#i can see him beating the crap outta someone tho
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Do you think gray ever ended up killing anyone, i've seen 2 takes on this:-
He did.
Since he knew carmen would be upset after seeing her reaction, powered the crackle rod to stun mode. I like both, the first gives way for great character exploration as "Sabor a mi" and the second is very believable. What do you think?
😭I wanna say no cause I like him ( Carmen standing directly behind me as his defense lawyer)
But in terms of stray thoughts on this (sorry if they're scattered on pro v con)
That roof on the train does indeed have a hole in it so for the time she was out exploring the world before she was carmen there was a wild gray on the loose with a crackle rod strong enough to break and burn on impact
He may say he doesn't regret anything but actually trying to hurt carmen specifically but gray does have his own sense of guilt when prodded about the philosophies he's adopted on the train at least
Especially when you "steal lives" which you could take as only referring to the attempt they're talking about at the moment or...
And as we see later this + carmen does result in the permanent stun mode when nobody knew (aka had nothing to do with carmen until the moment she used it)
No matter how CAPABLE of violence he actually seems to shy away from fights or kills he doesn't need to seem to take and like i don't see EVERY mission needing to mean bodies on the floor if you're just a good thief who doesn't get caught. Which he is. Even if it is VILE.
That being said there's not a zero possibility that he was put in another situation to kill a witness and he...would.
He doubles down on pushing through to the idea that this is his nature :/
Lmao he's lucky those guns at acme are stun gun equivalents. He is efficient and ruthless when taking them down.
O.o or maybe he knew? Idk how much difference that would make at that point in time
Hes bellums boy. It doesn't happen all the time but there are shown to be occasions for VILE faculty to call favorite agents for certain missions. Most Bellum missions have huge collateral damage potential
VILE does have that no loose ends rule at all
That being said this show has only given me 1 corpse. And its acme's. 1 1/2 if we count our poor almost barbecued gray (and that was VILE's but only if the agent on site was a traitor)
Those people at the dig that tigress and le chevre knocked out in ep 2 are...just knocked out to me. Like idk they wake up with a bad headache and stolen digsite with zero memories of who did it . Sorry I dont even count the cleaners as menace (sorry you guys are efficient and have a scary reputation i promise 😔✌)
Heck actually a lot of the crackle rods we see are at stun mode naturally(gray is always having to dial it up, eel did not die, carmen presumably did not kill the guards around gray☆ or even the 6 months she was dark! Kill count is not mentioned among her crimes and she's really ready to pounce on witnesses)
Counter point HE DOES DIAL IT UP ON SCREEN matching carmen for 2 attempts we can see and only fails because carmen is carmen ♡
Define...necessary to use for him?
No idea when he did the permanent stun mode . could have been immediately getting back could have been mid dark! Carmen era or the week before he turns himself in
I actually might think he'd be ok not needing to use the crackle rod and just taking comfort in the menace/power it projects ok
Like not even a carmen told him to way but a he takes a bit of time canonically way
But if its "necesary"...
TLDR: personally lean towards no (knee jerk blorbo biased reaction) and especially in dark! Red era even if we don't know when the permastun was enforced but im not against exploring the idea because its not impossible that he did come across the situations he "had " to offscreen before the train? Boy is a pretty efficient agent. And he's...capable.
#asks#sorry for waffling but i dont usually think of gray as killer on his offscreentime despite knowing hes absolutely capable#call that carmen effect☆#he did...some things wrong...#i can see him beating the crap outta someone tho
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It's one in the morning and I gotta be up in like 6 hours but Quackity's last stream has me going absolutely feral so have a Quackity sketch dump while my brain processes everything that happened.
Here we got two of ElQuackity and two of Quackity.
Some obvs differences but lemme like go crackhead mode on y'all even tho you probs don't wanna hear it, anyways, I like to think that obviously both Quackity's look very similar but there are somethings that set them apart.
Physically I feel like ElQuackity has a more defined jaw, wider shoulders, a lil more muscle (specifically in the upper torso) and like slightly bigger wings. Quackity has softer features, more beauty marks, the beginning of crows feet from all his laughing and smiling, and he's slightly shorter.
However attitude/behavior wise, they're so fucking different.
I like to think that ElQuackity always has his shoulders squared even when he's like chill his shoulders are always just set. The only time Quackity shoulders were set was when he was angry or when he was defending someone else. Always has good posture you never catch him slouching or like hunching, his stance is confident and like daring.
He never actually smiles it's always this smirk that from certain angles looks like a smile but it just irritates the absolute crap outta ya. His eyes don't scrunch when he 'smiles' they like kinda squint but never truly scrunch.
He does that thingy sociopaths do were they emulate emotions but never actually feel them unless they're neg like anger and annoyance. He can act the part but there's a distinct lack of just everything that makes it Quackity.
And then Quackity is just a laid back dude, he's always smiling always laughing but there's this sadness that peaks through. His sadness is like tint on a window it's obvious the windows tinted but once your use to seeing it on the window you get use to it.
( or something I dunno shut up)
Even though he would still act like his usual self he carried himself like there was a weight on his shoulders. He doesn't feel as bright, he feels far away.
His wings are also super expressive that flutter, flap, fluff up, and beat with every emotion he feels. ElQuackity's just stay unnaturally still.
Oof I'm ranting but I can write a seven page essay on all the potential differences between these two but I'm sleepy and it late. My brain no longer wants to think.
Guenas Noches.
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So this wasn't requested but I wanted to give some random Headcanons
Now this post definitely isn't for everyone's taste,
Now I know quite a bit about ABO dynamics and I haven't seen any headcanons on what each strawhat would be. Now if you do not like ABO, do not worry this will be my only post with it that isn't requested and I won't be offended if you skip this.
This definitely isn't the most detailed it can go but it's like 3 am for me and I just want these HC's outta my mind.
The Strawhats
Luffy;
This man is an Alpha, I mean how else could he become Pirate King.
Now I mean no hate to omegas, I think they should be highly respected. But based on what a society in ABO is like, it makes the most sense for Luffy to be an Alpha.
He is protective and strong, plus conquerors Haki is very similar to pheromones. He would do anything for his crew and he wants them safe.
He wouldn't be appealed to have an Omega, it wouldn't be on his agenda and he'd handle a rut very privately.
He would fight his way to the top fairly and wouldn't discriminate against betas and omegas.
I'm also down to hear anyone's different opinions on any of these.
Zoro;
I can see him in many different ways, I can see him as an Alpha but I can see Omega with insecurities about it, but my most confident answer is Beta.
The reason why is because his undying loyalty to Luffy. He would fulfill the role as a Beta quite well. He would be able to avoid the hormones of others and be quite unbothered by all of it. He would work slightly harder to be the greatest swordsman especially if Mihawk is an Alpha. He wouldn't of presented before his best friend died but if she began showing signs of an Alpha, he would probably feel the extra competitive edge to be better.
He wouldn't care if someone is an Alpha or Omega, why should that shit matter to him.
And he wouldn't really care about what his partner was.
If he was an Omega, he would use suppressants and be damned if anyone knew. He would probably beat himself up over it and would build a high tolerance to pheromones. He would NEVER let someone help through a heat unless a long term relationship. And he would never be caught in an Mpreg situation.
And if he was an Alpha, he would accept Luffy as overall Alpha. He wouldn't feel like fighting it and he has the serious demeanor. He would protect any omegas but refuse to participate in a heat. He would fight himself a shit ton and never let his guard down.
Usopp;
Beta man, there's no way he'd be an Alpha. I mean he would always feel sad about it most likely, wanting to be brave and strong. He would probably have some lingering thoughts about the system, he wouldn't see Omegas as less than but he would probably assume that Omegas and Alphas are meant together and he has to find a Beta.
Until his crush on Kaya, the caring Omega. He would fight himself internally over it but she wouldn't care if he was a Beta. She probably was told she had to find a nice Alpha but that wouldn't affect her, she really cares about Usopp. She even goes to medical school to fix him up.
He would be disturbed by Ruts and Heats, he would get flustered and stay away from whoever was having one at the time.
Sanji;
Just like Zoro I can see any of them,
But I'm leaning Beta/Omega. No offense if you are like 😡 I want an Alpha Sanji don't disrespect my man's like that
Reason why I can see Omega, he is quite loving and I think he'd make a great dad. He loves ladies so much and being an Omega wouldn't stop him. I mean hey, look how much he likes fiesty women. He definitely wouldn't be against a female alpha, as long as he doesn't know about the extra appendage during a rut.
His family storyline would play into this, his dad would've been pissed if all Sanjis siblings are an Alpha but Sanji was a "weak" omega son. He would definitely be an angry and powerful Omega, training his tolerance to pheromones. And oh my god he'd be so angry if Zoro is a Beta/Alpha.
He would avoid Alpha men, I don't see him ever wanting to date one. I think he may be a little fruity but it's so internalized he would never be okay dating any male. He would probably hope for any female, but preferring an Omega/Beta.
If Sanji is a Beta, he'd be right up there with being a supporter of Luffy. He would definitely offer to help Omegas through a heat (and promptly get turned down) . He would be frustrated anytime an Alpha was in a rut and avoid being near them at all costs. It would piss him off especially if they wanted one of the crew.
His preferences would stay the same as if he were an omega.
And as an Alpha, oh my this man would be the most respectful ever. He would be damned before he let himself with an Omega without consent said before the heat was even close. He would protect his Omega at all costs. And he would let them bite his neck back. And he would defend any omegas in a vulnerable position. He definitely has a savior complex about it though. But he definitely would believe he could only have an Omega.
Brook;
He is a skeleton, this wouldn't even affect him.
As a human tho, I could see an Omega with his love of the arts and his love for Laboon and his crew. But I don't have much of detailed one for him. Beta, possibly but that's the easiest to presume someone as.
Chopper;
He is a damn reindeer. I just wanted to include my besties name but yeah he is a reindeer no way in hell would this affect him and he'd just make suppressants for everyone. Even with the human human fruit, that wouldn't add abo to his form.
Franky;
Now there's a chance that now as a cyborg this doesn't affect him. But pre cyborg or if it did, I see him as an Omega.
This man cries his heart out (which I love dearly about him) and he is such a big bro/dad figure.
He wouldn't care what anyone was but as a kid he may have had some trouble with the concept until Tom taught him better. Esp with Ice for Brains, who I could see as an Alpha/Beta so Franky may have felt less than.
Robin;
Alpha or Beta, but she isn't an Omega.
She holds herself up with an air of stoic and dark humor/themes. She would be quite a helpful Beta and she'd protect any Omega friends. She would feel very strongly about Omegas being seen as the same as everyone else. And she would feel very insecure if she was made to submit to anyone unwillingly.
I can see Alpha tho, (esp Frobin <3), she lets Franky let his tears out and she is such a good friend. She would struggle to let her feelings out which would make her line in Enies lobby even more important. She would be experienced and she would probably offer to help an omega she was very close to but she wouldn't settle down unless you are Franky or a very solid partner to her. She wouldn't care if you were another Alpha or Beta though, she'd love you for you.
Jinbe/Jimbei;
Now I don't know if Fish people/men would even be affected but if they were.. he would be...
Alpha, but in a very nonchalant way. He was a warlord, and not just anyone would get that. He wouldn't ever make someone submit and he would fight for rights for everyone esp Omegas in his community. If he did settle down, it wouldn't matter to him. Just as long as he can share his feelings in a safe place.
But beta would work as well, he is quite devoted to his crews and is a loyal person in general and shows alot of care to Luffy during the timeskip.
I also haven't finished Fish man Island yet so I have little to work with.
Nami;
I did save her for last, this is probably the most biased one. I mean as you guys will learn, she's my girlfriend/wife, so I may see her slightly different than someone else would.
Now I feel like as many of the others, she can fit in all three. I mean everyone is going to show traits to each kind which is why I try to explain myself for each.
Alpha, i can see this. She's very fiesty and she sure as hell wouldn't want to submit to anyone. She would be a little embarrassed during a Rut and she would use suppressants. She would be fine with not being top dog but she definitely wants her respect, she's the entire reason they get anywhere.
She isn't looking for romance but she'd be fine with anyone as long as they were worth it. I think an Alpha male would be her least likely pair though, that person would have to be quite honorable and prove themselves to her as good enough.
If she's an Omega, she would be quite angry about it. She wouldn't want to be perceived as weak and sure as hell would use suppressants and she'd be damned if an alpha helped her through a heat. The only way she would, would be after a super solid relationship where there's extreme trust. She would slap the crap out of Sanji if he tried anything or suggested anything, she wouldn't have any patience especially after she had to deal with the bullshit she heard her entire time with Arlong and other crews stealing treasure.
If she was a beta, she'd probably go after another Beta. Keep thing simple. She would eyeroll at any alphas and she would be over the whole alpha/omega bullshit.
#nami headcanon#straw hat nami#nami one piece#one piece robin#zoro one piece#one piece#abo au#abo dynamics#abo headcanons#alpha luffy#one piece luffy#luffy headcanons#monkey d. luffy#brook one piece#brook op#brook headcanons#alive brook#zoro x reader#pirate hunter zoro#zoro op#one piece x you#one piece abo#one piece alpha beta omega#sanji headcanons#sanji x reader#black leg sanji#sanjionepiece#nico robin headcanons#franky one piece
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hq boys as the crimes they’d commit
warnings: CRIMES, crackfic, probably many typos idk i’m so tired lmaooo, cursing, drinking ??? idfk 😩💦
an: and i did this for what?? inspired by hq hcs royalty @sugardaddykenma @hina-wit-da-glock (AJSKSJ SORRY FOR TAGGING Y’ALL IF YOU SEE THIS, IT IS DEF NOT UP TO PAR W Y’ALLS WORKS ILY)
karasuno
sawamura daichi- insurance fraud!! somehow this is such a dad crime to commit?? dadchi didn’t try (dumb excuse, how do you accidentally commit insurance fraud smh) to commit insurance fraud but at one point in his late-thirties, he was very very broke and was already working as much as possible so, he decided to fake an ankle injury, as you do, and filed a bunch of claims which made him bank. daichi kept doing it until he was able to quit one of his jobs and buy himself a really nice suit and a rolex (uhhh 🥵). he somehow never got caught tho and to this day, none of his friends know how he was able to afford a tesla on a cop’s salary (sorry daichi but acab 😔✨)
sugawara kōshi- child abandonment!! ok you can try and fight me on this but i feel in my bones that suga absolutely despises children. he can tolerate ages 10+ but anything younger than that, he will punt them into the next dimension. the thing is, people just assume he likes kids because of how good he is with his team which is why his aunt begged him to babysit his nephew taro. taro was being an absolute brat when suga took him out for the day and he was 👉👈 this close to snapping. he put taro down for like 3 seconds to pay for their ice cream and when he turned back, the demon spawn was gone. he panicked, running around the park looking for taro when it turns out, taro was just bent down behind the bench. some random karen called the police and suga has never craved murder more.
nishinoya yuu- arson!! you CANNOT tell me nishinoya doesn’t have a ~murder~ playlist that he listens to to get himself hype (me too noya, me too). one night, he got a lil too hype listening to start a riot by duckwrth and watching demolition videos on youtube. he snuck out of his house to an empty shed like 30 minutes away and maybe... lit it on fire while genocide by lil darkie played on a speaker nearby. what he did NOT anticipate was the absolute size of the fire so he freaked out and called the firefighters who promptly called the police. he didn’t want to get grounded so he called daichi to bail him out. daichi still told noya’s parents 😔.
