#i cant even motivate myself to write which is that thing i want to do forever

[lemongogo]

why do i love the conflict more than anything else . the misery . the incompatibility that spreads like oil slick . wanting so desperately for resolution that never comes . hmmm

[francy-sketches]

I'm gonna have to work on my final project non stop for like a month straight bc I procrastinated on it too much fuck my stupid baka life

[skitskatdacat63]

I feel uninspired and lack motivation for art again so I thought of an ask game for me :)

Send me(or comment) a number from 1-34 and I will draw my corresponding oc

I mentally struggled over whether I should make this post, because ik ocs are niche and probably not many people care for it, but I realized I could have been using those hours to y'know. Actually draw something. So I might as well just post it

[pyriteplates]

Tbd?

[munch-mumbles]

kj post five hundred thousand lamenting the loss of my passion for drawing because its starting to feel like its never coming back

[f1rodrigo]

the mclaren boy mystery | part three

l. norris / o. piastri

summary: in which your boyfriend is a formula one driver for team mclaren and when you finally decide it's time to start hinting to the world, the internet is confused on exactly which driver is your boyfriend. pairing: social media au || lando norris / oscar piastri x reader fc: jazmyn makenna

a/n: honestly i have no clue how long it's been... but I KNOW it's been LONG. and i am incredibly sorry. but wow is it easy for things to just get away from me but i finally got the motivation and want to continue this so here we are! who knows how long it will last but let me not get ahead of myself with any promises. i hope you all are well and enjoy! MWAH <3

part one | part two

sweet relief series | valentine's day

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liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and 54,899 others

yourusername keepin it classy 🍸 @/alexandrasaintmleux

view all 1,922 comments

user1 not sure classy is the word i'd use...

⤷ user2 seek help<3

user3 WHEN TWO WAGS MEET UP TO MAXIMIZE THEIR JOINT WAG

⤷ user4 stfusshdf im crying

⤷ user5 the way we don't even know for sure if shes a wag

user6 shes so IT girl i cant

alexandrasaintmleux my girl

⤷ yourusername mwah mwah mwah

user7 oscar in the likes bro im gonna end it all

user8 with alex... charles in the likes... double date...walk with me here

⤷ user9 just cause charles liked doesn't mean he was with them 🤷🏻‍♀️

⤷ user10 fr like his gf is in the post 😭

landonorris text me back maybe

⤷ yourusername desperate much

⤷ user11 WHY DOES HE NEED TO TEXT HER WHEN THEY SHOULD BE TOGETHER??????

⤷ user12 bc she was there with oscar... piastri nation RISE 💆‍♀️

⤷ user13 my jaws on the floor i don't know what to believe anymore

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liked by mclaren and 1,282,094 others

yourusername yee... haw?

p.s. a shoutout to @/oscarpiastri for the chugging tips...

view all 3,138 comments

user1 omg ok. can everyone just stay calm.

user2 ARE WE READING THE CAPTION. I REPEAT ARE WE READING THE CAPTION

⤷ user1 great so that'd be a no.

oscarpiastri not sure they boded well seeing as about 5? seconds after that photo there was wine down your shirt... but you're? welcome?

⤷ yourusername …mind ur business piastri

⤷ oscarpiastri hey you dragged me into this mess first

user3 ynoscar nation its been amazing, i think we're nearing our well deserved victory

⤷ user4 LETS NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES

user5 such excellent wag material here guys i NEED to know if she's dating one of them

user7 fuck landoscar DATE ME! LOVE ME!

user8 ynlando nation it feels so over 😪

⤷ user9 WE CANNOT GIVE UP NOW

user10 user landonorris found dead in a ditch

user11 this is certifiably INSANE what do YOU MEAN chugging tips???!?!?!?

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liked by mclaren and 1,282,094 others

landonorris 100 stickers, 100 races, and a brand new trophy to add to the mix 🏆❤️

view all 3,138 comments

user1 the writing on the second pic he is so unserious

user2 ur honor i love him 🥲

yourusername special weekend. congrats.

⤷ user3 why am i getting friend vibes

⤷ user4 fr just grasping at straws now huh 😭😭

⤷ user5 no but the periods???? its giving my mom when shes mad at me

⤷ user6 "special weekend" WHAT DO U MEANNNNN

⤷ user7 maybe it has something to do with the 100th race and podium....... 😭

oscarpiastri good job 👏

⤷ user8 maybe landoscar are dating

⤷ user9 CORRECT!

⤷ user10 at least oscar can add an emoji

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liked by yourusername, mclaren and 102,761 others

oscarpiastri not our weekend... but the company makes it a bit better. 🇲🇽 here we come!

view all 403 comments

user1 you're joking. you're fucking joking.

user2 THE LAST SLIDE YN IS IN THE LAST SLIDE

⤷ user3 PLUS THE CAPTION??????? its giving soft launch im sorry this is basically confirmation

⤷ user4 but like its really not though

mclaren 🧡🧡🧡🧡

user5 nah am i the only one thinking they're just fucking with us at this point 😭

user6 are we forgetting that there are also two other girls in that picture

⤷ user7 well... yes BUT they've been known to be friends of oscars so its like...

⤷ user8 so its like he posted a photo of his friends! yup!

⤷ user9 no fr like yn is also known to be friends with oscar? its all just internet speculation how is this confirmation

⤷ user10 well we've never got a grid post from lando of yn sooooo

⤷ user11 valid point

user12 on to the next!! keep pushing, we love you<3

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landonorris added to their story

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yourusername added to their story

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liked by yourusername, mclaren and 282,654 others

lando.jpg team mclaren

view all 471 comments

user1 this is adorable

user2 NEW JPG POST AKA MY REASON TO LIVE JUST DROPPED

user3 CAPTION LAST SLIDE OH MY GOD IS THAT YN

⤷ user4 I THINK SO SHE WAS WEARING THAT TOP IN COTA

user5 ynlando has never been so alive holy shit

user6 forget ynlando!! we've got oscar in a jpg post 🥹

yourusername 4life

⤷ user7 im in a puddle of tears

⤷ user8 this feels so much like confirmation guys!!!!!!

⤷ user9 idgaf if they're dating or not either way this relationship is so adorable wtf 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

user10 ynoscar truther clocking in! i pretend i do not see!

user11 i'm going to pass out

user12 he considers her part of team mclaren 🥲🥲🥲🥲

user13 i swear they see us freaking out and are like here’s more content to confuse the fuck out of you even more

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part one | part two

taglist:

i know it has been a while so just message me or reply to be removed or added <3333

@landoscar-f1 @urfavnoirette @imsiriuslyreal @geniusalpaca @wadupppp

@tinyhrry @clemmisser @itsprashimusic @leclercdream @eugene-emt-roe

@lozzamez3 @sbrn0905 @ririyulife @not-nyasa @bloodyymaryyy

@ihatetakumi @orangetreekid @ares10156 @susieees-blog

@loloekie @sarx164 @evie-119

@saachiep81 @vicurious28 @awritingtree @callsignwidow

[finnbbl]

Hyunjin X M! Reader - Dancer AU | SMAU | Chapter 4

Ch. 4 - Meeting Stray Kids | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter |

| Story Masterlist |

Written: Yes

Smau: Yes

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: I decided to go with Hyunjin for this story. Something about his personality draws me in and motivates me to write. I hope you guys will stick with me throughout it 🥹 (Feeling really inspired, so maybe a triple update today)

Warnings: Not much I don’t think, swearing maybe?

