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stellanova002 · 4 years ago

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Sanders Sides Highschool AU - “Stay True to Yourself”

This story is going to focus on all the sides and the different dilemmas they face. (The dilemmas can reach from school, family, friends to personal identity.)

Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil and Remus and Janus.

Summary: Virgil has moved around all his life and never been able to quite settle down. He and his dad have just moved to Florida, and Virgil is super nervous about starting high school. Adding to the already existing fear of going to high school, is also the fact that Virgil always has been picked on in school. He doesn’t know if it is because of his style in clothing, his hobbies or the fact that he is.....well, gay. And he has finally had enough! Virgil decides to put on a tougher persona, so, when school starts he is never letting anyone mess with him ever again.

Chapter 1

Growing up and figuring out who you are is one of the hardest challenges you can face; Especially as a teenager. You are expected to know what you want your future to look like while you also struggle with grades, family, friends, and all the other things going on in your body. You are no longer a child but also nowhere near grown-up. And the adults in your life will constantly remind you of this. They seem to get to decide when you are old enough to take responsibility and when you are too young to make your own decisions.

And nowhere is this more apparent than in high school.

It is Monday morning and the summer break is over. A small car is driving on the highway with two individuals inside. A father and a son. In the car's backseat, the son, Virgil, shifts his focus from the road to the window, trying to keep himself occupied. The world outside keeps on passing by and the speed is making all buildings, trees, and people look like blurred objects.

Meanwhile, in the driver's seat, the father adjusts the rearview mirror to take a look at his son. Virgil has his head leaned on his palm and is staring out the window, he is wearing his usual striped hoodie, a dark purple t-shirt, and ripped black jeans.

Virgil’s father sights. It’s been two years since the death of his wife and Virgil has been going through a lot. He has lost count of how many times Virgil has had to switch schools because of bullying, and how many times they’d been forced to move because of his old job.

Virgil and his father are new to the city, they recently moved here during the summer break. One of the many reasons for moving was that Virgil's father got a new job and he thought it would be the perfect opportunity to start over.

The light from the sun then bounces off the mirror and reflects onto Virgil. Virgil who is blinded by it turns to see where it came from, only to discover that his dad is looking at him.

Noticing that he’s been caught his dad quickly looks back on the road, embarrassed.

Virgil then sits up and starts to fiddle with his fingers, unable to distract from his thoughts any longer.

'What if I screw up? What if I say something wrong that will make everyone hate me?! Dad would eventually find out and come to the confusion that we'd have to move again. Fuck. Can we even afford to move?! Dad just got a new job. We just got here and now I'm going to end up ruining everything! Why do I always have to be such a pain?!'

Virgil's father tries to call his son's name but Virgil is not responding - being too caught up in his spiraling thoughts.

The car then slows down to a gentle crawl. Virgil's father leans back and gently pats Virgil on his knee. "Hey buddy, how are you holding up?" His touch is enough to snap Virgil out of it.

After a moment's silence, Virgil turns to his dad and shrugs. “I dunno. Fine, I guess…”

“That did not look fine."

“I- I’m just nervous”, Virgil admits, “I don’t want to screw this up.”

"You won't screw anything up." His father's gaze is stern. "You never have and you never will."

Virgil wrinkles his nose and scoffs. 'We all know that's not true'

"Besides everyone is nervous on their first day, you won't be the only one."

"Yeah, but not everyone has anxiety", Virgil mutters to himself.

His father turns his head away, clenching his jaw, not knowing how to respond to that. Instead, they continue to drive in silence.

Virgil is sitting hunched, his body turned away from his dad.

"What I meant to say was… ", his father says, unable to take the silence any longer, "Everyone is starting their freshman year. This is a new school and people have surely matured during the summer. I don't think you have anything to be afraid of."

"I'm not so sure… I mean look at me!" Virgil gestures to himself.

"I am", his father says, "and all I see is a perfectly normal boy."

Virgil snorts. "Yeah right, because a normal boy would totally wear this, put on eyeshadow, and get a crush on other boys!"

"Yes!"

"Normal boys didn't get bullied like me, dad!"

His dad grips the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turn white. Of course, he knows that Virgil has never been like most kids; He was always a little too sensitive and enjoyed things that most boys didn't. However, all that still doesn't justify how other people treated him.

Yes, his son may not be like the majority but so what!? There is nothing wrong with that.

"We're here…" The car, now in the school's parking lot, comes to a stop. Virgil climbs out of the car and grabs his backpack, he adjusts the large headphones around his neck and shuts the door.

His father scrolls down the car window.

"Love you, stormcloud."

Virgil gives his father a small smile. "Yeah, I know dad.."

He tilts his head, a serious expression on his face. "And promise me that you will begin to stand up for yourself."

"...Yeah...I’ll try...."

The window slowly begins to creep back up. "I'm serious!”, he points to his son, “I need to get to work now, call me if you need anything and please, at least try to make some friends. Okay, kiddo?"

Virgil just nods, not willing to make any promises.

The car then begins to drive away and fade from Virgil's eye view. After it disappears Virgil takes a deep breath as he turns to look at his new school, a dreaded feeling in his stomach.

Ugh! He is so tired of being scared of places like this.

Behind this door, anything could happen. His life could finally change for the better; he could meet new friends and make high school the best years of his life...or….It could be another school filled with bullies making him wish he was never born.

Although... thinking back to his earlier school years, Virgil might think of a way to make people leave him alone. In his previous schools, there were always those kids that nobody dared to mess with. They were confident, took no one’s bullshit, and had, let’s just say...a bad reputation. Not even the worst bullies dared to do anything to them.

With determination in his eyes, Virgil flattens his hair and makes his bangs cover his eyes. He straightens his posture, puts his hands in his pockets, and marches towards the school.

“Friends”, Virgil sneers, “Never had them before so why should I need them now?"

'Besides, who would even want to be friends with someone like me…'

"Patton!"

"Yeah, mom?!"

"Could you please come down and help me, sweetie?!"

