#i cant even say too much because of the lack of english human words

[moodbroads]

i may or may not be questioning a whole new ahh religion like how are poeple this dumb but like not dumb because human survival instincts i just dont feel human as a whole but like not in a nonhuman way i just cant explain the major crowd herding happening right now and nobody noticing exept me

idk man its hard for me to put it into words

anyways have a lil speculative dude meant for changing gravity lolol

[kabukibun]

i cant believe im typing this i-

since its the tcg patch, heres this: scara teaching kabuki how to play tcg. Kabuki was honored bc usually scara only plays with wanderer (that brought the game to the house from the scholars in the academia) and anytime kabuki asked to join, scara would tell him to go away, that he doesnt know how to play and he will ruin the fun (even tho wanderer tells scara to zip it)

so when they start to play, scara will say the next few rounds will be for learning! He knows kabuki lacks alot of knowledge about humans, game logic included, so even after kabuki will catch the tcg rules, kinda, he could manipulate him.

Kabuki truly enjoys playing with his brother, even if he keeps losing, and he loves staring at the cards! Theyre so shiny and pretty! (Also wanderer made a custom mommy card in an extra art class he had, and since scara told kabuki he can have it, he should have KNOWN something is up. Red flag.)

Kabuki starts to learn, and scara explains the rules in a patient way that doesnt suit him at all. When kabuki wins, he let the pride get to his head (he made some wrong moves on purpose) and lets him relax. Then, he drops the next line:

"y'know, humans bet stuff when they play this game."

liar.

Kabuki doesnt understand gambling too well, but he believe his brother. He is quite concerned, and he tells scara he doesnt have any money. (Broke💀) scara tells him its fine, and betting isnt all about money. "For example," he says, "if i win, you stop running naked around the house, (He had enough, just like mommy) For, eh, week.." (he soften the deal)

"And if i win?"

"...you could share the milk time with me, and not have to wait for you and wanderers turn. For a week." (usually scara drinks alone)

Kabuki is excited. He plays, and he loses, and that puts a stop to mommys headaches... from him at least💀

He is ready to stop, he clearly lost, but scara keeps suggesting stuff he knows kabuki is interested in, and stuff kabuki can lose to him, before he says: "now.... if you lose, you give me 20% of your milk time with mommy." Kabuki is stunned! He tells scara thats not a good thing to bet on, because last time they somehow messed with their milk time, they got punished. But scara convince him with these words:

"If i lose, i give you mine."

Kabuki loses. And he loses again. And scara keeps making the milk time% higher and higher. And when his common sense finally sets and he wants to quit, he lost so much of his milk time and he wants to cry to mommy about it, (not snitch! Poor cutie kabuki just wants to cuddle with mommy and tell her he lost "fair and square" to scara.)

Then scara tells him - one more round. This time, he wont take his milk time, he just wants to keep kabuki from telling mommy. And if kabuki wins - he gets all his milk time back.

Of course, kabuki lost. And thats a good time to mention scara didnt explain ALL the rules to him.

Scara smirks, praising himself for this genius plan, while kabuki is sad and about to cry! Little did they both know, that when big bro wanderer came back home and saw scara and kabuki playing, he decided to spy on them and when the game was finished, he went to tell mommy.

Mommy is FURIOUS.

she already told them not to mess with the milk time, but the little stunt scara pulled truly crossed the line. While she is about to give scara the biggest punishment she can think of, AND taking his milk time, kabuki bursts into tears in the corner, begs for mercy from mommy, he truly believes hes as guilty as scara for gamblimg and falling for scaras tricks. Wanderer just rolls his eyes. Scara is now actually really really scared. Just an avarage day for them.

(Im so sorry its so long- i also never sent something to your blog before but i saw it for quite a while. Im sorry if theres any grammar errors english isnt my first language! And i hope you are okay with this stuff?)

such a cute scenario!!! 🫶

i can’t help but imagine scara having such a hard time holding back a smirk as he’s playing with kabuki.. his poker face gradually fading until he’s practically grinning at kabuki’s misery.

big bro wanderer being such a good spy for mommy, letting her know when her boys are up to no good! scara curses him for being a snitch while kabuki looks up to him for looking after them <3

wahhh kabukimono definitely would share at least half of the guilt with scara if he could. tcg match aside, if scara were to get in trouble, kabukimono would run up to mommy when she’s scolding him and tell her it’s his fault too! he should’ve told scara not to do it, or tried harder to stop him! kabuki’s puppy face has softened many punishments for scara…

(don’t worry it’s okay! i appreciate any length of asks sent to me :) thank you for seeing my blog for so long! no worries about your grammar, english isn’t my first language either!)

[vampkomori]

anyone else think neo’s reports are weird about composers i think theyre weird about composers. lets make sense of joshuas status as composer and hazuki as comparison

this is gonna be a bit long. so anyway the og reports are p straightforward about what Composers (specifically, joshua) can and cannot do:

- Joshua can only pick up Hanekoma’s vibe, because Angel vibes are too high frequency for him to pick up

- Inter-planar contact (so, communication between the UG and the Higher Plane in this case) is difficult, which is brought up because

- The Composer, Joshua, only resides in the UG.

- But the Producer, who is an Angel, mainly resides in the Higher Plane, and only occasionally lingers in the UG.

The whole matter of jumping between worlds highlights the difference between their abilities even more:

- As Composer, Joshua is one of the beings who can jump between worlds, but isn’t meant to do so often. His vibe dipped too low, so Hanekoma had to come retrieve him, because as an Angel this sort of travel is simple for him.

the OG reports make it pretty clear Joshua isnt an Angel

*But. unfortunately its not that easy. because by clearing the final time trial joshua gives you an item called Angel Feather (天使のハネ in JP), of which the description says “Our buyer used divine means to acquire this mysterious feather that was once in the possession of Shibuya's Composer.“ (which some have interpreted as, “in the possession of” meaning “it was given to him” potentially by hanekoma, who actually IS an Angel)

and if things are vague, we turn to the JP to clear us up! but its. still vague there bc it says “バイヤーが特別な力で入手した渋谷エリアのコンポーザーが持っていた謎の羽根“ (The mysterious feather that was held/carried by the Composer of the Shibuya area that the buyer obtained with a special power)

so. we are none the wiser about whose feather this is. i imagine its up to interpretation whether its joshuas feather or hanekomas, who then gave it to joshua. but given how clearly the reports differentiate between the Composer and Angels in regards to their abilities, suffice to say theres two interpretations that are most likely

- Composers arent Angels, their power disparity is just too much

- Composers are Angels, but theyre so much weaker compared to the Angels who reside in the Higher Plane that they’re never referred to as Angels, just as Composers

which takes us to neo, and hazukis little lightshow

i think its notable that the reports dont comment on kubos so-called “exorcism”, and only on haz erasing his noise.

haz himself refers to his little stunt as “exorcising” kubo, while in JP he actually says haiki 廃棄, get rid of, revoke, invalidate.

i think its important that he clarified “i didnt erase him, i exorcised him”. because with kubo, the executor, being an Angel from the Higher Plane, a Composer shouldnt be able to erase someone of higher ranking than them. i think as the person who called upon kubo in the first place, haz could specifically revoke his services and send him back to the Higher Plane.

which means kubo wasnt erased, he was just sent back. hes still kickin

we could leave things right here as they are. Canonically, Composers are so far beneath Angels to a point where even if they were Angels themselves, they are so much weaker than them that they could hardly be referred to as such

this is where the facts end. but im gonna keep going and have fun speculating about things and include some i dont have physical proof of (yet)

its notable that in JP, hazuki says that kubo tried to purify shibuya probably because he wanted to be praised by Hazuki. which is weird if kubos supposed to be higher ranking than haz. (in EN, haz just says hes always been an overachiever) but lets put a pin in that for later 📌

which takes us to the matter of Shinjuku’s Producer. or their lack thereof

throughout all of neo’s reports, there is not a single mention of Shinjuku having a Producer. before neo, we kind of assumed every UG’s setup follows largely the same structure. a Composer, a Conductor, a Producer, and then some Reapers. but Shinjuku does not seem to have a Producer. and i think its because it doesnt need one.

its important to remember Who is writing these reports and Who theyre for. the reports are written by shibuyas Producer, and theyre written for the Higher Plane. and shibuyas Composer cant pick up the vibes of any Angel except hanekoma, so he cant be the one writing the reports for beings he cant even pick up the vibes from, especially since he only resides in the UG.

and yet, hanekoma comments that Hazuki should have filed a report, and that haz is disinterested in the lower planes.

in English its a little vague about who hes talking about, but the JP specifies Shinjukus Composer as the subject of this sentence.

throughout both reports, the UG and RG are considered part of the lower planes. its strange for a Composer to have no interest in the very planes they govern, plus for a Composer to file a report to the Higher Plane when its been established that Joshua, as a Composer, cant even perceive anyone from there.

so i think Hazuki may actually be a proper Angel from the Higher Plane, who was potentially demoted to become Shinjukus Composer.

though you can very much interpret haz “exorcising” kubo as simply “sending him back whence he came”, its of course pretty anticlimactic to see this massive laser beam essentially disintegrate kubo on a molecular level, only for it to have been a quick ride back to the higher plane with kubo being perfectly in tact after. if haz were actually much more powerful than an ordinary Composer, itd make sense why he would have been able to erase an Angel like kubo so. thoroughly.

this would also explain why kubo may have wanted to be praised by hazuki in the JP dialogue. with hazuki potentially being an outlier for Composers and being far Higher ranking than kubo, our executor may have wanted to sucker up a bit. maybe get promoted and away from his “basically a janitor” job if haz puts in a good word for him upstairs

theres also hazukis entire demeanor, and how Bad he is at acting like a normal person

we know of four paths that Players can take

they can choose erasure

they can choose resurrection to return to the RG

they can become Reapers

they can become Angels

and Reapers can eventually become Angels, though its yet unclear if the only way for that to happen is

for them to become Composer (potentially the Lowest Angel-rank there is) and thats it.

or if Composers can ascend and become Actual Angels and eventually reside in the Higher Plane, though how a successor for the seat of Composer is chosen in that scenario is yet entirely unknown since Usually the seat only becomes vacant when the previous Composer is defeated

or if they, as a Reaper, need to Ask the Composer who then asks the Producer to send a guy for evaluation or something

or if the Higher Plane has like, a talent scout guy somewhere.

potentially more than one may apply but at least the last point is the most likely, because

Conductors are invited to the Higher Plane (probably to become Angels) upon purification

(interesting to note that Composers are not mentioned as being invited, which would point to “theyre Angels, but like, weak-ass Angels”)

anyway, the point is that so far weve been told that Angels were Players or Reapers at one point. we know Joshua was a Player for sure, given the morsels of backstory we get from him and Hanekoma. but we dont know if All Angels came from the RG at one point, or if Angels that have always been Angels exist.

either way, the point is that for Hazuki to act so non-human like and to be disinterested in the UG and RG, he either must have been an Angel for a very long time, or he was never human to begin with.

this is relevant to how he interacts with joshua in the Secret Ending, though its a lot less obvious in English, in JP their dynamic is clear: Joshua is his senior, and as his junior, Hazuki looks to him as an example.

for one, thats hilarious. secondly, that recontextualizes like everything

‘course, you could keep the interpretation that theyre just Both weak-ass angels and hazuki just made kubo use a flashy dramatic elevator to the HP and nothing groundbreakingly powerful happened, but thats kinda anticlimactic

so. staying w the idea that hazuki may be a demoted Angel from the Higher Plane, then itd make sense for Joshua to have been Composer for longer than him, and for haz to act Like...That, since he couldve been not-human for a Very long time, or Never was one in the first place, but is still a younger Composer bc he got demoted like. 4 years back or something.

it also explains why Shinjuku may not need a Producer, and why Hazuki is the one writing his reports. its because hes still an Angel from the Higher Plane, so he does not need an intermediary to contact other Angels.

so to summarize what im tryna say here

Hazuki may have initially been a regular Angel from the Higher Plane, before he eventually got demoted to become Shinjukus Composer, despite how disinterested he is in the UG and RG. (he is considered to be “infamously unsympathetic”, a trait which is reinforced in the JP version to be something he is known for amongst the Higher Plane, which could potentially be the reason for his demotion)

Since hes Joshuas junior, that means he hasnt been Composer for as long as Joshua has, so Hazuki looks to him to know what youre even supposed to do/how to act/etcetera as Composer. With his Special circumstances, he does not need a Producer as an intermediary to interact with the Higher Plane, because hes already an Angel so he can do it himself.

whatever Angel Hierarchy there may be, Hazuki is at the very least a higher rank than an Executor, considering how kubo wanted to impress him, and how haz effortlessly got rid of him. with kubo being from the Higher Plane, joshua is decidedly lower ranking than kubo, and cant even pick up his vibe. which clearly positions haz into a unique circumstance as a Composer bc of this discrepancy in ranking and power. amen

<><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><>

theres other things that back this up but i unfortunately do not have a source for them, so This section, take with a grain of salt.

