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mnictasbcl · 4 years ago

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October 11th

For #dbhcolorsofdeviancy, prompt:

June 2nd: Sober android- drunk human. @connor-sent-by-cyberlife

Rating: Teen

Characters: Connor, Hank Anderson

Relationships: Connor & Hank Anderson

Additional Tags: Angst, Death, (mention of), Swearing, Grief/Mourning, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, Crying

Summary: It’s the anniversary of Cole’s death. Hank slips back into old habits, but Connor won’t let him suffer alone.

TW: Alcoholism

Story below! Or, read it on AO3

OCT 11TH, 2038

TIME PM 20:32:07

It had been a long day, Connor noted, as they arrived back home from the DPD. A hard day of working, dragged on by a late case they couldn’t delay investigating. A strange day, as well. The android had noted a change in Hank, and somehow, something within him corelated it to that specific day. He’d thought over it in the morning, trying to figure out why he’d left a reminder on this date in his internal calendar, but what with being late to work, he hadn’t had a chance to deduce a conclusion.

Hopefully, he’d be able to chat to the man once they got inside, after he’d made a warm meal and put on some mindless TV. But first, he had to take a shower. It wasn’t that androids required them as regularly as humans, but since he’d examined a crime scene that had been rather messy, and had also still had the suspect there, who’d fought with him, smearing thirium over his front during the confrontation, he needed one.

Still, he felt like he should talk with the Lieutenant before he showered, his concerns only reaching higher levels as Hank remained silent on their trip from the car to the house. He simply gave Sumo a light pat before heading into the kitchen, pulling back a wooden chair and sitting down.

“Is…” Connor paused at the threshold to the room, thumbs twiddling, “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

The man glanced him over. “Get that blood off of you.” He jerked a thumb in the direction of the bathroom.

Connor nodded, noting that Hank may have usually made a joke about this. Perhaps it had just been a long day. “I will get to that presently. But—”

“Go on, Connor.” Hank interrupted, casting his gaze back onto the kitchen table.

The android pursed his lips, hovering awkwardly for a few more moments before deciding it would be safe to go and do the task at hand, briskly. It was likely distressing to see the blue blood coating the front of his clothes also, he thought, even if it wasn’t his own.

He made quick work of undressing and getting into the shower, turning on the water and letting it run over his body. His clothes would probably need to be taken to a cleaner’s, as thirium was regrettably a hard stain to scrub out, Connor mused, as he reached for the shampoo.

But that wouldn’t need to be an issue he brought up tonight. Hank definitely seemed to have a lot on his mind. It was then that Connor realised he had a moment to think back to his neglected task of researching the date. October the eleventh. It wasn’t a significant date from the last few years past, he noted. There was nothing monumental worldwide that had happened to affect life so drastically in the 2030’s. Maybe he needed to look closer.

LED whirring yellow, Connor put his inner detective skills to work. His shower was now fully forgotten, and the shampoo he’d lathered up in his hair was starting to drip down his forehead. He didn’t notice.

October. October 11th. It had to be something to do with Hank. Nothing last year, although he managed to find that the man had missed a day of work then also. Nothing in 2037 either. Or 2036. In 2035—

His LED flashing a bright, warning red, and his eyes flew open. He groaned, shampoo burning in his eyes, and he quickly rinsed water over his face.

After this was done, however, Connor switched off the shower and made quick work of getting dried off and into some clean clothes. Shit, how hadn’t he realised? Made a clearer note of this?

October 11th, 2035, was the day Cole had died.

And today marked the third anniversary of his death. No wonder Hank had been so different today, he was grieving. And Connor hadn’t even known.

But there was no time to dwell on what he could have done. What was important was what he would do now. Research over grief briefly gave him tips that he shouldn’t be too pushy, too close, but he should provide comfort, and support, and—

He blinked away the tabs opened in his mind. That wasn’t the way to go about things. Not like he would have done as a machine, looking up step-by-step guides on how to respond to grief in a human.

Pushing open the bathroom door, he took a few breaths, forcing his LED to cycle back to blue.

“Hank?” He called, glancing around him as he made his way down the hallway. “Are you—”

He frowned when the chair Hank had been sitting at was empty. Instead, the table now had an empty bottle of whiskey laying on its side, no contents left to spill out. He looked frantically about, before meeting eyes with Sumo, and then with the Lieutenant, who was laying sprawled out on the floor.

It was almost exactly like how he’d found Hank on the evening of November the 6th. That was only a month ago but yet it felt like years had passed between now and that moment. He’d been a machine, back then, focused only on accomplishing his mission. In that moment, his mission had been to locate Lieutenant Anderson and get him ready to investigate the scene at the Eden Club. He’d simply roused the man sharply from the ethylic coma he’d fallen into. He’d only cared about getting him ready for the mission.

Connor blinked. Right. Back to the matter at hand. He wasn’t that machine anymore. This was Hank. His best friend, his… He cared. A quick scan of his vitals told him that Hank wasn’t in dangerous levels of intoxication, simply numbing ones.

But he couldn’t leave the man lying on the floor. Instead of sharply slapping him back to consciousness, he brought his arms around him to carefully lift him from the floor, making sure to support his head. The couch was the closest place to bring him, but come the morning, the light coming from the front door and the windows would be bright and painful for his hangover. Therefore, Connor decided it was best to bring him into his bedroom.

Hank mumbled incoherently as he walked, words slurring, eyes half open at times. The android simply smiled at him; in case he was awake in any way. The journey wasn’t too long, and soon he was able to lay the man onto the bed. Connor made quick work of pulling the covers over him.

What next, he pondered, this time allowing himself to do some research. He pulled the curtains shut, fetched an empty bin with a liner in it and placed it beside the bed. After placing a glass of water beside the bed, Connor saw that he had everything ready for when Hank would wake up.

He doubted the man would be up until the morning, however, as the evening drew on, he seemed to be semi-conscious. At first, it was simply more incoherent mutterings. But when he placed his hand over Hank’s, in an attempt to calm him, he began to speak more coherently.

“Cole…” Hank’s eyes met his. “I’m so sorry.”

Connor froze. LED swirling, mind racing. Was Hank mistaking him in his state of impaired lucidity? Or was it something else? Was he recalling the event, was—

Calm down, Connor, he told himself firmly, there was an important situation he needed to be present for.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Hank. It wasn’t your fault.”

Hank blinked, eyes seeming to come a little more into focus. “I just… it was… you should have lived.”

He noticed the tears starting to slip from the lieutenant’s eyes, and so he took a tissue from the bedside table, dabbing it gently under his eyes. There was little he could say to contend against what he was saying, so Connor instead patted his hand lightly, making what he hoped were soothing noises.

The minutes ticked by, and, as he began to calm a little, Hank seemed to recognise him. “I’m not going to lose you too, Connor.”

His heart (or thirium pump- technicalities didn’t matter) jumped into his throat. Of course, with the fight today with the suspect at the crime scene, must have been stressful, and particularly upsetting for Hank on a day like today. What with seeing the thirium staining his shirt. It’d freaked him out too when he’d looked in the bathroom mirror at his reflection.

“You won’t, Hank.” He answered, tone a little wavering but confident. That fight today might have been close, but he was nothing if not good at his job. And with his deviancy, this newfound sense of being alive… with having someone to be alive for, as well as himself, he would never put himself in unnecessary risk.

Hank reached out with his other hand, shaking a little, grasping the collar of Connor’s shirt. “I can’t—I can’t lose another son.”

He wasn’t supplied immediately with a confident answer, this time. Connor’s LED cut to yellow as he processed this information. Another son—son. Hank thought of him as a son. That—why did it both break and mend his heart at the same time?

Connor dipped his head briefly, blinking away the tears that were pooling in his eyes. It hurt because it was true. In the short time he’d known Hank, in the time he’d been alive and truly known him, their relationship… it had been warm. It had been fond, filled with bad jokes and nights spent on the couch together watching crummy movies, working as partners at the DPD—behind me, Connor, as they came into every new crime scene with its unknown and looming threats… It had been finding himself, finding themselves in each other, finding family.

“You won’t.” He repeated, tone softer this time, eyes darting back up to meet Hank’s.

The man nodded. Once, twice, hand falling down from where it had been clutching his shirt and onto the bed covers.

“You better not.” Hank replied, and at that, Connor chuckled. He noticed then that Hank’s eyes were beginning to slip back shut again, and he smiled, reaching across to readjust the covers with his free hand, the other never letting go of Hank’s.

It hadn’t been perfect. He knew he could have done better, could have started with making a clear note of the day—but that was life, he was beginning to notice. Nothing was perfect. There would be grief and mourning, joy and sorrow, days where he wouldn’t be able to predict the demons lurking in Hank’s mind, where he would find the man passed out, drunk on the floor. But he would show him he’d never lose another son. He’d always be there to scoop him back off the floor, and tuck him into bed with comfort, like he knew the man would do for him. It was messy, but it was real.

“I promise, dad. I promise.”

#dbhcolorsofdeviancy #dbh #detroit become human #dbh fanfic #fanfic #dbh connor #dbh hank #dbh connor and hank #tw alcoholosim #tw alcohol

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edelweiss123 · 5 years ago

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It still baffles me...

...that the writers of a kid's show who were willing to blatantly address various heavy topics on-screen such as revenge, war, torture, racism, famine, sexism, ableism, child abuse, abandonment, and fucking GENOCIDE, with gravity and aplomb...

...still somehow thought that "literal 12-year-old doesn't end up with his first crush" would be a deal-breaker. Like...?

Okay. First, a disclaimer. I am a die-hard Zutara shipper. I'm also really fond of MaiLee and Taang, independent of that, and really don't care for Maiko, but that's topic for a different post. None of the points I’m going to go over have anything to do with those pairings.

But EVEN IF I didn't feel that there were far better canon characters for Katara and Aang to end up with respectively...

Kataang, as it is written in canon, is sad and weird and uncomfortable to me, and here's why:

The Dynamic

Maybe if the characters had been, say, 16 and 18 when they first met, this wouldn't be a problem. But Aang is 12 and Katara's 14. And their maturity gap is far larger than a mere two years.

Aang, despite being well traveled and the burden of Avatarhood on his shoulders, is also a very *young* 12. Remember, up until the iceberg, he's lived a pretty idyllic, mostly responsibilty free life. He's only known he was the Avatar for like, a month, tops, before that. Sure, the other monk children don't play with him after this reveal, but it's well established he has friends all over the globe; he's a prodigy, yes, with all the pressure that can bring, but it doesn't appear he was pushed to master air so fast? He just very much enjoys airbending. And Gyatso is a loving guardian.

Which is why he runs away at the first sign of something difficult in his life--the possibility of losing Gyatso.

Compare this to Katara, who was born in a hostile landscape amongst a struggling people. She is, as far as she knows, the last of her kind, with no teacher to guide her. She suffers a traumatic loss young, and it is *explicitly stated in the show* that she stepped up to fill her mother's shoes at what, 7? 8? While her family grieved. Her father leaves, possibly to never return, when she is 11. She is laden with responsibility beyond her years. Her time and energy are not for her to spend on herself--she has too much to do. *She is not a child*

So of *course* she starts mothering this wide-eyed cheerful boy, who got taken away by the same people who murdered her mother within a day of meeting him. He's the Avatar but he's also an innocent kid in need of protection and care.

Now, does that mean she never acts immature? No--she *is* still a teenager, and prone to occasional bouts of typical teenager dumbassery. (see: waterbending scroll). But she does most of the chores and nags the others about their misbehavior and tries to console them when when they're down. She literally poses as Aang's mother at a PTA meeting. For fucks sake, at the end of Season 2, when she's holding a dead Aang sprawled in her arms and looking pleadingly at the sky, there is NO WAY you can convince me all those art students storyboarding that scene WEREN'T making an intentional reference to *La Pieta*--You know, that super famous statue where Mary is cradling her dead Savior son (before he gets resurrected) and that is widely considered one of the most poignant examples of MOTHERLY LOVE AND GRIEF in the whole WORLD.

And I don't know about you... but it's really, really creepy to me for a *romantic* relationship to result from something with that much mother/son energy deliberately coded into the show.

The Lack Of Development

At what point does Katara reciprocate the crush? It's very well established that Aang has a crush, of course. But we've got 61 episodes and basically no definitive evidence that Katara feels anything for Aang beyond platonic affection. There's the time a fortune teller says she'll marry a powerful bender and she's like, 'huh' (let's ignore the fact that Aang at the time is like the only powerful bender she really knows). There's the time she (almost?) kisses Aang in a cave because, you know, she thinks they might stay lost forever and starve to death if she doesn't (romantic!)

The other two times Aang kisses her--she's just kind of shocked after the first one, and gets mad after the second one because she *had just expressed a desire to not do so seconds before* And the fourth kiss is in the literal last 30 seconds of the show, with no dialogue, no lead-up, just a fade to black "welp this is happening, aaaand, SCENE." It very, very much has the feeling of "hero gets the prize/girl" instead of "two people who have been mutually longing for each other come together", and that's really, really gross to me. It does such a disservice to both their characters, but Katara's especially. It feels like she had no agency in this result, that they got together because Aang wanted it so much, but it matters so little what she wanted that we don’t even need to bother showing her wanting it.

The Stunting/Regression of Character Growth

What does Aang sacrifice? The answer? Nothing. 'Now, wait a minute', I can hear you say, 'he lost his entire people and culture! How can you say he's lost nothing!' I didn't say he's never suffered *loss*. But having something taken away from you and giving something up for another's sake are two entirely different things. Aang, in the end, gets everything he wanted--the girl he wanted, his pacifist morals intact and unchallenged, his culture eventually restored. Hell, he even somehow gets the Avatar State, despite never explaining how he manages it when it was EXPLICITLY STATED he couldn't do so without letting go of certain attachments. Wow, guess it turns out he never needed to sort out all of his emotional trauma to acheive inner peace and enlightenment after all--just needed a good acupressure session to get those chakras flowin'! One quick magic whack to the back!

I don't think 'the hero is always right' is a good message. The theme of 'just because you want something doesn't necessarily mean it's what's good for you, or others' is a pretty recurring theme throughout the rest of the show, and having the universe warp itself to accomodate the beliefs of the protagonist (lookin' at you, deus-ex-machina turtle) so he is always right, no matter what, means that he never has to reevaluate his beliefs, never really has to *grow* as a character.

Kya, Ursa, Yue, Iroh, Hakoda, Katara, Sokka, Zuko--hell, even Toph, who makes the decision to let Appa get taken so she can save her friends...

Over and over it's shown that Love is Sacrifice, and I think Aang should have been shown making some personal sacrifices for the sake of the world, instead of showing that the power of clinging to his absolutist morals is enough to solve all his problems.

I understand why the writers, despite showing many characters die off-screen, hesitated to show Aang killing someone, even someone unredeemably evil, because there would be no way to do it OFF screen, and it IS still a kid's show. (On that note: couldn’t they have just somehow...idk, trapped Ozai in the Spirit World or something? Have him literally sent to not-hell?)

BUT, that doesn't mean they couldn't have shown Aang doing something that made him realize that, as the Avatar, even if a necessary action went against his personal beliefs or wasn't what he wanted, his needs are superceded by the needs of the world he claims to love. He ignores this in S2 and nearly pays the ultimate price... but it's never properly addressed again. And thus, because that never happens, I honestly don't consider 13-yr-old Aang all that much more mature than 12-yr-old Aang, and I think that's a waste of potential.

And as for character regression...

Katara? Master Waterbender and war-hero? Who grabbed onto the first opportunity to explore the world beyond her tiny home, who fought for every scrap of skill and recognition she had--against a world determined to see her as lesser because of her race, her gender, her age? Who never backed down from what she thought was right, even when her own family and friends didn't support her? You're telling me that, according to canon, *that same Katara* was perfectly content to retreat to the South Pole and do nothing of note for the next 70 years except for being a good little housewife and healer? Get the fuck out of here with that misogynistic horseshit.

IN CONCLUSION

I could go on. I could talk about the unequal division of emotional labor between the two--with Katara constantly having to be mindful of not upsetting Aang too much lest he fly away and/or have an Avatar State tantrum. With Katara constantly reassuring Aang, but Aang, for instance, offering unsolicited advice about revenge instead of trying to understand what she needed, or kissing her without asking--twice!--and expecting them to be together without him ever even asking if that's what she wanted. I could talk about Katara not taking Aang to task for things he does wrong and Aang not being willing to see that Katara isn't perfect--how he puts her on a pedastal and Katara is afraid to leave it and break his illusions by being her real self.

But ultimately, what it boils down to, it that the most unrealistic thing about AtLA was not the magic, or the spirits, or the hybrid animals.

No, the most unbelievable thing about this show is that the ending was ruined just because more than creating a consistent thematic and emotional throughline, a couple of white dudes wanted to vicariously live out all of their "hot-for-babysitter" childhood fantasies.

And that's all I have to say about that.

#avatar: the last airbender #atla #meta #critical #anti-kataang #don't like don't read #a decade's worth of salt #and i might as well tag #zutara

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turning-dreams-into-chaos · 5 years ago

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Banished (Part 22)

*Not my Gif*

Summary: When the 100 was sent to the ground, Y/N Y/L/N was one of them. Having been locked up for almost 8 years, how will she react to surviving on Earth? Especially when she gets banished…

Post Date: 11-03-19

Paring: Bellamy Blake x Reader

Word Count: 3.8K

A/N: I did it! It’s finished and I hope you all like it! Special thanks to those of you who offered to help! Love you ♥️

~Banished Master~

~Master List~

*Based on episode 2x09 of the 100, Remember me*

*Bold Italics are in Trig, I’m just lazy!*

As the darkness faded away, you kept practicing until your arms were aching and then some. But the moment you let your sword drop, all the pain and all the feelings come flooding back and suddenly you found yourself on your knees being held up with shaken hands. You settled your breathing and yet the pit in your stomach still there, you could feel a pair of eyes on you. Looking over your shoulder you caught a glimpse of the person you least wanted to see.

“Enjoying the show Kane?” Your voice was almost hoarse, from spending all night training and grunting but you paid it no mind.

Kane nodded, taking a step forward as you turned to sit with your knees up, resting the blade across them. “You’ve gotten better.”

The remark almost made you laugh but instead you settled for a scoff. “Yeah, no help from you.”

“Y/N, I-“

“Kane.” You interrupted, “I don’t care anymore. Whatever your excuse is, I just don’t care anymore.” Too much had happened for you to focus on him abandoning you for 10 years. You were about to stand up, go find Lexa or Octavia, you hadn’t gotten the chance to talk to her since the drop ship and you hated it, but Kane sat down and squashed any plans of avoidance.

“Why did you do it?” You furrowed your brows as you didn’t know what he was talking about. “Why did you kill those men?”

You fell silent, not evening acknowledging the fact you heard him but he knew you did. “Your arrest was the one arrest no one could figure out.”

“You really couldn’t figure it out?” You spat before realizing it. Kane flinched, taken back but your words as he scooted closer to you. “Wow, for being part of the chancellors guard, you all suck at paying attention. You know, I’m glad I wasn’t put in your care, maybe if I was then I would’ve turned out neglectful like you.” You were on your feet fast, back turned towards Kane as he shouted.

“And how you are now is better?!” Your feet dug into the ground as you stopped yourself, slowly turning to Kane with a stoic face.

“Yeah. At least I fought my demons, instead of abandoning them, locking them in a cell, ignoring them for 8 years, then sending them to earth to die.” Kane was on his feet, striding closer to you as he looked down at you.

“There’s a reason for that.”

