#i can't even name a single thing about him that i love. this is not love.
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peterm4rker · 1 day ago
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(𐙚⋆.˚) ghost of you
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🕸🕷✮⋆ [taeyong x reader] ...୨♡୧... wc. 1.8k w. death, mention of drunk driving, grief, alcohol consumption, lmk if you find any more! angst ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ
hey siri! play "ghost of you" by the 5 seconds of summer
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january 27th, 2025 - 6:48pm
hey baby, i've been trying to reach you but i'm guessing you fell asleep... anyways, i have to go now, but i'll call you tomorrow, same time as always… i love you and i miss you more than i could even express. you’re my everything, remember that always… i’ll talk to you soon, okay? i'm dying to hear your voice… i love you so much, rest well my love.
january 28th, 2025 - 7:02am
yn? please answer me… your mom just called and i- this is some type of sick joke, isn't it? i refuse to believe it, i know you're just asleep, you’ll call me tomorrow, right? please, i just… i need to hear your voice again, i need to know you’re safe. i love you, baby, please be okay, please, please be okay.
january 29th, 2025 - 6:37pm
doyoung called me yesterday. uhm, when the phone rang i thought it was you for a second, i even saw your name on the screen… i guess not sleeping does that to a person. he told me he went to see your mom at your house and that he didn’t want to believe it either… we all love you so much, you know, and we miss you even though you’re barely gone... i’m going to my superipr’s office today, i need to go home to see you one last time… i love you, you’re forever my everything and i hope you know that.
january 30th, 2025 - 6:34pm
hey, baby. i got back home last night… everything is just the way you left it. i can still feel you here, i couldn’t even move to your side of the bed. there's a half drunk coffee cup on the table, it has your lipstick on it still… am i wrong for not wanting to wash it yet? i know it’s a little disgusting, but i can't get rid of it, not yet at least… anyways, i’m going to your brother’s house today to check up on him, your mom says he wont talk to anyone… i hope he’ll talk to me. i love you, baby, i miss you.
february 3rd, 2025 - 6:39pm
i dreamt of you last night, it was the first time i’ve gotten more than a single hour of sleep since you… since you left. you were there like you have been ever since i met you in that practice room so long ago. you remember that, right? when you dropped hyuck off and i spilled my soda on you? yeah, we were back there. you told me not to worry, that everything is fine. it felt different than it did before, though, because you were crying and holding my face like you do when you try to make things better… nothing is fine, yn. you’re gone, and a world without you simply cannot be anything but fucking awful. 
february 3rd, 2025 - 6:45pm
oh, and i forgot. i went to see hyuck but i didn’t get him to talk… he was on your childhood bed, the one with the pink covers… he hasn’t gotten out of your room for anything but the bathroom, so your parents are very worried. i’m gonna try to make it better, okay? i’ll help him because i know it’s destroying you to watch this from up there… i love you, always.
february 5th, 2025 - 6:33pm
hey, my love. i just got off the phone with my superior… he said i can stay home and we’ll issue when i can resume my service. i begged him to let me go back, you know… i need to be okay, i need to be busy so i don't think about you every second of every day; but he said i need to grieve in peace, so now i'm stuck here again. i’m staying with doyoung because every time i step foot at our house i feel like i’m dying inside, although i told him it’s because it’s closer to your parents, just in case they need me. i know he knows the truth, but i have to be strong, you know? they all lost you too. i love you, ill talk to you soon.
february 7th, 2025 - 3:56am
why did you have to leave me, yn? why did you decide to walk when you knew hyuck could take you to work? why on earth did you do that? i’m so mad, not only at you, but at everything. i’m mad because you shouldn’t have walked, i’m mad because some fucking asshole decided to drunk drive at five in the fucking afternoon. i’m mad because i wasn’t there… i should’ve been there to push you out of the way and then maybe it would be you sitting here at home feeling like nothing makes any sense anymore. you should be here, with me, dancing around the kitchen like we always did when we got drunk. now i’m dancing with a fucking ghost… i love you so much, but i’m so fucking mad at the world for making you leave me.
february 7th, 2025 - 6:47pm
hey angel… uhm, i’m sorry for this morning, i was really drunk and everything kind of came crashing down on me… i’m cleaning up right now because i left a mess when i came back. i shattered the coffee cup and your lipstick is gone, which made me cry like a fucking baby… i also found my old zeppelin shirt, the one you stole the first night you ever slept over. i remember you sent me a picture of you wearing it the day of the accident, it’s even my wallpaper still… but yeah, i miss you, baby, and i’m not mad at you.
february 20th, 2025 - 6:32pm
hi baby, sorry i haven’t reached out in so long, i’ve been busy trying to get my shit together… i talked to your brother today, i finally got him out of the house and we went to the park. we ate those coconut ice creams you liked so much and sat by fred the statue, hyuck cried the entire time. we talked about you, all the happy memories and how fucking funny you were, always cheering us up in our worst moments… we also talked about the big fight we had when he found out we were dating. remember that? he tried to fist fight me when he was 14 even though i was so much bigger than him. i guess he was right then, though. we were too young and dumb to know things like love. but I know better now, and i have loved you ever since the very first second i saw your pretty face.
march 17th, 2025 - 6:57pm
hello, baby, long time no see… i just got out of your memorial… your parents asked me to talk because neither of them can bring themselves to, so i did and i don't think i’ve ever looked as pathetic in my life… i can’t stop crying, even now that it’s long over… everyone was here, you know, even sion and them. i think you would’ve hated it, you always despised seeing people cry… i’m taking hyuck to our house tonight. he said he needs to be surrounded by you, so he’ll stay with me until we’re both better. you should see him now, how disarmed he is… it scares me a lot, what if i don’t do as good of a job at cheering him up as you would’ve? i mean, i can’t even get myself to stop feeling like i’m being crushed, how the fuck am i supposed to help him?... i don’t know, but i promise i’ll figure it out. i love you, ynnie, forever always.
april 27th, 2025 - 6:35pm
hey ynnie, i’m back here again… it’s been four months since you left, and i’m beginning to think it won’t get better. i thought i was, really, that’s why i stopped calling. but i went out with the guys today, and yuta broke down because he saw your name in his contacts… we all miss you so fucking much, yn. it feels like a huge part of life is missing without you by my side and it’s drowning me. i feel like i’m holding onto you like an anchor in the middle of the ocean, but i don’t want to let go… i don’t know how to. i miss you every single day; when i walk through the market, when i clean, when i watch tv. you’re fucking everywhere, and i don’t know how to appreciate that yet, it just makes me feel worse than i already do. still, it’s not your fault… nothing ever was and now nothing ever will be. i love you, just as much as i always have. 
may 16th, 2025 - 6:46pm
hey, my love. uhm, this will be the last message for a while, okay? i started going to the therapist, and he said it might be better for me to find another outlet than this one… i think he might be right, i don’t know what i’ll do the day this number gets reassigned… anyways, i wanted to let you know, even when i know you’re watching me from wherever you are. i love you, yn. i want you to know that even if you’re not here for me to tell you. i love you, i love you, i love you, i will never stop loving you.
january 27th, 2026 - 6:48pm
hey, ynnie… it’s been a while, huh? i know you’re probably scolding me from up there for calling this number again after so long, but i need you to understand me on this one. i don’t call with hopes that you’ll answer anymore, i gave up on that a long time ago… i found other ways to talk to you, and i’m sure you know that because i’ve seen the way your star flickers sometimes when i go talk to you every night. everything is better, as you know. haechan is back on his feet, he’s touring again with dream… he’s shining again, and i know it’s because you’re right by his side… your parents are better too, your dad is smiling again. everybody's learning how to live without you, even though we hate it so much… anyways, it’s very fitting that you sent that new dance coach today, she kind of reminds me of you. the boy’s said the same thing, too. still, she’s not you. and i know that’s not fair, no one could ever be you or even close… but still, it makes me miss you even more... dancing is starting to make me happy again, though my feet don't dance like they did with you... well, this turned into a pretty long message, i’m sorry for that, i’ll leave you to it and talk to you tonight, okay? i love you so much, rest well my love.
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★ blue's corner ;; hey... im sorry ! i wanted to start the year with something special, and taeyong is the answer to everything in my life... i'm also forever in love with 5sos and this song in particular so i hope you enjoyed !! ★ taglist ;; @neozon3nha @winwintea @spacejip @dudekiss3r @yizhrt @lyvhie @morkiee @astrasng @taroddori ★ back to the masterlist. ★ please do not copy, adapt or steal any of the content !!! ★ divider by @roseraris
© peterm4rker, 2025
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creamecafe · 1 day ago
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How Squid Game Season 1 Characters would react to Season 2 Characters
Kang Sae Byeok
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Thanos:
Hates him no questions asked
Player 196:
Hated her at first, but seeing you both dislike Thanos, she somewhat tolerates her behavior.
Lee Myung-Gi:
Also doesn't like him but tolerates him a bit
Kang Dae-Ho:
Tolerates him and likes being in his company.
Rolls his eyes when he brags about being in the Marines.
Gyeong-seok:
Doesn't talk to him much or pay attention to him
Has a soft spot/compassion hearing about his sick daughter
Hyun Ju:
Friends with her immediately
Defends her if anyone tries to misgender her
Yong-Sik
Wonders why a son and mom would ever join this game?
Geum-Ja:
Has a soft spot for her
Jung-Bae:
Doesn't know how he's always optimistic
Jun-Hee:
Would ask about the baby
Curses Myung Gi
Seon-Nyeo:
Finds her amusing and funny
Min-Su:
Soft spot for him
Nam-Gyu:
Hates him but not as much with Thanos
Se-Mi:
Best friends with her immediately right on the spot.
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Cho Sang Woo
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Thanos:
Wants nothing to do with him and thinks he's an absolute waste of time
Probably would team up with him at some point seeing how determined he is to betray others
Player 196:
Wants nothing to do with her either
Like literally nothing
Lee Myung-Gi:
Finds his YouTube channel pathetic
Kang Dae Ho:
Thinks that his marine story is bs
Gyeong-seok:
Nothing for him really
Hyun Ju:
Doesn't really care but wonders why she transitioned
Yong-Sik
Wonders why a son and mom would be in this game as Sae Byeok did
Geum-Ja:
Feels bad for her a bit as he believes she won't last long
Doesn't really care about her that much but also leaves her be
Jung-Bae:
Wonders why he's so happy like Ali
Jun-Hee:
Pretends to not care but has a soft spot because she's pregnant
Min-Su:
Doesn't care about him that much
Se-Mi:
Thinks she's a weird like Saw Byeok
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Ali Abdul
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Thanos:
Would ask Thanos why he dyed his hair purple and why he has tattoos
Confused on why his name is Thanos
Player 196:
Would think she's spoiled
They probably would be good friends
Lee Myung-Gi:
Probably be annoyed at him
Would feel bad that he gets bullied by Thanos
Kang Dae Ho
Those two would be good friends you can't tell me otherwise
Gyeong-seok:
Comfort him about his daughter
Would be his friend
Hyun Ju:
Becomes curious of her background
Yong-Sik:
Would be his friend
Be annoyed at him of how he treats his mom sometiems
Geum-Ja:
Would respect her so much
Excited about the things that she says she'll cook when they escape the game (WHICH THEY DID GUYS)
Jung-Bae:
Become his best friend and talk a lot
Jun-Hee:
Tell her about his baby son and comfort her
Always asking if she's okay
Would give her extra food
Be upset at Myung-Gi for telling her to get rid of the baby
Min-Su:
Same as Jung-Bae
Se-Mi:
Would compliment her lip piercing
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Ji-Yeong
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Thanos:
Thinks he's weird and a bit pathetic
Player 196:
Finds her amusing
Lee Myung-Gi:
Intrigued by how many people are mad at him about the crypto scam
Kang Dae Ho:
Thinks he's interesting and likes being around him
Gyeong-seok:
Would talk with him if she's bored
Asks about his daughter
Hyun Ju:
Loves her a lot
Would talk nonsense with her
Yong-Sik
Nothing much for him sorry
Geum-Ja:
Respects her
Smiles at the amount of food she says she'll cook when they get out (If I see a single comment that it's not true, I'm blocking you)
Jung-Bae:
Admires how smiling he is
Jun-Hee:
Asks if its a boy or girl
Min-Su:
Asks why he's so quiet even though she's the same
Se-Mi:
Friends immediately
Now Hyun Ju, Jun-Hee and her girlfriend are having Mojitos on Jeju island
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youcancallmeemma · 2 days ago
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Ya'll... I just watched the new Sonic movie (Sonic 3) and I have to say... I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Me ranting about it after the cut!!
SONIC 3 SPOILERS!!
1) Okay, so, first of all. The movie was amazing. I felt so giddy and excited when I was sitting in the movie theate, just waiting for the next thing to happen.
2) I had to hold back my tears when Tom got brutally punched by Shadow, mainly at hoe Sonic reacted at that... poor boy thought he lost another parent:( I didn't want to cry in front of of my brothers. (They would've bullied me bc they always do)
2) Maria was sososososo pretty!!! I really wished that we could've seen more of the sibling dynamic between her and Shadow, but I honestly loved the relationship they had.
4) My boy Tails should've had more screen time though...💔 Along with knuckles...💔 (I understand they already had enough going on in the movie, and I think if they did what I wanted, it probably would've made the movie uncomfortably cramped)
5) TAILS LOOKED SO CUTE WITH THE HELMET ON IN THE HELECOPTER ATVTHE BEGINNING OMG⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ I mentally agreed with Agent Stone when he said Tails was adorable, because he is.
6) Honestly, kinda wished Stone and Tails built up a friendship between them. Would've been fun to see them interact more! (Again, same thing I said earlier in nr.4)
7) I actually thought about this before seeing the movie. If I remembered correctly, the movie is based of Sonic adventure 2 (I believe) And Amy Rose was the one who comforted Shadow and got him to turn from evil to good? (I THINK. I SAW A PLAY THROUGH LIKE 10 YEARS AGO, DON'T YELL AT ME😭) So, I wondered how the would go about this. Honestly, the fact that Sonic comforted Shadow was a little odd to me, but what Sonic said was sweet. Since this is the movies we're talking about, it's on brand that Sonic was comforting him, since basically every single live action Sonic movie has him comforting SOMEBODY. Honestly, I liked it.
8) And... THE WAY MR. OLD REBOTNIC (can't remember name💔) GOT KILLED!?!?!? WHAT!?!? YOU'RE TELLING ME HE FOT STABBED IN THE BUTT BY A SUPER POWERED ALIEN HEDGEHOG QUIL, GOT LUNCHED UP, AND GOT INCINERATED BY A DAMN SHEILD!?!? Woah. Imagine telling other people how you died and someone says THIS to you??? My one brother quite literally looked at me like this when that happened: "😧" (my other brother laughed his arse off)
9) And the final message Robotnic gave Stone?? Omg, you can NOT tell me they didn't have SOMETHING going on over there....
10) Finally, the end credit scene... METAL SONIC AND AMY???? ARAGARAGATSGA!!!! Sigh, Why must I wait for the 4th movie to come out... 😔 (PLEASE GIVE REVERSE SONAMY IN THE NEW MOVJE OLEASE PLEASE PLEAS PLEASE PLEA) Also, when Amy revealed herself a little boy (who had a Sonic CAPE mind you) yelled out "IT'S AMY!!!" He might be a bigger fan then me chat... (I forgot my Tails plush 😔)
11) Fun mini fact about me, I'm not much of a Shadow fan (Don't come at me) so I've never been too interested in him. However, the movie got me much more interested in him, and Shadow is now up there with the others. (Also made me feel much more for the poor boy :<)
12) Overall, the movie was literally the best one I have seen in a WHILE. Even though the movie had a lot going on, I still felt immersed in the story the whole way through. Character development was was amazing, Sonic crashing out was SO COOL??? Tails and Knuckles trying to stop him was just as amazing. Tails looking like a scared kid while Sonic and Knuckles were disagreeing tugged SO HARD onto my heart strings💔 I really recommend the movie, it was a great watch. I do however recommend watching the first two movies before watching the third one.
PLEASE DONT COME AT ME!!!
I am simply a teenage girl who's a little obsessed with the STH franchise and movies.
Also, I am not a proper movie critic. Please don't take this stuff too seriously 🙏🙏 Like I said, I'm simply a teenage girl who likes Sonic.
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thehighlordishere · 2 days ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/thehighlordishere/748146137777815552/hi-can-i-request-acotar-yandere-bat-boys-x-male?source=share
Hello. If your requests are open. Can you make a female version of this request? (x fem reader)
Ofc!!
Yandere poly!Batboys x fem!reader
Summary: just headcanons of this prompt
-did you have money problems before? LOOK NO FURTHER, no hon you don't anymore
-rhsyand will gift you Velaris, just ask
-and prob three courts, anyway-
-SO
- when they found you, they were so excited
-finally, their mate
- IS you
-you met cassian for the first time "running" into him
- they had been following and learning about you for
MONTHS
-so hyped when they met you
- cassian and azriel already had a little thing going on, but when they find out you were a male, they were surprised at first but on board all the way
-Rhys felt the bond snap from his office from cassian and az
-I at first he was worried how it would work out between the four of you and two High Lords, he came to the conclusion that he doesn't give a shit, it's you
-Cassian out of all of them broke and needed to meet you
- you thought he was handsome and dedicated friendly
-you were single and kind of have been doing whatever recently so you said fuck it and went on a date, you felt this tug toward him anyway
- the date went well, you really liked this guy, he was funny, hot, and maybe even adorable when he kept nervously knocking his drink down-
-he explained why he suddenly asked you out and that you were their mate
- you paused when he said "our"
-he explained that you had three mates
- you were shocked in the moment, so you ended it rush-ly
-you were conflicted
- he let you be, not really and you started to see two similar males often
-while going to your hobbies with your group of friends or work, the two bodies of mass muscle became more and more common
- one day you got a past due notice, you made average pay, maybe even more, but you got caught up on recent things, you decided you would deal with it in the morning
-but when you awoke, you couldn't find your letter of notice, you called the main administrator and let them know that you need to pay and how much to cover it was
- but they told you that you already paid it in full, and in advance for following months
-??
- confused you called your friends, some didn't pick up but you assumed one of them did this or a kind worker here, you decided to pay them back late
-more things like that started occurring
- things you were interested in, were suddenly in your mail, flowers or gifts etc
-one day you go out and see Cassian
- the bond I happily thrumming at him being close
-he told you that he was sorry for sudden telling you and hoped you weren't too overwhelmed
and that the others wanted to see you
-nervous at first but you decided to go, they were your mates after all
- the tall one named Rhys said he paid your notice and az liked to gift you things
-az seemed more…shy?? Or just more quiet and observant
- you thanked them and agreed to start seeing them ignoring red signs of odd behavior
-before and after the dates or meet ups cassian loved to give you hugs, and Rhys loved to kiss your hand, on one knee
- at first you wondered if you started to bother az, but only you could notice the little things, the secret gifts, scooting his chair closer to yours thinking you can't see and touching your legs together, if you go to a club and set your drink down his shadows will cover it until he gets to it and holds it until he sees you
-as you started to get closer... your family and friends got farther. At first the boys wanted to meet them, especially Rhys, to impress them, but now you barley see them
-whenever you mentioned going out they came with or offered to go with you somewhere else
-a gym friend you had who over focuses on bulking up who likes to invite you over to workout out asked you about your love life, "have you found the right man yet?” He smirked, he had tried getting with you in the past but now would just flirt often, usually harmlessly
- you decided to tell him that you found your mates, he didn't have the best reaction
-he seemed startled enough but-three of them??
- to say the least, he said some pretty nasty things about you and the relationship
-you left feeling like shit
-cassian and Rhys came over feeling you emotions from the bond
-you felt embarrassed from being almost on the verge of tears, but he said to you, about you?