tanaka ryūnosuke- vandalism!! tanaka had been on alt tiktok and saw a group of cool friends spray painting an abandoned building. he thought “that’s cool, lemme do that!” but then he realized he had no friends (AHDGS JK I LOVE TANAKA). he asked nishinoya who was grounded from the arson incident and he knew he definitely couldn’t ask daichi, suga, asahi, or enoshita so he decided to go it alone. that proved to be a MASSIVE mistake. he got the supplies, arrived to the building of his choice (thanks saeko :3), and decided to spray paint a huge p3ni5 in bright red paint. he finished “successfully” and zoomed back home. what he didn’t realize with his two-and-a-half braincells is that he signed his glorious piece with his full name. the cops were at his house the next morning...🧍
hinata shoyō- forgery!! hinata did NOT think that forgery was even a crime. how was he supposed to know that he wasn’t allowed to copy his mom’s signature on a permission form! all he wanted was to go to an overnight training camp 😿
kageyama tobio- attempted murder!! kageyama swears it sounds worse than was and he is absolutely incorrect. what happened was so much worse. he and hinata were having a competition to see who could hold their breath the longest underwater (you can’t tell me they haven’t done some dumbass shit like this) and kageyma lost almost instantly (he has the tiny lungs of an asthmatic). he didn’t want hinata to notice so he held hinata’s head under the water for like 10 seconds. suga walked in though, saw hinata thrashing around in the water and immediately called the police. kageyama never forgave him.
tsukishima kei- cyberbullying!! first of all, i had no idea you could get arrested for cyber bullying!? that being said, neither did tsukishima who spent 80% of his time making fun of people online (and on his real account!! bold). eventually one of the people he bullied (hinata) reported him on instagram and his very lame account was deleted (pls don’t bully people online 😤).
yamaguchi tadashi- shoplifting!! andjksh this is so funny because this scenario has happened to me and i can just SEE this happening to poor tadashi. yamaguchi gets super late night cravings (and usually tsukki will walk with him at like 3 am 🥺 nEWAYS) so he’ll sneak out and walk to the mini-mart near his house. one night, he was so tired but also super hungry so he went onto his nightly routine and basically sleepwalked into the store. he picked out his favorite chips and candy bar (which are sour cream&onion lays and milky ways in case you were wondering 😌✨) and just... walked out the store without paying. the store clerk was mysteriously missing so yamaguchi made it all the way home, ate half the bag of chips and passed out without realizing what he’d done. once he did, he cried for 2 hours straight.
nekoma
kuroo tetsurō- telemarketing fraud!! kuroo originally did telemarketing fraud as a joke?? like he was trying to prank call someone pretending that they had lost their information and they actually gave it to him??? he was mildly concerned but even more excited. he did it over and over again but he never used the info for anything. to this day, kuroo literally has a notebook full of credit card numbers and bank account passwords but he refuses to use it because he believes it’s ✨wrong✨(but it isn’t wrong to take all that information in the first place under false pretenses, not realizing that once people find out, they are forced to close credit cards and accounts but go off self righteous king). once he brought the book up to kenma and he offered to sell it on the dark web. now kuroo feels less bad about what he’s done! :D
kozume kenma- computer crime!! pfttt this one seems kinda obvious but what do you expect from kenma :). he spends so much time on the internet, he’s definitely picked up some less than legal skills that still help him now 👀. kenma did little mini crimes like getting into other people’s wifi but his crowning achievement was when he hacked into the minneapolis pd website and had it so when you opened the page, a black lives matter screen came up. he never told anyone that it was him who did it but he thinks it’s the best he’s ever done.
yaku morisuke- racketeering!! yaku, the feral king, ran an underground gambling ring in the basement of nekoma (do they have basements?? who knows! i don’t!) during his third year. the only reason it didn’t get shut down was because coach nekomata took a portion of yaku’s profits whenever he won (which was literally all the time). everyone on the team has lost money to him which is why they never play with him anymore. they won’t even let yaku play monopoly 😔.
haiba lev- indecent exposure!! poor lev’s head is so empty, he tends to fall for whatever pranks his senpai’s do to him. this time kuroo had somehow convinced him that in order to grow his schlong, he had to run outside naked for 10 minutes because the moonlight had special growing properties. lev was a lil scared ngl because he was already superrr tall and didn’t need to grow his height (or his dick ((boy is hung)) but poor lev is insecure) but he did it anyway. long story short, an old woman saw him parading around the neighborhood naked and called el policia. 0/10 dick did NOT grow and had to spend a night in jail naked 😿
aoba johsai
oikawa tōru- prostitution!! KAKKAKA iwazumi made fun of oikawa for being so shitty and said that he couldn’t pick up anyone if he tried. flattykawa took this as a personal challenge and went out onto the street, asking people if they’d have sex with him. with the way he was asking (and the way he was dressed), people assumed he was a paid w h o r e and someone eventually reported him. iwazumi had to pick oikawa up from the station- he never let him live this one down.
iwaizumi hajime- battery!! it wasn’t technically battery but oikawa is a lil bitch and overreacts (at least in his words -_-). the amount of times iwa-chan has beat the absolute shit out of oikawa is uNREAL. he just can’t handle the stupidity sometimes so he just smacks the crap outta him. not for real for real but the way oikawa reacts, you’d think a murder was occurring. one time, shittykawa screeched so loud, they got a noise complaint -_- hajime hates it in these streets.
matsukawa issei & hanamaki takahiro- conspiracy!! issei and hiro have a secret blog where they discuss conspiracy theories and such but one day, hiro found an article that explained how jfk’s death was an inside job. he sent it to issei who began to theorize how HE’D do it. that devolved into a massive thread on their blog of how’d they murder a president which blew up and caught the attention of the cia who sent the a letter telling them to quietly delete the blog. they did because they were terrified but they kept the letter and now it’s framed in issei’s apartment.
kyōtani kentarō- assault!! baby is an angry little boy but for all the right reasons. he was at a bar (when he’s all grown up, duh) and he spotted an absolute drunk creep hitting on a girl who clearlyyyy did not reciprocate his feelings. kyōtani, being the respectful king that he is, went over to the guy, pulled him by the jacket and beat. the. shit. out of him. while the bartender was happy with the fact that the creep was out, he was not impressed with the damage to his bar. he just sent kyōtani out who casually adjusted his leather jacket and rings, and hopped on his motorcycle to ride away into the night. i am the FATTEST simp for this man ONG 🥴
shiratorizawa
ushijima wakatoshi- stalking!! poor ushijima has no idea how intimidating he can be. he was on a train late at night after practice and the woman sitting across from him left her purse sitting on the seat. being the gentleman that he is, he took the purse and followed her to return it. the only problem is that the closer he got, the faster she ran and when he tried to speak (yknow with his scary, deep, baritone voice), the woman screeched and called the cops on him because he was a “strange, big man who was following her home.” when the police showed up, ushijima was painfully confused and just held up this tiny ass purse in his massive hands. the cops laughed.
tendō satori- ???!! no one knows what crimes (or how many 😳) tendō has committed but each of his teammates have different ideas- ushijima: “i don’t believe tendou is capable of committing any sort of felony. well, maybe murder”; semi: “of COURSE he’s capable of crimes??! do you know how many times i’ve seen him come into the dorm with a suspicious stain of red on his sweater?? *shudders* if i end up dead, tendō did it...” in actuality, the only crime tendō has committed is ~drugs~ but he’s not bouta tell his friends that.
goshiki tsutomu- would be a VICTIM!! my baby tsutomu would NEVER commit a crime!!! i love this man with my everything and the only crime he’s committed is being too damn cute 😤🥺
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!! headcanons#hq hcs#hq headcanons#crack fic#tsukishima kei#daichi sawamura#sugawara kōshi#ushijima headcanons#tendou satori#goshiki tsutomu#kyotani kentaro#matsukawa issei#hanamaki takahiro#iwazumi hajime#oikawa torū#haiba lev#yaku morisuke#kenma kozume#kuroo tetsurou#yamaguchi tadashi#hinata shōyō#haikyuu kageyama#nishinoya yuu#haikyuu tanaka#shiritorizawa#karasuno#aoba johsai#nekoma
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@dreamyjaems: “hi babycakes!! i loved your “target headcannons” and it was so enjoyable to read! i was having a rough night, so reading it brought a huge smile on my face 🥰 so if you don’t mind, could you do the “target” headcannons but with goshiki and atsumu! thank you very much and i hope you have a lovely day! i look forward to reading more things from you and good luck on your blog! 💓”
hi bb! ty for the kind words🥺 im glad it made your night <33 you’re my first request, so im kinda nervous😭
im not too familiar w/ goshiki and atsumu, so i’m sorry if they’re ooc :((( i really hope you like it tho!
going to target w/ their s/o
{hcs for goshiki and atsumu}
goshiki
“BABE!!! i’ll go get your favorite cereal brand for you!”
✰ would run all the way across the store just for your favorite type of cereal LMAO
✰ when he comes back PLS praise him 🥺
“goshiki you’re so sweet how did you know?”
✰ stands proudly, chest out and smiles ear to ear
“well..i always see you eating this type of cereal in the morning!”
✰ he would probably get really flustered from pda, so don’t do it unless you’re ready for an overheated baby
✰ pushes the cart for you the moment you guys enter target and would insist to push it until the very end of the trip
✰ IF you’re feeling a little mean today, your hand would “accidentally” intertwine with his on the handle bar
✰ goshiki.exe has stopped working
“u-um y/n what are you doing?”
✰ HIS WHOLE FACE TURNS SO RED POOR BABY
“nothing, i just want to push the cart with you” :)
✰ tries to loosen up a bit, but his heart would be pounding so much that it’s the only thing he could hear <\3
✰ still tries to suck it up and look like it’s not making him sweat at all (even though it is)
✰ he’ll get anything and everything for you
✰ no matter what height you are, goshiki would still want to grab the items on the highest shelf just to impress you. he’ll put it in the cart so proudly knowing how cool that was of him
✰ sometimes it’ll either leave him with a proud smirk or a face of defeat when you aren’t looking HABQAHBSAHS
“did you see that y/n!?”
“huh? what do you mean baby?”
✰ you’ll leave him stunned and kinda hurt tbh
✰ this won’t stop him from trying though!!!
✰ i feel like goshiki would also want to check out the sports section. his eyes would automatically land on the children sports gear and turn soft. he would get MAJOR baby fever from the sight of it and immediately turn to you about it
“BAB-“
“i know what you’re thinking goshiki and nows not the right time to talk about it”
“BUT”
“goshiki -.-”
“yes ma’am!”
✰ salutes you cutely and that leaves you in a giggling mess. he loves to do dorky actions just to make you laugh and he succeeds every time🙈
✰ probably thinks about what ushijima gets from each aisle you guys pass through. even though you always remind him he doesn’t need to BE like him in order to beat him lmao
✰ 100% pays for everything. he flexed his money and bought $100+ worth of junk food
✰ practically broke afterwards, but doesn’t really care because it was spent on you🥺🥺
✰ going back to the car, he’ll put you in the cart too with the grocery bags like kuroo, but would do it to only show off how strong he is haha
“baby are you sure this is fine?!”
✰ HE’LL BE GOING SO FAST SOMEONE SLOW HIS ASS DOWN
“DON’T WORRY MY LOVE THIS IS NOTHING”
✰ he of course would start to load the car for you. maybe roll up his sleeves just a tad for you to see his ya’know 👉💪😼
✰ you’d be so grateful to have this little bean like??? he’s so sweet :(
✰ you of course had to do something in return. before goshiki could even say a word out of his mouth, you connected his lips with yours for a light peck. his eyes would be WIDE open while receiving it omg
✰ goshiki: 👁💋👁
“thank you for everything today goshiki….i love you”
✰ AWH CRAP GOSHIKI STOPPED WORKING AGAIN
✰ the kiss made him blush 10x more than from inside the store and starts to muster up a sentence to try and say how he wants another one
“m-maybe we c-could do that a-again?”
✰ of couse you would give another one for the cutie. this time he actually lets it last for at least 5 secs before letting you go
“i love you too baby...always!!”
atsumu
✰ you being his first ever long term s/o, going out to target with his partner was a first for him. atsumu honestly just came because he had nothing else to do...or at least that’s what he told you
✰ atsumu is a man of physical contact, so expect A LOT of pda. he honestly doesn’t give a fuck😭 he’s THAT ballsy to try anything in public
✰ he would be the type to put his arm around your waist while in the midst of choosing between two snacks. this little punk would slowly start to trail his hand lower...and lower....and low-
✰*SMACK*
✰ you smacked his hand off before he could do anything perverted😭 boy would be sorta pissed at either the fact you didn’t let him do what he wanted to do or because you slapped his hand wayy too hard and its turning red now JANXNC
✰ although atsumu can be protective, you can’t be protected from his jabs of teases and pranks lmao
✰ he would purposely take an item out of the cart and put it on a random shelf until you’ll notice something is missing
✰ when he sees you getting all riled up or show some sort of irritation he can’t help but admire how cute you look all mad. doesn’t try to show any expression though and hides it with a smirk
✰ 100% only does it to get a reaction outta you😭
✰ drags guides the cart to the toy section and checks to see if they have any cool action figures (idk why but i feel like he would collect those kinda stuff)
✰ turns out there’s only those science toys
✰ (kuroo?👀)
“why is there only fucking science shit”
“HUN there’s children next to us don’t say that”
✰ looks at the children and then back at you with a lazy smirk
“ffffffuuckkk” says it in slow-motion
✰ AHAHAHAHAHSHXHCHH
✰ omg you would just roll your eyes at his immaturity and leave him there with the clueless children 😭😭
“awww come on princess don’t be like that, i'm just teasing”
✰ another eye roll came from your face at how stupid he is, but can’t hold back a small giggle as well
✰ ah how he loves that adorable giggle of yours
✰ the sole reason for this target trip was to look for furniture and it was the LAST stop you guys took from this whole time
✰ atsumu would straight up lounge on a couch even though it would say do not sit on it’s only for display
✰ AGAIN mans does not give a flying fuck he does what he wants😎
✰ if an employee tries to tell him to get off his reply would be:
“if i wanna buy it, my ass needs to approve”
“babe! i don’t think there’s anything here that’s nice we should look somewhere else”
“ahh seems like my princess and my ass doesn’t seem to approve this leather couch of yours we’ll be writing reviews on yelp”
✰ hey, his baby didn’t find what they wanted 🤷♀️
✰ rumor has it the employee’s jaw is dropped to the ground till this day lmao
✰ once you reach the check-out area and pay for the junks you got, you put the groceries into the cart and atsumu squishes your face to stop you
“babe, we’ll find you a pretty couch in no time”
✰ not gonna lie you were kinda bummed from not finding anything
“i know just what to do to make you happy again”
✰ debby ryan smirks 🌚🌚
✰ he immediately lets go of your face and starts jogging towards the lines of carts to get one for himself.
“lets race!”
✰ your face immediately lit up from the request of a pisshead (who wouldn’t want to wipe that smirk off of that handsome face🙃)
✰ you two both started to race each other on carts towards the car and you won. he probably would say he made you win on purpose just because you were a bit pouty
✰ laughter filled the air from how THIS was his way of cheering you up. it was so cute for him to “lose” for you
“babe you’re such a loser”
✰ your lips suddenly met his cheek for a light peck
✰ you thought it didn’t really faze him until he asked you to slap both of his cheeks till they turned red
✰ the only reason he told you to do that was to hide the fact his cheeks were burning from that tiny peck LMAO
taglist: (i’ll add more in the future!🥺)
@deadontheinsidebut @kat-writes-haikyuu @lovetsuki
want to request hcs or a matchup? here are the rules!
