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joelswritingmistress · 10 months ago

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You Scare Me, Professor: Chapter 22

Summary: The reader is taking graduate classes at a local university in the wooded upstate New York. She is drawn to her professor, Dr. Joel Miller, though she is also inherently aware that he has something dark about him that she can't quite put her finger on. As the reader's attraction grows deeper, she has to decide whether to endure the danger or run away as fast as possible.

Pairing: Professor Joel Miller x f!reader

I had gotten through Dr. Stevenson’s class with flickering eyes in the dim lighting. Knowing that Dr. Miller was right next door teaching his other course had me thinking about him.

Was he making people laugh? What material was he teaching? And the question I tried not to let creep into my jealous, little mind - is he attracted to anyone in that class? I don't know why I did that to myself, but I couldn't help my inner baseless insecurities. Still, I didn't let it consume me. I was the one who had a key to his house. I was the one who was attending his sister’s wedding in a few weeks. I was the one sleeping beside him on a nightly basis.

Be cool, I told myself. Our romance was too hot and steamy for me to attempt, or even pretend, to be cool.

When I wandered out into the hallway in the crowd of other students, I glanced down toward the closed door near the end of the hall and smiled to myself. I then whipped out my phone to find text messages from both Dr. Miller and James - who had been walking me to my car regularly on Wednesday nights.

Before clicking on Dr. Miller’s, I expected his typical racy text that made the extra hour without him feel ten times as long. I smiled to myself when it read: Please be careful. Let me know when you get home. I still don't trust the campus security.

I had to admit I enjoyed Dr. Miller’s healthy dose of jealousy towards James. It made me feel less guilty for having my own insecure thoughts. I guess it was just human nature, to some degree.

I wrote him back, promising I would text him when I arrived at my car and then again at home. I added a heart emoji and hit send before moving on to James’s text, which let me know he’d see me in the parking lot. A part of me felt just a bit needy for asking him to come by every Wednesday at this time; but I knew Dr. Miller’s concerns for my safety wouldn't allow for me to be alone after dark on campus - even for just a minute or two. I didn’t particularly think I needed James, but I know, despite his distaste for another male to come to my aid, it made Dr. Miller feel better. That was enough for me.

Gotta pee, long ride home! I texted back to James, adding, See ya in a second. Thanks!!

I stuffed my phone back into my bag and wandered into the women's bathroom in a nook by the elevators.

When I hung my bag and sat in the stall, my phone buzzed again. Tori.

Her text came through: Hey, thanks for the two months in advance. You didn’t have to! Btw, I have a huge question. Nothing bad. Call when you can.

Big question? What could it be? And I certainly didn’t pay two months in advance.

Dr. Miller. It had to be him.

I quickly tapped her name and hit the little phone icon and put the receiver up to my ear.

“Hey!” My friend answered in a cheery voice, “Didn’t think you’d call back so quickly!”

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Ahh…” She breathed the word and I knew she was hesitant to ask whatever it was she was about to. “So.. um.. Derek.”

I smiled to myself, thinking I had an inclination of what this was about. And I actually thought it would solve a few of my inner monologue issues, especially since Dr. Miller insisted on having me at his place every night.

“You want him to move in,” I speculated. It caused a long pause on the other end and I finally asked, “Tori?” Maybe I was wrong. Maybe they broke up. Maybe-

“Yeah. I feel like a dirtbag for asking-”

“Why?” I practically shouted, and then put a hand over my mouth with a little laugh when I heard the door open to the restroom.

“Because it’s our place and I know adding a dude to the mix could make it awkward.”

“Well.. honestly.. Dr.-” I caught myself and stopped for a second.

“Doctor?”

“I.. well.. Hmm..” I reset. “Joel gave me a key to his place.”

“What!?” Tori exclaimed.

“I know I've been staying there a lot,” I went on.

“(Y/N) it's totally okay.” She laughed. “So, is he like your hot sugar daddy?”

I laughed again and glanced to the side when I heard someone shuffling around. “No. I am falling for him pretty hard though.” And then I added, “I think it's great if Derek moves in.”

“Really?” Tori squeaked.

“Really.”

“I feel like we haven't seen each other. We need to meet up this week and really talk.”

“Definitely. How about Friday after work?”

“Yes!”

“Okay. Congrats on Derek.”

“Congrats on your hot old man.”

I laughed. “Alright. I'll see you soon.”

“Bye.”

The door handle turned and I cleared my throat. “Oh, someone’s in here.” A knock followed. “Be right out.”

I got myself together and felt the muscles in my stomach tense when there was another, louder knock. This time I didn’t answer right away. And then came a loud bang that caused me to jump back a few inches. I almost shrieked but I held it in.

“I’ll be right out!” I shouted now, beginning to use my phone. When the door handle twisted again, I used the best verbal defense I could think of. “I’m calling campus security!”

The pounding stopped. The door handle twisting stopped. I breathed heavily a few times and swallowed hard as I heard the faintest sound of footsteps. As badly as I wanted to peek out of the crack in the door, fear had me pinned against the wall of the bathroom stall.

I heard the creak of the door and then there was silence. I began texting Dr. Miller, though before I hit send I stopped myself. He was teaching a class. I didn’t want to bother him and pull him out of class. Not to mention there was no good reason why, according to the university, I should be phoning my professor.

“Fuck.” I whispered the word to myself. I wanted to call him, but I knew it wouldn’t be a good look. On the same note, I knew when I told him about this later, he’d be pissed that I didn’t call him.

I went with my next best option. James.

Until I heard the door crack open again, and my friend’s familiar voice called hesitantly into the women’s bathroom, I remained behind the locked door - not that someone couldn’t have gotten under the bottom of it if they really wanted to. Still, I wasn’t about to tiptoe out, only to be ambushed.

“(Y/N),” James called, “It’s me. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I cleared my throat and finally managed to open the door. I quickly washed my hands and then hurried back out into the civilization - which at the moment was only James and I.

“Are you okay?” He asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah.” I took a deep breath and brushed my hair back. “I don’t even know what happened. I was.. I don’t know if someone was just being impatient, or..” My eyes met his, “I don’t know.”

“Did it seem like a threat?”

I shrugged. “They tried opening the door, and I told them I was in there. And then they just kept knocking and pounding at the door and twisting the handle.” I shook my head, “It was probably someone just having a bad day, or.. I don’t know.”

“Let’s make it a formal complaint,” James suggested, but I shook my head.

“No. No, I’m sure it was nothing.”

“You have to,” he insisted, “You can’t be too careful. With everything that’s happened here, it needs to be reported.” James pulled out a small notebook from his shirt pocket.

I scrunched my nose. “Do you have to include my name?”

He shook his head. “I’ll keep that part to myself.” James made a face, “Unless they really need it for some reason.”

“Okay.” I agreed. He took the details of what had happened and then proceeded to walk me the rest of the way to my car, flashing his light in my back seat just before I hopped in.

“Thank you, James.” I gave him a hug. “I appreciate your help.”

“You’re welcome.” He gave a small grin. “Any time you need someone, I’m here. I know you take a few night classes here so just make sure you don’t walk alone.”

“I won’t.”

“Be careful.”

I nodded and began to duck into the driver’s seat.

“Hey, (Y/N).”

“Yeah?” I glanced up at him as I settled in.

“Do you still live on that dead end street with Tori?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Why?”

James shrugged. “You just said you had a long ride home. I didn’t know if you moved, or if you were staying with your parents or something.”

“Oh.” Shit, I had slipped. “Yeah, tonight I’m actually.. Staying somewhere else.”

“Oh.” His eyebrows rose and fell and it appeared as though he was waiting for an explanation. When I failed to elaborate James cleared his throat. “Well, stay safe.”

“Thanks for helping me out.”

“No problem.”

I waved goodbye and closed the door, locking it as I started it up. Before I put it in drive, Dr. Miller’s text came through, asking if I was on my way home.

How much do I tell him right now?

I hesitated before leaving it at: Pulling out of the parking lot now.

Are you okay to be in that big house alone? He asked.

The thought did freak me out a bit. But I knew it was probably the safest place for me to be. If it wasn’t, Dr. MIller wouldn’t be comfortable sending me off there alone.

I wrote back: If I say no will you hurry home?

I’ll hurry home anyway.

I smiled to myself and began the drive back up the desolate highway into the heart of the Catskills. After weeks of spending the night at Dr. MIller’s mansion, I couldn’t imagine not staying there.

The longer I drove with my music playing, the less I thought of the incident in the bathroom. It was when I finally reached the tall, steel gates surrounded by nothing but woods that my anxiousness grew. I had to physically get out of the car to do the code. That was when all thoughts of the bathroom came rushing back.

Dr. Miller was over a half hour away. He wasn’t here to protect me. What if that was some psycho killer? What if someone was here now? My mind rushed to all the worst case scenarios now that I was forced with the task of getting out of the car to open the gates. It was dark. It was scary - at least without Dr. Miller it was.

“Grow up,” I whispered to myself. I knew if I was going to be living there, or kind of living there, that I would have to do this.

I opened the door and hugged my body, glancing around at the swaying trees all around me. Snow still sat in patches around the area from the small storms and the pavement was dark and damp.

2003. It was four numbers, and then I could get back in the car, drive up, get comfortable and wait for my knight in shining armor.

I left the car door open and clutched my keys as I slowly paced the uphill pathway toward the key pad. A whistle from the wind made me whip around in all directions and I had to catch my breath and remind myself that I was fine. It was just the desolate surroundings and the murders on campus that had me jumpy.

Very valid reasons, I reminded myself.

I reached for the keypad and punched in 2-0 as a set of headlights rolled up the drive, illuminating trees off to the left as it rounded a bend before was in the crosshairs of the beams.

That was the last straw. I didn't know whether to keep typing or run back to my car. I did neither. I froze.

