#i can't believe we ALMOST missed the date my god

[vellichorom]

once upon a time. 2 years ago. tommy & i had a funny little roleplay with our freshly baked stannar ( pre-goreguts ) with some friends in which my narrator got dared in a group truth or dare game to choke down warheads ( the candy ). which he then forced down stanley's throat,

YOU'VE SEEN THE FIRST 3 IMAGES, BUT NEVER THE REST. until now

HAPPY ACTUAL BIRTHDAY OG STANLEY PARABLE! SORRY ABOUT ALMOST FORGETTING. ALSO THE BASTARDIZATION

( stanley / beta rosemary belongs to @tomiechu! they also did the coloring of the top images 💛 )

[vomitdollzz]

Remember Our College Days

Pairing: college female reader x college art donaldson

Warnings: very little plot, cavity inducing fluff, p in v smut

Reminder: Do not plagiarize my work!

How was it that you got here again? You nearing the end of college with your bestfriend since highschool, Art Donaldson. You two have been getting closer and closer durning your shared time together, the “coincidence” of sharing a dorm only speeding things up. So there you were, sitting on your dorm floor with Art. Reminiscing on the fond memories you two shared. “Oh gosh, It isn’t my fault you fell into the pool! It was totally Tashi’s..” You say teasingly as you playfully nudging Art’s bicep. “Don’t give me that bullshit you totally pushed me in!” He replies back with haste as he grins stupidly ear to ear. “And i’d do it again. It was worth it seeing you flop around like a wet dog’s first time swimming!” You say laughing loudly to your own joke as you notice the way Art’s face slightly blushes as he moves slightly closer to you. “You know… I am going to miss these talks with you.” Art says seriously as he looks up to you with puppy dog eyes. 

You move to lean against his shoulder as your hand travels to play with his curls. “I will too Art.. guess we just have to make the most with the time we have left.” You say, slightly hinting towards something hoping that Art will pick up on it. Were you two dating? No, but that didnt stop you from having a massive crush on him. “And what would that entail?” He asks curiously as his hand snakes around your waist pulling you impossibly closer to him. Unbeknownst to you, Art knew very what you were implying. He just liked the way your face turned bright red and you stutter over your words when he says things like that. He’s known that you’ve liked him and he’s liked you too, it just seemed like the time was never right to tell you. Now however, was the perfect time.

“Well.. I- I really dont know..” You say nervously while fiddling with the hem of your shirt. Art moves his face towards yours as he looks up at you. “Y/N.. you can tell me the truth, you know I like you too I mean how obvious can I make it.” Art says reassuringly but not stoping himself from teasing you. Your eyes widen in shock as you slightly recoil backwards hitting your head on the bed frame while doing so. “Ow shit! Art are you serious! Now you tell me after all this time!” You say while muttering small profanities to yourself. Moving his hand to cup your head to help ease the pain, Art sits in front of you on his knees. “Hey you can yell at me all you want later.. Just be careful ok? Can’t have you being so clumsy all the time.” He says jokingly while also being slightly concerned towards wether or not you were okay. "Are you joking? About liking me?" You ask slightly not believing what he says. "Of course I like you, why wouldn't I?" Art says while rubbing your head gently, feeling slight remorse for not confessing his feelings earlier.

You look into his eyes as he leans in closer to you. His hand now traveling from your head towards your jaw as he cups your head. "Can I... kiss you?" Art asks almost nervously. Your heart is beating quickly and you're sure your face is beet red. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to ask me that." You say, thanking god that this wasn't all some sick joke. Art kisses you gently at first, slightly whimpering as he tastes your cherry chapstick on his tongue. But he can't help himself from being more aggressive with it. Moving your body with his hands so that you're sitting on his lap as he fiddles with the strap of your tank top. "You taste so good.." Art mumbles against your mouth while he licks a thick stripe against your tongue. A loud moan erupts from your mouth as you make quick work with unbuttoning his shirt. Your hands are quick to rub against his chest as he moans at the newfound sense of contact.

"Do you- fuck- do you have a condom?" Art asks almost hurriedly as he pulls your tank top off in one quick motion. You are quick to get up and get a condom out from you bedside table. Art watches you intently the whole time focusing his eyes on your curves and the way you fumble around clumsily. You unwrap the condom as Art quickly removes his shorts, his boxers the only thing stoping you from finally fulfilling your fantasies. You watch as he struggles to get his boxers off, whimpering slightly at the friction he gets from removing them. You straddle him before spitting on his dick and stroking it gently to prepare him. "Fuck y/n your making me feel so good already. I cant believe this is actually happening." Art moans out loudly as he whimpers at the slight touch you're giving him. 

You finally manage to put the condom on and slowly begin to sink your body down on him. Loud moans come out of your mouth as you struggle to catch your breath. Art's eyes watch the way your cunt stretches against his thick member, he feels himself already getting close to his orgasm as you bounce up and down slowly. "Holy fuck.. I'm not gonna last long if you keep doing that." Art says moaning as he watches the way your face contorts at the new feeling and the way your cunt squeezes around his dick when he makes eye contact with you. His hands travel onto your hips helping to maneuver you up and down faster. "Art im gonna fucking cum if you keep going that fast.. slow down!" But Art can't help it, he's too focused on the pleasure as he ruts his hips into you making you feel impossibly closer to your orgasm. Your whole body is burning hot and your eyes swell up with tears as you feel yourself cumming against his cock. Art is quick to follow, loud moans erupting with a warm sensation filling your cunt. You slow down your motions as you try to catch your breath. With Art still filling you, you feel his dick twitch inside. You lay your head down on his chest as you adjust yourself slightly, earning yourself one last whimper from Art as he tries his best to calm down. "We still have two more weeks you know... I think we can do a lot more than this." Art says teasingly as he rubs circles on your back lovingly. You laugh slightly as you reply, "I'd like that a lot." 

[zenlesszonezero]

As the conspiracy reaches its finale, the Void Hunter joins the fight.

Uncover the Conspiracy in Zenless Zone Zero's All-New Version "A Storm of Falling Stars", S-Rank Agent Hoshimi Miyabi is here! With S-Rank Agent Asaba Harumasa Limited-Time Giveaway! Pre-register to obtain additional rewards.

[taehyunsluvr]

Baked goods

Warnings: nsfw, afab!reader, sub!taehyun, meandom!reader (?), premature orgasm, oral (m receiving), not proof read, shitty plot, kinda brat taming if u squint real hard

Lmk if I missed any <3 !! MDNI !!

Summary: Your work friends have tried to help you succeed in your love life but it never seemed to work out. Until you meets your neighbor who's innocence intrigues you.

Word Count: about 2K

a/n: Ik this is shitty I've never written a fanfic before so I'll try doing different plots than basic ones like this (This isn't proof read so sorry for dumb mistakes lol)

You looked down at your buzzing phone. Is this why you always set 17 alarms? Because none of them could wake you up correctly? Either way you sighed deeply and flung your legs over the edge of the bed. The cold wood floor of your new apartment, the open window with a gentle breeze, everything about your new life was perfect. Except one thing. Every one of your friends, AND I MEAN EVERY ONE, had started getting into relationships, and here you were, in your apartment, alone. The only good part, was you had your options open. That was something only single people could do. Naturally. You sighed, got ready for work (which was one of the only things keeping you going at this point), and left your new apartment in a hurry. Sleeping through you alarms definitely didn't help with your time management.

You finally got to work. Your once clean and put together hair was now disheveled. At work you don't have many friends, but the ones you did have were the best you could ask for. As soon as you walked to your desk, your two coworkers and best friends decided to talk to you. "Hey Y/N do you have a date to the wedding?" One of them says. You look up at them, "No I don't why do you ask?" Your other friend answers, "We were just curious cause the wedding is next week. We wanted to know if you were coming single."

The two of them sit down on the opposite side of you. You can't say no. They're both too sweet. But what you really don't understand is why they would assume that you're gonna show up single. It almost made you annoyed. "No. I'm not coming alone." you say, making both of them look at each other. "Then who are you bringing?"

You shrug, "I'm bringing my boyfriend. You've both met him before."

You can't believe yourself right now. You lied about having a boyfriend. You didn't even know that there was going to be a wedding. You think about retorting your lie, but you don't think that you can because they were way too excited. "I knew it! I told you she would have someone."

The blonde girl, Winter, says to the black haired boy, Huening Kai, Hyuka for short. "Yeah yeah. I'm just surprised that she hasn't told us anything about him yet." Winter puts her hand on your shoulder, "I can't wait to see the guy you bring. If hes not hot I'm kicking him out." "I want to meet him." Hyuka says as he stands up. You nod.

"Why did I do that.." You say to your self as soon as you leave work. They're probably not even going to believe you once they meet your 'boyfriend'. You don't know how but I have to come up with someone or something. Then literally just as you're thinking that, you crash into something tall and hard.

"What the hell..?" You say as you back up and look at the man you just bumped into. Is this a romcom? How is he so handsome? And how did you just happen to bump into him right now..

You pray to whatever god gave you this chance in your head.

"Watch where you're going." He says coldly. Maybe you weren't so lucky. He was a bitch. A brat. But you played it off. It didn't really matter how he acted. That wasn't important. You try your best to put on a nice face. "Oh no! I'm sorry. Are you okay?" You ask him. He steps back, dusting off his clothes. "I'm fine. But watch where you're going." "I'm so so sorry." You say, reaching out your hand to brush off his jacket. He looks at my hand, then back at me. "No, it's fine. Just watch out next time."

You nod and look him up and down. He's very attractive. You could definitely take him to the wedding. But what if he already has a girlfriend? There's so much to consider. "Um, are you still here?" He says, making you snap back from your thought. "Oh yeah. Sorry. I was just thinking." you reply, careful not to break your composure.

"So uh.. Would you mind giving me your number so we can keep in touch? I mean if you're okay with it." You say. Seriously? How fucking corny was that. He looks at me.

