#i can't write kisses for my life i'm soz

[changqwi]

@v-iciious​  /  another kiss prompt  |  accepting

an angry kiss 😈😘 // for shanjie obvi

            they usually got along with one another  ,  that meaning lir just went along with shanjie’s whims without much of a question  .  but there were times when they disagreed and at times  ,  they were mild  ,  and sometimes  ,  they got explosive  .  both lir and shanjie refused to back down from their stance and it felt as if the two were going to kill one another  --  yet no one wanted to get between them for fear of their own lives  .             this situation wasn’t dissimilar to that . . . though it was edged with worry and concern . . . shanjie was known to be reckless and had a bit of disregard for his own life  .  that didn’t sit well with lir  ,  and when that was brought up . . . shanjie lashed out  --  not in anger but frustration  ,  as if he wanted to hide his vulnerability . . . emotions that sat bottled in shanjie’s heart seemed to pop open with just a simple sentence from lir  .           angry words and things he didn’t mean were said  ,  when things came to a head  ,  the two were close enough to have their breathes mingle  ,  enough to feel each otehr’s breath against their skin  .  shanjie’s grits his teeth and was about to pull back when lir’s hands cups his face and tugs him forward  ;  the soldier stumbles and braces himself against lir  ,  teeth clack together and a brief jolt of pain  ,  but shanjie doesn’t have a chance to pull away  ,  lips upon his own  ,  “  mm  !!  ”  he protests  ,  struggling against lir for a moment  .              as if to anger the other  ,  or try to get lir to let go . . . shanjie bites the other’s lip  ,  it’s all teeth and anger  ,  but it’s all futile or perhaps  ,  shanjie wasn’t all that dedicated in getting away  .  his anger had long morphed into upset and fatigue  ,  only when they pull away does he realize that he’s crying  .  his lips sting and the pain dull as compared to the way his body ached from overwork  .               ‘  don’t . . . don’t do this to yourself  .  ’  he swears he hears a plea edging lir’s tone  ,  an apology that seemed to settle over those words  .  lir’s hands slip from his face and shanjie feels himself yearning for more  .  to be grounded from his thoughts  ,  to be held like he’s worth something  ,  to feel like he’s living  .             this time  ,  it’s shanjie who reaches out  ,  “  don’t . . . don’t go . . .  ”  he begs  ,  pulling lir closer  ,  a kiss  --  hesitant  ,  shaky  --  pressed to lir’s lips  ,  “  i’m sorry . . .  ”  he repeats his apology  ,  like a mantra against the other’s lips  ,  “  don’t be angry with me . . .  ”  his tone made him seem much more child-like  ,  pleading for forgiveness  .  

[more-cardigan-than-woman]

Ok, so I was damaged by Keith urban. But your girl can stick the landing even on 2 Hp. Soz for the dnd references, I'm writing for a campaign at the moment and im very sick.

Everyone say thank you to @harleycao

Tarmac

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, SMUT, in a car, spanks, swearing, running from authority figures, fluff, Pet name (baby girl). No Capes!Au 2.4k Words

"Hurry up, baby girl." Jason calls as you turn to shut the door behind you, his old beat up chevy roaring underneath him as waits for you on the darkened street.

"I'm coming!" You yell back, catching the glare he throws at you as you descend the stairs towards him.

"Your chariot awaits," he says, slipping the door open for you and buckling you into the car, "here take this." He holds out his hand for you.

"Thanks," you give him a little squeeze, "not gunna let you go."

"Never." He whispers, the words drowned out by the rev of the engine as he takes off down the street and towards the lookout

Xx

"Dance with me." You shout over the roar of the planes soaring over you. The airport was your idea, the idea of seeing all the stars as the blinking lights from above shine down on you. The quiet of the tarmac while the light hum of Taylor Swift ringing from the tiny speaker in the car, "please Jay," you pout holding your hand out to him.

"Someone will see us."

"So?" You make grabby hands at him, "plleeaase."

"How can I say no to that face?" He stands up from where he was seated on the hood of his car, taking your hand in his and spinning you around.

"You can't." You smile, resting your hands around his big shoulders as you start to sway together. Slowly moving into the open area of the tarmac as planes zoom above your head.

"God you're beautiful," Jason says, watching as you dance with him. His heart so full as he holds you closer. This, this is all he needs in the world. Just you, dragging him out in the middle of the night to dance in a restricted area so that he can have you all to himself. No need to share you with the other people in your life. Like it's just the two of you in the world, what a perfect world that would be.

"I always liked this song," he smiles so brightly down at you, his hands holding you close at the waist, as he whispers, "can you sing it for me?"

"No, that would be-" you shy away from him. Only for his hands to slip up your back before stopping at the base of your neck, tilting your eyes up to him. There's nothing he adores more than hearing you sing to him, whether it's drunk in a bar or quietly in the middle of the night. He just loves to hear you and know you're near.

"Don't hide, it's just me babygirl. There's no need to be embarrassed. Just give me one bar."

He stares at you with those eyes, his curls falling into his face and just like him you can't seem to say no. So you start to sing, a small whisper of a note as the chorus continues " Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out and take me home

You're my, my, my, my-" He stops you, his lips sealing over yours as he picks you up by the waist, bringing you even closer. 

His hands palm at your ass, his lips taste like soda and mint as his tongue delves into you. Your fingers wind through his hair, needing him closer, somehow inside your skin, in your blood, wrapped into your soul with you. "Babygirl, we should go."

"No, not yet." You break between kisses, "I need more."

"I can give you all you want at my place."

"No, now Jay. Please."

Jason starts to grind into you, gliding your body with ease over his cock that's growing harder by the second, "you need me now?"

"I do."

"Always so desperate for me, aren't you?"

"Always. Please Jason."

"Ok baby, let me just- fuck. Fuck. Fuck." He puts you down, "we gotta go."

"What? Why'd you stop?" You complain, blinking your eyes open to see blue lights flashing in the distance and you register just how far away from the car you've wondered.

"Hurry up!" He picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder, "I do not want to get arrested again."

"Why not? Didn't you enjoy having me bail you out?" You joke, slapping his but as he runs.

"It was your fault I got arrested."

"Was not." You lie, it totally was.

You make it to the car just as the security car stops besides you and two men dressed in white uniforms glare at you. Fuck.

"This is a secure area, you two cannot be here."

"They're not even real cops," you whisper to Jason and the airport security seemed to have heard you.

"Right." The taller one says, "cuff em Jones."

"No need for that officer." You smile in a way that is meant to look sweet, but Jason knows it is condescending, "we'll leave. You can even escort us if you like." 

"Be quiet ma am." The shorter one directs you as the tall one slips the cuffs over your wrists. 

"Not something she can do." Jason jokes as they cuff him as well, throwing you into the back of the hatchback, "don't leave my car out here."

"Jones will bring it to the gate." The man slams the door squishing Jason in the back of the car with you.

"Your head," you laugh, as Jason hunches over in back of their tiny car, glaring at you for getting him into this shit again.

"You're so dead, babygirl." 

"Pshh, you love me." He smiles at that, quickly hiding it behind his pretend glare. Fuck, he loves how absolutely ready for anything you are. And you know, like really know, that he's going to be there, right next to you, getting stuck in the shit with you. How the fuck did he get so lucky?

"This is the second time you've gotten me arrested." He growls, trying not to laugh, "you fucking maniac."

"You love it. You'd be bored without me."

"True, but I'd also be in my car or in my house. Instead of in the back of the airport security car at the fucking airport."

"At least you didn't get a black eye this time." You smile, your hands fiddling with the cuffs behind your back. Managing to get your bracelet undone and use the clasp to pick at the handcuffs, only to find that these are not even real handcuffs. You press your lips together holding in the laugh as you push down on the release button.

"You know what, you're right." He rolls his eyes, knowing that he'd take another one anytime you asked him, "I'm grateful that you didn't start any fights with big biker dude's today. Thank you," the sarcasm bleeding through his teeth.

"I did not start that fight," you huff, wiggling your but to free your hands before shuffling close to Jason so you can free his hands without the man in the front noticing. Only to find that he has already got them off and is just sitting with his hand behind his back, "he was being a creep, that girl, you remem-"

"What are you doing?" He whispers, staring down at you. You smile at him, not stopping your ramble as you light a fire inside his chest.

"-ember the girl. She was so innocent. Looked barely legal. She had no idea what she was getting into." Jason keeps his eyes on the guard while you ramble and he seems bored with your conversation, "her body language was sending all kinds of red flags. Someone had to do something."

"Did it have to be you?"

"If not me, who else?"

"I would've helped."

"You did help."

"Yeah, but not until he had his hands on you."

"So what? I was fine."

"You were not." 

You lower your voice, "are you ready to run?" You raise your voice again, "you have no faith in me, I can't believe this," you pretend to sound angry and Jason, bless him, catches on quick.

"Really?" He shouts, "I'm the bad guy? Me? Who got arrested? God you're unbelievable. It was your idea to come out here!" 

"Well, excuse me for wanting some romance with my boyfriend!" The car comes to a stop and you ramp up the fight. "I can't believe you're blaming me, fuck you. You're unbelievable."

"Here he comes," Jason whispers, eyeing the car a meter away, "big finish baby girl."

"I ruined your life!?" You shout, "thank God," you turn to face the guard as he opens the door, "I need to get away from HIM." Pushing past the guard, you jump out of the car and both you and Jason bolt towards the car, hopping in and taking off into the night.

"Sorry for getting you pseudo arrested again," you whisper into his ear as your hand slips onto his thigh, "I'll make it up to you."

"Oh yeah?" His hands grip the steering wheel as your hands grow closer to the zip on his jeans.

"I can make you feel so good, Jay."

"All that action get you excited?" 

"Maybe." Your lips brush over his neck, your tongue darting out to taste his pretty skin.

"You've got a good start there, babygirl," He smiles slyly, pulling over to the side of the road, "get in the back."

"But-"

"Baby, get. In the back. Of. The. Car." He stares onto your eyes as he unbuckled his seatbelt and climbs his huge body between the seats.

"Such a little bitch," Jason slaps your ass as you slip onto the back seat, "got me arrested again." He grabs your hands, slipping them around his neck before he hoists you up by your thighs as your legs fan out over his.

"Your bitch." You wink, tugging on his hair and bringing his lips to yours.

"All mine." He pushes you down into the worn leather of the back-seat, "How should I punish you, babygirl?"

"I get to pick?"

"I was just wondering aloud, I already know how I want to punish you. Take your clothes off." He commands you as he starts to undress himself, the roof a worthy opponent for his broad shoulders and thick arms.

You throw your dress over your head, leaving it on the front seat. While Jason's jeans and shirt litter the back-seat. "open that pretty mouth for me" he stares at you so hungrily and you want to eat him right back. His fingers glide up your legs, stopping at your pussy as his thumb presses into your clit and pressing your ass down onto his cock, "I know exactly what I want from you."

"What's that?"

"I want," his fingers press into you and he smirks at how wet you are, "I want you right now." He grabs your hips, pushing you up onto his cock and pressing his chest into yours. "I wanna see your pretty face when I fill you up, babygirl."

"Jason," you claw at his back, your legs wrapping over his thick thighs, your hips mindlessly grinding into him, "fuck me please."

"Yes, that's what I want." He nuzzles into your neck, pressing your whole body into him, "say it again".

"Jason fuck me."

"It's so fucking hot when you say it like that."

"Please, I need you."

"Shit, babygirl you got me melting." He slowly fucks up into you, his hands gripping at your hops to hold you steady, "I can't, with this fucking angle. Open the door baby."

"What?"

"You heard me, open the fucking door."

You lean from him, finding the handle as you fling the door on the curbside open. Jason holds you close as he shuffles the both of you off the back-seat before standing. His hands holding you securely against him, "I'm gunna spin you around, you ready?"

"What if someone sees?"

"Noone will see you."

"You promise?"

"Have I ever led you astray?"

'No, I trust you."

"Take that as a yes." He spins you, dropping your knees onto the back seat before plunging his cock back into you, "make it up to me," he holds his cock inside of you, "grind back into me, babygirl."

"Like this?"

"Yeah, just like that." He slaps at your ass, making you moan his name, "Now look back at me with those pretty eyes." He moves faster, his fingers brushing against your clit, "those eyes, that's what I wanna see. You're so fucking beautiful."

"Deeper Jay, I want you all the way in."

"Fuck, not from here. Hold on a sec." Jason scans the road and sees it dead both ways. "Yeah," he eyes the dark and dusty hood of his car, "that'll work." He scoops you up, still panting as he sits your ass on the cold steel of his hood. "How's that baby?"

"Someone is definitely going to see us now."

"Promise they won't, we're the only ones out here. Now, give me those pretty legs." He shuffles you back, lifting your ass off the hood and pulling your legs over his shoulders as he presses them back into your chest, "that deep enough for you?"

"Like that, lips please." You try to move to reach him but you are trapped by your legs. Jason reaches down kissing you as you move together. Your moans of pleasure fill the night air until they grow heavier and heavier. The pace of Jason's fucking quickening. Your climax building with every push in, every breath on your neck and every whispered prayer in your ear. 

You both rush towards the end as you shake and shiver in each other's embrace, your breath getting foggier before ever so slowly lightening up. And you lay crushed under the loving weight that is Jason Todd.

"Shit," he mutters, scooping you up and throwing you in the back as two large beams of light rush towards you.

"That was so fucking close! Let's do it again!"

"You're being very dangerous tonight, babygirl."

"Only with you. I know you'll keep me safe."

"Damn right I will."

Red Hood Taglist

@littleredwing89 @ilikw @bubbles-incorrect-yb @megumisbabymomma @nutmeg030 @gone-batty-fics

@lovelyrissa @igotanidea @parkjammys @princessbl0ss0m

[yuusaris]

Lore dump one of your ygo aus on me 👀

~🦴

So I have - I've mentioned before spoilers don't fucking matter to me so I'm tagging as writing spoilers for those who don't want fic spoilers for whatever reason (mobile has no readmores. Soz)

So, one of the difficult parts - no, fuck it, the MOST difficult part of Body/Life has been determining what kind of demon Bakura is, if only because what would be symbolically cool, thematically appropriate, canon-inspired *and* established by me already are somewhat at odds with each other.

Bakura has somewhat accidentally adapted an association with water (the typhoon from Wedding Soup, the waterfall/pond in Body/Life and the lake Ryou remembers kissing to kiss Bakura, as well as reflections in general) which has a Wisdom association and obviously with reflections, a MAJOR theme of the dtory overall. And snakes align with Diabound and are associated with wisdom, but very few snake yokai exist outside of the tsuchinoko *which IS an awesome fit*.

EXCEPT neither of these are in alignment, to my knowledge so far, with anything invovling eating humans directly. This not even mentioning the ridiculous idea of Bakura and wisdom being somehow in alignment.

And the things that do eat humans don't thematically fit with how ive writte. Bakura at current.

_And_ Zorc is gunna be involved in the fics plotline, as a progenitor, and Zorc, from my internet search history on Japanese ghost stories and yokai, certainly doesn't slot in easily with Japanese yokai or demons. I have books I want to buy and study but the key words here are 'want' and 'to buy'.

So. My. Working. Process. At. Current. Is.

Bakura is a... reconstruction of different parts of different yokai and demons that Zorc has devoured and then - spit up what his stomach couldn't process. Zorc's own oddity can be attributed to that as well, being an odd amalgam of things, but I can afford to be a bit more vague on that due to Zorcs nature and age and that Bakura and Yami (Yami has a B plot in this) likely wouldn't be in the know on that either.

This also give me a LOT of space for riffing to keep Bakura from overpowered - if it's the remnants of what Zorc couldn't process, it's not all of the things that creature could do. Like, so far Bakura's got some jorogumo in there and some tsuchinoko. I can kinda fudge it and say the legs probably gave Zorc the most hell, so Bakura isn't gunna have access to other elements of a jorogumo's body. Snakes shed skin, so I can say maybe those gave Zorc an issue, so Bakura has that body, and the alcohol resistance - but not the venom.

I can keep psychological elements as nature vs nurture as well, the jorogumo relies on being very appealing and alluring (very much what Bakura has done so far) and the tsuchinoko being a proficient liar, and both of those things are good conflict and shows of growth from his marriage with Ryou.

(Yami has been a bit more difficult - he's got his own themes to go through, and I'm still refining it, but in terms of 'themes' so to speak, Bakura's is 'beastly/monstrous' and Yami's is 'structure'.. read a japanese ghost story about a house once and it made me think, yeah, Zorc would eat a house at least once.)