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

@untamedheart81 @suttonspuds @cesspitoflove @michilandcof @grogusmum @morallyinept @akah565 @brittmb115 @magpiepills @poodlebae @gobaaby-blog-blog @mermaidgirl30 @mandijo17 @jiminstinypinky @itscatrodriguez-thepearl @macaroni676

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simplychestnut · 3 months ago

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GroupChat

Written by: me, SimplyChestnut, and my chaotic sister whom I love very much

Fandom: Alan Becker

Green named the group chat 'The Backrooms'

Green added Second to the group

Green added Blue to the group

Green added Red to the group

Green added Yellow to the group

Green changed Yellow's name to 'Not allowed to talk'

Yellow changed Green's name to 'Treehugger'

Treehugger: >:0

Green changed his name to 'Yourlocalprince'

Yellow changed his name to 'ImmaHacker'

Second changed his name to 'thisismyusername'

Blue changed his name to 'JustgoogleIt'

Red changed his name to 'Rueben4ever'

JustgoogleIt: we forgot to add Purple

Yourlocalprince: oop-

Yourlocalprince added Purple to the group

Purple changed her name to 'cherryblossom105'

Cherryblossom105: FINALLY IVE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR LIKE 15 MINS WAITING FOR U TO ADD ME

ImmaHacker: nice to see u too ō ō

Rueben4ever: y did we mak thiz chat anywahs

Yourlocalprince: if u even talk like that I'm kicking u

Rueben4ever: 😁

Yourlocalprince: don't even start the emojis. I'm warning u

Thisismyusername: leave Red be. It's not his fault he can't spell

Rueben4ever: :3

JustgoogleIt: Y get yer foot outa my face

ImmaHacker: dude, I'm right beside u, just tell me

Cherryblossom105: lol

JustgoogleIt: nuuu. Texting is more fun :p

ImmaHacker: -_-

Thisismyusername: srry I'm not very active rn. I'm trying to do some laundry rq

ImmaHacker: kk

JustgoogleIt: k

Yourlocalprince: k

Rueben4ever: ok

Cherryblossom105: okie-dokie

JustgoogleIt: r u finished?

Thisismyusername: no, I haven't taken in an efficient amount of air to stand up yet.

Rueben4ever: ar yoo dun yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet??????

Yourlocalprince kicked Rueben4ever from the group

Thisismyusername: green!!

Yourlocalprince: that wasn't me!! Yellow hacked into my account!!!

Thisismyusername: are you serious? You can't just blame yellow for everything.

ImmaHacker: :3

Yourlocalprince: please you've got to believe me I don't know how to convince you but I swear it's not me!

Yourlocalprince: nvm. Don't believe me. I'm just a jerk. Yellow is really smart, but too angelic and kind to ever do such a thing! Besides, I'm so fat when I sit down at the dinner table, I sit by eeeeeeeverybody.

Thisismyusername: ok I believe you now.

ImmaHacker has left the chat

Thisismyusername: where is he?

Yourlocalprince: upstairs in his room

JustgoogleIt: I'm up here, too. He just locked himself in the closet.

Cherryblossom105: again??

Yourlocalprince: I'm coming up there with an axe

JustgoogleIt: run, brother, run D:

Cherryblossom105: should I call 911 ō ō

Thisismyusername: sure whatever you feel you should do. Imma finish the laundry.

Thisismyusername: green, add red back rq

JustgoogleIt: I've left the room for fear of getting caught in the crossfire, but I can hear screaming from upstairs. Please send help before they break something valuable. Like their bones.

JustgoogleIt: oh no, it's quiet. That's worse

Yourlocalprince: green is no more. I have bedridden us of that vulgar scum. My envisioned conquest had been unaltered by the unbreakable prophecies of fate!!

Cherryblossom105: could you repeat that in a language we can understand pls

Thisismyusername: yellow give green back his phone

Yourlocalprince: what? And run the risk of physical contact with the creature? He's the color of my vomit

Thisismyusername: where's green? ō ō

Yourlocalprince: in a better place.

Cherryblossom105: k im calling 911 rn

Thisismyusername: don't make me come up there

Yourlocalprince: ok Purple since green wont say it to u I will he loves u and he thinks r beuwehwh

Yourlocalprince: sry I'm back. Yellow had me gagged and tied to his chair but I'm

Yourlocalprince has left the chat

Thisismyusername has been made admin

Thisismyusername: he just saw Yellow's message...

JustgoogleIt: lover boi's in denial fr

Thisismyusername added Yellow to the group

Thisismyusername added Red to the group

Yellow: bro's blushing in at least 15 different languages rn

Red: wut happened?

Cherryblossom105: um... o o

Thisismyusername: aight. Imma go take a nap. Whatever happens, Blue's in charge.

JustgoogleIt: yes!

Yellow: what?! Noooooooo we're doomed D:

JustgoogleIt: oh, come on. I'm not that bad.

Yellow: *panicky Italian noises*

Cherryblossom105: since when were u Italian?

Yellow: 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yup. Hope y’all enjoyed this

#animator vs animation #alan becker #animation vs minecraft #simplywrites #simply’s sister #we’re both menaces to society

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bluegekk0 · 11 months ago

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Okay back for some more art related questions.

How did you make fpk so pink without actually making him pink? I feel like every time I try to draw a pale character with an undertone of color, it looks like that color even though on the color wheel I added like 3% of the color.

How long does it take you to do your art? For an example how long did the fpk reference sheet take you compared to The Cycle art piece with Grimm?

How do you eyeball man? Your art is literally the reference pictures I use to try and draw dark eyes but every time I try to draw them, it looks like Kawaii eyes. Like the eyes in this emoji:🥺. How do you do it?

it all comes down to a very simple thing - it's about highlights that trick your mind into seeing a different color. i'll mainly talk about pink here cause that applies to fpk and i have examples, but i'm sure you could apply this to other colors

here he is with the pink highlights, without them, and what he would look like if he was actually pink. see the difference? he's still predominantly light gray, but the pink details make you see it as more pink-tinted than he actually is

it's not a 1:1 match since he's leucistic as opposed to fully albino, but i was heavily inspired by pictures like these:

if you notice, they're not pink, all of them are white, but the pink areas around the mouths or in the shadows make them appear pink-ish

his pre-hibernation look is a lot closer to these pictures, since his soul glow made him more white than light gray (he also has very subtle iridescence)

the lineart also plays a big role in making a white/gray character appear to have a certain color

here's fpk as you see him on the ref with gray lines + pink highlights, with the highlights removed, and with pink lines (the shadow behind the horns was adjusted as well to match the lines)

both 1 and 3 appear to look light pink. the third one especially affects how the body looks, so depending how subtle you want the effect you may choose between the two options. or mix them, whatever you like. and as you can see, the colors on the last two are identical, but the one on the right looks more pink

(and if i'm being honest, i may actually snatch those pink lines for future drawings, cause i really like how that looks hahah)

---

2. it's very difficult to say, i get distract easily so i never keep a proper count. but the unshaded drawings don't take very long, unless there's a pose or any other details that gives me trouble, and i focus all my attention on it, i'd finish the lineart and color phases in probably around 30 minutes? the sketch always influences the length of the process the most, so there's no single way to determine it

and in the case of references, it naturally adds up. the last updates aren't exactly the most reliable way to deduce that since a lot of them were just updates to existing drawings. but if i were to start from scratch, had clear poses in mind and didn't get distracted, i could probably get it done in like two hours

as for the more detailed drawings, they take a lot longer. again, i can't really say how long, the cycle drawing took me a few sittings, but if i had to guess it was probably a few hours in total? maybe around 5? just guessing

---

3. depends which style i go for. in the unshaded style i keep the eyes simple. one flat color and two lighter colors for the reflections. the more subtle ones play a big part, they make the eye look more 3d and wet. and that also carries over to the painted, shaded style, which includes additional lighting and some details. i particularly like the little star shaped reflections, i think they're adorable but they're subtle enough where they're not distracting

another big part of how i paint his big black pupils is their reflective nature. in a brown room, they'll look more brown than black and so on. it's very exaggerated, normally such eyes wouldn't change color to such a drastic extent, but i think it makes the drawings look more interesting

i can't really offer any specific tips other than that, since i kinda make it up as i go. but using photo references is always helpful, especially for different eye colors

#ask stuff #gekko.art #art guide #fpk

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vitaminseetarot · 1 year ago

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Aquarius Full Moon PAC - General Messages 🖤💗❤️

The full moon in Aquarius is finally here! I hope you're getting the chance to enjoy some sunshine in between these bright moonlit evenings. I sure have had my fill from this last weekend; I got the royal sunburn to prove it! Owo#

(Life lesson: apply sunscreen, then do it AGAIN.)

Aren't you glad we can't get moonburns? One could get burned sitting on the moon, sure, but it's kinder than to send that kind of energy back down to Earth. The moon allows us to see the sun's light without dying, which I can appreciate. But I'm going off on a tangent! Below are three images based on color palette cards I've picked for your reading. I've also added some emoji hearts for additional guidance. Please time all the time you need to select your pile when you're ready.

(1, 2, 3 - images from pixabay, divider from @saradika)

Pile 1. Tahoe Blue + Black Heart

X Wheel of Fortune, 7 of Pentacles, XXI World; Sun - Source, Space (Black), New Moon Gemini - Communication is Key

"I'm curious about my true nature; I seek to understand myself."

I feel such stillness and calm with this pile. You have so much blue present in your pile asides from the palette card! And watery energy too; your moon quote card has a lake on it too! Still yet deep. I'm hearing that this pile is getting a big upgrade to your throat energy. It's for both ways, listening and speaking, but I think speaking is being highlighted here more. This is in order to help you move through a bigger phase of your life that's yet to come. You may be feeling like you're ready to come out of your shell, even if just for a short while. There's a sense of grand change occurring in your external world, something that has been in the background or in the works for a long time has finally begun to culminate during this potent full moon time.

You have have recently closed a big chapter in your life and cleared out the muck. Now it's like you're standing before a canvas and you're ready to paint something new. The lunar force moving now allows a turn of luck to flow towards you like a water wheel. It's also purifying your intentions. When you have the place to be still and concentrate on where you want to go next, things can really quickly line up in your favor. With this extra space, whatever that has been building in the background may finally come out and be seen and heard. There's no resistance to this buildup, or there was resistance but it's been removed through this clearing out. You're being asked to savor this brief time. Not just make use of it, because in a way it's growing on its own, but to actually enjoy where you are right now. To get into the mindset of the person on the 7 pentacles card harvesting their abundance, that all is working out at a good pace.

You're being recommended to journal or write during this phase, perhaps like paragraphs of where you're going next (like a vaunt). I'm also getting vision boards for you would help if you need inspiration, or lyrical songs. I'm getting that communications will help you move into the next stage. This whole reading reminds me of someone who's finally finished the manuscript of their book and is sitting in that serenity of having completed something important. But, dear, that's not the end of it! You still need to bring it out into the world for it to be as evident as you see it in your mind. You still would need to get an agent and submit the manuscript to publishers for review.

Communication is being highlighted here as being that which you need in order to move along. Furthermore, you're being asked to tune into yourself for answers on where you'd like to go next, as no one else can tell you. People don't just go out on the lake for peace and quiet, they go to find a piece of themselves and to tune into that for spiritual guidance. May the boat be your lucky charm this full moon, pile 1. Not just to find yourself on the open water, but to connect you with other shores as well.

