#i can see why people might be dissatisfied with her ending

[mmxxviii]

not gonna put this on the post itself bc that feels rude and i think this is maybe an unpopular opinion but actually i don’t feel like maddie’s ending was bad or wrong in any way! it felt like a happy ending for her, whether or not it was considered a happy ending for the audience.

the thing is, is maddie is the middle ground. she cares about felice and her feelings, and she agrees with some of felice’s criticisms about the school (verbally or through her actions), but she never truly goes all the way. she reassures stella and fredrika that if the school was going to close because of what felice said, it would have already, but she doesn’t reassure felice that she was allowed to say whatever she needed to say. in a lot of the conflicts between felice and stella and fredrika, maddie is a silent bystander or a mediator. she is just as hard for felice to be honest with as stella and fredrika. she doesn’t take a side. stella and fredrika want everything to remain as it was—they want to uphold the status quo and keep their traditions. felice sees the problems with this, and tells the truth, which brings the whole thing down. maddie sees the problems, but doesn’t actually seem to care about changing them in a significant way. and that’s why she doesn’t get to get her “happy ending” at the end of the season (although again i do think she was happy with her ending! this was happy for her!).

i love maddie! a lot! i think she’s certainly more likeable than stella and fredrika and much less classist. i would have liked to see her get more screen time, and if she had, that might have changed my position on her ending, but as it is, i think it feels like the right choice for her and her character. with the open-endedness, i think she and felice will remain friends in the future, and things might happen that we don’t get to see, but that doesn’t need to be shown on screen.

[cosmowgyral]

"Lover's Contract: A night of immoral deeds"

▪︎ Nica Schwartz

This is a fan translation so please don't expect it to be 100% accurate. Creative liberties have been taken.

Since Nica is not yet out in the EN server, there might be terms that will turn out different than what I have used here when he is finally released. All content belongs to Cybird. Reblogs are appreciated. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1

Nica: Lover’s club has three rules.

Nica: One, never tell each other’s secrets.

Nica: Two, actively consider any proposal for an affair, even if it’s abnormal.

Nica: Three, if either of you gets a new lover, end the relationship.

Nica: What do you think? It sounds fun.

I lowered my eyes and sighed, unlike Nica, who had the corners of his mouth curled in laughter.

(Why did it have to come to this….)

A few hours back-----

As I crouched down in front of the flower bed and looked at the flowers, a shadow obstructed my field of vision.

Nica: What are you doing here?

Kate: Nica?

He was looking down at me, and didn’t somehow seem like his usual carefree self.

(He seems a bit grumpy…..)

He pursed his lips and looked at me with a dissatisfied expression.

Kate: Did something happen?

Nica: Oh yes, listen Robin.

Nica: I had the worst day today; a bird pooped on my clothes and then I stepped on fallen food.

Nica: On top of that, I was accused by a stranger and almost got punched.

Nica, who has been plagued by continuous misfortunes, tried to remove the bird poop from his clothes.

Wait a second, did he just say he was about to be punched by a stranger?

Nica: The misunderstanding was cleared but…..

The man who was about to hit him had mistakenly thought that Nica was his wife’s lover.

Nica had stopped in front of the house where his wife's lover resided.

Nica: So, when he was waiting to ambush the guy, I happened to stop there and he mistook me for him.   

It seems the man’s wife hadn’t been home for almost a week---.

(That’s actually a bit sad…..)

Seeing him with his arms crossed, looking thoroughly displeased made me feel sorry for him.  

Kate: How about doing something fun to relax?

Kate: I can go out with you if you’re okay with it.

Fortunately, he smiled at me.

Nica: Well, there is a place I want to go with you.

Kate: Where is it?

Perhaps he is feeling a little better now because there was a shift in his expression.

Nica’s lips slowly curved into a smile.

Nica: Love. People. Club. Fun.

He uttered some strange words.

The lover’s club is a club where you can spend time with your lover in secret.

It is apparently held only at night in a certain mansion as a place for people to spend an immoral night indulging in pleasure.

The man who attempted to hit Nica is now at his wit's end because it appears that his wife also frequents the club----.

Nica: So I thought I’d step in and lend a hand.

He leaned closer to me, his eyes sparkling.

Nica: Hey Robin, let’s sneak in together and find the man’s wife.

Kate: Umm….

Seeing that I was not showing any enthusiasm, his shoulders visibly slumped.

Nica: You were the one who said you’d join me for a change of pace.

Nica: I was really happy….but it seems like you don’t want to go with me…

(Oh cmon!)

Kate: Okay, but I’ll come back as soon as we’re done finding his wife!

Nica: As expected of the Robin, you get things done quickly.

And then, Nica gave me a broad smile----.

Nica: So from now on, you are my lover.

(back to the present)

(When I asked him to relax a bit, I never imagined that I would become his lover and sneak into a club with him.…)

Nica took out a photo from his pocket.

Nica: This is his wife. Her lover is a young man about the same age as us.

Nica: Apparently they’re known as the Queen and the Prince in the club. How funny.

This woman known as ‘Queen’ possessed an alluring aura, although it was unclear how old she was.

 Nica: Once we get hold of the woman, we hand her over to her husband. That’s our mission.

Kate: Okay, I understand…but why did you decide to cooperate with the man, Nica?

I asked him the question because I couldn't figure out why he would cooperate with a man who had nearly punched him.

Nica: Robin, we forged a bond of friendship between us men.

Nica: We were two unfortunate men, so we decided to help each other out.

He didn’t give me a proper reason.

(Knowing Nica, I doubt he’ll want to help out with only good intentions….)

I look at him suspiciously, unable to believe that a man who loved money so much, would cooperate without a compensation.

Nica: While we’re on the topic, let’s decide on a setting.

Nica: Wouldn’t it be okay if you were the wife of a company’s president and I was an employee working at your husband’s company?

Kate: But you look like the one with more money.

He appears much wealthier than I do because of all those pricey accessories he is wearing.

Suddenly, he sat down next to me, and began running his fingers through my hair.

Nica: I would want you to dress me up as your lover.

The lips that were resting on the ends of my hair make a soft sound.

Nica: Because I want to prove that I belong to you.

My heart started racing as I was stunned by the sudden kiss.

Then, my eyes met Nica’s.

Nica: Don’t be surprised by something like this, we’re lovers.

His captivating smile enthralled me, but then I gasped when the carriage came to a quick stop.

Nica: Looks like we arrived, Robin. Are you ready?

He held out his arm in front of me, and gave me a look that suggested I accept it.

I nodded slightly and wrapped my arm around his as instructed.

Nica: Well then, shall we indulge in a one night’s forbidden affair?

That endearing voice marked the beginning of a nightlong love affair.

[Masterlist] [Chapter2]

[canine-economy]

On Swansea’s (often understated) role in Mouthwashing

I say this as a big swansea fan but I don’t rlly understand why ppl are acting like he’s not also complicit in what happened to Anya? AUs where “Anya tells Swansea” and he jumps to violently defend her don’t make sense to me because canonically she does tell him, as he admits to Jimmy. But swansea represents another way of interacting with the capitalist heteropatriarchy that ALSO harms victims: holistic jadedness and resignation.

Swansea is across the board unkind to the Tulpar crew. We can’t forget that he calls anya a “so-called nurse”

and says this to Jimmy, which (if unintentionally) reiterates Jimmy’s own warped perception of Anya’s usefulness and competence. This allows Jimmy to feel justified in his imagination of the nurse’s inferiority. Swansea’s clear lack of respect for Jimmy does less to hurt Jimmy than his lack of respect for Anya harms Anya, because at the end of the day, Swansea’s attitude is contextualized by the violent culture it exists in and he does nothing to reconcile with that when Jimmy becomes the captain. His resignation can thus be weaponized even by Jimmy, a man who Swansea disrespects but whose power he doesn’t try to meaningfully jeopardize, because his across-the-board disdain punches people already marginalized by the environment twice as hard as it does those with power.

Swansea doesn’t position himself as an ally, he positions himself as willfully uninvolved in everything, an observer to the shitshow ride to hell. Just because he dislikes Jimmy doesn’t mean he aligns with Anya. He makes it clear that he’s not on her side, either. After a life of doing what he felt was expected of him, Swansea on the Tulpar looks out for Swansea and Swansea’s comfort. In trying to situate himself outside of the politics of it all as an older white man, he simply allows them to play out. The toxic culture keeps existing, playing out in the microcosm that is this freighter, and Swansea in all his experience recognizes that shit has hit the fan and elects to coast through it, even explicitly numbing himself to it by breaking his sobriety. It is, of course, hard to force yourself to be sober—to see clearly. But had Swansea forced himself to get involved sooner, he might have set a precedent for Daisuke to recognize Jimmy’s abuse, which could have saved Daisuke’s life as well as created a safe space for Anya. But Swansea’s inaction forces both victims to confront an abuser on their own, unable to reap benefits from his privilege and experience.

Jimmy is clearly intimidated by swansea in a way he is not by Anya, Daisuke, or a post-crash Curly (Swansea, for example, physically manifests as an aggressor in Jimmy’s “responsibility sequences”, and Jimmy ties Swansea up to avoid what he sees as the real possibility of pushback that he doesn’t conceive of Anya being able to do). Swansea has a power he does not act on or with until it is far, far too late. In fact, he acknowledges in his final monologue that he was dissatisfied with the discomfort with opening his eyes and living an exemplary “good man”s life. The best days of his life are ones in which he’s belligerently drunk—days in which he didn’t have to hold himself accountable. He regrets the life he spent performing for higher-ups and we watch him reject it by scorning Captain Jimmy, but he also doesn’t want to be held responsible for helping other people when it’s their turn to endure the expectations and violence from similar (if not the same) higher powers. Tragically, he possesses the hindsight to recognize that how he acted on the Tulpar consequently wasn’t what Daisuke needed out of a role model, leading to Daisuke becoming a victim. His hands-off approach to emotional engagement with his young male intern (another symptom of patriarchal gender norms) may have been to avoid Daisuke turning out miserable and jaded like himself, but it doesn’t actually indicate to an already-confused Daisuke what the dangers of that attitude are. Swansea never admits his own shortcomings in a tangible way which, had they come from a man with experience and prestige like himself, may have shifted that culture that failed Anya. She comes to him with the story not because he has situated himself as any earnest friend, but likely out of desperation on a ship Jimmy now controls.