A couple weeks later..

Reading over that paper that previous week, you noticed it had said you would be leaving with Stray Kids within a few weeks. You weren’t sure if your eyes were working correctly. So you re-read it for what felt like a thousand times before you finally came to the conclusion that, yes, you would be leaving with them in only three weeks. Those few weeks were spent with nonstop rehearsal, which you didn’t mind. Dance was such a relaxing hobby for you. However, those few weeks left no time to actually practice with the idols yet. It was assumed you’d be doing that the few days before the first concert.

It wasn’t long before the 3 weeks was up. On the paper was also a list of stuff you should expect to bring with you. God did it seem like a lot, but you managed to fit everything into two suitcases. So there you were, luggage in hand at your front door as you waited for your friends who had agreed to take you. At 4 in the morning. They wanted to bid their final goodbyes before you took off for god knows how long. Soon enough, their car pulled up, one of the doors swinging open almost immediately. Next thing you knew, you were on the ground. “Y/NNN I CANT BELIEVE YOURE LEAVING!!!”

“Ohmygod Lia!” Laughs from the other four girls came from the car as they all watched from inside. “Now you know how I felt!” You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “Yeah yeah,” Lia eventually got up off of you and held a hand out for you, which you gladly accepted. Not sure if you could see or think straight as your head had just collided with the wall pretty hard moments earlier.

“Guys we better get going if y/n is gonna get to the airport on time!” You and Lia heard Ryujin shout from the driver side window. With that, you two were in the car. “Sooo how do you feel y/n, going on tour with such a big group?” You shrug. “What do you think the answer to that is?” Your head cocked to the side as your eyelids fell, deadpanning at Yuna. “Nervous, as always.” A scoff could be heard from you, although she wasn’t wrong. “I swear, if I had a dollar for everytime y/n got nervous over something, i’d be rich.” Yeji stated as she turned her head around to face you guys in the back seat from the passenger side.

Your eyebrows furrowed. “You already are rich Yeji.” She rolled her eyes at you playfully before turning back around. “Well thanks to Lia I can’t even focus on being nervous now that my head is pounding.” You neared her face with yours briefly. “Not my fault, you started it.” Lia retorted, followed by a pout. Her bottom lip stuck out with her crossed arms, now avoiding eye contact with you.

“Oh just a heads up y/n, i believe you’re flying on the same plane as them.” Chaeryeong told you, this took you a back. “What? But i’ve never done that before, backup dancers have always gone on separate planes as the artists.”

“Yeah well, that’s our company for you.” Chae saw the way your head fell back at this information. “I better not embarrass myself.” Muttering, now with your head in your hands. It didn’t take much for you to get so anxious. You had your anxiety to thank for that. Always worried about messing something up, or embarrassing yourself. “And that’s why I told you now.”

A hand was placed on your shoulder from her, “Don’t worry, they’re really nice. Like we said. Just relax and take a deep breath.” Following her instructions, a few moments later you were able to push it aside. Not only that, but now you were at the airport. Spotting everyone at the designated spot to meet, you could already see the eight boys of the group. “Well, we’re here. Come on get out we want a hug before you go.” Smiling to them, you six stepped out of the car as they enveloped you into a giant group hug. “Tell us all about it. We wanna hear everything.” Ryu told you, as everyone else nodded in agreement.

The eight guys noticed that the members of their fellow group was onto feet away from them outside of their car. “Hey look, it’s ITZY. I wonder what they’re doing here?” Felix grabbed his friends’ attention. “Come on we should go, I wanna say hi to Yeji.” Hyunjin told Felix, who only agreed. Quickly, they were stopped by their leader. “We’re not supposed to leave without a body guard guys.” Bangchan had said as he put a hand on each of their shoulder. The other five, weren’t paying as much attention to anything going on. After all, everyone was tired as it was so early in the morning. Once the five girls had stepped back from what appeared to them as a group huddle, they noticed you standing in the middle of them. Hugging each one of them goodbye. “Wait who’s that?” Hyunjin questioned mainly to himself, but ended up grabbing a couple of the others attention. “Woah that’s y/n l/n. He’s such a sick dancer dude.” Suddenly butting into the conversation, was Minho. He could appreciate a fellow good dancer. After squinting, the other three could realize that it was in fact you.

“Ohh you’re right. Hard to see out here with how dark it is.” Lee Know could only tell by your signature cap you always wore. In fact, the whole group was familiar with you. You were always trending on social media, and you had danced with many great artists. A very well known dancer, but they wouldn’t have guessed you’d be traveling with them.

Just then, all five of the girls began smiling and pointing in their direction. Causing you to look over at them, you waved nervously as Lia started to drag you over to them. “Oh god Lia. Please do not embarrass me.” You haulted her to a brief stop. “Relax oh my god i’m not gonna do anything. Besides, embarrassing you would mean embarrassing me.” Her statement confused you, but maybe that was her plan as you were being dragged over again. Wasn’t long before you were standing in front of Stray Kids, a few other of the backup dancers stood to the side. “Hi guys, this is y/n.” Lia started to introduce you as you yanked your arm out of her grasp. “Lia, I don’t think they nor I came here for an introduction.” You let out an heavy breath and rolled your eyes. This earned a smile from a few of the members, at least the ones who had noticed the six of you. “Well anyways we should get going and so should you guys. We just came here to drop him off.” Chaeryeong stated before they started slowly making their way to the car. “It was nice to see you guys again, bye!!” All the girls called out their goodbyes to both you and the boys.

Moments of silence passed as you all waited for the rest to show up. Then it wasn’t long before you all headed to check in. “So, y/n…” You had heard someone next to you say your name. Hesitantly turning your head towards them, you realized it was Bangchan. After first finding out who you’d be touring with, you decided to do a bit of research on them. Learn their names and such. “Oh, me?” It was hard to believe someone like him would be talking to you. He nodded and chuckled at your response. “So how do you know ITZY? Never seen you dance with them before so i was just curious.” His head tilted to the side, eyebrows furrowed. “Oh well uh, I went to high school with Lia.” A small smile fell on your face as you responded quietly. “Ahh gotcha. Well, we’re excited to work with you.” His elbow nudged you lightly, all you could do was smile like a dork. If it wasn’t thanks to your mask, you’d be an embarrassed mess. It was hard for you to take compliments, especially in person. A few more words was exchanged with their leader before you all made it to security.

