#i can see the girl dancing around so happy to get revenge on suna

[academyofbrokenhearts]

Instead of Dancing Alone, I Should Be Dancing with You (IV)

Some introspection from Kaya's POV, followed by the confrontation with Seyran, with a twist.

Author note: I really don't think Seyran is that horrible. She does have the selfishness of the younger sibling who's used for the older sibling to always be there for them, yes, but let's admit it - she was quite on point that İfakat was manipulating Suna (which she was - I know we all loved İfakat for pushing Suna and Kaya together, but she did it for her own schemes, not because she cared about them as people too much), and she had no particular reason to trust Kaya. So I can understand her being bitter and mistrustful. She should have listened to Suna more, though, instead of concluding that the marriage to Kaya was purely the result of İfakat meddling into stuff. It must have been absolutely hurtful for Suna to be judged like that.

Do I think Kaya would ever speak so openly to Seyran? Hell no, not in a million years. But this is my AU fic, and I do what I want with it. He just wants Suna to be happy and at ease, and if that means having some real words with her sister, then this is what he's going to do.

AO3 link here.

So that's how it's going to be, Kaya thinks, laying in bed, eyes to the ceiling, the memory of Suna's lips still lingering on his. He's really getting engaged, and he's going to be married soon, to this girl who was a complete stranger to him merely weeks before.

Not for the first time, he wonders if he did the right thing by being so direct and honest with Suna. It would have been easier, probably, to just tell her he was in love with her. Easier for him to protect his true feelings and vulnerabilities, easier to just hide behind the facade of a man in love, while carefully planning his next steps. Easier all around.

But he really couldn't do it. Even in his room, before their ill-fated kiss (which he cannot bring himself to regret, however), he wanted to make sure that she wasn't doing it out of desperation or because of being manipulated into it, that it was her decision, and hers alone.

Then she came to talk to him, head held high, telling him she was going to solve everything, and he remembers his heart painfully clutching in his chest, because how in the world could she ever find a different solution? What other option did she really have? None, of course, he knew that, and she knew it as well. He saw it clearly in her eyes. I will defend myself, her eyes were saying. I will defend myself, because no one will, and I will not allow any stranger to partake in my misery, to witness my shame. They can trample all over me, I will still rise. Because I must. Because if I don't, no one will help me up.

How strange it was to look at someone else's eyes and see all his fears and insecurities and pride reflected back at him.

How strange it was to feel anything at all.

He's not in love with her, and he can't ever afford to love her, because she would be a weakness, and he can't be weak. Revenge does not suit the weak.

But really, how easy it would be to just let himself fall. If he were a different man. If there would be no nightmares, and no lost childhood. No trace of the suffocating loneliness that has never left him, that he could never alleviate. If his mother would be different. Better. Whole.

If. If. If.

Too many ifs.

He told her they could be good for each other. It would have been true in another life, maybe. In the current one, he doesn't see any happy ending as far as he is concerned. Maybe for her. Maybe the time she will spend at his side will help her spread her own wings. Maybe she will be able to do what he never could. Live a bit. Breathe. Escape the horror.

Maybe his thorns will not destroy her.

Maybe not all women rejected by their families end up as broken shells of themselves, talking with empty eyes to their reflection in the mirror.

He sighs, standing up. There is no use to think of this now.

The door of his room suddenly opens, putting an abrupt stop to his thoughts.

It's Seyran, and she looks angry.

He can't say he didn't expect this, especially after what Suna shared with him in the morning.

He doesn't even pretend to not know why she is there. It would be so easy to act like he has no idea what's wrong, to aggravate her some more, and that's what he would do in regular circumstances, but... He still remembers. Suna's sadness, the way her shoulders sagged in defeat when speaking about her fight with Seyran earlier. Her kindness when she asked him later about his mother, her gentle reassurance.

So he simply says:

"Yes, Seyran, go ahead and speak. I'm sure you have a lot to tell me. I'm listening."

She does seem to be taken aback for a second, then her anger seems to return in full force.

"Your purpose was to fight against me and Ferit from the beginning, am I correct? You helped me with the university thing just because of this. So that we would fight. And when I asked you to not tell him what I had told you... you went ahead and told him everything at dinner anyway, didn't you? Come on, admit it!"

Everything is about Ferit and her, Kaya thinks. Not a very charitable thought, especially considering that he actually did what she accuses him of. Then again, he doesn't feel particularly charitable towards her at the moment, even less so towards his cousin.

