with how little Jungkook truly thought about himself. It reads well when you take a solid look around at the place, his corner lamp turned on and dozens of notebooks stacked up on the table beside his tiny sofa in the corner.
Thankfully, most of his clients don’t go through this way and only reserve the open space in the minimalistic studio, where the divided black curtains are the only thing that separates them from the rest of the shop. This was just a place to plan and clutter most of Jungkook’s things before the next person would show up again, maybe even squeeze in a nap when it was needed.
His eyes finally meet yours and his lips quirk up with a certain gratefulness that fills up his eyes, and you send him a small nod.
Though, your short interaction suddenly gets disrupted when flowers get shoved at his face.
It’s too difficult to hold back a small laugh when he flinches, an eye squeezed shut as the thin veil of plastic comes dangerously close. “We got you flowers!”
“O-Oh,” he coughs out when he drowns in the scent of them, “Thank you, sweetheart.” When he can finally make a grab at them, he takes a look at the kind and softens at the sight. “Tiger Lily’s.”
“Mommy said they’re your favorite,” Yeona enthusiastically explains before pausing to double-check, “They are, aren’t they?” Her doe eyes search for his, head coming closer to observe the flowers with him.
He nods and pecks her cheek to reassure. “They are and I love them. I think I’ll draw some of them later.” He directs his eyes at you when he says, “Thank you.”
You quickly turn away, eyeing the sketches to the left of you, exactly where his messy desk is.
“And this is my card for you!”
She holds it up and even more glitter falls to the floor, but he doesn’t even seem fazed by it, eyes brightening at his little girl’s artwork.
She impatiently hops and the writing seems to be hard to read when he squints through his glasses. You slowly walk over to the both of them and hold onto Yeona’s shoulders again to make her stay still. “Baby,” you warn. “He can’t even read it with you shaking like this.”
She sheepishly smiles and giggles, looking up at you. “Sorry Mommy. Too excited.”
You hum and find Jungkook silent through all of this, eyes glassy from her small fingertips that are seen all throughout the poster. Knees bending, you hold her close as you both watch over him silently. He’s touched, and it shows when he chokes up a little and hides it with a lame cough.
Yeona eyes him worriedly, whirling towards you unsurely before you shush her with a small nod, silently letting her know that it was all okay. “Happy tears,” you whisper to her, your own eyes glossing over slightly. “He’s okay.”
“Daddy,” she timidly calls, “Do you like it?”
He looks up and nods with a smile, arms stretching out so that she can fall back into them, “I do, baby. I love it — I always love the stuff you make for me.”
She giggles into his neck and grapples on tighter.
They exchange kisses and hugs for a few more minutes and you’ve luckily snapped a few photos to send to Jungkook’s mother when you would get home.
When your knees give in eventually, you stand up, mindlessly folding a few of the blankets that were messily sprawled out onto his daybed just to keep your hands busy.
Jungkook notices.
“Uncle Jimin and Tae have been saving up some candy for the next time you would come over,” he whispers and offers to Yeona, “Want to go visit them for a minute?”
She eagerly nods, already squirming out of his arms and rushing out of the room. You barely even have the opportunity to yell at her to knock before going into any of their offices and not to disrupt if they had a client over.
“_____.”
Your head tips at your name only to find Jungkook with a fond smile. He scratches at the back of his head before standing up and thanking you again.
You nod with an awkward smile of your own and explain further, “Yeona had been keen on visiting. Sorry if you had other plans.”
He shakes his head rapidly to decline. “N-No, I didn’t.” Holding up the poster, he glances at it again. “I really needed this..”
You nod thoughtfully. “I’m glad we came by at the right time then.”
He nods and it continues to stay silent for a while. “What are you doing after this?” He suddenly asks, “M-My lunch.. It’s—“
“I’m probably going back home to call up my dad,” you quickly turn down and excuse, fingers playing with themselves.
“Oh.”
“But you’re welcome to take Yeona out,” you offer. “It’s your day after all.” But you grow weary at the thought of Seol tagging along for it. It’s why your fingers suddenly stop and land by your sides to curl against the material of your jeans.
“I would,” he starts, “But I have one last client visiting right after and I’m not sure Yeona would be patient to stay here for it. It’ll take a few hours..”
“Oh.”
“But I can visit when I’m done here?” He rushes.
You rub your arms at the brisk air that suddenly travels downwards and you blame the air conditioning he always puts at too much of a low temperature. You’ve scolded him so many times for it, completely sure he’d get a cold one of these days for being so careless. If you were to call for it, the discourse would go on and on as if it was only a few years back and you were suddenly married again. He would reason he sweats too much and you would go on to say that it was from his heavy and bulky clothes he refuses to switch up every other season.
“That’s—yeah, that’s great,” you weakly smile, completely erasing the foreboding thought before it would turn into a reminiscent den full of memories just like it.