-the tears started to come and Cassian immediately got a hold of you and held you shushing and whispering to you
-helped you calm down
-Rhys used his powers and helped relax you, and softly rubbing your back, his voice replaced cassians
"YN darling, tell me what happened?"
- you tried to dodge the question but he wasn't having it ofc,
-so then azriel came in
- he immediately got down on his knee and used his hand to cup your jaw and made you turn it to him “tell us what happened?" He didn't use his favorite pet name as usual, aka "dear"
-you sniffled and Rhys decided that it was too much for you to think about and *politely* entered your mind as you soak up the attention Az was bathing you in
-Rhys shared the memory with the two others, seething
-as much as he wanted to go, he let az leave to take care of him
- cassian and Rhys carried you to bed, one at each side as you laid down, tears dried, and drained from the day
-cassian enveloped you from the back with his massive frame and Rhys in front of you, caressing your back and face
-when az returned, cassian was in deep sleep in his odd sleeping position and Rhys was barely awake watching over you
-Rhys switched with az, and left to finish off the “friend"
-az uses his shadows and helps cool you down and keep you content
——-
-basically, you won the jackpot
- if you even LOOK at something, it's yours
-off topic but, when you call out "babe" they all snap their head toward you, it’s kinda funny
- Rhys ofc calls you darling, Az likes dear, and cassian is cas, you have been called everything from him, but usually sweatheart
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dcdreamblog · 14 hours ago
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What are your top 5 favorite mystery men costumes?
Oh this one's a breezy little thing to work on over a Saturday evening. Let's see...
#5. Wesley Dodds, AKA the Sandman
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(From the Sandman's original official JSA portrait, 1940) This is an entry that writes itself. Wesley Dodds' original Sandman attire is overwrought in just how cool it is. A kind of pulp chic that makes it look like he stepped right off a yellowed detective novel page, the direct line drawn between the shadowy vigilante he once was and the superhero he became. One can only imagine how much thugs and gangsters back in the bootlegging days pissed their pants at the THOUGHT of him, much less the sight of him. I can appreciate his paternal and wholesome reasons for eventually changing said costume but there's a reason even his young ward echoed this look in the modern day.
#4. Greg Saunders AKA Vigilante
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(Vigilante's official All Star Squadron portrait, 1941)
Speaking of heroes who look like they jumped right out of the dime novel page, we can't forget the beloved Rider of the Purple Sage. Like a cowboy off the silver screen with the lasso skills, dead eye aim and cozy accent to match. He's the kind of man who can set a whole room at ease with the pluck of a guitar or silence a bar of lowlifes with the click of a hammer. Simplicity here is the name of the game.
#3. Alan Scott AKA Green Lantern.
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(A modern portrait of Scott, donated to this very museum)
If you asked me to sit back, close my eyes and ask me to create an image the exudes power, strength and majesty. Hell, ask 100 renowned artists to do it for a week and they wouldn't conjure the imagery in my mind that I associate with this man. There is a reason his contemporaries referred to him simply as "The Big Guy", the closer, the one who made everyone know it was gonna be alright. The billowing cape, the deep brow of the mask, chunky belt and boots that scream old fashioned tough guy. When the battlefield lit up green, the bad guys dove for cover.
#2. Kent Nelson AKA Dr. Fate
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(The museum's modern portrait of Nelson) Talking about majesty, you have a character that between his look and his voice convinces you that he's EXACTLY as powerful as he says he is. While the Helmet of Nabu might be a malicious entity in many respects, the ability that Fate's enemies look THEMSELVES in the eye against its polished surface before he blows them away is priceless. And I've never seen a single cape that looks better billowing in the wind. He's an arch mage, and he carries himself like one.
#1. Roy Lincoln AKA The Human Bomb
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(A colorized newsreel image of Lincoln, circa 1943) Where my loves of simplicity and majesty collide. The Human Bomb's outfit was almost mundane when he was actually wearing it back in the Golden Age and it gave the whole world one warning, if you're around me, something bad is about to happen. Heavy boots that make a loud thud with every step, a visor that shows glaring eyes from behind a thick, dark glass. He looks like a man who could flatten a block just from taking this many precautions. Roy Lincoln is one of my favorite mystery men period and his outfit is a big part of why.
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skyheld · 3 days ago
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"You can't blame yourself." from asharen to ameridan
ASKBOX MEME 059 / ARCANE S02E07-09 | selectively accepting | @mercysought
It's the second time he leaves a place where he was meant to die.
Stands up on shaking legs, brushes the dust of time off his clothes and picks through the remains of his old life for things he needs to keep. There isn't much left, now. He gave most things away when he joined clan Lavellan, to the few friends he has made in the last ten years, or to the clan itself. He had no need or interest then in riches or treasure. Only a few keepsakes.
Some people watch as he comes out of the aravel. The last few weeks as his strength waned he left is more and more rarely, and while many come to visit him, there are some faces he hasn't seen in all that time --- faces of those he was never close to, or who felt too uncomfortable to sit in a room with a dying person, seeing the way life left him a little bit more each week. When he steps out now with a small pack slung over his shoulder and the staff in his hand, he stands straighter than they've ever seen him. There's strength in his legs, carrying him down the landing, and in the hand that holds his staff. His eyes are unclouded, his lungs draw deep the air of the forest around them. But he doesn't look at those faces, even the ones he loved most dearly. He's afraid they'll turn away.
And anyway, how can he ask for them to look at him? How can he deserve a heartfelt farewell from these people when he failed them so utterly? They took him in so he would be safe, so he would know peace. He risked their lives, allowing a demon to possess him. He brought them war.
Thanks to that they live, but he isn't sure that matters.
"I do not blame myself", he tells Asharen as they meet below the aravel's deck. She sees through him, of course, sees the guilt clawing at him from the inside, but it isn't blame. "I did what I did to save them. Now I live with the consequences. I just wish... I wish there'd been another choice."
Hakkon looking out through his grey eyes, seeing the things he sees and adding his thoughts and emotions to Ameridan's mind, blurring them both. Hakkon coming to him that night when the clan was attacked, Hakkon's strength in his dying body, Hakkon tearing their enemies to shreds, laughing with Ameridan's voice but not his laugh, not his joy in the killing.
He wishes the others didn't have to see it. That they didn't have to look at him now and know that the one they called hahren and bestowed the name of their clan is an abomination. That his back is straight and his hands strong and that he stands in the sunlight again because something else is standing with him.
Ameridan Talvas Lavellan, he was for a while. But he cannot use that name anymore.
"We should be off", he says. A little further away, others are waiting for them to catch up. New faces, but they seem like good people. The one they call Rook has put together a capable group. Harding. He'll need to tell her too when they reach their sanctuary.
He's not sure if it's grief or shame that wells up and fill his eyes with tears, but he turns quickly, lowering his head to brush them away. He wanted to stay here. He didn't want to die, but he was ready to let it happen as he knew it would; he got the peace he always yearned for, and if it had to end, at least it would end in the best way possible. But now all that is different, and that peace is gone.
You are making this so much harder than it is. Hakkon has been quiet in his mind, and now that he speaks it sounds like mockery. And yet he is right in a way. Staying here, thinking about what he's walking away from makes the walking harder. He needs to just leave. Without another word he brushes past Asharen and joins the others, giving a single nod of his head when Rook asks if he's ready for the walk to the nearest eluvian, if those are all his things, is he is alright---
But before they've reached the edge of the camp, where signs of recent battle are still visible, blood drying brown in the grass where Hakkon's battleaxe tore throats and chests open, someone cries out behind them. A girl has escaped her parents' vigilant eyes and come running, calling his name.
Elirin. She's lost two front teeth since last he saw her. When he was strong enough to sit by the fire and tell stories, she'd ask for ones with Da'harel in them, then curl up with her head on his leg and pretend to be a very small wolf while he spoke. Now she wraps her arms around his legs and sobs into them until he manages to untangle himself from her grip so he can crouch down and hug her properly. Her parents wouldn't want him to. They'd worry about the demon. But he can't push her away, and he knows there is no danger.
She's holding a straw hat, like the ones the members of the clan make for themselves and to sell. At first he thinks she must have just been working on it when she saw him leave --- it's clearly her handiwork, childish and clumsy and therefor lovely --- but she presses it into his hands.
"Oh", he says, as his hands close round the brim. "Is it for me?"
She nods, her face set with determination.
There clearly is no fighting that. He would hurt her if he tried to decline. Blinking away more tears he takes the hat and puts it on --- it's a little large, probably not made for him to begin with, but it stays in place if he's careful. There are places where the straw sticks out and places where the woven pattern breaks. He loves it. One of the adult's perfectly crafted hats wouldn't have filled him with as much love as this one. "Thank you", he says, voice brittle. "That should keep me safe from the sun in Antiva."
Satisfied, Elirin turns to run back to her parents. Ameridan straightens up. The straw hat casts a shadow over his face until he turns back to the others, facing the sun.
Ameridan Talvas Lavellan. Maybe he keeps the name, at least for now.
"I'm ready", he says, and this time he feels it. "Let us go."
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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 2 months ago
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having twin peaks thoughts & theories bc i just started watching the return (i know spoilers ofc) and i have literally nowhere else to put my thoughts so i'm just gonna dump them here.
obviously i don't every single thing about twin peaks was meant to just be like... One Thing and that's it. i think there's room for interpretation for a reason butttt the one thing i just keep going back to about the show is just that. like. it's about the corruption of innocence and the perversion of family. of cycles of violence and abuse. children being sexually taken advantage of by "trusted" adults. teenage prostitution rings. barely a single relationship in the town wherein people aren't cheating on someone/cheated in the past. bob being "the evil that men do" (tbf this is technically just albert's theory but i choose to believe it) and now this weird thing with judy/the experiment (are they the same thing? idk yet) being the thing that CREATED bob? there's this weird thing i get with the black lodge/waiting room like... good people can't survive there without disappearing completely (nonexistence) or being permanently changed (in the case of annie, ig)
and then ofc you have the tormented souls being trapped there (laura, maddy, caroline(tbh idk what was going on w her doppelganger being there?), leland(he was originally a victim too, i'm getting there)) because of the things that were done TO them. i was thinking like. in regards to the frogmoth that crawled into sarah's mouth (when she was a child) and everything that's going on w/ her in the return (watching insanely violent things on tv, "eating" men, etc.) ... compounded with leland's story about bob "I was just a boy. I saw him in my dreams. He said he - he wanted to play. He opened me and I invited him and he came inside me." ... mr. c's introduction song being a twisted version of "american woman" (i've heard this is also related to diane's doppelganger, as well. makes sense) w/ the stand-out lyrics (aka the backwards ones) being "all my headstrong women... don't let em put you in a corner. make em salute you like a flag on the fourth of july." and sarah palmer having a shortened and remixed version of "good man" blaring in her house that just repeats the lyrics "i'm a good man. i'm having fun." like. there's smth to this i'm not insane...
anyways to go even FURTHER... there being specific emphasis on being in the right time and the right place. opposites (giant and dwarf, young and old, black and white, etc.) and the planets jupiter and saturn.
the experiment violently killing that couple that was watching the glass box bc they were having sex? or because they were(n't) watching? or both? the experiment very obviously being the thing inside of sarah but it pulling off it's own face within sarah and revealing a smile that looks eerily similar to laura's (even if not exact... ppl are such pedants about things being exact in this show where literally everything is drenched in like 8 metaphors at any given time) AND the laura in the black lodge/waiting room removing her own face in the exact same way. it's weird that in this instance, laura's dialectical opposite or opposing force is her own mother who she claims she has so much in common with. but this goes even a step further because when the experiment spawned in the glass box, it has a gold orb (or smth like it) like the one laura's like... spirit? was born from? AND APPARENTLY there's a little clip of what sounds like sheryl lee's voice saying "gone" or "the one" or something like that while the experiment is flying towards them (not unlike an owl) to kill them... hm. not to mention the experiment has a proboscis-like knife that comes out of its mouth that it uses to kill the guy sexually harrassing sarah at the bar... and carrie page has a dead guy in her motel room that has a hole in his head... could obviously def just be a bullet-wound LMAO but idk let's have fun w it!
i do think there's a crazy connection between sarah, laura, and the experiment/judy/whatever. "the room seems different... and men are coming. something happened to me. i don't feel good..." obviously, i will be able to make more connections and add to this theory as i watch more but from what i've seen i think there's a huge connection to children and how easily it is for them to be taken advantage of (literally every member of the palmer family was taken advantage of as a child when an evil entity entered them. i mean. how more on the nose can you be!!) or for their innocence to get stolen (prostitution, drugs, murder, becoming child brides to abusive older men... the list goes on). and there's obvious themes of intense sexual violence and dreams and blahhhh. it's like 5:30am and i'm theorizing about a show that will never have an actual answer LMAO... to be fair though it's not ABOUT actually "solving" it for me. i think most media works well when you get what you want or need from it and just kind of make that The Point and, for me, twin peaks will always be about the tragedy of laura palmer before it's about anything else!
i really do like that theory that dale cooper is just like. an entity that laura dreamed up to save her originally but in the end, after she had finally escaped being laura palmer and that life and that house and her trauma, he ended up bringing her right back to it. it's like. how does that not make people insane?
#fwiw i know dale kinda CAN'T be made up considering his past but if you actually like. think about it it weirdly lines up#the fbi in the show is already like. insanely idealized in the fact that they actually care about stopping horrible things from happening#and not a single one of those fbi agents ever acts normal LMAO but that's lynch for you. still though i think there's smth to be said about#like. dale cooper IS the fbi. he is the quintessential fbi agent who lives and breathes laura palmer's case and when he solves it#he just goes on to (try) to live in her town and never leave#and laura hated her town and almost everyone in it and her life so it's like. i do see that it doesn't fit perfectly as a theory#but at the same time isn't dale cooper just kind of like an insanely idealized caricature of someone living a worthwhile life#he's outrageously positive he has an answer for everything he's free to love whoever he wants and yes he has a dark past but#it comes up as more of an afterthought than anything that necessarily haunts him (mid-s2 was just um. well. eheh. anyways.)#but like even his archnemesis windom earle and their rivalry is so picturesque. an fbi agent having an affair with his partner's wife#and that makes said partner go insane and kill his wife and disappear. like... is that not the most telegraphed cartoon-ass backstory#that an fbi agent could have? i mean this in a complimentary way btw. like windom earle's whole thing is chess and disguises. he dresses as#a horse. to kidnap bobby's dad. does this not sound like something a child would come up with. meanwhile the giant is a guy named 'the#fireman' who just so happens to live in (or behind the veil of ig) a place where bobby's dad used to take him as a kid#and this is the man who sent laura's spirit to the world as a force of ultimate good or something. because LAURA IS THE ONE.#idk there's smth there about twin peaks all being a child's dream about what being an adult is like and a way to characterize all the#bad things that happen to people (not even just adults) like wouldn't it be so great if you could blame your father sexually abusing you on#a guy named bob. wouldn't it be great if you could blame all the world's problem's on the creation of atomic bombs bc what's scarier than#living through the cold war and constantly waiting for nuclear destruction that never comes? what's scarier than the violent reality of any#given situation. it would be great if we could blame all the bad things we do on our evil doppelganger from another world#idk. just smth i think about when i watch the show. that's all
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shhhhimwatchingthis · 6 months ago
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My favourite underrated thing about Louis de Point du Lac is that he truly is the least curious vampire to ever be made and he does not give fuck about vampires despite being one.
Its Claudia who goes to libraries, reads the folklore, tries to learn as much as she can and pushes Lestat for answers about who made him and where the others are. Claudia says Vampire Pride and Louis says hmmm Vampire Tolerance.
And Louis...truly does not care about vampire history,law, culture. He's never even thought to ask. There are vampire laws?...ok...Lestat never cared about them and he's not going to either, lol. He's broken a few and he will continue to do so. Oh you have a coven? he's not gonna join it, he's gonna do his own thing. but good for you good for you.
the 500+ year old Coven Leader, he's gonna call Louis, Maitre, actually.
He has fire powers? thats kinda cool. he'll learn that but only cause it lets him vent his feelings about Lestat.
Lestat and Armand say the name of the vampire queen in front of him and Lestat straight up says, "Louis has no idea who that is" and do you think Louis cares, outside of the fact that for some reason it means he can't kill Lestat? No! Do you think in the 77 years he's been with Armand he ever took 5 minutes to ask a follow up question? No!
Do you think he will care about Akasha in season 3? Doubt it! Outside of her obsession with Lestat, who is the only person left on the planet he seems to be able to filter Caring About This Shit through
He blatantly breaks the 3rd law and publishes a book about being a vampire and when the other vampires get pissed not only does he not apologise he literally sends them his location and says 'you wanna fight? lmao don't miss'
I love him. Daniel Molloy is gonna need to bring his A game because Louis will not be solving a single mystery next season, nor would it even occur to him to try.
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firebirdsdaughter · 6 months ago
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Oh no…
… I thought about the horrible romance plot in The Hobbit and now I'm angy.
#Firebird Randomness#words cannot describe how much the writing ended up making me DESPISE poor Evangeline's character#like it was NOT her fault but goddamn they turned her into the single most annoying stereotype ever#and Kili they massacred my boy#and they REALLY massacred poor Fili my love my life#AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON WHAT THEY DID TO THRANDUIL#I CAN'T EVEN SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT ANY MORE#my king you did not deserve this#seriously she was 'how to ruin a female character 101'#I had no problem w/ them expanding on the elves you want more movies fine whatevs you want money#but for starters undercutting Legolas and Gimli's friendship w/ some shitty forced romance???#MISCHARACTERISING THRANDUIL????#just to shill this rando chick that wasn't in the original story???#like listen get more ladies in the plot sure I'm down#but that was NOT the way to do it#I couldn't even finish those movies she drove me so crazy#and also this is a purist thing but orcs shouldn't have morgul weapons that was a nazgul thing??? like they they don't make arrows of that#like it could've been poison it should have just been poison#honestly it did the same thing to Kili too I like Aidan Turner but damn I wanted to throw Kili into the sea#I think the actors should have just thrown out the script and improved honestly#like them being kinda friendly okay like presumably not every single elf and dwarf were at each other's throats 24/7#but when you undercut Legolas and Gimli forging their own bond by insisting that this chick 'shows him dwarves aren't bad'#and you take away one of Thranduil's MOST IMPORTANT MOMENTS by instead of having him choose to go help the town#proving that although vain and isolationist he IS an honest leader and on the side of good now they make this rando COMMIT BLOODY TREASON#and point an arrows at him??????#she was “strong female character” [written by a man] so hard it HURT MY HEAD#sorry I have a lot of rage about this#again it's not the actress' fault and I'm mainly just disappointed in Peter for caving#I know who really did this#*stares at Warner Bros*
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kindacreepy-kindaugly · 8 months ago
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Basically all he did was make sure I actually wanted it before doin anything n I really am just totally fucking lovestruck
It's probably cause it was just the other guy for so long that the difference between em is messin up my brain but
How do I fight this?
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honey-tongued-devil · 2 months ago
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Arcane preference reacting to a s/o with a mental health issues (eating)
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My disclaimer, as someone with this issue, I’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted. I’ve actually been thinking about it for a while, but I was a bit cowardly about doing it, so I’m taking the opportunity now. I don’t want to go out of character, so I’m sorry if some characters come across as harsher than others. Unfortunately, I know I should write the name of the illness, but if I post it that way, Tumblr will take it down.
Jayce:
- He’s academically intelligent, but it takes him far too long to notice that something’s wrong. But you can’t blame him, it’s something so far removed from him that he couldn’t have understood it sooner.
- When he does realize, his first reaction is panic.