The next few steps were done efficiently and quietly. Next thing you knew, you were on the plane. Examining the interior was like nothing you had seen before. You never expected the plane to be so fancy. Only having toured with a few other artists, who weren’t under very large companies. Considering how popular this group and company was, it made sense. You had learned from the girls how touring with artists worked, seats would be random but you’d only hoped you wouldn’t be seated next to one of the members. Not that they weren’t nice or anything, but you couldn’t handle sitting that close to someone so famous. They lived an entirely different life, one you’d never experience or understand.

But as your luck would have it, the tallest member of the group took the middle seat right next to you. Trying to avoid any unnecessary eye contact or interaction, mostly for your nerves’ sake, you found yourself staring outside the window. And it worked, for five minutes at least. “Heyyy y/n, it’s nice to meet you.” The member known as Hyunjin, had positioned himself to face you. With no other choice, you decided to turn his direction and face him. “Hey, it’s uh.. nice to meet you too.” Hyunjin tilted his head to the side, a gentle look resting on his eyes. Something about them relaxed you, and for some reason you weren’t anxious. Pulling off your mask, as it was starting to get pretty hot, you shot him a warm smile. Silence enveloped you two. As he was about to say something else, the pilot interrupted with the usual script they followed.

Taglist: @silverstarburst @virluna148

[translucio]

more veilguard thoughts! minor spoilers below cut

stuff im liking:

still having fun with combat

level design has been good, tons to explore, solid puzzles. beautiful environments. im liking how distinct and lived in the big cities are feeling.

i am liking lucanis more than i expected.....i know Everyone is simping over him but.. i might have to as well and romance him instead of bellara 🙈

im liking how bite sized the codex entries are. makes it easy to read them all on pickup whereas in inquisition sometimes it was like godddd i want the lore but i dont wanna read five pages right now

petting cats and dogs! i love the haptic purring, that's a really good way to do it (i would honestly love to see that polished even further with variations + meowing/whining/sniffing/licking sounds thru the controller but hey, it's a tiny part of the game and what they have is fine)

the resource economy is feeling pretty decent to me, im motivated to seek out collectables, i buy stuff from vendors often, i understand the upgrade system enough to inform my decisions. it feels very god of war or ghost of tsushima. so my only worry is that i might just get bored of it after many hours as i did in those games (which, i think the solution to that is for the level design to keep things interesting and satisfying enough that theyre rewarding even without the collectibles. so we'll see)

stuff im not really liking

overall plot so far feels Just Okay. but i felt that way about 2 and inquisition too lol

it is actually starting to really bum me out that you can't talk to people at will. like, the lack of dialogue choices in it, for a bioware game, is troubling to me. these settings and characters are interesting and filling me with many questions! i want to be able to dive deeper into them, but i just cant. you just get barks for all the world npcs. and the lack of choices really makes rook feel more like a prewritten/predestined character rather than one that's really yours to characterize. i realize it's a lot of writing and voice acting $$ to have that many dialogues, but that's one of the main selling points for bioware games for me... and it feels weird that other games are now doing it better than dragon age.

similarly the lack of continuity of choices from previous games makes me sad.

i still haven't gotten all that far, but i am several hours in at this point, and i gotta say i am kinda missing side quests a bit... related to the point about lacking world dialogue, but the world is feeling a little bit underwhelming in terms of the character and lore context/depth that i find myself wanting. which was a big problem for me in inquisition as well. like sure, there are collectables and hidden paths and puzzles to navigate through, and those are absolutely a huge improvement over inquisition's. but those don't give life and flavor and narrative depth to the environment the way that having meaningful interactions with npcs does. the barks are nice, but they leave me wanting significantly more in terms of interaction and depth.

im gonna keep comparing it to god of war (2018 - haven't played ragnarok yet) since that's really the closest thing its reminding me of. and while i loved god of war, i did feel like its world was very lonely. it made up for it with its extremely honed in narrative focus on the journey of the two established characters, and the quality of its writing and voice acting both for their dialogues and the few quests with other characters. it's not a game about the setting or how it shapes the characters that live there, it's about a grieving father and son who happen to be gods.

whereas dragon age IS about its world almost as much as it is about its characters. and with such a rich setting with three prior entries to build on, it seems kind of a shame to let players explore all these places we've heard about but not meaningfully interact with the characters there outside of Big Epic Story Moments or companion-focused quests, especially when you could in the previous games.

anyway.... much to think about... still enjoying it, still have more thoughts as i keep playing

[freak-accident419]

hello all

i decided that i will be retiring from being a josh fic author.

it’s mostly because i’ve been drained and very busy and stressed with my personal life. additionally, i’ve also been obsessed with other things (ahem x-men) that has been recently overpowering my josh obsession. i say that he’s just being gently put to the side.

it’s been a fun and wild ride. thank you all for supporting me and showing me so much love toward my work. it’s an honor to know that my unusual mind has a special place in your hearts.

i originally started writing to incorporate more gn!reader fics in the fandom, hoping to be a model for others and a safe place for genderqueer people, men, non-women readers, as the fanfic world is predominantly women. and as a non-binary person on the masculine side, i wanted to read things i can be applied to. thus i started to write gn so that everybody can read. i now feel fulfilled—slightly empty as well, however. i had a foolish hope that people would write more gn, but f!reader fics and commentary is inevitable in a women-dominated fandom space. therefore, i would grow jealous of not being able to share these experiences, feeling invisible, unappreciated, etc because of my non-binary identity. and that wasn’t healthy. which later weakened my motivation to write or create content for gn readers.

the main thing i learned from this ‘retirement’ was simply the sensitivity of my feelings of insecurity, isolation, and invisibility. which is a whole big unrelated thing, but i just want you to know—if you are queer, you are loved, you are seen, you will be loved, and you will be seen. you can and will be celebrated. you exist. we see you. even if it doesn’t feel like it, even if nobody is actually there for you to advocate for your existence, you are not alone.

i’m tired of having to advocate for myself and other people like me. having to bring up my identity so that people know that i exist, so that i will be advocated for. but i know that no matter what i do, it won’t happen. i’m not important enough for that and i realize that. my identity is a small population in this fandom space anyway. i cant ask of other people to acknowledge me and advocate for me. hopefully one day in the future i will find a space that will.

furthermore, i have also learned that i myself am not a machine—but a human. my purpose is not pleasing others and constantly doing work, but to live. i am allowed to indulge in self indulgent things and with being human, jealousy is also inevitable. but i digress.

i am so glad to have made so much friends through this platform. i formed so many beautiful relationships with the most amazing people and i am eternally grateful for it all. thank you to everyone who has stuck with me still.

i may still be on here just to lurk or ramble, but i don’t think i will be writing again. but i end up never making promises, so who knows?

my account’s birthday/one year anniversary is on November 11, when i created my tumblr account and posted for the very first time.

i love and appreciate everyone that has showed their love and support for me over these months. you guys will always be in a special place in my heart.

[ganondoodle]

Not gonna lie, the "It looks like a Divine Circle but is actually just hundreds of years of superstition & propaganda"-Concept is the coolest fucking thing I didn't know I needed until ten minutes ago. It's a super cool inversion of the classic trope, opens up a million possibilities for stories and arcs and on top of that, in game, you would obviously not know about it form the beginning but slowly have to collect clues and hints that things are not quite as everyone tells you.