Pile 2. Sunflower Seed + Pink Heart

Queen of Cups, Queen of Swords, 4 of Cups; Vesta - Hearth, Love (Pink); Full Moon Virgo - You Are Good Enough

"Beauty raises my vibration; I seek it for joy."

For the rest of this month, you are focusing solely on your own needs. Like it or not! [blows coach whistle] But no, seriously, I'm not getting busybee vibes from this pile, I'm getting "poor dehydrated bee that's fainted on a flower" kind of feel. Maybe you're actually dehydrated and tired! This could also be true for your garden if you have one. You may need extra TLC around this full moon. You've been stretching yourself too thin but you'll be in much-deserved receiving mode in order to heal. I like that two Queens showed up and one of them is of Swords. She knows better than to spend her precious time worrying over the trifling things. She knows when to disconnect and tune into what's important. And Queen of Cups says that important thing is your own emotional wellbeing and comfort.

Your quote card features a person standing at the peak of a mountain with arms stretched out towards the moon in accomplishment. You either are or have been working intensely on something for the last few months. It either has or will soon come to a full head and with that comes a surge of expended energy. Similar to midterms or the week before a holiday when the workflow doubles. It's a crunch time! Since it's summer and you may not be in midterms or busy on vacation, this could be a reference for later this year or fiscal quarter. Take care that this busy time coming up isn't going to drain you.

You could have opportunities come up near the middle of autumn that's gonna want your attention. You'll want to be fully hydrated and refreshed for when it finally shows up. The 4 of cups can sometimes be about blind spots, or the blessings we don't see readily available because we're too tired and burnt out to really see what's there. It's highlighting this opportunity and wants you to make the most of it.

You could be feeling a strong pull to stay at home and focus on your craft, project, or hobby. Perhaps you're busy squeezing out the most free time you can while you have it. Again, avoid the sense of pushing like "oh man, I only have a week of summer vacation left oh geez what do I do?!" It's not a matter of sitting around and doing nothing all vacation only to hurt ourselves trying to be On 24/7 for a semester. That's not sustainable. Make the most out of your time, but make sure you have time carved out in between the high energy weeks of being productive. A sunflower without water can't stand and a bee without rest can't fly!

Pile 3. Clover Patch + Red Heart

XVII Star, XVI Tower, XV Devil; Progressions - Journey, Anger (Red), Waxing Crescent - Have Faith in Your Dream

"I gather more wisdom each day."

This pile … hoo boy. This would be my pile if I had to choose one, so I'm with y'all on this. Okay, I got the instant message that you are trying to manifest something very VERY big right now. I mean big like new car, apartment, longterm relationship, just something that's gonna upgrade and transform your life in a big way. It could even be education as one of the cards has a book in center. The thing is, Rome wasn't built in a day. Neither is your manifestation gonna instantly appear when you're desperately trying for it to cause desperation doesn't usually bring positive outcomes, it usually winds up with Fun With Dick and Jane type scenarios to play out. Also stress.

You have three major arcana cards in a row, with the tower card smacked right in the middle like a spicy sandwich cookie (would I even try one?) So I get it. This is likely a very significant full moon for you, supercharged as it's an Aquarian supermoon, and you got Aquarian Star as your first card, so emotions will be running a bit hot. Unpredictable swings. Sudden "bursts". But don't suppress your feelings of frustration, you'll just need to redirect these emotions differently.

You gotta be patient and watch it unfold organically. Even if you're manifesting the demolition of something, there is strategy to it. Demolition workers don't just go in and do what they please, they have to be mindful of their surroundings and what impact they'll make when they make it. When gardeners prune, they're mindful of the angle of the cut, knowing that the right cut can grow just as the wrong cut can infect. Let things go as they may. Things can start moving smoothly or quite abruptly, so focus from a place of expecting that it's already coming and strategize from there. You got the Star card, so something fortunate is indeed coming for you. There is a little Leprechaun luck on your side. It'll be easier to see that once you're able to move past old blockages that are delaying your manifestation. Listen to the leprechaun and not the little voice on the other shoulder telling you that you need to panic over the small things.

See the current time you have as a manifestation in itself, as a product of you believing that you need extra time to cook up the right end goal. See this time you have as a blessing, not just an in-between state. Make good use of this time. There is no reason why the process can't be as fun as the destination. Your inner child is being subtly asked to come out to play for a spell. This pile may be into doing witchcraft spells; if so, grab a little glitter and sprinkle some magic into your day, especially a time-based spell like a growing plant or burning a candle. If anything, it will boost morale which is often more important for manifestation than simply applying routine and logic to everything. I'm also getting that journaling may be of interest to you, whether it's writing down meditation notes or affirmations or just venting. Get creative even and write a poem about your wishes. Try to incorporate more writing in general into your moon magic. (Thoth would be pleased.)

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

#tarotblr #tarot community #tarot #general reading #pac #pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile #pick an image #psychic readings #intuitive reading #free tarot #tarot reading #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #tarot readings #pick a photo

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zukkaoru · 7 months ago

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ranpo and lucy. smile

my beloveds!! picking a random selection of emojis for each of them <3

ranpo

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood

he had chronic ear infections as a child!! to the point where he had to get ear tubes multiple times + eventually his adenoids removed as well in order to stop them. the first time he got an ear infection after fukuzawa took him in, he freaked out bc he didn't want to have another surgery in a new city with new doctors. luckily, it ended up just being a one-off situation where he got swimmer's ear

❤️‍🔥 A romantic headcanon

he has extremely questionable (see: bad) taste. he likes the type of guy who would kill him at the drop of a hat (kajii, chuuya, nikolai) or the type of guy who has tried to kill him (poe, chuuya) or the type of guy who refuses to be honest about their feelings (dazai, chuuya, nikolai) or the type of guy who treats him like a silly little science experiment (kajii, nikolai, dazai) or--

🦾 A disability headcanon

cane user ranpo,, i like the idea of him using a cane for balance-related issues so you will absolutely see him walking around without his cane just purposefully falling into people. he does this to kunikida when he's decided kunikida has been working for too long. he also just does it whenever he wants attention. he tries to do it to chuuya in the book but chuuya dodges on instinct and ranpo just. topples over. chuuya laughs and walks away and then comes back five minutes later like hey do you actually need help up. he didn't he was just pouting bc of all the people to successfully dodge him, he didn't think it would be chuuya

lucy

🦾 A disability headcanon

i just decided this literally yesterday but i'm giving lucy my unexplained back pain🤝 she can't really wear necklaces or purses or anything with thin straps for extended periods of time bc it irritates her back and makes it start stinging (imagine like a sunburn). when she first starts working at the cafe, the apron she has to wear really irritates it bc she works such long shifts but she does her best to power through until she ultimately wrecks any tolerance she had, making it so she can hardly go even an hour wearing any sort of necklace/purse/apron/even tanktops and bras before the pain is unbearable. for lucy, the issue is probably a result of the abuse she suffered growing up

🎶 A headcanon about music

i made a post about this the other day but. adding on: lucy gets to pick the music to play in the cafe whenever she's working (because she asked and the cafe manager was like yeah sure whatever) and i spent way too much time last night making her playlist. it's still a wip but i'm taking this as an excuse to share it anyway <3

🫂 A friendship headcanon

lucy and dazai friendship i need it need it SO BAD i think. i think chuuya and yosano have both been trying to get dazai to let them paint his nails and/or do his makeup for years but the first person he lets paint his nails is actually lucy. she has an arrangement of bright gaudy colors and dazai is like i want all of them and so she paints each of his nails a different color and she is forever smug that she convinced dazai by just offhandedly mentioning her nail polish collection meanwhile chuuya has been pestering him about it since they were fifteen

#ty for the ask!!!#i. love them #also lucy lets dazai have a tube of lip gloss she doesn't like anymore and he starts wearing it every day #he claims it's ironic but it's. it's not.#everyone at the ada just lets him talk #sorry this isn't about him he just took over my thoughts. as he is wont to do #lucy #ranpo edogawa #bsd #ask game #slava tag

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periodiccompletionist · 1 year ago

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50% of 118 is 59; 75% of 118 is 88.5; 90% of 118 is 106.2

Periodic Symbols are: H He Li Be B C N O F Ne Na Mg Al Si P S Cl Ar K Ca Sc Ti V Cr Mn Fe Co Ni Cu Zn Ga Ge As Se Br Kr Rb Sr Y Zr Nb Mo Tc Ru Rh Pd Ag Cd In Sn Sb Te I Xe Cs Ba La Hf Ta W Re Os Ir Pt Au Hg Tl Pb Bi Po At Rn Fr Ra Ac Rf Db Sg Bh Hs Mt Ds Rg Cn Nh Fl Mc Lv Ts Og Ce Pr Nd Pm Sm Eu Gd Tb Dy Ho Er Tm Yb Lu Th Pa U Np Pu Am Cm Bk Cf Es Fm Md No Lr

EDIT: As of November 14th 2023, I've decided to start keeping track of when a post does not include a single-letter element. Single-letter elements are, in order: H B C N O F P S K V Y I W U. These posts will be tagged with "missing single".

Spaces, capitalization, emojis, numbers, and punctuation will not be taken into account. For example, the term "lush🍃13garden" would still count for Mercury (Hg). Letters are the only thing that interrupt symbols.

Anything that isn't a tally is tagged with "not a tally", asks are tagged with "Arsenic Potassium Sulfur", and posts people tagged me in are tagged "Thanks for the tag!" (because "tag" and "tags" unfortunately can't be made with only elemental symbols. they could if we had G but we do not)

Some things to keep in mind:

I try to avoid any piece of moving media (video/gif) that has words in it of any kind. I'm already a transcriber as a job, and while I love it, I'm not gonna do it on my silly little side blog.

I usually don't analyze anything fandom-related, since nothing good can come from a fandom post leaving its circle. There are some exceptions I'll make, though.

I use a script to search for the symbols, but it can't read the words in images, so they have to be retyped into the script 100% manually. I'll most likely still do it, but just keep that in mind when sending in posts with lots of images.

I'll only analyze posts where it's very clear what order things are read in; charts, graphs, doodle pages, and other images with words all over the place won't be counted.

When it comes to URLs, I don't count them for the main tally unless they show up in a screenshot or as a tag somewhere in the thread; instead, the URLs of the users in the thread are listed out afterwards in their own separate tallies, with the elements listed in the order that they appear in the person's URL (this does not include URLs that only appear in screenshots/tags).

If you tag me in a post, I won't be counting anything that you added to the thread, though you will still be part of the secondary URL tally.

When I make a tally, I (usually) won't be adding my own comments, and on the occasions that I do, whatever is in my comment is not added to the final tally.