When we allow “the machine” (Swansea’s own words) to beat us down to the point that we don’t find it productive to challenge unjust power dynamics, we become complicit. I think too many people get hung up on his disdain for Jimmy and Jimmy’s fear of Swansea as a marker of allyship with Anya, but the truth is that Swansea. Is a bad ally. He’s hardly one at all. His long stint in the demanding capitalist environment molded a perfectly complicit result out of him, as it aspires to do, even if Swansea bitterly recognizes that. Jimmy’s overt violence from a position of power is a different and much more brutal approach to abuse enabled by people who have been left too tired and bitter to care that he does it. A man who could’ve intimidated and even threatened Jimmy is too resigned to try until there is literally nobody but himself left to fight for, which is an attitude carefully cultivated among the lower rungs of hierarchies to keep the top safe. Swansea in particular seems very unhappy with the capitalistic, patriarchal expectations laid out for him as a father, husband, and laborer. This becomes particularly resonant when you realize the symbolism of his role as mechanic: a job that can be deeply unpersonal, tasked with keeping the ship (the machine, if you will) itself going while other roles are more focused on managing the humans inside of it (e.g. nurse, captain). His decision to just stop trying and spare himself the grief instead of questioning why those expectations exist and how they would hurt the others onboard only delays him being directly targeted by Jimmy and doesn’t interrupt the latter’s violence.

Not a single man in mouthwashing is innocent in Anya’s victimhood. This is a statement tentatively uninclusive of Daisuke, because I think the game very deliberately positions him outside of manhood through his youth and thus struggling with the concept of “fitting in” to the patriarchy. Curly, Jimmy, and Swansea all represent different failures that ultimately perpetuate Anya’s suffering and force her to defend herself and finally take her life into her own hands. A holistic analysis of rape culture in MW necessarily engages with all three of them. Only not being a friend and ally to rapists and other male abusers isn’t enough, and Swansea proves it.

[virginiathegray]

On Hardened Companions

I've seen some people wishing that Veilguard had more options to harden a character besides just Lucanis or Neve, so some thoughts: Firstly, I had this opinion while I was playing as well, so I absolutely see the appeal and why this belief occurs. However, after thinking about it more, I don't think it would have worked.

When I started thinking about how each companion could end up hardened, I went down the list and tried to figure out what plot-relevant things might achieve this...and I just kept coming up with events that already happen at the end of each companion quest.

Telling Harding to lean into her anger over the loss of the Titans? Making Emmrich a lich? Lucanis choosing to imprison his cousin even if Traviso was saved? Neve becoming Dock Town's Batman even if Minrathous is still standing? You get the idea.

Those seem like the more "hardened" options for those characters, but...are they? The whole point of those choices (to me) is that they are nuanced and don't have one right answer. Including a mechanic to incentivize one choice over another feels like it misses the point of why the choice is there.

I could go on about this forever, but ultimately let's move forward with the assumption that tying a hardened status to the companion quests would be dissatisfying and we're better off without it. If any other characters can be hardened, it has to come from the main story quests (as they did in the Traviso/Minrathous choice)

And I...can't really think of any?

I mean, I can, they just aren't very good. You could let the Dalish be sacrificed during the Venatori rally near the end of Act 2 and harden Bellara. I'm sure we could do something messed up regarding one of the many dragons in the game that pisses Taash off. Rook could tell Davin after Weisshaput that he's right actually, and he really SHOULD have died! Harding's could...involve the ritual site somehow? If we're a jerk about it or tell her to shut up about her powers? I don't know. I can't even begin to think of what main quest story could upset Emmrich to the point of being hardened, though. Peepaw's here for a good time.

Every above option teeters dangerously close to a total character assassination of Rook, in my view. These are not things Rook, in any of their many forms, would do. And truthfully, these things shouldn't make a companion hardened, they should make a companion leave your party. And that's not what this game is about.

Now, if you're one of those folks who wanted to be able to play evil, that's fine! There are games out there that will suit you better than this one. But at that point we get into the larger argument of what a Dragon Age game even is, and how playing an evil asshole was never actually on the table in the first place. If your script doctoring of the game involves a total rewrite that lets you kill Assan or kick Manfred in the shins, we might be at the juncture where we admit that this game isn't for you, and that's ok! Rook is not the protagonist you're looking for. They're a hero. Inexperienced and out of their depth, but a hero all the same. They will never knowingly make the choice to be cruel, which is why the sacrifices they DO make hit harder.

All this to say, the hardened feature works for Neve and Lucanis. It's fun that our choice of which city to save has consequences, and I empathize with the desire to have more of this mechanic in the game. I just...don't actually think the idea holds water once we dive into the narrative implications of implementing the mechanic on a wider scale. Rook DOES make many choices that affect the companions, but their effects aren't so easily spelled out as "softened or hardened" and tbh the game is all the better for it.

[hamliet]

Less of a question but I was never an avid manga reader till 2019 and mha was the first manga I kept track of weekly, and I read Tokyo ghoul after it ended, and seeing everyone be dissatisfied with how Tokyo ghoul ended after keeping up weekly is something I’m reminded of after seeing the latest chapter of mha. So this is what it feels like to witness 6 years of a character you hold in high regard be undermined(to put it lightly). I’m rather sad, but I can’t help but feel fondness for shigaraki even if the way he ended wasn’t satisfying, how do u feel about how mha has gone?

Yeah it does feel very reminiscent of Tokyo Ghoul in that they just went "ah yes, killing the right people is actually how we solve world issues." Which I find morally reprehensible, but also genuinely bad writing because the story as a whole doesn't support this message.

@linkspooky explained in her meta yesterday why Deku has completely failed as a character, and why the manga has failed thematically as a story. I'm just gonna say I completely agree with Link.

To be fair, I'm not sure Shigaraki is dead dead, but either way, it's bad writing and it doesn't conclude his arc with any sort of satisfactory element. Like, why would Shigaraki see Deku as different than anyone else who tried to punch him? That's nonsensical and written from the POV of an audience, not from Shigaraki's POV. It's like in Star Wars when Rey calls herself "Rey Skywalker" when she knew Luke for 3 days and none of the people she was actually close to (Leia, Han, Ben) were Skywalkers. That's writing for the audience, with their perspective, ignoring the logic of your story. It defies believability because the character does not have that perspective. It's "forced" because the audience can see the hand of the author.

If Shigaraki is dead dead... Not gonna Star Wars this one again, but since I also hated the ending of The Rise of Skywalker, I must make a comparison. The idea that Deku may have saved Shigaraki's heart but couldn't save his body (which to be honest, nothing in the actual chapter supports, but if he stays dead might be the argument) is still bad writing. Why? Because to Shigaraki didn't even make the decision himself. He didn't sacrifice anything. How can his heart be saved if he had nothing to do with it? Saving an object is easy as pie. Saving a person is different, and that's what the whole story has been about. Like, in TROS, Kylo Ren gave his life for Rey! Was it stupid? Yes! But at least his "saved heart" did something. Shigaraki's saved heart did what exactly?

So then, is the message that Deku failed? Then why isn't it framed as a failure? Why was BNHA never set up to be a grimdark tragedy? If he failed, then shouldn't he have a miserable ending? Unless it's "heroes always become bad guys and life is unfair," but then shouldn't Deku be framed critically?

Basically, Horikoshi can't come back writing-wise from this in BNHA, and it's sad to see.

Horikoshi's biggest flaw throughout the entire story was that he kept flip-flopping on what he wanted to say, and made the characters more about his trying to please every single fan than about being, well, characters to explore important questions he has that are worthwhile. And you can do this while still having a "cool" factor!

Instead the characters tell us one thing while cocooning Deku in the sweet bliss that no one ever has on this earth--being 100% right all the time. And it's sad, because BNHA had so much potential as a story to challenge its audience and entertain too.

I thought even if it flopped in some aspects it'd at least get this right. It's disappointing.

Anyways every day that goes by I want to send Isayama and his editors flowers for actually writing a thematically coherent ending, even if some aspects were dropped or messy along the way.

[ceofcatgirls]

Marika's and Radagon's soreseals and scarseals, Malenia, and the nature of Marika and Radagon.

This might as well be fully headcanon, but I fully do like it bc I think its very sweet + I think there's legitimate backing to it.

I will briefly speak on how both soreseals are most likely gifts for Malenia given by her parents

I will also briefly speak on the scarseals, but I'll leave that to the end.

Also, be warned, this is quite the post. I doubt most will read through it, so I'll add a TL;DR at the end, and if it makes you curious, you can read from the top ;)

--

One thing that caught me about Messmer is how he utilises a scarseal/soreseal to seal off the Abyssal Serpent. We can infer it was given by Marika, esp since it has her Rune and looks very similar to her scarseal.

This says many things about what the scarseals and soreseals were used for. They had the utility to, albeit not fully erase, keep outer forces from meddling with its wearer.

The scarseal given to Messmer by Marika was largely successful. It didn't completely kill the Abyssal Serpent, but it kept it from affecting Messmer to a great extent. I'm sure a lot of Messmer's physical attributes are still due to the influence of the Abyssal Serpent, namely his posture and body proportions, but at least he can carry out a relatively normal life without the Abyssal Serpent interferring much.

We don't know if the Abyssal Serpent is an outer god. However, snakes in ER are shown at all times to be shunned and seperated from the Golden Order. So we can assume the Abyssal Serpent is the same; it's an outside force marking its presence in Messmer.

Malenia is much the same. With the exception that Rot is outright an outer god, not just a mere influence. As such we can infer that it's relatively stronger than the serpents, and thus can have a stronger grip on Malenia. This difference is crucial to understanding what sets Messmer and Malenia apart, which I will mention more about this late.

Because the Rot is a stronger influence, no doubt due to its significantly more lovecraftian powers, one scarseal would not be enough to help Malenia-- and I will go even further to say, two scarseals is not enough. And from that, Marika and Radagon created soreseals out of their own eyes as a stronger measure against the outer god of Rot.

As we see with Messmer, him ripping out his scarseal and breaking it was what lead to his ability to utilise the Abyssal Serpent once more. I believe something similar happened with Malenia-- emphasis on the similar, since there are very glaring differences.

