#i can’t afford going to one of their world tour shows and i’m SO sad about it

[sunshowersz]

phantom siita fan art + design notes from when “just wanna xxx with you” came out

[dreamkidddream]

I absolutely loved the doll! mc one with the brothers and diavolo. Could I ask for the same idea with the rest of the undateables and luke? If it isn't too much though. Thank you very much, don't forget to take care of yourself and stay hydrated!

I’m glad you enjoyed the first part!! I hope you’re staying safe through this pandemic and that you’re drinking plenty of water. I’m so happy that people liked the Doll!MC scenario so much (it even became one of my top posts and I was NEVER expecting that to happen 😳 click here to read it with the Bros and Diavolo). I got an UR card for Barbatos today and immediately thought back to this scenario cause I was just imagining the different situations with Doll!MC. Hope you enjoy!

Also, Luke’s part is strictly platonic, just FYI!

The Undateables (Minus Diavolo) with Doll!MC

Barbatos

Let me just say, you make this man’s day so much better

Your presence is just so calming for him. You could just be standing there (which is heavily enforced in the kitchen), not doing anything, and he would still be fully relaxed

Definitely loves you being in the kitchen with him, and will find ways to invite you so that you guys can spend time together

“MC, the young master has a tea party planned for this afternoon, and I’m afraid I may need your assistance to help prepare.”

“But Barb, I thought you didn’t want me touching anything-”

“I don’t want you touching anything that can cause you harm. I can easily handle the labor, but I do have a task for you...”

Cue to you sitting perfectly still and taste testing his sweets

“Barb, are you sure that I’m helping you like this? I don’t want to be useless to you!”

“Nonsense, MC. This is perfect. I needed someone with an exceptional palette, and you’re just the right person for me.”

Just you and him, and his sweet creations. What more could he ask for?

Maybe being in a relationship with you, but he is very sure that it’s going to be happening in the near future...and he didn’t even have to use his powers to know that

He stares at you a lot. He can’t help it, he loves to just admire you!

Barbatos is the type of guy where he doesn’t have to rely on words to express his love. His love language is acts of service: packing you lunch and extra sweets every week, giving you recipes that he wouldn’t even share with Luke, and gifting you mini accessories that you can wear with your outfits!

He gave you this adorable three-legged crow holding a cupcake hairpin and you’ve been wearing it ever since

He tries to hide his blush everytime he sees you and now he has to work even harder because of the pin lmao

HAVING YOUR OWN TEA PARTIES WEEKLY

You both have a designated day and time where you don’t plan anything in order to have your own tea parties

No Diavolo, no noisy demon brothers, no other exchange students (sorry Luke). Just you and him, enjoying each other’s company and him basking in your glow

If someone did try to harm you, he would already know of it and properly disposes of the problem. Lord Diavolo can’t afford to have any issues interfering with the exchange program, and he can’t afford to have anything happen to you so...no harm no foul, right?

Please continue to do what you’re doing MC. Stare at him with your bright, doe eyes and give him that lively smile everytime. It makes his day go by much easier, especially since he knows that you’ll still be there, waiting for him with your own desserts and that smile reserved just for him

Simeon

Was convinced that you were an angel

Lowkey still convinced that you’re an angel

Really, you just look so...angelic

Wasn’t upset when you revealed that you were in fact human; he was happy because this meant that he could show you around the Celestial Realm!

Speaking of Celestial Realm, be prepared for Simeon to be your very own personal tour guide everytime. This could be your 50th time up there and he’ll still try to point new things out

“And over here is-”

“Michael’s favorite resting place, since the lilies always seem to bloom whenever he’s around,” you giggled. “I remember Simeon, you tell me this everytime we visit!”

He’s a tad embarrassed

“Forgive me, MC. It seems that I get so elated over the fact that you’re here with me, I tend to repeat some things over.”

“That’s okay! I still have fun with you everytime!”

Oh MC, you’re too adorable!

Which causes him to worry over you. While he knows that the brothers and Diavolo (along with Barbatos) wouldn’t dare cause you any distress, the same couldn’t be said for the other demons lurking around, both in and out of RAD

But not to fear, Simeon your friendly guardian angel is here!

I am so sorry for the rhyme lmao

He may not have been personally assigned to you, but that doesn’t mean he can just let anything happen to you! He’s only doing his heavenly duties in protecting you! He’s also being a good friend by watching over you too, his little lamb

He wouldn’t attack anyone, but if he made a complaint or a very serious concern to the right person (Lucifer or Diavolo), consider the problem handled

You have your own tea time as well, and Luke would join you sometimes. But, every now and then, Luke would have to finish some homework or study, or Barbatos would miraculously call for him at the castle, or if it was just too late and Luke just had to go to sleep, then it would just be you two. Sitting by the fireplace, discussing matters ranging from RAD to your life in the human world, drinking tea that you would take turns preparing

Not to mention the downright dainty little cakes you would bring. One time you brought him angel cakes and he found so lighthearted and precious that he requested you bring them everytime, just for him

May or may not base a character in his new story around you

Simeon wants to shield you from the horrors that are surrounding you both. You’re so pure, he just wants you safe. From the way that you would dress to the way that your eyes would just look so amazed and innocent at him, he just knows that he needs to watch over you, always. The brothers do get a little wary when they see how much time you do spend at Purgatory Hall, but they know that Simeon couldn’t possibly have feelings for you, and you were always so giddy after leaving there, they couldn’t bring themselves to say anything

And Simeon knew that he was starting to feel more than he should. He couldn’t profess his love for you now in risk of falling, but he can wait until you get your wings. Just imagining you in your cute little Ceslestial Realm outfit (which he hopes still mimicked your current style) with your very own beaming halo was enough to keep him waiting and to make sure that you stayed on the right path

He deemed that you were worth the wait

Luke

BFFs! BFFs!

When he first saw you he could just cry

Someone innocent like you got sent down here with these monsters?! He had to keep you safe!!!

Simeon thought you were angel and then realized that you were not; Luke thought you were an angel and refused to believe that you weren’t

You didn’t have it in you to burst his bubble so soon, so you just let him run with it until Simon broke the news

It was like telling a kid that Santa Claus wasn’t real; you can only imagine how Luke took the revelation

Not well from what Solomon told you. Simeon kept saying he just needs some time to process things, and you just felt so awful about the whole thing

Which lead to you bringing him so much sweets that it made Beel jealous and very upset

But we all know how Beel can be around food, so it wasn’t a huge surprise. He chased you around all day and you had to use your pact to get him to stop!

And you promised to make him double the sweets in he forgave you so all is well

Luke was still obviously sad, but he wasn’t going to stay sad forever. Especially not after you brought this many sweets just for him!

Lucifer was not a happy demon when Simeon arrived at the HoL’s doorstep with you groaning and clutching your stomach. And Solomon took so many pictures of Luke while he passed out from his sugar high that he dedicated a whole album in his phone to it

Favorite activity to do together: Baking! (Obviously)

Trading recipes, shopping for ingredients together, baking things for each other to try (where really it was just to have double the desserts)

When you two are in the kitchen together, no one else is allowed (except for Simeon, but only if he’s looking and not touching). It’s now MC and Luke time, everybody else is gonna have to wait!

Luke only wants you to do the the activities that he sees as harmless: which is everything that doesn’t include sharp items and anything else that can hurt you

“MC get away from that! That can seriously hurt you! Let me get it for you instead!

“Luke, honey, it’s just an oven it’s not my first time using one-”

Too late, he already took it out of your hands into his own, mitts already on

Speaking of oven mitts

You guys have matching aprons and mitts!!

Barbatos may be a little bit jealous, but he likes the bond that you two have. And he knows that Luke won’t be a romantic rival so he’s alright lol

Luke is your deemed protector/bodyguard, and he proudly wears the title since no one bothers you because of him (or so he thinks). Everyone makes fun of him calling him a chihuahua, but jokes on him, when Luke complains, he complains

Won’t take long for Simeon or even one of the brothers to pick up on his whines complaints if he thinks someone is bothering you

Luke believes that while he’s small, he can protect you and try to keep you free from danger. He may be young, but he sees himself as the older brother out of you both (even though it’s really you being the older sibling and him being the baby). Always looking out for you especially since you’re too fragile to be left alone!

You’re one of the only people that genuinely likes him and don’t make fun of him. You’re dear to him MC, please don’t ever change!

Also, he definitely talks to Michael about you all the time so excitedly and sends him sweets that you both made together. Michael is a proud dad at this point

Solomon

Knew you wasn’t a doll but loved to tease you about being one anyway

Was there a spell that can really turn you into a doll? You wouldn’t mind if he tried it out on you, right MC?

Don’t tempt him please because he WILL do it

“Tell me, MC. Hypothetically speaking, if I were to purchase-”

“No Solomon, you can’t shrink me down to fit me into a dollhouse, no matter how nice it sounds. Besides, I can’t bake in a dollhouse, the oven wouldn’t work!”

“I can fix that.”

You’re very amusing to him for some reason. Was it because of how doll-like you are? The fairytale way that you dressed? How you were still human and was able to live with seven of the most powerful demons and not die? Maybe it’s the way that you still radiated such positivity despite being in literal Hell?

Honestly all of the above

TEACHING HIM HOW TO COOK/BAKE

Poor Solomon doesn’t realize that his cooking isn’t...the best

And you took the best approach in helping him atleast cook something that looks edible

You didn’t say his cooking was disgusting like some people (literally everyone else), so he took that you giving him lessons was a date of sorts

He wasn’t complaining. Your time spent in the kitchen was scenes straight of a romcom (no matter how cheesy it sounds); his arms wrapped around your waist and dotting icing on your pretty nose

May or may not have licked some icing off of you at one point, will definitely do it again

Solomon is a very confident man, borderline arrogant (Oh who am I kidding he IS arrogant). So yes, while people may see you as an easy target, he’s here to remind them that you’re not. And that if they want to try, chances are they won’t be walking away in one piece

He’s powerful, too powerful in fact. He may not be the strongest physically, but if even the entire student council recognizes his knowledge and what he’s capable of, no one should be dumb enough to test him (keyword: try)

But he wouldn’t mind showing off if it’s for you

You’re one of the only beings to ever peak Solomon’s interest genuinely. Yes, he loved to tease and bug you whenever he pleased, but you also made him want to come around you more and more. He was drawn to you, and that doesn’t happen a lot with him (at least without ulterior motives)

*coughcough* making pacts *coughcough*

You were the only thing that made Solomon feel weak, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Don’t get him wrong, he’s still The Greatest Sorcerer, but he couldn’t help but feel himself get weak in the knees when you gazed at him with so much sincerity. He loves it and loves you

Once your back in the human world, he’s going to be so selfish with you. I mean, he already kinda was now, but this time there won’t be any interruptions or distractions around to take your attention

Us humans have to stick together, and what better way to stick together than to be together, wouldn’t you say MC?

[literaryfic]

singer!cha-young & violonist!vincenzo au pt.1

don’t ask me why. i have no answer for you okay.

cha-young starts her career when she’s 5, appearing in a yogurt commercial. she’s not exactly a cute child, but she’s enthusiastic and disciplined.

her dad, the retired leader of a rock band who had a few hit songs in the 80s, is the one who introduces her to music.

she learns the piano & the guitar and takes singing lesson. her childhood is guided by auditions and music classes.

when she’s 12, a big agency contacts her and she signs a trainee contract with them. her dad is against it, but her mom and her win him over. she’ll be careful, they’ll look after her.

she starts training after school everyday, on the weekends too. she’s not really good at dance and she gets in trouble a lot but she’s the best singer in her age group, which makes up for it.

time passes by and the company starts to ask her to lose weight. her dance teacher comments on how big her thighs are. she’s asked if she ever thought about a nose job, or an eye surgery. those things happen a lot, and if she wants a sit at the big table, she’ll need to make some decisions.

her parents disagree, of course, but then her mother falls ill. she has to stop working and money becomes scarce. cha-young doesn’t want to bother them with her insignificant issues and so she starts a diet without any of them noticing. she needs to be thinner, maybe she’ll win a scholarship and her dad won’t need to work two jobs anymore.

her dad comes home drunk most nights, as if the sight of her mother made him sick. she was dying and her husband couldn’t even look at her anymore. cha-young doesn’t know who she hates more: her dad or herself for wishing she could escape home the same way he did every night.

her mom dies when she’s 15 and she stops taking lessons. she quits the company after a while too. she wins a scholarship for a good arts high school, known to hone musical talents. she meets new friends there, ones who don’t care about her proportions or her eyelids, and she’s happy in school.

her dad and her starts to argue more and more, until they stop talking. she fills the silence in her empty house with the music she writes.

after she graduates high school, she works two jobs to pay her way through college. all of her spare time is used composing, writing lyrics, singing. she posts covers on YouTube and she starts to gain some followers.

it’s not enough to make money but an independent label that’s been on the rise notices her. she signs with them after reading the contract carefully, when she’s 19. she choses her stage name, NOVA.

her first album is out by the time she’s 20 and she starts appearing on tv. her second album at 23 is her big break. her first hit song “Alone With You”, an upbeat tune contrasted by sad lyrics, stays on top of the charts for weeks, owing her the nickname of “monster rookie”.

people soon start to discover her easy-going, bubbly yet blunt personality and she starts going on more variety shows.

she’s loved and she’s found her sound, profound lyrics with innovative instrumentals, she plays with genres and concepts often, keeping her image fresh.

at 30, she’s one of the biggest South Korean solo act. she tours the world, sells album, holds events for her fans, travels. she doesn’t have to think about money anymore. she lives in a luxurious apartment in the centre of Seoul.

she’s learned that not everyone is going to love her. she’s used to dealing with virulent anti-fans, stalkers and paparazzi.

she has everything her 15 year old self dreamt of, an amazing career and devoted fans, a name people recognise and a wardrobe bigger than their previous living room. yet, she can’t seem to fill the emptiness inside of her.

she calls her dad once a year, for the new year. he still lives in their old house, refusing to move into the one she bought just for him. he teaches guitar to kids at the community center in their neighbourhood. her anger doesn’t seem to fade with the years.

she almost looses everything when her assistant, jung jun woo, leaks the fact that she’s had an abortion after she rejects him.

she’d been dating an actor a few years ago, and they had had an accident. she’d noticed too late that she missed her period since it was irregular and had to get an abortion. she didn’t think any of it now, there’s nothing wrong with a woman making this choice and she wasn’t ready to become a mother. she’d never once regretted it in the past.

however, South Korea’s entertainment industry was not a kind one, and a news like that would destroy her clean, quirky girl-next-door image she’d built over the years. and it did.

she’d never expected jun woo to betray her. he was part of her management team, one of her assistants. he’d always been cute if not a little clingy.

he’d confessed his feelings for her a few weeks back, claiming that he knew they were made for each other and that he would do everything for her and she’d laughed in his face. she hadn’t meant to sound mean or insensitive, she had thought it was a prank he was pulling on her.

turns out it wasn’t, and he had leaked this “abortion gate” to dispatch to get get back at her.

her label had released a vague statement, about “a difficult time in her life”, urging people to stop looking into “her private medical history”.

trashy tabloids and online blogs had had a field day. some people even started a petition to remove her from the industry. the news quickly turned into a social discourse when feminist orgs stood up for her. everyone was talking about it, some claiming she was a slut, others turning her into a symbol for women’s rights.

she felt like neither, it had been too long since she’d gotten some to qualify as a slut, and her label would have never let her discuss politics publicly.

she’d lost dozens of endorsements and deals and had officially decided to “focus on her health away from the spotlight” for a while (another statement from her label)

officially on her first hiatus ever, cha-young was lost. every time she tried to write, nothing came out. it would’ve been the perfect time to work on a new album but it seemed nothing worked in her favour as of late.

it’s 6 am when her father calls her. the last she’d heard of him was when the scandal broke out and he’d sent a vague supportive message to which she had responded “thanks, dad”. it was unusual for him to call, especially so early (or late).

she picks up the phone the second times he calls. “hello?” “hello, do you know the owner of this phone?” the man on the other side of the line is definitely not her father and he sounds rather annoyed. “yes, i’m this person’s daughter.” “great, can you come pick him up from my hotel room?” “your hotel room? is he okay?” “he should be. we drank too much and i have to vacate the room before 8. can you come or not?” “yes.” “I’ll text you the address from his phone.” is the last thing he says before hanging up. what a rude man.

why was her father drunk in hotel room with this rude stranger and why was she the one having to pick him up?

she doesn’t want to wake up her manager at this hour, and so she decides to go on her own. the hotel isn’t too far, a mere 15 minute drive, and soon enough she’s knocking on the door of a very expensive hotel suit, definitely not what one of her father’s friends could afford. who the hell was this guy?

she definitely did not expect Vincenzo Cassano, renowned world class violinist, to be the one opening the door.

[twomoonstwosuns]

the interview.

back to you [series masterlist]

previous part · next part

pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader

warning: smut (18+), swearing, fluff

word count: 4.7k

a/n: guys I'm so sad, this is it before the epilogue. I have many thoughts and feelings that I'll put in a different post but this would not be what it’s become without you so THANK YOU!

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“Hey Poe, it’s me. I just got out of my interview. I think it went well, but…I don’t know. We’ll see. I think I rambled a little bit. Anyway, you’re probably going into your interview now so good luck, I love you, you’re going to do great, and I can’t wait to hear all about it tonight. Love you, bye.”

Tucking your phone back into your bag, you walked along the boardwalk towards the café you were meeting Finn at for lunch. He had texted you saying he got stuck in some traffic and would be a few minutes late. You decided to wait for him outside, the view of the ocean sparkling in the bright sun too enticing to not stop and admire for a bit. 

The interview, at least, hadn’t been a disaster. The job was an entry level position at a small public relations firm looking to expand it’s teams. It was nerve-wracking at first at the beginning, but as you learned more about the company and got into comfortable conversation with your interviewer, you felt more confident. There were a few questions you answered that you felt nerves got the better of you, like four years of knowledge just flew right out the window, and you talked in sentences you weren’t even sure were complete. But the woman interviewing you didn’t say anything and at times seemed almost charmed by it. You could only hope. 

As you stood against the wooden fence separating the edge of the boardwalk from a large span of grass, a part of you could see yourself moving to Los Angeles, enjoying the sun everyday and taking weekly trips to Venice or Santa Monica to spend the day by the beach. It was incredibly tempting. 

But you’d be alone, your friends, family, and boyfriend a thousand miles away. You didn’t know if you could enjoy it without any of them there. 

Sunglasses perched on your reddening nose, the gentle ocean breeze moved your curled hair around your face. He sound of the waves was calming, putting you so far into a daze that you didn’t even hear the footsteps approaching you. 

“I promise, if you move here that view will never get old.”

Finn stood behind you, hands in his pockets as he looked at the ocean. He smiled when you jumped at the sound of his voice bringing you out of your calming trance. He took a step towards you and hugged you tightly, lifting you up off the ground. 

“How are you, nugget?”

“I’m good! I miss you. How are you?”

“Also good. Hungry.”

“Come on, let’s go eat then.”

Finn set you down and you followed him into the café, taking a peek at the menu before ordering and bringing a number plaque over to a table. 

“So, congrats on graduating! You’re a real life working adult now. Or, you will be.”

You gave him an uncertain smile. “Thanks…I’m terrified. I’ve had one job interview and I’m ready to marry rich and jet across the world as a trophy wife.”

Finn chuckled. “You’ll be fine. How’d the job interview go?”