So yeah, very cool concept!

Not directly related, but it's probably no surprise that my favorite Ganondorf line is the "I coveted that Wind"-line from the finale of Wind Waker. He doesn't even go into detail, cause he doesn't have to, this line alone instantly humanizes him. Like, its the end of the game, we are about to fight him, there is no way this will not end in a fight, and yet, at that point, that line, just goes so fucking hard. Because you instantly know what he's talking about, that he simply wanted a future for his people, which, you know, is a very human thing to do. It wont stop us from fighting him here and now, way too much has happened for that, but it reminds us, the audience, that he has motives and reasons and thoughts and is an actual character.

So yeah, in case it's not obvious yet, I too despise the extremely flat "I'm evil because evil, waaaaaaaaagh!" Ganondorf from TOTK. Why even include him if you cant be arsed to actually write him?

Anyways, last thing, I'll have to somewhat disagree on the Gameplay vs Story thing, at least partially because I work in the field and have had experiences with this problem myself. Not saying its impossible to have both, but its a lot more difficult than one would expect.

Towards your point, yes a good story can pull people through a game, but so can strong gameplay. Take the Doom games, I dont really care about their story, but the gameplay is great. On the other hand, the gameplay of the average Telltale game would be incredibly boring without the story behind it. There are hybrids, but even they tend to lean one way or the other: The Assassins Creed or Uncharted Series have solid and fun gameplay, but would probably get repetitive or boring if we didn't have strong characters and stories that keep us interested. And all of that is before you consider that there are different player types that gravitate to one or the other and it gets even more complicated. (There's more to this but I my thoughts on the topic could easily be a full bachelors Thesis, so I'll stop here.)

I should add that I dont think that the gameplay over story (or vice versa) argument can or should be used to defend games or design choices. Yes, Nintendo does prefer to focus on Gameplay over Story. Does that mean we shouldn't expect a good story, or are not allowed to criticize a bad one in their games? Hell no! (And if my previous ask sounded like I was doing that, I apologize, that was NOT what I meant to say! I'll happily critique all of TOTKs flaws, both in gameplay & story, otherwise how can we learn from it?)

This argument can be used to understand and analyze or interpret design decisions but it shouldn't ever be used to defend them. Just like the "just for kids" argument, by using such arguments, the person in question basically admits that they are aware of the weaknesses and faults in their story/game/whatever but didn't fix or improve them. So yeah, I do agree with you on that front 100%, hiding behind such arguments is a problem.

Anyway, sorry for leaving another wall of text in your inbox, hope you're having a nice day!

thank you! that 'cycle' concept is also what destiny (zelda comic) is based on, since it takes place before skyward sword you get to see the set up for it, and, in this story, the gods have been trying to achieve it countless times, throughout the story of it its supposed to slowly be revealed- like demise already knowing some parts since hes yet another 'failed' version of that plan (im reusing that concept for the totk rewrite as well bc i am very original wahoo)

oh you work in that field! thats cool!! yeah my opinion on this sort of thing is very much a thing i formed bc i play games, though i still dream of gamedev, i guess i understood your mention of it a little too much into the dismissive argument way (though not as an attack) and its been repeated so so many times i cant help but get a little >_> at it; the point i was trying to make was more like ... they need to find a balance with it, like you can make it all about gameplay, but then dont pretend you have the most epicest story that ever storied, maybe even do it less or more subtle, like the fromsoft game i feel like are very well balanced in that regard, bc their lore and story is very neat and intertwined, but you have to look and think to get it, and the gameplay is strong on its own so much so that it kinda ends up being both soemthing for people that dont care about lore and those that do, more than about the gameplay

zelda feels like it doesnt quite know what to do (even moreso modern zelda), bc they prioritize the gameplay but then still put in a story that they want understood .. so its like, babiefied? like there is a "simple" story and its few points are repeated into your face over and over and over so the people that dont care to read into soemthing GET IT but also annoy them, bc they dont care anyway, and the people who care about lore/story above gameplay are bored bc the narrative isnt engaging enough and they dont care as much about the gameplay

especially so with totk i think, its so weird, botw wasnt like that imo, it wasnt overly complicated either but at least it left you wondering, and let you think, the more you thought about the more interesting it was (at least to me) totk feels like the opposite, it doesnt want you to think, bc the more you think about it the more it falls apart and makes less sense

like theres types of games that focus HARD on one or the other (like slay the princess for example, its like an interactive audio book, there isnt much gameplay but it goes hard on narrative), so obviously the balance of gameplay and story isnt applicable to every game, but for zelda in particular they say they are one but then still want the other part just as much? like the lore in skyward sword isnt great, the characters are strong though, the gameplay isnt that engaging (to me, since that needs to be said) i got through it mostly just bc i wanted to see what comes next and liked the characters, in botw the freedom and world and gameplay were like nothign i ever experienced, exploring was addictive and the story took a bit of a backseat, but it was fitting for the game and lend itself so well to theorize, in totk they .. idk what the focus was, the .. glue? the toys to glue together? nothing fits together there and each part works against another instead of together, somehow, its so weird to me

the thing is, if you do gameplay over story, you need to roll with it? if thats what it is then let the story take a backseat, make it subtle and in the background or vague, dont stuff the game full of unskippable cutscenes where a character you dont care about explains you a thing you already figured out through the gameplay; like the zelda dragon point, let the design of the dragon and its music, what its carrying speak for itself, the way the deku tree is weirded out by the sword moving, maybe a quick subtle voice line once you get the sword fading away like the last parts of her soul being whispered away- but dont mention it in one of the first cutscenes, fail to bury it in 'thats illegal though and irreversible so nono dont you do it' (why mention it then huh) allude to it multiple times, and then just straight up show it (i get people like the scene but man, it would have been way cooler to figure it out yourself)

same goes for the fake zelda thing, the weird way she said the bloodmoon text already alluded to it, have her show up here and there but vanish before you (no "omg thats zelda omg what is she dooooing") , or go even harder and make her an NPC standing around the world interacting with you all nromally but animals react weirldy to her- make the midfight against her (maybe even that she isnt talking so you are unsure if its actually her but controlled by sth else, or talk all normally while literally going for your throat) and then have her dissolve into goop and woa the bloodmoon thing is without her now the zelda you have been talking to has been fake the whole time, its creepy!! leave out the stupid cutscenes of showing it multiple times!! stop monologing at me!!

ppl that dont care about it can go and do a fight and i can think about it! everyone wins yahoo!

(actually ... if you leave out all the cutscenes in totk i feel like it improves the game by alot ...)

