#i cannot be around bc i am Really not doing well still. but. i truly care abt u all and i want everyone to be safe as possible blease

[dandyshucks]

guys i got another c.ovid shot this morning finally and im so fevery achey bc of it and i saw a picture of him and just started smiling so big,,,, smitten,, SMITTEN!! g.uzma..... i like him SOOOO much . embarrassing.

[orcelito]

ok i am actually so very angry and there's literally nothing i can do to fix it. life keeps going on. she might even be happy. and fuck dude, i'll make sure im happy too, i was a fully developed person before she was in my life and i'll continue to be one without her. but God Damn, the fact that she can just do something so blatantly awful and unfair to me and then run off without any actual repercussions is just so fucking rankling to me.

like perhaps she feels guilty. she said she did when it was all going down. but it was just something she "needed to do". so obviously she didn't feel guilty enough or she wouldnt have done it like that lmaoooo

i really did deserve to have a good solid yell at her. but unfortunately, by the time i did see her in person i just wanted her out of my fucking life. so. no yelling was done, unfortunately.

[viennakarma]

i was thinking of the ending where the reader moves on!! i was interested in what luna would think happened bc i thought she would see that lewis is still clearly in love with her mom but her mom obviously moved onto to fernando.

but i am biased to the ending where reader forgives lewis (bc lewis is my main man <3 hehe) so i really appreciate that perspective!! i do feel like even tho reader has forgiven and moved on by the time luna’s a teen, lewis would low key still carry that guilt. he seems emotionally driven for sure (to me) and he was dreading the day luna found out bc she eventually would, in the age of social media

i would love your thoughts on lewis’ perspective as well (either when it happened or when luna asks him about it) bc as someone who went thru something similar (we were never dating but it still hurt lmao) i still cannot wrap my head around the betrayal even tho it was years ago at this point. so seeing lewis still be in love w reader and truly regret his actions heals a part of me even tho this is fiction hahahahaha.

love your writing btw ❤️❤️❤️

ohhhh thank you so much! I also went through something similar (i guess that's why say something feels so raw to read and all over the place with emotions)

so you wanted to know how lewis would carry that guilt after losing the woman of his life? (evil laugh) it sparked me to write a bit, so here it goes: (keep in mind the post wreck my plans headcanons)

((also, written in the format you = reader))

Growing up, Luna had slowly become aware of her father's feelings for her mom. She knew the story, they had fallen out of love, divorced when you were pregnant with Luna. But as she became a pre-teen, and a teen, she started to really pay attention to the way Lewis looked at you. During her school games, Luna was a midfielder in football, she'd notice how Lewis' gaze would linger on you, the longing almost unbearable for a couple of seconds before he was able to scold his expression and look away. When Fernando arrived, wrangling Luna's younger siblings, Lewis would go back to his normal, polite self. When he'd drop Luna off at your house, Luna would notice the way Lewis stared from his car, looking at you and Fernando playing with the children in the backyard, using water balloons under the heat of the summer, how you'd embrace Luna and immediately let her join in the game. Luna started to grow aware of this, and by the age 15, she'd be completely sure that her dad still had feelings for you, and she would know that you had no feelings for him. Because the way Lewis looked at you was the way you looked at Fernando.

Luna decided to dig up, one night. She had a limited and monitored access to the internet ever since she was little, and with the years, she just wasn’t big on internet and social media, rather spending time with her siblings, her friends and family or her many hobbies. But with google, it didn’t take long for her to find a specific video. It was at a press conference, back when her dad was a racing driver, someone asked him what his thoughts were on his ex-wife, Luna’s mom, dating Fernando, a fellow racing driver.

Luna stared at her dad in the video, the dim in his eyes when he said his marriage had ended for unrelated reasons and that he was the only one to blame, since his loyalty as a husband had faltered and he was the one to fail the vows he had made to you. Luna closed her laptop with a slam. She wasn’t dumb. She was fifteen and loved English classes. She knew what he meant with loyalty faltering.

She got upset, she had never thought cheating was the reason for the divorce, not when you and Lewis had told her that they fell out of love. She grew moody for a couple of days, short tempered and rude, you and Fernando had thought it was only teenager moodiness, so you let Luna be. When she confronted you, two days later, she spilled the truth of what she had found out, Fernando, sensing the moment, took Vicenzo and Benny to his family’s place for the weekend, knowing you and Luna had a big conversation coming.

You explained to Luna what had happened, why you were the one to divorce Lewis. But you were kind, always reminding her that her dad had always been a good father, always taking care of Luna and how you and Lewis loved her no matter what. After that talk, Luna got calmer, but she asked you to not go to her father the following week as they had agreed on. Lewis was distraught when you called him to inform that Luna wasn’t going to his house that week and she didn’t wanna go camping as planned anymore. When you told him over the phone that Luna had found out… you could hear him crying.

After giving Luna a week to give her space, Lewis went to your house to find her. They decided to finally go on that camping trip under the condition that he’d answer all of Luna’s questions about what had happened.

She was silent for most of the trip. Once they arrived at the cabin, they sat in the backyard, Lewis lit up a bonfire and Luna and him sat around it, burning marshmallows in the fire.

“Do you regret it?” Luna asked, breaking the silence. Lewis exhaled for a second.

“Every waking moment,” His voice faltered.

“Why, then?” She muttered, looking straight into the fire.

“I don’t know. Back then I had been upset, having had a couple of bad seasons in Formula 1, feeling useless, feeling like I wasn’t able to do the one thing I knew how. I had a couple of drinks, and someone from my past showed up… And I made a mistake that cost me my happiness, my future and the love of my life. Looking back now, all of those were silly reasons for doing what I did. They weighed nothing compared to your mom and our marriage…” His voice was wet with tears and Luna didn’t have the heart to look at his face yet, “Your mom, she even tried to fix things for a few weeks after I confessed. But I could see… I could see the love she had for me dying more and more every single time. When we signed the divorce, she was already pregnant with you. We decided to become friends to co-parent for you.”

After some silence, Luna looked at Lewis, the tears in his face.

“Will you forgive me?”

“Of course,” She reached out, wiping his cheeks of tears. He closed his eyes, a weight leaving his shoulders at the acceptance and she hugged him. Lewis couldn’t help but see you in Luna, in her caring embrace and her forgiveness.

After a few quiet moments, Luna pulled back.

“How… How was life when you two were married? You know, before all this?” Luna asked, “Mom never talks about it.”

“Why do you wanna know, baby? It’ll only hurt you…”

“Because I have no idea how it was.”

So he told Luna about random things of those few years you were married. He told her how you’d draw and leave charcoal stains everywhere, and how upset he’d be, Luna would tell him you rarely ever use charcoal nowadays, but every few weeks Fernando buys you new colors of paint and asks you to paint him something. Luna told Lewis how all of Fernando’s offices are full of colorful paints you made him.

Everything Lewis told her, Luna would counter with how things were nowadays. And each time it hurt his heart a little. Fernando didn’t make you travel around the world anymore, Fernando helped you take care of the garden, supporting you most recent hobbies, Fernando who gifted you with a little rescue kitten, a scruffy little thing you had always wanted but didn’t get because the kids were too small back in the day.

Lewis started to see how he had failed you many times even when you were married, even before the cheating. How he had been unsupportive of your hobbies, of your career, of your wishes.

He knew he’d spend the rest of his life wishing he could come back to that one fateful night and never get in a hotel room with that woman. He’d know what to do now. He’d know how to go home straight to you, how to cherish you, how to support you.

