#i can't stand the idea of leaving the house tomorrow of not being simultaneously with both parents 24/7

[anaalnathrakhs]

sooooo fun rn how i have nobody in my corner and zero shred of normality left anywhere in my life except complete escapism and neglect of any substantial action

[remusluvr]

say it ain't so | steve harrington

summary: Byers reader and Steve's last night together before leaving for California. content: female reader, angst, f oral, sex, no usage of y/n

The bedroom you have lived in for the last eighteen years is nearly completely vacant. All that's left in it is your bed and your duffle bag for the trip. It's weird seeing your once vibrant room so dull.

"I don't like it," you say, crossing your arms as you stand in the doorway whilst Steve is laid out on your bed.

"Neither do I, none of your personality is in here anymore," Steve sighs before proceeding to sit up. You shut the door behind you to go sit with him.

Tomorrow morning you'll be in a car driving to California with your family. There was no other choice for you since you still have your senior year to complete, which means you have to leave Steve behind for nearly an entire year.

Curling yourself into his lap, his arms wrap around you. You two have already discussed visiting each other many times, how he'll fly out to you and you'll fly back to Hawkins to see him. And you and he have already made spring break plans for you to come back to Hawkins for nearly two weeks.

It'll work, you'll work.

Your heart aches at the mere idea of not being able to see him every day, or hear his voice, or visit him at work, or have him climb through your bedroom window so you two can have sleepovers. Usually, Joyce was a lot more strict about sleepovers with significant others but with you leaving tomorrow, it's okay for tonight.

All you want is for this night to never end so you never have to leave Steve.

His hand rakes through your hair as you lay on him, "I'm going to miss you so fucking much."

You're already quite emotional that you have to leave everything and everyone you've ever known and Steve is simultaneously making it worse and better. He turns your face up to look at him and he coos down at you when he notices the tears welling in the corners of your eyes.

"It's just not fair, Stevie. Why can't I just live at your house for the rest of the school year? You can work at the video store, I'll go to school, and then at night, we sleep in the same bed like we live together."

"I know, baby. It's not fair at all. But you'll love California and imagine when I come to visit. We'll drive to the beach and spend the whole day there. Just you and me."

"That'll be nice," you hum. The image is crisp in your mind and you're giddy about it. Steve always knows exactly what you need to hear. "Ah, and then you'll come back to the house and I'll show you my new room. I'm not sure how I want to decorate yet."

"Send me pictures. I wanna see everything you get up to out there."

"That's such a good idea but I don't have a camera," you whine, flopping your head down onto his shoulder. He laughs and moves you off of him. "Where are you going?"

He reaches under the bed where he's hidden your going away present. A camera, a stack of envelopes, paper, pens, and stamps. The perfect concoction for when your relationship is about to go long distance.

"I got myself the same stuff. I expect at least one letter a week and at least five phone calls a day," he proclaims, watching as you smile down into the box. You laugh before setting the box to the side and climbing back to him. "Not an ideal situation by any means but everything will be fine. I promise."

You kiss him from your position in his lap. He kisses back with even more fervor. Your hands drape themselves around his neck as his grab at your hips. Any time you kiss Steve, it makes you dizzy but especially now. When he's putting everything unsaid into this kiss, how could it not?

It hits you as he flips you over onto your back that this is the last time you'll be able to do this in a while. Your lips stutter against his and he pulls back, thumb coming up to rub over them. There's no need to bring down his mood by addressing the elephant in the room. Tonight, you'll just enjoy the fact that he's here.

"So pretty," he whispers, leaning down again for a quick kiss before his thumbs slip just underneath the waistband of your shorts so he can slide them down. He moves slowly, deliberately, so he can savor this moment forever.

And once they're off and thrown to the side, he's laying on the bed between your legs. His lips are like fire on your legs as he kisses a path up to where you want him the most. He won't let you rush him though, making sure to take his sweet ol' time to nip at your inner thighs.

He's cruel with his teasing, fingers ghosting idly over your panties. Pulling down your underwear has his vision glazing over as he focuses in on the very thing he's been planning since the beginning.

"It'll be hard, very hard, to not be able to eat this pussy any time I want," he sighs, leaning in to lick at your clit. You're panting from all this teasing and his words don't help at all. Reaching down, your fingers tangle into his hair, pulling him closer to you. He grins into you, finally giving you what you want.

If there's anything Steve is the best at it is eating you out. He goes to town, sloppy and wet just to make you feel your very best. His lips suction around your clit before moving down to dip his tongue into you. It's world-changing. You don't know how you'll survive months without him.

Your thighs squeeze his head and he moans, letting the vibration move through you. It has your legs shaking as his hands grip at your thighs, keeping them spread enough for him to do his job properly. He loves it though, loves every little thing you do.

"Steve!" you whine, remembering that there are other people in this house but when you're getting the best head of your life, there's bound to be escaped noises. Steve is a cocky boy and you can feel his smile against you. It's boosting his ego knowing you're having this much trouble keeping it down.

You don't even warn him at all before cumming but he knows. Steve always knows. From the clench of your fingers in his hair, to your hips bucking into his face, and your sudden gasp of breath it's not hard to figure out. And he takes everything you give him, watching as you bite down on the pillow beside you so you don't wake the whole house. There's nothing more that he wants right now than to hear you, it's killing him.

He huffs as he settles in next to you, letting you cuddle into him so you can regain some of your breathing.

"Wonder if those cameras do video cause I don't how I'll last without hearing your pretty sounds for so long," he groans, tossing his head back against your headboard. You giggle as you look up at him. You press upward, sucking at his neck whilst you climb into his lap.

"We can always call each other," you whisper directly beside his ear, biting at it for extra measure, "Think I'm getting my own phone for my room."

"P-perfect, baby." He's whining quietly as you continue the assault on his neck, maybe getting too carried away but the look on his face is worth it. There is still a t-shirt and pajama pants on him and while the fabric may feel nice on your bare cunt, you need him out of them immediately.

"Take your shirt off for me, Stevie?" It's off before you can even make it down the bed at all to pull at his pants. He chastises you for teasing but it's no different than what he was doing. "Poor baby, you're so hard."

He's panting and it feels nice to be the one in control of him. Your fingers run over his tip, leaving him to chase your touch.

"Please, put me out of my misery, sweetheart." Smiling at him, you do. His inhale is sharp once he's inside you. You lean your forehead on his shoulder as you get used to him. "You're my lovely girl, god, I love you so much."