"Of course! I'll be right there!"

Twenty minutes away from the school, in a nice little cul-de-sac, a boy dressed in a cyan-blue polo shirt and grey cardigan bounces down the stairs and walks into his kitchen.

In the kitchen, his mom is standing and preparing lunch while his siblings, Liam and Fiona, are eating cereal by the kitchen table.

Patton gives his mom a huge smile. "Morning, mom!"

She returns the gesture, "Good morning", she says and puts in three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the lunch bags.

Patton looks around, "What did you want help with?"

"Can you take these bags and put them in Fiona and Liam's backpacks."

"Sure thing!"

Patton walks up to his mom, gives her a peck on the cheek, and takes the sandwiches to the backpacks down the hall.

After putting the bags in the backpacks Patton checks to see if his siblings have packed everything; extra clothes; some fruit; a stuffed animal. He just knows they can't bear to be without them.

When he gets back to the kitchen, Fiona and Liam have already put their bowls in the sink and run upstairs to brush their teeth.

Patton is just about to go up and see if they need help when his mom calls for him:

“Patton, honey can I talk to you for a second?” The smile on her face is gone and she is standing with her arms tangled in front of her.

Patton hesitates. Has he done something wrong?

He puts his hands behind his back and twists his body before he makes his way to his mom, eyes looking down at the floor.

She kneels, takes a hold of his hands, and pulls them forward.

"Am I in trouble…?", Patton asks, a lump forming in his throat.

"No, sweetie…", she kisses his forehead, "You're not in trouble. I'm sorry if I made it seem that way."

Patton’s whole body relaxes and he lets out a sigh of relief.

“Your Dad and I have just been talking about something", her smile drops and it turns into a frown. "We are going to be very short on staff at work, both at the hospital and at the residential home. It is going to be very likely that we both need to work overtime. This will affect a lot of things back home, things like picking up Fiona and Liam from school, dropping them off at training, and helping them with their homework." His mom grabs his hand tightly. "I know this isn’t fair - but Dad and I need you to step up and take some more responsibility. Can you do that?“

Patton’s parents both work in service jobs. His dad works as a nurse at the hospital and his mom works at a residential home. It's not the best-paying jobs but they manage to get by and Patton couldn’t be more proud of them and the work that they do.

But there is part of him that is worried about how this will affect school. What if this is going to negatively affect his grades and make him fall behind.

Patton looks at his mom, standing there in her uniform, looking tired and just waiting for an answer. He can’t possibly say something to make her feel bad. He is starting high school right now, he shouldn’t even have any hesitations about this…

A selfless person wouldn't….

Patton puts on his most genuine smile. “Of course. It is about time to practice some...uhh….adultery!”

She snickers.

“I am so proud of you! Continuing to be our happy little boy.”

“That’s me!”, Patton points to himself.

Mom gives him a hug, stands up, and lightly pushes him towards the stairs. “I think it’s time for you to go up and tell your brother and sister that they need to hurry up. The school bus is almost here.”

“Beep! Beep! Beep!” Roman groans at the sound of the alarm.

The alarm keeps beeping for a while before he sits up in his bed and turns to the side to shut it off. Roman then quickly yawns and looks at the clock:

It’s 6:50.

School starts at 8:00 so he might as well wake up and get ready. It takes time to look as fabulous as he does every day.

And it's about half an hour's drive from his dad's mansion to the school.

Roman gets out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom. He passes by his brother Remus' room and it's pitch black, he is still fast asleep and snoring loudly.

Roman rolls his eyes and walks up to his brother's bed. He claps his hands and the lights turn on, but Remus just groans. Roman then grabs the covers and pulls them off.

But as the covers come off Roman sees something he wishes he could unsee. "OH MY GOD!", Roman shrieks.

There laying in his bed is Remus; Naked.

Remus stretches out his whole body, sheepishly smiling at Roman. "Morning, Ro. Slept well?"

"Shut up! Where are your clothes?!"

Remus swings his feet off the bed, laughing. "You should know that by now, Roman. I sleep in the buff."

"That is disgusting!" Roman throws a pair of underwear at his brother. "Get dressed."

While Remus puts on the underpants Roman goes to the bathroom to get ready. He locks the door, takes off his pajamas, and gets in the shower.

After washing himself and putting on deodorant, Roman looks at his reflection in the mirror. 'Looking good~'.

He dries his hair, combs it, and finishes it up with some hairspray. And as a final touch, he puts on a light patch of makeup - some baby cream, foundation, and just a small winged eyeliner.

'Wouldn't want dad to make a big deal of it.'

BAM! BAM! BAM!

Roman flinches at the sudden noise. "What the hell Remus?!"

Remus continues to knock on the door."Get out of the bathroom, Ro! It's my turn. You know that there's not enough makeup in the world to improve that mug!"

"WE HAVE THE SAME FACE."

Roman takes his bathrobe and throws the door open. He gives his brother an annoyed glance as they switch places.

He looks at the clock in the hall: 7:15

Shit!!!

Roman ruches back to his room and puts on the clothes he laid out yesterday. After putting on tight-fitted jeans, a white t-shirt, and a red sports-jacket, he runs down the house's marble staircase and into the kitchen.

As Roman enters the kitchen, he sees that his father is in the dining room reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee. Roman hesitates before he fills his bowl with some yogurt and berries, and joins him at the table. His father is wearing his pristine dark blue suit and his suitcase rest beside his chair.

He glances at Roman, eyeing him up and down. “Son.”

“Father.”

Remus arrives just a few minutes later, his hair is wet from the shower and he's putting on socks in a hurry. He's wearing a booger green shirt, black military-printed pants, and a spiked leather jacket. Remus glances at the clock and notices that he has limited time, so he decides to take a banana from the fruit bowl. The atmosphere is uneasy as they all continue to eat their breakfast.

The father then takes a long sip of his coffee before folding his newspaper and leaning down on the table.

“Boys, you are about to move onto the next stage of your lives and I think it’s important that you begin to act your age.” He glares at Roman. “Which starts by quitting your childish hobbies and focusing on something more worthwhile”.