“No Kane. There’s no reason to abandon an 8 year old and put her into the care of punch happy guard with a drinking problem.” The words tumbled out and there was nothing you could do to stop it as Kane’s jaw dropped open. Out of any reason Kane had supplied on you killing them- grieving, going crazing, accidental- he never came to the conclusion you were being beaten. It made him sick to think about the fact that he left you, a girl he loved like a daughter, in the hands of someone who would break her day in and day out.

He was about to say something that you already knew you didn’t want to hear before a horn went off, meaning you all were heading back to Tondc. You didn’t say anything as you turned towards the sound, you mind almost as exhausted as your arms and you didn’t hear Kane’s steps follow yours.

You caught a couple different glances along the way but you didn’t return them, keeping your eyes straight ahead before Lexa’s tent came into view and you entered, shocked to see her alone sitting her chair and staring into the ground.

“Heda?” You questioned as she sat straighter and looked to you.

“You trained with Indra?” You nodded as she smiled a little. “Did it help with your anger?”

You let out a little laugh, realizing that the training was Lexa’s idea and that was why Indra wasn’t so keen on you. “I think so. That or seeing Indra get knocked down.” Lexa laughed at your joke, a hint of welcoming in her eyes before it was gone and someone entered the tent behind you.

“Commander, everyone’s ready.” Gustus said taking a glare at you before focusing on Lexa. You tried to ignore the annoyance in your head as you excused yourself and headed outside. Gustus was right, everything was packed up and you were shocked you hadn’t noticed it on your way in, then again you weren’t really looking around.

A spot of blonde hair next to you caught your attention as you saw Clarke staring off into space. You understood that feeling, she just lost her boyfriend. You were about to go over to her and say something, just anything to let her know you’re sorry before a voice stopped you.

“Y/N?” You spun around at the familiar sound, not even caring as you engulfed Octavia in a hug she just as quickly returned.

“God O, I missed you so much.” You whispered in her ear as you closed your eyes. You felt your shoulder get a little wet and knew she was crying slightly but you didn’t mind it. Octavia was the one person who you couldn’t be mad at, no matter what. When you pulled away, you cupped her cheek with your palm, wiping away any tears as she smiled.

“I missed you too. I wanted to talk to you at the drop ship but I was kind of busy.” She took a step to the side as you saw Lincoln, a smile on his face as he watched you and Octavia embrace. You gave him the same hug, a sigh of relief escaping you when you see he was alright.

The moment was over quick though when you pulled away, slapping his arm a little. “Don’t ever do that again! You don’t get to die!” He chuckled at your response, wrapping an arm around you and bringing you into his hold again.

It was nice to be with him again knowing you were both outsiders. Lincoln from the grounders and you from the sky people. Your reunion was cut short as the wall to Tondc started and you stayed arms linked with Octavia the entire time.

“When did you get that?” She asked, nodding down to the sword attached to your hip.

“Indra’s training me. Says I’m supposed to learn how to fight like a grounder.” She nodded her head, taking a look at the woman herself who was weary of all the sky people around her as her hand never left her own weapon. “Although, I’m much better with a bow.” You told her as she began to tell you all about Lincoln training her.

Bellamy walked next to Clarke, his gun in hand as he kept taking glances back and his eyes trained on you. He only looked away when Clarke stared off into the woods in fear. “Hey, you okay?” He asked her as she kept taking glances back into the woods, blowing off Bellamy’s question with a simple yeah.

“You still think this truce is a bad idea, don’t you?” Bellamy’s jaw hardened as he stared ahead of himself.

“We’re wasting time on politics while our friends are in trouble. Their army has been getting their ass kicked for years. What we need is an inside man.”

Clarke shook her head. “It’s too dangerous.”

“If you two made it out, then I can make it in.” Bellamy ignored the way his stomach dropped as he mentioned you. Clarke on the other hand continued to decline Bellamy’s idea. She knew she only made it out because of you and Anya and if Bellamy was going in there alone, he wouldn’t have any backup.

Bellamy didn’t like Clarke’s refusal, demanding a better reason as Clarke slowed down. “I can’t lose you too.” His lips fell into a straight line, nodding before they continued walking. “Besides, what am I supposed to tell them?” She looked over her shoulder, past her mom and Kane, at you and Octavia. You were no longer talking anymore and just walking forward. Bellamy peaked behind him too, getting your attention before looking ahead. He didn’t say anything to Clarke but he knew she just wanted to give him another reason to stay.

The moment you met Bellamy’s eyes and he looked away, you couldn’t help but feel guilty again.

You tried to push yourself away from your head, focusing on Lexa talking to Gustus about the alliance, but you weren’t fluent at all in Trigedasleng.

“It could kill our...”

“Our... or me?”

“Then do your job and protect me.”

Gustus has a sour look on his face when you turned around, seeing the way he stared at the sky people with distain. You knew that look, Gustus was planning something.

You set up camp a little ways from Tondc and immediately everyone separated into Sky People and Grounders. You scoffed as you found fallen tree and leaned against it, knowing that you weren’t going to get much, if any sleep for the second night in a row. Much to your surprise, Clarke took a spot in the middle of the camp, lining herself up with both sides as Bellamy tells her its safer on their side. Clarke doesn’t listen, telling him they need to build trust before she started to lay down. She noticed you staring, giving you a light smile and head nod. It took a minute but you decided to return the nod, letting Clarke know what she’s doing, building trust, it’s going to be appreciated.

The camp died down, fires went out and you stared into the brightly lit stared sky. It never felt the same as it did when you were a child staring out of the window in the hallways. It felt more natural here, like the stars weren’t being blocked by the glass.

“I’m sorry.” Bellamy whispered as he came into your field of view.

“About what?”

He took a seat next to you, copying your stance and staring into the moon and stars. “Lots of things.” You fell into a silence and for once it wasn’t awkward or out of anger. It was wanted. Call it sleep deprivation or pure craziness, but you grabbed Bellamy’s hand, hearing his breathing hitch before he adjusted his grip, wrapping his fingers around your hand.

“I’m sorry too. I’m tired of fighting with you Bellamy. You’re too persistent and I’m too messed up.” You both looked at each other, both of your mouths turned to a frown but both deserved. “I’m just not used to people caring anymore. You know, one minute I’m getting ready for my death and the next I’m being hurled through space towards earth where I meet my new best friend and her dumb brother.” You both laughed as he nudged you in the shoulder, making you laugh a little harder. A few people around you woke up, sending you death glares as you hid your face in between your shoulder and Bellamy’s. The action made Bellamy smile and he squeezed your hand.

“Y/N?” Bellamy whispered as you hummed. “What are we?”

You didn’t really know how to answer that. What were you? “Friends?”

Bellamy smiled again, knowing that you finally considered him a friend made his stomach have butterflies. “Friends.” He repeated softly. You stayed with your head on his shoulder and he rested his on top of yours, as you both slowly dozed off.

You woke up to the sounds of people rising as Bellamy and you shared a few embarrassed glances and got up, grabbing your things and finishing the 10 mile trek to Tondc. They took all the weapons, searching all the sky people and you.

You were all lead into Tondc, Bellamy by your side and for once you weren’t paying attention to him. The grounders around you were screaming, yelling threats about death to the sky people and among them your heard a few death to Skaikiler. You held your breath as a man stepped out into the way and Lexa signaled Gustus to remove him. Gustus started to beat on him and Clarke begged for her to make him stop, saying they’ll blame them for it. Lexa turned to you and you gave her a knowing look as she orders Gustus to stop. Clarke caught onto the exchange with confusion, not sure as to why Lexa had looked to you.

“Warm welcome.” Bellamy mumbles to you after Lexa’s promise to kill anyone threatening the alliance. You nodded, swallowing thickly and following after Clarke with Bellamy.

After Finns funeral you were lead to a dinning hall, a huge table set up and sky people stood on one side while the grounders stood on the other. You didn’t know which side to truly take before Lexa had you stand next to her.

Kane pulled out a bottle of liquor, offering it to the commander. Gustus pulls out two goblets, placing them in front of Lexa before she stops him.

“Grab another for Y/N. She drinks with us.” Gustus nodded his head, casting a frown as he put another cup on the table which Lexa filled in the liquid. She hands one to you and one to Clarke and you toast almost taking a sip before Gustus has stopped you all.

“Heda, allow me.” He took the cup from Lexa, taking a drink before handing it back.

“Today we celebrate peace...” Lexa began as you tapped your finger against the cup. Almost as soon as she finished her speech Gustus collapsed behind you and everyone went into shock as he started convulsing. Bellamy smacked the cup out of your hand as Abby took the one out of Clarke’s. You were frozen, staring at Bellamy’s wide eyes as Indra screamed for you all to be searched again.

“We didn’t do this! You know we didn’t!” Clarke cried out as you finally pulled yourself together, allowing the grounder to frantically search you, only to come up empty.

“Heda.” Someone who was searching Raven said as you turned your attention, seeing him pull out a small vile of poison.

“No sky person leaves this room.” Lexa orders before leaving, locking you in there with the rest of them.

You sat in the corner, resting your head back against the cold concrete.

Kane, who was standing on the other side of the room, was pacing back and forth.

...a punch happy guard with a drinking problem.

He knew something more was going on when you were arrested and now everything was starting to make sense. Except one thing. He walked over to Bellamy, who was leaning on the wall.

“Why was she banished?” He asked, skipping all formalities. Bellamy sucked in a breath, clearing his throat as he tried to find the words.

“She killed a kid.”

“Who?”

Bellamy felt like they were loudest people in the room as he continued. “Some kid named James. I don’t know, she left the camp and when we went to find her she had a knife and was covered in his blood.” Kane wore a scowl as his mind kept piecing things together, one after another.

James. He knew exactly why the only James was sent down here.

Kane pushes himself away from Bellamy, who proceeded to follow him. “Kane. What’s wrong?”

“James was arrested for raping a girl when he was intoxicated.” He told Bellamy in a hushed whisper as Bellamy’s world just collapsed. The night you killed him, half the camp was drunk off their asses. There was no reason for James not to be as well.

Clarke was the first person to approach you, sliding down the wall until she was on the floor. “Raven didn’t poison the drink.”

“I know.” You assured her, peaking open an eye to see her taken back look.

“What?”

“I know Raven didn’t poison the drink.”

“How?”

You guffawed, “You’re dumb Clarke. But you’re not stupid. You need this alliance. If you don’t the mountain men won’t be the ones dying. It will be your people.”

“Our people.”

“Your people.” The bitterness in your voice made Clarke stop trying. But when she stared straight ahead, her eyes widened and her breathing started increasing. “Clarke? What’s wrong with you?” You were concerned for the blonde. Since Finn, she hasn’t been acting like herself.

She hesitated but sighed, leaning her head back like you. “Just problems.” She said, blowing off your concern.

“Lexa needs this alliance.” You shift in your seat to face Clarke as she follows. “She thinks we tried to kill her, so let’s figure out who did.”

“Who wants her dead?”

You shake your head, clicking your tongue against the roof of your mouth. “Too many to count. This alliance was a risk even more so after Finn.”

Clarke’s face dropped at the mention of his name. Everyone started to gather around you two, listening in and trying to help. You kept your eyes drawn to the floor and dodging the glances of Bellamy and Kane. “So it has to be someone trying to break the alliance?” Octavia asks before the door opens, Indra enters and everyone scrambled to their feet. Bellamy pushes you and Octavia behind him and you were thankful for the buffer as right now the woman most likely isn’t taking to you very well. They pull Raven out against all your pleads, saying when she’s dead the alliance is too. Raven was tied up and you and Lincoln shared a glance. He’s told you about this ritual, 1000 cuts and she’s dead. Suddenly everything became blurry and people were yelling and Raven was getting cut. Your head started spinning and you just wanted this to stop. Abby and Clarke were talking before Abby left her and you took her place.

“Clarke. Do something.” You told her as she spun around towards the inside of the room.

“I can’t take it anymore! Say something!” Clarke yelled into nothing and you furrowed your brows.

“Clarke?” You pressed, now completely sure something was going on with Clarke that you didn’t know about. Abby came back, yelling at the both of you in order to make their escape. “Clarke?” You grabbed her shoulders, trying to get her to look at you but she didn’t. Instead she glanced down to where the discarded goblet laid.

“It wasn’t in the bottle.” She mumbled.

“What?” You gasped as she grabbed your hand and pulled you along with her upstairs. Bellamy caught you when Clarke let go.

“Clarke stop! You’re gonna get yourself killed!” He yelled but she ignored him. “Are you alright?” He asked looking over you as you stood in shock. You nodded your head, taking a step closer to Lexa as Bellamy followed, a hand gently laid on your back. Clarke drank the liquor Kane brought as Lexa watched in anger.

“Explain.”

“The poison was never in the bottle, it was in the cup.”

“A trick commander.” Gustus spoke as the hand on your back, pressed you more into Bellamy.

“It was you. You searched Raven.” Lexa denied Bellamy’s words, saying Gustus would never harm her before you realized,

“You weren’t the target. The alliance was.” Lexa turned to you, a frown on her lips.

“You’ve been accused Gustus, speak true.” Gustus told her the truth, how this alliance would cost her her life. “And this treachery will cost you yours.”

Raven was taken down and Gustus was strung up instead. Everyone taking a slice at him.

“This would’ve been Finn.” Raven mumbled as you whisper a yeah. Bellamy grabbed your hand, both of your eyes never wavering from Gustus.

Lexa delivered the final blow as Gustus’ head dipped to his chest.

That night you all sat around fires, drinking in the silence like air. You were sitting across the fire from Bellamy, seeing the way the fire lit up his face as you closed your eyes.

Lincoln broke the silence, “How did you know it was Gustus?”

“He’d do anything to protect her, it made sense.” Lincoln glanced at Octavia the same time Bellamy glances at you, the thought getting to him as he watched you stare at the flames again.

Bellamy could only think about what Kane told him today, knowing that he needed to talk to you about it because it’s been eating him up all day. “Y/N, I need to ta-“

“Hey guys, listen to this!” Raven said interrupting Bellamy as he sighed and got up, you following right after him and listening to part of Jaspers rescue message before leaving, heading straight to Lexa.

“We have the alliance.” You told her as she dismissed the men she was talking to. “Time to use it. Get both your people and our people out.”

“Your people?” She asked as you dropped your gaze.

“Their people. Your people and their people.” She nodded her head ar your correction and saw Clarke started making her way over to you two before stopping and talking to air. You left Lexa and walked back to the fires, expecting everyone to still be there but all there was Lincoln and Octavia sat next to their fire. You took your original spot, looking around for Bellamy but came up empty. Resting your head in your lap you tried to drown out everyone around you. But one voice made it through.

“I know why you got arrested.” Kane said as he took seat next to you. His eyes were lined with bags and you could tell he was just beating himself up. You didn’t say anything as Octavia and Lincoln glance at you, trying to keep from overhearing but at the same time they were curious.

“Kane, you don’t have to-“

“I know it wasn’t your fault.” He put a hand on your knee and you refrained from pushing it away, knowing that you needed this as much as he did. “You were defending yourself.”

“Why didn’t you come talk to me? 8 years and no visits.” You rushed out with a wavering voice.

“I was scared. I was confused. I was-“

“Neglectful.” You finished for him as he nodded, squeezing your knee before letting go. You put your head back into your lap and tried to even your breathing. “You knew Kane. You knew my parents killed themselves and part of it was because of me. You read the letter and you still abandoned me. You didn’t want me then so you get to have me now.”

You felt like you were repeating yourself and it seemed like no matter what, Kane was just not getting the fact that you wouldn’t have turned out like this if he hadn’t abandoned you.

“I’m sorry.”

“Everyone’s sorry.” You told him, “but saying you’re sorry doesn’t make me any less damaged.” You left the fire and Kane, walking to the edge of the woods and sitting alone in the dark.

Feedback?

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thatmultifandomhoe · 6 years ago

Text

Strawberry Cream and BBQ - 25 (Final)

Pairing: Hybrid Hoseok and Human Reader

Overview: Your best friend knows she can count on you for anything, so when she asks you to watch her hybrid while she’s gone for a study abroad trip for four months, you can’t say no. But when these four months are over, things have changed in a way no one expected.

Word Count: 6,716k

Genre: Hybrid AU, Fluff, Future smut, Angst, Best friends to Lovers

Warning: It’s the end

A/N: I hope y’all enjoy this final conclusion of Strawberry Cream and BBQ! Thank you everyone for sticking around and reading this, much longer than anticipated, fic lol.

Master List

Sneak Peak - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 (Final) - Move in Day: A SC&BBQ Drabble

©thatmultifandomhoe Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

It was with a groan that you set your backpack on the seat next to you, propping your legs up on the basic white coffee table that was placed in front of the couches in their lounges. Classes were officially over and you were free for the next four months until the fall semester. You could do whatever your heart desired.

Instead of hoping into the car and taking the first exit to the beach, you comfortably settled yourself onto the couch and slipped in a pair of blue earbuds. The chatter of college students relieved to be done with the semester and the squeaking of sneakers against the tile floor was silenced by the music playing. More specifically, it was the song that Hoseok had chosen for his solo dance in The Dance Studio’s May show.

“Things are, improving,” Hoseok said. The camera moved on his end and he was briefly out of focus as he adjusted on his bed. It was late and while the two of you should have been sleeping, you wanted to see him one last time.

You forced yourself to smile, running a hand through your hair and wishing that he was playing with it instead. “Enough that we’ll be able to see each other again?” You asked.

Time had been passing slowly since Sue removed Hoseok from your life, and every day that went by felt like a piece of your soul was being ripped to itty bitty pieces. The hope of Hoseok one day walking back through the front door and healing you back together felt more like a dream the longer you were apart. You didn’t want to be dramatic, but that’s how it felt.

The small smile that had been on his face slipped, and you had your answer before he even spoke. “We’re going to be together baby; I promise.”

Hoseok wasn’t the type to feed you empty promises, he always kept his word, but it felt like he wasn’t even sure this time. Whether or not he wanted to admit it out loud, the idea of being together again seemed only possible in dreams.

The conversation always shifted to a new topic that you, or him, quickly came up with until your eyes became too heavy to keep open, and it was only with his coaxing that you got under the blankets and went to bed. He usually ended up promising to not end the video call until you were asleep.

He was trying so hard and you understood why he wasn’t pushing things, but you missed him so much. Which is why you weren’t going home just yet. With school out, there were no more tests and papers to focus your attention on, allowing your mind to wander to these last few months.

Your life had been completely flipped upside down, and yet despite all the worry and trouble, you didn’t regret a single moment. The only thing you wished for was more time. If Hoseok had discovered the truth earlier, there would have been plenty of time to tell Sue, to be together, and to not worry about whether or not there was a future instore for the two of you.

With earbuds in, you didn’t hear Johnny call your name or see him wave his hands to catch your attention. For a good moment, he stood across the room and watched, wondering if you were purposely ignoring him, but when he only sensed your lingering emptiness, he figured that you hadn’t seen him at all.

He sighed, ears twitching underneath the beanie he wore on his head. Unlike a month ago, your emotions were no longer suffocating to the hybrids that attended the college, and more specifically, the ones who shared classes with you.

Johnny remembered the first day you came back after the fight. After skipping classes for two days, you came back on the third. The instant you entered the classroom, him and the few other hybrids in the class had to fight back against their natural instincts to whine and whimper in empathy. Lori, a gentle bunny hybrid, had to leave with her belongings and tears in her eyes because your emotions were so overwhelming.

While the humans in the class barely gave you a second glance, the hybrids were squirming in their seats, their own hearts breaking alongside with yours. Every hybrid learned about mates when they were around fifteen years old – in some rare cases even when they were children if kids found their mates by accident – allowing them to comprehend what having a mate meant. Every hybrid’s worst fear was either having their mate removed from them, and losing their mate to death. And even though Hoseok never died, you were grieving the loss of him no longer being by your side.