“Okay, I think…they said they’d call me within a day or so if they want me to do a second interview. They’re interviewing a few other people so I might not hear anything until tomorrow or even Monday.”

“I think they call you.”

“You’re just biased,” you teased and Finn smirked and shrugged. 

“Maybe a little.” He sent you a wink and you giggled, his tone teasing but the vote of confidence greatly appreciated nonetheless. The waiter came by with the food, sandwiches for both of you, and set them in front of you. 

“So what’s new with you? I’ve barely talked to you the last few weeks…finals and all…”

“Well, I’ve been seeing a girl who lives up here.”

“Really?” You smiled. “Tell me about her.”

“Her name is Paige, I’ve been seeing her about four and a half months now…”

“Since January?” He nodded. “Poe didn’t mention you were seeing anyone…”

“He doesn’t know. I really, really like her and things have been moving kind of fast and I didn’t want to jinx it.”

“Moving fast isn’t a bad thing…hello, I met Kes after a month of dating and told Poe I loved him after two and a half months.”

“And he knew he loved you when Rey and I met you.”

“See? Poe and I are the king and queen moving fast and look at us! We’re happy!” Finn chuckled. “So, tell me more about her. What’s she like?”

Finn smiled and shook his head. “She’s amazing and beautiful and funny…she went to school for business and accounting but found it boring, so she’s worked tons of odd jobs…like, she worked at Disneyland for a bit, she’s an artist and she’s had her paintings featured in a couple galleries around SoCal…currently she works part time at a bar in Santa Monica and she’s an L.A. tour guide on the weekends.”

You quietly squealed. “Look at that smile on your face! You really like her!”

Finn nodded slowly and took his bottom lip and tucked it under his teeth.

“Can you keep a secret?”

You nodded and Finn grabbed his wallet from his pocket. He pulled out a picture and set it in front of you. The blur of black, grey, and white gave way to a very obvious shape in the middle of the picture. 

“Finn!” You gasped, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. The smile on his face was so wide you were sure it would split his face in half. 

“Ten weeks. Well, she’s twelve weeks now. We wanted to wait until the three month mark to start telling people.” You looked up at him, eyes wide. He looked at the sonogram adoringly. “It was a complete accident, so hopefully she likes me enough to put up with me for the rest of our lives.”

Your eyes watered and you smiled widely. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks, nugget. I’m so…fuck, I’m so excited. Granted, this isn’t the way I wanted to do this…I imagine I’d be married first…”

You smiled softly. “As long as that baby is loved, which I have no doubt that he or she will, then who cares how it happened.”

Finn nodded and grabbed the picture, smiling at it once more before putting it back into his wallet. 

“You’re going to be an amazing dad, Finn,” you said softly, placing your hand on his arm. “And I can’t wait to meet your girlfriend.”

“We’re coming up fourth of July weekend. Poe, Rey, and I rent a cabin on the lake and we spend the long weekend there. You’ll probably be coming so you can meet her then.” You nodded happily, already excited for something happening a month and a half away.

“So, when are you and Poe having kids?” You threw your head back and laughed loudly. “What?! You said you guys move fast!”

You threw one of your chips at him and it bounced off of his chest and onto the floor. 

“Yeah, not that fast! I just finished school, I’m not ready to have a baby!”

“But by Christmas, right?” 

You giggled and threw another chip at him, which he caught and popped into his mouth. Your phone buzzed on the table and you saw an unfamiliar number flashing on your screen. Finn looked at it and raised his eyebrows. 

“That’s an L.A. area code.”

You swallowed hard and answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Hi, I’m looking for Y/N L/N.”

“Yes, this is…” you said nervously. Finn looked at you with interest.

“Y/N, this is Jyn Erso with Erso PR.”

“Oh, hi…” Finn mouthed ‘who is it?’ at you and you held a finger up. The woman on the other end chuckled warmly. 

“I can tell you’re a little surprised I’m calling you right now.”

“Yeah, a little…I just left a little under two hours ago.”

“Well, I took a closer look at your resume and some of the work in your portfolio and, with your interview earlier today, I wanted to call and offer you the job.”

Your eyes widened and you stumbled over your words. “Wha—wait, really?”

“I know we said we’d call you to set up a second interview but I was very impressed with you today and I think you’d make a great addition to our team.”

“Wow, um…thank you!” You looked at Finn and bit your lip. “Can I…could I think about it?”

“Of course you can. I know you’re coming from quite a ways away and have a lot of factors to consider, so please take a few days to think about it. The number I’m calling from is my office number, please feel free to call it if you have any questions.”

“I will. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Have a good day and a safe flight home.”

You hung up the call and looked at Finn, your face showing a disbelieving smile. 

“I got the job.”

“Damn, congratulations!” You didn’t, couldn’t, say anything. You were still in a little bit of shock from receiving that phone call. “Or not…?”

“I….I don’t know! I wasn’t expecting this!” You sat back in your chair, crossing your arms in front of you and looking at Finn. “What do I do?”

“Well, you obviously didn’t say yes…did they say you could think about it?” You nodded. “Then you think about it.”

You sighed. “This job…there’s so many opportunities for growth. It’s the kind of job that could kickstart by career. Honestly, I’d be stupid not to take it.”

“But there’s a lot of factors you have to consider.”

“Exactly…I don’t know what to do.” You looked up at Finn. “What do I do?”

Finn sighed and finished off his sandwich, wiping his hands and tossing the napkin in the basket. 

“I wish I could tell you to just take it, but it’s not that easy.”

You exhaled sharply and ran a hand through your hair. 

“No, it’s not.”

》 》 》

The job offer was in the back of your mind the rest of your lunch with Finn and didn’t fully sink in until you were on your way to the airport. You spent the two and a half hour plane ride going through every pro you could think of: the job itself, working and building your career, a new city with lots of opportunities, and sunshine and warmth everyday. But there were also the cons: moving expenses, finding an apartment you could actually afford that was close to work, and navigating a new city. Not to mention your friends and family would be a thousand miles away. 

Poe would be a thousand miles away. 

You walked off the plane and drove home still undecided. Even the drive home couldn’t help you come to a decision. You were much too excited to see Poe and hear about his interview. He had texted you when you landed that he was finishing up with dinner and insisted on waiting for you to get there to eat, but you encouraged him to go ahead without you. Your stomach felt twisted with nerves and there was no room for food at that moment. 

You walked into Poe’s apartment and was immediately greeted by Beebs. The smell of garlic and other spices was intoxicating and you followed it to the kitchen where Poe was dishing it up into containers for you to eat later. 

“Hey!” He looked up at the sound of your footsteps, walking over and pecking your lips quickly before putting the last of the dishes into the dishwasher. “How as your flight?”

“Good,” you said, dropping your stuff and taking off your shoes. “Little turbulent, but fine.”

Poe smiled and came around the counter, leaning against it and crossing his arms. You could hardly contain the smile on your face.

“So?”

Poe smiled widely. “I got the job.”

“You got it?!” You exclaimed. “I’m so proud of you!”

He shook his head in disbelief. “I still can’t believe it…I’ve been pinching myself making sure it was real all day. After all the sabotage from Hux and our secret relationship, Leia really stuck her neck out for me to get this job.” You smiled proudly. “This is just…the best fucking day.”

The smile on his face reached his eyes, which shone brightly with pure happiness. “I’m so, so happy for you, Poe. You deserve this. You’re an amazing teacher and you’re going to make an amazing head of the department. Your department.”

“I haven’t accepted the job yet. I wanted to talk to you about it, especially because you just had a job interview yourself. Which, speaking of, how did it go?”

“I actually got the job too.”

“You did?! Congrats!”

“Thanks…but I’m not going to take it.”

Poe’s smile disappeared. “You’re not?”

You shook your head.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want it.”

“But raved about interviewing for this job. It’s what you’ve been talking about for weeks. You were so excited and now you got it.”

“And you got yours.”

“Babe, I don’t want you to feel like I’m making you choose between me and a job—“

“You’re not,” you stressed, taking a step towards him. “This is my decision. I am choosing you over the job and I’m perfectly okay with it. I’m just starting to job hunt and if I take the first job I’m offered, I can’t build up my interview skills and I won’t know what else is out there. What if I find something better? My gut is telling me this is the right move, so I’m doing it.”

“Have you thought this all the way through? I don’t want you to have any regrets.”

“I have thought about it. I talked to Finn earlier at lunch after they called me and did nothing but think about it while I was waiting for my flight and on the airplane. I was still undecided up until you told me you got your dream job, the one you’ve been talking about for months and months.” You sighed and put your hands on his chest. “You almost sacrificed getting this job to protect me…to protect us. Now you’ve got the job and all I want to be here to hear all about it at the end of the day. And I can’t do that if I’m in California."

Poe gave you a look of uncertainty and you smiled softly. “I love you. So much. We did not fight this hard for our relationship just to do long distance. This is what I truly want.”

Poe nodded and returned your smile. “As long as it’s what you want.”

“It is.”

Silence fell over you for a moment before your delighted squeals pierced the air. Poe had suddenly grabbed your waist, picking you up and spinning you around. Your arms went around his neck and he kissed the spot where your neck met your shoulder before looking at you.

“I got the job.” He smiled and you put your hands on his cheeks.

“You got the damn job.”

You pulled his lips to yours, the two pairs moving passionately together. After months and months of uncertainty and secrecy, things were finally going your way. 

“Do you want to go get a drink to celebrate?”

You smiled suggestively and shook your head. “Maybe tomorrow. Tonight…I want to celebrate with you. Alone. Naked.”

He smirked and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he quickly made his way to his bedroom, his lips connecting with yours once again. He nearly dropped you on the bed in his excitement and you sat up as he got on the bed next to you. You moved to straddle his lap and your kisses grew hotter, the passion just as intense but the desire for each other burning brighter as you ground your hips against his. You grabbed your shirt and brought it up over your head, Poe leaning in and kissing your chest before you could toss it aside. His dark hair was messy from your hands and became more disheveled when you yanked his shirt off. 

He smirked and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he quickly made his way to his bedroom, his lips connecting with yours once again. He nearly dropped you on the bed in his excitement and you sat up as he got on the bed next to you. You moved to straddle his lap and your kisses grew hotter, the passion just as intense but the desire for each other burning brighter as you ground your hips against his. You grabbed your shirt and brought it up over your head, Poe leaning in and kissing your chest before you could toss it aside. His dark hair was messy from your hands and became more disheveled when you yanked his shirt off. 

“You’re sexy,” you said as you ran your hands over his chest. He smirked and reached for the buttons of your dress pants. 

“You’re fucking sexy,” he retorted, dipping his fingers into your underwear and immediately finding your clit. Your mouth opened slightly and he wrapped his arm around your waist and started to lay you down on the bed.

“No, wait!”

Poe froze and you pushed him back to his position on the bed, his eyebrow cocked with curiosity. 

“You want to be on top?”

You smirked mischievously and grabbed his wrist, removing his fingers from your pussy. You brought them to your mouth and gave them a quick suck before moving down his lap and further down the bed, bringing his pants down with you. Kissing his stomach, your fingers dipped under the band of his briefs. He was already hard and you wasted no time removing his briefs and wrapping your hand around him. Poe let out a soft sigh of approval as you pumped him slowly. You swirled your tongue lightly around the tip and Poe let out a sound between a moan and a whimper with a very quiet plea falling from his lips. 

“I’m sorry,” you giggled. “What was that?”

He swallowed hard, his body ringing with want. “Please.”

You smiled up at him and wrapped your lips around him, taking him in your mouth inch by inch. His head fell back against the pillows, closing for just a minute before looking back down at you. He gathered your hair back so it was out of your face, biting his lip and watching your head bob as you sucked him off. A quiet ‘fuck’ left his lips and you released him from your mouth, your hand pumping him quickly and your tongue found the base of his cock. You ran your tongue slowly, teasingly up the length of him before taking him in your mouth again. Your hand and mouth worked in tandem, bringing him closer and closer to the edge each time he watched your cheeks hollow around him. 

But Poe wasn’t ready to be done quite yet.

“G—fuck….get up here.”

You ignored him, sliding your mouth all the way down his length until he touched back of your throat. The groan that came from him came deep from within him and it took all his strength to tug on your hair again instead of giving into the immense pleasure you were giving him and coming too soon. 

“Get up here. Now.”

You let him go with a pop, crawling up into his lap again. “Mmm, bossy. I like it.”

He smirked as you grabbed him again to line him up with your entrance. “Another day, sweetheart.”

You bit your lip and nodded as you sunk down on him slowly, a soft groan leaving your lips as he filled you all the way up. He attached his lips to your neck, his teeth leaving little love bites along your collarbone as you grinded against him. Your hand came back up to his hair, tugging the inky strands at the base of his neck and he quietly moaned at the mix of pain and pleasure. 

“F—ohhh…fuck, baby…” your voice was breathy, a sound Poe could listen to forever. The way you called him ‘baby’, even in the throes of pleasure, tugged on his heartstrings a little bit. One hand splayed across your back, the ends of your hair threading between his fingers. The other hand rested on your hips, his fingers digging into your skin as each shot of pleasure hit deep in your stomachs. 

Poe’s lips traveled down to your chest and attached to your breast, sucking small marks onto your skin. A symphony of sounds filled the room: the sound of skin slapping against skin, yours and his moans of pleasure, and his name tumbling past your lips with a slew of expletives. Your hand found his headboard, grabbing it to use as leverage and support as your body was weakened by pleasure.

He kissed up your neck and found your lips once again, his tongue invading your mouth and tangling with yours. You moved faster, your body becoming slick with exertion. You struggled to kiss him back, your quick movements making you nearly gasp for breath. You rode him hard, the both of you chasing the high you wanted so badly. 

You whimpered as you the burn in your belly grew hotter, the mind-blowing orgasm you always got with Poe building. Poe felt the same, having used a great deal of strength to hold off so he could give you the same kind of ecstasy you were giving him. Your body tensed and you clenched around him as his cock found that spot that drove you absolutely wild. 

“Come for me, baby…” Poe’s voice was also breathless but still held the tone of finality, like he was commanding you. The idea alone spurred you on further and his hands helped you slam yourself down onto his cock, your body movements becoming sloppy as you started to lose control. “Come on baby, that’s it.”

His thumb found your clit and he rubbed it quickly, the sudden addition of stimulation making your body twitch and send you over the edge. You came hard, your body shaking in his hands and a loud moan coming from deep within your throat as the iron struck white hot in your lower stomach. He held you still and thrust up into you and your hand shook the headboard, making it loudly knock against the wall. Poe gritted his teeth and his head fell back as he came, spurt after spurt of his release filling you up. You both slowed, the intensity of your orgasms making you fight to catch your breath like you just ran a marathon. Your head fell against his and he presses his lips to whatever part of your face that was closest to him. 

“You…you ride me so well.”

You let out a breathless laugh, allowing Poe to put both arms around you and bring you down on top of him as he laid back against his pillows. He rubbed your back slowly, neither of you bothering to move. His softening cock stayed nestled inside you as the both of you catching your breath in the afterglow.

“You know, I was thinking?” Poe asked after several minutes of comfortable silence. You hummed in acknowledgement. “You should move in with me.”

You looked up at him, your fingers running along the silver chain around his neck. 

“You don’t think it’s too soon?”

“It might be…but I also know this is what I want.”

He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering. 

“We went on our first date on Valentine’s Day but we’ve technically been dating since Halloween,” he said, the memories making you smile. “I know it was supposed to be just a one time hookup and then after that just casual sex but it ended up being a lot of talking. We were basically on dates, we just did sex first and got to know each other afterwards. So, in my mind, we’ve been together for about seven and a half months.”

He ran his knuckle across your cheek and you didn’t know if your cheeks were still flushed from sex or  if they were flushing from the way he was looking at you - with pure love and adoration. 

“If it’s too soon for you, it’s okay. I do want to move in with you, but we can wait until you’re ready. Just the fact that you’ll be close by instead of hours and hours and hours away is good for me.”

You took in every word he said. The whole point of your plan to decline the job offer was to be with Poe, and moving in with him would mean being with him all the time. There was a sliver of doubt that crossed your mind, that maybe you’d get annoyed with each other after living together for awhile and learning each other’s daily quirks. 

“What do you see? When you think about us moving in together?”

Poe smiled softly. He knew exactly what kind of house he wanted to move into someday. Since he imagined having a kid or two, he wanted a basement or an extra room to be used as a playroom. He wanted a big backyard with a large deck and fire pit for late summer nights. He’d thought about it plenty, imagined his future home many many times before you, but it became so much more clear to him after you told him you loved him. Poe had been thinking of you moving in since before graduation, but held off saying anything because of your job interview. He didn’t want you to feel pressured if you had gotten the job…like you had to give up the opportunity because you were moving. 

He wanted all that with you, but he wouldn’t sacrifice your future to make his come true.

“Well…” He started, making sure to word things carefully so he wouldn’t scare you with how much he’d thought this through. “For now, we’d find a bigger apartment or a townhouse to rent…somewhere where there’s enough space for all of your things as well as mine…I think we’ve seen enough of the inside of this apartment.” You laughed lightly and nodded. “Maybe find one with an extra room we can turn into an office for us to work in. Eventually I’d like to buy a house, but I think that’s a few years away still.”

Though Poe was sparing you details, you could tell he’d been put a lot of thought into it. You didn’t blame him, he was in his early thirties and wanting to start settling down and building a life. You were still young, twenty-two with all the adventures of your twenties waiting for you…but you couldn’t imagine doing any of them without Poe. Navigating your way into the world post-education was going to be difficult. Nothing is promised. But having a place of your own to come home to with someone you loved, where you could relax and unwind and have that feeling of comfort and safety…you wanted that. 

“That’s just what I’ve been thinking. We certainly don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” His voice brought you back from our own thoughts and you nodded slowly and continued to play with his necklace. 

“You know I was talking to Finn earlier about how we move fast but everything’s worked out pretty good so far.” You shrugged, biting back the wide smile that was threatening to take over your face. “I don’t see why we should stop now.”

A smile slowly spread across Poe’s face. “Really?”

You nodded and sat up a little bit so you were hovering over him. 

“Let’s start looking. See what we find. In the meantime…”

“You’ll move in with me?” He asked hopefully, his eyes lighting up like a kid in a candy store. You smiled widely. 

“I would love to move in.” Poe leaned up and kissed your lips squarely and surely. “I can leave now, start packing…”

“Oh no,” Poe smirked as he wiggled his eyebrows. “You’re not going anywhere. Tonight, we celebrate.”

He rolled you over onto your back, never separating from you and burying his face in your neck and kissing it all over. Your laughter filled the room and you kissed him passionately, the room soon filling with different noises of pure happiness. 

You couldn’t wait to start your future with him. 

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[amysteriousmessenger]

I love reading your headcanons so much!!!

May I request: rfa with an mc who likes musicals?

anon, if you like any gothic musicals please look into Elisabeth Das Musical! It’s so good, genuinely on the same level as phantom of the opera <3 I’m also throwing V and Saeran in here for my own enjoyment because he dressed as The Phantom for Halloween~ I hope you enjoy!!

Yoosung Kim with an MC who loves musicals Headcanons

Yoosung hadn’t really taken any interest in musicals before meeting you, aside from vaguely knowing what Zen’s job is like and how much he has to work out. He always takes the opportunity to avoid doing his class work, however, so would be more than willing to watch a couple of them with you! 

He ends up enjoying upbeat musicals and is particularly fond of Hairspray and Hamilton! Yoosung absolutely has a new appreciation for Zen’s work and is so happy to have something else that he can share with you. 

