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chaoticlarrie · 4 years ago

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A love letter to fandoms

I just wanted to express how much I love fandom spaces. It’s gonna be a sappy useless post but bear with me.

Since I was young teen, fandom spaces online have been a refuge for me. A second home. It’s one of my most effective coping mechanism for my very depressed brain and always has been.

I’ve always had trouble expressing strong emotions in my life. Because I was raised to be calm, collected, reasonable, smart and critical.

Strong outburst of emotions, positive or negative, were always fround upon, mocked or punished. So I had to find an outlet for my strong emotions. And for me it was fandoms. I can go completely crazy over a specific tv show and if no one in my life can bear listening to me going nuts over it, I can go online and find my people, the other ones that are just as crazy as me and we can be content with each other.

Because every one needs to feel strong emotions from time to time. For some it’s falling in love again and again, for others it’s partying to the point of exhaustion for the body and mind, for others it’s drugs, for others it’s extreme sports. We all want that rush of adrenaline, that euphoria. But none of those options are safe. And for me fandoms were that outlet. That get way to euphoria. I would fall in love with a piece of fiction or a band and their music and I would give them that power over me. I gave the power to a book, to a song, even to a celebrity to make me cry, to make me happy, to make me euphoric. I chose to gave them that power when I entered the fandom. Because I knew that it meant that the next time I hear news about it, I would feel that strong emotion.

We all chose to be emotionally invested, committed into these fandoms.

It’s about that rush of adrenaline when a big news drop about a new season of your favourite show, it’s about that warm feeling of being so proud of one of your favourite celeb when they accomplish something, it’s about that trepidation and the delicious and torturous waiting before a midnight release, it’s about that euphoria when you’re at a concert of your favourite band, surrounded by people who all sing the same lyrics with you, it’s about that deep sense of comfort and belonging when you find a piece of fiction that perfectly encapsulates everything you are and want to be, it’s about that immense relief that you get when you can finally listen to that song that makes everything better.

I don’t know where I would be if I couldn’t escape from time to time to a place where I see so many talented and passionate people talking about those things that are so important to me.

And yeah there’s drama in every fandom from time to time. But it’s always worth it and I feel like we’re always better off in the end.

So thank you to the Harry Potter fandom for the amazing creations, fan fictions, fan arts, plays, projects, for inventing real quidditch... for expanding this universe that he’s so huge and magical because of you, the fans. For taking a stand against the very author of the thing we have in common and taking it as an opportunity to raise awareness and inclusivity for every trans and non binary potterheads. For making Harry Potter OURS so that the legacy of the fandom can live on even if we leave the author behind.

Thank you to the One Direction fandom, that is always oh so full of drama. The one that got me onto tumblr all those years ago where I felt like I found my people. Thank you for your fics, your art, the gifs, the craziness and the dedication. Thank you for making me grow out of my “I’m not like other girls” phase. Thank you to the Larry shippers for making me believe in love. Thank you for the rainbow direction projects and movement that made us all feel celebrated. Being a 1D fan on Tumblr at the peak of 1D fame was some of the most fun I’ve ever had on the internet and I regret nothing.

Thank you to the Supernatural fandom, even if it’s only been 2 months for me. For making me want to see that show that is good but so bad but so good. Thank you for the memes. Thank you for hallucinating with me a better written version of the show. Thank you for the fix it fics. Thank you for using that random cw show as starting point for discussion around queer rep and mental health. Thank you for demanding, all those years ago, that even mainstream teen dramas on tv be better for all of us. You had a real and positive impact on how tv shows are made and thought of, don’t ever doubt it.

And I could so say so many thank yous to so many others but,

I guess what I’m trying to say basically, is a big thank you, to all of you, for not being cool.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re the coolest mofos on this fucking planet. BUT. We don’t play it cool. No matter the fandom, we all have passionate and very strong emotions about specific subjects and we’re completely unhinged on this hellsite (affectionate) about it.

I love seeing someone going apeshit in the tags of a Louis Tomlinson pic cause they can’t express how much they love him other wise.

I love seeing a long ass post about psychoanalysing Dean Winchester, putting more thought into it than even the writers of the show ever did.

I love seeing someone who spends hours making a very elaborate collage of Harry styles painted nails.

I love seeing the very elaborate fan arts of a potterhead who transformed Hogwarts in a place full of gays, ace, bi, non binaries, trans and poc through their drawings.

I love all the inside jokes and concepts inherent to each fandom. The things that you understand only after spending time in the fandom. The way that we can all be a bit too crazy about our passions on here without being mocked.

Fandom is a safe space for strong emotions and I love you all for that.

If I made any sense in this long ass post and you feel me, I would love for people to add what they’re thankful for in their apecific fandoms even if we don’t share it. Thanks, love you all 😘

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