He grips onto your hips, helping you bounce on him. All of your confidence faded away as soon as you got what you wanted, turning to mush instead. You just need him to take care of you.

It doesn't take all that long before you're close again, sensitive from your first orgasm. And the way you're clenching around him has right there with you. His lips press messily onto yours as he tries to fight off his impending orgasm so this doesn't have to end. Your hands are glued to the sides of his face and he's never felt this loved.

"Mmpfh, g-gonna cum. W-where you want it?" he groans into your lips.

"Inside please," you whine, grinding down onto him to meet his thrusts, "Please, I want it. I'll get the m-morning-after pill."

It's too much for Steve and he cums with a loud moan that you have to muffle by clamping your hands over his mouth. You don't blame him because you have to bite down on his shoulder as you finish. And when you're both done, he's so drunk off of you that he whines when you get off his lap.

"I don't want you to leave me," Steve frowns as you lay on his chest.

"I know. But I'm not gone forever, you're not losing me." He's still upset and he will be for the next few months as he gets used to it. All he can think about is how much money he's about to make because that's all he'll be doing, work. But he'd be okay with being the poorest man in the world if it meant that you were with him.

"We should get some sleep since you have to be up early," he instructs, trying to be firm and ignore the ache in his chest. Once he's asleep, he'll have to wake up to you leaving him and he's not ready. He'll never be ready and you're not ready but it's what will happen.

"Probably. I love you."

"I love you more."

[hannie-dul-set]

when jaehyun said he was picking you up to go somewhere, you didn't exactly expect to be found in the middle of nowhere. trees were lining the field from a faraway distance and the tall grasses sunk from underneath you. the two of you were leaning against the side of his car on top of a hill on god knows where with no one else but the stars, the moon, and the both of you.

"drinking wine straight out of the bottle— aren't you a classy man?"

a laugh reverberated from jaehyun's throat and he looked at you under the solace of the inky night sky. "let me have my moments, miss y/n."

you sat beside him on the grassy clearing, lightly playing with one of his hands and you looked up to him, only to see downcast drenching his pretty features. letting go of his hand, you sighed and sat up straight, stirring confusion from the male.

"alright, mr. jung," you narrowed your eyes at him. "what's going on in your head? why are you being all sad?" 

he let out a huff of air, lips upturned into a semi-forced smile as he gently took your hand back into his, lacing his fingers into yours. "is it that obvious?"

"you're transparent, jaehyun."

sighing, he adjusted his position and took another swig at the hard drink. "you know how overboard some girls may get around me, right?"

"i've witnessed first hand during your party," you laugh, remembering how panicked he looked during that time. "it was a pitiful sight."

"it wasn't pitiful."

the words left like a soft whine from his lips and you continued to tease him, saying that he looked like a small mouse (ironic, considering his stature) being fought over by a group of wild cats, much to his displeasure.

"anyways," he coughed out, a light wash of pink dousing his cheeks, both from your previous joking and the slight chill of the night's wind. "there's this one girl named seonha— i've never told you about her— and, uh, i wouldn't say she's obsessed with me, but—"

"she's obsessed with you?"

you finished, quirking your brow at him and he hesitantly nodded. "yes, you can say that."

"hm," you hummed. "why, what'd she do?"

"a lot of things," he sighed. "her family is closely knitted with mine so i'd met here during one of their charity auctions. since then, she wouldn't stop following me around— in my office building, when i'm out with mark and johnny. hell, even when i'm out of the country."

jaehyun's exasperation ran through his voice as he continued to tell you about the girl.

"she'd even stir up dating rumors about us two which is messed up all on its own. you could argue that at least there's only one of them bothering me, but it's like selling off a few floods for one gigantic storm," the now empty wine bottle was long forgotten on the ground. jaehyun went on with his rant, raking his free hand into his hair. "johnny and mark had told me to file a restraining order, but that wouldn't do anything considering their family's influence, so i have no choice but to deal with her."

the light chirping of crickets amplified the depth of the evening. you guessed it was already around ten, maybe even later than that. it crossed your mind for a short moment that you had work tomorrow, but that thought quickly diminished into thin air.

"has she still been bothering you lately? i don't think i noticed her around you before," you asked, moving your head away to look at him. his hair was in a slight mess and he was slightly tinged pink. yet underneath the glow of the moonlight, he was still as tantalizing as the nighttime sky.

"she's been on a trip to italy these past few months," he softly replied, gazing down at you like your very own moon. "but she's also been texting me nonstop so that's something."

"well, at least she's not here right now."

"about that," jaehyun enunciated. "she's coming back here in a week."

you went silent and jaehyun could feel his heartbeat slowly but surely rising. were you upset that he'd just told you now? did knowing about seonha bother you? it's not easy for jaehyun to read people's emotions— he'd always been lacking with that category. the longer your silence, the tighter his chest got.

"will you be okay?"

like a sudden breath of warmth, your voice pierced through him and suddenly he can breathe again.

"do i have to protect you like last time?"

the teasing tone in your voice relieved him but at the same time it caused him to glare at you, feigning fake offense and you laughed at him. at least he knew you're not upset.

"i'll be fine, you don't have to worry," he said, giving you a smile of assurance. you detached your hand from his and decided to scoot closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder and he naturally found his arm around your waist. "but, enough about that— how was your day, miss y/n?"

"you don't wanna hear about my day. it's as boring as it could get," you reasoned, letting out a small yawn afterwards.

"i do want to hear," he pressed. "i don't mind if it's boring or not. i like listening to you speak."

he caught you off guard with that, to say the least, and you quickly snapped your head to face him. your mind concluded that it was a fatal mistake to do that since now your faces are mere centimeters apart, noses nearly touching. the cold air that was once biting at your skin was suddenly deemed nonexistent due to the sudden rising of the heat.

"a—alright," you stammered, diverting your attention to the sky instead. "if you fall asleep listening, then don't say i didn't warn you, jaehyun."

and so you went on about your day. starting from how you almost got late to your first job because jungwoo and donghyuck thought it was a good idea to barge into your house at four in the morning for a sudden non-sleepover sleepover. then you told him about the adorably gigantic dog you spotted while you were headed for lunch. and now you were talking about one annoying customer you had earlier in the bakery.