(what my point in the previous thing was in the end that you can repeat the same old trope only so many times without changing anything before it gets boring as hell, like what you said here, and the series seems to really be setting itself on fire bc it just wants to do the trope of old so badly and at some point its gonna drag down even the best of gameplays like gameplay over story means (to me) gameplay is prioritized so whatever narrative there is is in the background, subtle and not overtly in your face with big cutscenes etc- but what i feel like its often supposed to mean is "its fine if theres a shitty story that makes no sense pasted on top bc they prioritize gameplay so stop complaining" like to me what it should mean is more gameplay, less story, a measure of quantity not of quality, but what i feel like it often means is better gameplay, bad story, a measure of quality, not quantity )

maybe my problem lies elsewhere and im just projecting it on gameplay > story, that could very much be the case, i could have a fundamental missunderstanding about this here, im still just a guy with opinions in the end and got no knowledge about anything other than i play games sometimes and these are the things i like and dislike and would do differently *puts my head in my hands*

idk if im making sense, im usually not very good at explaining how i feel or think :/ (or i THINK im bad at it, autism be damned)

(sorry this got so long again ......................)

[theshiftingwitch]

hii. im scared this is gonna be a bit long. im sorry but i would really appreciate some advice.

i know how to manifest, i know i have to affirm and persist, do not care about doubts etc. but i simply do not know what i want

i broke things off with my ex on october and after that i went on some dates and even got somewhat intimate with a guy i really liked, but this whole time i still had my ex in mind. me and this guy stopped talking 2 weeks ago out of nowhere, even tho i was affirming for him while seeing him, but i was like whatever i will just get him back, but i cant get myself to persist for him, i just get a rush of motivation and after sometime im thinking about my ex and throwing some "he misses me and hes begging me to take him back"

the reason im not manifesting my ex back is bc things between me and him got really complicated, he treated me so bad and made me cry so many times, he was always saying he wasnt good enough for me and that he would change and do anything for me, but things never changed, which is why i broke up with him in the first place, which ended up leaving me ever more hurt bc he started treating me like trash and saying some stuff to me. My mom and friends hate him, his friends hate me,, and i know now i created those situations but they still hurt me very much, i wanted to move on thats why i didnt manifest him back. also bc i feel like i have so many things to work through and so many limiting beliefs and solid beliefs on him and that it would be hard to get him to conform yk, i know this itself is a limiting belief but i have it

but im kinda second guessing myself rn, sometimes i get visions of him with other girls and i really do not want that, he is still my baby after all and i'll tell you im starting to tear up writing this lol.

do you think it is better for me to manifest the guy i was seeing and really liked? and try to forget my ex even tho everytime i think about him (which is often) i can feel my chest tighten,, or should i accept that it is actually him that i want and put in the work?

for manifesting him back i was thinking about doing it in steps and with the list method, so first get him to apologize (him regretting and telling me stuff i need to hear, begging for me) then after we get back in contact to start affirming for a healthy relationship .

last thing, i have no idea what he's been up to this past months, i told my friends not to tell me anything if they saw him or heard about him, the only times i saw him was when we last talked that he promised me he would take this time to change and come back to me but could not promise me loyalty during this time bc "anything could happen", the morning when i go to school bc to get to mine i have to pass near to where him and his friends are (however i always tell myself not to look) and 1 week ago at the club, i was dancing with my friend and i saw him staring at me seemingly sad(???), breaking his neck almost bc i was far and behind where he was (i didnt know he was there this just happened), after i started affirming that he misses me when i think about him (but this affirming was not anything i actually committed to).

so, sorry, anyways i want to make sure in this 2 months he did not talk or kissed or anything with any girl, but i do not know how to go about this, im scared that bringing attention to that "not happening" would just increase the chances of that happening, how should i write it down?? (i would put this in the list method, while affirming for an apology)

im so so so sorry this was so long, but i want to finally have some clear idea of what i want .. so sorry, thank u so much in advance.

It sounds to me like you want closure more than you want your ex back.

Just as a disclaimer, although I always tell people how to manifest their SPS, I hold a deep grudge against shitty people, and I never condone manifesting someone who has been shitty to you in the past. You have your free will of course, and you can do whatever you want, but to clear my conscious I have to say, manifesting someone out of thin air who is your exact type is better than going through the process of manifesting someone who has already shown you their true colors.

Now onto your question: if you can't tell which one you want, and you're switching back and forth between the two guys, sitting down with your thoughts and journaling would be a very good idea for you. Get clear with your thoughts on what you want, ask yourself probing questions, and let it all out onto your notebook and you'll find that you already know what you want, it's just that your mind is clouded with a lot of clutter that you simply don't need. Once you shut down the noise, you will get a clear answer.

There is a reason why you're not committing to affirming, and you're not using any methods to get your ex back, and it is simply because deep down you know that you deserve better. And it's true, you do deserve better. Whether that better is the guy you're currently seeing, or someone else completely, that is totally up to you.

Here's my suggestion: if you are looking for closure, you can simply affirm that he apologized for his behavior. Nothing has to happen after that apology, you don't have to have a heart-to-heart or a second chance or anything, with your family and friends hating him and his friends hating you, it's already taken a toll on your mental health. So I can tell you that you can just affirm that you have a happy healthy relationship with him and everything is working out but it seems to drain you, and I never condone using anything that would drain you or suck the joy out of your life. That is not how manifestation is supposed to be. Manifestation is supposed to be easy and fun.

But if you sit down with yourself and you clear your thoughts and you realize that you do want him back, I do not suggest the list method for you. In this case, you would do better with a script. Write down how you wanted this relationship to go, from the very beginning, not just the apology. Go back to how you two started and rewrite the whole story. Give him the attributes you want in your dream guy, write down that he is obsessed with you and he loves you and he cherishes you and you didn't have to break up with him in the first place, write down that the relationship is perfect and everyone involved likes you two together. Then when you finish that script simply affirm that everything in your script came true.

I hope that helps, and if my personal opinion is not something you wanted to hear, please feel free to disregard it completely.

Happy manifesting ❤️

[steelycunt]

hi ridi! I hope you've been having a fantastic time in Dublin and that the rest of the year treats you lovingly. <3

i want to tell u officially how much I adore your writing! the way you string bundles of words into something so so so precious, and the way they flow so seamlessly into something that just clicks right in my brain-- I am actually so jealous of your writing! they are just sooooo lovely to be read... <3 anyway I've been curious about your writing journey! i am assuming you are younger than me since you are doing your last year of your degree (gooooood luck for your dissertation! I'm doing my master degree diss atm so watching ur journey has been such a dear companion to me) but your brilliant writing is just so inspiring to me... if you have the time would you be able to share a few tips on writing? xx

ahh hi this is so lovely of you thank you!! youre too sweet and it always makes me beyond happy to hear people enjoy my writing : ^ )) as for tips i do feel a bit unqualified to give out advice on writing as someone who only does this for fun + hasnt received any teaching/criticisms from actual writers + also has no intention of writing creatively in any capacity beyond this but there are a few things i find help me to write stuff that i myself enjoy...firstly i can link an ask i answered a while ago about writing dialogue or at least how i approach writing dialogue and also an ask about my personal writing style and whats important to me when im writing and this one about editing/writing a second draft..and this one about general writing tips which i answered a few years ago...in general though now i think the most important things to my writing are as follows : ^ )

really generic but so real just reading is the biggest thing for developing writing to me second only maybe to the act of writing itself and even then id say its pretty close...other people and especially published authors will word things and use phrases and employ descriptions in ways i would never ever have thought of and reading other peoples writing can introduce you to ways and styles of using language which wouldnt have occured to you otherwise!! its wonderful!! and reading something you really love can just remind you of what you can do with writing and i find that really helpful even just as motivation : ^ )

this is a personal style choice i suppose but i hateeee white room syndrome i HATE to read something where the settings and physical details arent fleshed out...or conversely i loveee that element of writing so its a really important bit for me!! fleshing out the environment like what does the room look like can you hear the bin men on the street outside are there magnets on the fridge is there washing up in the sink what mug are they drinking from do they own a novelty t shirt from a holiday two years ago. there is so much fun but also so much character building and atmosphere creation and period setting 2 be had in little details like that!! idk i just love to read it so i think everyone should do it and its just so much FUN like yes design their old-fashioned galley kitchen and fill it full of clutter!! so much more immersive than a scene which ends up taking place in a blank white room in my head because the setting is underdescribed.

