#i cannot stress enough how bonkers this is to me as a 'bumped into an acquaintance on a dog walk' conversation topic
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I sometimes think people who aren't from parts of specifically the US with a very large wealth gap don't quite understand in a concrete way how absolutely fucked college admissions are here.
Please know that my mom and I just bumped into a family friend. And this lady straight up starts talking about how a lot of people pay people to write college essays for them. As if that's a common thing everybody does. And then she started talking about how she didn't know any asian kids that got into Ivy Leagues. What the hell was that interaction who wrote her dialouge options
#vio.txt#politics#literally what the fuck#1) why is this your chosen conversation topic#2) girl what???? what rich person cult are you a part of????#anyways her daughter goes to the same college as me except shes a business major so ig those essays werent much better#anyways i think we made each other very uncomfortable. like my sister in christ just say youre racist and move on the fuck#i cannot stress enough how bonkers this is to me as a 'bumped into an acquaintance on a dog walk' conversation topic#like?? you are admitting cheating your way into a school???
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AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?
Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.
In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.
The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.
But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.
I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.
One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.
Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.
I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.
I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.
Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!
What are these acronyms?
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Some TSOR pregnant times pleassee? Like lando and Carlos marvelling over the baby bump / realising it’s twins / feel the kick… mpreg Carlando and TSOR are two of my fav things ♥️
i cannot stress enough how much carlos takes care of lando while he's pregnant. literally, he wants to go anywhere? carlos carries him.
"i can walk-"
"yes, but why should you?"
"...i can get a palanquin, if you really don't want me to walk."
"oh, and i am not good enough for you?"
lando snorts and realizes that carlos needs to do this for him. besides, he enjoys being treated like- well, like royalty. it's a nice break from years of sleeping in marquees and bedrolls and intimidating Gallian holdouts into not being assholes. and of course carlos is in LOVE with the baby bump. he has his hand on lando's belly any chance he gets. where before he would idly stroke lando's thumb or his thigh, he strokes lando's belly. massages? carlos is ON it. stretch marks? carlos asks cisca for tips and gets lando the most expensive ointment he can find (to be clear: lando is sensitive about the stretch marks. carlos goes BONKERS for them). cravings? WHATEVER HE WANTS. does he need to send to duchy albon to get those specific milk buns that only the albons know how to make? yes. on the double.
when they slowly realize the babies are twins...oh my god. the first is when lando gets HUGE. and then when they get the doctor/midwife to look, and they feel multiple limbs in the abdomen...
"Well. Goddess. You are doubly favored."
"Doubly...?"
"Your Highness, you have two babes quickening in your womb."
Lando stares. Carlos nearly passes out. And then Lando stares at Carlos. And Carlos nearly passes out. And then Lando says, "Is this...okay?"
And Carlos falls on top of Lando and kisses him so senseless that the doctor and midwife see themselves out.
Later, they curl up together, and Carlos rubs Lando's belly. "Two babes," he marvels. "Two."
"Do you think they'll be best friends?"
"Ay, Divinidad, I hope so. Divinidad. Two."
"This really is a miracle," Lando murmurs.
"Mi vida," Carlos whispers, gathering Lando back into his arms to kiss him and do other things to him. "You have always been a miracle."
Alas, that is when one of the twins decides to kick, and Carlos is propelled backwards by the sheer momentum of his alarm. Still, that leads to another excited moment, even if it's in a markedly different sense.
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𝕄𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝟞 𝕒𝕤 𝔻𝕣𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤
⊱ ────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────── ⊰
(Hi everyone! I came up with these when me and my sister went out for a quick little drive after feeling sick of staying home 😘✌🏻 my driving skills got rusty. smh!)
(This is my first time writing so i’m sorry if they’re all over the place!)
⊱ ────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────── ⊰
☆ Asra
owns an old used car from the 90’s that makes you feel nostalgic
it kinda reeks of weed sometimes...
has random shit laying around the back including a blanket because he totally takes naps in the car between his classes
he’s a pretty slow driver (goes 23mph slower than the rest of traffic)
but as soon as he sees a yellow light he FLOORS IT
this lil shit never uses his blinkers...smh!
giggles when people cuss him out. he don’t give a fuck!
will always give you the aux cord because he vibes with whatever. any tunes you like, he likes too 🥰
often misses freeway exits because he’s too busy chatting with you (“wha..? oh haha...anyways!”)
he easily gets distracted with anything really, so you have to remind him to keep his eyes on the road all the time (it’s cute at first...but after a while it’s just annoying)
always offers to pick you up but never asks for gas money (pretends to forget but he just doesn’t care because it’s you and he care you <3)
overall he’s a cautious driver, he just has very erratic speed patterns and takes really shitty turns
★ Julian
has had the same old black car for about 8 years (hates that it’s a stick shift, but he got over it already)
he’s actually quite a responsible driver. doesn’t break transit rules
never got his license though, but it doesn’t really matter (u gotta do what u gotta do)
he never arrives on time, always late (super apologetic about it)
loses parking tickets and misplaces his keys all. the damn. time. so you usually end up carrying them instead
makes a HUGE fuss over your safety. please wear your seatbelt or else he will go bonkers
but at the same time will not hesitate to be your designated getaway driver (if you need to gtfo of somewhere, he will get you the fuck out of there)
he actually has to use glasses because his vision sucks and can’t read road signs. he looks so cute
his car doesn’t have an aux cord outlet, so he has a bunch of cassettes of different kinds of music ( 70’s rock, jazz, some obscure russian band, etc ) lying around. he can’t drive without music!