And this is where I acknowledge that not even two soreseals were enough. The only thing that actually stopped the Rot from consuming Malenia's body further was Miquella's Unalloyed Gold Needle. I will be returning to this.

The location of Radagon's soreseal is in Fort Faroth, Caelid. Near both the swamp of Aeonia and where Radahn can be found. Marika's soreseal on the other hand, is found in Elphael, in the Haligtree.

These locations, in my opinion, do reveal a lot. I've seen people complain Marika's soreseal should not have been in the Haligtree, because by the time the player finds it, such items become not needed since it's so late in the game. But I think both locations are strategically chosen for a reason. There is a reason why they're both found in the two areas where Malenia is most associated with.

But again, only Miquella's needle actually helped Malenia. We can then infer that the soreseals, too, were failed projects just as the Law of Regression failed to cure Malenia's rot. The game oturight says Miquella was dissatisfied with the Golden Order's inability to help Malenia, which is why he started doing his own thing;

(Source: Radagon's Rings of Light)

With that being said, Radagon's soreseal raises Vigor, Endurance, Strength, and Dexterity, whilst Marika's raises Mind, Intelligence, Faith and Arcane. So in a way, they helped Malenia stay strong a bit, even if it didn't fully cure her.

(note that both soreseals mention a curse that can't be cured, but the scarseals do NOT. In this theory they could be referring to Malenia's Rot. The scarseals not mentioning a curse will be brought up later, and is quite important.)

Malenia has weakened body due to the Rot; no wonder, considering what it does to her. Hell, maybe these soreseals even weakened her too, since they are said to have the player take more damage. No matter if that's the case; I think either way, it's possible that these soreseals are failed experiments to cure Malenia's Rot and seal the outer god away.

It would be a tale for sure. A single scarseal working on Messmer, but two soreseals failing Malenia-- perhaps even hurting her-- would demonstrate how the Golden Order started faulting throughout the years, either due to becoming outdated, or just being unable to keep up with the ever changing world as outer forces become more prevalent.

Now this heavy headcanon territory, but here is what I think happened; Malenia first lost Radagon's soreseal either before, or prior to, the Battle of Aeonia. That is why we find it in Caelid.

After she broke Miquella's needle, the Rot once again gained its influence over her. Even worse now that she bloomed after the battle with Radahn; the first of the three needed before her ascension. Hence why she eventually, too, loses Marika's soreseal, despire being able to hold on to it until reaching Ephael.

Maybe Finlay was the one to secure it's safety in Ephael? Hence why it's found sealed behind imp statues. Meanwhile Radagon's was perhaps found by Radahn's soldiers, hence why it's in Fort Faroth. Radahn idolised Radagon (see; Redmane Knight's Helm), so perhaps his soldiers carried those feelings as well.

But all this is speculation. Nonetheless, I think there's strong indication that Marika and Radagon tried to replicate what was done with Messmer, but failed because Messmer's Abyssal Serpant is not equal to that of the Rot, and because the Golden Order simply cannot handle tougher forces (the Liurnian Wars being another example of this, but the twins' curses are also evidence of an overall pattern of the GO being unable to adapt).

Now for the scarseals. This is section will later be entering heavy headcanon territory, so I don't blame you if I lose you here (if I somehow hadn't lost you before kkkkkkk) but first, I will establish some things that are canon.

Let us establish the first thing: Radagon, throughout his life, has wanted to become "complete". Below I will show the item descriptions for Radagon's Icon talisman and the Law of Regression incantation;

Radagon's desire to "converge" and "be complete" are strong enough that the game says he yearned for it. It's strong wording for a reason; because it gets the point across that what Radagon was feeling was indeed very strong.

But on the surface these two descriptions seem unrelated. What does aspiring to be "complete" and yearning to "converge" have to do with each other?

As mentioned previously, Radagon and Marika have different attributes associated with each other. Both Radagon's scar and soreseals raise Vigor, Endurance, Strength and Dexterity. Meanwhile both Marika's scar and soreseals raise Mind, Intelligence, Faith and Arcane. Thus together, they raise all attributes, and seperated, the attributes are perfectly halved, just like how Radagon and Marika can be seen as two halves of a whole (see; Miquella having the same attribute of having another self, just as Marika does. Thiollier calls St Trina the "discarded half". Leda agrees with this assessment as well;)

We never see the game outright say Radagon is Marika's "half", only that he's Marika or a self of Marika. Marika herself calls him "mine other self" in Melina's hidden dialogue. This could imply Radagon's connection with Marika is deeper than St Trina's to Miquella. But I simply disagree with that conclusion. St Trina is also called the "other self" just like Radagon. And I do believe her connection with Miquella is quite deep, though I won't go into that since would send us off track. Moreover, the scarseals and soreseals imply Radagon and Marika are two halves, since they halve the attributes, without sharing any overlap with the other.

Although it may seem the game uses "other half" and "other self" interchangeably, I think this isn't the case. "Other half" implies a whole has been broken in two. "Other self" implies a unified connection. Thus, we can infer "other half" is used for when the self is seperated, and "other self" for when the self is united.

Marika's dialogue supports this. She calls Radagon her "other self" right where she re-unites with him (not a coicidence-- the choice of wording is very important). St Trina is mostly often called the "other half" more than the "other self" because her seperation from Miquella is this huge, important occurance, and they speak about her in the present, where she is discarded.

The only exception to this rule is the spirit NPC in the Fissure. But he could also be talking about Miquella and St Trina in a context where they are both still united, i.e. the past. Whatever the case may be, the other dialogues support this theory, and as we are about to see, so do the scarseals (and soreseals as well).

This was important to establish, since this distinction highlights how a self being halved makes them incomplete; from Radagon's yearning, to his aspiration, to the attributes, and to the game using "other half" and "other self" in different contexts.

Returning back to Marika and Radagon, and the question if there is a connection between completeness and converging. The answer is yes. Converging is the act needed to achieve completeness. By the attributes, Radagon is incomplete without Marika, and Marika is incomplete without Radagon. Converging would fix this, since they would merge, just as using both Marika's and Radagon's scar/soreseals increases all attributes.

So how does this relate back to the scarseals?

In the quickest way possible, I think the scarseals were attempts by Marika and Radagon to achieve "completeness" without converging.

In this case, Radagon would wear Marika's scarseal; so that attributes he lacks can be compensated for. And likewise Marika would wear Radagon's, so that attributes she lacks can also be conpensated for too.

Both in the soreseal and scarseal item descriptions, duty is mentioned. And I think this also connects back to completeness and converging. I've seen many theorise that this hints at Marika's and Radagon's marriage was born out of duty... I simply outright disagree. I think the "duty" the scarseal speaks of is instead the duty that is keeping them seperated, or halved. It specifically mentions this duty is for "those chosen by the gods", which Marika was since she used to be an Empyrean. This duty keeps them seperated, because time and time again it was prioritised over their completeness.

First in the Liurnian War, where I believe this seperation happened, as it was the first proper recordings of Radagon. There was a duty of Marika having to uphold her Age of the Erdtree, so Marika used her (physically) stronger self to ensure this. Then Radagon having the duty of securing a political marriage to once again ensure the Age of the Erdtree goes unchallenged, this was what actually kept Marika and Radagon seperated; he was unable to return to converge (hence why he tried to compensate through the study of sorcery-- which is often associated with the INT attribute, which Marika's scarseal and soreseal raise, thus being one of her attributes). Then there was the duty of a god needing a consort, meaning that Radagon still could not satisfy his yearning for converging-- as one can imagine, the logistics of having to physically be both Elden Lord and god at the same time is quite difficult. Hell, I have seen old discussions in the community about this prior to the DLC confirming the selves can sepeate (i.e; Miquella and St Trina). Because how could Marika fulfil both roles simultaneously? This problem is solved by Marika literally breaking her self in half. One to be god, one to be Elden Lord. And thus, they could not converge.

This is supported by how Marika only converges with Radagon before sealing herself and shattering the Elden Ring; thus creating a political crisis. This is an attempt to free herself from duty. She no longer wants to be god and Elden Lord. So she uses the Guidance of Grace to guide the Tarnished to Ranni, and has Melina burn the Erdtree; the symbol and epitome of her age.

And even if the Tarnished still wishes to marry her, the option to become Elden Lord is only vacant because Radagon has converged with his divine self, proving Marika could not physically be both Elden Lord and god whilst complete.

Duty, therefore, keeps Marika and Radagon apart, no matter how much they yearn to reunite. And the scarseals represent this duty, because if they were one, they would not need them.

It should also be noted that the scarseals lack the mention of a curse, unlike the soreseals. This is explained by their use not being for sealing curses. Through the Giant's Red Braid, it's hinted that Radagon's red hair was a curse of the fell god and the fire giants. So Radagon is also cursed, even if just incredibly minimally, but the scarseals do not mention it because they were not made with the purpose of freeing Radagon from this curse (unlike the soreseals); they were made to compensate for Marika's and Radagon's inability to converge due to duty, so that they could achieve some level of completeness without converging.

And it is why the soreseals, although made for Malenia, also speak about duty. Because if Marika had set duty aside, she would have converged and become complete, thus not having Malenia. In a way, Malenia's curse is a byproduct of Marika's duty. (tho, I will say, a lot speculate that the twins are cursed due to selfcest instead. I don't think this is the case. The Omen twins are also cursed, and they are not a product of selfcest. Malenia's curse is Marika's sins catching up to her; if she had not had Messmer burn what is now the Church of the Bud, Romina would not have been able to find the Rot and allow it to enter the physical world (see; Romina's Rememberance). This is part of a long line of events happening as consequences for Marika's actions. It's the same with the Omen twins and the hornsent + crucible).

The thing that makes this headcanon territory to me is due to it needing constant connections to other parts of the game; as in to say, it's not outright confirmed. Not to mention, location was important when discussing the soreseals, yet the location of the scarseals are less connected to where Marika and Radagon might've lost them. Marika's scarseal is found in the Siofra River, whilst Radagon's is found in the Weeping Evergoal. It seems kind of random if they were made with that specific use in mind... we know Marika has some connection to the Nox (too long to explain, but basically both Numen and Nox are connected to Eternal Cities (ref: Rogier dialogue for Night of the Black Knives) and the Black Knives, who served Marika, were Numen (ref: Black Knife Armour)), and her scarseal is protected by a Dragonkin Soldier, who were made in an Eternal City (see; Frozen Lightning Spear), which was habited by the Nox (see; Nox items and mobs being found in Eternal City). Not to mention, these Dragonkin Soldiers are failed experiments of immortality (which Marika has a LOT of connection to) (see; Dragonscale Blade and Dragon Halberd).