"there were five other people in line after her, but apparently getting her blueberry muffin to exactly a hundred-ninety degrees fahrenheit was much more important," you groaned, dropping your head back against the steel of the car. "and of course, i went and reheated one damned muffin just so she would stop complaining."

jaehyun swore he was listening to you. he was attentive— very attentive, and paid the utmost attention to any changes on your features— the way brows bunched up whenever you stop to think for a moment, the way your cheeks were slightly flushed and how you tried to hide it with your hair, the way your lips enunciated each vowel and each consonant and—

fucking hell, your lips.

halfway through your muffin story, his ears were suddenly muffled, his surroundings were a blur, and all he could think about was how your lips would feel against his.

"hyuck always tells me that i'm a bit of a pushover sometimes, and i'm starting to think he's right."

he could hear his heart ringing against his ears. you paused for a moment, sinking your teeth over the plush of your lip in the midst of thought and jaehyun felt like he was being driven into a dangerous corner. 

"do you think i'm a pushover, jae?" your head jolted to face jaehyun and his breath was suddenly caught inside his throat along with the sudden thoughts of you overlapping with more thoughts of you, bringing his mind to a combustible state of disarray. "jaehyun? you alright there?"

"oh— um, sorry," he coughed out. "i got a bit distracted, uh, what— what were you saying?"

his fluster was not only demonstrated by the cracks in his voice, but also by the way his cheeks were flaring scarlet and how he refused to look at you.

"distracted by what exactly?" you questioned.

jaehyun was a smart man. having graduated earlier than his peers and landing such a respectable spot in the company at a young age, you'd think he'd be articulate in every situation thrown at him, but somehow he found himself tripping over his own words."will— will i sound stupid if i say i got distracted by you?" 

oh my god.

"no no," you laughed, your heart suddenly caged inside an untamed whirlwind. you gently moved your left hand over his face, making him look into you. giddiness tugged at your cheeks, releasing an uncontrollable smile. "it's not stupid at all."

a simultaneous burst of dizzying bliss ruptured between the both of you— coming in the form of the identical beams on both of your faces, staring into each others' eyes as if the moon wasn't the brightest thing in the night.

and somehow, under the spectacle of a million stars,

you kissed.

it hadn't dawned on you that you'd waited for this moment to happen until it actually did. soft lips brushing against yours, rousing an unspeakable rush of heat. it was gentle at first— like the light tremors on the sea until the waves suddenly crashed onto you. his parted lips incessant against yours, leaving you in a buzz and on the brink of gasping for air.

until you felt him stop, abruptly pulling away from you with guilt ridden eyes.

"jae? is everything alright?"

"y/n, i— i'm sorry."

in the midst of your shared kiss, jaehyun realized something. and he couldn't bear the thought of it.

he had realized that he was in love with you.

so, so in love with you.

"i can't— i can't do this to you, y/n."

you felt a lump in your throat and you stared at him, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. was there something wrong— did you do something wrong? everything felt normal until now, everything felt right. but as you looked at him with tears threatening to spill, you'd thought that maybe none of this was right in the first place.

and maybe jaehyun had realized that, too.

"oh," you sucked in a breath, avoiding eye contact with him, and stumbled to get up from the ground. "right, of course. it— it would be damaging to your reputation if you're with me."

the icy breath of the air hit your face once you managed to stand up, the cold flooding your senses once more. "we both know that this wouldn't work out," you gazed down at him, only to see the glass stained heaviness in his eyes and you nearly broke down. turning your back at him, you swallowed, closing your eyes for a brief moment before choking out,

"i— i should go—"

"y/n, i love you."

you froze. everything froze. 

"my reputation, my image— god, all of those disappear when i'm with you," jaehyun's trembling voice seeped into every corner of your mind, restricting the air from coming into your lungs. "i'm… i'm not an expert when it comes to this but there is no denying that i am in love with you, y/n."

slowly, you went back to face him. jaehyun stood there, bearing his heart to you. the wind brushing against his hair as he looked at you with mist in glazing over his eyes. it was hard to not just run into his arms, telling him that you were also stupidly in love with him, but you held your words back, waiting for him to finish.

"but... with my job and everything," he stutters out. "i—i won't be able to dedicate all of my time to you, i won't be able to take care of you like i should, i—

i can't make you happy, y/n"

"but you already do."

there was a strong gust, breathing against your skin. you felt your heart drop to your knees, a constricting grasp replacing it in your chest as you felt the tears well up even more like a dam itching to break.

"do you think i don't know that? yes, i know you're busy— i know you have a shit ton of responsibilities to the point where you'd probably suffocate from them, and—and i know that sometimes finding time to have a single fucking conversation with you is sometimes impossible," your breath hitched, nearly choking over your own words but you went on. "but that has never stopped you from making me feel happy, jae. because even a single second spent with you can make make me happier than the rest of my life combined, so don't ever say that you can't make me happy because for fuck's sake— jung jaehyun, 

i'm at my happiest when i'm with you."

silence flooded. your breathing was scattered after all the things that you said, chest rising and falling in a repeated rhythm. jaehyun says nothing, only looking at you with an unidentifiable glimmer of heaviness in his face as he slowly walked towards you, closing in the space between you until it was practically insignificant. you could hear his heart beating.

he brings your face into his hands, not even realizing that you were crying until he gently wipes away the tears streaming down your cheeks. you look into him, his eyes pooling with oceans and oceans of emotions.

"i'm at my happiest when i'm with you, too."

a second kiss was shared that night— with a million stars watching over you.

gold painted canvas

the classic rich boy and poor girl love story but with less prejudice and more happiness

28 // make you happy

a/n: woah it took nearly 30 parts but at least it happened ;)) this took three days of utter procrastination but i hope you liked it jhhxjsjsjs

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[smileyoongle]

Tsundere BTS! IDFC: In love with the best friend (Song Edition)

Alright so I discussed the need for BTS as tsunderes with someone and I suddenly got an idea. Please please please forgive me if any of it isn't accurate cause this was my first attempt so.... LET'S GET IT?!

Also this Imagine is based on the song IDFC by Blackbear. If you haven't heard it then please do cause it's so good.

Kim Seokjin:

Tell me pretty lies, look me in the face. Tell me that you love me, even if it's fake. Cause I don't fucking care...at all.

Jin cursed under his breath when you wrapped your hands around his arm and leaned your head on his shoulder. It would have been normal if you were his girlfriend. But you weren't. You were his best friend who had a boyfriend. And he was tired of it.