It made every hybrid long for their mates whether or not they had met them, simply so they could hug them tight and make sure they were safe.

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Johnny headed back to the ice cream vending machine he had passed on the way to the lobby. Luckily, it had been restocked the other day and he knew that you loved a classic ice cream sandwich. The one with the two chocolate chip cookies. He was waiting for the machine to drop the dessert into the pickup slot when a purple sign caught his eye.

It was tacked up on the board among a dozen other posters advertising events on the campus, but this one stood out. In black bold letters, it announced the Dance Studio’s annual May show. It listed some of the groups that were going to be performing as well as some of their well-known soloists. Hoseok’s name was the third one printed out, and with a glance at the date, he grabbed the flyer along with the ice cream for you.

“Hey!” Johnny shouted, ignoring the strange looks he received as he made his way back to you.

With the music playing loudly, you were startled to suddenly hear shouting. Only when you looked up, you weren’t surprised upon seeing that it was Johnny. He didn’t have a filter all the time.

“Why are you shouting?” You slowly asked, zipping the earbuds back into your bag for safe keeping. He didn’t answer you. Instead, once you looked back up at him, he tossed the ice cream sandwich at you, forcing you to react so it wouldn’t hit the wall behind you and break. “Don’t you know it’s rude to throw things?” The packaging crinkled as you tore it open, happily taking out the dessert to munch on.

“And don’t you know it’s rude to not say thank you when friends buy you things?” He settled in the seat next to you, putting your bag on the floor as he mimicked the position you sat in.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, taking a bite out of the ice cream.

Satisfied, Johnny gave you a moment to enjoy the treat before placing the flyer on your leg.

The ice cream was in your mouth when he did that. At first, it looked like another advertisement for Disney Trivia that the student council regularly put on. It was one of the more popular events, especially when they went all out for the prizes. One time, there had been a Michael Kors hand bag as a first place winning.

All it took was reading Hoseok’s name however, for you to realize this wasn’t an on-campus event. Butterflies erupted in your belly as you stared at his name. The Dance Studio usually only listed the names of their most popular dance groups and soloists. To see that Hoseok was the third one to have his name on the flyer, said so much about his dancing abilities.

Johnny silently watched as your thumb absentmindedly ran against the letters spelling out Hoseok’s name, a soft smile appearing. “Why don’t we go?” He gently asked, nudging your shoulder when you didn’t look up. “It starts at seven, plus…I think it’ll do you some good to see him.”

“Sue might be there,” you automatically replied.

His insides cramped up at the mention of Sue. He never had any beef with her before, and it wasn’t like him to automatically dislike someone before meeting and getting to know them, but knowing what she did to you and Hoseok, he couldn’t help but dislike her. As a hybrid himself, what she did was vile and the worst possible thing in the world.

“You can’t let that stop you,” Johnny argued. “He’s your mate, you have the right to be there and to support him for when he goes up on stage. Plus, she doesn’t have to know you’re there. She’s human. She won’t be able to smell your scent like we can.”

He made a decent argument.

Hell, Johnny made an honest argument.

You didn’t have to tell her that you were going to be there. She couldn’t stop you. The Dance Studio was always open to the public and with the show, they encouraged everyone to come out and watch as the dancers performed. Not only to see how hard they’ve been working on the choreography, but because it also helped to raise funds for the building and other miscellaneous things.

Taking another bite of the softened ice cream, you continued to look at the flyer, your heart absorbing the fact that you were seeing his name written out. Jung Hoseok. Your sweet, precious, loving mate, was going to have his chance to show everyone what you already knew he was capable of being: an amazing and incredibly talented dancer.

Were you really going to let your life be dictated by Sue and her anger?

You crumpled up the empty wrapper as you swallowed the remaining ice cream, tossing the wrapper in the trash. It wasn’t until you were back at the couch that you spoke.

Johnny – who was casually taking a deep breath – could smell a difference in your emotions. They weren’t heavy with sadness and fear. For once, they were lifting up with hope.

“Let’s go,” you decided, smiling when you made eye contact with him. He was already grinning from ear to ear. “This is Hoseok’s big night, and we’re going to be there.”

* * *

Hoseok took a deep breath as he stared at himself in the mirror. It was the big night that he’s been waiting months for, and it was finally here. The outfit he had decided to wear was simple: black skinny jeans that were ripped at the knees, black sneakers, and an untuck white button up dress shirt with the cuffs unbutton. It was basic and not at all glittery or sparkling under the lights, but that’s exactly what he wanted. He wanted the music and his dancing to speak a thousand words.

Simple, but on purpose.

He was standing backstage waiting his turn. The soloists and groups were alternating their appearances, that way the audience’s attention would remain captive throughout the show. Rocking back and forth on his heels, he smiled when a group of girls in sparkly dresses ran by barefoot, quickly throwing a wave to him over their shoulders. They were regulars at the Dance Studio and usually would have stopped to shout his name, but they were on after his performance, so he understood the rush.

Stepping away from the corner, he neared the edge of the stage and stood next to the stage manager, watching the performance. It was a contemporary dance with students ranging from sixteen to twenty years of age, and while it was beautifully done, his mind continued to wander.

Sue was sitting somewhere in the audience. After arriving, he had gone backstage to get ready and she had gone to get a seat before they were all taken. There had been one year where there was only standing room left.

Even if he closed his eyes and inhaled, he wouldn’t be able to find her in the crowd. There were too many different scents, perfumes, makeup, and snacks floating around in the air, that hers was lost. He could only hope that she hadn’t left.

Then he wondered if you were there. Craning his neck so he could look out into the audience, without being seen of course, he tried to spot you before settling back into the shadows. He had heard once that when a couple was mated, their scents were easily detected even in large crowds like this.

The temptation to try and seek you out was so strong that he contemplated sneaking out to the sidelines to try and find you, but he held himself back. He knew, that you knew how much this meant to him. At the same time, with Sue being here, he hoped that you stayed home. He hated not seeing you, hell, his entire wellbeing needed you by his side, but he couldn’t risk you getting hurt.

The memory of you crying in bed as Sue yelled at the two of you, and then again when you stood at the doorway as he left with her was forever seared into his mind. He had physically been right there and still; he couldn’t protect you. If keeping you away from Sue for the time being meant that you’d be safe, then he was willing to keep you at an arm’s distance even as it killed him.

As the violins came to a sudden finish, Hoseok blinked as he rolled his neck. It was only a few minutes now. Once the kids ran off to the other side of the stage, it was all on him. He had no idea how anyone would respond to his performance. It was darker, and with the exception of a few lines, the song wasn’t even in English. He knew that you had liked the song because of the heart emojis you sent after listening to it, so your response had reassured him a little. Now he was about to find out the truth.

“Just pe-performance jitters,” he murmured to himself.

Shaking his head, he closed his eyes as the audience’s clapping filled the room along with their cheers. The thumping of feet hurrying off the stage reached his ears first before the sudden gasps as the room went dark and the curtains closed. He couldn’t help the little grin when he reopened his eyes and saw the backdrop getting wheeled in place. It was a brick background with cement blocks positioned around the stage meant to look like the underground.

He walked out to the middle of stage and positioned himself on his knees, the squeaking of the curtains recapturing everyone’s attention. With the lights still off, a soothing voice rang out over the speakers.

“My scene, was not specifically this or that, but consisted of having shaken hands with the devil. The devil held me in his clutches. The enemy, was behind me.”

A purple stage light focused on him as the music started to play, light magenta and purple fog entering from both sides of the stage. In that moment, he forgot about everything as he danced. He had been preparing for this for months, each move coming with well-practiced ease that it was second nature. This is what he lived for.

When he did his flip and the audience gasped as the stage was no longer dark, but red and green black light paint suddenly appearing against the floor and background as his white shirt glowed. He wanted to break character and smile like no tomorrow, but he refrained from doing so, especially when he saw fingers pointing at the image of angel wings being reflected behind him for a brief moment, before they too disappeared.

Landing on his knees once more, his chest heaved as the room went black again, ending his performance. It was only dark for a second before the lights turned back on and he was standing up for the cheering of the audience. When he had come out, everyone had been sitting in their seats. This time however, they were all standing.

It was only now that he grinned, waving and bowing while wiping away the sweat that dripped down the sides of his face. The performance was only two, maybe three minutes long, but it felt like a lifetime to him. From coming up with choreography and spending all those extra hours practicing, for those two minutes, it was worth it all the long nights and aching pains he pushed himself through.

Straightening up, he smiled as he took a deep breath to even out his breathing, when his heart suddenly stopped. No. That couldn’t be...he had to be imagining things. Keeping the smile on his face, he slowly made his way to the side of the stage as he inhaled once more, focusing on a single scent.

He hadn’t smelt that scent in a while, but he recognized the smell of strawberry cream as it enveloped his senses.

* * *

As soon as the lights were down for the second time signaling the end of Hoseok’s performance, you were up and wildly clapping for him. There was no way he could see you. The only spots that you and Johnny were able to snag weren’t even seats at all. The two of you were standing against the side wall, but up until Hoseok’s performance, you had been sitting on the floor.

You had been late to arriving and thought you had missed it, but when you were given a program of the performances, you sighed with relief when you saw that Hoseok was going up sixth. It was a little disappointing to miss the opening performances, but as you took the bouquet of roses back from Johnny, it was all worth it.

“He knows,” Johnny spoke, stealing your attention away from Hoseok who was now exiting the stage.

Turning to face your friend, who had forgone the beanie tonight and allowing the tips of his ferret ears to appear, you frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Johnny shook his head as he placed a hand on the middle of your back, guiding you away from the wall. “Hoseok knows you’re here.”

“How?” Despite not knowing the answer, you followed Johnny as he maneuvered his way through the crowed.

Johnny glanced at you before leading you up the stairs to the side of the stage, ducking out of sight of the crowd. “I saw it on his face. It was when he exiting and he stood still for that split second. Because you’re his mate, he can smell your scent in the crowd. He’ll always be able to find you.”

It took a second for what he was saying to make sense, but when it did, it made your heart flutter. No matter what happened, he was always going to find you.

“Do you think we can find him?” You eagerly asked, looking around Johnny’s body in an attempt to find your Hoseok. Just knowing that you were in the same building as him had your body feeling more alive than it has in these last few weeks.

“I can try,” Johnny answered, guiding your backstage. He was already a step ahead of you and had been planning on leading you to Hoseok after his performance. You didn’t know it, but with Hoseok’s scent intertwined with yours, he was able to pick up the faintest scent of Hoseok backstage, and it was growing stronger.

Taking a deep breath, Johnny hurried as the scent led him out to a hallway that was away from the auditorium that the show was being held in. Your footsteps echoed against the tile floor, a vast contrast to the pulsating hip hop music that was currently being played as another group took to the stage.

You stopped moving when Johnny stood still, not entirely sure if the two of you were going in the right direction or not since he didn’t come here often. You knew where you were though. This was the hallway that led to the dance room that Hoseok used to teach his classes. It was the same room that he spent countless hours practicing in, and was the same room that the two of you shared multiple dinner dates in.

Without saying a word, you handed the bouquet to Johnny to hold, and walked to the room. The light was already on as you entered, your eyes watering up as you looked at the mirrored wall.

Standing there like he knew you were going to come, Hoseok smiled as he pushed off the mirror wall.

“Hoseok?” You whispered.

Hoseok nodded, stretching his arms out for a hug as you hurried into his embrace. Hugging you tightly to his chest, he buried his face in your hair as he felt your hands clutch onto the back of his shirt. You were here, you saw him perform, and he was holding you again.

Against his own will, tears slipped out of his eyes as he straightened up, whines escaping immediately at the small distance that only ceased when he picked you up. Your legs wrapped around his waist and without hesitation, he was kissing you like there was no tomorrow.

He was covered in sweat but you didn’t care. All you could think about was how right this, how at home it was to be in his arms, and to kiss him again. Sliding your arms across his shoulders, you held tightly to the man you called your other half, your mate, shivering when he pulled back to kiss your mate mark.

“Oh God you’re here,” Hoseok murmured, his lips still kissing the mark as his arms tightened around you. “I can’t believe you came Strawberry; I’ve missed you so much baby.”

Burying your face in his neck, you hummed in agreement. You were afraid that if you tried speaking that instead of words, tears would be flowing out. Somehow sensing your predicament, Hoseok gently kissed the side of your jaw as he rubbed your back.

He was here and this time, he wasn’t letting anyone split the two of you up again. A soft rumble escaped his chest the longer he held you, the familiarity of your body and scent truly relaxing him for the first time since he was separated from you.

This time, you lifted your head, slowly smiling as looked at Hoseok. His brown eyes warmed your heart as the fire ignited in your veins.

“Um guys, I hate to interrupt but…”

You knew that Johnny wouldn’t have spoken unless it was extremely important, but even though logically you should have listened to him, your heart denied logic as you leaned down to kiss Hoseok once more. It had been too long since you went without his kisses and his touch and right now, you wanted to be selfish and take what he was giving.

Hoseok growled against your lips, tilting his head for the perfect angle. He knew who was there with Johnny, and despite having the heart to heart moment with her, his instincts were still upset that she had split him from his mate. It was his instincts that were enhancing his emotions to take what was his and prove to everyone that you belonged to him and no one else. As barbaric as it sounded, in a way, it was true. You were his mate, and he was yours. Your souls were meant for each other the day you were both born. You weren’t meant to be separated like you had been.

“Don’t worry Johnny,” Sue spoke, her heels echoing as she entered the room. “Let them have their time together.”

In contradiction to her words, your body froze. You hadn’t expected it to be her that Johnny was warning you about, you thought maybe it was a staff member or a wandering performer.

Fear washed over Hoseok, forcing him to break the kiss as he looked up at you. It wasn’t him who was afraid though. Seeing the tears form in your eyes, your bottom lip trembling, he shook his head immediately as his arms tightened even more around you as he felt your legs grip his waist.

“No Strawberry,” he murmured, kissing your mark to reassure you. “I’m not leaving you again baby. I don’t care what happens, but I’m staying with you no matter what. Just relax for me hun. Take a deep breath, it’s going to be okay.”

As you did what he said, he glanced over your shoulder to see Johnny and Sue standing at the entrance. He nodded at Johnny, who based off of his scent, was the same Johnny that he smelled at your apartment all those months ago.

Johnny apologetically smiled as he gestured towards Sue with a small nod of his head, but Hoseok didn’t blame him. It wasn’t his fault that everything had happened. He was just grateful that you had a friend like him around. With the exception of that one time, but that was in the past.

Focusing back on you, Hoseok gently kissed you once you were calmed down, carefully lowering you back on the ground. Like he figured, you pressed against his side as he slid his arm around your shoulders, keeping you close.

Sue, sensing that it was better to approach you now, made her way over. The entire interaction between you and Hoseok hadn’t fallen on blind eyes. Considering everything that she’s done, it was almost surprising that she hadn’t interrupted the second she entered the room.

You watched as Sue stopped in front of you, her hands holding onto the large purse she had sitting on her shoulder. Figuring she wanted Hoseok, you wrapped your other arm across his stomach, gripping on to the fabric of his shirt. It was a pitiful attempt, but if it came down to it, you weren’t letting him go without standing up for yourself.

“Look, I’m just going to get straight to the point here,” Sue said. Releasing on hand, she ran it through her hair as she looked at Hoseok. “You two are mates, and I shouldn’t have separated you from each other. It was wrong of me, and I can see that now.”

Licking her lips, she glanced at you, her eyes softening for the briefest moment before hardening once more. “I hurt you in more ways than I expected, and because of that, I lost two of the most important friendships that I ever had because I couldn’t see past my own pain.

“You don’t know it, but a lot happened in Hong Kong besides the breakup with Colin, and in all honesty, being on my own was actually good. I made a lot of friends there, and I think I had started to find out who I am as a person. Which is why, I’m planning on moving. To Hong Kong.”

The room was silent as her declaration settled in everyone’s mind. Sue was moving, half way across the world. Your mouth dropped open and if it weren’t for Hoseok holding you, you would have fallen on your ass. If she was moving, then was she taking Hobi with her?

As if she knew where you mind was heading, Sue opened her bag and after some ruffling, she pulled out a packet. “While in Hong Kong, I got to start my life over. I wasn’t the girl whose parents died in that car accident. Nobody knew who I was or that I was loaded. Instead, they just knew me as Sue, the girl who was studying abroad in a foreign country. Right now, that’s what I need…because I’m not the same person I was when I adopted Hoseok, nor am I the same person I was before I left. And I need to figure out who I am before doing anything else. So, this is for you.”

Waiting until you removed an arm from Hoseok, she handed the packet to you and took a step backwards. She wasn’t surprised when you gasped, the corner of her lips twitching upwards for a brief moment.

“You’ll see that my signature is in every spot that it’s required for. All you have to do is sign it yourselves and bring it to the courthouse. I already checked, I don’t have to be there when you bring it and they’ll mail the official documents to your address within a period of time after it’s been approved.”

You tightly held on to the paperwork for the Mate Act, leaning into Hoseok’s side even more. With shaky fingers, you flipped through the papers to see that she was telling the truth. Every line that required Sue’s signature was already filled out.

This is what you’ve been wanting for weeks. Ever since Hoseok told you about the Mate Act, really. Blinking, you slowly looked back up at Sue. You didn’t understand where this was coming from. After everything, why was she now changing her mind?

Sue held onto her elbow, looking at the wall behind you as she avoided eye contact with either of you. All the years that you’ve known her, Sue wasn’t usually sentimental. The last time you actually saw her cry had been that day when her parents died. After that, it was like a wall had been built that not even she had been able to break down.

Hoseok carefully took the packet out of your hands, scanning through it himself or otherwise he would think this was simply a dream. He didn’t know what to think. While yes, he wanted to be with you and wanted Sue to sign, it was the sudden decision of her moving to Hong Kong that had him hesitating.

“Where is this coming from?” He asked, feeling your gaze on him as he focused on Sue. “Moving to Hong Kong. You…you never even mentioned permanently moving there, let alone a vacation.”

“I know,” Sue answered. “But I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Ever since I came back actually.” Running a hand through her hair, her face softening as she shrugged. “All I know is that it’s time I focused on myself, and this really is the best way for me to do that.”

Taking a shaky breath, you tried to wrap your mind around what Sue was saying, but it all kept coming back to the fact that she was leaving. “When?” You finally asked.

“Before the start of the new semester. Mid-August. I’ll be putting the house up on the market in June.”

That meant that there were only three more months until she was gone.

“Are, are you sure about this Sue?”

She raised an eyebrow at you. That was a question she had been expecting to come from Hoseok, but the more she thought about it, it made sense that you would want to make sure she was positive about this. Even though she had emotionally detached from your friendship, you always made sure that she was doing okay. Whether it was by bringing her favorite snack and stopping by her house, or a simple phone call and text to check on her. It wasn’t like you to ignore someone else when they weren’t okay.

For the first time, Sue smiled. It was small and a little awkward, but she did it. “Yes. I’m absolutely positive about this. You did an amazing job out there Hoseok, and I really am proud of how far you’ve come with your dancing. Go home with Strawberry tonight, you earned it. I’m going to head back home.”

She had started to step away once more, but before she could make it far, Hoseok moved to her side and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. It shocked her so she didn’t return the gesture right away, but she slowly hugged him back.

“You gave me a whole new life,” Hoseok murmured in her ear, knowing that she was going to take this to heart. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. This last month hasn’t been easy but, I’m gonna miss you. We’re, going to miss you.”