But it was too late, and you had found someone who did all that without the need to make a mistake to value you for who you are.

note: damn, this really ran away from my hands too phew

[puppy-phum]

Pit Babe Characters x Cartomancy ➣ Part 4: Kenta & Kim

Jack of Diamonds: Focuses on fulfilling his duty. Hard to change; in both mind and heart. Seven of Clubs: Standing up for what is right. Going against the current and making a difference.

for @pitbabeanniversary week 4 prompts: kenta & kim

(more thoughts under the cut!)

disclaimer: i am not an expert in either cartomancy or tarot reading. i did a lot of research on these two sites to come up with these cards for the characters. some of the meanings associated with the cards are still only my own interpretation, so they might not be completely accurate.

i'm quite amused by the fact that kenta and kim ended up with cards that are opposites of each other: other one is bound to oneself while the other connects more to people around (or above) them. yet in their differences, they're also quite similar – two sides of the same coin, i might say.

kenta: jack of diamonds is an ironic choice for kenta, i have to admit that. in general, diamonds are connected – amongst other things – to wealth, possessions, and independence. ironically, kenta lacks all of these things. he isn't rich on anything, doesn't own anything. not even his own self belongs to him bc he gave up his mind and body a long time ago (and his heart? i think it died throughout his childhood as he became the weapon tony needed him to be. tho others might say it's only buried deep and is still beating despite, or in spite, of it all).

but the jack of diamonds as one of the diamond cards isn't really about money or property. it's about loyalty and devotion, about striving for perfection and fulfilling your duty. a jack of diamonds is a hard worker, dedicated to a fault, stubborn as a mule, and so very hard to change bc of that. making them come around and change their mind is frustrating bc they don't want to admit they're wrong. and well, kenta might be aware of the fact that what he's doing is wrong, but. what other purpose does he have? he owes this much to his "father" (read: owner). the abuse disguised as love might be painful to take at times but does he really deserve anything more? ("yes," answer pete and kim, vehemently, above everyone else. "no," whispers kenta's own mind, black with tony's poison.)

kim: where kenta avoids change and doesn't believe he's capable of making things better for others bc he's simply not that strong, kim is the opposite. he has clear principles and he's unwilling to give those up for anything. he cannot stand watching what tony is doing after learning about his crimes. he stands up for justice, for the mistreated children under tony's care, for his career and talent, and most of all, for himself. he will not bend into anyone's will – hell, he'd rather die than let that happen as he proves by comforting tony in his own home about his misdeeds which really requires some huge balls from this guy. (sorry kim, i might love you but what were you even thinking???)

seven of clubs is a card that is about taking a stance and going against something you find wrong. it is about resistance bc you're so convinced that what you think or do is the right thing. it is about change – about forcing change to happen bc things cannot continue the way they are. and this is all truly what kim represents: conviction, sense of justice, and believing in your own capability and skills. some might see him a bit arrogant, too, but i think it's one of his best qualities that he's confident and knows exactly where he stands, what he wants, and what he deserves.

as a couple, i've already said it: kenta and kim are two sides of the same coin. that's what makes them clash but also work together. kim questions why kenta is doing what he is doing while also showing how strong he can be when he believes in himself and his principles. that affects kenta enough to make him break out of his cage – slowly, one broken rule at a time, but still. eventually, he picks up that knife and kills the final beast. he is free or left adrift, i don't really know. but at least, he's found another duty and has accepted change as the necessary evil. no more hurting innocents. something can be stronger than tony (other ppl's devotion to each other, perhaps? kenta isn't sure but i hope he figures it out.)

(an additional note of this edit: i think it's fitting that kenta's pic is more on the dark side, while kim's is brighter/has brighter yellow tones. kenta is the shadow while kim is the light etc. etc. you know what i mean)

[quinloki]

I JUST

I cannot handle the shanks/marco I just cannot get it out of my BRAIN

I don’t even have anything good going on in my brain about it bc I am so so not used to yandere vibes but omg it’s been running along in my head with the WBP one

I just…. Ugh….. giving into shanks after all that because you’re tired and at least this way you can be close to Marco, and if you’re behaving Marco doesn’t get hurt. And really, if you’re both behaving Shanks is a little more relaxed about it. I could see him testing, offering a little more freedom here and there. Maybe one or both of you fail the first few times, and you’re punished, but you learn better and take the freedom without pushing it after that. You can go to certain areas of the ship without being escorted, spend time together without someone always there, and really sleeping in Shanks’ bed at the end of the day isn’t so bad. It’s more comfy than some of the places you were punished, and you get to fall asleep with Marco if you’re good.

…..

IDK I GOT NOTHING ITS JUST BOUNCING AROUND IN MY HEAD LIKE A PING PONG BALL

and I’m sorry Marco I would break so fast I am weak minded

Oohhh>.>

Things go well for a good couple of weeks after you just cave and break for Shanks. You and Marco almost have a passable illusion of freedom, aside from the nagging understanding of your situation you'd almost think you were there by your own desires.

One day, the Red Force is docked, the crew are ashore. You're both let off the ship, and for the most part Shanks stays with you. You're all three almost like a real throuple.

At some point Marco realizes it's just you and him.

No sea stone.

No Shanks.

There's crew, but no one's close by.

He doesn't overthink it, transforms and has you on his back. You're clear of the island before you even really understand what's going on. You've been dissociating so hard lately that it just takes a while.

Marco isn't in tip top shape, but he's not beat or worn down either. He rides the thermals, uses every trick he knows, flies for almost two days before you both stop somewhere and truly rest. Food, water, two hours of sleep maybe and he's back in the air.

Keeps it up for nearly two weeks. He's not even sure where he is when you finally stop and spend a couple days on an island, and neither of you ask. You do your best to appear to be locals instead of tourists, and stick around for a few days recovering, building strength.

It's hard work just living after being confined in the ship for so long. But Marco's body recovers extra fast and he's doing work while you're still getting your own self back up to par.

Maybe you get weeks like this. Maybe months. Maybe the world changes and you both figure Shanks just... isn't Shanks anymore. Everything's different, why not him?

But this isn't a story with a happy ending.

The point of Shanks' sword is pressing into your throat, you can't move, couldn't if you wanted to, but if you do you'll slit your own throat. It's everything you have to keep yourself precariously balanced - you can't even hear what's being said around you.

Marco's in the doorway, already on his knees, Beckman and Hongo are holding onto him as he's begging Shanks not to hurt you. He remembers the rules, he knows he's the one that took off, took you with him, gave Shanks the slip for months. It was him, but he'll endure anything Shanks wants to do to him, he can implant sea stone into his body if he wants.

But hurt him. Punish him.

It's weeks before you see Marco again. You hear him. Every day. Somewhere else on the ship roaring in pain, but it's weeks before you see him. Weeks begging Shanks to let you bear some of the pain, to ease some of his punishment, but Shanks doesn't. Says he's honoring Marco's wishes, and won't deny his convictions.

When you do finally see Marco he doesn't say much, smiles at you, looks you over, asks if you're okay. You promise you are, and he just lays down with you. Cuddles. Keeps you within arms reach for days, eating enough to live, and speaking enough to ease your fears. It takes a few more days for the light to come back into his eyes.

You have to hope someone can save you both eventually, but the world's already changed, and you're still on the ship.

[stinkigami]

my fav moments from recentish chapters for my own reference bc why not

91

>My friends...don't make such sad faces.

Even though I am living here and now with all of you,

If this sacrifice of mine paves the way for new history,

If these flames of mine can create a new life,

>Then I am ready for my fate.

>I've been collecting these stones because I thought they could be parts of my parent...

>But even though you might not be my real parent,

Once I get them all, I'll still give them back to you, Mukuro.

Because it is your body.

>This pregnant woman is dead...yet the child inside her is still alive.

>I've seen so many dead bodies by now...and yet never a body which still held the warmth of another's life...

>I can still save the child.

>And yet...

>What miserable life of loneliness awaits him, an undying child who has no parent by his side.

>Least I can do is give you a name...

>Since my name is Mukuro, a 'corpse'...you shall be called

>Kabane. [true meaning: dead body]

>Do you resent Akane, your aunt?

>While I was living in the village...I did think that auntie might have hated me. But looking back now...

>I think I can understand her feelings a little.

>The reason she was afraid of me...was because

>She was afraid something could happen to Yataro.

>She was determined to kill me because she wanted to protect what was important to her.

>Of course, this hurted me.

>But auntie wasn't in the wrong either...So I do not resent her.

92

>Our ancestor, Hachifuku Tasaburo the First, believed that despite all their differences and misunderstandings, kemono and humans still could co-exist, accepting each other as equals.

>As a Tasaburo of today,

>I am determined that the atrocities commited by Inari Yoko cannot be tolerated.

you can skip the kaido infodump

>The giant mamono sent after Kabane-san and his friends is mostly likely the work of Kaido, the minister of national security.

>I really dislike men like him...parading around in his suit, creating that uncanny fearsome image.

>I do not care about your opinion. State the facts.

>Ohhh! Ohhh! My master, I am so very sorry! Please, do not get mad at me!!

>Oh...Well!

>It seems like he often has some sort of 'secret talks' with Mikage, the minister of the mamono project.

>What are they talking about?

>Well...It's a little diffcult to explain...

>Minister Kaido is a fanatic of sorts, as they say? He's collecting lots of toy monsters from those monster movies he loves,

>And together with Mikage they are like children...obsessed with the idea of bringing these monsters to life.

>So to say...what they actually are doing is Kaido having his ape minions undergo mamono transformation,

>Creating real atrocities one after another.