I need to research more, if these are aged demons at all, I need to know as much as I can, but this is also a solid safety net for me if I can't find anything more solid.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Ready for 💔 💔 💔? Jimmy: didn't bring a 🎻 in but there'll probably be a 🌧 about in a bit so go on Janis: Clearly you didn't watch enough back to school hauls to adequately prepare yourself Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: you'll never guess who found her way to the 'how to catch a man' side of youtube though Jimmy: if it's Helena I really am fucking gutted Janis: Unlikely Janis: less she starts making a big deal out of how her MASSIVE TITS are slowly crippling her Janis: 🐰 has gone full 🐰🥘🥣 Jimmy: what the fuck kind of emojis are them? Janis: it's not my fault there's not a decent pot! Janis: also pretend to be gutted or she will be Jimmy: [draws her a lil pot emoji obvs] Jimmy: Who's pretending? 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have to console thinking about Helena's MASSIVE tits Janis: 👏 dead convincing there Janis: like 💀👑 trying to talk her out of it 'cos she's FUMING Jimmy: should've asked me to do the job for her Janis: check your DMs I'm sure she has Jimmy: [sends her some of the hilarious random DMs he has been sent lately like a highlight reel] Janis: the 💦💦 is endless Janis: you're SUCH old 🗞s Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: at least you don't have to waste a load of 💸 on tat for her in a months time Janis: which is the only reason she's decided to get in a VERY committed relationship with a 13-year-old in the year below Jimmy: Tah for the reminder to crack on with this fake break up before then Jimmy: good job our kid's young as he is or I'd have to 🔐 Janis: I'm the one doing the breaking up, remember that first Janis: seriously though Janis: doing my head in Janis: get yourself 💐🍫 if you're this arsed gals Jimmy: 💰 on loads of 'em doing that Jimmy: should probably set up that 💌 bollocks you were on about before Janis: boys handwriting would be invaluable to 'em Janis: can't stop dotting their ❓ with ❤ Jimmy: can write with both hands an' all so it won't even be knackering Janis: show-off Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: just leave your shit chat up lines like that out Janis: dead giveaway Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I know what I'm doing Jimmy: just gotta decide who I wanna send ones that ain't been paid for to for the #drama Jimmy: and whose name I wanna 🖋 Janis: [list of the 'loved up' couples of the moment that ain't them] Janis: stick whoever you wanna see get smacked on there Janis: easy Jimmy: this school have a postbox for it or what? Janis: yeah Janis: any excuse to be cringe Jimmy: I'll make sure yours is MASSIVE, don't worry and a top work of 🎨 OBVS Jimmy: 😘 Janis: my biggest concern, OBVS Janis: if you're still here I can do it the day of for all the 💔 points for you Jimmy: we're all 🤞 Lucas'll get on the roof 💐🍫😍 and fall off but you might have to put up with ✨ pissing out all over you when you open a card from me and nowt else Jimmy: that's your 💔 Janis: looking for broken 🦴s Janis: disappointing but not surprising Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll get on the roof Janis: bet we can Jimmy: let's go then Janis: now? Jimmy: you got owt else on? Janis: obviously not Jimmy: so come on Janis: be easiest to get up there from outside the music room Janis: do you know where that is? Jimmy: direct me Janis: [do that] Janis: wait for me if you get there first Janis: sir is insisting I can't go piss because someone else just did, as if our bladders are connected Jimmy: can't do that to lasses hasn't he heard Jimmy: tell him you're about to 💀💀💀 of toxic shock Janis: sadly raging at him over my blob gives off big angry lesbian vibes Janis: and I don't actually have a bloody tampon to throw at him Janis: I'll just leave in a sec but he's being a twat Jimmy: have to be the fake pregnancy fall back AGAIN Janis: one up Asia's news a bit Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: how long ago were the PE cupboard 💕? Janis: I haven't got a diary Jimmy: 😱😱 It weren't the best day of your life! 😱😱 Janis: best OF the day, how about that? Jimmy: bit rude of Asia to nick your phone Jimmy: I get that she don't want her big day ruined but Janis: 😏 Janis: like she's suddenly a top codebreaker Jimmy: #plottwist Janis: 🤓🤓💕 you 2 Jimmy: you 2 more like Jimmy: her being a dickhead means she likes you, DUH Jimmy: must be what the phone nicking were really about Janis: plottwist, they're all massive gays Jimmy: they're going on about sleepovers whenever I open the group chat Janis: you're that cliche? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: just saying it won't be a massive plot twist Janis: in your dreams, dickhead Jimmy: *nightmares Janis: 👻 do I hear someone protesting? Jimmy: Bill's lurking about loads when I get fuck all 😴 he knows I ain't pissing about wasting what dreams I do have Janis: Nice of him to entertain you Jimmy: you've seen my other offers Jimmy: didn't fancy none of them Janis: Fair Janis: he's got some witty bants at least Jimmy: he does alright Janis: better than the alternatives Janis: if I had a sleeping pill hookup, I'd take 'em myself Jimmy: you wanna watch out on that roof, mate, dunno how he'll feel about such a backhanded compliment Jimmy: steady on, bit rude to all the 🐑 hanging about for you to count, that Jimmy: how many #haters you want? Janis: you can pretend you pushed me if you're worried Jimmy: I 💭 that were the point of going up there Jimmy: no need to pretend owt Jimmy: we'll both be 💀💀💀 Janis: alright Janis: [show up] Jimmy: ['bit awkward if you've found a will to live' said like a saucy challenge] Janis: [just a look like does it look like I have? as much of a challenge as we try to find the way up onto the roof 'cos you know it's not that well hidden or secured] Jimmy: [a LOOK because always but we're also helping not just making intense eye contact forever lol] Janis: [remembering our sims school there was multiple levels so maybe you can get on the second story roof if not the third, anyway, letting you 'cos we can, even if you've got to do some lowkey parkour here, help each other and don't die] Jimmy: [it's a mood so we must, I hope your ribs are a bit more healed boy, don't do yourself further injury please] Janis: [rest when you're up there and we're just LOOKing at you like what now] Jimmy: [lighting up 🚬 for you both and doing heart shaped smoke rings because we're on a vday theme which you can totally show her how to do for some #content while you're up there] Janis: [can only imagine the funny face you're gonna have to pull to achieve that which thank god or it'd be too hot already] Jimmy: [all I can think about is when Liam and Edie were on the roof of that house they were staying in and he said he loved her so RIP me and them] Janis: [oh yes I remember that, soz we killed you guys] Jimmy: [anyway give her whatever doodle you've done today as well so she can have it in person cos I like to think you've not seen each other yet] Janis: [always love that, so much that we have to walk away and be peering over the edge dangerously just to diffuse that situation] Jimmy: [jimothy will probably pee over the edge just cos he can haha] Janis: [boy perks] Jimmy: [and they were talking about going for a piss and stuff like that always makes you want to] Janis: [you can't girl we're not falling off forreal, so hold it and contend with finding shit to throw onto the next roof down] Jimmy: [likewise join in with throwing stuff until there's nothing left and you can take your turn to LOOK at her like what now] Janis: [sharing that intense eye-contact for forever like] Jimmy: [we're not breaking it but we are pulling her closer to us] Janis: [writing 'morning' somewhere on his arm, whether we have to pull up his blazer or whatever to do that, we is] Jimmy: [writes 'good' on her in the same place because it is a good morning now we've seen the bae] Janis: [✔ like same] Jimmy: [teach her how to sign it because why not] Janis: ['we get it, you're good with your hands' 'cos mentioning being ambidexterous earlier and we KNOW so] Jimmy: [😏 and kiss her like excuse you I'm good at this too] Janis: [no room or energy to disagree here hen] Jimmy: [nobody's likely to appear and interrupt you up here lads so just enjoy that alone time] Janis: [we know we're gonna, even though it's January and this is scandalous because duh, how can we not] Jimmy: [you have done and will do way worse so] Janis: [should post those unfy smoking roof pics as we're getting down though so everyone knows you were up there but teachers can't actually prove that you were so] Jimmy: [if the teachers are checking your socials they'll get arrested hens] Janis: [easy mr lucas] Jimmy: [but yeah everyone will be well jel, blatantly gonna be a new thing for everyone to try and go to the roof now] Janis: [have fun getting caught losers lool] Jimmy: [not soz you'll never be JJ and living in a rom com] Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 😇🏹💕 Janis: You got the little nappy outfit ready to go, yeah? Jimmy: #kinkunlocked I get it Janis: 'course Janis: what girl wouldn't be 😍 Jimmy: 💀👑 probably prefers wearing them, THANK GOD she's not my target audience Janis: did she ever fake that she was 😍 over you? Jimmy: and have to put owt in the tip jar? Jimmy: SO funny, you Janis: cheek when she's allegedly the most minted Janis: making Asia make it rain 💦💸 Janis: mad she really don't fancy anyone who's not 50% of her though Jimmy: that'll be how she stays 💰💰💰 Janis: keep it in the family? Janis: 👍 Janis: bit extreme but Jimmy: if it were her only reason Jimmy: but she's OBVS 😍😍🤤 an' all Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: she in your lesson? Janis: Yeah Janis: and #2 Jimmy: What do you wanna do that'll do their heads in? Janis: 💡❓ Janis: all they keep talking about is Asia and her new boyfriend Janis: how do we pull focus from how un-goals that is when we're always 💯 Jimmy: could just break them up Janis: I'm not fucking a 13-year-old and I don't think it's a good look for you either Jimmy: never said we had to do owt with him but get in his head Jimmy: not like it'd be hard to convince the lad she's being a massive slag Janis: true, true Janis: she's only gone with him 'cos she knows he ain't gonna dump her because older girl clout Janis: and she wants the 🎁🎁 Janis: well rude Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: the school therapist'll be after him when Asia's done if Lucas ain't Janis: honestly Janis: only the right thing to do Jimmy: [edits some of the many Mia cheating pics they have to look like it could be Asia but in a pisstakey way because we're literally in class so we can't do it properly but like in a is this worth doing way] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: that's nightmare fuel, for sure Janis: no wonder you ain't sleeping Jimmy: sleep paralysis demon, her Janis: terrifying, poor boy Janis: but she's got way too many pounds on 💀👑 for that to work Janis: 🤔 what if there was somewhere else he'd rather be Janis: no matter how 🔥 she reckons her 🍑 is Jimmy: not gonna get my sister with him now he's been anywhere near her Janis: Not exactly what I had in mind Janis: bit weird your head went there, tbh but still Janis: you wanna throw a party anyway, yeah Janis: why not do it then a fuck over any girl thinking she's getting a romantic date night? Jimmy: bit weird they're the same age @Asia with that one Jimmy: but DUH Janis: she's only 14, being fair Janis: sounding more and more like 💀👑 by the second Janis: obvs it goes against every dating rule she has so she's 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: feels dead wrong to split 'em up if that's what she wants Janis: at least it'd give them something else to chat about Janis: all this 💘 is making me sick already Jimmy: has to be a way to do that any road, it's fucking ages til we can have that party if we're doing it then Janis: yeah, I guess so Janis: well keep 💭 then Jimmy: I were 💭 what's another 🎁 that ain't another desk? Jimmy: any 🥇💡s? Janis: 'cos I just do this shit all the time Janis: I don't know Jimmy: Oi, don't be getting mardy with me, I only asked Janis: well don't bother asking questions I clearly don't have the answer to Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you already do all the drawings and far more shit than any lad they go out with Janis: like the whole point Janis: I don't know how we'd up that Jimmy: I said alright Janis: now who's being moody Jimmy: you Jimmy: that'll be why I'm leaving it out Janis: piss off then Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: nothing, what's wrong with you? Jimmy: you're being a dickhead Janis: how am I? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: let's just drop it Janis: sure whatever lesson you're in is as equally thrilling as mine Jimmy: or just tell me what's wrong Jimmy: 'cause you were alright a bit ago Janis: I'm just Janis: it don't matter Janis: it's fine Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it can be Janis: 🤫 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: come on Janis: it's alright Janis: just everyone else getting on my nerves, as per Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what? Janis: be my mate Jimmy: I am Janis: sorry, alright Jimmy: what were it you said, it don't matter Janis: yeah but Janis: change the subject or something Jimmy: put me on the spot a bit there, dickhead Janis: 😏 Janis: but you're such a natural conversationalist Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can't stop thinking about you long enough to put a sentence together Janis: that's very smooth considering Janis: keep saying things like that, who wouldn't be jealous Jimmy: just how I feel, must not have as many dickheads in this lesson as you Jimmy: ☀ Janis: I'm not not thinking about you Janis: I just don't know what to do about that Janis: maybe less so Jimmy: What do you wanna do about it? Janis: how many lessons you reckon we can realistically walk out of? Jimmy: the rest of 'em Janis: Why are we even staying? Jimmy: we're not Janis: That is the best idea you've ever had Jimmy: I dunno, I reckoned the roof were a decent shout Jimmy: but I get it, soz it took me fucking ages Janis: You didn't get how I felt about the roof? Jimmy: 🤏 Jimmy: might've had some idea Janis: I can show you again but you know Janis: little rude Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Crap with words but there's loads else I can do Jimmy: I were gonna say I heard what I needed to up there but Jimmy: there's loads else I want to Janis: Don't be #overit yet Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: you just want me to 🗨 how not over it I am Janis: so? Jimmy: I already did do Janis: then I must've really meant it Jimmy: you've got nowt to worry about Janis: good Jimmy: Where we going? Janis: We can go to mine if you don't wanna go to yours Janis: or do you wanna go DO something Jimmy: be #goals whatever happens Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: I'm not thinking about #goals even though that's true Janis: I am thinking about how many times I could make you cum on that fucking bus ride Janis: come to mine, no one will be there, so there's loads of things we can do Jimmy: I just meant that bit don't matter but if I were thinking it did before I don't now Jimmy: and you've already sold me on the fucking bus ride so owt else is a bonus Janis: 😁 seems like a bit of a pisstake but Jimmy: it won't be Jimmy: except for the 👵🚍👀 Janis: They go to town at the crack of dawn Janis: shouldn't be loads Janis: but I can make you forget about that as well Jimmy: I don't care if there is loads Jimmy: I told you, I can't stop thinking about you Janis: It's distracting Janis: you are Janis: but fuck this place anyway Jimmy: *you are Janis: you started it Janis: and I'm not sorry Jimmy: I'm not sorry I started it Janis: Good Janis: it's Janis: working for me Jimmy: you'll forget about whatever's doing your head in in a bit Janis: already have Jimmy: come here then Janis: only if you ask again Jimmy: please Janis: 😍 Janis: okay Janis: [run babies run] Jimmy: [I know you only just went back from the hols but fuck school tbh] Janis: [we aren't that bothered ever but truly, you're both smart enough to pass just fine, we got life to be living and love to be falling into] Jimmy: [got a really long bus ride to be extra through soz not soz it's a whole vibe] Janis: [we're about it, and we can show you the actual decent stuff about the cali residence 'cos it's not the place we dislike it's the people rn soz guys] Jimmy: [we all know it's a cool af house even if there are a 10000000000000 cats] Janis: [lmao, at least they gonna be less fussy than Twix so you'll be alright lads] Jimmy: [have a lovely time but probably avoid your room gal since we're not drunk af like we were on christmas eve] Janis: [we know there's nothing there to show it's fine, y'all can chill wherever you want] Jimmy: [love it for you, honestly surprised you ever bother going to school rn tbh] Janis: [only 'cos we clearly can't hang around mcvickers 'cos they're both old enough to be retired even if they're only semi-retired, and you have to take Bobby to school so like, may as well not like you can get extra shifts when they know you're 15 and not out of school] Jimmy: [and it's an easy way to be #goals as they've already proved with the desk escapades] Janis: [mhmm, and an excuse to see each other you so don't need now but you know] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [do we wanna do anything when they are at the gaff etc?} Jimmy: [probably nothing too heavy but if you've got anything you want to happen we can] Janis: [lbr, we know we're being cute af and saucy] Jimmy: [I'm devastated that you can't stay forever as will you be, but at least you'll have a fair while even with the long af bus which is only gonna be fun on the way there unless you're leaving together too] Janis: [you should probably stay gal as the school will call to say you went missing and you'd be better to deal with that rather than have her think you've run away again lol] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: [Gonna be fun going home to Ian, I hope for your sake boy you've got work for a bit first for that reprieve even though it'll probably make him angrier cos you're gone longer] Jimmy: 🥺👋 Janis: [mhmm, like get over it Ian it's one day but ANYWAY] Janis: I wish I could've come Jimmy: and I wish I could've hung about a bit longer Janis: fucking real life, eh Jimmy: nowt'll be more 💔 than if the ☕ start cracking on making themselves and I have to look out for a new way to earn 💰 Jimmy: but I get that you wanna be my fantasy, girl so I won't call it a bit rude that you're 🗨 all that just then were fake Janis: Never happen Janis: they like the fake smile on your face when you give it 'em Janis: not fake Janis: just not 💩 like the rest Jimmy: I'll take all them assurances, tah for not getting too near a compliment Jimmy: thought it were gonna be a bit touch and go at the end there Janis: not to mention the carnage if it was self-service Janis: only afford the steam burns if they're paying you minimum wage Janis: 😘 Janis: shut up Jimmy: not just any dickhead can pull off that many scars Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: 😏 Janis: I get it, you want MORE compliments Janis: not like I just spent all day showing you how hot I think you are Jimmy: or more worthwhile wounds Jimmy: unless you're gonna kick off about there being no more time or space for them an' all Janis: Oi Janis: don't make me sound like that bitch Janis: cheek Janis: 🔪 you any time you like, you know that Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: can never have it in writing too many times Janis: you trying to get me done for not keeping my word? Jimmy: 👮🚔 Jimmy: don't bother going back on it and you'll be alright Janis: should've known Janis: you're all the same Jimmy: can't 🗨 you didn't know what you were getting into, Jennifer Jimmy: 🐷💕 Janis: my dads rolling in his grave Jimmy: still 🤞 you and your fake tan'll put mine in his Janis: I'll put on my nan's accent Janis: turn it up a notch Jimmy: 😂 Janis: or just intro them Janis: he'd feel so #attacked Jimmy: only if you can promise me she'll chuck a bible at him Janis: 🤞 Janis: can't promise much about her but it's 99% Jimmy: it's a date then 🍷🍞 Janis: 😂 Janis: enjoy Jimmy: be PROPER awks if we've misread this and she ends up my new mum Janis: She's still got delusions about being the pastor's wife Janis: she's too nosy to settle down and have her own life anyway, you're fine Jimmy: poor bloke Janis: your dad or father daddy? Jimmy: not chucking any sympathy Ian's way Jimmy: he's always got the full orchestra playing for himself, there's no need Janis: got ya Janis: I'll make it up to him whenever I get 'round the repenting Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: bit of time with me on my knees'll sort him right out Janis: fuck off Janis: we're not sharing Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos I want him Janis: get your own boyfriend, bitch Jimmy: thank GOD Pete'll be in Janis: 😒 Janis: shot myself in the foot there Jimmy: made your 🛏 have to lie in it with the hot priest, you Janis: 😣 😖 😫 Janis: don't be mean Janis: it was an involuntary reaction Janis: being a twin means you don't want to share anything Jimmy: you're alright, I'm more forgiving than him and his mate in the ☁s Jimmy: might let you be my mate again eventually Janis: aaaaand share your boyfriend, yeah? Janis: thanks 💖 Jimmy: be up to him, that Jimmy: but agreeing to having a go at being his lead 🎤's bound to make up his mind Jimmy: the lad he got last time you said no is shite Janis: Oh God Janis: do they play the CG? Janis: 😬 Jimmy: that gonna make you rush in or steer clear? Janis: I'm not sure I can fake the enthusiasm Janis: and yes, that IS saying something, thank you Janis: tell him to 📞 me if they ever start getting paid Jimmy: @ him yourself Jimmy: loads of jobs but none of 'em are as your messenger boy Jimmy: ain't chucked 🗞️🗞️🗞️ about for ages Janis: you're such a slag Janis: called playing it cool Janis: look it up 🤓 Jimmy: look up frigid Jimmy: 🥶🥶🧊 Janis: piss off Jimmy: didn't reckon on that rumour being the one that were true but here we are Janis: don't be a twat Janis: you literally know it isn't Jimmy: still feel free to remind me whenever you like Janis: yeah, really convincing that Jimmy: What, you need MORE convincing than earlier on? Janis: oh, now you're calling me a slag Janis: make up your mind and shut up, yeah? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you planning to leave me with my 💭 this whole 🚍 ride? Janis: I should Janis: but it is longer than the journey to hell so Jimmy: you have left me loads to think about, give you that Jimmy: 🏆🥇 Janis: it's mutual Janis: is an understatement Jimmy: yeah, I felt that Janis: bit rude Janis: every time I think seeing you is gonna get you out of my head Janis: never does though Jimmy: bit rude that you want me out when you've said you've not got owt else on Janis: yeah but I can't be around you all the time so it's just inconvenient Jimmy: I'm not stopping you and my 👻 manager'd have a job to Jimmy: and we've already proved school can't Janis: If you're still there when I've dealt with my ma Janis: could Jimmy: if not you know where else I'll be Janis: yeah Janis: I do have work to do and all though Jimmy: OBVS Jimmy: 🐕's can't 🏃 themselves without the owners getting right mardy Janis: Thank God Janis: can't be arsed to sing for my supper yet Jimmy: after though Jimmy: you can do us a lullaby Janis: you just want me to sleep over Jimmy: Oi, don't make me sound like them huns Janis: 💅💄🍿☕️🧸💖 Janis: you Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: will you hang about if I let you chuck 🧸s about and smack me with a pillow or what? Janis: your nightmare not mine Janis: but as you asked nicely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What song do you want? Janis: 🎶😴 Jimmy: what song do you wanna do? Janis: [list off some hilariously inappropriate lullabies] Jimmy: number 6 Janis: 😏 Janis: thank god the little ones deaf Janis: hate to be a bad influence Jimmy: 🖍👂 were bad enough Janis: mini 💘story is worse Jimmy: but that's nowt to do with us Janis: 'course not Janis: so pure and real Jimmy: be worse if they hated each other like him and Amsterdam, never be able to chuck him anywhere Janis: yeah Janis: and she's annoying whatever she's 🗨 about so makes no odds to me Jimmy: we better start being the NICEST ever to your nan so he can sleep there and not piss on our party plans Janis: that'll involve you not being as nice as you wanna, perv Janis: tone it down Jimmy: tone down your jealousy, Jules, I'll come to your window an' all Janis: She don't fancy you, sorry to break it to you Jimmy: she's not gonna admit it to you, dickhead Janis: She's not gonna be able to fake that with a remotely straight face, more like Jimmy: must be where you get it from Janis: better than you Jimmy: bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: no Jimmy: based on what? Janis: erm, all my performances vs yours, OBVS Jimmy: mine's been as good as yours Janis: hmm Janis: 😂 Jimmy: you're just being a twat 'cause your fit nan 💕s me Janis: and you're just mad 'cos Will wouldn't even cast you as a background character Jimmy: he has done so that's even more bollocks you're chatting now Jimmy: should be chuffed she's not going blind, babe Janis: bit awkward to boot you now Janis: massive head, takes a lot to shift Jimmy: far as excuses go, a TOP athlete like you should have better Jimmy: 🥉 if that Janis: let me start auditions first, arsehole Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: stop it Janis: you're the one being a twat, twat Jimmy: how am I? Janis: Where do I start? Janis: I'd rather just not, as I just said Jimmy: at buying some time before you have a proper go 'cause you know I've done nowt wrong, by the sounds of it Jimmy: but alright Janis: I didn't say you'd done anything wrong Janis: just that you were being annoying on purpose Jimmy: Why would I bother with that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: the answer is I obvs wouldn't Janis: OBVS Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you stop it Janis: I'm not doing anything Janis: so yeah, alright Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: I'd be in the group chat if I were trying to 🗨 in 👍👌🙄 Janis: not my job to entertain you is it Jimmy: I never said it were Jimmy: if you were on the clock it wouldn't be like pulling 🦷🦷 trying to have a word Janis: oh, whatever Janis: I don't like talking, that's not news and it's none of your business Jimmy: and you've heard I like talking to you when you're not being a MASSIVE dickhead Jimmy: give me a clue when that'll be Janis: I've got other shit on Jimmy: and I've not? Janis: I never said you didn't Janis: that was you Jimmy: I'm just not using it as a bollocks excuse to be a twat Janis: I'm not excusing anything, I'm saying you don't know what I do or don't have on, at any point Jimmy: 'cause it's none of my business, you just said Janis: basically, yeah Jimmy: whatever, as you said an' all Jimmy: in a bit Janis: later then Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you're gonna have to leave this some time and I'm gonna have to fix it, well done gal, not leaving it too long though 'cos not that deep so just deal with it, you could still be on the bus tbh lmao] Jimmy: [seeds are being sown and honestly yeah it is a really long bus ride I hope you left yourself enough time boy or you'll be late for work] Janis: sorry, okay Janis: just ignore me, I'm just stressed Janis: you've not done anything Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: how stressed you are Janis: yeah, I know Janis: you don't need that ever Janis: let alone before work Jimmy: @iantaylor8 before I get back, might stop him getting a mard on an' all Janis: He's gonna be raging? Jimmy: when's he not? Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to bits I gave him something to have a go about Jimmy: you talk to your mum yet? Janis: Any excuse Janis: not like we had anything important on today Janis: or ever, really but you know Janis: she won't be back for a bit Janis: just avoiding my sisters in the meantime Jimmy: how many 🐕s you done? Janis: got six here that all walk together alright, get that in before she's back Jimmy: 💰 on my sister not having done ours, you can use that as a reason to piss off when you need Janis: If she ain't seething, might drop me off Janis: save the dog's bladder bursting whilst the bus goes round every fucking street on the way Jimmy: didn't go back at lunch, might already be 💀💀💀 Janis: shit Janis: what time is your dad back? Jimmy: probably will be,  have to check the 👞👟🥾 Jimmy: house'll be trashed if nowt else Jimmy: meant to be 🕠 but it never is Janis: I can leave a note at mine Janis: be there well before he is Janis: only took a day off, say I got that period or whatever Jimmy: not your problem, no need to cause any with your mum for the 🐕's sake Janis: it's not a problem Janis: just replying that I hadn't run away earlier when the school messaged her was more than enough Jimmy: alright Janis: won't charge extra for mopping up piss Janis: didn't think, when I said we should go to mine Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: mop up piss or 💭🐕💔 Janis: you can't, you're already doing a job so Jimmy: he can get the mop out, it were his 🥇💡 to get a dog Janis: may as well though Jimmy: IOU then Janis: nah Janis: 'cos IOU Jimmy: Oi, don't be turning me down Jimmy: any time you fancy having a piss on my floor, I'll sort it Janis: 😂 Janis: thanks Janis: big #kinkunlocked obviously Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I'm allowing it Janis: Well considerate of you Jimmy: sound more shocked, Joanne Janis: I ain't Jimmy: good Janis: you know I didn't mean it Jimmy: What bit? Janis: not wanting to talk to you Jimmy: I got that when you started talking to me again Janis: yeah, alright Janis: just saying Jimmy: what's gonna make you 😁? Janis: Is that what you want? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: not like I've spent ages today trying to do it or owt Janis: I can not be a moody bitch without being 😁 though, honest Jimmy: and I can make you 😁 Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you have Janis: loads Jimmy: it don't matter if your face ain't stuck like it Jimmy: I'll have another go Janis: what about you? Jimmy: What about me? Janis: What emoji do you want me to make you? Jimmy: your fav obvs Jimmy: 🤗 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll do my best Jimmy: I get it, you know Jimmy: what you said before about the rest being 💩 Janis: it just really shows how shit everything else and everyone is Janis: how boring and just Janis: bit of a headfuck Jimmy: yeah and I get it an' all that you have shit you have to do but Jimmy: I meant what I said about you not having to go nowhere Jimmy: my 🏠'll be trashed and the 🐕's a dickhead but you can still hang around whenever you want Janis: I don't though Janis: not in comparison to you, that's just the truth Janis: it just makes me sound pathetic when you put it like that Janis: but thanks Jimmy: shut up, you've got a job same as me Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: I know I ain't gonna hold it over your head that your mum ain't chucking 👶s at you to look after or being a massive bellend all the time Jimmy: what kind of weird 🎻💔😭 bollocks 🏆s is that? Janis: well I knew you'd hate it that's why I didn't say it earlier Janis: I'm just not trying to take the piss with stupid non-problems Jimmy: everyone's got shit, not just me Janis: yeah Janis: and I've got plenty Janis: being stressed about skiving school ain't one of 'em though, it weren't that Jimmy: I never thought it were Janis: I've got a handle on it now though Jimmy: alright Jimmy: made that 😁 challenge even more piss easy for me then Janis: You mad about that or Janis: I can make it harder again easy Jimmy: go on, I ain't 🙀🙀 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 me Janis: 😶 there you go Janis: complete blank slate Jimmy: Tah Janis: Yeah well, all the pressure Jimmy: that meant to be a ✔ or ❌? Janis: it means I'm doing what you asked and giving you an actual challenge Jimmy: that consideration's catching Janis: great Janis: need a cream for that, do I Jimmy: might do if it starts irritating you, like Jimmy: 🤞 it don't react with your fake tan Janis: is red more or less offensive than beige? 🤔 Jimmy: less Jimmy: colour of 🩸🌹💘 Bill's fav, that Janis: we already know he 💘s me Janis: about making your dad 😡🤬 not me Jimmy: already did do Jimmy: nowt challenging about making Ian fuming Janis: yeah but that's what you want me to do and keep doing Jimmy: it's not why I want you to stay Janis: it'd be a bit rude if that was all you wanted me for Jimmy: I just mean he's not the reason I do owt Jimmy: doing his head in gives my sister something to do with her 😡🤬 but he don't matter to me Janis: yeah, it isn't about him Janis: but getting him fuming enough you can all go home is, I mean Jimmy: which ain't even been working Jimmy: as plans go it were never 🥇 Janis: what letter plan was it? Jimmy: you know I can't count, mate Jimmy: dunno my letters either Janis: we don't have to talk about it though Janis: not right now Jimmy: We're here so whatever goes I had at getting him to not take the job or owt I did to try and stop us from leaving didn't work Jimmy: what's to talk about? Janis: you're giving up? Jimmy: never said that Janis: alright Janis: I get it Jimmy: do you? Janis: you either haven't thought out your next step, or I can't help you with it and it isn't my business Janis: either way, don't wanna or have to talk about it now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: not a total idiot, cheers Jimmy: never said that either Jimmy: feeling like one 'cause you had a massive strop is nowt to do with me Janis: fuck off Janis: 1. I didn't 2. Weren't talking about that no more Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you rolling your eyes at me for Jimmy: what you mean you don't get that? Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: wow Janis: nice Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm not staying, pay me whatever you would your sister for the dog Jimmy: I don't pay her Jimmy: @ my dad for his rates Janis: obviously not Jimmy: don't come then, even easier, that Janis: It's nothing to do with you Janis: the dog needs walking Jimmy: not by you Janis: why not Jimmy: why are you SO bothered? Janis: because it's needless and cruel Janis: it isn't hard Janis: and it's literally what I do so just shut up Jimmy: it ain't hard for my sister to do it Janis: is she going to or are you fobbing me off Jimmy: not a 🧠📖 Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I don't need your permission, I'm going round anyway Jimmy: you don't get nowt so don't act like you do Janis: fine, take your 🎻💔😭🏆 and shove it Jimmy: ✔ Janis: so glad you're happy Jimmy: so glad you ain't lost your sense of humour Janis: the gags that I never had one, so where's yours Jimmy: Dunno, maybe you'll find it when you're pissing about at mine Jimmy: places the spare 🔑 has to get left are getting weirder and weirder Janis: I'm just knocking Janis: you might be arsed but doubt your sisters stopping me doing a job for her Jimmy: be about right Janis: be weird id she cared Janis: if* Jimmy: no weirder than you reckoning she'll bother to answer the door Janis: You're being ridiculous Jimmy: that's you Janis: no, it ain't Jimmy: yeah it is, this 🐕💔 being the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: I told you why Janis: not rocket science Jimmy: and I told you why not to, neither's that Janis: I didn't say it was your fault but it's not fair on the dog and you know that Janis: I'm not gonna pretend I don't 'cos you're pissed off with me Jimmy: 📞 the rspca then, be doing me a bigger favour than this bollocks is Janis: if you wanted to, you would've done it yourself Janis: the kid 💕 it and that's why Jimmy: funny way of showing it she's got Jimmy: can't even do something she gets 💰 chucked at her for Janis: yeah and that hardly takes a genius to work out either Jimmy: no need for you to get your head round what's up with her an' all Janis: stop acting like I'm fucking therapizing you Jimmy: stop doing it Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you better walk away gal but we're clearly going to attempt to walk Twix still] Jimmy: [at least he's not there so you won't brawl] Janis: [oh the drama mick] Jimmy: [oh boy, it's not her fault you don't wanna leave dublin anymore, well it is but don't be rude] Janis: [quite literally your fault but that's a convo we're not ready to have yet clearly lol] Jimmy: [a convo we've literally had twice drunk lol lol] Janis: [oh lads, we're literally in such a tiz, thank god you didn't stay home tbh] Jimmy: [don't need to have a blazing row with your poor mother] Janis: [make this Thing an actual Thing™ though that is lowkey the deal in the fam being suspish of you boy but still] Jimmy: [literally don't know how I'm gonna fix this because he thinks he's in the right here, sir your pants] Janis: [like he's not not but we didn't really get what he was saying 'cos neither of you was saying enough/the right things lol] Jimmy: [she's not a mind reader either jimothy] Janis: [fair, we're probably going to go out and get drunk somewhere so I could always come @ you] Jimmy: [good idea because that's not a luxury he has until work is over at least and even then not really because Ian will be throwing his toys out of the pram] Janis: [yeah, like he's really not gonna be in the mood is he but we'll do it anyway, good luck lmao] Jimmy: [how much later are we saying it is like is he at work or has it been ages?] Janis: [well it's fully a monday so like what kind of party would be happening, so it's probably on the earlier side like we're just 'hanging' somewhere and drinking, but by the time we come for you you can probably be leaving work/home like] Jimmy: [makes sense] Janis: are you okay? Janis: what did he do? Janis: can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: I'm not back yet, nowt to worry about Janis: oh Janis: it's not that late Janis: still so dark 🌨⛄ Jimmy: you alright? Janis: yeah Janis: but no too Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't like it when we don't talk Janis: but I'm not dying in a ditch, that's what I mean Jimmy: but where are you? Janis: at the park with some people Janis: not the park, a park though Jimmy: what park? Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I don't know, the one on [some estate he's not going to know gal but anyway, a let's get drunk in parks energy] Janis: it's not that cold, had my coat on anyway Jimmy: SO helpful, you Jimmy: it's not that cold now you're pissed, my dear Janis: That is half the point Janis: idk what you expect me to tell you, it's not like the park has a name, just a bit of grass and some swings Jimmy: I've got a map up 🤞 I get there before you 🥶🥶🥶 Janis: you're coming to see me? Janis: but you're angry at me Jimmy: I'm bringing you ☕ to warm and sober you up a bit, then I'm taking you to your nans Janis: I don't want to Jimmy: you wanna go home? Janis: god no Jimmy: you can't stay there Janis: not all night Janis: but it isn't even late Jimmy: not the point, dickhead Jimmy: I've got enough to worry about without adding you to the list Janis: don't worry about me Janis: I'm just trying to have fun Janis: I'm worried about you Jimmy: bit late for that Janis: 😠 Jimmy: don't you start, girl, I've hung up my apron now Jimmy: already on my way Janis: you can't try to seduce me to change the subject Janis: not that drunk Jimmy: weren't the plan Janis: why you talking like that then Jimmy: what? Janis: like Mias there and you want her to fancy you too Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: daddy 👏 energy 👏 Janis: anyway, literally said you wouldn't distract from the point so sh Jimmy: you Janis: but Jimmy: 🤫 Janis: sorry for caring Jimmy: it weren't what you signed up for Janis: not what you signed me up for, you mean Jimmy: go on, make it sound more like I forced you into something Janis: that's like Janis: the opposite of what I'm saying Jimmy: alright Janis: you keep turning things 'round and it's not what I mean Jimmy: just say what you mean Janis: I am Janis: I'm trying Janis: I just don't want you to get really hurt again but I can't do anything about it Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about it either Jimmy: how do you think I feel? Janis: I can't imagine Jimmy: don't Jimmy: 💭❌ Janis: I were never saying I knew what that was like Janis: I wouldn't Jimmy: not something I want us to have in common Janis: 'course not Jimmy: there you go then, can't have a go at you for not having a clue Janis: you can Janis: or you could just tell me what you do want me to do Janis: or say Janis: or not say or do Jimmy: that'd be taking the daddy energy a bit far, babe Janis: alright, not any other time, tah Janis: just let me fix this Janis: and not fuck it up again Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: there's nowt either of us can do Janis: okay Janis: I know that Janis: but how do I not annoy you about it Janis: because I don't think I can just fake that I don't know Jimmy: I don't have an answer I can just chuck at you Janis: okay then Jimmy: if I did I'd have loads of mates and a real girlfriend, duh Jimmy: that charming and social, me Janis: I'm glad you don't have a girlfriend though Jimmy: me and Bill's 👻 an' all Janis: I've got no friends either Jimmy: Oi, what am I? Janis: I don't know Janis: what are you Jimmy: 💔 RUDE Jimmy: I'm your best mate Janis: my best mate Janis: who I think about every time I cum, alright Jimmy: why isn't it? Janis: just confusing Janis: it can be both Janis: probably Jimmy: don't have to be if we just 🗨 Jimmy: it's been alright up til now Janis: very rude if that's your review Jimmy: shut up, you know what I mean Janis: do you want me to 🗨 or 🤫 Janis: just confused now 😏 Jimmy: I've missed you but if you wanna change my mind about it Janis: no, no Janis: I can behave Jimmy: making promises you can't keep Janis: cheek Jimmy: we'll see when I get there Janis: I missed you too Janis: I don't know what's wrong with me Jimmy: other than being a massive pisshead, you mean Janis: psh Janis: what else am I meant to do Jimmy: you want a list or what? Janis: yes, go on Jimmy: 1. 🗨 to me 2. come 👋 to me and my 👻 manager 3. workshop a 💀💀💀 scene with Bill 4. 🐕🏃 5. @ Lucas or 💀👑's dad for a lift Jimmy: just off the top of my head Janis: 1. we weren't 🗨 2. so I couldn't 👋 even if your manager actually existed 3. he's your mate 4. you definitely didn't want me to do that earlier either 5. just admit you want me 💀💀💀 now like Jimmy: 1. gotta start somewhere, Jessica 2. he were actually about, believe it or not! 3. he is with THAT attitude 4. I definitely don't want you spending all my 💰 either 5. I ALWAYS want to 💀💀💀 you, I've admitted that before Janis: 1. what's this? 2. so sad I missed him/my chance to seduce him for a job then 3. #ladsladslads with him forever 4. only said that 'cos you made me mad and I said for like a five not ALL your 💰 not that stereotype 5. then why are you letting either of them do it instead? Jimmy: 1. but before or instead of getting off your head were the point 2. 💔 for you and him both 3. speaking of, how many lads off that estate am I gonna have to smack before we can leave? 4. you still fuming at me or what? 5. never said I'd let it happen, just that it could do Janis: I'm not still mad at you Janis: it was a solid 60% my fault anyway Janis: I don't even know what we were talking about or then why we weren't, really Jimmy: then how do you know owt were your fault? Janis: 'cos you've explained since Jimmy: I were being a dickhead, it's not you Janis: no, it's alright Janis: you weren't Jimmy: I were and it's not alright Jimmy: you're the only bit that's not shit and taking the rest out on you ain't gonna change them, it'll only fuck this up an' all Janis: I'm not looking to make any of it harder Janis: that's not what a mate should do Jimmy: and I made it loads easier for you a bit ago when I already knew you weren't 😁 Janis: that's really nothing though Janis: stupid high school level shit Jimmy: meant to be cheering you up, that's what I said I'd do Jimmy: not nowt that I did the opposite Janis: okay, but I wasn't helping you none neither Janis: so we can be even Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: am I going to need to come find you? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: um, a really valid one from experience Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I'm not the one who's pissed, tah very much Janis: you exaggerate Jimmy: you take the piss Jimmy: I'm not lost Janis: okay, okay Janis: it'd be rude not to check Janis: you could die Janis: or 🥶🥶🥶 Jimmy: too northern for that bollocks Jimmy: what kind of truce is this? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: have a swing, I'll be there in a bit Janis: someone's hoyed 'em over Janis: so rude Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: never did answer me on how many lads I'd have to 🥊 Janis: Not sure if it was one of them Janis: I'll ask for you Jimmy: 💰 on it being you when you were FUMING Jimmy: trying to blame these poor lads now Janis: 😱 Janis: I WOULD NEVER Janis: pain to get back down, even if your da is like, freakishly tall or something Jimmy: never admit it now I've caught you out, more like Jimmy: know what you're like Jimmy: trying to show off and make the most of your 🦒 perks Janis: yeah, all these lads are SO cool Jimmy: never said it were for them Jimmy: might've been waiting to impress me Janis: well are you impressed? Jimmy: haven't seen the state of nowt yet Janis: you're an idiot Jimmy: yeah 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: then I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ? Janis: Would it make it better or worse if I come back to yours Jimmy: better this time, worse the next Janis: What would you rather I do? Jimmy: you know the answer to that Janis: but are you sure Jimmy: are you? Janis: I'll be fine going to my nans, for me Janis: I don't know what's better for you Janis: yeah, I can delay it now, or let it be less tonight than it COULD be Janis: but neither of those feels good Janis: so I just wanna do what you want Jimmy: so stay Janis: okay Jimmy: okay Janis: we could get rid of him the old-fashioned way Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I'll get lost Janis: seriously Janis: how hard can it be Jimmy: piss easy if you don't care about the bit where you get caught Jimmy: how you gonna walk my 🐕 from prison? Janis: well that's why we do it properly Janis: just need to do the groundwork Janis: keep slyly telling any nosy neighbours you're moving back soon because he's lost his job, so they don't @ him Janis: then backdate a resignation letter to send to his work Jimmy: then what? Jimmy: can't actually piss off back up north without the dickhead Janis: well, you could, ferry is well cheap Janis: what you'd do when you get there is another issue Jimmy: keep dreaming, baby Jimmy: it's never gonna happen Jimmy: you're stuck with me for a bit Janis: I don't want you to leave anyway Janis: not my dream Jimmy: what'd you bring it up for then? Janis: you could stay and we could kill him Jimmy: we'd be prime suspects Jimmy: and they'd take the 👶👶🐕 off me Janis: nah, 'cos if we sort work and your neighbours and move you in with me who's looking Janis: 💡 Janis: see Jimmy: your whole family'd be 👀🍿 Jimmy: and your 🐕 best mate'd be eaten by 🐈🐈🐈 Janis: hardly Janis: 2 of my sisters got married before they were 20 and one of 'em is dead Janis: can't say nothing Janis: don't fight how much sense it makes tah Jimmy: you're so Janis: fucked up? Jimmy: not what I were gonna say Janis: they are Janis: try and distance myself from it but Jimmy: if we were judging each other by our family I'd come off loads worse Jimmy: no tah Janis: no need to have the competition Jimmy: 'cause you're losing Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 🏆 goes to me Janis: nope no no no nah Janis: you have no idea and you don't need it Jimmy: alright, stop going on about it and 🗨 something you want me to know Janis: 😳 Jimmy: go on Janis: bit on the spot, like you say Jimmy: but you're 💭 about something or you wouldn't be 😳 Janis: too bad you're not a 🧠📖 Jimmy: just have to read your body language instead Jimmy: [show up sir] Janis: ['scuse us random park people, biggest run and hug ever] Jimmy: [holding onto her for the longest time and we're not sorry] Janis: [lowkey like don't cry gal, so overwhelmed and drunk dangerous combo here] Jimmy: [gal we know all about trying not to cry Imma get you out of here asap] Janis: [not letting you say anything intelligible yet] Jimmy: [it's fine we're totally picking her up so we can leave] Janis: [soz not soz to the lads who clearly thought you were about to get off with them or something] Jimmy: [bye bye boys have fun] Janis: [hope you're near enough to his lads 'I'm really sorry'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' cos it is and snuggling her as we carry her like] Janis: [sighs 'it's not' but we mean everything else so we're snuggling him back even harder Jimmy: [kissing the top of her head like yeah it is] Janis: ['you're the loveliest, that's what I want you to know'] Jimmy: [clearly 😳 about this because not what we expected her to say but we're also doing a little genuine smile so] Janis: [just softly stroking his cheeks though you probably can't even see in this light/state we just know, about to blurt something about but just about catching ourselves 'tell me something then'] Jimmy: ['are you gonna remember it?' cos we gonna catch ourselves too before being too extra] Janis: ['yes!' indignantly like how dare you, nudging him like go on 'I'll tell you another if you do'] Jimmy: ['alright, one thing I want you to know is how much this means' keeping it deliberately vague as if we're just talking about the Ian situation because we clearly aren't lol 'to me that you-that you're-' still not finishing our sentences though soz about it] Janis: [squeezing him wherever you're holding onto him, but gently please let's not fall and die here although 'I love you' not leaving like a sec here 'like I care about you, you know' and how rushed that last bit is like and I oop] Jimmy: [we've straight up died so whatever we say back is too muffled to understand because we're hardcore hiding in the bae and also using our softest voice ever] Janis: [casual panic happening in silence here but we move, meant it and can't take it back so at least you're drunk enough that you can't really try to run away rn] Jimmy: [lifting our head when she moves because we think she's gonna try and run away and that's a hard no from us 'always gotta one up me, you' but we're still using our soft voice so you know it's not a pisstake 'not gonna win the awards against you but I care about you an' all'] Janis: [shrugs like yes, that's what it was, of course 'just that good'] Jimmy: ['I know' giving her 😍 as we say it because we mean it] Janis: [going in for a makeout moment] Jimmy: [allowing it because he also meant it when he said he missed her and the feels are too high not to even though she's drunk and he's obvs not] Janis: [it's fine, we know we're being extra with it because we are drunk so it's not like you've got it wrong boy] Jimmy: [we're being extra too cos we're in our emotions and I don't trust you to speak rn sir, always makes me laugh like how far have we even gotten away from this park] Janis: [seriously, like you already said it girl you better stop lmao, I hope far enough that we're not giving a free show, also you're nearly at his but probably not knowing y'all] Jimmy: [hope you're at least off this estate so we're not getting whistled and shouted at by chavs cos that'll really ruin the moment] Janis: [like get that you're both in this moment but there's only so much you can ignore really] Jimmy: [I'll make it rain or snow if I have to lads so that'll move along, don't test me] Janis: [least you're gonna have some urgency by how hard we're going rn 'cos no shame] Jimmy: [an incentive to get home is very much needed cos Ian will be a delight] Janis: [I'm like gal do not speak that could be disastrous] Jimmy: [going upstairs immediately for all the reasons] Janis: [can't come for Ian and his life, it'd be amusing but make everything worse so not rn, in that bed tah] Jimmy: [we'll give you other opportunities gal but this is not the one] Janis: [not when you're drunk, not gonna be witty, just like fuck you bitch] Jimmy: [it's gonna be ages before you get back anyway cos we know y'all will keep stopping, never any chill] Janis: [we all know it, there is no chill now or ever] Jimmy: [hence I am making you walk, not letting you anywhere near a bus or anything rn] Janis: [do we wanna skip to being at his or to the AM or quoiiiii] Jimmy: [good question, we can probably skip to later at his because you can't avoid Ian forever, even if we're kind and say he's not around when they first get there] Janis: [what's your vibe like is he gonna come in and make Jimmy come out to talk or ambush him like what's the tea sis] Jimmy: [I feel like Jimothy's gonna have to go make tea at some point because it's his love language so he'll probably get ambushed in the kitchen then] Janis: [ugh SIR] Jimmy: [is nothing sacred you bitch, but at least she'll be upstairs so she can't brawl him and Twix will run up cos she will be scared so that'll distract you gal] Janis: [like if we heard brawling ourselves we would come down but I'd like to hope you're keeping it to shouting rn, have some shame dickhead, just look after this baby dog] Jimmy: [I would hope he is just shouting because he's that dickhead that wants to appear like he's not one and like what's to stop Janis telling literally everyone including her social worker nan so] Janis: [right, even if you think she's trash, I don't think you're being that dumb with it ever] Jimmy: [shamelessly just gonna bring the bae tea and biscuits as if that didn't happen] Janis: [trying not to be like !!! but we're also not gonna pretend as hard, patting the bed like come here] Jimmy: [obvs we do and do a feelsy lean when we're there cos we both need it] Janis: ['really wants Lucas to like him' because we know there's fuck all we can actually say to be of use, but we're tucking him back in and cuddling him] Jimmy: [a little lol because 1. funny 2. not what we expected her to say 3. relief that she hasn't said something that'll make it awks and that Ian didn't kick off any harder/try and kick her out] Janis: [equally small smile 'cos we love to see it but we do not love the rest of this situation so we're not buzzing obviously] Jimmy: [draw it bigger with our fingertip because we've remembered our 😁 challenge] Janis: [write LOL on him like okay, whilst we're here let's sort that out] Jimmy: [do some !! on her like epic lols please] Janis: [go to tickle him like it can be arranged] Jimmy: [obvs tickling her back like excuse you it's meant to be you doing it] Janis: [we are loling but still trying to tickle him and get him too] Jimmy: [never far from a playfight which I love for you and also I imagine that Twix is probably still around so joining in] Janis: [don't bark gal or do because we don't care about you Ian but bit rude to Cass, just pinning him and being like 'my offer still stands' which like, explain yourself but we're not lol] Jimmy: [also don't spill that tea or crush those biscuits/ let Twix get either of them while you're living your best life, obvs giving her a look like ?] Janis: [my boo always so concerned about the tea situation, runs a finger along his throat and looks meaningfully at the door like you know who] Jimmy: [I am and I'm not soz boo, but jimothy meanwhile is gonna just give you a lovebite/go over an existing one on your throat gal like I'd rather just kill you thank you] Janis: [doing the opposite of complaining about it] Jimmy: [taking the encouragement and going harder as a result of it duh] Janis: [when you can't breathe casually, pulling him closer into us 'please'] Jimmy: [kick that dog out so she doesn't cockblock you soz Twix, casually looks like you're like nope and leaving] Janis: [Twix is probably 🥺 but we definitely are x2 🥺🥺] Jimmy: [don't worry we're running back immediately to kiss you INTENSELY] Janis: [getting in his lap, duh, and looking at him for ages 'lovely' like yes, I was correct] Jimmy: [putting his finger on her nose like he's pointing at her cos no you] Janis: [grabbing the finger and then we're holding both his hands 'how am I going to make you happy?'] Jimmy: ['you already have done' because true that we've already forgotten about Ian's bullshit lbr cos we're in love] Janis: ['I could do better' 'you deserve better'] Jimmy: ['you just wanna take the challenge off me' because we can't even deal with our emotions over her saying that] Janis: ['I just wanna-' and kissing him again like let me show you] Jimmy: [a very enthusiastic response in all the ways possible because same] Janis: [have your moment kiddos, cannot express how much she's calling him baby] Jimmy: [cannot overstate how into that he is and will forever be] Janis: [being a perfect combo of intense but soft rn] Jimmy: [Cass gonna wish she was deaf too, first Ian shouting and now this lol] Janis: [thank god for headphones gal soz still not gonna be our fan for a while lol] Jimmy: [she's really not cos already had to dump Bobby on her when we had work then had to find Janis and now all this is shamelessly going on, soz gal] Janis: [it's fine, we'd hate us too in your position and we will win you 'round in the end] Jimmy: [I'm sure Jimothy will also do something to make it up to you cos he's just that bitch even though he's fuming at you for not walking Twix ever] Janis: [lowkey don't deserve it but you lucky gal and not shading you too hard] Jimmy: [we all know you're strugging rn gal it's okay] Janis: [not helping your brother but this isn't meant to be your job any more than it's meant to be his] Jimmy: [and we'll let you get your bf and friends soon and then you can walk Twix together] Janis: [and you'll be happy, despite the fact you go back up north, that's your business hen] Jimmy: [what if he sends her a valentine and that's what starts this lil otp] Janis: [that would be very cute do it] Jimmy: [like idk if he goes to your school or if he's putting in through your door or if he even signs it but we know bitch] Janis: [we should be nice and say he goes to your school so you have company but it should be a ? 