#i can’t reduce it all to ��one thing that hurts the most’

[em-harlsnow]

difference between the first seasons of shameless and the last seasons imo

read beneath the cut, it’s pretty long

what i think really changed about the last seasons of shameless compared to the first seasons is how they tried to incorporate the audience. i’ve seen writers/producers say that they tried to set up the cameras in a way that made it feel like the audience was a part of the family, or a visitor confused by all the chaos.

i think that idea was lost in later seasons and you stop feeling like a part of the show, but even more than that, the audience becomes very detached from everything.

further, i think the characters began to lack the same weight that they did before. as they all start to grow up and become steadier as people, the show also loses its chaotic appeal. by the time the characters were all adults, the writers seemed lost on how to add that gritty dark element that the show had initially without becoming repetitive. there’s only so many times that frank can have some ridiculous storyline that hurts his kids where fiona has to pick up the pieces. it gets boring.

so to try and stop that happening, they ran with old comedic devices that i felt shameless had always deviated from, or at least exaggerated. but no, in the last seasons the show fully leans into them. it becomes more like a sitcom, like modern family or friends.

with tami and lip, it was tami getting insecure about lip possibly liking someone else and lip coming up with all these schemes on how to spend less money and hide that he was going for cheaper options from his girlfriend.

with debbie, it was the show leaning into the whole milkovich/gallagher thing and trying for a new pairing which honestly was entirely lacking. we had more development on her and mattie’s storyline (which was gross) than her and sandy. they turn debbie into a caricature and leave her without much emotional development, taking away any of the audience’s compassion towards her.

with carl, it was the whole police thing, where he struggled with his annoying boss and then his second annoying boss.

with liam, it was him becoming very mature very quickly, but lacking the same depth that debbie and carl got at his age. that’s just my opinion of him, bare in mind i haven’t watched his scenes in season 10/11 recently.

with ian and mickey, it was them becoming that TYPICAL comedic couple, with the show taking away a lot of what made them different. So many of their storylines were full of pointless arguments and unsatisfying resolutions. they tried to make them almost middle class, removing mickey’s skill in crime and making him look lazy. taking away all of ian’s emotional development and making him seem pissed off constantly. they don’t seem to understand each other the way they did before.

don’t even get me started on kev and v. they were one of the most interesting storylines at the beginning, and they suddenly became boring.

fiona left, so i can’t comment much on her.

shameless also lacks the connection the show used to have between storylines. every character was somehow connected to another character at the start, all the different plots influencing each other. that quality was lost later on.

at the beginning, the show made great points about poverty and politics without needed to obviously explain each one. it was metaphorical, an example of poverty and of people and relationships and life. In later seasons, it becomes too obvious for me. the messages the show is trying to convey are much more clear and surface level, which means the impact of these messages is reduced.

it’s like the difference between someone giving you an example of a specific person who has been abused, let’s say. You can either tell an emotive story about that abuse or you can say, they were abused, this is wrong. shameless originally was emotive, giving you connections to characters and therefore adding weight and meaning to their stories. It becomes shallow when the show gives its messages in plain ways. like the conversation that ian had with that woman in the furniture shop about the election results in season 11. sure, ian was right, but it doesn’t have the same impact when delivered in that way. if they’d done the show the same as they did in the first seasons, i’m sure the message would have been conveyed more passionately and effectively.

now, this is just my opinion. i don’t hate the last two seasons, but it wasn’t very shameless-esc. I also don’t write TV shows, so i don’t know exactly how to fix all those things

i do enjoy the last seasons, it wasn’t all bad. but it was different to the first ones, and that is something to comment on.

[redflannelsheets]

.

[monstersholygrail]

In a Free Use City, your knowledge on the subject of your job isn’t always what’s most important. And in your case, it’s the least important. You were actually known as quite a ditz in the Free Use City Offices.

You worked in the tech department surrounded by a bunch of hot and nerdy guys who spoke in yours you couldn’t even begin to understand. You were just happy to be there and they were happy to ogle you and press against you whenever you asked for their help with any simple task.

They thought they had the upper hand on you, thinking they were so clever. But you had them all on a leash. An entire department at your disposal to give you pleasure whenever you wanted.

Your favorite man to bother was IT Robot. He got his work done fast and spent the rest of the day goofing off. The easy air around him made him approachable and the way all his shirts fit snugly against his bulging pecs made you drip with need.

You can’t help but spare him another glance before hesitantly returning your gaze to your own computer, the screen filled with the program you still haven’t figured out. Great, now you were confused and horny.

“Need me for something?” IT Robot’s voice suddenly purrs into your ears. His steel-like grip grabbing onto your plush hips and pulling you back into his hard chest.

His body molds to yours so perfectly it has you tingling all over. Arousal gushing and soaking through your panties. He turns you on so bad even when he barely did anything but it was like your body was out of control. As if it could be programmed just for him when he was the robot.

“Help… I hurt,” you say with a pout, your mind turning to complete mush whenever you’re around him.

IT Robot flashes you with that charming lopsided smile of his, heavily amused by the puddle you melt into whenever he talks to you.

“Where does it hurt, huh? It hurt here?”

He caresses your soft belly with an appreciation that borders on worship before one hand slips beneath your skirt, nuzzling his fingers between your soaked folds.

“Or here?” He asks while the other gives a little pat on your head.

A low whine escapes your lips as he rolls his fingers over your clit, your hips jerking into the touch. And that’s all it takes to have IT Robot plunging three of his fingers deep into your cunt, making you gasp and tremble in his arms.

“That’s what I thought… Don’t worry your pretty little head, I’ll fix the issue right away. It’s what I do after all.”

Your vision blurs as you dive into the pleasure head first. Choking out harsh moans as IT Robot’s fingers move inside you with precision like he has an entire map of your pretty pussy printed in his head. His fingers move in a blur as they pump themselves inside you, hitting all the right places that have you seeing stars. Each curl of his fingers sends your pussy fluttering and clenching down around him.

“Squeeze me tight, honey, ngh c’mon! Don’t think about a thing, just focus on being my pretty baby. My good girl.”

His words send the last thoughts in your head flying out the window, reducing you to nothing but his perfect little fuck toy. Your body relaxes without having to worry about a thing, allowing the ecstasy to overwhelm you.

IT Robot chuckles again as that fucked out expression fills your features. He flattens his palm so that it rubs hard against your clit with every snap of his fingers. With a few quick movements it has you falling over the edge and exploding all over his hand. Your vision flashes white as your orgasm rolls through you and you can’t find the strength to move any of your limbs after.

But that’s alright, IT Robot will take care of you, his fingers slipping out of your pulsing cunt with a pop, and giving your temple a soft kiss. He doesn’t bother cleaning up his hand dripping with your cum as he starts typing on your computer, solving the issue with the program you were using, and successfully helping you with both your aches.

“There, there. I’ve got you, pretty. Just keep feelin’ good. All because of me,” he whispers in your ear. Planning to spend the rest of the day doing all your work for you.

[ohimsummer]

✎ . . .❝GOOD GRIEF, SUGURU!❞

— minors dni, period cramps, poly!satosugu rs, established relationship, jokes about period sex (from Suguru lmao), suggestive comments, i wrote this when my uterus was uppercutting my ass

You read recently that a broken femur and childbirth are two of the most painful things a human could experience. The way these cramps feel at the moment, you’re willing to fight someone on that.

“No more of these.”

Gojo snorts. It’s like Geto just revealed the worst news in the world, when in reality he’s just concerned for your health.

Your head jerks to look at him, blinking rounded, puppy dog eyes and hand still reaching for the bottle of pain meds. “Satoru, make him!”

He glances back at Geto, who’s tucking the small pill bottle into his pocket and giving Gojo a sinister side-eye that he doesn’t like being on the receiving end of. “ ‘Fraid I can’t help ya this time, baby, Suguru’s word is law.”

“A lie!,” you whine and try to stuff your hands in Suguru’s pockets. “Suguruu!”

“Darling, you’ve taken enough of these already.,” Geto tries to console you, fingers combing your hair as you bury your face in his neck. “It’s not safe to take anymore within 12 hours. You’ll have to hold off for a bit, my love.”

Your pitiful whine breaks both their hearts, and Satoru reaches for another one of the dark chocolate bars he'd bought for you earlier. “Here, open wide. These should help ease your pain, yeah?”

You sniffle, groaning. “You eat it, 's not workin' for me.”

A beat passes before Satoru replaces the candy bar on his nightstand. “I’ll start running you a warm bath, then. That sound good?”

“. .Okay.” It comes out a feeble whisper, and you shiver in Suguru’s arms. “My nipples hurt.”

Satoru is thankfully out of earshot for that comment, but Geto hears you loud and clear, thumbs massaging the backs of your sore thighs. “I’ll suck on them later.”

“No.,” you mumble into his neck. “You’re gonna try and fuck me after.”

A low chuckle rumbles in his chest, a soothing vibration. “Maybe.”

“Gross.”

Geto's shoulders tremble as he tries to hold in his laughter. "Ya know orgasms help reduce cramping, too?"

“You would know something like that, weirdo." Your head turns and you catch a peek at the upturn of his lips. "Besides, I don't want blood all over us.”

“Surely it's nothing I can’t lick up?”