>As of today, Kaido has successfully brainwashed his whole species into believing that their sole purpose in life is to become these 'monsters'...creating an army of pawns who don't feel any pain.

>It' him...

>I'm sure, this Kaido...

>...is the one trying to create the 'perfect mamono'.

>Perfect...?

>Meaning the one whose body wouldn't self-destruct.

>The ape kemono clan, 'shoujou', as I knew them

>were kemono who achieved their prosperity by firmly believing that 'violence is justice'. They valued the strength of their clan as a whole over their lives as individuals.

>And a thousand years ago, they were the ones who killed the most humans in the war.

>Therefore, I decided against them being among those fourteen who created the kemono stones.

>Even though as a clan they were truly superior.

>It is no wonder that Kaido has sided with Inari Yoko then.

>Birds of a feather, huh?

>They really match each other.

this one is only bc i wanna show thin calling himself handsome

>Back when we saw the raibow tides in Vietnam, I sent the pictures of the mamono corpse to my colleagues, asking 'Does anyone know what is this?'

>And Thin was the only one who didn't reply at all.

>That was so out of character for you, so I assumed that you must be in Japan.

>I wanted to reply right away~~~

>But I couldn't, because e-mails are checked by the government.

>But The Tanuki Express isn't! So I've been relying the mamono data we acquire to Doctor Thin.

>As for now, I'm but a random handsome doctor in Tokyo...there wasn't much I could do until now.

>But the mice are on our side now, right?

>That means I am free to work in my Kyoto lab while keeping it a secret~

>A secret..?

>The fact that it's possible to start the vaccine development.

>Oh!

>Right!

>If we have the vaccine, we could intentionally trigger the self-destruction of the mamono bodies...

>In that case, even if Kaido's plans go through, we at least will have some means to counter him.

>But...

>If an in-deep research could be possible...

>Then I'd like to eliminate the virus in a way that would not destroy those affected,

>But rather cure them.

>Just something I'd want to try...my personal wish.

>Geh?!

>What the hell?! Hitting on a guy already?!

Isn't he with his girlfriend?! Are you blind??

>Hey! Are you kidding me?! Have you got no shame?!

>Ah! Don't raise your voice at me!

>Huh? Who's raising voice now??

>Sorry, dude~ She's with me. She's just at that age when things get a little...

>Alright, let's use them! Go Go Tsubaki!

>Sigh...

>Oh...you know, we are heading for that farm too, in order to observe things.

>Even though we all are working for the government, sometimes there are some disagreements...so the higher-ups sent us there from Tokyo to check up on the farm.

>Umetaro-san sticks to moderate views within the government...

>He continues to work under Inari-sama in order to minimize possible casualties, like in this case.

>So, will you please join forces with us? I'm sure we have the same goal, even though we will be working differently.

>How is...Nobimaru-kun?

>Well...he's alive for now, I guess? Who knows how much longer he can keep it up though...

>Huh?! What do you mean? Aren't you friends? What happened between you two?!

>Huh? I wouldn't call us 'good friends'...And I do worry about him, okay!

>I do...worry...

>Huh?! What is that thing?!

>You've seen it before.

>Oh! You mean back when we attacked the mobster hideout?

>I didn't recognize! Didn't think your body would become like this!!

>Well...

>Neither did I.

>Does anyone else know about this?!

>I'm afraid Hoshikuma has sensed it, but remains quiet.

>Inari-sama is aware as well, but she doesn't care.

>What...She doesn't..?

>But did you not do this to yourself in order to please her...

>I guess he's ready for whatever awaits him later. That poor bastard realized there's nothing that can help him, and he is deaf to words.

>But still...You know,

>I don't wanna Nobimaru-san to die like this.

>I've seen people I know die and die again...I don't want to see anyone dying no more.

>Does that...include me, too?

>Of course!

>Friends or foes...I really don't want anyone to die.

>I've decided for myself that the best outcome would be for both sides to have less casualties if possible.

>I guess everyone's kinda outta their mind, huh?

>I get it!!

>Uwah!

>Umetaro-san! Aren't we alike?

>Huh?!

>I don't want you to die either! I'm glad we were able to meet again and talk. Let's do our best tomorrow!

>Oh...Akira-chan...

nice gag aimoto very funny (rolls eyes)

>Big Brother, you got it all wrong!!

>Seriously, we were just discussing our viewpoints and found something in common before tomorrow's mission...

>Right! Big Brother, Umetaro-san is a good person!

>Is that so. If it's about tomorrow, shouldn't all parties be involved?

>Yeah...You are right.

>Oh?

>>>hit 30 images

woah,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

disclaimer i like to paraphrase a little but overall the meaning is like thsi

[seelestia]

who are a few mutuals that you appreciate alot? mutual appreciation day 🥰❤️😊🤩💐✨

OOOO FUNFUNFUN!!! thank u so much for sending this in and for essentially spreading positivity, nonnie. this is appreciated ♡ also, instead of strictly moots, i decided to extend my appreciation to everyone! moots, anons, friends and readers alike ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

some odeliaesqué sappy appreciation under the cut:

@yvnaology - one of my fav facts abt yona was that she's one of the first moots i ever had on tumblr!!! and she's a lyney kisser and a fellow aventurine kisser (#taste). also she's so silly (/aff) and easy to talk to! like u'll feel at ease around her. she deserves good great and awesome things in life, so make sure to water ur yona daily with love <3

@solarisfortuneia - mika wished me congrats when i reached 1k and i still remember it till this day <3 she's friendly in a shy/modest way and suchsuchsuch a good writer! e.g. i cry over this every day actually. mika also has her silly moments sometimes too. someone save her /j

@floraldresvi - simply the sweetest & most supportive moot EVER! vivi is full of love and she's good at giving some of that love to others <3 her selfships are like bottles of serotonin to me. 100% would drop anything and everything in my hands to support her!!! and ik she'd do the same for me <3 mwah mwah 💐💐

@monicahar - the moot who comes online once in a while and drops absolute meals when she does. ate, left no crumbs 🔥🔥 also SUPER FUNNY!!! and unhinged, i'm concerned but amused at the same time. i hope she's having a nice break!! thank u for ur past & future services ma'am. we love u 🤭🤭

@milk-violet - MIREI !!! sunshine personified but also vv precious. i'm the leader of # protecc mirei squad (real). best person to have ever appeared in my notifs and i lovelovelove when her username pops up. take care & good luck with school! IK U CAN DO IT. remember what i said: slay before ur slayed 🗣️

@xianyoon - the butterfly moot 🦋 !!! both socially and aesthetically hehe. sosooso sweet & kind. has creative projects and executes them well at that too. i personally crown her as genshinblr's best hostess™! also, send her a moodboard and she'll cherish u forever - that's one of her love languages <3 ++ her pretty & aesthetic rb's are such a good refresh for my dash. love her for it!!

@hermosacolibri - the name, 'starlight' fits them sm bcs i feel like if we were to take a peek into their mind, stars will burst out!!! /pos (<- unique complimenting skills ik pardon me). their ideas are brilliant and i can tell they put their all into pursuing their vision <3 it's truly an honor to be a witness & reader. if u want to check them out, they write over at @/starlightlacrimosazpsff !!! ★

@wolfhookk - aaaaa ri !!!! booping her x1000 rn bcs i cannot believe boop trend ended when she came online. the discrimination 😔 /j i'll always remember ri as my first ever moot on here like first, 1st, #1!!! i forever thank her for swooping into my inbox back then and she's welcome to do that even now any time she likes <3

@kaiserkisser - skylia is the true angst consumer, the realest of it!! even in different fandoms LOL. she's nice (and gremlin-ish) when u get to know her more and she reciprocates energy really well! i'll never forget the disaster of boops in my notifs /lh

@callilouv - COOL MUTUAL ALERT !!!! cool art & cool interests. truly, picasso w/ the finger and fandoms!! idk if cal still draws with his finger dhjahshsj but still vv mega cool!