'cos that's cute, I've only ever got one of those and it was from nannie haha] Jimmy: [I've derailed us but yeah that felt like a nice thing to happen amidst all the drama] Janis: [hohaha you'd be so embarrassed gal, be nice Jimothy aka shamelessly tease her] Jimmy: [simply must] Janis: [but yes, we're probably good for tonight unless you really wanna 'round 2 Ian] Jimmy: [do you wanna do the am?] Janis: [sure ting honey, it's a tuesday, so you'll be having to get Bobby ready for school and Ian will be gone so that's good] Jimmy: [leaving the bae in bed while we do our big brother duties but we will be bringing you breakfast gal you know it] Janis: 👋😪 Janis: you want any help? Jimmy: did I teach you the signs for hurry the fuck up? Janis: 🤔 Janis: [clip of her doing the thing where you gesture towards yourself frantically like LETS GO] Janis: ? Jimmy: that'd do Janis: does he know I'm here? Jimmy: he'd have come to ask you loads of questions about his missus if he did Janis: 💔 ouch Jimmy: if you fancy jumping out at him, the 🐕'll give you a hand knocking him about and getting his attention Janis: I'm not that offended Janis: be a bit rude Janis: plus if your sister knows I'm here, she definitely wants to see me even less Jimmy: but I might want to Jimmy: bit rude of you not to think about that Janis: Please Janis: I think about you ALL the time Janis: and you've seen a lot of me lately Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: me and the 🐕 are having a 💔💪🏆 Janis: she's FUMING at me Janis: I went to the bathroom and she was giving me 🔪🔪👀 Jimmy: the 🐕 or my sister? Janis: 🐕 Janis: your fault Janis: haven't you noticed her 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Jimmy: Oi, nowt to do with me, I never said you went to the park without her Janis: you kicked her out Janis: I remember Janis: also she was scrapping at the door Jimmy: not my fault you never said that were a kink of yours Jimmy: should've if you wanted her kept in Janis: shut up Janis: I said she was mad, not me Jimmy: she'll get over it once I sort her breakfast out Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: for 🥞🧇🥓🍳 or in life in general Jimmy: obvs to eat, dickhead Jimmy: but if there's owt else I can do an' all, go on Janis: cheek that you don't wanna know all about my ambitions and dreams in the morning Janis: @ the gals with that relatable content Jimmy: I LITERALLY just said tell me so that's bollocks Janis: woe is me 😉 can't hear you over all my 😭 Jimmy: poor baby Janis: are you going to school today? Jimmy: are you? Janis: haven't got my uniform Jimmy: you can borrow my spare if that's the only thing putting you off Janis: school is always off-putting Janis: but didn't know if you were gonna go in to shut him up Jimmy: if it were that piss easy I might do Janis: yeah Janis: I'll come in, if you are Janis: I usually have mine in my bag but I left that at home when I went out last night, for some reason Jimmy: probably weren't planning on going, we still don't have to Janis: what do you want to do? Jimmy: if we don't go? Janis: well I meant are we going or not Janis: but go on Jimmy: whatever is the most #ultimategoals bollocks we can think of, duh Janis: do you reckon any of them have heard of bed peace Janis: 😴😴😴 Jimmy: will have once I'm done 📷🥇 Janis: you're gonna koala onto the side of me? Janis: you're basically scouse, yeah 😏 Jimmy: unless you fancy making another fort downstairs, been ages since the last one Janis: just say you want to babe Janis: I'll get started whilst you're taking him in Jimmy: only thinking of you 🦒 Janis: it's a bit of a squeeze Janis: stretched out rn though Jimmy: very subtle Jimmy: I won't hurry back Janis: 🥺🥺 Janis: fine Jimmy: make up your mind, girl Janis: you know what I want Janis: read my mind, boy Jimmy: I miss you an' all Janis: compared to the school run, I'm a delight, obvs Jimmy: but hang on, some of them yummy mummies really dress up so you've got a bit of competition Janis: you have fun with that then Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 OBVS Janis: you're gross Janis: and I'm going back to bed Jimmy: actual 🤞 you don't 🤮 in my 🗑 Janis: I ain't even hungover Jimmy: 'cause I came and got you before you could get too off your head Janis: you act like you've never done it Jimmy: never said that Janis: What, then? Jimmy: nowt 🤐 Janis: why'd you come though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: why can't I ask? Jimmy: what's it matter? it's done now Janis: alright Jimmy: there's 🗨 you can read before I did Janis: that would require reading my own 🗨 Janis: I'd rather leave it 🤐 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll take the dog out Jimmy: what happened to going back to 😴? Janis: I'm not sleepy Jimmy: tah then Janis: no worries Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it doesn't need to be weird Jimmy: what? Janis: ➡️ ⬅️ ⬆️ ⬇️ ↗️ ↘️ ↙️ ↖️ Janis: this Jimmy: you're the one calling it weird to say it don't need to be Janis: I'm just saying I don't wanna start up the whole thing again, that's all Jimmy: that's alright by me Janis: okay Janis: ignore me Jimmy: I don't want to ignore you Janis: okay, don't, but I mean Janis: I'm not trying to be a dick Jimmy: I'll give you a 🏆 if you manage it Jimmy: 😏 Janis: fair but fuck off 😂 Janis: not going for 😇 fake gf Jimmy: what you going for? Janis: 😈 DUH Jimmy: you can have that 🏆 Janis: I'd fight you if you disagreed on that Jimmy: no need as it's fake Jimmy: I'll agree to owt as long as it's on brand Janis: that ain't fake Jimmy: last night it were Jimmy: SO nice you 😇🏆🥇 Janis: that was mate stuff Janis: not fake gf Jimmy: let's just be mates today then Jimmy: I'm 🥱😴 if you're not Janis: subtle way to say just be nice to me all day Janis: but alright Jimmy: I'll do it back, not that much of a dickhead Janis: doesn't sound terrible Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: 🤝 Janis: and I could sleep, so don't need to worry about me creepily watching you and/or stealing all your shit whilst you 🥱😴 Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: you've had loads of chances to do both before now Janis: gain your trust first, not an amateur Jimmy: and what, you reckon you have? Janis: yep Janis: like you said, could've easily done both by now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oi, are you saying I haven't? Jimmy: I said I weren't bothered about you thieving or 👀 at us 😴 Jimmy: don't mean I trust you, mate, just that I've got nowt worth nicking and don't reckon I'm 🎨 Janis: Psh, that's a blatant lie Jimmy: which bit? Janis: not reckoning you're 🎨 Janis: you and your massive head Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: if that weren't bollocks I'd be my own muse Janis: selfies aren't #art Janis: that's the truth, pretentious hipster Jimmy: take one and watch the fans disagree Janis: you do the same Janis: you know what you look like Jimmy: [obviously does because no fucks given ever] Jimmy: there you go then Janis: see Janis: you're Janis: your DMs will 💥 'cos I'm not in it Jimmy: have to take loads with you in Jimmy: good job you're not hungover Janis: I've not seen myself yet Janis: could be 👹 Jimmy: 📷 Jimmy: it's your go Janis: [a bed selfie where you clearly look good 'cos when do you not, bitches be mad] Janis: demanding, you Jimmy: if I were next to you there I would be Janis: 😳 Janis: rude to say that and not be Jimmy: I thought it'd be ruder not to 🗨 soz Jimmy: taking our 🤝 dead serious, me Janis: speechless is a bit far Jimmy: Dunno you might reckon the nicest thing I can do is shut up Janis: nah Janis: I've told you loads I don't mind it Janis: your 🗨 Jimmy: [a voice memo that's full of compliments about that selfie because of course] Janis: I already missed you Janis: you had to make me admit it, didn't you Jimmy: weren't why but I'm not fuming that you feel the same as me Janis: you shouldn't be allowed out of this bed Janis: s'what I reckon Jimmy: we can stay there long as you want Janis: ⛓😍 Jimmy: be like Lucas is about Jimmy: no need to go to english Janis: yeah, smart to mouth off to your captor Janis: think on Jimmy: #thickandnorthern Jimmy: you have been warned before Janis: damn, I thought you said thicc Janis: misled Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 for you Janis: yeah, pretty gutted Janis: you'll do for now Jimmy: til you @ some fatter northern dickhead Janis: have to change my tinder location Jimmy: not much of a #kink since you ain't even offered to make me owt for breakfast Janis: those are perks you've not even fake unlocked Jimmy: or answered what you want Janis: surprise me Janis: I'll get you something on the way back with the dog Jimmy: already outted yourself as not a real feeder, no need to follow through on it Janis: you don't like surprises...? Jimmy: you heard that I don't trust you Janis: it's breakfast Jimmy: it were you who asked the question Janis: alright Janis: your loss Jimmy: I do like surprises from you, the 🎄🎁 were good Janis: You ain't bad either Janis: no 🎅 shithead Jimmy: 💕 Janis: dunno how I'm gonna top it Jimmy: got ages before you have to Jimmy: not expecting THAT 🥇 of a breakfast, like Janis: wait and 👀 boy Janis: 💪🏆 Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I get it, you want me to have to compete with whatever 🍳🍞☕️🥞🧇🥓 I'm knocking up for you Janis: How else will you learn, babe? Janis: or maybe I just wanna do something nice, dickhead Jimmy: what's 🐕🏃 if not that? Janis: nothing new Janis: feel like that's all I friggin do Jimmy: who 🗨 it had to be something new? Jimmy: not 🥱😴 of you Janis: **because I keep you on your toes Jimmy: you're still about, that's all I want Janis: tah Janis: proximity is your biggest selling point as well Jimmy: 👏 @iantaylor8 for pissing about in this shithole instead of the one he was born in Janis: I'll @ my grandparents whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant you being at my 🏠 still but alright Jimmy: if they wanna take a bit of credit for that, you did say you didn't wanna go there Janis: already rude you have to split it 50/50 with your dad so Janis: not technically their fault, even if they'd hardly be happy I got pissed on a school day Jimmy: bit rude you didn't save me any tbh Jimmy: but not a surprise so I can't be fuming about it Janis: weren't my alcohol Janis: you could've hoe'd for it like the rest of us Jimmy: read the room a bit and they weren't chuffed to see me 💔🎻 Janis: awh babes Janis: 😞😘 Jimmy: your fault that you were, could've toned it down 🤏 and let me have some mates Janis: excuse me, you weren't hanging about to chat neither Jimmy: convenient that, you chucking the blame back over here Janis: you could've chucked me back if you were actually arsed Jimmy: might've been a good shout but I had a look and none of 'em were as fit as you Janis: now THAT'S a compliment Jimmy: take it then Janis: How can I? Janis: so overwhelmed you fancy me more than a bunch of greasy 16 year olds in tracksuits Jimmy: you're in the right place to have a lie down, you'll be alright Janis: OBVIOUSLY I prefer to swoon directly into your arms but Janis: have to do Janis: long as you reckon I'm dead when you get back and top yourself Janis: 😩🤤 Jimmy: Bill wouldn't have owt else Jimmy: trying to get this ☕☠ as we 🗨 him Janis: he's so thoughtful Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [bring her whatever adorable breakfast you've made before she gets out of bed because we know what this gal is like] Janis: [shamelessly giving you a massive smooch like you're gonna be gone forever] Jimmy: [it will feel like forever and we all know it, also shamelessly doing a little photoshoot so his dms don't blow up and obvs no other reason like she's the cutest ever] Janis: [so domestic, so cute] Jimmy: [the effort to tear himself away I lol you'll be right back sir] Janis: [and we all know you're not going to school so like, you have all day kids, god bless] Jimmy: [too in love] Janis: [bet Mia will make one of the gals dob you in] Jimmy: [she blatantly will, that snitch] Janis: [like get over it henny, why have you got nothing better on] Jimmy: [your jealousy and bitterness is simply not bringing us down rn hun] Janis: [we're already in trouble and don't care so like, what do you think you're achieving] Jimmy: [you're just annoying Grace even more than you already do gal, sadly she has not yet yeeted and we will have to endure the notp of her and Harry] Jimmy: [jimothy meanwhile is living his best life sending the bae pisstakey pics of these mums on the school run] Janis: ugh, put your tongue away Jimmy: @ the 🐕 Jimmy: nowt but 😎🖍 here Janis: well that was SO 🤓 so Janis: speak for yourself, not him Janis: dragging down his playground cred Jimmy: alright 😒🌧 then Janis: you'll get all the single mums that ain't learnt their lesson after you then Janis: sensible ones trying to tempt away the nice male teacher or one of the active dads Jimmy: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: Asia's mum Janis: She would Janis: you should, at least make Asia fuming Jimmy: see if I can convince her to 🔒 our kid's BFF in a cupboard or some bollocks an' all Jimmy: send her off to wherever the fuck she's named after Janis: must look up to the 💀💀s more that one Jimmy: must take after Asia with her 🧠 AND 🦷🦷 Janis: Poor little fuckers Jimmy: should have the full orchestra hanging about on this school run Janis: right? Janis: it's well depressing Jimmy: 💔 you ain't trained the 🐕 to take him to school for us Janis: soz she still needs a babysitter herself, like Janis: she'll be out of the puppy stage soon-ish and less of a handful but Nana is still a bit of a 💭 Jimmy: convenient excuses them, Janet Janis: 😒 Jimmy: *😏 Janis: I thought you were trained better than this, tbh Jimmy: said as you're having breakfast in bed Janis: you're saying I should be telling you how grateful I am rn? Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: Hmm Jimmy: wind your 🦒 neck in Jimmy: I'm being nice Janis: Charming as ever 😂 Jimmy: [writes some v charming and extra post like there you go] Janis: it's gross yet impressive how fast you can turn it on Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: post about how fast you can turn it on would seem a bit cheap rn Janis: I'll be more 💕 too I GUESS Janis: [post it bitch] Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: now give me what the 1st draft were Janis: [something way more 🔥] Jimmy: you been holding out on me this whole time or what? Janis: can't distract you from your duties/milf hunting Jimmy: you've just proved you can Janis: alright, shouldn't Jimmy: why? Janis: because you're having SUCH a good time already Janis: what kind of mate? Jimmy: a TOP one, duh Janis: you haven't been that nice Janis: 💔 Jimmy: how have I not? Janis: aforementioned milfs Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I'm sending those pisstaking 📷 of them but I'm looking at the ones of you Janis: Jealousy isn't cute, I get it Jimmy: whatever you do is cute, every dickhead gets that Janis: you're not every dickhead Janis: and I'm not that bitch Jimmy: and the kind of dickhead I am is alright with who you are Janis: ew Janis: 🤫🤫🤫 Jimmy: Oi Janis: we don't do mushy Jimmy: calm yourself down, I'll chuck a pillow at you in a bit or some bollocks Janis: I'll start an argument if you like Jimmy: has been AGES since the last one Janis: 👍 Janis: so much fun Jimmy: for Bill, I'd be chuffed to leave it out with the #drama Janis: unlucky Jimmy: for you, not being able to compete with Ian when it comes to having a strop Jimmy: I'll live Janis: fuck off Jimmy: this you starting the 🥊? Janis: you'd know if it was Janis: so no Jimmy: 👍 Janis: let's not Janis: I can't be arsed to go into school Jimmy: you know I don't wanna fight with you Janis: then we're not Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I'm capable Jimmy: never said you weren't Janis: you don't need to when you keep calling me stroppy like I'm Libi's fucking age Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Jimmy: call me what you like Janis: not feeling the 🤤 now soz Jimmy: 💔 Janis: isn't it just Janis: me and the 🐕 are out, if you rush, the bed will still be warm-ish Jimmy: 🏃 Jimmy: how much food she nick off you? Janis: erm she had to wait patiently until I was done Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: can't help being dominant Jimmy: send tweet Jimmy: I'll get one of the 🎻 to play for you Janis: for you Janis: 🥈 Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: ask Lucas, under me is EXACTLY where you wanna be, dickhead Jimmy: I'll @ him while I'm waiting for you Janis: better than the milfs Janis: he can't come 'round and seduce you Janis: #doubleenglishfirstperiod Jimmy: have to use his words Janis: if that's a hint Jimmy: for him that he can't half arse this just 'cause he's got one of Bill's classics to teach Janis: good luck Janis: he's way more touchy feely, despite the job title Jimmy: tah babe 😘 Janis: what's your angle Janis: besides being 2nd choice to me Jimmy: don't need one Jimmy: it's just that REAL between us, obvs Janis: 👌 Janis: what a nice change Jimmy: gotta have something to do when you're pissing about with this 🐕 Janis: thought you were 🥱😴? Jimmy: thought you promised me breakfast Janis: You can't nap and leave me to it? Janis: got loads of fantasies to be cracking on with, nothing else Jimmy: too excited, me Jimmy: you proper talked up how 🥇 it were gonna be a bit ago Janis: ✊💦 help you finish Janis: what a morning you're having Jimmy: don't keep you about for nowt Janis: aside from the fact I allegedly wouldn't go home Jimmy: it weren't like I were gonna make you Jimmy: or wanted to Janis: cheers Janis: if I was gonna argue with anyone Janis: better be you Janis: sorry Jimmy: we called a truce, you weren't allowed Janis: right Janis: be a bit rude to Jimmy: and you've got nowt to be sorry for Janis: I remember what we actually did Janis: so I know Jimmy: no hangover, not even that much of a pisshead in the first place, yeah I heard Janis: okay Janis: I know I was a bit Janis: not the end of the world Jimmy: not having a go Janis: thank god Jimmy: meant what I said Janis: what part? Jimmy: all of them Janis: nice and specific Janis: but okay Jimmy: alright, specifically not being a massive dickhead to you Jimmy: today at least Janis: don't worry Janis: you're never that bad Janis: not 🥇 anyway Jimmy: that's bollocks but sounds like 🥊🗨 an' all so I'll leave it out Janis: you reckon you're Ian levels of 🤬? Janis: nah Jimmy: there'd be a massive scale between him and me Jimmy: don't mean I weren't a twat to you before Janis: well you are a dickhead, don't need to apologize for who you are, like Janis: you're my mate, yeah Jimmy: your best mate, keep having to tell you Janis: I've still got the necklace Jimmy: be a bit rude if you'd chucked it Janis: don't just wear it when you're about Jimmy: don't just use my lighter when you are Janis: Your habit is pretty extensive Jimmy: 🚬's dead addictive, you not heard? Janis: 😱 Janis: and you let me have some Janis: wow Jimmy: not your daddy Jimmy: and it's a bit late for your growth to get stunted, Judith Janis: you're trying to make yourself feel tall Janis: that makes sense, Tom Jimmy: if I were bothered I'd chuck on a pair of 👠 Janis: or take a saw to mine Jimmy: I'll try not to go as far as fucking up your ankle again Jimmy: right ball ache that were Janis: why are you lying kathy Jimmy: Dunno what you mean Jimmy: ain't a 🪓 under this pillow or owt Jimmy: just me and my ⛓ how you're used to Janis: I'll come back then Janis: if you're promising no surprises Jimmy: [a pic of him snuggled in bed like see there's no danger] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: you Janis: I've got the evidence right in front of me so Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: 👀📷 Janis: I'd take better ones but there's nothing very sexy about freezing my nips off Janis: you can, when I'm back Jimmy: warm you up a bit first Janis: you will Jimmy: can easily promise that Janis: It's not easy though Janis: you're just good Jimmy: never been a hard job, can't take all the credit for that Jimmy: 🤏 you an' all Jimmy: probably have to share the 🏆 at least Janis: alright Janis: we can drink from it Janis: toast to how easy it is Jimmy: long as Bill's 👻 don't try and take over like the proud dad he is Janis: ☠ later Jimmy: he'll have to wait til after I've 💀💀💀 you loads of other ways Janis: you first in that respect Janis: always Jimmy: them lads from that estate'll still be fuming about it Jimmy: swings'll be 🔥 Janis: was never gonna get drunk enough to do shit with them 🤷 Jimmy: not enough drinks in whatever shop they robbed for you to wanna bother, I get it Janis: obviously Janis: not the only girl to ever fuck them over like that, they'll survive Janis: least they can't accuse me of being frigid without sounding stupid now Jimmy: if anyone's still calling you that it'll be me that's fuming Jimmy: what more have I gotta do, like? Janis: 🍆📹 they wish Jimmy: come here then Janis: 😏 Jimmy: *🏃 Janis: I get it, you need both hands free Jimmy: dunno what's ruder, that you're not well trained enough to leg it to me when I click my fingers or that you reckon I don't already have a tripod set up Janis: right, you're a PROFESSIONAL pervert Janis: excuse me Jimmy: get it right Janis: get yourself to church Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ your shit nan, see if she can pick me up Janis: I'll stop 🏃 then Jimmy: or just 🏃 faster Janis: you think I want to fight my nan again Jimmy: didn't know it were a habit Janis: oh Janis: yeah, obvs Jimmy: alright, if it stops you trying to 🥊 with me Janis: bit selfish but Janis: 👌 Jimmy: never said I weren't Janis: I definitely am so not gonna say nothing Jimmy: already said I like you, not gonna risk 🗨 it again after how that went Janis: no accounting for taste Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: got time to dry my eyes before you get back Janis: just about Janis: but I know you, so don't worry too much Jimmy: Oi Janis: I like you too Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: no need to chuck you out Janis: you promised you'd warm me up first Jimmy: 'course I will Jimmy: not an utter bastard Janis: I know Janis: fuck knows why I like you Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Bill's gonna do you a list, look less bigheaded coming from him Janis: 🤏 Janis: [come back now] Jimmy: [show her why she likes you with the most extra and enthusiastic welcome ever] Janis: [thank god everyone has gone so we can do what we like, even Twix be having her breakfast rn] Jimmy: [the actual freedom because that's never a thing for him] Janis: [true, when he's here the kids always are, live your best life honeys, not that you were being considerate last night but you know lol] Jimmy: [the feelings just keep getting higher, they can't be blamed or tamed, 100000000% gonna get in the shower together later and run up Ian's water bill too not soz] Janis: [hohaha you know he's the type to be fuming so we gotta] Jimmy: [he's gonna be so fuming when Janis leaves because you've skipped school again as well, not looking forward to that but for now, I'm buzzing for you both] Janis: [no, we're all worried about that, lowkey trying to never leave again but we know we have to soon, just like 🥺] Jimmy: [it's not gonna be nice, fuck you Ian, thank god things are going well for jj rn so if he kicks jimothy out in the cold or something post brawl at least we have the bae] Janis: [subtly moves self in so Ian can never kick off again, we know that that is eventually what's gonna happen but sadly not yet] Jimmy: [can't wait for that] Janis: [lowkey take over your house because what you gon do sir, look after your children? unlikely] Jimmy: [or out yourself as an actual utter bastard by kicking off, even more unlikely] Janis: [like you can be salty but if you even asked for rent or whatever to try and get her out she'd just pay it so soz] Jimmy: [so glad Janis has worked out what Ian is really like because it'd seem like he was making it up/ it wasn't as bad if she hadn't] Janis: [the injuries don't lie, and if he'd got them from scrapping or whatever he would've just said 'cos it's much less shameful so we know] Jimmy: [and soz but who would this soft boy be fighting you're not a massive slag giving him grief like his ex] Janis: [exactly, we already know he ain't that boy either so like, pretend all you like Ian, we see you] Jimmy: [not soz he's not actually Liam 2.0 and a mad lad] Janis: [you'll see eventually fam, anywhosers, do we wanna do any of their day or skip to when she's gotta think about leaving] Jimmy: [we can probably skip because we know the vibe when they're together] Janis: [when are you gonna think you've gotta leave hmm] Jimmy: [and am I making you go to work after school or not hmm] Janis: [that would make sense, if you go to work and you leave] Jimmy: [let's do that then why not] Jimmy: [probably go pick Bobby up from school first and maybe take him and Twix to the park or something for a bit because Cass gonna mad at you after last night so] Janis: [yeah, we can give you that time, he's primary so he probably gets out pretty early] Jimmy: you wanna come with me? Jimmy: do some ☕🎨 Janis: tempting offer, boy Janis: I DO need to perfect the 💕 for the BIG day Jimmy: for the fans who ain't 😎 enough for the smoke rings I taught you Janis: all of them? Jimmy: SHOOK that you've forgotten the dickheads who vape Jimmy: good to know you ain't getting me one of them for the BIG day Janis: I bet they have flavours that are well appropriate though Janis: all 🍓🍧🍨🧁🍭🍬🍫 Jimmy: gimme 👼🏽🩸 and 🥀 or I don't want it 💔 Janis: That's why you've invited me Janis: 🤞 I fuck up that bad Janis: who's first aid? Jimmy: Pete 😍🤤 Jimmy: had loads of 🩺 fantasies obvs Janis: UGH Janis: what can't he do Jimmy: NOWT Jimmy: 💪🏆🩹💕 Jimmy: need a 🤕 that looks chuffed to bits Janis: 🥴 with a bandage, deffo Janis: cannot wait for my third degree burns now Jimmy: they'll probably be about though Jimmy: 💀👑 and that Jimmy: so you'll have to fake that your 😍🤤 is @ me til they've pissed off Janis: oh, duh Janis: caffeine so needed after a long day of bitching about everyone Janis: I reckon I'll manage Jimmy: haven't had their IRL 👀 on us all day Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: You need the audience, yeah? Jimmy: they need the updates Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: hmm Janis: alright, hate to disappoint 'em, obvs Jimmy: make it worth your ⏲ with 🥪🍪🧁 if their 👀��🔪 don't Janis: just don't make yourself sick of me Jimmy: bit rude to be taking the piss out of my stamina Janis: you're rude Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: been 🥇😇 all day Janis: exactly Jimmy: I just Jimmy: don't want you to 👋 yet Janis: Me either Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: okay Janis: I just feel a bit Janis: the hangover might've caught up with me Janis: easy on the 🍪🧁 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a smoothie Janis: so behind my 💪🏆 Jimmy: DUH Jimmy: you can sit in the back again an' all if you want Janis: that's okay Janis: gotta have all 👀s on us to make it count Jimmy: nowt makes 'em more fuming than what they can't 👀 all I'm 🗨 Jimmy: you don't need to worry about chucking them the 🍿 if you don't feel alright Janis: should teach them to lip read Janis: but don't Janis: I'm okay, honest Jimmy: [teaching her how to sign stuff for if she doesn't feel well that won't be obvious to the flatwhites cos lord knows some sign language really is] Janis: [doing some you've remembered from a previous sesh like look, I've learnt] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😏 I know, so impressive Janis: Libi makes me practice with her Jimmy: without me having to @ her an' all Jimmy: must be 💕 Janis: DUH Janis: don't be acting like you haven't had your 👂 signed off Jimmy: it's alright, he's deffo gonna outdo me with his 🎨 and 🎁s Jimmy: probably keep it going the whole 2 weeks, him Jimmy: CLEARLY mutual Janis: Your influence Jimmy: except I dunno what I'm gonna get you that won't make you start a scale for it from 🙄 to 🤮 Janis: you don't have to get ME fuck all Janis: you only have to 1 up the basic 🎁 every lad does Jimmy: you'll be stuck with it, might as well sort out something that's not a load of shite Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll hit Bobby up for tips Jimmy: too soon for a 💍? Jimmy: he'd say it ain't Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna have to keep an 👀 on him Jimmy: least he's only got 😍 for Libi and don't take after me in being a massive slag Jimmy: be proposing to his whole class Janis: be well pricey if he's not reusing Jimmy: have to break into one of them machines once the shop is out of the sweet ones Janis: hoeing was meant to bring in the 💰 not lose it Janis: 💔 Jimmy: not gonna say you should give him tips Jimmy: still don't wanna 🥊 tah Janis: Not gonna break no baby hearts, so you're safe for now Jimmy: now I know you're feeling 🤢 Janis: you're gonna have to later Jimmy: what for? Janis: 🥊 Janis: not me Jimmy: I thought you meant 💔👶 Jimmy: not in the job description but alright Janis: 'course not Janis: be a weird rule to have at any of 'em Janis: ☕ or 💕 Jimmy: piss easy though Janis: that's not up for debate Janis: taking the 🍭🍬 is well known Jimmy: *🍪🧁 Jimmy: off you and them Janis: so tough Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I won't wanna go Janis: you promised you'd teach me how to do the thing Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: I'll make it worth your while Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: come on Janis: you know me Jimmy: and you know I'm only pissing about, Jules Jimmy: VERY impressive, you Jimmy: said it before Janis: I'll get you to say it again Janis: one way or another Jimmy: you can't just say that like it's nowt and we're just gonna go crack on with ☕🎨 Janis: why not? Jimmy: you know why not Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: you're so Janis: that's you Jimmy: you Janis: you did such a good job on your first job Janis: you deserve to have a good shift Jimmy: it weren't a job today Janis: true Jimmy: I'll call in sick if you want, my nursing kink ain't gone nowhere Janis: No, no Janis: we'll have a good time Jimmy: can't deny that Janis: you can but I'm gonna do my best Jimmy: you'd know I were faking if I tried to bother Janis: let's not Janis: even if they're there Janis: we can still work it Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Jimmy: it still won't feel like a job, however hard work 💀👑 and her mates are Janis: neither of us need it Janis: they'll see 😍 regardless 'cos they want to Jimmy: right Jimmy: we've done our 💕 posts Janis: and it's not like I'll be ignoring you Jimmy: or that I can ever ignore you Janis: they don't know the difference Jimmy: 🧠💀💀💀 Janis: and you do 💀💀 me Janis: really Jimmy: you're killing me now Janis: sorry Janis: IOU Jimmy: when you feel less hungover Janis: I don't feel hungover Janis: I just miss you and I'm gonna miss you Jimmy: no need to miss me now and if you do in a bit I'll do the balcony scene 🌹 Jimmy: gone further to come get you and I didn't get lost Janis: it was VERY impressive, baby Jimmy: do alright under pressure Jimmy: @ my manager Janis: I'll put it on the trip advisor review Jimmy: tah Janis: I'll keep it PG Janis: or at the very least be vague about which barista I'm fucking Jimmy: I get it, this were nowt but a plan to get Pete's girlfriend to piss off Janis: 🤫🤫 Janis: worked SO hard on this plan, you ain't fucking it up for me Jimmy: 🤐 for now but he'll get it out of me Janis: great, now I've got to have a threesome with you 🙄 Jimmy: need a different eye rolling emoji for that Jimmy: get a bit closer to your actual review Janis: don't you dare make me 😳 in front of him Jimmy: it ain't my fault you're 😳 whenever I'm about Janis: psh Janis: whichever way you look at it that's clearly bollocks Jimmy: you're 🗨 bollocks denying it, mate Janis: shut up Jimmy: make me Janis: you're on Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: sorted our kid out now, I can do you before we have to go Janis: 1. no you can't 2. don't add me to your to-do list Jimmy: 1. yeah I can 2. you're top of every list, don't be a dickhead Janis: I want you too much Jimmy: so come here Jimmy: there's loads I can do about that Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [I'm just like do we want these kids to ruin this for you or no cos clearly both around] Janis: [when we're gonna be so rude later we're like ahh have everything lol, you probably would get cocklblocked though being real] Jimmy: [hence I was conflicted because Ian is gonna be a huge cunt and hurt you boy but realism though] Janis: [you can have an enjoyable time at the CG before we make you say goodbye it's okay, like it's not but] Jimmy: [we're doing what we can lads, you're welcome] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to then now if you like] Janis: [skippity doo dah] Jimmy: [do we wanna do any of the CG stuff is the question or fully go to later] Janis: [we could just vibe out how the gals are 'cos we already said Mia and co are being extra like skipping school is so shocking, then skip to when they have to say goodbye 'cos it'll be emosh] Jimmy: [that's a fair shout I think because yeah we know that they'll be goals without trying so it's just how Mia's trying to be] Janis: ['cos soon she's gonna literally get him fired so clearly she's gonna be a cow] Jimmy: [making complaints like a Karen when he's literally done nothing wrong, we see you] Janis: [she should be like IS THAT GIRL TRAINED when he's letting Janis do some latte art, as if they're giving anyone the ones she's making, so then they have to stop] Jimmy: [that's so petty she would, like gal we weren't gonna serve it to you we're just having a nice time while there is a lull in customers step back] Janis: [seriously, excuse us tryna have fun, like we still will but clearly that's the vibe, any time they try to do something she's like UM] Jimmy: [yeah and any time he tries to go remotely near the bae's table she suddenly needs something as if he's the only barista here] Janis: Can she be our second victim? Janis: 🔪🔪 Jimmy: first Jimmy: no need to hang about Janis: I'll clearly poison her 'cos I dunno how to make a latte Janis: whoops Jimmy: could let you loose with the steam wand Janis: her face just looks like that Jimmy: exactly, can't be traced back to you Janis: I don't want Pete to give me his disappointed face when he has to give her a bandage and write it in the accident book though Janis: 😥 Jimmy: I'll say it were me, piss easy to get his forgiveness 😘 Janis: rude Jimmy: it's alright, I know how to get yours an' all Janis: you do not Jimmy: 😏 Janis: dickhead Janis: meant to be focused on the murder anyway, you've got well off topic Jimmy: Oi, well decent at 🤹 now, me Janis: you need to work on your 🏃 clearly Jimmy: get my 🐕 trained and then we'll 🗨 Janis: am I even qualified? Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: can you get 💀👑 to behave herself or what? Janis: could give it a go Janis: what's in it for me though Jimmy: other than getting to rub her noise in her 🤮 next time she pisses off to the 🚽 how dickheads do when their 🐕s piss, you mean? Jimmy: what else do you want? Janis: save on you cleaning it up, you mean Janis: but alright Janis: [go over to the gals table like they haven't been actively being bitchy like HEY BABES WHAT'S UP] Jimmy: [comes over too like is there anything else you need and just being subtly but not subtly touchy feely with the bae while you're there to annoy Mia like what are you gonna do bitch make a complaint cos I'm playing with her hair] Janis: [getting y'all a massive cake or muffin or whatever that you would never order yourselves like our treat!] Jimmy: [LOL I love that, Hollie will be buzzing] Janis: [finally some food, just force feeding you like what are you gonna do, say no and look weird? I think not] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: worth it for the 😨😰 Janis: just collateral the ones that eat occasionally are getting fed but I'll cope Jimmy: do you want owt or have they made you lose your appetite? Jimmy: tell me so I can fake that I 🧠📖 Janis: I'll take a smoothie Janis: bonus points that I can brag about how talented you are or whatever Jimmy: and she can have a go that I ignored a load of dickheads to get it done for you Jimmy: they must be 👻s an' all Janis: since when was 💕a crime, Mia Janis: must've been dumped Jimmy: when I'm 45 and undercover 👮🚔 but that's our secret so Janis: She'd be far too into you then Janis: no escape Jimmy: [IRL 🤫 cos he looks hot doing it and then it looks like they are being saucy with their convo lol] Janis: [🤭 energy back but not exactly that obviously] Jimmy: [😏😍 energy that is not fake because I 100% assume she's wearing his clothes rn cos not been home and looking cute af] Jimmy: [definitely giving as many LOOKs as we can while we make this smoothie] Janis: [she definitely is so that's adorable and we never need to fake this energy lbr] Jimmy: [you've never had to fake much of anything we know and that's why this works] Janis: [mhmm, faking an interest in y'alls convo however? very much so] Janis: please tell me you're due a 🚬 soon Jimmy: manager ain't about to stop me Jimmy: bit busy with his 👂🩸 from all her whinging probably Janis: definitely better not go out back as it's staff only Jimmy: What?! 😱 you DON'T work here? Jimmy: top ☕🎨 like that! Janis: I know right?! Janis: #hiremegreg Jimmy: [writes her a review as if she do work here] Janis: pretty generous Jimmy: [shows her some pics of his early latte art like look how shit I was] Janis: awh, baby's first ☕🎨 Janis: only got a few years before your brother comes for this gig too Jimmy: 🤞 they'll have heard of coffee in the north by then Jimmy: he'll be 💔😭😭 else Janis: 😏 Janis: you're not emmerdale northern, I remember, can't fool me Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: real 🤞 he's stopped copying me ages before that Janis: you'll lose your ✨ Jimmy: ⏲ Jimmy: [give her this smoothie with today's 🎨 on the napkin and a kiss on the cheek] Janis: [insta that in front of the gals, obvs, just showing you all how cute we are] Janis: 🤞 I don't forget and wipe my face with that Jimmy: 🤞 I've got my 📷 out when you do Janis: I won't Janis: 🐘 memory Jimmy: 💔 you'd look well shakespearian with a pen beard Jimmy: Bill's gonna roll in his ⚰ at the missed chance Janis: I don't need to think about him that excited, tbh Jimmy: 👻🎻 Janis: you're the slag, you deal with it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: leave you with whatever you wanna 💭 about instead Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: what happened to our break? Jimmy: nowt, ready when you are Janis: [run away because we are over this girly chat like let's go] Jimmy: [you lasted longer than I would gal hence Jimothy will light you a 🚬 cos deserved] Janis: [you can dramatically breathe out like PHEW] Jimmy: [do your own because we all know what you're thinking about but we can pretend it's either a pisstake of hers or in solidarity] Janis: [reaching out to squeeze the hand that isn't holding his cigarette] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on the back of hers but not establishing whether we're saying we are or asking if she is] Janis: [kissing the back of his] Jimmy: [kissing her dramatically because he cannot handle the softness rn] Janis: [we can go with that too] Jimmy: [just have a moment lads that's deserved too] Janis: [going in 'cos our emotions] Jimmy: [likewise because it's not like you care about all the people going past or that can see you inside] Janis: [keep going to say 'we-' and 'you-' like many times but never actually finishing either sentence 'cos you know he can't] Jimmy: [and don't talk to me about how tightly he's holding onto her because never mind this break not being long enough, this whole shift isn't and the goodbye and how evil I'm gonna be is looming over us] Janis: [gonna need someone to come through and break yous up we all know it] Jimmy: [thank god there's lots of possibilities for that cos of where you are] Janis: [someone else just tryna have their break lol] Jimmy: [soz but not] Janis: [truly] Janis: I'll brb Jimmy: Where you going? Janis: just need to get some stuff Jimmy: 🔪🪓🔧🔨🧱🧨🛢 I get it Janis: exactly Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: they should fuck off now 🤞 Jimmy: *🤞😁🤞 Janis: I'll do that whole way down the street, like Jimmy: 📷 it for us Jimmy: nowt else would do to make me 😁😁😁 Janis: ugh Janis: now I have to Jimmy: if you want a 🏆 or IOU Janis: [obviously we are] Jimmy: [have a lil reaction vid back as if we're not literally meant to be working because we're a nerd and in love] Janis: there we go Janis: all worth it now Janis: even though I looked like tiktok tammy Jimmy: 🦍🌃 Jimmy: you could NEVER Janis: compliment or diss? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: dunno Janis: 'cos if you're saying I can't dance like I'm having a seizure that's a lie Jimmy: you're gonna have to prove that now, you get that, yeah? Jimmy: walked right into making yourself look a twat Janis: you ask for any more 📷 and it's just gonna be weird Jimmy: alright, if you'd rather do it here in front of dickheads buying ☕ crack on Jimmy: I'll wait Janis: what about me doesn't scream 'loves an audience' Jimmy: what about me makes you reckon I'll be up for being your fake boyfriend after any of that bollocks? Jimmy: far as plans to dump me go Janis: you're the one asking me to do it, dickhead Janis: can't reverse psychology your way into getting to be the one doing the dumping Jimmy: you set yourself up, dickhead, nowt to do with me Janis: you could let it slide Janis: you already know I can dance Jimmy: I could Jimmy: you have got that IOU Janis: not what I'd use it for in an ideal world but Jimmy: might let you keep it and let it go an' all if I like the sound of what you would use it for Jimmy: am in a VERY 😁 mood now Janis: that'd be telling Janis: can't risk that 😁 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you said it were in an ideal world, nowt but 😁 there Janis: but that ain't where any of us is Janis: so no point Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: yeah Janis: you weren't meant to stop 😁 Jimmy: doing my customer service face, it's as near Janis: if you're an alien who's never seen a person before Jimmy: busted 💔 Janis: 👮=👽 checks out Jimmy: bit racist of you but I get it, the north does look like something out of a shite sci fi film Jimmy: all them fuming orange lasses with nowt on 🤞 for 👽 Janis: bit up yourself Janis: but won't disagree Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: maybe you should go back Janis: first, like Jimmy: what for? Janis: so your dad has to relocate Jimmy: might just still be about big enough for the both of us Janis: it might work Janis: if you keep doing a runner Jimmy: don't see that happening with 👶👶🐕 Janis: he'd get fed up of looking after them, right Jimmy: not leaving them with him long enough to find out Janis: okay Jimmy: or trusting Ian to work out where I'd gone even if I left a 💌 with a drawn out map Janis: he can't be that thick Jimmy: why can't he? Janis: it's impossible he's not heard what your sister wants Janis: ignoring it is another issue Jimmy: yeah Janis: anyway Jimmy: what he's too thick to work out is that she wants a person not a place Jimmy: that's how he reckons he can make it work here with his 🎁💰🐕 Janis: guess he can't give that anywhere Jimmy: he could give her her mates back who were there and know about it, instead of this bollocks where it only gets 🗨 for each new Sharon who comes about Janis: so tell her to do it Jimmy: what makes you think I can tell her to do owt Janis: it's what she wants to do, so help her do it so she doesn't fuck it up Jimmy: she's a kid, I'm not helping her piss off on her own Janis: not permanently Janis: just so he has to do something about it Jimmy: no Janis: alright Jimmy: it's not alright, what the fuck's wrong with you? Janis: she's 12, not 2 Janis: and you said she has friends, all it is is showing up on their doorstep unannounced and waiting for their parents to call Jimmy: she's my sister, not some dickhead I don't care about that I'd use to score points against him Janis: I didn't say you had to, it was just a suggestion Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I said alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: what? Janis: forget it Jimmy: forget what? Janis: don't be a dick Jimmy: you started it Janis: by trying to help, sure Jimmy: I never asked for it Janis: nah, 'course not Jimmy: you don't know her Jimmy: and if she got it into her head to go looking for my mum instead of pissing about at a mates for a bit, fuck knows what'd happen Janis: like it's going to be easy to convince your dad to move back when he moved for a reason Jimmy: I'm not thick, alright Jimmy: I know how decent his job here is Janis: you either want to do something about it or you don't Janis: and you clearly don't so that's what forget it means Jimmy: stop having a go at me Jimmy: you clearly don't have a fucking clue about what I do or don't want Janis: this is pointless Jimmy: yeah, it is Janis: bye then Jimmy: 👋 Janis: I'll be over the road when you want your stuff back later Jimmy: it's nowt I need back in a bit Janis: then I'll leave it there Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [what do you wanna do like after he's gone home and dealt?] Jimmy: [I'll hit you back up because I was thinking injury wise like obvs it makes sense for them all to be hidden still because Ian is probs suss of Janis so like whatever healing his ribs have done they are probably fucked again but if it's lowkey that whole side of his body his wrist and arm would be an easy one for people to maybe notice at school but not think is a big deal because people hurt them all the time by putting them out when they fall etc and he can write with his other hand anyway but because we want some #drama and none of the bruises will be !! for a couple of days he could also have a dislocated shoulder as it's painful and shock factor for her to having to pop it back in but easy enough that she could without anyone else having to be involved] Jimmy: You still over the road or what? Janis: yes Janis: do you need to come in? Jimmy: come out Janis: ok Janis: [do that quickly 'cos we've clearly just been waiting] Jimmy: [I dread to think the state of this poor boy just trying not to cry outside mcvickers gaff like hey] Janis: [we're gonna be really shocked but pretending hard not to be like okay, just trying to survey the damage 'what do you need me to do?'] Jimmy: [show her your shoulder boy like nbd just casually pop this back into place because we're lowkey in shock here hence we told her to come outside even though you're gonna have to go in because you have to do this while he's lying on a bed you can't just do it here] Janis: [just gonna lead you inside without touching you or saying anything, just gesturing like come on 'it's okay' which is the furthest thing from the truth but what else can you say rn] Jimmy: [thank god you can trust her not only to do this but to not tell anyone because what a big ask when we're literally a month in] Janis: [lowkey, thank god you have a room here too, gonna rip your top off instead of trying to get it off 'cos impossible and bunching it in a way to make a decent gag because don't need to bite through your tongue or scream the house down, letting him get ready in that much and getting on the bed but not giving him loads of warning because best way to do it] Jimmy: [last we need is Libi or mcvickers rocking up and interrupting any of this so well played gal because he is not in a headspace to be helpful rn] Janis: [at least its one of those things where it's better once it's done so that'll be some minor relief for you, still, 'sorry' though 'cos it's fucking gnarly 'wait here' and going out to the bathroom, thank god they're old and probably have some decent painkillers, have to cross that bridge later when they think you've taken 'em for fun gal] Jimmy: [if he was thinking clearly he would not have come here because you already know too much gal and more importantly isn't not fair to make you do this when you're literally supposed to get xrays and shit first but here we are and you know he's saying sorry too and also trying to stop her from leaving even though she's literally just going too the bathroom and we realistically know that] Janis: [just keep telling him it's okay over and over 'we need to get you comfortable, okay? then we'll-' trail off 'cos we don't know and we know that's gonna be a journey to get there] Jimmy: [just nod because we know she's not wrong you do need those painkillers] Janis: [get as many of them down you as is safe boy, thanks for having a decent stash guys, also bandages we're gonna try to make use of now, taking his hand gently 'do you think any of the fingers are broken?'] Jimmy: [they gonna be suss about where all this has gone you're gonna have to lie convincingly gal, but for now we're just moving all our fingers by like messing about doing the signing alphabet and stuff like cos I'm gonna let you live and say they are okay] Janis: [sigh of relief like okay, we don't need to splint any of those, checking to see if he can bend his arm and how high he can etc before settling on splinting the whole forearm and then doing a sling 'he does realize you'll probably have to take more time off school now, where's the fucking sense in that' basically to ourselves and under our breath 'cos we know it's not logical and also not really about that] Jimmy: [didn't realise when you were having all that fun fake nursing each other that it would come to this, did you lads? ugh Ian, but jimothy is just getting ready to go when she's done this like okay thanks bye as if I'm just gonna let you walk out and go back to big brother duties and whatever else you're thinking about rn sir] Janis: [putting a hand out like stop 'you can't just go back'] Jimmy: ['I can't just stay here' like you literally can boy it's okay] Janis: '[just sit down, you need to give yourself chance to catch up'] Jimmy: [when you do sit down without arguing or saying anything pisstakey and it's so unlike him that we all hate it] Janis: [sit in silent shock for a sec guys 'you know you can't let him do this again' 'you will end up in hospital'] Jimmy: ['you're acting like there's owt else I can do that I've not'] Janis: ['that isn't what I'm saying' 'this isn't working, not any more'] Jimmy: ['What then, you still want me to tell Cass to crack on making him more fuming than I ever have done, knowing what he's like?] Janis: ['has he hit her?'] Jimmy: ['not yet'] Janis: ['you're gonna have to consider possibilities you don't like, you can't live like this'] Jimmy: ['there ain't a possibility I've not, I've been living like this for ages'] Janis: ['this isn't just discipline or whatever the fuck, it's assault and he knows that, wouldn't you be better off without him?'] Jimmy: ['where do you reckon we'd go? They're not better off without me'] Janis: ['I don't know, all I know is, he gives you any more injuries, neither of you will have any say who gets involved, okay'] Jimmy: ['he's got away with it this long'] Janis: ['well he isn't now'] Jimmy: ['I didn't come here for you to have another go at me'] Janis: ['I'm not'] Jimmy: ['nobody knows fuck all about it and that's the way it's staying'] Janis: [just shrugging like okay and getting up to go 'get some sleep' Jimmy: [likewise getting up to leave and actually go home this time like okay bye] Janis: ['next time this happens, don't come to me for help, because this isn't fair' 'because I do know and I'm not going to pretend I don't again'] Jimmy: ['I shouldn't have bothered coming this time' because we know it's not fair and we're just very sad and frustrated by life obvs 'do what you like' because lord knows we would if we could] Janis: ['I'm not going to tell anyone' 'but it has nothing to do with what I like, Jesus fucking Christ'] Jimmy: ['and I'm not saying tah for you not being a massive dickhead who'd proper fuck my little brother and sister over' a shrug but we're maintaining eye contact because this is serious] Janis: ['it's not about them' because it ain't Jimmy: ['you tell anyone and they'll get chucked into care same as I would'] Janis: ['remind him of that, not me'] Jimmy: ['you don't think I have done?'] Janis: ['there are ways to make it a more serious threat'] Jimmy: [just an exhausted sigh because he's doing everything he can always and it's not enough ever] Janis: ['think about it, the last thing he wants is people knowing, yeah? well I know'] Jimmy: ['might work for a bit, til he's too fuming to be bothered and just tells himself no dickhead'll believe you or owt else he needs to'] Janis: [just looks at him like there's all the evidence needed 'not like it's being made up though'] Jimmy: ['alright, it might be enough to get him to fuck off back to the north and get us away from you, but that don't help me'] Janis: ['except he doesn't want to go back, as is very fucking obvious by now, so it'd be easier for him to stop beating the shit out of you than do that'] Jimmy: [a look like yeah obviously but that doesn't mean he will] Janis: ['it's accountability, if he keeps doing it, I could tell anyone, everyone- he clearly reckons you won't by now, he doesn't know that about me'] Jimmy: [just clearly thinking about if she did have to then follow through on that threat though and tell everyone and how much he obviously doesn't want anyone to know and all of this is just in his expression rn] Janis: [shaking our head like well there's fuck all else to say rn 'get some sleep'] Jimmy: ['stop saying that' cos clearly neither of them will be able to very easily] Janis: ['you need it to heal'] Jimmy: ['just say you want me to piss off, you've already said not to bother coming back'] Janis: ['I'm trying to fucking help you'] Jimmy: ['I know' in a purely frustrated way but then repeating it in a soft way because we do know that] Janis: ['I don't know what else you want me to do'] Jimmy: ['I never said I knew what I were doing or what you should' this boy trying not to cry again over here] Janis: ['don't' but softly 'cos we've been trying not to cry this whole convo lowkey and we don't wanna do it now] Jimmy: [doing a feelsy lean with our good side because we want to hug her but we can't] Janis: ['I mean it' and moving away so he doesn't hurt himself, but not dramatically like get away] Jimmy: [a nod because we know and we appreciate everything she has done and is trying to do more than we can put into words without crying rn ' but I shouldn't have made you do that' a look at his shoulder 'I'm a dickhead'] Janis: [shrug like it's nothing, like I'm sure you've seen dislocated shoulders but doubt you were the one putting them back in but okay 'don't mean you deserve any of this'] Jimmy: [a look like don't because we know it's not nothing and we're really sorry about this now we're thinking clearer] Janis: ['you didn't have anywhere else to go'] Jimmy: ['that don't mean it were alright to come here and do this to you'] Janis: ['I'm not the one battered and bruised, I'm fine'] Jimmy: ['I'm used to that bollocks, it's having someone be bothered about it that I can't get my head round' when you aren't used to having people care about you ever so you always feel like you're fucking it up] Janis: ['be a pretty shit person if I didn't' 'so I can see the confusion' not really the time to be salty about that but we are] Jimmy: [a lol which we then regret because ouch] Janis: [tryna be serious like 'for fuck's sake' but a lil bit 😏] Jimmy: [when you wanna kiss her so much that you've simply got to, injuries be damned] Janis: [at least your face is purposely avoided so you'll be okay but you can't go in sad times for you 'I'm sorry' 'that you think I'm having a go at you'] Jimmy: [shaking his head because he genuinely doesn't think that 'I didn't mean that it were just -' no need to finish that because she knows what you mean, we've all been put through it tonight honey and we've already admitted we've been a dickhead] Janis: [nods because yeah 'I was never saying it was easy, I don't think that'] Jimmy: [also nods because yeah 'and I weren't saying it were a shit idea'] Janis: ['I just want-' not finishing that sentence like never mind 'anyway'] Jimmy: [all the eye contact because always 'what?'] Janis: ['I just want you to be alright' mumbling and not giving more than a second of eye contact like you haven't already said ily and that you care] Jimmy: [posing to show off the amazing job she's done bandaging him up and 😁 like I am alright now as if it's that simple] Janis: [just like mhmm like that is not what I mean and you know that but we don't need to get into it rn it's okay] Jimmy: [pull her even closer to you because we do know what she means and we appreciate it] Janis: [checking him like be careful please 'I'm sleeping on the floor' it's definitely a double but we don't wanna hurt him] Jimmy: [gestures at the bed like um look how much space there is compared to what we've used to 'no need for that'] Janis: ['could make a pillow wall' like people who hate their partners do lmao] Jimmy: ['that'll be Mia at every one of them sleepovers, cracking on just like her dad taught her' shading Ella and Mia's mum in one go lol] Janis: [we have to lol 'poor els, no 'accidental' rub ups for her'] Jimmy: [goes to do the 💔 but can only do half so has to force the bae to do the other bit for us] Janis: ['so tragic' and lowkey forcing him to get situated properly in this bed as comfortably as possible 'what are you gonna say happened then?' 'cos can't hide for the whole time it'd take to heal] Jimmy: ['weren't planning to do a q&a about it' cos he's honestly not thought about it yet with everything else he has been thinking about 'don't matter as long as nobody reckons you smacked me about'] Janis: [a look like who is going to think that? then rolling our eyes 'cos is the type of thing Mia would try to say lol 'well no one is going to think you got it playing a sport' cheeky bit of shade as we are looking in the wardrobe and under the bed for something] Jimmy: [chucking a pillow at her for the shade like oi 'I'll say I fell over or some bollocks, worked for my mum'] Janis: [making a noise like psh but we're not throwing that back 'you tryna prove you have aim? alright, I believe you' and coming back with the pillow and the sleeping bag we've retrieved to sleep in so we're not rolling all over] Jimmy: [a look like you know how good my aim is because any excuse to be saucy about anything especially when we're so upset about this whole sleeping situation but trying to downplay it] Janis: ['thank god you're ambidextrous' meant to be taking the piss out of him but it just sounds thirsty so we're loling] Jimmy: [😏 'you'll have to tweet that so the fans know'] Janis: ['the offers to fill in whilst you're injured would probably be a lot'] Jimmy: [😒 because we don't wanna think about that 'won't be a slaggy nurse's outfit left in this shithole once they've heard' because also true] Janis: [likewise 'gross' and shaking our head 'there's nothing sexy about hospital'] Jimmy: [a fed up sigh 'I can't be bothered with this' like it's an option to just not be injured, soz boy] Janis: [squeeze his non-injured hand like I know 'it'll be alright, we'll work it out'] Jimmy: ['can we not just fake going away like we were gonna do at new year's?' probably not boy but it's a nice thought] Janis: ['it'd be easier to actually go away' but a tone that's saying, that's how long it'd need to be, not suggesting it] Jimmy: ['let's do that then' as if that's remotely plausible in any way] Janis: ['are you concussed as well?' and moving our fingers about in front of him like follow but 😏 'cos we don't think he actually is obvs or we wouldn't be joking] Jimmy: [takes her hand and turns it into a 👍 like she's agreeing to his great idea 'wouldn't even have to be for that long' because we know he's not gonna do the 2 weeks off that you're meant to when you dislocate your shoulder because he never does what he's supposed to] Janis: ['where are we going then?' as we lay down ourselves] Jimmy: ['where do you wanna go?'] Janis: ['don't care' because we don't 'what about you?@'] Jimmy: ['what makes you think I care?' because likewise we don't] Janis: ['then just not here it is' turning to face him in our little sleeping bag 'assuming the pain pills don't wear off and you change your mind'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile at the prospect of getting to leave for a bit together even hypothetically tbh 'when they wear off you might change yours' and doing a 😒 af face] Janis: ['this is you being a delight, yeah?' and do a feelsy lean assuming we're sleeping on his good side 'cos makes sense] Jimmy: ['that were me doing an impression of you remembering what a nightmare I were last time we went away' because that skerries domestic when she tried to get him to sleep in a bed we all remember those joys] Janis: ['bit rude' like how dare you insinuated I'm ever grumpy lollolollll 'you'll be less trouble now you're fucked up' but a sad sigh 'cos its not funny though we're trying] Jimmy: [taking her hand again so you can write soz on it playfully but then just properly hold it because we heard that sad sigh and we are really soz in our heart] Janis: [doing the 👌 symbol which is probs hard to follow so then just doing a 💕 like] Jimmy: [doing an irl 🤝 because best friends forever] Janis: [then tucking him in like go to sleep nerd 'it'll be better in the morning'] Jimmy: [goes to say something because it won't be but we're deciding against it so she doesn't sad sigh again and closing our eyes instead] Janis: [gently lean over and kiss both his eyes] Jimmy: [not opening our eyes or anything but 'I really fucking like you' with feeling because he do] Janis: [got to kiss you on the lips with as much feeling 'cos we cannot trust ourselves to say anything rn] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's been a very dramatic night]