“Good grief, Suguru!,” you push yourself up and away from him, scowling at his laughter and the smirk on his face. “You’re disgusting!”

Satoru calls from the bathroom. “Is he talking about period sex again?”

[drdemonprince]

I grew up with abstinence-only sex education, and it did a real number on me. But I’ve shaken off enough of my old cultural programming to realize that the transmission of bacteria and viruses is a thing that sometimes just happens when animals come together, no matter how stringently we might try to prevent it.

I have gotten urinary tract infections when a stray microbe found its way into my urethra after sex. Lube and bodily fluids have disturbed my vagina’s pH and caused a yeast infection many times. So has wearing a bathing suit for too long without drying it, yet another “risk” worth the pleasures of swimming along the sea wall.

Once or twice I’ve had an outbreak of cold sores, just like 80% of humans. If I’m like most people, I probably caught oral herpes when I was very young, sharing a sippy cup or rolling around at a sleepover.

None of this makes me disgusting, irresponsible, evil, or dangerous to others. It just makes me a living creature that exists in close contact with other creatures. I believe I have a responsibility to get tested regularly, to alert people who have been close to me when I get sick, and to use preventative measures like condoms, PreP, vaccines, toys, and masks to prevent the spread of infections as best I can. But I never imagine I can lead a life without risk — or that such a life would even be desirable.

There is no such thing as completely “safe” sex. A friend of mine can’t use condoms because they give her bacterial vaginosis. She chooses instead to fuck raw and take PreP and get anything else she catches treated. A guy I know who masks and tests religiously caught COVID while fisting someone (with a gloved hand!) at an air-filtered party. HPV is so prevalent that most sexual wellness clinics don’t bother testing for it, and can’t do much for a patient if they do have it. Our bodies are teeming at all times with various endemic viruses and microbes that we will never have the power to purge.

Then there are the possible costs of not having sex — vaginal atrophy, pelvic floor weakening, reduced access to endorphins, loneliness, touch starvation, the despair of harboring dreams that one never dares try. I can’t decide for anyone else which dangers loom the largest, but for me a gonorrhea shot is a fair trade for the hours of leg-cramping, bed-staining, hypno-kinky sex that led to it. There’s no guarantee that the next time I have sex it will be anywhere near as much fun, but the potential keeps me throwing the dice.

I hear quite frequently from sexually inexperienced Autistic people who crave an intimate connection, but desperately wish to remain responsible and “safe.” They want there to be a set of iron-tight rules they can follow that will guarantee they remain a virtuous person who never hurts anyone’s feelings, and never catches any sexually transmitted infection.

I understand why they want someone to impose order onto an unpredictable, terrifying world. But I can’t give that certainty to them, nor can anyone. All I can suggest is that they be honest with themselves about what they want, inform themselves of the costs and benefits to pursuing their desires, and then venture forward — proudly welcoming the correct risks into their life, rather than trying to avoid any risks at all.

Life is nothing but a negotiation of risk. If a person has gender dysphoria and they want to combat it, they must risk a transition they could one day regret. If an abolitionist wants to take a stand against the police state, they must plan for the possibility of arrest or political repression. When we open our hearts to love, we expose ourselves to grief — our partners will keep changing and growing, sometimes away from us. Each step that we take forward in life closes off potential paths. There is no avoiding this.

Instead of chasing after the false promise of “safety,” trying to remain completely insulated from harm and challenge forever, we must get better at admitting risk into our lives.

I wrote about all about the messy business of risk mitigation, and how the pursuit of perfect safety is used to justify isolation, theft of bodily autonomy, and political repression. It's free to read (or have narrated to you by the app!) at drdevonprice.substack.com

[erwinsmithsmissingleftarm]

hello i was reading your works and are really good may i request zeke x reader smut hc? Or warriors smut hc? thanks you

Warriors and how they fuck you

Zeke is a real beast. He plays dirty, teases you until you beg on your knees for him to touch you and fucks you until you nearly pass out from pleasure and exhaustion. This man does not show you any mercy when he pounds into you from behind. Real nipples play enjoyer and addict with your chest, Zeke is sucking on it like a leech until your breasts are covered in purple, red and blue marks. His favorite position is the doggy cause he likes to mate like an animal in heat. Bonus fact: Zeke often falls asleep with his head on your boobs, using them as a comfy pillow. Sometimes he even sleeps with one of your titties in his mouth, like a baby.

“What do you want? Sorry, did not hear you speaking.” “You like it when I touch you here, right? Yeah, that’s my good girl.” “Eh, you are already wet and I only touched your breasts? Needy brat.” “I said, I want to hear you beg for it…”

Reiner is a secret softie when it comes to making love. He’s pretty shy about the subject but all the embarrassment disappears once in the bedroom. This guy is a big cum eater and there is nothing better for him than you riding his face. He needs to feel your weight on his face and your wet cunt on his lips. Gets really whiny if you tease him because he’s such a needy man for you. He prefers traditional positions like the missionary when it comes to penetrative sex as he knows how to do them well. Also, a LOUD man. Whimpers and moans escape his lips non-stop, and he does not even hold them back. Bonus fact: he absolutely despites wearing condoms. Reiner says that they are uncomfortable and reduce his sensitiveness.

“You taste so fucking good. Could eat you out all day, baby.” “Hey, keep them spread for me, alright?” “Stop teasing and put it in already or I’m going to put it myself.” “God, you drive me crazy… pussy feels so tight and warm.”

Bertholdt the most lovey-dovey of the Warriors. He makes love to you like it’s described in a romantic book: slow and passionate. His thrusts are precise and gentle so you could feel every inch of his cock going in and out of your pussy. He often puts you legs on his shoulders and pulls your hips forward to hit the deepest parts of you. Bertholdt is a silent one, the only noise you can hear coming out of his is a gasping sound when he cums. He likes when you ride him, the view of your face twisting at the pleasure while you lower yourself on his dick drives him nuts. Bonus fact: foreplays can be very long with him because he takes the time to kiss all you sweet spots and caress every inch of your exposed skin.

“Does it feel good here? Need me to hit that spot again, uh?” “Can I move? Alright, I’m going slowly in.” “I’m gonna show you how much I love you tonight.” “Take a deep breath… yeah that’s my darling.”

Annie is not often in the mood for sex but when she is, she is giving her 110%. You are this woman’s dearest thing and that’s why she can’t help but praise you every time you do something good. Her cold hands run up and down your curves until her fingers reach your moist spot. Annie is gentle and soft with you, like if she is scared to hurt you by accident. Her hand works quickly but carefully on your genitals before she leans in to suck on it. Annie does not have a favorite position, but she prefers when she can see your face because it reassures her to see the pleasure of it. Bonus fact: She also likes to receive oral, soft sounds escaping her lips while your tongue works on her wet pussy.

“Yes, right here please. Feeling so good-” “You are so good for me. Fuck, I’m going to cum if you continue like this.” “Someone’s excited? Don’t lie, I can see the wet spot on your underwear.” “You are so needy, aren’t you?”

Porco is more of the mean and arrogant type. He’s always bragging out to his friends about how good he is at sex and how much you love it and it’s true. Porco is fucking you better than anybody could have. His thrusts are quick and harsh, hitting your cervix every time he moves into you. This man spanks your ass when you start to give him attitude or when you try to hold back your moans because there is nothing he loves more but hearing your voice. He enjoys making love to you against a wall, your legs and arms wrapped around his hips and shoulders while he lowers you into his cock. Bonus fact: Porco likes to spoil you by buying you sexy outfits to wear in the bedroom. He loves the way your cheeks turn red when you are standing in front of him in that red lacy lingerie he just bought you.

“So pretty for me sweetheart. Come closer.” “You like when I fuck you like that? Answer me, slut.” “Keep that pretty mouth of yours open, let me hear how much you like my cock.” “You need it so bad, it’s almost pathetic.”

[jennifer-jeong]

Smut | Sylus x AFAB!Reader First Impressions

SUMMARY Your first impressions of Sylus and how they translate into the more… intimate parts of your relationship.

CONTENT NSFW, smut, hard kinks, BDSM themes, size kink, impact play, spanking, vaginal penetration, doggy, missionary, choking, clit play, creampie, m and f orgasm, I WANT HIS STYLUS 😼, he’s secretly very in love with you idk, ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+

AUTHOUR NOTE I literally haven’t even downloaded the update yet because my phone has no storage LMFAOO so this is literally just my first impressions of him based off my Tumblr and Twitter timelines and the posts I’ve seen about him.

WORD COUNT: 789

Sylus wasn’t a man that understood restraint. While he understood how he would go about holding himself back, he always decided on disregarding it, especially when it came to you.

The man was the definition of domineering and he was always absolutely determined to wreck you.

Sadism was almost too light a word to describe him with how much he enjoyed drinking up your fear and uncertainty. You knew he was stronger and he always left you unsure of what he’d do next or if it was going to hurt.

When he tries to bully his thick member into you for the first time, he can’t help but let the way you whine “ah! H-hurts” make him twitch at the entrance of you.

Despite your protests, time and time again your body betrays you, showing him how bad you want him by gushing all over him. Helping him slide into you as he stretches you to his size. Your body genuinely couldn’t take his size before but it’s actually gotten easier overtime as if you were genuinely being molded by him. The thought of it made you dizzy.

