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dangermousie · 3 years ago

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CFC Chapter 54

“A crashing car?” Ahahahaha I see you, Meatbun. But it was indeed an utter pileup!

I know I commented on this passage in its various iterations eight billion times already but I still have more to say. And it’s that XQC taking so long to realize that even though HY is young, his emotions and feelings are as genuine and strong as those of anyone older is so realistic - people do tend to think that especially with regard to children - think of a reaction of an adult to a three year old crying over ice cream they dropped. It’s all amused even if not meanly so. Because to an adult with vastly more experience, this is not a big deal. But what that forgets is that whether it’s ridiculous to someone else or not, to the person at issue that is a real feeling, AND that of course a person can only feel through the lens of their experience - what else is there? Emotions aren’t any less valid because they are informed by lesser or different experience.

Honestly, to me so far this is one of the driving messages of the novel - everyone is in their own world of issues and pain and none of these characters can truly look through the lens of another person and it would be so much better if they did. To XQC, for so long, He Yu’s strong feelings (and we know so many of these feelings are awful - despair, and self-loathing, and loneliness) never quite felt real and therefore never quite felt fully valid. And by the time it wasn’t the case, it was too late.

But the same is true for He Yu - he is so concentrated on his own grievances and his own pain, he cannot perceive others’ different issues. In He Yu’s mind, he’s the winner and always champion of Misery Olympics and while he’s had a horrible time of it, that doesn’t mean other people didn’t either just in different ways. Whether because of his condition, his issues or just his age, HY is not empathetic in the least.

And think about it - XQC does not have a horrible illness. He does not have unfeeling parents. But he had to watch his beloved parents brutally murdered in front of his eyes at 13 (!!!!) and then had to raise a 5 year old by himself. Is it worse or better than HY’s trauma? That’s a matter of opinion but what there is no question about is that is a different type of trauma and a different type of scar. Or think about the patient in the asylum whose name I am too lazy to look up - her life is such a theater of horrors that to me, it makes the combined issues of HY and XQC seem small, though once again that’s subjective. Nobody wins when people start this sort of competition.

My heart breaks for XQC but also - I am sorry - if/when HY x XQC hook up again (how? I have no idea! But that is one of the joys of Meatbun - I both have no idea how/where it’s going and utterly trust her), please have He Yu read up and learn things because Good God. You should not be in major pain the morning after unless you are into pain and XQC clearly is not!

The other thing is the bit about XQC forcing himself to walk in his usual ramrod-straight manner is the moment I went utterly gone for him. I mean, I liked him and found him interesting before. But this is the thing that flipped that invisible switch for me and I went rabid and irrational and now I am Team XQC and I don’t care what he wants and does from now on, he should have it. It’s so small but so real. My mother and her mother were both big on straight posture. And one of the reasons they gave was when you walk with good posture - you look confident but also it makes you feel confident and stronger. And I’ve actually found it to be true - when you throw your shoulders back and straighten your neck and hold your head up, it does not just give others a signal, it gives a signal to your own brain. So to see XQC insist on doing it, despite being emotionally and physically shattered - because of his pride refusing to give up, because he’s so unbending, but also this being some sort of instinctive armor, just hits straight through the heart.

OK, I laughed at HY as a fucking machine. But also, this is another point in the whole “everyone has issues” narrative and HY’s life could be worse. HY, with all his other issues, can pay an insane amount, an amount that XQC could not pay in a million years, so easily. It’s not even a blip to him. Hell, the fact that he forgot to pay speaks to that - I can see forgetting to pay a friend a couple of bucks back right away because it’s not much money. HY forgets because it does not loom in his mind. And this rich lifestyle is instinctive, is ingrained in him. I think he’d find it hard to be poor.

THAT is what he’s thinking about? Priorities are...

The sole good thing that came out of this insanity is that XQC is getting in touch with his emotions, even if those emotions are (rightly) rage. He’s too closed off from them normally.

The fact that you slept with a man should be secondary to the fact that you drugged and raped him, but here we are...

To me, this sums up He Yu as a moral wasteland. To still, when sober and past his fit and not under influence of wine, to still feel excitement over his revenge and to somehow twist it that it’s XQC’s fault for being raped by He Yu is !!!!!!!!!

(I suppose if I were charitable, I’d assume that the disquiet is small stirrings of almost dead conscience and his “he deserved it” is an attempt to justify the unjustifiable to himself, but I honestly don’t want to think so because I am so angry at him. Not until I see some more evidence. I don’t feel like being indulgent with He Yu since he’s indulgent with himself enough for two.)

1. The fact that you can tell from the picture XQC got taken by a man (I am gonna defer to Meatbun’s expertise here) definitely points to the fact that the pictures are going to be used for something bad later - because if it’s just oh XQC had sex, so what, he’s single what’s the big deal. But like this it becomes a different matter. No idea if it will be used for HY or XQC or both, and by whom (money is on Duan and co, but after the way HY went off, I would never say HY himself won’t use it badly somehow) but knowing Meatbun, it will go for maximum damage.

2. Ruthless? Perhaps. Unfeeling? Hmmmm. I am not He Yu’s biggest fan atm but that’s a wonderfully misleading adjective here. He does still seem to be in shock. And fixating.

3. The whole “hahahaha XQC is a hypocrite when he was all ‘I am not interested in sex’“ is - I am not sure if HY is just short-circuiting (fine) or using a rapist justification/rolling in a sea of toxic toxicity (not fine) because I am sorry, that’s totally like “he/she had a reaction, can’t be rape” writ large. Yeah, sure he had a reaction - you poured drugs down his throat. That has nothing to do with his default preferences or his actual state. THE FUCK?!

Anyway, we end on the whole “u mad bro?” bit and you know what strikes me? HY was all “I am done, we are done, my revenge is complete I don’t care” but here he is, still desperately seeking and craving reaction and interaction from XQC.

I remain utterly puzzled as to how these two will ever be a couple except for a couple being defined as “two mutually homicidal people.” Leaving aside everything else, I am willing to accept HY is in the closet - clearly whatever his orientation is, it includes men. But I do not get that sense from XQC at all. When he’s not drugged, he’s barely interested in sex with anyone and I do not get the sense he’s in the closet either. Chances of anyone, let alone He Yu, who is both a man and someone who raped him to humiliate him, being able to entice him into sexual encounters voluntarily is about the chance of me going to visit Mars. Meatbun loves doing insane things so I can’t wait.

PS I know people use the term psychopath all the time casually but ummm, I think He Yu may actually be one? When he has his father (!!!) on speakerphone, calmly carrying a conversation with the man as he’s raping his father’s friend in the club as he talks (!!!!!) that is...in RL I’d be “team lock him up for life, there is something so basic broken in him that it can’t be fixed.” Like - the hell? The ability to put things on different shelves so much is not in the same country as sane (it makes me think of 2ha and TXJ banging CWN being the curtain while performing court business but TXJ was bona fide clinically insane and also this is worse because this is his actual freaking father omg.) Of course, only time will tell whether it’s evidence of him being irreparably incapable of normalcy in terms of living in the world/interacting with others or it was an extreme psychotic (in casual parlance not medical one) break because most people are capable of truly horrific stuff if certain levers are pushed and his default is saner. It’s the question, isn’t it? Whether He Yu’s factory default setting is the monster of the previous chapters or the kid who’d cut his wrists so as not to hurt others.

Anyway, this novel is a terrifying roller coaster ride and I love having strong emotions.

#cnovel #meatbun doesn't eat meat #case file compendium

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steve0discusses · 3 years ago

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Yugioh S5 Ep 19: Yugi and the Only Neck Accessory He Didn’t Really Want to Wear

Been busy! Hopefully stuff will open up soon as I’m taking a hiatus on a different quarantine project and will be finishing painting the entire roof of my car this week? One can hope. Sanding the rust off the whole top of a car takes a long time it turns out?

Also, fun Yugioh fact, I recently painted a book cover for an author who is older so she’s never seen the show, and she looked at my tumblr, saw my Duke Devlin fanart and was like “That’s him. That’s my main character. OMG. You captured him perfectly!” and I was like “Ma’am that is Duke Devlin, hence the single dice earring on his lobes there, but we can work with this.” and now a spiritual Duke Devlin is on the cover of a Wuxia-style fantasy trilogy on the Vella. Had to give him a top knot and delete the eyeliner for Wuxia reasons but uh, that’s just Duke.

So long story short, fanart can get you work, don’t even worry about posting that stuff online because most people don’t even know it’s fanart anyway and older ladies freakin love it.

Back in Yugioh, the team was doing their best to navigate a map through the woods and they do about as well as they normally do.

And inside Tristan lifted up the floorboards and was like “I found the only way out, this is it, this is the only way.”

And they ended up in something that has a color scheme I would actually associate with a jungle. Finally. We have finally left California (in order to go to another Hell.)

Youknow, when we went to California, we visited Hell, and when we went to India, we also took a stop at the nearest death destination. There’s just so much death on this show and sometimes I forget because there’s been a ghost in our party for so freakin long it’s been normalized.

(read more death imagery under the cut)

Joey freaks out at a flock of crows and reveals in this episode something I never realized about him before.

Like I’m not always the perfect observer as I’m sure you’ve noticed, but I love that this is canon for probably only this episode, but I will never forget it for the entirety of this series.

You go on hating birds, Joey.

Bro was like “Maybe it’s a deep cut about Mai Valentine because she’s a harpy lady” but eh...pretty sure we spent like an entire season of Joey telling us that Mai was a good experience? Would be incredibly funny if immediately after all of S4, Joey was like “You know what? Screw Mai, guys.”

So my thoughts...it’s probably just a literal bird experience. Like I had a friend who hated deer because once she went to a petting zoo, got some pellets to feed the deer, but her finger was sticking up, so when the deer came over to nibble on some pellets her finger went up it’s nose by accident. She was so disgusted by this event that was entirely her fault, that she brought up how much she hated deer basically whenever we saw one.

So like...maybe Joey fed a bird wrong at a petting zoo. I can see him getting bit by a parrot because he was too Joey Wheeler.

But now that we’re in a graveyard neighborhood, Pharaoh decides to hop out because there’s a lot of ghosts here and he needs to practice socializing with his peers.

So that’s just a Yugioh monster doing the ostrich dance, right? Like this is a meme from like 2010 but on Yugioh in 2003(4?)

Good to see the Ostrich dance here in the land before Vine.

So they pull out their Pokemon to do some antics, Tea looked like she was about to do something useful, and Yami does a yump across time and space to get her as far away from playing (not)cards as quickly as possible and y’all...sure was a position these animators animated.

Holy crap.

And I was going off about that scene last season where they woke up in the same bed like...

...have these two been together this entire time? Like together together?

They’re like...way more comfortable than you’d figure they’d be considering Yugi nearly passes out every time he gets a hug. But Yami just like....How long has this been going on? As long as Joey’s fear of birds?

Like obviously this show would never cover what the hell Yugi may be thinking about this overreaching move here, because we’re gonna gloss right over that, and just run away up a flight of stairs. No one mentions this ever again. Which is mind blowing for an anime to do. I think in most anime I watch, the kids would be like “ahh ahhhh I bumped into a booooob!” like it does for I want to say every other episode of My Hero Academia. But in Yugioh, they saw that low hanging fruit and they were like “we expect a higher level of maturity out of our audience. Now here’s a fleet of ostrich dancing tree monsters with faces for crotches.”

They decided to sprint up this flight of stairs, and it enough of a slope to deter the monsters who are only unbalanced weird legs.

I want us to take a moment and admire this background painting. I can’t unsee the rocks that are all the same size, just piled on top of eachother. Did Alexander the Great just plop rocks here--or was the mountain made up of tons of similarly shaped boulders?

Like there’s a lot of nice bg’s in this arc, don’t get me wrong, but this one...I’m just trying to wrap my head around the logic of it.

At the top, they meet a pantheon, that is immediately blocked by this wall, because if this arc had a tagline, it’s “Yugi gets inconvenienced every 4 seconds.”

Bro was like “Clearly they would have pushed it over if Tea wasn’t slacking off” and like...she is actually. Look at her. Only used one hand? Slacker.

Joey was disappointed he couldn’t push over a massive wall, and the team decided not to analyze how much Joey Wheeler thinks of his own strength and instead fixate on these statues.

Usually in anthro characters they kinda look birdlike but act human. But what about an anthro that’s just a bird? Like human torso, but can turn his head 180 degrees? Yugioh made me ask this question.

And then Joey was like “wait, there may be a solution that isn’t just to use brute strength!”

Youknow it is a bummer that Kaiba couldn’t witness Joey own a dragon while he himself only has a robot jet dragon. Although, the jet is probably faster, stronger and overall...better than this baby dragon. It would have been great for Kaiba to witness Joey under-utilize this dragon and forget he has it for like huge swatches of the episode.

And then Grandpa pulled some body horror out of nowhere.

Wow.

I mean that is really gross.

I guess Grandpa can’t use Blue eyes, because Kaiba ripped it up, Grandpa can’t use Exodia because Weevil tossed it off a boat, and grandpa can’t use the card that’s just a building because...it’s a building.

So instead Grandpa has a bunch of meat and bones that look like something out of Doom. It’s probably from a more obscure Konami property, but I forget which.

I’ve seen Tristan hold back Joey in this hold, first time it’s been Tea.

So much shipping in this episode, it’s wild.

It’s also wild how low my standards are for what could possibly be shipping when it comes to Yugioh because of how freakin tepid all of these characters are, which as I’ve brought up before, I really don’t mind.

So Yugi decides that because Grandpa was folding his arms like one monster and it made a gem light up or something, to just do the video game thing and use the giant ass statues as clues.

Why was this arc not a video game? Like parts of it really feel like it was meant to be.

So Yugi falls down a hole, where the walls cave in like it’s that dumpster in Star Wars but like...it barely phases him.

Also...Yugi might be able to see in the dark. It’s never been brought up but like...the more I think about it...has Yugi ever struggled to see without the lights on?

After Joey disappoints everyone, he confronts death.

And Pharaoh and Yugi decide to solve the puzzle of “how do I get out of this trap dungeon room” which, honestly, is probably what they’re doing every time they hang out in the brain pyramid.

So they summon their mascot monster, and surprisingly the show decided its ability to fly cannot help them out here.

Kuriboh manages to become enough of a doormat to push Yami up to the stone and they end up in a set of weird cuts that ended in this?

Like seriously it was like flashes of light and then they were just...up here like this.

Hey like...

Alexander the Great, my man...

Were you planning to put that stone in the middle of a exhaust vent hoping someone would touch it? Because there’s no way anyone would rationally have done that. You would need to fly to do it. This is the world’s worst DM.