Biting down on the inside of her cheek, Sue kept her tears out of sight as she squeezed Hoseok. The decision to fill out the paperwork hadn’t been easy, but then she remembered how to easily she reminded him that he was just another hybrid, and it made her feel sick inside. He wasn’t less of a person because of his genetics, and she never used to think that way.

Adopting Hoseok had been a major change in her life. So wasn’t moving to Hong Kong. It wasn’t only necessary, but something that she wanted. Besides, he didn’t belong in Hong Kong with her. He had a life, a job, and his friends were all right here in this town. Most importantly, he had you here. She had already tried splitting the two of you up once, and that was a lesson she never wanted to learn the hard way again.

“I’ll miss you too,” Sue whispered back. “But I need to do this for me.”

Hoseok leaned back, sadly smiling as he squeezed her shoulders. “I know. You need to take care of yourself, and that’s all that matters.”

Letting go of Sue, Hoseok made his way back to you. Your emotions were all over the place: One second they were happy, the next they were sad, but ultimately, they were conflicted. On one hand, your best friend was moving away. On the other, she had been the one to hurt you.

“It’s okay,” he murmured. Cupping the back of your head, he gently kissed your temple. “Do what you need to do. I’ll be waiting outside with Johnny by the car.”

You lifted your head, catching his smile before he turned and went to Johnny and walking out into the hallway. Their footsteps and voices carried out in the silence before a door slammed shut, leaving only the two of you in the dance room.

The silence was awkward. Neither of you knew what to say to the other. What was there left to say, after everything that’s happened? Sue was right, she wasn’t the same person she used to be, and neither were you. In these last few months, it wasn’t just the small things that changed. Everything had changed.

“Sue I…” You paused to lick your lips. This was the first real conversation you’ve had with her in a long time, and you wanted to make it right. “I really, really do appreciate this. It means a lot to us. It couldn’t have been easy.”

Sue nodded in agreement; her lips pressed together in thought. With Hoseok, she knew what to say and where they stood, but with you…it was like walking blind. She didn’t want to hurt you anymore than she already did.

“And I’m sorry, that you found out like that. We should have called and told you when we found out.”

“Thank you,” Sue spoke, her voice wobbling for only a second before she regained control of her emotions. “I know I haven’t made things easy for anyone. I just wanted to do something right before I leave. These next few months are going to be busy with preparing to move, finding a place to live in Hong Kong and everything else.”

That makes sense, you thought. “Well, good luck in Hong Kong. Although, I know you’ll do great. You always liked going on adventures.”

It was a weak attempt at an old inside joke the two of you once shared. Sue had always been the more adventurous between the two of you, while you preferred staying in with a close group of friends. The joke resulted in a small chuckle from Sue and that made you smile. There was still a part of her that you knew after all.

Saying goodbye didn’t last much longer after that. Sue left shortly after, leaving you alone in the practice room. With only your thoughts and the paperwork, you took your time walking out to the parking lot. The sound of your heels clicking against the tile floor were comforting as your feet led you out, the path automatically ingrained in your memory.

The interaction with Sue had gone a lot smoother than the last, and you were grateful that it wasn’t anything like last time. Her decision to move away made sense, and speaking from the heart, you were happy she was going. The Sue that had stood there wasn’t the same woman you’ve called your best friend for years now. Instead of seeing her standing in front of you, it was someone who resembled her and had similar interests, but she was someone you didn’t really know anymore. And you were willing to bet she felt the exact same way about you.

For some reason, that was okay with you.

As the breeze met your skin, your body shivered and your heels weren’t loud anymore, but a thoughtful click against the pavement. It didn’t hurt to think about Sue anymore, and you weren’t sad or angry. A nostalgic feeling settled in your heart as your memories with Sue came to mind, and you decided you liked that better.

“That’s not your car Strawberry.”

Glancing up, you were surprised to see that your feet had led you to a pickup truck. You shook your head in amusement and went to your car, which was parked only two spots over.

Hoseok grinned as he leaned against the trunk, his arms crossed over his chest. “I saw Sue come out, how’d everything go?”

“It went good,” you answered.

He uncrossed his arms as you neared, wrapping them around you to bring you against his chest. With a glance through the back windshield, you saw the bouquet of roses carefully placed on the passenger seat.

“Johnny already headed out,” he explained. “Said he figured that you’d want to head on home and that he didn’t live far from here.”

“Ah.” With the paper work still in hand, you carefully hugged Hoseok once more. After weeks of not being in his embrace, it felt like you were overdosing on all the affection you were receiving from him. “You know, you were amazing on stage. Correction, you’re always amazing when you’re dancing.”

He laughed at your compliments but was quick to rapidly kiss your cheek when you pouted up at him, making you giggle in his hold. “I’m just happy that you came. That’s the only thing that matters to me baby.”

If he didn’t already have it, he should add professional at melting hearts on his resume. You tilted your head and stood on your toes, capturing his lips into a sweet kiss. It was like heaven was brought down to Earth, all just for you.

“Ready to go home?” You whispered, leaning back only a smidge so that you could gently run your nose against his.

Hoseok smiled, his lips curling up into a heart as his hands gave your sides a sweet squeeze. He has been wanting nothing more than to go home with you for so long now. Tomorrow, the two of you could finish signing the paperwork and bring it to the courthouse. Or maybe even the next day. All he wanted was to sleep in bed and hold you in his arms for the next twenty-four hours.

“Strawberry, you are my home.”

You giggled at his cheesy words, but you treasured them anyway. As you got in the car, the flowers now sitting in Hoseok’s lap, you drove with one hand as he held your other, and you were smiling the entire time.

People were like books. There were twists and turns that caught you off guard, and sometimes you were blind to obvious hints that had been purposely placed to surprise you later on. Then you reached that last page, and it was all over.

With real people, it wasn’t the end of the story, but simply just the end of a chapter. There were more pages than you could see, and so the story, and life, continues on.

And having Hoseok by your side, you were ready for that new chapter.

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ice-cream-nekogirl · 5 years ago

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And you say, "As long as I'm here No one can hurt you Don't wanna lie here But you can learn to If I could change The way that you see yourself You wouldn't wonder why you hear They don't deserve you"

Amy and Madison:

Two of the original coven members… hehe, it’s no surprise that Amy and Madison are very close, or rather, have gotten closer over time.

They’re lesbians and in love XD JK JK lolol but not gonna lie I kinda ship them because I love their friendship since Amy is a wild child and Madison is a stone-cold bitch but they love each other so much... haha... hell Todoroki outright thought that Amy and Madison were in love with each other, but because neither of them are straight, they really didn’t mind the confusion.

In all seriousness though, they’re partners in crime, literally they commit several crimes together, whether it’s shoplifting, smoking weed or just causing mayhem and hilarious pranks in UA, they’re partners, witch sisters and also good partners in battle and combat. Not to mention they are called ‘The Sin Sisters’ because they’re so good together when it comes to doing... bad things... XD Amy’s best friends Ashlen and Shinsou don’t always approve of their antics but are aware of how close they are, and Madison isn’t above hanging out with Ashlen and Shinsou since they’re Amy’s best friends.

Although Madison also isn’t above actually giving Amy real help, or, her idea of real help, but her intentions ARE good she DOES want to help Amy with her progress of becoming a hero and personal demons and cares for her like an actual sister. And Amy does love Madison very much despite how cruel and bitchy she can be, and always tries to see the best in her. It’s been a rocky road for these two since they’ve been through quite some ups and downs but Madison is another one of Amy’s best friends and vice-versa.

Amy is probably the only human that Madison, a total narcissist, has any real affection for and claims that she 'loves Amy the most' and is surprisingly loyal towards her as she takes her side no matter what and won’t bat an eyelash to anything she does, moral or not. Likewise, Amy loves Madison with all her heart and will always try and defend and protect her because she knows her and understands her the most since they grew up together in the coven even if it was brief.

But let’s start from the beginning...

After her parents were killed by witch hunters, Amy was relocated out of Japan and shipped off to America, where she met Zoe. And the two witches first entered the coven to have Madison, Nan and Queenie terrify them both by staging a human sacrifice with Madison practically traumatizing an already traumatized Amy by making it look like she was going to stab and kill her new friend Zoe. Although she does try to laugh it off when she discovers that the whole thing was staged.

The first thing Madison noticed about Amy was how young she was compared to the other teenage witches and asked Cordelia why a ‘5 year old’ is here since the coven isn’t a daycare, only for an indignant Amy to reply that she’s 11. Madison wasn’t very fond of Amy because she thought she was way too young and Madison herself isn’t good with handling kids, although she did slightly warm up to her when Amy seemed to recognize Madison as the actress she was and offered her an autograph, much to Amy’s delight as she felt touched by a celebrity.

Madison would later choose Zoe as her designated best friend, and Amy, attached to Zoe, tagged along with them, especially whenever Fiona coldly rebuffed her requests to spend time with her. Amy would gladly go with Madison and Zoe to the frat party despite Amy being seriously underage and the frat party having mainly 19-24 year olds. Zoe was naturally hesitant about letting Amy come with them, but Madison just told Amy to tell people that she’s older than she looked and to not drink anything. Amy stood close to Zoe the entire time but was worried about Madison, and was later proven to be right to worry about her as she found Madison being gang-raped by the frat boys.

Horrified, Amy tried to stop the older guys but the ringleader pushed and kicked her to the ground even and forced the others to shut her up, but thankfully Kyle showed up before the frat boys could further harm her. Amy would then try to comfort Madison along with Zoe, and followed the latter outside to try and find the rapists outside but they arrived too late and drove off in their bus. Although just in time, Madison walked back out to flip the bus and kill all of the frat boys inside, which just added to Amy’s horror but it didn’t stop her from asking Madison and Zoe to go back home.

Amy remained by Zoe and Madison, but when she tried to ask Madison if she felt better the next day she was coldly ignored until Fiona showed up to give them a field trip. Later on, Amy mentions that she could sense Madison’s pain, but decided to not ask her about it because she didn’t want to add anymore pain to her. She remained at her side, even if she got in trouble with Zoe and Madison when Fiona threw all three of them to the wall for nearly exposing their witch heritage to the police. Afterwards, Amy accompanied Madison and Zoe to find Kyle’s body and bring him back to life, when it looked like it failed, Madison fled when a stranger showed up. Worried for Zoe, Amy tried to convince Madison to stay and help her, but Madison, starting to care for her, dragged her away so she wouldn’t get in trouble.

By that time, Madison developed a soft spot for Amy even though she more or less treated her like an annoying older sibling, and in return, Amy started looking up to Madison as an older ‘bad influence’ sister but she was admittedly disturbed by Madison’s lack of empathy when Kyle died. Although she did take Madison’s words into consideration when she recalled that Kyle was still one of the frat boys. Nonetheless, Amy was distraught when she thought Madison might be dead as she worked with Zoe to try and find out what happened to her when Nan and Queenie weren’t up for it, and risked her life to find her. Amy also panicked when she found out that Fiona was the one who killed Madison, and suffered a breakdown when they found Madison’s rotting corpse, but she was elevated when Misty and Zoe brought her back.

Madison, changed by her first death and unable to feel anything physical, is much crueler to Amy than she used to be, and Amy is heartbroken when Madison rebuffed her each time. However, even with this attitude change, Madison still retained some care for Amy, she just wasn’t interested in bothering with her. Amy, alone, decided to find out some things about herself especially when Zoe was preoccupied with a newly-resurrected Kyle. As she befriended and became close to Misty, Madison started to become jealous, and showed it by being mean to Amy. After Madison kills Misty (out of fear that she was the next Supreme) wondered if Amy could be the next Supreme, but ultimately came to the conclusion that she couldn’t do anything to physically harm Amy so she doesn’t do anything to hurt her.

It didn’t stop her from being cruel to her though, as she insulted and belittled Amy for a majority of the time, even when the coven was in danger as Madison thought that Amy should learn to take care of herself and find her own way back home whenever she gets lost. As a result, Amy’s respect for Madison dissipates as she starts to insult her, and also laughed at her when Misty came back from the dead to beat the other witch up. During the test of the Seven Wonders, Madison instantly thought Amy wouldn’t be able to pass any of them but was surprised that Amy made it all the way to Vitalum Vitalis, but unfortunately she failed that part of the test along with Queenie. Madison later mocked and taunted Amy, and the distraught girl shouted and begged for her to bring Zoe back to life but she cruelly refused and told her to ‘get over it’, much to Amy’s horror as she lost her respect and admiration for the older witch.

Despite that broken pedestal, Amy still wept and grieved for Madison when Cordelia, Queenie and a newly revived Zoe found out that she had died. With Amy even making a memorial for her because while Madison was a bitch to them, Amy still saw her as a sister who had gone through a lot. Madison would later appear in Amy’s dreams as she did miss her quite terribly even though she treated her badly.

5 years later is when Madison would eventually meet up with Amy again, as her soul was freed from hell by Michael Langdon, the Anti-Christ, and Cordelia assigned Madison to watch over Amy in Japan while she was training and studying at UA Academy. Amy was shocked, amazed and also heartfelt to see Madison again, but then the anger also came back as Amy did not forget that Madison was horrible to her and the last thing they did before meeting her again and wasn’t very happy to see her. Nonetheless, Amy was relieved to have at least another witch in Japan and did admit that she missed Madison, who was oddly touched but annoyed when Amy hugged her as the two of them started to share the same mansion that once belonged to Fiona. Amy cheerfully told Madison that it’s pretty much their home and Fiona can’t tell them what to do anymore, much to Madison’s delight.

Madison however, seemed like she was back to her old ways as she encouraged Amy to poison Endeavor with something that would humiliate him but Amy refused much to her disappointment. But Amy is taken by surprise when Madison comes to her rescue when she and Bakugo are kidnapped by the League of Villains, while Bakugo was rescued by her classmates, Madison snuck into the fray to rescue Amy when she was knocked out by debris. Madison would comfort a shell-shocked Amy and proved to be capable of being emotionally supportive to her as the younger witch was visibly traumatized by this event and especially when she felt that her classmates were mainly trying to rescue Bakugo and not her.

The older witch comforted her by telling her ‘witches look after witches’ and Amy would agree with that sentiment, but especially after Midoriya beats Overhaul and discovers how the pro-heroes took in and cared for Eri, something that they never did for Amy.

Pissed off by this revelation, Madison angrily called out the pro-heroes and Aizawa for not bothering to care for another traumatized girl when she needed it, but could clearly take care of the one they just rescued and accused them of prejudice. Aizawa claimed that it wasn’t the case at all, but Madison didn’t believe him and told him to go to hell. Madison continued to support Amy and take her side as she reassured Amy the entire-time, and did nothing to stop her when the young witch went berserk under the stress of this new information and attacked UA.

Madison outright told Amy that she was right for doing so because it wasn’t fair that she couldn’t be taken in by the much more affectionate pro-heroes and instead was forced to suffer under Fiona’s neglectful care and be put into a situation that made Amy constantly feel like she was going to die due to the Voodoo witches and witch hunters attacking the coven daily. As Madison can understand Amy’s pain of feeling abandoned and the fact that she was with Amy every moment where the coven was in danger. Amy, seeking any validation and comfort, tearfully vented to Madison about how unfair everything felt and how much pain she felt from Midoriya’s rejection and the older witch expressed how much she had changed by comforting and hugging the young witch.

Madison: Witches look after witches Amy. Okay?

Amy: ... kay...

However, Madison later took Amy on a wild bender of partying and shoplifting after Amy quit UA, which forced Shinsou, Midoriya, Bakugo, Todoroki and Iida to find them and bring them back. While they were successful, Amy coldly pushed them away and told them that she isn’t going back to school and is going back to the coven, much to Madison’s delight who kept pushing her to go through with it. But a distraught Shinsou and an irritated Bakugo both managed to get through to her and convince her to stay in Japan. Amy did choose to stay, but she also remained in her mansion for several months in isolation with Madison to keep her company with Shinsou acting as a loyal visitor while she recovered.

In this original timeline, Amy would later come out of her isolation though when she found out that the coven was in danger because of Michael’s rise to his status as the Anti-Christ and ran back to America to protect and fight for the coven. Madison helped Behold Chablis find answers about Michael while Amy regained her senses and helped Cordelia, Zoe, Queenie, Mallory, Coco and a revived Myrtle Snow to protect the other witches. As Madison returned, the witches believed that they had a fighting chance with the new information about Michael, but unfortunately the enraged Anti-Christ later attacked Robichaux and killed almost all of the witches, including Zoe and Queenie, with only Cordelia, Myrtle, Mallory, Coco, Amy and Madison as the only survivors.

Madison comforted Amy as she was distraught and traumatized by the deaths of her sister’s and the destruction of their souls, as Cordelia gave her, Mallory and Coco the task of hiding until the time was right. As the apocalypse occurred, Amy was prepared to fight back as she regained her memory and identity back, but was shocked to see that Cordelia also had her friends from UA to help them fight too. Madison further showed how much she loved Amy as she was one of the many witches that she willingly sacrificed her life for, but her sacrifice was not in vain as Amy and Mallory were able to go back in-time to prevent the apocalypse and redeem Michael.

In the new timeline, Madison is once more revived by Michael, but at Amy’s request as Madison returns to be Amy’s partner-in-crime as the events that happened to her at UA still played out, but without the end of the world looming over their heads. As Amy returned to her months of isolation, Madison remained at her side and continued to do everything she could to comfort her, along with an annoyed Shinsou. Madison often competed with Shinsou over caring for Amy, but Shinsou rightfully called her a bad influence because of all the shitty things Madison encouraged Amy to do, and because Madison secretly knew he was right, often forced him to slap himself.

Wanting Amy to feel good, Madison encouraged her to indulge in her worst impulses and brought her whatever she wanted and encouraged her to do whatever she wanted if it meant making herself feel better. Although this made Amy somewhat crueler as whenever Amy is with Madison she becomes more of a bitch because she wants to impress her. Yet, Amy was aware that their friendship wasn’t really healthy, but because Madison made Amy feel validated, loved and not once judged her for anything bad that she did Amy clung to her and regarded her as one of her closest friends.

Despite being a bad influence on Amy a majority of the time, Madison also had some positive influence on Amy as she enabled Amy to feel more comfortable in her body and gave her lewd and revealing outfits to wear, and allowing Amy to embrace her sexuality. Amy’s confidence in herself started to bloom and she decided to not let any remarks from the nastier girls get her down and Madison told Amy that she’s better than everyone else. she had completely forgiven Madison for all she had done as she saw that being in Hell truly did change Madison.

Overtime it became clear that Madison’s love for Amy was her only redeeming trait as she did everything she could to make sure that Amy was happy, and while she didn’t approve of Amy going to intern with Endeavor she did tell her to ‘kick ass’. Madison was horrible to Amy’s classmates whenever she met one, as she felt that they added to Amy’s pain and had no problem pranking them or being cruel to them. This showed that Madison became rather protective of Amy as she was tired of seeing Amy cry because of the pain she felt from people, whether it was from Fiona, Aizawa, Midoriya or the pro-heroes.

As a result, Madison would later treat Aizawa with the utmost disrespect because she felt that he had abandoned her friend and bullied Midoriya because he broke her heart. In fact, Madison also admitted to herself that while she hated Fiona for killing her, she hated her even more for hurting Amy.

Madison was also jealous of Amy’s other friends, as she and Shinsou would constantly butt heads until Amy told them to get along, but her jealousy grew whenever she was being cared for by Mallory or Misty. Although Madison did express fondness for Todoroki and Kaminari because she thought they were good to her, and she and Bakugo immediately became enemies because they despised each other’s attitudes. Madison knew that Amy was falling for Bakugo and she often tried to stray her away from him and deliberately sabotaged some of their moments because not only was she worried that Amy would forget about her, but also because she didn’t think Bakugo would ever be good enough for Amy. Showing that while Madison is somewhat clingy to Amy, she’s mostly protective of her. And this shows when she reluctantly acts as an intern for Aizawa to shadow and assist him in the Hero Course for the sake of making sure Amy is safe, while also keeping the other students safe because Madison knows Amy cares about them.