He absolutely loves fucking you in doggy and spanking you until your skin burns, turning bright red. While you weren’t one to shy away from the dull stinging, he always took it a few slaps too far. He knew when it would actually start to hurt for you and when the skin would get too sensitive, and he’d push you past that point with 3 harsh slaps before rubbing his hands over the area to soothe you.

When he fucks you in missionary though, he’s a whole other monster. In this angle he can barely bottom out in you so he’s genuinely bruising your cervix with every rough thrust.

Of course he checks on you after and gives you good aftercare, but in the heat of the moment, he most definitely bullies you. He slaps at your pretty tits, pinching your nipples and pulling up before letting them recoil as you yelp at the pain.

When he chokes you he does it with his left hand so his right hand can slap at your pretty tear stained face while he whispers the nastiest things to you while holding intoxicating eye contact.

“Such a fucking slut hm?” slap “y’like it when I slap you don’t you,” slap “so fucking filthy” he says with a chuckle “just for me” he adds as he kisses you.

When both of you start to reach your highs, he’s definitely squeezing your neck harder. He presses expertly on your arteries to reduce the blood flow to your brain, starving it of oxygen. It makes your eyes roll back and tongue loll out ever so slightly.

He does it because he knows it fucks with your senses. All you can hear is your heartbeat in your ears as the wet sounds of skin slapping fade out. Your vision gets hazy and spotty, and Sylus’s favorite part: your pussy gets slightly less sensitive. Your brain can’t register all the signals while it’s fighting to keep you conscious. He does it often to deny you your orgasm.

But he also does it so he can catch up to you, it’ll take a while for him to admit it but he absolutely adores finishing with you. Loves feeling your walls milk him in waves as your body racks with shivers. He also loves hearing your voice and how shameless your moans become when you become undone.

So when he’s close, he fully lets go of your neck and instead sits up to ram straight into your g spot and thumb at your neglected clit.

As you feel blood flow into your brain, you also feel the intensity of your pleasure ramp up over the course of 2 seconds before it crashes down on you and you cum so fucking hard each time he does this.

He loves the way your back arches and how your hands grip the sheets for dear life as you cum. You also have a habit of squeezing your eyes shut when it hits you and he finds it kinda cute. But in the moment, he’s usually too far gone to be thinking about if you’re cute or not. You squeeze him so sinfully when you cum and you gush with arousal, making it feel absolutely amazing for him as he stuffs you with his own release.

When he cums it’s also one of the only times you’ll hear him actually moan. He’ll let out grunts and quiet moans but when he finishes in your gummy walls he can’t help but let you know how good you feel. It’s his way of saying “I love you” as he collapses onto you, holding you and breathing into your ear.

|| MASTERLIST ♡ || Thank you for reading! ||

[solarmorrigan]

Wrote this a while ago for I think an Angsty August prompt but never posted it. Stumbled across it a few days ago and realized I actually liked it, so here it is

Rated: T | Words: 935 | CW: Anxiety attack | Tags: hurt/comfort, Eddie Munson needs a hug, Steve Harrington has chronic pain, Eddie Munson takes care of Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson loves Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington loves Eddie Munson, the stress and imperfection of caring for someone with a chronic illness

-

There are bills. There are always fucking bills – a pile of them lying on the kitchen table where Eddie sits now, head hanging, hair clenched in his fists as he tries to breathe.

He’s pulling so hard that he’s giving himself a headache, and it nearly makes him laugh, but he refrains. He gets the feeling that if he starts, he might not stop – he’ll get louder and louder, maybe get a little hysterical, and then he’ll disturb Steve, who’s currently laid up with the mother of all headaches. Eddie’s little tension headache pales in comparison to the might of the migraine.

At least it’s Saturday. Steve hadn’t had to miss another shift, and Eddie is free to stay home and keep him company. Not that there’s much Eddie can do; he takes another shaking breath, trying to burst the band of anxiety wrapped tight around his chest, but his thoughts keep racing.

The envelopes piled on the table stare back at him as he blinks watery eyes down at his placemat, rent and utilities and medical bills all crying out for payment. Eddie’s job is barely enough to keep them afloat, and Steve – he helps as much as he can. His new job doesn’t pay as much as his last had, but fewer and more flexible hours reduce the chances he’ll get fired after calling out one too many times (like his last job).

(And Eddie can admit, if only in the privacy of his own head, to some frustrated, bitter thoughts in his weaker moments, wondering why Steve can’t just push through his pain like Eddie does. There are days when Eddie’s scars act up, when his body aches and he wants nothing more than to stay in bed, but he doesn’t.

But then he sees the results of Steve “pushing through it” – ignoring the way his whole body hurts, moving until he physically can’t anymore, until even breathing feels painful. Shoving off the impending signs of a migraine until they get mornings like this one: vomiting and stuttering and auras, sitting on the bathroom floor until Eddie can coax him back to bed.

He sees it, sees how much it kills Steve that he can’t do more, and feels ashamed.)

It isn’t just the bills weighing on Eddie’s mind, though. More even than money trouble—something with which Eddie at least has experience—it’s Steve that’s scaring him the most. The days when he’s overwhelmed by pain or by exhaustion, by fogginess and migraines, seem to be increasing, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do.

Scrape together enough money to go see another specialist who will tell them shit they already know and recommend treatments they can’t afford?

(Eddie would. If Steve’s doctor gave him yet another referral, Eddie would find a way to make it work. He’s just not sure anymore that it would help.)

He hates feeling useless. Hates sitting by, unable to do a damn thing, unable to solve the problem, stuck in place just like he had been in high school, dead weight, no good to anybody–

A rustling of sheets followed by a quiet groan reaches Eddie’s ears from the bedroom, snapping him from his spiral.

He sits up, then, releasing his hair and rubbing his hands over his cheeks, catching any stray moisture from beneath his eyes. He takes a few deep breaths, shaking less now, and stands from the table. There is one thing he can do, and even if it doesn’t feel like enough, Eddie is going to do it.

The bedroom is dim, curtains drawn over east-facing windows that blessedly get less light in the afternoon. The bed is a wreck of pillows and sheets, moved around or cast aside in an effort to alleviate the pain, to warm up or stay cool through a fluctuating body temperature. Steve lies in the middle of it all, turned now to face the door, one arm stretched over the empty space where Eddie had been.

His eyes are closed, but Eddie’s pretty sure he’s awake – sure enough, he pulls his arm back as soon as the bed dips under Eddie’s weight. Eddie slides back beneath the sheets and takes Steve’s hand with a gentle squeeze.

“Hey.”

Steve hums, eyes still closed, squeezing Eddie’s hand back. “Where’d you go?”

“Just got up to stretch my legs,” Eddie answers (it’s an easy lie, one Eddie feels no guilt over, because it’s better than explaining that he’d gotten up to avoid waking Steve with the anxiety attack that had built in his chest the longer he’d lain in the silence of their bedroom, watching the furrow between Steve’s brows that made him look pained even in his sleep).

After a moment, Steve’s eyes flutter open, searching Eddie’s face. Whatever he finds there makes his frown deepen.

“Kinda ruined our weekend, huh?” he says quietly. “’m sorry you’re stuck with me like this.”

“Don’t,” Eddie says lowly. “Never apologize. I’m not stuck with you, I love you.” He leans up, presses a kiss to Steve’s forehead, and Steve sighs.

He takes their joined hands and brings them to his lips, kissing the back of Eddie’s. “I love you, too,” he murmurs against Eddie’s skin.

“You need anything?” Eddie asks, before he really settles in.

Steve makes a noise in the negative. “Just you,” he says, lips still brushing Eddie’s hand. “That’s enough.”

Eddie can’t help the overwhelmed tears that well up in his eyes again. This is enough – they’re enough. As long as Eddie has Steve, they can figure the rest out together.

And that will always be enough.

[shiningjustforreid]

aura

where Spencer Reid meets someone who shares his pain - if only for a bit.

warnings/tags: 18+ (implied intimacy), migraine-era spencer reid, reader has migraines, reader is called ‘girl’ once, heavy themes at the end, spencer rambles about stars, hospitals, spencer calls reader ‘angel’, no use of y/n

word count: 1774

a/n: hi! this is my very first published fic (even though i’ve read for years!) and it’s nothing major, but i thought it would be fun to finally write! i hope you enjoy <3

- ✩ -

Hospitals may be one of his least favorite places.

“Did you know that actually on any given day 1 in 31 people in a hospital have a hospital induced infection? these include things like a surgical site infection, MRSA,”

Cue the smell of the antiseptic, drowning out the smell of people dying. It’s too clean.

Makes him on edge. But then again, most things do. When people give him that look that clearly says ‘shut up.’ He seems to pull in darkness, trouble, and maybe it’s because he creates it for himself.

Currently, he’s sat, in one of those uncomfortable hospital benches, foot tapping anxiously, sunglasses on, because everything hurts. Notably, his head and eyes.

The lights. The lights build a nausea in him that’s like a tidal wave, build an agony behind his eyes that threatens to reduce his thought process to ash. He still squints, behind the black plastic; it’s not enough, not enough to quell the pain entirely.

“No, I’m, about to go in, actually.”

Is what he should’ve said. But Spencer Reid, a forward man, an eloquent man, is not.

“Can I sit here?”