Like Yugioh pulls a lot of fantasy nonsense but this arc is a lot more like a “it’s a kid’s show, just go with it.” arc than most of them. It’s not a bad vibe, necessarily, it’s just not the vibe I’m used to.

So once I witnessed maybe the most boring conversation I’ve ever witnessed about corn (this was on a twitch stream, by the way, a guy was playing an interesting game, and then a guest came on and started talking about corn and plants for 2 hours) and they would not shut up about how all taxonomy is wrong because there are no such thing as trees and how all animals are labelled incorrectly, and then they started comparing it to like all sorts of mushrooms and phytoplankton as you would if you clearly got a little bit high before dumping your corn knowledge on a twitch stream.

Anyway, after that bizarre experience I suffered so I could learn how to play an obscure video game, I think I can safely say, that while I know everyone here thinks a bird can’t be a dog. If you’re a high biologist: a bird is absolutely a dog. Apparently you can just do that if you’re the most boring biologist alive and no one will argue with you because to do that would involve talking to you. We’ll just say a bird is a dog and no one can fight me or I will talk about the corn book that this guest on this twitch chat was thinking about renting from the library about the different types of corn mutations inherent in freakin Indiana. Therefore, Joey’s fear of birds and dogs is same.

So they use Dark Magician to save them from the statues, and Yugi busts into the pantheon again because they got to open this casket before a time limit that I kind of forgot about, tbh.

And inside the casket, is...this thing!

(enjoy this line on the bottom of the image I don’t feel like fixing it)

And you may say to yourself...it looks like it’s just floating in mid-air, that’s silly, and so I want to introduce you to the next panel where you can see that it is...quite literally...just floating in the air like a video game.

and it just slurps itself onto Yugi before he can be like “nonono.”

Wasn’t there some horror movie where you were stuck in some sort of body brace that slowly tortures you (was that Saw?) This has that vibes. Like man that looks uncomfortable to wear over a jacket and two belts and a collar that is another belt.

That and I...I gotta appreciate that Yugi popped his collar while wearing body armor and chunky necklace. What 00′s fashion appreciation right there.

Bit like...this isn’t breathable, right? Like Yugi’s gonna finally take this thing off and his jacket will just be completely soaked in sweat?

Anyway, that’s it for this post, next week we’ll see if Yugi can walk through a doorway in that thing.

Also, I can’t bring up the ostrich dance without sharing the vines of my generation

youtube

#Yugioh #YGO #yu gi oh #photo recap #episode recap #S5 #Ep19 #Yugi Muto #Joey Wheeler #Joey's fear of birds I've never heard about until this episode #Tea Gardner #Grandpa Muto #Tristan Taylor #Baby Dragon #This weird ass tranformer that Yugi is wearing.

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lokiarsene · 5 years ago

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Goro Akechi Confidant - Rank 8 (ENG.)

breathes heavily in “enemy lovers romance dynamic appreciation” glee

y’all i’m not fucking kidding when i say this is a the love confession rank. i am NOT.

Note: I unfortunately lost my notes where I translated some of the alternate answers at the end of this scene. If anyone has the script or screenshots of those answers, please send them to me!

Goro’s Text: Are you free? I have something important to tell you.

Ren’s Text: I’m on my way.

Goro’s Text: Thank you. I’ll wait for you in Kichijoji.

If you do not answer his text and go to Kichijoji:

Goro: Good evening, Ren. I was waiting for you. There’s something I’d like to discuss with you, if you have the time? I’d prefer it if we went to a place without other people. How about Mementos? We don’t want anyone to disturb us.

(Ren travels to Kichijoji)

Goro: I’m all prepared... All I can do is wait for the day we send the calling card (lit., “wait for the notice day.”).

Goro: Hah... why is my heart pounding like this? That’s unusual for a detective...

Goro: I have something to tell you. Do you have time to talk? I’d prefer if we go to a place without other people... How about Mementos? ... We don’t want anyone to disturb us.

Mona: You two will go to Mementos alone? ... Well, it should be all right since you two can take care of yourselves... I’m not sure what’s going on here, but be ready for anything.

Ren: Let’s go.

Goro: Then let’s go to Shibuya.

(Screen fades to black. Fades back in, Ren and Goro are in Mementos alone.)

Goro: This spot should do just fine.

Ren: Answer #1: What did you want to say? (lit., Speak.) Answer #2: Why did we come to Mementos? (lit., Why to Mementos?)

Goro: For this.

(Goro turns around, takes out a gun. He’s holding it in his left hand.)

Goro: Don’t you remember what I said? If you beat me when I use my right hand, then I’ll become your true opponent.

Note: The word he uses for opponent is literally the same word for “companion/partner”--相手。See what I mean when I said love confession and that these two are all about layered meanings?

Ren: Answer #1: You mean in billiards? Answer #2: So you want a fight? Answer #3: What’s the point of this?

Goro: I truly do regret this... But it is your fault. (lit., absolutely insufficient/regrettable.)

Goro: You saw through me when I switched hands, you're quick and resourceful (lit., quick-wit/perceptive/clever), and above all, you can adapt and change (lit., growth potential)... You exceeded all of my expectations. And so I’ve decided: I want to have a true competition with you. (lit., I want to compete with you for real/true.)

Ren: Answer #1: I understand. Answer #2: Let’s go.

(Note: The verb he uses here is the same way he responded to almost all of Goro’s previous texts to go out (付き合う). The implication is that they’re truly going to “see/meet/go somewhere” with each other. And again, this is the same verb that, depending on the context, you can use to say you’re dating/going steady with someone).

Goro: Thank you for indulging me. Don’t hold anything back.

Goro: Let’s begin!

Note: He actually yells 来い! here, which, if you know your animu or Yakuza games, basically is a command to “come [over here]”. I could not for the life of me think of either a non snooty or a non ridiculous way to say it in English (”HAVE AT YOU” or “COME AT ME, BRO”) so I had to adjust it a little. Also, here’s the cut in for y’all to enjoy:

(Boss battle begins.)

Goro: You can’t beat me if you don’t intend to kill me.

Goro: Don’t hold back; show me how serious you are.

(The fight progresses. When you do enough damage, Goro says:)

Goro: Ah yes--this is fun! (lit., How nice, interesting)

(When you get Goro’s health low enough to win the fight, he says:)

Goro: Hahaha! This is better than I expected!

(The fight ends.)

Goro: ... As one should expect from the leader of the Phantom Thieves... Have you truly surpassed me already?

Ren: Answer #1: Do you want to stop here? (lit., Take a break?) Answer #2: Is it that serious? Answer #3: Does that still bother you?

Goro’s Answer to #1: Never. But if we take it any further, we might do something we regret... (lit., hold nothing back).

Goro: I want to keep going, but we still have an important mission to complete. And until then, you and I are true partners.

Note: He uses the words 大切な仲間, which when broken down means “important, beloved, dear, cherished, etc.” “colleague, partner.” Another alternate translation might be “you are an important part of my life.” I tried to go with the one that’s more subtle and layered, as that’s how Goro always talks to Ren.

Goro: ... We’ve done what we came to do. Let’s go back.

(Screen fades out. Screen fades back, and they’re standing outside in Shibuya, near one of the stairs leading to the subway.)

Goro: Once again, I understand more about you. (lit., I knew you today too.) As your teammate fighting at your side, I find your strength truly inspiring. To tell you the truth, I find myself even relying on it.

Ren:

Answer #1: I feel the same way. Answer #2: I rely on you too.

Goro: Is that so? That makes me happy.

Goro: Sorry I dragged you out with me today. I’m feeling a little better now.

(I feel like my relationship with Akechi has gotten deeper...)

Goro: ... By the way, about the fight we just had. Do you think you would have won if we continued to the very end?

Note: “the end” as in, if we fought to the death.

Ren: Answer #1: I wouldn’t lose. Answer #2: I don’t know. Answer #3: Maybe.

Goro’s Answer to #1: You would say that.

Goro: To be honest, I hate you.

Goro: The way you’ve stayed true despite everything, the way you work to surpass me, all the ways you’re nothing like me...everything about you is infuriating. If there’s one person I never want to lose to, it’s you.

Ren: Answer #1: I feel the same way about you. (Note: Another ambiguous line. This can be translated as “we are like each other”, “we like each other,” or “we feel the same way.”) Answer #2: I hate losing.

Goro’s Answer to #1: You really...? ... Well... that’s...

Goro: I accept that you were the winner, but next time, the victory will be mine. (lit., I will give you the win today, but next time I will win.)

Goro: ... And this is the proof of that.

(Goro takes the glove off his right hand, pulling on each finger, and throws it at Ren.)

(... It’s the glove Akechi usually wears.)

Goro: In the West, it is customary to challenge someone to a duel by throwing down your glove. If the opponent accepts the glove, then they agree to the duel.

Ren: Answer #1: I accept. Answer #2: I’ll have to think about it.

Goro’s Answer to #1: Don’t ever forget this: I will always be the one to beat you.

(Note: Alternate translation: “It is this me who will defeat you.”

Please note that he threw his right hand glove at Ren, instead of his “true” hand. Meaning that the “false” him will win, or that the one who will betray and kill Ren is not the real him [as in, once again he doesn’t want to kill Ren in order to win against him. This also means that since it’s not a “true” victory, Goro intends to have another competition against Ren in the future--basically promising that he will go for a rematch, which is what the glove represents. The ending of P5R confirms that it’s proof of their promise to each other.)

Goro: I think it’s best if we end it here for today.

---

So. The whole “dominant/true hand” thing here is obviously symbolic of both a card game and hidden truths. The card game stuff fits with P5′s penultimate boss theme (”Last ace in a lost hand”), as well as Sae’s Palace, the Casino, being the place where the betrayal happens. It also ties into one of the overarching themes of Goro and Ren’s Confidant, which is what they have between them is like a game (a meta choice on the devs’ part, as they are literally in a game).

Right from the start, Ren knew that Goro wasn’t showing a true side/his “true” hand, and the game showed this as Ren noticing the smallest details about Goro from the moment they met. This did not escape Goro’s attention, which is why he gets so fixated on the whole “dominant hand” issue as well as how perceptive Ren is. This is also why he panics and gets frustrated with how much he shares with Ren. Ren already sees so much, and Goro can’t seem to help himself and reveals so much of himself whether he intends to or not.

So basically both boys knew the other one had a secret that they were not telling each other (playing in their “off hands” so to speak). “Dominant/true hand” here can also be symbolic just in a narrative sense for who has the upper-hand.

This is why this Rank goes the way it does. In this Rank, Goro pulls a gun on Ren and tells him that now, because of Ren, he is Ren’s true opponent. Which, yes, he is. But the wordplay with “opponent/partner” cannot be overlooked because it was deliberate. Because again, Goro and Ren and their relationship is never just one thing. So it being Ren’s “fault” is like... Yeah thanks you to I wanna fight you. Replace “fight” with the romantic or saucier word of your choosing.

#akeshu #shuake #persona 5 royal #p5r spoilers #persona 5 royal spoilers #meta #mod krist translates

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love-fireflysong · 4 years ago

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Until Dawn’s Fifth Birthday

Welp, congrats Until Dawn, you’re officially old enough to start kindergarten. You’re off to learn to read, tie your shoes, recite yous ABC’s, and learn to count to 100. Your such a big kid now, and I’m proud of you for making it this far.

I know I have done literal jack shit for the entire month, but I have been immensely enjoying the things that everyone’s been putting out for this month. So I’m gonna make this text post, not just because of it’s the five year anniversary, but because it’s actually a post I’ve been wanting to make for a while.

So here it goes:

I first learned of Until Dawn when it first came out hilariously enough. My roommate at the time had boughten it for her ps4 and I had been seeing it all over my dashboard on tumblr at the time. I didn’t play it myself though until close to a year later, when I finally had my own ps4 and I bought the game used for like $20 or something from my local game rental store. And I was hooked.

I remember jumping the first time the UD logo pulls that jump scare on the title screen. And laughing because I’m normally pretty good with jump scares, but that one managed to get me because I hadn’t been expecting one before I even started the game. (The one thing in the game that manages to make me jump every time is the mine cart you stop as Mike. For whatever reason it doesn’t matter how dark my room is when I play the game or how many times I’ve played it, I can never see the mine cart until its literally on top of Mike and the QTE is almost up and I squeak in surprise every fucking time.)

Of course I didn’t manage to save everyone during my first playthrough, I definitely lost Matt to the hook and Ash to the trapdoor (RIP darlings), and for the life of me I can’t recall how the lodge scene at the end went. I’m one of those players though that try to make choices that the characters I’m playing as would, I throw my feelings by the wayside. For example, being in the shed when the game’s making me choose Ash or Josh, and I was debating on whether or not Chris would save the girl he’s had a major crush on for a while at least, or his best friend for the last ten years. I distinctly remember wincing and sucking in air through my teeth and going “Sorry Ash, bros before hoes” and choosing Josh. And then being confused and convinced that I misunderstood the instructions? I mean I wasn’t complaining, just really, really confused. I definitely choose Ash to live at the gun one though, like there was no hesitation. I watched the whole ‘only thing I’ve ever wanted to do with my time’ scene and talk and the moment control was given back to me, the gun was under Chris’s jaw and I fired.

I’m also one of the players that didn’t know that Josh had been behind everything until the reveal either. I had gotten Sam captured so I never got any of those clues and I managed to miss the other clues that hinted at it being a set up (like the bundle of newspapers). So until the reveal I was still convinced that someone was out there killing all of them. Listen, I like mystery games but I’m not very good at connecting the dots okay.

I think I stuck around for a couple of months, gorging myself of fanfiction (all ff.net stuff by the way, I can’t remember if I knew about ao3 at that point or not) but like all interests do with me, the obsession eventually faded (helped in a large part by the rampant Ashley hate going around at the time) and I moved on.

Until February of this year. I was trying to kill time till the end of March when Persona 5: Royal released and I decided to try and see how many games I could platinum until that point. I had made it through the ps3 tomb raider games, Prince of Persia 2008, and decided on replaying the Uncharted games because the ps4 collection didn’t have multiplayer trophies. I hadn’t even thought of replaying Until Dawn. I mean, I had looked at the case and I remembered the game fondly, but that was it. There was no urge or want.

I was halfway through Among Thieves when I was bored and chilling time on Youtube. And because I had been watching a couple of videos for the treasure locations in Uncharted, one of the recommended videos for me was a game sins for the series. I decided sure why not, and watched it. And watched a few of his other ones as well, Until Dawn included.

That’s right, what got me back into the series wasn’t fond nostalgia for the characters or story. It was a fucking Game Sins video. I’m so sorry.

