#i can’t spend my money without her immediately wanting to know what I got and why I got it

[spocksgotemotions]

i gotta move out of this fuckin house

[holylulusworld]

How to cure a grump (3)

Summary: You’re losing your job on Christmas.

Pairing: CEO/Boss!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, grumpy Bucky, awful boss, mistaken identity, kinda fake dating trope, snowed-in trope

How to cure a grump (2)

How to cure a grump masterlist

Tonight, you don’t get much sleep. You toss and turn in your bed, knowing your boss, the man costing you your job and future, is sleeping right next door.

How dare he come here to demand shit from you after kicking you out two days before Christmas! Mr. Rogers knew about the password and PIN. He could’ve easily told your boss about it.

“Wait! That bastard!” You sit up on your bed and curse loudly. They are friends. Maybe this is some sick game they are playing. “I won’t be the butt of their jokes!”

When you get out of bed, you push your feet into the Santa Claus-themed slippers your mom got you for Christmas last year. 

Looking down at your body, you chuckle as the shoes look so different from the high heels you wore for work. They look like Santa's face. They have a white, fluffy beard and mustache. A red Santa hat sits atop each slipper.

“Fuck it,” you mutter and storm toward the door. If Barnes wants to mess with you, he’ll pay for it.

You storm into the guest room without knocking, immediately switching the light on.

“What?” Bucky looks at you like a deer in the headlight. He sits on the bed, in nothing but his boxer briefs. While you try not to stare at his abs, muscular arms, or the prominent bulge in his pants, he��s less subtle.

Bucky looks you up and down in your red and white Christmas-themed pajama set. “Are you often wearing onesies?” He snorts. Bucky never spent time with a woman wearing anything but silky nightgowns, or only a smile for bed.

You’re wearing a long-sleeved pajamas onesie style, featuring a fair isle pattern with elves, snowmen, and Christmas trees on a red background with white accents.

You huff. “I didn’t know you hold power over me in the bedroom too. It’s soft and plush, and I don’t give a shit if you like it or not. I want to know why you are here! Is this a trick? Do you and Rogers want to make fun of me?”

“Rogers must’ve forgotten you left the password,” Bucky grunts while wildly gesturing toward you. “I talked to him, and he didn’t mention it. If I knew about it, I wouldn’t have come here to spend the night at a guestroom in the middle of nowhere instead of getting drunk on Barbados, two hot blondes in my arms.”

You wrinkle your nose. “Figures,” you huff. “I’ll call Walt. Maybe, he can help us get you to the airport so you can leave all the little ants working for you behind to spend an annual salary on your vacation!”

“Not my annual salary,” he dares to say. Bucky even smirks, and you lose your temper again. Right when he gets up from the bed to grab his pants, you jump into motion and tackle him to the ground. He yelps as you slap him across the face, once, twice, three times.

Bucky grabs your wrists in an attempt to stop you from hurting him.

“Munchkin is everything—” Your mother chuckles as she watches you sit on top of Bucky. “Oh, kids, I’m sorry. If only I knew you’re celebrating your reunion!” She closes the door behind her, leaving you and Bucky to your fight.

“Tomorrow morning you are gone, bastard,” you growl. “Now let go of me before I castrate you.”

He smirks. “Your mom believed we were having sex. Did you keep her awake often while you were still living here?”

“Says the man whore,” you wiggle in his grip, snarling as he won’t let go. “I’m not the one with an endless stream of women leaving my bedroom.”

“Not only my bedroom.” He still smirks when he finally releases your wrists.

You hurriedly get up and glare at him.

“I don’t care. In the morning, you’ll find a way to get out of my house, and my town. Use your money for something useful for once. And don’t contact me again! You are dead to me”

Slamming the door shut behind you, you huff. How can women fall for your asshole boss? You can’t believe they only see his pretty façade.

“Morning, lovebirds,” your mother chirps as you make your way into the kitchen. She’s humming Last Christmas while you are in a sour mood. Bucky Barnes has this effect on you. “Oh, where’s James?”

You take a deep breath, ready to tell your mother the truth. This is a serious case of mistaken identity. “Mom, uh—do you remember that I told you my boyfriend broke things up with me some time ago?”

“Of course, Munchkin,” she coos while flipping a pancake. “I’m all for second chances, Y/N. Maybe he finally realized how much you mean to him. But—” She points a knife in Bucky’s direction the moment he steps into the kitchen. “If he messes up again, I’ll castrate him!”

“Like mother, like daughter,” Bucky grumbles as he steps further into the room. “Good morning. Please don’t start the new day by castrating me.” He flashes your mom a stunning smile, earning a giggle.

“Oh, I was joking, James,” she says and goes back to preparing breakfast for a whole football team. “What do you like for breakfast? We have waffles, pancakes, bacon, and eggs, or French toast.”

“I usually only eat egg white.” Bucky pats his stomach, rubbing it. “I try to stay fit.”

“For the ladies,” you sarcastically say. “Mom, he won’t stay for breakfast. James will leave now and try to get a flight back to New York.”

“What? No! He must stay for breakfast,” she sniffles and uses her powerful puppy dog look to make your resolve to kick your former boss out crumble. “What about the Christmas dinner? I already planned everything. I was awake all night!”

“Mom,” you sigh. “He needs to take care of business.” It’s not a complete lie. Bucky wants to take care of a few things back in New York. “Do you think we can make it to the airport?”

“No,” she pouts before taking a large bite from one of the waffles. You watch her chew slowly before speaking again. “The streets aren’t the only problem. Maybe we could make it to the airport with your dad’s old truck, but the airport is closed.”

“I got a private jet,” Bucky throws in, earning an angry look from you. Of course, that rich bastard has a private jet.

“James, no plane will take off today, or for the next days. Not even a private jet,” your mother points out. “If you’d excuse me now, I must pick up a few things for Christmas.”

“Mom, what about the snow?” You hate to see her sad face. “Do you want me to get what you need? I was always the better driver.”

“Your dad was the best driver—” She stiffens, and you can see grief flash up in her eyes. No matter how long he’s gone, she’ll always miss your dad. “He taught me everything.”

“I know,” you murmur and hold out your hand to squeeze hers tightly. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“Yeah.” She nods while struggling to hold back a sob. “I forgot to add a few things to my Christmas list. The streets should be free for now. We should hurry before more snow will keep us from leaving.”

Much to your dismay, Bucky decided to join you on your shopping tour. His pilot told him there was not a chance to get back to New York anytime soon. Now he needs a place to stay over the holidays and boots. It’s too damn cold to wear slippers.

“Over there you can buy boots,” you say, and point at the only shop in town selling warm boots. “I’ll get the things on the list, Mom. You can wait here.”

“Alright, Munchkin,” your mom says while watching Bucky look at you, brows furrowed. He dips his head to watch you storm off. “Don’t take it to heart, James. Christmas was always hard for Y/N since her dad passed away, and John left her for some other girl.”

“John, huh?” Bucky asks as you are busy buying everything your mom has on her list. “What happened?”

“It’s not my place to tell you, James. All I can say is that they wanted to marry the next spring and John decided to cheat.” She huffs. “Y/N moved across the county to get away from him, their business, and the girl he chose over her.”

“Their business?” Bucky presses on. “What kind of business?”

“Oh, nothing special. They—” Your mother gasps loudly as John steps toward you at your aunt’s bakery. “No, no! This will ruin Christmas for Y/N!”

“What?” Bucky follows your mother’s eyes, seeing you stiffen as John stands in front of you to chat you up. “That him?”

“Yes, I must stop him from hurting her!”

“Leave this to me.” Your mother smirks when Bucky enters the bakery. She even chuckles as John’s fiancé watches your former boss walk toward you.

Bucky, on the other hand, doesn’t know what came over him until he shoves John out of his way to cup your face and kiss you fiercely.

You whimper against Bucky's warm and plump lips. It's been a while since someone kissed you, and this kiss is on top of your list.

“Dude, excuse me! We were talking,” John grunts as Bucky and you part. You stare at Bucky, unsure what to do. “Hey! This is not the place to make out!”

“What?” Bucky turns around to smirk at John. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there. I was missing my fiancé, is all.”

“Fiancé?” John hiccups as you are too stunned to react. What just happened? Why did your former boss kiss you? Why is John here?

“Yes, fiancé. And I’d appreciate it if you stopped distracting her. Her mom is waiting outside, and it’s damn cold. We don’t want this lovely lady to get sick, don’t we.”

“Sure, sure,” John awkwardly stammers. “It was nice seeing you, Y/N. Have a good Christmas.” John and the woman he chose over you leave the bakery in a hurry.

You’re still shell-shocked and just watch them leave. What else can you do? If you slap Bucky’s face now, John knows this was all just play pretend.

Meanwhile, your mother stands outside the bakery, smiling to herself as Bucky nervously rubs the back of his neck.

How to cure a grump (4)

More tags in reblog.

How to cure a grump@cjand10, @nofingjustaninchident, @pettyjayy, @pattiemac1, @formulas-bitch, @winchestert101, @greatmistakes, @mrsnikstan, @jokersqueenofchaos

[smallestapplin]

Hellooo! Good evening or um good morning so yea I was watching G1 transformers and canonically mirage is like loaded like he's from the upper class. So I um immediately thought that he's sugar daddy material. Like man only picks the finest/expensive cars even from G1. So I'm asking for like um sugar daddy mirage with a human female reader and since he doesn't know how to woo her, he practically buys her attention and time. Like he enjoys watching her spend his money. Casually suggesting that a top that he sees while she's scrolling on her phone and says that it would fit her and that she should buy it. Coincidentally, the color of the top matches his paint. Omg I've made this long huhu now I feel shy. 😿😿

Wait this is actually so cute and funny, I love it. I hope I did this right for you!💖

-

-

Mirage isn’t use to human ways of living and courtship, but he tries so hard to be friendly and welcoming, he wants you to know he’s safe to go to for anything! But falling for you wasn’t on that list, you’re such a tiny thing compared to him, he’s worried he’ll hurt you.

But how could he not? You’re so funny, so kind, always helping him learn more about your culture and Earth in general, even if that means he won’t ever live down calling a trees ‘organic speed stoppers’, but your laughter made it all the more worth it to embarass himself.

Mirage isn’t sure how to court you the human way, so why not his way? It’s not like he can ask anyone either, lest the tell you or make fun of him for falling for a human.

He shows off, racing Sunstreaker and Sideswipe often, doing dangerous stunts, taking sharp turns, making sure he’s flashy enough for you in his alt mode. He lives for your cheers, lives on your priase. The twins know what he’s doing, it’s what ever racer does to gain the affection of someone.

Yet you don’t pick up on that, you gush over him sure, telling him how cool that was! How cool he is! But it doesn’t seem to click, not that Mirage can fault for you that, you’ve never had anyone court you like that.

So, why not gifts? Gifts are a universal love language that can’t go wrong!

“Mirage, you really didn’t have to get me anything, being with you is more than enough.”

How you have him wrapped around your tiny organic digit, making him swoon and spark pulse.

“It’s no problem, really! I wanna show you how much I care about you, so it wasn’t difficult to find a way to buy things for ya!”

He’s too kind, even bought everything himself after hacking (very easily) into your phone and used his own funds to spoil you. Until he got a com from you the day all the packages arrived.

“How many things did you buy me!?”

“Eh, it wasn’t costly so I don’t really remember.”

“Wasn’t costly? Mirage, this must’ve cost my life’s savings!”

You thank him over and over and over again, but he doesn’t mind, always smiling at you and simply asking if you liked what he bought you. It makes your cheeks burn when he does that, asking so sweetly, honestly you might think he’d have an ulterior motive.

The skirts, the dresses, the tops all ranging fm cozy to cute to flirty, pants much the same, he’s even bought you expensive consoles, games, and even things you complained about needing to replace or needing in general.

Each time you cry he doesn’t need to buy you anything, yet the large bot just looks at you with hearts in his optics telling you it’s fine.

Soon nearly sixty percent of your outfits are all things he’s bought you, like a silent claim over you, you can’t move in your home without being reminded of him.

But then that top came in, the one he had been waiting for, and once it did he didn’t bother trying to hide his want to see it. He sits in your drive way in his alt mode, awaiting to see how you look, and by the all spark he’s nt disapppointed.

“Does it look okay?”

You aren’t exactly a big fan of crop tops, but the high waisted jeans you are wearing cover you enough to feel comfortable. The crop top itself is loose and flowy, honestly you could see yourself wearing it around more in the house.

It’s mainly blue with tie dyed black, white, and red, matching his colors perfectly.

You look stunning.

You jump a little, hearing his engines rev loudly. You laugh softly at the display.

“I take it you like it?”

“Remind me to get you a sporty top in those colors.” He sounds near breathless.

“My, Mirage, if i didn’t know any better I’d say you just want us to match.” You tease, laughing at how his engine outright purrs at your words.

Oh, if only you knew how right you were.

Matching, like a couple, like the couple he desperately wants you two to be, loudly claiming you as his.

[itsgaga]

Paprazzi

“Y/N over here” 

“Nikki”

“Come on Y/N can I get a smile from you”

The flashing lights never stopped, every time your eyes would try to adjust, another storm of flaring lights would blind you. When you and Nikki first got together you were able to deal with the paparazzi, some were actually quite nice and would only ask for a picture or two and then leave you alone, some were more determined to get as many pictures as they could but still they were never rude ;however, as time went on their attention and actions shifted. They once were only focused on yours and Nikki’s relationship but recently they started following you even when Nikki wasn’t there. Their words changed, they once would compliment you, tell Nikki how lucky he was, and would have nice small talk with you, but now, they want to know where you’re going, who with, and for long, insults can be heard when they’re around, they run after you, and follow you in cars, and will sneak around regardless of where you are. 

Today was supposed to be just a normal day, you and Nikki had gone out to get away from the spotlight, the plan was to just go and sit in a cafe hours away from your guys’ home in a small town hoping no one would recongize either of you so you guys could get away from the camera and spend a day without the stress that comes along with being famous ;however, as soon as you guys pulled into the parking lot men with cameras came jumping out of their blacked out cars, all running torwards your direction.

You looked at Nikki, who was looking at the crowd. “Shit” Nikki put the car in reverse but before he could take his foot off the brake the car is surrounded from every angle. Loud screams were coming from outside the car. “Y/N and Nikki” “Y/N and Nikki” “Y/N and Nikki” that’s all you heard, over and over again.

It was never ending, minutes had passed and Nikki had given up, he’s sitting in the front seat with his head resting on the back and his hands covering his face.  The men were clearly getting frustrated and changed their approach to getting what they wanted.

“Nikki, how good is Y/N? You think you’d ever give me a chance to find out”

Nikki removed his hands from his face and looked outside the car.

“Hey man, don’t start”

A guy standing outside your window speaks up.

“Well, if she’s gonna dress like a whore she’s gonna be treated like a whore.”

Nikki was mad, his emotions were all over his face, you could tell he wanted to say something. “Nikki don’t, they just want a reaction” Nikki looked at you then looked down. “We need to leave.” Before you could tell Nikki theres no way to get out, Nikki once again put the car in reverse and began backing up.

Loud shouts from the back of the car were yelling at him to stop, Nikki rolled down his window and told them to get out of the way. Again, the man from your side speaks up.

“Hey Nik, are those things real on her?”

Nikki ignored him.

“I think fake tits look like shit.”

Again, he ignored him.

It wasn’t until the man just flat out called you a whore when Nikki finally snapped and swung the car door open, the man saw Nikki and tried to calm him down.

“Hey, no no Nikki it’s just my job, i’m just doing this for money, I didn’t mean it man, seriously.”

Within seconds Nikki was threatening to beat his ass, there was pushing and shoving and screaming with flashes from the camera. You were done, you wanted to leave, with numerous insults and what felt like thousands of photos being taken, you were just done.

Rolling down the window you yell for Nikki multiple times, he made his way back to the car, clearly still pissed off and got in immediately driving off. “I can’t believe it, I can’t fucking believe it.”  Nikki sighed and looked at you.

“Are you alright, babe.”

You just look at Nikki, give a soft smile, grab his hand, and look out the window. The car ride back was quiet, except for the occasional whispers coming from Nikki, complaining about the paparazzi and muttering a bunch of threats.

He squeezes your hand causing you to look at him “I’m just saying I would’ve beaten his ass if you would’ve let me”. You roll your eyes and smile. “I know babe” Nikki looks at you.

“I’m being serious”

“I know you are”

“Really? Cause I feel like you don’t believe me”

You and Nikki continue back and forth the entire car ride home, completely forgetting about everything that just happened. Realizing only then that you two didn’t need to drive hours away to go somewhere to feel some sort of peace and forget about everything else going on in your lives, the entire time the two of you could’ve just found peace in each other.

Bro. I hate the ending. With a passion. I rewrote it about 7 times. I didnt wanna give up. But i’m tired. Ready for a nap. So enjoy.

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Serenity

[Shadow of the Tomb Raider] Lara Croft x Female Reader

Word Count: 5.12k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Touch starved Lara (?), feelings of homesickness, fear of death, mentions of mourning, brief descriptions of wounds

Categories:

Angst Fluff Mix

One-Shot Preference Headcanon

[A/N]: Wanted to try a bit of a different format for the summary, hope it makes sense.

Enjoy!

Harsh winds whipped past the shape of the land, bending around every mountain and down every ravine and valley like ribbon. Shivering harshly and clutching onto her heavy coat, Lara sighed, planting herself in front of the campfire she had set up. As the flames crackled to life and began to grow, she scooted closer, holding her hands out towards the blazing heat in an attempt to warm them. She huffed out hot air into her cupped palms before rubbing them together and shifting to hold them out again.

She repeated this motion a few more times before wriggling her fingers around a bit. Once she was sure they were warmed up enough, she slipped her journal out from her traveler’s pack and took her pen out. She flipped over to the next blank page, beginning to jot things down with stiff hands. It started with her summarizing all that had happened during the current expedition up until that point, but quickly shifted to her feelings of homesickness. It wasn’t the manor or her private apartment she was missing, however. She was missing the woman waiting for her back home.

A small smile of content formed on her lips at the mere thought of her.

“God, [Y/N], I wish you were…”

She shook her head as a chill ran down her spine, as if she was being reminded of the brutal conditions she was in. With a small struggle, she scribbled out the ending of the sentence before starting a new one.

“No, I wish I was there with you. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss you. Especially how warm you are. It’s freezing out here, although I’m not sure what I was expecting. Even when we stayed by the hot springs for a bit, my hands were too frozen to do anything. Writing this right now is extremely difficult because we’re headed toward the peak of a mountain where the snow is really dense. The altitude levels are getting high, and it’s making some of the crew sick, so we had to set up camp in the meantime. Aside from Jonah, the crew here doesn’t really care for all of this. They’re either doing it for the media exposure or for the money. The majority of them have made it clear that they aren’t doing it for the sake of discovery. I do kind of wish you were here in all honesty. Jonah is interested in what we’re looking for, but it always takes some convincing with him. With you, you’re always on board immediately. And, according to the others, you share the same level of enthusiasm as me. I guess I never really noticed it.