Quiet, but polite. He makes the mistake of looking up. Your hair is messy, probably from the wind outside, and tucked away from your face. The coat you have on is a deep admiral blue, and it just makes the lack of color in your face all the more apparent. A green bag, slung on your shoulder, as you fiddle with the zipper. Chapped lips form into a halfway smile, and, most noteworthy of all, you have black, plastic glasses on.

“I have an appointment, it’s probably, it’s right after yours, but if I can’t sit here, it’s okay, I-“

You’re backtracking, which means you’re nervous, probably because he’s just been looking at you with an impassive expression, even more unreadable due to the glasses. He clears his throat, and opens his mouth.

“No, um, actually I’m waiting. Hopefully not much longer though.”

God help him, because there’s a shared struggle here, between the two of you. He sees it, in your tense shoulders, the way you sit down slowly, as to not generate any more pain than necessary, the way your hands tremble like leaves in the wind when you adjust your glasses after slowly turning to him. Your halfway smile stays put, though, even through the slow movements.

You move like that, because every movement seems to intensify the burning hot behind your skull.

He knows. He doesn’t know you. Not at all.

But he knows your pain. And maybe that’s enough.

You don’t nod, because it’s unnecessary movement.

“Yeah, I finally gave in and booked an appointment. I’ve had to call out of work for them at least 3 times in the last two weeks.”

Them. The migraines. You don’t need to name them, you both just know. You’re clearly both there for a reason.

“I’m uh, Spencer, by the way. I’ve had mine for a bit now too.”

You tell him your name, and the sound makes a welcome warmth flood through his chest. A star, tiny, but burning, is born. Gravity in his chest, tugging you in, as your heat floods his heart.

Bad idea, bad idea - the alarm bells are clanging. He doesn’t know how sick he is, and he really doesn’t know how sick you are. This could spell disaster, and yet-

He’s intrigued. You radiate this nervousness, a distinct desire to be understood, seen, known. He knows that desire. He has that desire. He wants to know you.

“I think mine might just be due to stress, but, I don’t know. It’s the easiest explanation to deal with.”

For your sake, he hopes that’s all they are. Stress.

And, you’re still sitting there, head bowed, when the nurse comes out and asks questions.

She asks about hallucinations. As if this hell is all in his head. You sit there, silent, biting your lip, worrying the cracked skin in your teeth, your hands picking at the fraying edge of your coat.

When he comes back out, somehow even more tired, even though all he did was lie there and answer some questions, he speaks your name, softly.

As if he has the right to.

You jump a little, look up, and remove your glasses. He stares, he can’t help it. Visible, is the pain, the way your ocular muscles are tense, your skin without color, but you smile, still.

He makes you smile.

“Everything okay?”

Spencer nods hurriedly.

“Fine, for now, I have to get to work. You uh-you’re next?”

“Mhm. Will I—is there any chance I’ll see you again, Spencer?”

You don’t know him. You know him, you must.

“Uh, I mean, I—you want to see me again?”

When will he learn to speak when it actually matters?

“Only if you want to, I-I know I would like to see you again.”

He leaves the hospital, that damn hospital, with a small slip of paper, with ten numbers scrawled in purple ink, and your name below it, a tiny smiley face beside it.

When he gets home from his next case, he fishes that paper out of his messenger bag and types each digit into his cell phone with shaky hands.

Is he tempting fate? Perhaps. But fate answers, your soft voice coming through the phone.

Soon, he finds himself at a café with you, sipping his saccharine sweet coffee and telling you about his job, or some book he just finished, in detail that you don’t seem to protest against. It’s refreshing, really - just to be listened to. To be heard. When you leave, you give him a barely-there kiss on the cheek, a soft goodbye. The star burns brighter.

“I had my follow up appointment.”

He tells you, on the third date, as you two sip coffee once more - are these dates? Would Morgan be impressed? - trying to keep the conversation casual, yet relevant. Your eyes widen with interest.

“And? Did they give you answers?”

He makes a face, shaking his head.

“No. Well, yes, but they told me it’s psychosomatic.”

All in his head.

Your face falls, and you look truly sympathetic.

“I’m sorry, Spencer. I knew how much you didn’t think that to be the case.”

He takes comfort, then, in the way you hug him goodbye, your cheek pressed against the cotton of his cardigan, eyes shut against the light. He tenses, only for a second, before his arms curl around you, resting against your coat.

“We should do dinner.”

He mumbles into your hair, before he can stop himself.

A real date.

And you do. You have dinner, and he makes you laugh, even though it’s quiet, like a bell ringing at Christmas, tiny, joy-filled, and the star in his chest just glows. Your face is tense, though, and he can’t figure out why. You won’t say. either. You never do. You keep your responses composed, and careful, calculated. Like you’re afraid. He wonders why, but won’t press it. You are made of nervous energy. He knows this now.

A few months, of appointments for both of you and cases for him where he aches for your hand in his and coffee and dinner and museum dates, and one ice skating excursion he will not mention, and then—

He makes another mistake then, when he asks you to come over, after a case.

“Just for coffee, or to talk, not to-you know, unless that’s what you want, I—“

Yet, that’s how he ends up with you in his bed, in his lap, your warm hands sliding over his skin like you’re in awe, your wide eyes meeting his own, because he dimmed the lights, and thank God neither of you are hurting right now.

He takes you apart, piece by piece, with his mouth on your collarbone and fingers across your ribs, learning, seeking to know. Because that’s what he wants, to know you, fully, in every way he can, until there’s nothing left for him to study.

After he watches you tremble under him, with his name on your lips, he realizes he’ll never be able to memorize all of you. You’re too extensive, with the blush on your cheeks and the way you cling to him and the way your eyes sparkle for a moment, just a moment, before they dim again.

You’re tucked into him, under his chin, as he traces shapes mindlessly into your back with his fingertips. He feels that star, burning bright in your arms, for millennia to come.

“I love you.”

You smile against his chest, before you speak again, choked up.

“You shouldn’t.”

“Whyever not, angel girl?”

Because you are like an angel, come down from the heavens, his angel, gracing his life during some of the most incredible pain he’s ever felt.

“They told me I’m dying. They found the source of it all.”

And the star fizzles, and sparks, and slowly, a cold ice begins to dwell where the star was. Months fly by, and yet drag, each day feeling long but the weeks short.

He finds himself in the hospital - miraculously, his migraines have given him respite today - your hand in his, his eyes on you. You don’t say much, you never did, but now, he feels like you don’t ever speak at all.

Until you do.

“Spence?”

The light in his chest flickers, illuminating his darkness.

“Yes, angel?”

“Can you talk? About anything? I just wanna hear you.”

He nods, and his voice gets quiet, almost breathless, the longer he speaks.

“Did you know that stars actually are simultaneously pulling apart and being pushed together? The heat from inside the star creates a pressure that causes the atoms to separate, but the gravity attraction forces them back together, as it burns. The bigger a star is though, the less time it takes to go through that fuel.”

He stops, looking down at you. He wonders if you’re listening.

“But when the heat is gone, when it stops burning, there’s nothing to counteract the gravitational pull, and—“

And it collapses in on itself.

“And it just sort of sucks everything else in without its heat, the light, if it’s large enough. Pulling everything in, everyone in-“

He’s said too much. You open your eyes, your voice barely a whisper.

“I don’t want you to do that. You won’t, Spencer, I swear.”

In a rare moment of strength, you tug yourself up, to hold his face in one hand.

“You burned before me. You’ll burn again.”

He nods, desperately trying not to weep.

But I won’t burn like I did with you.

“The brightest stars burn the fastest, so we must love them while we can.”

- Anna Todd

[glamourscat]

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ My thoughts on the Itoshi brothers’ dynamic ⋆. 𐙚 ˚

The Itoshi brothers’ dynamic is so damn sad, and it breaks my heart a little more every time I think about it.

The thing is, we know that Rin is deeply upset (and that’s an understatement) with Sae. Sae made him a promise, the one about becoming the best players in the world together. Reading the manga makes you understand that the way Sae says it, it’s meant as nothing more than “child talk.” You know, when you’re a child and you feel you’re on top of the world? Exactly like that. When you feel you’re invincible and nothing can break you.

But then Sae left for Spain, alone. He was still just a kid. We don’t know what happened during his time abroad, but we can speculate that it wasn’t easy. Easy to adapt, given the cultural differences between Japan and Spain. It probably wasn’t easy to understand and come to terms with the fact that he was not “the best in the world” like he used to be in the little team he played for in Japan. He went to Spain, met stronger opponents, and his dream got crushed. From a striker to a midfielder, because he saw better talents than him. Because he was probably made to feel like his talent wasn’t worth even trying.

You can’t tell me that a little boy with so much substance, joy, passion, and determination to become the number one striker is suddenly reduced to nothing but a shell of who he was. Sure, people grow, but we are talking about a massive jump. We are talking about a kid left to his own devices, alone, without a family by his side in a foreign country.

Which leads me to Rin. I understand his anger. The way he feels betrayed when Sae comes back and suddenly it’s not about “us” together, but about “us” separately. I understand the way he felt betrayed because while Rin poured every ounce of his sweat and tears into leveling up for Sae—his older brother had instead “moved on,” logically. While Rin was breaking himself in four to become someone good enough for Sae, keeping the promise they made close to heart, Sae hadn’t thought about it twice.

