#i can't emphasize enough just how important it is to be able to do things for your own self so you can apply it to the rest of the world.

[noxtivagus]

woah i. wrote a lot.

[bigcowboydyke]

about your disability pride month post: is there anything important/significant you think people should take notes on when writing a character with an upper arm prosthetic? (like starting from the elbow if i phrased correctly)?

Yeah! I think the biggest is that you ought to consider first, esp if its an OC, your reasoning for making the character disabled- you wanna make sure you're not fetishizing or exploiting their disability to prop up abled characters. I've got a list of questions for authors to ask themselves along those lines that I can post or dm

Secondly, you have to consider what level of realism you wanna go with. If you have a character where, in universe, the prosthesis functions in exactly the way an arm does, you could just go with that if you want - it's the path of least resistance, right? BUT you ought to consider that most prostheses in media exist in that way AT THE EXPENSE of good representation of disability. Erasing disability or "curing" it with magical prostheses IS a form of ableism that is so pervasive it just goes unnoticed by most. I believe personally that disabled bodies are worth portraying well even when the creators of the source material did not do that. SO if you want to go with real well thought our representation, here are some common things I think authors and artists often miss (specifically as it pertains to upper limb prostheses):

1) I already said this, but seriously, I cannot emphasize enough that upper limb prosthetics ain't cheap and are usually uncomfortable. Your character, if they are poor, or even like middle class, won't have access to multiple high tech popular mechanics cover story type robo arms. Even if they did ...

2) Not all limb different folks use prosthetics! I personally have used multiple and I disliked them. I tried very hard to learn, but there are multiple requirements to be able to use each model and sometimes, a lot of times actually, limb different people - especially people without a hand or an arm function Better without prosthetics. Be aware in your art that limb different people are Whole. How you ask can somebody without an arm, say, do all that stuff?

3) Consider the idea of adaptation in your writing and art instead of relying only on magicking disability away with prosthetics. Disabled People live in a world full of barriers and tend to be Very creative about navigating it, adapting to our environment through just being a little clever about how we do things is the biggest way i see other people with upper limb differences interact with the world. There are three main ways that we go about this without prosthetics: Using adaptive equipment, Finding an alternate method, or as a last resort, asking for help.

Example 1: I have like 1.5 arms ok so obviously only 1 hand, and I need to clip my fingernails every once in a while. The obvious solution to me, while it may seem gross, is just to bite them off. Bad habit, but efficient. I could use those horrible little nail clippers, with my remaining stump and a little finagling but it takes forever. I could also get some adaptive nail clippers - they make great big handled ones for ppl that can't grab the little ones. Or, I could ask my partner to trim them, but I'm usually too proud to do that. Let disabled people have their flaws too lol!

Example 2: I love to rock climb. This is where adaptive equipment comes in. I could slip off a rock climbing wall pretty easily right? So bouldering (rock climbing without harnesses) is totally inaccessible to me. But if I go to a gym that has harnesses, then that's fine - they catch me if I fall and that's adaptive for me.

Adaptive equipment comes in many shapes and sizes and can be regular items repurposed.

3. If after all that you Must create art or write about an OC or preexisting character that uses upper limb prosthetics, consider that in general, limb different people's prosthetics are not equivalent to having two arms. Prosthetics are only practical for limb different people if they enhance your life or are useful in some way, however, getting one high tech enough to do that is unlikely because they are expensive. There are different groups, clinics, and charities that make lower cost options but they tend to be much lower tech than is depicted (and often are clunky). My first prosthetic was a long flat piece of metal, similar to a doctors tongue depressor, attached to a plaster cuff velcroed around my stump. The idea was that since I had a little bit of stump poking out, I could pin objects against the metal and it would work like a crab's pincers. It was okay, but I did accidentally smack many. Many. Things with it, including my own face and since it was metal, that was unpleasant. Obviously hindered more than helped. Also it did not look even remotely like a hand.

4. Which prosthetics you can get generally depend on what you got on you. Literally. Bodily. With upper limb prostheses, If you don't have an elbow or wrist, your options are almost exclusively limited to the pricier electric options that are both super futuristic, unavailable to many, and also like new car priced. Many of the manual, non-electric models depend on the ability to flex a wrist or elbow, so if you have those things are a little more accessible overall. It also matters whether you are born limb different like me, or if you are an amputee. Amputees are more likely to be candidates for prostheses than people like me because they have all those preexisting muscles and nerves for prosthetics that are higher tech and require surgical attachment Also prosthetics might be an easier learning curve, and more useful for somebody who has been abled bodied than it would be for somebody who never had that limb in the first place.

5. This is a little thing and ... Not to get too medical with it ( and neither should yall) but limb different people often have physical changes associated with lack of or loss of limb. If you do not have a limb, you are not going to be developing the muscles that are surrounding it in the way an a nondisabled person would. Again for example I have 1.5ish arms which means I've got plenty of stump on my "affected" limb. Even when I did Varsity sports and everything, I was never able to get beefy on that side. It is a pet peeve of mine that many people do not seem to get this - Most art I see of vash the stampede has him with two super beefy shoulders and like yeah i get it that's hot, but if hes got roughly the same amount of stump as me, he probably shouldn'tlook like that. Another thing in this vein is chronic pain is associated with limb loss and limb difference- I have it and its reasonable that any prosthetic user or nonprosthetic using limb different person is more likely to have it. Again these are little things but if you're looking to do good representation you need to consider that limb difference is not just a cool little stylistic choice to make a character look tough or what have you - limb loss and limb difference mean that that character will not only think differently than abled bodied people, but move differently, pose differently, have different routines and preferences than are ever represented in most media. Disability is not a style, and it's not a diagnosis, it's an identity. It's important above all to be respectful of that by letting go of centering able-bodied expectations and aesthetic in your art and writing. Hard to do but i believe in y'all!

Hope that helps! I've also got a bunch of links to go along with these points, if you want them lmk! I'm always happy to take asks about this stuff!

Tl;dr please consider making characters that don't use prosthetics, or don't use them excessively because it's more realistic, better representation, and makes me, a disabled dyke on the internet, really happy.

Lastly if y'all liked my advice and appreciate my time you are always welcome to tip me for it - my c*sh*pp is $neptunedrive

[yoyowrites]

shen jiu coming across lou binghe when he's out on a mission.

shen jiu is eating sat outside a shop when he spots him. he sees a small binghe begging. he's bad at it. he's smiling and shy and avoiding the best customers. there's no way he'd be able to make any profit. shen jiu considers ignoring him. he some extra coins to spare but he didn't owe him anything.

shen jiu finishes his meal and leaves his bill. he marches right up to the kid, nearly hitting an older couple that was pointedly avoiding looking in the boys direction. shen jiu drops a few coins in the jar, staring cooly at the boy. unfazed, binghe offers a bright smile. up close it was clear how tired the child is

shen jiu lets out a groan. he grabs the child's sleeve and begins dragging him. the child starts to protest but shen jiu glares and shows a pouch of money. it shuts the child up but he's still tense.

"sit, stay," shen jiu commands walking inside the shop and places an order of soup. when he returns the child is stiff but in the same place he'd left him. he sits in front of him.

they stay silent. shen jiu looks over the boy's form. he's thin, not obviously malnourished but who knows the last time he had a good meal. "name?"

the boy didn't respond.

"you have problems hearing?" shen jiu raises a brow.

"is my name needed for what you're going to do to me?"

shen jiu scoffs. "i'm not doing a thing to you other than giving you a meal."

he recieved a speculative look. "...lou binghe."

shen jiu didn't recognize the name. "and is lou binghe an orphan?"

"no," binghe gave a disgusted look that was gone as quickly as it came. he composed himself. "i have a mother."

shen jiu nodded. "but she's sick? she certaintly is not aware of her your boy doing this?"

"my mother," binghe pauses. "is doing her best."

"but it's not enough," shen jiu tapped the table.

binghe glared. shen jiu glared back.

"you're not very good at begging."

"and the honorable cultivator is?" binghe bit out.

then, the shop owner brought out some soup. they nearly set it in front of shen jiu but he gestured for it to be given to the boy. lou binghe began eating without reserve

"i was very good," shen jiu says. "i'll give you some tips."

lou binghe stares suspiciously but shen jiu spares it no mind.

"first," shen jiu began. "if a strange man tries to take you anywhere don't follow. two, if he offers you food, don't take it,"

binghe looked comical then, eyes wide, and cheeks filled with food. shen jiu nearly chuckled.

"anyone could tamper with food. then what are you left with? if a man approaches you, trying to lead you away, you run," shen jiu leaned foward, emphasizing his point. he waits until lou binghe nods to lean back. "next, always let someone know where you are..."

like that, shen jiu imparts his wisdom to the boy. the best time, best places, best ways to beg and to keep himself safe. it's widely out of character for him. yet, he can't help but think of himself, of yue qingyuan, and their bitter situation. of those holier than thou cultivators that preached peace and chivalry and the importance of protecting the weak, only to ignore those in unappealing situations. the sun was setting when they finished their talk.