- Jayce can’t feel like just a blade of grass; he feels emotions deeply, taking on any blame, especially if something happens to the people he loves. His first thought is that he did something to make you feel that way, inadequate.
- But once the panic phase ends, the responsibility phase begins.
- He does the grocery shopping, he cooks, and his workouts become more regular, where he has you climb onto his back while doing push-ups or holds you in his arms during other exercises.
- He doesn’t know why you do it, but the quickest way to show you that your weight isn’t a problem is by showing you how easily he lifts you.
- And maybe, if you feel up to it, he can hold you in his arms with one arm supporting you while he cooks, letting you taste various ingredients.
Viktor:
- Unlike Jayce, it only takes two suspicious behaviors in a row for him to understand what’s happening. It’s something far from his world, sure, but he recognizes it.
- And he confronts you. He doesn’t beat around the bush, doesn’t stammer; he might even sound angry because he doesn’t understand why you’d hurt yourself like this and willingly give up your well-being.
- I won’t lie, I doubt that an open discussion about something this delicate with him wouldn’t lead to at least one hysterical cry.
- But he’s not brutal for the sake of being brutal; his suffering and frustration turn into anger. It takes him a while to calm down, but he won’t accept compromises.
- You’ll have meals together at home, either returning to your rooms together or straight to the house, so no one can see you and you won’t feel bad.
- And he won’t force you, he tries to handle it with as much care as possible, but there’s no day that goes by without him getting up from the table if you haven’t eaten at least two food items per meal.
- He loves you too much to see you hurt yourself in that way, and knowing that he can't do anything about it makes him feel powerless.
Ekko:
- It takes him a week—not to understand, but to process it.
- Having grown up in total poverty, the idea of giving up food “for whim” makes him react in a way that is only human.
- And the whole thing is too distant for him: everyone’s skin is grayish, 90% of the population of the Lanes has missing limbs and monstrous prosthetics, and everyone’s goal is to survive as long as possible. What does it mean that you’re against your own survival??
- As unsupportive as he might be regarding the issue, he becomes incredibly vigilant and concerned.
- He’ll always make sure you’re warm enough, that you’re comfortable, and no matter how frustrated he is, he’ll always try to stay close to you, even just holding you in bed until you fall asleep.
- Every single comment you make about your body, he’ll respond with, “Don’t talk about my partner like that,” 
- no one can speak badly of you, not even you.
Vander:
- The most understanding: he was young once too, and although in his size meant an advantage, he and Silco snuck into various galas when they were younger, and there, even though he never had these problems, he would feel a strange sensation seeing that he was the biggest in the room or that it was hard to find someone to steal clothes from that would fit him.
- He doesn’t lecture you or anything like that, he doesn’t get angry despite how he grew up; he just feels sadness for you that you can’t see how little that complex matters and how beautiful you already are.
- His compromise is vegetables. If you don’t feel like eating every meal every day, it doesn’t matter, but at least four days a week, you have to have three meals.
- And for the rest, he’ll cook, making sure to prepare the best dishes made from vegetables so that you don’t feel guilty and your body doesn’t deteriorate.
- But he doesn’t support your illness, he simply ensures that you get everything you need and never go below the necessary intake without having you feeling guilty about it.
Silco:
- Hoping that the most attentive and watchful man in the lanes wouldn't notice how, suddenly, meals go from moments of lightness to something you try to avoid at all costs is a bit foolish, but he says nothing.
- He waits for as long as necessary, basically to see how long it lasts and how much you're not planning to talk to him.
- When he realizes you won’t, not anytime soon, he waits for you to be alone in his office, where you’ll find a slice of cake on his desk. Sure, it’s a low blow, but it’s also the fastest way to get you to confront the issue without too many escape routes.
- He’s a big fan of the saying “dirty laundry is washed in the family,” so if you act strange about meals in front of others, he won’t allow questions or jokes, but in private, he won’t accept “no�� for an answer.
- He has enough problems already without you crying from hunger pains or having psychotic episodes due to sugar deficiency, so as long as you're under his watch, under Zaun's eye, he won't let you live with unhealthy standards.
- During meals, he becomes the strictest. He doesn’t say anything, but one look is enough to make you think twice about contradicting him. In the evening, though, when your mental health is most fragile, he becomes gentler, comforting you as much as you need.
Jinx:
- You find fertile ground, but like any good bearer of the same issue: she feels she can do it, but you cannot.
- Being with her or in her space becomes like a live-action version of Thumbelina: she’ll leave sweets, chocolates, things she knows you like to encourage you to eat so you can’t hurt yourself.
- She usually forgets to eat herself when she’s caught up in her studies and work, but if she has someone to care for, it doesn’t matter how, she’ll make sure to remember. Even if it means setting a few colorful bombs with timers.
- She feeds you. In the most visible, worst way. It’s easy that if you turn your head, you’ll find a cookie shoved in your mouth unceremoniously.
- And every single tight-fitting outfit disappears from her lair. Magically, whatever clothes you pick up from her pile fit loosely, but if you ask her about it, she’ll claim she doesn’t know what are you talking about.
Vi:
- Want to see Vi in a panic, becoming super protective and possessive in a way? Just wait for one episode, and you’ll see everything you haven’t seen.
- She’ll check on you at least three times a day, and in the evening, when you have pain or a crisis, she’ll run back and forth from the room, thinking about everything she can do to help you feel better without making you feel guilty.
- During meals, she’ll hold you in her arms and insist that you eat, but not aggressively—in a way that’s almost frightened: she’s always been used to fighting big, real monsters, but even when it came to her sister, she could never defeat the invisible ones, and the fear of failing or hurting someone she loved again terrifies her in an agonizing way.
Caitlyn:
- Like Jayce, she’ll also try a more physical way of reassuring you, like body worshipping when you’re alone or working out with you to show you that your weight doesn’t matter.
- She doesn’t know how to react; she realizes it quite quickly but fears that by acknowledging it, she might only make you feel worse.
- One day, she gathers the courage to ask if everything is okay and tells you that she’s noticed those behaviors. When you open up to her, telling her about the issues, she doesn’t respond right away and simply hugs you.
- She becomes more caring, making sure that you don’t have to attend banquets or dinners where you wouldn’t feel comfortable, bringing you food in your room to eat together, and sometimes even leaving the room so as not to put pressure on you.
- When you mention a craving, she immediately springs into action to get it for you, even if you complain that you weren’t serious. Once she understands how your condition works, she orders everything in three portions, so she can eat with you and then be the first to say that she wants more, asking if you want to share the third portion.
- If you have fat accumulated in any area, she’ll knead it with her hands while kissing you, to let you know that she loves every inch of you.
Mel:
- She notices you're having a crisis before you even realize it yourself.
- She’s a ruler, but what she learned from a young age is that a leader must appear reliable and look good, so even if unconsciously, she too sometimes experiences small crises when she feels like she isn’t looking perfect.
- No conversations, no lectures, just an increase in cuddles, moments of intimacy, and later, she brings home sweets.
- “They were a gift to me today at the council,” she lies, but sometimes she says she got them for both of you.
- She doesn’t want to make you feel like you’re in the wrong.
- She knows that when you’re ready and if you want to, you’ll bring up the issue with her, but for now, the best thing she can do is help you get through the episode with euphoria, love, and treats that encourage you to listen to your hunger rather than the illness.
Sevika:
- Like everyone in Zaun, the idea that someone would voluntarily give up food is simply incomprehensible to her.
- But she won’t comment on your problems. She doesn’t intend to invalidate them, but she also won’t encourage it.
- “Are you sure? That’s a bit too little,” will be her comment when you eat something ridiculously small, before making you a proper portion of food herself. If you try to argue, she’ll respond with a smug smile, saying that if you eat that little, you’ll end up breaking when you’re in bed together.
- If a crisis is particularly bad, she’ll try to finish her work as quickly as possible to be able to stay with you for the rest of the day and not leave you alone.
- As much as possible, she’ll try to get the best, freshest, and most natural food, to reassure you that you don’t need to worry, but she’ll never insist that you eat if you say you don’t feel up to it.
- She’ll gesture for you to come sit on her lap and keep you there, occasionally offering you things she knows you like, telling you that she’s really craving them, and if you want them too, she’ll go get them.
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nochepsicodelica · 5 months ago
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More clingy, bear boyfriend Toji thoughts.
He can't stand when you stay asleep once he wakes up in the morning and he chooses to be annoying about it by doing everything he can to wake you up. He'll sit up and lean over you to look at your resting features, admiring how adorable you are for a few seconds before carrying on. He starts by squeezing your waist, hoping the ticklish sensation is enough to make you stir so that he has something to bounce off of. You sleep like a log, though, so he has to try more than one method. He'll blow lightly into your ear and whisper softly about how it's time to wake up, scoffing when you brush him off with a whine. You hope he'll give up and let you sleep a little longer, but he doesn't. He's going to get you to wake up. He tries again, this time smothering the side of your face with kisses, starting from your temple going down to your chin. You love when he does this to you when you're wide awake, maybe this will do it. "Baby... Wake up, already. Let's start the day." Nothing from you, so he whips out the last resort.
NSFW Below
He flips you onto your back and tenderly kisses down your body. You're already more reactive to his touch so he keeps going. Leaves lots of wet kisses on your lower abdomen before he rolls down your panties. The second his tongue drags up your slit, you jolt and minimally scramble up the bed. You don't get very far because Toji is quick to calm you down and pins your legs with his arms. "Relax, mama. It's just me. No need to kick."
You let out a deep breath and your eyes fall shut in relief. It's just Toji.
"I know you wanted me awake, but you didn't have to give me a heart..."you trail off and let out a sharp breath. His tongue is back on you. "A heart attack."
"Mhm," he hums, dismissively, his mouth latched to your clit, sucking and running the tip of his tongue on the sensitive bud. "You'll be relaxed again, soon enough."
Soon enough indeed. It's been less than five minutes and things are already so messy. Your stomach is quivering with your impending release, and you're crying out his name repeatedly because it's the only thing you know when you're woken up this way.
He didn't even have to use his fingers to make you cum, just making out with your cunt was enough to make you gush. You're moaning, trying to ride his face to no avail due to the force he keeps on your hips to let him stay in control. He picks up the pace for you, letting his tongue glide through your folds, from your drooling hole to your clit, where he circles the sensitive bud all over again until you're whimpering and sobbing, jerking in his hold in an attempt to get away from his merciless mouth. He doesn't stop until you're all clean, not wanting to waste a single drop of your sweetness.
"Mmm..." he hums, kissing your twitching inner thighs. "That's all, baby. Good morning."
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quantum1mmortality · 2 months ago
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omg uhhhh…
curly giving/receiving head headcanons??…
it’s so generic but I’m on the floor sobbing I’m desperate for more of this man, you’re an incredible writer and I love what you’ve written abt curly so far!!
I want to give this man the most world shattering head he's ever had in his whole life, like soiled sheets and fucking mind boggling orgasms. RIGHT NOW
Tw/cw; Afab!reader, cunnilingus AND filatio!!!! that's all I think
Not proofread
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Receiving
He whimpers.
No but like seriously, he does whimper. He'd be so caught up in the feeling that just slips out, along with him saying your name ofc 🤭
He'd be more of a sheet gripper than a hair gripper. Like I said in my marriage hcs, Curly tries his best to not be rough with you; and in his eyes, gripping onto your hair is being rough.
He mainly thinks that way because he's under the assumption that it hurts you, which he wants no part of. So, he sticks to what he thinks is best for you.
But sometimes he just can't help himself, the pleasure he's feeling overrules his own morals, and he breaks.
So every once in a while, he'll grab a hold of your hair and just.. push you down a little further and hold you there. It isn't his fault, he doesn't mean to! But he feels awful about it in the moment
Once he's finished, he's an incoherent mess. He's so fucked out he can't even form words properly, but after a few minutes he can say "thank you". Why does he thank you? He thinks it's nice; a gentlemanly thing to do.
He'll eventually apologize, just give him a few more minutes to compose himself.
Giving
Curly would be the type of man to constantly want you sitting on his face. And I mean CONSTANTLY.
He'd definitely use it as foreplay all the time. Even if you don't need it, he'll still insist. He probably gets more pleasure from it than you do.
Even though he doesn't want to hurt you, that rule for him doesn't apply when he's eating you out. His hands leave actual MARKS from how hard he's pulling your thighs down while trying to keep you still.
Do you guys remember what doja cat said about big noses? Curly would DEFINITELY position your waist in a way that your clit is resting on his nose. And then he'd use his grip on your thighs to rock you back and forth, as if you're riding it
As you can imagine it doesn't take long to cum after he starts doing that, and he's not letting a single drop go to waste. It's his favorite snack actually, he likes working for what he deserves 🤭
More often than not he'd ask to do it again, but it takes so much energy out of you that you physically can't sit up. It's like he's sucking the life out of you, both literally and metaphorically.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/n: Got me holding my breath I've been dreaming of this all night, thinking all the time about you hope that's alright
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personasintro · 1 year ago
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Mutual Help | #58
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↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, suggestive content
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 20.1k+
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⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 
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The first issue happens shortly after your shenanigans with Jungkook.
Everything has been dealt with regarding your planned and first official vacation. Accommodation, flight tickets, even some of the activities all of you have agreed on. While you had enough time to dwell back into your working life (Jungkook free to some extent), each day has become closer to the D-day. 
You're not going to lie. You're excited to get out of Seoul – as much as you love the city – and experience some fun memories with your friends. With them, you will have the time of your lives. However, all plans come crashing down with a single message from Jimin. 
For some reason, his previous planned holiday is canceled by his boss himself. They're low on the employees and there's nothing else that could be done. 
“Maybe there will be a last minute change but I don't think that's gonna happen. I think I should cancel my flight tickets while I can.” Is what he said through a message. 
Taehyung was the one who took it the worst. To explain it correctly, Taehyung cursed the shit out of Jimin's boss and how devilish it is of him to ruin the holiday. Holiday without Jimin sounds sad and suddenly, none of it seems as exciting as you once thought. 
Perhaps the reason behind your sulky mood is the fact that you don't like when something is not going according to plans. Or more like – you're excited about something, already imagining and having a certain vision of things when it suddenly gets ruined. Funnily enough, Jimin is the one who takes it the best. He laughed and joked about it, though he surely does feel a little upset by the sudden changes. 
Nobody wants their summer holiday to get taken away, especially when he has to be working instead. Jimin insists all of you should go regardless of his absence when the idea of trying to get another date comes to the surface. Though, that's even trickier when three people have to change their already confirmed and planned holidays. There are your co-workers who have scheduled free days too. To say it shortly – it's not easy at all and would bring more trouble than good. 
Even Jungkook who's his own boss has scheduled photoshoots and overall work. He could possibly cancel it, but that would bring no good to his name and business. Plus, he would lose money obviously. 
Jimin stays positive and prays that maybe someone from their team will come to the rescue. 
It's a little more than two weeks before your planned vacation. You're in the middle of folding your freshly washed and dried clothes while Jungkook's humming can be heard in the background. You video-chat him, giving him advice on what clothes to give away to charity. Something he has been doing for a while now. 
Taehyung would tell him to sell everything and Jimin would tell him to give away everything. You, on the contrary, can reason with him. The piece of clothing he hasn't worn for the last year is good to go, because he will probably never wear it again. It's why you help him with that instead of any of the guys. 
After that is done, you just casually chat which to be honest, you're glad for. It's not like you haven't done that in a long time, but it feels way more calm than anything you've done for the past few months. It's a nice change compared to your wild thoughts. You just can't bring yourself to dwell on it – because you're going to lose it. 
“Oh found this one just now,” Jungkook says, cutting off your thoughts which is probably for the best. 
You look at him, his phone propped on his kitchen counter and from the looks of it, you can just imagine the device leaned against his bowl of fruit. He stands with a leather jacket in his arms, showing it off so you could see it better. Little does he know, that article of clothing is not one to be forgotten. 
“What do you think?”
“You want to give it away?” you almost gasp, hands on your hips with a mouth agape.
“Why not?”
“Because it's the legendary jacket, you can't just give it away.” you protest, seeing him blink at you a few times before he bursts out into the cutest fit of laughter.
Teeth on display, nose scrunched along with the ends of his eyes, he laughs. “Legendary jacket? What are you even talking about?”
You pout, rolling your eyes at him.
“It's just a regular leather jacket. Everyone's got one of these.”
“That might be true,” you start, Jungkook's eyes wide as he teasingly nods, motioning that he's listening. “But it looks way too good. Plus, you wear it often, right?”
God, you hope he does. Now is not the time to thirst over him and how fucking good he looks in that stupid jacket, but well… that's exactly what's happening right now.
“I haven't worn it in a while, it's too hot for it.”
“See? You will wear it once it's colder. Keep it.”
Jungkook stares at the jacket for a moment, his eyes glinting and watching the screen where you're currently finishing up folding your clothes. With a tiny smirk, he places the jacket to the side and leans against the counter. His forearms rest on it, head cocking to the side.
“I can't believe Jimin is not going with us.” Jungkook admits, mouth curling into a displaying frown which you immediately mirror without even looking at him.
Sitting on the couch with your phone in your hand, you sigh disappointedly. “Don't even mention it. I'm so upset over that. Honestly, what a stupid boss.”
“It happens here a lot though.”
“I know,” you whine, “But still. It ruined our plans and I feel so bad for him. We're gonna have fun and he will have to stay here and work. It won't be a proper vacation without him there. It was supposed to be all of us.”
“Jimin wants us to have fun.” he responds with a soft tone, thinking of the stupid situation himself. 
“It's not gonna be it when he's not there.”
“It fucking sucks,” Jungkook sighs. “Maybe he'll be able to join us last minute.”
“I doubt it,” you frown, Jungkook snickering at your pessimistic self as you give him a glare, knowing exactly why he's laughing. “He would have to get his flight tickets at the last minute, plus his accommodation is already canceled. What if the place we'll stay at won't have any free space?”
“There's a couch, he could sleep there.” he shrugs.
“Nah, flight tickets would be a problem. It's vacation season.”
“Or maybe he will be glad to spend some time with his girlfriend.”
You frown, “Not wanting to pull out Taehyung but he's with her almost all the time.”
“And how would you know that?” Jungkook chuckles.
“Well, when he's not working or with us, he's obviously with her.”
Jungkook keeps grinning, not really having any argument because he knows you're right.
“You sound like Taehyung.” he teases.
“Oh fuck off!” You both laugh. “It's true though.”
“It is. Can you blame him?”
“What do you mean?”
“If I had a girlfriend I would wanna be with her too.”
You frown at that again, staring at Jungkook on your screen who seems to shrug innocently. “But Jimin was excited to go to Hawaii.”
“Yes,” he says slowly, “I'm just saying that even if he's not going, he would spend time with his girlfriend and he would enjoy it either way. So no need to be too sad for him. He himself isn't too upset with it.”
“Men,” you sigh, “You all think of pussies.”
“Y/N!” Jungkook almost chokes at your honesty.
“What? Just sayin',” you mutter, “This is important, Kook.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “I was just trying to make you not feel so bad for him. He will be fine. He's a big boy.”
You snicker, “It's a bummer.”
“I know, but I promise you… we will have a good time. Even if it's just three of us.”
“Yeah, I know that–” you mutter, pouting. “Just will miss Jimin there.”
“Speaking of the devil, he's calling me.” Jungkook says, eyes attached to the top of his screen. “I will just call him after this.”
You cackle. 
“What?”
“Nothing, nothing.”
“Come on now,” he groans, “It's impolite to end a call just like that.”
“Just admit you love talking to me.”
He rolls his eyes, laughing as he keeps grinning at the screen. Your own mouth turning upwards as something within your chest tickles. “I do.” 