Sure, you can blame Rin and say he was too naive, too childish. But he was. He was all those things; he was a child. What child, a younger brother at that, wouldn’t take into consideration the words from his older brother? Younger siblings thrive off their older ones, becoming who they are as individuals by looking up to their older siblings, most of the times at least. It’s obvious why Rin chose football and not another sport, for example. Why he stopped receiving presents from Santa at 8 because his brother had stopped at 10—and if Sae stopped, then so would he, despite still longing for presents.

The betrayal hit Rin particularly hard because while he still had no idea who he was or is, he had at least Sae to look up to. And he was under the impression that the two of them would become the best together. But then Sae comes back, and that dream is out the window.

I’m not going to sit here and debate ethics, because morally speaking, neither Rin nor Sae are perfect beings. They are both equally flawed, and that’s what makes this tragic. Fast forward to now, with Rin being 16/17 and Sae 18, this is where the issues flow in.

They are both old enough to know that the words Sae spoke in the past and the present are wrong and hurtful. No, it’s not “sibling dynamics.” You can be as angry as you want with the world, with your sibling. But to speak like that, then pretend nothing happened and genuinely be confused about why your little brother is “acting out” is next-level madness. Last time I checked, we don’t know exactly what type of individuals Rin’s and Sae’s parents are. But, seeing how their kids react to conflict and hard emotions, it’s safe to say they probably aren’t the best parents. And there’s some emotional neglect involved.

Back to what I was saying, when you’re 16 your emotions are so damn high, this is not me trying to excuse Rin, it’s me understanding where he comes from. It doesn’t excuse the type of person he has become. It’s me sympathising with his situation, because when you live in an environment where you’re forced to either survive or get eaten—you choose survival, no matter what it takes to achieve it. He is a nasty piece of work, with his sharp edges, closed off emotionally and mentally. Slightly judgmental and extremely angry. At himself, at everything. His anger, however, doesn’t mutate like Shidou’s into violence on the field. Rin’s anger is thin, at times invisible. It seeps through the cracks and makes him bitter and sorrowful.

That said, when you come to terms with the fact that Sae has no idea on why Rin is so angry at him and the reason for his anger—passing off his attitude and words as simple “teenage angst” — makes me feel many ways, and none are positive. To me, it’s absurd seeing your little brother acting so hostile towards you, seeing the clear signs of anger and frustration but also sadness in him, and passing it off as “Rin is acting out.” How? Genuinely, how?

You see your brother on the verge of screaming at you on the football field, in front of thousands of people present and live during the U20 match, and what do you do? Further insult him? Girl— It’s the way Sae is not even trying to understand. You can think all you want that your brother is going through a phase, and maybe it’s just me, but if I see my younger sibling acting out, I’m going to talk to them. It doesn’t have to be an emotional confrontation per se, but a simple “what the hell is going on with you?” kind of thing. Letting them know that you’re there for them.

But, with the hypothetical scenario where the Itoshi brothers grew up in an emotionally neglectful house, it makes sense why Sae doesn’t even know how to approach Rin. Ultimately, however, the fact that Sae has no idea why his brother is “acting out,” why Rin is just so angry, makes the whole thing even sadder. Because while Rin took everything to heart and that anger, the delusion is slowly consuming him—Sae has no idea what’s going on. And if Rin finds out that Sae doesn’t even know/didn’t even notice, I think it would end even worse than it already is.

There, we will see his anger explode to unimaginable levels. Anger turning into self-destruction. Rin would truly become a shell of himself, unsure of what direction to take. Because how do you even begin to explain to your little brother that his anger, the way he was feeling, wasn’t even noticed or acknowledged by his older brother? How do you even begin to explain that Sae doesn’t even understand why Rin is reacting the way he is? Truth is, Sae is emotionally unavailable, and Rin is a ticking bomb ready to explode really soon.

© GLAMOURSCAT

[nadvs]

hii i love your writhing so so so so so much and i was wondering if you could do something a little angsty for basketball rafe at the end of there college days before rafe gets drafted and him and reader fight about ther future like reader is saying your gonna be able to do all this great stuff what am i supposed to do or smth like that 💕💕 ANYWAYS LOVE YOUR WRITTING!!

aw, thank you so much babe 🥹 i love writing about their college days!! i have a blurb here about how they handle him leaving but i haven’t written in detail how the first bad fight about it goes 👀

» au masterlist

when rafe gets the news that he’ll be drafted, she feels guilty for having a sense of worry gnawing at her. she should be overjoyed for her boyfriend, and while she is happy that his career is soaring to such an impressive height, she’s scared of what it means for them.

she still has a year left of college. he’s moving to a city that’s a three-hour flight away. she’s staying put, while his life is changing immensely. in a matter of two weeks, he’ll be gone and things will change.

it’s a cold night when they’re lying in his bed watching tv, the wind rattling the windows. rafe’s one-way flight is in a couple of days. almost everything’s already packed up, the bedroom nearly bare.

underneath the elation of making it professionally, rafe hates that the trade-in for following his dreams is leaving his girl. everyone and everything else will be easy to leave. but not her.

she’s been keeping her emotions under wraps. she feels wrong for hiding them from him, considering they’ve always prided themselves on having an honest relationship, but she doesn’t want to ruin such a big moment for him.

he’s leaning against the bed’s headboard while she rests on his chest. her mind is racing with worries that he’ll find something, or really someone, better than her. nearly six months together feels like a strong enough commitment, a solid enough foundation, but what if it’s not enough?

“what do you think long distance is gonna be like?” rafe mumbles.

they haven’t talked about it. not really. he knows they’re both dreading the conversation. for two people who started a relationship built on directness, they’re great at being in denial.

“i was just thinking about that,” she admits, still blankly staring ahead at the screen. “i don’t know. what do you think?”

rafe’s hand drags up and down her arm. two more days and everything changes. she won’t be a short drive away anymore. her touch, her smell, her everything won’t be accessible. she’ll be reduced to an image on a screen, a voice through a speaker.

“i’m freaked out,” he admits. he’s so afraid of losing her that it hurts. but she stiffens under his touch. she doesn’t agree like he expected.

“are you not confident that we’ll be able to handle it?” she asks.

her mind is a tangled mess. she’s nervous herself, but him being nervous doesn’t feel fair. he’s the one leaving. he’s the one starting a new life. nothing will be changing on her end. everything will be changing on his.

“it’s not that,” rafe says. “stuff will just be… different.”

“of course it will,” she says. she sits up to meet his gaze, her eyes already glossing with tears. “i’ll be stuck here and you’re…”

she shakes her head in frustration.

“what do you mean by freaked out?” she asks tersely.

“i mean that it’s weird that we’re not going to see each other all the time like we do now,” he states. “why are you pissed at me?”

she looks up to the ceiling, exhaling sharply. she hates it, how on edge she’s been, how she can’t just shut her worries up and feel happy for him and be sure they’ll make it.

“i’m not,” she sighs. it’s one of the things she really doesn’t like about her boyfriend. he senses the tiniest bit of frustration and he pulls at it like a string, trying to understand her but in the most pushy way.

“yeah, obviously,” he says sarcastically. her tone is so clearly irritated. what could he have possibly done wrong?

“it’s just that freaked out sounds like…” she begins. “like maybe you don’t think we’ll stay together.”

“when did i say that?” rafe scoffs, pulling his arm off of her.

her heart aches now that his touch is gone. this is how it’s always going to be when he leaves. he won’t be at an arm’s length anymore. he’ll be off in a big city, making money, meeting people more impressive than her, girls prettier than her.

rafe stares down at his lap, clenching his jaw. he doesn’t want to say anything he’ll regret. not when he’s leaving so soon. over the time they’ve been dating, he’s gotten a little better at reigning in his temper.

but this accusatory tone of hers, this implication that he doesn’t care to make this work, stings.

“for fuck’s sake,” he whispers sharply. “i don’t get why you’re mad at me.”

“i hate when you do this,” she says. “don’t say i’m mad when i’m not.”

“you can honestly say you’re not right now?” he meets her eyes. “really?”

she bites her lip. it’s so much more than mad. she’s scared. she’s insecure. she swallows the lump in her throat.

“your new life will be amazing. maybe you’re freaked out because you know you won’t want any part of your old life. including me.”

“wow,” he says with a humorless chuckle. “i…”

rafe trails into silence. he has a reputation for being a dick. he knows that. he’s fine with it. but hearing the girl he’s fallen in love with imply that he’d toss her to the side like that, like he’s heartless, is gut-wrenching.

“what?” she says.

“i can’t believe you,” he says. “i just wanted to talk to you. not get words put in my mouth and fucking fight about it.”

“you’re turning this into a fight, calling me pissed off when i’m not,” she counters.

for once, rafe doesn’t have a rebuttal. he always does. he always has his next words waiting in his throat during an argument, but this… this is too much. he started an innocent conversation about how he feels. and it turned into this.

“i don’t know what you want me to say,” he mutters.

a tear finally falls down her cheek. he hasn’t denied that he might not want her anymore. maybe her pessimism about any relationship working out for her isn’t totally misguided. right now, it feels like she’s looking at a man who simply doesn’t care.

and she told him that, plenty of times before, how sometimes she fears that a happy ending might just not be in the cards for her.

rafe stays silent as they sit on his bed. it eats away at her.