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons#atsumu hcs#haikyuu atsumu#atsumu fluff#haikyuu goshiki#goshiki fluff#goshiki hcs
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Don’t judge a book by its cover chapter 3.
A Cap. Syverson story.
Triggers: talking about panic attacks; cursing words (I think those are all the triggers for this chapter- mostly is a very friendly chapter).
Synopsis: Rebeca is an Argentinian girl who a few months ago moved to the USA (Washington D.C) to study in university thanks to a scholarship that she was granted. She’s lonely. People don’t treat her well. Some could be understood but most of them just hate her for being a foreigner. She meets Syverson because he’s a man from the South and she has not had a good experience with people from there, but she may find out at the end that she shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Tag: lunedelorient
Syverson helped Rebeca get into his car and then he boarded the vehicle and turned it on. Before leaving, he called 911 to inform them about the two men. Then he proceeded to go. This time he drove at a normal pace; she was also with him on the car so he didn't want to risk making a mistake and endanger her. Also, he expected that the slow ride would give her a chance to calm down. He looked at her every few minutes to see if she was better, but she was stiff and barely breathing. Her eyes were focused on the road, but her mind was elsewhere. - Rebeca, we are home. - Syverson said breaking her trance and brought her in back to reality. She looked at him, then look outside and she set her eyes on him once again. - This is not my place.- she replied. - No, this is my house.- he indicated- There's no way I'm leaving you alone tonight. You're still having panic attacks. C'mon. Let's get you inside. They got inside the house and he made her sit on the comfortable couch. He disappeared into another room and soon enough came back with a blanket. He sat in front of her, in the tea table. He grabbed her hands and cupped them with his hands. He couldn't take his eyes off her. He could still feel her fear. He caressed her hair and called her name, trying to get her attention. Still nothing. He tried "Becky" a few times and then he finally heard her speak again "Beca", she said, "Call me Beca, no Becky. I don't like Becky". "Ok, Beca" he agreed with a smile, glad to hear her speak again. Once again, she broke into tears. Sy sat next to her and pulled her closer, letting her cry on his chest while he stroked her hair. After some time, there were no more tears left to cry and she fell asleep. The morning came and Rebeca woke up. She was lying on the couch in a fetal position, cover by a warm blanket and, as she sat slowly, she saw Sy sitting on a smaller couch close tho the one she was on. He was asleep. It took her a moment to wake up a remember where she was and what happened the night before. She felt sorry for him. Once again she had to bother him to saved her because she seemed to have a magnet for trouble. Counting the time that he stopped the car because she was crossing the street with a red light to prevent hitting her, this was the third time that he saved her. She didn't have to much time to think. After seeing the time, she realized that only had two hours until she had her first tutoring class of the day. She would have loved to call and cancel, but the family paid well and she needed that money. There was no way she would bother Sy again to take her to her place, so she wrote a note letting him know the reason why she left and to thank him for saving her and then grabbed her bag and slowly walked out of the house. Thankfully, thanks to the map, she found her way home and it wasn't that far from his house, just about 25 blocks away. Hours later, as she was walking to another one of her tutoring student's house, she received a call from Sy. - Hi! - she greeted him as she answered the phone. - Beca! Are you ok? Why didn't you wake me up to take you? - he asked worriedly - I'm fine. I didn't want to bother you again. By the way, thank you so much for saving last night. - You have nothing to thank me for and you'll never bother me. Never doubt about calling me for help. - again, Rebeca noticed by the tone of his voice that it was an order. - Ok. I have to end the call Sy. Thanks, again.- she said reaching the doorstep of her student's home. - Alright. I'll check on you later. Bye. -Bye.
As he promised, Syverson texted her twice a day to see how she was. He would call before she began her shift at the grocery store and by the time she was home. Two weeks later, she was leaving the college building, when she saw Sy waiting outside, standing with his back against his car searching for her among the crow of people leaving. As soon as he saw her, he grinned. She smiled back at him and went directly to him. Rebeca wasn't exactly a shy girl, but now, for some reason, she acted that way. - Hi - she said. - Hi - he replied. - I just was close by and wanted to check on you to see how are you doing. Not to call you a liar, but I believe that you could tell me you're fine when you're not just for me not to worry. So, I wanted to see it with my own eyes.- he explained and she laughed - I'm alright. It's not a lie. It's the truth. I'm trying to keep my mind busy so I won't think in anything that worries me, other than exams. -Hi Beca! - scream a girl as she walked towards her and Sy. The girl had curly black hair, brown eyes and was taller than both of them. She had a beautiful chocolate colour skin. She always wore beautiful clothing that made Rebeca envy her a little bit. - Hi Danielle! - Beca said. - Thanks again for helping me today. That math problem was driving me insane. - You're welcome. Maybe you could help me back and save some notes from tomorrow's 9 am class. - You're telling me that you're actually going to miss a class. You? - Danielle asked surprised - Unfortunately, yes. My boss asked me if I could go tomorrow morning because both she and her husband had important things to do. So, I've got to work. - Rebeca explained - Oh, too bad. Well, don't worry, I'll take as many notes as I can for you. -she assured - Thanks a million! - No worries. - the girl said and then looked at Sy who was following the conversation amused. - Hi, I'm Danielle - she introduced herself to him. - Oh, sorry, I'm the worst. Sy, this is Danielle; Danielle, this is Sy. - Rebeca said introducing them. - A pleasure - Sy greeted the young lady as he shook her hand. - The pleasure is all mine. I'm happy to get a chance to meet Beca's boyfriend. - she said smirking. Rebeca wanted to run off; she was unbelievable embarrassed. "Shit" she tough. She was blushing so much her cheeks burn. Sy remained silent. He just smiled at Danielle and looked at Rebeca to see if she knew what she was talking about. - Ok, I'll leave you two lovers alone. Thanks again and don't worry about tomorrow, I got you covered. - she said, winking at Beca and then left. - So, I'm your boyfriend, hu? - Syverson asked amused as soon as he made sure no one will hear them. - I'm sorry. Let me explain.- she apologized- As expected, everyone found out about the incident with Trevor. He couldn't stand the humiliation of people thinking a nobody beat the crap outta him, so he made sure everybody knew you were a military captain; that'd made him lest pathetic on his own eyes. And he also said that you were my boyfriend and you were jealous and that's why you attacked him and that all I said about him trying to hurt me was a lie. At first, I was pissed, but honestly, after hearing that the people who bother me now leave me alone, so I'm relieved. That's why I corrected anyone when they say you're my boyfriend. - That's ok. You did the right thing. - he assured her. - Do you have to go to work? - Sy asked her. - Yes. My shift starts in 40 minutes, so I should go if I don't want to be late. - she replied checking the time on her phone. - C'mon, get on the car. I'll drive you there.- He said as he walked over to the driver's side. - Oh, no. I cannot bother you again. Don't worry, I'm fine walking. - Get in the car, lady. Is an order.- he commanded her using his Captain tone and she obeyed. - So, who's the girl that you were talking to? Is she a friend of yours? - Sy questioned curiously. - More a cool classmate than a friend really.- she explained- She's one the few people that's always been nice to me, but we never hang out outside class. She's like me, a busy girl and a bookworm. - She seemed really nice. Maybe someday when you're on vacation you could hang out with her.- he suggested - Yeah. - she replied and wait a moment before speaking again - I wanted to ask her out on a date because I found out she's also bisexual, but she was dating somebody. I had a little crush on her, I must admit. - Rebeca confessed, smirking. - Do you still like her? - he asked - I find her attractive, yes. But I don't have a crush on her anymore. Once we got closer, I realized that I'd like much more as a friend, if we ever have the chance. - And how about boys or another girl? Do you like anyone? - There's someone on my mind constantly, but there's nothing going on.- she answered, blushing. - Is a classmate? - Nope. I know him from another place. He's older than me and I'm sure he doesn't want anything to do with me. - Well, you'll never know until you tell him.- he told her, offering a smile. A few minutes later, they arrived at the store and when Rebeca was about to get out of the car, Sy asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner after her shift at the store ended. She accepted and wave him as she entered the store.
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Whipped with a Cherry on Top
→ summary: Kim Taehyung has been your friend for more than four years, having a very, very special place in your heart. Granted, he’s an annoying asscrack sometimes, but who isn’t? You love him to death — that is, if he doesn’t end up killing you first with his pesky tactics.
→ pairing/rating: taehyung x reader | PG-13
→ genre: it was supposed to be pure fluff but then my finger might’ve slipped idk now it’s crack too | f2l!au
→ warnings: just a shit ton of swearing as usual (:
→ wordcount: 6.5k
→ a/n: i literally power wrote this shit bc the empty masterlist bothered the crap outta me sdjflsdj i hope you’ll enjoy! <3
♫: Promise by Jimin | Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers & Coldplay | Euphoria by BTS
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: oHmYgOd bitcb
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: bitxh
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: birch
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: bitch
[YOU]: bitcb
[YOU]: bitxh
[YOU]: birch
[YOU]: bitch (:
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: fuck off botch
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: GODDAMIT
[YOU]: yOU FAILURE
[YOU]: what’s up tho it’s like 3 am go to sleep
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: can’t. forgot the reading assignment… 143 pages of that shitty econ txtbook let’s get ittt
[YOU]: dude. we have the gov final tomorrow
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: ikik… Y/N, baby can you send me the notes?
[YOU]: istfg it’s not my fault you never come to class sO WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME FOR YOUR WRONG DEEDS
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: ohmygod Y/N it’s not the time to be dramatic. my GRADES are at stake here
[YOU]: bitcb
[YOU]: bitxh
[YOU]: birch
[YOU]: bitch** fine. i am the bestest friend ever but fine. i’ll even send you my econ notes so you don’t have to read the txtbk. am i not the bestest friend ever
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: THANK YOU I OWE YOU BIG TIME I LOVE YOU
[YOU]: uh huh mhm
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: ):
[YOU]: fine.
[YOU]: i love you too. nOW GO DO YOUR SHIT I NEED SUM SLEEP
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: WELL THEN SWEET DREAMS BOTCH
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: fuck
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: you know what. i’m not even gonna try
You giggle slightly, immediately sending that irresponsible dimwit of a best friend, Kim Taehyung, your econ and gov notes. Sometimes, you think that boy could’ve possibly died in college if it weren’t for you. But then again, you’d probably be dead in your grave if it weren’t for him. He’s saved you one too many times from disaster dates that could’ve left you traumatized for life.
Kim Taehyung has been your friend for more than four years, having a very, very special place in your heart. Granted, he’s an annoying asscrack sometimes, but who isn’t? You love him to death — that is, if he doesn’t end up killing you first with his pesky tactics.
He’s killing you alright. He really is.
“Oh, c’mon! It’s just one party,” Taehyung whines as he hands you your regular — a whipped chocolate ice cream cone. Today was Whipped Wednesday, a day where you come to visit your bestie at work and even get an ice cream cone for free because quoting Taehyung, “We’re only in trouble if someone finds out.” (Actually, you have no idea how the manager hasn’t found out about this yet, counting the fact that it’s been going on for years.) Whipped Wednesday has been a thing for both you and Taehyung for as long as you can remember — that is since he started working at the ice cream parlor at the beginning of freshmen year.
“Aw, Y/N! I owe you one, remember? From all that note-sharing? I’m just returning the favor and taking you out for fun!” Taehyung says.
You roll your eyes, taking a lick at the ice-cold dessert. “Are you crazy? It’s finals week, Tae.”
Taehyung laughs, rushing over to the ice cream machine to make some perfectly whipped ice cream for a line of giggling customers. Something tells you the giggling girls are here to feast their eyes on your best friend, not his impeccably made ice cream cones. Your best friend comes back to you, slightly out of breath from being worked for the past hour.
“That’s exactly my point, Y/N,” he huffs. “One party to fling away all that unwanted stress!” He rushes over to tend to some girl batting her fake-ass lashes at him.
“But my point is, really? During finals?” you call after him. You take a large bite out of your chocolate ice cream, deep in thought.
“Why not?” Taehyung calls over his shoulder. “It’s not like you can save your shitty grades with one exam!”
You scoff loudly, putting a hand to your chest. “Excuse you, I have all A’s!” you shout, redeeming yourself to the people who might’ve heard you have ‘shitty grades.’ “Only two are borderline,” you mutter.
“All the more reason for you to come and party!” Taehyung sings as he whips up two vanilla ice cream cones, handing them to young siblings, smiling at them warmly. He looks up at you, giving you the same, cordial smile.
God. If it weren’t for that amazing smile of his, you’d refuse every one of his foolish ideas. But because of his irresistible smile, you’re stuck doing stupid shit with him. I guess that makes us best friends, doing dumb crap together. I blame it all on the smile.
“You know what? Fine. Fine!” you say angrily, biting aggressively at your ice cream cone. “But I am not getting wasted!” You lean over the counter, glaring playfully at your friend.
“Yes!” Taehyung cries, rushing over to squeeze you in a happy hug over the counter. “But it’s your loss if you’re not getting dumb drunk,” he chuckles, winking at you.
You huff. “One of us has to get the other home — you and I both know it’s always me!”
“You know it!” Taehyung laughs. You can’t help but laugh along with him.
It’s times like this when you wonder what would’ve happened if you’d said ‘yes.’
Taehyung is getting ready for the party, ignoring your yapping of, ‘wear it and leave it!’ He faces his glowing mirror, his handsome, chiseled face slightly illuminated by the soft, yellow light. It’s the way how the gleam of white in his eyes shine. How his lips are perfectly pursed on his face from concentration. How his delicate nose sits on a perfect angle…
It’s how he laughs at your dumb jokes, how he takes care of you in the simplest but heartwarming ways, how he loves how outspoken you are, how he hates to be away from you…
You like to wonder what it would be like to date him. You like to wonder what would’ve happened if you had accepted his offer to be his girlfriend. Sometimes — no, often times (especially these days) — you wonder if he still likes you.
When Taehyung had asked you out back in high school, you had barely known him. You were the loud girl, captain of the speech and debate team. While Taehyung… he had been some kid hiding behind others in the marching band.
Too nice to reject him, when he asked you to your junior prom, you’d made some excuse about how you weren’t going — even though you had bought your dress and everything. You actually ended up not going, in fear of seeing Taehyung at the school party. But that had been the very starting point of your relationship with him.
You had to give it to Kim Taehyung. He was quite the persistent guy. By the end of the year, he’d joined the speech and debate club, pushing his way to the top finalists of the school — right next to you. It was hard not to befriend him if you had to see him countless hours after school to practice for competitions.
Easily, Taehyung found his way into your life. And much easier, he became the largest part of your life. By the time you graduated high school, you and Taehyung were inseparable: the best friends of the century. Taehyung was not the shy, nameless kid in band anymore, he was outgoing, spunky and risk-taking — even more so than you.
Both of you never, ever reflect back on that possible romance that could’ve bloomed between the two of you. It’s just too awkward, you suppose. Besides, you’d missed your chance. No matter how much you liked Taehyung now, you couldn’t really say anything without bulldozing over your solid friendship. You’d rather have Taehyung as a friend than lose him forever when he rejects you.