Tired of not being your boyfriend. Tired of hearing you cry only to end up going back to that bastard who just didn't know how to treat you right. Tired of pretending that he didn't have feelings for you. He wasn't good at showing his emotions anyway but he probably would have made an effort if he had a chance with you. But he didn't.

At this point, he just wanted you to tell him that you loved him. Even if it was a lie.

At this point, he just wanted you to look at him the way he looked at you. Even if you were imagining someone else at that moment.

He just didn't care, desperation had become his best friend lately.

"He took me for a long drive but it ended shortly. He got a call from Lila and she sounded hurt so he had to go look aft-" he scoffed at your words, earning a frown from you. He knew Lila very well, the campus it-girl who loved waking up in everyone else's bed but hers. She had tried seducing Jin too but it definitely didn't work on him. The cold wind made you shiver as you stopped walking beside Jin and crossed your arms, glaring at him. He rolled his eyes and turned to you. "Why did you react like that?" You asked, tilting your head to the side. With a sigh, Jin took off his coat and proceeded to place it on your shoulder. "Can't have you falling sick when your boyfriend clearly needs you, right?" He mocked, looking at you with the same cold eyes that you saw every day. You shook your head in confusion, frowning even more if that was even possible.

"And to answer your question, how else do you want me to react, Y/N? Honestly, I'm out of things to say when you keep talking about him whenever we meet. He doesn't fucking care about you. Lila is not a damsel in distress and you know that. If you don't then you're even more naïve than I thought." He stated, immediately regretting his words when he saw the tears building up in your eyes. You glanced down at your shoes and bit your lip before wiping away a tear that escaped your eye. "You talk as if you're so much better. Every time that I try to talk to you, all I get are vague replies. You don't care either, Jin! I really thought I could put up with your distant and cold self but it's hard an-" you explained, your voice cracking in the middle but Jin cut you off.

"Then leave."

As soon as you heard those words, your mind went blank. "What?" You whispered, looking at him with wide eyes. Jin's heart was tearing apart at how upset you seemed. But he couldn't do it any more. He wanted you more than just a best friend. 5 years of hidden feelings had too many consequences. But he knew it had to be done. "I don't want your friendship, Y/N. Don't mean to sound like a selfish ass but I want what he has. And he has you. And since you're very much happy with him fucking around then I can't stand by the sidelines and watch you get played. So do us both a favour and leave." Jin said, his voice sounding more and more distant as you watched him walk away. You pulled his coat tightly around you, telling yourself that everything was gonna be okay.

But were you gonna be okay?

____________________________________________

Kim Namjoon:

You're slurring all your words, not making any sense. But I don't fucking care...at all.

Your hands were lightly wrapped around Namjoon's as he rested his head on the palm of his other hand. Faint snores rang through the room as the sun began to rise, reminding him that he needed to get some shut-eye.

He couldn't believe that he had pulled an all-nighter just to take care of a drunk you.

The you, that had unwantedly confessed to him that you were, indeed, in love with him. Right after the words left your mouth, his mind went blank and his heart kept pounding. He tried so hard to keep himself calm while putting you to bed, trying to pry yourself off of him while you pouted and accused him of not loving you back.

Little did you know....

It had been too long. Namjoon didn't even remember when he first started having feelings for you. But it had definitely been too long. He wasn't the best at this. People avoided him because he looked rude. But to you, he was your best friend that you adored beyond description.

Namjoon tried to sleep but that seemed like an impossible task. He just wanted to sit and admire you while telling himself that you were drunk and you didn't know what you were saying. But his conscience was screaming at him. Because drunk words are sober thoughts.

Namjoon let his fingers rest on your cheek, smiling when you leaned into them unconsciously. But that smile disappeared just as it came when you opened your eyes, instantly wincing due to the terrible headache you had. With panic rising in his chest, Namjoon flicked at your cheek making you yelp. You glared at him while rubbing your forehead and your cheek simultaneously. "What the hell, Joon?!" You exclaimed, whimpering after. Namjoon returned your glare and grabbed the pills he had placed on the nightstand along with a glass of water. Handing them to you, he stood up and started to leave the room, stopping on hearing your voice.

"Okay, am I dreaming? Because by now I would have thrown myself out the window after hearing your lecture about 'Bad decisions and their consequences'." You stated, making quotation marks in the air. Namjoon frowned and turned around, glancing at the empty glass by your side.

"I don't feel the need to lecture you. You're a grown woman who can make her own decisions." He replied, making you frown in confusion. This was not how Namjoon reacted. He always told you how childish you were and only a miracle could change that thought of his. But the truth was, Namjoon couldn't say anything to you after your confession. Mostly because he didn't regret anything and also you weren't aware of what you had said.

"Did I...say something last night?" You asked, hoping to find out why Namjoon was acting this way. His eyes widened momentarily but you didn't notice.

It was really simple, actually. Or at least that's what Namjoon thought. There was no way that he could hold your words against you when they were said in the wrong situation. He cared about you but he was also afraid that you would laugh it off. That would probably hurt the most. He was willing to wait until you said it as if you meant it but if that never happened, he was also willing to forget his feelings, if that was possible.

"No. Now get ready. It's your turn to make breakfast today." And so he left, leaving your heart in pieces. But you didn't blame him.

You didn't blame him for not knowing that you were sober and it was an act. You didn't blame him for not knowing that your words were honest and sincere. You didn't blame him for not wanting you back.

You just didn't blame him.

____________________________________________

Min Yoongi:

Cause I have hella feelings for you. I act like I don't fucking care, like they ain't even there.

Damp hair and damp clothes. Smeared mascara and tear stained cheeks. A wreck is what you were. And the sobs leaving your mouth only added to your misery.

It was raining heavily and you were positive that you would have fallen sick by now if it weren't for Yoongi, who was holding an umbrella over your crying figure while standing in the rain himself. But you didn't notice because you were too busy loathing over being stood up on a date that you had with a guy who had flirted with you for over a month. It was definitely heartbreaking for you, but it was even more heartbreaking for Yoongi, because he had to watch his best friend cry over an asshole when he could've done something about it But this wasn't about him. This was about you.

So he let you cry your heart out as you sat on the concrete with your knees pulled up to your chest, shivering occasionally.