He admits and that something bursts. You freaking look away with a smile, almost too close to giggling loudly like a freaking teenager. You stop yourself, clearing your throat. 
“You should've seen your face,” he suddenly bursts out laughing. “What was that? Do I make you flustered, Y/L/N?”
“You wish, Jeon.” you spit jokingly right away, your senses acting automatically. 
He suddenly sneezes, loudly and forcingly, your head tilting to the side as he lifts up his gaze, eyes mischievous as a teasing grin makes it onto his face again. “I'm sorry, I'm allergic to your bullshit.”
You gasp loudly, “You piece of shit. I'll get you back for that, Jeon.”
“Yeah, wonder how,” he teases cheekily, “Why's Jimin still calling me? Wait hold on–”
He grabs his phone, tapping something there as you get another angle of his face.
“This angle is funny. Too bad I can't see your double-chin. This could be my payback.” you joke, Jungkook clearly too immersed in reading something to pay you his full attention.
You purse your lips. “Hello? I'm trying to be funny here.”
His eyes widen, your smile dropping.
“Kook?”
“Holy shit,”
“What?”
“Fuck, fuck,” He stands up, almost dropping his phone. “Jimin just texted me–Taehyung is in the hospital.”
“What?!” You yell, standing up abruptly as you clutch the phone in your hands. “Jungkook, talk to me! What happened?”
“I literally don't know!” he exclaims. “Jimin just got the call and tried to reach us.”
“Us? He didn't call me!” you panic, checking your notifications to see them empty. Fuck. You would not forgive yourself if you somehow ignored his messages, even though it wouldn't be entirely your fault.
“Fuck, we need to get there. He's going there right now.”
“Is it serious?” you ask, voice shaking at the thought of Taehyung and something happening to him. He's in a hospital which means it's something serious. 
Jungkook stops pacing, hearing the shakiness in your voice. Bringing the phone closer to his face, he watches you. “I'll come get you, alright?”
You nibble on your nails, nodding still staring ahead of you. 
“Y/N,” Jungkook calls out to you. “He's gonna be okay, alright?”
“You don't know that.” you scoff.
“We don't know any details, so let's not jump into conclusions, okay? Just wait there, alright? I will drive to your place right now.”
“Where would I go?” you exclaim, clearly stressed which Jungkook doesn't blame you for. Instead of calling you out for your attitude, he knows you're worried and stressed.
“Just don't drive anywhere.”
“I won't.” you promise, voice softening. 
“I will call you once I'm there. Don't go outside, it's too late.”
“Jungkook, stop worrying so much.” 
He groans, grabbing his keys as the screen keeps glitching here and there how quickly he's moving. “It's too late. Wait inside.” 
“Okay, sir.” you mutter dryly, Jungkook stopping just to glare at you. 
“Stop messing around. I am not.”
“Jesus, sorry.” 
He rolls his eyes. “Keep your pretty ass in your home. I'll call you when I get there.”
“Then get your pretty ass here, Jeon.” you roll your eyes to give back at him.
He sighs, closing his front door with a loud thud. The connection glitches for a second, his internet changing to his mobile data as he waits for the elevator. “Fuck it.” You hear him muttering, running for the stairs.
You keep pacing in your living room, biting off your nails while not having Taehyung beside you to scold you for doing so. Your heart clenches and worry overcomes you once again. It's Jungkook's car door closing that brings your attention back, watching him put his phone into the phone holder. 
“Kook?” 
“Hm?” he says, putting on his seatbelt as he turns on the engine. 
“Drive safely, okay?”
“I will,” he promises, but you keep giving him the same desperate look. “I promise.”
You smile nervously, ending the call just to be met with a spam of messages from Jimin. 
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Jungkook comes shortly after, just enough for you to check all the lights and gas before you leave. He definitely drove over the speed limit but you don't dare to scold him once he calls you. You spot the familiar Mercedes slowing down the parking lot just as your phone rings. Just like he wanted, you stayed inside. Knowing there's a low chance of something happening to you – considering this neighborhood is pretty much safe and you've walked when it was way later than now  – you also know he cares about your safety, so you didn't feel like disobeying his direct orders. Or more like a plea that would end up in a frustrating scolding if you didn't listen to him. 
Once you get inside the car, you buckle your seatbelt and Jungkook speeds out of the parking lot, rushing to the hospital where Jimin texted him details.
“Jimin is there.”
“What happened? Did he tell you?”
Jungkook shakes his head, checking on you for a split second before his eyes are back on the road. “No, he's still waiting.”
Luckily, the hospital where Taehyung's at is not that far away and it takes you approximately around fifteen minutes to get there, with all the red lights you had to stop at.
You've never had to go to a hospital here because something happened to one of your friends. To go through this and watch how Jungkook says Taehyung's name at the reception, trying to get any information doesn't sit with you well. You're full of nerves, sticking to Jungkook's side as he handles everything by himself. The nurse questions your relation to Taehyung but luckily, has no problem giving you directions of where to find your friend. 
“Couldn't she tell us if he's alive?” you grumble beside Jungkook as he tries to follow her directions from before. 
Jungkook chuckles, “If he wasn't, she wouldn't just tell us where to find him.”
Sighing, you follow Jungkook the entire time. “Have you been here before?” you question him in the elevator, a suspicious, curious look glinting in your eyes where worry was found before. 
Jungkook gives you a side-glance, sighing before looking ahead. “I have.”
When he doesn't elaborate and is silent, you lean yourself forward to catch his eyes. “When?”
He straightens his posture.
“It's just because you kinda know your way around here.”
You don't remember him mentioning being hospitalized here, nor coming here for examinations. There's a chance you simply don't know about that. There might be things you haven't told each other, it's practically impossible knowing everything about each other. But you feel if it came to this topic, you would know about it. 
But you don't. 
“I was here with Kiko.”
You halt, a taken back expression taking over your face.
“And because of Kiko.” He adds, clearing his throat at the mention of his ex. Almost as if you would bite off his head just for mentioning her name. 
You chuckle at that. “Oh, I didn't know that.”
“Yeah, didn't think of mentioning it before.” he mutters.
“Was she hospitalized here?”
“Do you really wanna know or you're just nosy?” he teases, wiggling his brow at you as you roll your eyes.
“Just answer, Jeon.”
“My curious delicate flower,” he continues to tease, ruffling your hair in the process as you elbow him in the ribs. “She had something with her shoulder once, she went here for rehabilitation.”
“Oh,” you let out slowly. “Was she fine after that?”
Feeling a burn of someone's gaze, you see Jungkook side-eyeing you. “Don't pretend like you care.” he chuckles, shaking his head at you as you smack your lips at him in annoyance.
“I wanna know! Stop making it seem like I'm a heartless monster!” 
“I wouldn't dare.” he jokes, continuing to shake his head as you sigh in irritation at your very annoying friend. 
“I advise you that.”
He snickers, “Damn, so scary.”
“Jungkook, seriously. I'm gonna kick you in the balls if you're gonna continue this.” you warn him, hearing him laugh as he leans against the elevator's wall. 
You glance at him, annoyed expression as his brow cockily lifts up. 
“Not the balls, damn, you monster.”
“Keep talking and you'll see the real monster.” you mutter, your bickering interrupted by the elevator's ring, informing you of your floor. 
Walking out of there, all the fun disappears as soon as you see and smell the sterile surroundings again, along with sick patients of all sorts which truly breaks your heart. You understand why someone hates hospitals so much. You never truly belong to that people, never really had that awful experience. Everyone you lost in the family had left at their peaceful homes. You never had to say goodbye to anyone here. 
Although, you do remember visiting your father's mother – your dear grandmother  – when you were a kid. Unfortunately, she passed away when you were around six. The only thing that bothers you to this day is that you don't have many memories with her. Since you were a little kid, you only remember very little. Plus, there are days when you wished she was still here. To talk about the craziness you've experienced in both families. To help her and show her your gratitude for raising your dad and his four siblings, when she was all alone. She was truly an inspiration for you. 
Your dad says you get a lot from her. You'll never forget a conversation you had with him about her. 
“You remind me of her sometimes. She had a good heart like you have.”
That's what he told you when you were around eighteen. Your dad is not a sentimental person. He doesn't usually say many heart-warming things, so to hear him saying that just made you emotional. Thinking of it now, it still does in a way.
“Sorry, we are here looking for our friend? They told us at the reception he's on this floor. Kim Taehyung?” Jungkook stops one of the nurses, surprisingly stopping a male who kindly shows you the way to see your friend. 
Jungkook looks behind, making sure you're there as he gives you an encouraging smile. You wonder if he's scared as fuck of what you're about to see as well. Is he pretending to be brave and having his shit together because of you? Are you preaching? 
Jungkook is the most caring friend. You don't believe he's not worried as much as you are. 
“Ready?” he asks, tilting his head toward the direction the nurse sent you. 
Naturally, like your body calls for his proximity and safety, you wrap your arms around his forearm, clutching to his side as you give him a nod. He leads you to one of the rooms, both of you cautiously peeking inside as the scene in front of you makes you both gasp loudly, catching everyone's attention in the room. 
There he is. 
If someone told you you will see Kim Taehyung laying in a hospital bed, you would laugh him off for some reason. All of you would. So to not only see him lying there but having a huge cast on his leg, his face pale and hair unkempt, you and Jungkook gulp at the sight. 
Jimin stands there, arms crossed over his chest as his hands rub his lips nervously. A woman stands next to him, a little behind him, noticing your and Jungkook's presence immediately. 
That has to be her.
But before any of you can pay her attention, Taehyung steals it without even knowing as he groans. 
“What the hell happened?” You almost shriek as a panicked mother, tearing yourself off Jungkook's side as you rush to Taehyung's side, Jungkook following you right after.
Both of you having a concerned look, Taehyung takes a minute to recognize you. You make a grimace, you and Jungkook giving Jimin a stare as he goes to say something, but he's interrupted by the patient himself. 
“You guys are here?” He looks shocked, making sure it's really you as he squints his eyes at you both.
“Of course we are–what happened, Tae?”
“Ah, don't even ask! That shit is so fucking embarrassing!” he dramatically sighs, slapping his palm over his forehead as he disappointedly shakes his head at himself.
“Can he just tells us what the fuck happened to him?” Jungkook mutters under his breath, causing you to elbow him like before.
Jimin clears his throat, “He was at the gym and accidentally dropped one of the dumbbells on his feet.”
“Jimin-ah!”
“Man they asked!” Jimin exclaims, trying to keep calm. 
“You guys came here because of me?” Taehyung pouts, changing the topic as you and Jungkook stare at him completely dumbfounded. What is wrong with him?
“Of course we did,” you assure him. “We would be here sooner, but Jimin had to call us. Why didn't you call us too?” you frown.
“Actually, the nurse called me. Taehyung gave them my number.”
“Well, that's great.” you mutter.
“Well, I'm sorry!” Taehyung mocks you, slapping his arms against the fluffy duvet he has thrown over one side of his body. “How could I know if you guys are not fucking somewhere behind our backs?”
“We don't do that!” Jungkook reacts.
The room is filled with craziness. 
Jimin sighs, deadpanning at his friend. You and Jungkook loudly gasp, your hand over your fast beating heart. 
The room is silent after that, Jimin's eyes directed somewhere behind you and Jungkook. You both turn around to see a nurse coming in, an awkward smile attached on her lips as she holds the clipboard with her. 
“We had to give him some painkillers, he was close to crushing his toes. He's a little drugged by now.” she informs you, perhaps trying to make you less embarrassed because of your friend. 
“I will come back and fill you with more information.” She sets up the clipboard on his bed, everyone bowing to her as she reciprocates it before walking away. 
“Ignore him, he's drugged.” Jimin apologizes to the female beside him, her eyes eyeing you and Jungkook as you shift on your spot. 
“Yeah, he's just babbling nonsense.” 
Taehyung scoffs, luckily keeping his mouth shut about this topic. “Yeah, by the way guys, Jimin brought his girlfriend. They were on a date when his friend was dying.”
“You weren't dying, Taehyung.” Jimin corrects him, giving him a stern look as the younger friend puts his lips into a thin line, frowning. “Ah, guys. This is Rin. Wanted to introduce you to her under different circumstances but well, babe–” 
Taehyung gags in the distance. “Knowing you, you would've kept her secret for another year.”
“This is Y/N and Jungkook. My friends.” Jimin grits through his teeth, giving a forced smile to his blonde girl. 
“It's nice to meet you. Jimin talked about you a lot.”
“Really? Because he really didn't–”
You kick Taehyung's mattress, ignoring his nasty glare as you both bow at each other. 
“Nice meeting you too, Rin. Welcome to the craziness.” Jungkook chuckles, “Jimin is a great guy. Hope this didn't traumatize you.”
She giggles, Jimin laughing nervously while you watch Taehyung who sulks in his spot. “No. It didn't.” she assures Jimin as she cuddles up to him. 
“Tae, how are you feeling?” you ask, focusing your attention on your sulking friend. 
You sit on the edge of his bed, brushing a few strands off his hair.
“Embarassed and like a fucking idiot,” he mutters. “I got so much attention at the gym. Fuck, I am used to attention but not that kind.”
“The most important thing is that you are okay, Taehyung.” Jungkook butts in, trying to sound gentle as he eyes his friend's new cast. 
Taehyung scoffs, “Does this seem fine to you?”
“I meant it that you're alive. You'll have this cast for a few months but you will be fine. You're lucky nothing worse happened to you.” Jungkook explains. 
“Fuck, I feel high,” he sighs, dropping his head on the pillow as he stares at the ceiling. He gulps, whining. “What about Hawaii? Fucking hell. I can't go.”
The realization hits all of you, yours and Jungkook's eyes meeting as you pout. 
“We can go next year.” Jungkook tries but you know it will only do so little. 
“We will cancel it too. There's no point in going when both of you don't go.” you tell him, Taehyung frowning as Jimin gives you an empathic smile. 
“No, you guys have to go.” Taehyung says, your eyes lifting up in surprise. But before you can say something, mouth already opening, he continues. “Everything's paid for. Jimin barely got the money back for flight tickets, I don't think I will get mine. It's too close to date.”
“Tae is right,” Jimin agrees, “You can still enjoy it without us.”
“I would hate myself if you didn't go there because of my clumsiness,” Taehyung admits, frowning. “Y/N you were so excited to see Hawaii.”
You stare, pouting as your eyes get teary for some reason. The entire situation is shitty as fuck and Taehyung's pale face is not helping. 
“You have to go.”
“I'm sure accommodation can be arranged just for the two of you. It's worth a shot.” Jimin says.
“We could try but I don't know…” Jungkook groans, sighing in disappointment at the fucked up situation. “We'll talk about it later. You're more important now, Tae. What can we do for you?” 
You nod, listening to Taehyung who sighs, cracking his neck. “I would die for McDonald's right now.”
Snorting, you shake your head at your friend. 
“You shouldn't eat right now, Tae. You have a good amount of meds inside you. It would probably make you sick.” Jimin reminds him. 
“We should just wait for the nurse to give us more information. Then we can figure it out from there.” you say, Jimin and Jungkook nodding in agreement. 
“This fucking sucks.” 
You make yourself comfortable on Taehyung's current bed, humming. “Tell me something about it.”
A few minutes later, a male in his mid-thirties (you're guessing) comes in. Wearing a white coat, you almost forgot how handsome some doctors can look, he eyes everyone in the room – mostly surprised to see so many people but then none of you are family members. He does question it but doesn't send you away. 
“...fortunately, Mr. Kim, your accident hasn't permanently damaged any of your nerves or bones. You'll have to wear a cast for a couple of weeks until it's healed, and after that you will need to be careful. But we'll take it from there and discuss further recovery steps.”
Taehyung looks like he's five seconds from dozing off or as if he could care less, you're trying to hold back your laugh while Jimin and Jungkook are the responsible ones. They keep nodding and looking seriously at the doctor using terms you've never heard before. You're sure none of them have and the fact they act like they do makes you want to laugh. Rin stays behind, sitting on the chair next to a window. You get a feeling she might feel not unwelcomed, but definitely out of her comfort zone. 
She sees four friends sticking together, three of them that she hasn't seen before. Honestly, it's not weird to see a woman next to Jimin. It is weird to see the affection they have going on, even though so far it has been pretty low-key. 
As the doctor finishes and informs Taehyung he's able to go home after they run some tests on him, he gives you a shortly lasting look. You smile, looking away in shyness as you're met with Jungkook's side-eyed frown. He has done that a lot today, you think.
You just innocently shrug, both of your attentions turned to Taehyung who starts to complain all over again. 
“You guys should go. You were on a date, right? Me and Kook will take care of him.” you tell Jimin, feeling bad not because they had to cut off their date, but you feel bad toward Rin. 
She probably wants to be with her boyfriend, it has probably been too many events for her tonight. You could sympathize with her and imagine what it feels like for her. Besides, there are three of you here. There's no need for all of you to be here. Taehyung will be fine. 
Someone just has to wait with him for more tests and results, so he's really safe to go home. Plus, he needs to be driven home as his ride here was an ambulance – something he's still complaining about how awkward it was when it arrived in front of the gym. 
“Yeah, go. They will take care of me.” Taehyung mutters like the child he can be, met with yet another glare from you. 
Jungkook tries not to laugh while Jimin frowns. “No. We could wait here and drive him to my place.” Jimin argues, turning to Rin. “You don't mind, right?”
“Fucking hell,” Taehyung whispers under his breath. “Why are you asking her? Just go and have your date.” He rolls his eyes at Jimin who clenches his jaw.
“I don't mind.” Rin tells him silently, assuring him.
“Somebody's gonna have to take care of your ass, Taehyung-ah. You can't be alone at home right now.”
“I'm not a child.”
“Sometimes you act like it.”
“Okay,” you butt in, standing up. “It's too late to be arguing in a freaking hospital. So get it together, both of you–” You're met with a glare from both of them. “Jimin wants to be here for you, so don't be childish Taehyung. They can have a date another time.”
“What she means to say is–” Jungkook starts, standing behind you. “We're all willing to stay here and help.”
Jimin and Rin have a silent conversation as Taehyung purses his lips and closes his eyes, ignoring his surroundings. Deep down, you know he wants Jimin to be here for him. He's just childish because Jimin is dating now and even though Rin doesn't seem to be a bad girl, it's different now. Suddenly, there's another person in his life and in their friendship as well. It awfully reminds you of the situation you had with Jungkook. 
It's still slightly different but similar in many ways. You know how Taehyung feels. The difference is that Taehyung also knows shit about relationships. He can't understand why Jimin, the guy who used to fuck purely for fun and enjoyment, is now dating someone. 
“Guys, could you drop off Rin at her house? She lives nearby, so it's not too far away.”
“Yeah, sure. No problem.” Jungkook responds. 
“Come on, it's late. We should all go to sleep. They can handle it from there,” you say, motioning for Rin to join you. “Don't worry, we're friendly and don't bite.” 
She laughs, some of her nervosity dropping.
“Yeah, they're too into each other to care about anyone else.” Taehyung comments.
“Y'know what Taehyung? If you don't want your other leg in a cast, you better shut up.” you warn him, feeling Jungkook's hand on your lower back as he shakes his head, silently telling you it's not worth it as an amused smile plays on his lips. 
“Which one?” Taehyung asks cheekily, having the time of his life when he watches your realization into disgust.
“Jesus, man. You should sleep it off.”
“That's not gonna help. This is Taehyung we're talking about.” you murmur to Jungkook.
Taehyung is about to say another nonsense, stopped by Jimin's palm as he gives him a warning stare before he walks up to you and Jungkook.
“Guys, please do not interrogate her. Okay?” Jimin pleas, sounding nervous as you and Jungkook share a knowing look. “No, please. Don't look at each other like that.” 