“if breaking up is inevitable, we might as well do it now,” she murmurs, partly out of spite, but mostly out of defeat.

rafe’s eyes dart up to meet hers again. the wound he thought she patched up, the one that convinced him over and over that she’ll leave him, rips open.

“were you ever really in this in the first place?” he accuses her, his face twisting in anger. “or did you always think i was gonna disappoint you like every other guy?”

she scoffs in disbelief. the string of tension that they’ve both been walking on since draft night has snapped.

he shouldn’t have said that. she shouldn’t have said what she said, either. but it’s too late. they’re both tense. they’re both too short-tempered.

“no. i’m sorry,” she says weakly. “i’m just… this is so hard. already. i’m worried about us.”

she rests her forehead on her hand, trying to rein in her rushing emotions. rafe’s stare softens as he watches her shoulders start to gently tremble with her cries.

“hey,” rafe says quietly, pushing past his pride, gripping the back of her hand. “come here.”

she lets him pull her forward, collapsing in his arms, her cheek against his firm chest.

“breaking up isn’t inevitable,” he murmurs. “i don’t want to hear you say stuff like that.”

“i know,” she whispers. “i know. just… promise me you won’t change your mind.”

“i promise, baby.” he kisses her forehead, meeting her eyes again.

they both know they need to talk about this. really talk about it, instead of snapping at each other and then brushing it away so quickly. but it hurts too much right now and they’d rather exist in a reality where they’re in the same town, able to see each other whenever they want.

the future still feels shaky to her, but she lets herself melt into his touch, hoping if she pretends she has no doubts, that they’ll eventually go away.

she cuddles into him again, silent, wishing time with him didn’t always go by so fast.

[gabessquishytum]

It’s been like. Five whole minutes since I’ve turned fun sex things into hurt/comfort. So. :)

human au, when Dream and Hob get together Hob thinks Dream has a run-of-the-mill oral fixation. He always seems to want to suck Hob’s cock, warm his cock In his mouth for ages, when they have sex he insists he wears some kind of gag.

The truth is though… it’s not that Dream doesn’t like those things, but that’s not why he does it. He’s just very insecure about any noise that could come out of his mouth.

People always tell him how awkward he is and that he can barely hold a normal conversation (he has no idea how he landed people-person, charismatic Hob) so he’s certain he’d fail at dirty talk. And his laugh is so ugly, surely any moans or noises he makes during sex would be equally awful. And of course, his worst nightmare is getting caught up in the moment and letting an “I love you” slip FAR too early in the relationship than is acceptable. There is simply no way anything good could come from his mouth (ever, but especially during sex) so he deals with it by keeping his mouth occupied.

I can’t decide how Hob figures it out- if he puts all the pieces together during sex or foreplay, or if it somehow comes out during a more domestic moment. Either way, he insists on ravishing Dream with his mouth free and uncovered so he can hear every lovely sound he makes (and prove that he loves his silly boyfriend no matter what).

-🦇

We love the hurt/comfort smut here!!!! Hell yeah!!!!

I have a certain idea about how Hob finds out about Dream’s whole complicated relationship with his own vocality. It all comes out when Dream, quite suddenly loses his voice altogether. He gets a little bout of laryngitis during flu season, and while he's not super sick, he also can't speak. He's reduced to texting and writing little notes while Hob fusses over him and makes him plenty of nice cups of tea.

During his illness, Dream is visited by his sibling Desire. Hob has never met them before, but honestly he's more focused on Dream than anything else. He has a vague notion that the two siblings don't exactly get on, however, and this becomes apparent when Desire makes a series of quips about what a relief it is to have Dream silenced. If only he would be quiet all the time! He's so much more bearable when he's not making any noise.

Hob clocks Dream’s face during this series of bad jokes and all he sees is... resignation. He realises that Dream believes Desire's cruel words. Everything starts to make sense.

After the laryngitis passes and bedroom activities are back on the menu, Hob cautiously broaches the fact that he really doesn't want Dream to be gagged this time. He doesn't want him to muffle his face in the pillow, either. He'd quite like to have some very boring and tender missionary sex, and he'd like to hear Dream’s voice and his noises the whole time.

Unfortunately for Dream he's in love, and he can't deny Hob anything, let alone something so sweet and pure. He's sure that Hob will be disgusted by his noises, but he agrees anyway. Maybe Hob will forgive him for being so loud, if he behaves himself well in other ways...

In reality Hob is the one making the most noise because he absolutely sobs his way through the sex. Hearing his sweet Dream's pleasure for the first time is so overwhelming and almost spiritual, he can't help but cry. There's a long way to go, but Hob is determined: he's going to make sure that Dream is never silenced again. Hob wants to hear everything that comes from his beloved's mouth - especially if its an "I love you!"

[sitepathos]

hey, I wanted to ask a couple of obvious or non-obvious things about the so-called "mold" because the very idea of it the first time I read it seemed very strange to me and I read it constantly interrupting myself to think whether it was really good or bad, BUT, the further it went, the more I started to like it terribly and as a result I had questions about this... thing.

Abilities and knowledge are good, but what about the other side of all this? Are there any side effects, so to speak? And what about weaknesses, both obvious and perhaps not obvious? Can this somehow greatly affect ordinary life? And if there are weaknesses and they can be used well in general, then could the BatFamily use them to their advantage?

(Sorry if it’s not coherent, I’m writing in a rush of questions and feelings...)

I’ve thought about doing a detailed report on how the Megamycete affects you, so thank you for asking this!

Powers

Mycokinesis: with the Megamycete in your body, you can call upon its mold from within and create weapons like tendrils and armor composed of hardened mold. You can also control the roots that are all around Gotham and use them however you see fit.

Quorum Sensing: the roots of the Megamycete have spread all throughout Gotham for over four-hundred years, serving as its eyes and ears. You can tap into the roots and see anywhere you wish just by thinking of it, even if you’re far from the city. This is also seen when you turned into a murder of crows; while you were composed of multiple birds, they shared a single consciousness and you were able to see from all their perspectives all at once.

Record Access: the Megamycete has absorbed countless corpses over the centuries, both man and beast, and assimilating their memories, knowledge, and even DNA into its archives. Thanks to this, you can call upon this living repository and use it as if it were your own. Because of this, you technically have the knowledge and qualifications for many kinds of occupations and diplomas that would take years to obtain.

Shapeshifting: thanks to the Megamycete bonding with you at the genetic level and its vase records, you can call change into any form you desire, be it a bird, a beast, or a long-dead human (and you have even assume their voice if you desire). You can also make modifications to your real body, such as making a pair of functioning wings without assuming a bird form.

Regeneration: thanks to the Megamycete’s mold, you can heal from even the most serious wounds, such as gunshot wounds. You can lose a limb and you can just stick it back on your body and you’ll be as good as new (or just grow another one if the old limb can’t be recovered).

Superhuman Stamina: as stated in Chapter 6, the Megamycete gives you incredible stamina, reducing your need for food or rest (though you can still feel mentally fatigued as stated in Chapter 4). You still consume food and sleep because you actually enjoy these, but they don’t sustain you like they did before. The Megamycete’s all you need.

Superhuman Strength: the Megamycete makes you far stronger than you ever were before and gives you more strength than any normal human could ever have. Don’t misunderstand, you’re not Superman, but you could throw Bane around like a rag doll.

Benefits

In conclusion, the Megamycete makes you far faster, stronger, and smarter than any normal human.

Weaknesses

Unsurprisingly, the Megamycete’s mold has a vulnerability to fire. If we go by video game logic, it makes sense that a “plant-type” monster like the Megamycete could easily be hurt by.

Following the same video game logic, the Megamycete’s also vulnerable to the cold. Mold (normal, non-sentient mold) can still be found in cold environments, but it becomes dormant in freezing temperatures. While the Megamycete is more powerful than regular mold, it went into a kind of hibernation when it still resided in Gotham as it gets very cold in winter.

And while this is a bit of a spoiler, the Megamycete can be vulnerable to forms of toxins/poisons. While it can metabolize any hazardous substances and survive, if a specially designed toxin is designed to target its strain of mold, it could pose a very serious risk to the Megamycete. But, it would require special equipment, extensive knowledge in mycology and toxicology, and lots of money. Know anyone that fits that description?

[drabblesandimagines]

Moon Cycles

Pointless Halsin fluff, afab reader - mentions of period

You wake alone, which is not unusual, but there is a dull, somewhat unfamiliar ache in your stomach, encompassing your pelvis.

It had been many months since your last moon cycle, just before you’d been kidnapped and a tadpole had slithered through your eye. You had been concerned you’d been with child – nightmares of a half mindflayer baby erupting from your stomach – but no such thing had come to pass. You’d confessed to Halsin one night and he’d assured you in times of high stress that it was not unheard of for moon cycles to pause, until your body settled back into a natural rhythm of things.

Now, as you recall how generally awful they made you feel, you wonder why you’d ever worried about their absence.

You turn and nuzzle your head into your partner’s pillow, closing your eyes and inhaling his lingering scent, trying to imagine he’s still there.

Halsin is an early riser, up often before dawn itself. He likes to start off each day with a patrol around the perimeter in his wildshaped bear to make sure it remains safe and secure for his community. You used to wake as soon as his arm released its hold on your waist, a mumbled protest before warm lips pressed against your forehead in a kiss.