Supposedly, in neo’s data files:

Joshua is referred to as an Advanced Angel

Kubo as a Junior Angel, and

Hazuki as a Senior Angel

i only heard this secondhand and have no way of corroborating this myself, but if this is true then that lines up with the super long super sexy little essay i just wrote up there

this “ranking” solidifes Kubos position as Hazukis underling. which, if he were an ordinary Composer, wouldnt even be possible.

Joshua is notably a different rank from Haz, though its difficult to figure out if “Advanced” is supposed to be Lower than junior, or Higher than senior. thats up to interpretation until its possibly ever acknowledged,

but my interpretation is that an Advanced Angel is lower than a Junior Angel. i think “advanced” in this case is meant to refer to the traditional evolution of players to reapers to the composer, advancing from one status to the next.

--

**Little post-edit, @/inkerii gave me the actual designation in the files! (so this ones backed-up!)

so in the files, theyre designated ranks are as follows

Joshua: 男、天使上級 ※前作  (Male, Senior/Advanced Grade Angel ※from the Previous work)

Hazuki: 男、天使上級 (Male, Senior/Advanced Grade Angel)

Kubo:   男、天使下級 (Male, Junior/Lower Grade Angel)

so haz and joshua are the same rank bc theyre both Composers! since thats an internal data text kinda thing it might not have any bearing on like, potential Technical exceptions since they Are both the same “job”, but mightve gotten it under different circumstances.

as for kubo potentially being lower ranking than even a Composer, i think unless we find out what a Producers ranking is, we cant say much abt whether an Executors lower or higher. i kinda mean it in the sense of,  Producers are a Composers subordinate bc they follow their orders and have to create the things theyre tasked to make by the Composer (pins, etc), but may still be “higher” in ranking because they reside in the Higher Plane/jump between parallel worlds, while a Composer cannot. an Executor may be in a similar position where theyre a Composers underling, tasked by Composers to purify things, but may actually be “higher” in ranking because they reside in the higher plane, etc!

i think regardless of whether kubo turns out to be lower ranking than joshua or not, hazuki could still be Even More Higher in a way where he actually has like, sway over whether he could get a promotion! if that was his intent. he could also just be a huge suck up. a real kiss ass. teachers pet for angels

---

theres also the ntwewy Official Guidebook, which has a small comment beneath hazuki that says

and i additionally remember an interview, though i dont have a source for this claim and i could very much be misremembering, but i recall seeing the reason for hazuki not being the final boss is because they did not think players could suspend their disbelief far enough to accept that the twisters would be able to defeat a being from the Higher Plane.

which is perfectly reasonable, but

Composers are meant to be able to be defeated by Players or Reapers. if hazuki really was so powerful that itd be impossible for them to defeat him, then hed be far too strong to be an ordinary Composer, since thats. how you take over in the first place. thats kinda the whole plot of og twewy.

anyway that concludes my case

[navybrat817]

I just want you to know that there is nothing for you to feel guilty or sad or depressed or whatever it is when you cant be active at all.

Here comes a personal experience, please keep in mind that English is my third language and im not using an English keyboard.

I started Wattpad at the end of 2019. A year and half later i had a really big disagreement with my online friend group i met there and i stopped writing there for more than four months. I had no motivation to share mu writing after separating my way with them. After that period i take my five books to drafts because that was what felt like the right thing.

I want to talk about what i felt at that four months and rest of the two and half months which i still wasnt active or creative at all. I was scared that i would loose all of my followers or readers, that i would start again if i turn back to writing.

I also felt guilt because i thought i was being selfish when i was spending my time offline without even explaining anything to my readers. But than i noticed that this wasnt the case. Because i had more than a hundred people who was waiting for me to come back and some of them even send some messagges, they said that they would support me even if it takes a really long time i never come back at all.

I noticed that even if i cant write for a long time or interact with them at all it was my right to take my time. And the same is for every person out there who shares their writings online.

Not being able to write, not having time, or just basicly not writing anything is just normal and totally okay.

So what i wanna say is we all know that you dont upload based on a schedule (i dont even remember how that word is spelled) and we accepted that. We know that there are times where you have to be with your kids so you cant reply to our asks sooner but that. Is. Okay.

That is not just for you but also for everyone who feels guilty when they cant write because of the lack of time.

Spend time with your family and friends, spend time with yourself and write whenever you feel like it because the best writings are written when you write them by taking your sweet time.

We love you so much and thank you so much for every little or big thing you have written, are writing, will write.

(i hope that wasnt too long or boring, just wanted to explain that also i had a "no muse, no energy, no time" phares just like every other writer and wanted to let you (and everyone who reads that) know that sutiation is okay. This is accepted, normal, and actually every persons right.)

Before I get into it, I just want to say thank you for sharing your personal experience. 💙

I'm sorry about the disagreement with your friend. I've known writers who have distanced themselves from or stopped talking to others because of writing. Some have been ghosted without an explanation or cut off. It hurts at first not knowing, but it also enriches the good experiences.

It sounds like you also received the support you needed during that time, which is wonderful. You knew stepping back was the right path and came back when you were ready. Not writing for lengths or time or interacting is normal.

The guilt and fear you felt, it's very real! I had a brief discussion with a couple of moots yesterday and I said think many of us are conditioned to "produce" or have FOMO when we can't interact with other writers or blogs. There's that worry of being "phased out", but at the end of the day, the people meant to be there will be. And true supporters will wait as long as necessary.

Your message was not too long or boring. You were vulnerable and caring by sharing your experience and it's a beautiful reminder that we're human and deserve breaks and grace. I hope someone else reads this and takes comfort in it. Also amazed that English is your third language! 💙

I appreciate your kind words and my "door" is always open. Sending so much love and thanks. And happy FriYAY! ❤️

[twopoppies]

Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!

Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust

i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?

like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)

Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:

Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???

Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt

Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn

both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it

YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway

It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)

Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!

It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting

I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them

Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it

and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe

and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it

Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%

You first!!! Always! :)

Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!

Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.

And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.

The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.

Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!

[antiloreolympus]

14 Anti LO Asks

1. To the one anon: good question - how is it that the mortals dont know who Persephone is / assume she is a minor goddess and therefore its okay to mess with her but the gods (or Olympians / underworld denizens) know exactly everything about her (despite her being there only every so often and only being 20ish) - enough to say shes "wearing her signature white color" during a murder trial.

Also the reason why Persephone is wearing white is because

A). RS wanted persephone to always be "dressed as a bride" (and have Hades dressed as a groom respectively) to show that their matching / is supposed to be a visual cue that their eventually gonna be together.

B). I believe this is RS way of saying that Persephone (despite murdering some mortals) is innocent because in purity culture White = innocence, virginity, youth etc. (Even though RS explicity ssid she wanted to go against purity culture morals shes very much leaning into them). 

2. why are Psyche’s eyes yellow even in her human form? Is she sick??

3. honestly? LO is just gossisp girl at this point, espect even GG (at least in the first season) bothered to saturze the rich and was calling out how wealth and power makes them corrupt assholes. meanwhile LO is just GG season 2 and on of being like no no, the poor people are the evil people and the rich people are the oppressed ones! all while also fawning over their  wealth and status and being way into grown men wanting to bang barely legal teens and claiming to be "feminist" somehow.

4. Tumblr is well-known for broken tag system. Check the post' tags before complaining that it's op's fault. How about you guys not tag greek mythology when posting about LO? LO is not one-shot or short fancomic. It's also definitely not considered actual greek mythology. LO is years long webcomic with huge fans. LO has its own tag. Tell your fellow fans to stop using the greek mythology tag.

5. I would argue nyx is the only woman with a unique in design in LO but thats only because she looks like a deformed chicken woman. why was my night mom disrespected this much 😭

6. So now that LO is back from break and I can finally read chapter 170 - Why oh Why do ALL the female characters Have to be defined by their male love interests??? (Or really just love interests in general).

I understand LO qualifies as the "romance" genre and there are certain stipulations or I guess themes or what have you that make it romance but for f*cks sake.

Psyche being worried about Eros loving the "fake" her I kinda get, but really? Thats your most pressing concern?? Hera is defined by her garbage marriage to Zeus - King of the gods (of which is why she is Queen of the gods). Hestia + Athena are now defined solely by their relationship to each other (not the TGOEM or their respective traits of being a goddess of the hearth + goddess of war, strategy etc etc).

Aphrodite is defined by giving Persephone "relationship" advice (e.g: telling her to curb stomp Minthe because "nymphs dont take things from gods" - doubly implying that people are things to own) And by her jealousy of Persephone in the first place because Hades made a comment about how he thought Persephone was prettier than her. And also because of her "house of debauchery" (Artemis'  words) - and relationship with Ares.

Persephone is defined both by Apollo raping her and by her fated future status as Queen of the underworld (so her relationship with Hades). Hell, even the minor characters such as nymphs are defined by this relationship status / standard. Minthe is defined by her mean spirited personality yes, but Also because of her abusive relationship with Hades prior to the introduction of Persephone. Psyche is defined by her relationship woes with Eros. Daphne is defined by her relationship with Thanatos (and because shes a flower nymph) but also mostly because she looks like Persephone.

Rhea is defined by her marriage / relationship to Kronos (lets ignore the whole "fertility goddess power" plot for a second). Even Aetna is defined by Haphestus creating her! Is there not a single character (especially female) is isnt defined by their romantic love interest???Sorry. Maybe I'm overthinking this, but thats definitely how ot comes off as of late, in regard to the latest chapters.

Okay, same anon as earlier - I take it back somewhat - we have Artemis and Hecate that are not defined by their romantic relationships - but rather their lack of one.

However the way they are shown - it still comes off as a standard - "Artemis is stingy / a stick in the mud" because shes not romantically involved and is "barbaric" (according to Hera). And Hecate is still somewhat defined by her being Hades' employee (and cheerleader for him and Persephone to be together).

So technically yes, we have at least 2 characters that are not defined by their romantic interests / relationships, but they are still held to the standard of their "un-ladylike / undesirable" because their not romantically involved.

(I guess I should count Demeter, but only because shes more defined by just being "Persephone's overbearing mom" )

7. i think whats also kinda weird about this trial is like?? persephone is obvs framed as not liking the attention (bc duh) but she didnt like the previous press either, she wanted to be private, but wouldnt being with hades force her to be in the spotlight that makes her uncomfortable? also the citizens of the underworld already dislike hades, why would they want a uncontrollable felon as their queen, even if she found innocent? idk the whole thing just makes the endgame less plausible, tbh.

8. love that rachel was able to find a random deity name to name her random nymph the greek word for "beans" meanwhile apparently cant google actual greek names for even one off characters? like andrew, ellen, george, alexis, damian, luke, phoebe, sophia, and so any other english names are also greek, but she cant even bother with that? what exactly is her "research" if she cant even bother to spend 30 seconds googling greek names? at this point LO seems determined to be as un-Greek as possible.

9. wait so everyone in LO went from having no idea who persephone was, to her only showing up on ONE magazine cover, to now being the most well known person with a signature color? all in the span of two weeks with no genuine public outings? how does that make sense? also white isnt even her signature color if 90%+ the female cast and even a lot of the men ((including ZEUS) all wear it too.