“Are you actually gonna wear that to the party?” Taehyung laughs, making you jump out of your thoughts.
“Yes,” you say boldly, gesturing towards the ugliest pair of sweatpants you have, then tugging on the collar of your fluffy turtleneck sweater. “It’s called my male species repellent outfit.”
“You’re fucking impossible,” Taehyung chuckles, shaking his head. “I’m almost embarrassed to be seen out with you.”
“But you love me,” you croon, rolling yourself across Taehyung’s bed as you plop yourself on his carpeted floor. “Can we finally go now? If I have to wait a minute more, I’m not gonna fucking go.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Hold up, you idiot. Unlike some people, I want to look decent for a nice party.”
“Don’t look too decent or the girls are gonna steal you away from me,” you pout. Taehyung turns around, flashing you a smile that makes the blood rush to your face.
“I’d never let them steal me away from you, baby,” he coos.
Your heart threatens to bust out of your chest, but you calm it down with a deep breath. It’s too bad you know the pet names Taehyung often calls you are all part of an ongoing joke.
“Whatever, asscrack, let’s go.”
The party has the most atrocious music you’d ever heard in your life. Every single song boasts the same beat, making it seem like the same goddamn tune was on a broken record, repeating over and over and over again. Your head hurts like hell. You’re starting to actually think studying for finals would’ve been better than this.
At least the parties you usually attend have good songs. This one is the epitome of trash.
“Taehyung!” you yell at your friend who’s choking down another shot of vodka. “You idiot!”
Your friend turns to you, a lazy smile spreading across his lips. “Hey, baby,” he mumbles, gesturing you over. You roll your eyes but obey, walking straight to his side.
“Steady on the shots, Tae. Unless you want to wake up dead in the morning,” you sigh. “Who’s gonna shoo away the fuckboys for me, then?”
Taehyung chuckles lowly, looking at you from under his long, eyelashes. “I shall rise up as a guardian knight to protect m’lady,” he declares dutifully in a weird, ancient accent.
“Oh no, no role-playing,” you seethe through your teeth. “Last time was bad enough! Kim Taehyung, you hear me?” you yell at your friend, taking his cheeks in your hands as you shake his head in an attempt to cure him of his drunkenness. It does shit though.
“M’lady! I must beseech you not to… caress me as such. You make me test my heart, dear lady,” Taehyung wails drunkenly.
“Shut up,” you snap. “Let’s get you out of this dump.”
“Please, dear Y/N, will you promise me to be by my side ‘til the autumn leaves turn their pleasant shade of amethystine? Will you swear to never leave me even if the sun collides with our heavenly planet?” Taehyung says dramatically, clutching onto your sweater in the process.
You roll your eyes. “Yeah, I’m staying, Taehyung.”
“Thank you, m’lady. You are too kind to me,” Taehyung mumbles, attaching himself onto you as you struggle to maneuver both you and your best friend safely out of the bustling party house.
Once outside, you’re finally able to take a deep breath, the cold night air filling your lungs. It would’ve been peaceful if it weren’t for the nasty music that you can still hear and your best friend tugging at your hand as he kneels down on one knee in front of you.
“Yes?” you ask, annoyed as you look down at your friend. He’s so pathetically drunk that you have to fight off the huge urge to video record the whole thing.
“M’lady, I must confess to you what my heart has been telling me since the start of time itself,” Taehyung says sincerely, his eyes never leaving yours.
You scoff. “Taehyung, get up from the grass. These people might water it with their own piss, judging by their music choices.”
Your best friend pretends not to hear you. Either that or he’s so drunk he can’t hear anything but the voices inside his head. You’re joking. Kinda.
“Y/N! Oh, Y/N!” he howls. You’re so glad the shitty music is so loud no one else can really hear this wailing except for you. “Dear, Y/N!” Taehyung vocalizes. “I’ve admired you from afar for too long. I have ventured upon treacherous lands to earn your love. But all I get is the reward of acquaintances! I must ask for more my dear!”
You laugh, even letting a snort loose. “Oh, Taehyung.” It’s particularly enjoyable to watch someone you like to be so drunk — especially since he’s literally trying to drunk-confess to you in some medieval language.
“I love you, oh dear Y/N!” Taehyung declares, softly squeezing your hand as he stares at you through his hooded eyes.
You giggle, patting his soft head of hair. “You should’ve taken acting classes instead of following my ass into speech and debate,” you mutter, smiling fondly at your friend.
“Please, Y/N,” Taehyung pleads, “will you marry me?” He pulls out a slightly crushed onion ring from his pocket and holds it out for you to admire.
You nearly choke on air as Taehyung presents you your edible wedding ring. “Tae…” you breathe, a bright smile making its way onto your lips. Honestly, when’s the next time my crush will propose to me? Oh, fuck it. I’ll play along. “Why, yes, my handsome knight. I will marry you!” you giggle, sliding the slightly greasy onion ring onto your ring finger.
“Oh dear! My love, my sunshine! You’ve accepted!” Taehyung wails, taking your hand and peppering it with at least a thousand little kisses.
“Surely I will accept the marriage proposal of such a wonderful knight like you,” you laugh, tugging your friend back up to his feet. “Shall we get you home?”
Taehyung doesn’t answer you, his eyes looking somewhere that were definitely not your eyes.
“Taehyung! Let’s go,” you repeat yourself, starting to drag your friend to his car. But he stays rooted on the ground. You sigh. “We’ve role-played enough for one night, don’t you think?”
“Oh, but I agree. It’s about time we stop,” Taehyung says softly. You follow his gaze to see he was staring intently at your lips. Subconsciously, you lick them, your eyes flickering down to gaze at his lips as well. He tugs you close to him — so much so that you can feel his hot breath on your skin.
It’s enough to give you goosebumps. God, you don’t know if you should stop him or just let him continue… But it seems as if Taehyung doesn’t want you to overthink (as you usually do), quickly leaning forward and pressing his warm lips on yours.
You gasp into the kiss, finding your balance by gripping on the front of your friend’s shirt. All thoughts fly out the window as you melt into Taehyung’s embrace, breathing in the slightly alcoholic scent and chasing his lips with yours.
Taehyung is in no hurry as he lingeringly moves his mouth across yours, hands moving up to cup your cheeks in a loving manner. He breathes his hot breath against you, leaving you feeling a bit faint as you slowly wrap your arms around his neck to secure the both of you.
In your opinion, it ends too soon. Both of you pull away at the same time, gazing in each other’s eyes. You’re still catching your breath. You want to take a minute, close your eyes and forever engrave this moment in your head.
But Taehyung speaks. “M’lady, that was a wondrous kiss, was it not?” he speaks slowly, your noses touching in the middle.
That’s when your perfect world shatters. It’s no time for victories. Your crush confessed to you, proposed to you and kissed you drunk. It wasn’t real. You feel a goddamn migraine creeping in and you grasp your head. You swear to god, you usually always have something to say. Goddamn Taehyung. He’s the only one that can get your tongue so twisted.
Immediately, you jerk your head away from your friend, looking down at the grass. “Let’s go,” you say, tugging at his wrist.
“Lady, why in a hurry? Let us dwindle just a bit more,” Taehyung giggles. But you’re persistent, tugging him all the way to his car. You sit at the driver’s seat because god forbid you’re gonna let Taehyung drive dumb-drunk.
“Y/N?” Taehyung whimpers in the shotgun seat, watching you drive with your eyes looking straight ahead. “Are you mad at me?”
You sigh, your head throbbing from your headache. “No. No, I’m not.” I should be mad at myself for falling for all that.
“Oh okay,” he responds in a small whisper. “I’m sorry.”
Why is he sorry? Your stomach does a few somersaults.
“Are we voyaging to slay the dragons?” Taehyung whispers, biting at his nails nervously. “I have forgotten my armor and my sword…”
You don’t feel like replying back with something snarky. “No, we’re taking you home, Tae.”
“Oh, lord. Thank thee.”
Taehyung’s probably not as thankful for you as you haul him into his bed, grunting from his weight. It’s really not that your best friend is heavy, it’s more like your body isn’t built to haul heavy mass.
“Y/N?” Taehyung asks as he scrambles up from his bed.
“Go to bed, Tae,” you say, shaking your head, cheeks continuously flushed.
“Can you stay?” your best friend whines, staring at you with his large, puppy dog eyes. “I don’t wanna be lonely.”
You want to so, so bad. But you don’t want to wake up in the morning, laying on the same bed as Taehyung and regret even more things in your life. “No, I can’t stay,” you say, smiling meekly. “Finals stuff. I’m sorry Tae, I’ve got to go.”
You don’t give him time to answer as you practically bolt out of his room, cold hand massaging your burning forehead. If this was anything like Taehyung’s other drunk encounters, he should forget everything in the morning. You just wish you were drunk so you could forget too.
You wake up the next day, drowning out the distracting memories from the night before as you groggily force yourself to sit down on your desk to get some last minute cramming done before your finals. It’s almost noon by the time you’re done, and you get ready for your very last exam, grabbing a pair of sweats and a crinkled hoodie for your outfit of the day. Taking a granola bar in your mouth as you tie your greasy hair up into a messy bun, you leave your dorm in a rush.
The final goes well, as expected. You were in a good mood, actually, having finished all the exams. You could’ve lasted the whole day without feeling any sort of dread until the memories flood back to you.
Oh fuck, I kissed my best friend.
You’d plum forgotten from all that econ cramming. Shaking your head and taking pity on yourself, you sigh, checking your phone the first time that day. 31 messages from yours truly, Kim Taehyung.
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: gud mornin
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: rise n’ shine
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: you up
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: thx for getting me home last night lmfao
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: did i do stupid shit
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: jk dumb question
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: ofc i did (:
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: ok i found a goddamn onion ring in my bed
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: did you put it there
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: istg you love those greasy little shits
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: they remind me of your hair during finals week haha
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: jk please don’t kill me i love you
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: you nerd why aren’t you answering
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: i bet you’re studying for that econ final
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: bitch i’m winging that shit
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: make sure to eat something more than a granola bar
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: ik it’s not whipped wed but come see me at my shift at the ice cream parlor after the final!!!!
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: !!!!
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]:!!!!!!!!!!!!
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: lmfao you’re gonna kill me for spamming you and i value my life so i’ll stop here
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: but srsly meet me at the ice cream parlor
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: you need to tell me all the stupid shit i did yesterday ahahfsdjsfljf
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: also i’ll whip up your fav when you get there
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: COMPLIMENTARY because i love you
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: you’re not gonna see this until after the goddamn final but
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: GOOD LUCK BITCH
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: if anyone deserves 120% (haha the curve) it’s YOU
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: KICK ASS BBY
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: ps
[ROYAL ASSCRACK]: istfg if you recorded my drunk ass i’m going to SHANK you
You’re glad he doesn’t remember shit. You’re also glad that you didn’t record him last night. An angry Taehyung is not something one can survive so easily. You’re joking. Kinda.
Your heart flutters slightly at his texts, how he worries for you. You really don’t know how you can see his face again without possibly fainting from blushing so hard. It’s as if the kiss fueled your feelings for him and now they were more uncontrollable than ever.
You’re not sure if you should tell Taehyung exactly what he did last night or just tell a little white lie for the sake of your friendship. But then again, you kinda suck at lying. You’re just stressed that you have no idea how he’ll react if he finds out about your feelings for him. Will he distance himself from you? Will your friendship stay but never be the same? What if… he still likes you?
Shaking your head, you laugh to yourself. Fat chance. We’ve friendzoned each other ever since high school.
You head over to the ice cream parlor, feet thudding heavily on the sidewalk. As soon you open the door to the shop, Taehyung greets you with a loud, “Y/N!” which turns a few customers’ heads.
“Hey!” you smile, waving back at him. You slightly duck your head so you won’t have to see his handsome face in fear you’ll get all flustered over again. “What’s up?”
Taehyung hands you your favorite whipped chocolate ice cream and this time with a cherry placed neatly on top. “Just work,” he laughs. “Like the little addition to your usual? I wanted to try something new for you!”
You smile, looking at the impeccably whipped ice cream, admiring every little swirl and the shiny, red cherry sitting on the very top of it. “Mhm, of course. Thanks, Tae.”
Your friend gives you a bright smile, sending your heart into overdrive. God, I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up without blowing my head.
“So… What kind of crazy shit did I do this time?” he grins, rushing over to tend to a few customers waiting for him.
“The usual,” you say, as nonchalantly as possible. “Role-playing.” You take the round cherry, popping it into your mouth.
Taehyung bursts out laughing as he whips up more ice cream cones like the professional that he is. “What did I role-play this time?”
“A fucking knight. You were using this weird accent and your vocabulary expanded by a tenfold,” you chuckle, licking at your ice cream. “Apparently I was the princess you were so in love with.”
“Oh?” Taehyung asks as he settles over the counter, leaning against it just like you. “Enlighten me with more,” he says, a full grin pasted on his face.
Your cheeks heat up at the memories. “Um… Something about fighting a dragon without your armor… A love confession in some Shakespearean language… I think, at one point, a marriage proposal?” you say as casually as you can.
“Woah, woah, woah, there!” Taehyung snorts. “Me? Propose to you?”
“Yeah, with a goddamn onion ring,” you chuckle slightly, biting your ice cream cone. “I don’t know how it got in your bed but…”
Taehyung raises his eyebrows. “Oh shit,” he mutters. “Did we…?”
“No, you ass!” you blurt. “You asked me to stay with you but I…” you trail off. “Can we not talk about this? How was your final?” you say, aggressively biting at your ice cream.
“Bombed it,” Taehyung answers shortly. “You’re trying to change the topic, Y/N. Why? Did I do something that bad?”
No, it was fine. Great, actually. But you can’t tell him that. “No… Yes… Maybe? It depends on how you think about it,” you sigh. “I dunno. Forget it,” you say. You can literally feel the blush creeping in and settling on your cheeks. If it were any other person, you would’ve easily told them they’d kissed you drunk, but with Taehyung… it was so much harder. You’re struggling to form coherent sentences. It’s so not like you, the queen of speech and debate.
“Oh, c’mon! What’s there to hide?” Taehyung pushes you, leaning even closer towards you. “I already confessed my undying love to you drunk, so…” It hurts because you know he’s joking.
You sigh loudly, resting your chin on the counter. If Taehyung didn’t feel the same as you, nothing would matter, right? Ah, fuck it.
“You kissed me.”
“Wait, what?” Taehyung asks, completely caught off guard from your sudden spilled truth.
“You kissed me, Tae.”
“I…” Taehyung’s eyes widen as he searches your face for any other reaction. He laughs nervously. “Well, this is awkward.”
“Yeah…” you mumble.
“I was drunk, Y/N,” Taehyung says slowly, looking away from you. He chuckles without happiness. “You must’ve been caught off guard… I’m sorry. I swear it was nothing.”
It was nothing, huh? Fuck. That didn’t hurt at all. No, no. It killed you over.
You want to spill it out right then and there. Yet it seems so that you can argue about sensitive topics such as abortion, gay marriage and politics but you can’t seem to confess your feelings. Yeah, but a lost debate isn’t as serious as a lost friend, you reason.
“Oh, okay,” you manage to answer. Already, you feel the awkwardness.
“Yeah…”
“Mm…”
“Um, my shift will be over in a few. I’ll drive you home,” Taehyung says blandly. It feels so weird to not hear him tease you, or have a playful tone in his voice for that matter. He usually nitpicks at everything, but seeing him just tell you that in the dullest way possible… You don’t know what to think.