Roman slams his hand on the counter. "But dad!"

"No objections! You are a talented sportsman son, it's about time you quit that girly activity and apply to the school's football team."

He then looks at Remus, who has put the whole banana in his mouth. “And Remus, I don't ask for much, just don't get into a habit of getting into trouble. And please, try not to ruin this family’s reputation…”

“Yes, dad…”, Roman sights.

“Whatever you say, pops” Remus scoffs, why should he care about his family's stupid reputation. It's only a reputation for being boring rich snobs anyway.

Their father straightens his tie, stands up, and grabs his suitcase. "Mr. Sato will drive you to school. I have to get to the airport for my business trip. You’ll be staying with your mom this week, and I’ll see you at the end of the weekend." He puts away his coffee mug and leaves the kitchen without saying anything else to them; no “good luck”, no “have a great day”, or even “I love you”.

Roman can only hope to hear at least a goodbye from his father but knows he is gone the moment the front door slams shut.

The twins then finish their breakfast and step outside, waiting for Mr.Sato to drive the car out of the garage. He opens the door for both of them, respectfully nodding his head to say good morning. Roman returns the gesture.

Mr. Sato is the boy’s personal chauffeur, the one who has taken them to school for most of their lives. Roman really likes Sato, he always listens to him and makes him feel like he can be himself around him. He’s who Roman will turn to when he needs to vent to anyone besides his friends.

Roman’s face lights up as he thinks about them. That’s right, he’ll see his friends today! God, how he’s missed them. Patton’s warm hugs, Logan’s wordplays, their playful banter.

If one thing is certain is that these school years will be just like the rest. Just him, Logan, and Patton. Like it always has been.

Like it always will be.

#sanders sides high school au #high school au #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #Janus Sanders #stay true to yourself #eventual prinxiety #eventual logicality #eventual demus #eventual dukeceit #sanders sides fic

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17caratstorytime-blog · 7 years ago

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Dear Diary...

Member: Minghao

Genre: angst?

Words: 2k

*A/N: I originally wrote this one with none of the boys in mind but apparently Minghao fits best? But feel free to think of any of the others in instead~ Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!* -Admin 🐯

August 24

I’ve never been one for diaries, but with you gone and constantly busy, I guess this will have to do for now. Hope you’re eating well and taking care of yourself. I wanted to be there to do that all for you, but we both knew that would mean having to leave school and right now, school is all I have left. Now that you’ve left too.

September 3

I walked by the coffee shop today. Twice, actually. I went in the second time. Ordered your normal drink: a venti iced Americano with four pumps of hazelnut because you can’t deal with bitter coffee without some sweetness. Somehow, in the midst of the smell of ground coffee beans and fall spice, I caught a whiff of your cologne. Two seconds. For two seconds, I felt I was back in your arms, pulled tight against your body. Safe. Warm. At home. And as soon as those two seconds ended, I was back in reality. A reality where you’re not here in front of me, scolding me for ordering a frozen drink when the streets are already preparing themselves for snow. I won’t be coming back here anymore. Not unless you’re here with me.

October 11

It’s been a while. I got busy. Midterms, essays, school festivals and organization activities…but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been keeping an eye on you. You and the boys all looked amazing. The footage from the recent concert was absolutely astounding. You’ll never realize how proud I am of you. You were literally glowing. Staring out into the crowd of blinking lights overflowing with love, where you are meant to be. Of course, there is that dull ache within me that I can’t be there. I can’t be that for you. But, that smile. My god, that beautiful, blinding smile of yours, your teeth showing and your eyes squinting into tiny smiles. You’ve never looked so beautiful, my love. If it meant your smile could be like that every day, I’ll endure this separation for eternity if I have to.

October 19

It hasn’t been that long, but I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts to breathe. You were the sun shining through the window, the warm comforter wrapped around my body on stormy nights. You kept me grounded, alive. It was never going to be easy, I knew that going in. Your eyes always drew me in. I loved them most without the contacts, you know, but being a member of Seventeen, you couldn’t really get away from them. But, those deep brown eyes that seemed to glow, they always landed me in one form of trouble. Be it running from fans, nearly getting caught by security, or sneaking out of the dorms to explore downtown in the dead of the night. I knew it was going to be hard, but each day I choke back tears. I try to smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes anymore apparently. You’re out there, laughing, living, exploring with the people you love the most and I’m happy for you, but my lips are dry and my eyes are wet. And it’s all because of you.

November 7

Do you think, that if I never fell in love with you, that I could live a normal life? A happier life? Sometimes I want to turn back time and make it so I never touched your hand at the fan sign, waited ten minutes before leaving my friends to go to the restroom. Maybe I would not have run into you then. Maybe you wouldn’t have tried to talk to me and then accidentally spill water all over my shirt. I could have had a life without you and I could have been satisfied not loving you like this. Sometimes I want to get into a car accident. Wake up with amnesia and completely forget we were once an inseparable something that everyone was jealous of. Forget the way you’d pull me in closer by the waist and rest your head on top of mine. Forget the first time you tried to teach me how to roller skate, and nearly ended up breaking my arm because you forgot to teach me how to stop myself. Forget the way your lips would softly press against mine each night you came home, your sweaty skin and cold touch long forgotten in the soft passion of the moment. Why did you do this to me? Why did you love me so much that it became my source of survival? Why? Why? Why?

December 22

I…I don’t know what to say anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I loved you so much. I still love you. I will always love you. But, this has to end. Goodbye.

March 14

I’ve spent weeks looking at this, reading each of your words. How could you have thought this was any easier for me? That I didn’t love you. That I didn’t want to stay with you. That sleeping every single night without you was suddenly so goddamn easy. Did you really think you were the only one who was in pain? Did you think I wanted to fall in love with you just to leave you behind for so long, unable to contact you, to touch you, to hold you every moment I was home, to tell you how much you mean to me, how much I love. Why would you do this to me? To us? Can you imagine what it felt to walk into our home, where I was so sure you would be waiting for me, only to find everything of yours gone? Did you begin to despise me so much? You were thorough to take everything that was yours…but you left behind everything I gave you. From the hoodies…to the promise ring.