I tend to stray away from analyzing posts with other similar gimmick blogs already in them these days. This is because we all tend to influence each other's results- for example, if I analyzed a post where alphabetcompletionist tallied up all 26 letters, that would (potentially) artificially add Cd, Mn, and No to my tally. If I did end up doing this, I would be highlighting Cd, Mn, and No in a different color to denote that they would not have been there had I not reblogged from alphabetcompletionist directly.

My main account is not disclosed at this time; please do not try and find out what it is or I will block you. Another blog I run that is publicly known is @cantheykillmacbeth, if you just want to see more from me.

There might be times where I will accidentally reblog from someone other than the source of the post, or where I can't due to the source having been deactivated. If you go digging into the people that I reblog posts from, I am not responsible for what you see. If you blame me for what you saw from the people I happen to follow, then you shouldn't have gone looking in the first place. That's on you.

I will not be adding my gimmick to posts about serious topics. This is not because I do not care about these topics, but the exact opposite: I do not want the gimmick of this blog to be used to detract from anyone's message. These sorts of gimmicks are meant to add to the humor of a post, not act as a twisted punchline to a serious discussion. If you tag me in a serious post, you will be ignored (at best).

I don't care how you feel about gimmick blogs. I'm having fun and you can't change that. Seethe.

#pinned post

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deusvervewrites · 1 year ago

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Ah yes, how dare you imply that Batman is a mortal man with limits who can't do everything on his own and not an infallible god among men who can do whatever he puts his mind to through sheer willpower. [Insert eyeroll emoji here.]

Honestly, it's important to recall that, unlike Superman, All Might does not have any kind of "Kryptonite", so even if Superman is probably the stronger of the two (and that's a strong "probably"), Batman can't just put an anti-All Might rock in his utility belt and keep it on his person at all times. Like, Batman's only real hope in a 1v1 is to go for that injury, and even THEN that would only work AFTER All Might's clash with All for One. Plus, he'd have to either get close enough to hit All Might with a melee attack (a risky endeavor) or have good enough aim to hit his injury from a distance (and All Might could still just dodge).

Frankly, I can see Bruce Wayne just sitting in the Batcave, tearing his hair out trying to find a weakness to exploit and coming up blank. An evil All Might would be his worst nightmare!

(And that's not getting into how much of a headache Star & Stripe would give him. Evil/Brainwashed Star & Stripe would probably prompt "Mobilize Justice League and pray" as the contingency.)

Truly my crimes are as numerous as they are unforgivable.

Star at least has easier limits to find. While exploiting the Two Rule Limit is decently straightforward if you know about it going in, the contact restriction is probably the easiest to get around. And the Justice League have the added benefit of identity shenanigans which can help

#asks #batfam midoriya au

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tokillamockingbird427 · 1 year ago

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Rules. Please read if you're new here.

As obvious by my blog title my preferred name is Katar. I am an adult. My pronouns are whatever, but I do like He/Him and They/Them the most. I don't think it's very important but my orientation is Pan/Bi and my sexuality is on the ace spectrum. I am queer. I can be found on ao3 as "To_kill_a_mockingbird_427" and the same rules outlined here can be applied there.

I tried to make this as clear and concise as possible. Please respect them as respecting them is respecting me. These are very important to me. If you think a rule may need to be clarified, revised, or added, feel free to dm me or send an ask. I can edit this post.

It is a longish list, so I will add a "read more" since this is going to be my pinned for the foreseeable future.

#1 Do not be mean. Everyone play nice. That means everyone! This means me, you, my mutuals, and randoms who come to visit. If someone is being a dick I will do my best to take care of it. Respect one another.

#2 This is a MATURE blog. That means 16 and older. COD is a mature rated game, by default so is the fandom, and since my blog primarily revolves around COD Ghosts my blog is as well. This blog will not be appropriate for you if you are under 16.

#3 Under 18 but over 16. If you think you are going to interact with me regularly, or if you are, I ask that you come off of Anon/do not use Anon. I have a potty mouth. I am worried about upsetting you by saying something out of pocket.

#4 Regarding NSFW material. (In this context I mean the sexual kind.) I do not post NSFW often, but it does happen. For those older than 18, go ham you outlaws, do whatever. For those under 18 (But over 16, as outlined in #2.) I ask that you do not interact with with any NSFW material on this blog (Or anywhere else) and that you do not send asks/dms along the same lines.

#5 Beloved Anons. I love my anons as long as you follow the rules. Be nice, keep in mind you have to be over 16 to be here, and that you have to be over 18 to access NSFW "privileges." I can and will just block you if I feel like it. I can also turn off anon asks.

#6 Names for anons. Everyone has the chance to come up with their own sign off, whether that's an emoji, or a typed name. I use "[name] anon" and "beloved anon" to tag ask posts. (Sorting system.) If you ask for a name then I can give you one. Please do not use a sign off claimed by another person.

#7 Beloved Mutuals. It's fairly easy to become a mutual as long as you follow the rules, but it does require you to be off-anon. I can't make moots with someone I can't see. (Anon is like an invisibility spell; You can see me, I can't see you.)

#8 Questions. If you ever have a question, send an ask/dm. It's okay to be shy or anxious, but I promise I don't bite... Not unless you give me a reason. Like breaking one of the rules.

I can't think of more at the moment, but as said above I can add/edit rules if you send an ask/dm. Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you for following them.

#trying to be clear and short/simple as possible #i've gotten an ask kinda about my rules so I felt the need to make a post

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aaal-iz-well · 9 months ago

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Guyssss...

Okay, babe, deep breath.

Done?

Good.

Let's roll

WTF is happening? I swear to god a month ago I was checking this hashtag for updates like my life depended on it, and I had great plans for my wip's and everyone was making predictions about what the vault might contain.

Then I tell myself to start making some headway with my studies because exams are breathing down my neck and I (somehow) manage to keep away from this fandom that has been my life and blood for so long. AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOSE!!

Now we know that there are THREE books related to this fandom coming out this year and we might get Toby and Hannah and I'm so excited!

But there are two characters who have my undivided attention atm and I want to talk about them!

So now we have all the main characters, I'm so thrilled that Rohan is one of them because his story is so intriguing to me and it also adds to some much needed Indian or Pakistani (though most prob Indian) representation.

Just think about the kind of background he must have come from, let that blow your mind!

I know that he is going to have a real tragic backstory. Think something involving childhood abandonment or abuse or (most probably) separation from his loving family, coming to London, being faced with the HUGE cultural shock and the nail biting cold and relentless rain. Add to this: making sense of the weird accent. Being picked off the street to do some odd work for the Devil's Mercy. Slowly getting to know it's secrets and rising among its ranks till he reached Factotum. Falling for Zella (first love, maybe?), having his heart broken.

AND THEN HAVING HIS TITLE STRIPPED AT THE END!

CAN YOU FEEL THE BAD BLOOD ENERGY RISING?

'cause baby now we got bad blood...

I also believe that often things are not so one dimensional and that Zella is nothing short of deserving the position. She has undeniably had her struggles with gaining the power she now holds and being a woman of colour in a royal household. But I'm focusing of Rohan here, maybe I'll make a detailed post about Zella sometime later?

These are all only theories, but I can't help thinking that it's going to be something along these lines.

And then there's the fact that Jameson is not going to be a main character (*crying emoji cause I cant seem to insert one of the proper size*) Like he has so many unfinished threads and so much family drama to sort out.

We never got to see an independent confrontation of Ian over how he used Jameson to get what he wanted, or anything about the Prague mystery!!

And I know this might be a bit controversial with some of you, but I really want to see him and Avery fight. Because ofc they are a power couple and express their love to each other in such creative ways. BUT, but you get to know so much about a character when you see their world shifting, when the one thing that they believed to be an anchor is uprooted. How they act when the other is out of orbit. AND WE SIMPLY HAVEN'T SEEN THAT FOR JAMESON. I also might be holding out for a very hot romantic make up later on, but my point stands.

So there's my little (rather late) bit, but still.

Also to those who have read my work and have been so kind to shower me with kudos and comments, I want to apologise profusely. There is a lot to come, but just not at this moment when exams are leeching the life out of me, and trust me when I say I have the most elaborate plans for the future!

Like always, can't wait to hear all your brilliant thoughts. Have a good day/night (depending on whatever time zone you guys are in)

Also please check out Lockwood and Co if you have the time because it's something that I can't stop thinking about and would love to talk about. As an added bonus, one of the mc is kinda like Jameson (and that's how you know I have a type)

#the inheritance games #Rohan #factotum #duchess zella #ofc there's jameson #jameson winchester hawthorne #averyjameson #avery grambs #the prague mystery #the grandest game #mystery reveal #upset over jameson not being one of the mc's #jennifer lynn barnes #duel amongst #games untold #lockwood and co

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evildoombringer · 2 months ago

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hi nakamura (i'm. not entirely sure which name you prefer to go by,,)

i. don't really know, personally, the depths of hurt that came from min leaving can't claim either. to understand what your going through right now

you both seem really close. it was always funny, to read ur asks that you'd send i remember reading the "happy morning" one you sent and it had like this image of a smiling kid for some reason, for like a solid 5 months i just thought "oh cool, so that's what they look like:0" before i looked back and thought, "huh wait. they always added (very funny, mind you) meme/pics to their asks. was that pic a meme too-?" and only then did i realize lmao

looking back on his responses, i can almost hear the amused tone or, however min would react. lol it was nice to see him talking to people who cared about him

im. not really sure what to say, without coming off as like.. pretentious.? but. if i can just assume for one second, from the asks they'd answer of yours, to everything i hear about min from all the people who know him, i. i. assume he really cared for you, and. i assume you cared for him as much.,

i dont. know your situation, at all. min had. already made up his mind when i even found his blog. so, just. i hope you'll be able to make a decision, you'll be. happy with

the future could get better. it could get worse i can't really see which one it'll be. i don't understand how close you and min were, at all but know. you arent alone im not sure, if you need to. understand or know someone to be there for them,but from the looks of it, min was. never really alone if he had you. so,i hope you also know your not alone there'are people here for you

im sorry. this is probably, meaningless to you in hindsight i just. yeah. in the end, whatever you choose is your decision but. your not alone im sorry if this comes off as assuming. please. feel free to ignore this ask, if it oversteps in anyway or is just uncomfortable. i know sometimes one might just want- to vent and let it all out and the to have that acknowledged or responsded to might be. uncomfortable i. hope i didnt come off that way

but .yeah,

nice to. meet you by thw way. O(∩w∩)O (im sorry the kaomoji is so out of place jhsjsh i just remembered that one ask u sent hh)

hi custard

it hurts that he's gone, obviously, and i just haven't been on Tumblr for a minute, so seeing everything again is having a terrible effect on my psyche (ill live though haha). im just super weird about him and i realize that uhh nobody really knows that. but I'm super . . weird about him and uhhh yeah and um i regret everything lol

im surprised you thought i was a young chinese boy :sob: but. i understand how you could make that.... mistake.....