@manager-of-the-pudding-bank - the grandpas & old men kisser where art thou 💔 /j loqua has that awkward & silly rizz!!! idk if she still does wax stamps but i still think it's really cool. bcs qua's just cool in general !!! hehe

@calxlu - aaaaa vi!!! the one who enables my rambles and selfships shhshsh i am so thankful <3 rambler 🤝 rambler is the best. i love talking to her and it's super reassuring to know that it's mutual! even if i take some time but i always look forward to seeing her replies in my inbox. it's like we're penpals across the screen talking abt irl stuff and our f/o's ꒰✿´ ꒳ ` ꒱♡

& honorable mention: @/zhongrin. rin does not interact with minors anymore (which i respect and so should everyone!), so we count as former moots. but !!! i still think she's an amazing person regardless <3 (note: her blog is equally as great but plsplspls be mindful of her rules beforehand.)

brainrot anon - A REAL ONE!!! always there when i come back from the grave each time. i get reminded of them whenever i look at my inbox, it's an instinct atp. their brainrots are so fun & random (but that's a charm in itself /pos) !!! tbh i love elaborating them all so never stop sending the brainworms in <3 feel free to treat my inbox as a drop-off for ur thoughts LMAO /gen. come by again soon!

michiki anon - MY COUSINNNMNMN!!! i still love and miss when they'd come into my inbox to chat. it was so nice getting to know someone in a casual way <3 i hope ur doing well wherever u are, michikinon! i'm doing well these days and i hope u are too 🤍

rix anon - their series still has me FLOOOORED. i still think it deserves a proper platform than just thru my lil ol inbox. it deserves more recognition :( but just the fact that i got to help share their writing alone is an honor of its own!!! i hope ur doing well too, rix anon <3

++ everyone who has left a nice feedback / said anything nice in my notifs or my inbox!! even a simple 'cute' or 'this is good' or even just leaving a note means sososo much to me. i'm just a measly guy in my own little corner on this site, really - so thank u thank u thank u all !!! 🫂

[nemo-of-house-hamartia]

Hello again!

Thank you so much for welcoming me into your corner of the internet (it really feeds into my Ac obsession, as if I needed more of that lol, but really it’s nice to see other ppl that like some side characters ahem *likeFedericoand Greencoat*ahem). And thank you for your answer abt Feducia as well, I’m glad you liked the library gifting idea for I have another one : Imagine if the library had secret alcove(s) and/or passage(s) and one of them lead to a small balcony. Do you think Federico would stand below said hidden balcony to read poetry/Lucia’s favourite pieces while she stood up there and admired him from above ? (A bit like the infamous balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet, the inspiration came after reading @giuliettaluce’s seriously adorable fanfic “Upon their holy act, the heaven smiles”)

Oh! I also really like your Aranea x Mephisto ship and I’m so excited abt your new(?) OC Tatiana Volkov bc I seriously thought the Flables/The Wolf Among Us fandom was dead when I arrived late as usual 😂 And I love both ships dynamics, I think it just suits them very well

Hope you had a good day and keep going, xx

(Ps Im sorry abt the long long asks I’m just excited to share my ideas with you)

Hello there again, Nonnie!!!

Please, do partake in coffee that I just made (wish I could truly offer you one through the screen)!!

AND OMG YES. PLEASE, DO ALLOW ME TO ABSOLUTELY FEED INTO THE HYPERFIXATION FOR ASSASSIN'S CREED.

I myself have been going strong for almost 5 years, AND AM STILL GOING STRONG.

THE OBSESSION IS REAL

So please, do sit tight and enjoy the ride!

AND OMG YES. YES.

FEDERICO AND GREENCOAT ARE MY BEBE.

Like, I still get super SUPER salty about the fact that Federico has met his end basically 5 minutes in the game (infact, around here, we absolutely throw canon out of the window, and Fede is alive, well and living his best life with his love, somewhere in Italy - in my particular case, in the Kingdom of Sicily with Lucia. Trapani has never been more beautiful than when they lived there!).

To say *absolutely* nothing of HOW SALTY I AM ABOUT GREENCOAT. 2 MINUTES OF TRAILER, AND UBI HAS NOT DEIGNED TO GIVE US A *GLIMPSE* OF WHO HE WAS, WHAT'S HIS REASON WERE, HIS PURSUITS, NOTHING.

BUT.

As salty as I am about that, I am also immensely grateful, because if the Baguette Bois were full-fledged NPC, then I would have never created my Mathias, and as you will see now that you are here, he is my most beloved brainchild alongside my darling Dorothea <3.

SO YES.

WE STAN THE TERTIARY CHARACTERS THAT ARE BASICALLY OCS!!

Now, onto your question:

YES.

YES.

TRIPLE YES.

I *absolutely* believe that Federico would stand below said balcony and recite Lucia's favourite poems ( probably the Canto 5 passage of Paolo e Francesca from Dante's Commedy, her most favourite AMONG ALL).

I can envision it so well, with Lucia just beaming and listening to him as he recites those poems, waiting for him to just climb up her to her balcony (because she KNOWS he would do that. Man cannot stay away from climbing around, as much as he likes to make it believe that it's becasue he needs to follow Ezio and make sure he's not going to fall face first lolol).

AND OMG YES, JUST LIKE ROMEO AND JULIET. ABSOLUTELY

(it kinda helps that my FC for Lucia is the beautiful Olivia Hussey as Juliet from Zefirelli´s movie).

AND I KNOW RIGHT??? @giuliettaluce IS THE *ABSOLUTE* PROFESSOR WHEN IT COMES TO ROMEO AND JULIET, AND HER WRITING IS JUST SO IMMENSELY BEAUTIFUL.

Seriously, she wrote for me the Federico/Lucia one-shot based on Romeo and Juliet that was EVERYTHING, and she wrote for me a one-shot about Mathias/Dorothea that I have never shared, but that I reread truly often and it melts my heart each time. She is such precious friends and beautiful person, it warms my heart SO MUCH knowing that you appreciate her writing <3 she deserves ALL THE PRAISE.

ALL THE PRAISE.

AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

MY MEPHISTO/ARANEA AND BIGBY/TATIANA.

they are my "dark pairings", so to speak, because while I love to dwell in FLUFF galore, and this is something that I generally explore with my Assassin's Creed pairings (though, there is a certain dose of darkness there as well), with Mephisto/Aranea and Bigby/Tatiana I LOVE to explore the darker side of the relationship between two lovers (though, tbh, Mephisto/Aranea take the crown in this, but that's easy because Bigby and Tatiana are still very much decent people altogether, while Mephisto is a freaking Archdevil and Aranea is his Warlock/Consort, so they are bound by their own character alignment - which is firmly on the evil side).

AND OMG, LISTEN, NO FANDOM IS TRULY DEAD UNLESS I AM DEAD, TRUST AND BELIEVE.

I AM STILL HERE, WRITING AND DRAWING STUFF FOR FFXII, AND IT HAS BEEN ALMOST 20 YEARS SINCE ITS RELEASE.

So trust and believe, no fandom is ever truly dead, and you are MORE THAN WELCOME to discuss whichever fandom you fancy at present! :)

(and please, do not worry about sending me long asks. I *ADORE* reading them, the longer the better. GIMME A DOORSTOPPER ASK OR GIVE ME NOTHING LOLOL I am kidding of course! always feel free to send asks as long or as short as you prefer, at your own convenience <3 just know that they are always welcomed! <3)

WISHING YOU A PLEASANT, BEAUTIFUL DAY NONNIE.

HERE, TAKE SOME LASAGNA I MADE AT LUNCH.

*gives lasagna in tupperware*

--Nemo

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

so howd you like it what are your thoughts

Anon, I hope you don't mind it but I'm going to use this ask as an excuse to do my Full On Rambling post about my honest thoughts. I'll try to keep is as coherent as possible, but I can't actually guarantee it :')

Also putting it under a cut because some of it is going to sound negative (as I said, I want to exorcise any critiques I have so I can go back to Vibing asap) and I know many people (undestandibly!!) won't want to read that, and I don't want to burst anyone's happy bubble :) . And also because of s3 spoilers. Bear in mind that it's not a rant post, I still had tons of fun with the season. But since I'm going to be talking about the things I enjoyed forevermore and gonna try to keep all my 'didn't really like this :/'s contained in this post, it may come out sounding like I enjoyed it less than I truly did. Here we go, get ready for some Thoughts

-> Content

Okay, listen. This season was fun. I had a nice time watching the newest shenanigans. New characters (with one notable exception) were a joy to watch (yes, even the thing. We're in a toxic situationship) and I was greatly amused by their adventures; most of them kept me on the edge of my seat.

(ok, here's where the negativity begins. Please don't take me for someone who wanted everything to be done for Their Specific Standards or who thinks they know more than the professional and extremely skilled team that was behind the series. I'm just throwing around thoughts about how I feel, but in the end, the only thing that matters is that Luke Pearson and the team got to tell the story they wanted to. If that was achieved, I'm happy regardless)

However, I couldn't help but think that some of it felt... like it was "thrown" at us, in a way? To be fair, I think most of the negative points I'll discuss in this post are a consequence of this season being 6 epsidoes short of what the writers originally planned because, as I've mentioned before, I do think the show's writing is great and that the team puts their heart and soul into making this the best cartoon possible. Anyway, what I mean is that at times I thought the episodes seemed so worried with delivering all the information they could that a lot was left behind and some stuff didn't really tie together with the rest.