Meanwhile Radagon's is being protected by a Zamor Hero, who have been "mortal enemies of the Fire Giants since time immemorial" to the point that they were heroes during the War against the Giants (see; Zamor Armour set). There is a connection there to Radagon, since he was cursed by the Fire Giants (which, imo, was due to him being the one to kill the fell god-- the One Eyed Shield confirms Marika slayed the fell god-- yet Radagon is the one that is cursed; this would be explained with Radagon, who IS Marika, being the one to slay the god).

But again, how did those two scarseals get to these places, if they were made by Marika and Radagon for each other? This is why I think this is heavy headcanon territory. But personally I think the best explanation is that,,, well, Elden Ring is a game. And ultimately, playability must be the forefront. These items were made for early players (recall how I previously mentioned that Marika's soreseal being found in the Haligtree is not useful for players, but can be explained for lore reasons), and thus are found in early game. FromSoftware compensated by making them be guarded by enemies who have lore connection to the two who the scarseals belonged to. I mean-- why would a Zamor Hero even be in the Weeping Penninsula? They are usually found in the Mountaintops of the Giants.

Also, I wanted to mention this at some point.... but didn't know how. I think Marika being associated with INT/FAI/ARC/MND and Radagon with STR/DEX/VIG/END further proves that they are associated with alchemy. As if you needed more evidence kkkkkk. But basically, in alchemy, the body and soul can be seen as interconnected. The body is physical, and the soul spiritual. In this case, Marika is the White Queen and the spiritual (which also fits the theory that Marika and the Shaman are spirit tuners), and Radagon is the Red King and the physical. The Red King and White queen are often depicted with an alchemical marriage, hence why Marika's and Radagon's marriage is treated as very important by the game... but then, if together through convergion, they become the Rebis, the magnum opus, the union of opposites, and reconnect the physical and spiritual. The scarseals would be miniature imitations of this. Veryyy neat!! Love these details!

Anyways. Overall, I don't think any point made is far-fetched. Hope I made sense!

If you made it this far, pat yourself on the back! This is quite the long post.

TL;DR: The soreseals were made to help seal away the Rot that plagues Malenia, and to help her regain her strength. This was a failure. On the other hand, the scarseals were made by Marika and Radagon to achieve completeness without converging. This, too, was unsuccessful.

[torio12539]

Tears in my eyes, flowers in my lungs - chapter 3

Series summary: as a princess you've always accompanied your parents to their diplomatic trips, most of them were to their closest allies, queen Sorsha and her family, trying to get you acquainted with their children so that when you grow up the bonds will stay strong. It all crashes down on you when you catch a rare disease caused by one sided love.

A/n: the main trope this fic will follow is known as 'hanahaki disease' although I'm sure a lot of people in the fanfiction community have at least heard of this trope it is more common in anime communities so I'll still explain it for those who don't. Hanahaki disease is a fictional disease caused by one sided love, it's main symptom is coughing out flowers, the only way for the disease to cure is if the other person returns the love to the person afflicted with the disease, get it? got it? good.

Warnings: coughing, illness, bodily fluids (blood, saliva, and mucus), reader coughs flowers, these are in no particular order and some warnings might be added as the series progresses.

Chapter summary: unfortunately you cannot keep your condition a secret anymore, for once in your life you're not expected to keep up with all the princess duties and etiquette, shame it's come at the price of your own condition.

[part 1] [part 2]

Expelling the petals from your lungs has somewhat relieved the itchy painful feeling in your throat, however it still lingered. You go back to the large dining hall and get back to your sit, thankfully you managed to keep the new ecosystem that started growing in your lungs down only clearing your throat quietly for the rest of the feast however your end was nearing as such behaviour during a formal dinner like this will be sure to get your mom angry or at the very least dissatisfied enough to scold you, and scold you she did.

Right after it ended your mom pulled you aside "Care to tell me what was that all about!?" "What do you mean mother?" you tried to play it forgetful, hoping it will get her off your back "getting up suddenly and excusing yourself without so much as specifying where you're going, I thought I taught you better than this!" "I'm sorry it was very urgent, I was feeling really badly I just had to go to the bathro-" before you could finish the sentence you felt the cough you've been suppressing making it's way out and with it a red rose making it's way out too, though now you couldn't hide it in time "I- wha- is that why you had to go to the bathroom?" your mum uttered in complete shock, it's clear she's never seen something like this before, worried she reached her hand to touch your forehead "god, you're burning!" "I know, I've been feeling quite under the weather since we got here, I don't know why" your mom let out a sigh and said "go to your chambers, I'll try to get a doctor as soon as possible, until then I guess it's best you stay there to reserve your energy"

The next day instead of going to the dining hall for breakfast the maids brought you breakfast to your room, Kit not seeing you there was worried for your condition and came to visit you.

You hear knocks on your door and try your best to ask with a sore throat and scratchy voice "Who is it?" from the other side of the door you manage to hear a muffled "It's Kit, I came to visit you, your mom said you're feeling under the weather!" at one hand you were glad she came to visit, but on the other it was apparent that you looked far from your best, in fact it'd be easy to say you looked like crap, your face was red from the fever and dark circles could be seen under your eyes as the coughing would wake you up every couple of hours so you couldn't get any actual sleep, and your lips were dry and chapped. You contemplated if it's worth it letting her see you in that condition, but soon enough you heard "So can I come in!?" and decided you still wanted to see her, so you yell a scratchy "Yes!" and she opens the door "Oh, she wasn't exaggerating, what's going on?" she asked "I don't know I started having a sore throat and then-" a coughing fit interrupts you, and more rose petals and two roses come up "-I'm coughing flowers all over the place" you start crying "Look, I know this is tough, just hope you know that I care about you okay?" "I know, I know, I just didn't wanna make a big deal" and for a moment the pain in your throat was getting a bit better "you're not making it a big deal, you're my friend of course I care" and then you feel it return, maybe a bit more painful this time. "I know"

A/n: to everyone keeping up with this series I'm sorry for the long wait, I know I said late March and it's already May, I was really busy and I thought I'd have time and energy to get to it, but I had a shit ton of exams I forgot about instead, I think I had like 5 different exams in April, so I was very preoccupied with that, which is why I've also been generally posting less, and also most of my posts being reblogs. Anyways, I don't think I'll get back to regularly posting chapters until July as I'm gonna have a lot of important exams in the next 2 months, hope you understand.

Final's month or my final month? Stay tuned!

Taglist: @sevslover

[pavel-chekov-appreciator]

I want better for Sybok.

I want a world where he got a fighting chance to do anything but become a cult leader. I’ve seen aus where he becomes a counselor and I can’t stop thinking about it.

No gods, no Sha-Ka-Ree, no cult. Just a kid who knows his history. Who researches Surak, and the world before him, and finds himself dissatisfied with present day Vulcan’s interpretations of his teachings. Unable to see the logic in following one ancient man’s words with no additional input or thought. Is this truly the best way for them to live? His mother didn't think so. He doesn't think so either.

He’s young, and he has big ideas and a lot of charisma, and a lot of inner pain from losing his mother and being suddenly told the way she was raising him was wrong. He quickly earns a reputation as a troublemaker. Indulging in blatant displays of emotionalism, just to prove his point, that he smiled and nothing bad happened, he cried and he felt better after.

He’s dissatisfied and ostracized and convinced there’s a better way to be living.

He fucks off at 18-not quite banished, but so strongly encouraged to leave that he might as well have been-and goes to a college on Earth, because the federation is a post-scarcity society so he has his basic needs met and he just wants to figure himself out, and where better to do that than a college campus, as far away from Vulcan society as possible. On his step-mother's home planet, where he knows at least a little of the culture, the language, what to expect.

He sees the school counselor a lot, and gets a lot out of their sessions. Takes some psychology courses and ends up getting really passionate about it.

Teaches himself to embrace his emotions while acknowledging that it’s very easy to be ruled by them. Utilizes aspects of traditional Vulcan control combined with the human practice of mindfulness to understand his emotions and control his strong impulse to act on them, without completely rejecting them. Knows he is choosing not to control his emotions, but he can and should control the actions he takes in response to them to avoid hurting himself or others. Knows that understanding why he feels a certain way can help him understand himself better.

Lives his best life and studies psychology to help other people find the same joy and peace he has, in whatever form that takes for them.

Then he finds out his baby bro basically told the VSA to fuck off and that dad more or less disowned him for joining Starfleet. Feels so damn proud of him for standing up the their parents like that.

Reunites with his brother after years of separation.

It’s rocky at first, but after both being disowned they’re all the family the other has left now, and they both do really care about each other.

Spock doesn’t understand Sybok’s choices, but he doesn’t need to understand them to respect them; Sybok is clearly still exercising some degree of control over himself, he even still meditates, he’s just controlling himself less, and differently, and his mind is more at peace than it’s ever been before. Sybok doesn’t really understand Spock’s continued dedication to logic either, but he respects it too, because clearly it still means something to Spock in a big way.

They make peace with each other, and their differences, and with the fact that their parents and society have rejected them. That Sybok did everything “wrong” and Spock did everything “right” and yet they both ended up in the same place; on Earth, with mom ignoring their calls, because she loved them both but she loves her husband more.

And ultimately he enrolls in Starfleet medical to become a ships counselor, because he still takes great joy in doing things he knows dad would hate, and because he wants to specialize in trauma and grief counseling and Starships need a lot of that, and because getting a new perspective on life from being around humans helped him a lot and he’s rejected a lot of philosophy that he found unhelpful but IDIC is something he still believes in; he wants to be around as many different ideas and perspectives as he can to improve himself and his practice, and Starfleet is a great way to do that.

Getting to follow his only remaining family into space is just a bonus.

[i-love-invincible]

Let's Talk About Atom Eve

Invincible Spoilers and Gore CW Abound! Please watch this incredible series... So who is ATOM EVE?

I would love to talk about this, but first we have to talk about character design in Invincible. The costumes, personalities, and heroes of Invincible are all self-referential. Take the Guardians of the Globe for instance, the first heroes we see on-screen.