I was devouring UD content again. I spent like 2 or 3 weeks reading everything Chrashley (with the hyper-fixation for the game back came the ship, what can I say) based on ao3 that I could get my hands on. I was back into the tag on tumblr, going through art I remembered seeing way back when and looking at usernames that didn’t mean a thing then, but mean the world to me now. And then near the end of February, when the obsession was once again starting to flag, I decided to hell with it, and clicked on the The (Almost)s.

I’m not going to expunge all my praises for the story, everyone else has done that better then I ever could. But guys, it was so good. So so good. I was hooked back into the series once again, just as I was starting to flag. And when I saw that @queenofbaws had mentioned that she was tumblr... I didn’t do anything right away. Too scared really, figured she might find it creepy, so I didn’t do anything for like a week. And then I decided fuck it, sent a message about Chris giving Ash his sweater, and following her.

And that was it. I figured I would stick around to see the story completed and just dip. Not even make a splash, just enjoy the content from the sidelines and no one would know that I was here in the first place. Same old, same old. But that was also when I started turning around the kernel in my mind that Baby It’s Cold Outside (so hold me tight in your arms and don’t let go). I didn’t even intend to write it, it was just going to be the fanfic that lived in my mind for me to stew on before bed every night. But I couldn’t sleep one night, my brain was too on and the words just weren’t stopping, so I pulled out my computer and wrote the first part from Chris standing in the snow outside to him reaching the lodge at like 3 in the morning.

I started becoming more involved in the fandom when queenie started her wip wednesdays and asked to be tagged. Hilariously enough, those days are what started me cross-stitching again too, I hadn’t touched the pattern in months at that point. So I started posting snippets of my writing, and that one day a week was the only thing pushing me to continue writing. By that point, I had stopped hanging around the edges, now trying to push myself closer into this little fandom circle.

The day I posted the story, I was fucking terrified. It wasn’t my first story, not by a long shot, but I had always considered my writing to be shit. I thought I had good ideas, but I never felt that I was able to truly bring them to life. English and grammar had never been my best subject, I was always more of a math and physics person growing up. But then that first comment from @elliepollie came in and I almost burst into tears. I couldn’t believe that someone out there liked it so much, that they were willing to leave me a review in the first place. I’m still so blown away that she was willing to recommend it as a Chrashley story for other people to read. I think that was the point I stopped hesitantly pushing my way through, and I just kicked down the doors and just yelled ‘Hey fuckers! I’m here now and you are going to fucking deal with it!’.

That was the event that opened the floodgates for me. Suddenly I was talking to people, I had friends online with the same interests as me. I’ve written more in the last six months then I’ve done in the last ten years! I’m feeling inspired to create again. I actually went out to do the first commission I’ve ever requested (speaking of which, please please please go commisson @fudgeroach. I cannot wait until he can post and show you guys the stuff he drew for me. It was worth every fucking penny let me tell you.)

I’m going to be honest, Until Dawn isn’t my favourite game. Sure it has some of my fav lines (it had been years since I played the game, and the moment Jess started her rant outside the guest cabin I was screaming it along with her) and great characters, as horrible people as they all are, but it’s never been my favourite game and likely never will be. But Until Dawn has the best fandom I’ve ever been in and I’m so, so happy to have met and known every single person here. I seriously love every single person here so, so much. You all make my life better and I’m so happy to have all of you in it. Just to quote Chris because I can: “Every second I spend with you is all I ever wanted to do with my time.” This is how I feel. This is how I feel every goddamn day now.

So yeah, I got back into this fandom from a stupid Game Sins video. But by god if it wasn’t the best choice I’ve ever made.

(PS: for those wondering, I never did finish Uncharted 2. Maybe one day...)

#until dawn #udanniversary #<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

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chibimyumi · 5 years ago

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Hey! Hope everything's fine (: I wanna ask about the following: what do you think will happen to r!Ciel? I just can't see o!Ciel, Sebastian, the Undertaker etc killing r!Ciel... He might decide to leave the scene for his brother's sake. It would be quite ironic if r!Ciel will choose to sacrifice himself after UT's hard work to bring him back to "life", given the fact that he's an ex-human who committed suicide.

Dear Anon,

First of all, thank you very much, I am doing great. I hope you’re doing great as well! Secondly, I am so sorry for the late reply.

What I think will happen to R!Ciel.

I definitely think that Undertaker will do anything in his power to make sure that R!Ciel does not get killed again; we have seen Undertaker’s obsession with the Phantomhive family, after all.

Sebastian is the titular character of this series, and right now he is incredibly scared of the reaper. Functionally, Undertaker is designed as the main villain and foil to Sebastian. Therefore, storytelling-wise, I think the logical proceeding would be for Sebas to thwart Undertaker when it comes to R!Ciel. Both of them would share the same reason to oppose each other, namely that they are each other’s greatest obstacle in achieving their respective goals. For Sebastian, it is to fulfil his contract and devour O!Ciel, which Undertaker is trying to prevent. For Undertaker, it is for Sebas to NOT fulfil his contract, as he wishes to reunite the Phantomhive family as much as possible. As such, though R!Ciel is of course a character of his own, he does also function as a plot-device for Sebas’ character arc to bear fruit.

Unpacking ‘Need vs Want’

Any good character arc should contain a good ‘need vs want’ correlation. The part above ⇈ and the greatest part of the manga so far, addresses only the ‘need’ in the ‘need vs want’ in Sebastian’s character arc. The ‘want’ is mostly left untouched. Sure, we could say that Sebastian ‘wants’ to fulfil his contract in order to have O!Ciel’s soul, but there has never been any explicit explanation as to whether Sebas had a choice in the matter to begin with. He did not seem to have any say in whether he gets summoned or not, as was suggested by him telling O!Ciel to dismiss him if he required no service of him. Here, we learned that Sebas can’t just leave on his own accord; i.e. he is chained. From this, we may conclude that sacrificing R!Ciel was the fee to get Sebastian to travel to the human world. If we do accept that he had no say in whether he wanted to come or not, we could say that by ‘paying’ with R!Ciel, Sebas was put in a magic-parcel and sent to O!Ciel, with the included promise to enter a bond of servitude. In order to dismiss him, the same postage fee would have been required to repack him and send him back.

If we accept Sebas’ condition of entering the contract as being involuntary, all the ‘want’ in him that is left so far is:

wanting his meal to be delicious

to not be a speechless slave.

Out of these two ‘wants’ however, only number 1 counts as the correlation with the ‘need’ which befits a character arc. Number 2 is more of a coping mechanism, or a means to an end, if anything. Whether or not he acts like a speechless slave will not really change the way he fulfils his contract. For number 1 however, Sebas does need to act differently depending on how he wishes to manipulate the flavour of O!Ciel’s soul. Sure, so far in the manga, Sebastian has done quite a few things already to influence the flavour of his meal, e.g. letting the snakes attack the boy in Snake’s tent in the circus arc, or not allowing him to continue simpering due to trauma in the werewolf arc. (But one could even argue that shocking him out of trauma has more to do with the ‘need’…)

The current development in regards to Undertaker is probably the first time where Sebas’ ‘want’ arc can finally shine. I shall explain below:

R!Ciel and O!Ciel’s bond.

One of the most important things the flashbacks were telling us is that O!Ciel and R!Ciel have an incredibly strong bond, and that O!Ciel used to be hyper dependent on his older sibling. After R!Ciel died, O!Ciel had to rapidly grow up in order to fill the shoes his brother left behind, as well as to establish his own identity, or arguably, his brother’s identity according to the almost idealistic standard to which the younger twin held him.

O!Ciel is no longer dependent on his twin, but if we read this spread page from the werewolf arc as the order of guilt-level O!Ciel feels towards people, we see R!Ciel being in position number 1.

So the arc for O!Ciel here is to decide whether his sentiments play a role in his decision making.

Will he show that he has entirely let go of his sentiments and see R!Ciel for the zombie he is, and continue his revenge arc in a bee-line?

Or will lingering sentiments flow into a mini personal-redemption arc now that the main object of O!Ciel’s guilt is back?

Considering O!Ciel’s personality, I personally am more willing to bank on a route 2, where the sentiments might threaten to influence O!Ciel, but him having to smack these feelings down even more harshly. If anything O!Ciel has learned in the past almost-4 years, is that the dead stay dead. Back in chapter 19, O!Ciel even lectured Soma on the stupidity of wishing things back that are gone at one point.

O!Ciel realises very well that R!Ciel is not his brother anymore. We have seen his shock upon seeing his brother’s corpse talking to him, yes, but afterwards, the first spoken reaction we see of him is utter outrage. That scene was so full of spontaneity and catharsis, it is hard to believe that he used all those long, looong moments of absolute silence to come up with a script to give people a ‘show’ of how he wants his zombie brother deader. If anything, the long period of silence was probably him considering what the return of ‘the real first born’ means to him, and how it will influence his future. And of course O!Ciel is not happy to find out that the one adversary even his demon seems unable to overcome, has become their adversary again in a major problem that O!Ciel cannot afford to hand-wave. During the Campania- and the Boarding School Arc, O!Ciel could say: “Oh, Undertaker is up to no good, he has to be stopped. If not, then it sucks for others.” But now, if Undertaker doesn’t get stopped FOR GOOD, well… it will become: “That sucks a lot for me!”

Returning to Sebastian’s ‘want’

So, what does all this rant about O!Ciel have to do with Sebastian’s ‘want’ arc? If O!Ciel goes for route 1 (bee-line to revenge), then Sebastian and O!Ciel’s ‘want’ arc will overlap, and the two of them can head towards the same goal (albeit with different motivations).Here above however, I said that I am more likely to vouch for route 2.

If O!Ciel opts for route 2, then O!Ciel’s ‘want’ and Sebastian’s ‘want’ will contradict, as surely Sebastian is not waiting for a soul with ‘too-many-sentiments-to-kill-a-corpse’ flavour. In that case, however reluctant Sebastian might be to fight Undertaker again, he will at least make sure that O!Ciel’s resolve to kill the zombie won’t wither. This task however, will require a much greater effort and determination on Sebastian’s part than anything he has done so far in terms of ‘seasoning his meal’. The snake-stunt in the Circus Arc was adding some salt and pepper perhaps, but this time, playing a hand in whether or not O!Ciel has the guts to kill R!Ciel will be as flavour-changing as choosing between boiling or stir-frying a meal.

Hence, with clashing interests between demon and boy, Sebastian must see to it that his ‘want’ won’t be hindered by O!Ciel’s ‘want’. So, ladies and gentlemen, and other respectable individuals, here is where we might see Sebastian’s first ‘want’ arc where he acts solely out of personal desire. Regardless of whether O!Ciel would initially choose route 1 or 2, the final result (if Sebas has any say in the matter) will still result in them going after R!Ciel.

R!Ciel Leaving Baby Brother?

As for R!Ciel leaving the scene for his brother’s sake… I personally find it quite hard to believe so. As explained in the Boarding School Arc, Bizarre Dolls – however well they are made – are in essence the embodiment of a person’s strongest emotions and fixations in life. R!Ciel’s fixation is probably his regret that he could not stay by his baby brother’s side to protect him and planning every detail out in their ‘glorious shared future’. Remember how R!Ciel could not handle O!Ciel saying he is going to live his own life and become a toy maker? Yikes.

The possessiveness of R!Ciel that was unfiltered due to his young age became the essence of his current being; a baby-bro-con zombie. Instead of “braaains”, it is “baby-brooooo”. In short, I do not think there is any chance R!Ciel will be able to physically and mentally let go of O!Ciel. As touched upon in this post, I think Undertaker’s and O!Ciel’s shared objective is to force O!Ciel to live a ‘happy life’ together with his twin.

If anything, R!Ciel’s (artificial) intentions fit the theme of Kuroshitsuji perfectly; humans are too greedy to let go and will submit to their greed ever after death.

If we consider this, then the Bizarre Dolls tell us that: “what makes humans human is their greed and fixation. In order to make a corpse human again, the main and only way to make this possible is to restore this greed and fixation.

#Kuroshitsuji #Black Butler #Sebastian Michaelis #Ciel Phantomhive #O!Ciel #R!Ciel #Our Ciel #Real Ciel #Bizarre Doll #Zombie #Undertaker #analysis #Character analysis #Need vs want

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demyrie · 6 years ago

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I'm curious but why did you delete JAM? It was one of my favorite JxD fics and I never got to finish reading it.

ahhhh oh dear, yeah, that happened.

So, for everyone arriving, I wrote a fic called Just Another Mission for the Jak and Daxter game series, and Jak/Daxter pairing. Yes, the green haired elf protag with the fuzzy orange thing, which btw used to be a human and was a human in fic. I think I started it when I was maybe 14 (yikes omg) and a few years ago, I deleted it, and I don’t delete fics.

Rant and personal history ahead, but tldr; i deleted this particular fic because:

1) I became more and more uncomfortable with the way I’d treated certain characters without giving them respect or resolution (throwing around things like domestic abuse while being too young to properly understand What I Was Doing or How to Answer Very Triggered Friends Who Had the Misfortune of Reading This I’m So Goddamn Sorry, as well as falling into that Not Like Other Girls slash fan ditch of treating female characters like shit/obstacles to the main pairing WHICH IS JUST ******) as well as personally uncomfortable portrayals of obsession and taking advantage of people that turn my stomach to this day (see reason 4)

2) i got way in over my head with my own writing/style which was so obtuse and self-indulgent that I felt a great amount of shame over it, including the attention it had gotten, and the way it went to my head and turned me into an egotistic little shit. I was an asshole peacock and I regret it. There was a break where I got waylaid before the final confrontation in the fic (see reason 4, also a very bad time to get held up in any narrative) and when I returned to the story, i nearly cried because it was such a mess and I didn’t know what I was saying anymore. Finishing it was a struggle and I even remember one JnD fan friend being like “hey this chapter seemed really curt??? short?? not like you” and I was like YEAH THATS NOT ME ANYMORE god i hope

3) there was a sort of ... anti-JxD surge in my little pool from people I really respected and it made me think i was doing something wrong even just remembering it, so I cut off that memory.

4) it coincided with two ugly relationships in my life that marred it, and I just wanted it gone for my own mental health.

So anon, I’m very sorry that you never got to finish it. I had good intentions in mind and gave them a happy ending where they realized they loved each other, even if the journey there was difficult.

It both touched me and broke a piece of my heart when someone came to me years ago and asked me why I had deleted it, saying the story had given them the courage to come out as gay to their family. In that moment, overwhelmed with how ProblematicTM the whole story was, I was really struck with just ... how subjective our world experience is, and how so many things can mean so many different things to every single soul and how terrifyingly VALID peoples experiences are, no matter how they come by them. We’re all so unique and convoluted, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure -- and one man’s trigger is another man’s key to Becoming. But no matter how inspiring, I couldn’t bring myself to repost it.