You would have turned him down. You should have, but it would hurt you even more if he would be left alone for the rest of the day, which is why you offer something Hyejin would smack you for the next playdate you planned for the kids, “I can cook dinner.”
His head shakes. “You don’t have to..”
“No, it’s okay. Just come by when you’re finished, okay? That way you can spend time with her properly.”
He doesn’t decline. “Thank you..”
You step away before turning back and grabbing your belongings. “Happy Father’s Day, Jungkook. You should call up your dad and tell him the same,” you can’t help but add, but when you lift your head towards him, he seems thankful for the reminder.
“I will,” he affirms, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his cargo bottoms. You notice for a short while how good he looks like this. Hair washed without styling as if he just rolled around before waking up from a nap and the specks he wears every now and then like he had just thrown them on before getting up. And knowing Jungkook well — that’s probably the case. “I’ll see you later?”
Swallowing harshly, you nod. “Yeah.”
The door opens and you bite at your tongue, though it fails when you can’t help but call for him again with a small laugh weighing at the tip of your tongue, eyes pinned down at his bottom half.
“Hm?”
“Your shirt.. There’s glitter all over it.”
Looking down, he immediately notices and curses, beginning to brush off the stubborn flakes that reflect all over his black short-sleeve.
You shut the door before he can really say anything, and you quickly search for your daughter and her chocolate-smeared mouth you can already predict.
-
Seol hums from her seat beside Jungkook and smiles at him. “Lunch was fun.”
Jungkook’s too focused on the sketch below him, a few of the lilies taken and laid out. He thinks he’ll be able to finish tonight and give it to Yeona after dinner. “It was,” he agrees.
Her hand snakes onto his shoulder and rubs comfortingly before asking, “What are you planning to do tonight?” She’s already getting too excited at the offer she has ready, sitting at the tip of her tongue and ready to unravel.
“Ah, I’m having dinner with Yeona.”
Faltering slightly, she turns back to the same grin a second later. She should have known. It was Father’s Day after all. He has a daughter. He has a family — more or less. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” He smiles. And it’s wide and genuine, not at all directed towards her but at the paper he carefully shades at.
She nods carefully and slowly. “You seem excited.”
He finally looks up at her and he smiles again. “Yeah,” he hums thoughtfully before agreeing, “I guess I am.”
“_____ invited?” She pokes, but he doesn’t seem to mind at all.
“Kind’ve? I asked to visit after work and she said she would cook dinner.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” He returns back to his sketching all too quickly.
Seol bites her lip, hand going up to support her jaw and head as she observes closely, the man she’s been dating for over two months and pining for way longer — the glint in his eye and all.
She only wonders if it was the aspect from spending time with his daughter, or having his ex-wife present in all of it too.
Either way, from the short time in dating him, she’s only seen this particular look on him once.
And that was only when he was married.
* .✫*゚・゚。.☆.*。・゚✫*. * .✫*゚・゚。.☆.*。・゚✫*.* .✫*゚・゚。.☆.
#mine#bts#bts fanfic#bts angst#bts smut#bts fluff#jeon jungkook#jeon jeongguk#jungkook#jungkook scenarios#jungkook drabble#jungkook fluff#jungkook fic#jungkook smut#full stop
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Me, half asleep: hmm chreon
Me, suddenly galaxy brain and wide awake: Chris leaves for edonia before leon can tell him that he's pregnant, he never gets the chance to tell him, chris loses his memories, leon has their baby and then about a month later re6 happens and he and Chris reunite but it's bittersweet bc Chris doesn't remember who leon was to him, cue to the angst of leon having to deal with being alone and thinking chris was dead for his entire pregnancy, and then them mending their relationship as chris heals, and Chris meets the baby and they become a proper family
Me, exhausted from this apparently v taxing thought and now half asleep again: hmm chreon
It had been a long and tiresome six-months plus the oh so fun trip to China...which Chris lost his entire team twice to the same woman who had had an indirect hand in nearly killing his mate and his mate’s partner as well as said mate’s adoptive daughter and the key to stopping the C-Virus. And a tiresome couple of weeks where he took some time off to himself.
Chris shook his head as his escort drove him out to the ranch Leon supposedly now owned thanks to the late Adam Benford. The agent said he had a surprise for him and Chris was practically vibrating in his seat, wondering just what the surprise was. His memory was still a bit fuzzy, so he remembered Leon and wanted to get back to him the whole time he was in Edonia...he just didn’t know his name or the reason why he needed to get back so badly. And then there was...something else. It involved Leon and a grainy picture of some sort...but try as he might, he couldn’t remember what it was.
Hopefully his memory would kickstart back to normal by the time he got there. He really wanted to relive “Memory Lane” with his beautiful Omega. He wanted to experience the emotions that came with those memories. He wanted to remember them too, cursing his broken memories and his damned Amnesia.