For example; I still cannot understand why aunt Astrid and Anders had to be these big surprises that had never been mentioned before if Hilda, the character who we see this world through, already knew about them? Don't misunderstand me, I am well aware that these nitpicks of mine are subjective and only my personal opinions that may very well simply be a consequence of not understanding what the writers were trying to achieve. I just feel like Johanna's family and Hilda's father are topics that have been discussed so at lenght in the fandom, precisely because they'd been so carefully skirted around in the previous seasons, that the reveal that nothing really dramatic had happened (between Johanna/Astrid and Johanna/Anders, at least) feels anticlimatic to me. It just feels (again, to me, personal opinion) that if this was going to be the case all along they could have mentioned these characters before, and it would have made the narrative make a little more sense.

(This is especially true to me in Anders' case. Bc it felt to me like they had been trying to highlight how irrelevant Hilda's dad was to the story in the first seasons by not bringing him up at all, by not even pointing out his abscence. But I can't really see the point in that if you're gonna bring out the man either way)

Ironically, at the same time I felt like some of the arcs were a tad overachieving, especially the Johanna's parents one. I just felt like it was Too Much Too Quickly, which once again is likely because of the season having been shortened. I feel like if they really wanted to do that arc, and that way, it would have been helpful to cut some other storylines so they could begin fleshing out this one earlier. They way it was done I just personally (can you tell I'm terrified of being taken as a hater?) felt like there was no time at all to get either used to the idea of Johanna being half faerie nor to get attatched to her parents. Like. I know the episode was the season's emotional peak, but it just didn't hit me the way I know it should.

Not sure if this was a me problem, but I felt like the audience wasn't given enough time to process what had even happened when they got stuck in the fairie island, nor to even consider that they'd truly be stuck there forever, much less to fully process the sacrifice Johanna was making when she left it with Hilda. I didn't get to get attached to Johanna's parents or to the dynamic they have with their daughter. I didn't suffer the way I wanted to when I saw them having to part ways, because I couldn't become invested in their bond when I was still trying to wrap my head around what their backstory even was and pay attention to the action heavy scenes that were to come.

What I'm gonna say here is way meaner than the people behind the show's writing deserve and I know, I can absolutely tell it isn't the case because you can see some of the foreshadowing once you have the benefit of hindsight, but it felt to me like some of Johanna's backstory was written for shock value alone. Which, considering the previous components of the season that I have already mentioned felt underwhelming, was even more jarring.

Another thing is that I feel like a lot was sacrificed in order to do these overachieving arcs. This maaay just be the side character lover and change hater in me, but I do feel like in order to present to us all these new concepts that would be necessary for the backstory to make sense, we were deprived of some elements in Hilda The Series that are arguably what the show does best. It felt like they all but scratched all of their previous stories, characters and components to switch them up for new ones. Pikablob has said it better than me, tbh.

However. I do feel like saying that none of the fears I had for the season came true. No character feels ooc, no one was left with an incomplete arc, and though I can't see how Anders contributes to the story, if he had to be there I feel like the way that was it done was the right one.

-> Pacing

Frenetic. Run for the hills kind of thing sometimes. Which, once again, I can't bring myself to believe was the writers' fault, not when they had other 6 episodes planned that they didn't get to do. I absolutely understand that they had to condense everything they wanted to show us into half the runtime. But it did become an issue (to me) when instead of the trademark Hilda Idyllic Tranquility I usually feel while watching (even plot and action heavy content like TMK), I felt like I was watching a completely different cartoon. Carmen Sandiego, or something like that (please note that I do also love Carmen Sandiego). Many times it just felt like there was no breathing space, which isn't necessarily bad when done well, but I hadn't gone into the season prepared for that.

It wasn't a problem that was all around present, though. I do want to point out that imo "The Giant Slayer", "The Laughing Merman", "Strange Frequencies" and even "The Forgotten Lake" still felt like Hilda to me. Which is where I realize what the main issue I had with the season was. That a lot of it just felt like a different show.

-> ~ vibes ~

I am bringing back the disclaimer that if the team told the story they wanted to, then good for them, I'm pleased as can be. I do enjoy that the series played with some different concepts. The musicality and colours in The Laughing Merman, for example, were absolutely delightful to me. Seriously, I want an entire Hilda musical now.

But some things I just couldn't help but feel were so disconnected from the previous feel of the show that it felt to me like they didn't belong. You can sum the rest of this post up by saying that season 3 would have been one of my favourite ever cartoons if it had been its own thing. But it's not, so I can't help but compare it and try to understand how all of the installments work when together.

The faeries, for example. I was so excited when I saw the trailer and knew it was going to be one of the plots, because I thought it was going to be another adventure of the day type of thing that would span over three episodes max. And listen, I've talked about how much I love Celtic folklore, and maybe this is just my consistency loving brain being annoying, but it felt a bit... clashing? that this season was based on tales and creatures and treaditions that weren't the scandinavian ones that inspired the rest of the series. It just felt like a major shift in tone that I don't really understand (once again, me problem, may very well be a skill issue on my part & I'm not saying they shouldn't have ventured so far just bc I didn't quite vibe with it). It just feels a bit off to me, knowing that Johanna's backstory was likely planned from the start, that there wasn't any celtic lore at all in previous seasons to make this sudden detachment from nordic folklore feel less out of the blue.

You know that joke that Disney movies like Aladdin and Raya take concepts from different cultures and smash them together like they're not completely different? I felt to some extent (bc OF COURSE Hilda is much better researched and has a lot better quality than that /gen) like they did that this season. But with white people. Which, fair, I can appreciate the irony.

Back to the topic of bold storylines, I understand what the Hilda team did with all the Johanna backstory. I understand that it's something that everyone wanted to see soo bad and they wanted it to be great (and it was). The thing I got stuck on is just that it ended up changing the vibe of the show to me. Whereas previous seasons feel like "slice of life in a magical place", I felt like this time I was watching a magic centered fantasy. Especially when they got into trying to explain the origin of magic and everything. Which is ironic, because I enjoyed the concept a lot and will explore it in the future, but it still felt like something that I wouldn't have expected Hilda the Series to tackle. Like there was a giant shift from folkloric to fantastic that isn't bad, but it is different and I hadn't been prepared for that lol.

God, I feel like I just wrote all of that and just to be A Bitch. I just wanted to get these thoughts out but I don't expect you guys to agree or anything. I genuinely liked watching this season, and I will continue to reiterate this in the future. And even if it doesn't beat s1 or s2 in my heart, I'm still grateful we got a final season at all, and everyone who was involved in it deserves all the praise <3

[haemosexuality]

about my tav, phynn (who is kind of a self insert):

phynn is a drow that was born in the underdark and raised by a lolth sworn family. after trying several times, she successfully escaped her city when she was 76. since then, she has been moving around a lot- living in areas of the underdark that are very near the surface and dont have many drows (she doesnt mind the deep gnomes and duergar), but mainly in the outskirts of surface cities, including of course Baldur's Gate. it took her almost a decade to get used to the sun

she is a thief, and a very good one. shes had odd jobs here and there but she makes most of her outcome by straight up stealing whatever she can find and then selling it. when shes in big, rich cities like Baldur's Gate, she does a looot of burglary. breaking and entering is like her favorite hobby. she also had to get very good at fighting, both bc of the whole drow thing and bc of all the criminaling

by the start of the game, shes 183 years old, having been living in and around the surface for just over 100 years. in a human au she would be like 24

PERSONALITY AND OTHER FACTS:

her morals are contradicting and alll over the fucking place. that is because i am not good at role-playing and will just do whatever the fuck but in universe is because she was raised by very hardcore lolth worshippers and then spent the next century mostly by herself and getting by by stealing. not a lot of time for things like developing a well established and stable moral code. id say shes chaotic neutral, but with a good heart?

her journey throughout the game at first made her better, she tried to be a good person, and then made her worse because that is a lot of horrible things that happened to her and all her new friends and she is this close to snapping and having a breakdown. also shes killed more people in the last like 4 months than she has in a whole century and that will for sure change a person for the worst. shes become very apathetic and just so goddamn Tired. she didnt sign up for saving the whole world she just wanted this damn tadpole out of her head so she could continue to sell stolen jewelry!!! fucks sake!!