Hopefully this will be the only fic i ever delete with relish. Jak and Daxter will always be a good memory for me, regardless. Thanks for the ask, anon.

(even more) personal stuff below the cut. tw for stalking, harassment, manipulation and emotional abuse.

So.

Im a firm believer in stories living beyond their authors (something that JK rowling doesnt seem to understand iykwim). I don’t normally delete past works, because while I wrote them, I also know that they’ve outgrown me as most narratives do: people are absolutely allowed to enjoy what they want to or need to, not just because I think said thing is reflective of my current work or jives with my current stage of life.

However, JAM was a particular Thing that Had to Go.

The timeline is hella fuzzy to me because I’ve blocked a lot of it out, but I was coming out of middle school and struggling with my mental health. On the real life side, I was stuck in a situation with a close friend of mine who was very fixated on us being in a relationship and the pining was loud enough to hear from the other side of the country. Wounded people pleaser that I was, I flipped (exhaustingly) back and forth between “i dont like you like that” and “but I want you to be happy so what if I tried liking you like that?” and there was massive amounts of hidden hurt and resentment and tension and abandonment complex activation and just ... a strangling of anything that made our friendship good for either of us.

Also she was a she. So. Yannoe, gay is difficult.

This definitely burnt me out on the “best friends pining” trope and is probably legit the ONLY reason I’m not equally in the erasermic and erasermight camp haha. That trope feels claustrophobic and draining to me, so I leave it for others to enjoy.

It also coincided with a married 45yo adult man luring me into a “platonic, ecstatic, boundary-breaking, you-are-my-beautiful-young-muse, words cannot express how much I love you” creative type relationship that inevitably turned possessive, domineering and manipulative. Within the bounds of the Renaissance Faire community, I thought he was a safe person and he was not, and his constant reassurance that I wasn’t like other women my age was absolutely hypnotizing to a undeveloped soul who really, really wanted to be special.

We traded poetry and tarot card readings over email. He bought me manga and shared stories about his time overseas and in the service. He made me props to go with my renaissance faire character and showed me where to find cheap leather so I could piece things together myself.

He also stalked me and owned me for the better part of a year and I only realized it once he started harassing a dear friend of mine overseas, whom I was visiting, about a package that he’d sent, which apparently he’d covered in original poetry to let me know how much he loved me But Not In a Hetero or Sexual Way Bro, so of course he didn’t want it to get lost in the postal system. So what is he going to do? Note my friend twice a day asking if its arrived until she inevitably, tearfully spills that this guy is stressing her out and who is he anyway?

My horrible secret was out, which only sounded horrible when I explained it to someone else. I realized this man was trying to follow me wherever i went and I got so fucking angry that he was messing with my friend that I had to stop it.

(He called me a cunt when I broke it off with him on the phone in the dark on the floor of my bedroom in the middle of the night so my parents wouldn’t hear, then sobbed and said he was sorry. I was so dissociated from the rush of anger and helplessness that it took for me to actually MAKE the call that all I could do was wiggle my foot and watch it in the reflection of the mirror on the back of my door, and think maybe I was a cunt but I wasn’t his cunt anymore. So there.

Afterward I slammed my forehead into the mirror a few times to make sure I’d actually done it and it wasn’t a dream.)

During all of this, I was writing this stupid fic. I think. Honestly, I don’t fucking know, but I can’t think of it without thinking of him and how i was devoured.

The stress of hiding this “totally wonderful but NORMAL PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT WE HAVE!!!!” grooming shit from my parents was gutting me alive, and I was so far gone RE: worthiness/autonomy that I didn’t even consider why I BOTHERED diffusing his petulant accusations over notes on deviantArt again and again as he baited me into shit just to explode over how I didn’t love him and I figured out another way to soothe his engorged and tarry ego without explicitly lying that I loved him too.

He made me regret my silver tongue and way with words as I used it to defend myself again and again, and crushed my love of writing. I would pace the neighborhood for almost an hour several times a week, claiming I was ‘exercising’ but really trying to understand why i felt so trapped, or where the lines between love and hate lay, or why I wanted to cry all the time, as i low key tried to get hit by a car just to force something to change in my life and jolt me out of his smothering, needy nightmare of constant texting and emails and notes. I couldn’t fucking flinch without him knowing about it, and asking me if I was okay. For this reason, I react very poorly to people fretting over me at length, and loudly. I get angry and feel violated, or just pinned to the floor by someone Performing their love on me with no real regard for my health.

This whole time, I was escaping into fandom. It probably saved my life, in one way or another, because I found friends who supported me and made me laugh in the JnD sphere. Especially the friend whose distress caused me to snap and realize This Couldn’t Continue.

This terrible man was the first one outside of my friend group that I showed my writing to, the first adult as well. It was on the dark side even then, but he said it was wonderful and amazing. He teased me for being stuck up in my authors notes on JAM (one of the reasons I’m just getting over ... talking ...) but said it inspired him to start writing as well. He used that writing to imagine hokey sprawling stories of him being a hot rod racer and me being his sexy girlfriend, Very Totally in Love. Why Couldn’t We have Just Met in a Different Lifetime??? not that its a relevant question for my young 16yo friend lol just something dreamers wonder lol lol here why don’t you take this traditional irish engagement ring aka claddagh i bought for you, lie to your parents and say I bought one for everyone in our renfaire group, and turn it toward your heart, to imply that you’re in love, so that I can keep your heart safe for you until you find a boyfriend?

FUCKER YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER ok I’m done. Fuck.

JAM was a project of mine that spanned a year or two and is intrinsically tangled in those very bad relationships and very bad lessons. I deleted it because I needed to, for purely personal reasons beyond the fact that it was generally bombastic, over-long, tone-deaf and dealt with very serious issues poorly. Due to these experiences, you won’t catch me in a hot minute writing either best-friends-pining or heavy jealousy/possessiveness fic, but everyone else? Go crazy just tag your shit.

so. anyway. isn’t subjectivity actually terrifying? You never know what something can mean to someone else. So just ask, maybe.

Damn, son. Some fics you just can’t repost.

#just another mission #jam #demyrie writes #personal #abuse #stalking #emotional manipulation #i would say p/edophilia but this site doesnt know what that means and this isnt it either so how about abuse of a minor #recovery #mental health #suicidal ideation #triggers #Anonymous

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ephemeralem0tions · 7 years ago

Text

4100 Chapter 17: Thicker than Blood

For the AO3 version, click here [x]

P.S. For first time readers, Abby is Hanji (which will be revealed at the end of this chapter for long time readers) to follow this Levihan story from the beginning, use the link above as well.

As 4100 is at its last three chapters plus the epilogue, I’d like to thank everyone who had supported it so far. I opted to post this chapter now due to my midterms coming in two weeks plus my grandmother passing away yesterday (please pray for her).

Thank you and I hope you enjoy this chapter of 4100.

17: Thicker than Blood

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Category: F/M

Relationships: Hanji Zoe and Levi Ackerman

—Levi—

His hands shook, grip unsteady against the gun, his skin becoming even more pale, as if he’s seen a ghost. His lips quivered as he stared at her dead eyes, eyes that had been fixated at him as if telling him everything he had done wrong. He dropped his weapon to the ground as well as his gaze, tears silently falling from his eyes, his aura darkening in remorse and sadness.

“Levi?” Abby whispered, grunting and getting back to her feet, still having a hard time, yet his body was too frozen to assist her.

She too froze, her eyes wide as soon as it connected with the other bionic across them. It wasn’t for the same reason Levi was shocked, it was because she saw the other girl as an enemy. He stance quickly hardened again, despite the hardship that was evident in her eyes.

His gears had gone to move again when Abby had snatched his handgun from the ground and pointed it against his long lost sister. He raised an arm to signal her to put down her weapon, yet she wasn’t fazed. She showed nothing but signs of being ready to fight while Isabel stood out there doing nothing. He faced her, an angry look in his face, directed at her.

“Abby!” he growled, giving her a firm cold stare so she would follow his orders, yet still, she remained strong on her ground. “Abby! She’s not even doing anything! Please!” he pleaded with her, his eyes softening.

Although it was evident in her eyes that she was reluctant, she fulfilled his request, lowering the gun yet never putting it completely down. Her eyes had also been fixated on the other bionic, glowing green as if she was studying Isabel. It was full of caution, disdain and uncertainty.

She flinched once he slid down the pile of debris that they had been on top of. Abby was like a hawk ready to attack any moment, yet remained observant until the right moment. He took note of it, one wrong move and Isabel would be killed. He did not want that, he had yearned for Isabel ever since she was taken away right in front of him, not that she’s there again, he didn’t want to lose her for the second time. She was the soul reason why he became a cop, this was his prime moment and mission, she was finally there, living, breathing, alive.

“Isabel” his voice as soft as cooing to a precious child, as he emerged from his position, walking towards her really slowly.

Isabel remained standing, staring at him emotionless only a few meters away. She had grown so much, into a woman, someone who looks like she’s strong, that she could defend herself on her own. He wished he could be proud of the immense power she is displaying at the moment, but he wasn’t. It could have been a product of natural growth, if only Isabel had grown up with him and Farlan. But no, she was taken away at a young age and made into a part robot part human with the purpose of killing. He wondered what kind of life she lived while he spent years training and looking for her. Was she battered, beat up, hurt? Or was she treated well? He knew better, it wouldn’t be on the positive side, and whoever she is now, was a product of cruelty.

Deep inside, he beat himself up for her state, for not looking earlier and saving her earlier, yet he did not regret anything. She could still be saved right? Abby found out the truth and accepted it. Could she still be reverted back to her old memory and old self? He just had to try.

He’d make up for all the years, the happiness, experiences she missed. Even if she’s already a bionic, she can still eat, sleep, travel like Abby. She’d even be more fit, they’d have countless adventures and fun, just like they did when they were kids.

“Isabel, do you remember me? Your big bro?” he asked her, remembering the nickname she used to call him. He remembered how good he felt whenever she did. For once, he felt like he was tall, and her dependence on him made him feel strong.

A wave of memories came rushing over back to him. Her smile, the way she’d laugh around pranking him and Farlan. The way she would frown when he’d tell her to help them clean along with the Pastor. The way her face becomes messy when she ate, and all the other shenanigans she did.

“Remember when you said you wanted to ride a horse before? I can take you to the corps’ stables, I have my own horse there, you can use him” he told her, taking another step forward.

Isabel tilted her head to the side, mouth forming an ‘o’. He had a bit of hope, that she understood what he was saying. She was reacting to it, she had to be.

Then he heard a gun’s safety being flicked off. He stared back at Abby, holding his hand up in a halt sign so she would not do it.

“Abby stop!” he growled at her, angrily this time. He thought she already listened to him, yet she was showing her stubborn side again.

“She’s going to kill you” Abby responded, her grip on the gun back at shooting stance again, the levelers right at her eye level so that she knew she wouldn’t miss even in a long distance.

“She is not! Right Isabel? You remember me right?!” he turned back to the red head, desperate that she would say something, anything. “Remember your favorite food? That bag of licorice the Pastor used to buy only during your birthday? You can have them everyday, I’d buy them for you. I won’t mind if you get your cheeks and your clothes sticky and dirty, I’ll just wash them on my own”

Isabel tilted her head to the other side, eyes mimicking Abby’s glowing turquoise ones. Bionics display it when they are concentrating on thinking, analyzing things, or planning for a trajectory. He couldn’t decipher Isabel’s if it were a good or bad sign unlike how he does with Abby’s. He felt even more guilt, he can’t even tell his own sister, yet can tell what Abby is feeling or even thinking so easily.

“Levi, get back” Abby warned from behind him, yet he continuously signed her off to not move or shoot. “Levi I mean it!” she screamed. “She is not hesitating to kill you she doesn’t know you!”

“She knows me!” he shouted back. “She knows that she’s the first one out of the orphanage, at the backyard when the seasons change. She loves the scent and colors of blooming flowers in spring and would get soil all over her when she tries to dig for bunnies at the yard because she read about it from her favorite book. She loves the sunlight when its summer and the puddles made by the rainy season. She loves hiding under piles of leaves Farlan and I gathered during the fall and ruining them to surprise us when we are done. She loves the snow and making snow angels in the winter. I might have been an annoying asshole of a big brother who always tells her to clean up because she is dirty, or ties her hair quite tightly because they always tend to fray or fall down. I know she remembers me, I know so!”

He was trying to convince himself, that he was right. She was looking at him so innocently, like the sweet little girl she was. She’s still the same, he convinced himself. He reached out his hand for her to grab unto. He wanted to bring her back with him to the quarters, give back all the time they had lost apart.

“Lets go Isabel” he inches closer, his arm stretching out to hold her hand. It was only when Isabel flashed him a smile that he was hit with the reality. She isn’t his ‘sister’ right now.

A strong force pulled him back before he was hit by a aquamarine glowing laser, the metal handgun semi-melted inches away from him. Abby’s left arm was hooked around his waist while she skated away, muttering curse words under her breath.

The smile that Isabel gave him, it wasn’t sweet, it was bitter, sinister even. The smile of a psychopath who was ready for murder. Abby was right, she was ready to kill. As a bionic, all of them are programmed to kill the enemy, and in Isabel’s eyes, he was an enemy. He couldn’t blame her, she had just missed an entire life of freedom and innocence because he was too weak to protect her before, and now she’s getting her revenge.

In a course of time, Abby was able to replicate Isabel’s laser gun from her hands, a skill he learned that she can do during their first mission; mimicry.

He used his two hands to try to put her arm down, yet she wouldn’t budge, the metals inside of her probably stronger than he ever will be.

“Levi stop it!” she scolded him, trying to remove his grip from her with her free hand as gently as she could.

“You cannot kill Isabel! Not now that I’ve finally found her!” he cried out.

“Either I kill her, or she kills us!” she growled, finally removing him from her way.

“She has done nothing wrong! She still has a potential to remember and realize everything like you did! She just needs time!” he was now clinging unto Abby’s waist, his arms hugging her while tears ran down from his eyes, he was desperate.

“We don’t have time Levi!” she faced him, her cold, angry eyes suddenly softening when she saw his state. He was crying, obviously lost on what he should do next.

One zip and a strong light later, the both of them were thrown off behind the pile of debris they were once covered in. Not one second later, the stones and steel disintegrated when Isabel shot at them. They were now open and clear to be killed, the whole area a ruins of something that cannot be deciphered anymore. No one would guess a strong laboratory building once stood in the place.

Abby was panting when she knelt to her knees, trying to stand up. She fell down for a moment but mustered up all her remaining strength to keep going. She was so fixated on killing Isabel and he hated it.

Isabel started to raise her hand up and aim at Abby, the light and zipping noise from her weapon starting up. Abby had raised hers too in defense. He stared at the two women in horror, eyes wide in fear.