He’s just a student, so he can’t afford extravagant gifts like tickets but he’ll try to get you merch items for your birthday or anniversary such as little posters and badges.

If you’re ever having a bad day, Yoosung will make an extra effort to put on one of your favourite musicals and cook an Omurice with extra love for you. He’ll get under the blanket and cuddle you to make you feel better. 

Zen/Hyun Ryu with an MC who loves musicals Headcanons 

My god, you’re his dream. He won’t have to worry about you thinking his career choice is unstable or pointless because you get it, you understand the appeal and love for musical theatre and the power it can have as an art form.

He’ll make sure you get the best tickets to his performance, and backstage passes to meet any of his co-stars if you’re a fan of their previous works. He doesn’t mind introducing you to them, as long as he’s still your favourite performer afterwards.

You get first dibs when the merch stall opens, and he’ll even try his best to get you any crew-only merch such as T-shirts or hoodies.

Your Friday nights together are spent on the sofa, watching various musicals and discussing them with Zen and how good he would be in the lead role. As well as singing along. There is a lot of singing involved. They aren’t always musicals that he’s been in because he likes to look around and enjoy different shows, but you can guarantee you will be watching a lot of his own DVDs.

He’ll ask you to help him with his lines, which is something you’d both enjoy, and you’re caught frequently duetting various songs with him. He gets really into it, sweeping you off your feet and into a dip. 

He gets extra soft when he hears you singing one of the love songs he’s performed in the shower and will do something embarrassing like singing the other half of the duet with you through the bathroom door.

Jaehee Kang with an MC who loves musicals Headcanons

Like Zen, Jaehee truly thinks she hit the Jackpot with you. She’s so happy to have a partner equally excited over musical theatre as it’s her main interest and form of escapism. 

The majority of your time spend unwinding together would be with one of Zen’s musicals on the TV. Jaehee is also interested in musicals from other countries, because then the both of you can talk about how well Zen would perform as certain characters, or how great his voice would sound singing a particular song. 

The absolute intensity when it comes to Ticket drops cannot be overstated, you’re both sitting there with a laptop and phone each- ready for the counter to drop and you’re each logging in. Jaehee’s more experienced so she goes for the seats you Want and you go for the seats you’ll settle for assuming that Jaehee didn’t get the priority ones in time. 

There aren’t dramatic duets or anything like that because Jaehee isn’t a loud person, but she enjoys quietly singing to herself and having you come up behind her, holding her waist and singing with her.

Jumin Han with an MC who loves musicals Headcanons

Jumin has never really seen the appeal of musical theatre, and any interested that he had in it was entirely dowsed by his annoyance for Zen. He prefers more ‘refined’ forms of live performance so it would take a few attempts before he’s willing to watch a DVD with you. 

He doesn’t mind it as much as he initially thought, but he’s not a fan of the more bawdy shows. He prefers melancholic stories with ballads such as Les Misérables. He’s much more interested in you enjoying yourself and him getting to enjoy your company and seeing you happy.

He’d gift you Priority VIP package seating with a Meet and Greet whenever there was a new show touring that you wanted to see: much to Zen’s annoyance that Jumin can just buy anything he wants with money, and then Jumin reminding him that Zen wouldn’t have a job if people didn’t pay to watch actors perform.

He’s a little bit jealous that you have something you can talk to Zen about more than him, so he definitely tries to apply himself more to the shows you’re the most interested in so he can talk to you about it and not feel upstaged.

Bonus: he was initially intrigued about CATS the musical because he thought maybe it would be actual cats, and then was promptly horrified by what he saw.

Saeyoung Choi with an MC who loves musicals Headcanons 

Little known fact but Seven does actually enjoy musicals. He doesn’t really have a lot of time to watch things like that, but when you want him to spend time with you and pick one he does he’ll always put a stupid one on. His favourite? Shrek the musical.

He definitely prefers the comedic shows, but if you want to watch something sad then he’s fine with watching that to since he’ll be glancing at you for the most part anyway. He likes watching you enjoy the things you’re passionate about.

Besides, if he can sense a sad part coming up or notices that your lip has started to tremble, he’ll do a big, dramatic but supposedly nonchalant yawn and wrap his arm around your shoulders.

This man absolutely belts out all the songs that he likes, and will also frequently pull you in to duet with him, whether you’re busy or not. he’s also someone that definitely sings to himself in the shower, but has no shame about it, so will just sing Candy Store from Heathers at the top of his lungs. 

[GOOD ENDING] Saeran Choi with an MC who loves musicals Headcanons 

Saeran had never seen a musical before, the closest thing he’s seen are holiday choirs at the cathedral, but he’s very looking forward to experiencing something new and getting to share in one of your precious hobbies. 

You decide to watch Phantom of the Opera together, since it was one of your favourites and a very popular one, so something good to start with. It was also very visually pretty to look at, so you thought Saeran would enjoy it. Which he does! So far, his favourite songs are ‘Think of Me’ and ‘Music of the Night’.

He tells you with a smile that Ray is enjoying himself, even if he is crying for The Phantom. Saeran eyes also water slightly towards the end of the Final Lair scene, so you cuddle a bit closer to him.

Saeran really starts enjoying musicals, and you catch him humming a few songs to various ones he likes whilst he’s cooking or tending to the garden.

He’s not really a fan of big Broadway ones, much preferring ones with softer music that are less in-your-face. He wouldn’t mind going to see a musical in person in the future, if there are any you particularly want to watch or if Zen wants people to come to see his performance. 

Jihyun Kim/V with an MC who loves musicals Headcanons

V has a lot of connections in the Art world, and people who feel indebted to him, so he would be able to get you early access to tickets as a gift. He’s so happy that you’re sharing another piece of yourself with him, so he will treat it with upmost respect.

He enjoys musicals, but like Jumin, he doesn’t particularly care for bawdy or overly dramatic ones. He is, however, fond of the ones that Zen’s in from when he used to watch them with Rika. So whilst he’s tentative to watch them again, he wants to replace the negative connotations with ones made entirely of you. 

He prefers older shows, since the more modern Broadway and West End ones are a little too much for his taste, but he’ll watch any that you want him to. He appreciates the artistry behind every performance and he feels as though he understands Zen a little bit better again, and he’s thankful for it.

If he hasn’t opted for his eye surgery, he’d prefer a seat close enough that he can still more or less make out what is happening on stage but V can enjoy the music and the atmosphere regardless.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #239: Late Night of the Super-Stars!

January, 1984

1984! Can’t wait to make a bunch of Orwell jokes that are poorly thought out and land poorly!

But I guess it’ll have to wait since we’re on Late Night with David Letterman in this issue.

This sure is an interesting turn of events. Although the team we see on the cover doesn’t seem to be the actually active roster. They’re over in the corner box turned away - either from shame or because they’re off doing their own thing.

Because its Assistant Editors’ Month!

A fun-sounding non-event. Although, looking it up, very few books that were considered part of the event actually did anything with it beyond a slightly goofy issue box on the cover.

So we’re going to see some Avengers go on a talk show today.

Superheroes as celebrities! What a novel idea.

Anyway, I learned an interesting detail about the cover that would have totally missed me. The checkerboard strip at the top was a hallmark of DC comics around this time. And the round MC logo in the top right is an obvious spoof of the DC logo from this time.

It’s not much more than a goof for this book but the Captain America book released for Assistant Editors’ Month also had the checkerboard and logo and was a style parody of DC comics.

Last times: Vision went into a robo-coma from walking into an invisible dome created by Annihilus and only recently recovered the ability to talk. New Avenger Starfox hooked Vision up to ISAAC the Titan computer and overclocked Vision’s robot brain so now he can project himself as a hologram and has an even faster computer brain. At the end of Avengers #238, the Avengers got a call from Tigra about some nonsense going on in San Francisco involving Spider-Woman.

Meanwhile, Hawkeye got a whole miniseries all to himself where he met Mockingbird, lost his job at Cross Technological, his girlfriend revealed that she was paid to date him and also hated him, he teamed up with Mockingbird to uncover an evil scheme by Crossfire to kill all superheroes, Hawkeye lost his hearing by putting an ultrasonic arrowhead in his mouth but foiled the scheme plot, and married Mockingbird. He’s had a very busy week or so!

This time: Hawkeye comes back to the Avengers Mansion to show off his cool new wife.

Hawkeye: “Hey, everybody -- your wanderin’ boy Hawkeye has come home... And you’ll never guess what I’ve gone and done!”

I can just imagine Mockingbird replying “Me” with the biggest shit-eating grin. She feels the sort to do that.

When Hawkeye and Mockingbird arrive there’s no one to greet them except the floating disembodied hologram head of the Wizard of Vizh.

Hawkeye has also made the decision, for some reason, to not wear the hearing aid that Mockingbird got him so he can’t hear what Vision is saying when he compliments his new costume.

Mockingbird introduces herself for Hawkeye and Vision tells the two to join him in the medical labs so they can catch up.

When they arrive, Vision raises his volume so Hawkeye can hear and recaps everything that’s happened to lead up to him becoming a robot in a tube who can hologram around.

Vision: “[Starfox] set up a direct link between ISAAC, the world-computer of Titan, to better diagnose my condition. But, instead, my brain became overloaded with ISAAC’s energy-information matrix --!”

Hawkeye: “And you became several with the universe, right?”

Vision: “‘Several with the’ --? Oh -- hah-ha! Very witty!”

Overclocking his brain seems to have done wonders for Vision’s sense of humor.

He even finds Hawkeye funny now.

Vision also explains where the dickens everyone else is (because Hawkeye asks him where the dickens they are. Its so weird for Hawkeye to say dickens).

Jarvis was given the day off to visit his mother, Captain America and Thor are both busy with nonsense in their own books, and the rest of the Avengers are off to San Francisco because of that call from Tigra.

Hawkeye offers to fly out and give them a hand, which Vision declines since they’ll call if they need help.

Instead he asks Hawkeye how he met Mockingbird and Hawkeye recaps the miniseries in only five panels.

He’s better at this than I am...

Hawkeye: “Anyway, Mockingbird and I had made a pretty good team -- so when it was all over, we ran off and got married!”

Mockingbird: “What can I say? The big lug needed somebody to keep him out of trouble!”

That’s the task of a lifetime, Bobbi. But good for you two! Cute couple is what I say.

Vision: “Marvelous! I hope you two will be as happy together as Wanda and I have been!"

Vision and Scarlet Witch probably are the healthiest superhero marriage of this time.

Vision asks if Hawkeye and Mockingbird intend to stay in the mansion, which they do. But it’s cool because Mockingbird has security clearance from working with SHIELD so they won’t need to bother Mr. Sikorsky and agitate his hatred of living in the superhero genre.

After Hawkeye takes Mockingbird off on a tour of the mansion, Vision receives a call from his brain brother, Wonder Man.

Who, very reluctantly, is coming to the Avengers with hat in hand. So to speak.

Wonder Man: “Okay. Here’s the situation -- my acting career hasn’t been going anywhere lately! So my agent, without my approval -- used the fact that I’m a reserve Avenger to get me a booking on David Letterman’s show, and now, they want me to bring other Avengers along with me! My agent really put me in a tight spot on this one. I hate to impose, but -- !”

Vision: “It’s no imposition at all, Simon! I’ll personally call the network and confirm the Avengers’ appearance!”

Wonder Man: “You’re sure it’s no trouble?”

Vision: “None whatsoever! After all, we have many Avengers -- !”

You sure do! Not as many as you’ll have by the No Surrender days. But still.

Also, I love this can-do attitude from you, Vision!

This is a pretty low priority in terms of fighting crime and whatnot but Vision is like THIS IS EXTREMELY DOABLE, I AM THE INTERNET.

Although imagine how sad it is from Wonder Man’s perspective. His agent put him on the spot pulling sorta-rank to get Simon some media attention but the media is like ‘ok but do you have something better?’

This man is trying to improve his career and the David Letterman show looked at him and said ‘ok but what else have you got?’

Oof!

Anyway, Vision uses the superpower of being wired into the phone system to call up some extra Avengers who aren’t very busy right now.

He calls Black Panther, Beast, and Black Widow.

Their varied responses are pretty funny.

But Black Panther’s is probably the best. He interrupts a meeting with his advisers to take the call and then he’s like ‘yeah sure I can drop everything I’m doing to appear on David Letterman!’

T’Challa really would rather be doing anything but kinging.

Beast initially protests that he’s too busy with the Defenders to just jump on some Avengers business but...

Beast: “The Letterman show? Hey, why didn’t you say so?”

And Black Widow is unbusy sunbathing at the Waldorf Towers while between missions. She doesn’t really want to make a television appearance (it’s kinda counterproductive for a spy, I would guess) but Vision mentions something that has Natasha agree to be there.

Based on what happens later, I guess Vision mentions that Hawkeye will be there.

A couple hours later, ELSEWHERE, well if it isn’t our ol’ friend and punchline Fabian Stankowicz!

Remember this goofus? He attacked the Avengers right when everyone was feeling bad about Hank Pym? Iron Man easily beat him up while the rest of the Avengers breezed on by. Or when he attacked Wasp’s cool superheroine brunch? Which was a hilariously terrible idea because he got between She-Hulk and breakfast foods. Also, nobody took him very seriously there either.

I guess the Avengers didn’t bother to press charges either time because he’s not in jail. He’s at his home working on some machines while his dad criticizes how he spends his time.

Dads, amirite?

Granted, what he’s criticizing is Fabian’s tendency to pick fights with superheroes. And... granted. Not a great use of his time.

But apparently Fabian can afford all the robot suits he keeps attacking the Avengers with because he won the lottery.

So he has a pretty good position to shoot down his dad’s protests, really.

Dad Stankowicz: “Fabian, I’m glad your poor mother didn’t live to see what’s become of you... It would’ve broken her heart!”

Fabian Stankowicz: “Aw, gimme a break, old man!”

Dad Stankowicz: “‘Old man’? This is the way you talk to your father?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “What do you want, egg in your beer? Was it you who won the state lottery and got us out of the Bronx? No, it was me! I won the money, and I’ll say how it’s spent! And I’m gonna use it to make a name for myself! Me... Fabian Stankowicz!”

And when Fabian sees an ad saying that the Avengers will be on Late Night with David Letterman, he has an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.

Also, who the heck puts egg in beer?

I’ve looked it up and I get that it’s a saying but apparently the saying is based on people actually doing that! Why??

The next afternoon, at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, where the show 30 Rock and this issue of Avengers both happen, this issue of Avengers is happening.

A CBS page shows Black Widow to the green room where the other Avengers are already waiting.

Also: I know that it’s all the Avengers who weren’t busy (even though T’Challa really should have been?) but this is a fun roster.

Hawkeye, Wonder Man, Beast, Black Widow and Panther?

Heck, I could imagine this being the Marvel equivalent of the Justice League International team, one more geared for some light-hearted comedy?

Except we’re in 1984 so this predates that.

But you have Beast and Wonder Man, your comedy duo best buds. You have Black Panther and Widow being varying levels of straight man to the nonsense. And you have Hawkeye who can be very serious or very ridiculous depending on how hot-headed he’s being at the time.

This team could be hilarious!

(Avengers International. Think about it, Marvel.)

Outside the green room, our ol’ buddy ol’ punching bag, Fabian Stankowicz is in disguise as a repairman with a mustache as cover for installing some devices in the studio. Then he puts on a beard to disguise himself as Perfectly Normal Bearded Audience Member.

I appreciate his intiative although I doubt any of the present Avengers are gonna recognize this guy on sight even if he wore a t-shirt that said “I’m Fabian Stankowicz.”

Fabian Stankowicz: Boy, this is gonna be so sweet, especially after the way the Avengers made me look like a chump those last two times! This time, it’s gonna be different! This time, I’m going to have a ringside seat for the defeat of the Avengers!

Or at least the Avengers that were available to show up on the Tonight Show with David Letterman.

Y’know, I like Fabian Stankowicz. He’s just smart enough to be dangerous and dumb enough to be entertaining. I think there’s a place for an ineffectual doofus with delusions of grandeur in the foe Rolodex of any superhero team.

Meanwhile, back with said Whoever Was Availables, Black Widow and Mockingbird are meeting for the first time.

And luckily, they’re both mature adults who don’t act like you’d usually see in media when the missus meets the ex.

So with a fight to the death NOT happening in the green room, Hawkeye gets to asking Mockingbird about the errand he sent her on which was why she wasn’t in the room when Black Widow first showed up.

Presumably using every bit of skill in espionage at her disposal, Mockingbird got a copy of the questions Letterman will be asking during the show.

Because Hawkeye will be fielding the questions and he has made the decision not to wear his hearing aid. And has also made the follow-up decision that not only will he not be hearing anything tonight, he’s also definitely going to be fielding all the questions.

Mockingbird: “Why won’t you wear a hearing aid?”

Hawkeye: “No can do, sweetheart! The fewer people who know I’m half-deaf, the safer it’ll be for all of us!”

(I don’t really get this reasoning but okay, man)

Mockingbird: “Then why not let someone else be spokesman? This is supposed to be Wonder Man’s big night!”

Hawkeye: “Sure... but I’m the only active Avenger here! Give me a kiss for luck!”

Not for nothing does Mockingbird think that he can be impossible sometimes. And she’s only known him a couple weeks! She’s already come to the correct read on him in that short a time.

David Letterman starts the show with an opening monologue.

David Letterman: “Tonight... What can I say? Tonight is something really special! In fact, it’s probably the most special show we’ve had since our 'camping with Barry White’ program! Yes... hard to believe, isn’t it? But with all due respect to Mr. White -- I think that this show may be our greatest ever. But, as they say, ‘that’s for history to decide!’”

Imagine being a talk show host and getting to introduce the Avengers. Pretty neat.

I like that bandleader Paul Shaffer is wearing a Captain America jersey. Although that makes me wonder once again what merchandising is like for Marvel superheroes. 

Clearly it exists but did Cap sign off on a jersey mimicking his costume? Does he see any money from that? Or at least did he get to say that all profit goes to such and such charity?

Letterman introduces the Avengers for the audience.

(Fun how you can get a sense of their personality just by how they’re sitting. It’s the little touches that make a comic fun.)

Hm, I wonder how well the marvel public follows superhero roster changes.

I know that sometimes new Avengers rosters have gotten attention with press conferences and everything. And sometimes they just swap in and out members as personal business comes up.

Some of the people in the audience may not even recognize Black Widow as an Avenger. Becaaaaause, wait I don’t think she ever was one. She’s assisted on some missions and they were ready to vote her in when she vanished to go do a SHIELD mission.

Okay, better example, does anyone remember that Wonder Man- oh wait, he very publicly burst out of a crate in front of Avengers Mansion during press furor over a roster change. Also, he’s a pre-successful actor.

Black Pan- no, no. He was framed for killing the Avengers his very first day on the team. There was a manhunt.

And of course, everyone knows Beast was on the Avengers. He got around. Romantically.

David Letterman mentions that this group isn’t even all the Avengers because some couldn’t make it (read: were busy with more important things).

Which leads to a funny cut to audience where Beard Fabian is annoyed that this group is who got caught in his revenge scheme.

Fabian Stankowicz: Blast it, where’s Captain America? Where’s that &#%$ She-Hulk?

You better wash your brain out with soap before She-Hulk finds out you thought  that about her. She’s dunked people into the garbage for lesser offenses.

Beast decides that this Late Night interview is the best time to reveal that he’s quitting as a reservist Avenger to focus on his version of the Defenders.