Yoongi had to watch you smile at your phone for a month. He had to listen to your late night conversations on the phone through the thin walls of your shared house. He had to help you dress up for a guy who didn't deserve you. A guy that wasn't him. And there was nothing more painful than that.

"Wh-why me?" You stammered, hiccups making their way through your lips. You had been crying for too long. You didn't even remember when you called Yoongi to pick you up, only to end up breaking down in the middle of the footpath. You didn't even remember when he got there or when the rain stopped hitting you because he placed his only umbrella above you.

Yoongi's heart broke even more on hearing your voice. It held so much pain, he wished he could take it away. "Get up." He ordered, his voice wavering a little. You looked up at him, frowning and sniffling at his sudden coldness. But you were used to it. Because you knew Min Yoongi like no one else. So you obliged, holding onto his arm as you almost fell down due to how exhausted you felt. You gasped lightly on seeing your best friend's drenched state. His lips were almost pale, making you feel guilty about being such a crybaby. "Tomorrow morning, the first thing you are doing is coming with me to that bastard's dorm. And when we reach there, you better slap him with all you've got, do you understand?" He asked, anger evident in his tone. You smiled slightly after hearing his words. And there was no need for you to ask him why. The answer was already before you, so you nodded.

"Good. Now let's go home and get you out of these ridiculous clothes. You look better in hoodies anyway." He stated, grabbing your hand and pulling you behind him. The warmth that ran through Yoongi when he held your hand was unfathomable. It just felt too comforting. He wished to hold your hand forever but that seemed impossible at the moment. He thought he was just your best friend and you'd never take it further than that.

Which is why he did it. Probably his most stupid decision but he did it anyway. He set up a date for himself with your friend, the one who clearly liked him. Not like you would be bothered anyway, right?

"Will you spend the entire day with me? Tomorrow?" He broke out of his thoughts on hearing your voice. He was buckling your seatbelt for you already. Your eyes skimmed over his lost expression. Something was on his mind.

"I can't. I have a date tomorrow. But we could do something after I get back." He replied, turning the engine on and pulling onto the road. You couldn't tell why but your heart felt like it was being ripped out of your chest. Obviously, he had his own life. He couldn't just be there for you whenever you wanted. Strangely, it hurt more than being stood up. Blinking rapidly, you tried to get rid of the tears filling your eyes again. Your eyes closed as you wondered if you had lost your only chance at happiness.

Wondering if you'd lost the only person who thought you were enough.

_____________________________________________

Jung Hoseok:

Cause I have hella feelings for you. I act like I don't fucking care, cause I'm so fucking scared.

You know, the nervous and anxious feeling that you get when you do something you've never done before, that makes you wanna run away? That's exactly how Hoseok felt, dry throat and clammy hands. It was as if he was gonna pass out but he couldn't afford to do that. Dance lessons for the day had just ended.

Which meant, time to talk to you.

Grabbing his water bottle, he watched as all the students left the room, leaving him alone with you. You, the best friend of the absolutely talented but misunderstood Jung Hoseok. He had first met you in this very room, when you had decided to join dance lessons to take your mind off of things. And now here you were, three years and an amazing friendship. A friendship that Hoseok was sure he was gonna ruin.

Taking in a deep breath, he walked towards where you were sprawled out on the floor, lying down in the same position beside you.

It had been precisely two years and 4 months since Hoseok had realised his feelings for you. No matter what he did, you were the only thing on his mind and he just couldn't imagine his life without you. Too much pain.

"I have to tell you something." He stated, staring at the white ceiling. He could feel your eyes on him but he couldn't bring himself to look into them, afraid he'd mess up his speech. "Me too." You replied, smiling at him even though he couldn't see it. You were beyond excited to see his reaction on hearing what you have to say. With a frown, Hoseok turned his head towards you, wondering if you had to say something more important. "You first." He urged, making you nod. You sat up straight and tucked your feet beneath your butt, biting your lower lip harshly.

"I like someone."

The words made Hoseok wanna throw up. His heart was beating faster and his breathing was becoming heavier. Side effects of a broken heart. He immediately sat up and turned away from you, not wanting you to see the distress on his face.

He couldn't even remember how many times this had happened to him before. Being rejected for someone else. It made him feel suffocated. He wasn't expecting you to do the same. After 2 years of preparing himself, this was definitely not what he wanted. He was scared of being in love but you made it seem like it was beautiful. How stupid of him to have let his guard down.

"Hobi, are you okay?" Your soft voice brought him out of his agony. His head was starting to hurt and he hadn't even noticed the tear that had fallen down his cheek. Quickly wiping it away, he stood up and rushed to grab his bag. "Fine." He mumbled, not wanting to talk to you anymore. It was a mistake and he had to fix it. He was better off without you anyway.

Seeing him walking out the door, you couldn't help but feel like things were going wrong when they weren't supposed to. It was supposed to be a simple beginning to a simple love story. You were going to confess to Hoseok and he was gonna say he felt the same. But for some reason, the words were stuck inside your throat.

"You had to say something too." You said, sighing in relief as he stopped in his tracks. After a minute of silence, he finally spoke. "I won't be coming here anymore. Don't waste your time trying to keep in touch with me. I really don't care."

You fell on your knees just as he left, your vision becoming blurry as painful tears filled your eyes. You clutched at your chest with a gasp because it hurt. It hurt too much to fix it. Everything went so wrong so fast. And you didn't even know what to do. Yes, he was cold at times but he did care. Or at least that's what you thought. You lay on the wooden floor, sobbing and complaining about how unfair this was.

About how love broke you.

___________________________________________

Park Jimin:

I'm only a fool for you. And maybe you're too good for me.

Hiding behind his stack of books, Jimin tilted his head to take a look at the entrance of the library. The doors were still closed, indicating that no one had come through yet. But Jimin knew it was only minutes until you barge in through those doors in search of him to help you with your upcoming test.

Jimin hated that you only needed him for studies or when you had to cry your eyes out over some boy who broke your heart. That's all he was. A second choice. And for some twisted reasons, he had ended up falling in love with you. His heart kept screaming at him that it was wrong. Because you were the popular girl and he was just the campus nerd. There was no way there could be something between you two.

Just like he'd predicted, the doors to the library opened and you walked in, glancing at the huge room to look for your best friend. Jimin sighed as he watched you disappear between a couple shelves, only to scare him by suddenly jumping at him from behind. "And what's my cute bean busy with?" You chirped, taking a seat beside him and chuckling on hearing his groan.