March 29

I’ve spent every single moment since I’ve come home just searching for you. The boys have too. We miss you. I miss you. I just want you back. I’ve counted down the days until I could have you back in my arms. Why must you do this to me? Why must I wait longer? Did I hurt you that much? Do I even deserve you anymore?

April 8

Your parents won’t tell me where you are, but they say you’re doing well. I’m glad. I’m relieved. You’re almost done with college, then you’ll be off to better things in life. I can only hope one of those things will be me. I may not be perfect, but for you, I want to be the best man I can be. Until I have you back, I’ll keep the ring here. I’m not giving up on you.

May 18

I saw you. At our old coffee shop. The one you stopped going to. Does that mean you’ve moved on? Am I just a memory now? My love for you is painful. I want to smile. To live and breathe. The way you seemed to be doing now, headphones peacefully plugged into your ears as you flip the pages of the novel you hold in your hands, worn from how many times you’ve read it. I’m not tired of waiting for you, my love, and I wanted to get up to you but I couldn’t. I had one chance, but I sat there and stared. I was scared seeing me would hurt you. That you would cry. And I cannot bear your pain. Not anymore. Not because of me. My songs, they will scream my yearning for you. My heart, it will continue to bleed for you, but your smile. I never will touch it again if it means you will keep wearing it.

June 16

I wonder if my love can reach you, if the songs spoke to you the words I wish to have told you, the words I have been burying deep inside me. You know, our Carats, they’re a smart group. They have me all figured out, but they think it’s another of the members. It’s driving them insane, but I can’t tell them our story. So, I will listen to these words. When you hear them, don’t turn away. Don’t turn away from my heart like this. I cry, I won’t lie. I try not to, but the pain in unbearable. How are you okay? Do you truly not love me anymore? I’ve yet to grow tired of waiting, but I’m scared you have already moved on. I thought I would be able to let you go, but I can’t. Call me selfish, I don’t care. Please. Come back to me so we can fix this. I want to be happy, but without you, there is no point of wishing. You’re all I need.

June 25

I held you. For ten beautiful seconds, I held you. I didn’t know you would be coming for dinner. You looked…astounding. You seemed to be doing so well. Finally graduated, you were beaming and telling the boys everything about we had missed. But, you would not look at me. You would not talk to me. You would not acknowledge me. What can I do now to fix this gap between us so we can go back to where we were together and in love?

August 8

You’re a complete idiot. A goddamn, brainless, spineless coward. After everything , this was all you could do for us? Happy without you? I cried myself to sleep in our empty bed nights on end. I stopped eating. Stopped seeing my friends. All I would think of was you and how much it hurt to let you go. For so long, it felt empty. Our home became prison. It was full of everything we were, everything I was desperate to have back…when I left, it was because I realized I couldn’t live like that. I wanted to breathe again, to remember a life where everything didn’t revolve around you. That day at the coffee shop, I saw you. You have a presence that’s hard to miss. I just wasn’t ready to face you. It wasn’t right…and so I pretended you were never there. But, not once did I stop loving you. I just learned to live without it so I wouldn’t get hurt again. And now that you’re home…I realize I don’t want that. I would rather risk it than losing you again like that. So…come find me and put that ring back on my finger. I don’t think I can wait any longer.

Minghao had just lifted the pen to begin writing, mind drowning in the thoughts of her. He was so lost in his own thoughts, he almost didn’t notice the page before had been filled had it not been for the marks of dried tears that breached the sheet before. The moment his eyes found the curves of the words etched in ink, they scanned each letter multiple times. It had not even completely sunk in when the diary dropped from his hands, fingers stumbling to grab the intricately designed metallic band he had gotten with so much love. Just for her. His feet had a mind of their own, already headed to where he was so sure she would be. Pushing through the evening crowd, his mind began to wander. The date, August 8, that was today. She had been there for lunch; when did she find the time to sneak into his room, through his belongings? His heart was pounding. Would she still be there? Is he imagining all of this? The concrete beneath his feet slowly turned into gravel as he made his way to where they fell in love and began their life together, the grassy field leading to their old apartment complex. His eyes yearned to see her, shifting focus from area to area in search of her. It felt like ages when he finally found her, but she had yet to notice him. The door to their old home was open, as though already expecting his arrival. That’s where he found her, leaning against their kitchen counter as she stared out the back window As though feeling his stare, the girl turned around. Her dark eyes went wide for a moment before turning soft, taking in his heaved posture and messy hair. Pink lips curved into a bittersweet smile, her full attention was now on him before the words he ached to hear came out of her mouth.

“Welcome home, my love.”

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travelguy4444 · 6 years ago

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8 Myths About Solo Female Travel Debunked

Updated: 8/26/2018 | August 26th, 2018

Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other women travelers to help cover the topics important and specific to them! She’s amazing and knowledgable. This month, we are starting the year off with some of the common myths people have about solo female travel!

Your partner thinks it would be selfish of you to travel without him/her. Your parents are worried for your safety. Your friends want to go with you but they are all busy working on their careers. The mainstream media tells you the world is a scary place for women. The little voice in your head whispers worries about loneliness to you. Does any of this sound familiar?

Just like you, I had a lot of misconceptions about traveling alone before I went overseas. I thought it might be dangerous, lonely, too much work, or make people think that I didn’t have any friends.

Plus, who wants to see all these amazing places completely alone? It sounded like a non-option, at least at first.

Then I realized nobody had the time to go with me, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I just had to go, or else I might never go.

So I went alone and found out that all of my assumptions about traveling solo were dead wrong. I wasn’t lonely, I didn’t end up kidnapped, and, in a lot of ways, it was actually way better to travel by myself. The freedom it afforded me, the way it grew my confidence, and all of the new friends I made were huge benefits that wouldn’t have happened it I went with a group of friends.