“Rest, sweet one.”

He’d tuck the furs back up around your shoulders, smoothing a large palm over your hair back and forth until you settled and you’d soon sink back into slumber, despite how often you promised yourself that today was going to be the day you joined him on his duty. It had been a while now since you’d woke at his departure, but the way you woke up every morning with the furs tucked just so, you knew he still made sure you were warm and content before he left.

His absence this morning gnaws at you more than any other - a stupidly desperate need for comfort as the ache worsens. You, the hero, the savior of Baldur’s Gate reduced to sulking in your bedroll over your moon cycle.

Despite how much you want to remain curled up, the children’s voices grow louder and louder from outside your hut. They too are early risers, though know to wait until the sun is at least risen in the sky. You wince as you get to your feet, the pain seeming to grow worse the more awake you become.

But there are hungry mouths to feed.

With a resigned sigh, you force yourself to wash your face and dress and feel guilty for the smile you plaster on as you retreat from your hut to be greeted by a chorus of orphans.

--

It was an accident.

Yenna and a couple of the other children had been chasing one another – a lovely sight to see after all the atrocities they’d witnessed, of course – but they’d grown a little too rambunctious, not looking where they were going, too consumed in their game. The large pot of porridge you’d made now lay on its side, dropping it when Yenna had crashed into your side at speed.

“I’m so sorry,” she mumbles, looking truly horrified as you stared at the split porridge. You should say something – anything – to console her, but no words come.

You cut her off with a sob as you drop to your knees, overwhelmed. You can’t do this.

“I can make more! I promise I can,” Yenna blurts out, trying to heave the pot back upright. Little fingers begin to prod at you, demanding what’s wrong as you bury your head into your knees.

“By Silvanus, what’s happened here?” Halsin’s voice booms as he enters the clearing, taking in the scene before him. The children’s attention is diverted towards him immediately, all scrambling towards him.

“Yenna bumped into Mama and she dropped the porridge pot!”

“Is anyone hurt?”

A young tiefling girl tugs at his tunic. “Daddy Halsin, Mama is crying.”

“Mama is…” Halsin’s voice drifts off as he searches for you, finding you curled up in on yourself – a most unwelcome sight. He hurries over to you at once, dropping to his knee and laying a hand on your arm cautiously, scanning you over.

“Are you injured, my heart?”

You lift your head, tears streaming down your face, shaking it frantically. “N-no, I just… I-”

“Oh, sweetheart.” He wraps you up in his arms at once, pulling you flush against his chest as he feels your body tremble and brings you up to your feet. “Tasha, please will you go fetch Art and a few other of the adults?”

Tasha nods, hurrying off in the direction of the other huts before Halsin steps the two of you in the direction of your own. “I will be with you in just a moment, darling. Go lay down.”

You nod again, trying to wipe the tears from your cheeks with the heel of your hand as you quickly scurry back into your sanctuary, making for the bedroll at once.

Halsin turns to settle the rest of the waiting children, all unsure as to what they have just witnessed. “Now, then, I see some fine fruits and honey laid out that will satisfy any rumbling tummies until a new batch of porridge is ready, hm?”

“I’m so sorry,” Yenna apologises again, mortified. “I didn’t look where I was going and I didn’t mean to make her trip.”

Halsin crouches down to face her as a handful of children begin to help themselves to the sundries on the table. “It is all right, Yenna. Those tears are not for split porridge, I am certain.”

--

Your tears have dwindled to soft hiccups as you lay on your side, knees tucked up into your chest when the door opens and quietly shuts once more. Halsin is quick to lay behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing a long kiss to your crown before he speaks.

“Your moon cycle has returned.”

You twist in his arms, wanting to see his face. “How did you know?”

He smiles, sheepishly. “Truthfully, I could smell something different about you when I rose this morning. I should’ve stayed.”

“It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“I would’ve insisted you stay in bed whilst I brewed you a tea to relieve the pain. I was ambitious, thinking I could complete my patrol and return before you woke.”

“Stop blaming yourself. I am the one who sobbed over split porridge. Poor Yenna.”

“Yenna is fine, my heart. In fact, she is making a new batch as we speak, aided by Art.” He begins to rub a circle with his palm on your lower back.

“I feel such a fool.”

“That is one thing you can never be.” Halsin presses a kiss upon your forehead as you begin to relax in his embrace. “Allow me to prepare a warm compress and the tea, and then I shall dote on you for however long.”

“We do not have time to be doted or doting on one another-”

“We do – I insist upon it.” His tone is firm – reminiscent of his Archdruid days. “Yenna is quite keen to take over cooking responsibilities the rest of the day. Enid is going to take the younger ones down to harvest the vegetable patches. The camp will survive without us.”

You wince as a cramp starts, digging your nails into his arm.

“I cannot bear to see an ounce of pain across your brow, my heart. I must go prepare that tea.”

You’re reluctant to let go, feeling pathetic as you pout. “And then more cuddles?”

Halsin leans down and presses a long, gentle kiss on your lips. “With the Oak Father as my witness, the cuddles will be endless.”

--

I am sad and I'd just like some Halsin cuddles, please hence... whatever this is.

Masterlist . Requests welcome . Ko-fi

[yuikomorii]

// I’m making this post, as a result of seeing way too much hate and misinfo regarding every character. Nobody stops anyone from voicing their opinion but the need to degrade a character, while providing BAD reasons or stating incorrect/out-of-context facts about them only for the sake of internet validation, is such a loser move.

We’re all in this fandom to have fun and even if you have something negative to say about a character you don’t like, keep it to yourself or in private with your friends.

Ayato:

“I don’t like Ayato, he’s overrated”, omg you’re just sooo different! Definitely not like other girls/guys!

Everyone is allowed to dislike whatever they want but if Ayato is your least/one of your least favorite DL characters, then your opinion ISN’T valid. This is a franchise full of abusive characters and he’s literally the most heroic love interest. Why would you hate the hero…?

“He’s dumb and annoying”, says the person who spends their time insulting FICTIONAL characters. 1) Japanese fans like dumb characters, since they come off as endearing; 2) Ayato outdid everyone throughout the routes.

He did more good than all of his brothers and saying that X, Y or Z deserves the main role more, is fake fan behavior because at this point you’re just setting up your favs.

Kanato:

No, you’re not cool for calling him ugly. It’s okay if you’re not into that type of characters but his design is not bad at all.

“He had no development”, he does in CL. It’s not major but it can still be visible.

The whole Teddy thing might be annoying to some of you, but his fans get why he acts that way. Let’s not forget that he is a victim of neglect.

Yes, he was sexually exploited too. Don’t forget this x2.

Laito:

“I hate Laito so much, he was so cruel in HDB 😢”; stop living in the past and move on already.

His development shouldn’t be overlooked only because your opinion about him was formed on something that came out more than 10 years ago.

He’s still the most fascinating DL character and I get that he might make some of you feel uncomfortable but don’t project your triggers on a character that’s merely made after a trope.

Shu:

No, it’s not Shu’s fault for the way Reiji acted. Envy is never a good reason to hurt someone.

“Shu roasts the heroine the most!”, I get that it’s rude but his insults are actually funny?? A bunch of people will like him for being brutally honest or a jerk because it’s literally a game for players with masochistic fantasies. They WANT to be roasted by good-looking men. That’s the point.

“Shu is lazy and stupid, he’s the only one who failed his school year”, genuine question: If you were an immortal creature that doesn’t need food or sleep to survive, would you still care about grades? Besides, he’s really smart.

“Shu doesn’t care about Yuma, he just feels guilty”, in LE he sacrificed himself for him and reincarnated merely because he wished to meet Yuma again and get on well with him in another life—

Reiji:

“He hurt Shu and Yuma”, well yeah but he was shown plenty of times regretting it and trying to fix things. Stop reminding this to Reiji stans because that conflict is already closed.

“He is so mean in other routes”, obviously?? If you don’t teach him how to love, he won’t suddenly act nice towards anyone.

Without him Yui would fail her tests and the Sakamaki household would be in chaos.

Subaru:

“W-What do you mean baby Tsundere is not soft innocent virgin boy? 🥺”; he has never been like that, that’s how YOU perceived him. Stop acting so shocked every time Subaru does something bad because he’s still a vampire after all??

Also, why are so many people reducing his character to Kou and/or Yui—? He’s much more than that and has his own interests, struggles, likes, dislikes, and so on.

“He’s irrelevant”; Diabolik Lovers has 13 love interests, they can’t make everyone extremely important to the general plot. Just enjoy a character as it is, it’s not that hard.

Ruki:

The cat jokes were funny when the Meow Meow Vampire art came out but MOVE ON. I hate that scene and Ruki was in the wrong but come on now, that’s not even the worst thing he has done and MB happened in 2013.

I understand not liking Ruki as a person, because he’s mostly not a good one, but this doesn’t mean he’s not a good character.

“Ruki deserved what happened to him in the past because he was cruel towards everyone”; while I agree that Karma hit him, I wouldn’t say any child really deserves to go through that. He was just a spoiled brat, who most likely wasn’t taught by his parents about modesty or kindness.

Kou:

“He was so cruel in MB 😣”, and HE HAD DEVELOPMENT! He’s not the same anymore, nobody is.