[punkscowardschampions]

Liam & Edie

Liam: [sends her some kind of coded thing where the answer equals 6 when she works it out so she knows he's not living his best life without her because they're both weird little nerds] Edie: I'm so insanely bored Edie: what lesson are you in and how many negative ⭐s is it Liam: german Liam: all the negatives Liam: [sends her a picture of his textbook with everyone's eyes stabbed out via pencil holes like miss you] Edie: awh, you wanna give me schadenfreude 😍🥴 Edie: that's generous Edie: I was just thinking that a Columbine would liven this place up Liam: write your list, I'll try & think of anyone I'd wanna keep off mine except for you Edie: but being the last ones standing is what we aim for Edie: and what I want right now Liam: anything else you want before I kick that plan off? Edie: don't need time to say any final farewells to any dickhead in this place Liam: you've got a steadier hand, I'll need you to carve no farewells onto the bullets Edie: more deserving use of my time than whatever I'm not being taught right now Edie: how's your aim though? Liam: -9 ⭐s for the lesson you're in Liam: but + it for my aim Edie: my fault for naively thinking Physics might be interesting when I picked it Edie: forgot we were catering for the braindead masses Edie: I believe it, no bullshit brag detected Liam: chemistry would've let you blow more things up Liam: & make 💊 Edie: 😤 I'm mad Edie: no amount of black holes are gonna make up for this Liam: we'll learn it online Edie: but I wanna blow things up with you now Edie: or not learn German vocab Liam: let's go blow up a 🚽 they have to let you out in case you're about to bleed or cry in front of everyone Edie: and am I? Liam: in front of me & whoever else is in there Liam: unless you wanna upload it after Edie: I do need to make the overreaction my fam had over the weekend worth the headache Edie: owed more trouble, like Liam: my dad was on one too, he's the only one not allowed to show up by his logic Liam: you want a bigger scale? every 🚽 in the building Liam: maybe school would have to shut Edie: Know that, my sister is the definition of one rule for her, another for the rest of us Edie: I reckon we could do 'em all without getting caught in the act Edie: more fun after the fact 📹 to claim it Liam: just need to get creative with our explosives, I won't have enough 🧨 to do every bathroom Liam: you in the labs or a standard classroom? Edie: labs Edie: she's scheduled a breakdown any moment now anyway, she's always pissing off to cry herself so I'll take my opportunity and cue as such Liam: 3 HNO3 + C6H7(OH)3O2  H2SO4 →  C6H7(ONO2)3O2 + 3 H2O Liam: only need nitric & sulphuric acid from you Edie: you're a hot evil genius, okay Liam: there's a story behind it but maybe I shouldn't give it to you Liam: keep that train of thought intact Edie: but I need it Edie: I can keep 'em both on track, trust me Liam: you need it? tell me about that first Edie: I love stories Edie: and I liked talking to you, a lot Edie: and I like it when you give me things Edie: so yeah, it's a need Liam: to make you happy then Liam: the year is 1846 and this german-swiss scientist was messing in his kitchen Liam: he spilled a mixture of those 2 acids I told you to get on his table & grabbed the first thing he had about to clean it up Liam: happened to be a cotton apron & he hung it on his oven door to dry after, super chill until it exploded Edie: that's perfect Edie: scientists really loved making shit happen on accident, just like all life Edie: 🧫🦠 Liam: I was an accident & look how that turned out Edie: Big same Liam: my sister too, different loser dad though Edie: yeah? Edie: we've got that in common too Liam: does seem to be pretty common Edie: happy little accidents Edie: or not so Liam: I don't wanna be like that Liam: the different girls bit at least Edie: people love repeating their parents mistakes and bullshit Edie: even when they railed on it for years Edie: I don't fucking get it Edie: make your own, at least Liam: maybe you'll think this is one but I gotta say it Liam: I don't care about claiming 🚽💥 I wanna claim you Liam: be with me Edie: You mean it Edie: no bullshit Liam: only if there's bullshit that comes with being official & exclusive all of that Edie: I think that's a really, really good idea Edie: not a mistake but even if it was, I still want it Liam: alright, it's yours, me & the gay 🖤 shit Edie: [sends him a 🥰 selfie] Liam: it's my background Edie: you were already mine Edie: [glitter moment shamelessly] Liam: took the longest shower & I'm still finding it 🗺❌ Edie: good thing you suit it Edie: we can try again though, after the literal shitstorm, a shower is a good idea Liam: yeah, wouldn't suit that Liam: german teacher can disagree as loud as she wants Edie: 😏 Edie: can keep their filth and their hands to themselves Liam: I respect that you only covered me in glitter so that those girls would think I was gay & do the same Edie: people gotta respect territory Edie: works until I perfect your tat Liam: I'll get on the school roof with a 📢 Edie: You're everything Liam: you can sample it when you write a song about me Edie: I will Edie: your friend is not getting a feature Liam: his loss Liam: I'll only gloat for a while Edie: you can go as hard as you want, I reckon Edie: you've earnt it, like Liam: I'll go as hard as you want Liam: you're my girl now Edie: I'm yours Liam: make your physics teacher cry for me then Liam: we've got shit to do Edie: 😄 Edie: done Edie: where are we meeting when I'm fully done and have secured the shit? Liam: [a location] Edie: 👍 Liam: 🔜 Edie: making people cry is a speciality of mine Liam: it won't work on me Edie: I don't want to make you cry Edie: ever Liam: good thing I can't ever, all that toxic masculinity Edie: not missing out on much Edie: even if Miss makes a proper performance out of it Edie: more fun ways to do that Liam: yeah there are Edie: 💣💥 Liam: don't have to hand you a 🧨 to cause 🎇🎆 Edie: you don't even know how true that is Edie: yet Liam: for now it's a guess Edie: I'll show you Liam: I just wanna feel something Liam: that's not only 💊🥤 Edie: I will make that happen Edie: you don't need to believe me, just wait Liam: I'm waiting Edie: you deserve to feel everything Liam: I've tried but it don't work out like that Edie: you can't? Edie: or only certain emotions Liam: there's no 💣💥 in me Edie: we can be dead inside together and make it happen to everyone else Edie: for now Edie: [show up] Liam: [just kiss her too hard because everything you do is a little bit too much boy, okay you're numb but there's too many emotions trapped under the surface that we're not addressing so] Edie: [thank god we're so overwhelmed ourselves that we can just roll with this and have it be the most extra thing] Liam: [this is why you two work] Edie: [just approaching this like you aren't her first honey not even 'cos we're fronting but feelings and trying to make you feel things] Liam: [realistically who have you ever slept with either boy unless you've gotten with one of Rio's friends casually prior to this or something like] Edie: [just out here doing the most from the jump, the fam must be like HELLO???] Liam: [shouldn't be here for it but I am] Edie: [we all are by all I mean us and them, no one else lol] Liam: [imagine how shook he'd be because didn't expect it to be like this] Edie: [awkward, like the levels you must pay attention to no one but Rio 'cos she isn't really conspicuous in how she be lol] Liam: [and if he did get with one of Rio's friends when he first started stalking her it clearly didn't work out so he's probably bracing himself for another failed attempt and then] Edie: [it makes logical sense, like tryna get in the friend group lowkey but none of her friends are really here for it[ Liam: [yeah and like in my head he started stalking Rio when his sister had just died so he wouldn't have been bringing his A game] Edie: [exactly dr phil] Liam: [but obviously nothing happened that she could clock as a red flag when she's thinking of suspects he was probably just really blah because numb] Edie: [yeah, and none of her friends are gonna chat shit on the boy who's sister just died really like it's to be expected] Liam: [it's a good cover like you said] Edie: [just sat here like it's so rude we're gonna kill Edie, as if it wasn't rude before] Liam: [I do feel so bad for him even though he literally fucks with Rio's entire life] Edie: [lol same, it's like if you could just stop doing that tah] Liam: [I think it's partly because we both know she ends up okay and living as happy a life as poss whereas he does not] Edie: [yeah, there's no hope and that's just sad, even if you were an absolute dick, like Ro, per example, still sad she dies for everyone else] Liam: [agreed] Edie: [and you aren't that insufferable boy which is just well] Liam: [nobody is, she's next level] Liam: [anyway also do your vandalism and have way more fun than you expected with that as well] Edie: [when it's just a moment for you immediately and you're all in] Liam: [do we wanna close the school or not let them destroy every bathroom in the place for various reasons lol?] Edie: [on the one hand, maybe get caught before you do every bathroom for that trouble mood, on the other, if you shamelessly upload it you'd get in more trouble for making the school look dumb and shit hmm, I think this time get caught and we'll let you be sneaky trouble causing nerds plenty of other times[ Liam: [I'm about that, we know you're both pretty distracted rn so] Edie: [it feels more legit for this instance, and we can separate you and they'd probably call Ali in for the drama of it] Liam: [you can work your way into the fam later boy you're trying to keep your gf highkey for now, I love the idea of both their mums getting called in and awkwardly meeting haha] Edie: [they'd lowkey want them to kick up a fuss and separate them for the school but Ali knows how well that works so it's like well soz you'll have to cope] Liam: [whereas his mum is the opposite, you know the sort never backs the kid and is just wholeheartedly like yes do whatever you think @ the school] Edie: [ahh the joys] Edie: [once that drama has unfurled and you're in your separate detention moments, sending him a pic from the school website of all the staff but she's digitally ❌d out all their eyes] Liam: I miss you too Edie: I hope so Liam: what else would I be doing? Edie: I don't know Edie: you are full of good ideas Liam: I was thinking about setting the fire alarm off Edie: an acceptable second to thinking about me constantly Edie: would hate to perish in a fire with all these cunts Liam: to be with you Liam: I'd get you before they made you line up in the playground for the head count Edie: then we can leave, like we planned Edie: they'll have let our mas fuck off by now Liam: 🗑🔥 Liam: boring if it wasn't for you Edie: you're like Edie: seeing a new colour Liam: maybe I should leave you there longer so you can work on your song about me Edie: don't though Edie: I know it sounds cliche but that's the only way I can explain how blindsided but transformed I feel from you Liam: you're the only person who's said it, don't think that's how cliches work Edie: I don't just say pretty things for the sake of it Edie: or anything Edie: I mean it, regardless of what it does or don't sound like Liam: I know you mean it Edie: if we both set one, it'll take them longer to get back inside Edie: hide and seek and we can finish what we started? Liam: you're on Edie: 3��⃣2️⃣1️⃣ Liam: 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣ Edie: [ahh this poor school lol] Liam: [love that you get to be notorious though gal cos peeps gonna be talking about these antics for ages] Edie: [in this fam you have to make your own rep or life is really hard junie and grace, I said what I said] Liam: [tea though] Liam: [I'm trying to think of somewhere cool they could go and my first thought was like a junkyard vibe so they can destroy more things like life is strange and sex education unless you have any better ideas] Edie: [that's always a mood, also very akin to the barn which will clearly be your domain so] Liam: [yeah and somewhere she's probably been loads of times that she knows all the hiding places of so they don't need to be interrupted again] Edie: [live your best destructive lives] Liam: [when he would be and lowkey forget what he's meant to be doing here, such fun, not devastating me at all] Edie: [the theme of these painful two years lmao, I'm so glad you never find out babe truly] Liam: [though ngl I wish you could survive and we could see if y'all as a couple could survive that] Edie: [ahh when you can't do it all, so rude] Liam: [could've had it all rolling in the deep] Edie: [soz you've got to die my love] Liam: [soz you both have, his poor mother] Edie: [yeah that is no fun] Liam: [soz both your kids are dead babe but we need it for the plot] Edie: [some people have the worst luck truly]