in terms of editing my method is really laborious and probably inefficient but i do it for creative writing + uni essays and i cant imagine doing it any other way now..when i finish a draft i open a blank doc and put them beside each other and rewrite the scene in the blank doc...a lot of sentences youll write out exactly as they are but i find it comes much easier to make changes and think of ways to restructure sentences when youre typing them out from scratch rather than staring at an already written passage trying to improve it. its painful but it works!!

avoid moral purification and tumblr discourse speak and therapy speak at all costs!! moral purification and tumblr discourse speak and therapy speak are the Writing killers i instantly have to stop reading things when every character talks like theyre completely up to date on the latest online discourse and unproblematic and have all been through years of therapy. ESPECIALLY in a piece meant to be set in like. the 1970s. its so boring when people cant let characters behave poorly without finding some way to absolve them of responsibility or have them be able to perfectly explain exactly which childhood traumas have driven certain responses or behaviours. they are going to have to be bad people who can have the right values but might express them in a way different to what the piccrew tumblr pfp on your dash is saying in 2024. it also just means they all sound the same the characters have no individual voices or outlooks its just really boring!! i dont know if its a product of people being scared of receiving flak for writing anything else but consider this me giving everyone writing this sort of stuff flak right now. booo. boring.

chronic overuser of similes and metaphors here but nearly everything is like something else even only in a vague wayand for me and what i enjoy the more unlikely the comparison the better. and for the stuff that isnt like something else well thats the crux of it also...links back 2 the point about details a bit but using all the senses and the physiology of the human body (it does soo many things and experiences so many sensations and feelings in so many different places in so many different situations there is so much to be mined!!) and literally anything at all especially in a big moment or when ur trying to describe big emotions some writers are talented enough to tackle them head on but i personally am often not and so i find it easiest to concentrate on the smallest details of big emotions...almost like a cheat but i like how it works!!

this is all really generic stuff and things i have probably said before but hopefully something here is of use and if i think of anything else ill add to it!! but i think just writing badly and reading good stuff does make you get better at it there arent any rules except perhaps not using phrases or metaphors which are commonly used...yah!! thats the gist of it i think!! : ^ )

[blackfairy312]

Songs of Disarray Cast so far (need to finish James' reference along with Harry and Mike (Mary's dad and brother)

askbox is closed right now because there are like 16 asks in there and i don't want to overwhelm myself so i'll slowly answer everything in my own time!!! mental health had been AWFUL. after my ex broke up with me i was stuck in a terrible bpd episode for weeks, and ultimately decided to cut myself out of his life for the sake of my own mental health. it's already a bad time of year for my PTSD (i had very intense flashbacks for a little while before i got my ned medication), and dawg don't even get me started on election day. america is fucking awful and i'm angry that people want to take away the rights of women and minorities. being a transgender mexican/black male in texas sucks ass. but i don't want to talk about it any more than i already have.

my motivation to do things has been very low, i think what the plan for Songs of Disarray is gonna be that i'll finish the character refs, maybe edit them, and work on the chapters last. i want the story to be GOOD and as a perfectionist i'm gonna be reworking stuff and constantly thinking of what exactly i want to do in this story (or how i want to write it). maybe in the far future i'll try to find a few artists to help me turn it i to a webcomic? i don't know cause i'm like mentally disabled and am having a VERY hard time getting a job, so if i were to hire an artist i don't know if i'd be able to pay them. i get like 40$ for weekly allowance and am not good at saving money.

anyway i also beat silent hill 3 for the first time (i played it once a long time ago and went back to play silent hill 2 to get all the endings, then my computer broke and i couldn't play either for a while). GREAT GAME!!!!! might replay it a few more times before moving into silent hill 4, which i am VERY excited to get to cause i am FASCINATED by the lore in that one. walter sullivan seems like an interesting character and i want to digest any and all lore about the order. after 4 i'll find a way to play 1, idk cause my laptop has 57gb of storage and i cant even download two games for my emulator 😭 i have to download one at a time and i have NO IDEA what is taking up 90% of my storage?????? its so annoying and i might have to get a new laptop if i want to continue playing emulated games but i like my current laptop, it works very well despite that (all the five nights at candy's games run perfectly on it, except fnac 1 remaster sometimes will have lag/framedrops if i'm clicking on the cams too fast, which happened a lot when i played null night but it didn't happen enough for the game to be unplayable. and i ended up beating null night anyway)

so uh yeah

[ttaibhse]

i need to start up running again i haven't been in ages and i feel shitty about it but i still just don't really want to. especially now it's getting colder lol i like running in cool weather but when it's actually cold not as much. i was getting so bored of it idrk why i guess because i was running out of new routes to do... i hate running along the road and the thought of adding more distance which basically would mean adding more time on the road or just mindless loops of the parks wasn't really motivating lol. and i felt like i stopped making progress. and then i got sick and the pain in my back/hips came back for a while. and to be honest i was/am just disappointed that i wasn't losing any weight at least not perceptibly and obviously i was lying when i said the goal of it wasn't to lose weight lol. like not the only goal i did/do also want to just be a fitter and more active person and not let my bones crumble into dust by middle age whatever but ultimately i want to lose weight and it just wasn't happening. even though i wasn't intentionally eating much more to make up for the extra activity but i probably was doing it without meaning to. like admittedly there were definitely times i would be like oh i can have a bit more i did a big run today. not all the time but enough i guess. i feel like shit i hate being this size & shape i miss being skinny and the more time passes with me not being skinny it gets harder to remember the negatives that came with it. like i look back now and i know i was always cold and exhausted and obsessed with food and my whole life revolved around it like i know all that but i looked so much better -_- my clothes looked nicer. if someone took a photo of me i only had to worry about hating my face not my body as well. or not as much at least lol i always hated it i guess. but omfg my face even looks worse now because its just doughy. i cant stand it. i cant believe how fucked up i look lol