did you know the :smile: :sob: thing is a discord reference? :sob: is 😭 and :grimace: is 😬. if you're on a phone and u type the emoji out it should probably pop up, and the same thing happened on discord so he. um would do that when posting on Tumblr too out of habit, and i guess it eventually became a Min-Pal staple haha

and yeah he definitely cares about me, and im mad at him because he cares about me and left me his emails and shit to take care of and he did that because he knew im. weird and needed more than old messages and tumblr posts and i . m glad he did do all that and i love having some stuff to hold onto like his Spotify but. it's just upsetting i guess, since you know, id rather have him.

its really funny seeing how other people view him, to me, at least, i guess since i got to see not just him being bad-pathetic but him bad-bad in general (and I'm not going to explain further than this, as i, despite claiming to find it funny, am happier than not that he died with a t least a somewhat positive. Uh. Perception.)

idk I'm not like, a great persoj, and i did Just let him die instead of going to unimaginable lengths. and I regret that everyday, but he was so steadfast. he just didn't care anymore , and he had me to talk to but it was like he didn't care about trying (because once he decided he'd died, what really mattered past that?) Ssorry this is all so congested and contradictory and I make no sense

and, id love to believe you when you say stuff like "you're not alone" but it's terrible because I really am. like it's out of personal fault, but even the people I feel as though I could go to for help, I coukdnt bring myself to,, not when it's anything Too serious,, not to mention the fact I just got dumped because he said I was 'unhealthy' (after 10 months of reassuring me that its ok if I am cuz he'll help... but that's. A whole different thing and has nothing to do with min and I'm just bitter and bringing him up out of.... bitterness.)

and im glad u left the ask mikey i really am

idk it's just kinda sweet. now I feel more like angel and saki..... Auuuhhuhhh

i don't know what to do in any regard currently though so I think I'm just gonna continue mourning something that's been gone for a year now. Someone. and being bitter and upset, and reminiscing and trying his memory into music I like (and emailing my bf. [not considering him an ex] [email cuz he blocked my number] obsessively until he decides to take me back)

#custard boy

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vaguely-concerned · 9 months ago

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Evil Campaign/Zeblue Thoughts Extravaganza

This is a merry mishmash mess of reactions, transcriptions of some important scenes from the podcast, notes for my fics, and general happily unhinged ramblings about the Campaign: Star Wars Evil Campaign! Don't... don't look at the wordcount please

- blue definitely for sure would be dead a thousand times over if it weren't for zero but I also wish to point out that when blue was out for one night zero lost two arms and almost got annihilated by force lightning. blue is zero's emotional support little bitch boy and clearly his functioning without him goes down catastrophically

- blue's little holo-screen saver zero that goes 'I love you!' when it goes away and the fact that by the finale he's added a little holo-screen saver blue to keep him company, I'm just -- aaaaaah

between that and how earnestly giddy and glowing blue gets about how cool synox is as soon as he knows that synox can't hear him... zero I kind of get it. you're still bonkers for it of course but I do see where you're coming from I sort of want to stop him from getting thrown off any more roofs too even though he provably deserves it. No one who makes a little chibi Zero holo who says ‘I love you!’ when he’s just like bored is completely rotten all the way through, I agree with Zero there’s something in there that’s worth it

- can u believe that zero's first real appearance is leenik barely scratching his chest as if with a fingernail and then he just. chops leenik's hand clean off in one turn and moves on with his life. and he gives a shrug emoji about all the grievous bodily harm he's caused when blue tells him to stand down. He bombards blue’s inbox with cat memes. In his spare time he’s a DJ. He can crunch a man’s rib cage like a soda can with barely a flick of his wrist. He knows the tango. the perfect marriage of terrifying murdermachine and goofball

- "Zero, talk some sense into me or him" hfjdksafhsakjd obviously hilarious in itself but also... damn blue trusts zero SO MUCH

- Just me gathering some info together in one place: Zero bleeds blue, and whatever happened to him before he got his cybernetics was extensive enough that it left him on life support, so he originally turned this amount of cyborg more out of necessity than anything it sounds like. (From what they say about gank culture he probably had some modifications before that too, since Tubaik is notable for being the one person we know going ‘nah bro miss me with that shit’ completely.) He says something like ‘have you ever had to regrow a face?’ to Aava, and when there’s the whole ‘just because you can’t tell that she’s armed doesn’t necessarily mean she isn’t’ thing with the possessed Force lady he says something like ‘lost a limb last time I made an assumption like that’. He’s clearly got some Issues around it — warns Aava that ‘it isn’t pretty back there’ when she asks to see his face behind the helmet, the dark side mind reading pulls out ‘there’s no power that you possess with your broken body that could ever hope to save him’ from him. He’s 53% cybernetics, making him just barely more machine than man haha. His legs are at least partially cybernetic — he has them glutes and thighs Synox is checking out. Someone says something about an exoskeleton at one point, but I’m not sure how seriously we’re meant to take that, it might have been a joke. His first appearance in Campaign proper really emphasizes that he has one cybernetic eye, but it doesn’t really come up again once the character solidifies so *shrug* I suppose he might still have that going on behind the helmet screen. He has a math chip in his head and he regrets installing it because he hates math. I love him very much

At this point I’ve stopped trying to get actual Star Wars canon ganks to make sense and declared that as far as I’m concerned hashtag Kanan gank facts reign supreme. As such: Kat agrees on calling Tubaik ‘a fox-dog sort of person’ (and jesting comparisons are drawn to various Starfox characters lol). A little under six feet tall (most wolf/cat/dog species are GIANT, for no reason [transcriber’s note: it’s for the sake of blue and the furries]). Rangy, with a short muzzle. I think Zero is probably even a bit taller than Tubaik, since Blue is actually pretty tall and Zero is noticeably taller than him again, from the Vibes.

In short: Edge of the Empire ganks look cool as fuck in an edgy teenage guilty pleasure character design kind of way, canon Star Wars ganks look like absolute bow-legged dorks

- blue instinctively calling out for zero first thing after coming around from being stunned and zero reflexively asking blue if he's alright before being like 'wait wait why am I asking you that when the solarium's open to space and you’ve been standing here the whole time go help synox' fhsdfa

- (blue re: the story behind synox' butt tattoo lol) "Details? and will this story not make me cry, like the last one?" lmao oh that's... so cute to me somehow. Gather round for war story time with good old Uncle Synox (17) on the Bluebird.

- Hilarious that Blue and Aava are both like ‘hell, Synox, don’t be so down on yourself, you’re a catch!’ and Zero takes a hard stance of ‘he’s mid at best honestly sry :I’ fhdskjfa. Guess Zero goes more for twinks

- I am building out a lot of dramatic backstory for Zero in this that isn’t even hinted at anywhere in the original text, but I do think I’m backed up by the self-evident truth that anyone who’d fall in love with Blue already must have something deeply wrong with them

- Blue’s momentary sincere tired incredulity that Corvanus (Corvanas? Who knows) is trying to tell him they’re just buying food and medicine on Metalorn is so funny to me fhsjdfhas. Also the fact that he is SO ready to double-cross everyone immediately. Like no doubt in my mind that he would have fucked over corvanus too as soon as it became the least bit convenient to him, but he really does go and collude with a rebel in his very first arc because some guy kind of annoyed him and it might serve his interests. He’s been a minister for like. A month and a half at this point. Stunning. Splendid. No notes. He’s got the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair and it fills me with wonder and affection in equal measure.

- added bonus and new entry into the Blue Hypocrisy Hour gameshow: zero calls blue ‘kid’ not half an hour before they meet with the condescending rival minister and blue doesn’t even react. He really said ‘zero’s got roasting rights over me and you do not. The punishment is death btw make peace with whatever god you think will stoop to taking you in’

- ZERO HAVING BLUE’S LIFE SIGNS UP IN HIS HUD WHILE HE’S IN THE HOSPITAL AND CONSTANTLY CHECKING IT FOR REASSURANCE *insert elmo surrounded by flames gif here*

- The way Tyler makes Zero’s voice slightly higher and softer when he’s out of the helmet… emotional terrorism specifically directed upon me and my person

-“Where’s Blue? Is Blue okay?”

augh……………………………

- man I love aava. What an interesting character. Like the very idea of anyone taking Tamlin away from the Mynock crew makes my heart shatter into a thousand pieces but it is easy to see where she’s coming from.

- Blue twirls his hair around his finger when he gets bashful and Zero knows that………… omg

Also another testament to Blue’s ultimate character I think: he sends himself fake fanmail (lmao) superficially to praise himself and his work, but actually to ask Zero for reassurance that they’ll be together to the end and to tell him how important he is to him in just… the most bafflingly roundabout elaborate non-committal way fhdsja. Like yeah he is a raving egomaniac but under that is always ‘...but do you like. Like me?? We’re friends right???’. He doesn’t deserve it but I do kind of feel for him. imagine facing the mortifying ordeal and indignity of being twenty years old and the most pathetic person alive. Shudder. Glad that’s over with at least

- Say what you want about Blue but truly he is not a coward. He doesn’t even scream when Tryst shoots out his kneecap and in fact does not back it down with the attitude at all afterwards. Fhdskjafs he asks Tryst to carry him and makes him! (like yeah yeah we already know you’re gay blue). Literally too insufferable to be cowed. Isn’t the capacity of the human spirit spiked with caf and megalomania beautiful

- Commander Synox and the happy private world of ‘Pincer Maneuver :)’. I love him so incredibly much

- I want you to know that my insanity levels have reached the point that I’ve trawled fucking twitter for content. I’ve been using the search function on twitter. Yes I am desperate. Yes half of the posts are gone even aside from the awful format twitter already imposes. I have spent hours in the Musky muck for a scattered few nuggets of gold and it has been worth it but STILL entering a small fandom years later is a special kind of hell and I would not wish it on my worst enemy (this was written before musk went ahead and crashed the whole thing definitively into the iceberg early in June 2023 lmao. My point still stands tho. The things you do for love)

- Zero describing working directly for the empire as ‘ew, gross’ is so funny lmao. Okay buddy you keep desperately repressing your own complicity I understand why

- “Master? Thaaaat’s — I gotta tell you, that… Friend? Employer? Confidante? Drinking buddy? He’s, he’s a good guy. Uh…”