It’s then when you’re finally able to feel your chocolate ice cream melting, the sticky, brown liquid making a mess of your hand. You don’t have much of a reaction to it as you get some napkins to clean yourself.
It’s dying, melting away in an ugly shit color — just like your friendship.
You and Taehyung both take your seats in his car; you haven’t spoken a word to him since fifteen minutes ago — which feels so weird because usually, you two are talking up a storm. There’s always something to say. Except now.
Taehyung must be embarrassed, you think. His reaction tells you exactly that he hadn’t meant it. It kills you. Your heart feels shattered. Somewhere deep inside you, you’d hoped he’d said something on the lines of, ‘Oh, Y/N, I meant that kiss with all my heart.’
Who am I kidding? You know that stuff only happens in movies.
Taehyung starts the engine of his car and you jump slightly. Your friend takes no notice as he keeps his eyes straight ahead. The car ride is so silent, you can literally hear the gears of your brain working as all sorts of bad thoughts fly through your head.
Does this mean… an eternal goodbye to Whipped Wednesdays? What if we won’t meet ever again? What if… he won’t be a part of my life anymore? Does he hate me for letting him do it?
You’re still shaking in anxiety as Taehyung parks in front of your dorm building. “See you, Y/N,” he says shortly, waving slightly at you.
All you can do is nod in acknowledgment, quickly exiting the vehicle.
And just like that, Taehyung exited out of your life for a good week. You agonized in your dorm, moping around and eating a shit ton of ice cream that wasn’t perfectly whipped by Kim Taehyung. Your phone was collecting dust somewhere in the dorm and all you ended up doing for almost a whole week was binge-watch your favorite rom-com show on your laptop — probably accumulating as much weight as the text messages your friends were probably sending you.
It was nothing. It was nothing. It was nothing.
His words echo in your head the whole time. Just as you’re finally able to crack a small smile from a corny joke on a show: it was nothing, it was nothing, it was nothing.
Maybe he hadn’t meant it? you had reasoned. No. He had been so disappointed in himself after finding out. You’d seen the look on his face. The horror, the humiliation.
You don’t want to think about it, but it’s all you can think about. It takes you almost a full week to finally cease your moping. You take a nice, long shower in hot water, treat yourself to a healthy salad and squeeze some yoga in, in an attempt to lose some of that weight you gained from binge-eating so much ice cream.
On Wednesday morning, you finally pick up your phone, wiping off the dust with your hand. 561 unread messages. 12 missed calls. Shit. Your friends probably thought you’d finally snapped from stress and buried yourself in a ditch.
All of the calls and half of the messages are from Taehyung. You take the liberty to scroll through them quickly. To summarize, most of the texts comprise of, ‘are you mad,’ ‘you dead,’ ‘you gud?’ Then the most recent text, just five minutes before: ‘don’t forget about Whipped Wednesdays!’
Shit. Right. It’s Wednesday.
You don’t know if you want to go. You’ve never missed a day of Whipped Wednesdays since the day Taehyung started working at the ice cream parlor. But you’ve already come this far mourning a heartbreak. You don’t know if it’ll be healthy for you to see Kim Taehyung so soon.
Regardless, you find yourself wordlessly getting ready, curling your hair and wearing a presentable outfit for once. At exactly noon, someone knocks at your door. You know it’s Taehyung, arrived to pick you up.
You open the door, your stomach doing insane acrobatic tricks, making you feel all queasy. There, Taehyung stands. Handsome as usual.
“Oh good, you’re good,” Taehyung says, rushing in to hug you. You’re taken back by surprise but soon, you find yourself wrapping your arms around your best friend as well. You had missed him. “I thought you were dead, the way you weren’t checking your goddamn phone. You idiot. I worried. I was so close to breaking in. But then I realized you were probably going through one of your moody phases.” He chuckles in your ear.
The hair on the back of your neck stands up straight as you nod. “Yeah… moody phases,” you repeat. “I’m fine,” you say, pulling away and giving your friend a small smile. “Let’s go.”
Again, most of the car ride is silent, as if staying away from each other for a week made you strangers, foreign to the other’s presence. You really can’t take the silence though. God, you want to say something so bad, but what would you say?
Haha, sorry Tae, but the reason why I was moping around like a baby for a goddamn week is that I might like you?? And you kinda rejected me??
You mentally slap yourself. You’re never this tongue-tied. You hate not being able to say what’s on your mind. You want to speak. You need to —
“Tae?”
Your own voice surprises you as you can see Taehyung jump slightly in his seat, his hands still fixed tightly on the steering wheel. Immediately, you regret ever speaking. Too late now.
“Hm?”
You literally want to shank yourself for being an idiot. You’re stuck. What are you supposed to say? Maybe apologize? Yeah, apologize for being the bitch that you are, ditching your friend for a week, Y/N.
An “I’m sorry” spills from your lips at the same time as Taehyung. Both of you chuckle. It was pretty common for both of you to say something in a unison. Soulmates, as to how you two had reasoned it as. Already, the awkward atmosphere isn’t as suffocating as before.
“You should be sorry,” Taehyung teases, a grin escaping his lips. “You had me worried sick!”
You huff. “If anything, you should be sorry. Just… just kissing me like that out of the fucking blue! How am I supposed to goddamn act?”
“Okay, first of all, I was drunk. Second of all, it was nothing, I told you!” Taehyung laughs.
“Oh my god, don’t call it nothing!” you blurt out. As embarrassed as you are for saying that, you feel better just voicing what’s on your mind than being silent.
“What would you call it then?” Taehyung asks.
You roll your eyes. “What am I supposed to say? It was the best kiss I’ve ever had?”
“Best kiss?” Taehyung laughs. “I mean, of course, I was involved,” he says sassily.
“Oh god, no,” you stifle a giggle.
“Well then, tell me, Y/N. Do you feel the same as me?” Taehyung asks, wiggling his eyebrows.
You make an ugly face. “What kind of vague question is that? I’m no mind reader! How am I supposed to know how you feel, huh? If I knew, don’t you think I would’ve cried from rejection or happiness, already?”
“Wait a minute —”
“I’m not waiting anymore, you asscrack,” you huff. “Whether you like me back or not is out of my fucking hands. But you have no idea how much I regret not saying ‘yes’ to you four fucking years ago.”
“Like you back? Regret not saying ‘yes?’ You like me?” Taehyung asks as a grin forms on his face.
It feels like you’re on the debate podium, expressing yourself with your words — except, it’s way more nerve-wracking than any competition you’ve been to.
“Yes, asscrack. I like you,” you admit. It feels so good to let it out, your chest immediately feeling so much lighter. In fact, you think you lost the fifty pounds you’d gained over the past week. “You have no idea how hurt I was when you called the kiss, ‘nothing.’ Yeah, I’m a sensitive bitch and I admit I was being an absolute asshole for avoiding you, but you can’t just kiss me and expect me to act as nothing happened!” you pause for a deep breath, nearly choking on air doing so. “Agh! But the worst part is, Kim Taehyung, I know you’re not an asscrack or an idiot. You’re not even a complete shithead! You’re amazing, a bit annoying when it comes to schoolwork, yes, but also a caring friend, kind, loyal…” You trail off, fumbling over your words. You don’t know what to say. Again.
You bury your face in your hands. “I’m not crying, I just lost my train of thought,” you sniff. “You just make me… lose my fucking words. I don’t even feel like a goddamn debate champion near you. You make me blabber around like a fucking second grader! I can’t form coherent sentences for shit! I don’t even fucking know what I’m saying right now! Fuck, you make me cuss so much, goddamit!” You finish, letting out a huge breath you hadn’t known you had been holding in.
You hear Taehyung’s low chuckle and you jerk your head up, glaring through your teary eyes. God, I hadn’t meant to get emotional. Or to be fair, I hadn’t known I was going to confess now, either.
“Wow, Y/N,” Taehyung laughs. “Are you really blaming your foul mouth on me?”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Kim fucking Taehyung?” you rage. “I just confessed my whole heart out and that’s the first thing you say?”
“Yup. And I’d pay good money to see you confess to me again. 10 out of 10 you’re the better confessor between the two of us,” Taehyung chuckles, giving you a final look before parking his car in the back lot of the ice cream parlor.
Your eyebrow twitches in annoyance. Aggressively, you wipe away the tears welled up in your eyes, glaring at your friend, your crush.
“Oh, Y/N,” Taehyung says between laughter, placing a hand on your arm. “I’m sorry! I really am,” he giggles. “I swear I’m not laughing at you. I just can’t believe after all these years — Idiot! I like you too!” he blurts out.
What.
What.
What.
What the FUCK?
“YOU ASSCRACK!” you scream, shaking your arm away from Taehyung’s grip. “YOU MADE ME CONFESS LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT!”
“Well, duh. I’m getting you back for rejecting me in high school,” Taehyung laughs. “Besides, I’ve known you for years. I know how much you tend to blush around people you having feelings for.”
You scoff as you swing open the car door, hurriedly stepping out. “So are you rejecting me right now?”
Taehyung smiles at you, stepping out of the car. “I would be crazy to reject someone like you.”
“You would still be crazy even if you didn’t reject me,” you tease, smiling as you nudge Taehyung to the side.
“Yes, definitely. I’d be crazy for you,” Taehyung giggles, nudging you right back. He intertwines his warm hand into yours as if to prove it.
You flout. “Asscrack.” But of course, you don’t mean it. You never do.
Oh god. His hand fits so perfectly interlocked with yours and you stare down at it, so happy your chest feels like it’ll burst.
“You know you love me,” Taehyung answers, swinging open the door of the ice cream parlor and letting you inside first.
“I do know,” you reply shortly as Taehyung gives you one final grin before parting from your hold and walking over behind the counter. He dons his apron and washes his hands, then grins at you. “The usual, Y/N?”
“Hmmm… the usual,” you confirm, “but with a cherry on top.”
“Got it! One whipped chocolate ice cream with a cherry on top! Free from all costs because you’re all mine,” Taehyung announces, his sparkling eyes locked onto yours.
You’re at a loss of words once more. You swear something in your chest explodes at that moment — it’s a burst of emotions, actually: warm, fuzzy and cordial. You’ve got to admit, sometimes Kim Taehyung is a beautiful angel. Other times, he’s a straight up asscrack. Too bad you’re whipped for him — just as he’s whipped for you.
masterlist
#taehyung#kimtaehyung#bts#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#fanfiction#taehyung fluff#taehyung crack#kpop#kpop fanfiction#taehyung x reader#kim taehyung fanfiction#v fanfiction#v fanfic#best friend au#bts imagine#taehyung imagine#whipped with a cherry on top#wwacot#FIRST FIC OUT AND READY
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Straight Outta Monster Narnia
HEY HEY I WASN’T EXPECTING TO DO THIS EVER AGAIN BUT WE’RE BACK
I’M GONNA PLAY ME SOME DELTA RUNE HERE
THOUGHTS AS I GO! ARE UNDER THE CUT!
Here we GOOOOOOO~!
Survey Program! Nice! Ominous!
I am here yes!
Truly excellent dude
OH MAKING A VESSEL NOW what are we Xehanort
NEATO I can pick Chara or Frisk heads or others…
Let’s do someone new. This kinda longish hair head.
STRIPES FOR DAYS! Longish sleeves, methinks
The legs are almost all the same LMAO
This is so friggin creepy I l OVE IT
Favorite food is PAIN nah it’s soft
BLOOD TYPE D. D for DOGGO
You have been gifted with kindness, not-XionFrisk
Pain AND seizure. Kinda wonder what happens if you say no tho…
But I don’t want to start over so let’s go with yes
OH FRIGGIN BUUUUURNED BY THE GAME, HAHAHA
Hi Toriel, you’re looking nice!
That’s a lot of friggin trophies over there
Also Kris, you need some eyes
RELIGIOUS SKA
So we have overachieving perfect child and sad boring child, okay
Awww Gerson wrote a book! How neat
It’s only you…..FOR NOW!!!!
It just isn’t home without white fur stuck in the drain, is it
CHAIRIEL’S RETURN!!!!
Also there’s some weird graphical flicker going on when I move and I wonder if it’s not because I’m playing full screen here
“Spray For The Boys, Flamin’ Hot Pizza Flavor” Damn Toby I missed your incredible sense of humor
DOES TORIEL USE PET SHAMPOO please say yes
ASRIEL’S AT COLLEGE AND UNDYNE’S A POLICE MONSTER, PERFECT
PROFESSOR ALPHYS IMMA GET AN A+ IN ANIME CLASS
DAMN who do I pick as my partner
Like…I really want Temmie…but also Snowdrake…
Random snake is also very good…
Ahhh I see this is gonna be pre-determined
HAHAHAHA FUCKIN BURNED AGAIN BY THIS HORRIBLE BLUE DUCK
Thank you cool snake I love your origin story
Oh this reindeer girl is very cute
MOTHA. FOKKIN. SUSIE
I instantly love her, goodbye
Oh Alphys you’re so not good at putting anyone in trouble
I JUST REALIZED TEMMIE HAS HER EGG ON THE DESK
Susie are you eating chalk
Oh sheet I like Susie less now
GAH DAMN THIS ESCALATED QUICKLY
Susie, Kris doesn’t even HAVE a face
Haha totally cut off my answer there
Hmm. I sense…a theme here.
Wow this really is putting on the restrictive aspects here
Now that’s a spooky face
Oh it ain’t gonna be that simple, mean girls
Well, this sure seems like an underground! Also…Kris is green now, okay
Hi there creepy waving things!
To reiterate: this is soooo creepy AND I LOVE IT
Puzzles! We got puzzles again! CREEPY PUZZLES
Whelp, we found Susie, just kinda hiding out in a…dead dust bunny thingie
LOL so much for a party member following you around
Well this is a new and interesting take on the bullet hell mechanics
Such interesting and different architecture
THE KINGDOM OF DARKNESSSSS
Yes let’s take a sudden HARD SHIFT into Final Fantasy
THE QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS that was an MST3K ep you know
About like…Leonardo da Vinci actually. Except he was a whiny bitch
LMAO Susie just “nah destroying the world sounds neat”
JOKESTER SANS GLIDES IN A FLAMING TRICYCLE SURE WHY NOT
VERY DIFFERENT COMBAT SYSTEM
“Dunno how I got an ax but like, that’s cool”
CAN’T WAIT FOR THE REMIXES OF THIS BATTLE MUSIC OKAY
Dunno if there’s a pacifist version of this game but I stick to tradition so I’m gonna try it
RALSEI. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE
THE POWER OF FLUFFY BOYS SHINES WITHIN YOU it sure as hell does, game
The heckin heck Ralsei is so cute
Yup yup we gonna try pacifist this first time!
“If you’re reading this…I guess you’re dead.” Fair enough.
Gaster noises when trying to use the cell phone, hmmmm…
It’s an inverse papou fruit!
Susie just up and attacks this cake, all right
Battle is cool but it’s gonna take some getting used to, think I accidentally used both of my items
YOUR SENSE OF DIRECTION WON’T SAVE YOU NOW
“It’s like a dinner made out of three glasses of milk” Ralsei you’re SO CUTE
Now to see if TP stays leveled between battles…
“I thought you were running away.” / “Yeah, I finished.”
Fugdamn I want —pictures of Spiderman— remixes of this music ON MY DESK TODAY
FRIGHTENING FANFARE
Damn that puzzle still is tricky
Gah damn that was hilarious but also terrifying
We have the power of FLUFFY BOYS and MEAN GIRLS we are UNSTOPPABLE
Ohhh so that’s what the heart outline does!
