#i can't decide what i think bison thinks of kant's expression

[deliriousblue]

THE HEART KILLERS (2024) episode five

[akkpipitphattana]

okay sooo, this is actually part two of a post dissecting the boat scene because i have far too much to say about it, you can find part one here.

where i last left off, i was talking about how bison is asking kant to answer him after asking who forced him to work for the police, which gets us to this moment.

lauren @sunsetsover already talked a little bit about this moment here, and to reiterate what she said, this is the first time in the show where we see kant actually ask for something he needs.

now, in the early episodes, i talked a lot about how kant needs control and how he doesn't really ask for things. his tactic tends to be just taking, and again, it goes back to those control issues. and it's funny because kant, in so many ways, is a walking contradiction. he has had to be in control of everything since he was a child, a young child, which we learn in this scene as well. his control issues aren't him being an asshole, it's a coping mechanism. he's had to have everything under control, has had to have everything on his shoulders since the moment his parents died. and yet, at the same time, kant has never had any ACTUAL control over his own situation. his parents died and he was forced to take on the role of father, parent, caretaker, for babe who couldn't have been older than two or three, if that, when their parents died. and since that, every decision he's made has been a product of taking care of babe. he probably never went to college because he had to take care of babe, he never had dreams or goals because he had to look after his brother. he stole cars, he became a police informant, all so he could take care of babe, and he didn't actually have a say in any of it!

kant hasn't had a choice in anything, and he's never actually asked for or done anything for himself.

but in this moment he does. in this moment he has to. so he asks bison, in his still deadpan tone, to calm down. he tell him he'll explain everything if they get on land, and he tells him that he's scared of the ocean. this is kant at his most vulnerable, his most open, begging bison to listen to him - not just when it comes to the truth, but about what he needs in the moment. the camera pans back to show us the water again and then kant looks and some emotion finally comes back when he does, and you can see the fear in his eyes again as he tells bison he's scared. but of course bison doesn't listen. why would he?

who cares what you need, kant? who cares what you want, kant? you hurt him. you betrayed him. you told him you loved him and you lied. at least that's what bison believes.

you can see kant slowly starting to come back here. the fear and guilt slowly coming back into his expression after he'd been completely blank.

and bison lays it on thicker. tells kant how much he's hurt him.

and i think this right here. this is when kant decides to stop speaking entirely. this is when he realizes nothing he could possibly say is going to fix this. nothing is going to get him back on land. and maybe he deserves that, doesn't he? for what he did? for everything he's done?

bison asks kant outright if he gave him the necklace because he loves him but kant can't answer. not because that's not exactly why he did give bison the necklace, but because he knows bison won't believe it. kant could get on his knees right now and tell bison everything, the whole truth, but bison wouldn't believe it. bison has already made up his mind that kant never loved him, he'd be talking to a wall. and that hurts. because he knows he fucked up. he knows he lied. but that necklace was real. that necklace was kant's burger pin. he gave it to bison like he gave bison his heart and now bison is dangling it in front of him as if it's proof of the opposite.

and god this little sequence right here, too. the way bison is yelling and he's angry but he's just so hurt too. you can see it on his face in the second screenshot. he's asking because he needs kant to tell him that he doesn't love bison. that he never did. because maybe then it'll make it a little easier to put a bullet between his eyes. but kant can't tell him that. because it's not the truth. because yes kant lied, yes kant betrayed him. but loving bison was never the lie. bison is holding the proof of it in his hands, even if can't see that.

kant takes a breath here and god, again, you can see how resigned he is at this point. he can't answer bison, doesn't see a point. he knows there's nothing he can do to change bison's mind. if he says he does love bison, he'll call him a liar. and lying isn't an option anymore - not only would it not get him anywhere, but he can't do it anymore. he can't physically lie to bison anymore. he's done. there's nothing else he can say.

then bison throws the necklace in the water and tells kant to go get it and oh the fear is back again, and the heartbreak too. i think kant was thinking, hoping, that bison would just shoot him. but instead you see him realize that bison wants him to jump in the water instead. that bison wants him to drown for this. to spend his last moments in absolute fucking terror.

and god this might be the part of the scene that got me the most. kant looks at the water and he doesn't see the water in front of him. he sees a suitcase from the plane crash and he hears himself calling for his dad. he might very well be having a ptsd episode or getting close to one.

kant is so terrified in this moment but he looks at bison and bison tells him to go and kant has a choice here. for once, he has a choice. he can jump in the water like bison wants him to, or he can let bison shoot him for not listening. and the crazy part is, you would think the man so panicked over this water would choose the gun, the quick and painless way, but even here before bison threatens to push him, kant is already starting to step towards the edge. he doesn't even need to think about it. because he deserves this, doesn't he? he deserves to die in sheer terror and fear because of what he did to bison. and at least this way, maybe he can die with bison believing he loved him. maybe he can prove himself in his final act.

but he still can't actually bring himself forward yet. because he's still fucking terrified of jumping in, of what will happen. because all he can think about is when he was a kid and he almost drowned in a plane crash.

i've reached image limit again, but you can find part three here.