<3 <3 <3 also the way he immediately tries to walk it back with ‘it’s mostly professional istg’ and then by the end of the arc (so literal hours later) he gives it up as a bad job and just. Is so sweet and gay about it while aava is right there and can see it. The zero in agent zero stands for ‘no (0) chill whatsoever’. (also ‘confidante’ along with some of the dialogue they have when they’re alone in a scene implies some very sweet things about their relationship to me and I’m glad Zero has found this in his life even tho it does also mean being inextricably connected to one of the most exasperating people in the galaxy lol)

- Agent ‘yes he is incredibly annoying yes I would kill, die and live for him hope that helps’ Zero and Aava ‘it really doesn’t but good for you honey’ Arek; Ultimate Bros. They really became best bros after hanging out for one (admittedly mutually harrowing) day huh

- The fact that Blue and Zero coordinate their outfits and vehicles, including Zero’s arm…

- does zero eat ice cream through a straw. He must, right. These are the important questions. Hopefully he and blue figure their shit out asap so he can have his helmet off comfortably and experience eating ice cream with a spoon again at least in a private setting b/c that is Sad to me somehow

- “You just asked me to go to the gala with you, with documents that I forged, to show up another minister! What could possibly be more romantic than that?” and “I need a trophy husband!!” (Aava: “*genuinely bewildered* and why does that equate to a dress in your mind???”) *sniffle* I’m so used to giving and now I get to receive —

The fact that Blue apparently had that dress made to Zero’s measurements before he knew about the gala too is very… Blue Blue we need to talk, explain the strange workings of your mind here please some of the implications across this whole arc — mind boggling, flabberghasting, deranged in the most delightful way there is something so deeply wrong with this man (affectionate despite myself)

- there’s nothing that makes me clutch my face and weep like contemplating all the ways Synox and Bacta are actually very similar. And yet. And still. And here we are and these are the things we’ve done to each other brother. It’s such an interesting way to show off character, having two people with so many shared basic instincts (they are the nature’s Team Dad wet blankets (affectionate) of their respective crews lol) who make such different moral choices about it and end up in such different situations.

- “Love’s a bind. Feelings. Bind” fhdsakj oh zero. Also why did you think having a poetry book about this just casually on you would be less incriminating

- I have a big place in my heart for Aava/Synox. Knowledge of exact placement of buttcheek tattoo? Canonical fake dating backstory to work with? Aava will call him things like ‘babe’ and Mr. Synox ‘that’s not regulation ma’am’ doesn’t even lift an eyebrow? yes good excellent wonderful (tbh I also quite like tryst/aava and synox/that one art thief nemesis from the dear bluebird letter — campaign star wars is one of the extremely rare pieces of media where I’m mostly a multishipper. It’s only blue and zero who have got such a weird intense obsessive thing going on with each other that I can’t really see (or wish it upon lol) anyone else getting in on it on that level, other than that all combinations are pretty plausible to me and I can see this sea of queer disasterness freely intermingling haha. Thank u campaign for letting me taste the peace and equanimity it is to be a multishipper, I’m normally out there putting all my eggs in one emotion basket like a damn fool)

- It’s so funny that Zero just lets Blue decide the colours his arms come in. Big ‘happily letting his partner buy his underwear for him kinda man’ energy despite how stylish he is otherwise

- Synox may be the character that makes me laugh the most in all of Campaign. There’s just something about his dry nasal little straight man voice saying something awful that tickles me so very much. I love him utterly you all just don’t know him like I do listen —

- Synox: “I will say — I really admire the cybernetic thighs and, uh, and glutes that Zero —

Blue, vehemently agreeing just a little too quickly to not have given this A Lot of thought himself: “Sturdy.”

Synox: “-- that Zero has, yeah.”

Blue: “Sturdy.”

Zero: “Powerhouse.”

Synox: “Very firm and sturdy, able to withstand any sort of rocking on the ground or anything like that… Sometimes, in the heat of battle, I find myself admiring just how well those machines function.”

Zero: “...wait, are you checking me out in battle? I mean, that’s fine, but —”

Synox: “Just to make sure —”

Blue, darkly in the background: “No, he isn’t.”

Synox: “ — make sure your firm is standing… is standing tall and proper.”

Zero: “Why are you sweating so much?”

Synox, strangled: “Is it hot in here? Is it?”

Blue: “I’m only gonna say this once. Synox, back off.”

What a way to send the Evil Campaign off honestly

- Blue casually saying it took like 15 to 20 minutes for him to decide he wanted Zero around for life I’m just — Blue will literally say the most insanely sweet and romantic things solely and only when he’s not aware he’s doing it huh

- for someone whose blorbo love language is fondly dragging them I haven’t made fun of zero nearly enough in this but like… remember when his main objection to blue’s (patently insane) ‘we need to get a kid to pretend to be a perfect nuclear family for the cameras’ idea was ‘yeah I’ve got like nineteen hours to work with here blue I can’t make that happen for you’. That was where he decided the problem was with this. OK simp king

- Zero’s real and deep love for Blue truly comes out in the fact that after all these years he still insists on trying to teach him self defense on a regular basis. The boy’s a twig zero he’s more of a danger to himself than to anyone else and I refuse to believe he could even make it through a pushup. And yet I understand why you must at least try

- Blue going ballistic at the dude on Metalorn for calling him a kid while being like ‘well you know what difference of opinion here but fair enough I can respect that!’ at Synox aCTUALLY POINTING A FUCKING BLASTER AT HIM AND FIRING TWICE… blue I love you you are strange and unhinged and your priorities are rancid

- Credit where it’s due: Blue’s plan for taking over Phindar for the Empire is actually kind of clever; I wonder if that was something he’d planned for a while or if he came up with that one basically from the hospital bed? He has apparently been going to BHIKKE with Zero for years (even if he does nothing but complain the whole time, predictably, lol and Zero referring to him as ‘his date’ awww) so I can see how the idea could have been percolating in the back of his mind. Either way it’s not a lot of recovery time between the whole getting thrown off a roof thing and the broadcast he does. You get to see so many of his foibles and neuroses in the Evil campaign that it’s easy to forget he actually like. Succeeds at stuff quite frequently too lol Zero has such faith in him for a reason I guess. Did he reach his position by being insane??? (I mean yeah that too. Also Tarkin apparently just collects younger evil gays he’s going to throw in the trash and steal all the accomplishments of once it becomes convenient so that probably did something here. A Krennick is a coincidence, a Krennick and Blue is a pattern)

- Blue: “I’m not concerned with that position. What I am concerned about is personal goals. And that is something I have in spades. I don’t know what your personal goals are, Aava; that’s why I can’t connect with you. But I have goals, I have aspirations, I have things that I want to complete, and when I complete these things, it makes me whole.”

Aava: “And they don’t have to do with getting any sort of recognition from the Empire?”

Blue: [sounding faintly puzzled to be asked] “No.”

This is where my brainrot truly set in I think. ‘When I complete these things, it makes me whole’ and suddenly you understand so much more of what the fuck he’s doing and why it’s never going to work and I’m just — SCREAMING. You fool. You poor stupid idiot. For Zero’s sake if nothing else I wish you a very get well soon and get your priorities in order (tbf the dice stepped up on this one later in the arc I think there’s reason to hope)

- Raxus:“I can feel you. You are clever to have gotten this far. But I can feel your fear. Fear of death. But not yours — how noble. You fear the death of another.”

Zero: “I’m not — you’re not in my head.”

R: “The one you care for… you’re a very nurturing creature. You create these attachments very easily. Looking for a smaller, weaker thing to be the strong arm for.”

Z: “Get out of my head.”

R: “YES! Anger! Yes! That is what I want. Yes, your anger and your fear — hmm, it slakes the hunger of the Fanged God.”

Z: “You don’t know — you don’t know what you’re talking about, you don’t know me.”

R: “I know everything that I need to know about you. I have tasted the blood of the warrior you are many times before. So often do your feelings drive you to victory… but you face the Fanged God now. You’ll be a worthy sacrifice. And after our battle, I will find him, and I will strike him down. Know this: his death is fated. The Fanged God will taste his blood, and there’s no power that you possess with your broken body that could ever hope to save him.”

New ping to Aava: “Zero: Kriff. (transcriber’s note: lol) She sees me. Or she… feels me.”

+ (about Aava trying to save the possessed lady with a ritual instead of killing her) Zero: “We have two different objectives. She threatened Blue!”

So fucking sexy across the whole spectrum tbh. Emotionally dramatically psychologically sexually interpersonally narratively, this fucks. Zero is the ultimate service top and I support him so much. He’s A Very Nurturing Creature and he found this pathetic ginger trash racoon baby in a dumpster doing the knife cat meme; he never stood a chance. Also so kinky fhsadkfhsa he. Enjoys being wielded, does he. Goodness.

Aava saving Raxus from Zero’s righteous wrath only to have Synox swing in and shoot her dead right after is PEAK comedy and I’m so happy about it

- Aava and Zero teaming up to come up with brand new silly nicknames for Synox casually through a conversation is so blessed. Aava comes out with ‘Syclone’ at one point fhkdjfhask. Syguy. Syclopse, even.

- Transcript of The scene after the gala:

As Aava and Zero are having this conversation directly in front of Blue, Blue’s head just sorta sinks down again. And his whole body sinks down — he just drops to the ground, sits on his ass, puts his back to the bannister that’s behind him. Throws his cane off to the side.

B:“It’s been a mess of a night. It’s been a mess of a life. I — I came from, what some would say a lot, what some would say was very little, to, to make a name, and I’ve — I’ve made a name, I have made a name that I thought matters. But every time I come to one of these events, I’m the butt of the joke. I’m the butt of the joke before I get here, I’m the butt of the joke while I’m here, I’m the butt of the joke to my face; my friends who came with me — I’m the butt of the joke right in front of them. Right now… how am I supposed to function in that type of environment? How can any person deal with that level of stress? The only thing I am is what a success I am, and I am not actually a success. I’ve convinced one person in the entire Empire to give me a shot, and that was Grand Moff Tarkin; I have done one thing successful in my entire career, and — I sit in a room with people laughing at me.

Zero, you wanna go home? Go home. I pay for a bodyguard, not because I need a bodyguard, I pay for a bodyguard so you’ll be here. Aava?”

A: “Mhmm?”

B: “You’re an evil, evil space witch.”

A: “Morality is real relative, Blue. I take exception to ‘evil’, and I wish you wouldn’t use it.”

B: “And you have very annoying beliefs on philosophy. But you are one of the few people I trust in a deadly situation, and that’s why I asked you to be here.”

A: “...at a gala?”

B: “Does it get any more deadly?”