Now that is a coooool cat and I like him already
Awww I don’t have enough money for the spooky sword
Susie just roastin’ everybody left and right
THEY GOT BARRY
These mechanics continue to be interesting and a bit more complex
“Damn, didn’t get to impale myself” I’m sure you’ll get your chance Susie
It’s really interesting how we’re basically group-battling to PREVENT the tank from beating the crap out of everyone
Oh now that light trick is weird
They keep throwing the usual chess and playing card guys at us and somehow I’m Suspicious
Is that a bucket. ARE Y’ALL HOMESTUCKING AT ME AGAIN
LMAO did Susie call us the Fuckboys or something
Oh, the Shit Squad, I guess!
THE POWER OF THE SHIT SQUAD SHINES WITHIN YOU HECK YESSSS
“I, Mr. Society, am far too intelligent to ever bow down to such a tyrant!” Hmmm.
Oh, it’s Sir Lion Plateface again
L E G S
THE BOSS JUST DRINKS A GALLON OF MILK THAT’S FINE
Well Ralsei got kinda junked there but WE DEFEATED SIR LION PLATEFACE
Cakes…are also my enemy…
Yeeeeah kinda saw that one coming
Susie I get the feeling you’re not going to enjoy being a bad guy either
Dang son I have no clue what’s going on anymore WE JUST HAD SOME SALSA IN A TREE STUMP
This jack’s got my number
That sure is a three-eyed three-headed cat thingamajig
Awww I like Clover
“All proceeds go to kicking your ass” CAN I USE THIS LINE IN REAL LIFE PLEASE
Hot damn we just squeaky hammered our broken cake into ULTIMATE CAKE
Why does a sweet little boy have a mustache indeed.
Create a machine to thrash your own ass, nice
It’s my beautiful death laser duck! Tops in GUN’S
Man Susie and Lancer are just having the time of their lives here
Finally, respect for pinecone-eaters!
Awww Susie, are you actually starting to worry about someone who respects your eating of chalk and pinecones
Oh thank goodness, got through that maze thing
Yes, finally, it’s our DUCK TANK LASER
Why does it say Tuna on it
“Your design sucked so we blew it up” This is like that one Berlin tour guide I had
GANGED UP ON THEM WITH KINDNESS, HA
Whelp, back to telling enemies that Susie will kick them in the shins I guess!
YES LANCER JOIN THE SHIT SQUAD
OMFG THAT FAAAAACE WHAT IS THAT FACE
Hey we’ve got a full Final Fantasy team now! Neat
STOOL FORME
I like how Lancer just sliiiiiides around outside the party instead of walking with
Hmmm well that friendship feeling didn’t last long
You done got locked in the dungeon
Yup sure did eat that jail moss two minutes in
HUH, we’re controlling Susie now
In which choices do not matter…
SUSIE’S FOKKIN PISSED
And we can’t control her actions…but why controlling the human soul?
A pair of eyes got arrested?! What IS the world coming to?!!
Oh dear, we found a bunch of kings in baby jail
Why are these filthy cages so happy-looking
Awwww Susie joined the party for realizes!
So, this about final boss point for this business?
Why are you guys just sitting on a pile of loot
And just who is this sassy lost child?
BAAHAHAHAAA
HECK YEAH WE GET TO FLIRT AGAIN
I am now BED INSPECTOR yes
Hello again fancy blue boy
“Can…can we see it” / “No.”
This sure is a jammin party with CLUB MUSIC OH HO HO HO
Awww he put his bicycle to bed
‘Welcome to my shop, you ungrateful worms” HELL YEAH
I do not wisheth to hear your MP3s! I would rather listen to the sweet song of Death!
Prepare for a battle with…WHATEVER THIS IS!!!!
JUST FUGGIN CHUCK RALSEI AT SIR LION PLATEFACE, I LIKE IT
Six dollars, for all of that?! Geez
WHELP this looks like final boss time…
Hiiiii there Lancer
Oh dang is gettin serious now
Oh woooow that’s…someone’s fetish right there
HOKAY that was tricky but! Having the defense abilities certainly helped with pacifism through that…
Despite ending this peacefully, I don’t think this scene is gonna end on a happy note…
W H E L P
DAYUM that face from Susie!!
Awwww poor Ralsei
We only have BAD-byes WUAH WUAH WUAAAH
DAWWW lil’ Asriel-lookin dude with glasses (and YES I see that anagram there)
LMAO Susie’s face
EPIC ROCK MUSIIIIIC
Also I’ve really been enjoying the color effects
Awww look at this epic adventure you two had in the closet
So basically we went to Monster Narnia, neat
Awww Susie likes Monster Narnia
Oh no we worried Toriel! THE WORST
LIBRARBY
YOU STUDY THOSE HOT DEMON COMICS FOR COLLEGE, TEMMIE
Hiiii Toby you busy makin’ something!
ALPHYS NO, YOU BETRAY MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE
OFFICE UNDYNE, DOn’T ARREST ME
I like reindeer girl’s rowdy hospitalized dad
PARTY ANIMAL TORIEL CONFIRMED
I like how there’s just a poster on the wall in this room that reads PAIN
The police tape simply reads NGGAAAAAHHHHH!
Good grief there’s SO MUCH STUFF TO EXPLORE HERE BUT I HAVE TO KEEP GOING
Snowdrakes don’t have arms, oh no!!!
“Does it hurt to be made of blood??” ….Yes. Yes it does.
HIIIIIIIII SANS
Woah woah woah WOAH WOAH SANS
Everyone is here! Even Ice Wolf!
Yes I’ll take a Double Ice Pizza you weirdos
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD IT’S BURGERPANTS
10 OUT OF 10 GAME NOW
HIS FACES!!!! “C H I C K S”
That was brilliant, Burgerpants, thank you for existing
Catty!!! Hey where’s Bratty!
Noooo you gotta be besties with Bratty!
Brother Doug…?
Oh no, Mettaton, come out and talk to us!
ASGORE, HELLO
OMG Asgore hugs
Soul flowers….???
Awwww got some flowers for Toriel
THE GAY GUARDS IN THEIR GAY FLANNEL, YAY
It’s so late but I can’t stop until I’ve talked to LITERALLY EVERYONE
Thaaaat’s politics! …Rarely.
Comes to church for the fruit juice, sounds about right
DOG GRAVE, NO
Let’s go into the woods…what could go wrong…
Why can’t I get into the creepy shed…
Well, I think I got everything, so let’s go home now…
ASRIEL MAINS YOSHI IN SMASH CONFIRMED
Awwww Toriel is not big on Asgore’s bouquet!
OKAY decided to go to sleep here.
…Well that didn’t work out great
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
UUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHAT??????????
WHAT????????????
WHAT?????????
HAHA I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THE FUK HAPPENED IN ALL OF THIS BUT UH. WHEN’S CHAPTER TWO??
THAT SURE WAS A HELL OF A THING
No really Toby please WHAAAAAAATTT
OKAY I HOPE I DIDN’T MISS ANYTHING IMPORTANT BYYYYEEEE
#undertale#delta rune#lynx plays delta rune#lynx plays undertale#undertale spoilers#delta rune spoilers#scheduled this so it posted after the no spoilers rule so hopefully that works out#NO PLEASE WHAT HAPPENED HERE I STILL HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS#also I NEED MUSIC REMIXES NOW#also also so uh#EXPECT ART IN THE FUTURE#SORRY I CAN'T HELP MYSELF#including doing the running commentary thing!
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BnS act 9 was perhaps the worst thing ncsoft did to jyansei/cricket and OOF im still feeling it. as if cricket hasn’t cried enough in the whole story (when master hong dies, when hajoon dies, when they see master hong in a flashback, when the old pupils bid them farewell, when ayona dies) this was too much oh my god!!! this was sthe worst
spoiler ramble undercut
alright ill try talk abt the act in chronological order so starting off, 1) why chundoon’s voice so deep lmao. in kr it was such a soft boy’s voice then in NA its like hansen from fgo where they gave him a 40 year old chainsmoker’s voice SLKGJSDKGH
the other thing i liked tho from the start is the whole premonition thing where it ends with cricket’s death
me, internally: why is it ALWAYS zaiwei
but anyway i loved how this led up to going into the backstreets of the hao bazaar and beating up some punks, leading up to this golden exchange with yunma fei. i laughed SO HARD
empress: you were illegally street fighting in hao bazaar? cricket: (sweats) .....sorry empress: that’s cool i did too at one point
YUNMA FEI IS HONESTLY SO COOL. best empress (sorry ms cyg)
anyway the whole exchange with yunma fei was pretty nice, because she lets you read a letter. cricket’s hesitation was so cute! i can imagine them being rlly flustered, and yunma fei just shaking their head like “dude you saved the continent like twice? why wouldn’t you have authority” sgksjdgh
so the letter is basically dowager tayhu (her name was ak in kr? idk) passively aggressively asking for HM Hero to show up and yunma fei and cricket both almost agree to decline the invitation...till nuya shows up with news about ryu. then cricket does a complete 180 and is like “sorry. i have to go” which is kinda....omg....i get that u love your kids but its due to these impulsive decisions that lead to disaster!!! its why your efforts are erased in the end!! just decide to decline for once sweetie!!
even yunma fei tries her best to convince you, but you and her both know that there’s no stopping you once you made your mind to go somewhere. but yunma fei’s concern was nice enough, i love the friendship and bond you share with her-- she cares about you a lot, and so do you. other than the fact she is an empress, cricket is gentle with her too
anyway so you go to dasari palace, after a bit of a scuffle with an old captain who worked in the stratus empire, which led to a very pretty map as i posted briefly before. when u arrive at the banquet...everything is super suspicious lmao!! even from just stepping in you can feel that this was so set up to go against you. bns story rule of thumb: someone invites you to someplace, they’ll be after ur life.
one thing tho is i love how cricket is so caring of their students,, when jinsoyun was feeling sick, they offered to be by her side the entire time and hold her hand..but of course, soyun can’t take the room and runs off. cricket chases after her but is stopped by the guards, and i find their frustration rlly cute sdjkgh
then you meet the dowager and ryu! ryu, no memories ryu. who wasn’t hanging with ken after all LMFAO anyway he asks to spar with you and cricket is forced to act like this is the first time theyve met and u can feel the pain in their responses
so sparring with ryu was easy enough. afterwards general hondu wrecks the party, then cricket decides to go rest. but of course, not before seeing their lovely darling daughter soyun! they decide to check up on them and their concern for their wellbeing was sweet (a lot more doting in kr but i digress lmao)
afterwards, in typical blade and soul fashion, the minute u go into your resting room shit hits the fan and assassins, stratus soldiers, fiends all go after you and your pupils. after a frustrating (i’m a flame gunslinger! i don’t have any mobbing skills for crying outloud!) escort mission you meet choi jina, who i BARELY remembered but you meet her briefly at the start of act 2 and she helps you with the wraithbloom mess
she’s also pretty much jung hado genderbent but we won’t talk about that
with the help of choi jina cricket and fam go into a hidden chamber...a place they’ll be in for a while give or take LMAO. after some discussion, cricket decides “my amnesiac kid can’t be left in this shithole so i have to go back to him” (although in kr, cricket refuses but is eventually persuaded by bunyang) and choi jina and cricket go through....a fucking stealth mission, because after the murder of the minister (which was NOT cricket’s fault--they were just doing their job of eliminating demons) they become a wanted man!
now, it wouldn’t be so bad if i had a functional laptop but i don’t so, that shit took me an entire hour and a half. i gave up at some point and just walked on the ground rather than roof to roof, because that is the WORST stealth mission in the entire game!! why!!! holy crap!!! i could rant over and over about the stealth mission but ill save that for twitter...
anyway after stealth mission, you knock out ryu, choi jina carries him, and back in the hidden chamber you go. ryu suddenly ~remembers~ all the fun times and tells you dowager tahyu’s planning a war! cricket, not finding it suspicious at all that ‘suddenly son remembers me? wow!’ is like ‘ok ok my boy, take me away, i gotta warn, yunma fei’ then they act like prisoner and shit and it was hilarious with lyn walking sprite cause you can’t walk in front of him HGJKG
ryu catches a spy - one of yunma fei’s - and after cricket writes their letter, they give it to senha and go. then there’s another escort mission! when you’re back with the fam, its a team effort to go to the great dragon pulse. and hell, i wouldve just made ryu do all the fighting cause my computer really hated that whole mission and i barely got through HA
anyway, shortly before the escort mission, bunyang and cricket have a small argument--bunyang is always so worried about their master, and cricket can’t do anything about it; it’s their job to do all these things, they can’t refuse because of the bigger picture. cricket promises to come back safely and they can be a family again, and in general the whole argument is really heartbreaking because HA. guess what happens after the escort mission
before i get to that, yunma fei actually arrives - alone, so no jung hado with her - shortly before shit hits the fan. she plops through the dragon pulse and it leads to some horrifying revelations. she said that cricket’s letter told her to come alone because they are sick and need help, and cricket says they never asked for that? and then its a mess because now yunma fei, talus empress, is alone and it’s all in the dowager’s plan.
quickly running back to their students with the empress... but they were too late.
ryu betrayed them. and bunyang...
pays the price.
as if to make matters worse, cricket really was ill, they had been poisoned shortly before and
collapses.
they wake up in prison - goddamn! this is the third time i’ve woken up in jail! as if im not constantly falsely accused of crimes already! and witness an empress-to-empress showdown. yunma fei is really best empress. she sassed dowager tayhu hard LMAO
choi jina arrives and lets you and yunma fei out but cricket’s mind is in shambles because holy fuck!!!! my son just died!!! and unfortunately they cant find the time to mourn because 1) they’re in jail and they are breaking out like fugitives. the next segment is cricket and co. break outta jail to find the rest of their kids.
when cricket does find them its so OUCH because their kids are obviously traumatized - especially bunah!!!!!!!! the flesh and blood sister of bunyang who just fucking DIED and really ... it was just too much,
yunma fei tries her best consoling you but obviously cricket can’t think properly. but they don’t have time to be crying, because there’s too much on the line, so they swallow their feelings and keep moving.
i’ll continue on a second post...