So for everyone who thinks that solo travel is lonely, dangerous, or boring, I am here to debunk a few common solo female travel myths to help give you the courage to get over your fears and go on an epic solo adventure

Myth #1: Solo traveling means being lonely often.

The scariest thing about traveling by yourself is the thought that you might be alone for your entire vacation, right? Who wants to travel to the other side of the world only to have to be by herself while looking at the majestic red sunrise over Angkor Wat?

I was really worried about this before I started traveling solo. Thankfully, I came to find that I made more friends in one week on the road than I had in a whole year back at home.

The best thing about traveling solo is that you’re not the only one doing it. More and more women are considering the concept of solo traveling to be realistic these days, and I couldn’t believe how it’s encouraging to see so many other solo female travelers out there traveling by themselves! Thanks to the power of social media, you can easily join online communities that are created specifically for solo female travelers, where you can gain and give support, share your travel plans, and connect with other like-minded solo female travelers. I also find that it’s easy to talk to and meet other travelers – they’re friendly people! I rarely felt alone during my years of traveling thanks to this.

Myth #2: Solo traveling is only for those who are single.

Before I started traveling and meeting people with all kinds of different stories and backgrounds, I figured that if you’re traveling by yourself, it must be because you don’t have a significant other. People who have commitments like a family or partner don’t just go traveling on their own. It must mean there’s a problem in the relationship or that they’re escaping their commitments, right?

Wrong. I came to learn that plenty of people who are in relationships travel alone, and for all kinds of reasons.

It could just be that they have different interests, something many relationship experts say is totally healthy. Maybe their partner can’t get time off from work, or maybe both parties made a conscious decision to do some soul-searching on a solo adventure, even just for a portion of the trip, and meet back up again.

Many solo travelers are single, but there are many more who are in relationships too. Just because you’re not single doesn’t mean you can’t have an awesome trip by yourself.

Myth #3: You must be extraordinarily brave to travel on your own.

A lot of my friends thought I was ultra brave and independent because I was going to travel alone. The honest truth is that I was incredibly scared and overwhelmed with the idea of traveling solo until I finally just got on the plane and went. To fear what you don’t know is just to be human. It’s in our nature.

Despite being terrified, I went anyway. Later I laughed at how scared I had been, after I realized that getting around, meeting new people, and finding things to eat was all way easier than I had ever thought it could be.

You don’t have to be sure of everything and incredibly courageous to go traveling on your own. Those things may come as a nice benefit of traveling solo, but they don’t have to be prerequisites. The hardest part is getting on the plane. After that, it’s surprisingly easy to get around language barriers, figure out timetables, and have an adventure. Plenty of locals speak at least some English, and Google Maps, translation apps, and cellphone connectivity have all made traveling so much easier than it used to be.

Myth #4: You can’t be an introvert.

I used to quietly watch the TV in bars or wear my headphones in public places so that I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. I used to feel pretty paralyzed in a room with someone with a strong personality. Basically, I was kind of awkward.

But an incredible benefit of traveling by myself is that it has made me outgoing. Even if you have trouble starting a conversation, in a hostel common room, chances are really good that eventually someone will reach out to you and bring you into a conversation. I recall that in the Philippines, a girl tapped me and asked where I’m from, and after chatting for a while, we became friends and hung out all week.

You will probably also find that after a few times approaching new people — which will be incredibly nerve-racking at first — they will be so much more open than you feared that it will be an encouraging surprise. It’s so easy to start a conversation by simply asking somebody where they’re from or where they just came from. I know those are cliché, but they also work, and before you know it, you have something to talk about.

It’s easy to build up confidence around travelers — they’re just really friendly people!

Myth #5: It’s dangerous to travel solo, especially as a woman.

You’ve seen the movie, Taken, right? The one where Liam Neeson’s daughter gets kidnapped in Europe and he kicks major butt and rescues her? Or what about Brokedown Palace, where Claire Danes gets thrown in Thai jail when a handsome stranger plants drugs on her? This is our image of girls traveling the world (thanks, Hollywood!). It’s no surprises that time and again, women are told that they should never travel solo!

First of all, neither of the protagonists in those movies actually was traveling solo. Maybe if they had been, they would have paused and listened to their voices of reason and stayed out of trouble.

Staying safe on the road is all about trusting your intuition, behaving abroad like you would at home. Would you get super drunk alone at a bar at home? Would you walk around alone at night? Talk to the locals at your guesthouse about what you should watch out for, and practice common sense. What kept you alive at home and keeps you alive on the road, too.

For more check out this post all about solo female travel safety.

And take a look at these blogs for inspiration and proof women can travel alone:

Young Adventuress

Alex in Wanderland

Me! Be My Travel Muse

Every day millions of women travel the world alone. It’s safe and doable, and you won’t end up in a ditch!

Myth #6: You will constantly get unwanted attention.

It happened from car windows when I was walking home from school at age 14, it happened when I was getting into my car at a random gas station in the middle of nowhere in Nevada, and it happens when I walk down the streets of New York City. Sometimes a boyfriend was only a few steps away — it didn’t matter. Catcalls happen abroad and at home. They’re annoying, yes, but don’t let them keep you from having the awesome solo trip you deserve.

The best way to deal with that kind of attention is to make sure you understand the modesty requirements in the countries that you visit and dress accordingly. Some women suggest wearing a wedding band, but I find that being very confident, looking people in the eye, and being respectfully assertive are all good ways to stand my ground as well.

While simply being a female does open you up for catcalls and unwanted advances in some parts of the world, in many cases, though, it’s quite the opposite, and I’m treated with respect and kindness, particularly because I’m a woman traveling on her own.

Myth #7: It’s way more work because you have to do everything yourself.

If you travel on your own, you will be making all of the decisions.

This is also the biggest benefit of traveling solo. It means that you don’t have to plan ahead if you don’t want to, and have more serendipitous fun, the novelty of which we are hardwired to crave. You don’t have to worry about whether the other person is having fun or not, or stress about doing everything for two or more people.