We see these people, and IMMEDIATELY we get what they're about... even if these characters are new to us, we KNOW who they are. Flash, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, Batman, Green Lantern, all obvious parodies and fun little characters.

I'm sure your eyes will start glazing over once I go "blah blah subverting tropes blah blah absolute genius." but one thing that Invincible does very well is destroying the audience's connections with established superhero tropes (See the one million white boy video essayists talking about why Evil Superman is awesome.) The reason why the slaughter of the Guardians of the Globe in that fucking THREE MINUTE LONG SCENE is so surprising is because THEY ARE THE FUCKING JUSTICE LEAGUE (while the fight scene also conveniently tosses some casual shade to DC Comics.) Not only is it stunning since we have some frame of reference for how powerful they are, but also stunning because we have ALREADY become attached to these characters.

What follows are a couple real quotes from people I've shown the first episode to: "Oh Batman + Silver Surfer that's awesome!" "OH DUDE! FISH AQUAMAN" "Wonder Woman but she's a lesbian.. as she should be..." .. and all these people, the ones with the most superhero experience, were the ones all most taken aback by the ending.

So let's look at Eve.

At first glance, we get the same impression as a lot of the heroes we meet in Invincible: knockoff. In the same way Omniman and the entirety of the Guardians of the Globe are made to resemble the Superman and the Justice League so to does Atom Eve's costume and powers SCREAM token. She is the first female hero we meet that is Mark's age and perhaps more importantly (and more evident to a first-time viewer) she has some very clear themes of femininity. Such as her costume, which Doc Seismic callously points out in Episode 3 (neglecting the fact she designed her own costume)...

... as well as her name. "Atom Eve" is a combination of her ability to influence atoms and her middle name, but it is also a reference to Adam and Eve (see the bible.) She even has a female symbol with two revolving electrons around it emblazoned right on her damn shirt. So just like the Guardians of the Globe, her design is meant to carry a lot of weight and immediacy to the viewer, you see them and you understand who they are and what they stand for (or at least you think you do.)

So we've seen the way that the Guardians subvert our expectations so how does Eve diverge from the audience's first-impressions? Well for the first couple episodes she doesn't. You might even suspect her of being some one-dimensional, neglected and under-characterized female character (and to be honest if you were reading the comics you wouldn't be too far off...) until you start to see her dissatisfied with being a superhero. Her boyfriend cheats on her, the Teen Team breaks up, her parents consistently disrespect and talk down to her, she's misunderstood by the naive and silly Mark Grayson, and she struggles to find connection with anyone outside of when she's "beating up bad guys." She even goes as far as to reject a position in the Guardians of the Globe just to avoid her ex-boyfriend, despite her killer tryout.

She's frustrated by the frame that's been left for her, and realizes her powers enable her to do much more than beat up random villains. Her powers BY THE WAY, which up until now anyone could have mistaken for "shooting pink stuff," is actually atomic manipulation. She can just fucking rearrange matter to make anything she wants. So instead of being a superhero she fucks off to do things that ACTUALLY help people. Like idk she could be irrigating rivers and feeding the starving or like manufacturing free medicine or something. Atom Eve is a hero who is chronically misunderstood by literally everyone around her, even in the final episode Mark is under the impression Eve just stopped being a superhero to get away from her ex, parents, and school. However with the earth-shattering familial trauma that Mark goes through in the Season 1 finale, maybe they will have more in-common than either of them think.

and NOW there's a surprise ATOM EVE SPECIAL EPISODE! it shows off her origin story which goes even more in-depth into her trauma, and her loss of the only people who even WOULD be capable of understanding her. It also has my FAVORITE FIGHT SCENE OF ALL TIME!!! It was absolutely incredible

ps: omg why tf did they make her far-shot model have an x over the female symbol instead of the detailed electrons (crying emoji) cool i didnt proofread this okay i might do more of these okay bye, i love this show okay

[snowfieldstories]

Ten Minutes (If I Were Only Her)

Kim Dokja x Yoo Joonghyuk; Kim Dokja x Punisher!Yoo Joonghyuk

Summary:

Yoo Joonghyuk arrives in the 73rd Demon Realm chasing his own name in order to find another: Kim Dokja. And he finds him—cut off from everyone and lonely. Joonghyuk doesn't want him to feel alone anymore. But sometimes it is another's loneliness that consumes us.

This is straight angst. No happy ending. The idea came to me and I could nawt get it out of my head because I looove writing heart-wrenching love. Frankly, I don't ship them (that's cool if you do, though!) but this situation was too perfect not to indulge

Warnings: sexual content (18+), slight canon divergence. Hopeless angst. Wee bit of fluff

Spoilers up to the 73rd Demon Realm arc

"Huh, Fake Revolutionary, your boyfriend is here!"

Joonghyuk waited patiently at the table as Jang Hayoung called out. Footsteps sounded and a white coat appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

Kim Dokja looked stunned to see Joonghyuk. Jang Hayoung was pleased and prattled on about romance at the industrial complex and reuniting lovers.

"Stop," said Dokja. "We are not lovers. Joonghyuk, what on earth did you say?"

Hayoung jumped up. "He stormed in and went, 'Bring me Kim Dokja,' and started telling me about your beautiful skin and sparkling eyes and how he missed you and couldn't bear to part any longer—"

Joonghyuk blinked. "I said nothing of the sort."

"We are not lovers," repeated Dokja.

"Well, you could be—"

"And you could be an adult with your adult brain, instead of the bratty child you resemble," Dokja said and smirked. "Besides, I like women."

Joonghyuk's expression flattened into something neutral. He didn't like the way Jang Hayoung turned and studied him.

"Alright," said Hayoung.

A few others filtered in and out of the room while they all sat in silence: Aileen, at one point, though she disappeared after rearranging the chairs and Mark, who shuffled right back out upon entering. Jang Hayoung grew bored and left. It was only them.

Dokja spoke first. "I thought you died."

"I didn't."

"I can see that," said Dokja, bemused. "How?"

Joonghyuk hesitated. "A constellation helped me. You don't need to know the details."

"None of them would help for nothing. What did you give?"

"Nothing. I just received a slight penalty." Dokja was clearly dissatisfied so Joonghyuk ground out, "Until the scenario is over, I will disappear for ten minutes a day."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that. In any case, the issue has been resolved so there's no need to worry."

It took a moment, but Dokja finally relaxed with a rueful smile. "It seems I wasn't needed. I'm glad to see you well. Ah, the others…"

Joonghyuk sensed dejection from Dokja, a dejection that which only a man separated from his colleagues through a powerless situation might feel. Joonghyuk felt compelled to ease his mind. He started talking before he could process the feeling.

"Lee Hyunsung is in the army. Jung Heewon and Lee Jihye are training new incarnations..."

On and on he went, sharing the stories of their lives and taking his time with some, while breezing past others. Dokja was listening intently. These were people Dokja knew, in a place where he didn't exist, and so Joonghyuk would fill his absent heart with these stories.

At last, he finished. He was surprised to have spoken for so long.

Dokja looked down at his clasped hands. "Everybody is busy living."

He held a loneliness still, one that Joonghyuk couldn't erase. Except—"In addition, everyone is telling your story." He almost smiled at Dokja's astonishment. "They tell it a lot. Your story."

A warmth gripped him as Dokja buried his face in his hands with a wet smile. Joonghyuk wanted to hold those hands and share his warmth.

Instead, he said, "Let's go back to Earth, Kim Dokja."

Few people were out in the streets that evening, and perhaps that’s why the greedy decided to take advantage.

A group of men cornered a young man into an alley. "Give us the story fragment," said the one with gnarled, yellow teeth.

The young man was pale, but still shook his head in defiance. Yellow-Teeth shouted and reared back in a punch.

“Stop.”

Joonghyuk dropped on his head and sunk his sword into the man's back. His associate lunged forwards. "Wh—!" The sword sliced the words from his throat. Three more strikes and the group laid in a bloody mass at his feet. The young man trembled.

"Thank you, miss," he said in a small voice. "Um, could I have your name?"

Joonghyuk sighed. It had only been two minutes, and he was already weary of being a woman. The young man was straightening his clothes and smoothing down his hair. His eyes leered. Disgusting.

"Go away," he said coldly. It sounded less intimidating with the high, feminine lilt.

"Aw, come on, don't be like that—" Joonghyuk aimed the sword at the guy’s throat, and the little rat squeaked and sprinted off. He looked down at his filthy sword and wiped it with his cape.

"Beautiful and capable."

Joonghyuk went rigid. He forced his fingers to keep cleaning the blood from his sword so he wouldn't look at the man behind him. This wasn't meant to happen.

"You're the Punisher?" asked Dokja. Joonghyuk glared at the ground, aware of what Dokja wanted and acutely aware that he was seeing the body of a woman. Joonghyuk’s body.

"I’ve never heard of you before,” Dokja continued like Joonghyuk had responded.

“I suppose you know everyone?”

Dokja took his words as an invitation to step closer. “I’d like to.”

A sensation in Joonghyuk's stomach twisted pleasantly at Dokja's tone. He looked, and immediately wished he hadn't. Dokja was haloed by the Demon Realm's setting sun. It gave him an ethereal glow.

“I want to be colleagues.”

Joonghyuk almost turned away when he caught the disheartened slant to Dokja's mouth.

"Perhaps we'll meet again," said Joonghyuk. He had worked hard to replace that loneliness earlier and he would be damned if he became the cause of it anytime soon.

He caught Dokja reading something in the air, probably constellation messages, and he disappeared by the time the other man looked back up. Joonghyuk clasped a hand to his chest.

There was an odd pulsing in his heart.

Joonghyuk lazily sipped on his herbal tea as he listened to Dokja telling Jang Hayoung about his experience with the Punisher.

"Yes, it was hard to find her. Isn't she beautiful?" said Hayoung. Dokja hummed.

"Were you fascinated by her?" Joonghyuk had not meant to speak. The question had escaped him before he could reel it in.

Dokja cocked his head to the side, looking at him curiously. Joonghyuk found it difficult to breathe. Finally, Dokja smiled, and said, "Her beauty can surely rival yours, Joonghyuk."

Joonghyuk's body went hot and cold all at once. Did he know? Dokja still had that funny smile on his face.

"But I think she hates me." Dokja laughed as if the idea were pleasant. "Maybe I'll have better luck next time."