"Why would you want my number?" "Well because you're cute and I'd like to get to know you better." "Really?" He laughs but clearly is flustered. A slightly smile

"So would you be willing to give me your number?" "Yeah sure." He takes his phone out and types something on it. He hands it to you, "There you go." You add the number reading the name " Kang Taehyun" on his screen. You completely forgot to ask for his name before. You walk away and to head home. Was this a dream or real life. You can't believe you just asked someone for their number. If you didn't already tell Winter and Hyuka that you had a boyfriend you would have totally been bragging to them about this.

As you walk, you realize that you're both heading in the same direction. Is he stalking you or is it just a coincidence? Maybe getting his number really did raise your confidence a little but too much.

"Are you stalking me or something?" you say, laughing.

He turns his head, "No, I'm not. I'm just going to the same place as you. But thanks for the offer." You scoff. "I own the bakery down here."

You're slightly taken aback by the fact that HES a baker. You would have thought he was a personal trainer, a model, something like that. "Lets walk together then." You pull him by his arm to be closer to you. He doesn't move away. You get to the bakery's front steps, pausing before he invites you in awkwardly. "We're closed right now but I need someone to test some of our new recipes anyways. This was your chance. You could possibly make him fall for you so you could take him to the wedding. So you take the chance to ask him if he's in a relationship. "I'm guessing you don't have a girlfriend..?"

"No. Not at the moment."

"A handsome guy like you should have a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Whatever you're into." You sit at the bar of the bakery crossing you arms while leaning on the cold table top. He has basically no reaction. Is this guy celibate or just extremely experienced to the point nothing effects him. "Thanks, but I'm not interested in dating anyone at the moment." You ask "Why not? You look to be around that age." "Because I don't want to. I'm only 22." He answers while sorting through the different options of baked goods. You hesitate. You want to act how you usually would around guys, but thinking back on your past experiences maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

"Why? No guy wants to be single."

He looks confused by what you meant. "So you've never gotten to third base in other words. I could tell by how many times you've checked me out." You threw the entire friendly girl act out the window, even though he invited you into his bakery out of his own 'kindness' after hours. "I- No I didn't.. Im just.." He says stopping his movement, tensing up while dodging your eyes, moving them to various objects around the shop.

"Give me a break. You're too obvious. At least try to be conspicuous about it." You run your fingers through your hair while teasing him. The dimly lit bakery almost seemed to help push the mood in the direction you were hoping for. You're enjoying this. Usually the guys you talked to before would start getting defensive and concerningly aggressive if you spoke to them this way. But he almost seemed to like the way you were talking down to him. "Take off your apron." You meant it to sound like a request but it ended up sounding like a full on demand.

He stayed silent and surprisingly complied. You raised an eyebrow. Did you misread him for a virgin? He gave in too easily. Either way, it didn't matter. Bringing him to the wedding wasn't your goal anymore. He slid off his apron, and you burst out in a laughter.

"I knew you were a pervert. You really are a virgin. This is too funny." You stood up and walked around the counter.

"Im not a pervert-" His words were cut short by the force of you hand on his hardness. He could barely form a sentence. His hips bucked shamelessly into your touch.

"How are you explaining this to me then? Use your words. I'll stop if you want, but I know you wanted this." He didn't even bother to respond. His head fell onto your shoulder, and you could feel his warm breath on your skin.

"No I... keep going.." He says between bated breaths. He let out a louder whimper as you gripped his cock. He leaned back up, his bangs messily covering his eyes. "Please.."

You stopped and unbuttoned his work trousers, they fell to pool around his ankles. He definitely wasn't small. You weren't confident you could fit it all but you had already left all your reasoning at the door as soon as you entered. You kneeled down, and without hesitation took his whole length down in one go.

As you slowly moved, you could sense how sensitive he was. His cock was begging for attention, twitching at every small movement you made. He was moaning softly, and breathing heavily. You pull your mouth off, teasing his tip with your tongue. You digged your tongue into his slit and swirled you tongue around his swollen glistening tip. He let out a strained moan. Even though you couldn't see him, you could already tell that he was a nervous wreck. You forced his length back down your throat, taking whatever you couldn't fit into your hands. You could feel his hands almost grabbing your hair, but as soon as he felt you slightly halt he moved them firmly to his sides. He shivered profusely. His whimpers grew louder.

"Wait I-" Without warning you feel his hot seamen spurt out onto your tongue-- and also practically all over your face. It was sweet, with a hint of saltiness. You could tell he took care of himself. "I-I'm so sorry I didn't mean to.." You wipe the bit that got on your face and stood up.

"Open your mouth."

"Huh? Why-" You pushed your fingers forcefully into his mouth, hitting the back of his throat. He gagged around your fingers and moaned lightly due to the sensation. You pulled them out slowly, wiping his saliva on his own shirt. His face glistening with sweat as it beaded on his forehead. His hair was sticking to it, but it somehow made him look cuter.

"You're so kinky for a virgin."

His eyes slightly widened on your judge of his character.

"Not at all! You just- it was so sudden.." His was still breathing heavily from his intense premature orgasm. You helped him pull his work pants back on. You couldn't believe you escalated the situation this far. The scent of the baked goods somehow managed to mask the lewd scent of cum that was usually so pertinent.

"So.. do you have any plans in the next two weeks?" "Not really.." He was still attempting to retrieve his composure. You could tell he wanted more, but you weren't seemingly willing to comply. "There's a wedding coming up and I want you to come with me. My coworkers are quite literally dying to meet you." "Why?" "They think we're dating." "And why would they think that? We just met today.."

"Because I told them we are.. and you should repay me. Even if you wasted my gift on that weak excuse for an ejaculation."

[mins-fins]

★̲ YOU HAVE ONE NEW VOICEMAIL FROM . . . 나재민 !

SEPTEMBER 9, 00:22 AM

HI BABY!! okay um before you purge me and murder my entire family i'm sorry for not calling you yesterday.. it was after the first show and i was exhausted but anyway, how was the concert? did you enjoy it? do you think i did well? do you—[a small shout is heard from behind him] I AM NOT "WHIPPED" SHUT UP! ignore chenle he doesn't know what he's talking about, is it bad that i love my dear partner so much? he's just sad and lonely—AM NOT!— ARE TOO! STOP YELLING AT ME!! you're gonna come tomorrow right? if work doesn't keep you in that is, god i hate your job, and i miss you, i miss you so bad, it's going to be hard to do this when international tour dates start, all we have connecting us is some stupid phone..[another shout is heard from behind him] OKAY FINE! it's too late, we have to wake up early tomorrow, alright bye i love you! sleep well!

NOVEMBER 23, 22:45 PM

haechan totally tried to trip me on stage today, that little shit..anyway, hi baby!! sorry for the like— two calls every week but it's been so hard to find alone time for myself these days, i really like japan though, we should come here sometime for a trip! just me and you, maybe on one of my breaks, if i can even get one. i miss you, having jeno as company is beginning to get boring, i mean, i love jeno obviously but i see him every single day!! i'm literally about to go insane without you here, i'm about to pay for your flight here and make up some excuse to your manager about a family issue or something.. will they even believe that? i don't care, it's been a while since we went anywhere together, just the two of us, also, did i tell you your mom called me? apparently she really liked our performance, she called me to tell me about it!! anyway um, i have no time left, hope you have a good night, i love you!!

NOVEMBER 26, 02:09 AM

jeno snores way too loudly, so no sleep for me, and he also complains so much about everything so now i have to whisper for this, but anyway, i know you're probably asleep as well so it doesn't matter if i send this cause you'll see it in the morning but i don't care! whoops, right, whispering. i can't believe that you can't come to the shows, it's all sooooo boring without you. i always search for you in the audience but then i don't see you and i get upset, you being in the crowd would make everything much better, hopefully you can at find time to get here before the final japanese show this year.. is this corny? i don't think so, i just— i miss you, i say that all the time but i do, a lot. um yeah that's all, i should probably sleep now, i love you!

DECEMBER 2, 21:37 PM

I KNEW YOU HAD SOME STUPID PLAN! i can't believe i didn't even notice you sneaking up on me that was….. i can't start, i'll go on and on forever. how did you even get backstage? did you talk to mark or something? i don't know i guess i'm just— i'm just very surprised, you didn't even tell me anything! i'm not going to lie.. it was such a smart plan, i'm glad you were able to make it, seeing you again was so nice i almost cried having to let go of you, and yeah i tried to contain myself in front of the members but i couldn't, they had to get it though! because when you're partner is right there you can't just stand there and be normal, i did mean to trap you in that hug! god being able to wrap my arms around you again was so nice, you give such good hugs you know? i know you won't be here for long but let's make the most of our time together okay? i'm happy you're here, alright i have to go now, good night, i love you.

DECEMBER 10, 09:30 AM

hi hi!! happy to say that i will be back soon! don't be surprised if i just randomly show up in your house one day, world famous idol na jaemin in your kitchen, making himself some coffee, you might have a heart attack, i hope i don't scare you again, not like that one time after hot sauce promotions ended.. your face was hilarious, i'm sorry for that one baby, i was really just trying to surprise you.. anyway, tour picks back up in february, so we have time to be idiots and go on stupid dates, get chased down by the staff.. okay maybe not that, the last time they almost caught us was funny though. alright um— just wanted to tell you i'll be back soon! i'll make sure to pass by a convenience store and get you ice cream, and yes i'll remember to get cookie dough this time, still not sure what you have against strawberry..alright that's it! i'll see you soon, i love you!!

[wolfiesmoon]

JJK boys with a gyaru GF

i wanted to write for all these bois but didn't have a good enough concept let's do what i do best!! Short drabbles!!...😔

I did this on my main blog too and it did really well so here i am🥰

Characters featured: Nanami, Choso, Megumi, Gojo

Nanami Kento

"Hahahaha! Kento, you look sooo cute!" You clapped your hands, satisfied with your work so far.