In fact, the more I travel solo, the more I find that planning a trip for one is often much easier than planning for a group. I get to do only exactly what I want to do, see places that others may not be interested in, and even have a “day off” in my travels without the guilt!

The benefit of complete freedom while traveling solo absolutely outweighed the extra legwork that I had to do. I also found it easy to just ask a friend which restaurant or activity they liked, or the person working at the hostel counter. It’s not that hard.

Myth #8: Traveling solo is a huge, life-changing decision.

A lot of people sell off everything they have and take off to the other side of the world with a one-way ticket in hand (I’m talking about myself here), but that doesn’t mean that everyone who travels solo has turned her life upside down in order to do it.

It can be as simple as a weekend trip alone to another city, a two-week jaunt to a warm and tropical place you’ve never been, or a monthlong solo backpacking trip in Europe between semesters. It doesn’t have to be a huge deal, and you could come right back to life as you know it before, with a few new adventures and a bit more confidence.

****It turned out that, contrary to what everyone (including me) thought, solo traveling wasn’t dangerous, boring, or lonely at all. It actually was one of the most social activities I’ve ever tried.

I ended up finding that, instead of solo traveling being a disadvantage in any way, it was actually advantageous to be free when I traveled. It endeared me more to locals, and I got to have unique experiences because I could say yes to everything, and that’s something that only solo travelers can say. It’s a big benefit to be able to go where you want when you want, without having to answer to anyone else. There must be a reason why it keeps growing in popularity year after year, right?

If traveling is about the benefits, the time spent in a new reality, and a departure from your normal, everyday life, then to traveling solo is to put those benefits on steroids. Give it a try, and you too may find that your misconceptions about it are all wrong.

Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). There’s almost nothing she won’t try and almost nowhere she won’t explore. You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.

Conquering Mountains: The ultimate Guide to Solo Female Travel

For a complete A-to-Z guide on solo female travel, check out Kristin’s new book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing and planning your trip, the book addresses the fears, safety, and emotional concerns women have about traveling alone. It features over 20 interviews with other female travel writers and travelers. Click here to learn more about the book and start reading it today!

The post 8 Myths About Solo Female Travel Debunked appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

source https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/solo-female-travel-myths/

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joshuamshea84 · 6 years ago

Text

8 Myths About Solo Female Travel Debunked

Updated: 8/26/2018 | August 26th, 2018

Plus, who wants to see all these amazing places completely alone? It sounded like a non-option, at least at first.

Then I realized nobody had the time to go with me, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I just had to go, or else I might never go.

Myth #1: Solo traveling means being lonely often.

I was really worried about this before I started traveling solo. Thankfully, I came to find that I made more friends in one week on the road than I had in a whole year back at home.

Myth #2: Solo traveling is only for those who are single.

Wrong. I came to learn that plenty of people who are in relationships travel alone, and for all kinds of reasons.

Many solo travelers are single, but there are many more who are in relationships too. Just because you’re not single doesn’t mean you can’t have an awesome trip by yourself.

Myth #3: You must be extraordinarily brave to travel on your own.

Myth #4: You can’t be an introvert.

It’s easy to build up confidence around travelers — they’re just really friendly people!

Myth #5: It’s dangerous to travel solo, especially as a woman.

First of all, neither of the protagonists in those movies actually was traveling solo. Maybe if they had been, they would have paused and listened to their voices of reason and stayed out of trouble.

For more check out this post all about solo female travel safety.

And take a look at these blogs for inspiration and proof women can travel alone:

Young Adventuress

Alex in Wanderland

Me! Be My Travel Muse

Every day millions of women travel the world alone. It’s safe and doable, and you won’t end up in a ditch!

Myth #6: You will constantly get unwanted attention.

Myth #7: It’s way more work because you have to do everything yourself.

If you travel on your own, you will be making all of the decisions.

Myth #8: Traveling solo is a huge, life-changing decision.

Conquering Mountains: The ultimate Guide to Solo Female Travel

The post 8 Myths About Solo Female Travel Debunked appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

from Traveling News https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/solo-female-travel-myths/

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melissagarcia8 · 6 years ago

Text

8 Myths About Solo Female Travel Debunked

Updated: 8/26/2018 | August 26th, 2018

Plus, who wants to see all these amazing places completely alone? It sounded like a non-option, at least at first.

Then I realized nobody had the time to go with me, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I just had to go, or else I might never go.

Myth #1: Solo traveling means being lonely often.

I was really worried about this before I started traveling solo. Thankfully, I came to find that I made more friends in one week on the road than I had in a whole year back at home.

Myth #2: Solo traveling is only for those who are single.

Wrong. I came to learn that plenty of people who are in relationships travel alone, and for all kinds of reasons.

Many solo travelers are single, but there are many more who are in relationships too. Just because you’re not single doesn’t mean you can’t have an awesome trip by yourself.

Myth #3: You must be extraordinarily brave to travel on your own.

Myth #4: You can’t be an introvert.

It’s easy to build up confidence around travelers — they’re just really friendly people!

Myth #5: It’s dangerous to travel solo, especially as a woman.

First of all, neither of the protagonists in those movies actually was traveling solo. Maybe if they had been, they would have paused and listened to their voices of reason and stayed out of trouble.

For more check out this post all about solo female travel safety.

And take a look at these blogs for inspiration and proof women can travel alone:

Young Adventuress

Alex in Wanderland

Me! Be My Travel Muse

Every day millions of women travel the world alone. It’s safe and doable, and you won’t end up in a ditch!

Myth #6: You will constantly get unwanted attention.

Myth #7: It’s way more work because you have to do everything yourself.

If you travel on your own, you will be making all of the decisions.

Myth #8: Traveling solo is a huge, life-changing decision.

Conquering Mountains: The ultimate Guide to Solo Female Travel

The post 8 Myths About Solo Female Travel Debunked appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

from Traveling News https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/solo-female-travel-myths/

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vidovicart · 6 years ago

Text

8 Myths About Solo Female Travel Debunked

Updated: 8/26/2018 | August 26th, 2018

Plus, who wants to see all these amazing places completely alone? It sounded like a non-option, at least at first.