has a bit of road rage; if he’s with you he’ll mutter curses under his breath trying to keep composure
but when alone he will absolutely yell at people, but his way of doing it is somewhat.....endearing?
will occasionally bump into things, but has never caused any serious damage
has never been pulled over and only gets tickets due to expired parking meters in downtown (somehow manages to talk his way out of them all the time)
he’s had enough experience around the city so he talks to you about places no one really knows about
he will literally take you a random phone booth that is actually the entrance to a secret undergroung café that looks like a place where academics would hang out and conspire new literary movements
☆ Nadia
doesn’t drive, she has a chauffeur
but if she did, she would own one of those beautiful, modern, pearly off-white cars.
it’s perfectly clean, well kept and smells great
no food or drinks allowed inside. periodt
you’d probably be afraid of ruining the seat when you first get in. she assures you everything is okay
totally drives around wearing a pair of gloves, headscarf, and gorgeous sunglasses to protect herself from the sun. also because she’s so classy <3
she excels at everything in driving
flawless breaking and parking, but thinks that going around looking for a spot is a waste of time so she’d rather just pay extra for valet parking
her only flaw is that she gets super impatient with how long it takes for a red light to turn green
and she almost never stops for pedestrians
would usually call you to see if you’d like to go shopping with her or just accompany her for some errands (pls go with her she adores having you around 🥺)
doesn’t have a problem with giving you rides, but she’s always busy with a tight schedule, so rides from her are very rare
probably feels bad about it so she’ll send you an uber black instead
★ Muriel
hates going out because it means he has to drive ://
he just wants to get from point A to point B without any issues really
you’ll notice that his car always has a layer of dirt on it since he never really uses it (he doesn’t bother to give it a little wipe before hoping in)
would probably own a normal, practical car that gets the job done and doesn’t need much maintenance. nothing too fancy
.......but i really want to see him with a jeep so i’ll make him own a jeep ☺️
highkey anxious and hyperaware of his surrounding drivers
he looks too tense and grips the wheel hard....tell him to relax pls
if someone tries to pass him, he will absolutely give them a Look through the rear mirror
not one to listen to music (will sometimes turn on the radio but slams it off eventually because it’s annoying)
used to be terribly afraid of highways
mumbles and grumbles about how dangerous and stupid it is to carelessly swerve lanes just to go fast and look cool
☆ Portia
drives all the time so she’s definitely the most experienced on the road
owns a cute convertible beetle that she takes care of and loves very much ❤️ (has so many cute ass bumper stickers)
will not hesitate to change the tires on her own if needed
music is always loud and top is down most of the time
she’s got anything you might need in her glove box (hand cream? tissues? sanitizer? pocket knife? she has it yes ma’am)
when she’s by herself, laws simply do not exist
lowkey a threat to society. get her off
she goes so fucking fast like she zooms💨 down the road (mainly because she’s always on a hurry)
basically breaks whatever law she wants but once she spots a cop, citizen of the year
ohh but if you and/or anyone else is with her, it’s a whole different story
she drives carefully and slows down, would hate to put your safety at risk (same as julian)
road trips with her are THE BEST. going on drives with her always feel like a scene from a coming of age film 💕✨🧚♀️
★ Lucio
not necessarily an irresponsible driver, he’s just reckless and obnoxious
owns a restored, fancy vintage car that’s either red or white (his license plate is personalized, bedazzled and borderline opulent). genuinely proud of it
revs the engine just to piss people off
is always willing and able to be there for you if you need him
when he’s there to pick you up, he will absolutely make a scene for you to notice him. simply giving you a call is out of the equation!
the backseats are full of white hair...you know he brings his adored babies everywhere he goes
blasts music at an ASTRONOMICAL VOLUME and he just sits there like 🤪✌🏻🎶🕺🏼
but believe it or not, his music taste is actually really good....it slaps. so it’s okay
likes to drive fast (“oh you want to see some speed? i’ll show you some real speed”)
cannot stand traffic and slow drivers make him go batshit crazy
honks at everyone for everything but gets offended if they honk back >:(
you’ll still see him at the red light despite him doing 84 lane changes
tells you he LOVES the attention he gets because of the car, but then feels super self conscious if people stare too much or too long......although he will never admit it
this guy loves to gossip with you and likes to make fun of random pedestrians... you gotta admit he makes you snicker quite a bit. who am i kidding he’s funny as fuck of course you’re gonna laugh
doesn’t slow down for speed bumps, will blow quick kisses at the little fake cameras on top of the traffic lights, and has definitely scratched the lower sides of his car on curves more than once (*frantic wheel stirring* “not my fault not my fault!!”)
this man’s biggest struggle is parking. he cannot park for shit (secretly embarrassed about it)
it takes FOREVER for him to parallel park. might as well snooze while he’s at it
genuinely tries his best, going as far as to do the “arm behind the seat to look back” move (he wants to impress you dammit!!), but gets frustrated and gives up
so most of the time he ends up taking two spots despite trying so hard not to
gets tickets all the time (“now they’re ganging up against me! and for what?? what the fuck did i do!!”)
cannot comprehend street signs (“lucio you will get a $650 fine” “darling wdym?? it costs $650 to park here”)
going on a drive with him can be stressful and a bit crazy, but it’s always entertaining and you get the best stories to tell
#can u tell lucio is my fave? yeah me neither#the arcana#the arcana game#asra alnazar#nadia satrinava#julian devorak#count lucio#portia devorak#muriel#the arcana headcanons#the arcana imagines
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