Her jealousy would later reach it’s ultimate high when Amy met and befriended Ashlen online, as Madison frequently told her not to trust people on the internet, but Amy was too invested and having too much fun with her new friend, much to Madison’s dismay. Rather than giving the girl a chance, when Ashlen first arrives, Madison is hostile and rude to her from the get-go and likewise Ashlen doesn’t put up with her nonsense and tells her off every time Madison is rude to her. As Ashlen has had experience with girls like Madison, she knows how to fight back, including when Madison attempted to use her powers on her. Fuming by Amy and Ashlen’s budding friendship and closeness, Madison would bitterly keep these feelings to herself and only express them by acting like a bitch to both the girls or causing trouble for them, although she did admit that Ashlen is fun to mess with.

This doesn’t mean that Madison liked her though, as when Amy and Ashlen’s differences start becoming more apparent and when Amy starts feeling bad about how different they are, Madison quickly swoops in and takes Amy away to take her on another trip of hedonism. Only this time, Shinsou accompanies them and makes sure they do harmless activities such as going to the movie theater for 5 hours before Madison later took Amy home. Madison went so far as to convince Amy that she’s better for her and repeated that witches look out for witches, which made a distraught Amy agree for a moment. Showing that while Amy is aware that it’s not the best decision, she’d rather feel a quick sense of comfort from Madison over facing her fears again to avoid feeling pain again.

At least until Ashlen later visited Amy after 3 days of ghosting and the two of them were eventually able to settle their differences and Ashlen would prove her love for Amy even when the latter was on the verge of another nervous breakdown and even when she tried to push her away she didn’t leave her. Madison tried to push Ashlen away and get her to leave Amy alone, but Ashlen didn’t budge until she got to talk to her friend even if she was being difficult and trying to push her away. As the girls eventually have a heart-to-heart and make up, Madison is angry and hurt and leaves the mansion.

The next day, in her anger Madison has something a temper tantrum that creates a seismic earthquake that rattles the school and the dorms and she viciously attacks Ashlen, Shinsou and Bakugo, but Amy and Aizawa got her to stop before she shook the school any longer or harmed anyone else. And when Aizawa gets her to stop she spits his face and threatens to tell Cordelia and it forced Amy to quickly intervene. She begs for her to stop but Madison angrily storms off and ignored her as Amy rushes to Ashlen and Bakugo’s aid.

Although she does admit that she needs to stop Madison before she does anything worse to the school as Madison had been secretly considering maiming every single person in the school out of spite and envy. That night, Madison (whom had already knocked out all of the teachers) starts aggressively harming the other students as well as the students of 2-A but kept herself hidden to stir up the chaotic fear.

Amy immediately steps in, knowing she’s done something as the two witches butt heads once more, they get into a very brutal and magical fight. Incensed, Madison angrily confronts Amy for being so close to Shinsou and Ashlen but has somehow ‘ignored’ her and how she’d been there for her, but Amy defends her new friend which enrages Madison into attacking her sister and damages the Heights Alliance in the process as they take the fight outside.

Madison: When those assholes abandoned you, when your so-called friends didn’t even bother to rescue you from the wannabe villains, when they ignored you while you were hurting, when the fucking ‘heroes’ took in that pathetic little street urchin while you got stuck with Fiona, when that green-haired loser dumped you because he couldn’t handle you, when EVERYONE in this fucking place left you all alone, when you needed someone to vent to about all the shit you went through to, who was there for you Amy?! Who was there to make you feel good?! Who got you to forget about all of that shit?! Who made you say ‘fuck it’ and show all of those motherfuckers that you matter?! ME! And you’re going to take their side?! I was there for you! I made you feel good! I’ve been with you since the coven! You owe me!

Amy: I know you were there! But it wasn’t just you! They were there for me too! They’ve been there for me too! I know... the pro-heroes suck and hurt me in ways I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive them for... my mom trusted them to take care of me, she trusted him... but they didn’t... just gave me away to strangers... I know that, I’ve been living with it ever since my parents died. I’ve been hurt you’re not wrong Maddy. You’re right, everything you said is right, but making other people hurt isn’t right! They’re my friends! They’ve been there for me just like you! They love me too they know when I’m hurting! They still love me... even when I’m the one who ends up hurting them... And I don’t want them to hurt anymore! I don’t want to be like that anymore! I can’t always help it but I’m trying...! They’re helping me! They’re helping me stop the hurting! And I know you’re hurting too so please... stop this...

As the two witches fight and their battle gets several classmates injured, Amy would make sure to get innocents out of the way and keep them safe from Madison’s rage. And Ashlen and Shinsou rush forth to try and stop anymore possible damage from occurring and hopefully rescue Amy. But as Amy and Madison continued to clash, their powers trigger a thunderstorm of raging wind and rain that creates all sorts of damage that threaten the students. Forcing the remaining students to retreat and hide in the safezone, but Ashlen and Shinsou nonetheless stood outside in hopes to stop the two witches from fighting.

During the fight, Amy starts gets troubling flashbacks of the following year where Midoriya did the same to her and Madison uses this to her advantage to force her off and use her Concilium on Amy to hurt her.

As she attacked the younger witch and listened to her pained shouts, Madison holds back her tears and reluctantly ceases her attack, and calmly tells her that the pro-heroes are better off gone and that they will never accept witches like them. Amy agrees but still begs for her to leave her classmates alone because she knows that they’re good people and that while she has known Madison longer, she loves Ashlen too because she can connect to her.

Madison, no longer having the energy to fight, claims that she’s going to trigger an earthquake to shake the entire school grounds and the dorms and then burn it all to the ground. Which forces Amy to use her ‘secret weapon’ and she starts crying in front of Madison, and the tearful, older witch breaks down in annoyance and guilt as she embraces Amy.

Amy: My God Mads... you really thought ahead of this didn’t you? The teachers are all knocked out, even innocent students. I know what you’re planning, I can feel it in your rage... if you do this you’re going to kill everyone and everything here... this will... no it’ll ruin the friendship our coven made with the heroes. You’ll have even more blood on your hands... of adults, kids like us, even younger than us...

Madison: As if there wasn’t blood already on them already, we’re used to it. Don’t act so noble Ames, we’ve killed plenty of people because we’re above this moral shit that the heroes try to pin on us. Besides it doesn’t matter, a few thousand so-called ‘heroes’ in the world isn’t bad, a few less cogs in society isn’t bad either. Let’s face it, witches were never going to fit in this place, they already got you under the impression that they give a shit about us. How many times do you have to get hurt to see that these people don’t care about you dumbass? Do I need to drill it in your head or something?

Amy: (sighs) Madison... please... you can’t... Sisters don’t do this, sisters don’t hurt each other’s loved ones. Ashlen, Hitoshi, Katsuki, Denki, Izuku, Shoto, even Tenya and Mr. Aizawa... I love them... don’t you get that? I love them too, I love them like I love you too, but... you can’t... you can’t hurt them.You can’t hurt Ashlen or Hitoshi... they’re my friends... my best friends and I love them... I love them so much... I’m guilty you know? Of hurting innocent people, of hurting my own friends... and people who didn’t do anything to deserve it but... I’m trying to work on that, still trying to work on forgiveness, and... you can too... with me.

Madison: (she holds her hands up in preparation to shake the school) Innocent my ass. These pro-heroes are just douches in suits and that’s that and the rest of these brats are guilty by association. They deserve it.

Amy: (eyes quiver as she looks in horror before she takes a deep breath and looks a mix of resigned and depressed) Well then... you forced my hand... I guess you’re just going to be the world’s worst sister again... going to hurt someone I love again... I loved you Madison... even when you were the biggest bitch on the planet I loved you, I never stopped loving you... even now... even when you’re going to hurt everyone else I love, I’ll still love you... no matter how much you hurt me... (tears start to well in her eyes, looking up at her pleadingly)

Madison: Amy... no... don’t... (she can’t help but look and see the tears streaming down Amy’s face) Stop that! You... stop! (she tears up upon seeing Amy, she can’t go through with it as she falls down to Amy’s height, and tightly hugs her as she cries) You bitch...

Amy: (can’t help but smile triumphantly as she hugs her) There’s my Mads... (she sighs in relief when the fight is over and nobody got seriously hurt)

For all of Madison’s rotten qualities, she ultimately stops because she’s seen Amy cry too many times and while she hated everyone who made her cry, Madison herself doesn’t want to be responsible for making her cry again. As Madison ceases the attack overall, Amy neglects to tell them what Madison had planned as the latter accepts her punishment given to the teachers for attacking the school and spends the month cleaning the entire dorms and fixing all of the damage she caused. From then on out Madison would start to slowly change her attitude towards Amy’s friends.

While she never loses her vulgarity or penchant for mischief, she starts becoming friendlier to Ashlen, even making amends to her by helping Amy help her in her relationship with Shinsou and even inviting her to go shopping with her and Amy and being kinder to the students and being more helpful and somewhat more respectful to Aizawa and doing favors for him. Eventually Ashlen and Madison DO become friends, while it was for Amy’s sake, Madison eventually admitted that she saw why Amy liked Ashlen. Although Madison does tell Ashlen to take care of Amy because she ‘means the world to her’.

It’s a complicated relationship really, Madison and Amy don’t have the healthiest friendship, but the love is undeniable and because of that love, they continue to work through it and try to make their friendship healthier as Madison warms up to Amy’s other friends because she wants her to be happy. And vice-versa, Amy is ecstatic to see Madison doing better in life and how she seems happier than she used to in the coven, and is just glad that she has one of her sisters there with her and her best friends Ashlen and Shinsou.

#ahs #ahs coven #american horror story #american horror story coven #madison montgomery #ahs madison #amy martinez #witches #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha oc #bnha oc

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youngbugandtonystank · 6 years ago

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Just saw FFH

This contains spoilers and I don’t recommend reading if you haven't seen the movie. I’ll only talk about irondad and my opinion on the film.

I tagged this as ‘’ffh spoilers’’.

Last warning. This contains spoilers.

1. Peter is overwhelmed. Throughout this film, you can see this kid is totally overwhelmed over the fact that everyone expects him to be the ‘next iron man’ and I can see why Peter is overwhelmed. Tony’s face is everywhere. On ads, on walls, on everything. And for me, Peter is still in denial. He’s trying to distract himself with other stuff.

2. ‘’uneasy lies the head that wears the crown’’ adfjlhfksdl Tony told Fury to tell Peter this because Peter wouldn’t get that (more confirmation they spent time together between hoco and iw) because of a Star Wars (nerds asdfghj) reference. I don’t know anything about Star Wars so If anyone could explain this that would be great.

3. Tony left the glasses for Peter with an A.I. called ‘’E.D.I.T.H.’’ She is Tony Stark's multi-million augmented reality security and defensive zone specifically made for Peter because he trusted him. Peter now has access to all of Tony’s protocols and Stark global security network and multiple defense satellites and backdoors to all major telecommunication networks. The amount of trust Tony had on Peter is so heartbreaking. He was ready to coach him through life and everything. He addressed the card to Peter with ‘’To the next Tony Stark. I trust you’’. I just want to say, everyone is pressuring Peter to be the ‘’next iron man’’ and there’s Tony, saying ‘’the next Tony Stark’’.

4. Peter’s little smile when EDITH explains what her name means (Even Dead I’m The Hero). He knows Tony too well.

5. Tony trusted Peter SO DAMN MUCH. Remember in Homecoming, in the Ferry scene where Tony tells Peter; ‘’Everyone else said I was crazy to recruit a 14-year-old kid’’? Well, one of the people who told Tony he was crazy for trusting Peter was Fury. Fury scolded Peter and said: ‘’I told him, it’s clear to me that you are not ready for EDITH.’’ I’m going to be honest, I love Fury a lot but in this part, I wanted to punch him, this kid just lost his father figure, give him a break.

6. ‘’Stark chose you, he made you an Avenger, I mean that; the world means that’’. ‘He chose you’. ‘Was he?’ Peter was crying in here. And I was crying here too.

7. Well, the first time I heard Peter say ‘’Mr. Stark’’ since Endgame and his voice cracks. And my heart too. And Mysterio telling Peter he looks stupid with the glasses, I going to throw hands with you, Beck. And Peter giving the glasses to Beck, bad move Pete.

8. Peter thinking Tony gave him the glasses for him to choose the next Tony Stark and not believing for one second that the glasses are meant for him really hurts. Tony died too soon. Peter needed his father figure and mentor with him and he lost him in the worst way possible.

9. I might be wrong but did I hear Peter call Tony, ‘’Stark’’? And he mentions he’s 16, I thought that the gap between IW and HOCO was two years? So how is it possible he’s 16 if he was 15 in Homecoming? Maybe they made a mistake, just like in Homecoming with the timeline. This happens when a movie is so secretive (Endgame and Infinity War) that almost no one knows anything about it.

10. And YES Beck, Tony was right. You’re unstable. Using a 16-year-old grieving kid for your revenge is low. And also, the scene with the ‘’I hate Tony Stark™’’ club is really funny lol, all of them look like anti stans on Twitter lmao

11. Have you guys read those ‘interns meet Peter’ fics? Well, those are a reality now because there’s a scene where the entire ‘’anti-club™’’ show their jealousy toward Peter. They’re not interns but ex-stark industries employees but you get the concept. You can tell Peter was Tony’s son lmao he treated him as such and this movie confirmed this even more for me. The way the ‘’anti-club™’’ was talking about Peter tells me Tony talked about him a lot.

12. ‘’If you were good enough, maybe Tony would still be alive’’. Fuck :'(

13. The Iron Man suit coming out of the grave to haunt Peter. :'(

14. Ok, the train part was wild. A train just ran over Peter and I just-. Damn Marvel, I knew it. Now that Tony is not available they’re going to torture Peter forever.

15. ‘’I MISS HIM’’ My heart can’t take this.

16. ‘’You’re not Iron Man, you’re never going to be Iron Man, no one can live up to Tony, not even Tony. He is my best friend and he was a mess, he second-guessed everything, he was all over the place. The one thing he never second-guessed? Picking you. I don't think Tony would've done what he did if he didn't know you were gonna be here after he was gone’’. KILL ME. I cried.

17. HAPPY WATCHING PETER IN A VERY NOSTALGIC WAY BECAUSE PETER REMINDS HIM OF TONY.

18. PETER WORKING WITH MUSIC JUST LIKE TONY. PETER WORKING WITH MUSIC JUST LIKE TONY. PETER WORKING WITH MUSIC JUST LIKE TONY. PETER WORKING WITH MUSIC JUST LIKE TONY. PETER WORKING WITH MUSIC JUST LIKE TONY.

19. You’re going to cry watching Peter work JUST like Tony on the plane. I expect thousands of parallels of this ok?

20. Someone finally wondering why Peter disappears every single time. lol

21. ‘’I’m in love with spiderman’s aunt’’... Happy omg.

I think they should’ve included something like a conclusion to Tony’s arc with Peter at the end but they didn’t, so I’m guessing they have more plans for Peter and Tony’s relationship. I’m glad, they should continue the relationship by having little reminders in Peter’s life. And like I said, I feel like Peter is still processing Tony’s death and he’s going to need time to do that. He figured he was worth it of continuing with Tony’s legacy but he needs time to process all of his grief and that’s going to take a while. I hope we see more of this in the third film.

#ffh spoilers #spoilers #tony stark spoilers #peter parker spoilers #don't read if you haven't seen the movie #SPOILER ALERT #irondad spoilers

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yukiwrites · 5 years ago

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Byleth, Focusing

Thanks for the support as always, @xpegasusuniverse! I was emotional while writing this, I hope you like it! ;o;)

Summary: The enemy had come unnanounced, taking everything Byleth ever had in his life -- his father, Jeralt. Shaken by grief, Byleth’s resolve in hunting down his and Sothis’ sworn enemies keeps him going as he reads through his father’s diary and discovers the truth about the Stone within his heart...

Commission info HERE and HERE!

______________________________

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15

Byleth himself carried Jeralt's body back to the monastery.

No stretchers. No help from his fellow mercenaries. No.

He would carry his Father.

One last time.

... For the first time.

Long had Jeralt carried Byleth -- the burdens of a lifetime; secrets buried deep within the mind, away from any prying eyes, protected at the cost of a nomad life... And the only thing Byleth could do in return was make sure to bury his father beside his Mother.

The raindrops fell heavily on the Professor's shoulders, the water seeping into his very bones, chilling the soul. Sothis' apologies had died down with the passing of the hours, her voice sounding farther and farther away as it did.

Was he shutting her out or was she giving him space? Byleth couldn't say for certain.

He could barely feel a thing under his cold fingertips, the memories of loss spiralling in and out of his mind, mingling with Sothis'.

Byleth squeezed his eyes shut as he knelt by the muddy grave, uncaring of any spectators who'd come to give their farewells to Jeralt.

His tears were warm -- a painful reminder of his status as a living being, as opposed to the frozen feeling of his limbs. "That darkness... It was familiar." He clenched his fist, his hoarse voice deafened by the heavy rain around him.

Sothis flinched inside his mind, materializing beside him. "You don't mean-"

Byleth nodded minimally, anger so deeply carved into his expression one would never be able to call him 'Ashen Demon' again for his eyes shone in a fierce blue. "You told me not to take on a millennia-old fight, but the fight came to me instead."

Sothis opened and closed her mouth. She couldn't even tell him that the path of vengeance was wrong -- as she was aware that many would -- because she, too, fell victim of those who abandoned the light from aboveground. So had her children. History had to be rewritten to push the villains into oblivion, yet there they were again, intent on making everyone's lives a living hell.

"I'll fight." Byleth could feel Sothis' conflict, but he himself was resolute. "They'll pay." He clutched his chest, almost as though he could dig his hand into it and touch Sothis' core directly.

The goddess simply lowered her head somberly, placing one ethereal hand on Byleth's shoulder. "Let us both fight together." Her voice echoed as the rain fell through her.

I may not be much with these limited powers, she thought melancholy, however, I may have an idea to enhance them in you instead...

Byleth let out a bitter smile, knitting his brow together so as to keep himself from sobbing. "You weren't at fault... I'm sorry I said all of that," he said in a small voice, barely over a whisper. Rain thundered about, muffling his words to all but the one who dwelled in his mind. "But... thank you, my friend."

Honestly, Byleth didn't remember how or when he went back to his room that night. The next few days blended together as though the simple passing of time was enough to make him dizzy, his mind struggling to process the loss.

The only interaction he had -- and needed -- was Sothis' voice and comforting embrace in their shared mindscape. As a mother, her grief was fundamentally different from Byleth's, who had lost a parent, but they both could find solace in one another's pains and coping mechanisms.

Once Byleth felt well enough to stand, he headed straight to Jeralt's room, not caring to seek out anyone in his path -- actively or inadvertently ignoring anyone who got remotely close to his chosen route.

Opening the door to Jeralt's study all at once was a mistake -- Byleth was slapped in the face with his father's scent, making him clench his jaw and hesitate more than a few moments to take the first step inside. One would think that with the little amount of time Jeralt spent in his room wouldn't be enough to left such significant impression, but that clearly wasn't the case.

Jeralt was in every nook and cranny of that battered room. He was a neat man, so the furniture was kept clean and tidy, as were his personal objects.

Byleth's chin trembled as he stepped inside, forcing him to take a moment to recompose himself by leaning on a nearby bookshelf.