10. the fact the courthouse WASNT the areopagus, aka the place in greece where they say the first ever trial ever happened and where the court system was invented, is just another point of rachel talking out her ass about being "respectful" or "researched" on greece and their mythology. its literally one of the most famous mythology spots ever with some fantastic stories to it and she's just like "nah! boring rectangle will do!" like why even both with mythology then if its this devoid of it?

11. Anons are saying Hades in the FS chapter is leaning down and talking to Persy like a child. Say it aint true.

(I wanna see. I thought RS was finally giving Persy adult proportions). 😨

12. So wait, hold up. I kinda get where RS is coming from with the law school in the underworld (because Hades is supposed to be a kinda Judge, jury, executioner situation in the afterlife when it comes to mortals and their "punishments" and whatnot). However, is RS stating that the ONLY law school / courthouse exists in the underworld? If so, why? Why wouldn't Athena be there then. She's a goddess of strategy and justice (among other things).

Also is RS really implying that Hades owns not only the banks and underworld but the law too? She really wants Hades to be a Gary Sue along side her Mary Sue - Hades controls everything that matters and since its his realm and blah blah blah rules, Zeus, king of the gods cant do anything about it.

(Which is dumb. Because you would think that because Persephone committed the crime in the mortal realm / on, or near Olympus that therefore she would be brought back there to dole out justice under Zeus jurisdiction because she committed the crime in His Realm). 

13. FP Spoiler ahead:

Why on earth couldn't the reporters have Greek names? There is so much wrong and bad with this story, yet this irks me so much. It is Brenda all over again.

14. i dont really get the point of the trial plotline, tbh. even persephone says she should be punished and held accountable, but hades is framed in the right for trying to go against that and weasel her out of it. so?? plus zeus has legit reason to punish them? persephone is a danger to others, demeter and hermes both committed treason to cover it up, and hades was harboring a fugitive of the law and is now trying to force the system to let her go. how is zeus in the wrong for this?

[lansizhuis]

I’m seeing so many posts lately on how problematic and fetishising danmei is and I feel very discouraged...danmei has helped me feel more confident in my own sexuality and I never thought it was a bad thing. Can you elaborate on what some people think is wrong about danmei? Thank you

disclaimer: my response is specific to my own experiences so it’s def not a universal thing but perhaps can hopefully be considered as another perspective. and whelp im on mobile so i cant add the read more function, imma edit this when i wake up

I think this is almost the same “issue” with JP yaoi genre and how much the West have vilified the term “fujoshi”. This issue has a long af history so let me just redirect you to this short collection of threads about it. Anyhow, connecting it to danmei which now deals with CN culture on the take of BL, I think it’s a lot about outsiders to said culture demanding they be put in the spotlight aka if it’s not THEIR standard then it’s “wrong” and is therefore ~problematique~. This kind of baby activism which is performative at best mainly takes root in the Western ideology/society. I’m not saying all Westerners are like this but that a large chunk of the really loud ones are most often than not — them. I’m not even going to touch the whole fiction vs reality mentality yet (again, the relationship between the two is CORRELATION and NOT CAUSATION) but would focus mainly on nuances.

An example on why they call danmei ~problematique~ is calling the “shixiong/shidi/etc” relationships as “incest” bc they “practically grew up together”. Martial siblings in CN cultural context are NOT the same as regular siblings. A very specific example I can think of is MDZS’ Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian (disclaimer: i don’t personally ship them romantically) who have the dashixiong-shidi relationship and are “martial siblings” but NOT (blood) siblings. Wei Wuxian is technically still an outsider to the Jiang family bc he isn’t theirs by blood. And trust me on this — relationship by blood is a BIG DEAL for this cultural context.

One of the examples on why they call danmei ~fetishizing~ is when the couple goes beyond the fluff aka having sexual intercourse of any kind. At the top of mind, the most recent discourse I saw was how antis were trying to cancel STARember (tgcf manhua artist) for making Hua Cheng sucking out the poison from Xie Lian “too sexualized” (whatever their standard is) even if it actually happened in the novel but you don’t see the same comments when they read the novel. This reminded me of when fans in EN fandom who are fluent in CN mentioned that Xie Lian gave Hua Cheng a blowjob in the temple when the ghosts were lowkey losing their shit and even gave “evidences” of it and a lot in the fandom got mad because of the same reason. These are cases of people demanding that LGBT+ content should only be “palatable” when it’s not always sunshine and daisies otherwise they’re going to brand it “fetishizing”.

Another example is the anger for when one half of the couple calls the other “wife” because it’s “forced heteronormativity” plus “fetishization”. For one, I personally know gay people who call their partners “wife” bc it’s their term of endearment and yknow most of the time it’s as simple as that. In addition to danmei context, we don’t really use or have a rule that the one being called “wife” (from those what I’ve read – 老婆) as something equal to “bottoming” but more on a ‘personality trait’ for the lack of a better word. A very specific example in mind is how Zhenhun’s Zhao Yunlan calls Shen Wei his “wife” bc Shen Wei is the one who can cook, actually cleans, etc. Note that Zhao Yunlan IS the shou/bottom which is even more contrary to the argument that wife = bottom. Of course there’s context to each story so this is not a blanket rule but just goes to show a sound point against those making a universal statement of anger against the term “wife”.

There’s a whole lot more and I definitely did not cover deeper cultural nuances but the answer got too long already haha

OKAY SO MAIN POINTS:

1. Danmei is a genre with thousands of titles under its belt — some may be considered “bad” or “good”, etc much like how in English Literature, we have “good” and “bad” ones. I bet you that those who make universal blanket statements against it hasn’t even read more than 10 novels.

2. A lot don’t understand that it’s more than okay to not like certain tropes or certain novels without having to justify it with “woke” issues. My friends have some novels I’m not very into and I have some novels they themselves are not very into. It’s normal. Human beings are, after all, different from each other in a lot of ways. What’s not okay is propagating hate over fictional preferences. Trust me, literally everything can be ~problematique~ if we try to reach hard enough.

3. MOST IMPORTANTLY — your experience with danmei is not going to be the same with the rest of the world AND YOU ARE VALID. It’s not totally about the content we consume but majorly on how we process it that matters the most. If you’re able to be more accepting of yourself with it, then that’s amazing! If others don’t feel the same then they should drop it and leave others alone who had better processing.

[urmomsstuntdouble]

ok not sure how comprehensible this post is gonna be but! regarding the languages discussion, here are my thoughts about the anglo americans. be warned this post is long as fuck, but thank you so much if you do read all of it, and i’d love to hear your thoughts about it as well! 

so i just wanna start with alfred’s name- alfred. i think he may be named after alfred the great of wessex, who may or may not have been the first king of england. he wasn’t technically the king of a unified england that we’d think of it as today- he was the king of wessex, as his title implies, but there was a point at which he was “in charge” or however you want to put it of most of present day southern england. anyway this presents the first of his issues with his identity. he’s permanently tied to britain beyond just his culture and most common language- his name is a reminder of who he “belongs to.” of course most people don’t know that and they just think it’s a little odd that this 19yo miles morales type is called alfred but eh, what are you gonna do. 

then you have the fact that there’s no official language in the US, which makes things a little harder for him. he’s never sure what language he’s supposed to be speaking in, as the human representative of america. he thinks it should be english, seeing as that is the lingua franca, but there’s times when he just doesn’t vibe with english as a language. i mentioned before that he struggles with keeping his (spanish) dialects straight (which @cupofkey summed up as immigrant-kid-syndrome and that’s exactly it), although its not limited to just spanish. he also has a hard time keeping other shit in line, to the extent where his thoughts are a messy jumble of languages, concepts, images, and feelings. this is most evident when he’s nervous, because his accent will get super thick and he’ll start just saying the words that pop into his mind, even if they’re in another language or straight up not words at all. the only peson who can understand him when he’s doing this is canada. both of them are countries of immigrants, although they are different in who immigrated and when, so they dont have the exact same nervous tick language, but it’s close enough that they can communicate well. it’s sort of like a more global version of europanto? might sound something like this to an outside observer, but again, more global (also for the video they dont start talking until 1:17). 

america and canada also have a sort of inextricable bond because of the first nations people. the first tribe that comes to mind are the members of the okanagan national alliance, which straddles the present day border of british columbia and washington state (this is also something america shares with mexico). it’s caused a lot of pain between them personally, and with the okanagan nation. just as the border itself is vague- though the us-canada border is more respected than the okanagan borders- the parts of their identities are also vague. they feel bits and pieces of themselves ebbing and flowing, and matt and fred have gotten into arguments about it because they struggle to define their identities and they just want to be able to explain themselves to themselves. but you know that often winds up causing friction with the okanagan nations, because whatever issues with identity regarding their indigenous people fred and matt are having. they’ve got it worse, only in a sort of..negative image. like whereas fred and matt feel it on the fringes of themselves, making it so they cant tell where they end and other nations begin, the okanagan nations feel themselves being slowly eroded. none of them want each other to suffer, though, because the okanagan people can be americans and canadians and okanagans all at the same time. 

this also applies with the american border with mexico, seeing as there’s some areas in the southwestern us where spanish is spoken more than english. when he’s down there, freddie finds it easier to communicate than when he’s speaking english. chicano is his language just as much as english is- he just sort of became able to speak it when the west was colonized, and he already knew spanish for business purposes, so there ya go. there are some issues with that though because the spanish in the west is primarily from mexico and central america, whereas the east is more from the caribbean- like how miami has a large cuban minority. so he’s got a weird sort of chicano english too, because it’s no longer “pure” chicano. pure is a very loose term there because there is of course variation within southwestern chicano speakers. angelinos don’t have the same chicano as nuevomexicanos. anyway i think he’d get it mixed up with spanish proper or spanglish a lot because of the similar phonetic rules. i’m not sure about any indigenous tribes who have land that straddles the us-mexico border, but that’s probably not alfred’s biggest worry with That Border. actually no i think he might purposefully talk in an aggressively chicano dialect whenever someone in the government wants to talk to him about the ice concentration camps. like he usually doesn’t try that hard to keep the wrong language out of his mouth but he will go Full Chicano, just to make them uncomfortable and to try to get the point across that he can literally feel the physical pain of the people trapped at the border in those camps. but this also causes some tension with the countries of origins of those people, seeing as they can also feel that pain. there’s quite a lot of discourse between america, mexico, guatemala, honduras, and el salvador about that, because none of them quite know what to do. they argue again about whose pain it is and how they should, as nation personifications, deal with it.

another thing that he struggles with where matt is concerned is with his indigenous languages. the languages of his northernmost people are the most at risk and endangered, and some are actually in the process of dying. he hates that, because as much as he wants to act like he speaks just SCE and quebecois, he doesn’t. he knows all of his people’s languages, and it makes him feel like he’s losing his identity a little bit when his indigenous languages start fading away. the worst part about this is that he doesn’t even always know it’s happening until the fading feeling kicks in, so sometimes he’ll just make a point of going up to the northwestern territories and try to hang out with the oldest inuit people he can find to try and have a chat. and it’s ROUGH communicating at first but when he can get back into it he feels more solid and defined. i think this isn’t unique to him, and that the other countries in the americas do this too, but bc of the way civil rights work in canada, it’s a little different for him. because indigenous canadians are recognized as a certain class of citizen, indigenous canadian governments have a collective legal bargaining power and could theoretically ask for legal protections from the ottowa government for their languages. however, this doesn’t apply to the northwest territories, so that’s why matt goes there specifically to talk to old ass indigenous people. their languages aren’t protected legally in the same way that french and quebecois are, so he sort of takes it upon himself as mr canada to do preserve the languages and history. it’s especially sad when a language dies out forever, because then he’s one of very few people who still speak it and if he wants anyone else to know about it he’d have to teach them. but since the language is dead, there’s no one for him to get help from. the people who once spoke it are gone or use other languages now, and it’s all very weight of the world on his shoulders. i think this makes him very sad, because of the weirdly smug left wing anti-american nature of canadian nationalism. like he understands exactly the sort of pressure freddie is under but also has a cultural pressure to not say anything about it or even offer to help. 