“Which is honestly a bit of a surprise. I know I can get a bit…aggressive about these things, or obsessive. People tell me I start getting picky about things once I realize they don’t have the same interests and intentions as me. And Sam wonders why I don’t like hanging out with other people.”

She laughed softly to herself, skimming over her words before she continued writing.

“Except you, of course. I wish I could bring you along with me to these expeditions, but I’m just…worried Trinity is going to get to you somehow, and aside from Jonah, you’re the only one I have left. If they got ahold of you, I don’t know what I’d do with myself. I’ve lost too many people already. I can’t lose you too.”

A small pause. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself during these trips anymore. Before she had met [Y/N], she had gotten used to sleeping alone and spending the majority of her time alone. She could go on journeys without worrying about returning home to someone. She didn’t want to die, that wasn’t what she was thinking of. She just didn’t feel guilty about trips taking longer than she initially planned. Deep down, though, she knew [Y/N] understood. Each time she’d make it home to her girlfriend, she was always greeted with relief and excitement rather than annoyance and resentment.

During the nights where she was alone on the expeditions, she could eventually get herself to fall asleep for short periods of time, pretending she was back home in bed with her girlfriend, cuddled up together under the blankets and sleeping in.

Another thing she had to readjust to was doing things solo. The only thing she tended to do on her own at the manor anymore was paperwork. [Y/N] would do everything with her there: researching, reading, cleaning, taking trips to different cities, and so on and so forth. She had grown so accustomed to that to where she found herself itching to talk to someone or move around at the campsites when she used to just sit there and think to herself.

She genuinely enjoyed the idea of having someone to come home to every time, but it still caused guilt when anything went wrong. There was a near-constant worry that her job was straining the relationship, regardless of what [Y/N] told her.

She had never been in a relationship before, so she really had no idea what to expect. It was stressful trying to learn how to open up to someone, but once she realized she could fully trust [Y/N], she found it much easier to start talking about her past.

Another sigh slipped past her lips, her gaze dropping down to the page of her journal again.

“I can’t wait to get home to you again. And honestly, I never thought I’d be able to say that. With how often I’m traveling, I figured I wouldn’t find someone who was willing to put up with my constant researching and preparing. I suppose I could take you on easier trips where I know Trinity won’t be. I could teach you how to go rock climbing and the basics of how to survive out in the wilderness.”

A sense of fondness washed over her, remembering how Roth would take her backpacking and traveling to random places so she could learn all of his tricks.

“If Roth were still here, I bet I could’ve convinced him to let you come with us to one of our training expeditions. He loved teaching all about journeying. He probably would’ve talked your ear off the way he did with me.”

Once more, a soft laugh escaped her.

“I’d honestly give anything to hear him lecture me about trusting my instinct again. You would’ve loved him. He was a good man.”

She studied her entry, repeatedly skimming over Roth’s name scribbled out in her shaky handwriting. 

“I wish you could’ve met him.”

She frowned at the memory of what happened in Yamatai, guilt beginning to bubble up to the surface again. She sighed, trying to shift her focus to something else.

“I can’t wait to get back home to you. I miss you. Hopefully I’ll be able to see you sooner rather than later. I already want to come back just so I can be with you again. I love you.”

Gently, she shut her journal and tucked it away again, dropping her pen in on top of it before zipping the bag shut. Once she placed the bag to her side, she shifted to turn back to the fire, which had grown to a decent size. Her unfocused gaze watched the flames in front of her dance wildly to the bitterly cold gusts of wind. Soon, as she waited for Jonah to call her over, her mind wandered off, her body shivering, aching, and craving to be in her warm, plush bed by [Y/N]’s side again.

The expedition finally came to an end. Unfortunately, it had taken an extra three days thanks to Trinity’s operation disrupting everything. Lara was returning home with another artifact, one which she planned to donate to a local museum instead of adding to her personal collection. She asked Jonah to drop the artifact off for her, her expression alone telling him all he needed to know. He agreed, knowing she just wanted to get home to [Y/N] again and rest. Once the plane landed and they disembarked with their luggage, Lara instantly found her car still parked in a private garage she had paid for ahead of time.

She hopped in instantly after tucking her small amount of luggage into the trunk, started the engine, and sped off toward her home. The majority of the drive there, she reflected on what had happened during the expedition. Although she had been in a warm environment for hours on the way back, she still felt chilled to the bone after swimming in glacial waters for hours on end. All she craved was to get home and warm all the way up so she could sleep comfortably, even though she knew the moment the numbness subsided, her joints would ache even more.

Once she finally arrived, she parked her car in her usual spot and headed inside, completely forgetting about the bags in the trunk. Her body felt like it would collapse any minute, so she was desperately trying to get inside and find [Y/N].

With a great deal of effort, straining the aching muscles in her arms and back, she shoved the main door open leading into the front parlor. Before any of the servants could lead her somewhere to get her injuries treated or get changed into warmer clothes, Lara made a beeline to the stairs leading up to the second floor of the main building. She wobbled down the hall to her bedroom door, weakly pushing it open with a small grunt of pain. She didn’t spot [Y/N] in the bedroom right away, so she checked the bathroom attached to it.

She wasn’t there either. Odd.

With a groan, she forced herself to trudge back out of the room and down the hall, planning to check the library next. And if she wasn’t there, she’d search the main study. Before she could make it to the doorway leading to the library, [Y/N] stepped out carrying a couple of books. When she spotted Lara, her face lit up, excitedly placing the books aside on a nearby console table and rushing over to the brunette. At the sight of [Y/N] heading her direction, a small surge of energy bolted through Lara’s senses. She beamed over at her and opened her arms, sighing in relief when the smaller woman leaned heavily into her embrace.

“Lara, you’re back! How was the trip? Find anything good?”

Lara grinned wider at her enthusiasm–a breath of fresh air to have someone show genuine interest in her own passion. “Yeah, we found an old artifact, but I told Jonah to just go donate it to the local museum. I don’t have much space left on the shelves in my study, and I don’t want to clutter our room with them.” [Y/N] chuckled at her words, a small nod as her response as they remained in their embrace a moment longer.

At length, much to Lara’s dismay, [Y/N] leaned back. One hand dropped down to gently take hold of the brunette’s, and the other lifted to cup her cheek. At the feeling of warmth against her face, Lara leaned into the touch, her eyes shutting as she sighed. “C’mon,” [Y/N] started softly with a warm smile, “let’s get you patched up and changed. Then you can get some sleep.” Before she could try to refute, Lara yawned and nodded, wearily following the smaller woman’s lead as she carefully tugged her toward the bedroom again.

Once in there, she sat Lara down on the bed, retrieved the First Aid kit from the medical cabinet in the bathroom, and joined her on the mattress, which the brunette seemed to immediately sink into. She pulled out a damp rag she had also grabbed and began to dab cautiously at the scratches and cuts littered across Lara’s skin. When she began to apply the antiseptic, she earned a few hisses of pain, though they quickly died down with each passing second. All the while, Lara’s eyelids were growing heavier. She did her best to bite back her yawns, though most of them still snuck through.

After cleaning all of the visible marks, [Y/N] stitched up what she needed to, and applied bandages to what was left. She quickly packed the kit back up and stored it in the bathroom once more. Then, she helped Lara head into the bathroom and get undressed, helping her step into the bath when the warm water filled up enough. Once the brunette was situated and comfortable, [Y/N] took her hair down for her and began to rinse and lather it with the shampoo she had set up beforehand. Once her hair was clean, she then washed Lara’s back, shoulders, and mostly everything but her stomach, legs, and mostly whatever was underneath the water, which she let the Croft do on her own.

By the time Lara was clean and wrapped up in a towel after stepping out of the tub, [Y/N] left and came back in carrying a pair of clothes that had just been pulled out from the dryer. She gave the brunette a bit of privacy to get dressed. Lara hummed contentedly at the warm, soft fabric brushing across her skin: a pair of black fleece pants with a slightly oversized gray t-shirt.

She stood after tugging her clothes on. After folding the towel back up enough to hang on the rack on the wall, she flipped the lightswitch off and left the bathroom, finding [Y/N] standing by the bed with a tray in her hands. Curiously, Lara walked over and sat down at the foot of the bed with an eyebrow raised. Before she could question what it was, [Y/N] moved to hand the tray to her, revealing her favorite dish warmed up and placed nicely on a plate.

At the sight of it, she blinked, and soon looked back up at her girlfriend, who had moved to her own side of the bed. “Go ahead and eat. I wanted you to have something in your stomach so it doesn’t growl and wake you up like last time.”

With a pleased grin, Lara nodded and shifted up to her spot in bed to prop herself up against the headboard. She was quick to pick up her fork and dig into the dish, clearly grateful to have something prepared for her instead of needing to fix something for herself the way she had done the past few days in the wilderness. It saved her a lot of time and energy, all of which she could spend on recovering from the trip. Within minutes, the plate was clean and her cup was empty. She moved to get up and bring it to the kitchen downstairs, but [Y/N] was quick to stop her and take it from her hands. “Hey, no, go ahead and stay here, alright? I really just want you to relax for a while.”

Even if Lara had planned on refusing the help, it would’ve been no use, as [Y/N] was already by the door by the time she finished speaking. She quickly slipped out of the room, leaving Lara there to wait. She hadn’t even had a chance to nod. She sighed, shuffling downward to bundle up underneath the thick blankets layering her mattress and tugging them partially over her head. The moment her head made contact with her pillow, she groaned in relief, the plush surface welcoming her and pulling her into a partial slumber already.

She fought to stay awake a little longer, however, wanting to be cuddled up against [Y/N] as she slept so she could hear her heartbeat. Ever since the two had started sharing the bed, that’s how Lara fell asleep. It’s why going on long expeditions was so difficult sometimes–she had no heartbeat to listen to, no breathing she could hear but her own, and no warmth to lean into when she got a chill or had a strange dream that kept her eyes pried open in alarmed confusion. Another yawn pushed past her lips, her eyes slowly fluttering shut. Just as she was close to being lulled into sleep, the bedroom door creaked open again. [Y/N] stepped inside and turned the lights off, then headed over to the windows and closed all the heavy curtains, leaving a very dull light in the room.

She then crawled into her side of the bed, though she was quickly met with Lara scooting over and pressing her head against her chest, planting her ear directly over the girl’s sternum to hear the steady thumping of her heartbeat resting safely behind her ribs. A sigh of relief made its way from Lara. She wriggled over a bit, nuzzled her face further into the blankets, and finally settled for a position. With a small smile, [Y/N] rolled over just enough to wrap both of her arms around the brunette’s torso. She pulled her closer as softly as she could.

“Did you wanna talk about the trip?” She whispered softly. A bit of a delay, but Lara answered with a small shake of her head. “No,” she murmured almost inaudibly. “Maybe tomorrow.” [Y/N] nodded in response. She slid one of her arms over a bit, earning a groan of disapproval, though it was quickly replaced by an even fainter groan of pleasure once her fingernails began to gently rake through Lara’s brunette locks. [Y/N] repeated this motion for a while before changing to let her nails scratch soothingly at the sore muscles of the taller woman’s back. “Mmm, what about you?” Lara finally managed to slur out after a few minutes.

[Y/N] hummed, confused. “What about me?” She questioned quietly. Again, there was a pause before she got a response. “What about your day? Tell me…about your day.”

“Oh. Well, it wasn’t very eventful, to be honest. I just helped some of the maids and then read a few books. That’s why I was leaving the library when you made it in.”

“Mmh.”

Lara groaned and shuffled even closer. “I missed you so much,” she whispered. [Y/N] beamed down at her, pure adoration in her eyes. “I missed you too.” She pressed a kiss to the brunette’s forehead, to which Lara responded by scrunching up her nose and leaning her head forward, wordlessly asking for another one. The smaller woman complied after letting a gentle giggle slip in between breaths and pressed a longer kiss to Lara’s head, earning a small huff of satisfaction.

For a while longer, [Y/N] continued to talk about whatever came to mind. Lara wasn’t entirely listening, she just wanted to hear her voice, but [Y/N] already knew that. She didn’t mind. She could talk about seeing a bird on the window sill, and Lara would still find it calming solely because she could hear her speaking. She could hear the low rumbling and vibrations in her chest with every word spoken, and on top of the sound of her heartbeat, it was like the ultimate white noise for Lara.

She wasn’t entirely sure why it brought her so much comfort, but she certainly wasn’t complaining. It helped her fall asleep and stay asleep, which is something she struggled with for the longest time. Being able to get a proper night’s rest felt so refreshing.

Especially after having to be on high alert and sleep lightly for weeks on end during most of her journeys.

After a while, [Y/N] ran out of things to talk about. However, knowing that hearing her make noise was what helped Lara fall asleep, she opted to sing softly instead. An hour or so must’ve passed before Lara’s breathing deepened and slowed, evening out as her body signaled she was fully asleep. After finishing the song she had been practically humming at that point, [Y/N] stopped singing. When she fell silent, her own eyes beginning to droop from fatigue, Lara tugged her closer, unconsciously trying to find the source of the noise again. She settled after a moment when her hearing focused in on her heartbeat once more.

She mumbled something under her breath, though the blankets muffled most of it. The other half of the incoherent speech was caused by her lack of conscience. [Y/N] didn’t mind it though. Finally being able to hold Lara safely in her arms again after two and a half weeks was all she had been wanting. She glanced down at her, smiling tiredly and pressing a gentle kiss to her head again before yawning and closing her eyes.

Soon enough, she fell into a deep slumber as well.

The following morning, the sun crept in through the blinds, alerting everyone of its wake. Bright golden beams trailed their way into the bedroom, sneaking up the covers and making Lara suddenly aware of her surroundings again. She grumbled, calloused fingertips grasping at the hem of the comforter that had slipped from over her head and tugging upward, desperately trying to block out the warmth that stirred her awake. It had been years–until she met [Y/N], anyway–since she had been able to sleep in peacefully without the overwhelming worry of needing to constantly accomplish something. She wanted to stay asleep at least long enough to finish her dream.

For a moment, she smirked to herself, noticing just how soft she had gotten once her relationship had been established with the other woman. Had they never met, nor had they gotten as close as they did, she’d likely still be awake at this hour, buried away in her personal study with stacks of books and loose files strewn about.

With a sense of bitter hesitation, one in which she debated falling back into the dream she had been having just a moment prior–which thankfully wasn’t another nightmare keeping her awake–she let her weary eyes flutter open. A small shove downward let the covers fall free from over her head again, begrudgingly allowing the sunlight to caress her features in a more willing manner. A sigh of relief slipped past her lips once she was able to let her eyes adjust to the blazing beams of light dancing around with each small movement.

After a moment of gaining her bearings, she yawned, drowsily rubbing the exhaustion from her eyes as she shifted over to find [Y/N] still resting at her side. The corners of her lips perked up into a small smile of contentment at the sight. She hummed, shuffled up to let her head rest even in front of [Y/N]’s, and gazed over at her.

The light that had disturbed Lara of her rest now brought her a sense of peace. The warm glow of the amber streaks lighting up the room seemed to embrace every little mark across [Y/N]’s skin, highlighting each scar and stray freckle. Never before had she seemed so at ease in her slumber–or maybe Lara had been too focused on holding her close to have noticed. She noticed it now, though.

And she intended to savor every minute of it.

Moments passed, and her hands were itching to feel the softness of the woman’s skin. With a slight ounce of uncertainty, worried she might stir her awake, she finally lifted her hand from the spot on the mattress next to her and drove it up to let the backs of her fingers graze over [Y/N]’s cheek, huffing out a small sigh at the warmth as though she hadn’t been pressed tightly against her mere moments before.

Her fingers trailed up to tuck a few loose strands of hair behind the sleeping woman’s ear, slowly and silently shuffling forward to press a featherlike kiss to her forehead. At the feeling of soft lips and touches against her skin, [Y/N] began to wake, her brows furrowing together momentarily in thought, as if she were stuck between her dreams and lucidity. Her features softened just as quickly as they tightened, followed by her eyes flitting open and instantaneously focusing on the smitten gaze in front of her. She hummed, grinning and letting her hand slide up to gently take hold of Lara’s. With a small squeeze to her lax hand, [Y/N] turned her head to press an equally soft kiss to her palm.

“Morning,” she murmured against her skin, letting her focus flicker back toward the deep brown eyes now somehow filled with even more love than before.

“Morning,” came her faint reply.

“Are you feeling better now that you’ve slept?” Lara grinned, nodding almost unnoticeably. She carefully slipped her hand from [Y/N]’s, then letting it trail down to the smaller woman’s hip. Once moving a bit closer, as well as shuffling back down further into the comforter, she wrapped both arms around [Y/N]’s waist, tugging her closer and letting her head fall against her chest. Once [Y/N]’s chin moved to rest atop the brunette’s head, Lara sighed, her eyes fluttering shut once more. “Yes, but if I’m being completely honest, my entire body is aching right now. So much happened before I got back.”

She chuckled, wincing to herself at the sudden jolt of pain that erupted from the nerves in the skin taut against her stomach. “I don’t know if I can physically get up yet. Or if I'll be able to at all today.”

A playful snicker sounded above her, prompting her to lift her head and look up at [Y/N]. “Are you sure that’s why? Or do you just want to stay in bed and cuddle like this for the day?” Lara rolled her eyes with a smirk of her own. “I’m telling you: every single muscle in my body is painfully sore. I could get up if I absolutely needed to, but I don’t, so I’d really just prefer to stay here.”

With a moment in between the playful banter, Lara dropped her head back against [Y/N]’s chest. She waited, pondering what she wanted to say as her nails gently scratched at the soft fabric of the shirt she leaned against, sighing silently at the feeling of the motion being reciprocated in a far more soothing way. As she focused on [Y/N] tracing random shapes and words against her scarred skin, subconsciously wondering if she could make out anything specific if she focused, she closed her eyes.

“But even if I somehow wasn’t sore like I am now, I’d absolutely want to stay like this for the day. I missed you,” although her voice had already started off gentle, her tone only seemed to drift further into silence. Whether it stemmed from sheepishness or fatigue, [Y/N] didn’t know. She didn’t mind it, however, and instead pulled her closer. “I missed you too. So very much.”

She paused, one of her hands stroking the brunette strands sprawled out on the mattress behind Lara as her brow creased in thought. “I do worry about you though,” she admitted after what felt like hours, not sure if Lara was still even awake at the moment or if she had heard her. She had, however, and was quick to gaze back up at her, partially hidden way beneath the comforter. Her eyes, which had just been staring at her with a mix of blissful fatigue and love, were now a concoction of bleary concern and confusion. “Why?”