"listen, kid-"

"why ask for my name just to refer to me as kid?"

"so mouthy," shen jiu frowned. "you sure have gotten comfortable quickly binghe."

"does the esteemed cultivator wish for me to be more formal?"

"lou binghe doesn't need to bother," shen jiu shakes his head. "we likely will not be meeting again. however, if you are ever in dire need. go to the Daisy's and give them this."

binghe was slightly mortified as shen jiu offered him an odd looking coin. "a brothel?"

"relax, they'll keep you safe. safer than with any of these dogs that call themselves men atleast, and they'll contact me."

"and you'll help me?"

"this one is a cultivator," shen jiu spreads out his fan to cover most of his face. "why wouldn't I be able to help you?"

binghe opened his mouth, then shut it again. he took the coin and nodded.

"it's only if you have nothing else. don't think i will show up just for the whims of a boy."

with that shen jiu stood and walked away. he didn't look behind just strolled out of the shop. he was late enough that he could hear the jabs the others would say of him. he doesn't expect to hear from the boy again. weeks pass and he's mostly able to put lou binghe out of his mind. between the terrible liu qingge, the always apologetic yue qingyuan, and his own misfailings, he didn't have time to worry abut anyone else.

then, early one morning, a disciple from another peak stops him. he looks uncomfortable and holds out a letter for shen jiu. "at least have the decency to not drag the rest of us down with your perversion."

shen jiu felt hot rage build inside him. but he took the letter before reacting. they wouldn't be contacting him if it weren't important. blood rushed out of his face as his eyes scanned the note. he left the unruly disciple with no comment.

shen jiu didn't return until nightfall. the peak was buzzing with rumors and talk. people awaited with bated breath to see what he'd done this time.

that night, shen jiu returns carrying a young boy, no older than ten, wrapped in a blanket and tightly holding on to shen jiu's robe. he paid the crowed no attention, only stopping before a befuddled mu qingfan.

"well," shen jiu says expectantly. "are you not a doctor? can you not tell when a patient needs help?"

that causes mu qingfan to jump to action. he reaches his arm as if to take lou binghe from shen jiu but one icy look stops him.

"he wouldn't let you carry him even if you tried. just lead the way mu- shidi."

[helenstudies]

These are my language learning timelines and how long I've studied to get to that level!

English: fluent C2 > about thirteen years. I started learning when I was 5 (in kindergarten). I got to this level by age 18, when I started working as a professional English - Burmese translator.

Korean: fluent TOPIK 6 level > eight years. I taught myself how to read hangeul at age 15 and achieved TOPIK level 6 in 23. It should be noted that I attended a language program in Korea for nine months to accelerate the process. I started from level 1 and ended in 4/5 in nine months.

Chinese: advanced HSK6 level > eleven years. I started learning chinese when I was 13 and now I'm 24. And no, my chinese ancestry didn't help because no one in my family speaks Chinese.

Japanese: Intermediate JLPT N3 level > nine years. Like Korean, I taught myself how to read hiragana and katakana at age 15 but I prioritized Chinese and Korean. It should be noted that I really struggled with Japanese and had to attend basic classes three times to get to an N5 level. And then twice more to get to N4.

I think this is important for all langblrs to realize! I am not "gifted" at all. I just started studying a bit earlier than y'all because I knew my life long interests are in language, literature and translation. I learned all these so that I could read books in their original language.

It should be noted that in Myanmar, I graduated high school at age 16/17. Since then, I've been attending a distance education university (before I dropped out in 2021 of course) and I've been working freelance or part time jobs. So this is an actual realistic timeline as an adult who also has a life outside of studying.

If you work full time, study full time or have responsibilities in your life that you have to prioritize, you might need to take a few years longer than me. You might even need to retake classes and fail a few tests. And it's okay.

I can't emphasize this enough so I will do this again and again: not being able to quickly learn language is not a failure on your part. Don't fall into ageist traps because you really do retain your brain functions well into your years. You can keep learning and keep improving as an adult. Look up neuroplasticity and stop listening to "polyglot" influencers.

Another thing I want to mention is in my last post, I wrote that language learning takes years and you'll just have to make these years bearable and I mean it. Just sitting down and studying for hours is annoying to me. So, I personally make it bearable by reading stories and translating songs or poems because that's what my brain likes. I like writing chinese characters but it's boring to just sit down and write them. So I write them while watching tv because I have adhd and I need to fidget anyway. My goal is to read books in their original languages so I read, read and read. You have to figure out why you want to learn these languages and see how you can make it bearable.

[ezrazone]

your portraits are really amazing and i find your ability to capture likeness + control of value super inspiring…do you think you can talk about your thought process and beginning stages behind your drawings?

yes yippee!!!!!!! these asks helped me remember to actually photograph some process steps which i usually.... Dont do bc im using my phone for reference images lol (my work setup is in a "transitional phase" rn....... im working in the kitchen. its fine) i downloaded one of these lestat gifs made by @fearwakes ! then first thing i've been doing recently with portraits is lifting something that works from my comics process and applying it to these pencil drawings. i love having borders. i almost invariably will draw outside them but it gives me something to build on top of/inside/around rather than floating to the edges of the page. i used to be really envious of people who could spontaneously produce "sketch pages" from blank sheets but my spatial eye just does not generate those pleasing distances automatically. i need boxes lol GOOD THING I DO COMICS!!!!!

i did not actually measure this box or even make sure it's straight bc i'm just turning my brain off and doing a portrait. ok step one of capturing a likeness is just eyeballing distances for facial features. like i mentioned before with spatial reasoning it's a weak point for me as an artist so i do not give myself a hard time if i cannot immediately correctly guess the distance between a subject's chin and hairline. i start with shorter distances -- chin to mouth, mouth to under-nose-shadow, then often fill in either cheek before i take a shot at laying the eyes in relation to the nose. i'm always thinking of my pencil portraits as a kind of heatmap for dark/light values, so i'm laying down the scaffolding that's going to allow me to emphasize where all those shapes ultimately bleed together as a 3D object.

there is always a stage (left drawing) where i'm kind of peripherally going oh my god. oh my god i lost it. i can't draw faces anymore. this looks like fucking garbage. oh my god. i need to kill myself. and i think it's partly just being a human person like the demons never completely shut up for anyone as far as i know LOL. but it's also sometimes coming from thinking i'm supposed to be simplifying the shapes. like if i took those guesstimates on lestat's proportions on the left and just went right to representing his features with solid black ink on top of these guidelines, it's true, he wouldn't really look like lestat even if the proportions are alright. it's important for me to remember that my sketches look very different depending on my medium and priority; if i was ONLY representing lestat in exaggerated shapes, lol, i might actually..... exaggerate those shapes. this is a sketch that is gonna work best as the preliminary stage for a fully rendered pencil drawing, not a line drawing. i just don't think drawing a subject precisely how he actually looks is gonna get you the best results for cartooning and striking that balance is a whole other thought. but for straight portraiture with an eye for value like this, it's perfectly fucking fine, cuz the thing that's gonna make him Look Like Lestat is actually how light connects over this 3D object.

like ok i no longer want to kill myself. i have successfully guessed the distances between his features "well enough" and tricked the eye into seeing something Lestat Shaped because enough of those shadows connect in ways they 1) do in this particular reference image and 2) just Do on his face in general from my broader observations of this face. this particular portrait is building on all my previous understandings of how sam reid's face is put together. so i'm able to correct a lot of the assumptions i made before i drew him enough times to start figuring him out. like Ok, his forehead is always taller than i think it is and his nose is broader (esp his nostrils). the lack of buccal fat is essential but he can also start looking too gaunt if his jaw is not wide enough. his mouth is made up of so many complex and delicate shapes and is imo his most prominent feature lol i never quite feel like i've fully captured it and idk if i ever will bc the thing that makes it so lestat is the way it actually moves. and just from Character Knowledge i'm always inclined to emphasize how heavy lestat's under-eyes are, i feel like that's an essential emotional component of his expression. sooooo i am satisfied enough with this sketch lol. this took around 45 minutes which is longer than some of my portraits of similar detail-level bc i was distracted by on-and-off sexting. many such cases. more thoughts re: pencil on paper. the next bump up from this has gotta be going BACK IN with white oil paints which i just do not care enough about this drawing to do. but when i'm working with pencil i really know the only highlights im gonna be able to bring out are the ones with much darker areas surrounding them, and the bits i miraculously do not smudge by total accident (i'm a serial smudger. fat hand. someone's gotta be endeared to this). anyway i fucking love white oils. they are everything i previously wanted out of, like, white-out and white jelly roll pens lol. it can do so much and when you're working with paint you simply have so much of it. paint rocks. like in this portrait there are a bunch of blond flyaway hairs that i simply cannot capture at this distance by carving out "blank space" either bc i do not have the skill or space to make the strands not look wildly overblown. but if i wanted to go in with paint, i'd darken up the background and just delicately go over strands until they glowed. portraiture like this is a very meditative process to me lol. i'm just falling into an image i feel is representative of something abt a face i like looking at. simple as. i do not have a concrete strategy for where my pencil goes next most of the time when i'm just feeling out shadows and translating them into pencil pressure. i know i don't wanna do the VERY darkest areas first just bc that makes the portrait pretty inflexible if i lay something down wrong (happens often) or the aforementioned smudging problem.