as part of her total off the rails mental breakdown she also became a chronic kleptomaniac. she was a thief before sure but that was just like, her job for her, now its a real compulsion. her raiding everything and everyone she sees and its starting to worry the other companions. this is inspired by me going to GREAT lengths and doing everything i can to steal literally everything i see until i realized i really didnt need to be doing that i have so many shit in my inventory and like 30 thousand gold. then i started feeling bad for these fictional npcs that are not real people and are not important to the story whatsoever because everyone here is so poor i dont need to be stealing but i truly cannot stop. normal behavior

she actually misses some aspects of the underdark. she liked how pretty (and less sunny) it was, and the food. shes not lolth sword but shes not seldarine either, she just kind of doesn't care. obviously shes not a fan of drow culture, but she still gets pretty pissed when surface ppl start talking shit

she is a rogue! she also has some levels of fighter but i just got that for gameplay reasons.

shes dating karlach in denial she doesnt know if she wants to try to convince her to go to hell so she can live, or just accept her wish to let her die. this is inspired by me crying real life tears over this fucking character. also astarion is her bestie they gossip together

not much else to say about her personality shes literally just me if i was given free will to be chaotic insane and kill people

uhm when she met astarion she didnt realize he was a vampire at ALL she assumed he was an albino drow. he ran with it until she woke up to him almost biting her while she slept (canon game event). this is inspired by a comic i saw

APPEARANCE:

eyes: because she was born to a lolth sworn mother her eyes are naturally red. i also gave her cat pupils because that looks cool to me it makes sense that drows would have pupils that can better adjust to lack of/light like that i mean they live underground!! because she is me tho she cant see shit. she used to have glasses but they got lost early in the game in a battle to which she was just blind as fuck and had to be babysat by the other companions. that lasted less than a tenday (dnd week) tho because:

her right eye got Volo'd, and the glass eye volo gives us to replace the one he plucked out is Magic, and not nearsighted! she started covering her left eye with an eyepatch since, because having one eye that can see perfectly and one that cant is awful and confusing. when she doesnt wear the eyepatch, her left eye is always squinting

the glass eye has round pupils, so her pupils are different now too!

she dyes her hair different colors. with the power of Magic and Fantasy Hair Dye. tho her natural hair color is ofc white

has vampire bite scars from astarion. they have an agreement going on where he can feed off of her every few days. people are baffled that its not sexual (astarions traumatized ass included)

she bandages her chest because i cant imagine a worst curse than having to run around and fight and climb mountains with a large chest

[outismm]

Hi- I just wanted to thank you for your Huck posts, it's like the only positive thing in his tag and it made me happy 😭 He's so good and deserves more appreciation! Have you seen season 2 yet? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts!

EEEEEEE HELLLOOOOO!!!!! This ask made me so incredibly happy. There will never be a time when I am not ready to Scream from the rooftops about Huck. Okie this is all just going to be rambling. Bouncing off the walls, giggling, kicking my feet, etc. Spoilers for acts 1 + 2, I'll probably rb this with more thoughts after act 3.

Being bisexual is so embarrassing bc while other people are doing in-depth analysis of the beauty that is this show, and I'm over here spinning a goober around that has,,, MAYBE 10 mins of screen-time, or less.

I DON'T EVEN CARE THOUGH MY HUSBAND IS BACK!!! WE'RE SO BACK!!!!!!!

Truly the instant I clocked his glasses I started squealing and pacing my room MNASDMAN there is no hope for me.

As expected, babygirl is not doing well! The moldy food was a good touch. The terrors are terroring.

Also not Huck related - but loved the Moses vibes Victor was bringing out this scene? Lots of Moses imagery w/ him, just a great move on the writers + animators part, considering his backstory.

It's really important to me that he's terrible at this MANSDMAN

Not only bc it's really Woughe (tm), but just,,, I do love that Huck is a coward? He's a coward in a very human way. 99% of what he does is purely out of desperation.

Just a great character trait tbh!

Also the fact that he's so hesitant gives me the vibes that he's probably never/rarely done this? Like :

This is not the stance of a man who mugs people on the regular MANDSMAN he looks so profoundly out of his depth. The second Victor starts walking towards him instead of trying to run, he starts freakin' the fuck out.

Either he's not used to doing this, or he's used to doing this to ppl who don't/won't/can't fight back. Ack.

^^ He also makes a little sob here when he's holding up the knife. Very important to me.

UHHNGHNOUGHH!!!!

They fixed his hairline and took away his stutter and de-aged him - which are all tragic for me specifically, BUT that's forgiven bc YIPPEEEEEEEE he no longer looks like he's on the verge of death MNADMANSDMN.

I'll forgive Hextech Jesus for hitting him with the Twink Beam. for now.

Victor DID however take away his beautiful brown eyes, and that cannot be absolved.

LOVE how the marks on his face line-up w/ where Victor touched him. Magnificent. Amazing. Kissing the artists with tongue.

Also can't believe I never noticed this before, but the chip in his tooth? Wagh <3

I do appreciate them getting a bit of not-quite-closure? Honestly just nice to see Vi and Huck interacting again after the whole Silco fiasco.

Also - have we ever seen Huck stand upright??? I think?? this might genuinely be the first time we see him at full height???

He's really not as short as he seems!! He's just always curled into himself like a pangolin. Love that deeply.

Also appreciate him getting a gun pointed at him again, always a good time. I love seeing him scared and stressed out <3 MNASDMNAD

He still reacts the same, too! Shoulders all tense, a lil leaned back, lips pursed. Idk I just like how the animators keep the Vibes of characters. All those little traits.

Hm.

I don't approve of him being in a cult but I DO approve of him being in a dress. So once again it balances out.

To whatever artist(s) on the team decided that outfit for him, I'm transferring my savings to your bank account.

No comment.

Actually yes comment - seeing him not back down from a threat is such a contrast to how he usually acts. Woughe. Cult Commune Induced Character Development (mixture of yays and boos)

It's interesting to see how while Victor is able to cure ailments, it also pulls away aspects of the individual's personality. Like that's Huck but that isn't Huck, y'know? We see it way more obviously w/ Salo in ep 4, which is real cool

AND AGAIN, NOTHIN' GOOD LASTS FOR LONG.

Can't wait to see the consequences of this on his physical and mental health <3 need to see him going through it tbh. He will find peace eventually.

Not yet though. get up you gangly fuck there's still more terrors to experience AKJDSAKDJ

I feel like he still has quite a lot of Character Arc To Character Arc so I doubt he's just gonna be like. A Corpse And/Or Corpse-Adjacent. Next act. t'would be very disappointing AMSDNAMDN.

OUGHEEEEE. OKAY. once again anyone who read through all this gets a cookie and a little flower as a hat. runs away.

[godless1999]

Joji - Nectar

Brothers and Dateables + Raphael

(i never finished this so im just posting it bc i can't look at it anymore. enjoy.)

Asmodeus: Modus

i cannot stop, i cannot cry

i will not fret, i will not die

i am machine, i stay alive

... i don't feel the way they programmed me to feel today

i feel like this song really fits asmodeus, and is extremely representative of his internal struggles. the position he's been forced into, the narcissism and pain and doubt he struggles with and has struggled with for so long. everyone expects him to be perfect, and he probably feels like god still tries to control him. he feels so controlled, so robotic. and it's killing him.

an interesting thing to note is the definition of the word modus and how close it is to his name.

the definition of the word modus is "the process by which a machine completes an automatic action" or, when used with operandi, "the way in which a criminal or individual completes their crimes or actions".

how that relates to asmodeus is so obvious and intricate. he is technically a criminal bc he is a demon, and so god views him as a criminal. and so do the angels. and he feels as if he is a machine bc of the way he has to portray himself as an idol. it's all too much to bear. and it's his constant struggle.

Satan: Run

i fell for your magic, i tasted your skin

and though this is tragic, at least i found the end

i witness your madness, you shed light on my sins

and if we share in this sadness, then where have you been?

this song i feel perfectly represents satan's anger and depression. why he comes off like a snuffed out candle, so quiet and mild. keeps to himself. i really see him as someone who has suffered a severely broken heart. and it's made him become reclusive and turn away from the world.

the way the music sounds also helped with my decision. that rock solo really nailed it in.

also the fact that sadness and anger are such close emotions to each other, and they can easily manifest as each other, especially in a mentally unstable individual. it could also represent panic in him.