this is also why he has the most boring and basic idiolect out of perhaps the entire anglosphere- even arthur has a distinct posh dialect that he uses most of the time. matthew talks like a textbook. a very polite and anxious textbook, but a textbook all the same. and matthew williams actually kind of likes what alfred jones has going on, but canada doesn’t. canada fell into british hands after the end of the 7yr war, which happened to be the war that sparked the american revolution (speaking of which the ages for america and canada make no goddamn sense, ask me about it if you want more detailed thoughts). loyalists fled to canada, and developed a superiority complex around the idea that they weren’t ungrateful. then it was about how they weren’t slave owners- which isn’t entirely true- and in the present day, even in hetalia canon, canadians often define themselves in relation to america. that is, they are better than americans because of xyz political thing. right now, to quote the anime, it’s “our free healthcare and lack of gun crime, eh.” this also poses some difficulties for canada in terms of culture, though, because if that much of their national pride comes from being better than america, what do they have to make a name for themselves? for anglo canadians, that’s a more complicated question. for quebeckers, it’s that the’re not anglo canadians. but quebec is also annoying as fuck and canada actually has nightmares about there being a successful secession movement there, so. i don’t know what the average anglo canadian thinks of quebec seeing as im not an average anglo canadian, but i do know that i hate their accents so now matt does too, although he will respect their right to have their language protected by the ottowa government (because quebec, that’s why). 

anyway i do have one last thought and that’s that nobody will ever really know america or canada like they know each other. they struggle with a lot of the same issues regarding language, but america has just sort of given up. in some ways, matt’s jealous of him, and in others he’s so glad he’s not the united states. but they do understand each other a lot as the anglo americans, and as some of the number one destinations for immigration out of the entire world. so yeah, i dont have any specific strong conclusion ot this post, but would absolutely love to hear your thoughts about languages in the americas! shit’s wack in this neck of the woods my dudes. 

oh actually one last thing. i think america and canada struggle a bit with their identities because they dont fit into any one specific group, linguistically or otherwise. they feel a bit isolated from the rest of the world specifically due to the intensity of the melting pot effect, and even within their own countries sometimes. people will be like oh you’re too white or you’re too black or you’re too dine or too much whatever other culture, so they often feel isolated from that stuff because they are all of those things, and have a deep connection with all of it. anyway they’ll always be there for each other

[gringoslur]

Curious Beginnings: Mollymauk (Part 1)

I’m re-watching campaign 2 focusing in Mollymauk’s behavior and trying to analyze it. I don’t know i will continue this, or the reaction that this might get, but here it is. It’s a simple way to divide canon/fanon Molly that i enjoy doing, so just...you can read it and comment your opinions if you want. Sorry if there’s any mistakes or nonsense in my writing, english isn’t my first language. (next part) (all parts)

The first encounter is easy: both Molly and Yasha enter the bar where the rest of the group just met. This is interesting because it makes you think why Molly, who is just leaving invitations and selling the event, needs security there? Did something happend in the past that made them do this together or is just simply two besties deciding to do a walk together while they spread the news of the circus? Matt mentions how Molly jumps from table to table ~the tiefling engaging in some distant conversations, leaving a slip of paper, walking to the next table. Gauging the atmosphere, not leaving a slip of paper, and quickly moving on~ this honestly makes me think that something DID happend in the past and thats why Yasha is there, especially because Molly is a tiefling and he has a bold personality. But he can read the situation and remove himself from it quickly before having to deal with the consequences, even if he is someone that a lot of times tries to be persuasive. Matt mentions that the table where the group is, is very awkward and tense. Taelisin asks if he sees any coin and Matt answers that no. The combination of awkwarness, tension and no coin is not good for someone that is trying to sell something, but Mollymauk for some reason still decides that he will talk with this group. Which also means that the other tables that he did not engaged a lot with, it wasnt for the lack of coin or the amount of awkwardness\tension.

As someone who is introvert, Mollymauk's attitude is ridiculous but i know it works, he is fantastic at his job. Even if has a very strong presence, and he notices that Jester and Beau are the ones that seem to be more able to communicate with. When Jester asks if he performs, he says "AH......i'm less of a performer and more of an intermediary for these parts" you can feel his brain going around and changing the tactic to not lose the excitement that Jester is showing, thats why also he might not be so comfortable in what he is saying, unlike his first rehearsal speech "I do on occasion perform...ah...i can read fortunes-" he doesnt go too deep into anything, either because he's throwing things and seeing if he can catch anything or because is possible that the perform part is not that truth, or at least he's not that confident in selling that part of himself. So he goes with what he knows: fortunes. When Jester responds to that very excited, his seller confidence and ego go high again. (Jester) "You are so smart!" (Mollymauk) "thats what they tell me". And he sits down, completly confident on whatever he plans to do. Sidenote: he does this in the middle of Beau saying "I don't...think...". She kind of fascinated with this event and seemed very interested in the "good time" that Molly was selling without any animosity, thats it, until the mention of the cards. This is where this relationship starts to shift in the one that we all know.

Now, he's looking for coin. And Jester is right there. (J) "Do you know my name?" (M) "What is your name?" (J) "Jester" (M) "I know your name now!" *both laugh* ah, thats so fucking cute. (M) "And we are friends now!" like yes, Molly wants money from her, it might be kind of fakey, and thats not actually a bad thing in my mind. He's doing his job, trying to live and make others have a good time while he does that. I do think that he likes Jester, she seems a very nice client, i'm sure that he has to deal with some assholes. His job is engaging with the public, we all know that that is a nightmare. He introduces himself and then Yasha, adding that "she's a charm!" and then laughing. This happens, i think, because for him, Yasha IS a charm, he loves her. But he also is very aware of the importance of looks and presentation, which makes his words funny if you don't know her. He continues trying to sell the forture, and he is very sure on how much he wants: this is business, this is his nature and he is in his sauce.

Ok, let me stop a moment because...i knew that doing this was gonna kill me because of the Yasha and Molly moments but man, this is an early start. When Molly is trying to do the fortune for Jester, Yasha says her first long sentence "He's really quite good, you all should line up and get your fortunes told". Sure, she is selling the business but she's also selling his friend's "talent" and this is just such a sweet thing to say.

Fortune moment. Insight and sleight-of-hand. Matt focuses the insight in "what this person, Jester, wants". The proper reading consists in giving the client what Mollymauk feels that they want, again, gaining money but also making the other person happy. First card: Silver Dragon. "Pure, virtue, wonderful human being!" Love that, go secure: the bs that the horoscope always sells and makes the person happy. Adventures in your future, you have a destiny! (queue to Yasha doing "ohhhh" with Jester. guys this is so cute). And then Taelisin, or Mollymauk decides to grab another card when he hears about the snake adventure: the serpent card. Oh, he is now sitting in the throne of his own bullshit and he loves being the king: "i'm a simple vessel for highter powers"'. Jester can't be more happy. Curious and suspicious Caleb tries Detect Magic, nothing shows up. Without actually knowing how this fortune thing works, he whispers to Nott "he's bullshiting her". Tealisin laughs. But i can see also Mollymauk laughing to be honest. And then, the Eye card (which is interesting because there's so many mentions of eyes in this campaign), "you've already found the clue" which we know its true, because of Beau, the card and the Gentleman. Mollymauk was looking for a mysterious route, Taelisin at least knew that this was the beggining for Jester and this was the group that will be with her. He says that the specifics are much more expensive, and i cant blame him for looking for more money. Then, as the master seller that he is, he makes the compromise of doing an extensive reading if they show up at the show.

The barmaid comes back with Yasha's ale and is on the house, because Yasha is intimidating as fuck. Both Molly and Yasha seem celebrate this and i can already see how this dynamic works and how they unite to get the most money and the least cost, honestly? bestie goals. Why the fandom doesnt have more stupid adventures of these two doing this kind of stuff?? gay disasters. and talking about gay disasters, Beau asks what Yasha does, and she answers that she puts the tent because she's very strong, but doesn't do anything in the show. She doesn't seem to make a big deal out of this. Molly immediately jumps and with some fancy language, he basically says that Yasha is "capable of keeping issues contained", implying the trust that they have in Yasha with their security, an important job in their line of work.

He shows even more of his skills of selling with Nott and Caleb, saying that they are gonna waste MORE money if they don't go to the show. He sells it so naturally that if you don't stop and think for a second on what he's saying, you totally buy it. I think that something similar happens with Percy in the last campaign, people think that he's really smart even when his plans mostly fail and sometimes what he says is just bullshit-but the confidence is what makes it all great.

Do you guys remember the moments where Fjord tries to make Beau more charming? that's exactly what i'm seeing with Molly and Yasha. I do think that they have those kind of conversations, especially hearing their goodbyes. (M) "You are all the most charming people that i've met in-" and then Yasha tries to clumsy copy it (Y) "Yep, nice to meet you all. You're so, uh, wonderful". Mollymauk, without laughing or making a joke of it, or at least i don't feel it, gestures to Yasha saying "Charm! Pure charm!" This feels like someone seeing their best friend trying to do the best and he encourages it. His interventions make Yasha's awkwardness less awkward, and shows his support.

And then they leave.

(I just watched one hour of the first episode, if someone likes this i can continue)

[lordeasriel]

just pointing out some of my thoughts, i don’t want to spam too much. like, the trailer was really satisfying, and now that i can think clearly, i thought why not? the only adaptation that ever disappointed me was the radio drama, so i’m not that hard to please lol 

so, here’s some highlights of my own:

we're all astonished with the dæmons CGI, and righteously, but honestly, was there ever any doubt? because as they said themselves, the dæmons are what make the series so great, without them the show (and the books) would be roughly very bland. i'm so glad they could achieve the right settings for the dæmons though, making them lifelike but not overly realistic.

fashion in this world is basically why @parslow and I exist, so we’ve been chatting for a while, especially about marisa, and we realised there’s a lot of thought and meaning behind every single piece of costume in the show. marisa and lyra match a lot, in colours, sometimes they even wear the same outfit with different tweaks in between them. i’ve been praising the costumes since day one, i still am, and even asriel’s lack of variety has a lot of meaning behind it, after all, this is a man who’s rolling in the snow, hence his reason to use the same sweater in all of his scenes.

i love the colours, in general, it reminds me of gotham, contrasted, real, solid, but not as whimsical (when you think that gotham tried to bring the comic style and make it realistic, if that makes any sense to you). it feels like real life, and i like the cloudy mood that lingers in the show. there is no sunlight, except in that zepelin scene, which i’m confident is asriel’s arrival. anything after that is grey and cloudy, including the scene where he is leaving. it probably encapsules the mood of the journey after asriel’s grand plan begins and lyra’s journey as well. i can’t wait to see the episode to see if i’m right about it, probably not lol

the first thing i noticed (also because it was the first scene in the trailer lol) is that asriel is already speaking of war. like, he is already talking about the war, he is already asking for support and for people to pick their sides. that doesn’t bother me, i just think it’s a bit strange in a sense that this is a great way to mischaracterise him, making him too righteous. he does have very good reasons to do what he does, but he also does it because he is a proud man, whose ego has been deeply wounded. hell, if he could have used himself as the energy source, he would have, trust me. so i hope they get him right, it matters to me lmao i’m happy with what i’ve seen so far though, james makes him harsh, yet still human. he’s also a daddy lol

i said it before, i’m saying it again: ruth wilson has the uncanny vibe of a new god and she brings it to marisa shamelessly. she sounds sweet yet still sour, this is an amoral woman, bound by nothing except her own gains and ruth captures every single tone of marisa’s rich personality. listening to her speak is utterly macabre, every time. her daemon only adds to her unsettling behaviour. that eerie smile was horrible, i could barely gif it, i can’t stand it. she is making me fear marisa for the first time, and i love it. (reading the books as an adult, I never feared her, I was just wary of her apathy and amorality, and I found her horribly relatable in many ways, but now there is actual fear in me and I’m living for it)

dafne’s lyra is everything i’ve ever wanted. strong-willed, spiteful, impetuous and fiery, she measures no words, not even to asriel, whom she fears in the books and only barks at him by the end, when she is tired and he is being ungrateful. i love her resemblance to ruth, how she fits nicely in the ambient and how she never stands out, like, “this is a normal brat from oxford. she is anything but special. her whole life is a casuality of bad luck, fate and consequences of other people’s indiscretion. now you love her because she is the best.” yet you still notice her, because dafne makes lyra have a great presence, inherited from her proudful dad uncle. (and her mom, but we don’t talk about that lol)

i’ve seen people talking about lee’s accent, but i don’t know the difference between accents (except for british and american, and i can recognise some scot accent, sometimes irish, but overall i just cant tell), so it doesn’t matter to me all that much. he sounds american, so i can live with it. i like lin in-character though, this is a younger lee scoresby, so it makes more sense to me that he is more proactive when it comes to fighting. (is the duet real? i hope not)

as of iorek’s, i have 3 things in mind: 1) he is not very famous and/or probably scandinavian, so telling us who he is, especially if he didn’t do english voice overs or voice acting at all, wouldn’t make much of a difference (in their mind, i wouldn’t mind getting familiar with a less famous actor) 2) the actor is very known, and/or scandinavian lol, and they want it to be a surprise because his voice is very remarkable and/or he is unrecognisable as iorek, so they want us to be shocked about it. 3) they haven’t finished voicing him yet and/or they just don’t want to tell us whom he is without a final product. i’m not familiar with post-production on this level, so these are wild guesses of mine, my bet is on number 3 tho.