anyway i should probably scan this lestat but like i said i'm working in my kitchen and im disabled and do not want to walk upstairs LOL. imagine this example portrait looks good and not bad. very good

[shaniacsboogara]

i think a lot of things i agree with are already being said about watcher tv, so instead of focusing on those, i'm going to try to highlight things i think need to be reiterated or haven't been discussed enough.

first of all, i've been a fan of watcher's content for a long time. i followed shane and ryan over to the network after unsolved ended, and since then have made a TON of incredible friends and memories because of their shows. to anyone at watcher reading this, i really hope you're doing alright. thank you for everything you've done to foster this incredible community. and to anyone here in tumblr who's followed me for my watcher content or to any of my mutuals, i hope you're doing as well as you can. drink some water, get outside, and make sure you're getting enough sleep. this has been a rough time for a lot of us, and understandably so.

obviously, watcher tv is a massive change, and everyone who feels upset or disappointed is extremely valid in feeling that way. however, the calibre of hate being sent to the watcher crew is kind of horrific. yes, this could turn out to be a bad business decision for them, but that does make them evil morally bankrupt capitalists who never actually cared about their fanbase in the first place??? honestly, i think this type of commentary is doing a disservice to everyone who's trying to discuss this situation from a genuine analytical standpoint. not only that, but these are real people??? sure, they're on the internet and have probably had people send hate comments their way before, but as a community there are so many more productive things we could be doing instead of tearing down the folks over at watcher.

it is disheartening for content you've enjoyed to suddenly be locked behind a paywall, especially if it's not something you'll be able to afford. i've seen a lot of people emphasizing that artists should be compensated for their art, and i think that definitely applies here, but that doesn't mean people don't have a right to be upset. the fandom community we've built here on tumblr is incredible, it's brought so many people together and overall been so positive, fun, and welcoming to be a part of, so it's understandable that a change threatening the stability of that fanspace would make people upset. i'm not happy about the possibility of the watcher fandom dissipating after this announcement, but i think it's highly likely. watcher TV has created a divide in the fandom, and no matter what it looks like after this is over, it won't be the same. what's going to happen when most people can't access watcher content anymore??? no matter what happens, being in this fandom was absolutely incredible while it lasted.

what's my overall take on the situation??? i don't know how this will turn out for them, i'm not sure the announcement was carried out in the best way (it was hyped up in a way i don't think it should've been, a slower lead up to this could've made it more digestible), i'm sad that a lot of people won't be able to enjoy content that used to mean so much to them, but if this is a business move they think they need to make, then think i understand that. i'm no business expert, i have no idea how this will work out, but i'm absolutely not manifesting their downfall. i think it's very important to discuss this in a civil manner, to critique and analyze the effects of this situation on both the community and the company, but letting that turn into blatant hate and threats to watcher employees is WAY TOO FAR.

these are just some of my thoughts. if you want me to clarify anything or know my thoughts on specific aspects of this situation, please don't be afraid to ask!!! my only request is that this post doesn't turn into a vessel for hating on anyone, whether that be watcher or anyone posting about the situation.

[chuckeroo777]

Dungeon Meshi Volume 7 Part 1

Welcome back! Today we are covering volume 7! As always, this is a post finishing look, so spoilers ahoy!

So... does Kui have a thing for legs? I can't help but feel like there are quite a few spots where legs are emphasized, and there's even that extra where Namari accidentally reveals she has a leg fetish.

I'm still questioning where they got the stuff they already had. Where did they get the bags and futons?

Kabru. Kabru, were you so desperate not to eat monsters, that you tried eating soap?

Trust me, the real reason is a lot stupider.

Normally I'd make a joke about "Oh if only you knew," but honestly? This one panel is sexier than pretty much every piece of fanart I've seen, so for once, good job not being horny internet.

*Glances over at my succession post where I briefly touch on Marcille's and Izutsumi's reproductive situation.* Oh no, I am a Laios.

Oh boy! I can't wait to smell like fish!

An important image.

Laios: God, I wish.

An important bit of exposition that got cut from the anime. This is how the Faligon can sustain itself despite the tiny mouth.

Not gonna lie, I laughed out loud when I saw this silly thing. I recognized it right away. I was making a card game a while back involving ecosystems made of real, extinct, and fictional plants and animals, and I was having a heck of a time finding mythical/fictional plants that weren't just "fruit but real good" or "fruit but real bad" or "Walking tree". The vegetable lamb is a real standout. (And of course I had mandrakes. They were in the 'real' category, and had a special interaction with fictional creatures.)

Why didn't Chilchuck kick the staff down to Marcille? Is he stupid?

Uh, I get the metaphor, but how does this accomplish anything other than getting you more lost?

I wonder if the rind also tastes like crab. Honestly, this thing sounds great. I'd eat it.

More Kui leg propagnada.

That's an oddly specific thing to be worried about. Like, things are advanced enough in this world that basic plumbing exists, right?

I love how this stupid bell does nothing but annoy Toshiro until the eleventh hour.

Did you? Kabru did, but you just ate an onigiri, and that other stuff Maizuru made.

Falin is a proper cleric. All holy and kind and healing, but willing and able to cave in some skulls.

I love how in this spot highlighting Laios's questionable party, Kabru can't say anything bad about Chilchuck.

Another Laios parallel. Kabru also manages to rope Toshiro into his business against his better judgement.

When you overthink the metaphor and it makes way too much sense.

When you overthink the metaphor and it stops making any sense.

Kitty

Seems like a heck of a loophole. Why didn't we bring this stuff with us?

Haha, get it? Dying? Cause they can't?

I think the fact that Laios has a stronger emotional reaction to a minotaur than he does a succubus says everything really.

They mention it at the brewery too, but I like how they like the orcs. I wonder how much contact they have with the orcs? The orcs don't talk about it really. Do they just leave caches for the orcs to find? Or do the orcs vist the golden country directly? The brewer mentions the hops were a request, so they must communicate somehow.

How I feel about other people's kinks.

Senshi. You can't just drop that line without context. What do you mean? Are they grafting dryad buds to more typical plants? Or are they making horrible plant chimeras? Give me the botany details dangit!

And with that, we will continue in part two!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

You: *writes two small essays clearly, cleanly, and thoroughly going through issues you have with the writing in Miraculous, and how they affect what the show is actually saying vs what the writers are going for vs what the audience is taking away from the show, without treating the characters as autonomous people who actually exist a single time*

Someone who pisses on the poor: 'oh so you think this abused child, who was magically created from a feather, deserves to be maliciously lied to by his lifelong romantic partner and fellow 14 year old? After everything he's already been through?'

Media literacy classes should be a requirement everywhere

Thank you for your kind comments about that post. Comments like yours have been very validating after what was initially a really disheartening series of events.

I was quite pleased with what I wrote and thought that I had done a good job focusing on the writing and emphasizing that I was talking about the big picture of the narrative, not chastising or praising specific characters for what the writers had them do. But after I had multiple people go off on rants defending Alya and Adrien, I started seriously questioning my own sanity and communication skills. I even looked up the definition of betrayal to make sure that I wasn't somehow misusing it since that word really seemed to upset people. In case anyone was wondering:

Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict

After verifying that I hadn't been using "betrayal" wrong for well over a decade, I got a little annoyed and did my angry rant in the hope that it would save me from further backlash.

While it has been super validating to see that my two initial essays did in fact make sense to a good number of people, that last post did go a little viral, which I didn't see coming, so I want to take a moment to make it clear that I DO NOT want anyone go after the people who did the rants that spawned my rant. Nothing they did or said was worthy of any sort of pile on. They were just expressing opinions and that's fine. I even get it to some extent because a lot of people have unfairly salted on Alya, acting as if she's the problem and not the writing. And that can be really upsetting when you like her because she doesn't deserve those pile ons any more than Marinette does. They are both victims of bad writing!

I get the desire to treat fictional characters like real people, I really do, but Miraculous is frankly not a good enough show for you to do that. The hand of the author is far too blatant, making characters do whatever the writers want instead of what makes sense for what has been established. One of my favorite quick examples is that the writers gave us a full episode where Gabriel "proved" that Adrien wasn't Chat Noir only to have him figure out Adrien's secret identity because he heard his son use the words My Lady as if that's a super unique pet name that would make Adrien's secret undeniable.