After much convincing, Kento allowed you to give him a gyaru makeover. It was almost artistic how much the bright, colorful accessories contrasted his strong body and calm personality.

He sighed. He can't believe he's actually letting you do this. Your puppy eyes are quite a dangerous weapon, he fears.

When you move away for a bit, he asks "Are you done?"

"Done?! We haven't even gotten to the makeup yet!! Or the nails!!" Your response shocked him. You really were going all out here, weren't you.

"Which, speaking of nails, let's do a leopard pattern like your tie!! Have I mentioned how that tie is peak gyaru yet?" Your mention of the tie evolved from there and he listened to you ramble on about the latest trends in gyaru fashion.

He liked the moments where you rambled on about things you enjoy. He loves the sound of your voice, especially when you're excited about the thing you're talking about.

You press a quick kiss to his nose all of a sudden, making him jump slightly in surprise.

"Hehehe, sorry. Your smile was just so cute and I couldn't resist." He was... smiling at you?

God, you're gonna be the death of him.

Choso Kamo

He's always had his eyes on you. To be fair, you were a little difficult to miss with all your bright acessories and clothes. And with a bright smile to match, too.

"Choso!!~" you ran up to him, hugging him tight. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around you, causing you to smile at him.

He would do anything for you, and he makes that clear as day. He holds your shopping bags, he helps you pick out nail designs and plugs in the curling iron for you while you're still doing your makeup.

Of course, he would do a lot more than that but you never let him.

"Hello." He greeted you simply, wondering where you'll take him today.

"Soooo, there's this new clothes collection I've been eyeing for a while..." you let go of him, much to his dismay.

"Do you need money?" He asked.

"What? No, I've been saving up! And I want you to come with me to pick out the best date outfits, and the best girls night outfits, the best party outfits, you get the point." You listed all the necessities off, straightening one of your fingers each time.

"Ah, I just went and called you over without explaining anything beforehand. You're not busy, are you?" Your face suddenly shifted to worry, something he hated seeing.

"No, I'm not."

Truth be told, he was supposed to go to a meeting right about now, but you're much more important. The peck you pressed to his lips was more than worth it.

Fushiguro Megumi

"Hehehe, look here Megumi~" you smiled, turning your brightly accesorised phone towards him.

Instead of posing with you like you wanted, Megumi walked out of your camera's view without a word.

"Oh come on, babe... You never let me take pictures of you..." you whined, putting down your phone and pouting.

"I don't like my face being on social media." He crossed his arms, looking as straight faced as ever.

"Who said I was gonna post it on social media? I just wanted to show you off to my girlies... They don't believe that I actually have a boyfriend..." you looked down.

"...Fine." your head shot back up, meeting his eyes. He isn't a jokester, and he never teases you on purpose either, so this can only mean...

"Yayy! I love you, babes!!" You practically jumped him, attacking him with a flurry of kisses to his face. He acted annoyed and pushed you off, but you have a feeling he liked it deep inside.

"Hehehe, now your face is covered in kiss marks!" You smiled playfully at him.

Before he got a chance to wipe it off, you snapped a quick selfie that you're going to show off to your friends so hard later.

They can't claim he's just a friend you payed to take a photo with if he has your lipstick all over him, can they?

Gojo Satoru

"Kyaaah!" All your friends squealed at the sight of your boyfriend. Satoru smirked slightly, sitting down next to you and kissing your forehead.

"You weren't lying when you said he was super hot!" One of them said. "Ahhh, he really is super tall!" Another added, looking him up and down. You nodded excitedly in response, proud smile on your face.

Satoru didn't really want to meet your friends. He had nothing against them, but a date with you and only you was way better. Atleast in his humble opinion.

"You are SO. LUCKY." Your third friend giggled.

Satoru doesn't even pay attention to your friends fangirling over him, taking your freshly manicured hand into his and appreciating your nails. Blue and sparkly. Undoubtedly to match his eyes.

He raised your hand to his mouth, kissing your knuckles one by one, keeping eye contact with you the entire time and listening to your friends lose it in the background.

"Satoru...?!" You tried your best to not let your blush show. Suddenly, he pulled you close by your hips, whispering into your ear.

"Hey, here's a bright idea. Let's ditch your friends. After all, I'm in the mood for something sweet." You felt a shiver run through you at his words.

"Hey-Satoru!" You pulled on his ear, making him pout and promise not to do it again, but you have a feeling he won't stop trying.

[brakingpoint]

i missed your answer but happy day of the lord i'd love you to rank drivers by hotness because i think you're hilarious

you know what it's been like three days of the lord since you sent this but i've finally got bevved on one of them so let's go. i do not believe in rankings so i will instead be offering my commentary in current drivers championship standings order

max verstappen - i wont lie i know he's not everyone's cup of tea but i do find him quite sexy. do not understand the overwhelming tit hype on this website because this man would have to clench for his life to fill a victoria's secret training bra but it's fine because his beautiful autistic rizz and enchantingly bold nose make up for it. points deducted because i can tell his skincare routine is dish soap

lando norris - 2019 lando norris is like, i am honestly too old to have found him sexy if i'd been into f1 at the time bc even though we're only like 2/3 years apart in age he looks about 5 years younger than me. but i can completely get how if you were like 16 at the time he would seem like the cutest boy on the planet. like up all night era one direction vibes you know. unfortunately his 2024 styling with the weird desperate attempt at facial hair makes him look like a man who uses snapchat for evil

charles leclerc - objectively beautiful man crafted by the gods themselves but i can't honestly say he makes me feel anything carnally. i look at him as i would a marble sculpture in a museum

oscar piastri - he is not a bad looking guy but he does nothing for me. partially an age thing and partially his complete lack of rizz. he doesn't have time to be sexy he's got a job to do and that job is scaring the pants off lando norris every time he's within DRS range

carlos sainz - sometimes i think he is one of the top 10 sexiest men ever to exist on the planet and sometimes i think he looks like that really angry eagle off the muppets. he's got to work the right angles

lewis hamilton - much like charles leclerc he is someone who is so deeply objectively sexy that it almost reverts to me feeling nothing wait a second somebody just beamed psychic images of those interviews from like singapore 2019 where he had his hair up but with a couple bits framing his face so gorgeously and now i can't form words or think of anything else

george russell - the thing you have to understand is i went to oxford and i went clubbing a lot in oxford and so i have made out with a number of george russell lookalikes that is easily in the double figures. and i have zero regrets

sergio perez - he's not sexy he is like a cabbage patch doll whose nose i want to boop so fondly as i very gently whisper in his ear to DRIVE FUCKING FASTER

fernando alonso - i don't find him sexy but at the same time i can understand why lance stroll does

nico hulkenberg - i feel like you either have to be a really really straight woman or a really really gay european man to find him hot. and i am unfortunately neither

lance stroll - i'm refraining from answering until he grows his hair back out. at which point i will still refrain from answering but moreso for my own dignity

yuki tsunoda - we must not underestimate the rizz of a man so short he could be a back up dancer on sabrina carpenter's short 'n' sweet tour. i can unequivocally say i would

alex albon - you see physically he is not really my type but being engaged in conversation with him for more than five minutes would have me so horny i can barely breathe. i just love a dork yknow. i feel like i'd match with him on tinder by the strength of his bio even though his selfies are a bit shit and then i'd be actively drooling throughout the entire date

daniel ricciardo - in 2018, yes. in 2021 onwards, no. was he in some sort of reverse dorian grey situation where his portrait has gotten both hotter and attained better f1 results? who knows

pierre gasly - if he brings back the long swoopy hair with the frosted tips we are back in fucking business quite frankly

ollie bearman - i know he's technically an adult but he looks so young that even including him in this poll as an aside feels noncey to me

kevin magnussen - i have nothing to say. next

esteban ocon - he's tall, i suppose

franco colapinto - once again it's an ollie bearman situation where i can objectively acknowledge that he's a handsome lad but i've been following him since he was 19. i CANNOT see him that way.

zhou guanyu - i feel like his inherent swag is wasted in f1 i'd probably fancy him a lot more if he was some rando catwalk model i saw reblogged onto my dash precisely once when he was walking the runway in dior's latest collection at paris fashion week or something

logan sargeant (rip) - i really can't knock the people who fancy him because i feel like if you're american making out with 5000 guys who look just like him at college parties is my equivalent of making out with a ton of george russell impersonators at oxford. but thus i cannot see it due to our vastly different life experiences

valtteri bottas - he's hot in the way that like i walk into a gay bar and see the posters of men in leather jockstraps plastered around the place and go you know what this is not targeted to me but i can see why this is hugely titillating to the people these pictures were actually put up for. he's the closest to 1980s gay porn we have on this grid and i have to hugely respect that even if he's not my personal type

bonus liam lawson round - he looks like he was meant to debut in a boyband circa 2014 but accidentally got locked in a portaloo before their first recording session and they just kind of forgot about him there and he's just stumbled out into the daylight right now for the first time in 10 years and he's a little startled and hasn't learned about modern fashion yet but he's still kind of hot to people who would have desperately fancied luke from 5SOS were they above the age of seven at the time that band debuted

[cowboybarzy]

see it with the lights out — mat barzal

masterlist (read part 1 first!!)

ty for the love on this so far!! I hope part 3 will be out in a week and then part 4 after that :)

word count: 2k warnings: drinking/being drunk

TWO — you can feel it on the way home

october 14th

"No, it's okay. I just miss you," you told your boyfriend over the phone.

"I miss you, too. See you next weekend, though, yeah?"

"Yes. Can't wait. Love you."

"Love you, too," Lando said before hanging up. You put your phone away and tried to ignore the teasing smile Liana, Mat's sister, was giving you. She stepped back into the bathroom to finish getting ready.

You were back in New York for a few days for Mat's season home opener. Liana was staying with you in your apartment for the week she was here, which their parents took a hotel room, since the two of you were also very close. She was a few years younger than you and Mat so for a while she was his annoying little sister and you both excluded her, but eventually as Mat got busier with hockey you came to love her like your own sister.