“Abby! Please don’t!” he pleaded one last time, shaking his head while she gave him one last glance.

“I’m sorry” she whispered, before two bright lights nearly blinded him.

—Abby—

She could hear nothing but a beep, her heavy breathing, and a slow and steady beating. Her vision clouded by a luminescent light before it turned blurry, then slowly adjusting, until only her right eye had restored clear vision.

The sky was dark, devoid of any stars nor clouds, the wind cold, she felt so exposed. Then, she proceeded to scouting herself, her right hands makings its way to her face, a shard of glass pricking her right away. She retracted her finger, her glasses must have been broken that’s why she couldn’t see clearly from her left eye.

Then it dawned on her, she couldn’t feel the left side of her upper torso. Not a single nerve or finger. With the last bit of strength she had, she lifter her neck up, eyes widening in shock and in horror. She had no left arm, wirings and flesh peaking out from her torn body, yet strangely, the beating became louder and louder each minute.

There she saw, a bit of muscles and veins clumped together that made her smile. Even if her vision was at the worst condition at the moment, she could not be mistaken, she had a heart. She is human, and its slow beat was bringing comfort to her even in her painstaking situation. She was just so happy at the discovery.

Then she suddenly remembered Levi, she wanted to tell him, she wanted to share her joy with him, but alas, the man he loved was giving his comfort and his arms that held her so tight the night before to another girl.

Tears spilled down her eyes, heart suddenly became heavy, pain doubling in effect. She knew that Isabel was his sister, but it just hurt so much specially that she knew they weren’t siblings by blood.

If blood was thicker than water “Whose blood is thicker for you Levi?” she whispered, mouth running dry and throat becoming coarse as she bathed in the irony smell of her own blood.

With one last breath, she proceeded to look at the empty sky, the pain slowly becoming numb, last tears falling off to the cold pavement, before her eyes stared at the space, lifeless.

—Levi—

As soon as the light and the loud beep was over, he frantically stood up and searched for his sister. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw her across him, already fallen to the ground and taking her last breaths. He didn’t think of anything else but to sprint to her and be in her aid. This was all his fault, he could have prevented everything ever since they were children if only he was strong enough. Still, until now, he wasn’t able to protect his sister from Abby, she’d be dying because of him.

“Isabel!” his eyes widened in horror once he saw that a portion of her head was missing. Still, the part was devoid of any blood, and only wires stuck out of it. He dropped to his knees and caressed the remaining parts of her in his arms while he cried. This couldn’t be happening, he just got her back now.

“Big brother?” her soft voice, masked by coarseness of breath surprised him. He looked into her eyes which were now glassy, full of life.

“Shh, not now, Isabel, I-I can still save you, w-we can still make it out of here” his eyes searched for an escape some kind of help. Then he remembered that Kirschtein was just in the distance, waiting for any signal for him to call back up. He had picked up a flare from his pocket and fired it with a bright yellow light which could still be seen even in the dark of the night.

He hoped that their backup would not be late, they can still make it, he could still live a life with Isabel, she could still live if he acts now.

“N-no big bro, there isn’t much time” she wheezed out, yet managed to give him the a smile, the smile that he is familiar with. She is back, but not for long, this made his cries intensify even more, why was the world so against him? Why would it take everything away from him.

Then it dawned on him, Abby was the one who shot Isabel, if it weren’t for Abby, if Abby only gave them a chance, this would not happen.

“I know what you’re thinking” Isabel whispered. “Its not her fault”

“You can connect with me through the mind link?” he asked her, holding her hand while she shook her head no.

“The connection of the heart is stronger than the mind” she looked towards where Abby lain. “She saved me big bro, she had targeted a part of my system which frees me from the control and brainwashing of Zeke Jaeger”

His eyes widened, he was accusing Abby and even left her alone when all she did was do the best for him. Then he suddenly remembered the scars she had even before her dispute with Isabel. She wet past her breaking point already. His heart thumped erratically, he can’t just lose the woman he loves too.

“Its too late for my life big bro-“ he was about to cut her off, but she had placed her pointer finger above his lips to keep him quiet. “But, its not yet too late for her” she continued. “Don’t ever regret about you not taking care of me, the least you can do is fulfill my wish”

“What is it?” he asked her, kissing the back of her hand one last time.

“I had a great time with you and Farlan when I was a kid, I was contented with that, while her, I already saw her in the tube when I arrived in the lab. Even her childhood was stripped away from her Levi, I heard she was taken away even younger than when I did. Find out who she is, love her, and give her the lifetime she deserves, its not yet too late for her, her heart is still beating strong unlike how I don’t have one anymore” there were so many more questions he wanted to ask her, but with one last curve of her lips, her eyes fluttered into deep slumber.

He couldn’t do anything else but to hold her cold body tight in his arms and weep.

“I see you have disposed two of my most beloved and strong bionics Levi?” his rage went back up to him, adrenaline rushing through his veins as he whipped his head back to meet the man who was the real cause of all his hardships. The man who took everyone he loves away from him, non-other than Zeke Jaeger.

He was about to charge at the taller man with just bare hands when he was blocked off by another bionic with black eyes and black hair that stopped right at her shoulders. Her pale white skin did not reflect the immense strength she displayed when she kicked him right at the stomach, making him drop back to the pavement right away.

“Although I’d like to thank you for not fully destroying Abby, she will be of much greater use to me now that I realize I should have not given her to you” another bionic, a blonde one whose hair is tied up in a bun held his left arm while the black haired one held his right. “These two, are called Philomena and Hester” he pointed out first to the raven haired one then to the blonde. “And the red head you killed was named Winter”

“Her name is Isabel!” Levi spat out angrily.

“Ah yes, her old name before she was handed over to me. I should probably do a background check on my creations next time so that incidents like these don’t happen ever again” Zeke responded, pulling out a handgun from his pocket and prepping it. “But I’ll give you a hint about Abby, for one thing if you don’t know yet, she is the only bionic whose heart I retained, the only bionic whose full background I know of” he flicked the safety switch off. “She is unique, special, but you won’t need that fact when you go to hell won’t you?” the gun was aimed right at his chest. “So I’ll tell you her name, since you wouldn’t live off to tell anyone about it”

Zeke positioned his finger right at the trigger, softly pressing it and getting ready to fire.

“Her name is Hanji, Hanji Zoe” then, the gun went off, going straight through his heart that beat wildly.

#Levihan #fic #prompt #levi #hanji #4100 #chapter 17

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nightmareonfilmstreet · 6 years ago

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10 Movies We Can’t Wait To See At This Year’s Fantasia Film Festival

Ladies and Gentlemen, the 22nd Internation Fantasia Film Festival is upon us! This year’s lineup boasts from heavy hitters, including the World Premieres of Robert D. Krzykowski’s The Man Who Killed Hitler and then Bigfoot starring the legendary Sam Ellitot and Nightmare Cinema, directed by Mick Garris, Alejandro Brugués, Ryuhei Kitamura, David Slade and Joe Dante (who will also be recieving a lifetime achievement award). Also peremiering at the festival is David Robert Mitchell’s highly anticipted follow-up to It Follows, the neo noir Under The Silver Lake, the Spike Lee produced Tales From The Hood 2, and Dennison Ramalho’s (The ABC’s of Death) feature film debut, Among The Living.

There is no shortage of incredible, must-see films in this year’s lineup and it promises to be other banner year for genre film. The Fantasia Film Festival run from July 12th – August 1st in the heart of Montreal. Tickets are on sale now and can be purchased HERE.

Below are 10 movies that ewe can’t wait to see at this year’s Fantasia FIlm Festival. If you are going to be in attendance at the festival, let us know what your looking forward to seeeing in the comments below, on Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, and in the Horror Fiends of Nightmare on Film Street Facebook group!

Mandy

Director: Pananos Cosmatos Writter: Pananos Cosmatos, Aaron Stewart-Ahn Cast: Nicolas Cage, Andrea Riseborough, Linus Roache, Bill Duke, Ricard Brake

“The peaceful existence of Red Miller (Nicolas Cage) in the Shadow Mountains of 1983 is burned to the ground when a deranged religious sect fixates on Mandy (Andrea Riseborough), the love of his life and, as is soon made very evident, a significant grounding force in his universe. Things deteriorate into a tranced-out nightmare of insect venom, hard drugs and broken-minded delirium as Red journeys into hell in order to avenge the woman he once lived for. Blood will flow in rivers. Worlds will collapse unto themselves.”

Nightmare Cinema

Director: Alejandro Brugués, Joe Dante, Mick Garris, Ryuhei Kitamura, David Slade Writer: Sandra Becerril, Alejandro Brugués, Lawrence C. Connolly, Mick Garris, Richard Christian Matheson, David Slade Cast: Maurice Benard, Richard Chamberlain, Annabeth Gish, Elizabeth Reaser, Mickey Rourke

“At a forgotten, haunted bijou, a group of strangers have assembled to watch a series of macabre vignettes unspooled by the mysterious Projectionist (Mickey Rourke). Like the best anthology films (DEAD OF NIGHT, CREEPSHOW, TRICK ‘R TREAT), the stories’ tones range from truly deep, dark, psychological, demented horror to ones with a lighter, satirical spin. Witness a ghost story that will chill you to the bone; an exorcism story guaranteed to make your head spin; a B&W descent into clinical madness; a plastic surgery gone horrifyingly awry; and a cabin-in-the-woods slasher ditty with a unique twist you’ll never see coming.”

Under the Silver Lake

Director: David Robert Mitchell Writer: David Robert Mitchell Cast: Andrew Garfield, Topher Grace, Riley Keough, Zosia Mamet

“Silver Lake, Los Angeles. The city of angels. The dream factory where it’s all too easy to lose contact grasp of Earth and see nothing but stars… Take for example Sam (Andrew Garfield), a prototypical slacker in his mid-thirties, without ambition… though he does have an unpredictable temperament, a penchant for voyeurism, and an unhealthy obsession with pop culture. When a mysterious neighbor (Riley Keough) appears in the sights of his binoculars, then disappears overnight without a trace, the first-class geek cannot help but investigate – possessed, somehow, by the eternal spirit of the countless detectives who stalked the hot asphalt of LA before him. But a Bogart he is not. Sam’s unorthodox methods very quickly leave him confounded; through the looking glass and into the heart of a strange city where dog killers, owl-women, aspiring actresses and gurus rub shoulders, among other high-society demiurges pulling the strings of an entire culture…”

Terrified

Director: Demián Rugna Writer: Demián Rugna Cast: Ariel Chavarría, Maximiliano Ghione, Norberto Gonzalo, Elvira Onetto

“The lives of three neighbours in Argentina are turned upside down following a series of violent deaths in the area. For retiring inspector Funes, what was supposed to be an easy case suddenly takes a strange turn and he finds himself dealing with more than he can handle. Paranormal experts are brought in to assist in investigating what they believe to be haunted houses, where they will be tested by an evil the likes of which they have never encountered. As the night goes on and chaos is unleashed upon them, nothing, and no one, can be trusted.”

Tales From The Hood 2

Directed: Darin Scott, Rusty Cundieff Writer: Darin Scott, Rusty Cundieff Cast: Keith David, Alexandria DeBerry, Bill Martin Williams, Bryan Batt, Lou Beatty Jr., Martin Bradford, Kendrick Cross

“Horror is back in the hood! The sequel to the groundbreaking original film TALES FROM THE HOOD reunites executive producer Spike Lee (Honorary Academy Award® winner) and writers/directors/producers Rusty Cundieff and Darin Scott for an all-new gripping, horrifying and oftentimes devilishly comical anthology. Keith David stars as a contemporary Mr. Simms to tell bloodcurdling stories about lust, greed, pride and politics through tales with demonic dolls, possessed psychics, vengeful vixens and historical ghosts. Mr. Simms’s haunting stories will make you laugh… while you scream.“

The Witch In The Window

Director: Andy Mitton Writer: Andy Mitton Cast: Arija Bareikis, Alex Draper, Greg Naughton, Carol Stanzione, Charlie Tacker

“Divorced dad Simon (Alex Draper) brings his 12-year-old son, Finn (Charlie Tacker) out to Vermont to help him renovate an old house he recently purchased. Used to the speed of New York City, Finn has an impossible time slowing down to a smalltown pace, and he’s disappointed before even getting there. So is Simon (“I guess I was hoping I would catch you on the 12 side of 12, instead of the 13 side of 12”). Afflicted with a rare medical condition in which there’s a literal hole in his heart, Simon, ever resourceful, does what he can to make things good as he and his son attempt to repair what’s broken. Soon, a series of nonsensically terrifying happenings occur, nightmarish and incomprehensible. It becomes clear that they aren’t alone in the house. That there is more work to be done than either could be capable of grasping. That death is a partially living state. And that they are in a very special kind of danger.“

The Dark

Director: Justin P. Lange Writer: Justin P. Lange Cast: Nadia Alexander, Karl Markovics, Toby Nichols

“Once upon a dark, dark time, there was a girl, lonely, undead and bloodthirsty. Behind her a dark, dark past – a curse. Hidden in the dark, dark woods, she tirelessly haunts her childhood home. Mina (Nadia Alexander) is a damaged soul, and tears to pieces anyone who dares enter her hunting ground. When she meets Alex (Toby Nichols), a disfigured and blind boy, brought to her by mysterious circumstances, her animalistic cannibal instincts seem to strangely fade away. As this uncanny friendship grows, little by little, both of these lost children learn how to reach out to the hints of light left within.”

Cold Skin

Director: Xavier Gens Writer: Jesus Olmo, Eron Sheean Cast: Aura Garrido, David Oakes, Ray Stevenson

“In the early years of the 20th century, a young man (David Oakes) takes over the responsibility of surveying the weather of a secluded island in the Antarctic. Hoping for isolation and time for self-reflection, he instead finds a crazed and weathered person named Gruner, played by genre favourite Ray Stevenson (DEXTER, THOR, DIVERGENT). Gruner quickly reveals that there is more to this island than meets the eye and that below the icy depths, a terrible scourge lurks. The extent of Gruner’s madness slowly becomes more and more pronounced as his bloodlust for the creatures becomes apparent. Struggling for survival, the surveyor must choose between a madman and a legion of creatures he does not fully understand.”