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: You about? Janis: Here all week, like Janis: what's up? Jimmy: put the 🎤 down, I've got a different gig for you Jimmy: less funny but still a pisstake Janis: How well does it pay/will I still be the headliner Janis: dealbreakers, boy Jimmy: That's two questions that have nowt to do with each other Jimmy: you don't need the 💰💰 like you need the limelight, rich girl Janis: Oh, just call me an attention whore, that'll seal the deal 🙄 Janis: I'm just filling space where your question ain't yet Jimmy: what should is how 💕😍 I'll be all over socials Jimmy: slag for heroic acts, me Janis: What an offer 😏 Janis: Go on then, how am I saving your life today Jimmy: you're saving my 🐕 Jimmy: if you can Janis: It down a well? Janis: wrong way 'round, that Jimmy: Would I need your help if I knew where it'd pissed off to? Janis: I don't know, give me some details to work with Janis: when did you notice, how'd it get out, etc Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: just come here and help me look Janis: Where are you then Janis: Jesus Jimmy: I know you can't multitask, how do you reckon you're gonna 🙏 and 🏃? Jimmy: [sends her his location which would random af cos stubborn enough to be looking for ages before he asked for her help obvs] Janis: That's my whole life, dickhead Janis: alright, don't know what your dog would be doing there but I'll be there asap Jimmy: write the book on your own time, mate Jimmy: give it a cameo if you find it Janis: Sweet, you gonna draw the pictures? Jimmy: How well's that pay? Janis: Depends how cute you draw the 🐕 Jimmy: [sends her a deliberately crap quick doodle] Jimmy: there you are Janis: Bestseller, like Janis: so much 💰💰 Jimmy: I never said I'd write it for you an' all Janis: yeah well your grasp on the English language ain't all that so Janis: thank fuck Jimmy: you gonna write it in 🍀? Thank feck I won't be able to read a word Jimmy: can only fake so much enthusiasm Janis: Yeah, you aren't great at that either Janis: but let's not focus on your many, many faults Jimmy: Stop flirting with me, I'm busy Janis: Shut up Janis: What can I do but annoy you 'til I get there Jimmy: Have a look at what you just wrote Jimmy: you might do step 1 Janis: Charming Janis: I've been great, tah Jimmy: if it makes you feel better, we can pretend the 🐕 legged it with my 👑 Janis: What actually happened, toad Janis: unlocked gate or not coming back on a walk Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: reckon I might get some convo there? Janis: 👍 for the tip Jimmy: next one'll be 💰 Jimmy: it were there, he threw a strop and chucked it out, now it ain't Janis: Bummer Janis: we'll find it, probably Janis: got a collar or any shit like that? Jimmy: [sends a picture of him holding it like 😒 cos Twix wasn't wearing it, thanks Ian you dick] Janis: 👎 Jimmy: well helpful, you Janis: I'm on my way, dickhead Janis: I can't summon the thing with my mind, soz, I know you think I'm special Jimmy: meant to be #suchanathlete Jimmy: get a move on, dickhead Janis: You know I live in the middle of nowhere Janis: give me 5, at least Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: You thought I'd moved, yeah Janis: no such 🍀 Jimmy: keep 🙏 for that fake ldr Janis: not having to be 👀 with you would be such a bonus Janis: conference call that shit in Jimmy: not having to kiss you would be massively beneficial to me Jimmy: can't afford to lose any more body parts Janis: we'll find your dog and your ear, stop complaining Jimmy: 💕 Janis: personally, I think you look better without it Jimmy: you've got shit taste Janis: That's you, we've covered that Jimmy: you Janis: 🙄 Janis: take the 🥇 Jimmy: you earned it Janis: oh please Janis: you've run the gauntlet of shit taste olympics Jimmy: don't need to beg for owt, just take it, babe Jimmy: it's alright Janis: be quiet and keep looking Jimmy: been looking for ages Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: 😕 Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: Your brother and sister helping you? Jimmy: That a dealbreaker an' all? Janis: Nah, just wondering Jimmy: if we can't find the 🐕 then I'll tell 'em Janis: No sense in upsetting 'em if you don't need to, yeah Jimmy: my dad don't need another knobhead 🏆 Jimmy: gonna have enough shit to pack up when we leave Janis: Right Janis: not really coming to protect your da though Janis: dogs cute though so Jimmy: I weren't gonna @ him that you 💕 him Jimmy: bit rude to Mr Lucas Janis: let's not pretend you're doing it on mine or his account though Janis: just don't want me to move in Jimmy: not as my step-mum Jimmy: it might be popular on other sites but it ain't likely to be #goals with our demographic Janis: The lads would like it but they're less vocal with their 💕 Jimmy: more about the body language Jimmy: one bit specifically Janis: doesn't translate well with insta likes and comments Janis: less you can get 'em with an accidental doubletap but their gfs are all over that shit Jimmy: got enough hysterical lasses in my DMs, tah Janis: the struggle is so real Janis: poor you, like Jimmy: [sends her a highlight reel cos imagine tbh] Janis: Do you reckon they ever reread what they write or just send Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: I reckon Bill's turning in his ⚰ Janis: romance is dead, mate Janis: 🥀 Jimmy: re-read and don't hit send, my dear Jimmy: we're trying to avoid 💔😭 for now Janis: 'course Janis: I didn't say dog Janis: optimistic, me Jimmy: won't have to chuck in a box if it is though Janis: don't be morbid Janis: only so much I can take after reading those messages Janis: feeling well 💀 Jimmy: You'll live Jimmy: I'm out of 🚬 so there's nowt but fresh air Janis: That's truly the most devastating thing you've ever said to me Janis: I can get some though Jimmy: You heard me say I've been 👀 for ages Janis: Poor stressed boy Jimmy: Don't take the piss Jimmy: I am Jimmy: I've got work in a bit Janis: 'course you are, your dog is missing Janis: I'm not far from you now so once I get the cigs and get there, I'll take over Jimmy: 👍 Janis: been looking on those cringey neighbourhood sites, if some do-gooder had got it or it'd been hit, it'd be on there and it ain't so that's something, yeah Jimmy: Tah Janis: no big Janis: I'm not a monster Jimmy: if I keep waking you this early, fuck knows what you'll end up looking like Janis: Funny Janis: I weren't asleep anyway, you're alright Jimmy: I get it, gotta stay 💪🏆 Janis: Vampires don't sleep, baby Jimmy: do in the day Jimmy: I should be tucking you in, instead of dragging you out Janis: Add it to your list of failings and crack on Jimmy: ✔ Janis: you smoke [brand] right? Jimmy: #whenshenoticestheshityoucareabout Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😂 Janis: Call it your defining feature Janis: along with the 😎 obvs Jimmy: duh Jimmy: nowt else going for me when this new boy shine wears through Janis: keep 🙏 for the day, like Jimmy: *🤞 Jimmy: me and JC don't know each other like that Janis: You don't know him, but he knows you Janis: not unlike your fans Jimmy: There's only room for one fit and mysterious lad round here so he'll have to do one back to the ☁ Janis: Hate the attention, you, well obvious 😏 Jimmy: I get it whether I want it or not Janis: They do Jesus dirty in the paintings Janis: can't compete with a selfie Jimmy: He knows what to do if he's fuming Janis: can't wait for the second coming when he fucks you right up Jimmy: #cancelled Jimmy: me either, sounds like a right laugh Janis: Miss me when I'm saved and you ain't Janis: how starcrossed ldr me from hell, bitch Jimmy: Suicide's a sin, baby, ain't you heard? Janis: so is most stuff, honestly Janis: but I'm 😇 looking Janis: gonna want me around Jimmy: no dickhead's hotter than 😈 don't you wanna be around him? Janis: 🙄 my type, yeah Jimmy: Do you want an answer for that? Janis: The devil loses in the end, you know Janis: back the winner Jimmy: love an underdog, me Jimmy: I get why you don't, rich girl Jimmy: probably get a 🦄☁ really kick that horse girl fantasy up a notch Janis: Animals don't have souls Janis: Catholic fun 101 Janis: gotta find your dog otherwise it's bad news all 'round Jimmy: 💔🐕⚰🎻☔ Janis: Cheery Janis: know you hate your job but plaster your customer service face on for me Jimmy: you inspired me with your little sermon there, like Janis: you deserved it, like Jimmy: For what? Janis: For implying I'd fuck the devil Jimmy: I never said owt of the sort Jimmy: just asking if you're off lads now 'cause of the one dickhead Janis: I don't think you can say all men are going to hell Janis: thought Asia would be 😍 for that sweeping statement Jimmy: I'll screenshot it for her Janis: 💘 Janis: cute Jimmy: where the fuck are you? Janis: ⛪ Janis: gotta go confess now, thanks a lot Janis: [sends actual location as she's coming up though like calm down] Jimmy: if you could rush it through 🤏 please Jimmy: I dunno, maybe pretend there's a character limit Janis: soz the priest is well invested in hearing all about me fucking the devil Jimmy: can't stop being goals, you Jimmy: come hell or high water Jimmy: tell him to put his 👅 and owt else back in Janis: Lord knows I may as well become a nun according to you Janis: get that good book and that good dick Jimmy: Oi I never said you should, I asked if you were Janis: Not really got the time, have I Jimmy: You've got all night 🧛 girl Jimmy: for a start Janis: When we're not fake out, sure Jimmy: I don't outstay my welcome at parties, that's the other dickhead Janis: This is all irrelevant Janis: and he can turn water into wine, he's never not welcome, boy Jimmy: I didn't mean him Janis: Now you're making it sound like I hooked up with Voldemort Jimmy: I dunno his name or @ do I? Janis: Ha, Harry, actually Jimmy: I never said I wanted to know it, but tah Janis: just trying to avoid Jesus related mixups, don't think he needs the ego boost if I'm honest Jimmy: 👌 Janis: This is you though, yeah Janis: hate to approach the wrong dickhead Janis: [waving like yo] Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Don't have a bottle of wine in my pocket that were water, soz, just that conditioned to be fake happy to see you Janis: [does 💔 hands 'right, show me where you usually walk her, the route, then you can fuck off whenever you need to'] Jimmy: [walking like a rude hoe not even gonna say hey or anything okay then] Janis: [just shrugging like okay then but purposefully keeping up pace so he can't march ahead] Jimmy: [we strutting in stressed silence] Janis: [on phone, but making a socials post like if you see this dog, 'cos Cass ain't gonna see it on hers so doesn't matter and could help] Jimmy: [nodding at her like thanks when he sees it] Janis: [shrugs again like nbd] Jimmy: [keep going lads that poor baby dog needs you] Janis: [hit all them doggy hotspots like the park etc] Jimmy: [I hope she's found a 🐕 friend or something so she's not all alone and forlorn] Janis: [my boo is #concerned] Jimmy: [I am, she's just a smol baby and they haven't trained her or anything] Janis: [least we aren't being too evil] Jimmy: [I could NEVER] Janis: [asking relevant Twix questions 'cos you care but also to have some convo] Jimmy: [acting like you don't know cos you hate that dog so much #lies] Janis: [lowkey like why am i looking then boy but just via looks not actually gonna say it] Jimmy: [basically being like don't then as if you haven't asked for her help with exactly this] Janis: [walks ahead like I'll keep doing this but we don't need to do this] Jimmy: [keeps up because doesn't wanna be his moody af father] Janis: [looks at him like alright?] Jimmy: [just looking back her because no but god forbid you talk about it ever] Janis: [makes face like yeah, I know and goes in her pocket 'nearly forgot' and hands him the cigarettes] Jimmy: [we know the drill by now, ladies first without even asking which works as a lowkey sorry for being a prick rn too so] Janis: ['cheers'] Jimmy: [the most dramatic exhale of smoke/sigh but not deliberately dramatic just how he's feeling rn cos he's running out of places to look like Twix where you at babe] Janis: [gently nudges his side with her shoulder like it'll be okay but not saying that 'cos can't promise it so, running ahead when you see a dog walker to ask if they've seen any dogs on their own] Jimmy: ? Janis: [jogging back over but not coming fully, like you gotta follow me 'she reckons there was a dog that didn't seem to be with anyone in [a park but not Twix's usual lol]'] Jimmy: [does follow her even though he probably doesn't know where that even is because literally me and could get lost anywhere] Janis: [now gotta search every bush in this park like hellooo] Jimmy: [gotta call her name like that's not lowkey awks for someone so 😎] Jimmy: [also I know this is serious business but 100% needs to push her into a bush like my mum did to me/ jump out from behind one just because] Janis: [we all know you're not cool but yeah, some pet names are really awks if you have to shout them lmao, also yes, even if you jump way more than you normally would 'cos tense situ and then you're 😒] Jimmy: [loling too much because it's one of those days and you gotta but not gonna help her 😒 face you'll have to get your own back gal] Janis: [just handing him some dog luring food she got and jogging off like I'll go this way] Jimmy: [she should get her because start of a beautiful friendship] Janis: [I vibe, I'll see if I have a pic of them were she looks buzzing/smug enough lol] Jimmy: [when you hug the bae because you're so relieved that the kids won't kick off or your dad or your manager cos you won't be late now but also because she stayed and actually helped you and like who does that ever] Janis: [Twix like lemme get in on that 'cos full of love] Jimmy: [shoutout to the mvp she is for stopping that becoming too much of a moment] Janis: [and being awkward or anything like that god bless 'see, all alright, yeah'] Jimmy: [when he's probably holding this dog cos 1. don't run off again and 2. she's hyper af and needs to be licking his face and snuggling him so he's 😒 and a look like is it though but we know you love Twix really] Janis: [lols 'she knows you missed her, like, you can't hide it'] Jimmy: [lowkey throws the dog at her with a piss off kinda look] Janis: [gives Twix some love and a 🙄 at him but not harsh] Jimmy: [does it back because always] Janis: ['no excuse to skive off work now though' face like gutted] Jimmy: ['you could've offered to phone in fake sick for me, bit rude' cos throwforward to when we actually did that haha] Janis: ['if they let their barista boys have time off for every new girl, they'd go out of business' shoutout to your hot colleagues the flat whites sexually harass] Jimmy: [oh pete I love you my darling but meanwhile Jimmy is just shrugging cos wouldn't care if the CG did tbh] Janis: [punching, there should be another word for that 'cos sounds so violent I just mean a friendly tap like, his arm, 'come on, I need the limelight, you need the paycheck'] Jimmy: ['you coming in for a latte then?' we 👀 you shamelessly wanting to spend time with her boy, deliberately saying latte because she would NEVER] Janis: [scoffs in DISGUST honey 'not your real girlfriend, boy, though with the heartbreak she's probably just necking double espressos, right?'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [shakes head 'drumming up business and a bae, so evil, you are' as if you didn't send the message lol] Jimmy: ['You did the evil deed, Judith, square that one with your priest an' all'] Janis: ['or, did I do you all a favour, think on that'] Jimmy: [shakes his head like you've only done me this one favour rn ever] Janis: ['that's alright, no need for a thank you card'] Jimmy: [writes leave it out in the air with a flourish] Janis: [😏 'when's your shift then and what are you gonna do with the dog?'] Jimmy: [does her trick of checking an imaginary watch 'might chuck an apron on her and give her a go with the steam wand' but we know he's really gonna nip home first so Twix can snuggle with the kids cos had an exciting morning and she just a baby] Janis: ['you really gonna give employee of the month away just like that' does loser sign then looks around like hmm, 'cos you in town now, what are you gonna do, ensue awks] Jimmy: ['Reckon I'm safe, it'll be all them espressos if nowt else' just lowkey drags her along with him, bit rude] Janis: [just like umm excuse me but doesn't not come along like] Jimmy: [looks at her and the dog and back like she's not home yet, the job's not done 'won't get fake girlfriend of the month by taking the piss'] Janis: [dramatic gasping like oh no 'I'm the only fake girlfriend you have, babe, 'less it's your ultimate #kinkunlocked'] Jimmy: [dramatic gasp back like he's been busted] Janis: ['it's alright, already knew you were a pervert' accidental LOOK] Jimmy: ['before you agreed or after?' and a LOOK back of course] Janis: ['that'd be telling'] Jimmy: ['So go on'] Janis: [shakes head 'who knew or knows anything about you, mystery boy?'] Jimmy: [winks at Twix as if she knows all his secrets] Janis: ['nerd' but we all know she thinks it's cute] Jimmy: ['Oi, you barely know her' cos he is a nerd] Janis: [gives her more fuss 'the bitch is cool'] Jimmy: ['steady on, she won't fit through the door'] Janis: 'but if we can wedge her in, she won't be able to get back out' taps head like tada 'you just hate when anyone else gets compliments'] Jimmy: ['Busted again, me. You're proper on one this morning, mate'] Janis: ['always am, you're just in a good mood 'cos your bestie is back'] Jimmy: [snorts like if you say so] Janis: ['ignore him, he's a right moody dickhead most the time' @Twix] Jimmy: ['ignore her, right comedian so she reckons, might get the hint one of these days' also @ twix] Janis: ['She knows who saved her, mate, team me all the way'] Jimmy: ['go on and take her home with you, hate to break both your hearts, obvs'] Janis: ['hate to break your little brother's though'] Jimmy: ['my sister would fight you for her any road, a black eye ain't gonna be goals like the bruises I give you'] Janis: [lols 'there we go then, shoulda kept that to yourself if you were tryna get me sparked out'] Jimmy: [gives her a OTT scandalised look like why would I do that 'if it ain't #goals it ain't a goal of mine, Jules'] Janis: [a look like yeah right] Jimmy: ['if you wanna have a scrap, crack on with pulling Asia's hair or something'] Janis: [🙄 'bitch fight ain't my scene, even faking it, soz to the punters who'd love it'] Jimmy: [the heartbroken hand mime again] Janis: ['such a boy' looking at Twix like can you believe him?] Jimmy: [looks down at himself like he's so shook cos biggest nerd] Janis: ['not a compliment, Pinocchio'] Jimmy: ['isn't it?'] Janis: ['I knew you were a boy, you can have that if you're short on love'] Jimmy: ['bit busy @ing my dad about how much of a lad you reckon I am, hang on'] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [lights another 🚬 cos 1. it's been a minute 2. such a lad 3.😎] Janis: #ladsladslads Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: such a flirt, you Janis: just so manly, bears repeating, obvs Jimmy: [nudges her like go on then tell the fans] Jimmy: gonna make me 😳 if you keep on Janis: Let me know if you've got it in you and I'll add it 'fore I hit send, like Jimmy: let me know if you've got it in you, more like Janis: You reckon I can't make you blush? Jimmy: do you reckon you can? Jimmy: that's the question Janis: Obviously I can Jimmy: What are you waiting for, a written invitation? Janis: Shut up Janis: I'm busy over here Jimmy: you're chatting bollocks over there Janis: The world needs to know the 🐶 is alive and well and you're such a #lad if you don't mind Jimmy: convenient timing that Janis: only a performing monkey when there's a crowd, you know that Jimmy: [a look like yeah right] Janis: [kicking his ankles like shh and not looking at him] Janis: you still owe me a good idea anyway Jimmy: I said blush not bleed, babe Janis: know what I prefer Jimmy: #kinkunlocked ages ago 🧛 girl Janis: then be nice and give me what I want Jimmy: [gives her a look like what do you want] Janis: [the 'you know' coming out before you can even think to stop yourself, then shaking your head and pointing at your fangs with a smirk like duh] Jimmy: [sets his phone camera on a timer like this is how long you've got to try and make me 😳 or bleed and gestures her over to a bench like] Janis: [doing a big sigh as if you're all ugh but really it's 'cos you're nervous but shh, once he's sat down, sitting in his lap of course but making a point of seeing if you're in-frame so we've got the pretense for how real you're shamelessly gonna be, looking at him properly 'Jimmy, I missed you'] Jimmy: [saying her name back because the only other time he has was when he was annoyed and that is simply not allowed thank you and hitting her with the 😍 #tooreal] Janis: [shuffling closer to him into his lap somehow when he says your name and smoothing his hair off his face with both hands then letting them come to rest on his shoulders, giving them a little massage 'I mean it' #whenthecameraisrollingandyouvebeenchallenegedsoyoucansaythisisallpretendifyouhaveto #adangerousgame] Jimmy: [so into it and would be even if he hadn't had the most stressful morning ever but because he has and because we can say it's fake SUCH A SOUND 'I know, I can tell' #boywhyhaveyoustartedsomethingyouliterallyhaveworktogotosoon] Janis: ['Can you tell just how bad though?' when moving closer has turned into grinding on him shamelessly] Jimmy: [a nod because speaking is dangerous rn fake or real] Janis: ['what else do you wanna know?'] Jimmy: ['What else do you want me to know?'] Janis: [tilting your head to one side like you're thinking, still rubbing his shoulders 'depends'] Jimmy: [his eyes closing because it feels nice which is not the word tbh 'on what?' because I have to ask] Janis: [little kisses on his eyelids then whispering in his ear 'if you're ready to know it all'] Jimmy: [have to kiss her to keep it vague and save our lives because is that a this is how ready I am or is it I'm kissing you so I don't have to answer] Janis: [either way, a kiss moment honey] Jimmy: [like we know the answer lads but we can't out Jimothy that hard right here right now so gotta keep you guessing babe] Janis: [finally breaking off the kiss, so reluctantly, 'Did you blush?'] Jimmy: [gives her his phone so she can look because shamelessly buying himself some recovery time after that] Janis: [not getting off him, just resting your head on his chest whilst you watch this back like comfy are we] Jimmy: [just playing with her hair like you're trying to fix whatever mess you made of it during that kiss, we see your flimsy excuse boy cos you're not being that soft about it rn] Janis: [making a noise like did you have to or can you legitimately not help it rn] Jimmy: [if he wasn't blushing before he is now thank god she's looking at this phone] Janis: ['that was definitely a blush there' pointing at some point in that recording like see, looking up at him 'you look cute'] Jimmy: ['you're taking the piss' because works for both things she said and he's a boy of few words] Janis: [shakes head like nu-uh] Jimmy: [pokes her like yeah you are] Janis: [boops his nose like no I'm not] Jimmy: [still has his hand on her waist after poking her so tickles her of course] Janis: ['don't drop me' so dramatically] Jimmy: [fakes like he is gonna drop her which makes twix cray] Janis: [just a look like see? she loves me] Jimmy: [such a dramatic sigh like ugh he's so over you both #lies] Janis: ['be nice'] Jimmy: ['or what?'] Janis: [raising a brow 'you're ready to find that out, yeah?'] Jimmy: [raises his own back at her 'why wouldn't I be? The scaredy cat's you'] Janis: [puts a finger to his lips dramatically like shh and nods to Twix 'she'll hear you'] Jimmy: [irl 👍 because good I hope she do] Janis: ['you're so jealous of our love, honestly'] Jimmy: ['bit busy with my own, she's a handful, like' oh Asia god bless] Janis: ['yeah I've heard about her cup size, thanks' 🙄] Jimmy: [lil lol] Janis: [finally getting off him like hmpf on the low] Jimmy: ['you've got nowt to be jealous of' is he being real or fake we'll never know] Janis: ['duh' and getting up up 'better get this dog back or you'll be late'] Jimmy: [literally has never wanted to go to work less in his life but come on lads] Janis: [we just walking along merrily like that didn't happen] Jimmy: [#socasual] Janis: [so casual nbd we're all friends here, is gonna need a 🚬 though but never asking just accosting him like 'scuse me] Jimmy: [do something else with your hands and mouths kids, cos you know he has to have one too even though he's had so many today already] Janis: [oh Twix, you rascally babe] Jimmy: [it's all Ian's fault as per] Janis: [at least something good came of it but not getting the credit for that] Jimmy: ['gonna have to get her chipped' thinking out loud cos you know Ian hasn't sorted that or wants the expense] Janis: [nods 'don't take a second, like'] Jimmy: [a look like that's good cos when do I have a sec but then shrugs cos gonna be so unbothered] Janis: [shrugs back 'might be just as easy to look at your fence sitch for puppy-sized holes'] Jimmy: ['I get it, I'm SUCH a lad, no need to go overboard' 😏] Janis: [shakes head 😏 'alright, get your sister to if you can't deal'] Jimmy: ['volunteering to wake her up and tell her to crack on, are you?' 😏 'Tah, babe, willing to go proper above and beyond, you'] Janis: [noise like psh no thank you lol 'way above my paygrade, ask Asia, I'd happily watch that'] Jimmy: [such a lol] Janis: [actual smile] Jimmy: [control your 😍 boy by nodding at the dog 'reckon you've done enough for a bit' cos genuinely is grateful we know] Janis: [forget about it gesture 'favour for the dog, really'] Jimmy: ['probably would've been kinda to let her find a new bunch of dickheads' when you're joking but you're also actually not] Jimmy: [*kinder] Janis: ['now you tell me' but nudges him like come on, you ain't that bad] Jimmy: [nudges her back 'yeah 'cause I missed you an' all' is he being fake about needing to see her so bad #theanswerisno] Janis: [looks at Twix like ?! 'is this even your dog?' 😏] Jimmy: ['Nah' cos lbr he's too 😎 for a dog like this thanks for that Ian] Janis: ['OMG, you're like soulmates' 🖤 hands] Jimmy: [gives her a look cos she said Twix was her true love and he was jealous before, like make your mind up] Janis: ['that's why you're jealous' points at Twix 'player'] Jimmy: ['you wish, dickhead'] Janis: [a look like obvs, dickhead] Jimmy: [blows a smoke ring at her in a sassy manner like there's your 💍] Janis: [waves it away 'show-off'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby'] Janis: ['have to show me how to do it sometime, like'] Jimmy: ['I'll edit it to look like you got the knack first time, keep shit goals'] Janis: [😒 'be a better teacher then, wanker'] Jimmy: ['I've already got owt else that Mr Lucas could possibly want, be cruel that'] Janis: ['cept my heart, but shh'] Jimmy: ['far as he knows I have'] Janis: ['he all up on the socials, you reckon?' face like ew] Jimmy: ['first in, last out' and a dramatic shiver like GROSS] Janis: ['least he won't dob us in if he wants more of that sweet, sweet #content' irl equivalent of 🤢] Jimmy: [sighs like our work's never done 'UGH, we'll just have to find another way to get in trouble at school' and a LOOK] Janis: [a LOOK back 'basically my specialty'] Jimmy: ['don't sound like you that' because she's so 😇 obvs] Janis: ['wait and see' 'cos you only did that one project together then school trip] Jimmy: ['Alright' when you're agreeing to still be doing this after the holidays unthinkingly there] Janis: [probably get to his house, assumedly the first time] Jimmy: [go throw Twix in with those snoozy kids and get ready for work quickly sir] Janis: [jus' chillin' like why am I still here lowkey] Jimmy: put the kettle on, rich girl Jimmy: [draws her a doodle of one like she's never seen one because got staff] Janis: 😱 Janis: don't know how you take your tea Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you better leave Janis: this fake relationship just proved too fake Jimmy: we're over, off you go Janis: would you rather I guess and give you a shit cup Janis: come on Jimmy: might do Jimmy: but if you ain't up for the challenge Janis: You're ridiculous Janis: but fine Jimmy: #mayberidiculouswillbeouralways Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [did I fever dream that they take their tea the same way which was milk and two sugars? because I'm sure we said that in another convo but idk] Janis: [I also remember that and is how she's gonna make it so get ready to FALL IN LOVE BOY] Jimmy: [he's not gonna be able to control the 😍] Janis: would sir like his tea upstairs or down? Jimmy: [appears like the 👻 he is looking like a snack in his barista uniform which realistically she might not have seen before this] Janis: [when he actually looks good so you have to be OTT fake about it] Jimmy: [when you try the tea and you're like!!! so you have to be all like 'Oi' and call her a cheat] Janis: ['how could I, you got it written down somewhere in case you forget?' lols] Jimmy: [do the I'm watching you thing @ her all 😒] Janis: ['you just take your tea the only correct way, doesn't mean we're fated, calm down'] Jimmy: ['keep that to yourself' drinking that excellent tea] Janis: [🤐] Jimmy: [unzips her like but drink your tea] Janis: ['nerd' but does, of course] Jimmy: [holds his finger up like when you have an aha moment and starts looking in her mouth like a dentist in the manner of oh while it's unzipped lemme just] Janis: ['gross!' moving away so faux offended 'what are you doing, weirdo?'] Jimmy: ['lost an earring, gotta check you ain't swallowed it, girl' such a nerd goodbye] Janis: ['vampire, not a thief' look like how dare you] Jimmy: [' still stole my heart though' cos gotta be OTT fake sometimes] Janis: [finger guns at his chest] Jimmy: [gun at his head and death again] Janis: ['hot'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: 'who's on shift today?' like she knows] Jimmy: [shrugs because could not care less] Janis: [tuts but 😏] Jimmy: [gestures like come on let's go find out] Janis: [shrugs like okay 'I've got a few to kill'] Jimmy: [nods to the imaginary watch cos it's unspoken acknowledgement that the flat whites won't be there that early and she can leave before they are] Janis: ['heaven forbid they leave the house before applying 50 layers of foundation, shit is time-consuming'] Jimmy: [so triggered thinking about his northern ex rn like the horrified facial expression would be so genuine] Janis: [nod of approval 'good acting'] Jimmy: [does the polishing his medal he's wearing mime] Janis: [when it's your nametag 'who the fuck is Jamie?'] Jimmy: ['you ain't met him? honestly gutted for you'] Janis: ['will he be on shift today?' skipping like you're so buzzing at the prospect] Jimmy: ['wait and see' cos word theft] Janis: ['ugh, tease'] Jimmy: ['Not trying to turn you on, calm down'] Janis: ['Jamie might be' shrug like don't count me out yet tah] Jimmy: [shrugs back 'he's a starving artist, owt for tips'] Janis: ['fuck you' 😒] Jimmy: ['fuck him, being right dickhead makes him your type'] Janis: ['good' like I intend to, oh honey lol] Jimmy: 'good' boy how you gonna be jealous of someone who doesn't exist] Janis: [when it's literally you lmao] Jimmy: [also he so hasn't posted that bench moment let it be known] Janis: [that's for the best literally no one has asked for that content] Jimmy: [haven't deleted it though have you my dear 👀 you] Janis: [we all know that was shameless so we're not thinking or talking about it ladeeda] Jimmy: [get into work boy, get busy cos we know you're thinking about fuck all else] Janis: [chilling not at all casually at a table] Jimmy: [make her that first ever 💣 smoothie please and thank] Janis: that your specialty? Jimmy: what? Janis: smoothies and juices and shit Jimmy: @CG_FAQ or whatever it is Janis: I get it, you're very busy Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: [serves some business person trying to get a coffee but is looking at her like 🙄😏] Janis: [💔 hands and shamelessly having a nose at his co-workers] Jimmy: [Pete is 100% there, hey babe] Jimmy: So? Go on then Janis: ? Jimmy: Do you like it? Janis: I didn't ask if it were your specialty to take the piss, like Janis: s'good Jimmy: I'll @ my manager Janis: I can do it for you Janis: seems appropraitely fake girlfriend of me Jimmy: I get it, it would be goals to get sacked for having a scrap with him when he's 😍 for you Jimmy: 🥇 plan Janis: I'm not getting you sacked Janis: how many IOUs would that warrant, like, no thanks Jimmy: you're meant to want to spend every second of every day with me, play the game, Janet Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend Janis: fine Janis: just 🤞 he's the hot one Janis: [going to chat to Pete] Jimmy: he ain't here, wouldn't have to @ him if he were Jimmy: the accent ain't that hard to understand Janis: oh well, now he'll pass that along for you Jimmy: Tah Janis: [sits back down like you're welcome] Jimmy: you hungry? Janis: I could eat Jimmy: [gets her whatever sucks the least] Janis: Tah Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Steady on, nowt on the menu's 👍 Janis: that was for you Janis: if I go up to the tip jar now I'll just look keen Jimmy: 💕 Janis: is that for me? Jimmy: Do you see any of my other girlfriends about? Janis: [does fake check] Janis: thankfully not Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: so special Jimmy: you're alright Janis: 😂 Jimmy: I mean it Janis: Alright then Janis: you too Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I don't want your tacked on you an' all Janis: well I mean it too Janis: I can't say it 'cos you got in there first, psh Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: dry your eyes and eat your food, mate Janis: alright, dad Janis: focus on one job at a time Jimmy: edit that nickname a bit and you're good to # Janis: we're not fake there yet Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Sorry Janis: know you're the right age but that's about it Jimmy: RUDE Janis: Shh Jimmy: I will not Jimmy: and there's nowt you can do about it Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't you hate a chatty barista Jimmy: I ain't serving you Jimmy: already have done Janis: yeah, some daddy 😏 Jimmy: funny Janis: you've got my best work for the day Janis: 'til I workout anyway Jimmy: lucky me Janis: don't be rude Janis: saved your life Jimmy: you started it Janis: If you want me to call you that, put it in a contract and get me to sign Janis: that's not rude Jimmy: twist your own arm and 🖋🩸 your own oath, bit busy here Janis: Very impressed Jimmy: admitting how easily you are ain't very 🥇 Jimmy: you might wanna 🤐 Janis: Not got time for sarcasm either? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: When have I ever had time for your pisstaking? Janis: awh 😭 Jimmy: enjoy the 🎻🎻 I left you both your 👂s Janis: well aren't you generous Janis: tell everyone how not hard you go with it Jimmy: that rich v poor divide just keeps rearing it's head #awks Jimmy: and you're in the wrong 🗨 if you reckon every word's getting screenshotted Jimmy: @💀👑 not 😎🚬 Janis: oh, you mean my true love, yeah Jimmy: if the hair extensions fit Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'm gonna go see where they're @ Janis: brb Janis: [out tha door] Jimmy: in a bit Jimmy: [but watching her go like a forlorn 🐕] Janis: [going to the gym obvs 'cos got to go work this out can't sit in the tension this long without needing a moment] Jimmy: [do some work bitch but not actually because I like to imagine him drawing Twix on a wanted poster but doing an ^ un next to the wanted to sass her and posting that at some point #arthoe] Janis: [puppydog eyes selfie you do not need to send re. that poster] Jimmy: You pull a muscle? Jimmy: Hang on, I'll be right there to carry you out Janis: Defending my lady from your savage and swift pen, thank you very much Jimmy: go on Janis: Come here and I'll 🥊 ya Janis: only got the 🥺'til then, and it's harder to make you 😳 from afar too Janis: besides, wouldn't wanna make your customers even more inappropriate with you, even you don't deserve that, like Jimmy: if the subject of my 🎨 was such a dealbreaker you should've stuck around to be inspiring Jimmy: but alright, the selfie's a start Janis: A start, yeah? Jimmy: you heard Janis: Aside from my blood, what else do you want/require? Jimmy: is that a trick question? Janis: No Janis: wanna be as 🥇 a muse as a fake girlfriend Jimmy: if you were 🥇 you wouldn't need me to tell you owt Janis: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: and you're meant to teach me how to blow smoke rings too Jimmy: I'm due a break, gimme a shout when you're done 💪 Janis: don't you wanna take a break break Janis: my current muse abilities will get me through the day alright Jimmy: and you admitting what hard work you are will get me through this shift alright Janis: that'll be why you want me to come back Jimmy: take both my jobs seriously, me Janis: hard work, I remember Janis: another #kinkunlocked Janis: I can give you that punishment, if you really want Jimmy: hot Janis: of course Janis: not a total amateur Jimmy: fooled me Janis: piss off Jimmy: [a little doodle he's drawn of her based on that selfie she sent but a deliberately quick one so we don't get into the #feels of drawing her properly yet] Janis: 🎨🖌 Jimmy: you looked cute Jimmy: [cos gotta steal her words from earlier] Janis: dead convincing, babe 😏 Janis: am I still coming or have you powered through with that picture? Jimmy: Do you still wanna come or are you too 😍💕 to be around me now you've 👀 that masterpiece? Janis: Obviously I need a moment Jimmy: duh Janis: not just to shower or anything, like Janis: full swooning time Jimmy: I get it, making lasses go weak at the knees is my full time occupation Jimmy: ☕ just a prop Janis: Do you pay tax on that? Jimmy: Who sounds like a dad now? Janis: 💰💰 is all I care about, of course Jimmy: with the wrong lad then Janis: take the bragging right of being just that good then, eh Jimmy: you trying to make me 😳 from afar? Jimmy: never stop, you Janis: that a request or a comment? Jimmy: What do you reckon? Janis: Maybe I'll pretend it's the option I prefer regardless Jimmy: can do Janis: tah for the permission Jimmy: well generous, me Jimmy: you said it Janis: I mostly meant it and all 😘 Jimmy: never said owt you don't, obvs 😘 Janis: especially not to you, baby Jimmy: stop making me miss you if you ain't showing up Janis: Stop distracting me and I'll be with you sooner Jimmy: you started it Janis: I purposely left so I didn't Janis: 😇 Jimmy: you did it before you left Janis: when? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I wanna know what distracted you Jimmy: you do Janis: Okay Janis: I wish you would tell me Jimmy: I don't have the words Jimmy: Bill's 👻 ain't here Janis: What's his order? Janis: tell me that Jimmy: Macchiato Jimmy: he's a slag for espresso but he 💕 foam 🎨 Janis: 😂 Janis: good answer, you really know all your customers Jimmy: that employee of the month 🏆 as good as has Jamie on it Janis: wait Janis: 😑 ugh Jimmy: ? Janis: Jamie isn't real Jimmy: What? Jimmy: 'course he is Jimmy: 👀 right at him Janis: 💔 Janis: why would you hurt me like this Janis: I was so excited to 👀 him Jimmy: He's got all the words for how distracting you are Jimmy: I probably shouldn't let you see him Janis: Please Jimmy: I dunno, he's a bit keen Janis: how keen? Jimmy: Bill'd be about it Janis: intriguing Jimmy: he is that Janis: How can I meet him? Jimmy: Haven't you got a plan? Jimmy: must not be that keen yourself Janis: I've only got to prove to Jamie how keen I am Jimmy: 🤞 he's easier to impress than me Janis: as easy as you are to make blush, I'll be 🤤 Jimmy: unless it's as easy as you are to make 😳 you'll be 💔 Janis: Do you want me to be 💔? Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Won't it be awkward for you? Janis: me and Jamie Jimmy: You doing this to try and make shit awkward for me? Bill will be gutted he missed the #drama Janis: That's not what I'm trying to do Jimmy: We've covered that I don't care what you do, Jules Janis: That's alright then Janis: I'll crack on Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what? Janis: you've made me so 😭 Jimmy: Baby Janis: make it up to me? Jimmy: how? Janis: hmm Jimmy: Oi, don't leave me in suspense Janis: I mean, what's a fair trade for making Jamie so hot and so fake really Janis: you owe me more than a cigarette Jimmy: nowt ain't fair trade here, what do you want? Janis: 😏 Janis: nerd Jimmy: hate to disappoint Janis: Baby, you could never Jimmy: if you're 😭 I've let myself down though Janis: depends Janis: that lot are so permanently 😭 they must consider it goals Jimmy: Nah, you just can't put nowt they do in the #goals category Janis: you know how to make me 😊 Jimmy: you look so goals when you are, I have to Jimmy: it's a 🥇😊 Janis: 😳 easy, yeah Jimmy: take the 🏆 Janis: alright Jimmy: is it? Janis: why wouldn't it be? Jimmy: It's not usually that easy Janis: you've told me three times now, hard work Jimmy: I know, it were me who said it Janis: yeah Janis: a lot gets said Jimmy: loads of # an' all Janis: it's like reading between the lines Jimmy: @ Bill's 👻 Janis: okay, convo 💀 got it Jimmy: come on Janis: Bill's is a macchiato, so I've heard Jimmy: He'll take a cold brew if it's ☀ Janis: Make me hate him more, honestly Jimmy: he's just trying to stay #relevant Janis: oh Bill 💔 Janis: ain't we all? Jimmy: would love to be irrelevant, me Jimmy: it's a hard life being this fit and mysterious 🎻💔 Janis: preaching to the preacher Janis: what a cross to bear Jimmy: don't rub it in that he's only got 😍 for you, girl Jimmy: 💔👴 Jimmy: I'm so 😭😭 and 😠😠 Janis: Oh baby boy Janis: I don't think a sexy old man costume is gonna be convincing enough Janis: gotta let you spread your wings Jimmy: too right it won't Janis: Well, I'm so SORRY I'm not enough for you! Jimmy: you should be Janis: you are so rude OMG Jimmy: you're so young and fit, it's well out of order Jimmy: what am I meant to do with that? Jimmy: gimme something to work with here, for fuck's sake Janis: God, when I signed up for a pervy older boyfriend, this is NOT how I imagined it Janis: fetishize my innocence ffs! Janis: like, you aren't even gonna try and use my inexperience to your advantage, WTF?! Jimmy: I dunno what to tell you, Joanne, dad's are a disappointment Jimmy: fucked if that weren't the type of daddy you were hoping for Janis: 😂 Janis: my own ain't such goals I'm tryna get another just like him, nah Jimmy: and I ain't got the 💰💰💰 so that's pissed on that angle Janis: guess it don't make no sense to keep you about Jimmy: on you go Jimmy: keep walking Janis: it's not been real Jimmy: it were real, baby and we were 🥇 Janis: 💕 Janis: very 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Jimmy: nowt to live for now Janis: nowt to die for either Janis: but if you're ready to take that break now, Mr Brightside Janis: [showing up outside like hello] Jimmy: [appears as fast as he can considering he's meant to be working hard] Janis: ['alright?'] Jimmy: ['you?' because can never answer anything ugh] Janis: [nods but the slightly awkward vibe again 'cos becoming less clear what's fake, what's pisstake and what's real every day yo] Jimmy: [ain't that the tea, lights them both a 🚬 cos of course he does] Janis: [takes it, grateful for the distraction as per, after a while, getting more comfortable in front of him again 'you are a dickhead though'] Jimmy: [gives her such an offended look like excuse you 'yeah but what've I done now?'] Janis: [taps his name badge like hi, Jamie but smirks and shrugs 'don't actually owe me anything for it though, guess I see the potential funny side of it when you're surrounded by dull basic bitches all day every day, like'] Jimmy: [takes off the badge and chucks it dramatically even though he'll have to pick that up before he goes back in but the gesture stands like ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?] Janis: [lols 'yes, that is exactly what I wanted, you nutter'] Jimmy: ['Good'] Janis: [just doing the thing where you're trying not to look so you just keep doing lots of little looks] Jimmy: ['What we doing in a bit?' because you're already thinking about her leaving after this and you don't want to not see her later] Janis: [shrugs again 'until our peers actually wake up and plan parties, the diary's free' 'cos most teens are so lazy compared to these two so who knows yet, oh I was thinking though we should do a rave and/or a festival moment with them in this hol both would work well as prolonged fake dating but also the scenes are busy enough they wouldn't have to be ON the whole time but we know they would 'cos shameless] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaaaaaaaas I love that, we could totally do both like a rave in a warehouse moment that's just a night but then a festival that's a couple of days maybe because he'd be so ! about leaving the kids behind then but not something he can take them to] Jimmy: ['we could do' cos imagine them trying to plan a party please] Janis: [I agree, I think they're both valid plans, 'cos everyone could be at both, so we can have whatever we wanna/need to happen happen] Janis: [raises her brows like whaaaa but then tilts her head like she's thinking about it 'well we are basically prom king and queen of the moment so'] Jimmy: ['I get that you might be worried 'cause of being a massively shit host but you'll have me' 😏] Janis: [tuts at him loudly 'like I actually want any of the cunts 'round here to ever have a good time' a look like do you know who you're talking to rn but then 😏 'would be worth it to beat them at their own game though, obviously'] Jimmy: ['we need somewhere we can properly trash, so we can have a good time if nowt else' because not doing it at his gaff cos of the kids as much as I'd love to annoy Ian and we want somewhere aesthetic because art hoe] Janis: [taps her head like good idea and now I'm thinking on it] Jimmy: ['I hadn't forgot I owed you one, babe, but you've still gotta help a new boy out on the actual where, soz' scrunches his face up like ugh I know, I'm the WORST] Janis: [squishing his squishy face always 'don't reckon even MY bathroom is big enough to host a decent party, sadly' #bathgateforever] Jimmy: [grins because that's given him an idea 'Alright but how badly do you want your REAL boyfriend's and biggest fan's attention? 'cause there's one place I've yet to get lost on my way to'] Janis: [the IRL equivalent of ? but excited with it like tell me bitch] Jimmy: ['how about we do it at school, my dear'] Janis: ['okay, that's a really fucking good idea' the biggest 😈 grin] Jimmy: [when you're buzzing because you thought she'd say no because of all the possible trouble you could get in, which we know is why you're doing it Jimothy the mood being fuck you Ian 5eva] Janis: [little do you know how ready she is to burn it all to the ground at any point lmao 'I'd kiss you if that weren't a punishment'] Jimmy: [irl 😘 'you know how Bill feels about lasses who doth protest'] Janis: [when we all know you meant it the other way 'round and the temptation to say as much is REAL but trumped by the desire to see this plan through/keep being 'friends' so you just smirk and hit him with a 'yeah, yeah' and move on with details 'I reckon most people will be dead up for it, long as they can run and deny all knowledge of the who and the how when shit hits the fan, like'] Jimmy: ['tonight then?' because the EGO of this boy who thinks he can pull this together and off in a few hours] Janis: ['why not' flicking the remains of her cigarette away with a flourish 'use how fast news travels 'round here to our advantage, as per' shrugs 'standard, really'] Jimmy: ['the dress code's black, that's the hill I'll die on' flips down imaginary 😎] Janis: ['fine by me' runs tongue across imaginary fangs like duh 'they can always fall back on their school uniform if they get stuck, bit cliche for my taste but they are so' a what can you do? shrug] Jimmy: ['pjs for you, girl, better hit the shops now if you're down to the emergency pink pair, like' shrugs back but 😏 as he looks at his actual real watch] Janis: [rolls her eyes at the suggestion and the implication she wears pink PJs, pushes him gently towards the door 'get back to work so we can get to work sooner, I'll catch you later'] Jimmy: [just looking at her because he does not want to gdi but then has to add an OTT pout because too real] Janis: [likewise so obviously has to be as OTT back 'parting is such sweet sorrow, yeah babe?'] Jimmy: [when you just hug her again like you did earlier before you can stop yourself like okay this is a thing we're doing with each other now bye] Janis: [just leaning into that like you're such a hugger usually sure] Jimmy: [we're just friends who casually hug yep] Janis: [so casual] Jimmy: [go back in and try not be distracted by your feelings and your big plans boy] Janis: are we taking credit or are we putting this out anon? Jimmy: Don't you want the 🏆? Janis: you just want a reunion with your 👮 pals, obvs Janis: I don't care, it'll out either way so may as well own it, I guess, if you're alright with that too Jimmy: You said you wanted to beat these dickheads at their own game, bit hard to do if they don't know we're playing Janis: can't cough without 10 people commenting on it 'round here anyway Janis: and who else would actually have such a 🔥💡 either Jimmy: There you go then Janis: 👍 Janis: no need to post yet, do it closer to the time it causes more hype/no time for it to get shut down Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: You done this before? Janis: Party planning or breaking into the school? Jimmy: I already know you break into the school regularly for secret trysts with your 💕 Janis: no need when he's got the key 😍😍🤤 Jimmy: There's every need when he's 😍😍🤤 for danger Jimmy: unless his ultimate #kinkunlocked is your innocence Janis: Can only assume he 👂 to all those virgin rumours Jimmy: until I came about and he discovered he's all about that cuckold life Janis: all 👀 now Janis: from inside the wardrobe or whatever the fuck 😬😂 Jimmy: be loads of places he can 👀 tonight Janis: True Janis: loads of places to hide too, at least Jimmy: 👻 Jimmy: such an athlete, nowt you can do but run Janis: Not scared of you, like Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: first thing I learned about you is how 🙀 you are Janis: Well, no need to insult your intelligence rn Jimmy: #notthickjustnorthern Janis: 'course, hun 😘 Jimmy: ILY babes 💕 Jimmy: tah for keeping it so real with me there Janis: you know me, keep it 💯👌🙏 Jimmy: fave thing about you, that Janis: Awh Janis: so cute! 💖 Jimmy: you know me, never off Janis: OMG, that's like, totally in my top 3 favourite things about you Janis: so crazy Jimmy: 🤖 kink unlocked 🎟 please Janis: erm have you know none of my friends require batteries THANKS Jimmy: 'cause none of 'em are fwb obvs Janis: do you reckon this party is the time or place to announce that downgrade in relationship Janis: get it together 👏 Jimmy: Depends Janis: If you've got a 📢 to hand? Jimmy: well I were gonna say on Mr Lucas but now I'm fuming that you're doubting the size of my gob Jimmy: Asia would never Jimmy: she knows 📏 matters Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll make sure to spread that 'round then, if that's the new rep you want Jimmy: if you ain't got enough to do, I'll @ my manager about some shifts we've got going Jimmy: put a decent enough word in for you, mate Janis: I'll go in for the cliche getting the hot one to train me but then I'm getting sacked before any of the skeleton gang comes through Jimmy: I would but I'm forced to spend enough time with you as is Janis: 🙄 you and your big head can get out the way, tah Jimmy: it's proper sweet of you to fake failing eyesight for me but you still ain't 👵💕 soz Janis: I knew you'd end up going fully dellusional Janis: gonna take ages to deprogram you 🤖 Jimmy: just hit the kill switch Janis: don't 👻 or @ me 'til I've finished my trial shift, thank you Janis: RIP 🌹 Jimmy: Ugh Jimmy: so hard to please, you Jimmy: 🥀💔 Janis: just tryna save your lil ghostie 👀 and 🖤 Janis: 'less you're really the one who's into waiting in the cupboard 🤔 Jimmy: Piss off Janis: Will do Janis: got shit to get, PJs to cop Jimmy: RIP to my concentration Jimmy: such a distracting mental image, that Janis: was your request Janis: so entirely your fault Jimmy: you doing what you're told now? 🤤🤤😍 Janis: Depends Jimmy: ? Janis: just how pink the selection is Jimmy: duh, I should've worked that one out Janis: also if I can find any without the sassy slogans slapped all over Jimmy: #whenyou'retoobittertobejuicy Janis: 😱 Janis: how Janis: DARE Janis: you Jimmy: 😏 Janis: no matching set for you now Jimmy: 💔😭 Jimmy: Baby please Janis: You'll have to dress yourself now Janis: as a straight lad, we all know you're incapable Jimmy: come on, be nice to me Janis: Why? Janis: you're so mean to me Jimmy: 😱😱😱😱 Jimmy: never Janis: and now you're gonna gaslight me Janis: so typical 👌 Jimmy: Truce? Janis: Hmm Janis: calling that suspiciously fast Jimmy: No kid wants to have a party where their mum and dad are scrapping in the back Janis: Alright Janis: though I did not agree to raise any child with you Jimmy: I'll chuck the bag of flour before I get there then Jimmy: ain't named it or owt Janis: awh it looks like you Janis: so sweet 😂 Jimmy: might have to call him Jamie Janis: insensitive tbh Jimmy: don't sound like me at all Jimmy: is this gonna be the shortest truce EVER or what? Janis: if you're happy for me to be wistfully thinking about Jamie all the time Janis: then crack on, no arguments here Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Oh Jamie Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: wish the school had a balcony Janis: fuck knows where I'm lamenting from Jimmy: get on the roof, girl Janis: 💀 pact request or? Janis: either way 👍 Jimmy: You still taking on board my requests or? Jimmy: #didwepeakwithpjs? Janis: wishing you used your wishes more wisely now? Jimmy: Is that a trick question? Jimmy: there's nowt wiser Jimmy: get you some slippers and we're near to 💕👵 Janis: 🖕 Dickhead Janis: the idea is to make everyone else 😩 not you Jimmy: we do Jimmy: nowt I can do about your face Jimmy: or your body Janis: devastating news Jimmy: I've had my 😭 about it Jimmy: old news Janis: let me mourn, god Jimmy: crack on Janis: [later] Janis: you out yet Jimmy: What do you need a hand to carry now? Janis: rude Janis: I'm bored Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: where are you? Janis: [a random location in town] Janis: been reminded why I hate shopping Jimmy: you don't wanna take #goals selfies with me then? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: obviously Janis: gotta get something out of it Jimmy: meet me at [somewhere they can be goals af] Jimmy: 🤞 I don't get lost Janis: Come on Janis: you must know your way a bit by now Janis: not that far Jimmy: yeah go there all the time, me Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: I'll start walking Janis: don't wanna make another poster Jimmy: but you LOVED the first one I done Janis: you're very talented Jimmy: 🙄🖕 Janis: Take a compliment, boy Jimmy: Give one that ain't a pisstake, girl Janis: Ugh Janis: that might be a challenge too far Jimmy: then like I said 🙄🖕 Jimmy: and you shut up, trying to get my bearings here Janis: you're adorable when you're lost Janis: that's sincere Jimmy: Where the fuck? Jimmy: this town is some bollocks Jimmy: can't find nowt Janis: See, precious Janis: did you live in a town before or like down a mine or whatever the fuck Jimmy: canary in a little cage, me Jimmy: just a lad and his 🎻 Jimmy: just the one 🥧 crust to ration out Janis: 💔 Janis: we get it, you can act alright 😏 Janis: the sob story ain't gonna save you now Jimmy: Are you gonna? Janis: don't I always? Jimmy: 💪🏆 you Janis: Tweet it so I know it's real Jimmy: [cue dramatic and 💕 tweet about how she's his saviour etc] Janis: coming for your 🥇 pisstaker 👑 with that one Janis: fairplay Jimmy: well I actually need you, bit real that Jimmy: if I said it I'd have to 💀💀💀 or worse, delete Janis: 🤐 Janis: I'll never tell, don't worry Jimmy: using you like a sat nav ain't very #goals Jimmy: reckon the secret's safe Janis: you mean your lack of direction isn't Janis: how unmanly of you Jimmy: it's a crap shag rumour waiting to happen Jimmy: Asia would dump me and my life would be OVER Janis: Nah, blind loyalty is their only redeeming quality Janis: 💀👑 ain't even tried to fuck them and they still stick around Jimmy: In fairness she'd probably ⚰ if she did have a go Janis: says you Jimmy: what are you saying? Janis: your stamina ain't braggable with those lungs Jimmy: HOW DARE YOU Janis: whoops Janis: 🙊 Jimmy: could run rings around you, smoke and actual Janis: there's fake and then there's madness Jimmy: there's 🙀 and then there's you Jimmy: sort it out Janis: Who's scared? Janis: Literally any time you wanna have an asthma attack, babe Janis: I'm ready Jimmy: yeah right Jimmy: all chat, you Jimmy: ain't even found me Janis: Bullshit Jimmy: ❌ marks the northern lad Jimmy: get a move on Janis: shut up then Jimmy: If you need a hand that desperately I'll send you 🚬☁ signals Janis: [showing up like hilarious] Jimmy: [fakes like he's gonna jump into her arms like a damsel in distress but obvs does not] Janis: [puts her arms straight down at her side like won't catch you boy] Jimmy: [does a pouty face and puts his hand out like hold it or I'll get lost again] Janis: [🙄 but does it, obvs] Jimmy: [deliberately goes the wrong way because nerd] Janis: [swinging him 'round like nope] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['can you drive?'] Jimmy: ['Are we stealing a car before or after the break in?' because he can but he can't answer a q] Janis: [shrugs 'I can take the speakers from home without it being suspicious but if I ask to drop 'em off at the school, like' gestures like you see my point 'someone will pick us up for a crate, no big'] Jimmy: ['I could take my dad's car but I dunno if they'll fit' shrugs 'be gutted he didn't get that very important memo about how much size matters'] Janis: ['yeah?' bites lip whilst thinking, tapping foot up and down 'should fit, just put the backseats down'] Jimmy: [when she looks so good biting her lip that you nearly lose yourself in the music AND the moment 'Alright' because he knows he's gonna get in trouble for this anyway and that's the whole point, in for a penny in for a pound] Janis: ['first stop yours then? whilst he's still at work' when you're looking like are you sure but you aren't going to ask] Jimmy: [typical that he lives right by the school and she lives 42 years away lol 'owt else we need from here?' gestures around vaguely with a 😒 face like ugh shops and people gross] Janis: ['better get that crate still, party'll supply itself but I still want some shit for us'] Jimmy: [nods and gives her a look like better get several cos can't resist calling her a pisshead] Janis: [pushes him lightly 'oh, and how many packs do you need to get through, Mr. Buzzkill?'] Jimmy: [a dramatic idk there's no way to know gesture 'such a lad, me, with SUCH good stamina] Janis: [😏 'come on then' and dragging him towards the shop like let's hurry it up] Jimmy: ['get ready for your close up and we can do the photo shoot in the car'] Janis: ['born ready- with this face, and this body' 'cos we ain't forgotten] Jimmy: [trying not to 😳 so hard rn] Janis: [knows and is buzzing about that payback] Jimmy: [lowkey nearly pushing her into some women having a chat in the way of everyone cos that playful shove] Janis: [unrepentantly not soz at those women but 😒 at him] Jimmy: [😏 to hide that he is soz cos didn't mean to do it that hard] Janis: [shoving all the booze at him like go get this but giving him the cash too 'cos not that mad] Jimmy: [does because whipped] Janis: I'm off out 'fore I get lynched Janis: you can find your way back from the tills without me, yeah Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: Adorable Jimmy: Shh Janis: Stop being so damn cute Janis: never getting served with that baby face Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: You're too young and I'm too 😎 Janis: Spoilsport Jimmy: few drinks in me and you'll be 🍑📞 Jimmy: hang on in there, baby Janis: yeah Janis: gonna look top in my pjs Janis: who could resist Jimmy: have to be a 💪🏆 lad than me and there ain't none about Janis: Tah for being so real about my chances, like Jimmy: what are mates for? Janis: gonna hold my hair back too? Jimmy: yeah Janis: looking for a promotion to bezzies forever Jimmy: it's just always in my fucking way Janis: ? Jimmy: your hair Janis: oh Janis: fair Janis: if you didn't always go for the neck, would be less of an issue Jimmy: Alright, I can take a hint Jimmy: tonight I'll kiss you somewhere else Janis: [not answering 'cos 😳] Jimmy: [when you think she's not answering because she's like GOD NO levels of horrified] Janis: [ah miscommunication, least she is literally outside so we don't need to angst] Jimmy: [coming out cos job done, take a sec to impress her with how strong you are carrying all that shit] Janis: [lil clap and feeling his biceps like Prue] Jimmy: [🙄 but loves it] Janis: ['back to yours now?'] Jimmy: ['I get it, you proper miss her' shout out to Twix] Janis: [nods like 'course 'and we need to get changed to meet your self-imposed dresscode; good as you look'] Jimmy: [looks down and shrugs cos it's probably black tbh but we know you ain't going like that boy] Janis: ['and you have a car to steal' like need I remind you of the plan] Jimmy: ['ain't really stealing if you just grab the keys of the hook, but alright' keeping this so casual] Janis: ['trust you to wanna make it legal and boring' 👮 ref 'still not got insurance or a license, even if you are 45'] Jimmy: [a look like OI so offended 'loads of ways we can make the drive less boring, if you wanna get involved, Jill' stop making it so sexual thank you we all know that's what you mean] Janis: ['Obviously' a LOOK for good measure 'cos we all know what you mean 'not gonna make you do it alone, not very friendly' taking some of the supplies like see] Jimmy: [such a LOOK back] Janis: [don't drop your shopping lads] Jimmy: [that'd be awks, at least they don't have that far to go for this leg of the journey cos he doesn't live in the middle of nowhere] Janis: [shoutout ian for that one thing and one thing only] Jimmy: [when you gesture for her to light you a 🚬 for this one time only because your hands are full af] Janis: [thrilled about the novelty of that tbh] Jimmy: [don't think about how she'd have to get it out of his pocket and put it in his mouth and all that jazz #accidentalhotness] Janis: [its a mood and a moment and we're just trying to get home without dying here, also gonna have one herself 'cos duh] Jimmy: [so much eye contact goodbye] Janis: ['you're fully aware how much shit we're gonna get in, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a dramatic OTT gasp like it only just occurred to him just then] Janis: [nudges him like but really though] Jimmy: [looks down at all the shit he's carrying 'bit late for you to back out, but if you're gonna, go on, we can still half this'] Janis: [shakes her head 'nah, I know, I'm making sure you do, so we're good then'] Jimmy: ['not thick, just northern'] Janis: ['alright, hail of bullets it is then, babe'] Jimmy: ['that's the hottest thing you've ever said to me' cos have to lighten the mood when you know it'll be BAD when Ian finds out about any of this and like you want that but you also don't] Janis: [😏 'yeah, yeah'] Jimmy: [strutting along but in non-awkward silence for a bit] Janis: [living laughing loving like you're not about to get in so much trouble lolollol] Jimmy: [do we wanna skip to his gaff so no other moments happen along the way lol?] Janis: [probably, let's not get carried away yet when there's a whole night ahead] Jimmy: [you're still sober rn lads give it time] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [when he'd have to check in with Cass and Bobby before he can even do anything else remotely, making them cups of tea and food and all kinds of bollocks, you better have walked that dog while he was at work kids we don't have time] Janis: [forever awkwardly there like hello] Jimmy: [like excuse him while he has a little argument with his sister cos she's had bobby all day and he's only just got back and he's basically gonna go straight back out] Janis: [soz girl, just going outside so they can do this in private like you're gonna smoke but you definitely ain't] Jimmy: [he's right back to being stressed because what a day we're having Jimothy, trying to do everything you gotta do with a clingy little bro in your face rn] Janis: [the joys of being an unwilling parent to your siblings truly] Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's forced them on the trampoline like let's all calm down] Janis: need me to do anything? Jimmy: 💀💀💀 us Janis: us in the singular or us as in me and you or us as in you want me to family anihilate Janis: the important questions save from awkward misunderstandings later Jimmy: right now I ain't that fussy, babe Jimmy: suit yourself Janis: Generous to a fault Janis: it's impressive Janis: I'll put the drink in the car Jimmy: 💕 Janis: set up the hose and all Janis: whenever you're ready, babe Jimmy: I read that you meant for a 🚿 Jimmy: about to bring up that rich v poor divide again there Janis: as much as the neighbours would be 👀 behind their curtains Jimmy: 👵💕👴 Jimmy: proper cheered me and Doris an' all, tah Jules Janis: any time Jimmy: you can use our actual 🚿 if you need though Jimmy: sight of you would 💀💀💀 her off Janis: Cheers Janis: couldn't hurt, even if there's no decent lads to pull 💔 Jimmy: that screenshot is being @ed to Mr Lucas Jimmy: such a heartbreaker you Janis: s'alright, just tell him he's a man not a lad Janis: answer for everything me 😇 Jimmy: get out of my bathroom actually I've gotta 🤢🤢 Janis: so jealous, so immature Janis: 😂 Jimmy: 🖕 Jimmy: how mature's that? 😘 Janis: SO impressive Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: you know it Janis: of course Janis: I am getting in now though so if you're actually gonna come in, bring your 📷 or don't, like Jimmy: that ain't fair, I already know what an exhibitionist you are, gimme a new kink to unlock Janis: I'm not making it any easier for you Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: not even 🥉 behaviour, that Janis: sort it out Jimmy: Alright, dickhead, appreciate the shot's fired but I still ain't 💀💀💀 Janis: Shame Janis: and no 🎟 for that one either, I know Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: there's your 🚿🎵 Janis: Tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [after a suitable shower time] Janis: your turn Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: [awkward meetcute on the landing] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [also she'll either be in a towel or in what she's wearing so either way we can assume 😍] Jimmy: [we all know what you'll be doing in that shower boy] Janis: [oohlala] Jimmy: [at least Ian ain't there to lament his water bill] Janis: [gonna have bigger problems soon soz not soz dickhead] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [meanwhile not lowkey knowing where to put yourself rn, 'cos you don't wanna get up in the kids grill but also feels presumptuous just being in his room but ultimately where you're gonna be 'cos can style that out better] Jimmy: [bowl in with your towel on to make this more awkward] Janis: [just like um ah sorry run lmao] Jimmy: [put your clothes on and go find her sir] Janis: [just chilling by the car probably] Jimmy: [open the door for her thank you] Janis: [tipping your imaginary hat] Jimmy: [illegal driving time, don't die please] Janis: [to her house, which whilst so much faster in a car, still forever lol] Jimmy: [put your easter rising playlist on kids] Janis: [soundtrack to your love tbh] Jimmy: [and don't forget to stop somewhere in the middle of nowhere for your photoshoot moment] Janis: [so important, vital, some would say, ie yous two] Jimmy: [it's been an age by your standards cos he didn't post the bench moment the fans need #content 👌] Janis: [when that was too #personal we all know it] Jimmy: [whenever her actual name gets used it's too personal that's the tea] Janis: [no pretending then] Jimmy: [lbr there's barely any even this early on] Janis: [when you're just bad at this but that works in favour of being believed 'cos it's real lmao] Jimmy: [imagine if it was all fake like alright well bye] Janis: [you thought lads] Jimmy: [they'd have to be 🤖] Janis: [and you ain't, despite efforts bitch] Jimmy: [just like imma spend all this time with you and chat with you always but idc tho] Janis: [so realistic, the facts are if you actually intended to fake date you would have to do so little to make it seem legit, you don't need to really date lol] Jimmy: [literally could have do what Buster did for like 3 years and made someone up, he could've easily pretended he'd left someone up north but no] Janis: [like we know these girls are pushy but come on lol] Jimmy: [he's perfectly capable of being an antisocial dickhead and getting them to lose interest] Janis: [mhmm lmao, we see you, idk why we're shading as if this isn't out plan, like admit you fancied each other!!!1] Jimmy: [when it's a bestselling book/netflix show peeps gonna be shouting] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [do we wanna do a skip or have you got anything you wanna do on this drive while they bonnie and clyde 39ing it] Janis: [hmmmmm, part of me wants to do it but maybe we should skip idk] Jimmy: [if you wanna do it gal we shall 😘] Janis: [tings could happen as they do] Jimmy: [thank god he needs to keep his eyes on the road because I can only imagine how 🔥 she looks rn] Janis: [I need to find pics but defs a lewk, totally for your benefit whether we're admitting that or obvs not, boy] Jimmy: [I'm being cockblocked as standard but he'd be serving a lewk also in the effortless way he do] Janis: [we're all 😍 up in here but still, conversation lmao 'did your dad teach you to drive?'] Jimmy: [such a bitter laugh because Ian would never 'I get it, the deathwish is a strong one, but let's get the party over and done with first, yeah?' because you know Ian would be a crap driver all that road rage] Janis: [obvs senses that's a no-go topic area and nods 'works for me, not a very cool way to die, 'less we're driving off a cliff' ha ha mems bye] Jimmy: ['controlling carpet salesman is more your type than the easy-going musician which is awkward' cos the musician's name is Jimmy I lol 'and you love a flirtatious stranger an' all'] Janis: [lols 'well, what a drag, not even gonna counter it because would LOVE a new carpet right about now'] Jimmy: [looks down at the floor of the car like understandable 'if you could keep your legs closed for a bit so all my savings don't get nicked by some obvs irresistible dickhead, I'd love that though'] Janis: ['I make no promises' 😏] Jimmy: [shakes his head like ugh what am I gonna do with you] Janis: ['am I the hot one or nah though?'] Jimmy: ['Your shit taste is well documented' like you tell me] Janis: [shrugs like boy idk 'not got it memorized' 'cos lowkey has no clue] Jimmy: [shrugs back like neither do I as if he didn't just drop all that plot on her] Janis: [🙄 'well now I'll never know just how much of a drag it was'] Jimmy: ['I'm the hot one, you should know that'] Janis: [offended noises] Jimmy: [poke her like excuse you but keep 👀 on the road so god knows where that hand is gonna land] Janis: [flapping his hand away like get off 'I am not willing to say you're the hot one, thank you'] Jimmy: ['what are you willing to say then?' why you gotta be so flirty boyy] Janis: [raises her hand like she's swearing in court ['the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God'] Jimmy: ['sleepover was the other night, mate'] Janis: ['they weren't having no game of truth or dare with us' face like I wonder why lmao] Jimmy: ['gonna need you to take one for the team and express my heartbreak' cos he can't do 💔 hands while driving] Janis: [does 'though you're the only one not playing nice right now so, think on'] Jimmy: [risking a look at her like ?] Janis: ['we could play right now' like duh] Jimmy: ['what dares can I do with both hands on the wheel?'] Janis: [snorts 'don't tempt me' but shakes her head 'called TRUTH OR dare, just pick truth, and I gave you the chance to ask me first anyway'] Jimmy: ['I can't be pulling over every time you want me to do something' and a LOOK soz drivers 'but alright' cos can't turn down a challenge ever] Janis: ['you can keep your hands where I can see 'em at all times, promise' returning that LOOK but being 😳 by the time he's turned 'round 'go on then, ask me something interesting'] Jimmy: ['Nah, lasses first, gimme a dare, if you can think of owt'] Janis: [a sigh like fgs boy 'no, alright, let me think then' humming and tapping your lip to show how hard you're thinking about this 'alright, truthfully, if you HAD to bang one of the flat whites, who would you pick?] Jimmy: ['your sister' because honestly Grace is the least annoying not just cos Janis is not gonna be happy about it though that's a bonus] Janis: [retches 'shut up and pick someone else'] Jimmy: ['Don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it'] Janis: ['it's not the truth, you're a dick'] Jimmy: ['Yeah it is'] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [nudges her like cheer up] Janis: [just shifting your body out of reach like no] Jimmy: ['Stop being a dickhead'] Janis: ['You first'] Jimmy: ['It were your question, I'd be a dickhead if I never answered'] Janis: ['we're not playing anymore'] Jimmy: [sighs but doesn't say anything] Janis: [turning up the music] Jimmy: [awkwardly driving] Janis: [getting herself a drink from the back probably very inelegantly climbing over all the shit, which is a bit rude but here we are] Jimmy: [a long enough pause that he easily could have dropped the topic but has not 'who did you want me to fuck'] Janis: ['Literally anyone but my sister, it's not hard'] Jimmy: ['would be' because ew imagine any of them and him] Janis: ['forget it'] Jimmy: ['You first'] Janis: ['fuck off, I don't have to do anything'[ Jimmy: ['I don't have to fuck your sister, it were just a game'] Janis: ['go for it, it's such an easy choice, like'] Jimmy: ['shut up, I don't wanna go for it'] Janis: ['whatever'] Jimmy: [is just looking at her like what the fuck are we doing this for if I was just gonna get with any of them, don't crash please] Janis: ['stop looking at me and focus'] Jimmy: [dramatically but safely thank you pulls over so he can just stare her out because that bitch] Janis: ['what are you doing?'] Jimmy: ['What are you doing?' so annoying] Janis: [the exasperation just like bitch, getting out 'I'm walking'] Jimmy: [obviously also gets out 'you're being a massive twat'] Janis: ['then get back in your car and leave me alone'] Jimmy: ['no'] Janis: ['well I'm not getting back in'] Jimmy: ['Well it's getting left here then, wherever the fuck here is'] Janis: ['Don't be ridiculous'] Jimmy: ['you'] Janis: ['I've not done anything wrong, I want to walk, go away' pushing him in the general direction of the car] Jimmy: [gets back in the car like fine but it's not fine] Janis: [just sitting on the side of the road fuming 'cos you've not even got the speakers yet] Jimmy: [when you can't even have a drink #gutted] Janis: go to my house Janis: I'll tell my brother you're coming to pick the gear up Jimmy: I'm not going without you Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: get in Janis: don't look at me don't talk to me Janis: alright Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [gets in and slams the door] Jimmy: [well this is fun kids, but hey at least we're moving again] Janis: [dramatically looking out this window] Jimmy: [turns the music up even more] Janis: [turns it down 'cos petty] Jimmy: [is so 😒 but leaves it] Janis: [get these speakers quick] Jimmy: [imagine the weird vibe when they do, oooh someone's had a domestic] Janis: [also gotta hope said sibling doesn't dob you in 'cos Jimmy is not old enough to be driving we all know this] Jimmy: [also hope Grace isn't home cos AWKWARD] Janis: [safe to say you will not be coming to this soiree anyway] Jimmy: [thank goodness none of them are for a multitude of reasons] Janis: [just both dying to be out this car now, on your phone giving people details so at least you've got an excuse/something to do] Jimmy: [what a hilarious drive back that would be] Janis: ['everyone's coming'] Jimmy: [nods in recognition of her saying that but we all know he's not bothered rn] Janis: [what if she invited Pete though] Jimmy: [BITCH OMG DO IT] Janis: [dragging you into this soz boy] Jimmy: [because they haven't been coupley af at his work yet or anything and neither of them has really interacted with him so it makes it more blatant] Janis: [gotta be done] Jimmy: [I am living] Janis: [we can probably skip now we aren't getting past this lol] Jimmy: [yeah agreed, like all he's gonna do is get back dump the shit then take the car back and check the kids are okay and then walk back to the school all in a moody silence so] Janis: [we know the vibe, blatantly taking advantage of how fast this party is gonna get out of control to avoid each other] Jimmy: [raid Ian's stash while you're there boy because stronger stuff that's so needed] Janis: [sudden life and soul like excuse me whilst I talk to everyone and accept all the drinks etc] Jimmy: [the fakest she's ever been] Janis: [hostess with the mostest] Jimmy: [we all know that's a fuck you too cos he called her a shit host] Janis: [getting turnt, locating Pete] Jimmy: [he's straight up gonna drag her away from that boy, soz pete] Janis: [he's gonna be so confused like hello? meanwhile 'well, that was rude'] Jimmy: [having to style it out to everyone like I just really miss her excuse me 'rude is right, what did you invite him for?'] Janis: [shrugs 'cos he's cool?'] Jimmy: ['how the fuck would you know?'] Janis: ['I talked to him' that was barely an exchange but pop-off 'anyway, there are so many people here, what does it matter?'] Jimmy: [😒 af but you can pretend it goes with what you're about to say 'my manager gonna turn up in a bit an' all or what?'] Janis: ['if he's cool too, maybe'] Jimmy: [walking away but giving her a look like you're such a dick] Janis: ['great talk' shouted after him] Jimmy: ['if you were cool, might've been' shouted back because so mature] Janis: [💔] Jimmy: ['Open with that, next lad you have a great talk with'] Janis: ['Thanks for the suggestion' and walking away to get fully lost in this crowd] Jimmy: [likewise walking off to somewhere he can be on his own or as close to that as we're getting in this chaos] Janis: [least there is an abudance of classrooms, they can't all be full yet] Jimmy: [get drunker because what could go wrong there] Janis: [oh lord, the only way is down] Jimmy: [I've just had the MOST EVIL thought because Pete also smokes do you see where I'm going with this] Janis: [I think I do you lil shrew] Jimmy: [not actually a MOMENT but when you're jealous af everything's a moment] Janis: [is nothing sacred] Jimmy: [how dare you smoke with other hot baristas] Janis: [you don't even smoke lol] Jimmy: [so yeah do you wanna do that? 😈] Janis: [why not, we're out here fucking everything up now] Jimmy: [when you're straight up just gonna try and leave this party boy please I'm not allowing that] Janis: [when you don't even get why he's just immediately turned around so offended so you think it's purely 'cos he doesn't want to see you rn so you go off into the main hall again like okay] Janis: go smoke, I've moved now Jimmy: go where you like Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: erm why Jimmy: 1. you heard me before, fuck who you want but don't make me look a twat Jimmy: 2. I don't need to be here Jimmy: 3. I don't wanna be here Janis: 1. I've not fucked anyone Janis: 2. so you're gonna leave me to get in trouble when that's the entire point of this whole thing to you, apparently Janis: 3. see 2 Jimmy: I've got no shortage of shit I can do to get in trouble Jimmy: You can have this one Janis: Bullshit am I taking the fall for you now Jimmy: bat your eyelashes and tell it were all my idea Jimmy: nowt even fake in that Janis: fuck off with that too Janis: you're being so stupid Jimmy: yeah proper smart move to be all over my co-workers Janis: Hardly Janis: I was talking to him, not a crime Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I have to see him every day at the same place those bitches go every day Janis: So Janis: I thought you might like someone here you actually know Jimmy: So it ain't very goals when your girlfriend is a massive slag Janis: I already told you Janis: I was talking to him, fuck all else Jimmy: And who else 👀 that? Janis: I've talked to plenty of people here Janis: and the reason I'm not talking to you is your fault so you can't put that on me Jimmy: Get in a darker corner and get a bit closer, sure we can still spin that so it's my fault somehow Janis: Jesus, I'm not an idiot and I'm not trying to fuck him Jimmy: we're surrounded by idiots, stick to the fucking script or exit stage left Janis: I'm making best of the situation Janis: but fine, let's both leave, this whole exercise has been fucking pointless Jimmy: Me an' all, this ain't happening to me again Jimmy: I loved her, I don't even like you Janis: What are you talking about Jimmy: leave it out Janis: You said it Janis: typed it Jimmy: I can't hypothetically fuck your sister with a gun to my head, you can't actually fuck anyone I know Janis: We were having a cigarette, that's what you 👀 Janis: if that pisses you off then you can see why you pissed me off Janis: that's that Jimmy: I never said I couldn't see why you were pissed off Jimmy: not blind Janis: Yes you did Janis: you still don't even get it now, so fuck that Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: but I'm never going near your sister Janis: then you don't Jimmy: I didn't invite her here to piss you off Janis: You didn't have to pick her Jimmy: You wanted honest Janis: Yeah, and if you can't see she's the worst Janis: then I don't want to be your friend and you don't get it Jimmy: I picked her 'cause she's barely spoken to me Jimmy: she's never barged in on me in the bathroom or awkwardly flirted with me Jimmy: there's nowt else to it Janis: I'm over this Jimmy: come on Jimmy: I don't like anyone, least of all any of them Janis: Fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: Sure Janis: it just proves how stupid this is Janis: you don't know me, I don't know you, we've got nothing in common Jimmy: that were the point Jimmy: you can't fake owt with someone who knows you Janis: that ain't the point in being friends Janis: to think we could do both was the mistake Janis: so let's drop it Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: but this party were a good idea Jimmy: is Janis: I hope so Jimmy: just stay Janis: whatever Janis: I had and ave reasons to be here too, I never said I didn't Jimmy: yeah Janis: enjoy your party, Jimmy Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: Make it a lot later okay Jimmy: suits me Janis: when are you going to be done with this? Jimmy: When are you? Janis: I'm fine now, no one thinks I'm gay Janis: but I'll hold up my end of the deal Janis: so get to your end point and tell me Jimmy: Lasses are gonna fancy me however long this goes on, soon as we end it I'll be back at square one Jimmy: might as well do it now if that's what you want Janis: So what was your plan Janis: do it 'til you found a real girlfriend, what? Jimmy: how do you expect me to plan for that level of crazy? Jimmy: I'll be gone soon Jimmy: be a new boy somewhere else Janis: You'll forgive me for not having much sympathy Janis: only been dealing with it forever Janis: and when is that gonna be, exactly Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ my dad and ask him Jimmy: doubt he'll mind Janis: I don't think either of us knew how long we were signing up for Janis: that's the point, yeah? Jimmy: don't worry about it, this party'll get me one foot out Janis: Good Jimmy: steady on, we ain't gotta have nowt in common Janis: You aren't funny Janis: so no danger Jimmy: ain't gotta be that either, have I? Jimmy: trying to repel the lasses not the other way round Janis: you aren't that special, you know Jimmy: it's not me saying I am Janis: no Jimmy: just trying to keep my head down Jimmy: it ain't my fault they like the look of it Janis: you've really fucked everything up Janis: but maybe that ain't your fault Jimmy: I have got form, probably is Janis: You love moping Janis: have it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: why'd you lie Jimmy: What? Janis: I ust wanna know what the point of saying you wanted to be my friend was Jimmy: I weren't lying Janis: You clearly didn't want to be my friend Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: Come on Jimmy: you Janis: You'd give a shit now if you did Jimmy: I do give a shit now Janis: about how you look Jimmy: stop chatting shit Janis: I heard you the first time Janis: none of this is remotely about me Jimmy: everything I do is about you Janis: You don't need to chat shit just 'cos you reckon I am Jimmy: you're my first thought in all this bollocks Janis: Yeah, and you hate me for it Janis: it isn't my fault they won't leave you alone either, alright Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I know that, not fucking braindead Janis: then don't treat me like I am Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I don't need to go on about what today's been like, you've been about for most of it Janis: Yeah, alright Janis: I'm sorry for inviting your coworker Jimmy: Alright Janis: Actual truce then Jimmy: might last a fucking minute this time, like Janis: don't get carried away Jimmy: weren't promising nowt Janis: just warn me next time you're gonna have a meltdown and we'll be fine Jimmy: you were the one who stropped out of the car, babe Jimmy: didn't get a single 📷 Janis: and you're the one who wouldn't go to my house alone so Janis: we'll have to have a truce Janis: and I'm in no state now Janis: the evidence of this party will speak for itself Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: #whentheonlycrimecommitedisthelackofselfiesinthatoutfit Janis: Shut up 😏 Jimmy: at least come here so I can 😍😍🤤 over it Janis: tell me where you are then Jimmy: 🎨 room #duh Janis: 'course you are Janis: see if I remember where it is, get lost for once instead of you Jimmy: Where are you? Janis: bathroom Janis: where else do girls go to 😭 Jimmy: [draws her an adorable quick little map] Janis: Cheers, nerd Jimmy: now you can always find me when we're stuck here 💕 Janis: Cute Janis: fucking weird being here at night Janis: not that I think we will be much longer now Jimmy: do my 🥇 work at night, me Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: I'm not gonna grade you Janis: given how tense things are already, risky game Jimmy: I don't need you to tell me it's top marks Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: Colour me unsurprised that you're class show-off Jimmy: don't say a word, me Jimmy: there's no need Janis: oh God Janis: you're insufferable 😂 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: shh Janis: or I'm purposely getting so lost Jimmy: have to find you for once Janis: I'm good at hiding Jimmy: I'm good at 👀 Janis: the 😎 ain't prescription Janis: 😱 Jimmy: told you I weren't blind Janis: I stopped listening after you said you wanted to bang my sister Janis: which speaks to the contrary 🤷 Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: you would've heard me say sorry if you were bothered Janis: I'm bothered Jimmy: so what you just want another one? Janis: Maybe Jimmy: gonna have to do something for it since you ain't listening to nowt I've said Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Janis: Now I know why you wanted a dare Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: I'll do owt you want so you know how sorry I am Janis: Don't say that Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos it's been one of those days Janis: and I'm too drunk to be sensible Jimmy: that's why you should let me make it up to you Jimmy: or it'll keep on being shit Janis: okay Janis: but you do what you think Janis: I'm not telling you to do anything Jimmy: just for tonight or ever again? Janis: like I tell you what to do all the time Jimmy: I'm just saying, might be a dealbreaker Janis: Oh right Janis: it's a kink, I forgot Jimmy: taking your 🎟🎟 off you Janis: 😣 Janis: I'll tell you what to do Jimmy: go on Janis: come out and find me instead Janis: I can't be just me and you right now Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: how far did you get? Janis: corridor Janis: don't call me scared Jimmy: [appears like the 👻 he is] Janis: [such an intense LOOK in every sense 'cos what a time we're all confused and frustrated] Jimmy: [giving her those 😍 he said he would and MORE lbr] Janis: [when I'm like you're staying still girl I don't trust you lol] Jimmy: [when I'm like who's around that you can use as an excuse to do what you really want lol] Janis: [there'd be people and that was my shameless vibe 'cos no going back if it happened when you were alone] Jimmy: [just really intensely kiss her in between saying how sorry you are then boy, I insist] Janis: [so about it there's no denying] Jimmy: [thank god they can forget because drunk if we need them to because DAMN] Janis: [god damn x3] Jimmy: [also thank god he's wearing more clothes than her because once again she's basically in the same boat as on school trip and they're just dry humping all over everything so casually] Janis: [put some more clothes on hoe lol but never do and seriously, this is enough of a show without how bad you wanna go further] Jimmy: [a hoe never gets cold especially in April] Janis: [it's basically Summer lmao] Jimmy: [they should go back to the art room at some point if they can ever find chill for a paint fight cos they wearing black it'd be 🎨] Janis: [that's a good idea] Jimmy: [I'm trying to think how they can lowkey trash the place and that seemed an obvious one] Janis: [I am down, if they ever stop lol] Jimmy: [which they won't for an age if ever lol] Janis: [how are we stopping y'all ahh] Jimmy: [someone could always basically fall on them cos drunk chaos] Janis: [that would work, break the spell casually] Jimmy: [especially if it's a heavy lad even you two can't just ignore that] Janis: [just 😒 but not at him so improvement lol] Jimmy: [don't fight him Jimothy just go have your paint fight and live your best life] Janis: [we all know you were very in the way lol] Jimmy: [as standard, so go handhold your way back to the art room as is also your standard] Janis: [being like 'which is yours?' like a parent coming to see your work on parents evening] Jimmy: [getting shy like] Janis: [squish.that.face 'go on' nudges him] Jimmy: [the most exasperated sigh ever like she is a parent suddenly lol] Janis: [walks around looking at the work herself like okay, okay, 'I'll work it out'] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her while she's checking out the 🎨] Janis: [when he's done enough doodles that you could pick them out but probably not 📷 'did I find them all?'] Jimmy: [just taking her to all the ones she didn't but he can't look at them because he's awks] Janis: [just approving like get it boy but silently and low-key 'cos not that bitch, turning round 'where do you sit then?' and sitting on his desk when he tells her] Jimmy: [sits on his chair so they're accidentally really close to each other] Janis: ['this is how porn starts' saying what we're all thinking] Jimmy: [loling] Janis: [😏 but tension] Jimmy: [😏 back forever] Janis: ['teach me then'] Jimmy: [gets out art supplies like a nerd] Janis: [buzzing like show me how to art] Jimmy: [what's a art thing he could teach her how to do? hmmmm] Janis: [thank god she's got some skillz even if drunk, don't wanna be tragically shit] Jimmy: [imagine, they'd be arguing again like immediately] Janis: [we don't need that tah] Jimmy: [christ knows what he's teaching her but it's a moment] Janis: [obviously gonna involve paint and obviously gonna splodge a bit on his cute concentration face to start this paint war] Jimmy: [get her back on her 😏 face because she would be and we all know] Janis: [I wish pinterest would come through for this but I already know lol] Jimmy: [I will look but they won't even serve me an outfit for him so probably not gonna happen] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [on the one hand I want other peeps to show up so they can attack them but on the other I don't because just jj things] Janis: [we probably should to avoid another Moment TM] Jimmy: [yeah at least when there's at least a couple of other people around we can pretend it's fake, there's no going back otherwise] Janis: [we can feel it coming lads] Jimmy: [so can they and that's the tea] Janis: [mhmm mhmm] Jimmy: [you deserve this carefree paint fight and ensuing makeout lads, shit is gonna hit the fan soon enough] Janis: [what kind of fallout should we do?] Jimmy: [that's a good question cos we know Ian is gonna 🥊 but yeah we need to decide how hard to go with everyone else] Janis: [like assuming the police get called to shut this down, I reckon you'd just get a warning/or maybe a community service vibe, that could be fun to do actually] Jimmy: [LIKE IN STEP UP but obvs not at all because they ain't cleaning no dance school but yass I like that idea] Janis: ['cos then even if Ian is like can't see that girl again they still will 'cos gotta go do this lol] Jimmy: [exactly and school will have to start eventually so you can't stop him then even if they get put in isolation or whatever they'll still find a way] Janis: [the rom and jules of it all] Jimmy: [you'll enjoy that both of yous] Janis: [not that you'll enjoy being separated the rest of the time 'cos so highkey heheheh] Jimmy: [though I'll enjoy not having to think of ways to cockblock you all the time] Janis: [just parents being parents 'cos you broke into and trashed your school lol] Jimmy: [this'll be a good reason for cali/the fam not to like him cos that was the vibe for why she had to invite him round to dinner remember when] Jimmy: [even though they would've totally done this when they were younger bye] Janis: [exactly yo, and likewise doesn't listen to them anyway so it's as much of a cockblock and not as we need so] Jimmy: [is there anything else you wanna do/have them say to each other before we 👮🚓?] Janis: [hmmm we've covered a lot of emotional ground I feel so we're probs good?] Jimmy: [I'm good with that]