Then I realized nobody had the time to go with me, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I just had to go, or else I might never go.

Myth #1: Solo traveling means being lonely often.

I was really worried about this before I started traveling solo. Thankfully, I came to find that I made more friends in one week on the road than I had in a whole year back at home.

Myth #2: Solo traveling is only for those who are single.

Wrong. I came to learn that plenty of people who are in relationships travel alone, and for all kinds of reasons.

Many solo travelers are single, but there are many more who are in relationships too. Just because you’re not single doesn’t mean you can’t have an awesome trip by yourself.

Myth #3: You must be extraordinarily brave to travel on your own.

Myth #4: You can’t be an introvert.

It’s easy to build up confidence around travelers — they’re just really friendly people!

Myth #5: It’s dangerous to travel solo, especially as a woman.

First of all, neither of the protagonists in those movies actually was traveling solo. Maybe if they had been, they would have paused and listened to their voices of reason and stayed out of trouble.

For more check out this post all about solo female travel safety.

And take a look at these blogs for inspiration and proof women can travel alone:

Young Adventuress

Alex in Wanderland

Me! Be My Travel Muse

Every day millions of women travel the world alone. It’s safe and doable, and you won’t end up in a ditch!

Myth #6: You will constantly get unwanted attention.

Myth #7: It’s way more work because you have to do everything yourself.

If you travel on your own, you will be making all of the decisions.

Myth #8: Traveling solo is a huge, life-changing decision.

Conquering Mountains: The ultimate Guide to Solo Female Travel

The post 8 Myths About Solo Female Travel Debunked appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

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theladyjstyle · 6 years ago

Photo

Updated: 8/26/2018 | August 26th, 2018

Plus, who wants to see all these amazing places completely alone? It sounded like a non-option, at least at first.

Then I realized nobody had the time to go with me, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I just had to go, or else I might never go.

Myth #1: Solo traveling means being lonely often.

I was really worried about this before I started traveling solo. Thankfully, I came to find that I made more friends in one week on the road than I had in a whole year back at home.

Myth #2: Solo traveling is only for those who are single.

Wrong. I came to learn that plenty of people who are in relationships travel alone, and for all kinds of reasons.

Many solo travelers are single, but there are many more who are in relationships too. Just because you’re not single doesn’t mean you can’t have an awesome trip by yourself.

Myth #3: You must be extraordinarily brave to travel on your own.

Myth #4: You can’t be an introvert.

It’s easy to build up confidence around travelers — they’re just really friendly people!

Myth #5: It’s dangerous to travel solo, especially as a woman.

First of all, neither of the protagonists in those movies actually was traveling solo. Maybe if they had been, they would have paused and listened to their voices of reason and stayed out of trouble.

For more check out this post all about solo female travel safety.

And take a look at these blogs for inspiration and proof women can travel alone:

Young Adventuress

Alex in Wanderland

Me! Be My Travel Muse

Every day millions of women travel the world alone. It’s safe and doable, and you won’t end up in a ditch!

Myth #6: You will constantly get unwanted attention.

Myth #7: It’s way more work because you have to do everything yourself.

If you travel on your own, you will be making all of the decisions.

Myth #8: Traveling solo is a huge, life-changing decision.

Conquering Mountains: The ultimate Guide to Solo Female Travel

The post 8 Myths About Solo Female Travel Debunked appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

8 Myths About Solo Female Travel Debunked https://ift.tt/2BU7PUc

#Nomadic Matt's Travel Site digital nomad

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tamboradventure · 6 years ago

Text

8 Myths About Solo Female Travel Debunked

Updated: 8/26/2018 | August 26th, 2018

Plus, who wants to see all these amazing places completely alone? It sounded like a non-option, at least at first.

Then I realized nobody had the time to go with me, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I just had to go, or else I might never go.

Myth #1: Solo traveling means being lonely often.

I was really worried about this before I started traveling solo. Thankfully, I came to find that I made more friends in one week on the road than I had in a whole year back at home.

Myth #2: Solo traveling is only for those who are single.

Wrong. I came to learn that plenty of people who are in relationships travel alone, and for all kinds of reasons.

Many solo travelers are single, but there are many more who are in relationships too. Just because you’re not single doesn’t mean you can’t have an awesome trip by yourself.

Myth #3: You must be extraordinarily brave to travel on your own.

Myth #4: You can’t be an introvert.

It’s easy to build up confidence around travelers — they’re just really friendly people!

Myth #5: It’s dangerous to travel solo, especially as a woman.

First of all, neither of the protagonists in those movies actually was traveling solo. Maybe if they had been, they would have paused and listened to their voices of reason and stayed out of trouble.

For more check out this post all about solo female travel safety.

And take a look at these blogs for inspiration and proof women can travel alone:

Young Adventuress

Alex in Wanderland

Me! Be My Travel Muse

Every day millions of women travel the world alone. It’s safe and doable, and you won’t end up in a ditch!

Myth #6: You will constantly get unwanted attention.

Myth #7: It’s way more work because you have to do everything yourself.

If you travel on your own, you will be making all of the decisions.

Myth #8: Traveling solo is a huge, life-changing decision.

Conquering Mountains: The ultimate Guide to Solo Female Travel

The post 8 Myths About Solo Female Travel Debunked appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

from Nomadic Matt's Travel Site https://ift.tt/2BU7PUc via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Nomadic Matt's Travel Site

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suburban-shaman-blog1 · 8 years ago

Text

Bakery Lady

I worked with an interesting person last night. The people in charge think I need help with attention to detail, which is probably true. I’m taking their word for it, because if I was noticing myself making mistakes I would probably not be making them.

So while I would normally have worked alone last night, instead I had a partner. She was a short woman, about forty, with the utilitarian short hair and easy strength of a working mom. She wore the military-style cap our company offers. I wear the stocking cap. This is the only insight into a person’s personality you can glean from their clothes here, everything else is a uniform.