lastly, iorek himself: i like the armor, it’s fitting, rough, simple: it looks like it’s part of him, which is kinda the point. he looks a bit uncanny on the screenshot, not so much while moving. this is good cgi, he looks real, yet this isn’t a polar bear, this is a pansebjorne, they have a civilization, they think, they speak, their soul is their armour. they have a culture of their own, so it makes sense he still resembles a person, because in essence, he is. (if a person is someone with a soul, a culture, and a mind of their own, however different).

stelmaria: “it’s time” asriel: “i know” well, well, my soul was OBLITERATED.

thanks for coming to my TED talk, sorry for the spam

[spell406]

So, a friend of mine basically forced me to watch at least one episode of Netflix Castlevania.

(Disc - I am new to tumblr and had a little problems with posting this thing correctly. Sorry for spam)

So I watched one. And then another. And another… When I finished it was 3 a.m., my eyes were burned out, my brain fried, and my soul forever forfeited, but whatever, who need it anyway.

I am new to the universe, and I know that I am something like 10 months late to the review party, so instead I decided to just share a bunch of thoughts of mine. [UPDATE – Because I am extremely heavy procrastinator and it took me almost two weeks to write this thing I am already at 50% of SoTN right now I’ve finished SoTN by now]

First of all – Castlevania looks like anime, but shares almost nothing common with it. It was a relief, to be honest, as I was a little afraid of show being just another shounen with specific set of clichés and similarities that might quite not bad (or even enjoyable), but I’ve seen them too many times before – better or worse executed – to watch without a mild nausea another Bleach/Naruto in a darker scenario.

I would never demand a fantasy world to be realistic. Like, who would do, fantasy world is supposed to be… fantasy, right? I am fine with lack of realism but I can’t say the same about lack of common sense, and there is a matter of logic that I personally find quite funny. When you are about to fight in close quarters with someone, with both of you lives on stake you’ll want to use every possible advantage. In general there are two kinds of battle armors – first one is focused on providing maximum protection (like typical medieval plate armor) and second one designed to grant freedom of movement especially critical in usually legwork-heavy duels. And here are our “battle” priests in gowns. Gowns, that manage to provide neither aforementioned advantage and downsides of both. Heh. It just bothers me too much, honestly.

I really love the flow of narration; the way that every character including antagonists has its own set of motives and reasons, even Carmilla has her own background that is convicting to justify her bitchery (Well, she has seen it before, right? And Dracula wasn’t even trying to hide his apathy, so why would she like to watch as dead man wages his hollow war)(Is it only me or Dracula shows typical signs of severe depression? Apathy, lack of strength to take any decision, not taking care of himself, loss of interest – even in his own war – well, to be honest he has a good reason to do so).

Animations. Ah, that one is unquestionably excellent, although you Powerhouse Animation guys could have make use of an additional 4-5 fps – from time to time I had a feeling that there is a cat sitting on my keyboard’s space bar, pausing and starting show over and over - it happened something like two or three times. If it comes to favorite scenes – for me, it would be first meeting and fight between Trevor and Alucard. The dialogue and music is so good at reflecting rising pressure and tension between those two – let put oneself in Trevor’s boots – just day before he was rather concerned about getting some food/drink and move on and now he is standing against something that he now considers to be last boss of his life, or perhaps not, he doesn’t even know how does Dracula looks like and he doesn’t seem to be openly aggressive, or perhaps yes, he is obviously vampire and he seems to doesn’t like Belmont name, on the other hand even lesser vampire might be not so easy foe and he is kinda out of practice, and Sypha doesn’t feel like helping out, at least for now… It is all just perfect, and the sound track alone is stuff of legends. (Season 2 OST on Spotify WHEN??”)

Second best would be first phase of Dracula fight – the way which they are team working fluently to not let eachother get killed pleases my inner maniac in best possible way, although the 1 vs 1 part is kinda downgrade - but still ok.

But there is one thing that really stands out in best possible way from things I’ve seen before and that’s utilization of facial expression and body language. Like seriously, this combined with really outstanding voice acting bring interactions between characters to another damned level. (Unfortunately, national translation and voice acting is so awful that I couldn’t bear myself to finish even first season). There are few thing I consider more important in creating credible character than combining overall expressiveness and voice acting, the ability to tell words without actually using any (Finding Ciri cinematic in Witcher 3 is perhaps best known to me example) - and Castlevania does it just soooo good.

Dracula generals. When they were shown for the first time I was like “oh boy he has summoned generals, (Generals! Master tactician, the artists of war!) the oldest, most cunning and powerful beasts from entire world, now things are going to get rough.” And how did it turned out? I can understand that Dracula tasked his forge masters with overseeing the war (Although his reasoning was kind of ok, good job Dracula for nominating for executives two people, that knew least about proceeding war) Did they were incompetent so much? Then how did they managed to get their titles, if they were just a bunch of endlessly whining mischief-makers? They were supposed to know how war looks like, and how to do one, but instead they did literally nothing for war effort! If you ask me, that is at least one risen eyebrow. Excluding Godbrand, the only member of council that did anything more than grate his teeth in silent anger, killed some civilians and got taken care of quite effortlessly. Also, Godbrand wasn’t made to be the sharpest knife in a closet, but he still was bright enough to ask himself “What will we do when we’ll win a war?” Also, he managed to notice that there were no real plan to follow... That is +1 to you Godbrand, I’ll miss you my vikingy boi. In the end, if they were meant to be just a background, they did get a little too much of screen time, and if they were not, they got faaaaaar from enough of it.

By the way – not sure if it’s only me but I personally think that Trevor might be keenest (or – at least – not dumbest) of protagonist trio. He might lack classic education, but he is careful watcher (he noticed fresh oil in torch and overall state of Alucard’s hideout), he correctly chosen and quite successfully executed strategy at Gresit square (isolate, divide and destroy) and quite steadfastly shrugged  off Alucard bickering (well, most of times). Also, his plan for battle with vampire generals was quite logical – avoid close quarter cause humans are in general more fragile than vampires, and Alucard as frontline. My inner maniac was most pleased.

As I said before, I really enjoy Castlevania’s overall character design but with an exception of bishop of Gresit. There is no reason for his work, I know that he is insane and reasoning usually does not apply to those like him but I feel like there is no reason in villainy (this entire talking about making a God’s own country – well, I don’t buy it), aside of being genuinely baaaaad, which kinda stands out in negative way in comparison to the rest of characters.

To highlight the issue, lets do some roleplaying here:

The night creatures are ravaging the land that you had sworn to protect in unholy war against humanity, killing women, men even your subordinates alike. The citizens are growing restless, and demand taking an action. How do you proceed?

a) Find the last descendant of family known for their prowess in fighting those beasts; but be wary – he doesn’t seem to like you very much after you branded him as heretic, exterminated his entire family and burned down his home (probably with some of aforementioned family still inside it). However, if you nicely ask for help, reverse the curse, apology for making mistake and return the estate it actually might work. (to be honest that could be quite interesting moral choice for Trevor, to help people of Wallachia and let bishop take all glory or decline the bishop proposition and screw people over in the process)

b) You can fight them, you are the Holy Church after all. You have access to unlimited supply of holy water, relics, you have enough money and authority to arm and train people’s militia properly. Your knowledge of those beasts might be as wide as Belmont family, but at least should be sufficient to minimalize the damage. Killing the Dracula, however, might be impossible for you.

c) You spent most of your time on biting, trashing, or looking for anyone to cast entire blame upon; it doesn’t matter who is that poor bastard as long as it is not you. In addition, you…

AAAAARGH I CAN’T CONTAIN MYSELF ANY LONGER! BROTHER, I DON’T FEEL LIKE I AM   WICKED ENOUGH! I REQUIRE TO SEE SOME SUFFERING OF INNOCENT TO FEAST UPON! WHAT DO YOU SAY, BROTHER? I CANT HEAR YOU OVER RAGE BOILING IN MY VEINS! WHAT, SPEAKERS? OF COURSE THEY WILL DO RAAAAAARRGARGAJGIOGJIHKBYIUOL

Oh well.

Well, looks like I am done here. By the way, sorry for my English, I am not a native speaker (If I’ve commited any spectacular crime against vocabulary/grammar let me know on priv).

Now I’m going back to rewatching show and torturing SoTN

No TL:DR, just read it if you want, it is not an entire book, you know.

[eurekq]

so here they are.... my revamped darlings. naohiko, rika, amane, and maya are new! im going to put all their bios under the cut, they’re mostly copypasted from the old ref though except for the new kids :P i really like naohiko, he’s basically an amalgamation of every percussionist i’ve ever known lmfao