Sothis patted his head mentally, taking it upon herself to look around in Byleth's stead. "Over there- are you well enough to move? That book way over there, hidden at the highest corner of the shelf- can you see it? Mayhap it contains something?"

"I see it." Byleth blinked slowly, looking up to the book Sothis was pointing to. He unceremoniously stepped on an expensive-looking chair to reach it, not bothering to look for a stool.

The moment he touched the old-looking book, something threatened to fall out of it, triggering Byleth's reflex of catching it before it did.

It was a ring.

His Mother's ring.

"Oh..." Byleth croaked out, gripping at the delicate ornament before stuffing it into his pocket. Sothis simply waited in silence for Byleth to compose himself, leaning her ethereal head on his shoulder.

Sniffling, the Professor managed to push down the lump in his throat enough to speak. "This- looks to be Dad's diary. I saw him writing on it from time to time when I was a kid."

"His handwriting is prettier than his face would suggest," Sothis blurted out as Byleth opened the book. "Why, those entries right at the beginning- they’re well before your birth! The courting of your mother, his love for her..." She said fondly, reaching out to the yellowed pages as though she could touch them. "What a beautiful love it must've been."

Byleth couldn't even nod, the rush of emotions he felt as he read the loving way his father talked about his mother taking everything he had. He slid down to sit on the floor, crossing his legs so he could read it and take it all in.

"This part here... Horsebow Moon, year 1159... It's the year of your birth!" Sothis urged Byleth to turn the pages faster. "There must be some clue here-"

Byleth frowned as he quickly read the passages, Sothis' voice echoing the words inside his mind. "Rhea..."

"Your father had been wary of her from day one, that much is true. So his suspicions hailed from an even farther past..."

For all that was written in the diary, apart from Rhea's odd behavior, it simply looked as though she placed the Crest Stone into Byleth's heart to save him from a certain death -- something Sothis knew her daughter would do, at least back in the day.

Was that truly the only reason? Would that Rhea, the child who was the most attached to Herself, give away Sothis' own heart to a random child from one of the Knights?

... Sothis wanted to say, without hesitation, that she would. She desperately wanted to say that the selfless duckling that always followed her around would simply be just as nice as that.

But she hesitated. She didn't have the confidence to say it, not after reading the diary and remembering how Rhea behaved while she was donning the alias of Seiros.

Byleth, on the other hand, seemed convinced, if not pleased, with the simple conclusion -- at least for the time being. As he got up from the floor, Sothis' mouth moved before she could control it.

"Where are you going? Aren't you going to read the rest?"

"Mhm," Byleth nodded, stuffing the book into the inner pocket of his coat. "I'll keep this for the time being, but I figured Hanneman and Manuela should know of this development... I did say I'd keep them posted on my conversation with Dad, after all."

"You foolish child. You know there's no need to honor that promise right now. Let yourself grieve."

Byleth shook his head as he looked around his father's study one last time before stepping out of it. "This IS my way to grieve." He closed the door with a soft click, leaning his head on the hard wood for a good moment. "Besides, if I go back to my room right now, I'll probably just head straight to Rhea and ask her all about this. I need Hanneman and Manuela to hold me back." He barked a bitter laugh, stealing a stifled giggle from Sothis, as well as a good-natured slap on his back.

She looked down as Byleth started walking. "For the record, I do not think you should talk to her, either."

"I know." Byleth nodded. He had felt his mindmate's hesitation back then, which also spurred his urge in going to talk with Rhea. But he wouldn't. He would listen to his friend's pleas this time around -- he had caused her enough grief already.

Sothis pressed her lips into a thin line, torn between smiling fondly and frowning deeply. Moved by her friend's attentiveness and selflessness in the situation he was in at the moment, she couldn't help but feel rather selfish. Was she protecting her child from an uncertain future? There was no way to know Rhea's true intentions without talking to her directly, but if the answer was too much for Byleth to handle...

Maybe Sothis was trying to protect the both of them -- the friend she could only make after she died and the child that outlived her. The goddess curled back into the corners of Byleth's mind as he reached Hanneman's office.

The door was open, so there was no need to announce oneself. Hanneman got up from his seat so fast he winced. "Byleth!" He gasped loudly. "Should you be up and about? I wouldn't want you to fall sick at such grievous time..."

Hurried steps sounded from the corridor before they reached the door. Manuela appeared from out of it, quickly running to hold Byleth's shoulders. "So it really was you I caught a glimpse of...!" She pressed her lips into a thin line, never knowing what to say in these kinds of situations. "I am so, so very sorry for your loss, dear Professor."

"Likewise." Hanneman nodded beside his fellow professor, stealing a smile from Byleth's tired lips.

"Thanks, you two. I actually came here to talk about what I found out regarding the Crest Stone-"

"Oh, my!" Manuela slapped Hanneman's shoulder. "Quick, old man, close that door!"

"Right!" Slightly offended from being ordered around, but still complying, Hanneman ran to the entrance to seal it shut. "You shouldn't force yourself, Professor-"

"It was Rhea." He said as he pulled the diary from his pocket. "She put the Stone within my heart."

The temperature in the room dropped rapidly.

"As we theorized, then..." Hanneman frowned, uncharacteristically calm about such a breakthrough. "To think the Children of the Goddess held such immense and frightening power..."

Manuela tilted her head from Hanneman to the book in Byleth's hand, ultimately taking it. "Did your father...?"

"Know about it? No. Write it down? Kind of." Byleth bobbed his head to the sides. "From what he wrote, Rhea had a direct hand in my survival after apparently being born dead. Since we know what lies inside my chest, we can only conclude..."

"... that it was her, yes. But for what purpose?" Hanneman peeked at the diary from over Manuela's shoulder. "Surely not out of the goodness of her heart? Hah!" He sneered, and Byleth felt a pang of pain in his heart -- surely hailing from Sothis herself.

"... Sothis doesn't want me to confront Rhea about this, so I won't go. Although I do think that would be the fastest-"

"Absolutely not!" Manuela and Hanneman said at the same time. "If she has the power to put that thing inside of you, surely she can just as easily take it out should you go against her! Don't let your grief fuel your recklessness, Byleth." Manuela placed the book back in Byleth's hand, purposely not handing it to Hanneman's prying eyes.

The older man hesitated, but decided against asking to read the diary for himself. He wasn't entirely tactless, after all. "I agree with Manuela. Let us first sit down and put all the facts before us..."

#byleth #sothis #hanneman #manuela fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #my writings #yuki's commissions #spoilers

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wardencommanderrodimiss · 6 years ago

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Chapter Thirteen: this sure is a fuckin’ chapter that’s for sure

I drop this on you at 11 pm after nearly two weeks of silence because I have no respect for neither man nor fae nor god

[Beginning] [Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

If he had looked at any of Mia’s books sooner, he would have found that about a fourth of them only look like law books and are, behind the covers, spellbooks or grimoires of fae secrets. And maybe if he had learned that any time before the last year and a half, he would have had time to look through them all, to know if there was anything on the mechanics of selling souls in their depths, and he could have jumped right to that now.

Instead, he’s brought all of them home in three loads and has them stacked up on the floor beside his bed. Grimoires don’t have indexes so he can’t exactly just look up mitamah in the back and jump right to the page. And skimming is difficult with the text size — god, does he need reading glasses? At least he outlasted Edgeworth in that front — so he’s left with a laborious process that feels like law school again. He stole a pack of sticky notes from Trucy’s desk and has marked up several of the books with tabs and folded corners and notes in the margins, things he wants to come back to when he’s not stretched thin between the Jurist System and this.

He is trying to untangle a note in the margin that he didn’t write, that isn’t in Mia’s hand, and when he looks up he doesn’t know how long Trucy has been standing there.

She hasn’t said much to him all day since Apollo and Ema and Clay left, when she took her laptop and her phone and a blanket and curled up in what used to be her hidey-hole beneath what is now Apollo’s desk. When he ducked in on her to tell her to get ready to leave, she said she had been texting Jinxie and pirating anime. Which maybe was distraction enough at the time, but when night and the dark and the quiet press in, is no longer.

He’s wondered when she will allow herself to have a well-deserved breakdown.

He sets the spellbook down. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

She looks eight years old again in the doorway, unsure of what space she was allowed to take up, those moments when the act slipped and she let show an uncertainty of if she was allowed to exist in the household without contributing something positive, her optimism in the office and her Magic Panties and her singing voice at the Wonder Bar. If she was allowed to grieve.

He waits for a question about Magnifi.

She pads across the room and curls up on the bed next to him, her back to his side, her face turned away. “Why did my daddy leave me?” she asks.

Because he was at best a fool, at worst selfish. Because he at best couldn’t see well enough to know the die had already been cast, the cards dealt, and thought if he ran the consequences that he didn’t know had already been marked wouldn’t fall on Trucy’s neck; and he at worst thought to unburden himself of her, to leave her behind to fill the noose. Because he at best couldn’t see at all, and at worst could see enough to think to save himself from being cursed.

Phoenix would like to think the best of people — really, truly he would — but god damn if Zak doesn’t test him in every way possible.

And god damn if he isn’t glad that Trucy came to him before the Gramaryes could do worse to her. Before she could lose her soul and her life, like her mother.

“I think,” Phoenix says, because he doesn’t know, not for sure, got stonewalled by vagueness on one end and by black locks on the other, “that he was trying to keep that diary page safe and out of anyone else’s hands.”

“Ema said that,” Trucy mumbles. “Asked if that was why he hadn’t looked for the map after all these years. But why would he think he had to run and hide from Uncle Valant?”

“Because I don’t think he was running from Valant.”

It’s all supposition, nothing a court of law would accept. A jury might not even accept these conclusions. But it’s all Phoenix has, even after seven years, pieces of guesses and guesses at pieces for the why. “I think that’s why Kristoph wanted to defend him. He wanted the diary page, the map — he wanted Magnifi’s power.”

“That soul,” Trucy says. “The — mia-tamah?”

“Mitamah.”

“Mitamah.” She lets the seconds drag out. “Why didn’t he take me with him?”

Shortsightedly foolish or callously selfish. “Perhaps he thought it would keep you safer,” he answers. He can’t say I think anymore, not knowing what to think, not wanting to plainly lie to Trucy even when she isn’t looking at him. Maybe Zak meant well, maybe. That’s the best Phoenix could say. “That you would be overlooked when not with him, and then when the danger had passed, he could come back.”

If he thought that, he was wrong, on so many levels: running was too little, too late, for Trucy to go ignored. (The devil handed her a diary page and pulled her into his plots.) And after seven years Zak underestimated the length of a grudge, didn’t notice the hound hunting him. (Or he did, and realized he couldn’t escape it stalwart pursual, and thought to bring the diary page home before the jaws closed on his neck. The hunting hound herded her prey to her master’s waiting claws.)

Trucy’s breathing is too soft and shallow for her to be asleep. What is there for either of them to say? He watched Trucy feed a snack to Kristoph’s hound while they waited for the jury’s verdict; she isn’t going to want to know its true purpose, whose necks it has left the mark of fangs in, tempered now only by a new handler of better nature. (Phoenix knows it would be easier to live with not knowing, with not having to face that failure. He doesn’t know how Kristoph kept the hound caged out of Phoenix's sight until Kristoph was clapped in irons.)

“Daddy? If you had to leave me you would tell me why, right?”

If Phoenix had to choose a man to smack upside the head with a wine bottle, he would probably still choose Zak Gramarye.

“I’m not going to leave you, Trucy, ever. I promised I won’t disappear and I mean it.” She curls a little tighter into herself and sniffs audibly. “I know you are safest with me, here, with Mia.” This line of reassurance doesn’t seem to be working as well as he hoped. “But if - if anything were to happen, then, yes, I would make sure you knew why.”

She rolls over, eyes filled with tears. “Why wouldn’t he just give the soul back before he died?” she asks. “That’s not right, that’s not fair, to keep it! To take it at all!”

She can’t be at peace with what happened with Zak, not by a long shot, but there’s still too much else for her to grapple with, all at once, and still the more that she doesn’t know. His heart breaks for her. “Oh, sweetheart, I know. It’s not.”

She rubs her eyes with the back of her hand. “I wanted to be like him, and now I don’t know anything. I don’t know what anything is!” She sniffles loudly and looks away again. “I don’t even know if I want to be a magician anymore. Not when magic is all just taking things that aren’t yours!”

Not quite all — she knows that. She knows Mia. She doesn’t know quite the depth of what Mia saved Phoenix from — he doesn’t want to scare her — but she knows that Mia took nothing, gave Phoenix life that he wouldn’t have had.

But Mia was always one-of-a-kind, in every way.

And Phoenix—

He stares at the grimoire balanced on his legs. He’s no magician — but he can at least try to give something back.

Give back a soul, and to two kids, give back their mother.

Vera is released from the hospital in the morning and Phoenix sends Trucy off with twenty dollars to get her lunch — “Not Eldoon’s; she needs to go easy on the salt” — and bring it over to her house so that she isn’t left alone in it for the first time in her life. And this they have in common: Kristoph Gavin killed their fathers, and they escaped his claws to be left adrift.

(Phoenix has taken in two Kristoph-made strays and is gunning for two more.)

And Phoenix, having made a phone call early that morning, sits on the stoop of the office and waits for a taxi to pull up to the curb. Lamiroir — Thalassa — is either name truly hers? — isn’t using a cane, and he wonders how she has been getting along since Machi’s arrest. There wasn’t time enough with the jury for him to assess that, and Edgeworth, after Phoenix made the mistake of lending him the magatama, treated her like she was a quarantine zone.

“Good morning, Lamiroir,” he calls, rising to meet her and offering her his arm to guide her up the steps and into the office. He had forgotten to clean up the floor, but the job has been done for him - and all of the mess, Trucy’s textbooks and stage props and two stray pairs of shoes and a half-eaten bag of chips, has been piled onto Phoenix’s desk.

He deserves that, really.

“Mr Wright, if this is not, as you said, about the trial,” Lamiroir says, lowering herself onto the couch with regal poise that shames Phoenix into squaring his shoulders even though she can’t see him, “then what is it you wish of me?” She turns her face toward him. Her eyes don’t look empty. “This is not, is it, about me?”

“Yeah, it is,” Phoenix says. He leans against the arm of the couch for a moment. “How did you figure that?”

“It is…” She closes her eyes. Her fingers toy with the bracelet on her wrist, the match to Apollo’s. “Whenever we spoke, as the jury, you seemed expecting more of me. As though you knew more of me and what I am supposed to know. Something of the trial was supposed to speak to my memory?” She smiles sadly. “It did not.”

“I did hope it might jog something loose,” Phoenix says. “I do have more than that, now. I think — I think I can help you.”

Or hurt her. How much less painful must it be, to have forgotten?

The mitamah is locked in the bottom drawer of his desk, the one where he usually keeps his magatama (though more often now he just leaves it unlocked so Trucy can grab it if the need arises). It is still wrapped, like a gift, in Trucy’s scarf.

Lamiroir knows before he hands it to her — she gasps, her eyes going wide and their gray depths paling to blue. She reaches up and he puts her soul into her trembling hands.

It is lightning, instantaneous, and her next gasp turns into a shudder and a sob and she pulls the mitamah close to her, pressing it against her chest and curling in over herself. Phoenix sits on the couch, leaving space in between them, but moments later she fills it, her soul clasped in her hands and her head against his shoulder to sob. He doesn’t know how long they sit like that, no sound but her distress; it could have been an hour. For her, it must have been a lifetime.

“Where did you get it?” she asks. Her soft voice still bears her Borginian accent. Phoenix doesn’t know why he expected that to change. “From who?”

“Trucy and Apollo found it,” he says. “Magnifi left a map to ‘the source of his power’ to Zak, and Zak to Trucy.”

Thalassa sits back upright, blinking furiously; there are tear tracks glittering on her cheeks, but her appearance is incongruous with the broken, overwhelming sound of her sobs. She looks like an artistic idealized portrait of glamorous grief, and Phoenix is very sure he would see something very different if he had his magatama on him. “Oh Trucy, little Trucy.” She smiles sadly. “She must not be little any more. And Apollo — my Apollo — to find him again — to have them both—” Her chin sinks to her chest. “Do they know?” she asks. “Do they know that this is their mother’s soul they found?”

“They don’t know that they’re siblings, yet,” Phoenix says. Thalassa starts. Her eyes, Sighted-blue, turn accusingly toward him. “First I wasn’t sure if A — if they would believe me. Then you arrived, and I wanted you to know first. To have your memories, and to know…”

“To know it best for their sakes that I stay away,” she says.

That was not exactly how Phoenix was going to finish that sentence.

“Should I enter their lives to bring only grief?” she asks. “For I am a dead woman, am I not?”

“I don’t see any curse on you,” Phoenix says.

She tilts her head. Her eyes are still blue. “Yes, I can see your eyes,” she says, lifting her hand and touching her fingertips to the side of his face. “Your eyes, and the blessings and curses about you. I know so little of you, but I can See you were a favored tool of many of Them.” She lowers her hand to her lap and narrows her eyes. “And you learned from Them, to try and evade. I did not ask you if I am cursed. Perhaps you are used to death being a curse” — she lifts her hand again, not touching him this time, but hovering it near the base of his neck — “this necklace, this noose, you bear, but that is not all there is. You held my soul in your hands. Do not pretend not to know.”

Phoenix says nothing.

“You know I have the same blessing as my daughter’s eyes — you know I see Truth, too. So you did not lie to me. You avoided. I grew up in the twilight; I was a favorite tool, too. Answer me plainly: am I dead?”

He hasn’t looked at her with the Sight today; he doubted anything would have changed, and even then he hasn’t exactly wanted to look at her because makes his eyes sore. But he does now; he watches her light up. Teal diamonds mark her face around her eyes like a domino mask, like the same blessing from the same source as Trucy has, that of Truth, like Phoenix and Apollo also have Truth just a little differently. A roiling royal ocean glows beneath her skin, starlight through her hair. She looks like the robe she wears. She is ethereal, looks fae but for the hollow shape in her sternum of the missing mitamah, a dark space that seems to go in and in and eats up the light that makes her.

And that — no one could mistake her for anything but human, no matter how she glimmers and gleams, no matter the shine emanating from her, not with that glaring empty spot where her human soul should sit.

A soul is only visible when it’s gone.

There are lots of things in the world like that, Phoenix thinks.

Near her left collarbone, just above her heart, the bloody wound looks just as fresh as it must have been when the bullet shattered her a decade ago.

“Yes,” he says. “You are — or you should be.”

She touches her fingertips to the mark. She has likely not ever seen it — the Sight does not work in mirrors — but Phoenix has never seen that which Dahlia branded on him and he still feels where it lies on his own skin. “How strange,” she murmurs, “that it would save my life when he took my soul. And” — her voice is louder now, droll amusement — “how kind of my father to not shatter it when he died.”

“That would have been a pointless waste,” Phoenix says.

“Oh, but things were only valuable if they had use for him. When I had no more use, he discarded me and kept my soul. Perhaps he went soft in his old age — became generous enough to give me away.” She shakes her head. “Would that he had been that kind always, and given me away instead of murdering my first husband.”

Phoenix is lucky he wasn’t holding anything, because it would be on the floor now. As it is, his stomach has fallen through him, out of him, and his tongue into his throat. “He — he murdered—”

Thalassa blinks her eyes shut, slowly. “Oh, no one could prove it. Magnifi” — her face does not twist with the disgust in her voice, her serene, glamorous expression remaining carefully set as though marble — “Magnifi never laid a hand on my Jove, and he did not breathe forth the flames that left me with naught but ash and grief. But he laid the tinder. He laid the curse.”