"I'm not cute." He stated, rolling his eyes and closing the book that was in front of him. You couldn't tell but Jimin's heart was pounding just because you were sitting too close to him. "Whatever you say, hotstuff!" You shrugged and placed your cheek on the palm of your hand, resting your elbow on the table. With another shake of his head, he shoved all his books in his bag and zipped it shut. Pushing his chair behind him, Jimin stood up and walked towards the exit as you followed him while holding his arm with both of your hands.

"Jiminie, I need your help." You said, pouting at him and batting your lashes. A frown etched itself on your face when Jimin raised his eyebrows and turned to you.

"Tell me something I don't know."

Your jaw dropped in surprise as you stopped in your track, looking at Jimin in disbelief as he continued to walk out of the campus.

"What is that supposed to mean?!" You yelled, chasing after him as he laughed softly at how offended you were. Just as you caught up to him, he pursed his lips, hiding all traces of the laughter he had just emitted. "Just tell me what you need, Y/N." He urged, squinting when the bright sunlight hit his face on stepping out of the campus. He heard you huffed beside him, growing a little concerned for you. Maybe you were really in trouble th-

"I need you to come on a date with me..."

He choked on his own saliva and turned to you with wide eyes. Did he really just hear you say that?

"... actually a double date."

Jimin shut his eyes and took in a deep breath before chuckling bitterly to himself. Of course, it was a double date. How could he even think otherwise? The thought of you going on a date with someone made his heart ache. This wasn't the first time but he still wasn't used to it. He could never get used to seeing you go out with someone who wasn't him. "No." He mumbled, quickening his pace towards where his car was parked. You whined and ran behind him, confused as to why he just rejected you. You had never heard Jimin say no to you for anything before. "Oh come on, it will be fun. My friend is bringing her boyf-" you started to convince him, only to be cut off when he let out a loud groan.

You knew this was a bad idea. Jimin would never actually agree to go on a date with you. You were only his best friend who he tolerated to no extent. Yes, sometimes you used him for different purposes but that was only because you wanted a reason to be by his side all the time.

"I said no, Y/N. Don't make me say something you don't wanna hear because you know I can. So please go and find someone else to play with. I'm done being your pet."

Ouch.

Jimin was so consumed by his thoughts that he didn't even listen to what you were trying to say. He just knew that he couldn't be in a one sided love story anymore. So he made it clear to you, not even sparing you a glance as he drove off. He didn't know what he had done. Because love is blind.

And so is pain.

____________________________________________

Kim Taehyung:

I'm only a fool for you. But I don't fucking care...at all.

The party had ended after the fight between your boyfriend and Taehyung. They both had mercilessly kicked and punched each other as if their lives depended on it. Taehyung couldn't explain the anger that he felt after hearing your boyfriend's disgusting comments about you. This wasn't the kind of disrespect that you deserved and he wanted you to know that. For years, he had tried to keep you away from boys who only wanted you for sex. In his eyes, no one could love you like he did. But this time, he had failed.

You pulled your hair in frustration and walked towards the front door. Everyone had left, including your boyfriend. You were mad and confused because of how the night turned out. The fight took you by surprise because you didn't think there was any bad blood between Taehyung and your boyfriend. Actually, no, you didn't think anyone could have any problems with Taehyung. Firstly, because he didn't really talk to many people and came off as an introvert. And secondly, he was the most loving person in this entire world. But then again, no one knew him as you did. Even though he never told you, you knew just how much he cared about you.

That wasn't the only thing though. Before leaving, your boyfriend had told you to stay away from your best friend. Why? Because he had feelings for you. And for some reason, your heart fluttered. You sighed on seeing Taehyung sitting on the front porch of your house and approached him.

Taehyung noticed you sitting beside him. He was currently debating with himself whether he should let you in on his feelings or not. Because there was definitely a possibility that you would change your mind about your boyfriend.

Maybe you'd leave him to be with Taehyung.

The thought made him giddy but anxious. "Tae, what was that back there?" You asked softly. The light from inside the house illuminated his face a little, making him look even more ethereal than before. "He talked shit about you," Taehyung replied, clenching his jaw on remembering the exact words. You couldn't bring yourself to defend your boyfriend. You believed your best friend. It warmed your heart to think that he protected you, like always.

"If you think I did this for you then stop assuming. I...I.... nevermind I did it for you." Taehyung slumped in defeat. He didn't want you to think he was weak for you but he didn't know what to say without making you upset either. You chuckled and leaned your head on his shoulder as he smiled softly. The cool air made you feel cold and you pouted while rubbing your arms to keep them warm, failing eventually. You grabbed taehyung's arm and placed it around your shoulder. His breath hitched and a blush crept up his cheek. "Tae, I have a ques-" before you could ask him, he answered.

"I like you, Y/N."

You lifted your head from his shoulder and looked at him. His face was so close to yours, you could kiss him. You could kiss him and forget all about your current relationship. You could be happy with someone you've known all your life. You could-

"I have a boyfriend, Tae."

The words were out before you could stop them. You wanted to jump off a cliff on seeing the hurt expression on taehyung's face. You had just broken your best friend's heart. The best friend that you probably liked. Taehyung immediately stood up and started walking towards his car. He couldn't see your face anymore. All this time he was thinking that maybe you'd realize that your boyfriend was a heartless bastard. Maybe you'd realize that someone could love you more. But no, you were still reminding him of why you couldn't be with him. He was a fool to think that you would give him a chance. Your voice called out to him but he didn't turn.

He didn't wanna stand by you anymore.

____________________________________________

Jeon Jungkook:

You've been out all night, I don't know where you've been.

Jungkook threw the phone across the room in anger, wincing internally on thinking about the damage that could have happened. He had tried calling you about 30 times but you hadn't picked up. It worried him a lot since he had absolutely no idea where you had gone even though you did tell him it was a girls' night out. You had never stayed out until 3 before so Jungkook thought there must have been something wrong.

You and Jungkook were housemates, mostly because you both were best friends but also to help with the expenses. College had treated you both well so far. Jungkook was the golden boy while you were just another average girl living her best life. You had to admit that a part of you actually really liked Jungkook but you figured it was wrong so you buried those feelings away. And Jungkook? He had realised the extent of his feelings only after he had seen another notoriously popular playboy hitting on you. It made Jungkook so pissed that he ended up punching Trevor while threatening him to stay away from you.