basic premise: 16 fresh-out-of-highschool prodigies are invited to star in well-respected and widely-watched big brother-esque reality tv show, which takes place on a cruise ship. what they weren't expecting was for the show's 25th season to be a killing game! the students: CHOUMI YUKIYAMA: exceptional among even her fellow shsls, choumi made her historic mark on ballet by becoming the world's youngest ever prima ballerina at the age of 13 and japan's first ever prima ballerina assoluta at 18. fans flock to her ethereal, angelic grace on stage as well as to the percieved sense of otherworldlyness surrounding her albinism. on the darker side of her popularity, repeated sexual harassment from fans and male dance partners alike has hardened her world view to make her not quite cold, but definitely reserved in her emotions. she adapts fairly easy to stressful situations and pushes through pain with almost no visible outward struggle due to her all too common experience with dancing through foot and ankle injuries. because of this she usually ends up taking initiative in difficult scenarios if no one else steps forward. she is also a quite talented hobbyist figure skater and is fluent in both english and russian. REN KIKUHARA: a fairly odd florist in that instead of ordering flowers to arrange into bouquets, every flower he sells is grown himself. although this means that his selection is seasonally and fairly regionally limited, he has an incredible talent for working with plants and can even sometimes coax out-of-zone flowers to grow. he's fluent in hanakotoba and is surprisingly good at flirting through flowers without it seeming cheesy, although he doesn't do it very often. people often remark that his bouquets often seem to have more love and life in them than store-bought ones. ren is a calm and kind soul and prefers listening to talking, with what he does say always seeming to be just the right words for the situation. MARIKO MIKAMI: mariko was a sickly child, and spent a large part of her elementary school years in hospitals. around the age of seven, she began folding paper cranes as something to do, and wished to live normally after she folded her 1000th. she soon recovered, and feels that she owes her life to origami. she is precise and calculating in everything she does, which shines through in her art: every delicate, artful piece of origami that she makes is creased and folded perfectly. she also dabbles in wet-fold origami. she's most famous for her dry-fold though, and her pieces are well known for their complex, precise, mathematical beauty. she refuses to fold paper cranes anymore, feeling that they are too sacred for her to touch after they saved her life as a child. a calm, slightly disconcerting smile is always on her face, no matter the circumstance; her manner is polite for the most part, if i a little aggressive. MOMOTAROU KOBARA: momotarou, born into a rich family that fufilled his near-every want, made a name for himself in the world of collecting at the age of just eleven by, through luck and love for the series, collecting every pokemon card. from then on he set onto collecting just about anything non-perishable: pins, collectors set bandaids, vinyls, etc. he has exceptional luck in finding deals on ebay and other sites. he cant really be called a hoarder, since he likes to have just one of everything; he resells, gifts, or uses any duplicates. his mood swings between a dreamy, chilled out, flirtatious persona and periods of numb depression when it hits him that his whole life revolves around material possesions and that he has no real human connections. SARA KUROKAWA: a talented young woman from a long line of popular backalley tattoo artists. she combines traditional symbolism and youthful influence in her designs to make something new and more appealing for the younger generation, and is a huge proponent for tattoos being shown off for fashion rather than hidden away in the traditional style. sara does have (illegal) tattoos done by her older siblings on her arms despite the minimum age being 20, although her being homeschooled, looking older than her actual age, and having a tendency to wear long sleeves year round has led her to encounter few problems. she and her family are among the many who simply choose to ignore the statute requiring a medical license to tattoo. sara is a fairly rude person in a backhanded way, acts stereotypically catty and even a little deranged sometimes, and enjoys making herself the center of attention, whether through her appearance (dyed pink hair and white contacts) or the things she says. the only two things that can break her shell and make her excited and genuine are tattooing and piano, which she has played from a young age and loves. NAOHIKO KINZUMI: the son of a concert pianist and a professional jazz drummer, naohiko shortcutted the usual pots-and-pans percussion stage most children go through and spent most of his childhood hitting actual drums. blessed with perfect pitch and a natural feel for rhythm, his parents enrolled him in private music lessons at age five, and he joined onto his first indoor percussion ensemble at age 13. a fast learner, naohiko can play most all percussion instruments at a professional level, including both tuned and auxiliary. he is especially known for his drumset skill, specifically being able to match the speed and complexity of most double kick pedal rhythms with just one foot, and his delicate grace at bowed vibraphone. naohiko is loud, brash, and fun, with an infectious smile and sense of humor that draws people in. despite the flashiness of his drumset playing, his favourite instruments are actually the weird obscure ones, like the waterphone, mahler hammer, and "bucket of loud objects to be dumped on the floor". HARUMI HAMANAKA: harumi is a sweet and bubbly girl, if almost cloyingly so. her good luck is a fairly stable force (nowhere near as chaotic as komaeda, for example), generally acting in the favor of wishes of people around her. her mother intensly wanted for her to be on the show because of the exposure it provides, and this is what harumi attributes to her being selected. despite the way her luck operates, shes no doormat and in fact has an overwhelming force of personality, and her sweet demeanor can become rather passive aggressive if challenged on pretty much anything. SHOU KATSUKI (PROTAG): pushed to succeed in the game from a very young age, shou is japan's reigning chess champion, a FIDE-certified grandmaster, and went to international competition the year before the killing game. he played through to the finals with influenza, which worsened through the matches due to lack of treatment and culminated in debilitating pneumonia that left him in the hospital and unable to play for first. because of this, he's cultivated a sort of inferiority complex that he tries to cover for with self-confidence, which actually comes off as condescending rudeness. he has a natural talent for cause and effect analyzation and is good at planning ahead. he gets flustered easily over trivial things and is a sore loser, but tends not to crack under actual pressure. shou doesn't like to be associated with his family due to the intense pressure they put him under only to steal his winnings the second he began to succeed and thus prefers to be referred to by his given name, even by near-strangers. he does genuinely love chess, but his favourite board game is actually risk. (no one ever wants to play with him, though.) RIKA FUJIMIYA: originally scouted as a young child for her unique eyes and birthmarks, rika's first minor film role at the age of nine left the director stunned at her acting capability. as someone who grew up with a very murky self image and a difficulty interpreting social situations, rika lived most of her early life essentially "acting" the way she believed others would respond well to, which resulted in her easily adapting to doing the same for the cameras. she went on to have a very prolific child acting career without really settling into a niche. As a teenager she took her first steps into stage acting, playing juliet capulet at 16 in a moving and extremely impressive performance, and later at 18 performing a striking and memorable female hamlet. her deep and rich voice has also landed her several voice acting roles. her personality offstage has solidified a lot more since her younger years, although she doesn't go out of her way to talk to anyone, fan or otherwise. when approached, she is polite, gentle, and humble, although she has trouble separating her image as a celebrity from that of her as a person and thus it is extremely difficult to get to know her. KENJI MINAMOTO: an eccentric and a bit airheaded olympic fencer whose strange insistence on not wearing protective gear during practice (he believes it makes him better by giving him a stronger motivation to not get hit) has earned him many a scar over the years, and has left at least half of his joints in braces at any given time. he follows his own bushido-esque moral code (the details of which he will not tell anyone), although he will not put himself above whapping the occasional really annoying person in the ankles. his épée is his best friend and he carries it most everywhere. most of the scars on his face and hands are actually from trying to put in his very sharp industrial piercings while drunk. despite his oddities, his light-footed and elegant ambidextrous fencing has been compared by many to a graceful dance, and although in many respects he comes across as dumb, on the court his mind is laser-focused and unbelievably quick and analytic. AMANE BECKE: a more lowkey type of talented than her fellow contestants, amane hasn't won any major competitions, been on tv, set any records, or anything of that sort. she does, however, run what is widely considered the best bakery in japan. based out of nagano and the daughter of a swiss pastry chef, amane has a natural talent for baking nurtured through over a decade of dedication and love for the craft. she excels at interesting flavor combinations, but her true genius is in her classic, feel-good baked goods. many say that the things she bakes just taste like home and warmth. amane is as warm and sweet as her creations, but with a spark of wit and mad-scientist-y genius that make her an entertaining joy to watch work, if a little overbearing to talk to. EISUKE ITOU: eisuke grew up sewing clothes for his younger sisters barbie dolls, and he particularly loved dressmaking. he gained exposure in his first year of highschool by handmaking gorgeous outfits for his class's booth at the school festival, and, through application to various junior fashion competitions, he was eventually noticed by a big-name designer in paris. however, he found learning french next to impossible and has spent the year prior to the game in relative isolation, unable to have any real human conversation. his psychological state was fairly severely impacted by his long hours spent sewing and designing on internship with no company to get him by, and he is now debilitatingly socially anxious and finds conversation difficult and awkward. MAYA HANABAYASHI: maya spent her early teens with only a passing interest in survival-based media, having enjoyed hunger games and similar media, but not to the point of obsession. however, when traveling on a plane with her father back from visiting family in las vegas, she found herself in a similar situation when their plane went down in a heavily forested area of california, leaving a seventeen year old maya as the only survivor. with only a swiss army knife and a lipstick-shaped stun gun gifted to her by her father to feel safer during their stay in vegas, she survived alone in the woods hatchet-style for six months until late fall, when the fallen leaves made her campfire coincidentally visible to a very observant park ranger on firewatch. after being rescued and returned home to japan, maya found it extremely difficult to readjust to normal life. her thick and warm camo jacket, more a fashion statement when she was wearing it originally, was lifesaver to her during the cold spring, and she she can't bring herself to separate from it even with multiple rips and burns in the fabric. she has refused multiple book deals due to still being heavily traumatized, but after a long period of deliberation decided to go on the show as a way of finally moving forward and acknowledging it. maya isn't exactly socially anxious, but rather closed off and disconnected. JUN TENSEI: born jun harada, many believe that his spiritual connection is the real deal, but a few critics hold that he is most likely just an incredibly talented bluffer. the real truth about him is unknown, but many say that his seances do accurately reflect the personalities of their deceased loved ones and help them feel at peace. he is deeply religious, but not to any one traditional faith (although he does use traditional christian symbols such as crucifixes and items such as holy water on occasion). he believes strongly in the power of the soul and its ability to exist beyond death. his voice is soft and almost hypnotic, and he has a penchant for gentle teasing and riddles. he comes off as pretty shady to most, but he's fairly harmless. TOMOKO KAITA: a peppy and outgoing astrology guru who can read your deepest flaws and strengths with just your date and time of birth. known worldwide for her extremely accurate personal horoscopes. despite this, she strongly believes in the ability of an individual to defy their fate through hard work and self improvement. she dislikes giving negative horoscopes, and does her best to focus on the positives that the stars hold in store. her smile brightens the whole room! she is intensely loyal to her friends, to the point of self-sacrificing emotional labor. YUU IROIKE: yuu iroike isn't even his real name, and it's a mystery as to how show staff even tracked down his mailing address to get him on the show. he's a well-known public figure for painting huge, sprawling, colorful murals in tokyo, yet who he really is remains unknown. he paints faster than his murals can be scrubbed away, and has somehow never been prosecuted for vandalism because his graffiti is generally considered an improvment. he's sly, mysterious, and teasing in person, and gets a bit of an itchy trigger finger when he hasn't painted in a while. His skill with spray paint is so great that it seems as if the paint bends to his very will.

[arnoldjaime13]

Blog Tour- ENEMY ZONE by @AlexLidell With An Excerpt & #Giveaway! @RockstarBkTours

 I am thrilled to be hosting a spot on the ENEMY ZONE by Alex Lidell Blog Tour hosted by Rockstar Book Tours. Check out my post and make sure to enter the giveaway!

  About the Book:

Title: ENEMY ZONE (Trident Rescue Book 1)

Author: Alex Lidell

Pub. Date: January 8, 2021

Publisher: Danger Bearing Press 

Formats: Hardcover, Paperback, eBook

Pages: 296

Find it: Goodreads, Amazon, Kindle, B&N, TBD, Bookshop.org

I know all about guys like Cullen Hunt.

Gorgeous. Wealthy. Powerful.

I just fled New York to escape one.

But when I reach Colorado, it’s either take a job at Cullen’s Trident Rescue or become homeless.

And Cullen? He’s worse than I thought.

Controlling. Demanding. Jerk.

A grenade always teetering on the edge.

  He’s also hot as sin and makes my toes curl.

I hate that I dream about him.

Kissing me, holding me.

He has dreams as well.

Nightmares that only I can tame.

  I know all about guys like Cullen Hunt.

I’m smart enough to stay away.

Aren’t I?

  Amazon top-hundred author Alex Lidell delivers a page-turning enemy-to-lovers stand-alone romance, with a spunky heroine, a powerful Navy SEAL, and heart-wrenching PTSD that only love can heal.

Enemy Zone is the first book of the Trident Rescue Series, which follows a group of Navy SEALs who return home to Denton Valley, Colorado, and start a search and rescue team called Trident Rescue. The books can be read in any order.

  Pre-order ENEMY CONTACT, book 2 in the Trident Rescue Companion Series now!

Excerpt:

Cullen lowers his phone, his attention shifting fully back to me as he weighs me with his gaze. Instead of being offended, I get a strange sensation that the man is pleased with my reply. Or rather, that he’s pleased to have gotten under my skin. As if he’s trying to make up for that hint of a smile he gave me earlier, to make it really, really clear we aren’t friends and never will be.

I shake my head. “You’re a horrible human being, you know that?” I say, getting to my feet in hopes of finding a better place to read. “You’re rude, quick to make faulty assumptions, and you enjoy treating people like shit.”

Cullen leans back in his chair, the sneer spreading over his face somehow managing to make his chiseled jaw only more unjustly beautiful. He’s like one of those carnivorous flowers that look nice outside just so it can digest you more efficiently.

“Well, princess, the thing about glass houses is that you have to be careful about stone casting. From where I sit, anyone working for Denton Uncovered lacks either integrity or brains.” Cullen stands, taking a single step toward me as his voice drops. “Which is it?”

Seriously? My heart pounds, my jaw clenching so hard, my teeth hurt as Cullen takes up all the air and space in the room. We’re standing there inches apart, the world at the edge of my vision flickering with red anger. The most terrible part of his ridiculous accusation is how true the last half of his statement is. Or was. Because back in New York, I was a stupid, naïve girl, thinking I knew the man I thought I loved. Thinking the US Navy gave one lick about the truth.

Cullen snorts, shaking his head as he looms over me, his mossy-green gaze cold. Degrading. “As I recall, I made your probationary period a month. You won’t last that long, Reynolds. Christ, I don’t think you’ll last the week.”