i hate writing posts like this i sound so cookie cutter stereotypical ED girl. it's so so embarrassing i can't stop feeling like this at nearly 28. im 28 in like 10 days and the first time i remember consciously deciding to stop eating to lose weight i was 10 or 11. my mum still seems to have genuinely blocked out the memories of it like any of it even though we talked about it at several different points in time when i was a teenager and i said to her what was going on and she was so angry with me like furious with me. and then again when i was an adult and just said outright because i knew i had put on weight over lockdown and i knew she thought i had just lost control of myself because she said so to my sister

so i said to her like look i was only really thin in uni because i was in like a 1.5k calorie deficit every single day. there were days i would stand up at the end of a lecture and almost black out lol so i said all that maybe 3 or 4 years ago was the last time i brought it up icr but still if the topic of eating disorders or similar comes up she will say things like "i hope youve never felt that way" LMFAO like full sincerity i swear to fucking god i dont understand. but anyway its not a great feeling knowing she thinks im fat because i just dont take care of myself. even though it is true i suppose. and every time i see my granny she comments on my weight. so anyway all that to say that's how i know it's true and it's not just in my head

like i can acknowledge that back in the day when i was something like 55kg and still thought i was huge that was some kind of dysmorphia involved. but not any more and it's just kind of a blow because i had finally started accepting this idea that i wasn't as big as i thought and now i am it's like i don't know like going backwards. like a nightmare come true or something it's literally all the bad thoughts i would have about myself are true now. i am that fat or even worse because i think i've been deluding myself i think i'm actually now bigger than i think i am. and i am lazy and eat badly and it still feels like my options are total lack of control or the tightest rein possible. theres no good middle ground i dont know how people find a middle ground. how do you eat normally lol. ive only ever been thin when i was barely eating + walking miles and miles every day AND on testosterone. i tried to do eating normally and now im so huge and i dont know what to do like logically i know there are people out there who have got it right so why cant i get it right

[transflynnscifo]

Thoughts regarding the Scifos

i felt like gathering some ideas that ive had and discussed with people in the past, combining them with what we have available from the novel translations of dnk. it'll be under cut for if you havent read the novels yet and/or havent finished tov.

this goes without saying, but obviously since this is all found within side content and not in the game directly, this doesnt mean its 100% canon. its only canon to a person if they choose to believe it!

also. this is all speculative so do keep that in mind!

but i want to take note of how much flynn's parents' influence (in the brief time they've spent with flynn) could be felt on him. obviously, this wont be an ideal look at it, as writing and ideas about flynn's parents wasn't a thing in the game, and instead started with the first strike movie (unfortunately, some plot points contradict with things within the game. this is not the post to talk about that though). flynns past is explored further in the novels, which released around 2015/2016

firstly, it would be good to try gather whatever confirmed info there is on flynn's father. flynn's father in dnk doesnt even have a name attached to him! but i decided to stick with the name we get in first strike: finath scifo. for starters, let's stick with only the information from the novels.

it's heavily implied that the scifos all come from the citizen's/public quarter. finath's death was enough of a blow to norein and flynn that they needed to part with their former lives and move to the lower quarter. with how sickly norein is shown to be, it becomes apparent to me that finath was the sole breadwinner of the family. you could argue that he probably wasnt a very important position of a knight too, since becoming a captain is pretty hard. (flynn is the spiders georg of knight promotions) hence, finath probably wasnt even that rich (but still doing fine when compared to the lower quarter residents). if he didnt earn much to begin with, then it would make sense why norein had to resort to selling most of her and flynns possessions and move out.

as to how he must have been as a person... clearly, his own sense of justice affected norein enough for her to wish to follow the same principles, even if it meant her death. the question i want to pose though, how much of his sense of justice can we infer? was he actually against people stealing? how much of his worldview has influenced flynn in the novels?

with how flynn seems to act about the dark wings in the novels, its possible to say yes, finath was against stealing. but even then, i cant find myself saying this with complete certainty. this is because norein makes the choice to not drink the panacea, and it's already been years since finath's death. i feel her memory of finath and the choices she makes must have been motivated by her own mental state, too, besides finath's morals.

when it comes to flynn, finath actually started teaching his son swordsmanship before age 7. historically speaking, trainings for knights in noble families started from age 7, when the child is considered a page, whose job became to serve the senior knight, as well as learning swordsmanship. with flynn even having a book on techniques that he continues learning diligently from, its apparent that finath had ambitions for flynn to follow in his footsteps. i feel i could argue this could also be part of the reason why flynn is so adamant about not besmirching techniques for the knights, and why he chides yuri about it (both in the novels and in the game). by doing the same techniques, it's like flynn is able to honor his father's death, even if knighthood itself is a sore spot for him at the time.

i also want to note the words norein uses in her posthumous letter to flynn: [source from this chapter]

You may not be able to understand the choice he made, or the choice I made, right now. I’m sorry for not being able to stay by your side until you did. Even so, I still hope that you will understand one day.

(emphasis in bold by me)

once again, it all comes back to choices and living (or dying) by them, a central theme of vesperia!

the wording here is fascinating, as we never quite get an explanation as to how finath died in the novels.

but ultimately, it was still a choice he made that lead to his death. norein probably knows how finath must have perished. does flynn? with how dodgy he is on the topic, it could be argued for either way. in my opinion, with how the novels follows flynn's perspective sometimes, it doesnt seem that bit in particular turmoils flynn. it makes me think he is probably aware of how finath died, but simply hasnt been able to fully come to terms with it (much like how he later struggles understanding norein's choice to not drink the panacea)

i feel like such an honesty on how and why both his parents died is a double-edged sword for flynn. while he is able to know the truth, it also makes him close off with his thoughts at his lowest. granted, this isnt fully visible in game, but id argue its one of the possible reasons he spends so much time coming to terms with different things and ruminates about it even when in the party (such as yuri's killings). in fact, in-game, he takes alexei's betrayal pretty badly, still wishing he could understand why alexei made this choice even in the latter's boss fight, much to yuris surprise!

let's move on to norein for now. we know she is sickly, and it's clear that she hasnt been the same since moving to the lower quarter. flynn tends to her on many days, and she requires his help on many things even as he is young. she's made the hat for flynn in the past, but you never find her making anything similar again. if she had any particular interests and passions, finath's death took them with him.

it's when she is able to teach the lower quarter how to read that she briefly regains a spark of life, and a purpose to do something. and when she is hit with the (presumably aer-related) sickness, she sinks back to how she'd been. she refuses the panacea from jiri, because it meant going against finath's ideals, and chose to die.

it's easy to infer that she was an incredibly depressed woman. and when she was hit with such a deadly sickness, i think she was simply waiting to die from it. obviously, it's a painful and a pretty terrible choice to have, especially as she does ultimately leave her son all alone. on the other hand, she believes flynn wouldnt be alone in the community of the lower quarter. its hard to completely rationalize her choice, as it all seems motivated by her own mental state. such as the fact she may also display some form of self-deprecation? how low would one have to be doing to think their child will be ultimately alright after their death?