Letterman: “Wow, that was some bombshell the Beast just dropped, Hawkeye! You’re group spokesman... What do you think of that?”

Hawkeye: First question -- ! “Well, David, the Avengers is a non-profit organization, fully sanctioned as a peace-keeping force by just about ever international organization you could think of!”

Letterman: “Eh-heh-heh! You don’t say!”

Oh god, Beast’s bombshell messed up the order of questions and Hawkeye is firmly sticking to script because he can’t hear.

My god, Hawkeye.

Letterman: “You know, I was just about to ask you something along those lines. You wouldn’t be psychic by any chance -- ?”

Hawkeye: “No, of the founding members, only the Wasp and Thor remain as active Avengers.”

Letterman: “You little dickens! You’ve been peeking at my question sheet, haven’t you? All right, I might as well as my next question which is... ‘I hear you were recently married! Is that true?’”

Hawkeye: “Yes, Dave... just a few weeks ago!”

Letterman: “How about that!”

Did Hawkeye just think they were going to blaze through the questions? Even if Beast hadn’t preempted the first question, did Hawkeye think that there would be no follow-up questions? No discussion?

I’ve been on the fence on whether the jokes about Hawkeye not hearing the questions are poking fun at deaf people or at Hawkeye and yeah, Hawkeye is definitely the butt of this joke.

Fabian Stankowicz loses patience for this very dry question and answer session and decides to start his attack nnnnow.

One of the studio cameras is secretly A GIANT LASER. Because. And it blasts the stage.

Mockingbird is watching this on a tiny screen in the Green Room and goes out to help only to run afoul of some kind of mechanized steamrolling dumpster.

Back in the studio, Wonder Man has found his new nemesis.

Move over, Grim Reaper. You’re one-dimensional and everyone especially me hates you. Hello, laser blasting camera.

Wonder Man: “Let me at that thing, Beast! It’s ruining my guest-shot!”

Beast: “You’ll have to wait your turn, Wondy! It just shredded my favorite shirt!”

Priorities!

You know, this was supposed to be about Wonder Man and he only got to say two words during the interview portion.

Dangit, Hawkeye.

Apppppparently, the audience is just assuming that this is all part of the show. A cliche, sure. But it makes sense.

Would you really have the Avengers on a talk show and just have them talk? That’s a waste of perfectly good superheroes.

Also.... apparently? David Letterman used to run things over with a steamroller a lot? So a steamroller looking contraption crashing through the wall to attack the Avengers does seem like something that might happen?

Also, Paul Shaffer decides to just roll with it so as not to panic the audience.

The show must go on, after all.

The steamroller also starts firing missiles at Beast, as ya do.

Beast: “Hunter missiles? I don’t believe this is happening on network tv!”

Wonder Man tries punching the steamroller to no avail but which does give Black Panther a chance to pull out the tried and true “Wonder Man’s fists carry as much bludgeoning power as Thor’s hammer!”

Y’know, originally, that was a flex that set Wonder Man as a threat to the team but after he joined, that never really seemed to actually be the case.

Imagine if Wonder Man always hit as hard as Thor’s hammer? Like, he’s minding his own business and then the Gorr the God Butcher arc happens and Wonder Man is like ‘huh, why do I suddenly feel like my punches could destroy planets light years away? That’s a very specific feeling!’

Fabian Stankowicz takes advantage of the spectacle chaos to walk out of the audience, plunk himself down into one of the interview chairs, remove his entirely convincing beard, and introduce himself to David Letterman as the guy who is definitely to blame for all the action setpieces going on.

Letterman, like Paul Shaffer, just decides to roll with it. Humor the guy. Ask him why he’s doing this.

Fabian Stankowicz: “Why? To prove it could be done! To show what one incredibly gifted individual can accomplish...”

Letterman: “... To get your name in the papers?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “That too! After all, the Avengers have battled Zodiac... the Masters of Evil... Doctor Doom! I want to make as big a name for myself as those guys!”

Letterman: “Seems to me that ‘Stankowicz’ is already a pretty big name!”

Badum pish?

He asks Fabian to explain all of his devices and Fabian is happy too.

I mean, he’s being a supervillain for the notoriety and supervillains already love to hear themselves talk so he’s double dipping into the ‘I will exposit everything at the drop of a hat’ well.

And imagine, Fabian built all this stuff in his garage with lottery winnings.

The steamroller thing isn’t just a steamroller, it’s also got a gravity generator. Which, I guess, makes sense if you’re expecting to go against a She-Hulk or a Thor. A regular steamroller isn’t going to do more than annoy.

Wonder Man fighting so hard against the roller makes it increase gravity so much that Simon and steamroller just fall through the floor.

Hm. I wonder what’s filmed in the studios the floor down. They’re about to have an exciting guest star in that steamroller.

Black Widow (still tangling with the laser camera) points Hawkeye towards Fabian. Although she has to shout and Hawkeye still doesn’t really get it but is happy to shoot an arrow at someone that Black Widow is vigorously gesturing at.

Alas, Fabian is one of those prepared villains we’ve been hearing so much about.

He built a force field too, and the arrow just bounces right off.

(Hey, uh, Hawkeye? What kind of arrow was that? Because it looks technological and you just shot it at this guy’s head)

Truly, can nothing stop this insidious yet not very menacing criminal genius?

Oh, I guess David Letterman can.

Knocks him out with a big knob.

It’s just plain big.

Prop comedy, amirite?

The audience seems to love it anyway. I looked up a clip of the big doorknob and it didn’t meet with this much applause. Maybe its because it was used to do violence this time?

Was the giant door knob a beloved part of Late Show lore?

David Letterman: “I guess that’ll teach you not to mess with David Letterman!”

That’s a line with weird energy to it.

Anyway, it would be a sad day for this random assemblage of backup Avengers if they were upstaged completely by David Letterman and his big knob.

Black Widow and Hawkeye finally manage to blow up the laser camera.

I’m not sure why it took them this long. Sure, the camera could apparently move, based on motion lines in previous panels. But the world’s best marksman couldn’t nail it sooner?

But the important thing is that eventually, they did do it.

The floor starts rumbling as well as Wonder Man flies back up with his belt-jets with the trashed roller and a shit-eating grin.

Wonder Man: “Sorry this took so long -- But I guess I’m a little rusty at tackling big hunks of tin like this!”

Fabian Stankowicz: Rusty? It took me a month to design that, and he totaled it in less than five minutes!

But since everyone’s focus is on Wonder Man (for once), Fabian tries to sneak away.

And runs smack dab into Mockingbird who has a lot of justified anger over almost getting run over by the roller earlier. But she just throws him over to some police that have finally shown up.

Letterman tells the audience not to try any of this at home, just in case any of them have gravity-generator osmium steel steamrollers lying around? And cuts to commercial, presumably so that some basic tidying can happen.

Hours after the filming of the show concludes, the Avengers TV Squad have returned to the mansion, with Vision wishing he could have taken part of this assistant editors month special issue.

Vision: “What became of Stankowicz?”

Black Panther: “Well, with all the charges NBC is leveling against him, the only machinery he’ll be dealing with for some time will be in the New York State Prison library!”

So, he attacked Avengers Mansion. He attacked Wasp’s superheroine brunch at the Van Dyne residence. That’s all well and good. He attacks the Avengers again in the NBC studio and the man is going to jail forever.

I guess the Avengers really haven’t been bothering to press charges on Fabian. But a massive media corporation isn’t so kind.

Since Hawkeye is technically the active Avenger (even though Vision’s hologram head is RIGHT there) he has to follow up on the thing Beast said about quitting the Avengers reservists.

Beast says its not right for him to be an Avengers reservist if he’s also trying to turn “the Defenders into a for-real group!”

Uh, Defenders fans? Wasn’t the appeal of the Defenders them being the not-team team? How did people feel about Beast going ‘ok but what if they were more like other teams instead?’

Meanwhile, Wonder Man is pacing, waiting for the Late Show to come on so he can see how he did when WOMP WOMP the show is interrupted by a special news bulletin.

Wonder Man is aghast that his big break isn’t even airing but when the special news bulletin is about a burning chemical barge, his hero instincts that he has suddenly swell up.

Wonder Man: “This... This is awful! What’re we standing around for? Let’s do something! We’re Avengers, aren’t we?”

Black Panther: “That we are, Simon! Let’s go!”

Beast also decides, hey, one more time won’t hurt and accepts his Avengers ID card back from Hawkeye.

And as they’re headed off to the Quinjet, Beast has a hopeful note for Wonder Man.

Beast: “Hey, Wondy -- remember, there’s a three-hour time difference between the coasts! If we can get this mess cleaned up in time, maybe some folks in California will still see you get your big break!”

Wonder Man: “And if we don’t -- ?”

Beast: “Well, that’s show biz!”

Pretty enjoyable issue! Like, sure, its a good for Assistant Editor’s Month. But if you’re going to do a goof, then you can do worse than bringing back Fabian Stankowicz for a third time’s not the charm.

Speaking of charm, having the Avengers appear on a talk show is a charming concept. Not a whole lot was done with it except the joke about Hawkeye answering the wrong questions but its still a fun idea.

And having the Avengers off busy lets us brush off some Also Avengers that haven’t been in play for a bit. That’s a fun idea that I wouldn’t mind seeing some more.

Have the reservists called in because of a situation happening when the Avengers are already busy.

Heck, I’d like to see a situation where the silliest and least regarded Avengers are the only ones available to respond to an emergency. Have them bounce off each other as a group. Maybe they’re mutually aware of their bad reputations.

Anyway, I expected this issue would be ridiculous but it was also enjoyable. Didn’t mind it at all. And (though by a different writer) the Hawkeye miniseries was very enjoyable too.

This is just feeling like a good era for the Avengers team.

Next time, apparently The Ghost of Jessica Drew. So she’s some kind of ghost spider? Nobody tell Carol Danvers.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because I typed this post partially while a cat was lying on my wrist. That’s dedication. Which you can’t spell without cat. Also, like and reblog if you think its likeable and rebloggable.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

KEEPING UP WITH THE ARIZAS

Michael “Riz” Ariza x Reader

Chapter 6: “The first date: first attempt”

Word Count: 2.3k

Author comments: Warning of some angst, and I'm not even sorry. This work wasn't re-edited, so I'm sorry if you find grammar mistakes! I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, more or less 'cause I cut it to keep Antonio's part, but credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x @xx--day-dreamer--xx @spiced-reads @leaalfred ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

“I can't believe you're gonna actually do'et”.

Your father appeared from nowhere, resting a shoulder on the door frame, cross-armed. He looked at you from top to bottom, rolling his eyes with a snort, while you put your makeup on point with a red lipstick. The rest was somewhat light, but you needed to highlight your lips, one of your best attributes.

“Do what, dad?”

“Trying to ask Riz out”.

“Why?” You inquired turning at him, with both hands supported on the edge of the sink, twisting your neck some inches to the right.

“'Cause he's my friend, my brother”.

“Then, I just have to kill you. Which is a good idea 'cause he could feel guilty for god knows why, so he would want to take care of me. Maybe live together at the ran—”.

“He's older than you. And not even his type”.

“The encouragement you give me… Wao, papá!”

“I'm trying to protect you”.

“Well, thank you. I don't need it, okay? I've been preparing myself since I have fifteen. And… shouldn' you let me commit my own mistakes?”

“Good. I don' wanna hear you cry after him laughing at this… bullshit”.

Those last words felt like a knife stabbing your chest. Almost five years working on it. Trying to be his friend, losing your ass even when he was simply breathing close to you, taking interest in whatever he could be doing (...). It wasn't only a physical attraction. You really found him very intelligent, funny, hard-working and loyal. And it could sounds bad, but sometimes you wished to be one of Vicki's girl, because of the much care he had with them. Almost five years working on it, arming yourself of courage, just to see how it burned among the flames of your insecurities at the end.

You raised your eyes subtly outlined, looking your reflection in the mirror. One minute ago, you were feeling stunning, amazing, out of this world, even sexy wearing a tight black dress over your knees and a heart shaped neckline. It was the first time you were dressing like that, trying to surprise him, being used to see you on your ‘rider outfit’ which is a cool one too. Now you felt ridiculous, with some painful lashes running under your chest, snorting because you knew your father was right. Taking off the makeup from your face with a wipe, your father put his head out the door.

“Are you re—? What are you doing? For god's sake, (Y/N), when I get to the party, there will be no beer! Those fucking prospects drinks more than the fuckin' Charlie Sheen on his day off”.

“I forgot I have an exam next week, leave to the clubhouse”. You just said, cleaning the red color covering your pinky lips.

“Mi amor, listen…” He raised a hand close to you, being stopped before he could touch you.

“Dad, just fuckin' leave! Okay? I'm fucking fine”. Interrupting him, you threw the wipe inside the sink with a sudden move. “I fuckin' get it. Your brother. Older than me. With interest in women, not in… in… I don' even know what the fuck I am”.

“Cariño...”

“A fuckin' clown, dad. That's what I am. A. Fucking. Clown”. You pointed out every word on air with your left forefinger.

“You don' need to be this rude”.

“Well, fuck you for breaking my fuckin' heart, instead of telling me ‘go, do it and if he doesn't want you, I'll hold you’. That's what a normal father would say to his daughter”.

“I didn' mean to hurt you”.

“But you did”. Turning at your father to face him, you took off the black dress raising it on air hanging it in your fingers. “I had to work at Bernardino's one month to afford it, and all the makeup you see here. From dusk till dawn, surrounded by creepy drunk old men”.

“I could have paid it for you”. He said then, with a guilty tone of voice because of everything.

“But, that's not the point, dad! I was trying to show Riz I can also earn my own jack”. You leaned towards the toilet where you left your huge Mayan's black shirt to wear it. “Go to the party, get drunk with your brothers, fuck some chick and have fun”.

Your father toured his incisors with the tip of his tongue, nodding in silence. After clean the mess in the bathroom and keep all your stuff there, you just lay down in bed hugging one of your big pillows. You were waiting for that weekend for five long days away at the university, as every week since you move out of Santo Padre to San Diego.

You didn't know you had keep it. You totally forgot it and finding it brings you bittersweet memories of that night and what happened the days after. Giving a spin over the black high-heels, putting well the tight dress on, you have a look in the mirror. Still fitting like a glove to your anatomy. And you're incredibly stunning in it. You like it, you have always liked. But you don't feel like you can use it. It's like if it is going to bring some bad luck to your relationship.

“Shit, you look like a cheap bitch, baby”.

You were so self-absorbed, that you haven't realized Riz was resting his back on the door frame.

“Yeah, I'm gonna ask Vicki to be one of her girls, 'cause you can't even find your small cocky”.

Teasing each other all the time it's a current mood. And you love it. Turning at him and focus all your attention in your husband, your eyes notice the way he tied his hair in a small black bun with some bristles falling by his temples. No matter how many years can pass away, he will run you out of air with the most minimal detail.

“Are we celebrating something?” Riz lifts up an eyebrow, licking his lips. Not being nervous, but excited about the idea. “I know every special date and today isn't one of them”.

“It's just a dress, Michael”.

“Really? I was about to ask you to marry me again”. He chuckles crossing both arms on his chest covered by leather.

“I bought it seven years ago, for a… date I should have had, and that never happened”.

Riz's jaw get tense from zero to one hundred, just in a second. His gesture turns into somewhat more confused, when he notices the sadness and the pain in your voice. You never told him about that night, but maybe could be a good moment to do it. Your eyes come back to your own reflect in the mirror, before taking off the shoes, heel against heel losing almost seven inches of high.

“One month working in a… bikers' pub, enduring bullshit, to buy it. But I stayed at home”.

Riz isn't sure if he wants to know how a guy broke your heart, but he's pretty sure he doesn't want to know why you kept that dress, seeming it like the dead body of a bad memory. And you're talking about something that happened seven years ago. Before being together, so he's starting to make his own Netflix movie in his head.

“I was i—”.

“I don' wanna fuckin' hear it”. He just raises a hand slightly, shaking his head.

“Why?”

“I don' give a fuck about what you did seven years ago”.

His hardened voice gives you some chills around your back, knowing he's really angry because of what he's imagining. Something too far from reality.

“Take that fuckin' dress off”.

And that is the best confirmation to know the grade of his annoyance.

“Riz, I wanna tell you something”.

“Fuck, no! You have told me a million times that I was your first love. Your only one. But something happened seven years ago that broke your fuckin' heart and fucked you down, and you keep that… clothe you were gonna use with him. How the fuck should I feel, ah? So you lied to me and… what? I was the second choice?”

“You should be a film director”.

“Good, thank you for first hurting me and then fucking laughing in my face”.

“Could you plea—?”

“FUCK, NO, (Y/N)! I'm fucking disappointed right now!”.

For a second you could swear that your husband is about to cry, with his eyes getting reddened. You can feel the tension in his body, seeing how furious his chest grabs and expels the air.

“It was my father”. You say then, before giving him the opportunity to leave the room. “My father broke my heart, actually. Even if the date wasn't with him. It was me who didn't go”.

Now, he's a little more confused, turning at you after giving you his back some seconds ago.

“Actually, me and… the ‘other guy’... we never talked about having a date. I just… wanted to force it. I mean, he was my friend. The point was come to the clubhouse and maybe earn some time together, alone”.

Yes, you're making him suffer a little, but he never was clear with you. So it's a kind of payback. And you know exactly what he is thinking. Clubhouse, Mayan, friend, seven years ago: Angel. He has been your best friend since ever.

“I can't fuckin' believe you…” He whispers letting his head falling down, until his chest meets his chin, laughing between teeth bitterly.

“But my father told me that he would never notice me, as I wanted, as I wished it. Do you wanna know why?”

“Fuck, no. And fuck you, (Y/N)”.

You have to do a big effort to not break in laughter, walking closer towards him.

“Because he was his brother. He was loyal. And a little bit older than me. Apparently I wasn't his type either”.

“I'm fuckin' done with this… bullshit, (Y/N)”. He says then whilst moving his hands about to lose his mind, walking away from the main room, looking for his helmet to leave the house.

You don't move a single inch of your body, waiting just one second before raising your voice.

“But he finally noticed me, 'cause I broke a bitch's nose who was talking shit about him!”

Silence. You can't hear his heavy boots touring your home. Riz is standing next to the principal door, and you don't need to be looking at him to know it.

“That night when Coco was full patched! I was ready to go and ask him out!” You add dancing your hips from the left to the right slightly, waiting patiently for Riz to coming back. “I was mentalizing myself for almost five years to do'et! But I thought my father was right! And I decided not to do it 'cause… I was more scared of losing that friendship, than him breaking my heart”.

Even if that last sentence is recited something low, you're sure he has heard it, with his steps walking through the hallway right to the room.

“But… well, I finally got my date, but I didn't use that dress just in case it brought me bad luck. I was too in love, to ruin it for a superstition. And I kept it in a bag”.

Riz appears again with pursed lips and his dark eyes on his feet. A little ashamed because of his words, but still being mad because of you making him believe something it wasn't true just to tease him.

“And…” Taking some steps close to the Mayan, you grab the helmet to leave it above a chair, placing his hands on your waist after that. “I made him the love of my life, my best friend, my confidant, the prize of my good karma, my soulmate…”

“All that?”

“Nope, I made him a lot of things more. But those are the most important”. Traveling your hands to his shoulders and lifting up yourself on your tiptoes, you kiss your husband with all the love you feel inside your chest. Slowly, enjoying it.