She was one of those people who immediately tells you about what a mom they are. I generally find this exhausting. She also did not take long to let me know she was a Catholic, as she’s having the kid baptized soon.

And yet, I found myself quickly and constantly drawn into easy conversation with her. This was stranger than it sounds. Most of the time I work with men around my age, and every last one of us works wearing headphones and mostly ignoring the other guy. For young men, this is usually a comfortable way to coexist. This is how a predator shows he wants to be peaceful and friendly; he does not watch you or enter your space.

I guess it’s different with women. I talked to women all day at my last job, but that was during the day and my job required me to be constantly communicating with everyone. As a night baker, you might go three or four hours without saying a word, all night if you’re alone, so the conversation is all voluntary. If nobody feels like talking, they don’t.

Maybe when you’re thrown into a locked building with a strange man twice your size, it makes sense to try to get to know him right away. Maybe it would have been unsettling for me to lumber around laughing and muttering to myself while I listened to podcasts. Sometimes it’s hard not to frame every interaction I have as ‘how this person is managing to deal with me’. I still don’t even like it when I know people can hear me breathing, it feels like I must be bothering them. I always worry that I’m making women feel unsafe, because of the way so many of my friends talk about men. I wish I was smaller a lot of the time. Even weaker. I wish my aspect made people see how not threatening I really am.

This lady at the bakery was extremely friendly and easygoing. She did her stuff, and had nothing to say about the way I did mine. We talked, first about work, than our immediate circumstances.

At some point or perhaps on a gradient, we just naturally started talking more personally. The work we do is about steady, constant, but simple effort, and takes up very little attention. Both of us feel like we are making our partners unhappy with our odd work hours. Maybe this is something all the bakers are dealing with, but this was the first time I’d really talked to someone else about it.

We talked about how we don’t spend a lot of time with friends or family either. And before long, we both revealed that it wasn’t really because we work nights. Some of the people in her family are dismissive and distant, a lot of the people in mine are psychological terrorists who like to ruin special occasions.

She talked about wanting to deliberately create joy and magic in her child’s life. I agreed that that sounded like a worthwhile effort. My immediate, cynical reaction was thinking that it’s dumb to play Tooth Fairy with kids, it sends the wrong message to let them actually believe in Santa Claus. But for once I was able to let that go, and I think it was because of how honest and earnest she had been, ever since I’d met her a couple hours ago.

Thinking about holidays with my family makes me want to be a less cynical person. Christmas surrounded by sarcasm and teasing and fighting is as blasphemous and unnatural as having Thanksgiving with a gang of reanimated corpses. My one uncle hasn’t had a holiday until his daughter has cried about something. The whole clan can’t just express love for each other, even when they feel it. They can’t just be happy for each others’ happiness. Not without a joke, or some kind of trick to make it less serious.

I miss magic. I miss the warmth I could summon with my faith, and make myself feel. There is still wonder in my life, now, but it’s different. I can experience the awe of space, of nature, of art. But when I believed in that specific brand of Jesus I could feel something that my family never gave me, and which I think I’ll never know again; I could feel comforted, safe, like I belonged where I was. Like I was loved unconditionally, that nothing I had ever done, or could possibly do, would ever change that love. Like I had been created on purpose and it was good that I existed.

I gather from second-hand accounts that some people feel like that about their parents, or going home. I can believe it. I just don’t think I can get myself there.

The lady at the bakery talked to me about our favorite movies, especially Disney cartoons. She was aware, in a way that I admired, of the messages being taught by stories, and I was pleased to be able to recommend The Iron Giant. Not Disney, better than Disney.

She told me lots of movies make her cry. I told her the only thing that’s made me sob like a child in a long time, was this one scene from the first season finale of The Leftovers. I didn’t tell her which scene, because it would be a big spoiler, but I will give you a hint: It’s the last scene you might expect a heathen like me to appreciate. Justin Theroux deserves some kind of statuette award.

It’s so refreshing, and still so strange, to connect with people this way. It happens so rarely now. I could blame the night job, but I have fallen away from most of the world ever since I stopped being required to go to school. I could just about make friends and fall in love like a normal person, because everyone in the area in my age group was lined up in rows around me every day. It’s a damn good thing I met my woman in senior year. I don’t want to know what kind of person I would be if I had been single these last ten years.

It makes me feel good when I have these odd interactions, because so often in the past when I’ve just been myself and tried to be friendly, I’ve put people off or freaked them out, or just been generally disliked. I got fired from a hotel clerk job once because the manager thought I was scary, and the whole time I worked there I was focused on sucking in my gut and trying to work up the courage to tell them I needed a bigger uniform. I was trembling with embarrassment and discomfort every time I worked, and I could not make myself bother them enough to request bigger pants, and then one day the regional manager sat me down in the office and told me I was being let go, because I intimidated and frightened the manager, who was nervous with her husband overseas, and she’d been there longer.

I hate the way I feel like a clumsy, cowardly mess while having to assume people see me as some menacing monster. I hate the way I never feel like I’m supposed to be where I am, trespassing wherever I go, like if the manager of the bakery finds out I’ve got the key he gave me, I’m going to be in big trouble. We don’t have assigned parking but I always feel like I’m taking somebody’s space.

I think I felt comfortable around the bakery lady because she needed to talk about herself as badly as I do, but didn’t need to guard her emotions the way men usually do. And of course it’s other men we have to wall off from, so it’s much easier to talk about personal things with women. Especially older, married, non-sexual-candidate women. It’s not as though I have a shot with any of the young single women I know (spoiler alert, none at all) but there’s something about being completely off-the-table that makes people relaxing to be around.

I think I experience the world in a slightly different way than most people, and that’s not without its own rewards, but once in awhile it’s very good to meet and enjoy a regular old person. Just some lady at the bakery, who was sent to help me get my details right.

At the end of the night, she shrugged and said “Everything you made looks fine to me.”

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