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Cheers for ruining my birthday, like Rio: What are you on about? Buster: I'm not typing with my voice so I know I didn't slur on that Rio: Yeah, but you're chatting shit Buster: Am I fuck Buster: What did you come for? Rio: Your sister invited me Rio: as it's her birthday too Buster: She ain't even fucking invited Buster: It's my party not hers Rio: You're unreal Rio: neither of us wants to be at your shitty party Rio: which was lame before I got here and we'll be gone as soon as we can so calm down Buster: Then get out Buster: Neither of you are wanted here Rio: 😥 Rio: Like I said, go when we're ready Rio: Ignore us and have a fabulous evening Buster: Like I said, you're ruining it Rio: I don't really care Rio: I'm here to make sure Nancy has a good time, not you Buster: Yeah 'cause she's really gonna have a good time here Buster: You're unreal Rio: Are you thick? Rio: YOU stole her guestlist so she HAS to be here 'til your parents are satisfied Rio: you only have yourself to blame so don't cry at me Buster: Are you thick? My parents aren't. They know Nance ain't got no mates & what's happening here Rio: Take it up with them then Rio: Literally not my problem Buster: I'm taking it up with you Buster: 'Cause you & her being here are my problem Rio: She's your fucking sister Buster: Exactly Rio: You can't just pretend she doesn't exist Buster: What I can't have is one night where I don't have to beat up some cunt for trying to straighten her out, apparently Buster: Whether it's my birthday or not Rio: Sorry she's not hideous and your friends have no self-control Rio: not really an us problem though so Buster: Your nice act has vanished totally by now then, yeah? Rio: I'm not going to be nice to you when you're being a spoilt baby Buster: Literally has never stopped you before Rio: No saint Rio: sometimes it's easier to ignore, when you're not being a total twat Buster: That'll be why you're dressed like such a whore Buster: Did you want me to ignore that? Rio: Obviously Rio: Not for you or this shitshow is it Buster: It's for my sister then? Buster: Cute Rio: You're so fucking messed up Buster: It's a party Buster: That's the point Rio: Mm enjoy Buster: Do you want a line before you fuck off? Rio: Seriously? Buster: What can I say? Host with the most Rio: Fuck off Rio: I'd sooner die than be drug buddies with you after how you've just spoken to me and about your sister Buster: I didn't offer it off my body, calm down Rio: Regardless, I don't want to go anywhere with you Rio: if I want some, I'll get my own Buster: I weren't offering to hold your hand, babe Buster: You're a big girl now Buster: It's there if you want it, end of discussion Rio: Yeah, just hand it over in front of your 'rents Rio: fucking genius Buster: My bathroom's set up already you fucking amateur Buster: You know the way Rio: Bye Buster: For now Rio: Easy enough to avoid until we're gone Buster: You've had years of practice but there's still no calling it that Rio: How many lines of you had Rio: the shit you're spewing rn Rio: take a break Buster: Catch up Buster: It'd be more fun Rio: There's no chance of having fun here Rio: tah Buster: Maybe you'd at least be able to keep up if you caught up though that'd be fun for me Rio: I told you Rio: I don't care if you have a shit time Rio: sorry 'bout it Buster: Tell yourself how much you don't care a few more times Rio: I'm telling you Rio: fucking spoilt brat, don't see no actual 👑 and fuck you anyway even if there was, golden boy Buster: I don't believe you Buster: You don't believe you Rio: As thrilling as talking in circles with you is Buster: Fuck me was the only part that was real there, babe Buster: That's your circle Buster: We always come back to it Rio: YOU do Rio: your favourite topic of conversation Buster: What do you wanna talk about? My sister some more Buster: Jesus Rio: We don't need to talk at all Rio: sure my name was in the card from the fam, yeah Buster: & yet we are & we do Rio: You started it Buster: Yeah Buster: I own that Rio: Nothing to be proud Rio: of Buster: I've got plenty more shit I can be Buster: It's alright Rio: Where Buster: I'll show you Buster: Come here Rio: Yeah, that's happening Buster: Then don't ask stupid questions Rio: Not stupid just because you don't have a better answer than that Buster: I don't need a better answer than that Buster: Not for you Rio: Love that cop-out Rio: so convenient Buster: I know you do Rio: 😂 Buster: Just go Rio: Stop talking to me Buster: Stop showing up at my birthday parties Rio: Awh diddums Buster: I'm serious Rio: Ooh Buster: She invited you, you didn't have to come Rio: I like Nancy Rio: she's family Rio: why wouldn't I Buster: Then meet her somewhere else Buster: Wherever the fuck you're meant to be going Rio: Than her house? Rio: You ain't special Rio: where do you think I'm gonna stay, hotel by myself Buster: Her room isn't next to mine like yours is next to whichever one of your siblings drew that straw Buster: I don't have to see you then Buster: I'm only seeing you now 'cause you want me to Rio: Oh my God Rio: actually dellusional Rio: Halloween came first, kid Rio: or you really out here thinking the world is celebrating Buster: One day maybe Buster: For now, nah Rio: 🙄 Rio: Then get a grip and get over it Buster: Get a grip on what & get over what? Buster: That you still love me or my sister don't Rio: Jesus Rio: you got the nerve when you uninvited her from her own birthday Rio: you know she don't even wanna be here so it was an empty gesture and you still couldn't be nice about it Buster: I didn't say it weren't mutual Buster: She's weak & that ain't my problem or my fault Rio: Oh, I didn't know I was speaking to the fucking ubermensch here Rio: nothing like some german philosophy to bring out the cunt in a white boy, cool Buster: 😂 Rio: Seriously, quote some Rand at me so I can just write you off the christmas card list now Buster: 'The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.' Rio: Thanks Rio: now we can give up this pretense once and for all Buster: I aim to please, babe Buster: Never let it be said you don't get what you want Rio: No one's ever said that Rio: 'cos you ain't the only person in the world who matters, Bateman Buster: That'd be so much more impressive if you meant it, Golden girl Rio: You're ridiculous Buster: So are you Rio: At least I'm not you Buster: If that'd make me you in this scenario then I'm glad too, like Rio: Everyone knows how glad you are to be you Rio: no need to go over that again Buster: & Everyone knows you want them to think you love yourself almost as much Buster: Shame you don't Rio: You're gonna psychoanalyze me now? Rio: glad the sessions are going well for you but that's a really annoying rookie habit Buster: I don't need to, you're obvious to even a casual fucking observer, like Buster: Give up that pretense if you're bothering to leave any behind Rio: Oh yeah, I'm whoring it up 'cos I'm desperate for validation and esteem from any cunt who'll give it Rio: Good one, Freud, such a hot take Buster: Not what I said Rio: Exactly what you meant Rio: worry 'bout yourself, I'm doing just fine Buster: I don't reckon you've ever had any idea exactly what I mean Buster: Probably don't try & start now Rio: That galaxy brain, whoever could compete Rio: I'm not trying, you're boring Buster: It ain't even that, you wanna deliberately misunderstand Rio: Yeah, love that Rio: blame me when you literally called me it Rio: gaslight some other bitch Buster: One day you're gonna stop fighting this if not me Buster: But yeah, there are plenty of other girls til then Rio: Fighting what Buster: Not today then, is it? Buster: Alright Rio: Wouldn't want to ruin your big day more than I already have Rio: how rude Buster: You've already shown up uninvited without a gift, taking all my spotlight, how much more out of order are you trying to be? Rio: Yeah, knew you loved it Rio: but protest some more, right Buster: What am I meant to love? Rio: Me ruining your life, apparently Buster: If that's apparent to you, you're fucked in more ways than I can start to try & analyze babe Rio: Again, you said it Rio: the drama is real Buster: & you said I was chatting shit Buster: So which is it? Rio: You are but you can believe and love the bullshit still Rio: hasn't stopped you before Buster: You wish Buster: But you don't get one, it's all me Rio: Thought you didn't need them Buster: I don't Buster: Maybe I want it Buster: Part of wanting everything, like Rio: Mhmm Buster: What do you want? Rio: I don't get one Buster: Doesn't mean you can't still want one Rio: You know you have to keep it secret or it don't come true, yeah Rio: that's wish law #1 Buster: What are you the fucking wish police? Buster: Come on Rio: Why do you wanna know Rio: got no ideas for when its time to blow out the candles or Buster: Christ, forget I fucking asked the question if you're gonna be such a pussy about it Rio: I will Rio: Nosy Buster: Better than boring Buster: Or scared Buster: If you don't ask, you don't get Rio: and sometimes, you still won't get Rio: there's a gift for you Buster: Cheers Buster: I'll wrap that bullshit back up for Nance, she'll take it wholeheartedly Buster: I always get what I want though Rio: Obviously not Buster: Where? Rio: Where to start Rio: [time to be properly chatting to that lad] Buster: [Oh good, time to be 😒 but also on the girl that you're meant to be about] Rio: [least you gotta go now so Nancy doesn't kill you, in a bit lads] Buster: [Leave him kissing & dancing & drinking & drunk taking] Buster: [drug* what] Rio: [idk what they're doing, maybe I'll look but let's assume it's cool] Buster: [lowkey anything's better than this] Rio: [soz rich kid party is not a mood] Buster: [it's really not & we all know it, him included even this early on] Buster: [later obvs] Buster: Where's Nance? Rio: She wanted to go bed and chill Rio: I'm not tired yet so Buster: Didn't ask for an update on your mood Rio: Not a mood but alright Rio: you got your answer as well Buster: & you got my point so calm the fuck down Rio: I'm chilling Buster: Good for you Rio: I'm not in your way so leave it Buster: You are in my way so leave though Rio: How am I Buster: How aren't you? Buster: We've been over it Rio: You're still getting attention, you're fine Buster: Fuck fine Buster: You're out of excuses, it ain't about giving my sister a good time anymore, so go, like Rio: I'm not going Rio: like him that much I'll go get a drink and you can slip back in, alright Buster: Shut up Rio: Exactly, you're being stupid Rio: you don't need everyone's undivided do you Rio: just hers, like Buster: You don't need to be here Buster: But you are Rio: 'cos I can Rio: I'm not hiding in your sister's room 'cos you're in a mood for some reason Buster: Some reason Buster: You know what the reason is Rio: Of course, I've 'ruined' your birthday Buster: You're still trying to Buster: Put my fucking mates down, yeah? Rio: Nah Rio: I'm over here trying to have a conversation Rio: not about you Buster: & you don't reckon he's gonna have a convo with me about it when you're done Buster: I don't wanna hear it Rio: Tell him to shut up Rio: What do you want me to tell you Buster: I'm telling you to shut up Buster: Before I have to tell him Rio: You don't tell me what to do or not Rio: if you reckon you got that kinda power over your friends go ahead Buster: Then tell yourself not to do it Buster: Fucking hell Rio: What Rio: Oh my God Buster: [is just fuming bitch like he's gotta go hit something probably excuse him] Rio: [just chatting to this lad oh girl] Buster: [when that girl he's with has probably gone to find him, oh girl x 2] Rio: [awkward, how this party going from bad to worse] Buster: [#hisinfluence] Buster: [When he probably shouted at her or told her to fuck off or something in private so then they gotta make up & everyone's gotta see it ew teens] Rio: [when you're lowkey disgusted] Buster: [aren't we all babe, at least she'd be cuter than most of the girls because one he was most bothered about/could have had something if he wasn't such a fake bitch] ] Rio: [take this lad to the garden for a hot sec 'cos don't need to be seeing this] Buster: [you brought that on yourself boy] Rio: [not gonna make you lose your v in the garden though bit rude, least they'd have guest rooms] Buster: [& a hot tub just saying] Rio: [potential] Rio: [boy should post a selfie rn 'cos duh you'd wanna brag] Buster: [that's so real] Buster: [Let's say Buster comes to have a word with said lad like just gonna pull him away and be like can you not bitch] Rio: Really Buster: Really Rio: Are you trying to be my dad Rio: what the hell Buster: You told me to have a word Buster: Just giving you what you want again, babe Rio: I thought you had some sense Rio: and enough pride to not Rio: fucking hell Buster: Back at you, Cavante Rio: What Rio: he's cute Rio: and the least annoying person at this party Rio: you should know, he's your friend Buster: Whatever you say Rio: Thanks for realizing that Buster: That you're full of shit Buster: Yeah, I did ages ago Rio: How am I Buster: Get some standards & get out of my party, like Rio: Easy Rio: [hit up that hot tub] Buster: [oh joy, I love that for us all] Rio: [when you're wearing a swimsuit basically so you good] Buster: [almost like she planned it] Rio: [at least it's died down enough you ain't gonna be the biggest spectacle ever] Buster: [don't need people filming you thanks] Rio: [chloe would sneaky rat] Buster: [girl you are the worst] Rio: [at least you gonna be looking good n doing but rude] Buster: [and at least it weren't the lad who filmed it & he's actually alright] Rio: [been a hater since day 1 i lol] Buster: [you put a baby in that boy, have a word with yourself] Rio: [yikes] Rio: [how we getting rid of this boy though 'cos he's gonna wanna stay and they ain't sleeping sleeping together 'cos too intimate not for you soz and also baze would find you in the morning and you'd be in the deepest of shit so?] Buster: [Maybe Chloe posts the vid & of course it gets to him really fast & when he sees it he's like THE PARTY'S OVER and kicks everyone out but he can't kick Rio out obvs] Rio: [sounds real, when you're just there like oh fuck] Buster: [when you go to your room in a huff slammed door and all like excuse you for not doing a Chris Ramsey drunk clean up tbh] Rio: Do you know who posted it Buster: Some girl Buster: Ask Nance Buster: [Because I feel like Chlo would have got one of her friends to do her dirty work cos sneaky rat who don't wanna get in trouble /get backlash cos she already likes Buster lbr] Rio: I'll just get it taken down Rio: doesn't matter really Buster: Good luck Rio: It's illegal, no one will want their name attached to that Rio: no one with any sense, I'll just remind them Buster: If they had any sense they wouldn't have posted it Buster: Clearly Rio: Yeah well Buster: Yeah well it's already been sent around everywhere anyway Rio: So what? Buster: So like I said, good luck erasing that Rio: I was just asking if you knew Buster: & I already told you Rio: Yeah thanks Rio: big help Buster: You didn't help yourself, that ain't my fault Rio: I'm not asking for your opinion Rio: it's your party, you should know who it was Buster: You wanted Nance to be included, let her figure it out Rio: She's sleeping Rio: and I'd rather not Buster: She's online Buster: So I doubt that Rio: Well I don't want to talk to her Buster: Well I don't wanna talk to you Buster: & I also don't care if you wanna talk to her or not Rio: I'm not trying to talk just find out Rio: how hard can it be Buster: Easy Buster: So easy that you don't need my help Rio: They're your cunty friends Buster: So's your new boyfriend Buster: Ask him Rio: Oh yeah, that'd be fun Rio: fuck sake Buster: Not my problem Rio: I hate you Buster: So what? Rio: So what I said Buster: Hate me then Buster: I'm not about to lose sleep over it Rio: I do Buster: You're not talking to Nance, I can read Buster: No need to repeat yourself, like Rio: Why can't you do this one thing Rio: I'm not asking you to care Buster: Why should I? Buster: I told you to leave my mates alone & you wouldn't Rio: So I deserved that to happen? Buster: If you're stupid enough not to fuck behind a locked door then yeah Rio: Fine Buster: Goodnight Rio: Right Buster: [time skip to the next day when everyone's talking about the vid & his mate is loving the attention or at least pretending to] Rio: Give me your postcode Rio: need to call a cab Buster: [Does] Rio: Tah Rio: If you're parents ask, I've gone home already Buster: Not me they'd ask Buster: I didn't invite you here Rio: Whatever Rio: You know the story now Buster: Whatever Buster: I'm inundated with loads of stories already, I ain't got time for yours Rio: 💔 Rio: Truly Rio: poor boy Buster: 'Course you are Rio: Nah Rio: I'm over it Rio: you should try it Buster: You should try not telling me what to do Rio: You should try not being so boring Buster: Says you Rio: That's the word you're using this morning Rio: makes a change Rio: just when I'd got used to my old title Buster: Get over that too Rio: S'alright Rio: don't need you when there's plenty other people dying for the chance to call me it Buster: 💔 truly Buster: Poor you Rio: Do I sound bothered? Rio: Keep up Rio: but don't, you aren't invited Buster: I'm not listening Buster: Keep up Rio: Too busy with the other stories? Rio: Cute Buster: It ain't cute Buster: None of it Rio: Leave your review in the comments Buster: Fuck off Rio: Go on Rio: give us something to laugh about Buster: Go on & fuck off Buster: How else do you want me to say it? Rio: Going, aren't I Rio: so touchy Buster: For someone who hates me, you're so chatty Rio: I told you, you're funny Rio: Hilarious, even Buster: I've told you, I aim to please Buster: Enjoy yourself Rio: Not the only one Buster: The only one who's funny though Rio: Not going to talk to him Rio: so I'm not too 💔 Buster: Lucky you Rio: Know you like him Rio: not exclusive and I'll be gone soon so don't be too jealous Buster: Shut up Buster: He's a cunt with a big mouth who I have to see every weekday until we graduate Buster: So cheers Rio: Lucky you Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm going out, try not to fuck anyone else & have it filmed before you leave Buster: Unless I don't know them Rio: Make no promises Rio: least of all to you Buster: I'm not too 💔 don't worry Buster: Doubt you could keep one Rio: Yeah right Buster: Right Buster: Don't hurry back, I won't have another birthday for you to ruin for ages now Rio: You still think this was in any way about you? Buster: For me, it's about me Buster: My birthday was fucked Rio: I don't feel sorry for you Buster: I don't give a shit Buster: & I also didn't ask Rio: That's ALL you're doing Rio: boohoo Rio: I'm glad it was ruined Rio: happy accident Buster: Be glad then Rio: Awh thanks Rio: so sweet Buster: So welcome Rio: 💕 Rio: Oh, you won't speak to your sister will you? Know you usually don't bother Buster: Do you not think before you type? Rio: Don't think before I do anything Rio: Obviously Rio: don't tell her where I've gone, she'll actually give a shit and I don't need that Buster: Obviously Rio: Thanks Rio: got some use Buster: Not doing it for you Buster: But yeah, go ahead & reap the benefits Rio: You think she hasn't seen it? Rio: Or actually tried to help already Rio: She's the decent one, remember Buster: I never said it was for her either Buster: I don't want to talk to her, it's that simple Rio: Can always rely on you to be simple Buster: Hilarious Rio: I already said you were, babe Buster: I was saying you are Buster: Except I wasn't Buster: Simple, yeah? Rio: More bullshit from you Rio: not so much simple as expected Buster: What can I say? You had enough disappointment in the hot tub Buster: No need for me to add to it Rio: That ain't what you saw, or heard Buster: What do you care, you're over it Rio: Changing bullshit for outright lying Rio: You're better than that Buster: Who says? Rio: You, constantly Rio: usually Buster: & You say I'm chatting shit Rio: You're the best, aren't you? Rio: Or that's another lie Buster: Obviously Rio: To which bit Buster: Take it however you like Rio: Suddenly being generous Buster: That don't count as generosity unless you count ending this convo as that Rio: Nah Rio: Entertain me 'til I get there Buster: That wouldn't be generosity either Rio: Host with the most, you said Buster: That was last night Buster: & you didn't take me up on it then Rio: I am now Buster: Well it's not an offer I'm extending now Buster: Unlucky Rio: Come on Buster: Nah Rio: Pussy Buster: That's the best you can do? Rio: You said you don't wanna find out Buster: Now you're choosing to care about what I want Buster: Bullshit Rio: Not gonna do it just because I want to Rio: not that bitch Buster: & You're calling me a pussy Rio: You want me to jump you? Rio: The kind of preference that needs a safeword and you don't wanna talk so Buster: 😂 Rio: Such a joker today Buster: Laugh or cry, yeah? Rio: Nothing to cry about Rio: still got to make your wish, yeah Buster: Still according to you, I am Rio: Why else Buster: What? Rio: Why else wouldn't you take me up on it Buster: Why would I take you up on anything? Rio: You can't pretend this with me Buster: You ain't special, babe Buster: & I can do anything Rio: Bullshit Buster: Which part are you wishing weren't true? Rio: Didn't get a wish, don't need one Buster: Don't stop you wanting one though, does it? Rio: You're the only one who's gonna regret it Rio: like I said, pussy Buster: Like I said, nah Rio: And I told you, you can't lie to me Buster: I'm not Rio: Whatever Rio: I'm here so you can go bore someone else Rio: great chat Buster: Nice try on the sarcasm Buster: I thought you weren't gonna bother Rio: Obviously what you're into Buster: Cute Buster: But it'd take more than that for me to be into you Rio: You're so bad at this Buster: Stop trying to prolong it then Rio: Someone's got to teach you Rio: like old times Buster: You didn't teach me fuck all Rio: 😂 Buster: The only thing that I've ever learned from being around you is that I shouldn't drink brandy Rio: Yeah, and it's been how long since you ignored that lesson Rio: Hopeless Buster: Good thing I don't need hope then Rio: You know what you need Rio: so do I Buster: & You think I'm bad at this Rio: If you ever wanna stop being boring and bored, let me know Buster: If you're ever capable of being the solution to my boredom, I will Rio: Awh, but you don't need solutions to your perfect life, yeah golden boy? Buster: Being bored doesn't take the shine off my life, babe Buster: Name someone our age who isn't Rio: You're always gonna be bored Buster: & If I am, you won't be the solution Rio: You ain't looking Rio: wanna be prom king forever Rio: ain't fun and it ain't real but what's that matter to you Buster: What's it matter to you? Rio: I give a shit Rio: I can own it Buster: No you don't Rio: Do though Buster: Bullshit Buster: If you gave a single fuck about me you wouldn't fuck my friend at my birthday & make me see & hear about it Rio: I didn't think you would Buster: Even if there wasn't a video he was always gonna brag about it Buster: Come on Rio: That wasn't why I did it Buster: I don't care why you did it Rio: You can't say I don't care based on that Rio: is all I'm saying Buster: Yeah I can Rio: Alright but it's not true Buster: It is Rio: You wish it was Buster: Why would I wish for that? Rio: Easier Buster: Fuck that Rio: I'm sorry Rio: alright Buster: No, it ain't, 'cause you being sorry or saying it don't change anything Rio: They'll stop talking about it soon Buster: & Then it'll be like it didn't happen, yeah? Buster: Shut up Rio: Yeah, basically Buster: Nah, basically he was the least cunty of my friends & now he ain't anymore Buster: So cheers Rio: You can still be mates Rio: he'll get over it too Buster: I can't fucking look at him Buster: Try again Rio: You too Rio: come on Buster: Come on, what? Get some new mates so you can fuck them as well Rio: No like Rio: just forget about it Rio: don't think about it Buster: Yeah sure Rio: I said sorry Rio: it doesn't need to be this big thing Buster: It can be whatever the fuck you want, for you Rio: I'm Rio: just trying to help Buster: Don't Rio: I'm going, alright Rio: I can't do any more for you than that then, yeah? Rio: You hate me so just keep telling everyone that and they'll know you don't care Buster: I said, don't Buster: Even if I needed your advice, which let's face it I never fucking will, I ain't asking Rio: Let me do something Buster: Too late to start asking for my permission, babe Rio: Buster Buster: You can't use my name against me either, you ain't my mum Rio: I'm not trying to Buster: I know what you're trying to do Rio: I just wanna put it right Buster: How shit for you that you can't then Buster: You'll have to just want Rio: Fine Rio: spite yourself Buster: You think this is my loss? Nah Rio: Nah, you don't get to chat that when I ruined your birthday and took your bestest mate Rio: you don't get to have it both ways so how do you want it Buster: I get to have it any way I want, how haven't you figured that out yet, like Buster: I'll have another birthday in a year & some new mates you can fuck by then too probably Buster: Have another go then if you fancy it Rio: Because it's not true Rio: How fucking fragile is your throne if all it takes is one person who doesn't buy into your bullshit to come in and it's all gone Rio: you've got fuck all and it's sad and I do feel bad for you, really bad Buster: Cute Rio: Not even a little bit Buster: You said it Buster: Go whore around your own postcode for a while & we'll reconvene at the next family gathering I get dragged to Rio: Get some help Rio: Seriously Buster: Go work for the Samaritan's or some shit, you've really found a calling, like Rio: Thanks Buster: I'll catch you on the other end of a phone line then Buster: Clearly Rio: That's not funny Buster: I ain't laughing Rio: Stop it Buster: But if I keep going, I can offer you an apology and we'll be even, yeah? Rio: Say what you like about me Rio: you always have Rio: I don't need one Buster: Good Buster: I'd hate to keep you waiting on it Rio: This isn't about me Buster: Well it ain't about me Buster: You don't fucking know me Rio: They do, do they Buster: Irrelevant Rio: Do you enjoy it Buster: Obviously Buster: Can't you tell? Rio: You don't want me to tell you what I can tell Rio: not repeating myself, am I Buster: Doesn't normally stop you Rio: Well, I'm trying Rio: not afraid to admit it either Buster: Good for you Rio: What happened Buster: Do you wanna be any less vague? Rio: To you Buster: Really cleared things up, cheers Rio: You know what I mean Rio: and you probably have ideas too Rio: you can tell me Buster: Why would or should I though? Rio: What do you have to lose Buster: What the fuck is there to gain? Rio: Find out Buster: Nice try Rio: What do I gain Buster: Answers Buster: That's generally what people want when they ask a question Rio: Nah Buster: Then stop asking Rio: No Buster: Good talk, babe Buster: Cheers Rio: One day Rio: You'll actually do it and you'll actually mean it Buster: Yeah but not with or for you Rio: I don't care who it's with Buster: One day you'll actually mean that Rio: More likely than you finding anyone here to talk to Buster: I don't want to talk to anyone here Rio: I know Buster: Don't worry about my odds then Rio: I will Rio: because you need to Buster: I don't Rio: Yes you do Buster: Stop chatting shit at me Buster: You call me out for it enough Rio: You know why Buster: Do I? Rio: Yes Buster: No Rio: You do but we don't have to talk about that now Buster: You haven't shut up about anything else Buster: Might as well Rio: You know it ain't the right time Buster: Like a right time exists Rio: Maybe not Buster: A maybe is ridiculous, even for you Rio: Probably Rio: oh well Buster: Are we done? Buster: I'm not pissing about with your one word answers Rio: Defensive 'cos you're not giving even that Rio: but sure, if you want Buster: I can be offensive if you'd rather Rio: How you usually do Rio: Not going to bring up your stamina right now but well Buster: Understandable, like I said, not gonna rub it in your face about the hot tub disappointment Rio: Is it helpful to reckon it was shit Rio: Genuinely Buster: It's honest Buster: But if you wanna pretend otherwise, go ahead, like Rio: Why are we talking about it? Buster: It's the right time for it Rio: Okay Rio: let's talk about it then Buster: I've said everything I've got to say Rio: Seriously? Rio: You can do better Buster: I'm flattered that you feel the need to say so, again Rio: Come on Rio: Already said, no apology needed Rio: so go for it Buster: Okay now it makes sense, you get off on it Rio: Yeah Rio: That'll be it Buster: Why you keep trying to make me angry, yeah Rio: Yeah Rio: was the plan all along Buster: It's the plan now regardless Rio: Okay Buster: Okay for you Rio: More than okay Rio: apparently Buster: It would be if I'd play along properly Buster: Sadly, I'm not aiming to please that hard Rio: Shame Buster: Again, for you, yeah Rio: I know Rio: but I don't care about you, do I? Buster: Not enough, no Rio: Just wanna make you angry Buster: Apparently Rio: Yep Rio: so angry Buster: Don't worry, it ain't too difficult Buster: Even someone as nice & polite as you can manage Rio: Yeah Rio: I ain't special, am I Buster: Not to me Rio: Say it Buster: What? Rio: Say I'm not special to you Buster: It's already there in black & white Buster: You're not my sister either, you can read Rio: Please Buster: Why? Rio: Because it gets me off, right Rio: why else Buster: 'Cause I'm not interested in doing that Buster: Try again Rio: Why? Rio: however I get you to say it, end results the same Buster: No it's not Buster: Whatever I say, you know how I fucking feel Rio: If you say it enough we might both believe it Buster: That's the lie of the day Buster: Well done Rio: Try my best Buster: Try harder & do better Rio: I can't Buster: Bullshit Rio: Not today Buster: Why not? It's a day same as any other, yeah? Rio: No Rio: I saw you Rio: that's different Buster: Barely Buster: & you barely saw me last night either Rio: It was still Rio: different Rio: still true Buster: I'm not gonna be your excuse for why you feel shit Rio: You know that's not what I'm saying Buster: That's what not trying is & you said you can't 'cause of me Buster: So that is what you're saying Rio: it's not an excuse, I know what I did Rio: but it still hurts it's still shit Buster: I'm not gonna feel sorry for you either Rio: I know Rio: that's the worst bit Buster: How the fuck did you think this was gonna play out? Rio: I didn't think Rio: and I didn't think someone would film it and make sure everyone saw Buster: You obviously did think Buster: You made a choice Rio: What, the choice to get with some cute lad at a party Rio: plenty of people were doing the same, you were Buster: It wasn't a random party or a random lad Buster: You can say it wasn't about me as much as you want but Buster: You made a choice that you knew would affect me Rio: And I've been making choices all morning to try and do anything to make it alright Rio: why do they could for shit and that one is everything Buster: 'Cause you can't unfuck him Buster: I can't unsee or unhear everything I have since Rio: then you have to stop Rio: you know Rio: it has to be you, if I can't do anything now, if I've made my choice Buster: Alright Rio: Okay? Buster: Easy Rio: I hope it is Rio: for you Buster: Everything's easy for me, babe Buster: Remember Rio: No Rio: but good Buster: Anything else? Rio: I'm actually going home now so you don't have to lie to your fam about it Buster: I wasn't planning to Rio: Alright Rio: Bye Buster: See you around when there's no other choice Rio: Not as hard to avoid each other still as we pretended before Rio: plenty been doing it just fine for years Buster: It's never been hard to avoid you, I just didn't wanna Rio: I know Buster: Unknow it Buster: Or at least pretend, like Rio: I told you Rio: I'll try Buster: You tell me loads of things Buster: 99% of 'em bullshit Rio: That's us Buster: There ain't an us, that's the point Rio: Was, then Buster: Fuck the past, it's gone Rio: Yeah Buster: Consider that kid dead & buried Rio: You can't make me Buster: Watch me Rio: No, I can't Buster: Don't be a pussy Rio: I can't watch this Rio: but that suits you fine too Buster: It only hurts if you let it Buster: That suits me fine too Rio: I don't have a choice in that Buster: Yeah you do Rio: No Buster: Seriously Rio: Seriously, I don't Rio: I meant it Rio: you have to stop it Rio: I can't do this Buster: I already said I will Buster: Consider it done Rio: Thank you Buster: Don't Buster: We ain't doing each other favours Buster: Whatever I do or don't is for me Rio: It helps me regardless so just take it alright Buster: I won't Rio: Buster Rio: Please stop replying now Buster: [does because ultimately always gonna give her what he thinks she wants]