Little does he know it wasn't because of what he thinks it is, that you will go against his wishes, but it's the cuteness of how he doesn't want to ruin anything between them. You've never had a chance to see him like this. 
“Don't worry, we're gonna be on our best behavior.” Jungkook jokes, causing Jimin to whine but there's no time to have such a silly conversation. 
Jimin turns to Rin, telling her something before they share a kiss. You're ready to squeal at the cuteness as Jungkook tries not to laugh at you, cheekily poking you in your side while Taehyung looks grumpy.
“I'll text you and see you tomorrow, okay?” You hear Jimin say just as you bid goodbye to Taehyung, who's already too sleepy. 
Jungkook pats the top of his head before you leave Jimin with him and part your ways. But not before you hear Jimin's silent scolding. “You see? This is exactly why I didn't want to–”
You and Jungkook try not to laugh on your way out of the room, sharing a look in the hallway as Rin silently follows you, probably wondering who the hell has she just met. 
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“She's quiet.”
You break a silence by stating something both of you are thinking. Rin is not exactly communicative, kept it very casual and both, you and Jungkook, could get the hint of her not wanting to really talk. 
“She might've felt bad because of Taehyung.” Jungkook responds, a thoughtful frown making it on his face as he drives you through familiar streets that lead toward your home. 
During the slightly awkward drive to Rin's place, Jungkook tried to excuse Taehyung's behavior, thinking it's the main reason for Rin's distant behavior. It's not like she wasn't friendly or has done something out of place. She was just… quiet. She kept it simple, not engaging in any further topics. And regarding Taehyung, she just said it's okay and that was it. 
It was certainly none of you have expected. You tried to make the atmosphere lighter, forcing chuckles and grins for her own sake but she just didn't seem to care. You're not going to lie, that stung a little and you had to grit your teeth to prevent yourself from really asking her – What's up?
But then you realize, you have no idea how she's feeling. She met all three of you in the span of one hour and with Taehyung's insanity and even bolder mouth than ever, it has been a lot for her probably. 
It's not like the three of you are too much to handle, right? 
“You think so?”
Jungkook chuckles at your question, “Tae took it too far. Anyone would've felt uncomfortable.”
“Come on, he's on drugs–” you scoff out a chuckle as if that excuses him. “He wasn't fully himself.”
“He was pretty much Taehyung, what are you sayin'?” Jungkook laughs.
You smack your lips together, a laugh escaping past them as you gently nudge his arm. “You know what I mean–he would've behaved slightly differently if he wasn't in that state.”
“Hm, that could be true,” he mutters, driving with one hand as the other rubs his lips thoughtfully. “Maybe she's just shy, would explain a lot.”
“Maybe,” you hum, “Can you believe it though? Our Jimin has a girlfriend. Who would've thought?”
“Not me,” Jungkook jokes, quoting one of the famous sounds on TikTok which causes both of you to break into laughter. “I hope she's not terrified of us–or Tae.”
“There's nothing to be terrified of when it comes to us!” you exclaim, giggling when you see Jungkook's grimace of pursed lips and raised brows. “I don't know. I thought it would go differently when we would finally meet her. Not like this.”
“None of us expected it,” Jungkook says, “But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Taehyung is okay.”
“Oh god, he's gonna be such a drama queen once they release him. A cast on his leg?”
Jungkook laughs, knowing exactly what you mean when it comes to Taehyung. “He's gotta get used to it. At least for a while.”
While a short silence follows, one thought is rooted inside your mind which causes you to nibble on your lips. “Kook,”
“Hm?”
“This means we're going alone to Hawaii?”
Jungkook sighs, thinking through his answer as you watch the side of his face and how street's signs and lights illuminate his features. “If you want to.”
He stops at the red light, a few cars stopping behind you as you stare out of the window to avoid his stare once he glances at you. You see him in the reflection. His eyes momentarily watch your form, perhaps trying to decipher what you're thinking before he looks back ahead, staring at the road instead. 
“This is not how it was meant to be.” you mutter.
For some odd reason, you feel bad for even saying it. It almost sounds like you don't want to go with Jungkook. It's not that at all. Sure, the thought scares the fuck out of you – but Jimin and Taehyung were supposed to be there. All four of you. Making new memories and doing something new, something precious for your just as precious friendship. 
“We don't have to go. We could try next year.”
“No,” you shake your head, “Everything's paid for. It was already trouble enough to deal with Jimin's reservations and now it's the same with Taehyung.”
“Listen,” Jungkook sighs, the engine roaring back to life as the red light changes to orange. By the time it's green, Jungkook puts the car into drive and speeds through the main road. “I know it's not ideal, but I don't want you to go if you don't feel like it.”
“It's not ideal but–” you stop yourself, groaning at your stupid way of explaining your feelings. “I made it sound as if I didn't wanna go with you…” you trail off, somehow starting to feel nervous which is stupid. 
Jungkook stays silent. You're not sure if it's because he wants to listen to you or because he silently agrees. You did make it sound like that. 
“I just–would it be wise?”
“Wise?” Jungkook frowns.
“Well–just the two of us.”
Jungkook stares ahead before he throws you a quick glance. It takes approximately five seconds for him to release a chuckle as he shakes his head while you're the one who stares in confusion now. 
“So that's what you're nervous about?”
You roll your eyes, not being able to say anything. It's partly why you're so unsure about this. The last time you and Jungkook stayed alone… things happened. And while you would like to believe you're strong willed, there's a part of you that fears the exact opposite. 
It's insane how Jungkook gets it without you actually having to say anything.
“What? You can't keep it in your pants, Y/L/N?”
It's the cocky tone that makes your mouth drop open, but that single sentence is enough to make you stutter and you literally fight to get proper words out. “You're the one bringing that up!”
But Jungkook laughs, completely ignoring your evident attempt of trying to argue with his statement. 
“I didn't even think about that.”
“Mhm, mhm.”
He bursts out laughing, ignoring the way you glaring at his side with a huffy face. “What else did you mean then?”
“None of your business, Jeon.” you mutter, arms crossed over your chest as you fight back a smile when you hear his bubbly laugh next to you. 
“Oh, we're back to Jeon?”
“You're the first one that started with surnames,” you point out, giving him a playful roll of your eyes before you sigh and relax in the seat. “I just meant… maybe it's stupid but–we all know how it ended the last time. This is a vacation, Jungkook. We're gonna be miles and miles away. It sounds–”
“Couple-y?” He finishes your thought. He shakes his head with a gentle smile. “It sounds like fun to me. I'm still me, Y/N.” It's the way his last sentence sounds so gentle and vulnerable that it makes you feel like an idiot for even bringing it up. 
He's still the same Jungkook you've known for years. With or without intimacy.
You just had to talk about Hawaii one way or another. 
“Yeah–I know it sounds like that but I don't overthink it that much. I just meant–fuck, I guess it's a big change from our plans and just us going is…”
“You're scared.” he says, pointing out the obvious that makes you dryly swallow. 
You mentally groan and slap yourself. “How am I supposed to enjoy it when you will be right there?”
“Ouch.”
“No, not like that!” you correct yourself, groaning loudly this time. “You'll be a distraction.”
Jungkook laughs at that, “Distraction?”
“Yes!” you exclaim, growing frustrated but mainly from yourself and the fact you're talking about this. It makes you slightly embarrassed but at the same time it's a relief that you can talk about this so openly with him. “With Jimin and Taehyung there–”
“I can keep it in my pants,” he informs you of something you've heard many times before. “The question is–”
You inhale shakily.
“Can you?”
You stare ahead, eyes wide and mouth agape, tongue softly grazing your teeth.
Well–fuck.
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“Listen, just let me know how you decided.”
Jungkook says with a window opened as you stand next to the driver's side, shifting on your spot nervously. You haven't talked much after that. There was not much time since Jungkook drove here in five minutes. 
“I'm stupid for saying shit like that.”
Jungkook frowns, “Hey, you're not stupid. You're unsure and feel bad for the guys.”
It's not even about the temptation and the stupid break you came up with. It's the entire change of plans you've mentioned to him as well. You made it sound as if it was all about the two of you, but the truth is it feels bad to go there without Taehyung and Jimin. 
And that's exactly what you tell Jungkook as you confess your once said thoughts. This time you're more serious. 
“You heard them. They want us to go either way. Even when we don't think about the money and how's everything already paid for–you were excited to go there,”
He slides his hand off the steering wheel and places it on his lap instead. 
“We're going there to enjoy our vacation. It might not be as we planned it, but we could still have fun. And deep down, I know you really wanna go there.”
“I do,” you admit after a while. When you think about it, this is your opportunity to go. Although, going there alone with him makes you awfully nervous. It's like a huge test for the two of you, one you're not ready for. “You know the last time when we were alone–”
“Mhm,” he says, prompting you to continue.
“I don't wanna make it seem as if that's all I'm thinking about, or that's how I see you but I guess–”
God why is it so hard to put any words out?
“I know,” Jungkook says gently, seeing you struggling a little to properly explain the crazy train of your thoughts. “You wanted us to focus on our friendship. I know, Y/N.”
He's so gentle that you almost want to cry out and have him hug you. You're in a desperate need of a hug. But it's too late and you both had a long day. 
“You sure you don't wanna go upstairs?” 
Jungkook smirks and you groan. “Not like that, Jeon.”
“I feel like I'm gonna pass out the second I take a shower and lay in my bed,” he jokes instead, “You should go inside, it's getting colder.”
You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at your surroundings. “I wanna go, Kook.”
Jungkook turns his head to look at you, immediately realizing what you're talking about. He doesn't say it but the question in his eyes is clear. You sure?
“Yeah, I made a big deal out of it,” You sigh. “But I really wanna go with you. It would be stupid for us not to go.”
“Okay, then. I'll have to make some calls because of Taehyung, hopefully he will be able to get his money back. At least for the accommodation. If you change your mind, just let me know.”
“I won't,” you assure him with a smile, “And Kook?”
“Yes?”
“It's stupid but… I don't think I've ever felt nervous about you before. The last time was when we first met. Or the first time we started hanging out.”
“I made you nervous?” He laughs.
“Mostly everyone makes me nervous when I first meet them,” you scowl at him as you explain. “We barely hung out after we–took a break or whatever we wanna call it.”
Jungkook snorts at the way you roll your eyes when you say it. 
“I make you nervous. I don't know how to deal with this information.”
“Jeon,” you grit through your teeth, “It's not you. It's more… the situation and all.”
He grins, biting his lower lip before he releases it and stares at the distant street lights. “There's no need to be nervous. No kissing. No sex. We're on a sex ban. Just two best friends in Hawaii.”
You groan his name and at the way he says it with an utmost grin. This man is not serious. 
“That's not what I truly meant but–you know what? Nevermind. Let's just end it here.”
Jungkook doesn't press any further, simply opting for a gentle grin and change of topic. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
You catch yourself wishing he would say something else instead of your name.
And that's your cue to turn around before silently wishing him a goodnight, telling him to drive safe and send you a message once he's home. Perhaps it's for the better that he stayed in his car. 
He waits until you're inside of the building before he drives out of the parking lot, his silver car slowly fading out until it fully disappears. What doesn't disappear are the mixed and crazed feelings that make you question every single thing that has been said. 
One thing you know for sure.
This vacation will be one hell of a ride. 
One, you can't prepare yourself for. One, you're close to shitting your pants for.
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Rolling your suitcase down the sidewalk, Jungkook offers to take it but you decline. He has his own suitcase and full hands, therefore all he receives is just an appreciative smile as you enter the airport. 
Namjoon was kind enough to take you and since your flight is early in the morning, he had the time to drive you here.
Sorting out your luggage and going through the security doesn't take too long and before you know it, you're seated in the airplane fighting for a window seat with Jungkook. He lets you have it, of course and slumps into the seat next to you. With a happy and slightly annoying smile, you make sure he sees it as he playfully rolls his eyes.
Since there are still passengers sitting and putting away their luggage, you do have a little time before taking off. You take that time to quickly video chat with Jimin and Taehyung. While Jimin's preparing for his work, Taehyung curses you out for waking him up. Though, there's a tiny smile that tells you that it's okay to go without them and enjoy it to the fullest. 
You share your earphones with Jungkook, so he can hear them too. 
“You guys–” Taehyung sighs, eyes slightly swollen with tiredness. “This sucks but enjoy it, alright? And send me pictures.”
“We will.”
“Yeah, Kook took his camera with him.”
“You and your camera,” Taehyung jokingly shakes his head. “I could've had such nice pictures.”
“You have… lots of them actually,” Jungkook snickers, “We will take some next time.”
“Be safe guys, I gotta run to work but text us when you land.” Jimin says, his screen blurry as he keeps moving.
“Will do.” you assure them. “I'm sorry you guys couldn't come.”
“Stop,” Taehyung cuts you off, giving you a grin that feels oddly comforting. “Have the biggest fucking fun. I'm stuck in bed, so maybe I will annoy you with my phone calls.”
“Great.” Jungkook mutters, causing you to nudge him as the four of you laugh.
“We're about to take off. I will call you, Tae. Don't worry.”
“I am not. What I worry about though, is the amount of times I could've gotten laid. Now I'm stuck here with this fucking cast on.”
“Dude, chill out.” Jimin laughs. 
So do you and Jungkook. Shortly after you all end the call, you and Jungkook snickering between each other at Taehyung's biggest issue. 
While the pilot welcomes everyone on board and informs them of the destination and other important information, you make yourself comfortable in your seat as you place your head on Jungkook's shoulder. 
Jungkook looks down at you, smiling as you catch his glance. “Ready?”
“Is there anything left for me other than to be ready?”
“Well, you could chicken out. The plane is not in the air yet.”
You smack his side, sitting up straight as you're met with the familiar sight of his stretched smile and white pearls. “Dumbass.”
“Love you too.”
You look away, making sure he sees the roll of your eyes before doing so. Though a small smile plays on your lips and as you take off, plane soon in the clouds, you use Jungkook as the softest and best smelling pillow.
The adrenaline and excitement of what's awaiting for you does not allow you to sleep. Yet you don't move an inch, finding comfort in the man sitting beside you. And when you ask him to play with your hair, he does it without any questions. 
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“Oh my god.” 
Is the first thing you let out as soon as you get out of the airport and see the beauty around you. The weather is not too hot for you to not have any sunglasses or hat on. You shield your eyes with a palm outstretched above them, stopping in the tracks as Jungkook tries to get a taxi. 
“Beautiful, isn't it?” Jungkook says once he locks his phone and puts it into the pocket of his shorts. “The place we are staying at is even more beautiful.”
Jungkook has managed to make a compromise with the owner of the place you're staying at during the next seven days. Since it would be for the best if Jimin and Taehyung got their money back, they made a deal on swapping apartments. This way the owner could still make a profit while complying with you.
That alone made you a little bit calm because so far, everything is going well and smoothly. 
“Our car should be here in five.” Jungkook informs you and ushers you to go in a shadow.
You obey, feeling already as if you're melting.
“What's our plan for today?”
You haven't really slept during the flight. Jungkook has booked a business class, something you've scolded him for because that's definitely something you haven't paid for when you sent him the money for your flight ticket. There was no need for that eight hour flight, but you both definitely made a good use of it. You turned on a movie and made yourself comfortable while eating snacks. Who knew having a drink on a plane can be actually so relaxing and fun at the same time?
You sit on your suitcase, squinting your eyes at Jungkook who pulls a cap from his suitcase and puts it on your head. 
“We're gonna settle in and maybe we could check the outside?”
“Sounds good.” 
The car comes around the time Jungkook said it would, an older man with a straw hat on welcomes you and helps you with your things. You both thank him and get inside – luckily – with an air condition on.
While he drives and gives you a quick tour of the road you're driving on, he answers any curious and informative questions Jungkook asks him. You sit silently, smiling at the man whenever he jokes around as you stare out of the window, appreciating the nature around you. 
And at that moment you think;
It's a good thing you decided to go.
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You've seen the photos of where you were supposed to be staying. All four of you. But since that has changed and the two of you couldn't go, there had to be some changes made. Jungkook informed you about that, so that's no news to you. It would be no use for you and him to share a place designed for four and more people. 
Surrounded by nature and sea air, there's a whole street of houses. It's so close to the sea that you can hear the waves in the distance and smell the salted water. Surely, the location and vacation houses are one of the wealthiest ones, and you just can't seem to pry your eyes at what's around you. 
You let Jungkook handle everything, after you've grabbed your luggage and bid goodbye to the driver. He talks to the owner, or the person who is in charge of the vacation house you'll be staying at. Shortly after, Jungkook is given keys and after waving off one last person, you finally get out of the sun and get inside. 
The first thing you notice is the chilly air hitting your heated bodies, the two of you sighing in delight before you both laugh. 
“AC is gonna be our best friend here.” you comment, squinting your eyes as they adjust to the lack of sun.
“Just don't overboost it, yeah? Or else you're gonna end up sick.”
You turn to Jungkook with raised brows, who simply just shrugs as he sets the luggage down. 
“Says the person who always has his AC turned on in the car.” you point out the obvious fact you both know.
“My immune system is much better than yours.” he points out back, showing you the tip of his tongue in a teasing manner as you shake your head, trying to hide a smile.
Bickering with someone who knows you well – or best even – is tough. 
Now that's done and the two of you don't elaborate to bicker any further, you take the time to look around. The place you've seen from pictures looked different, customized for more people. This house is just as spacious and even though you're standing in the entryway, you can easily tell more people would be able to fit in here.
“Are you sure we're at the right place?” you ask, catching Jungkook sweeping his hair off his forehead with head leaned back. Mentally sighing at the painfully attractive sight, you turn around and admire the place you're in instead.
That's a safer choice anyway.
“It's beautiful, isn't it?” he asks instead, confirming that yes, you're at the right place. “Come on, let's see how it looks in person. The pictures were pretty great.”
You wonder why Jungkook hasn't shared them with you once he was able to switch houses. For sure, you haven't had that much time to talk about it. Everyone was busy with their jobs, you included, and then the accident with Taehyung happened which caused this entire planning to get rushed. Poor Jungkook took care of everything – but you know he's the best at it. 
When your mouth drops as you make it to the living room, you notice Jungkook grinning at the side of the entrance to the living room since there is no door. He wanted it to be a surprise.
One that appears to be more than successful.
“Kook–” you stop yourself. The entire side facing the sea is a window wall, giving the best view to the beach and sea. 
The floor is a darker wood, giving the room just the right balance of colors since there are a lot of light colors. The white couch is huge, in the shape of U, similar to what Jungkook owns at his place. There is a big beige carpet underneath the coffee table and couch, making it more cozy. A beautiful chandelier hangs down with transparent bulbs which is undoubtedly even more pretty at night. 
From up here, there's a porch with a pool and your legs itch to find out how big it is. 
It's a one floor beach house, a modern yet cozy one as Jungkook leads you to the right to show you the kitchen. It's a medium sized, smaller than the one he's got and you wonder why it's even here considering you'll get your food brought from the resort. 
The house ends from the left sounds but you move to the opposite side, jaw dropping at the beautiful bedroom. First of all, the interior is beyond any words and leaves you breathless. You've never seen something so beautiful in person. You could cry. And Jungkook's joyful grin is not helping at all.
The bed is not against any walls. It sits almost in the middle of the room. There's a panel behind it and further away, it leads you to a spacious bathroom. There are two sinks and a huge mirror – the room matched in turquoise and white colors.
“Jungkook–this is–how much did you spend on this?” you ask, turning to him with a hand on your hip with a frown. “This was definitely much more than you said.”
“Don't worry about it.”
“Jungkook, stop. I'm serious.”
“So am I,” he shrugs, sighing slightly. “I paid a little extra but it wasn't much.”
“I don't believe you.” You narrow your eyes at him as he cheekily grins and shrugs.
“Sounds like a you problem.”