It's all nonsense, which is why I focus on the writing issues, treating the characters like the tools they very clearly are. I simply can't do the kind of character analysis you can do in well written shows where the characters feel real and their actions make sense in the established narrative.

I'll close with this statement to explain how I try to run this blog: the characters in the show are fictional, the people you're talking to on here are not. In the grand scheme of things, nothing about Miraculous is bad enough to be worth fighting over. That's why I enjoy talking about it. With all the truly important fights going on in the world, it's nice to come on here and relax by talking about writing - a topic I adore - without having to care if people agree. It's also why I have this as a side blog. I want people to be able to avoid my content if it upsets them as my goal is first and foremost to have fun dunking on a show that is bad in interesting ways. If I only ever got upset replies to my posts, then I would not run this blog because Miraculous is not worth being miserable over. No piece of fiction is.

[horrorvisuals]

Obscure (2004)

Obscure is a survival horror game emphasizing co-op gameplay with its wide range of characters. Taking place inside a massive school building, it lets you control five main characters and is still playable on modern PCs!

Obscure gives you the ability to control any of these five characters and what's better is, that they all have different features, personalities, and abilities.

There is technically a 6th playable character but I won't say more on that to not spoil things.

As I was saying, abilities. They are pretty interesting. For example, Josh lets you know if there is anything left to do in an area. Items to pick up or things to interact with, that kind of stuff. Pretty crucial for thorough exploration. It's important in a survival horror game.

Stan cracks locks easier due to his background, Kenny runs fast and packs a strong punch, Shannon gives tips when you're stuck on puzzles and heals other characters, and Ashley is better at using weapons.

They all have their own benefits!

Obscure plays pretty much like any other survival horror game from back in the day. It features semi-dynamic camera angles, with semi-tank controls. Exploration, item management, combat, navigation, everything is here.

As a somewhat unique feature though, Obscure also lets you combine some items with others and actively use them. For example, you can tape a flashlight to any firearm in the game if you can find adhesive tape.

Aside from firearms, the game also features melee weapons and they're pretty simple to use. There is a good "feeling" to them. They pack quite the punch.

In Obscure, darkness is your enemy. If you played Alan Wake, then you might recognize its flashlight mechanic. When focus your flashlight on dark areas, you banish the darkness around those areas. You also use it in the same way to weaken the monsters before attacking them.

The character change mechanic is pretty slick too. You just press a single button and change the characters. Obviously, you don't just run around with a party of 5 people all the time. You always play in pairs.

There are, however, meeting spots in the game and you are able to change to other characters in these spots. These also act as fast-travel points and help you navigate the environment more efficiently.

Story-wise, Obscure has some intriguing moments and an overall compelling narrative. The game starts with Kenny playing basketball by himself after school. His stuff gets stolen and he follows the thief to a suspicious-looking cellar inside the school grounds.

Later on, things happen, people disappear and you find yourself in a (mostly) abandoned school. It consists of massive corridors, classrooms, underground sections, and yards, it's a survival horror fanatic's dream.

Obscure has a perma-death mechanic. If any of the characters die at any point in the game, they are out for good. Obviously, you can go back to a previous save and get them back but if you are looking for a more hardcore challenge, it's there.

I keep emphasizing its co-op play feature but while Obscure is definitely more entertaining with a friend, it's completely playable solo as well. Whichever pair you choose, the other student is always controlled by AI and they're usually pretty decent.

The best thing about all this is that Obscure is still playable on Steam. It plays well, it's compatible with higher resolutions and you can actually play co-op using Steam's Remote Play feature. It's just like couch co-op.

Its sequel, Obscure 2 is also on Steam and it's also perfectly playable. I'll make another thread for it if you enjoy reading this one.

Seriously, if you haven't played these games before, I can't recommend them enough. They are great games AND they're playable in co-op. How many classic co-op survival horror games do we have these days? Not many, let me tell you that.

Let me know if you give it a shot. I'm curious if you're gonna like it. And if you have already played it, then tell other people why they shouldn't skip this one. Here is the Steam link for the game.

It's actually on sale right now along with its sequel.

[ropebunnykant]

Sigh... re. the reaction video: I get everyone's just having fun, but here's a radical thought: how about, instead of just emptily repeating the "hate Kant not First" mantra, we normalise NOT hating Kant full stop??? Maybe I'm being over-sensitive but when a joke goes on long enough that the subject of it is getting visibly upset...maybe it's not a joke anymore? Maybe don't feed the media illierate trolls? I don't get why ppl can't see that First doesn't have to be personally attacked/criticised to still feel shit about the way viewers respond (wrongly!) to Kant.

i can understand the frustration, but i also think it is important for them to emphasize that no matter what you think about kant, it is not something that should be taken out on first. because A LOT of bl fans, namely on twitter, have a problem with being able to differentiate the actor from the character - not in a fun silly way like i’ve said when it comes to first’s characters, but in the sense that they will harass and bully the real person because of what the character they played did. and it’s insanely fucked up!

and like obviously i understand the frustration of not wanting people to hate kant, but at the end of the day, he’s a fictional character. people are allowed not to like him and to criticize him all they want. and even if someone is totally media literate and understands his motivations and why he does things, they STILL might not like him and that’s their prerogative! we can’t force them to. and that's okay! i know that i personally don't vibe with certain characters that other people love and while i personally choose not to harp on that aspect too much, some people enjoy that, and if that's what they want to do, that's fine. at the end of the day, they're not actually hurting anyone because kant isn't real. he can't read or hear anything they say, he can't be hurt by it.

first, however, can. he can read and see everything people say about first, the person, because of the choices kant, his character, made. and that's NOT okay! and while i'm sure it also hurts to have people hate on a character that he put a lot of work into and wanted to be sympathetic, it is an entirely different ballpark when people are also hating on him. it is never okay to bully an actor because you don't like the character they play, or even bully them because you don't personally vibe with them. that is a real person that can see what you're saying! you are causing real harm by doing that! knock it off!

[stranger-fanfiction-n-things]

CHAPTER 2: THE WEIRDO ON MAPLE STREET

This is an Original Character fanfiction. All Stranger Things characters and content are owned by Netflix and The Duffer Brothers.

a/n: Tommy is an a**hole. Has anyone ever felt like Diana? Where you want to say so much but the words get caught in your throat? Being envious of people who are able to speak their minds so freely. There is a little moment with Jonathan. I can't wait to expand on Diana's relationship with him. Also, the power of persuasion is Nancy Wheeler.

Warnings: Mentions of violence. Bullying. Dustin's charm.

Word Count: 2764

Masterlist

PART I || PART II || PART III

HAWKINS HIGH 

“When alpha particles go through gold foil, they become…” 

“Unoccupied space.” Nancy and I say. 

Nancy, Barb and I walk down the hall doing some last-minute studying before Kaminsky’s test. I feel jittery and nervous even though I know I’m prepared for the test with the amount of studying I did last night. Barb flips through another one of my flash cards. 

“A molecule that can—Hey!” 

Out of nowhere, Steve snatches the stack out of her hand before she can finish. Tommy H and Carol are close by snickering at Steve who walks ahead of us shuffling through my cards, mixing up the colours. 

“Hey!” Nancy calls, rushing after him. 

Barb and I follow behind stopping beside Nancy and Steve in the middle of the main hallway. I frown at Tommy H sticking his finger in Barb’s ear. She rolls her shoulders to move his hand away while Carol laughs. 

“I think you’ve studied enough, Nance.” He says, looking down at her with a smile. “I’m telling you, you know, you got this. Don’t worry.” 

It is clear he went to her house last night to help her study. I watch him shove my flash cards in his back pocket and stick out my hand. 

“Can I have my cards back, please?” 

Steve glances down at me and pulls the stack from his pocket. He hands them to me, lips curling to a small smile.  

“Sorry, I thought they were Nancy’s.”

“Thank you.” I say, taking them back. 

I walk to Barb standing beside her, far away from Steve, Tommy H and Carol and begin to reorganize my flash cards. 

“Now, on to more important matters,” Steve begins and I give him a look under my bangs which goes unnoticed as he smiles at Nancy. “My dad has left town on a conference and my mom’s gone with him, cause, you know, she doesn’t trust him.”

“Good call,” Tommy jokes. I wrinkle my nose at the comment. Steve ignores him staring at Nancy expectantly. 

“So, are you in?”  

“In for what?” Nancy asks. 

“No parents? Big house?” Carol says, her tone is laced with condescend. 

“A party?” 

“Ding, ding, ding!” 

“It’s Tuesday,” I blurt out. 

“It’s Tuesday,” Tommy mocks me. “Oh my God.” Carol and Tommy laugh at me. Steve smiles nudging him. 