Sometimes you forget how lucky you are of having Riz by your side, and sometimes he does it too, but you know you own the whole world being together. He's the most kind man of all. The most loving, pleasing and empathic husband you could ask for. Always working hard to make you smile, to make you feel like a goddess, to make you feel proud of what you two have. Michael lives for you, and you live for him.

Deepening the kiss a little more by straining his tongue between your lips, his fingers go up to your cheeks caressing them and pushing you closer to him, with his scent intensifying and flooding your lungs. His mouth molding perfectly to yours, as always, so slow that steal you a soft gasp tangling your hands on his wrists.

“I have never felt love for anyone it's not you, mi rey”. You say almost in a whisper, when you pull away yourself a second to take some air, touching his nose with yours. “And marry you for a second time sounds so good…”

“Change your clothes, mi amor”. Riz soughs, eyes closed, with a silky loud tone bristling your skin. “We're leaving”.

“To Las Vegas?” You sound excited as a five years old about to go to DisneyWorld for the first time, even if you're already married.

“You wanna marry me again?”

“I wanna marry you every day of my life, Riz”.

[handonhaven]

Okay Lizzie and Josie really pissed me off in 3x16. Like Hope just ran off with someone who tried to kill her and someone who manipulated Josie. With no clue why or where they were going. And Lizzie first thought was to try to find Hope a rebound. Not to try to find out where she went or if she was in any danger. And Josie was no help either she didn't bother to do any of those things. She just asked Lizzie with who. I also didn't like Lizzie comment either. When she said "we can't afford to be picky. Anyone who doesn't melt after having sex with her will do." Maybe it's just me and I'm taking that comment the wrong way. But when she said that I got so mad. Because what I took from that was being able to have sex is only thing that matters. So let's just try to hook her up with anyone. Doesn't matter if they're a killer or a psychopath as long as they can have sex then it's fine. I don't know maybe I'm just over reacting to that(but I can't be the only one to feel something like that after hearing that comment, can I?).

So, so many Handon scenes just hits so differently now knowing that Landon was really malivore. I'm not gonna lie after I found that out I went back and watched those scenes over again trying to see if I can find any clues or hints at it. But when I did that I start it to think about the fact that we had a whole season without the real Landon. Then I start thinking about the fact that Landon has had a whole season of going through trauma one right after the other since 3x02(when Raph died) and it only got worse from there. Then I got mad at the writers for doing that to him. It was bad enough that his life before coming to the school was hell. So were they just like yeah lets put him through a whole season a trauma too. Now before anyone says well Hope went through hell this season too. I'm not saying she didn't. But I feel like Landons was on a whole different level than Hopes. Because Landon had to watch his brother die, then had to watch himself melt, then he was in malivore, then in the prison fighting off monsters, to then having malivore take over his body. And who knows what he's going through in this own mind right now. But I think my biggest fear is that when they do get Landon back the real Landon. That they play off his trauma to save time(like they often do now). Or someone will try to downplay it like it was nothing. Because if they do that imma be pissed.

So I start it thinking about that maliLandon scene with Cleo when we saw both malivore's and Landons memories. And all of Landons memories were big Handon moments for season 2(I think there might have been some for season 1 but I can't remember). And I know they did that for a reason. I think in that scene it inspired both malivore and Landon somehow to do something. I just can't figure out what and I know myself this will be stuck on my mind until we finally find out lol. I'm already thinking up theories and all both make sense but don't make sense all at the same time. And this is really going to bug me.

P.S 1: I have to say this season had one very consistent thing, the "Logical" answer is wrong.

- Logic telling Hope, Landon was dead ....wrong

- Logic telling Hope, Landon was back.....wrong (Hope felt something was off but chose to ignore it bc she missed him)

- Logic telling Hope, she and Landon are doomed.....wrong

- Logic telling Cleo, to trust Landon and he was only traumatized.....wrong

- Logic telling them Malivore wanted Cleo to escape the prison world....wrong

- Logic telling them, the monsters were coming from a actual pit....wrong

- Logic telling Hope the only way to kill Malivore is to become a Tribrid.....wrong

- Logic telling Hope she caused Landon to melt.....wrong(okay I know we don't know for sure about that one. But that feels way way to much like a red herring with how much it's been said). Also another consistent thing is everything they say things Multiple times over and over again espesally things that have no concrete proof turns out to be False. They keep repeating these things; Landon is Human, Landon is dead, Landon is not a Phoenix anymore, Hope needs to become a Tribrid, Hope is toxic to Landon(once again I know we don't know for sure yet, but there's no way that isn't a red herring), Hope and Landon are doomed. Watch all turn out to be wrong.

2. The antis and H*sies are already coming out the wood works. And there this one line I see that they're really trying to hold onto like it's a win or something. How at the end of 3x16 when Hope said "we want our friends back" they're taking it like Hope sees Landon as a friend now(among other things but that would make this too long if I write it all out). Which is sad and means they're truly not paying attention to anything. And let me just point out that Hope was speaking for everyone not just herself. So it makes more sense for her to say "we want our friends back" then it would be for her to say "we want our friend and my boyfriend back". Since they're all friends with Landon and Cleo. Even though they're not very good friends to Landon(minus Hope because Hope is with Landon and treats him better than his "friends" does). But that's a whole other thing for another time. I do my best to say away from antis and H*sies but somehow one of them somehow always end up in my timeline. And it's gonna make these next three months so much longer than it needs to be tbh.

Same. Exactly! It was all so strange.

Lizzie was just upset over the fact that Hope ditched them, but Hope has always done stuff like that on her own to keep others out of danger. Yet Lizzie didn’t even seem to care, even though both her and Josie said they didn’t trust Clarke after all he had done. So they knew that Hope could’ve been in danger. But Lizzie’s highest concern in that moment was finding Hope a rebound as quickly as possible?? What on earth... And Josie acknowledged that Hope could be in danger, said she cared more about her actual life than her romantic one, but then proceeded to do nothing. And exactly! That comment really bothered me too! Yep, that’s also how it came across to me. Like Hope being able to have sex with someone was the priority, the rest wasn’t important. I don’t think you’re overreacting, I thought it sounded really bad. And the fact that Lizzie was focusing on that over Hope’s safety... I don’t even know what to say. Then Ethan shows up and they drag him into it, it was just a mess, and probably the weirdest way and time to bring in a love interest for Lizzie. Then they get to the school, are casually standing around chatting, then Lizzie wants to give Ethan a tour. All thoughts about Hope’s safety forgotten, besides Josie mentioning in passing that they needed to tell Alaric what happened. That was the full extent of their efforts to help Hope. Then she gets back and all they can talk about is how she ditched them? Not about what happened or if she’s okay? And they’re the ones who just promised Hope she wouldn’t be facing Malivore alone... not off to a good start.

And right? It’s crazy! Me too, watching the breakup scene is SO different now haha. But ugh, yes. We seriously had nearly an entire season without the real Landon... I can’t. And same. That’s one of the things I’ve been thinking about the most, and I’m honestly mad at the writers as well. Like, it’s actually shocking to think about just how much trauma he has gone through. And I don’t know what made them to decide to put him through that much because it’s unreal. Just... why?? So true, he had a lifetime of trauma before the show even started! Went through more trauma while at the school, going through death after death. And then went through the most horrible things this whole season. And yes, Hope did go through hell, but what she went through was very different. I agree, what Landon went through was on a whole other level. Exactly! He literally went through one trauma right after the other. And he went through them alone (apart from losing Raf). Without any help, and every single time he escaped one thing, he ended up in another and endured more trauma. He’s been through pure hell, nonstop, and I can’t imagine what state he’s in right now and how he’ll be when this is all over. Oh, and literally me. I’m honestly so worried they’re gonna do that too. That they’ll just ignore his trauma, that they won’t show how he’s been affected or have him talking about it. And it will just get cut off and forgotten and they’ll jump to the next thing and he may not get even a break. Because that really is what they do all the time. And right now is their chance to show what he’s been through. To go back and show what happened to him and show his side of things. We need to actually see what he’s been through and how he’s being affected right now. And once they get him back, they need to address it. They need to let him and Hope rest. I think season 4 needs to be about them healing together, though I’m sure they’ll be dealing with more crap. So I’m very worried about that, I will be pissed right along with you if they don’t go into that. That’s probably what I want to see the most at this point, and what I think is extremely important, not only for his character, but also because they shouldn’t ignore that kind of trauma.

And yes, they were! They had Landon remembering Hope telling him she loved him for the first time, and then those other huge moments for them, the 2x08 reunion, and the scenes in 2x11. I‘m wondering if those might be Landon’s most powerful memories. And I think you could be right, I’ve wondered the same thing, but I also can’t figure it out. Like they showed Handon memories with Malivore creating Clarke like... I’m so confused haha. They definitely left us with too many questions, and now we have to wait, it’s gonna suck.

Wow, you make very good points with that. That’s very interesting for sure. The writers really used “logic” as a way to mislead the characters in order to shape the plot for the season. And I think because of that, they also had to hold the characters back from investigating things further. When I feel like Hope, especially, would’ve looked into things more to figure out what was going on, but they couldn’t have them finding out yet so they just had everyone believing in the “logical” answer. Which does end up fitting with the idea that things are not what the seem, especially with all the things you listed that they keep repeating. Which does make it seem pretty obvious that they’re trying to convince us of these things that aren’t actually true. I think it’s gonna all turn out to be wrong as well. We already know it wouldn’t make sense for Landon to be fully human since he never was, and that he’ll surely get his Phoenix powers back. And I agree about Hope being toxic to Landon too, the more they’ve talked about it, the less I believe it’s true haha. And same now with them talking about Hope having to become a full tribrid, it seems like they might be doing the same thing. Or at least, if these things aren’t already wrong, Hope and Landon will find a way to prove them wrong by fighting their fate.

Yeah, those people clearly aren’t paying attention to the show and are grasping for anything at this point. Did they not watch Hope’s scenes with Clarke and how she responded to him talking about fighting fate? Did they not hear her literally tell Cleo that she still loves Landon? Obviously, Hope does not view Landon as just a friend. She was speaking for the group, just like you said. I don’t even think Hope sees Cleo as her friend right now. When Cleo told Hope that she hopes they can be friends again after all this, Hope said nothing and just walked away. So yeah, she was speaking for everyone else, although it’s weird that the rest of them would even view them as friends either. I’m pretty sure Kaleb is the only one who really sees Cleo as a friend. And true, they’re not even friends to Landon, none of them gave a crap when he died, so I’m not even sure why they were there. I guess since there’s a threat now? But anyway, yeah, I get that it’s hard to avoid those fans, the hate is everywhere. But knowing how ridiculous their reasoning is and how far they’re reaching helps me to just kind of laugh it off sometimes, although it is annoying. It gets so tiring to see, but I’m just gonna try to focus on enjoying Handon and ignoring the antis as best I can!

[bbyx]

ripple effect - part four

Summary: During her fourth year at Hogwarts, (y/n) Deauxville falls for none other than Cedric Diggory. But it's not easy when you have to deal with protecting your family's fortune, keeping your father's illness a secret and having two of your closest friends catch feelings for you.

Pairings : reader x cedric, reader x draco, reader x harry

"(y/n), my dad wants to know if you want to come over for the rest of the summer?" Ron asks, running after you as you near the portkey station.

"Really?"

You had heard all about the Burrow from your friends over the years. It sounded like a wonderful place. You had been friends with the so-called "golden trio" since your first year at Hogwarts but it was hard to really get close to them because of your different houses.. You were overcome with joy because this invitation meant that they enjoyed spending time with you as much as you did with them.

"Yeah, my dad agrees with us, you shouldn't spend your last two weeks of school alone in a big manor."

"I would love to!"

When (y/n) arrives at the Burrow, the first she notices is how cheerful and welcoming it looks in the dawn light. Then she notices a little woman with the signature ginger Weasley hair burst out of the front door and sprint towards Mr.Weasley.

"Oh Arthur- I've been so worried- so worried"

She then seizes the twins and gives them the tightest hug.

"Ouch! Mum, you're strangling us!"

The woman then goes on into a rant about how she shouted before they left and would never be able to forgive herself if anything happened. You couldn't help but smile at how wholesome the entire exchange was. Then the woman glances at you and is taken aback.

"Hi! Mrs.Weasley i'm (y/n) Deauxville, i've heard so-"

She cut you off excitedly.

" You're (f/n)'s daughter. Your father and I went to Hogwarts together. You look just like him with that hair! How is he these days?"

"He's alright. He's decided to take a couple years to travel around Europe and expand his business now that me and my brother are old enough to look after ourselves." You lie while flashing her an extra bright smile.

"Good for him! You know, your father was quite the charmer during his Hogwarts day, In fact he used to date my best friend at the time, Cassidy Blavatsky, and -"

She dove headfirst into a story about your father serenading a girl next to the black lake while she ushered you into the kitchen. Fred and George grab the newspaper from Mr. Weasley's hands. The group argues about a false article concerning the death eater attack published by Rita Skeeter.

"Blimey, Ron, looks like (y/n)'s stolen the love of your life." George says, staring at the paper, hiding a smile.

"Always knew those bulgarians had a thing for veelas." Fred comments, his eyes never leaving the newspaper. You yank it out of your twin's hands.

"The fuck are you talking about?"

Your eyes scan the paper until you find it. It's that picture that Rita Skeeter took of you and Krum shaking hands after the game. Below it reads:

HAS BULGARIAN QUIDDITCH STAR FALLEN FOR REAL ESTATE HEIRESS?

After his defeat last Sunday, Viktor Krum was spotted canoodling with millionaire (f/n) Deauxville's daughter. Witnesses say that they saw her trying to cheer the seeker up after Bulgaria's staggering loss . Miss Deauxville is currently in her fourth year at Hogwarts while Viktor Krum is in his last year at Durmstrang. The Daily Prophet has reached out but both of them have declined to comment on the matter. Could this be the wizarding world's new power couple? Stay tuned for more information.

"You've got to be kidding me! I'm going to fucking murder her!"

"Murder who?" Harry says as he grabs the paper from your clenched fists.

"Rita Skeeter. She's the one who wrote this bullshit article."

"That picture looks pretty real to me." Ron asks, eyebrows slightly raised. You glance at Harry and he looks hurt, you brush it off.

He's probably just tired.

"Yes, but all we did was shake hands after the game. Everyone was shaking hands with everyone and I was trying to get out of there and-"

Hermione cuts you off.

"You don't have to explain yourself (y/n), we believe you." You smile relieved.

"Mrs Weasley, Hedwig hasn't delivered any letters, has she?" Harry asked.

"No there hasn't been any post at all dear."

Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at each other then at you. Ron grabs your hand.

"C'mon, let me give you the royal tour."

You head up with them but instead of showing you around they go straight into Ron's attic bedroom.

"What's up, Harry?" says Ron.

"There's something I haven't told you." He starts. "On Saturday morning, I woke up with my scar hurting again."

Ron and Hermione's faces contorted between expressions of terror, shock and worry.

"What scar? It's probably just infected or something." They look at you incredulously.

"Oh shit you mean like the scar!"

"It hurts whenever Harry is near You Know Who." Hermione says.

Ron looks dumbstruck. "But - he wasn't there, was he? You-Know-How? I mean - last time your scar kept hurting, he was at Hogwarts, wasn't he?

"I'm sure he wasn't in Privet drive" Harry said "But I was dreaming about him ... him and Peter - you know Wormtail. I can't remember all of it now, but they were plotting to kill ... someone."

Hermione and Ron looked horrified. You were very lost.

You Know Who? At Hogwarts? Worm tails? Are they high?

They kept talking, forgetting about you. You were lost in thought trying to piece what they had just said together. They said something about Professor Trelawney, a prediction, more about the worm tails and something about being serious. Hermione gasped and dropped Crookshanks. They all looked at you with worried expressions.

" I am being serious." You answer quickly. Ron almost dies trying to stifle his laugh.

"No not serious, Sirius, as in Sirius Black." He chokes back.

"Like the murderer?" You say, confused.

"He's not a murderer! He's my godfather." Harry says defensively.

"What are you talking about Harry?"

He sighs and looks at Hermione and Ron.

"I reckon we should tell her." Ron answers.

" Tell me what?"

Harry starts "Well,um, last year, you remember Profesor Lup-"

Hermione interrupts him. "No, Harry, you have to start from the very beginning."

For the next two hours, you sit barely saying a word as they recount their adventures from the past three years. When they finish, Harry slightly shakes your shoulder.

" You okay (y/n)?"

"Yeah, yes i'm okay it's just a lot to take in." You answer shakily.

"Yeah um sorry for dumping all that on you" Harry says looking straight into your eyes.

" No, I'm honored that you would trust me with all of this. But why? I mean why tell me?"

Ron and Hermione look away from your eyes while Harry blushes.

"No.. um no reason we just wanted to burden you with this information for the rest of your life." He stutters a little bit.

"C'mon Harry let's go play some Quidditch. We can do three on three, Bill and Charlie, Fred and George too. You can try out the Wronski Feint..."

"Ron! Harry doesn't want to play Quidditch! He's worried about Sirius and.. And" Hermione fumbles for words.

" Yeah, I want to play Quidditch!"

She rolls her eyes at him and mutters "Boys".

The last two weeks of summer spent at the Burrow were wonderful. You had grown so much closer to Harry, Ron and Hermione and were almost sad to go back to Hogwarts because it meant seeing them less. As Mrs.Weasley hugs you goodbye on the platform you hear Charlie and Bill mumble something about " it's gonna be an interesting year at Hogwarts".

You, Harry, Ron and Hermione climbed on the train and went hunting for an empty compartment.

Almost as soon as you sit down in your compartment do you hear a familiar snobby voice coming down the hallway.

"...Father considered sending me to Durmstrang rather than Hogwarts you know. He knows the Headmaster..."

The sound of Draco's voice made your blood boil. You were still angry with him about what he had said during the attack at the world cup.

Just then Neville and Seamus walked into your compartment.

"Did you two go to the World Cup?" Ron asks the boys.

Seamus nods and Neville sighs.

"Gran wouldn't let me get tickets."

Seamus pipes up "Hey (y/n) I heard you were dating Krum, think you could get me his autograph."

"Oh god I'd forgotten all about that. Seamus it's not true, just some gossip columnist having some fun."

Seamus looked deeply disappointed.

"We saw him right up close, as well," Ron said. "We were in the Top Box-"

"For the first and last time in your life, Weasley."

Draco slid into the doorway.

"Don't remember asking you to join us Malfoy" Harry said coolly.

"Not here for you Potter I want to speak to (y/n)" He looks at you with those icy grey eyes. " Why aren't you sitting with us? Why are you hanging around these-" He stops.

"What is that?" Draco points to Ron's second hand dress robes draped over Pigwidgeon's cage. He seizes it before Ron has a chance to put it away. Draco, Crabbe and Goyle start making fun of it while poor Ron turns beet red.

You tune it out trying to think of a simpler time when Draco wasn't such an asshole when he says something that catches your attention.

"So... going to enter, Weasley? Going to try and bring a bit of glory to the family name? There's money involved as well, you know... you'd be able to afford some decent robes if you won..."

"What are you talking about?" Snapped Ron.

"Are you going to enter?" Draco continued. " I suppose you will, Potter? Never miss a chance to show off, do you?"

"Either explain or go away, Malfoy." Said Hermione. A flash of delight swept across Draco's face.

"Don't tell me you don't know? You've got a father and a brother at the Ministry and you don't know? My father told me about it ages ago... heard it from Cornelius Fudge himself. But then maybe your father's too junior to know about it, they probably don't talk about important things in front of him. If you really want to know, just ask your dear friend (y/n)."