“Jungkook!” 
However, your scolding is cut off by him simply walking away. The bed is facing the beach, the same view as you could see in the living room. Palms surround the house which create a little shade from the burning sun. 
There are dressers where you could store your clothes and stuff, but you don't pay any more attention to it as you follow Jungkook back to the entryway with a frown settled on your face. 
“Jungkook, I'm serious.”
“And so am I, Y/N,” he says simply, dragging your luggage to the living room. “I swear I didn't pay much. The owner wouldn't really have any other place for us. I wanted you to see this beach.”
You raise your brows at him, trying not to crack at the warm and sweet gesture.
“Plus I didn't want to stay anywhere else. So be mad at me all you want, but I'm happy to be here and from the looks of it, so are you.”
“Yes, but–”
“No, buts. Now get ready, we're leaving in twenty.”
You stammer over your words, mustering to ask only one word. “Where?”
“Out. Unless you wanna stay in and rest.”
He says, stopping as he turns around to look at you with raised brow, waiting for your response.
“Ah–no, I am fine with going out.”
“Good.”
And he leaves to the bedroom, “Oh–I hope you don't mind the one bedroom. They didn't have any houses with more rooms left. But I can sleep on the couch.” he calls out from there.
When you don't respond right away, his head pokes out of the corner with a awaiting gaze. 
“Why would I mind?” you breathe out, feeling like you just got awestruck. 
“Uhh–you want me to elaborate?”
You chuckle nervously, scratching your forearm before you shake yourself out of it and drop the expression. “Yah! You wanted to go out! So go get ready too!”
“Yes, m'am.” he salutes and disappears behind the wall of the bedroom. 
You stand there, sighing to yourself and at your fast beating heart. 
He's not going to make this easy, is he?
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Happiness oozes out of you and as much as you were unsure about this vacation, you're glad the guys managed to talk you out of backing off. In the end, it was your decision to go without Jimin and Taehyung who are very much missed. Though, you're completely obvious to the fact it's going to be challenging. 
The heat and raging hormones are not making it any easier for you. 
You can control yourself. You can do that as long as there's no impulse from the other side.
This vacation might've not started like you planned, but it started wonderfully without your friends here. It's also a great chance of getting your friendship back where it was. While you're sure the history between you will always be there and it will never go away, you can try to go back and not get pushed to do something silly due to any sort of temptation. 
Because that's what Jeon Jungkook is.
Having him right here, next to you while you explore the Island is a great challenge itself. At first, you don't pay any attention to the mentioned temptation. You're fine. You talk, you joke and have a great time exploring the Island. You go out and eat in one of the restaurants, you have the best ice cream that is like the greatest present for your heated bodies. Taehyung and Jimin facetime with you during it, which ultimately makes you miss them more – especially when you show them around and see their pouty faces.
After that, you visit a few local shops – promising each other that you will come back and shop some souvenirs not just for you two but for your friends as well. The heat is too much to spend the rest of the day in a direct sun with no refreshments. And you didn't come here to just stay inside, so you both decide to go to the beach.
You do want to get the best of it since you're about to get your period in the halfway of this vacation. The timing sucks but you won't let it ruin anything.
Quickly going back to the house to change and pack things, you use the close proximity to the sea and settle on the beach there. You decide to walk a little further, closer to people and other tourists where different bars occur. There will be time to enjoy that privacy later. 
Although, being left with him alone is all the things you're scared of. 
Just focus on you, and your friendship.
“Is here okay?” Jungkook asks, stopping a few meters from the sea.
Looking around, it's a good spot. You're not completely surrounded by the tourists, more to the side where you can enjoy the shade and sun at the same time. There are faint sounds of music coming from the nearby bars, squeals of people's excitement and chatters around you. Beach waves are like a lullaby to your ears, confirming the reality of your presence here. 
There are kids as well, not too many but you spot a few in the distance as they beg their parents to go to the water already. 
“It's perfect.” Is all it takes for Jungkook to drop the beach blankets down. You help him to get it in the right place, making sure the wind doesn't mess it up. 
Air here is far better and you can't wait to get into the water to freshen up. 
“I'm gonna get us some drinks.” Jungkook announces once you settle in, pulling out a straw hat he bought while you were visiting different shops. It's the only thing he had to buy.
At first you weren't sure why, it's not exactly his style and you're sure he packed one of his caps. But then, he just puts it on you and shields the top of your head. You lean your head back to give him a look.
“You don't wanna get a heat stroke.” he shrugs, hands on his hips as he stares down at you.
See, it's very hard to keep it casual and think of Jungkook being an annoying friend. While you fully appreciate his caring, it's hard to focus in general. He has a stupid excuse of a button-up, so thin all his tattoos can be seen through the seen through material. It's not even the tattoos itself. 
He has it completely unbuttoned, showing off his pecs and abs as the thin material barely covers any of his skin. Jungkook has always been handsome, but you also never had to see your friend like… this. 
Iceland would've been a better option than Hawaii. 
So far though, you've been strong – even though it doesn't seem like it. While you're completely obvious to Jungkook's body and additional sight of his skin, you just don't allow your eyes to drop there. You keep them solely on Jungkook's face, hoping he doesn't see the inner turmoil you're going through.
“What are you? My dad?” you ask instead, poking the front of the straw hat with a lifted brow. 
Jungkook grins, “Don't want you to get sick on our first day.”
“You forgot to put sunscreen on me. And bring a swim wheel.” you comment grumpily. 
Something feels odd. It's not like you're truly annoyed by his caring. But looking at the familiarity of this conversation and overall situation, something sits on the tip of your tongue. It's not a word or anything that could be said. It's almost like a taste you can't quite describe. 
And when you see Jungkook who just laughs with his head leaned back, shrugging effortlessly at your comment, you realize that perhaps it's the fact that things really are like they were. At least right now. Jungkook treats you like he has before. He's caring, having that one particular look in his eyes you haven't seen in a while. 
Or perhaps you're just dramatic and you're seeing things. 
Being confused and frustrated at yourself more than ever, luckily Jungkook cuts you off from your never-ending thoughts before you can drive yourself crazy. 
“Ah, maybe I should've. We both know you're not too confident in water.”
You gasp, reaching for your sandal which you throw in his direction. He laughs, dodging it perfectly as despite your attack, he still reaches for it and puts it back to the spot, so it won't get lost. It's a detail but leaves you gulping.
“I'm pretty confident in kicking your ass.”
“Alright,” he laughs, not believing a word you're saying which makes you roll your eyes at him. “Whatever you say.”
He confidently backs away with a smirk, laughing when you flip him off and huff out in frustration once he turns around and walks to one of the bars. He slowly walks further and further away, yet you keep your eyes on him. 
You lay back, staring at the palm tree above you. The sunlight peeks through the leaves, creating patterns on your heated face and cheeks. 
When he comes back, you gulp down the fresh lemon and mint drink without properly tasting it. 
“...okay.” Jungkook says, watching you being halfway down the drink – it's alcohol free which doesn't make you look completely insane. “Wanna go for a swim?”
Putting down the drink, you open your mouth just as Jungkook decides to ditch the stupid excuse of a cover-up. He shrugs it off and tosses it onto the sand, brushing his fingers through his black hair. It has gotten long to the point where it sometimes gets into his eyes.
Standing up, you undo the small knot on your white cover-up that looks like a short dress. It slips down your arms and meets the blanket underneath your feet.
“Ready?” you ask, dropping down the silly straw hat Jungkook has gotten you. 
“Is this new?” Jungkook questions instead, pointing at your white bikini. It's a cute set. What makes it cute looking and pretty is the ruffled style, yet it's complimenting your body in the nicest way. 
“Yeah, I bought it for this trip specially.” 
“You did?” 
“Yeah, you don't like it?” you ask, looking down at yourself and adjusting your bra that's pushing up your breasts. Not in the overly too much type, enough to show them off though. 
In your defense, it didn't look like this on the model when you were ordering it. Luckily, you would say it fits perfectly. Jungkook's silence causes you to look up, almost finding the thought of him not liking it or thinking of it negatively scary. You mentally gag at yourself. Since when do you care what others think?
To be fair, sometimes you do – if those people are close to you and it also happens what it is about. But your choice of fashion matters only to you. You won't let anyone change the way you perceive yourself and your individual style. 
As much as you're independent in this entire matter, you would lie if you didn't say you don't like compliments. Also, there is something about Jungkook's compliments. You almost gag for the second time when just the idea of it makes your stomach tickle.
“Are you staring at my tits, Jeon?”
Caught red-handed, Jungkook's slightly scrunched eyes from the sun widened in a split second. “You don't usually refer to them as tits.” he comments instead.
You chuckle at the ridiculous response, “I usually don't have to refer to them at all. But you were staring.”
“Can you blame the man?” he shrugs, stealing a quick glance again as you give him the look he knows very well. The one where your eyebrow has been lifted for what seems like the hundredth time in the span of thirty minutes.
“Jeon, for this to work, you gotta behave yourself.”
Jungkook frowns at the nickname, “I prefer Kook better.”
“Jeon.” you correct just to annoy him. Deep down you cackle at the way his brows scrunch together in the softest way possible. 
“What do you want me to do? They're just right there! We were talking about your bikini, it's not my fault.”
“You don't have to stare at my breasts though.”
“Did it make you feel weird?”
“Well–”
“See? You don't not like it!” he exclaims, pointing at you accusingly.
“I barely said anything!”
“You don't have to, I know that look.”
“This is ridiculous,” you mutter. “Besides, you didn't answer. You don't like it?”
“Are you seriously asking me that?” he deadpans.
“Um–yeah?” you deadpan back. 
He sighs, “I'm not gonna talk about your bikini because you're gonna accuse me of staring.”
“I don't have to accuse you, you were staring!” you laugh.
You're not going to lie. It does compliment you.
Even though you're here to focus on the two of you, in a different way than you were a few weeks ago, you should hate how Jungkook's attention makes your ego grow. 
“You told me to behave, so I'm gonna keep my mouth shut.”
“Why?” you question, not doing a great way to show your excitement. 
“Oh, now you want me to talk?” he laughs, “Nah, you wouldn't be able to handle it.”
“Cocky as always.”
He shrugs, “I never hid it.”
You nibble on your bottom lip, “But no, be serious right now.”
“Oh, I have been serious this whole time.”
“Jungkook!” you whine, “Is it not too much?”
“If I told you yes, would you change?”
You stay silent for a moment before simply saying; “No.”
“Then no, it's perfect.”
“Jungkook!” 
He stays silent for a moment, throwing his head back as his eyes squint shut from the trails of sun hitting his face. “God, woman.”
“What?” you mumble innocently.
Since when do you care what anyone thinks? Jungkook questions mentally, trying to keep his thoughts straight before he gets the courage to look you in the eyes.
“You look beautiful.”
You stare, battling with hundreds of things happening inside you. The heat in your cheeks gets almost unbearable and you do what you seem to be best at. Running away and playing it cool. “Yah, don't say it like that!”
“Like what?” Jungkook asks, brows pinched in confusion.
“So seriously.”
“I am serious,” Jungkook informs you, making it worse for your cheeks and the turmoil that's happening in the pit of your stomach. Why did you have to open your mouth? “Now let's go into that fucking water.”
“Woah.”
“Yeah, woah.”
“What's bothering you?” you ask, trailing behind him trying to catch up to him when he suddenly turns around and nears the sea. 
“Nothing,” he says casually, dipping his ankles into the chilly water. You open your mouth but before you can say something that could potentially lead to a conversation you would eventually back out of, Jungkook splashes your heated body.
You gasp, finding him smirking. Before you can get him back for it, he runs to the water and dips his entire body in. He emerges out of it in seconds, the water reaching just somewhere around his hips. You watch droplets of water run down his entire body, hair completely soaked from it as he wipes his face. 
“Are you staring at my abs, Y/L/N?” Jungkook shouts, your eyes widening as embarrassment makes it onto your face. Can he be any louder?
You look around for a second, trying to see if someone is witnessing this embarrassing moment. There's no one that seems to care, besides a group of girls meters away from you as they seem to find a certain interest in Jungkook. You purse your lips, looking at Jungkook. 
“Y'know, if I should behave, so should you.”
“I don't feel like behaving,” you call out to him, watching him as he creates waves with his hands as he effortlessly runs his hands through the water. “They are just there, you know?”
You get him back for it, still watching him and witnessing his lips curling into a knowing smirk. “Oh, are they?”
“Mhm.”
“Get in here.”
“No.” you giggle, laughing when Jungkook grins and shakes his head at you. 
“I'm gonna get you.”
“Come here then.”
And fuck, he does. You laugh through it all, trying to back away as you promise him you will go deeper, though not fully out of respect to the sea you have. He doesn't listen. As soon as his arms wrap around your body, molding into his almost too naturally and perfectly. But you're caught up in the moment and in your giggles, hearing Jungkook's laugh as you squeal when the coldish water wets you. 
You cling to Jungkook's side, “There are no sharks, right?”
Jungkook snickers, “Of course there are. Somewhere in the sea at least.”
You nudge him, but Jungkook holds you close since he can reach better than you. He's also a way better swimmer than you. “Don't say that.”
“Look at those kids,” he says and points to the side. There are kids on their floaties, of course with their parents around. “They're not scared of sharks.”
“They could be dessert for all I care, I'm not gonna be one.” you joke, hearing Jungkook laugh as he doesn't allow you to inch closer to the shore. 
“You could be mine, but you wanted a break.” 
You gasp, tickling his side as he barely falters and just gives you the teasing grin. “Don't say stuff like that. I told you.”
“Alright, I won't.” he promises, imitating his lips being locked as he throws the imaginary key far to the sea. “I was joking.”
“Were you?” you ask, pretending to be teasing and amused but the truth is, there's a part of you trying to know the truth. 
“I guess you'll never know. I told you I'm shut.” he says with a grin like the annoying brat he can be. 
And for the sake of yourself, you decide to leave it be. You splash his face instead, playing it off like you seem to do often. For your own sake. 
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Jungkook has always been the adventurous type. You've heard all kinds of stories from Taehyung and Jimin, some of them back from Busan or from the times you haven't been present in their lives back then. Jungkook would be up for anything that could get him the thrill and although, there weren't that many opportunities considering everyone's busy lives – you could see it from his mere decision of being up to all sorts of fun that involves adrenaline. 
So you shouldn't be surprised he practically stuttered and almost jumped from excitement once he spotted a place where jet skis can be rented. You've read his mind even before he opened his mouth and dragged you there.
After swimming and messing around in the sea for a while, you went for a walk and explored the beach, and tasted a few good snacks. You should've known it's not ending with that. 
And that's where you ended up. Sitting behind Jungkook, both of you wearing safety vests and you clutching to his back, arms around his waist. You live in the moment, focusing on each activity the two of you do.
The sun is now setting down, air is still warm but with the sun slowly disappearing, it's not boiling hot. You're exhausted and your body screams for a good cold shower and bed. On your way back to the beach house, you walk in silence and enjoy the sound of waves around you. 
You're the first one to occupy the bathroom, taking the chance to not be in the presence of Jungkook's naked abs and chest. As long as you keep your mind and body busy, there's a low chance of you overthinking and letting your mind wander somewhere where it simply should not. 
Not wanting to dwell any further of how this might have been a mistake, you take it as a test to prove your friendship. Jungkook is a temptation that has grown over the few months you get to experience something you haven't before. 
As the water dribbles down your naked body, wetting every inch of your skin, you think it's too soon to want everything to be different or back like it was. Because it never will be. And for that, you're scared of what's about to come. There are things you can control and then there are things that simply will evolve into something. The feeling of the unknown and fear of ruining your friendship with Jungkook genuinely scares you.
But again. You think of it more positively, you have to or else you're going to lose your mind. Jungkook's attractiveness and the fact you're attracted to him won't go anywhere. At least not in the near future and it's something you need to come to terms with. Like you said, it's too soon to think of it any differently. 
While you're here to focus on your friendship, perhaps you should focus on yourself more as well. 
As you wash yourself in a nice scent of orange and vanilla, you apply a body lotion you've brought to make your skin soft. While you do that and start doing unnecessary steps as your night routine, one you definitely don't do when you've spent the day not wearing make-up specifically, you tell yourself you just pamper yourself instead of trying to look good for someone else. 
Your skin is glowing and hair almost dried by the time you join Jungkook in the living room, wearing one of your night gowns. 
He's on his phone, barely glancing at you before he takes a double-take and eyes you up and down. 
“What?”
You're the first one that breaks the short-lived silence. Any nightgown is a small portion of what could be considered as your sleepwear. Jungkook out of everyone knows that, because he's seen you in everything you usually sleep in. Back in the day, you would never get the courage to let him see you sleep in anything other than oversized shirts and shorts. Even thinking of wearing tank tops made you feel weird, especially if he god forbid could see your nipples peeking through. 
This white nightgown is beautiful, but by no means designed to make men salivate or suggest anything other than having something nice to wear. Besides, the material is thin and light which is perfect for this warm weather. Plus, you and Jungkook have agreed or not having the AC turned on unless it's completely necessary. Not only is it not healthy but you're also very sensitive to coldness. Getting sick on this vacation is just not on your list, therefore you're trying to eliminate that chance as much as possible.
He narrows his eyes at you, trying to figure you out and you realize it right away before he can even open his mouth and offer you any sort of response.
“Oh, don't get this wrong. I packed my best stuff on this vacation and I didn't know we were sharing a bedroom.”
“I haven't said anything.” he says, watching you as if you were a predator as you get closer.
“You didn't have to, it's all over your face.”
As much as you enjoy his eyes on you, which always compliments you – it's one of those moments when you hide behind confidence and ignore the warmth that spreads inside the pit of your stomach. There's no point in thinking how many words from him or simple eye-contact would it take for him to take matters into his own hands. Or more like you. 
But you can't think about that. You can't wonder about it.
“I would suggest wearing something different but I won't.”
He smiles and it's so brief you barely catch it. “And why is that?”
“Because it's not my problem, of course.” you tease. “I'm wearing this for myself.”
“I never initiated anything different,” he tells you, tilting his head to the side while he studies your face. He doesn't even lock his phone as he tosses it beside him. “You should sleep in whatever you're comfortable in.”
“I will.”
“Good.”
You both stare at each other, trying not to crack a good laugh. It's a weird moment. Something between joking, amusement and tension that boils. If this happened a few weeks ago, he would probably have you underneath him as you're speaking. And the image is so explicit that it leaves a warm coat all over your body and you have to take a step back.
“But seriously now, you don't feel weird because of this?”
“If I said I am, would you change?”
“Of course not.”
He cracks a grin, “Then why asking?”
“I'm curious. I don't want to make you feel weird and this wasn't my intention. Besides, this doesn't expose anything major–and you've seen everything–”
“I have and for someone who doesn't care and wears this for herself, you're awfully explanatory.” 
Your eyes narrow into thin slits as you glare at him, sending him a warning look that's easily met with a boyish grin from him. 
“Now that you're finally out and finished making yourself look good for yourself, I'm gonna take a shower.”
Jungkook's laugh booms through the room and bounces off the walls when he manages to escape from your leg aiming at his buttcheek. To be fair, you were there for longer than you initially planned.
“Are you making fun of me, Jeon?” you call out to him, trying to sound pissed as a comfort glazes your soul. 
“When have I ever?” He calls out back, already in the bathroom and hidden from any threats your legs might make. 
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It's been ages since you've had such a good sleep.
Exhaustion and the amount of activities you've done yesterday ultimately had a good share of it. The air here is different. The faint sounds of waves have been an additional part of your sleep. No cars passing by or city lights peeking through your blinds, or even occasional footsteps of your neighbors above your head.