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Fraze

Bea: Might just turn the dodgy cooker on and gas us all Fraze: Dramatic Fraze: Let's leg it before then, like Bea: Not dramatic just real Bea: how many card games can we play before it stops raining Fraze: So come on Fraze: I know you ain't put off by water falling from the fucking sky Bea: You think of a reason we need to be out there then Bea: there's no French exiting rn Fraze: Don't need one, everyone's pissing me off & I'm sick of this fucking caravan, so are you Fraze: End of story Bea: And I'm gonna calm you down, yeah? Fraze: You don't need to go into your tactics but yeah Bea: Don't make me laugh Fraze: Why not? Bea: 'cos there's literally nothing funny about being stuck in here with this lot Bea: wish they'd have let us stay home Fraze: Leave with me then Fraze: Fuck overthinking it Bea: Of course I wanna Bea: where are we even going, actually Bea: never mind where we say we are Fraze: Home, another seaside shithole, round the corner Fraze: Does it matter Fraze: If it ain't inside here, I'll take it Bea: [Tess being like help me make lunch or something] Bea: Ha Bea: when you decide lemme know, have to meet you there Fraze: [is the definition of a moody teen rn soz everyone] Fraze: Or you could just come with me now Bea: Sure, when you're the one that's gotta tell your mum no, we'll do that Bea: what's five more minutes of hell Fraze: [Storms out because the mature response like soz if anyone tries to ask him where he's going or wtf cos just gonna be a rude hoe] Bea: save me a 🚬 Fraze: You can have 'em all, my lighter's fucking dead Bea: least you got a valid reason to go shop then Fraze: Cheers for the positive spin, babe Bea: ☀ when there ain't none Bea: I know Bea: been said so many times Fraze: Don't make me laugh Bea: Why not, you're free Bea: temporarily Fraze: 'Cause I'm not in the mood to shout 'free at last' or some shit even if I am Bea: Poor baby Bea: not gonna feel bad for you 'til I've made these kids stupidly specific sandwich orders Fraze: It don't mean you've gotta take the piss 'til then Bea: I ain't Fraze: Whatever Fraze: I don't wanna kick off at you, do I Bea: I know Bea: it's shit Bea: but we can't be throwing tantrums like we're their age, like Fraze: If they wanna treat me like a fucking kid instead of letting me stay home then why the fuck shouldn't I act like one Bea: 'cos I don't wanna fuck some whiny kid, do I? Bea: Think on Fraze: Alright I'll come back & help prepare lunch like I'm some old bloke Fraze: Fuck off Bea: Yeah, that's my type in a one Bea: twat Fraze: What do you fucking want, Bea? Bea: No, what do you want Bea: 'cos not kicking off at me is bullshit Fraze: & you reckon I'm the one who's skilled at turning any shit into a fight, yeah? Fraze: Have a word with yourself Bea: Seriously Bea: I was just trying to talk to you without going on about how shitty we all know this is already Fraze: Seriously, I really like you but you really wind me up Bea: Hardly gonna take that personal Bea: everything winds you up Fraze: Yeah well Fraze: Fucking genetic probably Bea: If you're happy with that excuse Bea: don't seem it Fraze: Well done working that out, like Bea: hardly the enigma code but tah Fraze: Still, credit where it's due Bea: So sweet Fraze: Course, get told that all the time Bea: doesn't SOUND like something your mum'd say Bea: but I'll take your word for it Fraze: So trusting Bea: Any particular reason I shouldn't be? Fraze: Loads but none of them are 'cause of me Bea: Yeah Bea: don't need to take the convo there Bea: do we Fraze: I'm just saying Fraze: I am pretty godlike but I didn't create the world, like Bea: 😂 Bea: You're lucky I don't have friends to send all the stupid shit you say to Fraze: You wouldn't even if you did Fraze: You ain't like that Bea: Lucky you Fraze: Yeah Fraze: You finished these sandwiches yet or what? Fraze: Really fucked your Saturday job prospects if you ain't Bea: Rude but can't say I'm too gutted Bea: if the punters were even half as annoying as my sister Bea: you still want me to come Fraze: Do you need me to say I miss you Fraze: You're meant to be smart Bea: I am Bea: why do you think I'm waiting for you to say it Fraze: Fair Bea: Go on then Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: I miss you Fraze: Tell my ma you're going to find me & then do it Bea: Alright Bea: Be right there Bea: where are you though Fraze: Went the shop Fraze: & didn't get banned Fraze: See? So grown up now Bea: Impressive Bea: don't change too much thoug Fraze: 'Course not Fraze: Basically perfect as I am Bea: 😏 Bea: Shut up Fraze: You know you don't want me to Bea: Maybe not Fraze: I've got loads to say to you Bea: Yeah? Fraze: Come find out Fraze: Hear me out Bea: I am Fraze: Good Bea: [Show up like I'm listening] Fraze: [Gives her sweets he just bought cos you don't have to say everything with words and he did miss her & he's sorry for being a dick 99% of the time] Bea: [just happy about this 'cos unexpected and pure] Fraze: [kisses her obvs] Bea: [kissing back with feeling 'cos missed you too] Fraze: [then lights a 🚬 for her cos she said save me one and he ain't forgotten, always listening this boy] Bea: [when it's so needed lmao, 'you're the best'] Fraze: [when you wanna stay in the good books so you telling her how much you've been thinking about her and what you've been thinking] Bea: [when you're pouty 'there's no fucking privacy here'] Fraze: [you can literally see the cogs turning because he's trying to think of where they can find some. 'When the rain stops they'll all fuck off out & we can head back in without being seen'] Bea: ['has to stop eventually, yeah' smiles, 'reckon we can pretend you got lost on the way to your room and ended up in mine or?'] Fraze: [Smiles too because actually likes the rain for the mems and the fact there's literally nobody about. 'Nah but there's no need to pretend you're the only fucker I want around me this holiday, not a secret, like'] Bea: ['exactly, they're not reckoning it's 'cos I'm so special, like' rolls her eyes] Fraze: ['you are though'] Fraze: [Gives her a LOOK and it's not a pisstaking one] Bea: [when you don't know what to say or do so you're just like 'see how you feel when you're not stuck in a tin can with that lot'] Fraze: ['you reckon I'm gonna change my mind, yeah?'] Bea: [shrugs in a 'let's see' kinda way but is pulling herself closer to him] Fraze: [kisses her because he won't & we all know it but ILY curse is trying to get me] Bea: [just about to be like wanna go loiter in the arcades or something when the cars pull up like get in we're going cinema/aquarium/bowling whatever rainy day activity and you're just there like what did they seeeeeeee] Fraze: [is literally 😒 and trying to be like we're alright here cheers but who is listening cos you ain't mcvickers you can't run totally wild without nobody giving a shit soz] Bea: [getting in the car like lord jesus help me, poor Joe, least you have each other] Fraze: [literally fuming because you can't get up to anything like you're JJ unlucky lads so 🚬 out the window to annoy your mum oh boy you're gonna get a slap] Bea: this is wholesome family fun Fraze: Don't Fraze: Fucking hell Bea: you know, have something to write in our 'what I did on my holiday' diaries Bea: 👍 Fraze: There's shit I'd rather be writing Fraze: Even if Miss would rather not read it Bea: 😂 Bea: Might be into it Bea: more likely ring the social but you know Fraze: Place your bets Bea: I feel like I'm Rocky's age rn Fraze: I ain't fucking having loads more days of them treating us like we are Bea: I know Bea: what you gonna do Fraze: I dunno yet Fraze: Loads of time to work it out while we're stuck doing this bullshit though Bea: True Bea: get my thinking cap on Fraze: What if like Bea: Go on Fraze: I was just thinking how much good came out of us watching the kid last time Fraze: If we take the baby my ma won't care what we do Fraze: When it ain't raining he needs to go for walks and shit Bea: That's a good idea Bea: get to pretend we're being helpful Bea: let us do that all we want Fraze: I dunno how I'm gonna get her to think I give a shit about this one but could work Bea: 'cos you're so mature now Bea: probably dash that cig out though Fraze: You want a go on it first? It's gonna be a long fucking day Bea: Yeah Bea: may as well Bea: least we don't have to try and keep this secret and all Fraze: My ma can reckon she's worked all mine out if that's as far as she gets Fraze: [Shameless excuse for her to lean out of the window with him and them to be close for as long as the 🚬 lasts] Bea: Bit better, like Fraze: Yeah Fraze: [At least a small mercy if Fearghal is driving them aside from no annoying kids there'd be some fucking jams playing lol] Bea: [If y'all ain't picking up on these vibes you're dumb af lmao like hello] Fraze: [the looks that'd be going back and forth because stuck in this car and nothing else they can do] Bea: You're so blatant 😏 Fraze: Shut up Fraze: I ain't Bea: and so easy to wind up Fraze: If you wanna see blatant, watch this Fraze: [Does something risky and saucy like boy no] Bea: Fraze Fraze: Bea Bea: What are you doing Fraze: Proving a point Fraze: I can always be more blatant Fraze: & you're just as easy to wind up Bea: Dickhead Bea: this is beyond blatant Fraze: And you ain't mad about it Bea: they'll be more than that if we get caught right now Fraze: Who's catching us? My da's driving & Joe ain't on the same planet Bea: I hate you, you know Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: I know you don't Bea: Okay so I don't but Fraze: But what? Are you gonna try and tell me you hate this Bea: Nah Fraze: There's no but then, is there? Bea: [just gives him a look] Fraze: [Gives her one back] Bea: Are we sure I don't hate you? Fraze: You tell me, babe Fraze: [Boy you better stop, getting so cocky about this sneaking around life] Bea: [When one of you needs to know better but you don't] Fraze: [Makes me lol because ruster are exactly the same in the future, Oh Bea you can't say shit my dear but good luck] Bea: When we get there Bea: come with me okay Fraze: 'Course Bea: I can't wait but that's your fault so Fraze: Much as I like winding you up, I ain't gonna make you Bea: Don't Fraze: I told you, I miss you Bea: You don't need to Bea: we can do this Bea: whatever we want Fraze: I know Fraze: Me & you Fraze: There's nothing we can't do Bea: Yeah Bea: [look of love beech] Fraze: [Gives it back obvs] Bea: [let's get 'em out of this car, how far away is it gonna be] Fraze: [Has anyone ever gotten out of a car faster in their life] Bea: [casual torture of having to wait to pay and go in, so drama] Fraze: [At least that can be masked as they don't wanna be here, thank god] Bea: [the joys of family holidays amirite everyone] Fraze: [There's probably so many people there cos all had the same idea so would take ages] Bea: [least if baby Rock started fussing they could be like WE'LL GO lmao] Fraze: [Good idea guys, get that plan rolling] Bea: I think all of Dublin is here today Fraze: Be harder for my Ma to keep an eye on us then Bea: don't think it's us she reckons will be tryna take the sealife home in our pockets Bea: we're good Fraze: 😂 Fraze: Yeah, we're good Bea: Very Fraze: 😏 Bea: actually can't see through these crowds Bea: how close to the front are we Fraze: [Lols because she's so smol] Fraze: Not close enough Bea: don't laugh at me it's claustrophobic down here Fraze: Want me to pick you up? Bea: Yes Bea: but no Bea: 'cos then I'll just wanna Bea: go Fraze: [A dangerous look] Bea: Stop it Fraze: Easier said than done Fraze: But alright Bea: You're so distracting Bea: I can't look at anyone else Fraze: Don't Fraze: There isn't anyone else Bea: I wish that was true right now Fraze: [Takes her hand for a sec stealthily because same] Bea: [ily curse always just hold that hand really tight and shh] Fraze: [But then let go before any of the kids notice you cos the kind of shit they would] Bea: [y'all shut your nosy mouths] Fraze: [Let's stop being mean and say it's their turn to go in finally] Bea: [when you dash off so fast you look like you're buzzing about the aquarium]7 Fraze: [bye bitches] Bea: [bathroom shennanigans as if people wouldn't be queuing and judging] Fraze: [Thank god they could give less of a shit, no shame ever] Bea: [soz not soz fam/world] Fraze: [Later talking about how he's gonna have a massive aquarium in his house one day cos rich people shit] Bea: ['have a shark, very bond'] Fraze: [is buzzing about that idea shamelessly] Fraze: [The convo obvs turns into what else he's gonna have when he's rich af] Bea: [a convo she can get behind obvs, probably knows what she wants to do already lbr so] Fraze: [control your 😍 boy] Bea: [when you're lowkey having a good time #fakes] Fraze: [Especially because he'd make her share the sweets he bought her earlier none for you though kids #soz] Bea: [so shaded, also don't want your gross fishy hands in the bag tho so] Fraze: [stealing Rocky to trial run this plan because only so much chatting and looking at fish you can do after a while] Bea: [looking like the youngest parents ever] Fraze: [Judgey looks from old people activate but maybe the rain stops for a sec so they can take him outside cos he's 'fussy' and be alone for a sec] Bea: ['When I'm rich, I won't ever go on holiday anywhere where the weather ain't perfect'] Fraze: [When you mean to say you but you say we because in love 'We can like hire an island or some shit'] Bea: [when you don't correct 'cos you don't wanna just meeting it with enthusiasm, 'until we can afford to buy one, obviously'] Fraze: [When you're just grinning because you hadn't even considered being that rich cos lowkey poor af forever & you so happy you're even being nice to baby Rocky, it's a moment] Bea: [he would be cute lbr] Fraze: [when you snuggling him and your bae so you do look like a fam lol] Bea: [haters back off it's cute] Fraze: [giving her so many 😍 like just say it boy, I'm dying] Bea: ['he looks a bit like you when you were a kid' 'cos baby mems] Fraze: [Looks at him like hmmm like he never thought about it cos probably hasn't. 'Ain't as cute as me though'] Bea: [Lols and covers Rocky's ears like don't listen] Fraze: [whispers something hot in her ear while his are covered] Bea: [does that fake face slap thing ('cos you're so scandalized ok) where you use your hands to plant a smooch] Fraze: [some good kissing for a minute because baby Rocky isn't a cockblock] Bea: [real MVP] Fraze: [but then the rain is back so gotta take that baby back in sorry lads] Bea: [mother nature cockblocking, there's probably a shitty cafe they could sit in, share a coke] Fraze: [the fucking mems] Bea: [also a giftshop pls buy something dorky] Fraze: [some stationary for her of some sort cos he's always ripping the piss about homework like] Bea: [get the boy a shark] Fraze: [bitch I nearly screamed] Bea: [when you pretend you ain't but you're so cute] Fraze: [so like mcvickers goodbye] Fraze: [okay but Tommy, Ali & Ro descending upon the gift shop so you gotta stop being coupley af for a sec] Bea: [always having to stop kids buying the most ridiculous tat in places like that] Fraze: [Tommy wanting to get something 'girly/fabulous' and Fraze making fun of him because job as big brother and dickhead] Bea: [just walking away from that situation, lord knows what Ali and Ro are after lmao] Fraze: [I'm just like Joe? Are you okay babe? Where is he] Bea: [does anyone care, 'scuse you] Fraze: [Tess because shameless fave #problematic] Bea: [we get it, he's your easiest child but honey it's because he's bottling that shit up for later] Fraze: [Mcvickers steering all the children away from the tat like come on, the rain's stopped again] Bea: [hit that beach lads] Fraze: [But a minor hiccup of discovering Ali's trying to steal creatures haha] Fraze: 😂 Bea: Probably a crime if she weren't underage Bea: have to hit up greenpeace sharpish Fraze: You know she was counting on those giant fucking eyes and knowing smile to get her out of it Fraze: Get your sister to start crying on her behalf if all else failed, like Bea: Probably a solid plan Fraze: Don't miss a trick that one Fraze: They're basically the Krays that pair Bea: 😂 Bea: with more menace Fraze: Exactly Bea: Some of the shit they get up that your mum tells me Bea: so God knows what else actually Fraze: I don't reckon I wanna know Fraze: Have to sleep with one eye open then Bea: Seriously Bea: not to mention plausible deniability Fraze: Yeah Fraze: You wanna go to the beach with that lot? Bea: Not if you have a better offer Fraze: Easy to bullshit that we're coming but then hang back at the caravan Fraze: It'll be ages before they give a shit we ain't there Fraze: If they do Fraze: And then even easier to say you're sick or something Bea: Yeah Bea: we've done our bit for the day Bea: not gonna be mad if we want some time to chill Fraze: Been the best babysitters going Bea: Exactly Bea: weather providing Bea: owed at least an hour or so of interrupted alone time Fraze: Thinking about that makes this car ride back less of a pisstake Bea: You'll make it, babe 😏 Fraze: I'll survive for you, yeah Fraze: Plenty of room on this floating door like Bea: such a romantic, you Fraze: One of many things about me that appeals to you, I know Fraze: Can't offer to draw you though Bea: Could give it a go for you Fraze: Yeah? Fraze: Alright Bea: Not promising it'll be worth much but you know Fraze: I can promise I ain't gonna sell it Fraze: Won't need the money for our island, will I? Bea: Should probably kick it for your eyes only if we're going full Titanic here, like 😂 Bea: 'course not, heart of the ocean was trashy anyway Fraze: When I buy you jewelry you better fucking not throw it into the sea Fraze: Rich but not stupid Bea: Have better taste than her dickhead fiancee, like Fraze: Not hard Bea: Thanks for the stationery Bea: even if you were taking the piss Fraze: No need to thank me just don't lob it out the car window Fraze: Or into the sea Bea: or at your head, yeah Bea: got it Fraze: You can chuck it at my head Fraze: That's foreplay basically Bea: Hmm Bea: know it was your first time and everything but Fraze: 😂 Fraze: I like buying shit for you anyway Fraze: I can't tell anyone we're together but I still want you to know, like Bea: I know Bea: not gonna forget Fraze: Good Fraze: Don't Bea: Nah, never Fraze: [a look because ILY curse is strong] Bea: Imagine how much easier it'd be Fraze: What? Bea: if it was a normal situation and we could just be honest about it Fraze: Change one thing & you change all of it though Fraze: How we met weren't normal but I don't wanna unmeet you Fraze: Who the fuck would we even be? Bea: Yeah Bea: you're right Bea: must be nice though Fraze: If you wanna tell 'em, we can Fraze: I chose you first & you're not my fucking sister Bea: It ain't even that I wanna Bea: I dunno Bea: fuck being normal anyway yeah Fraze: Figure out what you do want & I'll figure out how to give it to you Fraze: You know that Bea: Just like that? Fraze: Yeah Bea: That's why I like you Fraze: I mean it Fraze: There's nothing I can't do & even less we can't do together Bea: I know you do Bea: and I want you so badly right now Fraze: Then I'll have to make it happen, won't I? Fraze: Can't break a promise that fast Bea: I'm so ready to be alone with you Fraze: Me too Bea: [THE TENSION like soz Joe seriously] Fraze: [hence I'm like he's gotta at least have a clue what's occurring] Bea: [you know, also not an idiot, everyone knows they're basically in love anyways] Fraze: [exactly and they are not subtle especially him at sneaking about in the night/morning] Bea: [foosie moment 'cos what else are you getting away with rn] Fraze: [At least it's not a long car ride even though it feels like forever] Bea: Fuck Bea: what if Joe doesn't go either Bea: he's had a shittier day than us Fraze: I'll kick him out Fraze: He ain't won a fight against me for years Bea: Yes but will that actually work on convincing him Fraze: You got a better idea? Bea: Let me think Fraze: Not stopping you Fraze: Think on Bea: You are Bea: looking like that Fraze: Don't Fraze: Where else can we go if not there? Bea: Okay, so if he won't leave Bea: there's the shower blocks, yeah? and it's got the washing up bit too, so one of us needs a shower and one of us is being 😇 again Bea: barely anyone would be there in the day Fraze: Or I could break into another caravan Fraze: That'd be piss easy Bea: Probably Bea: Risky if the next family shows up, like Fraze: The weather's shit and so's this place Fraze: Other families have more sense Bea: 😂 Bea: alright then Bea: we'll work it out Fraze: 'Course Fraze: It's a plan Fraze: you go to the shower blocks, see how busy they are & I'll scope out the other caravans Bea: Okay Bea: Easy Fraze: Might still give Joe a slap anyway Fraze: Just 'cause Bea: Don't be mean Fraze: Don't be on his side Fraze: He ain't on yours, I am Bea: I'm not Bea: focus on me then, not him Fraze: I will Fraze: Soon as I can Bea: Good Fraze: I just can't fucking look at you right now Fraze: Jesus Bea: I know Fraze: I really wanna do something really stupid Bea: How stupid Fraze: Whatever you're thinking of, go harder than that Bea: Shit Bea: I already know that regardless they ain't gonna leave fast enough or be gone long enough Fraze: That's why I reckon another caravan's our best bet Fraze: We can just stay there Fraze: Even when they get back Bea: I just Bea: want you over and over again Fraze: I told you, whatever you want Bea: let's just stay away Bea: long as we can Fraze: Alright Bea: I hate it when you have to leave straight after Fraze: I don't wanna Bea: I know, it's just how it is Fraze: How it is is I don't ever wanna leave you Bea: Fraze Fraze: Yeah? Bea: I really like you, you know Fraze: I really like you too Fraze: Always have done Bea: Me too Bea: I'm not sorry for kissing you then, when we were little Fraze: I'm not sorry for anything back then or now Bea: Promise? Fraze: I swear Fraze: I told my Da I was gonna marry you, like I was having a man to man chat with him or some shit Fraze: Stupid but like I knew what I wanted, you know Fraze: I still do Bea: You've never told me that Fraze: Like I said, it was stupid Fraze: I was only a kid Bea: Not stupid Bea: but I won't call it cute either, know you don't like it Fraze: It's alright, he took the piss out of me, you can Bea: I don't wanna Bea: and I ain't Bea: we're all stupid when we're kids yeah Fraze: 'Course Fraze: Grew out of it, like Fraze: Basically Bea: Yeah Bea: not completely, I hope Bea: you promised me something really stupid Fraze: nah, not completely & not you Fraze: Couldn't grow out of liking you Bea: Sorry that I ain't sorry Fraze: I don't want you to be sorry Fraze: I ain't Fraze: Only that I didn't tell you before Bea: it's not like we didn't know Bea: it was just Bea: ignoring it for Bea: whatever reason Fraze: It's for them Fraze: But I don't give a fuck any more Bea: They can't actually stop us Bea: anyone Fraze: I didn't want my Ma to get any shit from the social or whoever & I don't but Fraze: I don't owe her shit Fraze: She dodged enough bullets when me and Joe were kids and she knows it Bea: Me either, obviously Bea: I owe her more but Bea: it's no one's business, it's so stupid Bea: we aren't related Fraze: Like I said, you were mine first Fraze: None of 'em would know you if I didn't Fraze: They don't get to tell me what I can do Bea: Why do I like when you say that Fraze: 'Cause it's right Bea: Yeah Bea: You're mine too Fraze: Yeah Bea: It's so surreal Fraze: I can pinch you if you want Fraze: It ain't a dream though Bea: You're an idiot Fraze: A fool for you, like Fraze: That's it Bea: [lols] Bea: well done 😏 Fraze: Smarter than you reckon Bea: You know that's not how I mean it Fraze: You're the only one who don't underestimate me Bea: 'cos I'M not stupid either Bea: and I know you Fraze: You're the smartest person I know Fraze: Not just smart for a girl Bea: You better not call me anything just for a girl Fraze: I just said I ain't that stupid Bea: Clever boy Fraze: 😏 Bea: [let them be there now] Fraze: [thank god how much more can they handle] Bea: [whaddya reckon Joe, stay or go?] Fraze: [if I was him I wouldn't wanna go, no shade boy] Fraze: If there's any shit from my Ma about where we're going or been, shut up & let me take it, yeah? Bea: Alright Bea: but I'll spare some time for thinking up a decent excuse if I can Fraze: Not loads though Fraze: Just 'cause we ain't on borrowed don't mean I don't want it all still Bea: You know I need all your time too Fraze: I know what you need Fraze: Come on Bea: [run off into the sunset] Fraze: [god bless] Fraze: [When you're trusted to go to the arcade because you've been looking after Rocky loads this hol & doing your sneaky shit very much on the low + Joe the shameless fave and responsible golden boy is going] Bea: [get on it with all those fun games] Fraze: [when you competitive af] Bea: [but it's fun 'cos the prizes are crap and the couple who win together] Fraze: [Gotta also win her something like my boo did for me though even if its not as cute as Sunshine] Bea: [big flex] Fraze: [Joe can win something for his girlfriend too, god bless] Bea: [and be having not a totally shit time for once] Fraze: [Lowkey having a good time with your bro cos you can be competitive and take the piss and pretend like you don't like him so no pressure] Bea: [when you're happy 'bout that on the low 'cos not about the awkwardness but not your place to be trying to #fixit, let them be playing some game so you can wander off] Fraze: [killing some zombies with your brother like your my brother & dad] Bea: [enter local fuckboys] Fraze: [When you must be having a good time cos you ain't noticed your bae is gone & you normally would] Bea: [just doing that thing of humouring but not encouraging you know the drill Fraze: [When you finally realise the bae ain't about so you check in #boyfriend] Fraze: Where are you? Bea: outside, having a smoke Fraze: Cheers for the invite, like Bea: You were having fun 🔫 Bea: you could come now though Fraze: I've won now so be right there Bea: Um can you mean now as in right now, not to be dramatic Fraze: What's going on? Bea: [doesn't reply 'cos drama] Fraze: Bea Fraze: [Comes to find her because when does she not talk to him ever] Bea: [These lads being aggro 'cos she's smacked the letchy one] Fraze: [When he's just gonna fight them all on his own cos that bitch like no get Joe to help you boy] Bea: [let's assume he'll hear 'cos squad] Fraze: [just two bros beating up dickheads together like old times, love it] Bea: [ha gotem] Fraze: [this squad are taking your shit squads tickets & money cos deserved thank you] Bea: [get sweets and toys for the kids with those tix] Fraze: [Especially Rocky cos fave] Bea: [no sweets for you baby boy] Fraze: [toy that you'll probably try and swallow though] Fraze: Talk to me Bea: I'm good Fraze: You ain't allowed to lie to me, remember Fraze: So you better not be Bea: Or what? Bea: I'm not not good Fraze: You wanna test that now, yeah? One fight not enough for you Bea: You'll have to go a harder if you want a smack Fraze: You got another one in you? Bea: You taking the piss? Bea: there was loads of them Fraze: Nah, I ain't Fraze: I just reckon if you can swing for me then you're alright Bea: I'm not hurt Fraze: Good Fraze: Don't be pissed off at me for checking Bea: I ain't Bea: but you don't need to Fraze: I know but I wanna Bea: Alright Fraze: You don't need me to look after you but that don't mean I won't, like Fraze: I'm never gonna let anyone hurt you Bea: I said thanks to you both, like Bea: and meant it Fraze: Yeah, I heard it Bea: well then Fraze: Nah, fuck that then Bea: don't make a fuss Bea: I ain't Fraze: Don't tell me what to do Bea: for God's sake Bea: do what you want but why bother Fraze: 'Cause you think you can pat me on the head and then put me back in my fucking box Fraze: Like we ain't so far fucking past that Bea: That ain't what I'm doing Bea: Idk what you want me to say Bea: boys are dicks, end of Fraze: One thing that ain't bullshit maybe Fraze: Jesus Bea: Fuck's sake, not right now Bea: not with Joe Fraze: [Sends him off with the money to get them something to drink a la my dream and gives her a look like well that's that solved] Bea: Such a smartass Fraze: So stop treating me like I'm my thick cunt of a brother Bea: [just makes a noise like 'rude!'] Fraze: [gives her a look like come on cos he knows she ain't chill about any of this] Bea: [shrugs, 'they were just dickheads, you sorted it'] Fraze: [shrugs back 'I don't give a shit about them'] Bea: ['me either'] Fraze: ['I ain't asking about them either, don't act like you don't know that'] Bea: [blood from a stone, soz boy, 'Come on, this is boring'] Fraze: [I hope you've got a sleeve he can pull on because that's the mood here so he can kiss her because unspoken things might work why not] Bea: [when you're going too hard 'cos your mood] Fraze: [when you're letting it happen cos you just wanna make her feel better] Bea: [when you gotta stop yourself from being that person but then you can't even look at him just like 'sorry'] Fraze: [when you pulling the bae closer to you if possible & you do the chin lift thing so she has to look at you because eye contact forever 'Don't. Fuck sorry.'] Bea: [shakes head and pulls away, 'no, it's fucked up.'] Fraze: [Shakes his own head. 'Like I ain't never done a fucked up thing.' Looks at her intensely 'Fuck normal, remember?'] Bea: ['Not to me, anyway, it ain't a free pass'] Fraze: ['I ain't hurt'] Bea: [Gives him a look 'cos using her words against her] Fraze: [Says her name softly and with feeling because I refuse to let you say ILY rn boy I don't care if you wanna] Bea: [Actually looks at him for a hot sec] Fraze: ['What do you want?' Doesn't need to elaborate because he knows she knows whatever it is he'll make it happen so just a look] Bea: [sitting and thinking in silence for a bit 'cos good question] Fraze: [🚬 while he sits and waits but passing it back and forth between them cos #mood] Bea: ['I just wanna- I don't know, for it to not even be a big deal, seriously, that's all I want'] Fraze: ['Yeah but it's always gonna be a big deal to me. Like, if someone even looked at you wrong that's gonna piss me off. Not 'cause you can't handle it or any of that bullshit but 'cause you're mine. End of.'] Bea: [grabs his hand 'but you got to fix it, you got to deal with it, like'] Fraze: ['I told you, they don't fucking matter. You do. And I can't do shit to make this really go away, can I?'] Bea: [laughs like yeah that's what I've been avoiding saying here] Fraze: [Pulls her up. 'Fuck this. Come on.' Cos taking her somewhere else to do something else that isn't this] Bea: ['What?'] Fraze: [Some handholding for Winnie & because it's allowed at a time like this] Bea: ['Just forget about it, okay?' pushing her forehead to his] Fraze: [Smiles at her genuinely. 'That's the plan, babe' & off they go again cos he on a mission] Bea: ['We don't wanna wait for the drink then? And Joe, like...'] Fraze: [Gives her a look like he'll come to us cos cocky forever] Bea: [shrugs and goes with it 'cos why not] Fraze: [Takes her to the beach where it's late enough by now there aren't loads of peeps about considering it ain't peak summer. Chucks a bucket & spade at her that some kid has left behind and lies down. 'Go on, bury me then'] Bea: [laughs 'have you actually lost it or? kneels down beside him] Fraze: [It's that or tunneling out but that ain't gonna shut me up much, like & I've seen enough prison shit to know it ain't foolproof enough for us either' Shrugs and closes his eyes] Bea: ['Not got any insurance I can cash in on, have ya?' genuinely smiling and when he opens his eyes again she'd be leaning over him 'such a dork' and a real kiss] Fraze: ['No point, invincible basically. Do your worst. His eyes widen (in that second before you have to close them again so you don't look like a mental person kissing with your eyes open) because not expecting that and lowkey undone by the realness always a little bit] Bea: [we know what 'bouta ensue] Fraze: [Don't hurry back Joe but do come back eventually cos I care about you babe] Bea: [Oh Joe, this is the worst holiday lmao] Fraze: [I hope he has got a girlfriend and Bea weren't wrong cos needs some happiness in his life damn] Bea: [in my head she probably just fancies him but nothing is being done about it lol] Fraze: [I love my future junkie son] Bea: [he's less of a relationship boy, like he'd have loads of little ones 'cos he'd start and then be distant and not what normal girls want in a boyf 'cos soz not here for your drama he's got more on his mind lol] Fraze: [what a mood, meanwhile I hope you two are gonna wait for him and not fuck off again cos rude] Bea: [when it's gon be obvious like how you sorting yourself out here lads] Fraze: [god bless, gonna have to get yourself to that shower block speedy before he returns] Bea: [look of love forever 'cos ily curse] Fraze: [likewise] Bea: [when you're like 'we should move' but don't 'cos #mood] Fraze: [when you only move closer to her despite knowing damn well that ain't what she meant] Bea: [when you ain't complaining, 'I miss not being able to touch you when other people are around'] Fraze: ['You can do whatever you want. We can.'] Bea: ['In theory'] Fraze: ['In reality, as long as you don't give a fuck about anything except what you want.'] Bea: ['That's the problem, ain't it. We already said, I can't get your parents in shit so...just how it's gotta be'] Fraze: ['And I already said, fuck them. I can always repeat it if it weren't clear enough though, like.'] Bea: [Just looking at him like, we know it ain't that simple, 'how it is is good though- isn't it?'] Fraze: [Gives her a look back like they can't stop us cos true and he knows it. But then gives a softer look & reassuring touch because obvs. 'Course. I told you, I wouldn't change any of it up to now. But that don't mean we can't have more.'] Bea: [big sigh but a weary smile 'cos still happy it's just a lot 'yeah'] Fraze: ['I love you, I wanna be able to do that properly, you know. So I will. I'll figure it out.'] Bea: [just quiet for ages 'cos he said it but you don't know if you should make it a Thing TM so but then you hit him with a 'We will' and the most MOST kiss] Fraze: [let's just let them have a make out moment on this empty beach thank you] Bea: [when you in love aw] Fraze: [don't worry babies you're gonna have it all] Bea: [after a while, have Joe show] Fraze: [thirdwheeling harder than ever but at least he has booze] Bea: [partayyy] Fraze: [watch the sunset kids live your best life] Bea: [but you should probably be back home soon lmao you children Fraze: [you know they gonna be late back and Tess will be like 😒] Bea: [ignoring all those mum texts 'til she threaten on rolling up] Fraze: [I'm cackling, don't test her kids she 100% would] Bea: [when you're gonna sneak away still though when they asleep heheh] Fraze: [god bless all the empty caravans because you're lowkey the only tourists] Bea: [gonna text as much hold up lol] Bea: tonight Bea: you wanna go back out when they're asleep Fraze: Yeah Fraze: Joe might not stay up half the fucking night if we let him neck most of this Bea: He won't dob us in anyway Bea: not saying tell him where we're going but you know Bea: long as they're asleep, that's the main thing Bea: and we don't fall asleep in some random caravan, like 😂 Fraze: You over your crush on him now then, yeah? Fraze: We'll set an alarm before we fall asleep, not that fucking stupid, like Bea: You're full of shit Bea: I never had a crush on him, please Fraze: You better not have Bea: I don't do crushes Fraze: Alright Bea: You don't believe me? Fraze: If I didn't, I'd say you were full of shit too Bea: I don't, this isn't an American teen drama Bea: can see when someone's good looking or not but not gonna write their name on my notebook or something Fraze: 😂 Bea: What Bea: why you laughing at me Fraze: Just thinking I'd be fucked if that's what I bought you all them pens and shit for Bea: Unlucky Bea: don't know what to tell you Bea: still draw you if you like, that's something Fraze: Yeah, it'll be something with with me as your model Bea: Could be Bea: got the height for it Fraze: Keep it in mind as far as future careers go then Bea: Can't be bad Fraze: You're fucked unless you're gonna grow like a foot in the next couple of years Bea: Yeah, thanks for that Bea: twat 😂 Fraze: I don't want all them cunts looking at you on a fucking giant advert by the side of the road anyway Bea: but I've just got to deal, have I? Bea: 🙄 Bea: they're less fussy about girl models height anyway, depending Bea: loads of them are barely over 5'5 Fraze: Fair, if you're hot you're hot Fraze: Not gonna get a fucking tape measure out if you've got any sense Fraze: Not for girls anyway Bea: Less about hot more about clothes horse Bea: no offense Fraze: Depends what kind of model you are Bea: You gonna get your kit off, are you Fraze: Could do Bea: 😑 Fraze: Cheers for the vote of confidence, babe Fraze: Good job I don't need it Bea: You said I couldn't Bea: not gonna stroke your ego over it Fraze: I said I didn't want you to Fraze: I ain't telling you what you can & can't do other than giving my brother the fucking eye Bea: Whatever Bea: I don't want to be a stupid model Fraze: Me either Fraze: Just keeping my options open Bea: Good for you Bea: smart Fraze: Island ain't gonna buy itself, like Bea: You know Fraze: Yeah Bea: [silent drankin] Fraze: [what a mood] Bea: swear whoever Joe got to buy this pocketed some of that money Fraze: Should've gone ourselves Bea: Yeah Bea: no getting pissed tonight Fraze: Do you wanna? Bea: Don't matter Bea: I'm good Fraze: If it didn't matter I wouldn't have asked Bea: Well Bea: either way we ain't Bea: not like I need to Fraze: We could Fraze: Ain't like I've never stole shit before Bea: I know Bea: I've been there plenty of times too Bea: I don't wanna though Bea: was just saying Fraze: & I'm just saying I ain't lost my touch Fraze: In case you forgot Bea: Alright Bea: plenty other ways to prove that Fraze: If I had anything to prove, yeah there are Bea: You're welcome Fraze: Am I? Bea: Yeah Fraze: Alright Fraze: Cheers Bea: 👌 Fraze: [drinking while you give a 'good talk' kinda look lol] Bea: [being like Imma go get ready for bed and leaving the bros] Fraze: [when you can't follow her even if you wanna] Bea: wake me up when you're in or they're sleeping, whichevers first Fraze: You'll hear me Fraze: Don't have to sneak in, only out Bea: Maybe don't wake the baby though 😏 Fraze: I'll put him back to sleep in a sec if I do Fraze: Had loads of practice now Bea: You're a pro now yeah Fraze: It ain't hard, you said it yourself first time we babysat him Bea: Still Bea: don't get too cocky or you'll be on babysitter duties for life Fraze: We've done such a decent job I reckon that's a danger already Bea: It's alright, only need to drop him on his head once and we're in the clear again Fraze: 😂 Bea: Probably be more annoying when he's older if we actually though so you know Bea: just pretend Fraze: It don't matter we'll be long moved out by then & too drunk at every family gathering to give a shit Bea: True Bea: Poor boy is gonna be smothered Fraze: Sounds like a murder plot in the making Fraze: Did you want me to be on board? Bea: 😂 Bea: Not what I meant Bea: we'll be gone, remember Bea: just him and your 'rents Fraze: Assuming none of the others aren't still about freeloading Bea: Give them the benefit of the doubt Fraze: Whatever Bea: Saying I will Bea: not gonna be that much of a bitch and predict their futures for 'em quite yet Fraze: Give it a few more years before you commit to it Fraze: I know how much you hate being wrong Bea: How'd you know that Bea: Never am, like Fraze: Other than every time you've called me an idiot, like Fraze: 'Course Bea: I only ever said it as an observation Bea: not fact Fraze: An observation that's wrong Fraze: 'Cause I never am Bea: Personal opinion, McKenna Fraze: You're last naming me now, yeah? Fraze: My personal opinion is you're full of shit, babe Bea: No one likes a smartarse, babe Fraze: Wrong again Fraze: I'm well popular Bea: Egotistical bastards too Fraze: You including yourself in that? Bea: Was saying no one likes those either Bea: but if the shoes fits, I guess Fraze: When did you get so concerned about what everyone else likes? Fraze: Christ knows I couldn't give less of a fuck Bea: You're the one that's so popular Fraze: What's your point? Bea: You clearly care a bit Fraze: Nah Fraze: Just that impressive Fraze: I've told you that before Bea: God Bea: you're so irritating Fraze: Go to bed then Fraze: That's what you fucked off to do Bea: I am Fraze: Really slowly Bea: I have a routine Fraze: You'd probably get it done sooner if you shut up Bea: fuck off Bea: no one's making you reply Fraze: Just an observation, babe Fraze: & why wouldn't I reply? I'm not the one who left Fraze: Gutted if you expected me to use this time for brotherly bonding or some shit Bea: what are you even doing then Bea: sat in silence? Fraze: Like that's unheard of in this family all of a sudden Bea: You've both had a drink you should at least be able to do smalltalk no Fraze: What am I gonna waste my time chatting shit to him for? You've got that covered Bea: I'm going to bed, remember Bea: that's the whole point Fraze: You're still here though Fraze: That's my point Fraze: Why did you even go? Bea: 'Cos you were playing a game together before all that stuff happened Bea: so you're still capable Bea: that's why Fraze: Fuck off Bea: What Fraze: I don't need you playing games with me to bring about some fucking reunion Bea: Don't make it sound malicious when I'm just trying to fix what I started Bea: we could've still been there if it weren't for that nonsense Fraze: & I really don't need you to fucking fix me Fraze: Jesus Bea: Where Bea: where did I say that Bea: you aren't listening Fraze: Say something worth listening to instead of trying to act like a few hours of him tagging along & me being in a decent enough mood not to kick the shit out of him means any more than that Bea: Fine Bea: Whatever makes you happy Fraze: Don't Bea: Sure Bea: I'll go Bea: Enjoy your silence Fraze: Yeah 'cause I clearly will now Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: This ain't about me & you as good as admitted it just then Bea: I know it isn't Fraze: Don't fucking use me to try and make yourself feel better for shit that wasn't even your fault in the first place Bea: All I'm saying is don't let it ruin a perfectly good evening by making everything so serious Fraze: Fuck that Bea: Whatever Fraze: Any more bullshit you wanna throw at me to see if it sticks or can I go? Bea: Go Bea: I'm over this conversation Fraze: At least we feel the same way about something Bea: Thank god yeah Fraze: Never been more relieved, like Fraze: Goodnight Bea: Night, Fraze Fraze: Joe's heading back, if he don't make it, send out a search party or whatever Bea: None of us are that wasted sadly Bea: but will do Bea: what are you doing Fraze: Like he needs an excuse to not be paying attention to where the fuck he is or when Fraze: Christ knows but I know what I ain't & that's following him Bea: True but I figure warm bed tops being vague right now Bea: was freezing Fraze: Maybe Fraze: We'll see if he shows up in a sec or nah Fraze: You will anyway Bea: I'm not going to stand on the porch like your mother, sorry Fraze: I bet he's proper devvo on that Fraze: I meant you'd hear him Fraze: Or my ma kicking off about how late she reckons it is at least Bea: Obviously Bea: but our love is strictly forbidden now so he'll have to deal Fraze: Didn't stop me or you Fraze: He could grow a pair after winning that fight earlier Bea: Fingers crossed, even more obviously Bea: he's here anyway Fraze: Good for him Fraze: You can sleep soundly now knowing it too Bea: You're the one making me check in with you Bea: but sure Fraze: 'Cause I don't want the blame if he didn't show when he was meant to Bea: Alright Bea: bullshit but fine Fraze: Not my bullshit Fraze: Just the way my parents minds work Bea: Maybe Bea: but if you were really worried wouldn't you be here yourself Fraze: It's 'cause I ain't it'd be my fault 'cause I'm gone & so he's then they'd reckon we're together even though we ain't gone off together anywhere in years Fraze: But he's back so I don't have to give a fuck Bea: Exactly, so you're still gonna get in trouble for being late Fraze: When have I ever been home on time Fraze: They never do fuck all about it Bea: Okay then Bea: your night's your own Bea: good luck finding something entertaining Fraze: Cheers Bea: 👍 Fraze: You can go you don't have to sit there emoji-iing at me Bea: I'm saying night it's not a big deal is it Fraze: It's been said Fraze: So it's a waste of time Fraze: Why would you want that? Bea: You think I fall asleep soon as I hit the pillow? Fraze: Clearly not part of your routine Fraze: I ain't that stupid however much you wanna treat me like it Bea: You're being it right now Fraze: Stupid would be pretending I can be alone in a caravan full of fucking people Fraze: So nah, I ain't Bea: Stop talking then, if you really want to be alone so bad Fraze: Stop talking if you're not gonna say what you really wanna say Bea: and what do I really wanna say then Fraze: If I knew that I wouldn't give a fuck if you said it or not, would I? Bea: Suppose not Fraze: But there's something or you'd have put your phone down & left it there by now Fraze: I know when you're done with a conversation, like earlier & when you ain't, like now Bea: I've already asked multiple times Bea: but you don't have an answer so what else am I meant to do but wait Fraze: That's bullshit Fraze: We both know I'm the kind of cunt who has an answer for everything Bea: Not a good one, then Fraze: Since when do they have to be good Bea: since you want me to leave Fraze: I don't Bea: You keep telling me to so Fraze: That's what you want Fraze: Your fucking bright idea to salvage my night or whatever Bea: Well that got fucked however long ago now didn't it Fraze: Yeah Bea: Just come back for fuck's sake Fraze: Alright Bea: I'll meet you Bea: let's just go now Fraze: You know how much shit we could get in for that, yeah? Bea: Yeah Fraze: We can just stick to the original plan, like Fraze: They'll have to go to sleep once my ma's had a go at me Bea: Sure Fraze: Or you could wait for me on the porch, that did sound decent Bea: 😂 Bea: Better than your actual mum, yeah Bea: not much of a compliment is it Fraze: You can take it as one Fraze: Come on Fraze: You know I really wanna see you Bea: You do? Fraze: 'Course Bea: Are you still mad Fraze: You reckon I can stay mad at you? Bea: You can try Fraze: Not gonna for that bullshit Bea: Don't Bea: we'll have a better time together Fraze: Yeah Bea: if we can't go now Bea: at least come to my room just for a second Fraze: Nothing we can't do, babe Fraze: I know you ain't forgot Bea: then do Bea: I wanna see you Fraze: Are you still mad at me? Bea: Only for not being here already Fraze: Timed getting here well then Fraze: Come 🚬 before I have to go in Bea: I don't wanna Bea: [when you mean smoke rn so you obvs come out anyway] Fraze: [When you obviously weren't arsed either because you aren't smoking when she comes out it was just a shameless excuse cos you've had like no time alone today and you know you ain't gonna get long now but you gotta take what you can get before you can sneak off] Bea: [Have at it kiddos] Fraze: [When you just know he's gonna say ILY again because it's out there now RIP] Bea: [dies] Fraze: [When you're having the most intense make out ever like your fam isn't literally right there basically] Bea: [seriously you better hope they ain't curtain twitching bois] Fraze: [not a convo you wanna have rn or ever if you could help it] Bea: [gather your courage to go get shouted at by your mum lol] Fraze: [when you keep having really good 'last' kisses that then aren't] Bea: [no chill ever how have you not been caught frankly] Fraze: [literally only cos Rocky is a baby & keeping everyone busy] Bea: [real MVP wutwut] Fraze: [When you know he ain't gonna listen to a damn word Tess said cos too distracted soz babe] Bea: [when does he ever, or like any of these kids #mumlife] Fraze: [At least he wouldn't be talking back and kicking off like he mostly does you can have that one for free] Bea: [that's your first clue gurl] Fraze: [she'd 100000% think he had a girlfriend just not Bea obvs] Bea: [hawkward] Fraze: [An appropriate amount of time passes for a Tess Vickers Lecture TM] Bea: How was it Fraze: Standard Bea: You don't need comforting then? Shame 😏 Fraze: For the fact this holiday ain't close to over yet, I do though Bea: Are you telling me you'd rather be at School? Bea: Have to get that in writing or the teachers will never believe it Fraze: I'd rather be bunking off with you but if you wanna spread that rumour the teachers'll be thrilled, like Bea: 😂 Bea: I'd rather that too Fraze: Good Fraze: I miss you Bea: I miss you more Fraze: Count to a 100 and let's fucking go then Bea: 75 Bea: final offer Fraze: 95 & we don't come back til morning Bea: Ugh Bea: okay Bea: but don't get comfortable with me giving in to you Fraze: It's more fun when you try really hard not to Bea: Shut up Bea: if I have to count to 95, I need to focus here Fraze: Not like I said do it backwards Bea: can up it if you keep taking the piss boy Fraze: No you can't Fraze: You don't wanna wait any longer than I do Bea: I don't Bea: but you know I will Fraze: Yeah but don't Bea: Then be nice to me Fraze: Keep counting Fraze: You know I will Bea: How nice Fraze: How nice do you want? Bea: well, don't be boring, like Fraze: Wrong brother there, babe Bea: Don't start on that Bea: be telling me I'm fantasizing next 🙄 Fraze: I'm just saying, I couldn't be boring if both our lives depended on it Fraze: Well, maybe if yours did Fraze: For a sec, to save you, like Bea: Very noble Bea: must be love Fraze: Yeah Bea: Okay Bea: that's 95 Fraze: Come on then