Because you were the most innocent and beautiful girl he had ever met. Your eyes, the curve of your nose, your plump lips, your soft skin and your long hair. Every single thing about you became a reason for Jungkook to fall harder. The distant but popular hottie of the college was hopelessly in love with his best friend. And she didn't know.

Loud music and cheers of people grabbed jungkook's attention as he rushed to the window in the living room, only to see you walking beside the very playboy who Jungkook had punched, Trevor Marshall. You smiled at him as his friends cheered at him from his car, oblivious to the person waiting for you inside your humble abode.

You flinched as soon as you opened the door to the house. Jungkook stood in front of you with his arms crossed, his eyes glaring at you with sheer intensity. You were about to greet him but then you remembered what Trevor had told you so you returned his glare and shut the door behind you.

"What was Trevor doing here?" Jungkook asked, making you shiver on hearing his voice. You gulped but composed yourself and dropped your coat on the floor after taking it off. Jungkook's eyes raked over your body. A skin tight dress hugged your body and showed off your curves in all the right places. How did he not notice what you wearing before you left the house? Oh right! The coat. "Dropping me off. What else? Oh and by the way, he told me something very interesting." You mocked, brushing past his shoulder and into the living room, not catching his eyes on your hips. Jungkook gritted his teeth and followed you. He was absolutely not worried about you knowing what he did to that stupid asshole. "What did he say?" Jungkook asked, watching as you stood in the middle of the room with your hands on your hips.

"You punched him and told him to stay away from me. What the hell, Jeon? You think you can do whatever you want with my life when you have girls throwing themselves at you?!" You bellowed, your chest rising and falling rapidly with how breathless you felt. At this point, Jungkook was equally mad at you. You were talking as if he wanted that life. "I'm protecting you, Y/N! I know that guy better than you and all he wants is to get in-" Jungkook hated being interrupted and that's exactly what you were doing. This was only riling him up more.

"All this time, I thought something was wrong with me but it was you. You kept everyone away from me. Why, Jungkook? Why?!"

"Because I'm falling for you harder and harder everyday!"

Your breath hitched and silence took over. Jungkook mentally cursed at himself for acting this way. He should've known better than to say this. Judging by your expression, it was clear that you definitely didn't think the same.

Misunderstandings.

These were the very words that you wanted to hear so badly. It made you feel all warm and fuzzy. But all of it went as soon as it came upon hearing your best friend's next words. "But don't worry, Y/N. I'll just take this burden off of you. Go and do whatever the fuck you want. I was stupid to think you'd appreciate this. But now I won't bother you. Don't come crying to me though. Because right from this moment, I don't fucking care what you do with your life." He spat and rushed to his room, slamming the door shut as tears filled in your eyes. Jungkook knew that he was too harsh. He always regretted the things he said when he was angry. How did things go from right to wrong so fast? How did you get confessed to and rejected at the same time? You sat on the couch and ended up crying yourself to sleep, your thoughts consuming you in an endless abyss.

How did love embrace you only to tear you apart?

Well, I kinda messed up some of the members but... can't blame me for trying, right? Anyway, I know my requests are closed but you can absolutely send in song requests too. Give me a song and I'll write what I interpret out of it's lyrics. Alright, goodbye!

-XX

[illuxions-x]

𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑✨

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑶𝒏𝒆.

𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝:

⋆

Melanie-Ann Lowe was sitting contently on her glossy white bed skimming quickly over a thick science book in preparation for the Hawkins annual science fair held in early December. The girls friends had all entered as a group and needed to come up with some unique ideas.

One boy, Dustin Henderson, who had been neighbors with the girl since before she was born, was like an older brother and they had a rare friendship deeper then most people would like to admit.

She made a frustrated sigh and closed her book, not finding any ideas.

Getting distracted and looking out of her fingerprint ridden window to see two lights glide down her street, one stopping across from her house, and the other continuing into darkness.

Dustin turns around, seeing Melanie on the top story with her glowing yellow light, he gives her a toothless smile and a wave before walking into his house.

The two had a plan.

Laughter erupted from the room next to hers, distracting her from her gaze. Her sister Audrey and her best friend Robin Buckley were hanging out at the Lowe house for a 'study' date, but the younger girl knew they were just eating food and talking about boys.

Smoothly she exited her room, tiptoeing past her sisters room, down the narrow staircase to the main floor, which was dark and quiet, with so little sign of any people.

The Lowe parents had left for a trip to New York for an important news article, so Mel was in the care of her sisters. Her dad, Bruce Lowe, had a cushy job at the Hawkins Post, and had worked there for 20 years, since he graduated high school.

Her mum, Loretta Lowe, was a ripe example of a trophy wife and went with her husband on expensive trips. Melanie loved them, like any average person would, but she missed them as they weren't around as much as other parents.

Valerie was the girls oldest sister, and knowing her room would be empty, as she was most likely at a school party, like most nights. The sisters were all very different personality wise, but similar with their mothers fair looks, fought but seemed to get along for a majority of the time. 

Snatching a packet of Doritos out of the cupboard, she walks back to her room and shuts the door behind her. Picking up the textbook again, but not being able to concentrate. After a few minutes of staring into nothing, she hears a knock on her window.

"shhhhhhhh! My sister w-will hear you!" the girl whispers, opening her window slowly but cautiously.

"Come on! We can go now, hurry up!" Dustin replies practically dragging her out the window, knowing that her parents had left earlier that morning, and her sisters didn't care enough to worry. Melanie takes her brown backpack, which was always filled with essentials and snuck out of her house.

"Step quieter w-will you, or we-we'll get caught." the blonde squeaks, while attempting to not step on the dead autumn leaves to get to her bike. Walking it down her steep driveway, turning on their front lights then riding off down a back road.

It being a Sunday night, most houses were sleeping and minimal cars were driving around. The pair perk up when they hear distant music, but continuing at the same pace, along the road parked cars start to slowly multiply and the music becomes more distinctive.

Not surprisingly was the party being held at (What Audrey and Robin called him,) Steve 'the hair' Harrington's house, as the two rode past, slowing down just slightly, did Melanie recognize a particular face from the front yard.

Seeing Valerie there only made her bolt off faster down the road, with the curly haired boy right behind her.