You understand why people travel so far to relax. Sunlight peeks through the wide open window you've left and lets the chilly air get through the night. It felt so lovely that you fell asleep as soon as you closed your eyes.
Traces of sun touch your skin and make it warm, warmer than you've appreciated though and that alone tells you you're about to have another hot day ahead of you. Jungkook has briefly informed you of today's plans, always keeping in mind what you want to do but since you're more of a tagging alone vacation type, you just agree with whatever. 
You're here to relax and if you see something you would like to see or try, you'll feel open to do so. It's something you've assured him right before your body slumped into the comfiest bed you've ever laid in. Not even Jungkook's massive bed can compete with it. 
Or maybe it was the exhaustion all along.
Speaking of Jungkook, you tilt your head sideways to check on him. Not before you rub your eyes off the sleepiness. A sight of Jungkook's exposed back stares at you right back. Similar to the position you've just woken up from, he's sleeping on his stomach while arms underneath the white pillow as he hugs it to his face. You can't see his face and for a moment, you think it's better that way.
Whoever would see you right now, they would get a totally bad perception of the two of you. You look nothing like best friends who occasionally share bed.
Overthinking is not a huge part of your life. At least you think so. But ever since months have passed by and you've decided to take a break from the temptation laying right beside you, you feel like you've done nothing but that. Overthinking every second. 
You believe everything happens for a reason. And while you told yourself you're not going to overthink it and focus on your friendship instead, you do wonder if there's a true reason for why you and him ended up spending this vacation alone. 
Sure, Taehyung got injured and couldn't travel while Jimin couldn't go because of last changes at his work. It shouldn't mean more but just a mere coincidence that consists of bad luck and life. 
Like you've told yourself many times before, you will take this opportunity to focus on your decision of why you decided to take a break. Besides, you can't think about it too much and you do have to put lust aside, focusing on something that is far more sacred and important to you. 
You've no idea how long you lay there with your eyes open, watching the beautiful view out of your bed. You haven't checked your phone, something you would've done by now if you were at home. But not at the moment. You want to fully enjoy this and stay in the present – because right now it feels like you don't need anything else. 
You haven't realized how much you needed to get away. Perhaps the reason for this vacation is not to tell you something secretive, but it's for you to recharge and come back stronger than ever.
And maybe there's no reason for it. Maybe you should just freaking enjoy it and not overthink every second. 
You almost groan out loud, ready to spring out of the bed to stop yourself from thinking and being alone with your mind. The soft groan coming from the person next to you stops you and for some dumb reason, you catch yourself closing your eyes as if to pretend you were sleeping. 
Jungkook tosses around and stretches his limbs, groaning raspily under his breath as he turns to his back. He's back to sleeping, so do you think before you slowly open your eyes and catch the perfect sight of him doing the same a second after. He blinks, frowning slightly as if he realizes where he is.
Witnessing that is cute. Wait. What.
You widen your eyes and quickly shake that thought away. Calling him cute, even if it's in your mind seems illegal. Even though you've done that many times before. Years ago to be exact. 
“Mornin',” he rasps out, hand reaching to his face as long fingers rub the sleep and tiredness off those puffy eyes. 
Muttering the same greeting, you watch him close them for a moment as a soft groan makes it past his lips. “How long have you been awake?” he asks sleepily.
Long enough to watch you sleeping, you admit in your mind but it sounds ridiculous even there. You shouldn't have these thoughts anyway, no matter how honest you are.
“Just a few minutes,” you reply instead, rolling onto your back as you stare at the ceiling. 
A momentary silence has never been an issue with Jungkook. In fact, you don't find it uncomfortable but for some reason, having him so close feels weirdly familiar and odd. It's different now but it is not at the same time. You're both in a completely different state. While you realize it's in your head and sleepy Jungkook has no idea, you decide to cut off the silence and fill it with a conversation.
“It's already ten.” Your eyes drift to the digital clock that sits on the nightstand on your side. 
“Fuuck,” Jungkook sighs, rubbing his face again. “Already?”
You nod, glancing at him to find his arm tucked under his head, his face turned to you as he offers you a sleepy smile. Gulping down, you sit up and pat down your hair to make it less messy. 
“What are we doing first today?” 
Not offering him any more attention with your eyes, your feet slip into your slides easily as he remains silent for a moment. Your back burns, the traces of his eyes are without a doubt the reason for it.
“We should eat something first, then I wanna rent a car so it's easier to travel on the island. And then bungee jumping.” 
“Fuck, you still wanna do that?” you whine a little, glancing over your shoulder to find him grinning at your evident disappointment.
“You only live once.”
“That's a stupid reason to do stuff like that,” you point out.
You're all up for Jungkook having fun and trying new things he hasn't. However, sometimes your type of fun and interest differs from Jungkook's and once again, you're reminded of his adventurous self. There's no way in hell you'll go through that. He knows that.
“But if something happens to you, I want your car.”
Jungkook snorts out loud, your own lips curling into an amused grin as your feet pat into the bathroom. 
“Or no, your apartment will do.” you raise your voice as you call out to him, making sure he hears you. 
He does, along with the amusement and teasing in your soft voice. 
“How generous you are,” he calls back. “You wouldn't survive without me.”
You chuckle under your breath, washing your face in cold water. You're done within a minute, patting down the remains of it.
“Oh, here we go. Cocky much in the morning?” 
“You should know that by now.” 
You jump at how fast and close the answer comes. Jungkook stands between the door frame, leaning against the left side of it. Crossing his arms over his chest, you try to not stare too much at the display of his skin and muscles.
Reaching for your toothbrush instead, you focus on your task instead and stare at your reflection in the mirror. Your cheeks feel warm all of a sudden and you're sure it has nothing to do with Hawaii's warm weather. 
Jungkook watches you in silence. You're not sure if he still has a cocky grin attached to his lips or if he's simply just watching, but you know he is. You can feel it. And then you hear him stepping closer until he reaches for his own toothbrush. The familiar scent of him wraps around you once again as you give him a look with an arched brow. 
Is this his way of keeping his distance? 
Well, to be fair he never said he will keep his distance. Your idea of how this is going to work is simply to focus on your relationship, rather than the physical side of it and what was left of it. 
Although, you have no idea how him standing shirtless next to you is going to help that. You welcome the challenge though. 
You two ignore a lot of facts that surround you. So you continue to brush your teeth next to each other like it's the most normal thing ever. And maybe it is.
But back then none of you were shirtless or exposed enough that there is only so little left to each other's imagination. Is imagination even a thing here? 
You've seen every inch of each other's bodies. You don't have to imagine anything because you've seen it all. You've felt it all.
“Do you mind?”
You straighten up once you spit the remains of mouthwash. Jungkook turns on the shower, checking the temperature as he's visibly ready to take his morning shower. 
“Unless you wanna join me.”
It's the cunning smirk that slowly sneaks onto his face that makes you scrunch up the small face towel that's been used and throw it in his direction. It bounces off his puffed out chest and you hate how he laughs, ignoring your attempt to silently tell him to fuck off.
“Boundaries, Jeon.” You remind him.
“You never minded them before.” He continues to tease you and you snarl at him, throwing him a glare. 
“Now I do.”
“Alright, alright. Sorry.” He bows and you groan, flipping him off before you close the bathroom door with a loud thud.
His humorous laugh behind the door accompanies you long enough until you're far away to breathe it out. You'll have to do that a lot when it comes to Jungkook.
Your soft smile is caught in the reflection of a sparkling clean microwave and you quickly look away, ignoring the previously stated facts. 
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“Kook, are you really sure?” 
After you had breakfast, walked around a bit and rented a car like Jungkook said, you stand in a queue that's slowly but surely shortening. 
He would've actually laughed if he didn't glance at you and see your widened eyes, as you stare at staff putting a harness on people and preparing them for the jump. Whenever someone jumps with a loud scream, some people as a pair, he sees your breath hitching and stopping for a moment.
Of course he is sure. He's mentioned this a couple of times throughout the years but he never really had the opportunity to do this. So you're aware of not only his interest but excitement as well. 
Unfortunately for him, this is a hard no for you and even though you would do anything for Jungkook – go special lengths such as pretending to be his girlfriend – this is where you draw the line. It's comical. 
“You sure you don't wanna jump with me?” He asks instead, laughing when he sees your dumbfounded look. Is he serious?
He had to sign a freaking liability waiver that he's doing this at his own risk. While you're aware this is a standard contract for all these kinds of sports, you've almost thrown up when the woman handed it to him and he signed it. 
“Worth a shot.” he mumbles.
It's laughable as you stand beside him, shifting uncomfortably from side to side as if you were the one doing this. Meanwhile Jungkook is close to jumping from excitement as he watches other participants before him in a complete awe and excitement. 
“Have you not watched a horror movie when the most ridiculous stuff happens once people do this kind of stuff?”
He gives you a side glance, “Are you talking about Final Destination?” he stops for a second, “I don't remember there was a bungee jumping scene.”
“It's not about bungee jumping itself.” you point out, growing frustrated that he's practically just making fun of it.
“You should stop watching horror movies.”
Your response comes right away. “I would have, if you guys didn't force me every time.”
He snickers, “Y'know, for someone who's always very considerate and empathic, you sure know when to talk about the right stuff.”
“Talking about all the risks this includes is right,” you inform him. “I'm worried.”
“No one wants to hear there's a risk of a plane falling when you're about to board the plane.”
Oh shit, he's right. You know he is, yet you couldn't help yourself and hoped that he's going to change his mind at the last minute. Obviously, for your own selfish reasons.
“Flying a plane is different though.” You still stubbornly mumble, hearing another scream from one of the participants which makes you flinch. 
“The point is not,” he points out but as you open your mouth to argue, he grabs you by your shoulders and has you standing in front of him. “Stop worrying, I would do this with or without you.”
“Damn, how sweet of you.” you mutter, causing him to laugh. “Couldn't we ride horses or something instead?”
“We could still do that. After I jump.”
“Oh god, don't say it like that!” you whine. He laughs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he hugs you to his side. 
“Taehyung would jump with me.”
“Taehyung would probably be drunk out of his ass if he happened to jump.”
You look at each other, laughing before the woman's staff calls out for Jungkook. She asks if you're jumping together and you wildly shake your head at her, stepping aside as you let her put a harness on Jungkook. 
He's grinning, watching her excitedly as she says all kinds of information about safety to him. You don't listen to that. For a moment you just focus on the happiness and excitement on him that has been evident ever since you stepped out of the car.
Their conversation is a little lost on you, therefore your brows are furrowed in utter confusion when Jungkook sits down and gets his legs secured. 
“Wait–what are you doing?” you ask. 
All people before him either sat when they were jumping or they looked as if they were lying, in a flying position. Jungkook puts a helmet on, shooting you a thumbs up as he ignores your ready to flip out. 
He's being hoisted up, upside down as he grins like a kid at you. 
“What the hell, are you crazy, Jungkook?” you yell, hands gripping the railing for dear life.
You thought this center did just those positions and Jungkook flying upside down just never crossed your mind, even though you know people jump like that too. 
“See you soon.”
“Jungkook!”
But before he can focus on your angry expression, he flies you a kiss and is let go. You yelp, wincing as you his body flies into the distance in a rapid motion. You can't help but watch, your eyes lingering on what seems like a dot down there the entire time. 
“My boyfriend jumped as well, a couple of times actually.” Someone says beside you and you don't look, you can't as your eyes stay on Jungkook. But from the voice, her accent tells you she's local. “If it makes you feel better, no accidents happened here. A few people threw up but that's it.”
You offer her a nervous chuckle, not really thinking Jungkook will be throwing up. In the worst case scenario, he would want to jump again. 
“See?” She stands closer, taking a closer look as they start pulling him up and you sigh in relief. “Your boyfriend is safe. Is he the throwing up type?”
You finally glance at her, seeing her tan face and curly hair surrounding it. 
“He's not my boyfriend,” you tell her, “He's my best friend. Psycho best friend it seems.”
She laughs but her eyes linger on you, looking as if she doesn't believe you. You subtly roll your eyes. You know exactly what she's thinking. You've seen that reaction many times before and by now, it no longer phases you. 
Everything else becomes a white noise and the girl beside you is long forgotten as the cord springs back to its original space and with that, they pull Jungkook slowly up. They help him balance. Letting go of the railing, you wait for him to move aside so he's not that close to the edge as it's another person's turn. 
But none of that matters and when Jungkook finds you at your original spot, he smirks. “Missed me?”
“You idiot!” you curse, punching his chest before you hug him. He laughs, chest vibrating as he hugs you back.
“I would jump again but I wouldn't wanna give you a heart attack.”
You smack him again, giving the girl that still stands there a knowing look. Jungkook's eyes move toward her for a moment, wondering who she is but his attention is back at you as you breathe out loudly. 
“You're crazy, you know that?”
He shrugs, effortlessly running his fingers through his hair. “I'm crazy about a lot of things.”
Rolling your eyes, you nudge your head toward the exit before he changes his mind and you'll be charged for a murder. “Let's go.”
He listens, but not before he tickles your side for a good measure, earning another smack. 
He's a crazy idiot for making you worry like that.
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“Awww, you were so worried about your Kookie?”
Baring your teeth at Taehyung's huge grin that displays on Jungkook's phone screen, he's a lucky person that you're currently sitting at one of the restaurants near the beach. There are too many people for you to tell him to fuck off. 
You knew the moment Jungkook decided to accept the video call, they would have a field day. Honestly, they make the situation way more dramatic than it was. Luckily for them, you know your friends and their annoying teasing that is purely raged by your annoyed reactions. It's what makes their eyes lit up until you put a stop to their charades. 
That's what you get for being the only woman in your inner and close circle. 
You glare at Jungkook, non-verbally asking him do you see what you did?
As always, Taehyung asked about your day and since he can't be a part of it, he likes to hear details. He doesn't mind it, as he assured you many times. You still feel bad that he can't be here with you. Jimin too.
And luckily for Jungkook, he briefly mentioned you almost shit your pants when you saw him actually doing it. He wasn't really making fun of you, until Taehyung took the matters into his hands and turned it into a teasing battle that you're a victim of. 
You lean toward the table where Jungkook holds his phone, facing you as he watches your interaction with Taehyung with amusement sparkling in his eyes. “Fuck both of you,” you whisper, making sure Taehyung hears it. 
He does.
It makes his grin even bigger. 
“You should've seen him. He jumped upside down.”
“Isn't that what people do when they bungee jump?” Taehyung asks, met with another huff coming out of you.
“Yes, but dozens of people before him didn't jump upside down.” you inform him with a sass, seeing him put his hands up in surrender.
“Honestly, you're like an old married couple. You scold him and he fucking enjoys it.”
Rolling your eyes, you adjust the napkin that's sitting on your lap. It's getting dark now. Until the adventurous day, you wanted to have a calm dinner by the beach. Tomorrow's plan is to enjoy at least a half of the day there, relaxing. No adrenaline sports.
“Are you even scared of anything?” you ask Jungkook, lifting up both your brows.
“I'm scared of many things.”
“Yeah and you're one of them.” Taehyung butts in. Jungkook rolls his eyes and so do you.
“You guys make it seem as if I torture you on daily basis.”
“Well, you can be scary sometimes.”
“You know what, Tae?” you press your lips together in a fake smile.
“Wha–”
You don't give him a chance to respond, ending the call. Jungkook snickers, pulling his phone to him as he checks the screen. You sit back with a satisfied smile.
“You know Tae… He would tease shit out of everyone and everything.”
“Oh, you're not so innocent either.” you point out with a chuckle.
He frowns, momentarily pausing as he reads out a message. “He just texted me–fucking rude.”
“Send him a kissing emoji, he's gonna know it's me.”
Jungkook shakes his head with a chuckle, typing something there. He locks his phone, putting it away as it has become a strict and unsaid rule to not have phones when you're out. To be honest, it happened naturally and you're guessing, both of you want to enjoy this time without the internet. Unless it's to make calls of course.
“Besides, you were shaking when I danced on the table. You were practically shitting your pants back then–do you see me teasing you for it?”
He frowns, “When?”
“The NYE party? Jin's cabin?”
Quiet follows for a moment as the mention of one of the very significant nights comes to the surface. Not even the waves in the background can wash out the slight odd vibe in the air. So much happened there.
“You remember that?”
“Faintly, but Taehyung filled me in.” you shrug.
“That was different,” he simply says.
“Different how? I was having fun and you begged me to come down.”
“Yes, because you were wasted out of your ass. I had all safety measures taken care of, while you were dancing, wasted wearing heels.”
You purse your lips.
“So don't compare those two.”
He doesn't sound angry, he's strictly informative and you wonder what he's so defensive about. Perhaps the memories from that night aren't exactly pleasant. You might've looked like you were having the time of your life, but you were going through hell back then. 
“Damn, alright. Point taken.” you mutter, seeing him roll his eyes but his lips crack a grin.
“Just don't dance on the table this time.”
“Why would I do that?” you laugh.
“To get back at me.”
It's silly. You wouldn't do that and he knows that. There it is. It's the innocent teasing you've missed. Innocent. That's what you need. 
You still reach toward the wine glass as you gulp it down. A tight smile is the last thing you offer Jungkook before you dig into your meal.
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It's the next and second day of you officially being here. 
Over the short period of your stay, it's crazy to realize how used to you've become to the new world around you. You and Jungkook have fallen into the routine of waking up without any alarm, not bothering yourselves to set one so you could do as many things as you can during your stay. 
Both of you relax and let things happen naturally, with a bit of planning because you still want to have fun and experience fun things. It's not hectic at all. 
Jungkook drags you to learn how to surfboard and while he's a natural talent (another of course), you're having just as much fun even though you're nowhere near Jungkook's level. You taste the most delicious food until you can't eat anymore, worrying you're going to have a stomach ache if you won't stop at the right time.
Now you're laying on the beach blanket with eyes closed, listening to the waves that are always there. 
Jungkook has gone to grab you some alcohol free drinks, cold drinks, after you both agreed on having them. It's been a while since he left, so you crack your eyes open and squint at the bright sun even though you've been lying in the shade. 
You look around. A part of people playing beach volleyball, tanning or swimming in the water, you don't spot him right away. Until you would recognize his figure everywhere and from miles away. He's bringing his drink with him, staring at the sand under his bare feet and you can't help but watch him the entire time. 
His hair is still a bit wet from swimming that he decided on earlier. Jungkook knows how to relax and you've seen him relaxing more than ever here. However, he still needs to get active somehow so every few minutes, he decides to do something. It's quite laughable and adorable, considering he would be lifting weights if he was back at home. 
He's passing by the volleyball court that someone provisionally made and entertained a bunch of tourists that were looking for a bit of sport and fun. You're supposed to go jet skiing with Jungkook tomorrow, so you will save that later and just bask in the sun for now. 
Your thoughts fade away just as they naturally came when you spot a group of girls, calling out to Jungkook which stops in his tracks and looks at them with curious eyes. His mouth stretches into a smile as he nods, looking around with drinks in his hand until one of the girls points toward the little table next to their deck chairs. He sets it there carefully before he pats his hands over his swim trunks. Another girl eagerly hands him something which you soon realize is a phone.
They pose for him as Jungkook snatches a few pictures of them. Sitting in the distance for a good minute, he keeps taking pictures of them as they pose in typical poses with the beach and sea behind them. 
It's pointless to mention they're all wearing bikinis. You're not one to judge and you would never criticize their bodies but shit, they all look good and definitely stand out with their different body types. They're hot and you don't have to be a man to conclude that. 
They chat for a while and you hate yourself for growing slightly annoyed at Jungkook's absence and clear interest in whatever conversation they have. Minutes seem like hours and you look away, watching your surroundings. God, you're pathetic. You act as if your eyes don't move in their direction every now and then. 
Until you're staring at the sea in front of you and notice Jungkook's nearing. He sets your drinks down. “Here you go, but be careful when drinking. It's cold.”