Dokja turned away and Joonghyuk felt the ability to move return to his limbs. He, too, was now looking forward to the next time. Only as a mere curiosity, of course.

"I was wondering."

Joonghyuk unstuck his sword from the body below him, frowning when blood sprayed out of the wound.

"How did you get such an ability?" Dokja said while leaning against the wall. "It's rather unusual."

Joonghyuk didn't reply but looked at the other man with narrowed eyes.

"In fact, you must be a transcendent."

The surprise that blanketed Joonghyuk's expression must have been obvious, because Dokja laughed. "How do you know of such things?" demanded Joonghyuk.

"Well, I only know one transcendent," said Dokja with a fixed grin.

Oh, he knew. He certainly knew.

Joonghyuk was at a loss for words. Perhaps he should apologize. For deceiving Dokja, for keeping him in the dark, for looking so—no, why should he? This pesky transformation was his business. His conflicted thoughts fell away as Dokja suddenly appeared over him.

"It must be a requirement for all transcendents to be beautiful."

Joonghyuk was stupefied. Dokja was close, nearly close enough to touch. Joonghyuk didn't realize just how much taller Dokja was than him in this female body.

He tilted forwards slightly, and a heady scent of electricity and Dokja filled his senses. His mind scrambled.

Was...was Kim Dokja coming on to him? The shock rooted Joonghyuk in place so much so that he failed to notice Dokja had vanished. The want that coiled in his stomach remained long after.

It was sundown again and Joonghyuk had hardly transformed when Kim Dokja found him. Joonghyuk hadn't seen him since yesterday's meeting, too anxious to visit the revolutionary headquarters.

Instead of speaking first, Dokja's eyes widened at the sight of Joonghyuk and he turned his head quickly. Joonghyuk looked down at himself. His cape lay on the ground, exposing his usual outfit and now-female body, but did it really matter since Dokja knew who he was anyway?

"Ah, you haven't found any bad guys yet?" said Dokja, slowly looking back at Joonghyuk with a light blush.

"The streets are quiet today."

Dokja smiled. "Your incredible ability is well-known."

They fell into silence. Joonghyuk didn't remember when they'd moved so close to one another.

A hand reached out and stroked a lock of Joonghyuk's black hair. He felt skin brush against his cheek. Joonghyuk was frozen, transfixed by the man before him.

Dokja exhaled, and the warm scent restarted his brain. A new energy tightened the air.

Joonghyuk pushed him deeper into the alley. Dokja stared at him, silent but waiting. "Are you just going to stand there?"

He wasn't actually sure who moved first.

Heat. A delicious, wet heat. All he could feel were Dokja's lips as they slid against his own, messy and eager. Joonghyuk tugged him closer by the belt and, when Dokja opened his mouth in surprise, he slipped his tongue inside.

Joonghyuk pushed Dokja into the side of the building and pulled away at the top few buttons so he could run his hands along his bare chest. His nails scraped a sensitive area, and Dokja dug his fingers into Joonghyuk's waist and groaned. It was an intoxicating sound.

"I see," mumbled Dokja, and broke away from kissing long enough to pry open Joonghyuk's shirt until the night air nipped at his chest. Then he was flipped over, back to the wall.

Dokja's hands were hot on his skin, but he was touching in places that didn't truly feel like anything, and there was a nagging thought in the back of Joonghyuk’s mind that something was not quite right.

"You are breathtaking," said Dokja between heated breaths. "You're strong. Powerful. And just." Joonghyuk was still too drunk on the taste of his lips for the words to register. “It’s like you’re a myth.”

Dokja pressed sloppy kisses down his neck, teeth grazing his collarbone. Joonghyuk gripped his hair as he moved lower. A sharp tug brought out a moan from Dokja that Joonghyuk felt everywhere, so he slid his fingers further along his scalp and tugged again. In return, Dokja bit the skin of his breast and sucked.

It was this act that cleared Joonghyuk's mind.

Because Dokja was kneading, pressing and twisting, and doing all the right things there and Joonghyuk felt nothing. It did nothing for him. But Dokja was affected, as evidenced by the flush that spread down his chest, the way he pressed his body closer. Dokja...had no idea that he was this woman.

Any resistance that was crumbling now solidified as Joonghyuk was fully brought back to reality.

It was a fact that Kim Dokja didn't like men. A hard truth, one that was impossible to ignore, which dictated the rules of what Joonghyuk could have, and what would forever remain out of reach.

Joonghyuk wrenched away from Dokja. There was a sick feeling in his throat as he realized what they'd done.

Dokja looked at him with a dazed expression: his hair was mussed in an alluring, roguish sort of way, his shirt, half-unbuttoned, and his panting lips were swollen and glistening. It was wicked, how inviting he looked. It was torturous to see this and know with conviction that it would never happen again. Joonghyuk had never dared to imagine such a scene, and now the image of Dokja, wanton and needy from his touch, would haunt his every waking thought and seize his dreams until the day his death was permanent.

"I’m sorry," said Dokja. He looked so unsure of himself that Joonghyuk felt something inside him tremble, and he made to turn away. Dokja grabbed his arm. "Wait, please."

Joonghyuk twisted himself out of reach and began walking fast. "I must go."

Dokja tripped over a cobblestone as he clumsily buttoned up his shirt. "Wait! I wanted to ask if you'd—Can I see you again?"

"No." Joonghyuk's voice, though still feminine, sounded strangled even to his own ears. "Never again."

His limbs were tingling, and he felt parts of him deflating and becoming firmer and stretched. The ten minutes were over. He had to go before he was exposed in more ways than one.

Dokja shouted something after him as he bolted.

Joonghyuk managed to gain enough speed that, when he was sure there was plenty of distance between them, he could crumple in the darkened corner of an alleyway. His eyes and muscles burned, and there was a wretched pain in his heart. His hands tangled in his now-short hair as he curled in on himself.

And Joonghyuk wept.

Later he met with the revolutionary group as planned, Jang Hayoung and Aileen and the others. He couldn't look Kim Dokja in the eye. This only provoked the man into spewing barbs and friendly jabs, trying to get a reaction out of a numb Joonghyuk.

Once, Dokja's hand pressed into his shoulder and Joonghyuk hissed. Dokja kept his distance after that.

The group settled on a decision and Joonghyuk was the first to leave, suffocated in that room. But even in the open air he was choking on his own ruin. He was ruined.

Despite Joonghyuk's behavior, Dokja had smiled sincerely at him as he left. He should be grateful—they had a companionship. But it would never be in the way that he desired.

He looked down at his blunt, calloused hands, remembering their slender length just hours before. If he were only her, would he be wanted at last?

Joonghyuk sat on the rooftop, watching the twinkling, urban expanse of an alien planet. He had never felt more alone.

.

..

…

[The constellation who likes to change genders looks at 'Yoo Joonghyuk' in sorrow.]

A/N: This makes me inexplicably sad. Unrequited love, man. It hurts. It hurts so bad

I tried to keep it somewhat close to the original scenes, but from the POV of a painfully in love Joonghyuk. Maybe a bit OOC for them both

[aoki553]

'bpd makoto teruhashi??'- a character analysis/yapping session because no one understands the siblings like i do

Time to turn the capslock on for this one! The writing might be incoherent, but I want to focus on getting my thoughts out with this one, so be aware. Let me start this post by clarifying - I am not a psychologist. This is for fun, done used resources I've found online. This is about an anime character, not about a real person's struggles.

Trigger warning for obvious sibling marriage romanticization mention sighhh like we aren't talking about it constantly when it comes to him apparently.

We all know the way Makoto has been protrayed in the series - a comically overexaggerated siscon. His portrayal makes many people uncomfortable due to his perverted obsessive behavior.

Except, I'm going to throw it all out the window cuz in this post I meant to take a look at his behavior from a fan's perspective without any biases like 'eww yucky siscon make me uncomfy'. NONE of that here.

I'll start by addressing the elephant in the room and the main reason i'm making this post: Makoto's obsession. Both of the Teruhashi siblings have obvious superiority complexes, however, Makoto is overshadowed by his little sister's charm, whom he idealizes and has an unhealthy attachment to. He's aware of his own charm and beauty, but only takes it to account to point out how he's the only one worthy of Kokomi's love and attention.

Kokomi has clearly been his whole world ever since she was born. A life-long fascination and attachment that went unnoticed. His perfect little sister is able to change his mood drastically whenever she's getting attention from anyone other than him or is even slightly dissatisfied with him.

He lacks a sense of self - only Kokomi matters for him. He's able to ditch his responsibilities in an instant, only to be with her. He's depicted as a cherub to Kokomi's goddess appearance in the mobile game and as a chauffeur in the Duet Shite KudaPsi anime end credits. Always below her, as her servant.

He becomes severely distressed and panics over even something so simple as a her getting a cold. (Just like everyone else at her school, but he's there for her.)

At all times he needs to make sure she isn't surrounded by men that are 'unworthy' of her, even to the point of stalking her to get some piece of mind. He craves her approval and cares for her like no one else in the entirety of the manga. (Example: Taking her to movie theatres and watch every movie he has ever starred in to show her.) These are signs of Kokomi being Makoto's 'favorite person'.

Awesome, but does it explain Makoto seeing her not as his sister, but as a future wife? Is it just him making things way creepier in his mind than they need? Yes, actually.

Makoto's overprotective and obsessive behavior is comically exaggerated, duh, but if we think about it for a second... Kokomi is a person he's been there for her whole life, he provides and protects her from unwanted attention. He dedicated his whole life to her and knowing there is an unavoidable future of his whole world collapsing because someone will take his place. Not as a siblings, but as a lover - something more important than family. How can he avoid this? By being the one to marry her, of course. No one but him is worthy of her anyway, right? Why should she need anyone else? No matter how messed up that sounds, it's his way of thinking.

Now let's go over some of the diagnostic criteria for BPD. I'll be using this site and infographic as my resource, just to give a few simple (but appropiate in my opinion) examples.

Fear of abandonment, rejection - while it's not explicitly stated, I believe his 'marriage' thing is just that. Not wanting to be abandonned and forgotten by the only person he loves and cares about. I don't believe he has any perverted motive behind it. Just fear and wanting her only for himself.