“He overreacts”, sometimes he’s not in the wrong and has all rights to be angry.

Kou isn’t afraid of going against Ruki, even if he’s the brother he admires the most, as long as he knows that what Ruki is doing isn’t good.

Yuma:

“He beat Yui up in the MB bad ending!😡😡”, it’s a bad ending for a reason, lol.

Pretty reminder that Yuma always tries to help others with Kou and Azusa, and was even willing to save the ghouls in LE.

“Yuma doesn’t care about Shu”, did we play the same game or…?

Azusa:

“Azusa is so horrible, he threw Teddy in the fire!”; and he only did it to save Yui, it was not intentional.

While not all his actions are good, keep in mind that he never means any harm and is overall such a sweet guy.

“He is too clingy”; I know that might not be everyone’s cup of tea but is it really worth hating a character just for wanting affection?

The Tsukinamis and Kino:

“They were too easy to defeat in DF!”; Dark Fate wasn’t entirely about them to begin with. Most routes focused on the boys’ internal struggles with their trauma and how to move past it.

“Kino is sometimes mean for the sake of being mean”; it’s almost as if he’s the ✨villain✨

It’s dumb questioning the morals of characters supposed to have an antagonistic role.

“Kino hurt Ayato in LE”; out of all characters who have wronged Ayato, at least Kino felt bad and wanted to apologize.

Yui:

“She’s dumb and ugly”; Japanese fans literally love her for being an idiot because it wouldn’t be fun to see the heroine being the best at everything or not making mistakes at all. Plus, her design is definitely not ugly.

Stop creating your own version of Yui in your head and ending up disappointed when she doesn’t act the way you expect her to. No, Yui is not OOC for liking being bitten, having a low learning ability or saying things she shouldn’t in the wrong moments. Nobody is perfect and everyone has their own kinks and flaws.

“She’s too innocent”; she’s not?? If you really want to see her thirsty, go play Ayato’s routes, especially the heaven scenarios.

“She’s weak”, she’s the opposite. Yui is one of the most mentally strong DL characters.

I can’t understand people who hate on heroines when they’re present in all routes and are the most positive characters.

[yaksha-lover]

Track #2: Sunlight - Hozier Drabble Masterlist

Azul Ashengrotto x Reader

Summary: Azul treats everyone as a business arrangement. He thought it would be the same with you, until he realizes he’d much rather have you than your resources.

i. all the tales the same

An octopus has three hearts - that’s the explanation Azul’s mother would always give when he’d come home crying as a child. It was comforting, to explain away his sensitivity in a single phrase. You have to be more careful with yours, Azul, she’d say, rubbing his back. There’s more of you to break.

He understood what she meant far too well. Every tease, every taunt, every comment muttered behind his back (and most of the time to his face) was far too much for him to bear. They were only children, but so was he. Is it any wonder he’d stopped seeing people as more than transactional when all they’d seen him as was a joke?

If he didn’t care for them, if they were reduced to nothing but an inky signature, how could their words hurt him? They were nothing.

He thought you’d be nothing too.

You started off like most ‘relationships’ in his life; a business transaction. At least, that’s how he’d thought of you.

You, who was so blissfully kind and innocent, doe-eyed and naive, thought of him as a friend, and then eventually, more.

To him, you were easy prey. It would be simple to gain your friendship, your trust, maybe even your heart if he was so lucky. Then, it would be oh so simple to gain access to all that you could do for him.

ii. told before and told again

The plan requires more commitment than he’d realized, but he knows it will be worth it in the end. You, the sole heir of your father’s estate, will be in a position to let Azul gain access to a brand new market he’s been looking to expand into. If he has to play friend, he’s willing to do it.

You’re…lonelier than he expects. Azul isn’t exactly a social butterfly himself (at least, for non-business related reasons), but your eagerness to spend time with him certainly stems from more than just his ‘great companionship.’ He almost feels bad, for a moment, to lead you on, but he steels himself with the justification of his success.

You won’t mind, right? He gets your help, you get his friendship, even if it is manufactured. It’s an equal trade, he tells himself.

Spending all this time together, he learns things about you. Things that are disconcerting.

Azul hasn’t had trouble sleeping since he was a child. Everything he did was perfectly scheduled; how was he to function if not by keeping up a meticulous sleep cycle which guaranteed him a satisfying eight hours of rest per night?

He thinks you’re the reason he’s started lying awake. He can’t stop thinking about the things you’ve told him - maybe ‘let slip’ is the better term.

He’s used to coaxing information out of his clients; it’s good for business. Now he only wishes he wasn’t so good.

They aren’t so much secrets; it’s not as though you’ve made a great effort to hide them, only that no one has made an effort to look in the first place.

He’s played the dutiful friend long enough to know how…pitiful you can become after a night out or a hard day. He’s been there to take care of you, always making sure you get home safe or that you’re well fed. You’re a poor, unfortunate sight; you’re lucky it’s only Azul taking advantage of your resources and not someone much worse. His stomach churns at the thought of it - that’s one of the many things that keeps him up. It’s not that he’s worried; no, no, you were only a business arrangement of his. If anything were to happen to you, his whole plan could go to ruin.

That’s why he stays the night in your apartment, sleeping on the couch so he can check on you despite the fact that the commute will make him late for work and his back will hurt all day from the lumpy sofa. That’s why he can’t sleep, forced to make sure you’re sleeping soundly every few hours.

You’ll apologize in the morning for being a mess; you always do. The two of you put on a charade of sorts - you promise it won’t happen again, that you’re sorry for forcing him to take care of you (although you’d never asked a thing from him) and he pretends that none of it matters, that it’s not a big deal.

It’s only for the sake of business when he asks you to spend more time with him; if you’re not with your undesirable friends (who only get you into trouble, he thinks) then you (and his deal) will be safe. It’s certainly not because the last time he’d come to check on you, you’d had light bruises peppering your neck, almost as if someone had nipped at your skin gently and-

Azul perishes the thought from his mind. So what if he hasn’t won your heart? That’s not his goal, he doesn’t need your love to get your help, he’ll just-

iii. a soul that’s born in cold and rain

You kiss him, one night. You’re at his apartment, and it’s been a peaceful evening. He’d invited you over for dinner, cooking you one of the most recent dishes he’d been testing for his restaurant chain. The two of you had settled into his sofa, a movie playing in the background.

He noticed you hadn’t been paying attention; he was watching the screen, but you kept sneaking (not so subtle) glances at him every few seconds, putting him on edge. He turned to you, about to ask what was wrong, when you kissed him.

Your lips brush against his lightly; he almost wonders if he’d fallen asleep and was only dreaming the whole thing. He’d only just closed his eyes when he felt you pull away and begin to apologize for kissing him without asking. He can’t even form a response, only pulling you in to continue what you’d started.

Things only seem to spiral from there. Azul is, admittedly, a sensitive soul, perhaps too sentimental for his own good. He’d vowed to be utilitarian about his relationships; to view everyone only per their use value, and thus to never have to care. Caring, for him, typically meant getting hurt in some way, but he can’t quite help himself with you.

Your affection feels good. Your love is addicting. He refuses to let either of them go, thoughts of business and markets pushed to the furthest place in his mind.

It’s only natural, then, that the two of you quickly become closer than ever before. A toothbrush at his apartment quickly becomes you moving in; he’s a busy man, after all. What better way to see more of each other than living together (you practically spent all your time with him, anyway).

If you depend on him, that’s okay. That’s how it’s always been with the two of you, hasn’t it? He takes care of you, he always has.

iv. knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight

He’s drifting off to sleep with you in his arms when he hears you speak.

“Azul?”

“Yes, darling?”

“I’m sorry.”

That makes him open his eyes. He moves to turn on the lamp, but you stop him. “Sorry? For what?”

“For taking advantage of you.”

That almost makes him laugh. “Pardon? I don’t seem to recall such a thing happening.”

“I know, Azul. You…you don’t need to pretend that you like me. I know you just want access to my father’s contacts. I knew since the beginning and I should’ve put a stop to it. I’m so, so sorry I just - you were so kind to me, and I couldn’t help but bask in your sunlight a little. But it’s gone too far. Look at us. You never should’ve had to become so close with me, it was wrong for me to hold on. For that, I’m sorry. There’s no need for us to continue this charade, I’ll give you the contacts you want. And…and I’ll be sure to get out of your life…”

Azul is silent for a moment, before he can’t hold back his chuckle any longer. He tries to contain himself once he sees the tears begin to pool in your eyes. You start to pull away, but he pulls you close with one arm, wiping away your tears with the other.

“Oh dear, you’re truly serious! You’re laying in my bed, in my arms, and you think you’re taking advantage of me? You thought I only wanted you for your resources and yet you feel sorry? I suppose your tender heart and naïveté are endearing, but it won’t do for you to be so vulnerable, my love. It’s a good thing I love you so much, any less and I might truly be tempted to take advantage of such a poor soul like yours~”

You look at him in confusion. “You mean it…but how can I trust you, Azul?”

His arms move to slip around your waist, pulling you in close to him. You can feel the heat of his smooth skin move against your body, the warmth of his breath on you face.

“How indeed, my love? I suppose I’ll have to show you, then. Actions speak louder than words, after all.”

With that, Azul lifts himself off the bed, drawing you under him and capturing your lips once again.