what does all of this say about flynn later on? you see this as soon as chapter one of the novel. he doesnt wish to be a trouble for, or have his negative feelings be known by his mother. he puts on a smile, and isnt entirely honest with her when the other boys pestered him. he goes for the river escapade for his mother's health's sake, and not for any other known reason.

even when she dies, flynn is never able to get out of that behavior. as is noted in the last chapter for part 2, it's like he had no desire for anything. this was said about him not spending money, but this line seems to ring true about flynn throughout the novel. this is obviously due to the grief he's been dealing with, but it's also indicative of something flynn struggles in the future too. he is never able to be a very selfish person. arguably, when he expresses selfishness, it actually ends up causing some things to go differently (such as when he insists going with the party to baction rather than lead his brigade up until the heracles scenes) (or how, arguably, his own insistence to learn knight techniques evolved into norein willingly teaching literacy to the lower quarter residents)

especially in his position as a knight, taking any time as distraction even to speak to yuri for a bit costs him valuable time. this is already an issue when you become a captain of the knights, but its even further amplified when its an issue flynns been dealing with since childhood.

but when it comes to it, it seems to me that there have been some vague attempts for flynn to stop concerning himself with knighthood, from noreins end. i dont mean it in a "she was against it", but in a "she didnt encourage him" way. for one, flynn didnt have his first sword back for quite some time, until chapter 3 of part 1 in the novels when he and yuri bought it back. so he wasnt able to train with a sword by looking at his manual. and yet, the manual was the single thing flynn had left of knighthood and of his father.

finally, i want to invoke the reason the first strike movie gives for finath's death, and how it may have affected norein and flynn.

(this is incredibly speculative)

the movie says finath "disobeyed orders". for a knight who seems to have had astrong g sense of justice that affected both norein and flynns sense of right and wrong, it makes one wonder:

a) was he truly uptight about morals, and made an exception that resulted in him dying?

b) or was he more lax with strictness, but thebreader is getting a warped sense of his views through norein in the novels? a more back or white reading of his views, as opposed to nuance?

when norein declined the panacea, was that her way of affirming finath's morals when he didnt at his death? was the memory his family has of him sculpted into an ideal, rather than remain that of a person they knew?

we dont even know his name in the novels.

when looking back to the game, flynn is textually treated as the shining light of the imperial knights, and the light to yuris dark. yuri also has, by act 3, put him on a pedestal, undermining the equal standing they otherwise are shown to have in game. because yuri thinks too little of himself as a person, and thinks flynn of more than simply the person he calls his best friend.

and ironically enough, flynn in his youth makes the choice of sticking to knighthood, and ultimately, sticking to his beliefs. in the future, its a path where he has to numb down most of his desires for the sake of following his principles. he unknowingly may have made the choice of sacrificing his selfishness.

for his beliefs, finath had made a choice that resulted in the separation from his family. for her beliefs, norein forgot all that she had to live for, and gave up.

is it for a similar reason that flynn doesnt protest his commandant position? (there are hints that the commandant position broke alexei, after all)

...here is a final thought to chew on in regards to finath. stage play spoiler. its in rot13 cypher:

va gur fgntr cynl, gurer vf n fprar jurer nyrkrv naq sylaa gnyx. va gung fprar, nyrkrv zragvbaf sylaaf sngure, juvpu gryyf gur nhqvrapr gung nyrkrv xarj svangu.

i wouldnt take the bit itself too seriously, as, again, its not something stated in the original source material, but it opens room for speculation, so i figured it can be shared

[bloomingdayswithyou]

Heyy, how are you? İ saw your requests was open so here i am 🧍can i request a hongjoong fluff or hurt comfort type of thing?? Im studying animation and game design in uni but i dont feel like i belong here. Finding motivation was always hard for me but its worse than ever in uni and my depression isnt helping either haHa- like for a while i stopped eating properly, not sleeping more than a few hours in a day and always do oil paintings, kinda locked myself home alone and cant find any strength to do something.

İf you cant write its alright tho!! Love you and your works <3

Guiding Light

Pairing: Hongjoong x gn!reader

Warnings: none, just angst with a good ending<3

Word count: 646

Author’s note: hi!! thanks for the request🤍 honestly I’m kind of going through something similar and just wanted to say that you’re not alone in this even though it might seem like it. Wishing you strength and healing on your journey as you pursue game design and animation or whatever you feel is right for you. 🌸

You sat alone in your small apartment, staring at your computer’s screen which displayed a few unfinished assignments. The room was dimly lit, mirroring the haze of emotions that consumed them. The weight of depression and anxiety had become almost too much to bear, leaving you feeling lost and disconnected. Hongjoong had noticed the subtle changes in your demeanor over the past few weeks. As he knocked softly on the door, his heart filled with concern for the person he cared deeply about.

"It's me," Hongjoong called out gently, hoping to offer some comfort in your darkest hour.

Slowly, you opened the door, your eyes reflecting a mix of sadness and relief at seeing Hongjoong's caring face. "Hey," Hongjoong said softly, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. "I brought something for you." He held out a cup of warm tea, knowing it could be a small source of comfort. You took the cup with a weak smile, grateful for Hongjoong's presence. You settled on the couch together, the soft glow of the lamp casting a warm light around you.

"You know," Hongjoong began gently, "everyone faces moments when they doubt themselves or feel overwhelmed. It's okay to have those feelings. You don't have to be strong all the time."

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you couldn't help but spill your emotions to Hongjoong. You shared your struggles with finding motivation, your fears of not belonging, and all of the other burdens that seemed to weigh you down. Hongjoong listened attentively, his heart aching for you. "You're not alone in this," he said, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I'm here, and I care about you so much."

He pulled you into a warm embrace, creating a safe space where you could let your emotions flow freely. Hongjoong's presence was a guiding light in the darkness, offering solace and understanding.

"Sometimes, we need to take a step back and breathe," Hongjoong continued. "And it's okay to ask for help when we need it. You don't have to carry this burden alone." You clung to him, finding comfort in his words and his unwavering support. You realized that you didn't have to face your struggles alone, that Hongjoong was there to walk beside them every step of the way.

With Hongjoong's encouragement, you began to open up about how you feel with animation and game design, the dreams that had once fueled your creativity. Hongjoong listened with genuine interest, reminding you of the talent and potential you possessed.

"You are meant to be here," Hongjoong said firmly. "Your art and your creativity are unique and special. Don't let anyone or anything make you doubt that."

As the night wore on, you felt a glimmer of hope reigniting within you. Hongjoong's words acted as a balm to your wounded soul, soothing the ache of self-doubt and depression. "I'm here for you," Hongjoong said, brushing away a tear from your cheek. "And we'll get through this together. Your art, your dreams, they matter. And so do you."

In the days that followed, Hongjoong stood by your side, offering unwavering support and encouragement. They started to find motivation in your passion once again, your creativity slowly returning like the first rays of dawn after a long night.

As time passed, your art flourished once more, fueled by the newfound strength and love you had found in Hongjoong's embrace. Through the darkest of storms and the brightest of days, you held onto each other, knowing that with Hongjoong by your side, you could weather any storm and find the courage to embrace your dreams once more.

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