Phoenix should say something. He really, really should say something.

He opens his mouth and a dry croak emerges.

Well, so much for that.

“You know curses.” Thalassa lays a hand over one of his. Her skin is cold and the chill seeps down into the joints of his fingers. “You live with death. You are blessed, fortunate. Someone saved you. There was no one to save him, the father of my son — we tried to run. We tried to run from the death that we carried with us. And surely you know how that story ends.”

He still can’t say anything but he turns his hand over and squeezes hers. “I tell you this because you know my children better than I do,” she says. “And you should know our family. What they come from. What they are freed from.”

Only to carry with them different kinds of death and grief. Old stories repeat themselves.

“Your first husband — was he human?”

She laughs and sounds surprised at herself, one of her hands coming up to cover her mouth, anything more than perfect dignity unacceptable to present. “You think Apollo isn’t?” she asks. Behind her hand, the corners of her mouth still show, still upturned.

Phoenix shrugs, then realizes she can’t see it. “No, but I also think it’s better to check, if I can trust someone to ask.”

She tilts her head to the side, assessing him. Perhaps it is the word trust that slows her. “Yes, Apollo is human; yes, Jove was human. I met him here, soon after Magnifi and I left the Realm. I had not stood in our mundane world since I was stolen away, you see - I had never tried to leave, never thought myself with something worth bargaining to escape my father. I was… I do not know how old I was when we left. Younger than Apollo is now, surely. A little older than Trucy?” She shakes her head. The light on her hair looks like sunlight instead of the cold fluorescence. “Stunted, just freed from being a child for too long. Jove showed me there was more to life than I had seen in my gilded twilight cage — that I was more.”

Her hand falls to her chest. Her smile fades like a falling feather, drifting slow, the distant wistful fondness thinning into pain she doesn’t hide. He can see the wrinkles at the corners of her mouth where her glamour breaks to make visible the little imperfections that make her more than a statue. “And after,” she says, her nails now digging into Phoenix’s skin, a different sensation than claws he has so often come to expect, “I went back. He killed my husband and I so knew who killed him and I went back.”

She withdraws her hands from his suddenly. “What must you think,” she asks, “that I went back?”

“I’m not going to condemn you,” Phoenix says. “I can’t. Not for being alone in the world and knowing little else, not when he’d stolen you and raised you in a world that wasn’t yours. I’m sorry.”

Does she allow her glamour to drop, or is it too hard to hold? Her cheeks and the tip of her nose are blotchy red, her eyes pink and puffy. “My name was not my own,” she says softly. “‘Gramarye’ is his, and he owned it, and I — what was I? We made a deal, on my return; my soul — my tired, grieving soul that I thought then useless — that he would never harm one I love. That he could never kill or take from me someone that I loved, ever again. And for that, he only gave to Trucy. I suppose she must have loved him, believed good of him.”

“She did,” Phoenix says.

A few more tears form damp on her cheeks. “I wanted to shelter her, but not for her to be deceived.” She picks up her mitamah, colored like a constellation chart, stars on a smooth sea, and presses it against her chest, like she can push it back into the hole it came from. “How did he die?”

“He shot himself.”

Her smile twists, ugly, warped, wet. “And that he could pull the trigger, then, he would know — I loved him then as much as he deserved.”

“I’m sorry,” Phoenix says. “You didn’t deserve that, any of that. And I’m sorry that you had to remember all of this pain.”

“You give me my light back — my children back. I cannot thank you enough for what you have done. And you must know magic in names — if not I, then who to know Jove’s name? I would not trade all that I have loved for the end to my grief.” She brushes some stray hairs back toward her braids. “And this grief I share with you, but if you will do one last thing for me, spare my children it.”

“It’s a little late for Trucy not to know,” Phoenix says. “Finding your soul in the pot at the end of the rainbow couldn’t mean much else.”

“Yet it does not tell the story of curses, and that, she does not have to know. Apollo does not have to know. And I, with nothing more than a severed soul — what worth have I do them?”

“You’re their mother,” Phoenix says. “The mother they don’t know. That’s — you don’t have to — to earn the right to see them.” His phrasing catches up to him a moment later. “Or to meet them, if not see—”

“What do you know of mitamahs?” She cuts across him with a flick of one finger, a motion so miniscule he doesn’t know if she notices she had done so. “I will not meet my children for them to mourn me — I will not meet them without reassurance that reuniting this body with this soul will not cause me to die as I should have, were they together those years ago.”

“You haven’t dropped dead yet,” Phoenix says. Definitely a good thing; there’s no easy way to get a body out of this office. “I think that’s a good sign.”

She taps the curved-over part of the mitamah against her collarbone, to the center of the lingering bloody wound. “You know nothing of soul magic, do you?”

“No.” She has him there. “I started looking through grimoires for something to help, last night. I have friends in the Court, as well — for you, I would ask if—”

“No!” Her rebuke hits a discordant screech. It lingers, jarring, in his ears, a few keys next to each other on the piano smashed all at once. “No. I do not think you naive, Phoenix Wright” — his name on her lips hits heavy, strengthened by her earlier comment about the magic of names, and her life grown up with the fae’s own name customs — “but you think Them friends? To call for the merest trifling inquiry—”

“The soul of the mother of my daughter is not a trifle, Thalassa—!” He hits back the best way he knows, and she jerks backward, one hand to her mouth, the other around her mitamah slipping loose. Then the corners of her mouth harden, the lines about them fade, and the tearful red runs out of her face like a cooling corpse. Defensively, she pulls her glamour back around herself.

He presses a hand over his eyes. “I’m sorry. But it’s not any mere inquiry, and I know by now how much magical assistance I can buy for the price of five dozen pizza rolls and getting kicked out of an all-you-can-eat sashimi bar.”

She tries her hardest not to smile. She does not succeed. “You speak of them with fondness,” she says softly. “You do love them?”

“Unwisely,” Phoenix says. “But I’ve been told most of the way I love is unwisely.”

Thalassa touches her fingertips to his arm. “That, I understand. But do not trouble yourself for this — they will not know.” She resumes tapping her mitamah against her skin. “The Winter Court lost the nuances of mitamah magic long ago; there is little more that they will tell you than the crude process of buying them. To know what happens when bringing them back together — I will assure you, they will not know.”

If he’s remembering correctly, and if Trucy didn’t raid them at midnight within the past three days, he has at least one box of pizza rolls in the freezer. He believes that Thalassa, having grown up in the Court, would know — but he still wants to check. For her sake, for Trucy’s sake, for Apollo’s. Maya is the Mystic Queen — maybe she knows more than anyone else, now.

And there is still one fact that Thalassa in her words sidestepped. “And the Summer Court?” Phoenix asks. “They would know?”

Thalassa grabs his hand with a force that turns her knuckles white, puts an icy chill back into his skin. “I have lost too much to them already, and for all the world, for my soul and life, I would not let you set foot in their halls. I would not chance my children losing another father between their teeth.” Her eyes are fixed on his. With her Sight, and without sight, she might just see them as suspended blue, and flecked through with the colors of Truth that Pearls gifted him, in the midst of nothingness. “You are not a firebird; you would not withstand the breath from their jaws.”

“They’ve gotta be far away from here, so I doubt I could afford the plane ticket, anyway.” Her hollow, intense eyes are starting to unnerve him. His own are starting to hurt. He glances away, lets the swirling colors of magic fade, and then looks back to her. She is still glamorous beyond human, but she is no longer starlight. “But — what will you do then? If you don’t think you can get your soul back — if you won’t introduce yourself to them—”

“Here, I will still stay — to live my unlife in this city I was first stolen from, as close to my children and you as I dare. And this…” She clasps her hands around Phoenix’s and turns his palms up to place her mitamah into his hands. It is cold. “I will not carry this forth with me. You I entrust with my soul, for you have in your care already that which is much more valuable: my hearts.”

Hey Howre you feeling today

-good!

Really?

-? -Pollyyyy -why would I lie

Because you CAN lie to me in text?

-bleh -fine -I’m feeling -better -at least -you want to interrogate me I’m at Vera’s -bring us food -low sodium

Because she’s….?

-yeah -that’s what Daddy said -he had stuff to do so he sent me off to hang out w her -someone to meet with too I think -maybe it’s a new mommy for me

[my notes on Thalassa]

#fic: the seelie of kurain #roddy fanfics #i refuse to update at any standard time. when i am done i am DONE i cannot and will not wait #anyway i hate how this chapter is so heavy and poetic and i worked on phrasing dialogue for ages #and my favorite line is STILL the fucking sashimi line. i hate myself.

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citizen0ne · 8 years ago

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SANDY HOOK: 33 UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

There are still some who cannot bring themselves to believe that criminal elements within the US Government could pull off a false flag hoax like this.

In fact, the fear of a lash-back or public outrage at anyone questioning the official narrative of the murder of children in a way silences dissenters and monopolizes the dialogue.

Motivation for conducting such an event? Simple. An excuse to reform the constitution concerning the second amendment and further infringe on American liberty. DEEP STATE.

Here is a list of 33 unanswered questions about Sandy Hook:

Sandy Hook: Foreknowledge and Preparation

1. Why was a Facebook webpage for the alleged dead teacher Victoria Soto of Sandy Hook Elementary School posted before the event occurred?

2. Why was the United Way charity webpage for Sandy Hook posted before the event occurred?

Google caught evidence of foreknowledge: this United Way charity website page was launched on Dec. 11th, 2012, a full 3 days before the mass shooting at Sandy Hook actually occurred!

3. How did the Arlington Red Devils website post the book on Talking With Children/Students About the Sandy Hook Elementary Shooting on 12/10/2012 (which was contained in the page url), 4 days before the event occurred? If this were some kind of technical glitch, then how did Google’s bots manage to record a cached page for 12/13/2012, still 1 day before the Sandy Hook shooting happened?

{*THIS IS HUGE}

4. How did John Trentacosta (whose house was next to the Lanzas with a lot of activity occurring there at the time), who was CEO of the local Newton bank, start a victims’ fund on the same day so quickly after the event, after receiving in his words “countless requests” to do so? Is it just a coincidence that Trentacosta was also a member of a new council of the New York Federal Reserve, the Community Depository Institutions Advisory Council?

5. According to various researchers, why was the Newtown community seeded with new families in the years leading up to the event?

6. According to Wolfgang Halbig, why were 16 state troopers pre-positioned 45-60 minutes before the alleged shooting?

Sandy Hook: Media Switching Stories

7. Why did the media keep switching its narrative as the story unfolded regarding the actual weapon used? Finally they settled upon a rifle. But how could a rifle kill 26 people in such quick succession?

Sandy Hook: Inconsistencies with Witness Stories

8. Why did known actor and Sandy Hook witness Gene Rosen keep changing his story about how he encountered the 6 kids who allegedly came to him? In different interviews he variously claims he found the kids just after feeding his cats in the loft, just after going to breakfast and just after coming home from breakfast. His testimony completely conflicts with that of the school bus driver and the official report. There is also video of him near the fire house walking around slowly, plus a video of him rehearsing his lines with the cameraman …

Sandy Hook: Lack Of Evidence

9. How was a skinny 19-year-old boy with no military training capable of killing 26 people clean while injuring none? (Trained military veterans have claimed it was highly unlikely or even impossible for someone with the weight of Adam Lanza to execute that many people in so short a time.)

{*TO ME, THIS IS GLARING - IN FACT, SMOKING GUN. I’VE NEVER HEARD OF ANY SHOOTING OR BOMBING EVER WITH A 100% KILL RATE LEAVING ZERO WOUNDED SURVIVORS.}

10. Why was there no evidence of blood? A total of 26 fatalities (children and adult) would produce at least at a conservative estimate 20 gallons (75 liters) of blood. Thus would require a concerted blood cleanup (blood is considered a biohazard in this type of situation), yet when Sofia Smallstorm asked who did the cleanup, all the departments were ignorant of it and even claimed that no one did the cleanup.

11. Where are the alleged 600+ children of Sandy Hook Elementary School? Why is there absolutely no photo or video evidence of any dead bodies? Why did coroner Wayne Carver say the following?

“Uh, we did not bring the bodies and the families into contact. We took pictures of them, uhm, of their facial features. We have, uh, uh—it’s easier on the families when you do that. Un, there is, uh, a time and place for the up close and personal in the grieving process, but to accomplish this we thought it would be best to do it this way and, uh, you can sort of, uh … You can control a situation depending on the photographer, and I have very good photographers. Uh, but uh—”

12. According to Wolfgang Halbig, why do the records show no social security numbers for the dead students?

13. According to Wolfgang Halbig, why do the records show no report of actual shots fired?

14. According to Wolfgang Halbig, why does the Sandy Hook shooting crime not exist on the FBI 2012 crime report?

15. According to Wolfgang Halbig, why does the tax accessor’s website shows the victims’ families got free houses on Christmas day when all Government offices are closed?

16. Why were all the ambulances parked at the fire house away from the crime scene (except one on Dickinson Dr. which was also too far removed to be helpful)? Why were so few EMTs (Emergency Medical Technicians) allowed in the school?

Sandy Hook: Faked Photos and Evidence of a Drill

17. Why does the iconic image of the teacher leading kids out of school contain evidence of Photoshop doctoring and fakery?

The iconic image of Sandy Hook – the evacuation – shows numerous signs of fakery, from Photoshop doctoring to EXIF data.

18. Why does the Sandy Hook Timeline of Evacuation not match the video evidence from the trooper’s car stationed at the Sandy Hook Elementary School car park?

19. Why was there a big electronic sign erected at the entrance to the Sandy Hook Elementary school stating “EVERYONE MUST CHECK IN” if the event were real and not a drill?

20. Why was there an active shooter drill at around the same place and the same time as the Sandy Hook event? Every recent false flag since at least 9/11 has had this element.

21. Why are people walking around the Sandy Hook fire house in circles like a movie set? Why was there such a lack of urgency in the emergency personnel who were responding for many hours after 10am when people were still unaccounted for (e.g. nurse Sally Cox who claims she hid in a closet for 4 hours until 1:15pm)?

*I URGE YOU ALL TO WATCH THE AERIAL FOOTAGE OF THE SAME PEOPLE GOING IN AND COMING OUT THE BACK OF THE FIREHOUSE OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. IT IS BIZARRE.

Sandy Hook: Coverup

22. If Sandy Hook Elementary School was a legitimate and operational school at the time of the event, why is there evidence that the school shut in 2009 due to asbestos, was reinspected in 2011, and was flooded again with Hurricanes Irene and Sandy? We know FEMA and the US Federal Government supplied money to Newtown to revitalize it. Why does the local business Apex Glass claim they were using the school premises for their glass business (apologies but the interview revealing this information has been taken down by YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9vLEzNsI00])?

Sandy Hook: If this were a real mass shooting and not a drill, why must everyone check in?

23. Why were the entire school grounds of what we were told was “Sandy Hook Elementary School” demolished and rebuilt? Does this remind you of how the metal scraps from 9/11 were immediately shipped off to China before they could be examined for evidence?

24. Why did Town Clerk Debbie Aurelia and Connecticut State Attorney Kevin Kane refuse to release the death certificates and the names of the “victims”? Why did Connecticut officials conspire to pass an unprecedented bill banning FOIA requests and access to death certificates and other information, normally part of the public record as a matter of course for centuries? Connecticut Governor Dannel Malloy signed the bill on June 5th, 2013.

25. Why were there so many black and silver (Government-type) cars around the school and fire house in place before the event?

26. According to Sofia Smallstorm, why were the exact number (26) of Christmas trees for the memorial already sitting outside the fire house before the event occurred?

27. Why do so many of the victims’ family members appear to be acting, smirking, giggling, snickering and outright laughing after the event, such as Robbie Parker?

Sandy Hook: Strange Comments by Officials

28. How does one explain the highly strange behavior of Wayne Carver, the chief medical examiner and coroner? Why did Carver say that “You can control a situation depending on your photographer, and I have very good photographers”? Why did Carver say that “I hope the people of Newtown don’t have it crash on their heads later”?

29. Why did Lieutenant Paul Vance threaten to prosecute as a crime anyone who reported information that contradicted the official narrative?

30. Why did the Connecticut Governor Dannel Malloy say that “The Lieutenant Governor and I have been spoken to in an attempt that we might be prepared for something like this playing itself out in our state”?

Even Sandy Hook is infected with one eye Illuminati-Masonic symbolism. Just a coincidence?

Sandy Hook: Aftermath

31. Why did no one sue the school or the estate of Nancy Lanza?

32. How is it that no parent wanted to see the dead bodies of their children in the school?

33. Why were all the funerals conducted with closed caskets?

Conclusion: Sandy Hook – The Template for the False Flag Hoax

Sandy Hook smells rotten, and just as 9/11 was a template and justification for future transgressions against liberty, so too was Sandy Hook to become the template for the false flag hoax. Let us always remember what happened and continue to investigate it, so that future false flag events, and false flag hoax events, can be quickly spotted.

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carolap53 · 4 years ago

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June 7, 2021

Believing God for Seasons of Joy Again MEREDITH HOUSTON CARR

Lee en español

“Israel said to Joseph, ‘I never expected to see your face again, and now God has allowed me to see your children too.’” Genesis 48:11 (NIV)

“Mom, I miss our old house,” my sweet girl whispered. I asked why and expected to hear thoughts on our lush backyard or her pink bedroom.

“We were so … happy there.” Her tender honesty pierced my heart. I affirmed her feelings and proceeded to name some positive points about our current life — but I couldn’t escape the reality she’d so wisely identified.

We were happy there, in our season of “before.” Before an agonizing diagnosis rocked our family. Before a cross-country move and the loss of a supportive community. Before multiple hardships wore us down with a fierce relentlessness.

The loss of a “before” season often leaves us listless and low on hope. We wonder if life can indeed be good again, as it once was before the diagnosis, job loss, crisis, death or affair. Before the lights went out and life stopped making sense.

This soul ache presses hard into our faith muscle, sometimes even threatening to wear it out. And when these grueling seasons unpack their bags and linger for a while, it’s easy to begin believing: My best days are behind me.

The patriarch Jacob experienced a “before” season, too — before the loss and presumed death of his beloved son, Joseph. While Jacob had many children, Genesis 37:3 tells us he “loved Joseph more than any of his other sons” (NIV).

Unfortunately, this favoritism led Joseph’s jealous brothers to sell him into slavery and fake his death. With chilling deception, they presented Joseph’s bloodied, multicolored coat to Jacob, who then grieved mightily.

While Scripture doesn’t give us many details, we can imagine the depth of Jacob’s trauma. We can envision the way this massive loss tore at his soul and clouded his mind. I don’t think it’s a stretch to imagine Jacob was never quite as lighthearted from that day forward. Perhaps, like us, he believed a season of joy would never come again.

And yet the conclusion of Genesis reveals the exquisite story God had been writing through those dark days: Joseph, alive and well in Egypt, was finally reunited with his father. Our key verse recounts the tender, poignant words spoken by Jacob (also called “Israel”):

“Israel said to Joseph, ‘I never expected to see your face again, and now God has allowed me to see your children too.’” (Genesis 48:11)

What a resolution! Not only does Jacob have his son back, but he also experiences the joy of knowing his grandsons. After years of heartache, God brought Jacob into a spacious season where he enjoyed 17 years with Joseph.

When seasons of loss arrive, let us not forget the truth that God always, always works for our good.He loves us deeply and will never cease moving on our behalf — even when we don’t understand His ways, for what is dark to us isn’t dark to Him.

You and I may not receive the ending we’d choose, but we can choose to trust the God who wants the very best for us. It’s tempting to draw conclusions about the end of the story when we’re in the middle of it. But what if we leaned into that faith muscle a little deeper? What if we grasped onto the truth with all our might and trusted God to write the ending He knows we need?