Heavy Trip

Director: Juuso Laatio, Jukka Vidgren Writer: Juuso Laatio, Jari Olavi Rantala, Aleksi Puranen, Jukka Vidgren Cast: Johannes Holopainen, Minka Kuustonen, Ville Tiihonen

“Life has its downsides in a small, northern Finnish town. The local bros give long-haired, leather-clad Turo a tough time, and his job at the mental hospital is literally shitty. His crush on Miia at the flower shop is thwarted by the tacky lounge singer Jouni, and his band jams in the back of a reindeer slaughterhouse. In the plus column for Turo, well… there’s the band, even if these black-metal true-believers have never gigged in all their 12 years together (Turo’s concealed but crippling stage fright hasn’t helped). A miraculous crack at a major metal festival in Norway jumpstarts the quartet’s dreams, and Impaled Rektum set out on a metallic mission that will make them confront not only doubts, detours and difficulties, but also Vikings in longships (plus an elf), graverobbing, Swedish rocket launchers and wolverine-wrestling (dangerous… and awkward!).“

Dans La Brume

Director: Daniel Roby Writer: Guillaume Lemans, Jimmy Bemon, Mathieu Delozier Cast: Romain Duris, Olga Kurylenko, Fantine Harduin, Michel Robin, Anne Gaylor

“Mathieu (Romain Duris, DE BATTRE MON COEUR S’EST ARRÊTÉ) and Anna (Olga Kurylenko, QUANTUM OF SOLACE) are the parents of a girl (Fantine Harduin, HAPPY END) who suffers from a genetic disorder forcing her to live in a hermetic box that filters the air. This already vulnerable existence becomes even more precarious on the day Paris is hit by an earthquake, and then filled with a mysterious toxic gas that seems to come from below ground. Only those hiding on the higher floors and rooftops of buildings survive, but they are left stranded, without any resources. Wanting to check that their daughter remains safe in her “bubble”, Mathieu and Anna will have to face the fog.”

The Man Who Killed Hitler And Then Bigfoot

Director: Robert Krzykowski Writer: Robert Krzykowski Cast: Sam Elliott, Caitlin FitzGerald, Ron Livingston, Aidan Turner

‘The year is 1987. Calvin Barr (a too-great-for-words Sam Elliott) is not a violent man. But he is more than capable of violence if sufficiently provoked. What many don’t realize about the thoughtful, elderly bloke regularly seen at the neighbourhood tavern is that he’s a legendary WW2 veteran who many years ago assassinated Adolf Hitler, an incredible secret that he’s frustratingly unable to share. One day, just as he’s coming to terms with rounding out his life, Calvin gets a visit from the FBI and the RCMP. They know what he’s done, and what he can be capable of. They have a mission for him. After discovering that it harbours a disease capable of eradicating humanity… they need him to take out Bigfoot.”

Will you be in the Montreal area the next few weeks? Are you planning on seeing any movies at the 2018 Fantasia Film Festival? If so, let us know in the comments below, on Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, and in the Horror Fiends of Nightmare on Film Street Facebook group!

The post 10 Movies We Can’t Wait To See At This Year’s Fantasia Film Festival appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street - Horror Movie Podcast, News and Reviews.

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charlie-bradcherry · 7 years ago

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For the prompt thing ✨✨ "Killed him? Wait, what, literally??" Ship: Sabriel 🌈 (I might send a few more of these lol kinda curious to see what you'll do)

.“You killed him?” Dean asked in disbelief. When he received no answer, his eyes took a glance through the rearview to look at Gabriel. “Wait, what – literally?”

Gabriel looks as though he is ready to gouge Dean’s eyes out. “Yes. Literally.” He deadpans, flipping his archangel blade and catching it mid-air. “Satan is dead. You’re welcome.”

“How’d you freakin’ do it?”

“Pushed his face in the public bathroom toilets and made him drown,” Gabriel quipped. “I stabbed his ass with my blade. Wha’d ya think I did, huh?”

“That’s… dude, that’s goddamn great!” the Winchester exclaims, and Sam smiles when Dean looks at him. “Sam—are we celebrating this? We gotta celebrate this. Beer and pie. We are doing it.”

It’s not a surprise that Gabriel is silent throughout the rest of the ride, but that doesn’t stop Sam from taking a brief glance at the rearview to see what he’s up to in the backseats. He doesn’t say a thing, though – he doesn’t even try. He just checks, every once in a while. The hunter is not sure how to address him properly after what has occurred back at Elysian Fields, so he lets the silence stretch out even though it’s starting to make Sam want to bang his head against the dashboard of the car.

For the past forty minutes, Gabriel’s been fidgeting with his blade, eyes strongly fixated on the way it so graciously flips in the air and lands back into his palm without a problem.

Silence has never worked so much on Sam’s system until now.

Sam settles himself onto his bed inside the little motel room they’re renting for the night, and while Dean’s showering in the bathroom, he can’t help but watch how Gabriel sits idly near the window with one of his short legs stretched over the windowsill and the other limply hanging from the side. He’s staring out of it, his whiskey eyes dimly lit by the streetlights.

Perhaps now is a good time to speak up.

“You know,” Sam starts, opening his hands. “You did good, Gabriel. You saved us.”

It takes five long-delayed seconds for Gabriel to apparently be in the mood to answer back.

“I know.”

Sam frowns only a little. “You can still stick with us if you’re concerned about that. I promise that we’re not just gonna throw you out now that you’ve–”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

Gabriel turns to him for the first time since the motel room and stares at him as if he’d just said something remarkably offensive. “In case you’ve forgotten, Lucifer is… was my brother.”

“Right,” Sam says and quickly clears his throat, looking down into his lap with a shake of his head. “Right, of course. I’m sorry.”

“He wasn’t just my bro, you know? He was my mentor, Sam. My confidant. He helped me shape myself into a person when I was young and scared and lost, and I adapted over the years, building myself up to this—” and he stops for only just a short moment, his mouth slack and his eyes blinking into the darkness of the motel room. “—and I repaid him, by getting his blood on my hands.”

Sam doesn’t know if he’s supposed to reply, if Gabriel even expects him to. But he doesn’t nonetheless, he’ll end up trying to comfort him by saying that he did a good thing and that there were drastic measures to be taken in order to keep the world safe from utter destruction. But that is not something that Gabriel wants to hear and he knows it, so he keeps his lips sealed for now.

“This… the whole mischief fiasco is a mask to who I am, and it might have helped me escape my past, but it’s getting old,” Gabriel admits in a soft voice, staring back out of the window. “I led people to agony by manipulating them and playing them for decades like a Trickster. I am becoming a monster. I am becoming my brother.”

“You are not Lucifer,” Sam says. “Far from him, really—”

“Kay, kid. No offense, but you gotta stop with the pitying. Even through the silence, I’ve been able to feel your icky pity from here. I am not a fledgling in diapers and I don’t seek for your comfort, either.” Gabriel turns to glare at him, though he looks exhausted. Pretty odd for a being who is stoked on stamina for eternity. “Now you may be happy that his egocentric, narcissistic ass is where it belongs, but I’m not gonna be able to ever forgive myself and you cannot change a thing, okay?”

“If you’re not looking for sympathy,” Sam says each word slowly, as if unsure. “Then why are you here?”

They both hear the shower turn off behind the door, but they keep their eyes locked on each other—Gabriel’s glare growing more intense meanwhile Sam only furrows his eyebrows, not even close to a little bit puzzled.

But while he waits for an answer, he sees something in the archangel he’s never seen before. Desperation; fury. Sam’s seen him angry before, when he and Dean had him successfully captivated in a ring of holy fire and they started discussing his family, a subject that Gabriel is deeply sensitive to. But this doesn’t even come close to anger—the rage is smoldering in his eyes.

“Because where do I go?” Gabriel says, pulling himself away from the windowsill.

“You go home.”

“Home?” he almost chokes on his own false, bitter laughter. “Doesn’t exist.”

Sam scowls, leaning back against the pillows with his arms crossed over his chest. “This isn’t about going somewhere, is it?” he says. “This is about you being frightened. You know, the more you mourn your brother’s loss, the more I can see right through you.”

And that is it—that is it right there—he triggers something inside Gabriel, and Sam knows it the second the lamp on his nightstands slightly starts shaking and shatters into pieces, but he doesn’t budge from his place.

“I get that you’re pissed right now, but what’s so hard about admitting it?”

“You listen to me, kid,” Gabriel says in a threateningly low voice. “Try patronizing me again and I will rip your intestines to pieces with just a thought. Or better yet—I’ll rip them out of your body, barbecue them and feed them to my dog.”

“If you don’t like it then fucking tell me why you’re still here for fucks—”

“Because I need you!”

Sam knew that he’d spit it out sooner or later.

The blond clears his throat and breaks eye-contact with him, “I… need you,” he repeats, more gentle this time. “Because I can’t do this alone. If I quit playing as the Trickster, then I… I need a reason to go on. I need to find a new me.”

Before Sam can say anything, the door of the bathroom flies open and Dean whistles his way out with a towel around his body.

#ask #sabriel #wtf-is-happpening

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youreghanamissme · 8 years ago

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youth camps

There are a lot of things I’m proud about (and equally, many things that I would like to forget at the bottom of an empty pint of ice cream) and participating in Peace Corps-organized youth camps may be the brightest highlight of my time in Ghana thus far. PCV’s do a lot. Some of us facilitate health lessons in local schools, fund animal-rearing projects, help build ICT centers and libraries, build latrines for our community, and get boreholes constructed at our sites, but youth camps are one of the best, most rewarding projects that PCV’s churn out. Sure, it’s not a sustainable venture, but I think it produces sustainable results in the way we make Ghanian youth feel. As finite volunteers, it isn’t guaranteed that we’ll see those results while we’re here, but it squeezes my heart small to think about a grown Ghanian student who reminisces about that one week in JHS when they were compelled to critically think about their future, their wants and needs, their place in the fabric of society and where society’s pushes and pulls fits into their perspective; when they met other students, just like them, but from other communities 50, 100 miles away; when they interacted with deaf students and realized that friendship transcends spoken word.

When I think about that, I'm grateful. This is happiness.

When I recall the connections I’ve made with my campers, I regret forgetting that happiness. It’s so easy to dismiss our successes when our failures are imprinted in our minds like murder scenes–murder of our pride, feelings of self-worth, and consequently, the fear of failure. I try to think about Maya Angelou’s quote in moments like these: “People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.”

In the past month, I've been a group leader—from set-up to re-pack—of two amazing PCV-organized youth camps.

GLOW/BRO – Girls Leading Our World/ Boys Respecting Others. GLOW/BRO camps are regional camps. I participated in the most recent Northern edition, and let me tell ya what– it was fucking fantastic. It took a few days for the students to warm up to each other, but by the end of it, I wish we had more time. My group named ourselves Golden Royals because our bandana color was yellow. How fitting because these young people are kings and queens in their own right; a PCV in their community felt that they were exemplary and hard-working and leaders that needed a little more polishing.

Not everyone's English skills were on the same level. It was somehow disarming to see the disparity in English comprehension amongst JHS students across the Northern region. It goes to show that there are many elements at play in the Ghana Education System-- the teachers, the students themselves, external pressures (parents, the household chores), and the curriculum. English typically becomes the primary language in the classroom by Primary 4, and many of the JHS students in attendance knew little beyond greetings and survival English. But we needed to converse in English since not all students spoke the same language. Some spoke Dagbani, others Mamprouli, Linkpapang, and Ghanian Sign Language (GSL).

One of the amazing aspects of the northern GLOW/BRO camp was its location. The Savelugu School of the Deaf hosted us, and a good fifteen or so Sav Deaf School students also attended so that there were two hearing impaired student groups in addition to the five hearing groups. Each group also had a Ghanian counterpart—a SHS student or graduate to be a sort of role model (and translator, in many of our cases) to the JHS students.

Camp was set up so that each full day was devoted to a theme: health, business, and gender equality. The Golden Royals ate meals together. We had end-of-the-day group discussions to explore sessions that day, and the conversations within our small groups teased out the nuances of each theme. Sex. Pregnancy. Stereotypes. Self-esteem. Defining Success. Gender norms in Ghana. We tried to cover the big stuff. We made an effort to get as many Ghanian professionals as speakers as possible. It's one thing to have a PCV lead a session, but it's much more powerful for the students to see someone like them—especially women—center-stage, commanding an audience.

I was lucky to have the opportunity to lead two sessions: one on sexual and reproductive health, another on recycling used pure water satchets into zipper bags. The SRH lesson was INTENSE. I talk fast, so it became a funny and somehow laugh-at-myself awkward lesson where I would talk, my co-leader Jenn would translate my Ghanian English into even slower Ghanian English, and my Dagbani Language and Culture Facilitator (LCF) Alhassan would translate what Jenn said into legit Ghanian English with the cadence that the students could understand. No matter how hard I tried to slow down my speed, it was still too fast! It became more like a Q&A session as students became fixated on the STI's (and all the extremely complicated hypothetical situations of contracting an STI) and lost in all the technical terminology. It's kind of a hard topic to smash into an hour and a half... and still leave room to talk about consent and frame the whole discussion within a sex-positivity vibe. Ghanian youth are so used to getting abstinence-only drilled into them at school because of the cultural climate in Ghana. Sex is taboo, as it is in many cultures, but it's even more scandalous in a country whose population is mostly either Christian or Muslim. Unsurprisingly, teen pregnancy still happens here, like it does in many other countries. We tried our best to impart that it's OK to have sex; just be responsible and mature and make sure that you're ready. After, we had condom demo races where campers competed against and each other as they practiced saying the steps to opening and putting an external latex condom onto a penis demonstrator. When there is a lull at camp, pull out the bag of condoms!

And the sign language interpreters had to sign everything. Kudos to them!

Each day had a mini sign language lesson, and students would ask for more sign words and practice greetings and signing their names... it made my heart swell to see how keen the hearing students were in absorbing as much GSL as they could.

Camp was exhausting, but what a lark it was! It was my first all-around camp. I had group-led day camps before, but I had never been a leader from 6am – 10pm for a week! Despite the exhaustion, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

The Golden Royals Crew.

Some highlights:

Four of us arrived a day early to set up mosquito nets for campers. We didn't realize how potent the insecticide on the new, treated nets was, and you know how it is—folks don't realize how often they touch their face. By the end of the night, everyone's faces and eyeballs were on fire! It was horrible and a little traumatic.

One of favorite campers from my group, Gifty, still keeps in contact with me! She updates me every now and then on her successes in school. My heart melted when she gave a photo of herself to a fellow student in her community who was attending STARS camp to give to me. Printed photos are not cheap and easy to procure in the village, y'all. I was impressed and deeply touched. I can't articulate fully how much of an effect that the gesture had on me. Camp lives on, in a way, even when it’s over.

I still get the occasional phone call and whatsapp message from GLOW/BRO campers :)

The GLOW/BRO dance parties were DOPE AF! These young people had some killer moves. I took mental notes.