“Because sometimes I worry that something is going to happen to you while you’re away, and I’m never going to know. I mean, I know you won’t go down without a fight, but I’m still terrified that there will be a day where I see you alive for the last time. That thought alone plagues my mind every single time you leave, and it just…scares me?” She scoffed. “No, it’s so much more than just feeling scared. I’m terrified beyond belief that a thought like that could somehow become a reality.”

She hadn’t realized she had begun rambling until Lara shifted up to be eye-level with her again, a far more serious expression taking over. With her features creased with concern, Lara cupped [Y/N]’s face, the pads of her thumbs stroking away the tears that she hadn’t even realized had fallen. When had she started crying?

“I promise you I’m never going to let that happen, alright? There’ve been so many times I shouldn’t have been able to survive, but I did. Like you said: I won’t go down without a fight. And now that I have you here, I have all the more reason to fight to stay alive. I couldn’t bear the thought of never coming home to you. Just…don’t ever worry about me not coming home, okay? One way or another, I’ll find a way to get back to you.”

Her tone softened with every passing word, her heart and mind filling with relief upon seeing a gentle smile grace [Y/N]’s lips. She returned her grin and leaned forward to rest their foreheads together. “Even if it means I have to admit to Jonah that I’m wrong,” she added with a fake annoyance and a small roll of her eyes. [Y/N] couldn’t help but chuckle at her words, allowing Lara to finally let out a small sigh of solace.

“I wouldn’t trade my time with you for anything,” she reassured, trading roles and pulling [Y/N] into her chest instead. “Not for an artifact, not for a trip to some uncharted land, not for my studies, not for anything. I know I may not be the best at showing it, but I truly love you, [Y/N]. I promise you that I’ll always find my way back to you.”

At her reassurance, [Y/N] nuzzled closer to focus in on her heartbeat, unable to bite back the wide smile that stretched across her lips. “I love you too,” she whispered.

Her words were true, she just wished she could find a way to prove it to her every day. Regardless of how invested she could get in her studies or research for her next expedition somewhere far away, she wouldn’t trade these moments of serenity for the world. She treasured them far more than any artifact she had discovered, and would do anything to ensure more of those memories could be made. Not even the strongest forces out there would stop her from returning to the one person she could call home, and she vowed, one way or another, to make sure it stayed that way for good.

[onlinesuzie]

♡ martin’s dare for you and hamzah ♡

words: 2.3k

genre: i’m not sure but there is heavy making out

summary: You and Hamzah were put together for a video idea. The only issue is that you have to stay alone in the same small hotel room, and with Martin and Mandy’s teasing truth or dares for the video, you and Hamzah share a little more than was expected.

note: still working on my hamzah x love island pt.2 but wanted to post so i hope you enjoy!!

☆

With the growth of the channel, Hamzah and Martin wanted to create higher-budget content for their new subscribers. This time, they decided to film a budget hotel compared to an expensive hotel video like many YouTubers had been doing recently. They realized that with the influx in followers, they would have to separate themselves to create a more exciting video. While Martin was set to bring Mandy along for the luxurious stay, Hamzah found himself without a filming partner for the budget hotel.

You and Hamzah had known each other through Martin when you were in school together. You were a help for the channel for a while, not necessarily an editor, but you would always be there to be a second set of eyes for any videos the channel would release. You had helped them because of your close relationship with Martin, but it would be a lie to say that you didn’t enjoy the nights you would be left alone on call with Hamzah while you went over video ideas when Martin was gone.

Nervous excitement coursed through you as you thought of him. You couldn't help but feel delighted that they would invite you along; it felt like the perfect opportunity to get to know each other better. You thought well of Hamzah; you always saw him as hardworking and dedicated to the channel, but you wished you could know more about him. He was always quite awkward sometimes on call when it was just the two of you, and you hoped that any nerves you were worried about would be smoothed out by the time the video came around.

———

The café was buzzing with chatter as you walked in, scanning the room for familiar faces. Mandy and Martin had chosen a cozy corner table by the window, and you spotted them immediately. Hamzah was already there, sitting across from them, nursing a coffee. The sight of him sent a little flutter through your stomach.

“Hey, sorry I’m late!” you called out as you approached the table.

Mandy waved you over with a big smile. “No worries! We just got here ourselves. Grab a seat!”

You slid into the chair next to Hamzah, feeling a slight thrill as your knees brushed under the table. “Hey, Hamzah,” you said, trying to keep your tone casual.

“Hey,” he replied, giving you a warm smile. His eyes lingered on you for a moment longer than necessary, and you felt a blush creep onto your face.

Martin leaned back in his chair, looking relaxed. “So, you guys ready for this? Epic, cool, rich, amazing me and Mandy versus you two. Should be interesting, still can’t believe that you agreed for me and Mandy get the better one.”

“It’s just cause I actually like Mandy and want her to have a nice room, unlike you,” you joked, nudging Hamzah playfully.

Hamzah chuckled, though you could sense a bit of his usual nervousness with you. “Yeah, I’m sure Mandy and Martin will still find a way to complain though, especially Martin cause that’s literally all he knows.”

Mandy rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Oh, come on, Hamzah. You’ll have fun too. Just think of it as an experience.”

Hamzah nodded, taking a sip of his drink. “Yeah, I know. It’ll be fine.”

Martin leaned forward, excitement in his eyes. “Alright, so here’s the plan. We’ll check into our respective hotels, get some footage of the rooms and our first impressions. Then, we’ll each order room service and document what we get. Should give us a good comparison I think.”

“How do we even know that we can get room service?” Hamzah questioned

“Well that would be even better! Maybe you’d actually spend your money on getting dinner with a girl instead of just talking about it all the time” Mandy laughed

“I literally didn’t even ask you” Hamzah bickered back.

Everyone agreed, the plan seeming solid. As the conversation continued, you couldn’t help but notice how Hamzah’s gaze kept drifting toward you. The four of you spent the next hour discussing the logistics of the video, what shots to capture, and how to compare the two hotels effectively. Despite the casual nature of the conversation, you felt a growing sense of anticipation for the evening ahead.

As you all stood up to leave, Mandy gave you a sly smile. “You two have fun tonight. And Hamzah, take care of our girl here.”

Hamzah blushed slightly, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, of course. We’ll be fine.”

Martin placed his hand on Hamzah’s back. “Just think of it as another mukbang for the channel. And remember, we can always edit out any embarrassing moments.”

Hamzah laughed, though you could see the tension in his eyes. “Got it. No pressure, right?”

As you walked out of the café, you fell into step beside Hamzah. “You okay?” you asked softly.

He glanced at you, a small smile playing on his lips. “Yeah, just... a little nervous, I guess. But I’m glad you’re coming along.”

“Me too,” you replied, feeling a warmth spread through you at his words.

As you all made your way to the parking lot, you couldn’t shake the feeling that tonight was going to be more than just another video shoot. The unspoken tension between you and Hamzah was getting thick.

When you arrived at the budget hotel, the reality struck. The room was small, and the only bed was a double. Hamzah's stomach twisted at the thought of sharing such intimate quarters. "This is... cozy," he said, forcing a laugh.

You grinned, "More like snug, but we'll make it work!"

The budget hotel room felt cramped, a stark contrast to the lavish suite Mandy and Martin were enjoying just a few streets down. You and Hamzah sat on the edge of the small bed, laptops open as you looked over a list of dares sent by Martin and Mandy.

"Okay, your turn," you said, stifling a laugh as you read aloud,

"Truth or dare?"

Hamzah leaned back, arms crossed, trying to play it cool. "Dare, obviously. I'm not afraid of whatever Martin has to say."

With a grin, you scrolled down the list until you found one that made your eyes widen. "Let's see... Oh, this one's interesting.

“Kiss someone in the room!"

Hamzah's eyes widened, and he quickly glanced around the tiny space as if looking for an escape. "Uh, no way. That must've been meant for Martin and Mandy. We can't do that one," he stammered, his nervousness evident.

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. "Come on, Hamzah.

Don't be a coward. It's just a dare! Besides, it's not like Martin and Mandy would mind-they're probably expecting us to follow through."

"Seriously? Martin must be messing with us. He's being so cringe including that dare," Hamzah mumbled, clearly flustered.

"There's no way I'm doing it."

You leaned in slightly, enjoying the effect your words had on him.

"Then why don't you just kiss me? Unless you're scared," you challenged, your tone playful but laced with sincerity.

Hamzah swallowed hard, his eyes darting around as he searched for a safe response. "You're joking, right?"

"Not really," you replied, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. "Come on, it's just a kiss."

"Okay, okay! I'll do it," he said, his resolve shaky but determined.

"But just a quick peck, alright?"

You nodded, excitement bubbling inside you. Hamzah moved closer, hesitating for a moment before leaning in. Your heart raced as his lips brushed against yours, light and tentative.

It was soft-just a fleeting moment-but it sent electricity coursing through you. He pulled back quickly, his eyes wide.

"See? Not so scary, right?"

You bit your lip, feeling a surge of boldness. "Maybe not so scary, but definitely not enough," you teased.

Before Hamzah could respond, you reached out, your hand touching his arm. The room seemed to shrink around you as you leaned in again. This time, the kiss deepened, your lips moving together with a newfound urgency. Hamzah's hand found its way to your waist, pulling you closer.

His lips were soft but insistent, moving against yours with nervousness, but more eagerness. You responded, your fingers threading through his hair as the kiss grew more passionate. You could feel his breath quicken, matching your own as the intensity between you heightened.

Hamzah's hand slid up the back of your shirt, sending shivers down your spine. He broke the kiss for a moment, his forehead resting against yours, eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation.

Seeing none, he leaned in again, this time letting his lips trail down to your neck.

"Is this okay?" he murmured against your skin, his breath warm and tantalizing.

"Yes," you whispered back, your voice barely audible. "Don't stop."

The sensation of his lips on your neck made you gasp softly, “Hamzah…” a thrill running through you. You tilted your head slightly, giving him better access, and he took full advantage, his kisses growing more confident and daring.

"You taste amazing," he breathed, his words sending another shiver through you.

The white noise of the camera equipment around you faded away, leaving just the two of you in your own world. Each kiss, each touch, felt like a new discovery, and the cramped hotel room seemed to disappear as you lost yourselves in the moment. Hamzah's hand cupped your cheek, guiding your lips back to his. The kiss deepened further, his tongue brushing against yours, eliciting a soft moan from you. The passion between you was undeniable, and you both reveled in the electricity of the moment.

"You have no idea how long l've wanted to do this," he admitted between kisses, his voice filled with desire.

"Me too," you confessed, your heart pounding. "I've been waiting for this."

Minutes felt like hours as you continued to explore each other, the connection between you growing stronger with each passing second. Finally, you pulled back, both of you breathless and flushed, surprise and exhilaration in your eyes.

Hamzah whispered, his voice husky. "I didn't expect that."

"You’re so cute," you replied, smiling.

He nodded, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek. "Thank you."

For a moment, you just sat there, the intensity of what had just happened lingering in the air.

Hamzah cleared his throat, breaking the silence. “So, uh, about the video,” he started, a smile forming on his lips. “We should probably get back to it, right?”

You nodded, trying to steady your racing heart but feeling a giggle bubbling up. “Yeah, definitely. Can’t forget why we’re here.”

As you both sat up and reached for your laptops, the atmosphere between you felt lighter. You couldn’t help but glance at him every few seconds, each time catching his eye and bursting into laughter.

“So, what’s next on the list?” Hamzah asked, his voice filled with amusement.

You scrolled through the list of dares and challenges, trying to focus. “Let’s see… looks like we’re supposed to compare the room service menus next,” you said, stifling a giggle as you met his gaze again.

Hamzah chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Right, room service. Let’s see if this place has anything decent.”

As you both began browsing the hotel’s menu, the awkwardness started to fade, replaced by a comfortable, shared amusement. Every time your eyes met, you couldn’t help but smile, thinking about the kiss.

“Look at this,” Hamzah said, pointing to his screen. “They actually have a ‘budget burger.’ I wonder if it’s as sad as it sounds.”

You laughed, the sound light and genuine. “We have to try it. For the sake of the video, of course.”

“Of course,” he agreed, grinning. “Anything for the content.”

You both placed an order, deciding to film your reactions to the food as part of the video. As you waited for the delivery, the conversation flowed easily, punctuated by shared glances and quiet laughter.

“Do you think Martin and Mandy are actually doing any of the dares we sent them?” you asked, leaning back on your hands.

Hamzah laughed, shaking his head. “Knowing them, Martin is probably kicking his feet and giggling at whatever Mandy says to care about the dares. But who knows, maybe they’ll surprise us.”

You smiled, your eyes meeting his again. “I guess we’ll find out when I compare footage.”

There was a brief pause, the silence filled with unspoken thoughts. You could tell he was thinking about the kiss, just as you were. Finally, Hamzah broke the silence.

“You know,” he said softly, his eyes twinkling with mischief, “I think I’ll keep some of the footage.”

You giggled, feeling a warmth spread across your face. “Yeah, what part?”

He smiled, a shy but genuine smile that made your heart skip a beat, “I wonder.”

The moment lingered, the atmosphere was comfortable. The sound of a knock on the door broke the spell, and you both laughed, the tension easing as you got up to grab the food.

As you set up the camera and started filming your reactions to the room service, the shared glances and secret smiles continued.

Later that night, after the filming was done and you both had laughed your way through tasteless burgers and overcooked fries, you found yourselves sitting close together on the small bed, the camera off and the lights dim.

“Hamzah,” you began, your voice soft and tentative, “I’ve really enjoyed tonight.“

He turned to you, his eyes reflecting the same emotions you felt. “Me too. I mean, I always enjoy hanging out with you, but tonight was… different.”

You nodded, understanding exactly what he meant. “Maybe we could, you know, do something like this again. Just us.”

His smile widened, his eyes lighting up. “I’d like that. A lot.”

[feyhunter78]

Your Heart In My Chest (And Mine in Yours)

Description: Post rescue Travis and Natalie find one thing hasn’t changed. Cheesy as it sounds they still have each other’s hearts.

I wrote this at 1 AM last night. my brain wouldn’t let me sleep until I got it written down.

The settlement they get is more money than Natalie’s ever seen in her whole life, more money than anyone in her family has ever seen, more money than Travis has ever seen. Surprisingly, not more than his mother has seen. Turns out she used to work at some big bank before her marriage, before Travis and Javi, before she moved to their dead-end town. She sits them both down immediately, stressing the importance of them not taking this absurd amount of money and blowing it.

So, Natalie leaves Travis’s house with something she wasn’t sure she’d ever have, a savings account, with more than a hundred dollars in it. His mom advises—makes them really—split their settlements into thirds. One third in a savings account, one third in a checking account and the last third for spending, though it’s clear she hopes they don’t spend the whole third.

She’s always been frugal, had to be, and even though the desire is there to blow through all her money to buy anything she’s ever wanted, she can’t do it. She can’t swallow the lump of guilt in her throat each time she makes a purchase that would’ve left her and her family without utilities for months. So, she buys a cheap but reliable car, and Travis buys an engagement ring, not that she knows that until way later, she just thinks he bought a TV for his room.

She watches a lot of TV with him, she moves in with him, mostly because his mom hates having an empty house and Natalie feels like she’s going to be sick if Travis isn’t within eyesight at all times. Luckily, he feels the same, so she doesn’t need to be embarrassed, not that she could ever be embarrassed in front of him. He’s Travis, her best friend, the only one who knows her, who understands her, who loves her despite the fucked up mess she is.

She’s not fucked up, she’s traumatized, or at least that’s what her therapist says, but she’s working with a drop in the ocean of information. Though Natalie will admit it feels good to talk to someone, even if it’s just about how much not having access to a shower sucked.

Travis pulls her closer, the light of the TV flickering across his face. He’s holding her so tight as if afraid she’ll disappear, or someone will come and take her from him, it feels nice, safe, being loved, actually loved is nice. Nicer than alcohol or drugs or skipping class to go hangout in back alleys just doing nothing.

She shifts trying to get more comfortable, breathing in the scent of him, laundry detergent and pine. It’s comforting, Travis is comforting, ever since he placed her hand over his heart dedicated it to her, he’s been her comfort, she only hopes she’s the same for him.

“You good?” He asks, his voice low and raspy from disuse.

“Yeah, yeah, just thinking.” She says, settling her head on his chest.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asks carefully. He’s been seeing his own therapist, and it seems like they talk more about his dad than the crash, but she doesn’t judge. She’s just grateful he’s willing to let her in, especially when she finds it so hard to return the favor.

“I just…like you, a lot.” She confesses, feeling her cheeks burn at the kindergarten level confession. Travis knows she loves him; she’s said it a few times in the wilderness and a few times here, but it feels different to say it here. Here where she’s tucked up against him in clothes that aren’t someone else’s and smell of smoke, here where they’re not worried about winter coming, or someone else dying. Here back among the rest of the world where everything is the same, but they’re so different and nobody but them understands.

“Oh, shit really?” He asks, humor lacing his tone.

“Shut up.” She rolls her eyes and pushes herself up, but he pulls her back down, their noses almost touching, his warm brown eyes drinking her in, some shitty sitcom playing in the background.

“Nah, you like me.” He drags the words out, making her laugh.

“Yeah, I’m sure you knew that already, I did rock your world a couple of times out there.” She says, trying to keep her words light, all the while being distracted by the way he smiles, how it brightens his whole face and makes her heart do a stupid childish flip in her chest.

“And in here.” He adds with wriggling brows.

“Shut up, you’re such a dork.” She laughs, refusing to meet his gaze, looking at his nose instead, eyes drifting down to his lips.

“Yeah, but you’re into it.” He counters with an annoying amount of confidence.

“Maybe.” She shrugs, ghosting her lips over his own.

“Definitely.” He says, hand snaking around to the back of her head, closing the distance between them.

His lips are soft, and warm, he tastes like the minty toothpaste his mom always buys, and he whispers her name against her lips with such gentleness it almost makes her cry.

“I love you.” She says, keeping her eyes closed, caressing the curves of his cheeks with her thumbs.

“I love you too.” He tells her, his other hand on her mid-back never straying lower unless she gives him the go ahead.

“Ooo, you like me.” She teases, eyes snapping open, watching as his face reddens.

“Nat, you literally just—”

She cuts him off with another kiss, smiling when she feels his fingers flexing on her back, restraining himself. She can practically taste his longing, or maybe it’s her own, sometimes she can’t tell the difference, can’t tell where she ends, and he begins.

“Just keep kissing me, that’s what I wanted to say.” He says smiling cheekily, a little breathless, his pupils blown wide, inky blackness consuming the warm brown until there’s nothing left but a thin ring.

“Is your mom home?” She asks, already sitting up and shedding her shirt.

He glances at his alarm clock, following her lead. “No, and she won’t be home for a few more hours.”

She smiles at him, mischievous and happy, yeah, she thinks this is her feeling happy, or at least the closest she’s going to get for a while.

He sits up, and smoothes his hands down her arms, sliding her bra straps down as he does. “You’re so beautiful.”

“So are you.” She takes his hand and places it over her heart, hoping he can’t feel how fast it’s beating, how much she means it when she says she loves him.

Love has always been difficult, painful, unless it was with her friends—her team she's undecided on—but with him, it’s…still painful, the venom in his voice when he declared her a mistake. The look on his face when she returned but Javi didn’t, the sharp cut she felt when he voted against her during Coach’s trial, but it doesn’t stay that way. Not like it did with her dad, her sister, her mom, those losers she had flings with. No because for every wound he inflicts he soothes them tenfold.

His eyes widen, but he says nothing, just let's there be a silent recognition of what she’s offering, though he’s had it all along whether he knew it or not.

She leaves his hand there and places her own on his bicep, ignoring the thrill that runs through her when she realizes there’s more muscle there than before. He’s gotten stronger slowly, she knew that. He’s been getting enough to eat, enough to drink, and the fact that Akilah’s brother Andre has been coming around and dragging him to the gym as some sort of male bonding, punch out your feelings type things probably doesn’t hurt. She didn’t even know they were friends before the crash, but she’s glad he has someone normal to talk to. She has Kevyn sort of, but she hasn’t been able to force herself to really interact with him, but she knows he understands, he knows her, and he won’t take offense.

Travis slides his hand around her back, undoing her bra, looking at her like she’s some goddess. It’s intoxicating and frightening, she bites the inside of her cheek, letting him slip her bra off and toss it aside.

“Damn, I thought you’d like that one, guess that was a waste of fifty bucks.” She says, trying to joke, to be Nat he remembers, tough and snarky and confident.

You don’t have to talk like that. He’d said it so quickly back then, clocked her so quickly even through his nerves, and it’d hurt like a bitch. She’d just wanted it to be good for him, just did what she normally did, said what the others before him wanted to hear, but she’d fucked up.

Was she fucking up now?

His hands are on her ribs now, fingers splayed, his eyes warm, always so warm even in his anger, meeting her own, a smile toying at his lips. “You paid fifty bucks for that?”

Okay, she’s okay, she didn’t fuck up.

“Bras are expensive.” She shrugs, the freshly cut ends of her hair tickling her skin. Travis’ mom took her to some salon last week, where the ladies fussed over her and her hair, getting it to a far better blonde than she’d ever been able to achieve with box dye in the bathroom at home.

He wraps a lock of her hair around his finger, watching how it catches the light, before releasing it. “I like it.”

Her free hand is on his shoulder, stabilizing herself, and he’s still looking at her like that, like she’s perfect. Then he moves, pulls her closer, crashing his lips to hers, and she melts into him, letting him fumble with her shorts, then his own until they’re both bare, the AC making goosebumps appear on her skin. He always touches her like he’s afraid she’ll disappear, and she probably does the same. It’s all endlessly moving hands, endless pulls closer, tight grips and skin sticking together because they can’t bear to be apart.

He pants into her mouth, moans her name, and she digs her nails into his shoulders, his back, bites his lip and his neck. He bites back, his hands grip his hips, her waist, her breasts, her thighs, anywhere they can reach as she rides him. Her thighs are strong, her knees, she has strong legs always has and trekking through the wilderness for over a year hadn’t changed that, especially now that she gets three square meals a day. She kisses him hungrily, gets high on the sounds of his whimpers and whines, the way his hips buck up into hers.

He’s strong too, and when his hands return to her hips, he sets the pace, and it’s her turn to gasp and cling to him, his name falling over and over again from her lips until he kisses her again and swallows the sound. Their tongues and teeth clash, she can taste blood, she must’ve bitten his lip too hard, or maybe he bit hers too hard, it doesn’t really matter either way to her.

It's all a rush, a haze, sounds, and sights and her blood rushing beneath his skin, her brain shutting out anything that isn’t directly related to him. He feels good, he makes her feel good, he makes her feel alive and wanted. She buries her face in the crook of his neck, wrapping her arms around him, both deliriously happy and unexplainably frightened.

“N-Nat, fuck Nat, hol—hold on, let me see you.” He stutters out, his voice strained, concern and need warring in his tone.

She raises her head, biting her lip, shifting her hips the way he likes to try and derail his train of thought. It works for a second, his head falling back as he groans low in his chest, the sound, the look making her toes curl, and her head go fuzzy.

But then he’s back, fighting through the rush to cup her cheeks and force her to look at him, thumb brushing against her bottom lip, pulling it free from her teeth. “There we go, there’s my girl.” It’s said with such a husk, a raspy velvet tone that conveys such warmth and care, that she can’t help but shiver.

His girl, his partner, his fellow hunter, his best friend, she’s so many things to him and he to her, she loves him, he’s hers, hers, when nothing and no one else was.

“Here I am, your girl.” She agrees, trying to memorize the details of his face, the softness of his expression.

He takes her hand and places it on his chest, over his heart. “And here I am, still here, still yours.”

“Still mine.” She echoes, holding onto him tighter. The light from the TV is orange, like firelight, like the light she carried to Coach Ben, the light she held when Travis told her he’d keep watch, when he showed he was still on her side.

“Still yours, Nat, always.” He promises, pressing her hand firmer against his chest.

She nods, banishing the memory, focusing on the feel of him, the realness of them here together in his room. When she finishes, stars flashing behind her eyelids, her chest heaving, her sweat, and his mingling as she collapses on the bed next to him, she brings his hand back to her heart. “Yours Travis, always.”

These two have me in a chokehold. Also I kept Akilah alive bc I love her

[beseeingyouinmydreams]

If I see one more person say Kate & Maya have no blame in this I might scream.

He went to rehab and got out last year sober. She continued to drink around him, go party (spend his money and seek attn every chance she got) tell me how a recovering addict fresh out of rehab is going to resist temptation when the gf is CONSTANTLY DRINKING.

I’m sorry but your partner who you love sooooo much is fresh out of rehab has severe addiction issues tried AGAIN to do rehab( sadly at that point I think he was so far gone, he checked out after two days) and she STILLLLLLL didn’t change up behaviour. Still kept alcohol around still stayed with him, before he got REALLY bad. Then left him in a foreign country with Fckn Roger who clearly had no issues with Liams addictions until he abandoned him drug induced in a (shady)hotel room without alerting authorities. But she left him there knowing the label and management had recently dropped him knowing he clearly was still not ok. I DONT CARE that he was a grown man and made his own decisions. He clearly wasn’t capable of that.

Maya has every hand in this damn situation. She threw the man off a cliff into a pack of fckn rabid wolves ( the Internet) when she reopened the publicity and hate train over her dumb ass book. Nothing anyone says will change my mind on her part in this. Man had lost management and label and she dragged up publicity over a book that had died. Shr wanted him to leave her alone THE MAN WAS SCREAMING FOR HELP. & she couldn’t keep his name out of her mouth. She wanted attn. she had her space to talk about her issues. She did that when it dropped then brought it all back up and brought One D into the mix…. After knowing what one d fans and the internet had done to Liam after fully knowing his mental health and addictions while knowing he wasn’t ok. Girlie straight pushed every button she needed. And when we go back further she’s no better than Kate in terms of alcohol and drugs. Enabled him constantly drinking with and around him, constantly needing to party and get attn. and I’ve seen more than a few times she’s had drug problems as well. But she’s so innocent.

I am utterly sick of people saying he did this himself he chose his actions. NO his past and traumas and the issues and actions of those around him for the last few years did this. He wouldn’t have been in that state had the above not been an issue. Had the people in his every day immediate life for the last so many years been better fckn people and actually cared. His problems didn’t start the day he passed. He in truth had been LONG gone for quite a few months. The fact he was able to get that far gone that soon after rehab, last year is so messed up. He wasn’t alone in this he had “supportive” people every day Roger and Kate his team …. He came out of rehab clean and wanting a fresh start. The people in his life FAILED HIM. His family knowing and trying to help they didn’t live with him to see his every day. They knew and tried to help but when those in youre daily life are failing and enabling you and he was as gone as he’d been for months……

This was all preventable in every single way. I’ll never stop saying it. It was utterly senseless. I’m so angry more than any other emotion. And as heart broken as I am. In some way I’m glad he’s gone. I don’t know that things could’ve gotten any worse than what’s come out but I do know at least now the leeches and fame sucking people he had around him daily can all go to hell and can’t abuse and use him. No one can hurt him anymore. Man’s at peace and that’s more than they’ll ever be.

[kikimurphys]

Behind Closed Doors (Part 17)

Pairing: Cillian x Y/N

You choked on your water when you heard her name. "Fuck," you thought, panic seeping in. You were about to meet Cillian's sister—right now. Anxiety washed over you as your mind raced. What if she thought you were just a gold digger after her brother's money? Meeting Cillian's family had always been one of your biggest worries.

Orla stood at the door, waiting for Cillian to greet her, but he seemed to freeze in place.

"What's wrong, Cill?" she asked, noticing his odd reaction.

"Nothing, sorry. Hi, Orla. How are ya?" He quickly recovered, giving her a kiss on the cheek and closing the door behind her.

She carried a few boxes and bags as she made her way to the kitchen. "I'm just passing by to drop this off," she said, placing them on the counter nearest to the kitchen door. "And I bought this set of curtains for Mum and Da, but I don't know if they—" She suddenly noticed you sitting at the kitchen counter and paused, recognition dawning on her face. "Oh, hi," she greeted you with a warm smile as she walked over.

"Orla, this is Y/N. She’s on bed rest, so she's staying with me," Cillian explained, his tone firm, making it clear that you were important to him.

"Why? Are you okay?" Orla asked, concern lacing her voice as she leaned on the table. Her sweet demeanor and well-mannered approach immediately put you at ease. You could tell she was genuinely kind, much like Cillian.

"Yeah, I was hospitalized last week," you began, placing a hand on your belly. "I had some bleeding, but we're okay now. I just have to move as little as possible."

Orla’s eyes softened as she looked at you. "Oh, I’m so sorry. Glad you're well now. Bed rest’s the worst, especially when you get that insane need to nest in the third trimester. Those urges are no joke," she said, raising her hands for emphasis, making you laugh at her playful tone.

There was a brief, awkward silence as the three of you stood in the kitchen, unsure of what to say next. 

“Well," Orla finally broke the silence, patting the boxes she had dropped off. "I was just passing by to leave these. Don’t forget to take them to Cork,” she said, gesturing to the boxes, before handing Cillian the curtains. “And here, what do you think of these? Do you think Mum and Da will like them?” she asked, her expression a little more serious now.

"They're okay, I suppose," Cillian replied with a shrug, clearly not too fussed about curtain shopping. Orla rolled her eyes at his lackluster response, amused by her brother’s indifference.

"Alright, I’m headed off," Orla said, reaching for her coat.

"We were just about to have dinner, if you want to join," Cillian offered, sensing that this could be a good opportunity for you to spend more time with her. "I'm making chicken curry."

"You know what, Cill?" Orla smiled as she settled beside you, pouring herself a glass of wine. "I could go for some of that chicken you make."

As she took a sip of her drink, she turned to you with a curious smile. “So, how far along are you?”

“Almost 22 weeks,” you replied, feeling a bit more comfortable now.

“Ah, halfway already! Do you know what you’re having?” she asked, excitement lighting up her face.

“A girl,” Cillian chimed in from the stove, turning to you both with a proud smile.

“Oh, they’re the best! I had my Nina last year, and it’s so different than having boys,” Orla said warmly.

“How’s baby Nina?” Cillian asked, his eyes softening at the mention of his niece, who was nearly 10 months old.

“She’s exhausting,” Orla sighed dramatically, making both you and Cillian laugh. “She just learned how to get off the bed, and now I can’t close my eyes for a second without her disappearing.”

The evening flowed pleasantly after that. Orla shared stories and showed you pictures of her baby, and you got a glimpse of just how close she and Cillian were. His gentle care for his sister warmed your heart, and the easy dynamic between them made you feel more at ease.

After dinner, fatigue began to weigh on you, and Cillian noticed immediately. He offered to prepare the guest room for you, knowing that it hadn’t been decorated or lived in yet. You thanked him as he left to make the bed, his attentiveness leaving you feeling cared for.

Once Cillian was out of earshot, Orla leaned in closer with a playful, curious smile. “So, how’s my brother been treating you?” she whispered, her tone filled with interest.

You smiled softly. “He’s been very attentive and has helped me so much. He’s a good guy,” you said, genuinely grateful for Cillian’s care.

Orla raised an eyebrow slightly. “And are you two not together then?” she asked, her eyes flicking to the separate room where you'd be sleeping. “I don’t want to be invasive, but Cillian mentioned the situation…”

“No, it’s okay,” you reassured her, appreciating her honesty. “To be honest, I don’t really know,” you added with a small laugh. “We’re taking it slow... just taking our time.”

Orla nodded, understanding. “That makes sense,” she said gently.

“I’m just staying here so he can take care of me if anything happens until my sister arrives. I don’t want to take up too much of his time,” you explained, feeling the need to be transparent.

Orla gave you a knowing look and smiled. “You don’t have to worry about that. Cillian wouldn’t offer if he didn’t want to be there for you. He’s always been a bit of a caretaker, especially for those he cares about.”

Orla’s smile softened as she leaned back slightly, swirling the wine in her glass. “You know,” she began thoughtfully, “even if you two don’t end up together, that baby girl of yours... she’s still part of this family.” Her eyes flickered warmly toward your belly. “And we’ll love her no matter what.”

You blinked, a wave of emotion rushing through you at her words. It was the first time someone from Cillian’s family had said anything about the baby, and hearing that acceptance brought a sense of relief. 

“She’s going to be surrounded by love,” Orla continued, her tone filled with sincerity. “You, Cillian, and the rest of us. Family isn’t always about how things start, but about how you come together in the end. And believe me, we’re here for both of you, no matter what happens between you and my brother.”

Her reassurance eased a knot in your chest that you didn’t realize had been building. “Thank you,” you said quietly, feeling a surge of gratitude. “I’ve been so worried about what people would think... that maybe they’d see me as some sort of... I don’t know.”

Orla waved a hand dismissively. “People will always have something to say. But those who matter—the people in this family—we’ll always have your back. And that little girl... she’s going to have an army of people loving her.”

Hearing that made you feel more welcome than you had expected. “I really appreciate that,” you said, your voice soft but sincere. “It means a lot.”

Orla smiled again, this time with a glint of amusement in her eyes. “Plus, you’re stuck with me now—an honorary sister. We’ll spoil her rotten, you just wait.”

You felt a warmth spread through your chest at her words. All you wanted in the world was for your baby to be happy and grow up in a loving environment.

Just then, you heard Cillian’s footsteps coming down the hall. “What were you two talking about?” he asked, his brow raised slightly as he entered the kitchen.

“Oh, nothing much, just talking behind your back,” Orla teased, shooting her brother a playful grin. Cillian rolled his eyes, used to her antics.

“The bedroom’s all ready for you,” he told you softly. You nodded, feeling your eyelids growing heavier as the night wore on. "Thanks, Cill."

Orla stood up, gathering her things. “Well, I better head off. Gotta tuck the kids in.” She smiled, giving you a quick hug. “Don’t forget to rest, okay?”

“Of course,” you smiled back, sipping the last of your tea.

Orla turned to Cillian, reminding him once again about the package for Cork. “Don’t forget! You’re as forgetful as ever,” she teased.

“What’s that for?” you asked, glancing at the large box she’d mentioned earlier.

“Cutlery and plates for our parents’ anniversary in March,” she replied. “Their 50th. We’re planning it way ahead.”

“You should bring Y/N,” Orla repeated, looking between you and Cillian. “It’ll be the perfect chance for her to meet everyone at once.”

Cillian’s eyes widened, and he shot you a quick, slightly panicked glance. You could feel anxiety bubbling up in your chest, a knot tightening in your stomach. "Oh no, don't worry about me. I wouldn’t want to intrude,” you blurted out, your voice a bit shaky. Your palms were suddenly sweaty. What would his family even think? You were already pregnant and hadn't met them. What if they judged you? You weren't even sure where you stood with Cillian—how would you explain this to them?

Orla quickly picked up on the tension, her smile softening as she placed a reassuring hand on your arm. “Honestly, don’t stress about it,” she said warmly, sensing your worry. “There’s plenty of time to decide, no pressure. Just something to keep in mind.” She gave you a comforting smile before turning to Cillian, pulling him into a hug as she said her goodbyes.

Cillian moved to the sink to wash up as you quietly made your way to bed. While he scrubbed the dishes, your mind raced. *Would he really want you to meet his family?* You still felt insecure, unsure of your place in his life. Despite all his efforts to show he cared, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you didn’t belong, especially with the baby on the way. He already had a family, a whole life. Sometimes, you felt like an outsider. Or worse, like you were intruding on something that wasn’t meant to be yours.

Meanwhile, Cillian’s thoughts were completely different. As he washed up, the idea of you meeting his family filled him with joy. He could picture you with your baby, surrounded by nephews and cousins, fitting right into the warm, lively chaos that he loved so much. You’d bring a new light into his world, one that had dimmed over the years. You’d made him feel alive again. But he didn’t want to push you. He’d let the idea sit for now, give you time to decide. 

Later, lying in bed, you rubbed belly butter over your growing bump, your mind drifting. The realization that your body would never be the same hit you hard. You wouldn’t say it out loud, but you were terrified. The stretch marks, the weight gain—it all scared you more than you let on.

Cillian, meanwhile, was fussing over the curtains, trying to make the room feel cozier. The space had been bare when you first arrived, just a bed and a mattress. He’d worked tirelessly to make sure you were comfortable, and now he was determined to block out the morning sun.

“Cill, it’s okay,” you laughed softly, watching him work. “I can do that tomorrow. You’ve got work in the morning.”

He shook his head stubbornly, finishing up with the curtains. “No, I don’t want you waking up with the sun in your face at 7 a.m.,” he replied, focused on getting it right.

You grinned, amused by his overprotectiveness. It was a little over the top, but sweet. You felt lucky that he was going to be the father of your child. Once he finished, he stood back, hands on his hips, looking at you with a smitten expression. Seeing you lying there, belly growing with his child, no makeup, just real and vulnerable—it melted his heart.

“All done,” he sighed, dusting off his hands.

“Thanks,” you said, your voice softer now. “Do you have to leave early for work?”

“Yeah, but I should be back by lunchtime,” he replied.

“Well, I’ll let you sleep then,” he said, turning to leave, but something made you stop him.

“Cill?” you called softly. He turned back to you, walking closer.

“Yeah?” he asked gently.

“Thank you,” you said, reaching for his hand, your voice filled with sincerity. “For letting me stay here, for being so good to me. And Orla, too. I was really scared to meet her, but she was so nice. I’m really grateful.”

He smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple. “You don’t have to thank me for any of that,” he murmured. “Goodnight.”

Your heart fluttered at the softness of his touch, and almost as if in response, the baby kicked. She always seemed to know when you were nervous around him. “Goodnight,” you whispered, rolling over and closing your eyes. The sound of Cillian moving around the house was oddly soothing, and before long, you drifted into sleep.

Cillian went to his room and changed into his pajamas, but after tossing and turning for almost an hour, he gave up on trying to sleep. He padded softly into the living room, careful not to wake you. Opening your door just a crack, he peeked in. You were fast asleep, soft snores escaping your lips, and he couldn’t help but smile. 

He closed the door gently, grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen, and settled on the couch. Turning the TV on with the volume barely audible, he let the low hum of some sitcom wash over him, hoping it would help him fall asleep.

tags:

@mamawiggers1980 @xsweetcatastrophe @galactict3a @thistheivyseason @cillianmurphyvevo @sweetcheesecakesblog

[4urvalidation]

A CASE OF LIMERENCE | Chapter Six

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

A/N: A sort of short and filler-ish chapter before the real events start unraveling

“Hey.” 

“Hi angel.” With a worried smile, Leni watches Sarah prop her phone on something and rummaging in the space around her. She has her hair neatly wrapped in a towel; the bags under her eyes visible even from a mile away. “Whatcha doin’?” 

She flashes her a tub of sunscreen, “Skin care. It’s the only thing I can do without losing my mind.” Leni nods somberly, and watches her best friend apply a large chunk of cream all over her tired, but pretty face.

“Sar, you should really get some sleep.”

“I know. It’s just… it’s this place…”

“What place?” And that’s when it hits her. There was a reason why she thought the back of Sarah’s room looked so strange and yet familiar. Sarah’s back in her childhood bedroom. In Tannyhill. 

“Home.” She sighs, picking up her phone and giving Leni a small tour of the room they used to spend countless summer days in. On the bed, comfortably tucked under a pristinely white  duvet lies a very much asleep John B. When Sarah comes closer he stirs a little and that’s when the snoring begins. 

“Are you sure your childhood home is the reason why you can’t fall asleep right now?” 

Sarah snorts, her frown finally replaced with a wide grin. “If only.” With that, she moves their conversation to the large dining area downstairs. “To be honest, I do kinda miss it, but at the same time, I really don’t like being here.” 

“Maybe you just need time.” 

“Maybe.” Sarah bites the inside of her cheek, gaze stuck somewhere in the far distance. “Leni, he still owes people money.”

“Rafe?” His name comes out in the form of a croak. 

“Yes. That’s why he was in the hospital. Someone jumped him last night. He was out running and apparently this guy just attacked him right out of nowhere. Bashed his head with a rock… started kicking him… Leni… he could’ve died.” 

Leni opens her mouth to speak but no words come out. She’s been rendered completely speechless. Not only that, she also happens to feel the slightest bit of guilt, but not for what she did. That’s all Rafe’s fault and she feels zero remorse about it. Okay, maybe not zero; a part of Leni does feel kinda bad about the way things transpired in the end. Especially the part where she helplessly watches her best friend in the entire world lose sleep because her brother told some bullshit story. 

All because he wanted to protect Leni. 

Just like wanted to protect Wade all those years ago and suddenly, her guilt isn’t completely unjustified. 

She swallows. 

“Is he… is Rafe gonna be okay?” 

“Yeah. He only got a concussion so the doctor said he’s gonna be fine by tomorrow. He just needs to sleep it off.” A wave of relief washes Leni the second she hears Sarah say that. “And what about you? (“Me?”) A little birdie told me you and JJ were texting the whole night.” A mischievous grin spreads across Sarah’s entire face and fuck - Leni completely forgot to reply to his message!  

He’s probably sat at home thinking he crossed a line or something and that now she’s ghosting him. 

“Yeah, we were and then he sent me this text about how my pizza needs meat and I couldn’t figure out whether he was being flirty or just making a dumb joke so, I kinda ignored him for a second and went to cool my head off on Instagram and-” The image of Simon’s story flashes before her eyes. She should’ve blocked him when she had a chance; so many things would’ve been easier (or better said avoided) if she had done that. 

“And?” 

“Simon has a new girlfriend.”

“WHAT!?” Sarah’s face goes pale with shock. “But it’s barely been a month!” Leni nods, her eyes now slowly beginning to fill with tears. “You should’ve reposted JJ’s story on your main. Actually! -  you should post a photo of JJ like immediately! That’ll teach him.” 

“You’re right but… I don’t want JJ to think I’m using him to get back to my ex or something..” 

“Why would he think that? Don’t you like him?”

“I do! It’s just… I don’t think I’m ready to do anything with anyone just yet.” 

“I get it. Wound’s still sore.” Leni nods again. “You know what we should do? We should find the guy that jumped Rafe and hire him to do the same to your ex. Maybe that’ll teach him a lesson.”

When Leni arrives at The Wreck, Cleo is already there: sat on their table in the back while Kiara is running around, her hands busy with a tray full of orders. “Jesus what happened to you?” It was a question Leni expected to be hearing until the deep purple bruises slowly faded into a nasty yellow and then hopefully altogether. 

She smiles sheepishly as if what she’s about to say it’s truly mortifying and embarrassing and in hindsight - it is. “Long story.” A sigh escapes her lips in such a perfect way, you’d think she’s out here gunning for an Oscar. 

“I’m curious. Make it short.”

“Last night I found out my ex has a new girlfriend so I went for a run to clear my head but forgot to tie my shoelaces so I stepped on one and tripped and fell.” 

Kie’s face scrunches into a grimace. “Well that’s embarrassing.”

“Yeah.”

“But hey - at least you didn’t get jumped by your ex- dealer.” 

“My ex what?”

“You ex-dealer. Well, in this case Rafe’s ex-dealer. Who jumped him. Cause he owed money.”  Kie says smiling. The people she’s giving out their order to, don’t seem as entertained though. “Enjoy your meal.” She says sweetly before turning back to Leni, “Oh, by the way - Sarah said you’re looking for a job?” 

Leni blinks, “Uh, yeah.” 

“Come work for us. You’ll get so many free meals plus we’ll get to hang out like -  all the time.” In that moment she realizes just how hard it is to say no to Kiara. Especially when she’s smiling like that and even though working at a seafood restaurant wasn’t the fun summer job Leni had exactly in mind, it’s still a job and she could really use the money. 

“Yeah. Sure.” 

A squeal leaves Kie’s throat as she jumps, pulling Leni into a tight hug. “Awesome. I’ll go tell my parents! You have no idea how many brownie points you’ll be getting me by doing this Leni! I owe you!” 

With an equally huge grin Leni watches Kiara disappear behind the counter before finally joining Cleo. “Kie roped you into working for her parents?” It’s the first thing she says after their hug, forcing Leni to furrow her brows. “Don’t give me that face. It’s a good thing. I’m only saying it because she’s basically asked everybody and you’re the only one that said yes. Well - that’s not true. JJ agreed, but her parents hated the idea.” 

“Why?”

“Cause they don’t like him. I’m pretty sure they’ve always felt that way. I mean - why else would Kie be dating Pope instead of him?” Cleo’s eyes suddenly grow as large as saucers. “Shit. Pretend I didn’t just say that.”

“Say what?” An amused smile begins spreading in the corners of Leni’s lips all while Cleo actively avoids direct eye contact. 

“Just… are you thirsty? Let’s order something.” 

“Cleo. Look at me.” Cleo refuses to look at her despite the gentle tone in Leni’s voice. She’s too busy perusing the drinks menu. “I’m not gonna say anything. But I do want to know if there’s something going on between JJ and Kie.” 

“Nothing’s going on between JJ and Kie. She’s with Pope and JJ and I are part of the No-Love Club. The end.” 

“What the fuck is the No-Love Club?” 

With an earth shattering sigh, Cleo finally stops hiding behind the menu and faces her. “It’s this stupid thing Pope came up with when Sarah and John B broke up for a hot minute. The friend group got totally disrupted and one night he was like: ‘Swear no more inner dating! If you wanna hook up do it outside!’ and we were all drunk and sad and just agreed with his bullshit idea.” 

Leni blinks.

“So, wait… Pope and Kie are no longer part of the club?” 

“No they are. They just bend some rules.” 

“And each other.” 

Cleo grimaces. “Don’t put pictures in my brain.” 

“But why are they allowed to do the inner dating thing, but not … I’m confused.” 

“Me too Leni. Me fucking too.” It’s what she says, but the answer is right there - all over Cleo’s forced smile.

Rafe still hasn’t replied to her text. 

Obviously, this is something that shouldn’t concern Leni one bit and yet, there she is - obsessively checking her phone every ten minutes or so. Cleo and Kiara have been aware of this, after all it was one of the many reasons why she totally blanked out not on one, but two of their conversations and missed out on very important information regarding last night’s get together. 

JJ on the other hand, wasn’t so subtle. Not only did he make things incredibly awkward by refusing her hug with a fistbump, he also made sure to embarrass her by loudly asking whether she was expecting a text from her boyfriend. 

“Stop being an insecure dick!” She overhears Kie saying to him through gritted teeth - amongst other, unintelligible things - before skipping away with Pope for a lovely sunset swim. 

“Hey.” JJ plops right beside Leni. His voice is so quiet it almost sounds like a whisper. “Sorry for being a dick.” Their gazes meet. 

Next to her, Cleo shuffles. “And that’s my queue to leave.” 

The air between her and JJ is charged, but nothing like the kind she’s felt with others. With the corner of her eye, Leni watches him play around the sand with a stick; his long hair covering half of his face and suddenly she is hit by the strangest of sensations: she wants to run her hands through his hair. She wants to push it back; see just how far it’ll go and gaze into those blue eyes in the same way she used to gaze into Rafe’s last night. 

Rafe. 

Her heart skips a beat at the thought of his name and it takes all the power in the world not to reach for her phone and check whether he’s finally replied.

“I was gonna text you back, y’know. It’s just…” She awkwardly gestures at her bruised legs and sloppily places bandaids. “This happened.” 

JJ takes her hands into his own, carefully inspecting the torn skin on the inside of her palms before intertwining their fingers. “I didn’t take you for a clumsy girl.” He says, making her laugh and he squeezes her hand a little before letting go of it entirely. “It’s cute.” 

Their eyes meet and his are so… clear. Like the ocean on a beautiful sunny day; its color an enviable light blue and making Leni want to plunge in it without any hesitations. In a matter of seconds she can picture certain moments of her life with him; the early morning trips to the beach, lazy kisses that taste like warm beer and weed; the smell of sandalwood lingering on her skin and salt in her hair. 

It’s the perfect summer romance. 

The kind she’s dreamt of since she was a little girl and yet-

“Did you miss us?” John B’s voice cuts her daydream in half and Leni can’t help but think it’s for the better. Kie and Pope come out of the ocean and Cleo joins in soon after - her palms full of pretty shells. 

They huddle together by the growing fire: shoulders touching and legs covered in sand. Beer bottles start being opened and Kie has the summer nights playlist softly playing from one of the portable speakers Sarah took from Tannyhill and everything is just like it’s supposed to be except there she is again: thinking about Rafe. 

Why hasn’t he texted her yet? 

She looks over to Sarah, as if she could be the one capable of providing Leni with this answer and even though she might be, she still remains the last person Leni would ever ask about Rafe. And that’s when she notices; the distant look in her best friend’s gaze, the very same she would be a witness of every now and then and Sarah doesn’t have to say anything. All it takes is for the two to lock eyes and in a matter of seconds, they find themselves standing. 

“We’re… we have to pee.” Leni says sheepishly before reaching for Sarah’s hand and moving far far away from the others.  “Sar… talk to me.” She says as soon as they’re out of earshot and that single question is all it takes for her best friend to have a complete and total meltdown. “What’s going on?“

“I can’t do this… I can’t sit around and pretend I’m fine when my brother was in the hospital and no one seems to care! Like - they were literally making jokes about it! Saying he deserves it…” Well, he did kinda deserve it, but Leni would never ever admit this to Sarah or worse - tell her she is the reason why her brother got concussed in the first place. Although she does have the sneaky feeling that Sarah might end up siding with her once she finds out why Rafe got knocked by a rock in the first place.  “I know he’s a piece of shit, but he’s still my brother…” 

Nodding, Leni pulls her into a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles all over her back, “I know… I know…” 

“Wanna know the most fucked up thing? His ex was his emergency contact.” Sofia. The sole mention of her name makes Leni’s heart skip a beat and she hopes to god, Sarah wasn’t able to feel it. “If she didn’t have my number, I probably wouldn’t even have known he’s in the hospital. Like - you should’ve seen him Leni… He was so bloody.” 

There it is again - the twinge of guilt that has absolutely no business being there. It eats away at Leni; the same way anxiety and all those other piled up regrets do in the darkest hours of the night. 

“I thought he had relapsed. When they called me last night - I thought he had relapsed or, or overdosed or both and I just… he’s the only family I have left. With Wheezie and Rose off to god knows where, Rafe is all I have left...” Sarah pulls away, her pretty face wet with tears. “You won’t judge me if I try to fix things with him, right?”

As long as you don’t judge me for not being able to stop thinking about him.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

[jazzmynerule]

first valentine’s

prompt: stiles wanted nothing more than to make the perfect gift for y/n’s first valentines with him but he doesn’t have enough money to get her what she deserves so he takes it upon himself to make her a bouquet of lego flowers

warnings: mild amounts of swearing but other than that it’s pure fluff

by the way this is in stiles’ pov

…………………………………….

“scott i don’t know what to get her honestly she’s deserves a bunch of diamonds and rubies not a hunk of junk life of chocolate and halfway dead flowers” i scoffed as scott and i walked towards our lockers

“stiles it’s y/n she’s gonna love anything you give to her”

he’s got a point i mean for her birthday i made a lousy ass card with a bunch of poems and she put it in a frame and hung it on her wall there’s nothing you can’t give this girl that she won’t absolutely adore

“omg you just gave me the perfect idea scott, have i ever told you you’re my best friend and i love you? because i really love you” i smooched his cheek and ran outside to my car driving straight home

after around about 4-5 hours i sat on my bed trying to create little lego bouquets when dad walked in my room

“what in the hell are you doing kid?” he asked leaning against my door frame

“trying to make the perfect valentines gift for y/n” i answered without looking up from my project

“you’re in head over your heels boy” he laughed closing my door and walking back down stairs

“yeah clearly” i smiled continuing on with my disaster of a present

-2 hours later-

i was still sat on my bed finishing my present when a i heard a knock on the door

“stiles it’s me! open up!” y/n yelled knocking on my door repeatedly

“shit shit shit shit” i whispered trying to cover up my present

“stiles i’ve got your present! can you open up please” she continued

“coming love” i said as i opened my bedroom door

she stood there with a big box in her hands wrapped in red wrapping paper and finished with a red bow on the top

“baby what in the hell did you get me” i groaned now knowing my present was gonna look like utter garbage next to the one she got me

“shut the fuck up and open it!” she squealed handing me the present

i took the present from her and sat down on my desk chair

carefully i unwrapped the first and immediately jumped up and kissed her beautiful face

“the whole star wars universe in one box? baby i fucking love you!” i said in between kisses

“stiles!” she giggled

“okay don’t judge what i got you please i don’t have enough money to get you the things you deserve but i did spend hours trying to make this perfect for you” i sighed pulling back my blankets and revealing my massive bouquet of lego flowers

“omg stiles”

i look up at her seeing her eyes go wide with admiration

“it’s a representation of our love, when these die so will our love.. which would be never because they are made of legos so we’ll last fore-“ before i could even finish my sentence she’s pulled me into the biggest bear hug

“you’re literally the cutest human being i’ve ever met i am so lucky” she smiled kissing my cheek

“happy valentine’s day my beautiful girl i love you always” i smiled back at her kissing her forehead ever so gently

“happy valentines sti” she hummed

….

i hate how badly i want this kind of relationship ;-;

[lightlycareless]

Au where y/n takes her daughter to go see the barbie movie 🥺🥺🥺

Heya anon!

I'm sorry I took a while to respond, but I never forgot about this ask!

I gotta say, I was happy when I got it; I was in the middle of a trip I didn't enjoy very much, so it gave me something to look forward to when I got back home! So thank you so much for this and your patience!! 🥺❤️❤️❤️

As always, here is thy chapter warnings: pure fluff, a bit of... innuendos but like slightly, almost invisible, it's Y/N and Naoya being gross with one another, like a true couple lol. And some of the topics that the Barbie movie talks about.

Without any further ado, happy reading!

It took me a while to decide whether Y/N would take her daughter to watch the Barbie movie or not, considering its PG-13 (I’m going with the idea that she’s not a teenager yet, maybe around 7-8?) and it has some topics that someone that young might not understand or become frightened by them you know? At least that’s what I thought when trying to put myself in the situation if I had a kid that would want to see the movie.

But after going through that dilemma, I’ve finally decided that Y/N would definitely take her daughter to see it, but only once she checked some things first of course!!

Let’s set a bit of context first.

I’m assuming you must know what my fixation, or major one at least, is so imma say Y/N and Naoya met during college, fell in love, got married, and after a while (not so much, they wanted a family ASAP) and had a lovely daughter named Naomi 😊

Naoya is the “breadwinner” per se, the one that works most of the time to provide his family with a good lifestyle, and that he certainly did. He initially bought a small apartment when it was still just the two of you, because in your own words, “with him at the office, and yours in your, there’s no need for that many rooms.”

That immediately changed when your pregnancy was announced. If anything, it seemed there were not enough rooms now.

“Our baby needs a room to play with her toys. But what if she wants to draw, or paint?”

“We’ll set up a room for that, that way she won’t dirty her toys.”

“And if she wants to play with her plushies? I’m afraid she’ll get hurt by the soft-hard contrast of each other!”

“We can’t take any risks; I’ll order a plush upholstered room just for that—”

“No, all the rooms! What if she accidentally trips and hits herself?!”

Of course, they didn’t follow through with that, because after sharing their plans with fellow relatives, they were quickly talked out of it. Saying that it wasn’t for the good of the baby to grow up so sheltered, and their wallets. Something that Naoya didn’t really pay attention to, eventually convinced otherwise when suggested that instead of spending money on that, it could be saved in literally anything else.

Cue the expensive, never-ending gifts from Naoya. Whatever his girls wanted, they would get—he’s the next CEO to his family’s company, it would be stupid to act like he wasn’t!

Because he’s so doting in one aspect, he’s a bit reserved in the other, at least outwardly… and a bit inwardly too since this is all new territory for him—He didn’t grow up in a loving household where words and displays of affection would be done, but Naoya is really trying his best.

He still cares for you and Naomi, of course, he just lets money do the talking for him.

But worry not, where he lacks, that’s where you step in!

Taking the role of “stay at home mom” once announced your pregnancy, you’re the one that ends up all the time with Naomi, showering her affection, reminding her how much she’s loved by the two, as well as keeping Naoya up to date when he’s away.

Wherever Naomi went, pictures needed to be taken: either posing near the ducks of her favorite garden, showing off her new acquisition (you always bought something for her, whether she asked for it or not) or just enjoying a scoop of ice cream in a hot day, or when picking her up when school—didn’t matter, it had to be shared, and Naoya appreciated all of those pictures, keeping them in a dedicated album for him to look back on to when he’s feeling particularly down, although he always ends up a bit regretful because he wishes he could be there in person.

Because of your closeness to her, you’re the first person she runs to tell of her day, or whatever crosses her mind, thus Barbie comes into your life.

Outside of the craze that seemed to taint every living thing with pink, your closeness with her is what led you to learn that Naomi wants to see the Barbie movie, which you were more than happy to oblige to as you usually did, until of course, this became the first exception.

You always liked going to the movies with her because it usually meant an amazing day out altogether. It was either going to the park first, getting something to eat later, and watching a movie at the end of the day; or anything else really, whatever Naomi felt like doing—it didn’t really matter, because going out with her was enough for you.

In fact, as soon as Naomi came to you, with her big adorable golden eyes and her even cuter smile to tell you how she wanted to see Barbie —which you were waiting for, really, it’s what everyone has been talking about after all— you immediately pulled out your phone to buy tickets… but upon seeing the rating, you stopped.

It was the first time you’d have to tell her a maybe, instead of the decisive yes she was accustomed to, making her frown and pout out of confusion.

“Oh, it’s nothing! It’s just that I remembered I had some things already planned with my friends, but I’ll let you know when we can go, ok?” you smile, gently ruffling her hair before pulling her into a tight hug and peppering her cheeks with endless kisses, only ceasing when she whined you to stop.

You’d let her be soon after, while you… well, continued to debate whether to take her to the movie or not.

After all, the whole world seemed to be in on it: the dressing in pink, greeting each other Barbie, or Ken, blasting the classic song from Aqua and singing along to it… it was only natural that your cute daughter wanted to be on it too, hell, you even the parents of her classmates being on it too!!

As days went on, and you still had to make a decision, guilt began to settle inside you for having unwittingly made Naomi feel excluded.

You attempted to mend this by changing her school supplies to all pink, decorating her hair with pink accessories—clips, ribbons, diadems, you call it, she has it— or styling her uniform with whatever was allowed to be pink. Her school actually bent the rules to comply to the children’s wants, after being… “persuaded” by the parents to do so—talk about the privileges of being in a private institution!

It didn’t take long after that before Naoya was deeply intrigued by her daughter’s newest obsession; first it was some show she watched when she was younger, then it was zebras, and now, the color pink.

Ever the one to ignore things he considered mainstream, more so when they extended beyond his realm of interest, this caught him completely off guard; even getting the point of believing he was going mad because once he saw his daughter obsess with the color, he began to see it everywhere.

It was in Naomi’s school supplies, her clothes, even bedroom, everywhere he glanced, pink was in. Sure, by that point he was really intrigued to know the reason behind this craze, but it still wasn’t enough for him to ask.

If that’s what his baby wanted to be happy, then he’ll oblige. He wasn’t like those parents that didn’t have money to subsidy their children’s interests, so he was for sure not going to act like one.

His curiosity would only get the best of him one night when laying beside you in bed.

Naoya had other plans in mind for the night, which were quickly foiled upon seeing you hyper focused on nothing but your phone, scrolling through endless and endless pages of stores, social media, and articles, all relating to the cause behind his wonder: Barbie.

“What are you doing, Y/N?” he’d finally relent after minutes and minutes of being ignored, resting his head over your shoulder and draping an arm over your waist. “Surely your phone can’t be much more interesting that me.”

“No, of course not” You smirk, getting into a more comfortable position so he could see what you were looking at. “But I have to this first, or I won’t be able to sleep!”

“Is that what’s keeping you up at night?” you sigh.

“It’s Naomi—she wants to see the movie, but I don’t know if it’s the right thing.”

“What’s this?” he smirks “You? Telling her no? That’s a first.”

“And it hurts me to do it!” You pout, he kisses your cheek.

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“Because the movie is actually much deeper than I thought, and I don’t know if our pumpkin is ready for that.”

“What the hell can a movie about dolls talk about?” he scoffs, voicing the same thought you had when seeing the rating.

“Very interesting topics, actually.” you explain, and he raises his eyebrows. “Social topics”

“Oh”

“Yeah, and I don’t know if she’s ready for them yet” you sigh again, before turning off your phone and putting it to the side, finally allowing you to snuggle against Naoya, who didn’t hesitate to move in a way that allowed your head to rest on his chest.

“I don’t recall ever worrying about those things when I was her age, but I guess it can only go two ways” you say.

“Which are…?”

“She either learns from this or is horrified by it!” you shrill “And I don’t want to scare her! If only could know what kind of reaction she’ll have beforehand!!”

“Why don’t you watch the movie first before deciding whether to take her or not?” he suggests, and at that moment, like the sun breaking the horizon, a new opportunity opens before you.  

“That’s it! That’s exactly what I could do! And once I see it with my own eyes, I can debate whether it’s suitable for her or not” you look up to him, eyes glistening with excitement. “How about it, hm? Shall we go to the movies, like we used to back in the day?”

Naoya hesitates, for he doesn’t want to be seen watching that movie, but your pleading eyes, the same one Naomi uses when she wants something, as well as the cause behind it, gets through him, and soon finds himself complying to your demands—not like he didn’t do so anyways, but truly, you and his daughter have him wrapped around their finger.

“Alright” he murmurs with a pout. “I Guess I could clear up my schedule and go.”

You giggle, admiring how he loves to play hard to get, as if he wouldn’t drop everything for his family.

It’s quite charming, cute even, and you feel so lucky that only you can see that side of him. Although you wished he’d be a bit more open with Naomi…

“I knew I could trust you to clear up my mind” you smile, snuggling further against him. “My dear husband.”

“I’m glad I was of help, but…” he begins slowly, one of his hands sliding further and further down your body. “I know another way to clear up your mind, I can show you if you’d like.”

You bite your lower lip, face flustered as you around, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

“Well, we can’t be too sure.”

You end up buying tickets for a showing two the days after, the day Naoya took off to go with you—it’s one of the perks of being so high up the chain in his job, he doesn’t need to give explanations or why he’s not going to work, he can just do it and that’s it.

Doesn’t mean his co-workers won’t inquire about it, more so when his day off was in the most random of dates.

Knowing this, the two end up going to a theater of his choosing, far away from the ones he considered busy, but still up to his standards, and of course, with extra cautionary steps to avoid being followed by his pesky relatives, and subsequently recognized.

“Naoya, honey, this is too much.” You’d say when walking towards the entrance, hand-in-hand with your husband. “Don’t you think we’re… attracting too much attention like this?”

Naoya wanted to go undercover, discreetly as possible so as to avoid suspicions, although his definition of discreet greatly varied from one another.

While you decided to wear a pair of jeans, and a comfortable pink hoodie (gotta follow the trend)… Naoya decided to go full on… well, he looked good, that’s all you’re going to say.

“What? Just because we’re going undercover doesn’t mean we’re going to do it… like that” he says, referring to an unsuspecting movie-goer and their… seemingly underdressed appearance. You gently elbowed him. He groans.

“Don’t be rude” you scold. “Besides, we’re standing out too much.”

You tried to be solidary to his appearance by wearing a pair of black shades, but now that you compare yourself to literally everyone else, it looks like you’re both part of the Men in Black.

“Then what do you suggest?” he asks, rubbing his arm where it still hurts.

“Lose the glasses” you suggest with a pout. “We look like total weirdos going into a building with them…”

“Hey, you agreed to it.”

“I mean, that was before we got here. It’s not my fault I just realized how silly we look” you say, swiftly taking off your glasses and placing them on their respective case before putting them away. “There, much better—besides, you’re too handsome to be hiding behind them!”

“That’s what it was, eh?” Naoya smirks, taking off his glasses; you grab them. “You just wanted to see me.”

You blush.

“And what about it?” you look away. “It’s been a while since we’ve gone out on a date just the two of us… not that I mind going out with Naomi, but… you know… it’s not the same.”

He sighs, giving you a smile before pulling your hand to his lips and kissing it. “I promise to go out more with you—just the two of us.”

Your heart flutters.

“I’d like that.”

After promises were made, you and Naoya go ahead to check in, deciding to buy popcorn and a drink—at first your husband said he didn’t want anything, saying something about a diet or so, but after getting a taste he succumbed to them immediately.

Once finding your seats and getting comfortable, the movie finally begins.

There isn’t much commentary to give at the beginning, outside of laughing at some of the silly scenes (mainly on your part, Naoya just scoffs) and how suddenly dark it gets from time to time. But outside of that, you and Naoya seem to think of the movie as… well, adequate for their daughter, nothing extraordinary, it certainly has the silliness she enjoys, making them wonder why it even got that PG-13 rating…

Until, of course, “real world” part; that’s when you and Naoya understand why many people thought this movie might be inappropriate for younger children.

There’s a lot of topics most kids don’t even fathom yet, ones that need the appropriate guidance of a caring adult, so they know how to handle them when they reach certain maturity.

It doesn’t take long before you and Naoya began to envision how confused Naomi was going to be upon seeing Barbie getting catcalled, kicked out of her house, the sudden change of behavior from the rest of the Barbie’s, and overall, the dilemma Ken has regarding his relationship with her.

But most importantly, the main point of the movie: existential crisis.

While Naomi would most definitely not understand that, or any of the past points, you and Naoya would feel the movie to be hitting “a bit too close to home” having been forced to reflect on these issues in the past as the young adults they were, either for their own individualism, careers, or their future as a couple…

Soon, they no longer worried how this would affect Naomi, but rather, how it spoke to them.

And by the time screening ended, lights turned on abruptly and revealing your and Naoya’s response to it: teary eyed, soaked cheeks, and speechless.

Your husband was quick to cover his face, putting his glasses on before anyone else got to see him in that state, whilst cursing how “there’s no respect nowadays” as he dried the tears on his cheek. You, on the other hand, simply wiped the tears out of your face, careless if anyone else saw you like that because first, it was a darn good movie, so yeah, you cried because of it. And secondly, you weren’t the only one crying in that room so who cares…

It's only until they get into the car that they realize one of the messages of the movie, at least the one they could relate to the most: their baby girl was growing.

In a few years, she’d be a teenager, bringing along all the struggles that come with such age, and then, a woman. One that will have to face the world on her own—because even if they will always be there to support her, there are some battles only she could take.

No one ever said raising a child was easy, less in a society as harsh as the one they lived in, but even with all their fears, it was something both still looked forward to. To create memories together, guide her through this difficult thing called life, and see Naomi grow into the wonderful person she was bound to become.

Getting the overwhelming need to see their daughter, you and Naoya skipped the rest of their plans and headed straight back home, where Naomi was eagerly waiting for them alongside her nanny.

The child was undeniably happy to see her parents back home, always did, but at this moment she couldn’t be anything but surprised when Naoya was the first one to rush to her, picking her up in her arms and giving her the tightest hug he could without hurting her.

“What’s wrong, papa?” Naomi would eventually ask upon feeling his hug go uncharacteristically longer than it usually does, as if him hugging her wasn’t weird on its own.

“Uh—nothing.” Naoya would say, doing his best to hide the tears in his eyes and the tremble in his voice. “Can’t I hug my princess?”

And while she’s never one to deny affection, Naomi can’t stop herself from looking at you perplexedly, as if seeking the answers of her confusion from you.

But you only reassure her with a smile, walking towards them and joining their hug. It’s then that Naomi concedes to simply accept her parent’s doting, nuzzling against Naoya as she reciprocates the hug, as much as her small arms could.

“How about we go out to eat?” Naoya suggests, looking at her with a smile. “We can go anywhere you want, pumpkin.”

Her eyes twinkle, for it’s no secret she’d been waiting for the perfect moment to suggest this place—not like she needed to, but she likes to organize her dates. You and Naoya chuckle, kissing her on the cheek, each on one side, a gesture that makes her blush out of embarrassment.

It’s safe to say that after careful consideration, both decided to take Naomi to watch Barbie, dressed up in the cutest, pinkest, most adorable outfit you could put together—with you and Naoya to match along, although more discreetly in your husband’s part, he still doesn’t get the pink trend, less when he was suddenly called Ken.

And as expected, the movie was a total success to Naomi, although there were moments where she’d look confused, but those were nothing compared to the ones where she’d laugh out loud.

Overall, it was a movie she greatly enjoyed, even with the confusions that came along: ones that both you and Naoya were prepared for, having long understood this could be the perfect opportunity to introduce to her.

She’ll understand half of it, perhaps even less than that, but it didn’t matter, for both were ready to support and guide her through every step, like the good parents they swore to be the moment her existence was announced—and that’ll never change. Even after the Barbie craze ends, when Naomi grows and no longer lives with them, they’ll never stop loving and supporting her.

Extra:

“How was your week—” Ranta freezes mid-greeting when something… peculiar catches his sight.

“What?” Naoya asks, not bothering to glance up from the paperwork he’s supposed to finish before the day ends.

“Is that—is that a pink tie?” he says, taking a closer look at the pastel pink garment contrasting against his black suit.

“Got a problem with it?” Naoya sternly responds. One subtle gesture is sufficient to have Ranta immediately retract.

“No, of course not!” he shrieks, nervously waving his hands. “It’s just— it’s just different. It looks good on you though!”

“I know” your husband groans, eyes still intently looking onto his desk… before eventually lifting his gaze towards Ranta, cheeks slightly flustered. “…I just got it; do you think Naomi will like it?”

“Huh?” Ranta blinks, Naoya frowns. “Oh, I mean, yes! I’m sure she’ll appreciate it!”

It’s a sentence that makes a smile break through Naoya’s lips as he glances back down to his work, satisfied.

“I’m glad” He match to see the look on his baby’s face once back home, after all, he just bought a bunch of clothes to match with her.

A/N: not me making Naoya cry and cover it up with his shades lol. Ah, he's truly devoted to his family.

[lostusagis]

Wooing Namida

( A drabble for my ship with @jiraipink )

Kamui had been staring outside the window of his ship, sitting silently. As Namida’s birthday got closer, he knew he had to do something really special for her. She did so much for both his, and Kagura’s birthday. She didn’t need to go so above and beyond, but she did without really wanting anything in return. Namida always did that for both of them. Which was why…. Kamui wanted to give her a special day as well. Especially since he had been so awful to her last year. His bandaged hand clenched into a tight fist, thinking about the things he said to her back then. He could only imagine how lonely she was feeling at the time too, she doesn’t have any family. She lived in the Kabuki district alone.

How did she feel that day when he was being so mean to her? Kamui didn’t think of any of those things back then, having been so irritated with her existence. Only wanting to spite and annoy her. He didn’t take her situation into consideration, he only saw her as a means of entertainment since pissing her off was funny to him at the time. But now…. She's so important to him. He didn’t want to piss her off the way he used to. Kamui liked being annoying at times, and teased her a lot, but it was harmless and he always made the effort to not take things too far. At least not anymore. Namida made him learn to watch what he says, and be more considerate of people’s feelings. Well, only her feelings. He was only considerate of her. Seeing her cry, and get upset made him feel hatred for himself. More than what he already felt. He couldn’t bear doing that to her. Not again. 

Kamui wanted to show her nothing but kindness and affection, the same way she showed it to him. The warmth, and kindness….. the happiness that engulfs him whenever they were together, he wanted to share that. Namida constantly made him act like a better person than what he was used to. Had they never met, he never would’ve discovered the value in having such a precious friendship with someone. She constantly made his heart race, put smiles on his face, would brighten up even the worst of his days…..

For a simple human, she had so much power. At least over him. 

So… he wanted to repay her for all of that. He wanted to make her the happiest woman ever on her birthday. Kamui wasn’t sure how to do that though, and there weren’t a lot of options with people he could ask for advice. 

Abuto…. definitely wasn’t an option. He constantly complained about the amount of money Kamui put into buying things for Namida, and how he avoided doing work when he wanted to spend time with her too. He’d probably just complain more if Kamui went to him, which would be really irritating.

Kamui sighs, using his index finger to draw the shape of Namida’s My Melody hairpin on the glass window absentmindedly. He then took out his phone, and came across an advertisement for Odd Jobs. 

‘’Oh, they’re able to afford advertisements?’’ Kamui mumbled to himself, looking over it. He contemplates for a bit, wondering if this was a good idea.

Should he…..? There wasn’t really anyone else. But that guy was a pain in the ass, just looking at him made Kamui want to smash his face in. 

After mulling it over for a while, Kamui caved. He dropped by Earth and visited Odd Jobs. For once, he opened the sliding door without sabotaging it. His gaze was greeted with his sister’s, who had been upside down on one of the sofas, on her phone.

‘’Woah, what are you doing here? You usually let me know when you’re about to visit.’’ Kagura asked curiously, sitting right up and crossing her legs. She noticed he looked more serious than usual. ‘’Are you okay?’’

Kamui immediately forced on a smile, ‘’Can’t your big brother just drop by for a visit?’’ The younger Yato gave him a skeptical look,

‘’Drop the fake smile, what’s up? I can tell when you have something on your mind.’’ Her chin rests in her palms, looking over at him. Kamui’s smile falters, as he plops down next to her.

‘’Namida’s birthday is coming up… so….’’ He’d stare down at the floor, with melancholy within his eyes, and Kagura could easily tell he was having doubts again. She bumps her elbow into his side slightly,

‘’Don’t look like that, whatever you do, I’m sure she’ll be happy. You’re really annoying when it comes to her, but I can tell she really enjoys being around you.’’ Despite Kagura’s words, Kamui still had the mindset that he had to do something extravagant. Worry finds itself on her face, seeing him look so down. ‘’Why’d you come here though…. if you’re worried about her birthday…?’’

‘’Wanted to ask that samurai for advice.’’ Kamui finally looked up and turned to her, ‘’Where is he?’’

Kagura’s eye twitched, ‘’Advice…? From Gin-chan? Are you sure?’’

‘’You guys do Odd Jobs, right? So I figured advice about how to make a girl happy would count as something like that.’’ He fiddles with the end of his braid, looking away. He had been skeptical about this himself, but didn’t really have any other options.

‘’Why don’t you just ask her to be your girlfriend? That’ll make her SUPER happy.’’ Kagura partly mumbled,

‘’Huh?’’ Kamui didn’t fully hear her, looking back over at his sister confused but she smiles and feigns ignorance.

‘’Nothing! Nothing at all!’’ She turned on the TV, ‘’Gin-chan is out getting snacks right now, he won’t be back for a bit. Soooo, let’s watch some anime!’’

‘’Is that my netflix account?’’ Kamui would ask, but Kagura loudly coughs and quickly switches over to crunchyroll. Her brother was glaring at her as she decided on an anime to watch. Eventually picking something involving spies, assassins and telepaths. 

About an hour later, the sound of the door could be heard and Kamui was immediately on his feet and eagerly greeted Gintoki with a grin. ‘’Hey there mr. samurai!’’

Gintoki was startled, backing up the minute he heard that obnoxiously cheerful voice. ‘’What the hell do you want?’’ He walked past him to put down the bags in his hands on the table in the living room. Kamui followed suit,

‘’Oh, oh, I wanted to ask if you could…. do a job for me?’’ Eagerness filled those bright blue eyes of his, meanwhile Kagura was going through the bags on the table looking for the cookies she asked for and immediately started snacking on them.

‘’A job? For you?’’ Gintoki sits at his desk, arms folded behind his head as he’d think for a few seconds. ‘’Hmmm, nah.’’

Kamui persistently goes up to his desk, pulling out his wallet. ‘’I’ll pay. Either that or I’ll beat you senseless. Pick one.’’ The cheery smile on his face only made his words all the more unsettling. Gintoki grumbles under his breath, taking the money once Kamui pulls it out of his wallet and slips it into his kimono.

‘’Fine. What do you want me do?’’ He didn’t even make an effort to hide his disinterest, since he couldn’t stand being around Kamui. But that didn’t seem to bother the Yato in the least. Kamui was grinning ear to ear, hoping advice from him would be beneficial in making Namida happy.

‘’I want to make Namida happy for her birthday. So I wanted advice on how to do that.’’ When the older Yato asked that, Gintoki just looked at him then over at Kagura as if silently asking ‘’Are they dating yet, or what?’’ with a dumbfounded look. 

Kagura understood and just shook her head, silently mouthing ‘’No, because he’s a fucking idiot.’’

Gintoki sighs, sitting up straight in his chair. ‘’Why don’t you just sleep with her, Kamui? I’m sure it’ll make her very-’’ His words were cut off by Kamui grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, tightly holding him up with a pissed off smile.

‘’If you don’t take this seriously, I’ll hurt you. Really badly.’’ His grip tightens, making Gintoki struggle to breathe more, ‘’Also, if you say anything perverted about Namida… You will seriously regret it. She’s extremely important to me. I don’t want to have sex with her, I just want her to have a really nice day. Got it?’’

He didn’t get a response since Gintoki was barely able to speak, but Kamui at least let him go. Albeit, by tossing him to the floor. Kagura felt it was well deserved and just minded her business. Her fudge filled cookies were a lot more interesting right now. She was really tempted to leave given that she knew this entire thing would be a cringe fest. Plus, it just grossed her out. She didn’t want to know what lovey dovey crap Kamui and Namida would end up doing. 

Gintoki groans, struggling to stand, using his desk for support. It was going to be a long ass day for him. ‘’Date. Take her out on a date then.’’ He hoped that answer would suffice for Kamui.

‘’Date…?’’ Sapphire hues blink curiously,

‘’Yes. Dates can make a girl happy.’’ The minute he was told that, Kamui’s face lit up. He figured he could request a fake date with Namida on the day of her birthday, and basically give her a day off too by making the day all about her. 

‘’Okay! Tell me what I can do on a date that’ll make her happy then! I’ve never been on one of those before!’’ Things like that didn’t even interest him to begin with, at least until he unknowingly fell in love with Namida. She made him grow interested in things he didn’t even consider beforehand.

‘’You could use pickup lines on her.’’ Gintoki leans his cheek into his palm after sitting back on his desk, ‘’Say the right ones and it’ll have them swooning.’’

‘’Oooh, what are… pick up lines? Like… what are we picking up?’’ Kamui had zero experience when it came to this, so…. he wanted to know every bit of detail possible.

‘’You don’t pick up anything dumbass, look I’ll give you an example-’’ Gintoki was interrupted by Kagura clearing her throat,

‘’As much fun as it would be to overhear two guys saying pickup lines to each other, I think I’m going to head out because I’m already nauseous. I’ll be with Soyo-chan, goodbye love birds.’’ What Kagura says immediately pisses off both of them, which was her goal before leaving.

‘’I think I’d have better standards than a complete psycho like this guy, I feel bad for Miss Big ti-’’ And a punch was immediately launched at Gintoki’s face, Kamui cracked his knuckles after. 

‘’She has a name. I told you to not make any perverted comments about her.’’ The glare he gave the samurai would be enough to terrify even the scariest of Amanto. Gintoki clutched his bleeding head, letting out a groan.

‘’Fucksakes…..’’ He was wondering why Kagura just had to have the most violent of family members. Kamui was worse than his father. Especially since he probably meant it when he threatened to kill him. Although, getting pissed over Gintoki making perverted comments is awfully hypocritical. Since he had seen the way Kamui looks at Namida when they come over sometimes. The Yato wasn’t very subtle when it came to looking at her chest, but even if they’re just friends… it seems Namida was already claimed. Gintoki really does pity her. Especially since Kamui seemed very possessive. He shuddered over what could have happened had the Yato discovered that brief time Gintoki blatantly checked out the girl. Must be lucky she didn’t rat him out for that. Gintoki would be dead. A puddle of bloody mush on the floor. She probably wasn’t in her right mind anyway if she befriended Kamui though. But, he was curious…..

‘’Wait, Kamui. What kind of….. friendship do you have with this girl?’’ Gintoki leaned his cheek into his hand, looking up at him from his desk, the joy that showed on the amanto’s face after he was asked that question made the samurai immediately regret asking.

‘’We’re really, really, REALLY good friends! Best friends actually! See? Look at this, we have matching bracelets!’’ Kamui held up his wrist, showing the bracelet that said ‘best’ that rested over the bandages wrapped around beneath it. ‘’She has the one that says ‘friends’ because we’re best friends, she gave it to me for my birthday! But that’s not all!’’ His excitement was really overwhelming, and annoying. He kept going on and on, speaking so quickly.

‘’I always visit her when coming to Earth! We do all sorts of things together. We cook together, play video games together, we cuddle together, kiss, hug, hold hands, bite each other and-’’

‘’Enough. PLEASE!’’ Gintoki finally interrupts, towards the end it was sounding less like friendship and more like lovers. He gave Kamui the most annoyed of looks, ‘’You really are a fucking idiot.’’

‘’Eh? How? I was just answering your question.’’ No logical thought in sight, he probably really only thought about this girl night and day. 

‘’You kiss her and bite her, and can say you’re just friends?’’ The nod Kamui did made Gintoki pinch the bridge of his nose, realizing how out of touch the guy was with anything that wasn’t violence and murder.

‘’She makes really cute sounds when I do either, and it just… makes me want to do it over and over again.’’ He couldn’t stop gushing over her, feeling warmth and uncontrollable joy from the thought of Namida alone. Gintoki only continued to understand Kagura’s disgust with every waking moment he was forced to witness this.

‘’I see…. so you get turned on then.’’ When he said that, Kamui gave him a look. As if it touched a nerve. It made Gintoki want to mess with him, ‘’C’mon Kamui, even if you’re an idiot… you’re still a man all the same. She’s made you turned on a bunch of times before, right? Did you get hard during all those times you spent with her?’’ 

He got the reaction he wanted because Kamui immediately started choking him with the collar of his shirt again, ‘’Drop the subject. I came here for advice not for you to bring up perverted crap about me and Namida.’’ the way he got so defensive and pissed off was basically revealing that what Gintoki said was true though. When he was released, the samurai had to do his best to hold back the smug grin threatening to show on his face. It was really easy to get on Kamui’s nerves, which made messing with him all the more funny.. 

Despite the truth to it, Kamui was really embarrassed over every time that kind of situation happened. It was not something he wanted to talk about with Gintoki of all people.

‘’Right, riiiiight. Advice to make your ‘best friend’ happy. Gotchaaaaa.’’ The advice about sleeping with her would have been beneficial in Gintoki’s opinion, given the amount of clear sexual tension between them. But, it seems that was crossing the line despite everything else they did. 

While he was contemplating what kind of advice, Kamui went into the bags Gintoki brought earlier to eat some of the snacks. Then went into his fridge and grabbed a carton of his strawberry milk too to go along with it. Fudge cookies, and strawberry milk.

‘’Hey asshole older brother, you don’t live here. Stop making yourself at home.’’ Although, everytime he said that, it went through one ear and came out the other. Kamui even had the audacity to sit on his desk too. 

‘’Hurry up. I don’t have all day.’’ Didn’t listen to a single thing Gintoki said, given the way he’s stuffing his face still. Crumbs everywhere. No consideration. Worst family ever. The most frustrated of noises came out of Gintoki’s mouth. He decided to just get this advice crap out the way and quickly get him out of here.

‘’Alright, alright.’’ He scratches the back of his head, pondering how to even begin. He looks Kamui up and down, studying him for a few moments thoughtfully. Then an idea came to mind, ‘’Oh. Why don’t you dress differently? In a way you know would make her really happy.’’ 

The suggestion was really vague and made Kamui turn his head to look at him confused, still chewing on the cookies. ‘’What do you mean? Dress how?’’

The samurai stood up, walking around to face him and kept thoughtfully looking at him, cupping his chin. ‘’Hmmm, well…. I think-’’ He only slightly touched Kamui’s braid before his hand was then being violently crushed under the Yato’s monstrous grip.

‘’Don’t touch my hair.’’ Kamui blankly blinked up at him, putting down the box of cookies, 

‘’Ow, ow, ow, fuck! I was just trying to explain that she’d probably like it if you wore your hair differently is all- Fuck! LET GO!’’ The pain practically had the samurai on his knees, but after explaining it Kamui smiled.

‘’Oh! Okay, I get it! So…. you think she’d like if I wore my hair down?!’’ He hadn’t let Gintoki go yet, ‘’She always calls me pretty after all. She’d probably like that a lot! What should I wear with that style?’’

The samurai was whimpering on the floor in pain, praying to the buddha who had forsaken him. ‘’T-T-Tux….’’ He managed to sputter out in between his agony. ‘’G-Girls… l-like… men in…. tuxedos….please…. let me go before you crush my hand…’’ the tears leak down his cheeks.

Kamui stared at him while he begged to be released, unfortunately the Yato found it really hilarious and kept doing it for a bit. A mix of revenge and just him enjoying Gintoki’s pain. When he did let go, the samurai let out a relieved sigh feeling his hand throbbing afterwards. When he so miserably stands up, he just mutters under his breath.

‘’How does miss big tits keep this guy in check? Seriously.’’ Although, Kamui heard that very clearly and punched him for that comment, making him crash into the wooden floor.. 

‘’What did I say? Kagura’s not here to protect you, so watch it. She might come home to a corpse if you’re not careful. The plot’s not here to protect you anymore.’’ Kamui would smile threateningly, getting closer and closer to standing by his word everytime Gintoki said something perverted about Namida.

Gintoki glared at Kamui from his spot on the floor, sitting up and wiping the blood from his bleeding face. ‘’Well, if I’m dead. You won’t get help with your problem.’’

Kamui clicked his tongue and looked away annoyed.

‘’Speaking of which.’’ Gintoki stands up, and sits back in his chair. ‘’Let’s talk more about the date. I mentioned pick up lines earlier, right?’’

‘’Uh huh.’’

‘’Basically… you just gotta say something that’ll make her heart race. Make her blush and swoon. ‘Namida, your lips look so tempting. It’s so hard holding myself back’ or something like that.’’ For some reason, hearing Gintoki say that really pissed off Kamui. Having imagined Gintoki being the one saying it to Namida, instead of him. That wasn’t the samurai’s intention but he wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp now.

‘’Maybe wink at her too after saying something that really gets a good reaction out of her.’’ That suggestion put Kamui off, finding something like that embarrassing.

‘’Women find that appealing?’’ He would ask that, although if Namida had done it to him… he probably wouldn't mind it. 

‘’Depends who’s winking at them. Drunk, creepy perverts? No. Pretty boys? Probably.’’ 

‘’Drunk, creepy and perverted… Oh, you mean like yourself?’’ Kamui would say smiling, making Gintoki wish he’d burst into flames. ‘’What, did you try this out and fail miserably?’’

‘’You should be a little nicer to your sensei, Kamui. I’m trying to help you out with mi-’’ He paused before he used that nickname he gave Namida again, seeing the Yato already cracking his knuckles again. He fakes a cough, ‘’I’m trying to help you out with Namida. Your best friend. So… respect me more.’’ 

‘’Please remember I’m restraining myself from breaking every bone in your body right now, Mr. samurai.’’ The words come out cheerfully, despite the murderous thoughts going through Kamui’s mind. He wondered how his sister lived with this guy, she had more patience than he did for sure.

‘’I don’t have to help you.’’

‘’I also don’t have to let you remain alive, yet here we are. Do I need to put you through some more torture for you to get the message?’’ Kamui stepped closer, and that seemed to intimidate Gintoki enough to stop joking around. Holding up his hands to stop him.

‘’Okay, okay! Have a sense of humor.’’ He huffs, then taps his index on his desk. ‘’Anyway, back to what we were talking about. Say something really cool and charming, then drop the wink and I’m sure she’ll be swooning.’’ 

Gintoki was trying to figure out an example, thinking maybe that’ll help. He stood up, and went to Kamui. Then took his hand, and went on one knee putting on his most charming grin. ‘’You’re the most beautiful girl in all the universe. No planet I’ve been to has ever had someone as remarkable and as unique as you. Namida.’’ 

Kamui immediately snatched his hand away and immediately punched him again in retaliation, disgust on his face. ‘’Don’t ever use me in your demonstration again.’’

Gintoki hissed in pain when knocked against his desk, ‘’I was showing an example you bastard! I’m trying to be helpful and you keep resorting to violence!’’ Blood dripped down his nose as he barked at the other,

‘’Be helpful in a less gross way.’’ Being touched in such a way by anyone other than Namida, made his skin crawl. Only she could grasp his hand like that. Only she could be affectionate with him. No one else. Only her. Only. Her. He hated being touched without permission. It often happened when idiots had the balls to flirt with him. They either did not know who he was, or were just REALLY stupid. Sometimes both.

Gintoki seemed to be pushing it though, having wrapped his arm around Kamui’s shoulder as if they were close friends. Actively pissing him off more and more, ‘’Kamui. You need to be more open to touching too if you want to make her happy. Women like being touched, you know… here and there. Get what I mean?’’ 

‘’I get that I want to kill you right now for being so casual with me.’’ Kamui responds with an all too dangerous smile, but Gintoki ignores it, wanting to get his point across. He leaned close to his ear,

‘’Some groping might add a little spice to your date.’’

Silence settled within the room for a concerning amount of time, before Kamui started beating him without remorse. ‘’It was a joke! A joke!’’ Gintoki would yell in between getting punched and kicked. Kamui eventually stopped, breathing out in frustration.

‘’Asking you for help was obviously a mistake. Why would you suggest something so stupid? You thought ‘hey, this guy doesn’t know much about women so maybe I’ll trick him into sexually harassing someone really important to him’, right? You’re really hilarious.’’ Kamui at least knew that much, especially given the time he accidentally groped her before. He scowls at Gintoki and holds out his hand,

‘’Refund.’’ 

Gintoki was trying to recover, thankfully having gained endurance from the numerous times Kagura or Umibozu had kicked his ass. He holds a hand up, ‘’Wait, wait. Hear me out.’’

‘’You told me to grope Namida, I think we’re past that. Believing anything you say is too dangerous. You’ll make her hate me.’’ His bandaged arms folded over his chest, looking down on the samurai from where he stood. ‘’I came here because I wanted to avoid that. I constantly make mistakes that upset her. So I… wanted advice to avoid that but asking a bastard like you was the last thing I should’ve done.’’ Shoulders slumped as he frowned, looking away sadly. Kamui wished he had more options. He didn’t have any other people he knew that could help. Or maybe Abuto would have been a better choice, Kamui just didn’t want to deal with the tedious complaining that would come with him.

Gintoki however, ended up feeling bad. Seeing Kamui look like that came as a surprise. He looked genuinely remorseful. ‘’You know Kamui, I think you’re worrying over this too much. She probably would be happy with anything you do.’’

Frustrated fingers thread through his bangs as Kamui gritted his teeth, ‘’No. Just doing anything is not good enough! I want to make sure everything is perfect! I want to make sure I don’t mess up! I don’t want to make her cry anymore, and I don’t want her to avoid me like she did before! I want her to stay by my side, I don’t want to lose her! She’s really important to me! You don’t get it! I was also REALLY awful to her during her last birthday and NEED to make up for that after everything she’s done for me!’’ He was growing more upset to the point his voice cracked while yelling, feeling a tightness in his throat while trying to keep his emotions in check.

Gintoki was mulling over what to say, not exactly expecting to deal with Kamui in such a state. Kagura was probably better at this, since she knew him better. But she bailed. He leaned his head against the desk sighing.

‘’At the very least, try the date idea I gave you. Dates and all that are pretty normal when you want to have fun with someone. You can trust me on that.’’

Kamui looked at him skeptically, doubting everything he was told by him. ‘’Trust me Kamui.’’

‘’What part of what you told me today is actual advice I can believe?’’ 

‘’Everything except what I said about groping I guess.’’ The samurai shrugged, ‘’I guess that sort of thing would just work with courtesans or something.’’

Kamui rolled his eyes, ‘’If anything that you told me to do messes up our friendship, I’m killing you. That’s a promise. And not Kagura or that bald bastard will be able to save you. I’ll make it slow and extremely painful, making sure you suffer every second until you breathe your last breath. Got it?’’ That threat was enough to make anyone piss their pants. 

‘’Yeah, yeah….’’ Gintoki was nonchalant, exhausted from the constant beatings he had gotten while Kamui was here. ‘’If anything, try acting like the male lead in a shoujo manga. Those are really popular with women after all.’’

‘’I’ve never read Shoujo manga before though. They’re boring.’’ Kamui found no interest in reading about love. Gintoki found it pretty ironic that he hated the romance genre so much, yet acted like a lovesick yandere psycho.

‘’You could also…. act like an otome character too.’’ That suggestion striked a sudden reaction from Kamui, eyes slightly wide when remembering Namida talking about something like that. 

‘’Huh….’’ Although, Kamui doesn’t fully remember having thought the whole thing was stupid. There was some character from an otome that Namida really liked. She stopped bringing it up though. ‘’Acting like a character sounds…. really…. would that actually be appealing for her?’’

Gintoki waved his hand dismissively, ‘’I barely know her, so how would I know? Given your reaction, I’m guessing she’s into that stuff?’’