"Honestly, I'm just surprised you're still with him," she said after a few minutes, stepping back into the room. Before you had time to react to that statement though, she elaborated. "We all just thought when you moved to New York you'd both finally get over yourselves and start dating."

"Who?," you asked confused.

"Who?," she said dramatically, dropping her makeup brush from her face. "Please, (y/n). We all know you and Mat have been doing it for years."

"What?!" You almost screamed. A laugh burst out of you, but a new emotion came up as well. One you couldn't quiet put your finger on. "We're friends."

"Oh, please! As if you haven't done it. What the hell were you doing in his bedroom all these nights then?"

"Wha- We-. No! We're friends. That's it!" You had difficulty forming sentences, confused as to why she was accusing you of sleeping with her brother.

"So you've never even kissed?"

"No!" Now she was sporting the same shocked look as you. That was technically a lie. You and Mat had kissed once, but it was during a game of truth or dare when you were 15 so that hardly counted. You chalked the butterflies and electric touch you shared up to teenage hormones and alcohol and only thought about that kiss in your deepest dreams.

"Wait, who else thinks we're more than friends?"

Liana hesitated for a bit before answering. "Uh, your family, my family. Pretty much everyone who knows the two of you." Your jaw dropped. You couldn't believe it. "Yeah. We all talk about it behind your back all the time."

"Oh my god," you moaned humiliated and buried your face in your hands. "Why?"

"I don't know. You always act like you're a couple and there's a vibe."

"You're basing this off of a vibe?"

"Yeah! Especially since everyone feels it. We just thought you didn't want to do long distance, that it was just a casual thing, when he moved to Seattle and then here that's why you didn't tell us. And then when you moved here we were all just waiting for the call to tell us you were together." Your head fell in your hands again. "I'm pretty sure your dad started a pool to see how long it would take. Well, turns out we all lost."

"I assure you Mat and I are just friends! Always have been, always will be." She raised her eyebrows, shaking her head.

"I don't know girl, I'm sensing a lot of love between you. It's kind of gross actually how you energy you give off every time you look at each other."

"Well, then your senses are off. I'm in a great relationship. Lando's great. We have a lot of fun together. I... love him." You stumbled over the word 'love' as a lump in your throat formed. You were having difficulty saying and believing yourself as you started to question your relationship with Mat. You were just friends, right? Years of friendship flashed in your mind. There were times you thought about kissing him or when you thought you were attracted to him, but he was always dating girls almost the polar opposite of you so you never thought too much about it. You often cuddled on the couch while watching a movie or were affectionate with each other but a lot of your female friendships were the same so why would this one with Mat be any different just because he's a guy.

"Okay. If you say so." Liana returned to the bathroom and came out a few minutes later ready to go.

With a final few sprays of perfume you were ready to head out as well to catch the train to UBS arena. Liana sensed your mood and didn't bring the topic up again.

You met their parents and the rest of the Isles ladies and families at the arena. You went to the family area first, where they were hosting a bit of a welcome back party with lots of food and drinks for the players families. Sydney, Matt Martin's wife and your favorite life of the party, immediately came over with lots of hugs and interest about your last few months. You hadn't seen any of them since the last season ended and even before then not much since you started dating Lando.

"I still can't believe you hung out in Monaco all summer. I'm so jealous."

"I was there like a week total. But yeah, it was so much fun."

"Mat and Lando got a long?," she asked as if she already knew the answer.

"They did! Why is everyone asking me that?" She chuckled.

"Just a lot of male energy." You shook your head with a forced smile. What Liana told you not too long ago rang in the back of your mind and you felt nauseous all of the sudden. Why was the thought of you and Mat being together romantically suddenly such a big deal? You'd always seen him as a friend but now the second you thought of him your heart started pounding.

"Nope. All good." You forced another smile. "Excuse me."

When you somewhat gracefully exited the family area you purposefully chose to head to the bathrooms further away to avoid running into more people. You needed a few minutes to collect yourself and sort your mind from all of the confusion.

Again, flashbacks and memories from the years of friendship with Mat surfaced your mind. However, you were looking at them through a different lens. Every touch, every smile, every fight brought up a different emotion than it did in the moment. Your heart swelled at the thought of him and you started craving his touch.

But Lando… The guilt over your little crisis crept in and only made this whole situation worse. When you met Lando, you were done with school and were just trying to figure out what you were going to do with your life. You loved that your job offered so much flexibility and opportunity to work remotely, but you couldn’t really see yourself doing the whole mundane 9-5 thing yet. And Lando was able to give you that carefree travel lifestyle that you were craving so you jumped into a relationship. It all moved very quickly. You relationship was serious enough that you could honestly say that you loved him, but not enough to have thought about a future with him. You never indulge in the thought of where your relationship was headed so you just enjoyed the moment. You were young. Now was the time to do it.

With that conclusion in mind, you pulled yourself together in the bathroom stall and got your phone out to text Mat. He should still be able to see it before he had to get ready to step on the ice for pregame.

you: made it! score a goal for me tonight, will ya :)

mat: will do my best

mat: see you after if you don’t get too drunk

you: hey! that was one time! those cocktails are strong!!!!

mat: lmao I was told you had 5…

you: I had a bad day:/ and you were losing…

mat: won’t happen today ;)

you: good! break a skate and don’t show off too much

mat: never :)

***

The game actually did go very well and Mat scored his first goal of the season like he promised. You were sat in the lower bowl with Mat’s parents and sister and some of the other family members. While Buffalo did score first in the period, the Isles came back with three goals in the next two and won the game.

This just made the after party a lot more fun. You all met up at the players favorite bar, not too far from the arena for a chill after party. Or at least it started out chill but escalated to a club vide rather quickly as the boys were riding that first win of the season.

When Mat had joined you, things were awkward at first when you saw him, but only because you made them like that. He didn’t even notice anything was wrong. He was glowing and grinning like a champion and hugged you like that as well, spinning you around until you got dizzy.

But you remembered your little pep talk in the bathroom that solidified you decision. He was your friend. Nothing more. Because you had Lando. With the help of a few drinks, acting more natural around Mat became easier.

You danced and laughed and watched him get increasingly more drunk with each song that played. Eventually you had enough and pulled him to a private corner to talk. He never drank like that, especially not during his season. “What the hell is wrong with you?,” you yelled at him over the music.

“What?,” he slurred, leaning against the wall for support.

“That! Why are you so drunk?”

“Where’s your boyfriend tonight?,” he countered as if he didn’t hear you.

“What?” The change of topic threw you.

“Your boyfriend. London. Landon. La…” He kept mumbling random names as if he was trying to find the right one.

“Lando,” you corrected him in a snappy voice.

“What kind of name is that?” He laughed, drunkenly, and almost fell over had you not caught him and pushed him back against the wall.

“Says Mat with one ‘t’.” He shrugged.

“Where is he anyway? Too busy for you?” You rolled your eyes and could feel yourself getting angry at him. While it was true Lando was busy this weekend with promo stuff for McLaren, it wasn’t a big deal.

“Yes. He’s an athlete with a busy schedule. You should understand.”

“He’s always too busy for you. You’re always gone to see him but every time I call or text you’re never with him. He always has this or that. Why are you with him?”

Here it was. What he wanted to say months ago he could finally get it out. “What is your problem with him? He’s not done a single thing to offend you. Yes, he’s busy but I don’t care. I have plenty of things to do and see while he’s doing his job. You should be happy for me.”

“How can I be happy when you’re not with me?! And I know that fucking selfish of me to say but I fucking miss you!” You grew soft at his admission, but only for a second, because he continued. “He doesn’t know you like I do. How can he make you happy when he’s never around? His job is so dangerous, he could die at any moment. Then what? If he gets fired then what? You’d still be with him?”

“Fuck, Mathew, so what? You’re job isn’t that much more reliable than his? You constantly on the go, too! You could get fired or injured at any moment, too. So what? What the hell is your issue?” You didn’t realize you started yelling. When he didn’t respond you lightly pushed him out of anger to try and force a response out of him. “So what, Mathew? Give me a real answer. I’m so sick of this. Of you being so passive aggressive for no reason. What? So what? What is your-” His eyes darkness and he pushed off the wall to stand taller.

“He doesn’t fucking love you like I do.”

[bloodyymaryyy]

Bumped into you

Max verstappen x reader

Request : yes

Warnings : English isn't my first language other than that none

Masterlist

--------------------------------------------------

The sun came up, the birds are chirping and singing happily, people on the street having fun, laughing, shouting at each other and talking, others are smiling and other are grumpy or having a bad day, not being in the mood for anything.

Nobody knows what is going on in people's lives or minds but they choose to go out today.

Y/n was a semi morning person that depends on the day and the weather as most people are.

Having being waken up by the alarm clock that she forgot to deseable the night before. She curses herself for not turning it off, she tried to go back to sleep but to no avail, grunting she got out of bed and she decided to be productive she did the household chores like vacuuming the floors and mopping them, washing the piles of dirty dishes

Planning to make something extravagant she got freshen up and dressed into something comfortable but presentable she headed to the nearby supermarket which she knew that would have the things that she wanted to make the dish.

Strolling from aisle to aisle looking for what she needed, she was suddenly hit by something losing a bit her footing she stumbled back a few steps.

Looking up at her "attacker" there was a man with short blonde hair, icy blue eyes, tall, she liked tall men...her daydreams.

His face showed concern and in his cheeks were rosy pink from the embarrassment of this whole situation.

Oh my god I wasn't looking at where I was going! Didn't meen to bump into you! * he said taking a few steps ahead where y/n was* are you okay miss?

Oh yeah I am okay, just watch where you are going next time please...

I am so sorry again! I hope you are okay again...miss....?

Oh y/n nice to meet you..?