"Draco, leave." You say looking him straight in the face. His smirk slightly falters and he slides out the compartment. Ron breaks the glass in a fit of anger.

"What was he talking about (y/n)?" Hermione snaps.

" I have no clue, I swear."

"What about that deal with the minister? What did he want?" Harry asks you.

You tell them about the deal, about Fudge's strange words and the ridiculous price they paid. After that the ride was strangely silent. Hermione was reading, Harry was sleeping and Ron was still too furious to speak.

"I'm gonna go see Daphnee and Millicent." You whisper to Hermione.

"Allright, say hello to them for me."

You head down the hallway and hear the voice of the last person you want to see right now, Draco Malfoy. Without thinking, (y/n) throws herself into the nearest compartment and hits someone with her elbow. One of your brother's friends, Jeremy, you think his name is. Red liquid starts seeping out of his nose incredibly fast.

" Merlin! I am so so so sorry. Oh god, is it broken?"

"Ah if it isn't my famous little sister, breaking hearts and noses, I see?" Nick chuckles.

Of all the compartments in this goddamn train, I just had to jump into his.

There are six boys in there: Nick, the unfortunate Jeremy, two seven year Slytherin boys playing wizard chess, one Ravenclaw boy sleeping and Cedric Diggory.

"How's Krum doing, by the way?" One of the Slytherin boys asks, not looking up from his game.

"Bloody Hell!" Jeremy mumbles as blood streams out of his nose.

" You look like a bloody hell." Says the Ravenclaw boy, having just woken up.

"Fuck you, Xavier" Jeremy says while spitting out blood.

" I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do to help?"

"You can start by getting the fuck ou-" Jeremy looks at you in the eyes and stops. His face softens. "Nevermind."

" What are you doing in here anyways?" Asks your brother.

"Hiding." You say quickly.

" He looks like an extra in The Shining, let's get him cleaned up." The Ravenclaw says while yawning. Everyone looks at him for a second before he elaborates.

" It's a muggle horror movie."

All the boys leave the compartment with a trail of blood following them, except Cedric.

" So you and Krum, huh" He huffs.

" Don't tell me you actually believe that crap."

" I don't know, could happen, he's famous and all." Cedric mumbles. Why was he acting like this? What did it matter to him?

"Well it's not happening, all Krum does is sulk and play Quidditch."

"What about our date, is that happening?" He flashes you his signature lopsided grin and your mind blanks.

"Date? What date?" You say slowly as you remember that night and the campfire. "Oh right! I didn't think you were serious about that."

He cocks his head slightly to the side. "What do you mean?"

"I thought it was just a conviennent way to get out of that dare because, you know, i'm part ve-"

"First weekend at Hogsmeade?" Cedric blurts out, giving you a shy smile.

"Sure." You answer while sliding the door open. Something hits you in the back of the head. You pick it up, it's a chocolate frog. You look back up at Cedric who's grinning.

"Heard they're your favourite." He says.

(y/n) laughs.  You're taken aback by his thoughtfulness because chocolate frogs are your absolute favorite candy. "Chocolate frogs are everybody's favourite."

" No, I'm more of a licorice wand type of guy."

You pretend to gag. "Cedric! Ew no. That's disgusting, licorice is horrible. I might have to reconsider this whole date thing." You tease. He shakes his head and smiles.

"But anyways, thank you, for the frog." You walk out and set off trying to find Daphne and Millicent.

Finally you stop at a compartment at the back of the train. As soon as the door slides open a flash of bouncy red hair sweeps you into a hug.

"(y/n)! Where have you been! We thought you missed the train!" Millicent shrieks at you. You peel out of her hug and go over to hug Daphne. You stop when you notice a third girl with thick chestnut hair in the compartment.

"This is my little sister Astoria, she's starting Hogwarts this year." Daphne

" Oh hello Astoria, I've heard all about you. Are you excited about going to Hogwarts?" You offer the girl a welcoming smile. Except for her hair colour, she looked like a clone of Daphne with her cyan blue eyes and her small round mouth.

" Is it true?" The small girl asks, her eyes full of curiosity. Daphne looks slightly embarrassed.

"About Krum? No! God has everyone on the planet read that dumb article?"

"No, about you being a Veela." Astoria says very fast.

"Oh, uh yeah. Well part Veela anyways. My grandma on my dad's side was a Veela."

"That's fascinating." She says dreamily.

"Not really, I can't do any of the cool shit." Daphne shoots you a look. " I mean any of the cool...stuff. I can't turn into a bird creature or" You start waving your hands in an overly mystical way. " Enchant men into falling in love with me. The only thing I got is glossy hair, I guess."

"How tragic!" Millicent snorts sarcastically.

"Sorry (y/n), we saw a Veela on vacation in Germany and my horribly annoying little sister" Daphne says while tickling her sister. " has been obsessed with them ever since."

" Speaking of vacations" You perk up. " How was your summer with the Parkinsons, Milli?"

Millicent turns pale. "Dreadful." She says, over exaggerating every syllable.

"Oh god, say no more." You reply dramatically clutching your chest as the girls burst into laughs.

Millicent's parents had decided to go renew their vows in Tahiti and had left her with Pansy Parkinson's family for the holidays. It wasn't a secret that you and Pansy couldn't stand the sight of each other and you felt terrible that Millicent had been stuck with her all summer.

"Sooo (y/n), I read that article about Viktor Krum and you." Daphnee says with a sly grin.

" You know it's bullshit, right?" You look at her worriedly. All the girls laugh hysterically.

"Of course! I can't believe people actually believe that crap." Daphne gasps between laughs.

" And to make things worse, he is SO not my type." You bleat.

Millicent shakes her head. " I actually think he's quite attractive." Yet again, all the girls start laughing uncontrollably.

The rest of the train ride is giddy and happy as you laugh at Millicent's stories about Pansy and think about Cedric and his perfect lopsided grin just as Hogwarts comes into view.

[sadaboutniall]

something about you;

introduction | masterlist | tag | wattpad

Twelve. December, 2010. 

He arrives back into Mullingar in the front seat of his dad’s car, backpack on his lap, heart in his throat. The village is fully dressed up in Christmas cheer: lights strung across the high street, tree sparkling in the village green, carolers making their way from door to door. It all looks fake to him somehow, like something in a movie. Something he knew once, but doesn’t anymore. 

It’s been five months since he’s been here. Now, he’s got a fortnight at home before he heads off to Los Angeles with the boys to start recording their first album. He can’t even begin to wrap his mind around the fact that he’s going to California to record an album, but that’s just the way his life is now: something no one can wrap their minds around. He remembers a million years ago, in this same car, staring out the window as Greg drove them to Lough Ennell, dreaming of being in California. He’s got a first-class ticket to LAX dated two weeks from today.

He goes through the motions most of the day: spending time with family, letting his gran kiss his face, answering infinite questions about what it’s like living in London and how tall Simon Cowell really is. By the time he leaves to head over to Mully’s he’s exhausted, happy to have the 25 minute walk in the biting December air as a way to wake him up. He shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his new puffer jacket, takes the long way to Mully’s, and tries not to think about anything. 

Everyone’s there when he arrives and lets himself into the basement: Mully and Emilia curled up together on the basement couch like they were that Halloween a million years ago, Nicky and Gilly kicking a football back and forth in front of the TV as they each sip a beer, Deo standing in front of Mully laughing about something Niall can’t quite make out. And Isla, too, on the couch next to Emilia, the two of them talking animatedly, Isla’s hand coming up to cover her mouth as a smile stretches across her face in response to whatever Emilia’s just told her. Niall’s heart tugs in his chest, splutters and stops, and Isla looks up at him.

‘Hey, you,’ she smiles, stands up to give him a kiss and Niall wants to say no, sit down, the least he can do is bend over to kiss her, but she beats him to it, up on her tippy toes to press her lips against his before he can even step across the room. She kisses just the same as she did when he saw her last, two months ago in London, and it makes him want to cry. 

‘Ah, superstar’s here,’ Mully’s saying when Isla pulls away. ‘Rich and famous now mate, you couldn’t bring us some cans?’

‘They don’t pay me,’ Niall says, and it’s half true. The money will come after the album, though he has no living expenses right now, with Modest! paying for everything. Appearances on TV shows pay a few hundred quid each, and he’s put most of that away for Christmas presents for his family and Isla—a few cans wouldn’t have been a bad idea though, he realizes belatedly. It’s kind of the least he can do. 

Mully’s laughing though, and so is everyone else, and Niall knows it was a joke, lighthearted taking the piss the way his friends have always done, but something about it is sitting like a stone in his stomach, curdling uncomfortably. He’s different, now. And his mates are too.

Everyone looks different: Mully’s hair is getting longer and Gilly’s shaved his head and Deo’s gotten taller and Mia got new glasses, cute, round ones that really compliment her face. Isla’s different too—her body feels new when he touches her, and there are freckles in spots he doesn’t remember, places where he used to leave his own marks on her skin.

Sometimes, Niall thinks, his life has taken to feeling like a movie montage these days, a supercut of moments rapidly changing around him. It’s all snapshots set to weird background music: laughing all night with Harry and Louis and missing four calls from Isla in the process, waking up absurdly early to go on the radio and sleeping all afternoon so that when he does try to call Isla that night she’s fast asleep, fans outside screaming his name, strangers asking questions about his girlfriend back home. He tries to keep Isla out of it, to protect her privacy, but doing that makes him feel like he has to bury her sometimes, to keep her at arm’s length to keep her safe. 

They just keep missing each other, even though they’re on the same time zone and only a short flight apart. It feels like millions of miles, like a whole different world, like every time he goes to touch her hand she drops it, or like every time she leans in for a kiss he turns his head. 

He’s sitting next to her now and that feels good—his thigh pressed against hers, his arm around her shoulders, her laugh in his ear—but he knows. And he knows she does, too. 

-- 

Isla comes over on Boxing Day. She looks so pretty bundled up at his door and all he can think about is how ridiculous it is that she makes him feel so much—that there are girls lined up screaming his name every time he goes outside in London, and yet that doesn’t even come close to how Isla, standing at his door in sweatpants, makes him feel. 

Up in his room they kiss on the bed, hands under clothes, lips and teeth sharp on skin. He feels so comfortable with her underneath him, so safe, so sure, and he doesn’t want it to stop, even though he knows it has to. It’s biting at the back of his mind as he presses his tongue between her lips, as he gets his hands on the soft, maroon lace of her bralette, as she arches her back against his hips and tugs gently on his hair and whimpers in his ear. It’s the sound of his name on her lips that pushes him over the edge, that sets the rancid feeling in his stomach up to the ‘Impossible to Ignore’ setting. This isn’t fair to her. He sits back on her thighs, still straddling her, and scrubs a hand over his face. 

‘Isla,’ he starts, already breathing a little too heavily.

‘Are you gonna say it now?’ Underneath him, Isla scooches up the bed a little bit. She’s just in her bralette and sweatpants, slung low so he can see her hips. 

‘Yeah,’ he takes another deep breath. ‘I think I have to.’

‘Okay,’ Isla’s voice is soft but sure. ‘Just let me sit up?’

He swings his leg over her body and together they get reseated, Isla criss-cross-applesauce with her back against his headboard, him with his shins pressed against the side of her thigh, his back against the wall. 

‘I’m going to America next week,’ is how he starts. 

‘I know, I’m excited for you.’

‘There’s going to be an eight hour time difference between us.’

‘That’ll be tough.’

‘Yeah. And I’ll be working a lot, like. Writing the album and recording it and practicing my singing. And they think there’s gonna be a tour, too, around America and Europe, after the album. I don’t think I’ll have, like, a lot of spare time? I think it’s going to be pretty full on, from here on out, and I just… I don’t think it would be fair. On you.’

‘I agree.’

‘And I—wait, what?’ Niall stops, entire prepared speech thrown off the rails. 

‘I agree,’ Isla’s looking at her hands, picking at her nails. ‘I agree that it wouldn’t be fair on me. It wouldn’t be fair on you either, Niall. I love you, but you’re not here anymore. And that’s not your fault, and this is what I want for you. It’s just, like. There’s no room for me on the plane, you know? Sold out show.’ She looks up at him then, a soft, sweet smile on her face and his heart swoops dramatically and gives out. His next breath comes out shaky. 

‘I love you so much,’ he tells her. ‘I can’t imagine I’ll ever stop.’

‘Ah, sure you will,’ Isla’s smile is sad, her voice strong. ‘Think of all the models you’ll meet.’

‘Don’t care about them.’

‘You will,’ she laughs a little, sniffles a little more. ‘You’ll forget about me.’

‘I don’t want to hear you say that,’ Niall shakes his head. The thought of that makes him want to scream, run, go back in time and un-do it all. It feels violent, the idea that he could ever forget about loving Isla. ‘It’s not true.’

Isla doesn’t press it. Instead, she reaches up to wipe her eyes and says, ‘I got you a Christmas present, though. If you want it before we break up officially.’

‘Christ,’ Niall laughs, biting back his own tears. ‘You’re so—I got you one, too, hold on.’

He scrambles off the bed and fishes the gift out of the back of his closet, while Isla does the same, rifling through her bag. Back on the bed Isla goes first, handing him a small gift bag stuffed with red and green tissue paper. She tells him it’s not much but Niall knows without opening it that that can’t be true—that anything she gives him is coming along to America, to Europe, everywhere. 

It’s wrapped up neatly inside the bag: a new, leather guitar strap, embossed with his initials and a series of numbers he doesn’t recognize. He blinks back the wetness in his eyes, as Isla reaches over and runs her fingers over it. 

‘Coordinates,’ she says, fingers brushing the numbers. ‘Latitude and longitude for Mullingar.’ 

‘Isla,’ when he looks up all he can see is her, brown hair falling over her collarbone, lips chapped from his own against them. ‘Isla, this is too much.’

‘Wasn’t that expensive,’ she’s whispering, matching his tone. ‘Just wanted you to have something to remember this all by.’

Niall shakes his head, rolls his lips into his mouth. ‘Fuck’s sake, petal. You fucking nailed it.’

Isla laughs, hand coming up to cover her mouth and all Niall wants to do is kiss her, pull her into his lap, hold onto her, onto this moment, onto this spot, forever. Instead, he passes her the bag he’d been hiding behind him, hands shaking with nerves. He’d gone to Harrod’s for the first time in his life to buy it for her, spent hours wandering around a department store he had never even dreamt of being able to afford. Isla eyes the bag with surprise, knowing. 

‘Harrod’s? Niall…’ 

‘Just open it, will ya?’

She giggles as she does and Niall can see that her hands are shaking too, that she’s feeling just as much as he is. His heart is in his throat watching her carefully undo the immaculate wrapping he’d paid extra for, watching her wriggle the top off the box, watching her face as she realizes what’s inside. She whispers his name and he almost cries, has to take two deep breaths to keep himself from breaking down. 

‘Can I help you put it on?’ his voice drops back down to a whisper and Isla nods, holding the necklace out for Niall to take. It’s even more delicate than he remembers: a thin, silver chain, a tiny, solitary pearl placed in the middle. She turns around and lifts her hair up so he can clasp it, so he can watch as the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand up at the touch of his fingers, at the brush of his breath over her skin. He gets it clasped easily, despite shaking hands, and then he bows his head and presses his lips to the back of her neck, soft, precious, and whispers against her skin, ‘it looks beautiful on you.’

‘You haven’t even seen it yet, you liar,’ she says, voice thick as she holds back tears.

‘Don’t need to see it to know,’ he presses one final, firm kiss to the back of her neck and then Isla drops her hair, turns around, and he was right, of course. It fits perfectly, falling so the pearl sits right in the hollow of her neck, sparkling against her skin. He shoves his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants to keep himself from touching her. Deep breath, then, ‘so, that’s it, then?’

‘I guess so,’ Isla swallows thick, smiles sad. ‘Thanks for being the best first love I ever could’ve hoped for.’

Niall’s mouth feels dry, tears pricking at the back of his eyes and rising in his throat, threatening to spill over any second now. He doesn’t know how much he can say without breaking down, without making this worse than it needs to be. ‘I love you so much,’ he gets out on a sad laugh. ‘Even right now when we’re breaking up, I love ya.’

‘I love you too,’ she reaches up to run her fingers over the necklace, her eyes flickering down to Niall’s lips and then back up to meet his, wet with tears. ‘Can I say one last thing as your girlfriend? Before we call it?’

‘Anything.’

‘I just kinda wish you’d have let me come before you decided to stop and break up with me. A little annoyed about that, actually.’

Shocked, Niall snorts out a laugh, and Isla does too, the two of them matching each other until they’re both doubled over with it, laughing, crying, a mess of tears and snot and butterflies in their stomachs, hearts in their throats. Niall wipes at his eyes, collects himself as best he can, and tries it out: ‘I mean. I think I can do something about that, if you want? One last time, like? Before we call it.’

Isla rolls her lips in to hide a smile, but her dimples give her away. Confident, she steps forward, traces her fingers over Niall’s lower stomach, the shadow of his abs, the waistband of his joggers. ‘For old time’s sake,’ she smiles. ‘Before we call it.’

####

taglist: @stylishmuser @thicksniall @stayclose-holdsteady @niallhoranruinsme @ajayque @flickerswinehouse @1dfangirls35 @crocodileniall @halfpinthoran @awomanindeniall @booksncoffee

join the taglist here

[crimsonbluemoon]

Terrornuckle/ Terrormoo (did we change the shipname?) 18, 1, 26

Okay, I went way too hard on this one. I always do that with this couple, damn >.>

AU: Celebrity Trope: Friends to loversPrompt: “sometimes, i sit in bed and wonder what would happen if things were different.”

Pairing: Terrormoo

“Where are you going this time?” Brian always enjoyed the limo ride to the private plane Brock owned. It was one of the only times that he got his friend alone, really. When he was working, he couldn’t be distracted and would lock himself in his home for days at a time. Brian didn’t blame him for it; being the writer of the biggest novel series in the world meant that he needed to nurture time for his craft. When he wasn’t writing his amazing stories, he was being carted away by Marcel, his manager, to different parts of the world for interviews and book signings. One day he’d be in their city, and the next he’d be in Hong Kong. 

“It’s a small tour, so I’ll just be doing an interview with Ellen, a book meeting with my company in Los Angeles, and then a Q and A at a convention in San Francisco. I should be back before Wednesday.” Brian remembered a time when Brock hated flying. The loudness of the plane, the turbulence, the fear of falling before completing his dreams in life- Brock had told Brian them all one drunk night three years ago. Back at the time, Brock had only just picked up some steam, and had been asked to come to a small bookstore in Atlanta to meet some fans. They met as neighbors four years before, their apartments both sharing terrible heating and thin walls. That was when Brock’s greatness was still hidden. Two months later, the world would be exposed to Brock’s beautiful smile. 

That had been before.

“It’s okay if you can’t make it,” Brian answered, trying to keep his grin wide to hide his own feelings. Brock always worried his lip too much when he thought Brian was upset, which then would get him scolded by Marcel and the make up artist he’d have to deal with for Ellen. Brock once told him he hated that part about his TV appearances the most. Brian remembered the first time Brock  had pursed his lips out for Brian to coat with lipstick left over from his high school theater make-up. How his eyes had popped out after the eyeliner guarded his lids like a coat of armor. How Brock’s eyelashes looked so long with mascara. Brock hadn’t needed blush; he’d turned a pretty shade of red when Brian had told him how beautiful he was. 