The truck pulled up to the ranch, surrounded by miles of grass and fields of corn. Chris’s heart pounded in his chest as he gazed upon the breathtaking sight, unable to believe that this very beautiful but kind of isolated property was now his home too. The truck pulled into the driveway, the driver; Nadia, informing him that they were here. Chris stared out of the window, butterflies beating their wings inside of his stomach and making it churn nervously.
“Captain?” She asked, “Everything alright?”
Chris drummed his fingers on the door, eyes staring at the front door of the home anxiously, “Y-Yeah,” He lied, “Just...nervous...that’s all. My head isn’t so good right now so…”
She gently laid a hand on his shoulder, “You’ll be alright. Agent Kennedy’s been filled in on the situation that occurred over the last several months by Captain Valentine. He’s a good person. He’ll understand.”
“I know,” Chris replied with a slight cant of the head, his other hand toying with his seatbelt, “I just...I don’t want to disappoint him or upset him if he brings up something and I can’t remember…”
Nadia gave him a reassuring smile and a squeeze, “You couldn’t if you tried. He loves you.”
Chris looked to her, smiling a small smile back before giving a nod. With a deep breath, he undid his seatbelt as she unlocked the door to let him out. She bid him farewell and good luck, waiting until he was completely out of the truck and had shut the door behind himself before pulling away. She gave a friendly honk before driving back in the direction of HQ.
Leaving him in front of the house.
Chris turned to it, timidly walking up the gravel and to the wooden porch. He ascended the three steps there, pausing to stare at the door once more. He didn’t know why this was so hard, nor did he know why he was so nervous. There shouldn’t have been something ominous about this whole thing. This was home...his family was inside. His mate and their silly cat. Though, there was a little voice in the back of his mind saying that that was not all that was inside...that he was missing a little detail.
Opening the screen door, he raised his fist and knocked on the solid front door. And then...he just stood there...waiting. He didn’t try to peek through the glass in the door, figuring that would have been rude or it would have ruined the surprise planned for him.
There were footsteps on the other side, Chris holding his breath as they approached the door. Through the frosted glass, he could see a mass of blue and white and beige and brown. He could hear every click of the locks as they were undone, Chris taking another deep breath as the pounding grew louder in his ears.
His breath was caught in his throat again as the door opened, Leon’s smiling face looking up at him, blue eyes clearly filled with tears.
“Hey…” Chris greeted awkwardly, but then gave a soft “Oof!” as Leon nearly tackled him, hugging him tightly.
“Hey, Big Guy.” Leon’s muffled voice replied in his shoulder, the Omega’s face buried in the fabric of Chris’s shirt, “We missed you so much…”
...We?
“I missed you all too.” Chris replied, hugging him back as Leon pulled away, the two meeting for a soft chaste kiss, “You and that goofy cat.”
Leon looked up at him as they parted, canting his head to the side, “...You don’t remember…” He paused mid sentence and gave a nod, “Wait...of course you don’t. Sorry, my mistake. The Post Traumatic Amnesia…”
“What don’t I remember?” Chris asked a bit too quickly, his heart still pounding in his chest. This was exactly why he didn’t feel like he was ready enough for this. This is why he had been putting off coming here for weeks. His worst fear was happening...he was upsetting his mate.
As if sensing his distress, Leon shook his head and carefully cupped Chris’s cheeks, holding his face in his hands, “No, no, no! It’s okay! It was my mistake! That’s why I had a surprise for you!”
Chris calmed down a bit, taking more deep breaths and counting in his head to ten, “Right. You said there was a surprise…”
Leon nodded with a warm smile, “Yeah...I have someone I want you to meet.”
Chris furrowed his brows but let Leon take his coat for him, the Omega telling him that it was okay to take his shoes off by the front door. While Chris did that, Leon shut the front door and locked it, waiting until Chris was settled before taking him by the hand. Chris allowed him to lead him further into the house, going down the hall and to one of the rooms at the end of the hallway.
“You probably don’t remember this,” Leon began, “But...a couple months before you went to Edonia, I was pregnant.”
Pregnant...Leon had been pregnant? Chris thought about what Leon had said earlier...about how “We missed you…”. We…
Leon let go of his hand, opening the door with the little characters on it, looking back at him with a smile.
“Chris,” Leon began, pushing the door open and revealing the crib inside, a little red-headed baby staring back at them, giving the biggest smile he could manage with a pacifier in his mouth, “I want you to meet your son: Oliver Kennedy-Redfield.”
Chris’s heart was fluttering...but not out of nervousness. The Alpha was in awe, smiling as tears welled up in his eyes. He had a son...he had a family who had been waiting for him all this time.
He was home at last.
#Send Me Asks#First Meeting#Chreon#Omegaverse AU#Post Resident Evil 6#Chris Redfield#Leon S. Kennedy#Oliver Kennedy-Redfield#Sunday Funday
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