Oh yeah I am Max btw

I don't want to sound like a stalker... But have we met before? You look familiar... I can't point me finger on it tho * her eyebrows knitted together tilting her head a bit to the side.

Max panicked said *oh I don't think so...?

Oh can I get a picture though? I want to show my family their future son in law... * y/n said biting her bottom lip softly looking up to his blue eyes

Uhm sure! * max replied his cheeks red suddenly getting shy

Y/n pulled out her phone and put on the camera app getting closer to him and taking a few selfie photos.

After seeing the photos if they are good then it dawned on her, from his perspective you could hit the wheel of her mind working, flinching a bit and widen her eyes.

Oh shit! Now I remember!... * she paused looked around and leaning near his face and whisper shout * Are you Max Verstappen?

You noticed that he was taken a back for being recognised by her and she acted quickly

Sorry I won't say anything! But my sister is a big fan of f1, that's why you seem familiar! * she said hitting her forehead * Sorry I will leave you to it!

She went to take her cart to search for the rest of the things she wanted but she was stopped by him saying her name.

Y/n could I get your number by any chance? You are lovely... * max said scratching the back of his neck nervously.

Sure! Give me your phone I will put it on, how is that?

They exchanged number and went home after a bit, while going home y/n texted her sister

The best sister

You won't believe who I just met!

Lil b

Omg! Who?

The best sister

Max mother fucking Verstappen!

Lil b

Really?!? Did you take any pictures?!

The best sister

Yeah

*picture attachment *

Lil b

Omg! You are so lucky dude, I wish that was me fr!

After that y/n and Max were texting back and forth, going to low-key dates for 3 almost 4 months y/n became his gf and him wanting to take her to his home race in the Netherlands giving her a paddock pace his second card of his hotel room having fun in the paddock and meeting all of his friends, laughing and joking around at their hotel rooms playing games and everything.

___________

I hope you liked it and hope its what you requested!

-🦈 anon

[mrs-kodzuken]

The way we met ♡

Pairing: Keiji Akaashi x fem!reader

WC: 1.2k

Genre: fluff

CW: fem!reader, fluff, talk about how keiji and reader met, snow bc it snowed when i wrote this a while ago, boyfriend!akaashi, memory is italicized

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Flurries danced around outside, entangled with the harsh wind that almost seemed like it shook the house to its very core when it blew.

The faint piano music from the old record player really set the soothing ambience of our home.

Small noises of glass clinking together from the kitchen could really only mean one thing: Keiji had decided to make something for us.

I peer into the window through our soft beige living room curtains, the snow flurries fluttering down from the sky in a hurry to cover the rest of the ground.

It had started to snow in the middle of January, which meant that people like Keiji and I wouldn't be able to travel to work safely.

However, working from home always had its pros and cons too. I could sit in my office peacefully, send the demographics needed to my boss, reply to a very small number of emails, and be done.

Or, Akaashi would come sit in my office, knowing that it would distract me, his body laid out on my leather couch whilst he read.

It happens more than I'd like; I don't fancy being late to turn my work in or scrambling to do it either. I took a look at the TV and decided to grab the remote to get comfortable on the couch and wait for my boyfriend. Keiji and I have been dating for three years.

We met while we were in college that one fateful day.

I had been running late to class after pulling an all-nighter trying to study, and I just had to get a cup of coffee from the closest cafe to keep me awake.

As I was leaving, I bumped into a stranger, effectively spilling my burning coffee on him. A small wince came from the man from the burn.

Shock was written all over my face. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry!"

I can't believe how stupid I was at that moment. I rushed to grab napkins and throw my cup of coffee away; it was over half gone anyway.

"It's quite alright." The man's soothing voice spoke out to me as I tried rubbing him down with the napkins.

He cracked a small smile, and that is when I got a real good look at him. His short, messy black hair and slightly thick eyebrows stood out to me, and his extremely dark blue eyes with pretty eyelashes peered curiously into mine.

His voice was smooth like honey, and his body was lean but toned at the same time.

His clothes were fancy—a long coat over a smooth white button-up shirt with dark slacks and dress shoes to tie it together. I snapped back into consciousness after realizing that my coffee had ruined his white button-up shirt.

"How is it alright? I can't believe I was such an idiot to spill my coffee on you!" I was so frustrated at being non-attentive to where I was heading that I ruined my drink on a man, a gorgeous one at that.

He smiled at me and then offered to buy me an extra for the inconvenience. I refused; of course, I should be buying him a coffee—not the other way around.

But alas, he convinced me, and we sat down at a booth in the back of the cafe. We introduced ourselves and made small talk about our mornings, the college we both attended, and our majors.

That is, until I realized that I had been dilly-dallying this entire time and my class was already over.

I threw my head into my hands and huffed loudly, "Did you miss your class?" His questionable voice brushed across my skin.

"Yes." I grumbled out, which sounded painfully muffled by my sweater hands holding my face.

"How about we go to the library and study then?" Akaashi asked me, and I peered out at him, one hand uncovering an eye.

Was this a date or a mere 'I feel bad for you' thing?

Reluctantly, I nodded and picked up my leather brown bag, slinging it over my shoulder. We waltzed our way towards and into the library, unbeknownst to me, that this little date would be repeated till we finally got together and graduated.

I chuckled softly at the memory of Keiji and me. We were both so young, and it turns out that our majors were lined up together. It's funny how the universe works in mysterious ways.

The soft pattering of Keiji's house shoes broke me from my thoughts of the beginning of our past. He wore a large, comforting fawn-colored sweater with thin sweatpants.

He brought two glass mugs filled with the delicious smell of coffee—how ironic!

"Here love," He handed me my mug and sat down beside me on our couch.

"Thank you, Keiji."

The scent of him mixed with my coffee was intoxicating. I never thought I would ever have such an interesting but funny love story to tell people.

Ever since those dates in the library studying, Akaashi and I decided to move in together when we graduated. We've been together for three years, and still I can't get over how non-attentive I was back then and still am.

Needlessly, Keiji still loves me.

The snow scattered around outside still; our porch light was on, and I could definitely see how the flurries were coming down. I love my life with Keiji; it is one of the best blessings I could have ever gotten from my idioticness.

"Have you decided on what movie we are going to watch? I was thinking maybe some form of Christmas movie." He inquired of me, his dark blue eyes still having the same effect on me as they did three years ago when we met.

A look of confusion struck my face. "Christmas ended twenty-four days ago, and you want to watch a Christmas movie?" I questioned him with a brow raised.

"Yes," he said, certain of himself. "It's snowing outside, is it not?" A delicate smirk graced his naturally pink-tinted lips.

"Fine, fine. Only because it's snowing. You pick, since I don't really mind. However, there are no royalty Christmas movies. I can only watch so many before they start to be mundane." I stated my agreement with the terms.

He sighed, "I guess."

Knowing him, that's definitely what he was going to pick before I said something. I leaned my head on his shoulder as I watched the movies on the TV scroll from one to another.

"Earlier, I was thinking about when we first met and how different we were then versus now." I randomly told him, wanting him to know my thoughts.

"Really? Were you disappointed with the way we  met?"He asked me softly, his eyes gazing down at mine.

"No, honey, just how funny it was." I half-smiled at him and resumed drinking my coffee before it got cold. He finally settled on a movie we both enjoy.

As it began to play, I shifted over towards him, wanting his body heat and to share the fluffy blanket.

"Keiji, you know that I love you, correct?" I asked him, still paying attention to the movie in front of us.

"I do. You know that I love you as well." He answered with reassurance while shifting to where his arm was over my shoulders.

Keiji pressed a warm kiss on my temple as we continued to watch TV. I could still see the snowflakes falling; however, they were softer this time around.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

a/n: this is from my book “Haikyuu x Reader One Shots” on Wattpad! I hope you enjoyed and let me know if you have any requests!

the header is made by me, please like/reblog if used <3

[exorcist-ray]

[Last week was a bit tough for Lee. Shitty sex, shitty news she learned while spying on Sera, and a shitty voice in her head that she still can't get rid of.]

[There's something wrong with you for sure.]

[Lee jerked dangerously in the air, nearly losing her balance and falling back down. She shuddered and hugged Vienna tightly, afraid that she might drop her sister, who couldn't figure out how flying on exorcists' wings worked. Falling from such a height would be terribly painful.]

H-hey, Lee!..

[Should've given her dis potion after we got to da Pearly Gates. My back will hurt so fuckin' much for da rest of de day.] [What, are you complaining? Be glad that she even agreed to keep you company, despite the fact that your idea is so dangerous and stupid. Or just dangerously stupid. You should be grateful for everything she does for-]

LEE!

W-woah, hey, what's up?

...Sorry, you just froze and stared into space. Hey, are.. are you sure you're okay, Lee?

Uuuh, yeah, of course! Just thought it'd be nice if they served mah favorite bratwurst! -🍬

But-... okay, Lee. I believe you. We almost missed the Pearly Gates, please don't get distracted by thoughts of food again. -🌸

[Vienna smiled awkwardly and carefully got down from Lee's arms. She chose Timpani as her disguise, so Lee decided it would be best to disguise herself as Ava. They're dating, so no one should have any questions.]

[Oh, you think you're so smart? Does anyone besides you know they're dating? What if-]

[Lee shook her head and looked around for Ray. She made arrangements with medic in advance to ensure her and V's safe passage to Heaven.]

[Ugh, I hope she came.] [Oh, she definitely came, unlike you that night. You should've found another way, you know. What if she won't show up on time? They'll capture not only you, but also your sister. And you wonder why no one ever defended you when you constantly make such stupid decisions~?]

@your-favorite-spyho @your-favorite-therapist 🍬🌸

Ray anxiously waited for Lee to arrive. What was taking so long? If she got caught- God, she couldn't even imagine what Sera would do to her. The exorcist jolted up when she saw Ava Lee and Timpani V. There you are! Come on, quickly! She said calmly almost shouted.