[punkscowardschampions]

Drew & Carly

Soz Ro

Drew: Hey baby girl Drew: I got extras Drew: Wanna party? Carly: yea Carly: idea hit that you forgot me Drew: How could I? Drew: You know you unforgettable, even when we gettin' mad faded Carly: you're choice & i have a present for you too Drew: yea??? Drew: 🤤 Drew: i get a clue Carly: prepped a sandwich for you Carly: Thea's here Drew: is it Drew: 😍 Drew: this is why u gotta lemme wifey u up Carly: sweet talker Carly: tried to get Becki but she left me on read Drew: awh baby 😂 you got pied Drew: like she don't know u the baddest or somethin Carly: her parents might be back Carly: what day is it? Carly: her loss if she can only handle one daddy at a time Drew: Sunday ✝🙌 Drew: So you think YOU ready? 🤔 Big talk for a lil girl Drew: Best be ready to back that up Carly: aw funday Carly: she really missing Carly: you don't scare me, Goldie Drew: day of rest Drew: she be sleeping on us 💤 Drew: Not trying to Drew: I'm a big ole softie ain't I 😘 Carly: you best not be Carly: we're waiting Drew: You wanna check? Drew: Thirsty ass Carly: yea Carly: I know what I want & what Drew: respect that Drew: better than most girls i know Drew: but you ain't the only one in this town who wants sadly so you gonna have to wait a while longer Drew: don't let her go cold Carly: she don't need me she's heard all about you Carly: one name drop all it took Carly: couple of pics Drew: send me one? Carly: [Sends a variety of pics. Use your imagination but don't because no] Drew: damn Drew: she's hot Carly: I knew you'd like her Carly: you have a type Drew: what? nah i don't 😂 Carly: yea Carly: don't cry i do too Drew: lies, unless having tits and ass counts then, i'll agree with you 👌 no homo Drew: you gonna go get a boyfriend and not wanna play with me no more? Carly: why would i wanna do that Drew: you tell me Carly: you getting bored of me Drew: are you crazy? Drew: 'course not Drew: just wondering where my competition at Carly: yea i am Carly: you'll wife up some nice girl & leave me high & dry Carly: i'll have to date your boys to make you crazy too & it'll be a whole thing Drew: eurgh don't start up on that business 😩 Drew: not my style Drew: or yours Drew: we just wanna have fun yeah? Carly: yea Carly: im so bored Carly: how much longer? Drew: 2 more drops Drew: i was about to bounce when they gave me more Drew: work never done in this game Carly: thea's starving & im ordering in, what do you wanna eat besides all this cake Carly: on me Carly: we got left the cards Drew: 😘 you're the best Drew: get chinese please you know what i like Drew: d'ya wanna bunk tomorrow Drew: make it worth your while if you let me stay Carly: be here when you are if they do their deliveries fast as you Carly: writing my sicknote Carly: you want one? Drew: 😇 Drew: Never get one off Mrs C Drew: doing my head in Drew: via Caleb, I'm actually avoiding her, like Carly: stay here if you want Carly: dunno how you stick it there Drew: Me either Drew: along with the fucking baby Drew: Over it Drew: Your parents are cool, yeah? Carly: they know i don't need babysitting Carly: blows my mind you live in a nursery Carly: don't fit you Drew: yeah well, not my first choice Drew: and it weren't me who knocked her up, if that weren't obvious Drew: get my own place soon Drew: then i can really live, do what i wanna do Carly: you can do what you want here Carly: there's not much room for parties but we can still have fun Drew: hmm Drew: you not gonna get jealous and tell me when and where i can go, and with who? Carly: not my style Drew: yeah you aren't like the rest Drew: at least you haven't shown it yet so 🤔 Drew: lets chill, why not Carly: i can borrow a car if you wanna bring shit Drew: why you so good to me? Drew: but nah, i don't want my sister to think i'm leaving leaving Drew: got all i need on my back Carly: you're good to me Carly: i know how i've got it Carly: didn't brag to thea just for the fun Drew: am i though? Drew: well whatever Drew: imma treat you so right tonight swear down Carly: you best do Carly: and tomorrow Drew: and the day after that and the day after that 😘 Drew: on my life baby Drew: long as i'm there, i'll be good Carly: me too Carly: can't speak for thea until i try her out Carly: keen yea but killing it idk Drew: 😂 Drew: my girl can always teach her Drew: that or i give her what she came for then you can make it up to me later Carly: he's got brains too 😍 Drew: 😏 lmao not as thick shit as everyone reckons Drew: can think what they like, helps in what i do to be underestimated and overlooked tbf Carly: nobody knows shit Carly: i'm not walking these streets being mistaken for gina valentina Drew: real talk Drew: you just as fire tho 🤤 Carly: there he goes again being sweet Carly: beat up that kid Mickey Simmons for me he's saying im a virgin Drew: he'd know 😂 prick Drew: i will Drew: anyone who messes with you just tell me Carly: i will Carly: include teachers? Drew: might not be able to batter them for you but Drew: who's giving you shit? Carly: mr sullivan wants to get my parents in Carly: he's no life but they have Drew: 😫 he's such a wasteman Drew: cannot wait to leave Drew: i wanna drop out, what's the point me being there Drew: not learning anything of use to me and my life Carly: me too Carly: gonna do it Carly: what my parents gonna do give me less money? they don't cover my bills as is Drew: gotta get on your big girl grind Drew: don't owe nobody nothing Drew: 'cept me 😋 Carly: yea Carly: get me working with you Carly: you know im good Drew: I know you good at getting high 😂 idk about the rest Drew: ain't up to me yet anyway Drew: but im gonna change that too Carly: you bring me the choicest i can't help that Carly: good taste all around Carly: 😍 Drew: yeah it is good shit Drew: not gonna mug you off with the watered-down offcuts, am I? Carly: sweet boy Drew: shh don't tell nobody Carly: i won't Drew: good 'cos i'd get kneecapped if they found out i was giving away freebies 😂 Drew: can only afford to subsidize one party pal Carly: i'll show you how grateful i am soon Drew: 😍 Drew: soz this is taking longer than expected Drew: this punter is pissing about but its a banker's party so they'll spend thousands when they finally fucking sort their shit Drew: 😡 Carly: we're having fun here Carly: [sends pics] Drew: why you gotta tease Drew: 😫 Drew: you're bad Carly: its whats waiting at home sweet home no tease Drew: [10 minutes ish later] Drew: and they paid! Drew: Gotta get back, don't wait for me, like 🤤 Drew: i'm okay with walking in on a scene Carly: just don't slip in her 💦im not gonna go a&e Drew: 😂 grimy Drew: and rude! thought you was looking after me?! you better kiss and make it better then 😘 Carly: keep that gorg hair on Carly: you know i will Drew: I'll do a special knock Drew: don't want you giving the delivery boy MY welcome back 😂 Carly: no wasting the good shit on him Carly: [sends more pics] Drew: you gotta stop Drew: killing me baby Carly: k i'll behave Carly: for now Drew: Gimme five, think you can last that long? 😉 Drew: then you can be as nasty as you want Carly: if it is 5 Carly: dont tease me boy Drew: you DO deserve it Drew: but I'm tired of waiting too Drew: I want you bad Carly: im ready to show you ive missed you Carly: itll be worth every min Drew: [6 minutes later] Drew: Knock Knock Carly: youre late Carly: whats the password Drew: umm Drew: i got your drugs? Carly: correct

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Janis

Little Twin Times

Grace: It's not too late to change your mind! Get dad to bring you xxx Grace: 👍💜💭 Janis: Nah, you're all good, I'm going out to play footie with lads from down the road after tea Janis: You having fun? Grace: 😮😈 WHICH LADS??! Grace: of course! it's the best! 🙌 Name a film and we've got it ready to watch Grace: her mum ordered from the posh bakery too Grace: They've got each of our names iced on so you've gotta come Janis: You know, they live in the farmhouse one along if you keep going down the lane, renovated all fancy, like but they're actually alright Janis: shit at football though 😉 Janis: s'alright, you eat mine Janis: think they use too much cream, s'not as good as Da's stuff Janis: got any horrors? Grace: EW JANIS THOSE BOYS ARE GROSS DON'T PLAY WITH THEM Grace: they always shout stuff at us they think they're so 💪😎 Grace: You always say that! You'd eat custard tarts every day and never try anything new ever! Grace: 🙄 Grace: OBVIOUSLY WE'RE NOT AMATEURS Grace: the cinema room has everything it's like being out at the poshest one you can imagine 😍 Janis: Only 'cos you act like such a drip whenever you see a boy Janis: If you shouted back instead of going all giggly and red maybe they'd not take the piss, ey? 🙄 Janis: I would if I was faced with all that pastry and cream...tastes like fusty old tissue paper 🤢 Janis: At least that'll be a laugh then Janis: Her house smells like an old lady's handbag though 😂 Grace: OMG I DO NOT! Grace: what would you know anyway you're too busy trying to BE like a gross boy to get a boyfriend Grace: such a 👽 weirdo for a sister, how and why Grace: AGAIN DUH! It is such a laugh and you're missing it Grace: for football 🙄 Grace: RUDE JAN-JAN IT DOES NOT Grace: you're just jealous of how cool her house is Janis: Yes you do, you all just nudge each other and laugh like a bunch of loonies Janis: LOL and what would you do with a boyfriend, gracie? you can't even talk to one nevermind anything else Janis: for you, maybe, i'm good where i am tah 👌 Janis: why would i be jealous of having a too large tv in a too small room and calling it a cinema Janis: they ain't even got that much money, we've probably got more, they're just snobby twats about it Janis: how cool, so cool, woooow Grace: DO NOT Grace: I can't believe you've already forgotten that Jake and two of his friends are all fighting over who gets to be my boyfriend rn so Grace: I'm gonna be a great girlfriend like in all the films excuse you Grace: ugh you're the snobby one thinking we're richer than everyone and talking about how much money everyone's got all the time Grace: what am I gonna do with you? 🙄 Janis: how buzzin you must be Janis: doesn't mean you'll know what to do Janis: s'the stuff that happens after the happily ever after you need to know, graciekins Janis: only cos she's a show-off when she's got no right to Janis: always bragging that one Janis: you just don't like it 'cos you're up her hole, like 😂 Grace: I will too! I've practiced kissing loads Grace: Just because you don't have a clue don't tell me I don't Grace: You're the showoff always trying to beat the boys ugh Grace: just brush your hair, put some gloss on and come over Grace: you'll see she is cool and you're just being salty as usual Janis: yeah, we've seen the gloss on the oranges, its manky Janis: at least eat them when you've frenched them Janis: there's no trying involved, i'm just better than all the boys 😏 Janis: no thanks, i've got plans, like i said Janis: if she's so cool why you ignoring her rn hmm Grace: YOU'RE MANKY I don't even use 🍊 thanks Grace: You think as much of yourself as the boys do it's cringey Grace: and im not even ignoring her she's setting the spa up Grace: nobody's allowed to see what's she's done until she's done it so you're wrong again there Janis: Well all the others have got fellas rn or experience under their belt so don't think they're still getting in 'practice' like its a shitty teen movie 😂 Busted Janis: soz, I'll develop an eating disorder and self-esteem issues asap Janis: oh wait, no, fuck that i'm great Janis: don't hate cos u ain't Janis: better get ur surprised face ready now, you're a shitty actress, like LiLo bad post-all the drugs Grace: It's likely you, J, you've gotten really embarrassing lately 😂 make sense why you don't wanna come out. gotta stay in with the fruit bowl Grace: Don't even joke Kirsty Dixon from number 22 had to go to the hospital loads in the summer it's so serious Grace: you're the hater on me and my friends, read the chat back if you don't believe Janis: Whatever you say, Graciepoo Janis: So? She's still a lame bitch Janis: or you gonna be her best friend now too? Janis: Last I remember, it was your pals calling her names Janis: but now she's in the hospital, you all wanna send her flowers Janis: just not chocolates, she'll be raging, like Grace: YOU'RE SO RUDE AND SOOO WRONG Grace: i know you're blinded by your jealousy but it's sad how much you have no idea what you're talking about Grace: cute but still cringey of course Janis: lol jealous of what? Grace: me having friends and you being the lone loser Janis: 😂 no Janis: firstly, your 'friends', you can keep 'em, there's a reason they were free to let you tag along and be their bitch Janis: secondly, i'm happy being alone, you're the one begging me to come hang, so nice one there 👍 Grace: I'M TRYING TO BE NICE Grace: won't next time, bitch Janis: please don't 😂 Grace: laugh it up all you want you were the one tagging along with us for ages Grace: you're not too good, you're too much of a freak now that's all Janis: yeah because wittle baby gracie doesn't want to do anything on her own Janis: don't cry about it now 😂 Grace: no i didnt want my sister to be an antisocial weirdo Grace: makes me look bad too Janis: Literally going out after tea, did you not hear? Janis: You wanna control WHO I'm friends with Janis: I've got friends, I don't want your hand-me-downs Grace: those creepy boys who want to look at you in your shorts aren't your friends saddo Janis: Your mind, Gracie 🙄 Honestly Janis: lads don't care about things like that, they wanna play footie Janis: and I have plenty of other people I hang with, not everyone wants to be in a sad lil gang Grace: now who's being a baby 😂 lads always think about stuff like that Grace: 🙄 you only think its a gang because you've made yourself unwanted Grace: whatever Jan-Jan i've got fun to have Grace: be boring Janis: They really don't, they think you're mental Janis: also a right slag 😂 Janis: sure you do 😏 laters! Grace: at least they think of me you're furniture Grace: I've got plenty of time and chances to change their mind but you're always gonna be blah Janis: lol yeah, so much chance, when i'm the one that gets to chat with them every day on the pitch and you just stand there staring and dribbling, not the ball, like 😂 Grace: 🙄 so jealous at least they know me and my friends are interested they all think you play for the other team Janis: so? I'm not the slag, I'm NOT interested Janis: how lame Grace: i'm no slag either Grace: you're just being too judgey and weird to know the difference Janis: whatever you say 👌 not me you've gotta convince otherwise, is it Grace: thank god for that 😂 Janis: eurgh don't be disgusting Janis: now who's the freak Grace: EWW THAT'S YOUR MIND I MEANT YOU'VE BEEN HIT IN THE HEAD BY THE BALL TOO MANY TIMES TO HAVE A CLUE ABOUT ANYTHING Grace: 👽 Grace: so gross Janis: no you didn't Janis: you're a shit liar Janis: why would you even say something like that Janis: you're messed up, grace Grace: WHY WOULD YOU WEIRDO Janis: I didn't Janis: you're always like this Janis: you're so fucking creepy Grace: I am not Grace: you're the gross creep Janis: get your own comebacks Janis: this is why i don't want to hang with you Janis: you're so boring Grace: get a life and stop being so disgusting all the time Grace: it's not cool its just gross Janis: I've got one Janis: and it isn't yours to ruin with your lameness Janis: ✌ Grace: I can't ruin what doesn't exist Grace: can't compete with how much of a loser you are anyway Janis: stop trying then Janis: weirdo 😂 Grace: 🙄 pathetic Janis: Oh, FYI, you forgot your jammies Janis: Rio's dropping them in so you better run unless you want her to come in and show you up for being a fake little bitch Grace: No I didn't we've all got matching here already Grace: I'm doing fine get over it Janis: That's literally the most hilarious thing I've ever heard Janis: Hope you're snapping pictures so we've all got something to laugh at Janis: 'Course you are, remember to let Jake know the # Janis: so sexy 😂 Grace: You're so obsessed it's embarrassing Grace: leave me alone Janis: I'll remember that when you're pestering me later Janis: Thanks for putting in writing Grace: Don't flatter yourself that I care Janis: So blatant Janis: N'awwwwh Grace: so annoying 🙄 Grace: go away Janis: go soak your manky feet Grace: go lose on the pitch you try hard bitch Janis: me? LOL ok Janis: trying so hard to be white and likable Janis: of which, you are neither Grace: Plenty of people like me as I am thanks Janis: oh, and who are you today? 😂 Janis: you haven't got a clue Janis: faker than your brands Grace: and you do? 😂 trying so hard to be a badass all of a sudden Grace: everyone's laughing at you Grace: not me Janis: By everyone you mean your sad little friends Janis: who no one but you gives a shit about Janis: be more mad 'cos I've ditched you FINALLY Janis: and I can actually enjoy myself Grace: go and do it then Grace: you'd have to stop talking rubbish at me first Janis: do you see me there rn? Janis: I already am Janis: laughing at you takes no time outta my day Grace: 😂 Grace: like i said, obsessed Grace: nothing better to do than be this lame Janis: like i said, bad actress Janis: i still, unfortunately, have to share a room with you, remember? i've heard you crying Janis: 😂 Grace: not everything is about you Grace: nothing is pretty much Janis: Why'd you go crying to mum about me then Janis: Now I've gotta be nicer to you Janis: What a drag Grace: you're a drag Grace: and a worse actress than you think i am Janis: I'm not pretending otherwise Janis: Its impossible to be nice to you, faking it or otherwise Grace: can't be harder than dealing with being around you Grace: too cringey for words Janis: Aww Jan-Jan please come Janis: PLEEEEEEEEEEASE ITS SO MUCH FUN Janis: now that's cringe Janis: 👍💜💭 Grace: not sorry for trying to get you to keep your invite Grace: you said you'd come and the girls were expecting you Grace: some of them wanted you to be there, because they feel sorry for you or whatever Janis: I don't recall that coming from my mouth Janis: more like YOU said I would Janis: boohoo Janis: the ONLY person who gives a shit is you Grace: blah Grace: bored of you thinking you know everything about me Grace: if you don't care then leave me alone like I already told you to do Janis: how could i not? EVERYONE knows you, right gracie? Janis: ur as transparent as a window and as shallow as a puddle Janis: doesn't take a genius babe 😂 Janis: i'm having fun, fuck off yourself if you can't deal Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: your definition of fun is so sad Grace: I'm off to have some for real Grace: bye Janis: enjoy your spa and matching jimmies Janis: you wild one 😂