Idealization and devaluation - both extremes show up in his behavior. Most notably towards Kokomi or Kusuo. He's hostile and outright rude to Kusuo, but the moment Kokomi shows up he becomes all sunshine and rainbows. Another example of it is his indifference towards Kokomi's friends, compared to the excessive attention he gives to his sister. My theory is that Makoto doesn't have relationships due to a predisposition to making his relations with other people unstable, or never even bothering to try in the first place. (Like he is towards Ruchi, for example.)

Impulsivity and inappropiate anger - he rushes to anger the moment his love is threatened. A simple thought of Kokomi getting romantic advances enrages him. Even if it could cost him his career or his public image - something Kokomi cares about the most for herself, the opposite to her brother.

Emotional instability - we've only been shown his mood swings like the one below. If we got to see more of his personal life, this one would be much clearer, but it's something a siscon pun character doesn't get to have in a comedy manga, so I'll leave it at that.

Paranoia - Let the image below speak for itself... His delusions can be interpreted as a symptom on its own, too.

But what could've caused this? Since we never see what the Teruhashi siblings' parents are like, it's easy to assume Makoto has a role of her caretaker or a provider, due to only these two being ever shown living in the wealthy Teruhashi residency. The only time we ever see their parents being acknowledged is when Saiko spread a fake rumor of Mugami Tooru having an affair. Note: We never actually see them, we don't know if they're even there.

My personal theory is simple - Kokomi's charm and absent parental figures must've affected Makoto's development and made him emotionally dependent solely on Kokomi's well being. I'm taking his idol career into an account as well, since he must've been scouted into show business in his teens, or earlier. (He was already famous by 17.)

Conclusion: I think Makoto is an interesting example of a person with BPD in media, but I'm often disappointed how little we talk about it. Or maybe I'm just too obsessed with him to see him only as what he is on the surface. :3

PHEW. So after like 4 hours of trying to put my words into one big post I think that's all I had to say for now about this topic~! I have a lot of love for this boy and I really needed to get my thoughts out about this theory of mine. Sorry for unnecessary rambling and incoherence at times. Thanks for reading!

[katyspersonal]

I am kinda interested, what is Sulyvahn exactly? Is he supposed to be a tree? I checked out the design of many bosses and it does seem that having tree elements in his design isn't unique as there many characters who have these elements as well (demons,humans,giants etc..) , also his wings look very similar to the wings of the "angels" we see in lothric.

I am pretty sure that with whatever turmoil the developers faced upon creating this character and deciding what he'd be, in the end they've settled for him being either a half-tree or a quarter-tree! Also look at these images:

( x ) Ok sorry if I had to see it then so did you fdhjfhdssfd

Okay the thing about him, he was born in the Painted World, which would make him either a Tree Person or a Crow Person! He doesn't show any corvid features, and as for the wings, Tree People do have them anyways:

His mother likely was Tree Person!

( x ) The dialogue directly referencing this is a cut content, of course, but it is one of those moments where Fromsoft cuts something without actually cutting it!

There is this particular Tree Woman who guards one of his youth spells, who is also heard crying before you approach her! As for why I'd mention he could be '25% tree' and not just a Tree Person, I will just quote what @val-of-the-north already said on the potential of Gilligan being his father:

As for Gilligan, it's probably to mention it as a jokey what-if lmao. People aren't ready for the truth. The gist of it though, is that in the area with that angry tree woman, there's a hidden, comically long wooden ladder that only appears when you defeat all the tree women in the area. Stupidly long ladders are the dude's staple, so the theory goes that it was Gilligan's way to come down, meet his family, and leave. Suly's mother would then hide the ladder so no one could use it. Of course, her son would one day discover the illusion and leave, dissatisfied with the Painted World, and her mother never saw him again

It's also worth pointing out that you can find Gilligan in the game itself, though he isn't exactly in a living state. He is found in the Profaned Capital surrounded by his wooden ladders. Suly has also been there as part of his rise to power so there's a second connection lol. Interestingly enough, his spell descriptions mention he "had not yet experienced loss", which might imply he did experience it in the future. It could have been losing his dad

So yeah, it might sound like a shitpost but like.. Where is the evidence against this idea? fdsjfjhds So if he had a Tree Person mother (who is 50% tree) and a human father, that'd make him 25% tree. AND it works with how as you can see from his model, he IS notably more humanoid than an average Tree Person! Nonetheless, still absurdly tall hahah

Personally, I think he doesn't have a face, either 🤔 It looks like it's not a mask, but his head and "face" is JUST like this, featureless. We were not supposed to see him 'naked' by normal means in the game, of course, but Fromsoft is notorious for putting too much effort into something only like, 3 dataminers on Earth will appreciate xd They bothered to model him this way under his clothes, so I just take it as legit! Nor I think that he somehow 'lost' his normal face later on.. though this IS a good question as to why his wings are considerably bigger than average Tree Person's ones, so I'll think about it later,

[hollownest-whore]

Can we have more info on God's War? :)

I'm curious on how the other Gods/Higher Beings feel about Radiance's new promotion

Gods Waaaaar! Teeheehee! Higher Beings hmmm

God I wrote a lot, short answer: Unn is relieved, Grimm and White Lady are vexed, and Shadelord is really annoyed and about to bite smn

Unn: Was surprisingly welcomed to the return of the Radiance, they originally co-existed in their separate domain with I'd assume mutual respect. I think it was honestly a relief, because it meant WL had less influence among the other Gods and Unn could reclaim her garden and her mosskin aswell depending on how readily she accepted her old ally.

Shadelord (not to be confused with ascended Ghost): "I'm back in the fucking building!!!!!" Genuinely is tired of the trivial back and fourth it is made to witness, the lord was once great and all consuming before light gods imposed themselves, and now they squander and squabble over hallownest. Nobody even knows the void was once a god except PK(hes doubtful) and Radiance(dormant when her people arrived) I think. Now that Wyrm is out of the way and hallownest is broken up it is the BEST time to put an end to this ridiculous nonsense.

WL: She is upseeeet! She is effectively been put on blast for being another one of the foreign gods to arrive to hallownest, I think it's a fun idea to imply that Wyrm's tunnels is what carried/lead WL to Hallownest. Her direct alliance and bias to PK means that her opinion is disregarded and most of her acquisitions were returned to their original owners. Isma, Dryya and Ogrim stay with her in her corner of the Garden called the Pale Thrush where a lot of palace artifacts were also rehomed ooooo something something I'll explore that later!

Grimm: "why do you keep fucking things up for me" easiest thing ever, easy as HELL let the Wyrm make his spawn, do the ritual. No more spawn, no eternal Hallownest, a ton of basic ass bugs now like chat I think we are fucked. The heart is mostly focused on ensuring the current Grimm vessel (I think they are young at this point..well young figuratively there is an ancient god in his soul) gets to any of PK's kin or maybe even try a shot w WL but that's a hard task

More Dreamer Stuff:

Lurien and Hegemol both are PK's left and right hand, of mind and of might. They have helped their king settle out in the wastes despite the hostile environment. Wyrm's light is probably the only thing keeping his (relatively) small group of worshippers alive.

Deepnest being closed off means they can continue preserving their way of life, Herrah is still expecting Hornet's arrival too because the negotiations got up to where the dreamers NEARLY went to rest. pretty much a good outlook for them..until the void 💀

Monomon is doing alright, she feels a bit dissatisfied with herself for changing her alignment despite being urged too by her fellow dreamers. Quirrel makes it easier, but Hallownest doesn't last eternal and soon he may leave her with age. The promise of eternity is one she misses.

Vessel Stuff:

The only living vessels are Hollow Ghost and Broken(not broken?) The infection is gone however so it's a mystery as to where or what their fate was. Originally they were all killed by the Radiance (later to be revived) but it might be something like she locks them away or they are with Wyrm (god wouldn't that be awful lol) I'm not entirely sure on the implications of having void beings will do for the narrative so let's see if that changes later!!!!

[justlookfrightened]

Invisibility

A teeny Zimbits ficlet

“Hmm. Jack, if you could have a superpower, what would it be?”

Bitty looked up from his phone to ask the question of Jack, who was making an omelet for breakfast. It was one of Jack’s favorite things, to cook for Bitty, especially when there was a morning when they could both sleep (or not-sleep) in, and then cook and sit and eat and drink coffee and clean up together before even considering starting their day.

“I don’t know,” Jack said. “Mind reading, maybe? So people wouldn’t be so confusing all the time.”

Bitty considered the mess of motivations that had made him do anything from adding ginger to a peach pie to kissing Jack on the ice after he won the Stanley Cup.

“I’m not sure knowing what people are thinking would make things less confusing, sweet pea,” Bitty said. 

“What about you?” Jack asked. “What superpower would you have?”

“Invisibility,” Bitty replied immediately.

“You didn’t even think about that,” Jack said. “Anyway, why would you want to be invisible?”

“Why not?” Bitty said. “If you’re invisible, no one can hurt you.”

“Huh.” Jack gave a dissatisfied sort of grunt, and turned back to the eggs.

Bitty didn’t know why Jack was bothered. He’d always thought invisibility would be the best superpower for him, ever since he first considered the question.

He’d been in high school, clinging to the end of the bench at the lunch table where all the misfits sat. Well, the misfits-but-not-outcasts. It had a couple of band geeks, the one cheerleader who never sat with the rest, the kid who was always the stage manager and never on stage for the drama productions. The only student in Bitty’s class who played on the rec league hockey team had invited Bitty to join them, and Bitty was doing his best to not be relegated (again) to outcast status.

One of the girls — Bitty thought it was the cheerleader, but his memory might be faulty — had read the question out of a quiz in a magazine, and most people had answered things like flying or having super strength or x-ray vision. 

Then someone said they’d like to be invisible, in order to do whatever they wanted and never get caught, and Bitty had thought the idea of not being seen sounded like a kind of heaven. Not  that he wanted to avoid the blame for any misdeeds; he just didn’t want to be seen. If the football players couldn’t see him, they couldn’t push him into lockers or trip him near the top of the stairs. His Algebra II teacher couldn’t call him to the front of the room to solve impossible problems. If Coach couldn’t see him, he couldn’t “playfully” cuff him on the back of the head and ask when he’d find a girlfriend.

He’d miss his mama’s hugs, he thought. But maybe the power would allow him to be visible when he wanted to be, or maybe mama would just understand, and hug him when he told her he was there.