#neesan texto#neesan shit art#neesans mindless text#bns#spoiler#bns spoilers#act 9 spoilers#OOF.#blade and mesos
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Best Friends to Lovers!Seokmin
HAHAHA THAT’S RIGHT FOLKS!!!!!! I PULLED THIS SHIZ ON YALL!!!1!11!! this is part 2 of seokmin’s bday present. and yes i know im over a month late leAVE ME ALONE!! THIS IS THE FIRST BULLETPOINT AU OF 2018!!! AND YES ITS AT THE END OF MARCH!!! FORGIVE ME CHILDREN!!!! i had SOOOO much fun writing this but maybe a bit too much bc i think i went overboard,,, but i cant help it that he needs so much love!!!
this is THE. LONGEST. BULLETPOINT. AU. I’VE. EVER. WRITTEN. it has definitely surpassed assassin!cheol pt 2 by a long shot and im a little concerned honestly bc i go OFF whenever i talk about my biases, especially the underrated ones. (wonwoo, you’ll get your turn one day wait for me bby)
happy bday to my sunshine pt 2. i love you so much that words will never be able to express it, even as a writer who writes as a hobby and has to Put Things Into Words. you’ve been such an amazing influence not only on the members, but also on carats and other diverse fans. i’ve always believed the saying that the brightest smiles hold the most pain, and i may not know all of your struggles, but i know how much you have to hide behind this idol front. we love you unconditionally, so please keep shining for us. also allow yourself to be sad and other negative emotions, but there must be darkness in order for the light to be appreciated, right? thank you for being the ball of sunshine we so deeply love. 💕💕💕
warnings: might give you diabetes on how soft and sweet i was feelin!!! as a double bias, it is hard to give everyone equal love so this is the 1 time i could fully dive into it!! also seokmin is a flirty and jealous drink sipper
Part 1: Be There In Spirt
Seokmin was your go-to for anything and everything
Whether it was to find a movie buddy or seeking advice, he was always there
You first met him at some social event your friend dragged you to
“So you can talk to more people!” Your friend would respond when you asked why
You really didn’t care much, if at all, for parties unless someone you’re acquaintanced with was also there
Your friend was too occupied with other people, so you just grabbed some food and juice and settled yourself in the kitchen
Someone entered the door and you could hear the volume of his muffled voice even from the other side of the door before he entered
You were just chilling at the countertop with your back to him and munching on your tortilla chips with salsa that you didn’t care who entered
He noticed that you were the only one there and you were eating and occasionally sighing mood tho
As he was opening his soda, he asked you pointedly, “is the food good, at least?”
You were startled and slightly jumped at the sudden sound of someone’s voice
You turned around to be greeted with the goofiest yet brightest smile
Is it possible to see that bright of a smile or one at all when someone’s drinking? Bc he definitely made it work
You just finished swallowing your food and merely brushed your hands and shrugged, “it’s pretty bland like this party,” which earned a heart laugh from the boy
“You got dragged here, too?” You nodded and cracked a smile. “What, was the whole antisocial ‘take refuge in food’ act a dead giveaway?”
He smiled and lightly chuckled, “that, and how you were muttering about getting dragged here as you munched on your chips,” he gestured to your now empty plate
“Hey, correction — I said that I was brought here against my will”
“Like that’s such a big difference,” he says with a smile on his lips as he finishes up his soda
“And it’s not every day that I meet a cool, tortilla-chip-eating person at a social, but maybe I would let myself get dragged out more often”
You kinda stared back at him and slowly blinked bc like
Was that a hint of flirtation in his tone or were you just that self-centered?
Maybe best of both worlds
You raised an eyebrow at him, “you want to see a loner at the snack table?”
“It’s easier to approach you or anyone like this, isn’t it?” He flashes another one of his infamous pearly grins and reaches in your bowl to steal a chip and pops it in his mouth
You jokingly say, “Oh, you think we’re friends now?”
He laughs throatily and puts his hands up in defense
“I think we’re past the stage of bonding over stale chips and salsa at this point”
And you’re cut off shortly when his rowdy group of friends interrupts the friendly banter y’all had rip :(((
Those darn cockblockers
“I’ll see you around, Tostitos,” he throws in a wink and gives you a short wave as he backs away from the door and leaves you as quickly as he entered
You shake your head and look at the sad, crinkled bag of chips and salsa
“Did he just nickname me after a brand of this stale party food??????”
What an iconic first impression tbh bless
Ever since then he would have this weird nickname system of naming you after foods you would eat to make fun of you or just joke around
“Cheer up, cheese puff!” ok this actually sounds kinda cute and now I’m soft :’(((
“Be there or be square, you pretzel”
You: “that didn’t even make any sense”
“Don’t be salty” ba dum tss
“Can you help me out, (peanut) butter cup?”
“Whatever you say, nerd...s”
“Okay you’re not getting any of my other candy then, seok”
He’s the only one out of your friend group — actually just everyone in general — to yell directly into your ear as a greeting
He calls it “cute”………………….. ok seok
But it’s ok bc he gives out the best hugs
Or maybe it’s just the best to you heheh ;)))
Invented!! Bear!! Hugs!!
The best ones that crush your lungs and you can barely wheeze out a breath
Your ideal hang out session with him involves screaming at the top of your lungs while playing Mario Kart and having a whole junk food feast sprawled out on the coffee table
“bRO YOU MADE ME SWERVE”
“GET OUT YOU’RE IN MY WAY”
Bonus: the chips and candy are also sometimes used to pelt at each other
It’s honestly more of a damn jungle when y’all are together it’s amazing LMAO
The type to crash at your place unannounced whenever he wants
You would open the door and he would just stroll in and look through your fridge like he’s lived there all his life
“WHY are you going through my fridge??? You need to go home, I have things to do today”
“Eh, we can just work alongside together—you’re running low on juice”
“Imma juice you boi if you don’t leAVE”
Your friend group most likely carries a pair of earplugs whenever you’re together
But underneath their rolling of eyes, they lowkey highkey ship the hell outta y’all
They even sometimes drop gigantic hints for you to get together but,,, things don’t exactly go their way
“Hey, Seokmin, my parents are having a barbecue this weekend. Maybe bring a plus one? Like uhhhhhh Y/N?” Real subtle
And he’d be like “what, Y/N??? Why would we need a plus one??? Aren’t we all going together anyways?”
The same thing happens on your end too smh
“My cousin is having a birthday party, you wanna come with? You can bring a date or whatever, probably Seokmin or something”
“Seok??? He would probably burn the place down HAHA but ya I guess I can bring him *shrug*”
And every time, both of you would ask: “but why (that other person)??? I can bring (insert another random member)”
GET A CLUE BABES!!! OH MY LORD
And they would just shake their head like sigh look at these naive kids
Mingyu: so are we just gonna let them be dumb like this orrrr????
Cheol: yeah let’s just leave them alone — nO THEY DON'T SEE HOW PERFECT THEY ARE TOGETHER WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING I’m with u on that one cheols
So this is the O Great Seungcheol’s plan: make each other jealous without knowing y’all would get jealous
A foolproof plan, amiright folks????
And what other cliche perfect way to do that than a WEDDING
it just so happens that Seokmin’s aunt is conveniently getting married and he’s inviting the whole crew
And the guys are like mwHAHAHA THIS IS PERFECT
Everyone’s talking about who’s bringing who as a date and things like that and you’re just chilling and scrolling on your phone
And everyone’s making eyes at each other without you knowing bc they’re like ok y’all time to initiate I Still Get Jealous Plan
“how about you, Y/N? who are you taking?”
And Seokmin subconsciously wants to know too bc he’s tuning in with the rest of them LOL
And you don’t even bother looking up at your screen bc that’s how indifferent you are to this whole thing
“I don’t really care, I guess anyone who doesn’t have a date or something”
Seokmin is about to open his mouth and ask you since that’s your usual thing
BUT SHOCKER!! SOMEONE BEATS HIM TO IT!!
“How about going with me? I don’t have anyone”
And you expected Seokmin to say those words, but you look up and see Jeonghan smile at you
THE LOOK OF B E TR A YA L ON SEOKS FACE DID THE TEMPERATURE JUST DROP BC IT IS C O L D IN HERE
Admittedly, you feel a little odd going with someone who’s your best friend and go-to for everything but hannie is your friend, so you don’t mind too much
So you’re like “o-oh sure that works”
And you steal a glance at seok but he has an unreadable expression and is smiling like usual
And for some reason you feel your chest drop just the slightest bit bc you thought he would at least fight for you a little bit and say something like
“heY HEY Y/N IS MY GO-TO FOR THESE THINGS”
But he doesn’t at all,,, and his lips looked a little strained when he smiled
and jeonghan is looking all slyly at seok bc he knows just a minute ago he could feel the back of his head being burned off by Seokmin’s glare
The convo picks up from where it previously left off and things are back to normal but the atmosphere is a little heavy
The day of the wedding comes and you’re about to finish dressing up
You’re waiting for half of them to pick you and meeting the other half at the venue
And ofc, in this half includes seok and jeonghan yikes
You hear your doorbell ring, and you’re like oh they’re here!! You say bye to your parents and put on your coat and shoes
When you open the door, you find yourself in front of Jeonghan and he’s like holy crAP
He’s awestruck and is looking at you like :OOOOO
“Jeonghan! Uhhh,,,, do I look weird???”
And he snaps out of it and is violently shaking his head like nO NO N O ofc not you look amazing
And you’re like heck yea I do I spent time looking this good :)))) (you don’t actually say this but it’s a thought)
and you get a funny feeling in your stomach and you realize you’re anticipating what Seokmin would think
If you got a good response from your “date,” surely your best friend would say smth good too??? Right??? That’s how this works???
Little did you know Seokmin (and everyone else) witnessed what happened and they’re like oMG Y/N LOOKS GOOD
Seokmin couldn't help but feel it should be him in Jeonghan’s shoes but he couldn’t refute the fact that you did indeed look like a million bucks
As you get in the car you lock eyes with him and you’re like hey Seokmin!!!
But you’re instantly b l o w n away by how CRISP HE LOOKS
His brown hair that’s usually sitting down and hides his forehead is now slicked back but in a way that still stands up and exposes more of his forehead and outlines his masculine face shape
His sharp suit perfectly fits on his toned body and you’re fully convinced you’re looking at an angel
YALL KNOW WHAT LOOK IM TALKING ABOUT. YOU KNOW.
You have to actually hold back a squeak bc you’re shook af
And he’s dying bc of how cute you are and wow are his palms sweaty???
You end up sitting in the middle of him and jeonghan and you’re just sitting happily and waiting to see what kinda food is at the wedding lmAO
but the real meal here is you eh??? Eh??? ;))))
Seokmin seems a little nervous and tense sitting next to you looking that good like he’s actually a little intimidated
You’re waiting for him to speak up and he’s clearing his throat and stammering a little bit
“Y-you look really nice, Y/N”
And you’re like ahahahhahhdgdhhhcjdbdhhd
“Thanks, seok, you clean up really nicely too”
And both of you can’t look each other in the eyes bc you’re gonna actually combust if you do
And everyone in the car is looking at each other like hehehhehehehh it’s workinggggg
When y’all finally arrive at the venue, you get out of the van with the help of Jeonghan’s hand
Seokmin: conceal don’t feel :))) channel your inner Elsa man :))))
And jeonghan is glancing back at Seokmin every so often to test him
And Seokmin is starting to catch on like ,,,, why is hannie always looking at me
He tests him even more when he casually holds your shoulder and drapes his arm around you
And Seokmin is like !!! ELSA WHERE ARE U
Jeonghan is being a little too touchy in seok’s eyes and Seok is silently fuming over the drinks
Soonyoung is like dude I can feel your dark energy all over my soup what’s up with you???
Seok is about to explode at this point and anything can set him off
“isn’t Jeonghan being just a little too touchy-feely with Y/N? That looks like borderline harassment. They’re not even dating!”
And soonyoung is silently laughing bc he’s like oh you fool lmao
“You sound a little too overprotective over your best friend. Well — if that’s really the reason why you are”
“Of course I’m just worried — dID YOU SEE THAT ARE THEY FEEDING EACH OTHER”
Soonyoung: u need help bro
“Steal a dance with her later” soonyoung says and seok is like uh what Im not gonna make a fool out of myself
All soonyoung does is shrug and winks and he goes back to eating
Soon enough the dancing portion begins and jeonghan takes you out to the dance floor
And it’s nice bc you’re just having pure fun and dancing goofy moves, not to mention Jeonghan is great company
But you’re a little disappointed you and seok weren’t able to talk and have fun the way y’all usually do
Jeonghan has sensed this the whole day and he says “I’ll be out of your hair soon enough”
You’re taken aback by his statement and you’re like “what no you were really fun to be around tonight!!”
And he laughs and ruffles your hair like “no need to cover it up. I knew this would provoke him” and you both look across the room where seokmin is standing alone, sipping on his drink as he pretends he wasn’t just looking at you dancing for the past ten minutes
The upbeat song transitions to a slower song and jeonghan pats you on the shoulder
“Here’s lover boy’s cue ;)))” and he bends down to your ear and whispers
“But I could stay here longer and mess around with him a little longer”
You push him away laughing and say “let’s not torture the poor guy any more than you already have”
Both of you are laughing and SURPRISE SEOKMIN APPEARS
and he claps his hand on hannie’s shoulder and says “May I?”
And jeonghan nods and looks between the both of you and is all ;)) have fun kiddos and winks at you right before he leaves
And now there were only 2
You didn’t realize you would be so nervous until your heartbeat nearly spiked up when he came into contact with you
DHHDHDJDJ SORRY IM FREAKING OUT WRITING THIS WOWIEURJ SCREAMS
It’s good I’m good we’re good this is good
His cheeks are tinted pink as he attempts but fails to make eye contact with you once again
He gently takes your hands and places them around his neck and then places his own around your waist
It’s only at this moment that you’re able to make proper eye contact for possibly the first time that entire day
You’re slowly moving to match the slow tempo and you can feel your face getting hotter in the heat of the moment
It stays intimate and silent for a few moments before the both of you try to break the silence
“Umm,,” “So,,,”
Androgen you laugh at how awkward you’re both getting
“This is probably the first time we’re not screaming for the whole area to hear”
He chuckles and nods slowly
“I think my breath is just taken away” he says so softly that the music could have drowned his voice out if it weren’t for the close proximity of you and him
and you’re like ??? By what??? Are you feeling ok??
“By you”
And you’re like bLUUUSSSSHHHing big time
“A-ah, stop it, I only tried to look a little more presentable today,,,,”
Jeonghan somewhere in the distance: that’s not what you told me this morning!!
“You always look beautiful no matter what”
And now you’re at a complete loss of words bc well how do you respond to your best friend who’s shooting compliments one after the other so easily????
You’re desperately trying not to melt into a puddle in his arms but it’s a little hard
“You’re charming as always, Lee” and he’s like ;)) ofc ofc
“You’re a good-looking fellow yourself, not just me. Have you seen the girls who were drooling over you today??”
He blankly blinks at you and shakes his head
“Well, I didn’t notice actually. All of my eyes were on you tonight,,,,,”
FUCUEHEYDH IM SCREWMJRN IM SC REA MIN F
You’re a full fledged tomato by now and you’re trying to bury your face in his chest so that you could save face from this horrid embarrassment
“Okay, tone it down, Seok,,,, I cant handle all of this complimenting for a night”
He laughs and pulls you closer to his chest, his grip on your waist a little more secure
“I don’t know where this is all coming from either, but now that it is, I might as well say it all”
“What was that drink earlier???”