“Come on. It’ll be lowkey. It’ll just be us.” He emphasizes us to include Barb and I. “What do you say? Are you in or are you out?” 

Never in a million years did I think Steve Harrington would invite us to his house much less for a party. I look at Barb. It’s obvious Steve only invited us because he knows Nancy will not go to his house alone. I stifle a groan at the thought of hanging out past school hours with Tommy H and Carol. I would much rather study for Kaminsky’s test again than do that. 

“Oh, God. Look,” Carol says interrupting my thoughts. 

I turn around and see from across the hall, Jonathan Byers pinning a piece of paper to the bulletin board. A missing persons photo. My stomach is in knots looking at the photo of Will smiling. I haven’t spoken to Jonathan since finding out about Will’s disappearance. I don’t know what to say or how to be there for him. I can’t begin to understand what Jonathan is going through right now. I’ve known Jonathan for nearly as long as Nancy and see him around at school. Our brothers are best friends but I barely talk to him. 

“Oh, God, that’s depressing.” Steve mutters. 

“Should we say something?” Nancy asks. 

“I don’t think he speaks.” Carol replies, chewing obnoxiously on bubble gum. I want to take the piece of gum out of her mouth and throw it at her. 

“How much you want to bet he killed him?” Tommy mumbles.  

I flinch stepping back on my feet. Barb touches my shoulder looking down at me with concern. I close my eyes again counting down from five and take a deep breath, but I don’t feel any better. If anything, I feel worse. For Tommy to insinuate something so vile is a new low even for him. 

“Ignore him, Diana. He’s just being a douchebag.” Barb mutters. 

I stand rigid under Barb’s touch, squeezing my eyes together. My stomach clenches from the force of my restraint. 

“What’s up with you, Princess?” 

I open my eyes, turning my head to Tommy. There’s a playful glint in his eyes that reminds me of a predator stalking its prey. I clench my jaw finding his amusement appalling. He’s challenging me, knowing I won’t say how I really feel. I never do; no matter how many times he taunts and provokes me. I feel Barb drawing circles around my shoulder in efforts to keep me calm. 

“Nothing.” I mutter under my breath. 

Tommy grins, satisfied with my answer. I shake my head feeling disappointed in myself. His brother, my little brother’s best friend, is missing you insufferable asshole. The least you could be is compassionate. I want to shout at Tommy H, but again I stay silent. Why is it so hard to say how I feel? Why can’t I stand up for myself? I look at Nancy talking to Jonathan. Nancy is always brave and not afraid to take risks. She always speaks her mind and is unapologetic about it. I can’t hold eye contact for too long without wanting to disappear. I have been dancing at The Academy my whole life and I still struggle to make friends. 

My chin trembles and I bite my lip to keep from crying. From the corner of my eye, I feel Steve watching me and it takes everything in me to not look at him. Thankfully, the bell rings and I blink several times to push down the tears threatening to fall. 

“Are you ready?” she asks. 

I lift my chin, forcing myself to smile. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Attention, faculty and students. At 8:00 pm, tonight, there will be an assembly on the football field in support of Will Byers and his family. All are encouraged to attend. Volunteer sign-ups for search parties are still available in the office. 

I look over my shoulder at Jonathan. He lingers by the bulletin board staring at the picture of Will. Sensing someone is looking at him, he turns his head meeting my gaze. I bite my lip and wave at him. Jonathan lifts his hand in acknowledgement before walking out the front doors. 

WHEELER RESIDENCE

I stare at the white ceiling with my knees bent to my chest. I extend my left leg outward, keeping my right knee bent and begin to draw circles with my knee. I breathe in and out deeply, relaxing my muscles in my hips to feel the stretch. Coming straight home after school is something I will never get used to. I don’t know how Nancy can stand it after having a specific routine all her life. Home. School. Dance. Repeat. I feel restless. By now, I would be finished barre with Madame Petrovna and ready for rehearsal. I close my eyes and switch my leg to repeat the stretch. 

“Diana.” 

“Hm?” 

“I was thinking,” Nancy begins, her bed creaks and I can assume she’s moving closer. “…about the party tonight.” 

“Oh, no.” I groan, opening my eyes. 

Nancy is perched on her arms, peering down at me from her bed. She bites her lip. 

“We should go.” 

I release my leg sitting up on my elbows. My long hair unravels from its low bun. “No, no—” 

“—You, me, and Barb!” 

“Absolutely not.” 

Nancy gives me a puppy dog look. 

“Why not?” 

I sit up, crossing my legs and unwrap my hair tie from my hair. “Because I don’t want to.” 

“Why not?” Nancy whines. 

“Will is still missing and if he was abducted, the person who took him could still be out there.” 

Nancy sits up, rolling her eyes. “Oh, c’mon.” 

“I’m serious, Nance.” I say, combing my fingers through my hair. The fact that they still haven’t found Will scares me. “Besides, my parents won’t let me go to a party on a school night.” 

“Just tell your parents you’re sleeping over tonight.” 

“They’ll know I’m lying! I don’t have any clothes to wear.” 

I stand up and walk to her floor-length mirror, observing how I look. It was colder today and I feel extra cozy in my oversized baby blue sweater and matching leggings. My white socks are frilly and soft against my feet. I pull the waist band higher on my torso before fixing my hair. Nancy pushes herself to the edge of her bed watching me. 

“Please? I don’t want to go by myself.” 

“I’ve never lied to my parents before.” 

It’s true. I haven’t. I have a really good relationship with my parents and would never want to betray their trust. I’ve heard stories of other kids getting into bad arguments with their parents, some even got kicked out of their homes. The thought of talking back to my parents was just that. A thought. I can’t imagine doing it. Mom and Dad don’t argue. At least not in front of us. Barb says I’m a goody-two shoes, but I just don’t want to ever disappoint my parents. 

“You won’t be lying because when we come back from the party, you can sleepover anyways.” 

I give her a look through the mirror. I refuse to lie to my parents to go to Steve Harrington’s house. It was clear he only invited Barb and I because he knows Nancy won’t come without us which puts us in a compromising position. 

“Do you have any ChapStick?” I ask, brushing my fingertips against my lips. 

Nancy reaches over to her nightstand and opens her drawer. She stands up from her bed and hands me the ChapStick. I pull off the cap and apply some on my lips. Nancy watches me from the mirror with her hands crossed above her chest. 

“What?” I say, eying her. 

“If Barb comes, will you come then?” 

“Sure,” I shrug, rubbing my lips together. I know Barb doesn’t want to go either. 

“Fine. I’m calling her right now.” 

Nancy sits on her bed with her blue phone on her lap. She quickly punches Barbs number and picks up the receiver. On the third ring, Barb picks up. I stand with my hands on my hips waiting. 

“Barb!” Nancy exclaims, looking at me. “I’m trying to convince Diana to go to Steve’s party, but she’ll only go if you go.” 

I hear Barbs muffled voice. Nancy deflates. 

“Told you.” I mouth. Nancy sticks out her tongue. 

“C’mon Barb, please?” Nancy begs. She waits for Barb to respond. “Because I don’t want to go by myself. You’re coming, okay? I want you both there with me.” 

I turn back to the mirror to fix my hair again. 

“Barb, it’s not rocket science. You just tell your parents you’re gonna stay at my place afterwards.” Nancy says. “No, tell them we’re…studying or actually,” she smiles. “There’s going to be an assembly tonight for Will, tell them you’re going! That’s a better excuse. They won’t be suspicious. Di and I are going to tell our parents about it.” 

My jaw drops. This can’t be happening. 

“Nancy! Diana! Dinner!” Mrs. Wheeler calls. 

“Coming!” Nancy and I reply. 

“I’ll see you in an hour, bye.” 

I am speechless as Nancy puts down the phone. She grins at me, squealing in excitement. 

“I really don’t want to go, Nance.” I whine. 

“C’mon, it’ll be fun!” She says, walking to her door. 

I highly doubt that. I follow behind Nancy feeling a little betrayed by Barb because now I have to lie to my parents to go to a party. As I enter the hallway, I hear Mike, Dustin and my brother quietly arguing in a circle about what? I don’t know. Upon seeing me, Mike perks up waving frantically. 

“Hi, Diana!” 

I wave cautiously. “Hi, Mike.” 

Lucas spins around, eyes wide in alarm. “What are you doing here?” 

“Well hello to you too,” I mumble, wrinkling my nose at his tone. 

“I’m sorry. Hi!” he greets. “What are you doing here?” 

“I’m hanging out with Nancy…” I squint at him and the boys. They seem weirder than usual. More antsy and fidgety. “What’s up with you guys?” 

“Nothing!” Lucas responds quickly. “We’re fine. Just really hungry, right guys?” 

Mike and Dustin nod their heads in unison. My frown deepens and I look back at Nancy who rolls her eyes. 

“They’re so weird,” she mutters. 

Mike and my brother run past us, except Dustin who lingers, with a gummy smile on his face. 