[hurlumerlu]

Thank you very much for your thoughtful answer to my ask! I enjoyed every point you made! I think your first explanation in particular (avoidance) was where my mind went, too. I thought in the reblogs maybe there was some confusion, so to clarify: I was referring to the scene just after Kant's woken up, when Bison flat-out asks him what's up with the ocean thing and Kant dismisses it as just a regular phobia. And that specificity is the main reason I suspect it will be revisited (not necessarily in any detail but I think Bison will find out), because they didn't need to include that brief exchange, but to choose to have Bison ask and Kant deflect, especially when it's something the audience has only just been clued in on... I don't know, seemed deliberate, but maybe it's wishful thinking cos I need everyone (both fictional and real!) to understand what my poor guy's gone through! (I still go back and forth on whether or not his dead parents will end up being connected to all the other dead parents! Can't decide, and can't decide if I want it or not!)

I might be partially responsible for the confusion, as I got carried away and referenced other moments in the episode, like all the Babe mentions or the safeword scene... sorry about that ^^" That being said, I think Kant's later talks and actions are very congruent with his first scene of the ep, hence the temptation to link the two. He's on an incredibly even keel for that entire episode! but that's not what you're talking about. (as an aside, I love that you summarized in one word - avoidance - what took me one rambly paragraph to express)

Man, I understand you so much about wanting everyone to know what he's gone through. I've spent all the earlier episodes wanting to grab Fandom by the lapels and shout don't you see how trapped he is??? Tbh even if he had never actually fell in love I would still feel bad for him. So yeah, I get it. If we see someone (Babe, Bison, Style, even Fadel, anyone!) get angry on his behalf, I will be so happy. And you're right that it feels deliberate that they chose to, like, adress it while not adressing it. But is it because they'll go back to it or was it simply to clue us in on his state of mind? No idea!

(for the whole dead parents thing... idk, a plane crash seems a very different m.o. than just gunning people down, so I would lean toward "unconnected." but I feel very neutral about either possibilities, though I think "connected" would be harder to pull off well.)

Closing this post with a picture of Kant being the little spoon, because yesterday my friend was saying "but when is it Kant's turn to be spooned and petted on the head and comforted?" and while I think the caretaker role was healing and comforting for him this episode, it does not mean that I don't want to see him being taken care of not like that Fadel! drop the gun!

[hurlumerlu]

I do remember one scene where he's alone, doodling a tattoo on his bed all sweet and smitten, and we've had moments of him being left alone in a room and the camera lingering on his pensive/wary/calculating expression (especially in ep.4, right after Fadel reveals Kant's past, and when Kant leaves to get supplies and Bison is left alone to bug the shop look around) and personally I think both of those are the genuine Bison.

(and this is where i kinda wander away from your post and use it as a springboard for my thoughts, sorry. you love me though.)

I think Fadel was the guy with his emotions on lockdown (worked out super well btw, good job buddy). Bison lets himself feel, but is doing so slowly, cautioulsy, and - I believe - putting up numerous safeguards like bugging the tatto shop. He's chosing to trust Kant, not because he is blinded by love, but because that's actually what you do when you start a relationship (romantic or otherwise): you decide to believe the other does not have the worst intentions toward you. You take a leap of faith. (except Bison knows he can't afford faith, all he can do is hope for the best/prepare for the worst) Fadel and Bison both are acutely aware of the vulnerability that comes with loving someone, but where Fadel concluded "therefore I really should not love" and is still, I believe, battling himself, Bison decided "I need to minimize the risks". Hence all the pleas for honnesty, hence also, I think, the threats, the reminders he's not to be fucked with and hence why he bugged the tattoo shop. It's not gonna work, of course. In the end, Bison is still going to get his heart broken, no matter how cautious he's actually being. He's still going to be blindsided because he did chose to love and trust and let himself be vulnerable, and I think he overestimates how in control of his heart he actually is. But maybe he'll have managed to keep his brother and himself safe, and that will be something.

You know I'm thinking also. We get shots of single main casts where they show their true feelings and reasoning for all but Bison. I'm pretty sure Kant, Style, and Fadel all have had scenes where they're alone and you get to learn the amount to church they're lying, but Bison has only ever been on shared scenes as far as I remember. We get hints of him being incredibly perceptive but we don't know what he's doing alone at home, while we know Fadel is emotionally tortured by his crush for example.

[deliriousblue]

THE HEART KILLERS (2024) episode three