Cold? All the ice probably melted until you stopped chatting with the girls.
Pressing your lips together, you nod understandingly and take a sip so you bite your tongue and don't say something that could spiral into any sort of confrontation. What's the deal? You're not even mad at him. You're mad at him for being bothered. 
It's okay. They just wanted a group photo and Jungkook was passing by. No big deal. 
You sigh, giving him a smile as you look at the nice pink colors your strawberry drink's having.
“I met some girls on my way here. They're about to play volleyball. They ask me to join, you wanna join too?”
You freeze for a second, only your eyes sending him a glance. Of fucking course.
Can you blame them though? Jungkook's hot and has been catching women's gazes every time he comes out. They're shooting their shots and who are you to stand in their way? You've learned from your past mistakes when it came to Ester or another girl in Jungkook's life. Plus, you're on a vacation and they're strangers.
“Nah, you go. I'm gonna sit here and fangirl.”
He lifts his brow, “You sure?”
“Yeah.”
He eyes you suspiciously. “I'll stay if you want me to.”
You give him a dumbfounded look. “I'm not your mother, Kook. Go have fun.” you chuckle.
“Alright.” he nods, standing up. “I'll be right there if you need anything.”
“I'm all good,” you assure him. “Go kick their asses.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “They're girls, Y/N.”
He heads back to them, unaware when you mutter under your breath; “So?”
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At first, you thought there's no reason for you to dig deeper in things that don't matter and would show overtime. You've stuck to your own little world, relaxing and checking your phone every now and then. You've also watched the volleyball game. 
Interesting to watch, you may say. 
Jungkook's in his element and you're not exactly talking about the female audience around him. Some guys joined them too and you soon realize they know the girls, or at least are familiar with them. Jungkook's team is winning. No doubt there and you find yourself smiling whenever he shoots, and the ball hits the sand on the opposite side of the other team. You silently cheer for him.
For a second you think of recording him and sending it to Jimin and Taehyung. But knowing Taehyung, he would thirst over the women playing the game rather than the real meaning of the video. Perhaps you're a bit selfish because you definitely don't need to hear about how hot those women are. Because that's what they are. 
They're women.
But you should've expected this to happen. It's what you maybe wanted to happen. It's a great opportunity to fully move on. There will be many occasions and situations like this. You shouldn't be mad.
So why the fuck your lips turn downwards like you've been kicked to the stomach?
Jungkook comes back after running with everyone to the water to freshen up. He yells something to them when walking out of the sea, grinning from ear to ear. You feel like an idiot. How can you be so bothered when he seems happy?
“Hey, they want to jet ski for a bit. You wanna join?”
Jet skiing is fun, you would go but you stop yourself from nodding because of your own partially selfish reasons. “No, you go.”
“I know we're supposed to go tomorrow and we will–”
“Kook, it's no big deal,” you laugh, “We can go tomorrow.”
“You sure you don't wanna go? They're all nice.”
You're sure they are.
“Maybe I will join you later or something.”
“They wanna play volleyball again, so you can join, then.”
“Yeah, sure.” you smile, giving him a thumbs up as he gulps more of the drink until it's finished. 
You wave at him as he joins them again, going to rent the jets. You sigh, groaning silently at yourself. A part of you wanted to join them just to stick with Jungkook. It's okay for him to have fun with someone else.
Your throat feels tight when you see the woman sticking to his side. Her caramel skin glistens under the sun rays and she looks straight out of any male fantasy. You've seen so many different models coming from your model agency, but this one takes the cake and you're not sure if she's a model. 
Her curves are thicker than the models you usually see. She's wearing a revealing bikini, her breasts almost spilling out of the bra but it's not because of that. It's because she's gorgeous. She's different from Kiko. She's different from you.
You would guess she might not be Jungkook's type. But then he looks down at her, smiling widely as he fastens her vest and something kicks inside you. 
“Hey–” 
Your head moves quickly toward the male with full on abs, nearing you carefully as he chuckles when you give him a glare.
“The guy–Jungkook?” he stops for a moment, “He told us you're his friend.”
Friend. That stings for a split second.
“I am, and?”
He chuckles, not put off by your raised brow and dangerous eyes. The man's skin is tanned and his dark wet hair is pushed back, showing you his sharp jawline. 
“And I wanted to check on you and ask if you really don't wanna join.”
Oh god, he must think you're some kind of introvert that avoids all social interactions. Little does he know you did it for your and Jungkook's sake. 
You glance back at them, Jungkook sitting on a jet ski as the girl sits behind him, hugging him from behind. Your throat goes dry and you swallow down the lump that suddenly appears there.
“Officially, you don't have to if you do–”
You roll your eyes at the familiar sentence and you grow slightly annoyed at that. You brush any sand that might appear on your moisturized skin. 
“Y'know what? I was starting to get bored.”
His smile grows and he looks you up and down. Not in the disgusting and perverted way, but in an almost challenging way as he smirks. 
“What about my things though?” you look down at your phone. 
“We can leave it in the bar there. They always look after our things when we do stuff like this.”
“Always?”
“We're here for the third time.”
“We.”
“Some of our friends. But we always meet someone new too, so they join us.” 
Just like Jungkook right now. 
“Oh, so you're the friendly type?”
He chuckles, “Not always. Just for specific people.”
And then there's the look in his eyes. Challenging and telling you more than his lips are. Oh god. He's flirting with you. 
You grab your and Jungkook's phones, not wanting them to get stolen. When you straighten and balance yourself, he holds out his hand for you to take. You slap his hand, brushing past him. “Let's go.”
You hear his amused chuckle behind you as he guides you toward the bar. After your stuff is taken care of and the staff is obviously familiar with him, you join the others. 
“Guys, someone's gonna join us after all.” He calls out and you realize you don't know his name.
Jungkook is in the middle of conversation, grinning as he looks up curiously. His smile falls when he spots you and you almost lift your brow at him. 
“Cool!”
“Great!”
“I'm Nat, what's your name?”
All kinds of questions and reactions are thrown at you. Welcoming and warm which you're glad for.
You introduce yourself, feeling a hand on the back of your back, not going any lower out of respect as the man who brought you here, guides you to one of the jets. 
“Mind sharing this one with me, Y/N?” he asks, handing you the vest. 
“No,” you say lightly and feigning innocence. “Do you?”
“Of course not.”
“You could at least tell me your name. Y'know, in case something happens to me.”
“What's fun in that?”
“So you're also the mysterious type?” Cocking your brow at him in challenge, he smirks. 
“Gabriel.”
He excuses himself for a minute, to grab his own vest as you put the one he handed you on. 
“I thought you didn't wanna go.” Jungkook suddenly says, standing right in front of you. He lightly nudges your hands as he helps you to fasten up your vest. 
You stare at him, “Changed my mind.”
“You could've told me. Wanna ride with me?”
“You already have someone to ride with.” you tell him, chuckling as you're trying your best to appear light and carefree.
“I see you do too. Doesn't mean we can change it up.”
You shrug, “He offered.”
He frowns, his eyes dropping all over your face as they stop on your lips for a quick moment. “So, you cool with that?”
“Yeah,” you say, swallowing. “It's okay to meet new people.”
His eyes snap to yours. He watches you, causing you to almost squirm in his never flattering eye contact. “What do you mean?”
Fuck, you should've stay silent. 
“Well, we talked about this earlier. We're not–it's probably for the best.”
You watch his tongue poke the inside of his cheek, a knowing look crossing over his features as he momentarily looks away before he chuckles. He rubs his nose as he backs away. 
“Okay.”
Him going back to the woman, watching her arms around his waist when they haven't even set off yet, is not the most disturbing feeling. As Gabriel joins you and you sit in the same position like Jungkook and the woman, you can't help but realize that none of this seems okay.
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a/n: Oh god. It's already out! It's been a while since I wrote an author's note & to be honest, there's so much that I wanna say. At first, I wasn't really sure what – minus of course to thank you for your understanding and patience which unfortunately doesn't involve everyone. I'm glad that this chapter is finally out! To think it was supposed to be out in summer (and it's already close to winter 🥴) and even earlier than that, is insane!! 
I don't wanna go into too much detail and make this a/n too long, most of you probably have been hanging around for a while to know everything that has happened since the last update. Life has been busy but I don't think about it negatively, even tho it obviously affects my writing schedule. I needed the hectic lifestyle. Sometimes I felt too exhausted, but I would rather take something positive from it than think of it negatively, especially since I wasn't in a good space before. 
I wanna apologize for taking so long. I know y'all have been waiting. For me, it didn't even feel that long which shows just how quickly everything has been happening in my life. There are so many things that affected it and I could literally make a list (lol) but I'm sure most of you know a good amount of it, since I've been as honest as I could've been. I know I couldn't control 99% of how busy I got. There were times when I wanted to write badly but I barely could even think of it. There were also times when I could've found inspiration and time, but then one look at my Wattpad profile or my inbox made me just lock my phone and do other things. 
I don't want to make this a/n to give off a negative vibe, because there is so much to be happy about, but I just wish some people could be more understanding. Some of them have been extremely toxic, not making it any easier for me. I'm slightly sad to admit that if it wasn't for my passion and love for this story, I probably would just pack it off because the hate and messages I got are insane. I know me saying this won't change anything – I've tried multiple times. But please for love of God, stop pressuring writers and gaslight them, or many other unnecessary and disgusting things.
But putting this aside, I wanna thank everyone who's shown me love and support – made all of this worth it. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, there is more to come and I've already started working on the next one. Please, don't ask when and how much. I don't know. I'll do my best. My goal is to post at least once a month, but this doesn't mean it will happen. I've learned not to plan much because I don't wanna disappoint anyone. So I'll just work on my stories privately and once I have something to share, I'll inform you 😊
So, yeah, that's it guys! I'm glad to be back with another chapter and hopefully, there won't be such a long wait anymore! I really wish this won't happen again for multiple reasons. Thank you for cheering me on and letting me know there are such great readers like you. I'll be forever thankful. During this story and after it finishes as well!
If you've enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee☕️: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ♡ Teaser for 59 along with a special unfinished scene (that didn't make it in 58) will be posted there!
goal: 2k notes 🌙
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© 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 (𝐧𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝) | 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: @kithtaehyung
9K notes · View notes
irisintheafterglow · 1 month ago
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itoshi sae has no idea how you do it.
classwork, homework, midterms, exams, two jobs, and a lively group of friends? it all sounds so unnecessary to him, these things that would be distractions from his dream. but for you, it sustains you and encourages you to keep going. how differently our minds work, he thinks to himself when he has a rare day to spend on your couch and you're typing away at some assignment on your laptop.
"why do you do that?" you don't respond the first time he asks and he gently calls your name, even though you're barely three feet away. you turn to him with a tired look and something pangs inside his chest. "why bother doing that?"
"bother doing what?"
"whatever it is you're doing right now." he nods at your glaring laptop screen filled with words he can't even begin to understand, some final before your university goes on winter break.
"because it's part of my degree?" there's no malice in your words, just genuine confusion, just like there's no accusations in his words, just concern. "if i fail this class, i don't graduate."
"why do you need to graduate, or have a degree in the first place?"
"because i need a job, my love," you explain patiently. "we've had this conversation before. going to school means i can get a well-paying job to sustain myself."
"why do you need to sustain yourself when you have me?" you blink at him and his blank face. the only sign of emotion is the slight pinch between his eyebrows; he was truly puzzled why he couldn't just set you up for life. dating itoshi sae is like being an unwilling sugar baby.
"i'm not going to leech off your earnings," you chuckle in disbelief. "i'm not going to use you to make sure i have a comfortable life. i love you, and my kind of love stays whether we have money or not." he shifts awkwardly in his seat and his mouth pouts the tiniest amount. he obviously didn't like your reply.
"whatever i'm doing, it isn't enough for you," he states quietly.
without another word, you exhale through your nose and shut your laptop. you place it on the coffee table before crawling over and maneuvering your way into his arms. he gladly accepts you, sliding down the couch's armrest so that you're nearly lying on top of him. it's quiet for a few moments, not in an uncertain way but in a way that said both of you were figuring out how to articulate your thoughts.
"i just think that--"
"you don't need to--" you both begin your explanations at the same time and the huff of his laugh vibrates against your cheek. "you go first," you tell him.
"i was saying that, if you wanted me to," he inhales and tries to tiptoe around what he wants to say before deciding to just crush it with his foot, "i can take care of you without you needing a degree." a certain selfish part of him wanted you there for every single victory and ladder rung he ascended, not because he thought you owed him, but because he owed you. you, who weathered his darkest of moods and harshest of snaps. he owed you for dealing with his bullshit, so he figured, why should you need to lift a finger when you've already done so much for him? "i owe you that much for everything that you've seen me through."
"you don't owe me anything, itoshi sae. loving you is not transactional, nor have i ever wanted it to be."
"everything is transactional, mi amor," he argues and the pet name makes your heartrate increase. "give and take, it's how the world flows. shouldn't your university classes be teaching you that?" your eyes have fluttered shut on his chest, but you still hear the smirk in his joke.
"believe it or not, mister 'fame is the only thing that matters to me,' there are transactions beyond material goods."
"i know that," he says indignantly. "i also know that you're wrong."
"am i?"
"yes," he affirms. "i don't only care about fame. i care about you too, obviously."
"see, sae? give and take. i give you all i am--"
"and you take all i am."
"body and soul?"
"and everything in between," he finishes, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before settling into the pillows. "rest, mi amor. you've paid more attention to school than to me lately, and that's an unequal transaction."
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1-800-local-slut · 2 months ago
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Sticky and Disgusting
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In honor of my favorite crash out, my favorite tweaker, here's how I feel like nasty sex with JJ would be. I know I was supposed to upload last night but I was bawling my heart out, so I hope this makes up for it <3
༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻
𑁍 JJ fucks, and he does it good too. He's driven women insane, married women, and single women alike text his phone about how much they miss him, how they just can't forget him.
𑁍 But since meeting you, he's elevated his skills quite a bit and knows how to get you in the mood and usually he gets horny first
𑁍 Walking down the street and sees a swimsuit he wants to see you in? Hard. Laying down and randomly thinking about you? Hard. A hug? I don't even have to say it at this point
𑁍 JJ likes listening to something that puts him in the mood
𑁍 Anything with a slow pace he can roll his body perfectly in time too
𑁍 He's willing to get down anywhere anytime, but he's the type that when he gets the chance to make things nice he will
𑁍 His favorite place is your room. You're his kook princess, and you have this fancy ass bedroom with your parents who hate him downstairs and your brother who also hates trying to tone out the noise of you whimpering JJ’s name like a prayer
𑁍 Blue LED lights, a ring light that he fingered out how to set different colors too, and now you two were fucking under a sea of velvet-colored lights
𑁍 He would take it slow depending on his mood. He's slowly rolling his hips into you, his necklace dancing in your face, and your legs are trembling while he's leaving wet kisses down your sweaty neck and whispering perversions in your ears
"Say my name, I know you can do it." "You like that? Yeah, I know you do."
𑁍 And he's so cocky because he knows no one fucks you as good as he does.
𑁍 He knows every part of you, which fleshy part of your body to press down on to have you arching your back off the mattress and wondering what you did to receive a blessing like this
𑁍 Speaking of pressing, JJ likes fingering you. He'll pull you into his lap, shirt pulled up to reveal those tits he loves so much and make out with you slowly but aggressively while he finger fucks you just right
𑁍 Your eyes are closed while he picks up the pace and he's watching you lean back with your legs shaking around his waist as his palm rubs against your clit. The room is hot and JJ's fingers are covered in cream as you let out pleas for release.
𑁍 JJ can never deny you (yes he can, he's done it before when he wanted to see how long he could edge you too and you got pissed and didn't blow him for two weeks) so he keeps going until you boil over to a finish that JJ has only seen in porn. He wished he set up his camera, so he could get that sound on video
𑁍 There was always next time. And you'd let JJ do anything to you and he loved that so much
𑁍 The first night he realized was when his hands automatically went to around your neck and gave you a tender squeeze and when he withdrew his hands an apologized, and you shyly told him to do it again. He came so hard that night his eyes hurt from how they rolled back in his head
𑁍 And it never ends with that, from there, JJ holds up his fingers for you to lick clean and because you're his girl you eagerly do it that makes JJ's heart swell
𑁍 He likes missionary. It's simple, but he gets to look you in the face while he does things to you that would kill your grandmother if she knew.
𑁍 Having you on your back while he sinks slowly into you at first just to see your reaction when he first slides in
𑁍 That warm, creamy feeling, like putting his nuts in warm pudding. He likes to go in, all the way to the base first, just to see you look in his eyes while wearing the necklace with a little 'J' around your neck that you got for your six-month anniversary that made him cry when he first saw it
𑁍 He starts rough though. He just needs too. Sometimes he eases into it, but on certain nights he just can't
𑁍 He loves when you moan his name with a gasp that says that's the stuff that you love, when you let out choked little moans of 'right there' and 'just like that baby'
𑁍 Oh and high sex? Don't even get him started. Its a little ridiculous, the way he twitches a little more and presses soft kisses all over you because JJ is a little love bug when he's high and doesn't have it in him to bruise your ass cheeks
𑁍 Angry sex. JJ gets angry, so very easily. And he loves when you're willing to let him get it out of his system on you instead of someone's property.
𑁍 He's grabbing your face and making you look him in the eyes, he's holding a firm grip on your waist while he plows into you like he was trying to fuck you to sleep (which he has done time and time again), he has you with your ass raised in the air and slapping it like a punching bag
𑁍 He's trembling from rage, and from how good you are for him, how he's shaking and his brows are furrowed while you bounce back against him. Your manicured nails are gripping the sheets, and his hand is fisting your hair while holding you into the pillows
𑁍 Don't be afraid to take control over him though. JJ likes it when you push him on the bed and sit down on his dick like it's where your meant to be.
𑁍 He wants you to ride him like you hardly care about him. He wants you to bounce up and down, nails scraping down his chest ignoring how red he's turning and how he's whimpering out warnings that he was about to cum
𑁍 When you start bouncing up and down harder, while he's twitching and trying to hold onto your hips, and you do that little grinding thing when you circle your hips around and rub up against his abs so he cums inside of you while letting out moans that were so out of character that he would refuse to admit that was him if anyone ever saw that on tape
𑁍 Drunk sex, when you two stumble in from a party tipsy and you're suddenly desperate to blow him and who was he to tell you no.
𑁍 Take him down your throat and he'll cum right there. He's done it a few times. He watching you bob your head up and down, eyes staring up at him with an evil glint in your eyes
𑁍 Leaving kisses all over his chest and down his stomach, your lip gloss and lipstick smearing down his stomach and he feels a warm fluttering feeling in his stomach
𑁍 When you both cum, it makes a mess. He likes it messy, he truly does. When he pulls out and cums on your stomach or his personal favorite is cumming on your pussy so he can't tell when your mess ends and his begins.
𑁍 When you leave a creamy ring around his base, or when he cums on your ass cheeks. When he face fucks you like you're a human flesh light and you have tears and spit streaming down your face before giving him a sloppy kiss that has him weak in the knees, when he cums so hard he drools a bit and you kiss him anyways because you love anything from him, when you ride his face like a mechanical bull and when you get up he looks like he just went down a water park ride.
𑁍 You two always, and I mean ALWAYS leaving a giant stain on your sheets, his sheets, his bike, your clothing (mostly ending up being your swimsuit or panties from him pulling you aside at a kegger and rubbing you through the cloth of your swim suit until you came and quickly had to duck before a group passing by saw you two), and it's always a terrible mess to clean up.
𑁍 Sweat, spit, cum, tears, it's a disgusting mess and by God JJ lives to make it any chance he gets
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