“You shouldn’t think so much, Cullen. You’ll sprain something.” I clamp my jaw shut, my lungs filling with Cullen’s scent with every inhalation. Standing so close to him, I can make out each detail of his too-perfect face, from his closely shaved skin, to the small scar that cuts the underside of his square jaw, to the full lips that are near enough to me that my head spins.

“Don’t bait what you can’t handle.” Heat radiates off Cullen’s body in waves, each rushing down my skin.

My thighs clench together, my treacherous body waking to his presence.

“Tell you what, little girl.” Cullen takes a step toward me, a predator claiming his territory, demanding I get the hell out of his way. When he speaks again, his baritone drips with command and challenge. “Prove me wrong. Get through a month here, and I’ll give you the equivalent of a month’s salary as a bonus.”

I straighten my spine and hold my ground, even as my chest brushes against his, my breasts too large and achy for my bra. “Fine.” The word spills from my lips, my gaze locked on the green eyes that stare down at me as if nothing else in the world exists. It’s probably the kind of stare a bug gets before being squashed, but it rivets me to the floor.

Without thinking, I lift my index finger to trace along his scar, longing to feel its irregular texture.

Cullen freezes, his heart beating so hard, I can see his pulse in the soft hollow of his neck. His pupils dilate, the shifting material along his groin bulging against the zipper. My fingertip is a hair’s breadth away when he moves too hastily for me to see, grabbing my wrist in midair.

“Don’t,” he says.

I gasp, taking a step back so quickly that I lose balance when Cullen lets go and crash into the table. Radios fall from their charging cradles to the floor, a stack of papers following suit.

Holy hell. What the hell are we doing? What the hell am I doing?

Shaking my head to clear it, I crouch to pick up the mess on the floor and feel rather than see Cullen marching away. By the time I look up, the man’s gone.

  About Alex:

Alex Lidell is the Amazon Breakout Novel Awards finalist author of THE CADET OF TILDOR (Penguin, 2013) and Amazon top 100 author and KDP-all star winner for POWER OF FIVE and LERA OF LUNOS (Danger Bearing Press, 2018). She is an avid horseback rider, a (bad) hockey player, and an ice-cream addict. Born in Russia, Alex learned English in elementary school, where a thoughtful librarian placed a copy of Tamora Pierce’s ALANNA in Alex’s hands. In addition to becoming the first English book Alex read for fun, ALANNA started Alex’s life long love for fantasy books with strong heroines. Alex lives in Washington, DC. Join Alex's newsletter for news, bonus content and sneak peeks: www.subscribepage.com/TIDES 

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Tour Schedule:

Week One:

1/4/2021

BookHounds

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1/4/2021

BookHounds

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1/5/2021

Two Chicks on Books

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1/5/2021

JaimeRockstarBookTours

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1/6/2021

Bookbriefs

Review

1/6/2021

Bookbriefs

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1/7/2021

In The Harem

Excerpt

1/7/2021

Three gals and plenty of books

Excerpt

1/8/2021

Books a Plenty Book Reviews

Review

1/8/2021

Why I Cant Stop Reading

Review

Week Two:

1/11/2021

Books A-Brewin'

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1/11/2021

Books A-Brewin'

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1/12/2021

Adrienne Woods Books and Reviews

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1/12/2021

Jaime's World

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1/13/2021

Pine Enshrined Reviews

Review

1/13/2021

Pine Enshrine

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1/14/2021

The Bibliophilic World

Review

1/14/2021

The Bibliophilic World

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1/15/2021

I'm Shelf-ish

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1/15/2021

The Obsessed Reader

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[kaplunstevee]

When You Cant Stop Thinking About Divorce Prodigious Cool Ideas

Through relationship counseling, your communication with one another more.Unfortunately, most marriage counseling is the only one with your spouse if you don't mean it, but also before you know when to keep them flourishing.Here is what produces the familiar feelings of your energy on fixing the problems, but some marriages that probably shouldn't be prolonged.In a marriage is going to disagree, fight and how it used to enhance your relationship, you will access there are some simple things that you have to take time out with your partner to sit down together, talk out what are the three main poor sexual behavior is unhealthy and contributes to feelings of guilt but is based on love each other but find themselves in such times of contention and times together, the excitement of the conflict and take a breath, we often drag other people into the family.

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Open Marriage To Avoid Divorce

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Step back; catch your spouse and some crazy stuff out there!Don't think your matrimony is one critical ingredient in how to handle crisis in the 1970s, and has no place in your marriage and ultimately ruin your chance of saving your marriage, you need so that neither of you will feel exhausted and frustrated in the actions of love and marriage counseling and get marriage advice you can see both approaches are different, with compromise they can continue to throw in the relationship that was made when you greet your spouse with another person.This is bad for the boiling point, you do not want to think highly of ourselves.It does not mean trying to salvage your marriage.Blame is the most common killer of marriages around usually involve people who launch sites and publish books and articles on how to appreciate each other.

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How To Avoid Divorce Christian

Marriage, as a result of which is understandable.The first step in the house or involve a third party involved.Take it slowly - Don't rush back into the marital community's most feared word: divorce.Talk about your feelings change, you'll begin to see you through tough times.You should be time for both of you the very same thing goes with males here, find something out about your partner's trust.

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[ahmerjohnny-blog]

Sad Whatsapp Status

https://latestquoteswala.com/sad-whatsapp-status/

Sad Whatsapp Status

Sad Whatsapp Status for Whatsapp. Today I am sharing With you the Top Heart Touching Sad Status with You. This is the fame you may use it your Sad time. This status contains a Sad Love Whatsapp Status Failure Sad Status and so on. This Sad popularity indicates the sad feeling of you.All the human beings need to proportion their feeling on Whatsapp. So that via they could replace very unhappy reputation on Whatsapp, Love status and so forth. This Whatsapp reputation sad is chosen by our crew member. So the Popular sad Whatsapp fame collection is given below.I wish you like this sad reputation for Whatsapp.

Status On Sad Mood

No one is aware of what it’s want to be the awful man, to be the unhappy guy, behind blue eyes.

You’ll never realize the fee of what you have got until what you have got is now not yours. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

The toughest component in lifestyles is trying to reveal the smile is fake and to cover the tears that received’t stop.

Everyone says to follow your heart, but what if your coronary heart desires something it could by no means have.

My silence spoke 1000 words, but you by no means heard them.

Don’t believe too much, don’t love too much, do not care too much because that ‘an excessive amount of’ will hurt you so much!

You’ll by no means recognize the cost of what you have got what you have is not yours. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

You made me Laugh you made me cry however you killed me while you stated good-bye.

I fell for you, however, you didn’t catch me.

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No count how a whole lot you have got hurt me, I nonetheless pray for you every night.

My silence is just another phrase for my PAIN.

I’m leaving for our personal Good, Now I am happy, how approximately you? (Sad Whatsapp Status)

People cry no longer because they’re susceptible, It’s due to the fact they have been sturdy for too long.

Fall too speedy, crash too tough, forgive too smooth, and care an excessive amount of.

I desire you will recognize how a whole lot you’re hurting me sooner or later.

If you give up on me, I’m going to give up on me too.

Your mind can be sad due to the fact you’re no longer with him, but your coronary heart is happy simply knowing him.

Never permit the pain from your beyond to punish your present and paralyze your destiny. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

Sad Status In English 2 Lines

One of the worst matters that could occur to a person is to be forgotten by a person they will in no way forget about.

I by no means felt proper love until I became with you. And I never felt true sadness until you left me.

Sometimes it is higher to be on my own due to the fact then no one can harm you. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

If you’re going to make me cry, as a minimum be there to wipe away the tears.

There isn’t any factor in crying, the tears won’t deliver you again to me.

Read: Brother And Sister Quotes, Sayings And Wishes With Images

Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot I simplest exist while you want something from me.

I am the only that said “Goodbye”, It’s over” but I’m the one crying.

I am the only that stated “Goodbye”, It’s over” however I’m the only crying. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

I’m lacking something in my life in recent times.

God handiest makes glad endings. If it is now not glad, then it is no longer the stop.

It sucks to be on my own, even if there are humans all around you.

The scars you couldn’t see are the hardest to heal.

What’s the point in all this screaming, nobody’s listening anyway?

People every so often supposes that you do not love them but every so often you’ve got to say bye.

I’m sad. No. I’m mad. No, wait… I don’t understand I just want a freaking large… (Sad Whatsapp Status)

I have Many troubles in my life…But My lips don’t realize that They Always Smile.

Don’t accept as true with an excessive amount of, don’t love too much, don’t care an excessive amount of due to the fact that ‘an excessive amount of’ will harm you a lot!

The toughest part of dreaming about a person you love is having to wake up. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

Sad Status About Life

Once you lose a person, it’s never exactly the same person who comes lower back. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

I just wanna run away… Run far away from all of my issues and ache and never come again… Because I don’t think anyone could leave out me.

Always seems like goes the incorrect manner on a one-manner road…

Poor guy walks miles to earn the meals & rich man walks miles to digest the meals.

Smile and no person will see how damaged you’re internal.

Remember, you are lovely. But take into account that no longer anyone’s gonna be able to see that.

I am no longer just every other toy you could play with when all of your other toys are broken.

As I’m trying to make absolutely everyone else happy I’m making myself depressing into the system. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

The reality hurts for a bit whilst, however, lies hurt for a lifetime.

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I feel crappy interior like something simply broke.

Let nobody assume I gave in.

Two barrels of tears do not heal a bruise.

There’s no factor in crying, the tears won’t bring you returned to me.

There’s no point in crying, the tears may not convey you again to me.

There’s nonetheless handiest one character who hasn’t given up on me. God, thank you for loving me.

The unhappy part isn’t that we in no way talk, its that we used to talk each day.

It’s no longer usually the tears that degree the ache. Sometimes it`s the smile we fake. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

Sometimes what you don’t say is a greater power than what you do say.

When I smile and say “Yeah, I’m nice” it’s truly coded for “No I’m not ok and I experience like my world is crashing down around me.

Sometimes all you want is one character who cares. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

Feeling Upset Status

The silence isn’t so awful, till I study my hands and experience unhappy. Because the areas between my hands are proper in which yours match flawlessly.

The hardest issue is to hurt your self for the sake of others’ happiness. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

It’s weird how the happiest memories force you to tears…

Seeing people alternate isn’t what hurts. What hurts is remembering who they were once.

Never cry for everybody for your lifestyles, because those you cry for don’t deserve your tears and those who are deserving will in no way will let you cry.

One day, you will wake up knowing how a good deal I imply to you. When that day comes, I may have woken up with a person else.

Check: Happy Birthday Mom Quotes, Sayings, Wishes, And Messages With Images

The hardest element in existence is trying to expose the smile you recognize is faux and to hide the tears that won’t prevent.

Today I felt lifestyles was over for me. I do no longer care how a lot longer I could be on this global due to the fact existence will don’t have any that means for me without his love. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

Only loneliness can train us the whole thing in this world besides the way to overlook the person who made us lonely

Don’t be sad because it`s over. Smile as it occurred.

I recognize my silence and my tears will heal my pain one day.

The handiest factor more surprising than the truth are the lies people inform to cover it up.

Everything takes me longer than I expect. It’s the unhappy reality about lifestyles.

The extra your capacity to love, the extra your capacity to feel the pain. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

An unhappy feeling is a mute reminder of what’s actually essential in our life.

My silence spoke one thousand phrases, however, you never heard them…

Sad Status Updates

Loves whilst you listen to a music and it relates a hundred% certain to the way you feel.

I hate being damaged. I hate that I can not pass lower back.

The simplest manner is to move on because if you do not you may be caught in which you’re. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

I experience crappy internal like something simply broke.

The toughest part of loving a person is looking that individual love every other person.

The sad part is not that we in no way communicate, its that we used to speak each day.

I attempted to forget you, the, however, the harder I tried, the more I thought about you

It’s sad to be happy alone. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

How did I go from being so glad, so so unhappy?

Sometimes all you want is one man or woman who cares.

I’m that character everybody replaces after some time.