Ever since then, “invisibility” had been his stock answer to the superpower question. Even though there were no longer any football players dogging his steps, the idea of going through life unobserved, and thus uncriticized, had a more than passing appeal.

Apparently, his answer sparked more than passing thoughts in Jack, who brought it up as soon as breakfast was ready.

“I’d really miss being able to see you, bud,” Jack said.

“Yeah?” Bitty asked, purposely looking up at Jack through his eyelashes. “See something you like?”

“Always,” Jack said, “But I didn’t mean like that. I meant, I don’t like the idea of a world where you just disappeared. And I don’t understand how you can say you would want that, either. You’re always out there, whether it’s online or on the ice. You figure skated. You did a sport where, literally, everyone was looking at you because you were the only one to look at.”

“And I stopped doing that sport, because when people noticed, they decided I’d make a good tackling dummy,” Bitty said. “Figure skating was different. When I was on the ice, I was alone, and no one could get to me. No one could touch me. And when I make videos online, it’s kind of the same. No one can hurt me. Even if someone is rude in the comments, I can block them and move on. Aren’t there times you would have liked to be invisible, with the way people have invaded your privacy?”

“Sure, sometimes,” Jack answered. “But not for long. And I remember that the problem is their behavior, not my existence.”

“I never said I didn’t want to exist,” Bitty said. “I just want people to leave me alone.”

“Even me?” Jack’s voice was small. 

“Never you,” Bitty said. “Well … there were some times my freshman year. But not now. I want people to live my life and keep their nastiness to themselves. And my life includes you.”

“That’s good,” Jack said. “And for the record, I think it’s good that people can see you. I think they need to see you, because you are strong and determined and good. Sorry if that sounds corny. I don’t mean it to be. I really believe that you are good, and people need to see that.”

Bitty was nearly tearing up.

“Oh, come on,” Bitty said. “Don’t be so nice to me! You’re gonna make me cry. I do appreciate that’s how you feel. And maybe … maybe it is different now. Now that we’re together, and I don’t feel alone.”

“So, if not invisibility, then what?”

“Have you ever thought about what it would feel like to fly?” 

[sevensoulmates]

I really appreciate you making the buddie meta post for 7x4, taking that many hours of your time just to write it and sharing it with us. I'm really grateful, I was literally giggling and kicking my feet while reading your post 💕

What a wonderful episode, it still feels like an out of body experience and I'm so happy Buck is finally free (I'm still in disbelief they gave us bi Buck in such a beautiful way).

I really wonder how they will give us the Eddie coming out arc. ¿Do you have any theories at the moment? Also why does it feels like Marisol will be kicking rocks sooner than expected? 👀

Thank you again ❤️

Thank you so much!! I mean I always have so many thoughts going round and round in my head about this show at all times so at least this gives me a place to put em.

I was beyond happy with everything we got in this episode. 10/10 no notes. I'm getting the feeling next episode is gonna be similar but is also gonna have some plot twists as well. The possibility of a double date has me V~I~B~R~A~T~I~N~G especially if Eddie doesn't realize the entire time that BuckTommy are on a date. Eddie and his queer blinders runs so deep and I want to see the way his face changes when he realizes.

I loved how they handled Buck having this discovery and I'm beyond happy they're not going the "gay for you" route with Buck (and I hope not with Eddie either). I'm glad Buck can exist in the world as a bisexual man outside of his relationships, but also in conjunction with them. They're all a part of him and he deserves to finally be settled in that aspect of who he is.

I do get the feeling that Buck's gonna be so swept up in the euphoria of figuring out his sexuality that he's likely going to be attributing a lot of those feelings to Tommy where he actually isn't wholly the cause. Don't get me wrong, I do think Buck is genuinely interested and attracted to Tommy, and I'm excited to see where that goes, but we're already getting some hints about potential issues with their relationship and I'm very intrigued about where that will go.

My prediction for Buck is that he's going to dive headfirst into whatever he has with Tommy and start seeking out the feelings/connection he has with Eddie, but in Tommy. I think the date will have some hints at Buck and Tommy trying to connect in certain ways and Buck in the back of his head finding *something* missing.

As for Eddie....HOO boy. I think that he's gonna be in for an interesting time. There's a chance he might break up with Marisol in 7x05, or I was also seeing spec about breaking up in 7x07, etc. IDK ANYMORE!! As much as I PERSONALLY would like to see them break up next episode, I think it would also be interesting to extend that relationship out a bit more just to show Eddie's sexual struggles and have her as a foil.

I'll give you what I would LIKE to see instead of what I speculate might happen because at this point the information we do know is confusing.

I would like to see Eddie feeling visibly weird about Buck dating Tommy. The reasons for him feeling that way can be nebulous at the start. I want this to cause some issues with Marisol, but I want his primary issues with Marisol explored separately from BuckTommy as well.

I would love to see more of his incompatibility with Marisol explored, whether that's in terms of how they act on a date, how they talk to each other, maybe even sexually (?). I want Eddie to genuinely start questioning why once again he's not feeling anything in a relationship with a woman. Like Ana could've been a fluke, but now Marisol too? I want him to think about why he just forces these relationships into something full-blown when most people would be able to recognize they're not attracted/into someone after the first few dates and end it.

I would love to see him possibly being dissatisfied with sex (if they go the demi route) and being really confused about if it's the sex itself, or the woman he's having sex with. I want some definitive building blocks for Eddie being like "I don't understand why I don't feel attraction to her" leading to an eventual "I don't feel attraction to women" realization. I think that Eddie's queer realization arc deserves more nuance and time put into it and a slow unveiling. I think it can still overlap with BuckTommy, with his feelings regarding them confusing him even more.

Buck getting kissed once by a man, understanding and accepting his sexuality right away, and being excited about it makes sense for his character. Eddie on the other hand I think is gonna struggle with it a lot more. I would like to see those struggles highlighted. Bring in more of his family (parents, sisters, etc) and show him struggling with heteronormativity around them. Show Eddie struggling to act "normal" in his interaction with BuckTommy when they're around him as a pair.

I would love it if a surprise kiss in the heat of the moment came in somewhere. Whether Buck is/isn't with Tommy and Eddie is/isn't with Marisol, would provide different ramifications. But I don't want the kiss to immediately lead to them getting together. I want them to have to sit with it, and maybe Eddie can then deconstruct his feelings about men, his sexuality, and his feelings for Buck at the same time. I wouldn't mind this struggle continuing over the hiatus and into the season 8 opener, or having this be a season 8 storyline altogether.

Either way, I do firmly believe Eddie's queer arc is coming down the line, and what we're seeing now is going to be the foundation for him to work up to it. As we know, Eddie doesn't really have sudden realizations. He kind of lets things build and build until it explodes and he is forced to sit down and think about it.

Also I don't believe Tim Minear about his "spur of the moment idea to have them kiss". What a liar. They were filming the scene with Buck, Tommy, and Eddie at the helicopter hangar back in January. That was a whole 3 months ago. Oliver literally said it was his first day back on set. You can't tell me you filmed that without knowing how the episode was gonna end, Tim. What a lying liar who lies. I do believe him that bringing Tommy in to replace Lucy probably meant they could streamline the queer Buck storyline faster in the season, but I firmly believe he knew they were planning to get to it at some point. There's no way Tim could've gotten the green light for it from ABC that fast without major lengthy discussions, both with TPTB and the writer's room. People take a long fucking time to respond to emails, Tim. Get better at lying.

[tadpolesonalgae]

Is there any other small/significant storyline that you changed from the original plan you had for cbmthy? Only if you want to share of course! I'm so in love with the fic I think about it constantly, can't get enough of it!!

Also, would you be willing to write drabbles once the fic is done? Like an Az pov, or an alt version of the events?

I hope this doesn't come off as me being dissatisfied, I'm just curious! In the end, it's your story and you know what's best!

(((I absolutely love what you've done with it)))

You're so sweet for asking this anon <3, thank you :')

(be warned I ramble quite a lot below)

the major pathway:

So I might repeat some I've already said, because I can't remember too well which once I've spoken about before, and most of the time I forget there was ever an alternative pathway until someone says something that reminds me of it! That being said, possibly one of the more extreme alternate pathways I briefly (not entirely seriously) considered taking the story along was that when Azriel takes the arrow and reader panics, thinking she's killed him, that instead of her sole intention being 'call for help' when her magic detonates, instead her intention is still to kill herself so she doesn't have to live with the guilt of murdering Azriel and that turns her magic malicious enough to result in Azriel's actual death! And almost reader's, too. I think I actually still have a draft tucked away somewhere for that potential ending, with reader living on in between worlds, thinking only Nesta can see her but pretends she can't (Nesta thinking she was seeing ghosts and becoming ill again, and trying to work through it), remaining trapped in the room where she killed Azriel, until Rhysand, filled with grief and misdirected hatred, turns her to mist for taking his brother :) Obviously, having it typed out, you can see why that didn't happen :)

The CBMTHY au, Slaughterhouse:

There was also a kind of au I was considering while thinking about reader possibly becoming a negative presence? I was thinking about writing something called Slaughterhouse, set a century or so after cbmthy! The rough outline was reader was deemed dangerous enough to be locked up in the prison after her initial outburst that tears through the magic of Prythian and sent the island into nuclear winter (thank you, Frozen), and then, all these decades later her cell is finally unlocked and the story follows as her and Azriel try to find the rest of the IC after the Prison fractured and Prythian was overtaken by the immortals once again! I still might write that one day as an au because while I despise horror and angst, I love me a good post-apocalyptic setting (thank you, tlou part 2)

Drabbles/aus

I think your idea sounds nice! With potentially writing short things once the story is completed? I have a few ideas that I just don't think would fit into the actual story so it would be nice to still get a chance to write them down afterwards if people enjoyed cbmthy's actual ending enough and found it satisfying enough to remain interested in it? I also think it would be a lot of fun to potentially write some of the cbmthy from Azriel's perspective once it's done, like what he thinks of Bas, how he felt when she ran away to autumn, what was going through his head when she kind of confessed to him in chapter 1 in the library? Those would definitely be drabbles I'd have to think long and hard about though, in order to get things right

And thank you for asking!!! It makes me so happy whenever anyone seems like they want to know more about cbmthy since it takes up such a large part of my mind now :')

Thank you for being interested in it <3