But that had been before. 

“It’s your birthday. I won’t miss it.” Again hung so heavy in the air between them, Brian was sure he’d choke on it. He glanced out the limo’s window with a chuckle he hoped wouldn’t be wet with the sadness he held back. Last year had been…a rough time for them. Brock’s busy schedule pushed Brian away, and the conflicting feelings of jealousy and sadness waged war in Brian’s heart, making him curl away from Brock’s friendly affection when he did have time. Because Brian didn’t want friendly; it took a month long absence of Brock’s presence by his side for him to realize it. 

His birthday had been shared with friends and family, with pretty girls and lots of booze. Brock was in Madrid, promoting his new book. There were no ‘after birthday pancakes’ the next morning, no horribly burnt bacon (six years and Brock still couldn’t make it right) and embarrassingly (but endearing) off-key singing. There was a nameless stranger in his cold bed and shameful hickies on his neck, which would have been signs of a successful birthday years prior. 

  But that was before. 

“I’m not saving you a piece of cake if you’re late,” Brian said instead of any of the words that rattled in his heart. Brock rolled his eyes, his shoulder bumping gently into Brian’s. He didn’t pull away, and Brian stayed quiet about it. 

“I’ll buy a whole customized sheet cake from that fancy bakery you liked in California and bring it back with me.” 

“You wouldn’t, you hate showing you’re rich unless it’s for charity,” Brian answered quickly, their eyes meeting at the challenge.

“Or if it’s for you,” Brock’s soft reply twisted something fierce in Brian’s stomach, his fingers digging into his pant leg to keep from pulling Brock into a kiss. Because he knew it was the truth; Brock always spoiled Brian. He did the same for his other friends, sure, but Evan and Tyler never let Brian forget how ‘special’ he was. 

Brock moved him into a house right next to Brock’s that Brian could never afford, and always made sure his needs were taken care of. Brock took Brian on some of his longer trips to Venice or Palm Springs, which Brian loved. But it had been just seven months ago when he had first discovered Proof Bakery in California. It was his favorite place, though not for the pastries like Brock always assumed. The little shop, which was way overpriced and the lines far too long, was where Brian first realized just how in love with Brock he was. The moment would always be sketched into his mind; the whipped cream that had crept over Brock’s nose from his frothy drink, the shy smile, the soft way his voice caressed the tail end of Brian’s name, and the sunlight that illuminated just how breathtaking all of it was put together. 

He’d nearly confessed right there, if not for the fact that cameras and paparazzi were hanging on every word they said. Their picture had been splattered on several tabloid magazines, with questions of their ‘relationship’ hounding both men for weeks. Brian had been avoidant of the question, waiting for Brock to bring it up. He never did, not to Brian, though he always spoke about his ‘good friend’ on TV shows and red carpet interviews. It’d been a knife in Brian’s heart. Because once, Brian had hoped the soft glimmer in Brock’s eyes at the bakery had been love for him. 

But that was before, too.

“Evan’s gonna get jealous, then Scotty will whine, and you’ll have to do it for everyone. With all the friends you have, you’ll actually put a dent in your wallet.” Brian doused any increased heartbeat he had by reminding himself how dedicated Brock was to making all his friends happy. Hurting himself more, he patted Brock’s thigh, not letting himself enjoy the muscle under his palm before pointing out the window. “Look, got here in record time. Almost time for you to head out.” 

“Oh, right.” Brock’s voice hid something that Brian missed looking out the window, but by the time he glanced back, it was gone. He quirked an eyebrow, knowing he was grinning like a fool after Brock’s cheeks turned pink. 

“You don’t sound to excited to get on your plane, mister. What, you gonna miss this beautiful face?” He forced himself to wink and blow a kiss at Brock, expecting the normal eye roll or scolding curve to his name that always made him feel special. 

“What if I will?” So the open heartbeak that cracked Brock’s eyes made Brian pause, frozen by the look he never wanted to see. 

“Brock, what… you know you can call m-us.” Desperate to get rid of the look on his friend, Brian leaned closer, ignoring his own rules of touch to cradle Brock’s face in his palms. “Video chat, anytime. Day or night, I don’t care. If you miss me- or any of the guys, that’s okay. We’ll miss you, too. We always do.” 

“We, or you?” The distinction seemed important to Brock, but Brian’s tongue was too tied up in emotion to give a response. Sighing, Brock closed his eyes, letting his shoulders fall in defeat. “Sometimes…sometimes, I sit in bed and wonder…. what would happen if things were different?”

“Different? Different how?” Brian asked, unsure if his heart could stay contained in his chest at the soft nuzzle of Brock’s nose against his fingers. 

“If I’d told you how having you come on the ride with me in the limo to the airport always helps me feel safe before leaving. If I said how much you saved me from my fears of flying by giving me all those helpful tricks. If I’d admitted you were the first person to make me feel beautiful that night with the make-up. Or, if I’d…if I’d been the one you’d taken to bed the night of your birthday last year, not that girl.” Soft flesh trembled against Brian’s thumb when he brushed it over Brock’s mouth, feeling the words from his own heart spill through Brock’s lips. “Would this be different, if I’d told all those TV hosts or interviewers the truth.”

“What’s the truth?” He was breathless from a marathon only his heart was running, eyes desperate for Brock’s pretty gaze when it finally opened to him again. 

“That I’m head over heels in love with you. Would that make any of this different between us?” He was so vulnerable, splaying himself out in front of Brian with his heart in his hands. It was rare to see someone with Brock’s power, money, status in the world with such an open soul. But this moment, this little piece of Brock now shining bright in the back of the limo, this wasn’t for the world to see. This was Brian’s, if Brian would take it, and nobody else’s. 

“Yeah, that makes a difference alright.” Brian leaned forward slowly, making sure Brock felt every indent and inch of his lips when kissing him. The kiss was slow, longing, full of each negative and positive emotion Brian had ever felt for Brock. He took his time pouring himself over Brock, teasing the crevices and dips of the mouth he’d been sure he’d only taste in his dreams. Brock was a willing participant, once his mind seemed to kick back on. Lust and need simmered just under the overwhelming love he had for Brock, and after fully divulging the months of realized emotion into their kiss, he pulled back. Not far, as his next words were whispered softly against bruised lips. “It’s going to make you late for your flight, love.” 

Usually, Brian hated saying goodbye to Brock after their limo trips, knowing it was another chance for him to find someone to settle down with on his adventures without Brian. Brock still left this time, Brian waving from the limo they’d destroyed with their love making. This time, Brian’s heart didn’t ache watching Brock disappear into the plane taking him away. There was no pain.

Because that was before; before Brian knew Brock loved him, too.

[yourinnerprimschoolmarm]

A bunch of lines from random songs off one of my music playlists. Feel free to edit and change to your heart’s content for your muses’ own diction and pronouns, etc.

" I'll use you as a warning sign. " " If you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind. " " But I missed you more than I thought I would. " " I found love where it wasn't supposed to be-- right in front of me. " " Talk some sense to me. " " I love this world, and I don't want to leave it. " " I want to be the man who lives forever. " " I ain't ever going to die, and I want you to come. " " They say we're all born to die, but I never believed it. " " Come here, pretty please. " " Can you tell me where I am? " " I'm lost, and the shadows keep on changing. " " I'm haunted by the lives that I have loved. " " Haunted by the promises I have made, and others I have broken. " " I'll always need you. " " I'll always love you, and I will always miss you. " " Come here. No, I won't say please. " " One more look at the ghost before I make it leave. " " Boy, I'm trying to show you where I'm at. " " Hey, pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me through my world? " " Hey, pretty, don't you wanna kick and slide through my world? " " I have a mind full of wicked designs. " " I can't forget I am a sole architect. " " I built the shadows here. I built the growl in the voice I fear. " " Hey, now, can't you feel me longing? " " Do you get the gist of the song now? " " I saw the part of you that only when you're older you will see too. " " It's like you told me-- go forward slowly. It's not a race to the end. " " You look like yourself, but you're somebody else only it ain't on the surface. " " You were the better part of every bit of beating heart that I had. " " I couldn't believe that you were gone. " " You talk like yourself-- no, I hear someone else. " " You're making me nervous. " " It doesn't matter what I say as long as I sing with inflections that makes you feel like I'm conveying some inner truth or vast reflection. But I've said nothing so far, and I can keep it up as long as it takes. " " There is something amiss. I am being insincere. " " In fact, I don't mean any of this. Still my confession draws you near. " " I ain't telling you no lies. " " Make a desperate move or else you'll win. " " So desperately I sing to thee of love, sure, but also rage and hate and pain and fear of self. " " I wanna bust all your balloons. " " I wanna burn all your cities to the ground. " " I have a prayer to pray. That's really all this was. " " And when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck, I don't rely on luck because the hook brings you back. " " Someone sang your name today, and a stranger saw me crumble. " " Can you please kindly take away the misery? " " Wrap me up to go away. " " I need to forget you. Don't want to, but I need to let you go. " " The devil bent my ear today about his magical elixir that would make the sorrow go away. Help me forget that I met you. Give me-- I'll take a dozen, please." " The more you take, the more you need. " " Why don't you come over here? " " Come and see me through the night. " " If you choose the world to see just leave your heart in Tennessee. " " Plain, plain Tennessee me, living just a mile away. I'm nothing special, but I can hold you. " " If you want to, you can stay. " " Let me love you all my life. " " You can take a live wire into the bath with you for a feeling you can't find. " " You can entertain your childhood friends with a tour of the bedroom. " " Tie my right hand to the Bible. " " Surprise you to find that I'm laughing? " " You thought that you'd find me in tears. " " Well, you may be king for the moment, but I am a queen, understand? And I've got your pawns and your bishops and castles all inside the palm of my hand. " " Now I have taken control. " " This is beginning to feel good, watching you squirm in your shoes. " " You thought you could keep me from loving. " " While you were busy destroying my life, what was half in me has become whole. " " All those things you taught me to fear-- I've got them in my garden now, and you're not welcome here. " " Come a little bit closer. Let me look at you. " " I gave you the benefit of the doubt, it's true, but keep in mind my darling-- not every saint is a fool! " " Mother, don't worry, I've got some money I saved for the weekend. " " Mother, remember the blink of an eye when I breathed through your body? " " So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten. " " Mother, I lost it, all the fear of the Lord I was given. " " Mother, don't worry, I've got a coat and some friends on the corner. " " Sons are like birds, flying always over the mountain. " " I know the rain like the clouds know the sky. " " I write the names of the rocks and the trees. " " I tried to warn you when you were a child. I told you not to get lost in the wild. " " I taught you melodies, poems, and rhymes. " " Success is a song of the heart, not a song of your bed. " " And we all still die. " " What will you leave behind? " " I called your name 'til the fever broke. " " An awful noise filled the air. I heard a scream in the woods somewhere. " " A woman's voice-- I quickly ran into the trees with empty hands. " " His bone exposed. His hind was lame. I raised a stone to end his pain. What caused the wound. How large the teeth? " " I found something in the woods somewhere. " " You know better, babe, than to look at it like that. " " Don't let it in with no intention to keep it. " " You know better, babe, than to smile at me like that. " " I know who I am when I'm alone. I'm something else when I see you. " " Honey, don't feed me, I will come back. " " I've known the warmth of your doorways. Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you. " " Oh, please, give me mercy no more. That's a kindness you can't afford. " " Maybe I could be the one they adore. " " I'm an educated virgin. " " Cupid, don't draw back your bow. " " I'll never be your valentine. " " God only knows that I've tried. " " Let me in, let me drown, or learn how to swim. Just don't leave me at the window. " " Sleepwalker, take this knife. You may see someone tonight. " " I'm in your movie, and everyone looks sad. " " Now sleepwalking was my life. It's only a matter of time until I learn to open up my eyes when I'm dead asleep dreaming. " " Trying to make ends meet. You're a slave to money, then you die. " " I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down. " " I'm a million different people from one day to the next. " " I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah. " " Infinity has many faces. I see them all tonight in you. " " Hey, hello, a joy to finally meet you. " " Should you choose to react like an imbecile, you in turn will be treated so. " " Yes, we're being condescending. Yes, that means we're talking down to you. " " You speak like someone who has never been smacked in the fucking mouth. That's okay, we have the remedy. " " You speak like someone who has never been knocked the fuck on out. But we have your remedy. " " If the devil danced in empty pockets, he'd have a ball in mine. "

[sadly-too-sad]

A SCROOGE UNCHANGED.

Don't read this unless you're a racist. Read this if you are ready to judge people.

I hope you know Scrooge, the protagonist of the novel 'A Christmas Carol'. If you don't know the character, please be judgemental for a minute. Just like judging a book by its cover accept my words in the worst way possible. Scrooge is a cold-hearted miser who despises Christmas. Author Charles Dickens has clearly elaborated the characteristics in the beginning of the story. He also says, "The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek, stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue; and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice."

Simply, Scrooge is someone who you would never leave your pet or kid with.

Anyway, the reason why I mentioned 'Scrooge', was to give a brief about myself. I'm no different to Scrooge. Just like you. "Wait, what.?"

Okay.! Let me explain.

I would not say that I am a Prince Charming from Cinderella or the Beast from, yes, you know... Beauty and the Beast. I'm not even a Shrek nor an Aladdin. "They are so basic. I know I am cooler than them". 'Wait.! Cooler than them?' How could you compare and why would you look down on other characters/ people.? This is where rule number 1 pops in. Be judgemental. If you want to understand every point, you have to read this and feel things from all 6 sides. The reason why, is because, you can't see the 7th side, which is the "inside".

I'm writing this for the people who can hear things differently. Honestly, I wish none of you were sad because I've never felt happy for a very long time. Yes, I did start the typing in an amoral way because you're not judgemental enough. And I want you to know, don't fall for emotional writings because you are assigned to do something. JUDGE.!

I'm a racist. Just like you.

I didn't want to become this person but my life took me here. I was a cool kid as far as I know. I enjoyed the sunny skies and glittering stars. I'm a music lover, a movie freak and a dreamer who wanted to go to Hogwarts. I remember the days I played Super Mario and spent time reading books. I can't forget how my life upgraded, and switched my gameplay to CS 1.6, Underground 2, GTA and so on.

I was a racist ever since. I was choosy and picky. I always wanted the best in every game. Winning was the only option I loved. I remember the Subaru and Fairlady I had. I've killed people in the most crucial ways in Vice City and San Andreas. I was a racist but I didn't know who to kill in the game because not everyone who were in suits had cash and not every gangster ran without shooting back at me.

I didn't know about liquor nor weed or any other drug. But I knew "COME FLY WITH ME" and "CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG." I've screamed with Celine Dion, I've watched Jack freeze in front of Rose and I've said "Kuch Kuch Hotha Hai" more than a thousand times.

I wanted an owl so badly just because I've never seen such thing like Hedwig ever before. I ate "Gotu-kola" because of Popeye and I watched a Coyote chase an ostrich who was a Road Runner and I've laughed at a cat named Tom who always failed but never gave up.

I've done all these and the racist within me never showed up in real life until one day...

How did things change? And what was that day?

With the flow we grow. Pets, food, friends, skipping school, visiting friends' houses, secret night outs... Life was cool and at the best part of my life, I fell in love.

Well, love is beautiful at first. I'll not say anything else because that's what made me a racist. It wasn't love at first sight. Nope. I wasn't that dude. The story was completely different and I won't spend time explaining about it. Instead, I'll explain about my racism.

I loved my friends and I miss them. I regret not knowing what love was. And I wonder why I fell in love. I blame myself for not being picky. Sounds selfish, right?

Well, call me that but I'd rather be happy being selfish without a broken heart.

I have these flashes in my life, the days I smiled, the days I laughed and the days I skipped tuition classes. They were cool. Love was new but it was cool too. I'd never blame my partner but I blame myself for not knowing how to choose. Basically, my forever wanted her forever, but her forever had different plans. I went beautiful roller coaster rides after the break up as it was my first time I felt something like that. That was the point I got to know about the cheat codes in real life. That was the point I started flying without CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG nor COMEFLYWITHME.

I've cried thinking I wasn't good enough. I've stayed up all night for a text. I couldn't run back to my old school friends as they were too far away from me. My new friends didn't know me enough. We didn't have a history nor I wasn't the best at opening up to everyone. I've drunk water but I've drunk more liquor last year. Growing up hits hard. Instead of sunny skies and glittering stars, my eyes saw blurry nights and attendance sheets with less than 80%. I saw Ds and Fs. I didn't live, I just survived. I remember those days, I didn't ask for happiness, I just wanted less pain. It was the point where I learned that happiness is an emotion. It comes and goes. It can't be a life goal.

I was a racist when I was a kid but not real life. I trusted people. I've trusted words. But now I trust vibes. I trust actions and mindsets. It would great if I could peek into your music playlist. I would be more than happy to know what sports and movies you like. I don’t want to know your history, but I wish I could know which way you’re heading towards. Luckily I was born Sri Lankan and I was blessed to learn all three languages. And of course, Naruto and Pablo Escobar did some justice too.

I don't know you, but I want to know your mindset. I'm not afraid of people but I fear love. I was lost, going nowhere. I wish I had Jack's compass to see what I needed the most... I won't regret my space tours nor snake rides and accidents because, now, I'm a racist. I choose people and I label them under the mindset.

I can't afford love as I'm already broken. But I can share good vibes if you're a good person.

I hope you won't waste your love language over people who won't speak it back to you. And I hope, you get the best of all the things you give. You deserve the love, honesty, joy and hope you give to this world.

Stay blessed.

Check my writings on Instagram.

https://www.instagram.com/lines_in_colombo?r=nametag

Cheers.

[sugarycloud]

What Caroline meant to me

Hi. So I haven’t posted in a while, and if I did it was always just fic. Honestly I was planning on never posting on here ever again. I was even for a moment gonna delete everything, cos it felt disrespectful or something to leave all of it up. But I couldn’t, and then I got my blog stats for the week and saw that I’d had over a thousand pageviews, something that hasn’t happened in years. So I felt I had to say something. In case anyone wanted to read it.

Firstly, I am so utterly devastated about Caroline’s death. She was the best person, a beautiful and kind soul, and it’s so tragic and unfair that she thought the only way out was to take her own life. It still doesn’t feel real, and honestly I’m not sure it ever will.

I know there are so many people to blame, the press and the media, and social media, and the CPS. But I don’t want to focus on that, because to me, I’m sad either way, I’m devastated either way. And I don’t have it in me to tunnel all my energy into anger and justice, right now all I have is sadness, deep and complete sadness.

Caroline was so many things to me, she was a crush, and an idol. She was one half of my OTP. She was a person who made me want to believe in myself more, love myself more and give less fucks. She got me into writing. She was the reason I know some of my favourite people in the world. And somehow, she was someone I knew.

I first became a fan of Caroline’s in 2011, like so many of this fandom, because of Carolly, because of Xtra Factor, because, and I still believe this, those two were soulmates, and it was clear as day to all of us.

We watched them and fell in love with them, and they made us so happy, besides when we were yelling at me for being idiots. Caroline was always my favourite out of the two, whether it be because I fancied her and not Olly, or because she had the most infectious personality. She was the type of person I could imagine going to the pub with, someone I’d want to be mates with, because she sparkled.

I started writing fic in 2012 and on it sailed from there, I wrote my last fic in November 2019, seven years of being in her and Olly’s heads, and making up all sorts of happy endings for them. It breaks my heart that they never got one, that Caz never got one.

I first met Caroline on December 1st 2013. She was in a car and she stopped and chatted to me and my friend. The driver kept trying to drive away and she kept telling him to stop. She said she liked my coat, and I got the worst pictures ever. But she was amazing and I was so happy.

I next met her at Viral Tap in 2014. I met Jo and Chris. I gave her a burger necklace(‘Oh my god! This is the best thing anyone’s ever got me! I’m gonna put it on!). We chatted for ages, got much better pictures, and she was so lovely, funny, and genuine.

Then I didn’t see her until during X Factor 2015. I saw her plenty before that, I saw Strictly live, both the actual show and the tour, plus A Night With Olly Murs, and I basically lived at X Factor. But I hadn’t actually met her in a year and a half.

It was her book signing, I was really nervous, she had unfollowed me on Twitter after I drunkenly insulted her boyfriend on there. Course she didn’t remember that. She didn’t remember meeting me before but did after a bit of prompting. We talked about Strictly (‘You won six hundred pounds cos I won Strictly?! *turns to her team* ‘She won 600 pounds cos I won Strictly!) and her book (‘I read it in a day’ ‘What was your favourite bit?’ ‘Any bit with Olly’ ‘Of course’), I kept calling her Caz (‘I love that you call me Caz!) and we took our first selfies. She signed my book ‘Lovely to meet you AGAIN’ and in one for my mum wrote ‘You have a wonderful daughter’.

I saw her at XF soon after that and the first thing she said to me was ‘I’ve met you before!’ before much Olly chat and XF chat and how brilliant she was chat. She always chatted to you like you were her mate, telling us about her mum coming to visit and what Olly got for her birthday(‘A coat and a purse’ ‘What brand?’ ‘Yves Saint Laurent… who needs a boyfriend when you have Olly Murs’) my poor heart could barely handle it.

The weekend of the X Factor final, I got about 5 hours sleep and saw them kiss on the stage, still one of the best weekends of my life.

Next time I saw her was April 2016, outside of BBC, there was 3 of us there and we all talked for ages. I remember saying something, maybe about having met her before, and she went ‘I do know who you are!’, I never worried she didn’t after that. Also thus began the habit of her taking my phone and taking selfies from all the angles whenever I saw her.

Honestly after that it starts to meld together, I served her at work in 2017(‘Oh my god it’s you! I haven’t seen you in ages!’) at her radio show where she was about to get in her car, turned around and saw me and got back out again. There was all the times at Chicago and the one time at stage door for Crazy for You, chatting to her at Aftersun, and even when I was at the back of the room, seeing me, pointing and waving.

The last time I saw her was last year at her River Island launch. It was so nice. There was a big queue to see her and when I got to the front she hugged me and went ‘Hey you’. We were chatting for a while about Olly and how I was seeing Take That a lot right at that moment in time (How many times?’ ‘20’ ’20!!’), I told her I couldn’t afford any of her collection and she went all whispery ‘Don’t worry, I’ll send you some’ (she never actually did but still a very sweet gesture). There was a queue forming behind me so she said she’d catch me a in a bit.

I sat down on the sofa and after a while, she came and sat down next to me (‘Is it just me and a load of Instagrammers?’ ‘Yeah’ ‘Do you know anyone else here?’ ‘No’). We took some more pictures (‘Oh my god the camera on your phone is so good’) and chatted about Love Island and the rest. Eventually I left after the place emptied out and she had to go do some promotion pictures. I can’t believe it’s the last time I ever got to talk to her, I’m so glad it was so good. I have not one bad memory of meeting her and I will treasure every second of it all always.

She wasn’t my friend, but she knew me, she followed me on Twitter and Instagram, and always asked about my work (she always remembered where I worked after I served her) and how I was. She knew me and I knew her. I always used to say ‘We’re not friends but we’re friendly’ when people at work would take the piss and call her my mate.

My work, honestly, have been so understanding. I found out at work, someone took me aside and told me, and took me home. I wasn’t in for 4 days and when I did go back I couldn’t stop crying. I cried on so many people. But they got it, they all got it, how much she meant to me and how much I loved her and cared about her and knew her. They didn’t dismiss it just because she was famous, they understood completely.

Honestly, ever since Caz died, I have never known such kindness and love in all my life. I had about 200 messages from people the night it happened, and people who have been checking how I am every day. I couldn’t sleep for a week, I’m still struggling to eat, and there are so many tears. But having so much support and being surrounded by love has helped so much. I only wish Caz had known how loved she was, I hope she did know, that she was so so loved by so so many. I can’t stop thinking about her family, about Jo and Chris, and her friends, poor poor Lou, and Sam, and Olly. I can’t even imagine how they feel, and I can do nothing but hope beyond anything that eventually they will be ok.

It’s hard as a person who doesn’t believe in heaven or the afterlife to find any solace in this. People find comfort in that, that’s she ‘in a better place’ and ‘at peace now’ and ‘looking down on us’. I get that helps people, but to me, there’s no better place, the place for her was here. And now all we have is memories, and thinking of her sad and alone, and it breaks my heart time and time again.

Caz was an amazing person, she was kind and generous and funny. She had a good word to say about everybody and no matter who you were, treated you just the same. She wore her heart on her sleeve, loved so deeply, felt everything so much. She was one of a kind, a good soul and the most beautiful person, inside and out and this world is a poorer one for her no longer being in it.

So what did Caroline mean to me? She meant the absolute world, and I’m gonna miss her so very very much.

[shhawnboi]

Dad’s Approval | Connor Brashier

Summary: Your dad hates Connor so much that even he starts questioning himself and it’s your job to remind him why he can’t be more wrong.

Word Account: 2K

A/N: This is my first imagine ever, so sorry if it’s to cringey and disappointing. Also, English it’s not my first language, excuse my poor vocabulary and grammar and please tell me major mistakes to correct them.  

                                                          *  *  *  *

Y/D/N Y/L/N, your father, is Connor’s second worst nightmare, the first one being losing you. Mister Y/L/N is the boss of the biggest lawyer’s firm on LA, he is feared and respected everywhere because he has enough power to bring everyone he wants down, and that includes Connor, luckily this hasn’t happened to him, yet.

Your dad adores you. You are his pride and joy he just wants the best for you and he thinks that Connor, a simple boy with a camera, will never be enough, so he takes every chance he gets to remind you both, that. You don’t care about you dad’s nagging words but Connor does because he can’t help but agreeing with him. You deserve better than him and he is a selfish jerk for keeping you all to himself, but he can’t bear the idea of letting you go.

Last Monday your dad called to invite you two for dinner at his favorite restaurant ‘Saint Japher’, a place designed for the upper class with menus that just a few of privileged people can afford, and in that group of people Connor isn’t included. Your father does every other time for two main reasons: to see if you are still together and to drag Connor’s confidence down (task that he has always accomplished successfully). Connor has always tried to win your dad’s favor but to Y/D/N’s eyes, Connor was just a kid who plays with a camera and think that’s a job.

When Connor wakes up, the first thing he sees is your beautiful figure cuddled against his right side. Your body is covered by just his shirt and nothing more, and it makes him feel all cozy inside because it means that all of you is his. You are completely knocked out, it’s a normal occurrence whenever you see your father, he never fails on getting on your nerves and tiring you to death, especially when he starts throwing knives at Connor like there’s no tomorrow. Connor gives you a light kiss on your forehead and decides to go out for a run, he needs it to clear his mind a little. When he steps out of bed you start moving on your sleep but you don’t get up. He tries not to make too much noise while he’s getting dressed and when he is finally out of the house, he lets a long exhale escape from his lips. Con knows that he shouldn’t give a fuck about what your dad thinks about him but he does because he agrees with your father, you deserve better.  

By the time Connor starts running following the peace of some catchy pop song, every snarky word your dad said yesterday comes to his mind, crashing him with the force of wave colliding against the rocks.

“Do you remember Thomas Lebrant, darling?” asked you father while he was looking at the menu.

“Yes dad, I remember Tom.” of course you did remember Tom, you dated him for a year... before you left him for Connor.

“I saw him him the other day, he’s doing great at medical school, he will have a bright future, he’s a very hard-working man, he asked me about you. I really think he was your perfect match.”  

Connor remembered Thomas too, your first boyfriend, he was the guy every father wanted for his daughter: perfect grades, perfect looks, perfect behavior... he was just perfect. You started dating him when you were seventeen and spent a whole year with him, but when you met Connor you started to feel things you had never felt before and you had to break up.  

Con will never forget the day he saw you for the first time. It was a sunny day in LA, he was at the beach with Sam doing a photoshoot with an Instagram model called Lydia Hanni, she was laying on the hot sand and he was supposed to be taking photos of her body, but he couldn’t focus his camera on her, he was too busy filming the beautiful girl playing frisbee with her friends. When you noticed a pair of eyes on you, you turned around and saw Connor with his camera. He waved his hand to say ‘hi’ and you smiled, at that moment Connor swears he felt his whole world stop. That was the beginning of your love story and your dad’s worst headache ever.

“Good for him, dad. I guess you told him that I’m doing pretty good with Uni and my lovely boyfriend.” you reached for Connor’s hand and you pressed a little kiss on it. Your father let out a sigh and Connor smiled at you. You had the power to make everything better.

“I told him you had a little adventure with some guy.”

‘A two years adventure’ thought Connor.

At first he thought that her dad needed time to warm up to him, but time passed and he didn’t change his mindset. He hoped that when he started working for Shawn your dad would be happy, but that didn’t occur, in fact, he got pissed because he was going with his friends to have fun in Europe leaving you alone. Nothing he does it’s good for your dad and that’s eating him alive. He tries to ignore it but it gets harder every single day.  

“Have you found a real job yet?”

“My friend is looking for a coffee guy for his office, I could call him if you are interested?”

“How much has your boss payed you for your hobby? I mean, it’s not a very hard task.”

“Did you have fun on tour? Doing nothing playing with your friends?”

He loves his job and he’s proud of it but he is starting to believe that it’s not enough for you. Your father is right, you are worth of a rich, wealthy man that can give you all you want in matter of minutes. You always say that he’s the best that has ever happened to you, but now he thinks you say that because he’s keeping you away from greater things that you’ll never discover if you’re with him.

When he arrives home after an hour of running, he goes straight to the shower, maybe that’s what he needs to clear his mind for good. Once the hot water hits his muscles, he lets a satisfied moan, a hot shower never fails to relax him.

You wake up the moment you hear the water running from the bathroom, you guess that’s Connor having a morning shower but once you notice his sport clothes scattered across the bedroom floor, you know he’s probably gone out to clear his mind a little. You can’t blame him though, the shitshow your dad pulled yesterday at the restaurant was capable to put everyone on the edge of their sanity. You have talked nearly a billion times with your dad about his behavior with your boyfriend but he always ignores it. You’re sick of it because Connor doesn’t deserve an ounce of the shit your father aims at him, no one really deserves it to be honest. Your boyfriend is the best that has ever happened to you and you’re so proud and in love with him that whenever your dad opens his big mouth, your heart breaks a little.

You decide to get out of bed and get into the shower with him to show him some love. You get rid of your shirt when you enter the bathroom. Connor hasn’t realized yet that you’re there and very much awake so you got him by surprise when you stepped into the shower.

Everything in you is alluring and lovely to Connor’s eyes and your body is no exception. He loved and praised every inch of it, it’s his temple, the place where all his problems disappear. He was completely addicted to it, therefore when you decide to enter the shower, his first instinct is to pull your naked body closer to his.

“Hi, love.” this pet-name always sends shivers down your spine and makes you smile like an idiot “How are you?” you were both under the hot stream of water, nose and foreheads touching and eyes closed.

“That’s what I should be asking, handsome.” you whisper as you kiss him delicately, like you’re afraid of breaking him.  

“I’ve been better.” he confesses with a forced smile. He doesn’t want you to worry about him but you know too well that grimace on his face and the dull look on his beautiful eyes.

“I’m so sorry about my dad, I can’t believe what an asshole he can be.” you’re really ashamed by your father, he never respects your decisions or opinions, each time he tries to impose his no matter what.  

“You don’t have to excuse him, I mean, he’s not wrong.” he looks away because he knows that if he sees your breathtaking eyes, he’ll break down in matter of seconds.

“What do you mean he’s not wrong, Con?” you hold his face between your hands and you make him look at you.

“He’s right about me.” he says heartbroken.

“No, he’s not, baby.” you try to reason with him but he doesn’t take it and watching him so sad is destroying you.

“C’mon Y/N, he’s right. You are this beautiful, kind, smart and amazing woman and I’m a kid with a camera. All your life you’ve been surrounded by the most incredible things on Earth, your dad could give you all you wanted. I’ll never be able to do that, I can’t take you to Bali every month, I can’t pay your studies... You know who could? Thomas, he was perfect for you and I took you away, if you were with him, I bet you’d be happier becau...” you smack his chest before he can finish his ridiculous speech, now you’re pissed and frustrated, he can’t be saying all of that, can he?

“I swear to god, Connor David Brashier, that if you say something like all the bullshit you have just said, I’ll kick you out of the house until your two remaining brain cells realize how utterly stupid you are.”

“Bab...” he tries to interrupt you but you shut him off before he can argue back.

“Don’t ‘Babe’ me, idiot. Connor, I love you, more than anything, you’re my world. Listen, maybe my dad has always given me whatever the hell I wanted, do you know the price? He was never there for me, I was left alone 24/7, on my birthdays, recitals, competitions, even in my own graduation, he showered me with gifts but not love. And Tom, he was a nice guy, he treated me right and all of that, always so perfect, it was boring as fuck: we never stayed three days in a row at home doing nothing besides fucking and eating, he never surprised me with 3 AM dates at the beach or with little getaways at Target... Tom was just there but he didn’t make me feel anything, not the way you do. I want you. You’re the best part of my life and I can’t imagine a future without you. I don’t care about monthly travels to Bali, I care about months just by your side. I love you Connor, you’re perfect.”

Once you finish your monologue, you notice he’s crying. You clean his tears with your soft fingers and he kisses you passionately against the shower wall.

“I love you, Y/N” he embraces you strongly, afraid that if he loosens his grip, you’ll disappear.  

“I love you Connor, let me show you.” you kneel down and that’s the only thing Connor needs to know that he’s in for a very long morning and he’s so ready for it.

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I hope you all have enjoyed it. Please like, comment or repost if you liked it. Right now, I’m working on a long Shawn Mendes fic, tell me if you’d like to read it.

[arelya-andaria]

Phantom London Review 17-18/01/2020

What a wonderful show! A wonderful evening, brilliant performers, and a small phantom to take home with me ❤ Couldn't resist his cutest face 😍 Corinne Cowling was on and she was an amazing Christine. Her final lair was incredible and she really struggled to give back the ring. You could tell she was heartbroken at the idea of leaving him. I think they were holding hands with the ring between them. At stage door, she told me she just wanted to say I love you back to him!! And so dreamy and beautiful, her "twisted every way" was a definite stand out. Her songs were wonderful, she looked amazingly flustered in All I ask of You when he kneels in front of her. She looks so happy throughout it all, even the next day in the ensemble she was just radiating with joy.

Josh is the sweetest guy ever. I got a hug!! And he was so humble and kind, I really liked meeting him and can't wait to go back tomorrow and chat some more. His phantom was great. Wonderful Music of the night and Final Lair. He had some nice ad libs too but I've trying to remember them all evening and nothing comes back. I'll see if he does them again tomorrow.

Danny was a good enjoyable Raoul, more so in act 2 than in act 1. Seeing he's such a sweet guy in real life, I thought his Raoul would take a more gentle side, but he's a bit colder than I thought he would be. Still I really liked him, and his voice was great and he too struggled in final lair to get christine to follow him.

Britt as Carlotta is a powerhouse. Her expressions and acting were amazing. She really shines in that role. And she was so kind at stage door!

The managers had a wonderful dynamic, I loved them and Notes and Prima Donna sounded better than I'd ever heard it.

Mostly I adored Corinne and then Josh and then Danny

That first evening Paul wasn’t on as Piangi but it was Simon and he was very good, very entertaining and a good dynamic with Carlotta. Though it was with Paul that Britt really has that wonderful chemistry. They were great together.

Georgia as Meg has the sweetest voice, even though it sometimes got drowned out in the orchestra. But I loved when Madame Giry comes to her to say “Meg, are you a dancer”, she straightened as if to say “Yes, and I’m a good and proud one”, and it’s so endearing.

Madame Giry was Sophie Caton the three times, and although I didn’t really like her (as I didn’t like Jacinta (the usual one) either last time I came), I warmed up to her performance by the third time. She does it well, but is still a little bit too cold to me.

The ensemble did an amazing job too, and as I was sitting so close to the stage I could see all the shimmering costumes and the details I always miss. The wardrobe mistress stood out too, losing her needle after running after Carlotta in Hannibal, seeming so happy for Christine as she helps her change in Angel of Music, and so heartbroken after Piangi’s death.

*-*

The day after I saw Kelly as Christine twice and I loved her too! Her voice is incredible, she has such an elegant take on the character, her Think of Me was beautiful, she had lots of graceful arm movements in the end which I loved. After the phantom calls her right before Angel of music she looks so dreamy and happy to have pleased her Angel. There was an almost kiss (well nearly two with the touch me/ trust me one) in Music of the night, she looks so entranced by him and so happy to be with him. Her Wishing was out of this world, she begins softly but her final notes grew very strong and beautiful I had non stop goosebumps. She was a strong Christine in Final lair, met the phantom head on and I loved how she kissed him. During the second kiss he’s slowly embracing her. He’s always trying to touch her during Final lair, so desperate to convince her. Danny had to pull her to him to get her to leave after the "go now and leave me!". The ring return was colder than with Corinne but it was very purposeful, gently taking his hand and placing the ring there, and then running away. Heartbreaking.

I remembered now that Josh sways his hands to the music in Point of no return when Christine sings, and when she says "the tears I might have shed..." he's whispering frantically "Don't say it... Don't say it". It's too low to be caught on the audio which is sad because it was honestly heartbreaking. He says "toad" very strangely too in Il Muto, so mocking he can't be bothered to say it right I'd say.

With this show, it’s easy to remember why it’s meant to be seen live. The orchestra, the chandelier rising just above my head, the voices and the actors so, so close and giving it their all, the wonderful sets and costumes, I think I’m loving it every time a little bit more, discovering even more details every time, and by the time the curtain fell on the third show, I was ready to go and see it a fourth, a fiftth time. I can never get enough of that music and those feelings I get when I see it. It feels like such a priviledge to be able to witness such great art, and I’m thankful I took a chance and decided to go on a whim, and could afford to do so. I could never, ever regret it.

I'm still trying to adjust back to normal life after such a wonderful time, meeting them afterwards at stage door was a fantastic experience, and Josh hugged me again after I saw him on Saturday night. He was the sweetest, loveliest guy and I feel sorry I doubted his phantom and his take on the character because he really got it. Not perfect of course (to me) but a very, very enjoyable one. And he made me cry of course. I much prefer the London blocking even though in MotN it almost feels like Christine jumps in his arms rather than fall, but I prefer it that way ^^ (Can you tell I have a slight phantom crush on him? because I really liked seeing him and chatting a bit.

Now March is on the horizon and I can't wait to meet THE phantom with his angel's voice who has so thoroughly captured my heart, (aka JRox) but I'll be looking forward to going to see Josh and the rest of the amazing London Cast this summer. And I keep my fingers crossed he'll stay for more than just this year. Unless of course a handsome phantom freshly returned from the world tour decides (or rather is allowed) to come grace this European stage 🤞🤞.