In painful seasons, we can draw hope and strength from this story of Jacob and Joseph. Instead of pulling away from Jesus, we can run to Him and entrust our heartache and disappointment into His scarred hands. We can reject the enemy’s lie that joy will never come again.

Your best days are not behind you, dear one. In Jesus, we know each season serves a divine purpose. And just as God was faithful to Jacob and Joseph, so God will be faithful to you, too. Let’s never give up hoping and expectantly looking for the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Father, thank You for working good on my behalf in every season. I trust You and believe You for better days ahead. As I wait, help me lean into faith and find joy right where I am today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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headstailsandinbetween-blog · 6 years ago

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BREXIT MEANS BREXIT

I wrote this short sketch/satire one wet afternoon, while in a fit of depression a short time after the 2016 Referendum. If Brexit goes ahead, because the Country makes an informed choice between a specific Brexit and Remaining in EU, then so be it. I won’t be happy but I can accept that as a democratic outcome. However, until that happens I will oppose Brexit with every fibre of my being.

I hope it amuses.

BREXIT MEANS BREXIT – Theresa May 11 July 2016

A Fantasia (UK) Production – In two Acts

ACT 1 - The Surgery of Drs Cameron, Fox, Gove, Johnson, Davis, Clarke, Morgan, Grieve, et al.

Mr Joe Public (Patient)

Doctor I have this pain in my gut.

Dr David Cameron (General Practitioner)

I’d better examine you then … hop up onto the couch please

Dr Cameron

Yes ... I thought so ... you’ve got EUralgia. There’s been an epidemic of the condition in the last few years. The treatments so far have met with little or no success and they’re costing the NHS dearly.

Mr Public

Is it serious Doctor?

Dr Cameron

Well it won’t kill you if that’s what you mean. It’s caused by a build up of bile from consuming too much British Beef. The strange thing is that for everyone who has EUralgia there’s another with EUphoria. Their gut just reacts differently - no one knows why. They say it’s better to eat EU beef, but that’s not to everyone’s taste. I find that the older generation don’t tolerate it too well.

Mr Public

What do you recommend Doctor? Is there a cure?

Dr Cameron

Well, it’s a very contentious area, medically speaking that is. It isn’t all that long ago that we discovered it was British Beef that caused it. It used to be thought it had something to do with an excess of butter; then it was wine; and at one point, would you believe, it was thought to be something to do with straight bananas. Now we’re certain though that beef is the culprit. British beef that is - EU beef has been known to cause problems but on a much lesser scale.

Mr Public

Will it get better Doctor?

Dr Cameron

That’s hard to say at the moment. But if you’re worried about CJD - or Mad Cow Disease as it’s more commonly known- don’t be. I’m not aware of any connections, though I have wondered about it from time to time. The symptoms can appear similar in some more extreme cases; I even got to wondering if some of my medical colleagues might have it until I knew it wasn’t that.

Mr Public

Is there a treatment Doctor?

Dr Cameron

Well, as it happens I have read of a proposed treatment. It hasn’t been tried yet but there’s been a lot about it recently in the Medical Press.

Mr Public

That sounds interesting Doctor. What does it involve?

Dr Cameron

Well it’s not a treatment that would appeal to everyone. It’s quite radical really and - as I said - it hasn’t been put to the test by anyone yet. It is a surgical procedure known as a EUrectomy. In the British Medical Press there’s been quite a lot of support for it. Within the practice some of my colleagues support it wholeheartedly, while others feel that it’s far too risky. Our Continental cousins are generally speaking very doubtful, so the idea hasn’t caught on over there at all.

Mr Public

What are the risks Doctor?

Dr Cameron

Well, as I say, it is an untried procedure. All surgery carries risks but in this case there is the possibility of severe complications affecting major organs. As yet it can’t be done on the NHS. Therefore there will be fees to consider; though proponents of the procedure say it will greatly benefit the NHS so that may change. The bottom line is that no one can really say at this point in time that the procedure works or doesn’t work. What we need is some high quality research trials, but much of the profession are strangely resistant to that and want to forge ahead.

Mr Public

So where do we go from here Doctor?

Dr Cameron

Well … that’s pretty straightforward really. I’ve got a Consent Form here. All you need do is sign it and I’ll refer you on to my Consultant colleague, Mrs May. Excellent woman with no bias one way or the other as far as I can tell. Seems to be sitting on the fence just now, waiting to see how things develop. [Confidential aside to the audience – I think she may have her sights on a Professorship]. You can be sure that Mrs May won’t proceed unless she’s convinced it’s the right course …. course for you I mean!

Mr Public

But isn’t that rather problematic Doctor? I mean signing the Consent Form for an experimental and controversial procedure which you said yourself carries some heavy risks?

Dr Cameron

I shouldn’t worry about that old chap. You’ll be well looked after by Mrs May. She’s a safe pair of hands. Steady as a rock. She won’t do anything rash I can assure you.

Mr Public

What’s your view on the operation Doctor?

Dr Cameron

Well to be frank, I’m not convinced yet, but some of my most influential colleagues swear by it and I have every respect for their judgment.

Dr Cameron

[Aside directed confidentially to the audience - ‘They’ve been pretty outspoken of late. I don’t want to upset them or risk hostility. I could find myself out of a job - and why risk that for something that’ll probably come to nothing].

Mr Public

Well Doctor I really am finding the pain pretty intolerable. Every day it seems to get worse. If there’s the hope of a cure I don’t want to miss out. And as you say Mrs May sounds the sort of person who wouldn’t dream of going ahead unless she herself had assessed all the facts and thought it was the best answer. I’ll sign.

Dr. Cameron

Good man.

ACT 2 - Nine months later in Mrs May’s Private Consulting Rooms

Mrs Theresa May(Consultant EU Surgeon)

Good morning Mr Public. How are you today?

Mr Public

Well Doctor, not so good I’m afraid. The pain is no better. Dr Cameron said it was EUralgia and could be operated upon. But this last few months I’ve been reading all the debate in the Press about that and I’m beginning to feel less sure about things. The Continental Medical Press especially seems aghast at the procedure. They think it’s madness.

Mrs May

I see. Well you don’t want to believe everything you read. There’s an awful lot of hot air around at the moment. The important thing is you’ve consented to the operation. Medical Science has been working on the subject and there have been some good discussions of late - though conclusions seem to be as far away as ever. While I can’t guarantee there won’t be complications my colleagues are convinced it’s the way forward. I respect their views … and yours of course Mr Public.

Mr Public

What do you advise Doctor?

Mrs May

Have the operation - get it over with.

Mr Public

But you would postpone surgery if you thought it would be harmful … wouldn’t you Doctor?

Mrs May

Sorry old chap but that’s not possible. You signed the consent form after all. No going back on that I’m afraid.

Mr Public

But when I signed the form Doctor I didn’t know the half of what I do now. Do I still have to have the operation? Couldn’t I just wait and see where Science takes us before deciding if I want to go under the knife. It really does appear to be a risky procedure.

Mrs May

No No Mr Public. You’ve signed. That’s all there is to it. And you’re in good hands. We just have to make the best of things. I’m absolutely clear on that. The most we could do would be to delay a little but in the end … you’ll have to go through with it.

Mr Public

But Doctor, I signed the Consent Form without knowing fully what I was signing up to … and on the understanding that I would be sure the operation would help when the time came to carry it out. It wasn’t an informed consent. Some of the things I was told at the time turned out to be totally incorrect; others are hotly disputed and as time has gone on I’m realising there were a great many things I wasn’t told at all. In fact looking back, I don’t think anyone had the faintest Idea about the difficulties I might face, or the expense.

Mrs May

Doesn’t change a thing Mr Public. You signed.

Mrs May

[Confidential aside to the audience - ‘And I’d soon be out of a job if I didn’t go ahead’].

BREXIT IS BREXIT - Theresa May - 11 July 2016

FOOTNOTE

In the run up to the 2016 Referendum I was very sceptical about leaving the EU, despite having no great love for the Institution. Like most things in life the EU seemed to me to have many good points and many bad points. In common with most of the Public at that time I was relatively ignorant of the detail, so my decision was made largely on my gut feeling; which was that we should Remain. To be frank I wasn’t greatly impressed by the standard of the debate or by the arguments put forward by either side. A major factor in my mind then - and now - is that the younger generations are overwhelmingly in support of staying in. At 69 I did not feel I had the right to counter that, when it was largely their future at stake and not mine.

I really do understand why many people - and particularly many older people - decided to Vote Leave. However, I remain - and will always remain - utterly baffled by (i) the process through which we have arrived at our present destination; (ii) the resistance to a meaningful vote in Parliament/or a Referendum on Terms; and (iii) the refusal of the Government to countenance that we could well reach the point - if we haven’t already - when to proceed with Brexit would be tantamount to an act of National suicide.

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kidsviral-blog · 7 years ago

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How To Be A Friend To Someone Who Has Had A Miscarriage

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/how-to-be-a-friend-to-someone-who-has-had-a-miscarriage/

How To Be A Friend To Someone Who Has Had A Miscarriage

Advice from people who’ve been there.

We recently asked the BuzzFeed community to share the best ways to be there for someone who has experienced a miscarriage.

Here are some of their responses.

View this image ›

Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed

1. Show your support with food.

“People dropping off meals was exactly what we needed. It showed us that they wanted to take care of us at a time we couldn’t really do much for ourselves.” — Kristyn Hilker Hollingsworth, Facebook

“Please provide a meal for us…no one even offered and I didn’t want to get off the couch. A nice, warm meal would have meant the world.” –Emily Sutton, Facebook

“I am going through a miscarriage right now. A home-cooked meal would be amazing.” –Tessa Bryce

If you’re not much of a cook or don’t live close enough to bring food over, you could also send a gift card to a local restaurant that delivers.

2. Say, “It’s not your fault.”

“Don’t try to brainstorm for a reason the miscarriage might have happened. Many women look for anything to blame for their miscarriage, and since it is her body that was carrying the baby, they often come around to blaming themselves. This can be a crippling and devastating conclusion to come to, and it is most likely a false assumption. The vast majority of miscarriages cannot be prevented in any way. So tell her it’s not her fault. And never, never try to blame her for it, or make a statement about what she should have done differently.” —ethanv494db7b82

3. Don’t make “at least” statements.

“Any sentence that starts with, â€˜At least you…’ is not an empathetic response. I suggest saying something like, â€˜I can’t imagine what you must be going through. If there is anything you need let me know.'” —kmoy126

“Don’t ever start a sentence with, â€˜At least…’ I was told by a friend just yesterday, â€˜At least you didn’t have to suffer the stretch marks!’ Fucking really?” –Jennifer Roland, Facebook

4. If they are using their baby’s name, follow their lead.

“It’s not like I wanted to talk about the details but I wanted to acknowledge that she existed. She was still my daughter. She had a name, a personality, things that had been bought for her, and my husband and I held her still little body.” —emct86

“My son was stillborn and people walked away from me like I had done something wrong. All I wanted was for someone to give me a hug and tell me they were there for me. I love hearing people mention my son Matthew’s name… Please say his name to me; it hurts more when I believe he is forgotten.” –Hazel Diane Flint, Facebook

“My friends had a star named after the baby we lost.” —llordan

“Acknowledge the baby was a very real person to the mother. It was a person with a future that the mother imagined. My daughter had a personality in there and I knew it better than anyone. Ask about it.” —jenniferm4068840b9

5. Validate that the loss, and the grief, are real.

“Don’t trivialize it based on how early the miscarriage happened. Six weeks or 16 weeks, the emotional pain is intense.” —Amy S.

“Often, women who experience miscarriages early on in their pregnancy are told that it â€˜wasn’t really a baby yet’ and their right to grieve is attacked. Reassuring women that they are still mothers, they still lost a child, and it is perfectly OK to feel terrible is something women need to hear during such a tough time.” —GeorgieBear16

“First, validate their loss and their love for this baby. It is not a time to split hairs over what constitutes an embryo versus a fetus versus a â€˜real baby.’ To the parents grieving this loss, it is a baby. Always. Every time. End of discussion.” –Angela Gomes Plaisted, Facebook

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Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed

6. Say SOMETHING.

“Just don’t ignore me. Just saying you’re sorry is enough; I was so heartbroken by the family members who never even called me.” –Danielle Fala Regan, Facebook

“A simple â€˜I’m here if you need to talk’ is an amazing gesture. They may not want to talk but they know they have support.” —Singrrr

“She may not want to talk but a quick voicemail or text from a friend just to let them know that they are thinking about them is all you need to hear sometimes. She will call back when she is ready to talk.” –Jen, Facebook

7. Avoid cliches like “Everything happens for a reason” or “God has a plan.”

“Being told that your miscarriage is â€˜all a part of God’s plan’ is absolutely awful to hear. People don’t say that at the funeral of a 12-year-old, so why do people find it acceptable to say after a miscarriage?” –Kathryn Matte, Facebook

“It’s not helpful when people tell you, â€˜It’s just not your time,’ or say, â€˜At least you know you can get pregnant.’ It is helpful when people acknowledge how much it sucks and how disappointing and devastating is to suddenly come crashing down from the high of planning for a new life.” —sophievariann

“Please stop saying that everything happens for a reason. It still makes me want to scream when I hear that.” —katiebeacomh

“When people said, â€˜God knows best,’ or â€˜Everything happens for a reason,’ it made me angrier with God, and made me question myself and my faith, like I was being punished or if He turned His back on me.” —Cherry Pitbull

8. Remember that fathers need support too.

“There are two parents involved, and though the woman may be going through the most physical trauma, the father will be experiencing his own share of emotional pain and should be granted just as much support.” — GeorgieBear16

“Don’t forget to give the dad some support. When this happened to friends of mine, everybody was, of course and rightly concerned and supportive of the mother, but her poor husband was also heartbroken and trying to stay strong for his wife. I have to say I felt so bad for both of them.” —og4d335e4c5

9. And siblings, when appropriate.

“Don’t forget about the siblings (if any). My mom had a miscarriage, and that baby was as real to me as any of my other siblings. It was a baby, plain and simple. I cried for days.” –Sarah Trice, Facebook

“See what you can do for the partner or any other children the parents have; ask to take the kids out for a day trip to give the parents time to themselves.” —pinkrobin

View this image ›

Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed

10. Let them grieve privately if that’s their choice.

“Some people, myself included, don’t want a private thing like that to be made public or have any sort of big outpouring of sympathy. While it might be easier for some women or couples to grieve more openly, please be respectful that some people might not want to discuss it at all. I am the type of person who wants to chose my moments to let the emotion in and cry; I do not want to be brought to tears in a public place or when I am not ready for an outpouring of emotion. A handwritten card that the person can open at a moment of their choosing would be a good idea. Unless they have written about the miscarriage on social media, it is an absolute no-no to write them a publicly viewable message on Facebook.” –Jessica Calhoun, Facebook

“Don’t push the topic. Be supportive and as understanding as you can, but if it’s clear they don’t want to talk about it then respect that.” –Rachel Gesell, Facebook

“For god’s sake, if she says she doesn’t want to talk about it, don’t insist that talking will help. I couldn’t talk about it without breaking into sobs for a full year after miscarrying, and I didn’t want to explain what a blighted ovum was or why I’d made it to four months or listen to the bullshit about how I could try again.” —Jade Not

11. Offer to take care of errands or other tasks.

“Offer to do housework like laundry, which can pile up easily. If they had a nursery set up, ask if they would like help packing the things away or offer to do it for them if it’s too painful. (Of course, some may not want to take the room down until they are finished grieving, so tell them that you understand.)” —pinkrobin

12. Share your own story.

“If you’ve had a miscarriage, talking about it to other people who’ve had them is SO helpful. I had a lot of friends come to me privately and talk about it, and it helped me immensely. People often joke that women are bitches and competitive and gossipy. People who say that don’t realise how much women band together in things we’re not welcome to discuss openly and provide support for each other.” –Nancy Lorenz, Facebook

13. Give hugs.

“Hold their hands or hug them (because it could be a couple that’s grieving) and listen.” —emilys42496e8b7

“A hug and a reassurance that it’s a really horrid, unfair thing to have had happen.” —helend75

“Sometimes nothing can be said. Sometimes a really good hug can mean more than a thousand words.” —hannahw4d852b088

“If you run out of things to say, hugs and touch go a long way for some grieving women (but know the person you’re dealing with).” —amandal71

14. Do something personalized, that makes sense for them.

“The best thing that was ever said or done for me after one of my three miscarriages was when my best friend sent me a surprise gift of a DVD collection of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a T-shirt from Saved By The Bell, and a huge container of gummy bears. The gifts had nothing to do with my loss, but everything to do with a friend who knew me well enough to realize that married, 28-year-old me needed a touch of bizarre back in my life.” —ashleea4fd8166f5

15. Don’t talk about that time your dog died.

“I know pets are part of the family and when they die it’s heartbreaking, but please don’t compare that pain to a miscarriage.” —amyb48cfecba3

“Probably the worst thing was when someone compared it to losing a pet. However, a pet is not growing inside you one minute and not the next.” —shannonk4a4bdb969

“Don’t compare you losing your pet to them losing a child. I love my pets and grieved when I lost them, but nothing like losing my daughter.” –Alicia Maria Perrotti, Facebook

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Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed

16. Send a card/text/email.

“I wasn’t really able to talk about what happened to us, but welcomed every text, email, or voicemail I received. Honestly just knowing someone was thinking of us and/or praying for us helped.” –Kristyn Hilker Hollingsworth, Facebook

“We have lost all of ours in pregnancy. The most meaningful thing anyone did for me was to send me a sympathy card. Not only did it help to know someone validated our loss, but it also gave me a physical memento as a keepsake of that baby.” –Sarah Elizabeth, Facebook

17. Don’t bring up future babies.

“Don’t say, â€˜It’ll happen,’ because it may not happen.” –Rhianna Winn, Facebook

“Don’t refer to any future happiness (â€˜It’ll happen again’ — just because it happened this time doesn’t mean to say it will next); you won’t necessarily be made aware of how difficult it may have been to achieve the pregnancy that has just been lost. My two miscarriages have been as a result of IVF so actually getting pregnant was far from easy, and thinking about whether I had the strength to go through the whole process in the future just put me under the blackest of clouds.” —helend75

18. Ask how you can best support them.

“I’ve had 12 miscarriages and one stillbirth, and the one thing I wish someone would have done for me is simply to ask me if I need anything, even a shoulder to cry on.” –Jennifer Navarro, Facebook

19. Know that they’ll never forget their loss.

“Remember their lost child. Reach out to them around the anniversary of their loss to let them know you’re thinking of them.” –Becky Britz, Facebook

“It can hit you at anytime for years afterward and it’s OK to grieve.” –Emma Dwyer, Facebook

“Having gone through two miscarriages, each loss felt as though my heart were being ripped out. The pain was equally strong emotionally and physically. Each year, on their due date, I’ll think of those two babies that I should be loving, hugging, and laughing with.” —Kayla919

20. Remember it’s about them, not about you.

“Allow the griever to open up at their own pace and be there for them in the way that they need you and not the way you want to be there for them.” –Sidney, Facebook

“Be there for them on their terms, not yours.” –Angela Durant, Facebook

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Alice Mongkongllite / Via BuzzFeed

21. Give them time.

“NEVER give up on your friend. The friend who has miscarried may want to be alone for a little while, may not be herself. Time will heal, but do not let the time distance your friendship — if anything, let it allow you to become closer. ” –Jen, Facebook

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelwmiller/ways-to-support-someone-who-has-had-a-miscarriage

#death #flipped #friendship #grief #support

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