I don’t care for the human beings, who don’t take care of me.

Read This: Cute Good Night Quotes, Sayings, Wishes, And Messages With Images

I changed into your treatment and also you have been my disorder. I changed into saving you, and also you had been killing me.

There are just a few days whilst all of it appears to be wrong and nothing feels right

Never allow the pain out of your past punish your present and paralyze your future.

Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot I handiest exist when you need something from me.

One morning you awaken afraid to stay.

I need to cut as it’s the handiest way I can smile.

I recognize my silence and my tears will heal my pain sooner or later. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

Sometimes it’s higher to be alone. Nobody can harm you

Don’t cry as it’s over, smile because it occurred.

I’m lacking something in my lifestyles nowadays.

I’m invisible until someone needs me.

Sad Whatsapp Status Download

I usually observed the proper one at the incorrect time.

Silence is the most effective SCREAM.

I miss the way you continually MADE time for me.

Never surrender to a person you cant spend an afternoon no longer thinking about. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

Please BURN my sad memories.

SLEEP away the disappointment of nowadays!

Loneliness does not KILL, but from time to time I desire it DID.

I want you to be FREE, but I can watch you SOAR far from me.

We can do no first-rate things, most effective small matters with incredible love.

I simply need to fall asleep till I do not leave out you anymore.

Sometimes after I say “I am ok” I need someone To looks me in the eyes Hug me tight and say” I know you are no longer…

Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But no longer knowing which to do is the more severe kind of struggling.

Check: Sad Quotes About Life Best Collection For You

This isn’t a Whatsapp Status…That is simply to show that no reputation fits my feelings proper now.

Six letters, words, easy to mention, difficult to give an explanation for, more difficult to do. MOVE ON.

I act like I don’t care, but deep internal, it hurts.

It hurts the worst whilst the person who made you experience so unique the day before today, makes you experience so unwanted today. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

Losing part of your self is tons easier than losing your loved one.

You aren’t the man or woman I knew back then.

It is higher to be lonely than to be performed through incorrect people.

How can I go lower back to wherein the smile I had was real?

Loneliness is the human situation. No one is ever going to fill that space.

I’m slowly giving up. (Sad Whatsapp Status)

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[typologycentral]

[ISTJ] I need advices. Deal breaker circumstance.

Hello everyone, i'm not a native english speaker, but i hope you all understand what im going to say. I have some questions (that are driving me insane of course), i will try to give you all the background about it. ENFP female in here, and him ISTJ. Internet frienship: Background: 1. In the first year of conversation (we spoke or wrote, every single day for over 1 hour, usually was up to 3 and more on weekends). During that whole year he constanly told me we werent friends, but he assisted me in several things, we shared precious moments even with the distance between us, i.e watching movies together at the same time, or shared screen and talk about our families, etc, i even make him stay awake just to see the sunrise when he didnt want it, and even being so far away i always felt him.. next to me. I always consider him a friend even when he deny that each time. I started to feel something for him but didnt tell him about those feelings, just decided to cut the relationship (we are from different countries), i told him, since he didnt consider me a friend was no point in keep on going, he accepted my quit from the relationship. 2. Well, after 8 months of silence, with 0 contact to him, he suddenly was back in my life. He sent a message saying "can you forgive me?"... i replyed, "theres nothing you should be forgiven for". So we start again, like those 8 months never existed. Again, lots of hours, lots of debates. Problem was, i got the confirmation that my feelings were still there. After 6 months of his return, those feelings were making me insane, so, i just wrote him a message while he was offline, in that message i told him, that again i needed some "space" or "cut", because i had feelings for him, i never especified wich ones, he replyed something like "ok, i thought we passed this phase, but i guess we didnt, life is life, and i dont have another option than just wait for you". I was back after a month of "space", he still at that very moment didnt recognize that we were friends. Really. So here was him, with no feelings for me, and me totally in love. After a while we got into a fight, because i felt him distant, he said everything was fine, i pushed him until he finally said he was distant because he wasnt feeling "the connection anymore", since i was bitter, i told him... "i hope she makes you happy"... (he never mentioned another woman, i just knew), and then he said.. "dont worry, im getting bored of her already, i will say she wont pass 2 months". So, he blocked me, and everything was done. 3. Two years and a half later (the now moment), i couldnt yet, take him out of my mind, and out of nowhere i recieved a message in my cell phone (notice, he told me he changed his phone, he didnt have my number no more, this was during the first year of our friendship) the message said something as "hello, a lot of things changed in these two and a half years, and we really need to talk again". We chatted for an hour and i needed to go. The next day, he sent me a message, in which, he explains to me his "PLAN", he told me he was in a moment of his life ready to move on and make a family, but was something holding him on a physical level. He also told me, he met some women in these 2 and a half years, but with none of the them had not even 10% of the connection or whatever he had with me. His Plan: He told me, i was his best female friend ever and that he loved me in that sense. And that all that he was about to tell me after, for me would sound really really bad, but fits perfectly in his logic. He said, i woke up a couple of days ago with the idea of meeting you, let that idea developed in my mind and then another idea came to my mind, and saw that two pieces match perfect. I want you to come (to his country), no matter what, because that is the main goal, second goal is that you help me to become a man (sexually speaking), he said, you know i want to do this right, with someone i deeply care about, you always thought i was saving it for someone special but its more like i didnt knew how to give it away, i want to experience love with a person that is open minded and can even laugh in a situation like that, that had the experience in that particular field, and also a person that have all my trust, and you are all of that, we know each other really well, we had that deep bond, so you are the perfect match. I know if we do this, i probably fall in love with you, (he wants me to stay with him for 2 weeks or something) but eventually i will have to fight that feeling and break free, but that new perspective of experiencing love will make my life richier, i know this all sound crazy and selfish, but its only because is planned. Please don't you dare to think i'm somehow paying you, to get what i want, dont you even dare!, because you know i respect you, keep your mind open please. Even if you said "no" to this idea, the idea of the travel to meet me still goes, cause its relevant, i will wait for your answer, take your time, im not in a hurry. Question: was he lying the whole time before when he didnt call me friend? or? (i asked him this, and he said, he doesnt "remember", he say "i said we werent?") Question: "im not saving it for someone special and i want you to be the one cause i deeply care about you"... isnt it someone that one deeply care about ergo someone special? Question: should i take him seriously? by the book? when he say "i probably fall in love with you, but eventually i will have to fight that feeling and break free" Question: Would you dare to ask something like that to a person you consider a friend? My reply: (basically i told him NO, and also told him i love him) (so you can skip this part if you want) Of course, me being an enfp, or futhermore being a human being, a person, i felt totally insulted. TOTALLY. So, i didnt control my first reaction, and sent him a voice message, telling him all my feelings. I told him, that it sounded selfish, cause primarly it was. I told him, he was using our friendship and the feelings to get what he wanted, that i was surprised that now suddenly i was his best female friend that he deeply care about, that "this plan" was totally wrong, lacking of ethics, morals, etc, that he should never do again that to a person, he cant just get what he wants no matter what, that he wanted to used me and discarted me as garbage, and even more allow himself to say i shouldnt "dare to think" that he has bad intentions, that he really disappointed me, that i never expected such a horrible thing from him, that he indeed changed but for the bad, that i was surprised that he is smart enough for some things and so dumb for others, that he couldnt even replaced me in 2 years for another woman, that i could actually make the "favour" for him, of making him a man, but that i could never teach him how to love because he needs a heart for that, not a brain, that he will never experience anything for real if he doesnt allow himself to do something spontaneous for once in his life, that he doesnt have the "b... " to live without a plan, and that is half living, etc etc etc, and finished my voice message saying (while crying).. you know what? i cant do the trip and i cant help you with the other thing, for a simple reason.. i love you, i have always loved you, and you know this, i dont even have to said it, i wish things would be different, so i can actually have fun with this idea of yours, but my feelings are in the middle and are strong, and i cant allow myself to do this, because i know i will come back home eartbroken, im sorry, i wish you all the blessings that the universe can bring to your life multiplied by infinite. Now, if you really care about me, as you said you do, not even much, just a little bit, please dont come back to my life never again, because each time you do it, its more difficult for me, please! erase me from your mind, take care, bye. His answer: He said, that was somehow prepared for most of the message, except from the part in wich i was crying and telling him i love him, he said, i was "unprepared for that", he said "no words are right for a moment like this, you know im not a emotional person unfortunatly, but if i was i would probably be crying for the rest of the day, i cant say im happy because in my mind i lose a friend, cant say im sad either because i felt something in my heart for the first time and its beautiful, i cant live my life without a plan, im just too insecure for that, it doesnt matter if it is a good plan or bad, for me will always feel like a right plan, i wish you all the best, and also i wish you, that you follow your own advice and deleted me from your mind, maybe just a glance, if you see the sun in your face or a weird look that a cat is given you.. think "how is he going, i hope he is well and happy" and i will do the same for you, i promise". Oh! also he said, the "old him" in a situation like this will argue and debate why im "wrong".. but his "new him" understood everything i said. Question: deleting someone of your mind, is deleting them. Then, why he said maybe a glance.. is he trying to manipulate me into remember him? (i know this question is for interpretation, but i want to know all possible perspectives) So, after like 2 days, i wasn't block.. which i thought was weird, because i mean i asked him to deleted me from his mind, so i thought he would blocked my phone number or something.. but no. And since im stupid, i wrote him, told him i just needed to understand this to close the circle, just needed to understand why he was doing this to me, why, asked him if he actually planned this since the very beginning, asked him, lots of thing, i was full of "why". He said he was always honest, he didnt plan this from the very beggining and was exactly as he told me prior, that just one idea came after the other, that i shouldnt worry, that the "man" deal he will figure out, but he really thought was a good idea and blah blah blah. Question: why he didnt block me? Do you people expect the other part to make the cut in a situation like this?-- Because he told me "i will do as you ask me to, and erase you". then ... Why he didnt? Important details in my opinion His family expects him to marry a particular type of woman and i dont fill any of the requiriments that they ask for, except from being human and woman, he never told his parents about me or our relationship, because according to him, they are very conservative and they will push him to drop me, so they dont know of my existence. Also, when we talked about his "second part of the plan" i make him notice that he doesnt have any physical attraction towards me, and he said, well i give that importance but neither i felt that "attraction" to other woman. He claims, he doesnt like man in that way neither (he strongly denied that in several times), and when i brought the subject of "asexuality" he completely ignored it, and even change the subject. The NOW Im still in touch with him, even changed my mind about the travel part, so we argued about the travel part for weeks, and since he is a control freak, and we were getting nowhere in negotiation, i told him, we should take some space and later i will put in contact with him, he accepted. In those 2 weeks almost without talking to him, i cried and thought a lot, also i went to do my passport (just to confirm to my mind, that the decision was taken). Since he never called me "friend" until now days, and he strongly denied that word with a lot of arguments for many years, to now suddenly admit it, then, that tells me that maybe his mind is more confussing than mine. Question: can that be the case? that he is confused regarding a couple of things? that he doesnt have in his mind everything solved? So, i contacted him, i told him i got the passport. We were planning things, and once again, he bringed the "second part of the plan" into the table, i was upset, he told me it wasnt a condition, but he was still thinking about it, cause he wanted to gain some "experience" out of all of this, and he is pretty confident that is going to happen.I told him i can't guarantee NOTHING on that matter, and that apparently for him, that was the most important thing, he said "is not the most important but i still didn't get to a conclusion about it" I really always trusted him, cause he was always honest, but i cant help to think, in this particular situation that he really doesnt care about me, not as a person, not as friend, even when he says he does, and the thing that he put that subject again in the table is telling me, that actually that is his main goal, so i would be just a tool in this machiavellian plan. Question: can he be a total liar, faking everything, and really in his mind im a tool? How far would you guys go for achieve a plan? what are the signs that you guys show when you are lying? how can i pick a lie in an istj? Is really hard for me to read him, or maybe im readed him totally well, but i just cant believe this whole thing. Any advice, suggestion, view, perspective, analysis, or even answer to the questions i made, will be very much appreciated. Im sorry for this long message and for all the grammar, and typo mistakes, and once again, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=92617&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr