#i can't say it
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"i feel like i could eat the world raw."
#also smth smth about a line from one of the happiest moments of achilles' life paralleling a line from the saddest moment of his life#'i feel like i could eat the world raw' and 'i will kill you and eat you raw'#damn . achill#i can't say it#i was gonna make a joke . about raw things . yknow#sorry sorry . i've been up for longer than usual . please don't mind me#tsoa#the song of achilles#greek mythology#achilles#patroclus#patrochilles#i hope the ancient greeks are proud that some 18 year old queer some thousands of years later is drawing fanart of their guys#I KEEP ALMOST FORGETTING MY NORMAL ART TAGS .#my art#digital art#fanart#tsoa fanart#patrochilles fanart#AND FINALLY . if anyone sees this PLEAAAASE ignore my shit handwriting
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lord give me the strength to ----- ------- ----- ------ --------- -- --
#i can't say it#if i manage to resist it'll be huge character development for me#but god its gonna be hard
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If I knew why every couple of years it becomes almost impossible for me to just communicate with people...
#...I guess I'd be a significant distance toward a much more healthy mental life#wouldn't that be nice hmm?#every day this week I've said to myself#'today will be the day to start again'#...every day I've lied to myself#if at any point over the last two months I have said#or 'said' (as in messaged)#a single word to you#shared a single post with you#sent you a single emoji#I love you and you have a special place in my universe#because I braved the fiercest dragons of my mind to get that message out#I can't say it#but I can leave it here#and hopefully you see it#and if you've reached out#I'm so very sorry#but also thank you so very much and I love you#I wish I could respond like a normal human being#I wish I could take the hand#*sigh*#that's enough tag rambling for the night#it's already tomorrow#free floating anxiety
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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Jew here with a friendly reminder that:
Criticizing Isreal ≠ antisemetic
Supporting Palestine ≠ antisemitic
Believing in the Free Palestine cause ≠ antisemitic
BUT ALSO
A random ass Jew just living their life oceans away has nothing to do with the Isreal-Palestine conflict
Palestinian Jews exist
Jews that support Palestine exist (I am one of them)
Calling out ACTUAL antisemitism ≠ supporting Isreal
#can't believe i still have to say this#isreal#palestine#free palestine#isreal palestine conflict#jewish#jewblr#antisemitism tw
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still thinking about the brainrot that fast fashion has caused in people, like i made this pair of pants that are black and white with a cool flowery design, and an acquaintance saw them and said "wow i'd pay like 20 dollars for you to make me a pair" and i could barely think with how utterly horrified i was at that; i told them that 20 dollars wouldn't even cover the materials, let alone the hours of work that went into cutting, sewing, ironing, hemming, altering, etc. they just had this look on their face when i told them that, when i said i wouldn't make them a pair for even 100 dollars because that was still way too low of an amount, a look that said "you're crazy for thinking that those cost 100 dollars" and maybe i am crazy but holy shit, 20 dollars for a pair of handmade, durable, lined pants fitted specifically to your measurements? 20 dollars for upwards of 60 hours of work? 20 dollars for several yards of high-quality fabric, thread, and buttons? 20 dollars???
#i mean even fast fashion companies charge more than 20 dollars for their shitty sweatshop jeans with exposed seams and standardised sizes#but in this world my acquaintance thought it was appropriate to tell me that my skill and supplies and labour was worth 20 dollars at most#20 dollars is all i'm worth because apparently that is all that my skill and labour and time is worth#like i can't even begin to describe how blindly angry i was at my friend and at the world that made them say that#anyway
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
#spilled ink#warm up#“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol#btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can#run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her#but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like.#ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone!#like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate''#we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!
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nothing makes me go "ooooh we are NOT the same" quite like reading some post about how people talk with their parents about their interests. what do you mean you told your father about stevebucky. what do you mean he asked further questions
#i won a poetry contest years ago and not a single person in my family asked what it was about. you're an alien to me#not even saying this in a self pitying way i just can't conceive of a dynamic like that
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girlthing x girlthing
#did i steal this? no#has someone already posted this before? definitely#would put in bio but....#i can't say it#maidenless
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had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing
#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny#I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh#@ staff do this cowards#spy has thoughts#my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track#functional website#spy's smash hits#Glock function#edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped'#I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this#but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up#I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one
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his change in career has captivated me
bonus:
#dungeon meshi#mithrun#senshi#kabru#mickbell tomas#kuro#i saw a pic saying that mickbell and kuro also worked in a noodle shop post canon...#they could be working for mithrun but i think this is the funnier option#i love that for all three of them#the atmosphere would be so bad but the food is good if you like spicy food (mithrun doesn't notice how spicy it is)#laios would like it. '5 stars! i spent 2 hours in the bathroom after but made a new forest so it's ecologically friendly :D!'#one day kabru is going to sit mithrun down because he can't stand it anymore he HAS to at least change the interior decor#my post#art#millidrew#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#dunmeshi spoilers#mithrun's noodles. saga#success!#<- my biggest tumblr w i think
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listen I know it's heartbreaking that Claudia dies and it's understandable to wish she didn't, but let's please not accuse the writers of fridging her. to do so is a fundamental misunderstanding of the story and is frankly insulting to the intelligence and skill of the writers of the show.
Claudia's death, and the overwhelming grief and regret her parents experience because of it, is quite literally the point of the entire story. she dies because Anne's daughter Michele died of leukemia when she was five years old and there was nothing she or her husband could do to prevent it.
writing IWTV was how Anne coped with the unimaginable loss of a parent losing her child. she created a story about a little girl that could not die and then killed her anyway. Claudia's death is a senseless, unavoidable tragedy, just like Michele's was. the grief that haunts Louis and Lestat for the rest of their lives is the same grief that haunted Anne and her husband.
so when you're accusing people of killing Claudia off to benefit a story about two men, please remember that in real life sometimes parents lose their children. please remember Michele Rice.
she's the reason Claudia exists.
she's also the reason Claudia cannot be saved.
#interview with the vampire#claudia de lioncourt#iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#saw some rancid takes on twitter and i just can't not say something#like how do you encounter a story so clearly about the fathomless grief that comes with losing a child and blaming your partner and yoursel#and somehow finding a way to live again after years and years of suffering--not forgetting NEVER forgetting--but living and loving again#and go 'the writers just hate women. claudia should never have died'#like you're right that Claudia shouldn't have died. Michele shouldn't have died either.#but she did. and so Claudia did. and her parents will never stop grieving her.#iwtv spoilers
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tfw you realize the mortal you where planning on using and discarding, is a little unhinged actually, and matches your freak so you scrap that plan and start planning to rule the universe together
AKA bill realizes Ford "is just like him fr"
The page in The book of Bill that started this nonesense
commission info here
Transcript of text from the page of TBOB under the cut
Text reads: "Unfased, F has been making hot cocoa and welding rivets while playing christmas songs on the radio. (These songs make no sense. Why did Rudolph forgive his tormentors for their mockery of his facial deformity? He should have used his red-hot nose to burn his oppressor's workshop to the ground. A lesson to all!)"
#the book of bill#book of bill spoilers#bill cipher#stanford pines#ford pines#gravity falls#billford#when the interdimentional triangle demon is actually less feral than the human in the relationship#for shits and giggles i say#as i spend 4 hours making this#bill having his feelings realization while ford is snork mimimi-ing in the bg#i can't resist the italicized “oh” trope#just fyi keeping diaries and journal is valid af but look me in the eye and tell me bill wouldn't bully ford about it#my art#my fanart
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Macaque spent the whole season Big-Damn-Hero-ing and was NOT happy about it xD
#lmk season 5 spoilers#lmk spoilers#lmk season 5#lego monkie kid#lmk#macaque#liu'er mihou#six eared macaque#sun wukong#monkey king#qi xiaotian#mk#li jing#anyone else find it interesting that in english the 'macaque' part of his name comes first#but in chinese the 'six-ears' part comes first? so the way he's called by name in the different dubs has slightly different vibes#i can't quantify 'em tho :/ am not a vibeologist#Macaque was this season's biggest GOAT#like he's very petty about it but he cares about mk and swk SO. MUCH.#(well ok the petty is mostly aimed at swk)#which: fair#POV: everything is going to shit and you are currently the only celestial monkey NOT being re-traumatized or gaslight by celestial beings#macaque's gonna start rolling up to beach parties with a shirt that says:#I Saved The Monkey King's Arse Several Times And All I Got Was An Almost-Hand-Holding-Moment And This Stupid Shirt#MK NOOOOOOOOO#im a fucking wreck that's their KID. he's their BOY. their little BRO HE'S THEIR KID OKAY AND THEY LOVE HIM ENOUGH TO FISTFIGHT THE GODS#which i guess is a little easier since they can win those fights actually#not explicitly shadowpeach#but oh it is there. lurking. waiting to strike#lion king reference! :D
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"bluntly honest" autism but in the sense that i absolutely cannot refrain from complimenting strangers if i like their earrings or their shirt or i think they have a friendly-sounding laugh or i think their art is beautiful or i think the fic they wrote portrays the characters so well. "bluntly honest" doesn't have to mean "mean". i love to tell people things that are kind and also true.
#i literally can't stop myself#if i have a compliment about something i have to say it#the other person has to know#i'll happily take the risk of coming off as weird or too friendly#audrey talks sometimes#actually autistic#autism#autistic things#autistic experiences#autistic spectrum
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