“Hi, Diana,” he greets shyly. 

“Hi, Dustin.” I smile. 

“You look very pretty today.” 

“Aw, thank you, Dustin. I like your hat.” 

His cheeks turn pink. “Thank you.” 

“Please stop hitting on my sister.” Lucas hisses, standing at the top of the stairs. He scowls at Dustin. If looks could kill…

“I’m not hitting on her. I’m complimenting her.” 

“Please stop complimenting my sister.” 

“I can’t.” Dustin says walking past Nancy and I. “I’m a gentleman.” 

“You’re gross is what you are.” 

Another day. Another quiet dinner. Mrs. Wheeler made meatloaf, with mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner. I sit across from Nancy beside Mr. Wheeler. He seems to be the only person at the table enjoying his dinner. I feel bad because Mrs. Wheeler always makes good food, but I can’t stop thinking about this stupid party and the fact that I need to call my parents. I smash a green bean with my fork watching green juice ooze out in between the grooves and peer around the table. Mike, Dustin and Lucas have been weird since I saw them upstairs. Usually, they were loud and obnoxious when they’re altogether. They’ve barely said more than three words to each other since dinner started. 

“Something wrong with the meatloaf?” Mrs. Wheeler asks. 

“Oh, no. I had two bologna sandwiches for lunch.” Dustin answers with a smile. It slowly fades. “I don’t know why.” 

“Me too.” Lucas adds, smiling politely. 

I squint. Lucas told me upstairs he and the boys were hungry. I glance around the table again at their long faces. Mike looks the most dejected. I sigh inwardly, feeling sorry for the boys. Maybe the disappearance of Will was beginning to weigh down on them. 

“It’s delicious, mommy.” Nancy says, though she has barely eaten as well. 

“Thank you, sweetie.” 

Nancy plays with her mashed potatoes. “So, there’s this special assembly thing tonight for Will at the school field. Barb’s driving.” 

“Why am I just hearing about this?” 

Here we go.  

“I thought you knew.” Nancy says innocently. 

Mrs. Wheeler shakes her head. “I told you; I don’t want you out after dark until Will is found.” 

I give Nancy a pointed look. I would vocally agree with Mrs. Wheeler if I wasn’t sucked into Nancy’s plan. I still believe it’s not safe for anyone to be outside. 

“I know.” Nancy agrees. “I know, but it’ll be super weird if I’m not there. I mean everyone’s going.”

Mrs. Wheeler turns her head. “Are you going, Diana?”  

I quickly nod my head. “Yes, Mrs. Wheeler. My parents said I could.” I lie. I hate how easy it feels. 

Mrs. Wheeler is quiet for a moment and I am waiting for her to burst out yelling at us for lying to her. Instead, she sighs shaking her head. 

“Just be back by 10:00pm.” 

Nancy smiles. The little food in my stomach turns to lead, but I force a smile on my face.

“Why don’t you take the boys, too?” 

“No!” The boys shout. 

“Mmm-mmm,” Lucas hums, shaking his head. 

It’s the most life I’ve seen in them all dinner. Nancy and I look at each other and then the boys. My brow arches in suspicion and I watch Mike reach for his glass of milk. 

Mrs. Wheeler’s eyes widen in disbelief. “Don’t you think you should be there? For Will?” 

All of a sudden, Mike is blowing milk all over himself and Dustin is slamming his fists against the table. Lucas looks like he just saw a ghost. Holly is crying. Nancy is annoyed with Dustin for making Holly cry. Mrs. Wheeler looks taken aback but is too distracted by Holly to ask any questions. I’m trying to wrap my head around what happened and Mr. Wheeler is still in his own world enjoying his dinner. 

NEXT -> PART III

[bettafishblr]

Fish ownership on a budget:

Do your research before you get the fish. I cannot emphasize this enough. It may not seem like a budgeting tip, but you WILL waste money going in blind. You'll buy stuff you don't need, buy the wrong thing and have to replace it, hurt your fish and need to buy treatment, etc. Sick fish are expensive fish, and it's not fair to make an animal suffer because you're impatient.

Save up and buy supplies gradually. This allows you to wait and find the best deals, as well as avoid the shock of dropping $200 on fish tank stuff all at once. Impulse buys are not your friend.

Buy the tank and filter first, if possible. You'll want to start your cycle as soon as possible, since it can take awhile (weeks) depending on tank size. I'll make a post about what that means later, but trust me, it's important.

If you live where there's Petco stores, wait until they have their Dollar Per Gallon sale. It is what it sounds like; a 10 gallon tank (good size for a betta) will cost you $10. Capitalism stupid, so make it work for you.

If you don't live where there's Petco stores, you might try buying a used tank. Garage sales, Ebay, Facebook Marketplace, whatever. Make sure it can hold water before buying, and clean it well once you get it home.

Some folks will try to sell you a tank at the price they bought it for; do not buy at that price if you can help it. Wait a bit longer and there will be someone who's selling at a more reasonable price. Fish tanks do not have high resale value once they have been used.

Guppies are a popular beginner fish, and they breed a lot. Most livebearers do. Don't slut shame them, just get a big tank, or all one sex. All females might still bring about fry (babies) as they might be pregnant when you get them. All males will still need a good sized tank as you need a lot of fish and a lot of plants/decor to avoid fighting.

If you've got a friend with guppies, you might be able to get a few for free/cheap. I am not kidding when I say these guys breed a lot.

"Feeder fish" are often priced cheaply, but they may not actually be a cheap fish in the long run. Goldfish need very large tanks, and a strong filter as they produce a LOT of waste. Feeder fish in general may also be sickly, partially because of poor breeding, partly because of how easily disease spreads in the stressful situations they are usually kept in. That's not to say they can't be good pets, but be aware of the risk.

If you're going to buy it often, buy it in bulk if possible. You'll usually save money that way (Exception is food if your fish is a picky eater. Nobody wants to be stuck with a fucking gallon of fish food your Gordon-Ramsay-In-Fish-Form refuses to eat).

Embrace the ugly. You may have decided to get a fish for the aesthetic pleasure, but you must remember that it is a living being above all. Fish tanks can be beautiful, and there's no reason they shouldn't be! But if you can't manage pretty and healthy, it is your responsibility to prioritize the health and wellbeing of your fish, whether the tank looks how you want it or not. You might like to be able to see your fish at all times, but if having limited hiding spaces stresses them out, give them somewhere to hide.

[skylaryozora]

Power of Silence: Musa's Voice Loss Arc in Season 6

While rewatching Season 6 and getting to the episodes where Musa loses her voice due to Rumpelstiltskin, following Selina's command, I couldn't help but wonder if there might be a deeper meaning to this particular arc.

It's often said that when you lose something very important to you—whether it's your health, a loved one, or your fortune—only then you're likely to gain a new perspective on life. Events like these force you to take the time to reflect, become more perceptive, and reorganize your priorities.

In Musa's case, her voice, described as powerful and rare in nature, along with her perfect pitch I imagine, is likely something she can't imagine her life without. I dare say these two complement her as a human and a fairy. When she loses her voice, she's quite devastated, and feels vulnerable. However, she still manages to conduct an orchestra and create a magic shield powerful enough to protect her school, so it's obvious she can still thrive without being able to speak.

The voice loss arc turns out to be crucial for Musa and Riven. First, let me quote what Riven said:

Riven: Musa, that was incredible! I mean it! Even without a voice, you put on the most amazing concert. You saved Alfea. I just wish I could be half as remarkable as you. I wasn't able to save your voice, and I couldn't be there for you once it was gone. You deserve better. (...) Musa, there's something I've been meaning to get off my chest. I'm supposed to be there for you every day, to support you and protect you as a Specialist and as your boyfriend. But right now, I'm just not capable of doing either one of those things. (S6, EP23)

What I'd like to emphasize is that I can imagine Musa would have interrupted Riven right away in the past, expressing her unwillingness to see him or something. However, now she can't do that, and she's somewhat compelled to listen to what he's saying. This situation forces her to pause and listen attentively, gaining a deeper understanding of Riven's sentiments. Additionally, Riven might feel it's his opportunity to speak and convey his feelings, now that he has a chance to be heard. In this moment it's his turn to fill the silence with something he has to say. And what he says is connected to how he currently feels about himself as well:

Riven to Sky: I give up. You will always be the leader of the Specialists. And I will always be runner-up. (...) It's not just this match, Sky. No matter how hard I try, or how close I get, I always come up short. If I don't change something, I'll never reach the top. (S6, EP23)

Riven to Musa: I guess I just have to figure out a way to be a hero to myself, if that makes sense. You always got me, Musa. (S6, EP23)

I must confess, I was moved when Riven mentioned that he needed to find a way to be a hero to himself. This single line serves as further evidence of his internal struggle, where his ambitions clash with the deep-seated issues of low self-esteem and an inferiority complex. It seems that witnessing his girlfriend lose something precious, and being powerless to help her, became a breaking point for him. In the private moment they share, he admits that he is far from being the person he aspires to be—not just for her but for himself as well. This revelation underscores the depth of trust he places in her. He can reveal his vulnerability when Musa's around, so there is a profound beauty in that scene.

Despite the numerous plot absurdities, with the season feeling very disconnected from S5 or S4 as if the previous seasons never happened, and acknowledging that the arc itself could have been explored more effectively (I won't delve into the entire portrayal of Rivusa in Season 6 and its issues), the core concept of Musa losing her voice was still commendable and essential in my opinion.

[ednito]

Why don't you care for/dislike Rogues the Postcast? /gen /nm

Sorry for the late answer bestie, been busy with work LMAO

I'll give a bit of a general trigger warning, there's gonna be mentions of abelism as well as sexual assault and homophobia.

It's really hard for me to really begin and where to start with my issues with the series, I'm very passionate on the topic of mental illness and abelism and I have close friends who just HATE this series with how it promote these abelist ideas and jokes and it makes me very emotional. It's very personal for me, it devastates me to see that codot (hopefully unknowingly) promotes these stigmas that effect my friends, myself (self diagnosed though mind you) and other people who suffer from illnesses like DID, psychosis, schizophrenia, ect.

Let's look at scarecrow first. Obviously, he's portrayed to have an 'evil alter' that in it of itself is an abelist stereotype towards DID. You can have villains have DID of course i mean you can literally look at twoface or the ventriloquist! But what separates those two from scarecrow is that those two have always been bad people, excluding their illnesses. (Of course ventriloquist is questionable as an example as in some continuities he's shown to be possessed but I'm not getting into that)

Oh but that's just the thing- apparently Jon doesn't have DID (I was told this by a friend) and so that automatically fixes that issue right? It's not like there's been other illnesses that's been villainised to have 'evil alters' or 'evil personalities' right? /s /lh /nm

Ok but no like seriously, that doesn't fix the issue like at all. You can't just blatantly write an abelist stereotype and turn around and say "actually he doesn't have that" like you still wrote it. You wrote that into your canon you can't just go back and rewrite that to be better.

I also have issues with Jon's character in general. He's incredibly out of character but I'll get to that in a lil bit.

Another character that has abelist writing is Jervis. From what I've read of transcripts and what I've heard from Friends who've read the transcripts/listened to the podcast it's clear that Jervis is written to have (or implied to have) something along the lines of psychosis or schizophrenia (or something similar) and while that's not inherently bad the fact it's written that he constantly hears 'the voices' and that he's constantly dissociating to think properly (think like how you see 'insane' people swing back and forth on the floor mumbling nonsense) and bestie that's not how that shit works! If I remember right to he literally admits to shitting and pissing in his cell in arkham and???? That's just gross????? Don't get me wrong arkham has continously been a horrible place so I'm not exactly surprised but also like??? That's still so gross and incredibly out of character??

And listen, I'm not trying to dictate on how people suffer from their own illnesses and stuff. But I just, I find it so horribly written? I'll use myself as an example. Personally (which I genuinely hate having to talk about) I do occasionally hear voices to varying degrees and idk bestie. I just, it's hard to explain and again this is personal but its just gross for me. And I acknowledge my situation is different from other people, but it's still weird to see in my opinion. I have a friend who can vocalize these issues way better to me but tldr it just pushes abelist ideas.

There's a two other things about Jervis I feel is important to point out. One I'm way more able to vocalize my issues on.

Theres a moment in the podcast where Jon and Jervis question whether harley is a natural blonde and Jon suggest that Jervis goes and check Harleys pubic hair while she's sleeping, and that she'll never know if their quiet enough. (to which Jervis gets his ass handed to him after a failed attempt if I remember right) which, I don't think I need to emphasize that sexual assault isn't funny. I'm positive it was written as a joke because I can't even fathom the idea that codot would have been serious on writing that. I can't in my right mind see how this is funny to begin with, as someone who has been sexually assaulted I just. I genuinely don't understand how people can just sideline this- how codot thought it was ok to joke about. I just don't understand I genuinely don't understand. And this goes back to how out of character everyone is (including jon), how unnecessarily mean Edward is to Jervis is genuinely uncomfortable, especially with how Jervis is written to be constantly dissociated (or that's how it feels) which makes that whole joke even worse as it slips in abelism!

I also don't understand why in the hell Jervis tetch is homophobic- of course I've only heard this second hand but considering how Jervis's written in this series I wouldn't be surprised if I'm right. But nonetheless, the decision to make Jervis homophobic is an extremely bold decision considering Jervis is canonically a queer character in DC. For YEARS it's been established that he's either queer or bisexual/pansexual of some sort and has even been in some of the recent DC pride collections! If I remember right he even has his own story! So it's so disheartening to see that he's written to be so out of character and to he so hateful when he isn't! And what's crazy is that I'm not even a big hatter fan!

I'm sure there's more issues to be pointed out but right now I've been dissociating really hard and I'm very emotional and I'm just finding it hard to to continue this tangent really and it doesn't help I'm at work. And even excluding this I just have issues from the whole scarecrow sexyman poll thing and ive already stated about my medical issue. I feel like that in it of itself is a valid reason to not like it LMAO.

Also I apologize that this is over the place, again at work and completely dissociating throughout this so a HORRIBLE combo LMAOOO

I'm sure codot is fine person and I'm not at all trying to cancel or start anything. It's just disheartening to see so much abelism go unchecked! Honestly if codot just did his research on these topics (and stopped joking about sexual assault) then I wouldn't have such a huge issue. But he hasn't, and it doesn't feel like he's gonna.

Feel free to correct me if anything I've stated has been wrong though! I don't at all mean to spread any misinformation!

P.s. don't give me the whole "oh he's just one guy and this is just a simple fan project" bullshit when that doesn't excuse anything. I'm literally one person making my fan story and I'm over here reading medical textbooks and doing my research because I understand a lot of my interpretations NEED that research and it's so easy to put in abelist ideas. It's genuinely not hard to do research.

[retracing-my-steps-again]

Spider-Man: Expiation Ch. 2 Notes

My author and story notes on Ch. 2 of my spidey-deku fic (fic linked below)

Spoilers for Ch. 2 below

Author Notes:

I swear this whole fic is not just explaining and backstory. It's just the set up/origin chapters that have so much of it. There's plenty of action and dialogue to come, my friends.

I have a whole additional thing I want to say about the quirkless allegory but might just make that a separate post? I'll still link it to the fic I just think I have too much to say about that to put it here.

I feel like every single time I've gone on social media for MHA I see takes I disagree with, usually involving Izuku and Katsuki. They're surprisingly massively misunderstood characters. At least, that seems to be the case to me. I don't spend a whole lot of time online anymore though, so maybe that's changed. I hope to do the canon characters justice in this, even though it's both canon divergent and a fanfic (obviously).

I hope people are able to trust this fic a bit on character development. Since this isn't the same as the canon, I can't develop anyone in the same way but I do my best to do it accurately and with respect to canon. I also add in lots of parallels which showed up surprisingly often as I was writing all this. Hopefully that will keep people on board if they feel I'm not doing a good job? They'll be like well this is nothing like Izuku... oh wait here's a parallel I guess he's sort of like Izuku. Idk haha

Also, I wrote out an additional scene for this chapter that was literally just the beginning of the manga from Izuku's POV. Specifically, the beginning parts where he's in class the day of the sludge villain attack. All his classmates want to be heroes, Katsuki wants to go to UA and is pissed Izuku wants to as well, and then the whole exploding Izuku's notebook and Katsuki being like perhaps a hard reset via a swan dive? I didn't include it because I was worried it would be too boring to simply repeat a whole scene from the canon. I don't really do that anywhere else in the fic, I just considered it here because it's one of the few scenes from the manga that occurs before the canon divergence of this fic. I feel like it's a good starting point for Izuku and Katsuki's characters as well, and it would help emphasize how bad their relationship was at the beginning.

I still might go back and add it in. Mainly because even though it's in the manga, it feels like people seem to misunderstand that whole scene more than most. People are welcome to their bad takes, but I just wanted to establish a baseline for this fic, which is best done with my own interpretation of Izuku's thoughts during that scene. Idk I can't decide what to do about it. I feel like not including it and including it could both cause problems in different ways so idk we'll see

Also, no hate to the nickname "Kacchan" but I have to write it so many goddamn times in this fic and it sort of drove me insane. Actually, for the entire first draft I wrote Katsuki instead of Kacchan (unless Izuku was speaking to him of course) because I didn't want to type "Kacchan" that many times. However, it is technically Izuku's pov so I knew I needed to toughen up and just write Kacchan. I love the nickname in the context of the story and I think it's important for the sake of showing how Izuku views/wants Katsuki as a close friend throughout the years despite their issues. That being said... idk man. I'm gonna get hate for this for sure. Kacchan is Izuku's name for him and no one else uses that name in canon so even though it's his pov I'm like bro why tf am I calling him Kacchan? I don't know him like that. Blech idk how to say it but anyways I fixed it by now I just had to rant about it somewhere

Story Notes:

Funnily enough, out of every chapter I've written for this fic, this is one of the ones that makes me the most nervous for how I've written Katsuki's and Izuku's characters.