STARS – Students Taking Action, Reaching For Success. I tell ya what-- Peace Corps sure loves its strategically-derived acronyms. Whereas GLOW/BRO occurs all over Ghana, STARS camp was on a national scale. This was for the cream of the crop. The best students at their local SHS and JHS were elected by a PCV, and those students were the chosen few to attend camp at the Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology (KNUST), the premiere university of Ghana; #1 for the numero unos of our communities. Folks from all over Ghana congregated in Kumasi for this camp focusing on technology, business, health, and art. SHS students were at STARS for a full week whereas JHS students were only there for a few days. We staggered their arrival so that we can teach specific lessons to the SHS students who would in turn conduct teach-back lessons to the JHS students when the latter arrived two days after the former.

It was an intense week as every minute of every day was accounted for. We were in the big leagues now. Big city, college campus with college students walking around, y’know? We had to make sure nothing funky was going on with our young people. In that regard, GLOW/BRO was a lot more intimate. There was no one else on campus but us. The site was smaller. There were more opportunities for group bonding at GLOW/BRO too. Since I was a JHS group leader again, I only had about three days with my Super Black Stars (punnily and understandably, most other groups also paid homage to the STARS theme) before camp ended.

STARS was spectacular at encouraging the pursuit of high education. I don’t know if the campers felt the same effect, but the college vibe was a little infectious... like it seeped into my consciousness and my energy by osmosis. STARS did a good job of trying to bring it back to reaching for success, whatever that may mean. Some folks want to be doctors; others want to be fashion designers. How great is that? We had a university student Q&A panel. It was especially powerful to hear from female students who are in STEM share such aspiration and good advice for our female SHS and JHS students. Campers also got to tour the extensive KNUST campus. I woke up reeeal early some mornings in order to go on a short jog/walk and was in awe of how large and elaborate parts of the campus was. There’s a track, a gym, and an art department… I cannot fully describe how cool it was. So many student housing halls, all with their own personality! And there was a mini-mall ON CAMPUS! What?!

All campers got to visit the ICT lab. It was amazing. This was the first time that many of them used an actual computer. There are ICT classes in JHS schools, but it’s all theory. It’s fucking crazy—ICT teachers often roughly draw a desktop on the worn chalkboard and explain how to do things on the computer, like open a Word document, create a folder, or how to bold a sentence. It all boils down to memorization at the JHS level if your school doesn’t have a computer lab. Some students had trouble just moving the mouse. One could really see the difference between the JHS students and the SHS students. The latter were more exposed to computers and could imbed photos or change their font colors with ease in Microsoft Word.

To encapsulate STARS in a few paragraphs is rough. I really enjoyed the reusable menstrual pad workshop PCV McCrady did. We did yoga every day (what a work out for my stiff self!). The food was so good. There were meals where I ran out of soup and continued to eat my banku or fufu ball – pure carb ball, baby! Students learned how to do batik dyeing. Campers tried deep-fried, garlic-y curry eggplant (and hated it, unfortunately!). Professionals in volunteerism, business, and in STEM came to talk to them.

No lie – I was pretty burnt out right before STARS. I had just finished GLOW/BRO and had been busting my booty doing working group stuff (I’ll post on that later). I had just finished the first part of a bee-keeping training and a GRS malaria bed net distribution at my site. I was busy, busy, and busy… but I have never felt so low and alone in Ghana. I was dealing with a lasagna of stress, anxiety, and depression going on a month. I was managing, but barely. The last thing I wanted to do was go to another camp and be pretend-happy and pretend-cheerful. But STARS really brought me up. I am happy I went and met and worked with incredible people and saw a side of Ghana/ Kumasi that I’ve never seen. Definitely had a blast!

Some highlights:

I’ve never purchased a pair of TOMS shoes in my life because they’re expensive af. I also feel that the company culturally appropriates the shoe design of indigenous Chileans, but you can only spill so much haterade… Would you believe me if I told you that my first pair of TOMS are on the receiving end from Ghana? Thanksss, ‘murica! Really though, I don’t believe in the BOGO model of “charity”/ “international aid.” I think that model encourages a handout environment around international aid and takes away from local businesses (I go to a cobbler for my sandals more times than I’ve ever done so in America. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle is a way of life because of necessity rather than mindfulness.)

I felt it was OK to give students free shoes at camp only because it was an isolated event. It wasn’t as if we were dropping them down in a village (something I would not be cool with). I did, however, wish we discussed with our youth more about where the shoes came from and why they were receiving it, rather than just handing it to them like we did. I feel like consciousness about our impact as foreigners coming to volunteer in Ghana is vital in sustainability.

The STARS talent show was lit! I liked how our Ghanian students interpreted talent. You get the usual dancing and singing, but students also told jokes and performed short plays. The group leaders attempted to do the electric slide...

We had an activity where we literally set our “I can’ts…” on fire in a pot. Did I already say that STARS was lit?

I designed the STARS shirts. Schedule an appointment with my agent if you want to meet, bwhahahaha!

I know I share crumbs about struggling here and there on the blog, but that’s just part of life, and by extension, part of my PC experience. Life is a struggle, and I’m a work in progress. Fuck feelings. Sometimes it’s better to just accept circumstances that you can’t change and focus and celebrate the things you can. And camp helped me take a step forward in that direction. It reminded me that I do good work; that I am a good person; that I have friends who care and are there; that there is a world out there that I haven’t seen yet; that so much beauty and joy exists in just hearing “I will miss you” from a student. I fuck loving camp.

#pcghana #peacecorps #ghana #howiseepc #youthcamps #camp #campleader #ict #tomsshoes

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imagine-ikebukuro · 8 years ago

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tagged in a few things

more under the cut!

92 truths meme

Tagged by: @glitzcake thank u!

LAST…

[1] Drink: orange juice

[2] Phone call: a friend of mine, annika

[3]Text message: my brother

[4] Song you listened to: this remix, i’m obsessed with it lately!

[5] Time you cried: aw shit, a few days ago? last weekend? idk man

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] Dated someone twice: no

[7] Been cheated on: nope

[8] Kissed someone and regretted it: yup

[9] Lost someone special: kind of? but… more in a sense of drifting apart rather than someone passing away

[10] Been depressed: not diagnosed, but i’m pretty sure my mental health is not at its best at all

[11] Gotten drunk and thrown up: lmao yes and not only once either

LIST THREE FAVOURITE COLORS…

[12] grey!

[13] turquoise!

[14] burgundy!

IN THE LAST YEAR…

[15] IN THE LAST YEAR…

[16] fallen out of love: nah

[17] laughed until you cried: pretty sure

[18] found out someone was talking about you: people be talking shit 24/7 and all i gotta say about it: I DON’T CARE AS LONG AS IT’S ABOUT ME

[19] met someone who changed you: mhhhh, no not really

[20] found out who your true friends are: definitely!

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yeeeaaah? could’ve been in 2015, my sense of time is terrible Dx

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: 90% of people, 5% others are friends i’ve known for several months or years over the internet and 5% are random people or some “celebrities” i found lmao

[23] do you have any pets: no, sadly not ;;

[24] do you want to change your name: i’m fine with my name, tbh!

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: i went to the museum and ate sushi with my family and a few weeks later had a party with my friends

[26] what time did you wake up: today? 8am

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: watching youtube videos

[28] name something you cannot wait for: to finally be accepted to college and not being nervous about applying for university and everything, but have it all sorted out

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: she’s sitting in the same room as me right now

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: if i could go back in time, i would do anything to have my father and i get along properly today

[31] what are you listening to right now: a zelda remix playlist

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: actually, yes, i had a huge crush on someone named tom, he was two classes above me during middle school

[33] something that is getting you nervous: the thought of me getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow, ugh. also, general organization and planning shit, like applying for college, moving out of my hometown, living on my own very soon, being forced to meet new people, all that jazz.

[34] most visited website: i guess tumblr? even though, lately, it’s probably youtube

[35] elementary: 2004 - 2008

[36] high school: graduated last year

[37] college: i can apply for my first semester next week. if i’m accepted, i’ll start going there in fall this year.

[38] hair color: i’m a ginger, so red-brown

[39] long or short hair: short! i cut it into an undercut like almost 2 years ago

[40] do you have a crush on someone: no, i avoid that shit

[41] what do you like about yourself: my eye color?

[42] piercings: i literally got zero piercings, not even on my ears, but i wish i had an industrial piercing and i used to really want flesh tunnels, maybe i’ll get there eventually

[43] blood type: i actually don’t know :^)

[44] nickname: some people call me lilly, some call me li. the villagers in my animal crossing town call me ukeprince, wot

[45] relationship status: married to the neighbour’s cat which i saw from my window and went out for just to pet it about 500 times by now

[46] zodiac sign: virgo!

[47] pronouns: they/them, she/her, he/him

[48] fav tv show: at the moment i’m watching PLL (but i don’t like it at all so rip) my favorite’s gotta be buffy the vampire slayer!

[49] tattoos: none yet

[50] right or left hand: right handed

FIRST…

[51] surgery: i had surgery in my mouth last year and like mentioned above, i’m getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow, if that counts

[52] piercing: none

[53] best friend: she’s not even active on tumblr anymore, rip, her name’s lydia though IF YOU READ THIS, THEN HELLO MY BRO

[54] sport: i’m planning to swim regularly again after recovering and healing up from surgery

[55] vacation: if it counts, my first ever “vacation” was the music festival Rock im Park 2013 with my father and a good friend of mine

[56] pair of trainers: no clue

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nothing

[58] drinking: orange juice

[59] i’m about to: maybe get to playing some loz: botw

[60] listening to: still the loz remix playlist

[61] waiting for: anxious feelings to pass

[62] want: a huge cup of coffee

[63] get married: nopedy nope, i don’t fixate myself on wishing to get married. if it happens, it happens and i’ll be happy about it, but if not, then that’s cool on my terms, too!

[64] career: i’m working on becoming a teacher (i want to teach german, english and ethics in high schools)

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: honestly, it depends, but generally, i’d say hugs

[66] lips or eyes: eyessss

[67] shorter or taller: i don’t care, both is nice

[68] older or younger: as long as it’s pretty close to my age, i don’t mind

[69] romantic or spontaneous: neither LMAO if i had to chose, romantic, bc i’m as spontaneous as a potato, i gotta plan ahead, bruh

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: stomach! and by that i mean any kind of stomach! ripped af or soft, i’m weak.

[71] sensitive or loud: sensitive

[72] hook up or relationship: relationship

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: a nice balance between the two would be cool. let’s be real though, troublemakers always catch my eye, even though i’m quickly annoyed by them just as well wtf is wrong with me

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger?: no

[75] drank hard liquor?: yes

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses?: no wtf i’d be walking around half blind

[77] turned someone down: yes

[78] sex on first date?: no

[79] broken someone’s heart?: apparently so

[80] had your own heart broken?: at the time i think i would’ve called it that, but honestly, it wasn’t that horrible, so nah?

[81] been arrested?: no

[82] cried when someone died?: yeah

[83] fallen for a friend?: do lowkey crushes count in which you gush over how amazing someone is? platonic crushes? it’s a thing.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself?: i used not to, but lately i’m more confident i think!

[85] miracles?: not really

[86] love at first sight?: no

[87] Santa Claus?: no

[88] kiss on the first date?: sure

[89] angels?: no

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Lydia

[91] eye color: greyish-green (if i cry or sometimes late at night they’re really GREEN!)

[92] favorite movie: nightmare before christmas!

10 questions ask game.

tagged by @peacefuldesires thx!

What things make you smile and all warm-fuzzy inside? CATS no seriously, i can have the worst day, but when i walk home and get to pet a cat on the way, i instantly better. i remember coming home after my last final exam all upset and a cat meowing at me and purring and wanting to cuddle with me and i couldn’t help but smile!

What things make you feel a bit sad (don’t push yourself to answer this one)? my current family situation, there’s a bit of drama and fights going on.

What things inspire you to grow? anything and everything, to be honest. there’s new things you experience and learn every single day. things you conquer and master just fine and mistakes you make and all of them shape you into knowing what to do next time a bit more.

The last song(s) that you couldn’t stop listening to? i can’t really think of anything right now, uhhhh, i’ve been listening to the trust me durarara!! ending lately again haha

5. Are you an introvert/extrovert/ambivert? What kind (are you a shy extrovert, super confident introvert, or perhaps a really confused ambivert :0)?: i’m an introvert through and through. i wouldn’t say i’m exceptionally shy nor super confident. i’m somewhere in between. it really depends, around my friends i’m outgoing and cheering and with certain strangers, especially if i know i have to talk with them for literally no longer than 3 minutes right now (i.e. a cashier or someone you walk past) then i’m polite and rather talkative. i just feel exhausted even after spending a lot of time with friends, though the time was enjoyable, but i need my alone time for sure.

What calms you down? the triangle breath! it’s my favorite method to use whenever i feel anxious, upset, angry, or just need to stop and pause for a few minutes. you picture a triangle in your mind (you can even trace it with your finger, or if you can draw it on a piece of paper). you take a breath in through your nose, tracing one side of the triangle. then you breathe out through your mouth, tracing the second and third side of it. other than that, listening to music, taking a nap, petting a cat, watching videos of cats or other cute stuff, sometimes playing a video game.

A character that you really relate to (perhaps you have similar personalities, or maybe you came from similar backgrounds)?: this is gonna sound trashy, but saeyoung choi from mystic messenger and there’s a story behind it too. my friends were playing it way before me and told me “there’s this character that looks just like you, you know nerd glasses, messy red hair, always wearing a baggy black hoodie. he even acts like you, making puns and using memes ALL THE TIME!” and it’s true lmao. also, kaneki ken to some extent? like i really resonate with his personality, the choices he makes, his thoughts speak to me, he’s pretty harsh on himself and goes through ways that are self destructive if he can help others with it.

One thing you love learning? language, it’s just fascinating to me.

Angst or fluff? ANGST, I AM THE ANGST QUEEN, COME ON

If you punch yourself, does that mean you’re strong or does that mean you’re weak? neither and a little bit of both at the same time. let’s go deep in on this one and take the “punch” as emotional self loathing. bashing yourself down definitely doesn’t mean you’re strong, it doesn’t make you tough at all, it only means you’re harsh on yourself. it doesn’t make you weak either. you’re making yourself believe you are weak, but the fact that you endure that and still have the power to do so, means you’re tougher than you’re think.

MY QUESTIONS:

Now that spring’s here, what’s your favorite thing about this season and what do you not like about it?

What’s your spirit animal? Literally. Which animal do you think resembles your inner self and why? (maybe your Patronus, if you know it?

What’s your go-to order at a café?

Do you consider yourself to be creative?

If you could go back in time and change something, would you? If so, what? If not, why?

Where do you see yourself in 20 years from now?

Home sweet home, what makes you feel comfortable in your own home? What’s the overall aesthetic of your room, any colors, textures, an atmosphere, do you maybe keep many stuffed animals or posters or plants?