‘’She is. At least, she used to be. She hasn’t brought it up in a long time.’’ Kamui recalled making fun of her one time for it. He was feeling weary, stressing  so much over this, burying his face into his hands.

‘’How about you just teach me more of those pick up lines?’’ When he brought his hands down from his face, his cheeks were slightly red. ‘’I think at least… maybe… s-she’ll like that.’’ Kamui had a feeling he was going to have to push through a lot of embarrassment for this. He’s done things before to make her happy, at the expense of his own pride, solely because he can’t stand her looking sad or disappointed. He’d remember when he went to sanrioland for Kagura’s birthday, and saw how happy she was just because he put on that head band. His face was red the whole time, but he started to eventually forget about it seeing the look on her face. 

Kamui looked over at Gintoki who was rummaging through his stuff, ‘’What are you doing?’’ Eventually a dvd set was thrown at him. He catches it then looks at the cover, dread shows on his face.

‘’An anime about hosts? How will this be helpful?’’

‘‘Their whole purpose is to make women happy.’’

‘’Don’t they basically lie and play with women’s feelings to sleep with them though?’’

‘’Kamui, they’re not courtesans. What the hell did you think that cabaret club was that we have over here?’’

Kamui tapped his chin, ‘’Uh… Kind of just assumed it was similar to Yoshiwara. But I don’t really go to that place to begin with since I’m not interested.’’

Gintoki ran a hand down his face irritably, ‘’Just watch that anime.. Although, when it comes to looking for inspiration for your date… the tall, blonde guy is your best bet.’’

Kamui’s stare lingered on the dvd set, before going to the TV and slipping it inside. It seemed like the samurai was giving decent, trustworthy advice now so he’ll give the benefit of a doubt. Murder was still an option if the date went badly though.

After watching the dvd, Gintoki was helping him through gaining the same kind of charm as the character he told Kamui to look to for inspiration. Every second of every minute Kamui felt the utmost embarrassment from this.

‘’Just say it. Stop being a little baby.’’ Gintoki would encourage, meanwhile the Yato was as red as a tomato scowling at him before sighing and deciding to continue.

‘’P-Princess…. you look r-really… b-beautiful today.’’ The words came out somewhat like a mumble, unable to shake off the embarrassment. He’s never really gave Namida a nickname like that, nor did he know if she’d even like it. He always found nicknames like that to be extremely stupid and cringe.

‘’I can barely hear you.’’ Gintoki put his hand near his ear, then smugly smirked. ‘’You sound like a shy school girl.’’

That remark made Kamui want to smash his face in so badly as he glared at him. But he was actually being helpful so the Yato refrained. For now. ‘’P-Princess…. you look really beautiful today…..’’ He stammered less that time, and was more loud.

Gintoki clapped, ‘’Wooooah, you’re not completely hopeless. Good job.’’ He snorted slightly, trying to hold back his laughter since this was the same Kamui who was a huge threat three years ago.

Kamui was choosing to ignore the mocking since he was more concerned over the date with Namida. ‘’Princess, your lips look so irresistible and tempting. L-Let me k-kiss them over…and over again.’’ His face felt so hot, he really hoped this was going to please her.

‘’Hmmm….’’ Gintoki leaned his arm on Kamui’s shoulder, humming thoughtfully. ‘’You know, that line could probably hit better if you whisper it into her ear. That’ll make her swoon.’’

Kamui huffs from the close, unbearable contact yet endured. ‘’Really? Won’t that creep her out?’’ 

He’d hear a thoughtful hum from the samurai again, ‘’Good question, shall I show a demonstration?’’

It earned him an immediate kick in the shin, making him fall to his knees in pain. ‘’Fuck! Damnit Kamui! It wasn’t a joke, I’m trying to help you out here!’’

‘’You say a mix of helpful stuff, then extremely creepy stuff so I’m trying to figure out what I should or shouldn’t believe. Don’t whisper into my ear, that’ll make my skin crawl. I told you I don’t want to be part of your demonstrations.’’ The first time was enough. Despite him having been here all day, he didn’t consider Gintoki a buddy or anything. Just a nuisance who’s temporarily useful. 

Gintoki was wincing in pain from his shin being hit so hard, thinking it might be broken. ‘’Damnit…’’ He figured it was time to just end this, ‘’I think you’ve gotten enough advice for your date. Can you leave now?’’

Kamui tilted his head, ‘’Eh? That’s it?’’ He was expecting more, and was willing to put himself through the hell of dealing with Gintoki in order to get as much advice as he needed.

‘’Just… do the usual things you do with her too, and if all else fails. Sex is an option.’’ Gintoki shrugged, still feeling his shin throbbing in pain. Kamui stared at him, before smashing his face repeatedly into the wooden floors then promptly stomped out. Leaving him bloodied and bruised before leaving.

He’ll figure out the rest then, since this guy was USELESS.

[smoft-demons]

MC ask game random answers 2 (rapid-fire mode)

Link to OG post! Feel free to ask me to answer any other questions, from that OG post or otherwise! Or to elaborate on any of these!

Answers are about Auva, my obey me MC. Basically she’s human, 20, aroace, ADORES her seven demons, and like,, changes the tone of the story from polyam-coded romance-ish to straight up found family/big QPR vibe.

Assorted questions from the general info section:

4. What kind of magic do they possess?

She’s got a few assorted spells from her pacts. She doesn’t learn to use any of them until like,,, some point after the time travel thing. Maybe in year two. That remains to be seen. It’s spells that have something to do with each pacted avatar’s abilities/values/something they want her to be able to do. Plus she got lay on hands and chill touch from Lilith after meeting her ghost. Thematic choices from her lol.

5. Which deadly sin best aligns with them? Which do they embody the least?

At first glance, dead tie between gluttony and sloth. She’s a foodie and bonds with Beel about it, but it becomes a gluttony thing because it’s not just a love for food, it’s an impulse to try to fill an emotional void with overindulgence. Not just food! Also games, sleep, reading, watching stuff, escapism in general.

For sloth, it’s just that she is not very inclined to move or do much when she doesn’t have to. She’s a homebody who LOVES oversleeping, and puts so much effort into optimizing necessary tasks so that she can spend the least amount of energy at any time. She’s careful not to go so far into those tendencies so as to make other people’s lives worse by being lazy, but she knows that’s a thing that she could fall into easily if she’s not careful.

She LOOKS like she embodies sloth the most, but if you examine her motivations, Gluttony juuust takes first place.

For what she embodies the least… depends on how we define them. Without question it’s Lust if we’re counting that as just… a sexual thing. Because she’s aroace. She experiences no sexual attraction, and if we’re equating lust to that then she’s fully immune to it. However, if we’re defining lust as intense wanting, fixation, staking your identity on cravings and goals and passions, then it’s higher up. She feels very deeply, and makes a point of being careful about remaining balanced and reasonable about that.

Greed too. If we define it as just a money thing, then she doesn’t really feel it. Nothing like how Mammon does, at least. She is not an impulse spender nor a hoarder. But she does sometimes notice herself getting a little bit more possessive than she’s comfortable with, and having to immediately back all the way off and examine where the hell that came from. So in that way, she’s got a bit of greed.

Envy as well is like that for her. She feels it in ONE specific situation. But then again, it never manifests in a way that would urge her to make someone else’s life worse. She’s never “if I can’t have it no one can” when she’s jealous, like classic envy, but instead like “oh… but me too though?”

With that in mind, probably envy is the one Auva embodies the least.

7. What is their favourite place, and what do they love so much about it?

Her demons’ arms. No question. She pretty much always wants one of them to hug her. She takes every opportunity to be in someone’s arms. It’s just nice. Warm and comfy and safe. If someone is holding her, she can’t possibly forget that they love her. Unfortunately, this is a pretty easy thing for her to forget otherwise. RSD sucks. Her history of touch deprivation sucks even worse.

(If we want an actual location, then there’s a few. Her bed, the library, the observatory, anywhere she can be in water, that sort of thing. But really, she would be happy in any random place as long as one of her demons is holding her.

9. Do they attend RAD? What is their role there? Best subjects, club activities?

Yes, she’s a student at RAD. She’s good at languages. AWFUL at numbers. Good with theory, be it science or magic. Really likes potions, because it’s kind of like baking. Working with spell components as well. Math, phys ed, and seductive speechcraft are all the bane of her existence however. She’s got dyscalculia, she’s NOT fast, she’s aroace, and her charisma stat would be like,, -3 probably if she were a D&D character. She only succeeds in that class on the days when demon classmates are trying to practise on her and she’s NOT supposed to let it work. That’s very easy for her! She isn’t even fully sure what they’re expecting her to react to lol.

In terms of club activities… if RAD has a choir she would do almost anything to join it! Otherwise uhhh… do they have D&D in the Devildom? Maybe a GSA? An astronomy club, a book club, anything like that? She likes those.

If there’s nothing like that, it’s okay though. She’s more than happy hanging around with her demons at home. She wouldn’t want to do more than 2 clubs anyway, she doesn’t want to be TOO busy.

[truedairship]

Have another Fic Title. :)

Six Impossible Things

Thanks for the title, truly, it certainly made my imagination happy! My mind immediately jumped to those Five Times challenges, I wrote Nikola’s part… and then the rest happened. It was most certainly not my intention to make it this dark! Blame it on late night studying and then writing all this in one go I suppose.

A second round through history. Where do you draw the line of how much you dare to affect? When does acting, or choosing not to act, become playing god?

In the end there were many small things she dared to do that, should a mistake be made, might risk altering the timeline. Things her old self hadn’t been able to explain, ‘miracles’ that had been oh so convenient in times of need, funding that had all but fallen into their lap when resources risked running low… In a time before digital surveillance and the World Wide Web, pushing the boundaries of what was perceived to be possible without being detected wasn’t very difficult. No. Her trip to the past had not been a century worth of vacations, but the countless of species thought extinct even by her past self, now safely moved to her new sanctuary made it more than worth it.

Some things, however, were too impossible even for Helen Magnus to accomplish.

She had entertained the idea. Of course she had. Ever since finding out about the energy being cohabiting his body she had tried to figure out a way of separating them. She did not believe it to be the cause of all the violence, but it had certainly played a major role, of that she was certain. However, even with a hundred years to think, she could not come up with a way of keeping it contained. Not without completely altering the future. And perhaps she didn’t dare to find out how much of it was all John in the end. At some point, the victims of Jack the Ripper became a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things.

Letting Nikola in on the truth had always been part of the plan. It resulting in him nagging her for investment advice had not. Because one did not need a hundred and fifty years of experience to disbelieve that he would keep a low profile and use the money sparingly. She never told him how much their timeless arguing comforted her. Besides, with the amount times he would come to deplete her wine cellar in the future, he certainly got his fair share of that money either way.

The evening of April 14th, 1912, found one Helen Magnus in front of an empty bottle of whisky, sitting close enough to the fireplace that it could be blamed for the sweat pooling around her neck. Not even her warmest jacket could block out the icy cold gripping her chest. It was not the last night she would spend with a bottle, drowning out the sounds of terrified screams falling silent half a world away.

He knew. Of that she was certain. Why she had ever thought she could keep it from him she didn’t know. The very moment she told him about the time travel, she saw the comprehension in his eyes, the realisation that in her time, she has already seen him die. She wants to tell him about the energy being in John. To ease the bitter heartache of his betrayal. She does tell him to bring a damned spare battery for his suit with him. He never lets her finish, to tell him when he will need it. Perhaps, she thinks, he finds comfort in knowing there is an ending waiting for him in the future. And she can’t help the feeling of jealousy coursing through her because of it.

When an archduke was shot in Sarajevo, Helen Magnus helped a newborn child take its first breaths in Nepal. She didn’t trust herself not to interfere, should she have remained in Europe. Declining the grateful offers of food, she left the house. How could she explain that today, every smell reminded her of the rotting stench of dead corpses. Two wars worth of corpses, and she was now responsible for them all. Her hands hadn’t stopped shaking since she tried to wash the blood of them. In the years to come, she often wondered what right she had, choosing not to change it all.

The first time, she had begged him to stay. Had wanted to force him into accepting more of her blood. Now, standing in front of the newly covered grave, watching the single white tulip next to the flowers her past self had left mere hours ago, she couldn’t help but think that he made the right decision. Espionage and bank robberies aside, seeing the never ending violence of the future would’ve broken her dear Nigel. As he had told her all those years ago, humans were never supposed to live that long. When exactly she stopped thinking of herself as human, she didn’t know.

Heart in her throat, she watched as the consciousness stored in the modified Praxian computer was transferred into the sleeping body. There were things still impossible even for Helen Magnus to do, but figuring out how to retrieve a daughter scattered across an EM-shield was not one of them. Heavy as the burden of it might be, it was her job after all, always doing what others can’t.

[lark-and-lyrebird]

Got up the courage to ask my stepdad that if he is gonna keep going to music gatherings a bunch, and is not going to mask, I have given up asking folks not to do that for me. But that if he starts feeling even a little under the weather, even if it’s probably nothing, to please mask around me in the house preemptively since we all just got over our Covid infections.

It went better than expected, even if I don’t know if anything will actually change yet. Long post so under a cut

(I’m not okay with his behavior but picking my battles.)

I explained what symptom flares I’m struggling with in the immediate aftermath of this infection, and how it’s all like it was after that first one but More. Because while I have the privilege of being able to actually rest, my body’s a mess.

He usually just shuts down when mom tries to talk to him about this and she never wants to let me bring it up with him, but she’s still out of town till Wednesday, so i was able to do so without interference. As usual, when it’s just him and me talking, we just. Talk. Neither of us wants to fight. We want to work this out. We want to find a solution.

I explained that the vertigo is no longer debilitating as it was during the acute phase, but the room is still spinning a little bit all the time. That my balance and coordination has gotten much worse. That my nerve pain and spinal issues are still flaring so bad I frequently feel like I’m being zapped if I move wrong, but especially if I let my neck go into flexion and look down it’s like a shock down to my toes. Stuff I’ve dealt with before but is currently still causing a lot of trouble.

I laid it out pretty matter of fact. Saying I wasn’t saying this because I want him to feel guilty, but because I wanted to let him know where I’m at right now. Because I usually deal with all this stuff in silence outside of periodic specialist visits where they’ve mostly brushed me off, or sadly told me they didn’t know how to help and referred me to someone who also couldn’t help.

Told him I know how to manage symptoms and carefully recoup, but I’m in a precarious place right now and CANNOT afford to get slammed by something else so soon.

I told him I know the community he finds at these gatherings is extremely important to him, and as much as I wish my family would mask at them, I have given up on pushing for that.

(I have not been *allowed* to bring all this up to him because mom seems convinced I’ll turn it into an argument. He���s overheard my attempts to talk to her about it. He knows how I get shut down and that he is not the reason I’ve given up there.)

I only asked that if he goes to this stuff, and feels even a little run down, for the next few weeks please humor me and mask in the common areas. And he nodded and mumbled “okay”.

Doesn’t guarantee it’ll work but it’s a better response than I’ve gotten from anyone in ages on this topic.

I think it helped that unlike mom I didn’t brow beat him. I was up front about the way this hurt me physically and how I’m trying to manage that, but he can make the “I did that by specifically ignoring the request to sit out the specific event that I caught it at, or mask while there like I was begged to by my wife” connection himself, but there was no need to hammer that in.

The “this is why I’m asking for this going forward for a little while at least, and here is why” approach worked much better.

If I get knocked on my ass again, that’s more money they gotta spend helping me with meds. (and meds for themselves and their subsequent lost work income and anyone else they infect but I didn’t say that part cause taking a narrow focus approach.)

How we’ve already suffered setbacks to getting our passports updated because of this and how it overlapped with other things and I *have* to unmask for my passport photo, and can’t afford to delay that again. Same with taking cats to the vet for checkups and shots- we need the money for that and we need to be able to physically go into the building.

The long and short of it was that all the things the family as a whole need me to be doing, are things that will get upended again if I get sick again while I’m still in this precarious stage.

I cannot help us during a crucial time window if I take another hit right now, and I want to help us.

I hope this helps. I was able to have the conversation with him which is huge. Starting to think mom is wrong about me being too cranky and combative and unreasonable and too much for him to deal with, because every time he and I speak one on one it goes fine.

And I only asked him to proactively mask in the house if he starts feeling iffy even if it’s probably nothing and to warn me so I can too, for a couple of weeks, while I get these overdue tasks done and try to recoup physically. I told him I’m not going to push him to stop going out or berate him for not masking when out, or beg him to; but just to consider meeting me halfway on something else if he’s going to continue as is. But I can hope against hope that this might have planted a seed of “hmm maybe I should consider masking up a little bit”.

Maybe it won’t but my approach worked better than mom’s. He didn’t shut down we didn’t argue I didn’t berate him and he actually listened to me and asked good follow up questions. It didn’t feel like he was shutting out the words before they got into his head like I see happen when she tries to have this convo. And it doesn’t carry as much weight coming from her because she’s really inconsistent about this shit, too.

Me? I’ve been masking in public since 2020 and don’t intend to stop. My family no longer bothers to don them to make me feel less isolated or make a gesture at caring for my health when we go out and I have quietly resigned myself to that to avoid fights. I have quietly made my life smaller, and consistently done the things I was asking of others, and it works for me. Except for when they get reckless and this pattern plays out again.

Maybe this will not change his behavior but I don’t feel like a door got slammed in my face.

I also finally got up the nerve to tell him I’ve been using a cane when alone because my balance issues are getting bad, but that I’m too self conscious to use it around the house much. Especially if mom is here. She’s worried about me bumping furniture and breaking stuff with it, as if my bull in a china shop tendencies aren’t massively reduced by using a balance aid. And the idea I need one scares her. She doesn’t want it to be true and tries to find reasons it isn’t. She starts getting really pushy and controlling about how I’m managing my health when presented with reminders that it’s bad, but I don’t take her health advice anymore because she considers me asking for consistent masking to be wildly unreasonable. Discredits her a bit.

Told him about how it got snatched out of my hand once back when I tried one in New Hampshire by someone who thought I was faking. How that’s why I don’t use it in public. I’m really weird about people seeing how I move but I’m trying to work up the courage to at least freely use it at home on days I need it.

Told him I’m not ready to use it around mom yet, trying to get more comfortable with it first, but I’m using it with him around now.

(Course once she gets back she’s in the house with me almost 24/7 so BLEH)

But. He now understands that I am quietly and privately managing some shit right now, to this extent, and hopefully presented my case for why I’m asking him to humor me on this for a couple weeks in a way he seemed to take in instead of shutting out. “Tl;dr I know how to work on recovering from this to the extent that I can but if I crash and burn a second month in a row from something we could prevent odds are good that the fallout that hits me would negatively impact the whole household. Cause I won’t be able to do what little i *am* able to do around here.

I’m glad I got up the nerve to talk to him about this while she’s still out of town. The dynamics are simpler when it’s just two people involved in a tricky conversation like that.