The difficulty with this fic is they've had this massive traumatic event right at the start. In this, the Izuku who is injured is all but exactly the same as the Izuku at the very start of the manga. He's had none of the development he gets from meeting and training with All Might. He's gained none of the confidence that he gets from training with his idol and getting a quirk and getting into UA (which might not seem like much at first glance ? but it actually seems to do a lot for him). In canon, Katsuki's character development mainly begins when he gets to UA, which he also has not yet done in this fic by this point.

So while I don't think I've written them incorrectly necessarily, they did feel somewhat OOC sometimes when writing because there's not really a canon reference at this point in time in any capacity. It's completely unique in a lot of ways. I could probably write a whole essay on why, but I won't bore with the details. I don't think they're actually OOC to the best of my ability, but I worry they come across that way. Largely because they probably seem really different from canon. So I worry that I'm starting off the fic and them acting strange might put people off. Hopefully, people stick it out and can see where I'm coming from both during the chapter and as time goes on. Also I tried to drive home how extreme the situation is, so hopefully people can at least give any uncharacteristic actions the benefit of the doubt for now.

I did a lot of revisions for the "apology" at the end. Again, there's no close reference in canon for something like this so I got stressed about it lol. Katsuki's apology in canon comes after a lot of development and is driven by very different motivations and understandings than this Katsuki. My references are my understanding of his character and comparisons to irl life experiences both for myself and others I know so idk I tried my best.

I've been writing this fic for a really long time so sometimes I forget how dark and dismal the very beginning is. Izuku has a rough time, and there's the beginnings of his mental struggles in this. I'll talk about it some more when I post about the quirkless allegory.

Honestly, as much as these first two chapters are a lot of explaining, they are pretty important setup for everything else. Because this fic is already so goddamn long I try not to include anything unless it has a specific purpose for the story

I had more thoughts but my laptop is trying to end itself so perhaps I will add more later if I remember to :)

[spectralstitions]

oc thoughts and goals for 2025

Posting this here because it feels like the most informal place to dump some thoughts.

First of all I thought I'd mention that I change stuff about my ocs so often and post so infrequently that maybe like 95% of what is on this blog is outdated. So. That's great.... I'm truly using this blog to its fullest potential....

Second of all...... 2024 was a fantastic year for me in terms of unraveling my artistic mental blocks, but the problems I have with my ocs remain more or less unchanged. These blocks are difficult to describe, but they stress me to the point of being unable to draw my little guys or develop them much at all. Nor have I been able to make new ocs, as I feel a need to "complete" the pre-existing ones, as if they are each individual projects. As a result I've felt frozen; I'm not able to do much with them, and I can't so much as talk specifics about them with my friends because it stresses me out so much. The blocks exist not for a lack of trying to unmake them, and overall, you could probably say I made some progress this year as a byproduct of working through my art issues. But like with those, my oc problems are enigmatic and figuring out the root of them will be just as difficult as solving them. It took me over a year to identify and rewire the mentalities that rendered me unable to draw much, so I figure the timeline for my ocs will look similar.

The extent to which I get worked up over my fictional people is very silly and I'm well aware of this, especially because it's completely invisible to everyone else. And I wish I could get it through to myself that It's really not that serious, they're just ocs, they're supposed to be fun, because it works for the few characters I have that AREN'T story related. But when I was a kid I placed so much importance on having clearly defined characters with a structured, set-in-stone story to the extent that it felt like the only point of my life. And now I realize, I don't have much capacity for creating stories or characters in that specific way, but the pressure remains -- because honestly, what else do I do? I love drawing characters, but I only get emotional fulfillment from drawing the same ones over and over again. Which is a way to do it if you can create stories and/or find ways to invest other people in them, but that's always been a weak point of mine, and my motivation to work on it is very low because I'm not even really interested in doing that anymore. I keep revamping and changing things about my characters because I'm trying to come up with a structure that singlehandedly fixes what's happening in my mind and lets me fully engage with my characters again, which I realize now is never going to happen. Even if my structure is to have no structure, that's still an expectation of something that I put on myself that doesn't much affect my thought process or workflow. And although I can recognize this, I can not emphasize enough how difficult it is for me to break out of a system-setting or structure-making mentality like this. It's just completely unnatural to my character. It took at least a full year of trying nearly every day to rewire myself for my art, and this problem is far more relevant to my ocs than it was to art.

So.... what do I do then? Well, that's kinda what I want to figure out in 2025. OCs used to bring me more joy than anything else and I miss that. Like I mentioned before, there are little things that have improved this year, even if only marginally. I've been able to draw a few characters consistently, giving me something of a reference point to study. Those characters being -- my human AU of Jesper and Lily and, primarily, my sona. In both cases, allowing for vagueness and exploration of ideas to the point of lore/story contradictions has been extremely helpful. My sona in particular is a good example of the type of character I think I need to start making more of; they actually have a good amount of lore to them, but I sort of just pick and choose what pieces I care about for any given drawing so that I'm not stressed about depicting them "perfectly" -- because there is no perfect version of them, there's practically like 5 different versions of them. But I think of them as just 1 character, because their core concept, personality, and design motifs remain. Importantly though, and what makes this mindset very hard to follow for pre-existing ocs, is that I cannot LITERALLY pick and choose what lore to follow for a given work, or else the problems happen. It has to be unintentionally thoughtless, which is incredibly difficult for me, especially when I've already artificially placed so much importance on "making something" with my ocs. How can I treat them thoughtlessly when they're supposed to be so important?? Well, somehow I need to walk back a lifetime's worth of conditioning, so that I can realize, or rather, so that my body can realize, they're not actually so important.

I think my favorite way to have characters is to base them around a concept or topic that I have fun exploring many facets of very deeply (whether exploring an unconventional relationship type, untapped potential for particular symbolism, or something else) and to give them a core personality and set of design motifs. And then doing whateverthefuck with everything else. These allow me to fulfill a touch of my desire for structure, give me the means to express myself, and the means to form the emotional bond I need in order to get the dopamine hit that I need in order to draw anything in the first place (this is a whole nother problem and why I rarely make non-character art, though hypothetically I'd love to; it's just mentally hellish). And because of the vagueness, I get the dress-up doll aspects that keep me motivated to do things with them and have fun exploring things in new ways. But it's not without drawbacks, the main one being that communicating the point of my ocs or their deal to other people becomes very confusing and not super possible, and I can never make any consistent functional story with them, which is somehow both incredibly freeing and also really hard for me to grapple with for previously mentioned reasons and makes me feel bad about myself and my life.

It's almost pointless to include any ideas for solutions I have right now, because more than likely I'll drop them after a week when I realize they don't hit right, but... I'll talk about my newest one, since if I go through with it, it'd be more of a tangible example. Going into '25, I'm considering letting go of the idea of a strict world setting / species categories / specific lore etc. entirely and instead create a sort of vague, implied world through isolated artworks of characters and scenes. This way, any implied setting or lore is just the result of what was in my heart the day I drew the thing, causing development to happen more naturally and allowing me to retract, reinterpret, or reorganize things very easily. Not to mention this would coincide very nicely with my 2025 art resolution and inherently get me to draw more, because the art itself would be the "world", and everything would only exist so long as I drew it. It would also be easier to tie into my identity, which is a big motivator for me when it comes to making art and characters. My characters and lore would essentially just become part of my art style, whereas they currently feel separate in my mind. And It's a possible way to trick myself into doing non-character illustration, since I will have an emotional bond to the world, where I can draw things that aren't just the same characters. Is this making any sense to anybody?? It'd be the caspar cinematic (artistic?) universe. Straight from my soul. Imagine it... Reading this back, this is probably just how most illustrators naturally work actually, which should tell you how bad my brain has gotten....

As for what any of this means for the blog, I don't really know? I'm so anxious when it comes to putting any of my character's information on here because I know it'll just change and then the 2 people who read it will have the wrong idea of my characters and I hate that.... this is why I don't use it much. But now that I'm thinking of it, maybe making myself do it anyways, even though I do not want to, could be part of the solution. Getting myself used to posting stuff even knowing it probably won't remain true for very long, and not putting disclaimers on everything apologizing for it... could maybe help rewire my mindset a bit. I need to revert to my middle school days of making ocs to random songs and throwing them all into a universe with no rhyme or reason. I used to have the time of my life sharing them with other people.

In conclusion i need an audhd diagnosis.