“I swear I’m 100% sober rn ask soonyoung!! Anyways, I didn’t think much of anything when I first met you honestly, but looking back at it, I think there was already some bit of attraction since then”
“You liked me when I was eating chips and salsa??? Really???” You look up at him incredulously
“It may not be the most flattering moment, but it was cute how you were hunched over your bowl LOL”
You: lemme just DIE
“If Jeonghan weren’t your date today, I’m not sure if I would have ever realized this. Maybe at some point, but at a much later time. I think it would have consumed me anyways”
He notices you’ve gone quiet and he’s like oh lord what if I messed up omgofkfkkf
“So,,,, yeah,,, i get it if you don’t feel the same way,,, I don’t wanna make things weird if you’re uncomfortable knowing this,,, but it was made crystal clear tonight that I really like you more than a best friend. I think I always have”
And you’re breaking out into giggles bc you realize how dumb you’ve both been
And he’s like !!!???!!!! why are you laughing omg I’ve done it you think I’ve gone mad
“tbh Seokmin I was disappointed that you weren’t my date since you usually would fight the members if they asked me”
“I kinda thought maybe I’ve been forcing you to do it too much with me?? and the other guys and you can do whatever you want”
“Seokmin, we’re best friends i would have picked you in a heartbeat”
And he’s like skdjjdjh is it suddenly hot in here it’s just you ;)))
“But as for the feelings…… it is weird”
He’s like oh :((,,, yeah I knew it would be kinda weird—
“—that we’ve liked each other all this time and it took us this long to realize it through some dumb wedding date thing”
And his face immediately lights up and you’re about to clutch your heart by how pure he is :’))))
He almost blinds you with his smile and he pulls you in so that your slow dancing position turns into a hug and he’s giggling into your hair and is spinning you around
*INHALES DEEPLY* MY GOD SOMEONE PROTECT THIS PURE BUN IM GONNA CRY I LOVE HIM SM
You can't help but giggle with him since his laugh is so infectious and you’re both a bubbly giggling mess my lord I think I just got diabetes
Poor baby was deathly scared you were gonna reject him but he’s so relieved you didn’t!!! :’))))!!!!!!
He slowly pulls apart from the hug and you’re both looking at each other hesitantly, bashfully
and In The Moment all you’re thinking about is how warm and how right it feels to be in his arms
You’re both still in your hugging position, his arms wrapped around your upper back/shoulders and your arms around his torso
You’re a little out of breath because of all the laughing and spinning, and both his and your eyes flicker to the other’s lips
You’re not sure who leaned in first but the next thing you know, your faces are only centimeters apart, his hand on your cheek
And then you feel something warm and soft on your lips
Holy hELL, am I really kissing Seokmin???!!! You’re silently freaking out and it’s just like
Your brain: ⁉️⁉️‼️‼️⚠️⚠️⚠️
You can feel his smile against your lips as he lightly tugs you closer to him and engulfs you in his embrace
But your mind gets fuzzier with every passing second so you let yourself enjoy the moment
Until you hear distant cheering in the back
“yyyYYYEESSS WE DID IT BOYS FREAKING FI NA L L Y”
You and Seokmin pull away and look back like wtf is happening
Sure enough, the other 12 guys are whooping and cheering and you would have thought it was your own wedding
,,,,refer to husband!seokmin
Seokmin’s just like “wait y’all planned this???”
Jeonghan: ya it was so fun teasing you this past week lmao you’re welcome tho :))))
Seokmin: I’m gonna eat your share of ice cream for the next month :))))
And everyone’s just like “y’all literally took years to realize this you should thank us uhhh”
Seokmin’s about to open his mouth to spout out some more objections but you tiptoe to peck him on the lips to make him shut up
“eeeEW UGHH nvm I already regret doing this”
“Seungcheol I will eat your share of ice cream too”
On the ride back home, you’re both comfortably leaning on each other, your head on his chest and his on top of yours
You’re so worn out that you sleep the whole way back home
Bonus: the guys in the car are giggling softly and take secret pics
Extra bonus: they taunt you both and use it as blackmail but in reality they’re jealous and want you to use it as your phone wallpaper
Extra extra bonus: he gives you a goodnight kiss at the front of your door and the guys scream in disgust and hurry him to return home :’)))))
ICONIC COUPLE OF THE FREAKIFN CENTURY OH NY GODHD!!!!! I LOV!!!!! MY PURE CINNAMON ROLLS!!!!!
#write-svt#seventeen#seventeen seokmin#seventeen dk#seokmin#dk#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen headcanons#seventeen au#seokmin imagines#seokmin scenarios#seokmin headcanons#seokmin au#dk imagines#dk scenarios#dk headcanons#dk au#my post
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Take your hands off me, I don't belong to you, you see, and take a look at my face for the last time, I never knew you, you never knew me, say hello.. ♪
WAVE GOODBYE.
WHADDUP PPL. Much like Ronroneo, we’re back from the dead and ready for a whole new generation of Union fuckery. We’re also officially.. drumroll.. MIDDLE CLASS. Our shiny new house is based on this one by frottana-sims, which I downloaded but dumbassly forgot to install, and since loading the game takes a hot half-hour I opted for this poor recreation instead. We start the extreme home makeover with an incredible budget of..
...Yea, I see the value of getting 6 pets to the top of their careers now. Included in this insane sum is the 20k+ that Wyatt and Jojo brought with them moving in, and at first I’m worried that we’re way too rich for only generation 2. Well, careful what you wish for, cause here’s our post-remodeling budget:
LMAO. It’s as if not a day has passed since Vic started this legacy with a dream in her heart and crap to her name. Let’s check out the new digs!
Everything was purple.. his pills.. his hands.. his foyer.
As eagle-eyed readers may observe, both the hall and the living room were designed with nothing else in mind but whether they matched our cat paintings. Per legacy rules I use as little cc as possible, which isn’t that hard since I feel this bizarre, angular and hugely impractical couch really encapsulates Jojo’s essence. Like if he was a servant in Beauty and the Beast this would be his furniture form.
Apparently the only things I deemed important enough to capture were the cat portraits, so it looks like my Komeization is finally complete! Here’s some floorplan shots tho so you don’t get disoriented in our labyrinth-like mansion. Please note our amazing pink-blue-purple kitchen! Barbie’s Dreamhouse who??
And here’s the second floor, which also illustrates the exact point I ran out of money. Honestly looking back I don’t understand how the fuck this place cost 70k?? Like nothing is particularly expensive except the amazing vintage batmobile which was around 30-40k and some of the paintings? But I guess all the small things add up in the end + I’m super bad with money..
..and I’m not the only one. Jojo GET A FUCKING GRIP and A JOB. Literally no comment @ your cat wants, you inherited the jaw, wasn’t that enough??? ANYWAY. I know the question on everyone’s mind is how is Wyatt going to fit in with the Unions.. and all I have to say about that..
..is LOL. Truly the perfect career for when your mother-in-law is a criminal mastermind and your husband is a serial killer! I mean the jokes practically write themselves. At least he doesn’t want 10 kids or any shit like that, cause I’ve seen hell and it was the result of mixing Jojo/Wyatt genes in cas.
On top of gifting us with his future-probably-fug children, Wyatt also gives us the gift of our first ever kitchen fire when he decides to make dinner with 1 cooking point. His generosity really knows no bounds.
It’s all fun and games now but Wyatt deadass almost died in the inferno and was about to take poor, stupid Komei with him, who of course ran to the fire even though he was in the yard. Meanwhile Victoria was safely watching tv and didn’t move while Jojo..
..was doing this in the next room. Two types of sims I guess!
-So Wyatt, you’ve been here for almost an hour now, burned down our kitchen and I still don’t see any grandchildren. I thought you were a family sim!
-Haha oh mom, you’re hilarious! Ignore her, Wyatt, let’s enjoy your delicious pasta.. It was definitely worth almost dying for.
-Your mama is right, mon cheri, not only do you have an obligatión to your famille but I rolled the want to have a bébé the second we graduated!
-Well it’s still gonna be there when we aren’t broke, Wyatt, god!
-But.. bébés, mon cheri! Tons of bébés I can have but never interact with, in typical famille sim fashión!
-UGH thanks a lot for opening this gate, mom. If only you had found your love of children when I was living on cat food.
-Well it’s different when they are your children, everyone knows that.
-THAT’S NOT WHY PEOPLE SAY THAT MOM
-Honestly, Jojό, I’m prouder of taking down your répugnant suitόrs than I am of graduating with honors!
-Aww Wyatt <3
-And if I have to souffrir through a childless existence to be with mon amour, so be it (:
-Aw- wait what?!
-Really, c’est bien, Jojό, marriage is all about compromise, nό? I mean, not that I would know since we’re not even married yet!
-Wyatt we’ve been here for 3 hours.
-My point précisément.. C’est bien though!
-Can’t believe I’m saying this but I really regret murdering Ti-Ning.
That makes two of us, Jo. Honestly even Francis would be better than this. Family sim spouse??? Tf was I thinking.
Ah, some things never change <3 It’s a new day and someone very special passes by our lot..
UGH NO not you asshole, once again delivering bills at the worst possible time.
-Miss me bitch?? Lolol
ONE OF THESE DAYS DAGMAR. ONE OF THESE DAYS ISTG
No, it’s mismatched beard townie, whose regular outfit is simply iconic, and he’s waving at me! What a sweetheart! TAKE SOME NOTES DAGMAR YOU FROZEN-FACED FREAK
-Umm he’s actually waving at me, moron.
-WRONG, he’s waving at me!
Ok it literally doesn’t matter who he’s waving at.
-Well c’est moi.
OK WHATEVER WYATT GOD. Just go off to work in a position you’re criminally unqualified for and try not to die ok??
-Why would I mourir?
Hm let’s see, maybe because you’re a ‘SWAT Team Leader’ straight out of college with a shocking lack of skill points?? Jfc college degrees in this game are so fucking op it’s legit making me resentful of my sims.
In other news, major dicks Sophie and Victor have started constantly beating each other up and the only thing surprising about this development is that it took this long. Honestly these fights are peak #TeamNoOne. Please note Alegra who continues to give 0 fucks @ the bloodshed. What a gal <3
Burning with religious fervor, fundamentalist nutjob Sophie emerges victorious!
-I WALK WITH GOD BITCH
Tears. Literal tears. Victor is the most unbelievable creature I have ever played.
-The rampant violence in this house is a violation of human rights! I AM OUTTA HERE
Literally still cannot believe this happened, like the sheer NERVE is killing me. Victor has started every fight he’s ever been in for an astounding total of 40-50 fights, and as you all know he almost always wins. Like this one was what? The fourth one he lost?? AND YET HE RUNS AWAY LIKE HE’S THE VICTIM I HATE/LOVE HIM SO MUCH
Meanwhile this happens which, of course. Leave it to me to finally get a chance card right for the only sim who doesn’t even deserve the job he currently has.
..Police Chief Wyatt reporting for duty! And crime increased 80% overnight.
In actual good and not lawsuit-waiting-to happen news, Wyatt brought Amanda, Vic’s only friend/lesbian crush with him! Amanda has the distinct honor of being literally the only non-Union non-Jojo person Vic has ever genuinely liked and hasn’t had an affair with. YET THAT IS.
Man, these are some fat fucking flies. I’m talking 10 plagues of Egypt teas.
-I KNOW, where the fuck is Komei, what are we paying him for?
-I’m over here honey, talking to my least favorite son for the second time in my life, since apparently he’s sticking around.
-Yes, thanks for requesting a recount of the heir vote, dad. I will remember it when I decide where to scatter your ashes.
-I TOLD YOU I WANT THEM MIXED WITH THE CAT LITTER
Ugh Komei, please stop trying to bond with your son and do something productive instead-
-like finally convincing Neo to bang Sophie. She has refused 3 TIMES because there’s a rule I have to earn kittens by suffering. I mean Alegra refusing to procreate with Victor made sense, it was Victor, wtf is Sophie’s excuse? Waiting for marriage?
ABOUT TIME
YAS. CAT GEN 3 ON THE WAY. Human gen 3 will have to wait till I’m in the mood to deal with screaming infants aka it might take a while.
The science career FINALLY SHOWS UP after 5 fucking days, jfc. Love how Wyatt’s dumb ass started as a swat team LEADER but Jojo who has half the skills maxed starts as a science teacher. Also love the idea of Jojo as a teacher in general, I mean just imagine having him teach you science in high school. I would literally drop out.
Jojo returns from work, brings this rando with him and doesn’t get promoted. We can’t all be Wyatt I guess! We’re not completely broke anymore tho so..
It is time.
Gunther, Melody and Max Flexor on one side..
Craig, Brit Brit, Ti-Ning and Daniel on the other. What a bunch of assholes, Craig obviously excluded. Remember him? I invited him because he and Jojo are still semi-friends thinking he wouldn’t show up and yet here he is! What a good guy.
-It’s at moments like this, watching your high school boyfriend get married.. that you really get to thinking..
Awww.
-..there but for the grace of god go I.
Less awww. You’re not wrong tho, definitely dodged a sociopathic bullet..
..not everyone is that lucky. WE GET IT WYATT YOU’RE CRAZY AND IN LOVE
-Mon bien adoré, I vow to aimer and honόr you and not cheat on you again or at least be more discrete about it <3
-And I vow not to kill you and feed you to the cats for as long as we both shall live <3
Ah, true love, you guys.
Too bad half our guests are inside dancing-
-OR HAVING COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE AND UNTIMELY THOUGHTS. TI-NING SERIOUSLY GO TO HELL. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU HOW DARE YOU
Well at least Vic is excited which is more than I can say for Gunther who is literally LOOKING THE OTHER WAY.
Time to cut the cake with the sky as our only witness, since everyone has taken a plate from the buffet and fucked off inside. Seriously WORST GUESTS EVER
Not one to be outdone by his guests’ questionable behavior, Wyatt takes the time to remind us who he really is.
-And n'est-ce pas forget it!
Despite all the obvious problems, like one of the grooms literally going to sleep, our party score is ‘good time’ which is a truly rare and exciting occurrence. With less than a minute left I’m feeling pretty confident that nothing can ruin this wedding!
Weirdly no one has touched the champagne even though sims in general are obsessed with it?? My best guess is everyone is at a loss for words at having to toast this union and who can blame them tbh. Thankfully Daniel steps up and I find it super sweet because I’ve forgotten that he and Wyatt are mortal enemies and it’s only by chance they haven’t beaten each other up on this instance like they have countless times before.
-Let’s all raise a glass to my beloved brother, Jojo, who generously woke up to attend his own wedding reception! Just one of many examples of his fine, giving character. Too bad he’s committing his life to a complete waste of space adulterous loser like Wyatt, who I’m not even convinced is really french, since his ability to speak and understand english fluctuates according to convenience. Man, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but this choice in spouse is just too tragic. Oh well! To Jojo!
NOICE, still a good time. SO CLOSE
AND YET SO FAR. Goddammit do you two mind killing each other on your own time and not literally 10 seconds before our wedding ends??
-DIE WHORE, THIS WILL TEACH YOU TO STEAL MY MAN
-THAT’S MY LINE SLUTBAG
-HA! ZUMBA, BITCH
-Wow, so glad I woke up for this, really got my bloodlust going!
Indeed a roaring success if there ever was one. I mean how can this night possibly get any better?
.............of course.
Oh nice, I remembered to install an alarm for once! I’m also desperately trying to wake up Wyatt thinking that he’s fucking CHIEF OF POLICE so he might prove useful in this situation..
..especially since we get this cop of a completely untrustworthy Bieber hairstyle. Talk about striking fear in the heart.
Sadly it turns out that Wyatt could not give less of a shit that we’re getting robbed and picks this moment to head for wedding buffet leftovers-
-while Bieber cop prevails! This robber is awesomely named Russ Bear btw and I wish that was my name, sounds like a slavic medieval folkore hero. But I digress. Please prepare yourselves because our first robbery is about to take a dark turn.
-Ehh, you get at a certain level on la force, you just become desensitized to la criminalité..
-Oh don’t worry Wyatt, I totally understand.. I mean I’ve robbed so many houses in my time, I hardly blink anymore..
-So it looks like you and I are not so different after all.. ;)
.............
.....................
............................why. why has the universe chosen me for the greatest suffering the world has ever known. i try and i try but incestuous relationships just keep sprawling like mythical strangler vines. i bet this wouldn’t happen to someone named Russ Bear. fml
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