What do you think is most important when it comes to friendship?

What’s something you improved in since last year?

Werewolves or Vampires, which are cooler?

I tag: @imagine-your-party-hosts || @obsessivefujoshi || @dotaccino || @mollyxmousey || anyone who wants to do this

#i was tagged #shut up liane #long post for ts #not drrr

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cadladefed · 5 years ago

Text

Judgement Day Storyline Buildup

Judgement Day Match One

The Revival are backstage bragging about winning the Smackdown Tag Team Championships. They are dressed like to impress. Bullying some low level talent at catering. They mouth off to the room but don’t leave until knocking a coffee over Drake Maverick.

The Revival are watching the match.

#1 CONTENDERS MATCH to the SD! Tag Team Titles

THE CLUB vs DANIEL BRYAN & ERICK ROWAN – 22 minutes

Nice, long match to put over the strength of our tag division. Main Events show.

Underhanded play from The Eco Warriors in heat, fixating their attacks on Karl Anderson’s left knee.

Luke Gallows breaks up 3 double team manoeuvres on Karl Anderson. Gallows sacrifices himself to take out Rowan. Anderson gets a reversal small package, 2 count, Bryan hits his running knee… one, two thr-KICK OUT. Bryan sells shock for a movement before immediately applying a figure four… but before fully applied, the pressure is reversed onto Bryan. Rowan stops the ref for seeing Bryan tap to this.

Anderson breaks the hold. Turns ref. Bryan bumps ref.

Magic Killer. No ref. Chair shots from Rowan. KEVIN OWENS returns. Hits Rowan with chair. Hit’s Bryan with chair. Pulls Anderson on to Bryan. 1,2,3.

Owens walks up the ramp after the bell saying “That’s for Sami asshole”

Further bullying from The Revival to Drake Maverick.

Handicap Match

THE REVIVAL vs DRAKE MAVERICK

With an assist from The Club, Maverick somehow is able to steal a victory.

In ring promo and stand off.

WILDER vs GALLOWS

DW over

DAWSON vs ANDERSON

KA over.

JUDGEMENT DAY –

SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:

THE CLUB vs THE REVIVAL (18)

Your winner and new tag team champions, The Club.

MATCH 2

Build:

W1 - Daniel Bryan comes back to TV by attacking a returning Sami Zayn. Bryan puts Zayn’s famously damaged arm in a chair and stomps down.

Since Daniel Bryan was beaten for his WWE Championship, he has become hell bent on earning back his respect. He is feeling belittled and undermined, something he cannot abide with given his belief that he is the WWE’s moral compass. He thinks it is unjust that because Kofi had to relinquish his title, that Bryan is no longer eligible to a rematch.

W2 –

#1 CONTENDERS MATCH to the SD! Tag Team Titles

THE CLUB vs DANIEL BRYAN & ERICK ROWAN – 22 minutes

Nice, long match to put over the strength of our tag division. Main Events show.

Underhanded play from The Eco Warriors in heat, fixating their attacks on Karl Anderson’s left knee.

Anderson breaks the hold. Turns ref. Bryan bumps ref.

Magic Killer. No ref. Chair shots from Rowan. KEVIN OWENS returns. Hits Rowan with chair. Hit’s Bryan with chair. Pulls Anderson on to Bryan. 1,2,3.

Owens walks up the ramp after the bell saying “That’s for Sami asshole”

W3 –

KEVIN OWENS vs DANIEL BRYAN

Kevin Owens beats Daniel Bryan after a botched interference from Erik Rowan. Post match Bryan and Rowan attack Owens. They take a chair and place it on his arm as they did the week prior with Zayn. Only they think better of it… and in turn place it around his neck! They force Owens’ neck into the ring post and Owens is carried out on a stretcher.

W4 - The week after Bryan is promoing in the ring about how fickle and hypercritical the WWE Universe are. He is very aware that he is not in a particularly rich vein of form, but assures all that he is not to blame. He turns to Rowan and presents him with a kendo stick. He puts all of his recent failings on Rowan and proceeds to punish him with a series of weapon shots. Backstage Rowan is in the doctor’s office having shards of wooden plucked from his back.

W5 - Bryan protests to Triple H for an opportunity at the vacant WWE championship. He makes it clear that every quality you seen in AJ are evident in him. He also alludes to suing for discrimination in the work place dating back to the days of the ‘Yes Movement’. AJ intervenes and happily accepts Bryan’s challenge.

Bryan bars Rowan from attending ringside.

AJ Styles beats Daniel Bryan when a heavily taped up Sami Zayn prevents Bryan from cheating. Sami’s intervention stops Bryan from using a weapon and Bryan turns immediately into a Styles Clash. Bryan has been beaten again.

Rowan storms to the ring and chases Sami away.

* AJ is alone in the ring when Brock storms and F5’s his opponent for Judgement Day

JUDGEMENT DAY –

DANIEL BRYAN vs SAMI ZAYN (16 MINUTES)

Bryan gets his first win since losing the WWE Championship despite a stellar effort from a badly injured Zayn. Another botched interference from Rowan leads to a very believable falsey for Sami shortly before being caught in the LeBell lock.

Post match Bryan and Rowan again beat Sami down. They once again set Zayn’s arm up in a chair as they did previously, only for Kevin Owens music to hit. Bryan and Rowan scarper. Owens extends his hand and helps Zayn to his feet.

An alliance has formed.

MATCH 3

Build:

Several contests between all competitors, over multiple weeks, all fighting for the spotlight on a new look Smackdown.

High action, Indy scramble.

Winner of the below six man, qualifies for a spot in the MITB match.

JUDGEMENT DAY –

MONEY IN THE BANK QUALIFYING SCRAMBLE:

REY MYSTERIO vs ANDRADE ALMAS vs ANTONIO CESARO vs

CEDRIC ALEXANDER vs DOLPH ZIGGLER vs DREW MCINTYRE

(10 MINUTES)

Rapid pace back-and-forth. Cesaro takes the fall from Cedric Alexander.

MATCH 4

Build:

W1 - The double champ Becky Lynch is ruling the roost. Her biggest foes have not been seen since she beat the pair at Wrestlemania.

Beth Phoenix has her first singles match on Smackdown since returning as a full time athlete. She beats Mickie James in a bout that reminds all of how good she was.

W2 – Fatal Fourway #1 Contenders match for SD Womens Championship

Becky makes her way to the ring. She promos saying why she will beat whoever is the victory of this bout:

“Bayley is a precious flower, who ultimately can’t step out of Sasha’s shadow.

Nikki Cross is a mental.

Renee Young has no business being in the ring with me… huh… oh Alexa Bliss, is it… same thing these days. Except one of them headed up the much praised Talking Smack... and the other is linked to the tragic Moment Of Bliss”

Beth Phoenix paved a way for The Man to be The Man, but that was then and this is now so maybe go back to playing Florence Nightingale for your husband because I’m not convinced you’ve got The Glamazon in you anymore.”

She remains ringside for the match.

Beth Phoenix wins beating Nikki Cross with the Glamslam.

Becky & Beth stand opposite one another.

W3 – BECKY LYNCH & BETH PHOENIX vs THE IICONICS – WWE Womens Tag Titles.

The Iiconics lose via DQ. Tensions raise between Lynch and Phoenix.

JUDGEMENT DAY –

SMACKDOWN WOMENS TITLE:

BECKY LYNCH vs BETH PHOENIX (12 MINUTES)

Beth gives it her all but unfortunately for her, the better man wins the day. They square up post match before Beth raises Becky’s arm. Beth leaves Becky to reap the adulation of the crowd. Becky is on the stage when suddenly CHARLOTTE FLAIR returns, jumping the barricade. Becky is thrown off the stage.

MATCH 5

Build:

Samoa Joe is showing more and more aggression after Wrestlemania. He is sick of being overlooked and is taking it out on Smackdown’s newest asset, Finn Balor.

FINN BALOR vs ANTONIO CESARO – 20 mins

Finn over in what is hopefully a worldy.

Backstage an exhausted Finn is making his way back to the locker room when he is jumped by Joe and throws him through a pain of glass.

Joe is promoing in the ring. Finn is not around because he’s recuperating from last week’s injuries. REY MYSTERIO returns and mocks Joe for losing his US title before Rey could even get his rematch. He also calls Joe a coward for his actions. “Interesting…would a coward do this?” Joe jumps Rey but Rey is able to counter the brawl into headscissors followed up by a dive.

After commercial we have REY MYSTERIO vs SAMOA JOE – 15 mins

JOE over clean.

JOE vs CEDRIC ALEXANDER – 10 mins

Joe over quite strong.

Post match Joe promos and says if Finn isn’t physically capable of defending his belt, the workhorse Intercontinental title, he should be a man and relinquish it.

The lights go down and a message appears on the title.

“The man may be hurt.

But when a man is weak

He can draw strength

From his demons.”

Lights come up and The DEMON FINN BALOR is in the ring.

John Woo shotgun dropkick. Cue-de-gra.

JD –

INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE:

DEMON FINN BALOR vs SAMOA JOE (16 MINUTES)

After a flourish of high risk offense, Samoa Joe dominates this physical strong style bout. Finn is clearly still hurt following his attack some weeks ago. After enduring a heavy hit ‘murder, death, kill’, Finn is able to roll up Joe.

SEGMENT

Build:

Series of hype videos build to the arrival of Matt Riddle. Video packages get across the history of Riddle’s lineage in UFC and clips of him in PWG, Progress, etc.

The Friday night prior to the show, on Instagram The Miz announces he will be hosting a very special version of Miz TV at Judgement Day when he promises to once again, give us all “must see TV…. Bro”

* Miz TV segment * (12 mins)

Miz interviews new Smackdown recruit Matt Riddle who hopefully feels like a big deal. He has not been called up with everyone else, he has been saved and amped up accordingly.

The fans begin a deafening “bro” chant at Riddle and The Miz shut’s it down.

“I don’t care about your history. I don’t care about what you’ve achieved in the minors. This is the big leagues Matthew and as far as I’m concerned you’re reputation is built on defeating those not worth my time. I don’t care how legit you are with your flowing hair and sandals, you’ll never be The Miz, you’ll never be must see and you’ll never...” Riddle pump knees Miz.

Miz feeds in for a second strike. Riddle gee’s up big. Powerbombs Miz through a table in the ring.

As Riddle is showing out his music starts. McGuiness describes Riddle as “an incredible specimen, with the world at his bare feet. Truly a legend in wait.”

RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!!!!

Orton stands over Riddle.

MATCH 6 - MAIN EVENT

Build:

TRIPLE H is in the ring and explains that Smackdown is sans a WWE champion. He says this state of flux looms not solely over the blue brand moreover, WWE as a whole. “For too long as a business, we have rested on our laurels. We have monopolised the industry and have taken our foot off the pedal. Whilst the talent on Smackdown is exceptionally high, we have been guilty of not nurturing that talent. Management is guilty of failing to build the stars the WWE Universe deserves and that the roster is capable of becoming. We need a revolution. But a revolution calls for leaders.”

Triple H invites AJ STYLES to the ring. “AJ you are a once in a generation talent. You have against the odds attained success where no one thought possible. You are the standard bearer.

I need you! We need you! To be our leader. To be the leader this show, this company, Hell this industry needs!

Do this not because I deserve better. Not because the McMahon’s deserve anything. But because they do.”

As Triple H extends his hand BROCK LESNAR’s music plays. He storms the ring and kicks seven colours out of AJ.

Paul Heyman is promoing in ring about Brock’s creditials.

“We are in no need for reinvention. This is the era of Brock Lesnar. The most dominant, legitimate competitor this industry has ever known. Yet, because of his superiority, you as a fanbase, aren’t entertained. Brock has no interest in being and entertainer because he is a fighter and you people, you who claim to be fans of combat sports and belittle sports entertainment are nothing but a collection of uneducated, opinionated hypocrites.

Triple H’s music plays and he storms down to the ring to correct Heyman.

“The fans haven’t turned their backs on Lesnar because of his performance. They’ve done so because of his work ethic. The man may be my father-in-law, but Vince McMahon made the biggest mistake he ever made, when he tied your client up to the contract he has. Lesnar may well be dominant but when your schedule is as relaxed as it is, is it any wonder? An industry leader and generation definer doesn’t show what he’s made of 10 times a year but does it every Tuesday on television, all week on house shows and every PPV he’s scheduled to compete in.”

Heyman and Trips continue to bite at each other. Heyman states he finds it ironic that the man complaining that Lesnar has forged an easy way to the top, is the same man who slept his way into a position of power! Heyman jabs at AJ for not being in the same league as Brock, and for not having the edge it takes to truly define a generation.

AJ sneaks into the ring and strikes Heyman with an unprotected Chair shot. Heyman is left a bloodied mess.

AJ Styles is promoing in the ring. He’s confronted by former Paul Heyman Guy – Antonio Cesaro.

AJ STYLES vs ANTONIO CESARO (18 mins)

AJ over. Cesaro goes to use a chair after AJ kicks out of his Neutraliser. AJ ducks, rolls through into the Calf Crusher and taps Cesaro out.

Post match AJ goes to use the chair again but is stopped by Triple H.

Triple H confronts him and says he cannot go around attacking staff with weapons. If he lets Cesaro go, he will get Brock at JUDGEMENT DAY and in a NO DQ match he can have Heyman next week. AJ smiles, throws the chair out of the ring, and hits Cesaro with a Styles Clashes.

Heyman has been protesting since the announcement that he is unfit to compete. Triple H forces him to do so.

PAUL HEYMAN vs AJ STYLES

AJ is toying with Heyman (who is in a neck brace). Until Cesaro gets involved. After receiving a few chair shots (conventional), AJ hits Cesaro with a Styles Clash through the announcers table. Heyman is begging in the ring when Brock slides in and hits AJ with an unprotected chair shot an F5.

Heyman pins AJ.

JUDGMENT DAY –

The vacant WWE CHAMPIONSHIP (28 mins)

BROCK LESNAR vs AJ STYLES.

The bell rings AJ runs at Brock, ducks his clothesline and immediately dives to the outside, crushing Paul Heyman.

Aggressive match to not only crown a champion, but tent peg a new era.

All the shenanigans: Heyman distracts the ref, ref bumps, chair shots, etc

AJ incredibly kicks out of multiple F5 efforts. Brock attempts to F5 AJ from the top to the outside only for AJ to counter with a second rope Styles Clash.

He crawls on top… “ SHOCK… THE SYSTEM”

O’Reilly, Fish and Strong appear on the stage, Triple H makes his way to the walk way only for Adam Cole to make his way through the crowd and land a Panama Sunrise on AJ. Lesnar hit a final F5, Cole throws in the referee.

Your winner and new WWE Champion… BROCK... LESNAR

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