"I won't believe a single word coming out of your mouth again, Kaya," Seyran continues, seemingly even more angry at his silence. "And I for sure don't want you to marry my sister, so you will end this entire ridiculous thing!"

"Ridiculous thing, you say?" he finally speaks out, calmly, stepping in front of Seyran.

"You will not fool me, my friend. I will not be fooled. I'm sure you planned everything with İfakat. You saw a pure girl, didn't you? You saw her, and you decided to fool her, to involve her in your games. You saw she was in need of care and love. You saw her weaknesses and you fooled her. Didn't you? You don't even love her. You don't love her. But I will not allow this. I will not allow it, Kaya! That girl is my soul, my soul, my blood, okay?"

"The girl you are calling your soul and your blood was crying on the terrace this morning because of you," Kaya says, and when Seyran attempts to speak again, he raises his arm. "No. I listened to you until now. You will listen to me now. Because I think you have misunderstood some things, and it's about time to sort this out. And I am only going to say it once, and after that I will ask you not to bother me anymore about this topic. Ever."

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, then opens them again.

"First of all, it's interesting how you seem to despise İfakat so much, and yet she came into this room just last night to tell me almost the same thing as you. Oh yes," he says, when Seyran's eyes widen in surprise, "yes, she told me that I had to do whatever I could to stop the wedding from happening. And I said to her the exact same thing I will say to you now. No. You talked to her before coming here? I'm sure she neglected to mention this small episode, didn't she?"

"You're making up things now and I told you-"

"Like I said, you are going to listen to me until the end. Whatever your opinion might be about me and my actions - I really don't give a damn. I'm not about to excuse or justify myself in front of you in any way. But if you claim to love your sister, just be quiet and go along with this wedding. You know your father pretty damn well by now. You know he will not budge, and any further protest from you will make things worse for Suna, and very likely for you as well. So don't."

"Is that why you are marrying her?!" Seyran exclaims in disbelief. "Because my father forces you to?"

"For the love of God, Seyran! Your father hit your sister. In front of me. He humiliated her. And you know, I pay attention to my surroundings, to the way people act. To what they say and do. It was not the first time it happened, and it won't be the last either, unless someone puts a stop to it."

At this, Seyran finally falls completely quiet, her lips trembling.

"You spoke to her this morning," Kaya says, after a moment of silence, "but I don't think you actually understood what she was trying to convey, right? It's suffocating, Seyran, you know. To live under the crushing thumb of someone else. To feel like you're unworthy. Like you could disappear forever, and no one would care. You got so used to have her by your side, always in your shadow, that you never stopped to ask yourself whether she wanted more, whether she deserved more. You say you want the best for her, but it is not for you to determine what's best for her. That's for her to decide. Don't ask her to choose between you and what she sees as her only chance to escape the hell she's living. It's a cruel thing to do."

By now, Seyran's eyes are full of tears, any trace of her previous anger gone.

"To answer your question," Kaya adds, not unkindly, "I'm marrying your sister because I want to marry her, and she wants to marry me as well. That's the most important part. That's what you need to tell yourself. That your sister and I took a decision like two responsible adults, and that you need to respect it. That's all there is. And whatever you might think about me, I never lied to her. Speak to her, if you don't believe me. Just don't hurt her anymore."

Seyran quickly wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, seemingly unsure of what to say and do. When she opens her mouth to speak again, Kaya stops her.

"Not to me. Remember. To her."

She nods, turns around, and leaves his room, quietly closing the door.

*

Later, he sees them in the garden, talking.

It doesn't look like a fight.

[darkatsumu]

I JUST HAD THIS THOUGHT! WHAT IF THE BAR JUST STARTS BLASTING ‘SHORT DICK MAN’ AND ALL THE BAR GIRLS ARE TRYING THEIR HARDEST TO NOT JAM OUT AND HOLDING BACK LAUGHTER WHILE SUNAS FAV IS FUCKIN LIVIN IT CAUSE HIS FACE!!! IM SORRY BUT I HAD TO SHARE😂😂😂-🦒

Usually he likes to be serenaded, especially when it makes you cringe or overly compensate for the sexual song of his choosing. But this, allowing you to choose the song was no longer going to be an option in the future. As everyone seems to hold back their laughter, hiding behind trays and hands, but you, Suna declares that you were the worst. Microphone in your hand as you point, dance, and sing around him, “Eeny-weeny, teeny-weeny, shriveled little short dick man!”