Darting down a back street and keeping to it for a few minuets did they find themselves at the junk yard. Leaning their bikes against the abandoned bus and going inside, the duo sat on a seat facing each other and unpacked the food they had brought in their bags.

"How w-was the campaign? Also p-pass the skittles." the girl asks making herself comfortable in the seat, her tiredness causing her stutter to worsen, "It was great! But we lost the dice right before we got to see if Will survived." Dustin hands Mel the packet in return for a whole Kit-Kat bar.

After many laughs and bubbling conversation, a shrieking noise in the woods motivates the two to head back home. Going a different way than before, to avoid getting caught by the girls now possibly drunk sister.

"See you tomorrow Lanie!" the boy shouts as he goes to his window to sneak back in, Melanie walks her bike back up her driveway, climbing up the wood used to keep the Vine wall growing upwards, walking across the roof and opening her window delicately.

⋆

An agitating beeping awakens Melanie from her slumber. Taking off her pink flowery covers, the cold early November air that hit her bare legs made her visibly shiver before she arched her back also stretching her arms in the air.

She had decided to have a shower later the previous night after her annual meet with her neighbor. Changing into some light blue jeans and a black and white striped long sleeve, with mismatched spotted socks to go with it.

"Do you want a ride this morning?" asks Val, grabbing her car keys with Audrey and Robin in tow. The older girl sporting bloodshot eyes framed with dark rings, and voice croaky.

"I'm riding with Dustin today, see ya!" The younger girl skips through the door with her slightly muddy pastel pink backpack in her hand.

Knocking on the Henderson door quietly, hearing faint footsteps and door open, with the young boy smiling brightly whilst slipping a cap over his naturally messy hair.

"How w-was your night?" the blonde asks, "Alright, you?" "yeah same." 

Riding off to the opposite direction they went the night before, and up the slight hill that always killed their leg muscles, they rode all the way to Hawkins Middle School in little time, where their friends Mike and Lucas were standing around. She frowns slightly noticing the absent person and parks her bike into the stand before catching up with the two.

"Isn't W...W-ill here?" She calls out, her hair blowing in from the wind. Making her push it out of her face.

"He could have just slept in?" Lucas thinks, "Probably." agrees the girl.

"Maybe he just went to class early again," says Mike, "he's always paranoid Gursky's gonna give him a pop quiz." laughs Dustin as they continue walking into the school, the others nod. The group were interrupted by a voice behind them.

"Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! Step right up and get your tickets for the freak show!" Melanie's head whips around to see James and Troy, two older boys who loved to torment her friends.

The group don't dare to move, it was a regular occurrence, they were quite used to it by now. Troy looks them up and down, giving a glare at Mel, the girl scrunching her nose and turns her focus on her shoes, not wanting to make eye contact with the older boys.

"Who do you think would make more money at a freak show, 'Frog-face,' 'Midnight,' 'Toothless'? or M-M-M-Melanie" he says snickering,

"Ooof. Tough call, tough call." James interrupts, eyeing Dustin, "I'd go with Toothless." He sneers.

"My teeth are coming in, I told you a million times, it's called cleidocranial dysplasia-" The curly haired boy gets irritated, "I told you a million times!" Troy mocks him laughing with his friend.

"Do the arm thing." he demands, if Mel was bold enough she would roll her eyes, but she stood statue still, scared of the consequences. Dustin hesitates before stretching his arms out, causing the bullies to make a disgusted face.

"Gets me every time! Every time!" Troy exclaims before shoving the group as he walks away into the school laughing.

"Numbskulls," Lucas whispers under his breath, making the blonde giggle.

"I think it's cool, it's like a superpower or something, like Mr. Fantastic!" Mike tries to be optimistic towards his friend. Mel reaches for is hand and gives it a squeeze in attempt comfort. Smiling slightly in response.

"Yeah, except I can't fight evil with it." replies Dustin before the group pick up their bags and walk to class, still confused as to where their friend could be at the time.

⋆

A swarm of Middle Schooler's scramble to grab their books and bags and hurry out of class after the bell chimes, talking loudly about latest gossip amongst themselves.

"Remember, finish chapter twelve, and answer twelve-point-three on the difference between an experiment and other forms of science investigation-" the teacher stops after realizing that there are no more children in the class to hear his reminder.

"So did it come?" Mike asks as the four huddle around the teachers desk in anticipation. Melanie's smile falters when Mr Clarke hesitates, "Sorry, boys," she gives the teacher a pointed look, "and girl, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but..." the four all sigh in frustration, not pleased they would gave to be patient another day.

"It came." He finishes.

The group look up with a wide smiles and Melanie jumps a little with excitement, pulling Lucas along with her by the upper arm, as the four run through the now deserted halls, their footstep echoing, straight to the A.V room. Mike gets the door open first then Dustin pushes past Lucas and Mel to get through second.

"Hey!" they both say simultaneously, yelling at Dustin for cutting in, he just gives the two a smirk and stands to the right of Mike, who was sitting in the chair, while Lucas stood to the left and Mel with her hand on Mikes shoulder, leaning in to get a closer look.

Mike places the headphones over his ears.

"The Heath-kit ham shack, ain't she a beaut?" Grins Mr Clarke, pointing to the new radio.

"I bet you can talk to New York on this thing-" exclaims Dustin, the teacher just gives a smile, "think bigger,"

"California?" adds Lucas, "bigger,"

"Australia?" the girl squeaks, Mr Clarke nods. "Holllly shit." Says Mike, getting a look from the teacher and a playful hit from a giggling Mel.

"Oh man, when Will sees this he's going to totally lose his shit-" Lucas bursts out, "Lucas," Mel scolds though she was giggling,

"sorry."

"'Ello, this is Mike Wheeler, President of Hawkins Middle A.V. Club-" begins Mike in a terrible Australian accent, only to be cut off by Dustin.

"'Ello, this is Dustin Henderson, Secretary and Treasurer of Hawkins Middle A.V. Club, do you eat kangaroos for breakfast?" everyone cringes at the accent and just as Mel's about to be passed the headset by Dustin, there's a knock on the door.

The blonde recognizes one of the men as the principle and the other as chief Hopper. She grows curious, her eyebrows furrowed, assuming something was wrong.

"Sorry to interrupt, but may I borrow Michael, Melanie, Lucas, and Dustin?" The familiar man asks. The group share a puzzled look, all silent as ever contemplating what could have happened.

⋆