Leviathan: Sanctuary

if you've been waiting for falling in love

babe you don't have to wait on me

cuz i've been aiming for heaven above

but an angel ain't what i need

... cuz what you want is what i want, sincerity

this song though. honestly a banger. and it fits levi so well.

just the way i feel like he'd react to falling in love with someone who genuinely loved him. after spending so long alone and lonely with no one to share his time with. it would be truly like heaven to him.

with how envious he is of happiness, it would be such a shock, and a beautiful one, for him to find someone who truly understands him and loves him.

Lucifer: Nitrous

guess i've been awake, thinking bout our fate

fighting two devils, blood in my toothpaste

spit into the night, thought it would be nice

you just made me nervous, you were cold as ice

won't go too in depth about this one but i definitely get lucifer's vibes from this. he seems like a hot and cold lover. someone who plays hard to get while secretly yearning for you so hard. down bad as fuck.

Raphael: Normal People

so tell me if i'm mad

there's something in your laugh

that makes me fear the way you smile

raph being understandably on his guard around both demons and his fellow angels bc of how psycho and fake all of them are, and how quickly all of them will turn on you. he knows it's at the drop of a hat. living in a den of snakes.

Belphegor: 777

Solomon: Reanimator

Mammon: Like You Do

Simeon: Tick Tock

Barbatos: Daylight

Diavolo: Upgrade

Beelzebub: Pretty Boy

[mommyashtoreth]

crowley's s1 design vs crowley's s2 design go

GREAT question I am so pumped for this bc if you know me you know I like character design and ESPECIALLY goth character design. His design changes a bit within both seasons but I'll say that the 2011-era design (yknow, with the half-bun and the silver chain and the tortoiseshell rims) is like, top tier Crowley design to me. It's also less corp goth than like, s2 Crowley and thus more easily replicable by Me Specifically and as. ahem. The Crowlet Of The Group that does a lot for me. But that doesn't mean I DON'T like the sleeker corp-gothy s2 look, I love the blazer and the shoes and how the scarf works with it all and I truly cannot complain about a season of television that delivers a 50something goth cuntress in a turtleneck and a black leather vest. One thing I'm not Crazy about in the s2 design is the hair, I like the color and think the lighter streaks especially are very fun but I don't Love the way it's styled. Like it's fine I don't hate it but it's just not as good as the half-bun very little ever will be. And in general I prefer the more "natural"-looking s1 color, I default to describing Crowley as "ginger" in most cases and even when I refer to his "red hair" (like when I say his stomach hair is red or his bush is red in any of my terrible terrible writing) I'm imagining a more orangey natural red. That's just personal preference tho! Either way I think he's got a great design, I've lauded it before, I really love how different textures and fabrics and finishes are used to not make the monotone black feel "boring" or samey or anything. Being goth is hard work! You don't want the blacks to blend into each other too much but you DEFINITELY don't want the blacks to clash too much either. It's a delicate balance and I think the show strikes it really well

Bonus lightning round of me ranking every historical Crowley costume I can think of off the top of my head, worst to best:

French Revolution bc it blows, the medieval Black Knight one bc it's kind of boring, Shakespeare bc who cares, Bilbo the Shite or whatever his name is I'm sorry but I'm not into it. the minisode is great but it's nowhere near one of his best looks, 1800s St James Park bc who cares, 1940s it doesn't do that much for me I'm sorry once again (I think it's the slickness of the hair again. I don't dig it), angelmode which certainly isn't hot per se but I still need to see bouncing and moaning on it, 1960s, 1970s, the Crucifixion bc I NEED a milf with a receding hairline or I'll die don't let me die, 1890s Edinburgh because Jesus God the cunt (it's the shape of the shoulders), and NANNY ASHTORETH!!! You thought I wouldn't count her would you. Well you thought wrong that's what we do around here baby

[eyes-inthe-dark]

Hi Hello I actually make things sometimes

I don't know if anyone who follows me is interested in this stuff bc I very rarely post things from my own life, but I decided to be a little more active on here besides reblogging funny shit regarding my current hyperfixation.

So, here is the (incomplete) crafting diary of a neurodivergent trans person surviving christmas with the family and the dark and dreadful times (winter) in general by making shit! with my hands!

First: fiber stuff

I picked up tablet weaving over the last few months of 2023 and made my first pair of somewhat mistake-free shoelaces over the holidays! Only got the pattern completely right on the second try with the red but both laces now get to add a fun little detail to my shoes.

Next I tried a more complicated pattern and experimented a lot, hence the irregular pattern and troubleshooting at the start of the band. I'm now repurposing it as a camera strap and I learned a lot from it tho.

My current setup is basic cardboard tablets (I had to make extra ones so I had enough for the last band with 30 cards), tying the warp to something sturdy like a bookshelf, and sitting down with a backstrap belt on the other side of the room. I used thin wool yarn for this, which stuck to itself quite a lot, but not too much to be unmanagable, and I really like how the finished product feels.

If anyone's interested, I could make a longer post on how I made the shoelaces, I think it's a very beginner friendly project.

I managed to get my hands on a drop spindle and gave that a try, but I ran out of wool after making a very small amount of very chunky yarn and am currently working out where to best get sth local. It was fun tho!

I also finally finished the knitted scarf that has been in my wip pile for... approximately three years? I started it when I was still in school, feels like an eternity ago. It's just a simple (although very long) red wool scarf, but it keeps me nice and warm in this cold, harsh- *checks weather* ...5°C and neverending rain.

Next up: woodworking!

Noodled around with my grandpa's old dremel that we still had lying around, which resulted in this truly terrifying weapon:

Behold! I named it Toothling. It's great for poking friends and family when they least expect it.

This was more of a test run to see if it all still works and to try out doing small scale work with wood, now I gotta think of something fun to make. (I say, as if I didn't already have 50 different ideas)

Before that fuckery, I made this magnetic dice box/rolling tray for my lovely partner's birthday.

Though I don't feel like I can take credit for working the CNC magic on this, I did all the hands-on work with the sanding, assembling the magnets, shellac coating, and whatnot. I'm pretty sure wood is some sort of fruit tree, since it smells strongly of what I suspect might be plum or cherry.

Last but sure as fuck not least: embroidery

This I actually get professional instruction for at uni. I've kinda lost patience for it atm, but mostly because I cannot resist making unnecessarily complicated pieces with tiny little stitches and then am forced to finish it because I do actually kinda need to pass this class. My lecturer keeps telling me not to go so detailed, yet I have proven resistant to her good advice. But, I figured if I have to make two full pieces of embroidery to be graded on and put hours of work into, I might as well choose designs that I can turn into patches for my jacket:

Catha and Ruidus! I love me some big moon little moon imagery. The prompt was to incorporate most of the techniques/stitches we've learned so far. Added the little gold chain stitch around ruidus for the arcane latticework. It came out a little wonky shape wise, but I love it nonetheless.

And my most recent wip, a stained glass window design with the Ninth House skull and Gideon's sword behind it, to feed my current Locked Tomb obsession.

And that's it!

[sneezemonster15]

I find it so funny when people try to dissuade people from shipping same sex pairing by using the "We need more representation of close and intimate male friendship. People need to stop making everything gay" excuse. But the reality is that the friendship who is truly under representated is male/female friendship. Ask anybody if 2 guys can be friend? Of course! Ask if 2 girls can be friend? Obviously! Now ask if a a guy and a girl can be friend? "Well, hum ... not really ... the guy probably want to fuck the girl if she is pretty ... the friendship isnt real." Clearly society lacks representation of healthy male/female friendship. Tv shows, anime etc ... give the MC a whole harem of girls (girls who are supposed to be just friends and he thinks of as only friends at the beginning) pining for him or love the trope of the good guy friend who is waiting for the girl to stop dating assholes and finally notice him. Which also lead to the gay best friend trope bc its the only guy who can be the girl's friend.

Representing male/female friendship not only help against heteronormativity but also misoginy. The idea that women arent fun to be around and are boring perpetuate the thought that women are just good at being fucked, at being wifed etc, and not fun enough to just have a good time doing friends stuff ... So men end up thinking they can only return romantic or lustful feelings toward women.

All that to say that those people clearly do not care about friendships representation. They are just annoyed that people prefer same sex pairings to the holy straight pairings. And "feminist" women who cheer because their queens finally got to get the dicks they wanted are advocating for the wrong thing. Celebrating their faves girls being used as sequel factories or for disney happy ever after the heteronormative and misogynist society craves so much, isnt the big flex they think it is.

Well said anon.

Yes, I agree there is a dearth of healthy and realistic m/f friendships in media and they are surely underrepresented. Lately, more creators are portraying m/f friendships in their films/series etc. But yeah, it's such a stereotypical thing to reduce m/f relationships to romantic or lewd isn't it?