A: [crestfallen] “YES! Blue… yes.” She sinks down on her knees next to him. “These things aren’t that scary.”

B: “You can handle these things.”

A: “Yeah.”

B: “I — listen. I know you see me as a rock.”

Z: [Flatly & immediately] “No. No one sees you like that. You’re like…”

B: [:’( ] “Really?”

Z: “Yeah. You’re like… at best you’re wet sand. Like, you’re able to take a lot of different shapes, but —”

B: [interspersed] “These — these are the insults to — to my name and — I — very hurtful—”

Z: “ — but at any kind of, like, opposition — a water current, even a little bit of rain, and you start crumbling apart.”

A: “There’s a difference —”

B: “Knives to my heart right now.”

A: “ — a difference between an insult and an observation.”

Z: “Yeah…”

B: “Uh, I’m not, I’m not seeing the difference between the two in this particular instance.”

Z: “No, keep going, keep going, I feel like we got a bit, side tracked you with…”

B: “Yeah, you did, okay, where were we — you all see me as a rock.”

Z: “Nah. I gotta say — again… no, we should — ”

A: “You’re very shaky. As an individual.”

Z: “Yeah. Mhm.”

A: “Both physically and mentally.”

Z: “It’s real easy to get under your skin, and I feel like — like once, you do it one time and the whole week is ruined, and…”

B: “I’m a sensitive guy, that’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

Z: “Okay, okay, yeah — continue. Just, not a rock, but, uh, continue. [muttering all in one breath] Okay go ahead.”

B: “You all see me as a rock. But I’m actually a sensitive guy. Every now and then you can see glimpses through, to the true Blue. And I’m a little blue, sometimes. Events like this, I thought this would be — this would be my time. Could show up someone, could be Blue, I wouldn’t be…the guy being laughed at, wouldn’t be the kid. That’s what they call me in that room, you know it.”

A: [softly] “You’re pretty young.”

Z: [also more softly] “Yeah, man.”

B: “I don’t like being called a kid. I don’t like being treated like a kid. I don’t like being treated like the person who doesn’t belong in that room. Zero, did anyone think you didn’t belong in that room? Aava, did anyone think you didn’t belong in that room?”

A: “Probably.”

Z: “No.”

A: “You don’t know that.”

B: “I do know that!”

A: [sighs] “They also don’t believe Zero belongs there. Because, the thing is — he’s a bodyguard. And I’m an alien. And there are starting to become problems with being an alien. Are you not paying attention to what the Empire is doing, Blue?”

B: [slightly affronted] “I’m paying very close attention to what the Empire is doing. Yes, there are xenophobic people in here, but that’s not the large reach of the Empire. (tone implies a little bit of a …?)”

A: “It’s also what you are promoting. It’s what you’re creating.”

B: “Hm, you gotta do what they want you to do, to a degree.”

A: “Right, I’m not talking about that, I’m just saying that — that’s the increasingly predominant culture.”

B: “...do you think so?”

A: “Yes.”

B: “So you don’t feel like you belong here either?”

A: “No.”

B: “Zero, do you feel like you belong here?”

Z: “Aaah, I don’t belong here, and I don’t wanna be here.”

B: “Well, the ship doesn’t get back for another four hours. And if the three of us don’t belong in that room… why don’t we order some damn drinks and have our own little party here?”

Z: “I talked to the guy at the bar, uh, he says he’s gonna be breaking out the cherry mimosas soon. Maybe get a sneak peak at that guy, and… I don’t know, maybe see if we can get access to Jakar’s cruiser and… mess up the engine?”

A: “Yes! Yes!”

B: “I’m fully on board with this.”

A: “Yes! Yes!”

B: “Waiter! Three mimosas and the largest wrench you have!”

Ah yes here it is… ground zero for my all-encompassing insanity. Can u believe that the dramatic climax of the Evil Campaign as it ended up is just proving once and for all that Blue has a soul somewhere in there. It took a dice roll damn near close to divine intervention, but we got there. The Force is real and it ships Zeblue.

- the fact that the pivotal moment at the end of the evil campaign is blue rolling a fucking insight check on himself. Like that check was not about aava or zero b/c they’ve spelled their side of it out Very Clearly. That was just to find out if Blue has any idea about his own bullshit. He basically just obliviously speedran processing Some Shit about internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality in a frenzy and in the least graceful way imaginable and made it the problem of everyone he loves and that was the subtextual background theme, there was so much other stupid shit going on in the foreground the whole time as well. Wild. what a strange and beautiful world we live in. what a weird little dude (affectionate). Zero’s weird little dude. Also genuinely that conversation leading up to it was more stressful to me than 90% of all horror movies lol you do not need an action scene to keep me riveted you just have to offer up some prom night drama and I’m out here biting my nails. The fellow autistic ‘blue you are getting an F- in being a person something that is possible to achieve and normal to dread’ trauma response

- Zero (RIGHTFULLY!) being so hurt and mad at Blue and still just holding his caf and giving it to him after he’s finished his own… I’m sorry 0ni it’s love and it’s terminal

- Also Zero is extremely valid for being upset about all the shit Blue pulls in that arc but there is also the element of like… some of the lack of clarity in that relationship is on Zero too for taking the easy out of claiming he’s mostly in it for the paycheck again and again. Like for god’s sake don’t let the little trash man off the hook for any of the nonsense that just went down but you have also not been communicating what you want from this, and he is actually doing his best to provide you with the stuff you have told him you want. He’s SO interpersonally stupid and you know this, you know him, he is not going to miraculously sprout the ability to intuit your deepest hopes and dreams from nothing, especially when you specifically keep deflecting away from them fjhsdkjhfa you can’t both keep playing chicken forever

They clearly have a really intense and intimate connection and seemingly have from very early on (again blue says it took him fifteen minutes to know he wanted zero around for life so like jot that down I guess wtf), but the heavy romantic and sexual undertones to their relationship (at least in any mutual or realized way) are presumably quite a recent development — Blue met and hired Zero when he was 14/15 and from the Vibes I’d say Zero is probably about a decade older (ETA: checked the wiki and campaign twitter and that does indeed seem to be right); he seems to have had a pretty storied career and a huge life-changing injury he’d cyborged himself through already. So for the first time Zero knew him, Blue was a kid, and you can absolutely see traces of that in how they interact sometimes. Not quite parental or older brother territory, but certainly a sort of nurturing caretaking thing that makes a lot of sense once you know Zero was around for Blue’s most undignified teenage years and probably is the only reason he survived them because you know he was pissing so many people off left and right haha.

In the Metalorn arc especially we repeatedly see Blue turning to Zero for guidance more like you would from a guardian than a bodyguard or employee or even a friend. (See: the “Awww but I wanted to rampage :(“/”We’ll go out and rampage some other day, buddy, does that sound okay?” convo especially haha but that same vibe pops up in lots of places. Actually taking the advice Zero gives is another thing entirely of course.) There’s also his complete conviction in Zero’s abilities that edges on the touchingly naive — “You’re Zero!”, like more than anything that’s got an edge to it of the utter faith a small kid has that their parent can do anything, because they always fix things.

We never hear anything about Blue’s parents and he certainly seems to be completely in control of his own estate and money, so my assumption is that they’re probably dead? My personal headcanon is that he hired Zero because his parents died (read: were politically assassinated) and wanted both security and revenge, but even aside from that I think we can read from his entire *gestures vaguely* deal that there was some deeply lacking parenting going on from the beginning haha I think I said somewhere before that if any character has ever had My Parents Never Loved Me energy it’s Blue.

And then you get to the place in the timeline where the actual podcast runs, where Blue is a grown man now, and they’re much closer to actually being equals in some ways and it’s opened ahem some new doors, but also the seesaw of their dynamic haven’t quite settled into that balance yet (and has some real hurdles they need to clear re: the employer/employee aspect of it all as well, messy power balances all around here) and it’s a bit of a Struggle, which is some of the subtextual throughline I’m seeing through their whole arc.

So while of course part of the imbalance in their relationship is that Blue is Zero’s employer, and also wields power politically in ways Zero doesn’t (and couldn’t, because of the anti-alien policies of the Empire) and also is awful in his own strange special little ways that must be pretty hard to live with lol, there’s also all this other stuff, like the age gap where Zero is older, more experienced and capable out in the world and in relationships (also more psychologically stable in general but that’s damning with faint praise I suppose), and that their relationship must have shifted in some key ways quite recently as Blue is growing into adulthood. It’s so weird and messy and interesting at the same time that it’s oddly comforting and domestic and incredibly mutually tender-hungry and I am obsessed with it. Most of my writing energy has probably gone into picking apart ‘...so why doesn’t this feel creepy’

- Sort of adjacent but also fascinated by how, to Zero, Blue seems to be some insane combination of ward and liege lord (as a public thing much much more so than a private one I think but no matter what it seems deeply kinky haha) and friend and boss and brother and purpose and partner and someone he’s clearly grown to desperately want to kiss in recent years despite the warning signs etc. What if you were one of the coolest guys in the galaxy and you met a terrible little nerd guy who gives your life meaning. Zero having such a drive towards being something to someone. He likes being the right hand, the sword, and what does mutuality look like here. It’s a delicious sort of equal partners/conspirators and fealty dynamic going on it’s very interesting

- Zero’s priorities are hilarious and wonderful to me honestly. Working, however indirectly, for an Empire that is, for sure, very eager to eradicate him and people like him eventually? Mild unease and distaste at worst, eh, it’s a living, in this economy what can you do, I go where he goes. Blue not paying attention to him for 24 hours? Meltdown. Personal and spiritual crisis. I cannot live or thrive under these conditions.

- is it logistically likely that Blue has never seen Zero’s face under the helmet before? Probably not, honestly, it’s been like six to seven years and presumably he must at least have done research on Zero to have hired him in the first place. Is it thematically delicious if he hasn’t but some day soon will? Yes. And that trumps everything else lol

- The fact that the Bluebird crew have karaoke nights and ice cream Sundays. And Synox is being so brave about it.

- Blue going “We are in public!” to Zero. married vibes. Also the choice of calling the hired killer he employs ‘pretty’ while he’s moving him around (which Zero must be partially letting him do because he would need to tense one (1) muscle to resist all the force Blue is physically capable of extending). Many thoughts.