She opened the gates to let them in, while looking around nervously. Fuck fuck fuck. Sera was gonna kill her for letting multiple sinners into heaven. Okay, Lee, uh, I mean, Ava, did nobody see you leaving hell? Ray. What are you doing? She almost froze on the spot. Ray knew that voice. I'm sorry, Ivy, I have to help her. I owe her. Like you owe me?

She decided to ignore the voice for now. It couldn't be Ivy. Just her imagination. To distract herself she waved at V Timpani.

Remember, Ray, there is no need to feel bad about this. You owe her. You're being a proper angel. Sera doesn't have shit on you.

[imzsuzsis-blog]

I saw a blurry picture on the net of Lando and a strange man in his forties talking in front of the hotel, then kissing. It blew my fuse quite a bit. "If I meet him, I'll be sure to follow Lando Norris" I got out of the taxi in a rage. I almost didn't pay the groundhog, my mind was so different that I shouldn't miss the fucking train, I managed again last year, I hope I won't make it this year... "Ohhh fuck it, I'll kill you!!!!" He takes a picture in front of my eyes and lets the guy hug him from behind. "Fuck this is disgusting." I even covered my eyes so that I wouldn't even see this shit... "Baby, how are the Twins?" I was so shocked by the news that I accidentally pressed Siri on my phone and instead of Zac, I called Pato'o, who was shocked by the news because his ex Lando had been together for a good two years.

"Oh, Osc, come on, take it easy, he's here, my friend Loki, we've just met." I gave Osc a friendly handshake but he pulled away terrified, as if I was terrorizing him. Hello, I'm Oscar, Lando's teammate since last year. He's a cute boy if you warm up like that." ,, Osc???? Did you take a homophobic pill again? we go together, he's my boyfriend." "Not only did you shock me again, you know, I called Pato' O instead of Zak, this is the news of the twins." "Did you hear the bass? I'm sorry, it wasn't intentional, I've only known since yesterday, believe me. I that I was shocked at first by the fact that I am not five weeks old, but seven, then that I have twins, double the joy, but double everything and fucking chaos." "When will you tell me at home?" I shook my head, I didn't realize this either, maybe there are Carlos, Daniel and Max among the four godfather signs, my rivals are all bigger names with one exception, Max Fewtrell is no longer a bigger name than me, but he can easily beat me in this.

"Oh calm down Oscar, yes I am Loki and yes Lando also took his name, that's my name, I have nothing to do with the god of mythology, I'm Loki Jonosoh." "How old are you, because in the picture you looked rather young, even though you were washed." "One week ago, I was forty-one, we just celebrated that on the date and it was said that he wanted to build this piece by piece after the previous one." I started stroking Lando's back with my beautiful but already worn black nails, who vomited again, this usual breakfast was bad for him. He can't stand it, he said yesterday when he was about to leave crying, he's out of it, it's like he's settled in well, and then everything would come out, he hates it all in the morning, I comforted him. In the brain, he was lying there crouched down and crying constantly, I am worried about him, in fact, he doesn't eat anything, he is just nauseous or dizzy, even now when we get there, this is not a condition for him. ,,Do you know of another hospital in Suzuka besides the emergency hospital? Oscar is urgent please!!!!” "I'm here Loki, I'm looking at the map, I've already found one, I hope it won't end badly. Come on Lando you need to eat for a little bit.” "No, I can't even look at the food, I feel nauseous and have to throw up again." "We really need a hospital where we can be told what to do, it's not fun to watch." ,,Jesus!!!" "We don't know what's wrong with me either, Charles. We know he can't eat, if he eats everything right away, then his appetite is completely gone, we are worried and he can't handle vomiting in the morning. Loki said that he was curled up crying on the bed and didn't want to leave until he couldn't stop crying." "We are hoping that he will sleep a little on the train."

The thought came to my mind, I'm going to die right here and get the fuck out, "Water, Loki, thanks, I'm not hungry, I'm just fucking thirsty and I'm parched." "Well, at least you're taking your vitamins, aren't you?" ,,Of course, are you fooling around with chocolate milk Charles? For what?” "This or the B12, you decide, Lando." Give me the chocolate milk, is it a joke, is it also B12? Get it!!!! I don't." I watched him while he was throwing a tantrum, it's only natural that he has no appetite and that he's constantly vomiting and gnawing on certain foods like that, what's wrong with him now?" "Paprika, but I could also say radishes and vegetables like this, he can smell it and is starting to feel nauseous, but he is constantly vomiting or has nausea, I can't do anything about him, even now he is sensitive, he saw a dead cat on the street and started to cry and he would have loved it At the cemetery, when I and a couple of passers-by prevented this, he started to get hysterical and threw his shoes, because I wanted to calm him down, he started to cry again because he doesn't understand what he's doing and he's had enough of it, he wanted to fool around with me, and finally he fell down. " "This vitamin shit and this chocolate milk look like they're being drunk by school kids." I went to Loki, who kissed me and ruffled my hair, I leaned on his shoulder, tired as hell, I didn't sleep in the middle of the night, I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for the new pussy to come out of my stomach, and I cried, then I vomited, I didn't sleep at all, when I slept, I tossed and turned, it was a nightmare.

[more-cardigan-than-woman]

oh my god gym buddies!jason finally had the guts to ask her out on a date!! GO JAY GO!!! need to know how this date goes

Oh, you wanna know how the date went? Hahahaha. Ok.

Warnings, Swearing, fluff, Smut, hand holding, date, throat holding, me not know sweet fa about sports, but I made this reader sporty so I'm trying my best.

"Dude, I am so sweaty." You say to Annie as you skate to a stop at her goal post, " I can't believe I agreed to this date."

"Babes, it'll be fine," she nudges her helmet towards where Jason is sat in the stands, "he hasn't taken his eyes off you since we came out."

"I'm so nervous, I haven't been on a real date in.."

"Forever, I know." She sighs, squaring up as Mckinnley and Jones come at you both, "get out there, we need our defender."

"On it."

You're amazing, Jason thinks, so quick as you weave your way through the other players before slamming one of the other team into the barricade. No wonder you're a slow runner, you're fucking feet belong on the ice.

You move like a freight train in those pads, and he's honestly so impressed by you and the force you seem to have behind every hit. It hits him in an instant, and he whips out his phone, hoping Alfie is around to help him rearrange his date plans.

The game comes to a close as you win the game 1-0 it was really close and the Vipers really brought their all tonight, but with Annie in goal they didn't stand a chance.

Xx

"Good luck," Annie waves, as you pull your jacket on, adjusting your dress, "try not to kill him."

"Thanks, I'll try my best." You wave back as you head outside to meet your date.

He's waiting, his bulking form leaning against a black motorcycle and a spare helmet resting on the back seat. "Hello Sweetheart," Jason smiles, pushing off the bike and moving to meet you in the middle with a kiss, "you were so fucking hot out there."

"Hi Jay, I'm glad you enjoyed the show."

"You ready to go?" He rubs his hands together, "I got big plans for us."

"Can't wait," you grab the helmet, slipping it over your head and tilting the visor up, "well, we going or what?"

"Right," Jason shakes his head, his brain almost combusting at the sight of you in his spare helmet, on the back of his bike, "ready for the best night of your life?"

"Guess we'll see." You wrap your arms around him tight, your bag strapped to your back as you take off from the rink and into the night.

The bike goes fast, humming underneath you as you inhale Jason's cologne, feel his soft leather jacket under your finger tips and the wind rushes over your helmet.

"Where are we?" You ask when he pulls to the side of the road, "dude, this shady as fuck."

"Is not," he shrugs, taking off his helmet and sitting it on the bike, "where's your sense of adventure?"

"In these shoes?" You gesture to your kitten heels you bought for the date, "carrying this?" You jostle your bag, "my sense of adventure is about 2 miles away."

"You're right," he slips the bag from your shoulder, "let me carry that. Have you got any sneakers in here?"

"I mean, yeah. But what happened to take me out and show me off?"

"I think you've done enough showing off tonight. Miss I slam people so hard the ice shakes."

"You impressed Todd?"

"I'm not, not impressed." He says, grabbing your chucks from the bag and throwing them to you, "come on, it's only a ways up here." His head gestures towards the path in the woods, "it's not super far. Cardio lover like you will love it."

"Fine," you roll your eyes, tightening your coat around your dress to keep it from getting snagged in the trees.

"Where is it," Jason says, brushing his hand long the long layer of vines that sit before you, "gotta be- here!" He smiles brightly as a gate swings open behind him and you can see light filtering through the vines.

"Is this a murder dungeon?"

"Come and see," he steps through, holding the vines up so they don't snag in your hair.

You step under his arm, and the sight before you is like a fairy tale. Warm fairy lights hang over a sparkling frozen pond, a huge picnic blanket covered in tiny treats just to the side, all sitting in the cutest garden full of roses and maple trees. "Jason, this is-"

"Good right?" He starts to walk towards the picnic blanket, "do you like it?"

"Jason."

"It's not to much is it?" He turns worry written on his face, "we can go to a restaurant if you want, I just- seeing you on the ice and then I wanted to do something spec-"

"Shut up." You smile, jumping into his arms and kissing him senseless. You feel him carry you back, your backback falling to the ground next to him.

"You like it?" He whispers between your kisses, his hands gripping at your assunder your dress.

"It's beautiful, Jay."

"Like you."

"Corny." You push him gently in the chest, and he uses the momentum to fall to the ground. His arm catching the brunt of your weight.

"Oh no! I've been attacked." He jokes grabbing onto your hips and adjusting you on his lap, "whatever," he grabs your hands pulling them around his neck, "could I do to fight you off?" He winks pulling you so your chests are flush.

"You wouldn't," you squeeze your thighs on his, your nose brushing against his, "but-" You glance over to the tiny tea cakes, "I am starving."