I liked how the character of Amy in Gone Girl talked about the Cool Girl trope. How men wanna see women they wanna hang out with in a certain way and outwardly, it seems this is a fun girl, with a free, liberal and casual devil may care attitude yet still have their personalities revolving around the desires and fetishes of men. I also liked how again, the character of Amy in a film called Chasing Amy portrayed a similar issue, even though the film has its own problems. How men see lesbian women and even though their sexual interests don't intersect, men nevertheless feel righteous about constructing sexual fetishes around it, objectifying lesbians because women, by the simple grace of being women, simply cannot do without men, that their whole existence is nullified if men aren't in it.

A male/female relationship which is platonic and based on equal terms can do so much to give some resolution to this issue.

As for the 'feminist' fans in this fandom, it is interesting to see how Sakura or Hinata stans think cheering their faves is a holy act of feminism while understanding nothing about feminism and female representation in media. It has created such a toxic environment in this fandom, and I am sure others. To a huge extent, I blame the industry because the target group of this genre is so impressionable, it's so easy to misinterpret things, especially with how these women are written. While I get why Kishi did it with these two female characters, given they would be paired up with his two main (and clearly gay, living in a homophobic world) characters for the sake of the sequel and that he writes other female characters much better than theirs, it still is very problematic. Because they were never condemned in the actual story. They were never called out. Never made to face consequences for their actions. And this, THIS, makes their fans so insistent about the apparent goodness of them, while sweeping the rest under the carpet. While it doesn't take a genius to spot their faults, it certainly takes a certain level of understanding of narrative, visual language, themes and understanding of the world.

I can talk about narrative subversion till my lungs give out but unless one shows an inclination to learn how narratives are built, they would keep sticking to their token understanding of concepts such as representation and feminism. Which is such a sad phenomenon. It is almost hurtful how so many fans are so willingly tone deaf and blind, all because of some shallow relationship they wish they had. It's amazing to me how well fortified their delusions are. How strong their willingness to be courted by a hot popular boy. How fine they are with having their fave character revolve around some guy for the most superficial of reasons. This is what their understanding of feminism amounts to. All this nonsense for some cheap self insert.

Even Sasuke stans who are anti SNS. They prefer thinking of Sasuke as some cool, badass, revolutionary man archetype who sleeps around and struts with his massive dick out. And this is how they facilitate their Sasuke*fem reader smut. These Guevara extremists who think homosexuality only exists in western societies, who also consider themselves uber feminists, who think Sasuke casually slept with Karin (because why wouldn't he? He is a man and he has a dick and a willing girl is around, it all makes sense lol), are fine with self inserting into a female character, as long as the badass revolutionary would casually fuck her and then throw her away or let her die without a second thought after his demands have been met. Because yay, feminism. Like irony goes to anti SNS and SS/NH to die a horrible death.

Hinata stans would get triggered at SNS posts or anti NH posts and share the same four Spanish panels of photographs of Naruto with his family because that's their understanding of a happy family. Orchestrated studio pictures. Because gay men living in a het marriage have never been clicked. Because gay men in het marriages don't exist. That's their extent of understanding a relationship. A family picture. It is certainly not a flex.

Just look at how SS apply all sorts of mental gymnastics to justify Sasuke staying away from his family for 12 freaking years. Like you can certainly feel bad for SS stans who even after Gaiden, had the courage to ship this ship. The levels of desperation. And to what ends? What is even their payback? Where is their reward? Kishi certainly isn't giving them any.

You know sometimes I feel shipping is a strong word for what I feel for the story. Because Naruto is just a love story about two boys. If I want them to be together, is it shipping? Shipping is such a fandom term. If that's what the story has led me to, to hope for the two main characters to have a resolution that the entire narrative has painstakingly led me to, is it really shipping? I am just an ordinary reader/audience who wants a good ending to this story. The way the creator wrote it. All I did was to follow what he wanted me to see. Is it then shipping or just a natural conclusion to the story? To want them to be with each other?

As for those fans who say 'we need more representation of men being friends, stop making everything gay' are so fucking silly. Like damn, don't we have enough representation of platonic male bonding? There are entire tropes based on that dynamic. Cop buddies, bro code, band of brothers, big brother mentor, bromantic foil, bros before hoes, brother from another mother and this goes on and on and on. I can count like forty films and twenty books off the top of my head that use these male bonding tropes. Just say you are a homophobic piece of shit. Why circumvent facts? Like we live in a patriarchal, heteronormative world and suddenly stories about men being friends are in jeopardy. Like c'mon, cut the utter bullshit. Lol.

There are only a handful of sane voices in fandoms. Because the rest of them leave and I totally understand why. Hehe. But while you are here, do what you can and then get out. This shit is not good for anyone long term.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/8/2023

theoretically seeing two apartments this afternoon so i am taking the date as good luck

listening

the asteroids galaxy tour's the sun ain’t shinin no more. this was apparently a very famous iPod commercial song? wasn't paying attention to general popular culture when the original iPods were coming out. i would attempt to classify this as somewhere between the doors and smash mouth. spotify.

bitches by tove lo (feat charli xcx, icona pop, elliphant, ALMA). is this a good song? eh. is it fun to scream-sing while navigating through packs of lifted pickups whose hoods are higher than the roof of my moderately-sized hatchback? yes. spotify

how'd i find these? really leaning hard on spotify autogenerated dance playlists these days.

-

reading

normal pair of books to read at the same time

diana biller's hotel of secrets was an odd one. you CANNOT take away from this section "oh tumblr user girlfriendsofthegalaxy hates consent" okay? i don't piss on the poor either. i had to really think about if i thought the sex scenes were jarringly modern and concluded no, they simply challenged my preconceptions of what a single mid-thirties woman in late 1800s vienna might get up to in a time when the best available methods of birth control were french letters. however, the lengthy discussion around consent and boundaries read as somewhat performative and out of place? or like a slightly different tone? than the rest of the actual sex scenes.

in many ways the romance was the b-plot to the hotel's inner workings and the international intrigue, which was fun. i enjoyed the a-plot enough to put a hold on biller's next romance, about a young american window in gilded age nyc. we'll see how that all shakes out!

i did not enjoy and did not finish chris miller's hefty pop history book on the history of microchip production and manufacture. got about a third of the way through. i think i most disliked his approach-- the technical style is very polished, one sentence flows into the next quite well, although we have very different opinions about the meaning of "intuitive" -- but we sit in very different seats watching the american political thunderdome. the way he presents his ideas is a bit jarring, bc it is an almost full-throated and uncritical endorsement of america's cold war diplomatic policies. i think many people would agree with me when i say those policies were not very good.

both of these have been on my holds list for months and i could not tell you the inciting incidents that made me place a hold.

-

watching

in my best friend's endless search for Things to Have on in the Background That Are Semi Child Friendly (or THBTASCF), i have viewed National Treasure (2004, dir. Turteltaub), Rush Hour (1998, dir. Ratner) and Rush Hour 2 (2001, dir. Ratner).

i cannot say i truly enjoyed any of these choices or that they have aged particularly well. national treasure has such an ominous looming of the whedonesque Well That Happened!!! that continues to infect movies.

also rewatched The Mummy (1999, dir. Sommers) bc i wanted a screenshot of the subtitles [YEEHAWING, GUNSHOTS] which is my Texas Adventure(TM) tag, but the subtitles on my pirate movie platform of choice are not that sophisticated. you'll simply have to take my word for it bc my dvd box set is still in storage.

-

playing

mainlining g/enshin impact. did not realize a whole nother goddamn country is being released next week. their every-six-weeks major content update schedule is batshit insane and i do not want to really think about the level of crunch happening over there.

the regions we have so far are legally-not-switzerland, not-china, not-japan, not-india, and we are going to not-france next. it has a real jules verne/twenty thousand leagues under the sea/steampunk vibe about it. look at this whimsical little deep-sea diver boy!

i have not enjoyed this past region (sumeru, legally-not-india) as much as the others. this may be due to the hiccup of seasonal depression i am experiencing. it may be bc this is the most Contiguous Landmass segment of the map and it's less segmented into individual regions than the other countries. it may be bc i have not spent quite as much time running around here as i have liyue (legally-not-china) which does feel genuinely comforting to run around. it may be bc the last time i played this game i still worked in the games industry and i still have residual brain weirdness about playing games.

i do appreciate their dedication to Big Fuckoff Trees tho.

-

making

fallow weeks. things are simply not percolating in time for yeehawgust, due to the agonies, and that's fine, i'm telling myself through gritted teeth.