- What if Blue’s family was like… nouveau riche though. What if the wealth happened in the generation of his grandparents at most and it was based in some sort of ingenious patent in agricultural engineering or whatever because they were farmers originally. Genuinely groundbreaking stuff in that field that increased agricultural yields across the galaxy (or some significant amount of biomes, at least) and everything, but hardly something to build a political career on in the Empire. Making sense of how completely disdainful Blue gets at the idea of being a farmer because Blue is nothing if not a complete hypocrite lol

This also makes some sense out of him having both seemingly unlimited funds but also a mountain-sized chip on his shoulder to me haha. He never denies that the credits sure do help kickstart a career, but at least in his mind (BIG YMMV disclaimer on the actual facts of the situation of course lol) he’s also starting from a disadvantageous situation in other ways. He says: ‘I came from what some would say was a lot, what some would say was very little, to make a name’ (implying the name has not ‘been made’ before him, despite the embarrassment of resources his family clearly has had at their disposal?). Having him be from a non-warrior clan in Mandalorian culture and/or an established family who’d fallen entirely out of relevancy until very recently is my solution but also it’s fun that as short as this campaign is there’s enough great Stuff in it to make for this amount of theorizing haha.

ETA: so I scoured the campaign twitter back to 2016 (*gentle sobs are heard in the background*) and apparently Blue’s parents were pacifists and (from what I could read out of it) probably connected to Satine’s system/new nobility! This matches up pretty well with what I’m going for already so that’s nice

- Commander ‘Overprotective Dad’ Synox sending a whole little squad of stormtroopers for Aava and Zero after their speeder blows up……………

- zeblue is just…

Zero: *sigh* I want to fuck him so bad it makes me look silly😔

Blue, heartbroken and jealous: WHO??? Who is this mystery man I must kill I mean vet before you kiss him

Aava: you do look very silly but unfortunately I am in no position to judge

- Synox sending Blue reading material about traditional Mandalorian warrior culture because it’s Their Heritage and Blue being like ‘lol. Lmao.’ and not reading a word of it is sooooo… listen their dynamic has Layers. There’s some Stuff going on here. It’s Mandalorian fuckery all the way down. Blue is Mandalorian and fits much better in the mold Satine tried to fit the culture into, but he uses that to dedicate all his time and energy to presenting Synox, who’s in that weird liminal space of Mandalorianness of all clones what with their training and origins, as a new modern soldier’s ideal for the Empire but shorn of all distinctness or cultural specificity and that’s the thing they make together for the Empire. There’s that disdain in Blue’s view of the culture he comes from, and yet he has such a good eye for the appeal of elements of it in Synox (and also a lot of stuff about the presentation of masculinity in here haha. Blue has a Fine Eye for it. Who knows why. Could be no reason at all. Who’s to say)

Also probably not something to read into but from Synox’ comments, Blue’s music sounds notably non-Coruscanti (what it does sound like, presumably, is ‘a fucking cacophony’)

- Zero and Blue audibly high fiving in the background when Zero gets the ‘I’d never betray you’ right on the second try fsdfjad ah Friendship

- “why do you need a bodyguard?”

“Look at me!”

Amazing self-own from blue outta nowhere jfsjda

- gentle reminder that after talking to jacinto reth, blue spends the rest of the metalorn arc absolutely drenched in caf. He does his little sales pitch to corvanus presumably covered in duracrete dust and definitely caf. The fact that it almost kinda worked is a miracle basically I guess people are just taken aback by being talked at loudly and confidently by a dude who looks like he’s barely out of middle school

- Zero drawling “You’re just so wildly efficient” on his and Blue’s private line is extremely… it’s very…. Several points in this first episode where you’re just like ‘HOW! HOW are they not already fucking’ lol. (To which the answer seems to be: Probably because Blue does not seem entirely clear on what sex is yet. Man the BDSM Dear Bluebird sure was a ride but it also explains so much) He’s just talking about how he’s going to get paid to watch Blue smile. Keep it in your pants Agent Zero you’re in Louphan’s office fhdsjkah

- “Zero, just — honestly. Did I act unprofessionally or rash in this situation?”

(sounding slightly defeated) “We didn’t act any differently than we normally do. It’s just that —”

Why is this so funny to me. So that really is just how they’ve been rolling through the galaxy is it. This is just how they live.

- The immediate shift in tone between Zero and Blue once Synox leaves the room so they’re in private and Zero freely freaking out is everything to me fhdsjakfhas it’s so… domestic. Like they’re both putting up public fronts for Synox and then collapsing into unvarnished intimate back and forth chaos the moment they’re alone.

Z: “HE DIDN’T MOVE AT ALL!”

B: [giddy]: “I know, it was really badass!”

Z: [indignant] “What, are you kidding me, are you on the droid’s side??”

B: [still equally giddy] “Well, clearly I’m not!”

I think Blue just gets off on seeing Zero do cool stuff honestly lol

- Zero, turning to Synox: “If you draw a gun on him again, you lose that hand” SO sexy. Oh to have someone who will back you unconditionally even when you are 100% for sure the problem in this situation hahaha. Oh to feel that ride or die certainty for someone. Oh to be that utterly selfish.

- I am making But if you saw him when he isn’t putting on that front… it’s worth it. Somehow do so much work in this fic I am taking so many things on faith but also I think I am right to. Zero might be besotted but he’s also not a fool, if Blue was genuinely a nightmare to deal with interpersonally (like one on one) most of the time I don’t think he would have stuck it out this long haha. Considering that the minister posting is a relatively new development I could see all that stress exacerbating what was already a less than pleasant/stable personality at the outset

- relistening to campaign from the beginning and getting to zero’s introduction scene again is such a ride. The first time around you’re just sitting there in ‘uh-oh leenik!!!!’ dread and then the second time my reaction was ‘AW LOOK IT’S MY GOOD GOOD FRIEND AGENT ZERO :D OMG HI’ as he walks away drenched in blood fhsakjd

His BIG SIGH at blue talking to him over comms and telling him to stand down… there’s a little bit of early appearance weirdness going on with him in the beginning (like his weird growly voice hfsjkda) but that is pitch perfect. That is spiritually correct for him.

- Zero (breaking Aava off during a Dear Bluebird where a Sith-adjacent sort of person is asking what to do with their murderous underling): “You give ‘em something to do, keep their hands busy. But also, you gotta think about why this person is insisting to kill so many people. Is he trying to impress you? Is he going after some attention you’re otherwise not giving him? These are all things that can feed into outlashing — acting out, taking out your aggression on something else. Whether that be meaningless tasks, or the blood of another species.”

Aava: “Absolutely! It’s a master/student relationship, and if you’re not being an adequate master to this person, then to my mind they have full right to rebel.”

Zero: “They gotta get satisfied some way.” [transcriber’s note: GOTTA GET SATISFIED SOME WAY that’s how you chose to phrase it is it? I was willing to let ‘Is he trying to impress you? Is he going after some attention you’re not giving him?’ go, but ZERO!!! BUDDY!!!!!]

Blue: “...Zero, do we need to — do we need to have a conversation? You’ve flipped the last three Scrabble boards, and now, based on, on your answer — you okay? You getting everything? Do we need to do Sunday night ice cream again? What’s going on with you, buddy? Huh?”

Zero: “Sometimes, the Bluebird isn’t as big as you think. And I just kind of want to stretch out, and there’s so many training sessions going on all the time, and everyone’s stuck to such a very strict regimen, and there’s only so many places where you can get alone time, and then you installed the morning announcements, and I don’t wake up when you wake up. And you wake up before anybody ever should wake up.”

Rare Synox and Blue bonding over being the most sleepless bitches on this ship by design lol. Listen blue I’ll believe that synox is just built different but you’re going to have a heart attack before you reach thirty pls sort this out I don’t want to see zero be a widower

- Lore note: Zero does not like Scrabble fhdskjfhas. Space Scrabble, presumably. Sprabble.

- both zero and blue noticing synox getting triggered by seeing a battle droid in the metalorn arc and stopping what they’re doing to check in with him is. Kind of sweet actually

- today I found out that the guiness world record for an ensemble of stringed instruments is 1021 people playing at the same time. so I think blue was actually being admirably restrained and everyone owes him a big apology (I jest(er) of course no one should ever apologize to blue for anything)

- B: “I think that’s something we can all agree with. Right, Aava?”

A: “Why are you looking at me?”

B: “I’m looking at you because I don’t think you support this.”

A: “Stop.”

B: [Suspicious/incredulous] “Hmm.”

A: “Look at Zero.”

B: “I’m not gonna look at Zero.”

A: “You like looking at Zero.”

B: “I do like looking at Zero. I’m gonna glance over there, but I’m coming right back.”

Z: [ :) ] “Hi.”

B: “‘Sup. [Beat] Aava, you need to answer the question.”

A: [Innocently] “What was the question?”

B: [Clearly derailed from one quick peek Zero-ward, laughing] “I’m… not really sure.”

What a GIFT, best setup of all time followed by slam dunk no notes

- “You just said we need a heads result, I give you a heads result!” Love, Blue style. He will rig a coin flip to let you kill someone you really wanted to kill

- Synox going “Zero doesn’t have any rank, it wouldn’t matter if we killed him” in the background is so underestimated both in terms of hilarity and awfulness fhsdja

- Zero’s very carefully neutral statement about Blue’s fashion sense pre-jester reveal that “You are definitely the one of us wearing the most layers” fasdkjha

- I’m going to take Zero’s after-gala ‘where are they now’ segment as definitive proof he and Blue worked it out very quickly after that night. Your honor, I summon the panini metaphor for making love (notably not having sex. Making love.) from the Dear Mynock in episode 70 as evidence for my case, and now I shall rest it safe in the knowledge that at least spiritually I am Right thank you and good night.

He made a panini. It was good :) good for him <3

- Z: “Blue and You! Write that down!” haha awww he sounds so genuinely excited! Maybe one day when their relationship could stand up to this utmost challenge they could be a musical duo (orchestral string music and edm/house would be. It would be something as a combination.)

- Dear Bluebirds outside of Evil Campaign:

Episode 60

Episode 73 (fashion one, jester supremacy. If you haven’t seen this animatic of that one before, please give yourself a treat and do so now, it’s one of my favorite things in the whole world)

Episode 79 (Phindar takeover)

Episode 83 (it’s the BDSM one fjsadkl)

- Basically I think what I’m trying to say is that the Bluebird crew are a group of very bad people whose sole saving grace and hope for salvation from themselves is that they love each other. And I wrote a lot of words about that and had a lot of feelings. Thank you to the Campaign podcast for getting me through 2023, I'm very grateful.

#campaign star wars #evil campaign #zeblue #agent zero #minister blue #aava arek #commander synox #listen. I often say I am on my bullshit but rarely have I been so completely and all on my lonesomely on my bullshit as this #meta #in the very loosest sense at least there are some actual thoughts inbetween all the key smashing and dunking on blue (affectionate)#this has been my emotional support google doc for almost a year now I'm almost sad to see it go haha #my heart is in these very silly words

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