"These -" he reaches over, sticking one half in his mouth, "are so good," you lean forward, taking a bite from it, giggling as he kisses you. Picking up another cake, "open up," he slowly feeds you the cake, then another watching as you moan at how good they are.

"You make the prettiest sounds for me," Jason sighs, holding your face to kiss you deeper, "and you taste like caramel."

"Jason," you moan into his kiss, "can we get on the ice?"

"Last one on the ice has to buy breakfast." He laughs, shoving you off him and reaching over to grab his skates.

"You're on Todd."

You zip around him, laughing as he spins trying to catch you. "Now who's the slow poke?"

"I'm going to get you," he threatens with a laugh, his hands always just beyond you, "you can't keep me away forever."

"Have you ever done a lift before?" You call out as you skate circles around him.

"You've met Grayson. What do you think?" He calls his arms, stretching out for you as you graze by him.

"Think you can catch me?"

"Don't promise to let you go if I do."

You skate back, doing a loop as you line up, "Ready?"

"Go." You take off, picking up speed as you close in on him and then suddenly his hands are around your waist, lifting you up and over his head as he spins you. The lights of the garden twinkle around you, your heart fluttering as he brings you down, your arms wrapping around his neck as you glide across the ice together.

"Fuck, you're stunning," Jason smiles, the joy shining in his eyes, his big hands massaging your waist, "can't believe you agreed to this."

"I can't believe you promised me a mind-blowing orgasm and yet," you start to play with his curls, "I'm back on the ice."

"Guess I better deliver then," he winks, scooping you in his arms and skating you off the pond, awkwardly walking you away from the lights.

"JAY," you giggle, trying to keep your skates away from his arms, "where are we going?"

"Somewhere a bit more private than Bruce's back lawn." He jokes and you have the realisation of where exactly the fuck you are right now. But when he opens the door to the greenhouse, you don't even give a shit. The moons filtering through the glass ceiling, Jason sits you on a wooden table his fingers already working to get both your skates off and when he looks up at you from the ground his eyes have gone completely feral.

"Jason," you say in a calming voice, "what's that look for?"

"I've wanted to to this all night, wrap those strong thighs around my head, sweetheart. Smother me in your strength," he pushes your panties to the side, his head disappearing under the skirt of your dress as he begins to devour you whole. Your legs clenching around his head as he sucks at your clit and he buries his fingers inside you.

He doesn't stop, doesn't slow until you're a panting mess above him, crying out his name, choking him between your legs and begging for him to fuck you.

"Lay back baby," he directs you, lifting your legs over his shoulders as he frees himself from his jeans, "you want this?" He asks, slapping you with his cock, "no nodding, I want your words. I wanna hear it."

"Fuck me Jason."

"Good girl." He plummets into you, grinding down into you as his hand twines with yours, "so fucking gorgeous."

"Hurry up, please." Jason leans over you, his lips molding with yours as his thick cock spreads you, stretching you out second by second until he reaches the end of you, "holy - Jay."

"I know," he pants into your kiss, "I know, I'm gunna move now, sweetheart. You ready?"

"Yes, please move. Please." He withdraws before thrusting back into you. Fucking into you so hard that the pots on the table start to shake.

"Take it for me." He breathes, his voice a low growl, "be a good girl and take it."

Your ankles lock around his neck, your legs shaking as he pounds into you. His mouth littering kisses up your neck as he whispers how well your doing and how perfect you are for him.

"Jay, I-"

"I know baby, I know it's so good." Jason leans his face back, pressing his forehead into yours, his fingers tightening in yours, "I want your cum," taking his free hand he wraps it around your thigh, pressing his fingers into your clit, "I want all of it," he fucks down into you his thick cock grinding down into your g spot, "and you're going to give it to me."

"Jaso-" you pant over and over as your climax floods through you and onto his cock.

"I'm not done baby, I want all your cum."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can." He keeps going his pace slowing as he starts to slam into you, "I know you've got more cum for me," he moves your hands wrapping them both around your throat, "this is gunna make sure I get it." His hand held over yours as you hold your throat.

"Jason, it's so much," you whine your ass inching up the table in an attempt to get away.

"No you fucking don't." He growls, tightening his grip on your throat, his solid arm flexing over your thigh to keep you in place, "you’ve got more for me, sweetheart." He growls his dick still slamming into you, "give it to me."

"I- ah. Jaso- plea-" you lose your words as your second climax threatens to kill you and Jasons cum fills you up.

He slows, still slowly fucking into you as you come down from you. Your breath still stuck in your throat. He gently drops your legs from his shoulders, wrapping them around his waist as he burries his face in your neck.

"Jason," you pant, kissing him softly on the cheek.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Is this Wayne manor?"

"Hmmm..."

"Is Bruce going to kill us?"

"No, but we should probably get going before Alfred comes to find us."

[berrypass-de-murdler]

2 - 24 Under the Sea, Over the Line

Last dumb episode before the season finale!!! Almost an entire season into MOTLE YAYYYYY

Featuring the dumbest character DUKE OF VERMILLION!

Idk if I've posted this before but here are some old oxymorons doodles vnfjkvns <3 kiss now my perfect potatoes

Although warning when I say dumb episode I mean DUMB episode-

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

The submarine dunks into the ocean. The only passengers that made it on were Logico, Violet, Silverton, Slate, and… the Duke of Vermillion??

VIOLET: I didn’t even invite you! DUKE: Has it occurred to you that I might live here in the ocean? VIOLET: Oh…

Logico looks around and is completely and utterly shocked! The Duke SPOKE? No, that’s not it. 

LOGICO: Who let THAT one on the ship?

He points to… wanna guess? A dead human. 

DUKE: [suddenly sobbing] I just wanted to enjoy a party! VIOLET: Ew! You were there the whole time? DUKE: Yus… [snif] SLATE: Well, this is fun. SILVERTON: I miss Bunny…

The submarine is a very cramped place to try to solve a murder. There’s less room than on the zeppelin! Logico is constantly bumping into everyone, like the Duke curled up on a bed.

DUKE: Could you move… this bed is so small as is… LOGICO: No. I get paid for this. Or at least I SHOULD be…

The king crab lies back down and stares at the metal ceiling, and the water outside. What a miserable life he has! And they cruise in silence for a long time.

SLATE: I’m done with this. Don’t bother me…

She heads into the tiny airplane-style bathroom and never returns.

SILVERTON: Wait a second! She wouldn’t even be able to USE a bathroom! THIS IS HYPOCRISY!!!

As he thrashes around in rage, the Duke catches a glimpse of his face. It’s so shiny and yellow… he immediately falls in love! He grasps Silverton’s arms.

DUKE: Be with me. SILVERTON: What? DUKE: I can’t live like this any longer. I need someone like you. LOGICO: Okay, I’m going to be sick.

But he can’t enter the bathroom, because Slate’s in there!

DUKE: Please… [falls onto Silverton’s chest] stay with me…

Silver shoves him off.

SILVERTON: ARE YOU INSANE?? YOU’RE MARRIED!!!! AND THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'D GO ON A DATE WITH A MOTHERFUCKING CRUSTACEAN!

Duke is so depressed by the revelation, he attempts to pull his own head off.

VIOLET: [cries] I hate all of this so much! 

Irratino is on the zeppelin, approaching Drakonia! But it’s so freaking slow. He squirms in impatience as he waits for the Wifi symbol on his phone to reach just one bar…

IRRATINO: THE FAMOUS ACTOR HAS THE BRIEFCASE FULL OF MONEY!!! AND THE FAMOUS ACTOR, IS SILVERTON THE LEGEND!!!!!!!!

This phone call is so loud, EVERYONE on the sub can hear it. Poor Logico is out cold!

VIOLET: Oh my god, who is this?! IRRATINO: Uh… it’s me :3 VIOLET: You killed Logico-

Once the deductive finally comes to, he announces the Duke as the killer.

DUKE: Well, I had to do it! We were running out of air, or we would have, if my figures are correct. [brings out a piece of paper and stares intently] Oops.

Logico says ‘I can’t believe you’, but only with his eye.

DUKE: All right fine! I’m tired of being portrayed as the forgettable one! I’m SURE all of you will remember me now!

He lets himself out somehow and swims away, probably to return to his boring wife.

The end!

Omg I can't wait to write the next episode it has cupcake muppet in it and so much angst

He deserves the entire world

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[uselesslexbian]

the secret of us by gracie abrams sentence starters.

i felt good about you until i didn't.

got what you demanded, picture perfect like you planned it.

we were fighting more than laughing.

all my friends, they tried to stop me wanting you.

it took all of me to walk away and choose.

i realized i felt fuller without you.

i said i wouldn't do it, but i hunted you down.

i'm not proud.

it could be bad, but i wanna find out.

it don't feel right 'cause you're not here.

god, i'm actually invested.

too soon to tell you i love you.

i still hate the image of you kissing her.

tell me, is she prettier than she was on the internet?

are your conversations cool? like, are you even interested?

tell me if she takes you far enough away from all the baggage you've been carrying.

you look stupid going out.

if she's got a pulse, she meets your standards now.

you feel nothing, and yet you still let her.

i bet you think about me now, when you should be sleeping.

i told the truth, but you didn't like it.

trust me, i know it's always about me.

i love you, i'm sorry.

i might not feel real, but it's okay.

you were the best, but you were the worst.

as sick as it sounds, i loved you first.

i was a dick, it is what it is.

it felt just like a joke.

if history's clear, someone always ends up in ruins.

what seemed like fate becomes "what the hell was i doing?"

do you miss us?

how can you be cold when i open my home?

what seemed like fate, give it ten months, and you'll be past it.

i'm aware that i could end up here alone.

i've never craved someone's attention as much as yours.

here's to hoping you're worth all my time.

it's the only thing that helps me sleep at night.

you made me vain, i can't believe i have to be her.

is this how you see me?

thank god that you're not seeing this.

i'll spare you from everything.

if you would still have me, i'll be waiting all my life.

he's just one of the boys i'll date for like a summer and i'll leave when i'm bored.

i guess it's always funny until it's not.

i swear to god i haven't thought of you in ages.

i understand i changed your plans. i had to.

all i did was right by me. i heard that almost killed you.

i think that you earnestly have waited on apologies but i can't pretend that i'm sorry.

aren't you sad about the fact that you can't write me?

don't you feel alone at night?

we don't even know each other now.

i'd blow all my plans if you'd meet me out.

all i ever did was consider you until all i could do was consider me.

i was your entertainment from a dark place.

it's not my fault you can't sit with the hard thing.

you really thought you would get what you wanted.

am i what you wanted?

you did all that i wouldn't do.

you got bored and i felt used.

would it have killed you to explain?

could you not deny the truth?

when did you slip through my fingers?

did i ever have you?

was i just a place holder to fill the hole inside you?

i've been feeling sick but i should help myself, not call you.

you're not over her, now are you?

that's not how i want to spend my life.

it all comes down to you.

you can go home at night, and you might really not need her. but you feel her everywhere, she is the love of your life.

you know that it's her or nothing.

i hope you're happy.

this isn't what you want.

you're far away from healing.

i hope you know i don't think you're a bad guy, that you're damaged.

you're the saddest but a good kid.

i almost loved you but i didn't.

i know that you're removed. i can feel it when we talk.

you start to let me in but then you shut it off.

it's half of you that hurts sometimes. the half that i don't get.

i swear that i'm not mad at you, but i can't share your bed now.

it's a pain that i caught you at a bad time.

i hope you find somewhere safe for your baggage.

i burn for you, and you don't even know my name.

if you asked me to, i'd give up everything.

i want to be close to you.

you should be mine for life.

[modelbus]

Could you Possibly do part 2 for library love?

ABSOLUTELY YES

Check out Part 1 here!

Pairing: Cc!Wilbur soot x Gn!Reader

Library Love - Part 2

You had very little to find Wilbur off of, save for your conversations. The second your shift had finished you set out for the places he mentioned while talking to you. Nothing crazy, just a small cafe and a record store. If you were lucky, he'd be in one so you could finally get his number.

Was this going too far? Eventually he’d come back to the library, or you’d see him around; he couldn’t stay away forever. But you wanted to get his number today—months of pining made you unusually impatient.

Maybe you were pushing your luck though. The cafe held no sign of him. When you had asked the barista in a moment of weakness, she denied anyone by the name of Wilbur being in at all today. That left the record store, barely a block away. You're crossing your fingers the entire walk, and desperately hoping he'd be there.

Of course, you just had to fall for the biggest dumbass in the entire world. Who forgets to leave their number?!

The record shop looks cute from the outside, with a bright sign loudly declaring a sale on record players and posters this week. You're slightly ashamed to say you've never been in here. Hell, you didn’t know it existed before Wilbur mentioned it to you! It’s mainly because you don't own a record player, but you make a promise to yourself to come back when you aren’t on a manhunt.

When you step in, a small bell chimes and the worker immediately greets you.

"Welcome to Rhythm Records! If you need anything just let me know." An employee calls out, bright purple hair obscuring most of her face.

You give her a polite nod, then scan the shop. It's not too large, and you can see the entire place just from your spot at the door. By the registers are tall boxes of posters, and the back wall is covered in shelves of record players. Every other inch contains records upon records. There are so many you nearly miss the whole reason you came in here for!

There, rifling through the record bin labeled "L-M" is Wilbur. Someone heard your silent begging and answered.

"What are you looking for?" You ask, navigating your way to him.

He jumps badly at your voice, eyes wide. "Wha-"

"I found your note. You didn't leave me a number, so I had to find you myself." You answer, fishing the paper out of your pocket.

"Oh." He says dumbly, slowly turning redder by the second. "I knew I was forgetting something! It kept fucking bugging me, but I couldn't figure out what it was, so I just gave up and dropped the books off. I can’t believe I forgot my- wait."

You do, patiently letting him ramble.

"You want my number?"

"Yes, Wil. I want your number.” At his clear incredulousness, you add, “so I can go on a date with you."

If you thought you'd seen him happy before, it was nothing compared to now. His entire face seems to light up along with a giant smile. You can’t help but smile along with him. Absolutely swoon-worthy, if you did say so.

"I mean, I'm not doing anything now if you want to do something now. We could walk around maybe? Or not, if you're busy." He suggests.

"I could clear my schedule." You joke, grinning at him.

"Perfect, I know just the place to go first. Come on."

He offers you his hand, and you take it. His fingertips are calloused from his guitar playing, but it isn't a bad thing. It's just another thing that's undeniably Wilbur.

"What about your record shopping?" You ask after you've already exited the store.

"I was only looking to keep my mind off you. Besides, I probably shouldn't buy anymore."

"You have too many?"

"It's a crippling addiction, one my wallet is suffering for." He says seriously, keeping a completely straight face. Almost as an afterthought, he adds, "and they've started attracting too many e-girls."

"What?!" You exclaim, laughing.

"It's a serious problem! I've started oozing masculine passion!"

"Oh God, we can't have that."

"Don't worry, I'll stop just for you."

That makes your heart do weird things, but you push it down.

It probably takes you too long to realize exactly where you're headed, and when you do you can't help but laugh to yourself.

"What?" He asks, eyes sparkling.

"Nothing, nothing."

“I thought I’d buy you tea or coffee or something to make up for you having to hunt me down.”

“You don’t have to.” You protest. “I didn’t mind the manhunt.”

“I want to.”

Wilbur lets go of your hand to hold open the door for you, making a grand gesture. "After you."

"Why thank you, kind sir."

"Back?" The barista asks. "Oh, you found your dude."

"This might've been the first place I looked for you." You admit to Wilbur.

"That is your dude, right? I haven't just made a fool of myself?" The barista laughs nervously.

"I'm their guy," Wilbur confirms, but he's looking at you.

He's your guy.

[pocketgalaxies]

miss ma'am would you like to expand some thoughts on all of the imodna stuff from this past ep? i always love your takes on them :)

hello yes!!

ok starting with imogen. i can't believe it's basically canon that girl's been kinda in love with laudna for so long. like i knew it but i didn't Know it and now i Know it and don't know what to Do with it except be like oh babe. i'm so happy for you for making that move. and the speed at which imogen steered the conversation to that point as soon as they were alone is so endearing, the way she was about to overflow with the need to ask that question. also marisha being like "this wasn't supposed to happen to my dead girl" and laura going "i know :( i know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" bc sometimes the character wants what the character wants and this character wanted this so so so so so so so so bad

LAUDNA ON THE OTHER HAND.

i've seen a few other ppl say this and i certainly agree that laudna's reaction to being asked "can i kiss you" and what happened afterward is very ambiguous and i'm so curious what the Hell fuck is going on in her head now

what does it mean when someone asks if they can kiss you and you just say "ALRIGHT." like it's not an inconvenience and it wouldn't bother you so sure they can do what they want, you don't mind. it's not a "yes i want you to do that" it's a "yes i won't be upset if you do that" and those are different!! it could easily be either "i was not expecting this holy shit what do i do oh my god wait what okay wait just let her do it first and figure it out later" because laudna as we all know is romantically emotionally stunted. but also it could be "imogen wants this and what imogen wants i will give to her no matter what it is and this is an easy thing to give" which is,hmm,,,,unhealthy

and then immediately launching into like. i think i need you to be with me in order to be a good person. i think i can't separate from you without destroying myself or hating myself. and imogen going "you're not a bad person" and laudna kissing her again like she needs to Consume that in order to believe it

i'm kinda swinging between multiple interpretations of this, the first being like. laudna recognizing that imogen is showing interest and commitment to her but also coming from such a harrowing experience and needing to put that on the table first. "i don't think you realize that i'm unstable. i'm a bad person. i'm unlovable because you're the only thing keeping me from hurting everyone else." she doesn't explicitly say it but it'd be easy to see the implication of "are you sure you want this, want me?" and imogen saying with so much quiet conviction "you're not a bad person you're not a bad person" is why she kissed her again, because she needed to hear it and hearing that imogen still wants her despite her warnings makes her more confident to initiate a lil kiss or two by herself too

but there are so many other routes to take it. did she recognize that kissing is what imogen wants and therefore kissed her only as a way to say thank you for calling me a good person, almost like a reward, a purely transactional thing on laudna's part? did she not enjoy the first kiss but feel like she needed to try again to maybe convince herself to like it because imogen is so nice and wonderful and amazing that she should like it, what if not liking it makes her an even worse person? did she kiss her because she didn't know what to say in response because she didn't believe imogen's words at all and it was an easy distraction? did she just want to kiss her again so bad so she just did it?

idk maybe we're all reading way too much into this dkfjskdfjs but i think any option could be believable and i have things i like and dislike about each theory, and i love the fact that it wasn't a straightforward "omg yes please kiss me we're dating now!" bc it's so chewy and juicy and fun. if laura and marisha aren't on the next episode of 4-sided dive i MIGHT fly to LA and storm the set

anyway regardless of what's going on in laudna's head, i think it's safe to say that it's not a great sign of her general State Of Mental Health when she was kissed by her bestest bestie and STILL bor'dor and delilah were what she wanted to talk about. i think you'd have to be in a Very bad place for a reunion and a kiss with your fav person to not distract you, at least for a little bit, from talking about that stuff. how imodna's relationship changes moving forward (if at all) will be v interesting to see and i'm so so ssosososo os osos oso so os excited.

oh also before i end this post, just want to acknowledge that i'm assuming laura and marisha discussed it during the break and decided to keep it a secret from the rest of the party. i'm SURE we'll see some interesting discussions about that moving forward, both from laudna and imogen when they're alone + the rest of the party once they find out. i'm not thinking too hard about that decision, i think there are countless mundane and harmless reasons to keep it a secret for now, so i'm just gonna look forward to future eps!!